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huginsmemory · 1 year

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hi :) 🔥 maybe for vashwood or just trigun in general

Hello, and why thank you for the ask! This is a spicy one hahaha. Uhm, I definitely do have a few bones to pick with vashwood and trigun, and yup if you're like oh no is this about stampede (cough, low hanging fruit...) Then. Uhm. yeah it is. Sorry. I have a few thoughts about it, and why I really dislike (sorry stampede enjoyers) the choices for the characterization for Vash and Wolfwood, including the feminization of Vash. And also... how part of these characterizations are related to classical yaoi shipping dynamic tropes and how it may or may not be intentional (I'm gifting u a conspiracy haha). And then my own opinions on these changes and the reception of the new characterizations. These thoughts have been rolling around in my brain for a while but I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it since it's a bit spicy. But. Well. This is as good a sign as any.

I'll be going over the differences in Wolfwoods characterization, in Vash's characterization and his feminization in stampede, and then how this relates to yaoi shipping dynamics and Vashwood fandom reception (and my personal feelings around it...).

Also, this ended up being... Really long. Oops. I've highlighted the TLDR paragraphs in red for those who want to skim. If u want to just be like, wow spicy take with no context... Go to the last paragraph lol.

Preface and acknowledgement

I want to preface this with that I haven't actually watched Stampede, although I have quite heavily engaged with secondary material about it, ie gifs, meta posts, etc. So I suppose one can take my opinions with a grain of salt; to really form a full opinion on the series, I would have to watch stampede myself, of which I have zero time to do and maybe at one point I'll get around to. This is also why I've been reluctant to get into my thoughts... but from what I've seen of it, I've got a few bones to pick.

Yes, I may be a bit of a hater (ah... such a strong word...) but I do want to acknowledge that stampede has revived the trigun fandom, and hell, I wouldn't have read the manga without it. So credit where credits due, and it's very exciting to engage with the fandom for the first time and see it grow so much in such a short time. Also, yes, I am one of those people who watched the 98 version quite a while ago, so for me it's something that is nostalgic. Call me blinded by nostalgia all u want. If stampede is what first got you into trigun-- congrats! I'm not here to invalidate your experience; stampede is simply another iteration of trigun (even if I disagree with some of the characterizations), and I highly recommend you check out the manga as well. I'm very happy to have you here in the fandom!

Wolfwood's characterization

As some other people have noted here- stamp!ww is a bit different then ww in trimax or the 98, while the cut-copy-paste of the tragic orphange background stays the same (Nightow, you're so over the top. I love it).

Within 98 and trimax, ww is a bit rough around the edges, but is overall friendly, kind, charismatic and a bit goofy (a character trait these ww's share with Vash, which they both use it in a way to mask their darker parts of their lives). Sure, wolfwood in these iterations have zero issues calling people out on their bullshit and is willing to manipulate people around him into doing the greater good- but is shown to be gruffly genuinely caring about people when he can help (especially children), even if he still chooses to kill people when it comes down to it. This can be seen with 98!ww getting Vash to sign up for the tournament to help the single mum and her kid, and the way trimax!Wolfwood treats Milly during the midvalley fight because he's worried about her getting seriously injured, even going to the point of injuring her himself. Sure, he's not going to declare his care verbally to people, but he doesn't need to do that when he's actively doing things that clearly shows he cares for people, especially those he's created ties to, even if he chooses to be violent/forceful when he believes what he is doing is for the best.

This charismatic friendliness and kindness is generally stripped from Stamp!Wolfwood; sure, he cares deep down as is displayed by the orphange and his concern later in the series for Vash, but through his actions with others, there's a noticible lack of general feeling of kindness behind his overstepping of people boundaries compared to og!ww. As another user in here put it, Stamp!ww is a bit of a dick. He has harsh commentary to the group and one of the first things you do is see him rip off Meryl and Roberto with his undertaker job over literal dead bodies when he's introduced. Nor does he really get to be redeemed through showing his care for children, such as at the bus stop where he gives away most of his money or food to begging children, opting to go hungry himself; it instead being replaced by him giving a lolipop to Zazie... which doesn't count for shit. This post by chibivesicles does a really good job of summarizing it from the fourth episode.

ID: 3 images, each of different iterations of Wolfwood giving something away to a child. First is 98, with ww giving away two of his three food ration bars to two scruffy children, the second from the manga with ww giving away two of his three coins to two scruffy children while Vash watches on, and the third with ww offering a sucker to Zazie while Meryl and Vash watch on.

Overall, the gist I've gotten of Stampede's iteration is that they very much boxed Wolfwood into the typical anime tsundere black-haired brooding character, stripping out his previous goofy and friendly charisma as well as his general feeling of kindness to fit that character trope better.

Vash's Characterization

Vash within 98 and trimax is also pretty different from stamp!Vash; I find this difference to specifically come from stamp!Vash feeling more naive, less driven and well--a bit spineless. The differences come down to two things; Vash having a strong moral spine which he is willing to call people out on due to righteous anger and Vash being emotionally detached from the people around him. Sure, og Vash (going to just use this to refer to 98 and trigun manga together) is goofy, cheerful and shows his emotions on his sleeve, but he doesn't actually let people become close to him. It's delibrate, and most of it specifically revolves around obfuscating that he's a plant and his goal of trying to chase Knives down; thus, he adopts a lifestyle of travelling and rarely staying long in areas, and so you see that his relationship with people are pretty surface level, even through his friendliness.

Three specific incidents within the series and their differences illustrate the emotional distance, and the righteous fury of og!Vash's in comparison to stamp!Vash. This includes Vash's childhood and relationship to the people on the seeds ship after the fall, Brad questioning their trust in Vash as he isn't human, and Wolfwood killing someone to save Vash.

Firstly, for Vash's childhood after the fall, within stampede he's pretty quickly picked up by the seeds ship, which hosts him, and they immediately are able to identify that he is an independent plant. They know more about him than he knows really about himself, and they also are generally aware about the fall (although not the exact details until later). Vash is raised for a while under their tutelage, and ends up helping heal plants, overall forming bonds with them even if they treat him a bit rough in the beginning, and Luida becomes mom #2.

ID: Screenshot from tristamp, of the photo on Vash's bedroom table, of him with all the seeds ship people he was working with.

In 98, no information is really given, but presumably is something somewhat similar to trimax. In trimax, after the fall Vash literally wanders the wastes with Knives for about 70 years, until Knives cuts Vash's arm off in anger at Vash's insistence that people shouldn't be killed, even when he's literally at the mercy of a town that is going to kill him and sell his organs. It is assumed sometime not long after Vash gets picked up by the seeds ship people, as it is mentioned that theyve known him for 70 years. Vash during these 80 years is very alone, with only his brother as company who is angry and abusive, as is directly pointed out within the manga. The two of them are presumed to be eking out a living travelling around the harsh wastes, and as displayed by the human organ stealing town, it is clear that often human settlements are just another possibility of danger due to crime and violence as a result of limited resources.

ID: two manga pages. First is just a panel showing Vash's flashbacks to violent traumatic instances of his childhood, showing a montage of him yelling, holding a gun, and crouched over a man who is dead and bleeding out looking panicked and horrified.

The second page is Knives while they are traveling together in the desert, looking down at Vash and calling him over. Vash looks at Knives, and he narrates that "It was about 80 years after the fall. Time passed slowly, but we neither grew nor parted. I knew I couldn't leave him alone. That thought alone determined the distance between us." Vash and Knives are clearly distant from each other in the panel, Vash in the foreground and Knives indistinguishable other than a silhouette at the top of the sand dune in the hindground.

In comparison, although it's not easy for Vash either in stampede, his childhood is cushier and less lonely. This loneliness and harsh environment that trimax!Vash exists within adds a depth of experience to his ethics, informing his righteous anger over everything that is morally wrong and should have never been, that makes him speak out, providing him a stronger spine which stamp!Vash doesn't have. This intensely lonely part of his upbringing also gives him an emotional independence, or even detachment, from most people he interacts with, in comparison to stamp!Vash who is emotionally dependent (and seems less mature) due to his ties to the seeds ship people.

As in tristamp, the closest people to Vash in trimax are the people on the seeds ships (also Lina and her grandma, but they don't know who he is when they take him in). Although he's the most open with them (ie, they know about Knives and his plans), during the visit to the seeds ship you are still given the idea that while Vash knows everyone and cares greatly for them, Vash is still generally emotionally independent from them, and doesn't form intimate relationships with people (especially compared to stamp!Vash). Interestingly, the manga implies when they first visit that they don't know what he is exactly, just that he's functionally immortal, as that when Luida talks about him to Wolfwood, she doesn't mention that he's a plant. Overall, compared to the outside people, the people on the seeds ship know more, and are more aware of how to use the old technology (it's also something that is hinted that some of it is possibly taught to them by Vash over the years), but they are not more knowledgeable then Vash, with Vash likely about the same level or more knowledgeable then them about general 'lost tech' and plant related things. As well, the people on the seeds ship in trimax are entirely unaware of circumstances around the fall--and Vash never tells them either. The visit to the seeds ship trimax functions as a way to allow the reader to distinctly comprehend Vash's age, and how Vash is really quite a terribly lonely character, as he is doomed to watch those he cares about die (which also informs why he likely doesn't really let people get very close to him, along with practical matters). This is directly pointed out in Luida's conversation with Wolfwood and Wolfwoods own inner monologue, as well as being alluded to by Jessica's locket, and Brad's grumblings. From the explanations you get the sense that Vash is emotionally independent and in a way, detached from people's opinions of him as a result of his longevity, with his constant travelling only ensuring that.

This is very different to the relationship of stamp!Vash with the seeds ship, as Vash is shown to have emotionally dependant relationships with the people on the seeds ship, with them literally raising him as a child, and this 'parent-child' relationship is only emphasized by them knowing more than Vash does about independent plants. Instead of emphasizing how Vash is old and outside of time, the dynamic gives Vash as a character an overall young and naive slant to his character, even if they still do drop the 'he's 150 years old' line when the stamp gang visits the ship.

This emotional dependence/independence directly corroborates to the differences in Vash's response to Brad's comment on him not trusting him, as something non-human. Within stampede, as Vash is young, he flees, feeling rejected--indicating a strong emotional dependence on those on the seeds ships for acceptance of who he is. However, within Trimax, Vash acknowledges Brad's comment, and actually validates and agrees with Brad's concerns; he's aware enough that who and what he is something to be feared and suspicious of (especially as by this time, the fifth moon incident, and July has occurred) and is worried about this himself; however, he simply requests Brad to trust him in this. Trimax!Vash's is emotionally independent, from Brad's rejection, a person who is part of the community that he is closest to; he accepts what Brad says, but also stands firm on his request from the community and his continued association with them, focused on his goals of stopping Knives. It's a scene that originally shows Vash's emotional independence from what others think of him (although he is saddened by it), and displays his maturity and acceptance when others reject him for who he is.

ID: Five pages of the manga. First page, Brad (in his early 20's) scoffs at Vash being called human. Second, Brad accuses Vash as a plague bringer in light of the fifth moon incident being brought up, grabbing him by his collar. Vash closes his eyes, then looks up at Brad, gaze steely, replying, "yeah that is possible". Third page, Vash asks Brad "Won't... you trust me? Please. Brad?". Vash looks sorrowful but is serious. Fourth page, Brad responds by saying "Ones who live outside of time, huh... In thirteen years... even though my hands have grown this big... You... Haven't really changed at all". The words are over-laid on an image of Brad's small hands reaching up to Vash when he was a child, and a smaller panel has Brad looking disturbed. The fifth page has Brad angrily stomping out of the room calling out "Everyone in the older generation may trust you... But you're not convincing me!". Vash then responds by saying to the older man in the room, that "I see what you mean. From the standpoint of a normal human I must be a monster.".

This is entirely turned on its head within tristamp to a scene that displays emotional dependence on people and an inability to accept rejection, displaying a immature, self-conscious, and younger version of Vash. Obviously, he is still younger at this point, but this immaturity and emotional dependence is one that still persists within the narrative of stampede, and influences your view of Stamp!vash. One could argue that then learning the details of why the ships fell is something Vash feels more guilty about, and so takes Brad's criticism harder, and flees. However, no matter what, this is a immature reaction. Interestingly, this portrayal of Vash having an emotional dependence on humans accepting him, is quite contrary to trimax, as this trait is actually one that specifically emphasized to belong to Knives, while trimax!Vash is shown to be emotionally detached and generally uninterested in their acceptance by humans.

ID: Screencap from stampede, Vash against the door looking shocked and horrified as he hears Brad say "he's never been on the side of us humans!".

The third thing is the scene where Wolfwood kills a man for Vash. Within stampede, Rollo is killed; Vash is angry at Wolfwood for doing so, grabbing Wolfwoods collar, but with a few strong words of a reminder of the harshness of general existence from wolfwood, Vash shuts up and is shown to just be sad, if a bit withdrawn/sulky with Wolfwood. Within Trimax, this scene is technically a rolling together of multiple arcs, but specifically thematically wise is a revamp of when he faces off with Rai-dei the Blade. When Wolfwood kills Rai-dei, Vash literally slaps Wolfwood hard in anger, resulting in them get into a fight, with Wolfwood retaliating by slamming Vash down to the ground in anger, and culminating in him pressing his loaded handgun into Vash hands, pointing it at his own head, and telling him to shoot; Vash then derogatorily calls Wolfwood a coward and they break up the fight, both still very angry at each other. In this, Vash clearly has very strong morals and is unafraid to call Wolfwood out when he transgresses them, full of righteous fury. None of this anger is transposed into stamp!Vash, who just looks sad about all of it; sure, he has values, but they feel like he fumbles with them, unsure and unwilling to speak up for them in an assertive way, crumbling underneath any criticism.

ID: first image is three panels from tristamp, and second is five pages of the manga, both detailing Vash calling out Wolfwood on killing.

First of the three panels has Vash grasping ww collar, looking angry; Wolfwood says "mercy" in response to the unseen question asked by Vash. He then goes on to say "there's no way to return his humanity", and Vash is looking down, fists clenched. Wolfwood continues, saying that "at best, it's all talk" about Vash's beliefs. Vash looks hollow and distressed.

The second, the first page has ww shooting Rai-dei; Vash responds in horror. Second page has Vash slap Wolfwood, yelling "why? Why did you shoot him?! Wolfwood?", to glare up at him. Third page has ww slam Vash onto the ground, Vash looks shocked, arms around his head to protect it. Ww glares down at Vash, saying "are you really such an idiot? If I hadn't shot him, it would be you lying there." Fourth page has Wolfwood holding Vash's hand with his own handgun in it against his forehead. Wolfwood tells Vash to "SHOOT." Fifth panel has Wolfwood telling Vash that he is a chickenshit for not being able to kill him. Vash then responds by calling Wolfwood a coward.

Something that's also interesting about the righteous anger that drives og!vash, is that its specifically because of his righteous anger, that he comes very close to killing people (Monev the gale, and how he's originally in the trigun manga before trimax presumably tracking down Knives to kill him after July, to some degree the rapist in the train)--and violating his ethics. This anger--and Vash's very real possibility of him killing someone out of a feeling of righteous fury, or a feeling of just righteousness--adds further dimension to Vash as a character, because you see that he also struggles with his no kill rule, even if he staunchly stands by it. Which... without this feeling of righteous anger, it takes out Vash's dilemmas around killing others.

To summarize the above, stamp!Vash lacks the righteous anger that og!Vash has around his belief of forgiveness and second chances (of a blank ticket), and as a result fails to confront others assertively when presented with things that go against his beliefs. Stamp!Vash also lacks the emotional independence that he previously had as a result of a harsh and lonely upbringing and his travelling lifestyle and his inability to age; instead he forms an emotional dependence and connections with them. Generally, the two characters have a very different relationship with the people in the seeds ship, which makes trimax vash seem older and more mature, while Stamp!vash feels more young and naive.

Vash and Femininity

Vash as a character has always been portrayed in a somewhat feminine light; Nightow even specifically has said that he purposely designed the angel arm with feminine elements, as the act of creation is correlated to the feminine. In much the same way, plants are drawn feminine, likely to correlate to the same feminine=creation manner. Thus, his relations to the angel arm, and plants he is given a feminine slant to his character. As well, Vash is shown to be open (ie, crying in public multiple times) and shown to be (at least somewhat) emotionally competent with his emotions, as that empathy (and Rem's instructions) is the core of his belief of pacifism and no-kill policy. These emotional related traits are, well, very commonly perceived to be feminine traits. Vash is also quite pretty in a more delicate (feminine) way, especially with his teardrop mole; he's not 'ruggedly' handsome like Wolfwood, in a more traditionally 'masculine' way. As well, Vash as a character is shown to be a more passive character, as the majority of trimax and 98 has the plot occurring to Vash, rather then Vash actively seeking out and causing changes within the narrative. This passivity within the narrative also is commonly found correlated to female roles, who often aren't active agents of the narrative. This can especially be seen in comparison to active 'male' roles, such as is played out by Knives who is majorly making decisions that move the plot forward (although Knives himself has gender fuckery going on. Nightow likes gender fuckery. On a related note, I love u Elendira and I'm so sorry what they did to you in tristamp that's horrendous). This is also related to how repeatedly within trigun the issue of bodily autonomy and choice is brought up--within plants of course, but also Vash's bodily autonomy is clearly violated multiple times, such as within July, and the fifth moon incident by Knives (and this relates, and this immensely good post put it, also to Vash's insistence on not killing, which is the most ultimate form of violation of bodily autonomy). Bodily autonomy (and the lack of it) is also something deeply related to woman's issues (among others, such as general minority groups).

So overall, even within Trimax and 98, Vash is quite clearly traditionally feminine coded, as can be seen in relation to his angel arm, his emotional openness, his physical features of being 'pretty', his passivity within the narrative and his lack of bodily autonomy. However, even within these feminine traits, og!Vash still comes off as masculine; the breadth of his shoulders and triangle shaped body indicates that, as well as his righteous anger and willingness to speak up against ethical issues are typically seen as masculine traits. Within 98 and trimax he's essentially coded as a feminine-leaning man.

Stamp!Vash however, is a different can of worms. His character still carries the feminine traits as is detailed above, but as previously discussed, specifically lacks the righteous anger that gives og!Vash a backbone and a willingness to stand up for transgressions against his ethics. This further emphasis on passivity of Vash strips him of one of the defining 'masculine' traits of anger, further sliding him along the masculine-feminine spectrum to a more feminine character. As well, with the character revamp making Vash more lithe, rather then giving him broad shoulders, and his hair cut is more of a non-binary haircut vs something that could be argued to be more masculine, further effeminates him as a character. Not to mention the work he's been doing, which is being a plant engineer, specifically involves with caring for and nurturing plants--which directly correlates to a emotionally sensitive nurturing role, one which it is also correlated to a feminine role. This especially so when it's shown that this iteration of Vash is clearly emotionally sensitive too and dependant on the people from the seeds ship, another 'feminine' trait. As well, within stampedes Vash rarely fires his gun... In comparison to 98 and trimax, where you see him fire it quite frequently, to incapacitate people. Comfort with firing a gun, and just general use of a weapon is another traditionally masculine trait. Overall, Vash within Stampede is almost entirely devoid of any masculine traits and is comprised of almost all feminine traits--passive both in narrative and in character, feminine in his work, his build, his goddamn haircut, his bodily autonomy-- with basically the only thing not is that he's not canonically female.

Stamp!Vash feminization and Fandom Reception

This has quite obviously been picked up by the fandom, with many people with trans!Vash headcanons. As per my experience of generally keeping an eye on the ao3 feed, in fact, a large majority of Vashwood fanfiction is of afab trans Vash, with another majority of xeno/intersex Vash; in fact, it's a rarity to find a fic specifically detailing a non trans or intersex Vash within the newer AO3 works. Interestingly, this is quite different then the works previously found within Vashwood on AO3, pre-stamp; these works are primarily with a amab non-trans Vash. It'd be interesting to actually run the numbers, but I'm too lazy to do that. This difference I've observed within pre and post stamp I bet is a result of these changes to Vash's character, making him more feminine--and more likely to be pegged (pun intended) as a trans or intersex character, especially one that has a vagina (specifically, vaginal sex within explicit fics is a very common tag within the Vashwood ao3 feed).

Stamp!Vashwood and Yaoi Tropes

Something that has been personally mildly bugging me about the stampede vashwood is the common yaoi trope of when there are two gay characters, one needs to assume to traditionally feminine role (nurturing, emotional, passive), while the other keeps the traditionally masculine role (in charge, often unable/unwilling to express emotions ) within the relationship. As well, a popular trope within the traditionally masculine role is for the character to be tsundere, heavily leaning into the character being emotionally incompetent and just generally being a dick. This... almost too well fits the changes to both Vash and Wolfwoods characters. Stamp!Wolfwood is now squarely a tsundere and a bit of a dick, as well as dark and brooding, rather then a charming if gruff and rough around the edges character that is goofy and kind (but still dark and brooding). In the meantime, Vash is further feminized, his righteous anger replaced by passivity, fitting that role of a female character perhaps a little too well.

The rest of stampede has been heavily revamped to cater to a modern Japanese audience; this can be seen with the use of Japanese ranking systems within the Eye of Micheal that didn't exist, the stripping of a lot of Christian themes from the show, the swap to a sci-fi genre instead of western and the re-vamping of the character designs. In a similar way, revamping the characters into character types and tropes the Japanese audience is familiar with wouldn't be a stretch; and especially so tropes found within yaoi that very easily can invite shipping, if you as a director recognize the potential of Vashwood as a ship to get people invested into a show. Which, quite evidently, the director may aware of, as he's been liking copious amounts of fanart, including Vashwood. He also has a quote attributed to him about how Vash acts as both a female and male character. So, did the feminization of Vash and heavily emphasized tsundere attitude of Wolfwood come about as (at least a part of) a result of a yaoi bait ploy to get people invested into tristamp? Honestly, I don't know, but it fits the tropes so well that some parts of the stamp!vashwood rubs me the wrong way (even if I'm marinating myself within the fandom). It's especially fishy that one of the people involved with the production is liking vashwood stuff shows that people involved in making decisions for the show are aware (and even encouraging) the ship. The fandoms also been around for quite a while, so it would be easy enough to tap into the fandom to see what was popular--and what they could potentially exploit. Interestingly, the way they're setting up tristamp also leans into yaoi bait for Knives x Vash as well, heavily leaning into Knives being like 'everything I did was for you Vash' in an obvious way, which wasn't really the case with trimax... But that's another can of worms. More attention, the better I suppose.

If it's true, characters where changed for more shipping potential, does this matter really? In a grand scheme of things, no. I mean, yaoi bait is obviously utilized in many anime media, just look at Drrr! and the shizuo x izaya ship. The author is plenty aware of what they are doing and leaning hard into it, knowing its popularity, and exploiting that. So it goes. Obviously, its not necessarily a 'bad change' if they decided to change the characters partly for shipping; that's something people get to decide for themselves. Besides, this new iteration of trigun with a more feminine Vash allows for a heavier emphasis on bodily autonomy, especially in regards to femininity as that one post linked above goes into. However, that said, does it matter to me, who is chewing through drywall thinking about the complexities of Wolfwood and Vash and their relationship in trimax? Yeah, absolutely. A little more on that below.

Personal opinions on everything above

If you don't want to read me griping on personally about tristamp then you can just skip this section. It's just me being boring and predictable.

Personally, I miss the og versions of Wolfwood and Vash; I miss the righteous anger that Vash has, I miss their designs and big shoulders and Wolfwoods goofiness and kindness. As well, as much as I love the trans headcanons that are coming out of stampede, as a masc leaning NB individual I really enjoyed the masculine but also emotionally sensitive version of Vash. This especially so as a part of me feels uncomfortable that people look at a male character that is essentially fulfilling a feminine role and go, oh, he's an afab transman, specifically because of his close connotations with femininity. Like, fuck gender expectations and norms and all that, but for me I'm a bit uncomfortable with that assertion (btw this is not me being like u guys need to stop--we're all allowed our opinions, and y'all seem to be enjoying yourself, so go ham I guess). Also, just personally, I've never particularly identified with feminine characters, especially passive female characters, which stamp!Vash very much feels like.

Perhaps part of it is also that I relate a great amount to og!Vash's righteous anger over everything that is occurring, being a part of a cultural minority myself, and being so terribly angry over how I've seen my people be treated. I've also got an abusive sibling with anger issues that lashes out, so seeing Vash struggle with his relationship with Knives, being so terribly angry over everything Knives has put him through (technically, more about others then himself but I digress), along with his confusion and dilemma over still caring about and loving his sibling is also so very validating. So stripping that underlying righteous anger about everything to just make him sad™ makes him less relatable to me. Where is your anger over everything??? where is it?? Come on man, bare your teeth to the world.

Maybe also part of it is also related to just... acknowledging that male characters can be kind. This is probably related to why I dislike that ww has just become a tsundere and kind of a dick. Give him his friendly charisma and kindness back u cowards, I'll beat you with a stick. Dark brooding tsundere's are dime a dozen! Rough around the edges and dangerous but still kind and a bit silly and friendly men who are riddled with guilt? Shiningly beautiful.

Overall, all meta analysis and conspiracy theories (character flattening of wolfwood and vash to fit yaoi tropes) aside, I guess what I'm trying to say is that my 🔥 spicy 🔥 trigun/vashwood opinion is that I don't particularly like this very heavily feminized version of Vash which the fandom seems to be quite happily enjoying. This is both because his righteous anger is stripped out which I relate too and that I (masc NB) feel somewhat uncomfortable that he's often considered a afab transman due to specifically his feminine traits.

EDIT (MAR 27): a post script with further thoughts I suppose, especially after reading this post by @paiteyy , which describes the stripping of more canonical queerness within Stampede--and the way specifically that Meryl seems to be given some of Wolfwoods roles from trimax, in relation to likely making her stampedes 'canonical' ship... in comparison to how trimax Wolfwood and Vash spend a majority of the time together and form deep emotional connections. If they are rearranging tristamp to further cement Meryl into a heavier role of love interest, then it would make sense for her to take over some of Wolfwoods actions. This also falls in line with how they've gone out of their way to give Meryl a bigger backstory and create conditions for character growth... while simultaneously simplifying many of the other characters, especially Wolfwood. Interestingly, this actually falls in line with the tristamp creators being very invested and shuffling things around to fit shipping tropes to rope in a bigger audience; by moving Meryl to the front they can get a canonical het ship for the general audience (much like the 98 version did in a way--cause clearly every show the mc needs a clear love interest), while also ensuring to lean into sub-textual yaoi tropes to rope in others which would be interested in queer ships.

Also photo ID's were added :D

PLUS: here's the link to more of my meta posts if you liked this.

#trigun #trigun meta #trimax #tristamp #trigun manga #trigun maximum #trigun 98 #wolfwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #opinion peice aha #hugin rambles #hugin speaks #vashwood #yeah its definitely leaning into vash's already present femininity but also. dont like #trigun vash #trigun comparison #theres a few posts about that have definitely helped me coalesce my thoughts #i see u the post about vash's anger #also to the one person that made a comment on the vashwood discord server im in about yaoi tropes. u were the one that really sparked #the coalescing of this thoughts into something more tangible #also yes im aware that tristamp is a prolouge in a way. will they fix the characterization #nah i dont think so #me: do i wanna write up something people might not like. ahhhhh SURE why not #to my two friends ive already talked the ear off about this who didn't know shit what i was talking about i dedicate this post to u #also yeah yeah im aware trimax is not all of the trigun manga but look. look. i dont eant to write out trimanga or some shit. trimax is #fast. easy. perfect for my lazy lil ass #me: am i gonna actually verify my observations like a good person who talks about meta?#my lazy ass: nah this is fine actually. secondary sources only baby!!!#god why is this. so long

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ryuichirou · 5 months

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Happy Sunday~ Here are today’s replies.

anxiously-sidequesting asked:

HIIII I haven't said anything in a while but I wanted to say I LOVE YOUR TWST ART (well all of your art actually)!!!!! It's very chef's kiss 🤌🏾 and I hope you have a good day ❤️

Ahh thank you so much!!! <3 This is so sweet of you, I’m very happy to hear that!

Anonymous asked:

🤖👑

Hey! It’s the OruVil shipper! Don’t worry this ask doesn’t need to be answered but I just thought I’d let you know after all these years (I last had a major active blog in around 2011-13 WOW) I’ve actually started one and it’s thanks to you!

I’m over on WrithingDepth shooting out my twst HC’s and little one shots, I’ve yet to drop any OruVil and the blog is pretty new but I’m an older tumblr user with a full time job and nice anon lifestyle so if you guys ever just wanna hmu for a chat me and partner spend a lot of time discussing HCs and world building as well!

I’ll most likely link up the OruVil fic eventually there too.

Have a great day!

After some thinking I decided to actually post this ask for anyone who could be interested to read your work. Anything Ortho-related is so underappreciated, and after the discussion we had via asks a couple of weeks ago, I think it’s only fair to share in this specific case.

I am very excited to hear it whenever people get inspired to create unapologetically self-indulgent content. I honestly think this is one of the most important things one could do creativity-wise, and having people to share this self-indulgence with is truly amazing. Thank you so much for sharing with us <3

furubatsu asked:

I feel like you may have answered this before, but if so I can't find it. Also I'm a sloppy whore for the childhood friends to lovers pipeline SO!

Thoughts on Jack/Vil? While I agree Vil probably lost his virginity to Rook I can see these two being eachothers first Kisses (for "practice" reasons, of course) and maybe even awakenings? I love your analysises so I'm really curious about your take on these two.

HONESTLY? A GOOD PIPELINE!

We do have one post about Jack/Vil, and it’s a hc post, but it’s 8 months old oops. But I still stand by everything I’ve said there lol so you can check it out of you haven’t already.

Jack and Vil could easily be each other’s first crushes, and honestly a handsome polite boy who doesn’t even watch TV is probably the best candidate for a young star that is Vil to have a first attempt at kissing with. It would also be a nice contrast to their other first time, because even though they were on the same page when they were younger, now Vil is the more experienced one of the two, and he’s probably going to enjoy guiding Jack as they do it. Well, if Jack gets overwhelmed, horned up and feral, there won’t be much guidance going on, but in theory lol I feel like Vil is the “oneesan” type partner in this ship.

Anonymous asked:

My only reason to genderbend twst is that it's literally an excuse for Riddle always end up into someone's plsuh chest (same could be said for Idia and all the tiny chest gorlies)

Honestly no other reasons are needed lol this one is good enough. It’s like big boobs just keep following Riddle everywhere, they torment her, they abuse her, they suffocate her… or maybe it’s all in her head? What if she is just way too obsessed with it? And yes, being literally suffocated by Floyd’s chest has absolutely nothing to do with it lol

And Idia constantly gets to feel like a vn protagonist, but the vn itself is very cursed. Where are all the nice ladies, why is everyone so dangerous and scary?? Delete the game and get a refund ASAP-

(Meanwhile Lilia’s out there just… hunting…)

#replies #jackvil #genderswap

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misc-obeyme · 6 months

Note

CC 😭😭😭 lesson 30 was a rollercoaster huh. Tbh as a Beel lover, I wasn’t happy w how Belphie was acting here. I asked Beel what he thought of the Angel's Trial and Belphie just cuts him off!! And he made Beel sad and that is unacceptable to me 😤 (he says not to make him mad but no spoilers for og lesson 16 could make me choose not to be a petty bitch when I can) Beel is his own person and too sweet for this shit

Telling Sol his cooking sucks was :((( 0/10 I would've gently reminded him ratios are important especially in baking and just make sure he's not putting anything inedible in there. Or tell him to focus his creativity solely on the plating/presentation bc you eat w your eyes too or smt idk

I kinda found it funny when Sim basically told Luke he was an ugly crier. Poor baby, I hope the egg grants him that wish

I get this was setup for Levi's Little D arc but teasing the truth again makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. I know Lucifer suspects smt abt us. We know Barb knows something

Speaking of Barb, I choose to believe that the Little Ds are gonna be important later and that Beel did eat Number 6 but Barb uh, made sure that didn't happen actually

AHH anon, this lesson KILLED ME. I'm so sorry to everyone who had to read the unhinged post I wrote last night lol.

Okay, see, I was so wrapped up in the Solomon debacle that I forgot about the whole Beel & Belphie thing.

I get that Belphie is being protective, but I also felt like he wasn't really taking Beel's feelings into consideration! I think there's a fine line between being protective and being controlling. And Belphie was right on the edge of that line, imo. When you're being protective to the point that you're ignoring the needs of the person you're supposedly protecting well... it kinda defeats the purpose there, buddy.

I wonder if they're going to kind of expand on that at some point. Have the twins hash it out with each other. Because I think Belphie isn't normally like this, but I think he's still wary of humans. And his concern is overriding his usual consideration of Beel's feelings.

OKAY LET'S TALK SOLOMON AGAIN.

Listen, I've had a little time to calm down, but I am still UPSET.

Now, of course, it's best to remember that this is fiction and nothing in fiction happens the way it would irl. BUT if I had a friend (or romantic interest/boyfriend/etc) who really enjoyed cooking, but for some reason always made gross food, I probably wouldn't lie to them directly. I would do exactly as you suggest, gently remind them of how to follow a recipe and so on. I can't imagine that Solomon has spent all his life trying to learn how to cook and somehow keeps screwing it up? Like considering how much he does it, he should be getting better at it?

And apparently someone told him his cooking tasted bad in season 3 of the OG, but I don't remember that lol. If it's in the hard lessons, that's why I don't remember... I haven't actually finished all the hard lessons of the OG... oops I keep forgetting they exist my bad.

Anyway, my point here is that it doesn't make sense that someone doing something they enjoy all the time wouldn't get better at what they're doing at some point. I get that this is fictional and maybe they have a reason for it, but they need to tell us what it is because I can't take HIS SAD FACE. Normally I'd be like listen sometimes you gotta be honest or whatever, but not like this!! I would've been like what exactly did you do to make the cake taste this way, let's figure it out together... I would help him, not just be all sorry this is gross and leave it at that!

Sorry sorry I'm ranting again. I just love that silly sorcerer so much and his reaction just made me so sad.

I'm so curious about what Luke is finally gonna wish for lol. I feel like Simeon teases him the most out of everybody, he's just so chill and nice about it that it doesn't register as teasing.

I just don't understand why hiding the egg's existence was a good lie while telling Solomon his cake was good wasn't??? Ugh my heart.

AND OH YES LEVI.

I was very upset about that, too!! Like, no you don't understand!! I do need to leave, but I need to get back to you!!

I want to go back, but I don't want to go back! The stress of this is getting to me. Can we please hurry up and be done with this timeline nonsense?! Barb definitely knows something. I just want him to fix things! I think I'd have confronted him about it by now. I don't care what Sol says about not telling people we're from the future, I'd be like Barbatos, my true love, I know you already know, so let's hear it!! What is going on!?!?

I definitely think the Little Ds are going to be important later, too! Something about the fairies seems like it's going to matter as well, but I'm not entirely sure how yet.

Oh no poor Number 6! Even if Barb saved him, I would think being eaten would be rather traumatic lol.

#sorry I kinda devolved into rantings again #I'm still not over this lesson it seems #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me leviathan #anon asks #misc answers

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pawseds · 1 month

Text

I convinced our Delta Green game master to have a play-by-post (basically text roleplay) section in our game's server and uhhhhh maybe I've been having too much fun with it. Writing is faster than drawing comics, what can I say?

(Long ramble about writing stories below hehe oops)

While we're here! A bit about writing: I like writing! I've written for loger than I've drawn for (because school). I think I'm better at writing than drawing for that reason (I'm more confident at least). I've written short stories. I've written short stories about TTRPG things. I've also written a ~100k word novel by hand for 2 years. While writing it, I had 'writing class' (technically AS/A level Ennglish Language classes). It was the only class I had confidence in and high expectations for.

With those 2 combined, I burnt out pretty quick LOL. Specifically, I had a big perfectionism issue because of the high expectations I had from my teacher and especially myself -- it was the one thing I knew excelled at in school, so I better do it well! After I was done with the novel and A levels, I was supposed to edit the novel. It's been years and I haven't done it yet, and I wouldn't write non-assignment stories (except 2) until now. Writing became more nerverwracking than it was fun, so why would I?

To get back to the PBP thing: I've been in a campaign that was fully PBP. With my mindset being the way it is, hey! This is just one big writing exercise, so I ran along with that and had fun with it. I saw how some players would make their own PBP and essentially monologue/have a scene only with their PC. That was cool to see.

And now, my current Delta Green campaign (tagged 'Helvetia'). Hrothgar (guy in drawing) and his kids were ported over from a previous D&D campaign (the fully PBP one!), so the crew had a very well defined background already. Of course I get tons of drawing ideas for them, except I don't have the time to draw them all (compsci hard). But since the server has a PBP section, I had like 2 weeks to kill between session 0 and 1, and I was bursting with ideas... I made a lot of solo PBPs that were essentially short stories.

It didn't quite hit me until some time ago, but the PBPs actually made me enjoy writing again -- enjoy it a lot more, in fact! I think the format of Discord threads and messages removed most perfectionism tendencies I had. I just had to fire the story away, message by message. It didn't have to be amazing, and it was fun! (Also I really don't know how to shut up with them LOL)

I'll definitely be cleaning these PBPs up and posting them here as stories. Some of them are just silly, fun, slice-of-life character sketches. (These were the stories I wrote after my novel... and yes, they were about my other set of Delta Green characters LMAO) (and I've posted them here under pawsedswrite btw!) But some I see as legitamite short stories that I would edit more heavily and present as a short story. They were the kinds I could see myself writing on a document rather than on Discord.

Well, I lied. 'I would edit' is false. I have already edited one, because I spent like 5-6h writing this one PBP (oops) instead of writing the draft for my short story class/elective (oops 2). I joked to my two friends saying that I could just submit it as my assignment. Apparently, they both really liked it and said the dialogued slapped. So I did!

I procrastinated like hell on it though, because I was very nervous to go back into the PBP with an axe to edit it. Being in a writing class where nearly everyone else has been formally studying writing for some years kinda puts some pressure on ya!

Like the last assignment (which I'll post here after editing), I had a lot of worries. But the feedback and grade I got from my last assignment, the peer review I got from the current one, and also the support from those two friends (shoutout @katastrofish <3) made me feel more confident in myself. And also the fact that I had a lot of fun editing the PBP!

Uhhh this ramble was way longer than expected LMFAO if you've made it this far, damn, thanks for reading! If you also write or have similar experiences, feel free to share em. And have a good day!

(bonus POV editing)

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shutupheathersorryheatherr · 8 months

Text

“Glad you’re here”

Summery: Kevin needs some comfort one day and you reassure him. a long chat right next to you is just what he knows he needed. thats great, but somehow it leads to him in your bed and your mouth on his. you know... cause you know... you really wanna make sure he knows his worth and how much you love every part of him. oops I guess approximately a 40 min read

a/n: idk what this is man. Tumblr wouldn't let me post a longer than like two sentence post and so it's a little late. I had a dream about something like this happening like months back and now it's finally come to life! or.... not really to life but life enough lol I told one of my moots on here about the dream and she said "that's perfect fic inspo" so here we are. at this point I can't remember if the smut part was in my dream but oh well I aint complaining. I don't know if this is any good cause I haven't written smut in a minute but pleas enjoy and let me know if y'all have any hard thots or future fic suggestions. (it was so exiting when I got my first request you have no idea I felt like real writer who people actually enjoy content from and not much could top that feeling ya know) I probably won't get to them for a month lmao but still id love to hear them!

warnings/info: cursing, Kevin had a bad week, comfort, reader and Kevin’s type of relationship is never specified in this fic if that’s makes sense, kissing, smut, low key body worship, like a little bit toward Kevin from reader, oral sex (reader receiving), also Kevin fingers reader, reader is afab when it comes to smut but is gn otherwise, mentions of having to go get a condom but no sex is described, think that’s it! misspelled words and incoherentness im sure, ill fix them soon, Pls lemme know if there’s anything these

THIS IS SMUT SO MINORS DNI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD HAVE AN AGE INDICATOR IN YOUR BLOG SAYING YOURE NOT A MINOR SO I DONT HAVE TO BLOCK YOU! ID HATE TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO DOESNT NEED TO BE BLOCKED thx

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in no way meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

••••••••••••••••••••

a familiar knock on your door brings you out of the daze you once were in. For once you weren’t doing anything. Comfort flowing through your veins as you relaxed. You weren’t expecting anyone…. You glance at your phone to see Kevin’s profile picture pop up. A candid photo you took of him while he was laughing at something or the other on a Ferris wheel when you two were just friends. The message simply said “hey it’s me” weirdly dry and weirdly simple coming from him. but your heart still leaped for joy out of you chest when you read it. Somehow more peacefulness coming over you as you walked to let him in, though you were scared something was wrong.

you swing open the front door, still halfway looking at your phone. I mean, if you had a cute picture of him that was at your disposal at all times in your phone, you'd be looking at it still too. it was one of those pictures were only you could see. something for your eyes only... that sentiment seemed to be a running theme in your relationship. not that you minded, though. you welcomed it. relished in the feeling of being so damn close to him.

you don't even get to let out a word before his arms are around you, his head is in your stomach, and his heavy breath his flattening out your shirts wrinkles. he's on his knees as first but when he gets up you stumble backward further into your place, shutting the door with your foot. he steps back, half to regain his composer he lost the second he saw you worried about him, and half because he realized he was probably too forward. he kicks off his shoes and before you know it you can hear little quiet sniffs coming from the man.

"you good?" you ask, even though you knew that he wasn't.

he peels his face off your shirt as you tuck your phone into your back pocket so as to not have any distractions. you wanted, no needed to be fully there right now. completely zeroed in on him and whatever he needed. In a flash it was like a full 360 realization came onto Kevin. In a flash he's pulling away from you and trying to compose himself. "God, im sorry. I-I didn't mean for my visit to turn out like this." he just wanted to see your face, talk a little bit, not to break down the second he saw you. His eyes dart around as he plays with his own fingers.

You take his hand, guiding him to sit down where you previously were. and god does he really want to scoot himself as close as physically possible to you. but he doesn't want to come off too strong, or like he was needy or anything. but now he's sitting here in arms reach of you and he's nearly screaming inside for you to pull him closer. "Don't be sorry. I’m glad you’re here.” you tell him, softly but firmly. it was more than that thought, and he took the opportunity you'd given him to tell you why he was upset. "I dunno, it wasn't one big thing or anything. but sometimes... sometimes I feel like im too much, you know? or that im not doing enough all at once. But hat probably doesn't make any sense though. kinda stupid, right?" your eyebrows creased together like you were asking what the hell he meant.

Over the course of the better part of an hour he tried so so so damn hard to explain to you what he was feeling and why he thought his entire body felt like it was aching because of it. You listened for a while until you got up to bring the both of you a snack cause he looked a little hungry. he wanted to stay close to you, though, so he followed you to where you kept your snacks and back. and though he was siglent on your short walk, you could almost feel the heaviness that was within him. it seemed to seep through his pores and straight into the air. but you still listened to him, trying to put in what you thought when he needed it.

through broken sobs and quivering lips he had to bite to stop from betraying himself and what he was feeling, he stoped abruptly. "...Like right now." he said simply. "What do you mean?" You prompted. "Are you..." he needed to collect his thoughts and pick himself up, now. "Are you embarrassed of me?" You crained your neck forward, as if you somehow hadn't heard him properly and your ears had tricked you into thinking he had said what you thought he had. "um excuse me? yeah, im gonna need an explanation." you chuckled. and he couldn't help but smile along with your slight laughter. it was infectious. he didn't know why but it seemed like whatever you where feeling he started to as well.

"So far you've spent at least thirty minutes here with men trying to help me." you said. but you still weren't understanding. that was just something you'd do for him. as he'd readily do for you. it came as sedan nature to the both of you and you liked it that way. how you both were so close that either of you could just drop whatever you were doing and help the other. "Does that not seem bad to you?" you simply shook her head. "I had a dream that you were embarrassed of me and how...." he searched for the right words, "you know, needy I can get. And I know it was just s stupid dream, ok? But then I actually started thinking about it." scenes flashed through his mind, burried deep into his heart of all the times you've cared for him. whenever he's feeling insecure and he either came to you about it, or you noticed it, you helped him out of his rut. All the times he's felt sick you've rubbed his back and brought him a cold compress and Vix vapor rub. and sure, he's done these things for you as well... but right now it seemed like he was all the work and you just had to pick up his pieces.

he hated the feeling of causing you so much trouble. and he knew what you would say, too. that "oh no you're not. you need to stop thinking that way about yourself." and he knew it did. he really did know that. but what he also knew was who it seemed like he was acting. no, how he was acting. he wasn't coming to you for every single little thing but sometimes it felt too close to it for his comfort. and not only thing, but, though he knows how you've told him a million times that he's welcome and encouraged to talk things out with you or even just ask for some comfort, he's also well aware how much he's been doing it this past month.

How was it not driving you nuts already? it was sure making him pace around his living room thinking and hoping that you weren't mad at him for it. And he had tried to hold out, ok? he really did today. But then he started thinking about how you probably felt a little suffocated by his latest actions and how it portably looked to outsiders and it made him get all up in his head and that made him only want to come over more. eventually, though, he broke and now here he was feeling bad about even being here.

"you look guilty." you note. "that's cause I am." he admitted, "im sorry that its probably a little weird me coming over like this. or at least me calling you for like an hour because of these things." he swallows thickly, looking at his swinging feet, unable to stop their moving by the floor. you were about to say something but he grasped your hand, blinking a few times and you know you should just let him talk for now. "Is this not embarrassing to you? like, when you talk to people how the hell do you even mention me doing this? I wouldn't blame you if you don't.... you just, seem so happy even when im acting like an actual wreck and y-youre not tired of it? or ashamed? or--" you pull him into your chest, leaning back and bit and letting him fall into a half laying down position, wanting him to be more relaxed.

"you do this for me too, you know?"

"Yeah, but im not the now showing up and the others door like a mess right now. making you take time out of--"

"yeah, but..." you trail off for a moment as he lifts his head up to look you in the eyes. His dark soft hair is sticking up, almost comically, from you pulling at his. more massaging his scalp than anything though, but by the way you gently tugged at his strands he seemed to melt into you easier. "that's what the both of us are here for, no?" you feel him nod into your chest and your small laughter from it causes a vibration to go through your upper chest where he lays his head and into it. you take a deep breath, spurring him to do the same. and for some reason, it really calmed him. air filling his lungs along with you, it felt-- at least to him, that it connected the two of you. releasing, but really it felt like releasing all the negitivity and heaviness that weighed him down. stuck to him like a sickness, and felt like a glue on his lungs that made it hard to breath.

but now, with a clearer head, he listened to you. listened when you said there was no place you'd rather be than with him right now. listened when you told him that no, he's not embarrassing just because he has feelings and lets them out. and he even listened when you told him you're proud of him for still coming to you to talk it out. you wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs and ran your hands through his hair so much it stuck up almost like from electricity. and among talking about other things, the day grew along side the both of you and your chatting. eventually his mind was eased and now taken off of what was bothering him.

===

He wondered how you could even do that, as he lay practically on top of you, wanting to fuse your skin together if he could just to get impossibly closer.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, “please. I-I I really need you closer” you look down at your bodies practically fused together, him basically on top of you, chest to chest and his warm nose, reddening from crying pressed into the crook of your neck. Puffs of air from his heavy breaths tickle your skin and you can’t help but smile as you pull him closer. “We’re already so close, Kev” but really, you knew what he meant. You felt it, too. His hardening dick pressing against your thigh. You could tell he’s trying to be inconspicuous about it, scooting away but you just pull him closer, fingers slicking around his back, thumb padding against his spine.

but you can feel him shiver against you. and not in the typical "I feel so good im practicluy purring" type of way. "You cold?" You ask. Though you know he wasn’t. The sound of him moving further on top of you come to your ears before his voice does. “You made me feel so good.” His face presses further into you neck, pressing a kiss into your rapid pulse. “I wanna make you feel good too… that ok?” You didn’t even need think about it before you nod.

a second later you're in your bed and he's laying on top of you just like before.

He keeps kissing at your neck. the pecks getting longer and more sloppy as the hand ticks on the clock, the only other soul in the room with you. he pulls you up with him so he can circle his hands around your back as yours travel under his shirt, riding it up and feeling his bare skin like it was second nature to you, but exploring like it was new to you all the while. a small smile graced his face and pulls his lips upwards ad he closes his eyes and just feels. feels your fingers on him and relishes it. his lips detach from your neck when he feels you on his lower abdomen. god he really looses his focus too quickly.

But how could he not with you, you and all your splendid glory right in front of him, feeling him up and now slipping your hands underneath the waistband of his pants, making him see stars when you start rubbing his hip bones. it made him get all tangled up in the moment it doesn't even register how you start laying him down. and at this point he doesn't really care as you capture his lips in a searing kiss that leaves the both of you feeling woozy. "open your eyes." you purswade gently. he does so, only for him to tug at the hem of your shirt. "Please," he sounds way too whiney and out of breath for the little that you have done, but he can't help it, getting a little ovewelmed by the thought and look of you, "I need more." you sit up on him, legs swung over either side of him and already dripping heat right above his.

You toss your shirt to the side and within a millisecond he's pulling you back down to him, wanting and needing to feel you on him. your chest presses against his and even though you're still wearing a bra he feels like he's in heaven. and "more" is what you start to give him; kissing down his body and telling him everything you love about him. starting with his shoulders, "you carry so much weight, mediforecly but still. Iove that bout you; how you're so willing to help shoulder a burden." you look up at him for a second, taking a break from just mumbling against his skin, "It also helps how they're so nice looking too. Gorgeous." you move to his chest, "I love you chest, know why?" he shakes his head, "its where one of the few biggest hearts I know is kept." you kiss right by where his heart is, hearing it beat rapidly under his burning hot skin. you go a bit further down his torso to his lungs, "these help you take deep breaths to calm down. im happy when you're calm so I love them." his eyes squint in a smile form your words

but suddenly he realizes as you start to kiss your way further down that-- “This is supposed to be about me making you feel good.” He pulls you up to his lips into a searing kiss that your body can't help but freeze in place from. his hips snap up into yours and you let out a surprised groan from the feeling. the pants you were wearing were thin, but still too much of a barrier from him. he stays underneath you, but now he's a bit more in control, wanting to make you feel above and beyond the love and want and all around good feeling you made him have all up until a moment ago. he sits up and his hands brush up and down your bare back, landing at your hips and keeping them there.

he just wants more. more more more until the both of you bursts. his mouth moves against yours in a way that made you think he was a dream. he sensed it too. and he only wanted to build on that feeling. he moves down to your collarbone and he has to tare himself away so as to not leave a hicky. he has to suppress a loud moan when you start moving your hips on him, grinding on his dick. he grips your hips tighter, thumbs pressing into your sides and the both of you parting lips just for a minute to look deep into each others eyes. he's knows that stare on you, though. a look of longing he wants noting more than to satisfy.

His hand hand travels down your torso to palm your throbbing core needing attention. the heel of his palm rubbing at your clit while his lingers work on your interance. even through the clothes you can't help but sigh in pleasure from his actions. Eventually you just can't take it anymore and you start humping his hand, wanting to realize but also not wanting to peel yourself away for more than a moment to take off your bottoms. under you, Kevin, hard as ever now, let out a whine into your mouth at your lust for him. it seemed like you no only had one thing on your mind and he loved it, chased after that need you felt and tried to expound on it.

you break away from him a moment later though cause, fuck this really isn't getting me anywhere. And help him tug his shirt up and over his head he complies it in his hand and puts it to the side to be long forgotten as you link your hands behind his neck and lean back with him as he chases your lips. he smiles into the kiss and it makes you do the same; a quite moment that wasn't ruined by him gently pulling at the waist band of your bottoms in question and you nodding against him. "oh yes please," you breath out, almost relieved, "I have to have you. thought you'd never ask." your tilt your head back, though you're not quite sure what for until he plants another open mouthed kiss on your sweet spot and you feel like blushing and moaning at the same time.

"Me too," he admits In your ear almost as a whisper, a secret only the two of you were able to share. "I wan-- need you closer." his fingers dance down, down, down, until he finds the wet patch you've made on your underwear. God he fucking needs it on his face, tasting you, smelling you, feeling you around him. better yet, why not get it straight from the source? damn it now he needs you on his face too. all the while he's rubbing you just how he knows youll shiver with pleasure and writhe on top of him, you're eyes are closed. and now thinking of it... and wanting you to know about it, makes him get a little bit bolder. "eyes on me, darling," he mimicked what you had said to him earlier. except this one was less commanding. he starts rubbing faster on your clit, making you pull him closer.

he can't take it anymore; with his free hand he begins to palm himself over his pants "I need you to see how you make me feel." you open your eyes to see the erotic sight right in front of you. his head thrown back and stroking himself over his sweats. you can tell he doesn't know what to make or do with himself. and to be completely honestly neither do you. his tongue is poking out to wet his lips as a high pitched keen meets your ears.

He feels like he really does need to-- need to show you how hard you make him. how else is he supposed to help you to understand all that he wants you to right now? You scoot his hand out of the way and replace it with your own "do I get you like this?" he presses his lips together and nods, barely able to form words with your hand moving on him now. "mmhm only you." the confession made you smile but you weren't able to continue the moment when he shifts so that you drop your hand and lay down further. "remember? you." he chuckles. he returns his hands to your heat, you tugging down your bottoms in the process.

Now that he sees you clad in just your underwear and bra, he can't help but crawl back up to eye level and give a quick peck to your lips. it was too fucking sweet to describe. with a cute smile pulling at his lips, he backs up and his fingers return to pleasure you. your underwear was sticking to your pussy uncomfortably now, wet patch now more visible. and as much as he wanted to tease you more, he also knew what you needed. he rolls down your underwear just as he would any other time. that was one of the things you loved about him, you thought as he dips his fingers into your wetness, testing the waters. you didn't know he was going to come over, you deffintly didn't know that it was going to turn into this. it wasnt like you wore anything special and dressed up, but he still loved it all. noticed was amiss, noting changed.

that was one of the reasons why you didn't mind having to spend so much time comforting him. cause he does the same for you an no matter if you dressed up or not he still gave you what you needed, not just sexually but in general. so of course you'd treat him the same way.

You make a sound of pleasure and now he's hooked, chasing more form you. dropping his entire body down further, he comes face to face with your glistening cunt. the fact that he made you like this-- god can barely think because of it. he takes an experimental lick up your folds and holds his tongue at your clit, putting hot, wet, and steady pressure on it. the muscle moves a bit more, kitten licking at your hole, sucking at your clit, and doing all the things that makes you wanna combust.

his tongue goes in and out, poking inside your gummy walls. and he feels like he's in heaven with you right now. He can barely handle it as he feels you clench around noting and you whisper out his name over and over again, pulling at his hair, tighter than before, bringing him impossibly closer. he grasps your hips to pull your up and even closer. the new angle hitting just right you can't help my moan. "fuck-- I-- I need--" you don't even know what you need at this point you just want more of this, more of him. He's eating you like a starved man, already drunk on how you taste on his tongue, wanting more.

While his tongue works on in between your folds his nose is getting wet bumping at your clit. His hands on your hips makes it perfect to grind on his face. but he doesn't mind, invites it, actually. He just holds out his tongue and lets you grind your way dangerously close to your high. He starts to move along with you, matching your movements as his dick twitches in his pants. the added pressure is just what you needed to go over the edge. you start to slow your movements on him, him picking up the pace so to help you ride it out. his hips rock into the mattress, wanting and needing to feel more. you're sounds proving to be too much without himself feeling something. You're moaning and groaning and whining along with him against you as you feel pure euphoria rush through you like a wave of perfection.

You try to even out your breath as he rubs at your hip bones, sitting up to keep himself from grinding on the bed, he can already tell he's not gonna last long enough to have you later too. "You--" you don't even know what to say as he brings you up with him, you know sitting on his thigh and you don't know if you can take it anymore. neither can he, seeing you cum-- it took everything in him not to follow along with you. he can't help but thrust his hardness up, barely feeling you in the end but he needs something, anything. just the thought of himself feeling your slick on his cock. that's all he needs, really; your wetness on him. he just needs to feel it. so he keeps going, angling his thrusts towards your pussy. he fucks himself into you, needing to feel you on him.

he locks his lips on yours as you rut yourself on his thigh. your fingers that were in his hair unties his pants and inches them down enough so that he get thrust up, getting his tip wet through one less layer. The feeling makes him press his lips harder on yours. he whines into your mouth and you don think you've ever heard a sound prettier. his hands are griping your hips, traveling to your back to bring you closer. you're grinding on his thigh as he tries to grind onto yours, the slick that travailed down your thigh making it easy to slide, rubbing up and down, his mind blank.

he's almost looses sight again with his lips moving in sync with yours. He breaks the kiss to watch his own hand go down to capture your release on them, fucking it back into you when you urge him to hurry up. he curls his fingers right where you want him to, pumping them in and out at the same pace he was thrusting into your thigh. you had just came so the feeling was ten times stronger than before. He senses what you're feeling and pecks your lips one more time before driving his fingers back into your heat. "give me one more? please I know you can." he nearly pleads with you.

You hump his palm, chasing your own high. a slow and intimate grind but enough to get you what you want and need. he feels woozy because of the feeling of your cream lathering up his fingers and forming a ring around the base, now dripping onto his palm as he watches his fingers roll in and out. a moment later and you're releasing all over his hand, his whining while he humps your leg taking it to a whole new level as you moan out in pleasure. and now he's rubbing the slick you've given him back into your pussy

your lips are back on his in an instant, unable to stay away for long after the leg shaking orgasm he gave you. he looks down at his boner. not realizing he had cum along with your with his release making a wet patch all on the front of his boxers. "you're still hard?" you chuckle. "For you? always." he smiles, more of a smirk than anything, back at you. breathing heavy and labored and eyes squinted.

"Do you have a condom?" he asks, half actually asking and half wondering aloud if you wanted to go any further, "I don't think I can keep on seeing you look so perfect without doing anything about it any longer." he wonders if he's even making sense. but when you peck his lips and reach over to your nightstand. he freezes, but he's back to life in a second when you turn to him with one.

“aren’t you glad you’re here?” You laugh, “you get to share you feelings and we get to have each other.”

He’s sure the way you said it must be a joke I’m some way but yeah, he's really glad he came over.

~end~

please leave a comment or reblog if you enjoyed!!

taglist: @itz-yerin

©️2023copyrightofshutupheathersorryheatherr do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works even if you give me credit

#kevin moon smut #kevin moon x reader #the boyz kevin #tbz kevin #kevin moon #kevin moon fluff #ghosts writing #im realizing now that I forgot which of the five million blogs yerin has she wanted me to tag

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chenfordspiral · 1 month

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43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? Mh, probably the two I got that turned into this 4x18 AU. It’s honestly one of my favorites I’ve written, and interestingly enough, when I reread it a while back, it felt so foreign because I could barely remember even writing it. But that was fun because it was like I was reading it from an “outsider” POV, if that makes sense. There's two more that I love, as said here, but for once I made a decision and will stick with it. @escapismqueen could fill a book about me and my indecisiveness, and I hope she's proud of me for choosing only one here.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? Mh, I don’t think I’ve actually gotten many dialogue ones yet, at least not ones that I can remember right off the bat so I’ll say scenario/narrative prompts.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Oy, this is tough because it often feels like I haven't improved at all? I do like to think I've broadened my vocabulary (also thanks to reading so many fics), but I'm not sure if that makes it onto the page. Maybe I'm less terrified of hitting that post button now than I was a year ago and trust myself more to pull something off that maybe I would've shied away from before. The better question for me would be "what have you not improved on?" lol

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I can honestly say that I don’t know the last one I read, it’s been that long. I’ve got about – and no, I’m not joking – 200 AO3 tabs open on my phone with fics I want to read or need to catch up on. Wait! I do know which one! I re-read this one here from Tara because it was the first that came to mind for the chenford fanfic quotes blog. And yes, I absolutely, 100000% recommend it!!!

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! Already answered here, but: aside from Little bit of Love, I’m also always (and by that I mean every day) trying to weave my way through an AU that I’ve been working on for… welp, almost a year. Here’s a tiny little sneak peek from what will likely be the first or second chapter. It’s still a long, loooong way from seeing the light of day, though.

“Geez, Tim. Way to be positive,” Angela sighs. “She won’t like you a whole lot either with that attitude.” “Great, so case closed. We’re not doing this,” he says and starts to get up from his place opposite of her. “Tim,” she whines and grabs a hold of his arm to keep him from leaving. “Come on. What could it hurt? Just one date. You can see how it goes, and if it’s absolutely horrible and you sit there in silence for two hours, you can go home and call and yell at me for being wrong.” “Lopez.” “Timothy.” “Stop calling me that.” “Stop being stubborn.”

Oops, forgot 50 🤦🏼‍♀️ 50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! All I can say is that I love this amazing community on here. The last few months in particular have been so much fun, and I love engaging with you all here. It genuinely feels like a home and I'm so grateful to get to be a part of it.

Thank youuu 🫶🏻

#asked and answered #ask games #thisnightissparkling089

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lazy-b1rdy · 2 months

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do you have any specific headcanons for them/ does their version of the parable have any differences from the original game one?

Thanks for the question!!

I mostly try to keep somethings cannon but i really love adding my own little things that give me the urge to write about them.

Sadly i haven't tried writing anything since i was 9 lol.

So here are some silly little thingies i think about everyday :P

Stanley in the first ending thought his coworkers were playing a really thought out prank.

The Narrator sounded familiar, although he couldn't place where he had heard it.

In later runs, he was getting desperate and went through the freedom ending at least 15 times in a row until giving up.

Both of them have no memory of their life's before the parable

The Narrator can access most of the games code and change it however he likes. With this Also why he created the stanley parable

If the parable would get a virus and the Narrator wasn't available, then the Curator would be contacted since she has a lot more knowledge than the Narrator

Stanley can kiiiind of adjust some of the game (the parts the player can at least) by opening a drawer in his office.

After getting hurt in the count down ending, (when he got electrocuted) he tried to not touch anything unless it was absolutely necessary for some time.

The Narrator can hear Stanley's thoughts, but he stopped hearing most of them when Stanley found out. I guess he figured out how to block him.

When The Narrator physically appeared in the parable for the first time he wanted to try out all of the endings since he only got to see it while following Stanley.

The Narrator's name is Nigel (absolutely not because of a song i really like, what are you even talking about?)

One of the Narrator's eyebrows is a lighter shade then the other because he couldn't figure out how to fix it.

They both have something similar to dad bods (tho idk if i have added it in to their drawings, oops)

The Narrator can change his model size/form however he likes. This can also be triggered by stronger emotions.

The Narrator can summon food and items from the real world into the parable, even tho it's not needed

The Narrator can detach his limbs and duplicate them too.

Stanley knows asl and mostly uses it

Fortunately, i could go on and on and on and on but it would take a whole week.

Again, thank you for the question!!

This whole post is just my brain spilling on to text format

Here's a quick scribble of them lol

#tspud #tsp stanley #tsp narrator #tspud art #tsp #tsp fanart #headcanons #tsp fandom #rambles #idk what im doing #idk what im saying #brain rot #Lazybird draws

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viveela · 10 months

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your art is ❤ I wanna squeeze them to death (affectionate) also do you read sp fanfiction? if so do you have recs? 🙈

Ah thank you sm!! I'm so glad people enjoy my fanarts, I honestly didn't think my whole shift to south park posting would go this well lol I'm very glad to be proven otherwise!!

As for sp fics ...this is gonna be a long post lol.

So I have been reading some, buuut I guess I'm kinda picky...I am kind of particular about fics in general honestly. If I love something I want to see it portrayed authentically, that goes for every fandom I've been in. I know aus are fun but I want to be able to mainly consume canon compliant content, rarely do I read anything else oops. Unfortunately I've found that to be kinda hard since aging them up and doing all sorts of aus is heavily the vast majority with the sp fandom so I don't really have too many fics I personally have to recommend; just a handful that stood out to me, but I will happily share some!! They're all style and creek tho as I haven't found any I like that aren't yet, but I hope to find some for other pairs or nonromantic ones soon.

Stan x Kyle: A Ballad of True Hearts It's ongoing but really good so far! I really enjoy it, I'm a huge sucker for the fantasy look from the show/game and when it comes to aus this is like the only one I really indulge in. I really like how they're characterized and the tense dynamic they have that reflects the one seen in the current state of the series. The underlying plot has me very intrigued too! Sign of Devotion Adorable canon feeling story where their fantasy world is rarely portrayed as in the show with them simply playing pretend (which is my fav way to see it done). I loved this one to pieces and idk I just really like the idea of some feelings arising between them from trying to stay in character!! To Be More Than My Daydream I really enjoyed this one because it really nailed down how comfortable the two boys have gotten with each other's presence. I enjoy the idea of Stan taking a while to realize how his feelings changed over time and the way awareness of this slowly comes to light. It's written so tenderly and sweet it's really cute, I love the way they are here. Say it and mean it (for both our sakes) Such an awesome fic covering the distance that has grown between the two and how they're both happier when close to one another. They are both wanting and missing what they once had before but so bad at communicating this to each other until now. It was just perfect, loved it. Tweek x Craig:

Signs Point to Yes Incredibly fun fic, super in character, felt like an actual episode. The call back to the fortune teller is great. It was just such an enjoyable fic that really captured their dynamic and the struggle to save a relationship they didn't even ask for but now want. Super cute!

A Stripe of Love This fic was made before there was that much info on Stripe I believe, but it is very cute and I enjoyed it a lot. I am also always a fan for people bringing in Tweek's unofficial/official parrot into the mix, even if briefly. Overall, it's just a really sweet read.

Baby steps

Really cute exploration of how the two would feel about the awkward transition from faking to actually putting real feelings into their actions and being a little more vocal about it. Tweek's nerves are captured really nicely too.

That's all of them, hopefully my tastes in fics overlap at least a little with yours and you gain a nice read out of this!

I also plan to write some fics myself so maybe keep an eye out for that...?

#veespeaks #south park #style #fic asks #creek #this was kinda fun to format lol #hopefully it is enjoyed by anon and maybe others #but yeah i have fic ideas...lots of em #I just don't have enough time to do everything I want lol #but soon....soon

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livums · 10 months

Text

WIP Soundtrack Tag

Tagged by @writernopal (kind of a little while ago.... hehe). Find her post here!

Doing this for The Romance of the Demigods, because I think the marking blood ost needs... some more time to cook (the playlist is more angsty heartbreak songs and not... angsty heartbreak SOUNDTRACK music yknow? Maybe I'll do another part sometime).

Anyways I'm killing the part of me that cringes please be gentle with me 💜 also I'm being very vague so as to dodge spoilers as best I can bc I don't want to just leave the song with no context LOL

I added the Spotify previews of my favorites/the most important(?) songs below the cut lol

Teir Abhaile Riu | The end would make a great backing for a trailer theme... that's what I imagine, at least. hehe.

The Mageseeker | Nysean flees the palace, her home, in search of the Demifae and the Aiamede.

Dance of the Pagans | Theme of Kesh Akesheen, who has freshly dodged death, again.

Somewhere Out There in All that Noise | Eve is afflicted by dreams. She can't hear what she's telling herself.

The Dynasty | Theme of the Paladins of the Sonnelic Host, and its Holy Commander Réithe au Haulgen.

Surviving Exile | Kesh and Eve have a fraught second impression. The nature of Kesh's magic becomes clear to Eve.

Ancient Land | The fellowship departs, united on their journey... kind of.

The Banquet / Nil Sé'n Lá / Kingdom Dance | Various songs of traveling and merrymaking.

Lament of Orpheus | Irial sings.

Carrying You / The Journey to the West | Kesh comes home, to all that awaits her.

The Ancient Wellspring | Theme of the Aiamede, domain of the Queen of the Earth.

Dashing and Bashing / Blood in the Wine | Fun, games, and Fae antics in the Domain of the Earth.

Burn for You / Eyes, Nose, Lips | Eve tells Kesh how she feels. Kesh feels like her chest has imploded.

Magic is Everywhere, Magic is Rising | Kesh realizes who she needs the most. Eve bears the ink of their covenant.

La Stravaganza / Radiance | The Hierophant, Nysa's betrothed.

The Call | A great tragedy has struck. Kesh weaves a dangerous plan.

Charge of the Knights | Like, it's a really stupid fucking plan.

Revolution | Eve fights a traitor.

Specks of Time | Eve learns the truth of her dreams, the truth about Nysa, and the truth about Kesh.

SORRY it got so long. oops! Anyways, tagginggggg (if u haven't done it already and would sure like to) @writinglittlebeasts @sarahlizziewrites @yedithwrites @ink-flavored @tabswrites @cabaretofwords @rudeneles @jasperygrace @words-after-midnight @mysticstarlightduck @welcome-to-the-atmosphere and anyoneeee else who would like to, please tag me! o k thank you bye <3

#sorry for posting league of legends can u ever forgive me #if you’re gonna listen to one song in full please make it burn for you #the preview doesn’t capture any of the good parts #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #tag game #my WIPs #{roses there are many}#Spotify #wip soundtrack

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librathefangirl · 6 months

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i need to know about all of these fics NOW (no pressure take your time ofc ofc)

Wrath of a Captain

Moment of Rest (a Decade Too Late)

Hitmen!Demon bros AU

Galand exposes Meliodas' demon secret

How to Demon (Yes, Captain, This is Really Necessary)

Meliodas and the Kids AU #1

also never realized how silly i name my documents till now 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️

Ahh hearing you excited about all these is making me excited to write them again (hoping to get back to writing more soon - october was a mess and a half :( but I have 2 whumptober fics that I almost finished that should maybe might be posted soon?)

Okay so...

Wrath of a Captain

Fun fact about this one is that it was one of (possibly the) first nnt fic ideas I wrote down when I first got into the fandom. Tho in what - 1-1,5 years? - I've still barely started writing it (oops). But not for lack of interest! I'm still excited about this one, I just haven't been able to specify the scenario enough to start writing (I keep getting distracted by other fic ideas lol).

To summarize the idea in three words: Protective Captain Meliodas.

And here's a rough summary I wrote for myself:

The Seven Deadly sins were a well-known force only fools would take lightly. Though faced with a captain that was small and short, and seemed the complete opposite of wrath itself, it was easy to underestimate him. But just because the captain didn't get angry, didn't mean he never got close. Especially if one were foolish enough to dare attack his team.

A Moment of Rest (a Decade Too Late)

This is a fic I started this summer and then kinda forgot about (oh the art of finishing a fic before moving on to the next one). It takes place after the Capital of the Dead arc and deals with the aftermath of Sins being split-up for 10 years from King's perspective. Now, I can't remember, if it originally was supposed to be "Meliodas was alone for 10 years" angst or "Meliodas was alone for 10 years and demons don't do well in isolation" angst, but it's probably gonna end up being the second one now. Which means the rest of the Sins, while not knowing Meliodas' full story, knows he is a demon and how these past 10 years would have affected him because of it.

Here's a little sneak peek:

The princess had already retired into the Boar Hat, while Ban had simply settled for grabbing Meliodas and sprawling out on the ground. He wasn’t sleeping. His ease was a facade at best. King knew that he too was plagued by these past ten years, and the guilt they brought. It had never been supposed to go this far… Meliodas seemed dazed. A state hopefully only brought forth by the lull of sleep slowly claiming him. He wasn’t quite asleep yet though. To an outsider he might have seemed to be, but King knew him better. His guard was still firmly up, although slowly but surely being picked apart by Ban’s hand repeatedly running through his hair. Meliodas was curled up tighter than he normally would, yet at the same time more relaxed than King had seen him since before they were framed. His head was neatly tucked on top of Ban’s chest. Ear over his heart, no doubt. He’d always had a particular fondness of that, their captain. Easily soothed by the beat of a heart – by the beat of their hearts at least.

Hitmen!Demon bros AU

Oooh this one. thiiiis one! I'm still mostly in the planning stage for this one, but I can't wait until I get to share the full thing with you all. Like the name suggests, it's a modern (possibly slight futuristic) AU where the DK raised his sons as hitmen. It's gonna be a multichapter fic (probably my longest wip yet) and there will be lots of demon bros angst!

Fun fact, while the I had thought about this AU a bit, I wasn't necessarily planning on writing it at first. Then my mind provided me with this super angsty demon bros scene and an awful chapter cliffhanger, and well, now I'm invested. I need to know how this story ends. (If this sounds familiar, I did mention this once before).

Anyway, I have written the first 300-something words, setting up the angst before a jump back in time, so here's a sneak peek:

Perhaps one of the most defining moments in Meliodas’ life happened on January 29th the year he was turning 26. The day Meliodas found himself on a rooftop staring down his own little brother, a raised gun in both their hands aimed at each other. The only sound was the falling rain as the world itself seemed to hold its breath waiting for who would make the first move. At that moment, Meliodas had thought he had known exactly how the day would end. He had known it in the calculating part of his mind that he never could quite shut off, and had felt it in his heart that seemed to break every time he saw his little brother. He had thought he knew what would happen. He had been wrong. Everybody has a choice, but sometimes it doesn’t matter what you chose.

Galand exposes Meliodas' demon secret

Now this one I've shared a bit about before - partly to complain about my (still going strong) habit of stopping my writing in the middle of a sentence. Sadly, I haven't really made any progress since then. Mostly because I can't remember where tf the story was supposed to go (did I even have a plan?? I found the story aka the snippet of writing in a school notebook I hadn't used for months, so who knows).

Anyway! What I do know is that Galand fucks everything up on purpose, and is the one to reveal Meliodas' demon secret to the rest of the Sins. How the story continues from there, well, I'll figure that out eventually. For now, the last part of the fic looks like this:

It had all started with a confrontation with one of the Ten Commandments. Galand of Truth. He hadn’t even seemed to be looking for a fight – not in that moment anyway – King had noticed. He’d just been there to stir up trouble. Always playing games as usual¸ Meliodas had said. Well, games or not, Galand really had caused trouble. The demon had been quick to pick up on the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins’ surprise that Meliodas seemed to know him personally, and then deduced...DEDUCED WHAT??

How to Demon (Yes, Captain, This is Really Necessary)

This is actually a request/fic idea I got from a reader on ao3. It's also mostly still in the planning stage, having taken a backseat to my Febuwhump fic. But the idea is basically Melin giving a lesson on demons to the Sins with the (reluctant) aid of Meliodas. Or in other words, Merlin is sick of being (almost) the only one who knows how to keep Mel alive and will make it everybody's probably whether they want to or not. It'll also take place in the same AU as The Heat of the Storm (which means more of my demon thermoregulation, yay! - oh, actually, sidenote: I'm working on a post about that hc).

So, we'll have random demon lore/headcanons/stuff, some humor, and, of course, angst (probably more angst than should come from this otherwise humorous idea).

Meliodas and the Kids AU #1

The first of (at least) three fics taking place in the Meliodas and the Kids AU (aka Meliodas Adopts the Sins). In this AU, instead of the Sins becoming knights together way down the line, Meliodas ends up adopting/taking them in as kids* over the years.

Now, I use the term kids loosely here since neither King nor Gowther will actually be kids in the normal sense. But Gowther will be on his own for the first time and also still new to the world, and King, well, I still got some ideas for his relationship with Mel (and also, he is still significantly younger than Mel, so I say he still counts as his kid).

This first fic will consist of six chapters (one for each "kid"), exploring how Meliodas ended up taking them all in, and the dynamics of this mismatched little family (mostly the kids relationships' with Mel).

(Also Elizabeth is probably gonna be dead-dead in this AU).

Here's a sneak peek from the first (Merlin's) chapter:

When you find yourself stuck in time, it’s good to set up some rules for yourself, unless you want to lose yourself to madness. Meliodas didn’t have the luxury for madness. Madness was not going to solve anything. He would still be stuck here, unaging and undying, without an end in sight. Submitting to madness would also be admitting that the only purpose his life had left was suffering. An eternity alone in the human realm as a punishment for his crimes against the Demon King. His father was a huge asshole, okay? Meliodas was not about to give him the satisfaction of watching him break. So, he made some rules. The most important one was: do not get attached. [some other stuff not included in this sneak peek] Do not get attached. It was simple and important – and Meliodas had broken the rule before he had even made it.

(also I love your wip titles XD and will definitely send an ask for some ramblings of your own - but that will have to wait, I've got an 8am lecture in less than 7 hours and need to get some sleep, so Imma put a to be continued on the wip talk for now)

WIP Tag/Ask Game!

#thanks for the ask!#libra answers #gh0stofyesterday #wip tag game #wip ask game #libra talks about her writing #my wips #wrath of a captain #a moment of rest (a decade too late)#hitmen demon bros au #galand exposes meliodas' demon secret fic #how to demon fic #meliodas and the kids au #nanatsu no taizai #seven deadly sins

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coexistentialism · 4 months

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idk which cdd I have but I’ve just been saying did bc I’ve read things abt how certain presentations of alters/my system that I relate to r apparently more common/known in did (according to the haunted self). and the fact that even if I don’t have amnesia in daily life I may have it in the past. oh shit wait. can amnesia count as like of your other alters n not knowing them like having heavy barriers? n like denial and forgetting about it? is that a type of amnesia? does it matter if I say it’s did over osdd? honestly on that topic,, do u think theres any other reason to specifically suspect did instead of osdd1? maybe that’s a silly question bc everyone is different I’m just thinking about how did is apparently more complex than osdd? so maybe there are some differences other than “well did has amnesia and diffrendiayrd eleboratrd parts while osdd may not” I’m sorry if this sounds messy I’m tired but thinking out loud lol

can amnesia count as like of your other alters n not knowing them like having heavy barriers? n like denial and forgetting about it? is that a type of amnesia?

I think you'll have to be more specific about what you're trying to ask here, cause I'm not sure I understand what you mean unfortunately

does it matter if I say it’s did over osdd?

I'm not sure what you mean, why would it? I ended up rambling a lot in this post, oops.

At the end of the day, an OSDD diagnosis depends on the person who is diagnosing you; OSDD isn't its own separate, unique disorder with specific, unique criteria to meet, separate from DID.

Plenty of people get diagnosed with OSDD when they actually fit the criteria for DID better; or diagnosed with OSDD only to then be later diagnosed with DID. I personally haven't seen or heard about people experiencing the opposite way around (first diagnosed with DID, then changed to OSDD), but I'm sure it probably has happened at some point, but the fact I haven't heard about it is probably saying something.

You don't get diagnosed with OSDD because you meet specific criteria for OSDD - you get diagnosed with OSDD because you DON'T meet the specific criteria for any of the other pre-existing dissociative disorders. It's "BECAUSE you don't meet the criteria for THESE other dissociative disorders that you get diagnosed with OSDD" not "you meet the criteria for OSDD, so you have OSDD." There isn't criteria to meet in the first place! Do you meet the full criteria to be diagnosed with another dissociative disorder? If not, then you get diagnosed with OSDD, and there can be many reasons for this.

This is literally all of the "criteria" you have to meet to be diagnosed with OSDD in the DSM-5, followed by EXAMPLES of reasons why the person was diagnosed with OSDD over any other dissociative disorder. The key word is EXAMPLES - this isn't criteria for a diagnosis of OSDD! Just examples.

Sometimes it's because the system doesn't experience amnesia and they truly don't experience amnesia, but "not experiencing amnesia" is not a specific OSDD criteria that you have to meet, it's just a specific reason why a clinician would give as to why the person doesn't meet the criteria for any other dissociative disorder.

OSDD IS:

A diagnosis that means that you do not meet the full criteria for any of the pre-existing dissociative disorder, such as DID, depersonalization/derealization disorder, etc.

A diagnosis that is often unique to each individual who gets diagnosed with this condition (because there are many reasons why someone might be diagnosed with OSDD and sometimes those reasons are highly specific)

OSDD is NOT:

A specific, unique, separate disorder

A disorder that is "less severe" or "less complex" than DID

A "less severe" "version" of DID

"DID with missing criteria"

"DID, but not quite DID"

A disorder that gets diagnosed when your amnesia "isn't bad/severe enough"

A disorder that gets diagnosed when your amnesia is minimal

A disorder that gets diagnosed when your alters aren't distinct enough

A disorder that gets diagnosed when you don't have it that bad

A disorder that gets diagnosed if you don't struggle "bad enough" or if you're "not that affected" by your symptoms

A disorder that gets diagnosed if you experience your alters as "moods/mood states/brain states/etc." or if you experience that "same stream of consciousness" no matter what alter is fronting, etc. etc.

I feel like people forget as well that OSDD is not just "DID but with missing criteria" it means that you don't meet the criteria for ANY OTHER DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER. It doesn't mean that you're "basically a DID system, but with criteria missing." So when it comes to OSDD, it's important to remember that it specific includes all other dissociative disorders, not just DID. It's specifically saying that you don't meet the diagnostic criteria of ANY OTHER dissociative disorder, not just DID.

All of this is why it's confusing to me when people (not @ the anon) try to put hard distinctions between DID and OSDD-1, or when people try to lay out some kind of key distinctions between the two?

I also have a lot of other problems when it comes to the way people try to differentiate OSDD from DID.

"OSDD means no amnesia":

How are you certain you don't experience amnesia? If you definitely know for a fact that you don't experience amnesia, I'm so curious how people know, how they figure it out. 'Cause amnesia is so fucking tricky and you can be so unaware of amnesia, it genuinely hides itself in.. A genuinely horrifying way.

What does it mean to truly not experience any kind of amnesia to meet the criteria for DID? I've always wondered this, mostly because my amnesia is quite severe (I'm very unaware of it, but I know it's quite severe, much more severe than I think) and I have no idea what it would be like, feel like, or look like to be a system without any amnesia at all whatsoever, and how you know you don't experience it and to then confirm in some way that you really don't experience amnesia. So I wonder what a system with OSDD without amnesia looks like/feels like. And how they know for sure they don't experience amnesia.

Because dissociative amnesia from DID includes a wide, wide, wide variety of experiences that are oftentimes really difficult to be aware of, in order for a diagnosis of OSDD-1 to depend on how much amnesia you experience or whether or not the person experiences amnesia, we would need to have a clearly outlined explanation of what amnesia is for BOTH disorders, what experiences "count" as amnesia/how "much" amnesia "counts for BOTH disorder, and I just don't think that kind of thing is really.. Possible. In order to claim that OSDD means that you don't meet the amnesia criteria for DID, we would need to understand what that amnesia criteria even IS for DID. And unfortunately amnesia is incredibly difficult to even notice sometimes and sometimes people will go years not knowing they have amnesia until an alter comes forward with traumatic memories that other alters don't remember. We'd need to know what really Counts as amnesia when it comes to DID, and if certain experiences count and others don't, why and why not?

"OSDD means minimal amnesia" is also included under this and it's something that really annoys me and is just not true. OSDD does not mean you experience "minimal" amnesia. How much amnesia you experience, how often your amnesia affects you, whether or not your amnesia feels like teleportation or not, whether or not your amnesia is something that largely affects your life or only affects it sometimes - these things have nothing to do with whether or not you have OSDD over DID. I want this idea to die already.

"OSDD means your alters aren't elaborated enough to be fully individual people":

I have so much to say about this.

I hate this! I hate this so much! It's spreading misinformation about OSDD AND DID and this belief has been used CONSTANTLY to discredit people's experiences. This belief has made people doubt that I have DID; it has made people try to push OSDD as a label for me over DID even though it has never felt fitting for me, and it has been used to discredit so many other people I've known too.

Repeat after me: your alters not being separate individuals with their own names, ages, distinct personalities, etc. DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE OSDD. THIS IS A NORMAL EXPERIENCE FOR DID SYSTEMS AND IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE OSDD INSTEAD OF DID. IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU AREN'T A SYSTEM AT ALL. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE IT "LESS BAD" THAN OTHER SYSTEMS. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOUR ALTERS ARE NOT AND CANNOT BE THEIR OWN PEOPLE.

And on that note. This kind of thing has also always greatly confused me because the concept/idea of alter elaboration is a muddy way and well who is the one measuring this? Alter elaboration, I think, is not a linear spectrum where one end is "not elaborated at all" and the opposite end is "totally separate person." If OSDD means "less elaborated alters", I question what that means and who is measuring it - how will we measure alter elaboration in an accurate way in order to properly assess whether or not someone's alters are "elaborated enough" for a DID diagnosis?

Do you see why this is confusing and makes no sense to me?

If we are to say that OSDD is diagnosed PURELY based off of the fact that the person's alters are not elaborated enough for a DID diagnosis, we need to ask:

WHAT is alter elaboration? We need to define alter elaboration and know and understand what it is.

HOW do we measure alter elaboration? After we know what it is, we need to be able to "measure" it. How do you measure such a vague and fuzzy concept as "alter elaboration"?

HOW MUCH elaboration is 'required' to meet a DID diagnosis over an OSDD diagnosis?

And finally:

WHY?

WHY do we consider (xyz) experiences to be more elaborated than other experiences?

WHY are we measuring alter elaboration in this way - are there other ways to measure alter elaboration, and if so, is there any specific reason why we went this one way to measure it, rather than any other ways? Is that a good reason? A valid reason? Why? How do we know? Is it accurate and helpful and useful for differentiating DID from OSDD?

WHY are these things considered to be more elaboration over these things?

Because alter elaboration is a confusing, jumbled, muddy mess.

Some alters will have distinct body language, but they don't know they're an alter or anything like that, so they have no name or specific, unique personality, it might just seem like the individual person just has different body language when that alter fronts. Is that elaborated enough? Why, or why not?

What about a system with alters who have their own unique names and personalities, but otherwise have minimal differences - mostly share the same beliefs, feelings, opinions, likes, dislikes, etc. Are they elaborated enough to meet DID criteria? Why or why not?

If we are to assume that "OSDD means alters who aren't elaborated enough for a DID diagnosis" where the most elaborated alters means that two or more alters have unique and distinctly different voices, body language, names, personalities, etc. - the most overt system you can think of - then millions upon millions of people would have their diagnosis completely changed.

It would also mean many OSDD systems would get diagnosed with DID instead. A lot of the OSDD systems I've met fall on the more "overt" end of the spectrum where their alters are quite distinct with their own unique senses of self, names, personalities, etc. I've met more OSDD systems who match the stereotypes than I have DID systems - both diagnosed and self-diagnosed.

Everything I explained in this post is why when people try to ask me about the difference between DID and OSDD, I don't know what to tell you other than "it just means you don't meet the criteria for any other dissociative disorder."

I think about all of these things a lot because the way people treat DID and OSDD as if they're distinct, separate, unique disorders greatly confuses me and I myself don't understand the huge differences between OSDD-1 and DID, other than what I've read in the DSM-5 and other knowledge I've picked up. I would love to read more about OSDD, but it's near impossible to ever come across anything about OSDD specifically.

I think a lot about the concept of "alter elaboration" and how such a thing would be measured; why some experiences might be considered more elaborated than others; how the entire concept of it is greatly subjective and greatly dependent on your environment and how others perceive you - sometimes a highly elaborated alter might not be considered highly elaborated to one person, but be considered highly elaborated to another person.

I would like to make a few things clear as well:

I'm not saying that OSDD systems don't have their own unique, separate, and distinct experiences that other systems may not relate to.

OSDD as a diagnosis includes more than just OSDD systems, OSDD-1.

I'm not saying that OSDD is a pointless, useless diagnosis, or that people with OSDD are just "DID systems who don't realize" or "DID systems who think they have OSDD" or any other combination of similar phrasing. It's incredibly frustrating when people try to assert OSDD as a label onto me and I'd never want to do the same for OSDD systems the other way around (try to assert the DID label onto them when they don't feel it fits, try to convince them that they have DID and not OSDD, etc.).

#qmy posts #inbox

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