#scar’s the other best friend but also love interest because I love pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovelesslittleloser · 1 year

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I have a fic in the works that I am frothing at the mouth over and wish to share with someone so if you would like to hear about my Grian-centric modern hero/villain AU that has Minecraft mechanics that only Grian knows about, Rich Grian, minor Watcher Grian, minor Grian as a time-ascending godlike entity (compared to the other characters) who can move from servers at will (though the fic mostly takes place in the one), Arianna Griande, Cuteguy, a little Poultry Man, and MAJOR Builder Grian, a fic that includes supporting characters such as:

Major Characters

Mumbo Killsalot Jumbo

Good Times With Scar (+Hotguy)

Philza Minecraft (+Crowfather)

Characters Between Major And Minor

Jimmy Solidarity Gaming

Technoblade

Dream

Joel Smallishbeans

Kristen (+Goddess Of Death)

Minor Characters

Quackity

Wilbur Soot

Tommy Innit

Tubbo Underscore

Ranboo Beloved

Fundy

Lizzie LDShadowLady

Mentioned Characters

Mexican Dream (Quackity)

Blopwobbel (from Wilbur Soot streams/videos)

Tarii (from Wilbur Soot streams/videos)

Orelii (from Wilbur Soot streams/videos)

Wolfclaw Gaming (from Wilbur Soot streams/videos)

More is 100% going to be added later as I get more inspiration and/or watch different Hermnitcraft perspectives, but at the moment, this is most of it!! Please ask me about this fic I am begging you for an excuse send an ask send a dm and I’ll go for hours

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cuffmeinblack · 1 year

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i hope you're still taking requests if not ignore this <3 but if you are, then may i request a ominis x reader x sebastian? okay so basically its ominis going up to sebastian and asking him to describe the reader, because he wants to know about his crush. but as sebastian describes the reader, ominis realizes that seb also has a crush on the reader. of course as his friend, ominis encourages seb to act on his feelings even if it means his own heart breaking. a lil angst, jk alot. thank youuu! have a nice rest of your day/night <3

You're welcome

Ominis Gaunt x f!reader

Tags: fluff | love rivalry

1k words

A/n: Sorry this took ages to answer! If you know my area of interest 😏 you'll know how this is going to end. But here we go.

Ominis had heard descriptions of his new friend, though they didn't mean much to him. The superficial details were often talked of favourably, except the faded scar that ran down her cheek. He'd asked her about that particular detail and she had told him her story and Ominis had listened, enraptured, and found similarities in the pain of their childhoods. He enjoyed talking to her, his previous misgivings all but forgotten—truth be told, he had immediately disliked her due to Sebastian's inexplicable interest, but now he thought he understood.

Ominis wanted to know more about her and often wondered how other people saw her, particularly his best friend. He wondered if he would approve of Ominis' affections for the girl, and decided to broach the subject one quiet evening in the Slytherin common room whilst she was out of the castle on some adventurous errand.

"Can I ask you something, Sebastian?" Ominis asked in a low voice, trying not to draw the interest of any nearby students.

"Of course," Sebastian replied.

"Our new fifth year friend…what does she look like? Or rather, how do you see her?"

"Oh…hmmm," Sebastian hummed, considering the question.

Ominis realised it was a hard question to answer, but he was curious.

"I mostly notice her eyes, I suppose. They draw you in—she can look so intense but there's a glint in her eyes I saw the first day we met, when I knew she was…when I knew we'd be friends," Sebastian said, his sentence tapering off weakly toward the end.

Ominis nodded, his throat dry and heart quickening. He hadn't anticipated this—the way Sebastian talked, he thought he knew that wistful tone. He liked her. A lot.

"Anything else?" Ominis asked, curious still, wanting to test his new assumption.

"Her smile. It's sort of crooked, but it lights up her face. She only smiles like that when she really means it. And she has these…dimples…like little indentations in her cheeks," Sebastian carried on in barely a whisper, then cleared his throat suddenly. "I suppose that's it."

Ominis' stomach twisted. If he touched Sebastian's skin he was sure it would be burning. He knew his friend, and whilst he was an insufferable flirt, he didn't talk about any other girl like this. He might make a throwaway comment such as "she's nice to look at", but the poetic way he described their mutual friend pointed to something else. Sebastian had studied her, noticed all these details that he'd found endearing, and it made Ominis' heart ache.

Ominis would do anything for his best friend, and he wondered if this was another of those things. Could he bury his own feelings to allow Sebastian to explore his?

"Thank you for telling me," Ominis said.

"You're welcome."

-

Over the coming days, Ominis listened to the interactions between his friends with greater interest, armed with this new information, it now seemed obvious to him that Sebastian was nursing a deep affection for the girl. Whether or not she reciprocated his feelings, Ominis couldn't tell. She was easygoing and friendly to everyone, and her tie to Sebastian could be entirely platonic. Ominis supposed the only way to find out was to ask her.

It was hard to get her alone without Sebastian, the two seemed to be joined at the hip, even more since Ominis' conversation with Sebastian about her—whether this was coincidence or not, he couldn't say. Ominis managed to corner her one day before lessons began, Sebastian had run back to the dormitory to retrieve his forgotten textbook.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Ominis?" she asked, leading his arm to a quiet corner of the hallway. Her hand seemed to burn through his robes and ignite his skin, sending a prickling feeling through his body.

"I was wondering, if there's anyone that you…like. Anyone you're interested in?" Ominis asked awkwardly. Not his most eloquently posed question.

"Oh. I…maybe," she said evasively, her hand still lingering on his arm.

Ominis nodded. "Sebastian?"

The silence that greeted the question seemed to stretch on forever, until it ended abruptly with the intrusion of Sebastian who had returned, panting heavily. The hand on Ominis' arm had withdrawn suddenly with his arrival.

Ominis struggled to concentrate after that. She hadn't been able to answer his question, but to him it already seemed answered. She had admitted she had an interest in someone, and realistically who else could it be? Who else had held her attention since the day of her arrival at Hogwarts? A dejected acceptance fell over him, and he vowed to do his best to ensure their happiness—what kind of friend would he be otherwise?

Pulling Sebastian aside that evening, he prepared himself for what he had to say. He'd turned the words over in his mind, though actually forming them would prove difficult.

"...I asked her if she was interested in anyone, she didn't exactly say but it seems clear that it's you. I know you like her, Sebastian, it was obvious when you told me about how you see her," Ominis forced the words out.

"Ominis…you idiot," Sebastian said.

Ominis' mouth dropped open at the unexpected insult, though Sebastian's tone was more amused and exasperated than anything malicious.

"I do like her. And I know you do, ever since you asked me about her. She told me about your conversation earlier," Sebastian said.

Ominis felt his cheeks burning from embarrassment as Sebastian pressed on.

"She likes you, Ominis. It's obvious to anyone with half a brain cell around here. She doesn't open up to anyone like she does with you. So…if you don't ask her out I'll hex you into next week."

Ominis let out a loud laugh, releasing the tension he'd built up as Sebastian had been speaking. His head was swimming as he processed the information. He'd been wrong, so wrong. He felt a wide smile grow on his face as he imagined all the possibilities with her, stretching out before him.

"Thanks, Sebastian," Ominis said.

"You're welcome. Go get her."

#ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt drabble #ominis gaunt fanfiction #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis gaunt imagine #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow imagine #sebastian sallow fanfiction

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Batboys x albino!s/o headcanons

Requested : yes

This one was truly a challenge and got me thinking. But I like nonobvious requests, so if anyone else got anything specific in mind, ask away :)

DICK

He would notice it straight away, like he is tuned into spotting extraordinary looking people

Definitely staring at first, but not in the creepy or judgmental way, rather astonished

He would love you, I mean, consider the fact that he had dated a princess from Tamaran with purple hair and eyes glowing green,

I believe he would be the one to try to get the attention of such person by showing off a bit, trying to display all his best feature to match your outstanding ones.

“Hey, let’s be friends!”

He would show you off as well, sometimes making you blush or causing a bit of a drama when you feel a bit insecure about going out or being put on the spotlight

Once you get into a relationship with him, he would be the protector, always ready to assure you how amazing you are, and that people are only talking because they are jealous

Definitely doing self-care together, he would love to help you oil your hair and moisturize the skin (face mask first!)

And on sunny days he would never let you leave the house without putting a ton of sunscreen on, always having a sun umbrella to protect you from the rays and/or a bag otf other accessories (sunglasses, hats, etc.)

Casually running fingers through your hair or stroking your skin, just because he can

JASON

I think he would be the one to miss your pale skin and unusual hair color

at first

come on, this guy has a white hair strand in the middle of the forehead and a tone of scars, I don’t think he focuses on the looks that much

But he has to notice eventually (probably by being called to order by Dick or Tim because of how insensitive he is)

Cause yes, he may seem a bit insensitive and rough on the outside never really addressing the matter of your albinism, but we all know he cares much more than it shows

You want to go out, but feel shy? – he will hype you and kill scare off anyone who may even look at you in a judgmental way.

You want to stay home and watch movies, but get insecure because of the way the lead female character looks? – screw the movie, he will kiss you until you forget about the whole world and just believe in yourself

I strongly believe he would be the one to understand why you feel down the best of all the batboys

He would stand with you in front of the mirror, pointing out all those little things you feel insecure about and then his own

“See, baby? We match.”

forehead kisses and cuddling on the couch (he won’t let you leave, just holding in that iron-clad embrace, not that you care).

TIM

Oh my god …

He’s like a walking encyclopedia and that is not necessarily a good thing

The most open about the matter, but the most awkward about it as well.

Once he started getting interested in you as more than a friend, he read like a whole library about albinism and approaching you without causing any psychological pain or hurt

And with that he pushed the point to the other side

“You don’t need to walk on the eggshells around me, Tim! You treat me like an alien or something like this! I am a person!”

And after a little fight he would confess that in fact he likes you and therefore all that embarrassing behavior

He would be the one to create a safe space for you both, like a bubble,

He’s been judged before and kind of learn how to not care and just be happy and content with himself and is more than willing to share his methods with you

Grabbing your hands the second he notices you getting insecure, arms rubbing and temple kisses

Making you meet all his friends, who will love you the first second they saw you

DAMIAN

Oh, he’s the one to stare at you with that impenetrable gaze which also seem judgmental, but it’s just curiosity

He’s been raised by a cult of assassin, there are so many things he knows shit about

Making you blush hard, which is way too visible on your pale skin

No one can really tell what he thought when you first met.

Not saying a single word, just gawking

Pushing your limits to the point when you either cry or yell at him and it makes him even more interested (and maybe tiniest bit sorry)

Since then, he’s been the one to spite you just to see your reaction

Slowly getting addicted to that, to the point where any other girls just seem to ordinary and he misses having you with your astounding features around

“You are a jerk, Damian!” “Why? Because I find you the most interesting person on the planet?”

And once you get together ? he would probably go everywhere with his katana

And I mean everywhere, just to scare everyone who may say a single bad word about you

No one would dare

Even when you are in a relationship, he would still stare at you at times, when you don’t see that

He just can’t seem to keep his eyes of you, but is never going to straightforwardly admit how much you mean to him

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kandisheek · 2 months

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FIC REC WEEK 9 – AUs

Cold Space, Warm Welcome by Annie D (scaramouche)

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 15,572 Tags: Sci-Fi, Misunderstandings, Pining Steve

Summary: Tony’s spent a couple of years flying around the galaxy in his best friend Rhodey’s spaceship the Iron Advance, doing what could perhaps be counted as ‘hero’ work. Among their allies is Steve Rogers, captain of his own crew, with whom Tony has a… potentially friendly relationship. When Steve’s ship is irreparably damaged, Rhodey takes him and his whole crew onto the Iron Advance to recover. Tony’s not at all nervous about this, because so what if this is the first time Steve will see him without the Iron Man armor?

Reasons why I love it: Steve is so whipped for Tony, oh my god. I adore their dynamic here, and it's so much fun to see all of Steve's fumbling attempts to make his interest known from Tony's point of view, who is utterly oblivious. And the setting itself is fantastic, it really paints a picture of what their lives in space are like. I love this fic to bits, and I bet you will too!

The Scars of Your Love by blue_jack

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 5,462 Tags: Scars, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up and Making Up

Summary: On the day Peggy moved out, Steve stood naked in front of the mirror and looked at all the ragged lines running over his body. He felt like someone had taken a knife to him, slicing every inch open, and he didn’t understand how there wasn’t any blood. He traced one particularly thick scar on his stomach, gritting his teeth against the pain, the memory of the first time he’d brought Peggy over to meet his family and all the teasing that had accompanied it burning through his mind. He couldn’t imagine her marks ever disappearing, and in that moment, he didn’t want them to, didn’t want to ever expose himself to that much hurt again. Once in a lifetime was enough.

Reasons why I love it: Having heartbreak leave actual, physical scars on your body is such a kickass concept. Emotional pain is so real it often feels like it should leave scars, and Steve sure hasn't been spared during his lifetime. I really like how the whole later conflict with Tony is set up because of Steve's relationship with Peggy. It feels very true to Steve's character that he acts the way he does. And oh my god, poor Tony. I love this one, please go and check it out!

Missing and Ravished by SailorChibi

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 8,760 Tags: Serial Killer Steve, Officer Tony, Gore

Summary: Officer Tony Stark really did not mean to fall in love with a serial killer.

Reasons why I love it: This might sound weird, but if canon Steve ever became a serial killer, I imagine that it would be exactly like this. I love the whole premise of the fic, of Tony being torn between his duty, his morales and his emotions, and the moment it all comes crashing down is immensely satisfying. I love everything about this fic, so I hope you give it a shot!

Steve Rogers' Life Is Not A Romance Movie (He Wouldn't Get The References, Anyway) by someonelsesheart

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Pepper/Natasha Rating: T Words: 7,909 Tags: High School AU, Humor, Enemies to Lovers

Summary: Steve hasn't always had this ridiculous crush on Tony Stark. (Or, the one where Steve is his polite old self and doesn't really hate Tony Stark (unfortunately), Tony is a child progidy and apparently a cab driver now, too, and high school is still high school, even when you are the son of a billionaire.)

Reasons why I love it: Steve the spitfire makes an appearance! They're both such dorks in this, and the way they stand up for each other in front of bullies legitimately makes my heart melt. Also, Pepper and Natasha are queens, and I adore them with my whole heart. Definitely check this one out, it's adorable!

Stellar Love Affairs by AvengersNewB, BladeoftheNebula

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 5,407 Tags: A/B/O (Omega Tony, Alpha Steve), Mating Cycles, Space AU

Summary: Captain Steve Rogers gets assigned to command the starship Avenger. Everything is going as expected until he sets eyes on Tony Stark, who happens to be the first omega Steve's ever met.

Reasons why I love it: A Star Trek fusion, A/B/O, fuck or die fic written by two of my favorite people in this fandom? It's like this fic was written for me! I love everything about it, from the worldbuilding to the smut to them getting their heads out of their asses and finally communicating. It's fantastic, and I highly recommend you check it out for yourself!

#marvel #stony #fanfic #fic rec #fanfic rec #ficrec #a year in fanfic recs #AUs

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haecien · 7 months

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What about me?

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H.VC

Vernon x Reader

Synopsis - You have been hopelessly in love with your best friend but you decided to do the waiting game since you weren't exactly ready, but someone had beat you to his heart.

Genre: Angst, happy ending(i'm not that cruel), friends to lovers, non-idol au, SMAU (you're jeonghan's sibling but he isn't really mentioned much so i'm just going to add this here )

Warning for cursing and attempts at suicide. This is not for the faint hearted!

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Also please note I will have text narrations along with the pictures also this is my first time doing angst;)

What was the point of being here? This world has done nothing but give me disappointment,

....

I've always thought I would have been alone, seems I was incorrect. I have the two most amazing best friends in the world, I cherish them with all my heart. Even if it means I'd have to do endless sacrifices for them that would make me shatter my own heart.

Ouchh... That's rough. But, I can't just POSSIBLY tell her that I like him too, Haesul is special to me. Plus Vernon seems interested in her too. I have no chance whatsoever.

This hurts too much, I'm not suppose to feel like this.

Why i'm I crying? This was just simply not meant to be, and I know it.

Oh.

Now, you didn't expect for this to happen. Haha you knew it, you didn't have a chance.

Liar, Why did you do this to me? I don't feel so good. Suddenly tears filled my eyes, I couldn't contain it anymore. Why can I never have anything good? I don't miss you anymore.

This hurts too much, I want to free myself from this pain... There isn't any other way except... NO I won't do it.

But, I don't think I can continue this anymore. What about them? I don't want them to hurt because of me, that's selfish of me.

Even after all this convincing, it won't stop me.

The feeling of the rough rope wrapping around my neck felt painful, but soon this will all end. Please, please don't forget me but, don't feel sorry for me. Don't be disheartened by me.

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A month later:

... I'm, still here? No, why i'm I still here. This wasn't supposed to end like this. I looked around and observed the room, how? How I'm I at the hospital. You touched your neck to feel it has been scraped by the rope, but surprisingly no scars. The markings are still there though.

You heard a worried voice call out of you, to your surprise.

" Hansol? " he heard you call out to him which made him burst out into tears as he ran towards your bed to embrace you tightly, " I thought I lost you. Please never do that again, Why did you do that? "

You couldn't muster up any words to respond to his question, instead you just hugged him back. Your eyes teared up " I'm sorry, that was foolish of me to do. " he let go of you as he sat down beside you.

He tried to convince you to open up, eventually you did. " Have you ever loved me? " those words, his eyes widened at the question. Oh, how he wasn't expecting that. " You don't have to answer, I know you and Haesul are together. There was nothing between us anyways. "

" There is something between us. " hearing those words made your heart beat fast, Did I miss understood everything?

" I know what you're going to say, Me and Hae didn't work out. We both decided to split up, but we're still friends. Luckily, Jeonghan walked into your house just in time. I was worried sick you know? I've missed you every day."

" Oh hansol, I'm very sorry for everything. I really mean it, can we leave this behind us? I, I still like you a lot. "

you'd expect him to go and reject you but.

he wiped away your tears and gave you a soft smile, his smiles always made you feel at home and safe. " Deal, I can't wait to build our future together . "

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Surprisingly everything went smoothly after that, you got discharged from the hospital with your now boyfriend.

the months that were ahead were so happy, majority it's because you're spending it with your boyfriend... scratch boyfriend, It's fiance now.

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Cien rambles

I HOPE THIS IS GOOD. god this made me almost cry HEL

yeah you guys got married😊you guys have 2 babies now(cats) and its canon caus I said so

#seventeen #cienlvrs #svt imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen smau #svt fanfic #seventeen angst #svt angst #seventeen imagines #hansol vernon chwe #vernon #svt vernon #seventeen hansol #seventeen vernon #vernon x reader #vernon x you #vernon x y/n

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thelostgirl21 · 10 months

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Jaskier, The voice of the Continent,

meets

Radovid, The Voice of the Fandom...

Seriously, it's like they decided to have a character fall in love with Jaskier, and finally tell him everything we wish someone would have told him since the beginning of watching this show...

You gorgeous, loyal, empathetic, caring, devoted sapioromantic pansexual bard with a heart of gold and the voice of a freaking angel, that sees others as they are, and brings out the best in them often at your own expanse...

It was high time someone finally saw you, too - caught a glimpse of the pain and weariness you carry in your heart (yet keep downplaying and brushing aside, afraid that others would be made to feel bad about it and stop enjoying having you around to keep them entertained if they paid too much attention to it) - and took the time to remind you that you are, indeed, enough...

Radovid kept insisting for a song...

And you gave him one...

Not a song singing his own praises - with the goal or making him more sympathetic or famous to an audience (so that the world could see him and care about him the way you do)...

Not one asking him for what he yearns for, while being frustrated and heartbroken over him apparently being so set on self-sabotaging that he's unable to return the love of those that do love him...

No, for once, you decided that you were done "entertaining others", and singing about what you think they want you to sing...

Instead, you chose to sing a song about what you need and yearn for in life...

And he learned it...

Jaskier sang to him before he left the palace, and Radovid freaking learned Jaskier's song by heart, after having attentively listened to every note and every word he sang only once...

How's that for a pie without filling?

They somehow managed to turn that new ship into a whole freaking Cruise Line in just 4 episodes!

Don't get me wrong, I do love Geralt and genuinely think he was attempting to push Jaskier away out of both self-hatred and a desire to protect others from himself in Season 1... But the things he said, and the way he used to treat Jaskier, still hurt him, affected his sense of self-worth, and left some scars.

I'm therefore not drawing comparisons to bash on Geralt and Jaskier's own relationship, but because I love the healing opportunities that Radovid's hopefully genuine romantic interest in Jaskier are providing.

i.e. They better not pull some sick twist on us, by having Radovid be revealed as a cruel, scheming villain that took advantage of Jaskier's goodness, feelings, and needs for his own gain; because I've a feeling heads would be found in boxes!

Just let him have his big gay spoon, alright? Or little spoon! But I kinda want Jaskier to be the one spooned with someone firmly holding onto him with no intention of ever sending him away right now, so...

Also, what's the new name of that ship, Jaskovid? I'll go with Jaskovid...

I also found it very interesting, from a LGBTQ+ representation standpoint, that they are seemingly going the route of a polyamourous pansexual character that might be somewhere on the gray-romantic spectrum.

i.e. That Jaskier would specifically need to experience a sapioromantic connection - be attracted attracted to one's wits and insightfulness - in order for him to experience any desire to enter a romantic relationship with them.

Will Jaskier remain polyamorous, both romantically and sexually, should Radovid himself be monoamorously romantically/sexually exclusive, and the two of them choose to fully commit to their romantic connection?

I guess we'll have to see!

But I still thought it was a very nice nuance to bring to the character.

And I could see this going many different and equally interesting ways!

Jaskier could enter a deeply committed romantic and sexual relationship with Radovid, with one, or the two of them, remaining romantically and sexually non-exclusive (ex: one of my polyamorous friends has a main romantic/sexual partner that they live and share their lives with, and another one that they regularly go on romantic dates with, but without the need for them to build their lives together, or see each other as often).

Jaskier could enter a deeply committed romantic and sexual relationship with Radovid, with one, or the two of them, staying romantically exclusive, but enjoying sexual polyamory with lovers that they have no committed romantic connection to.

Jaskier could be revealed as being more ambiamorous than polyamorous, and be completely comfortable and happy being in a romantically and sexually exclusive relationship with a monoamorous partner.

As an ambiamorous panromantic demi-pansexual myself, I've personally discovered that, while I'm comfortable being in a romantic polyamorous relationship, sharing an exclusive romantic and sexual relationship doesn't feel forced, nor like I have to make any efforts and deprive myself of anything I enjoy, if I so happen to be romantically and sexually attracted to a person that isn't polyamorous.

It's like my monoamorous v.s. polyamorous instincts are naturally determined by the preferences of my romantic partner.

i.e. In the absence of any romantic connection to my sexual partners (that I do need to share a strong emotional bond with, however), however, I'm sexually polyamorous.

If the sexual desires occur in the context of a romantic connection with a monoamorous partner, I genuinely stop experiencing any sense of romantic and/or sexual attraction towards anyone else than that partner.

If the sexual desires occur in the context of a romantic connection with a polyamorous partner, however, then it's like my heart and my body will naturally remain open to forming multiple committed partnerships with other people, often with one of those romantic/sexual partnership being perceived as a domestic/life partner.

So, with Jaskier, it's perfectly possible that he might lose all interest in ever romantically and/or sexually having relationships with anyone other than Radovid, should Radovid be revealed as a being a romantically and sexually monoamorous individual himself.

Just like he could be polyamorously romantic and sexual all the way, and being unable to offer Radovid any exclusivity (which wouldn't make the romantic connection they share any less real, deep, nor valuable).

Whatever path that relationship takes, however, as long as the love and empathy between them remains genuine and real, I'll be extremely happy!

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sofoulandfairaday · 8 months

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Lupin hc I’m begging!

Okay, so.

I hate Fanon Moony with a passion. So before I even say anything here are some Remus Lupin posts so we're on the same level with his characterization: 1) the best marauder characterization post, 2) canon Remus, 3) CANON Remus p.2

Good? Great.

Loving parents. Was absolutely the apple of both his parents' eyes; they loved him immensely and would have given him the world. The guilt Lyall felt over Greyback's attack was unspeakable and he did everything in his power to make Remus' life as comfortable as possible. Overprotective. Overbearing even, but always for his own good. They tried to protect him and comfort him with all that they had.

There were definitely incidents when Remus was a kid. Not only were his transformations extremely painful when he was a child but they were also hard to manage. Lyall and Hope did try their best but it broke their hearts to see him hurt & it was very difficult for them to deal with young Remus' injuries. They couldn't take him to a Muggle doctor after all and

The stigma towards werewolves in the Wizarding World is huge. There aren't enough stories that deal with what it's like to be one. If you're looking for a good read that integrates (not so) small details of the thousand small obstacles that being a werewolf poses while integrating them in an overarching (marvellous) plot, read Moonlit Marriage by @celestemagnoliathewriter (Remadora).

Constantly worrying about money.

He didn't even grow up poor, that's the thing. He grew up fairly decently (his parents weren't rich by any means but they had enough to stay afloat). However, they had almost no savings and when they died (First Wizarding War period) he was left with nothing. Being a werewolf also meant that he couldn't hold down a job.

So many insecurities. So many. About his appearance, his magical talent, his place in the wizarding world, himself.

Speaking of. Not a Greek god. Not a smooth-talking seven-foot-tall Casanova type. He was shorter than both Sirius and James, thin, covered in scars. Kind face.

Awkward. Might have even had a little stutter as a child.

Kind. Helpful. Grateful. Glad and still a little incredulous, after years, that James (& SIrius) might have picked him to be their friend.

The day James&Co announced they had become Animagi so that they could be with him was the best day of his life. Running with his friends under the moonlight is still the memory that first comes to mind when he's trying to cast a Patronus.

Disliked Sirius and James' mistreatment of Snape to a certain degree, but never enough to say anything, never enough to try and stop them (I doubt they would have, even for him).

Like the other Marauders, he adored James.

Sorry to break it to you, but Sirius and Remus were friends through James. They became extremely close only after Azkaban when they were all the other had left from the happiest time of their lives.

Could not grow a whole beard for the life of him.

The ultimate people-pleaser.

Polite.

The definition of passive-aggressive. (Y'all make him plain aggressive.)

An introvert.

A sub if I ever saw one.

Kind. Did I say kind? Maybe he didn't do enough for the victims of the Marauders' bullying because he definitely didn't have the balls to stand up to James & Sirius (and we clearly see this in SWM), but he would be helpful to any and all younger students who needed him.

Lily's study buddy, especially the last years. Remus was like her: good in school, but not as naturally gifted as Sirius and James. He wouldn't be the type to do well even without studying and he definitely had much better grades in his written tests than in practical classes.

This, combined with the fact that he was a massive bookworm meant he had a Hermione-like encyclopaedic knowledge of various subjects.

Unlike Lily, not the best at Potions (he says so himself in PoA)

Loved Care of Magical Creatures, they were always his area of interest as we see in PoA. Also (unrelated), something I've always asked myself: is there any curriculum at all for Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts? Every teacher just seems to teach whatever they like/enjoy more or their particular area of interest. I would have really liked to know what Lupin taught sixth and seventh years for example.

Tea over coffee for Remus (he's a bit of a tea snob, and drinks industrial quantities of the thing)

Not a big alcohol drinker - he doesn't like how it makes him lose control, and has never drunk alone without the Marauders in his youth. However, when times were tough after October 1981 he did indulge too much in it.

I can see him smoking a little bit of weed, not even for the feeling itself but because it helps him with some of his chronic pain.

Sweater vests and old comfy jumpers

If the Marauders had a Feminist king TM (WHICH THEY DIDN'T) it would have been him.

The Prank soured his relationship with Sirius exponentially. It was one of the reasons he thought Sirius was the spy. Everyone was paranoid at the time, questioning friends and allies left and right, but after spending seven years sleeping, eating, living alongside meek, shy, snivelling Peter Pettigrew, he could not picture him as a Death Eater.

The truth is that Sirius, for reasons we've already said, would have made Remus into a murderer. He would have killed Snape. One of their classmates, and when Remus was at his lowest too. It was such a huge betrayal of trust that their relationship fundamentally shifted forever.

He did not love his lycanthropy, would not wear it proudly. He was scared of himself in those moments, and extremely full of self-loathing. If they discovered a Cure tomorrow, he would take it without thinking twice.

#asks #answered #sorry this took a while #remus lupin #hp headcanons #the marauders #marauders era #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew

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althea-and-alcestris · 3 months

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Relations

Coming to the conclusion that Thea could relate to nearly all of the Overblot victims

Riddle - Overblotted due to effects of parental trauma, an overbearing and controlling mother and carrying the mindset of all rules must be followed all throughout his life because of her

Oh lord, Thea could relate to parental trauma a lot. Growing up with a controlling father and being the 'Golden Child' left its toll on her. Although Riddle's case never got too physical for all we know, Thea's father was not afraid to go to physical lengths (be it severe or mild) to get his point across. And due to this, she's damaged both mentally and physically. She can hide her scars from the world with makeup but she can never hide how broken her upbringing has made her, becoming way too polite to ever say no and fearing failure as if it was the day of judgement. She has a lot of trauma responses to certain things like yelling, sudden movements, being scolded, etc.

Leona - Overblotted due to trauma of always being second choice, never being recognized for his work and his plans being overwritten

Yeah our girl has one hell of an issue with wanting validation and recognition which she never got at home. She did her best, putting her blood sweat and tears into everything she was made to do only to be told that 'her best is not enough'.

Azul - Overblotted due to his insecurities and body image issues surfacing (and his contracts, the result of his hard work being destroyed but yk)

Oh boy. Yeah Thea suffered with body image issues and still suffers with insecurities also because of her father. She was forced on a strict diet to maintain a certain weight which her father said was because figure skaters are supposed to be skinny (which is not true but in reality he was just biased that beauty is in skinny) and that she should hide her scars because they make her hideous.

Vil - Overblotted due to never being good enough/pretty enough, always being cast as the villain, Neige LeBlanche (I don't like him, shoo)

As discussed earlier, Thea was always trying her hardest to meet expectations only for it to be never enough. She could never win in her father's game. Always shunned for her efforts failing to satisfy him and her beauty 'not being able to meet the standards'.

Malleus - Overblotted due to being isolated all his life, with everyone eventually leaving even Lilia who was always there for him

Thea was isolated since childhood because in her father's opinion, making friends/finding a love interest and all that fun stuff would only distract her from reaching the limits of her talent. So she was never allowed to socialize, go out alone and was homeschooled most of her life. Her only support used to be her mother who unfortunately passed away when Thea was only thirteen.

Thea is quick to step in when an Overblot happens, helping in since she relates so much and she does not want others to go through the same pain. But who is going to help her?

#In short everyone needs a therapist and Thea needs two and a better father #twst oc #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #oc lore #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit #malleus draconia

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old-school-butch · 28 days

Note

Thank you for having anon on, you must get a lot of hate, but i'm a hidden recently deprogrammed ex-TIF and i appreciate being able to... confess to being a woman without being hung for it. i know that when i come out with this i will lose most of my friends because my detransition will "invalidate" them all. they will push me out so they can remain "gay men".

i wanted to ask what you think about ex-TIFs? and if you've seen how it plays out when we (re)integrate into womanhood, from the side of women. i've only seen it from the side of TRAs and it's an excommunication and violent rejection. i'm going to lose my community, and i have (since i started looking into it) fully agreed with most radfem core beliefs you see here on tumblr.

i took testosterone for years, but i also stopped in 2019 because it made me so angry. i have no breasts and a deepened voice. i wonder how radfems might see me. will i seem like a returned traitor?

will other women be interested in me still? i'm bisexual, but was pushed to mainly date men as a TIF because those relationships were "gay" and dating women was hetero and "lesser" love. i don't want to center men anymore. but i have no breasts, and i have no woman's voice. do women care? i don't know.

i ask you because you are older and maybe you would know. my best wishes to you. thank you.

I keep anon on for just this reason, because I remember how insane I felt when I found the courage to stop pushing aside those thoughts that, surely, everyone knows we're making all this up and just being nice, right?

It's an unfortunate part of human nature that it's easier to con someone than persuade them they've been conned. Once the con is taken up, it's agonizing to admit it and pull away from it. You have to live with the harms you've done along the way, which I admit to and which will eventually weigh on you as well. It's not easy, especially when your immediate friends will be harsh with you. If they don't cast you out, you might find yourself self-isolating to pre-emptively remove yourself and spare yourself the pain.

I'm not going to lie, you will encounter women who regard you as a traitor because they, themselves, have not come to terms with the harms they've done, or they've been lucky enough to not have been tested on this crucible and can't believe that anyone can be turned so upside down as we have.

However, you're not alone. I have no statistics but in meeting younger lesbians I'd guess at least 1 in 3 of them are detransitioners from varying stages of identifying as trans. If you are same-sex attracted or gender non-conforming in any way, today's society will digest that as 'trans?' and without saying a word you will find yourself being they/them without ever asking, and transition will be suggested if you suffer from so much as a bad period cramp or any frustration with your body. As women and as lesbians, we experience so much pain that society ignores, and the most powerful articulation of that anguish in our time is 'this can't be the body I'm meant to be in.' Like anorexia, dissociative identities, cutting and other expressions of female despair, we are permitted to lash out destructively as long as we bring down that rage on our own bodies. We continue to inhabit these scarred battlefields long after the fighting has moved on.

I guess the main thing to know is that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect that the 'part of my story where I was convinced I was trans' is going to be part of the coming-out pantheon for lesbians in the future that is as common as having a crush on a straight friend and have the talk with your parents. I don't think having breasts or a deeper voice will condemn you to loneliness, I don't think anyone can blame you for what's happening or being swept up in it. If they do, you can ask them why they didn't stop you, why their voices didn't reach you when you needed it most, and why - now that you've found your own way home with very little help from anyone around you - they aren't appreciating the courage and effort it took for you to find your way.

Welcome home, sister.

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a-friendly-fangirl · 8 months

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Random thoughts on We're in Love (or "Your average Italian girl has had an awful week and Boygenius' love saves her ass again"):

So, I've been listening to the Boys and to their solo stuff the whole week (for the past 5 months, to be honest... but who's counting?) and I've been going crazy lately for the beauty of We're in Love.

I think we can all acknowledge that that song is one of the greatest songs in "The Record" and one of the best ever written. And then I started bawling, when my mind got stuck on its lyrics and realised just how heartbreaking and beautiful it is.

This will be kind of my personal analysis (also inspired by some suggestions here and there... thank you to all the geniuses around that have noticed certain things. I wish I could write down all your names, but my memory is awful), so if you disagree with it or feel the need to add something, do it. I'd be happy to meet more Boygenius fans!

Ok, I'd like to begin with the third and fourth line of the first verse, where Lucy sings: "I don't need the symbol of a scar/ So put down the knife, we're not swapping blood". And yet, in "The film", Julien still takes a blood oath with the young versions of Lucy and Phoebe. I think that this was such an interesting choice to make, considering the difference between the words and the actions. This actually makes sense though, when underlining that 20$ is Julien's song and these words belong to Lucy.

Julien, as her solo albums readily witness, has no real problem with hurting herself ('Cause I'm so good at hurting myself - Brittle Boned) both physically and psychologically. We also know, from 20$, that she does believe in being connected to Phoebe and Lucy in every universe or life (In another life we were arsonists). Lucy does too with them (And I told you of your past lives; In the next one [life], will you find me? - We're in Love). Same goes for Phoebe, even though it's a little more subtle with her. In fact, more than believing in other lives, she seems to believe in changing herself in the present life, so much that, even though Emily I'm Sorry is her song, she has decided to sing it with her best friends, because, maybe, she'd rather be someone that can be loved by them in particular and not someone only Emily "could want".

To better understand the scar line/imagery, I think it important to notice that Julien doesn't take the blood oath with her adult friends but with their younger selves. In my opinion, it's like a machine has brought them in Julien's universe or timeline to help her get out of her home, which, listening to her music, is a synonym of recovery or at least of a better state of mind (in Go Home and Please Stay, it is quite clear: "I wanna go home, I'm sick", while in Graceland Too she finally gets out once she's feeling better). But, not belonging there (and we know they don't thanks to Julien's surprised expression when she sees little Phoebe), pehaps she's afraid that she'll lose them once they're done with the car, therefore asking them to do that oath. Childhood scars never fully leave us, so Julien might be convinced that it'll help adult Phoebe and Lucy to remember her, once they meet as intended or hoped.

When you think about it, the layers here are so many that it's scary. Scars have always at least a touch of negativity, even when you get them for something not negative per se (I have so many scars I got from running around as a child...), because they always follow pain. Julien and Phoebe have dealt with it their whole life and have actively put themselves through it more than once, so of course Julien chooses to use a knife (which also brings us back again to Please Stay: "The hunting knife you kept by your bed". I don't think the mention in We're in Love is a coincidence) against herself if it means being sure Phoebe and Lucy know it's her. But Lucy stops her for two main reasons:

Julien won't have to wait for them to find her, because she and Phoebe will, according to Lucy, be the ones going to her, if they want to (Will you find me?);

Instead of remembering each other through something painful, they could use the happy and positive memories they've shared in this life. Lucy once again wants to do everything in her power to dismantle her friends' self-destructive tendencies and replace them with something good (even the "happy" in Letter to an Old Poet was her suggestion).

Moving on to the next lines (Isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?/ Cold and porcelain like bathers in a painting), the beauty of this specific portrait delivered by Lucy kind of proves the point just made. Saying that the skin is "cold" and "porcelain" delivers a poetic image of extreme fragility that could be both literal or figurative and it shows just how much they trust each other. What Lucy appears to be pointing out is that she doesn't need any more pain to believe they're in love with each other, since they've already done the great sacrifice of showing themselves when they were most vulnerable (something they're still learning to do, according to recent interviews).

In Lucy's specific case (And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been/ It wasn't flattering, but you listened like it mattered), I'd go as far as to think that she did that by letting Phoebe and Julien listen to the stories of her past friendships or even relationships, telling them whom she had had by her side before them. She sings that that tale wasn't flattering: why? If I had to express myself on that, I'd guess, by her albums, that, just like any other human being, even Lucy has had a lot of troubled bonds with people she might have wrongly thought were as true and loyal to her as the Boys are now (take Strange Torpedo, Nonbeliever or Brando as examples). My personal take on this part is that she hasn't tried to tell Phoebe and Julien who they've been in the past, but to confess them who had had their roles in her life previously, feeling perhaps embarassed by it. But they're in no way bored or mad at her for that, listening, however, "like it mattered" (quoting True Blue: "It doesn't matter anymore", 'cause they're together now, but it is still important to her that they are paying attention to this part of her story).

She also admits being open to them about her own insecurities, especially the fear of being or seeming crazy (I feel crazy in ways I never say/ Will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?/ I know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway), making herself vulnerable by exposing this side of her she usually keeps hidden in hope of being reassured by them, which they've probably done a thousand times already.

Long story short, coming to the end of the first chorus: Lucy loves and values them for the trust they've put in each other and no scar will ever match that feeling. I have a lot more to say about the rest of the song, but this is mostly me ranting about it, so I'll see how it goes. Sorry for all of this :P

#boygenius #julien baker #lucy dacus #phoebe bridgers #i love them #music #we're in love #lyrics analysis

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ur-frndly-neighborhood-memer1 · 1 year

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Luz's Trauma Is Downplayed

In The Owl House, we've seen many kinds of trauma, abuse and abusive relationships.

Hunter is the most noticeable example. It's easy to see his PTSD because we've witnessed the abuse that he suffered from his "uncle"s hand.

And it's hinted that it was Belos who gave Hunter the scars on his cheek and ear.

Just like how he gave him the new scars...

So we know that Hunter is a victim of long life abuse and very likely to suffer from PTSD (or "Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" to be clear)

No wonder why he was having panic attacks in season 2.

And it's the same case for Amity. We've seen her stormy relationship with her parents.

And especially with her mother. Because Odalia isn't only strict but also a narcissistic mother who was emotionally abusive towards Amity.

And her father was mostly neglectful towards her too.

So just like Hunter, it's easy to see Amity's trauma.

And for Eda's case, we've seen her broken relationship with her sister in season 1 finale.

How her own sister cursed her for the sake of being a member of Emperor's Coven, a dream that shared by both sisters. And we saw Eda giving up on her dream because she didn't want to fight her sister. But Lilith on the other hand, went as far to curse her own sister...

Their backstory was the best but also the most tragic part of the season 1 for me.

We also saw clear flashbacks about Eda's past during "Knock, Knock, Knockin' Hooty's Door". We saw her family tragedy when her cursed form took out her father's eye, we saw her break-up with Raine... Basically, we saw how mentally broken and depressed she really was underneath that funny and sassy Owl Lady image. And let's be honest, this attitude is nothing but a coping mechanism to deal with guilt hurting her loved ones, fear of losing them and pain of her broken dreams...

Not even mentioning "Eda's Requiem" when her abondement issues got exposed to the audience for the first time. And she afraid of being lonely so much that she literally got suicidal at the end...

And even Willow!

I say "even" because her dads never appeared abusive, just lowkey strict.

Like, how they forced her to be placed in abomination coven even though she obviously had no interest in it and was struggling a lot.

However, Willow's trauma doesn't lie in her family life, but rather in her school life.

She was constantly bullied by Amity, Boscha and their gaang. She was underestimated, made fun of; felt worthless because of this negative treatment by her classmates...

Again, we can see Willow's struggle and empathize with her quickly, especially because we've seen that she was being bullied in the very first episode that she appeared.

HOWEVER

We know very little about how Luz's life was like before she went to Boiling Isles.

Yes, we had some brief flashbacks in "Thanks To Them", but even then, we've seen them from Camila's perspective, not from Luz's.

There are a few hints that giving Luz was being bullied in the school due to her antics and neurodivergent behaviors.

Such as in "Knock, Knock, Knockin' Hooty's Door"

You can see how stressful and nervous she looks here. Which makes sense because she was afraid that Amity was going to reject her and find her cheesy... just as how it happened back in the human world too.

So it's very likely that Luz had a crush on someone, but was rejected and made fun of due to her weirdness. (Honestly, who would reject this cute, pretty little goofball?!)

"Oh no! I'm gonna be made fun of again" This line makes it clear I think.

And then when she can't hold herself anymore, Luz starts panicking and destroying everything in the Tunnel of Love.

Most people were focused on Amity's sadness here, which is normal since the camera also focus on her instead of Luz who is busy destroying the stuff.

And apart from this, we know that Luz didn't have any friends except the "imaginary ones".

This is literally all we know about Luz's social life, and most of these are still semi-canon since it's never been truly revealed.

The only we know about Luz's social/family life is that she has a very loving mother (which is great) but also that she is dealing with a deep feeling of grief and pain due to losing her father at such a young age...

It's not exactly revealed what happened to Manny Noceda, but since Camila said that they had to move somewhere closer to a good hospital in order to cure him, we can say he was sick with a deadly disease (perhaps cancer?)

While saying it like that, it may seem like a lot about Luz's personal life was revealed in the show, but believe me, that's far from being the case...

Luz's traumas are often ignored by fandom. And the reason is the show is ignoring Luz.

Think about it, she's the protagonist so she's supposed to have the spotlight, right?

But no, we know much more about Eda, Hunter and Amity's personal lifes. I'm not saying this to complain, their own stories are also very interesting, especially Eda's. But still, it's no excuse to ignore the main character.

For all we know, Luz was bullied and made fun of in school, like Willow.

She was afraid of rejection, like Amity.

She is manipulated and scarred by Belos, like Hunter.

She is secretly depressed because of her relationship with father, like Eda.

But despite being deeply hurt and broken, why don't most of us acknowledge Luz's trauma?

Well, we have Disney to thank for this... Due to shortening The Owl House, we lost a great opportunity to know more about Luz.

However, this isn't the only reason...

Despite the fact that the show is shortened, we still have detailed informations about other characters like Eda, Amity, Hunter...

But the reason why Luz was ignored is also Dana Terrace's fault too. She often neglected Luz and focused more on other characters.

Maybe some people will disagree with me, but still, it's undeniable that Luz was neglected as a character and barely had the spotlight despite being the protagonist.

It's not only Luz though. Gus and King's backstories aren't even revealed or foreshadowed at all. We know little to no about them. Yeah, King is a Titan and Gus' dad is called Perry, and what else?

Like yeah, at least I was able write a few things about Luz. But there was almost nothing to write about Gus and King.

I wish we could have a full season 3 and then a season 4, we'd at least have some time to see everything without hurry.

Now I can only hope to have a good final episode. I sure hope "Watching and Dreaming" will be a good finale.

#the owl house willow #the owl house eda #the owl house amity #the owl house luz #the owl house hunter #the owl house gus #the owl house king #Dana Terrace #lilith clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #eda x raine #Luz noceda #Amity Blight #Hunter #Willow Park #gus porter #Lumity #the owl house watching and dreaming #Disney

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 9 months

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for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie longass notes for chapter nineee:

-Beard! Jake is such a funny image. It’s long and flowing, maybe he braids it Omaticaya style.

-Baby Spider’s return!! God I missed him and Jake’s little lab bonding time. It's such a clear image in my head, same as their little hammock is to me. I always love when a scene is so tangible for me.

-Me and Jake holding hands and never forgetting what Tsantu did. We will never get over it and we will never forgive him.

-You’ve got metaphors on top of similes in this chapter, babe. How many ways to describe Jake’s eyes bingo. I'd cut some. I tend to go harsher with my edits for Andrei, but I've never done that for you so idk let me know if that's not your vibe! I think I had one person ask for harsher long notes and it's on my docket, but it was not you!

-HAHA Kiri and the other kids constantly reminding Jake about how cool every scar they have is while he goes into cardiac arrest.

-KSKSKKS Lo’ak is so LITTLE COMPARED TO THEM. HE’S ONLY TWO. HOW DID HE BECOME BABY? DID YOU DECIDE HE SHOULD BE BABY?? DO I JUST NOT UNDERSTAND THE PASSAGE OF TIME??

-I adore the Max and Norm cameo it is flawless, I hope they keep sending each other shit. I am unclear as to what they mean by can they use some of it. Do they mean as evidence against the RDA? That’s my best guess.

-Neteyam: yay what a great day to finally hang out alone with my best friend and brother!

Spider: let’s go into this scary area.

Neteyam: oh.

-Lol of course Spider found hIS MOMS dead body and ship because he is literally Eywa’s favorite and least favorite. He’s the main character. All the shit happens to him. You know that funny saying, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, that's Jake comforting Neytiri and Spider. "Eywa gives her toughest battles to her strongest soldiers."

-The fear of having a disabled child, or even just a chronically ill child balanced with letting them live their own lives? It’s such a great concept to explore in Spider, and I love Neytiri doing it. Jake was human, he’s used to them, but Neytiri would have never seen a kid break an arm or an ankle or dislocate a shoulder or anything like that. It's horrible and scary for any person to see happen to their kid, but yet you know the kid will be fine. For Neytiri there is none of that background knowledge and comfort. It’s such a painful but interesting concept I adore it every time I see it.

-I also like audibly cooed at her making Jake foods he likes all the time because she wants to make up for food on Earth being shit all the time. That is the sweetest thing I've ever read gOD I love jeytiri.

-Jake snorting himself awake has me dEAD, simply cACKING, but also it’s so sweet because you kNOW his ass never slept deeply after the war, or before on Earth. He only sleeps deeply in the cuddle pile and I’ll cry. Him and Neteyam both, Neteyam will wake up at the slightest sound uNLESS he's in the family cuddle pile.

-Neteyam and Spider are the twins that came to literally like, stab Jake in the heart occasionally by reminding him of Tommy. You kNOW sometimes they cuddle or run off together and he can’t breathe for a second because they look like two different kids of a different species.

-You fucked up, potter is the british version of putter. I’m laughing when the British or Irish slang slips in. I only mention it because of your authors note saying you were trying to catch them all lol.

-Oh my god Neytiri going to say goodbye and reassure Paz that she has Spider taken care of? That has my entire heart and soul.

-Hilarious of Neytiri to specifically call human technology stupid names. That’s so funny. She’s like “Jake, someone is calling you on the stupid dumbass square.”

-Jake and Neytiri now must keep up the ruse of science being a swear for years to come. Norm says science on a call one time and they all gASP and cover Spider's ears.

-Norm and Max better come back with the RDA, like they sneak aboard and come to apologize to Jake and fuck shit up in person. I know that isn't the point but I miss them deeply.

-Neytiri at all times just lowkey at defcon 1 just like, always on the fucking razors edge. She is so full of unhealed and unchecked trauma and PTSD it's almost hilarious.

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mustangs-flames · 7 months

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What I love about chapter 6 INWCT is that most of the positive associations alt Cesar has been making get flipped on their head in like two minutes. Marks hands were warm. That was one of the first signs that alt Cesar was becoming human more than just acting. You know what else is warm? Blood. I'm going to assume when he got shot, he put his hands over it either to stop the blood from coming out, or because it hurt super bad. So that sucks, to have warm blood spilt all over your hands replacing the warmth of who used to be your friend, effectively ruining it, like EDMR gone wrong. Not only that, but also the fact that the blood would have gotten the bandages on his hands dirty. Judging by the scar map, the cuts all at least reached dermis, or it reached fascia since the skin on the hands is thinner. Both (deep) dermis and fascia cuts gape open, but you can tell the difference by the color underneath. When the blood is wiped away, dermis will be white, and fascia will be yellow with bumps. With facia cuts, you must go to the hospital, and the only exception is if you are extremely skilled at and familiar with taking are of wounds. If you want to take care of it at home, you have two options, stitches, or steri-strips. Since most people aren't able to stitch themselves or others up, they should use steri-strips to close the wound. The only problem is that with so many cuts close together, by closing one with a steri-strip, you would be opening another one. For now, let's just say they are deep dermis at most. They would take a few weeks to a month to heal since they don't heal instantly like they're meant to, so it's safe to assume he would still have the bandages on his hands. Mark always helped change the bandages and kept them clean so the cuts wouldn't get infected. Not this time. Now, the blood on the bandages will never be cleaned. Mark hates it, and even if he didn't, it is getting sent to the void with the damage from the bullet. The last part I can think of is how it was starting to have memories, emotions, and pain during its time as Cesar. His memories have informed it of things that it thought it would never understand, but was starting to, like music and hanging out with friends. Then they informed it that what has happened, that really should have been impossible, was worse than it thought. It could feel pain and emotions that it was never supposed to feel, and they hurt. It didn't get to have a small amount of pain or a controlled kind of pain when it first felt it. Its first experience of pain was getting shot in the chest by their best friend. Physical pain, but emotional as well. Mark had shown it things like happiness, affection, sadness, and anger. It was interesting how it all worked. He had been able to experience some emotions as well. But, like pain, some emotions hurt, a lot. He was able to feel desperation, and maybe even fear. Desperation in this context and fear are feelings that are worse than the other emotions because it means it has failed completely and become no better than the humans it was supposed to kill. And not to mention all of this was caused by the same person. It must feel like the ultimate betrayal to have someone show you all the amazing things about being human only to murder you with everything that hurts about being human. No wonder they're angry.

Damn, I wasn't expecting such a long ask! Thank you for sending it in though! /gen

Yeah, suddenly flipping all the positive associations alt!Cesar had learned to use it all against him in Chapter 6 of INWCT was 100% deliberate on my end lol

The bloodstained bandages on alt!Cesar's hands (from where he had tried to stop the bleeding) also becomes very significant later on as part of his character design when he gets out of the void. There will also be even more changing pronouns as alt!Cesar tries to convince himself that he is still it though his conscience tells him otherwise. He tries very hard to separate himself from the real Cesar and despises that he is now trapped in a body that looks and sounds and has the memories of the exact person he doesn't want to be. Mark is no longer the only one to despise his reflection in the mirror :)

I'm very excited for his return to the narrative so I can explore all of this!

#hail true body au #mustang answers!#htb alt!cesar #poor little alternate pulled a fucky wucky and got slapped with humanity (and a bullet) lmao #thank you so much for sending in this ask! i love it when people want to share their thoughts on any of the fics <3 #tw: injury #tagging just in case

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fated-normal-767 · 2 months

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You ever heard of that myth where the guy royally pisses off demeter and she basically makes him so starved he eats himself? That’s Eris to me .

And also,,,,, so many thoughts about how…. Blasphemous his very existence is? Like how many times has he wondered if he even COUNTS as alive with the way he lives? The way his very birth was considered enough reason to damn him to basically a lifetime of sin . And not to be weird about religions I wasn’t even raised in but ,,,,,, hhhhhh something something Eucharist and the inherent holiness of the most foul thing a person could do etc etc etc ,,,,,,, (yes that is something I directly stole from TMA and will continue to steal idc what anyone tells me)

But also,,,, letalis & phantasm ?

oh exactly he’s so fundamentally fucked up and I love him . because of his skill his blood is actually a dark blue, and I originally chose it because Interesting Colour but. the way the term “blue blood” means royalty or an aristocratic bloodline. Just . this thing is so unnatural and if a god exists I doubt they made xem. but. their blood which is the main thing that draws the line between them and everyone else is the exact same as the idea that describes royalty. yeah I’m normal about this.

“Not to be weird about religions I wasn’t even raised in but” < should literally be at the start of all of my poasts because I am doing that every single day. I think the cruelest thing about eris is that he does not just do this on his own, he doesn’t just kill to live; he drags phantasm and letalis into addictions too. That’s like a form of religion to me. Look at this act condemned by everyone and trust me enough to live with yourself after it’s done. If I am cursed to do this to live, you can do it and live with the curse of the knowledge and then we will be the same. He doesn’t even always eat entire corpses even though it’d be more efficient for him to do so. He wants to leave evidence. It’s not survival, it’s a performance, and a threat.

Right . Phantasm and letalis.

Both letalis and phantasm ‘worked’ with xem at some point, and ended up with handprint-esque burn scars on their shoulders/shoulder blades to prove this, though letalis’ was covered by the explosion scar from the building collapse, and phantasm’s scar was on shimmer as it occurred before they had separate bodies, but shimmer (moderately horrifying concept) scraped it off with steel wool so there was still a scar but it no longer represented anything to do with eris and healed like a normal scar rather than a chemical burn. They had the scar for a while before they did this. Phantasm gets another scar when they get their own body. Though both of them lose the scars at some point, phantasm is willing to let eris do it again, where letalis is much more reluctant, and refuses.

Eris also learnt to design extremely efficient painkillers from chemical compounds found in their own blood, as they developed immunity to other painkillers and also became unable to get them from shops when they were found out to be killing people. They shared these with letalis and phantasm as they did technically work more effectively than market painkillers, but were very very addictive. Letalis has to start taking them after she gets caught in the explosion (“has to”, they already had a small addiction, but the pain from the injuries and muscle trauma meant she developed a reliance). This was at the same time as she was trying to distance herself from eris, but due to the reliance on something only he had, was nearly unable to leave without risking her health. Phantasm is also shown to have an addiction to these, though they’re suffered no particular injury to cause this, and it refuses to stop taking them. It also overdoses a few times as it isn’t used to how much their living body can handle and live. Eris doesn’t seem bothered by this, but does describe both letalis and phantasm as his best friends.

#theproject.#yeah xer . xe sure is.

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toxic-ship-tournament · 1 year

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ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 5

13. Theodore Antonov x Cito Putnum ( @pixelpancake246 / @pixelsdoodles ) vs CEO x Arowana ( @owo-whats-bliss )

who makes up your ship?:

Theodore Antonov and Cito Putnum (OCs from my original story Coastal City Dudes)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Theo and Cito have been best friends for YEARS. Met when they were around 10/11, and have been by eachother's side since. Theo was raised in a cult, and the rest of his life wasn't much better. They certainly have. A Dynamic. So, they're best friends, as previously mentioned. Completely inseparable, both being in love with the other, leading to very unfortunate circumstances. Cito is very self-sacrificial in his love for Theo, often disregarding his own happiness and well-being to make sure Theo's happy. Theo on the other hand, is so deprived of love and affection that he clings onto and takes advantage of Cito's undying devotion to him. Both are aware of this on some level, but refuse to see it. Denying that there's anything wrong in the first place. There's a lot of little things with them. Cito is a recovering addict, having struggled with abusing alcohol and various other substances since high school. Despite this, Theo regularly does drugs around him and when he was still taking his medications, he wouldn't secure them, leading to Cito overdosing one afternoon. When drunk or high on drugs, Cito has a hard time controlling himself, which tends to manifest in reckless behavior and a hard time keeping his anger in check. Anger issues are something he's dealt with for forever but have repressed well for Theo's sake, rarely letting himself feel or show anything besides positive emotions around anyone. When he's not sober, Cito can get violent, usually towards Theo because of his deeply bottled up frustrations and pain with him. In high school, they were on complete ends of the social hierarchy. Cito was the star of their schools football team, he was insanely popular and liked by all, whereas Theo was a quiet, depressed, loser with no real friends besides Cito. He was constantly bullied, Severely. Often, Cito would stand in the way of this, standing up for Thei since they're best friends and people listen to him. But, he's worried and scared that if he lets up too much, he'll be next, so sometimes, occasionally enough, he lets them beat Theo up, sometimes right in front of him. In their 20's, Theo was dating and eventually engaged to a woman named Rita Barreau, which you can imagine broke Cito's heart because he's been madly in love with Theo for forever. A few months before their planned wedding date, Theo and Rita got into a brutal car accident where Rita died on impact and Theo barely survived, clinging on to what little of a life he had. Ironic really, that this guy who has been incredibly suicidal his whole life gets to live when his girlfriend who tended to act out of self-interest and preservation, dies. The accident didn't just end Rita's life, but changed Cito and Theo's irreparably. Theo became paranoid, secluded and lost in grief, while Cito did what he does best and bottled up his own grief. This is most explicitly shown through thow visibly and undeniably Theo's grief and depression (both extrapolated by the incident but also from before) has affected him, being decorated head to toe in gruesome scars of both an accidental and self-mutilating nature. The accident gave both of them PTSD, but it took almost two decades for Cito to be diagnosed because he had denied it over and over thinking he shouldn't have been that effected by it and that Theo had it much worse. I could go on and on, but I feel like this is already WAY long enough. I hope this gave a good idea on why I think they're perfect for this tournament!

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

I don't actually tag anything with their ship on Tumblr I believe, just both their names in whatever I post of them in the tags, but I do have a yt playlist! https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjVZH50W2oJUVy-P6jXJobjPidG3MM0uW (PS unsure how to send multiple files through Google docs?? but I assure there's way more theocito art than the one piece I submitted)

****

Art by @eggldritchfish

who makes up your ship?:

CEO (human) and Arowana (the weird fish thing)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

They do extremely unethical experiments on people together under the guise of saving them, but Arowana is just using them to eat the people while telling CEO that that was a last resort. CEO is hopelessly devoted to them, both romantically and religiously, and uses everything he has financially and emotionally to support whatever they do (even to him). Arowana is initially only using him, but falls in love and becomes unhealthily obsessed, threatening to harm those who look at him. CEO is a human, Arowana is a god, keeping him alive no matter what happens to him. (Also, Arowana does have a human form, they're just not in it 80% of the time.)

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

None of those, but I think about them to the songs "Hakidasu" by Mao Sasagawa and "god, please () me, a monster"

#pixelpancake246 #owo-whats-bliss #theodore antonov x cito putnam #ceo x arowana #toxic ship tournament

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theoriginaltortuga · 9 months

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Thoughts and opinions on Connor and Devon through the it lives series

warning: long post, very rambly, and spoilers abound

So this might go in headcanon territory but ill try to keep it general for this post

ILITW:

I’ll admit connor was like the fourth LI i romanced after i started playing it lives and even then it was only because i had a specific playthrough i wanted. I don’t know how other people do it, but i changed my MCs personalities and appearances based on what i wanted their ending and final nerve score to be. So Devon Hernandez, my sole survivor, needed to be kind of a prick, or at least have severe foot in mouth syndrome, while maintaining the highest nerve he could and dating Connor was the best for that

But alas I fell hard for this character i previously skipped a lot of dialogue for. Connor is a wannabe bad boy in the best possible way, he’s got the leather jacket, the cool car, and the fighting skills, all while being “forbidden” by being Stacy’s brother. (won’t lie i was expecting a slight conflict from that even if it was just in flavor text, but im not mad that she was cool with it)

the banter between him and Devon really worked for me, and i loved how even outside of the romance specific scenes there was still acknowledgment of the relationship (whether thats a failing on pb’s part or done because he’s technically on screen less than the others im not sure)

More on personality, Connor is interested but not pushy, acts like he’s “not too good” while being too good at all times, a caring person and a fun one, an affectionate boyfriend and doesn’t put up with people’s shit. I realized i actually cared about him the second he offered to take Devon to a diner with burgers the size of their face

Main Route (connor and MC live, all their friends are dead) :

Jumping through time to ilw and him and Devon are horndogs living together in a cabin and scarring their friends with their sex life, which was a direction i wasn’t expecting but one i loved anyway. Again all the small acknowledgements of their relationship killed me and pet names are always a win. Connor evolved from background character and “The Love Interest” to a semi-main badass.

One thing i loved about it lives within is that all the characters from the previous books felt like themselves in a way that’s hard to explain but basically you just bought that these were the exact same characters and the fact that it was a completely different writer never crossed my mind

There is a kind of maturity in Connor and Devon’s relationship that is nice to see because they have been together 4 years, while still staying true to the versions of them we first met

This route ended with Connor proposing to Devon and getting them their beautiful house with the porch swing and several dog children and I loved the final moments of happiness in their otherwise kind of heartbreaking story

Good Route (connor and MC live, everyone lived):

Basically the same as above, though I will say I love the idea that the whole memorial Stacy knew exactly what was about to go down and I may or may not nudge aside the idea that Devon let their friendships fall to shit and their all like bridesmaids or groomsmen, its not that them falling apart again is unrealistic or bad, it just makes me kind of sad so I ignore it in my own hc

Bad Route (connor and noah live, everyone else died and then so does Connor):

The one i just finished playing and all the interactions between Connor and Redfield!MC were so sweet and i loved them but it always held that kind of bittersweet feeling.

I played with Noah also being into Devon which was also painful, but the line “i suspected for a while now” made me laugh because all i can imagine is an internal montage of Noah being annoyed at Connor and Devon’s affection and constantly looking at Devon with heart eyes and Connor just like “wow i should’ve clocked that like last year”

i have a lot to say on the Devon being comforted scene that i will save for the hc post but the call back to “too good” was *chefs kiss*

And towards the end realization that Connor was a horror, the accidental hope i gave the crew, and then Connor’s horrific (in the best possible way) death was so wonderfully written. You know when you read something so good that you just have to do a couple laps around the room? That was me.

Rowan flung Connor into the fucking ceiling and the description of his blood dripping onto them and Devon was just so gnarly. Devon has lost everything, watched most of the people they loved be brutally murdered before their very eyes, and is lashing out while also being sort of aware that its not really Rowans fault which speaks a lot to their character but it hurt so freakin much

and don’t even get me started on the graveyard scene and the parallels with the other Redfield!MC graveyard scene, metal rose and all. I mentioned it before but my Devon in this route is just burnt out on love and friendship and people in a way that i’ll get into more in a hc post but yeah he’s not finding love again and i don’t think he’d ever want to

In conclusion, i love connor and devon together and I thank the og ilitw writers for writing their relationship and the ilw writers for making it even better and tearing my heart apart along with Connor’s and Devon’s in very different ways

#Connor Green #connor x mc #ILW #does this make sense or is it just rambly #oh well #It Lives Within #oc: devon hernandez

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