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bonny-kookoo · 11 months

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Jungkook

𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 : 𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲

Some things just aren't meant to be.

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt & Comfort, Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of depression and depressive thoughts, heartbreak, homelessness, it's a bit heavy sorry, mentions of mental abuse and manipulation, betrayal, slow burn, eventual smut, dead dove do not eat

Dead Dove do not eat: warning for potentially triggering content that can't be tagged without spoiling the story.

Length: 2.4k Words.

-> Masterlist

~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~

"I'll take the left side, you look in the parking lots outside." Yoongi instructs, leaving Jungkook on his own- and he's stuck in place for a moment.

In an odd way, he knows where you could be hiding- because you've hidden here before, when you'd accidentally followed him outside, but got confused where to go since you haven't lived with him for even just a week yet. He remembers how you cowered in a corner at one of the spots where the bikes are put, little roof over it protecting them from rain- and also providing good shelter for you the entire day. He knows, right now, you probably do the same thing.

But his biggest problem is that he doesn't know what to do if he even finds you.

What's he supposed to do then? Sweep you off your feet like prince charming and take you home like nothing happened? It doesn't work like that, the problems from back then still exist today after all. You're clearly not well off at Hanako's, making it evident in the fact that you willingly ran away. And he can understand it.

But you also can't go into the hybrid care system due to his own company making sure you won't 'talk' to anyone who might ever adopt you. No one wants an older hybrid loaded with problems and legally binding NDA's at the end of the day, so your chances at ever really being adopted into a new home are pretty much zero. And if you are- there's a high chance those people will end up using you for higher gain. To defame him or his company, possibly.

And you can't go back with him, even if you wanted to.

Because with him, you'll have to go through all the harassments and forever continuing problems that Jin's now wife had to go through as well- probably even worse, considering you're not a human, but a hybrid of all things. He himself couldn't care less about the things people will probably say about him. They'll call him a fetishist, a pervert, whatever- it won't change what he's achieved in the past, the life he'd been able to life up until this point. But you don't deserve that. You don't deserve any of that hate you'll surely receive.

He should've thought about that before. But he didn't.

So in a way, he hopes for a while that he doesn't find you. That he's wrong, that you've escaped everyone, that you'll start a new life somewhere else maybe, far away from him and the consequences of his actions. But he's not that lucky. He never is, isn't he?

Your reflecting eyes stare at him from the corner you're hiding in, wide open, staring at him- and he doesn't know what to do.

He hasn't seen you in a while. Have you lost weight? Hanako promised him you were eating your meals properly, but looking at you, he worries she might've lied to him to simply soothe his anger a little. Your bright white hybrid tail and ears are grey-ish, dirty, and you just look terrified. He's never seen you like this.

Has he turned you into this? If not with his own hands, then probably with his actions.

You're trembling, and he doesn't know what to do. Everything his mind comes up with is some sort of skinship, reassurance, but he can't lie and pretend like he can just hold you and everything will be fine. It won't- and he knows this.

"Its my fault, isn't it?" He says, just.. standing there, looking down at you while you're still cowering in your corner, trying not to let the rain get to you. It's stopped by now, only some faint drops still falling- but the water is everywhere at this point, and you don't want your shoes to soak it all up.

You've got no way to get them dry later.

"Its my fault." He says again. "I didn't.. think it trough. I thought-" he speaks mostly to himself it seems, gaze distant as he watches his own reflection in the puddle of water he's standing in. "I thought it would somehow all work out." He tells no one in particular, and you don't know what to say. You don't know if there even is anything to say.

"I was naive to think that.. you know, I could just play pretend for a while." He continues, taking a step away from you. "I was hoping I could work towards.. the world, the fans accepting the.. possibility of us one day.." he seems to break a little. "But then, when Seokjin announced his engagement, and all hell broke loose.. I felt like I couldn't put you through that too." He tears up. "I should've known. I should've.. expected that, but seeing it happen like this, it-" he shakes his head. "I had to do something. Anything to keep you safe." He softly speaks, like he's trying to make you understand.

Even though you do. You know why he did what he did, somewhat.

"I shouldn't have taken you with me in the first place." He says. "You.. even asked me. You were the more mature one back then- you.. tried to help, but I was stubborn. I still am." He shakes his head. "I didn't want to see what could happen. I wanted to believe." He says, before he suddenly leans down, knees hitting the wet puddle as he kneels down. "I ruined your life because of my own greed." He tells you, and you worry for him as you watch his pants soak up the cold water. "I ruined any future you could've had just because.. I wanted you." Jungkook tells you, before his hands dip into the shallow puddle in front of him, body folding over as he bows- instantly terrifying you. "Please forgive me." He says, and you instantly move to push against his shoulders.

It's not his fault. It's not- you could've done something too. You could've been born something else, someone else- someone he could've been able to love without having to choose between the life he wants and the life he chose. You could've never met him, could've turned away from him, could've never accepted his offer to so much as talk to you back at the carecenter.

It's not his fault. It can't be. Because if it is, he would admit that the love you both had had been a mistake too.

"No-!" You whine, as you push harder against his shoulders for him to sit back up, but he doesn't move. He's a strong guy after all, no match for you- but you still try.

"I'm sorry." He keeps ranting, and you get up now, uncaring of your soft fabric boots soaking up as you try and pull him up now.

But he won't move.

"No!" You shake your head, letting yourself fall onto the wet pavement as well, crying out of frustration as you hit his back. "No.." you whine, pitifully as your tears get the better of you, body aching for him to hold you. You're scared, you don't know what's to come now, what will happen- you don't want to be in this nightmare any longer, you've never wanted this in the first place. So your weak hits turn into nothing as you cry out his name, desperate for any kind of reaction. And only then does he sit up, giving you a chance of crawling into his lap, desperate for any kind of reassurance.

You don't care if he doesn't mean it. If he wants to push you off, you'll let him- but just for a split second, you want to be surrounded by him, pretend you're back at his apartment, back home where you'd been happy.

But he doesn't push you off, and maybe that's even worse.

He wraps his arms around you so much it hurts a little, but you couldn't feel more pain than at the sound of his sobs in your shoulder. He sounds distressed, like a child having lost its mother, like you did back when you were just a kitten having been told that your momma will never come back home. He sounds just like you that day, all confused, and scared, and nothing but upset.

About the world that moves on, uncaring of you both or the situation you find yourselves in.

"Jungkook.." a voice is heard behind him, a young man with an umbrella you recognize as Yoongi standing close but with a respectable distance, watching with a look on his face you can understand somewhat.

He probably doesn't know what to do either. Can't help, can't make it better.

No one can.

So you just close your eyes, and become a ghost, enjoying his warmth for one last time. That's all you can do for him, for you as well, at the end of the day.

Because some things just aren't meant to be.

"Jungkook- come on, let's get her-" Yoongi tries, but Jungkook slaps his hand away, holds you even tighter now, while the rapper can't do anything but watch.

"no.!" He pitifully shakes his head, burying it in your neck. "Don't.. take her yet." He begs, but Yoongi is now more concerned over you than the mental state of his friend. Your tail is unmoving, resting in muddy water behind you, while your arms hang limply at your sides, not holding onto the young man at all any longer. Something's not right- the pale inside of your cat ears, your unmoving state of being-

"Jungkook, please-" He asks again, trying to get closer, step by step, as if he's talking to a dangerous animal. Which- in a way, he is. "-We have to get her help, okay?" He asks, and only now do Jungkook's eyes snap open.

You're not holding onto him.

You're not doing anything, in fact.

His own blood runs cold at the way he spots your unmoving tail, drops from the metal roof dripping down on it, but it just won't move even an inch. And neither does the rest of you move. Have you always been this cold?

His breath quickens as he slowly moves his arms, holds you a bit further away from himself- and your head just flops down onto his shoulder, making him panic. You're so pale- you've got no color to your cheeks, nothing- what's happening to you?

"Jungkook, snap out of it!" Yoongi begs, trying to somehow get his friend to put you into the car so he can drive you to get medical attention- but Jungkook can't move.

He's frozen in place at the sight of you.

You're resting heavy against his body, and only now does he quite grasp the severity of the situation. He can hear Yoongi on the phone with someone, but he can't really make out the words, brain just not attempting to understand any of them as he moves his hands underneath your clothes. His hands are cold, he remembers you'd always jump away from him with a giggle, before he'd chase you around his apartment- but you do nothing. You're not even warm at all underneath all those layers.

This can't be happening.

"Yeah- hey, Jungkook, come on, lets bring her to the car, okay?" Yoongi coaxes him, and Jungkook nods after a moment, finally coming somewhat back into reality as he carries you to the opened trunk where Yoongi had put down the back seats so you'd have a lot of space to lay down on. When he puts you down, you still don't move. Why won't you move? Not even a flutter of your eyelashes- you're way too still.

"Yeah, I'm checking, but I don't know where it could be-" Yoongi talks into his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear, zipping open your coat to search for something it seems, while Jungkook can't do anything but watch. "I think I found it? Yeah, kind of, but it's all red, looks kind of like a bruise.." He explains, and Jungkook stares at the spot on the inside of your arm.

Hanako.

"Heat implant-" Jungkook stutters, looking at it. "I-it's a heat implant, Hanako said she's had it since the beginning of the year-" He rambles softly, eyes never leaving you, especially once he spots your chest rising and falling shallowly and quickly at the same time, while Yoongi repeats what he's said to whomever he's talking to.

"Yeah, we'll be on our way right now." He says, before he closes the trunk, and shoves Jungkook into the passenger seat before he gets in the car himself. "They're preparing for us right now- we'll bring her to the hospital right now." He offers, rushing as best as he can, before the large building comes into sight. "Jungkook."

"What-" The idol asks, having turned around the entire time to reach for your hand- even though it's cold, and you probably don't feel him holding it.

"The minute we arrive, there's a chance someone will take a picture, or a video, or anything." He reminds him with a serious expression. "You can either stay inside-"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head, holding your hand a bit tighter, looking back at you. "I'm done. I don't care anymore." He says.

"There's no coming back from this, Jungkook." Yoongi says again, parking near the emergency unit entrance where he can see several people already waiting for them, considering he'd called. They've put something like a tarp up, considering they know that Yoongi himself called- doing their best to shield anyone from potential media. But the chance still stands, and his words still hold weight.

But Jungkook doesn't answer- and instead gets out to open the trunk, carrying you into the emergency unit, where they take you from him for the last time.

Leaving him alone, with his thoughts, and a heavy heart that will probably never heal from this.

Taking your ghost with them, never to return.

Because down the line-

Some things just aren't meant to be.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine #bts jeon jungkook imagine

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maple-the-awesome · 15 days

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We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 33

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 3,712

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

Series Masterlist 🤎 Marvel Masterlist 🤎 Fandom Masterlist

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: SILENT TREATMENT

"You could at least try to be civil, you know."

Rolling his eyes is the only attention Bucky spares Sam, not that it helps his own case any. His lack of response and attempt at still pushing past the other man actually has the opposite effect, only adding fuel to the latter's annoyance which has been building ever since Madripoor.

Sam forces Bucky to stop against his outreached hand, "Are you really that upset over the whole Hollie thing to be acting like this?"

It's no surprise that he eventually found out about your 'little' argument back in Madripoor; it was pretty damn easy to put the pieces together after your sudden disinterest in confronting Nagel and Bucky's beyond sour mood. Clearly, he said something to piss you off during Sharon's party - likely even hurt you judging on the redness of your eyes Sam spotted this morning.

Bucky's shameless avoidance of you has already been picking at his nerves, although he can no longer stand turning a blind-eye to it. It's unwarranted, out of character, and above all childish - at least that's what he feels like saying right now, but he realizes anger won't solve anything, especially if coming from his mouth.

Maybe if Steve were here, expressing disappointment would cut deep enough to reach common sense, however Sam isn't Steve. He lacks any meaningful, nostalgic history to fall back on with Bucky or you, therefore any accusations on his part are more than likely to just be met with defensive responses. Instead, he needs to try the friendly approach.

Inhaling away his exasperation, he looks to Bucky with genuine concern, "...Alright,look: I don't understand what it's like to be in your guys' situation and I'm not going to pretend that I do, but obviously this game of giving the silent treatment is hurting both of you - you're hurting them...You can see that, right?"

Bucky dodges Sam's stare, hating the reminder his words serve as. Of course he knows your previous argument hurt you! He isn't stupid! ...Okay, maybe just a bit, but it's not like he meant to make you feel shitty back there! He just didn't want you in harm's way - not over something like the super soldier serum and not while in Madripoor.

Yes, there were better ways he could've asked you to stay behind. He fumbled the bag, and he wishes he could apologize for it - to clear things up so that you can, at the very least, be spared from taking any blame regarding this entire hole he's now dug under you both - however what's he exactly supposed to say? Is there even a nice way to cushion what he's truly thinking inside? What good would an apology be if it's promptly followed by telling the receiver he still doesn't want to be around them anymore?

"I know it's going to sound cliché and probably like some bullshit your counselor has already tried throwing at you, but I think if you could just sit down and talk to each other about how your feeling - be honest and get everything off your chest - it might -"

"- This doesn't involve you," Despite Sam's careful efforts, his interference only adds fuel to Bucky's internal fire exactly as he had tried to avoid. The super soldier easily shoves past his hand and stubbornly ascends the stairs, "The Dora Milaje want Zemo. I managed to buy us some time, but they're not going to wait forever."

"You're changing the subject -"

"- To something that matters. The fate of the world is at hand, Sam. Don't you think you should be more concerned with that than with me?" Bucky responds condescendingly, not allowing for any more objections before they're inside the safe house.

Not much has apparently happened in their absences. It didn't take Zemo long to get comfortable, having treated himself to a nice shower in the time that it took for Bucky and Sam to make their entrance. While the former goes to plop down on the couch alone, the latter joins you in the kitchen where, having been left unsupervised, you've taken the liberty of raiding each cupboard in search of the most expensive alcohol present.

"Wanna glass? Mendis Coconut Brandy~ Made from the nectar of a borassus flower then matured for ten years in wood casks," You make a show out of pouring yourself a generous amount, however your 'tempting' offer goes denied by Sam who takes a seat at the bar counter with a lack of amusement written all over his face.

"We need to figure out another plan of action. Not just sit here lounging around while getting drunk."

"This is how I get my neurons firing," You assert before shamelessly taking a long swig of your loot.

Aware of how difficult it would be to take alcohol away from a Stark, Sam elects to ignore your behavior in favor of getting on with business anyway, "Nagel was our best lead before someone killed him."

"Must we litigate what may or may not have happened?"

"It's not up for debate. You straight shot the man!"

"Might want to come up with that plan faster," You interrupt. With your brandy glass balanced in one hand and your phone in the other, you scroll through the latest relevant newsfeed, "Our little superhuman buddies just bombed a GRC supply depot."

"What?" Sam whips his attention back to you immediately, then asks more solemnly, "...What's the damage?"

"Three dead. Eleven injured; doesn't list conditions, but judging on these pictures, I wouldn't be too optimistic...They made some demands, plus a promise for more attacks if they aren't met."

"She's getting worse," Zemo points out rather nonchalantly while sauntering over, "Now I, for one, am still willing to see our efforts through. Are you?"

"She's just a kid..." Sam sighs with a shake of his head, yet this information falls short of presenting a proper argument.

"You're looking for something in her that isn't there and you're allowing it cloud your judgment. Karli Morgenthau is a supremacist," Zemo's quick to chastise, "You see, the very concept of a super soldier will always lead to trouble. It's that warped aspiration towards one's goals that led to the Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers -"

"- Hey, you're talking about our friends."

"The Avengers, not the Nazis."

You roll your eyes after Bucky's needless correction. At least he's finally found the balls to leave his social isolation long enough to partake in the discussion at hand, however he still does so while maintaining his physical distance, collapsed on the couch with a deadpan expression that lacks any meaningful engagement.

"Yeah, Karli might be radicalized, but that doesn't mean there can't be a peaceful way to stop her," Sam counters, although Zemo once again lets these words roll off his shoulders, remaining stubborn to his own stance.

"The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will stop at nothing and, worse yet, she'll continue to escalate until you eventually kill her...Assuming, of course, that she doesn't kill you first, God forbid."

"Yourview of things is too black and white," This rebuttal is made to sound as if you're pointing out the blatantly obvious which is enforced by your lack of eye contact as you swirl your alcohol in a jaded fashion, "It's like I said on the flight to Madripoor: corruption is always a risk where power makes someone feel that they're invincible to typical consequences which is why you have to be careful who you grant that power to. Steve was chosen to become the original super soldier. Those abilities - They didn't change his heart. He wanted to protect innocent people from a war spiraling out of control and he did just that while staying true to his nature."

"In other words, the serum never corrupted Steve," Bucky concludes proudly, almost amused to see how Zemo's unknowingly poked the hornet's nest through his accusations.

Fortunately for him, you're being civil right now, all things considered. Bucky hasn't forgotten your true temper and the passion you hold towards your work. One wrong step on Zemo's part - one ill-worded insult regarding Project Rebirth or the achievements it set out to make - and there's no doubt in his mind that you'll have your hands on that Sokovian bastard faster than Sam can stop you. Is it bad that he wants to see that happen? At least watching Zemo get his well-earned broken nose might make him feel a little better after such a bitter past few days.

"Touché," Zemo admits, before selecting a cookie from the bowl in front of him and looking back to you with his next opposition, "But there has never quite been another Steve Rogers, has there?"

"Not with that attitude, there won't be," You scoff, finishing your brandy then giving him a pointed glare, "What I'm trying to get at is: to assume corruption will always be the case with superhumans will only ever shoot down the possibility of there being a variation. Karli might not listen to reason, or maybe she will - we can't be sure until we try - but treating her like a lost cause from the gates will only promise her to become the very enemy you're concerned with."

"Perhaps you have a point, however what happens if she already is a lost cause, hmm? Are you willing to take that chance in the time that it takes for you to confirm her intentions - even at the possible risk of your own life and those of the innocent?"

You cross your arms with your weight leaning to one side, "For one, I'm not saying that we just rush in to make friendship bracelets with them. We can attempt a conversation while still being cautious. Second, aren't you the guy who got a bunch of innocent people killed just so that he could get back at the Avengers? Are you really going to stand here acting like you live on some moral high ground?"

"Maybe we should just give him to the Wakandans now," Bucky suggests, suddenly acting exhausted with his spectator role in all of this. This leads you to redirect your glare his way, addressing him directly for the first time since Sharon's party.

"Excellent idea. Why don't you escort him there and stay awhile? Wakanda is where you were happiest, after all."

Bucky doesn't risk eye contact for long, swiftly looking away to avoid the sting felt by your response and that mocked smile you wear which drips sarcasm. This would be an amazing opportunity for him to be less of a jerk and deny your accusation. All he has to say is that he didn't actually like Wakanda that much, he doesn't even have to add that he didn't like it because it kept you two apart...yet he keeps his mouth shut instead of saying a single word.

Sam, tired of all this clashing, promptly rounds the conversation back to more pressing matters, "Alright, let's just assume we have a consensus here and agree to talking with Karli. It sounds like Donya Madani was a pillar of the community here, right? ...You know, when I was a kid, my TT passed away -"

"- Your TT?"

"...Yeah, my TT."

"You're 'TT'?"

"His aunt," You sigh at the back-and-forth.

"Thank you! When I was a kid, my aunt passed away and the entire community got together for this ceremony to celebrate her life - I swear, it lasted like a full week. Maybe they're doing something similar for Donya."

"We can use it as an opportunity to get more information on the Flag Smashers. Maybe even get an audience with Karli herself," You finish his trail of thought, "She likely wouldn't want to make a scene in front of anyone connected to her, so it might be our best shot at a civil conversation without her trying to bash in our skulls."

"Exactly!" Sam smiles, looking back to Bucky who shrugs in response.

"...It's worth a shot."

"Your TT would be proud of you," Zemo, having used your distraction to sort through the cupboards, turns to Sam and tosses a wrapped candy his way before dumping the rest of the container on the counter in front of you, "Turkish Delights. Irresistible."

Perhaps you've simply become biased after spending so many years in Europe, but you really must say, you admire the grand beauty behind European architecture even when worn down after many years of resident traffic. The buildings here in Latvia are no different in their ability to catch your eye, being much more deserving of your attention than the flashy neon lights that lined Madripoor.

Sadly, it seems your appreciation isn't universal. While you remain silent in your observations, Zemo is quick to voice his annoyance the moment your quartet steps foot in the courtyard of the refugee enclave, "Shame what's become of this place. When I was young, my family would come here for fabulous dinner parties. Although I knew nothing of politics back then, I recall it being beautiful. Now it is this..."

"I'm gonna take a look upstairs. See what you can find out down here - and keep an eye on him," Sam excuses himself almost immediately, not waiting for a reply before he's gone from sight. It's possible that he just wants a break from dealing with Zemo's nonsense, although he could also be trying to escape the tension between Bucky and you, too.

The first thing Sam did this morning was try questioning you on what happened at Sharon's party to which you simply replied that he should be asking Bucky instead. You weren't - and still aren't - in the mood to recap anyone else on your argument. You received basically zero sleep last night thinking about it, Bucky's words constantly playing on repeat in your mind:

"I think you should stay here while we go talk to Nagel ourselves."

"It wasn't a suggestion."

"...You're a liability if you go..."

Who does he think he is?! He's been making it perfectly clear since your confession that he wants absolutely nothing to do with you, but now he wants to play nanny - to act like he's oh-so concerned about your wellbeing? Pick a side, damnit! He either cares for you or he doesn't!

Just thinking about it gets you all riled up again, especially since you have yet to receive any kind of apology even after Sam confronted him, too - You know Sam must have because why else would he have waited outside for Bucky after reaching the safe house? Your theory could further be supported by their sulking that followed. Sam finally said something to Bucky himself, however even that had no success in making him grow the fuck up.

It seems your plan of giving Bucky space to process his feelings isn't working. Despite trying to keep your head low, you still manage to cause him grief while he insists on treating you like an asshole by playing this stupid back-and-forth game of 'do I, don't I'...Well, he's an adult, isn't he? You suppose he can make his own decisions on how to behave, but that doesn't mean you have to keep putting up with it yourself. Two can play at this game and you're done taking the nice route.

"I'll stay out of your way," Zemo promises, holding his hands up and taking a few steps away from you both. Whether he senses the tension as well or is simply being smart, you don't care.

You only bother to spare Bucky a glance - which is more of a less-than-amused glare that he mirrors - then turn your focus to the courtyard. There's lots of people going about their days here, none who show any of you much attention. If anything, it seems like they're trying to ignore your group between cautious glimpses; behavior that Bucky apparently fails to read as he walks right up to an older trio doing laundry. He attempts to awkwardly ask about Donya, yet as anyone could've predicted, they wordlessly turn their backs to him before gathering their belongings and walking off.

"Maybe if you actually smiled, you'd look more approachable," You make a point of noting smugly, all too satisfied to earn a frustrated grumble.

"Let's see you try then since you're such a people-person."

"I'm not a people-person. I just know how to work people," You hit back before eyeing the rest of the courtyard. There's more adults busying themselves with different projects, but chances are they're aware of the dangers outsiders might bring to their beliefs here, so it'll be harder to pry information out of them. Kids, however, have much smaller filters, and it just so happens that there's a young pair sitting alone at a fold-up table nearby. Perfect.

"Hey. May I see what you guys are drawing?" You ask kindly, inviting yourself to slowly take an open seat at the table with them. The little boy hesitates and looks to his sister who is equally wary of your presence, but he ultimately pushes his drawing towards you anyway. You gasp, gently turning it to get a good look, "Oh, this is beautiful! ...You drew this? ...You did? No way!"

The boy nods, his sheepish smile turning into a quiet giggle after your mocked disbelief.

"This is incredibly well detailed! It's a dog, right? ...Wow...You're waaay better at drawing than I am. I couldn't draw a dog to save my life. Whenever I try to, my nephew says it ends up looking more like a cow instead."

"Now that's someone who knows what they're doing," Zemo whispers to Bucky as they observe your efforts from afar. He isn't wrong. It doesn't take you many more compliments before the siblings are eagerly showing off each of their art pieces, even taking you up on your request for them to show you how to draw yourself.

To anyone else, it may seem like you're simply playing the long game, but Bucky can tell when your smile is genuine and when it isn't. Right now, it's definitely genuine. Just listen to the way you laugh at the siblings' jokes, and watch how your eyes sparkle in delight when triggered by their childish excitement. He imagines that this is what you were like when Tony was little...and what you would've been like had you had any children of your own. Maybe it isn't too late for you in that regard, yet that's quite the bittersweet pill to swallow.

Bucky finds himself inching closer to the table, his steps awkward and slow as if his feet are stuck in a giant glue trap. His presence immediately makes the siblings fall silent as they keep a fearful eye on him, however you're quick to reassure them with a careless shrug of your shoulders, "Oh, don't worry. That's just my friend, Bucky. I know he looks real scary, but he's harmless...Do you see his cool arm?"

"No?"

"Well, he'll have to come over here and show it to you then," You wave him over, smirking at his reluctance.

"I don't -!"

Not accepting that answer, you stand and take his wrist in hand before leading him the extra few steps over to the table. There, you pull him down to kneel between you and the curious children who watch in awe after you slide his glove off to reveal the bright shine underneath.

"- Isn't that awesome? I mean, how many people do you know who have a metal arm like this, huh?"

Bucky keeps as steady as humanly possible, practically suffocating himself out of concern that one wrong move on his part will send these children off screaming. Pressing his lips together nervously, he watches like a hawk as they gather closer and brush their little fingers against the cold metal of his forearm with bouts of excited giggles. You, meanwhile, keep his hand in yours while eventually locking eyes, your smirk remaining as if to say 'this isn't so bad, now is it?'.

"Hisarm makes him really strong. He can lift a whole lot of cool stuff with it...Just like our friend Karli. Do you know her, too?" The siblings nod, too distracted by Bucky's arm to face you, "That's actually why we're here. We came to town for Miss. Donya's funeral, but we've gotten a little lost...Maybe you two could help us? Do you know where it's going to be?"

They consider your question while glancing between both Bucky and you timidly. After a second, the sister finally motions for you to lean in which you do, allowing her to whisper in your ear.

"...Thankyou. We really appreciate it - and thanks for your drawing lessons, too. Maybe now I can finally draw my nephew a proper dog," The siblings match your smile before happily returning to their doodles.

"For your occupation, you are pretty good with kids," Zemo compliments and it's only then that you realize he had technically been left unattended for a few minutes there. Thank goodness he didn't take the opportunity to slip away, having instead spent that brief time passing out candies to children playing around the courtyard. That must be why he stuffed his pockets with those Turkish delights earlier. It seems you had similar plans of befriending them in exchange for information.

"What can I say? I got a soft spot for 'em," You shrug casually while keeping a close eye on him as he gifts the two siblings with the remainder of his candy stash since they missed out earlier.

"So did she tell you where the funeral is?" Bucky asks rather impatiently in your opinion.

"Yeah, because I actually smiled to look friendly," You chide, barely looking over your shoulder to face him, "She gave me an address, but we still have some time before it starts, so might as well go back to the safe house and wait. I, personally, could use some lunch in the meantime."

"Might I recommend: there is a wonderful restaurant down the street that makes exquisite cold borscht and sorrel soup," Zemo pipes in, following you as you slip right past Bucky. Neither of you spare him any more attention than his pouting deserves, which may be petty, but as far as you're concerned, he can feel the burn of being ignored for once himself.

"Sounds great. Now let's find Sam and be on our way. Our work here won't finish itself."

NEXT CHAPTER {coming soon}

<- PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Taglist:

@arunabrak

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yandere-daydreams · 2 years

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Okay listen— I just watched the new episode of spy x family and I can’t stop thinking about a yandere in yuri’s kind of occupation. Like, someone who can essentially kidnap their darling by arresting them - though all the evidence that implicated them was completed fabricated by said yandere. Absolute brain rot.

tw - unhealthy relationships, forced dependence, obsessive behavior, and political blackmail.

why not just Yandere!Yuri? i watch the show. i know potential when i see it. you don't have to skirt around the topic, i'm aware of my role on this hellsite and i'm prepared to carry out my duties in full, whatever that might entail.

i mean, he's all about protecting the people he cares for, right? he'd do anything for his sister, for his country, and he will do anything for you, once you stop being so stubborn and insisting you can get by on your own. you don't see the problem with living alone, with remaining unmarried, with pretending that you're completely oblivious to the world around you - that his protectiveness is nothing more than a burden you have to shrug off with polite smiles and clearly manufactured excuses. you act like you're always going to be so safe, so confident in your independence. you act like you don't need him, and... well, Yuri doesn't like not feeling needed.

he doesn't want to hurt you. he doesn't even want to scare you, not really, not compared to the scum and trash he's usually tasked with dealing with. his goal is more so to make you realize just want kind of world you're living in, to show you how dangerous it can be to try to get through life without any help, and if that means he has to stand back and let his coworkers leave a few bruises on your pretty skin as they bring you in for your first interrogation, courtesy of a few semi-incriminating pictures he staged dug up with a little research. he lets you cry on his shoulder, listens as you please your innocence, and he does what he can to comfort you, to reassure you that he knows you aren't guilty, to convince you that he's on your side, that he belives you, he just wants to find a way to make everyone else believe you, too. even if he got you off now, that wouldn't help. you'd still be seen as suspicious, traitorous, and you'd never be able to leave the country or start a family, not without attracting the attention of every government agent on this side of Ostania. you need something more permanent, connections with a lot of sway in these sorts of circles. you need to be close to someone who knows how to take care of you, who can protect you from all the awful things in this big, bad world.

you need him, and he's not going to let you pretend you don't, anymore.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere prompts #yandere spy x family #yandere sxf #yandere yuri #yandere yuri briar

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shane-mc · 1 year

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The Punishment

Link to Chapter 6

A/N: Hello my favorite people! Here's what you have been waiting for. We'll finally know the reason behind Jake and Jessy's behavior. More drama on this chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 7

MC: What the fuck are you doing here?!

MC stood from her bed and slowly walked towards Jake. Jake was just standing there frozen.

MC: And how did you get in here?! You really have the guts to show your face to me after what you did!

MC is now standing right in front of Jake

Jake: I, I borrowed Jessy's spare key to your apartment.

MC: Oh how sweet she is. So supportive of you. Give me that key! She no longer has the right to that as soon as she betrayed me. She's no longer my fucking bestfriend!

Jake handed MC the key, his hand is shaking.

MC: I'm going to ask you once again. What are you doing here? You sneaked in here like a thief huh. Do you want me to call the police? Oh no, not yet. I can beat you first and call them. I can't be arrested if I say it was self defense.

Jake: MC I don't care what you do to me. I deserve it anyway but please, give me a chance to explain first.

MC: Explain what Jake?! I saw it clearly! You and Jessy... Fuck! I was so stupid to think that there's something special between us but I was wrong! It's Jessy who you want!

Jake: MC no it's not like that!

MC lost her temper. She unconsiously slapped Jake using her injured hand. She hissed in pain.

MC: Aghhh, fuck!

Jake: MC are you ok? ( Jake tried to hold MC's arm to check her hand. )

MC: Get away from me!

Jake: MC please. I am so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. You're the most important person to me!

MC: Stop now with your lies Jake! Hannah is back. You no longer have to pretend! Now I understand, all those things that you said to me while we were investigating Hannah's case, all those are just your lies to manipulate me. You pretended that you care for me, that I am special to you so I'll continue helping you. You needed me to find Hannah. You used me!

Jake is so hurt with all the things that MC said.

Jake: Is that what you really think about me? That I manipulated you?! That I used you?! You said you trust me.

MC: I did Jake! I trusted you! God I was even willing to sacrifice my life for you! But what did you do! You betrayed me! With my bestfriend! If it was her you want all along you should have just told me. I would be willing to continue helping anyway. But you chose to lie to me and make me fall for you. And now, now you broke me. I hate you Jake!

Jake: MC stop! It's not true! I did not use you! All the things I said to you are true! I love you MC! I fucking love you! You're the only one for me! It's because of you that I'm still here. You're the reason why I had the will to live. If it's not because of you, I would have just let myself die in that mine. But you, you gave me a reason to fight and look forward to a future where I can be happy with you.

MC was shocked with all the things that Jake said. She didn't know how to process it. Is he saying the truth? Then what about Jessy, why did he act like that with her?

MC: Jake... how can you expect me to believe that? If you're saying the truth, then why did you and Jessy...

Before MC can finish what she's saying, Jake interrupted her.

Jake: It was all an act MC! It was all just a stupid act!

MC: What?! An act? What do you mean it was all just an act?

___________

A few days before MC and Jessy had a girl's night at Jessy's apartment.

Jake: Hello Jessica.

Jessy: It's Jessy! 😤 And hello to you too! I wonder why you are messaging me.

Jake keeps on typing and deleting his response...

Jessy: Spit it out Jake! I know you're not going to message me if it's not important. Is this something about MC?

Jake: Actually, yes.

Jessy: Ok what is it?

Jake: How is MC?

Jessy: She's fine. Why are you asking me when you guys are hanging out together. Why, did you notice something wrong with her?

Jake: No, it's just...

Jessy: Jake just tell me what you really want to know or else I'm no longer going to respond to you.

Jake: Alright. Do you know if MC and Phil are together?

Jessy: What? Are you seriously asking me this? I thought it's clear to you that she has feelings for you. She and my brother are only friends. Though I know Phil is crazy about her but MC made it clear that she only wants to be friends with him. Seriously Jake, why are you asking this?

Jake: Well, I just wasn't sure. About her feelings for me. I know we both expressed that we care for each other. That we're important for each other but we never really made it clear what is it between us. After Hannah was found and I became free, we didn't really talk about our feelings. Though I'm sure how I feel about her, I'm not really sure if she feels the same. Especially that I see her and Phil getting closer, I thought maybe she changed her mind about me.

Jessy: Why don't you just tell her how you feel? Then you will know if she feels the same, which I'm sure she does.

Jake: I, I can't. I don't have the courage.

Jessy: Oh my God, what am I gonna to do with both of you!

Jessy: Do you want me to ask her then?

Jake: Yes please, that would be great. :)

Jessy: Ok. We're going to have a bonding this Saturday. I'm going to talk to her. Maybe I'll also provoke her a little. That way, she'll get the courage to talk to you and say what she really feels.

Jake: Do whatever you think will be good. Thank you Jessica! :)

Jessy: Again, it's Jessy! 😤 And you're welcome.

___________

After MC and Jessy's girl's night where Jessy asked about MC and Jake's status, Jessy texted Jake excitedly to tell him what she and MC talked about.

Jessy: Jake!

Jake: Jessica!

Jessy: Agh, whatever! I have good news!

Jake: What is it?

Jessy: So... MC is in love with you!!! 😍 See, I told you! I just can't understand why you didn't know when it was so obvious.

Jake: Thank you. You know I love her too.

Jessy: Yeah of course. The two of you are so obvious about what you feel for each other but also you are both so coward to admit it. 🙄

Jessy: The problem is, looks like MC has no plan in telling you. She said she'll just leave whatever is between you now and see what happens. So if I were you, I'll go to her and tell her how much you love her!

Jake: No, I can't do it.

Jessy: What, why? Even after what I told you?

Jake: I told you I don't have the courage. I don't know how to tell her.

Jessy: Oh my God Jake! I can't with you! 😮‍💨

Jessy: Will it give you courage to admit how you feel about her if she tells you first?

Jake: Yes of course, how can I not tell her that I love her back.

Jessy: Ok, I'll help you. I have a plan. But I have a condition, since this is going to be very risky and I'm afraid of what MC will do to me. You need to do me a favor.

Jake: Ok, tell me.

Jessy: Stop calling me Jessica!

Jake: Deal. :)

Jessy: Ok, great. So what were going to do is make her jealous. You know, we need to act so sweet together.

Jake: Do you think it's a good idea?

Jessy: Well, not really since I'm afraid we'll both end up in the hospital. But I'm sure this will make MC admit her feelings for you. You know, she has a bad temper. If she sees us acting so sweet together, she'll probably storm towards us and say, "What are you doing Jessy?! How dare you stole the man I love?! 🤭 Now, she finally admitted her feelings for you and you just have to do your part.

Jake: Ok, we'll do it then.

Jessy: Yay! Let's execute the plan on our get together at the Aurora bar. Just follow my lead, ok? Ah, I'm so excited and afraid at the same time but this will do both of you good.

Jake: Thank you, Jessy. See you at the Aurora then.

Jessy. No problem. See you!

___________

MC: Oh my God Jake! Are you fucking serious?! I went through all of these shit just because you wanted to make me feel jealous! To make me admit my feelings for you first! How fucking stupid!

Jake: I know and I'm so sorry. But you could have just told me.

MC: Seriously Jake?! You could have just told me also but you are a fucking coward. How ironic, you were wanted by the government. You weren't afraid to fight them but you're too coward to admit your feelings for me. And then you agreed to do this stupid idea!

Jake: I'm so sorry MC. I really didn't want to hurt you. Please MC. Please forgive me.

MC: No Jake! I can't forgive you. You didn't consider about my feelings. Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw you flirting with someone else, and not just someone else, with my best friend?! Ok, it was all just an act, but that act broke me Jake! Do you understand that?! You did this for yourself, you did this so you can confirm how I feel about you so it will be easy for you to admit your feelings for me but you didn't think about me. How it will hurt me. So no Jake. I can't forgive you.

Jake: MC, I...

MC: Save it Jake. I don't want to hear anything from you. Just please, leave me alone now. Get out from my apartment.

Jake did what MC asked. He left MC's apartment devastated. He cursed himself. How can he be so stupid? Can MC forgive him someday? Or did he lost her forever? All these thoughts filled his mind. He suddenly realized that he has been crying all this time. He went to his car and drove his way back to Lilly's.

After Jake left, MC fell to the floor. She didn't know what to really feel. She can't process everything. Should she feel relieved that there's nothing going on between Jake and Jessy? But they still hurt her, what they did still broke her. MC hugged her knees while sobbing. How can you be so stupid Jake? ( MC muttered to herself. )

A/N: Yeah, that's it. They just wanted to make MC jealous. What do you think guys? Is it really stupid especially that Jake's goal is to make MC admit her feelings first? He's too coward to make the first move! Should MC forgive them that easy especially Jake? Share me your thoughts. By the way, I won't be able to post an update tomorrow due to Christmas celebration. But I want to greet you all an Advanced Merry Christmas! ( for those who are celebrating )

I'll probably be sleeping already right after posting this because my eyes are already closing so I'll reply to your comments tommorow. It's midnight from where I am. 🙂

#duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood phil x mc #duskwood fanfic #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood writers #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood phil #jake x mc #phil x mc #jake donfort #phil hawkins #everbyte game

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set-wingedwarrior · 1 year

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I wanted to make a big-ass analisys on Tai, but I kinda don't feel like it. Have a summary instead.

In a few words, I think people on both sides are taking a very complex situation and giving it a black or white interpretation, which doesn't sit right with me.

My opinion, explained as simple as possible, is that Tai has been a bad and neglective parent not for lack of love, but for lack of ability in the given circumstances. He was a broken man who did the best he could, and still badly hurt his daughters in the process, sometimes by making terrible mistakes.

Taiyang was absent and Yang took over as the caretaker role for her baby sister, and that's not good for a child. That is indeed a textbook parentification case, which very often do take place when one parent passes away and the other is frozen by grief, but I wouldn't consider this a case of abuse as well.

Abuse to be called that has to be pretty extreme and consistent for a long time (honestly, internet is ruining the word by using it every time someone makes a mistake or when your friend treats you badly once), and let's be honest: we don't know how long Taiyang has been shut down. Yang doesn't specify it in Burning the Candle, nor is it ever mentioned by writers or such (at least to my knowledge). Considering what we saw of the relationship he has with his daughters though, I'd argue that it wasn't for the long time that people believe and that he stepped up at some point (I'm pretty sure their relationship would be much more ostile if he didn't).

"Why does Ruby say that Yang raised her then?" because she already had formed an attachment to Yang as parental figure. You can have multiple attachments as a child of course, but that also means that Yang simply couldn't step down from that role, even with Taiyang being back, because Ruby kept treating her like one (that's not to blame on Ruby of course, it was a natural response from her).

Now, let's not forget about intentions: it is true that abuse isn't always made with conscious ill-intent, but it's also true that not all forms of hurting are abuse. Considering everything from the little we know, I'd say Tai falls more into the neglect category, which can but doesn't always allign to the point of abuse (see again the point about consistency).

That's what I think but, truth to be told, none of us has enough information to make a proper analysis or statement. It is a very complex matter that in real life would require a deep study/analysis and lots of therapy sessions. Meanwhile Tai is a fictional character we barely see in the show he's a part of.

It is fine to speculate and discuss (in a civil manner please) and share our opinions. I'm not expecting everyone to agree with me or text me about how I changed their minds; I just wanted to share my opinion. But let's not pretend that there's some sort of real final answer or interpretation when we get so little to work with. Maybe not even the writers know clearly, and just had his character as a tool, who knows!

Maybe some day we'll get more information that will make me go "damn, I was completely wrong!", o maybe not. Honestly, I don't particularly care. But I'd like for people to chill, stop treating this as a trial, and recognize that different interpretations from different people with different experiences and backgrounds aren't a bad thing.

#should i tag discourse?#let me know #for a summary it still came out pretty long #but it could have been worse #you have no idea how much stuff i got from my major lmao #i could have pulled out so many examples and course of actions that are used in real life #anyway don't be rude please #It's fine to disagree #It's not that big of a deal

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icantspellhocky · 2 months

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Response to S2 E13 Inside (from Midst the podcast)

OH MY GOD (Also warning, SPOILERS!!!!)

Holy shit. We get a new look at all three (Spar, Amelda, and Weap)'s psyche and oh my god. Spar has been falling the fuck apart and is slowly unraveling and it barely took anything for Amelda to twist him around her finger like that. And we've never seen him so moveable. He was showing weakness. "Never show weakness" and he fucking failed. He just stood there like he was ordered and then when he was ordered to get help he did exactly as Amelda said because he has this weak spot now that's visible and people can do something about it. All he needed was a confident person to doubt him and pull a stread and now he's torn apart.

Oh my god Amelda. She fucking believes that this is right and that her action must be accounted for. She is doing this because she thinks it's for the greater good but she also knows that it's very wrong and she wants to pay the price because that's what she thinks is right. She so clearly has been more intelligent than she pretends to be for this whole time and she was clearly a spider stringing a web, but the web is only for the Trust. If it hurts her too she is okay with that (with calculated risks too). She will do what she needs to do (or thinks she needs to do) for the trust and she will fucking do it in a calculated manner. There's a fucking reason she's in the upper trust. She puts a lot of effort into being underestimated and it works even for the people that realize that she's trying to be underestimated because they underestimate how much she's underestimated. She lulls us into a false sense of security by being so stupid sounding and giving us glimpses of her smarter self so we think that those glimpses are the real her and that we can figure her out based off of those glimpses, but then you realize that it just goes deeper. She chooses which glimpses to show to give the correct impression that she's intelligent and hiding it so that people don't notice the extra layer. Idk if I wrote that in a way that makes sense or not but yeah.

She thinks herself a fucking god and she's not very wrong. Because she knows how to play people and the system. She was probably too late for Weep though. He's probably dead. But she thinks that she knows everything and that she can calculate everything and she's very close to right.

Also she knows what she's doing, she feels bad about it, she knows that it is considered a bad thing, but she's doing it anyways and that's fucking terrifying. She's fucking crying and still doing nothing to help Weep because she thinks this is necessary. Personally I think it's much scarier when people hurt you by trying to do something that they think is right and will make everything better than those who hurt others solely for self-gain. Because where is the line where they stop considering you as a person that they're trying to help and a tool to help others. Who do they consider humans? and even worse, if they do consider you someone that they want to help and they're doing this anyways, watching you begging for help, how dare they think that they know what's best for you. The fucking ramifications of someone trying to help you and actively hurting you while feeling bad about doing it but knowing and choose to do it anyways. Also, how many people have they fucking done this to? I fucking hate Amelda but she's damn interesting.

Weep has been so so polite this entire show. He's hidden his annoyance behind a polite exterior and even when people can see behind it he doesn't show his real self. And then he fucking snapped. Jeez. Like this man grabbing at people and clawing out of anger. Oh my god. He's fucking desperate and has an animalistic urge to attack?? idk?? Like when he's angry he's fucking unrecognizable. It's clear that We Don't Know Him. Who the fuck is this man. And then we realize that his anger is fucking him up and now he needs his medical case and then hes so careful and patient becasue if he's not, he'll speed it up and die. And then he starts loosing his composure again because he's being eaten alive inside out and then he's dying and he's begging and he's being ripped apart and oh my god.

The thing is, these Un-folks don't know anything about what's going on. They think they know how long he can live but they don't and they're playing with fire they don't even know the fucking name of his condition and they're trying to push its limits. ahhhhhh. And the medic DIDN"T LOOK AT THE INSTRUCTIONS AHEAD OF TIME. and then they're horrified by what's coming out of him because they don't understand. oh my god. They should not be playing with things they don't understand.

When Weep mentioned that they were all going to die because of the lights it was so scary. Weep was no longer stuck with them (I mean he still was, but), they were stuck with Weep. The lights are not fold safe. What about Spar's armor? That's not fold-safe. oh god.

Only like a couple of hours ago I was mentioning that I was concerned about Weep's fate because the narraters said that he would have had a happy life if he hadn't met Amelda. But now..... Well......

(also did I do the spoiler thing right??? idk how to do shit on tumblr)

#midst spoilers #midst podcast #midst #ahhhhhhasdjkhf;lksndc #just some thoughts #omg I love this podcast #the worldbuilding #the story #the characters #the narration #wonderful

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tianshiisdead · 6 months

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Hi! I'm going to be writing a loong final message for an ex friend under the readmore, it's very angry and upset and literally just talking about petty personal problems lol so please ignore it. To that ex friend, I know you know who you are and you will probably see this if you have someone tracking my blog, maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't. Either way, it's off my chest and somewhere you can see it. Don't worry, I don't use any names. Warnings for suicide mentions, suibaiting, the works.

Wow! The more I think about you the more I feel like a fucking idiot. I've mulled over this for ages, looked at all of our old chats, wrestled with tears and wondered what I could have done better. Here's my final speech, since you probably didn't read the one I sent last time we spoke.

What I did wrong: didn't set the hardest boundaries, only slightly pushed back when you triggered me and didn't call you out when you clearly triggered me on purpose for not giving you the response you wanted, brushed off your slur-calling and crudeness.

I apologize for that, I stand by the fact that I think I made my issues with your behavior clear since months ago, I honestly didn't mince my words that much, telling you when you hurt or scared me, asking you to be better, and jesus you know I'm not bsing because you always admitted fault and said you wanted to improve, you just never did. But I could have been harsher, meaner, obviously I should have been because you never took anything I said to heart in the long term.

Other than that, how dare you? How dare you think it was okay, whether I pushed back or not, to mock my family's experience with colonialism, and cultural genocide, the colonial violence that produced me, because I wasn't responding to you on voice call? Do you think it's okay to needle and mock things I've been vulnerable with you about and admitted to being sensitive about, just because I didn't call you out every time afterward? Some of the vile things you've said to me shouldn't even have crossed your MIND. How dare you think it was okay to threaten to kill yourself because I was asleep and didn't respond within a couple of hours? How dare you steamroll my boundaries for months after I told you I had a history of life-threatening disorders and weaponize it against me when I lightly disagreed with you on a political topic? How dare you talk behind my back? Do you think me telling you 'you're not a bad person but your actions hurt people' was me not setting boundaries? Do you think you were the only one with issues? I won't pretend you didn't comfort us at times and hype us up, you weren't a cartoon villain, but the amount of times you spoke over us when we were speaking but would RAGE if we didn't respond to you instantly?

How dare you. I destroyed my health to support yours, not because I was up for the task but because you made me feel like, flat-out stated that you would hurt yourself if I didn't and it would be my fault. And to be fair, other times I did reach out myself BECAUSE I CARED ABOUT YOU. And this is how you discard me? I know you feel guilty lol, you always spoke about feeling guilty after hurting us month after month and you'd give a half-assed apology, talk about being on whatever arc, and then continue doing what you always did. You could analyze your own behavior and recognize all of your shittalking behind people's backs was due to your own complexes, yet always stopped short of actually reflecting in a way that brought change. Our last conversation was pathetic. If you genuinely thought you were in the right, I would honestly respect that more. But I know you're guilty, you just refuse to confront that guilt. You refuse to take responsibility and fully deal with how you acted. You always want to blame it on something, you always need to make it about people hating you or being unlovable and evil or whatever unavoidable tragedy, get over yourself, you acted in a shitty way and now it's confronting you, it's not deep or tragic, it's just a shitty human thing you did.

And you know what, I've also been in a place where I've hurt a friend because of a similar mental illness, constantly needy and feeling like she hated me, constantly leaving our chats and spiraling and speaking to her about things she hated but she never told me she hated because she wanted me to be able to talk to her. And at one point she confronted me and told me how she felt, like I and our mutual friend told you. And I'm sorry but I felt bad too, I was also resentful, I wondered why she had never told me and wondered why she didn't set boundaries harder, and I also sat down and reflected and apologized properly. I knew and she knew my actions weren't completely my own, but I still hurt her and overstepped, and from the bottom of my heart I didn't want to lose a friend who I loved. So I apologized properly, not because I didn't want to feel guilty or because I wanted to move on with my life. I apologized because I hurt her, someone I cared about. I suppose that's too much for you to do.

Fuck you and I hope you go to therapy. I know you see me, and our mutual friends as a bad chapter you can discard, that you'll just move on without ever confronting the things you've done to us, some of them worse than what you've done to me, but you were my friend and I cared about you and gave my health and time to you because I wanted to see you happy and thriving. Sometimes I see the unfinished things I was going to draw for you and make with you and cry, and I know you don't have the heart to feel that way for me.

Final note. You told me a few conversations before our final one that you wanted to move on, make better friends that suited you better, make things better for yourself. And that's fine, but also kind of heartless. I don't regret our friendship, though I regret how you hurt us. I cared about you, and I gave you my time because I cared about you. I regret that when it got too much and I told you, over and over and over again through the months, you acknowledged what was wrong and then brushed it off and never changed. I regret that you see us as a bad chapter, guilt you have to get rid of, and not as individuals who cared about you, who you ultimately hurt and discarded. You really are on your grindset lol, always improving yourself, discarding the ones who don't improve you. Life isn't just about improving and grindset, other people have feelings too that aren't just there to build your character arc. We all fuck up and hurt people dude, and sometimes we have to just own up to it.

#hater tag #suicide cw #personal #diary #genuinely please scroll JKLFDHGJLF I JUST NEEDED TO PUT THIS SOMEWHERE THEY COULD SEE... WEH

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gwydionmisha · 1 month

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The Damages

So it turns out everything the PT said to me except the part about how to put on a shirt post injury was misinformation. We went to the appointment so they could show me how to wear the real sling and I showed him the angle she had me where the Special fat people torture sling and he was like: That's not how you wear a sling, but they do it that way on TV a lot. O.o I'd had my entire arm in a stress position for two weeks while healing from shoulder replacement because the PT taught me to torture myself because she had no idea how slings work.

At some point late last week I started thinking of the way little kids play being a Doctor with stuffed animals. The way the PT handled my arm was about as accurate to medical practice as my sister when she was small taping up a stuffed animal's arm pretending it was broken.

She was so very, very confident in her ignorance.

All that dance and martial arts training I had made everything worse. My body is an absolute ruin that literally eats itself, but there is a particular kind of physical self discipline that is so ingrained it never goes away.

You tell me to hold a position or do a particular movement no matter how weird or awkward, I will study it and then work persistently until I get so I can do it over and over and over correctly or hold it as long as you need me to or whatever. I will work up slowly as I need too, but I do the thing over and over for longer and longer day after day after day.

This is why I did so well at pre-op physio. Doesn't matter if I hurt. Doesn't matter if I'm exhausted. I kept working the program right up to the edge of what I could do without doing damage that would slow progress. All those years as an athlete I'm good at telling pain that's just pain from pain that means stop.

You tell me it is essential to hold these incredibly difficult and painful positions to speed recovery, I slowly, persistently, relentlessly do terrible things to myself, which is a problem if the person giving orders has no idea what they are doing and is telling me the opposite of the correct things.

So then we go to the post surgical doctor appointment and have to explain it all again. The face of the PA and the little sound she made when I said the PT had confiscated the sling they'd put on me for a generic XL. The way her mouth went thin and expression hardened when I explained the PT had made very clear we had to do this because of my size and her fast and furious typing. The tone in the Doctor's voice when he said, "They took your sling?" (I used to sound like that when I was teaching and about to bring the hammer down on one of the instigator kids.) All the other careful questions from the Doctor.

I should be ready to do serious PT now. Instead I'm having to work my ass of with the goal of getting my arm back to as undamaged as it was three or four days after surgery.

I am furious. I did everything right and did my damnedest to do everything they told me until I physically couldn't because of the exponential damage. I endured two weeks of extreme sleep dep and stress positions on wounded limbs and blood circulation restriction for nothing. I could have been sleeping and resting the arm between short gentle physio exercises they didn't even hurt until the arm got too damaged to do them.

She stole all this from me and the time and effort it's going to take to get me back to where I could have been if the hospital had just handed us printed directions and sent me home instead of sending a PT to misinform me and make me wear the wrong sling.

So yeah, that sure is fun to live with.

I did tell them that I'm worried it could happen to someone else because they do a lot of shoulder replacements at the hospital. Problem is, I don't know her name. They did keep asking, because they also clearly don't want this terrible thing. Surely there must be records of who was on shift that day, mustn't there be?

They think there won't be real permanent damage, but Squirrel took me for an x-ray today to see if there is anything needing fixing because of Missinformation PT. I am worried about the possibilities of more procedures because I'm not convinced I should take even tramadol for a few months, and I need to let my stomach recover from all that tylanol.

The arm hurts of course, but I'm used to pain and am very, very good at enduring it. Which worked against me the last two weeks, of course, but in the ordinary run of things lets me function with daily chronic pain that would lay ableds flat. I have one of the best non-narcotic prescription arthritis meds, one not normally covered by medicare, but which my allergies give me access too. The Doctor was a little alarmed that my ordinary daily meds are my entire pain management plan at this stage of post surgical recovery, but while unpleasant, this is fine. Like within my normal range of how much pain I randomly wake up with and significantly less pain than say the week before surgery.

I think it's hard for ableds to conceptualize just how hard this level of chronic pain/illness is to live with. I think the permanence and extremity of it is hard to conceptualize if you don;t live with it and never had say cancer of a really bad accident with a long recovery.

So I'm back to slowly, persistently, relentlessly working the program. I can already straighten my arm and am back on pendulums. My arm, shoulder, hand, etc. have forgotten what natural resting positions, feel like, but I'm working on it. The stiffness and mild numbness in my hand are annoying, but supposedly temporary. The flexeril is really helping with the contracted, spasmed muscles in my back neck and shoulder and not having to prop the injured arm into a painful stress position during sleep is a lot easier. I am cleared to side sleep, but it pulls the incisions and the damaged shoulder too much, but soon, soon. I've already worked out a prop system for back sleeping that mostly supports the arm in a natural angle. I could have been sleeping like this this whole time. Makes me want to weep.

I'm still having to type with just the off hand. I'm better at it than I was, but it tires easily. I write a while, but need to rest it, and how much I can do at a time varies. This means it may still be a little while until regular service on things like the aggregate will resume. I will let you all know how it goes.

#Personal

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nekooru · 1 year

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₊ ☾⋆ angst dialogue prompts ⋆⁺₊⋆

a list of prompts i use to inspire my writing. i hope they're helpful for you !

more prompt lists: x

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

1. "you're allowed to fall apart sometimes, you know."

2. "what's the point in trying when i know i'll never be enough?"

3. "i wish your love wasn't conditional."

4. "when did things fall apart? i never noticed until it was done." / "that's exactly why things fell apart."

5. "you were my best friend. i wish i had been yours, too."

6. "i wasn't enough for you." / "no, you were too much."

7. "i thought i could learn to like it this way. i'm sorry i dragged this out."

8. "it's tiring, missing you when you're right here."

9. "you seemed to like me best when i was lying."

10. "don't pretend you missed me. i'm not as stupid as you clearly think i am."

11. "why are you drinking so much? what did you do?"

12. "please tell me i'm wrong. tell me i'm jumping to conclusions— that i'm misunderstanding. please, just say it..." / "..."

13. "you really love her, and she doesn't love you back...how ironic."

14. "you left the most bitter taste in my mouth. how could you bring it all up again when i'm trying to move on?"

15. "i fucked up. god, i fucked up."

16. "so that's it? we're just— over?"

17. "i wish i'd never met you. i wish this was a lesson i never had to learn."

18. "you're fucking insane."

19. "am i the reason you cry every night? be honest."

20. "well, how did you expect this to turn out? it's not my fault you've been in denial."

21. "i don't understand how you sleep at night, so blissfully uncaring of the pain you wreak."

22. "will you miss me at all?" / "very much so, unfortunately."

23. "are we doing the right thing? is there no other option?"

24. "i know when it's good, it's really good— but i don't think i can handle the lows anymore."

25. "when did you want to hurt me again? today? tomorrow? you know, so i can note it in my schedule."

26. "do you fantasize about a life without me?"

27. "you're not the same person i married." / "well, people change. you didn't get the memo?"

28. "i wish i could forget your phone number. and your face. and everything we ever did together."

29. "let's not get irrational here. we're going to talk sensibly, and take it outside— so i can punch you without breaking anything."

30. "you thought i cared for you? why? i made the opposite excruciatingly obvious."

31. "god, why do you have so much blood? i can put it back— don't cry, i can fix it. just don't leave me, please."

32. "you're so dramatic. is this really necessary?"

33. "i'll be better next time, i promise." / "next time? no. i won't be here to put the pieces of your life back together next time."

34. "i don't know how to ask for help."

35. "when was the last time you told me that you loved me?" / "..." / "hah...you can't remember, can you?"

36. "it's okay if you need time to heal. i'll still be here, waiting, for as long as it takes."

37. "i can't keep going when i'm the only one putting effort in. i'm done begging for what i deserve."

38. "i can't lose you. i won't lose you." / "what? after everything? you've already lost me."

39. "you left without saying goodbye. i finally moved on, and you expect me to let you pop back in just like that? no."

40. "i always said i'd die for you." / "idiot...i didn't believe you until now."

41. "i can't believe i thought you meant what you said."

42. "for what it's worth, i'll never give up on us."

43. "you keep going radio silent on me, and i can't handle that any more. wondering if you're dead in a ditch? or cheating on me? i don't deserve that."

44. "you are not your past, so stop acting like you are. that's not an excuse to keep hurting me and everyone around you."

45. "how many broken promises are we at now? you know, i'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose. is my face that pretty when i cry?"

46. "don't give me that look. no, what did you really expect?"

47. "he/she/they showed me more love than you ever did. isn't that sad? it makes me sad."

48. "oh, i see where it went wrong. you're a little confused, but you're almost there— you're supposed to break up with me, then fuck other people."

49. "don't even try to kiss me. get the fuck off me."

50. "don't worry, it's not my blood."

51. "i was stupid to think you would change for me. to think i was good enough to change for."

52. "quit crying. you're the one who hurt me, why are you making it about yourself?"

53. "no, i'm not just going to leave you here."

54. "i can't bear when you look at me like that. like i'm something from hell."

55. please— please, just...get out."

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

☾. please like/reblog if this post was helpful !

#angst #angst fanfic #angst list #prompts #prompt list #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #kooruwrites #writing #writing prompts

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stonebutchwritings · 1 year

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cw transmisogyny // this post is abt tme ppl needing to be more vigilant and care more abt casual transmisogyny in the name of "protecting trans men and trans mascs"-- trans women u can read or scroll but this isn’t directed towards u ur doing great. also directed towards my own butch/fem community but is ok to rb if ur a man as long as u dont add anything on-- just don’t interact with my blog outside of this! this is a lesbian horny blog writing One serious post.

as a tme transmasc, pls stop rb'ing from and supporting a lot of transmasc tme ppl and trans men who are spouting stuff about how they're just as oppressed as trans women or acting like they have no privilege over trans women. these people are acting like people "treating them like a cis man" is oppression when it's clearly a privilege in literally 9000% of circumstances and trans spaces obv have never gatekept community with us on the basis of being a trans man/transmasc?? if someone treats me like a cis man, I AM RECEIVING PRIVILEGES. this thinking is a path right down to rad/fem land and "i was socialized female" and "people treat me with misogyny because i am socialized as a woman" and "people treat trans women with male privilege because they are read as men" etc etc. there are so many of these "transan/drophobia" ppl who believe trans women can engage in this "oppression" against them. and it's not just that they are quiet about it, you are taking in some of their poisonous viewpoints about how gender essentialism is okay to the point where they believe men can be lesbians if they are afab men but not if they’re amab men (textbook transmisogyny-- prioritizing vaginas in categorizing people). literally look at this post i saw when looking up some of the posts i'd seen already

please just don’t embolden them esp in butch/femme circles i see it too much and it's getting really worrying that you don't take it seriously at all when they're pretending that not "being allowed to cry" as a man is oppression against men and other MRA talking points about how misogyny that men inundate themselves and other men with is actually hurting them more than women. not to mention that i saw a butch blogger say there's no difference between trans men and butch lesbians (deleted now after playing victim) which is literal ra/dfem rhetoric and acting like butch trans women don’t exist and gender essentialist but they are still a beloved community member. trans women belong in a butch/fem community that recognizes their unique struggle and doesn't allow this shit to thrive. at this point if you're asking for someone to prove to you why trans women are more oppressed than trans men, you need to recognize that as transmisogyny in itself.

anyways believe trans women. and in the spirit of crediting, i get a lot out of following people who aren't necessarily there to educate but unfortunately are forced to come out of the woodwork every once in a while to do so-- @grlofswords on insta, @ bimbo.theory on twitter and insta-- my own experiences of tme privilege, and a study done by schilt and wiswall in 2008.

tl;dr

#text #mine #my writing #trans #cw transmisogyny #also if ur wondering the t/erf is femg/hosting #i just didn’t want any transphobic bullshit from not censoring a post #way safer to expose that shit in text

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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SaL anon here friend, hoping your in the mood for some incoherent Friday rambling because that's where I'm at right now and have been for days. First off, i think we should both thank and curse the new intern 911 hired, who apparently switched out the promo team's decaf for some Columbian dark roast. Seriously after spending the first half of the season practically catatonic between episodes suddenly we can't catch a break for even 24 hours before the next unhinged thing comes out. Next, let's

thank Mr. Ryan Guzman for looking at his character's scene notes, apparently rolling his eyes, and deciding to take matters into his own hands. Look, I'm not trying to say the rest of the 118 doesn't look devastated, but Eddie looks like he's about to start bawling on the floor and that's the real reason he grabbed Chim. I'll come back to this but his moments sure don't hit like pure platonic concern, there is some real desperation there. Also not to bring up KR rambling but lady if you were so surprised by Ryan's performance and didn't want it to come across like THAT, aren't you in charge? Couldn't you make the call and say "I need you to give me less"?? Anyway, the parallels between this and Eddie's shooting are ridiculous, so I also gave to think if this isn't going somewhere what the fuck is the point?? Why go through all this trouble to make it so obvious and heartfelt and hurt so much if it just goes back to business as usual?? That more than anything would piss me off. Yes, let Buck learn a thing or two about his own worth (we've only been waiting SEASONS for it), but also can we stop pretending putting these two specific characters in these life and death scenarios where they have to watch the other dying and their whole world looks like it's coming apart doesn't mean anything?? Finally (for now) here's what I'd like to see next episode. We know Buck is going to see the people he loves but not in the way he knows he knows them. So I'd love to be what prompts him to wake is seeing Chris. But not just any version of him. This Chris is an orphan, his mom died and there wasn't anyone to save his Dad from getting shot. He lives with his grandparents (pre Ramon reckoning), he had to go to them since there was no other parent in Eddie's life to take care of him. So this bright, brave kid is now sad and scared of the world, and Buck knows its wrong. I'll leave you with this mess of thoughts 😭.

Hello friend! We had people over this evening so I'm trying to get this done before I get to bed because I really do need to clear out my inbox (RIP to everyone who came to be salty with me and KR's interviews because we immediately got sneak peeks and poker stills and DO MORE, and my brain went offline).

Seriously, I don't know who started slipping the promo team cocaine but damn. Let us REST for a second! Between them and the fandom coming out in FORCE to wreck us or be horny on main, it's A Lot and I need sleep!

Ryan is out here giving us The Most and KR acting *shocked pikachu* about it just shows how much she sleeps on Ryan as an actor and Eddie as a character.I rewatched 6x10 and like, I know he's got a lot next episode but for a premier maybe we could have checked in with him and Chris since we checked in with literally everyone else at their homes? I'm trying not to be too negative because after s5 and 6a, this is THEE most excited I've been in awhile and I really do think the show is at least trying to course correct after....whatever TF 6a was and the weirdness of s5.

And the stuff with Eddie, it's like, you're right they COULD tell him to do less! They could say "this is what we're looking for" or at least "this is what we're NOT looking for" but clearly his actions were signed off on and made it to air knowing full well what people would see when they watched it. And what you see is a man desperately broken by the possibility of losing his partner. Which is GREAT if the show is working on a s7 Buddie reveal plan (I'm with @outrunningthedark I don't think they want to overshadow the Madney moment coming up which is fine), but it's....disappointing when there is so much good stuff going on right now and all KR wants to talk about is how much fun they had forcing Eddie "they're not really my type" Diaz to casually date randos because that's something he's ever been interested in doing. He really seems like a guy that enjoys wasting his limited free time meeting lots of new people only interested in getting into his pants instead of taking care of his partner who literally died for several minutes, and doing things with his son. Sure Jan. FFS, read the room! Or read the character profile before you start throwing storylines at the wall to see what sticks (lookin' at you sperm donor plot that is apparently giving Nothing). Yeah, yeah, managing expectations with a showrunner like her is good, but it's also a lot of whiplash right now between what we're seeing on our screens and what she's trying to TELL us we're seeing on our screens. I'm just so sick of them giving what should be THEE moment for Buddie only to follow it up by shoving some woman between them like "oh, nothing to see here!" Give me a break. And then what are they going to do for the actual reveal? How are they going to raise the stakes AGAIN? How are they going to be like, "yeah this is the 5th time one of us has almost died, but THIS time it's allowed to be an "Oh" moment for us because TPTB finally signed off on it!" 🙄🙄🙄 On the bright side, the Buddie of it all has kept the show trending off an on for almost two weeks and will certainly continue through next week so at least whoever is paying attention to that stuff and saw how dead everything was after the finale has some comparison to work with!

ANYWAY

Sad an lonely Chris would be HEARTBREAKING and my heart couldn't take it! 😭😭😭 That boy deserves ONLY good things! I will say I am a little...not mad but I am certainly side-eyeing this coma storyline seeming to be about how Buck's work as a firefighter is what changed everyone's lives because like, YES him being at the 118 changed everything for everyone, but also this is the guy who panic-sued the department to get back to work because he felt worthless if he wasn't doing his job. Which we then found out stemmed from childhood trauma and neglect, but right now, for where he's at, he's not questioning his choice of job so he doesn't need a push like Eddie to come back to where he belongs. And he's already wrapped up in a storyline that SHOULD be about him giving up parts and pieces of himself to make other's happy at cost to his own happiness (though right now we don't know WHAT it's suppose to be about since he's not going to struggle with walking away per Oliver and he's not learning anything so what's the point?). So how is better for him to be facing a life where Daniel lived and he's loved and happy (which is what they've been making it sound like) but everyone at the 118 is a mess without him, proving that it's better for everyone ELSE if he sacrifices everything and doesn't get the happy life he always dreamed of? Like I'm not trying to be negative and I'm still REALLY excited about the episode (as you can see from my unhinged posting this week) and I just KNOW everyone's performances are going to slay us, and this storyline might go differently than I'm expecting and be something really great! But I'm just...getting my side-eyes out because if KR has proved anything it's that she can't plan a fucking arc for shit, and she lacks a basic understanding of the trauma and driving forces behind the characters.

Final note because I didn't want to end on that one, I think everyone in the firefam deserves an Emmy for what they're going to give us and I am READY for their reactions to rip my heart out and stomp on it. It is TIME Buck wakes up with his REAL family around his bed and knows how very much he is loved for just being Buck and how hard they fought to bring him back to them, because he's their family and they CHOOSE him. Buck is always the one being left, but he's going to wake up and hear how everyone he loves begged him to stay with them. It's going to be *delicious*

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #evan buckely #buddie #firefam #i can be side-eyeing something from a fandom perspective #but still take my goggles off enough to enjoy watching it play out when it airs #i reserve the right to be salty about it later #but in the moment i will not be immune to anyone being in tears

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barkspawn · 1 year

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lol then can we get "i love you, no matter what that means to you, i'm going to take care of you, even if you dont want me to" prompt from the romantic quotes prompt list with elliott? <3 i love your writing

Thank you, I'll never get used to the fact that people like my stuff. it's wild.

and tbh, I'm realizing the things I enjoy writing the most, which is suuuuuuuuuuuper helpful. so thank YOU and the others who send in prompts.

Amelia had been struggling for the past few weeks. Her depression took a turn for the worse when she heard of her father falling ill and after receiving a spiteful email from an old "friend" explaining how selfish and idiotic she was for leaving the city. It was hurtful enough to wear her down.

Amelia was keeping up with the crops okay and was trying extra hard to make the animals happy. She knew he was picking on her, but when Shane visited with a new chick and made a comment about how the crops seemed small and dinky, she felt herself hit a low. She knew he'd feel horrible if he knew, so she decided not to tell him.

Elliott was an entirely different situation. They'd been together for a year and a half and she couldn't stomach letting him see her like this. He knew something was wrong right away and decided to give her space for a few days, deciding today to be a little more persistent.

Amelia looked down at her phone as it rang. She sat on the couch with her knees drawn to her chest, just staring at the rustic painting on the wall in thought. The third time the phone started to ring she sighed, answering the call.

"Hello?" She winced, not even recognizing her own voice.

"Hey, love," Elliott started, trying to keep his tone as normal as possible, even if he was sick with worry, "I've missed you. I was thinking I'll bring some food to you this evening. We'll curl up and watch a movie."

The idea seemed nice to her, but she genuinely believed it wasn't what she deserved. Before thinking, she spoke, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, El. Can you come by soon?"

He paused for a long moment before answering, "of course. I'll leave now. I love you."

"I love you too," she responded too quickly, hanging up and letting tears fall as a sob escaped her. This is how it had to be.

Elliot was a brilliant man with a bright and happy future ahead of him. She could not let herself be the one responsible for holding him back. It wouldn't be fair. She loved him with her whole being, which is why she had to stop this. He deserved so much more.

After a moment, she stood to clean herself up, pacing until she heard his footsteps on the porch. He gave a light knock before opening the door, his smile brightening up the entire room. He looked as handsome as ever, a small container that could only be from the saloon in his hands. His smile and his general presence lifted her spirits a bit. For a moment, she wondered if this was a mistake. Quickly, she resolved that it needed to be done. It was for him, not her.

Closing the door behind him, he set the food on the counter and moved to wrap his arms around her in a tight, loving hug that broke her heart. When she didn't hug him back, he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders.

"Amelia? What's on your mind?" He searched her face, not oblivious to her tear-stained eyes and cheeks. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

"Elliott, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

His hands fell from her shoulders as he looked over her face once more. Something was wrong and she wasn't okay. He knew that. Still, his heart ached.

"I see," he responded after a long moment, "may I ask if it is something I've done or-"

"No, no, El," she interjected, tears unable to be stopped, "You've been perfect in every way.. I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm right for you when I'm so clearly not."

He flinched at that, cursing his own eyes for going misty, "if that is what you want, Amelia, I will not fight you. I am never far.. should you need me for anything."

He made his way to the door before stepping through, the sob that came from behind the door ripping his heart to pieces more than her leaving him ever could.

His chest tight and his eyes red, he turned back to town.

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott sat at the small fire outside of his shack, checking his phone for the millionth time before sighing and shoving it in his pocket. He poured the rest of the wine into his glass, noticing a dark figure at the end of the pier as he went to take a drink. When he focused, he saw it was Sebastian, sitting quietly on the edge.

Elliott stood, glass in hand, and headed down the end of the pier to stand behind the younger man.

"Sebastian, right?"

Sebastian looked up at him, sarcastic remark locked and loaded, but bit it back as he saw the man's face. Elliott was a little bit of a mess himself. Sebastian just nodded and stared back toward the ocean.

"You.. you're Amelia's friend, aren't you?"

"I mean, yeah," Sebastian started, his expression twisted in confusion, "why, aren't you her boyfriend?"

Elliott looked down at his glass, tracing the rim, "as of this morning, no. I'm not."

Sebastian deflated, frowning as he moved aside for Elliott to sit. He really didn't care enough about Elliott in the equation, but about how Amelia was. They'd been best friends for a year and she was head over heels for this guy.

"Sorry to hear, man," he stared ahead, his frown deeper still than usual.

"Me too," Elliott started as he sat beside him, "I just.. I wanted to ask you," his voice was quiet, almost feeling guilty for asking, "have you spoken with her in the last few days?"

Sebastian turned to give the man a confused look before his expression softened, "yeah, I guess. She canceled plans we had and she said she wasn't feeling good. Why?"

Elliott pinched the bridge of his nose, "when I saw her today, it was like she was a different person," he started, voice still shaking, "she was cold and distant. But she looked like she hadn't been eating or something of the like," he paused again, turning to look at the other man, "I'm worried about her."

Sebastian's brow knit together as he stared, deep in thought, "and, if you're cool with telling me, what did she say?"

"She said she couldn't do it anymore. She told me it wasn't me and that I was great.. she said she wasn't right for me."

Sebastian sat and thought for a long moment, frowning before he sighed, "I know her dad is sick," Elliott nodded, his frown growing deeper, "and she got this letter from an old friend. She wouldn't tell me more.." Elliott sighed as Sebastian turned to look at him, "did she seem depressed? Like what you see in those shitty commercials, but real and not forced?"

Elliott thought for a long moment. He thought about every word she said, how she seemed so tired and thin, and how she looked and sounded.

"Yeah, it was a lot like that."

"There's your answer, dude," he pulled out his cigarettes, "I'll check on her later, but she adores you. She was talking about it last week ."

Somehow, Elliott felt worse hearing that. He gave a small nod, taking a long drink of his wine, frowning as the dregs swirled around the bottom of his glass.

"Is it an awful idea to reach out to her the day she left me?"

Sebastian nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "I'll swing by tonight. I have your number and I'll text you how she is. Swing by in the morning and just… do your poetic… artistic… romantic shit."

Elliott gave a small chuckle before shifting to stand up, "thank you, Sebastian. I'm very glad to have gotten your insight."

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott woke up earlier than he usually would have, gathering some different things to take with him to the farm. He created a care package of sorts, picking up her favorite hot tea, some ingredients for different meals he knew she loved, a pair of his most comfortable pajamas (as he couldn't go and buy her a new set before going over), and a journal. He had opened up to a few pages, writing little affirmations on some pages.

He felt horrible for not recognizing how much she was suffering. He'd been there before, but not in a long time. Once he gathered everything, he sighed, heading toward the farm.

As he made his way there, his confidence waned a bit as he grew closer. He hoped she wouldn't be mad at him for coming, but Sebastian's text made it pretty clear that Elliott coming over would help her, so it was the plan. He walked up the steps, taking his time before knocking lightly on the door.

His heart dropped as he saw her open the door. She was exhausted and pale like she hadn't slept for days.

"Elliott?" She started, her voice cracking.

"May I come in?" He gestured to the bag he held with all of the stuff he had. She paused for a long moment before sighing and opening the door, allowing him to pass.

"I'm not sure why you'd come," she frowned, her arms wrapping around herself, "I'm not your responsibility. You don't have to care anymore."

He gave her a gentle look as he placed the bag down before walking over to her, his voice quiet but firm, "Amelia, I can see you're struggling. Whether or not being with me is a part of you getting better, I love you, no matter what that means to you," he started, shifting to gesture to the bag, "I'm going to take care of you, even if you don't want me to. Because you should never be alone when you feel this way, no one should."

Her gaze fell to the floor as she failed to stop her tears from falling. After a long moment, she gave a small nod.

"I'll never force it, but tell me if you should like a hug. Sometimes such a small– oof," he was cut off as she wrapped her arms around his waist almost too tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back with as much emotion as he could show. He felt her shaking, like a string had snapped that was holding her up, leaving her a crying mess in his arms. His heart broke for her, but he was so glad he was here.

They stayed like that for an incredibly long time before he pulled back to grab the pajamas from the bag and brought them to her.

"Go ahead and take a nice, hot shower. I'll make you some food. You can call me if you need me."

After a few hours, she had eaten, explained everything, and broke down once more in his arms. He just sat beside her, intently listening as she cried and spoke. She couldn't seem to look at him when she finished.

"Amelia, that woman who sent that is no friend. She is simply jealous that you were able to escape and make a new life for yourself," he started, moving to take her hand but stopping himself, "and I'm so sorry about your father. If you'd like me to be, I'll be here every step of the way. If you want me to remain at a distance, Sebastian will definitely be here as well."

She wiped away a new wave of tears, letting herself lean into him once more, "I love you more than anything. I know it's not my place to say it, but I can't just not tell you how loved you truly are."

After a long moment, she stood on her toes and pressed a small, painfully gentle kiss to Elliott's lips.

"I.. don't want to leave you, El..," she started, "I just can't stand the idea of holding you back or bringing you down.."

The small kiss gave him the push to take her hands in his, "you couldn't do either of those things if you tried. I'm right here if you still want me. And even if you don't, for that matter. I won't leave your side until I know that you're okay and happy. Now, would you like to watch a horrible movie?"

She cracked a small smile for the first time in days before pulling him into one more tight hug.

"You deserve so much better than me, you know," she sighed, "I've always considered you out of my league, but-"

"None of that," he pulled back, hushing her, "you deserve the world and I intend on giving that to you, whether you believe me or not because I love you."

She stared up at him, her smile growing for the first time in days, "I love you, El," she shook her head, "thank you for not… giving up. It would have been the biggest mistake I'd ever made.."

"So you don't want to stop seeing me?" He couldn't help the hope in his voice, relaxing when she shook her head. He continued, "I'm happier to hear that than I can begin to show," he smiled and pulled back toward the couch, "now shall we watch shoddy animatronics try to fight each other?"

She laughed, the feeling almost unfamiliar, as she moved to curl up beside him on the couch with a blanket.

This is where she belonged and she was endlessly glad he didn't give up on her.

With people who care for her this much, how could she not see herself being okay?

She rest her head on his shoulder, laughing at the movie with her hand in his.

#elliott #elliott sdv #sdv elliott #sdv #sdv fanfic #stardew valley fanfic #stardew #stardew valley #elliott stardew valley #oh look a one-shot #barkspawn oneshot

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wifebread · 2 years

Text

Obsessed | Pt.4

Pairing: Stalker!Min Yoongi x Original female character

Tags: Forced relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulations, Mentions of cruelty, Mentions of deaths, Mentions of drugs, Murders, Original female character, Out of character, Stalking, Unhealthy relationships, Violence.

Summary: She wasn't afraid of this man, didn't take threats seriously, blaming everything on the fact that it was just to attract attention. However, she did’t know what he was capable of.

word count: 1,4k

I do not condone the actions described in the story, this is all fiction and does not relate to the real members of the BTS in any way. If you are uncomfortable with tags, please do not read!! Or read at your own risk.

a/n: Thanks to the wonderful author who allowed me to translate this work! Please keep in mind that English is not my native language, so if you notice any mistakes, point them out to me! I can also edit the chapter after I publish it, so don't be surprised if you see some strange moments (it means I haven't corrected them yet). Thank you.

source: https://ficbook.net/readfic/12255891

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 ,Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8

"I don't like it when you're sad"

The friends decided not to torment themselves by waiting at the bus stop, so they took a taxi. Jiwon sent the address and said he would be waiting right at the gate.

Sabrina and Percy drove all the way in silence. Song was drawn into the embrace of despondency, not giving a chance to get out. If minutes earlier the girl was triumphant and waiting for the moment when she and Sabrina would get to their destination and start having fun, now there were no positive emotions left.

Sabrina pretended not to notice that something was wrong with Percy. She knows that her friend will shrug off and say something like: "it's okay, just thinking." Sabrina tried to talk to her several times, but received only an affirmative grunt in response.

***

So the friends got to Jiwon's house. Yoon greeted them with a grin, opening his arms for a hug. And if Sabrina accepted the gesture, Percy just walked by.

"What's the matter with her?" Jiwon asked in bewilderment, watching his friend leave.

"I'd like to know myself," Sabrina replied with a heavy sigh. “But it's better not to disturb her now.” Yoon nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Percy had already entered the house. When she got to the sofa, the girl modestly sat on the edge, folding her hands in a lock.

She could think of nothing and no one else but her watcher and his methods of explanation. Thoughts were swarming in her head, like:

"If I hug Jiwon, he will "clearly explain to him" that it is not necessary to approach me";

"What if because of that note, Shin got hurt again?";

"Do I have to stay out of contact with guys all my life now?";

"Fuck, this is a trap. If I tell my parents, they'll twist a finger at a temple and say “screw yourself”. If I tell Sabrina, she'll suffer. If I go to the police, they won't do anything"

Apart from Percy, there were other people in the house, complete strangers. The girl felt uncomfortable, noticing the sidelong glances glued directly at her. Turning to the window, Percy wanted to try to bring herself back to normal. Playing a happy merry girl in public has never been difficult. Therefore, now she will have to pull this mask out of the far drawer and reattach it on her face. However, she should be careful not to run into other guys once again, and even more so not to make a "squeeze".

The phone vibrated in her pocket and the girl lazily took it out, turning it on.

From: Psycho

15:07 "You look really sad :/"

“Hmm, really?” the girl whispered, feigning surprise. “I wonder why?” Percy remembered too late that he, by the way, hears everything. Gasping and covering her mouth with her palm, the girl was about to bury herself.

From: Psycho

15:09 "I don't like it when you're sad"

To: Psycho

15:10 "You must be dreaming"

15:11 "I’m tired, is all"

The girl was stressed out that he was watching her and noticing something like that. Of course, Percy would like friends or even someone unfamiliar to notice her condition and support her. But at the same time... she pushes everyone away.

From: Psycho

15:12 "Honey, you can tell this nonsense to your friend :)"

15:13 "But not to me"

"And what does he want me to say?" Percy asked herself in perplexity, looking sullenly at the screen. After a moment, a wonderful idea came to the girl's head, to mock him. If he said that Percy should ask for anything and he would make her wish come true, she would take advantage of it.

To: Psycho

15:16 "You know, I'll tell you anyway"

From: Psycho

15:16 "I'm all ears"

To: Psycho

15:17 "Since you care about me so much, where is the candy-bouquet period?"

The answer did not come immediately. He was either too surprised or too happy, as she thought, there was no other way. Percy waited, bored, for the watcher to say something. And he did it a few minutes later.

From: Psycho

15:22 "We both know that's not what's bothering you"

15:23 "That's not what you need"

The girl froze, and her heart ached, because it was true.

From: Psycho

15:24 "You want attention"

15:26 "You would be happy to say that your parents are buying you off, but this is not so. Although you expose them to the best in front of others :)"

15:27 "Other teenagers are bullying you because you talk a lot, am I right?"

Percy began to tremble, but her lips stretched into a smile, a defensive reaction. The guy hit exactly the target, making the girl's heart ache and her soul turn inside out. Percy does talk a lot, but not on topics that bother her. The girl tries to shift the attention of the companions from more important topics by long conversations about some trifles. She also tries to stop those thoughts, because of which she often suffers from insomnia.

From: Psycho

15:29 "They shut you up, laugh at you, belittle you, and you agree with them in return"

To: Psycho

15:30 "Shut up"

Percy didn't care how he would react anymore. The watcher does not like when she is sad, but at the same time he makes her completely sink into despondency.

The girl had a huge desire to break the phone, throwing it into the wall, and get drunk to unconsciousness. However, she won't be able to do that. Parents won’t buy a new smartphone, but will only punish and put under house arrest for this. If she gets drunk, she will no longer be able to restrain her accumulated emotions and anxieties and will definitely find someone to tell about them. And in the morning she will regret that she got drunk again and showed her weakness.

Percy was distracted from his thoughts by the phone vibrating again. And although the desire to ignore him was big, interest prevailed, forcing the girl to open the messages again.

From: Psycho

15:32 "See? You're angry because it's true."

To: Psycho

15:33 "And why the fuck should I be calm?"

15:34 "You talk all sorts of nonsense and say that it’s true"

From: Psycho

15:35 "Deny it all you want, silly girl"

15:37 "But tonight you will again take a piece of paper from the hiding place and write about all this for hours on end. And then, as always, you will burn it so that no one can read."

15:39 "No matter how strong you want to look, in fact you will remain a little defenseless girl who craves the attention of other people"

To: Psycho

15:42 "Why did you text all this?"

15:42 "What's in it for you?"

15:43 "What the fuck do you want?"

The plan — to pretend to be a good girl — has successfully failed. And now she could only hope that he wouldn't get mad at her.

From: Psycho

15:44 "The same as you :)"

To: Psycho

15:45 "What do you mean?"

From: Psycho

15:46 "With extraneous conversations, I try to crush the inner desire of getting rid of all these people :)"

To: Psycho

15:47 «You are crazy, you know that?"

But in response – silence, and thank God. Percy sighs heavily and turns off the smartphone, before turning the "airplane mode".

***

It's been a couple of hours since the arrival of Sabrina and Percy, because the number of people has significantly increased.

“You've cheered up!” Sabrina shouted. Because of the loud music, they had to communicate this way.

“Yeah!” Percy answered with the same shout, dancing. “My stomach just ached!” The friend nodded, continuing to dance with Song.

Percy was very annoyed that a person she didn't even know could find out about all her problems so easily. Only a couple of months have passed since the beginning of their "communication", but for him the girl has already become an open book. Perhaps the reason that the watcher learned to understand Percy's mood so quickly was a huge interest and unhealthy love for her. He was really interested in her life, wanted to know what others don't.

“By the way, Jiwon asked for you!” Sabrina interrupted her friend from her thoughts. “He said that the hookah that was ordered was already...” but the girl didn’t have time to finish shouting, because Percy interrupted her.

“Say no more!” tapping Sabrina on the shoulder a couple of times, Percy headed to Yoon's room, where he and his friends were smoking a hookah, and not only it.

to be continued...

#yandere bts #yandere youngi #yoongi x reader #yandere x reader #bts x reader #stalker yoongi #yandere kpop #bts yandere #btsyandere #yandere bangtan #kpop yandere #yandere #yandere au #bts #bts fanfic

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