#my titan is too pretty to be low res | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luzswonderland · 2 years

Text

Thoughts on “King’s Tide”

We’re finally here. The finale of season 2. Had to spend a few days re-watching this episode because there was so much to unpack and dissect. 🤯

We start off the episode expanding on the fact that King can hear the thoughts of the Collector from the previous episode.

This was such a cute scene.😊 It’s understandable that everyone is stressed after last episode. After all, you do get “Hangry if you are Hungry.”

Glad we finally get an explanation for where Amity’s nickname “Mittens” comes from. It’s cute.

“We shall wipe out all wild magic forever. Paradise awaits!”-I hate how the general public does not see this as an issue at all. Sometimes the people of the Boiling Isles surprise me. They make it too easy.

The character designs of all the other Coven Leaders are really cool. Especially the leader of Healing Coven.😲

Foreshadowing Point: The show reminds us that Eda can remove her hands in her conversation with Raine.

This scene makes me really sad. It really does display the significance of adolescence and the pains of growing up.

I really want to know how Belos found out about the plan with Raine and Eda. Is there a rat or was it intuition? Both?🤔

We hadn’t seen the key in a while, but I knew the Titan Blood wasn’t enough to set the Collector free. There was literally only one drop left lol

“But you said we were friends. We pinky swore.”-Even though I can see why the Collector was imprisoned, it’s still pretty low of Belos to drag the Collector for this long to betray them this way. I felt bad.

“Have you as my right hand? I’d sooner cut off my whole arm.” “Go find a hole to wither away in.”-OUCH😬. I don’t even like Kikimora like that, but that was brutal. I wish we knew more about Kikimore and Belos’ relationship because this stings. You can say what you want about Kiki, but she was loyal to Belos and did everything she could to make amends for her mistakes.

From a villian’s standpoint, it makes sense why Belos would not release the Collector. It’s been shown that the Collector is very naïve and would most likely give up his knowledge of magic to anyone they favor. Belos is just trying to protect himself.🤷🏾‍♀️ Still very messed up though.

“Why did I make those things so powerful?”-Yeah, Alador why did you?😑

Terra’s grudge on Eda and Raine for 30 years is so petty. I hate how this plan was found out. It was really solid too.

Lowkey glad we got to see the Coven Heads fight. It’s a shame we did not get an episode dedicated to all of them.

I’m glad we got to have a final stand-off with Luz and Phillip. They are technically both in the same situation, but have different perspectives due to their experiences in the Boiling Isles.

Good and quick thinking on Luz for using the “fish-out of water” idea on Phillip. Great way to make him think that he will be at a disadvantage in the Human world.👌🏾

Branding him was an excellent idea too

Phillip’s transformation is kind of cool, I can’t lie.

RAiNE, BeLoS Is GiViNg Us PaRaDiSe, RiGhT? 🙃🙃😐

If I was Raine, I wouldn’t have even responded lol

I really like it when the show was switching from King’s perspective to the general perspective of the show. The show could have easily went back to Amity, Willow, Gus and Hunter normally, but they wanted to show the severity of the situation from King’s eyes. Fantastic!!

It also hints at King’s impending transformation

I really appreciate how Luz was still pleading with Belos to stop the spell even though everything was going to hell. It was crunch time and she was still trying to compromise with a villain. A lot of people may find that annoying, but I find that quite admirable😊

The rest of team LAAWH (plus king) has arrived. I had to add Hunter in the team name somehow 🙃

“But I was always listening.”-Phillip should have done a better job of sound proofing his chambers lol. Maybe then Kikimora wouldn’t have been an asset to King.

“Hunter, why are you hurting me? I only wanted to help you.”-Again with the manipulation.😡Also, the fact that he’s doing this to an altered version of his dead brother makes this whole situation ten times worse and makes me sick. Screw you Belos.☝🏾

I wonder if we will learn more about how Flapjack is connected to Caleb in the next season. We really do need that backstory montage between Phillip and Caleb, even though we already know a decent amount of their story already.

“You look like that bully who put me in here.”-Welp this does not bode well for King. But shoutout to King’s dad for not only trapping the Collector, but making sure that if the Collector is found, that he would not be able to identify King. That’s a parent!

Eda’s skills of deception have really rubbed off on King in the past few years. Even though it wouldn’t be that hard to lie to the Collector😂

This scene was really well done. I loved the colors

Raine is such a good character. They are so honorable. Just let Raine and Eda be happy.

Also Eda lost a hand😓. First, she’s cursed, then she can’t perform magic and now she lost an appendage. EDA!!!😭

This show can be so real sometimes. It shows you that despite how talented the main group is, they are still not good enough to beat Belos. It doesn’t use “The Power of Friendship” message when the show gets really serious and I appreciate that. They are TEENAGES for goodness sakes! They still need more training.

The Collector’s physical introduction is perfect. From the character design, to the dialogue to even the OST. It’s like the writers took all the great things about the show and put into this one character and I love it.

Also this scene right here-10/10!👏🏾

The fact that we see the main crew’s reaction to the introduction of the closest thing considered a god in this series compared with the collector’s childlike nature is💯💯👌🏾👌🏾

Poor Hunter😭He can’t come up with a one-liner to say after a traumatic experience. I don’t blame him.

“Okay. Boop!”-And just like that the Day of Unity is over 😂😂

This is bad. This is very, very bad!

The Collector is very reason why the quote “Great Power, requires great responsibility” was created.-Oof 😓

Looks like Belos is still going to be a problem for Hunter next season because some of his residue got on Hunter 🤢

I really like how Hunter was the one to open the door to the Human Realm. Very symbolic for a lot of things👌🏾

“It’s human rain, it’s okay!”-Appreciate the hesitation of everyone before Gus says that because the Boiling Isles is highkey wild lol.

“Luz, I’m so happy, I had you as a big sister.” ＞﹏＜

This isn’t fair to King. But he has to take responsibility for his actions: Releasing a God. Even though he did this for the greater good, it ultimately lead to a more severe problem. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.😢

Nor is it fair to Luz. She doesn’t get the satisfaction of knowing that her new found family, Eda and King, are safe after this event. This show can be such a tragedy at times.

The chills I got from this frame alone.😣 The sense of despair from Gus, the shock radiating from on Luz’s expression and the looks of uncertainty on Amity, Hunter and Willow’s faces screams hopelessness. Combined with the fact they appear on Earth on a stormy night depicts the severity of the situation that they are in.

LOL at the shout out to Amphibia tho 😄

The last scene of the episode. Luz tearing up before the end of the episode just shows that she is one the verge of a breakdown. Our girl has been through a lot of trauma😭😭

Camila is going to have her hands full with not only one teenager, but other four other kids in the house (plus Vee). Titan have mercy on her soul. JK 😂😂. But with the next season, I expect a lot healing to occur for our characters or some healing to have already occurred before we see these characters again because this was a lot.

And there you have it. Season 2 is finally over and the dreadful hiatus begins again. *sigh* And mostly likely the last one we will be experiencing too *groan*

Expectations for Season 3 (next 3 1-hour specials): I anticipate a time-skip of some sort because starting off right of the bat might not give the characters enough time to unpack the situation. I expect to see Amity, Hunter, Willow and Gus getting used to the human world (very excited for this) and feeling like outsiders just like Luz did on the Boiling Isles. Finally, I hope for a satisfying ending. It does suck how this show had its wings clipped before it could truly soar and maintain massive succes, but I trust in Dana and everyone else working on the show that they will end this story off right. This is a captivating story with great characters.

This season has been a ride and I can’t wait to see what else is in store for these characters. Until then, see you guys at the beginning of season 3. It’s gonna be great!✌🏾

#the owl house #toh #king's tide #owl house #owl house commentary #luz noceda #amity blight #gus porter #willow park #toh hunter #edalyn clawthorne #toh king #lilith clawthorne #emperor belos #raine whispers #darius deamonne #alador blight #owl house season 2 finale

8 notes · View notes

tekni-kali · 1 year

Text

Day 19

09:45p, Wednesday May 17, 2023

Today wasn't nearly as misery as I thought it'd be. Considering I tried my hardest to grt to bed and fall asleep by a reasonable hour...insomnia struck and no matter how much I begged, pleaded, yelled, and berated myself to close my eyes and go to sleep... I didn't. I stayed up until 3:15a, I wouldn't say it was super productive, but it wasn't not.

I did some writing, sorted through some feelings, did one smol piece of my therapy homework, and managed to not actually turn on the switch and bang my head against the colloseum wall.

Work went by quickly. I made progress condensing and re-organizing the primary section of interest and next step will be creating a new organizational hierarchy then begin filling it up with new content. It's pretty rough going though because I've lost a sizable chunk of motivation to remain productive because of all the politics that have popped up. I'll keep dredging forward for now though... And try not to let it weigh me down too much.

Therapy was productive though. I kinda ping ponged from topic to topic with her but she followed and gave me some really helpful advice that I really need to take to heart and remember for good use. Basically, yes, acknowledging the feeling of being stuck - professionally, financially, and otherwise - is valid. But i cannot ignore the fact that I have made progress, I have come along way in achieving goals and generating positive outcomes even if I feel like I'm constantly taking one step forward and three steps back all the time.

New homework is to randomly pick some old journal entries then review them and apply the knowledge that I've gained since to determine areas of growth and improvement where I can give myself credit for the progress. I think it will be a good exercise, even if I always find this particular method of backwards time-travel incredibly cringe and somewhat painful.

Mostly why I very rarely ever go back and re-read the brain dumps. After therapy I putzed around a bit but logged in to start day 1 of the 3 day house buying education program. Getting a bunch of humans in a zoom meeting with their correct first and last name only took about 20 minutes. Can't rly say I learned much of anything, newsflash: you need good credit and low debt to buy a house. 💡

Ah well.... Gonna go watch sum teen titans now.

Catch ya later!

-10:18

#day 19 #personal #log

1 note · View note

vigilaent · 1 year

Text

#𝚅𝙸𝙶𝙸𝙻𝙰𝙴𝙽𝚃 : a selective low activity superhero multimuse blog for characters featured in the dc universe, heavily based in rocksteady studio’s arkham knight and gotham knights, influenced by other media such as batman: unburied, batman: under the red hood, wayne family adventures, hbo’s titans, + some comics as i read them. very headcanon heavy.

an ode to : corruption, generational cycles thanked and broken, the body bled and divided among the hands, love as violence, violence as religion, religion as love, and being born again. re - made 04/18/23. performed by jean, 23, they/any, cst.

muselist. opens. dossiers linked below when available.

quick muselist.

dick grayson. mixed media, headcanon heavy. pinterest. jason todd. headcanon and arkham based. pinterest. bruce wayne. unburied and 2022 based, arkham influenced. pinterest. gar logan. titans and headcanon based. koriand’r. titans and teen titans influenced. rachel roth. mixed media, teen titans influenced. selina kyle. very divergent, original portrayal. jessie umeh. original character, arkham based. jim gordon. 2022 and unburied based. testing. cassandra cain. wfa based. testing. komand’r. hc based, titans influenced. testing. vic stone. hc based, doom patrol influenced. testing.

dash rules.

000. . . disclaimer.

just a little one ! i am very new to the dc universe and find myself often overwhelmed with the amount of comics there are to read. i’ve got the spirit, but i may or may not know the basics about your muse when it comes to canon dc characters. i apologize in advance, but it’s nothing a little plotting can’t fix, so if i pop into your ims with stupid questions about your portrayal, this is why. but as always, if you’re still down to clown, i am very much too !

001. . . activity.

i'll be frank : i write pretty sporadically, and this goes for ic and ooc interactions. i can get overwhelmed juggling responsibilities often, and socializing is one of the first things to go. i un / fortunately work 40 hour work weeks, and only get every other weekend off, so my schedule makes consistent activity difficult on top of my focus. if i can successfully plot something with you, i find my muse is sooo much more involved, but i'm contradictorily bad at it due to the reasons above ; it's truly hit or miss, and i understand if that becomes frustrating for any of my partners. sometimes i’ll be able to get out a couple drafts a week, others merely once, or not at all. if i haven’t replied or answered something in a while, please know it’s nothing personal, i’m just taking my time until i feel good about what i can put down. writing is a hobby i enjoy, but if you're looking for a blog with any sort of regularity, this isn't the one for you. i have other rp blogs i try to run as well, therefore i might be very slow on this one at times. i can be quite the flaky rp partner, so i apologize in advance for that and completely understand if my antics [ or lack thereof ] result in an unfollow. if i go longer than two months without activity, i'll try to make a hiatus notice.

002. . . following.

because of the previously stated, i’m also highly selective with who i rp with. i want to not to bite off more than i can chew, and for the sake of pacing myself, my activity will be reserved for mutuals only. if my thread count gets too high for my liking, it's not uncommon that i drop threads, but i will absolutely try and let you know if that happens. duplicates are always welcome <3 [ let me know if you need me to tag same - muse posts and i’ll be happy to ! ] i regularly go on softblocking sprees to keep my follower count semi - low, but do feel free to re - follow if you feel like the stars merely misaligned for our first bout of mutual following and i'd be very down to give it another shot. on that note, it'll take me a week+ to follow back sometimes, as i like to read through not only rules, but dossiers and verse pages, especially for ocs, so it can take a hot minute.

003. . . etiquette.

the basics ; don’t be an asshole, any transphobia, biphobia, homophobia, racism, whitewashing, pro - shipping, incest, etc, will be blocked on sight. no godmodding, please cut your threads, continue asks in new posts, etc, and no stealing of any personal concepts of mine. loose inspiration is fine, but if i see repeated similarities, i may or may not approach you about it. formatting - wise, here is an example of my prose style. i primarily use big ol’ text and static or no icons, beta editor + xkit rewritten, but feel free to format however you like and i’ll try to match you somewhat. since my concussion, however, i will no longer be threading with super small text or anything heavily formatted, as this can strain my eyes and make headaches worse, even with my glasses.

004. . . shipping.

i’m all about exploring meaningful dynamics, whether they be platonic, familial, antagonistic, pre - established, etc, so feel free to shoot me a message if you’d like to plot something out between our muses ! while the mun of this blog is 18+, smut just really isn’t my thing ; referenced ‘ offscreen ’ as it were is fine, as are nfsfw headcanons and such, maybe fade to black / time skips, but for the most part, you won’t find any roleplayed smut on this blog. this of course is muse dependent and does not apply to any underage muses. romance is fine to some degree, but again, if they are a child, such as raven in her hbo titan’s verse, anything beyond lighthearted and innocent experiences are off limits, no exceptions. if i see you’ve aged up a minor character for shipping purposes, it will result in an instant unfollow. if at some point i flesh out adult verses for them, these shipping rules will not change. on that note as well, i do prefer to rp with muns who are also 18+. i don’t see your age somewhere in your rules or pinned, it will affect my willingness to follow.

005. . . memes.

memes from anyone, anytime, for the muse or for the mun, are always welcome, and often a go - to ice breaker of mine since starter calls make me nervous. please don’t hesitate to send a good handful since i try not to cage myself into answering ones i just don’t have muse for. i find if i force stuff, i’m just less likely to ever actually get it done, so don’t feel like you’re overwhelming me if you send more than just a couple for me to choose from. please remember to specify which muse your asks are for unless it’s to one of my sideblogs. if you want to start a thread from an ask, i greatly encourage it since i try to write most answers as potential starters anyway ! lastly, any memes in my tag aren't expired. if i don't want them sent in anymore, i'll delete them from the tag.

006. . . triggers.

this blog leans horror - adjacent in many ways, and this blog will be portraying that accordingly, including trigger - heavy content such as : depression, ptsd, panic attacks, violence, murder, kidnapping, self harm, smoking, abuse / neglect, animal death, horror elements, cannibalism, torture, brainwashing, death / resurrection, religious imagery, etc, but i will try to tag it as ‘ trigger // ’. on that note, please do keep in mind : any abuse present on my blog will be in headcanons or backstories, never actual threads. if i’m writing with villain muses, physical harm may be present, but i refuse to roleplay any domestic / animal / harm or abuse in any form. my personal triggers are visual eye gore, visual self harm, and visual vomit. please do feel free to say something if i forget to tag a post and i’ll try to tag it for you right away !

whew. all that said, i'm jean, 23, white, and i use they/any pronouns ! thank you for taking the time to read my rules, and rest assured if i follow you, that means i’ve read through yours as well <3 discord is available for mutuals upon request.

007. . . blogroll.

enslaughts. a medium activity horror - heavy multimuse. dvrast. a selective jesper fahey. low activity. follows from enslaughts. vigilaent. a selective dc multimuse. low activity. wayfares. a selective western multimuse. hiatus. greatloss. a selective slow five hargreeves. hiatus. clericlost. a selective slow william byers. hiatus. mindsflayed. a selective slow mind flayer + vecna. hiatus. follows from clericlost.

#navigation.#dc rp #dcu rp #superhero rp #titans rp #sorry i needed a new pinned with big text galore #once you go big you never go back #except for sometimes when you do <3

0 notes

translucent-at-best · 2 years

Text

Scatter-brained...

First day of the new job tomorrow (well, later today). I'm nervous, happy, and also a little bummed that my summer is over.

The new school year approaching has me thinking a lot about last year. I hate that I'm 1 of 4 Black faculty not returning this year when there were less than 15 of us in the first place. I'm really going to miss those kids, but I couldn't do that same, low ass salary for another year.

Joseph and Kenny, who I could always count on for animated discussions on anime and who introduced me to Attack on Titan.

KJ, who really blossomed into his own as the year went on, and who respected me enough to listen to me, even when he wouldn't listen to his teachers or the campus aids. He's definitely going to be angry I'm gone. I wish I could've been the one to tell him.

Elijah, who is super smart, but is constantly getting in trouble because he gets bored when he finishes his work early.

Cece, who... I'm worried about this year, to be honest. She's so angry and although she probably has plenty of reasons to be, that faculty is pretty much over attempting to help her and is only concerned with controlling her behavior - which is bound to be even more of a shitshow, I'm sure.

Both Eliases - one whose quips I'll miss and the other who moved to Louisiana and who I hope made some friends down there.

Wendy, who I'm hoping the gangs didn't get ahold of this summer, although since the gangs are her family, I'm almost certain they did.

Tony, who had a really rough time after finding out his dad was cheating on his mom last year.

All the eighth graders who will be starting high school in a few weeks... Onyx, Alisia, Esmeralda, Scarlett, Mimi, Levonte, Alfonzo, Samantha, Ethan, Melinda, Belinda, Sandra, Maria, Kevin, Evangeline, Kenia, and so many more. Please let them be alright.

"I want him to go down on me for so long that he has to evolve gills." I'm re-watching My Mad, Fat Diary and the way I cracked up at this line... But also, too, as well, additionally, furthermore, and moreover... same. Hard same.

#scatter #scatter-brained

1 note · View note

bummie · 2 years

Text

00 | 進撃の巨人 | ATTACK ON TITAN !

18+ | suitable for work.

( g.neutral reader )

levi’s december: day one — sweet tea.

content warnings: kissing, fluff.

synopsis: to think that humanity’s strongest soldier could be so.. sweet.

love note: day one of my ‘levi’s december’ series where i write a lil somethin’ about levi every day until his birthday! hope you enjoy <3

the sound of raindrops beating softly on the rooftop echoed throughout the dimly-lit room. every now and again, the sky rumbled lowly, creating a soft symphony that subdued the silence between the two of you. it was comfortable. peaceful.

weeks worth of dirt and other debris rinsed smoothly down the sides of buildings, splashing and jumping around on the cracked brick below. the rain gave off that familiar damp, organic scent of petrichor. the earthy-smell of soaked wood — combined with the former — soothed your nostrils.

your body lay sprawled out across levi’s bed, calves dangling off the side. the pure-cotton sheets were extremely soft, and well knit. no doubt they were crafted by experienced hands.

there was no sign of wear — it was as if they’d never even been used. the mattress pressed firmly against your back as your weight all but sank into it. there wasn’t even a small divot where one would usually lay. you knew levi didn’t sleep much, but when he did, it clearly wasn’t in his bed.

levi’s chair was a different story, however. the cushioned seat was pretty much perfectly fitted to the shape of his bottom-half. it was kinda funny seeing the outline of his butt indented into the chair, but you’d never say anything. it’s something only you and hange have the privilege of seeing, and you planned on keeping it that way.

thick, humid air seeped in through the poorly sealed window, cooling the room down, while also making it heavier. it sent a wave of goosebumps over your body, not phasing your wandering mind in the slightest, however. your eyes were trained on the ceiling, absentmindedly tracing the patterns engraved into the large slabs of wood above you. each intake of breath you took was silenced by the rain beating on the roof just above it. not that you were loud — quite the contrary.

levi sat peacefully at his desk, attentively flipping through stacks of letters and documents. the tea you had prepared for him minutes before let off a consistent stream of steam that danced beautifully as it battled with the cold air surrounding it. it was putting up a good and graceful fight.

you turned your attention toward his desk, watching as his fingers periodically rested gently on the rim of his porcelain cup, settling there until he lifted it to his reddened lips. the heat of the brew stung the delicate, plush flesh, resulting in the attractive color.

his eyes were low, as usual. fixated on the detailed sentences of each page, studying every word, re-reading it over and over just to make sure he hadn’t mistaken any information. he was thorough.

hange tended to lessen his load of paper work, knowing all too well how much levi struggled with reading and writing. he would turn the page every few minutes or so, gaze gliding across each sentence, again and again.

it was clear that he was struggling with whatever he was currently focused on, but you didn’t want to interfere unless he asked. eventually, he’d get frustrated by it, and only then would you step in. he seemed to be doing just fine for now, so, once again, you turned your attention to the ceiling.

it was sparkling now, the light of the lamps reflecting on the droplets of moisture hanging from it. shining like stars you’d never get to see so up-close.

you hadn’t realized how heavy your eye lids were becoming until they were actively opposing your own urge to keep them open. it was short-lived, however, as you decided to let them rest. only for a short while, of course.

“dozing off already?” your heart jumped as you were awoken, rolling your gaze toward levi’s chair, where you met his eyes. his damp hair hung messily over his forehead, a few strands clinging to his skin.

you couldn’t help but get trapped in them, mesmerized by the contrast of his dark hair and blue eyes. the lamp’s flickering gleam shone in them just as they’d done in favor of the stars, emulating that same dreaminess and peace within him.

he’s so perfect.

“the rain is making me tired.” you smiled, amused by your own words, stretching as you spoke. “it’s early. are you sure you can’t stay up a little longer?” you took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “don’t think i can.”

for a second, a flash of disappointment formed in his expression as he shuffled in his chair, breaking eye contact for only a short time. “why don’t you make yourself a cup of tea?” he asked, getting a little bit antsy at the thought of not having your company. “there’re no more tea leaves left.” he turned his head back toward his hand, gripping the rim of the warm tea cup again, only to turn, making a silent offer to you.

and you accepted.

levi’s eyes followed you as you made your way over to him, tenderly receiving the cup into your own hands. the heat of the tea warmed the tips of your cold fingers, the bitter smell making you uneasy about drinking it. you liked sweet things.

“i’ve never had black tea. ‘m not really fond of bitter flavors.” you stated, embracing the warmth of the cup.

a small pout formed on his lips, brows furrowing as a mask to cover it. it was barely visible, in fact, but you could see it. you mirrored his expression, pushing your bottom lip out into a pout. “aw, don’t do that..” you say, lightly tapping the underside of his chin with the knuckle of your pointer finger. the small gesture elicited an unexpected heat to prick at his cheeks. to his luck, you didn’t notice the pink tint.

er, at least, you pretended not to.

“you could at least taste it first.” he said, forcing an attitude, unable to calm his excited heart. your gaze snapped toward his, causing him to stiffen.

you placed the smooth china on the wooden desk, the quiet thumps it made as it was set slipped into your subconscious.

steadying your body with your arm on the seat of his chair beside his thigh, you loomed over his figure. your eyes flicked all over his body, trying to read his every movement, every feeling. he leaned his back into the seat, pressing his legs together.

with your finger, you angled his chin up to meet your lips. it was a quick movement that caught levi by surprise.

his lips were hot to the touch, probably because of the tea, shocking the nerves of your own. he didn’t reciprocate it, as he had no clue what was going on. he was stunned, unable to process your sudden closeness.

you were actually pretty shocked yourself. his eyes were wide, lips parted. may as well have been the most he’s ever used his facial muscles.

levi’s heart was beating out of his chest, nervous you could hear it pounding against his ribcage. he calmed down after a few seconds, and though he was still a bit wary, he didn’t pull away as you leaned in for the second time.

your breath felt feather light on his damp lips, and he wasn’t even sure if it was real or a feint of his imagination. you paused, waiting for his approval. his fists gripped tightly around the arm rests of his chair, the color returning to his knuckles as he loosened up a bit. levi’s eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips as he prepared for you to do it again.

and you obliged.

he angled his chin upward, this time of his own accord. though his breathing was shaky, his nerves were attempting to settle themselves down from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

and again, this time more gently, you pressed your lips to his. he made a little sound as you did so, squeezing his eyes shut, and indulging in the warmth of you. though, most of the heat was caused by the excitement of the intimacy.

it took a second, but levi imitated your movements, hesitantly reciprocating the kiss. you could feel his nervousness as his lip quivered against yours. the bitter taste of the tea was accompanied by an unexpected sweetness as you pulled away.

standing up straight, turning toward the cup of tea, you brought the liquid to your lips, taking a small sip. you were shocked to find that it was completely bitter. your eyebrows furrowed, “it’s not as sweet as you, but i guess it’ll have to do.”

“a..are you doing that on purpose, brat?” levi asked, putting on an angry expression to try and mask the fire burning at his cheeks. a snide smile spread across your lips as you let out an amused chuckle. “doing what on purpose?” the room was silent for a moment before he huffed and looked away. “you’re annoying.. you know what i’m talking about..”

setting the tea back down, you resumed your previous position. again, moving in closer to his face. “what?” you leaned in a bit closer, watching as he averted from your intense gaze. “this?” your tone lowered at the last word, yet it remained soft.

your lips ghosted his. “y-yes..” his voice was hushed as he met your eyes once more, anticipating your next move. it was almost as if he wanted it more than you did, but didn’t have to guts. he was so caught up in what you were gonna do, that he subconsciously leaned in — just a bit.

happily accepting, you felt your heart flutter for the nth time tonight.

levi’s sudden neediness was so adorable. it was honestly hard to believe that he was not only comfortable with this big step forward, but he was asking for it. it was heartwarming to know he truly does trust you, and that trust is attractive.

he really does love you.

without any more hesitation, your lips gently met his, molding to eachother’s shape, consumed in the warmth of eachother, completely engulfed in the feeling of not being alone. finally, he had someone that he knew would be by his side forever.

you. you were gonna be his.. forever.

so this is humanity’s strongest, huh? he’s so.. cute.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #levi #levi x reader #levi fluff #levi ackerman fluff #aot headcanons #sub!levi #:☁️:#☕️. levi’s december: 2021 !#🧷. levi !

290 notes · View notes

pleasantanathema · 3 years

Text

Reiner Braun | Instinctual Invitations

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ Only)

Warnings: ABO Dynamics (Alpha Reiner x Omega Reader), Breeding, Marking, Mating, Knotting, Heats, Ruts, Frenemies to Lovers

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Part of my Nine Muses Event to celebrate 9k! Follow the link to read other fanfics I’m writing to celebrate. This was definitely a labor of love. I’ve fallen back into my appreciation for ABO dynamics, and Reiner just screams “perfect mate” to me. 💜

No one made suppressants stronger than Hange. They never divulged just what was in their special concoction, but all you knew was that it was damn near impossible for someone to discern that you were an Omega.

You’d even fooled that naive, arrogant, hubristic Alpha partner of yours for years. There was a particular disdain you held for Reiner. You could never really name it, but all you knew was that working with the giant man made your instincts sour. He seemed so good on the outside, all prideful charm and heavy pats on the shoulders of his peers, but when the two of you worked cases alone, his charisma always had a bite to it.

Maybe it was because he could tell there was something equally off about his “Beta” partner, maybe it was because he had some pent up rage inside him he only let seep out around you. You didn’t know, you didn’t care. You were patiently waiting for him to be re-assigned to the Behavioral Science Unit like he’d requested last month, but Erwin’s dawdling with the request had you worried he wasn’t about to separate his most successful Scout partners, even if they didn’t get along.

“Is my bow tie straight?”

Reiner asked you to hold his drink while he fiddled with the offending cloth.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t even look.”

The whiskey from his glass was expensive, sliding down smooth when you took a drink. Rei let out a very frustrated noise, so loud and huffy it had the guests of the award ceremony glancing toward him. The hotel ballroom was crowded, filled with elites from Military Police, Scouts, even the fucking Garrison. There were too many people here to watch you and Reiner stumble over the acceptance speech; there were too many people here to judge that Scouts were being awarded this time around.

“Now your fucking lipstick is all over it.”

“Oh please, it tastes like cherries, you’ll get over it.”

Both of you were nervous, flattered but timid about being given a Meritorious Achievement Award for all your fieldwork done killing and documenting titans around the outer-wilds of the city. Fighting for survival in the trees was less stressful than trying to make a good impression on the brass as you received one of the highest honors.

You took another gulp of his drink before passing it back, trying to stave off the very worrisome nerves twisting in your gut. Sweat was forming at the nape of your neck, staining your palms. You shifted uncomfortably in your heels, feet feeling heavy.

It made you feel some better that the usually proud Alpha next to you was just as worried about giving a speech in front of Dhalis Zachary. The Premier was known for being strict, for demanding that military appearance be of the highest standard in front of donors.

Reiner was still fucking with his tie, angry muscles about to rip the threads of his tuxedo.

“You look fine,” you sighed, toning back the bitterness. You moved away from the balcony railing, wrapping your fingers around the black polyester ribbon and tightening it into sitting straight under his square jaw. But for some reason, you couldn’t let go, nails gripping into the fabric.

“Are you okay? You looked scared to shit,” Reiner plucked your hands off his tie, holding a wrist in each burning hand, “I can do all the talking, you know. You can just stand there and look pretty.”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” You weren’t. You knew this feeling, it was old and familiar, a churning pain laced with need slowly brewing in your belly, making you sick.

But your suppressants would take care of the issue, surely it was just your nerves that were making those heats you’d forsaken start to claw at you.

You hadn’t gone through a heat cycle in three years. Hange had suggested you take time off once a year to let your body go through it’s natural process, but you’d been so damn busy that you’d neglected to do so. Besides, you never had any issues, just a few flare ups when a particularly good looking Alpha close to their rut got near you.

This time was different, though, you could feel it. This flame wasn’t going to be extinguished once it got started—you’d have to go home after the gala and curl up, stop taking the suppressants in the morning so your heat could come to life in the next few days.

God you dreaded that feeling, cunt always quivering and squeezing around nothing, sweating in a blanket nest that only carried your scent and maybe a lingering, nameless male scent from a one-night stand.

“Hey,” Rei moved his hands to rest on your shoulders, shaking you, “get your shit together. We’ll be awarded in a few hours and then we can go the fuck home. Tired of being around your bitchy ass anyways.”

His hands were too hot. They were sweaty like yours, making you feel dizzy.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

You could feel it. Reiner could smell it.

“What the fuck is wrong with y—”

He dropped the last syllable, golden eyes turning into molten amber the moment your scent hit him full force. You thought he’d take his hands off, that he’d give you some space, but those instincts to protect must have taken over because he was pulling you closer like that would help.

“You’re a Beta, you don’t go into—”

“Omega, Rei. I’m a fucking Omega and I don’t need you telling anyone about it.”

You whispered your confession, eyes going glassy as you looked around the room, saw faces turning in your direction. Most of the old men here were mated, but that didn’t mean the building brew of the heat of an unmarked Omega wouldn’t catch their attention. Your neck throbbed, scent glands betraying you and pumping beneath your skin.

You felt like clawing at Reiner’s chest, digging your fingers into the perfectly pressed designer shirt and burying your face into it to be overwhelmed by Alpha presence. You thought you could stave this off, but the nerves, this proximity to an Alpha...you needed to get the fuck out of here.

“You’re going to have to take the award for-for both of us,” oh now you were stuttering, you were losing it, Reiner’s deeply masculine scent making you feel like a puddle. You hated these instincts, hated how it made you feel weak, hated how he smelled like the most inviting bakery and familiarity and how it made you want to fall to your knees and beg for the aching hole between your legs to be stuffed.

“You can’t get home on your own, do you know how many Alphas would kill for—”

You were pulling away from him, grabbing your purse so you could scrounge for those emergency suppressants to hopefully curtail this heat.

The pills were absent, your resolve fading as you felt like crumpling into the floor and clutching your stomach. You knew people were starting to notice, noses in the air to find out where the overly sweet smell of an Omega was coming from.

“I don’t need your help.”

“Who else knows?” You didn’t like how the rumble of his voice made your skin tingle, made your panties feel too tight, wet.

“Hange, Levi, the higher ups. They know, they saw it on my app-application. Said it would be…” you were starting to lose your train of coherent thoughts.

“...best if no one knew?”

Omegas were scarce. Omegas were weak. But you’d proven yourself in your training, you were too valuable for Commander Erwin to deny your approval into the Scouts.

“Just—just tell people I got sick. That the stupid little shrimp hors d'oeuvres... f-fuck me,” you meant to say something else, something like they fucked with me, but all you could think about was how those strong hands felt on your shoulders and how they would feel so good pawing at your hips as he plowed into you to relieve your stress.

Making a beeline out of the ornate, crowded ballroom, you had to excuse yourself as you bumped into a few backs and sides, stumbling over your feet as the clawing need in your stomach made you lose focus. You just had to get home. Grab a cab. Hope it’s not an Alpha driving, just get home to your nesting pillows and bury your fingers into your—

Reiner was calling your name. If he was your Alpha you’d be stopping in your tracks to listen to his commands, but he wasn’t. He was your terrible, annoying...strong, capable, definitely had a fat cock…

You didn’t know what you were thinking about when he finally caught up to you, pushing you outside the front doors. You wished it was winter, but it was a hot summer night, which just made the heat in your body worse, made your scent heavier, floating on the humidity. And there were people around, lobby boys taking in bags and tired families dragging their feet inside. Still the fresh air felt good, or at least it did, until Reiner invaded it with his scent again.

“I’ll get you home,” he placed his hand on your lower back, palm touching bare, tender skin from the low cut of your dress, and you came undone. You pressed yourself into his thick chest, wrapping your arms around him and fisting them into the back of his shirt. You could hear him grunt at the contact, the two of you never the type of partners to go beyond a pat on the back or a punch to the arm.

“N-not gonna make it home…”

“Fucking shit I always knew there was something different about you.”

He was dragging you back into the hotel, firm hand around your wrist.

“I can’t help how I was born.”

“Yeah but you could have fucking told me.”

You quit your bickering as Reiner paid for a hotel room, you pressed to his side and trying to mask the scent of ripe, ready to fuck Omega underneath simmering Alpha. You snatched the key card on the counter from a very concerned concierge, listening but not really as she explained there were special rates for those in heat.

“I didn’t want you to know.”

People were staring now, the smell of Omega becoming so heavy it even bothered you. Rei tucked his arm around your waist, leading you toward the elevators. There was a sour, thirsty taste in your mouth as you listened to your heels clink upon the marbled floor. The scent of arousal was on him, but it wasn’t his fault, just his biology reacting to yours.

You straightened your shoulders as you saddled up next to him in the elevator, watching the doors slowly close.

“Reiner—”

“Shut up.”

He was on you in an instant, heavy body pressing you into the mirrored wall.

“I should have known,” his voice was low, like he was divulging a secret, “a little Omega under my nose all long.”

You gasped as one of his hands skimmed up your thigh, thumb swirling circles upon your skin.

“D-don’t do this here, I can’t—” you couldn’t take it, you were putty in his hands, already looping a leg around his thigh and fussing with the buttons on his shirt. You needed to feel his skin, needed to drown in the scent of an Alpha.

You were half way through peeling his shirt off his pectorals, that goddamn bowtie still in place, when your throat began to hurt. Reiner actually laughed at you when you paused your hasty undressing, having to cradle the left side of your neck as your scent glands throbbed, begging for teeth to be sunk into the sensitive skin to be marked, claimed.

“Don’t you dare think about m-marking me,” god you wouldn’t be able to stop stuttering until you were stuffed with something, until you were able to chase away the aches before they returned again in a few hours.

“But isn’t that what little Omegas want?” He was toying with you, grin so cocky you felt like sinking your thumbs into his smile and hurting him. His fingers were under your dress, dangerously close to your aching sex. His hand was so hot against your skin, so calloused and strong. You felt like Icarus, like you were flying too close to the sun. The pad of his index finger curled against your panties and you could have sworn you were already burning.

You lifted your lips to catch his, only to have him turn his cheek as the elevator chimed, signaling your arrival to your floor.

You followed in his steps, tracing your dress hem from where his giant palm had touched it, your fingers moving it even higher to try to alleviate the warmth stemming from between your legs. The keycard was heavy in your hand, like it was about to open a door to something wicked.

“I-I can take care of this myself,” your placed your back against the door to your room, “and I’ll pay you back for the fees, just let me—”

“Just let you what? Go fuck yourself in misery for the next five days?”

God he looked so tempting, so big. He towered over you, scents of sex and earth and spice, like black cardamum and the bitter burn of peppers. You wanted to sink your fingers into his blonde hair and pull, pull him down to you, into you.

But you reminded yourself you’d be patiently waiting for him to leave your life. Mating with him could have him sticking around, could have the two of you fucking up and getting attached.

“Y-you have to accept the award,” you were literally slipping into the floor, gut twisting so badly that it felt like you were being ripped apart, your heat bursting into full bloom after his teasing touches. Reiner caught your upper arms to keep you up, making you whimper, and you knew the last thing you wanted was to be alone, even if it meant ruining yourself on Reiner’s cock.

“Your scent has made me harder than I’ve ever been in my fucking life. I paid for the room because I’m staying in it, sweetheart.”

He took the card from your weak fingers and shoved it into the reader, a big, heavy palm pressing against your stomach and pushing you into the open doorway. He kept his fingers on you, twisting his knuckles into the fabric of your dress.

“Rei, don’t—”

“I’m so fucking tired of playing games with you.”

The threads snapped with a twist of his wrist, the delicate front of your dress parting as the heavy hotel door slammed shut. His hands were rough, quick, tearing and pawing at your dress, your bra, and all you could do was moan and kick your heels off to be forgotten on the floor.

He pulled his crisp black jack off his shoulders, tossing it onto a desk chair, trousers and everything underneath following.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” You were already on him, pressing your naked chest to his and standing on your toes so you could bury your face into his neck. You couldn’t help but to purr, that soothing musk of Alpha encompassing all your senses. Fingers sunk into his body, your tongue hot against his skin as you laid kitten licks to his throat.

“No wonder I can’t stand you,” Reiner’s hands were gliding down your back, admiring smooth, willing flesh, “why you make me fucking crazy.”

“Please shut up and fuck me.”

His tempting hands found your neck, thumb petting at the sore, pounding spot on your throat. It only made your scent stronger, made you keen and practically fall into him.

“Kiss me first, like you mean it.”

You didn’t have to be told twice.

Any fight you had left dissipated when his tongue slipped into your mouth, hands still encased around your neck and keeping you pliant for him to taste. Your nails sunk into his shoulders, toes hurting from strain as you pushed your mouth up into his. God he tasted so good, like the first taste of food after starving, and your body had been starving for years. Unknotted, unmarked, your body was screaming for him, looking for an Alpha to fill you in ways that your measly attempts over the years never could.

Violence was on the tip of his tongue, you could taste it, feel it in the way he started to squeeze the delicate column of your throat. Rut was kicking in, the overwhelming pheromones of Omega making his body respond, ready to knot, ready to devour.

Slick was pouring down your thighs as you kissed him, body overly ready for him. Your stomach was twisting in coils, so painful that it made you gasp and pull away from his kiss, ready to fall into the floor if his hands didn’t keep you on your feet.

“H-hurts, so, so bad,” you whined, trying to focus your breathing.

Reiner started slowly moving you back toward the bed, thumbs now petting at the apples of your cheeks as tears started to form in your lower lashes.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Alpha will take care of you.”

Normally, the thought of Rei referring to himself as Alpha would repulse you, make you gag at how arrogant he was, but in this moment it made you so weak, made you moan as he crawled over your body on the bed. You were so little under him, dwarfed by brawn, small prey begging to be snatched and taken.

His title was on the front of your mouth, ready to fall out, for you to call him what he was to you, but the sliver of sense you had left kept it at bay. You knew calling him Alpha could put you in a heat induced headspace you might not be able to come out of, might have you making lusty, hasty decisions that you’d regret once this god forsaken heat was over.

“Rei-ner,” it was forced, he could tell, the syllables stuck to your tongue.

He nuzzled into your neck, purring as he fell into the intoxication of your scent glands. Hands raked over your body, each touch jolting you like electricity, the webs of nerves under your skin coming alive as he toyed with you. Your legs spread instinctively to make room for his hips, but he kept his weight off of you, propping himself on his elbows.

“So fucking perfect,” he mused, thumb trailing along your swollen lips, smearing the lipstick he’d complained about earlier, “should’ve told me sooner. I would’ve fucked you through every heat.”

His words made you coo, made your fingers weave into his blonde hair and pull him down for another kiss. You couldn’t get enough of his taste, whiskey and fire and something sickenly sweet, like pure honey over powdered sugar. Reiner was still holding back, you could practically feel growls stuck in his chest when your hands eagerly wandered over his plush pectorals.

So big. He’d be such a good protector. Such a good mate.

“Need you, need you, Rei, p-please,” you shifted your hips as you spoke, ready to flip onto your stomach so he could take you from behind. It’s how you got through all the heats you ever had before; face down in pillows, letting some Alpha fuck you senseless like nature intended. But his hands stilled you, pinned you down below him.

“Wanna watch your face as I take what’s mine.”

The tips of your ears felt scorched from his words and the blood in your body flushed under your skin.

His. You wanted to be his, fuck, you wanted your Alpha, needed him, need him to knot you and—

“Take me, f-fuck, I hurt so bad,” you were crying again, the pain in your womb like a knife sawing through flesh, twisting and turning.

“Gonna take such good care of you.”

And you knew he would. That’s the way Reiner was. A protector. A provider. Arrogant to mask the sweetness, prideful to hide the humility.

Big hands cupped your cheeks as his cockhead brushed through your folds, sending your neck flying back as you screamed just from the relief of feeling him spread your overheated slick.

“Gonna fill you to the brim with my cum.”

That broke you. Your last little grip on your sanity was remembering that Hange’s suppressants didn’t mix well with birth control. You hadn’t been on the pill for years, and with how strong this heat was, how repressed your body had felt, you were probably more fertile than you’d ever been.

“Fuck,” your hands found his face, and when he looked at you, you sailed away in the gold currents of his gaze, “breed me.”

His massive cock started to sink into your tight hole, the copious amounts of slick gushing from inside of you making his penetration easier. But even still, he was so engorged with blood and hormones ready to knot that his fat cock struggled to breach that first tight ring of muscle. You hissed, not from pain, but from relief, so ready to be full that no amount of stretching would detract from your pleasure.

Heavy hands were on your hips, pulling you down to take all of him in. He was finally growling, your walls constricting around him and making him go absolutely mad.

“Gonna breed you, Omega, give you my babies, f-fuck yes, have you dripping with cum.”

The blinding pleasure was almost devastating, making you feel numb, making you feel like this was all you ever needed in the whole goddamn world—all you needed was Reiner’s cock to bring you rapture, to have you ascending to the holy planes that zealots coveted.

“Move,” it was a quick plea, your legs curling around his waist in encouragement, “please, please fuck me, breed me.”

He started a slow pace, but was enough to have you spiraling, eyes fluttering shut as you got lost in him. One of his hands swatted at your cheek, just enough to sting.

“Eyes open. Watch me, be with me.”

You tried your best to obey, but the drumming of his cock in your cunt had you seeing dark spots even as your eyes opened again. Reiner kept his hand on your face, locking it around your jaw so you watched him as he fucked you, his beautiful, defined cheekbones tinted pink as he became overwhelmed with his rut.

How many times had you looked at him before? How many days had you spent working alongside him, doing your best to avoid looking at him? He got under your skin, made you feel weak. Maybe this was why, maybe you were repressing just how much you wanted him. Maybe he was meant to be your—

“Alpha,” you breathed it out, let it fan over his ears, let it sink into his psyche.

The word felt like a relief, like a sin. That attachment you feared was already caging you in.

His pace kicked up to something brutal as you acknowledged not just his biology, but his title to you.

You screamed so loudly that it hurt, had your throat burning as your moans bled into whines and mewls as he took from your willing cunt.

A cacophony of sex filled the hotel room, the sound of primal grunts, shrill little screams, of flesh against flesh, balls slapping against your ass, his cock ramming into your squelching, drooling pussy.

“That’s right, fuck, you’re mine, Omega. Mine.” He repeated the last word a few more times as he bent your legs farther back, straddling your thighs with his muscular legs as he folded you into a mating press. His cock began to stroke that sweet, spongy spot inside of you at the new angle, drilling into you at just the right curve to have you cumming before your body could even enjoy the build up.

You shattered, cunt clenching and as you were so pleased to orgasm around a thick Alpha cock. You were babbling nonsense, even thanking him for letting you cum. Just a string of pleas and AlphaAlphaAlpha pouring off your tongue and melting into his sweaty skin.

Your orgasm had your scent fresh in the room, had your neck fucking pounding with the need to be bitten, to be claimed.

Reiner could smell it, could smell your insatiable need, instincts picking up on words you just couldn’t say.

“Let me have you,” he demanded it between kisses to your shoulder, lips trailing up and stopping at the saccharine reek of your scent glands just below your jaw.

He wouldn’t claim you without permission, he wasn’t that kind of man, wasn’t that kind of Alpha.

You fell into a symphony of moans, neck tilting back in instinctual insinuation, but mouth still unwilling to make that plea. But then his scent overwhelmed you again, like spicy hot peppers and the sweetest sugar flooding over your body. You knew that scent by heart, had smelled it in smaller increments every day for years, had tried to ignore it, but now you couldn’t.

His cock was swelling inside of you, his ruthless pace and your lingering orgasm edging him closer to release. The hand on your hip had bruised your skin, perfect indent of his palm, his long fingers, etched into your skin. The other was pulling at your neck, pushing your face to the side as he skimmed the bridge of nose along your skin, waiting, wanting.

“Omega,” he purred, calling you, begging you, “please, yours, mine.”

He was losing his thoughts too, drowning in instincts and euphoria.

Your fingers laced in his hair, pulling his mouth closer to what he wanted.

“Yours, Alpha, f-fuck,” your acceptance was loud and clear, even through the fog and sounds of sex. One bite was all it took, teeth barely sinking into your skin. You cried from how good it felt, that ache finally silenced as his tongue lapped over that patch on your neck that could now only belong to him.

A bond was tightening, something scientists still couldn’t fully explain—being marked, claimed, it tethered you to someone beyond all comprehension. It was like making a deal with a devil, selling your soul, and for you, it was an admittance to attraction and acceptance of intimacy that you felt with Reiner.

The act of marking had his cock swelling inside you, knotting you and spilling his seed into your depths to stay. That overbearing fullness had you tumbling over the orgasmic mountain again, had you clinging and screaming, colors you’d never fucking seen before bursting in the corners of your eyes and traveling over your body like fireworks. You shivered in his arms, quaked, fell apart, and he held you. Purring, comforting, like he’d finally brought you home.

Time didn’t seem to exist, lines between pleasure and pain so blurred that you couldn’t even feel the burn in your legs from being spread open for so long. You stayed in that mating press for what felt like hours. Reiner kept kissing at your neck, letting his scent blend in with yours.

You’d never smell the same again. You’d always be tainted with him, carry bits of his scent with you forever. The thought didn’t even bother you, just brought you comfort, made you purr as your fingers lazily threaded through his hair.

Finally, his cock became soft enough for him to pull out of you, lines of cum dripping from your abused pussy as he fell on his back next to you.

The love hormones kicked in, had you curling around him even as you stretched out weary muscles. You were ready to sleep, ready to rest until the next wave of your heat came in a few hours and had you pleading for him again.

But a pesky thought plagued your mind, a jealous one, one you’d never had about another Alpha before.

How many other Omegas had wanted what was yours? How many of them had Reiner denied a claim to before you?

“Why me?” you murmured into his heaving chest, fingertips drawing aimless circles in his downy chest hair.

“Could ask you the same thing.”

You sat up to look at him, to let him cup your cheek as his eyes flickered over your face.

“How many Alphas have wanted you?”

There was solace in knowing he had the same questions.

“Haven’t had a heat since I met you.”

Concern flashed across his face, that intensity you were used to seeing in his brow coming to life.

“You won’t do that again.”

His command made you feel warm, had your belly already pulling and churning and wanting again.

“I won’t. Because even though you’re a shitty partner, you’re my mate.”

That realization swept over him hard and fast, a range of emotions painting his features before he settled on a smile.

His thumb petted your skin, bringing you in for a kiss.

“You’re the only award I needed tonight.”

#reiner braun #reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #abo #reiner smut #aot #snk #snk reiner #aot reiner #attack on titan #aot fanfic #snk fanfic #attack on titan fanfiction #reiner x you #reiner braun x you

2K notes · View notes

autumnsart22 · 3 years

Text

Flat Tire: Suna x fem reader

SMUT 🔥🔥

This is technically a part 3 of First time in College: Suna x reader, but I decided to make it a stand alone. You can read the other parts if you’re interested. Also, I left the ending kind of open, so I would be super happy to continue it if anyone wants me to...

P.S. I feel like it’s rare to have someone look this fine when it’s NOT EVEN FANART BRUHHHH

Suna was late to pick you up for your “date” (was it a date? He hadn’t made it particularly clear), which wasn’t a good sign. You had spent the hours after your class at 3 pacing around, trying to figure out what outfit to wear, and questioning your whole existence. Your roommate, Kiyoko, didn’t make things any better. When you had explained how you had met Suna at the frat party, how sweet he had seemed, her mouth had dropped and her eye practically popped out of her head.

“Out of every guy you could have picked, you chose Suna Rintarou?” She sighed, burying her face in her hands.

“What? Is he...bad?” You asked, suddenly nervous. You liked Suna, from the amount you knew about him. He seemed like he was pretty arrogant, and also kind of lazy, but he was nice to talk to. You knew you’d be disappointed if he ended up being a piece of shit.

“He’s just...you know…” Kiyoko was clearly trying to find a way to phrase it. “He’s ditched a lot of different girls, sleeping around and then never speaking to them again, that sort of thing. Typical frat boy behavior.”

You sighed, since it was exactly what you expected. “Well, it’s fine. We’re just going to eat, so I’ll just get it over with and then be out of his life.”

“Ok. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

You waved her off. “I know, I know. Don’t worry.”

Unfortunately, six o’clock came and went, and no sign of Suna; suddenly, despite my dismissal, “getting hurt” seemed like a distinct possibility. By 6:30, you ditched your shoes and coat, crashing on your bed and starting the newest episode of Attack on Titan. Fuck Suna and his dumb pretty face. You were good with Levi.

Halfway through the episode, there was a knock at your door, and your muscles tensed so suddenly that your neck twinged.

“Uh, who is it?” You yelled as you rolled out of bed, stumbling to the door.

“Su--” You opened it and blinked up at the guy outside in shock. “--na.”

“Oh.” You raised your eyebrows. He was wearing black pants and a black crewneck, a white collared shirt underneath.

“Hi,” he panted, completely out of breath. “Sorry.”

You snorted. “Um. It’s late.”

“I got lost.”

“Did you now?”

“And I had to go back home to change.”

“You could have texted me!”

“...I don’t have your number.”

You opened your mouth, but you had nothing to say to that. “Well, fuck,” you muttered, turning away.

“Sorry. You’ll still come to eat though, right?”

You wanted to curse him out for making you wait so long, for making you think he ditched you for the night and forgot.

“Fine. But you’re a dick.”

He grinned lazily, leaning in the door frame as you grabbed your shoes and jacket again, scooping up your purse as you exited your dorm.

“What?” You said as you finally approached him, blushing as you met his eyes despite how hard you tried not to.

“Nothing.”

He led the way to his car in silence, and it was a strange mix of awkward and comfortable. Suna didn’t seem like the type to be super talkative, but at the same time you felt like you should be making conversation.

When you got to his car, you took a deep breath to calm yourself down before sliding into the passenger seat. Of course, the whole car smelled like weed, but it wasn’t overwhelming and honestly kind of nice.

“So, you’re a freshman?” He asked, pulling out of the lot, and you nodded.

“Are you?”

“Sophomore.”

“What’s your major?”

“Undecided, but I enjoy photography. Not the best career path though…”

“Wait, that's really cool.” You glanced at him, impressed. “What do you take pictures of?”

“Anything, but people mostly.”

“You’ll have to show me some time.”

“Only if you forgive me for being late.”

You crossed your arms, snorting. “Fine.”

The car suddenly jerked, and you gasped as you heard a rush of air coming from the rear.

“Oh...fuck,” Suna muttered, pulling off to the side of the road. “I think we just got a flat tire.”

“How????”

“How am I supposed to know?”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “Do you want me to call someone?”

“Hang on, I might be able to…” He hopped out of the car before finishing, and you sat in silence as you heard him walking around to examine the damage. A moment later, he re-entered the driver's side with an annoyed expression on his face. “Yeah, it’s flat. Shit.”

“What are we going to do?”

“My friend has a spare tire, but it might take him a bit to get here. Are you ok with waiting?”

You shrugged. “Sure.”

“Sorry, this is the worst night ever.”

“It’s not your fault. We can just hang out until your friend gets here.”

Suna’s expression didn’t change, but you thought you saw his shoulders relax a little. In the darkness of the car, you couldn’t help but admire his profile as he turned off the car and shoved his hair back from his face.

“What?” He said, turning to look at you, and you went beat red.

“Huh?”

“You’re looking at me.”

“N-no.”

“Really?” He smirked, leaning towards you slightly.

Your heart stuttered, practically stopping at you stared into his pretty yellow eyes. Oh my god...

“I--”

Before you could answer, Suna sat back, still smirking. A car drove past you on the dark street and you used the momentary distraction to try and get ahold of yourself.

“So, what do you want to do?” Suna asked, and you looked over at him again.

“You say that like we have another option besides just sitting here.”

He shrugged, pulling a THC pen from his pocket and holding it out to you. You took it from him, hitting it twice before handing it back.

“What’s your major?” He asked, holding the pen to his lips.

“Political economics right now, but I’m considering switching to english since I like writing.”

“What do you write?”

“All kinds of things, although mostly short stories. I’ve been working on my second novel too, and the first draft is almost done. It’s really shitty right now, but hopefully once I go back and edit it…”

You paused, suddenly embarrassed. Were you rambling? You could talk about writing all day, but most people didn’t care enough to keep listening beyond the first sentence.

“Yeah?” Suna said, waiting for you to finish.

“Oh. That was it.” You glanced away, waiting for a subject change.

“What’s your novel about?” He paused, laughing under his breath. “I can’t believe you wrote a fucking book. That’s so sick.”

You couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your face, and you covered your mouth with your hand. “Ok, short version--”

“Short version? Why? We’ve got plenty of time.”

You opened your mouth, and then paused. No one actually ever asked to hear about your writing beyond just the basic formalities, and you couldn’t believe how happy it made you feel that someone seemed genuinely interested.

Deciding to abandon all pretenses, you jumped into a long scale explanation of the plot you were writing, all while Suna watched your face intently.

“...And yeah! That’s basically it,” you finished finally, smiling brightly at him. “Sorry if that was super boring, I didn’t mean to…”

“Can I read it when you finish? I’m invested.” He took another hit off the pen while watching you, and you smiled to yourself. How was this boy saying all the right things? Fuck.

“I suppose.”

“You suppose?”

“Depends on my mood.”

“What can I do to guarantee you’ll let me read?” He reached over to grab your chin, stroking your cheeks gently with his thumb, and your breathing hitched. “Ha, you’re cute when you’re all red like this.”

You snorted, but didn’t pull away. “Flattery doesn’t work on me.”

“Really?” He leaned closer to you, until your faces were only inches apart in the darkness.

“N-no.” Your heart thundered.

“Hm,” He murmured. “I’ll have to try to change that.”

And then he was pressing your body back into the seat and kissing you hard on the mouth.

Oh my god, it was heaven. He tasted like minty chapstick and weed, and you sighed, your mind going blank.

His long fingers tangled in your hair, dragging you closer, and a low noise came from his chest as you opened your mouth. You pulled away after a long minute, gasping, which only prompted Suna to trail open mouthed kisses down your neck.

You leaned your head back to give him easier access, letting out an embarrassing noise as his hand slid under your shirt to trace the skin of your stomach.

You weren’t a virgin, but you had only had sex with one person--your previous boyfriend--and it had been less than satisfactory the few times you had done it. Apparently you had missed the physical contact more than you thought.

You sat up, and Suna pulled away, his eyes a little glazed over and his hair messed up. God damn, he was fine.

He smiled slowly as your eyes trailed down his chest to his crotch, and he slid his seat all the way back so there was enough room for you to crawl into his lap.

It was awkward, and you slammed your head on the roof of the car hard enough to make you yelp in pain as you tried to maneuver over to him. But any embarrassment you might have felt washed away as he burst out laughing and kissed you gently on the mouth.

You tugged at his shirt in annoyance, suddenly pissed that it was still in place, and he awkwardly pulled over his head.

“Pushy,” he muttered, and you flicked him hard on the forehead.

“Dick.”

“No need to beg, sweetheart. You’ll get it soon.”

You swallowed hard and your thighs clenched in anticipation, even as you rolled your eyes.

Any annoyance you had flew from your head as he slipped a hand down your pants, the other coming up to tangle in your hair. Instead of touching you where you needed him to, he traced along your inner thighs, kissing your collarbone.

“Suna,” you mumbled, suddenly impatient as you shifted your hips, and he grinned into your skin before you felt his fingers shove the thin fabric of your underwear aside.

“Oh go--” Your eyes rolled back as he slowly eased a digit into you, wiggling it as he slowly widened you up.

“S-Shit,” you gasped, your hands grasping at his shirt as he added another finger, circling his thumb at the same time on your clit.

“You’re already so fucking wet,” Suna grunted, kissing up your neck as you began to roll your hips, riding his hand.

“Don’t stop,” you gasped, but he grinned wickedly and immediately pulled his hand from your pants. Your eyes widened in outrage, but you stopped when he held up his fingers, covered in your juices, and shoved them in his mouth. You almost came from the sight, clenching around nothing as your heart stuttered.

“Fuck, you taste good,” he mumbled, and you felt his dick twitch beneath you. It was hard as a rock in his pants, and you could feel it straining against the fabric. It was pretty big, if the bulge was evidence enough.

You quickly fumbled to get his zipper open, needing to have him inside you right now. His fingers were good, but you needed...

Suna smacked your hands away. “Take off your pants,” he ordered, and you obliged, choosing to ignore how hot you got at his commanding tone. You could unpack that later.

It was a struggle to get the fabric off in the small space, but finally you were back in his lap, and he was holding your hips, and his (long) cock was free of his pants. You reached down, stroking it slowly and rubbing your thumb gently across the tip, spreading the precum that had gathered already.

“Jesus christ,” Suna said, his voice strained, and he twitched in your hand.

“Jesus wouldn’t appreciate his name being used in this context.”

“He’d be jealous of me right now.”

“You’re definitely going to hell for that.”

“And you’re not? You little slut.” Suna shoved his fingers in your mouth while his other hand fumbled with a condom which he tugged from his pocket. He slid it down over his length with expert speed, clearly having done this many times before, but you shoved the thought from your mind.

Suna held your hips tightly as you positioned yourself over him, helping you as you eased yourself down onto his dick. He was larger than your last boyfriend, and it burned for a moment as you adjusted to his size, but Suna held your face and stroked your hair as you breathed through it. “You’re such a good girl, taking my cock so well,” he groaned in your ear. “Fuck, you’re tight.”

His praise made you clench around him, the pain easing away, and you rolled your hips experimentally. The friction on your clit and almost made you cum right away, and you let out a moan into his neck as your head dropped onto his shoulder. Holy motherfucking shit how did it feel so good...

Suna buried his face in your chest as you began to ride him, shifting your hips slowly as you felt his full length hitting points you didn’t even know existed. When he ran his tongue along your nipple, you let out an embarrassing noise and fucked him faster.

Your legs began to burn, but Suna took over easily, thrusting up into you while you held onto his shoulders. Your moans and the sound of sex filled the car, and your hand slid across the fogged glass of the window as you grasped for anything to hold onto. You were so close to coming, you could feel it all the way down to your toes.

“You’re doing so good, baby, you feel so good,” Suna groaned, reaching down to rub your clit, his tongue circling your nipple at the same time, and with his voice in your ear, it was enough to finally send you over the edge. You clenched around him, your mouth opening in a silent scream as you came hard all over his cock. It was easily the best orgasm you’d had during sex, possibly the best ever. Suna didn’t take his eyes off you as you came apart, relishing in how it was him who put that expression on your face, and how only he was seeing you like this right now.

“And you said flattery doesn’t work on you,” Suna laughed, but you couldn’t even make yourself glare at him.

“Idiot.”

You panted as you came down from your high, but Suna still wasn’t finished. You could tell he was getting close by the way his pace picked up and how he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he thrust up into you. His groans were deep and sexy in your ear, making your overstimulated clit throb as your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

“F-fuckkkk…” He panted, kissing you again and shoving his tongue in your mouth. He held onto your hair, tangled around his fist, forcing you to lean your head back as he created hickies all along your throat.

He finally came with a groan, his cock twitching as he held onto you tightly, head falling on your shoulder. You both stilled, panting, and you couldn’t help the slow smile that tugged at your lips. For a moment you were too tired to move as you felt his dick soften inside you, so you gently stroked his hair instead.

“Are you ok?” He murmured, finally lifting his head to meet your eyes. His cheeks were flushed, his hair a wreck, but you were sure you didn’t look much better.

“I’m great,” you said, smiling. “Are you?”

Suna blinked, looking dazed for a moment, but he nodded.

You shifted, trying to get off his lap in the most graceful way possible, but your back slammed against the wheel and the car honked loudly.

“Jesus!” You cursed, flinching, and Suna rolled his eyes.

“You just woke the whole neighborhood.”

“Ugh,” you glared at him as you pulled on your pants, readjusting your shirt to cover your chest once again.

The car suddenly lit up as headlights pulled up behind you, and you whirled to face Suna.

“Is that your friend? Wait, where’s your shirt?!”

He wasn’t listening, casually tugging it over his head as he opened the driver’s side door. You heard a door slam from behind you, and then a guy with grey hair and dark tips leaned down to wave at you from Suna’s side.

“Hi. Sorry it took so long, but I have the tire.”

“Thanks,” Suna nodded, and then gestured to you. “Kita, this is Y/n L/n. Y/n, this is my friend Kita Shinsuke.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” you said, but you felt your stomach drop as Kita’s eyes went to the fogged windows, where your hand print was still visible.

“Yeah…” He raised his eyebrows. “Nice to meet you too.”

Suna crossed his arms, looking bored. “Wanna help me change the tire?”

The two boys left you alone as they went to swap out the flat, and you worked on trying to get your face to stop burning. By the time Suna finally got back, you felt decently less embarrassed; he probably did this all the time, so for Kita, it was definitely nothing new. He probably wouldn’t even remember your name.

“Hey,” you looked over at Suna in surprise as he slid back into the driver’s seat and gently grabbed your face, kissing you slowly.

“What was that for?” You sighed when he pulled away.

He shrugged, smirking. “Are you still hungry?”

Part 1

Part 2

#holy shit i love him #ive never blushed harder than while writing this #mad butterflies omg #smut #suna #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintarō #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic

77 notes · View notes

allsassnoclass · 3 years

Text

okay so re: smutless long fics, I’ve tried to compile a list of fics as close to 50k words as possible since that’s the wordcount the anon cited and tbh my friends there really are not that many that I personally have read but I did my best. All fics under the cut are over 30k and have either been verified good by me or my trusted friends

delete this transmission by @anxietycalling: 67k mashton sci-fi. I reread this one recently and it’s just as amazing the second time around I very highly recommend it

“Yeah,” he says, catching sight of his reflection in the dimly reflective surface and running fingers through his hair to fluff it up. And instead of getting on the mag-train home like he wants to, he catches the northbound train to the greenlawn with Calum. “You know, I think I might not go through with it,” he tells his best friend, meaning his activation. They sit together across from the back doors of the car and watch the adverts for an upcoming showing of ‘Titanic’ at the interactive theater. While Calum sits beside him silently he gnaws on a thumbnail and wonders whether it’s too late to get his money back.

“You can’t go back on it now,” Calum tells him.

And it’s true: His payment has already been processed, the credits removed from his profile. The invoice showed up in his e-net overnight and he’d added it to his encrypted folder. “It’s just - weird,” he says, weighing each of the words on his tongue before he speaks. “To be in charge of another person like that. I don’t want that responsibility.”

I’m a Falling Star by @pixiegrl: 55k lashton fantasy, very cute and sweet

A philosopher once asked, “Are we human because we gaze at the stars or do we gaze at them because we are human?” Pointless really. “Do the stars gaze back?” Now that’s a question.

Or: Ashton’s a shop boy setting out on a adventure to find a star to help grant a wish. Luke’s a star crashed to Earth looking for some help to get back home. They’re both in for more adventure than they bargained for.

I Wanna Sleep Next to You... by milecgv: 54k malum college au. I read it over a year ago but I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it then

"Cuddle buddies, how can I help you?"

Pausing, Calum thought, he could just hang up. Get over the moment of weakness and face the rest of the night alone. He could do it. But the idea of spending one more second alone, brought a fresh pang of hurt to his heart and really, he couldn't bear it. Before his thought process could spiral out of control, the calm voice repeated itself.

"Um, yeah. I-, I need someone to-" He cut himself off because really, how was he going to phrase this?

Chuckling softly, the man on the other line interjected. "Sir, do you need someone to cuddle you?"

Shit, it was now or never. "Yeah. I-uh, I do." His voice came out so small, and he really hoped the man on the other side wouldn't pick up on how desperate he was.

~~~

Calum gets the opportunity to live out his dreams in New York City but it proves too much for him, and on a lonely night he ends up calling the professional cuddle service he swore he'd never call.

those are the only three completed fics over 50k that I personally can vouch for, but here are a few more longer ones I’ve read and I’ll link some over 50k that have gotten good reviews from my friends after those.

Destination: Perth by onlythevoid: 34k lashton

The stranger swung into the seat next to him and sighed contentedly. Luke stole a glance from under his hat. It was a boy with light-brown messy hair, reminiscent of surfers Luke saw on the beach in Brisbane - he had a t-shirt on and black jeans, and fade-tint round-frame sunglasses propped on his straight nose.

The stranger caught Luke’s eyes.

“Hey?” The stranger asked. Shouldn’t have looked at him, Luke thought. Too late.

The stranger had set his sunglasses on his head and was peering below Luke’s cap. “Dude. You look terrible. Are you okay?”

Oh, so the stranger was one of those guys. Too friendly and ever-inquisitive. Yes, Luke looked like shit; he’d been crying for an hour at a time, every few hours, and all he’d had to eat in the past two days was some wet broccoli at the hospital and a bag of chips he’d bought that morning in Brisbane, and there were bruises all up and down his right arm from a car crash he wished he’d died in.

Luke didn’t say any of that. He prayed his voice would be steady and said, “Yes. Thanks.”

The messy-haired boy did not seem convinced. After a pause, he offered, “My name’s Ashton, by the way.”

hello, hello by @clumsyclifford: 30k lashton

For one long, blinking minute, Luke stares at Ashton and wonders if he’s hallucinating. Because that’s definitely Ashton. That’s Ashton Irwin, his former best friend from Sunny Days, the show they co-starred on as children.

But it’s also definitely Ashton Fletcher, professional film actor worth many millions, possibly hundreds of millions, of dollars, standing on his doorstep, wind ruffling his hair.

Now for the fics that I haven’t read but can confidently say are good through a rigorous peer review system (aka I have friends who read them/I have read and enjoyed other works by these people)

home is wherever you are tonight by @lifewasradical: 72k lashton. this one is on my tbr, I have only heard good things, and I’ve read other things by Amanda and trust her as a writer

Life has become so mundane in the past few years that there’s very little that sends a thrill up Luke’s spine anymore. It’s that idea that had him saying yes to the idea of moving out here for a few weeks anyways: the knowledge that this was a completely new place where no one knew his name. He could be anyone he wanted to be here, within reason. He wouldn’t be seeing any of these people again after May, so what’s the harm in becoming a new person for a bit? Someone not so bogged down by the shit in their head that they can’t get out of bed some mornings. Maybe this is a step in the direction of the person Luke wants to be in the future anyways.

Or, Luke inherits a beach house on a tiny costal island that needs some work. He didn't plan on falling in love with the guy at the hardware store.

world war series by prettyluke: 58k lashton historical au. Megs really likes this one and I trust her judgement

Even after months of seeing bodies ripped apart by bullets and bombs, Ashton still isn't prepared to be ripped apart by the fragile German soldier who has seen far more than any child should.

and

Luke shows up in Britain after 25 years right in time for World War Two to start, and Ashton has been waiting for someone to yank him from his melancholy since Christmas of 1914.

i’ll keep on fighting (just to make you believe) by @squishmichael: 33k muke I have heard good things about this one, have read other works by Taylor and trust them as a writer, and also I did skim this one when it first came out and it’s good I just need to sit down and fully read while paying attention

“Hi, Mike,” Luke says softly.

Michael might have cried from hearing his voice so clearly, not through a phone line, but instead his smile just gets bigger and bigger until his cheeks hurt.

“Hey, Luke,” he replies before throwing himself at Luke, arms looping around his neck and holding tight.

“Easy there, tiger,” Luke says with a chuckle, but he hugs Michael back.

It feels so different, all the shapes and sizes wrong, yet Michael has never felt so at home, melting right into the hug. Luke still fits so perfectly against him despite everything. Because it’s them, and they’re meant to be, and Michael never wants to let go.

In which Luke is finally coming home to Australia for the summer after two years, and everything should be perfect. Michael quickly realizes nothing is.

Under the High Low Lights I See You There by @pixiegrl: 33k lashton 90s bar au. I have heard a lot of good things and I have read and enjoyed Emily’s writing

Luke moves onto cleaning the glasses, sneaking glances over at him, admiring the open blue flannel he’s wearing with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his chest in the white tank top he’s wearing and the pull of it over his muscles, the acid wash denim pants straining over his thighs. He’s attractive and Luke knows he shouldn’t be looking, shouldn’t be so obvious in his stares, but he can’t help it. The man was made to be admired.

Or: It’s the summer of 1996 in New York City when Luke meets Ashton at his bar. Things aren’t always as they seem.

He Did Ballet by @kaleidoscopeminds: 34k cake. people love this one and meg is a great writer

Like the way he danced, everything in Luke's life was perfectly placed, an allegro exercise all on beat, an enchainment with no mistakes. The last thing he needed was a distraction, something to pull his attention away and make him stumble, like losing your spot during a series of fouettés. He glances back towards the bar and sees Calum still looking in his direction. Luke catches his eye again by mistake for just a second too long and Calum smiles slowly and winks at him. Luke shivers slightly and already feels slightly unbalanced. Calum is definitely not a good idea.

Luke's life is perfectly on track. He is about to get everything he's ever wanted, to become a Principal dancer for the Royal Ballet. He's focused, determined and nothing will get in his way. Then he meets Calum, a smooth-tongued barman with dangerous eyes, and suddenly not everything's so simple.

The Sun Is Burning Down Los Angeles by @burstingsunrise: 40k cake. have heard good things and Molly is a good writer

Calum probably signed a form saying he wouldn’t fall in love with the lead singer of the band. And he really doesn’t want to. What a cliché. It’s just…people get famous for a reason. This guy got famous for all the reasons.

***

Calum moves to LA to work for 5SOS.

#fic rec #there really are not that many (good quality) smutless works over 50k #like less than I thought lol #and i think that the over 50k is key here #because i've seen other fic recs with like. 20k fics on them but that's not a TRUE longfic yknow #like none of my fics should be considered a longfic I don't think. unmute will eventually but that's not finished #anyway feel free to add any smutless fics over 50k that y'all know of that i missed!

21 notes · View notes

batfam-rewrites · 3 years

Text

Batfam During Quarantine One Year Special

On this date last year, I posted the first Batfam During Quarantine post and since then this blog has become more popular than I ever thought it would be (my expectations were honestly pretty low). As a thank you for all of the love you have given me, (I legit get a dopamine rush whenever I get a notification on my phone) here is some stuff that was cut out from earlier post along with notes of why I took some of these bits out! Thank you so much for one year on this particular story, I wouldn’t be posting as much on here without you guys!!!!

27 Minutes

Cass: I don’t think Bruce has slept.

Steph: Does Bruce even sleep anyway?

_____

Dick: I’m heading out to the store! *walks out wearing assless pants*

Bruce: *spits out his coffee* FUCK NO YOUR NOT! CHANGE THOSE PANTS!

[Note: I felt like this was a little too much effort for the possibility for a slight laugh to the point where it wouldn’t be funny.]

_____

Dick: I help him a bit. It's been so difficult acting like a grown up. I actually had to fight with Tim to get him to stop drinking so much coffee and that didn’t go well.

Barbara: What happened?

Dick: He threw a mug at me and said “Fuck you, I could stop when I want to!”

Barbara: Right, he definitely sounds like he has it under control.

[Note: Didn’t feel like this was as funny as sleep deprived Bruce.]

_____

Selina: So you and Tim seemed very coy during Dick’s meeting.

Stephanie: Yeah, Tim is awesome and everything but I don’t know if he feels how I feel. Plus he’s been a bit oblivious to everything.

Cassandra: With how much he brags about being just as smart as Bruce, you’d think he’d know.

Stephanie: Exactly!

Selina: Then again, Tim has a lot on his plate. He’s trying to help Bruce and doing patrol every night longer than he should.

Stephanie: Good point. Last night I saw him fill 3 flask with coffee and still looked extremely tired last night when I met up with him.

Selina: Damn.

[Note: I wasn’t too happy with how I wrote the first two Batfam During Quarantine post. When I was writing “27 Minutes” I realized how I wanted the relationship between Tim and Steph to play out and I wanted it to be more subtle with my hints on them getting together in “Retirement?”. Once I finish up every story that I want to tell I plan on going back to re-write what I originally wrote down, maybe add some more stuff, but one thing I definately want to change is the subtlety of the lead up to Tim and Steph getting together. That was why this was cut.]

Training Day

Kate: Please, I’ve been training much harder than most of you guys since I was 6.

Dick: That’s debatable.

_____

Dick: *embraces Tim in his arms* Tim, once when I was Robin, I stayed up for five nights. At the time I was trying to balance being the leader of the Teen Titans, being Bruce’s ward, competing for my gymnastics team, and trying to balance high school. I became so tired that on the fifth day I started to hallucinate. It didn’t help that at the time we were facing Scarecrow and he sprayed his fear toxin everywhere. With how weak my immune system was, I failed to fight off the fear toxin and ran away from Bruce. Because Bruce didn’t want me to hurt myself so he chased me and sent me to the batmobile. Three people died because I distracted Batman. When the toxin wore off, Bruce ordered me to go to sleep. I refused and he said that I am now suspended from patrol for two weeks. After a long conversation, not only was I suspended but I finally slept.

Tim: So what’s your point?

Dick: The first one is that change is going to happen whether we like it or not. It’s not what happens that shapes who we are but how we react to the changes that occur in our lives. The world is never going to be the same after this pandemic is over, so you could either adapt, or repeat your mistakes. Second is that it’s okay to not be okay. You are not alone, you have all of us at the mansion to talk to. Third is that people are going to die, and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is learn from what happened to stop it from happening again. And the most important one is to sleep. I know you are under a lot of stress right now, we all are, but how can you expect to save others if you won’t take care of yourself. You need to sleep because if you don’t you’ll eventually die in the field because of the lack of sleep.

[Note: Too wordy. I lost my own attention trying to read this when I originally wrote this.]

Avatar

Jason: Sh ta ta ta ta. *presses his finger to Selina’s lips* Don’t speak, I know just what you’re sayin’, so please stop explainin’.

Selina: Really Jason? How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Jason: *breaks into a dance* All night long, all night.

Stephanie: What is going on with you Jason?

Tim: I know right? You don’t ever listen to Lionel Richie, let alone pop music.

Jason: It’s his fault! *points at Dick* Him and his stupid playlist!

Dick: You said you liked my playlist!

Jason: I only like some of the songs on there! Everything else is trash!

Dick: *gasp* You take that back young man!

Jason: You’re not that much older than I am!

Cassandra: Guys!!! What is The Last Airbender?

Retirement?

Dick pulls up in front of the apartment that Barbara and her family lives in. He takes out his boom box and sets in a cassette tape. He sets the volume to the maximum setting. He holds the boom box over his head as Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” starts playing.

Dick: BABS!!!!

He waits out there for a few minutes until she opens up the window and leans out of it.

Barbara: You Dick!

The song ends and starts playing “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” from Aerosmith.

Dick: BABS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE TALK TO ME!

Neighbor 1: GO HOME!

Dick: I’M DOING THIS FOR LOVE!

Neighbor 2: LOVE IS DEAD YOU SCHMUCK!

Dick: YOU’RE HEART IS DEAD!

Neighbor 3: SHUT THE FUCK UP KID!

Jim Gordon: DICK, IT IS 5 AM! GO THE FUCK HOME!

Dick: FINE!

The next night

Dick walks up to the door to the Gordon family’s apartment. He knocks on the door and Jim opens the door.

Dick: Hey Jim, I was sorta expecting Babs to open the door.

Jim: *looks at the cards in Dick’s hands* Just take a hint kid. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.

Dick: I’m persistent, it’s part of my charm.

Jim: Whatever. *shuts the door*

A minute late Barbara opens the door.

Dick: *holding the cards*

Barbara: *arms folded* They’re facing you.

Dick: *looks down and flips the cards around* “Babs, I know I messed things up by *flips the card* not telling you Helena was staying at the *flips the card* mansion. I want you to know that you are *flips the card*

Barbara: *shuts the door on Dick*

Dick: I still have twenty-something cards left. At least finish reading them.

The next night

Dick walks out of his car carrying a blue french horn. He presses the buzzer for her place and walks back out on the grass. Barbara opens up the window again to see Dick holding the blue french horn. She then shuts the window.

Dick: So can I come in! Come on it’s a Smurf penis!

Neighbor 1: SHE SAID NO KID! GO HOME!

Two days later at the grocery store

Barbara is walking down the aisle looking for food. The music playing over the speakers as a voice replaces the music.

Dick: You’re just to good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you. You'd be like Heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much.

Barbara starts looking around the store for Dick and sees him leaning against a wall with one of the phones.

Dick: *notices Barbara and points to hear and then makes a heart with his hands* At long last, love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. *plays the instrumental part on his phone*

A store employee now spots Dick and heads towards him.

Dick: I love you, baby. And if it's quite alright. *struggles to keep possession of the phone* Get away, you’ll sing next. I need you baby *still fighting for the phone* To warm the lonely night. *starts climbing between the wall and the refrigerated section* I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say.

Barbara starts walking away embarrassed.

Dick: Oh, pretty baby, wait Babs, where you going? Babs? Babs? BAAABBS! LET ME ME LOVE YOUUUUU!

[Note: I felt the “How I Met Your Mother” reference would have either not been noticed or wouldn’t be as funny (if you don’t know which one I’m talking about it’s the smurf penis one) so I cut it out.]

_____

Dick: Okay, while things are a bit peaceful now, they’re not going to stay that way forever. Let’s try to plan ahead now and see if we can recruit any former members of Batman Inc. Tim, Steph, and Duke, you guys need to try and convince Luke to come out of retirement.

Duke: Can I have new partners?

Tim: Hey, Steph and I are amazing partners!

[Note: Not subtle.]

_____

Nightwing: Yeah, but as Red Robin, not Tim Drake.

Stephanie: Oh, because what you did the the other night was a total Red Robin move.

The other night

Nightwing: Hey, Spoiler, check this out! *jumps off the roof of a building* YEAH I’M FREEEEEEEE! FREE FAAALLLLLIIIN’! *fires his grappling hook across the street*

Present

Nightwing: You’re point is?

Duke: *mumbles under his breath* I need to find a new family.

_____

Nightwing: *singing as he swings* Arabella's got some interstellar-gator skin boots. And a Helter Skelter 'round her little finger and I ride it endlessly. *arrives at the apartment door and takes out his earbuds*

_____

Dick: *singing karaoke* And I won't listen to your shame. You ran away, you’re all the same. Angels lie to keep control, Ooh, my love was punished long ago, If you still care don't ever let me know, If you still care don't ever let me know!!!!

[Note: I felt like this wasn’t going to be super noticeable, especially the Slipknot one (last one). On top of that it felt like way too many song references just to say that Dick listens to a wide variety of music.]

Swear Jar

Dick: Everyone, please let us take some of your time to head down to the gym right now. The time has come to watch Jason fail a basic pommel horse routine!

Jason: Shut up!

Tim: Wooo! Let’s see Jason eat mat!

Stephanie: I don’t know what to expect but this should to be interesting!

*Everyone else walks in*

Bruce: Okay, lets see it!

Duke: I’ve seen this for the last few weeks so this could go one way or another.

Jason: All of you shut up!

Cassandra: *takes out her phone and records*

Jason: *steps up to the pommel horse and competes a whole routine and falls on his back during the dismount*

Duke: Ooofff.

Dick: *whispers to Tim* Well, your feet separated on the magyar.

Tim: You forgot to salute.

Jason: *salutes with a his middle fingers sticking out* How’s that?

Stephanie: *laughs*

Alfred: Jar, Master Jason.

Tim: Plus, your hands must be as straight as a knife.

Dick: You actually pressed into the handstand.

Jason: Are you guys seriously scoring me?

Damian: *smirks*

Tim: The loop on pommel was piked, legs were bent on you scissors.

Dick: And you didn’t stick your landing so we give you a score of...

Tim and Dick: EAT MAT!!

Bruce: *smirks a bit* Come on boys, be fair. You’re cutting him too much slack.

Dick: Yeah, his toes weren’t pointed, his butt hit the pommel.

Jason: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT SHIT!!!

Alfred: Jar!

[Note: Debated on sharing this one because this one was really just for me. Wasn’t sure if you guys would have liked it. Long way of saying Dick and Tim know gymnastics.]

_____

Tim: Hey, my mom is calling. Dick, you answer the phone.

Dick: Okay. *answers the phone* Hello, Tim isn’t here right now, would you like me to find him?

Tim’s Mom: Yes!

Dick: Okay, let me put you on hold *sings the Mii channel theme*

Dick: *taking a breath* Tim, your mom wants to talk to you. *goes back to singing*

Tim: Obviously I can’t. I’m working.

Dick: Okay, *stops singing* I’m sorry for having you on hold for so long. I can not find Tim so I would assume he is working! I am sure though he will either call you or text you at your earliest convenience. I mean his earliest convenience.

Tim’s Mom: Okay.

[Note: This actually happened but I felt that it was funnier in the moment then written down.]

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Tim: YOU DID NOT SEE ERIC CLAPTON AT THE HOTEL 3 YEARS AGO!!!

Jason: YES I DID!!!!

Tim: HOW, YOU WERE DEAD!!!!

Jason: MAGIC!!!!!

_____

Damian: *knocks on the door*

Jason: *opens the door with a box of Reese’s Puffs* What demon seed?

Damian: Give me back my Reese’s Puffs, Todd!!!

Jason: I don’t know what you’re talking about! This is my box! *finished eating the box of cereal and walks through the house towards the study*

Damian: I NEED MY CHOCOLATEY PEANUT BUTTERY CEREAL!!!! GET ME A NEW BOX!!!!!

Jason: You know how to drive, get it yourself! *moves the hands of the grandfather clock and enters the batcave*

Damian: Father won’t let me.

Jason: Boo hoo. What would you ever do. It’s not like you have a brother who will literally do anything if you give him a hug or another one who you could annoy into getting you some.

Damian: THEY DIDN’T EAT MY REESE’S PUFFS!!!! YOU DID!!!

Jason: You have no proof that I did. *throws the box away* Now piss off! I’m going on patrol! *hops onto his motorcycle and drives to his safe house*

Jason: *opens the door*

Damian: Liar!

Jason: AHHH!!! SON OF A BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!

Damian: GET ME MY REESE’S PUFFS!!!!!

Jason: FINE!

Damian: YAY!!!

Jason: *drives to the store then to the batcave* Get off!

Damian: Thank you, Todd!!!

Jason: Go fu-

Dick: Jason! Censor yourself!!!

Jason: Whatever *drives back to his safe house and opens the door. turns on the tv and puts in Rent in the dvd player*

Jason: *sighs and sits on the couch* Finally!

_____

Damian: Before you tell me anything, Todd already told me about sex and how I’m a freak of nature because my mother didn’t want to carry me for nine months.

Bruce: JASON!!!!!!!!!

Jason: WHATEVER IT IS, I DIDN’T DO IT!!!!! UNLESS YOU HAVE PROOF THEN I STILL DIDN’T DO IT!!!!!

Thanksgiving

Dick: Smart, toit. Okay I am thankful for Nickleback.

Tim: What the hell!

Duke: *to Bruce* Where did you go wrong?

Jim: *to Barbara* I think it’s time to let go of Dick.

Dick: Hold on, hold on. I am not thankful for Nickleback. If anything they are something I am least thankful for. It’s just what Alfred and Julia said was super serious I had to say something stupid. I’m truly thankful for this pandemic, because I feel it has brought us closer together as a family.

[Note: Not as funny as I thought it was when I thought of it.]

That is most of it. Yet again I hope you guys still enjoyed this and thank you so much for a whole year of this! I probably would have delayed more of these stories until who knows when if I didn’t know that there are people who actually read this! So thank you for a year and thank you for actually making me think of a deadline for all of this!!!!

I’m still working on a story that is going to be pretty long so it’s going to take a while before I publish that, but I have a few smaller stuff that I will try to spread out before I publish the larger one. I will also be posting a more organized version of each of these stories and post the cold open for the next story as a thank you for one whole year!!!

18 notes · View notes

whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

Text

MK OC Randomness part 8... I think. Fuck it! We're going with it!

Welcome back to the shit show. Let's go!

also some of these jokes are from lamas with hats

Qiao Fu is my name for the Lin Kuei Grandmaster

Also some of these jokes are based off skits done by Moonkitti on YouTube. Just re-worded a bit

Nozomi: Hey uncle Shinnok! Do your old man voice!

Shinnok, in his normal voice: What old man voice?

Nozomi: Yeah! That one!

------

Nozomi: ooh who's this?

Qiao Fu: That's my old wife.

Nozomi: The one who died long ago?

Qiao Fu: The very same

Nozomi: *eyeing the picture* That's too bad. She looks really cute.

Qiao Fu: I'm sorry, do you find my old wife attractive?

Nozomi: Do you not!?

------

Nozomi: I wanna see my little boy!

Shang Tsung: *helping Meat walk* Here he comes!

Nozomi: *scooping Meat up and hugging him* I wanna see my little boy!

------

"Revenant" Reiki: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!?

"Revenant" Michiko: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

"Rev" Reiki: Oh.

"Rev" Michiko: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

------

Shinnok: Shh, do you hear that?

Shinnok: That's the sound of forgiveness.

Melantha: That's the sound of people dying dad!

Shinnok: That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

------

Shariah: How did you even do this!?

Meat: A dollop of fairy dust!

Shariah: Meat!

Meat: I ripped the tag off a mattress.

Shariah: This isn't funny Meat!

Meat: Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people that just exploded.

Shariah: I'm leaving! I've had enough of this!

Meat: But thank of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now.

Shariah: What? Why?

Meat: Because we're friends. And friendship is two pals munching on well cooked faces together.

------

"The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell! And yet, here you are limbo dancing with the devil!"- Melantha to Hotaru at a family dinner.

------

"Oh no. There are consequences to your actions? Who would've thought?" Krow to Raiden and Flamus, still pissed at them for completely destroying a village that housed the remaining nymphs and nymphlims their husband made.

------

Nozomi: I'm just here to collect Michiko

Qiao Fu: *tries to stab her*

Nozomi: YOU'RE AN UNFIT FATHER FU! THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR DAUGHTER! YOU HAVE A HUMAN CHILD! WHO THE FUCK'S DEMON CHILD IS THAT! WHO ARE YOU STEALING CHILDREN FROM!?

------

Michiko: You are not my father!

Qiao Fu: Bring proof you are not my daughter!

Meixiu's ghost in the background: Bitch! You literally murdered her birth father!

------

Nyx: Get out

Reiko: Aww come on. Can't I check in on my favorite little sister?

Nyx: If you don't leave me my room Reiko, I will stab you. And when I do it won't look pretty.

Reiko: there's a pretty way to stab people? Like with a butterfly knife or something?

Nyx: yup. Handle and all.

Reiko: oh... OH!

------

Nemos: Greetings Thunder God!

Raiden: Eh? Nemos what are you doing here?

Nemos: I'm taking advantage of your guilt-ridden personality to get a head start on being a better realm protector while no one is looking.

Raiden: Nope. New timeline, new Raiden. Go- Go play with your sisters.

Nemos: I'll have you know I've lived 15 lives in which I've played with my sisters, and none of them have been consequential!

Raiden: *sighs* I'm trying to take you seriously. Really. But it just feels like an even smaller Shinnok is yelling at me right now.

------

Hotaru: *busting into the Sky Temple and picking up Nemos* My beautiful son, I am back from my epic battle of driving out the rebels!

Nemos: Tell me, man who sired me!

Hotaru: We were fighting when suddenly Soldier B produced a substance that burned through their skin!

Nozomi: That sounds like my poison...

Hotaru: Oh no! We'd never poison anyone. Only ambush them in the middle of the night, kill them through physical violence, and intimidate them in other wise orderly court proceedings. Poison is bad.

Nozomi: Have you considered maybe, asking him if he poisoned them?

Hotaru: Oh no, I trust him completely.

Melantha: *holding Discordia and Harmonia* But, what if he did?

Hotaru: *small whimper before glaring and shouting* Solider B! Come here and apologize to my wife for making her think about things immediately!

Solider B: Hi, what?

Hotaru: I said apologize to Melantha!

Solider B: Uh yeah, sorry for poisoning the rebels or something..

Melantha: Hey, has anyone seen Nemos?

------

Darrius: It seems one of the soldiers has summoned Melantha to their side.

Hotaru: *spying on the rebels* Gonna go see Melantha. I'm gonna see Melantha at the meeting. Gonna see Melantha. Melantha.

------

OB: I made a perfectly good Titan

Fuyuka: You fucked up my daughter is what you did!

Fuyuka: Look at her! She's traumatized!

------

Amara: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Leila: I think you mean cards.

Amara, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

------

Ermac: Bad things keep happening to us, like we have bad luck or something.

Zyta: Ermac, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

------

Zyta: You love me, right, Ermac?

Ermac: Normally, we’d say yes without hesitation, but we feel like this is going somewhere and we don’t like it.

------

Kristy: *steps on her glasses by accident*

Kristy: *inhales* If I knew that this would be the fate that befalls me and these damned glasses, I would've just let the fire reach my left eye and burn it out completely!

------

Megumi: I turned out perfectly fine!

Ayeka: Megumi, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Megumi: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

------

Zyta: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Philomela: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

------

Discordia, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Harmonia: You did WHAT–

Nemos: William Snakepeare

------

Discordia: Hey Harmonia,

Harmonia: Yes?

Discordia: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Harmonia:

Harmonia: Where’s Nemos?

------

Discordia: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Harmonia: Discordia no.

Nemos: Mistlefoe.

Harmonia: Please stop encouraging her.

------

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Philomela please come to the front desk?

Philomela, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Amara and Zyta*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Amara and Zyta, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Philomela: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

------

Erron, driving Ash and Kamden: So how was your day?

Ash: We almost got surprise adopted!

Erron: What?

Kamden: We almost got kidnapped.

Erron: Oh, okay.

Erron: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

------

Nozomi: Welcome, fellow idiots

Kung Lao: Hello, Nozomi

Nozomi: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Kung Lao: You underestimate me

------

Nozomi: What are your goals?

Kung Lao: To pet all the dogs.

Nozomi: No, fitness goals.

Kung Lao: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

------

Liu Kang: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Nozomi: That's why I carry two swords.

------

Sareena: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Michiko's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

------

Sareena: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Michiko: You mean literally or figuratively?

Sareena: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

------

Sareena: Michiko... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Michiko: Your text told me to Satanize the house before you returned.

Sareena:

Sareena: I wrote sanitize, Michiko.

------

Sareena: You kill people for money?!

Michiko: I can explain!

Sareena: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

@deepinthefog @merplderpl @yuvononik @dontunderestimatemypoison @feistyfandomthings @toomanyf4ndoms7 @daddydestrey @tora-lotus @calcium1790 @starneko123 @dinogoofy @bar10du @cyberbloodgoddess

24 notes · View notes

hatterstan-shameblog · 3 years

Note

Here is the first one

Second :D

And last..he's looking at you 👀💦

ALRIGHT you know WHAT—

There’s…a lot going on here. So much so, that I have decided to create

CONTEXT

for these three images that is

COMPLETELY FAKE

because I think it’ll be a fun writing exercise. kind of a cringe move on my part, but consider: i have fun making up ridiculous lies about characters who don’t exist in real life.

(which is how I’m treating these, by the way. yes, they are pictures of kaneko nobuaki, but for my purposes, they are NOT actually him. they are distinct fictional characters who are not real.)

so if you’re feeling adventurous skip below the cut and watch me break it down:

Image 1: Accidental “Date” Makes Cousin’s Wedding Less Terrible Than Originally Expected

The year is 1999. Your cousin (who you are not particularly close to) is getting married…on a cruise ship. Your mother insists you attend. You insist upon spending 90% of your time sipping margaritas on the deck and flipping through the latest issue of Marie Claire while trying desperately not to think about the fact that you are surrounded by nothing but open ocean.

One of the (very drunk) bridesmaids tries to toss you a beach ball because you have been, and I quote: like, a total bummer this whole time. She misses. It hits the person next to you in the face. Great. Awesome. You think: well now who’s being, like, a total bummer?

Luckily the person who got hit in the face laughs the entire thing off. He says your friends seem…’lively.’ You say that’s pretty rich coming from a guy who looks like a rejected member of ‘The Clash.’ He insists that he left them, not the other way around.

You slip into conversation. You tell him that you’re here for a wedding. He offers his condolences. You accept them. He says he actually likes weddings—something about two people making a life-changing commitment speaks to him on a soul-level. That and the open bar, of course.

You suggest he crash the wedding. He says he’s not sure if he can make it—there’s a shuffleboard tournament that evening that he would just hate to miss, plus the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest is waiting on his bedside table just begging to be opened. You say that’s perfectly understandable, but, if he suddenly finds himself caught up on the latest All My Children gossip, he can meet you back here at four.

Surprise, surprise: he shows up. He’s wearing the same shirt he was before, but buttoned up this time—and with one of the most hideous neckties you’ve ever seen, which he apparently borrowed from the kind old man next door. Instead of complimenting his attire (because it is truly un-compliment-able), you take the opportunity to mention that this is a Titanic-themed wedding. He says that having a Titanic-themed wedding on a cruise ship is “kind of fucked up” and you solemnly agree.

Everyone is very surprised and pleased to see that you’ve brought a date—even the bride, who tells you that you’re “just like Jack and Rose.” You agree, much to her delight…until you say that, if the ship goes down, you also won’t share the door and let him freeze to death in the icy water. He insists he’d be the guy who jumps off the ship and hits his leg on the propellor—that’s his favorite part of the whole movie, and it’d be an honor to re-enact the scene.

The wedding is…a wedding. Vows, toasts, pictures—and you’re sipping champagne through the entire thing. The two of you spend the evening getting completely wasted and telling everyone a different story about just who your ‘mystery date’ is. Highlights include: the captain’s unruly son whose been tasked with following in his father’s sea-faring footsteps; professional cave-diver who discovered a new species of slug and is spending his reward money on a nice vacation; head of marketing who gives all those clever names to the nail polishes at OPI; the guy who folds everyone’s towels into animal shapes.

You end up where you started: on neighboring lounge chairs, with a margarita, and talking to this stranger who has recently crossed into “acquaintance” territory. You chat about how “My Heart Will Go On” is actually a good song, and he promises not to tell anyone that you said that. He also says that this is the best Titanic-themed cruise ship wedding he’s ever been to, and he can’t wait until somebody decides to do Jaws.

Eventually, you both stagger back to your rooms with promises of seeing each other at breakfast. Unfortunately, you have the worst hangover of your life the next morning and even the thought of ‘breakfast’ makes you want to roll over and die, so you don’t manage to stumble out of bed until it’s time to disembark.

You see him at port, and you each offer each other a little wave before going your separate ways. Six weeks later, you get a Polaroid of the two of you together, sitting at the bar and laughing at something that must have been very, very hilarious.

You don’t remember most of what happened that night, but you remember it was not as terrible as it could have been.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 2: Extremely Weird Guy On The Street Has You Questioning Your Sanity

It’s 6:00 in the morning—a truly terrible time to be awake, but a necessary evil. Your flight leaves at 10, and since it’s an international thing, you want to make sure you get there in plenty of time to get to your gate (and maybe sample all the fancy perfumes you can’t afford at one of those high-end stores that are always in airports.)

The streets are mostly empty, save for a few random pedestrians and a handful of passed-out salarymen snoozing on the curb. The sky a rainy gray-blue as the sun tries to rise behind the springtime cloud cover—it’s no doubt going to be another dismal day, as is common during this time of year. Hopefully there’s not too much turbulence on your flight…

You stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little walking man signal to show up on the light across the way. You’re soon joined by another person—a man in a soft-looking jacket who supplies you with a small “good morning” bob of his head. You respond in kind, throwing in a small smile for good measure. It’s nice that he too understands that it’s entirely too early to be having any kind of conversation, even if it is just a simple verbal greeting between strangers on a street corner.

The light changes, and you both begin your trek across the street. Your fellow walker is faster than you—or, more likely, has longer legs and, ergo, a longer stride than your own—and is nearly halfway across by the time you get your wheeled suitcase over the curb. He seems decent enough. You hope he’s going somewhere nice.

It’s then that you make the mistake of looking up. It would have been much better if you had just continued watching the white painted lines on the road and thinking about how it reminds you of piano keys—and how you hated the six months of piano lessons your parents forced you to take in the first grade.

But no. You noticed someone walking towards you, and you just had to look up.

The first thing you notice is a rainbow tie-dye shirt. The second thing you notice is that the rainbow tie-dye shirt is on a very cheerful looking gentleman, who seemed to be bobbing his head in time with a song only he could hear.

The third thing you notice—and this one’s the real kicker—is the large blue-and-green reptile sitting on his shoulder. It’s bulging eyes are hooded in pleasure as it’s red-pink tongue darts out to eat the green something—maybe a grape or a small piece of melon?—from the rainbow tie-dye man’s hand. It is nothing short of a spectacle, honestly, and you feel a piece of your sanity evaporate.

The rainbow tie-dye man continues on, uncaring of your confused stare at his strange pet. You even turn around to make sure that you weren’t somehow hallucinating, and sure enough, there is definitely some kind of creature draped over this stranger’s shoulder. It’s tail even sways in time with the man’s steps, which is both cute and confusing.

Because it would not do to stand in the middle of the street all day, considering the existence of rainbow tie-dye man and his exotic pet, you do the only thing you can do: turn back around and continue on your journey. You need a coffee. Maybe with an extra shot of espresso, after witnessing whatever the hell that was. Something to set you right again.

“Was that…?”

The other man—the soft-coat long-stride one—is speaking low enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough for you to hear as you make your way towards the sidewalk. His expression reads ‘concerned, but trying not to show it’ which you suppose is the polite and mature way of handling the situation.

“…an iguana? Yeah,” you answer him, “I saw it too.”

The man’s brow furrows. His mouth puckers into a small frown as he considers…well, something.

“…Okay, then,” he concludes, shrugging his shoulders, “Hell of a way to start the day.”

“Yeah.”

And you both continue on your way. He turns left at the next intersection, you turn right—but even though your paths may now be different, you will forever share an unbreakable bond over the fantastical sight you’ve witnessed today.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 3: Near Death Experience At Open Mic Night

You are not a poet.

Well, not professionally, anyways. You’ve been known to dabble in the written word, often scribbling little snippets of rhyme in a notebook over your lunch break or tapping a verse or two into the notes app on your phone. It a kind of outlet, you suppose—a way to keep the creative energy that bubbles inside of you from boiling over.

It’s also worth mentioning that you are not a confident public speaker. Not since that unfortunate incident in the third grade where you forgot the single line you had in the school play and ran off stage, tears streaming down your face and—actually, no, you’re not going to think about that right now. Or ever again, hopefully.

So when your (tipsy) coworkers decide that it’s a good idea to push you onto the stage at the local dive bar’s open mic night—while shouting at you to “read the one about the night-blooming jasmine”—you freeze up. There are at least seven strangers staring at you, expectation rising with every passing second of your inaction. It’s nerve-wracking in the way that the third-grade incident was not, and you gulp against the nervousness that rises in your throat.

Shaking hands scroll frantically through your phone, looking for the requested poem—and after a few agonizing moments, you manage to find it. Your voice cracks rather embarrassingly as you begin to read, trying your damndest to get the words out right so you can slink back to the bar and drown the rest of the night in Chardonnay.

Everything is going well—or, at least, as well as can be expected—until you notice that the room is suddenly feeling very hot. That’s the last coherent thought you have before the room goes dark and everything falls silent.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at the ceiling. A man who you do not know is leaning over you, and his mouth is moving—oh, he’s probably trying to say something to you, but it’s very difficult to tell what he’s saying over the throbbing pain in the back of your head.

You ask him if you’re dead. It’s a possibility after all, that you’ve somehow died and landed yourself in some kind of special public-speaking hell. That’s what this feels like, anyways.

The man says no, you are not dead. You say ‘dammit’ in response. He tries to hold back laughter, offering to help you up by extending his hand. You take it and—ouch, ugh, ew, going from laying to standing is not a fun experience.

You thank him (albeit awkwardly) for helping you up, and he insists that ‘it’s cool.’ Passing out in front of an audience is not even remotely cool, but you nod and thank him again, anyways.

Before you’re able to converse with the helpful stranger any further, your coworkers have come to collect you. You are whisked away by someone from accounting, who offers to escort you home—an offer you gladly accept, very excited to leave the site of your failure behind you.

Safe to say, you never go back to that particular bar again.

#writings and such #thought you’d get me with a thirst post WELL I JUST THREW DOWN AN UNO REVERSE CARD BAYBEEEEE #‘he’s looking at you’ YOU TRYNA MAKE ME BLUSH CUZ ITS WORKIN OKAY???#fun fact: the second one was inspired by MULTIPLE real-life events #can’t wait to wake up tomorrow morning and regret this <3

43 notes · View notes