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sunny-mercya · 1 month

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Safe Arms

Poly! Billy Loomis & Stu Macher x FTMale Reader

Fandom -> Scream 1996

Requested by -> Anon

Masterlist

Warning: Mention of Breasts

Woodsboro had quite the big population. Not as large as Los Angeles or Santa Monica of course, but enough not to feel completely out of place or knowing you would be one of the few—like how it would be most of the times in towns and Villages.

And yet, besides knowing you're not the only Trans-Person in Woodsboro, you do feel out of place—like a fish on land.

Maybe it was because throughout your school years and the slow progress of transition, you hadn't anyone to talk about it—to relate with someone who was like you and perhaps that was the reason why you felt like this, as if you didn't belong here or anywhere.

Though yet again, when you're with Billy and Stu—your boyfriends—you felt just right in where you are—because neither Billy or Stu, they knew about you being Trans since the beginning of your relationship, treat you any differently and saw you as what you truly are. A man.

It were moments like these, which proved your inner nagging thoughts into a silence, that you belonged here—be it Woodsboro or any other place you decided to live—and that you're not alone. Moments like these, which made you fall in love with your two mans over again.

It had been some stressful weeks for you, exams and part-time Job piling up onto your nerves—straining them to an snapping point—and when a wave of dysphoria had rolled over you—taunting your mind and self-confidence, which you build up slowly but steady over the years—to feel comfortable—your high strung nerves had snapped in half and you cried, more ugly sobbing it was, for two days.

You had stayed home the whole week—had forced yourself to go to school last week already, till it became unbearable much to even consider leaving your bed at all, without feeling so disoriented.

When Billy and Stu didn't saw you in school, they grew a bit worried about you—especially when you ignored their calls—having a good hunch of why you stayed at home—and once they've asked your older siblings and they confirmed their suspicions, Billy and Stu decided to visit you and do a sleepover.

~~~

Sitting in the middle of your bed, in nothing clad but boxers, you let Billy take off your binder—he's careful not touch whats beneath it—although you being on transition, the much needed operation to remove your breasts would only become real, when you had saved up enough money for it—and once the soft material was off from your skin, you wanted to curl into yourself and hide away.

The feeling of your breast—these ugly breasts, those lumps of flesh—which are now hanging freely on your chest, racked a shudder through your body—visible flinching away from Billy's hands and crossing your arms over your breasts—wanting to hide them, to make them disappear once more.

Billy pry'ed your arms from your chest, pulling one of Stu's shirts—which in terms of size—even though Stu's more lanky limps than bulky wide, he still wears shirts in size of XL or XXL—looks so massive on you, that it looks like as if you're swallowed whole in the material—over you.

You sighed out in relief, closing your eyes, when your breast were now covered—feeling more secure and comfortable again.

Stu, after setting up the dvd-player for tonight's movie marathon—which, despite being summer, consisted of the whole Halloween Chronicles and other Horror and Slasher movies—had crawled onto the bed as well—engulfing you in his long lanky but strong arms and covers your face with little smooches of butterflies kisses.

»You looks so sexy in my shirt, [Name], I could eat you up right away« Stu grinned, licking over his lips—thought about to lock you into a tongue battling french-kiss, but with your current mood it wouldn't be such a good idea to do so, didn't want to make you uncomfortable and cry—when you're already feeling so in the down—so instead Stu decides to give you a big final kiss on the cheek.

»Horrorfilms again?« you asked, cuddling more into Stu's side, when he had pulled you down to the mattress.

You had nothing against Horrorfilms, just to watch them 24/7 a week and throughout the year, could be a bit—a tiny bit—tedious to do so for your eyes and mind.

»What can I say, they are the best to watch. Aren't they? But don't worry, pretty boy, we will watch your favourite movies too.«

Billy calling you „pretty boy“ makes your heart soar—brought a small smile onto your lips—because that's what you are; a boy.

»Yeah, I am a pretty boy.« you repeated, voice still in a hushed whisper, but with confidence in it.

Billy placed the bags of chips around you all, getting into bed himself—pressing the button of the remote to start the first movie—and laying down next to you, draping an arm around your shoulders.

»Don't be a such a hogger, Stuie. I want a share of our darling boy too.«

»You're more a hogger than I am!« Stu furrowed his eyebrows slightly, pouting childish at Billy.

»Such a lie. You definitely hog him more.«

»Boys, I'm in the middle and you both get a fair share. So now, no more fighting and let's watch these movies now.« you said, patting each of their legs—knowing well that once a discussion between your boyfriends would break out, it could last the whole night and probably would go into the nasty side of insults.

Although you had a shitty week and still feeling in the dumpster—as if you didn't belong anywhere anymore at all—having Billy and Stu next to you, their arms around you, felt like the safest place on earth.

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yuri-is-online · 22 days

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I imagine Deuce!Yutu is either A. The Ultimate Honor Student with perfect grades and a plsmile that makes old nannies and mothers swoon (Yutu: "Thanks, its because me and my parent are the local "weirdos" I had to overcorrect and become a golden child (':") OR B. just as bad as pre-NRC Deuce was, a gang member who'd jump anyone who'd look at him wrong (but still cried until he was sick when he watched My Girl (1991) behind Yuu's back. They told him not to because they knew it was sad, he didn't listen).

I imagine Yuu's main memory of Deuce to their Yutu was how much Deuce believed in self-improvement and redemption, always trying to be a better man, which either version of Yutu can't help but admire or respect, despite their complicated feelings over their absent father.

Upon meeting him in the "current" timeline as a student, A or B either can't help but give Pop's an A for effort, despite missing the goal sometimes or finds him a little cringe for being such a tryhard.

I had to google the movie you mentioned and got jump scared by it taking place in Pennsylvania. Pretty sure I have driven through the place it's supposed to be set before... and fuck just reading the synopsis made me cry I don't think I could watch it ;-; poor Yutu should have listened to his parent.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here.

I feel like I have read too much Tokyo Revengers because... we can have both: an honor student with a delinquent mean streak sounds like a good set up for Deuce! Yutu. Not that I think he would behave like Kisaki does exactly, but still. Dylla mentions in the White Rabbit event that she wasn't on the best terms with her mother when she was a teen, and we know about how Deuce was in middle school, so the idea of Yutu having a bit of a temper and rebellious streak to him does make a degree of sense. Sadly, I think that extends to his interactions with Yuu... so things are about to be angsty on two fronts today.

Much like Deuce, Yutu was just the cutest baby. He loved all things cute and fluffy. Bunnies, kitties, puppy dogs, he was such a sweet little kid who really loved chasing around butterflies in the great outdoors. He really loved to read, and learned how to do so at a very early age. When Yuu was having a bad day he would pick out one of his favorite books and insist on reading them a bedtime story so they could take a nap without any nightmares. If he was especially worried he would bring his favorite nightlight with him.

Not that anyone would ever dare to suggest it given what Yutu is like now, but he was very afraid of the dark as a child. He still is, there's just something about the void that exists in the darkness that screams danger to him. When he's isekaid to Twisted Wonderland it evolves into an extreme fear of blot and phantoms. I'd like his unique magic to have something to do with light or stars, something inspired by the Second Star to the Right from Peter Pan? I think it would be cute for someone afraid of the dark to be able to provide their own light.

When Yutu reaches middle school there's a noticeable change in his relationship with you. He's still polite, still bringing home good grades and unoffensive comments from his teachers. But he's a bit cold, as if he is purposefully putting emotional distance between you. His friends all treat you respectfully, but you just have a feeling, left over from somewhere, that you know what is likely going on but you can't put your finger on what. He gets angry when you try to ask questions, yelling something about how you just don't understand, maybe even throws in something about this being your fault...

I wrote about Riddle! Yutu having some fights with Yuu, but Deuce! Yutu's fights are so much worse. While Riddle! Yutu typically comes out of his room blubbering big fat tears ready to apologize, Deuce! Yutu feels the need to double down and save face. He does believe his parent has amnesia, he's seen how they act, but what he does not get is why they insist on feeling so fond of his dad and refuse to move on. In his mind their life could be a lot better if Yuu was willing to be honest with themselves about who his dad probably was. Yutu is very hung up on why Deuce felt the need to be redeemed, focusing on self improvement is all fine and good if you are someone worth redeeming but he's not around for Yutu to judge. And Yuu doesn't remember...

He's young, stupid, and angry, and he takes it out on anyone who looks at him wrong. What's worse for authority figures who want to help is that he's veeeery smart about how he does it. When he jumps someone you can bet there won't be cameras around to see it. When the police start troubling Yuu about what he's doing it's mostly just in the hope that they'll be able to talk some sense into their kid rather than to arrest Yutu or anything like that, but it doesn't work. Yutu gets to see the same thing that his dad did all those years ago, his parent crying because of his behavior but there's no grandparent Yuu is asking advice of. Since I am in the mood to be extra cruel, let's say the day that fight takes place, the day Yutu sees Yuu crying is the day he hears a very important name for the first time.

Deuce. His father's name is Deuce and the reason why he wasn't around was because he was from the other world that came to swallow up him and his parent the instant they began to remember. He doesn't get time to cover up the signs of his rebellion, or really a chance to say sorry. He has to look Grandpa Crewel in the face and admit that he made Yuu cry and added to the overly stressed mess their life had become. Everything they said about Deuce was true, and what's worse he was like him.

I feel like Deuce would be the sort of person who wanted to make a lot of home videos. Cater probably would be too, but he'd store most of them on his phone and I think that would be lost to time by the time his Yutu came home. Maybe it's because of the ghost camera, or his desire to be an "honor student" evolving into wanting to be an "honorable husband and father" but Deuce totally bought a video camera to take cheesy videos to show Yutu as he grew up. Instead the kid gets to see fragments of a life he could have had as he listens to his dad tell him about his life and how he met Yuu.

"Honestly I have no idea why they said yes." Deuce is a dork. A complete dork who looks so... young and life like in the video. He knows what features he took from Yuu but watching Deuce talk, he can pick up on the ticks, the way his mouth sets when determined. The look of shock that always made Yuu laugh, it bursts into view when he hears Yuu laugh as they enter the frame to snuggle into Duece's side, to press their face against his cheek with a happily contended sigh. "Y-yuu you're making me look uncool in front of the baby."

"He's not here yet!" You giggle and for the first time in a long time Yutu feels himself choking up as he watches his dad get all silly looking at the thought of his arrival.

"We're really looking forward to meeting you kiddo. I promise, nothing will ever happen to you. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well. Technically kept that last promise didn't you." He tries to play it off like a joke, but Crewel isn't laughing and neither is Yutu.

Gets put in Heartslabyul, but isn't exactly determined to be an honor student like his dad. While Deuce enjoys a good fight or the feeling of the wind in his hair... Yutu mostly got into fights because he was angry and needed someone to take it out on. Because of that temper he struggles with learning and controlling his magic but he still does pretty well with the practical academic side of things. He's proud of his ability to understand these things, and takes a lot of comfort in knowing his dad would be excited at knowing he was good at things like math and science.

Like with the other Heartslabyul boys, he had to fight his father's phantom. He sees putting Deuce to rest as part of his penance for how he treated Yuu in the years leading up to getting isekaid. He refuses to go back in time until he's able to lay this version of his father to rest next to Yuu so he can promise both of them, to their faces, that he'll create a world where they all can be together and live as a family.

Deuce is extremely friendly to Yutu! He wants to learn as much about Yuu's world as he can so he can help them feel as at home in Twisted Wonderland as possible. He makes sure to let Yutu know that extends to him too once Yuu warms up to having him in the friend circle, Uncle Ace is much less enthusiastic but it's clearly from a place of care towards Yuu. He starts to warm up when he sees Yutu trying his hardest to tutor Deuce, though he claims it's because he just thinks it's funny but really it's because Ace wants to see Deuce succeed.

Very correct on his feelings about Pops. His dad is so wildly cringe it's unreal. His effort is inspiring until he starts getting embarrassed for losing his temper and stuttering, or seven forbid you look at his grades. The more he interacts with both of you the more certain he becomes that Deuce would never have abandoned him... and that he is so getting grounded when Deuce learns about how he treated Yuu. And what's worse is that Yutu sort of wants him to.

Surprisingly that's not what happens at all. When Deuce learns who Yutu is, whether by sleuthing or through a violent confrontation with a monster from the future, when the whole story is laid out before him and his son bows to beg for his judgement it doesn't come at all. His Pops yanks him up by the collar and turns him towards Yuu.

"Say all of that again to your parent." Deuce's voice is as stern as it is serious. Yuu looks distraught, not quite to the point they were on the day everything changed but getting there as Yutu immediately breaks down and chokes, crying and begging for your forgiveness and saying he's sorry as Deuce brings all three of you together into a strong embrace. "I'm not the one you need to make things up to, but it's ok. I know exactly how you feel and we'll work through things together."

Deuce doesn't feel like he can be overly angry at Yutu for taking after him. He does feel the need to apologize to Yuu, profusely and in private, for putting them in so much danger and not being there to help Yutu work through his temper. If I was writing this as a story, I'd make Yuu sort of afraid of Yutu's feelings? I could see them blaming themselves and things being a bit awkward within their relationship with Yutu where they had been very good before the reveal. With Deuce being the loving and understanding partner that he is, the bridge is once again mended and the whole family gets to indulge in hobbies that aren't beating the shit out of other people.

Yutu gets back into reading, and starts looking up manuals and histories of blastcycles so he has something to talk to his dad about. He was right about his dad being extremely proud of him for being smart, he's that classic mechanic working class dad who can't stop talking about his kid who went to college and has pictures of him in his garage he makes sure to point out to everyone who comes in. Said person is really just Ace who really wants to make fun of Deuce and Yuu for being cringe together but is too focused on this whole world ending thing and wants everyone to be more focused on that.

Deuce promises that he is, he has a lot of confidence in the ability of your little group to be able to win against stacked odds. You've done it before you can do it again. Yutu couldn't have picked better allies, he's really determined to show him that and be a dad his son can be proud of. He repeats his promise to Yutu that he's never going anywhere, even though the kid never told him anything about the tapes because he really means it. He wants that world little Yutu dreamed of and older Yutu swore to fight for to be a reality, and it's his job as an honorable dad and future husband (he gets so flustered when he says that) to be the one on the front lines of fighting for it,

... just please please please do not tell Yutu about the egg incident. He doesn't think he could handle that embarrassment.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade x yuu #ace! yutu is a charming rogue like robin hood #deuce! yutu is like basil from the great mouse detective #this took forever as i was inflicted with some big sleepies but i think they're gone now? we shall see

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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 8 months

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AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

❤︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

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➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

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#ghost bc #ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa x reader #papa primo #papa secondo #papa terzo #papa copia #copia x reader #terzo x reader #primo x reader #secondo x reader #crack fic #crack headcanons #ghost bc crack #the band ghost #ghost x reader #ghost bc x reader

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hannahssimblr · 1 month

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I shoulder through the front doors into the fresh spring air, still a little breathless with adrenaline, to where Michelle is waiting for me. She looks unhappy.

“How did it go?” I say.

“Oh, awful, they were like robots, so intimidating. I didn’t know what they thought of my work, you know? I really thought I’d start crying at one point.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and that woman was so cold. She was pulling all of these faces at my self portraits and saying they were naive.”

“Oh, God,” In an attempt at reassurance I start rubbing her arm, “I’m sure they liked plenty things about your work.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I sensed they hated all of it.”

“They couldn’t have, it’s probably just your perception, they… I bet they’re harsh to everyone, you know? They probably don’t want to get anyone's hopes up with there being limited places and all…”

She looks at me, “Was yours bad too?”

“Awful,” I say without missing a beat, “Same as you, they gave me nothing. It was hard to tell what they really thought of my work, but they didn’t seem overjoyed by any of it to be honest.”

“Oh,” her shoulders relax, “well if they were like that with you then they must be just playing hard ball.”

“I think so.”

“What if we don’t get in?”

“Well fuck ‘em,” I grin, “We don’t need them. NCAD? Who cares, right? It’s not exactly at the top of our list.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“Something else will work out, right?”

“Of course it will! C’mon, let’s just grab a coffee and chill out,” I drape my arm over her shoulder and walk her around the corner to where I parked the car.

The car, the brand new, shiny, blue Volkswagen Polo that my parents got me for my eighteenth birthday, is gleaming under the afternoon sun, one tyre wedged awkwardly against the kerb because I haven’t yet mastered the art of parallel parking when there are two other impatient drivers beeping their horns at me and gesticulating wildly out their windows.

“He just got his fucking licence, you spas!” Michelle screamed at them from the passenger window as I manoeuvred myself into a gap big enough to house an articulated truck but somehow felt the width of a water closet as soon as I tried to fit my 1.0 litre hatchback into it. I could have told her that firing middle fingers at other drivers left and right wasn’t really doing much to diffuse the situation, but it seemed she was reaching some sort of catharsis from it. She likes that. Screaming, I mean.

This car has been a point of contention, not because I can’t park it well, but because it was an extravagance I neither needed nor desired. “We live in the city,” I protested when my parents handed me the keys, “I can just take the bus.” But they had this idea that I might like to drive it into school and be the envy of all the other students, poverty stricken losers without parents who can buy them vehicles worth half the average national salary. I told them I can just walk like always, and they didn’t like that.

“This is a good present,” said my dad, as though insisting could make it so, “You can drive all over, you won’t have to rely on public transport any more.”

“Did I say I didn’t like public transport?”

“Well, you could get mugged on the bus, someone could pull out a knife and take your phone and all of your money! That kind of thing is happening all over the city lately.”

I showed him my Nokia from 2004 and asked him what kind of person might like to risk prison for it, but he didn’t appreciate that, and it just escalated the argument further.

“I’m not going to even live in Ireland in a year, not if I can help it!” I cried with exasperation, after a further ten minutes of his dramatics, “What’s the point?”

“Sell it then!” he bellowed back, “I don’t care what you do! It’s yours!”

“I just don’t need it! It’s too much. You can use that money for something better.”

“Money? Money is not an issue.”

“Well that car will be wasted just sitting in the driveway.”

“You’ll figure out what to use it for.”

And I did. I still walk to school, I still take the bus into town most days (when I’m not hauling two A1 portfolio cases along with me), but sometimes, late at night Michelle and I drive up and down the coast. We get ice cream at the drive through, we talk, but mostly I park it in the darkest corner of some car park, sea facing for maximum romance, and we fuck in the passenger seat. Not that I’ve kept track of it by any means, but I’m almost certain I have spent more time having sex in my shiny, blue, Volkswagen Polo than actually driving it. I’m sure it wasn’t Christopher’s intention for it, and it might affect the resale value, but the car has become a haven of sorts, a place where we can go to be alone, at a safe distance from my nosy sister, from Michelle’s anxious father, and perhaps most vitally, from Jen, who has never quite stopped being weirded out by our relationship, even with nine full months to get used to it.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2010 #the car <3 #you'll be happy to know that Christopher is such a fucker #tw: sex

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lost-girl-2021 · 1 year

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OMG, OMG, OMG

I apsolutly loved your Metkayina!Spider Human/Modern AU headcanons, like it gave me my daly dose of serotonin.

Can you maybe bless us with some more if it's not a problem?

I’m glad you enjoy my random ranblings lol! Here’re some more thoughts on Metkayina/Adopted! Spider. This first part is Modern!AU Foster Kid! Spider, I’ll upload a second part soon that’s post-battle on Pandora.

Spider doesn’t really know how to manage his hair at all. (In my Modern AU’s, Spider has hair kinda like Olan Prenatt (Mid 90s movie). Long, blond, and curly. He likes long hair, but doesn’t really know how to take care of it properly/doesn’t like ‘wasting time’ on hair care when he could be doing other things. As a result, he usually has a kind of frizzy mess, especially when he first wakes up.

I think he’d be too embarrassed to ask for help when he first starts living with them, but I aslo think that either Aounung or Ronal would offer him help at some point. Like, Aounung sees him using 3-in-1 Shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, and has a mini stroke. I think Aounung would be a lot more forceful/straight about it when talking to Spider. Something like “Dude, that shit you call hair care makes me want to shave your head. Sit down, we’re fixing this mess.”

Spider kind of just does his own thing most of the time when he starts living with them. Like, his past few foster homes were trash, to say the least. Maybe at the last place, if he wasn’t home by eleven, they’d just lock him out. Not even to be mean, but because they didn’t bother checking that he was even there. He’s used to taking care of himself, probably independent to a fault after so long basically alone.

A month or so after living with Ronal and Tonowari, he’s invited to the skatepark by a boy in his math class. It’s nearby the school, so he just texts his foster siblings that he doesn’t need a ride hime and they skate there after class. He hasn’t been to an actual skatepark in over a year, since his last placement didn’t have any nearby. They have fun, show each other tricks, and barely even notice the setting sun. Eventually, Spider’s classmate has to get home for dinner, but Spider stays a little longer. There are streetlights and he’s got the whole place to himself. Eventually, after a nasty fall ending in a possibly broken finger, he skates home. His phone died hours before that, but he hadn’t even noticed.

By the time he walks in the door, they’re about to call the police and his social worker and Tsireya looks like she’s about to cry. He’s bombarded with frantic worry, Ronal looking over his swelling hand with a deep frown, and he just doesn’t understand what’s wrong.

“I told Tsierya and Aounung I’d find my own way home.” He said in confusion, letting his foster mother usher him into a seat next to the kitchen table while Aounung gets the first aid kit. It was really aching down, pulsing with his heartbeat.

“Spider, it’s nearly eleven o’clock.” Tonowari rumbled. “We had no idea where you were.”

“I was just at the skatepark. I wasn’t doing anything bad.”

Tsireya sighed. “We thought you were hurt— you are hurt.”

“I just fell bad. It’s fine.”

It takes Aounung screaming at him that they were worried for him to start to understand. After that, he had to adjust to people . . . caring. Noticing him. He’s being noticed. It’s an alien thing.

Aounung is definitely a big brother to Spider, even if there's barely an age gap between them. They're literally in the same grade, but Aounung makes it clear to everyone that Spider is the younger one.

Someone makes fun of Spider? Aounung is about to start a fight in the middle of passing period. How dare someone mess with his little brother? Aounung, captain of the swim team, (nearly) straight-A student, is about to risk suspension to deck a freshman. Everyone thought he was overprotective of Tsierya? She understands her worth and knows how to kick ass. Spider? He's just a little guy with self-esteem issues. He does his kick-flips and needs help with his homework. He's oblivious to half the insults sent his way, so Aounung needs to be doubly aware of all of it.

This is all I have for the modern AU rn, but next up is post-battle!

#spider avatar #miles spider socorro #atwow spider #avatar way of water #spider #avatar fanfiction #avatar #atwow fanfiction #atwow

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thedwarventradesman · 2 months

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Hollow — Tech x GN!Reader Batcher

Description: Tech x GN!Reader Batcher, established relationship; POV is 1st person so there's no use of gendered pronouns (: Warnings: Angst, major character death, grief, very vague allusion to suicidal thoughts and self-destructive tendencies Word Count: 916

A/N: This is the first time I've really written any fandom content since high school. Or at least, with the intention of letting others read it. Tried to balance the mix of recounting the past while also shifting to how reader/oc is in the present which can be tricky so I hope it reads well.

Image Credit: @ilcuoreardendo-fic

Everything happened so fast.

It was like any other mission gone bad — shots from grounded enemies, shots from the sky, and having to problem-solve on the fly amidst the chaos. Then… it was very different.

There was a violent shake as the rail cars were hit and then I was looking down at my husband hanging far below the car. Momentarily, all sound became an indistinguishable noise, garbled voices of distress mixed with ringing and roaring in my ears, as you struggled to climb up to the car.

As I moved to help you, the car creaked and, snapping back to reality, I heard you shout up, “Whoa! Don't! Any shift in weight could send both of these cars over. You must sever the connection hinge. Now!” Wrecker and I immediately exclaimed our rejection of that idea. I could feel my panic rising, my desperation increasing. There must be something. There HAS to be something. Anything to fix this mess and save you.

Your next words, spoken so calmly and matter-of-fact, slammed into me. “There is no time, cyare. Plan 99.” “Don’t. You. Dare, Tech.” My voice cracked on your name. Gently, desperately, I repeated my words, punctuating them with “please”. Your eyes locked with mine — soft, sad, and full of love. “I love you, cyar’ika, but when have we ever followed orders?”

When you shot the connection and began to fall, a deafening scream ripped out of me. “NO!” My body automatically lunged for the side with my hand outstretched before Wrecker grabbed me and held me firmly. Thrashing to escape his grasp as the car began to move, I screamed, “TECH! No! No no no! Go back!”

As the car got further and further away, the shock of the situation overtook me — numb, unseeing, unmoving with that same mix of indistinguishable sounds in my ears. My body went into a survival autopilot – moving as prompted but I wasn’t there – and the team had to help drag me back to the Marauder through the attacks.

Once aboard the Marauder, standing in the middle of our quarters, my knees gave out as I crumbled. Ripping off my helmet and goggles, my agonized sobs finally broke free and echoed through the ship. So full of grief, my body shaking, I leaned forward on my hands for support, fingers digging into the metal floor. One hand reached up, taking my chained wedding ring from underneath my undershirt and I clutched it so hard a mark was left in my hand.

At some point, I had stopped crying and left my body. I didn’t even know the ship stopped. Feeling a gentle hand on my shoulder, the only acknowledgment of awareness I could give was a hoarse, emotionless mumble, “You should have let me go with him.”

From there, I don’t truly remember much of anything. There’s a blur of being dragged to my feet and out of the ship, and of having wet hair and clean clothes while AZ checked me over with no memory of cleaning up or changing. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t even truly remember Omega being taken. All I truly remember from the past month and a half is waves of soul-crushing pain surrounded by numbness as I attempted to lose myself in my work. I keep crying and feeling flashes of disbelief and anger. I’ve lost my appetite… and my desire for self-preservation. All this while moving on autopilot to complete my tasks and finish the mission. Find and save Omega. That is all that matters right now.

Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo are concerned for me, often pushing food on me and otherwise fussing. Up until now, there were eyes on me almost all the time, it felt like, and I hated it, but I understood why they hovered. Echo left a couple of weeks after the events to rejoin Rex, but I still hear him comm Hunter every so often to check in on me and find out how the search for Omega is going.

The days are often easier than the nights since I’ve taken on most of Tech’s tasks alongside my own. Hunter and Wrecker have tried to take some of them, wishing to lighten my load, but I adamantly refuse. I need them. I need the memory of helping with and hearing about them from him by doing them. They’ve let the situation be, but still intervene to make me sleep.

That’s when it gets unbearable.

The emptiness beside me screams, his scent got fainter with each passing day until it disappeared, remembering the quiet moments we shared in this space, and hearing his final words on a loop in the silence. Once the exhaustion finally takes me… I often watch Tech fall and wake with tears streaming down my face or stinging eyes and a heavy heart. Some nights, I think Hunter has been slipping me medicine in my food ‘cause those are the only nights I get any decent sleep.

Despite all this, I have, believe it or not, been getting better. Slowly, I began to reengage with the boys and be open with them. They stopped having to watch me as close or force me to take care of myself. Now, it’s reminders and intervention as necessary along with occasional check-ins when I seem particularly off one day. I’m still far from okay and I won’t ever be the same but, thanks to our brothers, I become a little less hollow each day.

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hawkins-losers · 2 years

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Lonely, aching hearts (part 1) | Eddie Munson x Hargrove!Reader

Summary: The aftermath of losing a twin brother, a temporary nightmare fix and a neighbor with a heart of gold

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mention of child abuse, mention of death, PTSD, drug use

A/N: I will be releasing this fic as a multi-part. I put my heart and personal thoughts in this fic and I don’t want to rush it/ruin it.

When a twin dies, it’s the first time the remaining twin is ever alone.

The twin bond begins at conception. At 16 weeks, the fetus has an awareness of self in space. The single fetus explores his or her own body and surroundings. Twins explore each other. At four-and-a-half months, the senses begin to develop and there is room to interact. The single fetus develops independence, twins develop interdependence. At six months, space tightens in utero. After birth, the relationship between twins continues to grow. There are shared milestones and shared identities.

Back when your mother was still around, you and Billy used to be close. You shared hobbies, ate together at school and still slept in the same room although it wasn’t age appropriate anymore.

While your mother was the most loving person, your father was not. He was violent; physically and emotionally abusive to Billy, deeming him a ‘pussy’ due to his love for surfing and not baseball, and his sensitivity. When caught in the act, your mother would take Billy’s defense, try to get her husband to stop, but he sometimes would take it out on her too.

You got a taste of his violence too, just not as often.

When you were ten, your mother left, abandoning her kids and abusive husband, and all of the abuse came crashing down on you and Billy. Neil blamed the both of you for her departure, causing him to become more violent and aggressive.

Now that your mother was gone, now that there was no one to protect you from your father's abuse, Billy had to be brave and take the position. He refused to let Neil put a hand on you again. He’d rather take double the hits than you getting hurt.

A few weeks later, the divorce papers came in the mail. When Billy came back from a friend’s house, he found you in your room, curled in your bed, crying. It wasn’t a sad cry like when you missed your mother, it was a pained cry. You were hurt. Billy sat on your bed and gently moved your face from your pillow, seeing the fresh bruise on your cheek. His jaw - and small fist - clenched in anger.

Never again, he swore. Never again he will lay a hand on you.

Billy kept his promise. He fought back and took the abuse until the day he died.

There's some things you just can't get out of your head.

Every time you closed your eyes, you could see the scene vividly. It was haunting you.

The Mindflayer was in the middle of the food court at the new mall, staring threateningly at you as you laid on the floor with blood dripping from a cut on your forehead, far too exhausted to move. He wanted you. Billy was standing before you, like a mother protecting her children.

The Mindflayer opened its mouth and screamed, its long tongue extending and going straight for you. You closed your eyes, thinking it was the end for you, but the Mindflayer never got to you.

Confused, you opened your eyes and horror washed over your face, seeing Billy hands in the Mindflayer’s mouth, grunting and trying to push the creature away, trying to fight him off. Horror turned into pure fear, pain, and disbelief on your face after realizing what Billy was doing. He sacrificed himself for you, saved you for the last time.

Some of the Mindflayer’s tentacles came and latched onto Billy’s sides, trapping him. The creature released Billy’s arms, its tongue sliding back into its mouth. It stared down at him, mouth open as Billy screamed, then went for it, its tongue piercing through Billy’s chest and killing him on the spot.

With an ear-deafening and distressed scream of his name, you used the last of your strength to crawl over to his body, his white wife-beater soaked with his blood as more pooled out of him. You cradled his face as you cried over his lifeless body, feeling like you had been ripped in half.

You woke up in sweats and severely out of breath. Another nightmare.

You pulled your knees to your chest in a fetal position, and let the tears flow and soak your pillow.

Why did you sacrifice yourself?

You reached into your sleep shirt and pulled out the Virgin Mary pendant necklace he always wore, which was now yours, and clutched the pendant in your hand. Neil wanted to have it, he said it was rightfully his, but you refused to let him have the necklace. After everything he made Billy endure, after he drove him to become the angry man he was, he didn't deserve to keep anything that belonged to him.

The late night spring air hit your face as you stepped out of the trailer, unable to stand being between these walls.

Max was in her room listening to music on her walkman, a hand-me-down from Billy, and Susan was sleeping on the couch after passing out from drinking. After Billy’s death and her divorce with Neil, she became depressed and began drinking heavily. Billy may not have been her son, but his death still affected her.

You stepped down the stairs and sat at the old picnic table on the side of the trailer. Some parts of the wood were crumbling from being soaked by the rain for many years, but it still held up.

Since moving to Forest Hills’s trailer park, it became your spot to escape. You’d sit here almost every night, needing some air to escape the emotionally heavy atmosphere of the trailer, your home.

While you loved living with Max and Susan, it was sometimes hard to not fall down the rabbit hole and break into tears. You get that everyone grieves differently, but watching them be so depressed and isolated was emotionally draining and extremely difficult.

Sometimes you’d sit there and watch the starless sky above you, wondering why the Hawkins sky was so bare. Others, like tonight, you’d cry.

You heard the sound of feet on the gravel, telling you someone was approaching.

Through your blurry eyes, you saw black boots and dipped jeans stopping in front of you, which you recognized as your neighbor’s, Eddie.

You had only seen him a couple of times since moving here, getting in and out his van or smoking cigarettes on his steps. He used to be in your History class last year - that’s how you knew his name.

‘’Are you alright?’’

You looked up at him with tears in your tired eyes, but said nothing.

‘’You moved here recently, am I right?’’

You nodded, not feeling very talkative tonight.

sitting beside you on the table. ‘’Whatever asshole made you cry is not worth your heart.’’

A small chuckle left your lips. ‘’I’m not crying over my boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend.’’

‘’I know. Not that I’m spying on you or anything, I just-’’ Eddie shook his head, it was a losing battle. ‘’I’ll stop talking.’’ You thought he would leave, but he reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint. ‘’Do you want to some?’’

You flickered your eyes to the perfectly rolled joint and hesitated. You could almost feel it call your name, knowing it would bring peace to your mind after a few puffs.

Turning to drugs to numb your pain was not the best way to deal with your emotions, but you were so tired of this constant ache in your heavy heart that you’d rather feel nothing at all - even just for a little while.

And, marijuanna was a natural drug. It wasn’t too bad. Right?

Last night’s nightmare wasn’t too bad. You didn’t wake up in sweats or cry yourself back to sleep. It felt…uncommonly relieving. You felt a little refreshed too, having gotten five hours of sleep more than usual. It’s impossible to get much rest when you spend your nights crying until you can’t quite breathe right.

Although it brought you some peace, you didn’t want to make it a habit.

You made it a habit.

You didn’t want to get to that, but you liked how it relaxed your mind and lulled you to sleep until morning. The relief and the peace of mind it brought you was addicting. It came to a point where you couldn’t go to bed without getting a few puffs.

Every night, you’d go out at 9pm and wait for Eddie.

You’d sit together on the old picnic table and smoke for a bit. He never asked you deep questions or tried to make you talk about your feelings, which made him a better company than anyone you knew. You couldn’t stand having people giving you sorry looks or asking how you were.

Wearing a pair of joggers and a thick hoodie, you waited for Eddie to come home. It was getting close to October now, so the darkness came earlier and the weather was getting chillier past 6pm, which was why you had added a layer to your body.

Max had started school again a few weeks ago and she had homework pretty much every night so it was less likely for her to peek out the window and catch you doing drugs with your neighbor. As for Susan, she was busy working most of the time - or passed out drunk on the couch.

Your secret was safe.

It was close to 10pm when you saw Eddie’s van pulling in front of his trailer. He closed the door and jogged over to you.

‘’Sorry it's so late. Have you been waiting out here for long?’’ he asked, running a hand through his hair to fix them.

‘’Eh, no,’’ you lied. ‘’I was working late at the diner.’’

You did work at the diner today, but your shift ended at 7pm.

Eddie nodded, then sat across from you. ‘’Good. Because I’d feel horrible for making you wait two hours outside. I was caught up with Hellfire Club stuff. We got a big campaign coming up and…you probably don’t give a shit about any of this.’’

You furrowed your eyebrows. ‘’What’s Hellfire Club?’’

The tall boy hesitated, about to expose the geek side in him. ‘’Do you know the game Dungeon & Dragons?’’

‘’I’ve heard of it. It’s a roleplay game, right?’’

Eddie chuckled. ‘’If you want.’’ Although it wasn’t just that, you weren’t wrong. He let it slide. ‘’I’m gonna sound like the biggest geek cliché, but I created this club a few years ago when I had no one else to play with. Hawkins High is big enough, it was impossible there wasn’t another kid that played the game. So, I wrote an invitation with a marker, calling out all D&D players, inside a bathroom stall. Not any stall, I made sure it was the one I knew some kids used to eat lunch in, and invited them to a meeting in some classroom after school. I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, but two guys came.’’

A smile curled on your lips at Eddie’s story.

‘’We’ve got six members now.’’

‘’Wow.’’

‘’And, we got these shirts too.’’ He opened the front of his leather jacket to show you the baseball tee he had on. ‘’We didn’t have cool shirts with our logo or a designated room at school to play in back then.’’

‘’You made this shirt?’’

‘’The logo? Yes.’’

‘’That’s sick.’’ Eddie smiled. ‘’Can I get one?’’

‘’You have to enter the club to get one, sweetheart.’’

‘’But I don’t know how to play…’’

‘’I can teach you. If you’d like.’’

For the next hour, you and Eddie smoked weed while he told you all about D&D. It sounded fun, but also very complicated - although Eddie swore the rules were simple enough to follow as a beginner. There was just a very clear structure to work within.

‘’You weren’t wrong about it being a roleplay game, but the core of D&D is storytelling. You and the other party players tell a story together, guiding your heroes through quests for treasure, battles with deadly foes, daring rescues, courtly intrigue, and much more.’’

‘’What’s your character name?’’

A smirk curled on Eddie’s lips. ‘’I’m the Dungeon Master.’’

‘’Ooh. Sounds big and important.’’

He hummed in agreement. ‘’Without me, there is no game.’’

Taglist: @broadway-or-noway @violetsleftfist @thelaststraw3 @cursedandromedablack @Slashersimpfor @savagejane1 @wh0reforbucknasty @eddiemunson-slut @slvdsjjk @hehehehannahthings @dreamdancers-world @grace-loux @iamharrystyleslover @matildavol6 @Original_babababoo @eddiemunsonbby @notbeforelong @lexi-2004 @violetrainbow412-blog @tatespillows @alwayslexii @lilygreennn @milkiane @imahomeslice @bunnygrl16 @cwritesforfun

Eddie Munson taglist: @nighttwingg @yourfavoriteakutagawakinnie @heizenka @eddiemvunsongf @Eddie_munsons_girlfriend @magicalchocolatecheesecake @eddiemunsonistheloveofmylife @avril-reblog-cave @Fandomfaeryreads @harrys-tittie @straycatarang @fourlokiss @eddiemattress @ghoulishlygrey @paola-carter

Eddie Munson x Hargrove!Reader taglist: @depressedsleepysloth @chaoticgurl@heizenka @zoobergal @slvdsjjk @bitterplacebrokendreamsmaegan @zeldaknight @dragon-ash13

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things s4 #eddie stranger things

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here-is-kia · 3 months

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I haven’t been writing for a while, I feel terrible about it. Since now I have always used my laptop and used Grammarly before uploading here. Right now it is 5:43 am, in the middle of Ramadan, school is closed because of it. I need to study, I know, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It takes too much of my time, and my efforts fucking always goes unnoticed. Expected, I know. My laptop is fucking broken and useless now, I can barely use it. Day by day I am losing my sanity because of it. I have no will whatsoever. I begged to die yesterday, crying and shivering. Pathetic. Couldn’t even stop. I wish my parents would see me as a human instead of a puppet who should just focus on their studies. They want the good for me, but what’s the point if every single word they make me want to crawl out of my skin? Staying with them for over three minutes is painful. I want to be myself. To be free. I can understand and see my mother’s thoughts, I can feel them. Like a hand is holding a vein between my heart and neck. It’s not fair. How my father treats my younger sister, how my mother is different to her. Few days ago, well actually two days ago- Me and my sister cried in each other’s arms complaining about life. She is fucking 9. Nine. She says life is too hard, how she thought pain is fictional. She saw a childhood video of mine, and it shocked her how different i had become. Trauma can change you, some people have it harder, you may not remember and intellectualise your past. My mother has a lot of opinions, and I know the existence of it. Just because she ‘loves’ me doesn’t mean I feel loved by her, she oversees my screams, and tears. I am genuinely disgusted by her. If I were a mother, I vow I wouldn’t be like her. She thinks she is the best in the whole world, she ‘thinks’ she lets us do whatever we want. She simply doesn’t ‘parent’ us. She never will. And my father is… ugh. Saying anything about him brings tears to my eyes, it fact there are tears in my eyes right now. He cares, but I did wish if he just left me fucking Alone. I want my own life. I fucking hate my parents. I am being ungrateful and don’t fucking care anymore. They simply don’t fucking understand how fucking hard it is to get these grades. How can ALL of your three kids be suicidal? One is 9, another is fucking 7 and tried to kill hi self with a knife. I don’t even know if they are blind or are just ignoring everything. Mother likes to hide from father. I hate her. I hate it when I tell her my grades and she doesn’t tell father, father thought I hide my grades from him. I didn’t correct him. It hurts. I have my ambitions and all, please just give me a fucking break. From all your fucking expectations and opinions. I hate my mother. I tell her I love her every now and then, I am simply lying. I joke around and shit, but I can’t stand it anymore. I am a Muslim, a mighty believer too. I can’t run away when I get older, no matter how much I want to. Maybe I can, hopefully. Though death seems more easy, still begging your God to take away your life but still let you go to heaven is like begging your teacher to let you leave the exam hall and still let you pass. When will I be free? When? Never? I want freedom, I hate my mother’s thoughts and opinions, I can fucking feel them. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. She thinks she is the best mother there is, yet all she does she buy endlessly for her little dolls and argue how I have tons of clothes. She hates me, I am too ugly for her. I know. I hope she— no I don’t even want her to know about the pain she had caused us. She is too stubborn and would cry like a child. It’s sadly really, to be trapped your whole life. I can never be alone, I hate them. I hate taking the blame always. It’s not like my father is the capable man he thinks he is. I want to die.

Actually you know what? I don’t want to be away from a family, I want to spend time with a family, I want to joke around with a family(I mean I am already a laughing subject no matter how amazing my grades and weight are.) I just can’t stand this one. I am far too disgusted by them. Far, far too disgusted. In Ramadan, your Naf is still with you, maybe this is who I actually am. A pathetic emotional child. A worthless being. What benefit would my parents get from my successful future, that I do not know. I think they want me to succeed so they can feel like they accomplished something. I can never be my own person. I hate them. Even if parents have their own problems, their children still shouldn’t all be fucking in love with death.

Here, death is not a fear but a privilege. The children envies people who experience death. They want to physically(my sister said to me that day) harm themselves for attention. Please, you are fucking busy but you are a parent. They aren’t parenting, they are slacking off, giving us the basic human needs then taking a break. I was never enough, will never be. I am worthless, and if my fucking mother says ‘Oh Sweetie no! Who told you that!?’ In her honeyed voice, I will kill her. I probably won’t— but it will still be my breaking point js—

Freedom, heaven, today I saw a comment on a reel on Instagram, saying the prophet said life is a prison to the believers and paradise to the non-believers. It is kind of like a sign, of course life is not a paradise to everyone. I am doubting the authenticity of the translation. The last sentence doesn’t sound correct, it certainly is not from the Quran. It says ‘prison’ not hell, so I don’t think the is actually ‘paradise’. I did like how it said ‘prison’ though, a sign hopefully. It just gives you that shed of hope every delusional teenager with trauma likes to cling into.

-6:39 including time taken for tags :P

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spicyliumang · 1 year

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Made a cleaner ref sheet for Enya my Yakuza Oc! I like this one much better than the other one :')💙

Enya Sasaki

She/Her

Birthday: August 7 1997

Nicknames: Enya-chan, Enny-chan, Nya-chan (<----Only Zhao can call her that)

Ethnicity- African American-Japanese (raised in Japan so mainly knows Japanese at first, but took classes to speak English fluidly)

Leo

Caretaker - Okino Sasaki (Adoptive father)

Hostess at the Rose Blossom Cabaret

Favorite animal - Pandas

Favorite drink - Slushy Taro bubble tea

Fighting style- Taekwondo

Love interest- Tiayou Zhao

All of her lore is under the cut:') (it's v long I was feeling big-brained)

Enya’s parents originally left the U.S. and moved to Kamorocho for her bio father's new job and also ran a goods and services shop and would launder money for the Omi Alliance in exchange for money because the shop her parents owned was not doing well financially and ran the risk of losing the business and home. even when Enya’s biological dad had a second job and it wasn't enough.

Her dad would work long hours often after Enya was born and didn't make much time for Enya's mother and would have countless arguments because of it leaving her mother and her alone most days. Enya was no more than 6 months old when this unfolded.

Every few months, someone is sent to collect the money from their business to be laundered. The person who would pick it up would be Tendo.

Enya’s mom ended up meeting Tendo one day when he came to collect the money they owed and Enya’s mom and Tendo had an affair (which Tendo just went along with it to make more money while Enya’s mom actually fell for him).

Tendo eventually let Enya’s mom know she didn’t mean anything to him and that he was just using her, in the end. She begged him to stay but he refused. Enya’s bio dad finds out and tried to fight Tendo, but with him being a skilled boxer, but he killed her dad from blunt force trauma.

Enya’s mother was mortified. Her mother decided wouldn’t launder any more money for the Omi and after a big fight Enya’s mom threatened to tell the authorities so Tendo made arrangements to have her killed. In that event, Enya was left alone in her crib wailing.

Eventually, the police arrived after complaints of a smell and crying in the small apartment and Enya was found and taken to an orphanage in Kamorocho. There was no information found on either of them in regard to their name as the Omi made sure the make them "disappear" Enya was spared simply because she was harmless and seemingly would "Never remember this" In the words of Tendo

Her foster dad, Okino Sasaki, a native of Ijincho finds her at the Sunflower Orphanage during a business trip while working at a corporate office in Ijincho. He always wanted kids but unfortunately, he is sterile. So in light of his successful business, he wanted to have the joy of changing a child's life giving them a healthy, happy childhood. That's where he finds 6-year-old Enya. To this day, she calls him "Oki-san" rather than father. Overall while living with Okino, overall she was happy, he made time to take her to parks and even took her to the library to look at magazines since she loves fashion so much. He also put her in Taekwondo classes after school when he worked late and even explained to only use self-defense in dire situations. Enya loved every second of it. The only strange thing was her reoccurring nightmare of screaming, and a man's face she's never seen before. She had these dreams practically once every year. Each time more fragments come out. The first figure would mumble incoherent words and the only word that was clear was the "Omi Alliance" which was one word the figure would say constantly. It wasn't until middle school that she temporarily stopped having them.

Over the years, Okino eventually falls for Kozumi Hideko who he later marries and allows her to move into Okino's 2 bedroom apartment. Kozumi is the bane of Enya's existence. She's overtly controlling, and combative, towards Enya, and eventually by weaseling in Okino's heart she quickly became head of the household. Okino allowed her to take over the home while he worked long hours at the office leading to screaming matches every day. Okino allowed her to do anything she wanted except one specific thing she wanted most of all. The biggest one is that Kozumi wants Okino to sell his business and move to Sotenbori, but Okino was adamant about Enya finishing school and avoid her from constantly uprooting her life as she went through that in several foster homes. Another part of it is because of her skin tone.

This rivalry between Enya and her stepmother led to her acting out a lot, cutting class, not paying attention in school, and eventually sneaking out once she entered high school. Due to her nearly getting expelled due to her retaliating against a bully, her stepmother got fed up and had a discussion with Okino and managed to manipulate him to send her to a boarding school for the rest of her time there.

While she was there, she was absolutely miserable. Some of the kids teased her more than others (apart from her skin tone, and the fact she was technically an orphan) She hated it. She hid in the bathroom most lunch periods until one day she meets Shoji Kazuhiro.

Enya fell for Shoji quickly, and from what it appeared he did too. He was her first for everything. And for a while, it was one big honeymoon stage, up until they both graduated high school. Enya did 2 years in college as a business major. Not exactly because she wanted to, but wanting to make Okino proud. Originally she wanted to be a fashion designer, but as she was told, "It wasn't practical" For those 2 years, she was under a ton of stress. Not only because of the heavy workload but because of her constant fight with Shoji. they've broken up and made up so many times. Sometimes she would go months and he would reel her back in with his charm. She really wanted it to work, but Shoji constantly ditched her to play pachinko and get wasted with his friends. There was even an instance he forget her birthday. Eventually, the stress of her relationship and doing something she didn't love in college caused her to drop out and move back home.

Enya was shooting to work with Okino, but at the time she needed experience (Even nepotism would save her) Not to mention when he's not home Kozumi makes it impossible for her (She couldn't even eat any of the food in the house because it was for "working members of the household" Some days Enya would be saved because Okino asked why she didn't eat one day he came home early and confronted Kozumi. In her normal fashion, she threw a tantrum. eventually, she started doing it covertly when he wasn't there.

Enya finally had enough of the fighting and constant struggle to even be able to feed herself and decided to go job hunting. She tried many places but to no avail, and she was rejected. Until she meets Saeko. Originally Enya came in for a drink and conversed with her, but eventually turned into her bawling her eyes out over how tough things have been, Saeko comforted her and commented on how beautiful she is and asked if she was willing to work at a cabaret. While her club was full, Saeko pulled some strings and got her a position at the Rose Blossom Cabaret.

Enya realized how quickly she had to shape up. Originally Enya is rather timid and anxious. Connecting with others wasn't her strong suit. but after getting to know some of the girls, they encouraged her that in order for her to get more tips, she needed to be more extroverted. So after a few rehearsals, she made more than enough to provide for herself, eventually getting her an apartment. And coincidently, Shoji comes back apologetically and made lots of empty promises "I wanna marry you!" "You're the love of my life!" "I can't live without you!" All that jazz was a load of crap. Unfortunately, Enya was still a tad bit naive, no, not even, just love-bombed to the point anything Shoji did or didn't do would either make or break her day. So he had a death grip on her.

It seemed like a great fairy tale at the moment for Enya because her thoughts were "Everything is going perfectly!" Until Shoji was back to his old ways. He hated the fact that she worked at a cabaret and guys would look at her. He never missed an opportunity to slut shame her in hopes she loses her confidence completely and quits. But she refused. One particular day she got into a heated argument with Shoji at her apartment to the point he punched a hole in her wall. She kicked him out and stopped seeing him for months. The final time they got back together, Shoji was allegedly "homeless" and his roommate kicked him out so we came to her house crying and begging in the pouring rain for her to "let him stay" And of course, they get back together. It was completely short-lived however while on her lunch break, she went to Gindaco Highball Tavern where she found Shoji on a date with a girl while they were still together. Enya made a big scene and threw a drink in his face. She cried for months. Until eventually she tried "casual dating" until she realized it was a terrible idea since no one took her seriously. Not to mention, being attacked and robbed after work, she quickly became paranoid. These events left her severely traumatized and with abandonment issues. After that point, she vowed to never date again.

Fast forward 5 years later,

Enya was working a normal shift at the Rose Blossom when she gets a surprise visit from Saeko, who she hasn't seen in years. This time, however, she wasn't alone. She was accompanied by Ichiban, Nanba, Adachi, Joon-gi Han, Eri, and no surprise, Zhao! With time after she was introduced to everyone she was quickly established as she gave Saeko the short of what has happened since a few years ago they met. She laughed and joked and even teared up with them all. Soon enough before their trip to Sotenbori, the Omi was mentioned. She explained to them that she has had a reoccurring dream where the word "Omi Alliance" was said several times and she saw a figure who she described in detail that immediately described Tendo. Han asked her a few questions about her childhood and recalled if she has adopted maybe there was a link to her bio parents. Soon it all started to make sense. She assumed that maybe Tendo may have something to do with her past and her bio parents. And soon asked if she could tag along on Ichiban's journey.

During that time she bonded with everyone. Enya and Saeko got really close and were inseparable. She enjoyed giggling at Saeko oogling at Han and even supported and hinted that she should go for it. She learned that Nanba was a former doctor and how met Ichiban. Adachi always made jokes and the occasional pick-up line she'd laugh at and Saeko would remark how bad it was. Enya chatted with Han about his past and how things are at the Geomijul and remarked on how reserved he is. She'd do the occasional "Han-chan" Saeko does just for giggles. Enya and Ichiban bonded instantly. She loved his high energy and how optimistic he was, and his also being an orphan made him the most relatable. She listened as he shared stories about his time growing up at Shangri-La. Zhao was the biggest mystery for her. At most, he shared he was once the leader of the Liumang (that she heard about briefly, only word-of-mouth) and how a coup was formed against him so now he's no longer the leader and tags along with Ichiban and company. She was intimidated at best. There have been times he has teased her and played pranks on her. Sometimes she would get fussy about it, but his charm always prevented it from escalating. And that was one of those things she was apprehensive about. Shoji had that same charm. She didn't know what Zhao was capable of, but she did stay distant at first. He did manage to get a giggle and some banter out of her every now and again.

It wasn't until after the fight with Ishioda and the bomb was planted, Zhao made an effort to help carry Enya out after springing her ankle during the fight. He even carried her up until they were able to take a train to Kamorocho. While they were friends of course and any friend would do it, Zhao showed a great deal of concern. (Especially with him being such an aloof nonchalant guy) That's when the gears started turning in her head. The inevitable "Uh oh." when she knows she's about to get a crush. Her immediate reaction? Run. She avoided Zhao as much as she could and by that, it's usually avoiding being alone with him. But on the inside, she knew it was getting worse. She found herself looking at him consciously, any time he interacted with her she was a flustered mess. Zhao had his suspicions but never pointing out, since teasing her relentlessly was far more entertaining

Enya later finds out the truth about her parents when Ichiban and company finally made it to the Millenium Tower to fight Tendo. Once they arrived in the room, Enya confronted him, saying that she feels in some way she may be connected to her parents and that they could talk it out, and that deep down he may be a good guy at heart. The words he spoke were "Huh, you have her eyes." Enya was confused until he happily boasted about him slaughtering her parents. It was an earth-shattering moment. She was filled with rage and wanted nothing more than to kill him. While they did knock him out, they had to hold Enya back as she grabbed a glass shard and planned to stab him while knocked out. She broke down completely at that moment.

Wrapping up to Aoki, and Arakawa's funeral, she stood outside with everyone when Nanba and Saeko mentioned that Ichiban isn't leaving. While the cheers went on, One of the coworkers that knew Okino frantically found her to announce that he was sick. He had a heart attack and was in critical condition. Everyone sat in the hospital with Enya as she spent her last moments there. Kozumi stood in the corner scowling while Enya cried. She talked about how she should have visited more and should have called more often. everyone stood to comfort her as she stood around him. She could have sworn she felt him squeeze her hand. And then his heart rate increased rapidly until he flatlined. Enya was broken

After the funeral, Enya stayed cooped up in her apartment. She'd have backlogs of messages from the gang, even Han suggested stopping by and "monitoring" her, but they voted against it since it would be an invasion of privacy. Ichiban did his best to pitch an idea of how they could get her out of the house when Zhao volunteered to propose a plan to get her out for some fresh air. He didn't disclose it, but the words of Ichiban said "We're counting on you, Zhao."

Zhao made some Yaki soba knowing it's her fav food and visited her apartment. At first, she shooed him away and said she didn't want company right now. But of course, Zhao persisted 🤣 he pestered her until she nearly bolted to the door to tell him off when she opened the door to him with an apologetic face and some yaki soba. She would have naturally turned him down anyway, but with her not eating anything for 3 days with no groceries, she was in no position to say no. Zhao kept the conversation light and avoided mentioning Okino. He didn't get a giggle out of her but he did ask if she'd be willing to do her a favor. She was about to say no, but knowing he went out of his way to get her some food she desperately needed even if she would never admit it, she relented. Only to find out this "errand" was a trip to Club SEGA. She kept asking what was the favor, and he just asked her to watch him play. It wasn't until he (purposely) kept getting stuck on a level of Space Harrier, she asked if she can try. Of course, it was easy, but he figured she would get impatient enough that she'd want to beat it. After that, she perked up more and they played more games together. There were incidences where he would brush his hand across hers, and she would jolt a little but tried to focus on the game. Enya laughed a lot more and even beat Zhao at a game (with pure luck of course) It wasn't until Enya found a huge Panda in the UFO catcher, she mentioned it's been there for years and no one has been able to grab it. She tried a few times until she ran out of money. Zhao offered to try, but just like her, was unsuccessful. Enya moped a bit, but Zhao mentioned maybe it was time to go for now since he was thirsty. So they went to get Boba and she ordered her favorite: Taro Tea. Zhao opened up a bit more about his upbringing and a bit more in detail about why he's no longer the leader. He did keep it light and made some jokes, and when he felt he was starting to shift the mood talking about cooking, working at You Tian, and some of the things he knew about the arcade games.

Once they finished up, he paid for the food with Yen he had in his pocket, but noticed his wallet was missing. Enya scolded how he should be careful, but he mentioned he may have left it at Club SEGA at asked her to wait outside. 30 minutes passed and she was just about to walk in to help when he came out with the huge panda in his hand. Enya was in awe and literally asked how did he manage. He explained he paid off the worker to hold his wallet while she was in the bathroom so he had a reason to come back and asked the worker to put an "Out of Order" sign on the UFO catcher so no one takes it. He spent 30 minutes because he kept getting everything but the panda, until it was the last thing in the machine and snagged it easily. He gave back all of the plushies and kept the panda instead. Enya practically teared up and asked why did he go through that for her when he mentioned everyone was pretty worried, that he hated to see her frown, and that she was great company since "everyone was too busy to hang out" Zhao walked her back to her apartment and she thanked him. Then kinda rambled blushing on about how she's grateful and he means a lot to her, staggering and trying not to lead on she likes him a lot (though she's failing miserably because Zhao can read her like a book) and just said "You sure do talk a lot." which threw her off and he leaned in to give her a kiss. And ended with "Soo... see you tomorrow?" Enya just nodded while blushing still bewildered by what just happened. And from there, Enya and Zhao started dating C:

Option substory things:

-Enya and Ichigang try to find Okino's will before Kozumi so she doesn't sell his business and his home so she can use her money to live with her rich boyfriend she was seeing the entire time Okino was feeling sick. They later find the will and find out Okino's death was deliberate for insurance fraud and she was sent to jail for life. Enya doesn't know what to do with the business so she asked Okino's assistant to help her with keeping things running while not actively working there since her passions now are working at the Rose Blossom Cabaret and studying fashion design (She even designed a dress for one of the hostesses :D)

Shoji returns and finds Enya while she's working constantly badgering her to get back together after him being divorced and not having custody of his kids. But now she's fully healed and wants nothing to do with him. He spots a hickey on her neck and get's all combative accusing her that she replaced him and promised she'd never leave him. The guilt trip doesn't work and that was his final passive attempt. Little does she know he is affiliated with some rinky-dink street gang. Usually, she's able to fight off anyone, but there was a huge group Shoji had with him that overpowered and kidnapped her. (At this point Shoji is very much in the "If I can't have you, no one can) and help her hostage. Ofc Han noticed that everyone including Zhao couldn't get in touch with her, so naturally they found her in a warehouse tied down. Zhao did not take that well :D Shoji was beaten so bad to the point his death would have been him being spared. Han was close to making arrangements when Ichiban stopped him. And instead they called the cops and he was lock up

There it is... Enya lore :D *passes out from writing*

#this was A LOT #but I love Enya so I'll do it for her :')#mimidoots #yakuza 7 #yakuza 7 oc #yakuza oc #rgg7 #rgg oc #Enya posting #rgg #Enya Sasaki #Yakuza oc

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lilveeblog · 9 months

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behaviour problems

“Excuse me, young lady,” Emily sighed, sending daggers in JJ’s direction. “Excuse me, young lady,” JJ mocked in return, shaking her head. “Jennifer!” Emily scolded. If there was one thing in the world she hated, it was being mocked. “Yes, Emily?” JJ smirked, looking towards the older woman. They were in the round table room, trying to brainstorm answers for a death row case they’d been asked to review. However, JJ was clearly not in the mood for it. “You’re on your last warning, little girl,” Emily warned, pointing a finger at JJ. JJ rolled her eyes before spinning around in her chair. “Yeah yeah, pretty sure I was on my last warning hours ago,” she mumbled, pulling her phone from her pocket.

At that, Tara stood up, walked around the table and snatched the phone from JJ’s hand. JJ gasped and reached for it. “Sit down and show some respect,” Tara said. “I am! That’s my phone you can’t take it!” JJ cried out, jumping up and down to try and reach the outstretched phone. “You can have it back when you stop being a brat,” Tara said matter-of-factly. She turned and walked from the room and JJ went to charge after her but Derek stood between the blonde and the door. “Morgan move!” JJ screeched, squeezing her eyes shut and making her voice as loud as it could. “No can do pretty girl, sit down,” he said, shaking his head. JJ huffed, stomped her foot, and glared at the entire team before throwing herself on the ground like a toddler.

“Jay,” Emily sighed, watching her girl begin to cry. JJ had been stressed out all morning and Emily seriously debated bringing her to work but when a difficult case was called in, she didn’t really have a choice. JJ continued her fit on the floor, flying about her legs and her arms but the team grew to ignore it. Spencer continued his facts about an old case related to their new one and Garcia brought up new pictures on the screen. However, Emily couldn’t help but feel like something was seriously wrong with her baby.

They had five hours on the plane and JJ had finally settled a little. Emily tried to get her to stay with Garcia but JJ refused.

As they climbed onto the plane, JJ stayed by her mama’s side, distressed and feeling tired. There was so much going on through her brain that she just wanted her mama to take it all away. Her nightmares had come back recently. It was coming up to almost a year away from Tivon Askari - what he did to her - and the emotions, the feelings, the torture was too much.

“Do you want to colour?” Emily asked, pulling up JJ’s bag but JJ shook her head. She didn’t feel safe being small at the minute. She couldn’t tell anyone but she had been regressed for the majority of time she was with Askari. Her little self was more traumatized than she was and that was terrifying. JJ shook her head and put her head on the window. “Nap?” Emily suggested, showing her her blanket. JJ shrugged and closed her eyes. Emily sighed and stroked the girl's tight fist before turning to brief the team.

The case was pretty slow at first. Emily kept JJ in the precinct, setting up the boards and doing research with Spencer. The blonde was quiet, reserved and very, very sad. The whole team could sense something was wrong but no one dared to ask, not after that morning's tantrum. It was hard enough working on a case, never mind keeping a constant eye on a versatile JJ too.

By the time the entire team had returned to the precinct, JJ was curled up on the sofa fast asleep. The team ordered Taco Bell whilst going over their day's findings.

“So he’s targeting middle-aged fathers from a small town but why?” Morgan asked. “We need to look into the history, there must be something tying them all together,” Tara added. “They went to different high schools. Cunnings was in a different town altogether,” Emily said.

The group thought for a moment until Spencer spoke up. “Garcia, are there any records of scout groups-”

A scream broke him off as JJ sat up from the sofa. Her entire body shook as she threw the blanket off her. Emily shot up from the table and was straight by her girl's side. Tears flooded JJ’s face as she tried to get away from Emily.

“Hey, hey sweetheart.” Emily cooed, grabbing JJ’s trembling hands. “It’s Mama. Mama is here.”

“Mama,” Jj sobbed, suddenly launching herself into Emily’s outstretched arms. Tara guided the pair to the bathrooms for some privacy and the team continued with their investigation.

“Deep breaths, focus on my breathing princess,” Emily whispered, rocking her girl in her arms. JJ was crying, clinging to Emily’s top. It was as if she was back there, getting hurt all over again but Emily was keeping her safe. “Mama’s got you.”

Not long later, after many encouragements, kisses, cuddles and lots of tears, JJ sat up from Emily’s arms. Sighing deeply, she turned to her mama who had bog, concerned, brown eyes. “What happened?” Emily asked softly. She tucked some loose hair behind JJ’s ear and wiped her wet cheeks. “Askari,” JJ spat his name. “Oh love,” Emily sighed. “He- he was hurting me again,” she muttered, closing her eyes tight. “It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me,” Emily reassured and took JJ back into her arms. She ran her fingers through her little one’s hair and rocked her softly. “Is this the tiredness, the behaviour hm?” “I’m sorry mama,” JJ mumbled into Emily’s chest. “It’s okay. I just need you to communicate these things with me.” JJ nodded, agreeing before they decided to head back into the conference room.

Emily sat at the desk, feeding JJ fries, who was sitting on her knee.No one mentioned the nightmare. Tara made her some pink milk, Spencer grabbed her colouring things and Morgan let her play on his phone whilst they finished up. Emily knew her girl would be okay with such a supportive group around them.

#little!jj #criminal minds #criminal minds agere #jennifer jareau #jj #little space #jj criminal minds #cg!emily #emily prentiss #jj x emily

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azaleassence · 1 month

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𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝'𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 ✓

❁ ― ship: shoto t. x reader

❁ ― warnings: death

❁ ― mha masterlist. main masterlist

❁ ― inspired by this tiktok video

There's a Roman god of love, desire and attraction, it's name is Cupid.

For some, they tend to believe that Cupid is the reason why someone falls in love.

Cupid shoots two people with their arrows, making them fall in love, it's like playing a game of matchmaker.

But sometimes, Cupid runs out of arrows so they shoot one person instead of two;

That person just so happens to be you.

Ever since you were introduced to him, you fell in love almost instantly, like Cupid was following you around; waiting for you to find your match.

It surely was just a small crush you developed as a kid, it would most certainly be gone by the time you're older, right?

No. No it wasn't.

When you both finished middle school, you asked his sister on what highschool he'll go to.

When you learned that he was going to one of the most prestigious highschool in Japan, you almost lost your hope in attending, but for him; you were willing to do anything.

Day after day after day, you trained and trained continuously, always coming home tired.

But it all paid off when you received the welcoming letter by UA, you were happy that you got in, but you were so joyous when you learned that you both will be in the same class.

The first half of your first year was chaotic, a student got kidnapped, you encountered almost over 50 villains, and you faced at least 2 almost-death experiences.

During that half of the school year, you tried so deparately hard to become closer to Shoto, but after time, you didn't make much progress.

But your new classmates did.

They became incredibly close to Shoto in a span of 5 months while busted your ass to become close to him for the 10 whole years.

But you continued to persevere, you didn't want to give up so easily.

But time has a funny way of being moody.

You laid on the ground, bloody and wounded. If you were to see yourself-- you wouldn't be able to recognize your own self.

You were crushed in debris, how did you get there?

At the fight with Tomura Shigaraki, everybody gave their all to become support and help to the pro heroes, you did your best as well, but it wasn't enough.

You couldn't scream for help, you couldn't use your quirk, all you could do was lay there, hoping and waiting for someone to find you.

And eventually someone did.

Shoto.

When he found you, you were already struggling to keep your eyes open, the sight in front of him almost terrified him; why?

With the help of your other classmates, you were brought out of the debris and to the open. Shoto was carrying you so delicately, afraid that if there would be any pressure applied to your body; you'd break.

All your other classmates had run off, looking for the nearest medic while Shoto was left with you.

"Hey, keep your eyes open-- don't close them."

You nodded, feeling happy that his face might be the last one you'll see, but at least it was his'.

"You should go, Shoto." Your voice was raspy and it almost hurts whenever you speak, but you didn't mind as long as you talked to him, right?

Shoto looked at you as if you were crazy, he was certain that he won't leave you there alone.

"No, I'll stay here until the medics arrive." He assures you.

Your heart warms as you smiled up at him.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

He stared at you, confused to what was your point.

"Before, you used to push everyone away when they got too close to you; now, you have so many friends." You continued. "So it wouldn't matter if I go now, wouldn't it?"

His eyes almost widened in disbelief, are you actually--

"I don't have enough time, Shoto. No matter how many times the medics try to heal me; it won't be enough." You told him, Shoto felt this stinging pain in his eyes, was he... crying?

Your eyes softened as you saw his eyes watering.

"Don't cry, I don't want to go with you crying as my last memory." You smiled, trying to keep yourself from crying as well. "I'm glad you got to find friends to comfort and be with you during your happiest times, and I'm grateful to be your friend as well."

He wiped his teary eyes with his shoulder to keep holding to you.

"But for me, you weren't just a friend." You statement caught him off-- no, this couldn't be happening now. "You're someone I look up to, someone I admire, and someone I wish I confessed to sooner."

His arms trembled, it was happening, and it was happening now.

"I love you Shoto and I'm thankful that you came into my life, because with you: I experienced the most happiest moments in life--"

"No, no, stop it. Don't say those words, the medics are coming and they'll save you, I know they will!" He shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

You reached up your hand to his cheeks and wiped his tears, smiling as you felt yourself getting teary-eyed as well.

"I love you, Shoto." You say with your last breath as your hand falls to the side of your body, Shoto sucked in a quick breath, his arms were trembling as he brought your body closer to him, giving you the sweetest hug, wishing that he would've done that a long time ago.

When your classmates came back with the medics, they halted their footsteps, seeing Shoto hugging your lifeless body, they knew that they were too late.

"I love you too..." Shoto mumbled so that only the two of you could hear it.

All left to wonder was, why did it took so long for Cupid to find you again and finally shoot their other arrow to your match when your arrow had already broke.

#❁꧖ 𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐘'𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 #todoroki #shototodoroki #mha #myheroacademia #bokunoheroacademia #bnha #shoto #shotoxreader #shototodorokixreader #todorokixreader #shototodorokiangst

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jjtheresidentbaby · 2 years

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Behind Closed Doors | Mike Wheeler

- this work contains mature topics and themes, if you are not suitable to interact with such things please click away

Find it on Ao3 here

Background: classification au, flip!mike, caregiver!Nancy, caregiver!Will, established Mike x Will, established Nancy x Steve x Johnathan, everything canon happened but eddies alive, takes place after season 4 with vecna dead

Summary: Ted and Karen do some things behind closed doors that Mike desperately tries to hide but what happens when it all comes crashing down?

Genre: heavy angst, comfort

Authors note: this is my first stranger things fic so please be nice, I think I kept the characters in character but if I didn’t let me know (also this got long as hell sorry) this is based off the conversation me and @berrymoos have been having for the past like week hsudheudbj. I could make a second chapter to this if anyone wanted

Warnings: major trigger warning for abuse, bruises, crying, swearing, self conscious!Mike, panic attacks, hair pulling

Mike wipes the blood off his nose with the towel Karen holds out to him, she doesn't even look mad at her husband for hitting their kid. No. No she looks disappointed in Mike. As if he didn't know he wasn't supposed to slip, like there wasn't past bruises and scars to get it through his head, he fucking knew that going little at home was a bad idea, he knows!

But tonight was different, Nancy wasn't home and Holly was at a friends which means both Wheeler parents were out of the house for a few hours. School was really rough today so Mike knew he was teetering on the edge of falling into his small headspace but thought he could push it away long enough to get home to Nancy. Then Nancy wasn't here.

Mike has regressed without even noticing it, mistake number a hundred of today it seems. So when Karen and Ted came home two hours later to Mike sat on the couch chewing on his shirt entranced in a cartoon, they were livid and Mike was taken off guard. Taken off guard to the point of not even being able to dodge the first slap Ted threw.

Things spiraled so quickly that when Mikes little headspace did go away, as it does almost instantly when someone hits him, the beating was half over. His torso’s purple and yellow with bruises, lip split, nose aching as blood dribbles down, tears welled in his eyes unwilling to fall and his mothers face. She looks like getting beat up and screamed at by Ted wasn't enough, like she's about to give a lecture about how they are a bloodline of caregivers and being a flip is unacceptable as is, going little is out of the question. But again, Mike knows this all.

He's heard it so many times that he can basically recite the exact words his father or mother would pull out. Not to mention just how much he's been doing to stay big and a caregiver, it's practically all he thinks about, sure he regresses at the Byers house and with Nancy but that's about it. He also is very careful about when he regresses, if there's even a chance of his parents stopping by he won't.

Mike Wheeler would say himself that he's a smart kid - scratch that- a smart teenager. He's not a kid and won't act like one. No freaking way, after what happened tonight? There's no reason or person that can make Mike slip.

It's not like he goes little all the time anyways, nowhere near as close to as much as Max or Dustin do. But Dustin's a full little and Max has a little lean, Mike wouldn't say he didn't lean to his little headspace but he wouldn't admit that he did either. He's neutral? Middle? He's a flip but is pretty good at staying in that blank space of nothingness.

It's probably why he's so stressed out so much though. His resting face of being over it and clenched jaw proves Mike could do a bit better at relaxing. He can't though, if he falls in caregiver space then he'll be around littles and while he loves all his little friends, there's a sick sour twist of jealousy in his gut watching them be so carefree. His little headspace claws it's way to the front of Mikes brain anytime it comes out even when he does feel safe and comfortable but being achy doesn't really help matters.

Five days later and Mikes done a damn good job at covering bruises and staying in that neutral ground. He's had a few almost slips, at Wills house the other day, then when Nancy had come in to check in on Mike that night after he got kicked in the ribs by a steel toe boot, that was a hard time to fight off. Nancy's always the one to get his little side to come out and she could tell something was wrong so she was trying really hard to help, Mike felt extra guilty pushing her out of her room with the excuse of a headache.

He's had a "headache" for almost a week now. Avoiding anyone and everyone for whatever shitty excuse he can race to come up with. The party's noticed, Nancy's noticed, Steve and Johnathan have noticed, hell even that girl Robin has taken notice to how off Mike is. He doesn't care.

Except he has to care tonight as it's game night and he can't exactly skip it. He had promised Max to play uno with her tonight, he made the promise before everything went down but he's not about to break it. He can do this, it's one night at the Byers, with the whole party, and Nancy's two boyfriends, and Steve's best friend Robin and her best friend Eddie. It's so many people. He can't do this.

"Mike? You okay?" Nancy turns to look at him in the backseat of Steve's car, Johnathans in the passenger seat, even already being at the Byers he wanted to come for the ride.

"Yeah I'm good." He stops the ringing in and out of his hands that he was doing to try to reassure Nancy.

"Yeah? You've been a bit off for the past few days." She tips her head to look at his ducked down eyes. Mike clenches his jaw even harder, he is fine. Kind of. Sort of. Not really. He really wants to go little as it'd no doubt help with the stress but he can't.

"I don't know, just an off week I guess." He shrugs trying to get past this conversation.

"If you need anything I'm here and so is Johnny and Stevie." Mike smiles a bit wider, he always found it admiring how Nancy pulls out nicknames for her partners.

"Yeah man Will said he's worried about you." Steve calls over his shoulder which earns a punch to his arm from Johnathan.

"You weren't supposed to tell him idiot! What Steve meant was- we’re all a bit worried." Johnathan turns around in his seat with a short sigh. Mike nods looking at how the boys hair falls into his eyes with blows of air through Johnathans mouth to try to get it out of the way. Mike relates, he loves his long hair but that problem arises every now and again.

"Mike? You see something on my face kid?" He shakes himself out of his slight trance at Johnathans chuckle. Shit. That's definitely not good, zoning out always means his little headspace is coming out and being called kid is making everything worse.

"No sorry- just, your hairs getting long." Mike mentally slaps his forehead, his hairs getting long? Seriously that's what he comes up with? Ugh.

"You don't like? Steve's been telling me to leave it long." Mike shakes his head.

"No- no- I like it! It reminds me of when Will grew his hair out when we were kids and he would twist his fingers into it during math and when he thought really hard- he did it a lot- he use to keep pushing it out of his face during lunch and-." Mike shuts himself up. Nice one Wheeler gush about your boyfriend to his brother, real smooth.

"Yeah I remember that. Maybe he should grow it out again if you liked it so much." Mike can feel the heat rise to his cheeks which has Nancy and Steve chuckling lowly.

"Nice talk Johnny! Gonna go inside now!" Mike stumbles himself out of Steve's car as soon as it stops and he goes searching for Will. As much as he's been pulling away, he feels bad leaving Will all lonely.

"Hey bab-." Will can't get his sentence out as Mikes hands hold his cheeks in a firm yet gentle grasp and his lips are pressed into Wills. He loves him so much and wants him to know he'd never hurt him, Mike can't bear the thought of Will thinking he'd ever lay a finger on him. He wouldn't. He'd never be like his awful parents.

"Mike- Mike- let me breathe." And Wills laughing as he pulls away but Mikes almost crying. He doesn't know why. He's supposed to be staying big right now, be in that middle ground, he just feels overwhelmed and he shouldn't. He can't is a better way to put it.

"Mike?" Wills brows furrow ever so slightly and Mike finally lets the fact that there are ten people in this room looking at them set in so he does the logical thing- grabs Wills hand and pulls him to Wills bedroom with the door closing too loudly behind them.

"Mike? You okay?" He nods then pushes Will onto the bed so Mikes legs can straddle over Wills lap. It's more sexual than he meant it but he's not going to pull back now.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He murmurs between sweet kisses, he remembers El thinking he didn't say it enough when they were still a couple, now he makes it a point to say it. Even if it sometimes makes him uncomfortable as he never said it out loud before Eleven.

"I love you too, Mike- are you okay?" He feels like sobbing but pushes it away to nod and cradle Wills cheeks. Will looks so- so good compared to Mike.

He'd never worry about slipping into headspace if he was a little, he'd probably embrace it just like he embraces his caregiver headspace. Will would never ruin his family's bloodline or be a disappointment to his mother. Joyce's pride and joy is her two sons, Will especially as he's never so much as lied about brushing his teeth. He's too good for Mike, he deserves someone better than Mike. Someone who isn't a flip and isn't a fuck up.

"Mike? Baby? Why do you look like you're gonna cry?" Wills hand is soft against Mikes cheek that's burning red as he urges tears back.

"I just- I love you so much and I feel like I don't say it enough or- or I don't show it. But I love you and I don't want you to doubt that." 'I don't want you to be disappointed in me' is what Mike wants to say but doesn't.

"Of course I know you love me Mike, I've never doubted that. I never will. But are you sure you're okay? You've been all distant and now you're on my lap." Mike tries to think of a reasoning but he can't, he just leans forward to lay his head down on Wills shoulder and wrap his arms around Wills middle.

Mike can't justify why he's been distant without exposing what his parents do to him on a, becoming more regular, basis. And as much as he trusts Will, he could never tell a soul what happens behind closed doors. Not when his family is oh so perfect.

"The perfect nuclear family" as Nancy's put it. The oldest daughter with big dreams and amazing grades, the middle son who has tight nit friends and loyalty like no other, the youngest daughter still living in the innocent childhood their parents provide. Their parents who are a man that makes a good living and provides for his family, the mother who washes all the dishes and puts on fresh red lipstick just before her husband gets home.

Abuse would put a major dent in that perfect family, just like being a flip, they are caregivers. The Wheelers are a family of caregivers who walk proudly and smile for every picture. They help the littles that wander into their house unknowing that Ted looks down on them simply because of their classification or that Karen, despite not being as open about it as Ted, has a very passive aggressive way of opinions when it comes to littles. Mike gets the brunt of all those opinions and it hurts just as bad as it did the first time.

He can handle all the bruising and anger but the wording stings. "Weak", "immature", "worthless", "amount to nothing", it slices through his skin deeper than the whiskey glass smashed against the wall. He's not weak and he has dreams, big dreams just like Nancy, his are just kept between himself and sometimes Will or Lucas. Mike fantasizes about traveling, maybe to California, and getting away from it all to be a photographer.

While Mike hates getting his own picture taken and never really dabbles in it aside from the occasional lesson he gets under the table from Johnathan, he loves it. He can capture a perfect moment and hold it in his hands to never be tarnished. It would be amazing, Will being an artist like he always wanted and Mike being a photographer that can take picture after picture of whatever he wants. Mostly Will. He has a lot of pictures of Will.

"My love are you sleeping?" Mike startles a bit at Wills soft tone but he pushes himself off of Wills chest. That was too close, he could feel himself starting to slip down that tricky slope of regression and trying to not let the beating from days prior get to him. Mike knows he'd be a crying mess if he became little and while that’s have him less stressed, he’d rather avoid that tumble of emotions.

"Sorry- not sleeping." He has to focus, stay big, that's the only thing he should be worried about right now.

"Mm, the drool on my shirt says differently." Shit did he actually fall asleep? He didn't mean to and quickly wipes the wet patch on Wills shirt. He's never been good at sleeping with his mouth closed or just not drooling in general.

"I'm sorry. Are- are you mad?" A pang of terror spikes in Mikes chest as he stops to stare at Will. He doesn't look mad, why would he? He has to be use to Mikes excessive drooling by now, but what if he is mad? He could be sick of Mike and think he's gross or-

"Of course I'm not mad darling, I'm pretty sure it's a bit late to be mad when we've been dating six months and this is far from the first time you've drooled on me." Right. Of course. Whats Mike even thinking? It's Will of course he isn't mad, he'd never be.

"Yeah- yeah. Sorry." Mikes eyes drop to his lap as he swallows quickly. He's not sure why he's so nervous or why he's betraying every plan he had for tonight.

Mike had thought out how tonight would go and this is definitely not it. He was supposed to stay big and be a safely away from things that could make him slip, like laying across Wills chest. He even wore his most uncomfortable jeans to make sure he didn't get the normal comfort he gets when small. His long sleeve Hellfire shirt to cover bruises, tight black skinny jeans to keep him sort of stiff, black nail polish picked partly off to distract himself and even his watch that will beep when his parents arrive home from the house party they went to tonight.

While game night is always ended with a sleepover in the Byers living room, Mike still wants to know when his parents will be home. Maybe he can get Nancy to drop him off? It might be better for him to be at home away from so many people. Or maybe that's worse? If he slipped at home he could have a repeat of before. He can't tell which risk he wants to take.

"Mike what's wrong?" He looks up at Will with a head tilt, he's fine. Or he thinks he's at least acting fine.

"You keep pulling your hair, you only do that when you're stressed." Shit he's right, Mike untangles the hand he had at the nape of his neck with a tug. He's always hated that habit, it only got worse after receiving his classification. Then again it makes sense, he always seems to be stressed out in some shape or form.

"Schools just been kinda hard and I have homework to do when I go home." It's not a lie but it feels like one. Mike does have homework to do and school has been extra rough lately, it still feels like he just lied straight to Wills face and Mike hates that feeling. It has him nauseous.

"Well you can worry about it later because tonight's about relaxing." Will grins as he leans up to put his arms around Mike shoulders then flop them both onto the full size bed. A few laughs coming from both partners as Will legs end up tangled in Mikes and Mikes head tucked under Wills chin.

"Yeah, you're right." He can relax without slipping, it won't be that hard.

It is that hard and Mike has no idea what to do but panic. He was playing uno like he promised Max, it was them, Dustin, El, Will and Lucas all playing. The whole party while the older kids did some board game with Hopper and Joyce. It's fun and has relaxed Mike a significant amount but that is the issue it seems.

He's so relaxed that he can feel his headspace practically pushing his brain into little mode. He needs to get out of here or he's gonna slip and he's gonna start to cry because his ribs still hurt and his parents would be so mad at him if they knew he was regressing and-

"Mike?" He genuinely jumps away from the hand Steve put on his shoulder. He flinched so hard that he's now standing across from everyone in the room with labored breathing. Shit! Shit! Not a panic attack right now! The last thing Mike needs right now is a panic attack.

"Honey just breathe, it's okay." He jolts at Wills hand on his forearm.

"Don't touch me!" Mike feels his stomach drop through his throat at just how loud that was and how taken back Will looks.

"I'm- I'm sorry- I didn't mean to yell at you- I just- please don't touch me- I can't- I'm sorry." He stops even attempting trying to talk and instead lets his feet stumble backwards til he's pressed against the wall beside the couch and where the hallway begins.

Mikes hands tremble when he peers down at them and that's definitely not a good sign. Shit. He takes in a shaky breath while reaching to press flat at his chest, he can feel his heart beat, but also how fast and heavy his chest is heaving. He needs to calm down, he knows that, everything is going to go to shit if Mike doesn't get himself out of this panicked state.

"Mike how can we help? Tell us what to do." Nancy's right there and Mike almost just reaches for her. She'd hold him into her chest and murmur things about how adorable he is, he loves his sister for that, that loving sisterly energy she always gives. He can't have that now though, he's still fight against his little headspace.

"Too- too much-." There's too many lights and sounds and people around. He wants to be alone where he can curl into a ball and stop being so concerned with other people seeing him.

"Too much what? Was it too loud?" It was but it was a good kind of loud until Mike realized that it was having him slip. He nods to Nancy before sliding down to the floor so he can prop up his knees and tuck his face into the fronts of them with his arms shielding his head away.

"Okay, okay, we turned off the music and tv. Does that help?" Not really. It's apparently too late for that as Mikes brain can't even focus on one solid breath or even just not replaying the events of his parents.

"Do you hear me?! You are ruining this family!"

Mike feels like screeching but refrains to rather choke a sob into his knees. He hates this, he's use to panic attacks by now but still hates the crying bit. It doesn't always happen and only really gets like this when something bad has been going on. It's still somehow worse than any of the beatings or arguments combined, Mike would rather light his skin aflame than cry willingly.

"Darling what can we do to help?" Leave him alone, make him a caregiver, make his life more than a big disappointment. But none of that's reasonable so Mike just tries to sniffle the already falling tears back.

"It's- it's still too much. Everything is too much." The lights are far too bright and he knows there’s more than an acceptable amount of eyes on him as he crumbles apart.

"Okay, alright Steve and Johnathan can take everyone else outside." Mike nods shortly to Joyce's worried words.

"Can you try to look at me? Just look up here bub." That makes a sob crack loose of Mikes chest. Nancy only ever uses that nickname when he's regressed, it originates from his childhood and the nights he'd sneak up into her bed after a bad dream. She'd lull him back to sleep with sweet murmurs and that damn nickname spoken in a gentle whisper.

"I can take you home if you want-."

"No! Please don't make me- no! I can't go there, no, I don't want to, I want to be safe. Please I just want to be be safe." He cruses his little side for being so honest with Nancy and how he knows for sure she heard the fear in his tone.

"Honey all the monsters are gone, you are safe and everyone is here safe too. We're all okay." Mike has a spurt of love spike as he hears Will reassure so gracefully, not a single doubt behind the words.

Although it's not monsters that scare Mike, not the 'other-dimension' kind at least, his monsters sleep down the hall and eat bad meatloaf together every Tuesday evening. They aren’t gone and definitely make him far from safe, if Mike lived in a perfect world where there was a never a monster real to him, he’d be halfway across the world with a different set of parents and maybe a better childhood. One that wasn’t plagued by demons and death, one lived out in the Byers backyard not a thought of worry, eating spaghetti with extra cheese and not having to skip the meal all together as it reminds Mike of what he saw in the upside down and has him gagging. He would go live in that world in a heartbeat. Maybe too quickly if he’s being honest, but there’s a main point that stands out in that world, he’d be a caregiver.

A caregiver that helps his little friends all the time instead of just sometimes. He’d be able to stay big at all times, go live out his dreams not worrying about what awaits him at home. His father would throw those punches or drink that sour smelling alcohol. His mother would look at Mike with adoration and pride instead of disgust and disappointment. His sister wouldn’t have to deal with him crawling to her for comfort. His friends could lean their heads on his shoulder instead of the other way around.

Mike longs for that life. But he knows it’s out of reach. He hates that he can’t have it and it only has him more stressed. Maybe his parents are right and he’ll never be anything in life, maybe he’s bound to rely on them til the day he dies, never leave this cursed town or even that house of horrors. Maybe he really is just a disappointment!

“Mike! Mike stop! Stop- kid- kid calm down you’ll hurt yourself even more.” He can’t calm down and he has no idea why Hopper is restraining his arms back. He doesn’t want to be touched and he definitely doesn’t want his wrists pinned like when his father leans to burn his cigar out on Mikes collar bone.

“Get off! Get off! Please stop!” Mike takes a moment to realize that he’s yelling and crying extremely loud. Louder than loud, he’s almost screeching while thrashing in Hoppers hold.

"I can’t do that kid, you were pulling your hair too tight.” He was what? He doesn’t notice it til that moment but his scalp is tender with pain and hands are in tight fists. Shit.

Mike stills and looks up at Hopper with confusion that quickly switches to dread. He has him pinned- Mike can’t do anything to get out of this grasp. He can’t defend himself in any way shape or form. Shit, shit, shit!

“Don’t- don’t hurt me, I’m sorry! Please I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He begs and takes all his energy to stop crying, his father always got more angry the more Mike cried and maybe Hoppers the same.

“Woah, Woah, Mike breathe. I’m not going to hurt you, I’d never hurt you kid.” It’s not all that much helpful but Hopper does let his hands loosen over Mikes wrists. Mike breathes a short breath of calm.

“Can you let go? I- I won’t pull my hair.” Not purposely at least.

“Okay kid, just try to keep breathing.” His breathing isn’t perfect or anywhere close to it but it’s enough that has Mikes chest not so tight.

That calmness is quickly thrown out the window when Nancy’s appearing beside Mike with a loud gasp. Mike furrows his brows but peers down to where Nancy’s staring, his shirts pushed up enough to show the purple bruise still on his ribs, Mike quickly gets the shirt pulled down and sits up to look at Nancy wide eyed. Shit.

“Mike what happened….” Nancy trails off as tears well up in her eyes. Mike stumbles to his knees so he can try to explain that very incriminating bruise that’s surely enough for Hopper to go arrest his father.

“It’s not what you think! I- I fell, yeah, I fell.” It’s an awful lie but Mikes never been good at keeping secrets from his sister once she had an idea of what could’ve happened.

“Oh baby.” Joyce puts a hand on Nancy’s shoulder and Mike squirms under the gazes. Hoppers putting the pieces together as his eyebrows raise up his forehead, Will has a few tears sliding down that he’s quick to cover, Nancy turns her head into Joyce’s neck and Joyce just gives this look of understanding mixed with concern.

“I swear I fell! I totally fell, like- like down the stairs at home and- and…..” Nobody seems to be believing Mike so he stops talking all together.

“Mike did dad do that?” Nancy wipes her puffy eyes with a turn to Mike. He bites his bottom lip and urges his hand away from his still pained scalp to instead fidget with the hem of his shirt.

“Mike you need to tell me.” He closes his eyes with a breath, all he has to do is say it. He knows how bad everything will be afterwards but he can’t not say it.

“Yeah he did. But- but I deserved it and I should’ve known better and-! Nancy please, I deserved it, you can’t be mad at him!” His sister stands in a fury of sisterly protection that Mike follows quickly to try and stop.

“Mike, listen very carefully, no matter what happened or what you think you did, you didn’t deserve any of it. Nobody deserves to get hit by their father.” Joyce cuts in as her eyes flick to Will for a moment.

“No- no I did! I- I slipped at home and I’m not supposed to do that! I know I’m not, I broke the rules! It wasn’t even that bad! It’s far from the worst I’ve had!” Mike brushes his hands through his hair a few times as his volume raises throughout the explanation. He really did know it was a bad idea and what would come if he ever regressed at home.

“Wait- is this because you regressed?” Shit.

“Nance it’s fine, I should’ve known better.” He gives the most assuring tone he can but Nancy’s eyes light up like flames.

“I’m gonna kill him!” She’s spinning on her heels to grab the nail-filled bat that sits by the front door since everything with the upside-down went down.

Nancy storms out the door, bat up by her shoulder, walk like she’s running the world and nothing can stop her. Mike rushes to follow her outside, he knows how serious she is and it’s not going to be pretty if she gets to that house.

“Steve, Johnathan let’s go!” Both her boyfriends jaws go partly slack jaw at Nancy snatching Steve’s keys out of his back pocket and stalking to the car but they jump to follow her.

“Nancy wait!”

#writing #tw abuse #stranger things agere #flip!mike #caregiver!will #mike x will #Nancy x Johnathan x Steve #mike wheeler angst #mike wheeler #will byres #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #johnathan byers #joyce byers #jim hopper #jj writes

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eddiessidegirl · 2 years

Text

Hell Bent for Leather

Chapter 5

Masterlist: x

Summary: You’re just now learning about what your little brother has been up to over the years post earthquake, and that formerly thought to be dead people weren’t

Pairing: Eddie x Henderson!Reader

Reader is a plus size Female with female genitalia, she/her pronouns

Slight Vol 2 spoilers but this is a fix-it fic

Warnings: Swearing, canon compliant violence and gore, eventual smut, mutual pining, death, kind of angsty at moments, potential for MC death.

Chapter word count: 1922

MINORS DNI - 18+

There was no sleep in the cards for you, at least not for the last 7 hours. Thankfully summer was finally upon Hawkins and school was now almost over, you didn’t need to attend the ceremony, and your diploma came in the mail a few days prior. You sat zombie like at the table waiting for Steve and Robin to come pick you and Dustin up to go see Eddie. Dustin had whispered that you looked…off, and he was concerned. The BMW sped its way towards your house, Harrington got there in record time, Robin screaming a creative amount of expletives at home the whole way. The squealing of the tires could be heard from down the block.

“You know, I almost jabbed myself in the eye when you turned the corner that last time, and you complained about Maxs’ driving abilities…jeez.” Dustin had been waiting by the door, and lead them through to the kitchen table.

“Y/N, Steve and Robin are here to drive us, let’s go.” Your younger brother helped you up, thankfully you weren’t catatonic - just very tired, dazed and scared. You were afraid to fall back asleep in case that…clock appeared again. Nodding you walked out to the car, Robin got in next to you and helped you clean up your face which hadn’t been washed since the night prior. One of your hands stayed clutched to your bag while the other held onto the necklace.

The drive to Hoppers cabin wasn’t long but Dustin did his best to explain how he’d found you in the morning on your bed shivering, crying and not wanting to sleep. Steve shot you a sympathetic look, he could tell you’d been through sometime intense he didn’t know what. As the red 733i got nearer and nearer to the clearing you began to visibly relax and almost come to.

Someone had already called ahead to let Eddie know you were coming, probably Dustin, he was already waiting on the porch leaning against the support beam and as soon as he saw the car he pushed off and hurried down the stairs to meet you guys as Steve parked.

“What’s wrong with her? What happened?” His ringed hand pulling on the handle harshly over and over until Steve yelled at him to wait for him to unlock the door. The soft click alerted him to it being open and as soon as the door was wide enough Eddie slipped his hand into yours and guided your feet up the stairs his other arm wrapped around your waist holding you protectively. Trying to coax words out of you and slowly succeeding, you were able to to manage a nod or two.

“Wait are they…?” Steve whispered to Dustin who nodded and then pressed his finger to his mouth, he would explain it later to him.

The rest of the party arrived eventually, and soon the small cabin was filled with people, it was suffocating but necessary since everyone there had been through it all before.

When you were all sat on the couch and mis-matched chairs in the living room you began to describe the dream, voice hoarse from not being used much since Eddie left your room; glazing over everything that happened before you went to bed. Talking about your dream made you self conscious but everyone around you didn’t look like they were judging you, instead they looked concerned, “It felt so real…and when I woke up it was like I had been frozen. All I was able to do was curl up in the middle of my bed and pray I didn’t sleep again. Or hear the clock”

Every single eye in the room was on you, a few mouths hung open. Max was sitting across from you, her blue eyes glancing down at the key around your neck. “Y/N… Where did you get that necklace?” Her voice unintentionally harsh, the redhead quickly apologized.

Slowly you glanced over at Eddie, red blossomed across your face and neck in patches. One by one everyone raised their brows and exchanged looks. “I found it near my trailer. I went back to get some of my shit one night and it was there by the stairs. Didn’t think anything of it and pocketed it.” Eddie’s big brown eyes looked over to Max, concern painted his features. “Why? Do you recognize it?”

“It looks exactly like the necklace that Ms. Kelly, the guidance counsellor, wore during our meetings…”

“Ms. Kelly? As in the woman who’s keys we stole to break into her office? That Ms. Kelly?” Steve as always was a few steps behind, Max just nodded, no snappy comeback today.

Arguments had begun to break out, about whether you should get rid of the necklace or if they should take turns holding onto it. Words flew everywhere it was making the room spin with every turn of your head as you tried to keep up. But it was so overwhelming especially since you hadn’t slept all night.

“Shut up!” Dustin screamed, “let’s discuss this calmly and rationally. What do we know?” Clearly your brother had put on his thinking cap and was getting down to business. “Obviously Vecna is not dead as we thought, he wants that necklace Y/N is wearing and we know he won’t stop until he gets it.”

“What do you suggest we do then, Henderson? The dude can find us anywhere, we saw what happened with Nance.” Steve nodded his head over to Nancy who was sat in the kitchen chair near you. She told you about her experience being attacked and it had horrified you to the core. That is what was awaiting you if he came for you again.

“Moms gone for the summer, she’s looking for houses outside of Hawkins.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, “we could make our house home base so that none of us are alone.”

“Wait, what?! What do you mean moms out looking at houses, we have a house. A perfectly good one, here! In HAWKINS!” Dustin’s voice raised to a shrill. A hushed “Chill out man,” came from Mike and a couple others.

The room stilled for a few moments. Everyone withdrawn into their own thoughts and feelings. Dustin was fuming and went to sit on the porch stairs. The warmth of Eddie’s frame radiating through you causing the rush of adrenaline that was coursing through your veins to dissipate, but the couch was cramped and your body was crying out for sleep. Eventually voices picked up again, this time going over ideas for plans of attack. Questions also floated around the room, Lucas wondered what Vecna wanted it for. Will said he hadn’t had a feeling about him in a while and it concerned him. It finally became too much for you to handle.

“Jane, do you mind if I go lay in your room?”

A quizzical look crossed her face “why not in Eddie’s room? Are you two not…dating?” Your eyes widened, along with your eyes, your face looked like that of a deer caught in headlights. Eddies face mirrored yours exactly, even more deer like since his eyes were already so doe-like. It was obvious that she hadn’t meant it in a bad way, Jane was still learning social cues and missteps were expected. But you hadn’t expected her to be so astutely observant especially since you barely knew her.

“I- uh I mean, technically speaking, we..we’re not?” Eddie looked to you for confirmation and received a nod in response, “besides your room is far more female friendly than mine.” This elicited a snort from Max, he shot her a mock angry look but smiled at her.

Jane narrowed her eyes, still unsure but lead you to her room, your feet unsteady with tiredness. The mattress dipped when you sat on it, and the springs squeaked with your movement causing your lips to twist in embarrassment but Jane didn’t say anything other than to bid you a good rest and left the door open a few inches, and those inches made you feel safe, a closed door scared you right now. After laying staring at the wall for what seemed like hours you finally fell asleep.

“Dude, are you dating her?” Steve asked Eddie when he’d gone out for a puff.

“Nah man, we’ve only kissed and I wasn’t going to chance anything with her little brother sneaking around the halls like Gollum when he was following the hobbits.”

“I wasn’t sneaking, you guys were being too loud and I needed to know if I had to yell at your to shut up” Dustin had appeared out of thin air behind them, Eddie’s already massively poofy hair poofed a bit more from the scare, giving him a manic look.

“Jesus H. Christ kid, we’re getting a bell for you to wear. Can’t be sneaking up on me like that. I almost died remember?”

The two of them squabbled until Steve couldn’t take it anymore “hey knuckleheads, will you two shut up? El’s room is right there.”

The three of them walked around to the back of the cabin out of your hearing range and discussed what needed to happen, Dustin radioed to Lucas in the cabin to have everyone come outside so that you could sleep while they talked.

Max and Mike were in the middle of an argument as they rounded the corner, “Obviously she can’t come with us.” “Why not?” “Because dummy she can barely handle a dream let alone be in the Upside Down.” The only thing the two of them could agree on was that the adults needed to be aware. Hopper and Joyce had told them that if anything was going to happen to tell them so they could do something rather than it be last minute.

Several hours later you awoke; the room was dark, quiet. Disoriented you struggled to your feet and padded towards the main area. The warm yellow light of a couple lamps threw shadows along the walls and the soft dull noises of the tv drew you into the makeshift living room. Erica sat in the chair watching My Little Pony reruns.

“Where’s Ed—everyone?” You asked her, voice laced with sleep.

Erica scoffed, clearly annoyed that they’d left her behind, “they didn’t tell me where they were going exactly, but I know it’s a lake. Left me on…babysitting duty even though you’re too old for one. And your precious boyfriend told me to tell you to stay here and be good.” The younger Sinclair sibling rolled her eyes and mutter comments about him not having the balls to do it himself.

The air around you swirled coldly in the cabin, sure it was summer but the winds had picked up and you could tell it was going to rain. A snap decision happened in your head, you were going to go get them, they could not be out on the lake if it rained, what if lightning followed along with it? They’d be sitting ducks.

Half asleep still you shoved your feet into your shoes and grabbed a jacket off the rung on the wall, it might have been Hoppers’ or Janes’, you couldn’t tell. Either way it was better than no jacket. Quietly you slid out the front door, Erica had already been sucked back into her cartoon, meanwhile you were running down a path, droplets of rain beginning to fall, making your feet slide as the dirt turned into mud.

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