LOOKING THROUGH GLAZED EYES

HELPS YOU TO REALIZE

NOTHING'S GONE RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE

THE MEDS AREN'T THAT HELPFUL

IT'S HARD TO STAY HALF-FULL

WHEN ALL YOU FEEL'S ANGER AND SPITE

I haven’t been writing for a while, I feel terrible about it. Since now I have always used my laptop and used Grammarly before uploading here. Right now it is 5:43 am, in the middle of Ramadan, school is closed because of it. I need to study, I know, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It takes too much of my time, and my efforts fucking always goes unnoticed. Expected, I know. My laptop is fucking broken and useless now, I can barely use it. Day by day I am losing my sanity because of it. I have no will whatsoever. I begged to die yesterday, crying and shivering. Pathetic. Couldn’t even stop. I wish my parents would see me as a human instead of a puppet who should just focus on their studies. They want the good for me, but what’s the point if every single word they make me want to crawl out of my skin? Staying with them for over three minutes is painful. I want to be myself. To be free. I can understand and see my mother’s thoughts, I can feel them. Like a hand is holding a vein between my heart and neck. It’s not fair. How my father treats my younger sister, how my mother is different to her. Few days ago, well actually two days ago- Me and my sister cried in each other’s arms complaining about life. She is fucking 9. Nine. She says life is too hard, how she thought pain is fictional. She saw a childhood video of mine, and it shocked her how different i had become. Trauma can change you, some people have it harder, you may not remember and intellectualise your past. My mother has a lot of opinions, and I know the existence of it. Just because she ‘loves’ me doesn’t mean I feel loved by her, she oversees my screams, and tears. I am genuinely disgusted by her. If I were a mother, I vow I wouldn’t be like her. She thinks she is the best in the whole world, she ‘thinks’ she lets us do whatever we want. She simply doesn’t ‘parent’ us. She never will. And my father is… ugh. Saying anything about him brings tears to my eyes, it fact there are tears in my eyes right now. He cares, but I did wish if he just left me fucking Alone. I want my own life. I fucking hate my parents. I am being ungrateful and don’t fucking care anymore. They simply don’t fucking understand how fucking hard it is to get these grades. How can ALL of your three kids be suicidal? One is 9, another is fucking 7 and tried to kill hi self with a knife. I don’t even know if they are blind or are just ignoring everything. Mother likes to hide from father. I hate her. I hate it when I tell her my grades and she doesn’t tell father, father thought I hide my grades from him. I didn’t correct him. It hurts. I have my ambitions and all, please just give me a fucking break. From all your fucking expectations and opinions. I hate my mother. I tell her I love her every now and then, I am simply lying. I joke around and shit, but I can’t stand it anymore. I am a Muslim, a mighty believer too. I can’t run away when I get older, no matter how much I want to. Maybe I can, hopefully. Though death seems more easy, still begging your God to take away your life but still let you go to heaven is like begging your teacher to let you leave the exam hall and still let you pass. When will I be free? When? Never? I want freedom, I hate my mother’s thoughts and opinions, I can fucking feel them. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. She thinks she is the best mother there is, yet all she does she buy endlessly for her little dolls and argue how I have tons of clothes. She hates me, I am too ugly for her. I know. I hope she— no I don’t even want her to know about the pain she had caused us. She is too stubborn and would cry like a child. It’s sadly really, to be trapped your whole life. I can never be alone, I hate them. I hate taking the blame always. It’s not like my father is the capable man he thinks he is. I want to die.

Actually you know what? I don’t want to be away from a family, I want to spend time with a family, I want to joke around with a family(I mean I am already a laughing subject no matter how amazing my grades and weight are.) I just can’t stand this one. I am far too disgusted by them. Far, far too disgusted. In Ramadan, your Naf is still with you, maybe this is who I actually am. A pathetic emotional child. A worthless being. What benefit would my parents get from my successful future, that I do not know. I think they want me to succeed so they can feel like they accomplished something. I can never be my own person. I hate them. Even if parents have their own problems, their children still shouldn’t all be fucking in love with death.

Here, death is not a fear but a privilege. The children envies people who experience death. They want to physically(my sister said to me that day) harm themselves for attention. Please, you are fucking busy but you are a parent. They aren’t parenting, they are slacking off, giving us the basic human needs then taking a break. I was never enough, will never be. I am worthless, and if my fucking mother says ‘Oh Sweetie no! Who told you that!?’ In her honeyed voice, I will kill her. I probably won’t— but it will still be my breaking point js—

Freedom, heaven, today I saw a comment on a reel on Instagram, saying the prophet said life is a prison to the believers and paradise to the non-believers. It is kind of like a sign, of course life is not a paradise to everyone. I am doubting the authenticity of the translation. The last sentence doesn’t sound correct, it certainly is not from the Quran. It says ‘prison’ not hell, so I don’t think the is actually ‘paradise’. I did like how it said ‘prison’ though, a sign hopefully. It just gives you that shed of hope every delusional teenager with trauma likes to cling into.

-6:39 including time taken for tags :P

In the Source Link, you will find a gif pack of Bailee Madison in Pretty Little Liars Original Sin.

Bailee plays the role of Imogen Adams, a pregnant high school student whose mother commits suicide. She then becomes involved in finding out just why her mother did so and comes across a long hidden secret. The father of her unborn child is later shown to have drugged and r*ped her.

Source - FabledEnigma

Fandom: Detective Conan

Characters/Pairings: Hattori Heiji & Tooyama Kazuha, Hattori Heiji, Tooyama Kazuha

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

It had only been a matter of time until he couldn't hold up the mask anymore. At least, not well enough to fool anyone.

job hunt

“Why don’t you—”

“—just tell us something—"

“—little about yourself—”

“What would you like to know?”

“Oh, anyth—”

“—that comes to—”

“You really should’ve just walked into traffic last night.”

“Excuse me?” Rosa’s voice rings faintly in her own ears. The interviewer leaves the sentence curling on the table between them, blinking owlishly at her. 

“Well, I was saying you can just tell me anything you think the company should know. about you, while you’re considered for the position,” the examiner repeats, some flat annoyance creeping into the words. The shock clanging around Rosa’s ears latches onto it, rage snapping up through her chest and hitting nothing, snarling at an empty chamber as her heart limps out of her teeth.

“I… apologize, I, misheard you. My fault, thank you for elaborating,” she says, feeling the words glide over her tongue as she convinces her hands not to lunge over the desk.

She walks from the yellowing back office two minutes later with a promise for future contact, and a mouth filled with dust and blood and printer ink. She will not remember the drive home.

Posting the entirety of my original "prologue" comic here because I think the story beats still hold up even if I'm not exactly a fan of how it looks

Everything I got on vacation 💒

Prisoner AU: Page 10

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That pizza was innocent...

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Next

Previous

Page One

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Master Post of Comics

I'm very curious about clara bow, especially because it seems to me that it would be taylor comparing herself to clara bow and how she felt during the relationship. But that being the last song I wonder if it would be like a hopeful song (if the tracklist progresses linearly when it comes to how she felt with time) and in that case I wonder if it will be how she doesn't want to make the same decisions as clara bow made? (Idk i don't really know a lot about her other than what I have read on tumblr) or do you think it could be a sad song like hoax? When it comes to closing the album

i think it could be a lament for all the women who were forced into boxes from which they could never break free, and who suffered the consequences if they didn't make themselves smaller or more palatable. the women who tried and tried and overcame so much adversity, but still couldn't do it "perfectly." who were gaslit and provoked endlessly until their downfall. and i think it will touch on how society, at large, does this to women... but the men in their intimate lives also take part.

reading about clara bow (and i am not an expert), it's obvious why taylor might relate:

clara was considered scandalous at the time due to her sex life and many relationships, but she had an intangible "it factor" that made her beloved and yet more widely criticized. she had some major disagreements/issues with studios, and her mental health was in decline, which led to her leaving the spotlight. that's when she met rex bell...

(also, reminds me of how taylor spoke about zelda fitzgerald's biography. obviously we have tlgad about rebekah harkness. she's spoken about liking sylvia plath. there's a theme here. even the main character in rebecca - fictional, but still.)

simon saying he wants to be become ice king again is so in character it’s agonising. he wore the crown again and again to begin with so he could save a girl, even if it meant the horror of losing himself and driving away every last person he cared about. he spent over a thousand years in that state, practically lost and replaced. almost nobody knew who he used to be, not even him. the new world wasn’t jarring, because this was how it had always been for ice king, for a thousand years, for the forever that he could process. he had his place in the system and he wasn’t *happy*, but he slid into the chaos of ooo as his state of mind deteriorated.

then he’s cognisant again. but the love of his life is dead. and it truly sinks in that even though he is back, the ice king would never give back the time he took from him. the world he knew slipped away while he forgot it, and he’s left as an outsider who can’t even find solace in his own species, one that moved on without him. he has to sit with everything ice king did. everything that took from him. every way that hurt others. every moment of sickening confusion and loss and pain. and those who could never feel the gravity tell him again and again that he was so much cooler and fun back then! that he’s just some lame old guy now, such a downer! always on about some girl, or staring off sadly! who would want to mope with him at a bar rather than party with the ice king, right?

marcaline doesn’t even rely on him anymore. grown and independent now. grown when he wasn’t there to see it. it’s not like anybody else needs him either, and what does he have to give now, anyway? he tries and tries to bring his girlfriend back and every time he’s smacked in the face. he’s so tired. he’s so, so tired. he wouldn’t half mind being the ice king again, because even with the pain of that, at least he wouldn’t be capable of thinking about these things anymore. he would have powers that could help people again. he would be fun and charismatic and free from being cognisant. even better than dying, he could make people happy this way too. two birds with one stone, in his eyes. at least the ice king has a reason to be alive.

it becomes a third bird when fionna *needs* this. it’s not the only plausible solution, but it’s a damn clean one. her problems will be fixed, fixed with the crown the way that simon used to fix every problem all those years ago. the most reliable shortcut. he’ll be free from life, and the world will get their *beloved* ice king back. the events of 1000 years ago can repeat, but this time he’ll never seek a cure.

of course this is a flawed view, and i can’t remotely see this being the endgame for his arc, and it could *never* be portrayed as the right course of action. falling into that old pattern and life would be a monumental act of self harm in an attempt to escape himself, and it would leave marcaline in pieces to see him relapse and lose himself all over again in that last ditch effort. it’s genuinely a simultaneous act of relapse and suicide, and though it’s so clear why he’s reached this point, i do NOT believe this series will end with him re-becoming the ice king. and if it does, it will be a horrifying event, not a happy culmination of his character arc.

magical girl ward

James Sunderland in Silent Hill 2 compared to Silent Hill 2 Remake

Silent Hill 2 (2001) | Silent Hill 2 (2023) [1 2 3]

Oh no. The child ate the poisonous flowers again. :p

tbh i hate when people are like "idk how anyone makes angst or gets serious topics out of saiki k when its literally just a gag manga🤓" when the akechi arc, the cattank arc, the volcano arc, and literally every episode where he feels guilty about hiding his powers all exist????

tumblr users two months ago: you look extremely suicidal today beautiful ❤️ @ kendall roy

tumblr users soon right now: you look extremely suicidal today beautiful ❤️ @ man from the bear