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kimvvantae · 4 years

Text

puzzle; 6 (m)

➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)

rating: 18+

word count: 13k wooohoooooo

A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:

Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)

Whitesnake - Is This Love

BTS - Jamais Vu

Sam Smith - Lay Me Down

enjoy!

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

“You’re acting weird.”

You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.

“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.

“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.

Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.

Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried.

It’s very annoying, to be honest.

“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.

“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”

“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff.

“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”

Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”

Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”

He leaves.

Jimin stays.

You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.

“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.

Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”

“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”

“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin."

He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”

“So what?"

Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”

“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.

Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days.

It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.

And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.

As usual.

tae: wyd?? 👀👀

you: working

tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job

you: yea

you: it’s one night thing

you: i need the 💸💸

tae: oh

tae: ok

tae: i’ll ask later then

you: wAIT

you: ask what??????

tae: later

tae: u should work first~

you: but im curious

you: i can’t work if im curious >:(

tae: 🙊

you: tae????

you: taeeeeeeee

you: TAEHYUNG

He doesn’t reply anymore.

You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.

The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup.

You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.

You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.

Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.

Your feelings are all messed up.

Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.

Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.

But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!

One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.

You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.

That’s devastating.

Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.

You simply miss him.

What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.

After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.

There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.

You’re not jealous of friends.

Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.

Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.

…what the fuck?

Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.

More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?

If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?

Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?

You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.

Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.

When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music.

After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.

The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.

You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!

But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.

Your heart flutters in a funny way.

Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder.

Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.

He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-

Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.

Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.

Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-

“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.

You gulp.

Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.

Just do your job. Just do your job.

The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.

“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.

“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though.

“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.

“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.

“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”

You gulp.

Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.

He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly.

“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.

When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-

An excited scream tears the air.

“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”

You almost gasp.

Jungkookie?!

That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.

He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.

The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).

“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-

“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.

You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.

Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.

Not now.

You definitely don’t want to laugh now.

Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.

“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.

“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:

“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.

Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.

“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”

“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.

You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!

“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.

What he says gets you.

Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.

You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook.

Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.

You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!

“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.

You walk over to the dance floor.

The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you.

Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?

You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.

“Y/N-?”

“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”

Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.

She stops on her tracks.

“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.

“Yes.”

“And?”

You see fire in her eyes.

“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”

Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.

For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.

But then you look at each other for the first time.

It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.

Oh shit.

You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.

It feels foreign.

The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.

What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.

The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.

For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.

“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.

“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend.

Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”

Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?

Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?

Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity.

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.

You did miss him a lot.

The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.

Wasted days and sleepless nights

But I can’t wait to see you again…

Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song.

Right?

“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?

“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!

It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.

That’s new.

Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.

Awkward.

Why am I feeling this way?

A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.

Why is that?

You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.

Being hit by a truck would hurt less.

What’s happening?

Why are you so damn confused?

When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:

Is this love

That I’m feeling?

Is this the love

That I’ve been searching for?

Fuck you, Whitesnake.

For real.

Fuck. You.

“Did Taehyung ask you?”

This brings you back to reality in an instant.

“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?

You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.

“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”

Your blood honestly feels like frost.

It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.

“What? Why?”

“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”

Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.

“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.

“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”

You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?

He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.

This is so fucked up.

The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high.

But as you’re about to say it, you stop.

What if Jungkook wants to go?

All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.

Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?

How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?

What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.

That’s why you hear yourself asking:

“Do you want to go?”

It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.

But Jungkook tilts his head and says:

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”

And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.

It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.

It’s time to be a good friend for once.

It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.

You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.

That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.

But…

There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.

And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.

Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.

He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.

Shit.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.

Shit.

“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.

Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.

S. H. I. T.

“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?"

It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”

You’re definitely a walking disaster.

You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.

An amusement park of all places.

Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.

What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.

You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.

Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.

You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.

The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.

…

Shit.

Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.

“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess.

“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.

“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”

Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”

You sigh.

You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:

“5th grade.”

You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.

“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.

“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.

“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.

“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.

“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.

You glare at him.

He has a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.

“What happened to him?” Joy asks.

“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal.

“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.

“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”

“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”

“It isn’t!”

“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”

You both giggle.

Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.

But it’s only for one moment.

You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place.

At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.

Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.

So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.

You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.

But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.

You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her. You can’t help but see their closure.

You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.

And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.

“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”

You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.

Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.

You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.

You’re genuinely enjoy this.

But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it.

As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook.

If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.

Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand.

Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…

What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other.

What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.

And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.

Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends.

It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.

The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.

And the most painful fact of all-

“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression.

The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.

He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.

But all you can think of is Jungkook.

And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.

You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.

But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.

“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Damn. It hurts to see him like this.

“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly.

If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.

You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project.

For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.

You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”

“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”

You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”

“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”

It gets you off guard.

He’s way more observant than you expected.

“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”

You stare at each other in silence for a while.

“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?

Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?

Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.

“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”

“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”

This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”

You shouldn’t have said that.

You shouldn’t have called him Tae.

Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else.

His hand is still resting on your cheek.

And he says nothing.

He just… stares right into your eyes.

You can’t move.

You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity.

That’s when you should have pushed him away.

But you can’t.

Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.

The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.

Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.

You melt.

Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.

When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”

“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it.

“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”

Taehyung grins. “Good night.”

Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time.

You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.

Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”

You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.

How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!

You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe.

For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.

But…

No. Don’t think about him.

You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-

There’s someone knocking on the front door.

You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?

You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-

And gasp.

Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.

Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.

Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.

“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…

Banana milk.

“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.

You inhale sharply.

He’s right. You need to talk.

The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.

You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.

Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…

You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you.

You can’t lose this opportunity.

“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.

“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.

The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you.

“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”

Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”

You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again.

More silence.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.

“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation.

He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.

“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”

Oh.

Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.

What a mood killer, Jungkook.

You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.

A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.

“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach.

It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.

A little more silence.

“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.

You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?

“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.

Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.

You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.

“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”

“She broke up with me.”

Oh.

“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together.

Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.

It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?

“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”

This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.

And back to silence.

You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.

Say something, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.

Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.

“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.

You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing.

“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”

“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.

“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”

“And I agreed.”

“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him.

“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”

“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race.

You finally look at each other.

The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…”

Well… now you do.

The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two?

“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.

“I missed you, too.” he confesses.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You smile at each other.

That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.

But something holds you back.

This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.

Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.

“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”

You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”

Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug.

“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”

“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”

Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.

“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear.

Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”

“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”

Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours.

Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”

“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.

“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion.

“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”

“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”

“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.

“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”

He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”

“But she’s doing nothing.”

Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”

“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended.

“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.”

“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”

“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.

“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm.

“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face.

“You cocky little shit.”

“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality.

“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.

“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”

“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.”

“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”

“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.

“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”

You don’t really get what he means with it.

For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house. You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.

You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”

He frowns. “Seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”

Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.

“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home).

“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.

When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”

“…yes.”

“You said you didn’t know where it was!”

You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”

He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.

“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex.

He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”

“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page.

“There’s always something more to watch.”

You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something.

You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.

You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.

And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.

You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.

It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…

You turn your head to the side and freeze.

It’s Jungkook.

Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table.

You never slept together before.

There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex.

You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.

You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.

His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing.

He’s seriously so beautiful.

But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars.

It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him.

Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears.

This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life.

He’s a part of you.

The most important part of you.

In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.

You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.

His eyes finally open and he yawns.

“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”

“It is,” you say softly.

He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”

You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.

Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.

He gazes back at you.

Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.

You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.

Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.

He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there.

Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.

You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.

You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.

You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.

It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.

Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.

Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.

This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.

You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.

Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.

Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear.

You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.

But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

This isn’t fucking.

The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.

What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct.

It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.

You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.

Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.

And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.

Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.

It feels that you two became one.

He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.

Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.

It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.

But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.

Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.

You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.

You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…

Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.

1K notes · View notes

plctitude · 3 years

Text

* daniel sharman, cis man + he/him | you know tobin 't.c.' childs, right? they’re 30, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eleven years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the art of getting by by laura zocca like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole scuffed shoes and messy bedhead, faded denim jacket, nervous twisting of a wedding ring on his ring finger thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 3rd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

( CW : cancer & death ) .

hello ! im gel and this is my little runt t.c. ! lmk if you wanna plot something

full name : tobin childs . preferred name / nickname : t.c. age : thirty . birthday : june 3rd . sexual orientation : straight . relationship status : widowed , single . occupation : pediatrician . residence : port apartments .

history ––

t.c. was born in hackney , london . he’s gone by t.c. ever since he can remember and rarely ever allows people to call him tobin ( even his family ) .

his parents went through a horrible divorce when he was 13 , at which point he moved to the usa with his mother to live with his grandparents . his father stayed in england with his then-girlfriend , now his wife and t.c.’s stepmother .

he and his mother ended up in wrightsville beach, a small town near wilmington, nc.

essentially based off of landon from a walk to remember : an absolute troublemaker as a teenager . completely aimless and just uncaring caring about his future . his senior year , he and his friends ended up getting a boy’s leg broken after a prank went wrong . instead of being expelled , t.c. was only made to do a multitude of service/community projects . and that’s how he becomes close to avery , when they’re paired up in the school play . his friends had always disliked her , because that’s how the status quo was – he was in the popular crowd and she was the daughter of the local minister .

cancer cw // they grew closer , and after getting past some petty high school drama , they began to date . it’s not until several dates later that avery tells t.c. that she has leukemia , and she’s not making any plans for the future . and t.c. goes to his estranged father , a doctor , to beg him to help avery , but despite their best efforts , there’s nothing that can be done .

cancer cw // avery’s condition worsens , and she ends up in the hospital . she decides to forgo further treatment , wanting to be able to enjoy the time she has left . on the night of their graduation, t.c. asks avery to marry him , and she accepts . they get married a week later with their closest friends and family , avery’s father officiating .

death cw // they spent the summer as a married couple , and avery passed away that fall. and as a result, t.c. became a very young widow .

t.c. tried his best to heal and move on , working odd jobs and making plans to go to college then medical school , but being in a town full of memories was just too painful so he decided to leave .

he moved to irving , nc where his aunt ( his mother’s sister ) and her family lives . ( this was about 11 years ago )

he worked as a waiter for about a year while taking online classes at the local college , before he transferred to unc chapel hill . he graduated in three years and then went to attend medical school at wake forest .

originally , he planned to work in oncology but instead of it being a helpful part of his healing process like it can be for some , it actually just forced him to remember a lot of things about avery and it hurt too much . so he chose to become a pediatrician instead , since he loved working with kids and he was pretty good at comforting the parents when he needed to .

now ––

t.c. definitely considers irving his home now , but he still does his best to visit his mom and her boyfriend in wrightsville beach . he also visits avery’s father every now and again just to catch up and to make sure he’s doing alright . there are four times a year he will always visit though – avery’s birthday , his birthday , his and avery’s wedding anniversary , and the anniversary of avery’s death .

he works as a pediatrician which surprisingly isn’t as stressful of a job as he thought it would be . he absolutely loves working with kids and he’s very committed to his job .

becoming a widow at such a young age really put a lot of things in perspective for him so he’s a lot less indecisive and apathetic as he used to be .

that being said , he stills finds it hard to get up in the morning sometimes . he’ll wake up about 15 minutes before his shift starts , not because he overslept , but because he laid in bed staring at the ceiling for thirty minutes .

he still has an english accent but it’s not as obvious as it used to be when he first moved to the us . it’s definitely still there but there are slang words that he doesn’t really say with an accent , or with just a very faint one .

personality ––

the grief he experienced from losing avery was something that was incredibly hard for him to work through , but a lot of what he does now, he does to make her proud . she still serves as motivation for him to get up and go do things , because he knows that she wouldn’t want him just sitting around .

he’s an all-around good guy , though a little quiet at times . he sometimes tends to fall a bit too deep into his thoughts , but overall , he’s charming and really sweet .

he loves being around people , but on a bad day , it can be very draining for him .

when he gets anxious , he fiddles with the ring on his hand , which he hasn’t taken off and doesn’t ever plan to. with how often people ask about the ring , he’s grown more used to telling the story of him and avery but most people notice the way he still gets a little choked up every time .

hobbies include : writing , volunteering , cooking ( not baking ) .

wcs ––

ride-or-die best friend - they’ve been friends since t.c. blew into town and they’ve been inseparable since

exes - these probably didnt last long bc he genuinely feels like he’s used up his one ‘true / epic love’ on avery ; could’ve ended well or badly

neighbor(s) - would love like a cute little apartment group that gets together and has dinner parties and regular parties and movie nights , game nights ,etc.

someone he volunteers with - they could be friends who just decided to volunteer somewhere together or they could’ve met when they were both volunteering at the same place

childhood friends / enemies ? either from london or from wrightsville . it would be cool to have someone who knew him before avery .

former coworkers – from back when he was a waiter

college classmates – at unc chapel hill

current coworkers – other doctors , medical professionals , etc.

friends of his aunt , friends of his aunt’s family

friends , in general !

literally anything ! i’m super super down for anything so lmk if you wanna plot

#irvingintro #cancer cw #death cw #this is #a lot #sorry #( HEADCANON // t.c. childs . )

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

Overworked || ~ JH

Words: 3,856

Warnings: I don’t think there is any except swearing is involved

Pairings: Hoseok X Reader

Genre: fluffy|Cute| couple goals

Summery: You’re a student in college, you and Hoseok have been dating for two years, you lived together but he’s away on tour leaving you in charge of the apartment and the bills, everything get on top of you and you end up disappearing for a few days, sending everyone into a worried frenzy.

A/N: I’ve been wanting MORE Hoseok on tumblr, I can hardly find any and it makes me sad, so I took matters into my own hands. I SUCK AT WRITING SUMMARIES OKAY? IM SORRY!

Walking through the front door of your apartment you dropped your keys onto the small coffee table, kicked off your shoes and collapsed onto the grey fabric sofa, curling into a small ball and shutting your eyes for two minutes. You’d just gotten in from 8 am classes and you were exhausted but you knew you couldn’t rest for too long because you had work in an hour, another late shift at the bar down the road from your apartment, you forced your eyes open and looked at the clock above your fireplace, you had an hour before 5 pm, which meant you had to get a shower, do some homework, and then head to work, as well as facetime your boyfriend Hobi to tell him about your day but you knew you weren’t going to have enough time to do all of the above, so you sent him a small text.

Got to work a late shift tonight, I’ll call you when I’m home, have a nice practice. Love you my sunshine xoxo

You hit the send button and began getting ready for work, Hobi knew you were busy just like you knew he was busy a lot of the time so there was an understanding in your relationship if one of you didn’t have time to facetime, or call. You both knew you loved each other and would always be there when the other was ready. Your boyfriend of 2 years was currently away on a tour which meant you were home alone in your shared apartment until he came back, you didn’t mind you loved having time to yourself but it did mean you were in charge of all of the bills while he was away, you didn’t want to rely on him for money or to pay for everything when you knew you could do it yourself.

Hoseok stared at his phone, your text lighting up his face as he read it again and again, he knew you were busy with work and school, he understood that but this was the fourth time this week you’d blown him off for his morning facetime/ your afternoon facetime call, he felt hurt but he knew you were busy so he pushed the thoughts away and text you back.

Okay Princess, stay hydrated and get some rest, love you too xx

Hitting send he looked up at the ceiling in his hotel room, he was getting tired of waking up without you, he missed you a lot and you missed him too.

“Hobi!” You yelled excitedly when he answered the phone, it was 3 am your time and 4 pm his time, he frowned looking at you on the facetime call, your hair was in a messy ponytail, you were wearing one of his favourite shirts and dancing around your kitchen.

“Baby it’s 3 am, what are you doing awake?” You looked at the clock and then back to your boyfriend, still smiling away.

“I had some sleep but now I’m awake and can’t get back, so I thought I’d call you before your concert and talk to you.” You lied hiding the mug of coffee out of the camera’s view and smiling again, truth be told you hadn’t slept, you hadn’t been to sleep since the night before and you were running purely on coffee and energy drinks to keep you going, you’d been at the late shift and your boss kept you behind, making you clean up all the glasses and dishes that needed doing so you didn’t get home until 2 am, you saw no point in going to bed and started on your homework.

“I have homework to do this week, then mum wants me to get working on 200 cupcakes for my cousins birthday party that’s in one week, then I have to go to another shift later.” You said looking at him and then searching through the cupboards, you were writing a shopping list of ingredients you needed for the chocolate cupcakes.

“You need to rest, you can’t do all of this on your own.” He said with a sigh, you shook your head taking the phone to the kitchen table and showing him your already half-finished homework.

“Sure I can, I did some homework earlier, now I’m going to go to the 24-hour store and get ingredients, come back from classes and go to work, come home and bake.” You hadn’t noticed you were beginning to talk fast but Hoseok had, he noticed your teeth chattering too meaning you were on a caffeine high, he looked at you with sad eyes.

“Promise me, you’ll get some sleep.” You stared back at him and nodded, all the jumpiness in your body gone when you noticed how concerned he was for you.

“I promise, I’ll take a nap when I’m back from the store.” You whispered, sitting down in the chair and looking at him, he looked pretty tired too and you smiled.

“Promise me you’ll get some rest.” You mentioned, he smiled his big smile and nodded.

“I promise, I’ll nap after the concert.” You smiled at him and he chuckled, looking over at something behind him and sighing.

“I’ve got to go, I’ll text you. Love you.” You nodded at him.

“Love you too.”

The last facetime was a week ago, and he was starting to worry about you again, he worried anyway but now you weren’t calling him, or face timing him, you were giving him texts and barely any conversation to them. He figured you were busy with college work but he missed having his calls with you regularly and he missed how you would text him with strange dreams you had, but you’d been so rushed off your feet you hadn’t had the chance. You’d been picking up extra shifts at work, even on your half days at college you’d pick up a shift and do more work, homework was being done behind the bar when you were working, your boss didn’t mind of course but he was a little mad when you’d fallen asleep in the back of his office.

You were running off of 2-3 hours of sleep every day and you weren’t feeling the effect of it. It felt good, you felt like you had more time in the day for everything you needed to do, except, of course, message Hobi but you were studying for finals, working more and more to be able to pay for the apartment and then getting ready to bake for your family as well as keep the apartment spotless, it was tiring. You’d started to accidentally skip meal occasionally, you didn’t mean to, you were too busy working or studying to eat and when it was time to eat you just grabbed something quick, instant ramen, or a small sandwich so you would have time to eat and work.

“Namjoon?” You questioned answering the facetime call to your boyfriend’s bandmate, Joon was on the other end with a smile on his face.

“Hi Y/N, We were just wondering what you were planning for Hobi’s birthday, we wanted to surprise him but we didn’t know if you were going to do something.” You glanced over at the calendar, shit. It was his birthday in less than three weeks.

“Where are you going to be? On tour or back home?” You questioned grabbing a pen and writing down some notes on a post-it note to remind yourself you had to go shopping for him again, as well as pick up some more shifts if you were going to get him a good gift.

“Yeah, we’ll be back for his birthday.” You nodded looking at him, he was staring at you, one eyebrow raised and biting his lip

“You okay-” You cut him off.

“I’m fine, bring him home. I’ll bake a big cake, we could all have a meal together it’ll be nice.” Your giant smile on your face convinced him you were okay and he agreed, hanging up the phone and leaving you alone with your thoughts. It was currently 4 am, you had classes in two hours meaning you had time to call Hobi and ask about his tour.

You’d been on call for an hour, it felt good talking to your boyfriend again, you’d asked him about the tour, the sightseeing they’d been doing and he told you about all the small souvenirs he’d been collecting for you, an Eiffel tower keychain, a Vincent Van Gogh bookmark set, some pens from a giant stationery store in America and some other small bits.

“Hobi, you know you don’t have to do that.” You whined you hated it when he spent money on you, it had always been a thing in your mind, you hated when anyone spent money on you, not just him.

“You deserve it, baby, you’ve been working so hard.” You smiled at him, blushing as he stared at you with his big brown eyes, you giggled before noticing the time.

“I have to get ready for school, pick my outfit.” You yelled taking the camera from the kitchen table and heading up to the walk-in wardrobe.

You settled on some jeans and one his button-up shirts, the star one you’d gotten him the year before.

“I look fresh.” You said as you began buttoning up the shirt, Hoseok’s eyes fell onto your body, looking at you with a frown. You’d started to lose weight dramatically and he could tell.

“Are you…are you eating?” He questioned, worried about how you would take the question, you hummed in response, finishing the buttons and throwing your hair into a ponytail.

“Yeah,” You lied, you’d been forgetting to eat, it’s not like you were doing it on purpose, you didn’t want to worry him though.

“New exercise routine, been hitting the gym between classes.” He knew you were lying instantly, your left eye twitches when you lie and you avoid eye contact not only that but he knew you didn’t have time to work out between classes, he knew your schedule, but he didn’t want to mention it.

“Well…I’ll call you later tonight, love you.” You said quickly, ending the call before he could say anything else to you.

Later that night you got a notification that BTS were doing a VLive, you smiled logging into the app and opening it up, putting your phone on the kitchen counter as you began to bake, it was 2 am and you were getting a head start on the 200 cupcakes that needed baking for the next night, you’d taken some caffeine tablets to keep you awake as well as drinking coffee yet again. Your face lit up as you noticed it was Hobi doing the VLive on his own, having a meal and talking to fans. Mentioning the tour and talking about how he was sad it was almost over, you scanned through the comments some of them noticing how tired and worn out Hobi looked and you were agreeing with them in your head, he looked run down and worried about something.

“I’m fine guys, just worried about Y/N.” Your name rang through your ears and you dropped the spoon you’d been using into the bowl, the screen has your full undivided attention now.

“She’s just so busy with school work and work, work…you guys know how it is.” He chuckled, you looked down at the bowl and then back to the screen, taking in his full appearance, he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping either.

“Anyway, we’re here to talk about the tour.” He said trying to change the subject but questions were flooding in about you, fans knew about your relationship and they supported you both, you made Hobi happy and that’s all they really cared about.

Comments were flooding in and then your social media began to go off in the background, questions about you coming quickly. You turned off the VLive and then your phone, wanting to just get on with the cupcakes without any more distractions.

It had been three days since the VLive happened, three days since you handed over the 200 cupcakes to your auntie and then went back home to rest before college started. Hoseok was panicked, your phone was going straight to answering machine and the house phone was doing the same, Fans began to notice you were absent from social media and began freaking out for Hoseok,

Is Y/N okay?! Began trending on twitter but you didn’t know because you’d been in and out of sleep for the last three days, waking up for an hour, eating and going back to bed, your phone was still switched off in the kitchen and you’d not turned up for work or college for three days.

Finally, you got up and felt reenergized, but panic set in as you realised you were behind on everything, college work, your job and even missing calls with Hoseok, you grabbed your phone rushing out of the front door in nothing but a pair of jeans and a strappy tank top, heading into college first to explain where you’d been and how you could make up the time. Your professors understood and you were grateful for them, letting you catch up in your own time and taking work home with you, you rushed into the bathrooms of the college, splashing water into your face and looking at yourself in the mirror, you were a mess, your hair was in a messy bun, your eyes were swollen and red, and you looked as though you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, some girls came into the bathrooms and looked at you but you hadn’t noticed, you just washed your face again before leaving to go to work, to talk to your boss. If you’d noticed the girls you would have seen them taking photos of you and tweeting them out with the same hashtag that had been trending about you for days.

@BTSFANSUNITE: I found Y/N at college, is she okay!? Did Hobi and her fight? She looks worn out. I’m worried about her.

Attached were photos of you, leaning against the sink and leaving the bathroom, your phone clutched in your hand and yet still turned off. Fans began speculating that you and Hoseok had been fighting, some of the nastier ones claiming you’d cheated on Hoseok and were now feeling guilty about it, which was far from true. You never hurt the love of your life.

“I know I fucked up Wayne but I promise I’m fine, I just went a little overboard with college work and over tasks, I promise I’m loyal to this job.” You pleaded, your boss walking around tables, complaining that he had to do all of the extra shifts and lates you would normally be doing.

“You need to go home and rest, do you know how many people I’ve had come in here looking for you?! Teenage girls asking if I’d seen you.” He scoffed, he looked at you and then sighed.

“I told them you were fine Y/N…but you’re clearly not. This is too much for you and I don’t think I can have you working here anymore.” You began to tear up at the thought of losing your job, you needed it to be able to afford to live.

“Please Wayne, it’ll never happen again, I need this job.” You cried out, he sighed shaking his head at you.

“You’ve got one shot, but I’m giving you the rest of the weekend off, it’s Friday. Go home, rest and come back Monday.” He said looking back at his calendar.

“Think of it as your paid holiday.” You walked out of the bar and headed home, crashing onto the sofa and finally turning on your phone.

65 missed calls from Hobi, 34 missed facetime calls, over 100 messages and then there were the others, your mum had called, the rest of the band members had called you. Shit, shit shit, you hadn’t even thought about Hobi when you woke up, you felt worse when you got onto social media.

@GotNoJammmsss: Can’t believe Hobi is out here hardly sleeping while Y/N walks around as if nothing happened - Attached was a photo of you going into work

@HOBISMINE: Maybe Y/N was having a tough time…but Hobi is a state, he looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and Namjoon said in a VLive he’s really worried.

You wanted to cry, you were the worst girlfriend in the entire world, you dialled his number but it was going straight to voicemail, you tried Namjoon but it was doing the same thing, again with the rest of the boys. You began to try and hunt on social media for what they might have been doing, but there was no new news about them, the only recent thing was about you walking into work and coming out with tears in your eyes, nothing about the boys.

“Dawwy I think I fucked up.” You said down the phone as you looked around for your car keys, you were going to drive to BigHit’s studio and talk to Sejin, he would know what was happening with them but J-Hope’s sister, one of your best friends, was trying to get you to stay still for two minutes.

“I haven’t heard from you in three days and this is what you called to talk about? Your boyfriend?!” You sighed, finally letting the tears rush down your cheeks, you fell down onto your knees in the porch and began crying.

“I’m scared Dawwy, I’ve been so busy with work and college, then with the family baking and then I completely neglected him. I’m so tired.” You whimpered out, tears streaming down your cheeks as you finally let the words out.

“I’m so tired…I can’t keep up with everything, every time I get a hold of something, another thing kicks the stool out from under me and I’m back on the floor, trying to catch up again.” You heard her sigh from the other end of the phone and you leant your head back against the wall, you’d been struggling for so long and finally admitting it someone felt good, even if it was to your boyfriends sister, but she was your friend, your best friend, you’d known her longer than J-Hope.

“Get some rest, I’ll find out what’s going on and I’ll tell him you’re okay, just go and get some real food…some real sleep and try not to think about it too much…and call your mother.” She ordered, you hummed, wiping your eyes and hanging up the phone.

You tuned into an Instagram live that Da-Won was doing later that night, you were sitting on your sofa in some shorts, and a jumper that belonged to Hoseok.

“I just wanted to let everyone know that I spoke to Y/N…I don’t know if I’m allowed to share what she’s been going through but I’ll just say she’s exhausted that’s all and that’s all I’ll say on the matter.” You smiled at the screen and popped some popcorn into your mouth, you’d eaten a full meal earlier and were now snacking on something small.

“J-Hope isn’t cheating on her and she’s not cheating on him, they’re both truly tired and need some rest.” You clicked off the stream and went to dial Hobi’s number again but it was still off and going straight to voicemail.

“Hi Hobi…I know I worried you, I’m sorry…I just…it’s a long story. Call me when you get this…I love you.” You hung up and put the phone down onto the table, picking it up again two minutes later and dialling for Yoongi, answer phone.

“Can someone let me know what’s going on?! I know I scared Hobi but I didn’t mean to…someone tell me he’s okay! Dawwy says he’s fine but…I want to hear it from him…does he hate me? Yoongi call me or text me please.” You pleaded, hanging up and throwing the phone down on the table, going upstairs to get into bed, cuddling up to the Mang teddy you had.

You shivered in your sleep, groaning and trying to feel around for the covers but not finding them around you anymore.

“Hobi you did it again.” You whined out, turning over and playfully hitting Hobi in the back. Your eyes shot open, you sat up in bed looking at your sleeping boyfriend, why was he home so early? Did you simply dream everything? You’d know if you were dreaming, you poked his arms but he didn’t move.

“Hobi!” You yelled hitting his arms playfully trying to make him move, but he groaned pushing you off him as you continued to try and wake him up.

“When did you get home?!” You yelled you began crying again, tears rolling down your cheeks, your folded your arms across your chest, the tears were still going.

“I got home about an hour ago, the front door was unlocked and you were sleeping, I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.” He grumbled sitting up in the bed, as soon as he noticed you were crying he pulled you into his arms, his legs going either side of you and your back to his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned, referring to the fact that you were struggling to keep up with school work, and the bills.

“I could have helped pay for things, you know that.” You shook your head, not wanting to have this conversation but also knowing there was no real way to avoid it.

“I don’t want to have to rely on you Hobi, you’re my boyfriend not my bank account.” He laughed softly at you and sighed.

“You’re my girlfriend, this is our apartment even when I’m not here.” You leaned back against him, shaking your head and closing your eyes.

“I didn’t want to rely on you Hobi.” You repeated again to him, but he was shaking his head at you.

“From now on, we split the bills, you’re not allowed to overwork yourself, you take regular breaks from work and college and you eat properly.” He begged you nodded wrapping your pinky around his pink, a pinky promise.

“You’re not mad at me?” You whimpered, he shook his head, closing his eyes and leaning his head into your neck.

“I could never be mad at you.” He whispered leaving small kisses over your neck and cheeks, you giggled a little and he wiped the tears away from your eyes.

“I heard you have the weekend off.” He chuckled, laying down, putting you beside him and spooning you, you hummed in response, too tired to form actual sentences.

“Good, we’re going to rest up all weekend, and not leave the house.” He began to pat your arms gently, as he always did whenever you’d fall asleep together, you hummed again in response and he placed a small kiss on the bottom of your neck.

“Goodnight Y/N, I’ll be right here when you wake up I promise.” You snuggled back against him and smiled in your sleepy state.

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leavetwn · 3 years

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* AMANDA CAMPANA, NOBINARY + SHE/HER/THEY/THEM | you know RAMONA GALLO, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, TWENTY-THREE YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to CRYING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR BY MUNA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole COLD PIZZA AS A HANGOVER CURE, TALKING SHIT ABOUT CUSTOMERS IN THE BREAKROOM, LONGING FOR WHAT COULD'VE BEEN, thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 17TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

HEY , BESTIES ! happy new year (the way it’s 11:55pm here so barely) !! my name’s claire and i’m 22. i’m livin in the est timezone, and my pronouns are she/her. i’m bringing y’all a mess of a muse 😈 because well ,,, it’s what i’m best at. if you’re feelin ramona & wanna plot, just go ahead and like this & i’ll hit you up. i usually plot on discord, but if you prefer the tumblr ims, that’s no problem at all. anyway, lemme stop waistin time and get to introducing you to ramona. * tw: mentions of cheating & alcohol.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: ramona gallo. nickname(s): anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-three. date of birth: august 17th. zodiac sign: leo. gender/pronouns: non-binary, she/her/they/them. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: irving, north carolina. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: employee at zoinkies currently, a lifeguard during the summer. eye color: brown. hair color/style: had long hair up until her breakup then had one of those breakdowns and cut her own hair into a bob and then her own bangs. i bet it was a mess lol so she probably called her friends or went to a salon the very next day to get it fixed. also highlighted the ends red but her natural color is brown. height : 5′5″. clothing style: simple and comfortable. t-shirts, croptops, turtlenecks, all usually paired with either jean shorts or jeans in general. she prefers to feel cozy rather than cute. tattoos: yes. a small one on her wrist. wants more eventually. piercings: both ears peirced & a navel piercing that she did herself against better judgement lol.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

you were born on a scorching hot day in irving , your father says so, anyway. you’re convinced he’s being dramatic. your birth went smoothly; after two previous children, your parents had become disillusioned by childbirth. just another one to add to the bunch, and one that was meant to save a dying marriage. still, they loved you nonetheless. your father, to this day. your mother, until you were ten, and then she up and left without a warning.

your father keeps food on the table by fixing cars. you spend your days in the hot sun watching him replace parts and continuously try to crank vehicles until they run. he fist pumps every time one does. ‘ how lame, ’ you think, but it’s inspiring how hard he works to take care of three kids. and he does a good job.

therefore , you spend much of your early life trying to make him proud. you’re smart as a whip, and all your teachers have good things to say about you when it comes to academics. you’re a bit of a troublemaker, though. your father doesn’t mind that too much; he was the same at your age. and he’s proud — proud to see you work so hard.

you spend your teenage years doing much of the same. though , you begin to come home a bit later than usual, and your excuse is that you’ve been at ashley’s or samantha’s, but really all three of you were out partying. you don’t think your father would care (your grades are fine & he wants you to live like a normal teenager) , but you still lie about it. why ? well, who knows, maybe you like the adrenaline rush it gives you. like most things, you do them for the thrill.

you join the swim team. you’re kind of bad , but that’s okay. just like always , you work hard, and you realize that you’re kind of a natural. your father cheers louder than anyone else in the stands. it pushes you to do better. with your good grades and athletics , your guidance counselor tells you you’re a shoo in for a scholarship from whatever university you want. you apply to several. if it’s one thing you hate, its this town. you can’t wait to make it out, and you figure, this might be your only way.

you’re eighteen, and you’re in love. it’s crazy how love can make you see things differently. suddenly , this town doesn’t seem half bad. all your friends find it cute , and you tell them everything. the things he tells you or the way he makes you feel. it’s a crazy feeling; you never want it to end.

you throw your cap in the air. finally , high school is over. college is looming. you’ve been accepted to several & received scholarships from at least a few. you lie in bed thinking about it. now, you suddenly don’t want to leave so bad. don’t want to leave him behind. how could someone leave another they love so easily? it makes you hate your mother more.

for the first time, you disappoint your father. you don’t go to college. you don’t give a damn. you want to stay where love is. you’re addicted to the feeling. this lasts for three years. now, you’re twenty-one; you’ve gotten a job at zoinkies, and that keeps you away for most of the day. you randomly decide to visit your boyfriend during a lunch break one day. you find him in bed with someone else. suddenly , you realize love isn’t as addicting as you once thought. what once made the world beautiful now made it hideous. what once made you feel so high had somehow made you feel so low. it was horrible, and you’d realized your mistakes.

you threw away your future for love. something as rotten and twisted as love. something you swore you’d never let yourself feel again. something that you put away in a locked box with no key. irving was the same place you’d always known it to be. boring, drab, familiar. at least you had your family. that was barely enough to keep you sane, though, and it was hard to feel normal.

you turned to the thing that help. alcohol, partying, any escape at all. you lacked coping skills — that much was clear, but you didn’t care. you blamed it on something else entirely. just as your teachers had said, you’re a bit of a troublemaker. you do anything to make yourself feel alive, to make yourself feel free of the hurt.

it’s two years later now. you’re still not over it in some ways, as regret turns to anger and resentment. you’re bitter. who wouldn’t be? but you feel like you’ve had time to mourn. maybe it’s because you never acknowledged it in the way you should’ve ( it’s still locked away in that box. ) you still have your bad habits. you still work at your stupid job that you hate. you’re lost, but you’ll figure it out. you always do. so, you continue to float , seemingly stuck in the town that you never let go of, and you wonder what comes next. only time will tell.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

still swims but doesn’t have as much time for it. probably not as good, but since she spends the summer lifeguarding, she uses that time to practice & try to get back to where she was. also kinda jaded asf so even if she says she wants to get back into it, she probably won’t lmaoo.

is a horrible driver. how did she get a license ?? not even she knows. def the type to like have a leg up on the dash board, hand out the window, and only one hand on the wheel while speedin idk how she makes it out alive

can take a car apart and put it back together again thanks to her dad. also changes her own tires so let her change your tires. im just sayin

stays up way too late & would sleep until 2 pm everyday if she didn’t have to work. should probably work on being an adult and going to bed at a normal time but just half the time doesn’t give a fuck so she’s probably sleep deprived a lot. therefore also has a

character parallels: alice ayres/jane jones (closer, 2004) , clementine (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 2004) , fiona gallagher (shameless, 2011-present) , more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

ok but plots really do be making my world go ‘round. 😳 i love em, so literally hmu with anything you’re feeling, and i’ll be down. just wanna plot & write with everyone 💕 but here’s a couple of wanted connections for y’all. i’ll prolly have a most wanted tag sooner or later & i’ma be make a plot page soon.

* the unholy trinity — these two are the friends she cherishes most. i’m assuming they’ve been friends since at least early high school , maybe earlier. they went through a lot together. these two were with her through all her relationship troubles. true ride or dies. she’s do absolutely anything for them, and she trusts that they feel the same way. they’re rowdy & wild, do whatever they want, and have a damn good time doin it. also have a gc where they just talk shit and send tiktoks idk just gimme this plsss 🥺

* friends with benefits / one night stands — this would probably be the extent of ramona. clearly not over what happened to her the last time 😭, so she’d have plenty of these tbh. she probably wouldn’t think too much about it, but it could be awkward for you muse maybe, etc.

* unrequited love / crush — here’s a toast to the ones who crush on ramona. it would be an absolute tragedy lmaoo. she’s not really mean about it, but she is 100% certain she’s not looking for any type of relationship. could be really dramatic and messy and those are tha best kind. literally this

* former friends / enemies — she’s lived here her whole life, so she’s at least got one. these two just don’t get along/no longer get along for whatever reason that can be plotted out.

* coworkers — she works zoinkies throughout the year and picks up shifts as a lifeguard during the summer so your muses could know her from that. could delve into a close friend territory too lmao. they probably just sit in break rooms and talk about rude customers or bossy managers lmaooo.

* literally anything your heart desires — a lot could work. we could even just start from nowhere & have them meet for the first time if they’re newer/just to town.

#irvingintro #tw alcohol #tw cheating #it is so sick & twisted that i have another one to write i can't believe lol #but it must be done #hi luv me plot with me

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midnightash · 4 years

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Better Man // College!luke hemmings AU

Pairing: Luke x Y/N

Words: 1k

Warnings: None

Summary/notes: College roommate Luke, finally decides to tell you his feelings for you, not knowing you have felt the same towards him.

Authors notes: Im not sure if I love this one but I got given the idea so I decided to write it because why not, if you have any requests or wanna say hey my inbox is always open and I appreciate any messages or requests!🖤

———————

"Ashton I'm telling you it won't happen" you sigh. You were currently talking to your best friend Ashton over the phone, telling him about your feelings for your roommate Luke. You has been laying in that same spot on the bed for what seemed like hours now just talking to ashton.

You were wearing one of Lukes hoodies that you stole from his closer, but he never seemed to mind. You had huge feelings for Luke but never thought he would feel the same. To you he seemed so far out of your league but Ashton was trying to convince you otherwise.

It hurt you to think about how Luke could date people so much prettier than you, which is why you chose not to tell him your feelings. It would hurt you mentally to have to hear Luke tell you how he wasn't interested because to you, you weren't as pretty as others when in reality to Luke and practically everybody around you, you were stunning.

"All i'm saying is you need to tell him how you feel" Ashton said with a small sigh. He felt so terrible that you even felt this upset over Luke because Ashton knew you were an amazing person who Luke would definitely be glad to date. "I know it may be hard but you have to I promise it'll go well".

"I don't want to" you say in almost a whisper, trying to not let tears fall. "Why not?" Ashton said with a small frown though you couldn't see it because you guys were just on a phone call.

"I don't want to know what he has to say because I doubt he feels the same" you say letting a few tears fall. "How about I come over and we watch movies or something to get your mind off it?" Ashton suggests. His heart honestly broke to hear you say these things about yourself. You were his best friend and Ashton knew you were so much more than what you thought of yourself as.

"Okay" you say thankful for Ashton being the best, bestfriend you could ever ask for. A few hours later, after Ashton had left, you were getting ready for bed, slipping on a pair of sweatpants, still wearing Lukes hoodie.

You figured Luke wouldn't be home until way later because he was at some party and you figured he probably wouldn't be sober after it either so there was no point in staying up. But, you soon heard the front door open and in came a completely sober Luke which was also surprising.

"Hi Luke" you say, about to walk back to your room but Luke stops you. "I uhm.. I was wondering if tomorrow we could talk about something" Luke says looking down nervously. As soon as he said that you became extremely nervous. You always got super nervous around Luke.

"Thats okay is everything okay?" You ask, feeling nervous yourself about not knowing what he wants to talk about tomorrow. Luke gives you a small nod, walking into his room making you sigh and walk into yours.

That night you couldn't fall asleep. You were too nervous. You always got nervous around Luke especially him wanting to have a talk with you. "What could that mean?" You thought to yourself.

All you could do is lay in the dark staring at the ceiling, only hearing the soft sound of the quiet music you were playing to help you sleep. It seemed as if nothing was able to help you sleep but it was nothing new to you as you had this problem all the time and not much helped.

Eventually you fell asleep without yourself noticing until you soon woke up in the morning with the sun shining into your room. You let out a small yawn as you stood up from your extremely comfortable bed. Once you stand up you grab a blanket to wrap around yourself finding it was extremely cold.

Once you get ready for the morning you finally decide to walk out of your room, seeing Luke sitting in the kitchen. "Morning" you say yawning again.

"I have to talk to you" Luke says, starting to blush looking down. "I-I really like you.. and I know you probably don't like me and thats fine but it's so hard to keep it to myself especially when you look so beautiful always, and always wear my clothes making me wish you were mine".

"Luke" you say, moving to sit next to him. "I know you probably don't like me and I probably ruined everything" Luke says shaking his head.

"No not at all you aren't listening to me.. I like you too Luke" You say looking down. "You do?" Luke says, finally looking up, as you do too. "I want to be yours.. like you said" you mumble about to look away, but Luke gently grabs your chin making you stay looking at him.

Luke gives you a soft smile, easing your nerves a bit. Both of you have wanted this for the longest time but never confessed your love for eachother.

“On that note..” Luke starts to say but pauses, taking a deep breath. “Yeah?” You say waiting to hear what he has to say. If you had to be honest seeing Luke this shy and blushing was absolutely adorable to you. You had only seen him this nervous before preforming but you honestly loved how adorable he looked.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Luke finishes. “Of course” you say smiling and leaning forward to hug him. He wrapped his arms around you placing his head on your shoulder. You absolutely loved being in his embrace, feeling this close to him.

“You know you’re adorable when you’re nervous?” You say with a small giggle, making Luke blush more and laugh with you. “Is that so?” He asks and you nod smiling. That night you guys practically spent the whole night together watching movies just happy that you were able to confess your feelings and just knowing how happy Ashton will be when he finds out too.

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verstappenist · 4 years

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Little Tiger | Joe Mazzello

A/n: Basically, College!Joe and his gf getting a kitten! Because i found this gem and got soft! Also the ending seems so rushed? im sorry for that!

Word count: 1,277

Warnings: none, just fluff and bad writing!

When you met Joe in that little coffee shop right off campus, your life got flipped by 180°. In a good way though, very good way.

You were confused at first what a New Yorker was doing in LA but the longer you talked and the more you found out about him, the happier you were he decided to go to university on the other side of the country.

After the accidental run-in, followed a coffee date the next day, which was the only the first of many more to come.

Three and a half years into the relationship, the two of you were just as in love with each other as on the very first day. You moved in together about nine months into the relationship, after deciding it would be beneficial in many ways, you could save a lot of money and you'd be able to spend more time together.

"Okay, what do you think about getting a pet?"

To say the question surprised him was an understatement, he nearly fell off the couch. “Y-You wanna get a pet with me?”

“I mean… if you want to? It’s just, you know we’ve been together for so long a-and we love each other, right? And I don’t think, well I hope we’re not breaking up any time soon, because again I love you and I see us still together in ten years... maybe have kids together- but we’re still a tad too young for that, that’s why I was thinking we could maybe get a little kitten or something?”

Your little speech alone was enough to convince Joe to get a kitten, not that it would've been hard anyways. He always wanted a cat and you had a point, you loved each other dearly, and were in a serious relationship for over three years now. While you were still working on your masters degree in economics, Joe was already done with school, currently doing some acting jobs around LA, so someone was always home to look after one, to stay with it etc.

"Okay, let's get a cat!"

Unable to contain your happiness you jumped into his arms, peppering his face with tiny butterfly kisses. "Did I ever tell you that you're the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world and that I love you?"

"Eh just about a thousand times today, but one more doesn't hurt either of us", the auburn haired young boy smiled, kissing you properly. "If you want we can go to the shelter first thing tomorrow okay?"

Nodding excitedly you turned off the TV, practically dragging your boyfriend into your shared bedroom. You really were acting like a little girl on christmas eve, unable to wait until morning, but he would be lying if he'd say he's not excited himself.

When Joe woke up next morning, your side of the bed was long cold, making him wonder if you already left for the shelter on your own. But you wouldn’t right?

After a few more minutes of savouring the warmth of the bed, Joe finally decided to investigate. The auburn haired man didn’t need to search for long though. He found you sprawled out on the couch, laptop on your lap and a notebook in hand furiously writing stuff down.

“Good morning, Princess. What are you doing?”, his voice still groggy from just waking up with a confused undertone.

“Morning, Joey! I’m just writing down what else we need for our baby!”

“How ‘bout you tell me what we need while i make some breakfast for the two of us? How do pancakes sound?”

“Yeah sure, whatever?” Chuckling at your disinterest he placed a tender kiss to your cheek, before proceeding into the kitchen. “Wait, Joey! What if we get something to eat on our way to the shelter?”

Suddenly standing in the kitchen next to him startled your boyfriend, nearly causing him to drop the pan because of it. "Y-Yeah sure, just, don't sneak up to me again? Ever? Especially not with a pan in hand? Please?”

You really must’ve scared the boy.

“Would please get ready? We got to go!”, you urged your boyfriend whilst getting ready yourself.

Not even five minutes later you were in the car on your way to the café the two of you met nearly four years ago.

Neither of you were particularly hungry, well you were but, the excitement… so you kept breakfast short.

Next stop was the Petco in downtown LA, where you got everything the kitten will need. At one point you were even sure you had lost Joe somewhere while looking for a cat tree. You spent about an hour getting various things such as food and water bowls, a bed, litter box, toys and grooming tools for the kitten, etc. before you had everything.

The last stop was the shelter. Finally.

As soon as you were inside the building you dragged your boyfriend to the cats in the far back. Joe was overwhelmed, seeing all the small kitten and grown cats in cages, he wanted to adopt them all. Every single one of them. Well that was until one of the older ones reached out for him, claws out.

The look of pure horror on his face made you laugh, “Are you scared of this cutie?”

“Pfft no. I have this terrified look on my face because of all the fun I’m having!”

Still laughing you walked over to the little ones, looking at the playing bunch. One stood out the most to you. It was smaller than the others, with big green eyes and grey, black white and brown fur. It felt just like when you met Joe for the first time, love at first sight.

“Joey! Come look at this one! Can we- please?”, you called out to him, not letting the little ball of fur out of sight.

He was by your side immediately, looking at it as well. His expression matched yours, pure adoration for the little creature, “Yes. That’s the one.”

It looked just like a little tiger, just different colours, but there was something so wild behind it’s eyes you almost thought it was.

One of the volunteers nearby overheard you talking and was more than happy that one of them found a new loving home. She got the one you wanted, informing you that it’s a he and that she’ll let you have some time with him while getting all his papers ready.

“We need a name”, stated your boyfriend white petting the kitten, scratching behind his ears.

Joe really did not want to leave the kitten, pretty sure now after not even five minutes he loved the little one more than he loves you - but you can’t hold it against him - so it was you who needed to get all the paperwork done and eventually drive you back to your apartment.

The two of you were playing with the little one for most of the day, only stopping to try and teach him how to use the litter box and for Joe to explain in which rooms he was allowed to go into and which ones are taboo.

Later in the evening the three of you were cuddled up on the couch, watching whatever was on TV. “We still don’t have a name for him”, you smiled softly at the purring kitten in your lap.

“I like Jeff.”

“As in Jeff Goldblum?”

“Yup! If you want?”

“Can we name it Jeff Murphy? Because you were just the cutest in that movie! Like this little fella”, you grinned at your boyfriend, noticing the slight blush covering his cheeks.

“Jeff Murphy it is!”

Tag list: @anotheronebitestheskye @queenlover05 @feltsonmarauders

(If you want to be added to my taglist just send me an ask or a message!)

#joe mazello #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello x fem!reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello x you #greta writes

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cluttermind · 4 years

Text

Without A Parachute (7/15) - Silver, Gold, and Secrets

Summary: Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M

Words: 31,139 total / 6,952 Ch 7

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

A/N: Sorry again for the inconsistent posting schedule! I'm trying so hard to stay on track. Here's a LONG chapter with a whole lot happening to make up for it :) Enjoy some fluff, plot, and smut!

Also the formatting is better on ao3 so I’d recommend reading there :)

I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow

Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows

One for sorrow

Two for joy

Three for girls and four for boys

Five for silver

Six for gold and

Seven for a secret never to be told

- Counting Crows, Murder of One

Cold, Emma rolled over to snuggle closer to Killian. Instead she rolled flat onto her stomach. She blindly reached out, slapping the empty mattress next to her trying to find him. Groaning when she concluded he wasn’t next to her, Emma rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, checking the clock next to her. 9:30 am . Sighing, she dragged herself out of bed and made her way downstairs. Halfway down the stairs she spotted Killian in the kitchen. His phone was in his hand. His ear buds were in. And he was dancing . Like an idiot. In boxers and a t-shirt. His hair still messy from bed. God, he was awful. But fuck he was sexy.

He clearly didn’t notice her because he didn’t stop, only slowed a bit to fill the coffee maker with water. So Emma snuck up behind him and joined his ridiculous dancing. Eventually he turned around, saw her, and broke out into a fit of laughter.

“What’re we dancing to?” Emma yelled so he could hear her over his music. It was so loud she could hear it faintly from where she was in front of him. In response, Killian connected his phone to the bluetooth speaker on the counter and blasted Your Such A Mystery by Bleachers.

To anyone on the outside of their bubble they looked ridiculous. To Emma, it looked like what love should be. Or, at least, what she had always imagined it to be. Jumping around the kitchen at 9:30 in the morning in their pajamas, everything felt comfortable and wonderful. Maybe it was the endorphins talking but she felt like she was on cloud nine. And when Killian pulled her close to him to kiss her passionately, she believed that this must be the high people tried to chase with drugs. Who needs drugs when they have a Killian?

When the song ended, Killian pulled back. “Coffee, love?”

“That depends. It’s not the same crap you have at the pub, is it?” Emma teased. Killian lowered the music so they didn’t have to scream to have a conversation when they were standing in each other's personal space.

He chuckled. “I promise it’s not. It’s local and it’s sweet. You’ll like it.” Killian poured them each a mug of coffee. He was right, she did like it. There was a hit of chocolate that did, in fact, make the bitter drink a little sweeter. She hummed softly, enjoying the comfort of the warm mug in her hand as the coffee started to bring her back to reality.

“What is it?”

“Ithaca House Blend from Ithaca Coffee Company. It’s fair trade and organic.” He explained, taking a sip from his mug.

“Why don’t you serve this at the Jolly?”

“Because it’s not cheap and I spend money on alcohol. You and maybe 2 other people have ever ordered coffee there.”

“Maybe that’s because they know you serve shit coffee.”

Killian chuckled. “Maybe.” Emma hopped up to sit on the island while Killian leaned back against the counter across from her. They drank their coffee for a moment in comfortable silence, listening to the music coming softly through the speaker on the counter. “How are you this morning?” He asked, tentatively. Concern blanketed his words, silently asking whether he hurt her, whether she regretted it, whether she enjoyed it. He was familiar with the buzz that an orgasm left him in and the way it sometimes, or more recently the way it often, faded the following morning. That morning, however, he woke up happier than he had ever been. Killian, who was much more of a night owl than an early bird, nearly sprung out of bed dancing while he replayed every glorious moment of the previous night a little too graphically according to a certain part of him that was more awake than the rest of him. That’s how he ended up dancing alone in his kitchen. Partially because he was happy, partially because he needed to work off the stress that started to settle in his stomach when he remembered the countless nights he regretted the morning after and wondered if that was how Emma would feel.

Emma knew. She knew exactly what he was asking when he spoke. “Cold. I did wake up alone while someone was having a dance party without me.”

Killian chuckled, set his mug down and moved to wrap his arms around her. Emma’s legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his neck. “Better?”

“Much,” she said, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.

“I have to pick up a few things from my apartment today and I assume you need some things from yours. I thought we could get that out of the way this morning, binge some Netflix or break out the DVD collection,” Killian’s voice dropped, “maybe jump in the hottub later?”

Emma sighed, heat pooling in her belly. “That sounds wonderful.”

They finished their coffee and made their way upstairs to get dressed during which Killian spent more time staring at Emma than actually pulling his own clothing on and Emma spent more time staring at Killian than actually pulling on her clothes and if it wasn’t for that lingering, delicious, ache between her legs reminding her of the previous night’s activity there likely would’ve been a repeat.

“Later,” Emma purred as she walked past him and out of the bedroom carrying her bag with her. Like a puppy, he followed her, hanging on each syllable that fell from her mouth.

They hopped in Killian’s car and drove back to Collegetown. In the daylight, the view from their drive was wonderful. Half the way back Emma could see the lake. She let her mind drift as she stared off into the distance, Killian tuning the radio to the local college modern rock station - WICB 91.7 FM. Emma’s eyes drifted to sleep from the soft vibrations of the car. Unfortunately her nap, which was more like sleep part 2 considering she had only been up for about an hour, was quickly interrupted by Killian gently shaking her shoulder. He had parked right outside the Jolly Roger.

“Swan, wake up, love.” He placed a kiss to her temple as if he was bribing her to open her eyes.

“Five more minutes,” Emma grumbled.

“You can go right back to sleep when we get back to the house but right now I need you to pack.” Emma groaned, refusing to open her eyes. “Or else.” Killain smirked

“Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll withhold sex from you all week.” He toyed.

Emma opened her eyes for the sole purpose of glaring at him. If looks could kill, Killian surely would’ve been dead in that moment. Then she closed her eyes again. “Okay goodnight.”

Killian scoffed. “Fine. Then I won’t buy you breakfast.”

Emma’s ears perked up and she instantly opened her eyes. “CTB?”

“If I say yes will you please go pack?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

Emma jumped out of the car, slamming the door a little too hard in her excitement. Killian mentally noted that she was significantly more food motivated than sex motivated and went to his apartment to pack his own things.

In her bedroom Emma stared at the handful of clothes she owned. She grabbed a few pairs of jeans and leggings and a pair of sweatpants, her favorite Cornell sweatshirt and long sleeve (which together may as well have cost her an entire week's pay), a nicer sweater, and some long sleeves. Remembering that Killian mentioned a hot tub, she tossed in the simple black bikini that Elsa made her buy back in September when the weather was still nice enough to go gorge jumping. But when it came to lingerie, Emma was stuck.

Emma Swan: When you’re back we need to go shopping.

Elsa Agnarr: FINALLY!

Elsa Agnarr: where?

Emma Swan: That mall in Syracuse you always try to get me to take you to?

Elsa Agnarr: really?! i mean im not complaining ;) why the sudden desire to take a shopping trip?

Emma Swan: Oh nothing. I just need some new bras.

Elsa Agnarr: and you felt the need to text me a week in advance to plan a shopping trip for just some new bras…

Emma Swan: I slept with Killian.

Emma’s phone rang and Elsa started speaking the second she answered the FaceTime call. “You did what?”

“I told you.”

“Were you safe?!”

“Elsa!” They laughed. They were the cautious two of the group, nearly mothering over August and Robin whenever they could. Of course Emma was safe.

“Was it good?”

“Oh my god.” Emma blushed furiously.

“Oooooo I knew he’d be good in bed.”

“Elsa!”

“Oh come on! Even though we don’t play for the same team, anyone with eyes would bet that Killian Jones is good in bed.”

Emma sighed, an unfamiliar green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head in Emma’s mind. “Don’t remind me.”

“So are you guys together?”

“I don’t know.” Emma admitted. She wanted to be. To call Killian Jones hers? That’s a dream Emma hadn’t allowed herself to have. No matter what, Killian had been there for her. To lose that, to lose her friend if none of this worked out, might kill her. He deserved someone better, someone less damaged . And the familiar spiral began tightening in her mind.

“Don’t overthink this Em. You deserve to be happy and he clearly makes you happy. I see the way you smile every time his name pops up on your phone.”

“I just don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“I think you ruined what you had when you slept with him. There’s no going back from that. You need to talk to him.”

“I know.”

“Elsa! Elsa!” Emma heard a familiar voice shouting on the other end of the line. Elsa giggled.

“Sorry I have to go. Anna’s been forcing me to help her make some pro/con lists for the college’s she’s been accepted to.”

“Well she can’t go to Harvard. That’s a given.”

“Can’t go to Penn either.”

“Guess it just has to be Cornell.”

“ Far above Cayuga’s waters - ” Elsa started singing loudly so Anna could hear the alma mater every Cornell student knew by heart by the end of their first semester.

“ With it’s waves of blue-” Emma joined in. “ Stands our noble Alma Mater, glorious to view. LIFT the chorus, speed it onward, loud her praises tell, hail to thee our Alma Mater - ”

In the background Anna groaned. “Not again.”

“ HAIL, ALL HAIL, CORNELL! ” They screamed, bursting out laughing.

“I’m going to Harvard if you don’t stop.” Anna threatened.

“No you’re not.” Elsa turned her attention back to Emma. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Talk to you later.” They hung up. Emma’s lingerie problem, however, will have to wait another week. She shoved the nicest things she owned into the duffle bag she packed, stuffed her laptop and her journal into her backpack, and finally left her apartment to meet Killian at the car.

He was sitting against the edge of his open trunk, reading something on his phone when she reached him.

“Reading anything interesting?” She asked to get his attention.

“Nope. Just doing some online shopping, love.” Killian kissed her cheek as he took her bag from her and placed it in the trunk. He had a black backpack and his guitar secured in its case. “Breakfast?”

“Please.” Emma was starving and entirely unprepared for the way he took her hand in his after he closed the trunk of his car, nonchalantly, as if this was their normal, their comfortable, their them .

They walked to CollegeTown Bagels, their joined hands swinging gently between them. When they arrived, they got on line as Killian told her a story about one Summer he spent with his grandparents as a kid. His thumb rubbed softly over the back of her hand, engrossed in his own story. Emma, however, wasn't paying any attention.

At the front of the cafe, there was a brunette, a ghost from Emma’s past. Or, at least, she looked like a ghost from Emma’s past. Emma couldn’t quite make out the girl’s face. She was looking down at her phone, her hair blocking Emma’s view. Suddenly her past was flashing before her eyes, unfolding like a horror story where the victim runs into the house and the audience screams stop. But there’s no stopping the spiral Emma’s mind falls into.

A security guard was at the end of the aisle, clearly noticing the PopTart box Emma was shoving under her sweatshirt. The guard cleared her throat when Emma noticed her.

“Are you going to pay for that miss?”

Emma was panicking. She couldn’t pay for it. She didn’t have money. All she had were a few hand-me-down clothes in a backpack and a bruise on her cheek from her last foster home she was trying to escape from.

Thankfully, a brunette around her age came to stand beside her and held up a credit card. “Yes, ma’am. Our Dad’s in the car just outside.” The guard nodded and left them to be. The girl turned to Emma. “The key is swiping one of these.”

Emma nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’m just like you, you know. Trying to get away. I’m Lilly.”

Emma’s grip on Killian’s hand tightened like a vice grip.

“Swan?” KIllian asked, concern blanketing his voice. “Are you alright, love?

But Emma didn’t hear a word he said.

Emma and Lilly shopped for a bit. They became fast friends. When they checked out and left, however, a car not too far away started honking and driving after them. Emma figured this was the man Lilly swiped the card from. So they ran.

They lost the car and Lilly led her to a beautiful lake house that was empty for the season. And they promised to be friends forever, no matter what. Emma told her everything about her life, about moving between foster homes, about the abusive man that ran the last group home she was in, about how alone she felt all the time.

And Lilly pretended to understand. Because, in fact, Lilly couldn’t truly understand what Emma was going through. Because when they were caught later that night, it was Lilly’s father who caught them. Because this was Lilly’s family’s summer home.

Killian’s hand was starting to hurt under Emma’s grasp. It was their turn to place their order and Killian stepped up to the register, taking Emma with him.

The brunette looked up when she stood to throw away her empty coffee cup. It had to be Lilly. But what was she doing in Ithaca? Emma nearly started hyperventilating, wanting to call out to her but being unable to find her voice.

“Swan, what do you want for breakfast?”

Emma watched the girl she assumed to be Lilly leave. “I’m actually not hungry anymore. I think I’ll just meet you outside,” She said, without turning to look at him. Emma let go of Killian’s hand and dashed out of the cafe.

There was already distance between them. Emma just stood there, shocked. She didn’t know what to say or whether to say anything or whether Lilly still hated her. And even though Emma was standing alone, now nowhere near Lilly, she was working herself up to a panic attack. Her entire body was shaking. Killian followed shortly after.

“Emma?” He quickly noticed her panicked state and pulled her into his arms, placing a comforting kiss to her forehead. “Come on, love. Let’s go.”

***

Back at the house, Killian made tea for Emma and opened a package of PopTarts to put on a plate. From the kitchen he felt the weight of Emma’s thoughts, but she hadn’t said a word to him since the cafe. Something happened there, but he couldn’t figure out what. Was it him? Was it another guy? Was she having second thoughts? Was she starting to regret what they did? Was she starting to regret what they were, what they had become, what was so strong between them?

She was curled up on the couch, staring at the TV which was turned to the local news channel. It was Ithaca. It was grey, cold, probably some form of precipitation was expected at some point in the day, some local business was probably doing something for charity, the university students were probably protesting or petitioning something, and there was probably news about music or theatrical performances. Every now and again something major happened at one of the colleges and that was actually newsworthy. All of this to say that if you need something mindless to watch, local news in central New York was the place to turn.

Killian brought the tea and plate over to Emma who graciously accepted the mug but ignored the plate. Killian sat next to her, keeping some distance between them in case he was the reason she was upset. “Talk to me, love,” he urged her, gently.

Emma took a sip of tea. “It’s nothing, Killian.”

“Swan, you’re clearly upset about something. You’re an open book to me.” He sighed. “Did I do something? Do you regret last night?”

Emma looked at him, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. “What?! No! Killian, no.” She set the mug down and laid down, resting her head in his lap. He stroked her hair, playing with his softly. Instantly she felt relaxed, her heart fluttering slightly, her entire body tingling in bliss from the feeling of Killian’s fingers running through her hair.

“You know you can tell me anything, love.”

Emma sighed. “I thought I saw an old friend. I guess she’s more like a former friend. I’m not really sure anymore, to be honest.” Killian stopped his motions and looked at her. “Don’t stop,” Emma nearly whimpered.

Killian chuckled and resumed playing with Emma’s hair. “What happened?”

“Lilly and I met when she saved my ass while I was trying to steal PopTarts from a convenience store.”

“Ah the shoplifting PopTarts story.”

Emma looked up at him. “You remember that?”

Killian blushed. “Aye.”

Emma could’ve kissed him senseless in that moment. Finally, for what felt like the first time in her life, someone genuinely listened to her. And this wasn’t the first time Emma had this realization about Killian. She noticed every time he heard her answers to how her day was. She noticed every time she ranted about school or told him what she learned. But something about this time meant a little more to her.

“Yeah. The shoplifting PopTarts story. Anyway, she made me feel like she was like me. Like she was also a foster kid, bouncing around from home to home. It was a particularly bad time. I was running away from a home that didn’t treat any of the kids right. There was always a reason for the guy running it to hit us, always something we did wrong, something we did to aggravate him. So I ran and I was hungry and I was about to get caught and Lilly stepped in with a credit card and said that our dad was waiting for us outside. She told me she swiped the card from some stranger, that she was also running from the system and brought me to this empty lake house which, by the way, was her family’s lake house because she wasn’t running from the system because she was never in the system and she tricked me into thinking she understood but she couldn’t understand. No one could understand what it’s like to constantly be running as a child, to not have a home, to sometimes have a roof over your head but never be at peace and never feel safe. No one could understand what it’s like to want to get the fuck out so fucking bad that you spend two and a half years living in a car you worked overtime to be able to buy just to have consistency in your fucking transcript so ivy leagues don’t immediately reject you. No one could understand unless they fucking experienced it.”

Emma was screaming by the time she finished. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she bared part of her soul to a man she realized she didn’t want to live without, a man that made her feel loved and at peace and at home, a man who would stand so fiercely beside her through anything life threw at her.

And in that same moment of realization for Emma, Killian fell in love with her.

“Emma . . .” Killian whispered, silently making promises to himself that he dared not speak out loud for fear that she’d run from the sheer intensity of the way he felt for her. No longer would he ever allow her to be hit or hurt. No longer would he ever allow her to feel alone or hungry. No longer would he ever allow her to not have a home or someone she would call family or someone she could turn to when everything was crashing down around her or simply getting too much for one person to carry. No longer would he ever allow her to feel unloved.

He didn’t want her to ever have to run from something again. He wanted to be what she ran to.

“There’s more. I’ll tell you the rest another day.” Emma sat up so that she could curl up against Killian’s side as he engulfed her in his arms. He held her tightly against him and they sat silently for a while. Eventually, they both fell asleep.

***

They were sitting on the floor on either side of the coffee table in the living room, Emma’s back against the couch as she lost yet another game of chess to Killian who broke out his grandfather’s marble chess set. He had even tried to let her win on multiple occasions but Emma was too distracted by his deep blue eyes to pay any mind to the game in front of her. She missed easy takes and fell easily into his traps. Fitting, really, considering how easily she fell for, fell into, him .

“Alright, alright, I surrender.” Emma tapped her foot against Killian’s thigh. “I believe that you promised me a dip in a hot tub?” She asked, smirking at him.

If it were possible to undress someone with your eyes, Killian would’ve been naked in an instant with the look Emma was giving him. He waggled his eyebrows at her, entirely up to play this game she started. “Did you bring your swimsuit, love?"

“Do I need one, Captain?” Emma teased.

“You little minx.” Killian growled, his cock already starting to harden simply at the words falling off her tongue, and the image they created in his mind. “You go change, or strip, either works wonders for me, love, and grab some towels from upstairs.”

Emma giggled and bounded up the stairs to change into her black bikini. She pulled her hair up into a bun on the top of her head, grabbed some towels, and rummaged through the dresser drawers to find a pair of Killian’s swim trunks for him.

She found him in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of red wine. Killian was nothing if not a romantic.

“I hope one of those is for me,” she toyed, wanting to get his attention and catch him off guard while she wore nothing but her bathing suit.

The second he saw her, Killian’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow,” was about all he could manage.

Emma threw his swim trunks at him. “I brought you these.” He caught them, easily.

He handed her a glass and kissed her softly. “Outside on the left end of the deck. I’ll meet you there, my love.”

The cold air nipped at Emma’s skin as she quickly walked towards the hot water, careful not to spill her wine. It was a long day that tested all of her emotions. Quite frankly, she was exhausted and stressed. Killian tried all day to keep her mind busy, tried to help her relax. As graceful as we were for him, none of it worked. Her past with Lilly kept replaying over and over like a broken record or a film on loop. Sinking into the warm bubbly water, her back against a few of the jets, finally she felt herself relaxing. The jets felt so good against her back she was nearly moaning by the time Killian joined her. She actually didn’t even notice him slipping into the tub across from her until he chuckled.

“Enjoying yourself, love?”

“This might be better than sex.”

Killian threw his head back and laughed. He could have come up with a cheeky line, but he knew she needed this. He knew she needed to really relax, to turn her mind off for a second. He’d follow her lead on where this went.

“Come here, Swan.” He took a sip of his wine and set it down on the ledge behind him. Emma moved to sit between Killian’s legs. He placed a sensual kiss on her shoulder and his hands trailed up her arms to rub her shoulders, working at the knots that had formed there likely from stress.

Emma moaned softly. “That feels nice.”

“All I want is to make you feel good.” Killian whispered against her ear, nipping teasingly at her lobe.

“Mmm you’re succeeding.”

He trailed kisses slowly down her neck, stopping at her pulse point to suck gently at her skin. His fingertips ghosted down her sides, tracing the curves of her breasts and her waist. “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you, Swan.”

His words sent a shiver down her spine as he spoke in that timbre she learned was reserved for only the sultriest of remarks, the dirtiest of phrases, the sexiest of sayings.

“Well now you have me . . . And I’m all yours, Killian.” Emma’s hands rested on Killian’s thighs. As much as she wanted to turn to face him, to straddle his legs and grind into him, to tell him to take shed them of the few clothes creating a barrier between them, Emma was quite enjoying this teasing game.

“And I, yours, love.” Killian pulled her back against him so she could feel the effect her words had on him. “Just hearing you say that is enough to turn me on.”

Emma wiggled her ass back against him which elicited a hiss from Killian behind her. “I quite enjoy having this effect on you, Captain.”

“Oh do you now?”

“Aye,” Emma said, mocking his accent.

Killian chuckled. “You think you’re funny?”

“Aye,” she mocked again, a devilish grin plastered on her face.

In response, Killian nipped at her pulse point, dragging his teeth teasingly over her skin, sucking to leave his mark on her. Not expecting how incredible that would feel, Emma gasped. “Not so funny anymore, are you, my love?”

Taking a deep breath to attempt to calm her racing heart, Emma hummed softly. “It’s hard to think straight when you’re doing such salacious things to me.”

Killian trailed his fingertips underwater over her stomach, whispering in a sultry tone against her neck between wet kisses, “Close your eyes, Swan.”

“Why?”

“Do you trust me?”

Emma closed her eyes. “With all my heart.” She let her head fall back against Killian’s shoulder.

“Imagine I’m kissing down your body,” Killian whispered, trailing his hand between her breasts and down her stomach to the waistband of her bikini bottoms. Emma hummed in response. “Teasing just above where I know you want me.”

Dancing his fingers over her skin, he turned his attention to her breast. “You’re wearing far too much clothing, love.”

Emma reached behind her neck and untied the top while Killian untied the back, tossing the material to the ground beside the tub. “Better?” She teased.

“Much,” Killian smirked, cupping her breasts in his hands, massaging gently.

Emma moaned, heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. “Killian . . .”

“Does that feel good love?” He purred.

“Fuck, Killian. Yes,” Emma groaned, arching her back as if her body was begging for more of his touch, more of his voice, more of his everything.

He placed a kiss on her shoulder. “You’re so beautiful, Emma.”

Emma hummed softly. “Don’t stop.”

“Don’t stop what? Talking?” Killian teased.

“Don’t stop talking,” Emma affirmed, the simple way each word teasingly fell off his tongue sending chills down her spine.

“As you wish, my love.” One of his hands grazed over a sensitive spot on her side.

Emma broke out into a fit of giggles. “Killian! Stop!"

Killian chuckled, purposely tickling her. “Stop?”

“I’m ticklish!” Emma nearly bucked back against him, her laughter uncontrollable. Killian grins, the carefree nature of her genuine laugh warmed his heart. For once today, after a long, stressful day, it looked like Emma was relaxed. But he stopped, lifting both of his hands off of her body, complying with her request.

“Wait, no,” Emma whimpered.

“No?”

“Come back.” She reached back and grabbed one of his wrists, bringing his hand back to rest on her stomach.

“I’m here, Swan. Wherever you need me.” He lowered his lips back to her neck, over the mark he had left earlier. Once again, his hands were roaming her torso, dancing over her stomach, careful to avoid her ticklish sides, caressing her breasts beneath the water, teasing her nipples.

Emma groaned, his name slipping effortlessly from her lips as her eyes close and her head resettles against his shoulder. “More,” she whispers, as if saving that word only for him.

“How about,” Killians hands trailed down her body to her thighs, “here?”

Emma inhales sharply, his fingers dangerously close to where she so desperately needs him. “More,” she repeats. “Killian, please.”

She can feel him smile against her throat, grinning like a madman.

“Where?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know, as if he didn’t already know where she was aching for his touch, as if he wasn’t aching to give her everything she needed, everything she wanted.

Emma rested her hand over his, guiding him to rest above where she needed him over her bikini bottoms. He strummed his fingers over her clit. “Oh god.”

“Killian will do just fine, love,” he joked, chuckling as he continued his teasing.

If Emma could do anything other than moan she might’ve - would’ve - rolled her eyes at him. Instead, she played along, giving him exactly what he asked for. “Oh Killian.”

He hummed softly. “I love the way you moan my name, letting the world know who’s turning you on, who’s making you feel this good.”

Grinding her hips into his hand, Emma was reaching the point of begging. “Killian,” she pleaded, “more.”

Killian grinned, having found the perfect opportunity to mention one of the ridiculous pickup lines he had spent hours looking for on the internet after they had first met when she was studying for economics. “Are your legs available for some open market operations, Swan?”

Emma’s eyes shot open and she turned around to playfully hit his chest.

“What? Not up for a conversation about open markets, Swan? I thought you’d be an expert after all that studying you’ve been doing.” He smirked, clearly enjoying this game they’ve been playing.

Emma glared pointedly at him, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. “You almost ruined the mood.”

“Almost?” Killian raised an eyebrow at her.

Emma shifts to straddle his legs, now facing him, finally able to see the storm in his eyes. Killian dragged his nails down her bare back, scratching gently. Her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck and her lips captured his in a passionate kiss she had been longing for since this dance began. His tongue slipped between her lips, finding hers as he held her close to her. Instinctively, Killian groaned into her mouth as her hips rolled over his straining cock.

Emma grinned against his lips. “You like that, Captain?”

Killian hummed, his hands now resting on her hips, edging her down harder on him as she resisted. “More, Emma,” Killian pleaded.

“My, my, how the tables have turned.” Emma listed her hips off him entirely, eliciting a groan from the man beneath her.

“You’re killing me, love.” His hands ran over her ass, squeezing.

“Hmmmm maybe I’m feeling a sense of sympathy,” Emma teased, her hands toying with his hair, “for those swim trunks.” While her eyes portrayed the utmost innocence, her words insinuated that her intentions were anything but.

Killian smirked, waggling his eyebrows at her. “A growing sense?”

Emma giggled. “Well something’s growing.” She ran her hands down his chest until her fingers were brushing along his waistband. Killian leaned back, giving her the room she needed, groaning and laughing softly at the utter bliss rippling through his body at every brush of her fingertips.

Her hands grazed over his cock, clearly hard and ready for her. “Why don’t we move this into the bedroom?” She whispered salaciously against his lips.

“Swan, you read my mind.” She left him with a quick kiss, hopping out of the tub and wrapping a towel around her as she raced towards the back door to escape the cold, Ithaca night, with Killian following closely behind.

***

The past few days had been more than Emma ever could have dreamed of. Falling asleep wrapped in Killians arms holding her closely against her, waking up to freshly made cups of coffee, spending days playing games and reading and telling nonsensical stories, spending evening curled up on the couch watching whatever seemed interesting on Netflix, and spending nights making out on the couch like hormonal teenagers was simply perfect.

It was Wednesday. Spring break was halfway over and Emma dreaded having to go back to the reality of classes and studying and being apart from Killian. Her eyes fluttered open, sighing as Killian trailed butterfly kisses down her body. He had pushed the covers away, needing to see her face for cues. They hadn’t bothered getting dressed from the night before and had fallen asleep shortly after cleaning up from a delightful rendezvous.

She gripped the pillowcase with one hand while her other ran through his messy hair. A sleepy moan escaped her lips when he kissed her inner thigh. “Well this is a nice way to wake up,” Emma purred.

Killian grinned against her thigh, his stubble scratching gently against her only turned her on more. Unfortunately any endeavour he had planned for that morning was interrupted by Emma’s phone. He groaned, resting his cheek against her thigh, looking up at her with pleading, piercing blue eyes. “Please don’t answer that,” Killian begged. He’d been wanting to taste her all week, but they always seemed to get a little caught up in the moment.

Emma checked her phone, thinking it might be Belle asking her to come in a day or two to help out this week. “It’s August,” she said, confused. August never called her. His preferred method of annoying her was sending a million and a half text messages in a row until she answered. She gently swatted Killians face away from her, a move that was met with an even louder groan as he flopped onto his back. Emma answered the phone. “August?”

“Ems, I don’t fucking know what I’m going to fucking do,” August said, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked on the other end of the line.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Emma asked, concern so clearly blanketing each word that Killian was no longer pouting like an incessant child and instead tossing her his t-shirt from the floor before grabbing a clean pair of boxers from the dresser for himself.

“I can’t fucking believe this is happening. Everything is falling apart.” It sounded like August, someone who had been her rock through the stress of their first semester, was crying. Emma quickly pulled Killian’s shirt on.

“August you have to talk to me. What happened?”

“I didn’t get the fucking internship.”

“The one with the publishing house in New York? I thought the final interview went well! The HR rep basically told you that you got the job.”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?!” August screamed. Emma winced. “Fuck, Ems I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” Emma asked softly.

August sighed. “I have no idea. I got great feedback after every round and they basically handed me the job after the last round but I must’ve fucked up something because I got a rejection email this morning.” He choked on a sob. This was his dream internship. He had worked his entire life for the chance to be at this publishing house. He spent countless hours prepping and forcing Emma to ask him interview questions he had complied from random internet sources and previous interns he connected with on LinkedIn.

“August, I’m so sorry. You have that other interview right?”

“I turned it down. I turned it down after the empty promises HR made.”

Emma’s heart broke for her friend. “Fuck August. I’m so sorry.” Killian came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth and flopped back into bed, throwing his arm over his eyes. Emma reached over to play with his hair with her free hand.

“I don’t know what to do.” August whispered.

“We’ll figure this out. There are still applications open and great publishing houses to start at. Check Nashville. If you’re feeling adventurous check London.” Emma paused. “We’ll figure this out, August.”

“I just wish I knew what I did wrong.”

“So send an email. You had a good relationship with that guy in HR, send him an email and ask for some feedback so that you can come back next year and do better.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” August sighed heavily. “Thanks Ems. I better go. Sorry for bothering you.”

“I’m always here for you, Gus.”

August snorted. “I hate you.”

“Aw, I love you too!”

Killian smiled next to her, partially because it felt damn good when she ran her hand through his hair like she was doing and partially because it warmed his heart to hear how much she cared about her friends. And he would have been lying if he didn’t admit that he was imagining what it would be like to be on the receiving end of her “I love you.”

Emma hung up the phone after saying goodbye and sighed.

Killian uncovered his eyes to look up at her. “Everything alright, Swan?”

“Yeah. Something happened with August’s internship and he’s back at square one.”

Killian rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “Why do I sense there’s something else? You forget you’re an open book to me, love.”

“I just . . . I haven't even thought about what I was going to do this summer.”

Suddenly, Killian’s heart was in his throat, realizing that Emma might choose to spend the Summer in a glamorous city working for an incredible publishing house . . . away from him.

“What do you want to do?” He asked, tentatively but ready to fully support whatever dreams and goals she had. If only she knew how deeply he was in this thing that they started, how fiercely he’d stand beside her no matter what, how no matter where in the world she was he’d either wait for her or follow her. Killian, he was realizing this week, would follow her to the end of the world, or time, if that’s what it took to be with her.

Emma smiled down at him, shifting so she was no longer sitting up next to him but laying down facing him. “I want to write. I really want to write.”

Writing . Writing was something she could do anywhere. Writing was something she could do in Ithaca. Writing was something she didn’t have to leave him to accomplish. Killian grinned before showering her face in kisses.

Emma giggled, rolling onto her back so that Killian was taking his place atop her. “What's all this for?” She asked between fits of giggles, pretending like she didn’t know why Killian was happy - ecstatic really. Her whole life she wanted to be a writer, to tell stories like the ones that got her through the worst moments of her life, the ones that provided her an escape even when she was too tired to run, the ones that gave her hope and showed her love and captured her wildest imaginations. Writing suddenly had an added benefit. She could write wherever she wanted to write. She could write from Ithaca. She could stay near Killian. Emma didn’t need to give up her heart to follow her dreams.

“I just -” Killian paused, his heart racing as he smiled down at Emma beneath him.

“What, Killian?”

His heart skipped a beat when she said his name. Granted, there was nothing he adored more than the way Emma said his name. This time, however, she spoke his name as if she was claiming him as her own. “I just really didn’t want you to be away from me.”

“I think you’re stuck with me.” Emma pulled him close to her. “If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Emma, I am always yours.”

Neither of them could imagine, in that moment, a life without each other. And so they didn’t.

#without a parachute #cs ff #cs fanfic #smut #fluff #captain swan #killian jones #captain hook #emma swan

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multifandom-kpop-scenarios · 5 years

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hello, i saw ur skz scenarios, which are very cute. i wanted to know if i can get one with hyunjin where ure both in college and ure crushing on him. if its not too much to ask can it be like the uni experiences u see on tv or in movies with lit parties and stuff? thank u!

Hello, anonie!!! I know this might be kinda late - I’ve been busy - but here it is! I really hope you enjoy it! It was a lot of fun to write this!

Admin Rex

(Word Count: 2977)

Listen: you came to this party because you knew two of the party hosts own the cutest dogs. Also maybe because Changbin insisted you go to socialize and have fun because you both haven’t seen some of your friends in so long, and he didn’t want to go without you. You had told him that it was okay, that he could go to see his friends. Still, Changbin can be very persuasive when he wants to - his puppy eyes always got you no matter how adamant you were to deny him something. You’d already begun relenting when Changbin pulled his phone out and scrolled through an Instagram feed full of pictures of the same two dogs, one of them being Chan’s dog Berry. At that point, you knew there was no refusing. Your best friend had ensured you that the dogs would be there, you could play with them when you went.

Currently, you were groaning internally at the loud music. Its bass thrummed constantly through your chest and the sound rattled in your skull. Normally, you’d enjoy the hectic atmosphere, but you were running on pure determination at this point. Maintaining passing marks in all of your classes and keeping in touch with your friends was draining, to say the least. That was also on top of your job. You’ve been at the party for an hour and a half, and you already managed to lose Changbin. Not to mention you hadn’t even seen the dogs. You were headed to the kitchen to find something to snack on when someone grabbed your shoulder. When you turned to face the person, your scowl transformed into a bright smile, “Chan! It’s so great to see you!” The blond grinned, dimples on full display, before pulling you along with him. He leaned closer so you could hear him, “Changbin said you came for the dogs.” You pulled away to give him the most hopeful look you could muster. He laughed and pulled you along towards the stairs you really couldn’t bring yourself to go up without permission.

When you entered the first room on the left, you were relieved. It was much more quiet in here, despite the thrumming that was ever present in the walls of the house. There were a few friends you knew - Changbin, Felix, Jisung, Woojin, and Minho - and two others you didn’t. You noted Jeongin wasn’t present, which your protective heart told you was for the best. After greeting everyone with a small smile, you couldn’t help but drop down to greet Berry and the other dog, who’d come over to sniff at you. You cooed quietly at Berry before turning to the other, “Who must you be?” You weren’t really expecting an answer. You were surprised when a soft voice replied, “That’s Kkami.” You look up at the speaker. He almost comes off as intimidating, but you catch the friendly gleam in his eyes and know that he’s probably incredibly nice. You grinned at him before turning back to Kkami, “Well, Kkami, you’re very cute. Almost cuter than Berry over there.” At that, Chan squawks a “Hey, don’t say that about my child!” from the bed you’re leaning against. You laugh, surprised once again to hear the boy from earlier joining you.

He smiles softly before waving his hand in greeting, “I’m Hyunjin! Kkami’s proud parent.” You smile, opening your mouth to respond before being cut off, “Y/N! Save me!” Jisung practically jumps over you before crash landing on the bed behind you, gasping dramatically as he rolls and collides with the wall. Changbin follows him seconds later, grumbling about how his phone is not something to be tossed around. Chan is quick to scoop Berry away from the mess that is Jisung and Changbin. You grin sheepishly at Hyunjin’s wide eyes and stare at each other before breaking out in giggles. Hyunjin straightens up before gesturing to the person sitting beside him. The other boy was in a deep conversation with Felix and Minho, Hyunjin introduces him as his best friend Seungmin. You get a feeling that Jeongin would get along well with said boy, if his mischievous grin was anything to go by.

You spend the rest of the night cackling with your friends at stupid jokes and sad attempts at playing video games together. You would suggest playing a board game, but you’d hate to almost dissolve friendships. The music is still thumping loudly by the time you decide that you should probably return home. When you gather your belongings up, you’re joined by Changbin and Seungmin, who apparently lives near to you and your best friend. The three of you decide to split the cost of a ride.

The next time you see Hyunjin, it was during a break you had between your classes. He had approached you with a warm smile and food in his hands. Eager to get your mind off of your math calculations, you waved him over. You ended up talking with him about your classes, and he told you about his. You learned that he’s majoring in dance, which you think is fitting because just seeing Hyunjin walk gives you the impression of a dancer. You told him about your major, but didn’t spend too much time on it as you just wanted a break from anything related to academics.

Over the next few days, you had to turn in a total of 6 assignments, one of which was an essay. At this point, there was a slight lull in the workload for all of your classes and Changbin somehow knew. “(Y/N), please? Chan, Felix, and Jisung will be there! Even Minho and Woojin! Maybe Jeongin, too?” Changbin was currently trying to talk you into going to another party on Saturday. As if you both hadn’t attended the one two weeks prior. You were pretty set on staying home this time. Changbin couldn’t bribe you with Berry this time. Chan said you were welcome to visit Berry anytime.

You shook your head at him. You had a full day of classes and just wanted to sleep at this point. Changbin pouted at you. Before he could use his special power, you pushed his head down into his history textbook before gathering your notes into your arms and hopping out of the chair, dashing down the library stairs. Changbin texted you seconds later about how you’re so mean to him and that he was going to tell Woojin - a threat that scared you only a little. You weren’t really paying attention to where you were heading because you were texting Changbin back. Before you could even hit send, you rammed right into someone’s back. Changbin received a text that just said oh dont cry you big bafkjdskkldjs. You only had a few seconds to lament the message before hearing your name being exclaimed. “Oh, (Y/N), are you okay? I really hope your nose is fine, you were walking really fast!” You rubbed slightly at the end of your nose before absentmindedly nodding. You noticed you must have wandered to the nearest restaurant without paying much attention. Makes sense, you hadn’t eaten yet.

You ignored the burning in your cheeks, chalking it up to being embarrassed about running straight into another person. Your phone vibrated a few more times before ceasing all together, and you knew Changbin had given up on you while you were busy picking up a few loose papers that had slipped from your hands. Hyunjin smiled at you when you were finished hastily stuffing the notebook into your school bag. Hyunjin’s smile, you note, is incredibly cute. His smile really shows genuine glee at seeing his friends, and you’re suddenly glad Changbin dragged you to that party. You don’t stop spacing out until Hyunjin’s smile droops, “Hey, are you hurt?”At the concern lacing his voice, you quickly shake your head, “No, no, I’m fine. Just. Thinking.” You smile wide at him, grinning more when Hyunjin nods and returns your smile. You look down at your shoes, not really knowing what to do now. You’d just met Hyunjin, and you really didn’t know what to say. You’d barely had any time to get to know him, aside from the time you hung out between your classes, which wasn’t much time, to be honest. Hyunjin sighed, a little hum coming for him before he clapped, “You came to eat, right? Why don’t we eat together? Seungmin’s still in class, and I’m a little hungry. We haven’t really talked much, either, so now would be a good time!”

You’re a little surprised. You thought that maybe Hyunjin didn’t want to eat with you. You don’t share any classes with him, and you’re positive that you aren’t majoring in the same thing. You nod anyway, not wanting to miss a chance to talk to Hyunjin. He smiled, and you’re once again amazed by how genuinely happy he looks. He begins to walk and pauses to wait until you’re in stride next to him. You both choose some food to eat before settling yourselves in a booth that is tucked against a window. About half way through your meal, you glance out the window and scowl when you see Changbin looking at his phone while attempting to stuff his textbook into his bag. Seconds later, your own phone vibrates with a new text. You remember that you never checked the last texts from him and take a moment to do so.

big bafkjdskkldjs???

whats that?

are you ok?

(Y/N)??

youre a big bafkjdskkldjs you know that

fine ignore me

The next message is the one that he just sent, which just says “youre eating right now arent you im coming your way.” You should’ve known he was going to know where to check to find you, especially since he knows you normally eat here after your Thursday classes. You sigh before smiling at Hyunjin who smiles back. You tap out that you’re not eating and that you’re studying at home. You knew Changbin wouldn’t believe you, but there’s nothing wrong with hoping. A minute later, Changbin approaches the table you’re seated at with Hyunjin, who surprisingly doesn’t look surprised to see your best friend there. Changbin looks down at your food before swiping some of it, “I see you ditched and replaced me.”

You stifle a sigh, as Hyunjin protests, explaining that he just wanted to get to know everyone better, including Changbin. That is how you ended up sitting squished between the window and Changbin. Across from you, Hyunjin is smiling softly. Somehow, you’re not sure how or when, Minho ended up sitting with you as well. He brought news of the party that Changbin had been trying to convince you to go to with him. Minho declared he’d be going, and Changbin already wanted to go. He turned to Hyunjin, who shrugged in agreement to go. When Minho turned to you for an answer, you felt like you had to nod - you could hardly say no to Minho. The fact that Hyunjin was going didn’t help. “Jeongin better not be going this time around, either.” You mumbled, and Minho smiled and explained that he’s busy with his own classes and the like.

When Saturday finally decides to roll around, you’re feeling less tired. You’d been able to rest and relax. (You believe that texting Hyunjin as much as you had been contributed, but you wouldn’t tell Changbin this.) Honestly, you were looking forward to seeing your friends, but not the party. Sometimes, the music was a great distraction from your studies, but it was also hard to talk to anyone over the noise. You and Changbin arrived to the house hosting the party. Honestly, you didn’t even know the host. You wandered around a bit, after separating to search for your friends. You first ran into Felix who was playing darts with Minho. They had terrifying accuracy. The next person you encountered was Hyunjin who was mingling with a few others. You waved to Kang Chanhee and Heo Hyunjoon, some of the only other people you recognized, aside from your friend group. Hyunjin beamed at you, as you came to stand between him and Chanhee. You talked with them a bit before they decided to join the mass of other bodies for dancing. You easily agreed, not wanting to be showed up, as you were quite confident in dancing. You were finally feeling your body loosen up as you challenged Hyunjoon.

Eventually, you left the “dance floor” - if a section of uncarpeted living room could be called one - to find something to drink, hopefully something like soda. When you returned from your search, you couldn’t help but feel captivated by the way Hyunjin moved to the music. Saying he was a good dancer was a severe understatement. He looked like he loved and lived to dance, which made sense, given his major. You stared at him a little longer before your eyes locked onto someone else. You speedily walked, “Jeongin! What are you doing here?” He explained he finished studying early, and only dropped by to greet everyone. You offered to walk him back home, which he insisted you didn’t have to, that he wasn’t even that much younger than you, but you honestly wanted to leave the party and you’d love to just talk to the younger. As you walked out to the sidewalk, the front door swung open, and Hyunjin looked surprised to see you leaving, “Going home?”

You smiled at him. His cheeks were pink from dancing the way he was, which made him look cuter than he already did. You motion to Jeongin, who looked between you and Hyunjin, “Not really. I’m taking him back home, then I might head home.” Hyunjin’s eyes flickered to Jeongin, who stared back just as challengingly, before walking down to stand beside you, “Could I come along?” You agree easily. During the walk to Jeongin’s house, you introduced the two and felt proud to see how well they got along. They acted very similar to brothers, if you were being honest. It brought a wide smile to your face. When Mrs. Yang opened the door, her eyes lit up at the sight of her son. She thanked you and Hyunjin for walking with him, before offering to let you come in, which you refused.

At this point, you felt awkward trying to head home and basically ditch Hyunjin, so you decided to ask him if he wanted ice cream from a nearby convenience store. He agreed ecstatically - which, cute - and you explained that you would be paying for the snacks, no buts. He laughed at you, eyes growing soft. You and Hyunjin chose a few different flavors before deciding to just sit at a table set up outside the door. It was quiet for a few seconds before Hyunjin spoke up, “You’re good at dancing, (Y/N).” You look up at him and nod slightly, mostly as a way to thank him for saying that. You wait for a few seconds, “And, you’re amazing at dancing. I figured that you were good, but - wow. I’ve known Chanhee for a long time, and you really gave him a run for his money.” Hyunjin smiles, almost shyly. You let the lull in the conversation drag on for a bit. You watched as Hyunjin looked like he wanted to say something, but was hesitating. “Hyunjin? Something on your mind?”

He took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, “I’ve kind of got a bit on my mind. Nothing bad! Just.” He laughed a little. You could tell he really didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it, so you left it alone. You continued scooping little spoonfuls of your ice cream out of the small container. The silence was getting a bit stifling, but you really didn’t know what to say to Hyunjin. It’s not that you didn’t like him - in fact, you really liked him - but he just seemed preoccupied with his thoughts. He finally set down the little ice cream container and spoon. You raised a brow at him, “Hyunjin, are you sure you’re okay?”

He nodded before looking directly at you, “(Y/N), I think I really, really like you.” He looked so serious as he said it, but you could tell that he was really nervous about his confession. Honestly, you weren’t that surprised, but you were pretty stunned. You thought that this would be like all the other crushes you had that you didn’t act on. To say you were happy was an understatement. Unfortunately, all you could say with your brain freeze was a small “Thanks.” When you processed what you’d replied with and Hyunjin’s dazed - almost disappointed - expression, you scrambled to clarify. You quickly grabbed his hand, which was retreating from the table, “Wait, no, that’s not what I wanted to say! I had a brain freeze, like, wow, someone I really like just confessed to me! And, I really was going to say that I really, really like you, too, but - ” You stopped when Hyunjin started to laugh, the one that was thoroughly amused and so soft sounding at the same time. You paused, before pulling your hand away.

When he stopped laughing, Hyunjin smiled at you again, all kind and soft. You smiled back, despite the burning of your face. Neither of you said anything for a while. The only noise were leaves blowing in the Autumn breeze, occasional cars going by, and the sound of the few customers that visited the convenience store. “Are you free after class on Wednesday?” You asked tentatively. Hyunjin looked up, surprise showing a bit on his face. It took him a few seconds to nod, but when he did, he looked captivating with his small, shy smile.

#kpop scenarios #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin scenarios #rex #anon

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tiffersthenerdyficrecs · 5 years

Text

BakuDeku Fluff Fics

(*) Indicates my most suggested reads.

where sunlight flows by shousanki

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Childhood Friends, Humor, Fluff, Allergies, Spring, BakuDeku Week 2018, Questionable hygiene Summary: When pollen allergies hit 1A's resident pseudo-delinquent, Izuku's credentials as the certified Bakugou Whisperer, earned via fifteen years of blood, sweat, and borderline creepiness, emerges to save them all, in these trying times of emotional constipation.

build this love (from the ground up) by chaoticheroes

Rating: General Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Uraraka Ochako, Kirishima Eijirou, several characters mentioned - Character Additional Tags: Not Beta Read, We Die Like Men, Wedding Fluff, Fluff, it's so soft, so so so soft, LISTEN TO THE SONG COWARDS, this is my first fic pls be easy on me, also idk anything about japanese weddings im sorry, aksdjfhjust kinda writing from the heart tbh, short and sweet, Extremely Summary: “It’s the day, bro. How are we feelin’?” Kirishima places a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. There’s a certain look on his face that Katsuki really doesn’t want to analyze right now. “I’m fine.” He’s not fine. He’s so far from fine that he can’t tell where the line between “fine” and “I’m about to have a nervous breakdown please take me to a hospital” begins. He’s nervous. He’s shaking, his hands are cold and his throat feels like it’s closing. There are far too many feelings running their courses through his brain right now. “I need a shot. Please tell me you have something because I feel like I’m about to shake out of my own skin.”

A Winter Wonderland by Hollowed_Soul

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Kaminari Denki/Kirishima Eijirou Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Akatani "Yamikumo" Mikumo Additional Tags: we need more fluff of these two i stg, angst???, no, smut??? n a h, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ye s, fucking.. fluff, fluff!, only fluff, ALL THE FLUFF, Bakugou Katsuki is a Dork, They both need a Hug, they both need to hug eachother, Midoriya Izuku is a Ray of Sunshine, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, this ship needs to sail, character development is at a T, i love these two dorks so much, I'm bad at details, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, i need more bakudeku, bakudeku, KatsuDeku, these two??? i love em, A very subtle of kami and kiri aha, brief but worth it?, also yes im bringing yamikumo in here, like fucking look at that precious face Summary: It's winter break at UA, and Midoriya has no plans; until Bakugou shows up and changes his whole afternoon.

Kacchan's Hero Name by Noukon

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Canon Universe, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Flashbacks, Little Izuku & Little Katsuki, Cute Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Midoriya Izuku is a Ray of Sunshine, Manga Spoilers (Chapters 218 and 219), Headcanon, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hugs Summary: Katsuki finally got his Hero License and had his first official fight against villains. He feels free, powerful and explosive. But with the acquisition of his new license, he also had to make an important choice, which will determine how people will identify him and what he was going to hear a lot of times throughout his life: a hero name. But it was all good. Katsuki has already made his choice, and he knows a certain green-haired boy will have some things to say about it.

love is blind (and deaf) by kagehinataboke

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki Additional Tags: One Shot, First Meetings, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Aged-Up Character(s), Deaf Bakugou Katsuki, Meet-Cute Summary: Izuku hesitantly opens the door, wielding an umbrella and ready to square up against a mugger. but it’s only one of his neighbors: a new one, in fact. Izuku faintly recalls him moving in a few weeks ago, but one unfriendly glare was enough to stop him from approaching. he discreetly drops the umbrella behind the door. “can i help you?”

Sugar Stardust by milkcandie *

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou, Aoyama Yuuga, Yaoyorozu Momo, Hagakure Tooru, Ojiro Mashirao, Toshinori | All Might, Mineta Minoru, Kaminari Denki, Jirou Kyouka, Midoriya Inko, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Additional Tags: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Drama & Romance, Light Angst, Aged-Up Character(s), Baking, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Romantic Fluff Summary: Between baking pretty macarons and sculpting wedding cakes, Katsuki slowly falls in love with a certain green-haired coworker who has effervescent stars in his eyes. Maybe working as a pastry chef in Nowhere, Japan isn't so bad after all, especially when he’s in such close proximity to a boy who manages to beautify every little thing in his presence. ☆ A pâtisserie AU where Katsuki and Izuku are really the perfect ingredient for each other.

Life Status: Currently Holding It All Together With One Bobby Pin by Kaiwen

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Pre-Relationship, First Kiss, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Kisses, Sleepy Cuddles, Oblivious Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Drunk Bakugou Katsuki, Alternate Universe - College/University Summary: “Do you even sleep anymore, shitty nerd?” Rubbing his tired eyes, Izuku really did not want to answer that question. Katsuki was already a ticking time-bomb as it was on a good day. Now that he was most likely shit-faced, it would probably only be worse. “Don't you have a party to get back to? I think I can hear Kaminari yelling something about beer pong over there.” “Don' avoid the q'stion, Deku. When were you planning on sleeping?” “I scheduled a nap in for a week from next Tuesday,” the green-eyed boy grumbled, glaring at the book on his lap. Hadn’t he already read this page…? “I'll sleep when I'm dead.” There was silence for a moment before Katsuki loudly growled, “Yer a fucking idiot,” suddenly hanging up the phone.

Give Me Something (something to hold on to) by SurelyHeavenWaits

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Brief mentions of others Additional Tags: Insomniac Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Fluff, just pure fluff and soft sweet goodness Summary: Deku hasn't been sleeping lately- not that Katsuki cares. It's just… it's just that lately, Deku's freckles are drowning in the blue-black shadows threatening to swallow his eyes and he has a habit of napping if he stays still in one place for too long.

"I'm Better When I'm With You" by InkspillsNotebook

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Uraraka Ochako Additional Tags: Talking, Bakugou isn't great at it, Confessions, Future Planning, Fluff, this is all just fluff whoops Summary: N/A

Rain Smell by lalazee

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Secret Relationship, Fluff, Canon Compliant, Romance, Teen Romance Summary: Rise.

Let's Be Alone Together by lalazee

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Smut, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Graduation, Comedy, Romance Summary: Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move. “Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Starshine by blueslove

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: bakudeku, Bakusquad, Dekusquad, Fluff, Alternate Universe - Fantasy(references), Canon Compliant, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Falling In Love Summary: Deku’s eyes always light up when he talks about that book.

It’s as if his being lives to praise the pages, like his lips don’t know how to form any other words. He speaks of the characters like they’re friends, the story as if he’d lived it himself, and the place like he’d seen it with his own eyes.

Katsuki can’t stand it.

Don't Lick The Desk (Just Another Monday) by Kaiwen *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kirishima Eijirou Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Alternate Universe - Professors, Established Relationship, Romance, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Comedy, Childhood Friends, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Hisashi's Bad Parenting, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Sassy Midoriya Izuku, Soft Bakugou Katsuki Summary: Chemistry Professor Katsuki Bakugou and Biology Professor Izuku Midoriya have been in the fiercest of rivalries since they both started at the university of Yuuei. If they aren’t trying to outdo each other on who has the most obnoxious classroom ever, they are fighting against one another to try and get funding for activities when they both work out of the same tiny budget. Half of the student-body seems to “ship” them together, impatiently awaiting the day they realize they belong together. Too bad they are both already married… to each other.

Icebreaker by EtherealBeing *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Much of class 1-A will appear Additional Tags: Humor, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Crack Treated Seriously, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Doctor! Bakugou, Secondhand embarrassment, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia) Summary: Izuku tried his best to stay positive, and remind himself that his predicament was nothing to be ashamed of — that doctors dealt with this sort of thing all the time. Needless to say, he gave up on trying to maintain that optimism the moment his childhood friend walked in, white coat, stethoscope and all. “Holy shit, I can’t believe this!” Katsuki managed to wheeze, in between raucous, choking bouts of laughter. “You— You got a dildo stuck up your ass?!” Or: After several years of no contact, Izuku and Katsuki are reunited at the ER when the former gets a dildo stuck in his ass, and the latter is the doctor tasked with removing it.

The Spell in Her Name by Merrywetherweather *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Original Child Character(s), Inashi Midoriya, Ashido Mina Additional Tags: bg kirimina, Adoptive Parent Izuku Midoriya, child abandonment (past), Babysitter Bakugou Katsuki, more tags to be added later, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Canon Compliant, Aged-Up Character(s), Heroes & Heroines Summary: Bakugou Katsuki returns home to Japan after his 3 year contract runs out with his agency in America. Unfortunately, the house he had contracted to be built by the time he got back has had a few setbacks and his closest friend, Kirishima, just shacked up with Ashido. Rather than live in a hotel for another month, he tries to crash at Deku's place. He arrives at his door uninvited. But Katsuki wasn't expecting Deku to already be living with someone. An adoptive child au where Deku took in and raised a little girl someone left on his doorstep.

The SKIRT by Kurohimex105(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: General Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Ashido Mina, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu, Jirou Kyouka, Hagakure Tooru, Yaoyorozu Momo, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Todoroki Shouto, Mineta Minoru, Shouji Mezou, Kouda Kouji, Iida Tenya, Satou Rikidou, Aoyama Yuuga, Ojiro Mashirao, Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Monoma Neito Additional Tags: Cute Midoriya Izuku, Angry Bakugou Katsuki, Crossdressing, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Mush, Class 1-A Shenanigans (My Hero Academia) Summary: The girls want to get their own back on the boys for tricking them into wearing those cheerleading outfits at the sports festival. The boys punishment is to make them wear a SKIRT of course what could go wrong? The girls weren't counting on a cunning Mineta to change their plans and come up with a scheme to draw lots to see who it will be. Who's the lucky guy? you guessed it our very own bunny boy Izuku Midoriya how will things turn out for our sweet greenette.

Summer Daze by erza_mikazuku

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki's Parents, Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Masaru, Midoriya Inko, Todoroki Shouto, Iida Tenya Additional Tags: Reunited and It Feels So Good, Fluff, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Sweet, Childhood Memories, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, lifeguard izuku, Summer Vacation, Walks On The Beach, Beach City, Summer, Summer Festival, Jealous Bakugou Katsuki, Boys Kissing, Kissing, First Dates, Surfing, Sunsets, Sunrises, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Long Lost Friends Summary: After Izuku moved away as kids, he and Katsuki reconnect and soon find themselves inseparable on social media. As summer hits, Katsuki finds himself bored on vacation with his parents at a beach town far from home. However, a twist of fate leaves Katsuki in a daze.

License and Registration Please by mzmirrorz

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijirou, Shinsou Hitoshi Additional Tags: Soft Bakugou Katsuki, In my christian minecraft server? more likely than you think, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Inappropriate use of Careless Whisper by George Michael, Police Officer Midoriya Izuku, ProHero!Bakugo, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Crimes, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Being gay and doing crimes Summary: "License and registration pl-"

"Evening officer it's been a while. What a whole week since you pulled me over last?"

"This is the sixth time this month I've pulled you over for speeding Ground Zero-"

"Katsuki, please."

Or Katsuki has the hots for Officer Midoriya and goes about asking him out the wrong way.

#bakudeku #katsuki bakugou #midoriya x bakugou #bakugou x midoriya #bkdk #fanfic #fanfiction #fic rec #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #fluff

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strugglingbeingateen · 5 years

Text

Weightloss

Weightloss is a bitch! And the only people that can understand what im talking about are the people who have been through it or are currently in the same boat as me. So far I have managed to lose 4 stone. Im proud of it but im not happy yet.

I have been told through out my life by various people that im not good enough because of how i look and it has shaped me into a person i no longer like.

As a child i didnt care that i was fat and the other kids were thin, i accepted myself for who i was, not how i looked. Unfortunately small minded people didnt and those who were too scared to be unpopular because they are scared their real opinion isnt cool enough decided to join in on bullying me and other kids with similar problems.

As the years went by what started off as one comment that stuck in my head, became many and then before i knew it i was depressed.

Yes, depression is a word people throw around here and there and others just think theyre attention seeking but the thing is, i had been such a happy person my entire life i never thought i could be depressed and then one day it hit me.

I felt stupid after months and months of wondering why i felt numb and why i would cry almost every day in my room alone, i realised i was depressed. I remember when it happened, i was pushing away all my friends with out even really knowing why, being horrible to them but deep down i knew i wasnt good enough to be their friend and i remember sitting alone in my room like i did every time i wasnt at school, id just lay in the dark and it was like a lightbulb going off in my head and i was just like...well shit.

Im not the type pf person who likes to share emotions or my feelings and im way to lazy to hand write a diary so this is what im going for, i dont care if people read this or if it just sits unread, when i have finished losing this weight i want to know how i felt through it all, because its easy to forget.

Anyhoo, it took me a long time to pull myself out of the depression and the way i did it was i started walking, this was the start of my first serious diet, i lost 3 stone on this diet. I was getting very very over weight and i decided the cause of all my problems was that i wanted to be thin and i wasnt.

What started off as a 2 mile walk a day soon turned to 4 and then before i knew it i was walking 18 miles a day, running 1 and a half and cycling 6 to 8. ( by this point it was the summer holidays) everything hurt and i was hungry all the time because i went from eating 4 peoples intake of calories a day to 1 and that shifted a lot of the weight but as the diet went on i got tired of doing so much every day and waking up feeling and looking the same at least in my eyes, so i quit.

I put on 2 of the 3 stone i had lost and i didnt even care. I had decided that being fat was who i was and who i am meant to be. Up until this christmas, i was around my family who are all relatively healthy and i was saw us all sitting and eating in the mirror next to the dining table and i just felt lost, everyone smiling and laughing while i sat staring at this reflection of me thinking how disgusting i was and how unhappy i was again and its all because i was too stupid to cut down and change the exercise to fit what i needed and a realistic goal each day instead of quitting entirely.

So i swore, this new year i am going to lose the weight and even though over the past 7 ish months there have been bumps in the road and a couple times where i quit, i got back up and am now 4 stone lighter than i was at the beginning of the year.

I know many people have secret opions on overweight people and some not so secret, i know a lot of people who call fat people ugly when im around and i just turn to them and say ‘being fat and being ugly arent mutually exclusive’ and i watch ad their face falls and they realise that there is a fat person standing right next to them, i then watch as they struggle to find the right words to say and stutter and i remember with this one guy i just said ‘look, i know im fat’ he looks so confused, he was stunned as if he thought i was completely clueless and he said ‘you know?’ And i remember laughing and saying ‘of course i know, i have eyes and a brain, i can put two and two together just as easy as a thin person’ he looked to confused and i just remember how funny his expression was and i just said ‘i cant believe you didnt think that i knew i was fat, even if i never looked in the mirror, the size of my jeans or down, the people shouting fatty at me would clue me on’

In my opinion, being fat and ugly are two different things, i think someone being ‘ugly’ is just an opinion each person has about different people, some to do with looks and other personality. I think beauty really is in the eye of the beholder because i remember this girl who was my friend, i thought she was absolutely stunning, so perfect and just amazing and then my brother genuinely didnt find her attractive in any way shape or form, he said ‘i dont know why you think she is so pretty, she is bland and is as thick as two short planks’

I defended her over and over again until i saw her true face, not the one that you might think, she didnt take off makeup and look completely different or anything, she was a natural beauty, i mean we fell out, actually its a bit more complicated than that, i fell out with a mutual friend and no one asked but she chose the mutual friends side, me and the mutual friend just ignored each other but this other girl, she used me to make herself popular, she spread lies and rumours about me and got her new found ‘friends’ to torment me, every day they would ask me questions about rumours that i didnt even know about and they harrassed me, she just stood there and watched, sometimes she would laugh but she would never get involved, i guess she was too scared or was telling herself she wouldnt stoop that low and bully me but the way i saw it was she enjoyed watching me be harrassed and embarressed and tormented every day, where ever i went and she wouldnt speak to me when i spoke to her, she just ignored me like we had never been best friends, like she thought she was better than me. Like i wasnt good enough. I ended up spending more time at home than in school just because i couldnt get out of bed in the morning because i knew what was waiting for me at school. My mum soon figured out what was happenening and wanted me to go to the head of year so i agreed, i would but i wasnt saying any names, not only because i didnt want to be a snitch but a part of me still had hope that we would be friends again and i didnt want to hurt her. I ended up moving forms from the one she was in but that still didnt stop them, my parents started getting annoyed that i wouldnt go to school and they would shout at me and every day was a struggle. I just couldnt believe that my so called best friend of 8 years could change into this bitch. If it wasnt for my other friend i wouldnt have gotten through it.

Once i saw this side of her i no longer saw her as beautiful, i still knew people would and i couldnt deny she was pretty but being beautiful means inside and out in my opinion and the only thing she was inside was rotten and she still is. Its been over two years now and im not in school anymore im in college, the people that bullied me, some go to my college and they laugh and slag me off when they see me but luckily the girl stayed on for sixth form. Me and the mutual friend actually made up a little over a year ago and actually see each other quite often, when me and the bitch originally fell out, i remember people that were mutual friends asking me why and i said because shes a bitch and they would defend her, i have seen all of them and each one of them have appologised and said they were sorry because now they realise how right i was. The original mutual friend me and the bitch fell out about actually hates her now and i have just realised recently that these so called ‘friends’ the bitch have, dont really care and when they go off and live their own lives, they will leave her behind because they dont really care and this bitch i have heard she has no plans for the future, not that there is anything wrong with that but it just goes to show that popularity may matter to her now but what happens when there is no one left to be your friend and to show off to.

Anyway after all this i have become a better person, not the best version of myself yet but im getting there, i have learned what really matters to me and who really matters and i dont want to be thin anymore, i want to be fit, healthy because the trusth is no matter how much i want to deny it being overweight is unhealthy, both mentally and physically. The reason i know im going im going to get where i want this time is because i am doing it for me, because i want to feel and look good, not to show off to others or take revenge on this bitch.

Anyways i know this probably wont be read, but in case it is, i cant be bothered checking on spelling and grammar so sorry if its a terrible read i needed to get that off my chest

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dysphoric-dumbass13 · 5 years

Note

All of the bookish asks. I hate you. And your stupid fucking face. Im so tired dude i stayed up ridiculously late to finish that

Hey I stayed up ridiculously late to finish mine too. Well not ridiculously late because me and then I couldn't fall asleep anyways but whatever. And you literally love me you jackass.

1. (what book did you last finish? when was that?) Willingly? Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, in July. For school? Of Mice And Men. I didn’t care that much, and I forgot to finish A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but I still finished my project fine without any issue whatsoever and should get at least a B, if not an A. But whatever.

2. (what are you currently reading?) The Odyssey, for school. But also I’m like ¾ of the way through What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli. (what book are you planning to read next?) Well for English it will have to be A Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass by Fredrick Douglass, Night by Elie Wiesel, Farewell to Manzanar by Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston, or Lord of the Flies by William Golding. However, I really want to read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. And I’m also trying to get a hold of the Harry Potter books because I haven’t read them since I was 7, and I was a compulsive moron so I read them out of order based on length and the title. I did that a lot.

3. (what was the last book you added to your tbr?) I don’t fully know what it means by that, but I’ll give this a try. The last thing I remember actively seeking out that I need to read again (for writing purposes, and the fact that I’m a nerdy bastard) was the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling.

4. (which book did you last re-read?) Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli, I loved it so much that I read it twice in one month. I also re-read Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli twice before moving to the former.

5. (which was the last book you really, really loved?) Again, Leah on the Offbeat. I loved that book so much oh my god.

6. (what was/were the last books you bought?) I actually bought 3 books in September (after I got all my books for English), which were Leah on the Offbeat, Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda, and The Song of Achilles.

7. (paperback or hardcover? why?) Paperback. The hurt less to hold while reading, and they’re cheaper so I can buy more of them. But I do love a hardcover book if the cover is really intricate and beautiful.

8. (ya, na, or adult? why?) Idk. To me it doesn’t matter all that much as long as it’s a good book. I really like anything that isn’t racist, sexist, super heteronormative, transphobic, or hating of any particular religion (except like if it’s vaguely poking fun at catholicism and christianity because we deserve it)

9. (sci-fi or fantasy? why?) Fantasy. God I just fucking LOVE fantasy. I wrote a 20,000-word oneshot that was of the fantasy genre. I just love it too much.

10. (classic or modern? why?) Idk. Doesn’t really matter, again, as long as it isn’t racist, transphobic, against a religious group, or too heteronormative.

12. (political memoirs or comedic memoirs?) Idk man. But I hate politics in every way, shape, and form, so I’m gonna go with comedic memoirs.

13. (name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaptation) Um………. idk. I’m gonna go with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire simply because of the fact that they cut so much out and, sorry not sorry, if the whole series was written by someone not transphobic, homophobic, and antisemitic it would be better. It’s great, but it could be so much better.

14. (name a book where the movie/tv adaptation was actually better than the original) Again idk. I’m gonna say The Princess Bride because that movie is so fucking good guys.

15. (what book changed your life?) I know it’s not technically a book book, but Unknown Colors by Gabriels_Wings on Wattpad. It got me into reading again and that’s only benefitted me so far (except for distracting me from homework, but who cares).

16. (if you could bring three books to a deserted island, which would they be and why?) Well, obviously, Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda and Leah on the Offbeat (ok I’m gonna some up with abbreviations now, LotO for the latter and SvtHA for the former), and the last spot would be between The Song of Achilles and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. Because they’re good books. And I’m gonna end up dying on said island and I need my gay fix with me.

17. (if you owned a bookshop what would you call it?) Oof, that’s hard. Probably….. Narnia. And it would be a very gay place with beanbags and a small coffee shop inside and it would be like this one place my mom went to all the time where you could buy a book and if you wanted to you could bring it back and they’d buy it back for slightly less than you bought it for. It was a great place. And my bookshop would be amazing.

18. (which character from a book is the most like you?) Toughie. I’m gonna go with… Blaise Zabini from Harry Potter or Abby Suso from SvtHA and LotO. Because Blaise is very gay and sassy (idk if he actually is in the books but hey, fanfiction) and Abby is a bi disaster and relatable af.

19. (which character from a book is the least like you?) Idk. Hannah Abbott? Because she’s a Hufflepuff? Idk man.

20. (best summer read?) LotO.

21. (best winter read?) Been a while since I actually remember reading a book in winter. I remember when I was in 5th grade I really loved reading Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin. That was good. But I think The Hobbit would be good too.

22. (pro or anti e-readers? why?) Pro, it makes reading at random places so much easier. Plus, I can then read gay fanfic at my christian grandparents’ houses.

23. (bookdepository or amazon?) I’ve never used Book Depository, but I looked it up (omg Kass you aren’t going to believe it, I googled something on my own!) and it seems smaller and cooler because it’s just books. So I’m gonna go with that one.

24. (do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop?) In a bookshop without a doubt, you can browse for hours. I love bookshops

25. (if you could be a character in a book for just one day, who would you be and why? bonus: any specific day in the story?) Simon Spier. From SvtHA. On the day of the carnival fair thing. Because zqawxsedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolplomiknujybhtvgrfcedxwszqa

26. (if you could be a character in a book for their entire life, who would you be and why?) Again Simon Spier. Because infdjfcdncewhfiubdkjcnsoawehfwedscnsaoufgrwiofbv cisahcsoainh

27. (if you could change one thing about mainstream literature, what would you change?) NO. MORE. DISCRIMINATION! And I swear to god people, quit idolizing authors who are racist or sexist or transphobic or homophobic or against certain religions or anything else because I swear they don’t deserve it! No more discrimination in the media guys.

28. (how many books have you read so far this year?) A lot. Idk the actual amount but a lot. Especially if we’re counting fanfic.

29. (how do you sort your shelves?) I don’t actually own enough books to sort lol. But I assume I would sort them alphabetically by author. And if I had a ton of books, I’d sort them further into genres.

30. (who’s your favorite author?) Becky Albertalli.

31. (who’s your favorite contemporary author?) Idk. I’m not that smart, I don’t put authors into genre categories.

32. (who’s your favorite fantasy author?) See above.

33. (who’s your favorite sci-fi author?) See above.

34. (list 5 otps) Oh god, here I go. Pansmione (Pansy Parkinson x Hermione Granger from Harry Potter), Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black from Harry Potter), Sabriel (Sam Winchester x Gabriel from Supernatural), Johnlock (John Watson x Sherlock from Sherlock), and Merthur (Merlin x Arthur Pendragon from Merlin).

35. (name a book you consider to be terribly underrated) What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli.

36. (name a book you consider to be terribly overrated) Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck.

37. (how many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now?) 19, including a book I accidentally stole from my 7th grade LA teacher (sorry), and a college workbook I stole from my dad on lifesaving first aid for heart problems. + 1 movie (Love, Simon), 5 comic books, and an adult coloring book because why not. I also have 2 full boxes downstairs full of kids books (about half of which I've never read or have any interest in reading) from when I moved.

38. (what language do you most often read in?) English because I’m a dumb bitch and don’t know other languages well enough. I might be able to stumble through a kid’s book in French, and I could read a basic novel in Spanish.

39. (name one of your favorite childhood books) Goodnight Moon was one of my favorites. I also was obsessed with Where The Mountain Meets The Moon by Grace Lin, and when I was about 5 my mom would read The Hobbit to my brother and I when she got home from work if she was working a half day, or she wasn’t held up too late on a normal day. Ah, some actually decent childhood memories.

40. (name one of your favorite books from your teenage years) SvtHA.

41. (do you own a library card? How often do you use it?) Yeah, and decently often.

42. (which was the best book you had to read in school?) The Outsiders. In 7th grade.

43. (are you the kind of person who reads several books at once or the kind of person who can only read one book at a time?) Multiple at once. I kind of have to if I want to read for fun while I’m in school.

44. (do you like to listen to music when you read?) Honestly, my mind is like an iPod I can’t fully control, I was laying in my bed half asleep singing What I Got yesterday morning for no reason, so I don’t have a choice. There’s more of a choice if I’m listening to music, so yes.

45. (what is your favorite thing to eat when you read?) Nothing? I don’t really like to eat when I’m reading, unless I’m reading on my phone and then it doesn’t really matter. But when I'm reading I usually forget to eat.

46. (what is your favorite thing to drink when you read?) Tea. Without a doubt. If I’m not too lazy to make it, that is.

47. (what do you do to get out of a reading slump?) Well, I do one of two things. I either try to convince Kass (@eyeforaneye-toothforatooth) to write something for me, or I’ll write (because I know I have to read over it a bajillion times, and I write too much for anyone’s good)

48. (where is your favorite place to read?) In my mind palace. I have a little place in my mind palace that I go when I’m reading or writing, and it changes. Sometimes it’s in a cottage at night with the only light a fireplace that I’m sitting in front of, sometimes it’s leaned against a tree. Three of my favorites are leaning against a cherry blossom tree looking out at a river, on a beanbag in a cozy, quiet bookshop/library, and on a beach in Roatan, Honduras. Other than that, it’s curled up on my UFO couch in my front living room, in front of the gigantic window.

49. (when is your favorite time to read?) It actually depends on the season. In the summer, always because I don’t want to go outside because it’s too hot. In the winter it’s during the evening. Spring it’s early in the morning. Fall it’s around sunset.

50. (why do you love to read?) Because you’re taking yourself and delving into a different universe, where nothing you know exists and only what you’re reading does. It takes me away from the world and all of my struggles, and puts me somewhere where that doesn’t exist. It’s refreshing. I hate you too

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volgotha · 4 years

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Holy shit I just read your text post I'm so sorry! How are people so easily sold on bullshit??? What happened that lead up to all that?

Okay, strap yourself in. I’m only typing this mess up once more and then I’m never mentioning it again as long as I live. I’m not going to tag it with anything relevant either so once its posted, i’m letting it get lost in the sea of reblogs. Here we go, warning; this is gon be long.

In 2006 I went to college. From 2006 to 2009 I hung out with 5 friends and my bf at the time, Andre. It was in 2007 that we started to poke our heads into the 2C11 room (the clubspace room). Matt and his best friend Jogn Carlo started coming with us to Rocky Horror, a thing only myself and two of my 5 friends would do together, along with ppl they knew from their old highschool. By 2009, we had formed a big gang of friends from the clubspace, and we all started going to movies and sushi together. One of my friends organize panels for Otakuthon, where we’d all meet up.

But in 2009, two of the 5 ppl I hung out with had a falling out. They stopped being friends. One went to university, the other was around for one more year then she went to university in 2010. That’s when the old group began to change from a family to a clique: In 2010 new members joined the club, and became new staples in the old group–most importantly, a guy named Tin.

It used to feel like a big family, but when the new semester started in September 2010 and new members flooded the club, everything changed. Tin instantly gave me a strange feeling in my gut, like there was something off abt him I couldn’t articulate. Shannon was dating Alex, the then club president, who stepped down in disgrace after I and one of those 5 friends went to the student union to complain abt him being the Harvey Weinstein of the club,. He wanted to permanently ban her from the club bc that summer when he was making a shitty youtube movie, he asked her out and she said no. The only reason he stepped down is bc I helped her take it to the student union and took him down. So when 2010 came along, Tin swooped in and became Alex 2.0, and when I warned ppl abt him they didn’t listen.

Fast forward a year to 2011, and the shitstorm happens; My mom had bvee battling with cancer since 2009. She had a hysterectomy but it didn’t work, and the cancer came back with a vengance.

January 15th 2011: My mom comes into my room and tells me her doctor doesn’t give her 1 year left to live. A few minutes after she leaves my room, Tin talks to me on Steam. He starts trolling me, I exploded on him. I felt bad about it so I tried to apologise to him, and I wrote on my facebook wall a message: “Just found out my mom has a year left to live, not in my right head, plz stay away from me for a while” so i wouldn’t explode on anyone else. I said I tried to apologise to Tin on steam, because him being an abujsive sociopath, instead of just accepting the apology or not like a normal person, instead he starts demanding that i admit to being a shitdisturber. I ignore him at that point, tell him im sorry, wish him good night and then sign off steam, and go to bed.

The following day, Shannon heads me off as I’m in the 2C11 hallway heading to the clubspace room; she warns me that Kelly is having a shit fit and screaming about how much of a horrible person I am, that apparently Kelly thinks my facebook post is me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I run to confront her, because excuse me, no it fucking wasn’t yknow? and whatever trauma she hasn;’t resolved yet doesn’t give her the right to twist my meanings and paint me as a monster. Thats when she goes into the Oliver’s caf so I follow her, and she screams at me calls me pathetic and heads back into the clubspace, and everyone followed her and left me in the caf crying with Shannon and Alex. :/

The situation was made ten times worse later that night by a certain person named Mathew, remember him? He was supposed to be my friend. Instead, he took the opportunity to write a huge post on fb tearing me down, on which everyone else joined in taking a public jab at me. Matt was seen as the community leader at the time. He could have used his power to calm the situation down, instead he made things worse. To this day, I suspect that troll Tin is the one who twisted my words to trigger Kelly and cause all of this, and that he also had Matt in the palm of his hand, but i digress; Matt’s post convinced most of them to ditch me. That devastated me in an already overwhelmed state, and I attempted suicide a few nights later.

That summer, I saw that my former friends were all having a big party, “What Killed the Dinosaurs? The Bad Movie Night.”, and I wasn’t invited. Shannon saw how much it hurt me, so she invited to her bf’s party instead, and that’s where I met Paul.

The following school year of 2011-2012 went by without much incident. The people who had ghosted me slowly added me back, Matt even apologized for his shit, and things seemed to be on the up and up. It looked like all this drama was behind us. I was wrong.

After I graduated, I decided to go visit the club in Fall 2012. Big mistake.

I saw someone I knew, Sarah, crying on someone’s lap, and asked her what was up. She told me she was in an abusive relationship with Tin. For giving her the advice to leave him, Tin came at me on steam again, and I told him that he was an abuser, that he would not intimidate me and to go fuck himself, and I blocked him. Suddenly, Matt was trying to extort 100$ from me for 2 locks I had broken the year before, which should’ve only cost 42$. Where did that come from? Well, Tin was the club’s Treasurer that year. He was trying to get back at me for standing up to him and helping his victim escape, and he was doing it through Matt, who was going apeshit on me on MSN for refusing to pay 100$. I insisted I should only have to pay what I owe, which was 42$. He kept freaking out on me, so finally I threatened to get a lawyer involved, and that’s when he backed down. I still paid the money I owed for the locks I had broken but I blocked Matt, having had enough of his bullshit, and that’s when suddenly a bunch of ppl from the group ghosted me for good.

Why was I ghosted when Matt was clearly the one in the wrong? Because Tin. They ghosted me bc Tin told them to. Tin and Matt told them all sorts of shitty things about me and they believed them. They don’t hold Tin or Matt to any of their shitty actions though bc they don’t want the same abuse that happened to me to happen to them. They turn a blind eye to every shitty thing Tin and Matt do. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand there’s an extremely toxic abuse dynamic at play in that group.

But the story doesn’t end there. Remember that party I went to with Shannon, and that guy I met named Paul? From november 2011 to march 2015 we were together. I was isolated from whoever was left, only hung out with him and his friends. In 2014, I became close friends with a girl name d Ariel, a member of that old groiup who ghosted me. But that was probably a manufactured relationship manipulated into existance by Paul, so he could jump to her when he was done with me.

Paul was extremely abusive when no one was around. The night he left, we had a huge fight. I tried to escape the situation by running upstairs. He chased me and when I ran into my TV room and closed the door behind me, he started pounding on it and trying to push his way in. When he did manage to get through the door, I panicked, picked up a glass bottle and threw it at him, and then slammed the door again when he backed out. The bottle broke, and cut his finger very deep. He used that cut to get everyone present during the situation on his side. Nevermind all the crazy abusive stuff he had just pulled in front of them, no, I was the bad guy, and once he had them convinced, he left to my then bff’s house, who later became his new gf.

He posted a picture of the wound on facebook, and because of that and previous drama from years ago that never really went away, most of the friends I had left from Dawson believed him, and ghosted me. I couldn’t tell them that a week earlier he had raped me, and that’s why I was scared enough to throw that glass bottle at him.I filed a police report, I warned everyone who would listen to me about him, and I warned her. I did all I could.

I was too scared to tell this story for such a long time, because if asking for understanding while my mom was dying was twisted into me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch, then asking for understanding for the outbursts I had after being raped would just be twisted into me using my rape as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I couldn’t handle the idea of my rape being trivialized as just some excuse–and Mathew is in part responsible for it all, because of that fucking post he made publicly tearing me down. Had he not posted that, I would’ve never lost my support system, I would’ve never gone to that party with Shannon, and I would’ve never been raped.

So I spent the better parts of 2016-2018 telling those involved off for their part in my current situation and blocked them, and the rest rebuilding what I had back in 2009, with resounding success.

So, there you have it. That’s what happened. Fuuuuuuuucking insane isn’t it. Its over now, none of them can hurt me anymore and Ive once again surrounded myself with friends I can actually trust, so everything’s good now. I still have my low days bc this was yknow, a lot, but I’m doing much, muuuuch better now.

#T-Abyss

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gloomy-goober · 6 years

Text

Make Believe (Part 5)

@but-jesuschrist-im-never-good @vergeangst @louvrejpeg @here-to-vent @justanotherpurplebutterfly @holdnarrytight @fangirl4ever07 @twinkly-lights@fandomsandanythingelse @that-space-gay-writes @abstractedthinking @fandomsofrandom @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

A ROMAN’S KINGDOM SPECIAL! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Buy me a Ko-Fi?

Note: This takes place late highschool-early college. Not sure where it fits perfectly into the time line of GUPoaW but I wanted to do a thing that was more fantasy but based in this universe.

Daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise! What could be more amazing than a world that can be shaped to the whim of the pure creative energy of a man? Or could it be something terrifying as pure energy can sometimes run without reason?

No sunlight appeared over the small village as morning began; the sky was completely overcast. It was like the universe was reflecting the terrible feeling of dread that permeated the air. Not even the birds dared to sing their morning song as if they understood the dark nature of the day to come.

Roman groaned as he slowly came out of the unconscious and dreamless sleep the night had brought him. The nature of the rising day seemed to cut into his very being.

His mind felt groggy and every muscle ached from the battle of the day before. Despite how quickly he fell asleep, he did not feel well rested. In fact, Roman felt like he had stayed up the whole night without even a quick dose.

The prince shifted onto his back and grimaced as his side flared up in pain. He did not have to look under his shirt to know that Patton’s steed had left a nasty bruise on his side. If anyone on their small band of merry men saw the bruise they would insist on him resting but the prince had a quest to lead and an investigation to begin. He could not let mundane things such as that stop them.

“Anxiety,” Roman mumbled the name as he rubbed his face to try and wipe off the sleep. Tired brown eyes stared up at the ceiling as he tried to fight a yawn. “Anxiety, I know you are a creature of the night, but we have a quest to start. There is simply no time to wait for you to rise from your coffin.”

Creativity’s eyes traced a crack in the ceiling as he waited for a grumbled answer.

A light breeze carried in the smell of rain that had not yet fallen and ruffled the prince’s messy hair. He did not remember opening the window the night before or if it had been opened by the anxious side. The thought of the oddity moved from his mind as he noticed a lack of grumbled words or the sound of someone shifting on a bed.

It was just the wind.

“Anxiety?” Roman grit his teeth and forced himself to sit up. His side screamed in protest at the movement, but he shrugged it off. “Anxiety it is time to-.”

His words died on his tongue as he turned to the bed across the room.

The window that was beside it was wide open; showing the dark clouds that had blanketed the sky. The bed itself was empty of the side Creativity was looking for. The blankets were strewn on the floor at the foot of the bed and the pillow had landed next to Roman’s.

“Well then,” Roman frowned at the scene before him. “Gets up early for once in his life and leaves the room a complete mess. Does he have no manners?”

Roman scoffed at the rude actions of the darker side as he turned to the more pressing matter of how much longer this journey would be. Without another glance at the bed the prince pushed himself up to his feet and stretched. The bruise once again reeled its ugly head and sending Roman into other thoughts he did not want to entertain.

If he could not beat this pain, any other battle that they may face on this long quest would be very difficult for him to fight. His companions would be vulnerable. The hero that he was supposed to be would be allowing them to be hurt for him when he should be the one to protect them.

Roman curled more into himself as the pain slowly began to subside. He could not let that happen; his family would not get in harms way because of a small battle wound. I cannot allow that.

He took a deep breath and moved towards the chair that sat near the door. His white uniform laid on the seat; ready to be worn out once again. He moved slowly to get it on but once he did he felt some more confidence about his ability to help the others.

Whatever that they would cross he would be ready for it.

A knock on the door pulled him from the imagined horrors that they had yet to face. His world coming back to the current present of the Inn.

“Come in,” Roman stood up straighter and forced a smile onto this face to hide the concerns.

The smile turned more relaxed and less like a mask when Patton’s bright smile peeked into the room.

“Came to wake you kiddos up for breakfast. I helped make some chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite~.” The door opened fully as he spoke to show a borrowed apron covered in flour.

“That sound great, Patton. I was just about to head downstairs.”

“I’m sure you were, Mr. ‘We need to leave at sunrise’,” Patton laughed and turned to leave the room. “Make sure Anxiety is up and downstairs with you. Don’t want anyone getting cold pancakes.”

That last comment made the smile on Roman’s face freeze and slowly morph into a look of confusion. “I thought Anxiety was already awake and downstairs with you?”

Patton stopped in the doorway and looked back at the princely side. “No?” He seemed to look around the room as if he had just looked over the youngest side. “I thought he was still asleep up here.””

“No,” Roman threw the red sash over his shoulder, “I assumed he got up before me and was already downstairs being his gloomy self. Maybe he simply moved to another room while I was asleep. My mistake.”

“B-but I haven’t seen him all morning since I got up.” Morality’s smile had disappeared, and a dark cloud of worry seemed to over take him, “Roman you don’t think he got-.”

Creativity cut him off with the wave of his hand as he moved past the older side into the hallway. “Impossible. A creature would not dare take Anxiety when we are on our own tale’s path. More-so, while I was in the room. I am sure he just went to sulk in some hidden corner that has not been checked.”

“But-.”

“Look, you can check up here if you are so worried. I am sure he will turn up when we need him or when we don’t. He is good at just appearing.”

Roman started towards the stairs but stopped when he did not feel Patton following him. He turned to find the moral side staring back into the empty room.

“Morality,” Roman sighed and walked back over to the other, “If it worries you so much we can search for him. He has to be somewhere in the Inn, after all.”

There was none of the usual over excited energy that Patton gave when he got his way; only the worried eyes of, what one would call, a parent as he turned to look at Roman. The older side gave a nod, “Thank you.”

The lack of excitement brought a small seed of worry into Creativity’s mind. Patton was attached to the anxious side, everyone in the mind palace knew this, but he was just realizing how much that attachment went. There could be a slight chance this was more serious then Roman wanted to believe.

“You can start with the upstairs. Make sure he did not just sneak into your room after you and Logic woke up. I will go downstairs to search. When you are done up here, we can go check outside if this place is empty.”

“And if we find him?” Patton asked nervously.

“Then we can all have a nice breakfast.”

“And if we don’t?”

Silence hung between the two sides. Roman shook his head and started to the stairs with quicker footsteps. “That won’t happen, Padre. Trust me.”

He did not give Morality a chance to say anything more as he hurried down into the main room of the Rainbow Otter.

The common room was a scene of morning peace, just as Roman would have expected. Logan sat at a table with a mug next to the book he was reading intensely. Marge was over by the counter, the girl looked tired in more then the physical sense. The conversation yesterday evening seemed to have drained her.

The sounds from the kitchen led Roman to believe that her father was cleaning up the dishes that Patton had left.

There was no sign of Anxiety. Not that Roman expected it to be that easy.

“Good morning, my friends,” the prince greeted them grandly, “How are you this stormy morn’?”

“Unenthusiastic to be riding in this rain,” Logic answered without even looking away from his book. “But the sooner we get this journey over with the better.”

“Ah, Logan, I can always count on you to give the longest of answers,” Roman gave a small chuckle and looked over at Marge. “And, how are you?”

“Fine,” Was her short answer as she busied herself with an already spotless glass.

“Good. Good.” Roman nodded his head and looked between the two.

It took a few seconds of awkward silence to pass before Logan sighed and closed the book to look over at Creativity. “Yes, Roman?”

“Well, you know I never wish to be a bother-.”

“All evidence proves contrary.”

“But Patton is a little on edge because Annnn-,” he paused and glanced at Marge. His mind worked quick to fix his near error.

“Anon,” the name did not sit right but it was all he had, “was not up in the room with me. I just wanted to know if you have seen him,” He moved further into the room and started to open doors to look in. The restroom was clear and so was the coat closet. “It is no trouble. I am sure he just hid away somewhere.”

Logan looked quizzically at the other. “Whom?”

“You know,” Roman made a vague gesture, “Dark, stormy knight.”

“Oh,” Logan nodded, “No. I have not seen him this morning. I thought he was still asleep.”

“Ah well, he probably just took a morning walk,” Roman shrugged and grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter. He rubbed it on his shirt to make the red surface shine.

“Was the window open?” Marge asked as she set the glass down.

Roman paused just before he got a chance to bite down on the apple. He thought back to the smell of rain in the shared room and the breeze that had pushed it in.

“Yes?” He answered slowly and put the fruit down, “But I do not see how that is-.”

“Was it open before you went to sleep?” Came the next question before Roman could finish his thought.

“Well, I do not remember it being open,” Roman confessed and shifted on the balls of his feet at the gaze Marge had him pinned with, “But… but it is possible he opened it during the night. He does have this thing against small spaces. And new places. And old places. Just life in general, really.”

Her gaze did not faulter and Roman felt his guard go up. She was obviously not amused by his ramble of information. The look that Marge had on him was one of accusation; like he had done something wrong. “What does this have to do with anything? Did you suddenly get a no open window policy?”

Marge shook her head and went back to her already cleaned glass. “Most of the people that disappeared were taken at night through the window. Just thought it is strange that you can’t find him and that the window was open.”

“Most,” Roman countered weakly, “This…this does not mean anything. I was there all night, I would have heard something.”

“Roman,” Logan seemed to appear at the prince’s side, “Did you hear anything strange last night?”

“What? No!” Roman stepped away from them both, “I went to sleep faster then I ever had. Did not even dream.”

Logan gave the man a look that made the prince bristle.

“If anything had taken him I would have known!” Roman insisted, “Look, he is probably just somewhere we can’t find him.”

Logic did not react to the “We cannot just discard the possibility that we need to rescue him just because you are overconfident in your abilities.”

Marge stared down at her glass, “Or not seeing as you don’t want to help us.”

Roman’s eyes flickered between the two people in front of him. He felt helpless. He wanted to help the little town he loved like the second family. He should have been able to protect a person he was in the same room with.

“Villains don’t get kidnapped! He is not missing!”

Marge put down the cup down with a clatter and glared at Roman with fire in her eyes.

“But should the dancers, or the baker, or the Tailor’s daughter be allowed to be kidnapped? They are all loved by someone and yet they were taken because something out there thought they weren’t.” She came out from behind the counter and poked Roman with her finger, “And you want to keep on with this quest instead of even trying to help us. You don’t even think one of your own is important enough to go after! Do you just not care for anyone?”

“I want to help you, Marge, I really do,” Roman protested, “But I also owe it to them that I complete this quest and get them home safe.”

“Can’t do that if you are missing one.”

“We don’t know that he is missing,” Roman stood up taller, but he still felt small under her gaze, “Plus we don’t have a lead, so it would be impossible to even start looking for anyone.”

“You never asked for one,” she stated and crossed her arms.

Logan put a hand on Roman’s shoulder before the prince could say anything else. The side stepped forward and placed himself between the two.

“Do you know where we should look?” Logic stared at the woman calmly.

“What!?!” Roman expected last night’s speech to be restated by the collected side.

“Only care because your friend is missing?” Marge countered harshly.

Logan sighed, “I admit that I was…” he paused, “that I worded my ideals the wrong way yesterday. I am not an emotional man and I was explained the full situation. Your situation is something that should take priority in Roman’s life since it is his responsibility. Now that one of our own is missing it is now all our problems. I apologize.”

Roman stared at Logic in shock. That was the closest he would ever get to having Logan admit he was wrong. If he was not so annoyed that his own view was being ignored he would have thought this moment special.

Marge seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and flushed slightly. “No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Your loss is just as important as mine.” She shook her head, “Gosh, I’m such an idiot.”

“Apology accepted,” Logan gave a small smile before he focused right back in on the problem at hand, “But I do think we should start on this rescue soon before the storm outside begins.”

“You are right,” Marge moved past them and headed over to the entry way wall. The two watched her as she took down one of the framed pictures and set it down on the table.

With a wave of her hand, they were both summoned to her side.

“This is a map of the town,” she explained, “Since the kidnapping began the old manor has been active. No one has really thought about it since mostly squatters live there but I have been keeping an eye on it.”

Her finger rested on the place that was labeled ‘Duke of Chicanery Manor’ in a neat, faded scrawl. Roman barely glanced at it as he followed the path back to where the Inn currently resided in the town.

“Chicanery,” Logan said the word slowly, “That word means trickery. Mostly in the sense of legal or political purpose. Interesting title.”

“Really, Nerd, that is the first thing you think of?” Roman grumbled under his breath and looked at the map, “This does not even matter. We have no proof that Anon is even missing. He could just be sulking in a corner somewhere. I bet this is all usel-.”

“Roman!” The sound of hurried footsteps came from the stairwell and Patton appeared. There were tears in his eyes as he clutched at something dark in his hands. “I can’t find him anywhere! All I found find was this and it is hanging in the window box. Please tell me you found him!”

The distraught side shoved what he had into Princey’s hands. The dark cloth was from the cloak that replaced Anxiety’s hoodie when he entered the imaginary kingdom. It was only a scarp, but it looked like it had broken off because it was pulled too hard to stay together.

Roman looked at Morality’s crushed expression when he did not get an immediate answer and then looked back at Logan and Marge. He pocketed the material and stood at the head of the table. His eyes locked directly onto Marge’s.

“What can you tell me about the manor?”

“Glad to have you on board,” Marge gave a weak smile before her attention was back on the picture of the manor. “The Duke used to live up there when I was younger, but he just disappeared one day. No one knew why or really cared to ask,” Marge said with a shrug, “But that does not matter. What matters is that it is the only location that could be the best lead.”

“What makes you think that the people will even be in there?” Roman asked as he broke his gaze away from Marge to focus on the path they would need to take, “They could be hiding in the woods.”

“I went up there,” Marge admitted nervously, “With Julia…after a few of her mother’s customers went missing. We heard things. It looked like someone had been staying there but we never saw anyone to confirm it.”

“Well, it could be squatters like you suggested,” Logan pointed out and then glanced at the path from the Inn to the manor, “But I suppose it is the best lead we have.”

Roman sighed and looked out the nearest window just as the rain began to fall. They did not have a lot of time before it would begin to pour, and their vision would be obscured.

“Lead?” Patton wiped at his face and moved over to look at the map. “What are we doing?”

“Staging a rescue for your friend,” Marge answered with an encouraging smile. “We are going to get them back. Everyone.”

“Yes, and I suppose we should not delay any further,” the prince sighed and stood up straighter and tried to flash them an encouraging smile to the three of them. “Our Dreary Damsel is in distress and these people have been gone for far too long.”

“You really think we can save them?” Marge looked up at her friend with hope filling her eyes.

“Of course. I am the hero, it is what I do.”

Roman did not have a chance to prepare himself before Marge launched herself into his arms. The girl hugged him tightly and buried her face in his chest. If Roman wanted to embarrass her, he would have pointed out the tears in her eyes. Instead he held back just as tightly despite how much his body wanted the hold to be gentler.

“Thank you, Roman.”

“Don’t thank me just yet, Princess,” he kissed the top of her head in a brotherly manner before their hug parted.

A clear of the throat broke the moment between the two and they both looked over at Logan, who now stood by the map.

“I do not wish to disturb but we really should not delay,” the logical side said, “I shall fetch whatever supplies we may need. If you could get the horses ready and by the door.”

“Of course,” Roman nodded and straightened out the white jacket.

“I’ll help Logan,” Patton said with a small sniffle and trailed after Logic as they moved to pack some more provisions for their journey.

Roman watched until they had disappeared before he started to the door that would lead to the rainy exterior.

Creativity wished it would stop raining but he could not will it to happen. His usual bend to the world around him would not listen to his desire. He tried not to let this worry him, it happed from time to time when the story got a little bit crazy. When this side quest had ended he would be able to focus his powers back into control once again.

He opened the door and stared out at the fat drops of water that were turning the dirt path to mud. His outfit would not stay white. He could feel it in his gut. What a shame.

“I’m coming with you.”

Roman turned around to face the inside of the Inn quickly and stared at Marge with wide eyes.

“You are doing no such thing!”

“I can help,” the Innkeeper’s daughter insisted and walked towards the prince, “I know the path to the manor like the back of my hand. I know who is missing.”

“It is out of the question, Marge,” Roman waved his arms in an ‘X’-like motion, “I have already risked one person on this journey and I will not risk you. It will be better if you stay here and take care of your father.”

Marge crossed her arms and glared at him, “You would not even know where to go if it was not for me.”

Roman mirrored her stance, “And I am grateful for that, but I am not risking your life and your father’s only child on this mission. Too many people are already gone.”

“Roman-.”

“That is final!” The prince turned on his heel and walked out into the storm.

He wished that the old Inn door could slam loudly but it just slowly closed as he trudged through the mud toward the stables. The jacket he had on stuck to his body as he pushed open the doors and let himself into the musty dryness.

The stables smelled like hay and poo. He was used to it but with the added humidity it made the royal scrunch up his nose in disgust. He loved his animals but sometimes they could just be messy.

Darling whinnied in greeting as his mud-covered boots made their way across the wooden floor over to her. The white horse looking perfectly content on staying inside as the rain pelted the roof over her head.

“Good morning, Darling. I hope you are ready for a ride.”

As if you answer him, the horse turned away just as he got to her gate. Her tail flicked as if she was offended he wanted her to ride in such conditions.

“I know, I know. I do not want to ride in this storm either, but this is of great importance,” Roman sighed and started to search for her saddle. “One of our own as been taken by an unknown enemy and we cannot hesitate any longer then we already have.”

The dramatic speech did not seem to sway the stubborn animal from where she was. She just ate some hay and refused to look at her owner. Roman held the saddle and glared at her back. He and his horse were too much alike sometimes. He loved and hated it.

“I will give you so many apples when we get home if you would cooperate with me.”

Darling’s ears perked, and her white head slowly rose from the hay to look back at him.

“I will not name numbers, but it will be so many,” He gave a blinding smile for good measure.

The horse clicked her teeth and fully turned for him to saddle her up. He made sure nothing was too tight for her to be uncomfortable but still enough to hold him in case of an emergency. Darling playfully nipped at him when he finished, and he gave her a mock glare in return.

Patton’s horse was more willing to be saddled then the royal steed. The chestnut colored animal did not even move as they were saddled and pet. They even seemed delighted to be led by the reigns out into the rainfall. Their ears were perked in interest while, in contrast, Darling’s were pressed back against her head.

The prince got to the doorway just as the other two sides stepped out into the morning air. Patton’s hood was pulled up over his head to protect him from the falling drops. Logan just allowed the water to fall onto his face and over his glasses.

Logan nodded to Roman as he helped Patton up onto the brown steed before he climbed up himself.

“We just have to head up this road,” Logan instructed as Roman climbed up onto Darling’s back. “It should not take us too long if the weather is kind to us.”

Roman took in a breath as the sky rumbled ominously, “Then let us get moving.”

With a flick of the reigns, both horses began to move down the muddy road out of town. Darling moved slightly faster to put Roman in the lead. Rain stuck his hair to his head and seeped into his clothes. He let himself move to the story that should be played out.

The prince and his party moved into the unknown to save one that they assumed was their enemy in disguise. Another road in their long quest to the Dragon Witch’s keep. It should feel like a great act of heroism…

But for some reason all the prince felt was dread.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #Growing Up Part of a Whole #creativity #princey sanders #prince roman #morality #patton sanders #logic #logan sanders #anxiety #virgil sanders #roman sanders #unedited #ROMAN'S KINGDOM SPECIAL

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