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zerochanges · 1 year

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2022 Favorite Anime

The year 2022 was an interesting one. I’d say it was bad but not all bad. I had a lot on my plate and once again it feels like I never have enough time to actually play or watch all the things I want to within the year. This year just like last year I am going to include stuff irregardless of when it came out, so even if it’s an anime from 2020, if I watched it in 2022 for the first time it will make this list. So without too much more pomp or circumstance let’s just get into my list of anime that I thought was worth talking about in 2022.

A Couple of Cuckoos

So I am starting off this list with yet another basic romcom, just the way I like it. Why not do something a little light and easy for the start? Yeah. A Couple of Cuckoos is more or less what you would expect out of the genre, but yeah, like I was getting at that is more or less all I really want; I’m not asking for a reinvention of the wheel for my entertainment, at least not all of it. The characters are all likable and the show is weirdly 2 cours, something not seen all that often nowadays, which gives you a lot more time with the cast. The slower pace and extra time really helps develop the protagonist’s relationship in a way that feels more believable, well as believable as getting switched at birth and ending up living with randos your whole life then getting engaged to the person your genetic family raised in order to “fix” that can be.

Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

Last year was probably one of the biggest highlights for the Boruto anime, really getting into the solid meat and potatoes of the series and covering a large arc from the manga, and this year … pretty much went the exact opposite direction—yet I loved it all the same. It was fairly obvious from the onset that the series would need another cooling off period so to say to distance itself from the monthly published manga material and give it some more time to serialize itself, so expectations for me where always set at tepid, but I genuinely enjoy the anime original content the series is largely comprised of.

This year started off on a very strong foot none-the-less as it went into a nearly 25 episode long story arc, one of the longest in the anime, that returned us to the Land of Water, something fans have wanted for years now. We got to see the return of anime favorite character Kagura, and a joint mission with Team 5, the often little utilized characters of the main cast. And then there’s the fact that Kawaki officially joined Team 7 with Boruto and crew, making this his first formal mission. Overall there was a lot of content to enjoy here, although I admit due to its length the arc drags a bit in the middle, but has a solid start and finish.

The following arc sees Kawaki take over as the central protagonist in an undercover mission to guard a noble attending the ninja academy, this was perhaps one of the biggest highlights of the anime this year for me, as it really helps shine some more light on our new deuteragonist and brought back a fun and whimsical tone. Seeing a character like Kawaki who had a very rough childhood; an alcoholic father, being human trafficked, and then experimented on, have to go to school with younger kids and try to fit in is in itself just a perfect premise for a story. It also deepens his relationship with his adopted sister Hima as she begins to attend the academy. This was honestly Boruto at its sharpest as far as anime original content goes.

The final arc this year was a bit wacky but just so out-there that how can you not have fun with it. Boruto essentially ends up in a SAW movie and has to survive all these trials to the end. Do people know what SAW is anymore? Should I have said Naruto meets Squid Game instead? Is anyone reading this anyways? Oh well, it’s honestly a lot of fun seeing what death games would be like in the Naruto universe and the large cast created (to mostly die) for this arc have great chemistry with our boy. The staff evenly finds a great way to neatly tie this all together with the main plot of the manga. I genuinely hope we can see a return of some of these characters in future anime original content.

This new year is already starting off strong, covering a Sasuke light novel and then getting back into the next manga arc so I am still really excited to follow the series after all these years.

Call of the Night

I was a big fan of Dagashi Kashi when it originally aired back in 2016, so seeing a new manga from its creator was very exciting. In general Call of the Night is almost identical to his prior series, it carries the same incredibly relaxing and chill aura with emphasis on character interaction. This is a vibe series, largely composed of dialogue between its cast, and that isn’t a complaint, I’d say that is a real strength of Kotoyama’s making interesting dialogue that flows naturally as a pathway to seeing the very soul of his characters.

I adore the night time only setting, being a night owl naturally myself—and the direction, animation, and general direction of the anime is incredible. This is one solid production, with easily the best soundtrack of the year. The name of the manga itself is taken from a song made by the Japanese band Creepy Nuts, which very fittingly ended up being used as the ending theme, but not only that they provide much of the music heard in the show itself, and they are all bangers in my book.

Cardfight Vanguard will+Dress

The inaugural season of overDress was a bit of a mess back in 2021, I think I may have said as much back in my 2021 retrospectives, but I’ll repeat myself here again. It was far from bad but it was awkward; probably down to the fact that it was only 1 cour long and trying to both establish the cast, world, and relationships the series will be founded on, while also being a card battle series—and it often had to sacrifice one for the other at times. The second season or cour of overDress largely corrected that and was where the series really began to shine for me, winning me over and making me feel confident in this new single cour a season approach Vanguard is heading in now.

The newest season of the “D Series” as it is being called now, will+Dress largely continued being a solid but a bit rushed card battle series. Covering an entire tournament arc in under 13 episodes is no tall order but they mostly succeed in what is presented here and have some genuine great battles as well as fit in just enough character development for a couple cast members that it doesn’t overwhelm us with nothing but battles. It wasn’t as strong as cour 2 of overDress but I was honestly on the edge of my seat during a lot of these fights, and Jesus Christ does the soundtrack destroy this season!

I never seen a card battle anime go THIS HARD before, for real! I have to mention this, I have been a fan of this genre since its actual inception during the mid-90’s and not once have I ever experienced anything as incredible as the will+Dress soundtrack. It’s just that good, a new standard for card battle anime music to follow.

Chainsaw Man

This is going to be difficult. I really don’t know what to do when it comes to accurately describing my feelings towards Chainsaw Man, if anything putting down into words all my thoughts and emotions have been part of what made me drag my feet on doing this list for so long. Chainsaw Man is a complicated show. Well really, no it isn't. But actually it is. It’s difficult. Let’s start at the very beginning since I think that would be for the best.

So for me Chainsaw Man truly began when the manga ran a chapter that featured the characters going to the movies. There they watched a bunch of crappy films all back-to-back and then finally at the end, after hours of countless garbage they see one good film. It brings tears to the protagonist’s eyes over how good the experience was. It was a fascinating and sincere commentary from an author about the movie going experience and what cinema means warts and all. Hell maybe it is even deeper and is about the experience of life itself and how you have to go through lots of bad but that there is still good.

Either way, I knew nothing about the manga at the time when this chapter went viral on twitter. I kept seeing it, and multiple takes on it, and even read just that chapter. It made Chainsaw Man seem like something special to me. And then that’s it. Much like everything else in my life I just never got around to reading the manga proper. Had some friends that loved it, and that one chapter about going to the movies left an undeniable impact on me. But life is life and mine always sees me never getting around to things I really should.

Years later the series gets an anime and I figured “Great! This is my chance to finally get into it” and what’s more it’s being done by MAPPA? “All right, those guys kill it.” And they did. When the anime came out it was highly praised and easily one of the most talked about series I saw on twitter during that season. I finally got to experience Chainsaw Man and honestly … I just don’t know.

Let’s talk about what works. The animation is stupendous, to a stupid point. Even just characters walking are insanely good looking, the most basic stuff, the most minute little things that don’t usually matter, they are all done as well as the big important battle scenes. The English dub is top notch, maybe even the best this year. The dialogue is incredibly natural, and conversations flow just like real life. I especially appreciate the F-bombs that occur fairly often in the series but never feel gratuitous, just another part of how people naturally talk. Which really impressed me since Funimation dubs tend to be far more squeaky clean and avoid the fouler side of language.

So what doesn’t work? It just feels kind of hollow, if that makes any sense? Maybe it’s the pacing. The beginning of the show is slow and not much happens, which I am not complaining about since we’re just learning how the world works and about these characters, but then it just kind of ends. Very abruptly. We take our sweet time, and for what? As soon as the show is getting into the swing of things it just stops. It feels hollow, almost like it was canceled. Maybe this is just the nature of the beast and how high quality productions work, we have to settle for less content that is higher quality, but another cour might have really made it feel better. When the final episode finished I just felt nothing. Just “that’s it, huh?” I wonder if there could have been a better stopping point in the manga, who knows.

I wanted a lot out of Chainsaw Man, there was tons to love, and I can’t honestly think of any other grade to give this anime than an A+, but damn dude, I just don’t know. Why do I feel so empty? Maybe I should read the manga, it might have the catharsis and energy I wanted out of the show but was denied. There’s been some controversy over this anime now that it’s over but I don’t want to contribute to it. I can’t help but feel conflicted though. Will I forever be chasing the high of that one viral chapter of the manga I saw all those years ago? Or am I overthinking it and just want more Chainsaw Man and that’s a good thing? I just don’t know anymore.

Digimon Ghost Game

I did not grow up with Digimon. I say this because there is a very obvious difference between people that did and people that didn’t. I don’t have this irrelevant love for the original series that came before nor even really that high of an opinion on them, and honestly I like when the franchise seems to branch out and try new things—and that’s definitely where Ghost Game squarely falls.

It’s not a perfect show by any means and it has a fair number of dud episodes that just don’t land nearly that well, but it is overall a much more interesting and easier to watch series than the last five or so years of overly indulgent nostalgia trips the series has been set on. At its strongest I almost feel like I’m watching GeGeGe no Kitaro (2018) again, and that is definitely not a compliment I give out lightly.

Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero

I had a lot of reservations about this film. I wasn’t crazy about an all CGI Dragon Ball and I definitely had trust issues with this series when it comes to promises of Gohan being important. After the Buu Saga, being a fan of Gohan is endless suffering. My boy has had more false starts and character assassinations than anyone else in all of anime. He really is the character Toriyama and other Dragon Ball writers seem to struggle with the most despite him being an essential core component of Dragon Ball. When I started watching anime Gohan was who I put myself in the shoes of. He was how I related to Goku and everyone else. I just don’t really wanna see my boy done dirty yet again by another false start that goes nowhere.

Well worry no more! Because the film looks fantastic, honestly there were moments where I forgot it was even CGI at all, it was that good and captured the look of a 2D anime that well. And the plot truly lets Gohan be Gohan again. Between him and Piccolo, the two are able to carry the film. It’s a great return to form and does a lot without having to rely on Vegeta or Goku. I love the charm and humor of earlier Dragon Ball shining through again in the film too.

More of this please. I absolutely would adore seeing these elements of Dragon world explored again.

Dragon Quest: Dai no Daibouken (2020)

The 2020 adaptation of Dai no Daibouken has been a dream come true for me. One of my all time favorite mangas, a venerable Shonen Jump classic, finally got the anime it deserved and it’s been so much fun. I can’t really comment too much more on this, Toei made an incredible, well paced, well animated, and very faithful adaptation of a wonderful manga. I felt like a kid again watching it every Friday night, and the ending is just as good as I remembered. If you missed it, Dragon Quest fan or not, I highly recommend binging the entire 100 episode series, you won’t regret it. This is one of the best that 90’s Shonen Jump has to offer, and done with the best animation today has to offer.

I’m Quitting Heroing

This was a nice little gem of a title that was exclusive to Hidive. A fun twist on the usual JRPG tropes about brave Heroes fighting Demon Kings, we have the titular Hero throwing away his duty and instead joining the demon army! The army he just crushed not too long ago. You see, after saving the human world from the Demon Army, the humans returned the favor by exiling the hero fearing him for being even stronger than the demon threat. Not taking that lying down, our hero has now changed sides.

This series has an insane amount of heart. It’s a very short story, able to be told in its entirety in its single cour season, and yet does so much with its cast. Learning the story behind the titular hero and what it means to “quit being a hero” and finding your own identity and reason to live. There’s a lot more stuff in this little simple funny twist on the usual JRPG formula than you would expect.

Kaiji (Dub)

After 15 years the Kaiji dub is finally here! It’s really hard to believe. How did it take this long to dub such a beloved series I’ll never know?! But finally another reason to rewatch Kaiji in 2022, I’ll take it! If anything, Kaiji feels even more poignant today than it did back in 2007 after two more financial crises and who knows how many recessions have occurred. Honestly every day since the mid-twenty-teens have felt like some absurd nightmare with the rich keep consolidating power and the middle class increasingly disappearing.

The catharsis of the scathing anti-capitalist themes in Kaiji are so needed today. Hell it’s really saying something when a scumbag like Kaiji is the most moral person in the room, money truly does something horrible to all of us. Seeing Kaiji’s moral compass time and time again come to screw him over when he could have gotten out of sticky situations if he was just as greedy and heartless as everyone else really speaks volume to me. It doesn’t help that all the gambling done in these death games are also incredibly interesting and fun to watch on their own even when you ignore the themes of the work as well.

Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer

Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer came out all the way back in 2005 and was one of the debut works of the incredibly talented and often overlooked Satoshi Mizukami. It was a fan favorite manga that sadly never got an anime nor a very widespread publication of the manga over here—with the volumes long out-of-print and often going for very high prices now. Yet somehow, for some reason, all the way in 2022, the series is getting a second chance, Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer got an anime! It’s not great though.

Yeah sadly, the anime isn’t exactly worth the 17 year long wait. It’s not awful by any stretch, and condenses the material of the 10 volume long manga into a complete and full story 24 episode long anime, but I can’t help but feel it could have been better.

Maybe I am spoiled seeing how well other anime productions have condensed materials, the 2011 Madhouse adaptation of Hunter x Hunter comes to mind, more specifically the Greed Island portion, that was a great adaptation of the material, and the recent JoJo seasons like Diamond is Unbreakable is another solid example of taking a lot of material and condensing it, 18 manga volumes in 38 episodes. Animes like these make Biscuit Hammer’s decisions and pacing feel a lot weaker to me.

Then there’s the animation, to be blunt it ain’t very good. All this screams to me that the show had a very tight and small budget and not a lot of staff. I imagined they didn’t really go out of their way to make this series a priory. It kind of reminds me a lot of what happens to Berserk animes, but thankfully it isn’t anywhere nearly as bad as that!

So don’t get me wrong, the general spirit of a great manga is still present in this adaptation. It’s a very unique and well written battle shonen and it definitely is a good enough representation of Mizukami’s work. I’m really glad it happened and enjoyed watching it. I enjoyed reliving this wonderful series again. If you like the anime even a little I do suggest doing what you can to find the manga and see it at its best. Might be a fun read after seeing the final episode. And hey if you’re seeing this on Crunchyroll good news, CR actually has a digital version of the manga on their CR Manga reader. Yeah, remember that thing? Remember how they tried to break into manga at one point. That was a weird time. Anyways enjoy.

Macross Frontier: The False Songstress and Macross Frontier: The Wings of Farewell

I’ll show my age and say I watched fansubs of Macross Frontier all the way back when it originally aired on Japanese TV in 2012. It was an incredibly fun time to see a classic series return again and the production quality blew me away, I never seen CG used in an anime that well before, despite it being such a norm now, it was not the case in 2012, it often did not blend well with the flat 2D animation and looked awful, yet the CG dogfights in this show were incredible, almost movie quality like. Hell watching these movies in 2022 I am still impressed. And oh yeah, I watched these movies in 2022 holy shit!

For decades it seemed like the Macross franchise would be stuck in Japan only, I don’t think anyone ever saw this long feud ever coming to an end but it’s finally over. Blu-rays for Frontier, Seven, and so much more are on the horizon, and we even for the two Frontier films to show in theatres over here! Just simply wow. That alone made this special to me.

Made in Abyss: Dawn of the Deep Soul (the movie) and Made in Abyss: The Golden City of the Scorching Sun (Season 2)

The first season of Made in Abyss was a breakout hit in 2017 and it was never a question of if there would be follow up content but when as sadly the manga is published irregularly. Finally in 2020 after nearly three years fans got Dawn of the Deep Soul, a movie continuation of the first season. I didn’t watch it back then, only seeing it now in 2022. It’s great. I’ll be brief since there’s a lot to cover but it is probably my favorite story arc in MiA now, and where the series really seems to be coming into its stride, if you ask me, someone who thought Season 1 was good but not that good. I’m really glad I finally sat down and watched this in preparation to seeing Season 2.

And without further ado, let’s talk Season 2. Also great. By this point creator Tsukushi seems to have a really good command of his series and is able to do a lot more interesting things with it. The Golden City of the Scorching Sun really presents something he simply could not have done earlier on in MiA and is maybe one of the most complex and well crafted narratives I watched this year. It definitely is the most thoroughly and well written arc of the entire series so far and the longest arc in the series.

I personally think I do prefer the more simple and fun Dawn of the Deep Soul, to me that was simply incredible and had the best fight in MiA occur, but damn if both that film and this new season didn’t impress me equally.

My Dress-Up Darling

My Dress-Up Darling is an incredibly well animated and crafted show, easily the best romance anime of 2022 by a landslide and it’s a shame that while very popular when it aired it seemed to have been forgotten about now at the end of the year. The central relationship between the two leads is just so pure and healthy. Gojo helps Marin with her cosplay hobby and is the first person to not judge her for it. And she in return is one of the few people at their school to see the positive qualities that Gojo possesses. The two are good together and it’s also just refreshing that it’s the popular girl that ends up falling for the guy for once and not the other way around. The two are great together and it’s adorable seeing their supportive side, the season even ending with Gojo staying up all night talking to Marin on the phone to help her feel better is maybe the perfect way to end a season too.

My Isekai Life

Okay I legit only watched this show because it was on Hidive. Being a smaller service they promoted it pretty hard and even gave it a dub despite it seeming like a fairly basic show. I mean dude, look at that name, it even has Isekai right in the title! Like what the heck. But despite this being a very basic and overly simple isekai series, it’s incredibly well executed. I found myself enjoying it every week. I don’t know what to say, maybe I’m a simple man, but the story was never boring and out of nowhere there were fantastic spurts of insanely high quality animation. Why? For a series like this! I don’t know, but the overall package ended up being a nice little show that always delivered every week. I even found myself looking forward to it. Sometimes good things can be something you least expect.

ODDTAXI (dub)

ODDTAXI was a sleeper hit when it first aired back last year in 2021–why it took so long for the dub to happen, who knows, but 2022 finally gave us the English version of this series and that’s what finally got me to watch it. The unique art design is easily the first thing you will notice with the anthropomorphic characters despite this being a mature murder mystery, and it goes a long way to help give this very well written series even more of its own identity. I can definitely see why it was such a well reviewed series last year when it aired and it definitely has some great ideas towards the end.

Sadly talking about it is one of those things that is hard to do, as it will lead to spoilers, but the basic premise is our protagonist Odokawa, a taxi driver, picks up various strange clients, each with their own mystery, and as we follow their cab rides we learn more about the greater murder mystery behind the series at large. I highly recommend not sleeping on this series like a lot of others might have, you are missing out on one of the best who-done-its in anime in a long time.

Shadowverse Flame

Two years back the first Shadowverse anime aired and I called it one of the best animes of the year … for all the wrong reasons! It was a legit mess with an insane plot that flew off the rails and became incredibly dark for some reason. Like the apocalypse actually happens and everyone dies in the show a la Neon Genesis Evangelion, that is something that happens in Shadowverse, don’t ask me why. Despite the apocalypse killing everyone, kids gaining psychic powers and jumping off skyscrapers and not being hurt, and also some part where the cast dimension hopes to the world of Granblue Fantasy because Cygames, I guess, the series got a sequel. And it’s … really good … for the actual right reasons!

Yeah, I never saw this coming, Shadowverse Flame is actually a really competent well made card battle series. I’d even go so far as to say maybe the best card battle anime that aired in 2022. It has none of the insane nonsense that its predecessor did, and actually took the time to explain all the core mechanics of the card game and have dynamic and really well written card battles. The overall plot is fun, basically amounting to a mysterious transfer student Light Tenryu, joining a failed Shadowverse club on the verge of disbanding and resurrecting it. Everything is … good actually. Really who saw any of this coming???

If you like card battle anime, definitely check out Shadowverse Flame, it won’t disappoint, and it isn’t batshit insane so that’s cool too.

Shenmue the Animation

I had zero hope for this toonami original when it was first announced. After all a ton of the appeal to Shenmue was the relaxing play at your own pace sandbox style it helped to revolutionize. I wouldn’t say it was the first sandbox title, there are a few early PSOne and PC games that are very experimental and essentially pioneered this genre, but Shenmue was one of the first big ones, and an inescapable part of the gaming landscape when it first came out. Sure it had a story, and a good one at that too, but the game play and insane attention to detail for the world it took place in is what it is most fondly remembered for.

But despite all that this series ended up pretty solid. Damn it honestly might be the best toonami original series yet, though that’s a pretty low bar. But the series is a pretty solid adaptation of the first Shenmue game, making some very smart decisions in reordering some events and abridging others, it’s overall a solid representation of the original game with the fights fully realized in a way the Dreamcast never could. The latter half of the series that covers Shenmue 2 is sadly a bit worstly paced however and it becomes obvious that the scope of that game was too much for the anime to fully handle, but it still ends in a satisfying manner.

Hell I had so much fun it made me finally, after nearly 3 years, crack open that Shenmue 1 and 2 remaster I bought and replay the games alongside the anime as it aired! So yes, let me tell you as someone that experienced both actively at the same time, this was a solid version of the series.

Spy x Family

The best way to summarize this anime is cute and it makes me happy. Okay that probably isn't enough, sorry. Found family narratives always get to me though and Spy x Family is one of the better ones I’ve seen in anime over the recent years. The premise of a Spy father, Assassin mother, and psychic daughter all living secret lives but together as one family increasingly presents lots of potential for stories, and it’s a rock solid production. The animation is always strong every episode and the character interactions between the central trio always present a solid through line that keeps every episode consistent and fun. Overall a great series with tons of heart and some good laughs along the way too.

Trapped in a Dating Sim: The World of Otome Games Is Tough for Mobs

First of all Mob means NPC in Japanese. I just thought you should know that, because the anime doesn’t care to tell you, even the English dub which really should have if they wanted to use that Japanese term. And yes, if you’re like me congrats now you know why Mob is called Mob in Mob Psycho 100, his nickname is essentially Mr. NPC boy.

I dunno if I would call this show mean spirited? It’s honestly very dark comedy based, maybe even meanly so, but it’s genuinely really fun and doesn’t seem hateful so who knows! The premise of some gamer boy being reborn into an Otomoe (female demographic dating sim) game as an NPC and abusing everything he knows to live the best life is already funny enough, but add that the game is also incredible shitty with bonkers writing, inconstant characters, and takes place in some nonsensical world, and it’s even better. Then there is also someone else in the series who appears to be doing the same but inserting herself into the main story of the game, taking the place of the heroine and wooing the bachelors within it, and how that changes the world is interesting.

Basically Leon, is a huge a-hole and hates everyone and everything in this story, but is able to still come out on top over and over again because of his gamer knowledge and it never gets old.

Urusei Yatsura (2022)

I adore Rumiko Takahashi’s work. Real hot take, I know, after all who doesn’t like the work of one of the most beloved creators in the entire manga industry? But yeah ever since I was young and just getting into anime I always found myself watching her series and reading her works.

For some people today a lot of her stuff might seem dated, maybe too predictable, too slow paced; afterall anime today is all about very fast paced and tightly controlled productions that get to the point right away, but for me I honestly prefer taking detours. I watch Boruto guys, enough said. So you won’t be getting much plot progression out of this newest iteration of her classic Urusei Yatsura, but you will be getting an incredibly well crafted and updated adaptation of a series that helped pioneer a lot of modern tropes still used today in anime and manga.

Plus this is just such a super chill series with some good laughs. I never fall out of my seat, it isn’t that kind of comedy, but I genuinely leave each episode with a smile on my face.

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun (Season 3)

Iruma-kun is easily one of the best long-running shonen series around today. Maybe that is an actual hot take, but I don’t care, I’ll fight you. It’s an incredible and well crafted world with very fun characters that all have great chemistry. Season 3 continues with maybe one of the longest arcs yet in the series and has been tons of fun seeing the Misfit Class take on the Harvest Festival.

I love Iruma being paired with Lead as well in this arc, it’s a great combination of characters and not what you would expect but works so well. Honestly the two of them are kind of the most pathetic people in their class when you really think about it—and that’s why it’s fun seeing these idiots in way-over-their-heads while the rest of their class are genuinely really bad ass in this tournament arc.

I would be remiss to not mention the unfortunate and untimely passing of voice actor Billy Kametz as well, who used to play Asmodeus Alice in the series. Billy was an incredible talent and an actor I loved to listen to in anime; ever since his debut as Josuke in Diamond is Unbreakable I actively followed his roles. When he was cast as Az I thought it was perfect casting and he gave a wonderful performance in the first two seasons. It is a tragedy that he died so young and everyone that knew him seems to paint the man as a truly kind and caring individual. The current replacement for Az, Stephen Fu, is doing a fine job and gives a fairly convincing voice match to Billy, but I can only imagine it is an unenviable situation for Stephen, as he seems to increasingly be casted to fill these roles for Billy.

Ya Boy Kongming

Ya Boy Kongming was maybe my biggest dark horse series of the year. It came out of nowhere and really wowed me. The premise of the great ancient Chinese war strategist dying and being reborn in modern times only to fall in love with pop music and using all his smarts to help promote a young hopeful singer fulfill her dreams is just so funny but played so incredibly straight and sincerely that it never feels like they are wasting your time. It’s surely a comedy, they definitely are having fun with the characters, but this is also equal parts a legitimate idol anime and a damn good one too.

This was one of the first animes this year that really helped showcase to me Hidive’s incredible curation ability post AMC buyout. They are grabbing some incredibly high quality shows. They still can’t compete with Sony’s almost monopoly of the market, or Netflix’s raw power, but they were able to consistently pick a handful of high quality really great shows every season.

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crazybigredlove · 2 years

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23rd August 2013

Dear Pete, Penguins. Love them. Always have.

There are lots of things to love about penguins. Their cute, short- leg, big-bum waddle is the same technique I employ when jogging; they're kinda funny looking but overall it makes them fairly aesthetically pleasing; and when two of them stand facing each other with their heads bowed it kinda makes a heart shape. The main thing I love, the thing that trumps all of that, is that they mate for life. Fairy Penguins find their partner and if they get separated - regardless of how much time passes - they never at any point stop looking for them.

In my lifetime I've known a few penguins. Sure the ship has sailed for me in terms of only having one mate in my lifetime, perhaps by, ahem, one or two, but I'd still like to think I am one. Just a lonely, waddling penguin in search of her very own penguin to keep forever.

I really love love stories. Love them. When fate causes two journeys to intertwine at the most unexpected time and then tears them apart in a sea of tears and comedic error timing, forcing people to recognise that happiness is relevant to the other character's presence is heart-warming; it brings so much happiness. The ones where with a bit of distance and a dash of heartache two people realise life is better when shared, those ones make my heart burst.

It is not the most logical or likely of things I've chosen to believe in, but then I still whole-heartedly believe that Katy Perry and John Mayer are going to make it work for real this time. Most of the couples I know who have happily made it long-term had to endure some sort of separation at some stage. Not always signage advertising impending doom (like when Jamie had to take that temporary placement overseas for a few months. Not to be confused with her kicking Ryan out for seven weeks when he cheated on her), sometimes it was just the way the world worked. Or maybe they thought they had feelings for someone else, or that what they had wasn't worth working at, or maybe they hadn't realised yet the true extent of their feelings. Most of those couples had some sort of mountain to climb where they had to step back and ask themselves how much the other one meant. I even know one pair of penguins who had to endure the pain of watching each other with other people till they both finally owned up to wanting to be each other's penguin.

There are these penguins I know: I like to call them your parents. They endured two years of being separated- including dating other people in that time - and yet no matter what life throws at them (including basically forcing them to pseudo-adopt me at the age of seven), at the end of the day they will both swear they only want to be with the other. What they keep coming back to through all of the highs and lows is that first person they truly gave their heart to.

For the longest time I thought they were delusional. When we were eleven and they separated for that short period and the games started, I thought that they were just obsessed with hurting each other and caught up in some sick, twisted cycle where they were addicted to the power plays and drama. When your Dad moved back in, as excited as I was, I never understood how that trust could be rebuilt or how you possibly put all that hurt and anger behind you, but somehow they did it. I thought they were crazy.

I don't think that anymore. The more I look at couples around me (the good ones I mean, not the ones who are hanging on by a thread, but those ones who truly want to be together) the more I really do think that when it's meant to be, the world (God, Universe, Ok Cupid, Tinder, or whatever app or greater being it is that determines these things) will make it happen. That saying about letting things go and seeing if/when they come back is told to us by older, wiser people for a reason.

So I am still sad today. I'm sad because at heart I'm a penguin and yes at times it does appear that I'm searching too hard for my penguin mate, but I am surrounded by penguins. Most of the people closest to me are those that signed up for the long haul and will move mountains for their penguin. So I want that. And I think that if someone didn't have that and they saw it all the time they would want that too. But I guess I gotta start letting go of the people who aren't sure if they are a penguin, or if they want to be my penguin. It would be so easy with Big Red to blame him and call him a bad guy, but the simple truth is that maybe in this new girl he found his penguin?

Of course there's also the possibility that he's just a dickhead who likes hurting people. Especially given that penguins would work through their hurt together rather than inflicting it on each other.

People are allowed to leave our lives. What we have to do is focus on the little things. Those things that make us smile so much that we forget that we don't have our own penguin.

Time.

The world is going to keep turning regardless of whether I sit here and mope or if I jump up and move with it. I have to believe that if someone is meant to be in my life then the roads will twist in such a way that our paths will cross again. The beautiful thing is that if those roads aren't meant to pass again, you hang in their long enough and you heal. You'll push forward. You'll let go. Then one day you wake-up, maybe you're still just a solo penguin, but the sun is shining and everything is okay. All that hurt and pain has gone, and nothing that happened matters anymore. Either way, in the end you'll be okay. The older I get, and the more I suffer on this penguin quest, the more I believe that. What was meant to be with you will always come back to you. You just have to have faith and be patient.

And now I am done carrying on like a highly neurotic person with a high amount of insight and a desire to be loved. I'm going to go slam tequila or play beer pong or party like a college girl in Cancun till I stop having emotions and writing like I'm narrating a movie based on a Nicholas Spark book. I'm so disgusted with myself right now.

Liv x

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elysianslove · 3 years

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Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely.

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk

being iwaoi’s surrogate

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child?

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #atsumu x sakusa #sakuatsu #sakuatsu x reader #atsumu x reader

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

#long post #twilight #twilight vampires #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #politics #history #twilight history #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #bella swan #renesmée cullen #jasper hale #rosalie hale #emmett cullen

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m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s · 3 years

Text

okay, so did i really write a whole one-shot, a whole 2,218 words on literally dancing with Hunter to a song from Cinderella?

uh, yeah, i did lol :) and i have no shame because this is the longest fic i have written to date, and i am very proud of it :D also, this happens to be my first fic with a female reader, so that’s cool :) i am actually really proud of my gender neutral reader x character fics, and i am so grateful you guys enjoy my writing as much as i do, it warms my heart to see your comments and reblogs, silly tags, the whole nine yards makes me so happy :D

also, i recommend looking up the slowed version of this song on youtube, and listening to it when you get to the dancing scene lol

enjoy my goonies ❤️🥰☺️

Hunter x F!Reader One-Shot: Hunter was not very fond of Senate events, especially ones that his team had to go undercover for. His hair pulled back into a bun, a formal suit that made his skin crawl. Long hours of waiting, only for nothing to happen, tiring nights forgotten within the next day. When he saw his princess in that lovely dress though? Well, perhaps tonight would be a night worth remembering.

Genre: BLISS, PURE BLISS, FLUFF

Warnings: Some weirdo dude trying to get you to dance with him, but nothing happens, kissing, but like I said, nothing crazy happens.

Word Count: 2,218 words, 12,007 characters

*Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the Star Wars universe, nor do I own anything relating to the Clone Wars universe. I do not own any characters, places, or things unless they are of my own creation. I also do not own anything in relation to Cinderella 2015, only my own words and descriptions.*

GIF is from @kybacrystal

Song: Le Valse De L'amour

(Proofread)

I know those feelings run deep under the surface, your eyes show the warm soul you have. Please, tell me everything, all the love and affection, and I’ll return everything into your heart just the same. - Moons

~ The One In The Blue? She’s Mine ~

Hunter had realized over the years that he really didn’t like people who were not his fellow batch mates or you, the people who he was around every single day. People who loved and cared about him as much as he did them.

Actually, he didn’t like anyone outside of his squad, period.

Especially when he received orders that he was going to have to take the squad to work undercover at a Senate ball to ensure the safety of the Senators.

His brothers always tried to calm him down, try to give him something to think about as they prepared for the mission. They would try to tell him that maybe it wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be, maybe it would be different from the last time they were sent undercover.

He never believed them though.

Well, that was until tonight.

It started as usual, Senators from all over the Galaxy coming through the golden doors of the ballroom. Flashy decorations of ruby reds, sapphire blues, and amber browns placed in all the right spots. Several crystal chandeliers twinkled with life as people laughed and talked the night away. Lights illuminated faces almost long forgotten, highlighting glasses of wine and champagne that were sipped from with care. Music playing at a medium pace, instruments strummed and keys pressed to create the perfect song for a ball.

Then there was Hunter.

Long hair usually kept back by his famous bandana, now tied up in a bun on his head. Little wisps that couldn’t quite stay framing his face, highlighting the warm, toasted fawn eyes that glanced around the lavish room. A charcoal gray suit donning a darker silk on the collar to compliment the jacket. A pale white undershirt closed at the top with a black tie, and a pair of slacks to finish off the look.

He couldn’t breathe.

The suit was too tight, itching his skin, leaving invisible trails of discomfort that burned deep into his skin. Neck covered in sweat, senses sporadic as he tried to stop himself from raking his hands through his styled hair. He gripped the glass of champagne in his hand tighter, knowing if he put more pressure, the glass would surely shattered into pieces. Eyes still searching, checking, checking again, making sure there was no imminent threat ready to rear its head into the lively event taking place.

He caught sight of his youngest brother across the room, chatting with a few Senators who seemed most displeased as they listened to him ramble about anything and everything. Decked out in a navy blue suit, goggles still framing his face, hands moving wildly as he explained something.

Wrecker and Crosshair were on lookout, nowhere to be seen in the immediate area.

“At least they don’t have to wear a suit,” Hunter bitterly thought to himself.

He continued his glance around the room, looking out for any signs of danger, taking sips out of his glass in hopes to relieve his inner turmoil. Women dressed in different gowns, all following the same design or pattern. The men dressed in suits similar to him and his fellow brother. People crowded in their own groups, only to move within minutes to another. He kept searching, eyes scanning everything until-

Hunter almost spit out the champagne in his mouth when his eyes landed on you.

You had come in later than the rest of the Batch, saying you needed more time to get ready, words yelled from behind the refresher door. They didn’t question it, telling you that they were going to get a head start. You had just told them to go, shouting that you would catch up.

He hadn’t even noticed you come in.

Oh, Maker.

Your dress was an open neckline, the sleeves of the bodice wrapped around your shoulders gently. Little butterflies placed delicately on the fabric as your collarbones stood out against the royal blue. More fabric going the length of your body, pooling out in a gown as it barely touched the floor. Layers upon layers hidden underneath the outermost layer of the deeper, true blue tulle. Tiny glitters that shimmered under the light from the chandeliers, hair donning the same small glitters. Skin that glowed from the twinkling of your dress, a smile gracing your lips as you gazed out into the crowd of people. A slow sway embracing your figure as the musicians finished the current song they had been performing.

A princess.

Hunter’s past worries had completely disappeared, focusing solely on you.

It was some other man who had sauntered up to you, clearly tipsy from the multiple drinks he had just had. Drunken grin laced on his face, an arm casually wrapping around your shoulder, though you were quick to duck away. He approached you again, words coming from his mouth that Hunter could hear as he stood only a few feet away.

He didn’t even know he was walking towards you, until your eyes met his at the sound of shoes hitting the marble floor.

“Come on, pretty girl, just-”

“May I have this dance?”

It was a soft, yet stern demand that had left his mouth at the sight of you. The soft smile you felt grow on your lips as you nodded once towards the Sergeant, your stomach flipping wildly up and down at the interaction. A disgusted grunt left the drunken man next to you, reaching to grab your other arm.

You were too quick though.

You had settled your hand into his instantly, allowing him to whisk you away to the dance floor, leaving the man in your departure. He was long gone.

Hunter was your only focus now.

He had led you right to the middle, a single spot open just for the two of you as others mingled around the empty space. As if you two were meant to be together in that spot.

A warm hand settling on your waist, a step of his foot that brought him closer to you. A smile so warm on his lips that the butterflies adorning the dress you wore fluttered straight into your stomach, flapping madly.

It was confusion that settled on your face, realizing there was no music to dance to. The previous song you had been so entranced by, only to be interrupted by that rude man. Hunter continued to stare at you with a loving gaze, not noticing the pull of your eyebrows in a questioning look.

“Hunter, there’s no music.”

He only chuckled quietly, another smile pulling at his lips.

“Just wait.”

It was then that the sound of the instruments finally ran out into the room.

They played softly at first, quiet.

Then it was the start of a sway. He led you of course, shifting from right to left with ease.

He moved as if he had been doing this his whole life.

As the music continued, he moved you out to his side, arm framing your waist for only a second before he roped you back into his other arm. The music began to pick up in speed slightly, his arm not holding your waist coming to lift your arm up and down, like a bird beating its wings. He moved it higher, sharper, removing his other hand from you, tucking it behind his back in a quick motion.

A spin brought you back into him, arm cradled against his chest gently, though he was quick to take it and twirl you away from him. Coming back as fast as you had left his warmth, only for him to take your arm gently as you faced backwards, casting you afar once again.

The giggle that came from your mouth as your dress swirled around you? Those butterflies from your dress must have swarmed into his stomach too.

You were grabbing his arm gingerly now, twisting away just to take a hold of his arm again as you rotated in a circular motion around the dance floor. It was quiet now, gazes all upon you as people began to back away, realizing you needed your space.

You broke from him, taking his hand in yours as you turned around to him, arms going up to the sky before coming back down to stretch themselves out again. Going around him once again, his hand leading yours to the ceiling before bringing it back down for a second time.

The music continued, louder and quicker.

You were in awe of Hunter.

In an instant, each of your hands grasped the other’s arms gently. You both were whirling around the room now, people quickly moving and stepping away to create more space.

Stepping a few feet, the slant of your head as it swooped in a graceful motion. Hunter changed the direction of your dance, still leading you all the same. Repeating the same steps, more laughter tumbling from your mouth as he took your hand and spun you around.

The music wound around the two of you, allowing you to step with ease as it changed and echoed through the grand room. Hunter brought you back to his chest again, only to cast you out to the side of him. Your arms poised, one hand laced in his while the other extended out.

Faster, pulling you in and out. Finally bringing you to his side as he held one of your arms out, the other hand placed atop your own at your waist. He pulled you back to him, hands holding your arms faintly as he spun you round and round for what felt like the millionth time.

You wouldn’t stop for anything though, no matter how many times you’d spun.

The swishing of your dress came to the crowd, people gasping in wonder as they backed up more, still watching as you two danced elegantly across the ballroom.

The smile on your lips was so wide, your cheeks began to ache with pure joy.

Hunter brought you back to the middle, spinning you out once before taking you close. Shifting to the right, suddenly grabbing your waist as he lifted you up off the ground for only a second. Your laughter rang out into the air, both of your smiles glowing in the dazzling light.

He took you out with one arm, reeling you back in. Hands grasped yours, spinning around like there was no one there. As if there could be no one watching, just a prince and a princess dancing through the night.

Perhaps you were meant to dance in the middle of the room that night.

He twirled you around, letting go for only a second, before appearing at your side once again. Repeating it again, taking you into his arms. Except this time, he fully picked you up, raising you up as your gown fluttered through the air.

Back in the middle, only to raise you up and spin you around. Coming down to meet his eyes, pure adoration staring back at you. His smile showed the elation that was pumping straight through his heart.

The music slowed, and he brought you in, arms taking yours.

A dip, him taking you back up in seconds, separating apart as you slowly bowed to the other.

A final beat, and then applause.

Shock was the first feeling you could register as people cheered all around you. It was as if he had learned this on Kamino, surprising you with a hidden talent that you didn’t know he had until now. Mouth agape as you tried to form words, though nothing could come out.

A chuckle and the warmth of his hand returning to yours.

“Later, my sweet princess. I’ll tell you later.”

He led you away from the dance floor, greeting Tech as he was informed that no activity had happened while he was preoccupied.

You nuzzled into his side, tightening your grip on his hand as the same drunken man from before appeared from the sea of people. Hunter felt your emotions change, and he looked up to find the same sight as you.

He took your other hand in his gently, gazing at you as he turned back to the creep from before. A sound close to a growl came from his throat as the man came closer, Hunter pulling you flush against him in response.

“You see this princess here in the blue? She’s mine.”

The kiss he leaned in to give you was so passionate, lips meeting in a flurry of heat and love. An angered yell, and the running of the man as he took away from the two of you.

Hunter pulled away to find your eyes still closed, a small smile on your lips. The ones he had just pressed his own too, showed that he loved them as much as he said he did.

“My prince,” you said quietly, finally opening your eyes.

He smiled, and dove back in for another kiss, your scent filling his nose. The splash of blue from your dress left his gaze as he closed his eyes in contentment.

His sweet princess in his arms at last, donning a blue so beautiful as the smile on her lips, remembering this night for years to come.

taglist: @loth-wolffe @dreamingofclones @ahsokasleftbicep @hellothere-generalangsty @and-claudia @monako-jinn-stories @teletraan-meets-jarvis @kybacrystal @dagobahbound @photogirl894 @eyecandyeoz @littlemisscare-all (please let me know in the comments if you would like to be added :)

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fantasydaydreamers · 3 years

Text

“The Burning Rose Part 2/3″ Boyband!Au Bakugou x Reader

Summary: Continuation of PART 1

Word Count: 4,992

Warnings: Angst

Author’s Note: When I first published this fic, I wasn’t planning on making it a series, but TBR is coming to be a 3-part series!! I want to dedicate it to @sarcasm-is-my-form-of-attack because I believe she told me that this fic is how she found my blog and she’s just amazing so thank you!! I hope you’re all ready to meet The Heartless Heroes again~!

Song: Lullaby by Umi ft. Yeek

Dating the lead singer of a boyband was hard. It's been months since you went to 'The Heartless Heros' concert and received a burning rose from the lead singer, Bakugou Katsuki. After the show and during the meet and greet, Bakugou's approach to you led to something you'd never expect. That is--his number and a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

Your cheeks burned hotter than the rose did.

Since then, you and Bakugou's relationship has been a secret. A part of you still felt like you had to tiptoe around him because you still viewed him as 'famous.'

Untouchable.

Why me? What makes me so special to be with him?

It was hard, but every day felt like a dream the way he sent you daily texts and pictures of his band practice or when he was in the studio recording. Your life seemed so...bland...compared to his but you felt welcomed and accepted into his life. Although his work sparked your curiosity, you didn't want to ask too many questions in fear of him thinking you're some weird obsessive fan.

You weren't. Well, you were a fan of him but you didn't want to give off the wrong impression and it was difficult. There were times when you two hung out and everything seemed normal where being a 'celebrity' or having a 'status' didn't exist. Moments like that even managed to make you forget who he was.

You'll never forget the day Bakugou picked you up in a truck, which Kirishima, the bass guitar player for the band, lent him. Why? Bakugou drove you two to a cliff overlooking the city below and set up a small bed in the back of the truck, an air mattress with pillows and blankets making everything comfortable to lay on. He even brought a small picnic basket for you two to feast on as you watched the sunset.

At that moment, nothing else mattered. You remember looking over at him, the orange, yellow, and red hues illuminating his face as he took a swig of water. The conversation died on your lips when you saw the angelic being next to you, staring up at the sky in wonder, a stray bead of water trailing down his chin. It was a rare emotion to witness on Bakugou's face and he looked like another person entirely.

'"What're you looking at, dumbass?" Bakugou had asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand without turning to look at you. "I can feel your gaze burning into the side of my head." His cheeks flushed a light pink which blended so perfectly with the dusk-colored sky. You smiled softly and reached out to grab his hand that had just put the water back off to the side. Bakugou tensed briefly next to you but accepted the affection when you turned your head again to watch the city lights flicker on. The sun was setting lower into the sky, the cool night air picking up and spreading goosebumps over your arms.

Bakugou must've noticed because he lifted the very top blanket the two of you were currently laying on and covered both of you, settling down further in the bed of the truck until you were laying on your back staring up at the now darkened sky. Being away from the city the stars were so much brighter and now you feel like you understood the wonder Bakugou must've felt. Realizing you have yet to answer Bakugou's question, you hum and give his hand a squeeze. "Do you think we still would've met if you weren't famous?"

The question came out as a whisper, a hint of sadness in your voice realizing that this whole date had been nothing but normal. Perfectly normal. Nothing was mentioned about his career until now, and although you didn't want to ruin the moment, you just wanted to know how he felt. Bakugou shifted next to you. You couldn't bother to look over at him but in the corner of your eye, you saw him prop himself up on his elbow as he stared down at you.

After what felt like the longest second in the history of time Bakugou answered. "Yes."

This time, you turn to look at him and see that even though he was embarrassed, there was a sureness in his eyes that made you shy away. "Famous, huh?" Bakugou scoffs, shuffling closer as he leans over to block your view of the stars. "Fame won't change me...the fuck do I look like?"

A sincere smile crossed your face which quickly turned into a teasing one. "Is that so? Well...I'll believe it when I see it." Sticking your tongue up at him, it wasn't even five seconds later when you were laughing and squealing at Bakugou to stop tickling you.

By the time both of you had calmed down, you were getting drowsy, overtaken by exhaustion, and comfortable with laying here next to Bakugou. Now side-by-side, stargazing forgotten, you two gaze at each other as he leans in close, keeping eye contact until he's just centimeters away from your lips.

"(Y/n). We would've met regardless of who I am. I would've never given you that rose if I didn't feel something that night I first laid eyes on you. As embarrassing as this fucking is...I'm serious and I promise that the shitty music industry couldn't change me if it tried."

Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he whispered those words against your lips, sealing the promise with a kiss.'

That was the night you fell in love and it was the last night you had a normal date with Bakugou Katsuki. The video of him handing you the rose circled the internet, reaching people who became intrigued. Overnight, 'The Heartless Heros' had grown in popularity which led to scheduled tour dates around the world. The day Bakugou told you, you felt your heart crumble the tiniest bit, your newly developing relationship being pushed back. You didn't even have the confidence to speak up about how you felt.

The was a big deal for them as a band. Something Bakugou had been wishing for and who were you to deny him of his dream. It didn't help that their record label became more strict and the time you were allowed with Bakugou became limited. His whole life became managed by other people and the promise he made you was hanging on by a thread.

It was the night he was about to fly out to the first stop on their tour, and he came over to your house thrumming with energy.

"This is really fucking happening, (Y/n). Who would've fucking thought that I would be going on tour? My friends and I together." He sounded so completely in awe, it just made your heart shatter more.

You offered him what you hoped to be an exciting smile and you continued to listen to him vent. He was currently laying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling as you tidy up your room, opting to stay busy because you knew if you laid down next to him, you would cry.

"...I'll send you pictures every day of what city we're in and record my shows for you!" Bakugou was still hyping himself up, but a sudden thought of him at other shows made you stop in your tracks.

"(Y/n)?" Bakugou called out to you, noticing you were no longer paying attention. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "C'mere," he said softly.

With your head down, you crawl on top of him and place your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. Warm. You felt so secure and safe in his arms which made you feel that much worse. It was selfish and you knew that but how could you not feel that way?

"I'm going to miss you," you mumble against his chest. Bakugou squeezed his arms tighter around you, rolling you two over to the side as he cuddled you close.

"Tsk. I'm not going to be gone forever," he replied, but you could hear the embarrassment in his voice. The only thing you could do was clutch his hoodie tighter, hoping he would understand you were serious. "I'm going to miss you too, dumbass," he mumbled this time.

It was quiet; his hand stroked your back as you bit your lip as hard as you could to not sob into his chest. Just then, it hit you. With him being gone for a long period of time wasn't the problem. It was the single most important thing that brought you two together in the first place.

"...Are you giving out any more roses?" Your throat started to burn from you holding back tears as that single burning question slipped out.

The hand on your back stopped before wrapping around you tightly, crushing you against him. "Is that what's bothering you? No, I'm not going to do that because I already have you." Bakugou murmured, leaning up to kiss the top of your head. "No one could ever make me give out another rose. I promised fame wouldn't change me, didn't I?"

The bright glimmer of trust in his promise dimmed just the smallest bit.

You didn't respond.

~*~*~*~*

🥀Babe: 'Fifth show! Everyone says hey btw!'

You smile down at the picture Bakugou just sent you. He was on stage, microphone in hand while throwing a peace sign, as Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero stood behind him at their stations, grinning widely sporting equally cute peace signs.

So far everything seemed like it was going well. You haven't heard any news of Bakugou giving out another rose and he did manage to text you often about what was going on in his life, but the amount of times he was cut off from his phone by management made you upset. At first, he tried to sneak out late at night when everyone was sleeping to call you but that just made you feel guilty. After a while, you convinced him that it was fine and to get some rest so he had enough energy to put on his shows.

Which, they were doing fantastic.

Not only did you watch the videos he sent you, but you also watched the video's fans were posting online. The fanbase grew larger with each passing day and the number of fangirls skyrocketed. Sometimes, seeing them talk about Bakugou online was too much for you to handle and you started to question if this was all worth it but then you remember the secret moments you and Bakugou spent together, and nothing else mattered.

It didn't help that there was another up-and-coming musician by the name of Camie who had recently expressed her interest in 'The Heartless Heroes' on social media. More specifically, an interest in Bakugou. This made both fandoms go wild, coming together to ship the two of them and comment on their posts for them to collaborate. It hurt. It hurt so much.

It wasn't long until you noticed Bakugou had followed Camie back on all social media platforms which made your heart sink to your stomach. You tried not to think too much into it, but Camie wasn't interested in the others. It was strictly Bakugou she was pinning after so that made you skeptical.

So you decided to stalk her page and look up her music and you hate to admit it, but she could sing. She had videos posted of her in a studio recording an upcoming song and even her singing acapella was amazing. 'Looking for a feature👀' the caption said and you opened the comments, only to see everyone tagging Bakugou and Bakugou only. You saw that Camie had pinned a few of them.

h3ro3s_fanatic: @HeartlessBakugou !!!! you would sound greatttt on this😩😩

cami.stan: omfgggg someone pls...get bakugou on this ASAPPPPPP😭😭😭

From what you saw, Bakugou didn't comment or like the picture, but him following her was enough for you to get the message. It was pathetic that you felt this way. This is how it was, right? Dating a famous celebrity only to have millions of fangirls thirsting over him while other equally famous celebrities tried to get with him? Whenever you felt like this, your mind strays to the memory of that day in the back of the pickup truck when Bakugou kissed you so sweetly that the world faded away.

The day he promised you nothing would change.

You had exited quickly from her page and decided to mute her account for your own mental well-being. Bakugou wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Right?

Brushing off your insecurities, you save Bakugou's picture on your phone when another text pops up on your phone from Kirishima.

Kirishima: Heyyy (Y/n) I have a question

You: yeah?

That was weird. Although you had gotten close to Bakugou's friends, it was strange to see them randomly hit you up.

Kirishima: The boys and I were talking and we have an idea👀

You: okayyyy...👀

What?

Kirishima: Bakubro has been moping around a lot and we think it's because he misses u~😉 soooo we were thinking about flying u out here as a surprise. What do u think?

Your heart rate sped up at the thought of surprising Bakugou and seeing his reaction. The media and your self-consciousness was making things harder with each passing day but maybe if you saw him again, things would be okay. Maybe everything could go back to the way things were. Maybe fame didn't change anything.

You: oh wow...yes please!

Kirishima: Great!😁 I'll send u the details when we buy the ticket. U have to fly out tomorrow though. We're leaving tonight and arriving at the next stop tomorrow so we'll meet u there.

You: ok!

The excitement was building up in your stomach so much that you couldn't sit still. As you get up to start packing your bags, you stop in front of your dresser and admire the burnt rose you had saved in a resin case. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you turn on some of 'The Heartless Heroes' music and sang your heart out as you packed.

~*~*~*~*

Kirishima had texted you that once you landed, there would be a chauffeur waiting with your name on a sign to pick you up. Sure enough, after you walked through gates, a man was holding your sign and you approached him cautiously. "Uh...hi."

"Miss (Y/n)?" He asked. You nod your head and he grins and motions you outside the airport. To your shock, a limo was waiting for you and the chauffeur chuckled, holding the door open for you. "The boys said they wanted to treat you right so I hope it's to your liking."

You wordlessly get in the limo and see a note on the seat addressed to you. The chauffeur closes the door and walks around to his side of the limo to get in the driver's seat.

'Welcome (Y/n)! I hope you were surprised about the limo, but if it's too much for you we're sorry! Blame it on Kami if you don't like it.'

You snort and roll your eyes.

'Right now your driver is going to be taking you to a music video set instead of the concert venue. Turns out Bakugou has something to do first before we could head to the show. But! We'll still surprise him. Just text us when you arrive at the set. See you soon!'

Music video? You furrow your eyebrows and think about what song they could possibly be doing a music video for. As far as you know, they haven't released any new music, unless Bakugou has been working on something and hasn't told you. Shrugging it off, you watch the city pass you by through the windows as butterflies start to erupt in your stomach.

What do I even say?

All this excitement and you haven't even thought about what to say when you see him again. I missed you. Well, obviously. How have you been? Too lame. I love you. Too soon? Did you forget about me? Of course, he hasn't. You were flown out here for a reason.

The limo slowed down as it pulled up to an apartment building, cars parked outside as people ran around outside. The chauffeur looks at you in the rear-view mirror and nods his head. "We're here."

"Thank you." Pulling out your phone, you start a group text with Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero and text them.

You: I'm here!

Deciding to wait in the limo, it wasn't even two minutes later that the three came waltzing down a staircase before sprinting to the limo. Opening the door you couldn't get out before you were tackled by three bodies in a group hug.

You laughed and hugged them back as they excitedly tried to ask you how your flight was and if you did in fact like the limo. Before you could answer, the chauffeur calls out to you. "Miss (Y/n), I'll be waiting in here until you're finished and then I'll drive you to the venue."

Thanking him again, you close the door and try to answer all of their questions. "Yes my flight was good, and I guess the limo was okayyyy~" You playfully roll your eyes and Kirishima and Sero shoot Kaminari a look.

"What?"

You laugh again and look around nervously, seeing some people stare at the four of you. "So...um what's going on? What music video are you guys doing?"

Instantly all of their expressions dropped into nervous ones. "Uh..actually...it's not ours."

Confused, you look at each of their faces, noticing they were avoiding eye contact with you. Sero sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, breaking the silence first. "We got a call late last night that Camie was going to be in this city at the same time we were so she and Bakugou could shoot a music video for the song they did together."

Time stopped as you took in his words. They did what? They actually did that song together? Bakugou didn't tell me this.

The three of them noticed your confused expression and they shot each other worried glances. This time, Kaminari chuckled and reached for your hand. "Hey! It's okay, you can surprise him when he's done shooting. They're about to do his verse right now. C'mon."

You were dragged behind Kaminari as Kirishima and Sero trailed behind you, giving each other a cautious look that you missed. Going back up the stairs, the four of you entered a long hallway that had more production staff with sound systems and lighting all filtering in and out of one room in particular.

Waiting for people to pass through, Kaminari poked his in and then pulled you in behind him, hiding you behind the camera screen that was focused on Camie. Even in the shadows, you could see how much beauty she radiated as she talked to someone on set. But that's not who you wanted to see.

Your eyes leave the screen and immediately find Bakugou who was sitting in a set chair. A low gasp escaped your lips seeing him dressed in a white t-shirt, a leather jacket over it with black jeans on. Chains hung from the pants and black biker boots pulled the look together. What really got to you was the famous eyeliner he usually wears during concerts that framed his ruby eyes so well.

He looks so handsome.

Your swooning was cut off as Camie cuts into your line of vision and starts talking to Bakugou, her hand resting on his knee as she talked. Noticing this, your eyebrows shot up and you were about to step over and say something until the man in front of you at the camera screen spoke up. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were standing behind you and threw their hands over their face in disbelief.

"Lullaby apartment scene take one! Places!" The set people scattered and Camie moved away from Bakugou, not before trailing her hand off of his leg which revealed him smirking at her. Excuse me?

Everything around you started falling away as dark thoughts, exactly what you were worried about, consumed your head. Your eyes couldn't leave Bakugou as he stood with his back against the wall, by a large window, the sunset pouring in as Camie took her place down the hall and out of frame.

The lights on set dimmed as a camera on a track moved down the hallway to where Camie was and you could see her on the screen. A familiar melody started in which you recognized from her social media account that one time and you so badly wanted to turn away. A soft voice carried from the speakers as Camie began lipsyncing on screen.

I know you're hurting, you're hurting inside

Know when you feel it, you feel it at night

Why won't you let me in?

Why won't you let me understand you?

Why won't you let me in?

Baby, just take my hand and

She slowly worked her way down the hallway as the producer and someone from video editing discussed in low voices on how they were going to edit the final product. Camie worked her way out of the hallway and your eyes flicker briefly over to Bakugou who was watching her with a glint in his eyes you didn't like.

The camera wasn't even on him yet.

Now she was getting closer and closer to Bakugou, who had pushed himself off the wall and stalked towards her. She turns before they could meet and Bakugou's arms wrapped around her waist which you turn to the three boys behind you who looked equally as shocked.

"We had no idea, (Y/n)," Sero whispers, tugging your hand into his. You look back and can feel the cold sweat start on your neck as Bakugou leans into her neck, Camie arching back into him as she finishes her verse.

Can you let me sing you a lullaby?

And maybe then you'd let me in tonight

Your heart crumpled.

She gracefully spins around to Bakugou and raises her arms, placing them around his neck as he begins his chorus. He places his hands on her waist, as they lean closer together, their foreheads touching as they gazed into each other's eyes.

Remembering what Kirishima told you earlier, you held back tears threatening to fall. It's just a music video, it's just a music video, it's just a music video...

Trying to convince yourself that this wasn't real, that Bakugou wasn't looking at her a certain way, made it harder as you feel another hand on your shoulder, not being able to look away. They look so good together...like they belong...

Bakugou opened his mouth and that familiar silky voice filled the room.

I've been cooking up a playlist

'Cause I don't know how I could say this

If love was a subject in school

Couldn't major in communication

Feelings (I don't want 'em)

They won't show

But when it's time to sleep

Halfway through his verse, Bakugou lets go of her and walks backward to sit down on the bed, moving towards the window, looking out at the darkening sky, smoothly adjusting himself in a leaning position. The cameraman zooms into his figure and you hold back your choked gasps as he leans his head against the window, finishing his part, a strange longing expression crossing his features.

You get emotional

You barely notice the camera panning back to Camie as she finishes the song. Your gaze remaining stuck on Bakugou as he absently kept staring out the window, his arm coming up to rest his chin in the palm of his hand on the windowsill. They picked the perfect evening to do this because his frame was lit up by the setting sun, making you think of happier times.

"Good! That was good!" The producer announces, making everyone erupt in applause. You watch as Bakugou doesn't move, a small sigh escaping his lips, his hand moving to mess up his hair. You're about to step forward to go surprise him when Camie comes bounding over to him.

"Katsu~! You did amazing!" She pounces on the bed and what you didn't expect was her to kiss Bakugou.

On the lips.

In front of everyone.

This time you let out a gasp, one of the boys behind you inhaled sharply. You back away slowly, your whole world crumbling around you as you bump into the wall, not tearing your eyes away from Bakugou who has yet to pull away.

Finally, a flood of tears comes pouring down your face as you turn and bolt out of the room. "(Y/n)!" You couldn't tell who called out to you, but somehow you found a fire escape, running up to the roof for fresh air. This couldn't be happening. Not this. I should've known.

Opening the door to the outside, cold air hit you suddenly as you tried not to cry out. Taking deep breaths, tears still fell freely down your face, not knowing what to do. How do I get out of here? I can't stay here.

You couldn't even get five minutes to catch your breath when the fire escape door opened behind you again. "(Y/n)!" The voice of the last man you wanted to see right now called out to you in panic. You didn't turn around and let him see you like this. Footsteps sounded behind you and soon Bakugou was trying to turn you around to face him.

"(Y/n)-"

"Don't!" You yelled at him, wrenching your arm free from his grasp. "Don't touch me."

Turning to look at him, you see him grit his teeth, panic clear in his eyes. "That's not what it looked like, (Y/n)!" Bakugou tried to reach out to you again but you gave him a broken look that had him pause again.

"Oh yeah?" You huff out a sarcastic laugh. "Couldn't have been part of the music video because I thought the producer said cut."

"It wasn't part of the video!"

"So it was real. That was real. Everything I just witnessed was real?! So what's your story, Bakugou? You think you can just keep me as someone to have when you come back while you get with all the girls you want now because you're famous." You spit that word out, glaring at him through your tears, feeling like a complete idiot.

"No!" Bakugou yelled out, making you flinch. "Listen to me that wasn't what you thought it was! Camie just-"

"Baku~! Where are you~?" A sing-song voice could be heard through the door and you laughed. You laughed at the irony of it all. Here you were coming to surprise someone you thought you could call your boyfriend. Someone you thought you loved.

Bakugou whipped his head around and immediately turned back to you shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all. It was dark out by now, the full moon illuminating the two of you on this rooftop in the middle of some city you never want to step foot in again.

"(Y/n). She just kissed me. I didn't expect her to do that I promise there's nothing going on." It was weird seeing him plead, inching closer to you like he wanted to hold you. "Teddy bear...please."

You froze at that nickname. "Don't ever call me that ever again." You take a deep breath, pointing a finger out at him. "Do you realize what you've done, Bakugou? I can't even look at roses the same because of you! Every time I see one in public, I'm reminded of that night you handed me such a fragile gift. It felt like you were giving me your heart..."

Which is now sitting in a resin box on display in your room.

You take a shuddering deep breath.

"And now we're up here alone under this beautiful night sky, just like before, and depending on how this plays out, remembering this moment might make me hate the moon and the stars permanently! Watch what you say, Bakugou. Don't ruin this for me too."

A single tear fell from Bakugou's wide eyes, the cool wind touseling his hair gently as he stood unmoving in front of you, speechless.

"Fame won't change you, huh? Fuck you, Bakugou."

With that, you walked around him and back through the doorway, tears streaming down your face. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were at the bottom of the staircase with anxious looks on their faces. Once they saw you were crying, they looked guilty as they brought you away from the production.

"I-I'm so sorry (Y/n). We wouldn't have flown you out here if we knew this was going to happen-" Kaminari started to explain, but you held your hand up for him to stop.

They all stared at you as you took a deep breath, your chest aching from the pain you were currently experiencing. A shake exhale left your mouth as you wiped at your eyes pathetically.

"I want to go home."

They all glanced at each other like they weren't sure what to say until Sero finally nodded and grabbed your hand. "Let's go."

The boys had escorted you secretly to your ride, and you could see growing frustration on their faces the more you shook with sadness. You did offer them hugs goodbye because you knew they meant well and they each hugged you back with a firmness that made you think of him. The drive to the airport was deathly silent, your chauffeur looking at you in the rearview mirror every so often which you couldn't bother to tell him to mind his own business. You felt drained and empty the unknown city flashing by your window in blurs.

All you could think about was how Bakugou didn't even bother to chase after you.

← Part 1

→ Part 3

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha #bnha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha imagines #bnha imagines #bakugou x reader fluff #bakugo x reader fluff

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1plus1kiyoomi · 3 years

Text

Chapter 7: Green Light

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note: i don’t know why i can’t edit chapter 6 so hopefully you reach this chapter

2 weeks.

2 weeks have passed ever since that night Yuta walked you home, the same night that you and Kuroo got into the biggest fight you’ve ever had. The doors were slammed, the remote of the TV flew from one wall to another, your voices were on top of your lungs.

Kuroo threw words he shouldn’t have, like accusing you of cheating on him. You even went on your knees just to prove to him that you didn’t. Apology after apology. You didn’t even know why you were asking for forgiveness when you did nothing wrong. He told you to leave, you should have, but you didn’t. You couldn’t leave him. You love him way too much even if he does you so wrong.

Kuroo has all red lights turn into green and you let him drive you insane.

But you’re getting tired of the ride that doesn’t have a destination.

——————————————————————————

“Just go see (Y/N) at her office,” Kenma tells Kuroo as the two are looking over files. “My secretary and her secretary are friends. I can ask for her schedule if you want.”

“Why would I?” Kuroo scoffs confidently and his friend deadpans at him. “What? It’s not like I miss her or something.”

“You’ve been writing her name and scratching over it like a teenager going through a heartbreak. I thought the two of you made up already?” Kenma rebuts and the raven head pouts.

“We did.” Kuroo continues to read the document, trying his best not to get distracted by invasive thoughts of you. ‘But she isn’t chasing after me like she used to.’

You really have been different. Yes, you still message him and act sweet around him, but it seems like you’re forcing your actions, especially sex. Whenever you have time to go home, you two only do the deed, then sleep, and then he wakes up to an empty bed again.

Sex is good, great even. Kuroo loves doing it with you. But it isn’t enough. When was the last time you went on a date? Or ate a meal together? Or talked about your days? When was the last time you told him you love him?

“So why are you moping around?”

‘Because I miss her,’ Kuroo’s inside thought speaks in volume. He really does miss you but he can’t say it out loud. “I don’t know man. I guess because of work.”

“But aren’t you here with me because you barely have work to do?” Kenma says in an almost teasing tone. Kuroo just rolls his eyes and ignores his friend. Oh how the tables have suddenly turned. Kenma is the one teasing him now.

Kenma then realizes that Kuroo has finally started caring about you.

Kuroo arrives at your workplace earlier than your meeting time because he’s that excited to see you. He even bought flowers for you and pastries for your workmates. It’s his way for thanking them for taking care of you at your work. Also, it’s to let them know that you’re together so they stop shipping you with other people.

“Oh, Kuroo, you’re here,” Terushima greets him as they meet in the lobby. “(Y/N) has an emergency photoshoot today so I guess it’s your lucky day.”

“Photoshoot for what?” Kuroo raises an eyebrow as he follows Terushima inside the studio of your office. There are big lighting equipments, a huge white backdrop in the room, and a lot of wedding dresses.

“For our wedding dresses catalogue. Usually, Alisa does it but she’s sick today so (Y/N) has to take her place,” Terushima explains and Kuroo nods in comprehension. “I think she’s preparing for the last dress already so you don’t have to wait long for her to finish.”

Terushima gives Kuroo a chair he can sit on and directs him to a spot where he can see you while you shoot. While waiting for you, he hands out goodies to your coworkers, bowing and thanking each one of them.

Not long after, you come out in a white tulle ball gown with white flower petals on the bodice and ends of the dress. Your hair and makeup done bridal style: subtle, elegant and will surely take the groom’s breath away. Kuroo doesn’t know why but his breathing pattern suddenly changes and his heart beat picks up a rather speedy pace.

You literally and figuratively took his breath away.

‘I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack,’ Kuroo thinks without knowing that he has a sweet smile on his face. His eyes are staring at you in admiration, maybe even in a loving way. You just look too gorgeous in that dress it makes him wonder what you’d wear in your wedding if you even had one.

Come to think of it, what would you like your whole wedding to be?

The man is getting flustered just thinking about your wedding day. You’ll have one soon, right? It’s working out for the two of you so there definitely will be one. Or so he thinks that it’s working out for the two of you.

“Kuroo?”

“Kuroo.”

“Kuroo!”

“Yes?” Kuroo finally snaps out of his thoughts and sees Terushima smirking at him. “What?”

“You’re staring too much,” the blonde chuckles. He expects Kuroo to deny it and such so he gets shock when the raven states...

“Why wouldn’t I? My wife looks mesmerizing.” Kuroo continues to watch your shoot, his attention only on you and no one else. You finally see him, so you flash him a sweet smile and flirty wink before focusing back to your work.

Kuroo giggles with a blushing face which causes Terushima to laugh at his reaction. Terushima teases him so he hits Terushuma, telling the blonde to stop teasing him. “You are such a simp!”

The two of them are having butterflies in their stomachs because they’re lowkey like teenage girls, giggling and whispering to each other with blushes on their face, talking about the love of their life. If you’re looking from a far, you would never know what they are talking about.

The shoot finally ends and your secretary tells Kuroo to wait for you at your office. He does as told and roams around your workplace while he waits. He finds your little bedroom and sees some of your belongings in there. It must be where you sleep when you finish work when trains stop operating for the day.

Kuroo hears your door open so he gets out of the tiny room and skips to you, hugging you tightly in the middle of the room. He takes a look at your face and then tackles it with kisses, enabling you start a proper conversation.

“I missed you.”

Kiss.

“I missed you.”

Kiss.

“I missed you so much.”

Kiss.

“Tetsu, love,” you call him out in between giggles, your hands trying to cup his cheeks for him to stop, but he captures your lips with his first. Your eyes flutter close and give into his actions.

“You looked so beautiful in that dress, my love. Makes me wanna marry you again.”

You’re supposed to be happy hearing his words. Your heart should be jumping out of your rib cage by now. So why can you feel yourself forcing a smile?

“Love, do you mind if I ask you a question?” Kuroo asks you, his arms snaking around your body, nuzzling his nose on the crook your neck. You just humm, eyes closed, fingers tangled into his hair.

“What’s your ideal wedding?”

Your lids shut open from his question. “All of a sudden?”

“I just got curious.” Kuroo shrugs, waiting for your answer. He’s ready to take mental notes and use it when you plan your wedding.

“I’ve never thought about it,” you answer honestly. Kuroo moves away from you and stares, not believing the words that came out of your mouth. “What? I always knew I was getting arranged so I never thought about having my own wedding.”

“You’re a wedding planner and you never dreamed about your own wedding?” Kuroo is skeptical about your statement and he also feels disappointed?

You’ve never thought about your wedding? As in the ‘you as the bride and him as the groom’ wedding? Has it really not passed your mind even just for a second? Because that was all he was thinking about when he saw you in that wedding dress and up to this moment.

“I just don’t see myself having my own wedding,” you explain, not sparing a glance at his disheartened face.

“Not even with me?” He says without thinking, which you look at him for. You examine his face and see how he genuinely looks discouraged about your words. Not understanding why is he so hurt about your words, you cock an eyebrow at him.

“We’re married.”

“But we haven’t had a wedding ceremony. I personally think it’ll be great to have one,” Kuroo says as if it’s not a big deal, but deep inside he is making a huge fuss about it. He’s indirectly proposing to you and if you turn it down, his heart will shatter to pieces.

“Let’s see after our trying period,” is all you responded. Your response breaks him. You haven’t decided if you’ll stay with him?

He can feel his chest tigthen and hand sweat. Why are you saying that when months ago you were speaking about how much you love him? Why are you saying that when weeks ago you were begging him to forgive you?

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

——————————————————————————

Facts:

The idea of signal lights was first used on railroads to prevent trains from colliding. These signals were then adapted all over the world and used in roads since it worked so well.

The original pattern was red for danger, green for caution, and white to go. However, since white could have been easily missed against a starry sky so then it was changed to the green, yellow, and red we know of now.

The first constructed roads date from about 4000 BC

Roman roads were often stone-paved.

The Pan-American Highway is the longest roadway in the world, spanning around 19,000 miles or 30,000 kilometers

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Taglist: @postsfromthe6 @elianetsantana @chaelysian @kiyobbie @lilxstan @moonlightaangel @oh-hey-its-a-simp @kellesvt @karasuqueen @starry-magicshop @stantalentstanunderratedgroups @mint-mai @torilovestowrite @faithmoonxd @agaashesmilktea @birdiewolf @yeibuub @maitenight @ashhhh26 @kageyamasgirl @tnu-ree @avatarkyoshithewarrior @kurokawa-aida @dabisdominion @chanayah @sevenseoul @marissaraeblr @amlnadya @weebintheinternet @shizukusimp @madmelle @soullesstaco @merrdlp @kouholic @kiyoomi-channie @kageyuh @kaachanultra @sabzhabib @134340-cm @toripersonalacc @itsimjaebeomsforehead @todobruhski @graykageyama @coconut-dreamz @rienin @dawnsbaby @kagebunshiin @heavenini @d-efend @porcolie

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu series #kuroo tetsuro smau #kuroo x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsuro fanfiction #kuroo smau

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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

1K notes · View notes

harrywritingsbyme · 4 years

Note

So I’m a dark skin girl and I always wonder is Harry gets involved with women that are not white skinny tall blonde model like all his exes. Can u write something about that? Maybe they are friends but reader is into him but keeps us to herself cause she is sure he only date the same type of girls.

Feelings

A/N: I really needed and wanted to write this one. I feel like us chocolate girlies can be a bit left out some times, and it sucks. So I want to do/write more things that are specifically tailored to us black girls because we need to see and read more of it. Also, I don’t want this to be a thing where it’s putting anyone down or being melodramatic towards things that are at the end of the day out of our control. But this is just the way that some people (including myself at times) feel, and everyone should be aware of this. I did made sure that there is something in here that everyone can relate to in some way. So I hope you guys enjoy🙃

4.5k Words

You rarely opened up. Most of your relationships were surface level, and you never fully expressed yourself the way that one would normally. For the longest time, even since you were a child, you never fully opened up to anyone. You would just go about your normal routine as if everything were fine, and bottle up everything you were feeling. Even when you were going through some of the worst times of your life, you still managed to keep face and put on a display of being okay, even though you were on the verge of dying inside. Still, you were able to get through most of your life like this and you were fine with things being the way they were. That is, until a certain someone fell into your life.

When you first met Harry, it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though you still had your wall up and didn’t feel the urge to fully express yourself, you still felt like you could come to him with everything if you wanted to. He was just like the other people you’d met in the past who were nice and willing to get close to you. But at the same time, he still managed to be different than anyone you’d met in the past. You felt a sense of closeness to him that you couldn’t readily explain and that was unlike anyone you’d met before. He made you want to express yourself and release all of the emotions you had pent up inside of you for what felt like forever. It was like he was the person that you needed in your life who could draw out these things out of you. And after a period of time, he was in fact able to do this.

At first, you were beyond anxious to be open and honest to someone about your feelings. But over time, the wall you’d built began to come down and you just allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Harry. And he was able to do the same. You both were able to lower your guards around each other and actually be free. The two of you were able to create a strong and solid friendship that would span across almost 3 years. Whenever something happened in each others lives, you both were each others first call. It was a friendship that neither of you wanted to take for granted. And you both, especially you, made sure to appreciate every moment and each other.

Your appreciation for Harry went a bit deeper though.

You guys’ overall dynamic in the past year hadn’t changed at all. You two still did just about everything together and had a great time in each others company. It was your personal flow that had undergone a drastic change. You began to develop feelings that had gone far beyond the boundary of being platonic. They’d grown to be something beyond the scope of a simple camaraderie. You started to develop romantic feelings for your best friend. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, it was normal for someone to develop these feelings towards a person they spent a lot of time with and are close to. It was just that the success rate for transitioning out of a loving, close, and healthy friendship to a loving, romantic, and healthy relationship was slim to none. And for you and particular, you felt like your chances were in the negatives.

It’s already a rough thing to deal with when you find out that the person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same way towards you. But these pangs of rejection are on a completely different level when you realize that you’re not even their type. Now you didn’t know for a fact what Harry’s “type” was. You’d asked him on separate occasions and his answer was always the same. He’d simply tell you that “if somethings there, then it’s worth a shot”. And you’d always respond with a “that makes sense”, deciding to not go there all together. Even though he said that he didn’t have a type, you knew that in his subconscious, he did in fact have one. There were things about you that didn’t at all align with his exes as a whole. If you had to be blunt, you weren’t skinny, tall, blonde, and white. You were a thick, average in height, dark haired, dark skinned, black woman. The differences between the two were uncanny and that was perfectly fine. You welcomed and celebrated everyones differences. And so did Harry; when it wasn’t his love life.

He just didn’t venture out into other things when it came to his love and personal life. You could honestly say that this was true because you watched it all from the sidelines. You were a bystander and sounding board to Harry during his most recent relationship, and just in general. You recognized the pattern in the women he’d choose to pursue. You’ve even seen in the magazines and on the internet, the people he’d been involved with in the past. And they all were extremely similar.

Seeing all of this made you think that something was wrong with you. What made them so special? You just wanted him to look at you the same way he looked at them. Developing all of these newfound feelings caused you to begin to slip back into your old ways. You began holding in and internalizing everything when it came to this. You’d put on a brave face and act as if everything was okay. You were putting all of your energy into making Harry believe that you were fine. And you successfully did that. He had no clue as to what and how you were feeling, and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you wanted to do was lose the person who not only you cared deeply about, but the person who cared deeply about you. You couldn’t lose your best friend.

This endless cycle went on for months. You kept these feelings to yourself and you just kept things going. You hated doing this, but it was what you thought was the best for you. You hated the thought of losing Harry over this. But at the end of the day, you could only take but so much. You could relate this entire thing to a sponge. It takes in all the water it possibly can and eventually, little drops will begin to spill out when it’s reached its maximum capacity for water. You were the sponge. You had been internalizing or harboring all of these feelings for such a long period of time that eventually you were going to reach your tipping point. It was going to get to a place where you’d have to release all of it and tell Harry how you truly felt. And you really wanted to do that. In the past, talking about your feelings was something that you tried, and eventually swore you’d never do. You even tried therapy, but it just wouldn’t work for you. But with Harry, you wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt. So keeping this inside for so long after not holding it all in for a little over two years was a definite struggle.

In all of this though, you had no idea that the struggle you faced in holding everything inside was nowhere near the level of struggle you faced when you finally let it all out.

The end of the week had finally came which meant that it was you and Harry’s night to hang out and talk about you guys’ week…even though you two talked just about everyday. This just gave you two an excuse to hang out. After you two made and ate dinner, you two decided to head outside and sit by the pool to enjoy Harry’s view and watch the sunset. The conversation between the two of you seamlessly bounced from subject to subject, and it managed to bounce all the way to relationships.

“Any hot dates comin’ up?” Harry asks beside you, taking another swig from his glass of wine.

“No. None that I know of at least. You?” You reply, redirecting the question back to him.

“Me neither, but I have been talking to someone for the past couple of days.” Harry replies.

“And you haven’t told me this?! As your best friend, I feel offended.” You joke with him, sitting up from the chair to get a better look at him.

“Don’t be offended, you’ll always be my number one.” Harry coos with a laugh. “It’s nothing major or serious I guess.” He continues.

“Got a picture?” You ask. Asking him this was a big mistake.

“I think so.” Harry replies, pulling his phone out of his pocket. After a few seconds, he hands the phone over to you and there it was. A girl who looked exactly like everyone else he’s dated.

“Oh, she looks just like everyone else you’ve dated.” You hum amusedly, handing the phone back to him. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have said that. But you had a pretty good buzz going from the drinks Harry made, and the glass of wine you were currently working with. So your lips were a little bit looser than normal.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks with a very confused tone.

“No offense, but she looks like most of your exes.” You repeat, thinking back to the picture Harry just showed you.

“No she does not.” Harry says adamantly, brushing off your comment.

“It’s okay Harry, we all know that you have a type.” You softly laugh. You were only teasing him...right?

“I do not have a type Y/n! Where is this coming from?” You could hear in his voice that he was genuinely confused.

“This is coming from your best friend who’s seen you in a relationship with someone who not only looks like the girl you just showed me, but also girls before her.” You explain.

“Well tell me these similarities because I’m still not following.”

“Tall, skinny, blonde, and-“ You didn’t even think about the last and final one before saying it. “white.” You finish, listing off every last similarity.

“No they’re no-“ Harry couldn’t even finish his own sentence. He realized that it was in fact true. He didn’t know why he’d never seen the pattern before. He also couldn’t wrap his head around why you were so up and arms about it. When he looked at you, he could tell that you weren’t feeling the best about this conversation. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or him just being really bad at comprehension. He just wanted to make sense of it all and where it was coming from.

“Can you honestly say that I, or anyone that looks like me for that matter would have an equal shot at being with you?”

There it was. The crazy thing about it all was that the question you just asked him, wasn’t even the bulk of what you really wanted to tell him. You weren’t even expecting to talk to him about this at all. You thought that you’d have a little bit more time to collect your thoughts, but all of this came completely out of left field.

Asking Harry that question, along with the entire conversation in general was like stabbing yourself in the heart. It wasn’t even a full conversation and you were already dying inside. Every second of silence from Harry that went by was like a twist to the knife that was already buried inside you. You wanted to blame Harry for the horrible way you were feeling, but you couldn’t. You wanted to blame yourself for even bringing it up, but you couldn’t do that either. All you could do was sit there and try your best to muster up the tiniest bit of strength to pick yourself up and leave. Your body felt extremely heavy and you just wanted to get out of there.

Without uttering a single word to Harry, you finally pick yourself up and you walk away from him and the entire situation. Harry was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that he did in fact have a type, but seeing you walk away from him like that crushed him. He felt like you were not only walking away from him, you were also walking out of his life. He felt absolutely crushed and completely helpless. He was all alone. He had so many thoughts and feelings running around in his head that he couldn’t even chase after you to help him figure them out. And by the time he would finally build up the strength and courage to go after you, you would’ve already been gone.

When you walked back into the house, you didn’t waste any time gathering your belongings that you’d brought with you before leaving out the front door. Since you were drinking, you decided to just call an Uber and just come back to get your car in the morning. For the next 5 minuets, you just stood outside Harry’s home. Staring blankly at whatever was around, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes, and trying to take your mind off of everything.

You were so glad that the driver wasn’t trying to engage in a conversation with you because you weren’t in the mood at all. You just wanted complete silence. If you were to talk, you were going to burst into tears. And the last thing you wanted to do was permanently scar your Uber driver, so you decided to just stay silent.

When you finally got to your building, you rushed out a quick thank you to the driver and you sprinted through the building and up to your apartment. The moment you stepped foot inside was the first time you breathed in the past two hours. As soon as you shut your front door you just collapsed into a heaping pile of tears. You were pretty much sobbing against your front door. This was the worst you’d ever felt in a really long time. You felt a mixture of anger, sadness, and pain. This was one of the sole reasons why you hated letting people in. Bringing those walls down meant that you were exposed and vulnerable. You had no defense what so ever. You tore those walls down just to have someone tear you apart, and leave you to pick up the pieces. You were torn apart by the person you needed the most.

While you were at home bawling your eyes out, Harry was still wrapping his mind around what you said and what he didn’t say. The buzz he once had going was now gone, and his mind was all over the place. He didn’t even move from where he was sitting. He just sat outside and thought about it all. Harry realized that he not only had a type, but you had feelings for him. He thought that you only considered him to be a close friend and nothing more. But when you said “I, or anyone who looks like me…” he was able to read in between the lines to understand that you were mainly talking about yourself. It crushed Harry even more when he thought about the possibility of you not thinking that you were good enough for him. Simply because of his “preferences”, that were unbeknownst to him from the past. The fact that he made you feel this way was beyond gut wrenching and he just wanted to go back in time and tell you that the only type he has is you. That was one of the reasons that he clung to you the way he did. He looked to you as the model of what he could ever want in a partner. He always looked to you for your opinions and guidance because you were one of the best people that had ever came into his life. But instead of saying all of this, what he truly felt deep down, he didn’t say anything at all. He let you slip out of his grasp, and he didn’t know how to get you back. He didn’t even know if he was going to get you back. In that moment, he realized that his love for you went way beyond the general scope of being best friends. It wasn’t until 2 am that Harry was able to pick himself up from the lounge chair outside and go upstairs to bed. And even then, he still felt horrible. He was numb. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t end up going to bed until 5 am because he couldn’t stop crying and worrying. What made him completely break down was the fact that he couldn’t even call you. He couldn’t talk to the one person that always helped him through his dark times and picked him up. He knew what it was like to hit rock bottom, but this was an all-time low for Harry.

That night was officially at top of the list for the worst nights of you and Harry’s lives.

The next day was just as bad, if not worse than the last. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Harry couldn’t even get out of bed. The both of you were a mess and you didn’t know what to do. You avoided any type of communication with each other. The only time you and Harry interacted was to tell him that you were using the gate code to get your car from his driveway. After that, there was radio silence. The simple thought of each other could bring you both to tears. This entire ordeal didn’t last for just a day or two. It lasted for almost a week. The both of you were too emotional and broken to even function. You were using the time you saved up on your job to sulk around at home and stay inside your bubble sadness and heartbreak. And Harry was neglecting all of the things that he needed to do so that he could stay in bed and try to take his mind off of you. But after what was going on to be day 5, Harry couldn’t take anymore of this. It wasn’t because he was feeling horrible. It was because Harry knew that he broke your heart. He had the clearest picture of you at home, completely broken up because of him. He could almost feel your pain and he hated it. He needed to tell you his true feelings and beg you to forgive him. He couldn’t sit around anymore and not talk to you. You were not only his best friend, you were also the woman that he loved. In the days of him sitting at home and thinking, he realized that he didn’t give it a shot. He didn’t give you a shot. He was constantly chasing after something that was already his and right in front of him.

After a long much needed shower, Harry got himself dressed and ready to go over to your place. On the way over, Harry made a stop to the florist that was in your direction and picked up the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could possibly buy. Not only were they your favorite flower, but you always seemed to gravitate towards the yellows because “they make my skin tone pop.” And they certainly did. Even remembering those little things could make Harry want to just burst into tears. For the rest of the drive to your apartment, Harry practiced all of the points he wanted to make out loud. He made sure that he remembered every last thing he wanted to say…and there was a lot. He was also preparing for the moment where you’d tell him that you didn’t want to talk to him ever again. Even though it may have seemed a bit extreme, he could understand why. He hurt you, and that’s the consequence that he’d have to pay. As he got closer and closer to your building, Harry could feel the butterflies in his stomach intensify and his lunch slowly make it’s way back up. He wasn’t feeling good at all, but he couldn’t turn his back on you and not try at all to redeem himself.

Between the time Harry got out of his car to when he was finally standing at your door was rough. As he got closer, his body got weaker. He was feeling a combination of embarrassment, sadness, anger, and worry. These feelings were so strong that he had to take two minuets before knocking on your door to stop himself from either throwing up or crying. Eventually he was able to get himself somewhat together and finally knock on your door.

When you hear the knock, you were sitting on your couch with your fluffy bathrobe on (that just so happened to be the one Harry brought you during one of his trips to Italy) with a pint of ice cream in hand, watching whatever was on the tv at the moment. You wanted to ignore the knock all together and just focus on your ice cream and the tv but you didn’t want to leave the person at the door hanging. So you reluctantly sit the cup down and you drag yourself to the door. When you look out through the peephole, your anxiety in that moment skyrockets. What in the world was Harry doing at your front door?! Even though you looked like an absolute mess and you didn’t want to talk to him in that moment, you still open the door for him.

When the door swings open and he sees you the waterworks begin all over again. He could see how puffy your face was from crying and how disheveled you looked and he hated it. He could feel the warm tears bubbling up in his eyes, but he was trying to do his best to keep them back. The two of you just stand there before Harry decides to talk.

“M’so sorry Y/n.” That’s all he could say. He wasn’t just apologizing for what he said or didn’t say. He was also trying to say that he was a sorry person. It took him losing you for what felt like an eternity to really see how amazing you are and how much you contributed to his life.

“Wanna come in?” You ask him, stepping to the side to let him into your apartment. In that moment Harry just wanted to scoop you up into his arms and never let you go. He wanted to feel your warm and happy disposition that was now being clouded because of him. He wanted his Y/n back. When he walks inside, he quickly kicks his shoes off at the door and follows you into the kitchen.

“I got these for you.” He whispers, sitting the large bouquet on the counter and sitting on the other side.

“Thanks.” You whisper back to him, sending a soft smile his way. You wanted to almost to reassure Harry that you weren’t mad at him anymore. You were just sad and heartbroken. You never had feelings like these in such a large magnitude before. And because of this, you weren’t expecting any of what happened.

You silently turn away from him to grab the two vases you had in the cabinet and you sit them down on the counter in front of Harry.

“I’m sorry if I overreacted on Friday. I just…” you mumble, beginning to unwrap the pretty flowers that were laying on the counter. You were trying to get your thoughts together but it was so hard.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It was all my fault for not saying anything or acknowledging you.” When he says that, your breaths become shakier and a tear slips from your eye. You continue to keep your focus on the flowers as you try to compose your next sentence in your head. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t even notice Harry coming around to your side of the counter. He softly pulls your hands away from the flowers and he pulls you into his body.

That was the moment you needed. You thought your release was over the past few days but they were only building up to this. Feeling his arms securely wrapped around you was the only thing you wanted or needed from him. Feeling and hearing your cries only made Harry cry too. The both of you just stood there in your kitchen holding each other as you both poured your hearts out to each other through your tears. This time, not saying anything was saying everything. The both of you could feel what the other was feeling and wanted to say. It was like a large weight was lifted off of you both. After a few more moments of crying and being in your arms, Harry needed to get one thing off of his chest. When he pulls away from you he cups both of your cheeks in his hands and he looks right into your eyes. He wanted to make sure that you knew that he meant every last word that was coming out of his mouth.

“I can’t even explain how sorry I am Y/n. You mean the world to me and I can’t even fathom the idea of not having you in my life. Seeing you completely broken the other night haunts me everyday and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. After not having your in my life, even if it was only a few days, I realized that I can’t live without you. I’ve spent so much time and energy looking for my match when I didn’t even bother to look right in front of me. The only type that I have is you. You’re absolutely stunning, inside and out. I feel like a proper dick for making you feel like you weren’t good enough for me. It’s me who’s not good enough. I let you down and I’ll never forget that. You’ve never left my side in the past 3 years and I couldn’t even give you a simple answer. I love you so much and I’ll never stop.” When Harry says this, the knife that was once burrowed in your heart was gone and the wound is patched up as if it never happened. Sure it’ll take time for it all to completely go away, but this was a hell of a good start.

“I love you so much.” You whimper, feeling another heavy round of hot tears cascade down your face. Harry then pulls your head towards his and presses a long, warm kiss right onto your forehead. That, along with his previous words got rid of the clouds. You were happy again. Your once full sponge was now empty. This meant that you could fill it up again, only this time with feelings of love and happiness. You could finally retire from building walls around yourself and continue experiencing the good that came from being vulnerable.

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x woc #harry styles woc imagines #harry styles writing #my harry writing #concepts of h #harrywritingsbyme

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seriouslysam8 · 2 years

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As someone who has her fair share of traumas (including the death of a loved one in front of my eyes), I'd like to say that I really enjoy and relate to how you write Harry. I'm mean obviously I didn't go through all the things Harry went through but still.

I noticed that there's a tendency in a lot of people to romanticize trauma heavily like it's this never-ending demon that you feel every second of your life but it doesn't work like that.

Especially if you have a lot of light in your life (and Harry has it in his post-war life), traumas in form of panic attacks or tendencies to isolate will usually resurface during emotionally negative periods of your life. Sometimes you'll even ask yourself where all of these problems are coming from because you have been so happy and peaceful for the longest time that you nearly forgot that you have these unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The way traumas affect you daily are usually "just" related to how they shaped your personality but if someone doesn't know your story they are not going to associate that behavior with some particular trauma and if you don't think about it you probably won't realize that you do certain things because of those traumas.

And I believe you are really good at showing how Harry's story shaped his personality and that his trauma brings him just once in a while down the rabbit hole.

I do agree that without Ginny, Harry would have spiraled into a very irremediable form of depression that I think would end in suicide. This has always been easily deductable from canon in my opinion. He literally chose life over death to build a family with her, it's the whole analogy of his death sequence.

Thank you so much for sharing!

Harry has a lot of good things going for him in his life. He has an amazing wife, amazing kids, and a great extended family. He has his dream job and works every day with his best mate as his partner. Life doesn’t get any better than that by Harry standards.

I totally agree with you. Trauma doesn’t follow you around everywhere you go. As someone who was abused as a child, I can attest to that. It comes in the form of anxiety when dealing with a certain situations or saying something and then obsessing over how dumb it sounded. I really draw from my own experiences when I write Harry and my fears and anxieties often show up in him.

I saw this really great piece written before (I can’t remember where) that explained what it was like to grow up as an abused child and how it affects their every day lives. It had a lot of examples. But one of them said something to the effect of an abused child scrutinized words and facial expressions because they were waiting for the next blow up. As an adult, they overanalyze words and expressions and misinterpret them because they’re fearfully looking for that moment when the shit is going to hit the fan. I thought “geeze, that’s why I constantly live on edge when serious conversations take place because I’m waiting for that person to be mad or upset.”

When times are good, Harry is happy and relaxed. When times are bad, he feels like he’s been run over by a train multiple times and doesn’t know what to do or how to process. Survival mode and isolation kick in and Ginny can instantly see the telltale signs after so many years.

I agree. Harry would either die of a broken heart or would probably commit suicide without Ginny. She’s been his rock, his reason he chose to live, and has been his lifeline for so many years. This is in me no way, shape, or form saying Harry is going to die anytime soon in the series but I totally would want Harry to die first. Ginny would be devastated and depressed and lonely without Harry, but she would be able to survive and enjoy her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Harry wouldn’t be able to survive in any meaningful way.

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windupnamazu · 3 years

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ABOUT FFXIVWRITE || FILLS TAG || AO3 MIRROR ☆

total word count: 32109 words + 1858w* longest fill: DEBONAIR - all i need’s a fraction of your happy heart (1888 words) shortest fill: SPECULATE - a mog by any other name (363 words)

see my ao3 mirror for full oc mention credits! * bonus round! surprise!

☆ || marked entries are ones i really like!

01. FOSTER: don’t fly the nest just yet lunya, linnet, colala, gyosei || post 5.3, maybe || 941 words no one wants to take the blame and lunya doubts she can be a parent.

02. ABERRANT: the eternal wind and the star traveler lunya/g’raha || genshin impact au || 574 words barbatos, g’raha, whatever he wants to be called—is kind of a weird god.

03. SCALE: out of sight and none shall see lunya & iris & lunya berithgar || pre-calamity || 659 words a young lunya learns the art of gutting fish.

04. BALEFUL: just a memory lunya || pacific rim au || 1113 words before she became a jaeger pilot, lunya lost her family.

05. CHERRY-PICK (extra credit): if you give a babycorn a mushroom lunya & babycorn & cherrypit || ??? || 829 words mushroom hunting shouldn’t be like herding cats, but here we are.

06. AVATAR: saturday night question ☆ lunya/g’raha || mmo au || 947 words g’raha tries a certain hit mmorpg with a free trial going up to level 60.

07. SPECULATE: a mog by any other name lunya, nyneve, tala || post-shb i guess || 363 words lunya is not sure nyneve deserves her archon marks.

08. ADROIT: and remember me, sweet bravery kotone & kanon || stormblood || 1415 words kotone comes home, but does she really?

09. FRIABLE: just to be seen by my eyes ☆ lunya & sirius || post 5.3 || 972 words lunya makes bug juice. harvesting cochineal doesn’t look right.

10. HEADY: would you sing it back to me? lunya/g’raha || post 5.3 || 872 words lunya would like one little sip of champagne. she deserves it.

11. PREACHING TO THE CHOIR: master’s mend lunya and «balefire» || the 7th astral era || 664 words a bit of rest has never done anyone any harm.

12. DOMICILE (extra credit): all of the answers, i’ve found in your eyes lunya/g’raha || post 5.3 || 793 words there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!

13. ONEIROPHRENIA: in the rocking of the cradle ☆ lunya & sirius || pre-arr || 872 words yeyema doesn’t quite recognize herself in the mirror after the calamity.

14. COMMEND: the leash we could do lunya & friends || main street au || 1345 words dogsitting is easy when you're the one leaving the dogs with other people.

15. THUNDEROUS: bolt to the blue lunya & zaya & friends || post-shb, pre 5.3 || 921 words lunya and zaya take the wrong kind of notes from their meeting with noctis.

16. CRANE: ufo catcher my heart! ☆ lunya & mint & illya || modern au || 744 words three lalafell enter an arcade and only two leave because one got stuck in a claw machine.

17. DESTRUCT: the blessed rain after the drought lunya/g’raha || post-shb, pre 5.3 || 1440 words the kakushi are just clean up crew for the demon slayer corps, so why's g'raha being rescued by one of the pillars?

18. DEVIL’S ADVOCATE: wow, this is just like 1984! lunya & alphinaud & alisaie & emet || modern au || 884 words lunya has opinions. so does alphinaud. so does emet-selch.

19. OBLIVION (extra credit): mmo gamer rising: revengeance ryne/gaia & lunya/g’raha || mmo au || 1549 words let's go mid, lesbians, let's go!

20. PETRICHOR: in the middle of all of my justices ☆ lunya/g’raha || weathering with you au || 1032 words it'll take a miracle to save the first from drying up. the exarch knows where to find one.

21. FECKLESS: no, these days i tend to lie h’lios || pre-arr || 970 words not all coming of age stories involve patricide, but this one wants to.

22. FLUSTER: and you will never be lonely ☆ lunya/g’raha || howl’s moving castle au || 1263 words in another universe, lunya gets to be the senior citizen.

23. SOUL: if i knock on the door that entwines us together ☆ lunya/g’raha || soul eater au || 1284 words lunya is a meister and g'raha is her weapon. together they harvest the souls of evil humans, but today they wait for ice cream.

24. ILLUSTRIOUS: the party don't start til they get through my 50+ titles lunya/g’raha & friends || post 5.3 || 654 words between the ~25 of them, the warriors of light have enough titles to take up a whole guest announcement period at a ball. so they do.

25. SILVER LINING: a night's calling lunya & haurchefant & reese || post-dw || 1116 words haurchefant has some things he needs to clear up for the girl who saved his life.

26. TREASURE HUNT (extra credit): for the voyage is long and the winds don't blow melmeltan & coco & lunya || pirate au || 1593 words a bride flees her arranged marriage and winds up on a pirate ship.

27. BENTHOS: waltzing the waves, diving in the deep lunya/g’raha || aquarium au || 1188 words a little mermaid gets a new tail, and lunya loves her work.

28. BOW: covered in all the coloured lights lunya & zaya & friends || circus au || 1404 words you can't please everyone with tour stops.

29. DEBONAIR: all i need’s a fraction of your happy heart ☆ lunya/g’raha & friends || post 5.3, pre 5.4 || 1888 words rahapunzel, rahapunzel, cut your damn hair!

30. ABSTRACTED: eyes on me ☆ lunya/g’raha, majj, nyneve, theo || 7th astral era || 1820 words some meddling friends hold a miniature interrogation

+31. SUNDER: ride home lunya/g’raha || 5.3 || 1858 words if i were to tell you that this isn't the end—that we will meet again—would you believe me?

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2021 #tales from the warriors of light #wheezes thanks everyone !#heres hoping that i get energy to reblog friendfics...#if theres errors in here im sorry im sprinting away

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nightdarkminute · 3 years

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I might make this a series, might not, we’ll see how much I actually end up having to say. But I’ve been mulling over just how much this damn line means to me and how much it has changed my life. Maybe someone else has had a similar experience. CW for discussions of homophobia and religious homophobia. Also fair warning, this will be very hostile toward Catholicism because I have had a series of traumatic experiences with the church, including but not limited to what is outlined here.

I was raised Catholic in a conservative, homophobic environment where the most progressive thing I was ever told about queer people was the official Catholic stance to “hate the sin, love the sinner”, and this was not even discussed until I was about 13-14. By this time and due to other experiences, I was already questioning my faith, but this still rubbed me the wrong way. But because I was so young and due to compulsive heterosexuality, I assumed I was straight, and I was glad for it since that would be one less thing my friends, classmates, and family could hold against me. I was already regularly told off for being too liberal, for questioning religion, so at least I wouldn’t be rocking the boat in the sexuality department (spoiler alert: I was wrong).

I waited for the day I had my first crush on a boy. I went to dances (we were only allowed to go with dates of the opposite sex and all my friends were going so I sucked it up and went with boys), went on dates, was kissed, and felt nothing. I was silent at sleepovers when my friends talked about their crushes. I felt broken because I felt nothing. Two girls kissed in a supply closet my junior year and the whole school heard about it. In an environment like that, where your “friends” wrinkle their noses at the slightest mention of queerness, when you spend whole class periods watching videos about chaste gay Catholics who have chosen God instead of the life of sin that is taking a partner, how could I know anything BUT shame?

How could I have been anything but ashamed when year after year I was pelted with the idea that starting a family, making love to your partner (in marriage of course), was the loveliest of callings, the pinnacle of glory in God’s creation, and know that I was barred from it? To know that should I fall in love and become intimate with anyone that it would be a sin as profane as if I had committed murder? They can tell me they love me all I want and that it is the sexual act, not the orientation, that is profane, but how can they expect me to believe that? How can I not feel shame at my sexuality when acting on heterosexuality can be holy but I can only commit sin? How can you tell me you love me and then condemn me to a life without the very thing you tell me is most important to have? How can I not be ashamed of who I am when my very being condemns me to Hell?

This is why I was so profoundly affected by Admiral Hennessey’s reaction in particular, and why I arguably loathe him more than Alfred Hamilton. He is willing to make excuses for James when he beats the shit out of other naval officers, which is an actual problem, but he draws the line at James having sex with another man. You can hear the disdain in his voice when he calls James’s “vice” profane. And I know exactly how it feels to be on the receiving end of such vitriol. I’ve been on the receiving end of it all my life. There are some circumstances (self-defense, just warfare, etc.) where it is doctrinally permissible to take someone’s life. I was taught about these circumstances. There is never a circumstance, or at least one that I was made aware of, that justifies me having sex with another woman.

Thankfully, I go to a very liberal college. I have very open-minded friends now, some of whom are queer themselves. And though I consumed queer media and openly supported LGBTQIA+ causes there, I never quite extended that same support to myself. There was always some slight disconnect, something that wasn’t quite right. Black Sails gave me the words to identify what the problem was, words written down on a blank page in Meditations.

Know no shame. I had never seen the word shame used in this context. In the welcoming spaces I sought out, the messaging was pride, to be proud of who you are. I never quite understood, because until I saw those words on that page, I didn’t realize I was ashamed of myself. I didn’t realize how much shame was drilled into me until it became as much a part of me as language itself. I didn’t realize until I saw those words that even after I had long left behind my fears of Hell, going to Mass on Sundays, or even God himself, I still carried shame with me. Because when you are told who you are is something awful, that’s a really hard thing to shake off.

That’s why I can’t read those words without crying. Because they are the permission I didn’t even realize I needed to receive. The straight-to-the-point reminder I can repeat to myself even if people around me are saying otherwise. I still have a long way to go. I’m not out to my parents for fear of rejection, but for the first time I can be completely honest with myself, since I know why I wasn’t for the longest time.

#cw homophobia #personal #like very personal #like soul-bearing hours here #black sails #know no shame

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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I agree that Aro definitely is not straight, but if he is gay and not bi, why window shop for a wife? If he wanted a partner for some reason, why not find a male one? It was a different era, yes, but are vampires really homophobic?

So, for this meta, we’ll have to get historical. Before we do, keep in mind that while I know Ancient Greece better than most, having studied it (introductory level classes only, mind), I don’t know it well enough to be any kind of authority on the matter. History, more than any other discipline I can think of, is not respected as an academic field, and people with poor to no understanding of historical hermeneutics will make very bold assumptions that they then have too poor understanding of history to realize are bullshit. This is a disclaimer because I don’t want to join in on the chorus of authoritative-sounding people on the internet with no verifiable credentials who spout things about history that are then taken to be gospel truth by readers because the author made it sound good.

More, I say this because your question is asking me to explain the morality and social norms surrounding a character from 14th century BC Greece. And this man would not, for the record have been Ancient Greek, he would have been Mycenaean Greek. Very quick history lesson: Mycenaean Greece was a flourishing society that suffered a downfall, Greek civilization fell into its very own dark ages, until around 800 BC when Greeks began forming what would become the Ancient Greece we know and love. This in turn means that I can’t very well read up on the marital and sexual norms of Ancient Greece when I’m researching for Aro, because he was five hundred years old already when Ancient Greece became a thing.

And your question concerns cultural history. And for that we’re going to have to look at how we know the things we know about history. How history is studied.

Historians have two kinds of sources: archeological findings and written records. (I’m aware that oral tradition, like the one carried by the Aborigine people, isn’t technically one of these, but to my understanding it’ll be treated to similar analysis as written records, which leaves us with the two types of sources standing strong.) These sources are analyzed, and we apply various theories and models onto them to make sense of the context they were written in. The more sources we have, the more we can refine or eliminate these theories or models.

More, history is an ever evolving field. There are movements and schools of thought that influence how history is written (marxism in history, that is, history as a class struggle, was heavy in the 60′s and I think until the 80′s), which means that how a certain culture will be perceived today is not the way it was perceived a few decades ago, nor will it be perceived the same way a few decades in the future.

You see why I am daunted by you asking me to give you an answer about sexual and marital norms for a guy who lived 3000 years ago, and I hope you’ll understand why I feel this word vomit is necessary.

Now, the danger with Mycenaean Greece is that it’s a society it’s easy to feel we know a lot about, because it was the precursor to Ancient Greece, and we know a lot about the latter. But, first of, the reason why we know as much as we do about the Ancient Greeks is the Romans. The Greeks wrote about their history, their philosophy, their government, and they wrote plays and told stories. However, that was two thousand years ago and their writings would have been lost to the sands of time if the Romans hadn’t idolized and sought to emulate their society. This meant preserving their written records. This tradition was carried on by the Christians, in part because Hellenistic philosophy was incorporated into Christian philosophy. We have neo-platonism to thank for Christian asceticism, the “mind over matter” cornerstone.

What I’m getting at with all of this is that we know the insane amount about Ancient Greece that we do because of some very unique circumstances, and so we can make very sophisticated theories about what the Hellenistic world was like. It’s still detective work, but not Pepe Silvia type of detective work. This is not the case for Mycenaean Greece. We know a comparative lot about Mycenaean Greece, considering how long ago it was, but there is very much we don’t know.

With Mycenaean Greece, we are dealing with a lot more uncertainty. We haven’t deciphered one of their two writing styles, and a lot of the text we do have is very fragmentary. Coming up with detailed societal models for Mycenaean Greece, and for the 14th century BC specifically, is... well I don’t know enough about what this society left behind to know what historians have to work with, but I imagine they have their work cut out.

More, I haven’t studied this at all, which means that any attempt on my end to research this would be stumbling around in the dark.

One example: the Illiad and the Odyssey, while composed around the 8th century BC, were set in the early 12th century BC, which is nearly Aro’s time period. The Illiad depicts a homoerotic relationship between Patroclus and Achilles, and both works depict a lot of matrimonies, so I wish I could use it as a source. However, not only would this time gap alone make these sources questionable, but there’s also the matter of the Illiad and the Odyssey being transmitted orally, from bard to bard. Changes were made over the years. For example, the technology described in the Illiad is from several eras, as the warriors will be using bronze weaponry in one book and then switch to iron in the next. This game of telephone is what happens when a story is transmitted orally from person to person. So, while it’s tempting to use these works as a sort of reference point, the possibility, likelihood even, that the bards made adjustments to keep the old story entertaining for their contemporary audience is strong.

For this reason, I can’t give you any kind of historically correct analysis on what the marital or sexual mores would have been like in Aro’s time. Even if the knowledge is out there, I don’t have it.

But I can say this, spouses have for the longest time been partners. Men and women got married, even in the gay, gay, Ancient Greece, not just to have children but because they complemented each other, they were partners. Men needs wives, and women needs husbands. And a partner was canonically exactly what Aro was looking for, feelings had nothing to do with it:

After Caius and Marcus had found their romantic attachments, Aro decided to find his own, although rather than finding his other half in another vampire Aro decided to create his own instead. Aro had a certain type of woman in mind and he found what he was looking for in Sulpicia. He successfully courted her and she came to fall in love with him.

As for vampires being homophobic, I think that is for another post about what culture they bring with them into their new life. But to be brief I’ll say that while the individual vampire can be homophobic, there can be no homophobia at an institutional level because vampires have no institutions. And it’s the institutional homophobia that gets ya. It’s what the whole fight for gay rights has been about: secure legislation against discrimination and that protects gay people. (The right to marry and protection from employees firing LGBT employees comes to mind as examples of this.)

So, no one could force Aro to marry a woman.

And I’d go into a rant here about how the prospect of gay marriage, of even identifying as homosexual (the labels homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual are very new and, to my recollection, were born off of the Western psychiatric discipline as men who slept with other men were diagnosed with homosexuality. I imagine a man from the Antiquity would be confused at the notion that just because he likes to sleep with dudes he shouldn’t get married to a woman), was unthinkable up until very recently, but I just made this obscenely long rant about how I can’t really make these kinds of guesses, so I’m not gonna.

I think being married to a woman and then banging hot dudes who came along suited Aro just fine.

Also, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but - I’m going to encourage history asks. Because this fandom has a bit of a history problem, as a lot of the characters are from different time periods and many feel unsatisfied with the way Meyer handled that. I am by no means a historian, but I know several of the historical periods the characters of Twilight are from well enough to make educated guesses.

So, hit me with your worst.

#WHEW #aro #sulpicia #aro/sulpicia #history #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #twilight #this is very long and I'm tired so I didn't proofread #GERONIMO as they say #hope there are no embarrassing mistakes #also yes I know I just made a pretentious ass of myself #but i'm writing twilight meta on tumblr so i left my dignity behind long ago #doktrajediscovery #ask

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