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azucanela · 4 years

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Ahh i'm glad you write for them, thank you so much for answering my question :) may i ask for Dabi, Shigaraki and Toga headcanons w/ a female reader that likes to sing but is kinda shy about it? and like one time they catch her singing and are just speechless because her voice is so beautiful? Thank you so much :)

HEARING THEIR SHY S/O SING[HEADCANNONS]

[ft. dabi, shigaraki tomura, and toga himiko]

SUMMARY: in which Y/N can sing but nobody else knew that, until they did, and let me tell you they were SHOCKED.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: implications of death, implications of nsfw, almost nudity bc towels, embarrassment, dabi being a perv, blood, injuries

A/N: this concept makes me happy lol, dabi’s is my favorite kjsahkjfshdkjh anyways ofc bb thank you for requesting! this is adorable :D

DABI

in all honesty, you’re probably singing in the shower and dabi is super nosy and has zero shame, so he kinda just comes into the bathroom while you are showering, like a perv

he hears you singing in the shower because he randomly shows up to your apartment, and he kinda just listens from outside for a hot minute because WOW, there is no one else it could be, unless you lived with a ghost who took 30 minute showers just like you did

he sincerely doubted this was the case

he’s vibing tbh, after he collects himself, he’ll kinda just take a seat on the toilet with a small smile on his face, and you won’t hear him unless he decides to sing along just to give you a heart attack

probably realizes that the reason he didn’t already know you have the voice of a literal angel is because of the fact that you’re a shy bb, and he’s gonna savor this while it lasts

he will tease you though, when you come out of the shower, grabbing your towel and then opening the shower curtain to him just sitting there, dopey smile on his face

“hey doll.”

you curse him out, cheeks warming, you lowkey forgot that you have no clothes on as you cuss him out, and he APPRECIATES the sight before him

you being angry is a TURN O N, angry and naked? even better

i think you know where this about to go

anyways as you curse him out for invading your privacy, you do be feeling EMBARRASSED because you were singing your heart out in there and he was just listENING

the audacity.

“you’re a really good singer, babe.”

Now you are more embarrassed and it suddenly dawns on you that you are not wearing clothes, just a towel to cover your body, and you are glaring at this mans because what the-

“what were you even thinking?!”

“that i would listen to my beautiful girlfriends equally beautiful voice.”

the type to ask you to sing for him, he has no shame like i said, will randomly say, “i like this song, think you could sing for me?”

you’re shy and like nO

he’s like, “come on babe, a private session ;)”

yeah he really likes this whole singing thing and will hype you up, but subtly, like hes constantly complimenting your singing voice because it really is just super pretty and he wants you to know this so that you’ll sing more

already comes to your home randomly, but this will increase in frequency because he really wants to hear you sing more AND catch you singing in the shower

LOWKEY

REALLY REALLY LOWKEY

LIKE R E A L L Y LOWKEY

i can see him asking you to sing him to sleep, it reminds him of his childhood because he finds comfort in your voice, and this would be the only time he’s shy about it

you’re just like WHAT internally, because if you express your shock externally he IS going to retreat back into himself and you will have lost your chance at a emotionally available Dabi

my type is emotionally unavailable people sigh

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

most confused award goes to this mans

you’re probably just singing along to your music as you clean your room, he told you he was dropping by, hence the cleaning, you are also dancing because why not vibe

he opens the door, you don’t hear him with your earbuds in, and he kinda just freezes at the door because thats your voice

your actual voice

he listens for a bit because it sounds pretty and he likes it, he’s really confused, but he likes it, and you

tbh this is a really domestic moment and tomura is really shocked that he’s enjoying leaning up against your doorway as you treat the broom in hand as a mic and belt out some nice lyrics

kinda hates that he likes it

they you turn around after finishing the song with a dramatic little ending, and open your eyes to see your lovely emotionally constipated boyfriend standing there, albeit uncomfortably, his arms are awkwardly crossed and he’s squirming under your gaze

“so... is that your quirk?” genuinely thinks you are such a good singer that it is your QUIRK to be a literal ANGEL

you’re too mortified to answer because shyness, mouth gaping open as you grapple for words and you feel your entire body heat up in embarrassment. You genuinely are contemplating jumping onto your bed and screaming into your pillow before suffocating yourself with it.

“how long have you been standing tHeRe?” your voice cracks and you lowkey wanna cry because WHAT EVEN IS THIS DAY

he kinda shrugs, “few minutes.” he’d mumble and then look up at you, he is equally nervous at this point, “you have a nice voice.”

“thank you,,,,”

he’s too awkward to ask you to sing for him, but he would try and encourage you to sing, because he really does want to hear you again, he just can’t find a way to ask you

literally this is stressing him out, just start singing randomly and he’ll appreciate it so much, don’t make him ask p l e a s e

he is definitely gonna start stopping by randomly way more often, in hopes of catching you singing once more, because thats just an experience he wants to happen again

would probably bring it up that you have a pretty voice to other league members in hopes that they’ll bully you into singing so that he doesn’t have to

sometimes he wishes he didn’t tell them though because he kinda just wants to keep you and your talent for himself

isn’t the best at hyping you up, especially not outright, definitely the most awkward of the three, but he’s going to try, purely because he thinks that if he boosts your confidence enough then he’ll hear you sing more and he won’t have to outright ask you to sing for him because that would be painful for the both of you

“you know... you sing good.”

“thank you...?”

“this is a nice song.”

“yeah,”

“sing it.”

sounds really demanding but he’s trying his hardest okay.

understands if you don’t want to sing in front of others due to your shyness, he’s awkward too, so as long as you sing for him its chill

he likes the intimacy of the moments when you sing for him and him alone, it just makes him happy to have that, especially since you are shy about singing.

TOGA HIMIKO

oh knife wife, love of my life,

that rhymes

toga is probably the most outwardly supportive of you and your singing endeavors, bbg is gonna be so happy when she finds out you can sing, unlike the other boys she won’t have time to savor it because she will immediately start talking about it

probably breaking into your home through your window because she needs medical assistance and cannot tell if the blood on her belongs to someone else or not, you are her go to because hospitals are a no no for a villain such as herself

she sees you through the window, and she can kinda hear you singing as you cook in your kitchen, though you aren’t that visible and the window blocks out most of the noise.

genuinely contemplates breaking the window so that she can hear you better because it already sounds so pretty??? how??? why didn’t she know about this, why didn’t you tell her?

the audacity honestly what are you doing

she opens the window with class instead, effectively breaking into your home, but you don’t hear her as she closes it and re-locks the window

she’s gonna be speechless for a hot minute, now that she hears your voice clearly, she’s beginning to wonder if the blood is hers and shes dead, because you have a voice that belongs in the heavens literally what-

wondering how she didn’t know about this as she bursts into your kitchen covered with blood, “Y/N BABY YOU CAN SING?”

you nearly drop the knife in your hand and cut your foot off at the sight of your bloody girlfriend like, for several reasons

one. how the hell did she get into your apartment. two, why is she covered in so much blood???? three. she heard you singing. oh god she head you singing. time to panic and die

you kinda freeze and your mouth gapes open because you are so confused and panicked right now as your hands begin to gesture vividly while you search for words, trying to avoid her gaze and questions as your face heats up

this shock and panic distracts you from the fact that she broke into your house covered in blood as you respond, “i mean anyone can sing-”

“you sing GOOD.”

brags about you being such a good singer ALL THE TIME, literally how she introduces you to people, much to your dismay

will ask you to sing for her with no shame, unlike dabi she isn’t even going to shut down if you say no or find it weird, she’s just gonna keep asking until you agree to do it

would not be opposed to falling asleep to your similar voice, in fact, your voice is one of few things that calms her down

she’s literally just so excited about the fact that you can sing, like WOW, the whole league is gonna know so fast, she’s just

SO HAPPY

she’s literally going to be hyping you up 24/7 like even if the conversation has nothing to do with it, she’s going to tell you how amazing you are and try to help you overcome your shyness because your talent must be SHARED WITH THE WORLD

just a super supportive gf at the end of the day we love toga

A/N: the vibes are immaculate, sing for your evil lover, that is the point here

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jengkook · 3 years

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hypocritical people are the worst

i just wanna vent real quick i know this wont make sense to anyone and no ones gonna read or care but oh my god

few months ago ive met A, we got along pretty ok-ish and bc he was interested in another girl and he kept wanting tips how to deal with her jealousy etc. he was even willing to delete me and cut off contact if his girl he was interested in kept insisting on it. (totally fine for me, i have absolutely ZERO feelings towards him and even TOLD him that because he started making weird comments/compliments towards me so i straight up told him "hey, remember, u like that girl and you're intersted in that girl- NOT me. im not intersted in you in that way at all and your comments make me feel uncomfortable. stop that. you're in the friendzone for me" lmfao)

Even though he'd complain that her jealousy is too much and too childish. and that sometimes he'd wish he could "hurt" her the way she has been hurting him with her jealously and controlling behavior.

long story short they kept having an on and off thing and while that was happening and A was busy with his girl ive gotten closer to one of his friends, R. and once we got to know each other more we both just clicked right away and get along very well, laugh a lot, flirt a lot. I want to spend time with R and R wants to spend time with me. At first we'd hang out in groups but lately we're trying to spend time alone together to get even closer.

During that time A was busy with his girl but he'd ask me from time to time if R and I are going out or have something going on. And last week A suddenly came up to me and asked to talk and basically confessed his feelings for me out of fucking nowhere and he was sad and hurt that R and I get along so well and thats why he'd want some alone time (even tho none of us tried to contact him so he had and still has his alone time???) A told me he kept stalking me and my socials to see what i was up to with R. so basically after weeks of silence A confessed he likes me more than a friend and he confessed that he has been stalking me lmfao like hold up you just dump that shit onto me let me handle one thing first??

and i told him that this is too sudden like what about the other girl you were in love with???? i also once again reminded him that i still and never will have those kind of feelings towards him and that ive been open about that from the very beginning as to not led him on

he told me he was hurt because his friend, R, shouldnt have tried to get close to me because they are "bros" and R shouldve known that A likes me but like??? no one suspected anything because you fucfking kept talking about that other girl and kept dreaming about her so like how is that R's fault for not knowing or mine for not suspecting shit like that??? EVERYONE in our friend group knew you liked that other girl because you kept telling everyone exactly that and how you wished it would work out between you both.

now its been a week and he still stalks my socials and right now its 4AM and i was still taking with R but we were about to go and said our goodbyes but suddenly A's stalking ass came up to R and asked him to talk at this fucking time lmfaooo i pretended i didnt notice bc obviously A wants to do this shit behind my back and idk but im so scared and anxious right now because like i said in the beginning A was wishing he could hurt the girl he was interested in at that time somehow and im just scared he will ruin my relationship im building with R too.... or that R will distance himself from me because of A... why else would he suddenly after a week of complete silence go out of his way to search and ask to talk with R at fucking 4AM in the morning after he saw us two together again...

and because i pretended not to notice i cant go up to R and ask him about it now or tomorrow or ever lol but i know its going to be stuck in my head and im overthinking stuff like what if R will keep this to himself and not share it with me tomorrow when we'll hang out again. what if R is gonna pretend he didnt have a talk with A ? im overthinking and being quite dramatic rn but i just rlly rlly like R and i know what kind of person A is, what kind of asshole he is and i just dont want him to ruin my relationships any longer...

also its so hypocritical of A to complain about his girls' controlling, stalking behaviour and her jealousy when he fucking stalks me, wants to control and manipulate my relationships and gets jealous of me even tho we are NOT even together????????

he said he "claimed" me in his head the day we met and that fucking creeped me out and i told him then and there that im not some object he can claim for himself or decide for me and he was like "i know i knowwww but...." and i was like "there is no but. you do not own me. you cant claim me. i am not yours." like how much more open and straight forward do i have to be????????? why cant he just let it be?????? i deleted him on my socials and stuff but he's still stalking and like i said, trying to get close to R again and talk with him about me so there is nothing i can do... fuck why does it have to be 4am lmfao i was about to sleep happily after a nice day spent with R why did i have to notice whats going on behind my back i honestly just want to sleep right now but im too anxious and want it to be morning again so i can maybe???? see?? if i can get answers or if R wants to talk to me about it??? lol i just want to cry whyyyy are we so extra emotional at this hour

#ill cry myself to sleep #i want it o be morning #im hoping r will talk to me about it and be open about A wanting to have a talk with him and not keep it a secret #i want to be able to trust r completely #personal #text #dl #im a crybaby arent i lmfaoooo

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latetaektalk · 3 years

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hi there ^^' i'm... kinda new to this whole tumblr thing and have been wanting to write on here for a while but this huge place is kinda scary sometimes haha ;; do you have any writing tips or tricks that would be good to know for newcomers? (also your music taste is immaculate, i love it)

hey love 💕 first of all, welcome to tumblr!! its a fun place,, youre gonna love it, and learn to hate it lol second of all, thank you for complimenting my music taste 😳

now im not quite sure if you want only writing tips or writing blog tips, so ive included tips and tricks for both!

WRITING BLOG TIPS :

have a masterlist. this might seem stupid and obvious, but ive seen people with no masterlist. people are lazy, so if they cant access your writing easily, they will just click away.

have a clean theme. aesthetics are important. they are. people love clean and easy to navigate themes. again, people are lazy, so if you make it easy to click through your blog and get to your writing, youll increase the chance of people reading your stuff!

how to get your work show up in general. putting links in your fanfic might lead to your story not showing up in the search. ive also heard that a banner thats too big can cause that. even using too many tags can lead to your work not showing up. its complicated.

the first five tags. im sure youve heard abt this already but the first five tags are the tags that will actually show up! so if someone follows #bts fluff and you tag your fic with that, your fic can show up on people's dashes as a recommended post!

tag accordingly. speaking of tags, please tag accordingly! theres nothing more annoying than finding a jimin fanfic in the taehyung fanfic tag. i really discourage you from mistagging your stories. if im scrolling through the taehyung fanfic tag and find a jimin fanfic, it makes me want to not read it. just tag your fics accordingly.

reblog your fics. i mean it. seriously, reblog them as much as you want! people live in different time zones or sometimes forget abt wanting to read your stuff, so reblogging it consistently for a week or so to get it on people's dashes helps!

teasers and taglists. i recommend doing both! teasers help to get people excited for your story and taglists ensure that people will read it, or at least remember to!

dont stress abt notes. now, this is less of a tip but rather something i just really really really want to tell you! i know youve heard this before, but please do not stress about notes. tumblr fame does not exists! it doesnt matter if your writing gets 2 notes or 300 or 5k notes! i do understand how getting a lot of notes can be motivating (every fics deserve all the love in the world by the way!!) but in the end, it should not be your motiviation to write. focusing on notes will ruin writing for you. it will. the amount of notes your fic will reach has nothing to do with how good your writing is. dont let something as superficial as notes ruin the fun of writing for you. its seriously not worth it! write for you and no one else!

WRITING TIPS :

write self indulgent fics. i seriously think all fics should be self indulgent. writing fics should be fun, so please write whatever you want! also, theres no such thing as an overdone trope. if you want to write a fake dating enemies to lovers fic, please write it! you might think there are already a bunch out there and its not worth writing another one, but youre wrong! there isnt one out there thats been written by you yet. go write it!

make playlists. now this is a bit specific to me because im absolutely obsessed with music, but making playlists that fit the mood of the fic has always helped me while writing and gotten me out of writers block before!

take your time. writing is freaking hard and when writers block hits, theres rarely ever something that you can do. try not to stress too much abt it! it happens to the best of us!

balance dialogue and detail. its important to find a middle. if im reading a fic and theres paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of detail, the chance of me just skipping that part is really high. because even though i love detail, it does get boring. so use dialogue to spice it up!

reading. okay, this sounds weird because youre asking for writing tips, but reading seriously help your writing so much! if you wanna improve your writing skills, reading a lot is going to be key. now, im not saying reading is necessary, but i do think that it can help you to better! whats even more important though is that you try to analyse people’s writing while reading. when i say you should analyse people’s writing, i do not mean you should write an entire analysis of a book, but to take a second and think to yourself how the authors just did that. how did they convey oc’s sadness? why did they just describe the weather? whats the purpose of this scene?

switch up sentence/paragraph length. shorter sentences/paragraphs = emphasise something and pick up the pace. longer sentences/paragraphs = slow down the story and allow for more detail. its important that you do a mix of both. utilise the length to your advantage. a well placed short sentence/paragraph can pack a lot of punch and turn your sad story in a heartbreaking one.

outline your fics. look this is very personal again because some people dont like to outline their fics, but i recommend outlining your fics. and when i say outline your fics, you can do it as little or as much as you want! it can be a few notes, or a long list of every detail you want to include. i just want you to know where this story is headed. its so easy to write yourself in a corner and trust me, you dont wanna end up there.

allow yourself to be free. this connects to the previous point i just made. even though i do recommend outlining your fics, i am also a firm believer of taking the story somewhere else if you feel like it. ive scrapped complete outlines before. half of the scenes i write also arent in my outline at all. you dont have to stick to the outline. if you think that a specific scene would add something to your story, then please go ahead and write that scene. just always remember where youre headed and dont loose focus.

have fun. i just really wanna reiterate this point again. its just so important to me that you have fun while writing! seriously. its just fanfiction. it should be fun. go crazy. i support you!

okay bub i hope this was helpful 💕 if you have any other questions/want more tips/want me to elaborate on something, please just hit me up! my ask box is always open!

#writing tips #jimintopia #linh.ask

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banghwa · 3 years

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Nb ask anon here, tysm for answerring the ask about how u came to terms with ur gender, it's always insightful to see what other trans people have to say about their experiences even if I cant relate to everything u said, I guess for me I started to notice that I wanted to present more masc than i used to, I've 'been' a cis girl all my life and a rather girly one to be honest (although I think part of that is because I've been forced to do so).

But when people call me women or girl smth just.. doesnt sound right to me to be honest, like I know I'm not a man but a woman seems also kinda.... "strong", I just want to put wlw as my gender to be honest ajsjkssks I know that doesnt make sense but it's the only thing I know for sure in my life and also they/them pronouns are cool too I guess lol but anything besides that seems so alien to me, like for example my name, it's not that I dislike it but I've always been reluctant to search for a new one, it's like taking a step in a direction, THAT direction u know what I mean

Ugh then there's the whole presentation problem of like I kinda like to look fem but not for certain people but I definitely wanna look more masc or even gnc, like I want people to look at me and not "be able" to assume what I am u know but also sometimes girly things are pretty so fml

Anyways this gender shit is so complicated jules like it takes so much experimenting and shit and I'm just like ugh why cant I just KNOW things right now

(Sorry for the rant but u just seemed very trustworthy and helpful in the 1st ask)

omg pls dont apologize, im more than happy that your trust me enough to talk to me about something to personal <3 but yess i rly love hearing how everyone defines their gender its so interesting how we're all so different but also the same, its very comforting i feel. (answered under the cut bcs it got long lol)

thats actually really similar to how i started exploring my gender! i am a very feminine person but when i started figuring out my sexuality i also started realizing how much i disliked being read as feminine by other people despite liking being feminine. and how much i liked more masculine compliments and indentifiers. i started out id-ing as a cis bi girl and then a bi nb guy and then bi trans guy and then gay nb and now nb lesbian so its BEEN a process lmao and i know how frustrating it is to feel like you dont have it all figured out or to think you have it figured out only for you to realize it doesnt quite fit anymore later on. it feels a lot like you have to restart the whole process, but in reality i think its more of a checkpoint, ya know? sometimes we have to make a lot of stops and try out a lot of things before we find something that fits and thats totally fine. for me it was like. when i realized i was not cis it felt like running as far away as i would from my agab and then slowly coming back to poke it with a stick kjgfhkj.

and its definetly so complicated when you feel like the terms you want to identify with are "contradictory," we don't really have the vocabulary in english to describe how we experience our gender properly most of the time and some things just dont fit and its hard to explain exactly *why* to someone who doesnt Get It. but maybe its partially a blessing in disguise, bcs it lets us really test things out and play around until it feels right. you can definetly id your gender as wlw, i personally describe my gender as "lesbian" bcs i feel thats the only thing that still ties me to "womanhood." i do get what you mean tho, it was really scary for me too to start using "contradictory" identifiers, like im a lesbian but i use he/they pronouns and i like presenting fem but i hate when people assume im a woman or straight because of it. it really is frustrating trying to figure all this out when everyone around you treats gender like something they get to project onto you and feeling like you need to play into that in order to feel "real." i still have a lot of trouble detatching my gender identity from other peoples assumptions and expectations, so it feels a bit hypocritical to try to give advice on that lol, but i think it all comes back to figuring out what *you* want first and foremost, having trusted people who you can talk to and experiment with, and seeing it as a learning opportunity more than a "goal" or "destination."

it definetly is so frustrating but you're not the only one <3 im sorry happy that you're taking the time to explore what feels right to you even though its daunting to admit that to yourself. some steps like trying a different name can ESPECIALLY be really challenging and scary and it takes so much courage to admit that thats even a potential, im so proud of you honey and i wish you all the best <33 im always here and happy to talk if you want to

#💌#anonymous

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onthepageoftears · 4 years

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Hold Them Closer ~ Ch.3 [Jaskier x assassin!reader] || Witcher

A/N: this chapter is pretty much all fluff but I think it is well deserved ;)

Summary: An ‘atmosphere of love’ has many facets.

Warnings: language, fluff fluff FLUFF!!, maybe mentions of death/killing? literally thats it lol

Words: 2,395

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

The euphoria you felt after…the kiss — it was electrifying. It coursed through your veins all night as the two of you were in the bed you previously thought would be an issue, but now were silently thanking the inn owner for. You and Jaskier spent the rest of the night just laying there, shifting in and out of sleep, every so often giving the other a lingering touch on their face or hands or arms. It was the best sleep you had in a long, long time.

But of course, this euphoria couldn’t last.

As soon as you woke up the next day, you were determined. As exhilarated as you were from your kiss with Jaskier, your mind was occupied with another focus: your mother. After months of not having a real mission, or target, a familiar feeling coursed over you that you didn’t quite realize you missed: you felt like you had a purpose again, and this time it felt even more powerful because it was a purpose you gave yourself.

That didn’t mean it was easy. Weeks seemed to go by in a flash — weeks of you going page by page through Rauf’s old journals and notes. At every new entry you were practically fighting the urge to rip the pages to shreds, or burn them, or hang them and use them as target practice. It was safe to say your memories of Rauf were tainted by his last moments, and even though you had nightmares every now and again, nothing could beat the disdain you had for the man.

The research was torture. Complete and utter torture.

But, even as you struggled to search for any sign of your mother’s whereabouts, Jaskier was always there to distract you when you needed it. And distractions were something you needed a lot.

A distraction could come in many different facets. Training, drinks in the tavern, a walk in the woods. But it could also be slightly more…straightforward.

If you got too frustrated with Rauf’s words hanging in your mind, you’d get up from your seat and rush over to Jaskier, who was usually practicing his lute. He’d move it out of the way in time for you to practically jump him; you’d let him grab your waist as you sat in his lap, not bothering to explain as you shared a heated kiss. You two would move to the rhythm you had come to find, all before you removed yourself from him like nothing ever happened. By now, he was used to it — and neither of you were complaining. Again, it was one of the many perks to having him around while you were doing your research.

But even small breaks like that couldn’t keep you sane for long. And Jaskier knew that —which is why he so giddily told you of a wedding banquet performance he landed.

It was no surprise that he got the job — you’d seen how easy it was for him to perform, and his talent was something you had grown to admire. But the surprise came in the suggestion after his good news.

Jaskier’s lips straightened into a thin line before he grimaced, already knowing the words he would speak could be the death of him.

“I need a date.”

You straightened in your spot, nearly disregarding the pile of papers in your lap. “Huh?”

“For the wedding banquet? The illustrious performance? I need a date. A plus one, if you will.”

You deepened your frown. You, at a wedding? The only time you were close to a wedding was when you had a target who was an invite, and even then, you…eliminated him as he drunkenly stumbled just outside the banquet premises.

Now, you certainly wouldn’t let Jaskier go alone to a banquet, especially one with such a gathering. The two of you still weren’t sure if he was completely safe after your guild was destroyed, so even seemingly safe places were a risk. But for you to actually be present inside the party rather than lingering on the outside? That wasn’t something you were ready to be apart of.

You shook your head at the bard whose bottom lip stuck out in a plea, “No. Not happening.”

Jaskier groaned, “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Jaskier—“

“I’ve never taken you on a proper date, Y/N, and this is the closest thing we’ll get to one.” Your features softened at his sincerity. “I’ve been improving in training, not fighting the long, treacherous, hours I am forced to duel with such a wonderful human as yourself—“ Your scoff only made him louder, “I think I deserve a reward, hm? And you as well.”

He gestured to the papers in your lap, eyebrows raised in censure.

You clicked your tongue, “Your idea of a reward is dragging me to a wedding banquet?”

“One I will be getting paid heftily for and will have lots and lots of free food.” You raised your brows, not convinced. Jaskier groaned, taking your hands in his own. “What will convince you to say yes?”

You blinked, “Not much.”

The sternness in your eyes softened as he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your lips. It was so sweet, so simple, that you had to force yourself not to swoon when you parted. With his forehead to your own, he whispered, “Please?”

You sighed, regretting how easy it was for him to make you cave, “Fine.”

“Spectacular!” Jaskier jumped away from you, clapping his hands together with a wide smile. “I have your outfit on the way.”

Your voice couldn’t have been drier, “Great.”

—

As soon as you and Jaskier made it to the banquet, it was painfully obvious you had never set foot in one before. You were constantly tugging at the clothes Jaskier picked for you, feeling like they were too tight or too loose or just wildly uncomfortable. They were stunning, sure, but on you, it felt just…wrong. You were so grateful that Jaskier didn’t have a fit about you keeping your knives on you — the long sleeves and cuffs covered them up enough. That helped you feel at least a tiny bit more comfortable — that, and Jaskier at your side.

The two of you strode into the main hall like you owned the place. And by ‘the two of you’, it was almost 100% Jaskier. He smiled genuinely at the royals he passed, complimented people whenever he could, and even recognized a few of them. It was moments like this that you forgot Jaskier was put through all the events of the guild, and that you were apart of it. Before then, this was probably a normal occurrence. Performances might have been the craziest part of his life.

While all this was happening, you tried to look natural. You didn’t know what the proper etiquette of a date was, so you just let Jaskier lead you wherever you went. He sat with you at the table you were given, chatting lowly with you as the rest of the guests arrived.

“How do you feel?” He asked, his hand resting on your own.

You took a sharp breath in. I feel like I don’t belong. But the truth wasn’t something Jaskier should hear right now — not before his performance.

You sighed. “How do you feel? Are you ready to go up there?”

“I was born ready.”

“Of course.”

A strange silence fell over you two. It wasn’t something you were used to. Silence with Jaskier was the strangest feeling. It wasn’t like you two couldn’t just sit in each other’s presence without speaking— the difference this time was that Jaskier was looking at you like he wanted to speak, but couldn’t find the words.

But soon, he did. “What do you think of weddings?”

“I don’t, really.” You turned to him slightly, removing your gaze from the people around you. “Why?”

“I’ve been to a lot of banquets, a lot of weddings. No matter how many times I perform, nothing quite beats the atmosphere of true love, does it?”

You searched his face, then shrugged. “I suppose not.” Quite frankly, you didn’t know what atmosphere he was talking about. The only things you noticed in places like this were the amount of people and the possible dangers. And you always made sure to take account of every exit, just in case. But love? And true love, at that?

You were still mulling his observation over when he spoke again, “Did I tell you that you’re wonderful today?”

The heat rose to your skin quicker than you could cough out a ‘yes’. Because, indeed, Jaskier had made a point of complimenting you, and had done so multiple times on the way over. And every time, it didn’t fail to make you flustered.

Being with Jaskier didn’t mean you were used to his charm.

By the time your face finally cooled down, it was time for him to perform. He patted your hand, a silent reminder that he would be back very soon. But while he performed, his eyes would only wander from yours for a fraction of time — and when they found yours again, they seemed starved of your presence, starved of your gaze.

As you watched him play, you were taken back to one of the first moments you shared. He had let you play his lute — or, try to. Watching him now, you didn’t even want to recall how awful it had sounded when you did it. But you supposed that wasn’t the point. Good sound or not, it brought you two together.

—

The night was going longer than you expected. If you were being honest, you were a little bored. There was no point to a banquet other than having a good time, no fights to keep your mind occupied — well, except for the two men in a fighting match over who killed more elves. Other than that, all you could do was watch Jaskier perform and wonder how much time was left in this ‘atmosphere of love’.

Eventually, Jaskier’s performance was concluded. The band behind him continued playing, becoming immediately worse as soon as he stopped singing. You smiled as he accepted compliments from guests on his way over to you. Though you were a bit restless in environments like this, seeing him in his element was always worth it.

That’s what you thought until he came up to you, reaching his hand out for you to accept.

Your smile immediately turned into a glare. “You are not making me dance here, Jaskier.”

Jaskier laughed, making your stiffened body relax, “No, I am not.”

Though you were relieved, you frowned, taken back by his words. “Why?”

“Because you don’t like it. Last time I tried to make you dance with me you told me you’d rather stab your own eye out.” Jaskier let his hand fall to his side. “Why would I make you do something you hate?”

You blinked, still surprised by how well he knew you. “What do you suppose we should do now, then?”

Jaskier looked around him, “Well…we could leave.”

“But—“

“My performance is over and this wedding banquet is a drag.” Jaskier’s smile made your heart leap, “Besides, we can have much more fun back in our room.”

It was impossible for you to miss his wink, and still, it made your skin feel like it was on fire.

Wordlessly, you let him take your hand, and the two of you practically ran out of that achingly boring banquet.

—

“Well that was a bit dull, wasn’t it?”

Jaskier dropped his lute into its case as soon as the door was closed behind you.

You lifted your leg onto the nearby chair to remove your knives, “Apart from your performance, I would have rather listened to Geralt snore.”

“He would kill you if he heard that.”

You snorted, “He would try.”

With a huff, you put your knives on the table and looked down at the outfit Jaskier chose for you. After this long of a night, they didn’t feel as uncomfortable as they did before — still, you didn’t think you would ever wear it again. But something about the way Jaskier was sitting in the chair beside the bed, rolling up the sleeves of his undershirt, it made something shift inside of you.

With a click of your tongue, you walked over to Jaskier with your hand stretched towards him.

He frowned, “What’s this?”

You shrugged, “I owe you a dance.”

“You don’t have to—“

“I don’t like dancing. In public.” You pointedly looked around the room, then back to Jaskier. “I don’t see anyone but us in here.”

To his silence, you stretched your hand further, urging him to take it.

He did.

In the silence of the room, you felt like everything was so loud. Jaskier fell into position so naturally that it took you aback — his hand fell on your waist, his other one grabbing your own in a simultaneously strong and soft grip, pulling your body close enough to his to feel his chest rise and fall against yours. And just like that, you were dancing.

Okay, Jaskier was dancing. You tried to follow as closely as possible, but dancing was never something you were taught as a child. Or an adult, for that matter. And even though it was commonly compared to fighting, you couldn’t seem to get the hang of where your feet should go and when.

It was the third time you stepped on Jaskier’s foot when he snorted a laugh, “You need lessons.”

You finally looked up from the floor and back at his face, no longer worrying about where your feet went. “Shut up.”

“Okay.”

His head dipped closer to yours, forehead resting against your own as if asking for permission for a kiss. You both knew he didn’t need it, but the gesture made you smile. And then your eyes fell to his lips, smile falling as you closed the remaining space between you two — and even though it definitely wasn’t the first time, the kiss engulfed you in that euphoric feeling your remembered so clearly, the feeling that followed you ever since you and Jaskier became a ‘we’.

And suddenly, that ‘atmosphere of true love’ that Jaskier mentioned earlier that evening…it didn’t seem so foreign anymore.

———————————————————————————————————

:,))))

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

Fun Times with Wankers and Twats

Summary- Set with Playing It Cool characters. Mike x You. Going to one of Mallorys one woman shows might actually prove to be a good time Mike finds out. Nsfw. Sexy time.

Work Count- 5k

A/N- Named “Me” Mike cause I like that better. Mallory is doing some British Slang, given to me by @what-is-your-plan-today (thanks babes, I so appreciate the help) and well excuse how bad her imitations are. Lol

You looked over Mikes shoulder at the computer screen that he had been staring at for the past fifteen minutes, his eyes just roving back and forth reading. Proof reading quickly before he had Scott or Samson read it. Your hand slid along his shoulders and could feel the tension in them, knotting right where it always did when he was close to finishing. Digging your fingers into the muscle and rolling your palm into them made him sigh with relief. “You need to relax Mike, you know its good.”

“But is it good enough?” He pondered, sliding his fingers over the mouse to save it.

Causing you to roll your eyes at him, and grip the back of his wheely chair, pulling it away from the screen, turning it so he was facing away from the screen and more at you, you leaned down so your hands were bracing against the arms on either side of him and your face was inches away. “If I said it was fictional magic would you believe me? Action pack vividness? Dramatic flair making me just wanna throw myself at the main character? I mean, that would mean leaving you for a fictional character, but damn baby you wrote him just that damn good.”

“I would have to find his fictional ass and kick it for stealing my girl.” He said so solemnly that you chuckled and pecked his lips in a kiss. “and I can see down your shirt.” His head tilted, admiring the view. You tipped your own head to see what he was seeing, and you winked at him afterwards. “Preview for later, come on. You need to get dressed a bit more then tshirt and boxers.” Lifting yourself away and he scowled at loosing the view.

“Later? why the hell we waiting till later?” He groaned and tipped his head back, stretching out his arms over his head. “Where we going?”

You grabbed your purse and tossed your phone in, looking over at him low class acting like a child with that scowl on his face. “Mallory invited us to her one woman reading tonight. And were going to be supportive friends and go.”

He groaned once more in the child like whine of his, pushing his laptop shut. “Watch this is gonna be something like the vagina monologues. I can already see it now Y/N. There better be plenty of drinks coming to our table.” You nodded listening to him and leaned your chin on your palm, elbow to the counter.

“Handsome, would I ever drag you to anything that doesn’t have beer? And You cant bring up that one time at my parents dinner party, cause I snuck it in for you.”

He grinned as he spun the chair and got up to head into the bedroom, grabbing a pair of jeans from the dresser. “Okay, I give you that. And like you said, were supporting Mallory.” You patiently wait, keys in hand, going to grab his phone off the table and tossing it as well in your bag. Mike had a writers brain, scattered and daydreaming alot. He came out patting his pockets, looking around.

“On the table by the door, along with the keys” You shoulder your bag, knowing he was looking for his wallet. Going to where you told him, a big grin crossed his face, and slipped both in his back pocket, wrapping an arm over your shoulder as he followed you out into the apartments lobby once locking the door. “What would I do without you sweetheart?” He kissed your temple and you smirk, looking up at him as you to wrap your arm around to rest your hand in his pocket, squeezing his ass lightly.

“Crash and burn Mike, Crash and burn.” chuckling as the two of you reach the car, you split away to get in on the passengers side once he unlocks it, and get comfy, the bar wasnt to far off, but you suspected you might be giving a few rides home. While Mike pulled off the curb, you dug out your phones and wallet, storing the rest of the bag on the back seat floor.

Mallory was already ringing your phone, and when you clicked answer, she didn't even give you a chance to say hello "oye! When ya getting here?!"

"Mal, relax. Fifteen minutes, plus you saved us a table front row right?" Your eyes rolled to see Mike give an audible groan, making you snicker.

"Course ya blimey wanker. Tell Mikey Boy to quit pissing and moaning."

"Mal said quite pissing and moaning."

Raising his voice he shouted. "This time she better not throw decapitated baby heads at my crotch either. Thats not art Mallory, that's battery."

"Oh what a twat. You can't censor me darlings, cheerio!" CLICK! And she was gone. Mallory was pretty ... Someone all her own.

"Sounds like were betting a British Mallory tonight" you exclaim excitedly as he looked to find parking. You search through the cars cup holders for change to toss into the parking meters.

"As long as its not that German one. Shes always violent when its the German one." He grumbled as he got out, recalling how fond he was when she threw several heads screaming in what you only assume was German, you were inclined to agree. Following him out, you handed the change to him to fill the meter.

Inside the local bar it was dark, a tad smokey, and the clinks of shots being taken at the bar are the first thing to notice. Next is a spotlight flooding the small stage towards the back, and there is Mallory dressed in a black dress, and a lit smoke balanced delicately between two fingers. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, rolling her heeled foot with impatience and bringing her fancy cigarette to her lips.

"My darlings! There you are!" She hops down and you look over your shoulder to see Mike close by, coming right up behind you and kissing the curve of your neck playfully, whispering. “Shes not armed is she?”

You squint at the woman coming towards you, and whisper back. “Not that I can tell.” Grinning and placing a hand to your hip, acting as if you were checking Mallory out. “Well M’Lady, arnt you looking fine.”

You could see that she soaked in the compliment, tilting her head back and bringing the cigarette to her lips, pursing them in an exaggerated manner to purr out a ring of smoke. “Thank you darling, its all for the art that is life. Now you bitches come sit down.”

Charming as always.

She grabbed your hand, and she tugged the two of you to a crowded table. You promptly took the seat next to Scott, and gave a small wave hello to the other two occupants there, Samson and Lyle. They currently were debating over beer, which was the better kind. Samson was all for an all american beer such as budweiser if his comments were anything to go by. “Why change whats already good! This shit gets the job done.”

Mike behind you lowers towards your ear to speak with you. “What do you want from the bar babe?” You look down at your friends, arching brows. “Whats good tonight?” Scott just hands over his craft beer, allowing you to taste. It wasnt bad, dark though. Samson holds up the all familiar red and white bottle and gives a low burp, and Lyle, well.... whatever he had just looked messed up, sloshing neon poison in his cup. “My own brew, I snuck it in. Made it in the back of my van.” Yea, Hard pass buddy.

“Think Im gonna go with what Scotts having.” You tip your head back and nip in play at his jawline, and his hand gives your ass a slight pinch making you wiggle in your seat. Mallory next to you finishes off her shot of Vodka, about to throw her glass cause she was just that out there of a woman, but you take it from her before that happens.

“Vodka to Wanker! Refill me up Buddy” She yells before grasping her black clutch and pulling out a tube of red lipstick, applying it heavily.

“You ready? Looks like a good crowd.” You look around the room, and it did seem exceptionally busy tonight.

“Always, my life is nothing but a stage” She said enthusiastically and puckered her lips, kissing your cheek to leave a mark on it. “Now I must go appease my fans.” She handed off her clutch to you and dispersed to the stage. Mike came back, just as you were digging for a napkin to smudge off Mallorys lipstick, he handed off your beer to you and a smirk played on his lips.

“You know if you wanted to get frisky with Mal, all you had to do was tell me, dont need to hide it.” He grinned, sipping from his beer he had gotten himself, and set Mallorys refilled vodka towards the middle of the table so no one would mess around with it.

“You would like that wouldnt you.” You licked your thumb and scrubbed at your cheek. “Help me get it off?” You grab his hand and suck on his thumb to the first knuckle, using your tongue to moisten his fingertip. Smirking as you saw his eyes darken at the sight. Take that Handsome! He popped it from between your lips and started to wipe off the lipstick.

“I would be lying if I didnt say that it would be pretty hott.” he shrugged, looking at you from a sideways glance while he tipped his glass up to his lips. You arched your brows, and bit your lip, glancing at Mallory getting herself prepared on stage. You know hes expecting you to call him on his shit, but oh no, your not about that today.

“You know what Mike” Your hand slides against his thigh, sliding to the inside and grasping lightly. “You go ahead and ask her baby, see how she feels about it.” Might have been mean, you were well aware of there history together, Mike having told you when you two first started going out. Now it was truly all under the bridge between them, but he did spurt his beer back in his glass in surprise, causing you to snort laughing. It was this moment the rest of the guys decided to throw in there opinions.

“You know there aint nothing wrong with adding a little spice to the bedroom.” Samson remarked. “Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma’am.”

You snicker. “Im sure your wife is all about bringing another woman into the bed to join you two.” He shrugged and sighed at that.

“She is less in favor then I am, that is for certain. It will happen one day though, I have faith!”

Lyles eyes never left Mallory as he remarked “Hey, as long as you both are into it, I dont see the harm in having a good fuck once in a while.” At this Scott rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“You all are hopeless, if you love someone, whats the need to add anymore into the bedroom then just the two of you. Its supposed to be an expression of love.” Leave it to Scott to bring in the more serious aspect, you rest your head on his shoulder and remark.

“Awww Scottie-too-hottie, we all love you.” He resigned that none of you would actually take him seriously, and turned his attention back to the stage once the lights started to dim. Mallory, in all her dramatic glory whipped on stage, her heels clicking, her hand holding her cigarette held jaunty in the air. “Women can fake orgasms, and men can fake a relationship.... My memoirs”

There was a semi collective groan at your table. And you still having your hand on Mikes thigh gave a light squeeze. Be nice. He glanced over at you and rubbed your lower back as his way of forgiveness, not wanting to interrupt Mallorys opening. “When I was 13, I had my first period...” Oh boy.

You kinda go in and out, of paying attention, cause Mike reached under the table for your hand grasping his thigh and slid it up, cause sure enough, there was something much more interesting to pay attention to for you. Your palm cupped his erection through his jeans, and he leaned his elbows on the table, hands cradling his face as he watched the stage. You know that apt focus, unblinking eyes and flared nostrils are not because the show was that good.

Sorry Mal. We still love you though.

You slide your chair over closer to Mike, changing from leaning on Scotts shoulder to his, and flicked your fingers to snap open the button of his pants. Tilting your head to bite his shoulder, whispering just for him to hear. “Get them down Stud, and I will really make this worth it.” Without looking or acknowledging you, he did as you asked, dropping a hand momentarily under then table, then bringing it back up.

Drawing him from his pants and boxers, giving him a full palm wrap around, and your thumb circling the head, pressing lightly along the slit, a little moist. You kept your movements subtle, a light squeeze, fingertips trailing up and down his length, which now you could feel was fully perked due to interest in your part. A dip of the hand once you reached near his groin, rolling his testicles around your fingers. Your gaze went back and forth beween his face and the stage, where Mallory started in on her next traumatizing bit.

“If sex is a pain in the ass, then trust me, your doing it wrong”

Your attention returns to Mallory, still giving firm strokes to Mikes cock under the table, you could see when he went to grasp his beer bottle, he did a bit to hard, his knuckles growing white, the way he swallowed down his drink was harsh, not a sip but a large gulp. On the other side the rest were oblivious to what game you two were toying at, it made it that much more exciting. That much more of a risk. God you almost wanted to drag him home now. Or back to the backseat of the car, that was fun.

Tensing in your hold, you felt him stiffen in his seat, and a rugged word commanding your movements. “Faster” and you rubbed your nose in against his neck, kissing that little spot near his ear that always made him inhale sharply. Today was no different.

“Feel good doesnt it, playing out in the open.” A bite to his lobe and pulling away, sure to keep yourself angled into him. Now you worked him, your thumb sweeping over his head, following the slit collected pre cum, and you jerked your hand faster, to bring him to release. Now his breathing was ragged sharp inhales through his nose, not daring to open his mouth should he make a interrupting sound. Once in a while his hip would jerk, following your hand and you would press your face in against his shoulder to hide a chuckle from you.

“Oh fuck.” He wheezed and there it was, his cock throbbing, and pumping in your hand, released, and he took a gasp, his leg accidentally kicking against the table leg.

“Leg cramp babes?” You question to hide from the others who glanced at you with questioning looks, Mike promptly nodded in reply with what you were saying. When no one was paying attention, you lifted your hand away and sucked on a fingertip, tasting him as he hurriedly stuffed himself back away, his eyes flashing at the way you were sucking him off your hand. He groaned and couldnt tear his eyes away. Grinning as you bit the tip of your finger, you leaned into him and slanted your face to fit your lips against his. The tip of your tongue trailed the seam of his mouth and the moment he parted his lips, you plunged in. Oh baby, this was all your kiss, and you were sure to keep all control of it. Drawing back your tongue, and swiping over his teeth, back to tangle with his.

“You two are seriously making out during this?” Scott chided the two of you while Samson at the other end of the table was doing a fist pump. Lyle at this point was drowsy and half hanging in his chair, probably whatever poison he managed to brew in the back of that van.

“What? that was riveting emotional story telling.” You smile innocently at Scott who narrows his eyes at you, Mike loping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you in close.

“We got caught up in the moment, Scott.” Mike grinned, obvious in being a shit about it.

“What was the play about, Hmm?” He arched his brows, and a slight panicked look crossed Mikes face as he sought out an answer hopefully from Samson or Lyle, but they both had a smug look on there face. You two werent necessarily caught, but they all knew something was up.

“Uuuh er- about her weirdly adolescent life changes? With Wanker thrown in continuously?” Mike took a shot in the dark, and they all grumbled, yea he gotten it right. Dont ask him the personal details, which he was damn glad he didnt pay attention to now. Some things, you just dont need to know. If there was one thing he was good at, it was using his writers brain to bullshit a lie into believable.

Mallory bounced off stage, her cigarette finally gone off the stick, but she collected her back satchel from you and dug on out. Not that she was a smoker, it was more once she was in a character, she remained in that character. “So? What did all my lovelies think?”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, occupied with looking in there glasses, or finishing the last swallow or two, Mallory looked wide eyed around the table. “Well dont everyone gush about my performance at once.”

You decided that you would break the seconds of silence. “Babes, Love. Magnificent, I might leave Mike and shack up with you instead. You get me, your performance, so great!” Shit shit shit shit, what did she say? Something about asses. “I think more men should take it in the ass to see what you were talking about.”

So this made Scott start laughing, he was just about crying, Mike and Samson both choked on that last swallow, and Lyle just shrugged and gave a goofy grin. “Sure, I try anything once!”

Mallory gave you the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, replacing the one she had left there earlier. “Darling, YOUR THE BEST.” grabbing her vodka from before, she shot it down all to once, getting to finally smash her glass on the ground in a dramatic turn of events. “SHOTS ON ME!” She grabbed Scott this time as Mike ducked out of her reach, and she stomped off with him. Mike came back up to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in close to him, swaying a bit to the jazz music playing.

“You want to get me pegged?” He mused, arching a brow, and he lifted to lick the pad of his thumb, rubbing it over your cheek to remove the kiss mark once more.

“Well as Lyle said, should at least try anything once.” You grin teasing as you to wrap your arms around him and tilt your head back enough to look up at him. He rolled his eyes, and gave you a playful kiss, nipping lightly.

“Only thing Im pegging is you when we get home.”

“Well Handsome, im looking forward to that very much” You are sure to grind your hips against his, and he roughly dragged you into a kiss, hissing against your lips. “Tease!”

“Got the drinks Wankers, come and get them.” She said in her very fake accent, and you weaved a finger in Mikes belt loop, dragging him back to the table and taking two shots, handing one to him. Straight up tequila, you thought looking at the taunting liquid in the glasses, well it does make your clothes fall off apparently.

“So let me start by saying, Mallory, as always, great set.” Mike started, followed by Samson saying “Hear hear, I feel like I know all the struggles you went through, and never want to hear it again.”

Mallory grinned “Theres only five more of these you need to attend.”

Lyle, he tipped his head and hold up both his shot and poison liquor “Heres to five more retelling of Mallorys sexual escapades.”

There really was nothing more to add, and the group of you lifted your shots in honor of the performance, and tipped back. That burn made your eyes water, and gasp out. One of you said “Lets do another” It might have been you, were not keeping track... and the next couple hours you all were pounding shots and chasing with beers. There was no way you were going to be driving anyone home.

Stumbling from the bar giggling with Mallory, you have her under your arm, and Mike is on the other side of you. Her apartment was nearby, as was yours so it just made sense to walk. You dig into Mallorys purse for the lipstick, leaning over the hood of the car and writing across the windshield. ‘NO DD, WE PICK UP IN SUN TIME’

Drunk you was a unable to think

“That looks right? They know who it be” You giggle again as you slid off the car hood, and luckily Mike was standing there to catch you as you stumble forward, the two of you giggling, as you use his shirt to stay upright. “Mikey, Im drunk.”

“Me to baby.” He snorted, his blue eyes shining a bit brighter the usual with the giddiness.

Samson and Lyle went off another way, and you three take to the street. You and Mallory trying to list off British slang in what now sounded like Australian accents instead of British.

“Knobheaded Twatters”

“God those dick heads be fucking Mungers”

“What the hell is a munger?” You question, and Mallory shrugs when Mike pipes up “A real ugly S.O.B”

This went on for several blocks, getting shouted at from sleeping people opening there windows to tell them to shut up. Mallory threw off a fit with one of them

“Come down here you Slag, thats right, I saw One Eyed Joe go in your apartment last week!”

Finally you all make it to a breaking point, and split, You and Mike giggling all the way up your stairs, and your trying to find the key to the door while he is sloppily kissing your neck and reaching up your shirt to play with your breasts, massaging them in a way that had you whining. “Im trying to open the door Babe”

“And Im trying to wank you” He grinned while biting your shoulder.

“Is that even a term?”

“It is today.” He shoves the door open once you get it unlocked and shoves it closed once you two are inside. Hes already shedding clothes, and you go to fall on the couch, arm over your face. “Ugh I cant tonight.” You peek at him and giggle once more as hes hoping around on one foot trying to get his jeans off. He tosses them across the room, any change, wallet and phone went skittering across the floor and he goes over to you, grabbing your arms, you groaning in protest.

“Mikkkkeyyyyy Im tired”

“Need an aspirin?” He asks as he gets you up and you lean into his chest, kissing and nipping around one of his nipples, cause you could, cause it was fun to get a reaction out of him, lightly scratching your nails up and down his sides. Deciding to further tease him.

“No, I need the dick. Now!” Changing your mind, you backed away and he followed, his eyes going dark in lust again and you made a come hither motion. Unaware of how far you had gone, the back of your knees hit the bed and you fell backwards onto it. “Ooh!”

Mike took this moment to pounce, straddling you and lifting your shirt, he tossed that away to. “Fuck baby, that was so hot tonight” talking about your under the table hand job. “The way you just jerked me off, then licking off those fingers.” You smirked and licked your lips, purring. “It was fun, we could have been caught and kicked out.” laughter bubbling up as your squirming underneath him, panting as you can feel the bulge in his boxers where he was straddling you, and your hands was trying to twist behind you to get your bra off, he assisted, finally pulling it free from your arms.

“I wanted to be under that table so bad, you have no idea. Next time were going someplace more private.” He tilted over you and straightened out to lay over you, his knee parting your thighs and rubbing it against your core. You might have ground yourself back, feeling the pressure ignite a flame in your lower belly, starting from the core.

“Agree Sexy” He chained kisses down your neck, and over your collarbone, hyping you back up with anticipation to feel his mouth on your breasts, his hands firmly covering them. Getting to his hands covering you, he replaced them, rubbing his whiskered chin roughly in between the valley and sucking on the curve, lap of his tongue swirling and twirling over the erected nipples, making you whimper and giggle again in your drunken haze. Reaching down to slide your hands under his boxers waist band and dig your fingers into the cheeks, pressing him to grind into you.

“Then you agree I need you in me right this fucking second?” You bit his shoulder, and huffed against his neck. Your breasts muffled his next words and you let go of his ass cheek to cup his face, drawing him to look up. “What?”

“I said, fucking hell yes Baby” He lifted off and luckily you were wearing a skirt, so he pushed it up around your hips, and slid his boxers down enough for his cock to spring out, you giggled once more seeing him at attention and reach up to wrap your hand around the back of his neck, bringing him down to your mouth, needing to taste him, feel him once more. Your kiss is clashing teeth, a pull and tug on both of your part, Hot sloppy, tongue lapping kiss as he shoves aside your panties enough and fills your entrance with his cock.

So he was trying for slow, but you needed him now, so a push on his ass, and a lift of your hips, you whine into your fevered kiss at how he stretched you open so suddenly, loving that burn. You move your legs to wrap around his hips, thighs clasping his hips snugly. “Give it to me stud” His arms rested on either side of your head, and immediately started to rut and grind his hips, making you arch, going between moans and laughter. “Fuck yes! Oh you feel so good.” Vocal in your current mood, his grunts huff against your neck, your nails digging into his back, rocking with him.

Having fallen on the edge of the bed, you two end up slipping off, your head banging on the floor and all of him tangled around you. He stutters to a stop and his hand lifts your head to check it. “Oh Shit baby, you okay!?”

You wince and rock your hips, shuddering when you feel him hit your g-spot. “Yea baby, Im fine except you left me so close to cumming all over you. Dont let me loose it.” You whimper and look up at him, biting your lip as your channel flexes around him, just begging for more of him. So he returned to his fast rapid pace, Even he could feel his fast approaching orgasm, and it spurred him on. “Touch yourself baby”

Nodding you reached between your grinding bodies, feeling for your bud, and when you pressed down, you jolted underneath him. “MIKE!” It spiked arousal through you to squirt, and you rolled it around with that pressure you liked so much. “Im there baby, Oh god, Oh god Oh fuck, I hope you are to.”

“Yea I am” Gritting out, his balls tightening and staggering his thrusts filling you. You started clamping and tightening sharply around him, arching your back and grabbing his shoulders to anchor as you cried out his name, himself following right along, spilling hot jets of thick cum into you, pumping himself harder, till finally he was spent, you were spent, both of you stilling in a collapsed heap. You just lazed underneath him moaning on your bedroom floor, right next to your bed. His body sinking on yours, hot and sweaty, using his elbows to keep himself upright enough to not crush you.

There was a few moments of silence before Mike lifted his head where he had it resting on your shoulder to catch his breath, looking down at you as you, closed eyed and humming softly in bliss was relaxing.

“Why is knob head an insult? Shouldnt it be kind of a compliment? Im rather fond of my---”

You shove at him before he could finish, the both of you laughing and he rose to get up, holding out a hand and getting you up off the floor to, his hands sliding to your hip and dragging your skirt down to step out of it, kissing on your neck and shoulder affectionately.

“You are a knob head” You ran your hands over his buzzed head, and down the sides of his face to feel the scratch on your palms. Mike nudged you back onto the bed, and flopped down next to you, wrapping you in his arms, spooning you back to his chest.

“Maybe, but Im your knob head.” He breathed softly against your neck, your hands sliding over his folded over your lower stomach, giggling once more as sleepiness started to close your eyelids.

“Your right, Love you Knobhead”

“Love you more Twat”

@what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @jtargaryen18 @p8tn0lish @curtisbbq @stardancerluv @imanuglywombat

#playing it cool #chris evans #me x you #Named him Mike though #Aubrey Plaza #not marvel #sweater writes

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 years

Photo

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..

If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)

7. ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 5 years

Text

Yellow Line

Title: Yellow Line

Tags: mental illness, its set in an asylum... i guess thats it pretty much

Summary: So this was a collaboration (kind of lol) with my little sister. She has a bit of a hard time in school and she knows I love writing, so when she got the assignment and asked me to help her, I was more then happy to. So the assignment was to make a short story, no longer then five pages about an island. I advised her to avoid shipwreck or plane crash cuz i figured most students would go directly to that idea, and she said she wanted creepy/scary, so this is what we came up with.

The brunette sat at the front of the small motor boat that was quickly approaching her destination. It pulled up to the island in front of her, the driver jumping onto the dock to tie the boat. She stood on shaking legs as the boat rocked beneath her with the gentle waves, accepting the hand that was outstretched to her.

“Doctor Amanda Rolins.” The man pulled her onto the dock beside him and she nodded as he continued, “I'm Doctor Markus Hamlin, head doctor of the asylum here. It’s nice to finally meet New York’s most renowned psychologist.”

“Thank-you,” she smiled, blushing slightly at the compliment, “I'm excited to take a look at your patients here. Once I complete my research and bring my findings back to my team in New York, we will see what we can do to start helping your patients.”

“I appreciate that, so far no one has been able to help. But I'm sure a doctor as well known as yourself will be able to work wonders for our patients here.” He turned, gesturing to the building behind them, “Shall we begin with a tour? Afterwards my assistant, Lina, will set you up in your room for the remainder of your stay here.”

“That sounds great.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

When they entered the building Amanda was immediately struck by a chilling feeling in her body. The hairs on her arms and neck stood on end at the cool air in the building, and as they continued deeper into the facility the hallways got darker. A light blue hue took over, and she couldn’t help but feel a sense of anxiety come over her as they continued on.

Turning down a hall to their left and through a set of locked double doors, the chill in the air seemed to get worse when she was met with another long hallway, only this one was lined with large floor to ceiling windows on either side. She stepped forwards cautiously, Markus tight on her heels as she walked past the endless windows. Inside each one was a single patient, a bed, and a small bathroom, the entire space no bigger then a small office.

Markus searched her face, trying to read her expression as they walked in silence before clarifying, “Many of our patients are considered highly dangerous, not only to the staff, but to themselves. The full windows allow the doctors here, as well as the security staff who walk the halls, to keep an eye on them at all times. Each room is also equip with camera surveillance that’s fed back to the nurse’s station up front. It’s the best way we can help to keep them calm and safe.”

She nodded, not adding anything else, but she couldn’t help but think to herself that this seemed more like a prison then somewhere for people to get help.

She slowly wandered a few more steps, coming to a stop at one of the windows. Inside was a boy, huddled in the middle of the wall beside the window. His knees were up to his chest and his hands here buried in his hair. He intrigued her, why she didn’t know, but she turned her body and began walking closer to the window.

Markus’s hand wrapped tightly around her elbow stopped her, pulling her from her trance. She quickly turned her head to look at him as he whispered in her ear, “Do not pass the yellow line, do not touch the glass.”

Without another word he let her go and walked past her down the hall. When he was almost at the end she finally gained the courage to look down. At her feet, just by the edge of her toes, was a thick bright yellow line that ran down both sides of the hallway. She didn’t know what this line was for, or what he meant by what he had said. She spared one last quick glance at the boy through the glass, who was still huddled against the wall unmoved, before she quickly turned and decided she did not want to find out.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“And this will be your room while you stay on the island with us.” Lina, Markus’s assistant, had lead them to a part of the asylum at the very back of the building. Her room was small but good enough for her short stay here. It consisted of a bed, a desk, a small sitting area, kitchen, and bathroom off the back. “If you need anything else while you're here just let me know. My rooms right down the hall there.”

“This looks great, thanks,” she nodded as she threw her bags on the bed.

“No problem.” Lina turned to walk out of the room, but before she closed the door turned back to say, “Doctor Markus will be busy for the rest of the day but feel free to start your research any time. The facility is completely open to you.”

She smiled as Lina left, closing the door behind her. She took a few moments to dig through her bag, taking out a small note pad and pen for the time being. She decided on spending the rest of the day quietly observing the patients from the hallway, and hopefully she could talk to Markus about entering the rooms to give each patient a proper exam the next day. With her tools in hand she left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours into her walk through the halls, Amanda had made a few small observations on some of the patients and their current states in their rooms. Despite the constant reminder of Markus’s words running through her mind, that the patients were dangerous, from where she stood she hadn’t seen anything to be worried about so far. Most of the patients seemed calm and comfortable in their rooms. Some reading, some sleeping, it didn’t give her a feeling of danger.

She then found herself in a familiar hallway, in front of a familiar window. The same boy from before sat in the same place, same position as he had been when she stopped here earlier. Back against the wall, knees to his chest, and hands in his hair. She watched him for a few minutes, oddly curious about this one specific patient and his condition, and the entire time she stood watching him he never moved.

The air seemed to chill even more around her, and she once again found herself walking closer to the window, just wanting a better look at this boy. Markus’s warning from earlier forgotten as the tip of her toe slid across the yellow line. For the first time she since had been watching him she noticed a slight twitch to the boys head, as if his eyes were watching her from the side as she stepped even closer. With one more step both feet crossed the line now and she was nearly flush against the window. In a sudden rush the boy was on his feet, standing directly in front of her on the other side of the window, though she didn’t move away. She found that she couldn’t, but instead was pulled even closer.

She lifted both hands, slowly and gently laying them on the glass of the window, and the boy did the same. When their hands were in the same position he looked up to meet her eyes and she was in shock. She took in his appearance, his wore a white shirt and loose white pants, slightly dirty and ripped in some places, his hair was also white, but his eyes where what caught her attention. There was no iris or pupil, just a hazy white storm, and when she looked deep into his eyes the fear she should have felt coming into this place hit her hard and fast.

Before she knew what was happening she was surrounded by a thick grey fog, creeping across her body and covering her completely. A voice cut through the fog, one she instantly remembered, “You… you were supposed to help me.”

Turning to her left she saw the young girl, sixteen, Karen. Eyes wide, she choked out, “You… you died, you're dead.”

Karen walked closer, until she was a few feet away from Amanda and whispered again, “You were supposed to help me. Why didn’t you help me?!”

“I'm sorry!” Amanda shouted, tears in her eyes.

Karen quickly took the remaining steps between them, and finally Amanda was able to pull away from the window. Eyes closed and waiting for Karen to touch her, nothing happened. Slowly she opened her eyes to find the fog gone and the hallway empty aside from herself.

She turned back to the window, the boy’s hands no longer on the glass, but his stormy eyes still fixed on her. In a panic she jumped back across the yellow line and without another look back to the boy through the window, she ran full speed down the hall and back to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Slamming the door behind her she slid down to the ground with her hands over her face. Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, she tried to convince herself that what she saw was not real, it was her imagination and nothing more. Then the chill came back, worse then it had been before and the fog with it.

Her stomach clenched and her fingers clutched tightly to her hair as she looked up to find Karen staring down at her. Tears streamed down her face now, breathing becoming hard, and her voice completely lost.

“I needed your help,” Karen was so close now, “I needed you!”

Before she could get any closer Amanda stood and ran out of the room. She ran as fast as she could through the asylum, down the halls searching for a way out, and she found it in the form of an emergency exit down a small hidden hallway. She ran towards the metal door and slammed her entire body against it, nearly tripping as she ran outside and into the forest surrounding the building. But the fog had followed her, began chasing her through the forest. And every time she ran faster it would move faster too. Until it finally got in front of her and no matter how fast she ran, she could not escape it.

She ran in every direction, around trees, down hills and through the thick bush, but nothing could get her away from it. Then, she came back.

Karen was at every turn, every small break in the fog she was there. No matter where she went she couldn’t get away from her and her words, “You left me!”

“No I didn’t.”

Another turn and she was there again, “I died because of you!”

“I tried to help, I'm sorry!”

Stumbling, Amanda crashed hard to the ground, scraping her knees on rocks and drawing blood through her jeans. Feet came into view and she looked up at Karen, “I am your fault.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

The brunette sat against the wall, straight jacket clinging to her body and holding her arms tightly in place. Her scrapped knees bandaged and pulled to her chest as she rocked back and forth, two sets of eyes watching her through the floor to ceiling window.

“You found her where?”

“In the back forest,” Lina stood beside Markus, clipboard in hand jotting notes.

He chuckled, hands behind his back as he watched the once sane Doctor Amanda Rolins on the other side of the window, “That didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would.”

Lina nodded, closing the note pad and holding it under her arm, “It was a good idea, seeing how someone with not only her amount of intelligence but also a past as like hers would hold up in here, with these kinds of patients.”

“My best and most successful experiment yet.” She nodded as he turned and gestured her towards the front of the building, “Come, Lina, I think our newest guest Doctor Tyler Scanson is arriving.”

End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah, that was the story she handed in :D She should hopefully be getting a grade this week!! and i dont know if any of you would want to read this but @goingknowherewastaken @medicatemedrmccoy @weresilver-in-space you defintely dont have to read this, but i know my sister would be over the moon if y’all did XD <3 <3 <3

#original character #original #original story #short story #asylum #island #creepy #horror #suspence #mystery #school project

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crafiet · 5 years

Note

1-50 of the writers ask thingy, tell me everything :D

1 : What age-group do you write?adult! ive always written characters my age or a few years older

2 : What genre do you write?sff, mostly fantasy

3 : Do you outline according to big ideas or small details?hmmm, i guess small details? when i get an idea, i get an idea for single scenes or pieces of dialogue or a certain character, so i piece together an outline from that. but i have trouble with a overarching plot lol

4 : Which do you prefer–line-editing or plot-revisions?line-editing, i love editing. revisions suck bc it takes me 10,000 yrs to come up with an idea and now i have to replace it with another??? blasphemous

5 : Do you write better with or without deadlines?ive written my whole life without deadlines except for when i tried nano last year and failed. so without i guess, but then i dont have anything to convince me to write more lmao

6 : What would be the biggest compliment you could hope to receive on your current WIP?idk probably that its someones favourite book, or to see fanart *.*

7 : How long is your current WIP?26,305 words, its a rewrite heh

8 : What author would you be most excited to be compared to?hummmmmm,,,idk when people call new fantasy books “the next game of thrones” it sounds so fake lol but idk who my favourite author is...

9 : What do you struggle most with as a writer?writing

10 : Do you brain-storm story ideas alone or with others?mostly alone but YOU, ASH, help sometimes. its good to get an objective ear

11 : Do you base your characters off of real people?nah lol, im not good at characters

12 : Is your writing space clean or cluttered?clean

13 : Do you write character-driven or plot-driven stories?plot-driven. my writing is extremely fast paced, and i dont tend to like reading character-driven works

14 : Do you have a favorite writing-related quote?ive answered this in previous ask. the 'drunk on writing’ one by ray bradbury

15 : If you transport your original characters into another author’s world, which world would you choose?everyone else’s worlds are so harsh lol maybe id put them in atla so they can fuck around w bending

16 : Would your story work better as a movie or tv show? Why?miniseries ﾟ*｡(･∀･)ﾟ*｡ but it would lend itself to a movie yeah

17 : Do you make soundtracks for each story?nah, lazy ass

18 : If you could assign your story one song, what would it be?unbecoming by starset

19 : Would you rather live in your characters’ world, or have your characters come live in our world?honestly? i wanna escape capitalism and wield a sword

20 : What book would you love to see adapted for the big or small screen?zero world by jason m hough!!!! its a pretty big book i think a movie duology or a tv show would work!

21 : Do you finish most of the stories you start?no

22 : Has your own writing ever made you cry?no lol

23 : Are you proud or anxious to show off your writing?anxious cz im bad

24 : When did you start considering yourself a writer?i meannnnnnnn do i even now thoooooo

25 : What books are must-reads in your genre?sff is so broad, read whatever tf u want

26 : What would you like to see more of in your genre?diversity, not just in race gender sexuality but in fucking plots like damn give me something w a twist

27 : Where do you get inspiration from?real life, books, movies

28 : On a scale of 1-10, how much do you stress about choosing character names?about a 2, i just search on a generator until i find one i like im not a stickler for names nd i dont usually have placeholder names or anything

29 : Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?chronic underwriter hence the only 20k words

30 : Does writing calm you down or stress you out?calm me down, i have no control over my own life so its good to have complete control over my oc’s lives. i dont tend to have the ‘characters run away from me’ thing, but probably bc i dont see it like that lol

31 : What trope do you actually like?ride-or-die, charas who are knowledgeable and badass from the beginning, i hate following the character learning to do something lmao im impatient

32 : Do you give your side-characters extensive backstories?depends on the side character, every character is fleshed out to an extent but i dont do a massive family tree or anything

33 : Do you flesh-out characters before you write, or let their personalities develop over time?i tend to create characters before plot so i would say i know them pretty well before starting but i do let them develop naturally within the story without forcing them into any box

34 : Describe your old writing in one word.tryhard

35 : Is it more fun to write villains or heroes?mmm both have their merits, i went through a phase where i loved villains but a warped heroes journey or a morally grey/anti-hero can be super good too

36 : Do you write with a black and white sense of morality?nah, murky

37 : What’s one piece of advice you would give to new writers?try anything. anything it doesnt matter if ur nervous or you ‘dont write in that genre’ or you dont even like that genre. its good to train yourself and go out of your comfort zone, makes u a better writer imo. also dont read this and think ‘im not writing an entire historical romance novel bc i hate it’ i mean just one shots. a paragraph or two. try out writing prompts, it really flexes ur skillsalso dont feel like everything u have to write will be published, thats what i mean by try out little paragraphs or prompts. let go of this idea that any of this work will see the light of day [unless u rly want it to] and just have fun, go wild, go crazy, go stupid

38 : What’s one piece of writing advice you try–but fail–to follow?its mostly those ones that help u have cleaner, more beautiful writing. i write really beige-like and its hard to be poetic or flowery

39 : How important is positive reinforcement to you as a writer?probably super important

40 : What would you ask your favorite author if given one question?when ur next book out

41 : Do you find it distracting to read while you’re writing a first draft?nah

42 : Do critiques motivate or discourage you?ive never really had many, so i would say discourage bc i dont have a thick skin with my writing

43 : Do you tend to write protagonists like yourself or unlike yourself?unlike myself, i like to write bold, confident characters and im not that lol escapism much

44 : How do you decide what story idea to work on?whichever interests me the most at the moment, i can jump between projects easily so i dont have a problem

45 : Do you find it harder or easier to write when you’re stressed out?harder, i cant look at my writing if im stressed else ill absolutely hate it and might do something drastic like delete it all lol

46 : What Hogwarts house would your protagonist(s) be in?ary is slytherincyri is ravenclawash is gryffindorcaena is slytherin [i dont know how to spell the house names]

47 : Where do you see yourself as a writer in five years?still writing id hope

48 : Would you ever co-write?nah

49 : Are you a fast and rushed writer or a slow and deliberate writer?i used to be fast and rushed bc i was so impatient i just wanted to see the end product but i realised that i really love being in the world of my wips as long as possible so i draw it out and really mull everything over

50 : Would you rather be remembered for your fantastic world-building or your lifelike characters?both lol? i do love worldbuilding but i think characters make a greater impact

#writing #answered-ask #cloudybookash

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pinkykitten · 6 years

Text

Get Away From Her

13 Reasons Why

Zach Dempsey x female! reader

Warning: some cursing, sexual assault, marijuana, alcohol, fighting, blood

Specifics: high school, fighting, man vs man, fluff, comedy, race neutral reader

People: Zach Dempsey, you, Sheri Holland, Clay Jensen, Jeff Atkins, Bryce Walker

Words: 2,135

Summary: Bryce gets a little too comfortable with you, very handsy. He tries to get you alone but Zach is there and he doesn’t like what he is seeing. Zach does everything in his power to protect you.

Authors Note: aghhhh this is my first time writing for 13 r.w. and i luv it!!!! so just a couple of things, i do not curse in real life so the cursing in here looks like this s***. i am just too much of a cinnamon roll and i dont curse. also another thing is to me jeff never died #jeffstilldeservedbetter so he is alive in this. ALL HE HAD WAS A CAR ACCIDENT HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND RECOVERED INEEDTHISINMYLIFECAUSEILUVHIMSOMUCH!!! this deals with a lot of stuff so if this just isnt for u to read then pls skip on. anyways my sis luv zach pretty much anything that has to do with ross butler lol. hope u guys like, pls feedback y’all!

“C’mon y/n we’re gonna be late,” Sheri called waiting for you outside the bathroom.

She had asked you to help her study for a history exam you both had coming up. Of course, you being the sweetheart you accepted her request. Unknown to you though she actually wanted to get you to the party at Bryce’s house. Her excuse was, “girl, I’ve seen the way you look at Zach and its time you do something about this love crush.”

So in the bathroom you struggled to put on a dress she let you borrow.

As you opened the door you looked down not wanting to see the emotion in Sheri’s eyes, “Sheri this is waaaaayyyyy too short for me. I can’t wear dresses that almost go to my sugar land, especially at a party where there are a ton of horny boys.”

“Y/n, trust me you’ll be fine. I’ll keep on the watch for you, checking up on those horny boys. Plus, you look fantastic and thats what we want, right? Zach maybe can reach that sugar land tonight,” Sheri joked.

You slapped her playfully and grabbed your bag. Sheri said she would watch out for you, but that night was a night you thought maybe going to this party was a mistake.

As you and Sheri walked up the driveway to Bryce’s party a couple of boys ran in front of you both. Acting silly, and of course it was evident that they were drunk. Your stomach was turning and in the back of your mind you questioned whether this was such a good idea.

Sheri noticed your nervousness and grabbed your arm, “hey y/n, look just have one drink for me, then I promise I’ll take you home. Deal?”

You glanced around the house, straightened your back, put on your big girl panties on and strutted inside the house. You were going to own this night.

As you searched around the room you noticed some familiar faces from school and some new ones.

“Wow y/n, I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t know you come to parties,” your friend from Liberty High, Clay Jensen said.

You chuckled, “I didn’t know you come to these dumb things either. Plus I was forced to go.” You pointed to Sheri who was drinking already and laughing with a group of girls. “History exam.”

Clay nodded and said his goodbyes. Great, now what were you supposed to do. You looked like an idiot, just standing near the wall by yourself. That was when you saw in the distance the tall Zach Dempsey.

“Oh my god y/n, avoid eye contact at all cost. If he doesn’t catch you staring like all those other times he won’t come over here,” you thought to yourself. You looked to the side at some fake, odd, looking plant. Your mistake was you thought Zach was gone but when you went back to look at him he was still there! And his attention was on you.

“Oh sweet jesus,” you prayed aloud. You thought maybe you should pretend to talk on the phone but as you rummaged through your purse you realized you forgot the dang thing.

“Hey y/n,” a voice called from above you.

“If only that was god,” you thought in your head. “Heyyyyyy Zach. What brings you here?”

“Well its a party...so.”

Your eyes were opened wide and you plastered on this anxious, nervous, fake smile. All truthfulness you looked like you just peed your pants.

“Are you okay y/n?”

“Me? Oh yeah,” you waved his concern off, “I’m fine. Just not the party type. I just came here for a friend I’m helping Sheri study for her history exam.”

“Yeah I saw you came in with Sheri. By the way you look amazing in that dress. Your like the best dressed in the whole house.”

“Thanks,” you said awkwardly pulling down the fabric. “I mean its not mine, its Sheri’s, but you think its too much? I mean its just a party and I came all dolled up when everyone is either wearing jeans or skirts.”

“No! I mean no, I think you look perfect.”

You smiled all flustered at his compliments.

“Hey listen y/n if ever you want to-”

“Whats up bro and...y/n l/n? Wow didn’t think I’d ever catch you here.”

Bryce, Bryce Walker (lol i feel like veronica in heathers)

“Me neither,” you said trying to get out of the conversation. Rumors have spread like fire about Bryce, he was a trouble maker. You did not need that right now, actually how about never.

“Man, y/n you clean yourself up pretty good. I’m so used to seeing you all covered and a good girl. Now you look pretty bad,” Bryce winked at you while licking his lips.

“I kinda regret wearing this dress now,” you muttered under your breath.

Zach was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. He saw how much Bryce was making you uncomfortable and he just would not quit.

“Well, y/n, how bout I show you a good ti-,” Bryce had started to say but you interrupted him with a shriek.

“Oh my god Laura! Whats up cous (cousin)? No I’ll go to you,” you shouted from across the room.

Zach and Bryce’s attention was to where you were pointing and yelling.

“I’m sorry guys to cut the talk short but who would of known my cousin is here. Well, I’ll get to you guys later gotta say hi to her or else I am gonna have some family issues,” you faked laugh.

You did erupt a real laugh though as you left because you didn’t have a cousin here. You just made that up to get the heck out of that conversation! You let go of the breath you had contained inside of you.

Deciding to at least try to enjoy yourself, you grabbed a drink and raised it up to Sheri who was far away. Sheri smiled and clapped, mouthing “good for you.”

“Y/n just take one drink and then you can get the h*** out of here,” you said aloud.

Your stomach started to grumble so you grab a chip and dip it into salsa. You put the whole thing in your mouth.

“Don’t!”

You turn around to see Jeff Atkins (rip😭) , the sayings were true, he was handsome. You almost choke on your chip at his presence.

“Atkins! Boy you scared the crap out of me,” you exclaimed.

Jeff just giggled, “I’m sorry y/n.”

You shook yourself and regained your composure, “anyways, why did you say don’t?”

“That salsa had marijuana in it, I mean I’m not gonna judge or anything but that s**** strong. So just be careful.”

Your eyes almost bugged out of your head. You put the salsa and chip down and tried to take the left overs out of your mouth.

“I saw you checkin out Zach.”

“Oh my god you too! What is it with people being interested with who I like and don’t? It’s like everyone wants to know!”

“Go after him,” Jeff said leaning against the counter.

“What?”

Jeff gets closer, “hey I’m no matchmaker but, I can tell he likes you trust me I’m a guy. I know. Just go back to him and talk. Its better to talk outside so nobody can disturb you,” Jeff wiggled his eyebrows.

“First of all Jeff ewww, no, me and Zach are not doing the do. I just have a crush on him! Can it be that before we make it into teen mom. Second, you say you’re no matchmaker but you sure as h*** always try to be one. Third, I tried to talk to him and I get so nervous I sweat like a waterfall under my armpits! And fourth of all what do you know about girls?”

Jeff just shrugged, “trust me y/n. My advice will come handy one day. One day.”

You shook your head, “silly.”

Again, alone you stood by the drinks. You downed the last of the liquid and had the urge to use the bathroom. As you go to there, you see there is not a soul in sight.

“Finally, peace and quiet. I mean who would gather around and talk around the bathroom, thats just gross.”

As you opened the door to the restrooms you felt a hand on the lower part of your back. You quickly snap in the direction of the hand and see that it is Bryce.

“H-hey dude,” you said trying to sound confident and not frightened.

“Hey y/n. I wanted to finish what I started earlier. That dress it just makes the animal come out of me,” Bryce’s hands were roaming all over your body.

“Animals, I love animals. Why don’t we talk about some, like whats your favorite?”

“I much rather do this to you,” Bryce wore a smirk the whole way through. “You’re so sexy y/n, especially in this dress. How about I take it off of you?”

“Bryce quit it!” You were starting to panic. You tried to pry him off you but he was too strong. You did not want this, Sheri said she would protect you, watch out for you. “Bryce stop it!” But Bryce would not. Instead, every time you said something he would become more handsy.

“I know you want this y/n. You’re just urging for me to be inside you,” he whispered in your ear, biting your earlobe. Then he grabbed your face harshly to kiss you.

Your face squirmed in disgust, you tried to kick him in the groin but he grabbed your leg. This was it you were going to be raped on this day. Tears started to form in your eyes. You were scared no terrified at this moment. After he finished making out with you, he zipped down his pants.

Bryce kept you in a death grip. “Someone please help me! Sheri, Jeff, Zach, Clay, someone please help,” you cried in horror.

Bryce lifted your dress up and you were sobbing and asking him to stop. Just as Bryce was about to pull down his pants Zach came to view.

Zach’s eyes widened in shock. “Dude what the f*** are you doing to her?”

“C’mon Zack were just having a little fun. Right y/n?”

You shook your head into a no, tears staining your cheeks. “Bryce tried to rape me! You pig!”

“Bryce let her go,” Zach barked out.

Bryce then grabbed your butt with a smirk and massaged it. Everything went so quickly. Zach lunged for Bryce and Bryce let go of you. Zach punched Bryce’s stomach while Bryce tried to elbow Zach’s face.

Zach tackled Bryce down, Zach on top, started pounding and smashing Bryce’s face. Zach’s face was red of anger. He was so irate and so mad, that all he could do was scream and say “leave her alone.”

All you could do was stand, the moments before this fighting were still fresh in your mind. It replayed like a movie. You looked down at your hands and they were shaking. “Zach please stop!”

You knew Bryce was the golden child of the school, heck the whole neighborhood. If they saw what Zach did to Bryce Zach would have consequences even if he did what was right. Zach would get blamed.

“Please, Zach stop.”

Zach stood up harshly and looked at your face. He looked as if he could almost cry. Bryce laid on the ground moaning and groaning in pain. Blood spilling from his nose and the cut on his lips. His eyes starting to become swollen.

Zach ran to you and hugged you, “I’m so sorry y/n I wasn’t here earlier.”

“No you came just in time. Thank you Zach.”

Clay and many other kids came to see what was all the commotion.

Well you took Jeff’s advice. You led Zach outside to talk to him about the matter.

“I just wanted to say Zach, thank you.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I should of been there by your side, I should of known what would-”

“Zach! Stop! You could not have done anything more than what you did. And even if Bryce would of done that detestable thing I still would like you.”

You quickly place your palm on your mouth. Did you just say that out loud?

“You like me,” Zach questioned.

You sheepishly looked down, then grabbed his much more bigger hand in yours, “yes Zach I do.”

Zach looked at you with an overjoyed expression. He inched closer to you putting his hoodie on your back. He gave you a toothy grin, squeezing your hand a little.

“Hey you maybe wanna go hang out some time? I also need help on studying my history exam.”

You laughed and nodded, “I’d really like that.”

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kenmaiii · 6 years

Text

stop being jealous and bitter!

Now i know you cant outright just throw away your jealousy in the art community. You see a really cool popular artist or just someone with absolutely amzing art and you think “wow holy shit their art is so good i wish that was me and that i could do that....” I understand that spite can be a good thing sometimes; it can be what motivates you to improve and do well, especially if the artist is well... not the best person in terms of personality. Great, that’s even more motivation to do well right!?

But when does all the comparing go too far?

----------------------------------------long post incoming------------------------------------------

Now i’ve had people very close to me do this. I’ve been told that im ‘popular’ which im honestly not seriously. They could probably be reading this right now, but this has been bothering me for awhile so i must get this out there. Let’s step into a certain mindset for a moment:-

You hate your artwork. You hate your current skills. Sure there are artists you like. But then there are ‘THOSE’ ones. You have very specific artists you follow just because theyre so good and popular they make you feel bitter and you still check up on them regularly to fuel that bitterness. You know good and well that they make you bitter and angry and peeved but you just keep going back.

Step back for a moment and think.... why on earth am i fucking doing this???? Comparing and feeling bitter about another persons skill or popularity and letting yourself stay sad and bitter isn’t good for ANYTHING, art aside. It’s good to want to feel validated at the work you spent time on but it WILL get tiring if you keep complaining that ‘your art is bad’, ‘your art isnt good’, ‘its shit’ or ‘garbage’. Your brain is just internalizing that and hindering your work and future improvement. It’s most importantly WASTING YOUR own time, YOU the creator. And not to sound snobby here, i really truly dont intend for that, but some of you know good and well that you keep belitting you work because you only just want people to compliment your art when youre only doing the bare minimum to improve! I can only tell you as a friend or an on-looker that i love your art so many times (as much i really do love it and hope for your improvement) if you continuously decide to still turn around and say you hate your work and tell me im wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why reach for compliments then! Why continuously turn them down?

And i’m not saying you cant ever not like your art (cause it happens) or decline a compliment, but to do it every single time....it leaves a bad image for your work. You either start to believe it, or the person complimenting you will get put off from your negativity!

It makes people feel bad, especially if theyre also artist AND also your friends. You can’t keep saying you prefer their work and still put down your own. It makes your artist friend uncomfortable. They might not know how to respond when you keep doing it. And im sure they wouldnt want you to keep making yourself feel bad. Personally, i wish all my art friends success and improvement, and i want them to love and feel proud of their work more than the times they hate it. We really need to uplift each other as artists.

Thanks.

What you think and say is what you become and if youre always negative and comparing youre gonna tear down both the person you admire and yourself. Ie, if youre constantly thinking ‘ill never be as good as this person’,’no ones ever gonna like my work’, ‘i cant color as well as they do’ or saying that your work is only ever garbage... newsflash asshole! your mind absorbs that negativity and makes you believe it! u fool!!!!! Because brains are stupid and can be your worst enemy at times!

Sometimes you just need to stOP looking at certain peoples work completely if it gets you that bitter or angry or sad. Unfollow them! Block them! Delete their name from your search history if you have to! Stop hurting yourself and forget about them, it’s like trying to think about an ex thats moved on. Pointless.

Negative emotions such as sadness and anger are our brains direct ways at trying to reach out to ourselves.

You: seeing cool art Your mind: remembering you dont have some of those skills or popularity + comparing = sadness/ anger/ bitterness at not being able to be at that lvl withtin the same timeframe or less

Your brain is trying to tell you to fix this! But you know you might not have the tools to gain that much popularity or become so good at anatomy, coloring , compositions or backgrounds overnight, so the only solution for your brain is to self-sabotage.

It’s just the same as suddenly feeling sad for no reason. It’s your mind trying to work out a problem you never resolved. Maybe your friends haven’t replied in awhile and you feel ignored. Or you subconsciously remembered a bad experience without really realizing. You’ll get sad. Your mind is is saying ‘Hey asshole im sad. I know it might be out of your control but I’ll stay sad about this one thing until you resolve it somehow. ’ (whether it be blindly distracting yourself on purpose or fully wallowing in the feelings)

So we realized youre feeling intensely about this persons work vs your own...then what exactly happened there? The answer is pretty simple. Some kind of information processing happened in your brain. The result of this processing made the your mind conclude that one of your existing problems (art in this case) can never be solved; whether conscious or unconscious, and this explains why your mood might change all of a sudden without any kind of warning signs (in relation to what you saw).

Inspired VS Jealousy When youre inspired youre working against yourself in a GOOD way. You’re feeling motivated to make something great! Youre feeling motivated to make something better than the last piece!! And honestly thats wonderful!!! That is a lot nicer than being in art-block, comparison negativity hell.

YOU are the only one responsible for where you are as an artist. That goes towards every artist of every skill level! There’s always someone better than you and there’s always someone worse than you. People get better at art in different intervals depending on how much they take in or put into practicing. Some people just get some concepts and fundamentals a lot easier and quicker than others but that doesn’t mean they naturally had that ability from birth. They put in the work just as you should be doing instead of feeling so intensely negative! But when you’re jealous and negative all the time, that’s when it starts to go downhill. :/

Jealously is a very human emotion at its core. And im not saying its super easy to deal with and just suddenly get over, but there are things you can do to slowly help yourself do it at least a little less.

Here’s the best things you CAN do instead:- - Write down some of the things you find yourself feeling bitter over about, especially when you look at another artists work? Ask yourself why these specific things? If it’s something you yourself can work on in your own pieces then maybe uh do that? - Find the time to practice your work. - Practice even more. - If it’s your style that you arent happy with think of the artstyles you like and set aside time to mimic the way that artist might draw something (hence adding that to YOUR style). Take a sketchbook page or two and just draw entirely in those styles. - Practice. I can’t stress this enough. I know artists say this a lot and it can kind of just be thrown around carelessly, but if you keep putting this off and saying you don’t want to practice or talking about how time is going by when you should be practicing things.... and STILL refuse to practice then???? I cant help you sorry. Time waits for no one, so sometimes you need to grab time by the horns and kick its ass for awhile. Put in that effort! - Please use references. Even better if you use it nearly EVERYTIME you draw something, especially yknow...if its a pose, body part or background that you know you have no idea how to properly express! Find a stock image or a variety of websites to use! Save poses that you like from online magazines, other artists and photographs you see anywhere online. I like to look at online magazines from other countries or photographers, and there are tons of places like pinterest or instagram and whatnot. - Stop comparing and being bitter. Ii cant say this enough it gets me so ticked off, but my stubborn taurus self refuses to fully go off until it all piles up and this post is the result lol. If you know you can’t let go hating on a certain artist (for no good reason) then dont hate-follow them! Don’t check up on their work constantly! Don’t even talk about them!!!!!!! Try to get them out of your head for goodness sakes. Majority of the time they dont even know who YOU are so why are you worried about what they’re up to. - STOP SHITTING ON YOUR OWN WORK. - STOP IT RIGHT NOW. - AS THE ARTIST SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO SAY ‘’hey, my work isn’t exactly where i want it to be at this point in time and it may never be but i can appreciate that i’ve gotten better at a lot of things and im better than where i was a few years/ a year/ a month ago/ even weeks ago.” - ”I’m proud of this piece and can’t wait to get even better.” - Art is a struggle that takes time, effort and a lot of work. There’s always going to be someone better than you and there’s always going to be someone worse than you. You can only strive to get to the level that would make you happiest, otherwise you will get irritated with it and feel absolutely miserable about everything you produce. - PUT IN THE WORK TO GET YOUR ART OUT THERE. Social media has been both a curse and a blessing to artists all around. It’s made it easier for us to share our work around and opened paths for making money online and at home and connecting with other artists, but competition grows everyday as more people post their work in the same market. (ie another reason why it can be hard to get your commissions out there) Also as artists we want that dopamine rush you get from people liking your stuff, i get that its gucci. -But if you aren’t tagging your works well, posting somewhat consistently, not really bothering to talk to people in certain art communities (even people in your fandom because hey potential friends and even partners on future projects), not adding your works to groups (a big problem i see with people on places like deviantart mostly), joining and sharing them in art group chats/aminos/discords, joining events to get yourself out there (such as zines/big bangs/gift exchanges etc), giving tips and advice or even little helpful tutorials to people then how do you expect to be noticed? How. If youre not doing at least TWO of these things then hoW can you complain about not getting attention. :(

Of course you dont have to do ALL of this. Im just saying ...if you arent out there advertising how will more people know about you? This leads to you thinking no one likes your art (skill level excluded because even my cringiest old art would have a few comments or encouragements to see my future improvement, and i still want to hide when people like/comment/reblog said old art to this very day).

I understand mainly OC artists feel this way that no ones gonna like their characters, or it just doesnt get reblogged enough in general but thats understandable too. No one is ‘selling out’ if they only do fanart. No one is ‘snobby or scared to get themselves out there’ if theyre really enthusiastic about their stories and worlds. Otherwise we wouldnt have fandoms int he first place, theyre all someones work. And hell, good for you if you draw both. It really is just a matter of how you put yourself out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’ll take some time but there IS always someone out there that likes your stuff. And sometimes you just have to be content with making work for yourself, work that makes you happy. The online art world is tough especially when youre small but once you fall into the depths of bitterness its hard to rewire your mind...

This is how yall should be looking at your/others work majority of the time: You: seeing cool art Your mind: omg thats beautiful! i wish i could draw and paint like that. i should practice more , try out some poses and anatomy or implement what they do into my work. i wanna make a cool ass piece like this too i feel so pumped to draw and work!!

And that’s that! Do yourself a favor and be happier you bastards! Its tiring being negative and sad all the time and i want tf out of it. Its so very tiring and annoying to be sad and bitter as shit!!!!! My goD

I can’t really think of anything else to add to this and the text may appear angry sometimes as i was very heated when i wrote this but tried to tone it down a lot hfkds. Im not some ‘art guru goddess with supreme skill uwuw’ but advice is advice! It’s always up to the person listening to take it or not.

I’m gonna end this with one of my favorite art quotes of all time from t h e Arin Hanson himself. Because it really is true.

Get yourself out there, practice towards a level that makes you content and try to have more fun with loving your work.

It’s taken me a long while to post this, as i’ve been feeling this way for...at least a couple months??? but i finally put it all out there i just needed to do this lol. Sorry if i mightve repeated info sometimes here and there?

This post is just as much of a call out to my own actions but more so @ those of you that specifically do this!

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haikyuu-imagines-and-others · 6 years

Note

Hi! Can I have a soulmate au with Mattsun and SO where they have matching tattoos, but SO finds out years before Mattsun (they went to the same Middle School) but has been hiding it because Mattsun had a girlfriend? Maybe Makki finds out a little after and agrees not to tell Mattsun, but is worried because SO is so sad and cries a lot? Can it have a fluffy ending too? Thank you soooo much 💙💙💙💙💙

My goodness there are SO many Soulmate AUs out there! I think if you hadn’t provided one… I would have chosen the ‘write on yourself to talk to them AU’ lol that’s a good one… Anyway! Angst almost NEVER has a happy ending lovely… so have this cliffhanger instead! Thanks for requesting, love! - Admin Satori

Matsukawa Issei:

The idea of love always seemed to bring out the oddest or expected answers from each person asked. Everyone had their own idea of love, of affection, of finding their soul mate. Whether the soulmate be with one or many, everyone had a equal and opposite piece, or pieces, of their heart floating about in the large, vast world before them.

You were riveted with the idea of love. The idea of someone being your other half. Of a higher being taking the time out of their busy schedule to create your other half just for you, and you just for them. That’s why you took every chance you could to search your body for any new markings. Soulmates, upon meeting, would be greeted with matching tattoos.

Only, they wouldn’t be in the most conventional places 10% of the time.

Your mother and father shared tattoos, only they were on the back of their necks. Your mother hand’t known about her tattoo for the majority of the time after she’d met your father. Your father had been clueless, as well. Soulmate markings turned out trickier than imagined, and you were equally excited, and nauseous at the idea of coming across your soulmate without realizing it.

Year after year, you’d grow more and more downtrodden as your body remained unmarked. Clean of any dark ink, any ink at all, just nothing at all showing your awaited future. Why hadn’t you met him yet? Had they been avoiding you? Were you unwanted? Were they even in your same country? In the same part of the world?

“I don’t think it’s too much to worry about, ______.” Your close friend, Matsukawa had muttered one day on the way home from middle school. “If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then oh well.”

“We’re too young to think about it now, let’s wait until we’re older!” Hanamaki had piped in before stuffing his face with a cream puff you’d bought him after a lost bet. You couldn’t remember making a bet with him, but he did, and thats really all it took for you to treat him to a cream puff of his choosing.

It took you far longer than you were willing to admit. An embarrassingly amount of time. Almost 2 and a half whole years after that interaction was when you’d come across an oddly placed marking - just out of sight on your waist. Just above where your waist curved into your bottom. A colorful tree. Uprooted, each root having their own individual color that blended into the next. The leaves of the tree seeming to look as if the wind was blowing, some individual leaves flitting to your hip… which had been what had caught your eye.

You’d thought it was a spec of dirt you’d missed while showering, or maybe a newfound beauty mark? Perhaps it was ever something to worry about and talk to your doctor about it’s appearance…. But once you’d gone to inspect it, twisting a little more to be able to see the actual marking, using mirrors for better angles..… you felt your heart jump into your throat.

How long had it been there? How long ago did it appear and how were you just noticing it now? It was about the width of three fingers, only the length of your forefinger… but the placement… it was awkward. Out of sight. Almost out of mind. But the leaves….

The leaves of change were blowing around your body quite literally, and you felt a jolt of electricity shoot through your spine as a sudden realization came over you.

You’d see this tattoo before.

Touched it. Complimented it.

Though it hadn’t been yours to touch, to compliment, at the time…. It’d been Matsukawa’s. Much to his embarrassment, you’d noticed his tattoo and had felt happy that he’d found his soulmate in his girlfriend.

That was almost a year ago.

You did the only thing you could think of… “______, it’s almost midnight…”

“I know… I know… Could you please come over? Please? I need to show you something.”

“And it can’t wait until morning?”

“No.”

A deep sigh before the telltale signs of rustling sheets, clothing being put on, “Okay, I’m on the way then.”

Less than an hour later, you opened your front door to the very tired eyes of Hanamaki, who didn’t looked very pleased to see you. But you barely gave him any time before pulling him in from the cold air and lifting the back of your shirt to show him the tattoo. “I don’t know when I got it…..” Hanamaki’s shoulders relaxed, and he felt a genuine happiness fill his heart at the idea of you and his best friend being soulmates. Together and happy…. But his own brief moment of joy was dashed before his very eyes when he remembered… Matsukawa was a taken man. “I.. I don’t know what to do, Takahiro…. Do… Do I tell him? I don’t want everything to explode in my face and not have him want me… and I just.. I just want him to be happy.”

You were rambling. This was clear. Hanamaki pulled you into a tight hug, resting his head on yours and closing his eyes as your panic slowly passed. He didn’t mind how tight you held him, how you gripped his shirt as if your life depended on it, or even knowing your tears were currently soaking through his shirt. He didn’t mind. You were his friend, and he knew you needed him.

“I’ll tell him.”

“NO!” You almost yelled, pulling back from his embrace to stare up at him intensely. He almost felt dwarfed in your gaze, actually taking a step backward in surprise. “Do not tell him….” Again, your tears welled in your eyes, your right hand going to your tattoo and resting on it, as if you were protecting it from the elements around you. As if it were going to be rubbed off at any moment. “Don’t tell him…”

Hanamaki frowned, confused now why you wouldn’t want to. What was the big deal? “He needs to know, _______. He’s over there wasting his time with Kihoko when he could be with you. Happy and with the right person.” A sudden flash of anger, “Don’t you want him? Don’t you want him to be happy?”

Now it was your turn to take a step back, feeling as if Hanamaki had just shot his words through your heart. You were speechless for a moment.

But he wasn’t done. “All you’ve gone on about is being happy with the one you love… Now you’re given the opportunity. He’s right there in front of you, and all you have to do is show him…. That’s really it. Why are you hesitating now? After all this time?”

“Why are you so angry with me?”

“Because I wanted you!”

The room stilled for a moment, the heaviness of his words seeping into your very muscles, making you feel glued to the floor, but your fight or flight sense pushing you to get out of there as soon as you could.

“All these years…. You’ve talked about soulmates. How great they are. How beautiful it must feel to have one. To know you’re loved unconditionally… You tricked me… Tricked me into loving you…. And try as I might, I can’t get you out of my head… I wanted you to be my soulmate, _______… And every day…. Every single day after meeting you… I’ve looked all over my body for markings. Tattoos. New moles… Anything….” Hanamaki looked away with a dark look in his eye, “But now I know…. You were never mine. There was no chance of that. You’d been marked for Matsukawa as soon as I’d introduced you to him…” A humorless laugh, “And now you’re hesitating.”

The need to comfort, to explain yourself, stilled on your being. Grew stale in your mouth. There was nothing you could do to help his heart heal. Nothing you could say to lessen the bite of reality. You lowered your head in shame, feeling as if you somehow had let him down. As if it had been your choice to fall in love with his best friend. To find your soulmate in the one person he was truly close to. “I’m…. I’m so sorry, Hiro…. I… I didn’t mean to hurt you…” You reached up and wiped at your tears, feeling them almost immediately soaking through the collar of your shirt and instead just using your hands to wipe away the tears.

Warmth enveloped your body, your head being pressed against a solid, reliable, familiar chest. “I… I just want you to be happy, _____…. Whether if it’s with me or not… I want you to find happiness… and love….” But his shoulders fell the more he realized that you truly didn’t belong to him. And you knew his words ripped at his heart. Shredded yours. It fell silent as he held you in his arms, wishing the fates to change, to create a world where the two of you would be together, happy and together… where he had the right to call you his, the blessing to wake up to you beside him, perhaps even hear the pitter patter of the shared life between the two of you.

But not in this life would he experience this.

And if he knew anything about soulmates… it was unlikely his dream would happen in another life.

Suddenly the shrill ring of his cell phone shattered the intense air around the two of you. His grieving, your comforting. You felt his groan of irritation more than saw his furrowed eyebrows, but it was only for a second before he was answering his phone, “What?” You kept your head against his chest, closing your eyes as you felt an emotional exhaustion weigh on your eyes. “I’m at ________’s….. Yeah… Sure.” A tap, then his hand was back on you, his chin resting on your head. “Your soulmate is on the way over.”

Despite his bitter tone, you pulled back in surprise, “W-what? No! Hiro, he can’t kno-“

“His girlfriend found her soulmate earlier today… Dumped his ass in a split second….” The news silenced you, your heart reaching through the darkness, through the distance, to his…. “He needs you right now…” Hanamaki sniffled, and it was that moment that you realized he’d been crying, too. He quickly wiped away his tears before stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. “So…. Don’t let me down… Don’t hesitate another second….” He cleared his throat, feeing it constrict with feeling before he was backing out of your home, “Or I’ll never forgive you! Make him happy, _____…. Be happy… For me.”

You reached out to him, “Takahiro! You don’t have to leave! Come back in! You’re going to get sick!” But he only shook his head before turning on his heel and walking away from you, his shoulders hunched to not only try to shoulder off the cold but the fresh emotion threatening to break him down right then and there. “Hiro…..”

“_______?” A deeper voice called curiously, seeing you on your doorstep in no attire for the cold weather, “You’re going to get sick.” Matsukawa shook his head disapprovingly, but his red puffy eyes didn’t go unnoticed by you. He’d been crying. Everyone was crying. There was no avoidance of pain. Hanamaki getting the worst end of it, it seemed.

“Issei….” You breathed as he shuffled you inside your house, closing the door behind him, not knowing that his best friend had just past through that doorway in tears. If he had known, you wondered… would he still be here in front of you? Or would he have gone after Hanamaki? “Issei.. Are you okay?”

Matsukawa sniffled, reaching up and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before shrugging, “I’m okay…” He sniffled again, and your heart shook at the sound, “Uh… Kihoko… She uh… she found her soulmate today…” Clearing his throat, he gave you a wide smile, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Maybe next time, huh?”

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I lied about the cliffhanger since this isn’t one of them lol just kind of prodding for a part 2 if it is requested :) Don’t hate me, love, this one was getting LONG lol (especially for a singular character)

#admin Satori #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! scenario #Matsukawa Issei #Soulmate AU #angst

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babylon-bitch · 6 years

Text

Just Friends ~ A Differnt Type Of Fear (part 63)

A/N: I merged two chapters together so thats why it is so long lol

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

Harper’s P.O.V.

“Girl, why didn’t you tell us that you could play piano?” Erika questions as we sit in her lounge.

“I don’t know, it was my own thing and it was were I put my emotions for so long.” I shrug.

“Did Luke know?” Calum asks and I look down at the mention of my ex boyfriend.

“No, he didn’t.” I shake my head, playing with the fraying end of the string on my hoodie.

“So no one knows?” Ashton asks.

“There’s a few, my friends back in England know, but that’s it.” I tell him.

“Can you play any other instruments?” Michael questions.

“Uh no, just piano.” I answer.

“And singing.” Maddie adds.

“And singing.” I confirm.

“Have you written originals?” Ashton asks.

“Um the song you heard was an original.” I inform.

“Really?” Calum exclaims.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“How old is it?” Erika asks.

“I legit just finished writing it the other day.” I say.

“It was a very beautiful song by the way.” Maddie compliments.

“Thank you.” I give her a small smile.

“What’s the song about?” Michael raises an eyebrow making me suck in a breath.

“Uh, you can interpret it in many ways but for me personally, it’s about depression and loneliness and having nobody there for you when you need it the most, but you have to go through it by yourself, and you just can’t do it on your own.” I roughly explain.

“Based on any recent feelings?” Calum comments but the doorbell rings as soon as he finishes.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom whilst you forget you asked that.” I mutter with a self deprecating chuckle.

Walking out with Erika but we part ways when we enter the hallway. I head to the bathroom and open the door, letting out a sigh.

Doing my business, I wash my hands, and take my hair out of the pony tail I quickly made as I left my house earlier, running my hand through it and tucking a part behind my ear.

Heading out I hear laughter, which makes me smile because my favourite people being happy is always a good feeling.

Feeling my phone buzz, I pull it out and see I have a text from Juliet.

“Hey.” I say and sit down, everyone saying ‘hey’ back, but one catches me off guard and I instantly look up, connecting eyes with my ex lover.

“Luke.” I awkwardly notice.

“Hi.” He bites his lip, giving me a small wave.

“Guess who was at the door.” Erika says.

I look back down at my phone, but I don’t actually start typing, I just think about how Luke is actually in the same room as me and I attempt to calm my heart down.

All night I was thinking about how Luke is probably a couple doors down from me, and for some reason that made my heart race.

I’m not sure if it was the fact that he was actually physically not far from me, or if it was because he’s caused me so much pain and he’s capable of doing it again.

“How was tour?” Maddie makes conversation.

“So much fun, but in the end we all got so tired and at one point when we were in Vienna, Calum almost fell asleep whilst standing up.” Ashton replies.

“I actually did for like 2 seconds but then woke myself up.” He smiles at the memory.

“How was life here in Australia whilst we were away?” Michael asks.

“Pretty quiet, it was just like when you left.” Maddie shrugs.

“Just now we’re engaged.” Erika squeals.

“How has that been?” Calum questions.

“Not much has changed really, just I look at wedding stuff now.” Erika explains.

“When’s the wedding?” Ashton asks.

They all begin to talk about the wedding/wedding stuff, and my attention goes to the tall boy looking sorry for himself on the other side of the room.

He hasn’t changed much, he’s still got the same bad posture as he used to, the same blue orbs that make time stop when you look into them, and the same personality. Some things have changed though, his hair has changed a little, got these bags under his eyes that seem to of not left in a while, his body language has changed, and although his eyes haven’t changed much, they look more lifeless than usual.

I study his person and take note of the things I’ve missed ever since we’ve been apart, I can remember most of him but there’s little things about how his fingers move when he scratches himself or the way he twists his ankle when it gets a little tight I forgot about, just little habits.

Luke looks over at me, and I meet his eyes, feeling the world stop for a second and my heart race.

“So how has life been for you, Harper?” Maddie interrupts us.

“Uh fine, just tryna get through school.” I tell her.

“Where are you spending Christmas this year?” Michael questions.

“I’m not too sure, we haven’t really talked about it, I imagine probably in England because last time although it was fun, there just wasn’t enough space for everyone and it was all so stressful.” I explain.

“Fair enough, when was the last time we saw each other? Because last Christmas seems like ages ago and that was probably the last time we were all together like we used to.” Erika furrows her eyebrows.

“I saw Cal the last.” I say.

“Yeah, we ran into each other in London.” Calum adds.

“The last time we all saw each other was I guess when Harper was in the hospital.” Ashton concludes.

“Last Christmas was fun, especially when it was actually Christmas day and we all met up and went in the pool.” Michael comments.

Can’t relate.

I look over at Luke and I see him looking down at his lap, most likely thinking the same as me.

It confuses me at how Luke is so sad when he cheated on me, I don’t get it. Sure, losing someone you grew up with isn’t easy to get over, but he caused this, he made the choice of sleeping with someone else. It’s been nearly 11 months, shouldn’t he - the one who put us in this situation - be over me and be happy now?

You might ask ‘well what if he’s not sad about the break up and it’s something else?’ I know because the night we said 'I love you’ at Boulevard View, he was clearly upset, and he still has that look on his face.

Trust me, I’ve known him for 18 years.

“I’m gonna go get a drink.” I mumble and head to the kitchen.

Looking in the fridge and seeing if there’s anything interesting in there. After searching all the shelf, I conclude there’s nothing good but water, so I pull out a bottle of water, and close the fridge.

Opening the bottle and turning around, I place the cap on the marble island, and I’m about to take a sip, when I notice Luke leaning in the doorway, observing me.

“Hey.” I quietly say and take a sip of my drink.

“Hi.” He nods at me and I put the lid back on my bottle.

“You just gonna stand there like a stalker or are you actually gonna talk to me?” I raise an eyebrow, and rest my forearms on the counter.

He chuckles lightly and pushes off the door frame, and walks over to me, mimicking my position.

“How have you been?” Luke questions.

“Uh, what I said out there.” I gesture.

“Okay then, what have you been up to since we saw each other last?” He re-questions.

“Not much, partying and repetitive lectures, typical uni life.” I shrug. “You?” I sigh.

“Performing and a little bit of writing here and there.” He replies and rests his chin on his palm.

I nod and silence creeps over us.

“I heard you’re quite the musician.” Luke mentions.

“Who told you that?” I laugh.

“Well firstly the others did, secondly, I watched the livestream, and you sounded really good.”

“Thanks.” I give him a small smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me you could play piano?” Luke questions.

“I don’t really know, I don’t have a reason, I kinda liked that it was my own secret, it just kinda happened.” I answer.

“Did you want to tell me?” He raises an eyebrow.

“No, and there was nothing restraining me from doing so, I mean, yeah, it would’ve been a bit weird coming out saying I could play piano and I have been for years.” I flatly tell him.

“Can you play anymo-”

“No and let me guess, next you’re gonna ask if I’ve written any more songs, and to answer that, yeah I have.” I cut him off.

“Oh my God you can read my mind.” Luke says.

“Almost like we were best friends for years.” I sigh.

“Were?” Luke asks.

“I mean, we’re best friends that haven’t talked in months.” I sarcastically respond. “You can’t tell me you still think we’re best friends?”

“We’re not?” He chuckles.

“Luke, we haven’t talked for months, and every time we have, it’s been tense.” I tell him.

I almost want to laugh, does this boy seriously think we’re still best friends?

“Do you wanna change that?” Luke questions making me stop whatever I was thinking.

“Uh, I’m not sure.” I answer a little stumped. “Do you want to?” I blurt out.

“I mean, if I can’t have your heart, I’ll take your mind.” Luke states making me look up at him in awe.

“So we’re friends again?” I ask, making my stomach fill with butterflies.

“Only if you want.” He offers.

I put my fist out to see if he still remembers our handshake from years ago.

To my happiness, he does, and it makes us both smile wide.

“I don’t think we ever stopped being friends really.” Luke says.

“I mean…” I trail off.

“We stopped being lovers, but never truly friends.” Luke points out.

“We are strictly friends, you’re not gonna make any moves on me right?” I questions.

“Can’t promise anything.” He smirks and begins to walk away but I gently grab his hand before he can get out of me reach.

“Luke.” I warn making him laugh, ignoring the way his hand fits perfectly in mine.

Luke turns around and puts his hands on my shoulders, bending down slightly to be level with my eyes.

The feeling of his hands on me again, makes my heart go into a frenzy and slight tingels all over my body.

“I promise I won’t make any moves on you, and you can have the right to hit me if I do.” He promises.

“Thanks.” I chuckle and he brings me into a long over due hug.

This could be an absolutely terrible idea and a huge mistake in the long run, but right now, I couldn’t be happier, at least the happiest I’ve been in a long time. That’s all I’m looking for right now, little bursts of happiness.

“This is gonna be so weird.” Luke comments as we pull back, and his hands slide round from my back to my waist.

“Good weird or bad weird?” I ask.

“Just weird.” He shrugs. “I’ve missed you ya know.” Luke tells me.

“In what way because you said I have the right to hit you just now?” I tease.

“Just you yourself, I miss hanging out with you.” Luke honestly says to me.

“Same.” I nod and pull away from him.

“Are we back to normal now?” He questions.

“Depends what you call normal.” I shrug.

“Back to where we used to be.”

“I don’t think we can get back to where we used to for multiple reasons and I’m sure you know one of the main ones. My therapist told me to stop looking at the past because it became so bad I was actually living in the past, and we need to stop comparing things from the past and build a new future.” I answer. “So no, we aren’t, but we can make a new Luke and Harper.”

“I can see that, are we gonna be ignore and not talk about… uh the break up or…” Luke trails off, making me look down at my shoes, biting my lip.

“Are we making a mistake?” I blurt out.

“What with the whole best friend thing?” He questions.

“Yeah.” I nod slightly. “I mean, we were together for nearly a year, we can’t ignore that. Are we gonna get close again but then something happens, it makes an even bigger mess and then we’re gonna hurt so much more than before?”

“Are we only doing this because we miss each other?” Luke asks after some silence. “Romantically.” He specifies.

“Let’s be honest, I think there is some hint of that, but I do actually miss you as a friend.” I tell him.

“Same, so we’re still gonna go through with this?”

“Yeah, unless you don’t want to.”

“I do, I just think it’s gonna be hard going from a couple to friends.” He confesses. “You think?” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Yeah, don’t you think so? Whenever I’m around you I just wanna put my arm round you or something.” He shrugs.

“That’s fair, but weren’t we all touchy feely before we started going out?”

“Yeah but it wasn’t awkward then, and there was a chance of us being together, and now if I touch you it’s weird and there’s no chance of us getting back together.” He explains.

“Just act how you want to act Luke, just don’t make any moves on me, which I know is hard to do.” I attempt to lighten up the mood.

“Sure is.”

***

“Are you doing anything for Halloween?” Luke asks me as we lay on his bed, he’s messing with his guitar, whilst I’m doing some revision.

“Uh, don’t think so, at least nothing apart from sitting around eating the sweets that are ment for the trick or treaters.” I shrug. “You?”

“The same.” He chuckles.

“Wanna join me?” I offer and look up as I finish a paragraph.

“Sure.” He answers.

It’s been a couple days since Luke and I have had our chat, and it’s been going really well. We’re taking everything quite slow, and it’s barely been awkward, just a whole lotta fun. At some points it feels almost wrong because we’re just ignoring everything that’s happened this whole year, and it seems crazy to just forget everything and pretend it’s all okay again.

“Have you got any horror film suggestions?” He asks.

“I want to successfully watch Saw without turning it off half way through.” I confess, making him laugh.

“Yeah, I guess you never did finish that.” Luke smile to himself.

“I’ve got a whole shelf full of DVDs and there’s some horror films in there, so we’ll what’s in there.” I inform.

“Have you ever watched a horror film right through to the end? Because you always start off excited and think you can handle it but always end up hiding away form it all.” Luke laughs.

“Actually my friend Cody is a horror film fanatic so I went over to his and watched The Conjuring right through.” I prove him wrong.

“It’s not even that scary, Harp.” He says.

“Tell that to me at 12 am in the dark.” I glare.

“I will on Halloween.” He teases.

“And don’t make me jump because that’s just mean.” I warn.

“Can’t promise anything.” He tells me.

“Luke I swear to god, I will never talk to you again.” I declare.

“Just be aware when you go round the corner at night.” Luke smirks.

“No, you have to promise me you won’t scare me!” I exclaim.

“Fine I promise I won’t scare you.” He sighs and puts his pinkie out to me, I move towards the end of the bed, and link my pinkie with his. “Too much.” He mutters after.

“Now I’m gonna be on edge all week.” I pout.

“Poor baby.” He coos and squeezes my cheeks with his hand, making me do a small fish face.

He pulls his hand away when I try to bite him, and he gives me a playful glare.

“Kinky.” He winks, making me roll my eyes.

***

“What we watching?” Luke asks and runs his hand down my back, making me swallow thickly.

“Uh, I’m not sure, everything seems too scary.” I chuckle as I look at the shelf.

“How about the Ju On: The Grudge?” He suggests.

“No that’s scary.” I whine.

“You’ve never watched it.” He claims.

“B-but the cover is scary.” I tell him, looking up at him.

“You’ve gotta face your fears.” Luke holds my shoulders and shakes me.

“That’s not fun though.” I tell him.

“Is staying safe and watching a Christmas film you’ve already seen a million times before fun?” He asks.

“Yes, yes it is.” I nod and take Elf off the shelf, going over to the tv.

“I’m not watching Elf for the millionth time with you on Halloween.” Luke sighs, reaching out for my waist, and pulling me back.

“I don’t wanna watch a scary film when I can be filled with happiness rather than fear.” I retort.

“Okay, let’s watch Saw 2.” He huffs.

“It’s still a scary film.” I say.

“Will it help if I protect you?” He questions.

“For the time being but I live on my own, what if the little shit rides his bike into my room?” I ask making him laugh.

“It’s not real.”

“You won’t be saying when a creepy monster comes for you.” I mutter and make my way to the sofa. “Pick a movie and if I call you in the middle of the night, don’t complain.”

Luke laughs and picks a movie and puts it in, before coming over and sitting next to me.

“The Ring, Luke?” I question, looking up at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, you can hide in me if you want.” He offers.

We’re about half way through the film now and it’s so scary, it might not be for some people but for me, I’m terrified.

“Luke I hate you so much for putting this on.” I tell him as a particularly scary scene comes on.

“It’s not that scary.” He claims as I hide in his shoulder, clutching his arm.

“You don’t know shit.” I say and look back at the television – big mistake.

“Harper.” Luke laughs and cups my jaw with his hand.

He looks into my eyes and I look into his, his full of amusement, mine full or fear, but his eyes vanish of that and he seems to of blocked out the movie. I notice his eyes trail down my face, and stare at my lips.

A loud sound on the television causes our attention to go to the screen with a different type of fear.

***

The sound of the alarm on my phone disturbs my peaceful sleep - the best one I’ve had in a while - and it makes me groan in annoyance. I sleepily turn the alarm off and place my phone on the table next to the sofa.

Opening my eyes, I take in my surroundings, popcorn all over the coffee table, Netflix home screen on the tv, still dressed in the clothes I was in last night (I’m lucky they’re comfy clothes), and a familiar arm wrapped around my torso.

One that hasn’t been in this nature in a long time.

Rolling over I bury my head into the boy I now call my friend, and he hums and wraps his arms tighter around me, seemingly unaffected by the obnoxious sound of my alarm.

I let out a sigh of content and begin to doze off again, so I’m in between sleeping and just thinking about random things.

It feels like it had been hours but it was actually just 10 minutes, when Luke’s alarm goes off, making him shift a little. I feel him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, the noise that always makes me shudder halting to a stop.

“Morning, pretty girl.” He mumbles and I hum in response.

Luke digs his hand into my hair and plays around with it, making me smile to myself.

“We’ve gotta get up at some point.” Luke says after some time.

“Shhhh.” I sleepily reply, making him chuckle.

“Come on.” He encourages, lifting my arm up, but I make it go limp. “Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.” Luke hits my my shoulder with my own arm.

“Stop.” I whine and nuzzle further into his shoulder to get away from him.

“Okay, fine.” He complies and drops it, making me jerk backwards.

“Stop.” I giggle.

I let out a huff and roll over, opening my eyes, rubbing some of the sleep out of them. Luke wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer into his chest.

“I thought you wanted us to get up.” I muse.

“I said at some point.” He points out.

“Whatever.” I shrug and pick my phone up, going through my notifications.

A text from Michael, another one from my brother Angus, a flurry of texts from Evie, and a missed call from my mum.

Replying to them to make myself wake up a bit more.

I think half of the film last night I missed because I hid in Luke’s shoulder, whilst he laughed and put his arm around me. I’ve told him before, I hate horror films yet he still makes me watch them. I can guarantee I will not be sleeping for a good couple weeks.

Contrary to that, I had the best night sleep I’ve had in a while.

Although I had to watch some cartoons after I watched the film so I wouldn’t be as scared. Looks like I fell asleep during those and apparently Luke did also.

Sitting up after a little while, and I stretch my arms, making me let out a moan. “Luke, you gotta get up.” I place my hand on his forearm.

“Just let me sleep a little longer.” He tells me.

“No, plus my parents are back in an hour and a half, so I’ve got shit to do.” I inform.

“Fine, god, you’re so annoying.” Luke whines but sits up next to me.

“I forgot how stroppy you are in the morning’s.” I tease and he just glares at me.

“You’re no better.” He accuses.

“Uh rude.” I huff.

“You’ve got sleep in your eye.” He says and reaches up to my eye, and picks it out, wiping it on my shoulder.

“Thanks.” I nod, and stand up. “Do you wanna eat breakfast here?”

“Uh, sure.” He shrugs, following me into the kitchen.

“We’ve got cereal, muffins, toast, or a bagel.” I offer as I look in various cupboards.

Luke goes into the cereal cupboard, and picks one of his choice.

“Don’t even know why I offered anything else.” I shake my head and hand him a spoon.

“You should know me by now,” Luke replies, sitting at the table.

I chuckle lightly and pick out a bagel, putting it under the grill, and I lean against the counter as I wait.

“So what do you do now that tour is finished?” I ask Luke.

“Make the new album, we’re gonna move out to LA in the new year, and we’ll begin to work out there for a while.” He explains.

“Oh cool, how long does that last?” I question.

“Were aiming for a couple months, but anything could happen.” He shrugs. “When do you go back to uni?”

“In a few days.” I sadly state.

“Oh.” Luke quietly replies. “When do you get a break next?”

“Nothing until Christmas.” I sigh, pulling my bagel out of the oven, placing the halves on the chopping board.

“We’ll still talk right?” He asks.

“Yeah, as much as I can.” I nod, putting my spread of choice on my bagel. “But hey, at least I’ve only got one full year left and most of another until I finish.” I attempt to brighten up the mood.

“That’s true.” He nods.

“Wait, I think we’re gonna spend Christmas in England this year, so I won’t be able to come out for Christmas.” I remember.

“You could still fly out for some of your break.” He suggests.

“Yeah that’s true.” I say, taking a bite of my bagel.

“I mean we went months with out seeing each other, I don’t think we’re gonna suffer too much.” Luke points out.

“Good point.” I respond, staring into space as I think about the times we didn’t talk at all after the break up. “How was that for you?” I blurt out.

“What?” He questions.

“Not talking after the break up.” I answer.

“Um, it was hard, really hard. Getting out of the habit of just picking up my phone and giving you a call or sending you a text was really hard. You were always the person I went to when I had a problem or I was feeling a sad or whatever, but when you were the reason, I didn’t have anyone to turn to.”

“Why couldn’t you just go to boys or Erika and Maddie.” I ask.

“They don’t get me like you do.” He shrugs.

I nod at this information, biting my lip as I think over it.

“How did you take it?”

“Uh, um, I found that I was at a loss, I didn’t know who to talk to. I ended up talking to my friend Blake, and he gave me some advice and his experiences. He told me to give myself time to grieve and don’t let it fester too long, but 6 months after that, I was way past the time period I was supposed to be grieving for. There was no one I could talk to about it all, my friends at uni just don’t get me like that, could never talk to my brother’s about it, only have one cousin that’s my age and she’s barely met you so wouldn’t understand it, my aunt Lauren doesn’t live anywhere near me, it’s just weird talking to my parents about it, I wasn’t talking to the boys so it would be awkward, same with Maddie and Erika. There was no one for me to talk to.” I explain.

Luke walks over to me, putting his bowl into the sink, and hooks his finger under my chin, making me look up at him.

“I also think you don’t let enough people in for you to be able to talk to people.” Luke sends a knowing look my way.

“You know I don’t like talking about certain things.” I sigh, moving away from him and going to the fridge.

“What’s one thing you missed about me?” He asks.

“I guess I missed not being able to talk to you about things, from just how my day’s gone to talking about things I’m struggling with right now.” I answer truthfully. “You?”

“I’d probably have to say the same.” Luke nods. “I missed everything being alright and normal whenever we saw each other.” He adds.

“But the times we did see each other, things were said that needed to be said.” I tell him.

Luke nods and leans on the counter opposite me.

“Damn, this makes me sad.” I chuckle lightly.

“Come here.” He gives me a lazy smile and opens his arms up.

Pushing off the counter, I stand between his legs and wrap my arms around his waist, leaning into him.

“Missed this.” He mumbles.

***

“Hey.” I say to everyone as I walk into Maddie’s living room and a chorus of greetings go around the room. I sit next to Erika, placing my bag by my feet, and leaning back.

“You go back in two days right?” Erika asks.

“Yeah, one full day then I leave in the evening the next day.” I explain.

“Do you wanna do anything special before you go?” Maddie questions.

“I’m not sure if I have the time to be honest.” I shrug.

“We could do something tomorrow night, or even tonight if you want.” Erika suggests.

“Like what?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I don’t know go out for dinner or something.” Erika answers.

“We’re not gonna see you for a while, think of it as a send off.” Maddie adds.

“I’ve got some revision to do tonight, then tomorrow I’ve gotta spend time with my family apparently, then the day after that I’ve gotta pack in the morning, then the afternoon I’ve gotta some things out.” I tell them

“All in favour to do something special before Harper goes, raise your hand.” Maddie announces and everyone but Calum raises his hand.

“Two against five.” Erika smirks.

“Why don’t you want to go, Cal?” Maddie asks.

“Uh what?” He questions, looking up from his phone.

“Why didn’t you vote yes?” She asks.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” He laughs and pockets his phone.

“We voted if we do something special before Harper goes back.” She informs.

“Oh, sure, I’m in.” He nods his head.

“All in favour for doing something special before Harper goes home, raise your hand.” Maddie re-announces.

Everyone besides me puts their hand up, leaving me to sigh at my luck.

Luke reaches over and raises my arm for me, making me give him a disapproving look, which he replies with a wink, causing me to roll my eyes.

“Did anyone actually care to think that I don’t want to?” I ask.

“No, so where do you wanna go.” Michael claps his hands.

“If we’re taking you hostage for a couple hours, the least we can do is let you pick.” Luke reasons.

“Fine!” I huff. “Can we go out for dinner at that Italian restaurant we used to always go to?”

“Your choice.” Erika shrugs. “When do you want to go?”

“How about tonight so then tomorrow I can actually do what I wanted to do tonight.” I suggest.

“Deal.” Calum confirms.

“Who’s driving and when do we go?” Ashton questions.

“8?” Maddie suggests.

We all more or less agree that 8 is a suitable time to meet up, and we’re gonna take my car and Ashton’s.

“Babe, didn’t you say you had cake?” Erika asks Maddie.

“Uh yeah.” She nods and everyone gets up and bolts towards the kitchen besides me and Maddie.

“You not getting any cake?” Maddie asks as we hear arguing between Erika and Michael.

“No thanks.” I shake my head.

“So, Luke and you, huh?” She smirks.

“What?” I whip my head in her direction.

“You and Luke, look pretty close.” She tells me.

“You think?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I don’t think, I can see.” Maddie corrects.

“What do you 'see?’” I question, using quotation marks.

“Okay well firstly, you’re actually talking to each other,” She starts, making my roll my eyes. “You’re joking around, and when you came out the kitchen the other day, you both looked pretty giddy, almost as if something happened in there.”

“I can assure you nothing like that happened in there.” I inform.

“What did happen then?” She asks.

“We just decided to be friends again, that’s it, honestly, and we’ve been hanging out ever since then.” I esplain.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Yeah, I did bring that up when we were talking, we agreed that nothing’s gonna come out of this.” I answer.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt again.” She gazes worriedly at me.

“It’s fine, we’re fine, he even game me permission to hit him if he makes a move on me.” I chuckle.

“I’m just saying, he still looks at you the same way he used to and speaks so highly of you, he clearly misses you so be careful.” She warns making me laugh.

“Luke’s not like that, he wouldn’t do that to me.” I shake my head.

“I’m not saying he’s playing you, I’m just saying because you seem to of forgotten everything that’s happened this year, and suddenly you’re best friends again.” She tells me.

“I haven’t forgotten everything that’s happened, it’s just I need Luke right now, and we’ve decided to become friends again.” I explain.

“Be careful, he misses you, and he might be abusing your friendship so he can be your lover again.”

“What did you mean earlier when you said he still looks at me the same?” I raise an eyebrow.

“You don’t see it?” She asks.

“He just looks at me like he normally does.” I shrug.

“Hold on.” She holds a finger up and pulls her phone up. “Here, he looks at you like this.” She says after a minute or two, I take her phone and look at the picture.

It’s a picture from some time last year, I’m laying on someone’s couch that I vaguely recognize as Calum’s, I’ve got a bowl of popcorn resting on my stomach, as I look up at him mid-laugh, whilst he stands a couple feet away from me, with his hands on his hips, looking down at me, a smile on his lips.

“He’s always looked at me like that.” I state as I pass her phone back to her.

“Yeah because he’s always had feelings for you, you can literally see the love coming from his eyes, Harper. He still looks at you like that, and your just friends now, all I’m saying is be careful.” She gets up and squeezes my shoulder, before walking out to go join the others and I’m left to think about what she said.

Is Luke really playing me to get me to be his girlfriend again?

He wouldn’t do that to me.

I sit there with my thumb between my teeth wondering what the possibility of Luke using my friendship.

Looking around the room a little lost, I spot an acoustic guitar next to the sofa I’m on, I pick it up and see if it’s in tune.

No, no it is not.

Music is helps clear my mind, I just think of the lyrics and try to figure out the chords by ear. It’s almost as if the world pauses for a couple minutes and the only thing is me and the music.

I’ve been working on a song recently, it was so hard to get it right, the lyrics never worked with the music very well and it took me ages to get the right words. I didn’t want to just throw some lyrics in there that I’m not happy with, I needed it to be perfect. I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to music, when it comes to other things, I couldn’t care less.

Once the guitar is tuned properly, I begin to toy with the strings and take in a deep breath.

“Man, you really know how to get someone down Everything was fine until you came around I’ve been chasing after dreamers in the clouds After all wasn’t I the one who said To keep your feet on the ground? Man, you really brought me back down

Hold on to hope if you got it Don’t let it go for nobody They say that dreaming is free But I wouldn’t care what it cost me

You got me tied up but I stay close to the window And I talk to myself about the places that I used to go I’m hoping someday maybe I’ll just float away And I’ll forget every cynical thing you say When you gonna hear me out Man, you really bring me down

Hold on to hope if you got it Don’t let it go for nobody They say that dreaming is free But I wouldn’t care what it cost me

Reality will break your heart Survival will not be the hardest part It’s keeping all your hopes alive When all the rest of you has died So let it break your heart

And hold on to hope if you got it Don’t let it go for nobody

Hold on to hope if you got it Don’t let it go for nobody They say that dreaming is free I wouldn’t care what it cost me.”

Biting my lip, I let out a breath and run a hand through my hair.

“Okay well you lied.” A voice interrupts my thoughts.

“What?” I question looking up, seeing everyone stand by the door.

“You said that you couldn’t play any other instruments.” Calum explains.

“Oh, yeah I did.” I nod.

“Why?” Ashton asks and sits down, the rest following his actions.

“I don’t know, it’s just my own thing, I explained it the other day.” I tell them.

“What’s the song about?” Luke asks and I look over at him, looking in his eyes to see if I can see anything.

“I mean if you listened to the lyrics you’d understand.” I start, making him roll his eyes but smile after. “This song is about not losing hope and staying a dreamer, and almost as if I’m talking to my younger self.”

“It’s a really pretty song, Harper.” Erika smiles at me,

“Thanks.” I smile back. “Why do you have a guitar in here?” I ask Maddie.

“I tried to play it when I was 10 but I couldn’t get into it, so I gave it up, but it makes my family look like we have talent.” She answers.

“I tuned it for you, by the way.” I tell her.

“Thats a thing?” She furrows her eyebrows and I facepalm.