"you're weird" thanks i try very hard to mask my undiagnosed autism / adhd, good to know i need to mask better :3

When people say they struggle with keeping track of all the tone tags (the ones like /j or /gen), everyone who disregards that by responding "it's just memorizing some abbreviations/acronyms, it's not that hard, stop complaining" is ableist and a fucking hypocrite. If you're going to advocate for accessibility, advocate for accessibility for all of us.

You can't claim to be an ally to neurodivergent and disabled people and then shit on us for our symptoms. If you actually care about helping us, why aren't you listening when we say we struggle with something? It's never okay to tell disabled people they should be able to do something they can't, that it's not that hard, but it's especially not okay if you do so while pretending to support disabled people.

Also, in addition to the "it's not that hard" statement being ableist, it's utter bullshit. There are so many tone tags to keep track of and memorize. I did a quick google search and one of my top results had ninety one tone tags. That's a lot. That's probably a lot even for a neurotypical person, and I'm not a neurotypical person. I struggle to remember a lot of basic, necessary tasks, so I really can't memorize ninety one tone tags.

Especially when some of them are incredibly ambiguous- only one letter? Acronyms or abbreviations at least give you some clues, one letter tone tags are so incredibly confusing. Like, what does /t mean? There are a lot of words that start with T! (This is a rhetorical question. I know /t means "teasing," but I only know the answer because figuring that out was a memorably frustrating experience.)

And /t is just one example of a tone tag I learned because I kept seeing it in conversation and not understanding and being really confused and frustrated. I can't tell you the number of times I've been messaging someone on discord, and they say something with a tone tag I don't recognize, and I just open a new tab to google the meaning, which is where I find lists like the one above. I usually rely on google instead of asking the person what they meant, because I feel stupid and embarrassed for not knowing this code that everyone else seemingly gets.

Which is exactly how it feels when I don't understand someone's tone in real life! Confused and frustrated and ashamed. And tone tags were supposed to help neurodivergent and disabled people not feel that way, so I don't know how we reached a point where they cause those feelings in many of us.

I can't deny that tone tags are a useful accessibility tool for some. If you find them helpful, it's genuinely good that you have that resource. But they're not accessible for all of us. It's incorrect to act like tone tags are a perfect way to communicate, and it's ableist to disregard our struggles with them and tell us to just try harder.

Either listen to those of us who say they have trouble understanding tone tags, or stop pretending you actually give a shit about accessibility.

Trollex dating an Deaf S/O

- He noticed you cause you where so close to the speakers in one o the raves and touching it - he just stared at you while hyping up everybody and noticed how you would look up at all the other Techno trolls in awe while you hopped abit and moved side to side with the beat you get from the vibrations - Loved your face when he made the beat drop louder cause it made you more hyped and grinned - You are able to lip read fluently so it's easy to understand what people are asking you sometimes yet it's also sometimes difficult - Though not MOST deaf people can lip read just an little fun fact from your author who's uncle is deaf - you two had your first ever chat after the 3rd rave - Well he talked to you and you just nodded shook your head or just did sign language which he connected the dots quickly - would rush over to you whenever he can somehow, he could read your thoughts and what you want to say but can't at all but try to explain in sign language. - He didn't understand sign language so he just focused on when you're looking at something or someone in a certain way, how your eyebrows furrow. how you squint your eyes, the way your lips curve up or downwards with something he likes and dislikes. - he will sulk at the person and then explain it to them, turning his head at you to know if he was right. - Which he was sometimes it was an 50/50 really depending if he got it right or wrong then remembers your deaf... So he mentally smacked himself in the face - THEN AND THERE! When he wanted to speak to you he wanted to know sign language so you could understand - You fell for him when one of your friends signed to you about how he stood up for you - Found out about his feelings when he saw you vibing to HIS Techno Remix - You fell first HE FELL HARDER - King Trollex WILL beat the shit out of anyone who he sees being ableist towards you like deadass would throw hands and be pissed - Asked some of more high tech trolls (The Funk trolls CAUSE SPACE SHIP!) to make you hearing aids whenever you wanted to wear them - King Quincy and Queen essence cooed at the scene when Trollex gave it for you on your birthday - Trollex cares for you extremely deeply. He tries his best to understand how it feels to be deaf - He makes sure your next to him in the DJ booth so he knows your beside him safe and also so you can be near the speakers to touch the vibrations and feel the beat - Secretly learned sign language from other deaf trolls for you and planned to show you on your anniversary - You caught him doing sign language in secret a couple days before your anniversary and kept it an secret - You tried so hard not to kiss him hard then and there and when it was finally your anniversary you where shaking on your spot excitedly - YOU SWAM SO FAST TOWARDS HIS ASS - Tackled him into an hug grinning and laughing peppering his face with kisses - he's kiss drunk on the spot holding you close and giggling like an idiot - he wanted his knights to learn sign language and gave them the task of following you around - The knights most of the time are translating for those who can't understand you when you use sign language when Trollex can't when he's on his duties - Other then that he would be by your side making sure your safe and are alright

- Blushes and has to explains why he does it

- other trolls cry and tear up at how sweet it was

- You being deaf is not really a problem for him he doesn't mind at all

- he doesn't mind at all explain directly to you what others are saying or explaining it to you the situation

- he always take a moment to explain what happen if you need it

- The first time he did ask you directly if you need him to explain...

- Bliss face palmed in sync with Laguna while Synth gave an thumbs up as they stared at their king who froze realizing what he just did

- You stared at him with absolute confusion. After you've been together for a while he learnt how to identify whenever you need help so he just turn to look at you to know

- You two have an loving relationship and it's so cute that people in techno reef laugh at how cute you two were

- King Trollex WILL beat the shit out of anyone who he sees being ableist towards you like deadass would throw hands and be pissed

- Asked some of more of the high tech trolls (The Funk trolls CAUSE SPACE SHIP!) to make you hearing aids whenever you wanted to wear them

- King Quincy and Queen essence cooed at the scene when Trollex gave it for you on your birthday

- Trollex cares for you extremely deeply. He tries his best to understand how it feels to be deaf

- He makes sure your next to him in the DJ booth so he knows your beside him safe and also so you can be near the speakers to touch the vibrations and feel the beat

- Secretly learned sign language from other deaf trolls for you and planned to show you on your anniversary

- You caught him doing sign language in secret a couple days before your anniversary and kept it an secret

- You tried so hard not to kiss him hard then and there and when it was finally your anniversary you where shaking on your spot excitedly

- YOU SWAM SO FAST TOWARDS HIS ASS

- Tackled him into an hug grinning and laughing peppering his face with kisses

- he's kiss drunk on the spot holding you close and giggling like an idiot

- he wanted his knights to learn sign language and gave them the task of following you around

- The knights most of the time are translating for those who can't understand you when you use sign language when Trollex can't when he's on his duties

- Other then that he would be by your side making sure your safe and are alright

- When he speaks he forgets that he's doing sign language while speaking whenever your near and people point it out

- Blushes and has to explains why he does it

- other trolls cry and tear up at how sweet it was

- You being deaf is not really a problem for him he doesn't mind at all

- he doesn't mind at all explain directly to you what others are saying or explaining it to you the situation

- he always take a moment to explain what happen if you need it

- The first time he did ask you directly if you need him to explain...

- Bliss face palmed in sync with Laguna while Synth gave an thumbs up as they stared at their king who froze realizing what he just did

- You stared at him with absolute confusion. After you've been together for a while he learnt how to identify whenever you need help so he just turn to look at you to know

- You two have an loving relationship and it's so cute that people in techno reef laugh at how cute you two were

Hi, I've been reading accidental reversal and I really like your 'what if' scenarios with tenma and the gang, and I've had a fic idea I've been considering for a while that I'd appreciate your input on

I've really gotten attached to the idea of a Deaf Tenma, making the decision not to go to a Deaf School (The only Deaf school in Japan that I can find is Meisei Gakuen, which is located in tokyo, which is extremely close to if not the same city where Raimon is) so that he can play for the soccer team that inspired him, only to find the whole fifth sector mess going on.

naturally, he starts the whole revolution, because hes putting the quality of his education on the line to play for raimon, and he isn't about to let that sacrifice for nothing.

tsurugi notices straight away, and when he goes home he immediately starts learning JSL, because first of all he is Not ableist (for obvious reasons), and second is because if he's going to be monologuing at this kid, he's going to make sure he can be understood (he ends up being to go to interpreter when aoi/shinsuke isn't there)

shunsuke asks aoi to teach him and they bond

endou is surprisingly good at JSL when he picks it up (good with his hands + has a very expressive face), kidou, not so much (obscured face, not very expressive anyways)

due to the tension among the team in the first few games, it takes a good chunk of raimon an embarrassingly long time to realize that he isn't just wearing earbuds, and that he doesn't just have an odd accent, and that him looking directly at peoples mouths isn't just a quirk (shindou/kirino/sangoku being like 'How did you not realize? it's so obvious, we've just been learning independently')

also because I've noticed a trend in the show that these kids sure do like to monologue on the soccer field, and I think it's funny if they keep getting interrupted by a kid that just, does not seem to care (its difficult to lip read from a distance, they won't always be facing him, and it seems like a bad idea to wear hearing aids while playing a sport where kids can whip up fire tornadoes, because the average cost of a pair of hearing aids is approximately $4000, or ¥592,560)

anyways it's just an idea I've been considering

Whoa, I love that idea? It sounds so great! I’m a huge fan of rewriting the old story with just enough of a spin to give it a new flavor, and this one’s super interesting. Kinda reminds me of an idea I had at some point in which Tenma is mute and uses sign language. Also lmao Tenma pulling the revolution because ‘’I did NOT sacrifice my education just to get stuck with this crap’’ sounds like such a Tenma move, ngl.

Also yes, Raimon is located in Inazuma Town which is somewhere in Tokyo, it’s on the wiki if you want to check it out!

Okay so I’m not sure what exactly you wanted my input on, so I’m just gonna ramble! Feel free to send me another ask or comment if you wanted something more specific. Anyway, some things that immediately come to mind when I think about this:

1) One of the reasons Tsurugi takes his JSL lessons so seriously could be because Tenma reminds him of his brother. It’s not the same situation but in a way they’re both dealing with disabilities and Tsurugi has seen firsthand how hard it can be for Yuuichi, so he’s a bit softer towards Tenma because of that.

2) Depending on how much of a little shit you want Tenma to be: imagine him turning off his hearing aids at comedic moments, like when someone starts gushing about Fifth Sector’s goals. Tenma just nope’s straight out of that one. Or, although this might be a bit later when he’s more comfortable with the team, him turning off his hearing aids when someone starts scolding him. Absolute power move. They don’t even need to know he does it, maybe someone eventually finds out, cue comedic moment.

3) Since you mentioned accents… Tenma’s from Okinawa and as far as I could find, Okinawans have at least a bit of an accent. Deaf people are also known to learn how to speak by copying the lip movements of the people around them… so if Tenma grew up on Okinawa, it could be assumed he’s grown up speaking Okinawan Japanese and has the accent to match. I imagine non-deaf Tenma would have worked out most of his accent after he moved to Okinawa town so as to not stand out, but deaf Tenma would have had a harder time doing so/might not have even realized he had an accent in the first place. (There is a difference between Okinawan Japanese, which is a Japanese dialect, and the Okinawan language, which is a whole other language altogether and only a few people speak it (mostly the elderly) because it stems from a period before Okinawa was Japanese territory, so if you make use of this idea, maybe look into that a bit. It’s a bit of a complicated situation but I think it could really add something to the characters). This does depend a little on whether Tenma was born deaf or not, I think (that would also influence his lip reading/sign language skills - was he born deaf or has he only been deaf for a few years?)

4) Find subtle ways to mention it throughout the story instead of using full paragraphs. I like comparing it to writing someone who wears glasses. Small details are glasses getting fogged up when going from the outside cold into a warm room, or when drinking tea. Smudges on glasses that annoy the character. Pushing them up when they slip down their nose. These are all small, subtle actions that add a lot to the story and ‘remind’ readers of this detail without putting too much focus on it - you could try and do the same thing with Tenma’s deafness: lip reading is really difficult so Tenma might misunderstand or ask for clarification, or little habits he has (like you mentioned, watching people’s mouths rather than their eyes).

Anyway, I’d definitely recommend doing research on writing deaf characters because it’s very easy to accidentally make a mistake and come off as disrespectful. I’ve read a story or two in which there was so much focus on a character being deaf that it seemed to be their only character trait, and not only does that take away from the story, but it’s also not a good representation. Being deaf is not a defining character trait; it’s just part of their character, like wearing glasses or having asthma. An important thing that should be acknowledged but not constantly mentioned/made to be the center of their life and character.

Some questions that immediately popped into my head:

1. Was Tenma born deaf or did he lose his hearing?

2. Does he shout or say the name of hissatsu techniques? Would he even bother with that?

3. In fact would he even bother trying to learn the names of hissatsu techniques (since they can be super weird + it’s during a match and he’s not wearing hearing aids, so these both make it hard to lip read) and instead just come up with names for them himself? Imagine him referring to Sangoku’s Fence of Gaia as ‘’the rock thing’’ or Kami no Takuto as ‘’Shindou-senpai’s lightshow’’.

4. Does the entire team learn sign language (and how good are they at it), or does Tenma speak and lip read more with certain members of the team and use sign language with others?

Of course the amount of detail you put into it all depends on how long you want the story to be! I hope this is sort of what you wanted, and again, feel free to ask something else if this isn’t what you hoped for.

And in case you decide to write the story, best of luck!

accepting aspd and npd traits instead of clinging to the ideal of a "good person" and clinging desperately to my hyperempathy made me way happier.

I let myself have my empathy gaps and times where I can't empathize at all. I let myself be more apathetic and straight forward. It actually allows me to communicate my emotions and trauma without having a meltdown and hurting myself or having a psychotic episode and lashing out and screaming.

Letting myself be narcissistic allowed me to ask for reassurance and attention, ask for praise, and act out how I felt without feeling the need to hate myself for it.

I could tell my friend "I know this is a sad thing for you, but I really don't care and I can't tell if this is okay or if I should try to give you comfort. Can you please tell me what you need so I may give it to you?" "I know you just lost your pet, but I feel absolutely nothing right now because I can't handle loss and I'll probably feel the emotions in a few days. So I'm sorry if I come off like I don't give a shit."

And then she said "it's okay, I understand. I just don't know how to feel or who to go to. Can I just have some comfort?"

Oh my god, it is so easy when you don't demonize your already stigmatized traits. I clung so hard to being a good person just to still be called bad and treated as a monster. Now I don't give a shit cause I know me, I know my experiences, and I am seeing so much healthy communication between me and my gf and me and MA. Every day our relationships get so much better. It's almost like stigma hurts traumatized individuals, gasp!

Yeah there's negative parts to my disorders, but I try to focus on the positive points otherwise I'm at risk for harm and we have to protect our body from harm. I'm so incredibly unstable and dissociated all the time. My narcissism lets me feel worth it and on top of the world. My antisocialness lets me no longer rely on people in a toxic dependent way and to also find the courage to stand up for myself instead of constantly trying to people please. I've had these traits so hidden within me cause of the expectation of a good person placed on me and because of them being "evil" disorders.

But fuck, man. I finally started being better when I realized they weren't evil disorders and I wasn't bad for having them. And seeing shit that you're constantly abusive and evil and can't feel love fucking hurts. I struggle to connect with people, my love is shown so differently, but that's okay.

So yeah, ableists, you can learn something or you can shut up and leave. We love antisocial folks and narcissistic folks around here. We rule! ^v^

This is specifically about NPD/ASPD, but any PD disorder, you're loved to especially if you fall into the category that doesn't fit the bullshit expectations of a "good person" or "good neurodivergent." You deserve some fucking love and you're welcome here.

@brandon666

First off, you have some *really* inaccurate ideas of what ASPD is. Do you think we can survive in the world acting like you expect me to act? Far more often, pwASPD appear detached and callous rather than actively hostile the way you're saying. We aren't 12 year old kids on Xbox Live voice chat, * s p o o k y voice* we are all around you. You wouldn't be able to pick most of us out of a crowd, even if you had direct interaction with us. In fact, a running joke here and in my real life is that people often tell pwASPD "don't worry, I can sniff out a s*ciop*th a mile away" or similar not realizing they're talking shit about us to our face.

There *are* pwASPD who are still entirely valid who act the way you're saying - and also plenty of prosocials who behave like that too. But it isn't all of us, all the time. Most of us are capable of and maybe even prefer to be cool, calm, and calculated about how we speak and act because of the trauma we have.

Unlike people on TV like Dr. House, there are real life consequences to the behavior you describe, and many of us strive not to be happy, but for life to be as convenient as possible. Kinda hard to get convenience while you're pissing everyone off. Ever heard the part of ASPD where they mention we are manipulative and charismatic? Yeah that isn't exactly compatible with being crass, careless, pranking, or offensive. Careless actually specifically bothers me because we are often said to "play a social chess game" with people we talk to. Many of us are extremely calculating and overly cautious. And many of us aren't, but it certainly isn't like you're saying all the time. Even pwASPD who *do* act like that usually are calm and "respectful" sometimes.

Also, I never claimed to be unmasked on this blog. Most of the time, I am absolutely masking to some degree - although much less than IRL. You can actually see that in the tags, I use "a rare unmasked aspd-culture" as a joke about this fact. Whilst this is a safe place for other pwASPD to unmask if they'd like, my posts on this blog are different. My side of this is helping educate people - prosocial, antisocial, whoever - if/when they have questions for me about ASPD which is fairly frequent. This isn't to say I am not ok with unmasking here, like I said it's happened before, but consider the context of what's happening.

I'm often asked genuine questions about ASPD, some of which are ableist (almost always on accident!) and many of which are based on extremely common misconceptions. If I were to unmask while answering those, I would end up being really shitty to people who are trying to learn - often people who want to do better for the pwASPD in their life, or for themselves. We talk about coping mechanisms and the development of ASPD a lot here; with those topics there is little room for my unmasked behavior *and* education. If I were to unmask while answering, no one would be getting anything out of asking those questions even if I was providing info because it's hard to take in new information from someone when they're being defensive or hostile.

I don't want to be hostile towards them, I want to help because if ASPD is ever going to be destigmatized, someone has got to answer their questions and help show them what it is and what it isn't! We can't expect prosocials to fend for themselves in the cesspool of stigma that the typical google results on ASPD show - someone has to help them. And since one of my special interests (something autistic ppl like myself have and love to infodump about) is mental health, especially my own disorders, I am happy to be one of the people they can ask these sometimes tough questions to.

I am also helping pwASPD! Many questions I get are people trying to understand their own disorder or the disorder they think they might have. It sucked for me, learning this all on my own (and I'm still learning too), so I can use the cognitive empathy I've taught myself over the years and remember the feelings I went through when I was trying to find unbiased info.

There's a transaction here - a major part of ASPD if you didn't know - I calmly and respectfully answer people's questions, and the world becomes slightly less ignorant and we get a slight amount of progress on destigmatizing this disorder. That makes my life easier too. In the process, I see many culture asks that remind me I'm not alone in this. Often, posting those gives me some catharsis, and you will sometimes see me going off in the tags about what I've dealt with. But for the most part, I'm giving other pwASPD an open space to unmask as well as to ask questions to someone who will, 95% of the time, give a masked and respectful answer. Friendly is a stretch tho lol unless you missed the original post about the syscourse that you commented this on.

So yeah, long and short, you're definitely missing something here and that's ok. Just learn and do better. I know you might see that as another thing that is flying in the face of ASPD or whatever, but it's no skin off my back if you think I have ASPD or not, and anyway I'd rather you just learn and maybe next time someone says something like that to/around you about ASPD, you'll have the knowledge to correct it. Spreading info is an exponential situation - once I tell you guys things, some of you will inevitably tell someone else that, and so on and so forth until a good handful of people now know things about ASPD they didn't before. If not, oh well. I got to infodump and see relatable posts that made me feel seen.

Either way, it's been, and hopefully will continue to be, a net positive. You are absolutely welcome to keep this dialogue going if you have questions, want clarification, are enraged that I gave you a calm response, whichever. Even if you don't get anything out of this, someone else seeing it might.

I'll really fuck with you now - I genuinely hope you have a good day.

Okay I did it Here are my notes for the tandem read:

Tandem Read

Empire of Storms:

Manon’s crown helmet sounds really cool

These mother fuckers don’t wanna recognize her as queen!?!? She literally can and will protect you from EVERYTHING. I hate men lol

No they cannot kill Asterin. It’s too early in the book I can’t take that

The way she burned that soldier from the inside out with just one little blow of breath was so cool

Omg Manon attacking her grandma!!!

I cannot belief Rowan told Gavriel about Aedion like that!!!! There were much more sensitive ways he coulda said that shit

So Aedion meeting his dad went well😂 “I didn’t expect to say any of that” lol Aedion and Aelin are really the same person huh

Okay Manon and Dorian is way hotter than Aelin and Rowan I don’t even care. Fight me.

Also I feel like if Aedion and Lysandra got more attention they could’ve been *chefs kiss but we get Elide and Lorcan instead. Don’t get me wrong there okay but I think would’ve preferred more focus on Aedion and Lysandra….

Okay I lied about that^

The liken?? Crazy! Aelins power goes stupid hard! I love how SJM describes her power and how she burrows down into it!!

Ansel is back and remind me why we trust her. She’s a known traitor…..

Excuse me??? Dorian or Aelin have to give their life!?!? No. NO!!!! IF SJM KILLS DORIAN!!!!!!!!!

THAT FUCKING BITCH MAEVE!! THEYRE MATES!! I knew it! I didn’t know how but I knew it! This also only gives me more hope for Azriel and Elaine in ACOTAR.

They’re married 😭😭

Tower of Dawn:

So Chaol is acting a little ableist and I low key hopes he learns to be a warrior from a wheelchair. I don’t see that happening but…..

So he’s gonna walk but what are the dynamics here I’m confused

The healer from the womb being found dead in the library is low key scary. I’m glad I didn’t read that at night hahaha

I stand by my statement from the last book that I don’t like Chaol and Nesryn together. They don’t spark anything in me but Nesry and Sartaq, Chaol and Yrene?? Now that intrigues me.

The acolytes gushing over Chaol, CUUUUUTEEE!!!

Him telling Yrene, ‘I didn’t want you to show them’ made me tear up

Ooooooo laying in that bed with her made his toes curl, me too Chaol

Damn Nesryns note was kinda cold. Her and Sartaq are kinda cute though. And like it do be an adventure lol

Chaol and Yrene one a date 🥹🫠

I don’t care about Nesryn lol. Hope she gets the bird people to fight in the war but 🥱

CHAOL IS WALKING my heart is soaring!! I loved everything about that. Yrene tugging him into a corner to make out! Yes!!!! She better get some dick on her birthday! That better be Chaols gift

Okay so the locket was precious but the birthday sex was better hahaha

When is Yrene gone meet Aelin!?!?

Omg SARTAQ!!! I fucking hate spiders wtf

MAEVE IS QUEEN OF THE VALG!?!? WHATTTTT???

Does Rowan know?? How could he not?

Yrene said “I thought the sex was good before but now that he’s fully healed !!!!” Good for you sis

It’s wife right. Her place is his wife. I stg

So while all his friends are facing war and death, Chaols falling in love and getting sloppy toppy lol good for him

Duva is the valg??? Didn’t see that coming

NOOOO CHAOLS BACK! My man got to walk fully healed for like a day! He only ran once

Aww him and Yrene are bonded like Rhys and Feyre!

Sartaq!!!! Omg Nesryn and Sartaq! That was so hot “never from you” 🫠

Chaol and Yrene are married 😭LADY WESTFALL 10/10

Unpopular opinion: tower of Dawn might be my favorite book in the series lol

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

NHS hospitals refused intensive care treatment to disabled people with COVID "« Do Not Resuscitate » notices were placed on the medical files of many people with Down’s syndrome, autism & other learning disabilities who were otherwise healthy before contracting the virus" "Six out of 10 people who died from Covid between March and July 2020 were disabled, according to the ONS" inews co uk/news/politics/thousands-of-disabled-people-died-after-covid-treatment-withheld-inquiry-to-probe-2970333

Now, someone who is physically disabled/immunocompromized please chime in so that there is a full picture, I can only talk from my perspective of a mentally ill autistic but (mostly, if you count the rather extreme side effects of my psych medication) able bodied person.

Its just so horrific, and I hate how mainstream media refuses to talk about it, or treats this as something necessary.

Yes, I get it, triage and hard decisions and stuff... but this is still pure eugenics and should be called out as such. Its not even that a neurodivergent person is inherently more likely to have complications or die from Covid, which still would be fucking disgusting and ableist and eugenics but at least somewhat, for the lack of better words, and I hate using this word, understandable. Not justified, but understandable in a disturbing way.

I am not surprised at all that this happened, and I am not surprised at all that NHS now, as families against their expectations rally against them, deleted at least some of the documents from the internet. This rethoric that disabled people are disposable and do not deserve saving/medical intervention was already there before the pandemic. The pandemic just highlighted it in a utterly horrific way.

I think that was what fucked me up the most about the pandemic. Not the lockdowns, the lack of structure, the fear, the uncertainty. But not just having this vague hint my abled neurotypical family denied that I am disposable, that I am not seen as worth living, but the absolute certainty that at least for these kind of doctors, I am.

Abled neurotypicals will never understand what that does to a person. Just how painful that is.

It also found that there were “serious concerns that individuals’ human rights – to be involved in DNACPR decisions about themselves or their families – were potentially being breached in more than 500 cases across the adult social care services”, which would have been a breach of the Equality Act.

No shit Sherlock. But that hits the mark. We're not human for these kind of people. Yes, it is an extreme situation, but it still showed that.

I remember some exchange rather at the beginning of the pandemic, somewhen in the first lockdown, that really messed me up. I was posting about this exact situation, and how painful it was to me as a disabled person, and some person claiming to being an essential worker attacked me that I don't understand the kind of hard choices doctors have to make and that I am selfish and disgusting for complaining about it.

So disabled people wanting to live is selfish. Denying them necessary medical care is just the logical extreme of this.

It also reminds me at the darkest part of Germanys history. "Nicht lebenswertes Leben" ("live unworthy of life") being applied to disabled people so that they could either be denied medical care or outright killed. Of course there wasn't the same intention behind this, but definitely the same kind of reasoning.

Haven't heard about this kind of policies being used here in Germany, but I wouldn't be surprised at all. If anyone knows more information of how this was handled in other countries, please comment.

Now, I bet there will be some abled neurotypicals lecturing me of how I just don't understand triage and how dire the situation was, and how selfish I am, but honestly, I am tired.

And mind you, I am "just" mentally ill and autistic, I don't even have any condition that makes a Covid infection more risky. There's been so many posts about how utterly society failed immunocompromized and chronically ill people during the pandemic and still fails them today. What they suffered is not even comparable to me. So yeah, please add your perspective if the latter describes you.

-Mod Tallys

i mentioned it in some tags fucking forever ago and I posted about it on twitter but might as well post it here too

"I can't be ableist, I'm [x]" has done so much damage to mentally ill and disabled spaces and or threatens to do so. and unchecked internalized ableism and unchecked ableism as a whole.

i am someone with unsavoury symptoms and conditions. There's no beating the bush about this one. My symptoms are considered ugly and there have been times where I've met people who have been all like, "Support people with unsavory symptoms" but when I actually started hanging out with them they ended up being more ableist than anyone I've ever met.

I have memory issues. On some days I forget things quite literally as they happen to me. There's no guarantee I'd remember what you've said to me. It doesn't mean I don't care, I literally sometimes forget what I was doing three minutes ago. no, I'm not making an excuse, I literally forgot that you were bothered by, say, bugs and it was not intentional. Now I will most likely remember but please don't be bothered if moving forward I ask you to clarify what you're bothered by.

I have issues with my emotions. I struggle to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling. PLEASE ask me to elaborate on things before jumping at me and accusing me of twisting things around or whatever, or inviting conflict, or a thousand other "UM ACTUALLY--"s. And please, PLEASE don't assume things, ASK ME THINGS. Let me speak.

I have issues with anxiety. I often distance myself from 90% of discord servers and even my own friends (even if they don't notice it) because I am deeply terrified that they secretly don't like me or they're seconds from snapping, or they find me annoying, or about a thousand fucking other things that there are times where I feel deeply, deeply ill. It's not that I don't like you; it's that I'm actively struggling with myself and putting forth a lot of effort to make things work on my end.

I have PTSD. That PTSD on top of the anxiety manifests in my fear of old terrible cycles repeating even if they're out of my control. This makes pretty much everything else mentioned way worse. Everything is a CONSTANT WAR within myself. I'm a perfectionist and I feel like even if it's not my fault I convince myself that I did something wrong and I rationalize things that way. There's also the bipolar and the BPD.

I am medicated and learning how to manage these things. But we need to accept that these symptoms are ugly, that while I'm doing my part, I and others like me still deserve grace and tenderness and we do NOT need our own community and/or communities who claim to have the exact same issues treating us like shit, spitting on us, or being in general hypocritical towards us in claiming that they support us but then do everything that seems to state the obvious.

it really is your own people sometimes. and it shouldn't have to be.

and whenever i try and say things like this I have people telling me I'm "DODGING RESPONSIBILITY," no I'm not, you cannot assume such things of me when you're only seeing me talking about a very real issue that I and many others face.

Stop reblogging and posting about how much you love and support "unsavoury" symptoms and conditions but then turn around and treat those very same people like absolute shit.

And don't get me started on how autistics like to treat other autistics just because their autism happens to be different.

I'm sorta fuzzy so it's super hard to really articulate or parse together what I'm trying to say properly but I hope what I'm trying to say comes across. Ableism within disabled and mentally ill communities fucking suck. Learn to actually care about and support people with symptoms and conditions you can't romanticize.

do you tell people irl you have aspd?

Hahahaha. No.

Listen. Most people don't know what the fuck ASPD is. But they do know what a sociopath is—or at least have their own idea of what one is, an idea which is practically always incorrect.

So me having to tell someone I have ASPD has always gone "Hey, I want you to know something about me. We're good mates and I figure you got a right to know. I have ASPD." And they always ask what ASPD is. "Antisocial personality disorder." And if I leave it at that I get dropped, cause people always look it up when they get home and I get dropped for lying by omission and not calling myself a sociopath and thinking I could "get away with hiding what it really is" or something. And if I do explain cuz they don't know what ASPD is, it goes "Aka sociopathy. I'm a sociopath." And then I usually get dropped cuz Things Start Making Sense and people have seen too many horror movies.

Or, y'know, I get fired from a job I really enjoyed cuz they consider me a liability. Cheers, M*lbourne.

So I just. I don't fucken tell people. I've got comorbidities and most of my ASPD symptoms/traits I can brush off on those conditions as traits of them. I have low empathy cuz I'm autistic. I'm aggressive because I have trauma and haven't learnt how to cope with it. I'm impulsive cuz of ADHD, I use aliases because of my job, I'm hypersexual because of the CSA I experienced, I do crime cuz I like money and I'm fucken gay, I don't know. I don't tell people about the conduct disorder I had as a kid preceding my trauma, or that I've used aliases long before I started my job, or that I was medicated for my ADHD and certain traits just never changed regardless of how high the dose was until we puzzled out it was because they just weren't the result of ADHD at all.

(Like run-on sentences. Unfortunately that's just how I talk. What's a semicolon?)

So yeah, I just. Don't fucken tell people. I was diagnosed in early February of 2019 at 18 years old as ASPD nomadic subtype with secondary paranoid traits (there's assumed to be a convergent type between malevolent and nomadic but I don't know the name of it and it's not a confirmed subtype, but there's suspicion that's my ACTUAL subtype if it's real), found out I'm also a psychopath when I went to a therapist in M*lbourne a few weeks, and I just. Don't fucking tell people.

My dad knows. Mum knows. My biological brothers don't, but my adoptive brother does. I've confided in mates from high school and I guess 2 years ain't shit cuz they'd all ghosted me after. I told my ex after we'd been dating 4 months and got an earbashing and she very briefly dumped me for a week to "figure things out". And I didn't talk to her a week, and there's nothing quite like desperately wanting to tell someone you're sorry and not being able to because you know you can be really intense sometimes and there's no way for you to approach someone to apologise without them being afraid. And that's hard—she knew about every symptom I had. It wasn't new. But you slap the label of sociopath on it, and now when she looks at you there's a fear in her eyes what wasn't there before. And she wasn't afraid before, when she thought it was just anxiety or autism or OCD or trauma. But "sociopath" is a scary word.

So no, I don't tell people. I let them get to know me first and learn that despite how weird or creepy or unsettling I can come off as, I'm actually harmless. And then if I feel I can trust them to not be ableist about it or turn on a dime and assume the worst of me—and only then—maybe I'll sit them down and be honest.

If you’re not familiar with the musical “Ride The Cyclone” and it’s current script situation with one of its main characters, this post is not for you! Thank you!

So I understand the “Ride the Cyclone” Fandom is really upset, including me ESPECIALLY and we all have a right to be, but I think at the same time, we all need to realize these four things regarding the “Ricky Potts script change” situation: Keep in mind I am NOT disabled so I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I do want to share important things that I think most of the fandom needs to acknowledge:

Despite the change being an unnecessary piss poor decision and a HUGE downgrade compared to what the script was like before, we need to acknowledge that Ricky STILL has a disability. He may not have the same one he had before, but being mute from trauma is in fact a disability. I say this because everyone keeps saying he’s no longer disabled and that’s just not true. Again, it was still a bad change but his disability wasn’t completely erased like everyone keeps saying.

Disability representation in theater and casting more actors with said disability’s is something that NEEDS to be spoken up about, but harassing the creators and actors are NOT the way to do it. If you’re just telling the crew to off themselves and painting them as one note monsters, that is not getting anyone anywhere, and not helping.

Speaking of portraying people as one note, some of y’all honestly need to stop painting Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond (the writers of the original script) as irredeemable monsters. Again, this issue in theater is something that desperately NEEDS to be spoken up about, and voices need to be heard, but as much as I hate to say it, we really DON’T know all the details on why the script was changed. We don’t know what was going through the writers heads, we DON’T know the full story, so seeing everyone say the writers changed it simply because they were ableist and nothing else are just jumping to conclusions way too early. Regardless if you think they’re truly ableist or not, regardless if you’ve lost all respect for them, these writers are still PEOPLE at the end of the day, and people make mistakes. There is always room to grow, there is always room to learn and improve. We need to actually speak up and inform them that this change was not a good one, instead of just screaming at them, sending threats and calling them ableist pieces of shit, something that I’ve seen SO many people do and it’s an issue. It’s hard to actually IMPROVE yourself when everyone is just calling you bad names and not seeing you as a layered person.

At this point of making this post, people really need to stop arguing with Kholby Wardwell (actor for Noel Gruber) on twitter. I don’t care if you like him, I don’t care if you don’t like him……STOP….arguing with him. I shouldn’t say everyone is, but there are a few, and there’s no point guys, stop harassing him. He’s made it clear on how he feels about all of this, and its obvious at this point, nobody can change his mind on his viewpoints. People also need to stop calling him ableist as well, because if you’ve read his twitter thread, you can tell he never had malicious intent. Of course I’m not excusing some of the way he worded or said things, but again, these issues for the RTC crew as a whole need to stop being viewed with a one note lens. While it’s not hard to say “theater needs to hire more disabled actors and make it accessible for them”- it’s ALSO not hard to NOT see everything as black and white, mainly the motivations behind the writers and actors. These are all things that need to coexist within the fandom, and people also need to stop pressuring the others to speak on this subject. Again, when you speak up about an important subject matter like this, doing it with aggression is not the way to go.

With all of that said, this script change has heavily disappointed me, even hurt me. I personally thought it was perfectly okay for Ricky to be a kid who got a degenerate disease at 6 years old and lost his ability to walk and talk, but somehow the writers felt the need to change it. It was unnecessary in my opinion, because I felt like the script wasn’t really the issue, it was casting able bodied actors as disabled characters, and getting rid of Ricky’s crutches five minutes into the show. That, as well as treating his disability as a joke, mainly the comments by Ocean. These were all criticisms the show has gotten over the years, so it hurts to see that what we got was the writers idea of “improving” that. Instead of “improving” it however, it felt more like they erased the issue so they wouldn’t get controversy and could avoid the problem, without putting in the effort. HOWEVER, despite that I don’t truly feel like that was the writers intentions. For now, I’ll give the writers the benefit of the doubt, because I do believe that they truly felt like they were helping and encouraging the disabled community, even if the outcome didn’t turn up that way. Again, we STILL don’t know the full story, so I sincerely hope Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond come out with an official statement soon giving us the full insight to why they did what they did, since the new script has gotten so much backlash. It’s clear this change has done more harm than good, and with respect, I hope the writers can be educated and more open minded to why their idea wasn’t the best at all. I have always praised the writing of this musical, I haven’t been in the fandom that long but it has become one of my current favorite musicals of all time, and Ricky Potts has always been a character I adored, and he deserves SO much better. For all of this to happen because of one huge fuckup, hurts. At the end of the day, we all want the same thing. We all want disabled people to be treated like human beings, with respect, and have more accessibility, not just in theater, but EVERYWHERE. We all have a right to be mad, we all have a right to speak up, and I just hope that as a society we all can educate one another without it being taken too far. I sincerely wish the fandom, the writers, everyone, can bounce back from all of this, and society improves as a whole when it comes to the disabled. I will still continue to enjoy Ride the Cyclone, and watch it over and over because no script change can get in the way of my enjoyment of the show. With that said, things NEED to change, and I especially hope the Mccarter Theater gets the consequences to their horrendous action of illegally firing it’s only disabled actor. With that said, feel free to say your thoughts, feel free to disagree, I just needed to get this all out. Thank you for reading.

I’ve been watching Twinkling Watermelon with my mom and we only have two episodes left. It is definitely going on the list to rewatch with Alexis bc she’s hard of hearing, so this one is probably gonna hit her in the feels extra hard. I was not thrilled the ‘dad’s bestie’ back in the 90’s was the baddie from Duty After School. I know it’s just acting, but lord did that show fuck with my psyche. Other than that I’ve really enjoyed the show.

Ryeo Un has a lovely smile and voice, it’s hard not to root for his character. And I liked Choi Hyun Wook from Twenty Five Twenty One with my dude Nam Joo Hyuk. For real tho, it’s been so nice having a show that surrounds accepting disability so much. Yes Cheong Ah’s step mom was an ableist piece of shit. But do you know how refreshing it was to see a group of teens learning sign language so their deaf friend wouldn’t feel left out? Can we please have more shows like this where the disabled people are accepted into a friend group super easily instead of being ostracized? Yes Cheong Ah started off that way, but it was so nice see the transition of more and more people accepting her. I thought it was also sweet that one of the other guys admitted to liking her too. It was so nice having another show with a disabled romantic lead. 🥹

What if the MHA universe had awareness months, but for like quirks?

Flammable quirk safety month

The commission makes Endeavor do public service videos but they’re extremely boring and only the basic common sense stuff so rarely does anyone learn anything from it, they all end with some propaganda encouraging them to become a hero.

Shoto and DynaMight take over once they’re high enough in the ranks, they’re generally more engaging, informative, and just all around take the job more seriously.

Across Japan rates of arson rises by 3%

Mutant awareness month

Highly controversial, people trying to cure it rather than learn how treat them like humans, their biggest advocacy group focuses mostly on how hard the lives of the people who have to live/work with mutants is

They try to make a point of look at how many heroes are mutants!

Now there’s asinine accusations that mutants get special treatment to become hero’s just because they’re mutants and they get ranked higher for woke points and they’re not actually capable but also apparently mutants are doing so well that clearly non-mutants shouldn’t have to make accommodations for them

Quirkless awareness month

There’s like a single flyer for it posted in the waiting room of some office but it’s a few years old so all the stats are out dated, only quirkless people give a shit and they’re made fun of for caring

Deku try’s really hard to bring awareness to it and get funding into the cause but people keep telling him there’s no point because quirkless people are basically extinct(which isn’t true)

Villain readiness month

Unnecessarily problematic, some of the campaigns are genuinely helpful and are trying to create change but the rest are all weirdly ableist, classist, and mutant-phobic because they’re being based solely on stereotypes.

Villainism is a cultural problem not a mental health one and mutants aren’t more likely to be villains because of their mutations but because of systemic reasons, but no one wants to talk about that. Easier to just blame the poor and forgotten

“Your quirk slowly killing you” awareness month

The government is actually putting a lot of time and money into this to try and solve it but it’s falling on deaf ears, everyone knows but only the hypochondriacs care the rest are making memes about it 💀

Sentient quirk awareness month

Mini conventions everywhere that are supposed to be teaching people how be respectful because people either treat them like they’re not real beings or try and interact with them with out the quirk havers consent but instead they’re just treated like show n tell pets.

Jet-Black Hero: Tsukuyomi is controversial in these spaces because while Tokoyami cares and is informed af, Dark Shadow just wants pets

I just wanna rant for a bit about how ableist the rhetoric around learning languages can be, especially as it relates to american colleges

so as part of my degree, I'm required to take two semesters of an upper level language. issue is, I'm hard of hearing and my college does not offer any type of sign language as an option

obviously trying to learn an AUDIO BASED language as a person who literally can't hear is a fucking challenge. and yeah sure, they have exemptions but I'm "not disabled enough" to qualify

first of all, that's fucking bullshit. a policy that I'm sure was written by abled ppl determining that I'm not disabled enough?? to be exempt from something made really fucking hard due to my disability?? bullshit

when I was a kid I literally had one of those speech language pathologists to help me speak ENGLISH correctly. I used to mispronounce words all the damn time cuz I wasn't hearing what it actually sounded like. certain syllables just aren't picked up by my brain so words like "computer" would get butchered into "come-cue-ter." getting hearing aids in addition to learning from the language lady I had helped with this problem a lot. I don't rly struggle with it anymore now that I'm older.

now that I'm learning Spanish, however, I'm having the exact same problems I had as a baby. this makes sense if you consider that I'm basically a one year old in Spanish knowledge. but in college, I don't get a speech language pathologist to help me understand pronunciations and syllables. and my hearing aids have been fucked up and are too expensive for me to afford replacing them rn. and in college I have to worry about grades and passing the class and shit. I've literally had actual breakdowns crying and sobbing over how much I'm struggling in the classes due to something I literally cannot control

so yes, the second I'm done with this semester, I will be giving up on learning Spanish and any audio based language. it's just really fucking exhausting to hear all the jokes about pathetic monolingual Americans who only know one language.

some thoughts on disability in fanfiction

I have so many thoughts about the common “trope” within the stranger things fandom to give specifically Steve a disability in fanfiction. A lot of my thoughts on this are mixed in with my own complicated feelings about becoming (physically) disabled over the past few years. Which is why i have a hard time writing about it objectively or maybe even fairly. Because some of it brings up a lot of negative emotions regarding ableism I’ve personally experienced. And I’m also still unpacking a lot of internalized ableism so maybe I’m not (yet) able to critique some of this stuff properly. And obviously a lot of these stories are written by people who deal with these (or any) disabilities themselves as a way to explore the topic. I love those! I think writing is such an excellent way of exploring your own feelings. So any of my critisisms aren’t about people using (fan)fiction to write about their own experiences. I’ve read some absolutely incredible works about this topic!!

A lot of these pieces of fanfic featuring Steve with a disability (you typically see either being HOH, having epilepsy or migraines) tend to fall within the larger hurt/comfort trope. And that makes sense, I guess. I also understand the need/desire for disabled people to read or write stories about characters being comforted through the struggles of disability. But I find that often these stories, especially when written by able bodied people, can fall into some harmful tropes.

The main issue that comes up for me is the romanticization of taking away bodily autonomy of the disabled person. The character, most often Steve in this case, is written as struggling with a disability and having a hard time coming to terms with this and then another character “forces” them to get better or accept help and by doing so takes away their agency in the situation. I don’t care if it’s “”the right thing to do”” or “”he really needed someone to help him”” if you’re taking away someone’s autonomy in a situation that’s kinda fucked up. (there’s some nuance there in cases of severe mental health issues where someone might hurt themselves, but even there autonomy is incredibly important and I’m largely talking about physical disability here). This also includes a lack of autonomy in who gets to know about a characters disability and how they find out. Disabled people aren’t owed anyone info about their health and people learning about it against someone’s will can be very upsetting. Another prominent trope is using disability as a way to explore self-sacrificial elements of Steve’s character. It’s the ‘he always cares for other people first and forgets to care for himself’-thing that is often explored with his character. Writers will turn this character trait on its head by ‘giving’ Steve a disability and thus forcing him to reckon with needing and being deserving of care. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that as an idea. I think many people who become disabled struggle with asking for help and feelings of guilt surrounding this. Which is what makes this a difficult concept to critique. I have a hard time puting into words exactly what rubs me the wrong way about this. But let me just say there is definitely a difference between attempts at exploring disability and turning disabled people into poor little babies who can’t do anything for themselves and oh isn’t that just so sad? Especially when a story lacks correct information about what a disabled person would or would not be able to do themselves. There’s also so much infantilization going on in those cases.

And there’s obviously disabled people with (very) high support needs, but pity and infantilization is never an appropriate reaction. Also! Plenty of disabled people have worked through that shit and are (no longer or were never) constantly feeling guilty about needing care! It’s a logical emotion to go through in our ableist society, but I feel like we could do with more representation of disabled people who don’t feel like horrible burdens just for existing. I say this because people irl are sometimes genuinely confused when I don’t feel bad or guilty or embarrased about asking for accomodation. There’s almost an expectation that we’re supposed to feel bad about requiring assistance and that’s pretty fucked up. I don’t want to give specific examples because I can’t think of any of the top of my head, but also because I’m not writing this to call anyone out. I feel like this fandom has correctly noticed that Steve’s had one too many hits to the head and I think the desire to explore this as a community could be a very positive thing. We should just be mindful of the actual lived experiences of disabled people and use this as an opportunity to educate ourselves about disability and ableism. Not just use it as a way to project fantasies about being cared for onto disabled people. I think that’s what sometimes can go wrong here. Able bodied people might project their desires about being doted on and cared for (VERY valid desires!) onto these characters. But disabled people have different needs and wants regarding being cared for! You often cannot copy your own desire to have a break from your insanely busy life (again, valid desire) and have someone take over for you for a little while onto disabled people without accidentaly perpetuating ableist ideas. You might also run into trouble when you project your own desire to be helpful and needed onto characters who take care of a disabled person. This can be a bit more of a gray area (imo) because caring for loved ones is obviously a great thing. I just think it’s important to keep in mind whether the focus is on wanting to be the person who helps someone and actually helping a disabled person according to their own wishes and standards. These are some very rambly thoughts, but I hope they can prompt some people to have a look at their own ways of reading and writing about disabled people. I think an absolutely necessary first step is to consider whether you are taking bodily autonomy into account, but there are many more nuances into properly writing about disabled people. There’s also always just the option of... not writing about disability if it’s not something you fully understand. Sometimes the latter might be the best route to take.

I’d loved to hear some thoughts from other disabled people!