@remunporium sent: " Heyyy Mizuki. " Sirin's tone comes off as slightly apologetic. She still feels a little bad for striking... something in Mizuki's heart before. She still wasn't sure what it was, but as no stranger to someone who's been hurt herself, she recognizes when she treads onto thin ice. " Are you feeling any better today? I got you something I thought would help.. " Whether or not she felt guilt for it, she still felt like it was her duty as a friend to get her something nice. What is that something? Adorabbit merch of course. One of the newer (softer) plushies that've come out recently! Thanks to some money from Otose, she was able to easily pay for it. " It's one of the newer ones. Got first dibs on the newest release, they sold out super fast! " Sometimes, being unable to sleep comes in clutch. Early bird specials are where it's at.

"Oh hey." It takes a moment for Mizuki to remember why Sirin is acting apologetic as she is again. The park. The tickets. She'd tried to push it away yet again and forget about it, but Sirin hadn't forgotten how she reacted. Went out and got her an Adorabbit plush as apology.

All of this just feels patronizing, after a certain point. Like Mizuki was someone who needs to be placated every time someone accidentally missteps or misspeaks around her. It's better than how things were with her mother, but it's not what she thought to expect from her friends. After all, even if she had been mad... was Sirin thinking the way to get forgiveness was just buy her stuff?

"Thanks..."

...don't get mad. You're just being grumpy. And it's because Mizuki knows she need to tell Sirin. And that means remembering it again. How your life was ripped away from you and how lost you are with finding a way to step forward and up.

"Y'know, it's not like you need to keep doing stuff like this, Sirin. Tickets and plushies and... card packs and all those other things. It's not like you knew that inviting me out there would make me sad, the stuff about the... park. I mean it's like. Something I should have told you already, but I didn't because ... just not a fun thing to talk about."

Tumultuous, layered, shades of grey over a painting so eclectic you'd wonder how it all fits inside the mind of a 12 year old girl. Not something anyone deserves, let alone a child. The loss and the abuse. At the least, right now, petting the new plush is enough to settle her down. Really soft.

"I told you my parents died, but not really... how. I can't. Tell you everything because of stuff with the police." Government secrets were government secrets. "Um. Yeah. But. My mom... she... was murdered. And uhm. The body was left at an old amusement park for me to find it was on the merry go round and-" She's doing a good job in keeping herself collected, but the tempo of her speech keeps jumping as the thoughts spill over like a sloshing pitcher of water.

"-and her eye was gone and they'd s-stabbed an ice pick and its just- whenever I think about parks I think about that it was so horrible and and, even if she was mean nobody... she didn't deserve that..."

A long staggering exhale punctuates the endpoint of her ramble. "And now you know." Even if Saito was dead and gone, he'd done a great job in wreaking the havoc on Date's life and those around him, just as he set out to do. It's so unfair. And so selfish. And now she was supposed to find a way to be happy about it in the aftermath.

Mizuki hugs her, the adorabbit plush now squeezed tight against her chest.

"We can go somewhere else together, I think I'd like that. Like. Get some food. And talk about the tournament or something."

random Kurara Thoughts Time™️ again because i love overanalyzing NPCs

Personality-wise, she's great at putting on a cute face and a cheerful disposition in front of a crowd. She's like the "straight man" to Urara's "funny man" in their duo, and they play off of each other really well. She's a well-known local celebrity who is especially adored by children-- the kids in Urara's diabolo class were disappointed when they learned that Kurara wasn't gonna be there too.

Out of the public eye, however, she's temperamental and self-loathing, prone to mood swings and lashing out. She beats herself up for not being "good enough" every time she can't match Urara's talent (a side of her that Urara was completely unaware of), hating how much she feels like she's always going to be "Not-Urara" in the eyes of their fans.

Where she has to train like crazy to get the hang of new tricks, Urara learns very fast by example, quickly mastering the same moves just by copying what she sees. Kurara... can't do that. Everyone praises Urara for being a "prodigy" because of how skilled she is and how quickly she picks up new moves, but Kurara doesn't get that same treatment. Sure, she's a hard worker, but she's not "special" like Urara, nor does she have the same type of sunny personality that lights up the room. These perceived shortcomings do not mix well with what a perfectionist Kurara is.

Urara doesn't even register how hard Kurara has to fight to keep up with her, and she doesn't seem to be aware of just how lucky she is to have a knack for the diabolo, either. She's also totally oblivious to Kurara's struggles, routinely failing to take it seriously when Kurara starts to get sad or annoyed. One of her Challenge quest lines in Ashen Revolution was "I like Kurara, but she's always kinda cold.", so it sounds like Urara figured Kurara was just Like That™️ and didn't put much thought into it. Even though Kurara knows that Urara isn't absentminded on purpose, it still pisses her off anyway.

... Not that she ever said anything about it to Urara until it was too late. Unfortunately, Kurara's pride is both her biggest strength and her greatest flaw. It gives her a theatric, flashy personality that's perfect for drawing the affection of her fans, but it also cripples her ability to let herself show any sort of weakness. Asking for help would be like admitting defeat; she doesn't know how to express her feelings when she's sad or worried.

Kurara very much reads to me as a young girl who's fighting to keep her head above water in the cutthroat, fast-paced entertainment industry. She's not a prodigy; she's a normal junior high student. If it weren't for the fact that she had Urara's coattails to cling to, Kurara says she never would've even been allowed to enter some of the contests she's won. Tickets for their shows sold like crazy because of Urara's reputation-- which Kurara appreciated, but it also served to highlight the difference between the way the world sees someone who was "born talented" versus someone who's just "a hard worker".

On that note, how strongly competitive Kurara is, coupled with the insane amount of pressure she puts on herself, gives me the impression that her home life is... not great. It's unfortunately common for young girls to get involved in showbiz because it's what their parents want, regardless of the effects on the girls' mental health. We don't know anything about Kurara's family yet, but I would not be surprised if they're responsible for her horrible inferiority complex by trying to push her into being their perfect little star.

It's not like she isn't aware of how awful her true nature is, either-- in Urara's MSS, she calls herself a piece of trash for getting mad at Urara for saving her life. She feels guilty that even though she's such an unlovable person, Urara has never stopped loving her anyway. The idea that Urara considers her "irreplaceable", or sees the two of them as "best friends", is laughable to her. (Partly because Urara's obliviousness drives her crazy; possibly also because she doesn't know what Urara sees in her in the first place. Kurara really seems to have the mindset of "If I'm not the best, I'm nothing at all".)

The reason why Kurara became the leader of Yukuni's eradication faction is because she thinks that magical girls only bring curses in the end, so she wants them gone. Honestly, though, I can't help but suspect that this turn of events is at least partially the culmination of all of her anger and self-loathing.

Leading a faction for a "good cause" lets her take charge and accomplish something when she's felt like a worthless second fiddle for so long... And it gives her a way to try to drive a wedge further between herself and Urara.

When Urara became a magical girl, Kurara snapped at her for it, saying "I'm so glad that you're part of that scum, because I've always hated you.". I think it's more complicated than simple "hate", though. Kurara was willing to give Urara closure on their relationship in Urara's MSS, and apologized (in a way) for what she said in Ashen Revolution. Urara's cluelessness may get on her nerves, but going by the flashback where Kurara tells Urara that she makes her smile, she probably also thought it could be kinda cute.

And... She admires Urara so much that it's killing her to stay together. Shortly before they go their separate ways in Urara's MSS, she says:

Kurara: "But I can't do this anymore. As long as I'm with you, I'll be reminded of how ugly my own heart is."

Urara: "..."

Kurara: "Breaking up the duo was a good start, regardless of whether or not you became a magical girl, huh?"

That's so... man. She does care!!! She probably even loves Urara the same as Urara loves her!! She loves Urara so much that it makes her hate herself even more-- for being so bitterly jealous towards her best friend, for her mess of a personality, and for resenting the girl who loves her more than anything.

I've gotta say that Kurara's last line here gives me the impression that she was mostly using the magical girl thing as an "out". By pinning the blame on an external source, she can avoid having to think about her own feelings. It gives her an excuse to tear her relationship with Urara apart-- something that Kurara feels undeserving of.

Obviously none of this excuses Kurara's actions, but... I honestly feel pretty bad for her??? Poor girl is an absolute wreck under the surface. She has SO many deep-rooted problems. If she'd let herself open up more to seek out support, I'm sure that she and Urara could reconcile, and I bet that a happier, more confident Kurara would be even more successful than she currently is. Instead, she's being strangled to death by her own pride.

... Kurara is a really good NPC.

Dear Taylor ( @taylorswift )

I'm gunna be honest I just created tumblr so I can connect with you and fellow swifties lol

I know this is kind of tacky but just to get a like or reply would make me so happy! You know, just for you to know that I exist, and for you to know how much you've helped me in life.

See, Ive listened to you since I was 15 years old. I will be 30 years old, this year. You (besides eminem lol) were the only artisit that I've followed my whole life. Your music touch my heart and guided my soul. I dont know where I would be if it wasnt for your music. You helped me through so much, I could have given up so many times but you showed me how strong you were in the hardest times and that gave me strength. You showed me it's okay to be in love with the idea of love. That you can be a strong person but yet feel so much emotion.

I'm from a town in Corner Brook, Newfoundland, CANADA. I moved back here a few years ago from Toronto, Ontario cause I missed home. Newfoundland (and Labardor) is just a little island in the Atlantic. I moved to Ontario when I was 19 and was there for quite a few years. I'll never forget when I heard you where gunna be Toronto, for your RED stadium tour, so I busted my butt to save up for a ticket. See, I come from a home of welfare and I could never afford a CD let alone a ticket. Your CD's were always a gift from my Grandparents (dads parents) cause my mom didnt have any money and well I didnt know my father, as he took off when me and my twin was small. But as I got older I matured and understood why and how hard it was for my mom. She wasnt the best mother but she did what she could. Fast forward, back to when I turned 19, I decide to finally leave the small island and move to Toronto, I needed out of my small town. I wanted to see the big city and it explore it. I wasnt fully alone at first cause I had my boyfriend (at the time) from my hometown, who was also up there so I thought i would be fine!

I believe I was 20 or 21 when I heard you were coming to Toronto for your RED tour. So as i mentioned i busted my butt for a ticket, worked so many hours to save up enough money. Being in my early 20s and trying to work to pay rent was hard especially with the big bills poping up but I did manage to save enough. Nevertheless, your first concert sold out instantly and I was devastated but then something great happend, you opened a second show and I got a ticket to your 2nd show and it was section 110 of the Roger's center! I remember I was going through a horrible break up the person from my hometown who I kind of flew to Toronto for (who also lived in toronto) had dump me and I founded he cheated me a bunch of time... so now I felt really alone, all alone in this big city. I had no one. It was me and only me, no family.. no one. So when I got the ticket and was on the way to your concert via the train, i could remember just crying cause I couldnt believe I was gunna see you in concert finally! Little did I know how amazing of an experince it was gunna be....

So here I was enjoying the show so much, maybe had a drink or two lol Then a stage hand came to our section and said, for the next few songs, we are going to open the gate and you all can go up to the second stage. I couldnt believe it! I cried so much, so many happy tears lol When I tell you it happened so fast it really did.. the gates open up it was like a stampede haha we all booked it, it was too funny. I would have made to the first row near the stage but I lost my flat and had to run back and get it lol My friends back home told me i should of left it and i was like I know haha but either way i was the third row from the stage and it was so awesome. You were right there. I can remember all the people around me where screaming and crying. You were just finished i believe singing "22" and you started singing either "I Almost Do" or "Last Time" and here I was just a little blonde haired girl with your Tshirt over my white lace dress, holding my hand to my chest (my heart) looking at you.. you were so beautiful it was like a dream... you were right there. I never screamed or balled; I just sang along to the words and a few tears fell. That's when you looked at me or at least I thought you did, and you smiled. As I mentioned I wasnt screaming or crying.. I was just lost in the words of your song, singing along. My friends still laugh to this day and go yeah sure tiffany she was looking at you. I'm like I swear she was I swear lol of course I dont say you remember that as you have so many fans. I was just blessed to see you in concert. And athouglth I wish I could have, I never did get to meet you in person, and as positive of person I am, I dont think I will ever get too. As mentioned I live in Newfoundland and I dont say you'll ever come here. I work as a fulltime bartender and dont get much time off, also you know with the cost of living it just gets so high.. idk if I could get another ticket but if you ever returned to Canada I would try.

My life is very different from yours, and people are surprised I listen to tour music because of the lifestyle I live.. but people dont understand although we live different lives, we have matching hearts. Im a nomad and I live in my car in the spring, summer and fall. After the winter Im looking to go back to live in my car fulltime, once again to be one with nature. I do have a dream of living off the grid and I know I will get there one da! Nevertheless what makes me sad is the one of my other dreams is to meet you, and why it makes sad is because there hasn't been anyone who has helped support me in 15 years without knowing me like you do. and I dont believe I'll ever get to see you again. I hope one day you will read this and you'd just acknowledge this post and just you let me know you know that I'm out here and that I'm a true fan. My dreams of being one with nature and making life more simple is just around the corner and I cannot wait to be at peace in my off grid home, after everything I've been through. I hope you can make my other dream come true and just reach out to me. I may not be active on social media as I'm not really into it but please know I've supported you in many other ways! Please know, no matter what I always will buy your cds, share your music and defend you to any haters who may cross my path. I love you Taylor. I have great friends in my life; I wish I could I could add you to that list lol You are such a beautiful soul taylor and deserve nothing but the best in life.

Take care of yourself and NEVER stop being your beautiful self. The world needs more people like you.

Love, Tiffany

@taylornation will you please reach out to taylor for me xox

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

A black butler headcanon if you may: Sebastian, Claude and William with a yokai s/o (one type or different is fine). S/o is a escaped from being sold to an auction and then bumped into them and thus start a new life with them.

[A/N: So sorry! But I decided to remove Claude mainly because I've never watched the anime (only read the manga) and thus, do not have a very good grasp of his character. Hope that's okay with you!]

Black Butler - Kitsune!Reader Headcanons  (Sebastian + William) 

Sebastian

It was a mistake honestly, you really don't know how in the world you came from Japan all the way to a whole other country where people spoke a language you didn't understand

Not only was it disorienting, you accidentally transformed in a crowd which led you to almost being auctioned off to a bunch of very interested buyers

"A shape-shifting fox beast!" you were called. It didn't help that you weren't very good with controlling your powers in your panicked state

Somehow, one way or another, you managed to escape the hands of the auctioner with a simple illusion trick, which disappeared in less than 10 seconds leading up to a frantic chase through the auction building;

It was where you met him, Sebastian Michaelis, as he called himself

He said he was just like you, a demon

He offered his help, whereas you, in your very frazzled and anxious state, hastily agreed

Really...in hindsight, you should have known better

For a kitsune, a creature known for their trickery, you sure didn't notice the tricks the demon had up his sleeve

To him, you were fascinating;

It's not everyday he runs into a demon(?) from another country. He's heard rumours about demons from the East who are referred to as Yōkai, or sometimes, Ayakashi. He just didn't think he'd run into one so soon

It starts off as simple fascination. It was unfortunate, but although he promised he would help you out of your pitiful situation, he never did say he was going to help you get back to where you're from

That simple fascination then slowly grew into a much darker desire the more time he spent with you. As the days passed by, he found himself delaying the purchase of your ticket back home.

After all, you seemed to enjoy it here. Why leave?

He hated to admit it, but it always soured his mood whenever you would talk of hoping to return home to Japan. 

And so, he began to research ways to keep you here, bind you to him.

You had talked about contracts with gods and diviners, and that you hoped to serve a benevolent master as a familiar.

Well, he surely couldn’t have you falling into someone else’s arms. He was no god or diviner, but a demon. A very powerful one too.

He may not be able to directly create a contract with you, but there were always other ways. 

Oh poor little runaway fox, it seems you have fallen into the hunter’s trap, and he’s never letting you go

William

You always did have a penchant for getting yourself in trouble; 

It just so happened, this time your mischief carried you thousands of miles away to another country

Were you scared? A little. But that didn’t stop you from exploring this new land and causing a little mischief.

And again, your trickery and pranks got you in trouble. At this point, you were used to it. Humans were the same everywhere you went after all. You were sure you could escape this as you always did.

However, you failed to account for another person thwarting your escape plans as this suit-wearing man stepped in to “buy” you from the human who had captured you.

Moments after your cage was transferred to the glasses man and he opened the cage door, you bolted. 

Your fox form was fast and lithe, allowing you to cover several miles in a few minutes. But the glasses man, who introduced himself as William to your captor, surpassed your expectations.

You quickly learned that he was what was known as a Grim Reaper once he introduced himself, and explained that, though it was uncustomary of this “headquarters”, he was to transfer you back to your own country.

Unfortunately, there were a few complications and some paperwork to be done before you could head home.

And so, begrudgingly, you followed him back to headquarters, while you kept an eye out for any openings for you to escape.

For William, he had to admit, normally he wouldn’t be so accommodating towards a demon. But, duty was duty, and he had to carry it out so higher-ups won’t complain. 

The rest of the month was exceptionally eventful, what with your insatiable desire to cause problems and play pranks. To William, he was desperate to get rid of you soon, but headquarters seemed to be taking forever with the paperwork approval process. 

It so happened that one day, during one of your many pranks, you had decided to get a little risky. 

In hindsight, you didn’t expect what was supposed to be an innocent prank to turn horribly wrong. You normally didn’t get hurt in any of your pranks, but perhaps, you should have paid better attention to your surroundings. If you did, maybe you wouldn’t be stuck in this mess.

William was mortified. As someone who was put under his care, he couldn’t believe that the moment he took his eyes off you, you would get yourself into such a life-threatening situation!

How frustrating! How utterly irresponsible!

He wasn’t sure if he was mad at himself or at you, but he’ll be damned if you got killed on his watch.

Look out, little fox, you’re always going to be watched. Perhaps you should enjoy what freedom you have for now, for something much darker is brewing.

[A/N: Thanks for requesting! It was interesting to explore what would happen if a foreign demon entered another country, and how these characters would react. I hope you liked it!]

what happened when Panic! at the Disco opened for The Academy Is...

The same situation happened in both the UK and the US, so I’m combining both of the early 2006 tours here and just talking about one aspect. But here’s some background context first... 

So it was pretty clear by late 2005 that Panic! at the Disco was popular enough to be headlining their own tour even though their first show ever had been in August. The problem was that the band didn’t feel like they had enough experience playing live yet, plus tours had to be booked pretty far in advance… and nobody could’ve predicted how quickly the band would become big. I’m not sure exactly when the two TAI tours were booked with P!ATD as an opening band, but those plans had definitely been established before the end of P!ATD’s very first tour since fans were talking about it by late September when AFYCSO was released. Brendan from The Receiving End of Sirens was on that first tour with P!ATD and said “on the first date they were still relatively unknown. But [their fame] happened so fast that by the last date of the tour they – by anyone’s account – should’ve been headlining the shows. But they were billed as the opener and that’s the spot they were in.”

Then P!ATD moved on to open for Fall Out Boy, AFYCSO was released, their fanbase continued to grow at an exponential rate, and some headlining shows were quickly created for the December break between tours. Those shows sold out super fast so extra dates were added, which then sold out too (those ticket sales happened in November btw). P!ATD seriously had the fanbase to pull off their own tour just 3 months after playing their first show… but then their first couple months of 2006 were devoted to tours that had been booked during what felt like a totally different era. 

I think if you just hear the idea nowadays that Panic! at the Disco opened for The Academy Is… it might sound like that was cool of TAI to help out P!ATD and get them some exposure lol. But that’s so far from what ended up happening. Panic! at the Disco didn’t need any help at that point – their rapidly escalating popularity actually detracted from the band they were opening for. Both the UK & US tours felt like they were co-headlining tours at best. Sometimes it seemed like TAI was more of a footnote on P!ATD’s tour. I liked both bands, so I didn’t know how to feel about this whole season… I wanted to be thrilled for P!ATD’s success, but at the same time I felt really bad for TAI.

It became evident early on that the reason so many of these shows had sold out ridiculously quickly was because of P!ATD. I remember some of TAI’s fans were confused in fall 2005 over why the shows for early 2006 were selling out so fast and being upgraded to bigger & bigger venues since TAI had just finished playing those same small UK venues in October. The London date for January 2006 got upgraded to the freaking Astoria. It did seem weird for the size of TAI’s crowds to change overnight. Meanwhile, British P!ATD fans were frustrated that the shows kept getting bumped to bigger venues because they only wanted to see the opening band (and didn’t realize so many other people were doing the exact same thing). 

So a good portion of the tickets were sold to P!ATD fans, which meant that people were actually leaving the shows right after P!ATD finished playing. I heard so many stories from fans who felt horrible that TAI had to come onstage to see a decent chunk of the crowd headed for the door. It was their tour! Even the Hellogoodbye fans were grumbling online that most of the crowds seemed to be P!ATD fans who didn’t care about the other bands yet were still blocking access to the stage.

Way too many people started referring to both the UK & US tours as “the Panic tour” – even some media outlets too. There were venues that had only P!ATD listed online for the band that was playing. I also remember some sites & radio shows seriously said “Panic at the Disco (and guests).” A lot of magazines & reviews did seem to give equal coverage to both P!ATD and TAI, but that still just made it seem like a co-headlining tour. There were two other band on the US tour too! Acceptance and Hellogoodbye were opening just like P!ATD... and Panic wasn’t even direct support initially. 

interview quotes & article excerpts from the UK tour:

This review from the Glasgow show basically sums up what many fans were also saying:

A large portion of the crowd headed for the door when Panic! At The Disco left the stage. It seems the bands tonight most definitely played in the wrong order, as The Academy Is were left with a modest and seemingly difficult to impress crowd, but they took it in their stride and played a jolly good set of somewhat more average emo tunes... It’s obvious tonight that Panic! At The Disco were the main attraction, with The Academy Is taking their second place with dignity and poise. This whole tour seems to have been a sell out, and it’s obvious the reason why is the band with the exclamation mark in their name. (x)

From Rock Sound’s print review of the Manchester show:

“Next up is the band that everybody came to see, the grammatically wanton Panic! at the Disco. Taking to the stage dressed like outcasts from a fancy dress shop at closing time and pounding straight into the syncopated vaudeville post-emopop anthem ‘The Only Difference…,’ an impolite riot of young dancing girlies infects the venue. Staggeringly obvious is the band’s immense swagger, poise, and suggestive confidence; reminiscent of a group who have been in the game years rather than months. Also apparent is the genuine popularity of the group as each staccato beat or hip twitch of lead singer Brendon Urie makes the many boys and girls in attendance move, scream, gasp for air and convulse in ways not seen since The Beatles made their first Stateside trip.

The Academy Is… have the unenviable job of topping the frenzy of their electro-infused underlings… despite frontman William Beckett’s gender-bending dance moves and pornographically tight trousers, the band do not cause the same consternation among the gathered mass… when compared to the very public and very dramatic ascension of Panic! at the Disco, they fall unfortunately short of the night’s glory. Three bands and only one conclusion: all hail the new dawn of the Panic! revolution.”

From P!ATD’s spring 2006 Rock Sound cover article:

...British critics struggle to effectively describe the furore [P!ATD] has had the temerity and indignity to create without any real UK media ‘push.’ Let’s not forget that they have only truly become an “it” band in this country since the turn of the new year [through] word-of-mouth and Myspace… On their debut UK tour Panic! blew their label mates (and headline act) The Academy Is clean off the stage; no mean feat considering the support and fan base of the band they usurped. Has such talk from press and fans caused any tension between the two groups? 

“It was a weird thing,” acknowledges Ross sheepishly. “We did not expect it would be that way at all. I don’t want to say it was obvious, but it became apparent that we did better than them on some nights.” Urie chimes in immediately, keen to downplay any hint of tension between the two parties: “They were totally polite with it too though; I think they saw it too but they just joked about it and asked us to tone down our set as we were wearing the kids out before they came on! They were not jerks about it at all, so that made things much easier to deal with.”

a review from the Leeds show on the first night: 

“… It was almost as if these guys were the main attraction, and even when speaking to The Academy Is… after the show they were worried that Panic were a bigger attraction than them! I was really surprised when the band themselves were setting up their own equipment on stage.” (x)

another review from Leeds:

“…The biggest injustice of the night is provided when large amounts of the crowd abandon the Cockpit after P!ATD have, in underwhelming fashion, left the stage. Maybe because it's a school night, more likely because The Academy Is... aren't cool enough for their presence. But tonight the scenesters have got it spectacularly wrong. The Academy Is... are over in England for the second time in three months after a pre-emptive showcase of their album last October. Then, as now, they epitomise how pop-rock should be done: effortless, stylish and plain fun to watch.”

One fan at the Leeds show said she she was close to the stage and didn’t notice too many people leaving after P!ATD played, but she said a couple hundred people walked out after P!ATD finished playing at the Manchester show the next night. Fans from other shows said it didn’t seem like that many fans left after P!ATD was done, though... so it varied.

ARTICLE EXCERPTS & REVIEWS FROM THE US TOUR:

Here’s an excerpt from a Billboard review from the first week of February that was titled “Panic! at the Disco Upstages Tour Mates in Toronto:”

“The second stop on the Truckstops and Statelines tour was scheduled for a much smaller venue, but ticket demand moved the show to a new venue roughly six times larger. Perhaps it's because The Academy Is... was headlining the four-act lineup, but most likely it was the fact that Las Vegas buzz act Panic! At The Disco was on the bill too. And while The Academy Is... delivered a solid, catchy and hook-riddled set to close the night, the horde of teenage girls was clearly there to see Panic! At The Disco's lead singer Brendon Urie deliver retro-dance, electro-pop tunes whose wordy titles are nearly as tedious as a couple of their songs… Panic! At The Disco made a quick exit after the winding, almost Queen-like ‘Build God, Then We'll Talk.’ Sadly, roughly one-third of the crowd followed suit. Those who stuck around saw The Academy Is... put on a strong, tight rock show… but even the punchy "Attention" and "Season" didn't create the havoc for which [they were] hoping… As the show wound down, Beckett thanked Hellogoodbye and Acceptance but omitted Panic! At The Disco. An oversight? Perhaps, but a move also easy to chalk up to showmanship. Because while The Academy Is is the top banana on this tour, in terms of popularity and crowd response, it's playing second fiddle.”

The TAI fans I came across online seemed to agree with that review even if they didn’t like what was happening. However, a lot of them were also celebrating when almost half of the crowd cleared out at some shows right after P!ATD played because then the TAI fans could move closer towards the stage. They were like mildly offended that people were leaving, but also thrilled at the same time lol. But the amount of people leaving at each show definitely varied throughout the lengthy US tour… sometimes a ton of people walked out and other times it sounded like most of the crowd stayed for TAI.

Tom Conrad’s February 6th update on TAI’s site said “every band on this tour has been slaying it. some of you though look a bit tired by the time we take that stage. we need to work on your stamina.” In an interview during this season Mike Carden said he didn’t see people leaving after P!ATD... then he tried to focus his answer on how the bands were like brothers on the same label. I really don’t know much about what TAI said about the situation (especially after the tours), so maybe someone else can add more. I mainly just know that Tom Conrad later posted some responses to Alt Press questions in March 2007 and said: “…Warped Tour, however, was not where the morale significantly dropped within the band. It began during our sold out headlining tour with Panic! At the Disco, where the shows started feeling like a co-headlining tour to the leaders within the band.”

Kerrang wrote in a future article that they had first met P!ATD “back in March when they were stealing the limelight on a modest co-headlining club tour with The Academy Is…” and I honestly have a really hard time not remembering this as a co-headlining tour too ha. It absolutely felt that way. But it was actually a good thing that P!ATD wasn’t headlining yet since they had made it clear that they wanted more experience before they tried to headline their own tour. So it was fortunate that they had late January through March 2006 with TAI to work on their stage presence and learn more about being a band before they did their first headlining tour in April.

THE MAIN POST

VolFes 2020 Shop Event Report

That got intense so fast.

Crossposted at Wanderlust.

Because of the current situation and the company probably not wanting to risk it, VolFes 2020 got cancelled and instead was turned into a pop-up shop so that they can sell the goods meant for the event.

Around an estimate of 99.5% of Japan events are mostly all about buying merch, so it felt like a bloodbath of sorts as everyone around me was spending money like it grew on trees (someone I know spent at least USD2,000 for merch alone). I’ve been attending Voltage events for three years now and it always amazes me how far the fangirls will go to spend for their favorite character (I’ll be calling them ‘oshi’ [推し]) from this point forward.

As mentioned in this post, it is always good to go to an event on the very first day to avoid disappointment and loathing when the merch you’re eyeing gets sold out.

I took a leave from work for Day 1 of VolFes 2020 Shop as I knew that it would get crazy; the last few merch buying events I’ve been to left me exhausted, even if all I did was buy. It can get pretty intense at times since the people I hang out with can really get wild with the buying spree.

It was announced in the website that they would allow a free-for-all-entry to anyone wanting to buy goods after 2PM. My friend Y and I took this opportunity to eat lunch and relax since it’ll take time; between her and I, she was more tense and kept checking Twitter for any announcements. As for me, I was a bit more chill, knowing that if they run out of goods, I could still buy online.

If you’ve read my past entry, Y is a huge Saizo fan, so she’s more into this merch buying than I since she has to compete with a lot of fangirls for Saizo goods. I’m happy that with Masamune and Ieyasu, the competition for merch for the both of them isn’t as tense as Saizo’s.

The Chara announced on Twitter that the free-for-all entry would be delayed by an hour, so we took our time to have some dessert, then head off to Ikebukuro Marui. While waiting for the distribution of the designated timeslot tickets, Y and I decided to go to the nearby bank so that I could get some money (thought to pay in cash to keep the expenses lower), and on our way back, Y met an acquaintance who was just on their way out as they were done buying merch.

The acquaintance started asking Y what she would be buying this time around, and Y confessed to not buying anything related to Ouji/Be My Princess series as she had gotten disappointed before with her merch pick. 

(Spoiler alert: her oshi is Ivan Chernenkov, she tried to get can badges of him by buying up to the maximum number of can badges allowed in one transaction (20 for that event), and ended up with no Ivan. That traumatized her that she swore off buying merchandise from that series.)

Acquaintance was with a friend, who then started asking Y if she could buy 20 (!!!) can badges from Ouji-sama no Propose EK (Be My Princess 2) 10th Anniversary art plus a bromide from MiraPuri (Kagami no Naka no Princess Love Palace), with 20 being the limit for can badge purchases.

At that point, Y turned to me, who was simply listening to the conversation, and said, “Kiyo isn’t buying any Ouji trading can badge merch, right?”

I gave her a confused look. “Yeah, I’m sticking to KoiRan and Ouji, with hardly any trading merch on my list.”

The acquaintance’s friend then straight-up asked me, “If you don’t mind, would you buy me 20 more can badges for Ouji EK 10th Anniversary art? I’ll give you some money to cover for the expense.”

I then took out my list (in Google Sheets); the acquaintance’s friend started dictating to me her wishlist. Upon seeing my list written in English, she gave me a look and then said, “Oh… uh, I can’t read English–”

“No worries, I got you covered and I wrote it down. So you want 20 can badges for Ouji EK…”

“Yeah, the ones with the grandsons! 20 of those, and one bromide from MiraPuri!”

Total cost of the merch was JPY9,020, enough for her to get three bonus postcards from MiraPuri.

We then promised to meet up after the buying so that we could hand over the goods, then off we went inside the building to wait for the ticket distribution.

This is the part when my friends and their other friends (at that point, I didn’t know them) got really disappointed and pissed at the free-for-all entry system that had a designated timeslot entry ticket.

If you didn’t know by now, if there’s one thing that sets off a local in this country, it’s the horrible queue/entry ticket system. It’s no exaggeration when someone says that queuing is a national sport/pastime, so if an event is crowded but has a good queue management system, a lot of people would be willing to put up with that.

However, if there are fewer people but the management is horrible, people would really criticize the hell out of it.

Which brings us to Day 1 of VolFes 2020: the website states that the entry ticket they will be handing out will be given at random, which means that even if you arrive late during the distribution of the entry ticket, there is still a chance for you to be able to secure an early timeslot.

Ex. Person A arrives at the venue at 1:30PM and has been waiting for the entry ticket distribution to start, which is an hour away. There’s a chance that they’d be given an entry ticket for the last time slot, which is at 7:40PM ~ 8:00PM.

Person B arrives at the venue at 2:30PM, the designated start of the distirbution of the numbered tickets. There’s a chance that they could get the earliest time slot to buy goods, which is at 3:00PM ~ 3:20PM.

What upset my friends was that when it was time to distribute the tickets, everyone made a run for it as soon as we were asked to queue, and when they gave us the entry ticket, we got a really late timeslot since we were positioned at nearly the end of the line. 

In other words, the entry tickets they gave us was based on how "late" we got to the line; the ones that got ahead of us got an earlier slot, despite the fact that the website mentioned that the time slot on the entry ticket would be shuffled and handed out at random.

Everyone around me was ranting about how half-assed (they all kept throwing the word 中途半端 [chuu’to han’pa]) the whole system was (they could have stuck with a full online timeslot reservation system for Day 1 and Day 2), and how they didn’t go through with the promise of giving out the entry tickets that shuffled the entry time of the attendees in the spirit of equality and fairness, while I figured out the loophole of the system. 

No matter how early you arrive, if you’re not fast enough to queue for the entry tickets as soon as they ask you to, high chance of you being given the last timeslot.

Since we had two hours and twenty minutes to kill, we all headed for dessert at a nearby cheap restaurant and just chatted with one another until it was time to go in.

Unlike last year, VolFes 2020 is smaller, more compact, and you had less time to have fun and enjoy.

Admittedly, the merch line up is better and much more gorgeous, but goodness, there’s just too many of them that it was difficult for me to decide which one I should purchase.

In the end, I decided to skip out on buying the maximum number allowed for buying random merch and stuck it out with getting 3 ~ 4 can badges.

To prevemt the spread of the virus, anyone who enters Ikebukuro Marui and the building had to wear a mask, sanitize their hands, and had 20 minutes to complete their shopping, from picking out the merch to paying at the checkout counter. They only allowed up to 8 people at a time at the shop so you had to plan your purchases. All of us shopping had a list that we referred to while searching for the goods because entry to the venue was controlled and you are not allowed to go back in anymore after paying. 

If you missed out on an item, you’ll have to ask someone whose timeslot to buy the goods is different from yours to buy your merch, you go back the next day, or you order online, which means there’s a three-month waiting period before you receive the item.

Day 1 of the shop was on a Friday so I still had another day to think about any additional purchases, so even if I missed out buying merch, it’s not really a big deal.

[I’m chill that way]

With the buying done, my friends and I headed to another cheap restaurant across the street. Just like last year, the majority of them used that time in the restaurant not to eat, but to open their merch in blind packaging to check and see who they got. If it’s their oshi, they keep it, but for the ones that are not their oshi, they carefully place both the item and the shining packaging inside a ziplock back so that they could trade it with the others.

After we ordered dinner, Y got a message that her acquaintance was at the restaurant we were at, which meant it was time for me to hand over the merch. The girl who asked me to buy for her was so thankful that I think I actually got really shy over it haha.

When I got back to my table, the food was there, so I ate dinner and continued chatting with Y, who also took the time to multitask by eating and opening the merchandise she got. Sad part was, not one of the items she bought for Day 1 contained Saizo, which made me feel sad for her. It’s really rough when you spend so much and end up with no oshi; it’s really the worst feeling in the world.

Y had an early day for Day 2 of VolFes 2020 Shop so we all parted ways early as everyone was exhausted from stressing out whether merch would get sold out on Day 1 and from simply buying goods.

Day 2 wasn’t that eventful, aside from us buying more goods (I bought Ivan’s goods this time around as my priority was Yakov’s), and I ended up trading all my Saizo goods with Y for other characters. Nothing against Saizo, but I know that someone who isn’t me would actually cherish him more than I will ever do.

———-

Not sure if anyone’s interested to see what I bought, but let me know if you’d want me to post photos of my haul.

———-

More event photos:

Task #16:  Jukebox Musical/TV or Movie Soundtrack: come up with a playlist of at least 10 songs, write a scene summary to go with each one

The story starts with Aunt Petunia fitting Wilbur with a new look for the stage, as Wilbur is going to be performing at his concert that night. While Petunia fusses with his outfit, Wilbur and Franny are rehearsing together (This Is the Life), harmonizing happily with each other when Louie bursts into the room, having been on the phone the whole time. “Yes I can get you an extra ticket to see Hannah Montana. Yeah. Okay. Okay talk to you later Mark.”

Louie then turns to Wilbur and says “Okay I need two tickets to see Hannah Montana.” Wilbur can’t help but laugh. “Tough luck Louie. I’m all sold out.” And Wilbur would be delighted to keep his brother from something he wanted. It would be satisfying. Franny snorts. “Think of it this way Wilbur. If he goes out with this boy, they fall in love, they get married, he moves out.” It’s a quick switch for Wilbur to offer up the tickets to Louie after all.

All of a sudden, a text message sound goes off and Wilbur gasps. “Pip alert! Incoming in a minute.” Wilbur shrugs off his fancy jacket, tugs off his blonde wig and stashes it away and just manages to adjust his hair when Pip rollerblades into the room waving two concert tickets in the air. “Guesssss who got two of the hottest tickets in town for Hannah Montana!!! Oh I could pass out. He’s only the bi icon of dreams! Why aren’t you jumping up and down in excitement?” Wilbur manages a smile. “Yaayyy?”

Cue the (Best of Both Worlds) with an adorable intro that includes Wilbur twirling around from regular clothes to super glitzy stage stuff. Pip as the best friend, sequences of Wilbur, Pip and Tony trying to deal with various ridiculous shenanigans. Sequences of Franny and Louie messing around and getting into trouble of their own, a Hannah reveal with Wilbur revealing himself to Tony, etc. You get the picture.

The next scene you get Wilbur after his concert dealing with the insanity of fame as Hannah. Tony tries to climb through Wilbur’s window to get an autograph, but Pip is the one that wins out and clambers in over him to get into the room. Wilbur tries to hide his secret from Pip, but Pip is too quick and he realizes Wilbur is Hannah. Pip is scandalized. (cue the Other Side of Me) 

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

Pip and Wilbur fight over the reveal for days, largely because Pip is offended that he wasn’t in the loop of something so juicy. Wilbur turns it around and tells Pip about all the celebrity gossip he could be in on if he gets over being kept in the dark. Pip and Wilbur make up. (True Friend). End of Episode.

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

The next story starts with Wilbur, Pip and Tony discussing prom and what to do about dates. Wilbur is exhausted from the world tour he’s been on and hasn’t had the time to really make the connections he needs to get a proper date. “Well who are you going with?” He asks Pip. Pip laughs as if it was obvious, and gestures to Tony. Now Wilbur has the extra humiliation of being the only one in his friend group not to have a date. “Wait. Wait. Wilbur. What about him?” Pip quips, gesturing at only one of the hottest boys in school: Barrel Adamson.

Cue AGAIN the (Best of Both Worlds) with an adorable intro that includes Wilbur twirling around from regular clothes to super glitzy stage stuff. Pip as the best friend, sequences of Wilbur, Pip and Tony trying to deal with various ridiculous shenanigans. Sequences of Franny and Louie messing around and getting into trouble of their own, a Hannah reveal with Wilbur revealing himself to Tony, etc. You get the picture.

“Barrel? Oh my goood there’s no way…” Wilbur groaned, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. “I haven’t done anything interesting enough to turn his head.” “You would have if you said that you-” “No Pip. There’s no way I can tell him my secret. You know what would happen.” This conversation leads to Tony and Pip trying to bolster Wilbur more and get him to try to talk to Barrel.

Wilbur goes over to Barrel where he’s looking at the ketchup and mustard as if they held all of life’s secrets. Wilbur smiles awkwardly. “Hey man…” “Hey!” Barrel quips. Wilbur gets flustered and starts rambling about this movie that’s coming out and accidentally starts covering his hands in ketchup. “You know ketchup’s an excellent moisturizer. Seriously. You should try it,” Wilbur suggests, slathering his crush’s hands in ketchup and then cringing and fleeing back to the table in the Secondary cafeteria. (Nobody’s Perfect)

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

Wilbur spends the rest of the week trying to charm Barrel and failing miserably, sometimes because his schemes are bad, others because Pip or Tony interfere. It’s a mess. The scene cuts to Wilbur sitting dramatically on the balcony outside of his bedroom, strumming a guitar singing (If We Were A Movie).

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

The scene shifts and Wilbur’s mom Franny is able to get in touch with BTS who really wants to do a collab with Hannah. The problem is that when Franny and the members of BTS get into the same workspace it’s as if Wilbur stops existing. It makes Wilbur horribly miserable and he wants to try to get the BTS members to dislike his mom. He tells Jin that Franny hates korean food and thinks Jin has a weird laugh. With Namjoon he spins a lie that Franny agrees with the negative critics that say he doesn’t look like an idol and that he’s not a great rapper either. Wilbur avoids Yoongi because he thinks Yoongi would catch him on the lie too fast. He tells Hoseok that Franny thinks his dancing is subpar and that she’d be embarrassed to see him dancing with Hannah. Jimin he tells that Franny thinks he doesn’t try at all and that he’s not that charming, Taehyung that he’s only a visual and doesn’t actually have a voice, and Jungkook that his mom thinks he’s a dimwit. 

The boys rage and try to cancel the collaboration until Franny catches wind of what went down and explains that her son was feeling left out with all the time she was spending working on good music with them to perform with Hannah. Apologies are made and Hannah and BTS end up at this fun festive beach party performing (We Got the Party), (Make it Right), and (Dynamite) back to back.

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

This next episode has Wilbur facing a massive dilemma. Lately he’s been crushing on this hot guitarist in his band: Robbie. He’s new, he’s intriguing, and he gives off a completely sexy rock star vibe. But at the same time his ex-boyfriend who he has history with Phineas has come swooping back into town telling Wilbur he wants another chance with him. Wilbur is torn. Does he go with the new and jump into the excitement? Or does he pursue the self-centered ex who he still holds close in his heart? (He Could be the One) plays as he struggles, staring at the pictures of Phineas and Robbie.

oooOOoooo woaaahhhh

Wilbur ends up choosing Robbie, ditching Phineas forever for the chance of something new and not someone who cheated etc. (yes i side eye the Hannah Montana plot for that one) He and Robbie go on their first date, and they have their first kiss on the front porch of Wilbur’s house before Franny interrupts them both. Robbie heads out and Wilbur smiles to himself as he thinks he’s finally getting it right. Maybe he won’t have to reveal his secret. Maybe it will work just like this. (This is the Life)

❉ 139 Dreams (Hoshi/Soonyoung Kwon) Essential

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Romance ☁

Word Count: 2,095 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Soonyoung ☁

World: Seventeen ☁

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

Your birthday was just around the corner, but instead of feeling excited you were feeling worried. Your boyfriend, Soonyoung, was an absolute gem, there was no doubt about that. Talented, confident, hard-working and the sweetest little cinnamon roll you had ever met. He treated you like a goddess, showering you with love and affection when he was around, and spamming your phone with hearts, kisses and sweet words when he wasn’t.

Lately, though, he had been acting distant. You did ask him about it at first, but he just claimed that he was really busy and apologized for not being around as much. You hadn’t missed how nervous he sounded when he answered, though.

Now you’re a pretty reasonable person, understanding that being an idol was hard work and took up most of his time. It was something you had agreed to before you started up your relationship, but this situation just felt… different. You couldn’t put your finger on it and you briefly wondered if it was just your anxiety messing with your mind. Either way, you did your best to ignore it and hide that something was bothering you.

The last thing you wanted was to worry Soonyoung.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

Junhong sat against the wall in the corner of a small cafe, scrolling through his twitter. You returned to the table with the food, setting it down before reclaiming your seat across from him.

Since Junhong was good friends with both you and Soonyoung, you decided to open up to the younger male and explain what you’ve been feeling. At the very least, it would help to get it off your chest. He had been surprised when you told him, but eager to give you a hand in any way he could.

“What are you thinking?” He asked, softly, popping a french fry into his mouth.

“I don’t know anymore,” you sighed, resting your cheek in your palm. “I briefly wondered if he was cheating, but I know he would never do something like that.”

“And you feel guilty for even considering it.”

“Yeah,”

He hummed, looking at his phone again. A light bulb went off in his head when he read a particular comment on twitter. “I have a brilliant idea!”

“Should I be scared?” You joked, earning a pout from him. “Tell me this brilliant plan that may or may not get us thrown in jail.”

“Seventeen is doing a meet and greet not too far from here. Let’s go!”

“Tickets for those events are sold in advance. How are we supposed to get in?”

“I’m an idol, remember?” He paused, suddenly feeling the urge to facepalm. “You forgot I was an idol, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” you coughed, “Just for a second.”

Junhong laughed, “Let’s go and get us some autographs~”

“Wait, wait, wait! Don’t you think they are going to question why we suddenly showed up? Then what?”

“Hmm, I remember seeing a costume store down the street. We’ll stop by there!”

Unsure about the plan, you quickly threw away the trash and rushed after him. As you followed him through the store, you started to notice that something was off.

“Junhong?”

“Hmm?”

“This is a Halloween store…”

“Yes,”

“It’s July…”

“You’ve heard of Christmas in July, now get ready for Halloween in July!” He struck a pose, using his arms to show off the wall of wigs as if you were suddenly on a game show.

You groaned, suddenly feeling your confidence drop as you kneeled down. “This plan is so gonna fail. He’s going to see right through us and think I don’t trust him.”

“Or~ he could think we were bored and just having fun!”

“You’re right,” you took a deep breath and stood up. “I need to stop worrying so much and just enjoy myself!”

“Of course I’m right!”

Noticing a foam sword on the wall beside you, you grabbed it and brought it down onto his neck. He cried out, falling to the ground dramatically. You did your best to sound serious through your laughter. “Don’t get too cocky, boy.”

You both burst into laughter, making the store clerk look at you both like you were crazy.

You ended up spending longer than you should have in that store, both of you constantly getting distracted by various items. It honestly felt so nice to just goof around and have fun. Life was far too short not to stop and enjoy the little things.

Finally, the pair of you stepped out of the shop, confident and ready to tackle the world. Junhong was sporting a large afro complete with a neon pink bow and matching sunglasses. You were wearing Katy Perry’s wig from California Girls with matching heart-shaped sunglasses. Everyone stopped and stared at you as you walked down the street, the aura of pure confidence making the scene even funnier.

When you reached the venue, it was nearly empty as they were meeting with the last two fans. Your appearance earned everyone’s attention almost instantly, the members crowding around you.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Jeonghan questioned, unable to stop his smirk.

“We’re starting our own group,” You announced confidently. “Katy and the Fro!”

“Wait, why is your name first?” Junhong pouted.

“Because ‘Fro and the Katy’ sounds weird.”

“Good point,”

“Plus I’m cooler.”

“Oi!”

The group started laughing, clapping you on the back. Your smile faltered when you scanned the room. Where was Soonyoung? Junhong met your gaze and you shared a silent conversation. He nodded, grabbing the attention of the group by making up a fake setlist for your first album. You quietly slipped away and headed to the back of the venue.

Soonyoung was on the phone, his back facing you. “No, I wanted the blue ones… right… no, you can’t send them there! It’s essential that she doesn’t find out about this!… yes, that’s fine… I understand, thank you!” With a bright smile, he slid his phone into his back pocket and walked away.

You were suddenly overcome by a pain in your temple. Texting Junhong to let him know that you were going home, you pulled the wig off and left the venue.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

When you woke up the next day, you had to rush to the bathroom, emptying out the contents of your stomach. Your entire body was aching, head throbbing and stomach cramping painfully. Had you eaten something bad? Or was it just a bug?

You tried calling Soonyoung a couple times, but you just got a busy tone. Feeling exhausted, you crawled back into bed, curling into a ball under the fluffy comforter. It wasn’t long before you had fallen asleep.

It was almost four in the afternoon when you woke again. Your body was still achy and your stomach was still unhappy with you, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been that morning. Your phone buzzed on the nightstand but you weren’t fast enough to catch it before it stopped. Before you could retract your hand, it started to vibrate again.

The cold glass felt good against your burning skin. “Hello?”

“Yah! Where have you been?! Do you know how many times we’ve called you?” Jeonghan scolded before pausing. “You sound horrible. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sick,” You muttered.

“Honestly,” he took a breath. “We were all worried about you. We’ve been calling for hours!”

“I’m sorry,” you frowned. “I was sleeping.”

“Soonyoung is on his way to your apartment. He was afraid that something had happened.”

“Oh…” You forced yourself to sit up. “I need to unlock the door…”

“No, no! You lay back down right now, Y/N!” Jeonghan ordered. “He has a key, remember? Just rest and he’ll be there soon.”

“Mmkay,” you mumbled, climbing back under the covers. He told you that he would speak to you later before hanging up the phone. Your eyes drooped, but you forced yourself to stay awake.

The front door opened and shut, rushed footsteps echoing throughout the silent apartment. The bedroom door flung open and Soonyoung ran into the room, yelling out your name. He was breathing heavy from running.

You peeked out from the covers, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. Seeing him made you feel a bit better.

As much as he wanted to throw himself on top of you, Jeonghan had informed him that you were sick and he didn’t want to make you feel worse. Instead, he gently climbed in beside you, bringing you into his arms. The warmth of his body mingling with the scent of his cologne made you feel light-headed.

“My poor baby,” He murmured softly, running his hand across your back.

“Sorry for worrying you, Soonie.”

He quickly shook his head, smiling down at you. “Don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing… I haven’t been paying much attention to you the past week.”

You snuggled closer to him. “It’s okay, I know you’re busy.”

“Junhong told me that you’ve been worrying… what were you thinking?”

You hesitated, playing with the button on his sweater. “A lot of things. At first, I thought I was just imagining it. Then I thought that maybe you were cheating on me… maybe I had been too clingy and you wanted a break from me. Finally, I started to wonder if you had gotten hurt and were hiding it from me.”

Soonyoung couldn’t believe his ears. He gently pushed you away, shifting so that he was eye-level with you. His eyes were filled with love and his voice was soft. “Let me clear up all of your worries so that they never bother you again. I will never cheat on you or grow tired of you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You give me the motivation to improve and become a better person. I want you to look at me and feel proud to say, ‘That’s my Soonyoung. My amazing, hard-working future husband’. And if I had gotten hurt, you would know because I’d be clinging to you like glue wanting you to take care of me.”

You giggled, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest. How could this man make you feel so high with just words alone? Your hand rested on his cheek. “How did I manage to get such an amazing man?”

He leaned in, rubbing his nose against your own. “Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you. Now, would you like to know the real reason that I was so busy?” You nodded. “I was planning a birthday party for you, and…”

“And?” You prompted, curiously.

Soonyoung shifted so that he could pull out a white piece of cloth from his pocket. A blue ribbon was wrapped tight around it. “Open it,”

You slowly sat up, not wanting to jolt your head in case the room decided to start spinning. Once you were steady, you tugged on the ribbon, letting the silk fall onto the comforter. The cloth fell open to reveal a beautiful ring. The stone reflected the light of the setting sun, casting a spectrum of color onto the wall. “It’s… incredible.”

His arms found your body again as he pulled himself closer, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I was planning on putting this into the lotus candle. You know, the one that blooms when you light it? It was supposed to be perfect, but life isn’t perfect and things rarely go as we plan them.” He gently plucked the ring from your hand, looking you dead in the eye with so much love and adoration that it stole your breath away. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

“You don’t even have to ask,” you whispered, fighting back the tears of pure happiness. “Yes, one hundred times yes!”

With a smile that lit up the room, he slid the ring onto your finger before falling back onto the bed, pulling you down on top of him. You were his everything and he was yours. The love between the two of you was eternal and raw, and it was essential to the happiness that you both shared.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Soonyoung pulled out his phone, scrolling through his gallery before showing you a picture of the cutest white and orange kitten. “I adopted a kitten for you!”

“He’s adorable! But… my apartment doesn’t allow pets.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that out after I adopted him… We’ll just have to move to a new apartment!”

“Together?”

“Of course together!” He booped your nose with a smile. “How can I not live with my beautiful wife~?”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

REFLECTION ABOUT GOT7’S COMEBACK

Hello baby birds! I know it has been a long time since I last posted and I’m so sorry about it, I’ve been extremely busy with college and life in general and couldn’t find time to post anything here. But… good news: I’m finally free and I plan on finishing my ‘Memory Lane’ series, but first I need to address some things regarding this comeback that I’m not so happy about.

1. GOT7’s ‘Eclipse’ MV views in the first 24h. It’s no secret that we only got 6’5M views for Eclipse in the first 24h after its release (less than the views for ‘Miracle’ and ‘Focus On Me’ – JUS2 subunit). Now, I don’t really know who we should blame for this: YouTube or ourselves? While streaming the MV I noticed that the views were frozen for approximately 1h whole hour, and the worst part of all is that we never got those views back. I was so mad at YouTube for doing us dirty when we were putting all of our best efforts there for the boys (we had a great start, 500.000 views in just 1h after the release); But another thing I also noticed was that our streaming party didn’t really work, it was like ahgases were not working together to reach our 15M goal. It almost felt like we weren’t there, and that makes me sad because we almost got the same result as we did with ‘Look’ (6M views). I really had big hopes of breaking Lullaby’s record (10M in the first 24h), but it seems like we are going backwards instead of forward. This made me feel like the fandom decreased instead of growing - something that is not true because our fandom got bigger after the world tour. Now, like I said before, I don’t know if we should blame YouTube for this or ourselves. I honestly think it’s a combination of both, YouTube really did us dirty but we should have tried harder for our boys. (Funny thing: our views in the first 24h were really low but we managed to reach 30M views in just 5 days, beating our own record…).

2. Melon issue. This is something I talked about in my ‘Lullaby Comeback Reflection’ post, and I still think the same thing. I don’t know why Melon hates us, but they do. On the first day (20/05), we debuted at number 52, and just went downhill from there reaching the 71st place. Then, on the second day (21/05), it seemed like we went up for a bit and managed to reach the 45th position, then we dropped to 55 and from there we charted 100 and eventually disappeared from the chart. On the third day (22/05), we appeared again at number 90 only to drop to the 91st place, and then go up to 75. Finally, on the fourth day (23/05), we charted the 82nd place and after that we disappeared from the chart. As you can see our results are not good enough, ‘Eclipse’ charted really low compared to other songs. On top of that, we only charted for four days before completely disappearing from the Melon chart. I’m positive this is Melon’s doing, they did us dirty in our last comeback too and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are supressing our listeners and sabotaging our streaming party. I’m so sorry for the boys because they worked really hard for this, but their efforts are still not recognised in Korean charts (specially Melon).

3. Timing. This is a really important point. We have to be honest and admit that GOT7’s comeback came in the worst time ever. First of all, it was scheduled shortly after Bambam’s ‘Black Feather Tour’ in Thailand, Jackson’s birthday fan meeting in China and JUS2 debut and tour. Many ahgases spent a lot of money buying the new subunit albums and tickets for all the shows. Also, we have the world tour just around the corner, so it makes sense that many ahgases prefer saving their money to buy tickets for the tour instead of buying the new albums. On top of that, we can’t forget that the majority of the fandom are teenagers and young adults that have final exams around this time of the year (myself included, the day of the comeback I had my first final exam in college). This obviously made the fandom focus on other things that were by far more important to us than the comeback (sad but true).

4. Sales – Album stock. This is closely related to the last point. Because of the timing the comeback was scheduled, our sales weren’t good either. On the first day, we sold 62,002 copies (our best result ever), but throughout the week we only managed to sell 214.125 copies (not good enough to win on music shows). Now, this has to do with the lack of stock: for some reason there weren’t enough albums and a lot of ahgases had to wait until Wednesday to be able to purchase them (that’s a whole day lost there, thanks for nothing JYP…). I don’t understand why this happened, especially if we take into account that GOT7 is the best album-seller under JYP Entertainment (‘Eyes On You’ sold 223.844 copies in the first week, the best-selling album under the company). They should have been more prepared and have stock ready knowing that even though GOT7 are not digital monsters, the rock with album sales.

5. Music shows. We don’t have to be geniuses to know that with our bad charting and lower sales, we have very few options of winning with ‘Eclipse’, even if we do well with MV views. In music programs, they give more importance to digital sales than physical album sales, and since we are not even charting anymore (in most charts), I am going to be honest here and say that I don’t think we are going to win anything (‘You Are’ 2.0). My thoughts are based -specially- after today’s Show Champion: we were nominated but didn’t win. Usually the time to bring trophies home is during the first week after the comeback was released (or the second week of promotions), after the first week winning is really hard. But based on our horrible start and everything that happened last week, I don’t think we are going to get any trophy with this comeback (just my opinion, I could still be wrong).

EDIT: I WAS WRONG, WE WON ON MCOUNTDOWN (30/05), MUSIC BANK (31/05) AND INKIGAYO (02/06)!!!!! 💚💚

6. JYP Division 2 - Promotions. This is something that has to do with this comeback, but also something that I have been accumulating for months now. The way Division 2 handles and promotes GOT7 is pure shit, it’s like they are not even focusing on them. First, they barely put them on variety shows, and the only one they went to -Idol Room- was lacking promotion music wise; and the promotion period is just two weeks (meaning that this upcoming week is the last one we will be seeing them on music shows). They spent the first 30 minutes of the program talking and messing around with Doni and Coni, and then introduced ‘Eclipse’. For a non GOT7 fan, an outsider, this could get boring pretty fast. Secondly, the album stock situation: because of that mistake we lost sales, sales that were crucial for music shows. Thirdly, the time they decided to release the comeback was extremely bad calculated, they should have known this could happen. Also, their decision of debuting a new subunit and sending Bambam on tour was something benefitial at the moment but with not so good long term consequences, as everything now seems rushed and poorly done. I understand that it’s really hard to schedule comebacks, specially if we take into account the company as a whole: Itzy’s debut - JUS2 debut / Jinyoung drama - StrayKids comeback - Twice comeback - Itzy comeback - GOT7 world tour - Twice world tour - StrayKids world tour... but even though everything is packed, I still think that things could have been done differently. There’s something wrong with the management team in Division 2 that is affecting GOT7 negatively, and that also makes me fear for Itzy (as both groups are under this division).

7. JYP strict rules towards fans – Fansigns problems. This point has to do with issues that happened weeks prior to the comeback, but that is clearly affecting the promotions. In case you didn’t know, ‘fans’ followed GOT7 members everywhere (yes, even to their homes), the situation got so out of control that even the boys had to post in their personal Instagram accounts the official statement released by JYP Entertainment, and because of that JYP reinforced the rules that ahgases must follow when they are with the boys. But this rules have gone as far as to not even allowing the fans to touch or high five the members in fansigns (now, let’s remember that the fans that go to the fansigns have spent a ridiculously huge amount of money on albums just to get the chance of going), and not letting the members write the names of the fans in the albums (they just basically sign the album and that’s it). And not only that, recently ahgases that went to one of the fansigns last week took to Twitter to express their discontent with how they were treated by the staff. I’ll leave some of the messages that ahgases posted on Twitter:

I do agree that we must protect the boys, and I think those rules are great to be followed outside. But on a closed space with security to watch over everything that’s going on in the event, not allowing fans to even get a high five with the members is going a bit too far. Also, the staffs’ attitude needs to be checked: they are there working, not having fun with their friends. They should know their position in the fansigns, and not disturb the conversations going on between fans and the members of GOT7. I really hope JYP Entertainment thinks things over, because if not the consequences could be catastrophic. Take as an example the upcoming tour, no info about VIP tickets has been released yet. In fact, for the America leg of the tour there are no VIP tickets. That makes me wonder how things are going to be done in the tour.

8. Album and comeback thoughts (focused on just the boys and music). After so many negative comments, the only good thing about all of this is seeing the boys together and doing what they love. I can’t express with words how happy I am to see them together again after so much time. Also, the whole album is a bop. It’s the bop of the year (fight me on that): all the songs are amazing, the vocals, the raps, the lyrics, the music, the style, the concep... just everything is out of this world. I’m so glad that they get to perform on stage and carry out the message this album has. I couldn’t relate more with the meaning of this album, and I know we all ahgases feel the same way. Even though a lot of negative things have happened in the past few weeks, I’m still happy to see they are back and better than ever. As their fans, the only thing we can do is support them no matter what and be there for them just like they are here for us when we need them the most. Also, I can’t wait for the tour to start and I can’t wait to see them again this year. I’m so excited that just listening to the songs of the last tour makes me feel tingly on the inside!

Well baby birds, that’s it for today’s post. I’ll update my ‘Memory Lane’ series as soon as possible as some of you have been asking for the remaining members. I love you all!!! 💚🐥💚

My FULL Testimony:

trigger warning: I mention some very hard things to read for some. proceed with caution! and don’t read this if you are not an adult.

My name is Ashley Huizar and this is how Jesus Christ changed my life. I never grew up in a religious-based household, or with anyone who was seeking for truth. I lived with my mother my entire life since she and my dad never married, and they split up when I was 3 yrs old. At a very young age, I was exposed to lots of sexual immorality such as pornography and crude, sexual talk. This soon led me to get enslaved in the sin of indulging in pornography as young as 11 or 12 yrs old and this continued for many years. At 15 years old I became VERY rebellious. I was promiscuous, jumping from relationship to relationship, smoking, sneaking out at night, lying to my mother where I was going, drinking, and partying. Not too long after, I soon began to dabble into New Age, Hinduism, Buddhism, The Occult, Yoga, Shamanism, and other DARK and DECEPTIVE false religions. I began collecting many books on these topics and my library was overflowing. I got super drawn into the yoga/hippie way of living…I ended up getting dreadlocks around 16 yrs old, then began a life of a toxic pattern, and at 16-17 years old I really began to go downhill. At 16 - I began going to desert/rave gatherings with many drugged out people, and no police or authority to watch over anyone. I was going to these, camping away from home full weekends at a time without my mother or father ever really knowing. I got into doing party drugs while thinking I HAD to do these things in order to be ‘spiritual.’   At 17, I had a boyfriend who was 23 years old and he introduced me into psychedelic drugs such as LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, etc. I began doing these drugs thinking I had to engage in them in order to reach some higher, esoteric level of enlightenment, or reach a sort of ‘’god consciousness.’’ I began to really lose my mind and have numerous bad trips, memory loss, psychosis and saw lots of demonic activity in and around me. I even ran away to Vegas for an entire two weeks without talking to any family and continued to be brainwashed by this man and taken advantage of immensely. After that relationship, I had another one who was into the same thing. Older, and had access to psychedelics. The cycle began to REPEAT. I was used, and abused more than a few times at this age. I was naive and indulged in any drug I was given and began to really lose myself, my family, and my identity. A similar thing happened at 17 with a 50-year-old man who went by the name Broly in the festival world. He claimed to be God, and that he was here to save my soul. He manipulated me, gave me drugs, and did horrible things to me and kept telling me this was the truth and that he was the way to spiritual awakening. I was SO brainwashed. He even had his own published religion that seemed very real to me. Granted, I was already brainwashed by many other false religions. (I had NO clue what the gospel really was, or who Jesus was at the time) After escaping that very toxic ‘relationship’ I began to get heavily addicted to a drug called ketamine. I began changing my name on Facebook and barely talked to my family. I was very, very lost. This continued on the whole year. When I was 18, I moved out to New Mexico with my boyfriend at the time, and continued to smoke, drink, practice yoga and even got into prostitution online. I sold myself virtually online by videos, pictures, etc. I lived here for maybe about 4 months, until I packed up my bags, got on a train and left. I was talking to my family a bit more, but not much. I came back to my dads’ house, left my bags, stayed home for maybe a day then left to the desert with friends for another rave. The same routine continued, and I ended up meeting someone from this rave, and he wanted me to come to Santa Barbara with him, so, I did. I stayed in a hotel with this person I did not know, camped out in parks, and was HEAVILY using the drug ketamine again. This time, it was for 3 days straight, almost nonstop. I was barely eating, or drinking water at this time. Then, we stayed at his friend’s house and I began mixing drugs. I began to fall out of consciousness and was very disoriented. I passed out for a while, then when I awoke again, something was VERY wrong. My vision became very narrow, and the colors were dark around me. I started crying and instinctively screaming at the top of my lungs, telling them to let me out of the room, and they refused. They were holding the door closed and my body switched instantly into fight or flight, I began trying to fight them in order to get out, and get help because I was close to death. I tried breaking out of their window, breaking their blinds…Finally, I got out and ran screaming for help. The only closest thing to help was a dentist's office. I ran inside screaming that I was drugged, raped, and in need of help. I told them to look up my dad and to please call him. The last thing I remembered was falling to the ground and having 3-4 painful seizures. My parents told me after that I had to be strapped down because of how intense my seizure was from overdosing. I was in complete darkness, yet still fully conscious. I was not aware of what was going on in reality because all I was aware of was darkness, pain, and my body's out of control shaking. I did not even know that I went in an ambulance to get to the emergency room. After the overdose, I went through recovery and had to get treatment there at the hospital because I was in bad shape. My dad drove all the way from San Diego to rescue me and after being able to come home, my dad sat me down and said, ‘’Ashley. Something HAS to change or you are going to die. This path you have chosen ONLY leads to death. I could have lost you.’’ So, I cut my dreadlocks off and went sober for a while, but by my own strength & self-effort which was soon to fail. After months of being sober, I for the last time fell into the same toxic pattern and I left to Oregon for a month. My dad had bought me a plane ticket and a pass to go to Guatemala for the whole month of October alone for a Yoga Certification course to become a teacher. I had told him about this a year before, and this was the plan. So, after a month of living in Oregon, I came back home to prepare for Guatemala. Little did I know, the Lord was beginning to draw me. As I look back, I see His providential hand always at work. The fact that he kept me alive all of those years astonishes me. A few days before my trip - I came across a youtube video. I cannot remember what it was called, but all I remembered is that it said ‘’All of the yoga, chakras, Hinduism, and meditation are HIDING Jesus from you. It is blinding you to the truth.’’ I began to weep and pace back and forth saying to myself, ‘’No way. There is NO way this 'spiritual' life I have been living is a lie.’’ After pushing this video away, I began to really question everything I had been doing. Fast forward - I go to Guatemala the whole month to study Yoga deeper. I had studied yoga since I was about 15 years old and was drawn to the false spirituality it promised. The chief end goal of Yoga is something called "moksha." It is to basically merge with this divine consciousness and come into union with Brahman (the false impersonal force). It is completely rooted in Hinduism and cannot be mixed with Christianity for dark and light do not mix. During the trip, I was with yogis, witches, spiritists, and surrounded by lost people who thought they knew the truth, myself being one of them. I was realizing how empty I felt, and how much I was internally hurting. There were many days I just wanted to go home. After a month, I ended up getting certified, passed all my yoga classes and assignments, then I got to go home. After being home again, my search continued. The devil REALLY began trying to keep me blinded and deceived. I started to become very attracted to Jesus’ name. I first began to see His Hebrew name, Yeshua. I kept saying, ‘’Who IS this Yeshua?’’ After days of studying Gnosticism, I was on my knees by my bed and was weeping. All of these false religions had NO foundation. They were SO confusing and all I could think was, ‘’I have been searching to find something spiritual for 4 years now, I am SO SICK of seeking.’’ and I began crying out to the God I did not know at the time, but He knew me. I was crying on my knees just yelling, ‘’PLEASE GOD, I don’t know if you are real, but WHO are you…Please, I need you. I am SO broken.’’ Perhaps a day or so later, in God’s Sovereignty I come across another youtube video like before. This time it was ALL about how God is Sovereign, how He is in control of ALL things, and how Jesus alone is the truth, the way, and the life. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiBgiOSsC-k&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3sF7B27ZLx6tvJNXiFiDU4TedTRmimaPI9v8oqnFe6MJVEyY7VET7VGbA I began to cry so much. I am talking about INTENSE tears, but this time tears of JOY. Tears of astonishment. My blinders were lifted this day by the Holy Spirit. He opened my eyes to the truth of Jesus, and I felt a huge weight lift off of me. I kept my eyes above towards heaven and kept saying, ‘’Thank you.’’ With tears in my eyes just thanking God. The attacks from satan began to come upon me right after trying to keep me again, blinded. That day I called the only brother Christian I knew all my life in tears asking him to please help me, because I need to know what is next and what is real. He said he would meet with me on December 9th. On December 8th, I got in contact with a friend who was deep into New Age and I hung out with him to tell him about this video and how I really feel this is the truth. Nothing has ever felt MORE REAL to me than the truth of Christ, I would tell him. He would not listen. So, I stopped talking about it. That day, he said he wanted me to do this psychedelic drug with him, and fear rose in me. But I said yes because of pride. I remember the fear I felt going back to his house to do this drug. I truly believe the Lord was trying to direct me out of this situation. The fear and the resistance I felt was something I had never felt before. The feeling finally that this was WRONG. But I still did it. I remember thinking of my dad, and family and was grieved. All I thought to myself was, ‘’This could be it. This may be the final straw, and I might actually die this time.’’ People would do this drug called ‘’DMT’’ to try and ‘’reach God’’ or ‘’source.’’ I remember my friend asked me, ‘’How much do you want?’’ I shrugged. He said, ‘’I’ll send give you enough to send you to source.’’ I remember thinking, ‘’I might actually die…’’ My heart was beating so fast. But, by God’s grace, He kept me safe under His protection, and this drug had no affect on me. It made me shut my eyes, but I snapped out of it quickly. My friend talked about seeing faces, hearing voices, and getting spiritual insight. I was truly grateful that I was okay and did not go through past experiences such as seizures, fainting, etc. After this, I told my friend I had to go because I was going to be meeting with my friend who is a Christian tomorrow. He was shocked. December 9th, it was the day of my salvation. My surrender. Before meeting with my Brother in Christ I remember thoughts of the enemy instilling in my mind to cancel the meeting, but God was stronger and of course, I still met with him. We talked, prayed and cried. The day lasted about 9 hours. My friend walked me through the gospel and I surrendered to Christ that night. He gave me his Bible and instructed me to read through the gospels immediately and pray constantly. After praying and surrendering to the Lord that night, I got a trash bag and ripped all the tapestries off my wall, all my new age pictures, dream catchers, crystals, tarot cards, BOOKS, IDOLS, and more - I threw it all away. Trashed it. I did not care what my family was going to say. My grandma that night said to me, ‘’You can’t just change like that.’’ I looked up toward the sky and said, ‘’This is the truth. Yes I can.’’ Because it was all THE LORD. HE OPENED MY EYES. He gifted me the gift of faith, repentance and supernaturally caused me to be born-again. This was the beginning of my upward journey because of Jesus Christ. All desires for any drug left me. I have not craved any drug since the date I was saved. In 2018 the Lord freed me from sexual immorality, and addiction to pornography after about 7 years. He freed me from drug addiction and healed MANY wounds in my heart that year. I had MANY restless, and sleepless nights because of spiritual attacks, & flashbacks in dreams, but I continued to daily fight in prayer on my knees, and continued to renew my mind through the reading of His Word, meditating on His Word, continual worship, praise, and abiding in joy, sorrows, or anguish... He continues to show Himself faithful to me, and cause my heart to OVERFLOW with love, and adoration of Him. Daily. It is a DAILY fight to stay in His presence and abide in Him, but it is the ONLY fight that is worth it. Jesus has truly transformed my heart in ways I never imagined possible. I now desire above all to be a godly wife and mother at home and I run all my social media accounts to proclaim the gospel and the truth of Jesus Christ! He died for me, now I live for Him!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ( 1 Peter 1:3 )  

For those who have never heard the gospel, this is it: 

We have ALL broken God’s commandments and are deserving of eternal hell. God is a JUST and HOLY God who MUST punish guilty sinners for their iniquity. But God, being RICH IN MERCY, compassion, and love was made manifest in the person of Jesus Christ, 2000 years ago. He was born of a virgin, conceived by the Holy Spirit and He lived a perfect, sinless, and righteous life that we COULD NEVER live. We have all sinned. He did not sin once. As fully man, and fully God, Jesus Christ emptied Himself and took on the role of a servant to obey God perfectly and fulfill His will here on earth. Jesus was tempted in ALL areas, yet remained sinless. Our sinless and perfect Lord CHOSE to die on that cross, 

 No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.” (John 10:18)  

Jesus CHOSE to be crucified. He was nailed to that tree and BORE ALL OF OUR SINS, and He drank the cup of God’s wrath. He DRANK your hell. And on the third day, Jesus Christ rose from the grave by the power of the Spirit, defeating death & hell forever. Death could not hold Him, and now He is ALIVE. He died for you, so that you may live eternally with HIM. To be reconciled to HIM. Now, what must you do in order to be saved? You must REPENT, (turn from your sins; 180 degree turn from sin and run to Christ) confess your sins, humble yourself and TRUST ALONE in Christ. No good works wills save you. 

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Romans 5:8: God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 6:23: The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:32: He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

2 Corinthians 5:21: For our sake, he made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 8:9: You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake, He became poor so that you by His poverty might become rich.

1 Timothy 1:15: The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 John 4:10: In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Revelation 5:9: “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood, you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.”

I have now graduated high school after dropping out at a young age, I start college in the fall, I am now in the process of writing a book and working two jobs unto the glory of God! His saving grace is MIGHTY. 

God bless you all!

I’m alive, because He lives!

Gateway Drug | Part Three

Part One , Part Two , Part Four

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx X OC

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language

Tag list: @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @allieburakovsky @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl

**Let me know if you want to be tagged**

———————————————————————

“And Dirty Stripper Viv is back!” Vince exclaims as I stare at the ceiling over Tommy’s shoulder. 

“Tommy,” I start, catching his attention.

“Yeah?” He asks me as if nothing is wrong at all and I close my eyes briefly.

“You’re shirtless. I’m shirtless. There’s skin-to-skin contact and I don’t like it.” I say as calmly as I can and he frowns.

“I’m trying to defend your honor.” He tells me and I raise a brow.

“I’m naked, laying on a grungy floor, with an audience.” I point out. “I don’t have much honor left to defend at the moment so it doesn’t matter who sees me put clothes on.” I explain and he furrows his brows slightly before getting off of me.

I pull the dress on as fast as I can, ignoring Vince and Nikki’s prying eyes as Tommy still lingers between me and them, trying to block their view as best as he can until I’m clothed.

“Are you ready or not, man?” Nikki asks him with a sense of lost patience and I get Tommy to zip my dress as he answers:

“Gimme two minutes and I’ll be out.” He tells him, which causes Nikki to roll his eyes and turn to leave.

“What’s up with him?” Tommy asks Vince once Nikki’s out of earshot and Vince shrugs.

“Probably has blue-balls after that show Vivian gave us.” He suggests and I shoot daggers at him with my eyes as he steps closer, pulling a piece of lint off the bottom of my dress before looking me in the eyes. “Who can blame him though, right?”

“No.” Tommy and I say at the exact same time.

Tommy’s idea is that I’ll stay a virgin until I die.

My idea is that I don’t die a virgin, I just stay one until I’m married.

Vince grins like an idiot before looking me up and down, shaking his head a little.

“You keep clinging to the ‘Holy Child of God’ image all you want to, Viv. I give it a year before it wears off and you’re begging for one of us like a bitch in heat.” He states as if it’s a fact.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Vince.” I say dismissively, sitting down on the worn out couch to put my heels on. “As pretty as I think you or Devil-Spawn or any of these rock guys are, I have self-control. Which means I can acknowledge the idea of wanting to do something, but also recognize it’s a horrible idea, so I don’t do it. It has saved me a lot of trouble in my life and maybe, just maybe, if you had even the slightest amount of this magical self-control, I would be able to tolerate you more.” I get my heels on and stand, taller than his height by a few more inches.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Viv.” He replies smugly, giving me one last signature Vince Neil look before he steps out of the room.

Tommy pulls his boots on and stands up, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“I think we might sell out tickets tonight.” His excitement matches a puppy’s and I nod, agreeing with this prediction.

With the way they’ve been playing the past several weeks and the buzz going on, it won’t surprise me if they do sell out tonight.

“I know.” I feel his same giddiness, proud of his success so far.

“Drummer!” Mick’s distinct voice sounds from the other side of the door.

“Kiss your girlfriend bye and come the fuck on!” Nikki says next and I stare at Tommy, who shakes off their rushing with a shrug and gives me two thumbs up before opening the door.

I push past them, avoiding Vince’s wondering hands trying to grope me by sliding between Nikki and Mick with a quick “excuse me”, hearing the sound of Tommy smacking Vince’s hands away from me.

I hold back a chuckle at the sound and continue walking.

Once I join the crowd around the stage, I’m side by side with a blonde that shows particular interest in Vince once he starts singing “Take Me to the Top.”

I’m tempted to shove her off of him when he leans down, singing to her, merely inches from her face as her hand comes up to rest on his bicep.

“Swine.” I mouth to him, earning me a wink.

It doesn’t take long for his girlfriend to find her way to the front of the stage between me and the blonde he’s currently turning himself out to. With one swift shove from his girlfriend has the other one out of the way, becoming Vince’s focus point.

Before he goes in to the chorus, he gives her a brief kiss, causing other girls to scowl at her and I can’t help but laugh.

I try not to hate much of anything unless it’s blatantly disgusting. But groupies...I really, really, really, don’t tolerate very much.

Once the show is over, me and Vince’s girlfriend head backstage.

Tommy meets me eagerly, bouncing up and down, running to me full speed, like a buffalo.

I brace for impact, laughing when his hands capture my waist and he picks me up.

“We fuckin’ sold out!” He shouts cheerfully, gently shaking me.

“That’s awesome!” I exclaim as he hugs me, and I give Vince the benefit of the doubt, holding the palm of my hand out over Tommy’s shoulder for him.

“We fucking did that shit.” He says proudly, giving me a high-five with his other arm draped around his girlfriend.

“I say we celebrate.” Tommy states, putting me down but keeping his hand locked around mine. “Booze and chicks.” His afterthought matches Vince’s, but with Vince’s girlfriend beside him, he won’t admit it. “And you’re coming with us.” Tommy nudges me and I laugh, thinking he’s joking. “I’m being serious.”

“Tommy, I have a curfew and what not and—”

“You are eighteen fucking years old. You’ve been the perfect child for, like, your whole life. It’s time you flap your little wings and leave the fucking nest.” Tommy tells me and I hold back a smile.

“He’s right, Viv. If you don’t try to fly, you’ll leave us no other choice and we’ll just have to throw you out the damn thing.” Vince agrees with Tommy.

“My parents are the ones who’re supposed to throw me out of the nest when they’re ready.” I argue.

“We’re not talking about leaving your house. We’re talking about the little bubble you’ve been living in.” Vince informs me. “The ‘No Fucking Fun’ bubble.”

“I thought it was a nest?” I ask, confused.

“It can be whatever the fuck you want it to be.” Vince goes on. “Point is, we’re popping that bubble tonight.”

“Fuck yeah.” Tommy backs him up.

“We’re kicking you out of the fucking nest tonight.” Vince says next.

“We sure fucking are.” Tommy echoes.

“We’re popping your ‘No Fucking Fun’ cherry.” Vince only gets worse.

“Damn right.” Tommy nods and I try to think through this, not sure whether I should be mortified or laughing.

“See, the thing that happened sophomore year was foreplay, Viv. It is time to let your fucking freak-flag fly.” Vince doesn’t know when to shut up and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“My freak flag is as existent as your boundaries.” I speak up, noticing Mick and Nikki coming towards us, and I look at Tommy. “I love you,” I kiss his cheek quickly. “I’m gone.”

“Viv, come on!” Tommy calls after me as I head to the dressing room to change clothes.

I toss my heels to the side once I get through the door, stepping further in to the room. The door suddenly bursts open and shuts and I roll my eyes at the sight of the bass playing Devil-Spawn leaned against it, bottle of Jack Daniels in hand.

“What do you want?” I ask, pulling my curled hair in to a low ponytail, trying to pull the zipper from between my shoulder blades, to no avail.

“Get your fucking shoes back on,” he orders me and I raise my brows.

“Excuse me?”

“If you’re so prude that you won’t even be seen out in public with us then fine. But Tommy’s supposedly your best friend. Put your shit aside and act like it. He wants to have fun with his best friend. So get your damn shoes back on,” He slurs slightly, kicking my heels towards my feet. “And get your ass back out there and put your fuckin’ holier-than-thou morals aside, and stop pretending hanging out with us is like shoving a wasp nest up your p—”

“You’re drunk.” I hiss. “And chewing me out, for the umpteenth time this month.”

“And you’re a cunt. Scolding me for the umpteenth time this month.” He mocks me, taking a large gulp of Jack.

“I’m not scolding you. You can drink until your liver shuts down and your kidneys fail. Not my health. Not my problem.” I snap at him.

“That’s a very christianly way of thinking, Saint Vivian.” He argues. “And I’m not drunk. I’m tipsy.”

“Good then you’ll remember me telling you to kindly screw off.” I gather the clothes I wore here, deciding to change in my car. I step to the door, waiting patiently for him to move aside so I can open it and leave.

He steps away from the door knob, letting me open it, but his fist collides with the door just as soon as it opens ajar, shutting it again.

I feel his Jack-laced breath on the back of my neck and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to avoid turning around due to how close he is.

I relent, turning to push him away, but I stop myself. Hazel eyes dusted by strands of teased, black hair, lock with my green ones and I feel a lump in my throat forming.

I can’t seem to form words, and he notices, his ego getting a good rub down by my flustering.

My back sinks into the solid wood of the door when he moves closer to me, his nose brushing against my hair as his lips graze the shell of my ear. With an arrogant voice that could give Vince a run for his money, he whispers:

“Just making sure I can get under that holy-roller skin of yours whenever I want.” He says lowly and I snap out of my trance and push him away from me, causing him to chuckle as I scowl at him. “Your self-control needs a tad bit more practice.” He teases, and I realize Vince put him up to this. “But hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Even Eve took a bite out of the forbidden fruit after that snake made it look so good.” His tone is like smooth molasses as his eyes move from mine, down my body, and ho again. I swallow the lump in my throat.

“It was Satan. Not just some snake.” I say harshly, opening the door and slamming it shut.

I should have run after that night. I should’ve stopped being friends with Tommy. I was lying to myself by saying I was prepared for everything that was bound to happen. I had a feeling they would get a record deal, their careers would get bigger and they’d be 24/7 rockstars. Meaning tons of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll or, in my mother’s words, “a diseased ticket straight to Hell, a psychedelic ticket straight to Hell, and a loud ticket straight to Hell.”

I never drank a drop of alcohol since that incident at Vince’s pool party, never took drugs in my life, and once the band made it big, that’s all they did while being accompanied by beautiful women and song writing every now and then.

I was proud of myself for staying sober despite being surrounded by all kinds of opportunities to change that.

I didn’t realize people could be just as addictive, paralyzing, euphoric, and toxic, as any drug. I should have run that night, but I didn’t. And that sealed my fate. Little did I know my intuition would soon be drowned out by the Devil-Spawn and his many demons, enticing me with his never ending ways of sinful seduction.

Shall We Dance? - Ghost boy x Female Reader

This is my first story in english, since it’s not my first language. Any errors, please tell me.

This story is no romance related, since it’s about a family bond.

I hope you guys like it and enjoy

It was such a hot day at summer. (Your name) was at home, sitting on the living’s room sofa with her cousin older-brother like Mark lazily laying down with his head rested on her thighs, pretending to be asleep so she would let him “rest in piece”.

“Hey, your jerk!” She playfully provoked him, just like the way the two used to treat each other. She wasn’t paying too much attention on him, but she was almost sure he gave he a fast smirk so she couldn’t notice his misbehaving. Without any option remaining to get him off of her, the girl gave him a slap on his chest, for which he reacted by getting up out of her while massaging the area complaining it pained.

“It hurts!” He yelled, dramatically pretending the slap really would have hurt someone like him.

“It was your fault by not getting out of me, your idiot!” She answered, chuckling at his not so true mad expression.

“Now I really won’t be attending that ball you wanted so much”, he teased with a devilish smirk, for whom she answered by throwing her pillow at his face.

“Doing that won’t work you know?” Mark provoked again, even though he was saying those things, (Your name) knew it was only part of his game to make her laugh.

“I hate you, your little devil”. She pointed, crossing her arms in the breasts.

“What’s with that Darling, wasn’t you who used to call me your dreamy prince?” He charmingly alleged, making his younger cousin get even angrier with him.

“Don’t mess with me, idiot”. Even though Mark was on his 21 years old; his dead cousin right in front of him had 17, and since they used to live together since she was a baby, the two of them grew up by creating a strong brother-sister bond, and besides their light curses between them, it was clear for everyone around there that they deeply cared about each other

“Hey, (nickname)” he softly called her, and when Mark did it, it was most of time about any kind of way to hang out with her, since they were close enough to get the friends whom didn’t know about their relationship, teasing them by saying it was too much dates for them to handle.

And they get out to another “date” as usual. This time, Mark was using a black T-shirt over his tanned skin, along with white pants, a pair of grey shoes along with a sunglass even if they were supposed to walk through the Shopping.

Y/N, on the other side, was wearing a loosely red dress to turn that hot day into something warm, along with a pair of white sandals and a tied braided hair.

Despite that not being proposedly romantic, their hands were holding each other, and she secretly liked that, since she always felt like being protected by that wing-less angel.

After walking for a while, they came to the movie theater, where he bought their tickets for the movie (Your name) wanted to watch. It only had a problem: Due to the tickets getting sold out so fast, they were “forced” to buy the ones from the only session that wasn’t fully sold out: The last of the day that would start in three hours. And she didn’t felt bad, until the end of the movie that is.

When the movie finished its exhibition, the cousins ran as fast as they could, wishing to get the last bus of the night, but it was already gone when they reached the bus stop.

“Yeah darling, I think it’s time for us to get home by walking”. A shiver ran through her spine, get home by walking wasn’t all of a big deal, but the real problem was in fact the hour and how late they would get home safely, after all now it was something like 11 pm.

“Okay then” She answered, in a shy tone while they started the long walk.

Some time later, it was already one hour of their walking and they were already in her neighborhood, when a loud and sharp sound ripped the silence of the night.

“(Your name), if something happens, please run”. Although his tone was serious, there was a hint of apprehension in his voice.

By saying that, he took her roughly by her hand and started to walk in fast steps. The feeling of the atmosphere getting even heavier made (Your name) feel a mix of fear and anxiety.

Another shot’s sound. It was closer this time. Mark and (Your name) were about to enter the only quarter left for her to come home, when a group of four guys appear, surrounding them when she finally noticed they there holding some guns.

“Run away (Your name)”. Mark sharply asked while putting himself in front of her.

“Oh man, are you really going to take her away?” The guy with red t-shirt questioned. A feeling of bad intuition filled her body, could it be something was about to happen?

(Your name) didn’t want to left him alone there, specially because her beloved cousin was acting like a shield to protect her.

“Come on, let my friends and I have some fun with this hot girl”. The one with blue t-shirt seemed to be drunk while Mark stood his body against her to avoid any kind of visual contact.

“This asshole and his dear bitch won’t cooperate”. The taller of them said, apparently to be pissed off, pointing his gun to them.

A sadistic smile formed in his lips, when he shot, passing centimeters from Mark’s temple at the same time another shot, this time reached him, right on his right chest.

“RUN!” He yelled, hesitantly stopping to hold her hand for her completely despair. Figuring the dark and serious expression on his face, she started to run to the opposite direction while Marks began a fight by punch trying to distract then.

A feeling of adrenaline passed through (Your name)’s body, sweat started to drip through her cheek along with fear of hearing another shot.

The girl was about to enter her home’s street, when a shot along with a loud scream was heard. Her whole spine chilled with that sound and fear and terror mixed her. She was supposed to return there, and even thought about waiting right where she was now to wait for him. But he never did. And her nightmare begun.

Mark’s body was left right on thee middle of the street, with his chest completely full of shot marks. And even though those events were a horrible incident, the poor girl was filled with guilty and pain because of that, after all they only came home that late because she begged him for that movie she wanted to watch so much.

The months passed and that street created a point to left things in memory of him since he was known by everyone around that neighborhood.

(Your name)’s graduation’s ball wouldn’t be that funny and beautiful after all. Mark was supposed to be his pair and no one would be able to be on his place, that guy was simply irreplaceable and his cousin made sure of that by not attending the ball, but she did with the graduation.

The day after the ceremony, when it was supposed the ball to happen, (Your name) walked by that street in the dark of the night, with a bouquet of flowers to put right there. She kneeled down, with the tears already running by her face while placing the bouquet on the ground.

“I am sorry jerk”. She begged on a whisper. “It was all my fault”

(Your name)’s eyes were closed in a way that made she didn’t notice the shadow hovering behind her.

“Are you serious you are wasting your tears with me?” That playfully voice behind her made her body shiver violently, the girl didn’t even wanted to look.

“Hey (Your name), I am here. Stop crying please”. Mark softly asked, standing her up with his left arm. Tears were now running ever more, when he gave her a tight hug.

“Sorry for making my precious crybaby suffer so much”. She could hear the smirk on his face, but she didn’t care and gave back that hug, yet unbelieving he was right there in front of her.

“Why are you here?” She questioned him while feeling those big hands stroking her hair.

“Well…” Mark hesitated in a playfully tone. “As you may see my Darling, today is the day we were supposed to dance”. A large smile appeared on her face, it was impossible not to love someone so dumb and yet so caring and loving.

He took her by her hand in a delicate way, as if she was a petal of flower, and gently smiling he asked “Hey my darling, shall we dance?”

With the happiness and all the pain supposed to be away from her, she gladly took his hand at the same moment she heard Ed Sheeran’s Photograph loudly playing somewhere while they started to waltz by the rhythm of the song.

By the end of the song, Mark kindly whispered on her left ear “I will always love you my crybaby”, by doing that he softly made her let him go, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, disappearing by turning into grey fog saying along with Ed Sheeran’s last song line “Wait for me to come home”.

After that, she couldn’t help but think about all the wonderful things that happened between them. Her suffering lowered until completely disappear from her life.

Mark loved and cared about her. And nothing would EVER change that.

Unforgettable

Chris Evans x Reader x Sebastian Stan

Summary : Since forever, you have been in love with Chris. But once he and Jenny reunited, you were heart broken. It was suppose to be a celebratory party for your birthday, but seeing them together, hurt. So you asked your other best friend, Sebastian to distract you.

The party was a success. Your friend from high school decided to throw you a surprise birthday party, inviting all of your friends and family.

It was crazy how many people showed up. And to think back then, you believed you would never be this loved.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.” You said, hugging your best friend, Allison.

She flashed a smile and shrugged. “Well I might have had help from Sebastian and Chris.”

The two boys made their way over once they heard their name. Their lips curved into those perfect smiles you’ve grown to love.

“What about us?” Chris asked, throwing an arm over you and pulling you in.

“Just telling Y/N about how you two helped plan this party.”

Sebastian nodded, his brows furrowing. “I don’t think we had an option. It was either do it or die.” He teased.

You all belted out into laughter. Feeling Chris’ body against yours, created your heart to pound profusely. And watching the way he laughed, was by far your favorite thing to see.

He was everything you ever wanted. He was tall, funny, extremely intelligent, and had a big heart. Chris was your best friend for years, and all those years you two had been close at the hip.

“Babe! You have to try this shit!” Jenny exclaimed, tugging on her boyfriends hand. Her voice made your stomach churn. In a way that you began to feel nauseas.

“Happy birthday, beautiful.” He said with a cheeky grin. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

And with that, he let you go and followed his girlfriend to the bar. His hand on her hips while she rested against him.

It hurt just to watch them. It felt as if someone had stomped on your heart.

Sebastian cleared his throat, catching your attention. He knew how you felt about Chris. And seeing you in pain because of him, was hard.

You turned to face him and let out a sigh. “Distract me. Please?”

He glanced around for a moment, thinking to himself, before flashing a soft smirk and taking your hand. He saw the lake outside and came up with an idea.

“Come on, lets get out of here.” He muttered.

You followed him in pursuit, still grasping onto his hand.

As you both made your way out to the dock and away from the party, it was then you stopped running and let go of each other.

“Where are we going?” You chuckled.

Sebastian motioned to the boat. “I’m distracting you.” He said. “Come on, don’t you trust me?”

You were hesitant at first. Not because you didn’t trust him, but because you didn’t want to let anyone down for bailing on your own party.

But looking back, you knew you couldn’t stand to see Chris and Jenny any longer.

“This sounds like a bad horror movie—“ you chuckled. “But What the Hell.”

Sebastian helped you onto the boat and started rowing away into the middle of the lake. You both went on about what would happen if it were a horror movie and how your deaths would play out.

It was beyond hilarious to hear his theories and what he would do if something were to happen. And even though it was dark, and gloomy out, he somehow made you feel safe.

“Jason is seriously going to flip this boat and murder us.” You cackled. “Or his mom will. One way or the other.”

“Mm I’m sure if they were attacking you, I’d have time to swim away and save myself.”

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth dropped into an ‘O’ shape. “Wow!” You exclaimed. “Such a gentleman!”

Sebastian was a giggling mess, tilting his head back and belting out into laughter. “I’m kidding!” He said, trying to even his breathing. “No I’m kidding, you know I would do whatever I had to, to keep you safe.”

Your stomach fluttered from his words, something you haven’t felt before with him.

“So I got you something—“ he said with a soft smile. “For your birthday.”

“What? You didn’t have to get me anything!” You muttered.

He shrugged and nodded, pulling out a small snow globe out of his pocket and handed it to you.

As your eyes scanned it over, you felt the tears begin to well. Mickey and Minnie were kissing in front of the castle just like the one you used to have but broke so long ago.

“Oh my god!” You exhaled, trying not to cry.

“Yea, I remember you talking about the one you used to have and how much you loved it.” He said.

“I can’t believe you remembered! That was like four years ago.”

He shrugged, holding his gaze with yours. And in that moment, something sparked inside of you. Almost like you were waking up from a deep sleep.

The way he looked at you was more than just a friendly way. He gazed at you with love in his eyes and you were beginning to fall.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

You were slowly leaning in closer to Sebastian, both your hearts pounding.

Chris made his way out of the hall, looking for you. His hands deep in his front pockets glancing around. Until his eyes fell on you.

There you were, close to his best friend, looking lost in one another. It for some reason created jealousy to course through him.

Watching you two, annoyed him, and he didn’t want to watch it any longer.

“Hey! There you are!” He called out, catching both yours and Sebastian’s attention.

You pulled yourself away from him and waved at Chris. A smile forming on your lips.

“Get over here! I have to show you something.” He exclaimed.

“Coming!” You yelled back.

Glancing back at Sebastian, you only smiled. He knew you were in love with Chris and even though he hoped you would feel the same way he did, he respected your feelings.

“Better get you back.” He said.

Rowing you both back to the dock, it was silent. You were admiring the snow globe in your hand.

It didn’t take too long for you both to get back. And when you did, chris was there waiting for you.

“Come on birthday girl, you can’t ditch your own party.” He teased.

“Yea, sorry I just needed some fresh air.” You said looking back at Sebastian. Who smirked at you.

Chris could feel the tension between you two and felt that pain once again. He cleared his throat and pressed his hand against the small of your back.

“Hey I have a surprise for you.” Chris muttered.

Without a word, you followed Chris toward the parking lot, leaving Sebastian to watch you walk away. His heart feeling heavy. It hurt him to watch you leave, especially with the guy he knew you were in love with.

He let out a sigh and started back to the party. Trying to let it all go.

It was weird, a part of you didn’t want to leave him, while the other part was happy to be alone with Chris.

Everything seemed so confusing, and you weren’t sure what to think about the feelings you had for Sebastian. You didn’t even know what you should do.

Chris had his hand in yours, walking beside you to his car.

“The party turned out amazing.” He chuckled. “Too bad you were trying to escape.”

“I wasn’t trying to escape. Just needed—“

“Fresh air.”

“Exactly.” You said.

He swallowed hard knowing he wasn’t ready for the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he needed to know.

“So you and Sebastian? Are you two like a thing now or?”

“What?” You asked, taken aback. “No we’re just friends.”

Chris couldn’t help but smile, feeling a bit at ease.

“Oh okay.” He said. “Anyways um—I have a surprise for you. It’s nothing big but I may have scored some tickets to Beauty And The Beast on Broadway.”

Your eyes lit up, as you stopped in your steps. “You’re joking right? Because those have been sold out for weeks now!”

He shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. “I know. I’m just that great.”

Once you made your way to his car, he opened the passenger door, and pulled the tickets out of the glove compartment.

You were smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, gazing at the tickets.

“This is amazing.” You whispered. “Thank you so much!”

You pulled him in for a hug, feeling his body against yours. The warmth it surrounded you.

And with all of the different emotions, you did something you had only dreamed of doing. You propped up on to your tip toes and crashed your lips to his.

It didn’t take long for Chris to motion back. His hands cupped your face and pulled you in as close as he could.

You could feel the kiss down to your toes, causing chills to cover you completely. In that moment, it had felt like everyone disappeared and it was just the two of you.

That was until the sound of a car horn tore you both apart.

It was your aunt getting something from her car across the way. Not once did she even look at you, maybe she hadn’t seen you? Once she made her way back, you and Chris stared at one another, your heart beating so fast, it felt as if it could jump out of your chest.

“Sorry I just got caught up in the moment and—“ you shook your head, remembering Jenny and feeling completely horrible for that kiss. “I should go.”

“Y/N—“

“Thanks for the tickets Chris. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

And with that, you made your way back inside, not once looking back at him. And though the kiss felt amazing, you were filled with guilt.

Your eyes fell on Sebastian’s silhouette and you strode right over to him. “Hey, missed me?” You asked.

He flashed a smirk once he turned to you. Noticing you were alone, and not with Chris. “Definitely.” He said, pulling out the chair next to him. “It isn’t the same without you.”

Chris walked in, in hopes to find you in the crowded hall. It wasn’t until a few minutes when he saw you sitting beside Sebastian, laughing with him, and whispering to each other. Looking happier than you ever have before.

And right then was when he realized he was too late.

-

Chapter Two

Tough Love Ahead: that’s not how any of this works

I’m sitting in my bathrobe. I’m on my third cup of coffee. Most of it has made it to my mouth, but the first sip of the second cup found its way to my bathrobe. The dog is asleep on the couch and I have a load of wash going. There are no sunbeams washing across the kitchen floor, but there is an ice cream bowl in the sink that I was too lazy to wash last night.

I’m sitting here doing what I don’t normally do, namely, watching video of people trying really hard to convince other people that they have the answers to all the problems, from relationships to business to sales to marketing. I watched a total of about 20 minutes before I felt brain cells dying and turned it all off.

And after watching for a short time, I feel itchy. Kind of like I want to jump out of my skin. This sort of thing gives me the same side effects as washing down a couple pseudoephedrine and then drinking half a pot of coffee. It’s a horrible feeling. If I was a spy, all you would need to do to get me to talk is to force me to watch this sort of stuff. I’d be giving up all my secrets within the hour.

These experts both amuse and baffle me. If you combined their ages, I doubt they’d make it to 70. I have underwear older than their “businesses.” But they are pretty. Oh yes, they are. (The experts, that is. Not my underwear. Unless you think cotton Fruit of the Looms are pretty. I don’t think they are, but they get the job done. They don’t scratch and they don’t ride up into places they aren’t supposed to be. Yeah, you can keep your Victoria’s Secret piece of 3” lace disguised as underwear; I’m holding fast to my Fruit of the Looms.)

And as I watch these folks, attaching their names to recycled quotes and promising success without hard work, I wonder if it’s too early for vodka. I wonder that a lot in today’s world, actually.

One guy wants to be in the movies really bad, when he’s not teaching you how to be successful in business. He has a video of himself with his movie script in his hand. He has a one-man show. (Insert obvious joke here)

One gal, in spite of being a “visibility strategist, coach and consultant,” helping “hundreds of small businesses” become profitable has only ever worked out of her home. She’s excited about her new rented office space, you know, ‘cause she’s never had one, despite “working with hundreds of women internationally to help them build their businesses.” She gave viewers a behind the scenes look at her desk and her chair. She wants women to stop crying in their car.

Two other gals started the FAQ question of their professional marketing website with an “LOL.”

And after watching these, I wish I could take the people who buy into this and sit them down on the couch with a piece of pie and a cup of coffee and have a heart to heart-a come to Jesus moment. (Of course, I would change out of my coffee-stained bathrobe and into a clean bathrobe. Please. I am nothing if not a professional.)

See, folks, like many of you, I have been in business for a long time—all my adult life. I haven’t hopped from business to business like a bee in a field of flowers. Nope, one business to this day. And I know this stuff sounds good as you sit at home in a dirty bathrobe with dishes in your sink. It sounds wonderful when you are frustrated and just had a no good, awful day.

The thought that you can have it all and be successful with minimal work and not miss out on anything in life is such an attractive thought, isn’t it. (True story: I watched a photographer who is no longer really working as a photographer give a presentation saying she worked, like, 3 days a week from 11am to 1pm and was wildly successful doing so. Yeah…and I’ve got monkeys flying out of my butt.)

People, the truth is what the truth has always been: you have to work hard at whatever it is you do to be successful.

And dadgummit…you WILL cry. You will sit in your car or at your desk or hidden away in the bathroom so the kids don’t see and you will cry. Men and women alike. A penis does not make you immune to tears of frustration.

THIS IS NORMAL.

And really, it won’t go away. Not if you care. I have a successful business and still cry when I encounter days when everything has gone so spectacularly wrong you could sell tickets.

Folks, I have come to the conclusion that 89.3% of those trying to teach you how to be successful haven’t really attained it themselves. They know a couple things about a couple things and are now an “expert.” They read some books and regurgitated some info, and slapped a logo on it and have it all on sale for a limited time only. (Note: “The sale has been extended” is code for “We haven’t sold enough, yet. Just fyi.)

THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS, KAREN!

So while I would never presume to tell someone what to do with their life, might I make a suggestion? When you see these videos and sponsored ads make their way into your life, just shut ‘em down. Go for a walk. Watch a kitten video. Find someone you KNOW has a successful business (of any kind) and study them, instead.

Close your wallet and open your mind.

And remember that “likes” and “followers” can be purchased. Remember that no one is vetted anymore. Remember that anyone can be “successful” on that thing called social media. Remember that success does not come without hard work.

And if it feels like hard work, then, good….you’re doing it right. xoxo

A/N: I wonder where the inspiration for that one came from… have fun with this silly little thing!

Words: 1233 Warnings: fluff

“Welcome to London!” You grinned, approaching the brothers as the mist of the Bifrost magic slowly faded away and left behind two Asgardian princes—and, your best friends.

Ever since you had returned to England, Thor and especially Loki had promised to come and visit you at some point to explore the city and catch up.

When the aftermath of the shocks the Infinity War had caused now died down, peace finally spread across the realms again. For weeks, you had been dreading the worst, unable to sleep and worried that only one brother or even worse, none of them would return to hug you again.

But here they were now, both of them safe and sound and more cheerful than ever. Loki smiled when you pulled him into a hug, knowing that he didn’t receive enough of them. Your gaze lingered on him curiously a little longer than necessary before you embraced Thor as well and waved them inside your tiny flat in Central London.

“How are you guys doing? And the others? Are you all recovering?”

Thor nodded sternly. “Recovering from the losses and celebrating the victory.” He replied, patting his brother on the shoulder. He had only told you after Loki had come back that he had faked his death again—Thor knew that you would not have been able to cope with such an atrocious message.

“How long will you be here for?”

“We are yours for the entire weekend, dear.” Loki said with a smirk. His blue eyes bore into yours like tiny little daggers, sending pleasant shivers up and down your spine. You wondered if Thor had finally caught up on the fact there was more than just friendship between Loki and you. Neither of you had properly acted on it yet, apart from a shy kiss before Thanos had almost erased half of the universe.

“Then we shouldn’t waste any time, there is lots to see!” You said with a wink. “I’ll make us a cup of tea and then we’ll get going. Oh, by the way, here’s your travel cards. Don’t lose them, you’ll need them for the tube!”

You dropped the two tickets on the kitchen table before heading over to the counter to prepare some tea. Loki’s confused frown made you chuckle.

“We will be using the what? The tube?”

“It’s the public transport system here in London. You will love it.” Thor responded with a mocking grin, remembering how he had ended up at Charing Cross station when fighting Malekith a few years ago.

Loki hated it. There were too many people, it was too hot and the fact he was moving around underground made him, the God of Mischief, nervous. Reassuringly, you reached for his hand as the next station—Oxford Circus, your stop—was finally announced.

The Trickster was about to seriously injure the older man next to him who kept bumping into his side whenever the train took turns.

To be honest, even in casual clothes, Thor and Loki both looked completely out of place here. There was no denying that especially to Loki, travelling around like this was beneath his dignity. Perhaps you should take the bus next time.

His murderous glare made you giggle when you finally reached your destination and quickly left the station. Neither of the brothers even moved when the train came to a halt and sent a few passengers lurching like drunks.

“This was horrible,” Loki complained when you finally stepped into the surprisingly warm sunlight and found yourself in the middle of a busy street, with dozens of shops and blinking ads around you.

Thor rubbed his hands together. You could already see him buying all kinds of souvenirs.

“What about this one? Colourful London!” Loki rolled his eyes. You could tell that he liked the foreign place, for his blue eyes were darting around curiously, still, Thor’s enthusiasm didn’t quite infect him yet.

“Come on, Trickster. I got the feeling you’ll like this.”

Smiling tenderly, you dragged him with you and followed Thor into the massive souvenir shop on the other side of the street. The God of Thunder was trying on a cheesy “I <3 London” t-shirt when you entered, encouraged by the seller who handed him more and more variations of the cosy souvenir.

There was a hidden corner in the store where they sold pretty padlocks. Crossing the Westminster Bridge was on your To Do list for your sightseeing tour with the Asgardian brothers and you had just the right idea for your trip there later that day.

“Which one?” You asked, pointing at the colourful padlocks.

“The green one,” Loki said without hesitation. “What are they for?”

Grinning, you took it and marched towards the till to pay.

“You’ll see.”

The rest of the day was both exhausting and exciting. You introduced Thor and Loki to the pub culture, the traditional food (they both loved Fish and Chips) and the most interesting aspects of the city. Tomorrow, you would bring them to the London Dungeon—you had a funny feeling that they would enjoy that.

Last stop, right before you would end your tour with Sky Garden and a few delicious cocktails high up in the air, was Westminster.

Loki took a deep breath as he stared up at the massive Elizabeth Tower, heart and most typical characteristic of London. He was fascinated by the architecture and you had promised him to show him Shakespeare’s Globe tomorrow—he loved Midgardian literature as long as you enjoyed reading it too.

Grinning mischievously, you took the padlock you had purchased from your pocket and removed the packaging. Thor was already ahead again, enthusiastically crossing the bridge right towards another souvenir shop.

“This padlock is a promise.” You began calmly. “That I’ll always be with you, support you and trust you. I’ve never done this before, it’s… special.”

Loki’s lips parted. He tore his gaze away from the beautiful scenery offering itself up to his mesmerising blue eyes, looking at the green lock in your hands with such softness you feared your legs would cease to support you any longer.

“I love you, Loki. So much. And I was afraid that I might never get to tell you.” Never before had you seen him speechless. When you put the padlock on one of the pillars already full of other people’s metaphorical confessions of love, you handed him one of the two keys.

“I love you too.” He finally mumbled almost coyly—as if the tender words would harm his heart if he said them too loud.

Your heart was pounding fast when you both threw the keys of the lock into the Thames and watched how they disappeared in the brownish water.

It was then Loki smirked genuinely and leaned forward, kissing you gently and carefully, almost as if he feared he’d break you. Holding your chin with two fingers, his eyes closed as he moved his mouth against yours, eliciting a soft sigh from you.

“Hey (Y/N), can you actually go swimming in the Tham—is there something you two would like to tell me?” Thor’s mighty voice roared playfully.

Loki only rolled his eyes when he pulled away from you.

“No, brother, there is not.” In other words, he would have to spend the rest of the night telling him how Loki and you had become a couple.

 A/N: Guys, you can help me publish my first novel! It’s easy, it’s anonymous, you can do it from all over the world and it’s just 3€! Your help counts too, I’d appreciate it so much if you helped me fulfil my dream! ♥ ko-fi.com/sserpente