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chelscait · 11 months

Text

lack of love. | Alessia Russo

category: angst.

summary: where you won’t let yourself give in to the feeling of love and being loved.

word count: 6.7k.

You didn't like this feeling. This was something you had been so afraid of your entire life, afraid that it was going to end, afraid you were going to find yourself nowhere and left alone.

Since childhood you had always been closed off, terrified to reveal any feelings and become vulnerable. Your father told you not to be weak, don't cry, it was pathetic. You don't need help, your overthinking. Don't be stupid.

Those lies stayed with you your whole life, even though your father is not around anymore to emphasise those feelings, your mind thought anything else to be too abstract. You don't need to care for anyone else, just yourself.

Don't let people see your scarred side, your fragile side. Be tough.

Football had always been an escape, a way to prove to your father that you were his perfect model. You were taking his advice too literal, his verbal abuse led to physical abuse which influenced your playing style. You were rough and hard, you took a hefty tackle and got up straight away, returning it with more force.

You were not sure how many red cards and enemies you were given and made, but your career worked out and you were one of the best. That's one thing you can thank your father for.

When he died, you were numb. You didn't know what to feel. Relief or grief?

Your mother wasn't around much, she'd check in from time to time but you knew she didn't care. She had a new family, you knew that. That's all she posted on her social media, like it was only for you to see, which made it feel personal.

You didn't waste much time restarting your life, you wanted something new and fresh and decided to move on, away from your previous life.

You had decided to move to England after the red side of Manchester contacted your agent, they used the argument that they needed strength and body in their team. They needed protection and succession, and they thought you may be the key.

You thought your life wasn't going to change that much, you were still going to be the same Y/N with the same past and future ahead of you. Until you laid your eyes on her.

Alessia was the complete opposite to you, she was bubbly and clumsy and radiated a loving aura. You would never think to take such a liking to such character but you did. Not to say you were obsessed, but you were intrigued.

The team had known about you and your upcoming arrival to the club, which meant they knew your antics and your image. So, when you turned up to your first training session, let's say, you didn't get that much attention, thankfully.

Although there was one that couldn't wait to meet you, Alessia, which you just thought was a part of her welcoming exterior.

"Hi. I'm Alessia, welcome to Manchester. It's so lovely to finally meet you!" She held her hand out kindly and you just stared at her with an unfamiliar face, you noticed her start to shift uncomfortably under your stare and you instantly reached your hand out to hers. You didn't like that look.

The difference between your hands radiated the contrast between you both, hers looked smooth and tanned while yours were rough and scarred, your gaze was focused a little too long to recognise that your grip had gotten a little tight and she tugged her hand out of your hold but she kept her smile.

You immediately felt safe in her presence and wanted to do everything in your control to protect her, and you will protect her.

"Thank you." You whispered to her back shyly, her expression shifted but quickly returned. She didn't expect you to speak the way you do, the lack of confidence from yourself surprised her. Her arms were fidgeting at her side and she allowed herself to reach up and give a quick squeeze to your shoulder before walking away.

You had never felt this way about a person before, you were scared. Was this a good idea?

You remained discreet around your teammates, as usual as any team, they were loud and you weren't quite there yet. You felt tranquil around them though, even if you just watched them. You didn't feel like this in your last team.

However, outside on the pitch with a ball at your feet allowed you to join in in some sense, making it known that you didn't feel left out. You liked it here.

You and Alessia didn't speak much, but to you she was the closest you were to anyone. She'd share warm smiles when you walked into the changing room and quick hellos when you passed each other in the hallways, which made her the one you wanted most.

It was the Manchester derby that revealed your so called feelings for her. You were expecting the game to be rough but you didn't think it would be the game where you revealed your true colours.

Both sides weren't giving up in the grand Etihad stadium, Man City wanted to win for their supporters and had the home advantage, making them try every single move possible.

Man United, however, were not going to give them the title of Manchester and were not going to give up that easily. Not when you were in defence.

The first half was simply red, Leah having scored in the 27th minute from an assist from Ella. You watched from your half as the team celebrated, giving a little fist bump from your position.

You kept your eye on Alessia as she returned to her position to restart, you had noticed a fair few defenders target her as she got closer to goal. You didn't like that, every single time you saw her fall to the floor, it added a build up of anger inside you. You were afraid you just might snap.

It was the start of the second half when you saw your teams colour, red. You had dribbled with the ball yourself into city's half and planned to give a ball in, which you did. You hadn't planned it to reach the blonde, but it did and she planted it perfectly at her feet ready to shoot.

You had admired her ball control for a second before she was tackled harshly to the ground, you heart plummeted and your mind went static.

You had saw the tackle first hand and you knew it deserved a punishment, the added con of Alessia rolling on the floor holding her ankle made you rush in the direction of the defender.

She saw you come over but she didn't back away, everyone seemed to know about your football history, most likely the altercations you had gotten into before but it didn't look like she did.

She had looked arrogant the moment you saw her in the tunnel, you mean you think that about anyone but you didn't like her look. You now didn't like her at all.

"Hey!" You shouted at her and she turned her gaze to you, not able to reply before being pushed to the ground. That's when her face changed, for good.

She tried to crawl back but you followed her, rolling up the sleeves of your under layer as far as you could and pulling her back up by her collar.

You could here a lot of noise around you but you blocked it out, wanting to witness every single detail you were emitting from the girl under your hands.

"You ever and i mean ever! Hurt her again like that, i will break your own legs and make sure you never play again. Is that clear?"

The defender wriggled under your hold, desperately wanting to escape after your threatening.

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident.."

"I said is that clear?!" You tugged her shirt back closer to you and got closer into her face.

"It's clear, okay. I'm sorry, please..." She had moved her head to the side after that and you released her when you felt your shoulders being tugged back, pushing her back down to the floor. Making sure it hurt.

"Get off me." You chucked whoever was on your back off and walked away, not before being whistled at by the ref who remorselessly lifted the bright red card in your direction.

"I need you to get off the pitch now, it will be decided how many games you'll have to miss but looking at the state of you it will be a fair few."

Your face remained blank as you stared at her hard face as she wrote your name and number on the back of the card.

"Off. The. Pitch." She looked up as she saw you make no move, placing her hand on your back and pushing you towards the sidelines.

Sauntering back, you could see the unimpressed look on Marc Skinner's face as he crossed his arms and decided to look back onto the pitch to see if Alessia was okay.

You could see she was up, which was a good sign but you could see her distressed expression. She looked stoic, and you were the cause of that.

That made your impression cease, a small frown making itself at home on your face. Now you were stuck.

You couldn't bear to watch the rest of the match, to be honest you couldn't care.

You knew your team was disappointed, disappointed they lost a key player over something she could have stopped herself over, but that's you. They knew what they were signing up for.

You had decided to busy yourself in the changing room, indulging in a long, lonely shower and staying away from all social media. You also knew that you probably were going to get a lot of hate tonight, like usual.

You were in front of the bathroom mirrors when you saw her. You froze in place while you were putting your hair up, staring at her anxiously in the mirror.

She froze too, only for a second after catching your eye and trailed to the stall furthest from you.

You sighed at the distance, you've messed up but you were conflicted. You did it for her, did she not appreciate that? You were protecting her, the first thing you promised yourself you'd do when you met her, but it completely backfired.

Your thoughts were cut off when you heard the stall door open again, looking to your left. She sighed once she noticed you were still there and hesitantly placed herself next to you at the sink.

"Ales-"

"Why did you do that?" She scolded you as she was scrubbing at her hands, you looked down to see her rubbing harshly.

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't ask for an apology, Y/N. I asked why did you do it?"

You could hear her voice tremble as she slammed the tap shut, finally looking at you. The innocence in her eyes made you feel guilty, you hadn't wanted her to become exposed to you. Not like this.

"I don't know.”

"Bullshit. Just tell me."

"Alessia, it's just something i do. I can't get rid of the feelings and the anger inside me, okay?"

"But i know you wouldn't do that in protection of your teammates, usually you only do it to protect yourself."

You furrowed your eyebrows at the precise knowledge that she somehow knew, her eyes widen as she revealed herself to you.

She did know you. Better than you knew her and somehow you thought you had one side feelings.

"I don't know Alessia, seems you already know the answer."

Her face softens as she stares at the side of your face, she makes out the beauty behind your facade. She wanted to touch you, she's always felt this way but too afraid of the limitless reaction you'd give.

"Y/N..."

"Why do you think i did it?" Your face returned blank and emotionless as you looked at Alessia the same way you'd look at anyone.

Alessia always felt special whenever you looked at her the way you did, she felt safe. Now, she's terrified that she's now ruined that.

"Erm.."

"I did it because this team is nothing like what i am used to, i like it here and i'd do anything to protect anyone." You told her a massive lie, protecting anyone isn't on your agenda. Just her.

Your father wouldn't like what he's seeing right now, not just the fact that your interested in a girl, but the way your allowing your feelings to take over.

You watched Alessia's face fall and recover, nodding slightly as she swallowed. She kind of hoped for you to tell her you liked her, that she was the one. She knew it was too soon and fast but there was something intriguing about you. She wanted more.

You weren't one to think that Alessia was troubled too, she was just too good at hiding it.

Marc had signed you detention with the team therapist for your 'anger management' issues. To say they weren't helping was a lie, but you'd never admit to it.

The therapist had accidentally let slip that she saw Alessia often, which wasn't too good on her behalf due to confidentiality but you swore secrecy.

Besides, you had mentioned the blonde a few times in your sessions.

The slip up made you look at Alessia again in a new light, now noticing every slim chance of discomfort that racks through her expression. Now, you felt even more protective.

You and Alessia stayed mostly away from each other throughout the rest of the season but there was no hostility, interacting in small conversations when others were around and stealing glances across the pitches and changing rooms.

You finally came out of your shell a bit and started to join in a lot more with conversations, the team welcoming and encouraging you with open arms.

The last game of the season all came down to the title, Chelsea having lost their last game and Alessia winning Man united's with a last minute goal allowed the reds their first WSL trophy.

You didn't exactly know what to feel as this was your first season, but Alessia had been waiting and wanting this for ages.

You were the first one she came over to after the game, scooping you up so tightly in her arms. You froze as she did so, arms still at your sides until she buried her face deeper into your neck to where you could feel the wetness of her cheeks.

You allowed yourself to let go that one time, wrapping your arms around her waist and burying your face in her hair.

It felt comfortable and it felt right. You couldn't help yourself but to squeeze tighter and smile in her hair.

She let go of you slowly, her face scarily close to yours and her eyes wandered to your lips for a hot second. You cut off the gaze by turning your head to the side and losing all physical contact, you didn't want her to get mixed up in your mess, too scared to hurt her even more than what she supposedly has already.

"Congratulations, Alessia. You deserve it." You turned mute after that, stepping off to the side towards the physio to ask for some treatment.

She didn't get the chance to congratulate you too, you were the one to give her the assist after all. The same as every single goal she scored this season.

After the trophy lifting, the team found themselves dancing away in the changing room with loud music blaring. You didn't join in though, preferring to sit and watch.

"Are you coming out with us tonight, Y/N?" Ella Toone, Alessia's best friend, excitably asked you as she plonked down next to you.

"Here, have one of these." She bent over towards the box of beers, clambering one out of its shell and offering it in your direction.

"I don't like beer." You urged her to put the drink back, shaking your head in disgust.

"Oh, come on! We just won the league, surely you can try just one!"

The look of the bottle made you feel sick, the malty alcohol isn't an enjoyable thing for you, as you had to open them one by one for your father when you were barely a teenager.

It didn't help to the fact that Ella was pushing it in your face, the troubled look you were clearly showing wasn't telling her no and you panicked, snatching it off her and chucking it to the ground.

The smashing sound made the whole room jump and turn silent, you looked around to see worry etched on their faces and Ella curled up into the cubby next to you with her eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

You didn't notice that you'd aimed it right in front of her, noticing the glass very close to where her only socked covered feet were.

This exact moment you felt vulnerable and you had no way to hide it except to run, which is what you did. Succumbing to the wall in an empty hallway, with only yourself and your thoughts.

"Ella? What did you do?" Alessia had made her way over to the shocked Mancunian, bending down to pick up some of the pieces of glass.

"All i did was offer her a drink and she smashed it out my hand, i literally didn't say anything!" Alessia sighed as she stood up with a hand full of glass, making her way to the bin and back.

"Ella, you have to stop being so oblivious to people's feelings. It was obvious she didn't want the drink, you have to respect people's choices. You never know."

Ella looked confused to the fact that her best friend was 'telling her off', raising an eyebrow as she watched her then hurry off to find you.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alessia had found you hunched up against a blank wall, staring at the ground.

You didn't bother looking up, nodding slightly to answer her question and pursing your lips.

"I'm sorry about Ella, she doesn't know when to stop."

You felt her presence get closer to you and she slid down the wall to sit next to you, busying herself by playing with her socks.

"You know, if you ever want to talk about anything.. I'm always he-"

"Alessia, i don't need your pity. I am fine." You grumbled as you leant your chin on your bruised knee, not making any move to look at her.

"I care about you." She whispered, letting her heart break her minds control, before quickly recovering. "I care about all of you, i want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine." You stood up and moved away from her, but stayed still in your spot like you were waiting for her.

She eagerly stood up to face you, but your eyes didn't connect with hers and without realising she took your cheek in her hand to make you notice her.

The warm hand on your cold cheek made you flinch, herself returning her hand up to her chest and rubbing her neck.

"Why are you so nice to me? I mean, have you seen the things i've done? I'm not a good person."

"Well, to me you are. You've been nothing but nice."

Your face scrunched up at her comment, shaking your head vigorously.

"Y/N.." She reached out for your hand as you began to tremble, you weren't used to this and you didn't deserve it.

"Don't. Just don't." You pushed yourself away from her and scrambled back to the changing room.

The look Alessia gave you was haunting your mind, you didn't need to transfer your problems to her. You didn't need to be added to her plate.

You had decided to still go out that night, wanting to rekindle any kind of mishap that you'd caused earlier on. You had apologised to Ella when you first saw her, herself brushing it off with a small embrace, too tipsy to even remember what you were talking about.

The girls had ordered a whole tray of shots to the table, you differed whether or not to give in to the small amounts of clear liquid, but when you saw there was one left you didn't think twice at everyone's gaze on you.

The neat shot you took in one gulp, without flinching, made the whole team go crazy, making you let out an unknown giggle as you placed the tiny glass back down.

"Another? Shall we get more?" You heard Millie Turner shout towards you from her place opposite you, the big smile on her face encouraging you to say yes.

Guess it was too late now.

"Okay."

You let her swing her arm around your shoulders and guide you towards the bar, knocking her hand out the way when she went to pay, placing your card on top of the machine first. Your doing made her shove your shoulder, knocking into someone next to you.

"Sorry."

You turned to see Alessia with her newly made drink, removing one of her hands to rub your arm.

"It's okay."

She gave you a suggestive look before turning back round to Mary, the slight glint in her eyes absorbed your mind, bringing a hint of blush to your cheeks.

Your scene was cut short when you heard Millie cough to get your attention, passing you a shot glass before swigging back hers. You followed along, slamming it back down on the table once you were done.

You let yourself flow free through the night, not thinking once about anything but the enjoyment encasing your body.

You let Millie drag you, along with a few of the other girls, to the dance floor where they showed no shame, making you feel comfortable to let loose.

You don't think you have laughed that much in one night, too much to the point that there were tears poking at the corner of your eyes.

The alcohol kept flowing and jokes were kept made but you suddenly had all your focus on the blonde.

You made it obvious that you were staring, she looked absolutely breathtaking. Per usual.

Her hair looked gorgeously silky, like she hadn't been dancing around for the past hour, and her lips looked inviting.

Your daydreaming made you bite your lip and pull your gaze away from her, knowing it was wrong to be thinking like this.

She had caught you, pretty much, eye fucking her and decided to make her move. Wanting this just as much.

She got up, adjusting her skirt obviously to catch your eye and started her path towards her destination, looking behind her straight to your view.

You knew the look meant 'follow me' and you eagerly rounded the table to follow her, catching up to her but stayed behind.

She reached behind her to allocate your hand, yourself gingerly slotting your own into her hold. Her grip tightened as she felt your skin on hers and pulled you round in front of her when she got to a quiet corner, slamming her lips onto yours.

The forced act made you elicit an unexpected moan into her mouth, laying your hand on her cheek gently to relax her craze.

She let you take control, pressing yourself more into her body resting her against the wall. The kiss was feverish, both too tipsy to realise what was happening in your own ways.

She let out noises you've always wanted to hear when you roamed your hands around her body, you could feel her shift underneath you as you trailed your way down her jaw towards her neck.

"Y/N..."

Her flawlessly manicured hands buried themselves in your hair, tugging when your tongue found her most sensitive spot.

She tugged again, harder as she tried to conceal her moans. You disconnected from her body and licked you lips as your eyes flickered from hers to her lips.

"Shall we.. go back to yours?" You asked tentatively, your fingers placed around both sides of her neck, fiddling with the ends of her hair.

Alessia, shocked, nodded and grabbed your hand again, tugging you towards the exit of the club.

Safe to say, that was one of the best nights you've ever let yourself have.

You woke up the next morning in the unfamiliar room, the brief morning light blinding you through the gaps of the curtains. You rubbed your eyes when you were regaining your conscience, the slight blur fading out to find a slacked arm draped over your stomach.

"Oh shit." You whispered to yourself as your accusation was confirmed, finding a sprawled out head of blonde hair nestled beside you, along with no clothes on. No clothes on either of you.

You rubbed your hands across your face hoping this was all just a dream, stopping to think for a second on what was to come next.

Reaching over to grab your phone that was sat uncharged on her perfectly set bedside table, you picked it up to see a few mere messages and a beaming clock that read 6:43.

Surprisingly you were not that hungover, guessing the sex wore you out to the point of soberness. You laid in the crumpled and dirty covers for a bit longer to not disturb the blonde, before removing her arm carefully and getting up to find the bathroom.

You returned to the bedroom to find Alessia now conscious but still half asleep, grabbing your scattered clothes from off the floor.

"Morning, thought you did a runner."

You didn't reply to her, too focused on getting decent, before turning to her.

She laid her hand upon her forehead and her eyes tightly closed, you could tell she was suffering a bit more than you were, making you feel a tad guilty.

"Do you need some pills? Where are they?"

"Bathroom cupboard, thank you." She measly replied as she stayed as still as she could, yourself going to retrieve the packet, popping two of them out before handing them to her with the glass of water that was on her bedside table.

"I know this isn't a great time to talk about it but, last night... you have to know that it wasn't, i don't know... ideal."

She sat up to become more focused, lifting the duvet up with her to cover herself up as well as furrowing her eyebrows.

"We were both drunk and it wasn't meant to happen, okay? It was a mistake and i hope that we can look past it."

Alessia, was stuck staring. Her heart dropping at your harsh words, wishing this had gone the other way. She tried not to show her sadness and disappointment and nodded, agreeing to everything you said.

"Yes, of course. I agree."

"Okay, good. I am glad we're on the same page." You gave her a smile and she tried to return it, before saying your goodbye and leaving her room.

She couldn't hold it in much longer before letting the tears flow freely as she bit her lip to repress the sobs. Falling to the side of the bed you were once laying, sobbing into the pillow out of sheer embarrassment.

She thought that she'd found her way through to you, she thought that you'd actually stay. She wanted to be laying in your arms, pressing light kisses to every touch of skin she could find. She wanted you, but you didn't feel the same.

The next couple of days you tried so desperately to rid Alessia of your mind, finally exploring the city a bit and resting at home. Though at every single point, a simple detail of yours and Alessia's night crossed your mind.

You laid awake at night, processing the thoughts and feelings flowing through you. You knew you weren't enough, you didn't deserve her and you'd do everything in your power to keep her from you even if that means hurting yourself, she deserves better.

The week after that night, there was a special Man United honorary dinner to celebrate the team and it's first highly achieving season. You had to go, there was no escaping it, the email stating it was compulsory as there will be media.

You were, as to say, the last one there pretty much, which left you the last open seat with no option. The blonde occupying the one next to it, hesitantly turned her head around to find you. She gave you a small smile and looked down again as you gripped the back of the chair to pull it out, planting yourself right on the edge.

You couldn't not take notice of all your teammates hushed whispers once you sat down, but you knew they meant no harm. They all gave you discreet 'how are you's?' which made you feel secure in your position and you replied with a small curt nod to every one.

You could feel Alessia's presence as you started a small conversation with the girls to your other side, feeling an unfamiliar touch on the side of your chair.

Alessia had subtly placed her soft hand on top of yours after noticing you grip the seat, the hold made your breath hitch but you didn't move.

You allowed your hand to switch over in hers, sliding your fingers gently in between her own.

You didn't think in that moment, too obsessed with the feeling of her touch.

She gave you a small squeeze as she turned to the other english girls to talk about the upcoming world cup.

The ending of your own conversation made you snap back to reality, the silky contact of her skin on yours made you fidget, conflicted on whether to stay or let go.

You felt your hand get warm and sticky, and you wiped your other hand on your trousers to try and escape the feeling.

You couldn't help yourself no more and ripped your hand out of hers, her gaze snapping towards you at the harsh action.

"I'm sorry." You kept your eyes down as you stood up, Alessia getting the hint that the apology was for her. "Excuse me."

You felt her stare on your back as you made your way outside for some air. Alessia waiting a little bit before following after you with a face full of confusion.

To say your teammates haven't noticed is an understatement, all of them stealing glances to each other as they watched Alessia try again and again. Yet, none of them have verbally spoke about it.

"Tell me. Tell me what i am doing wrong." You heard Alessia call from behind you, slapping her arms at her side.

"Alessia, please." Your tone contrasted towards hers, trying to stay calm.

"Just tell me! Have you not got the hint, Y/N?" Her voice broke as she tried to pry an answer out of you, your heart cracking at the sight. The sight of the pain your adding to her.

"You're wasting your time, i'm trying to help you." You raised your voice slightly as you turned to look at her, raising your hands to calm her down.

"You're not! You're just making me fall more in lo-"

"Don't say it, please." You cut her off as your heart started to race at the verbal term you've never felt.

"I'm in love with you!" One lonely tear fell from her eye, as her figure began to cave in.

"No you're not, you think you are but you are not. I promise you."

"Don't try and change my feelings, stop putting words in my mouth. I love you, Y/N... and i know you love me too." That one tear increased, her perfectly done mascara falling down her cheeks.

"Stop! Just stop! You..."

Alessia pushed herself towards you, taking a tight hold on your cheeks and placing her forehead on yours.

"Please.." You could feel her shake as she brushed her lips against your frozen ones, wanting so desperately to press them together but couldn't with the lack of consent. She waited though, as long as she could before you swiftly turned your head away.

The dismissal made her release the sobs held up inside her, you wanted to pull her into you so badly but your state wasn't allowing you to.

The criminal look of her placing her beautiful hands on her perfectly destroyed face, made your hands shake.

"Come, let me take you home or something..."

"No! I'm fine, just leave me alone." She sloppily spoke as she kept her face covered, turning around and making her way back inside.

You stood still as you watched her leave, only when the door shut is when you started to panic, your hands crawling up the side of your face and into your hair.

"You are so stupid, Y/N. So stupid."

As you made your way back inside after a quick pep talk, you didn't fail to notice the dirty looks your teammates are now giving you and a lack of Alessia and Ella. You knew you had to sit back down as not just your table was looking at you and the drama you've just created.

The break until the world cup was lonely, but you were used to it. The added gut wrenching memory of making Alessia cry didn't help at all with your mental state.

You were called up by your national team to join them for the world cup, accepting the offer. You couldn't live like you had for a whole summer, wanting to keep football and only football on your mind. No distractions.

That aim didn't go to plan, not when you found out that England were who you were going to be playing in the round of 16.

You caught her eye when you all lined up in the tunnel, giving her a tight lipped smile but she just turned away, expressionless. You shouldn't have been so surprised by the hostility she inflicted, bowing your head and nodding to yourself.

This was going to be a long match.

You knew the logistics, you as a defender and her as a striker, you were going to be seeing each other a lot on the pitch. You were given the task to mark her as you knew her best. According to your head coach.

Both sides were equal in play, meaning you saw Alessia just as much as their defenders saw your strikers. You managed to stop her runs every time, hearing a huff fall from

her mouth as she ran back.

Her chances got more successful as the game went on, meaning you had to become more clever. It wasn't your fault.

When you stole the ball off her for the god knows time, you found no reaction as you passed the ball forwards. You had looked to the side to find her on the floor, grabbing what looked to be her knee.

You stood still as you saw her bury her face in the grass, only snapping back when some of her teammates surround her, pushing you out the way.

You may have just ruined the rest of her world cup and even season, the scene of her being lifted up and walking off with no weight on her leg made you feel sick.

"Come on, it's not your fault." Your teams goalie rubbed your arm as she came out of her box to take you back to your position.

You caught Ella's eye as you got to your spot and it made you feel even more guilty.

Your performance after that was terrible, tripping over your feet and conceding free kicks, you were bound to be substituted at one point, that being after England scored.

You sat on the bench anxiously, your leg bouncing up and down whilst biting your nails. You just wanted this to end already.

When the final whistle blew, you didn't know what to do. You had no idea where Alessia was and you had nobody to ask that would definitely give you the answer, you were stuck. Besides, maybe she didn't even want you there.

Mary had come up to you to shake your hand in remorse. "If it will make you feel better, Alessia's is in the medical room still."

Your eyes grew wide as you looked up from your hands to meet Mary's sweet face, thanking her before hurrying into the tunnel.

You were hesitant to enter the small room, pacing in front of it as you tried to come up with what you were going to say. Your pace was cut short when the door opened, meeting a surprised England physio.

"Erm... hi. Is Alessia still in there?" You asked while trying to get a look through the gap beside them.

"Yeah, she's still in there. She's not talking though." They stepped out holding the door open for you still, revealing yourself to Alessia's condition.

You thanked them as you took the door from them, closing it gently behind you as no one else but her was there.

"Hey." Your voice came out weak as you wrangled your hands together, staring at her back as she faced the other way propped up on the bed.

"Less, i am so sorry. I didn't mean to..." You were embarrassed with how much your voice was trembling, inching your way closer to the bed.

She turned around to face you, spotting your eyes glossing up and reaching her hand out for you.

"Please, just take my hand."

You did so promptly, striding closer towards her until she rested your hands in her lap. Your lip began to tremble as you noticed her knee all bandaged up, Alessia tucking your baby hairs away from your face.

"I broke my promise." A few tears came rushing down your cheeks, you've never accepted anyone to see you so weak before. The unfamiliar look made you notice Alessia was tearing up too.

"What promise?" Alessia whispered as she rubbed your arm up and down, her head ducking towards your gaze.

"To protect you… and i hurt you.” You sobbed as you let it all go, every pent up emotion and feeling withdrawing from you.

“Y/N… you didn’t hurt me, it was a non-contact injury.” Alessia tried to confide with you as tears of her own were pouring down her face, hands moving to tightly grip your waist for a hug.

“Still, i caused it… like i’ve caused everything, everything wrong between us and i regret it, i regret it so much.” The sobs were uncontrollable now, your body trembling. You notice Alessia shuffle over to guide you to sit down, laying your head in her neck as she held you tight.

“I am so so sorry.” You repeated the same sentence over into her neck, body slumped into hers unable to hold yourself up properly.

“Love, it’s not your fault.” You felt her lips against your head, laying her head against yours.

“I love you. I really do.” You confessed finally, sitting up straight away and looking deep into her eyes. “I know i’ve done too much to hurt you and i know you may never want to be with me ever because of how shit a person i am, you may never forgive me for what i’ve done and i’m okay with that. I hurt you and you can hurt me, i’ll be okay. I want you to be happy less, please.” You rambled on fiddling with her shorts, unable to hold eye contact in fear of rejection coming your way.

“Shut up Y/N, do you know how much i’ve wanted to here that? I don’t care if your broken, what i do care about is that there’s still love inside you and i know there is. Even if you’ve not shown it, i’ve felt it.” Alessia brought your head up with her hands to meet her eyes, blue meeting brown. You both shared a look of love, broken and ready to be restored.

“We’ll take it as slow as possible if that’s what you want, i just want to love you. Let me love you, Y/N.”

#alessia russo #alessia russo imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #alessia russo x reader #engwnt x reader #this took me ages #give it love xx #angst #kinda fluff #wlw #woso oneshot #ella toone #mary earps #manutdwomen

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yuheartss · 5 months

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WHOS THAT GIRL?

IN WHICH — light finally makes a move on the girl he’s been stalking since high school

ʚɞ WC? 949 wordss

ʚɞ warnings! - stalking, hint of kidnapping, fem!reader, fluff-ish, unedited, lowercase intended!

ʚɞ a/n: I feel like I made him a little ooc but I hope not.. if I did please tell me! constructive criticism is welcome js don't b mean ⟢

In collage you were a bubbly person you had all the best fashions, best friends everything you could’ve ever wanted except one thing, a boyfriend, you told yourself that you didn’t need one you had to work on your fashion design major

You went to a small cafe to work on a dress sketch with your earbuds on you don’t notice a man coming up to you, he taps your shoulder and you look up at him “yes?” You ask “um can I sit here? All of the other tables are full” you look around and he was right it was full

“Yea sure” you said welcomingly the man smiles and sits with a cup of tea in hand “so what’s your name?” He says, hoping to start a conversation you look up from your sketchbook you give him another smile “y/n what about you?”

“Light” he says leaning back against his chair he looks at your sketch “are you in a fashion major or something? I can tell because of your unique style and your sketches” light finished, like he didn’t already know, you stare at him for a minute and laugh softly “your very observant Light,yea I’m in that major what about you?”

“I’m in criminal justice my father was a cop so I’m just following his footsteps” he said casually, looking into your eyes for any suspicions you might have “interesting…you don’t look like you’d be a cop more like a…scientist or something” you tilt you head as he chuckles

Your phone buzzed causing the both of you to look at the phone “hello?” You answered the keychain on your flip phone dangled as you leaned over to talk to your friend as you were doing this light took notice of your slicked back bun your curls covered in glitter hairspray, charms and hair clips near your ears

He knows you’ve been like this since high school you’ve Always been friendly you were popular and all but you never had any classes with light so of course you weren’t gonna remember him

Ryuk hoveres over Light his smile never falters what are you gonna do Light? Your not gonna stalk her are you? Ryuk teases looking over to you, still on call with who ever

“Very funny” Light says softly “i already know where she lives” Ryuk laughs as you turn back to Light “sorry about that something came up I gotta go it was nice meeting you Light” you say as you start to pack your things up

“Wait! Can- can I see you again?” He asks a little too desperately but that’s what girls like right? You blush a little and flip a page of your sketchbook and write your number down you rip the paper out and give it to him before speed walking out

He watches you go and looks at the note :

xxx-xxx-xxxx call me! ♡

He smiled at this and left the cafe as light walked out the street he couldn’t help but start thinking about if you r always like that or do you fake a face or the public he just couldn’t help but think about you about what makes you tic your fears everything

So two months later you guys have been hanging out and then light calls you, he asks if you want to take a walk in a park and of course you agree, you put on your best outfit ever cheetah print leg warmers here bows with similar patters over there

And of course you being the only person of color with bright colors on, it made you stand out quite a lot you got stares from girls and boys, men and women, dogs even! it made you slightly uncomfortable as you noticed this one man who kept following you ever since you got off the bus

You brushed that aside once you saw Light in the distance you called his name and he looked over to you with a smile you caught up to him and held his arm “sorry about this” you muttered as you leaned you head on his arm

Thinking that this’ll throw the man off and he’ll leave to which he did leave after a while of walking and that’s when you let go of Light “sorry some guy was following me and I wanted to shake him off” you explained as he nodded “yea I kinda figured that’s what you were doing it’s no problem” he replied deciding to be bold and take your hand

You bit your lip softly to stop the expression that your blushing to appear “soo where are we going?” You ask as you both go deeper into the park “you’ll see..” was all he said when you both got onto the center of the park he had shown you a lit up little area fairy lights, the water fountain reflecting those light’s making the water light up, flower bushes all around

“Oh wow..” you said softly placing your well-manicured hand over you mouth “like it?” He asked with a smirk watching your every move “yeah.. are you finna propose or something?” You questioned him eyeing him suspiciously

He chuckles “no no nothing like that, I was gonna ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend” you pause for a moment he was so casual about it you almost missed the question, you practically jumped on him screaming a yes he returned your hug smiling but what you couldn’t see was the dark look in his eyes

Next thing you know, your on tv you watch as the reporter says that you’ve been missing for three months she finally asks? who’s that girl?

#death note #light yagami #light yagami x reader #light yagami x you #poc reader #black!reader #tw stalking #tw mentions of kidnapping #kinda fluff #agejo gyaru #agejo!reader #gyaru reader #naowrites໑⃝

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ivoryghostyy · 7 months

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「 image, not mine. sourced from Pinterest. 」

「 tw: possessive behaviour, obsessive behaviour, implications of being bitten — this isn't very heavy. read with caution, i suppose. 」

"let you go?" he mocked, eyeing your stubborn form.

"why would i do that? you are mine now," he hissed softly, his muscles tensing in light annoyance. surely, you didn't plan on leaving him? no, that simply wouldn't do.

"i could easily subdue you. do not test me, little mouse."

his pupils shifted to slits. his threat sent a chill up your spine. you knew of his capabilities; of his proficiency as a hunter. after all, he was an apex predator. one who spent half—if not the entirety—of his life in the wild, stalking his prey.

he is a silent and very lethal killer. his fangs are often bathed in blood; red staining his hands. the colour dripped from his glittering scales, casting a beautiful sheen beneath the moon's ethereal glow.

"for the rest of your mortal days, you shall stay here," he stated. finality coated his tone, leaving no room for further arguments.

"here, where you will be safe; where i can protect and care for you."

his eyes glow dangerously beneath the shadows.

"here, in my arms, where you will eternally be mine. it is time for you to accept that."

he nuzzled into your neck, his tail slowly uncoiling from around your waist and allowing you to stand on your own. to remind you of who's really in control.

with a hum, he continued.

"you are my mate," he declared. his lips brush against your neck; his fangs are dangerously close to your skin.

the naga snickered; a low rumble in his chest.

"are you scared, little mouse?"

his voice was deep; a pleasant sound to hear.

a sharp pair of fangs press against your pulse. 'how would you taste?' he wonders.

without another word from you, and with one last kiss to your neck, you felt a painful sting.

"that's too bad,"

a cold sensation enveloped you. your vision turned hazy. the den's walls suddenly became unclear and blurry.

"because i will never let you go."

#yandere?#yandere #naga #x reader #naga x reader #snakes #yeah idk #i dont know what i am doing #scenarios #kinda fluff #obsessive yandere #possessive yandere #shorts #short story #reader

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amber-sekio · 8 days

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One-shot Prompt

Title: And if you can forgive, love will truly live

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’”

TW: mentions of death (Oda), mentioned bad home life though not explicit

!Gender of reader is not specified!

A/N: I do plan on making a 2nd part where the reader and Dazai talk things out and get in a relationship, not sure when I'll finish it though

The word count for chapter 1 is roughly 2k

Also, this will be posted on my ao3, link on my master list

You had known Dazai for a long time, perhaps not as long as Chuuya has, but that’s beside the point.

While you had grown up around shady people and been dealing with said shady people’s shady shit pretty much your whole life, courtesy of your shitty, shady parents, you hadn’t actually joined the Port Mafia until you were 17. Two years older than Dazai and Chuuya, but joined the Mafia around roughly the same time Chuuya had.

With your ability, it didn’t take long for you to begin to climb the ranks. It wasn’t like you were trying to specifically reach the rank of executive, but gradually, you crept closer.

About a year and a half after you had joined you had made a name for yourself, and that was also about the time you had met Dazai and Chuuya for the first time during a bigger mission.

You had somehow managed to become something like friends with them on that mission and had become a somewhat regularity to be paired with them on large missions. You were tough enough to handle both their eccentric personalities as well as teasing enough to get along with Dazai and passionate enough to friend Chuuya.

It was a weird trio you had formed, often being the one to defuse them when they began to bicker. And of course, apologizing when they disturbed the everyday citizens with their fighting when the three of you had time off to just be kids.

Over time, you had begun to grow closer and fonder of Dazai, being able to relate to him more often than one probably should, but whatever. Sometimes, the two of you would find each other silently sitting at the docks staring off into nothingness, neither of you would talk, just simply get lost in your endless thoughts while enjoying the presence of someone who was similar enough to understand you.

On one such occasion Dazai had broken the endless silence of the waves below your feet; inviting you to join him to meet with his bar friends. That was when you met Ango and Oda. They were pleasant company and you had found yourself growing attached to them just like you knew Dazai was, though he would’ve probably denied it at the time.

So, when Dazai disappeared one night with no traces, followed by learning of Oda’s death. You knew.

That didn’t make it hurt any less of course. Especially with how his sudden departure shed light on your feelings for him.

While Chuuya presented himself to be finally rid of his presence, you both knew that Dazai leaving had hurt both of you. You had chosen to tell Chuuya Dazai’s reasons for leaving, not wanting the anger of Dazai’s leaving to grow into hatred, besides, Chuuya would’ve pieced it together eventually.

And like that. Everything continued. The Port Mafia didn’t mourn over its losses. Executive duties called.

So, when after 4 years of no contact, to say you were surprised at his being in the ADA would be an understatement.

You hadn’t had the chance to see him yet like Chuuya had but you were there to witness Chuuya’s drunken midnight rant after having invited you over.

“Oh, trust me, he’s as shitty a mackerel as he always has been. He hasn’t changed a bit.” Chuuya slurred off, grumbling under his breath as he laid his head down on the counter.

You were both sitting at the kitchen island, a bottle of some expensive wine brand, open and mostly empty now, was on the counter between you.

You sat with your body facing Chuuya, your head resting in your palm, elbow against the counter.

“Mhm. He hasn’t changed a bit huh?” You spoke more for the simple sake of speaking, entertaining the drunk man before you. You didn’t need clarification of something you already knew.

Dazai had always been capable of doing good. He just didn’t care between doing good or bad, it made no difference to him. He’s only working for the light because it’s what Oda wanted. Dazai not changing wasn’t a surprise. So Chuuya’s following words were a little less than expected.

“Actually…” He paused, slurring off again before clarifying his words, his head remained poised on the counter. “He looked… brighter?” He seemed to question his own words before continuing. “Brighter and healthier. He seemed…” Chuuya trailed off again but not due to his drunken state. He stopped himself from finishing his train of thought.

“Happier?” You finished for him.

He didn’t respond.

After that, you had practically forgotten about Dazai now being in the ADA, too busy with missions and the seemingly never-ending, growing stack of paperwork.

That was until tonight.

It had been a grueling past few days, rainy weather, long meetings, missions to assign, missions to report and file, and of course your endless stack of shitty paperwork that had somehow found itself in your home office, taking up even more of your own time which was already short considering your importance to the Mafia.

After you got home, sometime around the dead-ass crack of dawn, you had only grabbed a cup of coffee, one of the larger mugs you owned, before heading to your office for more work.

Sometime, while in the middle of reviewing some report, you had fallen asleep, lulled by the endless pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in your office.

You had slept most of the day away and upon waking, it had already grown dark outside, probably around 9 or 10 at night now, and you were thankful to whatever divine being had granted you a day off today because you would have been so fucking late. You chose to willfully ignore that Mori-san was technically the one who made your schedule. He was a good boss, competent in his decisions, but he was no divine being.

Stretching in your chair, you could feel the soreness of your muscles from the previous day of work. There was a tightness in your back, worse than it normally was, courtesy of sleeping in your chair.

A knock sounded on your door, soft when it made its way to your ears but still clear as it cut through the silence of the penthouse you called home.

You dragged your body to your door, still completely dressed head-to-toe in your typical Mafia outfit with the addition of a few wrinkles, your shoes clacking noisily on the floor.

“Coming!” You called out before the person waiting behind your door could think to knock again.

Reaching your door, you work through your security system before opening your door, behind, a man you hadn’t seen for 4 years.

Your tiredness slipped away from your body as you gasped. Your body now on alert as you stared at him.

He was dressed in, presumedly, his ADA outfit, light in color. His bandages still covered his neck, probably the rest of his body, but the ones that used to cover his eye were gone. He had clearly gained weight since you had last seen him, though he still lacked a significant amount of meat on his bones someone his age and height should have.

Chuuya was right, he looked happier. No. That was wrong. He didn’t look happy. He looked… sad? Guilty?

They weren’t emotions you were familiar with seeing on him. Sure, you had seen both emotions on people in the Mafia during interrogations… but on Dazai? No. He hardly ever even faked them.

He did look brighter though. Healthier.

He also looked- no was drenched. His clothes were darkened by the rainwater still pouring outside. Dripping water on the carpeted floor. You could see a few dark spots on the floor down the hall, marking his trail.

He beat you to a response.

“Sorry for showing up like this.”

You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. “Come in.”

You stepped to the side, letting him in.

You closed the door behind him as he observed the expensive and modern decorations. It lacked any personality, at least to an untrained eye. If one looked closer, you could make out a knick-knack here or there that didn’t quite fit the rest of the rather drab decorations.

It lacked vulnerability.

Your bedroom, though, where only you went into, your interests bled out.

“I assume your room has more personality than this, no?” Dazai’s tone was off. A half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.

“Vulnerability isn’t something Mafia Executives have the luxury to indulge in often.”

He didn’t respond.

“You can hang your coat on the rack.” You spoke, staring at his back as he walked into your home. “And take your shoes off.”

You turned down the hall towards your room, leaving Dazai to settle.

As you walked you called out to Dazai, not facing him. “I should have some clothes that fit you.” Then as an afterthought, “I want you to take a shower.”

When you walked back into the living room with some clothes, Dazai had actually listened, his coat was hung up and his shoes were in the genkan, he had also taken off his socks, probably soaked after being out in the rain.

You walked up to him, handing him the clothes. “Go take a shower. There should be some rolls of bandages in there, though I’m not sure how many I have left.”

He took the clothes from you silently, then: “Thank you.”

You looked him in the eyes, trying to discern how much you didn’t know about him anymore. How much you needed to learn about him.

“Have you eaten?” You spoke calmly, trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling inside you without end.

“I-…” He hesitated. “No. I haven’t.”

Without another word, you left him to go take a shower. It was probably a good idea to make something to eat anyway, considering you were currently running off of a single cup of coffee.

You decided to not bother to cook and instead pulled out two packets of ramen in part because you were still tired as fuck, and you didn’t know if Dazai’s eating habits had changed or not.

It was better to settle for something simple that he might eat if you were lucky.

It didn’t take long for the ramen to finish heating up and for you to place it in two bowls so you placed them on the table. You were about to go check on Dazai when he turned the corner into the living room.

Something was off, he had changed into the clothes you got for him, and his hair was still wet, dripping water off of his soft curls. He seemed… hesitant -nervous? More so than he had been before taking a shower.

“I made ramen.” You spoke, realizing you had been looking for a bit too long. You gestured to the table with the two bowls full of still steaming ramen.

“Thank you…” His voice was quiet, low. He clearly wasn’t bothering to hide his hesitancy, or perhaps he was just failing miserably in trying.

You sat down at one end of the table and busied yourself with eating. You watched him shift over to the seat adjacent to you.

Your eyes widened in upon noticing. “You’re not wearing your bandages?”

He shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze.

“The hoodie and shorts are soft…”

The ‘and I trust you’ went unsaid but understood.

Your face softened around the edges.

“Eat.”

He responded with a nod before picking up his chopsticks.

Soon enough you had finished your food, and though Dazai only ate half, it was more than you were expecting him to eat. You placed your dishes in the sink to deal with another time before returning to the table, though you remained standing. Dazai had yet to get up.

“Do you want to watch something? I have a day off so…” You trailed off awkwardly.

He looked up but he didn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Sure.”

The only light currently on was the blue light emitted from the television that was playing some show you were hardly paying any more attention to. After a few episodes, you had shifted from sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch to where Dazai was now practically lying on top of you. He was lying his head on your chest with his face turned towards the screen, invested in whatever show it was that was playing. You had let him pick. You were far more interested in watching as he relaxed into you as you ran your fingers through his now, mostly dry, curls.

“Tired?” Your voice no more than a whisper.

“No…” He responded; a hint of a tired whine interlaced in it. A tone his voice always had when he was tired just didn’t want to sleep in lieu of whatever he was currently doing, which at the moment was watching a show while cuddling with someone he hadn’t seen in 4 years.

“Sure~.” You teased as your nails gently scratched at his scalp.

He grumbled something softly into your chest.

You knew how bad, how dangerous your next thought was. It could end badly for both of you, but you couldn’t help when the words slipped from your tongue.

“Why don’t we go to bed hm?”

He responded with an unintelligible whine, pressing his face further into your chest, as he wrapped his lanky arms around your back.

You sighed softly but even if he had clearly put on more weight, he still wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight against you physically speaking. You gathered what remaining strength you had in you as you wrapped your hands around his waist before shifting to a sitting position. Then you secured your arms under him to lift him up in your arms.

“Come on, you lanky beanpole. Time for bed.”

The talk could wait for tomorrow, after all, he couldn’t leave with his clothes still in the washer.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #minor angst #kinda fluff #at the end at least #and with dazai being willingly vulnerable #dazai x reader #reader x dazai #readers gender not specified #bsd fanfic #bsd chuuya

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not-so-allegiant-general · 9 months

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Hux had a strange relationship with food. He wouldn't call it a disorder because in his life everything must be in order. So rather than fix problems he preferred lying to himself. He doesn't call it lying of course. It's just... Not exactly the truth but close enough for him.

When It comes to Kylo he could eat a table if it would be well-prepared. I mean... If It was edible. Em.. Yup he just loves food. He eats a lot and he actually can cook. And he can't look at Hux eating these ration bars. Especially when he knows that this is probably his only meal for all day.

Because Hux basically lives on kaff, ration bars, stims, cigarettes and FO instant noodles when he has better days. Kylo is impressed that Hux never collapsed on the bridge because of that.

One day he cooked him a proper meal. Hux was looking at the plate on his desk.

"What is the meaning of this Ren?"

" Meaning? Its food. You know. The real one not this fake trashy bars. Sit down and eat"

Hux only rolled his eyes.

" I don't have time for nonsense "

" Oh sorry. You think it was a request?"

"Excuse me?"

"It was an order General. Sit down and eat. "

"Fuck yourself Ren."

"Well no fucking till you eat"

" You can't say that! "

" i can and i just did it. Hux .. Just try alright ? I've done it by myself... "

Hux closed his eyes and sighed. He murmured silent "fine" and sat behind the desk. He sighed again taking a fork and looking at the plate like it was going to eat him. "Okay fine" he told himself. "It's fine"

"Hux?"

"Am i talking to you Ren?"

"Um... I... Don't know ?"

"Right. Then shut up" He was good at forcing himself to do things that he actually didn't want to do. So he ate. Not a lot, but he ate. "Happy? You ignorant walking trash can?"

"Did you like it?"

" It doesn't really matter. At least not for me Ren. Can you... Leave ?"

"What?"

"Just get out" and he left. And Hux didn't know who he hated more. Kylo because he actually left him alone? The plate? Because it was still on his desk? Or himself ? Because of everything.

Kylo showed up the next day with a pack of ration bars and protein shakes. Hux looked at him silently.

"I.. i am sorry... It wasn't fair. I should have warned you and asked i ... I was just worried.. I... Brought you something that you might like better i guess ? Em... Just... Please make sure you eat more than one of these all day... "

"Ah. Is that an order Ren?"

" I already apologized, Hux. Do not make it harder. " Hux looked at the bars and took one.

" I will make sure. " He went silent again And tried not to look at Kylo" And Ren... I.. I know you are right and It wasn't bad. The meal... I just... "

" i know. Take care of yourself Hux or i will start taking care of you. And believe me you wouldn't like it"

Hux actually laughed

" I don't have any complaints about your care as far"

" Do you now...? " Kylo crossed his arms. " Should i cook you another meal?"

"I... No. At least not now. Maybe... Some day. But i wouldn't mind fucking..."

"Greedy, aren't you? " Kylo rolled his eyes and smiled.

If you are interested the "Some day" did happen. Hux was laying next to Kylo on the bed. He was eating pasta. Because it was the most similar food to instant noodles, and he knew he could somehow push It through.

" And? Is it fine?"

"Bearable."

Kylo smiled.

"No one would believe me if i said that this is an actual compliment coming from you"

" No one would also believe that you moan like a common whore but you don't brag about it, aren't you?"

" You should have listened to yourself, sweetie pie" Hux choked at the fork and glared at him angrily. But then Kylo hugged him, and he almost forgot why he was so angry. And he thought that one day he could actually enjoy this. Ren cooking for him, hugging him, smiling at him and taking care. It was strange. But bearable. And It was in fact a compliment.

#armitage hux #star wars #general hux #headcanon #kylo ren #kylux #hux #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #i guess #kinda fluff #hux have strange relationship with food #and with Kylo #ft.table #they deserve each other

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mikakou2 · 8 months

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To Be Eaten Out (Karaku x Fem!Reader)

Hantengu, one of the Twelve Kizuki, and the Upper Rank Four. He was definitely a dangerous threat to the land where people yearn to live.

You have heard from other people that Muichiro slit Hantengu's head apart, though you haven't heard much from that. Not that you care for a moment, because you were searching for a different demon. Besides, the upper demon slayers can handle a demon like that.

You and your friend were waiting by the forest, watching your friend slice some trees apart. You sat on a log while brandishing your sword.

"Hey, aren't you gonna train with me today?" Your friend asked with a whiny expression. "I thought we went here to train!"

"I'm still exhausted from yesterday. It's not everyday that the city was in shambles because of the Hantengu release." You replied with an exhausted expression. "Or is it everyday...?"

"Do you have a screw loose on your head...?" Your friend asked and sighed. "Well, whatever. If you're exhausted, just rest there." They said and continued to slash trees.

"... Hey, you do know that if you keep slashing trees, you're gonna lead to deforestation, right?" You deadpanned. How inconvenient for your friend to not think about that.

"Hmm..." Your friend hummed. "Don't care. I mean, the world's practically corrupted anyway."

"You should care. Otherwise, we'll die for God's sake." You added in a firmer tone than before.

"Don't be so tight on yourself! Just relax there. Tomorrow, we have so much to do. Like, um... Visit the yakisoba shop? Or probably train more?" Your friend smiled as they rested on the hilt of their sword.

"That's dangerous. Don't do that." You sighed. "I'm gonna close my eyes for a while..."

"Yeah, you do you." Your friend nodded, and wandered further in the woods.

You laid on the log and slept. You dreamt of a world that wasn't so corrupted by demons and having to be a demon slayer against your will...

Well, all that matters is you're doing this for your own sake, and your family's sake.

You were dreaming so much, dreaming of everything and you wanted.

Possibly a boyfriend...?

However, your dream was immediately interrupted as you heard your friend's scream. You jolted up and immediately unsheathed your sword, running towards the direction of your friend's screams and pleas.

You then widened your eyes to see a muscular body, headless. Your friend panted as they held their sword.

"What are you doing?! Leave already!" Your friend yelled, however, it didn't take long for the body to regenerate.

The body regenerated a head. It was a gruesome sight to see, but the person was quite handsome. He had greenish eyes, and as you read the words on their eyes, you felt your heart drop.

Upper four.

"Isn't this exciting, man?" The man yelled with a smug grin while holding your friend's wrists, and your friend yelled in pain as the man forcefully cracked your friend's hands. "You're gonna prove your strength to the pretty girl over there! Unless I prove myself first."

You were breathless and terrified. This man had his head cut off and had it regenerated easily without raising a finger. The man wrapped his rough hands around your friend's neck. "Hey, girl. If you do what I say, I'll let your friend go."

"Don't listen to him! If you get included with Karaku, you'll-"

Without a second thought, Karaku held your friends neck tighter, his nails digging in his flesh. Your friend panicked, and so did you.

"Let them go!" You said, putting your sword infront. "Fine, I'll take up your offer. Whatever it is. Slit my throat, offer my head to the wells, I don't care. Just let them be."

Karaku, the Hantengu clone, let out a haughty laugh. He then had a smug grin on his face. "How amusing. What a determined girl!" He said, letting go of your friend. Your friend fell on the floor, panting for air.

You rushed to your friend as they had their wrists broken. "Shit, I'll get you back, don't worry-"

Suddenly, you were raised up from the ground. It was Karaku, holding the back of your uniform to raise you up.

"You're a strong, independent young woman, aren't you? No wonder this friend of yours is trying to preserve your beauty," Karaku smiled, raising you up like a child admiring their doll. "I'm gonna mess you up a little."

You widened your eyes as Karaku jumped up highly, making you grip onto his back. "Hey! What are you trying to do?! Get me back there! My friend's gonna die!"

"Your friend's gonna rot and die for all I care. Atleast I've gotten myself fresh meat today." Karaku smirked as he held the back of your head, holding you close to his shoulder as his other arm was around your waist.

He landed on a house, somewhat an abandoned traditional Minka house. He opened the sliding door and placed you in the middle of the room, that had a mattress on top.

You were quite conflicted on how to act to this. However, you definitely knew you SHOULDN'T be aroused after being dragged by a stranger to a house. And an abandoned house infact. And that you should be aware that this stranger is a demon that is an upper four.

"What do you want? Are you gonna open up my organs and play with them?" You said in annoyance. "Do it. I don't care anymore."

"Oh? How eager. How did you know that I was gonna play with your organs?" Karaku said with a grim smile as he went near you. "You know which organ, don't you?"

His hand was on your chest, and you gulped. "My heart?" You mumbled as he started to run his finger on your chest.

"Oh- nice guess. Hmm," He hummed, staring at your chest.

"Hmph. Karaku is your name, huh? I don't like your name." You said and crossed your arms, so that his finger would get off.

"Hm... You're correct. What a brilliant lady you are~ Also, you'll learn to like my name soon." He said with a cheeky grin. "What's your name?"

"It's Y/N." You mumbled. Karaku grabbed your waist and pulled you close.

"Your name is as pretty as you are," He sighed happily. "and, your uniform's quite a tease, is it? It enhances and wraps around your boobs better." He said, rubbing your chest.

"What the- stop playing around!" You said, pushing his hands away. "Anyways, aren't you gonna kill me?"

"Kill?" Karaku asked with a shocked expression, and smiled again. "Why would I kill you? You're a pretty woman."

"Ha? Then what do you even mean when you said you'd play with my organs? What, are you gonna gut me alive?" You said with a furrowed expression.

"The way you think is so endearing. Aren't you such an intelligent woman?" He smiled and went lower, until he was infront of your skirt. He raised your skirt and lowered your panties, making you shocked.

"I'm talking about this kinda organ." He said, sliding his fingers on your wet pussy. "Oh, man. You're soaked. And your lips down here look as fresh as yours up there," He gasped in excitement. His tongue then landed on your clit and started to move.

His tongue lapped fastly, making you moan loudly. "Karaku...!" You moaned, holding onto his head. "Stop that...! This isn't what we promised!" You yelled.

You saw Karaku's head pop up from between your thighs, his tongue out that was dripping with your liquids. "But we didn't promise anything." He said, removing your skirt completely.

He removed your panties as well and spread your legs. "Y/N, cooperate with me, will you?" He said, holding your inner thighs. "Spread them more."

This was getting frustrating. However, you wanted to feel something... For the past few days, you were exhausted and anxious because of expeditions.

You gulped and spread your legs more, and Karaku licked his lips. "Perfect..." He whispered in a low, sultry tone.

He then used his index finger and middle finger to open up your pussy more, exposing your sensitive folds. "I wonder what will happen if I'll apply my power on you~?" He whispered, then placed his other hand's index finger on your pussy. His index finger then produced a gentle wind, softly seducing your clit.

You moaned, arching your back. Your hands gripped onto the mattress as if there was no tomorrow, as you yelled out Karaku's name. "Gah... It feels so weird...~" You whimpered, as Karaku smiled.

"You're so pretty..." Karaku whispered, then went closer. "Hold me instead. Yell out my name until you can't even handle your own vocal cords."

As he said those words, he guided your arms to wrap around him. "There, don't be so uptight." He added, kissing your cheek.

You held onto him as your legs twitched as his finger produced more wind energy to pleasure you.

"I want to slide it inside." Karaku whispered to you ear, before gently sucking on your earlobe. "Can I?"

You were hesitant, but nodded nevertheless. "Please do..." You begged. Karaku smirked. Just earlier, you wished to die and sacrifice yourself. But now, it seems that you've submitted to this clone.

"Alright, it's coming in~" He said, inserting his middle finger inside. You moaned louder as usual. It was way different when you pleasured yourself, as his finger was longer and thicker than yours.

"Woah, it slid in so easily with no lube! How interesting, did you get yourself prepped up?" Karaku panted in ecstasy as he kissed your neck. "Did you spread your pussy like this and start fingering yourself before the expedition~?" He added with a sultry gaze, thrusting the finger in and out.

"Karaku!" You moaned out, your grip around his neck tightening. "I-It's too much, I think I'm gonna cum already...!" You added, however, Karaku shut you up by pressing his lips to yours.

The two of you had a pleasant make out session, with his tongue exploring the insides of your mouth thoroughly, as if he had been waiting for this moment his whole life.

As this continued, his fingers continued to thrust in and out. The pace increased further, making you moan into his mouth.

He pulled away and grinned. "I actually lied," He said, pulling out his finger.

"H-Huh? I was just about to cum..." You frowned. Karaku then went close to your ear.

"Remember when I said I'm gonna mess you up a little?" He whispered. "I guess I lied to myself as well." He added.

He then pulled out his cock, and it was large than you expected from him. He positioned himself infront of your pussy as he held your legs.

"I'm gonna mess you up until you can't even fucking remember your name." He said while licking his lips. "I'll mess you up until all you can think of is taking my big cock."

He then pressed his forehead against yours as he rubbed his tip against your slit, and you could see him panting heavily.

"Can you handle it for me, Y/N?" He asked, wanting consent from you first.

Obviously, with that face of his, you weren't the one to decline. You wrapped your arms around his neck once more and spread your legs.

"Just fuck me already," You said with a smile. "I want you inside of me, Karaku. Please. All of your dick."

With the green light, Karaku's eyes shined in delight. He then held your thighs.

"You said it yourself, Y/N! Well done! You're such a good girl!" He said, his left hand holding your cheek. "Might as well reward you for being such an obedient girl~"

And without waiting for more talk, he entered your pussy. Of course, the two of you moaned loudly. Karaku panted heavily while biting down to your shoulder.

"Karaku, Karaku...!" You moaned out his name, holding his back. "It feels so big and slippery...!"

"Probably because your pussy is so slippery and wet~" He grinned, holding your hips tighter. "And I'm not even all in yet."

You moaned and groaned as he started to move. You felt your eyes roll back as you arched your back more. Karaku embraced you as he thrusted in slowly.

"I've never had a pussy like this before... Fuck..." He groaned out, kissing your neck. "Tell me, have you been showing your pussy to other people? Have you, Y/N?" He grinned, licking your lips.

"Fuck... So big..." You whined out, covering your face in ecstasy. "I haven't... Karaku... You're the only one..."

Karaku's grin appeared again in pleasure. "You're such a good girl for saying what I want to hear~" He said, and went deeper. "That guy you were talking to earlier probably had a small dick, huh? Don't worry, I'll make you feel how good it is to have a real man inside you."

Karaku pushed further inside until he was balls deep inside you. You quivered underneath him, and he held your wrists.

"Don't cover your face, Y/N," He said as he catched his breath. "I want to see your beautiful face while I fuck your pussy hard."

He then raised your legs and thrusted deeper, making you curse. "Fuck...! It feels so good~!" You yelled out. All you could saw were curse words, due to how slurred your brain was as a response to the pleasure.

"Yeah? You love my big cock inside you, hm? You wouldn't think of anyone else other than me?" He asked as he started sucking on your boobs. "I won't let you cum from someone else's dick."

"I won't... Anymore..." You panted, holding onto his black, long hair. "I promise I'll only cum for you...~"

Those words of yours immediately turned on Karaku, and he held your thighs. "The way your words entices me," He said, and thrusted deeper. "makes me want to fuck you until you pass out!"

You gasped in ecstasy as all of his length slid out and slid inside roughly. You couldn't even think about how you were having sex with a demon. All you could think of was swallowing his big cock. "Kakeru, I'm gonna cum soon...!" You whimpered, holding onto his shoulders as he kissed your cheek and licked your ear.

"I'm gonna cum too," He groaned as his pace went harder than ever. "Let's cum together~"

You felt his cock throb inside your pussy, and you widened your eyes. He shot his load inside of you as you came on his cock, and the room was filled with slurred moans and sloppy noises.

The sloppy, wet noises died down as you two started to make out again. You loved how his tongue felt, and how skilled it was. You pulled him closer by holding his cheeks.

"Fuck, Y/N... If you continue on doing that, I might end up falling for you..." Kakeru said, licking your lips.

"Ngh... That was so exhausting," You said, catching your breath as you laid down. Your arm was hovering over your face to block out the light.

Karaku whined as you were about to sleep. "Come on, one more round... Please...? I'll lick on your pussy until you cum, I promise." He added, kissing your lips.

Now that sounded like a great deal.

"You promise?" You asked as you sat up.

"I promise," He replied, sitting up as well. You could see his cock still up, as if it didn't shoot it's load inside you. "Darling, suck my dick for me."

It was so tempting, that you can't even refuse. You've never imagined going as far to sucking someone's cock.

You got between his thighs, and he guided you properly, his hand on the back of your head gently. "Just position yourself there, and suck on the tip." He said, holding your chin. "Come on now... I feel like I'm gonna cum from seeing your face."

Without slacking off, you started to suck on his tip. He moaned as he caressed the back of your head. "Fuck... Just like that, baby. Go deeper." He added, pulling your head deeper gently. "Shit, I promised to only finger her... But that's just a lie again," He thought while caressing your head.

You started to bob your head up and down in a medium pace, and he groaned. You wanted to make it feel better for him, so you started to give him a boob job AND a blowjob.

"Fuck, Y/N...! This feels so good...!" He moaned out, holding the sides of your head. Without thinking, he started to fuck your mouth.

The wet and sloppy noises came back as he was fucking your mouth like there was no tomorrow. You felt his cock throb again. "Fuck, Y/N... I'm gonna cum..."

You pulled out from his cock just in time as he came. He panted heavily as you did as well, and he smiled to see his cum all over your face.

"That felt amazing, sweetheart~" He said, then pushed you down again on the bed. "Might as well fuck all of your holes, right?"

He turned you over and positioned you into a doggy style potion. "Wait, Karaku, I just came-!" You said, but Karaku has definitely lost his mind now. He shoved his cock in your ass, and you moaned loudly.

Karaku let out a smug chuckle. "You like it from the back too, hun?" He asked as he kissed your nape. "I'll make you my personal cum dumpster, Y/N~"

Karaku's nails digged deep on your hips as he started to thrust into your ass. Since you gave him a wet blowjob, it slid in perfectly.

"Ah~! Karaku, Karaku...! Your cock feels so good...!" You moaned out, pushing your hips cloder towards Karaku. "Go wild on me and fuck me like you intended to!"

Karaku had an amazed look and grinned. He had already made you submit to the point you begged and ordered him around. "My lady, you're so persistent~ But I'll grant your wish!" He said, and started to thrust faster.

His thrusts only sent you to euphoria as your hands gripped the mattress tightly. You've never felt this much pleasure, so it was overwhelming. "I'm gonna cum, Karaku...! I'm... Cumming...!"

"Me too... Fuck... Let's cum together, Y/N~" He grinned and bit your nape, leaving a hickey.

The two of them then moaned together as they came together. You felt so full of his cum, but when did that matter? All that matters was that you felt so good and dominated by this demon, to the point you can't even handle it anymore.

You passed out on the mattress, and Karaku smiled. "She passed out after I filled her up. How cute~" He said, turning her over. He started to kiss her neck that had a mole. "Beautiful women always have lots of moles. Do you know that, Y/N?" He asked, even though he's fully aware of you being passed out. "Fuck, I love her." He thought to himself, as he kissed your moles. "I love you. I love you, Y/N." He repeated, until he went low infront of your pussy again.

"It's so full of your cum..." He said with a grin and started to lick your pussy again. He tasted your juices, and it was obvious that he was obsessed. His tongue lapped your clit over and over, until your pussy was cleaned.

He looked at his side to see your panties. "Your panties have precum on them. I should have fucked you infront of your friend~" He hummer, and smelt your panties. "Fuck, that smells great... The smell of a horny virgin..." He grinned.

He put the panties aside and pulled out a blanket. He laid beside you after he gave you the blanket.

"I wanted this to be a fingering session, then an one night stand... But with that face of yours, I don't think I'd want to fuck someone else that doesn't have your face." He whispered to your ear and then sucked on your boobs.

"I've fallen inlove with you, Y/N."

(I have no idea who Karaku is but I wrote this anw, if there are incorrect sentences and false information according to lore/mischaracterization, spare me T-T)

#karaku #demon slayer fanfiction #demon slayer fanfic #karaku x reader #hantengu clones #fanfiction #smut #kinda fluff #demon slayer

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anunfortunatekinlist · 9 months

Text

Some Disabled Remus Drabble

honestly this is me adding my two cents in on disabled remus writing as someone who uses a mobility aid and needed a good rant tbh. but this is almost from my perspective so imma be protective over this like a mother.

Remus was apprehensive at first, well of course, he would willing be drawing attention to himself, but as the days draw longer and more painful, and after Sirius constant nagging, he caves and finally uses his cane more often.

It honestly feels ridiculous at first, like he is faking a problem, showing off almost, cause he can walk on his own most days, “Why the fuck do I need this shitty thing anyway”, he would constantly mutter. In reality, the cane wasn’t shitty, or displeasing to the eye at all, it was almost ornate, intricate wooden carvings etched into a lovely oak stick, handle carved into a shape to relieve pressure off of us ever aching wrists. The only thing he could complain about was the attention.

Some people’s curiosity was out of kindness, as the cane was proof of Remus’s incapability, but it would get annoying to be asked “How he was?” or “What happened?”, about 8 times at breakfast whilst he was trying to eat some toast. It was a show of his fragility, how he wasn’t fully working, almost not human, something people needed to dodge, treat with caution. Remus couldn’t just tell them all to fuck off, as Sirius eloquently suggested, as it felt rude, even though their “concern”, was a mask for a fiendish need for more gossip.

The stares were worse though, as people only saw older people with canes, not a lanky 17 year old, known for causing pranks and having above average spell work, it didn’t make sense. It was like they were too stunned to speak, to curious to look away, and too polite to laugh, the stares almost made him give up entirely on the idea, that he could power through the agony to just be normal again, not like Sirius wouldn’t catch him if fell anyway.

Sirius would be almost angry at this idea, didn’t see the point in him hurting himself to please others eyes, “I’ll fucking punch anyone who says anything.”, he would promise, and Remus knew he intended to keep that promise, and that motivated him slightly, his boyfriend, and his mates, would always protect him front the rumour, however outlandish, except the occasion, “I heard he was scratched by a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest.” mutters, as it never failed to make them laugh at the accuracy and the idiocracy of the gossip. The safety of the laugh with his friends made him almost feel normal, and not a freak of natural, or a fragile package.

And all Remus really wanted was to feel normal and not in pain.

#remus lupin is disabled #this is like my own person rant #so leave it be #i wrote this sad and feeling miserable about my pain #marauders era #sirius black #james potter #remus john lupin #wolfstar #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #disability #walking stick #harry potter #kinda fluff #fluffy in like a good way and a bad way #most of this drabble is based on my personal experience #character breakdown

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icycoldninja · 4 days

Text

Lab Visit (Sephiroth x Scientist!Reader)

(Set in Crisis Core)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sephiroth was due for a physical today. He was supposed to receive new Mako injections and stamina boosters, as per Hojo's orders. You, one of Shinra's top scientists, had been ordered to complete this procedure. While the very mention of such a task frightened your fellow scientists, you were not to be deterred. Sephiroth was a bristly, rather cold person, but he wasn't as cold to you, which could probably be credited to the little friendship the two of you had built. Over the years, Sephiroth's visits to the lab had brought you company, real company, not the ramblings of some deranged lunatic who lurked about in the shadows. Sephiroth was different, both physically and mentally, though you could never tell why. There was something about him that enabled his very presence to be both calming and terrifying all at the same time. Yes, the man could be nice at times, but there were several disastrous instances where he lashed out in anger at anyone who dared approach him with a needle or syringe, though when you did it, you were a different story. One could even say...he trusted you. This trust allowed you to do things to him no one else could, such as take samples of his blood without him going ballistic and destroying everything in the lab in a fit of rage--or possibly, fear.

"Y/N," A low, sinister voice intoned, as an old man with greasy black hair tied back in a low ponytail emerged from the shadows.

"Dr. Hojo," You greeted, feeling yourself tense under his menacing gaze. Of all the scientists--no--all the people in Shinra, Hojo was who you detested the most. The acts he'd committed were unforgivable. Turning your own assistants and fellow scientists into mutant creatures for "research"?! Unbelievable! Not to mention the things he'd done to Sephiroth before you'd even arrived. You hadn't even uncovered the details of what happened, but you knew it had to be bad.

Still, Hojo was your employer; he was paying your wages and providing you with opportunities to learn and grow your experience--as well as chances to talk to Sephiroth more often, so you had to grit your teeth and bead it.

"The subject will be here soon," He finally said, sounding rather giddy. "Prepare the equipment. I want samples of everything." You gulped, knowing full well that when Hojo said he wanted "everything", he meant everything. Skin samples, hair samples, sweat samples, and more. You barely finished gathering up your gear when a familiar figure trooped through the door.

"Dr. Y/N, how do you do?" You spun around, trying--and failing--to hide the grin on your face.

"General Sephiroth, a pleasure to see you again. Do have a seat." Sephiroth nodded before tugging off his leather trench coat, revealing his lack of underclothes. He hung the coat on a rack on the wall and took a seat on the hospital-style bed you'd prepared for him. From the corner, Hojo watched, a devious glint in his eye. You busied yourself with gathering up vials and beakers, and such, while the two men glared at each other silently. After several minutes, Hojo departed, presumably to slither back into whatever hole he crawled out of, leaving the two of you alone in the room. Almost instantly, the tense mood was lifted.

"I can't believe you can put up with him," Sephiroth sighed, crossing his bare arms. You shrugged, sterilizing a needle with alcohol.

"Believe me, I'm trying very hard not to throw something acidic at his head." Your eyes met, smirks both plastered on your faces.

"I would like to see you do that," Sephiroth chuckled, extending his arm for you to prick.

"And to do so would be my dream come true," You responded, gently pricking his arm with the needle and drawing a few small drops of blood.

Sephiroth nodded, a smile on his face as he relaxed into the hospital bed. Over the course of the next hour, you collected all the samples Hojo would need for his sick creations, and once the Mako infusion drip was in, you were both free to chat, about work, about your own personal lives, about everything. Throughout the entirety of this short visit, Sephiroth looked happier than you'd ever seen him, even though he was in a place he hated. He was happy with you, and you were happy with him.

Once the infusion was complete and Sephiroth was free to leave, he did so reluctantly, for the only reason he braved the nightmares of this lab, the only reason he subjected himself to experimentation, was so he could see you.

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thedemises · 12 days

Text

. . . LONGING! featuring bennett!

contains! . . . genshin impact, BENNETT!!!, possibly ooc bennett, awkward bennett, eula lawrence mention :O, kinda angst kinda fluff, one-sided love, unrequited love, idk romance properly 😃, gn! reader, second person pov, reader is not the traveller but implied to be the traveller's other companion besides paimon, reader is mentioned to not be the most expressive (though is mentioned to be kinda overprotective at one point??), reader likes someone else but that someone else isn't really hinted to be anyone but feel free to imagine that character as someone ig, reader is quite reasonable and considerate as they decline and let down bennett's confession and they stay friends with him (bennett still likes them romantically tho even when his feelings are never gonna mutually reciprocated). notes! . . . (this was supposed to be a drabble but got carried away 💀 this idea just randomly popped up at 3:19 AM of 4/15/24-) can we just have readers who aren't like too expressive?? I know there are some works that have the reader whose personality is more introverted, but there's kind of barely any :// and im talking about where the reader is not very expressive here but not to be mistaken or considered as cold or aloof 😧 kinda like albedo or smth-

“if only they'd look at me like they look at them...”

amongst the many people who reside around and about, bennett obviously isn't the most luckiest person to walk on teyvat since fate had other plans and gifted him the curse of bad luck for the entirety of his life.

though at least he had some luck to have some friends there for him—especially having you around. you weren't the most expressive, quite like miss eula, yet did what you can to show your appreciation for the friendship others have made with you throughout your journey. sure, your expressions (or, therefore lack of) were difficult to read but bennett couldn't care less—he knows you care.

and he kind of likes that aspect of you.

bennett knew you wouldn't be here on mondstat for long since you and the traveller have a long way to go until the traveller has found their long sibling, yet he secretly wishes to have you stay here for a little longer than the intended time.

though he isn't good with it, but he tries to. however yet clearly, love wasn't within his reach as lady luck never seems to stick around him.

staring

you love somebody else.

you likesomeone else.

not him—of course—some person has already taken your main interest, so it's evident that bennett doesn't have much of a chance to confess.

you already have somebody in mind that you feel attracted to; and bennett's heart aches with an ugly feeling blooming in his chest, but he doesn't have anything to do something about it.

sitting nearby with his elbows rested atop his knees as bennett's cheek is pressed against his balled up fist that he leans against ever so slightly, the boy quietly chews his bottom lip as he stares at your direction with a look in his green apple-eyed gaze. longing. longing for every action you take.

he longs for the way you give subtle feather light touches to person you're fond of. he longs the extra quick glances you give the oblivious individual when they're not focusing on you. he longs for your careful and gentle words of affirmation and reassurement. he longs the softened gaze you fixate on the person beside you, seated slightly a bit closer than intended yet making no movement to shuffle away. he longs for that expression you don, your checks lightly flushed and batting your lashes as you glance to the side a few times but not too obvious to be pointed out so quickly by your crush.

bennett longs for the way you look at them like that—he dreams that one day, you'll stare at him the same way you gaze at them.

however, when will that day ever come?

...

“uh.. can i tell you something..?”

a vibrated hum coming from you was what bennett got as a response, signalling him to continue whatever he'll tell you while as you efficiently work on a report that is needed to be done soon—of course, you don't waste time to do your paperwork almost immediately.

behind you awkwardly stood bennett, ears and checks flushing in such shade of pinkish red that one would assume he might be ill from travelling through dragonspine just to get to your current location, where'd you be inside your work quarters. y'know, working. but fortunately, the boy luckily wasn't sick with a cold he could've accidentally caught.

“err...” bennett starts uneasy and not sure with whether if he should say it or should he not, nervous with uncertainty of how you'd reply and possibly express about—you're quite unpredictable, after all.

“... ithinkireallylikeyou.”

“...”

“..?”

for once you blink almost dumbfoundedly and halted the movements of your hand that firmly grasps the quill pen, an inch away from creating another black stroke against the paper's flat surface. with how he spoke with such haste, you didn't quite catch what he nervously chirped out loud, but yet you still managed to piece together what he'd been attempting to say. he doesn't notice the way you nonchalantly stare at the almost finished report before you, considering your back is faced towards him.

“... you like me?”

“yeah,” bennett shuffles nervously, his body swaying a little as he glances down at the floor, “i like you. I really do.” he repeats it again, voice trailed off at the end like he's mumbling instead and you quietly blink at one random spot on the paper that you were staring at, the pause in the conversation stretching too long to be even considered comfortable.

“hm.”

... hm.

hm, huh? ... wait, just ‘hm’? is that all? bennett's questions all were left unanswered because, well, he was internally monologuing after all. who would even hear him and his scattered thoughts besides a mind reader? not that there is one that he knows of.

“well,” you begin after clearing your throat, just to break the silence yet you still don't turn your back to even glance at him, “it must've ache to have feelings for me while having the knowledge of my romantic interest focused on a different individual.”

yeah, it did. “uhm, yeah. i do know that you have feelings for someone else..-”

“yet you still decided to tell? knowing of the expected rejection either way?”

after finishing the last words of your report, you stop writing and change your position in your seat to where you can face bennett so you can confront him properly.

“look at me,” you state to the boy with a head of short pale hair whose eyes were directed downwards at his feet, as if too embarrassed to look at you with a proper gaze—or perhaps he didn't listen to your words at all as he probably was too focused on his scrambled thoughts circulating crazily in his head.

your own eyes squint at this, facial expression staying unchanged but you seem to appear a bit impatient as you lowly utter to him, “look at me properly, bennett.”

said boy's head shoots up at his name being called out, looking alarmed at the tone you used and you, unfazed, took this as a sign to continue.

“i don't reciprocate your feelings—” well, he already expected that kind of response. “—and I consider that it is good that you've told me, about your interest in me that were previously contained but now let out to someone who can be trusted with whatever you were hiding.”

...???

“it's good to not bottle up your own emotions, and I'd feel guilty if it took you some lasting time till you had the courage to inform me of your romantic feelings. i hope you'd seek for someone else who'll appreciate you as much i do.” with a ghost of a sincere smile on your face, bennett goes quiet. he takes in all of your words into some deep thoughts and consideration. you're reasonable with your words and quite considerate, you're like that with most people you'd come across—depending on your overall mood.

(as your friend, bennett also knows about the... (over)protective trait that you possess; and there wasn't a time he could recount of you showing even the slightest ounce of hesitancy whenever a friend of yours is in anything that could and would be considered a sign of danger.

he still recalls the day he'd been verbally insulted by a guy who wasn't content with what bennett unintentionally had done this time caused by his own bad luck—only for said guy to abruptly stop the moment he saw you standing from behind bennett and glaring at his direction with a look in your eye that silently indicates, “shut the fuck up,” while holding what seems to be a bowl containing mysterious and possibly not-so harmless glowing thick liquid that had bubbles forming and popping at the surface. the smell was toxic, even from a mile away one could still sense the scent of the smell—that was how bennett knew you were right behind him when he saw the guy suddenly freeze up on the spot).

bennett understands why you'd prefer not to be with some boy given the burdening gift of bad luck (even if that actually wasn't the case—you're mostly unfazed), he still is upset but at least you politely turned him down than outrightly declining him on the spot.

“I do have my hopes up of being your friend still,” you added, to which bennett briefly nods at before lightly shaking his head and waving hand side-to-side as if to decline such thing.

“no no- of course we'll stay as friends! i'm glad that you let me down that lightly there and didn't feel disgusted when I told you that.”

you shake your own head as well, “nonsense. why would i ever act irrationally? to something such as that? i have encountered few people throughout my travels where they'd attempt to do the same thing as you did, but i would always be certain and straightforward when refusing to reciprocate their attraction towards me. making immoral decisions is not my cup of tea.”

his hands subconsciously fidget with his glove's fingertips as he dons a small smile featuring on his lips, a short chuckle almost coming out of him if he weren't trying to stop it while he listens to every word you speak from you heart. gazing up, bennett turns to you, “yeah, thanks.. i'll be going off now, see you later.”

in response, you pay him one last nod before turning your back to give attention to your work once again as you utter a “shut the door as you go.” under your breath. the boy does what you asked; he left the room and closed the door in the process, the steps of his boots are muffled and grow quieter the further away he is from your door.

...

... yeah, perhaps only in his fantasies will that ever appear to exist, he supposes. he still likes you, even after accepting the fact that you'll never see him in that perspective.

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bunihyo · 1 year

Note

way to expose me in the hashtags last time… BUT FINE. since u wanna be so dramatic write a remus x reader ones shot that’s like- an au where Remus is a infamous killer in london, and reader is always waiting for him at home to patch him up and clean him :)

I SUPPOSE I could write this /j

warnings : mentioned killing, blood, wounds, scars (idk if this counts as a warning)

(0.9k words)

Remus had a tendency to make messes.

You loved him for it, of course. His little messes were easy to clean up…in the beginning. You didn’t mind cleaning up after him here and there, but then the visits became frequent. And the wounds became bigger over time. Remus had a large scratch across his face (He’d never told you where it was from, but you heard from Sirius that it was a scar from a childhood attack) and when you patched him up you often caught yourself staring at it.

He didn’t seem to care, he was too focused on the gentleness in how you handled him. The way your hands would trace softly up and down his body if stitches were needed (he hated the feeling of thread and the prickling of needles). The way you would, after every wound dressing, look up into his eyes as if silently telling him you were all done. It was comforting, and he couldn’t help but come back every time.

Your touch was an indulgence, and he wanted more and more. It was greedy, yes, but you were willing to give it to him. “Is it yours or theirs?” You’d question every time he visited, tugging him into your home.

“Both,” Was his reply this time- feeling the warmth of your home encapsulate him. He breathed in the familiar scent, comfort settling in his bones. He watched your gaze shift slightly, a frown overcoming your beautiful features. “It’s mostly theirs,” Remus assured.

You bit at your lip, sighed and gestured toward the door. “Close that, will you?” And he did, already turning to be led to your kitchen, like always. It was the regular routine. You walked him into the warm room- he took his spot at your table and watched you dig around your drawers for the supplies. “Any deep cuts today?”

“No,” Remus mumbled. “Light.”

“Alright big boy,” You grunted- grabbing your large box of medical supplies you’d splurged on just for him. “So, what was it tonight? Gang? Guy who tried to run over a granny?”

Remus found himself smiling at your joke, and in return you had smiled too- slipping into the nearest seat. “No, guy messing with Reg. I hurt him.”

Remus didn’t like to use the word killed. He didn’t want to be named a monster. Because monsters didn’t deserve you. Of course half of London knew him as a night killer, but Remus didn’t often read or watch the news. “I see,” You hummed, gesturing toward the shirt that he instantly began to peel off. “What’d you do to him?”

“Hurt him.”

You huffed. “Yeah I know that, big guy. But I need to at-least know it wasn’t a mess that the police could link back to you,”

“It wasn’t,” Remus shook his head, discarding his shirt to the table. Your hands came up instantly with a wipe- cleaning away the dried blood on his chest. “It’ll be okay, starlight.”

You grunted in response, clearing away the blood that had seeped through. Your hands moved to grab the medical gauze you had. “Alright, I’m gonna choose to believe you,” Remus knew better than to clue you in on everything going on in his night life. He didn’t want you hurt.

“Your hair,” He gestured. “Did you cut it?”

You nodded gently. “Summers coming, it’s too long.”

“I like it,” Remus nodded. “Makes you look more like you.”

“More like me, hm?” Your eyes flashed up to meet his for a brief second, as you cleaned and wrapped a cut you’d found at his waist. “In that case you should know I like the fluffy mop you’ve got going on.”

Remus grimaced and moved to ruffle his own hair, damp from the rain. “I hate it.” He shook his head. “But if you like it, I won’t cut it.”

You hummed—moving to dress a wound on his arm. He watched you closely, watching your eyes rake over the scars on his body. Some recent from his killings, most from the orphanage he grew up in. You traced over one with your eyes— frowning. “Will you promise me something?”

He tilted his head. “What?”

“Don’t get into trouble. And don’t get killed,” You sighed. “That’s all I need.”

“Starlight—”

“I’m serious Remus.” You grit, forcing your eyes up to meet his. “I don’t want you dying because of something stupid like a vendetta. Promise me, please.”

Remus drew in a breath and breathed it out gently. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good.” You nodded, looking back at his wound. “It gets cold upstairs, so if you want you can crash on my couch or something.” You muttered, finishing the bandage and looking up silently at Remus. You were done. Your eyes lingered his for a second longer before you began to pack up and move to put your stuff away.

Remus pushed off the chair. “What about you?”

“I’ll be upstairs, Remus. I always am,” You chuckled, pushing the medical supplies back into their cabinet. Remus was quiet, and you went to question him, before you felt his arms wrap around your waist.

“Who will keep you warm?” He muttered, bending to press a gentle kiss to your head.

“I don’t need a warm body, if that’s what you want, Remus.” You muttered, turning around to look up at him. He shook his head.

“That’s not what I want.”

You roll your eyes and push him away. “Whatever man,” You sigh. “You can sleep in my room if you’re that desperate. Take a shower first though,”

“Why?” Remus frowned.

“You smell like wet dog, that’s why.”

#dd writes remus ׂׂૢ #i love remus lupin #remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #kinda fluff #dd sucks at tagging #just trust the fic #request

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strwbrrybxn · 2 years

Text

like it's the only one you know ; word count: 1.2k

☞︎︎︎ pairing: rengoku kyojuro × fem!reader

☞︎︎︎ warnings: mentions of cheating, third person pov

☞︎︎︎ genre: angst, fluff(ish)

☞︎︎︎ au: demon slayer canonverse

characters: rengoku kyojuro, shinazugawa sanemi, reader

The tears dripped down her cheeks as she looked at him – the man she was supposed to marry in the next month – and wondered just how she was going to tell everyone the wedding was off. He kept his eyes downcast, trying his best to ignore hers before he turned away and stalked into their shared bedroom.

“You better be packing,” she hiccuped, dropping onto the couch and wiping her cheeks. She sniffled, pulling out her phone and scrolling through it, ignoring the sounds coming from her bedroom as her ex-fiance gathered his bags. He stopped in front of her, frowning as she refused to look up. She heard a soft whisper of her name, but kept her nose scrunched and eyes on her phone. She waited for the click before pressing on a familiar name in her phone.

“You have the worst fucking timing. What do–” the sniffle cut him off. He shuffled a little, the background sounds no longer in her ear. “What happened?”

“C-can you just–”

“I’m coming.” With Kyojuro.

Kyojuro peeked over at Sanemi’s phone, the name and photo ID popping up made his heart stutter. He knew they still spoke, that they were still good friends, but–

He shook his head, not wanting to think about those things at the moment. He watched as Sanemi answered the phone.

“You have the worst fucking time. What do–” The white-haired man stopped mid-sentence, looked at Kyojuro before leaving the room. He frowned, taking a seat on the empty couch. Shinazugawa flung the sliding door open, seething, grumbling under his breath about “killing that song of a bitch.”

“I’m coming.” Sanemi didn’t even question it; he had spent far too many nights listening to the eldest Rengoku son cry over the one he let slip through his fingers. The wind hashira didn’t even tell him what happened on the way to her apartment. Kyo figured he didn’t even know.

The knock echoed throughout the quiet apartment and she brushed her palms against the apron before opening the door. Gold and red tufts of hair caught her eye before landing on the swirled irises. Sanemi stood behind the boisterous man and when it became clear she wasn’t going to kick him out, the white-haired man slipped away quietly, texting her that he’d check on her tomorrow.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Shinazugawa brought me,” his voice was unusually quiet. “Are you okay? Why are you crying?” She hadn’t realized the tears spilling down her cheeks again. She couldn’t tell if it was because Kyojuro was standing in front of her or if it was because of her fiance’s affair. She chalked it up to both before letting him in.

Kyojuro was never one to sit still, and tonight was no different. He followed her into the apartment and into the kitchen where the timer rang aloud. Her head jumbled, she ducked down and pulled the fresh tray of cookies from the oven. The heat burned through her skin and her fingers were quick to open, the cookies landing on the floor along with the tray.

“Fuck–”

“Baby, be careful!” The flame hashira rushed over, grasping her hands and bringing her to the sink to put cold water on the burns. The nickname made her head spin and the tears spring onto her lash line. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay. It was just a burn.”

“Just a burn?” His frown deepened. He sat her down on the counter and walked into the bathroom. Everything was still the same, in the same place. The only difference was the excess amount of men's shampoos and razors decorating the counter. He thought about throwing them in the trash. He didn’t. Rengoku ducked down, grabbing the first aid kit before slipping back into the kitchen.

"You remembered." It wasn't a question, just an observation. I did live here at some point. But he didn't. Never officially, at least. He had this apartment memorized either way.

"I'll make us some tea," was all he said when he finished wrapping her small fingers, his lips twitching with every passing second as he wanted to kiss the pain away — kiss away the burns, the tears, the aches in her heart.

“He cheated on me…” she whispered, looking down at her soon-to-be scarred hands.

“What?” God, don’t look at me like that. His eyes softened, stomach clenched. He frowned.

“With his coworker. It started two months after our engagement party.” Her fingers danced along the jewelry on her hand, slipping it off. “I should have seen it coming, you know? I should have noticed the signs of him pulling away. Should have–” Rengoku squatted down to get into her peripheral.

“No one can ever notice the signs.”

“I noticed them with you– when you–”

“I never cheated on you–”

“–when you pulled away from me.” She smiled sadly, looking down at Kyojuro. He took the ring, tossing it aside for the moment – and hoping it gets lost somewhere – before taking her hands.

“Nothing that happened was your fault. Nothing.” Not me, not us, not this. “You are amazing, and always have been. You’re a wonderful partner.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. You're amazing, beautiful, so caring, and loving. You give your all and don’t expect anything in return. You make me–” he stopped, taking a deep breath. “You make everyone so happy.”

“Ky– Rengoku..” Say my name. He smiled softly, opting against voicing his thoughts. He can’t get upset about it now. He can’t let his name get in the way of making her smile.

“I mean it.” She hiccuped, ducking her head down as the liquid spills against their hands. She tried to keep her sobs in, tried to breathe when he stood up and wrapped his arms around her middle. Her fingers gripped his haori, fisting the fabric between her fingers as she cried. “You have done an incredible job and I am so proud of you.”

“K-Kyo–” Say it again. He tightened his arms around her, squeezing her gently. “Kyojuro…” Again.

“I’m right here.”

“Why are you being so good to me?”

“Because it’s what you deserve. It’s what you’ve always deserved.” He towered over her as she wiped her eyes. His calloused fingers tangled into her hair, carding through the locks. “You deserve so much more than you were ever given in your life.” Her sobs just got louder, her hands covering her eyes and mouth. “More than I could ever give you. More than he ever could.” Just let it out. Her fingers clawing at his uniform while she cried. They stayed like that until she calmed down; stayed tangled together in the middle of the kitchen amongst the forgotten cookies and the discarded ring. Kyojuro held her until she could breathe again, carrying her to her bedroom and rocking her until she fell asleep pressed against his shoulder with tear stained cheeks and the pieces of their own shattered relationship spilled along fabric.

“D-don’t leave me.” She whispered in her sleep.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered as if she could hear him.

< previous

#ficlet #rengoku #rengoku x reader #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro angst #rengoku kyojuro #kny kyojuro #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kinda fluff #🍓 writes #🍓

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ivoryghostyy · 6 months

Text

「 image isn't mine. sourced from pinterest. 」

「 this was supposed to be a re-vamp of "love bite" but, well, i guess i got a bit too carried away. this one's pretty long, so have fun! 」

「 tw: possessive behaviour, swearing, non-consensual biting, mentions of blood, mentions/implications of violence — read with caution. 」

"don't touch that!"

crash!

"oops. :("

"oops? that's all you have to say- don't give me that look."

":("

"fuck you."

"ohhh, i like the sound of that-"

you groan in frustration, rubbing your throbbing temple. pieces of a broken flower pot lie carelessly on the tiled floor—a flower pot that was meant to house your newly grown Daffodils if someone could keep his hands to himself.

he frowns at your distress, snaking an arm over your shoulders to pull you in. his free hand rests snugly on the small of your back. right where it belongs.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart. i'll get you a new one, okay?"

you shake your head, making your way through the array of potted plants within your shop. once your hand grasps the familiar wooden handle of your broom, you reply.

"no. it's alright. i can just order another one; it wasn't that expensive, anyway."

he hums, looking through his phone. at this point, you know he hadn't listened to a single word you said. he's been your closest friend for years. by now, he's probably-

"i got you a new set. they'll arrive in a few days. is that alright, honey?"

-already ordered another one. actually, he ordered more. you don't even need that many pots right now! you can feel another headache settling in.

"okay, whatever. what are you doing here, anyway?"

you sweep up the sad pieces of the flower pot, sending your Daffodils an apologetic look. 'i'm so sorry, my babies. i'll get you a new home soon, i promise.'

he watches the exchange, eyes squinting. you're no stranger to the look. you've seen it more times than you could count on two hands.

or, well, you assume that was the case. you're not really counting-

while you're cleaning his mess, the man in question leans idly on the counter.

'how strange,' he muses. he's seen the way you coddled your.. shrubs. for the last time, they're not shrubs!

maybe you were unknowingly born with the ability to talk to plants? or you simply have some form of connection with your babies, as you liked to call them.

or perhaps you've simply lost your mind ages ago, so you've convinced yourself that the shrubs- they aren't shrubs!!

-sorry, the not-shrubs could communicate.

wait, did you talk in his head?

you ignore his sudden confusion, opting to mourn over the loss of a perfectly good pot. fly high. you will be missed. after dumping the broken pot, you turn back to the insufferable man.

"you didn't really answer my question."

"what? am i not allowed to visit my favorite florist?"

"mind you, i am the only florist you know. besides, you're too busy to pay any unnecessary visits."

he laughs, muscles flexing as he pushes off the counter.

"alright, you got me. so you remember when i told you that i've found her?."

her? oh! he means his, uh, what did he call it? ah, right. his destined pair. pfft, that sounds cheesy as hell. why can't he be normal and say he fell in love?

"yeah? are you going to man up and tell her? you've been dancing around it for years; you haven't even introduced me yet!"

with a snort, he crosses his arms.

"well, sorry. i don't really find the need to introduce you."

eh? you take personal offense to that!

with a dramatic gasp, you clench the fabric of your top, right where your heart is.

"i've been your best friend for this long, dealing with your stupid ass for years, but you won't tell me who the love of your life is? i see how it is."

he smiles, "i.. don't think we'll still be friends after i tell you.."

what?

"don't tell me, is it my sworn enemy!? i can't believe you would settle for that-"

he denies it immediately, face scrunching in disgust.

"absolutely not. i would sooner choose to marry a horse."

you crack up at that, clutching your stomach as you laugh.

his eyes soften with a small grin. sometimes, he wonders what he'd done to deserve you.

you, with eyes that light up every time you see him. with that smile stretching your lips into a carefree curve; delighted and so full of life. you fill his heart with an immeasurable amount of love. if only you know what you do to him.

everything about you is so perfect. you're mesmerizing. you're his everything.

but he's not the only one.

just thinking of all the eyes who've dared to look at you..

his smile falls.

if only he could gauge their eyes out; or better yet, he could keep you all to himself. he'd mark you as his own, give you everything you could ever want or need. it isn't hard for him to do as he pleased.

but at what cost? you wouldn't be happy. you would hate him. but worst of all, he would hurt you.

and he couldn't hurt you. never.

and yet, as he watched a customer—another man—flirt with you, he couldn't help but rethink his choices. would it be better for him to take you, after all?

his eyes darken.

you're stuck.

after you had closed the shop, you were forced down.

he held your trembling wrists, firmly pressing them against the counter. 'his hands are cold,' you noted, breath hitching as he stared you down.

"look, i know i said 'fuck you' earlier, but i didn't mean for you to actually do so-"

"shut up."

you did.

he was mad, you could tell. frustrated, even.

why? did you do something wrong? were you being too mean earlier? did he find the secret stash of snacks you've been hiding from him-

you squeak when he hauls you up by the waist, fully lying you against the wide counter instead of the previous awkward position.

"w-wait, seriously, we can talk about this-"

you're cut off when he grips your chin, roughly forcing your eyes to meet his own.

"you know i don't like it when you avoid my eyes."

he's only an inch away from your face; his stare holds an intense wave of emotions. they swirl within his eyes, almost unreadable to you—but one stands out.

you lean your forehead against his, facing him head on. you don't avoid his eyes. you're not scared of looking directly at him, even in this situation. that might be another one of the reasons why he's fallen so hard.

"why're you hurting?"

his eyes crinkle as he grins. such a sweet human. no matter the circumstance, you never lose your heart. do you not find him threatening? he stares at the guilty little twinkle in your eyes. how can one be so cute.

you're not making this any easier for him, are you? he can barely control himself as is.

your eyes catch a glint, honing onto his sharp fangs.

what-

"ah, the cat's out of the bag."

his voice sends shivers down your spine, and unconsciously, you move back.

he doesn't allow it, however, as he guides you closer. his fingers draw up your leg, leaving a trail of heat despite the contrasting temperature of his hand.

he stops at your thigh, pulling it up to his hip.

he's so fucking close.

"i can feel you shaking, sweetheart. are you scared?"

you shake your head, but he's already caught the traces of fear that linger on your features.

"lying is a sin, love. weren't you the one who taught me that?"

the next moment is a blur.

he leans down, fangs poking the skin of your neck. dread settles into the pit of your stomach. the fear comes after; and then the panic sets in.

but it's already too late.

you whimper, biting your lip to distract you from the pure, unadulterated pain. your trembling hands find their way to the back of his shirt, tightly clutching the fabric.

you don't even realize that you're crying until he rubs your cheek, and you feel the tears sliding against your skin.

his fangs sink deeper, and the agonizing pain melts away, replaced with a growing heat in your abdomen. you stifle a moan, the metallic taste of your blood lingering on your bitten lip.

he keeps you against the counter, a hand tracing circles on your waist. suddenly, you're not scared anymore. your heart beats erratically, but you find nothing out of place. in fact, everything feels right.

a headache surfaces, and you groan into his shoulder as he pulls away. a drop of blood trails down your neck, but he licks it off. you shiver, feeling hyperaware of every movement.

he smiles at your dazed state. he rubs your head, pulling you closer when you bury yourself in his chest, nuzzling into his embrace.

his eyes trail down to the mark on your neck, and he grins with pride; kissing your temple.

you'll probably be mad when you're not dazed anymore..

no matter, he'll make it up to you later. right now, he can't wait to take you home.

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