#kim seokjin x yn
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Down The Rabbit Hole | KSJ
Pairing: Seokjin x reader (nicknamed Fawn)
Wordcount: 12.5k
Genre: one shot, pwp, smut, fluff, only mild angst, fwb au (?) kinda(?)?, divorced! seokjin, dilf!seokjin
Rating: 18+, minors please do not read or interact
Synopsis: Seokjin has been meeting Fawn at The Rabbit Hole for a while now. A place of debauchery and foregone inhibitions, and yet only one rule would not budge. Will Fawn finally have a taste of the forbidden fruit?
Warnings: DILF!Seokjin (it's a trigger warning in and of itself), oral sex (female receiving, attempt at male receiving), masturbation (female receiving), degradation kink, corruption kink, handcuffs, sex toys (vaginal sphere), dry humping, unprotected sex, cockwarming, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, breast slapping, voyeurism & exhibitionism. Mentions of divorce procedures, mentions of Seokjin's three precious daughters. Brief cameo of our lovely darlings Namjoon & Mia.
As always, thanking the magical girlie that made this fic a bit more coherent @nervous-moon and the special friends that made me get here. Also, a special thank you to past me, who persevered and got off birth control for this fic LOL
As always, please remember that showing some love to fics will power authors through the major struggles of this platform and will eventually make them write bigger, better, bolder fics 💕
You’ve known Seokjin for two months. He’s stunning, he’s smart, he’s friendly and adorably chirpy — before the games begin.
Here's my masterlist, enjoy you spicy little nuggets
Read more of this AU | MYG | KNJ
You’ve known Seokjin for two months. He’s stunning, he’s smart, he’s friendly and adorably chirpy — before the games begin.
Once you’re in the room, the sweet father-of-three turns into a man with no restraints. He has an appetite for all things cunning and controlling.
He tells you how to do things. He tells you when, for how long. Harder, faster, rougher, deeper.
He always asks for more,
He is insatiable and ruthless.
However, despite what that introduction might make it sound, there’s so much more of him you haven’t had: all your previous encounters were only foreplay.
His list of previous inhibitions was so long that in two three-hour-long sessions you hadn’t yet tackled anything regarding his dick inside your vagina — truly a shame, since that’s a perfectly beautiful, perfectly thick, perfectly long dick, and you would know since you’ve acquainted with it through your hands, mouth and boobs.
Seokjin is the most promising man you’ve never had sex with; that is, you’ve had sex with plenty of mediocre men, and a couple good ones, you’ve double checked handfuls of men on the streets, but he’s by far the one you can bet will give you the ride of your life. You don’t know why, you just know.
And maybe, if you’re lucky enough, that will happen tonight.
“Here’s my pretty fawn,” he says once he notices you at a corner table, out of the main floor where people are starting to mingle. He kisses the too of your head. “How were these weeks apart?”
“Hi,” you tell him, and from the little somersault of your rib cage, you can tell the distance did make the heart grow fonder. “It was chaotic, but I survived.”
“You’re a tough cookie, Fawn. By now you should know there’s nothing you can’t overcome if you put your mind to it,” he says, proud, reassuring.
It’s the same tone he uses for ‘you take it so well” and ‘that’s my golden girl’ and ‘come on, Fawn, just one more, sweetheart’.
You melt. You know you melt, and your body betrays you because you can feel the heaviness in your lower belly, and you can tell that your core will be coated in wetness in about eight seconds.
“As for my past few days, I’ve been busy, as usual.”
“How are the girls?” you ask, eager to imagine more bits of them.
“Lily is turning ten next week, as I told you. Rose is getting better at biking, and soon we’ll be able to go for short outings in public together, And then darling Daisy has just called a truce with spinach so we have added one more ingredient to our weekly rotation.” As Seokjin talks about his daughters, something in his face lights up and you can imagine the man he must be outside these walls, far from the reign of debauchery he slips into once every other week. A dedicated man, committed, domestic, devoted. He smiles when he talks about his girls, his whole world brightens, like they were his personal constellation showing him the way.
“Did you recover from our last session?” he asks, concerned, meek, respectful. He is so kind to you, always.
“I did…” You keep it vague because telling him that you've been laying on your back, fucking yourself with your largest toy, gasping and hiccuping his name doesn't feel like a productive angle for an answer. Not the kind of answer you want to give him in public anyways.
“Any notes about what we did last time? Anything relevant we should renegotiate?”
I want us to walk through the door tonight and I want you to throw me on the bed, bend me over, lift my skirt and fuck me straight up, because you are the reason I'm going commando under this effing tight dress, you try to tell him with your eyes, the tilt of your head, the little lick of your lips and the light bite at your lower one.
“No, nothing relevant, really.”
He stares at your mouth for a hot second, and you can only hope he's thinking about the last time he's come on it.
“So you want…” He hesitates as he thinks about the next step. “You wanna keep this foreplay only.”
You cock an eyebrow at him, then you take a sip of your drink, and click your tongue a couple times, as if trying to savour the wine. “You're the one in command. You know that.”
“I command you when you're naked. And you're dressed now, alas.” He cocks an eyebrow right back at you, mirroring your sarcastic snare. “And this is a matter of consent and limits, which means we're equals right now. The games haven't yet begun, Fawn.”
You look around, as if the other clients could possibly help you in this situation.
You want him, you're dying to have him, and if he could bend you over, spank you and fuck you right over one of the entrance tables, you'd let him.
You'd probably also let him come inside, or do other slightly demeaning acts to humiliate you.
“We can play it however it lays, no pressure.” That's what you tell him, really trying not to betray your true intentions.
“Do you, or do you not?” he asks, and you do feel pressured.
“What do you want me to say?” You provoke him, staring him down. “Because this is sounding like you have indeed an answer you want to hear from me.”
He shakes his head, exasperated. “Fawn. You don't usually struggle with telling me what you want. You want foreplay or you want us to fuck?”
“Either is fine. We'll see that later.” You down more of your drink and he stares at your throat as you swallow. You catch him staring and you feel heat creep to your cheeks, but you’re not embarrassed, rather pleased with his distraction.
Too bad you’re not him and you can’t tell he’s been sizzling with want for days. He’s been separated for years now, but with the divorce practice being completed in a few weeks, he’d been more tense than usual. He knows he’s doing the right thing leaving his marriage behind, however the idea of raising three daughters alone, and giving his ex-wife the chance to start the kind of life she’s been too ashamed to pursue is terrifying.
Lily, Rose and Daisy are the joy of his life, but soon Lily will enter adolescence and her mother will be there for her, sure, but he’s been the one consistently raising them for the past five years, almost turning into a stay-at-home dad for them, while Ara was busy rebuilding her career and travelling and saving money to afford moving out by herself.
He supported her. Their marriage had ended for all the best — though most painful — reasons: they didn’t love each other anymore, not as partners at least. He could tell she was no longer happy, she hadn’t been since Rose had been born. Daisy was probably the last straw. He’d rather have his girls having a happy mother than have a miserable spouse for himself and a mediocre parent for his children. And he knew the girls would learn the right lesson from this: you can only be loved right when the one you love knows how to love themselves.
Plus, he could tell he hadn’t been loving Ara right for a while. He could bring himself to stay loyal to her and respect her and be there for her; still, he also knew he owed himself actual happiness, and he would be a coward if he refused to go look for it because he was afraid of not finding it, or getting hurt in the process.
And now you’ve entered the picture. He’s seen a bunch of people before you, but he knew they weren’t quite right — he’d even issued post-session feedback where he stated he didn’t want to be matched again with two of the women he’d spent the night with.
He’d entered the Rabbit Hole with the purpose of some light-hearted fun with other adults who, like him, had already seen a fair share of life and could also have the same mature and intellectual approach towards intimacy.
A friend of his had driven him here after a particularly bad date with a woman almost twelve years younger than him who seemed more interested in being the girls’ mother than his girlfriend first.
Being honest, he’d spotted you the first time he’d seen you at the Rabbit Hole, but he’d never pursued you because he believed in the system matching him according to his profile. He assumed you wanted something off-limits to him — maybe you were into getting your partner tied up, or leashed like a pet, or entirely enslaved — but apparently it was just a matter of letting the match play itself.
It happened around his fifth or sixth party: he had entered the foyer thinking he would once more spend his pregame staring at you from the opposite table, drinking, getting riled up at the thought of you kneeling before him, his dick in your mouth. He had fixed his trousers and headed to the room at the sound of the bell, and a few minutes later, as the lock turned and the door opened, he had found you there, with your pretty doll mouth and your plush cheeks and your round, doe eyes, innocence personified.
“What are you thinking?” you ask him, your fingers tracing his elbow, calling for his attention.
He shakes his head. “I’m thinking of the first time we matched.”
You smile, then catch your lower lip between your teeth. “Interesting.”
He takes hold of your hand, so gentle, then caresses your knuckles, the touch as shy as a whisper. “What did you think of it?”
“The first time I saw you?” you ask, curious and surprised at his question.
He nods and you giggle, embarrassed. “I had caught you staring a few times before. I was intrigued.”
He gives a bright, although secret smile, and his fingers flirt with yours, dancing in between each other. The mere touch of his hand against your own is turning you on.
“I was wondering if I’d ever match with you. If we didn’t because you were into hardcore stuff, or maybe you wanted to dominate and I was not… I’m not submissive.” His eyes play hide and seek with yours, as if he were ashamed.
“Well… That gives…” You let him hang in that pause for a few seconds, then give him the word, “It’s a new perspective.” You can feel him exhale in relief at that. “I wanted to see what you were into too. Too bad we were too shy to approach each other.”
“But apparently we were meant to meet.”
“Just a matter of time…” you tease him.
That night, when you’d first met, you’d clicked immediately. In less than fifteen minutes, you were kissing, and within that first half hour, you’d never been happier to be naked with a man.
He was attentive, touching and kissing places that almost no one had ever paid attention to. He tickled the back of your knees, and pressed the plush petals of his lips to the arch of your feet. He nipped at the edge of your ribs, and licked at the small dip at your hip, where the sinew of your quad attaches to the bone of your hip crest. He tugged at your earlobe with his teeth and dipped the tip of his tongue at the twin hollows at the base of your spine.
When they talk about being worshipped like you were the only woman left on the face of earth, that’s probably what they mean.
It made you really generous — the kind of generous that makes you end up on your knees with a very messy mouth.
It was surprising, how you went on for one full hour dragging pleasure out of each other in an almost torturing way, so close to him entering you, and never doing so.
At the end of that, you’d suggested staying till morning, but he’d explained how he was a single dad and he really should be there in the morning.
“And that second time?” you tell him.
He blushes to the tip of his ears and it makes you giggle sweetly.
You’d entered the room already fully immersed in your role. You’d called him sir, made it clear you were his efficient, loyal assistant who’d been nursing a crush on him for so long. And he’d been playing along phenomenally, barking orders at you, and fucking your mouth, praising you so sweetly while mascara tears ran down your cheeks — just to draw a line when it came to him using you to cheat on his wife.
The fantasy had been brusquely interrupted when you realised he could actually be cheating — he was a father after all, from what you’d understood. He was quick to explain he’d been separated and that was the best decision he and his ex-wife had taken; and he’d shown his interest in your game by returning to it by saying how his sweet secretary had come into his life to make him realise he’d never truly had passion with his wife.
“You were surprising,” he admits. “Unexpectedly resourceful.”
Tonight the bell can’t ring soon enough. You just want to drag him to a dark corner and cover him in you. You want to rub yourself against him, all over him. You want to see him covered in your own wetness, and the lack of panties is only making you more sensitive.
“Would you do it again? A little roleplay?” you ask him.
He arches both eyebrows. “I thought I was clear about it. Adamantly, yes.”
“Hi there,” you hear, and turn around to be faced with two familiar faces. Right there, remnants of your third encounter with Seokjin.
Namjoon and his Mia, the latest hype of the club. They’d been performing together for some months now, and everyone said their sessions were something else entirely. You and Seokjin had started your third encounter by watching them in the voyeur area; there, they could perform within the three walls of a private room and a large two-way mirror, behind which people could watch those who consensually exhibited their encounters.
“Lovely to see you, Mia,” you hugged the woman and kissed her on both cheeks. It could have been awkward to interact with someone you’ve watched having sex, but with her — maybe also thanks to the environment of the club — it was liberating, almost exciting.
Meanwhile Namjoon and Seokjin shook hands, starting to chat with ease.
“So, how’s it going with your wet dream prince?” she asks, knowing perfectly well how long you’ve been pining for Seokjin. “Is he worth the hype?”
Your expression could be the definition of ‘the cat that got the cream’.
“Girl, tone it down a notch,” Mia says playfully, hitting your arm. “Is it getting official or is it a no work all play kind of game?”
Your grin tones down a little. “He’s a father, Mia. He has obligations.”
Her face looks entirely sympathetic. “I see. But there’s nothing wrong with asking, you know? If you’re interested…”
“I’ve got no interest in getting my heart broken,” you say, your tone final. “He needs to focus on his girls and only wants to relax and be selfish when he comes in here. I don’t want to be a burden.”
Mia shrugs and gives you a little curl of her lip. “I don’t think he sees you as a burden, but you should check that out. In person.”
“There’s other stuff I want to see in person, but it’s been…” You lower your voice to a whisper. “We’ve only kinda foreplayed so far.”
Mia tips her head to the side a little, as if confused. “Well. That's interesting. I mean, foreplay is the main act, if you ask me about it. I think—” She turns to the side and addresses Namjoon, “Darling, what would you think if we only did foreplay, no sex?”
You feel your entire head explode with shame, and you assume Seokjin is having a similar reaction.
“I would think you really like foreplay, or — given that this context calls for transgression — you've probably been raised to think that foreplay is taboo. Maybe it's something you've been deprived of, and here you want to claim it back.” Namjoon's hand lands on the small of Mia's back and from the way her eyes roll closed and her lips part softly, you can tell that his touch has a certain influence on her. “I know I don't usually deprive you of it, quite the contrary, but if it's affecting you so gravely tonight, then I might as well deliver.”
You look at Seokjin and he's giving you a certain look that you can't quite interpret.
“You know, if my partner only wanted foreplay, I would simply assume that they really like it,” adds Seokjin, his gaze rolling off of you as he continues. “And that maybe sex is a meaningful experience to them, and they really want to work out all the kinks in it.”
You stare at him, entirely too surprised at his comment, but he's looking at Namjoon this time.
The man is giving him a sombre, polished look and you understand his appeal — too bad you've been captured in Seokjin’s orbit a long time ago.
Within that expectant pause, the bell finally rings.
Namjoon can't put his hands on Mia fast enough. The woman is thrown over his shoulder as soon as the bell stops ringing, and he's taking large strides towards the private wing.
“Guess tonight is not for show,” you murmur, then turn to Seokjin.
You're afraid he's going to chastise you for your confession to Mia, but he doesn't. He's giving you a blank look, his mind impenetrable.
For a moment you think he's going to deny you, and frankly you wouldn't be too mad. He would be entirely too right, after you violated his trust and his privacy.
“Seokjin, I—”
“Behind closed doors, Fawn.” And he leaves you there.
If you had any chance of going through this unpunished, that chance withered right about now — or rather, a minute ago with the ring of the bell. That's the signal for his personality switch and he's just flipped from cute and quirky father to demanding and domineering sex god.
You watch him enter the private wing alone, and you can only hope for your room key to be matching his.
Five agonising minutes later, you realise it does, and it takes you only half a second to realise that you're tragically unprepared for what's waiting for you.
“On your knees,” he orders as soon as you walk through the door. “We're gonna bruise them tonight, Fawn.”
You obey, any objection dead on the verge of your lips.
“I thought I'd been clear about my intentions last time.”
He had been, fairly so. He'd addressed the foreplay situation and he'd planned on going all the way, which was still sort of new to him, especially considering that he'd been with only three women except his ex wife. And then again, most of that stuff wasn't too daring an experience. He felt a little under pressure with you, and he knew he couldn't quite yet control himself when it came to seeing you naked, much less touching you.
He had been taking his sweet time when his phone had started blaring. He'd taken five, maybe six seconds to understand what was happening, and then he'd dashed off you, picking up the phone.
You'd been too confused to understand, and even when he explained, it took you five lonely and cold minutes abandoned alone on the bed to realise he'd left.
Rose had apparently caught lice from a classmate, the nanny was on the verge of burning the house to the ground and Lily and Daisy were quite panicked by what was going on. Before you could get dressed, he was already on his way home doing damage control.
“I have responsibilities, Fawn. You know that. I wouldn't have answered that phone call, and I would have taken proper care of you if it had been an option.” He lowers to you on the ground, pleased with the way your eyes look like dark beads of obsidian in the softly lit room.
He was probably the one who asked for the fireplace to be lit and for a velvety alcove to be prepared right in front of it.
“And I meant it when I said I wanted something special with you.” He grips your chin, angling your face so that the light from the fireplace can caress the apple of your cheek in a way that makes it most biteable. “I meant it when I said I want to do this right. We can have that now.”
You lick your lips, trying to smoothen the ugly feeling of a dry mouth. It's hard to think and talk at the same time.
“I appreciate that you're there for your girls, I just wish you hadn't left me hanging.” You sit on your heels, then shift on all fours and crawl a flirty half step his way, your lashes like expensive and seductive fans of ostrich feathers luring him in, caressing the most tender spots of his body with your gaze.
You're pleased to notice he's entirely charmed by your allure.
“I won't deny you tonight, fawn,” he says. “I might as well give it to you right away.” His hand dives for your hair and grips it at the base, giving two subtle and suggestive tugs. You feel a low purr emerge from your throat and he smiles. “Welcome back, my naughty girl.”
You crawl one more step in the direction he drew you to, and he understands that you got his message. He rises to his feet, then dives his fingers once more in your hair and leads you to the plush lair sprawled in front of the fire.
“Such an obedient little pet,” he praises you. “I wonder what you got for me tonight.”
He's used to sexy little lingerie numbers — stuff with lots of lace and lots of ribbons. What he's not expecting is for you to drop your chest to the floor, arch your ass up in the air and expose your naked, blooming folds. “I thought I might surprise you for the night.”
Seokjin takes a few seconds to realise there's no g-string, no thong, no wicked contraption waiting to trick him.
Just naked truth, wet, warm skin, laying there for him to claim.
“Naughty indeed.” He kneels behind you, and he's tempted to rub himself against you and slip inside you after you've begged and prayed and cried for a while; however, he's under the impression that's exactly the game you want him to play.
So he simply sinks his teeth into your ass cheek, then licks the bite away.
“Stay right there.” And he disappears.
Footsteps echo around the room, then you hear the slide of a drawer.
He's probably choosing his instrument for the night, and you're aching to turn around and see what he's inspecting.
You'd also pay good money to know what he felt when he found you naked.
You'd mostly pay all the money to know what it takes to lose a man like him.
But that's another story, one that you don't intend to follow, especially since Seokjin is returning to you.
“We're gonna train you for me.” He kneels behind you and the feel of something extremely cold against your folds causes you to arch your spine up to the ceiling, your pelvis moving away from the sensation.
Seokjin, however, is merciless. With his forearm braced against the middle of your spine, he forces you to arch your spine back down, your entrance bared to him in a lewd, unmistakable way.
“I want to fuck you with my tongue. You look like dessert covered in icing. You're gleaming with arousal.” And as he talks, he keeps sliding the sphere up and down your folds, your skin so disturbingly sensitive.
At some point, your hips escape your control and you tilt your ass further up to the ceiling, chasing Seokjin's hand in hope he'll offer you some reprieve.
But he doesn't.
Instead he slides something warm and thin inside you, that wiggles and then unfortunately, sadly retreats.
You only have the time for a hiccup of disappointment before he returns to toy with your folds.
Seokjin watches you writhe as he sucks on the finger he just extracted from your cunt. It makes him feel powerful, but most importantly, it makes him feel alive. It makes him feel wanted.
It makes him feel like his own needs matter, that he comes first, which is not an ordinary feeling for a father of three.
He loves this about you: you put his needs first and you don't make him feel bad about it — that is, he doesn't feel bad about coming first with you. Maybe that's also the reason why he's reluctant about introducing you to his family life. He doesn't need a nanny, or a cook or a housekeeper. He just wants someone he can enjoy those crumbles of spare time he has for himself.
He freezes.
Someone to date.
Realisation is like a mirror shattering to the floor, each shard reflecting one different aspect of him. Father, ex-husband, manager, employer and employee, overachiever, knight-in-shining-armour, but also, somewhere, needy, dark overlord.
He is all of that. And he is curious about seeing whichever many ways you can stand by his side in every role.
“Seokjin,” you whisper, barely a moan. You try to lift your hand from where it fell before, abandoned on the lush carpet below you, but it lands again, and grips whatever it can as he slips one sphere inside.
“There, Fawn. What is it?” He chuckles and the sound that follows — the silvery tinkling of a belt — is like mockery to your ears.
“Bet this isn’t enough, huh?” He stares at you, at your position on the floor, cheek pressed to the carpet, dress pulled up, and shakes his head. He’d never have thought he could enjoy this, and yet… He loves this. He’s hard from this.
He kneels down, rotulae hitting the floor with a mildly disturbing thud. He rolls up the hem of his button down, dick so hard it’s reaching his navel. He grips your hip and pulls you closer, the heat of your ass slamming against his hips.
You gasp. It’s finally happening, you tell yourself.
“Why so quiet, darling?” he says, bending over, speaking against the shell of your ear. “I thought you’d at least thank me, you know?”
Rubbing your ass against him gives you a rough estimation of how he’d fit against you, inside you.
He teases his tip against your entrance, slow and wet. The sound of it is slick and lewd, and he can swear it’s the best he’s ever had.
“Please,” you manage to squeak out, so pathetic, and even needier than that.
He makes a weird sound in his throat, like a muffled groan, and it makes you even wetter. As your muscles clench, you feel the sphere inside you readjust, massaging a different corner of your inner walls, and it steals a hum of pleasure out of you, a guttural sound, something as animalistic as your current position.
“Just the tip,” you beg, your voice weak, frayed at the edges.
You expect him to mock you and deprive you, but the heat of him corrects its trajectory and it’s right up against your centre.
“How can I not…” he murmurs. “You’re here. Ass up like a bitch in heat.”
Heat bubbles to your cheeks and your back arches even further, offering yourself up. You’re even more embarrassed, but there’s no need to run from him.
Not after you’ve seen his eyes flicker, wicked, as he cleaned your orgasm from his chin with the back of his hand; not after he’s stuck his fingers in your mouth, his cum still dripping from them, in an attempt to quiet you down from screaming his name through your orgasm.
“I can’t wait to see how dirtier you can get,” he tells you, then grabs your earlobe with his teeth, tugging a little.
Saying you grind yourself against him is the largest understatement you could ever concoct. You hump in the most unmistakable way you can. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. How much longer do you want me to—?”
And he dips in. Just dips, really. Only the tip. “God. Tight,” he gasps.
You try to push yourself up against him, make him sink deeper, faster. You want to ride him. You want to be the one doing the fucking.
He can lay back and enjoy, for all that matters — you’re sure you can bounce on his dick until your thighs cramp and you collapse on his chest. And at that point, if he hasn’t come yet, you’re pretty sure you can roll over and he can take over.
“Too greedy, my pretty fawn.”
And he moves back. Away.
“You’re gonna make me fold, Fawn,” he whispers. “Too soon.”
And he stands. And there’s that silvery tickling again.
“No,” you cry out. You turn and rise, just in time to catch him tucking his shirt in.
Your ass plops down to rest on your heels and you feel tears of frustration bubble up against your lower lashes. “No, please.”
“Too soon, sweet cheeks. Now get back in position.”
You frown. “But—”
“Fawn, darling.” He gives you a patient look, so sweet, so understanding.
God, he must be such a good dad, you think for half a second. “But Jin—”
“You know I’m gonna take care of you. Now, if you do as I tell you, we can get this—”
Something vicious snarls inside you. You’re not sure where it comes from, but you bark out, “No.”
Seokjin arches one beautiful eyebrow. “Come again, darling?”
“I said no.”
“Bend over, Fawn.”
You can barely keep a straight face as you finally say, “Make me.”
Seokjin shakes his head. He knows he’s gonna love this. “That's it.” On the inside he's glowing with joy, but he cannot show that, he must punish you.
Except he knows you love this too.
He grabs your hair and moves you so that he can make sure you're not going to hurt yourself if you fall: he will be cuffing your hands behind your back, which means you wouldn’t be able to stop your fall if you were to lose your balance, and he needs to be careful.
You're still kneeling on the ground when he lowers himself and uses his own torso to push your own to the plush carpet in front of the fireplace.
“And now stay. You're playing with fire, Fawn.”
You feel him step back and remove himself, and you're tempted to disregard his petty request and follow him to the drawer.
Except you don't, because you know you're already getting what you wanted. And you can still rouse him later if he's not sufficiently harsh.
“God to know you can still follow a basic, easy order, darling.” The first cuff snaps around your left wrist, and he slips two fingers between your flesh and the metal to make sure it isn't too tight on you. He repeats the same procedure with the other wrist, and the gentle way he checks makes you want to submit immediately.
He suspends the scene just enough to kiss your palm before caressing the curve of your bottom. “If you want to safeword, remember it's your right, and you can do so at any moment,” he reminds you, practical and kind.
“I will if I need to,” you say, reassuring him, but also trying to move on to the actual scene.
“Good. Cause I want you to remember about tonight every time you walk or sit in the next three days.”
Your stomach knots, awaiting, and you wiggle your ass in the air, your torso still disappointingly clothed. “All I hear is empty threats.”
That's when the first slap hits.
It's Seokjin's hand against your ass, but it's harsh and angry, and you know you're going to get exactly what you wanted.
The impact makes your insides clench, and the sphere shifts against your inner walls.
You hum in pleasure, your fingers twitching as you try to make the sensation bearable.
It's truly torture. You're wet, and this weight inside you keeps massaging you, taunting you suggestively.
“This what you want?” Seokjin asks you, and you nod, knowing that you can tell him, you can trust him. That he will give you more of it because this is all about trusting each other, and giving each other pleasure, and just—
“Fawn. I swear I'm gonna fuck you tonight. But for the love of fuck I need to take the edge off myself or I'm gonna be pathetic.”
You're currently spooning on all fours, you propped on your knees, breastbone and cheek, while he’s caging you in from above, his thighs bracketing yours, one of his arms pinned just beside your shoulder, the other hand free to roam.
And right now it lands right on your pubic bone, the ball of his palm resting right against your pelvis. The moment he starts drawing slow circles on your clit, finding just the right spot, your body gives in, and some grinding resumes.
“You're so fucking hard,” you tell him, and you know just how banal your statement is, but historically, you're not usually smart when he's coercing orgasms out of you, especially with his fingers.
You grow dumb.
Your brain can only focus on sensation.
And there's the sphere situation happening too, just to complicate this further.
“I told you I need to take the edge off.”
“You can come on me, you know?”
He chuckles. “Oh darling, that one you'd made clear already.” He registers your sharp inhale and moves more delicately. “Do you need me to slow down?”
It makes you snort a little petty laugh. “No, it's just—” You release an exhale and move against him more openly, unbridled and luxuriant. “It's strange with the sphere.”
“I just want you to be all relaxed and warmed up when I slip inside you,” he tells you.
“And I think I'll have to get you some kegel balls. So you can train during the week, when we don't meet.” He kisses your spine and your eyes roll closed.
All you need is the sensations he's giving you, your body awakening piece by piece. It's like every molecule of you is finding new meaning, new depth, new sensitivity.
You've never been so aware of each muscle pulling taut.
“Seokjin,” you whisper, and he hums, he realises you called him and he replies simply, but neither of you can really string words together at this point.
“Jin… If you—” You're trying to connect word after word, looking for meaning, but your tongue is uncooperative, and you can't quite make sounds into words.
You want him to keep going. You really do.
But you also need to take one or fifteen breaths because this is getting too good — maybe too important too. Because you want him now, but it also dawns on you, quite rudely, that you want him all the time. That you've been thinking about him too much lately, even when it's a silly sweet nothing like ordering pizza or washing the sheets.
What kind of pizza does he like most?
Would he like the smell of my sheets? Would he find them too light? Too warm? Not soft enough?
Does he shower warm or cold?
He moans your name and you shake your thoughts awake — as awake and aware as you can be underneath him.
“Are you close?” he asks, and you know you are, but you can't quantify how long it's going to take you. You were closer for sure before your thoughts had wandered towards the day-to-day life of him.
It's so strange that you would need to focus to stay tethered to your own pleasure; however, quite disappointingly, that's the way it seems.
“I don't know,” you tell him, not bothering to hide your perplexity.
“Okay,” he says calmly, then he sucks at the curve of your neck, where it meets your shoulder. “I'll be good,” he says, like a promise.
You're not used to this amount of patience from him, to this pliability.
He lifts off of you, his thigh still aligned with yours as his torso separates from your back, then suddenly a liquid coldness spreads over your ass cheeks, and you feel him shudder.
You turn, curiosity picked by that unexpected feeling, and you spot a bottle of lubricant in your peripherals. Makes sense.
His hands immediately land on your glutes, spreading the liquid, and he hisses as his dick meets the cold.
Soon, however, the lube is warmed by the heat of your own skin and he finds himself grinding against you, needy and rough. He grabs at your hips guiding you as you move up against him.
“Touch yourself, Fawn,” he orders, and you don't make him tell you twice.
The idea of him using your body, and finding pleasure in it, and marking it as his own arouses you desperately.
You want to be his, and you want to pleasure him. You want to be the thought he conjures about next time he's had a rough day and simply wants to jerk off. You want to be the one he dreams about while he's lost in his huge bed, humping a pillow in his sleep. You want to be the reason he's late in the morning because he caught a thought of you in the shower and he couldn't keep his hands to himself.
Ultimately, you want to be the reason why this accomplished, bright man gets a little messy once in a while.
You want to be the motive behind his little crimes. You want to be his gateway to temporary thoughtlessness. You want him to be as human, as fallible, as exhausted, as despicable as he needs to be and never allows himself to be.
You wish to liberate him.
“I'm gonna—” The words die on his lips as he finally spills against you, your orgasm once more incumbent but also far removed, as if that very close destination could only be reached by an impractically long journey.
You hear him come, disappointed by the lack of closeness between the two of you, by the fact that this position doesn't allow you to kiss his mouth, or quieten him down, or watch him frantically reach for your breast with his lips so he can muffle his cries against your chest.
“I thought I had more in me,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
You assume he's referring to this night. Maybe he's done. Maybe he's not thinking about you at all.
Maybe he just wants to be serviced, and he's realised just now, and you're on your way to be dismissed.
“It's okay,” you tell him, but you're pretty sure your disappointment bled through the words. Your logical brain is telling you that he’s just referring to coming this fast and not dealing with you first, but you’ve discovered you’re not strong on logic when it comes to him.
Too bad you can’t tell what he’s thinking. He’s embarrassed, and breathless, and truly madly deeply blaming himself for putting you through such a sorry mess.
Such a disappointment.
He wants to make it up to you. And he starts doing so with slow, gentle kisses on your nape, a gentle caress of his fingertips moving your hair to the side.
Dammit, he loves your hair. So soft, and always smelling like vanilla.
It makes him want to keep you on his lap all the time, so he can dive his nose in it when he’s feeling stressed, inhale you and get high from it.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says simply, studying the viola-like shape of your torso, still wrapped in the tight fabric of your dress. His hands glide reverently from the edges of your shoulders to the narrowing of your waist, admiring your back, then slide to your navel, on your front, climbing back up so he can cup the roundness of your breasts. “The geometry of you… If you could see yourself…”
He can’t ever bring himself to finish one damn thought. The sight of you gives him no reprieve: he’s entirely overstimulated by everything you offer to him, defeated, even, by it.
His fingers tease your nipples through your dress and your insides clench from it, the kegel ball rolling inside you and making you purr from him. He smiles and brings himself back on track.
No distractions this time, he scolds himself, and his body bows off of you. He backs up slowly, unrushed pecks of his lips climbing down the ladder of your vertebrae, and in the meanwhile he undoes the handcuffs.
You would maybe complain if it weren’t for the fact that you trust him with your own pleasure, blindly.
When the salt of his spilled orgasm meets his parted lips, he lets his tongue slip out, giving a full sweep of a lick, lush, wet and hot.
You shudder. “What you up to?” you ask, surprised, confused, almost coherent.
“Just a casual snack,” he murmurs against your wet skin. “It’s not like I’m done with you here.”
You chuckle, nervous, but also thankful. Your heartbreak has been postponed. You push your body back, trying to move closer to him in whatever intuitive way you can. You turn your face on the other side as you know that by now there must be an imprint of the carpet against your cheek.
The blaze coming from the fireplace in the distance warms your face, and once your eyes roll closed, you realise just how pleasant it is to vaguely perceive the orange of the fire from the back of your eyelids. The flames whisper like lovers, like a hushed breathing sound, like exhales and inhales sharply syncopating each other. Then there’s the cracking of the logs, which perfectly echoes and alternates with the sound of Seokjin’s wet kisses, the clicking of his tongue, and the sucking.
The sensations come in so sharply in the empty space you’ve carved for yourself. It’s like you’ve muted the rest of the world except Seokjin and that eyeless voyeur that is the fire.
When Seokjin speaks again, it surprises you and causes a somersault to your stomach, for his voice his so deep and quiet and intimate. It’s the sexiest you’ve ever heard from him.
“Spread your pretty thighs for me, darling.”
You can tell you just gushed out more wetness at your core. That’s what he can get from you, just by using his voice alone.
As soon as you follow his order, he lays with his back on the floor, the width of his shoulders finding its slot in between your parted knees. His hands find your butt and he uses it to readjust your stance.
“Won't you give me just a taste, darling, please?” he says, and you adore just how imploring he is, but at the same time smooth and gallant too.
You love it when he asks you, all chivalrous, about treating you like his own personal slut.
He kisses the inside of your thigh and you find your thighs spreading even further, as you lower your hips a tiny inch closer to the floor — or rather, closer to his awaiting mouth.
“I swear I'm gonna beg if I have to, Fawn. Fucking please.”
He twists his head to the other side and bites the soft flesh on the inside of your leg. His teeth sink gently, sending sparks of pleasure all over your body. “Won't you put me out of my misery, darling?”
“I love it when you beg,” you admit, propping your front up on your elbows first, then on your palms. “It's different from your usual demanding self.”
Your eyes meet his and you notice a spark of uncertainty there. “Do you want me to be harsher? To command you?”
You smile meekly, fondly. “I like you best precisely the way you are.”
You can't see it in the penumbra, but heat has crept to his cheeks, and it's mostly your compliments' fault.
He grabs your waist, appreciating how easily his thumb and forefinger rest at its narrowest point, then invites you to lower your pelvis some more.
At this point, you find yourself more comfortable in a kneeling position, your chest lifted, your thighs in a slightly narrower stance as you lower your ass to his chest, your weight still partially held by your hands, propped on the floor near your knees.
He doesn't speak before he acts. He simply grabs your ass again and zeroes in with his lips on your clitoris.
Bliss is instantaneous.
He starts torturing you immediately with long sucking motions, driving you insane, and when you try to remove yourself, he doesn't allow you to.
Your brain immediately recalls your safeword, but you can't find the final straw that urges you to use it.
You're feeling pleasure— no, actually you are pleasure.
It blooms from you immediately, six or seven slow, stubborn licks after. You brace yourself for the tide rising, but you can't resist it anyway, and soon you find yourself fucking his face, so sexy as it appears in between your naked parted thighs, your dress still on, hitched up around your waist.
His eyes are closed, as if he were feeling it too. He’s the picture of passion, entirely dedicated, single-minded about your ecstasy.
As you’re coming down, you reach for his hair with your left hand, your fingers digging through his luscious locks, tugging just the way he likes, with intention, but also not too roughly. You expect him to back off, but he opens his eyes, stares at your open mouth, at your feverish gaze— and keeps going.
You swear as he starts veering into overstimulation, his nails digging in your ass.
Pleasure becomes pain, which feeds pleasure even further.
Fire blooms inside you, its many tongues setting each of your limbs ablaze.
The second orgasm comes with a scream — your own — and some moaning from Seokjin which only confirms a certain sense of accomplishment.
Meanwhile the kegel ball has warmed to your inner heat, your muscles constricting around it in a vicious grip, giving you that fullness that is enough to enhance your pleasure without truly fulfilling it.
“God, more, please…”
Seokjin chuckles, bathing your inner thighs in soft kisses and sweet little bites. “I love it when you call me god.”
You sit yourself back on his face and giggle. “Oh, shut up.”
His arms tighten like a vice around your legs, his hands pushing your dress further up, exposing the hill of your pelvis, just above the parting of your labia.
He lands some kisses there, sucking, enjoying the soft, plump skin, and the plumpness he leaves in his wake.
Heat rushes wild under the flesh he kisses, sensitivity heightened, capillaries blooming with fullness.
“Lower yourself to the floor, pretty thing,” he hums, and he’s so cruelly persuasive that you obey, your shoulders pressed to the back of your hands, elbows tucked in tight by the sides of your waist. “As low as you can, Fawn,” he recommends.
Once you do, he gives a powerful swing with his shoulders, causing you to swap positions so that your back ends up on the floor and he is finally on top of you.
“Back the way it's supposed to be,” he says, at once free to exercise all the control he needs. “I'm not even sure I need you naked,” he says, kissing your navel, the crests of your hips, the junction between your thighs and your hips.
He lifts the hem of your dress, the stretchy knit giving him room to stick his head under the fabric.
He attaches himself to your nipple as soon as he finds it, his hand climbing up to your chest and starting to toy with your other breast.
“You could also undress me, you know,” you tease him, but apparently he is really busy and your spine is arching off the floor, and you can feel the wetness of his mouth against the precious lace of your bra.
“Shut up,” he says, his voice lost in bliss, and he's moving the cup of your bra just below your breast, baring your nipple. “I'll be busy for the next three working days. Do not call me, email me, or text me. I'm worshipping nipples.”
You laugh and you suddenly clench at the way the laughing twists the sensation of his sucking your breast, making it a fluttery and yet intense feeling.
He gets his head out of your dress and kisses your neck instead. “I really like this dress,” he tells you. “I also really like the lack of panties, though that must have been slightly uncomfortable.”
“It felt a little bit weird, yes. I was afraid I was going to flash someone.”
He chuckles, then freezes. “You might have. Are you sure you haven't?”
Feeling him all serious, you become serious too. “I don't know?” You start worrying a little. Would that be a violation to the rules of the club?
“You're telling me someone else might have seen this?” He cups your vulva with his hand, and the pressure is mind-numbing. It takes you maybe two or three seconds to respond, your thoughts like arrows that deviate their trajectory towards your crotch.
“Seokjin, I—”
He sticks two fingers inside you and tightens his grip on you. “Fawn. This. This belongs to me. Okay?”
You shiver at how stern he sounds. “Yes.”
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do.”
Seokjin nods to himself. “Good. Now get out of this damn dress.”
“You, get out of your clothes too,” you order, trying to be just as stern, but he laughs at you, rubbing your G-spot inside you.
“I think your silly, sex-addled brain got confused.” He grips your face with his free hand, squishing your cheeks together. “I tell you what to do, Fawn. And you do it.”
You're taken aback by just how patronising his words are. How silly and insignificant they make you feel. How even wetter you get.
You arch off the carpet and slip your dress off, tugging and pulling, until your body is finally free.
Seokjin studies the way the fire dances on your skin, the way your breasts rise and fall with your ragged breathing.
“Good girl, Fawn.” He leans over and kisses your breast, then gives a fat lick to the sensitive skin before blowing over it in a way that makes you shiver. “So fucking sensitive.”
He's beginning to undo his shirt, towering over you as he sits up on his knees and lets his fingers make a quick work of the buttons, his teal satin shirt coming undone quickly.
He manages to shrug it off easily, the expanse of his chest finally emerging in front of you. He notices how enchanted you are by it, how mesmerised.
The contrast between the fairness of his skin and the raspberry pink of his nipples is stark and seductive. You now understand colour theory and why animals always eat at the brightest-coloured fruit.
You sit up, leaning on your hands, your mouth searching for his chest, but with a finger pressed to your sternum he pushes you back down.
“Sit still for a second, for fuck’s sake,” he scolds you, then tries to get rid of his trousers, which proves to be truly challenging in a kneeling position.
He tuts, frustrated, then convinces himself to stand back up, finally pushing his trousers and briefs down, shimmying out of them too in an attempt to get naked faster.
You’re already on your knees in front of him, waiting, lips parted, hoping he’s going to use your mouth for his pleasure, and you try to invite him to, kissing his thigh, caressing it with your teeth, then giving it a kittenish lick.
He grabs you by the cheeks, then forces you to look up at him. “I thought you were a smart, obedient girl, Fawn. Are you not?”
You’re still kneeling in front of him, mouth parted, eyes wide aimed at his face. You try to appear as dollish and harmless as possible.
“I wouldn’t like to think wanting to get fucked turned you into a silly girl, mh?”
He’s so hard, right in front of you, and the sphere inside you is not enough, not anymore. You need him moving in and out of you. You need fullness, you need to be more than what you can take.
You need him rough, needy, harsh, unforgiving, relentless and fastidiously specific about how he wants to fuck you.
You can almost put your mouth on him. Almost.
You frown. “Please,” you whine, wetting your lips with the tip of your tongue.
He smiles, then snorts. “So desperate…”
Your inner muscles flutter at his cocky tone.
He kneels back, at your same height. “Spread your legs, love,” he tells you, and you keen at the pet name, which makes him caress your cheek fondly. “Come on, let me fuck you, Fawn.”
You part your knees further and his hand slips from your cheeks to your chin, then to your neck, gripping it suggestively, then caresses your breast and follows the axis of your midriff, twirls around your navel and settles at your pubis.
You wet your lips again, your breath caught in your throat, your gaze tantalised by the movement of his hands.
He spreads your labia, covering his fingers in your wetness, then he dives for your entrance, catching the sphere inside and helping it out.
“You should be warm and stretched now, right?” he asks you, then brings the toy to his mouth.
You stare at him, daring him to do exactly what he does next. He opens his mouth and takes a lick at the ball, tasting you.
“This wet cause I made you come?” he asks, and you nod, stunned. He brings the sphere to your nipple and rubs it against your breast gently, drawing a small circle on it. “Sweet,” he coos, then sucks your freshly moistened nipple in his mouth.
You moan like you never have, your hips starting to move in an attempt to grind against something.
You’re almost on the edge by the time he releases your skin from his lips. “Seokjin,” you beg, grabbing his hair and combing it back. “Please, Seokjin, I need it. I need it.”
He sits on his heels, his free hand landing on the small of your back and pulling you closer. “Come close, Fawn. I want to look into your eyes as you take it.”
Your frown can’t even begin to express how desperate you feel. You want him, now, and you’re about to have him. But a part of you is suddenly remembering that you’ll have to let go of him again at the end of the night.
You shake off the bad thoughts and take him in your hand, but he swats it away.
“When I say so,” he scolds you, so you place your hands on his shoulders for leverage and when you’re ready to sit on his lap, he grips himself steady and aims his tip at your entrance.
“Can’t wait to hear you moan as I fill you up, love.”
You bite your lip and the head of his dick slips in effortlessly, smooth and hot.
A sigh of relief leaves your throat and he smiles. “Goddamn, so warm,” he whispers, then gives you a few more inches — just three or four. Not yet all of them.
“How does it feel, my Fawn?” he speaks softly. “Still hungry for more?”
You nod, feeling just how full, how magnificent it feels to have more, and to know there’s more to take.
“You really needed my dick, mh?” He gives you one more inch and you start wincing, just a little. It’s thick and it’s warm, and it feels so right to squeeze it with your muscles, your orgasm starting to build.
Seokjin looses control for a moment, and that’s all it takes for him to conclude his stroke, sinking all the way to the hilt.
A gasp escapes you and he seems surprised too.
He blinks a few times, then his gaze seems to focus on you. “Hello,” he says, with a large smile. “Fawn, I guess I needed inside you just as bad as you did.”
You chuckle and he grips the back of your neck and dives to kiss you.
The tang of your taste is strong on his tongue, but you don’t dislike it. The kiss is soft, gentle, unrushed and tender.
“Let me know when I can move,” he tells you.
You nod.
“Touch yourself,” he orders you, then starts stroking for real.
He’s deep and slow, like he’s keeping himself in check, aiming at you coming undone.
Which you do, in record time, moaning like you’ve never had good sex in your entire life, and at this point you’ve come to suspect so.
You’ve given yourself good sex. You’ve splurged on a good realistic dildo, and you’ve learnt to fuck yourself right with it, but when Seokjin moves inside you, you doubt you truly ever reached ecstasy in your decades of existence.
When you do come, it’s his name you scream, shameless, loud, and you don’t care since the entire building is made of people who are in several different states of erotic debauchery.
Seokjin is proud, fulfilled, your pleasure finally achieved.
He can now focus on his now.
He recovers the kegel ball he slipped out of you, still hooked on his finger by the strap, and brings it in front of you. “I might get rough.” He seems unsure, and cheeky too, as he adds, ”How do you feel about a muffler?”
Your eyes widen. You think about it for a millisecond, then it seems obvious. “Go ahead,” you tell him, then open your mouth.
“God, I love you,” he says.
And you both stop.
“Shit, I mean—” Seokjin is panicking.
“I know,” you say calmly, trying to reassure him.
He seems like he didn’t mean it. Not like that, at least. “I love this. Between us,” he adds
And you can agree about that. “I do, too.”
He seems conflicted, unresolved. “Fill my mouth then fill me up, Seokjin. It’s not complicated.”
It really is, because you want all the feelings that come with this, and that are plenty more complicated than two hours of giving and taking everything you need for yourselves. It’s more than getting rid of tension and snatching all the pleasure you can.
He’s still hesitating, so you nudge the sphere with your nose and chin until you manage to catch it with your mouth.
Both his hands are free now and he decides to grab your ass immediately, shoving your hips back down on him. “Damn right,” he grunts.
He’ll give you what you want, he’s decided. Everything you want. He’ll keep to himself the complicated bits.
You hum a short, clipped sound as he lifts you just a little and pulls you down again. Again, even faster than before.
You start getting his pattern, cooperating as he gets more frantic, more forceful.
Saliva is starting to gather in your mouth, the ball making it too difficult to swallow. You’re getting messy, and you decide to get messier still, to fuck the worries out of his brain, out of your own too.
You’re glad he’s flexible, because you manage to make him shift from a lotus position to a rowdy cowgirl. There you go faster still, and he’s gasping your name, staring at your breasts, gripping them, slapping them too as they dangle over his face.
You clench on him as he does, and he whines even louder.
It makes you territorial, and maybe sadistic, because next thing you know, you’re removing the toy from your mouth and placing it on the floor — it is no longer welcome in your and Seokjin’s little game.
Now it’s only the two of you, and may the strongest opponent win.
You trace his pout with your fingers, and he parts his lips easily. Your middle and ring finger slip inside, and he lets you open his mouth wider.
You lean over him, lower yourself to him, closer, your bellies sticking together, your hips still pistoning on him.
Your tongue and cheeks are still coated in the thick wetness and saliva from the improvised gag-ball, so you just leave your lips agape and the thick liquid plops out, from your tongue on his.
His eyes go wide and he grows more frantic still, going desperate while he licks his lips clean. “God, Fawn. Please,”
“Oh, did the tables turn…”
He smiles a desperate smile, begging you with his eyes. You allow him the final squeeze of your kegels, and he finally, finally comes.
His arms wrap around you like vines, like he’s ivy, and he depends on you, needs you, wants to cling to your forever.
He starts pushing from below and it’s a punishment divine and sinful at the same time.
It shouldn’t feel this good, and yet it does, so you take it as best as you can.
It feels like stealing, and you’re not sure you’re okay when he slips out. “A quick break, let me recover,” he begs. “Not done though.”
Seokjin is great at recovering, this one you’ve learnt. Maybe he doesn’t jerk off by himself. Maybe he keeps himself at bait so he can go all out when he’s with you.
Nevertheless, he takes ten or so minutes to himself, where he just lays with you on top of him, his dick inside you, softening, while he strokes your body.
“I don’t know what I meant with what I said earlier,” he admits.
“We don’t need to talk about this right now,” you tell him, and maybe you’re just trying to save your poor little heart. Sure, saying you love him would be an exaggeration, but you definitely like this man, and you like his heart, his personality, and most importantly, the way he treats you and understands your needs.
“I feel like we should.” He’s caressing your spine. “I—”
“Why did your ex-wife let go of you? How did she give up on sex this good? How did she get this and not…? Stay?” You ask. And you need the answer. Maybe that will make you swallow the lump in your throat. He wants to discuss difficult topics? Then let’s do that.
“I—” He’s clearly caught by surprise. “I was not like this. With her. With other women.” His hand stops, resting on the curve of your ass. “We were just… No longer in love with each other. We still love each other, but we don’t long for each other anymore. We love each other for the three beautiful lives we created together, for our family, for the memories, but we don’t… We want to build different paths. And that’s fair.”
You nod, then settle back on his chest, drawing patterns on it with your fingers. He’s starting to stir inside you, you can tell. Feeling him awaken like this is fulfilling, arousing too. “And you let go?”
“We did.” He squeezes your butt fondly. “We— Me and my ex didn’t have sex often. I needed it, I guess, but I never asked. She didn’t seem to want it. Passion was never part of the equation.”
“But three kids? I—”
“We wanted a big family. She did, especially. But it’s not like we tried a lot. We were just lucky. And I don’t regret that, not even a second. After Daisy we stopped altogether. We were basically celibate for more than a year.”
You nod, then look at him. “So this thing with me is like—?”
He chuckles, his hips shifting in a way that tells you he’s ready again, or soon will be. “This is the most selfish and passionate I’ve been in the last five years. I guess that’s why I said what I said earlier.” He’s blushing, eyes averted. “But that doesn’t mean I value you only for selfish reasons.” He forces himself to look at you again. “I actually like you a lot. But I don’t know what to do because stuff gets complicated when you have kids, especially young kids like mine.”
You nod some more. “You like me?!” You say after three seconds, tires screeching in your brain as you process his words.
He smiles, his laugh rippling from his stomach to yours. “Yeah, that one sure. Pretty sure about it, yeah.”
“And—”
“And I waited this long to tell you because I wanted to be sure, but also because I wanted to be sure it meant something to you too. I wanted to feel safe with you.” He smooths your hair by your temple, removing a strand that was obstructing your eye. “I wanted to have sex when I was sure you meant something for me. I think sex is something meaningful. Important. I wanted to get there step by step.”
You rise from his chest, stare at him, confused, like your world has been just flipped inside out. “I thought you didn’t—”
“I did.” He chuckles, just a little, then places a hand on your waist and flips the two of you upside down.
He’s on top of you, and he’s got a point to prove. “Last time I really did. I was this close,” he says, and he strokes out, then in, slowly.
You moan his name, and he dives to your lips. “Such a pretty way to moan for me, Fawn. Telling everyone who’s fucking this sweet, warm, cosy pussy.” He stops once he bottoms out and speaks through gritted teeth: “As I was saying before you interrupted me, I really wanted to, last time. I was sure I was going to get your number and invite you for dinner afterwards. But the babysitter and fucking lice and—”
You laugh. He’s fucking you so good and yet you end up talking about mundane stuff and he’d so handsome above you but you really want him to take you from behind — your mind is frazzled.
“I wanted to fuck you and keep you till morning, and then get you breakfast, and ask you for a date.”
Your heartbeat stumbles. “A date?”
He stops. “God. Don’t tell me you—” He slips out. “You don’t… Uhm. It’s— You don’t see me like that, right?”
He seems defeated, embarrassed too, maybe, but mostly lost.
“Oh, not that!” You rush to clarify, “I mean, I do! I do see you like that, I mean!” You grab him by the shoulders, then cup the sides of his neck and kiss him, because you’re making a mess and you know that you’re going to kiss him right and show him just how much this means to you.
“I love that you waited to have sex with me.” You caress his face. “It meant a lot, because I don’t think I was ready to have sex straight away.”
“I wanted to since I first saw you,” he says, and you kiss him some more, to show him you like what he’s telling you, that you want him to keep going. “But I needed time to process just what I wanted, and how.”
“I noticed you staring.”
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I wanted to be matched with you so bad, but I was scared we wouldn’t combine. Maybe we were incompatible.”
You smile. “I’m so glad this is happening.”
He slips an arm underneath your back and helps you up, until you’re both sitting up again, your chin resting on his shoulder, and you’re about to abandon yourself in his arms when you notice something in a corner of the room.
“Hold up,” you tell him.
He pulls back, looking you in the face. “What’s wrong?”
You shake your head, then kiss him softly, gingerly. “Just wait.”
You rise and let him slip out of you, his dick deliciously covered in your and his cum.
He watches you rise and follows you with his gaze, studying the way the fire dances on the planes of your skin. His mouth waters. “Fawn, love, no need to—”
“Yes!” you exclaim, then he notices you’re moving a full-length mirror closer to your alcove by the fireplace. It’s a wheeled mirror, which can be rolled around to better be included in the scene. You place it in front of Seokjin, who studies you standing beside it, then looks at his reflection. “I wanted this so bad,” you tell him, “but I wanted to look you in the eye and I don’t like the fact that you gotta face away for it.”
You sit in front of him, then turn your back to him and head back to your position on all fours, just like you started.
Seokjin shakes his head. “I’ve never understood doggy before hitting it with you,” he says, his hands skating down your sides.
He slips in and you both hiss, but pleasure rises faster than pain. The first stroke is heaven already. “I’m gonna be fucking you like this for weeks to come.”
“I’m gonna hold you accountable for that,” you tease.
He nods, then wraps an arm around you, his hand sprawled against your sternum, and he pulls you up, with your back against his chest.
He can feel your crazed heartbeat, and you can feel his against your spine.
“I’m gonna get rough, Fawn.” He bites your neck, not aggressively, but with passion. “Fuck, you make me wild.” He jabs into you. “With your pretty eyes.” Once more. “And your pretty, dirty mouth.” He slides out, then stuffs himself back in and you gasp. “And the way you get dumb and filthy when you need to come.” His hand climbs to your throat, without gripping, just a gentle warm caress, as if to protect it, and help you hold your head upright. “The way you mix innocence and debauchery.” It’s like he’s trying to burrow himself inside you, swallowing your frame into his. “You’re a delight of a little bitch.”
You’re touching yourself now, and he stares at it in the mirror, at the frantic circles of your fingers on your clitoris, at the way your tits wiggle at his thrusts.
Your lips are parted wide, and you’re starting to fall, he can tell, your eyes closing slowly. You’re fluttering for him, inside, and he’s gritting his teeth, plunging inside you more furiously. “Come on, come for me, my little bitch. Show me how much you love this dick.”
And so you do.
He thanks you softly and compliments you as you start coming apart for him, his own pleasure coming together and unraveling at last as you both spiral into each other.
It’s apotheosis, the way you melt into each other, your essence becoming one. It’s completion. It’s finality. It’s your destination.
You’re both left panting, exhausted, and this time you’re not sure Seokjin will recover as easily as he had before.
“Holy smokes,” you exhale, and he meets your eyes in the mirror. His cheeks are adorably flushed, and his eyes are dark and drowsy. He’s still panting. “Very worth it. Every second.”
“Kudos for the mirror. Excellent idea.”
“We need to add that to the list.”
“Definitely.”
He kisses a spot near the hollow of your throat, nibbling the skin there just right.
He stays buried inside you still, and has pretty much no intention of getting out.
“Are you alright?” he asks you, his fingers skimming your belly, caressing you, but also trying to keep you warm. He wants to grab a robe for you, but he doesn't want to be detached from you yet.
“I'm just fine,” you reassure him, rubbing his thigh to comfort him.
“Was it too rough?” he asks and you shake your head immediately.
“Are you kidding? It was just perfect!” you tell him, meeting his eyes in the mirror.
He stays quiet for a while then says, “Are we okay with… With what I said earlier? About… About feelings?”
You blink repeatedly. “I think…” You pause. “I think it's fair, what you feel. And—” You shake your head and giggle. “I hope you did mean to ask me on a date.”
He chuckles, then wraps his arms more tightly around you. “Breakfast. The girls are with their mom tonight, we could sleep here—” He kisses a sweet spot at your nape— “Or not sleep at all,” he suggests, “and wake up in the morning and go for breakfast.” He contemplates the option, studying your face in the mirror. “It's up to you, my beautiful Fawn.”
You just shake your head yes, smiling brightly.
“I need to be clear from the start, though. If my situation with my terminated marriage, and with my kids scares you or disturbs you in any way, I would like to know it right now.”
You shake your head vigorously. “I'm okay with that, as long as you're sure you're ready to try this for real.” You feel your eyes grow avoidant and your cheeks heat as you add, “I must admit, Seokjin, that I got it quite bad for you. If you were in this with no intention of things getting serious, I think I would be—” You search for the word. “I'd be disappointed. Strongly.”
He nods, then swallows you in his frame, your torso and his like two juxtaposed crescents. “I'm looking for something real. Something passionate and steady and reliable. Someone I can be a man with, a friend, and a father, and a partner too. I need someone for myself. Someone who can be mine, but also someone I can belong to.”
You nod then turn to look him in the eye, your bodies still spooned. You stretch to his lips and he kisses you, his eyes staring at your mouth before it goes out of focus.
It's immediately a matter of tongues and wetness and sucking, with just the right amount of teeth. His hands lose their peaceful rest and return to tantalising, seductive touches, veering south.
“Already?” you purr against his mouth, a slow smile already crumbling.
“You've got no idea what you started,” he says, tempting.
You chuckle, your laugh and his mixing. And you tell him, “Show me.”
More in this AU | MYG | KNJ
General masterlist
#ksj smut#kim seokjin smut#kim seokjin fanfiction#kim seokjin scenario#bts smut blog#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#Hbd Kim Seokjin I guess???#kim seokjin x reader#Kim Seokjin x yn#Seokjin x fawn#btswritersclub#bangtansorciere#52hertz#bts hyung line
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8. Margaret Corbin
(n) things that are known or proved to be true
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Trigger warnings: mention of food looking like dead rats
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previous - m.list - next
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taglist: @alpacaseoks, @secretlycrazyhummingbird ♥
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and I'm back!
a lot happened during these two weeks on my side: I visited many castles, spent to much money on useless things (apart from two plushies called Bob and Norbert), and I got a lot of new ideas for future fics which will see the light in maybe five years...
I hope you had a great time as well!
Anyway, it was Neth talking to you, take care :]
#bts#bts smau#bts fanfiction#kim seokjin#kim seokjin smau#kim seokjin fanfiction#kim seokjin x reader#kim seokjin x yn#seokjin#seokjin smau#seokjin fanfiction#seokjin x reader#seokjin x yn#jin#jin smau#jin fanfiction#jin x reader#jin x yn
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Be My Light - Chapter 10: An Act of Trust
*Genre: Mafia, Angst, Slow burn, eventual smut
*Warnings: Mentions of drugs, language, anxiety
Authors Note: How has it been so long? It's been a bit of a tough time but I have returned to my happy place. I hope you enjoy this look into the Magic Shop. I copy and paste the Tag List, so for those who no longer wish to be in it, I completely understand. Please just message me and I'll remove you. For any new interested readers who would like to be apart of the Tag List, same thing. Please just be patient with me. I'm on new any depressants and will be trying my very best to keep up with this. No matter what, I will never stop this fic and I will try my best to make any wait worth it. Feel free to drop a like, comment, or anything. Also posted on AO3 under the same name, Enjoy!
Tag list: Tag list: @lolalalooo, @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine, @mrsfortune1306, @lovesick-heart0, @iamnamjoonsbxtch, @deathkat657, @deeepvibes, @sugamonster22, @weiinihao, @hemmofluke, @rainbow-zebra-unicorns, @joyfullyobsessed-blog, @elvencantation, @thefreddieman, @whateveritis616, @crewzie-chan, @wyomingphantom, @killbillv1, @kyrah-williams, @utterlynutters, @ot7jellostan, @zahraaelamira, @shesaysweirdthings, @toriluvsfics, @emu007, @zae007live
Chapter 10: An Act of Trust.
This is incredible, you found yourself repeating as you followed Taehyung through the Magic Shop.
The mansion was the prime example of the phrase ‘never judge a book by its cover’. Though, if you were being completely honest, Bangtan had shown many examples of that phrase the more you were around them. Where the outside of the Magic Shop was foreboding, broken, and cold, the inside was warm, modern, and inviting. And so well maintained. For a group of young men, the place was immaculate. You thought back to when Jin and Jungkook had cleaned your apartment on the first night and decided that you really shouldn’t be surprised. As you looked about the passing rooms, they were beautifully decorated in a modern style that really complimented everyone and the structure.
Taehyung had, first, led you down the spiral staircase under the front foyer into what you assumed were the old service areas. Now, it was an expansive garage lined with a vast variety of vehicles. You recognized the truck that Jin had driven you home in, the silver sports car that Taehyung had picked you up in that first day, and the town car that you had just been in. Heuning Kai waved at the two of you from his place by the town car, polishing it to look as new. You looked down the rows in awe. As you took in the fleet of cars, you started to understand that you had vastly underestimated how much money Bangtan must have had. But were all of these bought or were they spoils of the job? Or were some of them stolen? You were really trying not to think so poorly of your hosts, but could it really be helped?
“Nice, huh?” Taehyung crossed his arms with pride as he leaned against a very nice looking black two-door car. He nodded over towards the familiar pickup truck. “That was the first truck we bought back in the early days. We lived off of cheap ramen and stolen veggies, but it was worth it. Jin put a lot of hardware into it over the years. He stayed up a lot of nights reading mechanic books to make it work for us. Now we’re able to hire mechanics who will follow whatever design and dream he can think up to help us. Like bulletproof glass and exteriors, homing beacons, storage and seats that fold down so we can use the space for anything. They, even, have this feature that sends an alert to all of our phones if the vehicle’s ever in an accident so we can get to each other.”
“I suppose Jin thought of everything, didn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung smiled a huge boxy grin. “Jin-hyung is all about keeping us safe. He’s like the mom of our family. He’s always taken such good care of us.”
As your eyes roamed across the row of vehicles, your eyes caught sight of a sleek, black motorcycle in the farthest corner of the garage. You had always wanted to ride on one ever since one of Amber’s friends came by the hospital to show his new one off. But you had always been too scared to ask to ride along; working in the ER would do that to a person.
“Like that? That’s Jungkookie’s, He always wanted one. And Yoongi-hyung and Jiminie bought it for him as a graduation present to encourage him to finish school. He was so excited when he went to go pick it out. It’s his favorite thing. Seems like you like it too. I’m sure if you ask him, he’d take you on a ride. As long as he doesn’t combust from shyness. I’d suggest you wait until you’ve been around him more before you ask him.”
“Oh no,” you said, turning back towards Tae. “I don’t think that would be very smart. Do you know how many cases in my ER are from motorcycle accidents? I wouldn’t dream of it.” You were sure by the look on Taehyung’s face that he could hear the disappointment in your tone as you tried to fool yourself.
He smiled. “You know that is the same argument that Jin-hyung said when it was brought home. But I know I have a picture of them riding on it together.”
Taehyung, then, led you out of the garage. As you ascended the spiral stairs back into the front foyer, you were taken down the hallway where Namjoon had appeared towards the kitchen. The hallway was lined with what looked like framed family portraits of Bangtan throughout the years. There were some of them all together dressed all nice, and a few of them in random units posed in fun ways. It was interesting to see how they grew and changed over the years. But it was, also, sad to see how young they were. You paused in front of what appeared to be their first family photo. Where the other photos were in suits or business casual attire, their first picture looked as if they had watched too many hip-hop music videos. Dressed in fake basketball jerseys and hats, or in layered phony designer shirts and too much eyeliner, they looks so young and inexperienced. You almost didn’t recognize Namjoon with his crazy hair and dark glasses, or Jimin with his very tanned skin and shaggy black hair. And Jungkook looked like he had barely started puberty with his round doe-eyes. It really made you wonder what could cause such young kids to turn to gang life. Yoongi and Namjoon you understood since Yoongi had explained his side to you. But were all their stories the same? You had to figure out how to ask them.
The kitchen looked like it belonged to a showroom with top-of-the-line appliances set against stunning marble counter tops. You imagined this is what a world class chef would want. It was beyond clean and spacious with a large capacity refrigerator and freezer, a fully stocked wine cabinet that almost reached the ceiling, a huge stove and dual ovens, and a large island that could be used for anything. Off the main part, set against a large set of windows that overlooked a courtyard in the middle of the Magic Shop, was a cozy breakfast nook and a fully stocked coffee bar that could meet the needs of the pickiest of coffee drinkers. There were a few different machines for different types of coffee, syrups, stirrers, and different sugars. The enticing smell of whatever Namjoon had made still permeated the room.
The only thing that was missing was the staff to man such a space. Perhaps they had the morning off?
Taehyung opened up the fully stocked cabinets, pantry, and fridge to show off their contents and told you to that you would help yourself to anything whenever you wanted.
“We always make extra so you can have whatever. Or, if you would rather cook something for yourself, by all means. But since one of us will be with you, we may offer to do it.”
“You all cook?” You remembered the amount of food Jin had ordered the first night for you and figured that’s what they did regularly.
“Some of us do,” he remarked with a shrug. “Namjoon-hyung can only really make coffee. And my skills are a bit limited. But the others are really good at it. We always leave leftovers if we are out late on missions for the other. We try to have family dinner when we are all together. And we talked about letting you come too, since you’ll be here for a while. If you want, that is. But trust me, you’re gonna want to.”
“So, you make your own food? I would expect a place like this would come with a fleet of cooks since you all would be…busy.”
Taehyung laughed. “You would think so. But we are pretty self-sufficient. Other than our hired Army, we don’t really have a staff full time. I mean, there are two mechanics that come to tune up the cars every month, a couple ladies who come in to do a deep clean every three months or so, and Jin brings in a couple helpers once in a while when he’s stuck in whatever he’s working on. But that’s only a very few very trusted people. They’re all older locals though who we’ve helped over the years, so we know they won’t betray us. It’s just safer if we keep it low. When we bring in new people, it’s blind like how we did with you. Not that we don’t trust you. I mean…” Taehyung started trying to figure out how to better explain it.
“It’s alright. I understand. I am a stranger to you guys. Despite how many card games I’ve beat you at or coffee dates you take me on.” You smiled as your little joke seemed to ease the tension. “It makes sense really. It’s better to be cautious. If anything happens to me, I wouldn’t be able to say anything even if I could.”
“Hey,” Tae brought his hand to your shoulder, face very serious, “nothing is going to hurt you here. I trust you. Call it my superpower, but I can read people really well. All the years on the street do that to a person. You are a good person. Otherwise, we would have blindfolded you before you stepped out of the car. Everyone agreed to welcome you in our home not just because of all you’ve done for Hyung. We could have just set you up in a safe house if I thought you were up to something.”
You were sure he was being genuine with you. He did seem like he was going very beyond the bare minimum he needed to do had it been some other person. You knew he was trying to make you feel safe and comfortable in this whole situation. They were doing so much for you, you just needed to allow yourself to relax and not think about all the other things. You tried to ignore the dark cloud that kept coming up the second you started to forget their profession and focus on the person.
From the kitchen, you were lead to the outside courtyard. It must have been intended to be a beautiful event space in its conception. There were moss covered statues, an elegant fountain surrounded by ivy covered iron benches, and beautiful plants that brought so much color to the space. Above, there was a façade that looked like a tapered roof covered in ripped tarps that Tae explained let in a lot of light and rain but kept anyone or thing from seeing inside. Bangtan had really thought of everything to keep the Magic Shop secret. Across the courtyard and through another door, you were shown an impressive gym with an attached studio that Taehyung explained was used for combat training, dance practice, or anything they wanted. Next to that was a shower, steam room, and a large indoor swimming pool. All of which was fair game for you to use if you wanted to.
After that, the excited man showed you what he deemed ‘the living space’. Up the stairs to the second floor, there was a massive formal dining room, a small library that you really wanted to explore, a small infirmary, a game room, and some office used for whatever they wanted to work on privately. He pointed to another staircase and mentioned that some of their bedrooms were up on the third floor and so were Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s personal workspaces. Jin’s workspace was in the basement, while Jungkook’s room and personal gaming room was on the attic floor with Taehyung’s art studio. There was so much space in this house that you began to wonder if there was a map so you wouldn’t get lost. Before you could try to remember how to get back to the last room, you found yourself in an expansive living room. You figured this may be where you’d be spending a majority of your time. The room was open design with a massive L-shaped couch that seemed like it could fit more than seven, sleek coffee tables, two elegant armchairs with oversized ottomans, and a few beanbag chairs stacked in a corner. Mounted to the wall was a huge flat screen television and on either side of it where towering shelves full of movies, tv series, music, and video games to last a lifetime. There were multiple gaming consoles stacked neatly on top. And on the far wall, there was a small mini fridge, a cupboard with snacks, and a small bar. It was homely and comfortable.
“We spend a lot of our down time together in here,” Taehyung said, smiling at your awed expression. “It’s probably one of my favorite rooms, besides my bedroom.”
“I can see why. It has pretty much everything in here. It’s bigger than my apartment. Well, this house is so large it’s a wonder how you can find anyone in here. I still haven’t seen Jimin, Jungkook, or Jin. I feel like I could walk right past them in here and never know it.”
“Well, Jin is on the basement level working on something. We won’t need to go down there. There is nothing there that’d interest you. Honestly, it’s a bit more confusing to get down there anyway so just try to stay on the first two floors. But. he’ll come up for lunch in a while. Since I didn’t see Jungkook in here or the gym, my guess is that he is probably still in his room. He was up late last night playing video games and is most likely still sleeping. But if ever in doubt, always start looking for him in the gym or where his games are. As for Jimin, I’m not sure where he is. He was excited for you to come to the Magic Shop. I thought he would meet us in the front or outside. That was his plan anyway. Something might have come up. I’m sure we’ll see him at lunch. Oh yeah, there’s someone else I want you to meet. Now, where is he?”
Suddenly, while you were distracted by some of the framed, less staged photos on the wall, something small and fuzzy ran across your foot. You shrieked and it took everything in your body to keep from kicking at whatever it was as you fell back into one of the armchairs. Taehyung let out a loud laugh that filled the space and had him holding his sides.
“Tannie! There’s my baby boy.” You turned over the chair to watch him stoop over and pick up a small black and brown Pomeranian puppy. The puppy yipped happily and gave his owner sloppy kisses that Tae returned. “I was wondering where you had gotten off too. Such a silly boy. You shouldn’t scare our guest like that. She’s a nice girl, the one I told you about. Say you’re sorry.”
The puppy let out a big yawn. You weren’t sure if that was the apology Taehyung was expecting.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to react like that. I’ve been a bit jumpier than usual. I wasn’t expecting such a tiny thing to come running at me. You guys never mentioned that you had a dog.”
“I didn’t? That doesn’t sound like me. I could have sworn I had talked about him a few times back in the hospital.” If you were honest, he might have. But there were plenty of times when you were fighting your many battles about trusting them that you tuned out most of the conversations. “This is Yeontan. He’s only eight months old. You don’t mind dogs, do you?”
“No, I like all animals. He’s very cute,” you pushed off from the chair and stepped a bit closer. When Taehyung held the small dog out to you, you reached over and lightly scratched him behind his fuzzy ear. Yeontan let out a happy noise and licked your hand. You laugh a bit. “He’s so sweet. But I’ll be honest. I would never have suspected someone like you to have such a tiny dog.”
“Oh, sure. I get that. Jungkookie keeps saying we should get a Doberman as a guard dog. That would definitely fit our image better. But I could never replace Tannie. He’s all mine.” Taehyung hugged the puppy close, and it warmed your heart. “I’ve always wanted a little dog ever since I was a kid. But a bad home life made it difficult. But all the guys pulled together and helped me get this little guy as a present. And I sold a few pieces in order to save up for classes so I could better take care of him. I wanted to be the best owner for him.”
The way that Taehyung spoke and interacted with the dog was such a juxtaposition to the wicked mafia persona you had figured hid beneath. It was so cute that you could only wonder if someone would ever treat you with the same amount of affection. Had you not known about that side of his life, you’d swear he was just this lovable guy with a large heart. Though, something he had said gave you pause.
“Save up? I feel like you all have more money than I can even imagine. I mean,” you made a grand gesture to the room, “why would you need to save up for anything?”
“I’m sure it seems that way. Sure, we’re pretty well off. But when we first started, we were so poor, we didn’t have enough money to eat. We stole from the gas station just to eat once a day. And when we started out, we were nobodies, so it wasn’t like we were making anything. Whatever we did earn from gang activities went to important things like medicine and renting a room for the night, so we didn’t have to sleep on the street. Then, it went towards necessities, like weapons for protection or clothes so we wouldn’t freeze in the winter. Or bail when we got caught by the police. So, to ensure we would be able to make it and not be picked off by the other gangs, we got day jobs. Namjoon worked the gas station we stole from to make it up to the old man who owned it, Yoongi-hyung was a delivery boy, and Hobi-hyung and Jimin worked at a dance studio. Kookie and I found ways to help. The only one who had any money was Jin-hyung. His family was loaded. When I first met Jin-hyung, before I met the others, he was a student, and I was a street kid just trying not to go home. I saw him at a bus stop I used to tag all the time. He said my work was cool and just like a puppy, I started hanging around him. He fed me and even tried to teach me what he was learning since I dropped out. Then we met the others and Jin-hyung was using his money to help us. But when his father learned who he was hanging around, he cut him off. Until he was able to black mail his father.”
“But,” Taehyung continued, seeing how off topic he was getting, “the point was, we always had other ways to get money that weren’t gang related. Even now, as big as we are, we still have little side jobs we do. It breaks up the monotony and gives us a little bit of an escape. What we earn from gang activities belongs to Bangtan; the upkeep of the house, paying Army, hospital bills, and our equipment. Anything we earn from our side hustle is ours for our own pleasure. That dance studio that Jimin and Hobi-hyung worked at, they now own. Jungkookie competes in videogame competitions and films himself playing games on the internet. Jin continues his family business, without his actual family. And Namjoon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung did music underground back in the day before all the gang stuff, and they still do. They write and produce demos and sell them. You’ve probably heard a few of their stuff. And we all help them sometimes. We joke that if we weren’t in this line of work, we’d probably be a world-renowned band. Funny huh?”
Wow, you thought as you tried to process what he had just told you. There is so much more to these guys than I thought. How can they be this down to earth?
“And what do you do?”
“I told you that I used to be a street artist, right? Nothing too special; just tagging and doing funny graffiti. But the others really inspired me to keep going. Hell, Namjoon got arrested with me when I was attempting to improve some offensive street art someone left outside one of our favorite places just because he wanted to see me improve myself. Now, I’ve moved to a bunch of different mediums; I’ve tried charcoal, photography, drawing, and painting. I took all of those pictures,” he said pointing to the walls. “It’s pretty easy to find a muse when you have a great support system. Here let me show you some of my pieces.” He took your hand and led you out of the living room with a bounce in his step.
He took you up the stairs and to his art room. You were fairly positive that this was not supposed to be part of the tour since this was where their more private spaces were. But the look on Tae’s face when he showed you his art room was enough to show you that he was very excited to show off his work to you. The room had hardwood floors and walls covered with different sizes of framed pictures of different famous artists that he admired. The room was loaded with supplies like stacks of canvases, drawing supplies and paints, different cameras, and drop clothes to protect the floor. There was a small couch and chairs that you recognized from some of the family portraits. He went over to a desk and grabbed a book. It was labeled Vante, which you remember used to be his street artist name before he shortened it to V for his gang related work. He flipped through the book and handed it to you when he found what he was looking for. There were pictures of different art pieces he had made. Each page had photos of the progression and the finished product with handwritten notes next to it as to when it was sold and for how much. The numbers made your eyes widen. There were things that you would expect to see in a museum. You were speech-less.
He grabbed your hand once again and led you out of the studio and into the hallway. There were some more pieces hanging throughout the hallways, those he wouldn’t part with. There was one that was so breathtaking; it was a black and gray background, with a single light source from up center. In the center of the spotlight was a dancer clad in white, whose body was carved through shadows and face shown pale in the light, eyes closed in a serene way as if he was lost in the music you couldn’t hear. His arm was extended up to the light like a ballet dancer, so graceful. His hair, a steely blue, and the gathering shadows accentuate his sharp yet delicate features. And the more you looked at it, the more you began to realize that you had seen this person before.
It was Jimin.
As you were led to more art pieces, you started to realize that Taehyung had used Bangtan in many of them. They were breath taking. Not only were they all so good-looking, but the way Taehyung painted or photographed them made them look otherworldly. Near the end of a staircase that would lead to the top floor back to the floor some of their bedrooms could be found on, you found yourself stopped in front of what you came to realize was your favorite. It was a black and white photo made to look like a painting. There were seven people in front of a white background that looked like hands reaching out for each other. Five of the seven were leaning on each other, hunched over in a dramatic way. In the center were the final two, both with their arm up, one reaching for the sky and the other grasping the first wrist afraid to slip and let go. It was so simple yet complex, so artistic. You weren’t sure how long you were staring at it until Taehyung’s voice cut through your thoughts.
“I was commissioned to make this for someone. But when it was done, I couldn’t part with it. The others loved it too. They hated that I was supposed to sell it to someone who wouldn’t understand it. So, Yoongi-hyung paid the commissioner for it, three times what he was going to pay me for it. Said he didn’t care how much the man wanted for it. It meant so much to us that it was priceless. Yoongi-hyung says it’s his favorite. I think it’s yours too.”
“It’s so beautiful. You are truly an amazing artist.”
“I have some great muses.”
Taehyung and you stood there in silence a bit more before the silence was broken by someone coming out of one of the rooms. It was Hoseok. He looked a bit disheveled and breathless as if he had just run a mile, hair no longer sleek and tidy. He closed the door softly and turned with a grin, licking his lips in some sort of victory. He clapped his hands together and started down the hall with a hop in his step.
He froze when he saw the two of you looking at him. “Umm...” he started nervously, “what are you two doing up here?”
Oh right, I’m probably not meant to be up here. That’s why he’s confused. You turned your eyes back to the floor and your shoulders started to hunch. You didn’t want to intrude on their space. You were just following Taehyung and thought it was okay. But it would seem like not everyone was alright with his idea.
Tae noticed the change in your posture and was having none of that, especially after he worked so hard to get you out of your shell to begin with. “I told you I was going to show her around the house. I was showing Y/N some of my artwork in my studio and figured I would show off the good ones. She really likes this one. I can’t say I blame her.”
Hobi looked over at the painting. “Oh yeah, it is pretty. But don’t you have a copy of it in your phone you could have shown her? I thought we were just gonna keep it to the ground floors until Namjoon-.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, arms wrapping around yourself in a nervous way. “I’m not trying to intrude. I wouldn’t have come up here unless Taehyung had brought me.”
Hoseok noticed the way your hand clenched at your clothes and how you didn’t look at him in the face. And suddenly, he felt bad. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised. We normally don’t have people up here. I wasn’t expecting you. I don’t care if you come up here. Just as long as you don’t go into any rooms without permission.”
“Well, of course she won’t, hyung. You see how nervous she is just at the thought of intruding. I just didn’t want her sitting in one room all day. Jeez, she’ll probably be hanging on the first two floors anyways. That’s where all the fun is.”
Hobi threw his hands up in defeat. “Alright, Taehyungie, I get it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Y/N, I’m sorry. I was just surprised. It’s been a long morning.” You nodded your head in confirmation.
“Now to a better point. What were you doing?” Taehyung fixed his hyung with an accusing look and a smirk from behind you. As if I can’t guess.
Hobi frowned back at Taehyung before pushing his hand through his hair to tidy himself back up. “I was making sure Hyung went to rest and not back to work. You know how Yoongi-hyung can be when he’s away from his screens. He took some convincing but he’s asleep now in his room. And I,” he fished a key from the pocket of his jeans, “stole the key to the Genius Lab so he won’t be tempted to sneak in and work. He should be out for a few hours. He may skip lunch for now, but I’ll make sure he eats before he needs to have his next dosage for you.” He smiled brightly at you. “So, what do you think of the Magic Shop?”
“It’s incredible. You guys must have really worked hard to make it so beautiful.”
“Yeah, it took a few years to get right. But it’s been such a great sanctuary for us. Tell you what, I need to go into town for a bit. I’m sure Taehyung has told you about the dance studio if he’s showing off all his side work. I need to pick up Jimin. He apparently was called in this morning to help with some minor things but he’s not feeling too well to drive back alone. But when I get home, I’ll show you something we’ve been working on with the kids in our class. It’s really fun. Then we can all have lunch.” Hobi moved past you two, making sure to greet Tannie with a series of silly voices and pets.
Taehyung gave his hyung a confused look. “Is Minnie okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. It’s just about the end of the month. I’m sure he’s gonna try to push it off again.” Realization dawned on Taehyung and he smacked his head for overlooking it with everything going on. You didn’t ask what they meant since it really wasn’t your business. Perhaps it was just some stress related thing that focused on his time of the month. You were sure with everything going on, Bangtan must push themselves too far and that leads to poor health. If Jimin was sick, you would be happy to check him out since you were there to be an in-home care. It would give you something else to focus on. The two said goodbye and Hobi dashed down the stairs.
“Come on, let’s take Tannie out in the courtyard and I’ll show you some more of pieces on the way.
You happily followed him, chasing after the positive feeling you had earlier. Your anxieties had been growing more difficult to contain. It must be because you weren’t taking your medicine. You were hoping Dr. Na would have been helpful in finding out what it was so you could get back on track. But with everything that happened back at the hospital, you hadn’t been so lucky. You didn’t even turn in the script he had given you for a mild antianxiety medication to take in its place because you were still so mad at him and hurt. And yet, here you were with the people who ruined him for you, acting like they were your friend. All these feelings and emotions were confusing.
As you arrived back on the second floor and at the landing of the familiar staircase, you both could hear someone walking around, pacing by the sounds of it. At first, you thought it was Hoseok again, but Namjoon’s voice could be heard just a harsh whisper. Whoever he was talking to, he was not happy about something.
“I can’t believe you are trying to blow me off right now. How is that fair? My family needs security. Didn’t you say it would only take you a few hours? I know I got the dates mixed up but that shouldn’t matter to you. If you haven’t noticed, my family’s been in a bit of chaos recently and you were supposed to help ease some of my tension with information. At least tell me what you do have. What do you mean you aren’t done with your initial check? Why isn’t it done? I’m sure you’re busy, but you owe me!” The closer the two of you got to the stairs, the more you could pick up the frustration in Namjoon’s voice. He walked from a hallway near the bottom of the stairs, phone raised to his ear. He had changed from his morning clothes into a pair of jeans and a blue sweater, something more presentable. He didn’t seem aware of the two of you, so engrossed with his conversation. His eyes were narrow behind his glasses. He was agitated in a way you hadn’t seen since he saved you from Choi the first time. And you were not a fan of seeing him angry. “You said you’d come today and now you’re flaking out on me when I need you? That’s really great, Jackson. No, I am not overreacting. I trusted my gut to a point, but I need hard facts here. I needed them yesterday. Just go with it? Jackson, they’re in my house now, and you’re telling me to go with it?! No, two days is not okay! Don’t make me chase you down, you son of a bitch.” He let out a growl that didn’t fit with his current image. Taehyung didn’t like how mad his leader was getting. The younger knew full well what Namjoon was so angry about and he wished he hadn’t used a flighty character like Jackson to do something Tae could have easily done. But he knew that Namjoon needed an outsider’s opinion. “Fucking fine, how long? You better be here in two days or so help me…,” he let the person on the other end of the phone fill in the blank before he ended the call with a huff.
Taehyung took the opportunity to clear his throat to announce your presence, which startled Joon more than he would have liked. It took him a second before he let his emotions slip back behind the mask of a calm leader you had come to expect. You were aware that Tae was standing closer to you than before, like he was securing your place next to him.
“Everything ok, hyung?”
“Yeah, sorry, didn’t see you there. How much did you hear?”
“Just you getting mad. But don’t worry, it’s all good.” You gather that Taehyung knew exactly what Namjoon was wanting from this Jackson person but didn’t want to explain it to you. He grabbed your hand with his free one and pulled you down the stairs. “Y/N got to meet Tannie. We know how much he doesn’t like new people and, guess what, he likes her. How great is that? He never likes people other than you guys so quickly. He must know she’s a good person.”
You weren’t sure what else that was supposed mean, but it made the wheels in Namjoon’s head start to turn. Was that conversation about you? Did he not trust you in his home? Then why had they discussed bringing you here? He had hesitated back when Taehyung had mentioned showing you around the house. You knew they wanted to be careful, but wasn’t it their idea to bring you in? Why would he be so concerned now? You remember that he was supposed to talk to you about it before bringing you here but had forgotten. Was it more than just easing you into this that he wanted to talk about? Maybe this was a mistake? Or were you just overthinking things again?
“Well, I’m taking Y/N to the courtyard. Don’t let Jackson mess you up. You’re smarter than him anyways. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
You started to follow Taehyung back down the hall. As you passed, you could tell that Namjoon was struggling with something. If it was about you, you wanted to tell him that you would do whatever made them more comfortable, even if that meant staying in one place like you wanted to with Hoseok. But Taehyung took your hand again and gave it a squeeze, like he knew you were overthinking things again. “Wait a second,” Namjoon said, voice sounding like he had come to a firm decision.
The two of you stopped and looked back at Bangtan’s leader. He took a deep breath. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here. And I mean it when I say welcome to our home. This is a bit new for us but considering the circumstances, this is the best option. Jin and I had been talking before about what happens when you come here, and both agree that we want you to be comfortable and not worried about anything. So, that being said, we came to an agreement about something very important. And I’ll let you decide what happens here. I know you said you want us to keep the darker side of our work away from you, and we have tried to respect that as much as possible. Being in our home may make that a bit more challenging. But we are still willing to do that if you want us to. But if you want, this may make being here a whole lot easier and may clear up some of those hesitations about us you may have,”
You were willing to listen to what he had to say. “What is it?”
“Yeah, hyung,” Taehyung said, tentatively, unsure of where this was going. “What do you mean? I don’t think we’ve talked about whatever this is.”
“We haven’t Tae. But Jin-hyung and I talked about it before and based on some gut feelings, this may be for the best for everyone. But it ultimately falls on Y/N to decide. Jin would like to say ‘hello’ to you. He’s in his lab.”
“Lab?” You had heard them mention a lab many times but you didn’t think that’s what it was. But by the way that Taehyung reacted to and, and how he had mentioned how you wouldn’t want to go down there, made you realize this was more than that.
“Namjoon-hyung, are you sure about that?”
He waved Taehyung off. “Like I said, this may make things for you much easier to understand and take some fear of us away. But if you prefer, we can just ignore it fully. But if you are willing, Jin-hyung would like to show you something in his lab. Jin-hyung does a lot of research and is working on something very important that may change how you see us. But it’s important. But if you don’t want to, I’ll understand, and we’ll keep pretending like nothing has changed. I give you control.”
You hadn’t had much control over the life you could remember. Leaving your ex and choosing to help Bangtan was really the first taste of control you had, and it was still scary. Maybe being in the dark was a good option. But them allowing you to have a say really meant a lot to you. The fear of what you would find out started to be outweighed by the prospect of clarity. But what if they were wrong? Was it better to stay in the dark? You started to wring your hands together. You had already started to change your view of them since Yoongi had talked about his past and Taehyung had showed you things you would have never thought you’d come to see from them. Was that enough to trust that Namjoon was doing what he thought was best? Looking into his eyes, you saw only patience as he allowed you time to process all the thoughts and feelings.
You took a deep breath. “I hope this goes the way you planned.”
****************************
As you followed in step behind Namjoon and Taehyung, with Yeontan held comfortably in the younger’s hand, in a darkened tunnel, you were really hoping that this would go the way Namjoon had hoped. They had taken you from the front foyer where you had started and down the same hall that led to the kitchen. You had been so had been so distracted by the pictures on the wall that you hadn’t noticed that there was an arched door to the left just before you reached the end of the hall. Namjoon pressed his thumb against a scanner on the doorknob and the sound of multiple heavy locks snapped open echoed against the walls. The door swung open to a granite stairway that was dimly lit. Namjoon had explained that this used to take guests down to the old train platform before they renovated it. When they had first taken residence, it had been so ill-kempt and dilapidated that they worried the tunnels would collapse. Most of the platforms and tunnels had been sealed and closed off. And a few that were in good condition were converted into something useful. But the biggest had been designated as Jin’s personal work area. At the bottom of the staircase, you could see the old remnants of the old train tunnels and platforms. The tunnel was dimly lit but you could still see the curve of the arched ceiling, the old support beams, the drop off from the platform to the old rail ways. Claustrophobia started to tighten its fingers around your throat, and your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag in some way to ground yourself. You were sure that anyone who had stumbled into here would have found it abandoned and unsafe. Which, in hindsight, was probably what Bangtan wanted. But you reminded yourself that they wouldn’t put you in danger. And this was supposed to help you.
Ahead of you, Taehyung and Namjoon were whispering to each other. You were trying not to eavesdrop, but you did catch that Tae seemed worried about this plan. At least he was trying to keep his promise to you and keep you away from things like this. You really did appreciate that and found yourself believing that he really was your friend here. This was a very big deviation from the plan that the two of you had agreed upon a few weeks ago. But something in the way that you caught Namjoon’s plea for the younger to trust him made you want to believe that this was to make everything better. You understood that this was a very big step for them and something that would probably never be taken into consideration. So, this had mean more than you anticipated. You didn’t want to try to imagine what you were being led to. Could it be a scare tactic to make sure you didn’t talk, or something to bribe you? Neither of those fit with the way that Namjoon had presented the option to come down here and you wanted to believe that Taehyung wouldn’t allow it. You took a deep breath to try to refocus your mind on anything else.
After a bit, as you started to wonder if there was ever an end to this dark tunnel, you could just make out the bricked-up wall that blocked the rest of the way. It was a dead-end, complete with road blockers covered in an inch of dust, caution tape that looked ancient, and crumbling stones. Another façade. Namjoon reached out to one of the broken bricks and pulled it down like it was a lever, which it was, as a door clicked. The door of bricks slid open like some secret passageway in a spy movie revealing a thick wall of steel and a flood of bright light illuminated your shocked face.
You felt like Alice after she fell down the rabbit hole as you stepped from the dark granite onto sterile white tile. How could you still be in the same place? Taehyung had called it a basement workshop and Namjoon had called it a lab, but this was beyond what you could have imagined based on those descriptions. It was like you had stepped into some blockbuster superhero’s hideaway. The lab was large, larger than the pharmaceutical one at Mercy. There seemed to be sections where different projects were being handled. Stainless steel tables were covered with different lab equipment that looked familiar, vials filled with many different liquids and powders, microscopes of varying sizes and usages, chemical analyzers, and centrifuges of the highest quality. On a wall, there were many canisters of different drugs based on the labels you could make out, many of them you had used in the hospital. Two people in white lab coats were noting some results of something in a petri dish that you were sure you didn’t want to know what it was. Looking behind the amount of lab equipment, there was a small medical area that looked like a walk-in clinic you had visited once before coming to Central. There was an exam table, stretcher, enough emergency medical supplies that made you feel like you were back in the ER. If they had all of this at their disposal, they surely didn’t really need you around. You remembered Jin had once mentioned he had medical training and took care of the others, but you assumed it was first aid training and not actual medical training.
On the other side of the room, as clean and as well organized as the lab and medical area, was another workshop that was dedicated to all sorts of different tools and weapons of their trade. There were blueprints for a variety of items pinned to a board with notes and arrows all around them. There were multiple wide touch screens with information and numbers, molds and mockups, knives, guns, and other weapons in different ranges of finishes. You could see three or four dummies that looked as if they had been very well used. One had a vest on with bullet holes in it, another had slashes and stab marks that you dared not think about. Further back, there was what appeared to be a small shooting target lined with thick glass that you assumed was bulletproof to protect the workers. There was another person in a white lab coat and goggles who was working intently on piecing together a handgun. And in the very center of the room, sat a huge computer with four different large, active screens, was Jin. He was dressed sharply, as he always was, complete with a stark white lab coat. A pair of round silver glasses slid down his nose as he scribbled something on a notepad while looked at something dissolving in a yellow liquid. He looked like some handsome yet mad scientist at work. The glow of the screens cast a pale pallor on his skin and you could see a tiredness on his drawn features. Whatever he was working on, he must have been at it for a while, or was stressing him out a bit.
“Did I somehow stumble into the Batcave?”
“Feels like that sometimes. Jin-hyung’s like the Korean Bruce Wayne isn’t he,” Taehyung laughed.
“I think he’d prefer Tony Stark,” Namjoon remarked.
“Aren’t they the same thing,” you asked.
“I’ll ignore that since you’re cute, Darling,” Jin called out, never looking from the liquid in the beaker in his hand. “But there is a preferrable difference.”
Yeontan started squirming in Taehyung’s arms until he was placed on the tile and ran to Jin’s side. The tiny puppy jumped, trying to climb up into his lap, crying out for more attention.
“Aish,” Jin exclaimed, dropping the beaker on the table, thankfully not breaking. “Taehyung why is Yeontan in my lab?! We talked about this.”
“But he missed his Uncle Jin so much,” Taehyung smirked.
Jin rolled his eyes as he scooped up the puppy and made his way over to the three of you. He handed the puppy back to Taehyung after scratching the pup’s tiny head. “Just keep an eye on him. I don’t want to think of what he could get into.” He turned his attention to you, flashing you a warm smile. “Welcome to my lab, Y/N. I’m so glad you decided to join us down here. I promise that you won’t regret it. I was hoping to meet you when you first got here but I’ve been quite busy. I trust Taehyung has shown you the house. Though,” he fixed the younger with a sideways glance, “I see he didn’t show you where to put your stuff down and has made you carry it all this way. I know I have taught you better manners than that.”
“No, he’s been such a good host. I just never set it down. Actually, it’s been nice to hang onto,” you explained, saving Taehyung from whatever tongue lashing he was about to receive. “It gives my nervous hands something to do.”
“Ah, well, we do know a bit about anxiety and habits here. Do whatever you need to feel comfortable.” He dusted off his hands and slipped his glasses into the top pocket of his lab coat.
Up close, Jin looked just as amazing as always. Your hands tightened around the strap of your bag again, just to keep from getting overwhelmed. This was going to be a normal occurrence if they were all going to be here with you. His pink hair was combed back from his face as if he had ran his fingers through it many times while working. He was wearing a white button up shirt with a grey sweater vest, dark trousers, and polished shoes. Somehow, he always looked like he was modeling for something. Though, you did notice a bit of bruising peeking out on his collarbone.
“Are you okay? It looks like you had some issues with CrossFit too.”
Jin looked at you with a look of utter confusion. “CrossFit?”
You nodded. “Yes, Namjoon has one too. He said he got it from doing CrossFit with you. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.”
Jin’s eye were drawn behind you to his members, who were silently trying to communicate without drawing your attention. Joon was pointing to the mark on his own neck before making a pleading motion with his hands. Taehyung was trying to communicate their intention with his eyes as much as possible.
“Oh yeah,” Jin said, slowly, realization striking him before he slid back into his trained persona so not to arise any suspicion from you. “CrossFit. Right. Well, you know how it goes. He crossed me so I did what I saw fit.” From behind you, Namjoon seemed to choke on air and Taehyung tried his best to stifle a laugh. You turned around to see what was going on, completely confused and clearly missing something. But Jin turned your attention back to him. “Don’t worry about me, Darling. My perfect skin may be marred for the moment but I will survive. But thank you for your concern.”
“Well, it is sort of my job. Though based on what I see, you really don’t need me.”
“Nonsense! You are a professional, and we could definitely use someone with your delicate touch. Whatever you may need, you can just ask. And if I don’t have it, I will get it for you faster than any hospital could. I know many higher ups in all the companies in the country and they would leap at the chance to get in my good graces.”
Suddenly, a loud bang ricocheted off the wall and made you scream and drop your bag, spilling its contents all over the floor. Bangtan only moved from your scream. Jin’s hands came up to grasp your shoulders, steadying you and trying to reassure you of your safety. He bend down so he was able to look into your eyes and whispered assurances that you were alright. From behind Jin, the young man who had been dealing with the handgun had finished piecing it together and fired a shot at the target. He looked over at you with a surprised look on his face, not realizing someone new was in the room. Taehyung had already crossed the room and snatched the gun from the younger’s hands and stowing it away. He gave Soobin a pointed look that spoke volumes. Namjoon had stoop down to start retrieving your bag.
“Soobin,” Jin yelled over his shoulder, “you didn’t think to look up before you shot that? Or at least put a silencer on it?”
“I’m sorry, sir,” the youth replied. “I’m really sorry ma’am.” He scrambled away from the work bench and over to you all to assist Namjoon in locating all of your items.
“I’m sorry, Darling, I really didn’t want something to scare you. My intention was to make this less scary for you. Here, come sit over here. Take a deep breath for me. Taehyung, can you go get her some water? Take another deep breath, Darling. Yes, just like that.”
“This was a mistake,” you said between breaths, alternating between wringing and shaking your hands to try get the tremors to stop. Your voice was cracking as you tried to keep from crying out of sheer panic. “I shouldn’t have agreed to come in here. Why did you think this would be a good idea? What was the point? To scare me into keeping your secrets?
“Absolutely not. We would never want to put you through that. We trust that you won’t say anything. This was to shed some light on what we’re actually doing here.”
Taehyung appeared next to you with a bottle of water, which you graciously took and swallowed half the bottle.
“Hyungs,” he pleaded, “maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. We wanted her to be comfortable and she asked us to hide this part of us as much as possible.”
“And we did,” Jin agreed. “Y/N, we tried. And it was easier when it was just going from your place to the hospital and back. But with you being in our house, unless we lock you up in the living room, it’s going to be hard for you not to see some aspect of our work. That’s why Joon and I had this conversation. We thought that after all the time we spent making this relationship with you that you’d trust us enough. And we thought if you saw what we are working on down here, it might clear the air and ease some of these anxieties that still plague you. But we’ve taken an unexpected turn. Just try to relax. You’re still shaking.”
“I wish I had taken Doctor Na’s offer for some new anti-anxiety medication,” you muttered to yourself, remembering his suggestion in the stairwell. You had a feeling your anxieties were just going to get worse.
You looked over as Namjoon came to the desk with your bag, all its contents gathered back inside. All except a familiar clear bottle. Your old medication that you had forgotten was in there since the night Doctor Na had followed you into the stairwell after you saw the exchange of U4-1A. The familiar want you felt then of wanting to down that last pill in the bottle and escape world came back. But you didn’t take it then, you didn’t need it now. You wanted nothing to do with that past life anymore. Hell, you only wanted to know what it was so you could find an alternative that wouldn’t remind you of Daniel. But the temptation was strong as Namjoon held it out for you.
“This is yours, right,” he questioned. “I found it rolled under a table. And it doesn’t look like anything Jin-hyung’s been working on.”
“It’s mine,” you said as you took it from him. “It’s old medication from my ex-…um, I mean, from my accident. I ran out and Doctor Na was trying to figure out what it was since the label’s been lost. But our hospital pharmacy couldn’t identify it. I forgot to clean out my bag with…everything going on.”
“May I?” Jin held out his hand for the bottle. You shrugged, handing it to him. He dumped the pill into his palm and started to examine it with the same focused intensity as he had earlier. He made a face. “A generic white pill with no discernable characteristics. And you don’t remember its name?”
“I don’t remember ever hearing it. I started taking it after I woke up from my accident. The nurse or my ex would just bring it to me. And then, Daniel would get it refilled after that since I couldn’t drive. When I came to Central, I only had what was left in the bottle and had to space it out. I haven’t taken it for a couple weeks now. It’s probably why my anxiety is really bad.”
“I can find out what it is for you. I guarantee I’ll have more success than some basic pharmacist fresh out of school. I’ve some connections I can talk with to help me analyze it. And,” Jin held up a hand to silence the protest you were about to pose, “these connections are not gang related. Before I became estranged from my family, I was the second heir to the largest pharmaceutical company in all the country. Despite my father’s best efforts, I was very friendly and charming with our specialists and made plenty of valuable connections to help me in the future. So, if anyone can figure out what this is, it’s me.”
You were stunned into silence. You remember him mentioning medical training and about his father pushing for a different career, but you never imagined he was a part of the Kim Pharmaceutical dynasty. Of course, you had heard of them; all the hospitals pharmacies in the city were stocked with their products, and every doctor read their research reports and trail information. They beat out every other company when it came to advancements in health services. And they were close to celebrity status amongst the papers. You recalled overhearing some pharmacy interns at lunch talking about them. They mentioned that the company was ran by the Senior Mr. Kim, who had been married twice after his first wife passed, leaving him with two sons to take over the company in the next few decades. The oldest was always showing up in the papers. And the second son was said to be away at some foreign school. Which, now knowing that Jin was the second son, was much better for their publicity than saying ‘a part of the most notorious drug dealing, ruthless Mafia families’. You remembered that night in your apartment when Jin had mentioned blackmailing his father for access to his assets. And, looking around at the lab, it seemed to have paid off well.
As you let the information settle in your mind, you realized that your hands had stopped shaking and your breathing had evened back out. They had successfully distracted you from your panic so your mind could recenter. Well, you recalled, they did say that they had experience with anxiety.
“Come on, Y/N,” Taehyung said, gently, “let’s head back upstairs. We’ll find something normal to distract ourselves until the others are ready for lunch.”
“Alright,” you said with a deep sigh, “but, before I have another panic attack here, what was so important that I had to come down here? Just tell me. Please.”
“Ah, of course,” Jin said, reaching over to a drawer and pulling out a small clear container. Inside, you could see several small, heart -shaped, pink tablets, no bigger than a breath mint. You had seen the news, read the papers, heard the doctors talking about it. That was U4-1A, Euphoria. When the first few cases had started coming into your ER, you were told to check and see if they had those heart-shaped pills on them, though you had never seen them. The distinct pink color was, also, a dead giveaway; it was the same color the user’s irises turned when they were high on the addictively deadly substance. The few times you had been in the room with some of the addicts that Doctor Na was working with, you recalled a rose-colored ring on the edges of their eyes that seemed so unnatural. Your stomach twisted at the thought of Henry taking the drug from Namjoon when he was supposed to be helping people. He couldn’t even deny it. “You know what this is?”
“Why the hell would you show that to me?! I asked for one thing. I could look past some things, try to ignore things. Like I could ignore the amount of money coming and going. I could ignore the weapons, or any other reminders. But I asked specificity for this not be mentioned.”
“Darling,” Jin chided in an amused tone, “I just asked what this was.”
“Are you fucking for real? It’s Euphoria…”
“Wrong,” Jin interrupted as he reached out and tapped you on the nose, completely taking you off guard and disarming you. “This isn’t Euphoria, or U4-1A. This is Euphoric. U4-1C.”
Never heard of that. “Okay. So, what? It’s a knock off?”
Jin looked offended. “A knock off. My dear, like me, it’s an original that others fail to compare to. It is the only one of its kind and so important to the work we do here. And before you insinuate, no, it is not what started this addict epidemic. The ones who have that despicable honor are Ji and the Royals. This” he held it up to you again so you could see it was more closely shaped like a triangle, “is my solution to it. For the past five or six years now, I have been secretly working on a counter agent to make that horrid drug obsolete and save the people who either willing or unwilling were made to take it. This is going to be the antidote. It’s not finished fully. I haven’t been able to fully identify the exact formula the Royals use. And it’s not an instant cure. But introducing this to someone going through withdrawals, instead of to induce a sexual release, the addict would just need to exert themselves another way, like exercise or something else that released the pleasure signal in the brain. It takes a lot of time and constant dosing but I’ve gotten it to where after so long it can be tapered off from every day to once a month, and soon only once every other month. I am making a cure. And we pass it out to those in need. That’s what I wanted you to see. That we aren’t the bad guys. Well… at least not for this.”
You let his words absorb and you felt like you had been doused with cold water. So, when Hwasa cornered Namjoon in the hallway of the hospital and took something from his pocket and mentioned ‘someone will find your kindness absolutely… euphoric’, she was taking an antidote to someone addict to U4-1A? That means…what Namjoon had given Henry, what Henry had used for his patients, what he couldn’t talk about was that he was accepting a possible progressive treatment for the poor souls in the hospital. He was, indeed, a good person. And you had thought the worst of him. Any time he tried to talk to you, you’d run in the other direction. You blocked his number and deleted any trace in your phone. You had thrown away everything because you didn’t want to believe him when he had begged you to trust him.
“Oh my god,” was all you could say as your head fell into your hands. “I have made a total ass of myself.” Was there a chance Henry would listen to your apology after all of that?
“You see,” Taehyung said, “I told you we knew the damage Euphoria does to people. We’ve been trying to fight this.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Like that night in the car?”
“It’s still a work in progress and a secret,” Namjoon said. “Only a few gangs that have proven trustworthy know we supply it. And they distribute it within their own territory. Or, in the case of your doctor friend, those who did us a great service. We did intimidate him into silence. Which was what you must have seen. Can’t say I blame you for what you thought based on what it looked like. He’d get more if he stayed silent. We don’t want our name attached to it just yet. The Royals already want us dead based on our past with them and our part in the Great War. If they knew what Jin-hyung was doing, it would a bigger target on our backs. But once it’s completely finished, then we’ll openly distribute it to the hospitals and clinics. But we hope that you understand the importance of this secret for us. It’s more than just our lives at risk if the wrong people get word of it. And if Choi already thinks that you’re with us, imagine how much worse it will be when he finds out that we are destroying yet another income for them. Do you understand, Y/N?”
“This whole time, you’ve been doing a great feat and I’ve been so focused on the rumors. You really are the good guys trying to help?”
“We’re really good at hiding ourselves. We’ve had years of practice showing the persona we want people to believe.
“Yeah,” Taehyung said with a cheeky grin, “I mean look at Namjoon-hyung. He puts on a persona that he’s smooth when, in reality, he’s a giant dork who breaks everything he touches.”
“I’ll break you, you fucking brat.”
Jin reached out and knocked both of them upside the head. “Language!”
And you laughed. You laughed without the weight of anxiety or fear weighing you down. For the first time, you felt like you were truly safe.
****************************
The next couple of days went by in a pleasant way, falling into a simple routine that you started to look forward to. One of them would pick you up in the morning, making sure to stop by Holli’s Café for a morning caffeine fix, before taking different ways to the Magic Shop that ensured you were still none-the-wiser as to how to get there. Once there, you would find Yoongi either waiting in the kitchen for you or in the expansive gym where you would start with his rehabilitation exercises after you checked and redressed his wounded shoulder. Now that Yoongi was home, there was a difference from the person at the hospital. He was still quiet but much more open to conversations and approachable. The conversations between the two of you were deep and easy like the ones you had with Amber. And you looked forward to them. There was one time you had made a stupid joke that had made him laugh freely. And that felt like a simple accomplishment that warmed you up. And you couldn’t help but find his laugh adorable. One morning, he brought you to his ‘Genius Lab’. According to the others, it was incredibly rare that he even mentioned his safe haven to outsiders, let alone let them see it. But he had made an exception for you.
The Genius Lab was more like an office where Yoongi spent a good deal of time juggling between work, reflection, and solitude when the world became too much. The space suited his style; grey walls with dark accents and floors, a sleek black desk with three large monitors and computer equipment. Opposite the desk was a long black leather couch that looked quite comfortable. And the room was completely soundproof. When he had brought you into the Genius Lab, he showed off some of his work. You watched as he pulled up different views of various streets all over Central, some storefronts where he pointed out Bangtan’s hired help stationed out front, and the exteriors of the hospital popped up on the screens. You were very thankful that they were still monitoring your workplace. Yoongi tapped on a few keys and different angles of your apartment appeared across the screens, both outside and inside. He played back your morning; Hobi pulling up in a nondescript black car, him swaying to the music in his earpiece as he rode the elevator up, to letting himself into your apartment and waiting for you with Holli’s coffee in his hand. You remembered Taehyung telling you about the cameras they put in your apartment that first morning. While you thought it would be more invasive, you found comfort in his watchfulness.
This morning had started as usual; Jin had come to pick you up this time to bring you to the Magic Shop. The only one you hadn’t seen since arriving at the Magic Shop was Jimin. He hadn’t appeared at lunch the first day as you expected. You shrugged it off, remembering that Hobi had mentioned he hadn’t been feeling well. But you still hadn’t seen or heard from him. The drive over to the Magic Shop was as winding and secretive as always. Though they had started going in a different way. From the street, it looked as if he had pulled up to an abandoned auto mechanic gas station in the lower section of town. At the touch of a button on the dashboard, a spray-painted door rolled open to a dark tunnel that ended at the parking level of the Magic Shop. You wanted to question how the construction worked or how it had remained secret but decided against it.
As you ascended the spiral staircase after Jin, that was where the morning took an unusual turn.
When you stepped into the large front foyer, you were greeted by the sounds of a struggle. Instinctually, you grabbed ahold of Jin’s arm and hid behind his broad shoulders, causing him to chuckle at the cute action. Coming through the front door was a blindfolded man being dragged in by both arms by Yeonjun and another hired staff member. He was yelling all sorts of vulgarities and kicking out in many directions, like he was throwing a tantrum and not trying to escape.
“Motherfucker! I told you to stop manhandling me like this! You know who I am? I will mess you up!”
“Such dramatics,” Jin bemused, “He acts like he hasn’t gone through this before. Yeonjun, did he cause you a lot of trouble?”
“Sir,” Yeonjun snapped to attention, still keeping his captive held tightly. “He tried to give us the slip. We met him at the appointed time but he tried to run. Even tried to jump out of the car.”
Jin tsked. “Jackson, so disappointing. I thought we had a better relationship than that.”
“Jin,” Jackson called out, head snapping in different directions to try and focus on him from behind the blindfold, “buddy, come on. I got the times mixed up and your boy jumped on me. Can we take this stupid blindfold off? I thought we’d be past this.”
“Jackson, you are like a rash; unwanted, hard to deal with, and annoying.”
“Damn, that hurt.” Yeonjun shoved Jackson forward, causing the man to stumble freely. He ripped the blindfold off his face and turned back to the younger, fist clenched. “Fucking punk, I’ll wipe that fucking smile off your prepubescent face!”
“Jackson,” Jin said in a commanding tone that in any other situation would be attractive. Stop it, you mentally screamed. “Refrain from threatening my employee in my home before I let him show you why he’s one of our best. Be a good boy and mind your manners. I’ll go get Namjoon to deal with you. Yeonjun, just make sure he stays here and doesn’t try to slip something into his pocket again. I’ll be right back.” Jackson snorted and rolled his eyes as he straightened himself out. Jin turned around to you, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be back in a moment, Darling. Don’t worry, Jackson is like a tiny dog; he’s all bark and nothing else, and easy to kick.” Jin’s eye flicked up towards the corner of the room with a sharp look before he turned back to you with a smile. That was weird. “Yoongi-ah should be here soon. Just hang tight and introduce yourself if you want to. And if Jackson does anything ungentlemanly, just tell Yeonjun and he’ll make him regret it.”
Before you could beg to just run upstairs, Jin patted you on the shoulder and disappeared. You had to remember that Bangtan would never leave you in any danger since they were bound to protect you. You remembered hearing Namjoon mention Jackson’s name before and figured they wouldn’t bring someone into their home that was a danger. You looked over to Jackson. The man’s dual toned hair was messy from his struggling. He pulled a pair of sunglasses from his baggy pants pocket and pushed them up onto his head, like a makeshift headband.
Then, he noticed you. And you felt like you were a mouse caught in a snake’s site. A cool smile smoothed across his lips as he made his way over to you.
“Well, look at you. I’ve never seen you around here before. What’s a cute, little thing like you doing here? I’m Jackson. You need anything, I’m the one who will know how and where to find it. Individual contractor. Know-it-all extraordinaire. Master of the Silver Tongues.” He offered his hand out for yours.
“Um, hi, I’m Y/N.” You hesitated to shake his hand.
“So, what are you? You’re too cute to be related to any of them. You look far too meek to be one of us. And I’d hope you have better taste than to be trying to date one of these losers when someone like me exists. I can tell you, you can do better. I’ve known these guys for a long time. Trust me, they’ve got odd taste that would disagree with such a cute mouse like you.”
You retracted your hand. Jackson started to circle you, eyeing you up and down. It wasn’t threatening but you kept your eyes on him. Yeonjun gave you a look but you waved him off for the moment. You could handle yourself.
“I’m a nurse. I’m assisting them after an incident.”
“Ooh a nurse? What luck, I’m in need of some attention after all that rough housing.” He winked. “Oh, shit, wait, you’re the one that ran into the gun fight? And took out one of the Royal’s guys? I heard he’s still recovering from severe concussion. Mad respect, sweetheart.”
“How do you know about that?”
“I make it my business to know things. That’s how I make a living. And why I’m in such demand. Word of what you did has made its rounds through many circuits. Though, I’ll be honest, I’d never be able to put your face to it. And that’s a good thing in this world. Though, if you want to be extra safe from the bad guys, you may want to reconsider who you’re staying with.”
“What do you mean by that?” You turned to follow his eyes as he kept circling you. “Bangtan seems to be taking good care of me. And I don’t mean anything by this, but I haven’t heard anything about you until now.”
“Isn’t that the point? I’m good at staying secret, keeping things secret. And they’re so high profile, it would be easy to find you if they slipped up. There are some things that can’t be bought from me. Like a cute, little mouse. And if I wanted to keep someone safe, I’d make sure no one ever found them. Especially, if they are as interesting as you.”
“I’m interesting?”
“How could you not be? You’re so innocent, so different from all the other people I’ve ever met. You just want to help, didn’t know what you were running into. And now you’re stuck, hiding from the mean world that is trying to punish your good deed. I mean, I’ve been their friend for years and I can’t say I’d run into a fight with Choi to save someone he’s trying to kill. So yeah, you’re the most interesting person in the world. And I’d love to get to know you better. Maybe you’ll let me take you out sometime to prove I’m a better waste of your time.”
“And what makes you think I’d be okay with that?”
“Well, I can give you a hundred reasons to leave these losers behind.” He stopped circling and leaned in so his nose was only a breath away from yours. “But I’m the only one that you need.”
Unbeknownst to Jackson, Yoongi had appeared at the top of the staircase as Jackson started circling you. He watched the interaction with a scowl on his face. He descended the stairs with a ghostly quiet until he was right behind the rogue. You noticed him as Jackson had stopped to lean towards you and your breath caught in your throat. He looked mad, a fierce protectiveness was present in his dark eyes. He appeared at the right moment. Then, you realized. Yoongi had cameras in the Magic shop, he had mentioned it. And the look Jin had given to the wall that you didn’t understand must have been to one of Yoongi’s cameras that he was watching for when you had arrived as he had done before. They were still watching out for you. He stood so close to Jackson that you wondered how the other hadn’t sensed him yet, his face right next to his shoulder and gaze boring a hole in Jackson’s head. Jackson noticed that you were no longer paying him the attention he wanted and turned his eyes towards the directions yours were on. And he jumped as if he had just been electrocuted, putting some distance between him and the death glare he was receiving.
“Fucking hell, you bastard! Put a bell on your fucking neck! Damn, you scared the shit out of me!”
“Good,” Yoongi said as he kept his eyes trained on Jackson. “Leave her alone, Jackson. She’s got enough problems without you trying to weasel your way into her bed.”
“You wound me, Suga. I was just introducing myself to the lucky lady who is now one of the most famous women in our field.”
“I said,” he took a step closer to him, and despite his arm still in a sling, he looked as if he was about to use it on Jackson, “leave her alone.”
“Wow, back down, tiger. Sheesh, didn’t think you’d be so concerned about someone like her. Don’t you have your hands full already? Or are you just greedy? Or are you guys taking turns?”
“Jackson!”
Namjoon’s voice echoed against the walls. You looked up to the second floor where RM was leaning on the banister overlooking the foyer with Jin by his side glaring down at Jackson. RM looked as annoyed as his voice let on. He was all business with no sign of the calm Namjoon you had been seeing around the Magic Shop. With a power that befitted the Leader of Bangtan, he signaled for Suga to stand down and motioned for Jackson to follow him. With a final look and wink from Jackson to you, he flipped Yoongi off and made for the stairs. Suga, silently, watched him go, making mental notes for the future before he reached back and took your hand in his. You jumped, slightly. He hadn’t been physical with you like the others had, holding your hands, giving you a hug or playful shove. There was always a bit of distance, aside from the medical side of things.
“Come on, Y/N. Let’s get out of here.”
He had led you upstairs, asking if you were alright. While Jackson was a lot, it wasn’t something you couldn’t have handled. But you thanked him anyways for stepping in. It felt nice to have someone be so protective of you, something you weren’t so used to. He started leading you up towards the direction of the Genius Lab, where he insisted you stay until Jackson was gone, since it was secure and private, instead of the normal spaces you tended to occupy. Thankfully, the physical therapy you needed to do with Yoongi didn’t require much space and you carried all the equipment you needed in your bag. You figured Yoongi was not a fan of Jackson normally, remembering the disdain in his voice when Joon had mentioned him back at the hospital before. You were sure that Jackson’s display back in the foyer only made that worse and he wanted to keep an eye on when he left.
As you made it to the floor, Yoongi stopped. “I almost forgot. I need to check on something real quick. Can you remember how to get to the Genius Lab?”
“I think so. Do you need help?”
“No. I just need to check on Jimin. I won’t be long.”
“Is he alright? Is he still not feeling well? I can take a look if you need me to. That’s kind of my whole thing.”
He gave your hand a squeeze as a little chuckle sat in his throat. “No, it’s nothing you need to worry about right now. He’s coming down with something but is putting off taking his medicine as long as he can. He’s being stubborn. Gets it from me, probably. I’m just making sure he’s still in his room resting. I’ll only be a moment. I promise. Here, this is my key to the Lab. Let yourself in and lock it. I use my code on the door. Not that I think Jackson will know where my office is but just to be safe.”
Some part of you hated when he let go of your hand to head down the other side of the hall. You had to take a few breaths to let your professional masks fall back into place. You wished your emotions would settle. But being around someone as cute and protective had you feeling a certain way. A way which, you reminded yourself, you shouldn’t be feeling. You were hired to help him heal, not to let a crush develop. You really needed to get a grip. Yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as you made your way down the hall.
However, after a few steps and turns, you had lied when you thought you could find the Genius Lab on your own. The only places you knew how to get to without much assistance was the kitchen, gym, and the family room. You had only been to the Genuis Lab once and you racked your brain for any distinguishing details that would help you find it again. What picture was near the door? What color was the door? Was the one with frosted glass or was that Taehyung’s art studio? You could just stand still and wait for Yoongi to come back and find you. Or you could text him that you were going to back to the foyer. Or text one of the others for help? Joon was busy with Jackson, and you weren’t sure where Jin went after that. Jimin, of course, was sick and shouldn’t be disturbed. And you wanted Yoongi to focus on Jimin and not you getting lost. You sent a text to Taehyung, hoping he wasn’t too busy to help you with what he was up to in town. You walked further down the hall only to stop and turn around after not recognizing anything.
Wait, was this the same place you had started? Why must this place be so confusing?
Your phone buzzed. You looked down at Taehyung’s text.
TaeTae: I really got to make you a map LOL.
TaeTae: Do you remember how to find the stairs? Get back there and look for your favorite painting of mine. The G.L is two doors down from that.
TaeTae: If you can’t find it, I’m sure he’ll find you with the cameras. Sorry, I’m at a meeting right now.
You could do this. Just find the stairs. Though that was easier said than done now that you had gotten all turned around. You’re sure Taehyung would make a joke out of this if you were ever found. After another turn, you did see a picture that seemed familiar and went down that direction. As you kept walking, you started to hear voices. At least that was a start. Once you found the source, you could orient yourself or ask for help. You followed the voices, and as they got louder, you recognized RM’s tone and regretted your discussion, not wanting to interrupt. That, and you were sure Yoongi didn’t want you near Jackson again so soon. But as you were about to turn back, their conversation caught your attention.
“Haven’t I been super helpful to ya’ll? Who was the one who gave you that info about the Royals showing up?”
“You, also, neglected to tell us that Choi was going to be there. And that is how Suga got hurt.”
“An oversight. That must have changed at the last minute. I can’t be a mind reader.”
“Even though you market yourself as one?”
“Ok, true. But you of all people should know that they don’t do what they say. Regardless, I told you about the Ateez pirates. I said they were up to something interesting. You should trust me by now. I got the information. I may be an independent player in this game, but I like you guys. That’s why I keep my ears open for you. And, I haven’t spilled anything of yours.”
“That’s because I don’t let you get anything worth spilling.”
“Ouch, you wound me, bro. I thought we were closer than that.”
Before you could help yourself, you found yourself stopped outside of Namjoon’s office. The door was barely cracked, but enough for you to see a bit inside. Namjoon’s office was much different from Yoongi’s; it was a large room with warm hardwood against velvety walls that declared power, with bookcases lining the grand walls. Thick hard-covered books filled the shelves like an extensive library. Seated at an opulent and ornate desk in a high wing backed chair was RM, his fingers threaded together and pressed against his lips as he peered sharply at Jackson. Jackson sat relaxed in a smaller, less comfortable chair. They were bathed in the crackling light of a roaring fire from the Victorian style fireplace that sat across from them. This was what you expected of a Mafia leader.
“I don’t appreciate you making my second so upset. He’s supposed to be recovering. Something he wouldn’t have to be doing had you had better information. Maybe I should start going to someone else.”
Jackson scuffed. “As if anyone could do what I do. Besides, I feel like you would have done it by now if there was anyone else. And if that asshole wasn’t so easily riled up he would be fine. I was just saying ‘hello’ to her. And trying to figure her out. She’s quite a surprise Joon.”
“We are trying to keep her safe. That includes from you, Jackson. She’s a civilian who got caught up in the worst way. We just got her to relax around us. I’d thank you to not undo what I’ve been working hard to do.”
“I hear you. Glad you took my advice to just go with it. I told you nothing bad would happen. I mean, what did you just say? ‘She’s a civilian’. I truly doubted she would be any problems.”
“No thanks to you.” Joon leaned further in his chair, his dragon eyes glowing in the fire light. “I’ve been patient, Jackson. More than I should be given what I am dealing with here. Now, you are going to tell me what I asked you to find out for me before I let Suga do what he wanted to do.”
“Damn, for someone who said it’s all business, you’re really pushing it here.”
“Jackson,” you could tell that Namjoon’s patience was wearing thin. What was he so determined to know? Was it something to do with Choi or the Royals?
“Man, look. I can find information about anyone. With just their name, I can tell you if they had late fees from their elementary school library or how many days their mother spent in the hospital recovering from birth.”
“And yet, it has taken you over a week to get back to me. Either you are slipping or you are full of shit.”
“Or you’re dealing with a ghost.” Jackson reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small notepad. “Everything I found fits on two pages of this little flip pad. Even the most basic civilian fills half of the pages. But this Y/N girl is either that most boring person in the entire world or she’s a ghost.”
Wait, he was here about you? Namjoon was looking for information about you? You thought you had been very open with them about anything they had asked you. He had asked you to trust him, but he didn’t trust you. He had hired Jackson to dig up anything on you that he could. He was nervous when you had first come to the Magic Shop but you thought you had worked past that. Hadn’t the time they had spent with you beforehand been enough to prove that you meant no harm to them or else why would he ask you to come here? You knew you shouldn’t listen to any of this, but you couldn’t move. You sunk to the ground and leaned against the wall, listening.
“What are you talking about?”
Jackson tossed the pad over to him to see for himself. “I mean, this girl has nothing before two years ago. All I could find is that she currently works at Central Mercy as an ER Nurse, she lives in a shitty apartment that’s overpriced for that part of town. Before that, there isn’t much. I found her college she attended for her expedited nursing degree where she got high marks. Her father worked for different police forces as a high up desk jockey, meaning she moved a lot so there isn’t much in regard to early years. But nothing else. Everything starts about two years ago. I was able to find a news article about a car accident that listed her as a passenger, so her amnesia story checks out as far as that. Can’t said I ever heard of someone using amnesia as a cover, but fuck if it wouldn’t be good. Father died and there was no mother listed on any paperwork. Father’s file is just as blank. Just he was basic cop who sat at a desk. After the accident, her only known address was some small studio in her name that was set up by the rehab she was assigned to by some Doctor Sung, who died a year after from a heart attack. Found all his files but it’s nothing interesting. She did some reception job for a clinic before she came here that was a nonprofit for student nurses and that had nothing useful other than what I already had. But that’s all. No ties anywhere, no real records until recently. Either she’s got the most boring, nonspecial life I’ve ever seen, or her life’s been invented by some crazy mastermind. And I’m leaning towards the first one, man. This girl is boring and is nothing in the grand scheme of things. And that’s the truth. The most interesting thing was meeting you guys. She’s harmless. She’s no threat to anyone except maybe herself with that stupid heroic shit. So, you worried for nothing. Your family is safe, just like I said it would be.”
“How can that be all?” Namjoon seemed disappointed. “You’re telling me that there was no other information? How can someone’s life just go back two years? You must have missed something.”
“I don’t miss shit. Listen, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but that’s all there is. Her old man must have been from some off the grid town beforehand and didn’t leave footprints. She’s a nobody. She’s barely worth the time I spent looking for her. So, stop worrying about her like she’s gonna turn into some problem. And if she does, you can kill her easily enough. Hell, there are seven of you, should be easy.”
You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your lips. Namjoon’s eyes snapped towards the door, knowing full well that he had been caught. He rose from the desk and crossed the room, opening the door to find you rooted in place against the wall, eyes cast down with tears welling in the corners. It wasn’t just from the threat of being killed by the people you were supposed to trust, or the harsh words that Jackson had said about you. But it was the fact that you weren’t trusted. You were not granted the same thing he had begged you to do for them. And that hurt just as much.
“Oh shit,” Jackson said with a hint of glee. “Little mouse likes to sneak around, huh? I can see why you didn’t want to trust her. Seems like she’ll get herself killed before too long.”
“Jackson,” RM roared causing you to shrink further into yourself and the tears to flow freely. Namjoon looked down at you, instantly regretting his tone. He had messed up and he knew that. Moving carefully, he held his hand out to you in a silent plea to take it. Feeling like there was no other choice, you let him pull you up to your feet and into his office. Daring to look at his face, you didn’t see anger or any dangerous threat that you feared for your eavesdropping. You saw remorse and sympathy. He led you towards the fireplace where there were two large armchairs facing each other with a side table full of half-read books. He motioned you to sit before he turned back to Jackson. He took out his phone and sent a quick message. Within a moment, Yeonjun appeared in the door. “That’s enough, Jackson. Thank you for your help. But I need to talk to Y/N. Yeonjun will take you back where he found you. You know the drill.”
“Wow, fastest visit ever. Am I at least getting paid?” Namjoon shot him a look that made him jump and scurry over to the door. “Don’t look so sad, sweetheart. I’m sure he isn’t going to kill you. Let me know if you want to take me up on my offer.”
Yeonjun grabbed Jackson by the collar and dragged him out, shutting the door behind him, leaving you alone with Namjoon and the crackling fire. You thought back to when he had saved you when Choi had you cornered in the hospital hall, how good natured he had been with you, how he had been so open with you before he even knew anything more about you. He had been the one pushing for you to trust them and be comfortable with them. He had wanted you to come to the Magic Shop, was planning on telling you before he got busy. But was it all a ruse to get you to follow along? A handkerchief was pushed into your hands and Joon took a seat in the opposite armchair.
“Y/N, I’m sorry you heard that.” He was sorry? Was he going to reprimand you for eavesdropping? Or tell you that all this was a farce that he was going to drop and forget this life debt he kept pushing? “I was hoping to have talked to him before you ever got here. Just for some extra assurance before we moved forward. I didn’t want you to ever hear that. Jackson can say things harsher than he means. I asked him to do a more detailed background check than I had already done, just to ensure I had all the facts.” He flinched when your breath hitch as more tears fell. He started to reach out his hand to try and comfort you but thought better of it. “I promise, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just needed to be completely sure that we were all going to be safe.”
“I wouldn’t have hurt any of you. I can barely handle myself, let alone do anything to you all,” you cried. “Why would I put myself in this situation? I tried to get away from all of this but you kept me here. I would have told you all of that stuff. It’s all I know about myself since the accident. I have nothing to hide from anyone. I promise I have only told you the truth.”
“I know you have. I’m sure you would have told me everything freely. I fucked up. I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”
“Was he right? Are you going to kill me? Because I seem like a made-up person? Because I don’t have a past?”
“No!” Namjoon rose from his seat and knelt down in front of you, finding your eyes and begging for your attention. “I would never do that. I promised to protect you. And I would do that whether you owed us a life debt or not. This life I’ve been living for the past twelve years has made me question so much about people. I’ve been lied to so many times that it fucks up your mind. Bangtan is my family and it’s my responsibility to protect them. When I met you, I instantly felt like I could trust you. I could see that you were a good person. But we had been fooled by someone we thought we could instantly trust before and I got nervous. But the more we spent with you, I knew it was different. But there was this little part of me that still worried. So, I looked into you after that first day. That’s why I introduced us as Bangtan to you. The others agreed because they saw what I saw in you. We've all been jaded by this life but something in you broke through all of our hesitations. We all think you are a good person and that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt us. Once we got you to see what we really were, I thought this would be easier on all fronts.”
“You asked me to trust you but you couldn’t do the same for me?”
“I know. It’s been so long since I could really trust someone. Look at Jackson. Okay, bad example. But I’ve known Jackson almost as long as I’ve known the others. But I still need to keep him at arm’s length or watch what I say around him. It’s different with you. I want to trust you, I do. I just needed to be extra sure that I was doing the right thing. I truly mean that.”
You sat in silence for a long while as your breath evened out and your tears ceased. You could understand his hesitation. How could he be sure that you weren’t lying? It made sense, but hearing Jackson’s words, imagining that’s how they saw you, it was hard. But you had been so back and forth with their trust, too.
“I really wish we could just start over.”
“What do you want to know?” You took a deep breath and leaned back into the armchair. “What else do you need to hear? You want to be sure? Ask away. I only know so much. You guys have asked me to trust you and you told me things that would be helpful. I will try to do the same so we can share a common ground. Maybe one day I’ll know more and I can tell you more. But I can tell you what I can.”
“It’s fine, Y/N. You don’t need to do that. I trust you.” He stood up and moved towards his desk. But you grabbed his hand, steeling yourself to open up as much as you could. He could sense your determination and returned to the armchair. “Just tell me whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“I never really talk about this. It’s hard to talk about. But I can confirm that what Jackson said was all true. It’s actually pretty much all I know for myself. My first actual memory is waking up in a small hospital room in so much pain. There was a man sitting next to me that I didn’t remember. He was my friend, he showed me pictures of us at school. His name was Daniel. I don’t know his last name, I never asked or remembered it. He’s the one who told me about the accident. My father’s car was hit from the side and flipped. He didn’t make it. Daniel spent weeks by my side as I recovered. Dr. Sung was this older doctor who watched over me and helped me recover. Once I was moved to his rehab, Dr. Sung prescribed me all these different treatments but my memories never came back. Daniel brought me my old schoolwork, my old journals, anything that could help me find myself. But there wasn’t much. Jackson said something about us moving a lot. After a year, I could recall little things about places I believe I lived. But there was never anything concrete. No friends or family reached out. Daniel told me that it was just me and dad. He had never heard us talk about anyone else. I guess we didn’t stay long in places. After I was released from the rehab, Daniel and I moved into this small apartment that was far away from everything. The rehab set it up to help me adjust to the world. But I was like a zombie, depressed, broken. After six months, I started trying to get better, start over. Daniel and I started dating, I found a job that was walking distance from my place. All my medical training came back over time. Just not anything else. And that was my life for almost two years. But, almost five months ago, Daniel and I split up and I came to Central to get away from all the unpleasantness. I’d prefer not to go into that if that’s alright. We weren’t good together anymore. Since I’ve been away, I’ve started remembering little flashes of things that don’t make a lot of sense. Amber thinks it’s because I’m away from the trauma. I don’t even know if I want to remember anymore. But if I remember anything more, I promise I’ll tell you once I figure it all out.”
Namjoon reached out and took your hand. “It’s okay. Thank you for sharing that with me. I promise to be more upfront about any questions I have. I trust you.”
“I trust you, too.”
#bts fic#bts mafia au#bts imagines#bts smut#bts fanfic#bemylightfanfic#be my light fic#be my light#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#yoongi x reader#bts x reader#poly ot7#ot7 x yn#ot7 x reader#long reads#really long post#bangtan sonyeondan#jackson wang
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“run.”
pairings — bts x reader
genre — suggestive fluff
summary — pranking bts with a… special interview
authors note — taehyung in paris im in love
"HEYYY!"
from the offset, armys could tell something was off. the way jin and taehyung immediately looked down with smirks upturning the corners of their lips, the way hoseoks smile just slightly faltered into an expression of shock before his eyes glistened like never before. and namjoons wide eyes sending you a look screaming i know what you're up to.
the others weren't any better either, deciding on simply chuckling when you stepped into the room with a flimsy stack of cards in hand.
"hello guys, it’s lovely to meet you. my name is y/n. i will be your interviewer today!!!" you tittered, knowing damn well that they knew who you were but you had a persona to keep up and you’d be damned if you let it end this early.
you had been close to jimin since your younger years, having fought over who was the better dancer despite you both knowing it was him. sometimes you just liked to rile him up. you came together once your three week dispute finally ended (he had given you a flower he found and everything was quickly forgotten).
jimin stayed close by your side, and by his other side was his beloved members so it wasn't a big surprise when you all came together. you built a close relationship with them rather quickly as you watched them take on the world and they watched you do whatever you pleased. you always had some kind of scheme up your sleeve, like when you somehow managed to become employed in their hairstyling team and convinced everyone to dye their hairs the colours of the rainbow because you could hear the voice inside you saying that this “incorporated the true meaning of their concept better".
you never did listen to that voice deeming it as too responsible, but it came in handy here.
you couldn't hold back your joy when two days later, you were met with a blue taehyung and orange jimin looking rather spectacular.
once the group realised this was your doing, they weren't pleased (even after your endless compliments that jungkook claimed you owed them) and so you quit that job and became an interviewer.
"hello, it's nice to meet you, y/n. we are bts and we couldn't be more excited for this interview today." namjoon smiled but the glint of worry that flashed through his eyes juxtaposed it.
"before we start can i just say that i'm a really huge fan of the hair. you guys look truly delectable." you smirked, feeling content with the soft blush that rose on jins ears and the shy smile on yoongi's lips.
"today we're going to be answering questions taken directly from your fans across a number of social media platforms, they have a lot to ask. some of the questions focus on separate members to give each of you a chance to share something about yourselves and get real personal with your amazing fans."
the group nodded but jimin wasn't okay with the smirk that remained on your face, he had faced many of your jokes and knew better than to trust you in a situation like this.
you cleared your throat, "this is from jooniesfiance94,” namjoons eyes widened and the others attempted to hold back their chuckles. it wouldn't be so funny to them in a few minutes.
"can joon choke me with his titties? like now."
his face paled, "wha.. uh thanks?? but no i cannot." his reaction had you bussin up but you couldn't afford to waste time before moving on to the rest.
“okay, next one!! from kimseokdilf, it’s 5 am. why is jin not in my bed feeding me eggs or his fingers? both are needed : ((."
jin immediately stopped giggling with jungkook and grimaced but covered it up with a smile "aah thank you, thank you. i make perfect eggs, you know? yes my eggs are very very lovely." he smiled at the camera before shifting his vision and glaring at you.
“well jin you do have the reputation of being the cook in the group, so it's no surprise that you make fantastic eggs." you softly laughed. "this comes from weluvjhope, does hoseok like sushi? i need to know where i should take him on our first date."
"oooooh," hoseok smiled, holding a hand to his heart. he had gotten the brunt of your last prank, yellow tresses glistening under the studio lights, so you decided to go easy on him plus you also had a soft spot towards him because who didn't?
"i don't mind any food as long as i'm with army!" he smiled, soft eyes shining bright. you cheesed, he was too cute sometimes.
"okay chokemejeon wants to know why are bts so attractive?? i will really grab jungkook and kiss the shit out of him." jungkook wanted to swat you. you knew how he disliked things like this, unable to deal with bold affection as such but here you were, sitting there with that proud smirk on your face.
with pink stained cheeks, he rubbed his face and grinned, “thank you, we try our best to look good for army.”
“is that it?” you smirked, you and jungkook always had a small feud between you and you planned to milk this as much as possible. “you’re not gonna comment on their strong desire to, and i quote, kiss the shit out of you?”
“ah well they can’t kiss me but you can kiss my photocard.” he squirmed under your attention and threw a finger heart to the camera beside him.
“ooh! so cute!! next we have a question from sugassoulmate, i can’t be the only one who wants to feel the power of yoongs tongue technology? like daaaaamn i KNOWWW it would send me to heaven and back!!”
yoongi just stared at the ground, blinking slowly. he didn’t have anything to say back because what they were insinuating was extremely clear and he wanted no part in it.
“the phrase “tongue technology” is a phrase i used to emphasise the power of words, especially in songs. people often forget to listen to the words they’re singing and rock to the beat, which is fine, but we often forget the authority in the messages artists portray. however.. i don’t think it has the ability to send you to heaven and back.”
you internally sighed. out of all the members it would be yoongi to turn a provocative remark as such into a life lesson. the hate you had for his intelligence had never been higher.
“oh.” speechless. “i- uh i have nothing to say. you’re so smart and pretty. everyone clap for yoongi!” the members and staff all cheered and clapped, causing a flutter of butterflies to pick up in his stomach. he really did love you.
“okay, one more! this is for both taehyung and jimin, it’s a really adorable one. iheartvmin says why do taehyung and jimin always spank each other? is it muscle memory or what?? i’m sure many viewers, myself included, are wondering the same thing, is it a friend thing or perhaps something more?”
you were indeed dead.
jimins faux smile failed to reach his eyes, glazed with pure malice. taehyung laughed but you didn’t miss the short scoff that he released.
taehyung cleared his throat, “jimin-ah is a very close friend of mine so we are naturally touchy with each other. i'm sure you get personal with your friends too y/n-ah.”
“yes very true tae! unfortunately.. that’s all we have for today. this has been y/n with bts!” the members yelled and waved bye until a straight CUT was heard from the camera director.
only then did their smiles fall and heads snapped towards you. hoseok still had a soft grin, grateful for you sparing him of those horrendous questions.
“well… heyy guys! how we doinggg?” you shyly waved, hoping to soften the glares stabbing through you.
“y/n.” jungkook growled.
“yep?”
“run.”
© 2022 all rights reserved.
#bts x black reader#bts x yn#bts x reader#min yoongi x reader#hoseok fluff#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts drabble#namjoon x reader#jimin fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x reader#kim seokjin x reader#seokjin imagine#bts one shot
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she said no! ﹡ ksj x you
Ⓒ bluenpjm — all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own.
synopsis. the last 9 years with Seokjin have been nothing but a rollercoaster full of happiness and love and you can’t help but wonder how much your life will change on your anniversary.
genre. slice of life au ◦ angst
pairing. KSJ x YN
wordcount. 1000
warnings. relationships can be complicated, i suppose
Tonight was a big night. And although it wasn’t your style at all, you had taken forever to get ready. Taking one last glance in the mirror, you could see yourself glowing in the silky red dress you had bought specially for the occasion. The vibrant colors hugged your curves with grace and you smiled sheepishly at your reflection, Seokjin popping right into your head.
The smooth fabric cascaded down to your knees, accentuating your every movement and your wavy hair had been styled in loose waves that added a touch of effortless allure to your appearance. The golden earring that had been a cherished gift from Jin on your first Valentine’s Day dangled delicately from your ears.
Your phone rang, signaling that he had arrived and, swiftly grabbing your purse, you excitedly exited your apartment. You slammed the door confidently, knowing that you’d have to deal with the mess your bathroom had been left with only tomorrow morning.
“Wow,” Seokjin leans forward in his seat, kissing your cheek gently. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” You couldn’t wipe the smile plastered on your face, so big that it made your cheeks hurt.
The restaurant exuded an air of elegance and sophistication, its lavish decor and tasteful ambiance setting the stage for a memorable evening. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting a soft, warm glow upon the finely polished tables adorned with fresh flowers. The walls, replenished with framed artwork, added a touch of refinement to your surroundings.
You sat by the window, your table offering a breathtaking view of the city outside. As the evening sky darkened, the streetlights below came to life, their golden hues dancing in harmony with the stars above. The cityscape twinkled with life, creating a magical backdrop for your 9th-anniversary celebration.
The soft music playing in the background and the gentle hum of conversation added to the enchanting ambiance, creating an intimate space for couples to bask in the warmth of their love. Looking around you, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was the night Seokjin was finally going to propose.
With each course, you lavished upon your favorite dishes, greatly accompanied by laughter and shared memories of all your years together. Of course, so did your hopes grow, the expectations soaring to unimaginable heights. But as the desserts rolled in, you felt your heart withered, as Jin made no move to reach for a ring or drop to one knee, a wave of disappointment washing over you.
Silent tears welled up in your eyes, barely concealed behind a strained smile. It had been something that had popped into your head constantly, the beginning of your forever, especially now that you both found yourselves in such good places in your life.
Sensing your sadness, Jin’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes searching for answers. “What’s wrong, YN? You seem upset,” He probed gently, his voice laced with concern.
Trying to fight back the tears, you struggle to show him a strong smile to conceal your lie “Nothing,” You clear your throat, “I’m just feeling tired.”
Jin’s voice softened as he reached for your hand across the table, “Are you sure?”
You sigh as one tear rolls down your face and your eyes met his worried ones, “I… I just thought tonight would be the night, you know?” He tilts his head, confused. “The night you’d ask me to marry you.”
He’s somewhat taken about by your statement, the retreatment of his hand making your heartache. “I thought we were happy just the way we are.”
“And we are, but—” Your voice trembles as you retorted.
An uncomfortable silence hangs in the air, the weight of your differing viewpoints heavy on your hearts. Over all these years, you had discussed spending your life together, moving in, getting a dog over a cat or even kids, but you were never specific on marriage, assuming you had been on the same page; that one thing involved the other.
Jin leaned back, his eyes searching for your face again, “YN, I love you more than words can express. And I want to be with you, to live the rest of my life with you by my side, but we don’t need a piece of paper to validate our love, or even to make it real… right?”
At the lack of response from you, his voice softens, reaching for your hand across the table, “We can still have a beautiful future together, YN.”
With a heavy sigh, you struggle to find the words, finding yourself in inner turmoil. He was right, of course; you had been happy for all these years, but marriage had been something you anticipated, something to bring your relationship to the next; to prove your love was real and strong.
“I just need some time,”
With an apologetic look in your eyes, you get up from the table, leaving a speechless Seokjin and an untouched desert behind. You ignore his voice as he calls your name from the table and, as you enter the taxi, your heartache and disappointment become too heavy to bear. The passing city lights become blurred as you travel home, your emotions threatening to consume you.
Seokjin is left speechless, cheeks flustered as he keeps on replaying your escape in his mind. He’s quick to ask the waiter for the check, finding comfort in the emptiness of his car where the prying eyes of the nearby tables could no longer find him.
He drives home, and similar to the mess you’ve left your bathroom in, he finds his living room—rose petals on the floor as they lead to the center table, where laid his surprise—a key to his home beautifully wrapped as he had been preparing to ask you to come to live with him.
He laughs drily at the situation, heartbreak tugging into his heart as he can’t shake the feeling of how disappointed you’d be once you opened the little box and saw a key, instead of a ring inside.
#jin angst#jin fluff#jin smut#jing scenarios#jin au#slice of life au#break up au#kim seokjin#jin#seokjin#drabble#bts au#bts scenarios#jin x you#jin x reader#jin x yn#bluenpjm#bluenpjm.docx
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Anomalous Fate - New Home
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Warnings: swearing, mentions of kidnapping, BTS being clueless, reader is overwhelmed and confused.
Author's Note: Finally got the sudden motivation to write this chapter, I had to start from the very beginning because when I wrote about half way through, I closed my laptop and it died while I was at work, and I hadn't saved it so it was completely gone. I do want to say thank you all for your patience, I hope to have another chapter up soon again, but don't be surprised if it doesn't come as quickly. Hope you enjoy it!!
“This is it?” Jungkook asks as he’s looking up at the front of y/n’s apartment building.
“I think so, she stays on the 5th floor,” Jin answers and looks inside, seeing a security guard at the desk, assuring himself that they’ll be fine, he doesn’t pay attention to the rustling behind him, “getting past the front desk shouldn’t be too hard, we just have to act normal.” Jin states and starts toward the door, “Let’s go.”
He enters the building and shoots a friendly smile to the security man, standing in front of the elevator and waiting for it to open, “Okay, so I’ll grab her clothes and bathroom things, you two can-” Jin stops as he double takes his surroundings, “-where are these idiots?”
He’s frantic as he looks around the lobby, trying not to alert the security, he lets out an exasperated sigh and decides to just go up alone, “I should’ve just brought Namjoon and Hoba.”
___________________________________________________________
As soon as Jin is in the apartment, he quickly notices the huge pile of shoes beside the door and four separate rooms, “She has roommates? Great, how are we going to explain this one?”
Jin shakes his head and quickly gets to work, checking all the rooms before finally finding y/n’s, going inside, and grabbing the suitcases he finds in her closet, stuffing whatever clothes he can find, wanting to get out as fast as he can as they still have a flight to catch in about 20 minutes now.
He jumps when he hears a bump from the living room and the panic sets in, thinking he’s caught red handed.
He’s debating all his options of escaping when he hears two hushed voices coming from the living room,
“Is Jin hyung here yet?”
“I don’t know, he wasn’t following us.”
He listens to the two boys and rolls his eyes, walking out of the room and jumping when Jungkook and Taehyung shriek in surprise, “Shhhhh!” he scolds them, motioning them with his hands
“Holy shit hyung, you scared us.” Jungkook holds his chest and Taehyung nods in agreement
“Why did you go through the window when we have her keys for a reason??” Jin questions, second guessing his decision on bringing the two youngest members with him.
“Because we’re breaking and entering…?” Jungkook whispers, Jin shakes his head, “It’s not breaking and entering if we have the key! If anyone asks, just say we’re getting clothes for our cousin who is in the hospital with a broken collarbone.” He explains.
“ummmm, pretty sure it’s still breaking and entering.” Jungkook counters and Taehyung pipes up, “Plus, it’s way cooler to say breaking and entering.”
“Oh nevermind! Just help me get her clothes packed.” Jin leads the way into her bedroom and grabs the suitcases from her closet, opening one up and taking it into her bathroom.
As the two maknaes are folding her clothes, Jin is looking around the place for little things he thinks she might need. He stumbles upon her nightstand and opens the drawers, fidgeting around until he spots a necklace.
As he inspects it, he feels a drop in his stomach and a pull in his chest before quickly shoving it in her suitcase and zipping it up.
“You guys get everything?” He questions and the other two nod, “I think so.”
“Alright, c’mon, we have a flight to catch.”
They all make their way out, closing her bedroom door and all the lights and just as Jin is putting his shoes back on, he speaks loudly, “Not that way…”
He smirks as he hears them huff and make their way back over to the door, “You’re no fun hyung…”
____________________________________________________________
“Okay so, how are we getting her on the jet?” Namjoon asks, turning toward everyone
“Jungkook will carry her,” Taehyung shrugs, nodding to the youngest member
Jungkook sputters, flabbergasted, “Why me?”
“Because this is your doing!” Tae retaliates,
“Yeah, you’re the reason she’s passed out” Jimin pipes in,
“Oh, so now I’m the bad guy, last I checked she was alllll our soulmate”
“Well, until she wakes up, she’s just yours”
“That’s not fair!”
“Life isn’t fair,” Jimin sticks his tongue out,
“Okayyyyy, enough,” Joon groans, “I’ll carry her.”
Yoongi rubs at his eyes, checking the time and seeing they have 20 minutes to get to the airport, “Let’s get going, I’m tired and I need to sleep.”
“He’s right, we don’t have much time, c’mon.” Hobi quickly agrees with Yoongi’s words and soon, all the boys and the sleeping y/n are making their way down to their car.
______________________________________________________________
After a 14-hour flight, the boys arrived in Seoul, and after much deliberation on the ride home, ensured that the staff would exit the plane last so they could get y/n to a secure exit without looking too suspicious.
As the boys went to the main exit, followed by dispatch and a couple fans, their makeup artists and stylists took the emergency exit that was right beside the corridor, hopping into a van with the girl, and driving straight to the dorms.
Once they arrived, they took y/n into one of the rooms there, laying her on the bed and quickly making their exit, but not before sliding the keys under the door.
The 5 women began speaking in their native tongue while waiting for the elevator,
“I’ve gotten a lot of weird requests from these boys, but that has got to be the worst by far.”
“No kidding, would’ve been easier if they just moved to the states.”
All 5 huffed a laugh and made their way back to the HYBE building.
______________________________________________________________
“If she’s still passed out by the time we’re home Jungkook, I’m charging you myself” Jin speaks, looking pointedly at his member
“She’ll be fine hyung, you worry too much.” Jungkook shakes his head, “She’ll be fine.
______________________________________________________________
Y/N opens her eyes, groaning in pain. She rubs at her head, feeling the worst headache ever, but when she’s acquainted to the sunlight from the window, she panics when she doesn’t recognize the ceiling.
She sits up abruptly, wincing at the headache, and immediately stands up, wobbling around the room, the effects from whatever was on that cloth obviously not worn completely off
“Where the fuck am i?’ she thinks to herself, looking around the room and seeing a couple shirts on the floor and some boxers, her eyes widen when she thinks of the worst, glancing down and seeing her clothes from the night at work
“How long has it been?”
Her head snaps up when she hears keys jingle at the door, gasping and grabbing the closest thing to her that she can use to defend herself with, which happens to be a weight, about 20 pounds, but it’ll do.
She slowly walks out and down the hallway, and just as the door swings open, she immediately winds her arm back, planning on throwing it toward whoever kidnapped her but freezes when she’s met with seven pairs of very familiar eyes,
“What the fuck?!”
______________________________________________________________
All seven boys are seated nervously on the couches in the living room, staring at the girl in the middle of the floor, waiting for her to speak.
“So, you were the ones in the Uber?”
They nod.
“And you broke into my apartment?”
They nod.
“And you brought me to Korea?”
They nod.
“Because I’m your soulmate?”
They nod.
“You kidnapped me because I’m your soulmate?”
They nod.
“Me?”
“Yes, please keep up with us.” Jimin quips,
y/n raises her eyebrow, “Well excuse me for finding this situation a bit-”
Taehyung interrupts her, “Cute? Adorable? Brave? Meant to be?”
“CRAZY…” y/n makes sure to pronounce the word efficiently, “I mean, you do realize people are going to be looking for me right?”
“My coworkers, my roommates, my parents, my classmates, hell, my university will be looking for me.” She tries to reason but all she gets are shakings of each head
“Actually, we called your job, told them you would be moving and unable to work, since you were there for less than six months, legally you don’t have to put a two week’s notice in.”
“And, regarding your university, we’re actually putting you into the exchange program they offer, it’s still in the works but basically, a student will be swapping with you for the same degree you are completing, that way you can attend classes here.”
“Your roommates know you’re on your way here, we basically texted them that you didn’t actually go to work but you were meeting with your advisor about the exchange program, and they suggested coming to Seoul to meet with the student you would be swapping with. When they asked why it was so sudden, we just said you wanted it to be kept secret.”
“That actually worked?” y/n questioned and Namjoon tilts his head, “That one was tricky and took a lot more explaining but once we sent a picture of you ‘awake’ on the plane, it worked.”
“So, you really planned everything huh?”
All boys nod, “We had a lot of time on the plane to think about it.”
y/n’s eyes well up with tears, the information sinking in, “I’m never leaving this place am i?”
Jimin quickly tries to calm her down, “No, no, no, no, not ever, just until you get comfortable with this whole situation.”
Hoseok pipes in, “Of course you can go outside and have your phone and laptop, just…” he looks to his members for some help.
Yoongi tries this time, “Just until we’re sure you won’t go to the police, or your friends and family to tell them the truth, I mean, we have a reputation to uphold.”
“And because of that, we have a few rules set in place…” He continues hesitantly.
They hand her a piece of paper with a short list, but she doesn’t pay it any mind,
“We’ll discuss it over dinner, it should be here shortly.”
Namjoon nods, “We’re sorry if this isn’t exactly how you’ve wanted your soulmate story to go, but if you belong to all of us, then there’s no choice.”
“I don’t belong to you guys…” y/n points, “as of right now, I might be your soulmate, but you guys aren’t mine.”
Unaware of how much her words hurt the seven boys’ hearts, they understand and hope she’ll come around eventually.
______________________________________________________
Taglist:
@bbl32
@ireadthensuetheauthors
#bts fantasy au#bts aus#bts x reader#bts imagines#ot7 x reader#ot7 x yn#bts ot7#kim namjoon x reader#kim seokjin x reader#min yoongi x reader#jung hoseok x reader#park jimin x reader#kim taehyung x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#namjoon x reader#jin x reader#yoongi x reader#jhope x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#jk x reader
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THE CONSIGLIERE: Chapter VII
Pairing: Mafia!BTS x Reader
Summary:
So this was how your life was going to turn out now? You’d never gotten to be the center of attention, but now, here you were. Trapped inside a house full of people who all looked at you as an object – property, property, property. It was disgusting. It made you sick.
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
“What?” You were taken aback by the question.
You blinked at him, unsure of what to say; there was so much you wanted to tell him but your mouth wouldn't form words.
He chuckled as he continued. “I asked you what’s your story?” Still holding your chin in his hand, he turned your head towards him and looked into your eyes intently. He didn't look like he believed that you'd be able to answer his question.
You were furious that this man had the audacity to ask something like that! Your jaw clenched tightly as you tried to hold back tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. How dare he! The nerve of him! After everything you'd been through – how could someone like him even ask such a thing?!
You closed your eyes for a few moments before opening them again and looking up at him. You couldn't believe that he was still standing here, staring at you like he thought you were going to answer the question. That wasn't your intention at all. Why the hell would you ever willingly tell him about yourself? It was too painful to think about! But, now that it was out there, you couldn't take it back. So, you figured, why not just get it over with?
With an annoyed sigh, you finally answered his question. “My story is rather simple actually. In case you weren’t informed, I have been threatened, kidnapped, and betrayed by the very person I thought I could trust.” You paused for a moment, letting those three facts sink in.
Once they did, it seemed as though you’d broken some sort of barrier between the two of you. The tension left you, and you took a small step back as you looked down at the ground. You were afraid that you'd just made things worse.
A sudden burst of laughter escaped him and you snapped your attention up to see what was so amusing. He was doubled over, trying desperately to stop himself from laughing. You felt your face flush with embarrassment; it hadn’t been funny at all, in fact, it had only served to make matters worse.
When he realized he was no longer able to contain himself any longer, he straightened himself up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed... I'm really sorry. It's just... that expression on your face when you said that, it's priceless!"
He began to laugh again and you stared blankly at him, unsure of exactly what was happening. What the fuck?! Did you seriously just have a conversation with this bastard? Were you losing your goddamn mind? Was this some kind of weird fever dream? Did you somehow wake up from some kind of nightmare?
As if reading your thoughts, he gave you one last grin before turning around and walking out the door, “come, let me give you a tour since you’ll be living here from now on.” He waved a dismissive hand behind him. He called over his shoulder. “Don’t keep me waiting!”
You shook your head and slowly walked through the door after him. This guy… this fucking weirdo!
“So, where should we begin?” He questioned, gesturing around him in mock contemplation as he walked backwards, away from you.
You watched silently, unable to find the strength in you to reply, but that didn’t stopped him from touring the entire mansion. His voice echoed through your ears, and you wondered if this was some kind of bizarre hallucination brought about by sleep deprivation.
You knew he was distracted, and so you did what a sane person would do; you ran the opposite direction from him. As you rounded the corner of the hallway, you almost ran into another body, forcing you to jerk forward, barely missing collision.
Your eyes flickered to the figure who had bumped into you, then shot back up to his face.
Kim Seokjin.
He was dressed in a loose black shirt tucked in neatly, and his slacks hugged his legs in perfect fashion as he stood there, hands clasped behind his back. He raised an eyebrow at you and tilted his head to the side slightly.
You felt your cheeks heat up under his scrutiny, but you kept your silence. Not that that was really an option considering the way your heart seemed to pound in your chest.
After several long seconds, Seokjin spoke. “Are you okay, pet? Jimin not taking care of you? Kind of irresponsible of him letting you run around the halls.” He smirked at you. You glared daggers into his smug features and he sighed theatrically. “Fine. You don’t need to respond. I understand that you aren’t happy with being here. You must want nothing more than to be far away from this place as soon as possible.” He stepped closer to you. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun while you’re here. Right?”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “What are you talking about?” You snapped.
“Oh, good! You found her.” A voice suddenly filled the hallway. “She’s a flighty thing.”
You spun around to see Jimin striding towards you.
Jimin grinned widely at you as he came to a halt beside you. He clapped his hands together before grabbing your elbow and guiding you off the hall.
Seokjin followed closely behind him. “Now, behave or we’re giving you to Taehyung.”
You glanced over at the man trailing behind the pair of you. He was standing close enough for you to hear his every word.
He caught your gaze and sent you a smirk. You glared at him and he chuckled. You noticed that your fingers instinctively curled into fists as you fought back the urge to punch him.
So this was how your life was going to turn out now? You’d never gotten to be the center of attention, but now, here you were. Trapped inside a house full of people who all looked at you as an object – property, property, property. It was disgusting. It made you sick.
You wanted nothing more than to leave this place. You couldn’t live like this. There had to be some kind of escape plan that you could come up with.
There just had to be.
~~~
“I heard you tried to escape.” Ji Hye commented nonchalantly as she took a bite out of the fruit in her hand. She chewed slowly and swallowed before continuing. “I told you to behave.”
You rolled your eyes. Of course you tried to escape. Who wouldn't? You didn't know any better! What else was there to do in this situation? Besides running, which you already knew from experience wasn't a good idea.
It took a second before you decided to speak. “What am I supposed to do, anyway? Just sit here and play nice like a damn dog? If anything, I should be escaping right now.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “No, I’ve thought of a better job for you.” Her expression remained cold as she continued on without pausing. “You’re coming with us at the club tonight.”
You scrunched up your nose at her statement. “Excuse me?”
She nodded her head. “We’re having our weekly meeting with some client, and you'll be joining.”
You opened your mouth in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?! Why me?”
Her lips quirked upward slightly as she smiled at you. “Because you seem to be quite the troublemaker.”
Chapter I
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
#bts#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#reader#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#ot7 x reader#ot7 x yn#ot7 x you#mafia au
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Helsinki Chapter 8: The monologue of sorts.
Helsinki syndrome is a term sometimes used incorrectly in place of Stockholm syndrome. It’s use in literature is often ironic and deliberate and literally means when a captive refuses to cooperate with their captor.
Summary: A war of wits does have some rules too. But if one party refuses to acknowledge the sacred rule of leaving family out of it, the other must retaliate stronger to quell any such advances for the future… Or at least that’s what Min Yoongi told himself when he abducted Kim Namjoon’s younger sister. That was before he realized that this elaborate game of chess didn’t have just two players and before he had promised Namjoon he’d keep her safe, But also before he realized that one month was enough to leave his whole life in chaos.
Genre: MAFIA AU, slight yandere themes, smut, a happy sprinkling of fluff/comfort, and a truckload of ANGST.
WARNINGS: Trigger warning: Depiction of PTSD and anxiety attacks, guns. Min Yoongi APOLOGIZING????
Pairing: Main pairing: Mafia!MIN YOONGI X READER
Others include: Collegeboyfriend!Hosoek x reader + Mafia!Taehyung x reader + Kidnapper!Seokjin x reader.
Word count: 2.3k words
Previous II Ch 8 II next
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Feedback is always appreciated. Leave a comment, or let's talk in reblogs!
Taglist: @rosquilleta @parkdatjimin @gaeguuliii @bebejungkook @minniesvenus @themochiverse @darkafterhours13 @sugasbultornebae17 @silentkei @definetlythinkimanalien @zae007live
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I never took you for the pink frills kind of girl.” Taehyung observed, eyeing the pile of soft, pink garments you had slung over your arm.
“Wait, my wardrobe choices aren’t exclusively pink!” you defended yourself.
“Mhm? Doesn’t look like it.”
You turned, storming back to the racks, to put some of the pink stuff back and contemplated what new colour tickled your fancy, a little miffed at how Taehyung was getting so involved.
.
“Ooh, definitely this one is better.” Taehyung, who was now leisurely manspreading on one of the waiting couches, announced as you stepped out in a lilac mid length dress. You had liked this one as soon as you had laid eyes on it, but now that Taehyung had announced his stamp of approval, you looked down and wondered if it was worth the money.
.
Five stores and nine shopping bags later, you looked up at Taehyung, who was walking into another store, convincing you that you still needed another good pair of spare jeans. “I’m too well stocked now Taehyung. We’ve done enough.” you argued.
“Nope.” was his simple answer.
You rolled your eyes. He had another thing coming for him if he thought he could boss you around. And yet here you were, following him around like a lost puppy. Oh hell no, the only reason you were following him around, was because he was carrying all the bags. All the clothes you had spent hours picking out. Yup, that was definitely the reason you were being silent, and were nodding along as he handed you three pairs of jeans to go try on.
“Ok and then we’re done!” you urged.
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll have lunch then.” he said.
Lunch? That wasn’t on the agenda presented to Yoongi this morning. He had urged both of you to come back as soon as you were done shopping. “But… weren’t we supposed to…”
“Y/n, the quicker you learn that hyung says 700 things that he over exaggerates, every day, the better you’ll live.” Taehyung shot over his shoulder as he walked away, leaving you to ponder his words, and make your own way to the changing room.
“Hyung says 700 things he exaggerates every day…” Taehyung’s words sounded in your ears as you shut the door behind you, mind wandering to last night, to how distressed Namjoon had sounded and how collected and cold Yoongi had been. What confused you was what part of Yoongi’s whole dialogue was the bluff? Because it could have easily have been the part where he said he’d get his shipments through even if Namjoon tried to stop him, but it could just as easily be the part where he promised Namjoon that you’d be safe. And that was messing up your brain. Would you be safe? Suddenly Taehyung, who was no doubt waiting outside, seemed like the intimidating stranger he had, when you had run into him in the kitchen that first night, and not the guy you had slowly started liking.
Then when you turned around to face the mirror, to see how the jeans fit you, you caught your own eyes in the reflection and suddenly, the only thing you could see was feline-like, dark, cold eyes boring into yours. You gasped, stumbling backwards to brace yourself against the wall and steady your train of thought. But the terrifying scent of his musky cologne seemed to wash over your senses and then came the primal fear. Suddenly, the small space seemed infinitesimally smaller, and your breathing came in ragged gasps. The sickening coldness of his gun pressed against your abdomen, and his unbothered tone ordering you to send your brother away, all came back in one fatal wave.
Min Yoongi seemed to be right here with you, and your body had frozen and simultaneously gone into fight or flight. Blood thundered in your ears and your heart seemed like it wanted to burst right out of your chest. Trembling hands fumbled for the door knob and you almost fell out.
“Taehyung!” you gasped.
Taehyung, who had been expecting an appearance by now, but definitely not one as panicked as this one, was on his feet immediately, his hand tantalizingly close to the holster he kept hidden under his coat.
“Y/n! Who is it? What’s wrong?” his arms found their way around your frame, as you stood, stock still, trembling like a leaf.
Taehyung pushed you back against the wall, and turned around, his hand resting on the cold comfort of his gun, eyes scanning the store. But when he turned towards you, eyes filled with concern, your eyes followed his hands, and you visibly blanched further, jerking your head up to meet his eyes, an almost manic panic in yours. “Put that gun away!” you hissed, and then the tears came, and you started sobbing, “I- I don’t w-wanna see another g-gun for my whole l-life, j-just put it away, put it away T-Taehyung please!” you hiccuped and cried, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Hey! Hey! It’s gone. It’s gone, look. Please don’t cry y/n… Oh God…” he said softly, kneeling to your level, reaching for your hands. You let him take your hands in his, tears cascading down your cheeks, but breath coming a little easier.
“What was that about?” his voice wasn’t demanding, in fact he sounded oh so kind.
You lowered your head, eyes trained on your trembling hands that he still held.
“Can we just go?” you said meekly, not meeting his eyes.
“We can go, but can you please tell me if it was a person that scared you?” it sounded like he’d put a lot of thought into what words to say.
You bit your lip, finally looking up at him. “Um… no. It was something else. I don’t wanna talk about it…”
Taehyung nodded kindly. “You can talk about it in your own time. I'll pay and we can leave.”
You sat on the couch, tapping your feet against the clean floors, waiting for Taehyung to be done, with arms folded across your chest. You were trying to convince yourself that it was okay. But it was hard to do that when you knew that Min Yoongi would be waiting at home. One of the sales representatives approached you and cleared his throat, “Ma’am, I was instructed to bring you this juice.”
Confused, you frowned at him until he tilted his head towards Taehyung, who was handing over his card at the counter. Relaxing, you took the drink and took a long, refreshing sip.
A smiling Taehyung meets her a few moments later, “Ready to leave?” he said cheerfully.
“Yeah,” you tried a weak smile. You rose, bracing yourself as the blood rushed to your legs and you saw stars temporarily. Before Taehyung could register what had happened, you had already latched onto his arm to steady yourself. His injured arm. A pained groan left Taehyung as he held onto you with his uninjured arm, and pulled you away gently, your eyes wide with realization and apologies.
In that moment, as both of you looked into each other’s eyes, you realized that neither of you were responsible for what had happened to the other. That both of you had been dragged, against your wills, into the world of constant threats and danger that your brothers lived in. He released your arm gingerly. “I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” you said. He shook his head, and gave you a tight lipped smile before leading the way out, silent and scary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Fen’s culinary skills shone through in everything she made. Today, it was Chinese soup dumplings and lo mien noodles and Taehyung, who was fine again by now, was busy scarfing the food down like his life depended on it.
Yoongi, on the other hand, ate slowly, his eyes drifting over to yours ever so frequently. And every time they would, you’d get a scare. After the fourth time that you physically had to hold yourself firm to prevent flinching away from his gaze, you decided you had had enough.
“I’ll have my food in the kitchen.” you said as you made your way out.
You heard hushed whispers seconds after you left, Taehyung’s deeper voice a bit more audible than Yoongi’s lower one. You rolled your eyes and sat on the breakfast bar where Mrs. Fen sat, eating her own food, looking for some escape and the house keeper’s welcome company.
.
You were hanging up your new clothes in your room, when you heard the signature double soft knock of the housekeeper again.
“Yeah?” you called.
“Mr. Min would like to see you.” she informed.
Your heart dropped. Why did he wanna see you? Today, of all days. You sighed. “Do I have to go?”
“I would suggest you do.” you heard the fond smile in Mrs. Fen’s voice.
Entering the study that you had never visited before, you were met with Yoongi’s back as he stood looking out into the garden. You cleared your throat to announce your presence, though you were sure he must have already heard you come in.
“You’re usually outside after lunch, I was wondering where you were.” he said, his back still turned. That was why he had called you?
“Um, yeah. I was going to go out in a little while. I was just putting away some things.”
“Did you have a good time with Taehyung?” the question was unexpectedly cold.
And the gaze that he beheld you with as he finally turned around to face you, was colder still. You shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. “I guess…”
“Have a seat, please.” Yoongi motioned to the chairs placed in front of his giant desk, that was unorganized but neat, still. You took a seat at the very edge, spine tingling uneasily.
“Y/n,” Yoongi sat behind the desk, “You should know that you can get privileges to go out like you did today, if you prove that I can trust you.”
“I don’t have to prove shit to you.” the words were out of your mouth before you could weigh them, and Yoongi bit back a smile. As he saw you realize what you had just said, he couldn’t help but say, “There’s the snarky little brat I knew, I was wondering when you’d burst out of that prim and proper exterior you seem to have adorned.”
“My exterior might very well be my armour, Min. I won’t let you have the luxury of me being myself around you.” It was after all, the one thing that you had jurisdiction over.
Yoongi tilted his head, regarding you with keen eyes, before they softened. He nodded, he could respect that much. “Taehyung told me that something happened today.”
Your blood ran cold. Somehow, you felt betrayed. How could Taehyung go around exposing you to his brother like that? Your most vulnerable moments, at that. Sickening.
Before you could respond appropriately, Yoongi was already in front of you. And instead of whatever wild thing you were expecting, he kneeled down on his knees on the soft rug below your feet.
Wait, he kneeled?
You were reeling at what your eyes were showing you, and still he wasn’t done. “Y/n, I know you’ve been miserable all this time. And though there’s not much I can promise to remedy your sadness, I can assure you, in whatever way that I do know, that I’ll try my best not to make you any more uncomfortable or miserable than you already are.”
Were you supposed to give him a medal for that? Was that supposed to be a heart touching monologue of sorts?
“I’m not just miserable, Min.” your voice was firm, “I’m fucking scared.” The chilling flashback of his cold eyes and the flash of his gun replayed in your mind as you felt a little tremble go through you. “I’m scared that any moment, you’ll lose your mind, and then I’ll be in close quarters to a murdering, psychopath who my brother has spent his entire career trying to tame.”
Yoongi’s usually docile eyes were wide.
“I wouldn’t…” he began.
“Yeah, that’s what you said out in the garden and the same night you pulled a gun on me. Excuse me for not believing you.” you snapped.
Yoongi blinked in confusion. Normally, none of the people he’d aimed guns at, had lived long enough to tell him about the terror the device instilled in them. That was probably why he was finding it so hard to wrap his mind around the very obvious adverse effects it had had on you. But clearly it was, so he had to do something about it.
“I’m sorry.”
Well, those were words you never thought you’d hear from that mouth.
“What?”
“I’m sorry. Genuinely. I promise I’ll try to keep the guns action at bay when I’m home. I… wasn’t aware of how horrible it must feel to be on the receiving end. I’m sorry.” he repeated.
The simple apology should not have wreaked havoc on you like it did. It should not have made you willing to immediately let him have another chance, and it most definitely should not have melted your heart and warmed you up to the idea that maybe he could actually be a half decent person.
“I appreciate the apology, Min.”
“That’s more than what I can ask of you. Thank you for listening to me.” Did he actually sound regretful right now? Would wonders never cease.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namjoon scrolled through the folder of pictures he had on his laptop. He stopped at pictures from one specific day, with a strong ache in his chest. It was the day you had planted hydrangea bushes in the backyard. He stared at the picture of you holding a hose, spraying the newly planted bushes with water as your father was digging another hole in the background, a fond smile on his face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: The next chapter is my ABSOLUTE favorite and was a delight to write. I hope you stick around for that. As always, tons of hugs to all of you that leave kind words and interactions and motivate me to keep at this! (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
#min yoongi imagine#min yoongi fluff#min yoongi fic#min yoongi smut#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x reader#mafia taehyung#mafia yoongi#mafia au#mafia bts#kim taehyung#bts kim taehyung#kim seokjin#kim namjoon#jung hosoek#bts x yn#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#fic:helsinki
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Coming Soon...
Fuckboy!Namjoon x Demi!Chubby!Tall Girl!Reader
FIC PUBLISHED HERE!
Summary: The second semester of your sophomore year in college has started and there are only two people in your creative writing class that have published works: You, and Kim Namjoon; a pretentious know-it-all that just so happens to be in the same frat as your best friend.
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, College! au, eventual smut
Chubby reader fics are few and far in between, and I feel like it's even harder to find tall girl fic, and I personally have never been able to find a fic where the reader was Demisexual*, so I thought I'd throw it all together into one badass MC for you guys! I also feel like a lot of chubby reader fics are mostly just them getting bullied, which is a harsh reality, but for this fic, MC's weight is not something she often gets looked down upon for. Someone might bring it up once or twice, but in general, people that have a problem with her size just don't talk to her lol. I still don't know if this is going to be a oneshot or a mini series, but if it is a oneshot she's going to be a LOOONG one.
Lmk if you want to be tagged :))
*Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they've developed a close emotional bond with them. Forming a bond doesn't guarantee a person will feel a sexual attraction, but the bond is needed before sexual activity is even possible.
#RM#rm x reader#rm x chubby reader#Namjoon#Kim namjoon#Namjoon x reader#namjoon x chubby reader#bts x chubby reader#bts x reader#bts x yn#namjoon x y/n#jimin#taehyung#yoongi#seokjin#jhope#hoseok#jungkook#namjoon#namjoon x you#bts#Kpop fic#Kpop fanfic#bts fic announcement#fic announcement#Namjoon fluff#Namjoon smut#Namjoon angst#bts fluff#bts smut
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🚨ATTENTION HONEYBUNCHES 🍯🚨
A lot of you are new here and have been reading Bedeviled (thank you btw, babies!) So if you are confused, don't worry, I'm just talking about a fic I finished recently before Bedeviled. If you are interested in reading Aim For The Heart, you can find it in the BTS masterlist under Jungkook or click HERE 🧡🧡
To everyone that read AFTH and were wanting some drabbles: I am tagging the AFTH tag list just so you are aware of what’s going on!!!
I've decided to post AFTH drabbles in the middle of the week, whether or not a Bedeviled chapter is posted. It can either be an extra present to read or something to tide you over until Bedeviled is ready!
If you would like to remain on the tag list for the drabbles, pls let me know, if you don't say anything I'm gonna leave you on there just in case! Also kindly let me know if you would like to be added or removed from AFTH drabble updates 💞
-chip
CURRENT AFTH TAGLIST UNDER THE CUT 🤍
Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @scuzmunkie @jaebeomsblackgf @sugaslittlekookies @moon-asia @bangtannie7 @yoonchrisgull @njkbangtan @dlwrlmajaykay @higashikatasgf @sweetonkookieandtae @voidswan-recs @sadxaries @shadowmoon21 @jinfused @taehyungiev13 @gaeguuliii @kimnamjoonluvbot @jungkooook @mutterseelenalleinn @surilirani @patpus @yukiehyukie @crypticsabbat @ohyeahjk @steffiiirose @the-falling-star @telepathytae @erenkook-blog @rosiekoo @neverthefirstchoice @bubbless-world @yeow6n @purpleunicorn051 @canarystwin @sopikooo
#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts#bts fluff#jungkook smut#bts smut#bts angst#jungkook drabbles#hitman!jungkook#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#jungkook x yn#bts x yn#kim taehyung#park jimin#kim seokjin#kim namjoon#min yoongi#jung hoseok
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7. Pearl
(n) things that are known or proved to be true
♠♥♣♦
trigger warnings: bad relationship with parents, mention of hospital and lung disease, mention of a fight, tell me if you see more
word count: 2654
a.n.: the chapter is not proof read, and there might be some elements lost in translation from my dyslexic French brain to English. Don't hesitate if you noticed mistakes so I could correct them :]
Enjoy!
♠♥♣♦
previous - m.list - next
♠♥♣♦
Hello Pearl, how are you doing lately?
We will have the Jeon over for lunch this Sunday. Why won't you come back home for the weekend?
We love and miss you deeply,
Your Mom and Dad.
You were looking at this text once again now that you were laying in your old bedroom bed. It has been a while since the last time you happened to be here, but you felt nothing. Nothing hold you back in this household, it wasn’t your home anymore.
Living with your aunt for the last years was the best thing that could happen to you. She was caring, loving, and all the things a child needs to find in a parent. If it wasn’t for the Jeon, you wouldn’t be near this house for another five years.
“Why won’t you come back home for the weekend?”
You glanced at your bag on the side of the desk. Almost empty, nothing aside from a notebook, some pens, your inhaler, and a bunch of medications. Staying wasn’t in your plans, all you were ready to do was to pretend everything between your parents and you were fine in front of the Jeon, and then go back to your dorm to complain about your day to your roommate.
You got out of the bed to sit lazily in the old desk chair, already hoping to be out of this place. Gosh, at least you wished you didn’t come for nothing. The Jeon were friends of the family, old college mates, neighbors for a long time, people you grew up with. Being only one year apart their oldest son, you were always close with the two mini Jeon, unfortunately, this endearing link you had with them disappeared when you moved away.
These thoughts made you wonder if you would see them today. You knew Jungkook was still around as you saw him a few times on the campus, but you had no idea where Junghyun was. You didn’t have a phone when you left, and you were two scared to bother your aunt if you asked her to have the Jeon’s contact, and since you didn’t talk to your parents in a long time, Junghyun situation was a complete mystery to you.
But a question hit you: would he still be your best friend if you didn’t leave everyone to live with your aunt?
You turned on your chair to face the window from where you could see his bedroom, a nostalgic wave hitting you right away. Fuck, it shouldn’t hurt so much. If only you had a phone back then, you would still be in touch to that day.
♠♥♣♦
A soft knock on your door interrupted your train of thought and you came back to reality. You though it would’ve been your mother but hearing your long-lost neighbor behind the door adding a little “knock knock” made you smile. You didn’t realize the Jeon were already there but it was the perfect timing to prevent you from falling into tears.
“You can come in,” you said loud enough for him to hear while turning your back to the cursed window.
The little-not-so-little boy you once knew slowly entered, a shy smile on his lips. “Hi noona.”
You stood up, looking at him, a bit awkward about what to do before giving in and hugging him tightly. It was the first time in a while you gave in some physical touch outside of your beloved roommate and you didn’t expect it to feel so great, but there it was, feeling like home again.
“Holy fuck, Kookie, you’ve grown up too much!” And he did. Last time you really saw each other was years ago and even if he wasn’t as small as he was when you were kids, the height difference between the two of you had drastically shifted.
You felt his arms tightened up around you as his smile grow bigger. “So I could hug you better!”
“It works,” you laughed, not ready to go out of this embrace yet. It was nice to be hugged.
“How are you doing lately?” he gently asked. “My mom told me you went to the hospital not so long ago, is everything fine now?”
The concern in his voice didn’t go unnoticed and you softened right away. The last thing you wanted was for him to worry about you. “My lungs like to play tricks but it’s nothing the hospital cannot handle, so I’m all good I guess?”
He looked at you with his doe eyes. “You sure I can’t give you my lungs and take yours instead?” It was the first time you heard him say that, he used to try to comfort you like that many many times back in the day.
You hit him in the arm, rolling your eyes. “Silly, you know I wouldn’t even with it on my worst enemy.”
“That’s because you’re your own worst enemy, but I totally would.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his statement, knowing damn well it was true.
The room fell into silence for a few seconds, but it was never an awkward one. You look at him a moment, thinking of how handsome he turned out and how glad you were to spend some time with your little brother at heart again after all this time.
“Tell me, mister Jeon,” you started while you sat on the side of your old bed. “How is everything going with your classes?”
He seemed surprised that you asked at first but happily sat in your desk chair to answer you. “It’s going!” he shrugged. “I guess I’m doing fine, and I have friends I know I can count on anyway so everything is fine!”
A genuine smile appeared on your lips as he talked. “I’m happy for you buddy, you deserve to have friends like that.”
He suddenly got a bit uncomfortable. Or sad. Or both, you couldn’t tell. “I fought with them not so long ago,” he shyly admitted while looking away.
His revelation surprised you, knowing how delicate he always was back in the days. You were taken aback a little, and as your experience with people wasn’t that great, you struggled to find the right question to ask. “Was it a big fight?” He shrugged, and you continued asking. “Are things better now?”
“They are, but not completely? I’m still mad at them, I guess.” He finished hesitantly.
You bit your lower lip, awkwardly putting your hand on his shoulder. Which, by the way, made you look ridiculous as you had to bend over to reach him. “I’m sure everything will work out buddy.”
He smiled at your effort and moved closer to you so you wouldn’t hurt your arm. “Aside from the fight, they are nice people, I swear.”
You asked him more about them and his eyes started to shine when he began to tell you about how he met them and how nice they were to him. You couldn’t help to smile at this endearing story, you were glad to know he’s in good hands, feeling like a proud sister watching your younger sibling making their own friends.
“Noona?” he slowly started to ask after his story ended. You hummed to let him know you were listening and he continued. “Tell me you aren’t doing this alone, please.”
You titled your head, raising an eyebrow, wondering if he saw you being always by yourself around the campus. You bit your lip, sighing at his sad look. “I’m not doing this alone, Kookie.” You tried to reassure him. “I have my roommate aside from my aunt, and that’s enough for me.”
He didn’t seem satisfied with your answer, remembering how his brother used to share his concerns about you with him. “That’s not much,” he eventually muttered after a small silence.
“I’m fine with that number. Even back then I had my two favorite people I was comfortable with, remember?”
“Hyung misses you.” It was so sudden that Jungkook himself was surprised by his words. “He asks me about you from time to time,” he quickly added.
“I miss him too,” you finally said back in a whisper after a moment of trying to hold back your tears. You scolded yourself in your head for being so sensitive over the matter but you couldn’t help it. It was only with him where you could be your true self and it started to get harder to play pretend all the time.
Unfortunately, you still had to put through an act at the moment, and your parents decided it was the best moment to call you for lunch.
♠♥♣♦
Too many dishes were on the table and you felt overwhelmed. Steam was coming out of the bowls making it harder for you to breath properly, but you didn’t want to burden the Jeon with your complaints so you kept your mouth shut.
Once you came down the stairs closely followed by Jungkook, you were welcomed by the bright smiles of the Jeon. You didn’t realize how much you missed them until they took you into a gentle but full of love embrace.
They seemed happy to see you and you couldn’t help but smile at their bright energy, until you remember your parents were there as well. You straighten your posture and your smile faded a bit.
Everything is fine.
When everyone sat around the table, you could feel the eldest son’s absence more than anything. When you used to eat all together, Junghyun was always on your left and you would have fun while eating, including the younger one in your sweet mischiefs. But he wasn’t there anymore and you could just stare at the empty space where he would usually sit.
♠♥♣♦
You wanted to stay silent as much as possible but all the attention was on you and you couldn’t just ignore the questions you were asked. You told them how you were doing with your study, how it was sometimes – not to say always – hard to follow while dealing with your condition, how the latter was slowly getting better but you still had to go to the hospital from time to time for a checkup or because you needed to, and had to tell them that a romantic relationship was far from what you wanted at the moment.
You didn’t have much to tell them otherwise. No side job you could talk about, nor time for hobbies of any kinds, nor friends they could possibly know. Fortunately for you, they didn’t insist on asking you questions, and the attention shifted onto Jungkook when his father proudly announced he was in the basketball team and how he was the one who made them win their last match.
“I heard about it yeah, congratulations Kookie!” He shyly smiled at you and you noticed his ears were red. “I was planning on coming to support you but my lungs decided otherwise that day.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty other games you could come to! Oh, wait!” You raised an eyebrow at his sudden idea and you indeed waited for him to continue. “You could come during practice! It would be less people, less noise, less stress, so no bad for your anxiety and your lungs!”
His excitement was so endearing you couldn’t say no, and it was truly a better idea than having to stand next to sweaty strangers. “I’ll come then,” you nodded, only to see his smile widening at your answer.
♠♥♣♦
It was now the time for them to leave and you went to the door with them for a last goodbye. They were about to go after a last hug you share when you took Jungkook’s sleeve. Because Jungkook didn’t come with his parents you thought it was a great opportunity to finally shoot the shot you never managed to throw since he talked to you in the bedroom. “I should have asked you earlier but why don’t we share our numbers?” you took your phone out of your pocket. “It’ll be easier if we want to talk, don’t you think?”
A big smile appeared on his face and he happily shook his head. “Of course! That way I could also get you updated on the practice sessions and all!”
He took his phone as well and he sent you a purple heart emoji once you gave him your number, which made you smile. He asked to take a photo for your contact profile right away and you gave him your brightest smile with a V sign. Came the time for Jungkook’s contact profile photo and he decided to make a dumb face at the last second, insisting after for you to keep it that way and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“By the way buddy,” you started after you put your phone back in your pocket. “If you ever want to chat or have some food, or watch a movie or whatever, my roommate is often at his girlfriend’s lately. You can come at my dorm whenever you feel like it.”
“You live at the dorms? I never knew!” he exclaimed all smiley after hearing your proposition.
“Well, now you know,” you joked, playing with your eyebrows at the same time.
His smile got bigger when he asked “I’ll see you at the campus then?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you there.” You were both silent for a few seconds before you gently pushed him, feeling like he wouldn’t move otherwise. “Come on, get home safe Kookie.”
He softly laughed, slowly backing away is his hands raised. “Don’t worry for me noona. I’m a big boy now!” And to prove his statement, he started to show off his muscles.
You were now leaning against the doorway, your arms crossed. “I’ll always worry about you, that’s what a big sister is there for, right?”
He threw you a flying kiss and you answered with finger hearts, and you watched him leave with a smile on both of your faces. You stayed there until you couldn’t see him anymore and a loud sighed left your lips.
Apart from being with your parents, the day has been great so far mostly thanks to the mini Jeon. As much as you loved him, it was draining to talk that much to somebody and you were already exhausted.
However, you were happy to see how much he grew up and what kind of man he started to become. This kid has the potential to be something big in the future and now that you saw him again – and that you were about to spend more time with him soon – you couldn’t wait to see him grow even more.
♠♥♣♦
Your mom called you and you reluctantly made your way inside the house, making sure you closed the door as silently as possible. The last thing you wanted at that moment was to hear your mother scolding you because she can’t bear loud noises.
“You seem to get well with the little one, Pearl.” You rolled your eyes when you knew you were out of sight. “What a shame his brother couldn’t be here, I remember how you used to have a soft spot for him.”
You scoffed. “You remember things about me now? Congratulations.”
“Come on Pearl, don’t be so harsh on your poor mother. I’m trying my best, you know?”
“Don’t waste your time on me,” you sighed. “I know you don’t mean it anyway.” And with that, you were climbing the stairs to go back in your old bedroom. You didn’t want to face her once more but something stopped you midway and you couldn’t help but barked at her “And don’t call me Pearl again, you have no rights too.”
Ten minutes later, you were already on your way to the campus, more than ready for a well-deserved nap you’ll take before you could find the energy to complain to your beloved roommate.
♠♥♣♦
previous - m.list - next
♠♥♣♦
taglist: @alpacaseoks, @secretlycrazyhummingbird
♠♥♣♦
There it is, my first written chapter! For the little story, the conversation OC and Jungkook have in the bedroom is the very first thing I've written for Facts and I'm glad to share it with you today. I can't wait to show you more of their relationship!
Unfortunately, it was the last update until August, and I won't have much access to Tumblr during the next two weeks :(
However, feel free to use the ask and tell box during that time (or even after, of course), I'll try my best to answer when I come back!
I 💜 you,
It was Neth talking to you, take care :]
#bts#bts smau#bts fanfiction#kim seokjin#kim seokjin smau#kim seokjin fanfiction#kim seokjin x reader#kim seokjin x yn#seokjin#seokjin smau#seokjin fanfiction#seokjin x reader#seokjin x yn#jin#jin smau#jin fanfiction#jin x reader#jin x yn
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P.D.L.M | ksj
précis— somewhere in your heart, there laid a list of reasons you fell in love with your best friend Seokjin. a mixture of his looks and mannerisms littered the imaginary list. two things that most definitely were not on the list were Jin's empty promises and cold words. though you vowed to be content with being friends with benefits with Jin, you couldn't stop the list from taunting you. mocking you for loving a man that seems inacapable of loving you back.
pairing— welcome to bangtan!jin x best friend!yn
warnings— reader is head over heels for jin :( , jin is.. problematic hahaa
coming soon ♡
a/n— taglist is open ofc☺️ and bc its been a minute pls lmk if u would like to be taken off of the permanent taglist <3 aand lastlyy, what do u think 'PDLM' stands forr????
#hhtt pdlm#bts smau#bts social media au#bts au#bts texts#bts fic#bts au fic#bts fanfic#bts au fanfic#bts kim seokjin#kim seokjin au#kim seokjin#kim seokjin fic#kim seokjin smau#seokjin fic#jin x yn#jin x reader#fuckboy!jin#bff!jin
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(1998) 8:00 am
A tall well-built man entered an alley and started walking toward a house
7:00 am(Y/n's house)
A little 5-year-old girl went running to her dad
Little y/n: Dad I made a drawing of our family
Poor little thought that her drunk dad would praise her
Y/n/d: You little piece of shit! get away from me!
Y/n started crying and went to her room while crying she didn't notice when she fall asleep
7:50 a.m.
Y/n Woke up from her dusty mattress looked around and decided to see her father
She came down running and saw her father talking with a tall well-built man
Soon the man had his fierce eyes on the little girl while she was looking at her father with her doe eyes 🥺
???:Is she the one you are talking about?
Y/n/d: Well yes she is the one
??? Walked towards
???:Hello little birdie, My name is Michael YOUR NEW OWNER!
Y/N Got scared and tried to run away but Michael caught her instantly
Y/N Started crying she started begging her father
Y/N: Appa! I-Ill be a good girl please don't do this to me I'll always l-listen to you!
Apps I'll prom-
(Y/n blacked out)
Morning 6:30
Y/n opens her eyes
She looks around
Y/n realizes that she is being tied to a pole
She started crying
Michael who was in another room torturing a guy heard her crying
Michael grabbed the guy's hair and started dragging him to the room where y/n was tied to the pole and then started torturing the guy in front of y/n
Michael: If you don't stop crying right now you would be the one next!
But y/n couldn't hear him as she could only hear the guy's screams
Michael got angry as y/n didn't stop crying at last he stopped torturing the guy and walked towards y/n
Y/n's crying got worse as she started choking on her tears
Michael took out his gun and shot the guy in front of y/n
This incident changed y/n whole life she was disturbed and distressed but the good point was she didn't fear blood anymore
She didn't fear people's pleading and screaming anymore she was now a heartless bitch
Present(2022) 8:30
A girl in the Van looking out of the window getting flashbacks from her past the rain stops in front of a house
Michael: (Sigh...) well it's the time to destroy your past from your life y/n
Y/n emotionlessly steps down from the Van and walks towards the house
Jason breaks down the door and they enter the house...
In whose house did they enter?
what is y/n's past?
what do you think?
I hope you guys like this part, I will try my best to make the story more interesting till then take care bye bye and love yourself💟💜
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#bts#btsarmy#bts army#mafia#fanfic#bts kim seokjin#bts kim namjoon#bts jimin#bts x reader#bts suga#bts hoseok#bts taehyung#bts jeon jeongguk#bts x army#bts x y/n#bts x yn
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Ayee, I have some story updates:
I'm adding gifs to A new Oneshot
Editing a new chapter of The Librarian
Started writing Chapter 4 of A Hopeless Place
* I'm excited for these next chapters*
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nonidol!kevin moon x f!reader
another summer break, another annual trip to the lake! except, it seems like when you and kev get there, you'll have to make some tweaks to the original rescue protocol.
▷ genre, warnings. childhood friends 2 lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, humor, swearing, motherly meddling and matchmaking, shirtless kevin..., kissing, talks of academic expectations/pressure/insecurity/and lack of fulfillment, kim seokjin is my favorite plot device, this could technically be slow burn, pining-ish?, im sorry joshua + serena, little to no interactions with the other boyz 😔
▷ word count. 29.0k (...hah)
this is the sixth installment of the love in unity series! reading the prev fics is not required, but i do encourage it :] all prev yns will be referred to as _!yn
a/n: return to summer with me 😌 or for those of u on the other side of the world, we can give summer an early welcome :') treat her w kindness pls </3 hope u enjoy!!
EPISODE ONE (PILOT): DON’T YOU LOVE FORESHADOWING?
"IT still feels weird, man." Kevin Moon brushed his hand over the surface of his newly cropped hair, freshly cut specifically for this summer break, just earlier this week. He probably should have gotten it done before he took all those pictures with his graduating friends, but life had been busy as of late.
Jacob Bae, best friend, roommate, and one of the recent graduates, chuckled from the other side of the video chat. "I'm sure it does. But hey, it looks good, so it's not like you have anything to worry about."
Kevin glanced over at the car where his dad was gassing up. His mom was in the back seat, waving her arm out the window to beckon him back to the vehicle. "Thanks," he grinned. "Looks like my mom is telling me to come back. This is probably the last time I'll have signal for a few weeks."
Just behind Kevin was the little gas station he and his parents stopped at for snacks and the last leg of their drive. It was tradition that every summer his family made the trek to their lakeside cabin a few hours out of Vancouver. Except last summer, Kevin couldn't make it; in contrast, this summer, Kevin and his parents were going without Kevin's younger sister. Usually, there were a couple other families that were there at the same time, too, who Kevin had grown up with. It was usually a grand time.
Kevin adjusted the bag of snacks he'd purchased from the store that hung on his arm as he made his way back to the car.
"Make sure to take pics! And say hi to your mom for me," said Jacob.
"Why don't you say hi to her yourself, Jacob-ah?" Kevin's mom chided teasingly as Kevin took his place in the passenger seat next to his dad. Ever since Kevin and Jacob had met at that one, fateful out-of-country student mixer at university, neither of them shut up about each other to their own families. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, locating a fellow Korean-Canadian.
Kevin passed his phone back to his mom, and he heard Jacob's immediate, "Hi imo! How are you?"
"I've been doing well. Wah, you look so glowy," his mom marveled, and Kevin felt her nudge him in the shoulder. "Hyungseo-ah, maybe you should get a girlfriend, too, if this is how radiant Jacob looks after so long."
Jacob's warm chuckle contrasted Kevin's groan. The latter rubbed his hand down his face with an embarrassed wince. "Eomma," he said weakly, sliding down in his seat. Not this again.
The car began to roll out of the gas station and he lowered his window to catch the breeze as they went. He already recognized the pattern of trees in this area, and his heart fluttered at the thought of being so close to childhood again. The lake was always a favorite place of his.
"—Kevin mentioned something about other families being there?"
"Oh, yes. We're always there with the Ln family, and more recently, Kevin's cousin—you know Yuna, right? She and her husband Seokjin meet us there with their kids now."
Kevin rested his elbow along the edge of the window. "Uncle Seokjin is an interesting character, Cobie," he mused. "I think you'd get along."
"Seokjin gets along with everyone," his dad chimed in.
"You know who you should get along with, Kevin?—" Kevin already knew where his mom was going with this, "—Yn Ln! You're not gonna be shy after spending so long away from her, are you?"
Jacob's voice echoed in the car. "Who's Yn Ln?"
Kevin squirmed in his seat. "Just—a family friend. Mom, can we please not make this a big deal?" And why in the world would he be shy around his childhood best friend? Three years couldn’t have changed a person that much, could it? You were cute—but in a dorky way—that was how he had always seen you.
She sent him an innocent look. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know what I'm talking about," he said, twisting around in his seat to send her a pleading look. "I don't wanna make her uncomfortable, especially since… y'know… we're not kids anymore?"
His mom made a sound of disapproval, but relented. "Aish, fine. I won't say anything; I promise."
A beat of silence. Then from the phone, "I still have no clue what's going on."
The twins were being a pain again. Most of the time, since you were away at college, you actually missed the twin hellspawn, but you should have known that bliss would shatter the moment you had to endure another five hour car ride with them.
"—MAMA, CONNOR IS BEING A JERK—"
"WELL, ALICE WOULDN'T SHARE THE GOLDFISH!"
The noise-canceling headphones weren't working. Usually, they worked substantially well when trying to block out the frat party noises at school, but they weren't holding up well against adolescent discourse. You would have thought that once they had grown out of toddler-hood, they would calm down a little, but sibling rivalry prevailed.
You shucked your useless headphones off and twisted around in your seat to peer into the backseat. "Here, have mine," you said, dropping your bag of goldfish into your little brother's lap.
Connor's eyes lit up in delight. "Thanks, Yn!"
Your ears rang as you turned back to the front.
The drive up to the lake house was something you and your family did every summer, except, you hadn't gone two summers ago for a summer internship. It was a tradition completed with other families—namely the Moons, who were longtime family friends out of Vancouver. You hadn't seen Kevin, their only son who was your age, in two years because of your conflicting schedules. It would have happened again this year, but your misfortune had you internship-less. Then again, a trip to the lake was never a bad thing.
You leaned your head back against your seat rest to enjoy the rare moment of silence in the car. Already, you could begin to point out the familiar scenery out of your window.
“I heard we’re gonna be getting new neighbors this year,” you heard your mother say from the front row, breaking the brief quiet.
You blinked out of your daze, shifting in your seat and to give momentary relief to your aching behind. “Oh, really? Do we know who they are?”
“Aw, so Uncle Jin and Auntie Yuna aren’t coming to the lake with us?” Alice pouted from the backseat.
“No, Uncle and Auntie are both still coming up with us,” you dad piped up from the driver’s seat. He caught your eyes through the rear view mirror. “Their little ones are coming, too. We’re just gonna have even more people this year.”
“Should be fun,” you murmured. You leaned down to rummage through the backpack at your feet for your backup bag of snacks (because some part of your brain just knew that the twins would forget how to share).
“I can’t wait to see Kevin!” This was Connor; you could feel the car shake as he bounced up and down in his seat. “I’ve been wanting to show him my new helicopter—”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “Con, you brought the helicopter?”
“Yeah, and what about it?”
Before further argument could erupt between you and your brother, your mom stepped in. “Speaking of Kevin…”
You could feel the coming conversation like there were dark gray storm clouds forming in the distance—impending doom, you liked to think. You fumbled with the opening of your chip bag. “Mama, could you possibly, by any chance, not try and set me and Kevin up anymore?” There, you’d said it. It was out in the open.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” your mother sniffed. “I only think that you and Kevin would be very nice together! It’s already so convenient that our families are long-time friends, and—”
“Mama,” you emphasized. “I don’t wanna get into a relationship for convenience's sake.” Your skin was already beginning to heat. Having known the Moons for so long, as well as having kids the same age, your mom and his mom had harped on the opportunity to bring your families together through more than one way.
“She just doesn’t want to get into a relationship at all!” Your little brother cackled.
You sent him a dull look over your shoulder. “And after I gave you my goldfish?” The situation concerning relationships wasn’t as Connor so bluntly put it; rather, you simply had yet to find the right person, as it was for many people. A relationship would have been nice, but when it came, then it would come. Plus, you were pretty sure that Kevin wasn’t the most comfortable with being matchmade with you by the Mother Matchmakers either. That was what the pact was for, anyway.
“I’m just saying that Kevin is a smart, good-looking young man,” your mother teased.
You hadn’t seen him in almost three years, but how much could three years change a guy? Maybe you would admit that he was cute. If you hadn’t known him since he wore Cars diapers, maybe you would have had a crush on him. “No matchmaking,” you repeated.
Your mother sighed melodramatically. “Fine. No matchmaking with Kevin.”
“Thank you,” you said, settling into your seat. Something stirred in the back of your mind, though. For some reason, you had a feeling that this wasn’t the end of this conversation. But as you turned your attention back to the scenery whizzing past you, you let all dealings with matchmaking, boys, and relationships sink to the very back of your mind.
EPISODE TWO: IT’S CALLED AN AMBUSH
THANKS to the convenience of no signal, you could safely attempt to forget about the internship you hadn’t landed this year. The entire debacle had been a headache and a half, but the residual sadness still lingered. There was something about the lakehouse, though, that gave you hope that you could get over it. While you wouldn’t spend this summer doing something “productive” toward your career, you would at least be presented with a pleasant alternative.
Your dad pulled the family SUV into the gravel driveway of your family lakehouse, and childhood flooded back to you. All of the dark oak walls and browned window sills and wildflowers blooming in the front walkway among the grass… You could remember crashing your bike into that one bush to the side of the house where the rain gutter now stood hugging the building.
The twins had fallen asleep sometime between the matchmaking conversation and here, which left the car in a sort of serenity that matched the surroundings. Your house in particular was one of the few houses that was perched a little higher than the lakeshore. There were a couple around the lake that sat directly on the water with docks built into their lower levels though.
You notched your car door open, shouldered your backpack, then quietly lowered your car’s seat. Connor, who was sitting directly behind you, had his head tilted to the side, mouth wide open to catch flies as he slept. With a cheeky smile, you snapped a picture of him. Once tucking your phone away, you climbed into the back to shake him and Alice awake.
“Hey, we’re here,” you murmured. Your parents were already beginning to unload the car of your supplies for the next couple of weeks.
Your brother’s eyes fluttered open, and his arms stretched over his head as he began to compute his surroundings. “Mmm… I’m hungry,” he babbled and smacked his lips together.
Yep, this one was awake.
You patted his face in your version of sisterly affection as you leaned over him to get to his twin. “You gotta wait, dude. You’re gonna ruin your dinner.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. “You always sound like Mom when you say that.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you huffed. You nudged your sister. “Hey, Alice. Up, hm?”
She shifted in her seat, eyes still closed. “Are we here yet?”
“Yeah, hon. We’re here.” With your task completed, you backed out of the car to make space for the twins to climb out after you. You took a step backwards, your foot catching against something and making you tumble into the person directly behind you. “Ah! Shi—”
“Language!” Your mom called from the other side of the car. “Hi Kevin! Wow, did you get a haircut?”
Kevin…?
You recognized the warm chuckle behind you, and the arms helping to steady you patted your shoulders in greeting. “I did!”
When you whirled around, your mouth stretched in a grin, but you didn’t expect to come face to face with the confident stature of the man behind you. He was in a tank top and shorts, which were definitely proper attire for the humid temperature, and yet, your brain was thinking about the amount of arm muscle there was. Oh, and of course, the cropped black hair. You could have sworn his jaw got sharper, too… This was not the timid-faced Kevin Moon—rising freshman in college—you last recalled.
“Kevin!” Connor’s body rocketed past you and crashed into Kevin’s legs.
Kevin bent down slightly to ruffle your little brother’s hair. “Hey, little man! What’s good?”
“I wanna show you my helicopter—!”
“Connor,” Alice said as she hopped out of the car, “Mama wants you to help bring in your stuff, and then you can show Kevin your helicopter.”
Connor’s mouth gaped open like a fish’s. “Wha—what about Yn?”
“Well, that’s just what Mama said, so,” your little sister said matter-of-factly. She raised a hand in a wave to Kevin. “Hi!”
Kevin returned the gesture with a sweet smile. “Hi, Alice.”
You and Kevin watched as your twin siblings raced into the lakehouse with their backpacks strapped onto their bodies. You could hear their hollering from out here as they fought over who would get the top bunk this year.
“They’ve gotten taller,” Kevin commented, drawing your attention back to him.
You brushed your hair from your face. “Yeah, you should’ve seen my reaction when I came back home and they were like, not small enough where I could trip over them anymore.”
The two of you shared a small laugh, and you held one arm with your other. You hadn’t realized how a few years could reset things between the two of you, but you supposed it was also attributed to the fact that three years away at college could lead to a lot of difference and a lot of growth.
“So what’s new with you?” You asked him and nudged his arm with your elbow. “Have you been working out?” You blurted, but ran with it.
Kevin smiled, reaching back to cup the nape of his neck with that sheepishness you recognized as something distinctly Kevin. Maybe things weren’t so different. “Hah, yeah actually. Is it that noticeable?”
You looked him up and down with what you hoped he saw as teasing and not you actually checking him out. “Yeah, dude. You look good though.”
“Really? Thanks, Yn. I appreciate it.” He stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts. "You look good, too—and oh my god, I have so much to catch you up on—"
"Hyungseo! Stop hogging Yn and come in to help with dinner." Just a little ways down the path, Kevin’s mom peered out from the front porch of the Moons’ house. The houses in this neighborhood were a little more spread out than the average suburban street, but their house had always been the closest to yours.
You could have sworn you saw a dusting of pink on your friend’s cheekbones. “I’m not hogging her,” he groaned. He turned back to you, throwing a thumb in the direction of his house. “I’ll see you guys over at ours in a few then?”
You gave a nod. “For sure. My mom and I marinated a couple things for tonight this morning, so we’ll be bringing those over.”
“Sweet,” he grinned, already backpedaling toward his house. “See ya, Yn!”
“Bye, Kevin,” you chuckled and bounded up toward your house.
Once everyone in your household had settled in for the most part, your dad corralled your siblings over to the Moon house, while you and your mom brought over your family’s offerings of tonight’s dinner. Instead of entering through their front door, you simply bypassed the invisible property line between your houses and found Kevin and his dad firing up the barbeque on the back lawn.
Kevin looked up from the box of aluminum foil in his hands and dropped it onto the table. "Oh, auntie! Let me get that for you," he said, meeting you in the middle and taking the tray out of your mom's hands.
"Thank you," she said to him. "How has school been, Kevin? Remind me again—you're a…?"
"Photography major," he replied. The three of you swept past Kevin's dad on your way up to the Moons' house.
"Ah, how's that going for you?"
"It's going well—" Your mom slid the screen door open and you all deposited your shoes to the side before entering the kitchen. "—I should be able to graduate two quarters early, which is nice."
Your mom nodded her head. "That's good, that's good. Katherine, it's nice to see you again!"
As your mom shuffled over to the sink where Kevin's mom was washing a colander of cabbage, you and Kevin set the trays down on the kitchen island.
You heard Kevin's gasp of delight when he lifted the foil off his. "No way. I love your mom's short ribs so much," he said, tipping his head back with his eyes closed.
You laughed at his reaction. "Me, too dude. It's never the same when I try to recreate it at school."
"Oh, for sure," he agreed. He cocked his head to the side, a frown coming into his face. "These should probably go back out to the grill then, huh."
You considered the two trays of meat before you. "You're right."
You both covered the trays back over and began to make your way back out to the lawn.
"Has Connor showed you his helicopter yet?" You asked Kevin while you slid your shoes back on.
The screen door slid shut behind him with his other arm carrying his tray. "He did." Kevin brightened, "It's cool. That kid should go into aviation or engineering."
"That's what I'm thinking," you said. "Though, he's not the greatest at math, but I guess he still has a long way to go before he even needs to consider all that."
He nodded, sighing. "That's true. The twins have a long way to go. Crazy how far we've gotten, y'know?"
You both dropped the marinated meat trays over by Kevin's dad, only to greet your dad on the way down to help out. You were sure that you and Kevin were needed up at the house anyway; your dad had mentioned something about having Connor and Alice start on the batch of kimchi. You hoped he had set up some newspaper this time to avoid a mess.
"My sister says your porch swing broke last year," Kevin said as he followed you back into the kitchen.
"Oh yeah!" You snorted. "Pro tip: don't try to fit two families on that thing. Not a good idea."
The moms directed you both over to the fruits and vegetables on the counter that still needed to be prepped, and you picked up a knife, and Kevin a peeler.
Kevin's brows knitted together as he tossed and caught an asian pear with one hand. "You guys tried to fit both families on that thing? It could barely handle two people the last time I remember."
"Hey, in our defense," you started, already giggling at the memory, "we wanted a cool picture, but then we ended up almost putting a hole through our porch. Lesson learned."
"Lesson learned, indeed." He shook his head as he shucked the pretty ring of golden peel he'd gotten from the pear into the paper bag beside him. "Is it fixed now?"
"Should be," you said. You used the blade of your knife to help coax the peel of the red onion off, then diligently began to take the rest off. "We need a maximum occupancy sign to go with it."
He laughed. "Something like 'less than four people' or something?"
"I think it can handle four people!"
His eyebrows arched high. "You wanna test that theory?"
You glanced up from your diced onions for just a second to meet his gaze. "Uhm no. But you are definitely welcome to."
"Oh, no, no! I'm not getting looped into this solo again like you did with the tire swing that one year."
"Okay, that time wasn't my fault! You said that you bet we could ride it together without breaking the tree branch, and I said—"
Your thought train cut off when the doorbell rang. Both yours and Kevin's heads perked up at the sound and darted in the direction like a pair of meerkats. Even from this room, you could hear the front door being opened and the commotion firing up. There was only one family left to join the party, and you knew exactly who had come to make his presence known.
In minimal time, a lanky man with dark brown bangs and a magazine-cover-worthy face barged into the kitchen with his hands raised, full of grocery bags, and a child riding in a carrier on his chest. "Hello, everyone! Your favorite, most handsome uncle has arrived."
"Hi, Uncle Jin," both you and Kevin chorused, as Kevin's mom took the grocery bags from him with thanks. Your mom must have been the one who opened the door since she had gone into the other room to monitor the twins and their kimchi.
"Hello, children—wow," Kim Seokjin said as he made eyes at Kevin's arms, giving them a little squish. "Close the gyms, everyone. What have they been feeding you at college?"
Kevin's face reddened. "It's nothing, really."
"Nothing?" Seokjin made eye contact with you. "You're seeing this, too, right?"
You swallowed your laugh, but you couldn't suppress your smile. "I'm seeing it, too," you confirmed. You set your knife down and gently ran your finger over baby Leena's head; you wondered how she was still asleep with how loud her father's voice was. "Awh, she's adorable."
Your uncle by association put his hands on his hips. "Fatherhood is great, but let me tell you," he said with flair, "after two kids, I don't want anymore. I think I've seen enough dirty diapers for you both combined."
Kevin laughed. "I'm sure Yuna-noona's on the same page."
"Yes, your cousin and I are definitely on the same page," Jin confirmed while clasping a hand on Kevin's shoulder. His eyes widened, and he gave the muscle beneath his fingers a squeeze. "Jesus—"
"Jin! Do you know where the bag with the formula is?" That was Yuna, Kevin's cousin, calling from the next room over. Soon, her head poked in through the doorway, and her mouth curved into a delighted smile at the sight of familiar faces. "Oh, hi everyone!"
"I think it's in the red colored bag, babe," Jin said as he turned away from you and Kevin and waddled over to where his wife was.
"That's what I thought, too, but I can't find it."
With the young couple now off in search of their bag of baby formula, you and Kevin were again left to yourselves with the fruits and vegetables.
You scooped the diced onions up with one hand and the blade of your knife into an empty bowl for later. "Well, that was…"
"Quite an entrance?" Kevin finished. You could still see the rosiness in his cheeks. "Yup."
"You can always count on Uncle Jin to liven up a place."
"Oh, definitely." Kevin picked up another pear to peel; they would probably either be sliced up for the kids to eat or maybe used to make a dessert later. Something of the sort, at least. "Now where were we?"
You raised your brows as you picked up a carrot. "I think we were talking about how you broke the tire swing in seventh grade."
The evening progressed swiftly with everyone's combined efforts in throwing dinner together. By the time the sun was about to make its descent into the horizon, all three families were moved out onto the back lawn with chairs set up and meats cooking on the grill. There was something beautiful about the lake at this hour—then again, there was always something beautiful about the lake. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but even the way the mosquitoes danced in the waning sunlight made your chest feel warm and fuzzy.
If you strained your vision a little, you could even make out the shapes of people on the opposite shoreline beginning to light campfires of their own. Most of the people who lived around the perimeter of the lake sublet their properties during the non-vacation seasons like your family, the Moons, and the Kims. Then, when the time came, they would return to their lakehouse hideaways for much needed rejuvenation.
As golden hour painted the landscape glorious shades of auburn and butter, you caught your mother making her way toward you out of the corner of your eye.
“Yn-ah,” she said to you with a plate of the fruit that you and Kevin had cut earlier in her hands. She gestured for you to take it from her, then nodded up over to the house on the other side of the Moons’ place. “Take the twins and go welcome our new guests.”
You furrowed your brows. “New guests?” When you followed her gaze, you saw that the house next door had acquired a new car in its driveway. You definitely didn’t recognize it, but you managed to spot what looked like someone disappearing in the front door of the house.
“They’re one of the new families, I think,” she told you. She then gave you a little nudge, urging, “Go. We’re still working on dinner anyways.”
You glanced between the plate of fruit in your possession, then searched the back lawn for the hellspawn. When you located their whereabouts (skipping through a pair of hula hoops over by the big oak tree), you marched over to them to repeat your mother’s instructions.
“Oi!” You called out.
Alice looked over at you as she stopped her skipping. “I don’t want fruit,” she said when she saw what you were holding.
You stopped just short of Connor’s hula hoop circumference. “It’s not for you. Mama wants us to go say hi to the new neighbors. Come on.”
“Do we have to?”
“If I do, then yes. And Mama said so.” Plus, you were not planning to go alone upon any circumstance. Your social anxiety could not take showing up at a stranger’s doorstep alone and with fruit.
The twins dropped their hula hoops and begrudgingly trudged after you. No child could trump the “Mom said so” card. At least, not in this household.
With your siblings following after you like two ducklings to a Mother Goose, Kevin saw the line of you walking past from where he was stationed beside his dad. His eyes zipped from you, the kids, and the plate of fruit, then cocked his head to the side in bemused inquiry.
You inclined your head toward the house you aimed for in the distance and lifted the plate of fruit as if that was enough explanation.
He gave a grave nod for your sake, teasing of course, then held up his free hand in a thumb’s up for encouragement.
Nonetheless, you and your siblings carried on.
The lakehouse on the Moons’ other side was similar to all the others around the lake: dark wood walls, doors encased in a protective screen door, grass and flowers growing out of the cracks where the house met the earth. You could feel your siblings converge on you, nearly hiding behind you, as you all approached the front door. It wasn’t that the house looked scary in any way—it was just the prospect of new people that was the scary part. You were sure this family was just as friendly as everyone else, but it didn’t hurt to be a little nervous.
When the three of you reached the front door, you raised your hand to ring the doorbell.
You could hear the echo of the bell inside the house, followed swiftly by a man’s voice, “I’ll get it!”
Footsteps drawing closer… then the locks came undone, and finally, the main door inside the screen swung open.
“Hi,” greeted the young man on the other side.
You paused when his face became clearer after opening the screen door. He was, to put it bluntly, awfully pretty. Dark hair swept back out of his face and behind his ear, a prince’s facial features, and a smile that was as beautiful as the golden hour greeted you and your siblings. Even his voice was soft.
Alice held onto the side of your shorts pocket. “You're pretty.”
The man made an expression of humble surprise, and heat rose to your neck. “Sorry,” you stammered. “We’re from a couple doors down and we wanted to welcome you to the lake. These are for you and your family.” You managed to pass the plate over to him without being any more embarrassing.
He accepted the offering graciously. “Oh, wow. Thank you so much! That’s so thoughtful.”
You placed your hands on either of your siblings’ backs to push them forward slightly. “I’m Yn, and these are my little siblings, Alice and Connor.”
Your siblings chimed in their hellos to the pretty man.
His eyes narrowed in upturned crescent moons, smile widening. “Well it’s really nice to meet you guys. I’m Joshua, but my friends call me Josh or Shua.”
EPISODE THREE: MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN…
IT turned out that your mother had an ulterior motive for sending you and your siblings to greet the newcomers. She had popped up behind you soon after Joshua had introduced himself to invite him and his family to have dinner with you. You could sniff out the conspiracy from a mile away, but you still wanted to give your mom the benefit of the doubt.
When the first night passed without anything happening, though, you slowly let your guard down. (Rookie mistake.)
Everyone crashed into bed after cleaning up dinner. The move up to the lake was a tiring one, and the promise of an early start the next morning proved to be more than enough encouragement to hit the hay.
You were on the living room couch with Alice sitting on the floor between your legs the next day. It was late morning by this time, and you and your siblings had just woken up less than an hour ago. Your dad was still asleep, and your mom? Well, you weren’t really sure where he was.
“Ow, can you stop tugging?” Alice whined under her breath, her hand rocketing up to the back of her head to stop your hands.
You paused your movement for the third time in the past fifteen minutes. “It wouldn’t hurt this bad if you would just let me run a comb through it.”
“The brush works fine if you use it correctly!”
You exhaled sharply and pressed your lips together. There was never any rest between your two little siblings, whether it was amongst themselves or against you. You supposed you could just suck it up for the time being; it wasn’t often that you got to braid your little sister’s hair. She usually just liked to leave it down.
You heard the backdoor open and shut behind you, and the both of you turned your heads to see who it was. Your mom entered the house with perspiration gleaming on her face as she took off her sun hat and tossed it onto one of the dining room chairs.
“Hi Mama,” the two of you said, one after the other.
Your mom settled onto the couch cushion next to you. “Hi girls. Is your brother and dad up yet?”
“Connor’s with Uncle Jin and Aunt Yuna,” said Alice. “Daddy’s still asleep though.”
“Mm,” she hummed. She combed her fingers through her sweat-soaked hair. “It’s a warm morning out,” she murmured, then quickly added, “hey you.” She knocked her hand against your arm.
“Hm?” You asked as you finished up Alice’s braid and tied it off with the blue Cinnamoroll hair tie she’d chosen. You patted her back with your hand. “You’re done.”
Your little sister hopped to her feet. “Thanks!” She dashed away and out of the room—to where, you had no clue. You figured she knew where the food was if she was hungry.
You angled your body to squish your side against the couch cushions and face your mother. “What were you saying?”
“Ah, I was going to talk to you about the Joshua Hong boy.”
Joshua Hong. You didn’t realize you could hear a man’s name so often within twelve hours.
You made a gesture with your hand. “What about the Joshua Hong boy, Mom?”
“Well, isn’t he a handsome one?” She asked you enthusiastically, straightening in her seat. It was alarming how bright her expression became. “I spoke to his mom while Kevin and I were walking just now, and he’s only a few years older than you, you know.”
You heard a metaphorical record scratch. What? There was so much in that one sentence that you needed to unpack. You raised your hands to signal her to pause. “Wait, since when do you and Kevin take walks together?” What could they have been talking about? You knew Kevin was an exceptional conversationalist, but never in your time at the lake had you known of this interaction.
Your mother blinked. “Oh, we started the tradition when you didn’t come up with us that one year.”
“Tradition?” So this happened more than once? You didn’t know why you were so scandalized by this information—it was just Kevin after all. You knew your parents and even your siblings were all fond of him—of course they were. You were arguably even more fond of him, but that wasn’t the point. You hoped she hadn't said anything about you and him as an item at any point of time… you trusted that Kevin could handle that though; that was what the pact was for, after all.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” She arched a brow. “But anyway, yes, so we bumped into Josh’s mom on the last leg around the lake, and she mentioned that he’s majoring in chemistry and planning to go into medicine. You guys might have something in common.”
You pursed your lips. Perhaps the two of you might have something to talk about, but your track was pre-veterinary rather than pre-med. There was probably a middle ground though... Maybe you were just being stubborn.
“Just make friends or something,” she said to you while standing up from the couch. “You need more of those.”
Your eyes shot wide open. “Hello? Mom?” Now that was simply uncalled for.
She chuckled impishly as she walked away and disappeared down the hall, leaving you to yourself. You were lucky neither of the twins were here to hear that burn.
It wasn’t much longer than a couple hours later that you found yourself on the backyard lawn space setting up the badminton net between two oak trees with Kevin’s assistance. Everyone was outside and awake, and the kids were all seated up on your house’s back porch munching on the watermelon that Yuna cut for them.
You tightened the string on one side of the net. “So he didn't kiss her?” You queried.
Kevin sputtered a laugh, yanking his side to test its integrity. “Yeah,” he said. “Isn’t it so funny? According to multiple sources, Sunwoo and Chanhee barged in at the perfect moment, and frankly—” Kevin raised his arms up in the air and let them fall for effect, “—ruined the moment.”
"Pfft.” You considered that for a moment. An almost kiss ruined by a comedically timed interruption from a guy drunk off liquor and love, and the friend tasked with dumping his ass at home. That was bad luck if you ever heard it. “And what about that other dude? The Hyunjae guy? Did he finally fix his eyesight?”
Your friend leaned back against his oak tree, ankles crossed over the other and arms braided over his chest. A pair of shades rested backwards on his head to complete his summer-worthy ensemble of shorts and T-shirt. “His literal eyesight is still shit, but yeah, he and HJ!Yn are together now. Took for-fucking-ever, but—”
“Language!” Jin yelled like a referee on the sideline of a soccer match. “We have children in the vicinity.”
Kevin brushed a hand through his hair. “Whoopsies, sorry!” He turned back to you. “Anyways, yes, they are finally together. Man, having someone watch my cursing makes it seem like Jacob is here with me.”
You noticed the fond twinkle in his eyes as he stared out at the still waters of the lake just down the way from you both. “You talk about this Jacob guy a lot,” you said to him. “I think I need to meet the person who’s threatening to knock me off the best friend pedestal.”
“He already has,” he jested.
You let out an indignant squawk. “Hurtful!”
Connor, watermelon juice smeared all around his mouth, added rather unnecessarily, “So you don’t want a partner and you don’t have friends. What do you have, Yn?”
You leveled a scowl at him. “An annoying little brother.”
“Hey!”
In a tone dryer than the Sahara Desert, Alice chimed in, “Guess that makes me the favorite twin.”
“I should tell you about Sangyeon. I need to yell about Sangyeon,” Kevin huffed indignantly, snapping his fingers as if the thought just hit him. You whipped your head back over. “Oh my god, dude, you know what happened at the graduation ceremony? It was like, straight out of a scene from a movie—!”
You never got to find out what was just like it was out of a movie, because your mom appeared in the distance with the Hongs. They all came wielding badminton racquets—how convenient. You didn’t mind the extra company, of course, and despite your stubbornness, you knew Joshua and his family were very nice people.
You caught the tail end of your mother’s conversation with Josh and his mom: “...Yn used to play badminton on the high school team. She could’ve gone to the Olympics if she really wanted to—”
Well, that was only partly true. Your team had gone to Nationals, but the Olympics was one step above Worlds. You liked to think you were pretty good at the sport, but you hoped your mom wasn’t talking up you and your abilities too much.
“Oh, wow. I’m a soccer person myself,” said Joshua good-naturedly. “I don’t really know much about badminton, but it seems like a really fun sport.”
"Yn's a great teacher. She taught the twins how to play." Ah, there it was.
When they were within a comfortable distance, you raised your hand in a wave. "Hi hello!"
"Hello Yn," Joshua's mom said back. "Hi Kevin."
Kevin dipped his head with a smile. "Hi Auntie."
"Yn-ah," said your mom as she took you by the arm, dragging you over toward Joshua, "I was just talking to Josh about how good you are at badminton."
Your eyes widened slightly, and you noted the way Joshua's did the same. You made eye contact with Kevin as this happened. He seemed caught at a crossroads, unable to help or say anything. "I guess I'm okay at it."
"Liar," Kevin suddenly jumped in.
You sent him a look. Wait really?
He shrugged sheepishly. "I don't wanna downplay your abilities, dude. You're really good."
Oh. "Thanks, Kev," you said, blinking. Your heart warmed at the finger guns he sent your way. It was nice to know he had your back.
"Good! See? You and Josh should play doubles together." Your mother somehow got a racquet into your hand. She clapped her hands and ushered her two other children off their butts. "Come on, you two, you can be on Kevin's team."
"But that's not what doubles means, Mama—"
Joshua sidled up beside you with an apology in his smile. "Sorry, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I don't want you to be forced to teach me or anything."
Guilt wormed itself into your stomach. "No, no! It's totally okay," you amended swiftly. "This all just happened really quickly, but I'd be so down to teach you badminton, if you'd like."
He bobbed his head up and down, patting the netting of his racquet. "Okay, yeah. That'd be really cool actually."
You nodded, returning his expression. "Cool."
You and Joshua had somehow taken over the makeshift badminton court. The twins had gotten tired of the "big kids" playing too hard, and Kevin… actually, you didn't know why Kevin put down his racquet. But at some point, you noticed that he was just hanging out in a chair, sipping some kind of fruit juice as he observed you and Joshua. (That was what you assumed he was doing. There was a book propped open in his lap, but you hadn't seen him turn a page in a while. And he had put his sunglasses on, so you couldn't exactly see what his eyes were doing.)
You tracked the birdie as it flew over the net to your side. "Nice!" You praised, taking a few steps in the diagonal to hit the birdie back over with an easy backhand flick.
Joshua stumbled forward, but hit it back over. "Shoot," he said, barely catching himself before he crashed into the netting.
You chuckled, "Careful." You backed up and gave the birdie a gentle bump.
It sailed over the net, but it landed too close to it for Joshua to get a clean shot back over. He sighed as he bent down to pick the projectile up from the grass. "Dang. Nice hit, Yn."
Content with your shot as well, you walked over to the net to meet him. "Thanks, man."
"Hyungseo-ah!"
You watched as Kevin stood up from his chair at his mom's call. "Yeah, what's up?"
As she strolled over to him, she was reapplying sunscreen onto her arms and face. "We have more new neighbors. Since you're not doing anything, you should come and welcome them with me. There’s someone I think you should meet."
You and Kevin locked gazes for a second before he turned back to his mom. You didn't know why you kept looking at each other—this all felt like déjà vu, but maybe it was the fact that it seemed like your moms were separating you both instead of bringing you together that was throwing you off.
"Uhm, sure, Mom." He dropped his book into his seat and followed after his mom.
Your gaze trailed after him for a moment before you snapped back to reality. You swiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. "Sorry, where were we?"
Just then, Seokjin made his way down the lakeshore with baby Leena strapped to his chest again. He threw up an arm in greeting. "Hey, kids. You guys still at it?"
"Yup," you said back. "He's getting good at it!"
Joshua laughed lightly. "Ah, you flatter me. It's just 'cause Yn's a good teacher."
Seokjin's eyes flickered between the two of you. "Huh. I'm sure she is."
"Anyways," you coughed. "Did you just come from the new neighbor's house or something?" He hadn't arrived from the direction of his own house, which was on the other side of yours.
Your uncle by association gave his affirmative, one hand pressed gently on the back of his baby in his holster. "Of course! You know I'm too nosy to not have gone to introduce myself and see what's up. The couple has a girl around your age, Yn-ie. Their son is off in Paris for his job or something though."
The two men could probably see the gears in your brain turning. Another person who was around yours and Kevin's age? You really didn't want to read too much into it, but—you pushed the thought to the side. It probably wasn't what you were thinking, right?
"Uh, you good, Yn?" Joshua asked.
Your eyes shuttered. "Yeah. I was just thinking about something." You gestured with your racquet in a flourish. "How about another round?"
EPISODE FOUR: THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS DEAL™
THE crickets were particularly melodious tonight. Their chirrups became lovely background music as you perched on the stairs of your back porch beneath the warm glow of the outside light. Moths swarmed the bulb, casting little shadow puppets along the wooden deck.
You were hunched over one of the few books you brought along with you for the trip. Your siblings liked to tease you for bringing “school work” on a summer trip, but these had been purchased out of your own interest. It was an anthology of experiences related to animal behavior. The certain piece that had originally caught your eye had been about the Alaskan husky’s primal nature to run, and their participation in dog sled racing. You’d come across it originally in a magazine on an airplane, finding yourself enthralled in a story of the stamina, determination, and hard work that these dogs faced in the brutal Alaskan winters.
When your plane landed, you had gone online and found more stories like them. Thus, the book in your lap and money down the drain. (Though, you would argue that it was money well-spent.)
“Warm night out.”
You startled, heart galloping in your chest, as Kevin appeared in your periphery and stepped into the light.
To his credit, he took on a sheepish sort of grin. “Oops, sorry. Probably should have given a warning or something.”
You pressed a hand to your palpitating heart and scooted over to give him room to sit on the step next to you. “No, it’s all good. I don’t think there was really any way that you could have warned me.” You were probably way too deep into your book to have even noticed if he was any quieter.
He took a seat beside you, posture mimicking yours with his forearms pressed onto his knees. “You’re right,” he murmured. “Whatcha reading?” He asked while inclining his chin toward the pages in your lap.
“Oh.” You kept a couple fingers wedged between the pages you were on as you flipped to the cover to show him. “It’s just this, uhm, collection of stories on animal behavior. Real fascinating stuff, actually, and a lot of it is kind of inspirational.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, unsure of why you were always shy about telling people about something you were passionate about. You shouldn’t have thought so little of Kevin Moon, though. He never gave you any worries about being judged.
“Oh, that sounds neat,” he said, scooting closer. “Is it for your major? You’re still doing wildlife biology, right—or is it ecology?”
“Wildlife biology,” you confirmed. “It’s not for my major or anything, no. Just something I was interested in.”
A thought suddenly occurred to you and you were rewinding all of the things that had happened in the past couple of days. Before Kevin could comment further on the topic of majors, you piped up, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
His eyes widened a smidge, his posture straightening. “Oh? What about?”
You felt around the porch deck for the receipt you had been using as a makeshift bookmark, hand flopping around before you snatched it up and slipped it into the pages of your book. You set the book aside. “Is it just me, or are our moms… you know…”
“Doing the Thing again?” He finished. He sighed with a little grimace, “Yeah, I think I’m seeing it.”
The “Thing” that both you and Kevin were referring to was none other than the very act of matronly matchmaking taking place between you and the new kids on the block. At least you could confirm that you weren’t overthinking it.
You recalled the events of earlier today when Kevin and his mom had come back to where everyone else was with the new family that had just arrived. The Xus were another party of just three—their oldest son was in Paris, as Seokjin reported, but their youngest, Serena, was yours and Kevin's age. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who Kevin's mom wanted to introduce her son to.
“You know what’s crazy?” You said to him then, “On the car ride up here, I asked my mom—like, point-blank, you know?—to not try to matchmake us anymore.”
Kevin perked up. “Dude. That’s crazy, because that’s what I asked my mom on the car ride up here.”
You sputtered, “You’re kidding.”
“Great minds think alike,” he said, lip curling upward into a smile and his arms coming up in a halfhearted shrug. “But I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.”
Now that you were thinking back to your own conversation, you should have known something fishy was going on when your mom mentioned Kevin specifically… You only thought that she was being thorough in her understanding of what you were asking her to do, but turned out, it was only a loophole. “You’re so right,” you groaned and tilted your head backward. “Literally what are we gonna do?”
The two of you stewed in silence on this fine night.
There was one night, similar to this one, where you had sought each other out. You couldn’t remember what year it was—something close to sixth grade when both of you had the mind to realize the game your moms were trying to play. From that night came a pact of sorts, one that would hopefully try to steer each other away from a fate that neither of you were sure that you wanted yet. After all, eleven years old was a little premature to be talking about who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, right?
Kevin leaned back onto his palms. “We need to make a new pact, I think.”
Your head swiveled over to him. “Amendments to the pact?”
“Either amend it or come up with a new one to fit our current situation,” he said. “A rescue protocol.”
A rescue protocol… you could see it begin to take shape in your head. The previous pact was different—an agreement between you and Kevin that you were both simply friends, no matter how many times your moms made you do chores together, or tie each other’s shoelaces, or swap numbers and emails and social media. And it had worked, for the most part; you were both still friends after all these years.
But this time would have to be different. Your moms weren’t driving you toward each other anymore.
“The Rescue Protocol—is that what we’re calling it?” You mused in an attempt to bring mirth to the conversation.
Kevin made a sound like a laugh. “Better than ‘the pact,’ I like to think.”
“How about the ‘Damsel in Distress Deal?’”
He let out an actual laugh this time. You got to watch his eyes turn up into crescent moons, the corners crinkling with pretty smile lines. His smile was always contagious, even after all this time. “The ‘Damsel in Distress Deal?’” He parroted. When he allowed the phrase to soak into his brain for a second, tongue massaging his bottom lip, he relented. “Okay, that’s actually not bad.”
You giggled. “So we either call it the Rescue Protocol or the Damsel in Distress Deal, trademark.”
“Trademark?” His reaction sent you into a flurry of snickers, hand clamped over your mouth so the sounds wouldn’t wake up your family. “What? Are we gonna advertise this idea to people?” He chuckled.
“It’s a good idea!”
“We don’t even know what the parameters are yet,” he sputtered. Kevin lightly punched your upper arm. “Silly goose.”
“Geese are not silly,” you found yourself replying. They could be mean creatures. “But I think they’re cute.”
“Jacob thinks they’re scary.”
You gave a playful roll of your eyes. “This Jacob guy again?” After a moment, you sighed, toeing the dirt on the bottom step with the tip of your shoe. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
Kevin sobered a little, but the remnants of his merriment remained in the shine of his irises. “Shoot.”
“Are you…” You struggled to string the words together. There was a question you’d come up with already, but you didn’t know if it was too forward or not. “Are you ready for a relationship?”
The question caught him off guard. His gaze flickered from you, to the grass, to his lap, to the moon-soaked surface of the lake further down the hill. “I… I’m not sure, really,” he muttered, then added, “I think I would know the right person when I meet them.”
“Yeah,” you agreed.
“Or maybe not,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ve already met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but the relationship just hasn’t gotten there yet.”
You pondered on that for a moment, then realized you agreed with that, too. If you already met the person you were meant to be with, the thought of a relationship was a little less daunting. You already knew this person. “So we’re in agreement then? This new pact is something we both want?”
“As usual, we are in agreement,” he nodded. “What’s our plan then? Fight fire with fire?”
You snorted. “Pretty much, right? We just have to, you know, swoop in whenever we can to counteract their movements. Help each other out, y’know?” You laughed at how ridiculous this all sounded. “I guess it’s really just doing what they’ve wanted us to do this whole time.”
Kevin grinned to himself. “Spend time together?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m down for that. You?”
“Yeah, man.” You shifted to angle your body toward him and stuck your hand out. “You still remember it, right?”
Kevin sent you an incredulous look, as if offended that you could think so lowly of him. He reflected your angled body, hand primed and ready. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember it?”
You clicked your tongue. “Of course, I do! It's the seal."
You knocked the back of your hand against his to signal the beginning of the handshake.
Like second nature, the two of you made your way through the unnecessarily (but also completely necessary) convoluted masterpiece that was your sixth grade handshake. It was what you used the first time you sealed the deal on the pact, and whenever you made any other agreements of significance (e.g. the Juice Pouch Accord of Eighth Grade). Now, it would seal the Rescue Protocol/Damsel in Distress Deal, too.
When the handshake combination finished (marked by twin flicks to the forehead—"Ow! You always flick so hard.”; “Yikes, hope that doesn’t leave a mark…”—and a… proper handshake), the only thing left to do was put it into motion.
Teasing, you sent him a look of approval. “You did remember.”
“Funny how you say that as if you have the better memory out of the two of us,” he quipped back with an unimpressed look.
You hummed your own amusement back to him, taking the book that you’d set aside earlier back into your lap but leaving it unopened. There wasn’t any signal in this area, so devices were practically useless, so books and board games and sports became the go-to for entertainment. It was what your parents originally liked so much about the place, and eventually you and your siblings. It allowed for moments between the moments like this… whatever this was.
Kevin leaned back onto his palms again, and the shadows and moonlight cut across his jawline like glass. “I didn’t think you’d be up so late.”
“Yeah,” you drawled and picked at a strand of grass sticking out between the boards of a stair step. “I couldn’t sleep for some reason and decided to read, but then I opened my window and realized it was a nice night out, so here I am.” You nodded to him, “You?”
He gave a soft sort of chuckle. “You know I never sleep.”
Your chest felt heavy all of a sudden. “Still have the sleeping issue?” You asked softly. It had been a big thing when he was a kid. It had started off as being a very light sleeper, but over time, you discovered that sometimes Kevin just did not get sleep.
“Yeah…” he said, "I'm usually able to sleep when I'm here though, y'know? The peace, the quiet, the familiarity—it all helps. It was just tonight that was out of the ordinary." When he glanced over at you, the side of his lip quirked upward. "Don't worry too much."
You'd always thought about the lake as your home away from home, your safe space. A part of you had always thought it was the same way for him.
“How could I not worry?" You asked, poorly masking your concern as you leaned over your knees and looked at him. “How did you ever get used to your place at uni?” There must have been some reason that he was able to survive over there.
The corners of his mouth curled upward into a smile. “I was lucky,” he admitted. “I met people who have become some of my best friends and family. I guess it’s just weird being so far away from them and it's catching up to me.”
As much teasing as you did about this Jacob character, you were glad Kevin had found him and his other friends. Being away from home like that could not have been easy. At least you could rest assured that he was taken care of over there.
He had grown so comfortable over there that even his subconscious missed them.
You shifted a little closer to him and gently leaned your head onto his shoulder. He seemed surprised at first, but relaxed and let you keep your head there. “That’s good,” you whispered. “I’m happy for you.”
A beat passed, and the crazy thought occurred to you that maybe you should have asked to do this first. “Is this okay?”
His hand warmed the top of your head. “More than okay.”
The two of you sat there like that for however long—you couldn’t really tell. Time passed by differently here, it seemed. Friends definitely comforted each other like this though, right? Right.
EPISODE FIVE: [SHENANIGANS ENSUE.]
"KEVIN, would you mind giving this snack pack to Serena?"
"Oh, I got it, Auntie!" You snatched the Ziploc bag of trail mix from off the counter where Kevin's mom had set it out. "I haven't properly introduced myself to her yet," you said as some kind of explanation.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kevin look away to conceal his laugh at your inconspicuousness.
Today, the five families planned to go on a long nature hike as a large group. There was a specific path that your family, the Moons, and the Kims always took at least once every year that led out to a waterfall. It was a beautiful slice of nature, but then again, you thought this entire area was beautiful.
You swung out of the Moons' kitchen and out onto the back lawn where everyone was slowly gathering to take off. Eyes scanning the immediate area, you located Serena Xu standing off to the side plaiting her hair into a simple braid over her shoulder.
As you made your way over to her, your Uncle Jin suddenly appeared beside you. “You look like a woman on a mission, Yn-ie. What’s the sitch?”
Your brain took a second to register the reference. “Has Sana been watching Kim Possible or have you, Uncle?”
“And if I said it was both of us?” He sniffed. Sana was his eldest daughter, only three years old, but Jin and Yuna were very updated in the essential kids shows they wanted their daughters to watch.
“As you should,” you said with an indulgent nod. You turned your gaze over to your intended target.
Serena’s eyes wandered up from her hair and met your eyes, then glanced over at Jin. You hoped she didn’t think the two of you were ganging up on her or anything. Two new people at once could be intimidating.
“Hi, Serena, right?” You asked as you and Jin approached her.
She gave a small nod, pulling her braid’s end over her shoulder as she fidgeted with it. “Uh, yeah. And you’re Yn?”
“We already met yesterday,” Jin said chipperly.
Serena nodded again.
Your fingers danced along the edge of the Ziploc baggie in your hands, squeezing along the edge to make sure that it was closed properly. Your teeth ran over your bottom lip before you were passing her the bag in your hands. “Kevin’s mom made all of us snack bags, and I just wanted to say a proper hello.”
She accepted the bag, eyes wide as she inspected its contents through the clear plastic. “Oh, wow. Thank you; that’s really thoughtful.”
“Oh!” Seokjin illuminated like a lightbulb, clapping his hands loud enough to make both you and Serena wince. (You and she met each other’s eyes with awkward laughs.) “Didn’t you mention yesterday that you were pre-law?”
Your eyebrows flew upward. “Pre-law?” Your head bobbed up and down with a low whistle. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah, uh, I guess so,” she said. “It’s a little intimidating right now, if I’m being honest.”
“Yn!” Ripped out of the conversation, you excused yourself and found the source of your name. Your mom was perched on one of the picnic benches outside of the Moons’ place, slathering sunscreen on your brother’s face. Connor’s face was wrinkled in extreme displeasure as she patted the white cream into his skin with a slapping sound.
Always amusing.
Perched upon the picnic table next to them was none other than Joshua Hong. He sent you a friendly greeting wave.
“What’s up?” You asked, leaving Uncle Jin with Serena so you could make your way over to your chagrined little brother, your mom, and Joshua. “Where’s Dad and Alice? Hey Josh.”
He replied pleasantly, “Hey Yn.”
“Your dad’s grabbing something from the car with her,” she dismissed. “Would you mind showing Joshua where we put our bandages? We have so many of the little ones—”
“It’s just a little cut; I swear I’m fine!” Joshua chuckled good-naturedly. He showed you the slice in the side of his finger that was only a couple of centimeters long, but you could tell that he’d just recently cleaned it up and was holding it with a small piece of napkin.
Your mom made a noise of disagreement. “It’s going to get infected on the hike.”
You shuffled on your feet, offering him a small smile. “Sorry, man. I have to agree with her.”
“Thank you. You remember where the bandages are, right? You and Josh just go run up really quick together.”
You didn’t even realize when Kevin got here. “Oh, why don’t I just get one from my place for you?” Kevin waltzed into the conversation with an innocent expression, hands tucked into the pockets of his shorts, as he appeared at your side. “Since we’re just right here.”
Joshua gestured toward him with his hand-clutching-hand situation and hopped off from the picnic table top. “If you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, dude, it’s no problem.” Kevin’s hand met the place between your shoulders with a warm pat, and he led Joshua up to his family’s cabin for the bandages.
Your amusement followed after them as you watched them leave. Your mom sent you a curious look, eyes narrowed in question, and you could only shrug helplessly.
The hike commenced shortly after the boys got back from raiding the Moon’s medicine cabinet. Your dad and Alice returned sometime before they did, and Alice had once again requested you put her hair up in, as she said, “Something nice.” As if the wilderness would care about her nice hair-do, but you gave her a plait that matched Serena’s.
Your brother and sister kept near to you as you led the group through the beginning of the trail. Though you didn’t consider yourself as someone who exercised religiously, you never turned down a good foraging session. Your freshman environmental science course had presented you with plenty of opportunity to dive into the dense forest areas near the building. Even in the early reaches of the morning (8:30 morning labs were sometimes difficult to be disciplined about, but you were determined), when the fog clung to the forest floor and dew slipped down velvety oak leaves, you found yourself at peace.
At some point in time, Connor picked up a large fallen stick and used it as a hiking staff. “You shall not pass!” He declared after running a little ways ahead of you and mimicked the deepness of Gandolf’s voice.
You snorted as you passed by him and ruffled his hair. “Name the series that’s from and then we can talk, dude.”
“You’re never any fun!” Connor garbled, jogging after you.
You scoffed, pressing a hand against your chest in feigned offense. “I’m way more fun than you are,” you retorted.
“Okay, prove it! Make this more fun.”
“So you’re saying this hike isn’t fun?” You gasped.
Connor stabbed at the dirt path warn into the ground that weaved through the trees ahead for miles. It was by no means a challenging hike, just a lengthy one that required a bit of enthusiasm and endurance. “Well last time, you brought that thing—”
“Sugar water,” you supplied.
“—yeah, that one—and we caught butterflies!” Painted Lady butterflies were a common species of butterfly that was widespread among North America. Luckily, it hadn't been too difficult to find them.
“Woah, you guys caught butterflies last year? Without me?” Man, this guy was just everywhere today, you thought jokingly, as Kevin appeared on your other side with a boyish grin on his face. “That’s cool.”
“We didn’t catch them,” you corrected. It was more so a lure with the sugar water (a substitute for nectar), letting the kids see the insect up close, and then setting it free. You were no lepidopterologist—butterflies were cool, but no special interest of yours. “They just landed in my hand for a little. You should’ve been there to take pictures.”
Kevin hit the palm of hand against his forehead. “That’s what I forgot! I forgot to bring my camera on the hike.”
“Tsk tsk, what would your sister say now?” You chided playfully.
He pressed his lips together in a grimace. “Don’t bring her up—I can hear the echo of her voice as we speak.” To prove his point, he pressed his fingers to his temples, eyes fluttering closed, as if he really could hear his sister’s teasing from wherever she was.
You humored him with a laugh—
“Yn! I’m gonna climb that boulder!”
Okay, fun time was over. You tracked the sound of your brother’s voice, and with barely enough time to catch up to him, you set off the beaten path to follow. “Hey, you better be careful or Mom’s gonna put you on bedrest for the rest of the trip,” you chuckled as Kevin fell in step beside you. You said to him offhandedly, “Would you possibly mind…”
“Yeah, I got it.” He did a small jog over to the cluster of boulders your brother had begun to scale. Going bouldering wasn’t a new activity for you and your siblings, but you remembered that these ones were a little larger than your mom was usually comfortable with. You were grateful Kevin understood immediately.
He was already standing below where Connor was, playing along with whatever roleplay your brother had made up, all the while hovering in case he fell.
The rest of the party caught up to you at this point, and Alice, Uncle Jin, Sana, and even Josh converged upon the rock formation in a flurry of giggles and mirthful playtime. You observed the action with ill-concealed fondness for everyone there as they came together and helped one another climb to the topmost boulder as if it were the peak of Mount Everest. Something warmed within you at the sight.
On your left, Yuna, who was on Leena duty this morning, came to stand beside you. Some of the parents were pulling out cell phones to record all the chaos going on. “Why don’t you go up with them?” She asked, inclining her head to the rock formation.
Josh was just beckoning Kevin up with him, and you saw Kevin’s head turned back over his shoulder. When his eyes found yours, Kevin waved you over, too.
“I should,” you murmured in agreement.
Yuna hummed as she adjusted the little bonnet on Leena’s head. “You know, Kevin…” she began. You waited for her to finish, but she smiled instead, shaking her head. “Nevermind. Go have fun, you bean.”
You giggled at the nickname, then wasted little time going to join everyone else. You could probably ask her what she was going to say later.
The evening found the group of you gathered on the shady back lawn between yours and the Moons’ cabin for dinner once again. The Xus and Hongs had all retired to their own respective houses for downtime, so it would just be the three original families. You perched a little ways away on the back stairs of your house’s porch, a bowl of peelable tangerines in your lap. At your feet, you had rolled the edges of a brown paper bag you’d found beneath the sink to use as a disposal. All of the compostable waste you and everyone else produced while here would become great fertilizer and mulch. It was something you usually had your siblings help with, especially before you left the lake.
Kevin had his cap turned backwards as he made his way over to you in flip flops. “That seat taken?” He asked with a nod toward the board next to you.
Your eyebrows rose. “All yours.”
“Thanks,” he beamed, doing a silly waddle, then sitting down next to you. He reached into the bowl on your lap for an orange, and you moved the compost bag between your bodies. “Your mom was talking about Josh again,” he said as he dug his thumb into the skin of the tangerine. Its juices sprayed into the air and released its sweet fragrance.
“Why am I not surprised?” You sighed with a shake of his head. “You know, he’s really good with my siblings though.”
“Oh, is he?”
You shrugged, shoveling a tangerine half into your mouth. “Mm—yeah,” you said once you’d swallowed. “But you’re also good with my siblings. I dunno, it was just an observation.” Based on what you saw on the hike, you could confidently conclude that your siblings agreed with both Kevin and Josh. They were both friendly beyond means, easy on the eyes, kind on the soul.
Kevin didn’t say anything for a beat, and still didn’t say anything until he’d finished the orange in his hands and picked up a new one. “I hear he’s going into medicine. I have a friend who’s going into medicine.”
“Which one?” You asked, then joked, “Don’t tell me it’s Jacob now…”
When Kevin gave you a sheepish expression, you shook your head, “Okay, now I think you’re obsessed with this guy.” All the teasing was in good fun, of course.
“He’s just my soulmate,” he lamented with a hand draped over his forehead for added effect. “No biggie.”
“Damn,” you laughed. You popped a wedge of tangerine into your mouth, eyes going to the sky for a moment as you pondered on something. “So you say that when Jacob met his current girlfriend, it was because of you.”
“Yup.”
“So you set them up? You matchmade them?”
He nodded. “I’m very proud of myself, actually. I take credit for all of their milestones and anniversaries. I better be the Best Man at their wedding, and—”
“But you matchmade them; doesn’t that make you a hypocrite?”
Kevin’s speech came to an abrupt halt. You watched, in blatant amusement, as his face contorted and arranged itself in the five stages of grief. “Oh my god… I am a hypocrite.”
For a moment, you felt bad for laughing at his blanched expression. “It doesn’t make you a bad person,” you assured him.
“It makes me a hypocrite.” He hung his head, but shot back up just as quickly. “Okay, but wait! It’s different.”
“Do tell.”
“It’s different because Jacob never told me he didn’t want to be matchmade.” The calculations taking place in his head were as stark to you, the observer, as if he was working it out on a white board. His eyebrows knitted together. “Yeah. That’s the difference. Plus, that match was fully successful, and he ended up putting in a lot of the work himself by the end anyway.”
You bobbed your head in agreement. “Fair enough.”
Kevin settled his chin on his hand, eyes slicing back over to you. “Aren’t you a hypocrite, too, then?”
You blinked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His face said it all. “Jenna from fifth grade.”
Oh. It all came rushing back to you…
But before anything else could be commented on the matter (read: before you could go through your own miniature existential crisis like Kevin had), a presence appeared, squatting down between the two of you. “What—” Jin covered Leena’s ears as he sat down, “—is the mother-effing tea?”
You and Kevin immediately scooted over to make room for the uncle coming in hot. You moved the compost bag back to the other side of your leg.
Kevin chuckled. “You said ‘mother-effing.’”
“Aish,” he exhaled, wrinkling his nose up. “Yuna’s on relax mode right now and has two beers in her. I get a pass, okay? Now catch me up on all of the exciting stuff.”
You and Kevin traded glances. “What exciting stuff?”
Jin’s expression flattened into a deadpan. “Don’t be like that. You two have been so secretive lately; I wanna be let in on the secret stuff.”
“I don’t know if it’s necessarily a secret…” You drawled.
Kevin scratched the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Well, we’ve kind of figured out that our moms are trying to set us up with Josh and Serena instead of each other now.”
You didn't know what you were expecting Uncle Jin to reply, but he gave a nod. "Ah, I can see that." He sucked in a breath through his teeth, "Why did they suddenly go 360 on the two of you? It seems kind of out of left field."
"Well, we kind of asked them to stop trying to get us two together."
Jin hummed. "Yah, that makes sense. It all makes sense now." He made an old-man noise out of his throat as he shifted his position and the way that Leena rested on his chest. You and Kevin buckled down and hung off his words. "They probably only mean well, you know that, right? Right. But I can see that you both are still uneasy about that, and I get that, too. So—I'll tell you what.
"I'll help you guys out," he said. "I think they already know I'm nosy enough to butt in everywhere, so it shouldn't be a problem for me to… tch tch, y'know—" He gestured very indulgently with his hands, "—do my thing—am I making any sense? It's been a long day."
Another look passed between you and Kevin, then you both shared a laugh, relief making your postures relax and your grins widen. "No, we understand completely."
It seemed like you just gained an ally.
EPISODE SIX: CAN I BE A ROCK IN MY NEXT LIFE? THANKS.
THERE was a collection of jet skis that someone around the lake owned, and Kevin's parents would rent them out once every summer for everyone to use. Of course, it was mainly for the older kids and adults; thus, your siblings and the little Kims were banned from partaking in the festivities, much to your siblings' chagrin. It was for safety reasons that they were forced to find some other method of entertainment for the day.
You trudged your way down the path from the Kims' house to yours. In your hand, you wielded the light blue stick of baby sunscreen Seokjin asked you to fetch for his girls, but based on the fact that Leena, Sana, nor Yuna were even out here, it was safe to assume it was really for him.
Those who were participating in riding jet skis, and some who just wanted to watch and soak up the summer sun, were gathered somewhere between your house and the Moon house again. The two properties shared a single dock made of wood faded out from the sun and washed by the lake water. You could recall summer after summer running down the pier and cannonballing into the water.
"Hey! I got your sunscreen!" You hollered as you neared the group down by the water, raising the sunscreen stick up in the air.
The five or so heads turned toward you at the sound of your voice. You didn't miss Kevin's presence specifically, his arms sticking out from the life vest strapped to his chest. You did not deign to look further.
Jin raised his hand. "My Savior! Thanks, Yn-ie!"
You tossed the sunscreen down to him and he caught it between both of his hands before beginning to slather the cream all over his face.
You noted the last life vest sitting on the edge of the dock closest to land and made a beeline for it.
Just as you descended the hill, your mom appeared in your view with an empty plate in her hands, the bottom ringed in a translucent red liquid. "Yn, honey. Can you do me a huge favor and chop up the last watermelon? I didn't realize we would need more. Your dad and Kevin's dad are driving into town right now for some extra provisions and an extra large watermelon."
"Oh, sure." Your eyes skittered to the vest on the dock, but you realized slicing the watermelon wouldn't take too long.
You took the plate from your mom without further comment and began making your way up the hill to your house.
As you slid the door open, the sound of chatter carried from the living room floor. Eyes peered up from where they were seated, surrounding the coffee table on the floor. A colorful array of beads and string was strewn over the surface, and you came to a distinct conclusion as to where all the non-jet-skiers had gone.
"Hello everyone," you mused, closing the screen door behind you.
Josh was the first to say hello back. "Wanna join us? We're making friendship bracelets." He lifted the craft in his hands as if the beads and materials displayed weren't proof enough.
You leaned over the back of the couch. "Looks like fun! Maybe I will."
Outside by the lake, Kevin monitored the back door of your cabin for when you would make your way back out. He had been wanting to race you on a jet ski ever since the owners brought them over for everyone to use.
There were a grand total of five people surrounding the opening to the dock: Kevin and his mom, your mom, Jin, and Serena. Everyone except for the moms were strapped in lifejackets in preparation to board one of the two jet skis sitting in port.
"Huh," Jin said as he craned his head up in the direction Kevin's was in. "Wonder what's taking her so long."
"I'm sure she's just taking her time or something." Kevin pushed off of the post he was leaning against. "I'll go check up on her—"
“Oh, no-no-no! It’s okay,” your mom protested, her body already turn-tailed to head up to the house. Even Kevin’s mom made a gesture for him to stay put. “We’ll go check up on Yn.”
Kevin’s mom then gestured with her arm toward Serena, who had wandered off further down the dock to inspect one of the vehicles waiting in the water. “Why don’t you go help her with the jet ski?”
“And me!” Seokjin boisterously slung an arm around his cousin-in-law’s shoulders and swung him toward the entrance of the pier.
Kevin’s eyes went wide when he almost tumbled face-first into the hardwood. “Shit,” he sputtered. “Uh, Uncle Jin?”
“Yep?”
“That sounded fishy to you, too, right?”
Jin let out a laugh and patted Kevin’s shoulder in consolation. “Yep.”
“I feel like I haven’t seen you all afternoon.” The words left your mouth as you blocked the unforgiving golden hour sun with a hand to your forehead. The light at this time of day gleamed across the surface of the lake and gave the illusion of a molten pot of gold. You imagined swimming in it, dipping your toes into its warm innards from the end of the dock.
Kevin stood at the edge of the lake’s shoreline with his hair dried from a day of jet skiing, a fresh T-shirt over his chest and the lifejacket from earlier nowhere to be seen. That, along with the jet skis. Those had been returned a little over an hour ago. “We were off doing our separate things, I guess,” he said, his arms folded across his chest. “Speaking of, where’ve you been? You went to cut watermelon and never came back.” He added a small laugh to his words, hoping you wouldn’t think he was bothered by the fact that the two of you didn’t get to hang out on jet skis together.
“Oh, heh.” The sheepishness in your voice made him glance over at you. You didn’t know why you were suddenly getting so shy about it, but from the pocket of your shorts, you withdrew a small piece of beaded string, tied at the end in one of those fancy loops that were adjustable. You didn’t know how it was done; Joshua had done something with the end like magic. “Yuna, Josh, and the kids were all inside making friendship bracelets and they kind of roped me into it.”
“Ah.”
“This one’s for you,” you said, holding it out to him. It was a quirky piece with white block letter beads strung together next to acrylic star and pony beads. You’d scavenged a crescent moon somewhere amongst all the pandemonium, and it sat next to the letter N on the chain.
Kevin peered at you and his irises gleamed with the brilliance of golden hour. He frowned in joy, delicately accepting the chain from you with his bottom lip jutted out in a combination frown-pout. “You’re incredible,” he gushed as he inspected the little gift. “Dude, I’m honestly so touched. This is so cute.”
You broke out into a grin, your heart bursting with pride in your chest. “Glad it’s not cringy.”
“I’m offended for you,” he scoffed, aghast. “How could you think this is cringy?” It was probably a genuine question, but you kept silent as you watched him loop the end of the bracelet around his wrist and struggled to figure out how to tie off the end with one hand.
You stepped forward, and he stuck his hand out to you. “Shua showed me how this works,” you murmured, wracking your brain for the quick how-to Joshua showed with his own wrist. (You had been too confused to ask him to see it done again, and only nodded and smiled.)
“Shua?”
“Mm, yeah, apparently he makes a lot of friendship bracelets, especially for friends at school.” Your tongue stuck out of the corner of your mouth as you tried something and… “Ta-da!”
With the bracelet secured onto his wrist, Kevin beamed like a kid on Christmas, and held it up to show it to the setting sun. “It’s great—it’s perfect. Thank you, Yn.”
It was some sort of cosmic magic that corralled everyone back down to the shoreline again, but this time, with all of the kids and non-jet-skiers, as well. Another tradition that your party liked to share every year at the lake was rock-skipping. Perhaps it was more of just an activity than a tradition, but it was something that none of you failed to remember to do whenever you were up here. Since you were a kid, you had been practicing to hone your technique.
Your siblings and the Kims, especially, all ran up to the shoreline beside you and Kevin, and the search for the perfect throwing rock began. In the chaos of merriment and childlike glee, the lot of you trudged into the cooling water of the lake’s shallow shore.
“I know you just gave me the coolest friendship bracelet ever,” said Kevin from beside you as he sifted through the rocks beneath his flip flops, “but I hope you know that I’m gonna crush you this year.”
You snorted. “Okay, Kevin.”
“No, I’m serious!” You guffawed at the sight of his expression; he’d even stood up straight in the water, a pair of flat stones in either hand. “My friend YH!Yn—she’s an engineer, right—”
“Oh, so you’re gonna win by cheating?”
“Nuh-uh,” he rolled his eyes, unimpressed by your posturing. “She showed me this video online. You know Mark Rober? She’s a huge fan, but that’s besides the point. The point is that the video taught me the perfect technique to rock-skip.”
Something in you liked to think that was still cheating, but then again, neither of you had ever really established any ground rules to this, and certainly none about doing research. Your eyes narrowed. “Explain yourself.”
Kevin decided between one of the two rocks in his hands with a brief peek at both of them, before discarding the one in his left hand back into the water with an anticlimactic sploosh. “You’re supposed to launch the rock so it hits the surface of the water at a twenty-degree angle.”
Joshua trudged into the water near both you and Kevin with the sleeves of his plaid over-shirt rolled past his elbows. “I don’t even know what kind of rock to look for, and you guys are bringing trig into this?”
“Oh my god, don’t even get them started,” Jin grumbled from a handful of meters away from the three of you. He kicked through the shallow water with his eyes pinned to the ground in his own search for a rock to skip. “Yn almost gave me a black eye one year.”
“That was an accident and I was ten!”
“Yeah, well rocks hurt!”
Joshua bent down slightly and scooped up a rock from the water. He considered it for a minute, taking in its size, its weight, and how pretty it was. “I guess this can work. So do you guys have, like, a training boot camp for beginners or something?” He chuckled.
“I can show you,” you offered once you’d decided on your own rock for the first round.
“Tch,” Kevin huffed, “if you wanna show him the wrong way to do it.”
Your jaw unhinged. “If you keep this up, I will take back that friendship bracelet, Moon Hyungseo.”
Jin covered his mouth with one of his hands and sidled up next to Joshua. “Ooh, she used the government name.” That coaxed another laugh out of the Los Angeles boy.
Kevin held his decorated wrist to his chest. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”
Suffice to say that when it came down to it, Kevin did have the better technique. There were really four main things to consider when rock-skipping, one of them being that the rock ideally should hit the water at twenty-degrees, as Kevin had mentioned before. Though, you did have to give yourself some credit for managing to work your way up to thirteen skips in a row without the help of an engineer friend.
EPISODE SEVEN: ALWAYS TREAT YOUR PLANTS WITH CARE
VACATION granted you the express permission to be the laziest bum in the world. After three years of college work, sometimes it was nice to have even a single day to yourself to do what you always wanted to: relax. In a world that moved as fast as this one, it was nearly impossible to take breaks without feeling the aching guilt of a day without productivity.
But there was something about the lake… you didn't know. Maybe it was just because years of coming here and associating it with the ease and carefree air of childhood that made it easier to sleep in and feel the sun on your toes.
The house and the neighboring ones were quiet this late morning. At ten or so, the Kims had swept up your siblings and their children and towed them off to town for ice cream and provisions. (You hoped they remembered to grab you some bird seed. You still had yet to replenish the bird feeders around the lake.) You weren't sure where your parents were off to, but you recalled them briefly mentioning a visit to the hidden swing at Lookout's Peak about a three mile hike from here. That meant that you had the whole house to yourself.
And what else did that mean? That you would not be in the house.
When it hit noon, you ate a quick lunch at the kitchen counter before gathering up your supplies to head outside. There was always a spare picnic blanket stashed in the hallway closet, and you grabbed a book, your neglected sketchbook, and a pencil to come along with you.
The weather was perfect, you liked to think—temperate, and not popsicle-melting, with a hint of a breeze wafting through the boughs of the oak trees. You trudged your way over to the largest oak tree with the most amount of shade, gunning to get some full relaxing done when you realized that you were not as alone as you thought you were.
You and Kevin locked eyes from where he sat against the trunk of the tree, his iPad left at his side and his camera being fiddled with between his fingers. The friendship bracelet you gave him the other day still hung around his wrist.
"Hi," he grinned. "I thought you went into town with the twins."
"Ah, nah" you sighed pleasantly as you shifted the things in your arms, "I decided to sleep in. You?"
"Same here." He amended, "Well, as much as someone like me can sleep in." He gestured to the picnic blanket bundled over your arm. "How about I help you with that?"
With teamwork (because that made the dream work), the two of you laid out the picnic blanket on the shady grass beneath the oak tree, overlooking the view of the lake. You settled yourself atop it while Kevin moved his things beside you; shoes were discarded at the edge, so you both sat comfortably on the blanket, half-facing the other.
You reached for your sketchbook, inclining your chin toward the DSLR now sitting abandoned as he picked up his iPad. "What were you up to before I got here?"
"Oh, uh, just looking through some photos I took this morning to maybe use as a reference," he said, twirling his Apple pencil between his fingers. "I keep forgetting to take pictures on this trip."
"Maybe it's a good thing," you offered. You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and flipped to a blank page. "Let's you live in the moment, y'know?"
"Yeah. I guess so." He tapped the end of his pencil against his cheek. You were never the type for fancy technology and equipment, mainly because you were a little stubborn, but nothing could beat a good pencil and paper. "I'm gonna draw you," he suddenly declared.
A giggle bubbled out of your chest. "What? Me?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"Well then, I'm gonna draw you."
His eyebrows shot up, an amused smile worming onto his face. "You do you, honey."
The two of you, coincidentally, came to share quite the handful of interests. One of them was sketching, and you liked to give credit to your ecology and biology classes at school that gave you the time to practice your drawing skills, even if super accurate drawings weren't always required. It just gave you an excuse to combine two things you loved.
You never did pick up how to use a DSLR though. At least, not like Kevin knew how to.
You sat there for a moment with your cheek to your fist and your eyes glued to the man across from you. Drawing people was difficult—it was always the subtle details that threw you overboard, the movement of the hands and fingers, the crevices in the wrinkle of one's eyes, the… the look. The thing that made them look like a human being.
Kevin had always been a beautiful subject matter. His bone structure was near perfect in your eyes; his smile was awful to draw just because it was so pretty, and you couldn't do it justice. You could never achieve the right curl of his lips, or infuse it with his humility. And even now, you watched the way his eyelashes fell so gently over his eyes and the dusting of pink falling across his cheekbones…
"You're staring."
You blinked, breaking out of your daze. "I'm studying my subject," you clarified pointedly and began to sketch out a rough outline of his head. A portrait would do just fine for the day.
Kevin mimicked your position from earlier where he leaned in slightly and rested his cheek against his fist. "There was this internship I turned down this summer."
His words made you glance up from your paper for a moment.
He continued on, straightening, then absentmindedly sketching out an outline for your face. "It was supposed to be in New York, at this studio, but…" He blew air out between his lips, "I don't know; I couldn't do it. It was a great opportunity and it didn't call to me, but I feel so guilty about not even trying."
You waited a beat in case he wanted to continue. You could see the conflict warring across this face, the subtle flex in his jaw at his frustration—with the portrait or himself, you weren't sure.
"Sorry, I don't know why I suddenly just thought of that," he said to you. "I was just thinking about this place and not being here last year, and I think my brain just went to that."
You looked over at him in earnest. "I feel you, I mean… some things just aren't meant to be, and you shouldn't force it. That's how you get burnt out, y'know?"
"Yeah," he murmured in agreement.
"I was looking at an internship, too," you piped up with a shape exhale. "I—I didn't get it, clearly, but uhm…" It still hurt.
Kevin frowned. "Oh, man. I'm sorry, Yn. I feel like I'm just complaining now that—"
"No, oh my gosh, no!" You hurried to interrupt him. "Don't be silly," you said gently, "you shouldn't invalidate your feelings like that. Some things just really aren't meant to be." It didn't mean it hurt any less that they weren't, but maybe this was the path you were meant to take instead. "It's something I'm coming to terms with, too, but don't compare your troubles against mine. Please."
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, and it took him a little to finally try for a half smile. "You're gonna get the next one."
You smiled back at him. "Thanks. And you'll find one that suits you."
"I hope so."
"Do you ever worry about," you began as you played around with the slightest curve of his nose on your paper, "not being who people want you to be?"
He hummed. "What do you mean?"
"Like, successful. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this." You didn't know where this had sprouted from in the first place, but one insecurity in particular had nested in the inner cavities of your chest and made itself a home. As someone who wanted to be at wildlife encampments, not catering to fancy rich dogs in a clinic, your path wasn't conventional. You were becoming a veterinarian, but your parents always thought you would end up someplace nice with a pay that was equally nice. Something practical, something they didn't have to worry over. Your calling was… elsewhere though. Somewhere a little more difficult to reach without the prying eyes and mouths of those around you.
Kevin marinated on it. "I think… the two of us are kind of similar in that way. We're both not taking on things that people have expected of us."
Out of everyone you knew, you had a feeling he would be one of the few who could empathize. "There's—there's this thing I want to do," you said. You couldn't figure out the words to string your thoughts into coherent speech; you felt like it would never come out right. But Kevin was patient. "I've always wanted to go on safari expeditions, and observe wildlife in the wild, and do research, and work with conservatories. It feels so unattainable sometimes, when I think about the people looking at me and expecting something good. Does that make sense?"
He gave a thoughtful nod, his Apple pencil tucked behind his ear for the time being. "Yeah, that makes sense. I remember you talked about it before."
That rang a bell. "When I made you watch the David Attenborough Our Planet doc series," you mused. In association, your brain sparked images of late nights, blue-light screens, and flashlights beneath blanket forts. You had been fully convinced Kevin would say the documentary series would be boring like everyone else, but to your pleasant surprise, he had been just as enthralled as you'd been.
"You didn't make me," he smiled. "I liked it."
Your chest warmed. "I still have it downloaded on my phone if you wanna watch."
He screwed his face up in amusement, shaking his head. "You're one of the biggest dorks I know. And I know so many dorks now."
"I'm still your favorite dork though, right?" You smiled down at your paper when you were satisfied with how his eyes turned out.
"Always."
A beat passed, and from your periphery, you saw him tap the blanket in front of you to get your attention.
"Hey, you're gonna be okay," he said. "One day, you will go hide in a bunker in the Siberian winter to wait for tigers like a crazy person—"
"Okay, wait, out of all the examples you watched in the doc, you chose—"
"Anyways!" He grinned at the look you sent him, unfazed. "We're both gonna be okay, alright? We're chasing dreams, and sometimes the chase is hard, but the reward is sweet."
You knew he was right; of course he was right. Talking things out was always a good idea, especially with a trusted person, and who better to trust than Kevin Moon? You had friends who understood, but not really understood.
You reached for his pencil with the end of yours and you bumped ends like ET. The corners of your lips curled upward as you met his gaze, and you were struck by the softness in his rich, chocolate irises. No sketch, painting, portrait could do those beautiful eyes justice. "Don't call me a nerd for this."
"No promises."
You fixed him with a look. "There's this thing that plants do called phototropism. Because plants need light to synthesize into food and energy, they often turn and grow towards the nearest light source. So even in, let's say, a dark hole in the ground—if there's a crack in the roof that brings light in, the plant will grow in that direction, and probably grow its way out." You cleared your throat. "Thanks for showing me the light."
Kevin's eyes shone big and wide, doe-like you liked to say, almost in awe of the explanation of a basic function plants performed to survive. But twisted in a certain way, and one could apply it to everyday non-plant life, as well.
"Now how can I possibly call you a nerd after that?" His voice went raspy and he had to clear it, too. "I think I'm getting misty-eyed," he said, fanning his eyes.
You chuckled at his antics. "Oh, hush. I guess it's my way of saying thanks for reminding me I'm not gonna be a failure." It was scary how often you thought about it, especially at college.
Kevin reached over and warmed one of your hands with his. "You're not gonna be a failure, Yn. I promise you that."
All of the kids were asleep in the back of the Kims' minivan, and it took two trips back and forth between the car and the living room to transfer all four sleeping munchkins. By the time Jin and Yuna were done, the former was certain he was going to need a cane much earlier in his life than previously anticipated.
He held his back as they made their way out onto the back porch. "I think I'm aging faster," he said to his partner.
Yuna sputtered out a laugh. "Aye, so dramatic, and for what? You're gonna survive."
"No sympathy," he sighed melodramatically as he hung off her frame. "I wonder where everyone else is."
His voice trailed off as they stood on the porch and overlooked the valley below. Just further out, they could easily see the occupants of the big oak tree between yours and the Moons' houses. You and Kevin sat slightly angled toward one another, not quite sitting next to each other, but not quite facing each other either.
The laughter was apparent on your faces as Kevin showed you something on his iPad. You grabbed the screen with ill-concealed delight, your eyes lighting up like a pair of fireflies. "No, oh my god, the little sprout on top of my head! You didn't!"
Yuna murmured softly to her lover with a chuckle, "Should we go say hello?"
Seokjin adjusted his position so now his arm rested around her shoulders. A smile etched onto his face at the view; he was so fond of the very thing neither you nor Kevin could see just yet. "Well, how could you possibly want to break that up?"
EPISODE EIGHT: NOD AND SMILE… YUP.
YOU weren't really sure why it took so long before you all deigned to take a proper dip in the lake, but as they said, better late than never.
The sun beat down on the little lake population, even at ten in the morning, which made it perfect weather to go swimming. Your house was a-bustle with life, thunderous footsteps, and motherly yelling to her children of “You better all have sunscreen on!” You were just finishing up the task yourself, rubbing in the last handprint of sunblock onto your calf before you were grabbing your towel at the end of your bed and heading out.
You caught Alice coming down the stairs with her floral one-piece on and a set of blue goggles strapped to her head. This morning, her hair was in two braids. “Do you have sunscreen on?” You asked her as you opened the back screen door.
“Yes,” she groaned as if this was the hundredth time she’d been asked that question today. Knowing your family, it probably was the hundredth time. “Do we still have the flamingo floatie?”
“We can probably pop down to the shed and see,” you suggested. You blinked in surprise at the person you found leaning against the railing of your back porch. “Why hello there.”
Joshua glanced up from the piece of string in his hands that he had tied at the ends to form one, large ring. “Hi guys! Either of you ladies know how to play Cat’s Cradle?” His hands slipped in between the string so that the ring rested on the backs of his fingers. In a movement that sent a wave of nostalgia down your spine, he maneuvered his hands through the string to form the zigzag pattern correspondent with the beloved childhood game.
“Ooh! Me, me!” Alice bounced around on the balls of her feet and rushed over to where Josh was to pick out the next pattern.
The screen door behind you opened up again as soon as you stepped foot onto the deck. Your dad appeared with your little brother, both of whom were dressed in rash guards and swim trunks. Your dad hustled his son along. “Yn-ah, we’re going down to the shed to get swimming things. Wanna come?”
“Wait, Daddy, can we get the flamingo floatie?” Alice asked your dad. Joshua finished up the next pattern, and your sister was quick to grab the next.
“Sure. We have to go now, though.”
With little else left to say or do, your dad ferried your little siblings off and around the house to where the shed was. It was tucked out of the way somewhere between your house and the Kims’ place.
You sidled up beside Joshua and slung your towel over your shoulder, noting his tank top and shorts. “You going for a swim with us?”
He gestured to his attire, nodding. “Seems like it. My parents wanted to run into town to do some shopping, see the sights. Your mom mentioned last night that you all were planning to go swimming today, so I thought I’d tag along, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, man—it’s totally cool.”
You gazed far out toward the lake down the lawn. There were already a few people there, including Kevin and the Kims. Sana and Leena were already frolicking around in the water with their dad, while Yuna and Kevin stood off to the side on the dock. It seemed that Yuna had brought down a pair of foldable chairs to set up there, perhaps to soak up a little sun.
The two of them exchanged a couple more words before Yuna left him there so she could go pick up Leena from falling face-first in the water. Leena was still an infant, after all.
You decided that this would be a good time to run and join him, but your thoughts slowed to a halt when Kevin picked up the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. You even heard Joshua beside you lose his breath. The sunlight had to be a paid actor or something, because the way it glowed across your friend’s shoulders, enunciating the firm muscles in his back, had to be illegal in nature.
Joshua’s low whistle of appreciation met your ears. “Wow… he’s ripped.”
You nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah.” Whoops, did you say that out loud?
The man simply chuckled and bounded down the porch. “C’mon, Yn. Let’s go join them before he catches you staring.”
If there was anything else that you and Kevin took seriously besides rock-skipping, it was the game Marco Polo. The rules were simple: an elected tagger would play with their eyes closed, yelling out “Marco” in order to locate other players in the water. The tagger had three or five opportunities to open their eyes (this was enforced for safety reasons) in order to tag everyone. Those who were not the tagger were required to reply with “Polo” in response to the tagger’s call.
Boundaries of the game ranged from your house to Kevin’s house, and no hiding beneath the dock. (Only the tagger could pass beneath that zone.)
By the time it was Kevin’s turn to tag, nearly an hour and a half had gone by, and you could feel the sun’s rays seeping into you. The heat was getting to you, and by the looks on everyone else’s faces, it was getting to them, too. But… one last round never hurt anybody.
"Are you guys ready?" Kevin's mom stood on the dock with her hands on her son's shoulders. Kevin's eyes were screwed shut where he sat on the edge of the dock, his feet swinging where they dangled over the water. Everyone stood scattered in the water, biding their time before Kevin's mom let him hop in.
She surveyed the surrounding water for nods of confirmation. You lingered just at the outer edge of the boundary, face half in the water with your eyes peeking out to hide your smile. You would swim back in should he come this way, but the buoy behind you kept you from cheating.
When she was satisfied with what she saw, she patted him on the shoulders. "Okay, Kevin."
He lowered himself into the water. "Marco!"
"Polo," came the wary response, a voice from every corner and reach of the boundary, it seemed.
He honed in on a voice—not yours, it seemed, but Uncle Jin's—and slowly treaded over toward that direction. You saw your uncle's eyes widen in fear, and he ducked under the water for a swift second to attempt at a silent getaway.
"I can hear you," Kevin chuckled as he swung his arm over his head to adopt a freestyle stroke. The tone of his voice sounded awfully menacing.
"YAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jin screeched, no longer trying to stay quiet.
One by one, Kevin picked people off. Yuna had a little disadvantage since she had Sana clinging to her back the whole time, so she was given a merciful second life. But when she was caught once more, it was onto dry land for her and her daughter.
Kevin treaded water on the other side of the boundary. In the water, it was just you two.
"Fighting, Yn-ie!" Jin cheered from the shore. A towel was draped over his shoulders with Sana sucking on a watermelon by his leg.
You saw your siblings and Josh raise up their fists in encouragement. "Get him, Yn!"
"Wow, thanks guys," Kevin replied dryly, shaking the water out of his hair. His eyes were miraculously still closed; you had no idea how and when he got so good at this. He still had one more opportunity to open his eyes.
You grinned. "Are you sure you're not cheating by the way?" You drawled with a feigned look of consideration, as if he could see what you looked like.
He gasped. "Me? Cheating? My abilities are far greater than the need to cheat."
"Okay, prove it."
Why did the universe curse you with such a big fucking mouth?
A swear left you as he launched himself across the safe zone. It was like he knew exactly where you had been hovering in order to reach his ridiculously long arms over his head to try and tag you. You gunned out of the way, narrowly missing the dock as you backstroked back from where he came to avoid him.
"Marco!"
"Screw you—polo!"
His white teeth glistened as he grinned, eyes closed completely shut still. Damn. "I can smell fear."
"Sometimes you can be so dramatic," you taunted.
"Now that's just hurtful." And he took it personally.
Around and around you both went, lakewater thrashing as your arms and legs kicked and pumped as hard as you could. You felt so agile and free at times, a dolphin in your own right.
There was a lull in the game for a minute when you managed to evade Kevin's grasp yet another time. He was patrolling the other side of the dock while you loitered just around the corner, by a post. You could hear on land that everyone had turned their attention away from yours and Kevin's competitiveness in favor of the bag tossing boards Kevin's dad brought out.
"Oh, Yn," he smiled, brushing a hand through his hair absentmindedly. "I'm gonna get ya."
If you weren't worried about being so close to him, you would have thrown a retort right back.
But there was another poor, poor hinge to your plan, and that was the very core of the game you were playing.
He whispered, "Marco."
You screamed internally. "Polo," you whispered, barely audibly.
His head whipped in your direction, and before you could even blink, he used his shortcut beneath the dock to yank your wrist back toward him. "Gotcha!"
"Goddamn it," you groaned as you rested up against the post behind you. The water in this area was just shallow enough that your feet could reach the bottom.
Kevin chuckled as he finally opened his eyes. He blinked feverishly to adjust to the sunlight, then ran a hand through his slicked-back hair. He was so close that you could see the water droplets on his head dribble down the sharp slope of his nose. He took in his surroundings, a sly kind of smirk curling up onto his face. "No hiding beneath the dock, Yn."
"I technically wasn't beneath the dock," you shot back.
"Mhm," he pressed his lips together, brows furrowing. He moved closer and braced one arm against the post above your head. "Say I believe you."
You brushed the sudden butterflies in your stomach away as the heat melted your brain (and not Kevin). "That sounds like you don't believe me."
"Well, either way…" He brought a finger close to your face and tapped your nose. You could have sworn you saw his eyes dart downwards for a second, away from your eyes, toward your mouth. "I win."
EPISODE NINE: KINDLING FOR ALL KINDS OF FIRES
A campfire was always in order.
There were quite a few things that needed to be done before it could happen, however. One of the few things on the list just happened to be going out to find firewood, as well as filling up the bird feeders you left hanging out in the forest beyond. You could kill two birds with one stone. (Definitely not literally though. You hoped you never needed to kill two birds with one stone unless it was for pure survival purposes.)
The bird seed you'd requested to be brought back was… somewhere around here. You couldn't remember where exactly Auntie Yuna said they put the bag, but you would go hunting for it.
You meandered through the first floor of your lake cabin, gradually approaching the kitchen area where you heard voices. As far as you were aware, your parents were holed up in the kitchen with Kevin’s parents, as well as Kevin himself. Your siblings were probably either upstairs or at the Kims’ place. Probably.
“—know Judy’s daughter, right?” You recognized your mom’s voice among the fray. By this time, you stood in the middle of the living room with your hands on your hips. Where in the world was that sneaky bag of bird seed?
Kevin’s mom replied next, “Ah, she’s doing that drawing major or something, right? I forgot what it’s called—”
“Animation,” supplied her husband.
“Yes, that’s the one.” A clinking of metal on china; they were most likely digging into the trifle cake that was assembled earlier in the day.
“I hear there’s something going on and it’s getting more difficult to find work for them.”
A disgruntled sound. “Yah. That's the risk that comes with those art majors. If she had gone into bioengineering like Judy wanted her to, then she wouldn’t be worrying so much.”
You paused from your position in the living room. From your vantage point, you got a clear view into only part of the kitchen, but it was where Kevin lingered with his back to one of the cabinets. He had a bowl of dessert in one hand, the other using the tines of his fork to prod at a bite of cream and cake. His head was tilted down though, and you caught his periodic glances toward the part of the kitchen you couldn’t see where the adults probably were, prattling on and on as if he weren’t standing right there.
Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach.
Why was he subjecting himself to this? Why didn’t he just pick himself up and leave—? The thought came to you that maybe he thought he deserved to hear this.
Having surveyed the living room enough to know that the bird seed wasn’t here, you did happen to note the presence of his camera sitting on the coffee table. You snatched the device up and headed for the kitchen.
“I think it’s good to cultivate creativity, but there’s a difference between a career and hobbies—”
“Psst.” You grappled onto the side of the doorway, quietly catching Kevin’s attention.
His head perked up at the sound and his eyebrows shot up in question. He offered the bowl in his hands to you. Want some? He mouthed.
You shook your head, then used your free hand to wave him over. Bird seed?
He seemed to understand. With one, massive bite, he finished the rest of his bowl, deposited it in the kitchen sink, then quietly slipped out of the room with you.
When the two of you were in the clear and you were following him over to the closet beneath the stairs (damn, had you really forgotten that this closet existed?), you handed him his camera. “I’m invoking rescue protocol,” you told him.
Kevin accepted his camera with a furrowed brow, watching as you opened up the closet door and found a canvas sack of birdseed sitting there. Huzzah! “Wait, but…” He considered you for a moment, and a slow smile slid onto his face. He ducked his head and threw his camera strap around his neck. “I appreciate you. Have I told you that?”
“And I—” You grunted as you picked the bag up into your arms and used your foot to kick the door closed. “—appreciate you. How’d you know this was where the bird seed was?”
“I just remembered what Uncle Jin said,” he told you with a shrug.
The two of you meandered out of the backdoor and onto the porch in a silent agreement to go fill some bird feeders together. The forest at this time of day was streaked in golden sunlight, emerald green leaves painted over in an amber wash of glitter. It felt warm and comfortable like autumn, but with the color palette of summer. The air was fresh, not crisp, and there was still a dollop of pollen floating around in the air from the tailend of spring.
You and Kevin entered the forest proper, and you shifted the bag into your right hand when you finally got the bag’s handles up and at ‘em. “I know the protocol wasn’t meant for those kinds of situations,” you started.
Kevin let his camera rest in his hands at midriff once he had fiddled with the settings enough to his liking. “I know.”
“They’re wrong, you know?” You turned to look at him as you stopped at the first feeder and let the sack of seed and grain fall to your feet with a thump against the earth. Before you opened up the bag, however, you peered up into the wooden house hanging from the branch, slobbered in messy paints and melting smiley faces. There wasn’t a speck of grain or seed left in this one. Satisfied, you bent down to rip the bag open and take out a scoop with your hands.
The shutter of a camera lens fired. He sighed, lowering the camera so he could inspect the test shot he took. “I’ve come to terms with that—all of their opinions, I mean.” He lifted the viewfinder back up to his eye and took another shot as you shoveled the bird seed into the hole. A small stream of it missed and tumbled to the forest floor. “Sometimes I do think like that, though. Whether or not I should have stuck with psychology and become a teacher instead of photography.”
You folded the edge of the bag over itself after dusting your hands off, and the two of you continued onward. “Are you happy with photography though? Do you like the things you’re learning, the work you’re doing?” That was one of the few metrics that kept you clinging onto your dreams—your hands were getting scraped and sweaty holding onto the side of the cliff face, but even though your shoe slipped against the ledge and threatened a long drop, you held on. Some days, you thought it was a sad, desperate effort; others, you found extra strength to dig your soles in.
He didn’t have to think much before answering. “Yeah, I do. It’s… it’s fulfilling.” He shot you a glance. “I guess it’s something I enjoy so much that most days it doesn’t even feel like work. All of the logistic, ‘real world,’ adult stuff is kind of a headache, but…” Even though his sentence trailed off, you could still follow.
You plopped the sack of seed down on the ground beneath the next bird feeder. “I know that it’s hard to think about what-ifs, and I’m kind of a hypocrite about it, too—but I think—” you scooped up a handful of bird seed and poured it into the opening. This house had a little sunshine painted on the roof. “—Kevin, I think you made the right choice. Obviously, it shouldn’t matter what I think; that’s just what I’ve observed so far.”
“It matters what you think,” he replied quietly. “To me, at least.”
The two of you shared a smile as you dusted your hands off again. The chase is hard, but the reward is sweet—those had been his words to you the other day.
“Do you want me to carry that for you?” He mused, in view of your struggle to pick the damn thing off the ground.
You suddenly gained a spurt of strength and energy. “I’m—great.”
His low chuckle followed you as you went. You could hear his shutter go off again.
“Thank you for assuring me that I took the right risk.” Kevin fell into step beside you once more with his camera cradled in his hands. There was a softness to his eyes again, a kind of tenderness you recognized only when it was just the two of you.
You went for a smile. “I feel you, you know? Maybe not on the same level, but you’re not in crisis alone, okay?”
His shoulder bumped against yours. “Get on my level,” he jested.
Your smile haplessly curled up further. “Yeah, yeah, you five year old.” You leaned over his arm to peer at his camera screen. Your heart hammered, blood spiking, when you saw what the subject of all his shots had been thus far. “Oh my god, have you been taking pictures of me?”
He giggled at your reaction. "What? What else am I supposed to be taking pictures of?"
"Uhm?" You gestured with your arm in a wide arc. "There is literally a whole world around us. Nature is much more photogenic than I am." A nervous laugh bubbled out of your chest as you adjusted a lock of hair that had gotten in your face.
"You are totally photogenic," he scoffed. "Literally look."
The two of you stopped in the middle of the path so he could show you the pictures he had taken thus far. Like most people when they saw a picture of themselves, you wanted to grimace, but you tried to search for what Kevin was seeing.
They were all incredible candid shots. The color was so vivid and bright, the edges crisp and focused. He had captured you at the moment when you were smiling, peeking into the bird feeder. It was that split second before the smile bloomed into something bigger when it only teased at the corner of your mouth.
You leaned back and coughed. "I only look good because you made me look good."
"Now that's bullshit."
You both resumed your walk to the next bird feeder. He said to you, "You can't possibly appreciate nature's beauty without appreciating your own, Yn."
You tilted your head and sent him a sidelong glance. "Why did that sound actually profound?"
"What do you mean actually profound?" His face arranged into an expression of offense. "Am I not regularly profound?"
You smiled to yourself. "I mean… if you had to ask—" Click! "Hey, now wait a minute!"
He beamed something boyish at you from over his camera lens. "Whoops?"
The bird seed bag thumped onto the forest floor again and you moved to check the inside of the next bird feeder. To your utter delight, you were greeted by the sight of sticks and mud and leaves slotted together in a messy riffraff, otherwise known as a bird's nest. You could hear the bright chirping coming out from the feeder's hole, and dark gray feathers poked out.
"We won't disturb these ones," you whispered, backing away to collect your bird seed. But before you left, you took a little of the grain to sprinkle on the outer landing ledge.
You didn't even realize you had been smiling out of pure giddiness until you reached the next feeder on the path. You had always secretly hoped that a bird would take over one of the houses as their own. Lo and behold, that hope manifested into reality.
Kevin helped you out with the next one since this tree was hung with a duplex. It was similar to a human duplex; the house was split down the middle to hold double the feed. The two of you carefully transferred seed and grain into its proper place.
"If you really are uncomfortable with me taking pictures of you," he said as the two of you picked up where you left off, "then I can totally delete them." He made a gesture with his hand. "No harm, no foul."
Heat rose to your cheeks. "It doesn't bother me that much," you admitted sheepishly. "They were good pictures."
"See!" Elated, he slung an arm around your shoulders and tugged you against his side with an affectionate shake. "You see the vision? Do you see it now?"
You couldn't possibly say no to him when his expression was brighter than the sun at high noon. At this moment—this perfect moment—when the sunlight streaming through the trees painted his face in a filter of buttery gold… you could definitely see the vision, but perhaps not the exact one he saw.
EPISODE TEN: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES…
"OH, thank god, you guys went and got firewood!" Jin pressed his hands together in prayer as he jogged over to you and helped transfer the lumber in your arms over to his. On your way back from replenishing the bird feed, you let Kevin hold the remainder of what was left in the bag while you picked up any spare tinder for the fire. There were quite a few loose sticks around that would work nicely for the campfire tonight.
He walked off with your gatherings from the trip, and you and Kevin continued up to your lake house to drop off the bag of bird seed.
"So you were saying about the animal representation thing?" You piped up, recalling where the two of you last ended before your return to home base.
"Oh!" Kevin grinned. "It's so funny because some of my friends—you can totally see the resemblance of an animal, right? But then others don't really get an animal. Like Younghoon: he's just kind of bread."
You nearly tripped over a patch of dirt. "Bread?" You stammered incredulously. "Come again?"
"Bread," he nodded. He murmured in thanks to you when you slid open the screen door for him so he could shuck off his shoes and step inside the house. "But Changmin's a squirrel. Or a giraffe. That's what JC!Yn calls him, anyway; it's because of his long neck."
"Huh," you pondered. Interesting friend group they had going on there. You wondered what you would be…
As you passed by your bedroom on the first floor, you could hear your phone sounding off in aggressive vibrations even through the wooden walls and the closed door. You swore under your breath and pushed into your room to turn it off, then paused when you realized why it had gone off in the first place.
Fireflies.
"Everything okay?" Kevin's voice came back around the bend, his head poking into the space and the bird seed bag nowhere to be seen. He must have put it away just now.
You glanced up at him as you silenced the alarm and tucked your phone into your pocket. You hadn't needed it all that much this entire trip, but you would definitely hold onto it tight tonight. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Ready to head out?"
He didn't question your behavior and nodded. "Ready when you are."
Sometimes campfire smoke burned Kevin's eyes, but that was mostly when he was younger and didn't know any better. The embers of the fire were always so warm and inviting, always luring him toward it and inviting him to stare into its core. He could still feel the sting of the ash in his pupils as he looked at it from afar now.
The summer sun had sunken down into the horizon and gave way to a comfortable nightfall. Above your heads hung curtains of leaves from oaks, and above them was the blanket of night sky bedazzled in stars. Nature, as you had said earlier today, was quite photogenic.
He sat perched slightly away from everyone in the group, settling at the picnic table with his back to the table surface so he could still face into the fire. When everyone regrouped, Joshua had brought along an acoustic guitar and played it for everyone now.
"Sunday morning, rain is falling."
Someone lit up in a small hoot of approval. Kevin observed the group before him, the several families that had come together. He was especially pleased that the Hongs and the Xus were still hanging out with the lot of them, the latter being around a little less, but still coming out to join the fun, nonetheless.
He hadn't even realized when the last time his mom tried blatantly pushing him towards Serena. At some point, she stopped and it slipped his mind.
"Clouds are shrouding us in moments, unforgettable. You twist to fit the mold that I am in."
Kevin scratched his jaw as he turned his eyes down to the iPad settled in his lap. After he had finished up dinner, he ran inside to swap out his camera for his device to get some sketching done. There wasn't a particular project he was working on; he just wanted to practice a little.
When he lifted his gaze back up to pick a subject, he found himself looking in your direction. Your dad and Connor brought out the goodies to make s'mores. Long, slim skewers were passed around the circle, and the kids were the first to receive marshmallows to spear.
You and your sister sat beside one another and you helped her grab two of the mallows to impale. The light from the fire flickered across your face in differing levels of shadow, a play on contrast. Your expression seemed softer here—he wasn't really sure what it was. Maybe it was the tenderness at the corner of your eyes as you laughed at Connor's marshmallow falling burnt into the pit; maybe it was the triumph you shared with Alice when you helped her sandwich her marshmallows between a slab of chocolate and twin graham crackers.
He liked to believe his hand started before he consciously knew what he was doing.
"That may be all I need… In darkness, she is all I see."
"Are you sure you don't want me to make you one?" You asked your brother as he grabbed his redemption marshmallow from the bag.
Connor huffed, puffing out his chest. "I got this."
Your eyebrows flew upward. "Okay, big guy. Have at it." You chuckled and grabbed a marshmallow for yourself, sticking it onto your skewer to let it broil over the heat.
Kevin traced the lines of your face with his eyes, his hand transferring that memorization onto his screen. Sometimes human expressions were a little difficult to portray accurately, and there was a thorn pricking the back of his mind, urging him to do you justice. He didn't know if he could.
Your head slowly swayed to the sound of Joshua's pretty melody, the corners of your mouth tilting upward. Kevin shifted his position on the bench and drew the little tick mark at the edge of your mouth for that slight smile.
He always knew you were beautiful—for fuck's sake, he'd practically said it today in the forest. It had been among the crush of other important conversations, but he meant it. He still had the image of you engraved in his brain, the moment when you discovered the family of birds in the feeder house. You'd lit up like a goddamn star.
You stood up from your spot once your marshmallow became the perfect golden tone over the edges. You stepped over to the chair that held all the ingredients and smooshed the marshmallow between chocolate and cracker. Then, you turned and marched over to him.
Surprise alerted in his features, and he subtly tilted the screen of his iPad up against his chest. "Hey," he greeted softly while you approached.
You returned the expression and held out the s'more to him. "Here. It's for you."
The organ in his chest did a somersault. "What?" He laughed, "For me?"
"Yeah, silly. I don't know why you're so far away, but I know you like 'em." You settled on the bench next to him with one arm braced behind you on the table and your legs crossed, one over the other.
"Thank you," he said, using one of his hands to bite into it with childlike giddiness. The mixture of flavors exploded in his mouth—the crunch of the graham cracker, the soft, gooeyness of the chocolate and marshmallow. A perfect, sweet treat, and done exactly right. "Mmmh, this is so good," he mumbled behind his hand to catch any crumbs on his lips.
You chuckled. "Nice, glad it has your stamp of approval." Your eyes wandered down to his iPad, and you could see the white screen lit up against his shirt. "What have you been up to?"
His eyes widened a smidge, and there came a bashfulness to his face. (Cute.) "Oh, uhm," he swallowed down the remainder of the s'more and tilted the screen away from you. Huh, strange. "It's nothing really. Just sketching."
You hummed in understanding, though it was a little out of character for him to hide it from you. "Ah, I see."
The two of you descended into silence, and you leaned your back against the table to get comfortable. Kevin passed you sidelong glances from the corner of his eye, unsure of how you knew he wanted you to stay. (Because he definitely did want you to stay.)
Perhaps this was a sign. Thoughts had been brewing in his head as of late, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with them. They all just… sort of piled up in his hands and he didn't know how to free them up to reach out to you.
He opened his mouth to say something—anything—maybe even about the pact—to retract the pact?—it didn't matter.
But when he turned to look at you this time, your gaze was elsewhere. That soft, tenderness remained, but you had turned your attention to Joshua.
Ah. He shouldn't have jumped so soon. A hopeless kind of ache twisted in his stomach that made him uncomfortable. He briefly glanced down at his screen of what he'd sketched of you so far and decided it might be better to finish it later.
Fireflies. You nearly forgot that you planned to sneak out and see fireflies tonight.
By the time the campfire was cleaned up and everyone was tucked away into their beds, it was probably nearing midnight. You quietly rustled around your room in the dark and used only your phone's flashlight to gather things into a little knapsack—just the essentials, of course. There was no need to get fancy with it.
You wished you had signal so you could text Kevin and warn him ahead of time that you were about to go appear at his window, but you figured it would be fine anyhow. Even if he wasn't awake, the excitement buzzing inside of you could hardly wait.
Shouldering your bag, you headed out the door and crossed the divide between your house and the Moons'.
You located Kevin's window on the second floor, quietly rejoining when you realized it was cracked open. This had to be fate; what other reason would his window be open? (Clearly not for the cool, evening breeze or anything…)
You cupped your hands around your mouth. "Kevin!" You stage-whispered. "Kevin!"
A moment later, a head popped out the open frame. His hair stuck up a little bit and his eyes squinted down into the darkness at you. "Yn?"
"Yes," you said with a grin that he probably thought was idiotically too large. You waved him down. "I'm gonna go see fireflies!"
It took him a second to compute. "What time is it?"
"Like, midnight."
"Okay."
Seven minutes later, Kevin emerged from the back door with a T-shirt and sweatpants on, a yawn splitting his face. He shook his head out as if he was shaking out the remaining remnants of sleep from his system. You met him on the back stairs.
"So what's this about fireflies?" He asked you as the two of you ventured off into the wilderness.
Last year when you were up here at the lake, there was one night when sleep refused to take you. Your solution had been to go on a walk, and as completely dangerous as that sounded (because it was), you'd stumbled upon the meadow you now took Kevin toward. You hadn't the faintest why you never knew about this place after years of coming up to the lake town, but it was where the fireflies took flight.
The meadow was not too long a walk from where you both lived, and by the time you arrived, Kevin was wide awake.
"It's just over this crest," you told him, the jubilation in your voice nearly spilling over.
Kevin smiled at the sound of your excitement and eagerly followed you up the hill.
As soon as you made it over, you lost all your breath in awe. The meadow sprawled at your feet for miles was completely a-glow. Little beads of yellow-green light dotted the field in every corner like light bulbs strung together by invisible string. You had only ever seen this once in person, the rest via the internet and popular culture (movies, TV shows, and the like), and yet, it never compared to the real life experience.
You and Kevin stood there for a moment to soak in the sight. What a wonder of nature this was.
When you finally gained the sense to, you dug around in your bag for wherever you'd stashed your phone. Your tongue stuck out of the corner of your mouth as you fidgeted with the settings on your phone camera. You just wanted one little picture to show one of your professors at school, but it seemed your camera-working skills left much to be desired.
"Here, let me," Kevin murmured and gently took the phone from you. He showed you the screen as he fixed the settings—et voilà! Like magic, the field before you became visible on your camera screen in the crispiest, sexiest quality you had ever seen. "And… there you go."
He clicked the photo for you and handed you back your phone.
Mouth agape, you zoomed in on your completed photo. "Thanks, Kevin!" You gushed as you admired his handiwork.
He clasped a hand against the back of his neck. "No worries. Just a few tricks I learned."
You still warmed at the gesture. With your phone now tucked away, the two of you could sink back into the glory of the field of fireflies.
You heard Kevin's voice, soft, "How do they light up like that?"
"Bioluminescence," you replied in a whisper back. "It's a biochemical reaction that basically lets them convert energy into that light you see." There were plenty of other examples of bioluminescence in nature, as well. One particular instance you'd read about once, was a wave of bioluminescent algae appearing on the shores of a Southern Californian beach during the summer. It was neat stuff.
"Wild," he marveled.
A wave of calm fell over your form. You'd never felt so at peace in your life—just you, the outdoors, and one of the few people who made you actually feel this comfortable. You swallowed at the thought.
You were suddenly hyperaware of how close you were standing to him, the backs of your hands grazing against each other. You could feel his skin, his knuckles against yours—and maybe your brain was making it up, but the touch felt intentional.
For a second, you indulged yourself in what it might be like to close the distance and take his hand into yours. Of course, it wouldn't have to be in the romantic way; friends could hold hands… right? They could hold hands and your heart could skip several beats and he could look at your lips, and you would still be friends. Right?
You cleared your throat, and the sound seemed to thunder in the silence. "We should—we should probably head back," you said, sparing a glance at him.
He caught your eyes and held them. His lips turned upward, and the shine in his eyes was fond. "Okay."
With renewed energy, you made the trek back into the neighborhood. Your bucket list items for the summer had nearly all been checked off—not like you had a physical list written out. These were simply traditions you hoped to fulfill every summer while you were here in your happy place.
The crickets chirped a lovely serenade as you and Kevin strolled back onto the street where your houses stood. At the point where you both needed to split off, you nudged him with your elbow. "Thanks for coming out with me tonight."
"Thank you for inviting me," he countered with an amused hum.
"Good night, Kev."
You both lingered for a second. "Good night, Yn," he said back, pausing for a moment. Then he leaned over toward you and pressed his lips to the crown of your head. Your eyes fluttered shut. "Hope the lovebugs bite."
EPISODE ELEVEN: ROCKING THE BOAT
IF there was one thing that Kevin Moon was good at (besides the myriad of things he was actually good at), it was waking up his cousin to exercise with him in the morning.
"I think I deserve a nice, fat stack of pancakes after this," Yuna grumbled after nearly tripping over a raised tree root and kissing the forest floor. She grappled onto her cousin's shoulder to steady herself, the cousin in question giving a light chuckle at her antics. "When your mom said we should exercise together, I thought she meant the next time I was in Vancouver, not right now."
"Well, it's only because Yn's mom planned to go out with my mom this morning," Kevin mused. "Usually I have a designated walking partner."
"Woe is me. Alas, I have become your Plan B," Yuna sighed melodramatically with a hand draped over her forehead.
This morning, at a lovely 9:46am, the lake and its surrounding forest was just as alive and awake as Kevin was. The sun had taken up its perch in the clear, blue sky and the birds had long since begun their morning songs. They were awfully loud at this part of the lake, the exact three-quarter mark around the perimeter. Kevin thanked his parents for choosing houses away from this area—he would have never slept ever if they bunkered up here. (Not that he slept anyway, but that was beside the point.)
The walk began a little later than he usually did with your mom, but he granted Yuna a bit of leeway since she hadn't exactly been given a head's up. (He argued the opposite, but he let this once slide.)
"You're so dramatic," he chided playfully. "Watch out for that rock."
Yuna's mouth morphed into a deep frown, eyes wide open, as she narrowly missed being nature's fool another time. "Oh, speaking of Yn… Yn's mom? Whatever, I just mean Yn."
Kevin perked up at the topic change. His brain was fresh from last night's midnight endeavor with you and the fireflies. His lips still tingled from when he ventured to kiss you on the head… he wasn't sure where that courage had come from, but the memory of it kick-started his heart into a gallop. "What about Yn?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. You tell me." A smile crawled onto her face, and Kevin could smell her slyness a mile away. "The two of you have been hanging out a ton recently."
"We usually stick together," he sniffed, fidgeting absentmindedly with the beads on the bracelet you'd made him.
"Aish," she pressed her features into an unimpressed look that reminded Kevin of a typical Chanhee deadpan. "You're so unhelpful. You know what I'm talking about!" She smacked the side of his arm, and Kevin erupted into a fit of laughter.
His smile grew shy. "I don't really know what to say! I'm sorry—that's the truth." Because how could he even begin when it came to you? Where did it end, where did it begin?
"I see the way you look at her, Kev."
Kevin shoved his hands into his shorts. Suddenly the bird nest he spotted in a nearby tree became all too interesting. The bird nest reminded him of the birds who had made a home out of one of your feeders, and that reminded him of the adorable elation on your face when you discovered it and that reminded him of—he came to a stop. Oh, god, he was so far gone. "How do I look at her?"
Yuna peered at him curiously, then stopped to face him. "You look at her like I look at Jin. At least, that's how I think I look at him." She offered him a supportive smile. "But right now, you look like you're going through your midlife crisis."
"I might as well be."
She barked out a laugh. "Save that for when you buy a house, my friend."
He rubbed his temples with a wince. "Houses, domesticity, money, partners. Why is adulting so hard?"
"Hey, you'll get through it," she told him and nudged his shoulder. "What's going on, dude? What's on your mind?"
Kevin swallowed. He still hadn't the faintest idea where to begin, but everything had to start somewhere. Yuna had always been kind to him (a menace at times, but that feeling was mutual), and he trusted her with his vulnerabilities. He toed the ground. "Okay, last night, I kissed her—"
"YOU WHAT?"
He sputtered, red rushing to his face, as he grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes were practically falling out of her head. "Nonononono! Let me finish, you—I kissed her on the forehead, okay?"
Her gaping mouth closed only slightly. "Oh…" She thought about it some more. "Oh."
Kevin nodded gravely. "Yup."
Yuna straightened with a furrowed brow. "Well, that's not that big of a deal, is it?"
"What do you mean that's not a big deal?" His hands shot to the top of his baseball cap. "How is that not a big deal!"
"That's because the two of you refuse to acknowledge or entertain the obvious!"
Kevin hissed when she reached over to give his forehead a very hard flick. He rubbed the spot that began to smart; getting flicked in the forehead twice in one lake trip was twice too many. "The obvious?"
"That you guys can have the mushy gushy feelies without it being a product of the placebo effect from your moms' collective matchmaking efforts."
He made a face. "That was a lot of words…"
She deadpanned. "Kevin, listen to me: just because the two of you made a stupid pact when you were ten—"
"Eleven."
"Whatever. Eleven—doesn't mean that you can't leave room to, you know, amend that. You have to give yourself the opportunity to explore it, especially when I can clearly see that your feelings are changing about this girl." Yuna grasped her cousin by his shoulders this time in an attempt to telepathically insert these words into his brain. Or at least, just make him listen.
The words seeped into his head. The two of you had already made amendments earlier this trip, but you had never commented on the "only friends part." He even entertained the idea of bringing it up to you last night at the bonfire.
He didn't realize Yuna already began tugging him along the path to circle around the remainder of the lake to get back to the house. Everything was so muddled… but a part of him recognized that Yuna was right. He just wished he could get an idea of where your thoughts laid.
There were moments when you thought life could be like a movie, but then why was doing this pedal boat thing so much less glamorous than it seemed? Then again, maybe you shouldn't have thought doing this at high noon was the greatest idea.
You should have been like your Uncle Seokjin, who sat to your left, swallowed up in a blue lifejacket, a pair of big sunglasses, and a crocheted bonnet with a duck face to keep his face out of the sun. Yeah, maybe glasses would have been a good idea.
Sweat dribbled down the side of your face and down the slope of your nose, and you wiped it off with the back of your hand. "It's so hot, Uncle. We couldn't have waited until later today when it cooled down?"
He leaned back, his cheeks and skin reddened and damp from the heat and the fire in his calves from pedaling. "Okay, okay. Let's stop here."
"Right in the middle of the lake?" You asked incredulously, but immediately brought your feet off the pedals to give your legs a deserved break.
"What better place to do so?"
The two of you lounged in your seat beneath the molten afternoon sun, limbs screaming, water draining from your bodies through your pores. This would have been nice if you brought a sun umbrella… or maybe some water… man, did you make so many poor choices today.
"So what's going on with you and Kevin?"
The question snapped you out of your heat-fazed daze. You nearly thought you hallucinated him saying that. You stammered, "What about me and Kevin?"
You could see his overexaggerated facial expression even from behind his sunglasses. "Yah, don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about—I saw you two last night."
You lurched out of your seat and caused the violent rocking of the boat. You and your copilot let out twin swears as the boat evened out on the waves, and luckily, did not capsize. "Sorry—the fuck? You did?"
"Actually, I didn't," he snickered. "But now I know something did happen. So what's the tea, girl? Hit me with it. It's hot outside but I always take my beverages scorching." He shifted in his seat, carefully, in order to give you his full attention.
You couldn't believe he dragged you out to the middle of the lake just for this conversation. Total Uncle Seokjin move. You walked (or pedaled) right into his checkmate.
Moments of last night flooded into your brain—the campfire, the fireflies, the kiss, the… the him. Kevin. You gulped. Where did you even think to begin? "I took him to see fireflies last night."
Jin scrunched his eyebrows together. "Fireflies? Since when did we have fireflies? You didn't take me to see the fir—oh, you know, what? It was your little romantic moment; I got it."
"It wasn't a romantic moment!" You sputtered helplessly, uselessly. "It was—it was a moment of serenity and scientific marvel."
"You are such a nerd. What did he do, huh? Did you guys hold hands or something?"
Almost. "No," you said. "He… he did kiss my forehead once we got back though."
"Aha!" You both careened as the boat trembled violently from Seokjin's sudden Einstein epiphany. "I knew that something happened," he said once the boat slowed to a stop again. "I just had a feeling in my gut."
"Are you sure it wasn't the yogurt you had this morning?"
"How dare you," he huffed. "I brought my lactose pills. And hey! Stop changing the subject."
You laughed aloud, but inwardly, your gut was churning. Maybe you could blame the heat, but you knew the real reason why you were suddenly feeling as unstable as the pedal boat you sat upon. The idea that the entirety of your friendship could be so easily uprooted… well, perhaps not easily. Picking apart your friendship would be like flushing weeds out of a garden—you would have to get at the roots, and right now, the roots were so deep that you would fall into the ground before finding the bottom.
Not that you wanted to uproot your friendship, or relationship, with Kevin. Of course not.
What did that forehead kiss even mean? What did all of the moments you shared between him this summer, as a whole, even mean? Why, all of a sudden, did you want the way he looked at you to mean something different besides platonic affection? Why did you want more when you had never really thought about more before?
You voiced all of this aloud to your uncle, who sat staring out onto the calm surface of the lake. When you were finished with your ramble, he said, "You need to get your shit together, girl."
You coughed. "Thanks, that was so helpful."
"I'm told that a lot," he beamed. "But really, those are all very good questions, Yn. And they're super important, too."
You frowned, lifting the rim of your baseball cap to wipe away the perspiration collecting at your hairline like a cult. "Do you think that these mixed feelings are a result of all the matchmaking going on? Like, somehow, we've let it affect how we view each other?"
"Honestly?" He sighed, his shoulders lifting and dropping in a half-hearted shrug. "Could be. But, Yn honey, is it really such a bad thing? And let's think about it this way—how do you feel about Joshua?"
You didn't need to think too hard about it. "He's a catch, but not my type of butterfly."
"Exactly, and oh my go—"
"Don't," you chuckled menacingly, "call me a nerd."
He gestured vaguely with his hand. "I wasn't; I was gonna call you a dork."
You snorted. With another swipe at your dripping neck, you said, "But Kevin and Serena—"
"'Kevin and Serena' don't exist," he told you with a smack of his lips. Jin peered at you from over the rim of his glasses, which in kind, made the duck's beady eyes stare straight into your soul, too. "That girl bats for the other team, and Kevin has shown zero interest in her other than helping her not fall off a jet ski."
Huh. You leaned your elbow onto the knee of one leg, propped up to your chest. "Well when you put it that way…"
"When I put it that way," he finished for you, "it makes it a little clearer, hm?" You were quiet for a moment, and Jin gave your shoulder a pat. "Some things are just meant to be."
The words, so familiar to you, rang true as a bell. Some things are just meant to be. You couldn't help the smile that started to work its way onto your face, and it was all thanks to Seokjin helping you sweep away some of the webs confusing your brain. You weren't completely confident, but you could feel yourself being nudged in a certain direction, and this time, you weren't pushing back.
The tide could take you where it may.
Your uncle by association added quietly, "Haven't you thought just once that, after all this sneaking around, there's been another reason for it other than a pact?"
EPISODE TWELVE: FISH IN THE SEA, ANTS IN THE GROUND
BY the time you and Jin returned to solid ground, you discovered that Kevin was away with his dad helping the Xus pack and clean up. Today they would be departing the small lake town, as they hadn't planned on spending as much time up here as the rest of you did. You and most of the others already said your goodbyes at the campfire, so you had little else to do but twiddle your thumbs until you could confront Kevin with your thoughts.
A shower always produced productive results, especially after melting Wicked Witch of the West style in the middle of the lake.
There was time, you realized, to bring things together. Of course, there was a part of you that shied away from wanting to even address this epiphany. What if bringing this up opened up a whole new can of worms? In other words, what if talking about the elephant in the room only led to regret? You didn't want to lose Kevin, and because your families were always so close, you didn't want to lose this. This connection, this tradition, this place.
Too many memories made their home here at the lake. It was your happy place… his happy place. It was everything.
Everything could change, and wasn't that terrifying? But it could also be great, and who best to share the scariest, greatest moments of life with other than your Kevin Moon?
As rubber tire wheels ate gravel, Kevin nodded to his dad and set off back across the lawn toward your cabin. The afternoon had him busy with helping the Xus head home, which he didn't mind doing, of course; the lot of them had fun with his party, and his party with the lot of them. He and Serena left on friendly terms, undeterred by his mother's half-hearted attempt to get them sort of talking. Serena said she understood.
Kevin needed to talk to you though. After the morning was spent with Yuna getting him to see the big ass elephant in the room—trunk in his face and trumpet in his ear—there was no other course of action left but to tell you the truth.
The truth. God, the truth. The truth was that he didn't want the old pact in place anymore. That was it, plain and simple. It was crazy to think about how long the two of you had let it restrain your relationship—wait, did you want it to though?
"Hey Kevin!"
Kevin slowed to a stop, attention perking up at his name when he saw Joshua making his way over to him. He worried his bottom lip. You didn't… like Josh, did you? He just had to be sure because, well, that would throw a rock into things. "Oh, hey, man."
Joshua offered him a bright smile. "Hey. Did Serena and her parents just take off?"
Kevin cupped the back of his head. "Uh, yeah! Just now, actually."
"Cool, cool." Joshua nodded his head. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
His heart threw itself over the side of a cliff. Oh no. He let out a laugh, hoping to push the nerves out of his voice, but he was sure it wasn't too convincing anyhow. "Really? What—what about?"
"It's about Yn—" Oh, double no. "—I kind of," he winced, "noticed that her mom was trying to… nudge us together?"
"Oh god, let me be the first to apologize—"
Joshua broke the tension with a chuckle. "Hey, it's no worries! I just didn't know if you were aware or not because you and she kind of seemed like a couple to me, but I didn't know if her mom knew."
Kevin blinked, heart quickening for a different reason. "What?" He stammered. "Sorry, can we rewind?"
"Hm? That you and Yn are a thing? Are—are you not?" He gasped, eyes going wide. "Shit, that was stupid of me to just assume. Sorry if that was totally awkward!"
Oh, but quite the opposite. Kevin could feel the blood rush to his cheeks, clear as day. There was a warm feeling in his chest knowing that more people thought that you and him looked like a couple. It was ridiculous how the thought got him giddy now. Kevin shook his head though. "No, no, you're good, dude. But we aren't a couple." Yet. Hopefully.
Joshua cocked his head to the side curiously. "Oh? I guess… it's still a little strange of me to assume, so I apologize. You're…?"
"Interested?" A nod. "Yeah." (Wow, that was a verbal admittance. One step closer to the real thing.)
Kevin cleared his throat and grabbed his shoulder with his opposite hand. "You're not—you're not interested in her, are you? I mean," he rushed to add, "it's totally fine. I understand—"
Joshua shook his head. "Oh shit, no, I'm not interested. Not that Yn's a bad person or anything, but I'm taken."
Pause.
…that made sense.
Joshua laughed, ducking his head to hide the smile that blossomed on his face. "Yeah, I'm already spoken for. My parents don't really know yet, but… yeah. I didn't wanna get in the way of whatever you and Yn have, and hopefully I'm not saying this too late."
On the contrary, a weight lifted from Kevin's chest and he sucked in a lungful of summer breeze. "Nah, man. Thanks for saying it in the first place; I appreciate it."
"Yeah," Joshua said pleasantly. He nodded at him, lips pursed with one eye squinted. "She digs you, too, you know? I've seen it all throughout this trip."
Hope filled his heart like the air ballooning his lungs. He didn't know what to do with all of these. They just kept coming up onto the stack of things in his hands that he wanted to take into consideration and tell you to your face, once and for all. Your face just kept flickering in his mind's eye, and the nerves were slowly melting into excitement. He wanted to share this with you, as the two of you had done for years.
"I hope so."
Joshua clasped a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "I would say 'go get 'em, tiger,' but I have a friend at school who is scarily obsessed with tigers, so I'll just say—" A squeeze of his shoulder, "you got this."
Kevin didn't know what to do with that extra factoid, but he gave Joshua a grateful grin. "Thanks, man."
The pair split off from there, one heading back toward his own cabin, and the other, marching toward the future. Whatever laid ahead, he could take on.
His step gained a skip, and soon, he was jogging across the green until he appeared at your back porch. He hadn't really prepared anything—no romantic gestures, no flowers or candles, no chocolates. All he had were the words on his tongue and his newly realized love for you. Love, a strange phenomenon. He had his love for you stashed away in his breast pocket and it blossomed every summertime.
He let himself into the house and went poking around for you. "Yn? Yn, you back yet?"
No answer.
He ducked his head into the kitchen, the living room, before he came upon your bedroom door left slightly ajar. Through the sliver, he saw the bottoms of your feet on the bed, and he gently knocked on the door before pushing through.
"Yn…? Ah," His voice quieted to a whisper.
You were curled up over the bedsheets, asleep. Kevin slowly tiptoed his way over to you where your body was angled toward your phone screen, lying discarded on the pillow and actively running an episode of Our Planet.
A smile, fond and tender, pressed itself into his mouth. He reached over to carefully turn the downloaded episode off to descend the room in complete silence.
His head swiveled toward the foot of the bed where your patchwork quilt hung off the railing. He carefully draped it over your sleeping form, then made his exit.
You deserved the rest. And though he couldn't confess to you now, this gave him the time to ensure he got this exactly right.
EPISODE THIRTEEN: THE DAMSELS IN DEVOTION DEAL™
TIME passed by differently here.
One moment, you were biding your time and indulging in an episode of Our Planet; the next, the bedroom was dark and the house was quiet. You roused from sleep confused and delirious. You stretched your limbs up over your head, taking note of the quilt draped over your body.
Huh, you wondered how that got there.
Your eyes fluttered and squinted when you stood up and saw a flicker of amber light from outside your window. The view looked over only part of the backside to the house, so all you could see were the shadows that the campfire created. They danced by way of the breeze, their puppetmaster.
The time on your phone read a (slightly alarming) ten o'clock. You hadn't realized you slept that long. Maybe you were more tired than you originally thought.
Wait, then why was the campfire still blazing?—
"Yn! Psst!"
You pressed your face against the open slit in the window to track the sound of your name. Déjà vu swept over you as you discovered Kevin making his way over toward you from the outside. "Kevin? Is everyone still up?"
He shook his head. "No, no. I've just been waiting," he admitted sheepishly. "Come on out. Have you eaten yet?"
"Oh, no. I just woke up."
"Ah… right." He clasped the back of his neck. "Well, come out anyway. We can sit together."
Together. You liked the sound of that.
Without wasting more time, you promised him two minutes and scurried out of your room to round to the back door. The campfire crackled on your side of the lawn, rather than the middle of the properties this time, and Kevin tended to it on one of the two foldable chairs present.
You took a seat in the open seat. "S'mores?" You chuckled, noting the basket of ingredients at his feet.
He ducked his head. "Yeah," he loosened a laugh, "I thought I'd make you a s'more this time."
It was just a s'more, and yet, here was the organ in your chest palpitating in your chest. You didn't reject the s'more, of course, and watched him skewer a marshmallow and hold it over the blazing embers. As he did so, you caught the way his other hand fidgeted with your bracelet on his wrist, how his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Was he as nervous as you were?
The thing, Yn.
"There's something I—" You both stopped short at your simultaneous words. They were the same, too, and had the pair of you fumbling.
"You first," you said, gesturing to him.
He hummed and tried for a smile. "Do you remember that night in sixth grade when we made the pact?"
You nodded.
"It was kind of like this actually," he mused. The marshmallow had browned into a beautiful gold, and you reached into the basket to help him assemble the chocolate and graham cracker pieces. Your fingers grazed his as he squished the outer crackers together to hand it to you. "A late night, s'mores, the campfire."
You took a chunk out of the s'more and swallowed before adding, "Seems like so long ago."
"Right?" He slipped the metal skewers back into the basket and leaned his arms onto his knees, body angled toward you. "The pact, I…" He considered his words as they melted on his tongue like the chocolate and marshmallow on yours. "I wanted to ask if you would think about another amendment."
You met his eyes now. The burning fire reflected in his dark irises, warm and bright. "An—an amendment," you parroted. Was this what you thought it was? You finished off your s'more, hoping not to choke when he told you whatever he wanted to tell you. You suddenly wondered if the s'more was just to soften the blow.
Kevin nodded. "Yeah, another amendment. We didn't really discuss the biggest part of the original pact when we made the rescue protocol."
"The 'just friends' clause," you finished, breathlessly.
"Yn, I don't wanna be just friends anymore."
It didn't hit you at first. You swore the ash from the fire was making you hear things, but it hit you, milliseconds later. "Oh."
He pursed his lips for a moment. "It's taken me a stupidly long time to come to this conclusion, and I was thinking about what we were talking about the other night—about if we were ready for relationships. And I said that maybe the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was someone I already met.
"Yn, I think I'm in love with you," he said. "Not just in a way that friends love each other, but something… something more. And I wanted to let you know because—if I'm being completely honest—I want to share everything with you."
You could feel the way your lips curled upward and your heart soared. "I wanna share everything with you, too. And I don't know how long I've sat on this, but what I do know is that I feel so much for you." Every admittance that was released into the night air like sparks flying was another card laid out between you two, face up. "This place, the lake, has been my place, Kevin. But I want you to be my person."
He smiled at you, sweet and boyish, the type of smile that made you feel on the edge of seventeen. He helped you out of dark places with that smile; he was always showing you the light. "Your person," he murmured, letting that sink into his tongue and be familiarized with it. "I would love to be your person, Yn."
Your hand found his across the gap between your chairs. His thumb caressed over the side of yours, and he tucked his other hand over top until you were enveloped in his clasp—safe and sound.
When the fire was reduced to nothing more than ash and memory, you and Kevin raced each other down to the water's edge. The lake was stilled beneath the moonlight, a pool of silvery mercury. You reached for his hand again and intertwined your fingers firmly, a comforting weight and hold.
It felt right.
"So since we made an amendment to the protocol again," you started as he swung your laced hands between your bodies, "we need to seal the deal."
A grin bloomed on his face, and he bit his lip. "Hear me out," he drawled. "Maybe we should update the seal, too."
You narrowed your eyes in jest. "You just don't want me to flick your forehead."
"Sue me, you flick hard," he laughed.
"But shoot."
He licked his lips and turned to face you. "Can I show you?"
Your heart gave one big lurch as he leaned over to you. You closed the rest of the distance and sighed something happy at the feel of his lips against yours. It was gentle and brief, his mouth parting from yours to give you enough room to back away.
You could feel your twin smiles. "I kind of like it."
"Yeah?" He hummed. "Well, that can be our practice round."
You shook your head and threw your arms around his neck to pull him back over to you. His arms curled around your middle, hands pressed to your sides and holding you close.
When you broke apart this time, his warm chuckle ran a delicious bolt of electricity down your spine. "I know things are gonna be different now… But we got this."
It was the way he looked at you—the one that assured you he was the same Kevin he was three years ago and beyond; the kid who broke the swing set when you challenged him to a bet; the kid who sketched butterflies in meadows, and now sketched you in the firelight; the kid who would never judge you or ridicule you for your feelings, but validate them, always. You didn't know how you were so blind to it before.
It wasn't so scary anymore, not when you knew he would be there with you.
"Yeah," you said softly, running your thumb down the back of his neck, "I'm not really worried."
He let out a breathy laugh, and it coaxed one out of you, too. Kevin pressed his forehead to yours, pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, pressed his heart to yours.
Some things really were just meant to be.
a/n: now the question is how are they gonna tell their moms... 🤡 if you enjoyed, pls remember to reblog, or comment, or send in an ask!! thanks for reading :] see you in at your convenience!
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THE CONSIGLIERE: Chapter I
Pairing: Mafia!BTS x Reader
Summary:
An internship gone wrong.
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
"Work for you?" That was the first time you met Ji-Hye. She had a soft voice that reminded you of your mother, but her bright eyes held an intelligence behind them.
You were looking through the new paintings for this month's art fair when she came up behind you. You nearly dropped your drink, but managed to save it without making a fool of yourself.
"I guess so," you said awkwardly. A little nervous under her gaze, you fidgeted before realizing you should offer your hand.
The Hwan Ji-Hye. Beautiful. Smart. Kind. An overall perfectionist who cared deeply about how things worked. The perfect girlfriend. The perfect fiancée.
Dionysus Museum's Founding Director and Curator. Well-known for supporting avant-garde performance art. She has repeatedly provided a stage to aspiring performance artists at the beginning of their carrers, launching many a brilliant career. She believes that artist must be activists, and that Dionysus Museum provides a venue for fruitful, challenging debates through a fresh, boundary-breaking art.
She is also a great teacher, an incredibly kind person with a sharp tongue and an even sharper mind. And, while some have argued that she lacks creativity, she has proven countless times that there is a place for all creative ideas.
Her father, a prominent lawyer and judge, had been among the founders of the museum as well.
She was amused by your reaction. "Yes, we have an open internship this month. You should consider applying. I see you have an artistic eye."
You blushed slightly. "Oh, thank you, I didn't know they offered internships. It seems a bit odd though."
She smiled sweetly. "Well, no one else from other schools applied here, which means you may actually get in. But don't go jumping into things too quickly!"
"Uhm... that's... I just enjoy painting." You uncomfortably denied.
A sly smile spread across her lips. "Is that right?"
Your face felt hot. Why did she make everything sound so seductive? It was probably the makeup. No wonder you were having such trouble keeping your eyes off her. She was breathtaking. You were completely lost, and you hated it.
"Exactly what we require. Are you, by chance, a Fine Arts student?" She inquired, but you had a sneaking suspicion she already knew.
"Not exactly. I'm taking a year away to get my master's degree in Fine Arts, but, uhm... I haven't completed the semester yet." You nodded.
"That's fantastic! We are now seeking for additional help. We're a touch short on employees." She pointed in the direction of the ushers and guides who worked behind her.
You noticed that each guide wore a red buttoned shirt underneath their suit jackets. Each had black trousers and shoes, and carried a clipboard.
"Are those… your ushers?" You asked.
Ji Hye gave you an enigmatic smile. "We prefer to refer to them as guides, yes."
You did the math. There were a total of seven, which was obviously insufficient for a museum of this size. "I'd have to think about it."
The young woman leaned forward. "Don't think too hard. Just say the word."
You were silent for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. Your eyes darted from person to person before settling back to her.
"Oh." She seemed depressed all of a sudden. Nonetheless, she persisted in asking, "have you ever accepted an internship before?"
"Uhm... no. I'm still on the lookout." You replied. You thought the conversation was over until her face suddenly lit up again.
"At the very least, consider it. It would make me quite delighted if you chose this internship." She softly held your arm to reassure you. "I can tell you're one of a kind."
Her smile made you feel special somehow, which surprised you. It wasn't like you were a pretty girl or anything—in fact, you thought that you looked more like someone who had spent three years playing tennis than anything else. And yet, something made you trust her. Maybe it was her confident demeanor, or her gentle manner.
It would appear that an angel had gone past. The uneasy pause seemed to go far too long. In reality, it had taken less than a minute. "Ah," you finally said, "thank you."
She squeezed your arm in reply. "Let's hope that it comes true. If not, it's okay. I'll find another way to attract new interns."
"I should probably leave." To avoid the embarrassment, you gently moved backwards, but not before saying, "but thank you for offering. I'll think about it." You instantly turned around and raced through the museum's front doors. When you realized you had made it back to your car with only seconds to spare, you stopped dead in your tracks. This entire afternoon had been a mess, and you felt utterly stupid. You were usually quite good at improvising on the spot, but nothing prepared you for Ji Hye.
Maybe you shouldn't have done that? What if it got her angry? Then again, what if it didn't? Would you have any chance of working for them then?
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Chapter VII
#bts#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#reader#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#ot7 x reader#ot7 x yn#ot7 x you#mafia au
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