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euphoricfilter · 1 year

Text

Stardust || JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x F. Reader

Genre: Fluff || Smut || Friends to Lovers au

Summary: If Jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.

Word Count: 5.5k

Tags/ warnings: himbo-ish jk, so much fluff idk where it came from, smut in the forms of: unintentional masturbation turned coregasm, oral (f. receiving), fingering, protected sex (because that’s really cool), mirror sex, doggy style, technically multiple orgasms, they’re both giggly and in love it’s kinda gross, jk is a tits man, he’s obsessed with boobs, it’s all very tame and kinda soft ig

Notes: yay first fic of 2023. this was way harder to write than i’d anticipated, hopefully i pulled through. and if there’s mistakes, no there aren’t!

<3 thank you to my prettiest baby @4amj3zz for reading this atrocity before i posted it

my full masterlist

✯ ✯ ✯

If every living being’s foundation is made of stardust, scattered when born, then Jungkook thinks the two of you were made from the same star.

A friendship that’s near impossible to come by, crafted by the hands of a higher being— delicate fingertips moulding fickle personalities and emotions that seem incomplete when not together. Two angels sent to earth to be each others’ number one in another life they’ll spend together.

Precious, like naturally formed diamonds.

And maybe that’s what your friendship was, one of the world’s little treasures. One everyone yearns for, though only a select few have.

Sure, diamonds can be replicated, graphite turned jewelry, simply there for show. A statement piece if you must.

Fake diamonds and fake friendships that seem to be more common than the real deal. Hard to crack, though not impossible— splitting the two of you up into pitiful shards and lost pieces; where even the most skilled hands have trouble putting it back together.

Jungkook doesn’t remember life before you. Though he thinks it must have been dull, flimsy smiles, and friends that hadn’t bothered to call once they moved away.

His existence so easily forgotten, that the gnawing sadness didn’t seem to last as long as he’d anticipated. Simply walking the path of life alone, though he often thought solitude wasn’t all that bad.

Until your worlds had collided. The big bang of your friendship, a new world, a new start, everything so fresh and untampered with.

He’d thought about what life would be like if one day the two of you were to ever part ways, the very thought of you not being by his side like a harsh punch the gut.

And maybe he had gotten a little teary eyed on those evenings he felt a little softer, a little sadder at the thought of you ever leaving. His hands fumbling around his sheets for his phone, your voice his only remedy for his growing anxiety, where promises were whispered and sleepy smiles remained on your faces as you rested.

Jungkook doubts that day will ever come. And maybe that’s all just wishful thinking, a juvenile dream that the promise you’d made to one another would hold strong for the rest of time, until the two of you lay six feet under. Resting side by side until your bodies rot, flesh becoming one with the earth, what is left of your existence blossoming into something beautiful; perhaps a tree, a flower, truly anything, as long as you were together.

“Together?” you blink up at Jungkook through your lashes, eyebrows creasing in distaste.

Jungkook thinks you look pretty in that moment, even if you are pulling a face at him. The two of you sat at a bench in the park, your head haloed by the setting sun, last of the days warmth kissing both your skin in a gentle goodbye before the moon watches over the two of you.

Littles galaxies reflected in both your eyes, where Jungkook thinks each star in his represents one thing he loves about you; hidden behind the moonlight because he doubt yours represent the same.

“Yes” he nods, hair flopping a little over his forehead, and you push the stray strands out of his eyes. Fingers delicate as they brush over his skin, always so gentle with him that his heart flutters like the delicate wings of a butterfly.

“Kook, I love you— you know I do” and he nods, lips quirking up a little, “But working out just, isn’t for me” you conclude, tone firm and his shoulders deflate. Because he knows it’ll take more than glossy puppy eyes and a pout for you to give in.

“First off, I love you too—“

“Thank you” you nod. But Jungkook doesn’t think you understand the weight behind those words.

“And look, how do you know it’s not for you, if you’ve never tried?”

“You put me off” and Jungkook would have thought you were joking if you didn’t have that deadpan look on your face. One he was all too familiar with.

“Huh” he gawks, “How?”

“You always complain about sore muscles, and the thought of being sweaty grosses me out” your head tips forward dramatically, cushioned by your arms from the table.

“It’s a good ache” he watches you turn your head, lips moulded into an unconvinced pout as you stare up at him through your lashes.

“There is no such thing as a good ache, Jungkook”

“Is too”

“When?” you flail, unbothered as Jungkook’s hands wrap around your wrists.

“Sex ache”

You pause, “Excuse me?”

“You know?” he cocks his head to the side.

“No” you shake your head in utter disbelief.

Jungkook’s mouth falls open, “You’re a little pillow princess aren’t you, I bet you don’t do any of the work”

“Do too, besides—“ you swallow, “It’s none of your business” you pull your hands free of his grasp.

“Come on, I feel like we’re at a point in this relationship we can share these things” his cheek rests atop of your head, each syllable pulled out into a whine.

“I don’t wanna hear about your sex life, Jungkook” you huff.

You watch him sit up ramrod straight, brain whirring behind his eyes. You think that if he thought any harder you’d be able to hear the echo of his voice.

“Actually, I don’t really wanna hear about yours either” his nose scrunches up, melting your resolve.

A secret charm of his that he didn’t know he had; and you’d never tell him either, no way in hell would you let him weaponize your weakness against you when your heart could barely stand being sat so close to him.

“Best friends don’t always share everything” you quip, only it leaves a tangy taste on your tongue.

“I suppose” Jungkook nods, evidently less enthusiasm radiating off him.

Best friends. It always wet your mood. Like sour candy that’s too sour, or a cute dog that’s breath smells like a rotting carcass.

But that’s what you were, introductions to new classmates or new lovers; it was always best friends. Two simple words that felt like utter shit to say, tumbling past your lips like vomit and then you had to rawdog the aftertaste because you don’t have any toothpaste or mints nearby.

Never anything less, even though there was definitely a lot more going on between the two of you. (Not that either of you had any idea about that.)

It’s a wonder as to how neither of you had grasped the fact that every previous relationship the two of you had, had ended because of the other. Nothing ever seeming to fit in place, the click never being there when it came to someone else.

Communication is key in upholding a relationship of any kind, issues easily resolved with hours of conversation turned mutual understanding, and progression made with a mix of both actions and words. As two people whose love languages were physical touch, the former is just as important as the latter.

One of the only reasons your friendship has lasted this long, is that you both value each other enough to communicate when necessary.

Apart from when you could probably really use it, unidentifiable emotions weaving into your hearts, mixed with a dose of denial can really set you back when you’re near infatuated with your closest friend.

It’s not that either of you had never considered a relationship with one another, others outside your little bubble had brought it up enough times that the meager possibility of it actually happening had been cemented into your thick skulls.

Something nice tickling both your brains at the fact so many people thought you were together together; like, in love together.

Long gone were the days where you’d blurt out your denial to dating accusations with rose dusted cheeks, simply believing the world had a thing against opposite sex friendships. Now, the two of you just laughed off whoever liked to comment on how good you looked as a couple. (Which had brought more than a few of Jungkook’s relationships to turmoil)

It’s just that neither of you believed the other wanted anything more than friendship. A rookie mistake on both your parts, especially when you’d both establish that every and all emotions were to be discussed with one another, no matter what you felt.

“One time” you break the silence, any way to ease the growing tension between the two of you “I’ll work out with you one time. And never again”

You watch the smile as it pulls at the corner of his lips, the prettiest smile, your favorite smile, enough of a reward for whatever pain you’re about to put yourself through. Because as long as Jungkook was happy, then you’d crawl to the ends of the earth if it meant you got to see this smile one more time.

“I love you” he bends down, sloppy kiss pressed to your cheek and you can’t help your own smile, heated cheeks covered as you swat him away from your face. Wiping his saliva from your skin with the back of your hand.

“Whatever” you tut, though Jungkook sees through your faux annoyance.

“We can use my at-home gym as well, so we won’t even be in public”

“Wonderful. Let’s go back now, I’m gonna freeze my tits off if we stay any later”

You don’t catch Jungkook’s gaze flickering down to your chest, lingering a little longer than proper before he’s slinging his zip-up hoodie around your shoulders. Eyes flickering down to his hands briefly before he’s knocking shoulders with you.

“Chivalry isn’t dead” you utter, falling into Jungkook’s side when his arm falls over your shoulder.

✯ ✯ ✯

Jeon Jungkook was sex on legs when he worked out.

You were no stranger to him training, countless vacations together, where the morning was spent with him doing press-up on the balcony or the occasional few times he’d bench-press you for a laugh.

You’d never found it funny though, pussy throbbing between your thighs as he’d grab onto you, arms flexing deliciously. And he never seemed to question why you’d lock yourself up in your room after, purely a coincidence that you’d disappear for an hour after his little stunt.

You were no stranger to a half naked Jungkook either.

Nor were you a juvenile teenager whose panties got in a twist when she saw a toned stomach.

However, this wasn’t just any toned stomach.

Jeon Jungkook was built like Adonis. Carved where every crevice had meaning and every flaw only enhanced his beauty. And it’s hard to think the bushy haired, acne prone teen boy you’d first befriended had turned into this.

If puberty had benefited anyone, it was Jungkook.

“We’ll do something easy today, okay?” he claps and you nod, watching as he saunters over to a basket.

“Pink or blue” he holds up two yoga mats.

“I didn’t think you were into rhinestones” you snort, sun catching on the bedazzled rim of the pink mat— streaks of pink painting the wall.

Jungkook drops said mat, chucking you the blue one before he’s dropping to his knees on the floor.

“It’s one of my exes” he tells you, motioning for you to sit.

If people were flowers, then this is the moment you would have wilted. Deflating in on yourself; it’s not that you were jealous per-say. It’s not like him and his ex were dating at all but still. The very mention of her was enough for you to roll your eyes.

“And you didn’t throw it out?” the words hurdle out your mouth before you can even think about what you’re saying.

“No?” his eyes meet your own, “I’m not throwing away good gym equipment”

You sigh, somehow expecting no less from him. Jungkook was a man of many skills, and he’d hounded you to try hobby after hobby with him— but nothing got him going like a good work out. If all other passion in life disappeared then he would still have working out as his escape.

You sigh, “I have somewhere to be later, so let’s hurry this up” a little white lie, but that never hurt anyone.

“You’re not going on another one of those shitty blind dates, are you?” he groans and you whine.

“I told you, I’m never going on any of those ever again”

“You better not” he unrolls his mat, and you follow.

“Or what?” you turn your nose up at him and Jungkook’s foot collides with your thigh.

“On your back, you brat.”

✯ ✯ ✯

“How much more” you flop against the mat, eyes closing.

“That was only the warm up” Jungkook hums, pushing himself up off the floor.

You hear him walk to the other side of the room, cupboard door creaking open as he rummages around for something.

You peek up at him through your lashes when he throws a towel over your back.

“Roll that up” he motions towards it, coming to sit beside you, “And up onto your back again”

Your eyes widen by a fraction when he gently takes the towel out of your hands, pushing your knees apart before he’s closing them; towel stuffed between your thighs.

Your gaze travels down the length of your body, thighs twitching as Jungkook’s fingers wrap around your ankles.

“All you have to do is raise your legs like this okay?” and he demonstrates, making sure to keep your legs straight as he lifts them to a ninety degree angle from your torso. “Leg raises should be easy, even for you” he hums.

“What’s that supposed to mean” you snap, ready to push yourself up, except Jungkook’s hands press down over your chest.

“Hey! No complaining”

You swallow thickly, aware of Jungkook’s eyes on you as you raise your legs on your own this time.

“Pretty good, remember to tense your core when you do it, okay?”

You nod, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you do as you’re told.

Your eyes squeeze shut, body hyper aware of each small movement the towel has right over your clit. Pussy throbbing inside your panties and you worry your slick had started to soak through your shorts.

Jungkook doesn’t seem to take notice of your growing predicament, hands hovering over your calf to make sure you’re raising your legs all the way. Though that’s the least of your worries as you feel each new wave of unadulterated pleasure pulse through your core.

“Not so bad huh?” he grins.

It’s a strange sensation, pure arousal ebbing up your body, every brush of your panties over your clit, weight of the towel over your slit slowly bringing you to the precipice of an orgasm.

“I don’t think—“ you start, cutting yourself off with an arm covering your face at a particularly intense wave of arousal. Your stomach tightening at the feeling.

“Just a few more, you’re doing great”

“Kook, I really don’t think—“ your hand clamps over your mouth as Jungkook’s fingers take hold of your legs, helping you raise them; and that’s all it takes to tip you over the edge. And you can’t help the surprised moan that drips off your lips.

Your knees bend, nudging against your tits as your hand falls over your sodden pussy, dull wave of your orgasm throbbing throughout your body.

Jungkook looks down at you, eyes wide as you simply lay there with your hands between your legs.

“Did you just piss yourself?” he asks, mouth falling open in awe.

“What the fuck?” you cry, “I just came you idiot”

Jungkook’s cheeks flush red, “Oh” he nods, “Oh. You had a— holy shit”

“Don’t look at me like that” your eyes glaze over with tears, heat prickling up your body in embarrassment, “I didn’t mean to, it just happened”

Your feet fall to the floor, towel falling from between your thighs as you let out a stuttered breath, body still buzzing with the after affects or your surprise orgasm.

“Jungkook?” you peek up at him through hooded eyes, heart pattering so hard in your chest you could feel it in your throat.

Jungkook’s eyes meet your own, “That was so fucking hot” he groans, “Looked so pretty”

You watch as his hand rubs over his shorts, his own arousal hard to hide as his head tips back in a way that extenuates his neck.

“Huh?” your eyes widen, willing yourself to not look at what his hands were doing.

“Should have known something like this would have turned you on”

“I wasn’t even turned on” you exasperate, “I clenched my core like you said and it just happened”

“Mhmm” and you can tell he’s unconvinced.

“Stop rubbing your dick, you horny piece of shit” you clamp a hand over your eyes, thighs clenching when he lets out a deep groan.

“Can’t help it” he lets out a sigh, “I’ve been dreaming of what you’d look like when you came, shame it wasn’t on my cock”

Your hand falls from your eyes, “Dreaming?”

“God, haven’t I made it obvious?” he asks, his own hands falling to his sides, though now you have a full view of his straining erection.

“Made what obvious?” you whisper.

“That I like you” he asks and you gawk at him.

“You, like me? I’ve been trying to hint that I like you” you point at him, mouth falling open in disbelief.

“Huh?” it’s Jungkook’s turn for furrowed brows, “I swear you didn’t like me”

“I could have sworn you didn’t like me”

Jungkook snorts, “When did I ever say that?”

“You’re unbelievable”

“Me? What about you?”

Your body lays flaccid, muscles loose; heart hammering in your ears as Jungkook leans back on his hands.

“How long?” you ask, not daring to look up at him.

“High school”

You push a palm into the socket of your eye, low groan rumbling up your throat, “I’ve liked you since, I don’t know, probably high school as well”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, voice soft and you can feel yourself tearing up— so many emotions plaguing your mind at once you don’t know how to feel.

Jungkook scoots closer to you, “I could say the same thing about you” you huff.

“Why’re you crying” he frowns, thumb gentle as it brushes against your damp cheek.

“We wasted so many years. I seriously thought— you’ve had so many girlfriends”

“Because I thought you didn’t feel the same, I guess I thought my feelings would go away if I gave my heart to someone else. And then you started dating around too and I really thought I’d never have a chance”

“Me too” you sigh, nose scrunching up in distaste for all your failed relationships.

“Guess it didn’t work out for either of us huh?” he hums and you nod.

“I think we’re both stupid” you murmur.

And Jungkook nods, “I agree”

“What do we do now?” you push yourself up onto your elbows, frown on your face.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook’s head hovers over your own, the sun meeting the moon at the same point in the sky— your eclipse. The rest of your world suddenly shrouded in darkness, all you can see, think, smell, everything just Jungkook.

You nod, eyes flitting across his face as his arms cage your head. You can see his biceps flexing in your peripherals, thick muscle straining under the weight of his torso.

Jungkook’s lips hover over your own, a breaths width away from touching. You tilt your head up, pillowy lips cushioning your own and that’s when everything falls into place.

There’s nothing desperate about the kiss, ever so gentle and slow, the two of you aware that lost time can be made up in the future as you simply bask in this moment; your worlds aligning, tilting on the same axis, everything just perfect and right, and your hearts beating in sync, and breathing stuttered as you both pull away with hesitance.

Your hands cup Jungkook’s cheeks, eyes searching his own for anything, just something to tell you this wasn’t all a dream— that he really did like you back.

“You’re so pretty, you know?” he whispers, his lips pressing a featherlight kiss to the corner of your lips.

“No” you smile, giggle bubbling up your throat and Jungkook can’t help but grin down at you.

“I’ll tell you every day, all the time. You’ll get sick of me”

“I could never get sick of you, Jungkook” you push yourself up onto your elbows, noses bumping.

He tilts his head, kiss firm, and you moan as his tongue licks at the seam of your lips, a silent plea for access.

You oblige, arms slung over his shoulders as you bring his body closer to your own, heat radiating off the two of you in thick waves.

“You taste so good” he groans, hands wandering down your body, teasing as they pull up the hem of your hoodie, “Want this off”

Your fingers tug at the offending material, dragging it up your body, “Hang on” you pull away from the kiss, and Jungkook feels his cock twitch at the sight of you. Red swollen lips, a sheen of his saliva coating them.

You pull your hoodie over your head, throwing it somewhere, a problem for later. Thighs clenching as Jungkook stares down at you— eyes wandering.

“And this” his fingers skim over the edge of your sports bra, dancing over your skin, mapping you out of every little spot he wants to kiss.

You hesitate.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable” Jungkook’s smile is gentle, retracting his hands and you want to whine at the loss of contact.

“I want to” you tell him, hoping the shake in your voice didn’t sound too unconvincing. The incessant throbbing between your legs wouldn’t go away unless Jungkook helped you out and your patience was slowly wearing thin.

“But?” he urges.

“I’m nervous” you admit and he smiles; reassuring.

“How can I help?”

You squirm under his gaze, fizzling embarrassment painting your cheeks red, “Can we both—“ you cut yourself off with a whine.

“Come on, gotta use your words, my love”

“Can we both get naked” you splutter, “At the same time?”

Jungkook’s head falls back, fully belly laugh wracking through his body, “Of course”

You tug your shorts off, Jungkook following you; a pile of both your clothes laying forgotten by your head. You’re too distracted tugging your sports bra off to see Jungkook’s length slap against his stomach. Tip of his cock an angry red, his fingers barely touching his shaft as he closes them around the length.

“Oh” he croons, “How pretty. Can I touch you?”

You nod, falling onto your back.

Jungkook’s careful as he touches you, thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples, testing the waters as he tugs at them, eliciting a breathy moan from you.

“Feels good?” his voice low, and you nod; hips involuntarily bucking upwards when you finally cast a glance at his length. Eyes widening a little in awe.

His fingers dig into your flesh, and he bends down, lips closing around one of your nipples. Your back arches, mouth falling open in a silent moan as his teeth nip at the sensitive skin; tugging in a way that sends warm pleasure straight to your core.

He kisses over your chest, lips worshipping your skin, fingers skimming over the underside of your boob.

Each gentle press of his lips are searing as he works down your body. And your breath hitches as his hovers over your pussy, folds glistening with your arousal.

“Oh baby” he groans, and your thighs twitch as his warm breath fans over your core.

Your fingers tangle into his hair, impatient as they tug him closer to where you need him; an embarrassed whine falling past your lips when he kisses over you clit, once, then twice.

“Jungkook” you squeak, legs tensing when he finally wraps his lips around it, tongue flicking at your clit meanly.

He simply hums, vibrations sending a new wave of pleasure straight through your body, another gush of wetness dribbling from your hole. Jungkook wastes no time, fingers scooping up your leaking arousal before he’s pushing them into you.

“Oh” your chest stutters a breath as he pulls his fingers out of you, tongue licking a broad stripe over your cunt before his thumb brushes over your clit.

“You like that?” he asks, though the question was rhetorical as he repeats the motion. Tongue teasing over your hole before he’s lapping up your slick; sucking at your folds, squelching lewd accompanied by each hearty moan.

Your thighs start to shake, clamping around Jungkook’s head though that barely deters him, as he pushes your legs open by your knees.

“Stop. Kook— please” you whimper, “wanna cum around your cock”

That catches his attention, and with one final kiss to your clit he’s pushing himself onto his elbows.

Jungkook looks like the epitome of sin, slick stained chin and swollen red lips, unashamed as he licks your arousal off his face, humming in satisfaction as your chest stutters out a breath.

“Lemme get a condom” he murmurs, lips pressing another kiss over your knee before he’s pushing himself to stand. Your eyes follow his body, heavy cock bobbing against his stomach with every step he takes.

“Hopefully they’re not expired” he calls from the other room, and you giggle at that, “We’re good” he flashes you a grin as he drops back between your legs; foil wrapper held between two fingers.

You watch his fingers run down his length, thumb brushing over his slit and you feel slick dribble out of your hole as a bead of pre-cum coats the head of his cock shiny.

“Please” your head tips back, hands impatient as they tug at your nipples; Jungkook completely entranced by the sight. “Hurry, hurry” you nudge his thigh with your foot, and albeit reluctant, he tears his eyes away from your tits.

He rips the condom open with his teeth, a cheesy attempt at seducing you, and you weren’t about to tell him all he had to do was breathe and you panties would dampen.

He rolls the rubber down his length, fingers wrapping around his cock as he tugs a few times. You choose that moment to flip yourself over, hips raised as your chest lays flat against the floor and Jungkook moans.

“My pretty baby” he croons, hands roaming your ass before he’s pulling your cheeks apart; eyes fixed on your clenching cunt. Ever so enticing, silently begging to be filled and fucked until you can’t think or walk; a perfect excuse for Jungkook to pamper you a little.

You wiggle your hips, giggle muffled in the crook of your elbow has he parts your lips with his thumb, gently dipping into you hole before he’s pulling out.

“Please, Jungkook”

And that’s all it takes for him to line the head of his cock up with you entrance, tip nudging against your clit before he’s pushing into you; every inch stretching you apart deliciously.

“So good” you sigh, walls clenching around him and Jungkook can’t help the stutter of his hips, punching the air out of your lungs at the sudden intrusion.

“Sorry—“ his fingers dig into your hips, “Just feels so good, sucking me in”

You rock back onto his cock, breathy moan tumbling past your lips as your ass meets his pelvis; cock fully tucked into your pussy.

“Give me a moment” you shudder, body thrumming in anticipation.

Jungkook hums, hands wandering your body, fingers dancing over your skin. A surprised moan echoes throughout the room as his hands grab both your tits, squeezing them, fingers rubbing over both your nipples sending hot pleasure straight to your cunt.

He can feel you rhythmically clenching around him, walls sucking him in as you rock forward an inch before you’re sinking back down on his length.

“Okay” you nod, fingers holding onto the edge of the yoga mat.

“You sure?” he asks, pulling out to the tip, hips slow as he plunges back into you.

“Mhmm”

You feel Jungkook’s fingers dig into the meat of your hips, picking up the pace of his thrusts.

You can’t help each near pornographic moan that’s pushed out of you with each harsh slap of Jungkook’s hips meeting your ass, skin smacking wet as your slick coats your thighs.

“So good for me” his head tips back, arms hooking around your bent elbows.

You let out a squeak as he sits you up, and your walls constrict around his length as he pushes deeper inside of you, gush of wetness clinging to his thighs.

“So good” your head tips back onto his shoulder, knees helping you bounce up his length.

Your back arches when the head of cock hits your g-spot, ring of creamy slick gathering at the base of his cock each time you pull up to the tip.

“Look at that” Jungkook murmurs into your ear, one hand tangling into your hair as the other settles over your throat.

He tugs your head up, and you catch your reflection in the full length mirror; insides of your thighs coated in a sheen of your slick, Jungkook’s hips thrusting his cock up into you, both your bodies glistening with sweat.

The red hue of your cheeks flushes down your neck and chest, shade darkening with each wet squelch of your cunt as Jungkook helps you bounce in his lap.

He watches your tits bounce, both his hands wandering to grab them, pulling your back closer to chest as he pounds into you.

“I’m gonna cum” you hiccup, hands scrambling to hold onto his bicep as your other hand travels down your body, fingers gathering up your slick before you’re circling your clit.

You thighs start to shake, crescent moons indented into your skin as Jungkook’s grip on your chest tightens, your walls throbbing around his cock, drawing him closer to his orgasm.

“Yeah?” his hips stutter, “Come for me then, pretty. Let’s come together”

You moan, fingers unrelenting as you thrum at your clit in tight circles. Your orgasm wracks throughout your entire body when it hits, stomach tensing as your cum coats Jungkook cock, which twitches as he thrusts up into you.

He holds you down on his length, deep groan rumbling through his chest as he shoots his seed into the condom, your walls continuing to milk him of everything he’s got.

“Good girl” he soothes, hands falling to your hips as you fall forwards, cheek pressed against the mat as Jungkook pulls out, thrusting back into you gently.

“Thank you” you whimper, thighs tensing as he pulls himself out of your sodden pussy, folds glistening creamy white.

✯ ✯ ✯

Everything feels right. The two of you tucked into Jungkook’s bed after a shower, both your hands roaming one another’s bodies.

You’d clung to Jungkook’s back as he’d cooked you both dinner, work-out long forgotten as you’d both worked up an appetite. Muscles too sore, too achey, to even think of carrying on anything that isn’t wrapping up warm in each others’ arms.

It’s strange how so much, but nothing had changed. You still danced around each other with practiced ease, hands still feathery light, skimming over hips and backs, where legs are tangled under blankets, cold feet on warm skin.

There was something mellow in the air, a film of freedom, hearts on your sleeves for one another to see, where kisses felt softer, deeper in promise and love.

All the ‘I love yous’ holding the right weight, both understanding that the love you feel is the right kind of love.

He’d thought about it a lot, from the day you’d both confessed; messy, but a confession nonetheless. (And he had made sure to ask you to be his girlfriend in a more romantic setting than his spare room turned gym). That maybe the time growing up as just friends wasn’t wasted.

Failed relationships and sticky breakups simply teaching the two of you the right way to love.

Learning the give and take of relationships, what it truly meant to be in love with another person. Where you want nothing more than their happiness, a pure sort of adoration that consumes your entire being until they’re always on your mind. Small, seemingly insignificant parts of life reminding you of them. Trinkets in corner shops or the changes in season, certain smells, textures of clothing.

Learning about what you want for yourselves and how to take care of one another.

So he doesn’t regret all those years spent as just friends. Because maybe the two of you were too young, too eager, too scared about something as precious as true love. Growing up together, as just friends, might have brought the two of you closer than rushed first loves and petty arguments that you’d look back on and regret.

Red string. Stars. Fate. Destiny. Any of it. Jungkook doesn’t know what brought the two of you together, two souls intertwined until you both part ways when your lights flicker out. Though he thinks you’d reignite them wherever the two of you end up later on, new lives, new worlds. New everything, where he gets to learn about you all over again, explore your being, as you explore his, and you’re moulding into one another once more.

He wonders how long you’ve both been laying there, lips pulled up into lazy smiles, kiss swollen; little galaxies reflected in both your eyes.

Where every glistening star is a reason as to why you love each other. Your galaxies shining with a million different reasons, moonlight no longer veiling what lay beneath.

Because Jungkook thinks, if people were made of stardust before they were born. There’s no doubt in his mind, the two of you were made from the same star.

💫 like, reblog, and feedback is encouraged!! thank you so much for reading <3

taglist: @koikooky @fandems @guesswhatimthinking @slut-formattsun @satisfied18 @apollukee @scastro95 @happygolucky7777 @jjkw-7 @taeboludo @fairy-jaykay @jeonjjks @exactlygreatcoffee @itzz-me-duh @jkkkkkay @starstruckfangirls @tornparts @seoqity @straykidsmaxident @bebejungkook @twilight-love-nochu-main @chimmisbae @redeyezbloodymouth

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#bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #bts x reader #bts fic #bts #bts x female reader #bts non idol au #bts au fanfic #jungkook friends to lovers #stardust

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lo1k-diamonds · 2 months

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How to Choose a Valentine 💜

PAIRING: idol!Jungkook x You (You can also read it on AO3)

SUMMARY: Who knew the best company for Valentine's Day would be a lovely Doberman? And who knew he'd get you a Valentine? Well, sort of.

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

GENRE: fluff and light angst

RATING: Teen (for cussing and drinking)

WARNINGS: drinking, kissing and making out while drunk (consensual), hangover, lapses of memory, misunderstandings, JK handles everything well, Bam is the center of this story, the cutest baby, and maybe a cupid, should fill your 💜 with fluff but wdik

A.N. I wasn't even supposed to write this. This is what happens when I wake up at 4 AM and can't sleep. Then I think, Hmm, I read lots of lovely fics yesterday about Valentine's Day. What would I do if I wrote one? X hours later, here we are. I just roll with it at this point, it's almost a way to deal with writer's block 😅 Enjoy 💜

You snorted at the reel playing on your phone while your hand petted gently between the black Doberman’s ears. One girl smashed the phone camera while repeating ‘Girls don’t want flowers for Valentine’s Day’, while another immediately shyly said that yes, she’d like flowers. You scrolled; another of a guy guiding his significant other over a trail of petals; you scrolled, another of a guy explaining how he asked a girl to become his Valentine. Another, with the type of girls on Valentine’s Day and you smirked. Which one were you? Definitely not the spoiled girlfriend, you were single. Not heartbroken, you hadn’t dated for a while, or a heartbreaker. You chuckled; the only guy in your life at the moment was that sweet Doberman sleeping on your lap and you weren’t about to break his darling heart.

The next options were single and fine with it, anti-Valentine’s Day, and Galentine’s Girl. You supposed you were fine with it but had hoped not to spend it alone, hence why you were at your best friend’s apartment. What you thought could be a day of eating and having fun together turned into dog-sitting because she needed that favor. Something along the lines of the usual sitter being ill and her needing to find someone to do it, and you were available.

You could think of more depressing ways of spending your day. You put your phone down and petted the short fur between the dog’s closed eyes, knowing he was utterly relaxed under your touch. He was the cutest thing and you had a blast walking and playing with him all day. You checked his training and he was responsive, though testy of the limits, and you made sure he understood that he had to listen to you. During your second walk, he behaved so well and was rewarded so much that you thought he wouldn’t have an appetite for dinner, but he surprised you. And now he was sleeping soundly and you didn’t want to get up, but it was time for your own dinner. Maybe you could cook something up for you and—

Your phone buzzed and you checked it; speaking of the devil.

[It’s taking longer than expected so I’ll eat here. Treat yourself sorry see you soon! 💜]

You sighed. In the end, you were going to spend it with that cutie as your Valentine. You stretched your arms and shoulders, pressing your fingers to your neck before gaining the courage to slide under the Doberman. He wasn’t pleased and adjusted his head to get back on your thigh.

“No, Bamie. I gotta eat something, come on.”

You slid again and turned on the TV as background noise before getting to the kitchen and checking your best friend’s fridge. You decided to eat a bit of everything that you could find and got set to eat on the sofa in front of the TV. Not even five minutes in, you became sort of annoyed — stupid Valentine’s Day ads. You told Bam firmly not to even think about snatching your food before you focused on streaming something instead. A corny and sweet romcom should be fun.

And you had dinner as you laughed and cried with it until a scene came up where the main character cried her sorrows over a bottle of soju and you thought, Why not? You had nothing planned the next day, at least you could have a drink.

You started with a single soju bottle, but as the episodes played and the night passed, you didn’t stop. Eventually, there were empty bottles of beer and soju and you were feeling dizzy, despite being sat down on the couch. Your last reasonable thought was to turn off the TV, the only source of light in the room, before holding on to Bam as if he were a pillow and falling asleep.

It was the sound of bottles clicking that disturbed your sleep, and your instinct was to wrap your arms closer around the fluffy dog, “Bam.”

He was wiggling his tail like crazy, and in your haze, you connected that to the bottles falling over. Not to the extra dip on the other side of the chaise longue.

Perhaps it was the fact that you heard your best friend’s voice in the distance that relaxed you, not quite registering that it disappeared after the front door closed. It was only when a different scent hit your nose that you started connecting the pieces: Bam was squeezed between you and someone else, their hand touched your arm ever so slightly while they petted him, and that musky scent was from a man.

You opened your eyes, confused by your conclusions, but not at the top of your game — a quick nap was not enough to make you sober.

“Who are you?”

Bam’s tail kept wiggling as he seemed busy facing opposite from you, looking at the person who answered you, “Who are you?”

He sounded sleepy and you couldn’t see him properly. The city lights from the window were enough but you were still too hazy.

“I asked first,” you voiced, rubbing your eyes. He didn’t seem willing to respond quickly enough, but you could feel him still petting Bam, so you sulked. You wrapped your arms around the pet harder, “Bamie is mine!”

Instantly, a new set of arms did the same and tried to steal him away, “No, he’s not! I’m his dad!”

“And I’m his mom!” The man scoffed and you raised your chin proudly. “Don’t believe me? Look.”

You let go of Bam and scanned around, seeing where you could put your feet safely in between the bottles. Then you got up and walked a bit unsteadily across the living room, standing next to the window. You could see the shape of the man all in black, including his hair, looking at you from his comfortable position with the sweet Bam happily smelling around.

He could see your expression, your baggy tee shirt falling over you and covered with cartoons, but he only cared about Bam staying in his arms. Because of course, he would.

“Bam!”

He gasped when Bam jumped from his embrace to get to you, frantically wiggling his whole body before lying on his back over your feet. He gaped as his Doberman showed his belly, happily licking your face and squirming under your belly rubs.

“Such a good boy,” you cooed, grinning from ear to ear.

Then you straightened up and snapped your fingers and Bam got up too, easily following you back on the couch and splaying himself belly up in between you and the man.

“There you go,” you murmured, scratching his belly and up his chest much to Bam’s delight.

It was when Bam squirmed that his snout ended up under the man’s chin and you saw him clearly for the first time. Then he spoke and you smiled.

You woke up with a groan, drool all over the pillow, and a headache to make you want to run for the hills. But then you sat up, confusion still scrambling your brain as you eyed the bedroom.

“Bam?”

You waited but the sound of paws scratching the floor didn't grace your ears, so you got up from bed and searched for him. You looked everywhere, calling for him every few seconds, but he didn’t come out and you couldn’t seem to find him. In fact, there was no one else at home but you, which made you befuddled — where was your best friend?

Your hangover was deadly, it was trying to pull you down with a headache the size of the world. And so you beelined to the bathroom and stripped hastily to get your head under the water and try to wake up gently.

But there was no gentleness to be found when suddenly you remember something — there was a man. Yes, but— You— kissed?

Suddenly, you were flooded with the memories of you kissing, his gentle hand cupping your jaw, your trembling breath when your tongues touched. The foreign thing that ended up being a lip ring that you felt with your tongue. The way the kiss deepened, and your legs got tangled even beyond sweet Bam lying in between you.

You were hyperventilating, “What?!”

You did what?!

Did you kiss a random man? On your best friend’s couch in the middle of the night? Or did you hallucinate him because of the alcohol?

Suddenly, it came to you — he tasted of beer, and you told him as much.

You felt him smile against your lips, “And you taste of strawberry soju.”

You remembered chuckling before kissing him again, burying your fingers into slightly overgrown strands of hair that curled around your hand.

You rubbed your face under the water; you kissed him. You were both drunk, and you couldn’t remember everything, but you pressed your lips to—

You stopped breathing.

You were feeling his shoulders and pulling him close when Bam started licking both your faces, which made you both break away and laugh.

“I have to pee,” you had said, getting up.

Before you could be mortified about having said that to a random guy, you recognized that after you went to the bathroom, you forgot about getting back to the couch. Instead, you went to bed on autopilot and fell asleep. Because you were that drunk.

Well, thankfully. Otherwise, what could have ended up happening? You were not in your right mind, you could barely remember his face aside from his eyes and lip ring. You were crazy, nuts, and shouldn’t drink that much again.

You got out of the shower and got dressed quickly with more lenient thoughts. Since only kissing happened, it was okay. No harm no foul.

Your stomach was adding to the problem, but you still decided to take headache medicine before your phone buzzed and you grabbed it.

[Meet me at work and have breakfast with me?]

You agreed and got your stuff to go to her. The subway trip was twenty minutes but it was alright at that hour. The HYBE building was in a very busy area, so to already have a direct line there was a blessing.

You gave your name at the reception to get a visitor pass and went to the floor she indicated, smiling when you saw it was a cafeteria with breakfast all around.

She met you at the door and walked you through it before sitting down and watching you eat your broth carefully.

“Lots of people need caring for this morning. Funny what Valentine’s Day does to some people,” she was amused, though her expression screamed exhaustion. “If they’re in couple they drink together, if they’re single they drink alone. There’s no escape, is there?”

You were looking down apologetically until you could talk, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I… raided your fridge.”

She sighed, “I know, I saw the bottles on the floor. Hence why you’re here, to have a power breakfast.”

“What happened yesterday? Why didn’t you come home?”

Your best friend heaved a deep breath, her spirit hanging on by a thread, “My artist went to a friend's dinner last night and got drunk. I got his driver to get him home but they had an accident,” she sighed. Your eyes widened in alarm, but she raised her hand swiftly, “They’re both alright. This all to say that after my meeting got lost into late hours, instead of going home, I had to go and manage that situation.”

“That sucks…” You thought back to the previous night, unsure of how to introduce the topic.

“By the way, thank you for taking care of Bam. My artist and I really appreciated it—”

She was interrupted when a spot of black dashed for you, barking the instant you took a second to acknowledge his presence. You instantly smiled despite the horrid headache the noise was making and reached to pet him.

“No, Bam! No eating!��

“It’s not the food,” your best friend pointed out jokingly, dismissing the manager nearby who tried to admonish the pet.

You were happy to give him all the cuddles that were making him go crazy and whiny; you were happy to see him again too. It instantly pulled memories from the previous night into your mind and you wondered again how to bring it up with your best friend when a voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Bam.”

Bam was licking your hand happily, yet instantly darted away at the call, and you knew before you looked up. It was him. You recognized the longer hair you had gripped, the lip ring, and the eyes. The sweet yet searing eyes.

He got near your table and bowed to you both before starting a light talk with your best friend about the schedule for the day.

And you blinked, wondering why his eyes set on your best friend’s face, or rather why the whole situation felt like a gut punch. He must have been the artist your best friend was referring to, the one she managed. You wouldn’t know, she was secretive about who it was. But the way he was ignoring you couldn’t be mistaken. He didn’t acknowledge you more than that bow, but why would he? You knew who he was.

The moment your lips grazed in a slow kiss while his hand gently supported your jaw came to mind and you blinked in astonishment. You couldn't believe it happened. Even as you remembered opening your eyes the moment he pulled away a few inches to breathe and looked straight into your eyes. It was impossible. Even if you were both drunk, how—

“Excuse me.” The three of you turned to the lady in uniform. “No pets are allowed in the cafeteria,” she bowed respectfully.

It was easy for you to get up, “I’ll take Bam to the rooftop garden.”

You grabbed his leash from the man’s hand without touching him and he let it go, a bit startled. Not that you noticed; you stepped away and called for Bam, who followed you swiftly.

Jungkook stayed behind, eyes still on you leaving with his dog until you were out of sight.

“She’ll take good care of him.”

He turned back to his manager and nodded, “I know.”

His manager was ready to use every argument she had to convince him, so she chuckled, “Funny how yesterday you were borderline going nuts over a stranger taking care of him and now you’re so relaxed.”

He nodded and looked back at where you disappeared with his Bam. You were not a stranger.

“What’s that look?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing ever so lightly.

He pressed his lips and nibbled a bit on his lip ring, but then looked back at her, “When you left me at your place… something happened.”

A mix of fear and ‘oh no’ crossed his manager's face and he sat across from her where you had sat before, ignoring your tray and half-eaten food.

“We were both drunk,” he started, expecting her not to believe him, but she just nodded. “And Bam loves her. We just—” He filled his lungs with air, pushing it back out anxiously as his tattooed hand ran across his hair, “We joked around that I was Bam’s dad and she was his mom. Then, that we were both alone, nowhere close to having a Valentine, and that maybe Bam was our cupid. Instead of meeting and making a baby, the baby— made us—” He became crimson and hid his eyes for a second, then he faced her again, “We were drunk!”

“You said that,” she deadpanned firmly. She was his manager, she needed to know things in black and white. He knew that.

“So we joked. Maybe we should get together, and we kissed.”

Her eyes doubled in size, “Oh no, you didn’t!”

“We just kissed!”

Her features hardened, “Tell me right now. Tell me the truth.”

“It’s the truth! I swear, we kissed— for a while—” His ears were becoming red, “And then she went to the bathroom and I fell asleep.” His manager’s expression had not changed a millimeter, and his eyes became pleading. “You have to believe me. You woke me up and I was alone with Bam.”

“That’s true,” she acknowledged, finally heaving a breath. “Shit, this is my fault. Leave two drunk people alone, and see what happens.”

He frowned, “I don’t just go around kissing people, even when I’m drunk.”

She faced him, “That is also true.” It seemed clear to her, so he relaxed. “So what happened? Why did you kiss her?”

He blinked with wide eyes, startled by the question. “I… I don’t know.”

He looked down, containing the urge to look back at where you had left with his pet. He didn’t even know your name, he knew nothing except that Bam loved you and you tasted sweet.

His manager waited for a proper response, for any additional information. But when none came, she knew what she had to do. She sighed, “Well. I’ll have to contact our lawyers and draft an NDA. She’s my best friend”, she confessed, rubbing her eyes for a second. “Shit,” was all she expressed before getting up and rushing out.

Jungkook pressed his lips and let her leave. He was confused about the situation, about his actions. He knew so little… Why did he think it was enough?

He put away the trays you and his manager had used while he pondered this. In a way, Bam’s heart meant everything to him. The way Jungkook loved him was unexplainable, he was the only soul in the world he could ever love in such a way. His innocence and instinct were enough, and he listened to you like he only ever listened to Jungkook himself. That shouldn’t have been enough, but it was.

And he was drunk, he sighed, leaving the room. It was his fault, he knew that. He shouldn’t kiss people irresponsibly like that, and now his manager was in a tough spot.

He decided to head for the rooftop and sort this out with you. He didn’t know what to say, but he thought maybe it didn’t have to be a big deal. You two just did it and it was… freeing. There were no inhibitions or second thoughts. It was playful and innocent, and then your lips touched. He didn’t know it would feel like that, he hadn’t thought it through. But it felt so good. It created shivers, made him hot, curious, awake, alive. He had no questions, no doubts, it was like jumping out of an airplane and freefalling. It was like the wind was guiding him to fit together with you, there was nothing in him telling him to fight it.

He got to the rooftop and immediately saw you across the garden sitting on a bench with his manager, and your best friend, next to you. Bam saw him too and raised his head and ears, but he was busy grabbing a stick that had just fallen on the floor and bringing it back to you. Jungkook could have expected him to drop everything to greet him, but Bam didn’t.

His manager was explaining something to you and your eyes were glued to the floor, expression closed except for the line between your eyebrows. Only when Bam brought you back the stick and you threw it again, did you look up. Jungkook was walking closer yet slowly, not meaning to intrude, and you had thrown the stick almost right into his path. That was why Bam happily gave it to him instead, and he crouched to pet his baby while his eyes stayed on you.

Your eyes turned away when you said something. He couldn’t hear it from there, but he knew the words out of your mouth were cold. He recognized his manager trying to have you reconsider or change your mind, but your eyebrows drew closer as you bit something back and just got up and away.

You didn’t look at him as you walked in his direction towards the exit. You planned to pass by him without a word, a mix of emotions inside you that you preferred not to address. And yet Bam was what forced you to change your mind when he lit up at your presence. He looked for a pet from your hand and you immediately halted, unable to punish that sweet pup because of his dad.

Still, the words slipped the seam of your lips somewhat bitterly, “Are you a baby?”

“What?” He blinked, eyes wide as he straightened up.

“You kiss someone and your first instinct is to threaten them with NDAs?” You were frowning with a hint of contempt, but your eyes were glistening. You continued before he could say anything, “I won’t sign it. I don’t care what any of you think, this isn’t normal. You regret it? Fine, but then act like a fucking adult.”

He was at a loss for words and movement behind you had him glancing, and so you turned. Your best friend had a serious expression on her, something you imagined was her work persona. Well, too bad you had no sympathy for it.

“No,” you raised a hand before she could say something. “You’re doing your job, and I’m standing up for my principles. I’ll go to your place and get my stuff.”

You passed by him at a hastened pace and the second he turned to say, “Wait!”, the heavy glass door was already closing behind you, muffling every trace of a sound.

He turned to his manager then, seeing the tiredness, sadness, and frustration all over her face as she heaved a deep sigh and hid the tears in her eyes.

His lips twitched with a question, but she spoke instead, “She thinks I’m choosing my job over her.”

“But you’re not,” he instantly said, confused. “This isn’t necessary.”

She sighed, “I’ll deal with this, ok? Get to your shoot.”

She also passed by him quickly inside and Jungkook looked at Bam, who was lying on the floor chewing on the stick with a hard focus. Why were they so eager to get anything done without a proper conversation?

He took Bam with him across HYBE and got inside the car with other managers and assistants. They were waiting for him to continue his schedule, chatting about Bam. It would be difficult to have him on the set, but they’d contact a sitter on the way—

“Take me to Manager Kim’s place.”

“What?” His manager frowned, “Now?”

“Yes, now. To drop off Bam,” he offered, though he knew it was a lie. His manager agreed though because he knew Bam had stayed there the previous day, and being late to the shoot was fixed with a simple call giving them a warning and an apology.

Jungkook left the car first, saying that he’d go and come back quickly, and the team agreed, to his relief. He was upstairs in a beat in front of the right door, yet before he could ring the doorbell, the door opened in front of him and something crashed into his chest. His heart jumped and his hands darted to support your arms as you recoiled back, and then you looked up at him. Such beautiful big and expressive eyes, and he knew then he would have wanted to kiss you anyway.

You broke away from his arms and moved to go around him. He didn’t miss your frown, but he didn’t hesitate, “Can we talk?”

“I’m not going to sign it,” you insisted as you turned to him, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. “But you don’t need to worry, that doesn’t mean I’ll talk about it. I’m not like that.”

He nodded once, “Okay. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

You paused, “Oh.”

Your features smoothed in confusion and he was happy he caught your attention, “Can we go inside?”

You shrugged but walked back inside. You petted Bam gently between his ears then put your backpack down on the floor. By then, Jungkook had released Bam’s leash and closed the door. The sweet baby darted to the water bowl and your lips curved before his dad drew your attention away.

“I don’t regret it,” he said, and your eyebrows jumped. “You keep saying that, but I don’t. And I didn’t ask Manager Kim to do this either, I suppose it’s standard procedure or something. I wouldn’t know. But she’s just doing her best because she feels responsible.”

You were skeptical, “You wouldn’t know?”

“No.”

You found that hard to believe, but you didn’t insist. It had nothing to do with you. “Why would she feel responsible?”

“Because she’s in charge of me, I guess. Managers tend to feel like that even when we are, in fact, not babies.”

Your lips twitched at his choice of words.

“So don’t get mad at her. After this, I’m going to tell her to stop it. I don’t want this NDA thing, and neither do you. It’s not necessary,” he sighed. He had told his manager that before, but maybe if he insisted, she’d get it.

You nodded.

“And thank you for looking after Bam,” he finished with a smile. The Doberman had jumped on the couch a bit carelessly, but he was calm. “He’s usually nervous around strangers, but he loves you. You might really be his Mom for all he cares,” he smirked, watching as you stepped to the side to pet Bam. “And I wouldn’t… separate him from a person he loves. If you’d like to see him again.”

Your cheeks instantly caught fire as you looked at him. He held your gaze calmly, the only hint of nervousness in his fingers fidgeting. You didn’t think you were misunderstanding him, then.

“I can make time.”

He smiled, “Good.”

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7brownsuga7 · 10 months

Text

Jealousy

Jungkook x reader

Word count: 2k

Genre: smut - minors DNI

Summary: You make your boyfriend Jungkook jealous at a party and he gets you back by fucking the shit out of you in his car

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, explicit language, unprotected sex, & creampie

To tell the truth, Jungkook was never the insecure type. Jelous and possessive, yes, but never insecure. He knew you were for him and no one else, and that’s why he was never wary of you going out with minimal clothing. You looked good in it, too good. Good enough to want to fuck your throat in the bathroom while yours and his friends partied on.

His cock twitched just at the thought of the material hugging your figure, the figure that he loves seeing bent over his lap while his fingers work wonders inside of you.

Your pussy was his weakness.

And you were currently keeping it from him. After a heated argument before the party did you both silently agree to leave each other alone for the rest of the night.

His little hopes of fucking you in the bathroom long gone as you have fun with your friends while he sulks in a corner while his friends banter.

He never minded you going out in your little skirts or dresses, not that you would let him stop you, your attitude and feistiness is what he loves the most. But that would always go away when he’s deep inside of you.

He watches you from across the room, the little black skirt you have on right now isn’t doing to good for the minimal space he has in his pants. You’re with your friends, oblivious to the few men that can’t seem to look away from you.

He doesn’t blame them for staring, but deep down he hopes that’s all they do. He knows you could handle them with your little attitude, but some men don’t back away so easily, and he doesn’t want to have to result in anything that will ruin both of your nights.

Jungkook has a reputation for his temper, it’s something that he’s working on, but with your obliviousness and the men surrounding you, it’s hard to control. Especially when you both have just had a heated argument.

So after a while of watching you as he gets frustrated when a guy approaches you and you entertain him, does he then make a promise to himself that he’s going to make you pay for teasing him.

You always do this whenever you argue, try to make him jealous by talking to another guy when you know he’s watching. Jungkook doesn’t know if you do it deliberately or not, but the sight of you giving your attention to a man other than him makes him feel all different types of things.

He’ll never stop you from talking to a man, he’s not that possessive, but that doesn’t mean he appreciates it. Especially when your innocent eyes look up at the man before you as he hungrily eyes you.

When the party comes to and end, a few stragglers here and there, do you find yourself in Jungkooks car.

You both sit there in silence, you wondering why he hasn’t started the car yet. Your questions are answered when his deep voice sounds over the music.

“Who was you talking to back at the party?”

You watch as his toned body lazily leans against the seat, hair messily tied back in a bun, a few strands loose. His body language is completely opposite to what his tone suggests.

“Jungkook i’m not doing this today, we already done this before the party, let’s not have another” you roll your eyes watching as he looks at you with his unbothered posture.

He licks his lips and moves the fallout hair out from his face.

“You attempted to make me jealous and now that you’ve succeeded, you’re mad? Baby, just answer my question”

“We just talked, don’t make this into a big deal”

Maybe you were oblivious to his true intentions, he doesn’t really give a fuck about what you spoke about because he knows he’s going to be buried deep inside of you before the night ends.

The other guys can look at you and dream of you all they want, but he will be the one to enjoy the taste of your pussy, he will always gets the last laugh.

“Get in the back seat”

“What? Jungkook take me home”

“Y/n I’m not playing, get in the back seat”

You watch his eyes lower in warning, daring you to say anything else.

You hide a smirk as you shuffle your way to the back seat, making yourself comfortable as you spread your legs open for him as he watches you in the drivers seat, bottom lip between his teeth.

It’s like a little game to you guys. Argue and then fuck, you knew it was coming eventually, you just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

He makes his way to you, watching your pussy hide behind the lacy underwear you wore tonight.

Such a little tease he thinks.

Soon enough you both have swapped positions, him sitting on the seat and you on top of him, your clothed pussy throbbing against his hard cock that surely shows under his jeans.

You decide to slowly grind back and forth to relieve yourself of the friction you crave.

Jungkook softy hisses, looking up at you with hunger and admiration. Your eyebrows are slightly furrowed as you continue to grind against him. Your black skirt now hunched above your waist.

He takes this opportunity to play with your soft ass as you eagerly kiss him.The taste of alcohol is still evident on his lips which only makes you deepen the kiss.

“Pull me out” he grunts after you both come up for air.

You smirk at him, lifting up a bit so your hand can access his zipper, he helps you with this task as you evidently move slower than he would like.

Your pussy clenches around nothing when you see the sight of his thick throbbing cock.

You move your hand slowly up and down his length, savouring his reaction as he deeply moans at the touch. Your thumb rubs against his tip, just before you decide to lift up again and direct his dick towards you wet cunt.

Panties to the side, you lower yourself slowly down his length, your wetness helping you through the process as you take him in.

“Fuck” you both say in unison.

Your eyes close as you sit there on his lap with his full dick inside of you, a slight burn as he fully stretches you out.

“Look at me princess” his deep voice sounds through the dark car.

You open them and watch him in all his glory. A slight smirk on his pink lips, his eyes never leaving you, how could he? He wants to see every little thing, the way your eyebrows slightly furrow, to the way you bite down on your plump lips. He can’t miss it.

His hand comes up behind your neck, guiding you towards him as he kisses you again, this time more rougher, more sloppier.

You slowly lift up with his cock still inside of you. With your added wetness the burn is only faint which then eases into nothing as your pace quickens.

He’s catching your moans in his deep kiss, hands on your ass again as he helps you with the pace.

“You gonna continue to make me jealous?” He grunts as his tattooed hand delivers a smack to your ass which is followed by a whiny moan from you.

His pace quickens, him doing most of the work as you simply can’t take anymore.

You shake your head as you use the headrest in front to help support you as his cock continues to pound inside you.

“Use your words” he watches you turn into a full mess, your breasts almost spilling out of your top at the quick pace he’s giving. Your whiny moans are like music to his ears, only egging him to go harder.

“No! I won’t make you jealous Kook. Fuck! Oh my god!” You slump against and clench around him in pure ecstasy as his cock continues to pound in you. His balls slapping against your ass adding to his perfect melody.

The wetness of your pussy makes its way down your thigh and onto his jeans as you whimper against his chest.

“Kook please fuck, right there”

“You like making me jealous huh?” He coos in your ear as his pace slowens but his movements become harsher. “Just so I can fuck you like this?”

You hurriedly nod, not really listening to what he’s saying as all you can focus on is his cock that’s working wonders inside of you.

You’ll never be able to get enough of his dick.

But despite your thoughts, your words betray you when you say; “Baby please I can’t take it”

“You want me to go slower?” He watches you with concern as you sit up and look at him with a soft pout as you nod your head.

“Go at your pace baby”

You put both of your hands behind you on his knees for support as you grind back and forth at your pace, the sound of your wetness can be heard throughout the car, that just eggs you to keep going.

“Mhh fuck” he moans as you keep grinding.

You start to slowly rise and go back down again at your pace while Jungkook fondles with your breasts over your top.

You stifle a moan as you continue riding him slowly, the added pleasure of him playing with your tits makes your head spin.

“Fuck baby you’re taking me so well” his arms grab your waist as he scoots down the seat a bit to further comfort himself. He takes control, still making sure that he’s not too rough and fast, because although he wants to pound you like crazy, he also doesn’t want to hurt you and push you further than your limits.

Your moans fill the car along with Jungkooks deep grunts as he feels you clenching around him again as your orgasm slowly approaches.

His large hands stroke up and down your back as he thrusts his hips up into you, taking your breath away.

“J-Jungkook please” you almost stand up not being able to take anymore, despite your approaching orgasm.

“You can take it, take it for me baby”he continues at his slow pace trying his hardest not to to take full control.

He catches your moans in his kiss again as he slightly lifts you up and down on his lap, his cock hitting your spot as you let out another whimper.

“You’re doing such a good job Princess”

“Jungkook”

Your orgasm is approaching fast and you know his is too, by the way he begins to sloppily thrust his hips into you.

“I’m here, I’m right here baby” he pants as you play with the hair that’s found it’s way on his forehead.

The way he intensely watches you as you both come to a simultaneous orgasm is just enough to send you through the roof as your words get stuck in your throat and you look up at the roof of his car in euphoria.

“F-fuck” he grunts as you feel his cock twitch inside of you. Your pussy repeatedly clenches after your orgasm, making him slightly hiss.

You watch him with pure lust as you both come down from your orgasm, both of you looking like a fucked out mess. Sweat dripping down your clothed bodies as well as both of your cum that’s slowly making its way down your thigh.

“Jealousy looks good on you”

2K notes · View notes

mangowillow · 15 days

Text

last to know | ch. 2: as always, even now

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader / kim woosung x (f) reader

summary: you and jeongguk got together at 16 years old, married at 20, and divorced at 21. what was once love ever after turned into nothing but pain and unfulfilled dreams. you keep going despite the pain in your heart that never really went away, until one day, jungkook comes back— to seoul and in your life.

general story tags: divorce au, childhood friends, angst, hurt & eventual comfort, kind of a slow burn, OC is an adopted child in this fic, a lot of flashbacks later on because context is important; and the others that a lot of people seem to dislike: a love triangle and a LOT of miscommunication. look away if this isn't your thing. tags and warnings will be updated as we go along with each chapter!

warnings: mentions of weight loss and a hospital, jeongguk has a panic attack (semi-detailed), problematic parent-child dynamics. let me know if i miss anything and please be kind!

word count: 5.3k

author's note: *peeks into the void* why hello there! let's pretend i didn't disappear off the face of the earth. earlier this year i went to see The Rose live for their dawn to dusk tour and it was so much fun! there's just a lot of things that have happened and continue to do so; please accept my sincerest apologies for being inconsistent! BUT. know that i haven't forgotten about this story. heh.

also a few more things: ♡ to put things into perspective: jeongguk, OC/reader, and woosung are all the same age; that also means they're as old as seokjin and yoongi in this fic. all the other members maintain their age. honorifics may or may not appear at times. if that bothers you, well, can't please everybody! ♡ this fic isn't beta'd nor proofread by anyone. we go rogue, always.

tags for interested readers will be open for as long as this fic is ongoing! let me know in the comments or message me, whatever fits your preference!

fic masterlist

Woosung plants a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek and giggles.

Looking at him, you ask, “What was that for?”

“Do I need a reason?” Woosung teases as he chews on his jjajangmyeon. You chuckle at his candidness and reach out to wipe the sauce that landed on the corner of his lip. The both of you resorted to sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes, using one of them as a makeshift table to place the food.

“I’m really happy you got to come today,” you muse, enjoying Woosung’s calming presence as he delicately places a piece of chicken karaage on your noodle bowl before setting his own down. You haven’t seen him for a few days because he needed to get some new music done in preparation for his application to a recording agency as a performer and a producer. You were more than happy to support him in any way you could, including giving him his space to figure things out. It was also who Woosung was— a quiet soul who liked working in solitude.

You and Woosung are so much alike.

“Why? Did you think I’d forget?” Woosung teases, a smirk playing on his lips.

“No, I just thought… maybe you needed more time to prepare for your application. That’s important.”

Woosung gently shakes his head, ready to disagree— “Nothing will ever be as important to me as you.”

A slight pink dusted your cheeks. You didn’t expect him to be this cheesy so early in the morning so you smile and cast your eyes back down to your meal.

“... I do have news for you, babe.” Woosung starts. He turns his body to face you. Giving your hundred percent attention, you cut the noodles with your teeth and place the bowl down. Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you hum at his statement, “What is it?”

Woosung smiles and looks at you lovingly. You feel a bit self-conscious every time he stares at you so intensely and like clockwork, you feel your cheeks heat up.

“I got the job, sweetheart.”

Hearing the news leave his lips leaves you surprised— your hands fly to your mouth and your eyes start to water. “R-really?” Woosung nods and chuckles through his own teary eyes, you throw yourself at him to give him a tight hug. “Woosung, oh my god— this is— “ you hold him by the shoulders, explore every inch of his face, elation in both of your hearts— “this is great, oh gosh I am so happy for you,” you hug him again.

You feel Woosung’s body relax instantly in your hold; it has been a journey, walking with Woosung through his own painful moments struggling with his art and passion. Two years ago, he came to Seoul desperately needing a break from life and music after many unsuccessful attempts to make it into the music industry back home in the United States. Although he and his bandmates have put out several songs in the past, they never really gained as much traction with an audience as they had hoped. Going back home to his roots in South Korea also meant leaving his bandmates behind— they have been nothing but supportive of him and his time as they also needed to re-assess their own lives and figure out what they truly wanted.

Two years ago, Woosung also met you. Both your lives changed ever since.

“Thank you for all your support, ____… you know I wouldn’t have been able to get through all this if it weren’t for you.” Woosung whispers, tightening his hold on your waist. You feel this, you feel everything when it comes to him— so you wrap your arms tighter around him, too. “This is all you, babe. This is all your hard work.”

You both stay that way for a while. Unspoken words are left hanging, as well. You both know well what might become of all this as you always try to communicate. You believe it is what has sustained your relationship for so long.

Both of you know that Woosung will always belong to music— it’s his dream and the reason why he took so many risks along the way. It was only a matter of when. The possibilities have always been there— should there be a moment where Woosung would return to his career, to his band, to becoming a global star. The fears that come along with those possibilities were also ever-present: what you and Woosung’s future would look like.

All of these thoughts come rushing to the both of you, but neither of you said anything.

For now, the both of you are happy. And that is enough.

When you parted from each other, you pushed away some of the hair that fell over Woosung’s eyes. “When do you start?”

Woosung takes a deep breath, “As soon as the higher-ups get settled in. I’ve been told they’ve recently landed in Seoul so it shouldn’t be too long now. I’ll be meeting with the owners and one of them is the lead producer. I heard he was a genius, but also a bit scary. They’ve also given me a signing bonus and a potential collaboration with him… that was new… he said they liked my work so much…”

“Wow, that… that sounds so exciting, baby. How are you feeling about all of this?”

“I’m nervous, for the most part,” Woosung murmurs, readjusting the collar of his shirt. It’s been a while since I talked to someone else about music professionally and… this company— I’ve heard so many wonderful things about it. For one, it was built by musicians, too. So I’m hoping they’re not just doing all of it for the business.”

You smile warmly at Woosung and hold his hands. “You’re going to do great, you know that, right?”

Woosung draws in a breath and nods before meeting your eyes.

That night, Woosung couldn’t sleep. He watches over you as you dream and when a strand of your hair falls on your face after moving a bit, he tucks it behind your ear. His fingers lightly dance while grazing the side of your face. Woosung sighs as a feeling of anxiety starts to creep into his heart. He loves change, but he cannot help but feel somewhat scared about it anyway. He gets so lost in his thoughts about you that he doesn’t notice you wake up.

“Baby, hey… you’re still awake.”

Your voice brings Woosung back to the present. Seeing your sleepy eyes under the sliver of moonlight that passes through your window makes his heart do a mini somersault— it always does.

“Hmm… I couldn’t sleep,” Woosung says. You scoot closer to him, his arm going under your shoulders to support your body in an embrace.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” you whisper, eyes closed, inhaling his scent— him.

“Just… things. I’m not sure how to articulate them yet…”

You hum, “Then I’ll just stay like this with you to keep you warm… warmth helps you sleep, right?”

Woosung nods, bringing your body closer to his. “Hm… especially your warmth.” Seconds later, he feels you breathe deeper, letting him know that you’re about to let yourself succumb to sleep once more. “I love you.”

When no response came from you, Woosung closed his eyes. Then suddenly, in the stillness of the night, he feels your hand squeeze his ever so lightly.

“I love you, too.”

“Hyung, I think that’s the salt—” Jimin starts.

Seokjin snorts, stopping with the shaker in his hand mid-air, “What do you mean, Jimin-ah, I think I know the difference between salt and sugar.” He was about to potentially put salt on the croffle in front of him, leaving Jimin feeling both very nervous and distressed.

“Last time, I remember you put the sugar in a different container because a customer accidentally broke the original shaker. The color of the cap was blue, not red. This—” he pointed at the shaker Seokjin was holding, “— is obviously not blue.”

“Yah, that happened last week, but I already switched them out two days ago—” Seokjin tries to argue.

They didn’t notice Woosung enter the cafe until he spoke, “Why don’t you just taste it?”

“Oh hey, Woosung-hyung,” Jimin greets.

“Hey, Jimin. Good to see you,” Woosung replies as Jimin nods, his eyes turning into crescents as soon as he smiles.

Seokjin scoffs once more before greeting Woosung, but he relents and tastes whatever is inside the shaker. When he makes a funny face, Jimin and Woosung chuckle.

“Told ya, hyung. Tell us I saved your life.”

“I can’t believe this is salt, I knew I already switched it out—”

With possible disaster averted, Jimin doesn’t listen to Seokjin’s monologue anymore, “You’re here early today, hyung. Would you like to order the usual?”

“Actually, I am here to buy a mango parfait… ____’s fridge is crazy cold and the frozen mangoes are, well, too frozen. I might actually break the blender. I also forgot to make her usual overnight oats. We had to move a lot of things very quickly yesterday so she could have a bed to sleep on.”

“I got you, hyung. We just finished making a fresh batch of parfaits. Do you want one, too?” Jimin asks.

“Are there other flavors?”

“Blueberry and strawberry,” Seokjin adds.

“I’ll take one blueberry, then. Thanks.” Woosung gets ready to pay, but Seokjin waves him away. “It’s on the house.”

“You always give us free stuff, Seokjin—” Woosung tries to argue, but Seokjin shakes his head immediately.

“Taking care of my sister is more than enough, Woosung-ah.”

Woosung gives Seokjin a tight smile and nods. Seokjin then asks, albeit softer, “How is she doing lately?”

“She’s doing better,” Woosung reassures. “She has been painting more recently; not just because of her job at the university, but also at home. We’re going to set up her studio today so it should be fun.”

“That’s good to hear, right hyung?” Jimin turns to Seokjin, who nods. Jimin hands Woosung a paper bag with the parfaits. “I put some new desserts we’re experimenting with. Please give them a try.”

Woosung peeks at the paper bag and sees croissants and greenish muffins, presumably matcha-flavored. “Oh wow, thank you Jimin… I won’t take up too much of your time, guys. ____ is still sleeping and I need to clean up the mango disaster I left on her kitchen counter before she wakes up.”

Seokjin chuckles, “You really came all the way here for parfaits when you could have bought these anywhere near ____’s apartment.”

“Ah, but nothing beats your parfaits, Seokjin. A wise man once told me that,” Woosung smiles. He and Seokjin instantly formed a bond the moment they met two years ago, much to your relief. You’ve always been nervous to tell your brother anything remotely new about your love life— and you understand where he is coming from.

“Well whoever that wise man is must be pretty smart,” Seokjin replies. His eyes soften right afterward. “Go. Let’s have a drink sometime, yeah?”

“Sure thing,” Woosung waves goodbye to Seokjin and Jimin.

Jeongguk walks the hallway of the recording studio, still groggy from sleep. Hands in his pockets, he stood outside Yoongi’s door, staring at his peculiar mat: a cat with its middle finger raised, the words ‘fuck off’ glaring at him. Figures, he thought. A doormat won’t stop him from ringing Yoongi’s doorbell, though.

“Who is it?” he hears Yoongi call out.

“It’s your favorite person in the whole wide world,” Jeongguk says, sarcasm lacing his voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose; a habit he developed in college whenever he felt the exhaustion seep out of him. He hears scuffling from the other side of the door until the sound of the door’s automatic lock rings. Jeongguk sees Yoongi clad in a plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and a gray beanie— his signature style.

“Dumbass,” Yoongi mutters under his breath before turning his back to return to his equipment. “Good morning to you too,” Jeongguk teases as he closes the door behind him.

“How are you already set up? It’s barely a day since we arrived!”

Yoongi chooses not to respond.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Jeongguk asks in disbelief. “Please tell me you at least went home to get your shit sorted? Or maybe sleep like normal human beings do?”

“I did… for a brief moment, maybe?” Yoongi starts.

Jeongguk shakes his head, “You have to stop spreading yourself thin, Yoongi. It’ll be the death of you.”

Yoongi fiddles with a few knobs on the synthesizer before muttering, “That doesn’t seem so bad— spreading myself too thin, that is.”

Jeongguk throws his hands up in surrender and rolls his eyes.

“Have I succeeded in frustrating you to hell and back, yet?” Yoongi smirks while continuing to flit his eyes through the numerous screens in front of him.

Jeongguk was about to say something but then the door alarm clicked. Kim Namjoon’s head peeks out from behind the door.

“I came to say my welcome remarks,” Namjoon says as he lets himself in. Jeongguk’s mouth falls open because he couldn’t believe Namjoon could just easily waltz in without any resistance. What’s even more astounding was that he knew Yoongi’s passcode— while he, on the other hand, had to ring the fucking doorbell.

“Oh, great. So your boyfriend knows your passcode and I don’t?” Jeongguk asks.

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” Yoongi states, matter-of-factly. Jeongguk couldn’t help but glance at Namjoon’s way, who seemed unfazed.

“Right, and I’m Neil Armstrong,” Jeongguk plops down on the couch.

“You’re the CEO, Jeongguk, of course, you should know the passcode… right, Yoongi?” says Namjoon, ever the oblivious one.

Yoongi continues to do work on his computer, his fingers deftly flying across his keyboard, “Don’t encourage him, Namjoon.”

Namjoon looks back at Jeongguk who has now taken an interest in the plant beside the couch. When they met each other’s eyes, Namjoon just shrugged, his dimples showing.

“How was your flight, you guys? I hope everything was easy peasy.”

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Jeongguk responds. “Not sure about Yoongi here though. He looked like he was about to puke.”

“Shut up,” Yoongi retaliates.

“I can’t imagine the both of you tolerating each other while in another country. It’s a miracle this production company is still standing upright,” Namjoon says chuckling.

Namjoon met Jeongguk first in university while they studied in New York. Although Jeongguk was a business student and Namjoon double majored in music theory and composition, they ran into each other at a frat party-— with Jeongguk being drunk off his ass. He was about to fall into the pool full of piss (which the other frat members thought was funny) when Namjoon saved him in the nick of time.

Apart from Yoongi, Namjoon also served as Jeongguk’s confidant, especially after things went south between you and Jeongguk. When the dust settled and Jeongguk was sober enough to realize the gravity of his mistakes, Namjoon helped Yoongi pick up the pieces of Jeongguk’s brokenness. As with time passing by, Namjoon and Yoongi started to develop into something more, too. Much to Jeongguk’s delight and envy.

However, neither Yoongi nor Namjoon has admitted their feelings to the other. And truth be told, Jeongguk is sick of them dancing around each other.

But he also knows it’s none of his business.

“Hey, Jeongguk, is that family dinner of yours still happening tonight?” Yoongi decides to ask. Also probably to change the subject.

Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh. “Yes, it is.”

“Ouch. Will you be alright?” Namjoon asks out of genuine concern.

“I don’t really have a choice.”

“You always have a choice, Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi inserts. “You just need to work on making the right ones.”

Jeongguk slacks his jaw and runs his tongue across his lip ring. He doesn’t really have an answer to that.

Because once again, Yoongi was right. Not just about the damn family dinner; Jeongguk also knows his best friend’s words run deeper and imply a whole lot more than just feeling forced to sit down with his parents over steak and champagne.

“See you on the other side, then,” Namjoon says as he pats Jeongguk on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Jeongguk mulled over bringing flowers to the family dinner but decided against it.

He knows that the house would be filled with them, anyway. And his efforts won’t matter, either.

As he got out of his car, a chauffeur was already by his side ready to take his keys for him. When the car drove off, Jeongguk took a moment to look at the house he hadn’t lived in for years. It feels odd to come home; it feels even odder to feel numb about all of it.

It took Jeongguk a few seconds to ring the doorbell; for god’s sake, it was his house too, he thought. Ringing the doorbell meant he was a stranger— which he felt was appropriate.

He was greeted by a new housekeeper. He gave her a nod before stepping inside. Almost instantly, his mother appeared at the top of the staircase. They look at one another for a moment, before his mother breaks the silence.

“You finally decide to show yourself.”

Jeongguk doesn’t move. Doesn’t respond, either. He was prepared for a stare-off match with his mother, but that was until his father showed up from the kitchen. With a dish towel in hand, Jeongguk’s father smiled at him as he placed a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“It’s so good to see you, son.”

Jeongguk, once more, doesn’t have it in him to respond.

At the dinner table, the silence was so loud, that Jeongguk thought it could break glass.

“Did you settle in fine, Jeongguk?” his father asks.

“Yes, father, I did.”

“You should have chosen a place that was nearer to us, Jeongguk,” his mother chides.

“Honey…” Jeongguk’s father tries to put out a fire that is about to ignite. Jeongguk, on the other hand, was so tired from the flight and emotionally, that he felt a need to retaliate.

Because why not? Whether he speaks up or not wasn’t really up to him. Between him and his mother, he has nothing to lose.

“I don’t know, mother, I chose that place because I wanted to get away from here as much as possible.” Jeongguk remarks. He knows he hit a nerve because his mother downed her champagne rather than respond.

“How is the company going, son? Everything doing alright?” his father asks, trying to mitigate a conflict that neither of them could recover from.

“I guess. Yoongi and I haven’t managed to burn anything so that’s nice,” Jeongguk eats a spoonful of mashed potato. He knows he really needs to shut up and regulate his emotions, but he just can’t help but be sarcastic.

Once more, the silence won. However, Jeongguk’s mother is the type to not back down.

“You should think about getting married soon, Jeongguk—” she starts. Jeongguk feels himself grow cold as if on instinct.

“—and this time, we want you to marry someone your level,” she finishes. Jeongguk felt his heart twisting so painfully that he didn’t notice how tight he held on to his cutlery.

Jeongguk swallows the once-repressed pain that used to consume him whole. He knows this is futile because he never dares to face his regrets square in the face. Instead, he allows the pain to make him angry. He allows his resentment to consume him in ways he doesn’t know how to handle and in a pained effort to avoid causing further damage, he remains quiet. Unresponsive. Cold. Withdrawn.

But his own mother is even more cold-hearted than he is. She is the one who made him like this.

It’s her fault.

“You need to marry a good woman who can keep up with your social status. Remember you’re not just anyone, Jeongguk. You’re a Jeon. And you have a legacy to uphold,” his mother condescends.

Tears start to sting Jeongguk’s eyes, but he doesn’t want to let his mother win. So he keeps still.

“I have a few prospects for you, dear. We should set dates for them, don’t you think so? I chose the most refined and educated—” Jeongguk hates how his mother knows how to push his buttons and hurt him.

He knows that his mother knows his ultimate weakness.

You.

And because his mother cannot contain her insecurities and prejudice, she projects it all on her son. But most especially, you— whether you were in the room or not.

Jeongguk’s mother continues her monologue. His father miserably fails to become the referee (he always does). Heat starts to rise Jeongguk’s neck and he swears he could hear his own blood pumping through his ears. What almost immediately follows is the high-pitched ringing that only he can hear.

Jeongguk starts to feel dizzy; like he’s about to lose control.

But instead of releasing, instead of crying, instead of getting angry— he does none of them.

He finds himself standing up, his hands dragging the plate full of food to the ground. With all his might, Jeongguk tries to breathe deeply.

“That’s enough, mom.” Jeongguk croaks. A tear escapes his eye. “Please.”

Jeongguk rarely addresses her as “mom”. But in times of vulnerability and helplessness, it’s the term he ends up using.

“As I expected… you are still weak, Jeongguk.” his mother states with absolutely no remorse.

Jeongguk feels like he is about to throw up. To save himself, he drags his legs to leave the dining area. Housekeepers try to help him, but he brushes them aside. Security guards around the house up until the gate tried to support him, but Jeongguk just waved them all off.

He just needed to get away before his vision completely blurred. He needed to get out of this godforsaken house.

It was a miracle that Jeongguk got far away from the house as he had. But in doing so, he felt physically weaker and weaker. His mind isn’t done with him yet as thoughts of you start to resurface. His chest starts to tighten again. He feels cold and afraid and tired.

Jeongguk falls to his knees on the side of the road; he allows his body to go limp and fall to the ground.

He barely remembers what happened next.

When Jeongguk opens his eyes, bright, stale lights greet him.

He hears beeping, faint footsteps, a voice over an intercom.

He feels something brushing his leg so gently that it takes him a while before realizing that someone is standing over him, wiping the edge of his slacks.

Jeongguk squints his eyes to get a better look at the person touching his leg. When he tries to elevate his upper body, the person in front of him feels him moving.

Jeongguk couldn’t believe who he was seeing. His panic attack must still be happening because it was impossible.

It was you.

“Oh… hi,” you start. Jeongguk is at a loss for words so he continues to stare at you.

You immediately feel self-conscious so you start to wrangle the damp cloth you were holding.

“Are you okay? Hang on, I’ll call the nurse—”

You start to leave, but Jeongguk catches your wrist. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. You look at his hand on your wrist before Jeongguk lets go of it.

“W-what happened?”

“You’re at the hospital… um, I– I got a call from them saying you were here,” you say.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows met. He is still confused as to how or why the hospital would call you. As he looks at you, in the flesh, in front of him, the familiar ache in his chest threatens to overwhelm him again.

You look as beautiful as ever, even more so than the last time he saw you. The last time he did, you were crying to him. He did that to you. That was his fault.

“Are you hurt, anywhere, Jeongguk? I think I need to call your doctor, just give me a second—”

“No… please. I’m okay. I don’t feel any pain.” Except for my broken heart.

“Oh… okay.”

Jeongguk observes you, more particularly your hands. You still have that habit of fiddling with your fingers when you didn’t know what to do, he thinks.

“H-how did the hospital call you? You didn’t change your number?” Jeongguk is a hundred percent sure his choice of questions was dumb, but he doesn’t have any idea as to why you’re here.

“The hospital told me I was your emergency contact… they uh– they only found your wallet on you and found this,” you explain as you handed him his wallet. Inside was an old piece of paper with your emergency contact number and e-mail address.

“The e-mail address is now defunct, but my number is still the same because I had it reactivated when I came back here…”

When I came back here, Jeongguk repeated to himself.

Jeongguk wanted to ask you a million questions, but his throat feels dry and he is unable to speak.

“I um, I also called Yoongi. He should be here any minute,” you continue. When Jeongguk looks at you funny, you give him a small smile— the first one you’ve given him since he woke up. “We talk sometimes.”

There is a lot of information that Jeongguk needs to process but his head hurts a lot and he makes a mental note to interrogate his friend later.

You move to grab and open the plastic bag that is on the bedside table. You pull out a pair of black socks. Jeongguk sees you hesitate a bit before speaking again.

“I got these across the street… your socks got wet from the rain.”

“Oh.” Jeongguk feels really dumb.

“May I?” you tentatively ask. “Your feet will get cold if we don’t—and you have the IV on so you won’t be able to use your hands—”

“It’s okay…” Jeongguk’s response startles you. “Thank you.”

You nod and sit by his feet to put on the new socks. Jeongguk feels the tears again but he tries to hold them back as he feels your touch and your warm fingers graze his bare, cold skin. When you’re done putting them on him, you smile to yourself.

“Does that feel better?” you ask.

Jeongguk nods and hums. He took his time to look at you and to his mild surprise, you reciprocated. A sense of stillness seemed to occur like time stopped just so Jeongguk could fully take in the sight of you.

He hurriedly tries his best to memorize all your features—old and new. Your face is smaller, your cheekbones higher; both indicative of you losing a bit of weight since he saw you last. Your eyes are softer, but also more tired. You also grew out your hair.

To Jeongguk, you are still so beautiful.

And he missed you so much that his heart hurt again at the thought of losing you.

“How are y—” Jeongguk tries to ask, but the door to his hospital room slid open, revealing a disheveled Yoongi.

“Jeongguk, are you okay? What happened?”

Jeongguk notices you quickly moving aside to give Yoongi room.

“I’m fine, Yoongi. I guess I just passed out and—”

“You had another panic attack, Jeongguk. That’s the second time this week. Have you taken your medication?”

Yoongi’s string of questions had Jeongguk feeling anxious. He just had the unexpected chance of seeing you again but under the most dire circumstances. Surely, it wasn’t the time for you to hear about his mental health issues.

“Yoongi, can we—” Jeongguk tried to save face, but Yoongi was faster.

Yoongi turns to you and hugs you. “I’m sorry, ____, you must have been so confused.”

“No, not at all, I’m… I’m glad I could be of help,” you reassure. More so for Jeongguk because you know this must be very awkward for him.

A bit of awkwardness did happen because none of you spoke for a bit. Your phone ringing was the only saving grace.

“Hello? Oh, okay. I’ll be right out,” you answer the other person on the line. Hanging up, you say, “Um… I should get going.”

“Is someone picking you up?” Yoongi asks.

“Yes, Taehyung’s just a few minutes away,” you answer.

Yoongi nods and pulls you in for another hug. He whispers his thanks and you respond by hugging him tighter.

You also approach Jeongguk a little closer. “Take care of yourself, Jeongguk.” You see the pain in his eyes, but you refuse to acknowledge it to yourself, even if Jeongguk’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears and his nose was already pink.

Jeongguk doesn’t want you to go. But again, he has no choice but to let you.

“You too, ____.”

As soon as you close the door, Jeongguk allows his tears to fall.

As soon as you get into the car, Taehyung asks his questions.

“Why the hell did you just come out of a hospital?”

“Tae—”

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? You’re the only one there? What happened?” You can feel the panic rising in Taehyung as he inspects you, but you just chuckle.

“Yah—you laugh?”

“I’m fine, Taehyung,” you tell him but he doesn’t look convinced. “I really am.”

“Then why were you in there?”

“I saw Jeongguk again, Tae,” you calmly respond.

Taehyung freezes. “You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not,” you answer.

“And you’re… are you okay?”

“I am.”

Taehyung knows you better than that but he gives you a pass because he could also tell you were tired and your short answers mean that you didn’t want to talk just yet.

“Do you want to talk about it over ice cream and fries?”

For a second, you felt tempted, but you just also wanted to go home. “Maybe some other time, Taehyung.”

Taehyung understands immediately and nods. “Should I take you to Woosung hyung or do I take you home?”

You do want to see Woosung because you know he is what you need, but you also don’t want to burden him with a bombshell of an event so you opt to be alone for the night. “Take me home, please.”

“Okay, ____,” Taehyung answers.

The rest of the car ride was a quiet one.

The short walk in the hallway leading to your home is a heavy one. As you punch in your passcode, you deeply sigh. You want nothing more than to collapse on the bed and ruminate on what just happened over the past few hours.

However, the moment you open the door, a wave of delicious scents welcomes you home. As you take off your shoes, you see a familiar pair. You smile to yourself as you place yours beside it.

You enter your home further and see Woosung with his back to you, working his way in the kitchen. As if on cue, Woosung turns around and walks toward you.

“Hey you,” you say with a smile.

“Hi,” Woosung responds, gathering you in his arms and pulling you into a tight embrace. “Did you have a good day, today?”

You feel yourself swallow once before nodding. Woosung, ever the sensitive boyfriend, holds you tighter.

You know you can’t hide from him. So you hold on to him tighter, too.

And you allow yourself to break down and cry.

Woosung feels your body shake and he runs his hand across your back to soothe you.

He may not know what’s going on right now, but he also knows you will talk to him when you’re ready. So he continues to embrace you; kissing the side of your head after a while.

Woosung whispers against your ear, “You’re safe with me, sweetheart.”

taglist: @whoa-jo @nays2112 @junecat18 @jk97bam @butterymin @smdnai

tags for interested readers will be open for as long as this fic is ongoing! let me know in the comments or message me, whatever fits your preference!

#jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook x you #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #bts au #bts au fanfic #woosung x reader #jungkook divorce au #divorce au

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prodagustd · 7 months

Text

the road not taken | myg

Summary: To have the job you’ve always wanted and the life you’ve always dreamt of you had to break a few hearts, including your own. Four years later after running away from your home, your family and friends, you realized that maybe you fucked up; you’ve been a bad daughter, a bad sister and a bad friend. Getting your shit together seemed difficult enough, you didn’t expect that it included facing the first man who ever broke your heart: your brother’s best friend.

part one: back home

part two>

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, slow burn, flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 12k

—a/note: literally finding the courage to post this rn because yesterday i had an identity crisis and i wanted to delete everything!!! but i hope you like it more than me <3 feedback is very much appreciated, if you want to be on the taglist pls let me know!!

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago.

In your almost twenty one years of life, you never had to spend the holidays without your eldest brother, you were never prepared for that. All the attention of your family was fixed on you now, making you feel like you were an only child for the first time. It felt weird, but nostalgic, like you were waiting for him to enter through the door at any moment. You supposed it was going to happen at some point, opening the gifts with just your mom, sitting on the front seat of the car for the first time while listening to christmas songs on the radio, only to arrive to your grandparents’ home and attempt to survive the questions of your future alone, that didn’t sound fun at all.

Simon, your eldest brother, didn’t die, by the way, he just got a girlfriend. A girlfriend? Yes, a girlfriend, that word wasn’t part of his vocabulary, or at least it wasn’t a few years ago when he left for college, but now all of a sudden he had a serious one, the kind who invited their boyfriends to spend the holidays with their families. Now Simon wore knitted sweaters, drank black coffee and listened to all the bands your uncle liked, he grew up, or something like that, but you didn’t think he grew up enough to get a girlfriend, to fall in love. Well, you hoped he was in love, you didn’t meet the girl yet but you hoped he was, at least that was what he said.

Yes, Christmas without your brother sounded a bit sad, but New Year’s eve on the other hand… didn’t sound so bad.

If your brother’s absence would’ve happened years ago, you would’ve planned this the same way as always, getting drunk with your highschool friends at the only decent party that there was in your hometown around that time, only this time he wasn’t going to be around to tell you to stop drinking or to take the joint off your mouth when you failed to hide from him to smoke weed. But this year you got sick of all that, you got sick of the same faces from highschool and all the girls who approached you just because they wanted to fuck your brother, or all the girls who fucked your brother’s best friend, maybe you got sick of the same music, the same party, the same people. This year you felt like you were seventeen again, too afraid to wish that something different could happen, maybe this time you weren’t coming home alone after watching Yoongi giving the first kiss of the year to some random girl, maybe this time your heart wasn’t going to hurt that much.

Yoongi, your brother’s best friend, was painfully always there in your life, you didn’t know how the mess that was your brother was able to have such a good friend, they knew each other even before you were born, when they were only four and met each other at basketball practice. Yoongi was always like your brother’s conscience, the voice of reason, the calm one, the designated driver ever since he was sixteen, the smart one, the boy every mother wanted as their son. Yoongi was the boy who helped you with your math homework when you were eleven, he was the boy who defended you when your brother made fun of you, the boy who gave you his joystick so you would stop crying when you found out your brother was making you play with the one that didn’t work. He was sweet and kind with everybody, you wished you knew that when you were twelve so you could save yourself the eternal heartache that came along with being in love with a man who only saw you as your brother’s little sister.

Yoongi was always mature, always wiser, always older. And you were always immature, always stubborn, always younger. Just a brat who couldn’t stand the fact that he was the only one you wanted, but the only one you couldn’t have.

Maybe forgetting about him when he went away to college was the best thing that happened to you, you pretended he didn’t exist during the school year and made yourself believe you got over it, that your heart didn’t jump every time you called your brother and you heard his voice in the background, that you didn’t read every birthday message he sent you since you were sixteen until you memorized them, that you didn’t compare every guy to him and that you weren’t annoyed when you realized that none of them was half as intelligent as him. You were obligated to pretend you weren’t condemned to look for his face in every crowd ever since you were a teenager. All that mental effort was wasted away when you came back home for the holidays and saw him sitting on your couch again.

You repeated the cycle every year as you pretended that your heart wasn’t tired of it, like seeing him that morning in your kitchen didn’t make your heart drop like you were twelve years old again.

It began when you heard voices coming from the second floor, an outburst of laughter, your mother’s laughter, and then the laugh that echoed so many times in your dreams, were you still in a dream? You thought you might be in one when you entered the kitchen and saw the long figure of the man, the long figure of Yoongi, sitting on a stool as he peeled a tangerine and listened to your mother talk, but the minute they noticed your presence they fell silent.

Two pairs of eyes landed on your sleepy face, making you aware that you were wearing your old pajamas, the one that was pink and had a bunny pattern all over it. You locked eyes with him and it felt like it hadn't passed a day since the last time you saw him.

“What are you two gossiping about so early?” You wondered out loud, slowly approaching the aisle of the kitchen, slowly approaching Yoongi, whose hair was slightly shorter from the last time you saw him and whose cheeks were still red from the cold outside. You arrived three days ago, confidently thinking that even if your mind was a mess at least you didn't have to see your brother's best friend's face.

In your mind, you cursed your mom for always telling him that he will be forever welcomed in her house.

“Why do you care?” He spat at you, following your figure with his eyes as you sat in one of the stools beside him. “That’s between your mom and me.”

“Dude,” You said under your breath, grabbing a tangerine from the bowl of fruits in front of you “You have to get a fucking girlfriend.”

Your mother frowned, annoyed, but Yoongi is too used to you to do anything else but laugh.

“God, darling, you barely open your eyes and you’re already cursing.” She complained, shaking her head in disapproval. You shrugged, pretending to pay full attention to the tangerine in your hands.

“It’s fine, Lila. I can handle her.” He said, carefree as ever.

You scoffed, “Yeah, sure.” You played it cool, as if that didn’t make your heart jump a little. “What are you doing here, anyway? Weren’t you supposed to come back for christmas?”

“Why?” He asked, “You want me gone?”

You saw a stupid smirk appear in his face, the same one you’ve seen countless times in the past. It seemed to be the only thing that could put out your cocky attitude.

“Don’t be stupid.” You managed to answer, running away from his eyes.

You heard him sigh “I finished early, I arrived last night.” He answered the question, reaching his hand under the counter to pinch your thigh, as if that could shake off your bad attitude, plot twist: it only made it worse. “That’s what I was talking about with your mom, I left Simon behind while he was still dealing with exams.”

“Such a good friend.” You joked.

“Maybe… But hey, he’s the one who ditched me for a girl after all.”

“Well, if it’s a pretty girl you can’t blame him so much.”

“If you say so…” He hissed, rolling his eyes “What about you, huh?” He changed the topic “What are you doing here two weeks early?”

“You see, this is my house.” You quickly replied, putting the first tangerine segment between your lips to avoid saying the truth. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.

Of course there was a coherent reason for why you weren’t in school right now, but since you arrived you couldn’t seem to quit the bad attitude, especially in the mornings, it was driving you crazy.

“You shouldn’t ask, dear.” Your mom intervened, turning around to wash her mug previously filled with coffee “Sensitive topic.”

Yoongi’s eyes shifted to you again, as well as his whole body, curiously raising his eyebrows.

“Sensitive topic.” You mocked your mother, annoyed that she used such words. She was quick to disappear from the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone. You wondered if she was already tired of hearing you whine.

“Don’t think I won’t ask you about it.” He smirked, stealing a segment of your tangerine just to annoy you.

Oh, you were sure he would want all the details.

“Whatever.” You gritted your teeth. “You only came to see Lila? I bet she would love to switch you with me.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Yoongi smugly said, ignoring the sudden annoyed look on your face, he was too used to it to be bothered by it. “But as much as I love your mom, I came to see you.”

You blinked, not sure what to say next. Now your angry expression turned into a surprised one, cursing yourself for feeling excited to hear that. You knew Yoongi finished early and was coming back home, you asked your brother about it last time he called you, you were just playing dumb when you asked, but when Simon told you he was going to be in town you didn’t expect to see him in your house the next day he arrived.

“Me?” You tried to confirm.

“Yeah, you.” He said, booping the tip of your nose “Simon told me you’ve been having trouble with your car, I thought I could help.”

You nodded, that made more sense than him just coming to see you.

“Simon is such a snitch.” You murmured.

“I can’t deny that…” He laughed, looking at you tearing apart your tangerine and putting another segment between your lips, “Do you… want me to help?”

“Maybe…” You murmured “Do I have to pay you?”

“Maybe…” Yoongi answered, imitating your tone “Or you can just tell me why you are here before the break, I don’t know.”

You squinted at him, knowing it was just a matter of time until everybody found out you dropped out of college, but there was certain relief in delivering the news to Yoongi, something inside you told you he would understand.

“Bold of you to blackmail me when I know you won’t fix my car properly.” You accused him, mentioning that time he tried to fix your brand new car when something happened to it and you had to take it to his uncle’s garage when he made it worse.

“C’mon, that was only once.”

“Let’s not make it twice, then.” You clapped your hands, getting off the stool to walk towards the stairs to your room again “Let me change first. And don’t try to seduce my mom while I’m gone, it won’t work.”

You heard his laugh from behind, and even if you thought about it, you didn’t dare to look back.

Not even five minutes later, you found yourself with him in your cold garage under the dim old light that provided you the tiny room. You supposed it was easier to open the garage door but you didn’t want your fingers to be frozen.

You sat on the old desk in the corner of your garage as you watched Yoongi open the hood of your car, trying not to stare when pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows.

He was wearing a beige sweater that tightened around his shoulders and his waist, Simon told you that he and Yoongi started going to gym lately and you could tell, his back was wider than you remember and you hated how different he looked from the last time you saw him.

You hated to think there were people who saw him everyday and couldn’t tell the difference.

You looked at your feet hanging in the air, hearing him suck his breath just to let you know he was just about to start throwing questions at you.

“So?” He asked, persistent as always.

“So what?” You played dumb.

“So?” He emphasized, not willing to give up.

So? You didn’t know how to start. Serious talks weren’t your thing, and even if you knew that Yoongi wasn’t expecting that from you, you still felt a rush of nervousness when the absence of his voice filled the room, your cue to start talking.

“Mmm… It’s difficult to explain.” You trailed off. “I’m starting to think that I might be the black sheep of the family.”

Your words made him turn his head at you, curious to hear more.

“The black sheep?” He repeated.

“Yeah, I think so.” You confirmed, without saying anything else.

“Fine…” Yoongi scratched the back of his head, a bit confused, something that was normal when he was with you. “You’re not giving me a lot of context.”

You knew this, but making a joke was easier than telling the whole truth. You wished you could tell him jokes until he forgot what your mother told him. But no, your mother already opened her mouth and now you had to explain your life crisis to the man in front of you.

“Let’s just say.. I dropped out of the semester…” You mumbled, unsure of your own voice “but I’m thinking that it is not just the semester, maybe it’s the whole thing.”

Yoongi turned his whole body to you, paying full attention to your words “Really?” He asked, just in case you were joking, but by the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice he could tell that you weren’t playing. You just nodded “Why, though?”

“That’s something I’ve been asking myself.”

“You don’t know?” He chuckled, making you roll your eyes.

“Maybe I don’t know.” You tried to admit, but that was a lie.

“Mmm, but I think you do know, though.” He contradicted you, turning around to keep checking your car.

“Well, kind of… Do you want me to tell you half of the truth or a lie?” You offered him, leaving him without many options.

“Well, you are not very democratic, Pinky.” He scoffed, using the not-so-funny nickname he’s been calling you ever since you were kids. Only Yoongi could still be calling you like some character from an old cartoon that aired twenty years ago. “But I choose the half truth.”

“Wise decision, as always.” You commented, clicking your tongue. “The half truth is… that being a nurse is not my thing, I don’t want to be that predictable, being the bitch in highschool that ended up being a nurse. At least I want to be the bitch in high school who ended up being something else. And I was not happy at college, not even a bit. I don’t think that’s who I am”

Yoongi frowned, trying to process all the words you just vomited. If that was half the truth, what was the whole truth?

“Wait, wait. Let’s go for parts.” He stopped you. “So, now you were a bitch in high school?”

“You know I was.” You said, rolling your eyes.

Bitch was a strong word to call yourself, but to be fair you weren't being the nicest with yourself these past weeks. You stared at him, waiting for him to admit that yes, you were a bitch when you were seventeen years old, but that would be a lie. Yoongi would never have called you a bitch, you did have an attitude, you weren’t the friendliest in the mornings, you weren’t friends with everyone, you treated boys like shit, but you weren’t a bitch to him.

“Isn’t that too… harsh?” He asked softly.

“Isn’t it the truth?” You kept pushing it, but you were crazy if you think he’s going to agree with you.

Yoongi shook his head, taking a long step to break the small distance that was between the two of you so he could be in front of you. As a gentle gesture, he put his cold hands on your knees, it was not an unusual gesture, but it had been so long since you had him that close that you couldn’t help but shiver. “I know you don’t like me getting all sappy, but I hope you know that only you get to decide who you are, and if you don’t think that is a nurse, then it’s not.” He rubbed his palms on your clothed skin, searching for his last words. “But, I must say, I don’t think a bitch is who you are either.”

The cold room suddenly turned warm under his gaze, catching you with your guard down once again. You hated when he turned conversations into something like this, and worse, you hated when you bumped into the ugly reality that surrounded you when his eyes stopped looking at yours. This was not easier than last year, you wondered if it will ever be easy.

“Well, the boys in my class might disagree.” You said, looking straight into his eyes.

He laughed. “Well boys at that age are dumb.”

“Boys are always dumb.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Even me?” He asked, batting his eyelashes at you like he was a little girl.

“Especially you, I bet you don’t know what the hell are you doing right now with my car.”

Yoongi reached out to try to pinch your knees, but you escaped from his fingers. “God, you’re so mean.” He complained

“So mean?” You questioned, moving closer to him and pretending to be annoyed.

“Yeah, so mean” He repeated “But not a bitch.”

You rolled your eyes, watching him turn around again to come back to your car. You can’t help but feel disappointed when he moved away. “So… If you are not a nurse, what are you?”

You tilted your head, thinking about it. What were you? Well, in your room you were a dancer and in your dreams a mermaid, but in reality you were too embarrassed and too afraid, too insecure to admit what “you were”.

“I don’t know.” You hesitated to answer. You loved Yoongi, in more ways that you could ever allow yourself to love him, but you could not tell him all your dreams just like that.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” He sang, mocking you, but from your position you could only resist pushing him into your car. “You don’t have to say it, I already know.”

You quirked an eyebrow, curious. “Do you?” A smirk appeared on your face, but he couldn’t see it, he was still working on God knows what.

“Kind of…” He laughed “I don’t know exactly, but I do know that you are too bright to just be a nurse, with all due respect to the nurses, of course.”

You stared at his back until he turned his head to find your eyes, offering you a soft smile. You mentally cursed him, if he hadn’t turned around you could blush like a teenager without care, but now your cheeks were red and your heart was jumping, the only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t hear it from where he was standing.

“That isn’t very respectful to nurses.” You simply said, and he shook his head, laughing.

“Maybe, but I still stand by what I said.”

“Well, whatever I might be,” You started saying, trying to keep talking with all your feelings still swirling around inside your chest, “I still don’t want to disappoint any more people by making the wrong decision and coming back to live with my mom in six months.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, not because he was mocking you, but because he couldn’t believe how you couldn’t be at least a little positive, how you were only twenty one and you felt like there was no turning back.

“Who don't you want to disappoint?” He chuckled, “I really thought you didn’t care about that stuff.”

“I thought so too!” You exclaimed, just as surprised as him. “But I already disappointed my mom, Simon will be disappointed too when he finds out, I’m sure.”

“God, you’re so wrong, I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now.” He tried to joke, but the feeling of emptiness that had been living in your stomach for the past months didn’t go away just like that. “Do you really think that about your mom?”

“I don’t know!” You said, throwing your arms in the air to be just a little more dramatic that you were already being “But when I told her she made that face that she does when she’s annoyed or upset, now she wants to talk to me about the future every time we sit down to eat, she looks at me like that all the time, like she’s mad with me or something.”

For the past few days you tried to understand your mom, but you failed when you tried to understand yourself. After Simon followed Yoongi to law school, your mom expected you to do something similar, and when you decided to be a nurse she was content enough, both of her kids were off to college now, nothing could go wrong.

Your mom always bragged that she knew you like the palm of her hand, the only conclusion she could reach when you appeared at your house with the news was that you were never happy with what you had, you always had to have something else, something you couldn’t have. And even if you were about to be mature enough to admit she was right, you knew she wasn’t completely. Yes, you were a brat, but you felt in your heart this time was different.

“C’mon, Pinky. I don’t think your mom is disappointed, I’m sure she is just confused. You were two years into college, she must think this came out of nowhere, she’ll have time to understand that it didn’t.” He turned around a pointed a tool hanging on the wall, you didn’t knew the name of it, or what the fuck he was doing with your car, but you handed it to him anyway. “And, she’ll have even more time to understand that you’re not Simon and that her children are two completely different people.”

“Do you think?” You murmured.

“Yes, dummy. And you’re crazy if you think your brother would ever be disappointed in you for something like that, he is the first person that supports you no matter what, he’ll understand that dropping out of college is not the end of the world.”

You stayed in silence, not daring to say a single word after what he said. You wanted to say that you were tired of all of that, how predictable Yoongi was, how terribly annoying it was for him to always be right. How was it that he always knew what to say? Was it so hard for him to be wrong at least once so you could argue with him? So you could correct him and tell him that he was saying nonsense? Yes, it was. You just rolled your eyes, even if he wasn’t watching you.

“You’re insufferable.” You said, when what you really wanted to say was just “thank you”, but he understood.

“Maybe I am.” He laughed, “But at least I’m not the one trying to find excuses to be miserable.”

You watched him put the tools aside and closed the hood of your car, but you were too focused on something else to ask if your car was okay or not. He grabbed a piece of cloth lying next to you and wiped his hands, “What about my grandma?” You wondered out loud, like he knew what to do about that as well.

“You’re seriously not thinking about your grandma right now.” He leaned over your car, with his arms crossed over his chest while shaking his head disapprovingly. If it was any other guy doing that, you would have told him to get the fuck away from your car, but Yoongi still had his sleeves rolled up, which made you think it was okay for now.

“But I am.” You answered “I can already picture her face when she finds out, I can already hear the comments of her neighbor’s daughter, how she’s on her fourth year of medicine and I’m going back to square one again or some shit like that. The worst thing is that Simon is not here, so I’ll have to endure all of that alone.”

Yoongi was run by logic most of the time, so it was hard for him to understand how fast your imagination flew, but he knew that was part of your very theatrical self. It wouldn’t hurt him to become a little more like you, maybe being a rational person made him more intelligent, but sometimes made him more of a fool.

“And since when do you care what your grandma thinks?” He laughed, “She will always have something to complain about, to impress her you would have to be born again, but this time blonde and with blue eyes. Do I need to remind you again, that woman doesn’t have a loving bone in her body?”

“God, stop.” You sighed, fully knowing he was right.

“You stop.” He laughed, “Stop trying to make everyone happy but yourself.”

“Well, maybe that’s the hardest thing to do.” You murmured.

“Getting your shit together is the hardest thing to do, but I’m sure you’ll get there.”

Believing Yoongi surely is not the hardest thing to do for you, but when it comes to believing in yourself is a whole different thing.

“Says the man who always has his shit together.” You snorted “Difficult to believe you.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, moving from your car to sit next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk “That’s not true.” He tried to deny it.

“Yeah, sure.” You bumped his shoulder “Name one time you couldn’t balance your personal life with your academic life.”

Yoongi straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest and pretending to think about it.

“Mmm… Right now?” He murmured.

“Right now?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yeah, look at me.” He pointed at himself. “I don’t think I have a personal life at this point, all I could think about was finishing early to come home to my mom so I could take care of her, and guess what?”

“What?” You asked, curiously.

“She told me she already planned a trip with my aunt for both Christmas and new years. She ditched me, and now? I’m alone, I’m starting to think my personal life was just my mom.”

You covered your mouth, not being able to hold yourself back before bursting in laughter. “She ditched you?” You laughed, but he nodded, annoyed that you’re laughing at him. “Oh my God, she got rid of you.”

“She got rid of me.” He affirmed.

“Lucky her, honestly.” You teased him “Isn’t that proof enough that you have to relax with her? You’re in college worrying about her health and she’s here organizing trips with her sister.”

Yoongi shook his head, still in denial, “Maybe, but she can’t do things like this without letting me know first.”

“Why not?” You scoffed “She’s an adult, isn’t she?”

“She’s an adult, but I’m her son.” He huffed “And that’s all I’ve ever known to do, care for her.”

“Well, you can take care of her at the same time you take care of yourself.” You reminded him “I’m sure that’s what your mom wants as well, she would be pissed to know you’re forgetting about your own life being busy worrying about her.”

Yoongi knew you were right, he knew that more than anyone but still couldn’t help but worry about his mom. She had her siblings, who always knew how to take care of her, but he always felt like it was his responsibility as her son to do it, no one could take that thought off his mind. The only reason he brought it up was because you asked, but it was not a thing he wanted to discuss right now, he could put his social life on pause if that meant his mom was going to be okay.

He turned his head at you, offering you an amused grin as he ruffled your hair with his hand, willing to change the topic. “Why are you scolding me? I’m supposed to scold you.”

You pushed his hand off you, “I don’t need you to scold me, I have enough with my mom.” You sighed “Besides, if it were a competition, I would win. At least you have a future, I’m more fucked than you.”

“No, yeah. I’m sure of that.” He teased you back “You just have to make up your mind, I know it’s a mess inside there but I believe you can do it.”

“I hope so.” You said, and this time your words are sincere. “But for now the plan is to survive the holidays, then I can get my shit together.”

Yoongi laughed, sitting next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk. “Sounds like a good plan to me.” He agreed. “And you know, about christmas…”

“What about christmas?” You asked, at the risk of looking so visibly lost in his eyes.

“I was thinking… Since I don’t have any plans for Christmas…” He hesitated to say, lengthening the syllables of his words. “I was thinking… If you want to, I can go with you in place of your brother. You know, so you won’t be alone.”

The offering took you off guard, among all the things Yoongi could tell you, (the realistic ones, not the ones that only happened in your dreams) that was the most surprising. You had spent Christmas with Yoongi in the past, but your heart jumped at the thought of him spending Christmas with you, and not with your brother. Was he serious?

“Really?” You asked, afraid that he could see the excitement in your eyes “Would you do that?”

“Of course.” He smiled, “We can talk shit about your grandma together.”

You can hardly hide the smile on your face, you have to suppress the immense urge you have to hug him. “In that case, I would love it if you come.” You dared to admit “I mean, you owe me that for fucking up my car again.” You pointed at your car, already knowing that he couldn’t fix it.

He closed his eyes shut, throwing his head back “God, I’m sorry.”

Present

You had been wishing to sleep in your childhood bedroom for the past two months. You had been wishing to lay under the baby blue covers, have your mom kiss you goodnight and sleep a nap long enough to heal your heart.

You had been feeling like you were thirteen again for the whole year, thirteen and completely clueless, thirteen and scared, running home because you just saw your brother’s best friend kissing a girl at the bus stop, hiding under the covers and trying to forget that you were thirteen and there was no way he could ever see you the same way as that girl.

The last time that you visited your mom’s house was a year ago. You texted her every week, sent her and your brother gifts and tickets so they could see you in the current play you were in, but visiting her house was harder than it looked for you. You managed to come once every few years for thanksgiving, telling your mom that you were busy and that theater life was like that, but the truth was that after so many years you still couldn’t find the courage to spend more than two days in the town you grew up in, not after everything, not after Yoongi.

After so long, you were back where you started, running home after hitting a wall. The life you built with your own hands, the life that was supposed to be your dream turned out to be a lie, the boyfriend of three years you thought you loved was now gone, and the only person who ended up breaking your heart was yourself.

When was the moment you stopped calling you brother every three days? Or when you stopped showing up at every birthday? When was the moment you got so far from the person you used to be? You weren’t thirteen anymore, you were twenty five and just now you realized that no matter how many shiny people you have around, you are still alone and far from home.

Now you were headed home, with a bag full of clothes in the trunk of your car, prepared to install yourself in your mom’s house for the rest of the winter, determined to get your shit together, just like you thought you did a few years ago. Oh, how you wished you didn’t have to do this, how you wished you weren’t a complete mess. You wished you could enter your mother’s home and ignore the fact that you didn’t remember when was the last time you told her I love you, but to be fair with yourself, you didn’t remember the last time someone told you I love you either.

Your mom knew you were coming, she was the first one who knew about your break up with Ian, your boyfriend, so she was assuming that you were sad and heart broken, and even if that was true, it wasn’t because of the break up, you were the one who left him.

You didn’t know why, but you assumed that Ian understood what your relationship was, a sad pact that benefited both of your acting careers, a good image for the media, both of the most successful young actors being allegedly in love, and for you, just an arrangement to avoid being alone. How surprised you were when he got down on one knee and proposed, with his mom’s ring on one hand and a bunch of your so-called friends hiding in the distance, preparing to celebrate when you were supposed to say ‘yes’. He had a smile on his face, convinced that wasn’t the worst idea that ever crossed his mind. You thought it was clear that you never wanted to marry him, you believed you found someone who loved you enough not to leave you alone but not enough to marry you. God, you sounded crazy, but that was what you became, a superficial celebrity whose whole life was calculated enough so people thought it was perfect.

You felt like shit when you had to say no to Ian, but you had no other option. Everything was so fake it made you want to throw up, and on top of that, he was the asshole who didn’t even bother to invite your family to, what was supposed to be, your engagement party. If you were to say yes, where was your mom to hug you? Or to tell you that you were being mental for marrying someone you didn’t love? That was the moment when you knew you were about to lose it, that’s when you knew that if you stayed there you would’ve lost your mind, and you were so close to doing it, the only thing that finally woke you up was a marriage proposal.

You turned right, immediately recognizing you were close to home. You had to start doing things right, but where do you begin?

Four years ago

When you arrived home, the realization that almost every person in your life had found someone except you hit you. It started when your best friend, Emma, finally got a girlfriend last summer, then it followed with your brother spending the holidays with his new girlfriend, and now, to your complete surprise, you had to find out that even your mother was seeing someone for the first time in years.

Yes, at first you thought it was going be to weird to see your mother leaving you every afternoon to have dinner with her new boyfriend, -whom she refused to present to you just yet-, but after the first week of cooking for yourself to sit in the kitchen island and eating while watching a random youtube video, you realized it was not weird, but it was making you feel extremely lonely. Love seemed to be everywhere around you, but not for you.

That afternoon you helped her do the groceries, but she had already warned you that, once again, you were going to have to cook for yourself since she was not going to be around tonight.

All your friends from home were still away and they weren’t coming back for another two weeks, so you were almost completely alone in your hometown. And without you wanting it, only one particular name swirled in your mind, wondering if he was as lonely as you were, which he probably was, but you didn’t want any part of it. You were still trying not to look around too much in the grocery line hoping to see a familiar face, forcing yourself not to look up when you knew you were passing his street. You promised that you weren’t going to wait to see him again, as if that way you could prove something to yourself.

You expected Yoongi to disappear only to see him again the day before Christmas, you were sure he wasn’t going to appear at your doorstep like that morning, it wasn’t going to happen, you convinced yourself of it. Because of that, on the way home when you were riding in your mom’s car as you came back from the store, you thought that maybe you were just hallucinating when you saw him waiting in your driveway.

Your mom got down from the car first, you watched her giving him a hug and then observed them talking, you were sure he was going to offer to help with the bags and you were sure your mom was going to smile and accept his help. Your mom loved Yoongi, and Yoongi loved your mom, you could see it. When Yoongi was a kid and his mother had to spend long days at the hospital your mom always opened the doors of your house so he wouldn’t be alone. Like you, Yoongi grew up without a dad, so his mom was lucky to have your mom to look out for him when she wasn’t around.

You mustered courage and got down, surrounding the car to get to the trunk where the bags were and finding him with his arms already busy.

“Hi, Pinky.” He let out and in the cold you could see his breath. His nose was red and his eyes crystallized from the weather.

You barely got to open your mouth to greet him before your mom spoke. “Yoongi was looking for you.” She told you as she headed to the porch.

“Really?” You wanted to know, just in case your mom was lying, for some reason.

“Yeah, really.” He answered, watching you grab the last two bags and closing the trunk of the car. “Do you have any plans tonight?”

Your heels suddenly dug into the ground, making you stop dead to check if you heard that right. Yoongi didn’t notice, he started to walk backwards, heading towards the door as he looked at you and invited you to follow him. You took the first step, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react. Did you have any plans tonight? For a second your mind went blank, completely forgetting you had a date with Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn at nine pm.

You avoid his gaze, trying to come up with an answer. “Do you have any friends?” You asked. Classic you, insulting him in case he noticed your face was two seconds away from burning red. You heard your mom grunt as she entered through the door, but Yoongi just laughed.

“Do you?” He attacked back, smirking “Going to the store with your mom on a friday night, I thought you were popular in high school.”

“I was not, you must have confused me with my brother, we have the same nose.” You scoffed, walking with him to your house “And I do have friends, they’re just not around.”

“So you don’t have plans.” Yoongi confirmed for himself, letting you enter through the door first.

“No, not really.” You admitted, leading him to the kitchen to leave the bags on the counter. “Why? Did you want to take me out?”

The question was intended to come out as a joke, but it burned on your tongue. You often tortured yourself with those kinds of comments, but his answer was worse than any kind of cruel joke you could’ve made to yourself.

“Yes.” He said, leaving his bags next to yours. “That’s what I was thinking before you made fun of me for not having friends.”

You stayed quiet, pretending to look for something in the bags, pretending you weren’t screaming in your mind. Why on earth was he here? Why was he torturing you this way? You were enough of a mess, the last thing you needed was this, bringing you more torment than you already had.

You sighed, quickly coming up with another answer “Sorry I can’t retract myself.” You said. “But what were you thinking that was so important for you to come to my house instead of texting?”

“I was afraid that if I texted you would’ve said no.” He admitted.

You arched an eyebrow “Why?” You questioned.

“Because… I saw that the theater is doing a Christmas special, and they’re showing Home Alone tonight.”

“Which theater?” You asked, but you were fully aware which one was.

“You know, the one near the park with the weird fountains.” He said, confirming what you were thinking.

You wondered what to say next. There you had Yoongi, inviting you to watch a movie with him, ‒your favorite movie to be more specific‒ but at the place you used to secretly go to theater classes when you were thirteen until you finished highschool. You knew the place had those kinds of events where they showed old movies following a theme, as Christmas approached they never failed to show Home Alone as many times as they could.

Would it be so bad for him to find out that you used to be obsessed, maybe still were, with musicals? You never told him about that, let alone about the classes, that was something you used to keep to yourself and no one else, so going out with him meant to out yourself to him. It was inevitable for people to recognize you there, you knew a lot of your friends from back then were still very attached to the place, unlike you, who decided to leave everything behind once you left for college to be someone you didn’t want to be.

“I don’t know, I allow myself to watch Home Alone only once a year.” You tried to excuse yourself.

“I know that, that’s why I came here instead of texting” He said, “But I’ve come up with a solution, I tell you this, we can go and watch Home Alone tonight, and on Christmas we watch Home Alone 2.” He offered, but you felt offended he even dared to mention Home Alone 2.

“I don’t like Home Alone 2.” You reminded him. “I think it’s un-”

“Unrealistic that they lose Kevin twice, yeah, yeah, I know!” He interrupted you, stealing the words from your mouth. “But I like Home Alone 2, I think it’s still a good Christmas movie.” You stared at him with narrowed eyes, pretending to think about it, as if your heart was strong enough to even try to say no to him, even if that meant you had to go back to the place where you used to be a completely different person from who you were in school, and most importantly, even if that meant you would have to watch Home Alone 2. It was painful to admit that you already knew your answer when you saw him in your driveway. “Don’t be boring, Pinky. I’ve already got tickets.”

Just for a moment, while the dim lights of your kitchen lighted up his eyes as they begged you to go with him, you wished you had plans that evening already. You took a second to imagine a scenario where you told him that you weren’t free that night, that someone was going to pick you up later. You tried to imagine his face when you told him that you were in fact going out on a date with some other dude and pictured him heartbroken because you rejected him. But of course that wasn’t the case, your friends from college used to joke around and say that men ran away from you and only the brave ones were capable of asking you out, there was no way you were going out with someone who knew you in high school. And even if that were true, you lived in a reality where Yoongi wouldn’t flinch if you told him you were going out with someone else, a reality where you could never reject him. There was a part of you who enjoyed the pain of coming back to him, of being around him and living with the knowledge that at some point you'll have to get over him.

“Fine.” You finally gave in “I guess I could watch Home Alone 2 on Christmas”

He smiled victoriously, raising his fists in the air like he won some trophy.

You didn’t know what was worse, whether to have him around or not see him at all, you knew that the safest option was not seeing him, but your poor heart didn’t seem to understand that it was for the best.

Present

When you parked your car, you realized you didn’t have the keys to your house anymore. You were sure they were somewhere in your apartment back in the city, but even if you had remembered to look for them, you wouldn’t have found them, you had no idea where they were. It has been a long time since you thought about putting foot in your home, your real home, not the one back in the city, with countless empty rooms you had never used. They keys to your home, where were they? You bitterly laughed as you walked towards the porch, with your bags in your hands and your heart on your sleeve, that was how disconnected to the place where you grew up in you were.

The little pumpkins your mom put on the porch reminded you that the last time you were home was also october. The play you were in last fall was just about to end and you visited home for a weekend just to ask your mom to go and see you for your final performance. You remembered how angry you felt when she told you she and Phil, her boyfriend, had already planned a trip to Scotland for that same weekend. It took you a whole year ‒or even more‒ to realize that while you were busy living your life, your family was doing the same thing, you disappeared for months and they had no other choice but to keep going without you.

You stood in front of the big wood door for a few seconds, feeling like some prodigal daughter, until you decided to finally ring the bell.

As soon as your mom opened the door and you caught the surprised look on her face, you knew you weren’t supposed to be there, at least not yet.

“Darling! What…?” She breathed out as if she had seen a ghost, but to be fair you weren't far from looking like one, you didn’t remember the last time you had a proper sleep. “What are you doing here?”

You shrugged, not knowing if she was joking “I called you on the phone last month, don’t you remember?” You asked. The surprise on your mom’s face morphed into confusion, and for some reason it made your chest hurt a little.

“You told me you were coming Friday the 5th.” She said, but she didn’t move from the door, as if you were about to turn around, leave and come back for the date she thought you were coming.

“That’s… today.” You reminded her.

She frowned, raising her left arm to check the apple watch on her wrist, the one you gave her as a present for mother’s day a few months ago, immediately realizing that you were right. “God, where’s my mind?” She exclaimed, cleaning her hands on the apron she was wearing to grab one of your bags from your hand, finally leaning back to let you in. “Sorry darling, I don’t know what I was thinking when you called me.”

“It’s okay.” You said, more to yourself than to her, closing the door behind you “These days my mind is nowhere near, either.”

“No, it’s not okay. I can’t believe it flew over my head like that.” She kept complaining, taking off your coat for you to hang it on the coat rack “Do you have any more bags?”

You nodded “In the car.”

“Okay, let’s go grab them later.” She said, turning around to head towards the kitchen with a quick pace. “Follow me darling, I’m about to finish cooking, you arrived just in time for lunch.”

Well, your mom always seemed to be in a hurry, she was like every other mom after all, but today she looked more rushed than usual, making you wonder if your arrival was that unexpected, did you suddenly ruin her Friday just by appearing at her doorstep? The answer wasn’t clear to you, when she turned around you lost the chance to say that she shouldn’t worry since you were planning to spend the whole weekend in your room.. Now you were just trying not to look disappointed when she didn’t give you a hug as she disappeared into the kitchen.

You followed her, taking off your converse and throwing them somewhere in the hall. Your mom had enough energy for you both, it was like she forgot that you had been driving all morning to get there, maybe she thought you arrived on a jet, you didn’t know. You thought your tired face was sign enough that all you needed was a hot shower and a long nap.

“What am I gonna do?” She murmured to herself, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you were there earlier. “Your room isn’t ready yet!”

You scowled, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. “What do you mean my room isn’t ready?”

“We’ve been using it as a storage room lately, until Phil adjusts himself.” She told you, but you didn’t understand a word she said. Storage room? Why was your mom’s boyfriend using your bedroom as a storage room?

“Mom, what are you talking about?”

“I’m sure I told you!”

You shook your head “Tell me what?”

She tilted her head with her mouth hanging open. You visibly saw her trying to remember something, filling the room with silence. Then, it hit her, her silence suddenly broke into laughter, she realized that, whatever was she was talking about, she didn’t tell you, you just didn’t know what. “Darling, Phil moved in september, how come we didn’t talk about this?” She let out, wondering out loud. “We are still getting the hang of it, he still has a lot of boxes, we decided to put it in your room for now.” She explained, like it was nothing, but you knew it wasn’t. It took her a long time before she introduced you to Phil, she always made it clear to him that her priority was her kids, so it was a big step for her to let Phil move in.

You shook your head, immediately avoiding her gaze when you felt a sudden rush of guilt washing over your body when you tried to remember when was the last time you spoke with your mom on the phone apart from last month, when you told her you were coming today.

“Oh, mom, I had no idea.” You said as if you were apologizing, you kinda were. “I’m gonna start looking for somewhere else to crash, I still don’t know for how long I’m staying.”

She waved her hands, rushing to interrupt you “My God, sweetie, no! You know you can stay here for as long as you want, this is your house!” She said, but you struggled to believe her “But I really thought you were coming next Friday! When was your last show?”

God, the last thing you wanted to think about now was work.

“Just last week.” You replied, hoping that she wouldn't want to comment too much about it.

“How was it?” She continued to ask, going against your wishes.

Terrible, you wanted to say, you couldn’t wait to get off the stage. You did your job and you left, all your partners begged you to stay for the after party but you were exhausted, you left as soon as you could. That was supposed to be an important moment for you, the wrap up of your first main role, a clear achievement of your short career. After you did the first show of the season you went to bed wishing it could last forever, but last week you were just relieved that it finally ended.

You wouldn’t tell that to your mom, you didn’t want to worry her, so you just told her a little white lie.

“Oh, it was great.” You smiled, hoping that in that way it would be more believable. “I had a great time, but I needed to come back home for a while.”

“Well, you worked hard, now you deserve to rest” She said “And besides that… how have you been, huh?” She asked with a soft voice, making you raise your gaze to find her warm eyes and a warm smile. You failed to remember that you couldn’t lie to your mom, she always saw through you, and to be honest she would be a fool not to notice the tired look on your face. It bothered you just a bit that the main reason why she was asking about it was because of the breakup.

“Why, because of Ian?” You asked.

“No just because of him, just… how have you been about everything?”

“Well, fine, I think so.” You kept lying “Me and him… I don’t know, I don’t think I felt the same way about him anymore, I had to end it, I’m sure he deserves someone who feels the same, right?”

She hummed, not really convinced. “You deserve someone like that, too, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” You sighed “But that topic gives me headaches.”

Your mother snorted, “Well, don’t expect me to be satisfied with that answer, after you take a nap I’m gonna ask you all about that.”

“How nosy.” You chuckled. “You just want to talk shit about your ex son in law.”

“Of course, don’t act like you don’t want to do that too, I know you too well.” You rolled your eyes, but of course she was right. “Anyway, since I thought you were coming next week I planned a dinner for tonight with everyone, they’ll be so happy to see you, but you know, I understand if you want to skip it with everything that’s happening, I’m sure no one will ask about it, but still. You came here to be alone so I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed around a lot of people.”

“Ask about what? The news isn’t out yet” You asked, confused.

Your mom turned around again, looking as confused as you. “Haven’t you checked your phone today?” She asked cautiously.

“No, it died a few hours ago. I haven't had the chance to charge it in the car.” Your words made her confused expression fade into a concerned one.

“Darling, you might want to check it now.” She pointed to the charger that was connected next to the fridge. The look on her face could only mean that something wasn’t okay.

You slowly got off the stool, heading towards the other side of the room as you took your phone from your pocket to connect it to the charger. You knew it was just a matter of time until people found out that you and Ian broke up, but you thought the news would’ve be handled the same way as always, a statement from both you, the only reason why you didn’t do it yet was because you and Ian weren’t talking since the proposal happened.

When your phone finally turned on, a rush of anxiety ran down your body when a thousand notifications began to appear on the screen, including fifty missed calls from both your manager and publicist, you had a feeling that maybe the situation was worse than you thought. “What the fuck happened?” You murmured to yourself, looking at your mother in search for answers. “Did Sally call you?” You asked her, fully knowing that Sally, your manager, had strict orders not to bother anyone in your family with calls about anything related to work.

The room suddenly fell in silence, your mom hesitated to answer, you knew she didn’t want to be the one to give you bad news.

“No, but a friend of mine sent me an article.” She explained, her voice suddenly sounding small. “I didn’t read it, you know, I didn’t even open it, I don’t like gossip.”

Your mind tried to put two and two together; missed calls from your manager, an article about you, gossip, that didn’t sound fucking right.

“Fuck, I have to call her.” You gritted your teeth, wasting no time marking her number. You felt your head swirling just by imagining the sound of her voice yelling at you for not answering her calls.

Less than five seconds later, like she was waiting by the phone, she picked up. “Fucking finally.” Was the first thing you heard, “Where the fuck were you?”

The irritated tone on her voice took you by surprise, making you jump in you place “Driving, for four fucking hours.” You rushed to say “My phone was dead, what is going on?”

You heard her inhale, trying to keep her calm “Every single person in the world is trying to reach me right now except you. It’s a mess.”

“What?” You try not to yell “I just got home, I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Honey, it got leaked, has no one told you yet?”

Then, a beat of silence. The stress on her voice is enough to make you believe her, you didn’t have to think twice. Of course something like this was going to happen to you, you couldn’t run away from the city and pretend everything behind was going to stay as it was, your life from six hours ago was still there, and it was still a fucking mess.

“What part?” Was the only thing you could say. You felt yourself entering a cloud of uncertainty, your fist clenched on your lap and while you listened to her sighing, preparing you for the answer, you held your breath as if that way you could stop time.

“Everything.” She spat. “Listen, I didn’t want to freak you out with this, I tried to keep this situation on the low but it happened anyway. The story’s out, pictures are out, every fucking thing is out.”

You suddenly tense, feeling your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach

“What? What do you-?” You stuttered.

“I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about the proposal but it's the main headline, sweetie.”

Sally is not someone who’s known for sugarcoating her words, she was straightforward and didn’t mind being the person who delivered bad news, but today you could tell she was especially stressed, you were sure she was trying to handle this issue alone with you being gone for hours.

“Fuck.” You hissed “What about him, have you called his manager?”

“Of course I called his manager, but all of a sudden that prick doesn’t want to collaborate with me on this, apparently Ian doesn’t fucking care, how about that?”

“How come he doesn’t care?” You asked exasperatedly.

“That’s the idea that I got when his manager told me to manage this issue myself.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath as you took a moment to think about it. You knew Ian well enough, but you always held onto a kind version of him, the version of him who made you stay for so long, the version of him you chose to remember so your memories weren't all bad, but that version made you felt guilty for the question that was rotting on your mouth, waiting to be spat.

“Do you think it was him?” You asked her, but her bitter laugh on the other line made you realize it wasn’t a difficult question to answer.

“I mean, would that be so crazy?” She said “You and I are pretty sure who called the people to take those pictures. He's not happy, honey, to him this is just payback for what you did.”

That word echoed in your mind for longer than you would’ve wanted to, was that the way he decided to put this to an end? Payback?

Four weeks ago, you thought that was it. When you were at the backyard of the house of Ian’s grandparents and you saw him on his knees, asking you to marry him, you thought that was the moment when every bad decision you ever made caught up to you, when everything exploded in your face. Now you realized it didn’t end there, everything you’ve done still has consequences.

You closed your eyes, trying to ignore your mom’s eyes in the back of your neck. You left the room, coming back to the hall so you could be alone. You couldn’t just hang the phone and pretend none of that happened, as tempting as it sounded, you had to take care of it. “Okay, now what? Can you clean it?”

“I’ve been trying, but it can’t disappear, you know? It’s been up for a few hours.” She replied.

You nodded, as if she could see you “Okay, listen, it doesn’t matter. I can’t deal with this right now, I don’t care where it came from, I don’t care how the pictures look, what people are saying, I don’t want to know any of it. If people saw it, I don’t give a fuck, it’s me who doesn’t want to see it.” You firmly said “If the story’s out, fine, but I don’t want any major media posting the pictures, can you do that?”

You heard her humming “Mmm, are you sure you want to handle it in that way? No statement to the media? No post on instagram? Just radio silence?”

The thought of making a statement about your relationship in public made you want to throw up, “Are you kidding?” You laughed “There’s no way I’m making a statement about this if you can’t even get Ian’s manager on the phone for him to do the same. If I say anything about this and he stays quiet I’m going to look worse of a villain than I already am for rejecting him.”

“Honey, I don’t think you understand this.” She stopped you, “This isn’t just news that you broke up, this is news that he proposed to his girlfriend of three years and she said fucking no, a.k.a a scandal.”

You rolled your eyes, wanting to curse her for treating you like a five year old child. “No, hear me out, I’m not playing his game anymore.”

“You’re not the one who’s playing his game, he’s the one playing in yours.” She emphasized, “Let me be clear with this, and I’m trying to be nice even though I’ve been working all morning to get this to disappear just for you. You were the one who decided that the relationship was going to have this kind of publicity, you can’t back down now. This could harm your image, you need to make a statement whether he does the same or not.”

You stopped for a second, hating how right she was. Every bit of your relationship with Ian was out to the public, that was the whole point of it from the beginning. Your image as an actress wasn’t entirely constructed by your work, you took charge into making every piece of your private life part of it too, you sold it of your life to the public. After so many years of sharing everything with the media and fans, you knew it would be strange to stay in silence now, but in a matter of seconds the words piled up in your mind, making you see how ridiculously soulless a statement like that would look, lying about how much love and respect you held for Ian but at the end it didn’t work out, that you decided to stay as friends since you still loved each other so much, when the truth was that he was the one who leaked the pictures in the first place.

You were once again reminded to face the consequences, and that was what you were about to do.

“Sorry, Sally, but I'm not making a statement.” You let out, nervously tapping your foot against the floor “I started it, you’re right, but now I’ve decided to end this here. This is my private life we’re talking about, let me keep this thing to myself. The only thing that they need to know is that we’re no longer together, and from now on the only information they’ll get of me is about my work, are we clear?”

Your whole body shook in anticipation, expecting her to yell at you and tell you to do whatever she said, because you knew she knew better. You hoped she somehow didn’t see through your mask, you weren’t as hard as you wanted to sound, you weren’t as confident as you wanted to be. For years working with her you trusted her advice against all odds, and you knew she always meant well, she was just doing her job, but at this exact moment in your life you needed to stay silent.

She hesitated to answer, battling with herself and the love she had for you. “Look kid,” She said “I’m going to let you do what you want, but if this doesn’t end well I’m going to look for you in whatever farm you’re staying in right now and I’m going to strangle you, now are we clear?” She asked, repeating your last words.

It took you a second to understand what she just said, you felt so anxious you didn’t understand if she was giving you a green light or not. When you snapped out of it, you realized it was the closest you’ve felt to be relieved.

“We are clear.” You confirmed.

“I sure hope so.” You heard her sighing once again “I’ll make it disappear and you make sure to keep your phone close in case something happens. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s fine.” She brushed it off “At least you’re not dead, I would’ve felt guilty for cursing you so much.”

“God, maybe the news of my death would make the news about the proposal disappear.” You tried to joke, fighting against the horrible feeling you still had on your stomach.

“Okay, kid. I’m hanging up before you get more morbid. Take care, okay?”

You chuckled quietly, “Thank you, Sally” You said before she hung up “Really, I appreciate it.”

The call ended, leaving your ears ringing and your heart hammering against your chest. You stayed in the hall, sitting on the first steps of the stairs and trying to make sense of what just happened.

You were aware that Ian was angry at you, you couldn’t tell if you broke his heart but you knew that you hurt his ego, and somehow that was worse. You had to admit that your ego was as big as his, so you understood he had to do the same thing to you. Sally was right, you led yourself to this, you managed the circus that was your public life and you were the one who chose him to cover up how miserable you felt. You still felt your blood boiling just by thinking how cruel it was what he did, and at the same time you couldn’t allow yourself to be angry at him because you thought you had it coming.

You thought you were so stupid for thinking that once you got here you were going to be okay, as if you could run away from yourself, as this house was a bunker, protecting you from everything you ever did. Suddenly, you felt all your emotions stacking up your throat, you felt your eyes burning before your whole face was soaked with hot tears of regret, you didn’t even remember when was the last time you cried, that’s how fucked up you were.

You covered your face, sobbing against your palms as you tried to calm yourself, remembering your mom was waiting for you in the kitchen and you had to come back to be a functioning person, but before you could, you heard her steps approaching you, gasping when she found you crying.

“Darling, what happened?” She asked, the concern in her voice made your heart hurt.

You quickly wiped your tears with the sleeves of your sweater as you watched her kneel beside you. “Nothing, just…” You tried to lie, but what was the use of that? She would know, and you were still going to continue carrying the pain on your chest for the rest of the day. You shook your head, feeling her thumbs wiping your tears from your face.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” She whispered, like it was a secret between the two of you. “It’s about the article, right?” You nodded.

“It’s…” You inhaled, trying to catch your breath. “It’s about more than that.”

And then, the truth. As if you were a criminal caught in the scene of the crime, you had to tell the truth.

After you spent the whole afternoon trying to explain to your mom what was going on with your life, nothing could erase the worried look on her face, looking at you like you were thirteen and you had the flu, wanting to take care of you until it went away.

You felt ashamed, but you couldn’t keep lying to her, not completely at least. You had to tell her that you were never really in love but you felt so alone back in the city, you didn’t have anyone else. Most of your friends were fake, you were tired and sometimes overworked, not even your job was making up for the miserable life you were living anymore. You knew Ian was seeing other women and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to confront him about it, terrified that he’ll leave you in your big apartment alone. Your mom listened with a frown on her face, confused, asking why you never told her, asking why you never called, and you felt so embarrassed, so guilty for disappearing for so long.

“I’m sorry” was the only thing you could say, and even though she waved it off and said that you didn’t have to apologize for anything, you knew that wasn’t real. You had a bunch of this to apologize for, you didn’t even know where to begin.

After a shower, she offered her room for you to take a nap, and as you got into her bed, she sat next to you, hugging you for the first time in months.

You breathed out against her chest, feeling like a kid again around her arms. It was like she was trying to extract the sadness out of your body, and maybe it worked for now.

“You’re still invited to join us for dinner tonight, you know?” She murmured “I know you’re sad but it’s just us, maybe it’ll cheer you up.”

You nodded, “I’ll think about it, is that okay?”

“Of course, darling.” She smiled, kissing your forehead before getting up to leave.

Before she opened the door, you stopped her.

“Wait mom, who’s coming?” You asked before she disappeared from your sight.

She turned to you again, smiling. “Your brother, of course.” She said “He’s bringing Yoongi and his mom, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

You snapped your eyes open, but before your mom could see your reaction she disappeared through the door, leaving you alone and with your heart clenched in your fist.

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cravetive · 1 month

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𝔸 𝔽ℝ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝔻 𝕆𝔽 𝔸 𝔽ℝ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝔻 | ℂℍ. 𝟠

| 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨�� 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫.

|𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞/𝐚𝐮: 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬,𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭,𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐮, 𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭.

| 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

| 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k

| 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞, 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬 & 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 ( 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤), 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬), 𝐬𝐞𝐱 ( 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬), 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐬 & 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬, 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

| 𝐀/𝐍: 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭-𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲; 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐲 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬.

previous chapters

You lay exhausted on the floor, sweat trickling the sides of your cheeks as you looked up at the ceiling in despair – there was no air in your lungs, and it was not like you were trying to breathe. breathing would only make this harder for you. you couldn’t get the ringing in your ears to subside no matter how much you concentrated. You were burnt out, heavy lids blinking in slow motion whilst you lay limp on the matted floor. In moments like these, you tried to find beauty in sacrifice, but no matter what color you tried to paint it, no matter what museum it would be hung on for others to observe, there was nothing beautiful in defeat.

the sound of the man yelling above you echoed through the room but even whilst he continued barking for you to stand, there wasn’t a fiber in your body that was willing to comply.

It had been like this for months, exerting your body through painful training – pushing yourself to the brink of death every day. you had spent sleepless nights worrying about a future out of your grasp, planning down falls under closed doors and hushed tones.

“You have no one! No one wants you; no one needs you if you don’t get up and fight, no one will do it for you!”

You permitted your lips to part and within them a heavy breath climbed out, hallowing your chest and in its trail leaving a pounding ache inside your head. You had grown accustomed to being cruel to yourself, knowing that the enemies you would soon form would show you no mercy, offer you no time to regain your breath.

“Y/n get the fuck up!”

You sat up quickly, spitting out the mouth guard that had been wedged between your teeth and finally allowing yourself to breathe. Your brief tango with affixation results in a sour and painful aftertaste in your mouth.

“that’s enough for today Y/n, don’t ever underestimate your opponent they will always be stronger and bigger than you, it is then when you have to rely on your technique, it's never about strength” your Jiu Jitsu instructor yelled, displeasure in his expression as he stormed out of the room, the sound of the door slamming behind you causing your body to jolt. You stared down at the matt under you, a sense of contrition settling in your stomach.

“don’t take it to the head, he's just trying to push you” Minjun, your opponent spoke as he reached down to offer you his hand. You looked up at him with a glare, smacking his hand away, and standing up on your own.

“I don’t” you spat, limping over to your gym bag and reaching for your phone.

This had been your routine for some time now, whilst other wives planned out parties and prepared to birth children, you found yourself working on becoming an enemy competent enough to go against your husband and his affiliates, the fact alone was ridiculous but one that you had learned to accept, nonetheless.

You would like to say that these circumstances hadn’t changed the way you viewed life, yet it had been a rude awakening to the all too cruel reality that even if you gained your liberty, you would never be the same. You had made relations with men whom in other instances you would’ve ran from and now when you looked in the mirror, you were too someone your past self would’ve screamed out to in fear.

The beauty in sacrifice.

Yet, you were no longer alone in your resentment. The feeling that you had detested for so long had made a home inside of you, a home that you had found yourself sharing with others. As you assisted your father-in-law with his campaign, you also worked on gaining connections and allies, finding that within this bubble that you lived in existed those who were far crueler than the men who had stripped you of your life.

All with the help of Yoongi of course, the strongest of your allies. He still was a censored scripture, a page that contained no words for you to understand but he was helpful, and you decided it would be best to not probe into his business. Knowing a man like Yoongi meant losing a part of yourself and there was already so much you had lost.

Your phone vibrated with an incoming call from Myung, her 5th attempt at trying to fulfill her job as the double agent she was. You took a deep breath trying to collect your thoughts, preparing yourself to morph into the person you had been pretending to be for the last few months. a shell of a woman, someone who complied in the name of revenge.

“Hello?” you spoke, gathering your belongings and heading towards the entrance of the building.

“Hello Ms. Y/n” Your eyes fluttered with exasperation, still struggling to find her voice pleasant; perhaps because she was a snitch, a mole placed into your life to collect information about your whereabouts for your husband, and based on her relentless phone calls it would appear Jungkook was not satisfied.

It was to be expected though, during this time you made various lifestyle changes, besides taking up self-defense training and visiting the shooting range 2 days out of the week, you had decided that a personal driver would no longer be necessary, opting to drive yourself to all your official and unofficial matters. It was the rational route to take whilst you plotted against your kin, even if it made Jungkook that much more paranoid.

“You interrupted a very important business meeting; how can I help you” You couldn’t control the harshness in your tone, feeling a bit guilty for the way you spoke to your assistant. You were still empathetic, still had a heart and she was probably a good person, someone with a life and bills to pay but nevertheless, a thorn cutting into your skin.

“I apologize Ms. Y/n- Mr. Jeon has been asking for you, he wants to know how his father's campaign is going.”

As promised Jungkook had temporarily taken the position of his father as head of their enterprise during his campaign which left him in complete control of the criminal empire, not that he wasn’t already a top player in that anyway; this only meant that he would have complete control of the decisions made whilst his father focused on pretending to be a civil member of society.

“I mean can't he call his father for this sort of thing” you huffed, opening your car door and throwing your gym bag across the passenger seat.

By now you knew Jungkook very well, could see right through his well-orchestrated intentions and this wasn’t about his father at all, this was a reminder. A reminder that he was still there, a stain on your perfectly clean plan.

“Well yes Ma’am but he requested to hear it from you.”

You rolled your eyes as you often did with these pestering requests, aside from your own personal assignments, you were already running his father's entire campaign, a job that consumed most of your time. you had gone above and beyond, promoting Mr. jeon like the god he pretended to be, influencing your most powerful acquaintances to finance his lies and deceits. All that and you still had to deal with his demonic son.

Naturally, you did have something to gain. being Mr. Jeon's campaign manager facilitated an ample path toward your goal, one the police couldn’t ignore, one that would set in motion the chain of events you had been preparing for. election day was tomorrow and in honor of that you had prepared a banquet, where everyone would celebrate the new governor because he would win, he had to win. You had made sure of that.

“Tell him we will see each other in his father's banquet” you responded, starting the ignition and driving away from the parking lot.

“But Ms. Y/n” Myung protested.

“And by the way Myung next time you even think about reporting back to your boss about what I do and where I am, I will kill you,” you snapped before ending the call.

Something deep inside you had changed; the girl that once cried out in agony at any misstep, at any injustice seized to exist. Perhaps influenced by the very men whom you now surrounded yourself with, who made you feel like you were worthy of a seat at their table.

You had done a proper job at disguising yourself as a content daughter-in-law, bowing down to all your father in laws orders, demonstrating to him you were trustworthy enough to handle his political affairs, making him appear like the perfect candidate in front of the cameras and to the community and maybe that made you a liar, but your lies had a purpose, nonetheless.

Mr. Jeon had found respect for you, admiration. He saw you as a gift that had been awarded to him by the heavens above and had gone as far as to say he was lucky to have you by his side. You had infiltrated yourself as the naïve wife to his golden child, someone who would do anything to please and comply, even if in the end you were just a trojan horse. The person who would destroy them from the inside out at the slightest opportunity.

Of the many things you were taught by your ruthless ally Yoongi and your loyal friend Jin, your preparedness was the only thing they shared. Their methods were different, but their intentions were all the same. While Jin taught you about this life, the rules and policies these criminals respected and therefore followed, Yoongi taught you how to disarm a gun, how to hold your head high during confrontations, all ensuring you were someone no one could fuck with.

You were a loaded gun with no safety, willing and able to end all those who crossed you.

You could recall Yoongi’s voice in your mind, the memory of his hands wrapped around yours as he showed you the delicacy of firing a gun, he viewed it as an art whilst you shook in fear of the mere thought of being in the room with the damn thing.

‘First step, you load your magazine’

Convincing all those with the power to sit in one room in honor of your father-in-law had proved to be a difficult task but one you had been successful at. You needed an audience after all, an audience that could not be paid or coerced, one that would hold those who had fooled them accountable; there was nothing in this world that people with money hated more than to waste their time and resources.

You had spent hours meticulously plotting for this very moment, making sure everything flowed without a hitch and now only a day away you could see the end of the tunnel, a dream that you could almost grasp, almost taste.

It was simple really, if you take a man's reputation then you take everything he has.

Jungkook and his family will no longer be able to stand behind a glass of smoke, and all their deceit and crimes will be exposed, by tomorrow night everyone would know what they have done, and you would finally free yourself from the reigns that had been imposed on you, could finally tell the world the hell you have been through for the past year.

The anticipation alone gives a pep in your step.

You had ensured to hire the best of the best to work alongside you, infiltrating them into the political campaign all while under your pay role. If there was someone who understood how much power money had it was you. hiring the most skilled under the pretense of bettering your father-in-law’s chances all while they remained loyal only to you.

Yoongi had assisted you with gaining Park Jimin, one of the most efficient hackers in the country and he too now was under your payroll, there was no space for failure, there wouldn’t be a place on this earth that the Jeons could crawl to that you wouldn’t find them, there would be no more lies or escaping, they had to pay.

You entered through the door of your home for the last time, the place that had sheltered your deepest anguish. This would be the last day this place would ever see you again, if the Jeons couldn’t guarantee your freedom, you were going to take it back, and behind you stood an army ready to ensure you did. You had purchased a home on the outskirts of the city with the money you had made from your business, a place to call your own where no one could find you, where no one could imprison you.

You stood in the middle of the living room, eyes scanning each inch of the walls that watched you fall apart many times, it was a melancholic feeling, to say the least. The girl who first stepped into this home with dreams and aspirations, who lived unaware of the monster that lurked outside of her illusions, crumbled inside of you and for a moment you could say that you missed that naïve child.

The home was now unoccupied, you had sent Nali, Ha-Yoon, and Boram to prepare your new home, allowing them to live a proper life with independence, no longer under the command of the Jeons. It was the least you could do given their undevoted loyalty to you.

You made your way to your bedroom, taking a moment to reminisce on your time spent here. In your mind you liked to think you were doing this home a favor, offering it a break from witnessing your agony whilst unable to help, to reach out to you in comfort. Eventually, it would get a new owner, a family who could wipe away its past and replace your torment with their harmony.

Tomorrow, you would prepare yourself for the end of the beginning, gone would be the days you would weep within the darkness of your bed, lamenting over how things could’ve been different if you were a better daughter. Those were no longer your thoughts and you prided yourself in that. You concluded that whether you were a good enough daughter or not, no one deserved this. This jail, this life that had been gifted to you like a double-edged blade that caused you to bleed each time you indulged in it.

‘Secondly, cock your gun, make sure there is a bullet in the chamber’

You watched as your acquaintances filled the room, bright smiles on their faces as they greeted each other. You watched your plan come together from afar, pure satisfaction pouring through you with the knowledge that everything was going in accordance with your expectations. It was gratifying to know that all this sacrifice would ultimately bring you exactly what you deserved.

“Miss Y/n” you felt a whisper in your ear, and you turned quickly to find the voice. Jimin stood beside you with a wide grin, his black hoodie blocking your view of his face, you were accustomed to seeing him this way, he always appeared to be calm and quiet but once you got to know him, he was cheeky and sarcastic, and you would often forget he could hack into the government's database if he so desired.

“How are the polls?” you asked eagerly causing Jimin to chuckle.

“Relax Ms. Y/n, Mr. Jeon is leading as we expected” he shrugged, typing away on his phone. “Everything will go to plan, and you will get to see the results of your sleepless nights” he hummed which caused you to smile. You gave him a slight nod and then stepped closer to him, your voice dropping by decibels.

“What about the other thing?” you asked causing Jimin to bite down on his lip, his eyes searching yours knowingly.

“Everything is set, during your father in laws speech the screen there” he pointed at the stage, the black screen sitting tauntingly in your view “will show the crowd the detailed documentary of how the Jeons are a bunch of filthy animals” You couldn’t hold back the smirk that appeared on your face as the affirmation fell from his lips, you had chosen the hall with fewest exits, no running would save the Jeons from the shame and embarrassment of all their wrongdoings and when you glanced around the room again you could see the same men whose faces haunted you at night.

Kim Taehyung, and Jung Hoseok whom you had never seen until today, all the major role players in their organization, would all be exposed too. Your eyes stopped on Yoongi who sat completely still, his head held high as it always did, a small smirk on his lips. He sat amongst them, peacefully waiting for the chaos to begin and the thought almost made you double down in laughter.

“Good work Jimin” you responded before stepping away and making your way to the back of the hall, your work was not over, you still needed to sell yourself as the helping daughter-in-law, your best role yet.

You swiftly moved through the long corridor, you attempted to hold back the smile that threatened to show through your controlled demeanor, the feeling of triumph rushing through you only making you want to crave this revenge more and there would be nothing you wouldn’t do to keep it harbored inside of you.

It wasn’t like you weren’t nervous, if you were being honest the entire thing had you an anxious mess, but there were two kinds of fear, the kind that kept you completely still and the other that made you go into survival mode and right now you were hanging at the edge of a cliff and there was no way in hell you would allow yourself to fall.

You neared the door to the room in which your father-in-law sat, confident in his new achievement. If only he knew all the plans that you had for him, all of which would wipe away his entire distinction. No one else would be fooled or trapped into an unwarranted life like you and your family, this was for the well-being of everyone else, you were doing everyone a favor or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

Your body was suddenly halted by a hand on your arm, the person gripped and dragged you against the wall, causing you to whimper in protest. You readied yourself to fight, to throw punches as you had been taught but once you looked up into the eyes of the perpetrator you could only sigh and look away as Jungkook stood over you. his eyes glared into your skull as his grip remained tight against your arm.

The irritation alone causes you to want to break his hand.

You pushed back the vile taste in your tongue, caused by your one and only husband. You closed your eyes for a moment and then snapped your eyes back at him, a fake smile spreading across your lips.

“Husband” you chirped, annoyed by your own tone.

“Why did you threaten Myung?” he snapped causing your smile to falter for a moment. You pressed your lips together and glanced back at his hand still tightly wrapped around your arm. You reached your hand to meet his and squeezed harshly.

“Jungkook, can you please let go, it hurts” you whispered, your eyes looking in both directions in fear someone could come and find you both in this state. Previously you wouldn’t have cared if Jungkook’s true colors came into view but now, the audience would have to wait for the meticulous plan you had set in motion.

Jungkook sighed, dropping his hand from your arm. You rubbed your hand against it, noticing the guilt in his eyes but just as it had arrived, it was gone. Like a lightning strike and you doubted it was even guilt in the first place.

“What are you planning?” he accused but you remained passive, recalling the words of your mentor. You scanned his face carefully, trying to find out if his paranoia held any rationality. Did he know? Impossible, you had acted as the perfect wife and the perfect daughter-in-law for the last few months, even if it made you want to vomit at every turn.

“What are you talking about my love?” You whispered, a saddened expression settling on your face. He rolled his eyes, a scoff falling past his lips.

“My love? What is this act that you are putting on, just a few months ago you were declaring war against me and my family and now you want me to think that you’ve become this picture-perfect wife?” he spat. you furrowed your eyebrows, anger bubbling inside of your stomach, the evidence in your now flushed cheeks.

“Perhaps you’ve been a snake for so long you can't tell when someone is being genuine” you responded, Jungkook remained still, his eyes staring into yours for what felt like forever. It was uncomfortable to have him look at you in this way like he could smell the deceit off of you.

“There you are” he scoffed, a mug smile erupting upon his face, you noted how close he was standing to you now. The approximation intimidates you, making you feel caged in all over again.

“I'm only going to warn you once in honor of our marriage, you come for me or my family and I will make sure that you never see the light of day again” he stepped closer, causing you to press your body against the wall. he was only a few inches apart now, your noses barely brushing.

“I don’t trust you and I don’t trust your intentions” he breathed, his eyes falling on your lips as he spoke. Your mouth gaped as you looked up at him, his eyes holding contempt while yours reciprocated anger.

“That seems like a personal problem” you whispered, shoving past him.

You took this moment to run down the hall, briefly looking back at him as he held onto the wall for balance. You wish you could say it caused you great joy to see him this paranoid, finally, you had been able to withdraw some sort of emotion from someone who held none but there was no sense in that victory if it wasn’t pain.

You entered the main hall, air clashing inside your lungs as you tried to gather yourself. You reached to fix your skirt, and walked towards the main stage, displaying a bright smile as you passed the very people you had invited. You watched as your father-in-law took his seat in the center of the room, a proud smile on his face as he waited for his win, the one you would willingly give to him. Who were you to deny others their own ruin, he would get everything he wanted.

He would have a price to pay along with his son.

You climbed up the steps towards the stage, your hands forming into fists as adrenaline coursed through your veins, this was the moment you had yearned for so long. You had outdone yourself, reaching a point you didn’t even know you were capable of. This would be the moment you could finally breathe with ease; you couldn’t wait to see the looks on all their faces once they knew the truth.

“Welcome everyone” you spoke into the microphone, gaining the attention of the crowd who murmured within themselves.

“I want to thank everyone who has made themselves present tonight, I know it might have been a hassle to clear your schedules” you joked causing the crowd to respond with laughter. You giggled slightly and glanced over to your father-in-law who smiled from ear to ear. You looked back at the crowd and hummed “I promise that we have been working very hard during this campaign and you will not regret supporting our cause” You finalized, the crowd clapped loudly and you proceeded to take a seat next to Mr. Jeon.

You clapped as he bowed in front of the crowd, his humble demeanor urging a sick feeling inside of you. This family was so good at pretending as long as they got what they wanted, for a moment you couldn’t help but reflect on how similar you had become to them but at least you wouldn’t be hurting any innocent lives to reach your own goal.

You looked down at the technical team, noticing the way Jimin calmly typed away on his computer as he hacked into the system and prepared the video you had worked so hard to put together. Mr. Jeon sat back down beside you and gave you a proud nod.

“I knew I could trust you” he whispered into your ear, and you offered him a small smile.

“Thank You, Mr. Jeon, for entrusting me with such a beautiful experience, surely you will make a wonderful governor.”

And you'll fill the streets with your drugs, you'll increase the crime rate, and eventually destroy the lives of millions.

He gave you a small chuckle “I hope I can meet all the expectations and to think your father was worried about your capabilities” he shrugged before looking back at the crowd with a smile.

The statement caused you to freeze within the chair you sat in, a sharp stabbing pain taking over your chest. you blinked silently for a moment, trying to process the words that had fallen from his mouth.

“Excuse me?” you asked, bewilderment taking over your expression.

What did your father have to do with any of this? He was but a victim in Jungkook’s family scheme, sure he often took their side, but he didn’t know the kind of people they were, or how far they would go to reach their filthy desires. You couldn’t brush away the concern eating at your brain, something you had failed to calculate.

You searched the crowd and found your parents sitting calmly, a smile on both their faces. You turned away and quickly placed your hand on Mr. Jeon's shoulder; he looked back at you, recognizing the conflict in your eyes and concern flashed through his features.

“I’m sorry you said something about my father?” you questioned him once again. he slightly shook his head, regret written all over his expression, like he had made a mistake, and you knew that stare, it was of someone who had just royally fucked up.

“don’t mind me Y/n, the years are getting to me” he chuckled but it did nothing to ease your mind, what role did your father have in all of this? And what did he gain from Mr. Jeon succeeding? You engrossed yourself in your mind, losing presence in the room you had so eagerly wanted to be in before.

The polls flashed on the screen and the crowd began to cheer, you managed to look behind you and Mr. Jeon was in the lead, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from your parents, they sat proudly as they always did. there must've been something wrong all this time that you couldn’t see. Were you too naïve to think your parents weren’t unaware of Jungkook’s actual job? Did they sell you off regardless?

You wanted to shake those feelings away, that was impossible. Yes, they had been cruel to trade you off for money, sure they had grown distant with you as time passed but so did you, there was no way in hell they too would be linked to the organization you sought to end.

You were shaken back to reality as Mr. Jeon sat up from his seat taking steps towards the podium and then his colleagues who also sat beside you stood up to cheer and before you knew it, his win had been announced. You had just made Mr. Jeon the governor of the city, you had allowed him passage to do what he wanted along with his corrupt organization. You blinked away the troubling haze from your mind and sat up quickly following closely behind him.

He waited for the guests to seize their cheering; he nodded his head knowingly, raising his hand in appreciation. You stood firm, overtaken by the events that had transpired only moments before, his words still echoing inside of your mind. You averted your eyes to Yoongi. He had remained seated, his face expressionless. He gave you a reassuring nod but he was too far to know the emotions that were flowing through you now.

Your head pounded painfully, overtaken by the possibilities of what Mr. Jeon truly meant, was he trying to discourage you? Did Jungkook tell him about your incident earlier? There was no time to make sense of all of this, you looked back at Jimin who watched from behind his computer. The screen flashed the news, naming Mr. Jeon the new governor, and the loud thoughts inside your mind silenced.

“I want to thank you all so much for your support, I promise that as governor of this great city, I will ensure to keep the city safe and offer my support to every single one of our citizens who are struggling whether it be economically or health-wise, let us join together to make this a better community.”

‘now, pull the trigger’

As the words fell from the mouth of your father-in-law, you raised your hand to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, the cue you and Jimin had practiced many times before. The small gesture that meant for him to begin the destruction of the family who had taken everything from you. The screen behind you went black but Mr. Jeon remained focused on his speech to notice the sudden change and suddenly the video began to play.

A picture of his face appearing on the screen with blood rolling down his eyes, an idea Yoongi had been very adamant had to be used to cause shock, which as always turned out to be correct. The crowd gasped loudly, clutching their companies and sitting at the edge of their seats, you watched in awe at the realization of a dream that seemed too far-fetched.

“Do you know who Mr. Jeon really is?”

A deep voice spoke from within the speakers, the video continued with pictures of all the unspeakable crimes that Jungkook and his father had committed throughout the city. All the bloodshed and illegal activities on full display for everyone to see. You watched the media roll in with their cameras, focusing on the face of Mr. Jeon who looked enraged at the screen behind him.

You couldn’t help but smile at the presentation, knowing every word by heart as the man continued to narrate the information that had been tightly kept hidden by the police and The crowd continued to gasp as more pictures were presented.

“The hands of our new governor are covered in the blood of the same people he claims he wants to protect and assist when all along his plan has been to murder our people and deepen his earnings with his drug and weapon trade.”

Your eyes scanned the room, havoc taking over as people began to scream, anger and impotence taking over them as they finally knew the truth, the same anger that you had lived with in silence for so long. You looked over at your parents, their faces morphed into that of disgust and then the video continued to the money laundering and watched as your father realized what you had done, his company named in the long list of businesses who had fallen victim to the Jeons money laundering scheme.

He was a victim, right?

Mr. Jeon snapped his face in your direction, the calm and collected facade dropping from his expression and replaced by complete anger. He glared at you, his eyes flaring with fury, and it felt like he was burning you alive.

“FIX THIS” he yelled over the sound of the voice exposing all his dark secrets.

You stood emotionless; your head held high as you remained unfazed by his sudden outburst. If you were to be completely honest, you didn’t know why you were even scared in the first place. He was just a shallow man, a man who bled just like you did.

“Fix what?” you barked, and his eyes widened in comprehension. you took a step back and began walking away from the angered man, you watched as the crowd began to scream and soon the media began asking him questions you knew he didn’t have the answers for, you were the one behind his speeches after all, all this time you had ensured he was viewed as the perfect candidate and now you had left him with nothing.

You made your way back to the corridor leading to the exit, a car waiting for you outside. After this, everything would be over and even if you ended up hurting your parents with the truth it was better that they knew, now there would be no more secrets, no more guilty tears spilling from your eyes. It wasn’t your burden to carry anyway. You had been protecting them and now it was time for them to protect themselves.

“Where do you think you are going?”

The voice made your steps halt and you turned on your heel to face Jungkook as he came running down the corridor, you could see the disgust in his eyes, but you weren’t scared to face him, if anything you had been prepared for it.

“Do you know what you just did” he shouted, your silence only further lighting the fury flowing past him. He snatched your arm causing your feet to stumble in place. You reached for his hand, forcing his touch away from you. his eyes held disdain but yours flashed war inside of them, you reached forward to twist his hand away from your skin, but he was relentless, his anger making him incapable of feeling the pain you were exerting.

“Did you think my threats were empty? I will make you and your family suffer in the same way you have made mine suffer” you spat, pushing him back and taking a step away. He stepped towards you again, his hand reaching to grab you once again, but you moved out of the way, grabbing his hand and twisting it behind his back.

“Do you think you can just do what you want and leave unscathed?” he yelled causing you to flinch. He used all his strength to turn over and his hand locked in with your throat, he corned you against the wall, grabbing both your hands as you tried to fight him off and pinning them above your head.

He squeezed his hand tightly around your neck, interrupting the airflow to your lungs. Your vision began to blur, and your lungs cried out for oxygen, but his grip remained firm and you knew you were once again trapped.

“I want to remind you that your parents are sitting in that room right now and if you don’t pay for what you’ve done, they will” he bit. You screamed out in anger; his words enticing you to react violently, your knee came up quickly, clashing harshly against his groin leading him to collapse on the floor with a loud groan. You stood over him, your breaths labored as you approached his body on the floor.

“don't you ever try to threaten me or my family ever again!” You shouted. You felt dizzy, adrenaline rushing through you quickly as you tried to regain your breath, you heaved reaching the wall for support and then you felt his hand clasp around your ankle, and he pulled with as much force as he could until your body collapsed on the ground.

The drop knocked out the little air you had mustered to inhale, and your body tensed at the impact.

He climbed over you, using his body weight to keep you pressed against the ground and you screamed out in impotence, the anger running through causing hot tears to spill out of your eyes. “Let me go Jungkook!” You screamed, his face was mere inches away, and you could feel his labored breaths fanning against your face as you tried to twist away from his grasp, you kicked and slammed your hand against his chest, but he wouldn’t budge, he had you at his mercy.

“Y/n” he barked, and you stared into his eyes, you could see the agony in them, despair begging out to you. You looked away, a small sob escaping your mouth.

“Why can’t you just let me go?” you whimpered.

“Why can’t you understand that you can't just go around destroying everything because of your pride!” he shouted, and you looked back at him with shock in your expression, pride? He thought this was all because your ego had been hurt. He would never understand, no matter how much you poured out in pain, he would never get it.

You pushed him away with your arm and with the other you landed a punch in his face, his body swinging to the side, finally liberating yourself from underneath him. You crawled away and used the wall next to you to stand on your feet. you made a run down the corridor, the view of the exit door taunting you as your lungs burned.

It only took a moment for him to follow behind, his steps heavy as he ran after you.

This was your chance to escape, to leave behind all your torments and Jungkook couldn’t take this away from you.

You threw yourself against the door and swung it open, the car waited for you across the parking lot, but you could feel your legs begin to ache. You could hear him yell out your name, but you didn’t dare stop, not even when your heart ached, not even if you wanted to turn around and look at him one last time.

You had concluded that you couldn’t care, that even if you wanted with every fiber of your being to run in his direction, that was not your place, it never was. Being Jungkook’s wife was only a title, a title that was too heavy for you to carry and you hated yourself for the fact that you still felt some kind of connection towards that man, and you hated your parents even more for raising you in this way.

“Y/n don’t you fucking dare get in that car or I swear to fucking god-“ your legs gave out and you stumbled forward, your body colliding with the black SUV that waited for your arrival, you could hear him closing in and you reached for the gun strapped to your thigh, removing the safety.

You turned and pointed the gun directly at him.

He stopped running, his hands reaching to pull out his own gun, you inhaled sharply, the cold breeze cutting into your skin as you both stood face to face, guns drawn out ready to shoot at any twitch of a muscle. You soon realized that you had never been pointed at with a gun and it only made it that much worse that it was him pointing at you. Did he think that he hadn’t caused enough pain to you? Would this be the last thing he took from you? your life?

He was more skilled than you and probably had used his gun to take plenty of lives while you were just a novice, someone whose hands had only shot at fake targets.

“Y/n don’t be a fool put it down” he shouted.

You cocked the gun, setting a bullet into the chamber. He scoffed and then took a step forward causing you to tighten your grip on the weapon “Move and I’ll shoot you Jeon don’t tempt me” you responded.

“what are you a killer now? is that what you want? To be like every sick fuck in there?” he shouted. he knew what nerves to hit, what to say to make you succumb to your own thoughts, but it wouldn’t work this time, you had put too much on the line to let your guilt overtake you. you noticed the blood dripping from his mouth, caused by the punch you had landed on his face and your hand trembled.

“Come on you aren’t like this Y/n” he whispered, he took closer steps towards you and you raised your gun into the air, letting out 2 shots before pointing the gun back at him, you could hear the sound of his shoes halting against the grabble, his eyes widened in shock as he stared you as if he didn’t recognize you.

“You don’t know anything about me” you responded.

You heard the car door slam shut and then footsteps as your driver made his way by your side, his own loaded gun in hand. “Do we have a problem Madam?” his voice was calm, as his finger remained on the trigger, you glanced over at him and shook your head.

“No, I was just saying my final goodbyes,” your voice trembled.

Jungkook stood defeated, his hand reaching to brush away the blood trickling down his chin. You had never seen him react in this way, it truly made you reconsider the cold person you thought he was, all this time he hid himself under a mask of carelessness, and yet behind all of that was a man unraveling with emotions. You lowered your gun, your eyes fixed on him for another short while, you allowed the silence to simmer and then you slipped inside the car, ignoring the subtle pain in his eyes.

From the window you could see Jungkook standing alone, his eyes stuck on the black SUV in which you had just sped off in. You were supposed to be happy, to feel liberation coursing through your veins but instead, you only felt guilt in its place.

‘Lastly, reload your gun.’

𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬! 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝! 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤/𝐝𝐦 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@ane102,@thisartemisnevermisses,@jamlessstars,@cookysstuff,@gyeomibearr,@multiasf ,@lydinews,@vminkookgf,@chl0buggy, @peterstarkchrishiddleston , @koostrawberry , @jcrl99 , @coree730 , @melodiesforari , @taemond-in-the-ruff , @whoa-jo @jksusawife , @hoseoksluv89 , @piecesofapril11 , @coralmusicblaze , @junecat18 , @amiradumas , @mageprincess7 , @heartjiminie , @parkinglot-nights , @douknowbts , @str4gguk , @sarzkh31, @jjk970971 , @xwniazx, @jalexad, @hubbytaehyung, @wobblewobble822, @llallaaa, @gojosatoruhere, @defnotxara , @somehowukook , @jk-190811 , @googie-jeon , @melodiesforari , @harmonic55

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msnanu · 3 months

Text

Libertine 09 | JJK

Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.

❧ Series Masterlist ❧

⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, smut, angst, slow burn, teasing and lots of sexual tension.

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞

❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧

Suddenly you felt shy and flustered under his gaze, his deep voice, that low tone always made you feel things. Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched Jungkook leaning closer and closer to your face. The only thing in your mind right now is how stupidly handsome he is. How perfect that scar in his left cheek looks on him and how you could get lost in that galaxy he seems to own in his eyes.

Anyone that would pass by your side would definitely sense the lust, the yearning and the tension between the two of you. It was as if there was some kind of invisible string always pulling you closer to each other.

“That depends. If I let you in, would you fuck me properly?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up, taken aback. He should be used to your sincerity by now, but you still somehow manage to surprise him every single time. He ruffled his hair, heat rising up his neck and down his sweatpants. A dark look in his eyes that had lust written all over them.

“Haven’t I fucked you properly, Y/N? As I recall you were chanting my name over and over, both times.” He said as he ran his thumb over your lips.

You gasped and tried to maintain your composure. “You did. But you can do a lot better than that Jungkook. Don’t you think?”

Incredulous and thinking he hadn’t heard right; his eyes went wide again. You were challenging him. The wheels in his head seemed to have suddenly start to turn as he assimilated your words.

In a whisper-soft voice he continued “You really seem to enjoy provoking me.” Jungkook gave you his smuggest smile, which hit you square in the belly, sending butterflies fluttering in your lower regions and shooting tingly feelings straight between your legs.

Oh, you really want for him to fuck you so bad.

“I really do,” You stated, thrusting out your chin boldly, a tiny smile playing around your lips.

Your heart’s drum rolled a nervous beat, you felt your pulse quicken and that overwhelming brutal tingling returned with force.

Jungkook appeared to have noticed. He noticed all day how affected you were by his touch or even his words and it made every part of your constant teasing even more enjoyable. He watched you, his gaze sweeping up along your throat, lingering on your lips for an endless second, before he licked his own, tucking the bottom one, issuing a soft growl. He gave you another hungry smile that reached his eyes.

“Well, you might not be able to walk afterwards but with you I’m always down for it, baby.” Then he winked at you.

Rolling your eyes at him and laughing at his cockiness, you turned around and finally opened the door to your apartment leading your way in.

Jungkook was pleasantly surprised at the tidiness of the space. He recalled that once you’ve said that you had a roommate and living with someone else can be a little bit messy sometimes, especially when you are going through college, and you don’t have that much time to clean up. You seemed to have a large space in your two-bedroom apartment, not as big as his own but it had a nice homey vibe.

“Seems like your roommate isn’t here. Much better, we can be as loud as we want” Jungkook began as he inspected your living room.

You met his eyes, he had that look, that lust in his eyes, you could sense how much he wanted to have you right now and there, and you could also feel heat rising to your cheeks now.

“Y-yeah,” you stammered suddenly nervous again.

What the hell is he doing with you? Since when do you get nervous? Stop stammering!

Jungkook was enjoying seeing how flustered you were. What a show.

“Awww, look at you being so cute, blushing.” He stepped closer, reached out to tuck a lock behind you ear.

He then started caressing your face. You didn’t even flinch, but he could see you gulp as you said almost in a whisper, “I’m not blushing.”

Always so stubborn.

“Yes, you are, Y/N.”

He couldn’t keep up with his dominant act for too long because fucking hell, those eyes of yours made him weak. His fingers stroked the sensitive skin just below your ear lobe, where your pulse point throbbed, and you closed your eyes involuntarily. You were truly beautiful.

Your skin flawless, soft and warm, your lips perfectly shaped. Your hair amazing as always, tumbling down your back. Jungkook felt like he was the luckiest man alive at that moment.

Today you’d decided not to wear any make up. Jungkook had no idea he’d find the lack of it so attractive. It made him want to touch every inch of you, feel all of your bareness beneath his fingertips. He felt his cock stir and grow hard and fast; you were making him lose all control of himself without even touching him.

Your eyes fluttered open when you felt his thumb slightly stroking the very edge of your bottom lip, the skin so sensitive there it sent shivers down your spine. Your eyes were locked.

He reached out and with both hands simultaneously touched the soft skin of your shoulders, drank you in, slid his hands over the thin straps that held up your top, his fingers gently moving along your collarbones to meet at the notch. His eyes were feasting on you, every inch he inspected.

His gaze locked on your lips that had slightly parted, clearly begging to be kissed. Holy shit, Jungkook thought. This was a whole other level of exciting. His cock twitched. He swallowed hard once again. What had he gotten himself into? His heart hammered in his chest; his dick was throbbing in his sweatpants imploring him for release. His mind was completely blown as if it were his first time fucking you.

Slowly, trying to hide the trembling of his fingers, he began moving down to your breasts. He wanted to see them again so badly that he wanted to tear off that damn top. Easy, Jungkook, he warned himself.

His hands cupped your firm roundness. A small whimper slipped your lips, then you moaned as he pinched your nipples, hard and pointy, wanting to be freed and played with. He rolled them between his fingers through the fabric, sucked in a breath and groaned.

As your eyes met again, your head was spinning. You couldn’t wait for this hunk of a man to fuck your brains out. Tall and lean, though muscular, and strong. Those lips… they were really doing things with your mind. His bottom lip, plump and so very kissable. You could hardly contain yourself. Your heart hammered in your throat. Sparring was over.

Desperately you surged towards him, throwing your arms around his neck, pushing your hands into his hair, pulling him into you. Jungkook groaned and received you gladly, his hands moving immediately down your back grabbing onto your perfectly round butt, pushing you into him, while the other hand securely held your neck as your lips clashed and your tongues found each other, moans rising and falling.

That damn top needed to go too. He needed to see again and again what had felt so good. He slid his hands up your waist and ribcage and under that flimsy little crop top, pulled it off you, your hair releasing more of that intoxicating scent he’d noticed since he met you for the first time.

You smelled of sun kissed lavender with underlying hints of lemon, so exotic and like nothing he was used to. He needed more of this. He couldn’t believe how fucking needy he was for you. For your scent, for your lips, for your pure skin.

Breathing hard Jungkook tenderly dropped his forehead to yours, watching how your chest rose and fell, your perfect boobs finally his to take in. His pulse racing uncontrollably, his hands quivering once again as he reached to touch and massage those firm round, luscious breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You mewled and panted harder again, bringing your lips to his.

You were riling him up like no one before. You tasted so good, and those tiny noises you made as he roamed with his tongue all over your mouth were driving him fucking nuts. He never ever wanted to let go. Your sneaky hand moved to cup his erection, which had been so deliciously bulging and the ridge clearly visible in his sweats.

“Fuck,” he breathed as your lips pushed and pulled, your tongues playing and teasing. “Yeah, keep doing that, baby. Make it thick and hard…” He kept kissing you, moaning in between as you continued to rub his cock that was begging for release.

You smiled into his lips. “I wanna suck you off so bad.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… You’ve got a nice big cock, Jungkook” You whispered, rubbing him harder, pecking kisses on his lips and Jungkook groaned. “I’ve been thinking about sucking you off all day long.”

“I can see that…” Jungkook panted, pushing his hand down your back into your small clothes once more, squeezing your butt. “You like a nice big cock like mine to fill you up?”

“I-I do” you whimpered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“What else do you want, baby? Tell me”

You wrapped your arms around his neck again, pushing yourself into him, feeling his rock-hard erection pressing into your belly.

“I want your tongue all over my cunt…” You said between lusty kisses. “I’m interested in that, too.”

“Are you now?” Jungkook smiled, returning your kiss eagerly. “You want my tongue to lick you?”

“Yes…Fuck” You moaned. “Yes, I do.”

“Lick you until you cum on my tongue?”

Your breath hitched. “Yes, please”

“Good. I’ll make sure that you cum on my tongue today, baby.”

At this point you couldn’t stop kissing each other until you pulled back a little and caught his gaze; your lips were moist, dark pink, slightly parted and swollen from his delicious abuse, you gently bit your bottom lip, gave him a mischievous grin while you took off his shirt, ranking your hands all over his abs and then winked at him while you slowly slid down his body. You squadded down to his cock’s level, looked up seductively and wet your lips.

Jungkook sucked in a breath and an “Oh shit!” escaped him.

With a deep moan you slowly pulled down his sweatpants and whispered a satisfying “Fuck yes”

Stunned by your eagerness, by your obvious hunger and thirst for him, his hands flew up to the back of your head. He looked down and watched in amazement, as you took him into your hands and stroked his shaft with a tight grip; sizing him up, circling your thumb over and around the sensitive skin of his beautiful head, then smacked your lips and greedily licked the drop of precum off the tip and then finally, after what seemed an eternity of torture to Jungkook, put him in your mouth.

The moist heat surrounding his dick made his breath catch and he grunted as his hands pushed into your hair as you took him deep, nearly to the root but not completely because he was too deliciously big, you went back and forth, licking, sucking, feeding off him. Satiating your hunger for that perfect cock. He tightly gripped your hair as you moved, while his hips went along fluidly with your rhythm, savoring the tightness of your throat.

Jungkook's moans rose making you more wet by the minute, he sounded hot as fuck. He threw his head back and closed his eyes for a second. He could hardly believe what was happening to him. Fucking hell, you were sucking him off like no one else had ever done it, and what a damn joy it was to watch you while doing it too. Holy shit!

His hands holding your hair in a ponytail, his hips thrusting in sync with you, your hand grabbing his thigh so tightly, the other between his legs on his tight ass, pushing him more of him into your mouth even though you couldn’t fit anymore of his cock. You were a moaning mess with his cock filling your mouth, and the vibrations of your moans were making him stupid. He was close to cum already.

Fuck! No. No… he couldn’t allow you to do that. Not today at least. Though he wanted to. Fuck, how he wanted you to. Take his cum in your beautiful mouth, swallow it. Swallow all of his creamy seed as it would squirt down your throat, drink him up… he groaned.

Reluctantly and with the greatest of efforts, costing him all his will power, he slowed his thrusts. “Baby” he soothed, “Y/N…” and eased out of your glorious mouth.

What a fucking shame, he thought, as he stepped back trying to catch his breath. Such a fucking shame.

But you’d asked to be fucked properly. By him. Pride swelling in his chest once more as he pulled you up and into a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on you and relishing it.

Yes, he was going to give you what you’d asked for. He was a man of his word after all. Not that he’d promised anything… But he was eager as if it was his first time with you, as if it he was going to learn what your clit tasted like, what your pussy felt like.

You quickly pushed your shorts and underwear down and kicked them away. Jungkook’s sanity went out of the window as you, shamelessly naked in front of him, breathed and almost sounding like a plea finally said, “Fuck me, Jungkook.”

You turned back walking towards your bedroom as Jungkook followed you behind and planted kisses all over your shoulder and neck.

As you approached your bed you made him look at your eyes while saying “I need you… to fuck me, now.”

Well, fuck, Jungkook thought. That’d also never happened before with other girls. You literally ordered him. And he fucking loved it! Sure, he enjoyed sex with the others, they got him off well enough. But this here was an altogether different experience.

The others never voiced their needs or wants. They let him take what he needed and allocated what he thought they’d like. It never felt equal. Satisfying, yes. Equal, no. And you being so bossy was making his cock twitch.

“Yes, ma’am!” Jungkook did a mock salute and you both started giggling like idiots.

You swiftly closed the distance between you two and push him into your bed while he also pulled you on top of him. You shrieked but quickly recovered, pushing up onto your hands, straddling him.

“Wait! Condom?”

Jungkook hadn’t even realized that he was about to fuck you raw until you voiced it out.

“Fuck. I didn’t bring any here with me.”

He saw you hesitate for a second before you spoke again.

“Well, I'm on the pills and I'm clean. Are you?”

“Yeah, I'm clean too.”

“Okay, then fuck me already.”

Jungkook had never seen anything more beautiful than this gorgeous bundle of enthusiasm, confidence and lust sitting on top of him, now lifting your bum to reposition yourself. Your hair brushing your nipples, perfect little rose-colored buds they were, standing stiffly to attention; your lips slightly parted with small noises issuing. He could feel your heat and wetness on his lower belly.

You were so wet for him, so ready to take what you asked for. It made his heart hammer even harder in anticipation thinking that he was gonna finally fuck you raw and he felt his cock twitch as you shifted backwards, looked down and reached between your legs to guide him in.

Jungkook watched with growing need, needing to shove himself deep into your slick warmth, his patience dwindling, his breaths growing ragged.

“Put it in,” he huffed and shimmied towards your opening.

A fit of giggles came out of your menacing mouth. You were such a tease.

“You want this, don’t you Jungkook?” You freaking smiled, then touched his tip with your wetness and shrieked in surprise as Jungkook immediately thrust his hips up.

“Fucking yes!” Jungkook snarled, his hands grabbing your hips pushing you into him and you throwing your head back taking his rams willingly, needily, your boobs bouncing as he kept pounding upwards into you.

Moaning loudly, you let him take the lead, rigidly kneeling above him to take his assault on your sex, soaking up the pleasure he was giving you like water on hot desert rocks. You loved that feeling of his cock sliding in and out of you, couldn’t get enough of him hitting you so perfectly, finding that spot that would grant you that much needed climax.

You could feel it build up, needing to chase that tingly feeling deep inside. You lowered yourself down onto him, feeling him deep within you and began moving your hips frantically, back and forth, pushing your clit into his lubricious groin, rubbing yourself against him with such need, that it only took you a few seconds to be so close you thought you were about to burst. Your breaths grew ragged and high-pitched as you chased to catch your release.

Jungkook could feel your muscles tense, clenching around him, “Come on baby, cum for me,” he panted. “Cum on my dick”

His hands on your hips, he helped slide you against him, watching your sex move against his, urging you on, then your breath caught, your lean body shuddering, falling apart in his hands, whimpering and slowing your moves, pushing hard onto him, trying desperately to prolong the exquisite feeling between your legs.

“Good girl, Y/N,” Jungkook whispered as his hands moved behind you, held your bum and quickly flipped you onto your back.

You again screamed in surprise, but happily received this new position, his hands all over you now, his lips kissing every inch of your bare skin, ravenously moaning, whispering tiny curses, biting, nibbling, pinching your nipples and massaging your breast until you writhed underneath him, then finding his way up to your earlobe, breathing “There’s more where that came from.”

“Yes, please, yes. Keep fucking me,” you wailed and tilted your hips up, trying to find his cock once more.

“Fuck. I love how you’re always so wet for me, Y/N” he groaned, reached for himself between your legs, slid the bulging head carefully up and down your juicy dripping pussy, then eased in and let you have it. He rose to his knees, his hand around the base of your throat, his thrusts hard and fast, panting, sweat dripping on his tight abs.

Your heart hammered a most delicious beat, loving every second of it. This was exactly what you had asked for, what you had wanted, needed. Jungkook seemed to know all your spots and tended to them expertly.

Here now, in this moment with him, you didn’t even care that your walls were thin as hell and your neighbors might hear you, as a matter of fact, you relished in it.

Jungkook felt your tightness close in on him, he wouldn’t last much longer. Your pussy being so seductively sweet and juicy, your vigor so alluring, threatening to take him sooner than he liked. He wanted this to last for so much longer. Especially now that you were pulling him down to him, your lips finding his again, pushing and pulling, breathing life into him.

Then suddenly you gasped, your legs spreading even further for him, pushing yourself against him, he knew you were going to cum again.

His heart skipped a beat, this was his chance. He had wanted you to cum on his tongue, he had promised you that. So, he slowed, pulled out, leaving you exasperated “No! Don’t stop!!”

But he got to his knees in front of your bed, pulled you to the edge, buried his face in your pussy and you shrieked once again in surprise.

“Oh fuck!” you moaned, and your hands grabbed his hair, pushing him into you as he lapped your mingled moisture on your folds, pushed his tongue into the hot opening of your pussy, then circled your clit, lapped at it like a cat greedy for the last drop of milk.

“Yes, Jungkook! Oh, fuck yes!!!” You shrieked as your shoulder lifted off the mattress, your abs crunching, pushing his face hard into you.

“Jungkook!!” you panted as you shattered beneath his tongue, throbbing, climaxing hard and your legs quivering; Jungkook’s heart gave a fantastic start at you calling out his name so very loudly for everyone to hear. He could cum just by hearing you moaning his name.

As soon as you relaxed your grip on his hair, he flipped you over once more, forcefully pushed your legs apart with his knees, then grabbed your wrists and brought them together behind your back, restraining you.

Holding your wrists with one hand, while the other held a firm grip on your shoulder, Jungkook fucked you hard and within a few thrusts, he felt his own release edging closer. While you cried and moaned with pleasure, Jungkook’s insights turned to fire, pooling at the base of his cock, bubbling underneath the surface to be soon released.

Growing pressure built in his groin, he would burst. Tightness grabbed his hips as he thrusted, sliding in and out, you compressing around him so deliciously, hot and slick. He groaned, the pressure consuming his crotch as he grounded into you deep, so very deep, your mewls music to his ears.

It was building again, you could feel the flame of desire in your belly creeping up your spin, lighting your skin on fire as it went, stealing the breath from your lungs. His cockhead was battering against your g-spot, causing the corners of your vision to go white. Jungkook had been close to cum for a while now, but he needed to make you come undone in a particular manner before he could truly be satisfied with himself.

No man had ever fucked you like this before. The pleasure you were feeling was extreme.

It felt like a star exploding inside you when it started. There was a warmth deep in your bones, spreading out through every vein of your body and fluttering up through your skin. Your cunt spasmed around him, gripping him so tight his hips slowed so that he could savor every ridge of your cunt and commit it to memory.

He gave you two more solid strokes to your sweet spot before stilling completely, he lifted his hips as he settled himself in you, knocking his cock head into your g-spot and keeping it there. With that you were crying out as you begin to gush around his cock, squirting all over it. Slick spurted forth and coated the hairs growing at the base of his cock, mixing with the sweat already dripping down his body.

Seeing you squirting all over his cock was the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut. He tightened his grip on your wrists and shoulder to keep you from moving away, so he could push all of himself into you, every last inch buried deep in your glorious pussy. He felt his cock grow to its ultimate size and with one more thrust he exploded into you with raging force; he leaned forward, growling with every squirt, pushed into you tightly, held on for dear life, every muscle tense, his teeth biting down on the perfectly sweet and salty skin of your shoulder blade.

He shuddered and as the last wave of orgasmic rivulets ebbed away, Jungkook loosened his hold of your wrists. You moved your arms to the front to push yourself up on them and looked over your shoulder to watch him. Spent, he relaxed his bite on you, his forehead still between your shoulder blades, kissing your moist skin as he tried to slow his breathing.

“Fuck. That was so...” You managed to say, fluffing your hair a moment later, as he pulled out.

You couldn’t even finish your phrase, but Jungkook knew exactly what you were thinking. Amazing.

“Yeah, I know, it really was.” He said trying to catch some air.

Both of your thighs were trembling, finally giving in to fatigue as you collapsed into one another. Once you did, Jungkook didn’t waste any time kissing your lips once again, as if his life depended on it.

He was fucking enchanted with you. Every time you had sex, every time you talked, every time he saw you, he’d end up with overwhelming feelings that flooded his mind, confusing him more and more. He blew away those thoughts this time, trying to enjoy the moment, trying to enjoy having you in his arms.

Limbs entwined; you laid there for a while. A whine leaked out when your lips finally parted making him smile, but you were grateful to be able to breathe more freely. Jungkook kept pressing kisses along the curve of your neck in between breathes.

It would be best to stretch out your muscles after such strenuous activities, but you’re not ready to move just yet.

“We should take a shower.”

“Mmhmm”

The mumbling coming out of Jungkook who had his face against the crook of your neck made you giggle. “Are you falling sleep, Jungkook?”

“Just a little nap, please.”

“Okay, a few minutes of nap and we’ll shower afterwards.”

Truth to be told, you wanted to take a nap too. You were almost certain that your legs didn’t work anymore, and your eyes were begging to have some rest. It didn’t take more than a minute before you both were peacefully asleep.

A few minutes turned into hours of sleeping holding each other. You were the first one to open your eyes and you couldn’t help to smile seeing Jungkook by your side with his arm around your waist, holding you as if you were going to escape or something. He had the cutest pout in his mouth as he slept safe and sound. That really made you want to kiss the fuck out of him.

Wait. Since when you think Jungkook is cute? - you thought before Jungkook’s low voice woke you up of your overthinking trance.

“Are you one of those creepy people that like to watch others sleep?”

You giggled.

“No, it’s just that you looked too innocent and peaceful. Nothing like the real Jungkook”

“Screw you” he said laughing as he rubbed his eyes and stretched himself in bed.

“Well, already did that earlier.”

“Oh yes I did, and we can repeat that now that I’m fully recharged.” He smiled as he started kissing your neck slowly. It was incredible how a few kisses were enough to start a fire between your legs. He was addictive.

“J-Jungkook.” You pleaded with a shaky voice, and you don’t know where you got the strength, but you stopped him as he whined like a baby. “C-come on, we should take a shower and I should change these sheets too. We’re both sticky.”

“Okay, but I don’t have any clothes to wear.” He said as he sat against your bed frame. “Oh! Unless you want me to be naked, I don’t mind.” He joked and winked at you.

Rolling your eyes at him and trying to avoid taking one minimal look at his sculpted body, -because you knew you were going to lose it - you stated, “I might actually have something in my closet for you to wear.”

“Don’t tell me it’s one of your ex’s clothes.”

Scrunching your nose as if he’d said the most disgusting thing in the world. “God, no. It’s my best friends clothes, he stayed here a few weeks last summer because he was renovating his apartment and left some clothes behind. I always forget to give it back to him.”

“Best friend, huh?” He lifted your face, making you look him straight to those beautiful doe eyes. God, how difficult it was to be around him. He was making you feel things in your tummy and a little more south too.

You tried to maintain your composure without showing any reaction as you explained how you met Hobi.

“Yes, Hobi and I…we met through Jihyo, they share the same classes and we’ve been buddies for years.”

“And have you ever two….?” Jungkook asked, seeing you smiling.

Is he jealous of Hobi? He cannot be real. This was beyond funny for you.

“Had sex? No, never. He is like a brother to me; we don’t see each other that way.”

He must be blind- or gay-, Jungkook thought. Is not possible to be around you and not seeing you in that way. You’re mesmerizing. He didn’t know why but he felt relief when you said that you didn’t sleep with your best friend.

“Good.”

“Good?” That took a proper laugh of you. “Okay mister, enough with the interrogation, I really need to clean myself.”

He groaned as he watched you getting up while putting a silk robe you had on the side of your bed and went straight to your bathroom.

You’d turned on the shower as he followed you in, and let the hot water run over your bodies for a few minutes as both of you cleaned up each other.

Being right next to Jungkook when he is all wet, naked and cleaning himself is not good for your health. You were already losing it when you were in bed earlier, you wanted to kiss him and ride him until you couldn’t move anymore.

You definitely didn’t have any more strength to hold on when you finished cleaning your body and shoved Jungkook against the shower wall as he gave you a smirk and stepped in, letting him encircle you with his arms, feeling his hands drop to your butt.

You moaned as he squeezed, going a bit rough, but as close as you were, you could feel his dick squashed in between you two, twitching against your lower belly.

You were insatiable, you couldn’t get enough of him, and the good thing was that he felt exactly the same about you.

Jungkook kissed you, pressing his mouth against yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth, where it danced with yours, and his hands continued to massage your ass. Then you pulled away.

You grinned and dropped to your knees, and you wrapped both of your hands around his cock in front of you. Jungkook moaned loudly, closing his eyes and leaning back, when he felt your hands disappear, and then a warm, wet sensation as you slid his cock into your mouth.

You took as much as you could into your mouth, letting your tongue roll around it, before you started to bob your head back and forward. Jungkook let his hands entwine through your hair as you sucked hard.

He felt your hands come back up, one reaching around to grab his ass, while the other massaged his balls. Jungkook looked down and saw your eyes staring up at his face as you let his dick go with a loud pop.

You smirked up at him and gave the tip of his dick a little kiss before standing up.

This must be heaven, he thought.

"My turn," you said in a sultry voice, putting your hands on Jungkook's shoulders and swapping places with him so that you could be now the one leaning against the wall.

Jungkook smirked and kissed your mouth again, pushing you harder against the wall. He then let one of his hands slide slowly down your body until reaching your pussy. You shuddered and spread your legs as Jungkook's fingers rubbed against you, alternating between the clit and teasing at the entrance.

Just as his middle finger slipped inside, his tongue also pressed into your mouth. Your tongues fought each other, until Jungkook surprised you by putting in another finger.

You gasped into his mouth, and he pulled away with a smirk. Your hands, which had been against the wall, came down to Jungkook's hair, and pushed him down. Jungkook laughed a bit and let you push him to your boobs.

He kissed in between them first, going down the middle, before slowly moving kisses towards a side. He kissed slowly and circled the stiff nipple that you had tried to push his head towards, but the teasing, and the hand between your legs, meant that you didn't put too much effort into it.

Jungkook's head then pulled away, and you growled at him, before he went for the other side, going straight for the nipple. You gasped again as Jungkook sucked hard, letting it slide from his mouth, before rolling his tongue around it. He bit gently, just grazing his teeth against it, making you squirm a bit more.

He let your breasts go, and started to trail kisses even further downward, down your chest, then dropping to his knees, and across your belly, before arriving at your folds. You spread your legs a bit more for him and looked down to watch his tongue press against your clit.

You closed your eyes at the pleasure, leaning back as he had done, and let him kiss and suck at your clit.

“Fuck. You’re so so good.”

“Yeah, baby? Show me how good, be a good girl and cum all over my tongue.”

Fucking hell. He was going to kill you and your pussy with his dirty talk.

Jungkook pulled his fingers out of your pussy and let his tongue push inside you. It didn't go in much, but you did feel the pressure, and squeezed his hair.

Jungkook continued to lick, and you felt yourself going closer and closer to your orgasm. Then he sucked at your clit, and thrusted three fingers inside you, curling them upwards, and you lost it. He took out of you the most pornographic moan, your fingers pulled at his hair, and your thighs almost clamped together as you let your body win.

When it died down, you let your thighs unclench, and Jungkook pulled his fingers and tongue away. He stood up and kissed you slowly.

“It drives me insane how good you taste, Y/N.”

You looked at him in awe and grabbed his face kissing him harder, letting him feel what you wanted. You pulled your mouth away, kissing along his jaw, until you got to his ear.

"Fuck me," you whispered. Jungkook grinned, and you felt the shower water start pressing against your ass, letting you lean back a little more, and spread your legs much wider. Jungkook grabbed his dick and rubbed the tip of it against your folds for a second before pushing it in. You both sighed in pleasure as his entire length filled you up.

He went slowly at first, letting your body adjust, but quickly began speeding up. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, pulling him deeper, and hoisting yourself up. Jungkook grunted and pressed your back against the wall as he fucked you. You let out moans and gasps and started to use your own body strength to go harder.

It didn't take long before you started to feel Jungkook's thrusts becoming more and more erratic. You moaned extra loud at the thought of being filled by his seeds again, and pulled your body harder against Jungkook's, pulling him in deeper.

You heard him gasp, and then felt his cum explode in you, felt the heat as Jungkook filled you up. He shuddered, and you let your legs drop. Jungkook's dick slipped out of you, and, with a quick kiss on his lips, you dropped down and once more returned your mouth to his cock taking him by surprise. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

You sucked and licked him up until his cock was clean extending even more his orgasm as you felt his cock twitching in your mouth, and he kept mumbling curses and gasping for air. When you finished you stood up again, showing him your tongue, proof that you swallowed it all.

You smirked seeing his big Bambi eyes widened in surprise and spoke "You know, it really drives me crazy how good you taste too.”

Jungkook was amazed, you were perfect, you were gorgeous. And you were there with him. "God. You’re so fucking hot, Y/N.”

You grinned throwing your arms around his neck as Jungkook's hands went around your ass and he smiled you back. "And who knew you could be so sexy while soaking wet, Jeon Jungkook.”

“No offense but don’t you have anything less colorful?” Jungkook said sitting on your bed wearing nothing, but a towel wrapped around his hips while observing the yellowish shirt that you pulled out from your closet. You had already changed into new fresh clothes.

“Um. No, sorry, Hobi really loves bright colors. He didn’t leave anything black or white here.” Clearly hinting at the colors that Jungkook usually likes to wear.

“It suits you though.” You say as you see Jungkook hesitating.

“You think?”

“I mean, with that face and that body you might as well use a clown’s outfit and you’ll still be the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.” You said without a filter.

He tilted his head, surprised to hear something like that coming from you as he smiled widely. “And here I was, thinking you were incapable of giving someone a compliment.”

“That's because you have a prejudiced mind.” You bit your lip laughing. “I can give a compliment anytime I want, sweetie. I just thoroughly choose who deserves to hear it.”

“So, that means you think I deserve to hear it?” He finally put the shirt on and came closer to where you were standing next to your closet with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well, you’ve been a good boy today. You gave me a fair number of orgasms. I think this time you really deserve it.”

“I can give you more of those today.” He said as he put his arms around your waist and caressed your face. You automatically closed your eyes enjoying his touch.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Jeon Jungkook.”

As you opened your eyes again, you saw something in his eyes. Something that made your heart skip a beat. He was looking at you with such intensity, with a longing that even seemed like love. You felt nervous at the thought of it and quickly tried to brush away whatever you were feeling.

“W-we should eat something. I’m starving”

Not saying anything else, you freed yourself from his hold and turned to your kitchen to see if there was something left in your pantry that you could use to cook something for you both.

You heard Jungkook steps behind you. As you were looking something to cook, he sat in a stool next to your kitchen island.

“So, when is your roommate coming?” He asked with curiosity. Hours had passed by, and you were still all alone. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, not at all. In any case, it was better, you could enjoy yourselves without thinking about someone else being there.

“Oh yeah, about that, I'm living on my own now. My roommate moved out this past weekend.”

“Really? Did something happen between you two?”

“No, not at all. She was cool, but she already spent most of her time with her boyfriend and barely stayed here so she decided to move to his apartment. It made a lot more sense” You explained as you grabbed a box of Italian pasta from the pantry. “You like pasta? I can make some for us.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Later he slurped two plates of pasta as you watched him fondly and giggled, whoever heard the sounds coming out of him right now would think anything but he’s eating. “You always moan when you eat?”

“When it tastes this good, yes.” He simply said shrugging.

Afterwards he fought with you over who was going to wash the dishes – he wanted to do it, but you were refusing – PS: he won.

“You’re really good cooking” said Jungkook as he finished cleaning the dirty dishes.

You scoffed. “Why the tone of surprise? Didn’t think I was able to cook?”

Jungkook laughed along with you. He couldn’t stop thinking how much he was enjoying being here with you. Today he felt like this was the genuine Y/N. The one that just your close ones would be able to enjoy. A nice, beautiful and cool girl that could have the most enjoyable conversations.

You continued to talk for a while and then ended up watching TV in your sofa, both sprawled, your head laying in his chest as his arms surrounded your body. He couldn’t remember the last time he had spent this much time with the same girl and smiling at the same time. Maybe this never had happened him before.

Jungkook was slowly realizing that his dad was probably going to be waiting for him at his place, at least for a few more hours, just as he had said before when you left the restaurant with him. He really didn’t want to deal with his father again today.

After having such an amazing time with you, it didn’t feel right to go back to his home and listen the same old preach about being more serious with college, that his father was paying for. Jungkook wasn’t even studying something that he had choose to.

You lifted your head sensing that something was bothering him. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that my father must be waiting for me at my place at least until night, and I really don’t want to deal with him today.”

You don’t blame him honestly; you wouldn’t want to go back to your home and deal with someone like his father either.

“Then don’t. You don’t have to deal with him today if you don’t feel like doing it.”

Seeing Jungkook’s face was enough to know that he was still overthinking about his father and how suffocating it was to even have a conversation with him.

“Let’s go.” You said as you got up and grabbed his hand.

That phrase of yours made him stop overthinking instantly as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Where?”

“To my spot.”

“I didn’t even know this place existed.” Jungkook said as he enjoyed the most beautiful view of the city. “I mean, I came to Namsan Tower a few times before, but I never knew about this garden right next to it.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I always come here when I need time to sort my thoughts. It’s always so quiet and you still have amazing views.” You said with a smile plastered on your face. You loved this place. Whenever you had too much in your mind, it will always bring peace to you.

A few seconds of silence followed your words. Both of you sitting on a rock, surrounded by the botanical garden watching the amazing lights of Seoul that brighten up the sky when you suddenly decided to break the silence.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” His eyebrows furrowing when you looked at him, he clearly didn’t know what you were talking about. And he was even more surprised that you were apologizing to him. “About my dad.” You sucked in breath and took a second before saying “I lied to your dad too, you know.”

Okay, now he was lost. You didn’t say to him that your dad was dead, but you did tell it to his father. What were you lying about then?

“My father is alive.” His eyes widened but not fully understanding where the hell are you going with this. You understood his confusion, so you continued to explain yourself.

“He left my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me. They were really young; they were dating while still in college. He said he didn’t want a child at that moment. My father’s family is a very wealthy family and being part of the high society, they had huge expectations for him. His son had to finish his studies, get married and then have children. It couldn’t be any other way; it would be a disgrace for them if it did.”

Jungkook was soon regretting the way he felt when he heard that your dad was dead, and that you choose not to tell him. He didn't think that the background story could be this deep.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He didn’t know what else to say. What do you say in this type of situations? You finally were opening up to him, and he had no words.

“Don’t be. It’s better off this way honestly.”

“Do you actually know who your dad is?”

“I do; yes.” You nodded as you kept your eyes in the sky above you. “My mom was always straight forward with me about it. She told me the truth about my dad when I was a kid, she never lied about who he was and what happened. But his family made her suffer a lot, they even offered her money to make sure she wouldn't contact them again. Of course, she didn’t accept it. Mom always told me that if I wanted to know anything about my dad, that I should just ask her. She made it very clear that she didn’t want for me to try to reconnect with him or his family.”

“But you did try.”

You nodded again. “Yes, years ago, right before moving to Seoul. I had the stupid hope that maybe after all these years my father would somehow regret his decisions back then.”

“What happened then?”

“I showed up at his office, said my name to his secretary, I knew he was gonna know who I was. He is the CEO of a big publicity company back home, it’s my grandfather’s company.”

Jungkook nodded as he listened attentively.

“He told me that if I ever showed up my face again there, he would find the way to sue me and my mom for harassment and make sure to take everything away from us. That he made very clear to my mother that he didn’t want anything to do with us.” You took a breath and almost chocked with your next words. “A-and that he even told her that he wanted her to abort. That last part was the only thing that my mom never told me. That's when I completely understood why she didn't want me to contact my father, she was just protecting me.”

And Jungkook thought his father was the worst. What a turn of events.

“That’s so fucked up, Y/N. How could someone be like that with his own daughter? What an asshole.”

You huffed. “Well, he doesn’t consider me as his daughter. Funny thing tho, when I went to see him, I saw a portrait on his desk of his real ‘family’. His wife and two kids. He has a daughter and a son.”

Jungkook felt so bad for you. How could it be possible for someone to reject his own blood? And just to maintain a certain social status. So fucked up.

“Listen, I’m not used to tell anyone about this because it’s just so fucking pathetic and embarrassing. Only Jihyo, Joy and Hobi and well, now you, know about it.” You said looking at him. The sadness in your eyes made Jungkook feel a lump in his throat.

“That’s why I lied to you and your dad. Every time someone asks me directly about my father, it’s always easier to say that he is dead. Which he is, at least for me. So, I’m sorry for lying to you about it.”

At this point, he just wanted to hug you and not letting you go. He now understood why you had always that defensive attitude. Not only your dad abandoned you and your mom, but he’d also threaten to sue you if you ever reached out to him again. The pain you must’ve felt was unimaginable.

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders pulling you closer to him as he planted a kiss in your forehead. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay. And you shouldn’t be the one to feel embarrassed. The only one who’s pathetic and embarrassing is your father.”

“You’re right about that.” You said as you were resting your head in his shoulders with a little smile on your lips.

“Hey” He said softly as he looked at you. You turned your head up to look at him too. “If you ever need someone to talk, you know you can count on me Y/N.”

Your heart was pounding so hard. Your hand reached out to his face, caressing it with so much tenderness “I know. Same goes to you.”

He smiled at you and grabbed you by the chin connecting his lips against yours. He had never felt this close to anyone, ever.

Jungkook never was one to believe in silly things like karma. "What goes around comes around." Or destiny. If things like that were real, the world wouldn't be such a terrible place where bastard CEOs made billions and destroyed those beneath them then got to lounge by pools with billions of dollars.

He'd adopted a mindset of "don't hate the player, hate the game." He was never deliberately an asshole. Not once did he ever sweet talk a girl promising her a relationship and eternal love only to dump her as soon as he got laid.

Granted, some people may call him an asshole for getting women into bed then never talking to them again. But really, that wasn't his problem. If the girls wanted to get their feelings hurt over some dick, that was on them.

He didn't really believe in love.

At least, he hadn't before.

It was weird. Usually, he was ready to move on to the next woman as soon as he'd gotten laid, but Jungkook just wanted to see you again. Fuck you again. Pull you close underneath the sheets and enjoy the warmth that you radiated. Have you kiss his cheeks, his lips, his temples, his body.

He was so bad at feelings. Was it fear or was it pride? Was he ashamed of the fact he was scared of the new feelings he was experiencing? Either way, he didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t want to admit that there was more to it than just the best fuck of his life.

Jungkook had been avoiding you for quite a while now; well, you hadn’t talk since he left you in your apartment that night after going to Namsan Tower. That was only two days ago, and he knew you were swamped with college stuff so maybe you didn’t even realize about his sudden lack of communication.

He wasn’t sure exactly why he was avoiding you; it wasn’t like you had done anything wrong, it was as if something was mentally blocking him after getting so close to you, it was too close for him. He wanted to go over to you and talk to you, tell you why he had been avoiding you but he couldn’t.

He spent these last few nights thinking and thinking before shutting off. He is not someone that could make people stay. Numerous girls had explicitly said that. The notion of ever finding love with his kind of personality? The possibility is probably zero.

It wasn’t complete rocket science that he held you in high remark, he admired you sure but love? He wasn’t fully sure; he was in denial. But how does someone even know they love someone?

Maybe he was spending too much time with you. Since you’ve started sleeping together, he unconsciously stopped sleeping with other girls. Maybe that was the issue, he needed to sleep with someone else and maybe all those intrusive thoughts would disappear.

Jungkook being Jungkook decided to deal with it the best way he knew how. He didn’t want to be an asshole, but he was about to be one.

It was easier to fuck another girl than deal with his feelings about you. So, he grabbed his phone and called the first one of the many girls that had sent him a message to hook up in these past few days.

Something felt wrong, but he did it anyways.

He needed to take you out of his mind for a while. Or at least he had to confirm if maybe these new feelings he was developing were just a product of you two spending too much time together.

What a fucking day. Your Philosophy essay didn’t go as expected. You had worked so hard and yet you failed.

"I'd like to talk to you after class, Ms.Y/L/N" Professor Baekhyun said to you as he slid your essay onto the table in front of you, you gulped seeing the big red F in the corner, the third one that month. All semester you've been failing his class getting more depressed with every sad glance he threw your way; every paper had that big red F in the corner, and you had just given up before he approached you.

You couldn’t even understand what was wrong with your essays at this point. You started to think the professor had some kind of grudge against you. Even if he didn’t have any reason to in the first place.

After class, you headed to his office steeling yourself for whatever he might say to you knowing it would be anything but good news. You stepped into the room seeing your professor sitting behind his desk, he gestured for you to sit in the seat in front of him.

"I'm guessing you know why you're here." You nodded gripping the hem of your skirt and looking down. You heard your professor sigh as he typed something on his computer.

"Well, the problem we have here is that you currently have a D- in my class and you need at least a D+ to pass, but I have some extra credit you could do for me." You looked up with hope in your eyes only to see your professor gazing at you with a dark look in his eyes.

He stood behind his desk making his way over to you, stranding behind you he ran his hand over the back of your chair before spinning you around to face him.

"Would you like to do the extra credit?" He lifted your head up making you look him in the eyes. Far from freezing in your spot, you got up instantly and you made your way to the door ready to run if it was necessary.

“What the hell are you implying, Professor? This is inappropriate.”

Sadly, you had heard stories about this professor. Everyone over the campus knew he had a reputation of being a disgusting libidinous man, but for you it was just that, stories. At least until today.

He also was the son of the dean which made it almost impossible that any accusations towards him were taking seriously. You’d tried to ignore the times you caught him staring at your cleavage or the times he’d got too close of your ear to talk to you over something related to the class.

Hearing the tone that you used to respond, the professor clearly understood he wasn’t going to get anything from you. His demeanor changed within a second and he furrowed his eyebrows, acting as if he didn’t understand what all the fuss was.

“I wasn’t implying anything Ms.Y/L/N. I suggest you calm yourself or I’m afraid you won’t have any chance to pass this class.”

You motherfucking pervert, you thought. You took a deep breath, just because you knew you had to do everything in your power to pass this class and never again deal with this pervert.

“Could you please tell me what I have to do to earn the extra credits?”

“Of course, you will have to redo the last three essays that you failed. By next week.”

What a pain in the ass. But anything is better than getting stuck in his class once again.

“Will do. Thank you, Professor.” You said swallowing your pride as you opened the door and left, almost wanting to barf at the falseness of his smile. It was disgusting.

By the time you were arriving to your building entrance, you were already with a unsufferable headache, and you were blinking away some tears. You had such a shitty day; you couldn’t believe the nerves on that pervert, and you were angry thinking that he has done this to other girls too.

You needed to relax, or else you were going to explode. Your mind went to straight Jungkook and his words the last time you saw each other.

“If you ever need someone to talk, you know you can count on me Y/N.”

Well, maybe you could hang out with him. You haven’t been able to have fun for the last two days since you were studying and working on your essays so hard. And it didn’t even pay off. You grabbed your phone as you sat in a bench outside your building and looked for Jungkook’s contact.

As you waited for him to pick up, you dried the tears on your face with the back of your hand, you didn’t want anyone to see you crying.

You were about to hang up when he finally picked up the call. He sounded a little bit out of air. “H-hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“Hey, by any chance are you at your place?”

“U-uh, no. I-I’m on the campus.” More exactly, on the backseat of his car. With a girl on top of him that he doesn’t remember her name, sucking his neck, drawing hickeys all over it but he wasn’t going to tell you that. “Why? Are you okay?”

No.

“Yeah, I just- Um, I thought maybe we could hang out, but maybe I’ll better go to Jihyo’s.”

You did not sound okay. Not at all. He could sense something was troubling you.

The girl moaned loudly as she rubbed herself on Jungkook’s groin. Hopefully you didn’t hear that.

Your eyes widened as you heard what you were pretty sure it was a moaning from a girl. You felt like an idiot. You instantly regretted calling him.

“Where are you now?” Asked immediately Jungkook, putting his hand on the girl’s mouth to shut her up.

He didn’t even get a response from you, you just hung up the call. Whatever or whoever he was doing, you didn’t want to hear anything more.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This hadn’t been a good idea, thought Jungkook. It didn’t feel good either. He stopped the girl’s hands that were roaming all over his body.

“I have to go.”

The girl looked at him puzzled. “What?” She tried to rub herself again on Jungkook and kiss him, but he stopped her immediately. She tilted her head saying “Don’t you want me to suck you off? Come on, you’ll enjoy it.”

“No thank you, now please get the fuck out of my car.” He said roughly, he knew it was the only way to get this girl out of his car.

“You are such a dick.”

“Yeah, I know that.” He mumbled as the girl left and he got to the front seat of his car. He just wanted to go and look for you.

You were staring at the floor, spacing out since you hung up the call with Jungkook. No more tears streaming down your face, but the headache was growing stronger. You just wanted for this day to be over.

“Y/N?” You suddenly heard a male voice near you. You lifted your head to see who the person was talking to you.

You knew this guy. Wait, no! You slept with this guy. And of course, you forgot his name.

“Mingyu, remember?”

Ohhh! That guy!

“Yes, Mingyu! Right.” He smiled at you, and you smiled back, not as widely as him but you did smile. Gosh, you forgot he was this handsome. “Sorry, I’m not the best when it comes to remembering names.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mean to intrude but are you okay?”

“Actually no. I have a massive headache that I think it might turn into a migraine any time soon. College is draining my brain.” You said with a light chuckle as he nodded and chuckled too, you not wanting to go any further with details. “What were you doing here anyways?”

“I was on my way to the coffee store; I just finished a study session with a friend of mine that lives in that grey building over there.” He said pointing at the building right next to yours.

You think you remember something that he said the night you slept together, about him knowing this area because of one of his friends. Or maybe you’re just imagining things.

You nodded and stayed in silence while rubbing your temples, the headache was slowly increasing.

“Listen, I have some Advil here if you want. I always have some with me, every time I finish with exams, I end up with huge headaches from the stress.”

“That sounds so relatable.” You say as you chuckled again. “Um, yeah, if you don’t mind, I’ll go with you to the coffee store and buy something for myself, I really don’t like to take those kinds of pills without a drink.”

“Sure.” He said as you both started walking towards the coffee store, it was a few meters away from your building.

“What do you wanna have? My treat.” Said Mingyu as he looked at you.

“Oh, no, no, I’ll pay for myself.” You refused profusely.

You really didn’t want him to pay your drink. He might get the wrong idea. Or he might end up asking you out on a date. Oh, the headache is not even letting you think straight.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just a drink, Y/N.”

Okay. He’s just being friendly. Okay.

You nodded. “An iced americano, please.”

“Sit here” He said pointing at the bench outside the store. “You should take some fresh air. I’ll order and bring it to you.”

This is so weird. This guy was being incredibly gentle with you, especially having in consideration that you had made a false promise of calling him back that morning after you slept together. You almost felt guilty of accepting his treat. Clearly you didn’t deserve it.

You were feeling your head was about to explode, so you got up and walked to the restroom inside the coffee store to wash your face with cold water, in the hopes of feeling a little bit better.

On the way there, you saw that Mingyu was already finishing paying for your drinks so you told him to put the Advil inside your drink so it would be diluted by the time you got back from the restroom.

Ever since you were young, you hated to swallow big pills because you always got this awful feeling like they got stuck in your throat, so you’d always put them inside a drink to make it easier for you to take it.

Jungkook had arrived at your place right before you got up from the bench and watched all the sequence of you talking with Mingyu and then going to the coffee store with him.

Who the fuck is that guy? Was all he could think of. Jealousy invading every inch of his body.

He saw as you entered the coffee store, said something to this guy who seemed to be in the counter ordering – whoever he is – and then walking towards the restroom.

The guy sat in a bench outside, opened one of the lids of the drinks he was holding and dropped a pill inside of it that he had taken from his backpack.

Jungkook’s brain started to make connections. Could that be a roofie? What if the guy wanted to drug you and take advantage of you? No, it can’t be. Maybe it’s just his drink.

As soon as he saw you approaching this guy again and that he was holding for you the drink where he dropped the pill, Jungkook got out from his car. You had started to walk away with the guy towards your building entrance and you were about to have a sip of the drink in your hand when all the sudden Jungkook appeared out of nowhere, hitting your plastic cup and spilling all its contents on the floor.

Mingyu observed dumbfounded the scene unraveling in front of him.

“What the actual fuck, Jungkook?”

“I saw him putting something in your drink.” Jungkook sounded so proud of himself as if he had just saved you from a pack of lions trying to eat you.

“Yes, because I asked him to do it.”

Huh? You asked him to put a pill in your drink?

“What?” Said Jungkook almost in a whisper.

You huffed and then gave Mingyu the most apologetic look, who clearly had a question mark all over his face, “Thanks for the Advil and the drink, Mingyu. I owe you one.”

Luckily, Mingyu got the memo pretty quickly and as he took one last look between the two of you, he said “No worries. See you, Y/N.”

As soon as you saw Mingyu was already a considerable distance away and you had enough privacy to talk, you gave Jungkook an stern look as you crossed your arms in your chest. “Were you just following me?”

“No, I was-” He cut himself, frustration growing inside of him. “You didn’t sound okay when you called me, so I came to look for you.”

“Well, I’m okay as you can see, you can go back to whatever you were doing, I’m sure you were busy.”

Jungkook ignored completely the way you implied you had listened the sounds over the phone coming from the girl he was about to screw.

“Are you screwing that guy too?”

You cackled. “Are you fucking serious right now, Jeon?”

Jeon, not Jungkook but Jeon. You were mad. And him, being petty as fuck, instead of letting the water calm, he kept pushing it.

“Is that a yes?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I’m just asking because instead of thanking me for taking care of you, you thanked him while acting like a bitch towards me.”

“Excuse me? Thanking you? I don’t need for you to take care of me, I already told you this before. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” You said angrily.

The audacity of this man. Not even half an hour ago, you heard a girl moaning while you were talking on the phone with him, not only that but he also has his neck full of hickeys that you know they weren’t there last time you saw him, and he has the nerve to ask if you’re screwing Mingyu or not. You couldn’t take anymore the hypocrisy of his words. He was free to do whatever the fuck he wanted but so were you, so why was he interrogating you?

The next few words came out of you with too much anger. “You’re not my boyfriend Jungkook. So, stop acting like you are.”

Okay that sounded so much better in your mind. You didn’t want to sound that rough.

You saw him gasp at your words. He was about to say something but stopped himself, closed his eyes for a second and then looked at you again without any emotion on his face “Yeah, you’re right, I’m not your boyfriend.”

You didn’t mean to hurt him with your words. He was just concerned about you, and you snapped at him. But the fact that he was the one doing a scene after what you heard over the phone, was exasperating you.

You weren’t made of stone and even though you didn’t make any jealousy scene, you did feel a pang in your chest when you heard that girl over the phone. You hated that you were feeling all these kinds of things that you never felt with your other hook-ups.

You hated that this happened two days after you finally decided to open up with him. You didn’t want to, but you felt betrayed. You knew you had no right. But he was pushing your buttons, acting as if he was the one jealous when you did nothing with Mingyu. You were already too mad about what happened with your professor earlier and now this. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ugh, Jungkook… It wasn’t my int-” He cut you off roughly.

“Fuck off, Y/N. I don’t need this kind of bullshit; you are just a good fuck. I shouldn’t be wasting my time with you.”

Eyes widened as you saw him leave, astounded because he never treated you like this before. It crossed your mind for a split second to stop him, but the moans started replaying in your head non-stop as your headache turned finally into a migraine, it was even hard to keep your eyes opened. You just turned around towards your apartment and huffed. “Asshole.”

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⏤ author's note❧ Well, this chapter took longer that I thought! 😅 But as I said before, I want to give you my best, guys. This chapter is by far my favorite one yet of the series, hope that it is for you too 💜. Please, let me know what you think! Don't hesitate on leaving your feedback, reblog, send asks, whatever you'd like. 🥰

⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @ahgasegotarmy116 @whoa-jo @aloverga @coralmusicblaze @ericawantstoescape

228 notes · View notes

doiefics · 10 months

Text

can't we be like the others?

pairing: jungkook x gn!reader

prologue: what was supposed to be mini date turned out to be an argument, but do you and your famous boyfriend even know how to argue in the first place?

genre: angst + established relationship!au + idol boyfriend!jungkook

wordcount: 1,037

warnings: mentions of camsex + crying + possible breakup?

Unlike the hands of the clock that still managed to meet eleven times in twelve hours, you barely met your boyfriend.

When was the last time you saw him in the flesh? Maybe around two months ago, when he stopped by your place for a quarter of an hour.

At this rate one could label it a long-distance relationship if this was how things were going to be even after four years of apparent togetherness.

One thing you realised pretty early on in your relationship was the fact that there was nothing fancy and glam about dating a man this famous.

Dates? That would be counted as a privilege, you could not even let it be know your circle.

The invisible veil somehow always made you feel the distance between the two of you, at times, more than often, he was more of the industry than he was yours.

It was barely the second week into dating when he begged you not to let anyone about this secret love affair because he was scared it would leak out and ruin things for him, he had always been scared.

Video calls were the only means, then, whether it was random calls out of boredom or helping each other with sexual needs.

And phone sex could never be what the touch-to-touch was.

Tonight, you had second thoughts floating over your brain.

Were the time and effort invested worthwhile? Were you a weight for him to carry?

It wasn't like you had no love for Jungkook. You did, and you loved him fervently but love wasn't always shared, sometimes it had to be abandoned.

The dinner table that took you forty minutes to set still found itself in the same condition as before, except for the food that had gone cold.

It was 2:28 am sharp and your boyfriend who promised to reach by 9, was still nowhere to be seen.

The doorbell startled you out of your sleep. Blinking a few times to get used to the brightness, you managed to gather yourself as you made your way to the door.

"I'm sorry." He engulfed you in a hug even before you could properly let him in.

This very feeling of having him with you made you shut your eyes and senses, the only thing that you were focusing on was his presence.

His wood-scented perfume and the cozy fabric of his grey sweatshirt made you melt right on the spot.

"I missed you." Jungkook planted a little peck on your forehead as his starry eyes gleamed into yours.

You nodded and smiled gently.

Similar to how married couples would behave during a disagreement, the supper, although at an ungodly hour, fell hushed.

Jungkook did try to initiate anumber of conversations in the middle, but when he noticed that you mostly just hummed and nodded, he stopped talking.

Perhaps he assumed that you were weary.

Minutes after, you both seated yourselves on the balcony of your apartment.

The sky was full of stars that night, just as your heart was full of uncertainties.

Moonlight was illuminating your boyfriend's face, he placed himself on your lap.

It's better to let emotions out when you can, or else they end up boiling in a vessel and blasting.

"Jungkook," you hesitated.

"Yeah?" He looked up at you with those bambi eyes of his.

"What.. what about us?" You stammered, It took a lot of effort to speak these words at last.

What if something awful happened instead?

"What do you mean baby?" He pouted, playing with your fingers before he ended up intertwining them with his own.

"How long do we have to be like this? Why can't we be just like the others?"

You shook away his hand as you fumed at him, visibly mad at him.

"Are you even trying?" There you said it.

He was quick to get off your lap.

"What on earth makes you think that?" He revolted back. His facial expression was unlike anything you had ever seen, you could tell he was close to tears while still enraged.

"I'm here trying my best to live this life" He reverted, irritated.

The scene changed quickly.

"I can't even recall the last time I could sleep till my content or eat what I wanted to, I can't even breathe without letting people know!"

Jungkook was in a never before seen emotion as he kept on massaging his temples, and all you did on the other hand was sit on the ground as you looked up at his face, tears were now trailing down his cheeks.

"I still fucking love you." He broke down and got on his knees.

His phone started ringing, and you were a hundred per cent sure it was one of his managers. That is how it ended up every time, he would quickly grab his phone and pack his bags before kissing you goodbye.

But this time, he didn't.

"I'm sorry." He pleaded, tear drops falling like rain on the floor.

You stood there the same, reconsidering. Maybe you could never imagine yourself in his shoes, but you were also not unknown to his harsh life and it's requirements.

Without adding a word more, he walked over to you and pulled you into a hug.

The warmth of that physical contact seemed to heighten your feelings, and before you knew it, you were crying as well.

You had lost the track of time by now.

"Jungkook?" You called his name, and that was followed by a hum from his side.

"What about us?" You asked again, but with a different intention, letting out a chuckle.

"Hmmm, marriage, kids, and lots and lots of sex." Jungkook replied as he crunched his nose.

"I hope we have two." He added.

"Both girls," His face lit up with pride.

"What do you think?"

"We have talked about this a thousand times already" You bopped his nose, never getting out of his arms.

"I can't stop thinking about them already. Our kids are gonna be mwah!" He pouted as he bragged about his unborn kids.

"I wish they have your eyes, nose, and lips..." He traced down your facial features with his index finger.

The sun was already coming up and the glory of the dawn brightened your skin to a tint of orange.

"I love you" Jungkook mumbled with a soft breath, caressing the top of your hands.

"I always will."

masterlist please refrain from plagiarising, translating or posting outside of this platform

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 6 months

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Holiday - BTS OT7 CEO AU Bonus Chapter 14.5

Sorry for being MIA my loves, life for the moment has calmed slightly, who knows what it has in store tomorow. Just a note, I'm no longer doing taglists as theyre too hard to keep up with and I am trying to avoid stress. Sorry about that I hope this goofy chapter makes up for it <3

4.6K words of the italy trip with the troublesome trio. Warnings: Smut, jealousy, sex implied as a weapon (for revenge), edging, possesive behavior, orgasm denial, money (yes this is a warning it made me swoon)

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THURSDAY

Seven hours into the flight was when what you dreaded happened. The private jet had wifi, and a part of you thought you were going to be safe from the older CEOs if they couldn’t reach you with your mobile on airplane mode, but when it rings thousands of miles in the air, your heart drops. The maknaes eyes all dart to the ringing device in your hand, as you contemplate answering it, but before you can make a decision, it's snatched from your hold.

“Good evening Hyung,” Taehyung answers smugly. You try reaching for it but he keeps it out of reach.

“Put it on speaker,” Jimin whispers, pressing his ear to the otherside of the phone while Jungkook holds you back from fighting them for it.

You don’t know what’s said on the other line but Taehyung’s eyes pierce through you, an almost villainous look on his face.

“We came to flower’s favourite place,” the smirk on his face is dangerous and you knew he wasn’t thinking clearly about the repercussions by taunting them.

“Tae,” you say warningly, holding your hand out for the phone, not that you would fare better with talking to them.

“We’d be waiting for you for a while Hyung,” he snickers cruelly, not a side of him you saw very often at all, but when there was a vendetta or score involved, it didn’t matter who it was up against, Taehyung would betray his own flesh and blood for revenge.

Okay, maybe that was a little far-fetched even in your own mind, but you remember the company sports day, the first and last, where your seemingly innocent boyfriend betrayed Jimin, his closest bestest friend/soulmate, to win, and no one saw it coming. There was a major fall out before everyone started betraying each other in the subsequent races and Namjoon decided that never again would the company have another competing event. The moral of the story? Never underestimate Kim Taehyung.

“We’ve decided to go on an impromptu holiday for the weekend.”

The grin on his face at whatever is said on the other line is nothing short of evil. He was going to get you killed with this, now you understood why the idiom was about being thrown under the bus, this felt like a damn car crash and you hadn’t even arrived at your destination. Maybe when you landed you could just fly back and apologise.

“Have a good weekend Hyung.”

He ends the call and passes you back your phone as if he hadn’t just declared world war three! Jungkook finally lets you go and stretches in the aisle, laughing with the other two while you bite your bottom lip nervously. They wouldn’t blame you if you said the maknaes had kidnapped you, would they?

Your phone rings in your hand again, this time with Yoongi’s caller ID, you quickly answer it before they notice, not even able to say hello before an angry voice greets you.

“Y/n where the fuck have they taken you?” Yoongi growls through the line.

“We’ve… I’ve,” you swallow down your nerves, “Italy…?”

You say it like a question that answers everything, but you really didn’t know how else to respond.

"Kitten, you just agreed to these brats? You didn't think to tell us first?"

“Yoongi,” you whine, “please don’t be mad, it’s just… they just-”

Your phone flies out of your hand, you were too focused on the call to notice the troublesome trio caught on.

“What-” you gasp, not realising straight away what had happened. “Jungkook! That’s my phone, give it back!”

But he doesn’t, even as you fight him for it. Instead he looks at you like he’s berating you for ruining their masterplans, holding it way above your head as you jump for it, trying to pull his arm down.

“I think we should hold onto this for a little while, bunny,” he says sternly, “you obviously can’t be trusted.”

“Jeon Jungkook give me back my phone,” you scowl.

“Nope,” his lips pop.

“Angel, the whole point in this revenge plot is to deny the Hyungs access to you, we can’t have you calling them, it defeats the point,” Jimin lectures you as if you were dense which only makes you scowl more.

“Oh they’ll have access,” Taehyung smirks, the evil glint in his eyes still present and unsatiated. “But only when we want them to.”

FRIDAY

Arriving at the apartment yesterday (if you could call it that it was more like a villa), quelled your worry over the others, it was too beautiful to think of anything else. When Taehyung told you they bought it, it took a while for your jaw to come off the ground. How they had done it in such a short amount of time you would never know, but the happy way they showed you around, holding you, soft kisses as you smiled, made you completely forget about the purpose of this visit, until of course they woke you up before the sunrise with needy kisses.

“It’s too early,” you whine incoherently, but somehow they understood you.

“Blame Mr mastermind,” Jimin yawns, although the way Jungkook’s undressing you has his bottom half stirring the rest of him awake.

“It has to be now if we want our gift to arrive on time,” Taehyung chuckles deeply, something akin to what you imagine a classic maniacal tv villain to sound like.

“Oh yes,” you scoff, “I forgot I’m just a means for revenge.” You always got caught in the middle of their rivalry, you just didn’t expect it to sting so much this time around, like you were being used. You try to go back to sleep, having had enough of this ridiculous childish behaviour, but Taehyung pulls you up by your arm until you're sitting upright in front of him.

“Our love for you flower,” he mumbles, pushing your hair out of your face, searching your face earnestly, reading your insecurities like a book, “and our punishment for the hyungs are two very separate matters…”

Something ice cool touches your neck, making you shiver violently in your sleepy state.

Jungkook’s arms wrap around you from behind, trying to keep your nearly naked form warm, while Taehyung’s fingers on your nape clasp what you realise now is a choker.

“This holiday is just one stone to deal with them both,” his fingers tilt up your chin so he can show Jimin the sparkle of a hundred diamonds adorning your neck.

“Perfect,” the eldest of the trio hums in approval before mumbling, “as they say, revenge is best served cold.”

He smirks, eyes darting down your body as Jungkook starts kissing your neck, both the chill of the piece and the warmth of your skin touching his lips.

“The recording…” It’s hard to concentrate on Taehyung’s words when the maknae’s fingers dance around your waist, his arms holding you tighter against him. He’s already hard and it’s all your body wants to focus on, but Tae distracts you when you notice the phone in his hand.

“...is for them,” there’s glint of mischief in his eyes, a devilish smirk, “this,” his fingers trace the line of priceless jewels embellishing his beautiful flower, “is for us.”

—

You can see why they say revenge is an act of passion as your fingertips grip the bed sheets for dear life, open mouth moaning into the mattress beneath you. Your body’s splayed out for his pleasure, his thrusts unrelenting.

“I can see why Namjoon Hyung favours this position,” Jungkook moans out, palm on your back holding you down. “Fuck Baby girl your squeezing me so tight.”

There’s a sadistic chuckle from his lips as he watches his dick slide in and out. He pushes back in deeper, harder, pressing his chest to your back, the angle hitting new spots that made you want to scream.

“You’re wetting my dick so well,” he murmurs into your ear seductively, just for you to hear, covering you with his whole body, wanting to feel you everywhere. He can feel you breathing hard with the way he smothers you,

Your hand clamps over your mouth, earning a displeased grunt from Jungkook before he bites down on your shoulder in warning.

“Kitten don’t cover your mouth,” Jimin taunts, forcing your hand away with his grip tight around your wrist, watching you bite your lips so hard they might bleed. “Let the Hyungs hear you.”

“She really does look like a kitten with that choker,” Taehyung’s signature deep lilt rumbles, his voice full of amusement. His thumb pulls your bottom lip until it's released from your teeth, little gasps escaping as you try to keep quiet knowing they were recording you. Even if the thought turned you on so much you were extra sensitive to their touch, you wanted them to hear you, wanted to moan their names too but that would be too cruel wouldn’t it? And Taehyung wouldn’t be too pleased with that either.

“Come on beautiful girl let them hear you,” Jungkook orders gutturally, leaning back before his palm spanks your ass hard before returning to your hip, the slap heard sharp through the air followed by your delicious whines. His grip is bruising as he picks up the pace, wanting to elicit more out of you. The harder he fucks you the more his Hyung’s will hear, the thought makes his dumb fucked out grin wider.

“Don’t call her you know what,” Jimin laughs, the punishment of this was enough for Hobi he was sure, but he couldn’t feel entirely sorry for him when he was one of the perpetrators that locked him out. “Hoseok Hyungs scary when he’s pissed.”

“He didn’t call her a good girl so he’s exempt,” Taehyung mumbles, almost losing himself to the show you and Jungkook were performing, his heel pressing against his aching length so hard he bites back a groan. Jimin was faring no better, hands in his pants, eyes drunk on how Junkook played with you like his own fuckdoll, you could do nothing but lie there and take it.

“Ah Kookie right there,” you almost scream, the head of Jungkook’s cock was stroking your G-spot making your toes curl, your mouth hanging open, saliva dripping down your lips. “O-oh fuck!”

Your clit was begging to be touched to push you over, but your limbs were too busy keeping you somewhat steady so you didn’t go crashing into the headboard or falling off the bed. You doubt Jungkook would stop even if you did.

“Baby girl if you want to cum…” Taehyung says with a sinister smug smirk, as if he could hear your thoughts, “... call Jungkook daddy.”

You whimper in protest, shaking your head vehemently, not wanting to. It was a step too far, you eyed the device in front of you recording away, as if Namjoon was right there listening now. You wouldn’t do that to him, even if your being was screaming at you to do as Tae said just to taste a fucking orgasm.

“Tsk, bad flower,” Taehyung grumbles, looking annoyed that you wouldn’t behave for his masterplan. “Hyung deserves to be punished.”

He smooths the hair away from your face, leaning down close to you as Jungkook eased his pounding a smidge, edging both of you. It was so close.

“Be a good girl hmmm,” Tae grunts in your ear, trying to be persuasive, using that name against you, “call Jungkook daddy.”

You shake your head again in refusal at his command, you wouldn’t. The hand in your hair slides down your neck, a finger hooking on the back of your choker, tugging hard, a warning to behave. The pressure on your neck made you go dizzy, the rim of gems almost cutting, eyes rolling back as you let out a guttural moan. You meet his now dark gaze, a shiver down your spine has you seconds away cumming, but it seemed the punishment to the older CEOs now extended to you.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung sighs in disappointment and the cock that was pounding into you now disappears with a groan. You feel your walls pulsate against nothing, the emptiness almost painful, but all Taehyung does is kiss your tears as they slip down, letting go of you so your head hits the mattress again, and stopping the recording as he throws the phone aside. He could always edit the audio anyway.

You feel a wetness on your back, the sounds of the maknae fisting his cock until his load shoots all over you.

“Should we send a picture with the recording?” He smirks looking down at you knowing how much his favourite hyungs would appreciate such a beautiful view. Jungkook turns you on your back, peering down at you with love in his eyes but a smile so devilish. “What do you think bunny?”

You don’t even know what he’s on about, words unable to enter your ears with the way they were pounding, your clit throbbing with the need to be touched, your pussy weeping.

“Wanna cum,” you whine, thighs rubbing together searching for some sort of friction.

“Aww Angel wants to cum?” Jimin coos as you squirm before he snickers, glancing at Taehyung’s stone face knowing you weren't going to get there for a while regardless of how much you’d beg and plead. There was a reason Taehyung’s previous partners would call him a tiger in bed, the man could flip a switch in a second, his duality constantly pulling and pushing his partners to and from the edge. Right now, the oldest maknae could see the displeasure of your disobedience in his eyes, the air around him turning dangerous. It was going to be a long day.

—

“I’m surprised you can stand,” Jimin’s teasing voice pulls you out of your reverie. How long were you staring at this painting for? You lost yourself to it.

“No thanks to you,” you mutter, eyes still on the soft brushstrokes on the canvas in front of you. At least they let you sleep before your sight seeing, the Europeans had it right, naps in the afternoon should be the law.

“You’ve been staring at this one for an hour,” Jimin exaggerates with a pout, trying to figure out what was holding your attention. “And Taehyung’s been staring at you.”

At this you turn around to find indeed your devious mastermind boyfriend staring a hole into your back, normally you’d feel his eyes on you but not today. He didn’t like that, he just kept his gaze on you intensely, trying to telepathically get you to notice him but it didn’t work.

“Who could blame him?” Jimin smirks suggestively, “all these famous paintings and they don’t hold a candle to my angel.”

You roll your eyes, walking away from him and the disgusting amount of cheese he was spewing, trying to locate the last of the troublesome trio. You find Jungkook also enjoying the actual art in the gallery, you were honestly surprised Tae wasn’t with him, this was typically his scene.

“Kookie, do you like this one?” you ask him, taking his hand in yours as you walked past a statue he spent a few more seconds on than the others.

“Mmmm,” he hums absentmindedly, “the detail’s amazing.”

He sighs in wonder, round eyes admiring the next one in line.

“I need to know how they made it.”

“You want to make one too?” you jest, smiling at him endearingly as he continued to stare.

“I want to make one of you,” he confesses so easily, making your organs somersault. You try not to let your jaw drop.

“You’re ridiculous,” you breathe, laughing as you pull him away from the exhibit.

You head back towards the paintings, only to find Taehyung staring intently at your favourite one as if he was ready to start a war with it. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise you if he did considering his current regime for vengeance. You frown when someone in a business suit greets him with a handshake, wondering how the two knew each other. The conversation, whatever it was about, looks deep, and your curiosity wants you to eavesdrop.

“Angel lets go to the gift shop,” Jimin grabs your other hand, steering you away before you walk over to Taehyung.

“Who’s Tae talking to?” You ask, trying to catch a glimpse of the pair as Jimin pulls you and Jungkook in tow.

“Just business,” he replies, not really answering the question at all.

—

Taehyung’s heart is in his throat when they deliver it. It’s the evening, he was hoping you wouldn't be back until after the delivery, but you were so worried about his despondency, especially when he left the three of you and came back to the apartment alone. You had to force Jimin and Jungkook to end the dinner plans early, opting for take out instead. They had to listen to you when you threatened to find Taehyung without them.

“What… what is this?” You gasp, jaw on the floor as they uncover it. No fucking way, nope, no, he didn’t…… for fuck sake he did, you stare incredulously at him, knowing exactly who was behind the purchase. “Kim Taehyung you did not.”

He swears he could see the steam leave your ears and flared nostrils. Even the men from the gallery glanced at you both in worry, contemplating waiting to see if you were going to murder him before they made their leave.

“Flower-”

“Return it.” There was no room for argument in your tone, but argue with you he would.

“Flower,” he says again patiently, “I wanted it for you.”

Jimin and Jungkook were hiding in the other room praying for Taehyung’s survival, while simultaneously hiding from you. They warned Taehyung about the consequences, you had already made explicit rules about stuff like this, and you never took it well when they broke them.

“Taehyung, I don't even want to think about how much it cost, or it's going to make me sick,” you say, actually feeling nauseous and slightly dizzy. This was overwhelming, he was overwhelming.

He sighs before approaching you, fingers stroking your sides to try and calm you, but your arms are crossed in front of you like a barricade.

“The cost doesn’t matter,” he says, pressing a finger to your lips before you can fight with him, his forehead leaning on yours, eyes beseeching you. “I want to spoil you, why won’t you let me?”

You exhale exasperated.

“It’s too much,” your jaw ticks, he wasn’t going to win this one. “It’s ridiculously too much!”

“Says who?” he asks you, smiling softly despite your anger. He caresses your face with both hands, holding you so delicately as if you were the million-billion euro-pound-won painting. You couldn’t think of the cost, you just couldn't, you would implode.

“Tae-”

“I love you, I wanted to buy it for you,” a gentle kiss to your nose has your defences shaking, doubled with the gentle lilt in his voice. “My perfect flower deserves the world, why can’t I buy her a part of it, hmmm?”

“You just can’t,” but your own voice starts to match his in volume, and he has to stop himself from grinning in premature victory.

“But I want to,” the softest kiss to your lips before he pulls away. “You deserve more, why won’t you let us spoil you?”

“Tae,” you sigh, eyes starting to water, it was too much, your heart was so full you could feel it in your chest. You couldn’t accept this, he bought you the painting you were staring at for fuck sake, it was beyond ridiculous, he shouldn’t have.

“I am grateful for the sentiment, but you have to return it,” you say as he shakes his head in refusal, “please.”

“No,” he replies simply, you weren’t going to win this one. “I know you love it, and I want you to have it, that’s it.”

You sniffle, tears starting to drop which he wipes away.

“But it's too much,” you wail, making him want to laugh at how precious you look.

“You said that already,” he pulls you into his embrace, your arms uncrossing to wrap around him.

“B-but youdun e-even k-now why I like it-” he can barely understand with you gasping for breath between words as you sobbed.

He should feel bad for making you cry but you were so adorable he couldn’t help laughing a little. He kisses the side of your head, smiling as you mumble against him, trying to fight but you already lost.

SATURDAY

“Why did you bring your laptop on holiday!” Jimin groans as he walks into the bedroom to find you sitting crossed legged on the bed, furiously typing away.

“I just have one more thing to finish…” you mumble without glancing at him.

“Bunny you seriously have issues,” Jungkook mutters, Jimin turning in surprise to see him on the armchair, chin in his hand, elbow on the arm rest, staring at you as if you were some weird enigma.

“We brought you to your favourite place on Earth,” Jimin exclaims dramatically, trying to close the laptop but you take it away from his reach. “And you’re working?”

“Two seconds, just two more.”

Jimin sighs, fingers raking through his hair as he stands with his hands on his hips ready to berate you before he realises someone was missing.

“Where’s Taehyung?”

The maknae shrugs, but this question makes you look up from the screen like a meerkat.

“Huh?” You look at the end of the bed, as if you’re expecting him to be there. “He was just there…”

You shrug to yourself, sure he was somewhere having fun, turning back to the laptop with intent while Jimin looks at you incredulously. Fine he’ll give you your two seconds but he isn’t happy about it. He starts pacing in front of you, arms crossed and huffing, but it does nothing to deter your work or gain him any attention.

It’s when his legs start aching that he’s decided you’ve had long enough.

“Angel put it away before I throw it out the window,” he warned, but you completely ignore him as if he didn’t say a word. Is this how flies felt when they buzzed incessantly around the room screaming for attention… did he really compare himself to a fly… he couldn’t help making the comparison, you were the one to make him feel so insignificant and he flew you to Italy for pete's sake. He marches towards you, not really wanting to resort to violence but you weren’t budging. “Fine, have it your way.”

“You guys took my phone, don’t touch my laptop,” you warn when he takes another step closer.

“You were gonna call them!”

“And you’ve had your fun and gotten your revenge, let me just finish this.”

“You said two seconds, IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS,” he yells, exasperated.

“It’s been twenty minutes,” you scoff as if that was any better.

“Are they working you too hard?” Jungkook interrupts asking you bluntly, having watched your session since near the start, he thinks he's deciphered the reason behind it.

You hesitate, swallowing around nothing. Why did that question make you nervous?

“Nothing I’m not used to,” you reply, it’s not like working with them was any easier.

“So yes they are,” Jimin confirms. “Yesterday you were enjoying this impromptu holiday, today you look like you’re going to fight us if we try and take you outside.”

“We will take you outside eventually, bunny,” Jungkook adds, “kicking and screaming if we have to.”

“What changed angel?” Jimin narrows his eyes.

You try and avoid their gazes, confession on the tip of your tongue at their interrogation but their judgement holds you back,

“Spill angel,” Jimin stands with his arms crossed, voice firm.

You groan, falling head first into the duvet as if you could bury your response there forever.

“It’s stupid,” you mumble against the fabric.

“What did she say?”

“Fuck knows,” Jungkook frowns.

You sigh, picking yourself up in defeat.

“I had a nightmare last night,” you mutter, making things no clearer for the two as they look at each other in question. “About work…”

There’s a beat of silence as your confession sinks in.

“Taehyung's right…” Jimin says as if he’s come to an epiphany, “you really are a good girl.”

You feel your cheeks burn, trying not to let your jaw fall slack as the oldest maknae grins, laughing at you softly.

“It’s not funny,” you say to the pair as the youngest also decides to cackle too. “They found out I skipped work and then started yelling at me and it scared the shit out of me okay.”

But your words only make them laugh harder, Jimin characteristically falling to the floor as he holds his stomach. You roll your eyes, trust them to understand.

“I’m gonna go find Tae,” you mumble, slamming your laptop shut and exiting the room while they try and fail to control themselves.

“Wait, we're coming with you,” Jimin calls after you, still laughing loudly, the corners of his mouth almost touching his ears.

Maybe they were right, maybe you did need to enjoy yourself while you could, who knew what work had in store for you when you went back. There was nothing you could do about that, but there was something you could do now.

You find your target looking at the painting he bought from the gallery yesterday, the one you still couldn’t believe was hanging on the wall of your holiday home. If Taehyung didn’t have the money to buy it you’re sure he would’ve stolen it for you instead. For some reason you could picture him being an art thief in another life.

He was staring so intently, it was as if the roles had reversed from yesterday, his eyes darting around each pigment on the canvas trying to decipher it. The way you had paid it attention almost made him jealous, so of course he had to buy it for you, at least to try and figure out why you loved it at first sight.

“Hey tiger,” you greet him gleefully, and he’s more than happy to look at you instead. He grins when you wink at him flirtily like Jin does to you from time to time, but you do it more dramatically, eyebrows dancing as you approach him.

“Tiger?” he chuckles, that one was new from you, but he didn’t mind it even if it was tainted from lovers past.

You grab his arm with both hands, tugging him gently towards you, a silent plea to follow you, and he would, absolutely anywhere if you asked. The other two aren’t far behind, but your focus is solely on him, and he can’t help but burst with pride, his chest inflating like a superhero film cliche. You looked at him with far more love than that stupid painting, he didn’t feel as much envy towards it as before.

“I wanna take you somewhere special,” you whisper to him, eyes imploring up at him, how could he ever refuse. “It’s my favourite cafe, but don’t tell the others, shh.”

You playfully press your finger to your lips, as if sharing a secret with him. He bites his bottom lip hard to stop from laughing out loud but his boxy grin is stretched wide across his face.

“What about us?” Jimin whines as you purposefully ignore him, Jungkook’s jaw ticking with jealousy when you pull Taehyung with you.

“You laughed at me, I’m not taking you anywhere,” you reply childishly, sticking your tongue out at him with your nose in the air as they continue to bicker with you.

This really was your favourite place on Earth.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

#bts series #bts au #bts au fanfic #bts ceo!au #bts ceo au #bts ot7 x reader #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts smut #taehyung au #taehyung x reader #jimin fic #jimin x you #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts ot7 au

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blue-and-grey-army · 1 year

Text

- - C A R A M E L - - 1

1. Melting

Genre: BTS, Idol AU, poly au, BTS x reader, OT7, OT7 x reader, Idol BTS, Dom BTS, sub reader, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Warnings: BTS x reader, very subby reader,innocent reader, power play, eventual smut, sexual and non sexual domination, a lot of skinship (but like lots) excessive pet names, sexism, anxiety, insecurities, possessive behavior, maybe BTS x BTS etc..

…

“So you are telling me that, somehow, BTS members now want me to be their exclusive coffee maker?”

You were looking at your manager as if he had just told you a volcano had just appeared in the middle of Gagnam. It was impossible. You had only seen some of the members once, and you managed to act like an idiot during the few minutes they were in your presence. You had only prepared the extremely strong iced americano Yoongi had asked. There was no way he had liked that coffee enough to ask for such a crazy thing. Or…or maybe they were doing it knowing you would make a mistake, so they could fire you. Maybe they had hated you so much they couldn’t stand seeing you in the café so they wanted an easy and quick way to get rid of you…

“You should see it as more of a kind of assistant…not that they need it” your manager just shrugged as he was taking your name out of all the shifts he had pre planned for the month. “Now I have to reorganize all of this…but that is none of your concern. You should go see them so they can explain your new duties more thoroughly”

“But…”

“No buts! Many, including myself, would kill for this opportunity that somehow feel upon such a scrawny girl. So come on, move your butt” you wanted to keep fighting, but the look your manager, or…ex-manager, sent your way stopped you. You were absolutely terrified and he seemed to notice, because his eyes softened for a second and he tapped lightly his writing board on your head. “Don’t make them wait, twentieth floor, and turn right”

You nodded once and made a deep bow to him, thanking him for the couple weeks you have been working under his direction. You could feel your hands shake while you walked towards the elevator and dialed the number. Your breathing was troubled while your mind started filling with all the terrible scenarios. You couldn’t afford to loose this job! Your parents had left you on your own because of your inability to take care of yourself and now you were alone…It was not your fault! You did your best to comply with all your basic necessities, but they would just slip out of your mind with all the things that were actually inside of it.

Eating, sleeping, exercising…they just seemed secondary with your many worries and anxieties! So it was easy to rely on your parents. It’s not like you asked them to cook or clean your messes for you, but you started relying a bit too much on their constant reminders or orders. It just made life easier for you, to have those easy commands to follow so you hadn’t to occupy your mind with them and get easily overwhelmed. Ever since you were a child, you tended to give up control when it came to those kind of things. You were more of a follower, enjoying simple tasks and clear instructions.

But seems like they couldn’t stand it, so they just kicked you out of the house, telling you to find a job and start taking care of yourself.

And you had been doing it just fine! You had already found this job when they kicked you out, so you had a bit of savings. Enough to pay for the deposit and first month of a nice apartment not too far from the café, and with a few small design commissions you had been doing, you had enough for groceries and basic services. Yeah, you were missing a few of your meals here and there, but it was no big deal. You were handling just fine.

But you didn’t know what you were going to do if you lost this job.

Before you could realize, the elevator had arrived to its destination. Every second that went by it was harder to breathe, so you were looking at the ground and holding your chest when the doors opened. You walked out with a cold sweat breaking down your neck and you leaned against the wall of the corridor, trying to calm yourself down for a couple minutes. If they saw you like this on your first appearance, they were surely firing you.

Breathe Y/N…come on, get yourself together.

You can’t mess this up.

You can’t-

“There you are!! We were wondering if you had gotten lost…” A voice interrupted your internet conversation, and you opened your eyes surprised, lifting your head.

In front of you, there was Kim Taehyung. T h e Kim Taehyung, smiling sweetly at you. You eyes widened, looking like a deer in headlights. He thought you were adorable, with some hair strands around your cheeks and your cute freckled nose. As soon as you made eye contact, you lowered your gaze and started to bow.

“I’m so so sorry for making you wait, I-I was just…”you tried to explain yourself, but your tongue seemed to be against you.

“Nothing to apologize for!”He smiled openly and took your hand as if you had know each other forever, and started walking, guiding you “Come, we are all waiting for you. Namjoon and Hoseok hyung are excited to meet you” he started rambling about his hyungs and his day, and you just noticed the way his hand was clinging to yours and somehow that had helped you to ground yourself. Like an anchor.

But your calm stated only lasted so long. He dragged you around a few corridors until he just opened a big door and you encountered yourself being watched by six pairs of eyes. All looking at you. Unconsciously, you let go of Taehyung had and started clenching your fists, digging your nails into your skin, trying to stop the trembling. You lowered your gaze immediately, as you felt your skin growing hot from the embarrassment.

They were all so handsome.

You felt so intimidated with all those incredibly beautiful man staring at you with such intensity. Even with your eyes lowered, you could feel their gazes piercing at you. Maybe there was something on your face…or your clothes! You had been working on the café before receiving the news, perhaps you had stained yourself and they thinking about how dirty you looked! Oh my god, why didn’t you go to the bathroom and cleaned yourself if you knew you were meeting them? You are such a fool!! And your hair was a mess! You hadn’t slept well last night, so you also probably had dark circles under your eyes. You couldn’t even take proper care of yourself the day you were meeting such an important people…

“Hmm, you boys were actually right about her…such a pretty thing”

Your head raised so quickly the boys thought you probably pulled a muscle, but they could only focus on your big eyes looking at them as if they had said the most foolish thing in the world. Namjoon, who had spoken, had a smirk on his face when he realized he had caught your attention.

“What?…” the words slipped out of your mouth without a second thought, and you immediately regretted it, because you lowered your head back again and bit your lip.

“Oh! She speaks! I was starting to worry Taehyung had broken her on his way here, but seems like she was just shy, right?” Hoseok smiled kindly, trying to get your eyes on his direction, but it didn’t work, since you were focused on your shoes, trying to avoid their heavy stares.

“I-I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have spoken out of turn…It won’t happen again” Your parents had taught you not to speak if you weren’t spoken! Even more when it came to people with a bigger status. Couldn’t you do anything right today?

You could already feel your head spiraling into anxiety.

“Why don’t you look at us when we speak, and then you’ll be able to tell if you should talk or not?” Yoongi’s voice filled the air and you clench your fists tighter. You want to listen, you really do want to raise your eyes, even more at his tone, that almost made you melt at such a clean and soft order. It was perfect…

But you didn’t. What if it was a trap? You had already messed up enough for a day. One more could be the perfect excuse to fire you! They even had the power to make sure you never found a job in all the time that was left of your life. What were you gonna do then? You couldn’t go back to your parents house! And you didn’t have enough money to take a flight overseas and try to find a job there. But even if you did, they had enough influence to reach any corner in the world! There was no way to scape and…

A hand entangled itself on the hair of your nape and pulled firmly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to ground you. To steady you. And to make sure you raised your head and met the dragon eyes that were firmly staring at you.

“I like when people look at me if I talk to them” A chill went down your spine. Your hands relaxed immediately, freeing your skin from your nails. All your muscles relaxed at the same time and you were able to maintain his gaze, with a soft blush on your cheeks. You felt so…nice. “Do you think you can do that, or do I have to keep you in this position until you are able to, doll?”

You nod softly. What does this man have, that makes you wanna listen to him? You want to do everything he says, for him to be proud of you. You wanted to show him you could listen, and be good. His words are just so…clear, so easy to listen to, so warm and easy to follow.

You feel like melted caramel.

Flowy and warm.

“Hyung asked you something. Answer him” Jungkook speaks, but you don’t break eye contact with Namjoon. Even less when you feel his hand tighten on your scalp and your thighs give the smallest of clenches.

“Y-yes, I can…”

Your mother did always say you gave control out to others too easily, didn’t she?

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euphoricfilter · 1 year

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Stardust || JJK ~ Teaser

Pairing: Jungkook x F. Reader

Genre: Fluff || Smut || Friends to Lovers au

Summary: If Jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.

Word count: ???

Tags/ warnings: jungkook’s a bit of a himbo, they both lack awareness apparently, fluff, smut in the forms of: unintentional masturbation turned coregasm, oral (f. receiving), protected sex (because that’s really cool), mirror sex, doggy style, technically multiple orgasms, they’re both giggly and in love it’s kinda gross, jk is a tits man, i think that’s all

✯ ✯ ✯

Jungkook doesn’t remember life before you. Though he thinks it must have been dull, flimsy smiles, and friends that hadn’t bothered to call once they moved away. His existence so easily forgotten, that the gnawing sadness didn’t seem to last as long as he’d anticipated.

He’d thought about what life would be like if one day the two of you were to ever part ways, the very thought of you not being by his side like a harsh punch the gut. And maybe he had gotten a little teary eyed on those evenings he felt a little softer, a little sadder at the thought of you ever leaving.

Though he doubts that day will ever come. And maybe that’s all just wishful thinking, a juvenile dream that the promise you’d made to one another would hold strong for the rest of time, until the two of you lay six feet under. Resting side by side until your bodies rot, flesh becoming one with the earth, what is left of your existence blossoming into something beautiful; perhaps a tree, a flower, truly anything, as long as you were together.

“Together?” you blink up at Jungkook through your lashes, eyebrows creasing in distaste; head haloed by the setting sun.

“Yes” he nods, hair flopping a little over his forehead, and you push the stray strands out of his eyes.

“Kook, I love you— you know I do” and he nods, “But working out just, isn’t for me” you conclude and his shoulders deflate.

“First off, I love you too—“

“Thank you” you nod.

“And look, how do you know it’s not for you, if you’ve never tried”

“You put me off” and Jungkook would have thought you were joking if you didn’t have that deadpan look on your face.

“Huh” he gawks, “How?”

“You always complain about sore muscles, and the thought of being sweaty” your head tips forward dramatically, cushioned by your arms from the table.

“It’s a good ache”

“There is no such thing as a good ache”

“Sex ache”

You pause, “Excuse me?”

“You know?” he cocks his head to the side.

“No”

Jungkook’s mouth falls open, “You’re a little pillow princess aren’t you, I bet you don’t do any of the work”

“Do too, besides—“ you swallow, “It’s none of your business” you pull your hands free of his grasp.

“Come on, I feel like we’re at a point in this relationship we can share these things” his cheek rests atop of your head, each syllable pulled out into a whine.

“I don’t wanna hear about your sex life, Jungkook”

“Actually, I don’t really wanna hear about yours either” his nose scrunches up, melting your resolve.

Release Date: Tuesday 10th January @ 11pm China Standard Time

stardust can be read here

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shyminmin · 8 months

Text

༄BTS X f.Reader | Ongoing (Very slow updates) | ༄Fantasy, Mermaid AU

"Let the waters guide you... just as Selene guides them..."

"You've been away long enough... It's time to come home.."

All Y/n wanted out of her dull, mundane life was to find out the truth about herself. Will she succeed in her endeavours or end up diving into something way deeper than anticipated? Only time will tell and perhaps from the reluctant help of a certain scaled individual.

*Forewarning, the appearance of BTS in the story will not occur immediately. Certain aspects of the plot need to be established and built up before the boys can appear. Expect one or multiple interactions with them in later chapters. Sorry and thank you for your patience.

⋆ 𝐓𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐲 ༄⋆

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟗 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟎 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐

Total Word Count: 48.4 k

⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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mykoreanlove · 20 days

Text

from one leader to another

some skz x bts siblings x flirty fluff - @kayleefriedchicken hope u like it :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You roamed the city aimlessly, desperately trying to find the perfect present for your younger brother’s birthday.

„Fuck, fuck, fuck“, you muttered under your breath as you noticed the time.

One hour left.

You had exactly one hour to find the right gift or else everybody at his party would judge you as the worst sister of the century. You didn’t forget about his present, in fact you put a lot of thought into it but what do you get someone that already has everything? Why was this so hard for you?

Your inner pity monologue got interrupted as your phone rang.

„Channie“, you greeted him, hoping he wouldn’t notice your dismay.

„You sound stressed. You good?“

Damn it. His little brother senses always tingled when you were in a crappy mood.

„Promise you won’t hate me?“

His laughter filled the line.

„What’s wrong?“

„I’m going crazy because of your stupid birthday present!“, you whined in annoyance.

„Y/N, my birthday party starts in an hour and you still have no present? Damn, do you hate me?“, he chuckled amused.

„Stop making fun of me and help me instead?“

„Help you how?“

„Oh, I don’t know - maybe actually tell me what you want?“

Chan laughed again.

„I did tell you!“

You sighed in exasperation.

„The fuck you did! Every time I ask you what I can get you, you tell me shit like „I just want you to be healthy and happy. Oh, and find a boyfriend already and get married and have kids, so mom won’t pester me about it“. Not helpful, Chan!“, you mocked him.

He burst out laughing, which pissed you off even more.

„I’m sure you’ll figure it out, y/nnie. I’m going to hang up, the boys are already here. See you in an hour.“

You angrily massaged your temples, not knowing what to do. Minutes after you hung up, Chan sent you a text - a picture of him with various presents from his friends, smiling giddily into the camera.

„That little shit“, you muttered under your breath.

Just you wait - I’ll figure this out!

You had to be strategic about it - most of the shops were about to close anyway, so which one would you go to?

The ones with clothing? You shook your head as you recalled how much clothes he already had not only at his place but also yours.

The ones with books? Nah, that boy rarely reads, you argued with yourself.

Come on, think y/n. You can do this.

„Oh“, you jumped excitedly, as you had finally figured it out.

You walked straight to the biggest fragrance shop you could find, wandering in front of the men’s aisle.

„Whoa, those are a lot“, you noticed.

The shelves were filled with various flacons - colorful or bland, minimalistic or eccentric, cheap or ridiculously expensive.

„Fuck, how am I supposed to find the right one before the shop closes?“

As your eyes scanned the shelves you noticed two teenage girls next to you, giggling and whispering about some guy close to you.

„He is so hot, oh my god“, one of them whispered.

„I know and he smells soooo good“, the other one agreed.

You cautiously turned your head, curious about the guy they were talking about.

„Damn“, you whispered under your breath.

He was good looking! He was tall and built like a greek god, muscular yet lean. His dark long hair suited his handsome face perfectly, adding to his chic yet urban style. You didn’t notice yourself wander closer to him, as you were too engulfed analyzing his features. You chuckled as you noticed his hair fall into his brown eyes, he clumsily pushed the strands away from his face but they fell back every time. He had a sharp gaze, observing the perfumes in front of him with precision.

„I bet he’s hella smarted“, you mumbled silently.

Finally, you were standing right next to him. You closed your eyes, as you took him all in, his presence was mesmerizing. Shit, those girls were right. He smells amazing, you thought to yourself, lost in your mind altogether.

The stranger turned around with wide eyes, asking you bluntly: „Did you just smell me?“

You opened your eyes abruptly, embarrassed to the core.

„I, uh, ha, yeah, so, funny story“, you rambled shyly.

He crossed his arms in front of his broad chest and faced you, a sly smile on his lips.

„I’m listening.“

You cursed yourself internally but decided to spill the truth.

„You see I am here because I need a gift. Not any gift but THE gift. And I was standing over there overlooking all these perfumes as I heard some teenagers giggle and gush about you.“

He averted his gaze to the right and looked at the two girls behind you who turned around abruptly, hiding their faces.

„Go on“, he mumbled as he looked at you again. „So, yeah, they were saying how good you smelled and since I need that perfect gift I thought I would find out for myself.“

He leaned his head to the side as he was listening to you ramble.

„And you thought smelling me, a mere stranger, was the best way to go about it?“

„In hindsight? No. But I am desperate, so cut me some slack. Please.“

He let out a deep sigh and uncrossed his arms, picking up the perfume he was wearing and handing it over to you.

„That’s the one“, he pointed out.

You observed the package, it looked hella expensive but it did smell divine.

„Thank you“, you whispered.

„Do you need it for your boyfriend?“

You laughed out loud, not realizing that he was serious about it.

„No. I don’t have a boyfriend. This one is for my brother.“

„Ah“, he nodded.

Now, that the shock was gone, you noticed the stranger’s voice - deep and raspy, a melodic sound you would have loved to listen to for longer. Sadness formed in your gut as he turned around, ending this conversation now that you had what you wanted.

„Hey, wait.“

He turned around again, looking at you expectantly. Damn, why did he have to be so handsome? Okay, focus, Y/N, focus.

„I kinda feel like owning you an apology for sniffing you, so uhm, sorry…?“

„Joon“, he replied.

„Joon?“

„Yeah, actually Namjoon but you can call me Joon.“

Gosh, his name is just as pretty as he is.

„And whom does the sniffing nose belong to?“

„Y/N“, you stretched out your hand, waiting for him to shake it.

Namjoon smiled warmly as he shook your delicate hand.

„Nice to meet you, Y/N.“

Nice to meet you, too, Joon.

His presence made you feel warm, and comfortable.

„So, when’s the party?“

You took a glance at your wrist, cursing yourself for arriving late.

„Started 30 minutes ago“, you confessed.

„So what, you forgot about the present?“

„No“, you exclaimed agitated.

„I just.. It’s hard to shop for him, that’s all.“

„So, you were looking for the perfect gift, is that it?“

You nodded, not entirely convinced that a perfume would be it but you were left with no options.

„What about you? Shopping for yourself?“

„Yeah, I was kinda looking for the next perfume that you would sniff on me, actually“, he mused jokingly.

Wait, what was he saying?

„Wouldn’t your girlfriend be mad about that?“

Clearly, someone like him had to be taken already. Namjoon’s eyes widened in surprise - were you that oblivious?

„I don’t have one. So sniff me all you want“, he smiled sneakily.

You looked down, cheeks rosy and shy from this playful banter.

„Excuse me but we are closing the shop right now. Please buy something or leave, thank you“, the store clerk interrupted the two of you.

„Oh sure, sorry!“, you marched to the front, paying for the ridiculously expensive perfume while Namjoon was following you. You stood outside the store for a while, getting to know each other and flirting candidly.

You learned that he was an artist, who worked with his hands a lot. He loved to read and rhyme on his own, often hanging out at public libraries and hidden bookstores. You bit your lip as you were right about him, he was a smart one.

Smart. Handsome. Funny. And into me. What were the odds?

„Do you think your brother will like the perfume?“

You shrugged your shoulders, not really sure if that was the best gift after all. You recalled his words in your mind „be happy and healthy and get a boyfriend“…

Suddenly, a new idea flooded your consciousness.

„Hey Joon?“, you asked out of the blue.

„Hm?“

„What are you doing tonight?“

„Nothing, actually. I’m free like a bird“, he cheered warmly.

Jackpot.

„Wanna come with me? Be my date for tonight?“

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violetsiren90 · 1 year

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Blame Me (Teaser) | Jungkook/Reader

Pairing: Jungkook/Noona Reader (fem reader)

Genre: Best friend's younger brother; slow burn; friends to lovers; eventual romance; eventual smut; neighbors/childhood friends au; forbidden(ish) love; summer love

Summary: Upon returning to your hometown after breaking off your engagement to your boyfriend of three years, you reconnect with your childhood bestfriend as you attempt to put the pieces of your life back together. It seems like nothing has changed in the sleepy little town until your bestie's younger brother returns home from college - very, very grown. As the summer stretches on, the stakes get higher - can you play with fire without getting burned, or have you ignited a flame that won't be extinguished?

Warnings: 18+ (minors, dni); age-gap relationship (between consenting adults); lots of fluff; explicit smut (chapters will have their own warnings); secret relationships; angsty moments; messy situations/relationships; JK on a motorcycle; working through insecurities

Release date: Mid-late May

Author's note: Hello! This will be my first time posting a full-fledged chapter-installment fic here, but I'm excited because I've had this concept brewing in the back of my mind for a while now and BTS Chapter 2 Jungkook, with his curly hair and all his flirty little lives has me soft AF 😂🥰. After launching chapter one, I'm aiming to update twice a month. The teaser below is just a snippet of an interaction to give you a feel for their dynamic.

If you want to be added to the tag list, comment or send me an ask to let me know!

________________________________________

He slug his leg over the bike and settled in, hands on the bars, and flashed a smile over at you that made you suspect he knew just how good he looked sitting there in all that denim.

"C'mon, noona!" He urged, rolling his wrist to rev the engine as his booted foot kicked up the stand. You had never been on a motorcycle before, and if you were being honest with yourself, you were a little terrified of the idea of flying down the road so exposed and precariously perched.

"I don't know, Jungkook..." you wavered, crossing your arms over your chest but advancing a step or two to examine the machine humming under his weight. As you roved your eyes uncertainly over the bike, he reached out and grabbed your arm, pulling you gently but firmly to him.

"Don't you trust me?" He cooed, batting his long lashes over the most obnoxiously irresistible pair of puppy eyes.

"Don't look at me like that!" you chided. He continued to look at you exactly like that. You sighed in defeat.

"Fine," you mumbled, and he let out a laugh, turning to grab the helmet perched behind him and press it over your head before you could protest. You narrowed your eyes at him, your hair pinned sloppily between the two pads of foam squishing together your cheeks. He stared at you for a moment then burst into a fit of laughter.

"Hey!" you whined, but it was hard to be mad at him with his eyes pressed into little crescent moons and his smile so wide and so gloriously blinding as he held his sides and rocked to and fro like a cartoon character. You smiled a small smile in spite of yourself.

"Okay, okay," you sighed, "I know I look dumb, but that was a bit much, don't you think?" Still smiling brightly and chuckling he reached over and buckled the strap under your chin, then patted the top of the helmet.

"Jolla gwiyeobda!" He giggled, tapping your nose. You felt a flush creep over your face and neck which he seemed blessedly oblivious to as he guided you up behind him onto the bike. As soon as your body made contact with the seat, gravity, that crafty bitch, pulled your hips down snugly against his ass, your thighs sliding firmly against the outsides of his own. You kept your hands gingerly on his shoulders as you activated every muscle in your core in an attempt to sit upright. He pulled a helmet over his mop of curls before plucking your hands from his shoulders to guide them around his waist, pulling your chest flush against his torso.

"Tighter, noona!" You could hear the smirk in his voice. This kid. He damn well better not be able to feel your heart beating at a million miles an hour into his back, you thought to yourself in mild distress.

"Like this?" you asked squeezing harder around his waist, and trying your absolute level best to ignore the definition and firmness of his muscles beneath your touch. He hummed in assent. You could still hear that damn smirk.

One rev.

Two revs.

You pressed your eyes shut and curled your head into his back.

He let out a bright peel of laughter.

And then suddenly, you were gliding forward. Faster and faster. You peeked an eye open to discover that in a few short seconds, you had already almost cleared the neighborhood. You cut through the warm evening air like bullet as trees and quaint suburban homes gave way to rolling fields of fertile green. As your broke into the open farmland, your breath caught in your throat. These were the same planes and hills that had met you for years, and yet it was as if you had never really seen them, not until now - with nothing but the wind between you and all of it, the swells of the earth and the sunset. Is this what it felt like to fly? Every ounce of trepidation in your body had been replaced with a euphoric thrill. Did he feel it too? Suddenly he let out a whooping howl that you could barely hear above the roar of the air whipping around you.

Yeah, he must feel it. You smiled. He had before said that sometimes freedom was just hitting the ground running. He said that sometimes you had to take risks to remind yourself that you were alive. As you pressed your cheek into the strong warmth of his back, you began to think you might have a thing or two to learn. And he might be the one to teach you.

-End teaser-

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prodagustd · 4 months

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the road not taken 02 | myg

Summary: You could count two times when you thought you got over Yoongi and then realized you were wrong (or maybe three times?)

part two: get up and fall again

< part one

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, use of drugs (just weed), flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 11k

—a/note: I took the longest time to write this but I'm back!! I'm so happy to finally post this !! fun fact: while I was writing this I listened to let the light in by lana del rey on loop!! and ofc, last night by the strokes !! hope you like it, as always, you're welcomed to discuss this part in my asks. 🥰

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago.

Three weeks before New Year's Eve.

Ever since you could remember you understood one thing that was going to define the first years of your life: you weren’t your brother. It wasn’t difficult to understand, but it was difficult to remember.

There was a four year gap between Simon and you, and an abyss between who he was and who you were that people didn’t seem to understand. Even if you had no interest in it, just the idea of competing with the image of your brother was completely pointless; he was the first son of a first daughter, the first grandson, the perfect portrait of your mother’s face, while you were the last granddaughter, the one who came at the wrong time, the one whose eyes could only resemble the sad ghost of your father.

You spent your preteen years witnessing how your aunts and your grandmother expected you to be the same, as if you were supposed to be as charming or as funny as him, despite the clear evidence that you were a completely different person. Maybe it was the dark clothes, or the black eyeliner you wore everyday, maybe your lack of social skills and the bad attitude in the mornings or just the desperate attempt to be different, while he was the cool sibling, you were seen as the weird one.

Maybe growing up with that label taped to your forehead would have made you resent him, you didn’t remember when or how, but you managed to separate him from all that bullshit. You loved Simon not just because you were attached to the hip since you were born, but because he was one of the few people who never expected anything from you but to be yourself. He always encouraged you to wear whatever clothes you wanted and listen to whatever screaming rock band you liked at the moment even if he didn’t understand any of it. And after all it wasn’t his fault that he was tall and handsome and good at basketball, it wasn’t his fault that you couldn’t and didn’t want to be a female version of him. You decided to embrace the difference. You weren’t your brother, and because of that you had to fight your way to find your own self.

When you found The Alley, or as Yoongi called it, the theater near the park with the weird fountains, you felt it clicked for you. It wasn’t just your theater classes, it was a place filled with people just like you, people who understood you. You didn’t have to explain your jokes there, you didn’t have to think twice before speaking, the image of your brother wasn’t hovering over you when people saw you, it was nice.

For the first time you were part of a community, you spent more time in The Alley than in your home, you knew all the bands who came to practice at the place, you knew the lady who cooked pizza for all the movie nights, you were friends with the guy who sold the tickets and the girl who worked at the bar. You spent all your summers volunteering with your friends, making popcorn, accommodating the seats, writing the plays you were going to perform when October came, it was part of you.

But when you had to leave for college you knew you had to leave everything behind. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia. You refused to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to live in the past, but tonight seemed to be an exception.

When your feet turned the corner of the park and your eyes found the Christmas Lights decorating the old theater on the other side of the street, you were hit by a wave of something you knew you shouldn’t feel, something close to relief. A feeling you always seemed to run away from.

“Should we buy popcorn?” Yoongi’s soft voice made you come out of your trance. You looked at him, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so you could cross the street.

“We need to get in line to secure our seats first.” You explained to him, feeling a rush of nervousness washing down your body. When you had your last day at The Alley you said goodbye to everyone and never made plans to come back, this was unexpected.

“But what if popcorn runs out?” He asked, as if that could be a possible scenario. “The line isn’t even that long.”

He pointed to the short line at the entrance, which was formed by just five people.

“Popcorn is not going to run out.” You rolled your eyes. “And even if the line is not long, we still need to get the best sets, they are not numbered.”

Yoongi stood in his place, understanding your logic, but at the same time wondering how did you know that the seats weren’t numbered in the first place.

He frowned “How did you know?” He asked. You turned to him, looking a bit confused, but then, a green light lit up his face, the traffic light allowing you to cross the street. You grabbed his hand, dragging him with you.

“Hurry up!” You exclaimed, quickly crossing the street to reach the end of the line.

Yoongi ran after you, but didn’t demand the answer of his question when you reached the end of the line. It was like both of you agreed not to disrupt one of those rare good moments when you didn’t have a frown on your face, it was so hard to grasp it that he decided to do whatever you said, he even let you make fun of him when you realized he was wearing a dress white shirt under his coat, just for the sake of keeping a smile on your face.

You touched the collar of his shirt, tugging from it just to annoy him.

“Ouch!” He complained, but didn’t do anything to pull away from you.

“My mom is probably thrilled that I’m hanging out with you.” You mentioned, fixing the collar and smoothing the fabric with your fingers like you weren’t the one who messed it up. “I bet she thinks that if I spend enough time with you, you’ll turn me into a lawyer like you.”

Yoongi scoffed, believing that impossible “I’m not a lawyer yet.” He said, and you knew that, but he wasn’t far from it. “But even if I was, I couldn’t turn you into one.”

“Of course not, we can’t both be lawyers.” You murmured, leaning on the wall behind you. “Besides, I couldn't be a lawyer… I’ve never learned to lie.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, waiting for his reaction, but he just rolled his eyes, sighing.

“You’re mean…” He hissed.

But Yoongi seemed to be fine with it, he took all your mean jokes about lawyers like a bullet, accepting his destiny, accepting how different both of you were.

In times like these, it hurt a bit to notice how kind he was, from the tip of his red nose to the palms of his rough hands, kindness was all he had to offer. The contrast of how hard you struggled to be nice to how easy it was for him was palpable, Yoongi smiled to the skinny teenage boy who checked your tickets and the girl who gave away flyers advertising the next movie night the following weekend and never forgot to say thank you, while you had to constantly remind yourself not to curse every person who crossed your way, at least not out loud.

Once you were inside the place you forced yourself to shake those thoughts off your head, determined to drag Yoongi across the principal hall in order to get your seats without looking back.

There were multiple kinds of chairs at the theater, it was one of the things that made it so special. The Alley was never built to be a theater, it was a big old house bought by a group of friends years and years ago. They tore up a few walls and built it to be a place to watch movies, paint, do theater, play music or write poetry. On movie nights they put together different chairs and a projector and it suddenly turned into a cinema.

You were sure Yoongi didn’t know any of this, it was the first time he put foot in this place, but you, who had plenty of experience, knew where the best seats were.

The best seats were located in the middle of the room, it was a couple of recycled red cinema chairs. You remembered that Sid, one of the owners of the place, told you that he got them at an auction and that they were vintage, but to you they just looked old and dusty at the time. Of course over time you realized that they were the best place to be, they were located just in the perfect place and they were the most comfortable, but they were only two sets of four chairs, so if you didn’t hurry up you would have ended up at the back of the room sitting on some bleachers.

Yoongi didn’t understand why you were in a rush to get there, but you were right, you got the best seats.

“Now, stay here.” You told him “I’m coming back with popcorn.”

You thought it was only right that if he bought the tickets, you were supposed to buy popcorn and drinks. But then again, you weren’t supposed to think of this as a date at all.

You rushed to the entry of the room, turning on the corner near the bar and saw the stand of popcorn. As you stood in the line, you realized you didn’t notice how cold it was outside until you felt how warm the place was inside. You guessed that the hurry to get to the seats didn’t give room to think about it at all.

Almost four years went by and it was like time didn’t pass at all inside these walls. Things in your hometown never changed, and sometimes you liked it that way, but most of the time it was the main reason why you wanted to run away from it. Your mom always said you were a creature of metamorphosis, always changing, and you accepted the title for a while, but now you were wondering if your need to morph just meant that you could never be truly happy with any of the paths that you chose for yourself.

In no time you bought the popcorn and came back to your seat, a little displeased with the thought, but glad that you didn’t find anyone who could recognize you. You were safe for now, perhaps you could watch the movie and come back home going unnoticed.

But of course things never worked in the way you wanted.

“Sorry, excuse me.” You murmured, managing to carry two cups filled with coke and a bucket of popcorn, you watched your step carefully, trying not to step on other people. You raised your gaze, focusing on reaching the empty seat next to Yoongi, who was looking at his phone.

You took a seat next to him, handing him the drink. He murmured a small ‘thank you’, but didn’t look at you. “What are you doing?” You asked him, burying a finger on the side of his torso, making him jump in surprise.

“I’m trying to prove you wrong, look…” He replied, showing the screen of his phone to you. You narrowed your eyes, trying to focus your gaze on whatever he was showing to you, a website filled with reviews of Home Alone 2. “It has good reviews.”

You snatched the phone off his hands, observing the preview photo and the poster of, what it seemed to be, Yoongi’s favorite movie. You scrolled for a couple seconds, checking if what he said was true. “Three stars' average reviews is not good.” You informed him, but now he looked offended.

“Three stars is good for a Christmas movie, what are you talking about?” He insisted.

“What are you talking about? The first one has five stars’ average reviews, if you settle for bad Christmas movies, that’s on you.” You teased him, giving him his phone back.

He shook his head, scoffing “I can’t believe you think Home Alone 2 is a bad Christmas movie, it has that scene with the pigeon lady!” He kept insisting.

“Which scene?” You asked, but by doing that, you gave yourself away.

“What do you mean which scene?” He asked, confused. You opened your mouth, wanting to defend yourself, but then he gasped. “God, Pinky. You have never watched Home Alone 2, haven’t you?

Your mouth hung open, starting to laugh “I-... I just-”

“No, I can’t believe it.” He laughed, shaking his head in disapproval “You never watched it.”

“I’ve watched the beginning, okay?” You tried to explain. “And I think it was enough for me to decide if it was a good movie or not.”

“Bullshit.” Yoongi said, now a bit offended that you talked shit about a movie that you didn’t even finish.“You can’t decide that if you didn’t even watch the scene with the pigeon lady.”

You laughed even harder, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

He opened his eyes widely. “Of course you don’t, you didn’t watch the movie!” He exclaimed “You just have to stop pretending to be a film critic to enjoy some movies, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, the fact that I’m here means that I’m willing to try.”

The fact that you were here meant you were irremediably in love with him, a voice in your head reminded you of that, and maybe it was the same thing.

“For me?” He teased you, making you close your eyes for a split second. That didn’t help at all.

You sank into your seat, “For you, I guess.”

And that could've been the beginning of the end of the night. You and Yoongi watching the movie and coming back home before it was too late and laying in bed remembering every word he said, like they meant something else, before falling asleep.

But nothing could ever be that simple.

“You!” A high pitched voice interrupted the silence. You raised your gaze, startled. Your eyes found a redhead girl turned around in the seat in front of you, pointing her finger at you with a big smile decorating her bright red lips. “I knew I recognized that voice from somewhere!”

You felt your stomach drop.

Minnie.

“Oh, God, Minnie.” You breathed out. “You scared me!”

Perhaps on the way here you prayed so hard not to see somebody you knew tonight that whoever that was up there in the sky heard you, but instead of helping you, decided to laugh at you in your face, because sitting directly in front of you was Minnie, one of your closest partners during your theater days.

And the only person who you ever told about Yoongi.

“Do I look that old?” She giggled, cupping her face in her palms “It’s only been a few years, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in decades!”

“Yes…I mean, no!” You pressed your lips together, crossing looks with Yoongi, who looked at you with curious eyes. “I just didn't expect to see you here.”

“Me?” Minnie scrunched her nose, laughing “I didn’t expect to see you, what are you doing here?”

“Me?” You nervously laughed. “I was in town and I- we came to see the movie…” You managed to explain, trying to act as normal as possible, but you were sure that your shaking eyes, jumping from Yoongi’s face to Minnie’s, were giving you away. “This is Yoongi, by the way. And this is Minnie, a friend.” You introduced both of them.

If any of them realized how nervous you were, they didn’t say a thing.

Minnie, as expressive as she was, opened her eyes wide open, surprised.

“Oh, Yoongi, Yoongi?” She asked, emphasizing every vowel of his name.

“Is there another Yoongi?” Yoongi laughed, turning his head to see you.

You wanted to vomit.

“Mmm, not that I know of!” She smiled, offering her hand for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you, Yoongi-Yoongi.” Yoongi took her hand, shaking it three times right in front of your petrified face. “I heard a lot of things about you back in the day.”

Minnie winked at you in a very exaggerated manner, instantly making you freeze in your place. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you were about to vomit, but maybe that would be an amazing scenario for you, you would have to run away to the closest bathroom and wouldn’t have to be in the presence of this interaction.

“Oh, really?” Yoongi smiled, displaying his gummy smile. “What things?”

“You know, all kinds of things.” She raised her eyebrows, clearly amused with the look on your face, that begged her to please shut up.

“Me and Minnie- we used to come here a lot when we were in high school.” You intervened in the conversation, trying to change the subject as soon as you could without thinking much.

“That’s right, we were pretty close!” She reminisced “We were always paired up together.”

“Paired up in what?” Yoongi asked, naturally.

“Theater.” She explained without giving you much time to think about saying something else. “Didn’t you know that your girl had her beginnings here, at The Alley?”

You gulped, and Yoongi, for the first time during the night, seemed to read you just right. He tilted his head, surprised “Well, no. She didn’t say anything.”

“Really?” She frowned, not understanding why, but Yoongi immediately got it.

“It was a long time ago…” You trailed off, trying hard not to make it seem like a big deal, like it was just a hobby you had when you were a teenager, but Yoongi knew you. He could see it in your eyes, the same look you had when Simon caught you using his legos, when you had to tell your mom you got suspended for getting in a fight in high school, the same look you had when you were caught. It was clear to him that you didn’t want him to see that part of you, whatever it was.

“I mean, she’s always been pretty mysterious, hasn’t she?” Minnie said “It takes a while to figure her out, you’ll get there.”

“I think I’m close enough, aren’t I?” His answer was smooth, almost annoying you. He playfully squeezed your knee and you wished he hadn't done it, because your old friend was now looking at you with stars in her eyes full of excitement. It had been almost four years since you had a proper talk with Minnie, but despite the fact that little to nothing happened between you and the man next to you, you were sure she was convinced you were on a date right now.

And perhaps it was not just his hand on your knee, maybe it was the fond look on his eyes too, seeking complicity in his jokes, but you were not going to go down that route tonight. You scoffed. “Not one bit.” You said, out of bitterness, because Yoongi knew you as well as your brother, perhaps his only flaws were being dumb and blind, but that came with being a man anyway.

For your own good, the lights of the room flickered twice, meaning that the movie was about to start soon. “That means I should leave you alone, right?” Minnie sighed, “But it’s really nice to see you here after so long, sweetheart.”

You nodded, offering her a soft smile, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was in Minnie’s nature to always offer love and kindness to everyone, but it was hard to hold her gaze when she called you by that name, knowing that you didn’t deserve it.

“It’s nice to see you, too.” Was all you could say, despite it being a lie.

In another universe you would’ve loved to see your old friend and feel something bigger than nostalgia, but you couldn’t, you felt obligated to reject the feeling. You couldn’t live in the fantasy of what could have been.

She was about to turn around, but before she could do it, she raised one of her fingers, like she just remembered something. “By the way… Are you still doing theater?” She inquired.

You shrugged, shaking your head “Ummm… Not really…”

She pouted, disappointed. “That’s a shame, because… I don’t know, it’s crazy that I’m seeing you tonight. I know of someone who’s looking for someone just like you, if you were interested.” Her words lingered in the air, but the lights flickered again. “But I’m guessing I should keep that for after the movie… And Yoongi!” She exclaimed, pointing at him “I’m glad that you finally stopped dating dumb girls, my friend right there was very popular around here. You’re very lucky.”

You almost gasped, immediately turning your head to Yoongi, who just scoffed amused. Before you could even breathe, your friend turned around exactly when the lights went off, starting the movie right away.

You held your breath for what felt to be an eternity, but in the darkness you saw a smirk tugging from Yoongi’s lips, being followed by an outburst of laughter. The sound of his quiet laugh made you freeze in your place, was he laughing at you?

You opened your mouth, trying to find an explanation for your friend’s comment, but he shook his head as if he was stopping you, clearly entertained by the shocking look on your face. “Oh, save it for later.” He whispered, brushing it off.

You pressed your lips together, sinking in your seat as you observed him focusing on the movie, and you were supposed to do the same, but you couldn’t think of anything else. The only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t see how red your face was, because you sure as hell could feel it.

God, you wanted to die, but whoever put you through this whole thing knew that death could only be seen as kindness.

How come that after years of quitting theater you were still being this dramatic? You didn’t know, but tonight death felt like a greater destiny than the embarrassment you felt.

In situations like these, you remembered two specific times during the past seven years when you thought you got over Yoongi, but then you realized you failed miserably.

You evoked the memory of those two situations for a special reason, to teach you a lesson: you must not continue to engage with the man sitting next to you. There were three reasons for you to learn from this lesson, because otherwise:

It would hurt your mind.

It would hurt your heart.

It would hurt your soul.

These seemed three perfectly logical reasons to learn the lesson, but you were never the best student.

The first memory that always came to mind was the first time Yoongi and Simon came back home for Christmas after going to college. It had been six months since you decided to convince yourself that the last two years you spent being in love with him were just a fever, but when Yoongi walked in the room and you saw that he got a new haircut and pierced his ears, you thought that the plan “get over my brother’s best friend” would not work at all, at least not now. Maybe you could try the following year.

(Spoiler: the following year did not work either.)

The second time was last summer, a few months ago, when both of them came back for summer break and Yoongi invited you to some pool party. You were supposed to go with Simon, but at the last minute he ended up getting sick and told you two to go alone. There was a time when you believed that Simon worked as some kind of barrier between you and Yoongi, hanging out with them meant that now you were a group of three, it reminded you that the only reason you kept seeing Yoongi was because he was Simon’s best friend, nothing else. And when you and Yoongi were alone, well… It was different.

That night none of you were planning to get into the pool, it was a strange house full of strange people and it almost felt like you were crashing the party. You were wearing a black summer dress and Yoongi was wearing jeans, you only went for free alcohol and to check if someone had any weed, you thought you were safe. Of course every little effort you made trying not to think that way about him anymore was ruined when decided to take off his shirt, grab you by your hips and jump in the pool, dragging you with him.

Needless to say, you were furious. The only thought that crossed your mind was that neither of you had a change of clothes, but he didn’t care. When you got your head out of the water, you saw him laughing.

You gasped “Fuck you!” You punched his arm, not caring that everyone around you was observing you, laughing because he did something cute.

He kept laughing “I’m sorry, you looked hot!” He defended himself, grabbing your arms to pull you closer under the water.

“What!?” You shouted, fighting against his hold but wondering if you heard that right.

“You looked like you needed a dip!” He clarified, shouting back. His lips stretched widely, showing you a white smile. You wished you could punch that cheeky expression off his face, but you were too busy trying not to sink into the water as he firmly gripped your waist, crashing your body against his bare chest.

“You idiot, I can’t swim!” You whined, gripping his shoulders so you wouldn’t drown.

He snickered, hugging you closer. “It’s fine, Pinky, I wouldn’t let you die in front of all these people.”

The moment you realized you had not gotten over Yoongi was not then, it was not when he took off his shirt either, and it was not when you saw him running his fingers through his wet hair, nor when you saw the drops of water dripping down his wide back, no. Not even when he wrapped his strong arms around your body or when he gripped your hips and lifted you up to seat you on the edge of the pool. You realized that you were still in love with Yoongi when he sat next to you, and when he realized that you were not playing, that you were really angry, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead, whispering “I’m sorry.”

The heart clenching memory of the look on his face, the sound of his voice and the touch of his lips against your skin were enough to screw you up, but not enough to make you learn the lesson.

Now, sitting next to him, you began to think that you were finally losing your mind when you tried to focus on the movie for the first ten minutes, and then for the next thirty minutes, and the next fifty, but when an hour passed you found out, or you just remembered, that it was useless to focus on something else when Yoongi was by your side.

You often forgot how impossible it was for you to ignore Yoongi’s presence, even in the most packed and loudest rooms, but the confirmation that you finally drove yourself insane was when you noticed that you just couldn’t ignore his arm laying next to yours in the shared armrest, or your hands touching when you reached to grab popcorn, and you certainly couldn’t ignore his fingers when they reached to play with the fabric of the hem of your sleeve.

You carefully looked down to the arm rest, observing his fingers tugging the tiny piece of ruffle fabric at the end of your sleeve. He wasn’t trying to get your attention or to annoy you, it was something almost unconscious, a small gesture, very easy to miss, but it was enough for you to stop breathing for a moment. Now, it was impossible to ignore the warmth of his fingers slightly grazing over your wrist.

You sighed deeply, feeling the failure sinking in your bones once again. The line between what you were supposed to feel and what you were actually feeling was always blurry, but this time seemed to be completely erased, and once again, you were the one to blame for thinking that this time seeing Yoongi could be any different.

You were screwed up again.

You could say you enjoyed the last part of the movie, at least the parts where you were zoning out enough to quiet your mind, but when the lights were turned on you remembered that your brain hated you.

Your eyes swept the place, observing the people around you clapping as the credits rolled down.

“So?” His voice sneaked into the hustle and bustle of your head, making you turn to look at him, but your eyes focused on the almost empty bucket of popcorn on his lap. “Do you like it? I’ve never seen Home Alone on a big screen.”

You grabbed a handful of popcorn from the very bottom of the bucket. “I’ve seen it plenty of times on a big screen.” You said, stuffing your mouth with the food so you wouldn’t answer any of the questions you knew he was about to make, but the second those words left your mouth you realized you gave yourself away.

“Yeah, I imagine.” He scoffed, signaling with his head towards the empty seat where Minnie was sitting a few seconds ago. You were grateful that she disappeared the moment the movie ended so she wouldn’t hear this conversation. “I heard some of it just now.” You huffed, pretending to be tired of him and chewing long enough to prevent yourself from talking. “Is there anything else I should know? Apart from the fact that you have a secret twin who takes theater classes and has friends who are actually nice?”

The only thing that could come out of your mouth was something rude. “Oh, shut up.” You spat, looking at anything else except his face.

Yoongi shifted on his seat with a shameless smirk decorating his face, getting closer to you. “Don’t! Don’t shut me up.” He laughed, casually grabbing your face between his fingers so you wouldn’t run away from his gaze. “I want to know all about that, like, were you really talking shit about me during high school?”

You frowned, remembering what Minnie said about Yoongi dating dumb girls. Of all the conclusions he could have drawn from that, was that the one he came up with?”

“I wasn’t… talking shit about you.” You wanted to explain “Have you considered that I was just really into gossiping?”

He snorted, “It’s the same thing.”

“It’s not.” You denied.

“So you were gossiping about me?” He asked “About the girls I dated?”

“C’mon, what about it?” You tried to dismiss as quickly as possible “I was like fourteen, and in my defense, you never had good taste in girls.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, a bit offended “Why? You really think the girls I dated were dumb?” You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “That’s not very feminist of you.”

You rolled your eyes “Oh shut up, what do you know about feminism?” You said. “Those were just… facts.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of that.” He scoffed “What I’m not so sure about is that thing your friend said… That I’m really lucky to be with you.”

“Ignore her.” You tried to cut him, looking away so he wouldn’t notice how embarrassed you were.

“No, why?” He smiled, poking fun at you. “She said you were really popular, but I don’t get it. I don’t know a man who could stand your behavior for more than two hours. Besides me, of course.”

You could be offended by that, but it was the truth.

“Well, they couldn't,” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. “They just wanted me for my talent.”

“Let me doubt that.” He said “If you were so good, why did you never tell me?”

“Well, it was a secret” You confessed, there was no point in hiding now. “I didn’t want anyone to know, people would think it was dumb.”

“And when did you care about what other people think?”

You sighed. All the time, you wanted to say, but you kept that for yourself.

“I just... wanted it for myself, no one had to know.” You explained.

Yoongi waited a few seconds for you to say something else, but you weren’t willing to pour your heart to him just yet. Yes, when you found The Alley you discovered a part of yourself that was completely unique, but that didn’t mean you wanted to share it. It was for you only, and you were happy with that.

“Well, Pinky.” He sighed, squeezing your knee like he always did. “Even if it was a secret… I’m telling you, you were pretty obvious.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned, confused

“I mean, you always liked High School Musical a little bit too much.” He explained as a mocking smirk tugged from the corners of his lips. “At first I thought it was just Zac Efron, but now it makes sense.”

You nudged his shoulder before the frown in your face disappeared into laughter. “High School Musical is the best movie ever, to be obsessed with it was just logical.” You tried to excuse yourself “That and, of course, Zac Efron.”

“I never thought you would have a thing for basketball players.” He muttered, trying to play nonchalant as his eyes wandered towards the corner of the room, circling back to your gaze. You realized he was expecting an answer for that.

“Kind of.” You waved off, pretending to be laid back about it. “But only the ones who have this internal struggle about their father’s plans for their future and their unusual passion for musical comedy.”

He let out an amused snort. “Very specific, what a shame.”

You stared at him for a second, wondering what game he was trying to play now.

You tried so hard to keep your face straight, to try to show him that you weren’t phased by any of his stupid jokes. You wanted to remind him that you weren’t like any of those girls who were charmed just by the sight of his eyes, you weren’t like those girls he stopped in the hallways just to make them giggle when you were in high school, you wanted to make clear that you were different — except that, of course, you weren’t. The moment he displayed that specific smirk, you committed the unforgivable crime of blushing.

But he was quick to dismiss it, he always was.

And you were obligated to forget about it.

“So? Why did you leave it?” He inquired, “Were you that bad?” He ignored that the room was now almost empty. Maybe in another situation you would’ve taken advantage of that and told him it was time to go to avoid telling the truth, but why hide now? Maybe telling the truth wasn’t so bad.

You smirked, rolling your eyes. “I was the best one in my group, you don’t even know.”

“Yeah?” He moved closer to you with big eyes, showing you how curious he was.

“Of course, do you have any doubts?”

“Well, yes, a few.” He teased “I’d have to see it for myself.”

“Sure, when they clear the stage I’ll do a demonstration just for you.” You joked, successfully making him laugh.

“That would be an amazing way to avoid my question.” He pointed.

You felt your chest getting lighter, and if that hinted you that it meant something dangerous, you ignored it.

“I wasn’t doing that.” You tried to defend yourself.

“You do that all the time.” He reminded you, and he was right. You bit back a smile, darting him a look for exposing you.

“Fine, then. I’ll be honest.” You surrendered, maybe Yoongi could convince you to jump off a cliff if he looked at you with those eyes. “I left it when I was finishing high school, I was about to leave for college and… I had to grow up, you know? I grew too attached to this place but I knew I couldn’t cling onto these things forever.”

“Can’t you?” He questioned “Didn’t you like to do it?”

“I mean, yes, but-”

“Then, why drop it?” He interrupted.

You breathed in, wishing that you could find the words to say it in a way that made sense, because you weren’t sure what was right or wrong anymore.

“Maybe I was on an ego trip back then, I don’t know.” You admitted. “I thought I was genuinely good but I couldn’t do anything about it, like I was stuck here. I had to let it go, for me it’s all or nothing.”

Perhaps you weren’t talking only about theater now. Perhaps you were talking about everything, perhaps you were talking about him. And it was a bit harsh, but it was the truth, or what you decided to be the truth. Yoongi took one hard look at you, as if he was expecting you to realize how dumb that sounded, but you already knew that, otherwise you wouldn’t be there right now, at home before Christmas because you dropped out of college. You didn’t even know if when you left for college that excuse made sense, you just knew that you were bitter and angry and if you couldn't follow your dreams, you didn’t want them at all. And if you couldn’t be with Yoongi, you couldn’t see him at all.

You ripped the bandaid off, but three years later it exploded in your face.

“All or nothing?” He repeated, but you just nodded. “But did you try first? Because as far as I know you didn’t.”

You bitterly laughed,“Yeah, right” You got up from your seat, ready to leave “And who would’ve taken me seriously?”

He got up with you, blocking the way to stop you from getting out from the sea of chairs just yet. You raised your chin, finding his eyes. “I would have.” He casually mumbled, but his words echoed in your head, clenching your heart.

You tried to search in your brain for something snarky to say, but you froze under his gaze. “And If I wouldn’t have…” He continued “If I were a complete prick who doesn’t care about you, you should’ve done it anyway. Even if your mom puts on a bad face.”

You wanted to stop him, to shut him up. But he was right, even if you didn’t need to hear that tonight. You loved your mom and you knew she didn’t expect anything from you but to be happy, she was just worried, you knew that, but you hated that she had to see you trip with your own decisions.

“Have you ever tried to be wrong?” You asked him, pushing his chest with your palms. “Like, just once?” Walking past him, hearing his laugh behind you followed by his quick steps running after you.

“Don’t be mad ‘cause I’m right.” He teased.

“I’m not mad.” You said, walking towards the entrance, hearing music coming from the other room. “Just annoyed that you had to go to college and left me here making dumb decisions.”

He smiled, happy that you decided to show a glimpse of love for him. “Do I need to remind you that you’re just twenty one and your life is not over?”

“Yes, maybe.” You said “Several times a day, please.”

You stood in the hall, attempting to put your coat back on, but he stopped you, stealing the piece of clothing away from you. “What are you doing?” He asked, smiling. “Don’t you know that we have to dance now?”

You widely opened your eyes, almost completely forgetting that. When you bought the tickets for movie nights, you were also invited to the afterparty that was held right after the movie ended, hence the loud music playing in the next room, the biggest one of the place. You didn’t think Yoongi would be interested in staying.

“Do you want to dance?” You checked first. You didn’t know if you were interested in staying either.

“C’mon, I have plenty of experience from frat parties.” He bragged, taking a few steps back towards the room where the music came from.

You shook your head. “This isn’t like those parties you went to with Simon where they play Shape Of You every three songs”

“Why would it be different?” He said, slightly offended. Yoongi kinda liked Shape Of You…

You grabbed his hand, dragging him into the next room as you asked him something very important, “Yoongi, do you know who The Strokes are?”

After entering the room, Yoongi disappeared for a few moments to leave your coats in the cloakroom of the place, leaving you alone to collect your thoughts once again. When you first entered the place to watch the movie you couldn’t wait to leave, and now you were in a dark room under the red lights, feeling excited at the idea of dancing like you were a teenager again. It was time for you to understand that your life was already a mess, nothing was going to change if you stayed at The Alley dancing just for tonight.

When Yoongi came back you were quick to drag him towards the center of the dancefloor, right when the first chords of Last Nite by the Strokes began to resonate in the room, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of happiness running down your body. Yoongi looked at you funny, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. He didn’t expect that you, of all people, would be excited to dance.

It turned out that Yoongi didn’t live under a rock, he did know who The Strokes were, but barely. You knew that he always preferred hip hop and rap, but the lack of interest he had for other genres surprised you. “I don’t know the song!” He shouted over the music

“What about it?” You said, grabbing his hands to pull him closer. “You must dance anyway, or they’ll kick you out!”

The look of terror in Yoongi’s eyes made you laugh, but you didn’t pity him, he was the one who wanted to dance in the first place, even when both of you knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who dance at parties, he wasn’t the kind of person who danced at all.

“How!?” He asked, ignoring the mass of people jumping around him.

“Just do what I do!” You exclaimed, shaking your head side to side to the rhythm, making the strands of your hair hit your face, and his face too. Yoongi laughed, knowing then that if he didn’t dance he would look like an absolute loser. He was still hesitant to follow you, but when you began to jump, he slowly began to jump too, trying hard to shake his head the same way you were doing as he felt his ribcage shake from his laughter.

You nodded your head, happily tapping your feet against the ground to the loud rhythm of the drums “Oh, baby I feel so down, oh, it turn’ me off” You sang to him, but he shook his head, disappointed that he didn’t know the lyrics and couldn’t sing the words back to you, but you didn’t care, you were happy enough watching him trying to copy your moves.

You grabbed his hands, perhaps taking advantage of the situation to tangle his fingers with you, opening your arms with your hands still connected to his, shortening the distance. “I’m not a good dancer either.” You said, maybe way too close to his face.

Yoongi scrunched his nose, giving you a half twirl to make your back crush against his chest, trapping you between his arms. “Are you saying I’m not a good dancer?” You felt his lips brushing against your cheek, making you shiver.

You closed your eyes shut, trying to breathe in. “Not all!” You yelled, spinning out of his arms. “But no one’s watching.”

He took the liberty to slide his hands down your torso, gripping your waist and pulling you close to his body. “You are watching.” He said, like he was reminding you.

“Then, impress me.”

You were thankful that the sound of the music drowned the sound of your heart, who was threatening to run away from your chest in the exact moment he smiled at you, accepting the challenge.

You couldn’t count the amount of times Yoongi made you spin in the room, like you were dancing a waltz, before you realized that neither of you were wearing clothes made for dancing, you were wearing a black long sleeve shirt and Yoongi was wearing that ridiculous white dress shirt that made him look like he came out of one of your dreams when he rolled up his sleeves. As one song ended and another one started, he began to stop caring if he didn’t know the lyrics, it was fine as long as he followed you, but when your hands began to felt sweaty and you felt like you needed air, you decided it was time to leave, but not before you finished dancing Song 2 by Blur, because what other chance would you have to dance Song 2 by Blur with Yoongi? And what other chance would you have to watch him copy every move you made like you were an expert at dancing? And what other chance would you have to be alone with him without feeling like your heart was sinking? It was like the loud music didn’t allow you to feel anything else but joy, or maybe you were already high from all the people smoking weed around you, either way, you were happy.

You didn’t want to began feeling overwhelmed, the most exciting thing that happened today, before Yoongi, was finding out that your mom’s boyfriend gave her a teddy bear that sang All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey when you pressed its paw, you could blame —or just thank him— for taking you out of your house. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy as it did at the beginning of the night, but you knew it was time to leave.

As he waited at the door, you decided to look for your coats. There was a line of people waiting to leave theirs, when you were just trying to leave the place. You expected to get in line, wait a maximum of five minutes and then leave, but right at the end of the line you found, of course, Minnie, because it couldn’t be any other way.

She was alone, holding two purses and a big puffer jacket that was probably not hers. As soon as you stood behind her, she turned around, clearly she wasn’t expecting to see you again. “Oh, hi again!” She greeted you with the same big white smile you saw earlier tonight. “I had to leave when the movie ended, but I wanted to talk to you, where’s your boyfriend?”

You sighed, not wanting to remember what she said to Yoongi. “He’s not my boyfriend, Minnie.” You said. “He’s just… Yoongi.”

“Just Yoongi, huh?” She raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. “What are you doing on a date with Just Yoongi?”

“It’s not a date, he just invited me to watch the movie.” You tried to explain, but she wasn’t convinced.

“Sounds like a date to me.” She giggled, completely ignoring what you said. “I remember when you were like fifteen and cried because he kissed some ugly girl at the New Year’s party, and now you’re on a date!”

You shook your head, you didn't dare to acknowledge what she said. The memory of that night made you cringe, you remembered running to Minnie and telling everything about it while sobbing like somebody just died. She hugged you and told you that she was sure the girl was super ugly, which wasn’t the truth at all, but it was the version she decided to keep.

“But it’s not a date.” You reminded her.

“If you say so…” She winked at you, taking a step forward to advance in the line. “But anyway! Weren’t you still in college?”

Perhapsit was the rush of the dopamine in your body, or the fact that she spoke to you as if not a day had passed since the last time she saw you, but you told her the truth.

“Well, I’m supposed to be in college.” You said, “But I dropped out recently.”

“Oh, thank God.” She suddenly let out, almost by accident. You looked at her, amused that she dared to say that. “I mean, don’t get me wrong!” She rushed to say “It’s just, you know, it was about time for you to realize.”

You smiled, feeling your chest getting warm. When you told people you dropped out of college, most of the time they looked worried, like you made a mistake, but Minnie looked relieved, and that made you feel like it wasn’t such a horrible decision.

“I know, don’t remind me.” You huffed, looking at your feet.

“I can't help but do it.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, thinking “I always thought I was going to see you on a big screen someday, I was disappointed when you left for college.”

How cheesy, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t, not when she was the one who believed in you in ways you never did.

“Well, I’m out of there now.” You just said.

“So, if you’re not in college and you’re not doing theater, what are you doing?”

You scoffed, feeling like you just got scolded “Rotting in bed until Christmas, I guess.”

“Okay, I can respect that, but what about after the holidays?” She continued to ask.

You shrugged, “I have to figure that out yet.”

“So… About what I was telling you before the movie started…”

“Yeah, I mean, about that…” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to cut your sentence.

“Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, you’re out the theater stuff too, I know.” She said, waving her hands in front of your face so you wouldn’t keep talking. “But I’ve got this friend in the city who’s a director, he is working on this project and is looking for a main character, I don’t know, for some reason it reminded me of you. And now you’re here, so it has to mean something, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows “Why would it remind you of me?” You inquired. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”

“Crazy, isn’t it?” She laughed, “He pitched to me, it’s some gothic dramatic love story, he wanted to know if I knew of someone.”

Was this some kind of joke? You, realizing that you were never happy in college, coming back home, coming back to the theater where you used to dream to step on a stage someday, or Yoongi telling you all that stuff about not even trying to make your dreams come true, and now this? Something inside you moved, you didn’t know what, but you did know why you were home after all. You told Yoongi about this in your garage the other day, you dropped out of college for a reason, you weren’t built to have a nine to five job, but you also weren’t sure what is what you wanted.

You looked at Minnie like you were sorry to turn down her proposal “Minnie, I haven’t been on a play in years.” You told her, already anticipating the rejection of her offer.

“I know that, but I’ve always trusted your talent, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about this.” She replied “Look, I’m not asking you to say yes right now, but if you want to know more you can give me your new number.” You kept quiet for a few seconds. Not knowing what to say, you began to nervously laugh, that sounded crazy to you. “C’mon, don’t laugh! If it's of any use, it's a very well paid job.”

Now you began to laugh for real. “What do you mean it's a very well paid job?” You asked, not believing her for one second. Most plays you used to be part of during your high school days never left a dime.

“It is!” She insisted “You don’t know my friend, he has rich parents, he doesn't do things for the love of art. I mean, he likes theater, but he also likes money.”

Well, that could’ve made you change your mind right away a four years ago, but still, a few hours ago you came to this place counting the seconds to leave, now you were debating if you should accept a job offer. You shook your head, realizing that the line moved far enough, it was Minnie’s turn to leave her coat.

She took a few seconds and then it was your turn. You quickly asked for Yoongi’s jacket and your coat and when you turned around, Minnie was still there, not willing to give up.

“What do I have to do to convince you to at least give me your new number?” She pleaded, looking for something in her mini bag. You observed her pulling a lighter and a joint and putting it between her lips to light it up.

“What are you willing to do?” You joked, or not.

“What do you have in mind?” Well, she knew you.

“I have an idea…” You insinuated, pointing at the joint.

She let out a cloud of smoke out of her mouth, suddenly frowning. “Really?” She said, trying not to sound annoyed, you nodded your head several times, almost excited. “You can’t be asking for the whole joint.”

“But I am.”

Minnie shook her head in denial. “I can let you smoke it once, I’m not giving it to you.” She offered instead, but you wanted to make it worth it. If you were going to even consider accepting the job, if you were going to even think about something like theater again, you wanted at least something in return.

“I’m giving you half my number, then.” You said “Try to guess the other half.”

She narrowed her eyes, hesitating. Your old friend knew that you weren’t joking at all, and for some reason she really wanted you to consider her offer. You knew you won when she rolled her eyes, giving in. “You never stopped being a little bitch, have you?” She hissed, reluctantly handed you the joint. You happily accepted, taking a long drag before it went out. Minnie sighed, sadly watching her perfectly rolled joint in the hands of someone else. “So? Your new number?”

A devilish smirk appeared in your face as you began to walk backwards, taking long steps towards the entrance as you enjoyed the confused expression on Minnie’s face. “I never changed my number.” You confessed.

Minnie’s mouth hung open in disbelief, but she made sure that the last thing you saw from her that night was her middle finger up, directed towards you.

It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia, to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones, but it was impossible not to. Instead, you were condemned to live wondering what it would be like to come back home someday and not feel this way, to come to The Alley and not feel like you left a part of you there, to look at Yoongi and not feel like you were going to miss him all your life.

And tonight wasn’t an exception, because when you came back to Yoongi and he offered what seemed to be the warmest smile in the coldest of winters, you knew it might haunt you forever.

But maybe, just for tonight, you didn’t care.

“Why are you making that face?” Yoongi asked, raising a brow as he grabbed his jacket from your hands.

“What face?” You asked back, innocently keeping your hands behind your back.

He opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but then shut it again, staying silent for a minute as he inspected your face. “Did you just… smoke weed?” He laughed, probably already smelling it.

A smile appeared on your face as you showed him your right hand. Yoongi observed the joint between your thumb and index finger, and wondering where you got that, he tried to take it from your hands.

You took a step back, moving your arm away from him so he wouldn’t steal it. “What? Is this not legal?” You chuckled.

“Who gave you that?” He asked, grabbing your wrist, but you raised your arm higher.

“Are you interrogating me?” You kept teasing him, fighting his hold. “I’m sorry Mr. Min, but I’m not a snitch.”

Yoongi let go of your wrist, quickly giving up. “Are you not sharing?” He asked, a little disappointed.

“I don’t know.” You pointed your finger at your chin, pretending to think about it “Are you allowed?”

You walked past him, heading towards the entrance to exit the place. “You’re so annoying.” You heard him say, already knowing he was following you.

Both of you knew that the night was coming to an end, as soon as you stepped foot on the street you could smell the dew on the grass and hear how loud were your footsteps on the empty street. You looked at him through your lashes, observing him lighting up the joint between your lips as with a lighter he found in his pockets. You held the smoke inside your mouth for a few seconds before blowing it on his face, but he just laughed, stealing from your lips.

You wondered what else you could do to make him stay a bit longer.

He crossed the desolate street, grabbing your hand to drag you into the poorly illuminated park. It was really cold and you could see your cold breath in the air. Everyone else in the world seemed to agree that it was time to sleep, but you didn’t dare to complain as he decided to take the long way home.

“How do you know when you’re high?” He curiously asked, eyes locking up with yours as he took another draw.

It was easy for you to tell, you could get high with only one puff. “I have this thing, I test if my teeth are heavy.” You told him, expecting him to understand right away.

He laughed, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Look, if you clench your jaw you can tell that your teeth touch each other.” You explained. Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, standing in front of you to test it himself. “I know that I’m high when my top teeth are feeling heavy.”

Yoongi snorted, keeping his mouth closed to test it himself. “I don’t know if mine are heavy.” He said “Are yours?”

You already knew you’re high, but you tested it regardless. Closing your mouth, you pressed your teeth together to know “Yes, they are.” You laughed, feeling dizzy. “How do you know?”

It wasn’t the first time you saw Yoongi high, you remembered that time, you were woken up at three in the morning when your brother dragged him into your house after their graduation party because he smoked too much, and Yoongi’s mom couldn’t find out that her son almost died because he didn't know how to use a bong.

It was the first time that he made Simon look like the responsible friend. Yoongi was seeing shadows before leaving the party and when he arrived at your home was calmer, but still high. He was strangely afraid of going upstairs, so the three of you stayed in the living room watching very low quality episodes of Pinky and The Brain on YouTube. Simon let you stay under the condition of not telling your mom about Yoongi having a bad trip, so you did. The memory of Yoongi laughing at the screen and eating the cake your mom bought to celebrate was still very engraved in your mind.

This version was very different. Yoongi’s hooded eyes were crystallized and there was an awkward smile plastered on his face that wasn’t going away. You could tell he was high in the way he was walking, and especially in the way he was still holding your hand.

The silence lingered in the air for a second. He pressed his lips together, scanning your face. “I know I’m high when it’s hard for me to tell if I’m looking at one thing or the whole picture.” He tried to explain “Like, I can’t focus on more than one thing at once.”

Somehow, you understood. “What are you looking at right now?”

In that moment, Yoongi seemed to be asking himself that very same question in his head, but he already knew the answer.

“Your mouth.” He replied innocently.

Someone in the very back of your mind started to wave a big red flag, but on the surface, where an intoxicated version of yourself was laying under the moonlight, you could only laugh.

“Isn’t it a bit distracting?” You asked him, pulling him forward so he would start walking towards the exit of the park.

“Yes, very.” he guaranteed “But I don’t mind.”

Yoongi followed you out of the park, and in a team of two you remembered the way to your home. It was like both of your brains had turned off, the conversation didn’t have to mean anything, you didn’t have to wonder why he was there with you at all.

The clock on your phone said that it was three in the morning, but in your mind time had stopped forever, or at least until next morning. When you turned the corner and reached the end of the street, you knew it was time to say goodbye. But what if you didn’t want to?

You struggled to find your keys, maybe because you were high or maybe because you just didn’t want to remember where the keys were. And when you had to open the door, you leaned against the door frame to say your last words.

You looked at him with hooded eyes, his pink lips were slightly parted, like they were about to say something but they didn’t. In the haze of the moment you thought it looked just like an invitation to kiss him, but of course you wouldn’t. Of course you couldn’t.

What you could do, instead, was prevent him from leaving, at least for a while. Was that allowed? You weren’t in your right mind to answer that question.

You sighed, sleepy, touching the collar of his shirt. “I can’t let you go home like this.” You let out, faster than you could think.

Yoongi scrunched his nose. “It’s fine, it’s just a few blocks away.” He waved off your concern, but his feet were dug deeply on the wood floor of your porch.

“It’s not a few blocks away.” You argued “You live like ten blocks away, and you’re still high…”

“I can manage.” He smirked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear like it was nothing.

“C’mon, you can stay.” You offered. “My bed is big enough for both of us.”

Your voice came as a whisper, but your words are clearly heard by Yoongi. He scoffed, causing you to start laughing “I didn’t mean that.” You blurted out. trying to correct yourself, but he was already laughing at you.

“What did you mean?” He was curious.

You lightly punched his shoulder. “I meant that… You can stay.” You repeated “Besides… There’s still Simon’s old clothes you can wear to sleep.”

He raised his eyebrows, getting closer to your face, or not, you weren’t sure.

“What would your mom say?” He mumbled, still in denial.

“What?” You chuckled “I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll just say you were too drunk to come back home.”

“That’s not the truth.” He said, booping your nose, but you could barely feel the coldness of his touch.

“Do I really have to tell her that we were high?” You wondered, booping his nose back.

Yoongi smiled, knowing you were right. “I guess not.” He admitted.

“So?” You dared to insist.

“I’ll stay…” He said, putting a finger up. “Under one condition…”

“You want me to tuck you in bed?” You said, laughing at your own joke like it was the funniest thing you had ever said.

Yoongi snorted, covering your mouth with his hand so you wouldn’t keep making loud noises. “No, not that.” He shook his head. “You have to make me breakfast.”

You bit the palm of his hand, making him pull away with a groan. “Is that what your life is worth?” You teased “Breakfast?”

“I’m not gonna die walking ten blocks.”

“What if you enter a bad trip?” You joked “The streets are scary when it’s dark.”

“C’mon, don’t talk about bad trips.” He closed his eyes shut, like he was trying to picture flowers and kittens so he wouldn’t think of something bad.

“God, Yoongi. Are you staying or not?”

He sighed, opening his eyes to display his characteristic gummy smile. “Fine Pinky.” He gave in, “Show me how big your bed is.”

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