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hollyhomburg · 2 months

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Before I leave you (Pt.67)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: You and Hobi bury a dead body (That's a lie, Yoongi buries it for you).

Tags: blood, gore, body horror, death, dead bodies, everyone is pretty beat-up in this, brief implied self-harm but it's very quickly squashed- seriously it's nowhere near as bad as past scenes but i do have to tag it, Dissociation, tae is in the freeze part of fight or flight. hurt/comfort, mental breakdowns, flashbacks, discussions of past abusive relationships, everything is very fluffy until it's not,

W/c: 12.5k

A/N: Are you guys ready for Hoseok's secret reveal??? I'm really excited!!! But also terrified because this whole series has lead up to this point!!! A good number of people have already guessed his secret so congrats on getting it early <3

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

Jimin sits on the stairs going down to the basement. His arm in a sling and bandaged up to the elbow. It aches with every small movement he makes as he peals a tangerine. He hasn't had any narcotics in a few hours and they're starting to wear off.

Jimin needs all of his brain power for this; For covering up the murder.

The fewer things running through his system the less sluggish and fuzzy his thoughts are. Jimin picks his poisons and fewer things make him less coherent than the panic and pain and near constant avalanche of thoughts. Tae, Tae's hurt, Tae's-

Tae's fine, Tae's upstairs with Y/n. he has to remind himself of these facts every few breaths. Tae's going to be okay because you wouldn't let anything happen to her.

There is evidence of that virtually everywhere; In the lines across your hands that Yoongi had dabbed at with a cool cloth, the swollen side of your jaw that he'd cradled. The blood drenching the opposite side of your face that he'd tenderly washed away. Not to mention the blood on the kitchen table, the floor, the ceiling. The blood splattered across your nest-

You don't fuck with an omega's nest; you don't fuck with their packmates.

Jimin quiets his brain with a steady breath as he looks down at Yoongi, Jin, and the body between the three of them wrapped in plastic.

He manages to peel the tangerine in his hand despite how uncooperative his left hand is. Numb at the fingertips just like it’s been since the surgery.

Namjoon had stroked his fingers and tested their give every chance he got, holding onto them and prodding while they waited in the hospital room and then again when Jimin got discharged. He said that they’d probably get better. Probably.

Tae's going to be fine because Namjoon is there too- had checked out her head with that soft alpha grumble croon of his. The most soothing sound in the world, and yet incapable of soothing this.

But Jimin knows nothing’s for certain, he might never get the feeling in his hand back. (This is Jimin's penance; The reminder of these tangled few weeks and how things went will be ever present. The reminder will be the first press of every touch with his non-dominant hand. He will never regain full feeling to the tips of his fingers. Never).

There are a few of noodle paw prints in the dust here, Jimin's ass is no doubt covered in it too from resting on the rickety stairs that lead into the half-finished basement. Little paw print marks that would make you coo and take pictures if you were down here.

But you’re not, you’re upstairs getting the evidence washed off of you.

No one's in that kind of mood right now anyway. No one’s been in that kind of mood for a few hours (or a few days, if he’s being honest, from Jungkook’s seizure, to getting shot, and then coming home to a dead body in their living room).

It’s been 4 hours since you killed someone in the kitchen. 3 hours since Jimin was discharged prematurely from the hospital and the rest of the pack was summoned home via a disturbingly calm call from Jin.

It’s been a tangle of moments even for the people not on hard drugs. Jimin feels like he's doing pretty good at answering the pack’s questions given the circumstances. You'd never know that, given Yoongi's eye roll and Jin's heavy sigh.

"Minnie- we're not asking you how you would have killed him just how you'd cover it up."

They used an old shower liner to wrap the body before they carried it downstairs. It makes a squeaky noise against Jin's rubber gloves (The pink elbow-high ones that he uses to do the dishes) as he pulls back the plastic sheet to reveal what's left of the assassin's head and face.

“I already told you, I don’t know his face- not even a little.” I’d have a pretty hard time identifying his face with the state she left it in regardless Is what he doesn't say.

Jimin tucks his chin, unsettled to look at the man's half-blown apart face for long. "I think he might be the spider but I don’t know. I never met him, only heard his name in passing.”

A small tattoo on the man's wrist reveals as much. A small spider tattoo that someone going to have to cut out and bury separately. Someone's going to have to get all of his teeth too- no identifying marks. None.

He’s a little too impressed with the state you’d left him in when he thinks about it. But once he’d seen your face and Hobi’s neck, not an inch of Jimin had felt the kill wasn’t justified. The whole pack feels that way, he knows they must even though they don't say it. Everyone's a little bit in shock right now.

Even Namjoon hadn’t even given the body a second glance when the pack had tumbled into the house. The pack alpha had simply alternated his fussing from you to Hobi to tae and then Jin. Torn between who needed him first. It was the first words Jimin had heard you speak. Your wet gasp, blood that wasn't yours flashing on your teeth. "Joonie- Hobi needs you."

Namjoon had calmed only once he realized that most of the blood on the three of you was the man’s. Yoongi had a similar reaction and so had Jimin, clutching at Tae. Angry at his arm for its uncooperativeness. About ready to tug off his sling and his bandages and stitches if it meant holding tae easier. He'd even tried it, only to be on the receiving end of a disapproving pack alpha growel too.

“Jimin you can’t; your stitches.”

“Fuck my stitches hyung.”

Numb fingers meet numb faces.

He's a bit ashamed of it, but when he first looked up from Tae to you- where you sat crumpled in Yoongi's hold. Your mate laying down a volley of sweet nothings to you to get you to stop shaking. There was only one sentence running through his head.

That’s my girl.

He'd reached over and squeezed your hand, blood and all. That blood has dried now. Soaked into the lines of his palm. Coloring his fate and love lines all rusty while he eats the tangerine. He should probably wash his hands. All of them probably need too.

Jungkook had been the only one willing to speak, closing the door softly behind him, locking it and treading softly closer. Careful to sidestep both the pools of blood and the piece of a skull sitting next to the couch. He looked down at the 7 of you with a surprisingly calm expression on his face.

"Can't we have one normal fucking day?"

Jungkook was the one who’d gone to the kitchen and gotten one of the hand towels to clean your face. His lips tightened to a line when he wiped away the blood and started to see the bruising, the cut across your temple dripping fresh. Lower lip wobbling ever so slightly.

“Kookie-”

Jungkook had turned to Jin and Namjoon, “I don’t want to deal with the body hyung." His hands were already under your arms, lifting you up, helpless. "Help me get them upstairs. We need to-” he’d let out a frustrated noise. Instincts coming to the full front- instincts he rarely feels.

Who knew blood would incur Jungkook's grooming instincts?

The last time Jimin saw Jungkook; He was helping Namjoon and Yoongi herd the three of you upstairs for a much-needed shower. Hobi hadn't been able to do it under his own power. Namjoon had to carry him.

Hobi; who's choked on every word he's tried to speak. Whose eyes are still red from all the burst blood vessels. Who easily got the closest to dying out of the four of you.

Everyone shakes when they touch Hobi and everyone touches him softly. Namjoon just about snaps his teeth at anyone who tries to get close. His hands turning red from the cold of an ice pack wrapped gently around the alpha's throat.

Jimin knows Jungkook's a lot more unnerved than he lets on, shuffling from foot to foot as he bound Tae up with a towel, taking her delicately from Jimin's arms. Carrying her in the same way Namjoon carried Hobi.

Yoongi was all soft helping you upstairs. Speaking in that quiet voice that he saves for Sunday mornings and stolen moments of quiet. Every moment, all of this is stolen.

And now- the beta is down here, leaning over the body and looking at it like it will tell him something that you won't. After your initial demand that Namjoon he tend to Hobi; you haven't spoken a word. Neither has Tae. Jin's done all of the talking.

There isn’t much to say.

Jimin feels the numbness in his hands and looks at Jin. He hasn't apologized for the bullet yet. But the more time that passes the less Jimin wants an apology. Mating marks come in many forms. Jimin has a scar on his body from one of his omega's- so really? What does he have to be upset about?

The whole house needs to be deep cleaned, and then deep cleaned again. There's blood everywhere; on the couch, the ceiling, the curtains. It's a lot to clean. It's going to be a lot to hide.

That's the only reason why Jimin's not upstairs helping you and Tae clean up right now; the body is unfortunately the biggest threat to the pack's safety at the moment.

There’s a bloodstain on the stairs too, a droplet next to where Jimin sits. he makes a mental note of it but doesn't move to wipe it up. He puts a tangerine slice on his tongue and chews before he answers Yoongi’s next question.

“I don’t know how to dispose of a body, I never dealt with this part. My only job was to kill, not take care of them after. I know there’s a way that you can do it with soap.”

Jin snorts, “You only know that from breaking bad-“

Jimin’s a little miffed, “We already have a plastic tub upstairs-”

“Lye,” Yoongi corrects, looking down at the body before he stoops to retape the plastic over the man's face. It was a bitch to wrap him up, the body stiff and heavy from rigor Mortis. The blood beneath it bubbles and darkens, coagulating. Yoongi's long hair falls over his face and he tucks it behind his ear.

“We could use the soap, but it might take a few days.” Jin clarifies.

“Do you think we can wait that long?”

“Absolutely not,” Jin’s got a similar ice pack to his wrists, the skin there bruised and red and swelling where he fought to get free from the handcuffs, where he eventually ripped down the banisters and broke through them with brute strength and panic.

You’d found the keys on the man’s body soon after and released him from the handcuffs, they're wrapped up in the plastic along with the frying pan, the gun that killed him, and a few other items from the living room that were just too bloodstained, every big piece of evidence will lie right beside him where he rests.

Jimin eats another slice of the tangerine, and Jin shrivels his nose at it. “Isn’t that a little gross?”

Yoongi mirrors his disgust. “Yeah Minnie, weren’t those covered in blood?”

But Jimin just shrugs, “I washed it and peeled it hyung” And keeps eating. After a few days of hospital food, the tangerines taste divine.

Yoongi stands from where he’s kneeling on his knees with a faint crack. “One part kitty litter, two parts concrete should keep out the smell,” Jin says, eyeing the 6 by-six-foot hole in the basement's foundation, already there from the plumbing that needed replacing.

Most of Yoongi's tools are down here too. His scrap pile of wood and the dozen bags of concrete. His hack saw and his circular saw that none of them are looking at. Yoongi had only just fit in the plumbing a few weeks ago. He'd been about to re-pour the foundation anyway.

“I’d rather not have a body buried in our house.”

Yoongi touches Jin’s wrist, so feather-light, removing the ice pack to check the swelling to see if it’s gone down. Jin's left hand is just as useless as Jimin's, the knuckles bruised and ballooned.

“It’s just for a few weeks, we can deal with this once it’s all calmed down, but we absolutely can’t go try and bury it. Who knows what the neighbors heard?”

They're all silent at that, silent at the idea that these few hours might be the last few that the pack spends free.

But over the next few hours, there are no blue and red flashing lights outside or concerned neighbors that come knocking. Your one saving grace is that this all happened during the middle of the day and all of your nearest neighbors have nine to five's. Is it so simple to hope that everyone was just at work? That no one heard the gunshots over the nearby roar of the passing train?

(Maybe they're just too used to the pack next door; the one that has the noisy ruts and noisy noisy packmates. The one whose alphas have a habit of opening the windows in the back room and let the sound of their roughhousing and video games flood the street. The ones who have extra loud movie nights. They're just a bunch of kids, how harmful could they really be? At least the pack alpha and omega look respectable.)

It's a good thing that no one comes; because Namjoon has more important problems, more important things to handle beyond the body in the basement or the police at the door.

Namjoon’s hands cradle Hobi’s neck. He wheeze as he tries to speak, his mouth falling open. He's mostly clean, but a rusty trickle of water from his hair trails down his shoulders.

Jungkook tugged him into the shower first and gave him a rough clean before handing him back to Namjoon. They sit on a towel together on the edge of the nest. they only moved him in here to give him some privacy- to distract him because Hobi kept reaching for you. you'd kept reaching back, tae was already in the shower under the stream.

"Pup- your hands- you're going to hurt yourself."

The Nestroom is dark and quiet. Every single blind in the house is draw. Only the christmas lights illuminate Hobi's injuries. Namjoon will tend to Tae and then you after he's checked out Hobi's injuries. will send him downstairs with Jin for some cold water to soothe his throat once he's done. once he's been cleaned again probably.

Hobi was covered with the most blood, having been just under the man when Tae had blown his throat apart while you- Namjoon doesn't want to think of it, doesn't want to see it.

(Namjoon thinks of every moment, sees them behind every blink. Blink and he sees you sitting in his lap over breakfast squirming happily. Blink and you're kneeling in a bloody puddle looking up at him.

Blink and you're curled up in the nest wearing the first pajama pants he'd given you. Blink and he's watching Jungkook dab at your bloody cheek, blink and you're turning into his hand to nuzzle as he wakes you for sunday morning breakfast. Blink and there’s sunlight spilling across your face and blood slipping down your chin. Namjoon's smallest and most sensitive pup not so innocent anymore.)

Namjoon touches Hobi's throat with no small amount of reverence. it cools the anger in his throat. Namjoon's anger has no good place to go.

When Hobi closes his eyes, he sees it too; the explosion of the bullet and the splat of blood pouring down his face. The shower earlier felt so similar- he almost couldn't handle it. He had to concentrate on Jungkook's voice narrating everything.

"Here Hobi, I'm gonna use some soap now. I like Tae's body wash. You know she always just picks whatever bottles are pinkest because she wants all her toiletries to match. It smells good, doesn't it? Can you take a deep breath for me? Through your nose?"

Endless meaningless Jibber jabber to distract all of them.

Now he shivers and shakes in Namjoon's hold. One part terror and one part near frostbite. Namjoon turns the heat up but Hobi still shakes as Namjoon checks his throat. "Open for me baby- that's a good boy."

He flashes a light down there, listening with his stethoscope. The cold metal end of it presses against his collarbones and the bruises too. Finger-shaped that lace over his jugular like a collar. Over Hobi's heart. Every thump ba-thump ba-thump music to Namjoon's ears.

Namjoon’s growl is soothing as he scoots closer to gather the injured alpha close to his chest. Shushing Hobi as he tries to speak for the dozenth time in the last hour. “Don’t try it, careful- I don’t think he did any lasting damage but-”

Namjoon breaks and his forehead drops to Hoseok’s shoulder, fingers rub out soothing circles on Hobi's wrist even as he starts to cry. Namjoon already stitched up the deep puncture wound there. He had to hold his wrist still as he dabbed the stingy antiseptic, the impulse to pull it away too great. The wound wasn't from a bullet but from the piece of the door that embedded itself in Hobi’s wrist. Blown apart the way he could have been.

Namjoon was so close to losing everything, to losing them.

The bruises, Hobi’s eyes, and his little raspy breaths. Everything both punishment and payment for every violent thing Namjoon wants to do. He feels powerless to do more than hold the smaller alpha right now. The strength in his arms doing little to protect Hobi from the hurts he's already nursing. Hoseok leans his head on Namjoon's shoulder and Just lets the alpha hold him.

If he’d come home to the four of you dead what would he have done? more accurately- What wouldn’t he have done?

Namjoon imagines it- the same way he's imagined it thousands of times. Tae's blood on her lips as pretty as any lip stain. Jin on the floor, his little big love wrapped up in permanent stillness like a mating shroud. Your body turned small and quiet the way you'd been when he'd met you- only so much worse. Hobi with his heart slow and absent of his near-constant music. Bodies stiff as statues, turned alters meant to worship both grief and love.

He’d probably have demanded Jimin and Yoongi tell him everything they knew. And then he’d have gone hunting.

Namjoon lets out a shaky breath and pulls away from Hoseok only to continue dabbing at his wounds. The violence of his alpha's instincts calmed by the sanctity of this- of making it better. of being gentle even when namjoon wants to be anything but.

Hoseok’s mute. Throat too swollen to make more than a soft hissing sound on command. Vocal cords not damaged just swollen. Leaving his brain to hurdle through the last few hours. Eyes closed but his mind wide open.

He sees it all behind his eyes; your hand descending with the frying pan, the explosion of wood near his head. The splat of hot blood against the wood floor. Gasping and getting blood in his mouth accidentally. Choking in it- drowning a little. Everything. The sting of smoke on his eyes. Your words ring in his ears like the final notes of a symphony.

“You can take me. I’ll go with you. Willingly. That’s what she wants isn’t it?”

Hoseok’s brain teases through what you might have meant with that. The unnamed she that you mention. Who, why, and what aren’t you telling them? Is it the woman that Yoongi talked to you about before?

He's unable to say anything to Namjoon even as the alpha softy cradles his damaged throat. Unable to even whisper it out through the swelling that threatens to cut off Hobi's airway. It feels like he's breathing through a straw. Namjoon says he's not going to choke, that it only feels that way. The panic is hard to let go of.

But who do you have to go back to there? You've never talked about the family like you wanted them, like they were your pack. Who have you run from? What monsters are here to haunt you? Who is after you? Or is it something darker- more sinister?

Maybe Hoseok's heart has never truly healed from Yoongi leaving them. Maybe a wounded heart remembers. Yoongi always had them to go back to that Hoseok had never questioned. But he's never wondered about you or stopped to consider that maybe, Yoongi's not the only one who left something.

The family doesn't exactly seem like something you can walk away from unscathed. Yoongi managed it, but Jimin didn't.

Hoseok should warn Namjoon, should tell someone but- it's impossible. His airway protesting with an agonizing twinge with every attempt he makes at speaking. He wonders if this is what being nonverbal felt like for you.

The pain pulses dully without adrenaline to dilute it as Namjoon so lovingly examines the marks, again and again. But he shouldn't be spending so much time. You and Tae are bruised and battered too- even if Hoseok’s are by far the worst; you need tending to.

Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival.

Hoseok thinks of the body, not the one that sits downstairs, but the one that you found months ago in the ocean. Maybe this wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe none of this was. How far back do the coincidences go? Between Jin and Yoongi who wouldn't have a relationship to stand on without Yoongi's family- how many other things in the pack are because of this?

Hoseok struggles to speak, to talk to Namjoon about what you'd almost done, what you'd almost bartered- but nothing but air comes out, and the pack alpha shushes him. His hands grip Namjoon's shoulders hard.

Namjoon wishes he had more than just numbing cream and sutures for Hobi’s hurts. Jimin’s already offered up some of his opioids for Hobi to sleep and as much as Namjoon hates the idea of anyone swapping medication- Hobi might actually need them.

Jimin’s doctor had been a little bit liberal with them, sure that his 6 on the pain scale had to be at least a 9. He could spare one or two. The truth is that nothing hurts more than this- seeing the people that you love in pain. Jimin and Namjoon save their 10s for days like this.

With the blood cooling, Namjoon’s anger has nowhere to go. The body in the basement has already gone cold.

In the quiet of the house they can audibly hear Seokjin and Yoongi start mixing the concrete. The dull scrape of a shovel against a bucket and the sound of a faucet dripping.

Namjoon wipes at Hobi’s throat, and Hoseok tries again- futile in his efforts to speak. Namjoon shushes him.

In the basement it goes; drip, scrape, drip.

~-~

Jungkook holds Tae up underneath the warm spray of water. The glass is foggy in places and clear and others, occasional spots of red water joining the constellation of them. She rests against Jungkook's chest, her body is prone and almost lifeless. Eyes vacant and glassy.

So shaky and tired as her body rockets down from its adrenaline high. A drop so abrupt that she could hardly hold herself up. A drop so terrifying that Jungkook must do it for her.

He doesn't mind, none of him minds as he cradles the back of her head oh so gently. Tae flinches, whether from pain or the sudden movement. Jungkook meets Jimin's eyes through the foggy glass and then yours. Biting his lower lip before Jimin nods and tells him to keep going.

Evidence is evidence. Washing off can’t wait.

Jimin has joined you upstairs with the body already packed away and on its way to being buried under the foundation of the house. Jimin watches on from outside the shower as he instructs Jungkook in a quiet voice on how to clean Tae of evidence properly. He's been quiet since then. Staring at them while Tae stares blankly back.

You watch them from where you sit. Mostly you just watch Tae. When Namjoon's body doesn’t block your view. He stitches the gash on your forehead, hands pulling the sutures closed in a gentle and practiced way. The pass of the needle through your skin a distant sensation.

The wounds on your hands are in that awkward place of not being deep enough for stitches but still a little too deep to not need something. After a brief debate, Namjoon sealed them with a bit of non-surgical glue that stung terribly and then regular gauze over the top.

Your hands are swelling and clotting. Scabbing although trying to touch anything is too painful. Closing your fingers at all hurts. Namjoon holds you so lightly it hardly feels like he's holding you at all.

Namjoon apologizes after every wince.

The second he’s done he tosses his suture kit into the bathroom sink with a clang the second he’s done. Namjoon gets on his knees before you. The plastic that covers the whole bathroom crackling as he does.

Jimin had the great idea to cover the bathroom with sheets of plastic to cut down on the cleanup. Hoseok's bloody footprints join Tae's trailing from the doorway to the shower. Join the trail that you left. Parts of you are still dripping.

"It's going to scar," Namjoon says, a little sadly. Thumb skimming over the mark on your forehead.

You swallow hard. You still taste blood. You want to brush your teeth; you want to shut the lights off and go to sleep. You want Noodle and you want Yoongi you want everything from the past few hours- the past few years to be gone and over with. You want-

You want to snap at him and tell him that it doesn't matter that it will scar. That you're covered with scars already and you don't care but-

Namjoon kisses your forehead. A lingering brush. The one spot that's not bloody.

You look over at Tae and her eyes flicker blankly to you. Jungkook keeps bringing the boar bristle brush up and down her back in soothing little circles.

When you turn back to Namjoon he's pursing his lips and blinking away tears as he looks down at your hands. You resist the urge to say you’re sorry. You’re not sure what for. The terrible feral hunger in you gone as quick as it's come.

Namjoon’s fingers wrap around the hollow of your knees, and you meet his eyes, even though you don’t want to. It feels too much like a confession already.

“I’m going to say this now, before you get any ideas; This is not your fault and I am not mad at you and Tae for doing what you did-”

“Namjoon-”

He continues on, words rushing out. “I’m proud of you pup, so proud. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I promise I won’t disappoint you again as pack alpha-” You cover his mouth with your hand, gauze and all.

The bit of gauze over your palm is already turning bloody. It's hard to tell if it's your blood or if it's his. You’re the last one to shower. The last one to get clean. Namjoon shouldn’t be touching you at all.

And yet he does, yet he cradles your face, brushes the tears from your cheeks, gets blood on his hands. Evidence is evidence, but love has a steeper sort of price if you don't express it when you can.

When you take your hand away, Namjoon doesn’t try to speak again. someone says something that you don't hear, that you can't hear.

Namjoon stands and when you look up, Jungkook has the shower door open for you.

Because the bandages and the glue on your hands can’t get wet Namjoon binds your hands with Ziplock bags and duct tape. The plastic rustles, and you follow Hobi's bloody footprints into Jungkook’s arms. Namjoon closes the door behind you.

Every bit of plastic is going to get melted down later, until all the blood and terror evaporates through something as simple and trivial as fire. Fire will cleanse it of all evidence, as sure as the burning water you step under.

You're not quite sure what you're going to do about the bullet holes in the walls or the blown-apart door to the upstairs bedroom, but Yoongi’s always had a handle on the home improvement stuff.

Jungkook helps you disrobe off your bloodied clothing. Lifting your shirt over your head and stooping, telling you to hold onto his shoulders so that he can take off your sweatpants. You're pretty sure they're Yoongi's but there's no time to get sentimental as he puts them inside a garbage bag along with Tae's and Hobi's clothes.

Everything on your person is evidence. When you look back Namjoon's gone, summoned by Jin's distant call from downstairs. It's just Jimin outside of the shower. watching you, but mostly watching Tae.

You’d be more self-conscious of your nude body if your brain wasn’t still racing. It’s hard to do much with the bags on your hands. But Jungkook squirts out a healthy dollop of your favorite shampoo and gets to work once the conditioner is in Tae’s hair. She sits like a discarded ball-jointed doll on the built-in bench. Her long hair hair stuck like a sheet over her eyes.

Nothing is as important as making sure you’re not found out. And the frothy shampoo turns rusty around Jungkook's fingers. You have to have a lot of blood on your face. All the water that rolls off of you goes pink.

Jungkook is gentle even by your hairline scratching against your scalp with his fingers. The skin there is tender. Namjoon taped a bit of gauze over the sutures too. You don't remember when he did that.

You make a noise. “Too rough?” his voice has something unreadable in it, something soft and concerned.

You don't respond because Yoongi makes his reappearance at the doorway. The black shirt he wears is dusty at the front from the concrete. His eyes single focused on you the second he enters the room. You stare at him the way that Tae stares at Jimin. Jungkook just huffs and pulls you a little more snugly against his chest.

Tae stands in the corner of the shower, still staring at Minnie. Minnie who stares back, practically not blinking. Both of their anguish are hidden behind glass. Like fish in tanks that could never get out. Not really.

Part of Tae gets washed away down the drain. Swirling and gurgling down and down with no one to notice.

Tae stares off blankly into space. Sometimes Jimin talks to her and sometimes he hums through the glass, he'd be in there too if his bandages couldn't get wet either. If Namjoon hadn’t yanked him back from the doorway and told him that he couldn't.

Jungkook takes the boar bristle brush to your body too. Everything has to be scrubbed multiple times until your skin feels nearly raw from it. Tae’s fingernails, her arms, your neck, the side of your face, the hollow at the inside of your arms. Your knees. Everywhere.

He apologizes when he goes over bruises, wincing, clutching you a little tighter, a little closer to make up for the pain. But Jungkook is meticulous as he cleans of evidence until you feel groomed clean. Until there’s no more blood swirling down the drain just clear water, and the light outside has turned pearly and blue in the twilight.

Tae's still silent. She's been quiet beyond the occasional heartbreaking whimper since you both killed that man. Eventually, You push at Jungkook's hands with a pointed look in her direction where she's slumped and he goes with a soft nod. Two omega's taking care of their alphas.

Jungkook’s delicate with Tae’s head, gentle in the way he cradles the bruising, half hidden by her hair. Washing out the conditioner with a quiet hum. Namjoon had diagnosed her with a concussion pretty quickly, it's not a crack in her skull plate but she's not going to go putting her hair up in a bun any time soon.

Jungkook alternates from you to Tae. One moment you're standing, the next Jungkook is taking you up gently from the floor and Yoongi is at the glass, hand on the door- looking at you anxiously. Letting out a volley of cursing. You can't remember the last time you heard him use language like that.

"Hyung she's fine- she's just slippery, I've got her."

Their voices are so soft and grave and so quiet. Or is it just that you can’t hear it? Why are their voices so far away and muffled? Sometimes Yoongi is here and sometimes he isn't. Sometimes Jungkook is holding you, talking to Namjoon about something, and other times he and Yoongi are talking. Keeping their voices low. Your ears ring. It's so loud it deafening.

“Do you need me to take over?” Yoongi asks Jungkook. Jungkook has blood on his feet, from you or Tae you’re not sure, it soaks the hair there. Jungkook’s got hairy fucking feet for an omega- you’re not sure why you’re concentrating on it. Why you’re noticing all these things now. Cataloging little things about them like you might never get the chance to notice them again.

Your heart beats quick, fear still consuming you even though the danger has passed. You look down at the tiled floor and the room spins.

You don’t feel a thing when you close your eyes. You don’t feel anything when you think of the man that you just killed. You don’t feel anything but roaring, like the crashing of the ocean or the sound when you lift your ear to a shell. The hearing in your left ear where the gun went off feels…off, muffled. You put your hand up to toy with it and freeze when you realize it isn't right.

"Guys" You paw at your ear. But they don't seem to hear you.

"No, I've got them.”

“We need to clean up the downstairs. Kookie, where do you keep the oxyclean?”

"Guys"

They still don't hear you. Maybe you're not making a sound at all just mouthing the words. Your movement gets Tae's attention and her eyes focus for the first time in hours. Slumped on the bench, her hand grips the tiled edge hard as she tries to stand but can't. Jungkook hands Yoongi something through the steam, the black trash bag full of bloody clothes.

The notice Tae trying to get to you first. she hits the floor with a small thud and tugs her way over to you. You make a noise in your throat- a distressed chirp that makes the alphas flinch. Tae cups your cheek as you dig your finger in, slippery from the plastic- and pull something small and fleshy out of your ear.

It's soft and squishy. A curved piece of pink and white brain matter. A little bloody but bleached from the water.

You try to stand to your feet but teeter, shaking, staring down at the chunk of person that you just got out of you, that was just in you.

For a second, no one says anything, but then-

“That’s so fucking gnarly.” Your head jerks up in Jungkook’s direction.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Tae actually does look a little green, but it's good to hear her voice at the very least. She hauls herself over to the drain and starts to dry heave.

"Oh tae don't-" the sound of vomit hitting the floor joins the sound of the shower. You don't look at her. just at the lump of person in your hand.

"Someone please take it from me," Jimin is already there opening the glass door and holding out a cloth for you to place it in.

Yoongi presses his hands to the glass as he watches you struggle to grab the brush that Jungkook was using on you from the floor after finally getting your feet under you. Jungkook is torn, his hand on Tae's shoulder as she wretches turning from her to you like he doesn't know what to do or who to help first.

You don't care about the state of your hands you just need to get clean. You Ignore the twinge of pain in your hands as you try and get the bottle of body wash open. Ripping off the plastic bags that cover your hands when you can't unclick the cap immediately. frustrated and panicking. You ignore Jimin calling your name. The gauze falls to the floor with a wet thwack and you take the boar bristle brush to your hands. Cuts and all.

Big hands stop you. Hands that dwarf yours. Hands that you'd know blind.

Yoongi's standing under the spray fully clothed, the water pinning down his hair and quickly soaking him. His hands tangling with yours, taking the brush from you. Wordless as he grabs your wrists and jerks you forward hard.

He holds on until you stop shaking. resting against his chest. guiding your face to his scent gland. "Take a deep breath for me now sweetheart- there you go- just like that."

Jungkook doesn't say anything and neither does Jimin, not as Yoongi starts to wash you again. Jungkook just stoops to lift Tae and place her back on the bench. She goes easy, limp, and doll-like. But she's almost done- she's almost clean. Tae pushes at Jungkook’s shoulders.

"I’m fine. I need to wait for the nausea to pass before I try getting out of here.”

With you, it's going to take a little longer.

Jungkook has already shampooed your hair, but he does it again. The telltale signs of rusty red in the peach-scented shampoo. Bubbling orange-pink. Yoongi does it slower, gentler- it feels more normal. Like the slow loving you're used to.

“Do you ever feel like-” your voice is a little crackly from all the screaming you did earlier. You hate how the terror makes you not remember all the details. Did you make any sound while you killed him? Did you say anything through the rage?

The others are looking at you but you have eyes for just Jimin. his hand tightens to fists, knuckles pressed against the glass. eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Do you ever not feel guilty? About killing people Minnie?”

You are nude, as bare as you’ve ever been before him, it's hard to be self-conscious about it. Maybe this would be a little sexier- showering with Tae and Jungkook and Yoongi with an audience if you weren't literally trying to cover up a very violent murder.

You remember the words Jimin had said to you weeks ago now. “Would you kill for me?” “I’d do worse” you wonder if this qualifies as worse. You can’t imagine what would be much worse than this.

Jungkook's hands are rough as they massage a bit of soap down your back but instead of being comforting, it feels like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin.

Jimin hums. Eyeing Tae still sprawled on the built-in bench. Jimin gathers his thoughts before he speaks. “In my contract, at the beginning-” He starts but cuts off as you start to slip. Jungkook's hands find you, helping Yoongi hold you up more properly. Your mate doesn't let Jungkook take you entirely just moves a bit to the side to give him space. Any other day you'd love to be in the middle of a yoonkook sandwich but-

“Your contract?” he nods, blond hair bobbing. Yoongi meticulously removes the dried blood from under your fingernails, careful to hold your glue sutures out of the direct spray.

“I specified that I’d only ever kill bad people. of course I got a little lazier after I got used to it." He shoots an anxious glance in Tae's direction, but she's still just sitting. "But at the beginning, I’d go back and look through their files to try to find out what they’d done to warrant a hit getting taken out on them. I couldn’t always find a reason but most of the time I did."

You can see it in his face, that Jimin doesn't want to say that they deserved it. Because if they deserved a violent ending then you could say the same about the 8 of you. Jungkook's hands get a little close to the nape of your neck and you turn to him and snap.

"Don't scruff me."

"Sorry." You need it. Is what he doesn't say.

“Most of the time it was worth it?” You cling to his words. With Geumjae you’d never had to guess if he deserved it or not but this-

Jimin’s eyebrows are brought into a hard line, “Karma is a fickle thing. Sometimes it never comes but-” his eyes are downcast, "Sometimes it's a good thing, being the karma."

You sit quietly, digesting his words. Your lower lip trembles, and you don’t know if you feel terrible or better when the tears just won’t come. Yoongi delicately cradles your body, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and pulling you back against his chest.

“Yoongi.”

“Let me hold you for a minute.” You do, body sagging under the weight of your exhaustion.

Tae teeters in Jungkook’s hold, but she pushes against his hands weakly when he tries to make her stand again. Her voice sounds warbly and fragile when she shakes her head. “I’m still dizzy.”

He tries to guide her gently back to the bench, but she doesn't make it that far. Pushing away his hands when she descends to the marble floor. Closer to the wall, Closer to Minnie who mirrors her, falling to the floor too. Getting as closer to her as he can without being in the shower.

Jimin lets out a sad and bitter-sounding laugh and Tae smiles in reply while Jungkook and Yoongi share an anxious glance over your head.

He's still grinning, words twisting, eyes shining with sorrow and fondness. “You couldn’t wait 24 hours until you had to make it even, didn’t you?”

Tae closes her eyes as her smile twists and she starts to cry “Where you go, I go. We’re the same now Minnie.” Jimin doesn't mean to ask what she means. He knows.

If you're a killer I'm a killer. If you're damned, I'm damned. Even though neither of them believes in God or heaven or damnation. Not really. Not anymore. It's very half-hearted.

(I don't know if it's worth wondering if the people you love are bad people, I think when worse comes to worse, you just put the heaviness down and keep on loving them anyway).

Jimin’s eyes are soft on her, the way that they only ever are with Tae. He places his hand on the glass fogging around his fingertips. She doesn’t match his hands, just leans her cheek against it. Love is only a thin layer of glass away.

You know it hurts her a little bit, must make the dysphoria a little harder to breathe through, to let Jimin and Jungkook see her like this; just the long hair and nothing delicate to cloth her soul in. A soul that now you’ve irreparably tarnished.

A soul that is damaged beyond repair now thanks to you.

It is your fault. All of this is because of you. all of this pain and anguish and damage is because of the choices you've made. the stupid idiotic childish choices. If you'd never needed it- if you'd just been strong enough- Tae could have been whole. Tae could have been unharmed. Hobi and Jin too- if you’d just-

Back at the hospital, Tae had so many questions about Jimin’s job, so many questions about when and where, and why. But she finds her head empty of them in the aftermath. She has no desire to learn anything else about Jimin’s job. Not now that she knows what killing feels like.

Tae is never going to be able to look at red nail polish the same way again.

Jungkook reaches over and turns off the water.

~-~

Eventually, you finish washing. Wrapped up in fluffy white towels that will have to be burned too. The house smells like bleach and gunpowder. It covers everything.

Even the noodle is looking a little more grubby than usual when he zips by, meowing for someone to give him attention. You hear the saw going and you know that Yoongi is cutting the bullet holes out of the walls while the others clean up the blood.

Your skin feels pink and sensitive were the towel brushes as you go looking for pajamas, you'll get some for the others too. Later, Jin will fuss and ask to put some cream on you. Will massage it in something of an apology and pretend that Yoongi isn't going over the whole house with a blacklight to spot any errant blood splatters.

Later Yoongi will take a wood scraper to the floorboards where the man died, will rip them up, and burn them in the house's ancient fireplace just to be sure that no one finds any evidence.

You'll all pretend that Tae doesn't shake through a panic attack when you have an informal dinner in the nest. jin's rule of "no food in the nest" broken for this. You'll all pretend that Hoseok won't choke choking on all but the smallest sips of water. You'll all pretend. You're good pretenders, good liars too.

Later, Jin will put cream on your skin and dot it all with kisses, the swelling in his hands won't take too long to go down. You'll get the love and You won’t deserve a single second of it.

You don't know how you fooled yourself into thinking you ever deserved it. The last 8 months have been stolen. Not earned.

The one-year anniversary of Geumjae's death comes and passes as you go to the top of the stairs in your towel, Ears straining to hear what's going on downstairs.

There is a lot of talking going on downstairs, between Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jin. About what to do, and how to handle this. Hushed voices kept mostly out of earshot. And other more dangerous questions get asked, with equally as dangerous answers.

One of Jimin's guns sits on the kitchen counter through all of it. No one moves to put it away. They're not sure when they're next going to need it and they'd rather not get caught off guard again.

“I could talk to some people- call them. Some people owe me favors, There has to be some section of the family that doesn’t want her too-“

"Absolutely Not, I am not having you get into some weird ass mafia debt"

"Yeah, jailcell orange is so not your color hyung"

“We stay quiet. For the next 48 hours- it’s likely no one will know what happened. They’re too hurt- we need some time to regroup and think.”

Hobi’s voice is absent from the fray. You hear something quite like he's trying to speak, and someone shushing him softly. Namjoon says that his swelling won’t go down enough to talk until tomorrow. You hear the sound of someone opening the refrigerator to get ice.

The door to the bedroom has been blown apart, and a flurry of bullet holes chewed through the top corner. It sits off its hinges and in two pieces.

You remember watching Yoongi paint the door, sitting at the bottom of the stairs while he worked at the top of it and painted it to match the wallpaper in the staircase, a dark cobalt blue. You remember all of it, every little thing you watched him do to make this house into something worthwhile. To make it into a home and now it's riddled with bullet holes and stained with blood.

It's funny, you hardly remember every little thing he did for you, to make you worthwhile.

You have always been a reminder that you don't make houses out of abandoned buildings, and mates out of monsters that bite.

The water has turned the cuts on your hands white and gummy when you look down at them in the closet room. They’re already oozing, not bleeding, it will be at least a day or two until you can touch anything without discomfort. Namjoon will scold you ever so gently later and re-do your bandages.

The pink curtains are drawn already to keep out any wandering eyes from the outside. This is a dressing room after all. The whole room feels like a blush-toned jewel box and you, the one piece of cheap costume jewelry at the center.

You get up and shut the door before you sit on a small poof- something silky and tufted that Jimin had gotten Tae right after she'd come out.

You sit in your towel and look down at your wounds. Thinking about Tae's concussion. Jin's wrists. Hobi's throat. Both of their blank looks and the violence of death and trying to live. You think it all through, every possible ending to this before you pick up your phone and dial Her number.

Moonbyul picks up on the first ring. It’s like she’s been waiting for your call.

“Did you like your courting present pup?”

Your throat is dry and you don’t know exactly what to say, even less how to say it. She hums at your silence, an alpha's imitation of a purr. Waiting until your quietness builds to a frantic pulse.

In the pack, you've always been the one with the best survival instincts. Geumjae made you this way. Although the pack has spent the last few months trying to heal you; deep down you know you've never been anything more than a scared animal. Fight or Flight. Freeze or fawn.

Bullet to bullet. Tooth to tooth. Heartbeat to heartbeat. This time is different. This time you have something worth protecting.

You stand, no longer able to sit. There is a noise at the door, and you wait with bated breath for someone to come in. They don't come. But you stand and move farther inside. Hoping that the distance will disguise the sound of your whispered conversation.

She continues when it becomes clear you're struggling to speak. “I’ve got another one on the way. Hyejin’s here, wanna say hello? You’re on speaker.”

“Pup,” she giggles, and you feel like you might vomit. It’s a struggle really, not to end the call right there, not to let the fear overtake you. “We haven’t heard back from Spider yet, and I have a feeling someone’s been a little naughty.”

You lift the curtain to look outside, the train chugs past and the cars flit by like the fast small birds searching for seed in the snow. The whole world is grey and flat. The sky is orange from the lights of the city reflecting the clouds. The trees bare of all but a few crumbly leaves. It’s strange how all at once, the train is all you can look at. All you can think about.

You think about hoseok, the night at the train tracks where he stopped you from leaving. When he asked you to stay.

“Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to do to get you to stop this, please.” Your voice sounds off, even for you. Too flat, strange even to your ears.

“I’m afraid we’re too far along for that.”

"Please, please Moonbyul-" You turn, pacing back towards the door. Past Tae’s clothes, past yours, past Jungkook’s, past the alcove where Hobi hangs his sweatshirts for you. You pause there. Looking at them.

“You said- you said when it was over you’d give me anything I wanted. Well I want them alive. Even if-"

Your voice is so shaky, you're careful to make sure you're not overheard. The pack is in the other room, just downstairs. You can hear the distant hum of their sweet voices; the people you love always sound like a melody. Your absence hasn’t been noticed yet.

"Even if I’m not here.”

For once they’re silent on the other end of the line. It’s a full silence, filled with one part lust and one part hunger. Both of them are like Noodle playing with a mouse. Waiting for the right time to drive their teeth in and end this game.

But even mice have teeth. Your hand is holding your phone so hard that the plastic makes your bones ache and your cuts bleed fresh.

“If you don’t let them live, I'll never stop fighting. But if you want me to be willing- If you want me to be your pup the way I think you do."

You can’t even close your hand into a fist with how wrecked your hands are. They hurt with every clumsy movement. you hold the phone. Your every heartbeat lurching with the horror of what you're doing.

I can’t lose them; I can’t be the reason why they die. They'll keep sending people until we're all dead unless I do something.

“All of them, all of them need to be safe, Jimin- you need to let him go of his contract and let him go back to living a normal life and you need to not punish Jin for working for the FBI.” Your words rush over themselves. "Leave my pack alone and I’ll be obedient. I'll be yours. I’ll never try and go back to them again. I won’t ever try and leave. I promise.”

Moonbyul and Hyejin are silent on the other end of the phone. You wait for a few moments. They must be looking at each other, deliberating.

Everything in this room aches. The closet bedroom that Yoongi made he made for you. The wainscotting just so. Everything in this house was crafted with an equal amount of love.

It was never meant to be yours forever, you’ve been keenly aware of this fact since the moment you met Yoongi. Since the moment you met his eyes across the dining room table and the moment his teeth met your skin. Borrowed things don't belong, they never do. Good things do not last. You only get them for as long as you get them and not a moment longer.

You're looking at Hobi's sweatshirts, in the alcove where he stacks them for you to take when Moonbyul and Hyejin respond.

“We'll agree to those terms, but remember their safety depends on your performance."

"You have 24 hours to get to us pup. Make them count.”

The dial tone drones like a funeral drum.

~-~

(Hoseok, a few years prior)

The backroom at the record shop is cramped with all sorts of things from a bygone era;

A mini fridge with a decrepit desktop computer and logbook balanced atop it. Pictures and bulletins glued to the wall from the 1960's. A greasy coffee machine piled high with bags of expired tea. A cramped spot for employees to hang their coats and a yellowing old table with a pair of chairs; both occupied by people also out of place. a beta that has a thing for 1980's rap and an alpha with a broken heart who admittedly loves 2010's pop.

A poster of some glittery showgirl omega from the 20s bats her eyelashes down at Hoseok as he has a mental breakdown. Offering neither comfort nor absolution nor love.

Maybe if he'd been born an omega like that, it would have been easier. Maybe they'd have wanted him then.

Yoongi's hands rub down Hoseok's shoulder, his back, places only lovers have touched. Up and down. An endless circle. An ouroboros of affection nibbling Hoseok's fickle heart. Hoseok aches harder with every passing moment.

Yoongi looks at the clock as Hoseok continues to sob. The shop should be open right now but Yoongi won't let it. It can go out of business for all he cares. As long as no one makes Hoseok get up from this chair before he's ready.

Beta instincts are fickle things, but Yoongi has always had a third sense. Something in him always knows if people are trustworthy and if they need him. Something in their scents or faces or eyes- like small planets reflecting the cosmos back to them. Do planets bear life only when someone is willing to look for them? Do people only deserve help when they're willing to ask for it? or is it like this?

Eventually, Hoseok gets his breath back in his chest and his sobs quiet down. His eyes open bloodshot. All sadness has an expiration date (thankfully). Yoongi's hand slides down his arm and gives his hand a firm squeeze (and stays there).

It's the first time someone's touched Hoseok without wanting something in God knows how long but he's too sad to properly appreciate it or savor it. (Yoongi doesn't want anything from him that Hoseok wouldn't willingly give. Doesn't want anything but his smile. fuck- he's just a co-worker, isn't he?). Who knows when the next touch like this might come? (Yoongi is going to hold his hand tomorrow because Yoongi likes holding people's hands, Jin will give him the tacit permission to do that at least. But all of the pack are keenly aware that Hoseok needs time to heal, no matter how obvious Yoongi's crush and Hoseok's needs).

(Hoseok is definitely not just Yoongi's coe-worker at this point, but saviors come from all sorts of unlikely places)

Eventually Hoseok's sobs quiet and Yoongi sighs, pulling back. He takes one look at hoseok's red nose and pale cheeks and puffs up. "I'm making your hot chocolate and you're going to tell me what's happened."

He gets up like he needs something to do. Like he's tired of taking care of Hoseok. He doesn't take it personally, he's tired of it too.

“My mates they- they kicked me out of our den,” Hoseok confesses. Yoongi's got two mugs in his hands, they thud against the counter when he reaches into one of the cabinets.

It’s warm in here but Hoseok is still thankful for the sweatshirt the beta gave him. Not only for its warmth but for the layer of scent it provides; It’s soaked with the smell of chocolate. So comforting and heavenly that it makes Hoseok a little dizzy when he tucks his nose into it and takes a hefty sniff when Yoongi's got his back turned.

Hoseok was never given the other pack's items, never allowed or encouraged to indulge in their scents. They never asked for his either.

Yoongi hangs both their jackets above the radiator in the back so that they’ll dry faster. He bears an impressive bite mark on his arm, visible because of his short-sleeved shirt. It's bruised just ever so slightly- an alpha bite but not a mating bite because betas don't mate. A mark like that on him is as good a claim as any. Even with the other scents that cling to the sweatshirt.

Hoseok hasn’t known him long, but they’re friends even if they’ve never met up outside of work. You can't not be friends with someone you spend upwards of 30 hours a week with.

Yoongi just hums. "Have you been with them long?"

Hoseok appreciates that Yoongi doesn't use the past tense, his heart too tender around the idea of endings. Some part of him is unconvinced that it really is over. A stubborn heart for a stubborn alpha.

His hair is starting to dry when he nods. "It's been a few years." Hoseok bites his lip, "I could lie and say I didn't see signs but-" his hands end up in his hair, elbows leaning against the creaking yellow table. Tugging a little. "I'm so fucking stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid," Yoongi says, hand on the back of his head. warm rough fingers. Touching him ever so briefly as he passes to put the milk back in the mini-fridge. "It's not stupid to want to find more love where you got it."

But in truth, There's not much more than Yoongi can say. Not much more that he knows to say. He'd never met Hoseok's pack. Whereas Namjoon and Jimin and the pups have a general tendency to linger around Yoongi person at all hours and locations. Stopping by to drop off coffee or just to make funny faces at him through the window when they're on their way to work. Yoongi has never met his co-worker's pack and has never seen much evidence at all on him beyond some vague hints of scents.

That alone is enough of a hint; usually, when people have packmates they're soaked in their scents. Visceral claims to keep any wandering eyes wandering still. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wondered why Hoseok didn't wear his packmate's scents.

It’s not like the alpha smells bad at all- a little strong sure, but less genetically dominant alphas tend to smell a little sweeter like omegas.

At least that’s what Namjoon says when he feels like info dumping. Late at night when the pack asleep around them and only Yoongi's stayed up to listen. Because Yoongi likes the sound of Namjoon's voice when he gets into the details. Stroking across Namjoon’s bare chest just to feel the alpha's words rumble against his fingertips. His heartbeat against his ear the backtrack for all of it.

Whoever Yoongi’s pack is; they surely love him a lot. That much has been evident since the second that Hoseok met him. Evident in the packed bento boxes and the bunny-eyed omega that walks with him to work sometimes. Or in the tall omega and alpha pair that Hoseok has seen perusing the shelves when he comes in to relieve Yoongi of his shift.

Hoseok has worked here for 6 months. It’s impossible not to collect these details. The hickeys on his throat that he wears after weekends, how ruffled but generally loved Yoongi looks when he comes back from rut and heat leave.

“Is there a reason why they left?” Yoongi tries to be as undiscerning as possible. Voice gentle and measured. Stirring the hot cocoa and putting it in front of Hoseok.

Hoseok takes a sip and it feels like he's drinking a cup of the beta in front of him. Yoongi melts a little into the chair at the happy noise Hoseok makes.

It's good. Really good actually, Yoongi uses twice as much Swiss mix as the package instructs and a tablespoon of honey to boot. More chocolate can never be a bad thing.

Before Hoseok has a chance to respond, The phone next to the cabinet rings. And Yoongi takes it off the stand and hangs it up again in quick secession so that it doesn’t ring anymore. It has to be important but he ignores it for Hoseok's sake. Yoongi does a lot of ordering for the shop, the rare records that their boss is always trying to source and sell. It's a lot of chasing down leads and curators.

(This is not true. This is a lie that Yoongi and his boss have fed him. This phone is set up for the family's use. Hoseok doesn’t know that most of the calls Yoongi answers are more delicate than just simple stock orders.)

“I just found out that my brother has stolen from me, what should his punishment be beta?”

“How much did he steal?”

“300k”

Yoongi swallows, fighting his narrow margin of benevolence. The drops of mercy that he's allowed to show without suspicion. He tells himself that the other beta would order a far worse. People only call him when they want lighter punishment.

“A finger for every 100 then.”

The people who call ask him all manner of things. Things like “I think my child might be planning on going to the police, what should I do before anyone finds out about it?” He is both a secret keeper and a jury.

“Send them away. Out of sight and out of mind of anything that they might be able to share. I hear the military academies are lovely this year. So much snow. Yes, they take omega recruits.”

“My firstborn child presented as an omega instead of an alpha. They're my firstborn and heir, how should I proceed?”

“I can ask around for an advantageous match but I’m sorry, there is no fixing presentation.”

Hoseok hasn’t seen a phone like that in years. Didn’t even know they made old-fashioned ones like that anymore. Ones with a dial, the blue plastic worn from the number of times Yoongi's had to pick it up. It doesn't stay silent for long, ringing soon after yoongi's hung it up.

“I'm the only- they’re an all-omega group.” As if by the mention of his sub gender Hoseok’s angry burning sugar scent fills the room. In reply, Yoongi’s sweetness rises. Hoseok takes another sip and pretends it's just the hot chocolate warming his cheeks. “I guess they wanted to keep it that way.”

"I've got two omegas and they keep me on my toes, I can't imagine four." That gets a laugh out of Hoseok.

"You've got a bunch of alphas in yours though, right?" A bunch already, I wouldn't be needed. Hoseok has seen them, the tall one with dimples that looks like something out of a soap opera. The scary-looking one with the chubby cheeks who's always holding hands with the pretty academic one who likes the jazz in the corner.

Yoongi nods, "That must be nice," Hoseok's eyelashes are all clumped together from the tears. "Having so many people to take care of you."

Yoongi hums, knuckles brushing Hoseok’s hand on the table. It’s just one tender touch but Hoseok starts to break. To crumple.

Yoongi senses Hoseok breaking, pulling him in close before he has a chance to really fracture (he comes just in time, Yoongi loves Hoseok just in time). Yoongi’s scent alone is enough to soothe him- beyond the way he guides the alpha to rest against his throat. Hoseok fights it only a little, what's a little scenting among friends?

They're not just friends, it's not just scenting.

Hoseok wants to bury his nose in the beta’s throat, but that wouldn’t be appropriate, not with the scent of so many others clinging to him. He still sags into the hug. Turns his face away to avoid the temptation.

“They didn’t even tell me- and now the lease on the apartment is up and I can’t afford it on my own and-“ I’m so scared and I just wish there was someone to take care of me. I wish I was a pup again.

They sit like that at the table and Yoongi just lets him cry, He pulls back after his sobbing has cooled. They hug until they both smell like gooey chocolate chip cookies with too much brown sugar.

Hoseok sniffles, “We have to open up the shop,” Yoongi's arms tighten around Hoseok's shoulders in reply.

“It can wait a few more seconds.” Hoseok wants to say that the owner wouldn’t like that but he doesn’t.

Yoongi sips and hesitates. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” Hoseok pauses for a second, flushing before he shakes his head. “Okay, it's okay. You can say with me.”

“Are- are you sure they won't mind?” But Yoongi is already typing away on his phone, shooting a quick text to the pack group chat (a chat that Hoseok will be added to in exactly 23 days, but who's counting?)

“Not at all. It’s a bit cramped with all of us but we have a spare bed in the closet room that Tae likes to read on sometimes- Jungkook's boss slept there last night after they came back from drinking and Namjoon was so mad- he won't be mad about you though- it's just that Jungkook- he just really shouldn't be drinking."

"Is he underaged?"

"No, he's just got health issues."

"Oh." Yet another person who gets the love he needs, the care he needs. Hoseok tries and fails miserably not to be jealous over Yoongi's omega whom he's never met.

He won't be jealous for long. Later Jungkook is going to challenge him to an arm wrestle just to prove he doesn't need babying. Beating alphas in feats of strength is his favorite thing. He'll feel Hoseok’s hand in his and get completely distracted. "Wow, you've got like- really pretty hands!" and drag them close to his to compare sizes. He'll be smitten nearly instantly with Jungkook- for what it's worth. The jealousy only lasts for a few hours.

Within a few seconds his phone is ringing off the hook, he shows Hoseok the chorus of, “Yes it’s okay!” and “Poor thing, tell him he can stay as long as he wants.” "Of course hyung!" "Does Hoseok like kimchi-jjigae or should we just order pizza?" “Oh! Can we get some with pineapple?” “Gross Jk.” "Yeah we all know Minnie doesn't like the aftertaste of burnt fruit."

And Hoseok can't help but feel like he doesn’t deserve this kindness and such an effortless acceptance. There is a knock at the front door before he can say anything. A few short taps against the glass. Yoongi tells Hoseok to stay put while he goes to deal with a pushy customer who wants in. Leaving him alone in the backroom with his cooling hot coco and the poster still staring down at him.

(They say two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, but that's not the only way a secret stays buried; the best secrets are the ones you’re not even aware of.

Out of all the people in your pack. Hoseok is the only one in possession of a secret like this. The best kinds of secrets are the ones you don't even know are secrets see- he doesn't even know that this memory is enough to save you. Hoseok is entirely unaware that in his mind lies this memory.

Hoseok was the first person to get on the no-kill list, and it wasn’t because of Yoongi.

All packmates of a Don get put on the list;

no matter if they're active or past.)

Sitting at that yellowing wood table; Hoseok feels more settled now that he knows he has a place to sleep tonight that isn’t this backroom. Pulling the sleeve of Yoongi’s sweatshirt over his palms and sniffing at the collar where it was pushed up against Yoongi’s scent gland.

If he thinks hard, he can pick out a few scents here and there soaking the fabric. (Milky Omega Jin, Honey Sweet Puppy Jungkookie, Cinnamon sweet Alpha Tae and vanil-lalalala Jimin, Coffee Alpha Namjoon and Chocolate Yoongi).

It's so different from his ex-pack's scents. Their sugary sweet omega peppermint and sharp lemony evergreen, winter berry and pine, the cold smart of snow against his nose. His burning caramel scent- so off-putting. The one scent not Christmas-themed. The one that didn’t fit.

By comparison- Yoongi's pack smells like a bakery in summer. Every scent that could be added to a cake maybe (one day, in the kitchen, he’ll eat your tiramisu and realize yes- that’s exactly what it’s missing. Your cakey scent makes them all complete, the warmth of baking things).

He has somewhere to go now. Somewhere to be. Someone to trust. He trusts Yoongi- even if they’ve only known each other for a handful of short months.

And Yoongi’s pack can’t be worse than his last one.

As if in reply to Yoongi’s phone (buzzing with more texts that he doesn't check because Hoseok is nothing if not respectful of people's digital privacy. If he checked he would see "Is that the hot coworker you're always talking about? The one who always looks a little sad?")

Hoseok’s phone buzzes with the notification he's been waiting for.

Pack Omega 🌙 calling.

Pick up? Decline?

Hoseok hasn't yet gotten around to changing her contact information. He scrambles at it, spilling the hot cocoa across the table as he rushes to pick it up. Scrambling to get to it before it goes to voice mail. Blood pounding in his ears.

Hoseok’s voice is broken as he says his pack omega’s name, his old pack omega’s name.

“Byulyi- Moonbyul please-”

Moonbyul is cold on the other side of the phone. Maybe she’d have liked him more, and wouldn’t have given up on him if he didn't beg. But Hoseok has never been above begging. Not for love. Not for the thing he wants and needs the most. Hoseok needs love more than air and as Yoongi said- it's easiest to go looking for love where you once got it.

Even when you know it could hurt you.

Her voice is flat and unaffected. “I just wanted to make sure you found a place to stay tonight. Are you still going to be around to give the landlord the keys?”

Hoseok finds himself nodding even though he knows she can’t see him. “Yes- I can do that, I can do anything you want. Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Moonbyul please-”

“Goodbye Hoseok.” She says, hanging up after a second. Hoseok looks at the phone. Pushing the button to redial. It doesn't go. She’s already blocked him.

It will be a long time until Hoseok hears from his last pack again, a long long time until he says their names again. He will remember the way he’d begged, the way her name had sounded smack dab in the middle of it. And hate hate Hate how it makes him feel. He won't ever say their names, regret and self-disgust getting in the way.

It's a little funny, thinking of how different things might have gotten if he'd just told yoongi their names. If he hadn't let his alpha pride get in the way. A few days from now they'll talk about it together. "I don't like the way saying their names makes me feel- it feels- I hate how much I want to say it- to see them again- saying their names just reminds me of the power they had over me."

Never again, will Jung Hoseok beg for someone to give him the bare minimum. This is his lowest point. The moment where it shifts- for good.

His head is in his hands when Yoongi comes back into the room. Still sniffling, crying yet again. Yoongi sets a palm in his hair, ruffling it. Eyeing the spilled hot cocoa with a raised eyebrow.

“If you wanted coffee you could have just said so-“ he makes an attempt at levity and is rewarded with Hoseok’s small snort. Wiping his wet cheeks. Neither of them is aware of the secret. Neither of them is aware and so much worse off for it."

Hoseok grins, “Are you buying hyung?”

~-~

Please Like, Comment, and Reblog! Every bit of encouragement helps me write the next chapter!

Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!

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~-~

Notes:

in the story there has always been this question- mainly raised by jimin during his secret chapters- if the m/c is actually in love with them or if she's just manipulating them- at the beginning of this chapter- we actually see jimin finally dispel the last bit of him that thinks even a little bit that this is the case. once he sees how much she put her body on the line- that question isn't even in the back of his mind- even a little. i ended up re-editing this part alot because of it.

every time i write something from jimin's pov i'm always like "why is everything so meandering? why are things disjointed?" and then i remember that's literally jimin's character- that he is in a lot of ways an unreliable narrator.

(TW) i have this idea in my head that namjoon DOES NOT become a good person in the event that all of them die like- a whole separate idea of him becoming a doctor for the family through yoongi's connections with the soul purpose of one day killing moonbyul and her entire pack…including their pups on accident which ends up destroying the last bit of namjoon's innocence as a person…and he ends up becoming one of the families assassins alongside jimin as a result, in this event jungkook does not stay with them and instead moves on and yoongi stays and tries to get them to stop only to ask them to kill him as their last kill because he's unable to cope with the loss of jin, hobi, the m/c and tae. BUT ANYWAY I DIGRESS THAT IS NOT THIS STORY.

i think in this story there is this really interesting dynamic of femininity and death and morality- that being said red nail polish is definitely a metaphor for whose comfortable killing and who isn't. i like the contrast between tae who will never wear red nails again- vs the moon pack who all are not allowed out of the nest if their nailpolish isn't perfect like- thats another layer of the fucked up shit.

are you suprised that the m/c is going to leave? Did you see it coming from a mile away? i mean...it is in the title of the series 😈

….the parallel between hobi losing his voice and the m/c not having a voice at the beginning of the series- you can project whatever meaning you want onto that <3

also on that subject the line "Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival." it's worth mentioning that thats not what i think is the most necessary thing to their survival but it is their own interpretation of what keeps them alive. like i for one actually think that the m/c is a lot more pragmatic than anyone gives her credit for but i digress. i could go on about all of their strenghts.

what did you guys think about hobi's secret reveal???? a fair amount of people have guessed it and i think when someone got it at the beginning of the series i lied and said it wasn't- i'm allowed to be an unreliable narrator too!!! kudos to everyone who got it! i feel like it could have been revealed better and originally the big one off was slated for next chapter but i decided to shift it to this one (mostly because i think the next chapter is about to get up there in terms of word count tbh 😭) but T-T its done now! please give me praise because i'm baby and this week has honestly been really hard

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bangtaninborderland · 8 months

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JJK-SEVEN

Summary: you know it isn't healthy, you know you should leave, but you can’t and neither can he.

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst.

A/N: self indulge from my own experiences

BTS MASTERLIST.

JK POV

You get home a little past 6 pm, Jungkook isn’t there, he is always busy though so that’s normal. You set your bags down, slip your shoes off and head straight to change into some comfy clothes. You loved the confidence you felt ready for the day, the way you felt a little braver as you applied a hint of concealer under your eyes, masking the lack of sleep you’d had but your favourite time of the day was the moment you could come home and remove it all.

It doesn’t take you long to dress down and situate yourself on the couch. You eye your phone a few times, debating whether or not to call Jungkook ultimately deciding against it. He would probably be upset if you called in the middle of a schedule especially if he was in a meeting or something. You settled for a simple text:

You: I’m home, will you be here for dinner?

J🩶: No, working late, don’t wait up.

You: Okay, Love you.

Message Read 6:48PM

The message is left unread but that’s okay, Jungkook is a busy person with things to do. You don’t take what you have for granted so instead of mourning the time you don’t have you focus on the time you do have. Which albeit isn’t much, even when he isn’t working he finds better things to do.

You’d never stop him though, he worked hard, and he deserved that time for himself. You couldn’t be a burden.

You settle on ordering takeout for dinner, it was pointless cooking a meal that would never get finished. The leftovers from three days ago are still in the refrigerator, untouched, despite the note you’d left telling your boyfriend that they were there.

The food arrived an hour later, you turned on the TV and tucked in, letting yourself be drawn into the world of another sappy drama but not even that could keep your mind from wandering, from thinking about how everything got so messed up.

You’d started out years ago, two young kids just wanting some affection and care. Jungkook had just left another relationship, being three years older than you it was safe to say you’d had significantly less experience in the dating department but you fell hard and fast. You’d call all the time, things were busy then but never as busy as now, he would often wait up until late at night when everyone else was asleep to call you from the shared Bangtan dorm room, even if it meant he was a little more tired the next day. He would write you sweet messages whenever he had time, a few words that you would cherish and reread anytime you missed him.

Sure there were rough patches, fights, disagreements, the distance was hard whenever he was on tour and even though it hurt you, really hurt you, there was something always holding you in place so you never left, you couldn’t even imagine it, the few times Jungkook had proposed a break-up or a break you’d denied, argued against it, plead your case as though you were on trial because you couldn’t lose him. He was all you had.

You had friends sure but none that you were actually close to, family wasn’t something you found comfort in, and the arguments that came with being around them were something you’d rather not experience so you stayed away, stayed alone. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to adapt to everything Jungkook was, there hadn’t been a single thing you’d done without him in mind.

You’d been his place to let out everything he felt, most of his emotions bottling up until it came out as a wave of evil anger, words that lacked truth still tearing you apart piece by piece. Still, his apologies were sweet, warm, and soft, they gave you comfort. So you smiled and said it was okay, smiled and tried to ignore the list of names and backhanded comments you’d heard.

Besides, the next day everything was okay, everything would always be okay eventually.

You’re still sitting on the couch when Jungkook gets home, he walks straight into the bedroom, ignoring your presence as though you don’t exist but you remind yourself it’s dark, you didn’t have the lights on so he probably didn’t see you.

“Marco?” He called out and you couldn’t help but smile at the silly American game he had taught you a few years ago.

“Polo.” You called back, unable to hide your grin.

As he came closer you smelt the soju on his breath. “I thought you were working late?”

He groaned, slumping against you on the couch. “Yeah, well we finished around 7 so Mingyu asked if I wanted to get drinks.” He shrugged. “Don’t get all mad.”

“I’m not mad Kook.” You were thankful no lights had been turned off, although you could cover up the shake in your voice the sadness in your eyes was significantly harder to rid yourself of. “I just missed you.”

“Fuck I know okay, I know but I don’t need you putting pressure on me too I’m already working hard twenty-four seven, you want me to come home and be the perfect boyfriend to you but where is my time? Where is the time for me? It’s selfish of you to always put your wants first.”

“No I just meant that I missed you I didn’t-“ you sighed, the argument dying on your tongue. “I’m sorry.”

“You always say that. You just ruined a good day…god” he huffed, a hand running through his hair. “I’m going to shower and then I’ll sleep.” With that he was gone, his footsteps retreating.

A coldness settled over you, an unspeakable pain simmering in your chest. He had misunderstood, the words you’d said with honest intentions had been taken out of context and twisted to portray you as a selfish person.

As much as you loved Jungkook he had one flaw, he failed to see what wasn’t directly In front of him. He wouldn’t ever be able to realise or understand the extent to which you’d given up everything of yourself to be with him. The friends you couldn’t have because you felt awful having such an important secret that you couldn’t share with them, the fact Jungkook was…Jungkook meant the relationship you had couldn’t exactly be paraded around, your own paranoia preventing you from having friends in case they found out and shared it with the media. You’d hidden your own dark days whenever something was troubling him, you chose your words carefully to prevent him from worrying too much. You’d always hold off discussing things that had been awkward or uncomfortable until it was suitable for him and by then those feelings and situations were too far gone to bring back up.

It all piled up and then what was once a small ball of insecurity, sadness and longing had grown into a boulder, one that you carried around on your shoulders every day, the weight crushing you slowly.

Still, you didn’t pick a fight, you let it be. Tomorrow would be better, you wouldn’t talk about it, not seriously, you never did.

You waited until you heard the shower switch off, giving him time to fall asleep before joining him in bed.

Maybe it was just habit, something that you’d both done for so long it happened involuntarily but Jungkook reached out for you, tucking your body under his as he whispered a soft “I love you” with a kiss to your head.

The next day things were better, Surprisingly you found him at the stove, singing along to some slow song, probably something Taehyung had sent to him. “Good morning baby.”

You smiled at the term of endearment. “Good morning.”

“Come here.” He called out to you, turning the stove down before opening his arms for you. “I’m sorry about last night.”

Your heart ached at the reminder of his anger the night before, his misunderstanding of your words, his lack of understanding of how you felt. “It’s okay.”

He pushes you back a little, observing your face. “Is it really? Do you forgive me?”

“Always, I’ll always forgive you.” You smiled back and it wasn’t a lie. You would always forgive him, regardless of what he did, or how he hurt you, you would always forgive him because you simply could t live without him.

You both knew it wasn’t healthy, knew it wasn’t okay to act this way, to brush over the misunderstandings you dealt with daily but you couldn’t help it. Facing just how bad things were between you, facing just how poor your communication and trust was meant facing the reality that there was no way to fix it.

The only fix would be to separate and you knew, you knew without a doubt you wouldn’t take that step and neither would he.

So you both held on, ignoring the boulder because you couldn’t let go, even if it was just attachment, you’d let yourself be safe here in the familiarity of everything you shared together for a little longer, even if the boulder was killing you.

You held onto the false reality you’ve created between yourselves, you were sure you always would even if it was insincere because the pain of being the person who took every negative emotion out on was nothing compared to the pain and emptiness you’d feel if he wasn’t there with you, if you no longer had him to hold you and brush your tears away.

“I’m in love with you.” He leaned down to kiss you, tilting your head upwards for easier access.

“I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

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kooshours · 8 months

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jeon's garage || TEASER

CH. 1 RELEASED.

pairing: motorcycle mechanic!Jungkook x reader.

genre: lots of fluff, smut, angst

rating: explicit. read at your own discretion, heed the warnings!

series summary: Being sheltered by your older brother while growing meant having none of the experiences that other normal teenagers had. No parties, extracurriculars, trips, or anything that was remotely dangerous to your wellbeing. Even now as you were a 21-year-old college student, his protectiveness never diminished. You wanted to show your brother that you were an adult now and could make your own decisions, so you decided to do one of the most drastic things you could think of to make a statement. You want to own your first motorcycle. To do that though, you need a mechanic to help you fix up the trashed bike you found in the junkyard. Unknowingly seeking the help of one of your brother's closest friends, you find yourself falling for one of the people you were hid from.

warnings: casual swearing, mentions of substance abuse/absent parents, characters drinking alcohol and smoking, mentions/references to sex along with sexual content. (there will be warnings before each chapter if contained)

word count: usually around 4-6k per chapter. teaser word count: 749 words.

planned release: September 14th, 6:00 PM EST.

taglist: open! comment to join :)

----------------------

"This is a terrible idea." The first thing you heard as you stood with your best friend of ten years, Jaehyun, in the middle of a junkyard and staring at a motorcycle. Well, what was a sorry excuse for a motorcycle. Having been thrown away and forgotten in a dump, it was almost completely trashed. Any of the partially useful parts had been taken by anyone else who could make use of it. Now all that was left was the skeleton of what probably was a 20 year old motorbike.

"This is an amazing idea." You replied with a small grin. All in all, you knew your best friend was right. What kind of idiot got a random motorcycle from the junkyard? You did. It was the only way you could hide your newfound hobby from your older brother.

Growing up, your older brother had always been protective over you. Namjoon had major trust issues with anyone that entered your life and criticized anything you did that had the possibility of putting you in danger. So you knew that the moment you tried to tell him that you wanted to try and ride motorcycles, he would lose his shit. You'd probably lose your dear older brother to a heart attack.

You know that it was only because he loved you so much. Due to living in a not-so-good household, your older brother was the main one who took care of you. He deserved to be as protective as he was when everything in life just wanted to bite the two of you in the ass. He was 4 years old and taking care of you, teaching himself how to make the baby formula because your parents were too busy getting high off anything they could buy in a dark alleyway.

Because of that, your brother had learned not to trust anyone. He grew up to hate drugs and alcohol, to build walls around him and lose all of his faith in humanity. The only exception to these beliefs were you, and of course his best friends. But nobody was an exception to who he trusted around you, and that was including the 6 boys that he had been close with ever since middle school. He barely even tolerated Jaehyun and you had known him for 10 years.

His overbearing protectiveness was the reason that you had never once met the guys that he called his brothers. He also made it clear that they didn't know a single thing about you either. All they knew was that Namjoon had a younger sister in her third year of university, and she was strictly off limits, no exceptions whatsoever. It was the only strict boundary that he had with all of his friends. The one thing that he was firm with and would never change no matter what. The moment any of them tried to get close to you, they would be dead to Namjoon.

and yet, later the next day...

"____. Kim ____." You quickly introduced yourself, also realizing that he didn't know your name. His smile widened even more when you said your name.

"I'm Jeon Jungkook, the owner of the garage. It's lovely to meet you, ____." He replied warmly, and you felt your heart skip a beat when he said your name. You felt like this whole situation was way too good to be true the whole time you were both working out the days that you would come to visit his garage to keep him company while he worked on the bike. He estimated that he'd have to work on it for around a month if you could come in 5 days a week for a couple hours each day. You were suddenly much more excited for the next few weeks. The start to your day didn't even matter to you anymore. What on earth did you even do to win this lottery?

Never did you think that you would end up in this situation, and yet here you were. Getting a deal on your bike in exchange for spending a few hours each day with one of the most charming and attractive men you had the privilege to look at? At yet here you were, watching the giddy man as he scribbled his personal number onto a piece of paper with a promise of texting him when you wanted to start your bike project. Little did neither of you know what exactly you had both gotten into.

#jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook drabble #jeon jungkook x reader #jeongguk imagine #jeon jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook x y/n #jungkook comfort #jungkook angst

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luciathcv · 29 days

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drunken facetime - jjk

summary: your boyfriend drunkenly says something embarrassing to you in front of your mom || warnings: jungkook is drunk || genre: fluff, established relationship, suggestive, angst, comfort || word count: approximately 800

I sat in the car with my mom, the both of us had just finished having dinner together, and she was currently driving us back home, where my boyfriend, Jungkook, was waiting.

She was busy talking to me about work when my phone started vibrating in my lap. I looked down at it and checked it, seeing that Jungkook was Facetiming me.

"It's Jungkook." I told her. She knew Jungkook, considering I've been dating him for a few years at this point and the fact that I've lived with him for a while as well.

"Answer him." My mom told me, wanting to say hello. And so I accepted the Facetime, not thinking much of it.

When I answered the call, I could see that Jungkook was in the living room, his hair was a bit messy and his face was a little red.

"Hi, baby." Jungkook said, and I could tell that he was drunk as his voice was a little slurred.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked with a smile as I looked at my phone.

"I just wanted to check in on my baby." Jungkook told me and I couldn't help but blush a bit at his words.

"I'm having a good time. My mom's driving me home right now." I told my boyfriend. I then moved my phone so that Jungkook could see my mom and my mom waved at him.

"Hey, Jungkook." My mom greeted him.

"Hey, (your mom's name)." Jungkook said back sweetly. "How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good. How are you?" My mom responded.

"Good. Thank you." Jungkook said and I turned the phone to face me again.

"I'll be there soon." I told him.

"Good, when you get home I'm going to make love to you so good, you-" Jungkook started saying, whispered, but still loud enough for both my mom and I to hear.

I gasped as I heard what he said, "Jungkook!" I said, shocked as I avoided looking over at my mother.

"What?" He asked, really not seeing the problem with what he did in the moment.

"I- I'm hanging up." Is all I said before I hung up the Facetime.

I looked over at my mom awkwardly as she just laughed. Oh my god. I couldn't believe him.

I walked into the apartment and took my shoes off, still feeling immensely embarrassed. I walked down the hallway and into our bedroom as I changed out of my clothes and into some pajamas. As I was putting my shirt on, my back facing the door, Jungkook walked inside the room, and quietly walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.

I was upset with him so I pushed him off of me and stepped away, putting my shirt on all of the way. I then turned to face him.

"What's wrong, baby?" Jungkook asked. "Why'd you hang up on me so fast?" He then asked.

"What's wrong?" I repeated. "I'm so embarrassed." I told him. "You talked about making love to me and my mom heard you!" I complained.

"She did?" Jungkook asked.

"Obviously." I said as I walked past him and out of the room, sitting down on the couch next to Bam as I started petting him.

Jungkook followed after me, sitting next to me on the couch. "I'm sorry, baby." I pouted as I looked down at Bam who was now laying his head on my lap. "I would never embarrass you on purpose, especially in front of your mom." Jungkook said as he put his hand in mine, squeezing it gently.

When he said that, no matter how upset I was, I knew that he meant it. He always did everything to protect me from everything really, but embarrassment too, even when he was drunk so I knew he wasn't lying when he said that.

"I know.." I said as I looked over at him. "Do you forgive me?" Jungkook asked.

I gave him a pouted look, making him smile a little, before I nodded. Bam hoped off of the couch, going to drink from his water bowl, and as soon as he did so, Jungkook gently pushed me so that I was laying down on the couch, before he got on top of me and started kissing me all over my face.

I giggled as he did so, his hair tickling me. Jungkook then pulled away for a moment, looking down at me. "I love you so much." Jungkook told me.

"I love you too." I said with a smile as I looked up at him, holding onto his biceps.

He smiled down at me before leaning down and kissing me. You forgave him but were the both of you definitely going to be embarrassed the next time you saw your mother? For sure.

-- link to my masterlist

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rjshope · 7 days

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Were they a mistake left by an angel Or were they a deep kiss Those dimples are illegal But I love it anyway anyway anyway

for @cordiallyfuturedwight✨

[cr. 0613data, trans. doolsetbangtan]

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twilghtkoo · 2 months

Text

pairings. jungkook x reader (f)

genre. comfort/fluff

warnings. reader is on her period, mentions of blood (period blood) stain, crying

notes. im on my period and have been moody and sad so here u go :D

"baby?" his voice echoed from somewhere in your room, the sound of footsteps soon following as he appears in front of you with that bunny smile on his face.

you're sliding your shoes off and tiredly shrugging off your bag from your shoulders along with the one grocery bag in your hand, not caring at this time that it has landed on the floor.

you glance up at your favorite person with a small smile and reach for him. the sides of his lips tilt upwards knowingly, you've voiced out in the past that coming home and being engulfed in one of his hugs is the best feeling.

he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around your neck as your tiny ones squeeze his small waist, your fingers gripping the fabric of his lose shirt.

one hand of his cradles the back of your head, inhaling the soft scent of coconut from your hair, the smell weighing him into your warmth and familiarity. his other hand traveling down to the lower area of your back, rubbing up and down.

"long day baby?" he softly asks.

just the reminder of the terrible day you've had, brought tears to your eyes. so you clung onto him tighter, if that was possible.

you nuzzle your head into his chest, sighing. "you don't even know."

he hums expectantly.

"i started my period yesterday and today on the bus as i was getting off, this girl who looked to be in high school- she was really nice- but she said i bled through. and with my luck, i indeed did bleed through. i wanted to cry kook. thankfully, i had a jacket so i tied that around me and before heading to campus i stopped by the nearest store and had to get pads because guess what kook? guess what? i ran out of pads in my purse!" you don't even realize you were crying until jungkook was petting the back of your head and shushing you.

you continued. "and the freaking pads were expensive, jesus inflation is crazy kook. and it was a small pack too! i also bought me sweats to change into. so yeah, that's how my day went. god, i hate myself." you sniffed.

he pulls away from you, your arms still circled around his waist. he looks down at you, frowning as he holds your face in his hands. wiping away tears that wetted your cheeks. "hey, don't hate yourself. i'm sorry you had a bad day baby. i'm glad that girl told you nicely about it. and you have my card still, did you use my card to buy those pads and your sweatpants?"

you shake your head, your face still in his hands.

he tsks at you, lightly squeezing your cheeks together. "you have my card, you should've used it baby. that's why i gave it to you."

you poke your bottom lip out. "no, you gave it to me because you didn't have pockets that one day." you argued, not sure why.

he pokes your side making you jolt in his grasp. "don't fight with me babe, you know that if you have my card, you're welcome to use it." he reasons, going back to cradling your head beneath his chin.

you sniffed again. "sorry, it just doesn't feel right to use it without you with me."

he whispers 'i know' into your ear, it falls silent between you two, but you don't care because it's comforting and it feels really good in jungkook's arms right now.

"can i kiss you?" your question comes out mumbled with your face against his chest.

you feel and hear him chuckle as he leans back. "what was that?"

you roll your eyes, almost regretting you asked. "you heard me, stop."

he laughs again, shaking his head. the beauty mark beneath his bottom lip enticing you and it doesn't go unnoticed by him. "i don't think i did."

you huff, "i said can i kiss you." you could feel your cheeks heat up from his passionate stare.

not wanting to tease you anymore, he nods. staring down at your lips, the soft reddish pink tint warms something in chest knowing it'll stain his lips as well, but it excites him.

#twilghtkoo #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenarios #bts fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook comfort #bts drabble #bts scenarios

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linniewrites · 10 months

Text

We all have our issues | Jungkook

idol!jungkook x chubby!student!reader

Summary : She asked me if she was pretty

Well, it's clear that the girl's a fraud

There's really no way of winning

If in their eyes you'll always be a dumb blonde.

Series warnings : mommy issues, daddy issues, age gap (Jk is 25 while reader is 20), crying, talk about anxiety, depression, abuse, mentions of panic attacks, school induced stress, fear of dogs (?), insecurities, body shaming.

List of Chapters :

Prologue

Chapter one : you sleep over at Jungkook’s for the first time, and realize that, you do, indeed, see him as more than a friend.

Chapter two : you ask Jungkook to go grocery shopping with you, but the day doesn’t end as nicely as it had started.

Chapter three : family reunions had never really been your things after all.

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howtodolife · 5 months

Text

LATE NIGHT SUBTLETIES AND A MILLION MORE CONTROVERSIES

Summary: Reader wakes up at night and doesn't find jungkook beside her but instead in the kitchen, cooking.

Fem!reader × Jungkook

Warnings/Tags: pure fluff, hurt/comfort, insecurity, mentions of stretchmarks, manhandling (A bit?), oc is nervous and restless, she's so in love it makes her jittery and overwhelmed 😭, jk being an absolute sweetheart, REASSURANCE, bit suggestive in the middle but nothing happens, they're so in love it hurts 😭😭💗 (pls tell me if you find any more warnings, I'll add them!)

Writer's note: why is it so hard to write kiss scenes‼️?? it's my second fic, It originally started as a pure fluff imagine but I couldn't help it and made it a bit sad, so now it fits into the hurt/comfort trope more 😭😭 I'm not very happy with how it turned out because it feels kinda personal and I pondered not posting it but here I am. I hope you guys like it! Also it gets better in the end👍😭

"It must be midnight," you thought to yourself as your eyes drifted open, adjusting to the darkness around you. You reached out to the other side of the bed, hoping to find security and warmth, hoping to find Jungkook—the one you sought for love and a sense of belonging. Surprisingly, all you could find was an empty mattress and bedsheets, as well as pillows cold from being unused. Quickly getting up, panic flooded in for a short moment. "Jungkook," you called out, receiving no answer. You walked to the living room, eyes searching for him, and that was when Jungkook caught your sight. He was in the kitchen, cooking god-knows-what with his back turned toward you. The room had a purplish hue due to the dimmed lights, and the atmosphere felt cold with the AC blasting at full temperature. Jungkook turned toward you, hearing your footsteps, giving you a slight smile that had a hint of slyness. You walked closer to him. You felt Jungkook's hand snake around your waist, and then strong tattooed arms lifting you up onto the cold marble countertop. You squirmed due to the sudden movement, gripping onto his shoulders for stability. "Oh my god," you exclaimed, earning Jungkook a chuckle. You rolled your eyes at him. "Hey, c'mon, it's fun!"

"Sure", you retorted. "Besides, why are you making ramen at 2:46 a.m", you mentioned, hitting his head lightly.

"I'm insomniac", stated Jungkook matter of factly. "Also I was bored since it's late and had nothing better to do, so naturally i decided to cook"

I tilted my head at him and hummed in response. He looked beyond beautiful right now. Sharing these little moments together felt so domestic yet special; I'd trade anything for them. Jungkook gave me a quick glance before I felt one of his hands on my thigh, pulling me closer to him so that he could place kisses all over my face and neck. I grinned at that, placing my hands in his hair.

"You're never going to give me a warning, are you?", you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

He chuckled "And miss out on these reactions? Nah, I'm good".

You wrapped your arms and legs around him, taking his presence in as much as you could. You would never get enough of it, of him. You wanted to stare into his brown bambi eyes forever, and even that wouldn't be enough time. You felt his hand travelling up and down your legs, Jungkook could feel the dents made by the stretchmarks on your legs here and there. You tensed a bit as you felt the warmth of his hand lingering there a bit more longer than the other areas, afraid he might judge you or find them weird but it was evident in his eyes that he couldn't care less. Jungkook's face reflected nothing but the feelings of love, respect and infatuation he felt for you. You felt the cold metal of his rings on your thighs as the grip of his hand strengthened, his head shifting closer to you. You breathed in his scent, shifting slightly closer to him. You gulped nervously, trying to calm your nerves down, heart beating loud in your chest at Jungkook being so close to you, the amount of intimacy you were sharing. You'd experienced it a countless number of times, but it still made you feel all restless and timid. "You can touch me, y'know", he chuckled, and then you lost it. Completely.

"God, I KNOW, its just that the feelings I have for you is so overwhelming and intense plus I don't know what the fuck to do with them. Sometimes I wanna jump off a building because of these and I'm always scared if I say or do something wrong or weird. It just holds me back from doing so much. I have so much love for you and it's unreal and crazy but you'll never get to know it because guess what, I'm too fucking embarrassed to do anything", you rambled and put your hand in your head, feeling upset, guilty and a bit disappointed.

You felt him grab your wrists and pull your hands from your face, holding them. He seemed to be taking in the whole of what you said and understand it in depth instead if coming up with a sudden reply. He scooted his head closer to you, as if trying to emphasize what he was about to say "nothing you do comes off as weird or out of place to me, understand? I love you, I love you, I love YOU, I can't stress this enough. You can never make me tired or upset with you, I love all of your little habits and mannerisms and i'll memorise all of them to take care of you and make you feel safe and wanted. Also, holy shit, that's a lot to carry all at once, Y/N. I don't want you to feel so pressurised and stressed with me, love. I'll do my best to not let these feeling get to you. Besides, I can recognize how much you love me by all your little gestures and the things you say" You felt him grab your chin and turn your attention towards him. "I love you, okay? Don't doubt that". You felt his lips brush against yours, making your heart jump, it was the gentlest of kisses, without the desire for something another. It intensified slowly, his hands grabbing your waist, pulling you even closer, making you his body press against yours. Although it was without the anticipation of anything other than this moment you were sharing, not with his hands under your shirt or tangled up in your bra straps. It was one filled with love and innocence, one that was unwavering. You suddenly felt his lips part from yours, a move unlikely for him to do. But then it dawned on you - the food. He reached for the spatula in a sudden movement, trying to do something to make the food edible, at least, though it didnt look like anything could be done.

"Fuck, no, no no. Not the goddamn ramen. I really don't want to eat it burnt, ah" Jungkook conceded.

He held his head in his hands, sighing in a defeated manner. You felt bad for him, though you couldn't help but burst out laughing. He narrowed his eyes at you.

"What, you asshole. There's nothing funny about this".

You raised you hands as if to signify that you were not at fault. "Hey, it's your fault. You should've been more careful and not shifted your attention elsewhere."

"Okay well, nobody told you to wake up at 3 AM to come here and distract me, it's all your fault" Jungkook accused.

You let out a sigh, jumping down from the counter "Just order in food and we'll clean up the mess together"

"Absolutely not, your "cleaning up" never ends well. I'm just left out here all by my own" he teased, fake crying.

You gasped in a dramatic way, half-joking, half-bickering."That's so mean, you absolute shithead. I would clean it up just to spite you and prove you wrong, but y'know what? I'm too tired. Good 4 me though, I'm saved from work" You shrugged.

"Just admit you can't do it" he retorted, putting the dishes in the sink, smiling the whole time.

"Not in my life, never."

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7ndipity · 1 year

Text

Taking care of you

Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Jungkook taking care of his s/o after a rough day

Warnings: a lil bit of crying, but it's mostly just comfort & fluff

A/N: first off, we just 300 followers?! Thank you all so much! This was another lovely request from @tpiliper, I hope y'all like it! I'll also be trying to post several other requests this weekend.

Masterlist

Requests are open

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You dragged yourself through the door of your apartment, movements slow and brain hazy from another exhausting day. The only coherent thought in your mind being the desire to crawl into bed and forget about everything for a few hours.

You'd barely kicked your shoes off before you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist.

"Hi." Jungkook mumbled, planting a small kiss against you neck. When you only hummed in response, he pulled back to look at you properly.

"Long day?" He asked, taking note of your tired eyes, to which you only nodded, too fatigued to elaborate at the moment.

"My poor baby." He cooed, taking your face in his hands and pressing a kiss to your lips before pulling you into a tight hug. Jungkook gave the best hugs; if it were up to you, you would never never leave his arms, forever wrapped in the sense of warmth and safety that only he could convey.

"How about you go grab a shower and I'll order us some food, okay?" He suggested.

"I'm too tired to wash up." You groaned against his shoulder.

"You'll only feel worse if you don't." He said pulling back and taking your hand, tugging you towards the bathroom. "C'mon."

He sat you down on the edge of the tub and carefully removed your makeup for you before gently helping you into the shower.

You don't know how long you stood under the warm stream from the shower, but by the time you finally emerged, now in pajamas, he already had food set up and waiting in the living room. He was quick to pull you to the couch, giving your hand a little squeeze before moving to sit on the floor in front of you.

"What are you doing? There's plenty of room up here." You said.

"I like sitting here." He defended.

"You like it because I play with your hair." You teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He lied, flopping his head back as he spoke, so his hair brushed against you.

You weren't too far off with your comment, he did love it when you played with his hair, but also knew you loved it even more, having said before that you found it soothing to just sit and run your fingers through it, something he thought you might need at the moment.

The two of you slipped into a comfortable silence as you watched TV, with him coaxing you to eat a few bites of food here and there, when you began to feel all the emotions of the day that you'd been trying to push down starting to catch up to you.

At the sound of the first sniffle from you, Jungkook immediately whipped around.

"Baby? No no no, why are you crying?" He quickly moved to hold you as you cried. "It's okay, I've got you."

After a couple minutes, you calmed down. "I'm sorry." You said quietly.

"Don't apologize, everyone need to let it out sometimes." He said gently, wiping under your eyes. "You feel better?"

You nodded. "Thank you, for always taking care of me."

"Of course." He pressed another kiss to your temple. "Anytime."

You suddenly let out a yawn, making him chuckle.

"You wanna go to bed now?" He asked with a smile.

"Yes, please."

#jungkook fluff #jungkook reaction #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook drabble #jungkook comfort #jungkook imagine #bts #bts scenarios #bts one shot #bts x y/n #bts x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #bts requests #7ndipity

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just4koo · 6 months

Text

cornflower blue - jjk.

summary: nights were your favorite time with your boyfriend. the nights where you laid in bed together, tangled up in each other without any thoughts of the real world.

word count: 4.3k

genre/warnings: established relationship, porn with (kinda) plot, fluff, smut!!, unprotected sex, soft!dom jungkook, really soft overall, lots of praise, fingering, aftercare, dirty talk, creampie, jk loves to use pet names (tbh i didn't proofread this)

bruised on your face like a watercolor bloom, moonlight paints your skin cornflower blue

Every time you got a glance of your boyfriend, you wondered how on earth you were so lucky to find him. Every morning you spent next to him, you thanked whatever brought him to you because you couldn't imagine a life without him anymore. Without sharing your mornings and evenings together, having stay at home dates, sharing everything. The good, bad, and the ugly. There were moments where you felt like you could just stare at him for hours. Right now was one of those moments.

It was the mundane moments that really got to you. He had just gotten home from work a couple hours prior. The two of you had shared dinner together, he had ranted about his day like usual, and he had gone to the bathroom for his routine shower before bed. Now he was laying on the bed with you in all his glory. Damp hair, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, pajamas lazily pulled on, the two of you watching an episode of the baking competition show you two loved so much.

Somewhere during the episode you had lost focus once you got a glimpse of your boyfriend. He was much more interesting than the show to you, much more beautiful than any piece of artwork. Every curve and dip of his face, every blemish and mole, it was so perfect. The light of the TV brightened his features enough, allowing you to look at him even more in depth. Swoon over the beautiful brown eyes that were focused on the show.

It was almost as if your boyfriend could sense you staring. After a couple minutes of you watching him, his eyes flickered over to you. Earlier on in the relationship you would've shied away from his gaze at the prospect of being caught, but not anymore. Not when all you wanted to do every second of the day was remind him just how perfect he was. His eyes immediately softened when he saw you already looking at, revealing the gaze that he always had reserved only for you.

"Feeling tired, baby?" He asked in a tone full of affection, one of his hands moving to gently brush a strand of your hair out of your face. Your heart practically fluttered as his fingertips barely grazed the skin of your cheek. He was always so attentive to you that it made your heart throb uncontrollably.

"Mhm.. Can we just lay down and listen to our playlist?" You asked quietly, provoking a soft smile from him. It was one of the things you both loved to do. You loved music equally, and that love had produced a playlist that the two of you only listened to together. It had everything on it. Silly songs, slow songs, things that you wanted to recommend to each other. The song had 700 songs and was still being added to.

"Of course we can, come here.." Jungkook replied, holding an arm open for you. Without a second thought you were immediately abandoning your spot on the bed next to him in favor for crawling directly into his arms. With an arm now wrapped around you he cut off the TV and opened his phone, going into his music app to play the playlist. One of the first songs that played was soft R&B, one of the songs that had been recommended to him by his fans.

A small yawn fell from your lips as you rested your head against his shoulder just like always. His hand had instinctively traveled under your t-shirt, starting to rub slow circles into your waist. You had one of your hands in his hair, playing with the soft strands that he had decided to grow out a while ago. Everything in the moment felt perfect, like it was where the two of you belonged. Laying in bed with your limbs tangled, listening to the music.

You eventually found yourself looking back at Jungkook, you just couldn't help it. How could you not admire the most breathtaking person you'd ever laid eyes on? Especially not when he was looking right back at you, his eyes holding the same admiration that you were feeling for him at the moment. It was almost like the music faded into the background and now you were just stuck sharing a gaze with your boyfriend. Without the light of the TV anymore, the moonlight casted a blue hue in your shared bedroom, illuminating his features.

He was so stunning that it hurt. You wished nothing more than to be able to fully convey the things you felt for him. There wasn't a day that you didn't tell him how much you loved him or how handsome he was, and yet you still felt as if it wasn't enough. Words could never truly describe the emotions this man drew out of your soul. Without even knowing he made you want to be the best version of yourself possible.

"What're you thinking of, my love?" Jungkook eventually questioned, unable to hold in his curiosity anymore. You would often do this, look at him without really saying it. While other people may have commented on it or thought it was a bit strange, he never did. Because he knew that when you were looking at him in that way, you were feeling all of the same things that he felt for you.

"You. I'm always thinking of you." You answered, causing that familiar feeling of butterflies in his stomach. No matter how long the two of you had been dating, one thing never changed. The magnitude of your feelings for each other. Most couples had honeymoon phases, losing the initial level of interest they had in each other once they got to know one another. But it wasn't that way for you and Jungkook. No, it had been the opposite. The closer you two grew together, the harder and deeper you fell.

You were eventually snapped out of your reverie by the sensation of your boyfriend's fingers brushing against your cheek again. This time, intentional. You looked back up into his eyes as you felt this, seeing him looking right back down at you. A soft smile pulled at the corner of his lips when he noticed the slight flush on your cheeks in the soft blue light of the moon. To him, you were a masterpiece. There was no purpose in going to museums when he had the most beautiful sight right in front of him, everyday.

"God, I wish you knew how much I love you." He breathed out. You felt your flush deepen at those words. The thing that brought you the most amount of happiness was knowing that what Jungkook felt for you was the same. You were both two young adults hopelessly in love with each other, the two of you against the world forever. The promise ring on your right hand sealing in your future together.

After a few more moments existing in the silence together, the two of you were simultaneously leaning in for a kiss. If you had one last wish before you died, it would be to experience this. To feel his soft lips slot against yours and draw away all of your worries. To take you to a place where you didn't have to worry about anything. Where you could just exist with him; live without any doubts for the future or any regrets for the past.

The two of you kissed softly and gently, getting lost in the warmth you got from each other. At one point, the feeling of you two kissing was becoming too much. The music provided a soft melody, joined with the new sound of the two of your breaths becoming more rushed. Your hands becoming more curious the longer your lips stayed locked. It was impossible when everything you felt for each other was so strong. The fire fueled by being so close.

With a small hum, Jungkook's other hand had slipped under your shirt, holding onto your waist to gently pull you closer. Kissing you was a dream to him, and he wanted every bit of it you let him have. With you, he wanted to do all of the things that lovers do. He wanted to worship and admire every single square inch of your body, because it was what you deserved. He saw you as a goddess that walked the earth, and he got the opportunity to feel your love.

"Jungkook.." You softly whispered his name as you felt his hands beginning to caress the skin of your back. He had never heard a prettier noise. Your boyfriend's touches were making your body warm up, always so sensitive to even the smallest touches from him. Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest when he grabbed ahold of your waist and flipped your positions, his elbows on either side of your head and his knees resting on the outsides of yours.

"Shh... I know, pretty." Jungkook replied quietly. He wasted no more time in pulling the sleep shirt over your head, leaving your upper half exposed to him. His eyes took the time to slowly drag down your exposed skin, his pupils dilated and his lips slightly parted. He looked as if he was in awe as he took a mental picture of the sight of you, how you looked laying back against the sheets, your skin practically glowing cornflower blue.

You were about to get shy about the way that he was observing you at the moment, but any thoughts were quickly wiped from your mind when his lips landed on your neck. Your body shivered in an immediate reaction to his touch, feeling the way he smiled against your skin. His lips worked gently and slow, trailing kisses all across the skin. One of your hands had tangled into his hair, wanting to keep him in place.

His fingers were once again gently rubbing your waist as his wet kisses slowly began to travel down your body, wanting to appreciate every single curve and crevice of your body. Your breath hitched when his tongue began to trace your areola. He always loved paying attention to your breasts, loved the soft skin on them and the way that you moaned so angelically whenever he stimulated you here. Just as expected, he earned one of those moans when his lips latched around your nipple.

He sucked gently, always sure to move his hand to attend to the breast he wasn't paying attention to. He flattened his tongue to move directly against your skin, ever so gently grazing his teeth against your nipple and earning a tug on his hair that made him moan. He finally pulled back only to give your other breast the same exact treatment. Jungkook was always a giver, and he made sure that no spot of your body was left unattended.

After a minute or so of this, it had become too much from you. The pool of arousal between your legs was so severe that it was giving you an uncomfortable sensation. You pulled his head away from your chest, his eyes immediately looking up at you with concern, wondering if he had done anything wrong or accidentally hurt you.

"I'm fine, Koo. I just.. I need you now." You said in an almost pleading tone, feeling borderline desperate. The worry on his features dissolved and instead was replaced with a grin, although you could clearly see the desire in his eyes just as strong as you felt it. He had no complaints though, he would do anything you asked.

Without wasting another moment he was undressing himself, taking off his t-shirt and the pajama pants he'd been wearing. Leaving himself in just his black Calvin Klein boxers that was enough to make any woman drool at the sight. Yet, this man was the one practically drooling at you while he was gently pulling down both your shorts and panties. This was a sight that Jungkook would give up everything to see. He wouldn't trade you for all the fame and fortune in the world. He had won the lottery with you.

"You're so damn beautiful.." Jungkook said without much thought, his tatted hands moving to rest on your thighs. They massaged the flesh gently, taking the time to appreciate the softness of your thighs. It was always one of his favorite parts of you. He had spent countless times fixated on your thighs, kissing and touching them. But he knew that tonight, neither of you had much patience. So after a few moments, his hands gently spread your thighs open.

"Such a pretty little pussy as well. Why does every part of you have to be so perfect?" He added on once he got a sight of the mess between your legs. Your cheeks were flushed deep red at his words. He had always been blunt with his words and how he felt about you. Sometimes it made you feel light and happy, other times like now it only fueled the burning fire of desire you felt for your boyfriend.

Not wanting to spend any more time making you shy, he started to give you what you wanted. His middle finger slowly swiped down your pussy, all the way from the hood of your clit to your slit. His eyes watched in wonder as you clenched down on nothing, so desperate to have him inside of you. If it was his choice, he would spend hours doing this. If he knew that it wouldn't torture you, he could be here all day playing with you.

Even though he could tell that you wanted him right at that moment, he always made sure to prep you a little before. Sparing a few moments using his fingers was worth it when he could ease the pain that you felt when his cock initially split you open. The one thing he hated most was seeing you in pain, especially if it was something that he could've prevented. So even though he saw the anticipation burning in your eyes, he didn't give in yet.

Your whole body shuddered when his thumb pressed directly against your clit. He rubbed in slow, small circles. All focus on the way that your back slightly arched off the bed and your hole was desperately fluttering. Just the sight was enough to elicit a groan from him. You drove him absolutely crazy, just as he was doing to you. Even the slight touch of his finger was enough to make your whole body react.

"Jungkook, please-" You started to beg, but was cut off abruptly when you felt his index finger push past your entrance. A moan fell from your lips as you were finally feeling some of the stimulation that you wanted.

"Patience, darling. Let me stretch out you a bit, okay? You're doing so well already." Jungkook muttered. His finger slowly began to pump inside of you while his thumb continued to give attention to your puffy clit. One of the things he loved most was the way that you were always so receptive to everything he gave you. You were so reactive also, unafraid to show him just how good he could make you feel.

A little while later he added his middle finger to join. There was already a sheen layer of sweat covering your body due to everything you were feeling at the moment. He worked ever so gently, fingers slowly scissoring inside of you to try and stretch you out a bit more. He made sure to stimulate your clit the whole time, making it easier for you to open up for him. He spent a few minutes just doing this, fingers curling against the spongy spot he had memorized, just as every other part of your body was to him.

He had spent so many times doing this, that he knew every way your body reacted. He knew what every twitch looked like, every expression on your face. He never got tired of this. How could he ever get bored of watching the one person he loved so much falling apart due to his touch? It was a sight he would never lose.

The closer you came to your climax, the more vocal you became. There were moans coming from your mouth, mumbles of his name, small whimpers. It all rushed through his body and went straight to his already painfully hard erection. Even though it was borderline painful, he didn't mind waiting if it meant you were properly prepared for him.

He stared as your hips began to twitch, knowing your climax was close. He ever so slightly quickened the pace of his thumb against your clit and it was enough to send you over the edge. Your hands that had been resting on his shoulders dug into the skin as your whole body trembled with the force of your orgasm. In just minutes he had you falling apart on his fingers, unable to do anything else but call out for him as he continued to move his fingers inside of you, letting you ride out your high.

He finally pulled his fingers away when he felt the taps on his shoulder, knowing exactly what it meant. You shivered a little when his fingers slipped out of your pussy, his fingers wet with your essence. He wasted no time in bringing his fingers up to his mouth, tasting your release with a deep groan. Just the sight of your boyfriend sat back on his heels with his fingers in his mouth, cock straining his boxers, was enough to immediately turn you on again.

"I need you please, so bad.." You finally uttered after coming back from the overwhelming sensations he'd given to you. Your hands were already on the waistband of his boxers, his eyes intently staring you down as he pulled his clean fingers from his mouth. He watched as you pulled down his boxers, helping you remove them fully. He saw your reaction to the way his cock sprung up to gently hit his stomach, showing just how much he desired you.

You reached out for him immediately, wrapping one of your hands around the base of his erection, drawing out a quiet hiss from under his breath. You barely had time to slide your hand up before he was taking your hand away and pinning you back down to the bed. He looked down at you with so many emotions in his eyes. Love, affection, desire, lust. Everything that you felt for him completely mirrored.

"How could I ever resist you when you sound so pretty for me?" Jungkook questioned quietly, his knees pushing your thighs apart to nestle himself between your legs. His hands held both of yours, pinning them down to the bed. His eyes were locked onto yours, always wanting to stare right into the eyes of his lover as he showed just how much he felt for you.

One of his hands momentarily moved to take ahold of his throbbing cock, rubbing it against your entrance. You were both immediately moaning in your neediness. He knew that there was no way he would be able to last long, not when what he felt for you was so intense. Unable to take anymore of the torture, he finally aligned himself with your entrance, guiding his hips slowly to make sure he didn't hurt you.

"Oh my god, you're so perfect." Jungkook's face fell to the crook of your neck, having to use all of his strength to hold himself back from drilling into you. Your head fell back against the pillow when you felt his cock splitting you open, pushing past your entrance. Your walls were immediately pulsing around him and he swore that he was in heaven. Once he bottomed out he stayed still, free hand going down to rub small patterns into your clit to help you ease up, his lips kissing against the delicate skin of your neck.

"You can move now, please.." You whispered after getting used to the feeling of your boyfriend deep inside of you. His stimulation to your clit helped and now you were just desperate for him to make love to you in the same way he always did.

Jungkook immediately began to move at your permission, hips pulling almost all the way back before he thrusted back into you. Every slight movement of your body was enough to make his cock twitch. From only just a few moments he felt like he was so close to the edge. Every time he felt like he was about to orgasm he would slow down, edging himself to bring you more pleasure. You were always his first priority.

"This cunt is so sweet, baby. Made just for me, hm?" Jungkook asked as his hips rolled against yours. He worked at a steady pace, not wanting to rush things when everything felt so perfect. For once you two didn't have to rush in the fleeting moments during the day before you had things to get done. No, both of you were with each other in the light of the moon, without a worry of a single thing other than each other.

"Yes, Jungkook! Only for you.." You practically whimpered out, back arching and pussy clenching at his sweet praise. That was enough for him to practically lose control of himself. His hands gripped your thighs now, pushing them against your chest so he could reach even deeper into your insides.

"Fuck, that's right. Only for me. Such a good girl for me, aren't you?" His voice was becoming more high pitched, moans borderline raspy at this point. You sounded so sweetly to him, like an angel coming down to bless him personally. Sometimes he wondered if you were actually a dream, but these moments were too real for him.

Your response to his words was a high pitched moan, nails desperately clutching at the sheets the deeper he forced his cock into you, the longer his finger quickly rubbed at your clit. It was all too much, yet you could never get enough of him, of what he gave you. You had always been his good girl, and you always would be. The love of his life, his darling. Every single word he fed to you just made you feel even closer to your climax.

"I love you so much, you know that right? N-never forget that.." Jungkook breathed out with a slight stutter, almost unable to think straight at this point. He was ruining himself right now by how hard he was holding back, his balls painfully aching every time he drove himself back into your sopping pussy.

The sound of your joined moans along with your cunt squelching with every single deep thrust was a melody to him that no other music could ever come close to. No sounds could give him the same amount of satisfaction and feelings as this did. He loved you with every single fiber of his being. He needed you even more than that.

"I l-love you too. I can't.." Your voice was so desperate at this point, unable to formulate any proper sentences. But he knew. He always did when it came to you. He could feel the way your whole body was trembling right now, he could see the way your eyebrows were pulled together and the way you were biting down on your bottom lip. You were close to your second orgasm, and he wanted nothing more than to fill you with all of his love.

"I know, darling. Want to feel you cream my cock. Come for me." Jungkook mumbled into your ear, almost unable to contain himself anymore. Giving you the final push as his lips crashed against yours, reaching your peak for the second time that night. Your body tensed up and thighs trembled, your lips parting in a silent moan.

The sight of you at the height of your pleasure was too much for Jungkook to bear. With a few sharp thrusts into your quivering pussy, he let out a prolonged groan as you felt his cum filling you in long spurts. His hips were pushed flush against yours, his cock quivering as he felt you milk him for all he was worth.

As the both of you came down from your highs he lazily ground his hips against yours a few more times, letting the two of you come down slowly from your highs. Once the both of you winced at the feeling, he pulled out of you, cock now soft and covered in the mess the both of you created. He looked down at your hole, watching with interest as the mix of your cum was spilling from your entrance.

Fighting off the urge to push it back into your used pussy, he got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, coming back with a rag to clean you up before any more of the cum got onto the bedsheets. Like always, he made sure to wipe the both of you down before getting back into the bed right next to you. Not bothering to get back dressed as he just wanted to hold you.

His arms immediately wrapped around you and pulled you closer, causing you to smile. Your body was exhausted but it was the best feeling. The pleasure was still running through your body. Even more importantly, you still felt all of the love from before. He never failed to make you feel loved and appreciated. Your boyfriend was amazing.

"I love you." You mumbled to him, smiling lightly at the song that came on, remembering the music the two of you had been listening to. The moon was still high in the sky, leaving the two of you with more time to lay together. More time to stay in your little bubble without any worries, no thoughts except ones of each other. Being in the comfort of knowing that you loved him, and he loved you just as much.

"I love you too."

in the morning, i'll love the mangled bits of you i'll love you when your lips turn cornflower blue

1K notes · View notes

renewoos · 1 year

Text

Sweetly Devoted (jjk)

➸ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x gn!reader

➸ Genres: angst & tooth-rotting fluff

➸ Themes: love at first sight, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, slight meet cute, comfort

➸ WC: 11k+

➸ Warnings: descriptive mentions of health illnesses (mental & physical), anxiety, depression, detox & withdrawal, very brief mention of self-harm, family neglect

➸ Summary: All you wanted was to get healthier. You were so tired of these brutal health battles and constant doctor visits. You’ve been sick for a while not getting well enough help. Don’t worry, your guardian angel is about to send an angel in human-form straight to your life called Jeon Jungkook.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This was the seventh doctor you had been to and each visit only led to more tears in the end. To say it was frustrating wouldn’t be enough. Tormenting, torturing; perhaps those were the words to closely describe the experiences. An autoimmune disease wasn’t just something you could wave off, especially when you had multiple other health problems. Suffering and feeling the world turn gray suddenly as the life in you started to fade away. You felt like you were losing yourself as each year passed. Depression was rising as high as a tsunami wave.

Four years is how long you’ve been sick and it’s been a ride bumpier than hitting all the potholes while driving. How you became ill? It wasn’t clear at all. You had just woken up one night, drenched in sweat from fear. A night terror was what they called it. The problem was, those night terrors came every single night since the first one until you stopped sleeping for two months. Getting only one to three hours of sleep until finally no sleep at all for the last two weeks. Due to the lack of sleep, your anxiety went off the charts. Shaking and trembling at the slightest of sounds, you stopped eating too. You were scared to death and of what? Not even you knew. You had fainted eventually and had woken up in a hospital room, almost dying of starvation and sleep deprivation but saved with an ambulance call from someone who found you.

The hospital doctor gave you a pill, not bothering to examine you properly. The trust you put in him was huge. You figured maybe you just lost your mind. It’s just anxiety and depression but oh, how wrong you’d be. You recovered for a moment, only to suddenly fall again. Your health had been a bumpy ride and the night terrors (which thankfully did end from the new pill you started) but since then on you were never the same again. The things you once loved, you didn’t anymore. Depression was to blame for that one. You lost bits and pieces of yourself. The bits and pieces scattered around, turning into blank pages and crumbling away. Who were you now? Certainly not that once bright being who could take on the world better. The person who had dreams higher than the clouds above.

Six doctors in a row deemed you crazy, god, how much did those words hurt you. Nobody wants to be called crazy especially not from medical professionals. You thought you’d get used to the word after so many times but you just couldn’t. You didn’t have that strength anymore. The sad part is, the medical professionals didn’t properly look at you. Something was wrong. Thanks to your seventh doctor, who caught it and is trying to pinpoint it now. She believes there is so much more to you. ‘It’s not all in your head. Those doctors are wrong, I will prove it.’ Hopeful for the first time but of course, you also didn’t wanna jinx it. For some reason, every time you mentioned something; it would turn out bad. As if a darkness cloud just followed you overhead constantly. After all, it took years to find someone who believed you and she won’t be the only one.

You did believe you were crazy as things just did not make sense overall, especially before this doctor came along. As time passed, you weren’t just mentally ill with anxiety and depression. You were physically sick and every vein in your body was burning from it. You felt horrid pains in your body, physically too. Your poor body is suffering and you don’t know how to help it. That’s when suddenly, the thought of ‘being crazy couldn’t be right’ hit you. Mustering up the small piece of strength you had to go on, you pushed for doctors until you found her.

The discovery of an autoimmune disease was found except for your case, it was special. ‘Of course it’s special,’ you once scoffed. ‘Nothing for me can be a simple answer.’ Doctors found you a mystery and experimented on you. In the last two years, you had gone through several medical tests. Every two weeks, for months you got to feel needles poking you. Constant checking and testing that drained you. The doctors still deeming you crazy just because the tests they ran didn’t make sense to them. You stood up and walked however, despite the difficult road ahead. You keep on going even if some days, you grab that razor blade and say it’s totally over. Something small in you, is not letting it be over. Something that makes you heal your self inflicted wounds and try to care for yourself. It was a fucked up cycle and you knew that.

The autoimmune disease you had was special because it kept changing from one version to another. The problem is, that’s completely contradicting. One version of the disease kills your energy, makes you ache. You become very sluggish to the point where even taking a shower is hard. Heart rate slows and your face gets puffy. The other version; you are restless, jumpy and anxious. The anxiety jumps and your heart is racing. Yet here you were, switching between the two versions of the disease every few weeks. No wonder you were a mess. In the end, it was decided that a virus was messing you up and from it, you got the lovely gift of a physical nodule in your throat.

Luckily that nodule hasn’t turned into cancer yet and you pray that it never does. Only bothers your throat from time to time and makes swallowing difficult a bit. Nobody wants to go through cancer and your heart has always gone out to people who do have it. You always thought that if it came to that, you wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the news. You figured, you’d completely break and give up.

You had a beloved guardian angel, your therapy dog who has passed away before you found out you were sick. You wore a golden locket around your neck daily in memory of her. An urn necklace with an angel wing attached to it. You believe she is protecting you somehow. Your guardian angel is the only thing you had to hang onto.

Recovering only to relapse again and again; spinning around like a tornado. New symptoms came that made things so difficult again. So here you were, with the seventh doctor. The only woman who believes something is still wrong. Your autoimmune disease was able to calm down, not being too harsh on you and not going through crazy spikes. However, your blood-tests had shown multiple other issues arrive yet again. The tears you held in so strongly burst the minute you got home. Stress levels were ascending up and you just locked yourself alone. Hating to cry in front of others so you just kept to yourself and let it out, in the comfort of your private bedroom.

A second autoimmune disease now found present in your gut this time. The first one being in your throat, a gland whose hormones can affect every organ. The doctor had a plan to detox your body as you found out you also had multiple food allergies causing leaky gut syndrome as well as developing anemia. All were contributing to making you ill. On top of it, the pill that you depended on for the night terrors and insomnia, causes the first autoimmune disease in your throat to worsen. The fear of letting go of the medical drug you depended on for these four years hurt you. How could doctors not tell you that the pill wasn’t supposed to be for years? That it could physically cause a damage. Nobody warned you. You weren’t sure if you could do all this anymore. You would need to start six supplements and you would have to tamper off your current medication by lowering the dosages every two weeks. The pill that saved you years ago in the hospital from night terrors now can be causing more illnesses. Bitterness against doctors is all you felt. Not for this seventh one but still after everything, it would be hard to trust her fully; even if she is different so far.

It was an overload of information and a month to do so much work. You just wondered why and how were you getting so ill. It couldn’t just be that pill. Would it ever end? You felt no comfort because almost everyone around you seemed to be tired of hearing you sick. Your home life wasn’t exactly the best. A father should protect not harm but that’s the life you got. Watching you struggle to move some days from pure exhaustion that the illnesses were causing yet nobody in your family seemed to really give a shit.

Nobody in general.

Except for one person; who didn’t consider you ‘too much’ and definitely cared.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

One day, you met him. Before your seventh doctor had discovered another autoimmune disease and advised you on a strict diet and detox, you made a friend. Jeon Jungkook was his name and you never thought someone like this could exist in the world. To say he is kind is an understatement. Jungkook’s affection went high and far, regardless of how close you were to him. Overall, he was a guy who everyone adored. Sometimes his friends would get annoyed at how close he can get with a stranger. Barely knowing someone and giving them a shoulder to cry on instantly. In your life, you had bullies and abusers mostly. Kindness from humans was slightly strange to you. The only kindness you ever felt purely was those from beloved pets. Being a big animal lover, their comfort and playfulness made you lit up; especially when it came to dogs. The memory of your first and last one always replaying in your mind. She was there for you since you were eleven years old and now you were twenty-seven, losing her at the age of twenty-five. Somehow when you looked at Jungkook, he reminded you of a cute puppy. It made you actually chuckle. You wondered if maybe your guardian angel sent Jeon Jungkook your way, to show you that there are good people in the world still.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Days before; how you and Jungkook met.

You were out running around for errands; the usual grocery shopping and paying bills. Just these tasks were enough to make you lose your energy of course. Being ill and doing what most people called ‘simple tasks,’ wasn’t so simple for you and others alike. Once you had finished paying the bills and buying the groceries, you walked out of the store feeling somewhat weak. As you were taking a long walk in the parking lot with your cart full of bags, the beaming sunlight did not help that weak and tired feeling.

“Why did I have to park so far…” Mumbling at yourself since you chose to park quite the distance due to the recent minor attacks on your car. You felt paranoid parking close as you would always find new scratches on it.

You were half way there until you managed to trip, which embarrassed you but the tired feeling came over making you sigh out and not care if anyone saw anymore. You knew they would ignore you.

However, you would be proven wrong as you noticed the sun wasn’t shining it’s beam directly on you anymore while you were still on the ground. Luckily the cart had not drifted away much and stayed in place since you didn’t shove it. You looked up, taking your eyes off the ground and were met with a man. A devastatingly, beautiful and handsome one at that. Nerves in your stomach formed a bit.

“Are you okay?!” He asked with a worried look as he knelt down to examine you.

Feeling your cheeks grow pink since you weren’t used to this kind of attention, especially not from a handsome guy. He looked to be around your age, maybe slightly older? Though looks could be decieving since you looked younger than your age. At least that’s what others have told you. The words wouldn’t come out of your mouth however only worrying him more.

He brought the back of his hand gently to your forehead, making you freeze. “Woah! You feel really hot!”

You mentally cursed yourself. ‘Damn it. Of course, one of my fevers had to happen now.’

Since the guy was so close and you still hadn’t uttered a word out loud, you took a look into his eyes and suddenly he ripped his hand off you. ‘Is he… flustered?’ You thought this because he suddenly looked very shy himself. It was cute.

“I’m sorry, I must have scared you...” He said, with a voice sounding so sweet. You could listen to it for hours.

“No, sorry. I’m just… out of it...” You finally spoke, making him pause for a moment. A look you couldn’t figure out was on his face as he heard you speak. He then nodded, “should I take you to a nearby immediate care?”

A man you didn’t even know was offering to take you to doctors and it all felt like a strange dream as you couldn’t believe what was happening. Nobody was this kind to you before. Suddenly a car blared it’s horns loudly and didn’t look like it was going to stop. Which is typically the type of stuff you expect in life.

“Oh shit!” The handsome man had cursed, pushing your cart further to the side and grabbing a firm but yet somehow soft hold of your wrist to pull you up. You were extremely light so he was able to do it with ease but also he was completely ripped. This man definitely works out so you were sure he could lift anyone up. You ended up with your head buried into his chest, ‘he smells really nice.’ His hand was still around your wrist. The car speeding past you both.

“What the hell is their problem?!” The man lightly yelled towards the speeding car, obviously appalled by it.

Touch-starved probably described you well as you felt like burning even more from just having your face in his chest. Fevers and charmingly sweet guys were a deadly combo. He was tall and you were a pretty short person. You fit well with him physically somehow, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be there. It felt totally snug and comforting. You quickly pulled away, stopping any more thoughts from surfacing. Your heart was already speeding up and you thought it had to be from never being close with someone like this, ever. There was no way you were actually feeling something for a stranger but was that really the truth? Time would tell.

Your eyes connected as he looked down at you when you pulled apart from him, his wrist leaving your hand. Deep down inside of you, you wish you didn’t just pull away so quickly.

His cheeks were starting to tint pink along with his ears. In this quick moment, you inspected him; dark long ish hair that had a part which complimented his face so well. He had a lot of ear piercings which you admired and even wore a gorgeous bracelet. You noticed he had a lip ring as well which only made him hotter. He had beautiful light cherry colored lips & these wonderful doe-like eyes you could feel yourself get lost in. His skin was incredibly flawless on top of it. He dressed very elegantly almost as if he was a pirate king or something. He had black leather pants on with a white, slightly see-through top and with that you noticed that there seemed to be tattoos on his arm. His hand was visible to show that he had tattoos on there as well. This man had to be extremely popular. He was the actual definition of a ‘Greek God’ to you. Humans never made you feel safe before but him? He definitely gave you a safe feeling to add to the list of pros. Something about his aura felt comforting. He might have looked badass but that face screamed sweet.

“I’m sorry, I keep being touchy-” he started, getting back that flustered look. You wondered how on earth he could be shy in this moment.

You had a very small smile creep on your face, “stop please.” He blinked, mouth slightly open. You were an adult and illnesses or not, you brought that confidence out and got serious. Little ounce of courage mustered up.

“You don’t have to keep saying sorry.” You said as he paid attention to you. “You just pretty much saved my life from that car.”

“It was no problem, anyone would have done the same.” Bashfully, his words came out. He had both confidence and shyness. He showed an out-going side but also got shy, completely fascinating you.

“Not really,” your small smile started looking like a sad one and that made his heart hurt a bit. He continued staring at you as you continued, “people aren’t usually nice to me and not only that, you offered to take me to immediate care. Thank you, really. I appreciate it more than I let on.”

He smiled at you, not wanting to pry about why you said ‘not really.’ He knew you must have had stories to tell, painful ones. “Well a nice and pretty person like you shouldn’t be hurting on the ground, with a fever at that.” That confidence and even perhaps flirty-ness it seems came out of him. The nerves in your tummy reappearing now and your heart picking up it’s pace. “Seriously, are you okay?” He asked.

For some reason, those words started to make you tear up a bit. You’re not the type to show people your tears but hearing someone sound so sincere and asking you that just hit like a ton of bricks.

The guy noticed and panicked, “oh no!” He got closer to you and lightly grabbed your hands to hold, “I’m sorry! Did I say something stupid?”

‘Oh man, how can he be this charming… and the cliche is so real. This only happens in movies and books, doesn’t it?’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

That was only mere days ago and from that moment, he stayed with you. Doing his best to help you in what ever way he could and you found yourself spilling your whole life story to him. You never do this with people but somewhere in your gut, you just knew you could trust him. The words fell out of your mouth so easily that you even got mad at yourself for how open you became with him. He went above and beyond to show that you could trust him, just within these few days.Usually that’s extremely foolish but it felt like you two always knew each other. What you didn’t know at first was how much his heart ached hearing about your life, the abuse and now the suffering of illnesses. He didn’t want to show you his worry but he was so worried. Every night so far, he’d come home and tell his friends about you since he lived with them. He would pray that you wouldn’t get cancer ever and that with each doctor visit, something good would finally come out rather than bad news. Through his own body, he had no idea how terrible you could feel as he was healthy and so fit but he mentally felt parts of your pain.

It sounded beyond impossible and weird that two strangers could just become best friends basically in a matter of a few hours. It happened though, as bizarre as it might be. You learned his name, Jeon Jungkook. He was a little bit younger than you which shocked you due to him looking so manly and strong, but he was four years younger; being twenty-three. Jungkook was definitely playful and a bit teasing; he did it whenever he wanted to cheer you up but he also knew when to be serious. He knew when to pull back and listen to you carefully. When you had medical flare ups; although you would try to hide it from him, not wanting to bother him; he’d just insist on you letting him know. Showering you in affection and comfort was just what Jungkook did. That came in hugs and even cute pecks from his soft, plump lips on your forehead, hands, etc. You learned a lot about how he is and how kind he is to anyone. He would willingly lend a hand to anyone in need. So not only did he look amazing, his personality was one of a kind.

It did secretly make you a little bit jealous though you weren’t sure why. Jungkook is just as affectionate as a loyal puppy that won’t leave your side. His devotion was astounding. So friendly to everybody but a small pang of something not so great would wash over you. You felt stupid feeling at this slight jealousy because you knew the world needed more people like him.

What you also didn’t know was that Jungkook was extra sweet to you and only you, he just did a good job of hiding it. Sure, he could give his friends hugs, light pecks when they cry and even comfort a stranger with a small hug or hand holding but with you? He did it much more. Never having met his friends yet though, as you haven’t known each other long; so you didn’t know that little piece of information. He just knew he had an even more overwhelming urge to comfort you of all people. It wasn’t pity either.

One night you would play gently with your urn necklace, holding it tightly and thanked her. ‘I think, my little angel… that you brought us together. I think you guided him to me. He’s the best friend I never thought I could find, after you of course.’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Present Day

Today was the day you found out more health news and shattered, closing yourself off. Locked up in your bedroom, crying your heart out. The good news is, if this doctor is correct, it should start putting you on the path of recovering. If she is wrong, it’ll hurt you more and you don’t think you could handle another blow. You thought you should be happy although a brutal and strict plan had to be followed but instead, you felt sadness that you had to go and develop another illness plus extra problems. It was exhausting.

Your phone was pinging madly and you knew, only one person could be spamming you right now. You knew Jungkook was waiting at home to hear back from you.

You stopped your crying to go grab your phone but a coughing fit had started. The coughing fits come and go, either from the nodule in your throat sometimes hurting or from the horrid acid reflux you got often; which started damaging your vocal chords just a bit. Your coughing fits could last anywhere between five minutes to forty minutes. Seemed like many minutes would be the one today. You groaned in between a cough.

Several minutes had passed and that’s when your phone started ringing. Obviously Jungkook now was worrying and trying to get a hold of you since you didn’t reply to his texts yet. You tried your best to stifle some coughs and answer the phone.

“H-hello,” you answered with a scratchy throat. A small cough escaping from your mouth. Jungkook on the other end, already frowning at the sound.

“(y/n), is it a coughing fit?” He asked, already knowing you so well within a few weeks and learning your uncontrollable habits.

“Yes…” you barely let out and kept trying to hold it in.

A sigh escaped Jungkook’s lips. His tone was gentle “don’t worry (y/n), don’t hold them in. Let them out. I’ll stay on the line and wait so you’re not alone.”

Your heart melted a bit at that but you still covered the phone as best as you physically could as you let out coughs. Jungkook hated hearing you suffer. He wouldn’t admit it but he was a sensitive person. He heard it muffled through the phone. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do himself. If he had cures, the universe knows he would do anything to cure you himself. Even if he only knew you for a few weeks. Time meant nothing to him when he felt a connection to you from the moment he saw you. What that connection meant, he did not know although he was slightly sure but didn’t want to admit it. All he knew was that he had to befriend you somehow and be here for you afterwards. Of course, he also had to help you that day you met since he saw you collapse in a parking lot. No normal person can ignore that. Sincerely, he did want to befriend you. Not just because you were ill and needed someone, he really thought you were a special person in general especially when you first looked into his eyes and when you first spoke.

When the coughing fit was fully over, you were able to speak with him though your voice sounding raspy now because it always did after a fit. It would return to normal after an hour or so.

“Hey Jungkookie,” you said making him chuckle at bit.

“You okay, dear?” he was pacing around his bedroom as he spoke to you. His friends walking past his room to check in on him since he told them you would get medical news today. His friends knew he was scared of what that news would be. While you on the other end had to stop yourself from melting slightly when you heard the word ‘dear.’ It just sounded so nice coming from him.

“Why do you make me feel like the younger friend sometimes?” you replied, going to lay with your back on the bed. It was true. Jungkook had quite the mature aura during times like these.

“You’re mature and pretty wise but sometimes I just wanna be here for you. It’s okay to have moments of feeling younger. I’m here for you in the moments you feel weak, ok?” He read you well because that is exactly how you felt, weak and he knew you hated it but always assured you that it was okay. “I know I can be immature and perhaps a prankster even but…” he paused for a moment and you continued hanging onto his every word, “I am a man… I can be a strong one and you can lean on me when you need to…”

Both hearts skipped a beat at that. Jungkook started thinking if those were the right words and through the phone you could feel that shyness of his about to consume him so you spoke up quickly, “thank you… you’re the best.”

He was happy to hear that but still, the heat creeping up on his skin didn’t stop the blush from spreading across his face.

“About today Jungkook-” You started as you wanted to tell him what the news was.

“Wait!” He half yelled and you paused. “Can we meet up please? I wanna hear in person.” It felt like the right thing to him and although you didn’t want him knowing you were crying, you couldn’t say no to him at all.

“S-sure…” you stuttered while smacking your forehead with your free hand for stuttering.

“Great! Where do you wanna meet?” He had stopped pacing around his room, feeling grateful you two would meet up now. The happiness in his voice showing. You actually didn’t live far from one another, only fifteen minutes away.

“How about the park nearby? It usually doesn’t have many people around.” You said.

“Sounds good dear, I will see you there soon!” He replied and you said your ‘see ya soon hun’ and hung up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Jungkook was already a few minutes early to the park; he picked an open spot so you could easily find him as you walked through the gates. This park was different from others, in that it was very quiet with few people around. Those few people coming here to mostly meditate since there were many beautiful ponds and gardens around.

You strolled in spotting Jungkook sitting on a bench in the middle. He was already facing you so once he saw you, he started running towards you. You did your best to dry your face before arriving but your eyes were red. You hoped he wouldn’t notice it, hiding behind your glasses somehow.

You couldn’t help but smile when you saw him rush towards you. Something finally cheering you up today. You started walking towards him since running was a bit difficult for you to do right now but he caught up to you quickly so you didn’t even have to walk much.

Instantly, he wrapped his arms around you for a tight but comforting hug. You should have expected it but still weren’t fully able to get used to it. You’re just pretty shocked at how adorable he is despite always seeing him be this way. Receiving affection from Jungkook was common but hard to wrap your head around after being a loner for so long. You would freeze up at first but slowly give in to that comforting and safe-like feeling, lightly hugging him back. When you started doing that (because the first few times you would just stand there), Jungkook always ended up getting that shy feeling. He loved when you would hug him back and show you’re comfortable with him. He would always joke and tell you, ‘oh c’mon, you can give me a stronger hug than that!’ or ‘afraid you’re gonna break me?’ Which flustered you but made you giggle.

Today he didn’t do that; you two just stayed hugging for a bit. Both secretly enjoying it without letting it on. When you both finally broke apart, he took a look at your face and frowned. You knew that he realized you were crying but you knew he also wouldn’t bring it up when you gave him a look that read, ‘don’t wanna talk about it yet…’ Since he would still have to mention it at some point because he wanted you to always know that he was here for you.

He took the cue and grabbed your hand, holding it while guiding you to an empty spot in the park; away from the people meditating. A more secluded area where trees could hide you both a bit. His hand was so warm while yours was so cold.

“Jungkook, don’t let my cold hands ruin your warmth.” You’d try to pull away but he wouldn’t let you. Not looking back at you as you walked a step behind him. He still led you before you reached the exact spot.

“Nonsense, I wanna warm you up. I got enough warmth for the both of us.” He would casually reply and this made your heart beat faster. You only hummed in reply.

It was safe to assume, you probably liked your new best friend a tiny bit more than you thought you should have. You were willing to keep that buried inside you though, hoping this feeling would go away in the future when time starts to pass. It wouldn’t surprise you if he had many people having some kind of a crush towards him. He just makes it way too easy to like him. You had no confidence of him ever having a crush on you back because you knew he was just a natural sweetheart. Plus you thought he was way out of your league.

You made it to the spot and he still didn’t let go of your hand. You both sat down under a pretty and small myrtle tree, blooming pink flowers. His face got serious as he looked at you, still holding your hand. You knew he wanted to know the news now. You took a deep breath, making sure tears won’t start sliding out.

“It’s not good,” you bluntly said and he started frowning a bit but waiting for you to go on. You reminded him a little bit of one of his friends, called Min Yoongi. His friend was blunt so he was okay with you not sugar-coating words. “She found another…” you felt a bit shaky but held strong and his grip on your hand tightened. “I have two autoimmune diseases now and this one harms the gut. But we all know most health comes from your gut and all my stomach issues make sense now.”

He was disappointed and it showed on his face, “why…” he stopped looking directly at your eyes and more towards the ground.

You didn’t know what he meant when he said ‘why.’ “Um-” you started but he cut you off.

“Why is this happening to you? Two autoimmune diseases…?” His voice sounded slightly irritated which you never heard that tone before. “I didn’t even know someone could have more than one… I… what the hell.” Jungkook wasn’t sure what to think anymore at all. All he wanted was for you to finally be happy and he knew, being healthy was your only wish in life. His hand never left yours.

“I hate seeing you suffer and struggle.” Continuing because now you were too shocked to stop his rant. “And I can’t do anything about it which pisses me off honestly,” he didn’t hold back being blunt either and his voice almost cracked.

You decided to step in, “Jungkookie… there is some good news too. I’ll get to it.” It was true because your doctor gave you an extremely difficult set of tasks to focus on but if she was on the right path, it could help you and possibly finally put you in recovery. Nothing good comes easy after all. Trust issues arose in you but you decided to fight that for the sake of cheering up Jungkook.

His eyes looked so sad but he stopped to take a look at your eyes and listen clearly. Hope building up a little bit in him now. “Yeah?”

You nodded, “I’ve been sort of poisoning my body it seems.” At this, his eyebrows furrowed and he started getting a worried look so you quickly went on.

“I’m allergic to a huge list of things… that I didn’t know and kept on eating for god knows how long now. They are healthy foods since I already had a slight strict diet but all contain something I am allergic to. So it’s harming me especially because she said I had something called leaky gut.” You explained and he had no words. He just nodded as a cue for you to continue because you realized he probably doesn’t know what leaky gut is and you don’t really understand much of it either but a small gist.

“So leaky gut… basically we have this wall like a brick wall at our gut. Blocking anything from entering your b-bloodstrea…” you felt shaky and Jungkook took notice. You mentally hated yourself so much from constantly being scared of this stuff. He brought the back of your hand to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on it. You felt butterflies but thanks to this, tears didn’t spill out of you. Instead you got slightly embarrassed. Jungkook wasn’t sure of how else to comfort you so this came naturally to him.

“You don’t have to go on if you can’t, (y/n).” His words were soft and you felt his breath against your hand that he still held close to his lips. You squeezed his hand in response, “n-no, I can finish. Thank you…” you mumbled and his heart fluttered at seeing you blush a bit.

“Okay (y/n), I’m here. Say whatever you can, don’t force it out if it gets too hard.” He shyly said and you gave him a smile. He felt his cheeks get warm so he cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, making you confused.

“Jung-” You started but he replied, “I’m good. Go on.” He put your hand down his to lap again as you sat closely and across each other. Still not letting it go. His eyes met yours again with confidence now.

“Okay…” you mentally toughened up to get back to your explanation, “so this wall protects stuff from entering your bloodstream and for me, my wall is broken. So foods or medications, anything I intake is entering my bloodstream. I also have a huge line of inflammation happening which is causing issues.” Jungkook now understood what was happening since he learned about your first autoimmune disease, he knew there was a similarity.

He spoke, “so things that shouldn’t go into your bloodstream have gone there which triggers your body’s defence.” You nodded and he continued, “To defend your body, it’s gonna go haywire attacking what’s ‘foreign’ which is the foods and stuff. It wants to protect you but it goes overboard and attacks you as well. Just like the autoimmune disease in your throat…” he felt sad now.

“Yes, you got it. She also explained it that way.” You said, “a virus attacked my throat gland and my body attacked the virus but also got confused and started attacking itself. Now my gut, is doing that. She believes another autoimmune disease is present since that’s what they do.”

He let out a sigh, “I am so sorry, (y/n).” You blinked in confusion.

“Why Jungkookie? It’s not your fault.” You took your hand out of his hold and patted his hair gently, “it’s okay.”

“How is it okay? The worst part that I realize now, unlike regular food… you’re putting ones you’re allergic to, into your body… that’s why you’ve been sick a lot and stuck in bathrooms. I get it now, the ‘poisoning’ you’re doing without you even knowing so it’s not your fault. None of this is ever your fault, it’s not the fault of the person who becomes ill. That sounds… scary though.” His emotions were starting to creep out, “and not any other single doctor tried to do something as simple as a food allergy test? How can they be this disappointing and stupid?!” He was a bit angry for sure and the fingers you used to run through his hair, took a hold at the back to bring his head into your chest. Your free one arm, holding the back of his shoulder as best as you can. Even if you tried holding tightly, your grips were always soft. He stopped feeling angry as he heard your heart beat. You never did a bold move yourself. He was shocked for a second but slowly leaned into you. You prayed your heart rate wouldn’t start increasing. His hands wrapped around your waist. “I’m sorry, you are feeling way worse than me… I’ll calm down.” You chuckled, “you are unbelievable Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook got worried hearing that from but you went on, “it’s okay. If it were you in my shoes, I’d feel helpless too. I understand it.”

He sighed in relief, “but still (y/n), I can’t imagine how your body feels…”

“It’s hard but thank you for being here and doing your best to understand it all. You are so kind. It does cheer me up Jungkook, I’m sorry I don’t show it often.” You admitted and his hold on you got slightly stronger. You decided to rest your chin on top of his head, thankful he couldn’t see your face right now as you were a blushing mess.

“(y/n), I know we barely know each other but it feels like you’ve been my…” he stopped himself before confessing a secret he held in, “…best friend for years. I have my best friends but you too now. I’m gonna get you to meet them, I promise you’ll love them. You’re part of my life now and you’re staying, got it?”

A small tear rolled down your cheek as you felt pure joy from his kind words, “thank you. I’m staying, don’t worry. You’re my…” you also almost let a secret out, “best friend too.”

A comfortable silence came around you two as you both just held each other and listened to the sounds of nature. There were sounds of a pond flowing nearby and sweet little birds chirping. The winds would blow ever so slightly, making pink flowers dance around you and Jungkook a few times. Both of you, nevertheless, with racing hearts and blushing cheeks, small smiles painted on your faces. Both of you feeling a bit sad internally for saying the words ‘best friend’ but thinking it’s right. Two oblivious idiots not wanting to ruin a new friendship, especially at a time like this. You felt ashamed of being ill sometimes; honestly you felt gross and wondered how Jungkook wouldn’t be grossed out at you. That always confused you because Jungkook complimented you even on your worst days. Due to your feelings of it, you never once wanted to think of the word, ‘romance.’

While Jungkook was worried that it’d be weird and didn’t want to scare you off, plus the time felt wrong because you were suffering; he thought you really just wanted a best friend only so he hoped his feelings could go away soon.

For him, it was probably love on the day he met you. The day he helped you. He knew because… as cheesy and stupid as it may sound, he heard bells & whistles. You had a fever but did your best and just the way you spoke and tried to carry yourself after the car thing happened, captured his heart on the spot. He knew you didn’t think you were beautiful and he thought how blind you were. When he first heard your voice, he thought you sounded like an angel. The way you treated him once he did take you to immediate care that day, he’d never forget. While on the outside you might appear cold or distant, he knew you were filled with kindness and innocence even. Never once did he believe those people who fell in love at first sight but now? Feeling so foolish for letting it basically happen to him.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

After the comfortable silence, you continued your story of the doctor’s visit. With Jungkook paying lots of attention and trying to understand. He knew a difficult journey was about to begin for you. The detox process, even said by the doctor, would be extremely hard. You had only a very limited option of foods to eat which wouldn’t help you keep a steady weight. You had to tamper off a medication so that could cause anxiety and panic attacks to burst out again. Starting multiple supplements such as iron which you were scared of. You knew iron would be heavy on your stomach and you hated that feeling, it scared you beyond to feel more ill. You definitely had a horrid phobia of being ill. What person wouldn’t though? When you were younger, you never pictured getting real illnesses. Even then, you had that phobia but your phobia came to life. You couldn’t imagine the people that had it worse and were even more ill. They were beyond strong to you. Any person who was suffering, whether small or big, you considered strong no matter what.

You had to be extremely careful and the doctor gave you only a month or two. Blood-tests would get repeated to see if this process is working. Jungkook knew this was a gamble because if the doctor is wrong, you would feel more ill but he did his best to shower you with positive words and actions. He knew what was going to come this month; your moods would go up and down, your panic attacks could restart from withdrawal, it’s gonna be a major adjustment eating only a few foods and ones you weren’t very fond of. He personally felt that this doctor was rushing too much onto you. He felt this should take a longer time and that you should get more time. He knew nothing would be your fault and that you’re gonna try your best thanks to his encouragement. He knows sometimes you wanna give up although you try to hide. If that happens, he will rush to pull you up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

As three weeks passed and the detox process almost a month in, you instantly felt the hit of it on day two. You felt extremely light now-a-days, wondering if you only weighed 1 pound because that’s how it truly felt. It was still taking time to get used to the foods and these foods such as soup for lunch now and some oatmeal for breakfast, weren’t giving you the energy you needed like the foods you were allergic to gave. You will admit though, stomach problems were decreasing which was a positive.

The lowering dose of the pill brought back anxiety attacks indeed. You weren’t sure if this would last but crying spells were becoming common. Some days, there was just nothing to cry about yet you cried out of nowhere. You also weren’t sure if this came from you being afraid of losing the pill because that was possible. The human brain is a powerful tool that can trick you sadly.

During these three weeks, Jungkook did not leave you alone unless on some days you truly couldn’t get out of bed at all. You had gone on a small break from work so luckily you had money saved for this.

You lived with your family who weren’t caring or understanding of this. Although you were a young adult, you couldn’t live alone thanks to your conditions but your family neglected you unless you fainted. Then they would help for a moment but nothing else. Jungkook saw this, being at your home a few times and decided to take matters into his own hands. He convinced his friends to let you move in with them. Granted you were to live with seven men including Jungkook but his friends were good people. He knew they would never do anything to you and knew they would be of help. Plus you needed this and they lived in a big house with a guest room perfect for you.

The doctor warned you, this isn’t a journey you should go through alone nor on your own at all. She even told you to be around caring people.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

An overwhelming amount of guilt was consuming you though. When Jungkook brought two of his friends Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin to help you move out of your house and into theirs, you started a small argument with him. You were beyond shocked that he would offer his home to you and even came with two of his friends against your wishes not to. He told his friends to go grab your things because they were strong while he took you aside to speak with you. He saw you were emotional and didn’t let his friends greet you yet.

“What are you doing!?” You yelled in a raspy voice and the yell wasn’t even very strong as you truly were depleted of power.

He held your shoulders down as you saw his friends moving some of your things out of the house and into a moving truck. Jungkook gave them the layout of your house so they could know how to navigate.

“(y/n), you have to get out of that house. It’s not going to help you at all. You’re feeling very ill and uncomfortable from the detox which is normal but you cannot stay here anymore with these people.” He said firmly and calmly, still holding your shoulders and you looked at him, all red in the face and teary. He knew this was your family but man, did they frustrate him to no ends.

“Why ar…” you choked up when more tears spilled. Jungkook just hugged you. “W-wh” hic, “why…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He said.

Your hands were at the front of his chest and you grabbed a fistful of his shirt, your crying slowing down a lot, “Jungkook, you’re gonna ruin your life for mine you idiot.”

He separated you from him so he could look at you, with confusion written all over his face. Your hands letting go of his shirt. “What on earth are you talking about?” He asked with a frown.

You didn’t take your eyes off of his, calming down the crying and just letting tears silently roll all over your face. “You deserve to be out having fun. You’re younger than me and yet you’re here always caring for me.” Jungkook stopped frowning and felt touched as you went on. “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for me!”

“(y/n), are you-” He said but you stopped him.

“Please stop this Jungkook!” You were slightly angry, “stop doing so much for me!” you half shouted, feeling a bit dizzy. He didn’t speak yet as he knew, more words would pour of you.

“Y-you’re being… so stupid Jungkook! You barely know me!” These words had hurt him now and the look of hurt flashed on his face, making you feel worse. Your heart was pounding in your chest hard.

“Do you really care about time that much…? Does that really matter, how long I’ve known you?” He asked, looking away from you. You bit your lip.

“No… but-” You mumbled.

“But what (y/n),” his eyes focused on you again but you were silent. “Maybe I am just stupid in your eyes…”

A small gasp came out of you as you saw him smile so sadly, “no! That’s not what I think!” You definitely didn’t know how you were standing now as it felt like the world shook from beneath you.

“Then why am I being stupid?” He asked, “do you secretly hate… that I do this?” he looked down at his feet, biting his lip.

“I…” you started but felt sick and then your world turned black. You had fainted and Jungkook caught you in his arms. His friends came over. He didn’t think you would faint now but he should have realized with how frail you looked. Mentally slapping himself for it.

“Are they gonna be okay?” Namjoon asked with a concern look at you. None of his friends actually met you yet but Jungkook told them a lot so they felt like they sort of knew you already.

“They faint a lot sadly, but they will be okay. We have to get them home, ice packs help them a lot.” Jungkook said as he carried you and started walking towards the truck, “are you guys done?” He asked Namjoon and saw Jin coming.

“Yeah, we got it all now.” Namjoon replied, following him. While Jin caught up, putting the last item in the truck. He saw Jungkook gently placing the soon-to-be new house member in the front passenger seat of the car.

“Is this a good idea?” Jin asked out allowed and Jungkook looked at him, “yes. They can’t stay here.”

Namjoon chimed in, “Yeah man… you heard the stories… they need our help.”

“But they didn’t seem too happy…” Jin admitted and Jungkook sighed, “trust me. We’ll talk it out. They’re not well but I trust they will understand and accept the help.” He took a look at you, softly petting your hair. “They’re stubborn and going through a lot but this is the right thing to do.”

Namjoon replied to that, “it’s true. The family didn’t even bother to care about what we were doing… it’s sad actually. Never knew people could be so ignorant… and to their own family.” Jin nodded to that and got into the truck to start driving away from the scene with Jungkook and Namjoon sitting in the back seats since luckily the truck had them.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

You woke up in a room that was unknown to you and felt your eyes blinking into focus. The window showed it was night time but a lamp was lit up in your room. The whole house was quiet. You felt a bit chilly as you realized an ice pack was under your neck as you were laying and a cool washcloth was on your forehead. You slowly got up to sit up straight, putting the ice pack and washcloth aside. You jolted when you looked down and saw Jungkook sitting on the floor, holding your one hand and his head buried into the sheets of the bed, sleeping. You realized this was probably his home that he shared with his friends. You noticed all your stuff was unpacked and everything was set up. You saw a clock on the wall that read 2:00am.

Taking another look at Jungkook, you sighed and lightly moved your hand out of his which ended up waking him.

“(y/n)…?” he asked in a sleepy-like voice, not being loud.

“Yeah, I’m awake…” you whispered, “please go sleep now. I’m feeling better.” More guilt is what you had felt at all this; him and his friends probably setting up your room and him staying here until he passed out. You felt so bad.

Jungkook took a look at your face while you weren’t looking. He was fully waking up and sighed, knowing something was bothering you.

“I know…” he started and you looked at him, “you probably don’t like this, I assume. I promise you, my friends will be nice to you. They know you are dealing with being sick. We like to joke around a lot but we will take it easy. I know you won’t be used to having seven guys around you at first but they’re really like family. They are good guys.”

The frown on your face growing as you felt super grateful but still the guilt was what was eating you alive right now. As if your anxiety picked up on it, you felt a spell of crying coming. You hated being so ‘difficult,’ you thought. Slowly, tears were pouring out. Jungkook had you move slightly as he came to sit on your bed and be closer to you.

“Please (y/n), tell me what else I can do?” Jungkook pleaded as he started wiping the tears off your face.

“Oh Jungkook, y-you…” hic, “are doing so m-much for me” hic, “already.” You blurted out.

A light bulb went off in his head at your sentence, “(y/n)… do you by any chance… feel guilty?” You nodded and cried. He pulled you into a hug.

“No, no shhh” he said so soothingly, “please don’t cry. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about at all.” He tried his best at soothing you down and vanishing your anxiety that came. You realized how much you depended on him. He was the same as your guardian angel. She was the only one who could calm you down and now Jungkook, had that same ability. His protective but affectionately warm embrace, the way he was wiping your tears off before. No other human being gave that secure feeling but you didn’t want to depend on it because it felt wrong to do so. You wanted to be stronger. You didn’t want Jungkook to miss out on life by helping you always.

When the crying stopped and you got a bit tired, he put a space between you two. The hug ending since it lasted for a few minutes but he was still close to you. His hands now on your shoulders.

“Do you feel guilty, (y/n)?” He sincerely asked, still keeping his voice down as his friends were sound asleep in other rooms and you followed in keeping a low volume.

You couldn’t look at his eyes, hesitating but the words came out, “…I do.”

“(y/n), look at me please…” He asked and you did as told, eyes red and puffy from tears. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. You did nothing wrong. My friends and I want to help you, it is no burden at all. They can adjust to things easily plus your battle won’t be forever. (y/n), you will get better. Okay?” His words were too kind for your own good.

“I just don’t want you missing out on having a normal life. You or your friends that I don’t even know yet. It’s gonna be annoying… I’ll have medical flare ups and the adjusting is so slow… I don’t think this will only take two months. That’s too fast,” the guilty words poured out as your eyes looked away again. “I’m the older one yet I’m like a baby basically right now… you’re always spending so much time with me… how can I not feel bad? You’re too nice!” The truth finally and fully came out.

Jungkook cupped your cheeks with his hands and made you look into his eyes, you blushed at the contact.

“You think I would do this for anyone?” He asked you and you had an instant answer, “of course… you always wanna help someone. But I’m just such a difficult case… this is serious and deep-”

“No (y/n),” he stopped you. “it’s true. I wanna help people sometimes especially when it comes to comforting them even if it’s just a little bit of affection to cheer them up. But I wouldn’t go all out like this for just anybody except my best friends of course.”

Confusion was all you felt because you truly believed Jungkook would be extremely devoted to anyone, even if they weren’t friends. Jungkook constantly reminded you of that loyal puppy that you could get mad at but he would still love you with so much stupid love that he’d never leave. Since you weren’t speaking he decided to speak again.

“(y/n), when you said earlier… that I barely know you… does it bother you?” He was slightly worried now at your silence. “Please, tell me what you’re thinking. Don’t be afraid.”

You inhaled a sharp breath slowly letting it out after a few seconds, “no… it doesn’t actually bother me… I’m sorry, I was being pissy earlier but I just think… you’re still too kind for your own good. I don’t want it getting you into trouble or annoying situations. You’re nice to everyone… it can backfire.”

“(y/n), I told you. I would not go this far for just anybody. So get that worry out of your head that you are bothering me. I have time that I spend with my friends and go out a little, we aren’t glued to the hip even if I spend a lot of days with you.”

‘But-” you started and he put a finger on your lips to stop you. His finger on your lips felt so warm.

“No buts. If I have to keep reassuring you because of the anxiety then I will, every single day. It does not bother me at all, my friends will not get bothered either. They understand hardships better than others.” He took his finger off your lips, letting the hand of it gently fall on your shoulder. “I know you’re extremely polite to people you don’t know well and you are very strong in front of others. You do your best to hide your pain from the public. I know that just me and your family members have seen your worst moments but unlike them, it won’t bug me. Yeah, I might get worried sometimes if I don’t catch onto things super quickly but in the end, I will realize.” It truly amazed you how sincere and mature he can get. Despite having a very silly side where he can even bully his friends a bit, not in a mean way but just to tease them; he knew when someone needed him and did his absolute best. It only made your feelings for him grow stronger and frighten you deep down.

“What about your friends… and-” Again, he didn’t want the worries to start up so he had to break your sentence.

“If those sides slowly come out to my friends, they will be understanding. I promise you. My friends have struggled with anxiety before.” You nodded and a took a leap of trust. “And no, I am not sacrificing my ‘fun’ or whatever you think.”

He took a pause, a hand still cupping your cheek because he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold in his feelings anymore. He just hoped it wouldn’t turn everything to shit.

“I want to do this, for you (y/n). Do you understand?” he felt a bit shy, “I’m not doing it cause I feel the need to help you or pity you, I just simply want… to do everything I can for you. Only you… not everybody in the world. Be it hard stuff or easy stuff, sad or happy. I… just want… to be with you. Do you get it now…?”

Oblivious was too weak of a word to describe you, your awareness level was so bad but his words got your heart jumping, more than ever. You didn’t know why but the way he cupped your cheek, stared at you with this charming eyes and the words he spilled; it just made your heart wanna explode.

“You really…” you started and you could see him suddenly hold in a breath, “love helping others don’t you?”

At that, he let out a shaky breath and laughed. He actually let out a quick laugh and shook his head.

“You’re really… way too cute and innocent.” He said after his laugh. Suddenly he got serious and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. A long kiss at that which made you secretly swoon a bit.

“J-Jungkook?” You asked and he pulled his lips away from your forehead. Instead he leaned his forehead onto yours now, with his eyes closed. You were certain your whole face was red now.

“You’re gonna make me say it, won’t you dummy?” You felt his warm breath slightly touch your face.

“I… say what?” You were so curious now and wondered if he could hear how rapidly your heart was going.

He opened his eyes in that moment, “(y/n), this timing is beyond wrong and I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship. I hate that I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I don’t expect anything back so please don’t freak out when I confess this…”

Suddenly his words weighed in heavy on you, like a train coming to an abrupt halt on the tracks. You had no confidence but you couldn’t help but think, ‘confess…? does he… oh my god… he can’t,’ your mind still going but Jungkook stopped it.

Still staring into your eyes and his heart now rapidly picking up the pace too, “I’m in love with you, (y/n).” You let out quite the large gasp and his confession didn’t stop. “I know that sounds so weird and god, this is by far the worst timing in the history of timings but I felt something since day one. I could not stay away from you even if I wanted to… I know it hasn’t been long at all but I feel… so many feelings for you, it’s starting to drive me nuts. It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.” His eyes closed now and you felt he was getting a bit shaky, definitely from nerves and possible guilt. Your heart soared however and you had to let him know what you’ve been hiding.

“Jungkookie, open your eyes please.” You whispered and he let one eye open.

“I’m sorry for this (y/n),” he started pulling his head away from yours as both eyes were now open, expecting rejection but bracing himself for it. He did not want to burden you at your weakest moment. You grabbed his head though, cupping his cheeks now. His eyes widened.

“You idiot…” you uttered and when he went to say, “wha-” you had kissed him completely making his brain fry for a moment until he closed his eyes slowly and kissed you back. It was a soft and sweet gentle kiss but you felt him smiling against your lips which made you smile back. When he pulled away from the kiss first, his face slightly red; you spoke.

“I’m in love with you too…” you admitted and the happiness he felt couldn’t be explained. He pulled you into his usual hug and started planting kisses on the top of your head.

“I can’t believe it…” he barely whispered but you caught it. Somehow the kiss and confession managed to pull you out of any anxiety you felt today. It was strange and new but a good feeling. A surprise you never expected to happen; maybe the universe wanted to hand you something special. You were already thankful for Jungkook coming into your life, so grateful that you wanted to repay him after you got better, if the treatments worked. Now you realized how much you were not a burden to him at all, letting the guilt that was eating you, wash away like it never existed. You definitely understood it now. You understood that you were different, that Jungkook considered you his special someone. It was beyond cliche and never did you think a ‘love at first sight’ type of story was gonna happen to you. Some people argue that time matters but sometimes, you can meet someone and just instantly connect with them. More than people you know for years even; it is real and it can happen. Just like it did for you and him. You thought of your gold urn necklace you wore and smiled, ‘thank you for sending him to me. I know you did.’ You didn’t see it but your urn necklace started glowing ever so lightly, almost as if your guardian angel was trying to say, ‘I only guided his path slightly towards yours. It was meant to be but you’re welcome. Please keep that happiness, for me.’

He stopped planting kisses on the top of your head and rested his chin on it now, slowly rubbing your back in small circles with one hand. “I don’t want to rush you into anything at all. We are going to focus on you getting better first. Everything else, will slowly come later okay?”

You told him, “that is completely okay with me and Jungkookie, thank you so much.”

“For what?” He asked as you two were still in an embrace, bodies relaxing.

“For helping me and for loving me. You are sweetly devoted to me, my dear and I am truly so lucky. Thank you for wanting to wait first as well.” Your words were sincere and he truly felt them, letting out a content sigh.

“Thank you also, (y/n)… for allowing me to be in your life and for loving me back. I promise, it will be worth it.” Jungkook said and with that, you both had gotten sleepy and comfortably fell asleep together. Him holding you as you both slept peacefully and soundly.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This story was inspired by real events I went through. I’ve been sick for 7 years? Gone through 25 doctors. This story is old though! The first disease I was typing about was thyroid & mine switched from hyper to hypo due to it being viral, they concluded. My diagnosis has changed a lot as the doctors were confused always. It’s been hell. My doctor here was wrong about my stomach illness. It’s something else. I had tumors now unfortunately. But I am more accurately diagnosed now & going through a brutal treatment. I got the comment, “this is so inaccurate.” You have no right commenting this & I’ll just block you. You don’t get to invalidate my personal experiences that I shared to create this. Everyone has a different body & goes through illnesses differently. It’s true, my doctors were partly stupid and got half of it wrong but this is still a FANFIC. I just wanted to write a comfort fic for anyone dealing with illness. Something nice. I used real events (from a few yrs ago) as that helps me for writing. The love story is the major fictional part, obviously lol.

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hollyhomburg · 4 months

Text

Before I Leave You (Pt.65)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The truth always comes out one way or another, and with Jimin temporarily whisked away for surgery- it's up to you and yoongi to answer Namjoon's questions.

Tags: Angst, blood, guns, murder, discussions of morality, descriptions of dead bodies, discussion of past spousal abuse, confessions, hurt/comfort, sickfic, hospitals, reconciliation, vmin focus, Trans! tae, Everybody lives nobody dies,

W/c: 15.0k

A/N: this chapter is a bit heavy on the dialogue but! sorry that this chapter came out when it did, we're finally here! sorry for the break in chapters- I got some not great news about a family members health and wanted to spend some extra time with them over the holidays.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The abandoned industrial building rises without warning from the mist and fog. You could almost call in lonely. Although it has its comfort in its stillness, the same way that monsters that do not move do not instill fear. A foe vanquished but not forgotten.

The body. The dust. The puddle of blood by the door is more than enough evidence for plausible deniability. The faint splatter of it here and there like confetti left after a parade, or flower petals that fall in spring and pile up like snow.

Moonbyul stands in the doorway, like a pagan in a house of God. Out of place and out of mind. Dark coat unblemished by dust or blood. She doesn’t stoop to touch the ground or try and clean up the evidence from Jimin and Jin’s misbegotten hours here. She doesn’t think Hobi’s name, although she knows it.

God does she know it.

She’s poured over all the files that her men have collected about your pack for weeks now. Searching out weaknesses like a snake searches rabbit holes for soft fur and an easy meal. She’d spent the most time lingering over Tae’s file. The photos that shift from short hair to long, lipstick that she finds too pink and distasteful.

Red is better color.

She'd spent a long time pouring over Jin’s too because she’d needed to. Jimin and her cousins had been glossed over. She already knows enough about them to last a lifetime.

But only one file had given her paper cuts. Revenge on paper is not as sweet as it should be.

She doesn’t need to read that file anymore. Although she hears the words that the youth said so many months ago on repeat, you and Hobi in the coffee shop caught only on security camera. “I think I heard something I shouldn’t have”. As well as the ones that followed.

Contrary to popular belief, Moonbyul doesn’t like killing. She views it only as a necessity. She looks at the blood on the floor without any disgust. It’s been a long time since she’s cleaned up any alpha's mess, and she’s not going to start now.

She looks down at the blood and smiles. It’s a rare thing- seeing her smile. It’s different from her grin that bares her teeth. Sharped incisors changed and honed just before she’d been appointed the head of the moon family.

She remembers her mother's words when she’d looked at them in the mirror for the first time, She remembers that she could still taste the file they'd used to carve them. Metallic, like blood on her tongue.

“All the most dangerous alphas have fangs; you’ll need to learn to use them if you want to fill your father’s shoes.”

Familial death is more of a rite of passage than a time for mourning in the family. A time when power shifts and secrets get covered up or aired out. Like the moon waxing and waning.

Moonbyul hadn’t been born with fangs, the way alphas always are. Moonbyul hadn’t been born with a lot of things.

A smiling Moonbyul is either a happy or a bloodthirsty one. And a happy Moonbyul, when properly stroked- means they get privileges.

Privileges in their pack, amount to small little things most of the time. A night where they don’t have to take the heat inducers. A night where they can wear comfy sweats instead of the lingerie and stifling silk. But if they're extra sweet and good they get better things. A free evening where they can see their families as long as they come home before sunrise.

“Do you think he’s dead?” Solar is dressed as her clone today, with stockings pulled up her milky thighs flashing beneath the long hem. Extra extra cute in the way that she loops her arm into Moonbyuls and pouts. as if she's upset that her alpha is paying more attention to the murder than her.

She still smells faintly of sex, moonbyul, and her own ginger scent. Not like fresh cut- the kind that baked goods have around Christmas time.

Moonbyul smiles, rapping her long nails against where Solar's arm is curled around hers clinging to her as if her life depends on it. It does- Moonbyul and her both know it does. But Solar has always been a good pet. She’s never needed quite as much correction as Wheein who likes to know exactly where her cage ends and begins, or like Hyejin- who needs nearly as much combatting and careful maneuvering as their enemies.

She'd learned from Hyejin. Had never let the others have quite as much freedom or get used to challenging her. There's a reason why Hyejin had demanded to wear her mating mark and why Moonbyul had let her have it.

Omega's however sweet and however docile, still need a cage. Moonbyul's only ever tried to branch out of her tastes once, and she won't ever do it again. Disastrous as alphas are. They make piss-poor lovers and disobedient needy pets.

She sighs. Alphas and their messes.

In truth, the pack could use someone truly obedient, someone for whom being good is as easy as breathing to balance them out. The pack could use a good pup. The pack could use you.

Moonbyul burns in want, stewing in it ravenous. It’s not love, it’s not even really lust either. She’s never been an easily sated person. She’s always wanted too much, always finished the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. She’s always wanted everything.

That’s why she’s smiling, because she’s about to get it.

She stands a little straighter, holding out her palm. “Why don’t we go see.” Moonbyul doesn’t turn to leave, however. She doesn't walk towards the body dumped at the back of the building, still bearing Jin's fingerprints. A single strand of hair would do it. She doesn’t make any move other than to reach into her pocket and take out a lighter.

She thinks of the family's assassins; The Bee, The Spider and The Wolf. She thinks of Park Jimin. The snake. Hopefully either dead or in the process of dying.

The body in the back of the building is another one of hers. She never thought that this would be the end of the Wolf, he'd always been one of their most reliable killers. Always showed up on time too, an exemplary employee. Not to be easily duped. She'll have to figure this out and pin down What did him in. But that will take time and energy, only one of which she has.

He was only supposed to wait in the wings and ensure that neither Park Jimin nor Kim Seokjin left this building alive, nothing more.

Sometimes things are just coincidences, sometimes if you're lucky- they're just bad luck.

This doesn't feel like bad luck, this feels like revenge.

Solar makes a noise in her throat, a questioning chirp. She really is trying to be her cutest right now. Moonbyul won’t reward her in a way that she likes, a way that she wants. Even songbirds still feel the itch to fly. Clipped wings and all.

She looks at the flame, sparking.

“Why won’t you just leave the evidence? Wouldn’t that be easier?” Solar is not as good as Hyejin at handling this sort of thing, not as experienced. But she’s currently handling other more important things. Things that need her finer touch.

Solar doesn’t understand why Moonbyuls going to light this place up like a fucking Christmas tree and do Seokjin’s dirty work for him. Solar is only a pup, and she’s been kept like that because Moonbyul likes pupish omegas.

She likes the innocence and obedience that people who weren't made for this kind of life have. So eager to please that they're willing to debase their souls. There is no greater sacrifice, no greater sign of love than someone willing to do anything for you.

This also happens to be why she likes you. Why she will have you. because neither Solar nor Wheein have ever been as good at this as you were. The perfect medium between sinful and pious. Cute even while killing.

And 5 is a prettier number than 4. 3 pups for her and Hyejin is a prettier number than 2. They need more than one for each.

Just one more pup, and then their collection will be complete. It took them so long to find the right one, so much trial and error. (Moonbyul despises errors. She's going to try and kill one before this is through)

She won’t let you slip through their grasp, not a second time. You should have never been Yoongi's.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to leave this as evidence? So that the FBI gets them all? We could just like- buy them off if they wanted to take her too-”

“Oh pup” she croons, half gentle. Flicking the lighter and letting it burn in front of her face before she tosses it The soil is so soaked through with gasoline that it lights as easily as a candle, slowly spreading from wall to wall and then- in the doorway, until the heat is too much and they have to move away.

“That wouldn’t be any fun now, would it?”

~-~

(Now, Namjoon)

Namjoon’s shirt is soaked so thoroughly with blood that it makes him cold. The hospital always feels cold, goosebumps rise like a mini mountain ranges on his arms. The hair pressed down where the blood has dried.

It’s not his first time covered in blood, but this time feels different.

He’s shivering, teeth clattering. His hands shake almost too bad to fill out the intake paperwork because he’d rather do it now than later. Park Jimin (registered, Kim) Alpha, weight 165 lbs (give or take a few). Blood type AB. No medications. No known allergies, no known prior conditions. No no no.

No.

Namjoon’s hands shake. He leaves Jimin’s ‘occupation’ blank.

Yoongi sits a few paces back, staring vacantly off into space. On the surface Namjoon would assume that he’s having no reaction and is feeling absolutely heartless about everything that's happened in the last 3 hours. But his breath becomes stuttered every few minutes, like he has to manually force himself to inhale and exhale. Like it’s taking all of Yoongi’s faculties to keep himself breathing and upright and not in a heap on the floor having a mental breakdown.

He kind of wishes Yoongi was crying and screaming instead. Then at least- Namjoon would feel like he had to be the strong one.

He can't get the feeling of stabbing Jimin out of his head, or the sound it it, the wet squelch of knife hitting skin.

Namjoon has cut into people thousands if not hundreds of thousands of times by now. But he’s only cut into someone he loves once, and god Namjoon never wants to do it again- won’t ever be able to touch warm prone flesh and hurt it, not after Minnie. Never again.

The pen in his hand weighs a million pounds. He contemplates asking for a piece of paper and writing out his resignation letter. he breathes in for 5 and out for 9, then sets it down on the clipboard and slides it across the counter for the nurse to take. Namjoon doesn’t hear her quiet tone asking him if he's alright and if there's anything she can do. just shakes his head on instinct.

There is a gaggle of nurses looking around the corner peering at Dr. Kim.

"Do you think he dresses like that outside of work hours?" "I never thought I'd be so attracted to jeans and a tee-shirt." Giggling in quiet voices.

It feels so strange, to hear people laughing while Jimin is dying. Namjoon almost wants to go bite their heads off and report them for poor bedside manner to the hospital manager.

This is Namjoon’s hospital. But Namjoon can’t find it in himself to smile or say thank you to the nurse when she tells him that the second she gets any news on Jimin, he'll be the first to know. He can’t say anything through the mountain of emotion in his throat.

If Namjoon’s love is a mountain, then his anguish is a river threatening to drown him. Yoongi smells like it- the line where water turns clear to brackish, Yoongi’s miserable scent has always smelled like the churning sea and now something that feels an awful lot like seasickness makes Namjoon sway on his feet.

Since he’s done with the paperwork, he promptly returns to Yoongi’s side and sits down. Only once he's sure he's stationary, does he pull a nearby wastebasket over between his knees to upend the contents of his stomach. It hits the top of old gauze pads crumpled up at the bottom and smelling like piss with a surprisingly violent sound, drawing the gaze of more than one person in the waiting room. At least it finally quiets the giggles.

Yoongi’s hand finds Namjoon’s knee, the hole in his jeans, The back of his ribs, stroking once twice. steady and hard the way that Namjoon likes. And Namjoon wishes he could snap at Yoongi. Wishes he didn’t curl into the touch. Wishes he was angrier. Wishes Jimin was perfectly alive and breathing and not going to-

Yoongi’s hand settles on the back of Namjoon’s neck, his throat, pulse hammering, thudding.

They’re just kids and Yoongi's hands are calloused. They've always been.

Deep down Namjoon still feels like he’s only 8 years old. Is just a kid and just starting to understand that the world isn’t all just papercuts and skinned knees; that it means something when people hurt. That it means something when you tell them you won’t let them hurt anymore.

He remembers promising Jimin something similar- a long time ago, the summer they all first met:

Namjoon remembers Jimin, standing in the apartment that wasn't theirs yet, after a movie night, the first movie night that the pack had ever had togeather (not totally togeather, becuase you and hobi hadn't been there yet but still).

It was the first time Namjoon had ever seen Jimin in something other than a designer sweater, sweats and a tee-shirt so ordinary that Namjoon was surprised it didn't make him look less intimidating. standing in the doorway waiting for Namjoon to notice him and look up from his medical journal.

"Yes Minnie? Did you need something?" jimin had shifted from foot to foot. looking up at jimin, a first slice of vulnerability in his eyes.

"Tae and Jungkook, they've got a bit of pain in them. I want to know what you intend to do with it." namjoon set his glasses to the side, the papers rustling as he forgets his reason.

"Make it better hopefully?" Namjoon had been struck with how oddly intense he'd been. Jimin had opened up with time and had gone sweet and trusting with the right amount of love. But he'd looked intimidating in his dark clothes and the wrinkle between his eyes like he was used to furrowing his eyebrows. A cute detail that Namjoon already wants to brush away. To touch. to cradle. To love.

He'll catalogue all of Park Jimin's cutest things in time. He'll treat love as a scavenger hunt, to find the softness in someone who tries so outwardly to be gruff and strong.

Namjoon's stained sleep clothes and promises felt all the more shabby in comparison.

"I need you to promise."

Namjoon had avoided it. Unwilling to meet his words with the same intensity. Jimin doesn't take chances with Jungkook and Tae. Tae's low laugh from the other room, Yoongi's matching grumble, overly fond already. Overly fond from the beginning.

"What about you? Doesn't everyone have pain?"

"Just promise."

"I promise to look after the three of you." Jimin had scoffed. Puffing up like a bird with too many feathers.

"I don't need looking after. Just them- when I go away for work."

"I know, but let me do it anyway." Smiling at the pretty alpha was so easy, so easy with the sounds of Jungkook and Jin's giggles in the other room. Laughter building itself into the walls around them.

"I promise not to hurt you or them. You have my word."

Namjoon lied, Namjoon lied back then and he didn't even know it. He upends his stomach again and Yoongi rubs down his spine.

“He’s not going to die Joon, he’s going to be fine.” Namjoon continues to empty his stomach, it’s pizza mostly, a bit of coffee, and a half-digested protein bar from this morning as well.

“Does hurting the people you love ever get easier?” Namjoon asks. Honesty, not anger in his tone.

Yoongi’s hair has gotten longer and hangs in his eyes. Yoongi never grew his hair out before you, always kept it in that short black sort of coconutty style. It makes him look older and all the more beautiful. Namjoon wonders if that’s why you like it; How regal it makes your mate look.

Yoongi has asked so much of Namjoon in the last few years, from leaving to coming back and bringing you. To hiding the mating mark and now this. Namjoon tells himself he should care more about Yoongi's lies and less about the fact that he just lied, period.

“No,” Yoongi grimaces. He always gets so quiet when things are bad, steady in that consistent way. He still hasn't stopped stroking Namjoon's back. Namjoon knows this is simply all Yoongi knows how to do, his first instinct is to love and not much else. “It was never easy.”

It’s not weird that they re-hash this now. Every time Namjoon learns more about how and why Yoongi left, he understands it more.

“I threw up too, just so you know- when I left, leaving you made me so sick that I hurled the second I got on that train. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” He blinks back wetness in his eyes, “I don't remember if I've ever told you that."

Namjoon nods. He can't remember right now either.

It’s been an hour or so now since Yoongi drove fast but steady steady steady to the hospital. Namjoon in the back while he stabilized Jimin in much the same fashion that you'd done earlier. The rest of the pack should be here soon. The three of you only lingered behind to clean up a bit and change your clothes, covered with blood and muck and who knows what else.

Yoongi sits like a statue and Namjoon can’t even look at him, can’t ask any questions or even start because he already feels like he’s yelling, and Namjoon hates yelling. This isn't isn’t exactly the most private venue for secrets that could land Jimin in jail.

Namjoon's still not entirely convinced that stabbing him was worth it. Namjoon’s brain is dizzy with terror. He’s still dizzy when he turns and sees you walking through the front doors to his hospital, Jin and Hobi trailing behind you.

He remembers the way you’d looked the day they’d gotten you checked out for the first time; how you’d run and pressed your face to his chest and buried your face there like just the sound of Namjoon's heart could make every demon and monster go away. For a moment, Namjoon thinks you might do the same thing. But your steps are measured, slow, and purposeful.

Namjoons eyes train on you, following you as you walk,

Yoongi stands, leaving Namjoon sitting with a cooling pail of vomit between his legs. he says something to you, to jin, but you don't pause, continuing until you're standing in front of him.

You don't say anything to him, just peer into the bucket and make a disgusted face down at it. Namjoon's teeth feel too sharp in his mouth with such a tense jaw.

Hoseok is on the phone, face gaunt and tired-looking. He must have drawn the short end of the stick and has the job of calling Jungkook and Tae and telling them what happened. They really shouldn’t drive themselves, but all Namjoon can reasonably do is restrain himself from cornering you and Jin and start demanding answers.

He barely even turns to Jin when the omega goes up to the desk and asks if they can have a room, please. A private place for the pack to nurse their worries and not crowd the already-packed waiting room. Namjoon couldn’t name the nurse by name right now if he wanted to but he’s well known here and well-liked too. They give them one of the adjacent exam rooms to wait- Jimin’s surgery will take a few hours more, and there isn’t anything to do but wait.

Terrible terrible waiting, terrible terrible time. (You get a bucket when you want a drop and a drop when you want a deluge. Time only comes in two increments; too much or not enough.)

You drop a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder without a word. After some beckoning Namjoon follows you into the room. Legs shaking and sluggish at first. The pack is quiet even as the door closes.

But once Namjoon's moving it’s hard to stop, careening like a comet or a bullet in your direction. Staggering.

You’d taken precious seconds to change your blood stained clothes before following Namjoon. You all pulled on the first things you could get your hands on. Which is how you’ve ended up in your mate’s shirt and Jungkook’s jacket, and how Hoseok’s in one of Tae’s extra-large pink sleep shirts stained from hair dye underneath Namjoon’s puffer coat and a pair of jungkook's grey work out sweats. Jin had been a little bit more purposeful- his sweatpants match- his matching purple set.

Namjoon's shirt is dark from blood, the bloodstain drying crusty, sticking to his skin like glue.

To say that Namjoon is angry is an understatement; rage rolls off of him in quiet unending ripples carrying with it the strength to change the pack for good if he’s not careful. He doesn't walk to the chairs no- he bee-lines it to you.

He watches you startle and turn, eyes widening. You do not make to move out of his path.

Namjoon has never made you feel afraid before, but the pulse of it, the threat of fear is there as he backs you against the wall until your body lies against it. Looming over your head, so much taller and larger than you.

An alpha. An alpha hunting.

You tremble but you do not move to avoid him when he corners you.

He has a tiny bit of blood on his face, and a hairline splatter, almost like a constellation of stars across his temple. His fingers are harsh and shaking when they dig into your cheeks, pinching them until your lips open. Your knees tremble and you press your palm flat against the wall.

His scent thunders so thick and consuming that you can't physically stop yourself from trying to bear your throat. Namjoon stops you, holding you in place.

His eyes are dark and heavy-lidded as he looks down at you, He pinches your cheeks harder, shakinging you just a little. His voice is steady when he speaks, inches away from low snarl.

“Never make me hurt one of our packmates again.” You swallow, although it’s hard. And he pinches again- harder before you get a chance to speak- to try and defend why you brandished that knife at Jimin hours ago. Namjoon holds your face the same way he held the knife- tenderly.

“I mean it. Never.”

He holds you there for a second longer before he lets you go, leaving you gasping. His hand slides down your throat to your shoulder and neck, You would fall over if it wasn't for his touch keeping you up.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, a few stingy tears making themselves known at the corner of your eyes. Namjoon rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. His spiky silver hair hits your skin. Rough.

After a second, he opens them again. Nodding. And his scent loses its bitter edge. He guides you to rest against his chest. You take big gasps of his scent now that he's giving you permission. Your instincts thunder through you so viciously that you can't physically stop yourself from tilting your neck and bearing your throat.

Namjoon just drags a finger down it, humming. He holds you up, arms around you, a shield and a cage.

“It’s not okay.” I’m not okay, “but I forgive you.” Your knees do give out when Namjoon’s hand brushes the back of your neck, fingers digging in, a half hearted scruff that feels a bit like an apology of his own.

Even if he wants to be angry, anger won’t accomplish anything. Especially with you. His anger will only make you afraid and although Namjoon cannot be expected to control his emotions all the time, you have no reason to fear him.

He's never going to hurt you. He promised.

He walks you two strides, to put you into a chair next to Yoongi. Your mate takes you from him. The plastic chair makes a loud scraping noise against the linoleum floor. Jin's on your other side looking just as tired as the rest of you.

You'll get no rest tonight, sleeping in Jimin's hospital room when he gets out of surgery. Every fitful dream interrupted by the oxygen monitor on his arm. the first few hours when it will go off twice and prompt examination of his vasculature and operation site as well as a fresh dose of blood thinners. The biggest danger going forward will be blood clots; one too large in jimin's arm could leave his hand with nerve damage, numb for good.

But for now, Namjoon looks down at you, yoongi, and jin sitting in the plastic chairs. Secret, killer, and agent. All there in a pretty little row. Namjoon glares down at the three of you and crosses his arms.

“Explain.” Namjoon can’t wait another minute, another second. “Explain to me everything going on in my pack that I don't know about right now or I swear I'll-"

Yoongi scoffs, "That you'll what? That you'll tear us apart Namjoon? that you'll leave? Look around you- we're already falling to pieces."

"You don't honestly expect me not to be angry that I had to stab jimin do you-"

"No, but don't yell at her. I have my limits."

"I wish I was one of those limits, but i'm clearly not since you insist on fucking over our pack-"

Jin turns, cutting them off from their argument with the true shock of his next words. You know that's what he's intending- but it sort of backfires. "Joonie, Don't get mad at Yoongi or her for this. Especially since I'm the one who shot Jimin. It was an accident."

You flinch, then put your head in your hands, namjoon's scent goes impossibly thick and angry for a second before he gets it under control. You physically watch Namjoon's hackles raise. watch Yoongi push back in his chair, leg jumping, running his hands through his hair looking from you to Jin, then back again.

"Jin, you should have kept that to yourself."

"What the fuck-"

Namjoon looks like he doesn't know weather to cry or laugh. "You don't just shoot someone on accident-"

Jin's got the best scoff, one worthy of music screens not just the quiet tomb of this room. Your relationship that's dying all around you. "You don't just stab someone on accident either and yet here we are-"

There are some secrets you take to the grave and others that you keep for too long, so long that they make a grave out of you. Keeping secrets is like keeping someone else's heart beating, you run out of blood eventually.

You might vomit up the truth all over the hospital floor just like Namjoon did a few minutes ago. You feel sick and light-headed and sort of like you might have low blood sugar. namjoon's scent, angry alpha affects you more than you realize.

You start to teater, and their next biting words get extinguished when you almost fall out of the chair, nearly sliding to the floor before Namjoon catches you. One knee dully aches as he picks you up like you weigh nothing, ducking in close, real concern in his face, all his anger gone.

"Shit are you okay?"

"Pup?"

"Just got lightheaded-" Whatever it was, your lightheadedness will have to wait for another time. It's honestly probably just stress. Your heart feels like it's beating extra fast, extra hard.

Namjoon places you gently back in the chair and Yoongi touches your shoulder, the trio of their concerned faces that you swat away.

"We should wait for Hobi." You still owe him an explanation- for earlier and these aren't the kind of secrets you say more than you have to. A cup of water gets thrust into your hands and for once, they fall silent.

When Hobi comes in he’s mostly quiet holding his phone in his hand. Looking at you from across the room. His soulful eyes watching you, head tipping to the side in deference.

"Tae's in-" It takes him a second to gather his words. "Tae's in a fucking state. She was crying so hard that Jungkook had to call them an Uber. I just told her Jimin had been stabbed and nothing else because I didn't know what to tell her."

"That's probably for the best we don't have to-" your mate starts, but Namjoon cuts him off.

"No, no more secrets. Not between any of us."

Hoseok still has a hickey from you on the side of his neck, from you earlier. Jin's fingers skim down the one on your shoulder where a mirrored mark sits knocking you out of your Hobi-induced reverie, red and bruising from his mouth. Jin raises his eyebrow at you, but now is not the time to tell him about you and hobi.

"We've got like- maybe 30 minutes until they get here."

You swallow past a lump in your throat, readying yourself for it, “better make it quick then,” Namjoon waits, Seokjin is silent, watching you, gaze flickering from you to Hobi every few blinks. Yoongi holds onto your knee, sliding his palm down to your hand, your wrist. Finger digging into the sensitive scent gland there and rubbing comforting circles.

You swallow hard. “We’re all on each other's sides, right?”

“Of course,” Jin crosses his arms like he's offended you even had to ask. You bite back your retort. Namjoon nods, so does Hobi.

Your hair flops as you nod. But you still look to Yoongi to wait for permission. After a breath your mate nods and spreads his hands, giving you the floor.

If there’s one thing you know it’s that you can’t do this alone, you and Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin, Jimin and Tae. You and Hobi. There is no separation here, not when it comes to your safety. Each of you cannot keep the rest safe on your own.

“I met Jimin a few months before I met Yoongi, I…Yoongi’s family-”

Yoongi resists the temptation to speak for about 10 seconds when you fall silent. You can sense the moment that the truth shifts, when it explodes at Yoongi’s tongue. Unbidden but frantic and relieving like it's taken Yoongi's whole being to keep all this in.

“My family, I've never liked calling them that. Blood means nothing to me, you guys, you guys were always my family more than them." The pack is silent but you lace your hands with his and nudge his thigh with yours, encouraging him to go on.

"My relatives run the largest network of organized crime on the East Coast, from Boston to Miami. Everything from racketeering to prostitution to production and distribution of pharmaceutical-grade opioids. cover ups, sale of illegal weapons, extorsion of political officials and blackmail. If you can think of a crime they do it. If you can think of a way to make money, they've got their hands in it. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t go home- why my parents-”

Yoongi breaks off, his voice going small and quiet. Wounds he doesn’t talk about- even to you.

“There’s maybe 200 of us now. I’ve got a lot of fucking aunts and uncles. We try to stay in our lanes, our cities, and deal only in our respective crimes. There's a lot of politics and a lot of people vying for control here and there, but only alphas are allowed to lead, omega's increases the bonds of power in other ways and beta's- You know how rare beta's are- in my family- i'm treated as second only to the family head. Being a beta offered me certain liberties. Other freedoms. Not only to avoid most of the violent stuff- but to leave and move around without asking for permission. It's like a get out of hell free card. Not everyone gets that."

You snort, crossing your arms over your chest, “You mean they didn’t exactly expect you to go about popping heirs or advancing the family business through murder and ruining innocent people's lives. not like they expected with me."

Hoseok shrivels his nose, He looks from you to Yoongi- eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “hang on i thought- Are you guys trying to say you’re fucking related or-”

“Oh my god daisy-”

You splutter, “gross- No, we’re not fucking like- blood-related or anything.” You tap your chest. "I'm non family- brought in from the outside. Which means I was just about as valuable as piss to the aunts. In our world the only reason to mate or marry is for power- any other reason and your spouse is considered disposable." you cross your legs, admitting something you've kept to yourself, not a secret just a suspicion. "Geumjae never intended to keep me around forever."

Seokjin makes a strangled noise and Namjoon runs his hands through his hair, “Jesus Christ.”

Hobi raises his hands bare, “Sorry! You’re not doing a good job of explaining!”

"Well, if you just gave me a minute to get to the point-" Yoongi seems to shake himself, to put himself together. “Like she said- I'm not expected to partake in the family buisness, Only alphas are allotted that 'honor'." Yoongi puts the words in quotations and adds an eye roll for good measure.

"Mainly- I’m treated as some sort of glorified advice Column. People call and ask me things and I’m required to answer or else they’d hunt me down and drag me back. They bring me in to coordinate stuff because I'm a beta and I keep everyone calm and keep them from killing each other and shooting out their squabbles. I tried to keep you guys safe that’s why I left but-“

Jin’s hand goes to yours, nodding, because he understands. “But not why you stayed away.”

“No. It's not.” The pack's eyes naturally stray to you.

“The heads of houses report to the family head and she directs them to me if they need a beta's touch. Only she hasn't- the new Don hasn't asked anything of me since taking power. When the last one died- my grandparents- I left to help with the transition. But the new Don doesn't need me."

You flinch, you try to hide it but Yoongi turns, ferreting out that there's a secret there without you having to confess it. Your voice is darker than they’ve ever heard. "It's not that she doesn't need you- it's that she doesn't trust you."

Yoongi tries not to sound accusatory. "Her trust isn't something you should be after."

“It’s not- promise I just-” You pick at a stray thread on your pants.

The linoleum floor in front of you is polished so clean that you can see your reflection in it. "She shouldn't trust me either- and she knows it. Believe me she knows it."

Now it's Yoongi's turn to look at you. To pull himself to the edge of his chair to try and get in front of you. A wordless question that he dares not speak.

"Before you, I was already trying to do whatever I had to survive. including doing what everyone else did back in that hellhole and ask for help-"

Yoongi stands, to much energy and panic in his body to stay seated. “You didn’t." This is a fight and a confession you shouldn’t have In front of the rest of them.

You look up at Yoongi, eyes beseeching. He's quiet and you make your words as measured and soft as you can. "I asked your grandparents first- and then when she told me as long as I did what she said she'd get me out I-"

“She’s more dangerous than Geumjae, you can’t have honestly been trying to trade one captor for another."

The whole pack is silent, watching the two of you. Not really understanding. But Jin- Jin pursues his lips. You don't know how he knows but he does.

Yoongi’s face goes truly white. Yoongi’s hands are shaking. Shaking until he grabs the handles of your chair, knees to the ground, bowed in front of you. Letting your silence stew for a second.

Maybe it’s a terrible thing to blame it on her, you hadn’t fought not to kill. But back then it had really felt like your only way out, the only way to escape the ever-suffocating pressure of trying not to die.

“For what it’s worth, I had no idea what they meant to you when she made me help her kill them.”

Something shifts in Yoongi’s stature, from surprise and shock to resignation so quickly you almost miss it. A tense set to his jaw but a tight-lipped understanding as his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and he rests his forehead on your knees.

He's very careful in his words. Slow with them and intentional when he lifts his head and stands. You don't know if they're lies. “Just like my parents, just like all of us in the family, I knew their days were numbered anyway.” But you loved them once you want to say. You’re not sure why you want Yoongi to be angry at you.

“I won’t apologize, not for what I had to do to survive.”

Yoongi cradles your cheek. Something dark and conflicted in his eyes.

“I know, but I’d forgive you anyway, even if you did it out of anger.”

“And Jimin?” Namjoon asks, Yoongi's hand drops from your cheek. "How does he connect to all of that?"

“I met him first, I asked him.” You hesitate. This isn't your secret to tell and you don't even know all of it- like how jimin even became an assassin or started killing. you don't know his motives. It's one thing to confess your own sins, and another to talk about Jimin's to them without his say-so.

Jin darts forward, holding your hand in both of his, “Whatever we say in this room- I’d never dream of recording. I’m not on anyone’s side but ours.” Jin screws his eyes shut tight, willing you and Yoongi to believe him. "Even with the FBI thing."

Namjoon whirls. He doesn't have to ask before Jin's spilling it. telling the truth.

Jin is measured with his speech, but it's his turn. No more secrets, that's what you've all agreed. "I've been working with the FBI for the last 8 years. They approached me back before we met Joonie- because of my proximity to Yoongi. First as an informant, then an agent and now the head of the task force.

"I only did it because I figured out that being a part of them was the easiest way to keep Yoongi out of jail. As long as I could reasonably assume I was the only one trusted and close enough to keep an eye on him, I could keep all the truly damning evidence out of their hands."

Jin turns to you, resisting the urge to reach out to you for his own comfort, you're looking at him like he's got three heads, but he smiles down at you, that pup-soft smile that he saves just for you when you're both nesting.

"I kept your name off of the photocopies of the recipie you used to kill them. Don't worry, no one but us knows." You look at Jin with new eyes, not a double agent but not an enemy either. Somewhere in between. Your heart pulses, and you grip his hand back.

Yoongi pulls his hands through his hair, angry, his tone grave "Well there's your reason-"

Hobi has been so quiet you've honestly almost forgotten he was there. Elbows balanced on his knees and watching the three of you on trial for Namjoon. "Answer to what."

"You don't understand Jin, you don't understand the laws of the family much less the one you've broken."

"The reason why someone's trying to kill you, if anyone finds out that Y/n killed them- everyone connected to them is fair game."

"You mean-"

"We're all done, if anyone finds out, that's probably why the new head of house was trying to take Jin out- to tie up a loose end."

"Hang on, I'm getting confused again." Hobi runs his hands through his hair, and it fluffs up. "Jimin's what again?"

“Jimin is an assassin, I asked Jimin to kill my husband for me but he said no.” You pick at a strand of thread on your pants, unwilling to look up and meet any of their eyes, not Namjoon’s or Jin’s. “Met him back when we meant nothing to each other. He still feels guilty for not saving me. We talked it out a while ago. It’s okay- I did it myself eventually- didn’t need anyone’s help.”

You look up at Yoongi and he looks like he might want to laugh or cry and can't pick which. “I don’t know much else about Jimin other than that he kills for the family."

"They've got people for everything, a few assassin's they keep on retainer," Yoongi clarifies. "People that anyone can hire if you've got the money for it. There are a few names that the family puts on a no-kill list, Children, the pack mates of the ruling pack, the heads of houses and their immediate packmates. If anyone kills a person on the no-kill list- their life is forfeit. I'm on it by default. The pack mates of the beta are on it too, All of you are on it. No one should be trying to kill you."

Yoongi's never paid much attention to the list, the waxing and waning names and faces and photos. he's been on it since before he was born and with no intent to kill or harm anyone and put himself even potentially in harm's way, he's never sought it out.

Maybe if he had, things would go differently.

A cold rush of realization rushes over you. "That's why Jimin and Jin ended up there" You stand up, adrenaline in your hands. "She was hoping they'd take each other out so she wouldn't have to break family law to kill them."

Yoongi shakes his head, "Something about this doesn’t feel right- something about this isn’t normal.”

Hobi’s phone dings before you can hash it out anymore. He looks down in his lap. “They're here,” he’s up and out of the chair, heading out the door and into the hall so quickly that the rest of you have to chase after him. Namjoon tugs you to your feet, staring at Yoongi and Jin. "Was that enough?" you ask.

"We'll talk more later." is all he says. But he does lace his hands with yours and pull you after Hobi. Your legs are so short you have to take two steps for every one of theirs.

“I wish Tae and Kookie were here for that-“

"They should know” your mate agrees, keeping pace with you in the hallway, dropping back with you when Namjoon accidentally lets go in his haste to get through the door. You make eye contact with Yoongi when you turn. Your back to one of those push doors using your body weight to push through it.

You pause, waiting with Yoongi on the other side of them.

“If anyone tells her about Minnie- should be me.”

(You know exactly how you’ll do it, you’ll tell Tae the story of you just like this. You’ll tell it like a story, with author notes and playlists near the end. You’ll talk about Jimin just like this; all of the good parts and all of the bad all in one. So that she might truly understand that having a choice doesn't always mean you're free to do whats right.)

Yoongi nods, “I can tell Jungkook. I think if I do it gently, he won’t get shocked enough to have a seizure.”

You pause before the doors open, to have just a moment with the two of you, just you and him leaning against it. He shifts closer, not holding you, hands by his side but he's close enough that you could rest your head on his shoulder. You do rest your head on his shoulder. Just to hear his heartbeat thud sluggish and heaven-sent against your ear.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” It feels like it’s been ages and ages since you’ve had a quiet moment with him like this. You resolve to have one, to make space for him when this is all over. A private date with just the two of you maybe. Whenever Jimin comes home. “To help with Jimin.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I killed your grandparents.”

“They weren’t good people,” Yoongi shrugs, you've never seen a sadder shrug. “I always knew that. They-” yoongi breaks off, stealing himself for a quiet confession. "I think they might have had a hand in killing my parent. She didn't like it- that they had so much power over me. Future of the family and all."

"You've never said-"

Yoongi pushes through the door, and a high pitched keening cuts off your next words. "Later."

You push through the door and Tae and Jungkook are already there. Entering through the outside doors with a puff of air into Namjoon and Jin's waiting arms. Namjoon holds Tae up as she wails and wails. Her cry high like a nightingale. Jungkook looks pale and shaky, settled under Hobi's shoulder clearly in shock.

You cut through them, ducking under Jin's outstretched arm and colliding with Tae before anyone else can join Namjoon in holding her. falling to little heap on the linoleum floor, just at the precipice of the long hallway that connects to the patient rooms and the nurse's stations to other surgical suites. Drawing countless stars, countless looks from passersby as Tae's sobs renew themselves, loud and broken.

You clinging to each other. Her arms around your shoulders, cradling your head like it's the last safe thing in the universe.

“Jimin,” her voice breaks, throat closing around nothing. Sobs wet and angry, hot tears dripping down her cheeks, big and unabated by hope. "Minnie- My Minnie-"

You cling back, getting your hands on her cheeks. “He’s gonna be fine, he’ll be alright- here- here let me help you up. We've got you Tae-”

Jungkook looks a bit better, a little bit less like he’s drowning. Jin reaches for him while you hold onto Tae. And JK’s nostrils flare, he steps back, looking Jin up and down. Tae clings to you on the floor of the hospital and you look up at them. At Jin and Jungkook, standing a pace apart. Jungkook's hands keep Jin from coming any closer.

“You smell like Jimin does when he comes home from his trips, you smell like gunpowder. And mucky-” Jungkook's voice breaks, "Jin? Why do you smell like blood?"

There are too many people around, too many people for something like this. You're just glad It’s a quiet omission, Jungkook’s scent is level and so is his breath.

Maybe you should give him a lot more credit. Yoongi might not have to tell him much.

Tae's tears hit your collarbones as she crushes you, sobbing loudly in your ear, immune to the string of sweet nothings that fall from your lips. Whispered against her temple.

To everyone else in the hallway, rushing in the late-night hum, you and Tae look just the way that you’d expect; Two girls clinging to each other, one tall and the other short. One an alpha and the other an omega.

The rest of the pack is so blinded by their concern and their terror that they don’t look up. They don’t look down the hall to see the figure standing there watching them. One second the hallway is empty of the dark figure and then next she's there- waiting for you.

Her pine and medicine scent is disguised by the smell of death that lingers here. Although more than 2 of the people there might recognize it if they had the patience to sniff it out. They're too distracted by Yoongi dragging Jungkook close and whispering in his ear to keep his voice down.

Moonbyul watches the scene from the end of the hall. Two coffees in her hands. One for her and one for you because she always assumes that you'll go with her when she asks. No matter what’s going on with your pack, Moonbyul is not the kind of person who you say no to. She’ll ask nicely for you to come one more time.

Or so she thought. Looking at you and Tae holding each other is giving her other ideas.

To love a man is something she's always been able to dismiss as a mistake. Little pups just don't know what they need and even less what they want. She'd been prepared to deal with you loving them, the alphas, on paper, even the admittedly pretty omega male currently in her cousin's arms.

But another woman? Even one like that?

Rage is not like other sorts of anger, it’s not like fire burning to take. Achieng to burn until all the heat has worked itself out. Rage is quiet, rage is darkness and a hunger that needs to consume. That will destroy even if you try to stop it.

It's one thing to know that you love a woman besides her, and another to see you peck kisses along her tearstained cheeks. The rage builds as she watches you cup that female alpha’s cheeks. She watches you brush her hair back from her eyes and tuck it behind her ears. She’s got honeyed skin and smudged lipstick (so inelegant) you wipe her tears away and kiss her cheek.

But what makes Moonbyul’s hands tighten into claws, her metal-tipped nails piercing the coffee cups and making them drip onto the ground, wet and hot, is the way you smile at her.

Moonbyul’s rage is like a tidal wave.

By the time the rest of the pack looks up, the hallway is empty except for a puddle of coffee on the linoleum floor and two discarded cups. One with red lipstick stains and the other without.

~-~

(18 hours later, Jimin)

Tae’s cheek is so soft. That’s the first thing that Jimin’s aware of as he wakes from surgery.

Coming out of general anesthesia feels like being a rickety buoy on the busy ocean. One second bobbing to the surface and the next crashing below the waves and taking on water. Sloshy. Everything feels sloshy.

He only feels her at first- not the hospital bed, not the scratchy sheets, Just the feeling of her cheek resting against the palm of his hand. Her gentle breath tickling his fingers in her sleep.

Jimin will always know the particular beat and cadence of Tae’s body. Would know it if the sun got snuffed out like a candle. Would know her breath anywhere because it’s the very fuel to Jimin’s soul, the very thing that sets the tempo to the heart monitor beating out a pleasant rhythm in the midafternoon hum.

Her skin is pillowy and sweet beneath Jimin’s flayed fingers, limp and cold to the touch because of the whole almost bleeding out thing. He doesn’t know it yet, but he's needed 9 units of blood in the past 24 hours. 4 right away, and 3 during the surgery where they removed the knife and stitched his arm together. And another two units just after.

Compared to his own body, Tae feels so warm.

At least Jimin can still feel his left hand. The doctors that stitched him back together must have done a bang-up job, Namjoon even more so. a lot of people can put an arm back together, a whole slew of them, but not many surgeons could stab someone carefully enough so as to not permanently injure them. There are only so many people that he would trust to stab him.

But Jimin trusts Namjoon with a whole lot more than just that.

When he opens his eyes (a task of herculean proportions) Namjoon isn’t there, it’s just Tae in one of those absurdly uncomfortable hospital chairs. She’s bent over his hospital bed in what must surely be an uncomfortable position to sleep in. Her back arched like invisible wings weigh her down. She slept like that, sprawled as close as she could get to Jimin without the nurses waking her up and telling her not to crowd him.

The smudged mascara on her cheeks flake like falling stars, little trails there were tears rendered it useless. Jimin wipes away a black droplet like he's banishing a ghost. She’s cried so much over the last 10 hours, most of her makeup gone and sporting a bit of 5 o’clock shadow too. The faint roughness that Jimin feels no more than once. Because to derive sensory pleasure from that feels…wrong.

He looks at the ceiling, wondering where the others are. He feels the edge of his body, the spot where the wound begins and the pain ends. Who knew gunshots and stab wounds could make you feel so sore? and tired too? Exhaustion pins his body to the bed like a butterfly to a corkboard.

A wire connected to his good hand tugs, But he ignores it in favor of cradling Tae's head and combing through the tangles in her hair. It's gotten so long now, just to her shoulders, but the bits feel so soft and gauzy against his fingertips. He wishes he could feel it forever. It’s much much better than the 5 o’clock shadow.

It takes a dozen passes for Tae to stir.

And then she startles awake, flinching into being. Fresh tears disrupt the mascara flecks as she beholds her soulmate and nearly tugs herself across his bed to get her hands on his face. To hold his cheeks.

To say that Tae has looked better would be accurate for jimin to say but the words would never grace Jimin’s lips. Not even close. Even with a crusty face and greasy hair- Tae looks gorgeous- so pretty that his heart pulses dangerously quickly. so quickly that jimin's suprised the nurses don't come by and check on him.

Maybe they haven’t given him enough opioids for his shoulder because for a second he feels his heartbeat ricochet through his whole body. To his fingers where he's touching her and back to his heart. Every echo and ripple Tae Tae Tae.

Tae bends over Jimin’s body. Her hands go to his face, fingers touching his smile, and thumbs pressed to his faint crow's feet and twinkling eyes. Clutching at him like he’s her lifeline (he is, a red string of fate that keeps her from drowning, always. She was stupid not to use it like an anchor).

“Pup told me.” She says, a note of finality in her voice, lower lip trembling, tears falling anew “told me you kept talking about me even when you were stabbed" she goes quiet, whispering the words like she's scared someone might be listening in.

"Pup told me everything."

Jimin’s eyes flick from her lips to her face, her body, everything. His hands are trembling, chest building with breaths until they’re heaving and the realization of just how much everything she must know hits him.

Tae knows Jimin well enough to know what a panic attack looks like- knows enough how to soothe it. Knows just to hold on and wait for it to pass. jimin's hands splay and flex, rubbing her skin once, twice, and then a third time in an effort to self-soothe.

"It's okay,"

"You mean you're not-" Jimin's heart monitor is going so wild that Tae has to tell him to calm down. Has to run her fingers up and down his scent glands on his neck, nipping at them to settle him. "You're not angry that I'm-"

That I'm a killer, that I'm a monster. That I've kept everything from you. Jimin readies himself, preparing himself for the speech he always knew he'd have to give. You don't understand, I didn't have a choice, I wouldn't have chosen this- I didn't I just. I never killed people who didn't deserve it- because I know that you'd hate that.

For the first time in their lives, Tae and Jimin are sitting across from each other- without a single secret to each of their consciousness. both of them free and perilously unmoored for it.

But there are no words that Tae needs when she looks up at him and smiles. Wetness at the corner of her eyes.

Seeing Jimin in the hospital bed had not felt like Patroclus and Achilles, it hadn't even felt like Orpheus and Eurydice. There was no roaring anguish. The kind that follows when people leave you too soon. Or the bitter vindication that happens when people leave at just the right time (it’s the worst when people leave like that. Either linger or make me miss you. Stay too long or leave me early. Either way is fine. I’ll feel more human if I’ve got longing or hatred to feel).

In truth seeing Jimin in the hospital bed, wires and hooks connected to him- keeping him alive and keeping him breathing, had felt like a second chance. She's not going to let something as simple as a secret spoil it.

Tae knows she should want to know more about Jimin's job as an assassin and should want to ask more questions (if not to understand her soulmate better, than for writing material). She Should be more revolted or disturbed or upset that her literal soulmate kills people for a living, but at the moment, all she can find in herself is just to be glad that Jimin is fucking alive.

It’s funny, how much your priorities can shift.

Jimin looks like he doesn't believe her. "Tae, you can't even kill spiders."

"Would you care?" Jimin falls silent. "Would you care if it was me in your position?"

Jimin swallows hard and winces. He doesn’t have to ask for a sip of water, because Tae has already gotten it for him by the time his good hand closes over his throat. His shoulder is bound so tightly in bandages that he can hardly shift it. Can't reach up to stop himself from spilling a bit of the water down his chin. Her nails (red polished and chipped) wipe away a drop on his lips.

(There's more that you weren't able to tell her just yet; a lot about you and Yoongi and Jin. You've decided to save the bulk of how Jimin ended up in the hospital bed until after Jimin woke up. Later when you can get her on her own you'll tell her. Probably after Jimin's discharged from the hospital. But the other secrets can wait for now).

It won’t really hit her until later. When she’s in her closet looking at all of her pretty things and designer clothes. Fingers toeing along the fine black cashmere sweaters, to the maroon dresses, to the scarlet ones, stopping just before she reaches the pink. The Dior, the Versache, the McQueen. It will only be then that she'll put two and two together and realize they were all paid for with blood money. With people’s lives.

It will bother her then; it doesn’t bother her right now. It will never bother her enough to think about leaving jimin.

How do you make the choice? What to condemn a loved one for? How do you pin down your line of intolerance when it's someone you love with your whole being? Can you decide at all or is it something that your soul chooses for you? The weight of one sin for another. what you're willing to go through.

They would have died anyway. Even if Jimin hadn't killed them, they had someone out there willing enough to pay for their death and they'd have died anyway she rationalizes. We're all going to die anyway.

Maybe it’s a silver lining that Tae no longer believes in the same kind of sin and wrongness that Jimin does. Doesn’t believe in God and heaven at all. Tae has always believed in soulmates more and believed in Jimin the most. More than any god or afterlife.

“I should be angry, anyone else probably would be but-” Tae turns her cheek into Jimin’s fingers, pressing her lips to his trigger finger. Eyes shining when she looks at him. “I’ve wasted too much of my life being angry at you, wasted too much of it feeling anything but love for you- Jimin- if you died, I-”

Jimin cradles Tae's cheek. “I’m sorry for Namjoon’s rut- for what I said. Didn’t mean it. Never mean it if I'm mean-” Jimin’s finger rubs across Tae’s lips, the wide part of his palm splayed across her jaw, and so much is said in that little touch. But they look at each other and laugh. "Not like Noodle."

It shocks a laugh out of Tae and she presses her temple to Jimin's jaw, feels his smile when the joint moves. She realizes that Jimin's still a little high. Probably too doped up on pain medicine to have this conversation but oh well.

“I never thought it would take you getting stabbed for me to realize it,” her lip trembles, “I don’t want to waste another second being angry with you.”

“I don’t want to waste another second with you either. Won't even sleep,” his eyelashes flutter, struggling to stay awake.

Tae pulls herself more firmly on top of the bed and Jimin shifts a little, wakes a little more when she slings a leg carefully over his hips. Being gentle, still conscious of his physical state. He uses his good arm to pull her up and up until She’s splayed across his lap.

Kissing Tae never loses its edge, it always feels like their first kiss, sweet and with that knotted bundle of anticipation. Jimin sits up into the kiss, sits up until his shoulder protests and he hisses into the kiss. "Don't strain yourself minnie-"

"Don't care just-" he pulls her hips snugly. After that words are sparse as they kiss, again and again, lips working together. Sloppy messy love kisses. Every breath tastes like love, every second of it. She giggles pulling apart for a second to get her breath, the heartbeat monitors in the corner going wild. Breath that washes over Jimin like a gust of spring air, cinnamon flower sweat, and heady. Tae’s kisses are better than a first sip of coffee or a breath of fresh air. (They’re better than living, just a little bit).

“If I was any less sore, I’d ask you to bite me right now.”

Tae grins, and it’s a special secret smile. “You said something like that to Pup too."

“I’m so lucky I get to be yours- don't want to waste the luck-" Tae shakes her head stubbornly pulling back.

"I don’t think that you should say you’re lucky. I’m so lucky that this person loved me, or I’m so lucky that I got to love them. Because when it comes down to it, love and luck are not the same thing. Love is not a single event, like winning the lottery, or finding a 100-dollar bill. Love is a choice and you have to choose it a thousand times. Every day you choose it. Luck is such a cop-out. It’s been really nice.”

“God, I hope I’m more than just nice.”

Tae smiles, “Shut up” She goes a little pale. “Actually don’t shut up with me like- ever. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” She plays with Jimin’s hands, “Is that when either of us- whoever- goes first-“ Jimin’s grip goes knuckle tight on her waist, he's coming out of it, a little more lucid with every breath. Waking up more.

“When one of us dies- I don’t want to question if I ever loved you enough, I don't want to rely on just luck. I don’t want to think about the days that I could have gone for coffee with you or could have kissed you longer. I don’t want to think that I didn’t get exactly what I wanted and you didn’t get exactly what you wanted too.

"I want to give you one extra kiss every time so that you get twice as much as you would have gotten otherwise. I just want to think that it was nice, that every moment of it was nice- even when we fought, I want to look back on it and think ‘even the sad parts were nice and I got more than I thought I would.' No luck involved.”

She grins down at him, that same youthful grin she’s had her whole life, Jimin thinks of it sometimes- how many times she’s smiled this way and he hasn’t seen. How many more he will see.

“Also, y/n says that you’re allowed to mate me, but not marry me. She says my ring finger belongs to her.”

Jimin slides up the bed, flipping her over, supporting himself with his good hand, sending her sprawling and giggling. His growl is half hearted but promising. Tae laces her hand in his greasy blonde hair and it stays there.

It stays there.

~-~

The rest of Jimin’s hospital stay goes a bit like this:

There is a pair of suits outside the window, dark and imposing. plain clothes police officers watching and waiting like vultures. They’ve already taken statements from the pack but demand to hear from Park Jimin himself.

Lies from the source always taste the sweetest.

There is a story ironed out and penned in stolen moments, you curled up in one packmate's lap and transferred to another, "the pup" Jin had said, the youngest, was not taking her alpha's stabbing well. "She just needs a bit of soothing, sorry." The suits are charmed enough by two cuddling omega's that they don't notice your mouth pressed to their ears, like a game of cuddly murderous telephone.

The story gets ironed out easily, you’d all gone out for pizza, had come home to find Jimin bleeding in your kitchen.

“It’s pretty normal for Jimin to be reckless with his health. I’m not surprised he tried to come home and see if I could stitch him up himself. I'm a doctor at his hospital- Dr. Kim, pack alpha and head of neurosurgery. The knife- you should know I touched it on accident he wanted to remove it himself and I just had to stop him- I’m sorry- I should have known better I was just- so shaken.” Namjoon is a passable liar at best.

Jungkook has folded himself under your mate’s arm, and Jin’s too. He’s still vaguely shaking, bunny eyes wider than usual. In a little bit, Namjoon will drag him over to an empty exam room for a quick check-up. Just to make sure he isn't about to seize on the floor. Yoongi will go with him, Will tell him the truth about all of this then.

But what, with his comment earlier, you wouldn't be surprised if Jungkook has already figured it out on his own.

Jimin doesn’t even need to be coached into remembering it. The police don’t even think of not letting the pack see him, after seeing Tae’s teary eyes. A pretty girl is the best distraction, and the pack has two pretty girls that smell sour and need to tend to their alpha before the police get a chance too.

They’re impatient as they watch you and Tae fold yourself over Jimin’s barely aware body, more preoccupied with looking at your asses than they don’t see your lips moving against Jimin’s ear, mistaking your shaking for the racking sobs. And your quiet words for sweet nothings.

Hobi had barely leashed a growl, and resisted the urge to step in front of you and block you both from their sight.

The story is so easy and simple- a true case of Ockham’s razor. The simplest story with the least details is the most likely to be believed. the story Jimin tells the police goes like this;

Earlier yesterday, a crazy fan of the idol group he guards that must have followed him from his schedule with intent to learn his schedule and get closer to them. Her description is so ordinary that they’ll never find her because she doesn’t exist. Any person found will easily be made inculpable; either by alibi or honesty. Not that the law cares much about honesty, nor that any of you care about possibly implicating a stranger.

Love always did make people go to extremes, it's easily believable.

Nothing else matters. Besides keeping everyone safe. You're united against this.

Once they're gone, other promises get made:

“I want you to quit, this is too dangerous, if something like this happens to you again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.”

“We need to make sure we travel in pairs until we figure out what’s going on, why they're targeting Jimin and Jin.”

“I can ask some of my contacts-“

“You’ll do no such thing Yoongi.”

“Do you think we should be like- Armed? Just in case?”

“I don’t think more guns will solve anything but…Maybe.”

In a stolen moment, Namjoon corners you outside Jimin's hospital bedroom, he's holding three bags of takeout, not that Jimin will really be able to eat much of it. The opioids keep down his appetite. That doesn't meant the pack won't try to fuss. As it is, Jimin hasn't been interested in anything but kissing Tae and holding her hand. Pouting whenever the nurses make tae leave.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier," Namjoon has always found apologies easy and has never had so much of an ego that it would get in the way of any of it.

"It's alright, between you and me, I think it was kind of justified." You'd probably yell at all of them if they convinced you to stab Yoongi or tae or any of them.

"No more secrets, okay? Promise me this is the last one." It's easy to promise Namjoon that, so easy. To let him scent you, rubbing his coffee liquor scent all over your shoulder.

(But it's not about the promises that you make, it's about the ones that you break.)

You sit out in the hallway the following morning, still in the same clothes and starting to feel a little bit filthy because of it. None of you have gone home yet. Hobi sits next to you and Jungkook's on the other side.

They’re just checking Jimin’s stitches again, and his hospital room just got a bit crowded. The prospect of checkout is maybe a day away. Tonight is the last you'll have to spend at the hospital.

It was also time to talk over Jimin’s opioid regimen, and the doctor had been nearly delighted when Namjoon had stepped up and taken the lead, reassuring the doctor under no uncertain terms that Namjoon would manage them. You can forgive him for thinking a little too much with his hindbrain. If Namjoon leaned any more into his instincts you'd be worried he was close to going into a rut again.

“Is this what it’s like when I’m in the hospital?” Jungkook asks, sucking on some skittles. It's more sugar than he should be allowed to have especially during a high-stress situation. But Jungkook’s taking the panic to get a little bit of freedom. You cast a glance at Tae, at Yoongi and Jin, standing by the door looking like he’s about ready to twitch out of his skin with the effort it's taking him to stand outside.

Jin had apologized- him and Namjoon both, and Jimin had accepted it instantly. "If I trust anyone to shoot and stab me- it's you two so-"

"But-" they'd argued, but eventually Jimin had turned a little scary, a little threatening. showing a hint maybe- of a persona they're all unused to but you're not. Jimin can be firm when he needs to be. A quick retort of-

"Forcing me to comfort you over something I'm not upset about is not the way to make me forgive you." Shut them up for good (or at least for now).

“Yeah, pretty much.” You hold out your hand for some skittles and he gives you a few. Hobi grimaces and reaches over to take the orange ones out of your palm. He knows you don’t like those. He replaces them with a few green ones.

"It’s fucking boring. I should get you guys like- a DS or something for Christmas.”

“Don’t tell Minnie or he’ll blow all his money on-“ You cringe at your words and Hobi flinches. Jungkook just chews on his candies, they smack against his teeth with a hard clinking sound.

There is still some of Jimin's blood under Hobi's fingernails. You see it when he reaches over to take your Skittles.

The next time Hobi moves to take your Skittles, you grab his hand and pull him to his feet. "Come on."

You lead Hoseok into the women's bathroom, underneath the curious eye of the nurses, all the stalls are empty so you pull him over to the counter.

“You’ve got some- stuff- under your nails- let me.” You rip a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and wet them. You clean Hobi’s hands diligently and he lets you.

He stays quiet, Hobi's been quiet for the last day or so. He hasn't done more than whisper a few quiet words to Jimin and stay close. He didn't say anything during your secret confession yesterday. Didn't ask a single question and the silence bleeds now as you scrub the clean-smelling soap against his skin. Your anxiety builds, and you scrub a little harder. His fingers remain limp in your touch.

“Say something- say anything okay? I need to know that you’re not-” not angry with me. That you don't hate me- that you still love-.

Hobi pulls you against his shoulder in a single clean movement. His wet hands hit your stomach when he grabs your hips. Your nose brushing his throat, his nose skimming your hairline.

“I’m trying not to take too much energy from Jimin- trying not to- be a mess- because he's the only one who deserves the packs attention. I'm not even sure if I am a mess about it. Sure that sucked but-" he sighs, "you and I are kinda like- uniquely able to handle things like this cuz of-" he doesn't need to finish his sentence. Hoseok's lips brush your ear, lips touching your skin, and- he pulls back, smiling softly. It's a tired smile but there it is- soft and special and just for you.

“You’re taking things, remarkably well considering the last time we…”

“The last time we had to deal with something like this?”

You hum, scrubbing a paper towel hard over the ends of Hobi's hands. The white paper goes orange-red with dried blood. "Give it time. There’s still a few weeks for me to go crazy this time.”

But this time, you have a feeling that it will be different. Although Hobi was there the last time- and played an instrumental role in making sure you didn't literally fall apart. It's different now. Right now, your hands tangle on the counter, holding on, even though you try to clean his hands of blood. Holding on is more important, neither of you tries and pull away. You don't have the energy for shyness.

What's more intimate? Sex or murder?

He huffs a small frustrated sound and stoops to rest his forehead against your shoulder, leaning almost all of his weight on you. You take it.

“Maybe this time I’ll take a crack at going crazy.” You laugh, stopping your brushing and just settling for holding him. Hips resting against the counter. The two of you rest, just for a moment.

Your nose against the side of his face where his undercut presses to your skin, spiky. "Still have that train ticket?" Hobi humms, taking a deep greedy breath of your scent to steady himself.

You're not expecting him to pull back and kiss you, but his lips are dry but warm, faintly chapped but yours are too. Pressing soft but demanding against yours. Hobi kisses you just as sweetly as last time and you grip the front of his jacket.

No sooner has he heaved you up on the counter, fingers hooking under your thighs to kiss you stronger- than is the door clanging open and a nurse comes barreling in.

"Ugh- uhm." She's a little stunned, but you're already hopping down, faces flushed and apologizing for the inconvenience.

You don’t throw the bloody paper towels in the garbage, but the toilet, flushing them once, then twice, to make sure that they’re down. Mumbling one last apology before you exit the bathroom together.

Hobi doesn't let go of your hand. You wonder if this is what loving him is going to be like; making out in places you shouldn't, special secret stolen glances when you keep holding hands even around the pack and keep stealing kisses.

You wonder if the kissing will stretch to the cars- to the late night drives, if he'll hold your hand like this around every hairpin turn. If Hobi's going to make you a make out playlist later, full of songs that make him think of you, songs that match the cadence and pitch of your heart. You wonder if loving him will be like this, stolen innocence, like finding sea glass on the beach. There and pretty for the taking if you only look for it.

Your heart feels all warm and tight with it, swaddled. Protected as Hobi tugs you back into Jimin's hospital room. You can't wait to find out.

The next few hours look like this; Namjoon sitting on the foot of the bed his hand on Jimin’s knee, feasting on hospital food. Jungkook giggles, and nearly throws himself across Jimin’s lap so that the alpha can put his hands through his hair. Looks like more takeout, living off of it because no one wants hospital food and you can't go home and cook. You refuse to leave right now.

It looks like Tae smiling for the first time In what feels like years but has logically been only a few hours. Rubbing a hand across her jaw and wincing when she feels the stubble.

Her wince quiets the sounds of the pack happy. And you look up from your plate.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, always stupidly attuned to her and her needs, always watching and waiting.

“I need to freaking shave and I just- I haven’t had the chance to.” Tae lets out a tired sigh, the kind of deep frustration that comes with things that you have no choice but to do.

You take her hand from her chair and tug her up. Because this- this source of angst can be fixed.

“Here- come on,” A shaving razor gets found for her, Namjoon goes to the surgical ward to get the right kind. Sharp and medical and disposable along with a tiny tube of shaving gel. You drag her chair into the bathroom and make her sit while you do it. Lathering up her cheeks and tipping her head back. The whole pack a cacophony in the other room. The shock of skittles and other candies falling onto the floor. Muted words then soft laughter.

You drag the shaving razor up her chin, over her chubby cheeks. Your gentle touch, the soft scrapping of her hair against the blade a gentle accompaniment to the sounds of the pack passing the time until Jimin wants to go to sleep. Jungkook's phone plays a tictok loud, "Bunny- headphones, Minnie's trying to rest" Yoongi reminds him.

Jimin is struggling not to fall asleep, shifting to one side of the hospital bed just to get a better vantage point to look into the bathroom at Tae. Jimin cranes his neck.

Tae's face twitches, and underneath the white froth you see her reddening cheeks. “Stop looking at me.”

Jimin grins from the hospital bed, “Can’t help it, love you.”

“Love you too Minnie” She choruses back, and the pack joins her.

that night, namjoon and yoongi push three hospital cots togeather around jimin's bed and the pack piles in, sweet bodies and kissed cheaks, whiped down with sanitary towels, you end up tucked between tae and hobi, your cheek pressed to her back.

the following morning it becomes impossible to ignore both how purely filthy the 8 of you are and the fact that Jimin's doctors won't let him check out until tomorrow (and even then he'll have days of bedrest and won't be able to use his arm until he gets his stitches out.) You haven't been home in two days, no one can remember if you even locked the front door with how crazy leaving was.

It’s hard to convince Tae to go with you and leave Jimin's side. But she's less resistant when Yoongi reminds her that Jimin needs new clothes to go home in since all of his bloodstained clothing was discarded as medical waste.

“Honestly we should get like- to go bags full of a change of clothes for all of us when like, JK has his seizures,” Maybe it’s just because you’ve done overnights twice in the last week at the hospital- but the idea doesn’t seem like a bad one.

Jin drives you, Hobi, and Tae home in silence; no one tells Tae any of the other secrets yet. Tired as she is, almost falling asleep in the car. Waking with a start when you turn onto your street.

It's a little shocking. When you get home to a cold and quiet house. Jimin's blood has dried up into dark waxy puddles, on the kitchen table and the floor. There are fingerprints from someone, rusty and red on the doorframe. It's stark to see the evidence. To see a bit of it on the butcher block countertop all the terror and the color leached out of it in the grey afternoon light.

Tae is so stumbly that Hobi has to grab her twice just to keep her from walking into walls when he gets her inside. Noodles immediately yowl has you feeling terribly guilty, he circles your and Hobi's ankles. But you push at Hoseok's hands when he stoops to pick him up.

"Take Tae upstairs and shower with her, will you? I'll be up in a second, just gonna feed him and get some stuff together." She's blinking and looking at the bloodstains, eyes already looking glassy with fresh tears.

You need a second, a second in quiet, a second alone just to steady yourself. Jin comes in, dragging in a mountain of mail from your box, "I've got them, come on pups, grooming time."

Jin pecks a kiss along your forehead, "Come up the second you finish?"

You nod, "Just want to get some food first too- hungry."

Jin nods and makes to follow Hobi and Tae but pauses on the stairs. he looks like he wants to say something to you. Eyes full of something unreadable and warm. Unspoken words hover.

If he had to choose anyone, I'm glad he chose you.

But before he can get it out Tae calls from upstairs. "Jinnie? Can you grab one of my comfy sets from the closet down there before you come up?"

You stand, solemn in the kitchen, listening to the sound of them on the creaky stairs, the sound of their quiet voices. The creek of the house as they walk around upstairs.

"Here you go baby," you say, giving Noodles an extra spoonful of food. You know you left enough for him in his bowl and that he didn't suffer too badly. But still, his purring chirping is music to your ears. You pet over his back, his fluffy tail.

He's Still chubby, still good. You aren't too bad of a pet owner then.

There's the gun still there, sitting just to the left of Jimin's blood splatter on the seat of one of the dining room chairs. You're at eye level with it from where you crouch down to pet Noodle. It's the same one that you pulled out from under the bed when you found out he'd been shot. You should probably take it with you when you go back to the hospital, just to be sure.

"You got any secrets for me nu? Are you the long-lost prince of some cat kingdom?" Noodle chops down in response.

You go to the hallway closet to get a duffel bag, where the pack stores their larger bags and luggage.

"Hey!" Hobi calls from upstairs, muffled through the roar of the shower. There isn't much other noise in the house. The birds outside aren't chirping, probably because you haven't been home enough to fill their birdfeeder.

Probably.

"Yeah!?" You call back up, upending the duffel bag and sending a bit of loose change, some quarters and pennies scattering onto the floor. you stoop down to pick up a few of them, tossing them back into the closet with a metallic clang (to be dealt with later.)

“Can you grab Tae's phone charger? It should be by her computer.”

"Got it!" Tae's library room is much the same as it was when you left it, her computer is closed. The walls are green, the window dusty. You find it easily, the cord long and white, tangling in your hands.

You're not sure why your hair raises on the back of your neck.

Noodle stops his chomping.

The push of cold air startles you- the change of pressure in the house like a door being opened- the front door. The windows in the library room are leaky. You're used to being in here and feeling it, used to feeling that same draft every time one of your pack mates comes home.

You freeze where you stand.

The metallic jingle of the doorknob is so much softer than usual. You could almost convince yourself that you don't hear it, that you've made it up.

And then you hear it- Noodle's low hiss.

Call it a habit or a trained behavior but you still make your footsteps quiet everywhere you go. A thing learned from your years with Geumjae when you needed to be quiet to be safe and needed to make yourself as unobtrusive as possible to avoid pain. A vestigial survival instinct.

It serves you well now because no one in the house hears as you slide from Tae’s library through the pantry area, you don’t call out Tae’s name again, or Hobi’s. You don’t know exactly why you don’t.

Your house is an old house and you know every inch of it. You know this house that Yoongi’s built for you from the top of the eves to the shutters, from the windows up top to the ground floor and dusty half-finished basement. You know every creaky floorboard and which steps are the ones you skip when someone’s sleeping upstairs because it always sounds so high-pitched and it wakes Jimin up, light sleeper that he is.

You hear the subtle creek of the floorboards now, the small slide of heavy boots across the wide floorboards. A creak. Someone is about to ascend the stairs, up to where you can still hear Hobi and Tae talking softly. The shower off, they're probably just getting dressed.

Softly, you hear the sound of a heavy boot hitting something metallic, one of the pennies you dropped earlier and missed.

Jin might still be in the other room, that's what you tell yourself. You're just being paranoid. stupid paranoia you almost want to laugh. you're just jumpy from the last few days- that's all. Funny of you, to make it up.

The danger is all in your head.

Only it's not,

Because the first thing you see when you peek around the corner is the pitch-dark barrel of an extended gun.

~-~

Please Like, Comment, and Reblog <3 Every little bit of encouragement helps <3

Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!

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~-~

Notes:

There are some parts in this chapter, some facts about yoongi's family that haven't been touched on since the very begining chapters or jimin's secret chapters and i repeated them just so that people get a bit of a refresher but some of it feels a little monotonous to write! i hope it's not too hard to get through.

in an ideal world i would have given myself an additional week to edit this chapter, it's not the most edited and because of that i feel like it got repetitive or arduous in places.

i'm also realizing that this is like, 9th longest bts fanfic in existence. look it up on ao3 if you don't believe me. i think giving people a refresher of the begining is fair. In terms of the harry potter series (it really is a shame that no one knows who wrote it) we're just into the 6th book in terms of word count if you need that for context.

on that same vein. moonbyuls brief rant that is implied to be transphobic and sorta is- is not a reflection of my views she's just...you know...the villain?

this chapter also literally went from 8k to 14k during editing what the fuck. i stayed up till 2 am to get this done two nights in a row. i have this little nagging voice in my head that says its stupid to care about something like this but i can't help it- i love this story so much. even if this isn't the best chapter.

when the m/c has her freak out in the room where she almost passes out- that is called adrenal fatigue and it's soemthing that i struggle with as someone with ptsd. you know the feeling when you go on a rollercoaster when all of your adrenaline unloads it's self all at once? if i go through that my body goes a little haywire like- dizziness, exhaustion, dysregulation, memory fog, all of it. i still like rollercoasters though so as long i like rest and drink alot of water it doesn't affect me too much.

it's really important that you notice that no one says moonbyuls name during the moment when they're talking about their secrets between namjoon, jin, hobi, yoongi, and the m/c. i'm not telling you why just PAY ATTENTION.

Every time i think about the proverb "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." i think of the m/c and how thats her storyline with the family like- she really was like "either you love me or i'll kill all of you" and i think thats cute <3

In terms of why the last don and Beta killed Yoongi's parents- i think it's because yoongi's mother found out that she was pregnant with another beta and the don and beta didn't want to deal with such a divided power. They already had yoongi under their thumb and another possible successor would have over complicated things. Yoongi would have had a little sister, i don't know if he'll ever know thats why his parents where killed- he was between the ages of 16 and 18 when they died.

although this chapter was the least edited in terms of the most recent chapters- i will also say that there are two moments in this chapter- where i 'fuck up' and write things a certian way but heres the thing- they're not fuck ups and they're actually hints so! lets see if anyone notices!!

i'm gonna be honest with you guys the part where it goes "it stays there" left me fucking winded i can't even think about it too hard or else i get misty eyed.

i am catheterizing a lot of emotions writing this i am sorry it took so long to write, there is a reason why this update took a month and thats cuz yeah- my grandmother is dying. She's got cancer and She's 91 so they're not treating it. death is gonna be a /theme/ for me over the next couple of chapters, don't be surprised if I go off on a tangent or if it takes me a second between updates.

i wish i could write the m/c just a little dumber you know?

i wrote this series with the intent to write about people in realistic relationships- showing the moments they make mistakes, the moments they react too much or not enough, the way that trauma affects us all and how we handle it and love. it feels very full circle to have this chapter come out like- this is what bily is about you know? even though they'res alot of dialouge in it.

oh~ shits about to go down~

Mini-Playlist

Dominic fike- acai bowl (kinda hobi and the m/c's song for this chapter, they're going through it)

Hozier- Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) (this is literally bily's unoffical theme song at this point)

JID, Kenny Mason - Dance now (the beginning when moonbyul setting the industrial park on fire)

Frank sinatra- thats life (the song i picture playing at the end when tae and jimin are talking out their issues).

432 notes · View notes

boraswan · 5 months

Note

hiiii can you write a jungkook x reader where he introduces you to his friends but u have anxiety so u are worried that u made a bad impression and and he reassures you that they loved you <3 thank you <3

thank you sm for the request. hope you like it.

❤️

jungkook x reader

fluff/comfort, reader has anxiety, mention of therapy.

800 words.

You walked up the front door of his friends house, anxiety increasing by the second. But of course, your loving boyfriend has been very patient with you all day. Very sympathetic to your worries about meeting his friends. Not enough, however, to let you stay home.

“Stop dragging your feet, babe.” he said as you sat in his desk chair, hands coming behind you to lazily massage your shoulders. He was right. Yes, you were stalling. But you weren’t about to admit it.

“I’m not, kook. Its just, there’s something wrong with your chair! I have to figure it out before something happens!” you said, feigning innocence.

“Yeah cutie. I totally appreciate you looking out for me. But… it can wait until we get back.” he replied, looking at you knowingly.

“Yeah, I mean technically it could wait but, what if we forget?” you asked, much quieter this time.

“We won’t forget, baby. I’ll put it at the top of the list.” he said, pointing to his head.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing. Everything is gonna be okay. Don’t think about the chair too much, okay?” he said sweetly, rubbing your back up and down. You both knew he wasn’t really talking about the chair.

“Okay, thank you.” you said with a half smile, looking up at him. He knew you were trying. “Gentle encouragement” is what the therapist has called it. Your sweet boyfriend agreed to attend a session with you, listening very intently to everything that was said. You could tell he really cared. But the only downside was now he was too aware. He knew your antics, and wouldn’t let you close in on yourself.

So that led you to where you are right now. Standing outside his friend namjoon’s house. Six random people you had never met before. And your boyfriend talked about them endlessly. They meant so much to him and you were worried that something bad would happen, that they might not like you.

“Your hand is shaking like a leaf babe, relax.” He grabbed your hand into his, sending you a soft smile.

“I’ll be with you the whole time, mkay?” he cocked his head cutely at you, sending a reassuring look your way.

“Mkay.” you said back, mocking his voice.

Jungkook extended his free arm to open the door, and you braced for the worst.

Only a few hours. You can do this.

Your boyfriend led you into the house, slowly making your way through the hall towards the living room, where several voices were heard overlapping each other.

You almost reached the source, when a voice behind you interrupted the tension you felt in your chest.

“Y/N? Jungkook?”

You guys turned around at the call. A tall man was smiling fondly at the two of you.

Jungkook let go of you momentarily to hug the man, who was still smiling at you kindly.

“Did he say y/n?”

“Oh my god I think so.”

Before you knew it, multiple people flooded into the hallway. They all exchanged hugs with your boyfriend. A couple of them even hugged you too. They were all welcoming, but it was so crowded, and the hall was starting to feel smaller, and your shirt was too tight. And-

“Let’s go sit down shall we?” Jungkook smiled at them, hand settling on your lower back. A nice grounding feeling. They all agreed and made their way back to the living room. You guys were the last to walk in, far enough behind for him to discreetly whisper in your ear.

“I’ve got you babe. You’re doing amazing.”

As the night went on, the boys enthusiastically told stories about their youngest member. They didn’t spare him either. It was funny watching him cringe, leaning into you to hide from the embarrassment. This went on for what felt like only few minutes, until jungkook quietly asked if you were ready to go. You confusedly clicked your phone screen on, only to see that 3 hours had passed.

“Oh my god!” you whisper yelled.

“I didn’t realize it had gotten so late, I’m sorry.” You whisper yelled. Not that the boys would have noticed anyways. They were in their own world arguing about the timeline of a story.

“That’s okay baby, I’m glad you’re having a good time, it’s nice to see you all getting along like this.” he said looking at you fondly, before letting out a yawn.

“Tired?” you asked with a smile.

“Yeahh.” he admitted giggling.

“Alright, let’s tell them bye.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to separate you from your new besties.” he joked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Besides, we can hang out for longer next time. We can meet up earlier in the day.”

“Next time?” He asked teasingly.

“Next time.” you confirmed.

❤️

#jungkook #jungkook reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts comfort #jungkook comfort #army #bts army #jungkook drabble

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kooshours · 8 months

Text

jeon's garage || CHAPTER 1

pairing: motorcycle mechanic!Jungkook x reader chapter genre: lots of fluff, slight crack rating: sfw warnings: mentions of substance abuse/absent parents, swearing, JK and mc meeting for the first time (a lot of cuteness and a bit of awkwardness), this JK word count: 6.0k

chapter summary: after successfully finding a bike (if it could even be considered one) you end up stumbling upon a repair shop and strike a deal with the owner. tag list: open! comment to join!

SERIES MASTERLIST

"This is a terrible idea." The first thing you heard as you stood with your best friend of ten years, Jaehyun, in the middle of a junkyard, staring at a motorcycle. Well, what was a sorry excuse for a motorcycle. Having been thrown away and forgotten in a dump, it was almost completely trashed. Any of the partially useful parts had been taken by anyone else who could make use of it. Now all that was left was the skeleton of what probably was a 20 year old motorbike.

Because of that, your brother had learned not to trust anyone. He grew up to hate drugs and alcohol, to build walls around him and lose al of his faith in humanity. The only exception to these beliefs were you, and of course his best friends. But nobody was an exception of who he trusted around you, and that was including the 6 boys that he had been close with ever since middle school. He barely even trusted Jaehyun.

His overbearing protectiveness was the reason that you had never once met the guys that he called his brothers. He also made it clear that they didn't know a single thing about you either. All they knew was that Namjoon had a younger sister in her first year of university, and she was strictly off limits, no exceptions whatsoever. It was the one strict boundary that he had with all of his friends. The one thing that he was firm with and would never change no matter what. The moment any of them tried to get close to you, they would be dead to Namjoon.

It was a bit sad to you. You wished that you could meet the guys that your brother went out with every night and grew up with. You were curious as to who these guys were, since they were able to break down the walls that your brother had built up around himself ever since he was a kid. But they wouldn't be able to break down the fortress that Namjoon built around you, so you would only get to hear the stories and adventures that he went on, and the laughs that they had.

The main reason why you were in the middle of a junkyard looking for a motorcycle was for one reason. Freedom. Of course you loved your brother with every fiber of your being, but you couldn't stand how sheltered you had to grow because of it. Anything that was a potential danger to your health was an immediate no. It even took hours of convincing to get him to be okay with the job you had taken up at a local bakery.

He hated the thought of not being there to protect you. But you were 21 years old now, it was time for him to understand that he couldn't rule over your life forever. This was the most blatant act of rebellion you could think of.

That all brings you back to where you are right now, staring at the vehicle in front of you. Jaehyun had a disgusted look on his face. Not only from the sight of the thing in front of him, but also because of the fact that you were in the middle of a junkyard. The air smelled of animal shit, cannabis, and obviously trash. Your best friend was a bit of a germaphobe, but he was the biggest supporter of this independence plan. And he knew that even if he refused to come out, you would've gone anyways and you'd be stuck trying to haul a motorcycle by yourself.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." Jaehyun muttered with an exasperated sigh. He knew that once you had your mind set on something, nothing would change that. It was what he had gotten used to over the years. He wasn't someone who usually marched to the best of his own drum no matter how often you had tried helping him gain more self-confidence. That meant that over these past 10 years he'd been your partner in crime, since you were the more assertive and extroverted one.

The next couple minutes, the air is filled with many strained noises and grunts, mutters from your best friend of "this was a terrible idea" and the sound of wheels being dragged through the dirt. Neither of you guys were particularly strong, but put together you were able to move the motorcycle without too much struggle.

After the two of you ended up getting the motorcycle into the back of his light blue Ford pickup truck, he closed the bed with an exasperated sigh. The two of you were sweating with extremely flushed faces, looking like you both ran a marathon rather than moved a 140 kilogram motorbike 9 meters and then lifted it into a truck bed.

"How are you even going to get this fixed?" Jaehyun asked as the two of you got into the front of the truck, still focusing on calming your breath. As soon as the car was on you and Jaehyun were both reaching to simultaneously point the AC fans towards yourselves. You had to admit that you definitely hadn't thought this far into the future, so you just gave him a sort of sheepish smile and nervous laugh.

"Well, that's a great question actually.." You mumbled, looking down towards your lap as you thought of any possible ideas. There was really only one option, because you sure as hell didn't know the first thing when it came to fixing up a motorcycle.

"I guess I can just look online for a mechanic. You don't mind keeping the bike at your place until I find one, right?" You asked, presenting your best exaggerated pout towards your best friend. He looked at you with an obviously unimpressed expression upon hearing that you hadn't planned ahead, but then again what did he expect? He should've known your response.

"Fine, we can keep it at my place for a few days. But you better find a mechanic soon. If not then I'm dropping this back off at the dump." Jaehyun replied with a defeated expression. You were glad that he allowed you to store the bike at his place, because if your brother caught a glimpse of your newest find, it would be fake over for you. You were practically bubbling with excitement the whole ride home.

Once you had showered all of the stink off and settled down in your apartment styled dorm for the night, you immediately reached for your laptop. There would definitely be a lot of researching to do, because you truly hadn't even comprised a vague plan of what you had to do.

All you had now was a trashed motorbike and the saved up money you earned from working at the bakery, which was quite a bit since your brother always insisted on paying for your tuition and housing for the university. A part of you wondered how he got all this money, but something else told you that it was probably better if you weren't aware and lived in peaceful bliss.

As you laid on your bed and opened up the web, you weren't really sure what to search up. Just going for the first thing you could think of, you just looked up "motorcycle mechanic near me" and pressed enter. What came up were many different options, but all of them were at least 30 minutes away. You could also tell that all of these mechanics would have you paying probably tens of thousands of dollars. Way more than you have. You knew that it was definitely a stretch to try and fix a motorcycle from practically scratch with 2,000 dollars, but it was at least worth a try.

After spending around an hour surfing the web through all of the different overpriced shops and reading reviews, you were stumped on what to do. Everything seemed to be much more expensive than what you could dream of affording, and the prices were only for minor changes to the bikes.

Maybe you were really in over your head. Blinded by the urge to show your brother that you had grown up and didn't need his help with anything. After sending a text to Jaehyun and informing him that this whole search was probably going to be useless, you decided to retire from your extensive search in exchange for getting some well needed rest. You had work in the morning at the bakery, and dealing with a bunch of middle-aged customers took most of your willpower.

The next day was already off to a terrible start. You never thought that staying up an extra hour last night would affect you much, but apparently the consequence for that was sleeping through your alarm. That was only the first shitty thing that happened. After having to skip your usual morning shower, you went to go make your usual morning coffee and the machine was broken. It simply didn't work. What was even more irritating about that was that you had spent around 200 dollars on an expensive espresso machine to save money. With the warranty having run out a few weeks ago, you knew it was a hopeless cause. Now you had to drive to work 45 minutes late and half asleep because the coffee machine was broken. Wonderful.

This wasn't the end of the series of unfortunate events though. Once you were all ready to go and finally out the door, you thought that would be the end to your karma for God knows what. As you turned onto the freeway on your usual route to the bakery, you were immediately met with the worst traffic you'd seen ever since you moved to the campus of your university.

As you were sitting in the standstill traffic, 1 hour late to work, it was so bad that you honestly just felt like turning back around and going right home. Save yourself from the embarrassment of being late to your job and just use the excuse of being sick. But you knew that it wasn't the right choice. So after going on your phone and calculating an alternative route, you were taking the next exit off the freeway.

The GPS was taking you down a new route that you had never seen in your life before. You were actually very surprised by this part of town. You had never heard of it in the two years you'd been living in this area, but it was beautiful. It was one of those artistic areas with the sides of buildings decorated with creatively designed murals and small local businesses with all sorts of antique decorations.

This type of place was right under your nose this whole time and you had never seen it before. It was right up your alley, and it was only about a 5 minute drive from your campus without any of the traffic. At this point you were less focused on the GPS telling you to make a U-turn because you missed your turn.

It was on this road that you almost stopped your car right in its tracks. Not that there were any cars behind you, but you didn't want to terrify the pedestrians walking down the sidewalk. Wedged in between two white brick buildings was a car garage, painted black with a rainbow mural on the front, and a neon sign titled "Jeon's Mechanic".

This was definitely not one of the options you had seen on the web last night, and you were suddenly intrigued. Either this store was going to be hella overpriced, or it was going to be cheap. At this point, work was the last thing on your mind as you signaled your blinker and turned into the parking lot of the garage.

After making a quick search on your phone, you were able to find the website of the car garage. It was a locally owned car garage and specialized in motorcycle repairs, causing you to let out a small shout of victory in your car. You put the car in park before scrolling down further on the website, looking around for all of the prices.

You had no idea what good pricing was for a motorcycle repair, you were just hoping for something close to your budget. There were only prices listed for minor fixes, but none of them seemed to exceed 1,000 dollars. Under the prices in tiny writing was a notice that prices for other services would have to be negotiated. It was now or never, you decided.

As you got out of your car and locked it, you could tell that this was definitely a place that a lot of local bikers knew about. There were bikes parked on the side, the owners standing around in the parking lot and chatting with each other. You didn't feel unsafe, but you were definitely intimidated. You were obviously out of place wearing one of your favorite white A-line dresses and a light pink cardigan.

This was the type of attire you usually wore to work, because you worked in a bakery. You didn't have a dresscode at the job, but you knew that the main reason the couple hired you was for your kind face and delicate style.

You swallowed down any nervousness that you were feeling and began walking towards the garage, ignoring any stares you were getting from the bikers hanging around.

As you entered the garage, you weren't really expecting what you saw. Not that you were expecting all black walls without any windows and some sort of gothic music to be playing, but you were pleasantly surprised by how nice it was. The lobby area felt really open with a lot of windows and plants around, and there was soft R&B music playing in the background.

There were LED lights illuminating the lobby and instead of having uncomfortable plastic chairs to wait in, there were cushioned seats lining the wall, right in front of a chalkboard wall with pieces of chalk laid out for anyone to write on. At this point, you were sort of glad that your morning detour led you here. You were given some hope that maybe you could begin your bike riding hobby.

You really weren't sure what to do once you entered, a soft bell sounded as the door opened and you walked in, but there was nobody by the front desk. You sort of awkwardly just approached the front desk as you took the time to look around the lobby some more. There were some pictures mounted on the wall. Most of them looked like biker groups, or photos of motorcycles that were definitely way out of your beginners league. After a couple minutes of playing with your own fingers, you finally heard rather heavy footsteps approaching you.

"Hey, sorry about the wait." You heard his voice before you saw him, and wow. He had a nice voice. You turned around to try and search for where the smooth tenor voice came from, and you knew that your reaction was probably a bit embarrassing. In front of you was probably one of the most panty dropping men you've ever seen before, standing behind the counter.

The first thing you noticed were his dark brown eyes which were slightly crinkled at the edges from his smile. Your eyes were glued to his face for an embarrassing amount of time. Your gaze drifted towards his perfectly shaped nose, and even further to his lips that were decorated with two lip rings, showing off beautifully straight teeth that took your breath away. He had a face that must've been sculpted by hand, and his godly face structure was accentuated by how his shoulder length hair was half pulled back, his bangs framing his face.

"How can I help you?" You were snapped out of your trancelike state by his voice once again, your eyes snapping back to his before you looked down in embarrassment. You didn't even know how long you had been standing there just looking at him, and it made you feel a bit awkward. You almost forgot the whole reason why you were standing in a repair shop when usually you wouldn't even get within 100 meters of one.

"Oh, right.. How much are bike repairs?" You finally found your voice, almost visibly cringing at the small shake to your tone. The handsome worker didn't seem to mind much, sporting the same warm smile as he listened to you.

"It depends, what exactly are you wanting?" He asked in a kind tone, reaching towards one of the drawers on the desk to pull out some papers. You didn't really know exactly what to ask for so you thought for a few moments before responding in an unsure tone.

"Um, like.. the whole bike fixed?" You asked, sounding much more stupid than you intended. By the way you saw one of his eyebrows slight quirk up, you knew that you definitely sounded like an idiot. Walking into a random bike garage and asking for a whole bike to be fixed. You hadn't even done research so you didn't know how to properly explain what you needed to fix.

"The whole bike? Are you maybe referring to just the engine?" He inquired in a patient tone, and you slightly pursed your lips. You knew that he could tell you didn't know the first thing about a motorcycle, if your attire wasn't enough of a hint.

"Well, probably.. amongst many other things." You replied in an unsure tone. He still had one of his eyebrows raised, and you noticed the piercing there as your eyes accidentally wandered a bit again. If you knew him any, you could swear that there was a hint of amusement on his face as he was processing what you were telling him.

"So you're saying that the whole bike needs to be worked on? Do you by chance have a picture of it? I need to see if it's salvageable and roughly how much it would be to fix." He said, making you feel a bit of hope. Maybe you could find someone to actually fix your job.

You reached for your phone and began looking through your photo album as you felt his presence move closer beside you. Your heart unwillingly began to speed up, a natural reaction to being in close proximity with someone as attractive as this guy. A part of you was wondering why he moved to stand next to you instead of waiting for you to just show him your phone, but you didn't dwell on it.

"Alright, here it is. I found it at a junkyard.." You mumbled in a slightly nervous tone as you showed him the pictures on your phone. As he bent down a bit to be able to see your phone screen you caught a whiff of the most delectable cologne you'd ever smelled. You had to physically restrain yourself from sniffing him like a weirdo, but what guy even smelled this good?

He reached towards your phone with one hand to zoom in on some parts of the picture, giving you a glimpse of the tattoos that decorated his right hand. You could see more tattoos disappearing under the sleeve of his jacket and a part of you really wanted to see the rest of what his sleeve was hiding.

"Wow, this really would require almost a full rebuild. It only really looks like the minor parts are attached to the frame. Are you sure that you would rather repair this than just buy a new one?" He spoke after a few moments, and you felt your expression slightly drop. You had tried looking online for bikes. Nothing was nearly around your budget, and somehow you just assumed that getting a bike from the junkyard would somehow be cheaper. He seemed to notice your fallen expression and quickly began speaking once again.

"But I'm sure we can find time to fix it, of course. It might be pricey though. What's your budget?" He asked as he leaned back up straight after finished with inspecting the condition of the bike you wanted to fix. He didn't step away from you though, and the proximity was making your cheeks feel a bit hotter than normal.

You could tell this would probably be the hardest part of what you wanted to do. Judging on what he said, you could tell that your budget was probably not nearly what you needed.

"Well, ideally around 2,000, if it's really needed I might be able to pull an extra thousand." You answered, and could immediately tell that your answer was not expected. He slowly nodded as he was obviously thinking about it. You were close to telling him never mind, that you could just buy a bike from a shop when he suddenly spoke.

"Normally, a repair of this magnitude might cost around 12,000 because of the condition it's in." He informed you, causing you to almost physically recoil. You weren't expecting the price to be six times your ideal budget, but what were you expecting?

"But, maybe we could work something out so you don't have to pay anything over your initial budget." He added on after a few moments and you looked at him with sort of a suspicious expression. You couldn't help but feel a bit weirded out by that proposal. Sure he was attractive, but what exactly was he trying to get at? Before you could stop yourself you slightly stepped away from him.

"And what would that be..?" You questioned a bit hesitantly. At first you saw the slight confusion on his features before the realization hit him. You watched as his cheeks and ears began to tint a red color as he seemed to notice just how his offer probably came off as. It was a bit amusing seeing someone who looked as intimidating as he did become so flustered in awkward within the span of a few seconds.

"I didn't mean it like that, I promise! I'm not trying to be creepy or anything, I just-.. Wow, I suck at this." He muttered to himself with a small sigh as he raised a hand to his forehead.

The sight of him berating himself made you unable to hold back the laugh that was bubbling up. His eyes shifted up to you when he heard your laugh, and after a few moments he joined in on the laughter. The sound of his laugh was just as melodic and pleasing as his voice was while speaking, and you were once again slightly swooning over this guy that you just met.

"Sorry if what I said came off as weird. What I meant by that was definitely not how it seemed. Um, how often are you available during the week?" He inquired, suddenly seeming to be a bit nervous. Even though your suspicions that he was some sort of pervert had disappeared, you were a bit curious as to why he was asking how often you had free time. Your curiosity was what compelled you to answer him.

"I'm usually available in the afternoon. I work from around 6 in the morning until 2PM on Mondays through Fridays." You replied. Some people didn't like having jobs early in the morning, but you were practically the opposite.

Your view on things was that it was better to get things over with, and you'd have the rest of the day to relax and do what you wanted. There also weren't many people who wanted to visit a bakery that early in the morning, and your pay wasn't dependent on how many customers there were.

"Alright, that's great. So, for the payment..." He trailed off a bit nervously, piquing your interest. What was getting him so nervous that he was having trouble looking at you while he was talking? He took in a deep breath before he looked at you with those hypnotizing dark brown eyes and spoke once again.

"I'll completely rebuild your bike for 2,000 if you're willing to come here and keep me company while I'm working on it... I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, I'm sure I could figure out something else-"

"No, that's okay. I'll come in." You said before you could even properly think about it. You didn't know what compelled you to immediately agree without thinking over it, but you were answering before you fully processed what he was asking you to do. Was he asking you out in a romantic sense or something?

Judging by his reaction, you assumed that he was. His eyes went wide again when you suddenly agreed, the bambi eyes almost making you melt. The next thing you saw was his heartwarming smile as one of his hands moved to fiddle nervously with his earring.

"Oh, really? That sounds great! We can talk about the specific details, I'm sure it'll be easy to work around your schedule..." He trailed off, realizing that he had never caught your name or even introduced himself. He had been too focused on your beauty and talking to you to even introduce himself or ask for your name like he usually did with all of his other customers.

"____. Kim ____." You quickly introduced yourself, also realizing that he didn't know your name. His smile widened even more when you said your name.

He estimated that he'd have to work on it for around a month if you could come in 5 days a week for a couple hours each day. You were suddenly much more excited for the next few weeks. The start to your day didn't even matter to you anymore. What on earth did you even do to win this lottery?

"He told you WHAT?!" The volume of Jaehyun's voice over your phone made you flinch. As you looked up from your school work and caught a glimpse of your best friend's face, you were unable to contain your laugh. He was staring at you through the FaceTime screen with his jaw dropped and his eyes as wide as saucers.

"I know, I really wasn't expecting that. At first I thought he was offering something creepy in exchange for a discount, but instead he just wanted to spend time with me." You spoke with a small sigh, unable to fight the small smile spreading on your face as you thought back to your interaction with the garage owner earlier. This man had no business already living in your mind rent free.

"Holy shit. I can't believe you're finding yourself a hot bad boy. He has tattoos and piercings and owns a car garage?! I need to find where to sign up for someone like that." Jaehyun muttered under his breath, provoking the small blush on your cheeks to intensify.

"Honestly, when I first saw him I was kind of expecting some sort of cocky or dry personality. But he seemed really sweet..." You trailed off as you began to absentmindedly twirl your hair between your fingers.

"Oh my god, this man has already turned you into a hopeless school girl. You need to text him before I come over there and take your phone to do it myself." Jaehyun demands with his eyebrows raised. Your best friend wasn't firm about many things, but you could tell he wasn't bluffing at all.

"I will, I will. I just don't want to seem too obsessed or anything. It hasn't even been a day." You complained, glancing down at your desk at the corner piece of paper Jungkook had ripped off to scribble down his number. Would it be too forward to text him already? Technically, he was the one that had practically asked you out on a date 5 days a week for the next 4 weeks.

"____, stop being stubborn and text him. How many times are you going to get this type of opportunity? He's obviously interested in you, and you need to swipe up that opportunity before someone else can." Jaehyun advised, his tone now more serious. After thinking about his advice you just nod, knowing that he's right. Jungkook had made the first move by showing his interest, and since he had given you his number it was obvious that he wanted you to make the next move.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll do it right now." You finally concede. You take your phone and go into the message app, typing in the number to start a new conversation. After triple checking the numbers to save yourself from embarrassment of texting the wrong person, you type a message.

You: Hey! This is ____ from earlier. I'm interested in getting this project started as soon as possible, so when are you available?

"Okay, I sent the text." You say, exiting the message app as soon as the 'delivered' pops up under the text. As you enter back into the FaceTime, Jaehyun is giving you a smile of approval.

"See, it wasn't that bad! Now all you have to do is wait for-"

"Oh my god.. Oh my god! He texted me back already." You hurriedly cut your best friend off as you see the notification drop down on your phone. It hadn't even been a minute since you texted him and he had already replied.

Jungkook: Hey ____! I'm free anytime next week starting from Monday. Any time you're finished with work will be fine with me, I have a flexible schedule. Let me know what works best for you! Jungkook: And if you need any help bringing the bike into the shop, I'm free to help. :)

"He texted already?! What did he say?" Jaehyun questioned hurriedly, only able to see your face as you were smiling like an idiot. Not only did he reply within a minute, but even he double texted? You're definitely dreaming.

"Well I asked him about when I could start coming in and he said any time worked for him. Then he also told me that if I needed help transporting the bike to the shop then he could help." You informed Jaehyun as you were already typing a reply. If Jungkook was going to reply that quickly, you were going to match his energy.

You: Okay, Monday is great! Since I get off work at 2, I can probably be over there by 3:30. I actually had a friend that helped me with the bike so you don't have to worry about the extra help, thank you though!

"____, either you're completely lying to me about this whole thing or you really just did strike gold." Jaehyun shook his head, unable to believe that you were being truthful about the story you were telling him. But here you were with a stupid smile on your face at the sight of the three dots appearing on Jungkook's side of the conversation as soon as your message delivered.

"Well, you're going to get to meet him when we take the motorcycle over on Monday. You can see for yourself. And maybe see if you can find yourself a cute biker." You teased, finding your friends jealousy over your current situation funny.

"Yeah yeah, stop rubbing it in my face. Although I am definitely dressing up to deliver that bike on Monday. Hopefully there's more where he came from." You playfully rolled your eyes at your friend's reply, although you were also busy staring at your phone. You had watched the 3 dots continually appear and disappear for the past 30 seconds and you were wondering what he was typing.

Jungkook: Amazing, I'll be ready for you at 3:30 then. Can't wait to see you. :)

"Ah, he just said he can't wait to see me.." You muttered with an intensifying blush. You watched Jaehyun's mouth drop in a dramatic reaction before he slapped his hand over his mouth, provoking you to laugh.

"I don't even want to talk to you anymore. I'm feeling betrayed right now. My single buddy of 10 years is leaving me to wallow in my loneliness all by myself." He dramatically sighed and slumped down in his chair. You raised an eyebrow at his dramatic reaction while still laughing.

"Jaehyun, we're not even dating yet. He's just a.. possible love interest." You said with a small shrug. It was his turn to give you a deadpanned look because you and him both knew you were obviously lying. You both knew that Jungkook wanting your company while he worked on your bike was definitely meant to be him asking you out on a date(s?) in exchange for his services. He was showing his interest in you.

"He literally double texted you. You guys are practically married right now." After flipping your best friend off with a sarcastic smile, you were picking your phone up to text a reply to Jungkook.

You: I can't wait either. See you then.

He reacted to your message with a heart and as you exited the conversation, you realized that the dorky expression on your face never once left. How could he be having this much of an affect on you already? Part of you blamed it on how charming he was being, but this was also the first time you had ever been in this sort of situation.

You'd obviously never been in a relationship due to your brother being too protective, and... your eyes suddenly widened. You had been too focused on Jungkook that you totally forgot about what this could possibly mean. How would Namjoon react if he found out that you were talking to a guy like this? Would he be mad?

After a few moments of overthinking you shook your head. No, you weren't going to allow any thoughts of your brother ruin what this could possibly be. Why should he get in the way of a possible relationship? In most cases you would've turned down any other guy, but after just one meeting you had a feeling that Jungkook wasn't as shitty as Namjoon said guys were. You were hoping at least, and you were going to find out.

With or without his permission. Because the whole point of this was to show your brother that you were an adult and could make your own choices. You were done trying to obey his rules.

—

END.

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