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#jason has a secret
strange-birb · 6 months
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Roy and cass side profiles for the secret band AU!!!
Roy is backup guitar cass is the lead bassist
Roy and Jason on stage are feral and everyone loves it
Cass bends in inhumane ways while she bass solos :)
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 2 months
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De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo! Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting... Bruce: What the- Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed. Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!? Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour. Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum. Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?
Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).
The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.
He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.
Bruce: That child is up to something. Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid. Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid. Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.
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Clockwork sees how stressed Danny is from trying to be the goodest boy and never do anything remotely bad that could turn him evil and thinks he may have overdone it. At this rate his panic over never doing anything evil is going to force him to emotionally burn out and stop caring. Then he'll turn evil anyway.
So Clocky does something that sounds completely ridiculous in theory. He scoops Danny up and drops him into a universe full of superheros and villains and tells him to "Do whatever you want. There will be no consequences for you." Then he leaves.
And just like that, Danny goes apeshit. He decides to do the one thing he always wanted to do but was too afraid to because he didn't want to be judged, or worse, forced to join his parents.
He becomes a supervillian. Not as Phantom, no. But as Fenton! He goes full super genius mad scientist and terrorizes whatever city he's in. The local superhero is being driven insane as Danny builds death rays, shrink rays, his own modified version of the GAV, ect.
The best part if that the local heros can never catch him for long and when he is caught he always escapes before he is transported to whatever facility they wanted him in. He always ends up back in his home dimension where he goes back to acting normal and no one from either human dimension or the Infinite Realms knows what he's up to (except the stop watch of course)
After a particularly fun day in which Danny highjacks all broadcasting services to teach everyone in the world how to make insulin at home so you didn't have to pay a ridiculous amount for necessary medication, the Justice League was now on his tail.
Danny just laughs, thinking there's no way they'd ever be able to arrest him. Little does he know some guy calling himself Batman is leading the mission and he has no intention of arresting him. Danny, much to his horror, becomes far to familiar with adoption papers. As in he keeps having to set them on fire.
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dcxdpdabbles · 7 months
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Danny's Grill Part 2
Special thanks to @mkarchin713 for letting me use their idea.
Tim's night had been hectic.
Not only have things at WE taken a turn for the worst due to some random influencer that decided Wayne Enterprises was the cause of global warming and convinced all his fans of the same- despite the fact they were the nation's leading company in green energy- sales have been down.
The board was breathing down his neck to fix the stocks while being no help at all to get the youth back on their side. He's already pulled twelve hours of overtime this week and it was only Wednesday.
He's been dealing with the PR nightmare while trying to get to the bottom of data theft across multiple big-name technology companies. Reports of scams and total funds lost were reported all through Gotham and only his city.
Tim suspects someone had been planting screen recording devices in one of Gotham's shipping factories before they left the buildings, stealing all the information from new buyers.
Since his theory is so hard to trace, he's been having difficulty pinpointing the base of operations, never mind having enough proof for his thesis. After Bruce's lost-in-time fiasco, Tim learns to have evidence before going to the family with anything.
So that means he's been trying to fight his way on his own, which usually isn't too much to handle, but stress and lack of sleep have really been slowing him down.
Thankfully, a specific food truck appears in his line of sight, and his mood improves drastically. He finds a safe roof to quickly change into his civilians, already fantasizing about what delicious food he would eat.
Dressed in his typical Alvin Draper disguise- black, almost second-skin tights and an oversized sweater- he all but skips to Danny's Grill.
"Night, Danny," He says, smiling at the back of the chef. He leans on the little extended table outside the truck's small window. He takes a sniff of the air, mouth watering at the scent.
Looks like tonight is cheeseburgers, as Danny carefully flips some patties. Danny whirls around with a smile of his own, only to drop the spatula in horror.
"Alvin! What happened!?" Danny shouts, nearly flinging himself through the tiny opening. The vigilante blinks in confusion before catching his reflection in the napkin dispenser.
In his haste to have some of Danny's food, he forgot to cover up a black eye, swollen right cheekbone, and busted lip from his last faulty lead. A goon had gotten him by surprise and had nearly rearranged his face before he was able to get his wits about him.
"Nothing, really; it comes with the job, you know?" Tim tries to play off, laughing nervously when Danny's expression crumbles into pure rage. "Look, it's no big deal-"
"How can it not be a big deal!? Half your face is swollen!"
That happens when someone hits you with a metal pipe in the face. He thinks hysterically. "I've had worse."
"That's not comforting!" Danny screams, throwing off his apron. "Let me close down, and I'll take you to a doctor-"
"No hospitals. They'll ask where I got this, and I can't answer that." Tim cuts in, voice hard. There is a tense moment where he thinks Danny will force him to go anyway, but after a moment the other man growls slamming his hands on the counter.
"Fine. Fine. No hospitals. At least let me ice it." It takes everything in Tim not to shrink back from the hateful tone. He barely has the mind to nod as Danny quickly unlocks the little door that leads into his truck, ushering the Bat inside with barely controlled rage.
He knows it's not aimed at him, but being around someone so upset makes his skin crawl. Tim has problems with offending people; his parents had been masters in drilling into him from a young age.
That's why Tim always sought the approval of everyone around him, even if he couldn't stand the person.
He has been working on it, but old habits died hard.
"Sorry." He mumbles as Danny quickly gets a zippy bag full of ice.
"Don't. Apologize." Danny bites before taking a large breath, clearly trying to calm down. He gently places the ice against Tim's cheek, staring at him with such tender worry Tim can't help but feel butterflies. "You don't have to apologize for getting roughed up. Never. Okay?"
Tim nods, shyly looking away as his stomach is rapidly overrun by even more butterflies. "Okay."
"Come home with me." Danny suddenly blurts as if the words were forced out of him. He looked just as surprised by them as Tim was.
"What?"
"Just for tonight. Just so I know you're safe." Danny all but pleas, and Tim- well, Tim has never been known to be strong enough to resist his impulses. Sure, the family might worry, but he can send them a message claiming to be undercover, and frankly- it's been so long since Tim's had a break.
He's always wanted to know more about Danny outside his food truck. He hadn't been able to find much on him. Tim is a detective by heart. He wants to know everything there is to know about Danny Fenton.
"I can leave when I want." He says, as Danny carefully places a warm hand on his other cheek. "And I sleep in my own space. No bed sharing. I also want to take a shower but I don't have anything to sleep in."
"You can borrow something of mine/ Whatever you need." The words are practically a warm hug, and Tim feels relaxed. Already the shitty week feels less terrible, and he finds himself growing bold enough to take an obvious sniff of the air.
"Can I have a burger?"
There is a hint of an amused smile, but it does not cover up the worry. "Of course you can."
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The shower is running in Danny's house.
It's a bit out of the way, about a forty-minute drive outside of Gotham limits, but it's spacious and private, just the way Danny liked it.
Ever since he inherited his title, he's found this house on the list of properties, and that was why he chose to take Gotham by storm in his little truck.
Danny isn't really sure what the story of the property was- the suspects the place was built around the same time Gotham got its curse; seeing as it was overseeing the city and had enough natural ectoplasm in the air, he would suspect the curse affecting the town lead to here. He never cared to check.
No, rather Danny had some ghosts remodel the old building to include wiring and functioning plumbing but asked that the general overall of the mansion stay the same.
He sort of like pretending to be a Lord of the Oldden days. If anyone asked if he walked around acting out old romances of the Victorian era, that was not else business but his own.
Alvin was undoubtedly impressed when they pulled up to his house. Maybe it shouldn't have felt so prideful to have the handsome man be impressed with his mansion given the circumstances.
He seemed to accept the excuse of having been willed the house by his late grandfather. He just hoped Alvin didn't think him the same as his wealthy clients.
Speaking of, he better make the call before Alvin finished.
Stepping to his balcony, he pulled out his burner phone and pressed the speed dial five. There are four rings before the call connects.
He gets no greeting, but he's not expecting one. Danny looks over his shoulder to ensure the bathroom door is connected to the master room- his bedroom, where Alvin will be staying, seeing as it has a bigger fireplace. He needs to have them install a heating system. Danny never bothered, what with his ice core and all- before he spoke.
"Hey, Red Hood, it's Danny. I'm calling in that favor."
There is a long pause before the other man grunts. "What is it?"
"My friend is a pro whose pimp or johns have been abusing lately. Can you help me....take care of the issue? I don't want to overstep in his life, but I'm pretty sure they broke his check bone tonight, and he claimed to have had worse before." Danny sighs, his stomach overturning at what that could mean. He hasn't gone out as Ghost King to show those assholes a thing or two because this isn't his haunt.
It's Red Hood's.
Danny had met the other man when a rouge attack had busted up all the main highways he usually worked in and had no choice but to try to sell in Crime Alley. He was right off the territory's edge, freaking out about entering without the main ghost's permission, until Red Hood confronted him.
Danny's frantic fretting had been suspicious enough that the main honcho had gone to find out why he was so nervous.
They worked a deal where Danny would sell his ware in peace, and as long as he let kids eat for free, Red Hood had no quarrels with him. He even got a favor from the crime lord after Danny provided free meals to some of his men's families struggling to get food a few months back.
He also allowed Hood to use his house as a safe house to hide a few people who needed to be out of the city. Is he part of Red Hood's gang? No.
Is he an alley? Yes.
Danny had been saving the favor for such an occasion.
There is silence on Hood's side, so Danny goes in for the kill. "My friend is seventeen; in a few months, he'll be eighteen, but he said he has been doing this since he was younger."
The silence is now laced with malice. If there was one thing they both agreed on it was that kids were never meant to be hurt by the scum of the city. "Give me his name and the area he usually works in."
"Alvin Draper. He changes per night, but I've often seen him on the east side of Crime Alley."
"I'll look into it. Is Alvin safe?"
"Yeah, he's going to be staying with me tonight. Don't come by until I convince him to extend his stay." Danny knows Hood will understand. This is one of many pros to see the Zone- his mansion's name- as a sanctuary.
"That's fine. Can you get me a picture of Alvin?"
"No, he's too skimmish."
Hood grunts again, his voice coming out tired despite the voice monitor. "Kids always are. I'll have my boys find Alvin's primp and johns. Ensure there aren't any other younglings before they make them swim with the fish."
Danny almost falls over in relief. "Thank you. Alvin...Alvin means a lot to me."
" Don't mention it. Stay well, Victorian."
Victorian is the code name Hood has given him to ensure Danny isn't tired of his gang. Yes, it's because his house is a Victorian mansion, but Danny also likes to think it's cause the other man appreciates the aesthetics of his house a little too much.
He once caught Hood admiring his Pride and Prejudice hardcover book displayed in his green sitting room.
"You too Hood. And thank you."
How would he convince Alvin that his house was a better place to call home than the orphanage and street corners without coming off as a wannabe savior or hopelessly in love creep?
Danny pauses at his own train of thought.
Hopelessly in love? He thinks in shock as the bathroom door swings open, and out comes Alvin, dressed in Danny's extra pajama set. He offers Danny a shy smile; even with the injuries, it is the loveliest sight he's ever seen, and- oh no, Danny is in love with him.
"You up for a late-night snack?" He asks, trying to not show the world-shattering realization on his face, and Alvin's smile grows wider.
"You're going to make me fat." The other laughs. Danny's heart skips a beat.
Danny Fenton loves Alvin Draper and will do everything he can to protect him. Even if Alvin will hate him for it.
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arrowmaker15 · 3 months
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(Jason and Dick sitting on the couch)
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: How the hell have you kept your identity a secret for so long?
Dick: I have no idea.
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nelkcats · 1 year
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The King's Favorite
The only possession that Catherine left Jason was an ice rose. She commented that it was some kind of family charm, that it had been with them for many generations and brought luck and that she knew the rose would save him one day. The last image Jason had of his mother was her smile as she handed him the rose.
Jason was always curious about the rose, it was cold and he swore it was made of solid ice but that should be impossible since it didn't melt. He was never brave enough to tell Bruce about it; maybe it was dumb, but he didn't want his paranoid father to take away the last memory of his mother.
The day Jason died he mocked the rose, neatly nestled in his bag a few meters away. Luck? Not at all. Saving? What a joke. While he closed his eyes he regretted everything he did wrong, everything he didn't get to live. As his tears fell to the warehouse floor, the rose slipped out of his bag, as if it went through it.
Unbeknownst to Jason, the ice rose ended up near his foot and began to fuse with his skin, leaving a small blue tattoo on his ankle, and for some reason, in his last few minutes, Jason felt warm.
A month after being buried, the tattoo began to glow blue. At midnight a voice was heard in the empty Gotham Cemetery.
"Wake up, my little Rose"
Jason's eyes snapped open in confusion as he woke up in his coffin. The Ghost King smirked as he looked at his chosen one while sitting on his throne of ice in the Infinite Realms, a new heir, huh?
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methoughtsphantom · 4 months
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AU where tim drake can sense dead people so when the red hood makes his debut in gotham he’s very curious about the guy who should be dead by all accounts
robin, sleep deprived: how are you here
jason, who had such a shitty patrol he doesn’t even question why the new robin is here in his safehouse: what?
robin, shrugging because in his mind he is just talking to a random crime lord: i’m just asking, you are supposed to be dead
jason:
jason: how the fuck
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jackdaw-and-hattrick · 7 months
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Story Idea:
22 year old Gotham University student Danny finds a Damien clone whose near death and saves his life, offering to let the kid stay with him in his crappy apartment. The clone accepts, thinking Danny seems like a tolerable chump to bide his time with as he builds his strength for another fight with his progenitor for his rightful place as heir to Batman. Danny absolutely 100% knows the kid’s a clone and that taps right into his childhood trauma, making him want to protect him all the more. (Up to you if Dani is alive but in my version she’s not). Over time, Clone!Damien becomes begrudgingly fond of his new caretaker, especially after Danny starts taking him on Doctor Who style adventures through time/space and the tamer parts of the GZ (there are none) as part of his efforts to build up the kid’s confidence (outside his overcompensating ego) and help him learn to grow into his own person.
Bonus!
Danny and Clone!Damien are the downstairs neighbors to none other than Jason Peters (aka Jason Todd). They both clock him as Red Hood pretty quickly, but it takes much longer for them to connect him to the Waynes, so he’s kinda just their marginally more normal neighbor who happens to be a crime lord and who, for some reason, tends to check up on them a lot. (Originally this was because RH thought Danny might be an upcoming villain, then because he didn’t understand how Danny was alive, and then Clone!Damien moved in and he started checking to make sure that he didn’t murder Danny in his sleep). Luckily, Jason is a fantastic cook, so they are both grateful (to varying degrees) for his nosiness. (Is this a Dead on Main situation, are they just good friends? Who’s to say? You. Or me. But probably you.)
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littledead-ridinghood · 10 months
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sorry if this is a weird question to drop on you you were just the first person I thought of who might know but do you know if it's canon/canonically-based evidence that jason is physically stronger than other bats because I always see people say jason is the one with "brute strength" and I can't remember if that's based on anything besides people saying that as a nicer way to call him a brute(maybe it was on lobdells stuff? but I wiped most of those out of my memory)
You thought of me first? <333333 I'm blushing. And it's not weird at all! Even if it was, I love answering weird shit.
Anyway:
So part of Jason being considered "the muscle" of the bats comes from the fact that Jason's currently the biggest of the robins. (Adult!Damian is usually drawn as the tallest of the kids when all is said n' done (that's vague for "age")).
Well, how big then?
I always go with this chart which was released while UtRH was being released:
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(I Love this! I wish DC still did little info things like this within their comics. Or maybe they do and I'm just blind. But Look! Canonical Information!)
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So canonically speaking, at least when running around pre-crisis, Jason is 6 feet tall and 180 pounds. (Also note criminal mastermind and put a pin in it)
But you've probably heard 200 & 220 thrown around a lot. Those numbers are specifically pulled from two different DC character encyclopedia books which I don't trust at all because there notoriously filled with false information and are dubbed as not canon all the time.
Personally, I use the 6', 180-195 pound range which estimates for fluctuating weight, the passage of time, muscle mass, and minimum bulk & cutting (which I assume is part of most superheroes' training to stay in fighting form, but please recognize that vigilantes are more athlete than bodybuilder) because it's from a canon source (Canon is "king" and all that). No shame to people who use the other numbers or even headcanon something completely different, but again, vigilantes are predominantly running all over cities day after day, not stagnant weight lifters. Cardio vs weights body compositions are quite different even if both are healthy. (And it's not all "swimmer's body illusion" either (they have that body because they swim? No, they swim because they have that body.)
How much muscle mass a person can maximally obtain is up to your genetics. But that max only comes with constant maintainment. It's not feasible for Jason to be doing all that cardio and also have that much muscle mass and fat. Cardio burns "fat" (calories), weights build muscle. We constantly see the former and former-adjacent workouts more than the latter with him. Jason is running across rooftops, flipping off them before falling into a shoulder roll onto the next roof over chasing after bad guys every night. The number of calories he'd have to eat and time put into lifting weights (too many reps a week lead to damage, not growth) to maintain his max (max being what a lot of weights category athletes try to achieve which Jason just hasn't been shown to be (except in his jailbird phase where he could literally only lift weights, read, and avoid being killed to pass the time)) isn't possible.
Using comic art to "prove" how much he weighs doesn't work either. Firstly, because everyone wears weight differently. Two people can be the same height, weight, and sex and look completely different. This is due to different body types, composition, genetics, diet, (what kind of) exercise, and many other factors. Assuming someone thinner is automatically "super light" doesn't factor in different body compositions (fat, muscle, bone percentages). (yes, I know it's stupid to apply science to comics. There's my digression. let me live). Secondly, Jason (just like everything else about him) isn't drawn consistently at all. Sometimes he's pretty damn massive, but we also have Twink and Twunk Jason (DC can't even decide on hair color? Do you think they're gonna decide on his body?).
So, comic book art isn't super reliable as evidence unless we want to theorize if, how, and why he seems to fluctuate between weights all the time (<- Which I have a whole headcanon about if anyone's curious), especially in comparison to the others because, seriously, it's totally a Jason thing. Most characters are pretty consistent in body type. Anyway, someone could argue "See! he is 210!" but it's also not for a long enough period to stick around :/ Again, hard to consistently maintain that much weight as a 6-foot-tall, cardio-based athlete.
Also note: DC is horrible when it comes to weight-to-height lineups. A woman hero can be ~5'7'' and then we're told she's 110 lbs which Fact 1. is considered underweight for this kind of height-to-sex ratio, Fact 2. probably isn't factoring in the fact that muscle is heavier than fat, she just "looks thin", and 3. Usually, totally, absolutely is just blatant sexism.
Really, the numbers don't seriously mean anything of actual substance because their comics, are unreliable, and also usually just...scientifically wrong. But Jason's perception on page, as well as the information we've been told, is one reason he's considered "brute strength first and foremost."
Furthermore, Jason has been shown repeatedly to be on par with Bruce (even when Jason, most of the time, plays defense in their physical fights) but many people chalk this up to him and Bruce having similar physiques making it "easier". Again, counter-productive argument because Bruce and Jason have been drawn very similarly before in stories as well as completely different from each other in others. Also, this purposefully, blatantly ignores Jason's actual skills. No one chalks Dick Grayson or Cassandra Cain beating Bruce up to their body types. Moreover, when Bruce and Jason are drawn similarly in body, no one refers to Bruce as "Brute Strength" either. Bruce gets to be tactical, strategic, clever. (Also Also: In Pre-Crisis, Bruce, Dick, and Jason are deliberately drawn to look similar (height, mass, looks, etc.) to get that Brothers in Blood effect. Still, No one chalks the formers up to all strength. Just Jason)
And that brings us to your question, Anon: Is there canonical evidence for Jason being stronger than the other Bats?
Remember how I told you to put a pin in that "Occupation: Criminal Mastermind" note? Well, first off, Jason creating jobs for his community. Go off, king. Second off, and more importantly so, "Mastermind": a person who supplies the directing or creative intelligence for a project (Merriam-Webster).
When Jason was first re-introduced, what made Jason dangerous was that he was highly skilled and smart. He was playing with both Black Mask and Batman like a cat batting a toy mouse. He orchestrated an entire "slow-growing" takeover of Gotham's underworld (he was actually very quick about it). Jason controlled the situation and planned so well that he had the villains and heroes who were both after him fighting each other so he could slip away and do what he actually needed to do.
Throughout Jason's history, he's always had tools with him when he fights. To the point that Bruce says to Jaybin "You won't always have this" cutting his utility belt, insinuating he relies too much on it, which Jason returns the favor to on his return and fights B hand to hand <3 Love a cocky callback. Furthering this, he knows many, many different fighting styles and techniques both from life experience and from extensive training. Jason's a quick learner by nature and is incredibly adaptive. Guns; knives; swords; pens; sets bombs to specifically implode, not explode; makeshift gadgets; a baseball bat just laying around; a tire jack that one time; brains. I could go on. Jason doesn't just hit things. He uses what he has as a means to an end. He's canonically known as one of the best strategists in-universe and is incredibly creative with his surroundings. Jason isn't just great at extensive, long-term planning either. Bruce himself has remarked on the fact that Jason thinks incredibly quickly on his feet, he's really good at improvisation. Concisely, he has plans A-G and if all those fail, he can pull something out of nothing. Contrast this with Bruce who needs to have a plan for everything. Even if it doesn't look like he's following a plan, Bruce is. Opposed to Jason who can go with the flow and figure it out along the way.
Jason even said this in present-era in TFZ:
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And that's the whole point, isn't it? Jason is strong. Incredibly so. He's big and tall and has gorgeous thighs. Not to mention, has a mean right hook. But just because Jason's strong doesn't mean he isn't a bat first and foremost who relies on his brain before anything else. He died 4'6 (on his death certificate, his height varies depending on what source you pull) and famously had to defend himself his entire life ever before being Robin. Being young and small and forced to survive shaped Jason into a quick thinker who could either get away or take enemies 10x his size down. Nowadays, he just has a longer reach.
In Event Levithan when Damian says: "Jason Todd is one of the Great Master fighters of all time" He doesn't say strongest because Damian doesn't mean strongest. Damian means adaptable, smart, capable, and well-rounded in skill.
While I don't doubt that Jason is most definitely one of the strongest Bats due to his size, what makes Jason dangerous is not his body, but the fact that he knows how to use it. It's not "Brute Strength" as many people like to say, it's Strategic Strength. He knows just because he's stronger than someone doesn't mean he'll always win. A la see panels above. Jason knows throwing his body around won't do anything of real, long-term substance. That it's just blindsided and stupid.
I'm sure if I looked I could pull panels where other bats and/or vigilantes refer to Jason as the muscle, brute (strength), all brawn (no brain), other such implications, etc, but whenever people do, it's always to undermine Jason's skill. Because it's not actually about his strength. Jason, with his taller, more built form, makes walking quiet seem easy. And it looks easy because he's good. Jason himself knows his skill set, it's everyone else that undermines him time and time and time again. (Again, Event Levithan, Bruce doesn't agree with Damian's statement even though Jason just outsmarted the six or so people who all just tried to take him down (for something Jason didn't even do, mind you))
But, again from Damian, Jason's not known as "the muscle," he's "the emotional one" also usually used to...degrade Ja--We can't have anything nice apparently is what I'm saying. But yes, when people refer to Jason as "Brute Strength" it's usually them trying to find a nicer way of saying Brute or "thinks with his fists" or "Jason hits first, asks questions later." It's in the same vein as when people say "Jason likes books" as short-hand for "see, he's smart at something" rather than acknowledging that Jason achieved a degree's worth of knowledge in comp-sci by age 13.
Anyway Smart and Strong Jason, my beloved. I wish DC & others loved you as much as Rosenburg and the teams of artists he's been working with do.
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celaenaeiln · 10 months
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Bruce: *sees a motorcade come up on his right* *ignores*
Timmy in the back eying the group suspiciously: ….
*tapping on glass*
Dick: B, there’s someone tapping on my side.
Bruce: Don’t roll the window down they could be-
Dick: *already rolling the window down* *GASP* ROMMEY?! ROMMEY! ROMMEY!!
A 45 yr old grizzled man with a smoker’s voice, nicknamed Rommey by Dick: heya Dickie, how it’s going kiddo.
Dick: ROMMEY IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
Another motorbiker with a full claw scar down his face: what about the rest of us, kid? Forget about us?
Dick: MANES! DERRICKA! IZZY!!
Derrick-I take down mercenaries for fun but let a kid I like call me DERRICKA-Rolan: You little shit, why’d we not hear from you after you fucked off to neverland huh?!
Isabella-what? Someone went missing? I had nothing to do with it, it’s total coincidence that I hated him-Hodges: Maybe he doesn’t like us, Der. That right, Dickie?
Dick: *flabbergasted* No!! It’s a long story! After I left I ran out of gas and then some girl crashed into my bike and sent it flying off the cliff but I dove off it first and then I had to walk to the nearest motel on bare feet because I gave her my shoes and then I met this half bear half man and I’ll be pleased to tell you that it was a beary bearable encounter once he got his bearings hahahahaha- *progressively climbing out of the car as the story goes on*
Bruce: Dick! Get back in the car! *having one hand on the steering wheel and grabbing the back of his shirt with the other to keep his wayward son from falling out*
Dick: Wait- *accidently twisting too far and nearly braining himself on the speeding asphalt*
Rommey: DICK!
Bruce: DICK!
Rommey, Derricka, Izzy, and Manes: *grabbing the front half to prevent Dick from becoming like two-face*
Bruce: *letting go of the wheel to grab Dick’s bottom half for the same reason*
Tim: *high pitched screaming from the back* DICK! Tₕₑ Wₕₑₑₗ! ₜₕₑ Wₕₑₑₗ!!!
Bruce: *struggling to pull his son in while the motorcade struggles to pull him out to sit on a bike thus leading to Dick hanging in limbo out the window of a car going 80mph on a freeway* GRAB THE WHEEL TIM
Tim: *sacrificing a few ribs on the edge of the front car seat* IM TRYING! I CANT REACH THE CRUISE CONTROL AND DONT LEAN BACK AND OH MY GOD SIGN POST! SIGN POST! THE POST! THE POSSSTTTTT!!!
Dick, Bruce, Tim, and motorcade: *furious screaming and shouting and panicking*
*2 hours later*
*Arriving at the manor*
Jason: damn what happened to you lot, you look like you went through hell and back.
Bruce and Tim: *drained, pale-faced, messy, sweating, and heaving*
Dick: *a curl of hair falling elegantly into his shining eyes* I just had the time of my life, Jay!
Jason who is well acquainted with Dick’s “Time of the life”s: ah. My condolences.
Tim: Never again. *flopping on the ground and cater-pilling his way up the stairs*
Damian: Father, this is such disgraceful attire! Fix yourself at once, mother would be embarrassed by such a visage! What in holy reincarnation have you been doing?!
Bruce: Never again, Dick.
Dick: it’s nothing Dami, they were just helping me.
Damian: Father, I am ashamed of you. Why must you devolve to such a state when you assist Grayson, he is perfectly capable of extraordinary feats without your input. I suggest you refrain from interfering with his success again.
Bruce:
Bruce: Damian, you-
Dick: Bruce. *smiling pleasantly*
Jason: *immediately sneaking off*
Bruce’s life momentarily flashing before his eyes: …..nothing. Go finish your homework. *trudging off to whine to Alfred about how no one’s gonna believe him*
Dick: *sincerely* what a great day! 😊
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strange-birb · 6 months
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Guys I need your help!!! I want to make a name for the secret band AU. Like what would their band name be?
Could you guys comment or dm me your thoughts and if I have enough I’ll do a poll
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stealingyourbones · 1 year
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*slides the bottom jaw of a musky across the table*
Imagine if you will, that if enough people died in a similar way or by the same person, and wanted revenge enough to form as ghosts, that they may form together as a collective ghost.
Say there was a collective ghost of Joker’s victims.
Say Jason became part of that collective after he died.
Say it’s pretty difficult to remove just a singular soul from such a large collective in a bout of spontaneous resurrection without dragging others along for the ride.
You might think that those extra passengers might be hanging around in the back of Jason’s head, making him…. pretty angry, and particularly Obsessive in his revenge even.
(Long story short if I wasn’t wasn’t making sense, Jason’s Pit Rage is just the voice/emotions of other -or even all- of Joker’s victims that make him lash out.)
I had no idea what a musky is so I googled it. Thank you for introducing me to the existence of Musk Deer they are so incredibly adorable.
now on that note, this idea is akin to If You Give A Bat a Burger so go check that out.
but this. this idea. its sUCH an incredibly neat concept. The voices of the ones who were killed by the Joker urge him to make the Clown Prince of Gotham pay for his crimes. They egg on Jason's anger. They must convince him to make the clown pay.
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introspectivememories · 8 months
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tim is the ceo of wayne ent. and therefore makes the most money in the relationship and i just know bernard "obessed with shitty wattpad fics" dowd, laughs every time he sends tim off to work. just laughing to himself in the kitchen saying, "i married the billionaire ceo?!"
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fairyroses · 9 hours
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He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.
— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)
+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):
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#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#jason teague#lionel luthor#clark isn't in these scenes but they're still very much#clex#sv 4x21#sv 7x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#'why can't you see what's right in front of your face lex?' god. god. godddd.#I think there's a really interesting discussion to be had (with many potential viewpoints)#re: to what extent lex actually knew the truth either consciously or subconsciously at any particular time#and how much he was just in denial about it (and why)#I'm not really prepared to have that discussion in these tags but like#let's face it - lex figured out that clark had powers all the way back in 1x12#just because clark convinced him he was wrong at the time doesn't mean he just forgot that whole thing#and yet it seemed like the more seasons went on and the more obvious the truth became#especially the fact that clark was so heavily tied to all the alien weirdness of smallville#the more lex seemed to (subconsciously?) push back against accepting or recognizing that truth#I mean that's literally what he's doing in the 4x21 scene with jason#so it's like he both desperately wanted to know clark's secret but also didn't want to know at all#and that's just SO interesting#I mean jesus the 7x20 scene is supposed to be peak evil lex and yet he STILL has to be pushed into accepting the truth#and he does so with his eyes glistening because yeah he wanted to know clark's secret once upon a time but he never wanted THIS#(remember when lex told jonathan in s1 that he just wanted clark to have a happy normal life bc clark was such a good person?#and then he's told in 7x20 that to save the world he has to KILL clark and take that life away from him hahaha [crying] it's fine I'm FINE)#wow I really said 'I'm not prepared to have this discussion' and then just. proceeded to have it anyway huh. lmao oops
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mikakuna · 17 days
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jason being built like a tank in human form but having the most adorable and tiny animal form is so real
like here's all the bats lined up as these big, ferocious animals and then you look down and see a little kitten or bunny
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thecruellestmonth · 2 years
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