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skylarsblue · 1 year

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✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, AGAIN AGAIN✦

Ghost: Release me, woman. Fem!Y/N: …. *hugs him tighter* :3 Ghost, scared of intimacy: UNHAND ME!- -- (Comedic Death Mention) Someone: I shot you six times hOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! Y/N: Fool! The only one that’s gonna knock me off is ME! Price: *PANICKING*

-- Gaz: What did you do? Soap: ….suckdickonaccident Gaz: What? Soap: Sucked dick on accident! Gaz: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SU-

-- Gaz: Here. We’ll put your phone on the aux- Y/N: NO DON’T- Speakers on full volume: FUCKFUCKFUCKMEUPANDCUTCUTCU- Price: JESUS BLOODY CHRIST *shuts off radio* Soap: *scratching the inside of his ear* Steamin’ Jesus- Y/N: I tried to warn you! Gaz: Who listens to Slipknot at 0900?! Ghost: *raises hand* Gaz: That’s- okay that’s fair. Soap: I’ve gone deaf. Y/N: You’re a bomb tech, it was gonna happen eventually. Soap: *middle finger* Price: *disappointed sigh* It’s too early for this-

-- (This one’s kinda sad but I couldn't stop thinkin' bout it-) Alejandro: You used to be nice…or did you never used to be? Valeria: … Alejandro: Oh god…maybe you never used to be…

-- Not a quote but if any of you have heard that audio that’s the names of the Princes of Hell overlayed on Funky Town, please imagine Soap & Y/N dancing to the Funky Town portion while Ghost sits there menacingly. Thank you.

-- (Depression joke) Y/N: Ahaaaa I’m soooo unwell. Price: Go to the psyche- Y/N: Ya know what it never was? That serious. It was never that serious- Price: Get your ass back here- Y/N: NEVER!-

-- König: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die. Horangi: No-

-- (Valeria has no color here, I ran out) Valeria: *eye roll* I am not trying to seduce you. Y/N, bi panicking: …. Valeria, but now smug: Would you like me to seduce you? Y/N: *strained wheeze & squeaky* Already achieved ma’am- Gaz: *listening to a mic implanted on Y/N* God damnit dON’T LET YOUR MOMMY ISSUES RUIN THIS MISSION!

-- (These next two have mental health jokes in’em) Y/N, hyper cleaning the base: AHAHA, yes! I’m finally feeling bett- ah, wait. I’m manic, and I’m hyper cleaning everything, ✨as a diversion✨. Price: P s y c h e . Y/N: Jokes on you, old man. I already have meds for this! …might need to up them though they feel like they’ve stopped working. Price: When did you start to feel they weren’t working? Y/N: Like three months ago. Price: PSYCHE Y/N: ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT MEDS ARE SCAAAARRYYY Price: YOU KILL MEN ALMOST EVERYDAY Y/N: Fair point. (Take ya meds)

-- Price: I don’t understand you- Y/N: Good! Means you’re probably mentally well. Price: I- Gaz: We really need to like- specify when you’re joking and when you’re serious, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.

-- Gaz: …Hm. Price: You’ve been staring at me for the past six minutes, what is it?Gaz: I think you have a grey hair. Price: Y/N, speeding in: WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE, IT’S BARELY EVEN THERE AND EVEN IF YOU WERE GOING GREY IT’D LOOK FANTASTIC ON YOU. Price: …would it? Y/N: Absolutely! …*thumps Gaz in the back of the head* Gaz: Ow-Uh yeah! Yeah! Actually I don’t even think it’s there, just the lighting. Price: Hm…alright. Y/N: Mhm! *death glare* Gaz: *mouthing* I’msosorry-

-- (Will someone please notice that I write Ghost as "Simon" when he's with Soap and they're being soft? It's intentional-) Soap: I’m not really sure what I’d do if I lost you… Simon: I know what I’d do. Soap: What? Simon: I’d find you.

-- Soap: I got my ankles microwaved. Ghost: X-rayed. Soap: They took my blood away for science! Ghost: Cholesterol tests. Soap: Si had his sinuses…removed? Ghost: Looked at. Soap: Some guy looked at my penis, touched it. That was weird. Ghost, cleaning blood off a knife: That guy wasn’t even a doctor.

-- Medic!Y/N: You think killing is hard? Try healing something. That is hard, that requires patience. Alejandro, watching them bandage his hand: Hm… Medic!Y/N: You can break something in two seconds. *vaguely motions to Ghost, then Price, then at a necklace Alejandro wears that came from Valeria* But it can take forever to fix it. Alejandro: …aye…well said.

-- Gaz: *being annoying and singing a song for the 10,000th time* Price: KYLE! Gaz: I’m watchin’ my tone, dunana. I ain’t talkin’ back, no, why? Cause I’ma get thrown, dunana-

-- Graves: You know, Ghost, real talk bro, you never say nothin’ when you’re around us. Why is that? Ghost: Cause I don’t fucking like you guys.

-- Enemy: I’m gonna send you to God. Y/N: God? I’m insulted you think I’d end up in Heaven. I work hard for my sins, thank you very much. Ghost: We are hostages right now, can you please not-

-- Valeria: And guess who gets to be my little helper.~ Y/N: It’s me, I’m the helper… Valeria: That’s right, you sure are.~ Alejandro: Alright that’s enough! Valeria: What? You don’t believe in positive affirmation?

-- Rudy: Me gustan los perros. Alejandro: Me gustas… Rudy: ….hm. Me gusta un hombre en el ejército. Alejandro: Aye? Rudy: Mhm. Alejandro: *chuckles* Me gusta mi mejor amigo. Rudy: Me gustas.

(This was poorly translated but listen, I tried for the gays)

-- Price: You actually were telling the truth. Valeria: I do that quite a lot, you people are always surprised.

-- Laswell: Don’t pull any of those stunts like you did last time. Fem!Y/N: I made an offering. Laswell: You dropped a dead mouse into that poor man’s lap. Fem!Y/N: Yes! Like a cat. Laswell: You are not a cat! Fem:Y/N: No…tragically, I am a woman.

-- Ghost: Some people are simply…better than others. Graves: You really think you’re that much better than me? Ghost: Oh I think we both know the answer to that.

(Needing to fake a date for a mission) Y/N, on the phone: Laswell, I don’t need help with dating. I’ve been on loads of dates! Y/N: *turns and whispers to Gaz* I’ve literally been on one.

-- Enemy: Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid. Enemy: Where’s your captain and why hasn’t anyone been able to contact him? Y/N: I dunno, I’ve been here, haven’t seen him in days. Enemy: Is he drinking again? Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop. Enemy: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to? Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, I’ll give’im the field sobriety test, okay? We’ll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.

-- Graves: And that’s why I personally, don’t agree with your opinion. Soap: Okay, counter point- Graves: Valid argument? Soap: No. Pipebomb!

-- Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Y/N: I’ma instigate. Gaz, lightly pulling them back: nnnnoooooooooo-

-- Y/N: Eeraaawr >:3 Gaz: What sound is that? Y/N: A dyianosaur Gaz: A what? Y/N: Dianoswaur. Gaz: Make the sound again. Y/N: Uurraawer Gaz: Oh you talkin’ bout them things from ✨Jerressi PerAHck✨ Y/N: AHAH! Ghost: I’m gonna lose it. Soap: Hush yer mouth, it’s cute. Lighten up ya big log.

-- Ghost: I think I’ve finally had enough. Y/N, getting his antidepressants: I think you’re full of shit.

-- Medic!Y/N: C’mon, stick with me, Ghost. Ghost: Might be time to follow my call si-OH FUCKING HELL WHY Medic!Y/N: You listen here you Fuckin’ bastard, I’m gonna love the absolute shit out of you until you never make a joke like that again. And then, if you still do it, I’ll have the team smother, smother, you in affection. And if you STILL don’t get it, THEN I’m gonna whoop your ass. Shut your perfect fucking mouth, you got that, soldier?! Ghost: ….since when did you get scary? Medic!Y/N: Adrenalin keeps people alive and sometimes we run out of epipens, had to substitute somehow.

-- Price: Now, sergent, what would you rather be? A lion or a panda? Soap: Captain, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else? Price: I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that is.

-- Ghost, pissed off: Sometimes I can’t stand you. Y/N, while walking away: Then kneel! And while you’re down there, occupy your mouth, you’d do better down there, QUIET, anyway!! Ghost: I-…… Soap: Oooooo…. Gaz: I- I-…they have no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!

-- (Younger Y/N as in like…mid-late twenties. Also, this one is long. I might honestly make a lil oneshot with this one and I welcome anyone else to do the same) Y/N: John… Price: I know, I know. You love me. You’ve said it a thousand times and it should just stick, I just…can’t help but think about how you’re so… Y/N: *snort* Out of your league? Price: To put it bluntly. Y/N: Well, regardless of where I rank? I still love you. I’m going to love you for a long time, you’re stuck with me, ya sweethearted bastard. Price, fondly: Ah Dear, whatever will I do. Y/N: Yeaaaah. Besides! Even if I wasn’t completely and utterly, disgustingly, in love with you? …you are way too good of a sugar daddy to ditch. Price: Hah! Oh really? Why’s that? Y/N: Are you kidding?! Paid off house, paid off car, successful military captain, great manners, great dick, extremely attractive, good with kids, good cook, sexy voice. I could go on for awhile. Price: Oh now you’re just feedin’ my ego. Y/N: Yes, yes I am. Price: I’ll get cocky. Y/N: You’re sexy when you’re arrogant too, that doesn’t deter me. Price: *sigh* Far out of my league. Y/N: You’re a rank climber, I think you’ll keep up.

-- (NSFW but it's in a ha-ha funny way, based on a conversation I've had. Kink mentions) Soap: Look, I just...I need advice on how to spice it up in the bedroom. Y/N: Do you know how little that narrows it down? Gaz: I feel there are few options. Y/N: No there are a lot of options, it depends on your level of spice. I dunno your boundaries wit'cha man! Soap: I just need something! Y/N: THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS! Get some handcuffs, grab a vibrator, TRY ANAL, I don't fucking know! Gaz: *chokes on drink* Soap: Okay, listen- Y/N: No, you listen. Rule of thumb with kinks? It's a mountain and there are three kinds of people on it. People who don't wanna climb, people who want to climb but choose not to, and people who stay climbing. You reach a level of kinkiness and you stay there. You can't go back down the mountain. Me, personally? I have chosen to stop climbing because I know I'll get worse. I'm choosing to stay on my part of the mountain. Where you wanna climb is up to you. Soap: Where do I climb then? Y/N: The beginner's trail is fuzzy handcuffs, orgasm control, and mirror sex. Soap: This is the weirdest advice I've ever gotten. Y/N: It's my specialty.

-- (Follow it up with an asexual joke) Graves: Are you fighting the urge to make out with me right now? Y/N: Not really, I'm really into this pizza though. Soap, in the back: Aw they burnt my fuckin' cookies! Assholes. Y/N: Karma. Soap: It is not my fault I ate the last slice of cake, I didn't know it was yours- Y/N: IT WAS LABELED! Soap: I DIDN'T SEE IT!! Graves: *slowly backs away*

-- Y/N, holding up a coffee pot: Anyone want more coffee? Price: No, we've all had ours. Y/N: *takes off the lid* Cool. Gaz: What are y-NO! Y/N: *chugging from the pot* Ghost: ...This is the peak of mental illness. Price: PUT THE DAMN POT DOWN! Soap: This is the scariest thing I've ever seen them do- Y/N: *fighting to finish the coffee as Price tries to get it away from them*

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luxthestrange · 10 months

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TWST Incorrect quotes#562 The Day I lost you...

Now imagine You did indeed...Went into the past and got to interact with General Lilia, Baul, and a small baby malleus...but he was still too full of anger...didn't wanna change, While there was love between you two...he was too wrapped up in his...hate to allow the idea of marriage between you two...so when the opportunity came...you saw best to leave back to earth...He was never the same after that, Everyone felt your loss...but he took it as a wake-up call, He tried to look for you that's why he traveled the world but...As the years passed...he knew no mortal could live so long...Now he is In NRC and saw...the transfer student...It's You...He knows it's you...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He gasps as if seeing a ghost... and drops the books that he was holding with a clatter, You stand some twenty paces ahead of him, blocking the path, And lets out an audible shudder upon seeing him...The Fae you fell in love even the not-so-good moments before...you left

Yuu*Rattled but holding your chin up*I know what you're going to say, How could I have done this? Stayed away all of this time, And why didn't I come back to you? To our home...

Lilia steps towards You, wide-eyed and speechless, Grim emerges from behind You, Hissing protectively

Yuu: Well, what sign did I have that you could change!? That anyone at that time could?

Yuu: I pleaded so many times to stop the fighting between you all, to find another answer, but did any of you listen?-DID YOU LISTEN TO ME!

Sebek: This is why I will never marry!*Frowns, seeing you flustered and angry at Lilia * This and one other reason...

He continues to close the gap, mesmerized. With every step, You become increasingly flustered, And you back into the wall, with nowhere to go, and He is just a few paces away

Yuu*Tearful but still hissing at him* I know that I left you alone... but I thought you be better off without me, And I was wrong, I see that now*You eyes glance at Malleus & Silver who brought you to see their Adoptive father/ father*but...

He gently reaches a hand toward your face

Yuu: Oh stop being so stoic, Lilia!?- Go on... SHOUT, SCREAM, SAY SOMETHING!

Lilia*Tears up seeing you so close again, with a breathless whisper*You're as beautiful as the day I lost you...

His words snuff your retort, rendering you speechless, and you soften despite, yielding your cheek to his palm. He caresses your skin as a reluctant tear runs through his fingers.

He pulls you into a kiss, You resist briefly, then gives in, Malleus, Silver, Sebek & Grim softly pleased to see you happy once again...

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sunshinefox35 · 7 months

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Incorrect Quotes COD Pt. 6

Hi guys, sorry for not posting at all, my work has kept me so busy and after long days out on the field, I have no more motivation left. I'll be getting to the requests real soon, I promise. Thank you for being so patient and enjoy another COD shit post!

Roach: "What do you call murder, vandalism and sabotage?" Reader: "Hobbies" Roach: *Gasp* Reader: "...that Reader does not partake in."

Rudy: "Do you think different laundry detergents have different tastes?" Soap: "They do." Reader looking up from their paper work alarmed: "W-why did say that with such certainty?!"

Soap: "Hey Ghost! What are your plans for next year?!" Ghost: "New year new me!" *Burning of Fingerprints*

Reader bleeding out in the back of the ambulance: "But I want it!" Paramedics: *driving past McDonalds* "I said no!"

Soap: "I hate your giraffe looking, Shrek jumbo size, t-rex, palm tree looking musty ass." König: "Need a stool? I couldn't hear you all the way down there."

Alejandro: "A human heart costs around 1 million dollars but I gave you mine for free." Rudy: ... Rudy: Why do you know how much a human heart costs?

Captain Reader: So what do you have to say to a Rookie when he messes up?" Ghost annoyed: "You're unable to work here again." Soap: "You're fired." Gaz: "You're promoted to a customer." Captain Reader: "...I quit."

Price: "My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say." Ghost: "Unrealistic, stick to bondage like the rest of us."

Soap, doodling in his sketchbook: "I wanna do Ghost." Gaz: "Like draw him...?" Soap sweating: "Oh yeah ... I can draw him too." TF 141: ... Ghost: ... Ghost: "Wait what?!"

Gaz: "Dinner's ready!" *Reader walking in to see Gaz sitting seductively on the table* Reader: ... Reader: But it's lasagna night...

Reader: "I was thinking an autumn wedding... not too cold not too hot, you know?" Price: " We aren't engaged!?" Reader: ... Reader: "So THAT'S what I forgot to do yesterday!"

#cod mw2 #soap mctavish #incorrect cod quotes #simon ghost riley #cod x male reader #military reader #Captain Reader #incorrect quotes #soap cod #captain john price #gaz garrick #könig mw2 #soap x ghost #gary roach sanderson #alejandro x rudy #alejandro vargas #rudy cod

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fourraccoonsinacoat · 3 months

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FourRaccoonsInACoat Masterlist

Thanks for stopping by my masterlist, I am thrilled there are people who are interested in my writing! You may be asking, did I really create a logo for a nonexistent book series that only exists in the BG3 universe and features Malta the crime-fighting cat, all for the sake of a gag?

Yes. Yes I did. I will speak no more on the matter.

My fanfiction is centered around Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge. The Durge MC in my works is based on my first BG3 Durge, a female half-drow warlock named Eli. I currently have one ongoing chapter fic, as well as a few one shots that all take place in the same universe.

I write fanfiction for myself as a way to decompress from life and because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. It legitimately makes my day when someone is entertained by my writing, so thank you for every comment, like, message and kudo. Much love and appreciation to you all!

Also, if you're here for BG3 Incorrect Quotes, follow that link for the masterlist.

____________________

AO3 Account - All of my works are crossposted to AO3.

Ongoing Work

Head Full of Ghosts:

Current Rating: M

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Eli has spent a lot of time combing through her fractured psyche, trying to piece together any semblance of facts about who she was before she awoke on a mind flayer nautiloid. In all that self-reflection, she has concluded there are two things she is very good at. Killing people and drinking.

Neither of which is proving very useful as she tries to navigate interpersonal pitfalls after being appointed leader of a ragtag group of maladjusted misfits who are trying to source a cure for the illithid tadpoles in their heads. As if that isn't problematic enough, she's also having to contend with the growing affections between herself and the group's resident vampire spawn, Astarion.

Between fanatic cultists, goblin raids, murderous urges and cryptic memory loss, Eli figures a relationship is the last thing she ought to get herself wrapped up in. And from what she's seen of Astarion, the cavalier rogue seems to have his own breeds of specters haunting his steps.

Neither one of them has any business mucking about with romance. But, neither one of them is particularly good at staying away from things that entice.

____________________

One Shots

In chronological order:

Fall for Me ---> Faint of Heart ---> Midnight Prayer

Fall for Me

Rating: E NSFW18+

Astarion wakes from a nightmare and goes to Eli, seeking reassurance as he struggles with the denial of his feelings. The last thing he wants to do is give someone else control over him, not after he’s so recently regained a taste of freedom. Over the past 200 years, every relationship Astarion was involved in had been nothing more than a means to an end, with Astarion either playing the role of manipulator or the one being manipulated. Attachments were leverage, giving someone a hook they were able to dig their claws into in order to gain ground. Isolating himself from connecting with others was how he had survived.

This, however…this was different.

Rating: M

Faint of Heart

Somewhere along the way, more and more truth has begun to slip into the words Astarion has been using to charm Eli into his bed. He's not sure when it started, but sometime between their passionate nights and hard fought days, genuine feelings began to stir.

It all comes to a head after the crew stages a prison break out of Moonrise Towers. Now, during a rare evening of respite, Astarion is determined to make a confession, regardless of his fears over the fallout.

Rating: M

Midnight Prayer

Neither Eli nor Astarion knows what they're doing when it comes to romance. Their combined histories with healthy relationships adds up to an unsurprising total of zero. Astarion once admitted to Eli that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she can't remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers are nonexistent…at least…

At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

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jessicas-pi · 10 months

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MORE LIFESWAP AU INCORRECT QUOTES! CAUSE I'M UNSTOPPABLE!

Sabine: Fight me! Ezra, standing behind her with a knife, a blaster, and a flamethrower: *whispers* Do not. [or, conversely] Ezra: Fight me! Sabine, standing behind him with two lightsabers: *whispers* Do not.

---

Ezra: Thought I was meowing back at my Loth-cat for the past hour, but it was just me, Kanan, and Sabine meowing at each other from different rooms in the Ghost.

---

[at the beginning] Sabine: Are we really going to let Hera keep Ezra? Kanan: We kept you.

---

Sabine, eyes glowing: With great power comes a ton of weird crap you are not prepared to deal with.

---

The Armorer: So, how long have you and that girl been together? Ezra: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sabine and I are not together. No. No. The Armorer: The Armorer: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

---

Sabine: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. Ezra: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Sabine: Absolutely not.

---

Ezra, to Sabine: If you don't want me to follow you into fire then DON'T RUN INTO FIRE!

---

Vader: You have made a grave mistake, Jedi. Sabine: I make grave mistakes all the time. Everything seems to work out...

---

Hera: Is something burning? Kanan, leaning on the counter: Just my love for you. Hera: Kanan, the toaster is literally on fire.

---

Ezra: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

---

Ezra: What would your Jedi Master think of me helping you do this? Sabine: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told her?

---

Hera: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

---

Sabine, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

---

Hera: Are you trying to give me an aneurysm? Ezra: Pretty sure we all are. Kanan: I wasn't. Sabine: I was. Okadiah: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration. Chopper: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

---

Sabine: You must feel horrible. You've lost everything. Your clan, your heritage, your status as a Mandalorian... Ezra: Thank you for summing that up.

#lifeswap au #twin blades and beskar au #sabezra #kanera #ezra bridger #sabine wren #hera syndulla #kanan jarrus #okadiah garson #incorrect quotes

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shadowsageingempress · 5 months

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Weiss: What's the stupidest argument you've ever gotten into?

Vincent: The other members of Avalanche and I got into a huge fight over the question 'how deep can a pan get before it becomes a pot?' It took a half hour before we realized what we were arguing about.

Shelke: Pan has one handle, pot has two.

Lucrecia: Vin and I definitely have pots with one handle.

Shinzizi: Oh shit.

Wolf: I always thought a pan has the long handle and pots had no handle or two looped handles.

Vincent: No handle? That's like cooking on expert, yes?

Nero: I've never seen a pot with two handles in my life.

Sydney: It's the first image for 'pot!' Have you ever been in a kitch- oh wait... Forget I asked. Sorry.

Luigi: Once sauce becomes soup, obviously.

Daisy: But if you make soup in a saucepan, is it still soup? Would sauce in a soup pan become soup?

Winds: Pan is square. Pot is circle.

Wolf, holding a pan with a right angle: What's this?

Shinzizi: Three inches is a sauté pan, four inches is a pot.

Sydney: What if it's three and a half inches? Is it a jacuzzi for guinea pigs?

Wave: Evewy pan is a pot, not evewy pot is a pan.

Lucrecia: It's actually the other way around. Every pot is a pan, not every pan is a pot.

Tetra: Get wrecked, are you saying I cook my baked beans in a fucking pan? You daft wanker?

Daisy: If you can't boil an egg in it, it's not a pot, you jackass!

Sephiroth, rejoining the group: I'm too lazy to check what everyone here has said. But once the height of the pan is more than one third the radius of the bottom- it's a pot, not a pan. My source is the Shin-Ra Soldier unit survival guide, it was the dumbest question I had to answer, so I'll remember it forever.

Shinzizi: Finally! Well, that's that settled.

Wave: How cuwved can a fwying pan be befowe it becomes a wok?

Sydney: Oh, GODS!

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ancientsweek · 1 month

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Ancients Week 2024 (!!!)

Welcome to Ancients Week 2024! This is a KOTLC fan-week dedicated to Ancient elves — because the concept of elves old enough to remember the very distant past is deeply fascinating, and because I love the Ancients. This event will be running from July 7th to July 14th 2024 (so a week and an extra day, but we'll call it a week for simplicity's sake). This is the first time I'm running this event (and, for that matter, any fandom event), so please be kind if I mess up somewhere. I'll try not to :)

Rules

DO NOT USE AI. NONE WHATSOEVER. I'm being serious. (although I'm pretty sure anyone won't, it doesn't hurt to state it outright)

No negativity on others' posts! We're all here to have fun.

And on that note, have fun!!!

PROMPTS!!

Questions I Anticipate Getting

What can I make?

Anything! Fanfic, fanart, headcanons, meta, memes, incorrect quotes, dashboard simulators (those fake dashboard things), whatever — nothing is out of bounds!

Whom/what can I make something about?

Ancients! You can make any kind of fan piece about any and all Ancients, including implied/textual-ghost Ancients (like Bronte's mother, or Fintan's dead friends, who would have been Ancient had they survived into the modern day), characters you headcanon as Ancient, Ancient OCs, and even younger characters written as Ancients, so long as your piece involves an Ancient or is Ancients-centric somehow. So basically, go wild and have fun!

When will prompts be up?

If I stay on schedule, prompts should be up on (or in the week of, depending on what's going on) May 1st 2024. In the meantime, I'd love it if you could send prompt suggestions to this blog! I can only put seven prompts up but, I'd love to hear your ideas!

Do I have to complete every prompt or post every day?

No, you do not have to complete every prompt, or post every day! Feel free to post late, skip days, ignore the prompts, combine the prompts and so forth — do only as much as you want to. Remember, Ancients Week is a fun little thing and also a state of mind not bound by petty things like dates. (And I'd genuinely be delighted if I saw new ideas I hadn't considered and new posts in the tag even months later.)

How do I tag my works?

I will be tracking the #ancients week 2024 tag, so please tag your fanworks with that! You can also tag @ancientsweek in your post. All the posts I find will be reblogged to this blog.

Can I post my works elsewhere?

(Not sure if people think about it but I always wonder about it if I'm participating in an event so, here you go.)

Yes! If you would like to cross-post your fanworks onto another site (like AO3, for example), go for it — after all, it's your work, and I can't (and don't want to) dictate where and how you publish it.

Where can I find announcements/reminders/important stuff?

Announcements, reminders, prompt lists, and all other things in the vein of housekeeping will be tagged #proclamations and asides (like this post). You can search for this tag on this blog.

Tag list under cut (I'm extremely sorry if I've forgotten someone)

@drama-llamaaa @fintan-pyren @swans-chirping-in-the-distance @chronically-ill-psionipath @kale-of-the-forbidden-cities @oroshka @ch3shireacat @crescentpaws @autistic-daydreamer @periwinkle-the-11th @lezabeththetheodoraimposter @i-died-dead @heliophilia63194 @mango-cheese67 @chaotic-starlight24 @jkriordanverse @mmeemy @myfairkatiecat @strange-cat (can't seem to be able to properly tag you sorry)

#proclamations and asides #kotlc ancients #ancients week 2024 #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keepblr #it begins...sort of. but it counts!!!

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koreanbibliophilegirl · 3 months

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Made incorrect quotes for Temporal Transcendence(WIP). Why am I so obsessed with incorrect quotes.

Wilbur: You love me, right, Tommy?

Tommy: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Tommy: This is such a bad idea.

Wilbur: Then why are you coming along?

Tommy: One of us needs to be able to talk the other Mages out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Techno: Here's some advice.

Dave the Blood God: I didn't ask for any.

Techno(been a statue for a whole century now): Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who can hear me.

Young Tommy: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Techno: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

Techno: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Wilbur: You need to stop.

Tommy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

The Time Mages: Wasn't Supreme Time Mage Jacobs with you?

Karl: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Wilbur: HELP! I TOLD TECHNO I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phil, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Wilbur: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Tommy: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Wilbur: Yes!

Techno: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Tommy: *Screams*

Sapnap: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Wilbur: Should we do something?

Karl: No, I want to see who wins.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Phil: Shit.

Techno: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Tommy: OH MY GOD WILBUR FELL OFF!!!

Quackity, a Time Mage, about Tommy: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Sapnap: Are we stealing them?

Karl: New or used?

Quackity: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Techno: Bianca, I'm sad.

Bianca Nihachu: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Tommy: Bo, I'm sad.

Bo Underscore, nodding: mood.

Karl: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Tommy: You and me!!!

Karl, tearing up: Okay.

Wilbur: I turned out perfectly fine!

Tommy: Wilbur, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Wilbur: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Phil: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Techno: What's that?

Phil: You've never had leftovers???

Techno(grew up poor): No, because I'm not a quitter.

Tubbo: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Ranboo: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Tommy?

Tommy: Probably "road work ahead".

Techno: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

(These are for the sequel if I ever get around to it)

Wilbur, pretending to be General Soot of L'Manburg: What's up guys? I'm back.

Nemesis Nihachu: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Wilbur, sweating: Death is a social construct.

Tommy: You have to apologize to General Soot.

Wilbur: Fine.

Wilbur: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

General Soot: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.

Wilbur: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Tommy isn't.

Wilbur: I think we're missing something.

Tommy: Teamwork?

Techno: Cohesion?

Nemesis: A general sense of what we're doing?

Tommy: Have you seen a person named 'Technoblade' around here?

Antarctic Empire Citizen: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Tommy: It looks fine to me?

Citizen: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

General Soot: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Tommy: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Tobias: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nemesis: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Techno: Why is Wilbur so sad?

Tommy: He took one of those "Which L'Manburg-Era Historical Figure Are You?" quizzes.

Techno: And...?

Tommy: He got General Soot.

Tommy: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

General Soot: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

General Soot, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Tobias: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Soot, with the tone of someone who is used to Tobias: Outstanding.

Soot: This is what I’m talking about people.

Wilbur: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

General Soot: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Wilbur: Joke's on you, I can't do math.

Tommy: Just be yourself.

Wilbur: 'Be myself'? Tommy, I have one day to win the L'Manburg soldiers over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Tommy: Couple weeks.

Phil: Six months.

Techno: Jury's still out.

Wilbur: See, Tommy?

Wilbur: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

General Soot: I'm an idiot.

Wilbur:

Tommy:

Nemesis:

Techno:

Soot:

Wilbur: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Nemesis: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

Tommy: *sighing* "General Soot".

Wilbur, trying(and failing) to talk like Soot: Fuck shit up out there, but don't die.

Tobias: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

#tommyinnit #technoblade #philza #wilbur soot #tubbo #niki nihachu #nihachu #karl jacobs #quackity #Temporal Transcendence #dream smp #dsmp #Lilly tries to meme #sapnap #(tagged saonap instead of sapnap originally KEKW)#(also the OCs are ancestors of the main gang)

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echocentric · 1 year

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✨ Grishaverse incorrect quotes ✨

Tamar: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Tolya : ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Nina: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.

Kaz: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

Jesper: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

Inej : His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Jesper: That's not what I asked.

Inej : That is all the information I have.

Cop: What are your names?

Zoya: Don't tell them, Nikolai.

Cop, writing: Nikolai...

Zoya: Crap.

Nikolai: Nice going, Zoya.

Cop:

Nikolai: Uh oh.

Genya, texting David : *sends a voice message*

David , texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Genya: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

David : *presses play*

Genya's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Wylan: Why are you on fire?

Kuwei: This is just how my day is going.

Tamar: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Tamar: Not you Nadia. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Genya: Remember what I told you.

Zoya : Don’t be a cunt.

Inej: An Apple a day keeps the Doctor away!

Kaz: An Apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

Nikolai: Can you pass the salt?

Alina : Can you pass away?

Nikolai: Too much salt.

Nina: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?

Jesper: Never seen one.

Nina: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.

Jesper: What can’t I see?

Nina: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.

Jesper: Yeah, I can drop an apple.

Nina: Fuck.

David: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Genya: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #siege and storm #ruin and rising #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #tamar kir bataar #tolya yul bataar #genya safin #david kostyk #nadia zhabin #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky

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shinesurge · 10 months

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I'm sitting around waiting for our car to get serviced so I'm gonna take a minute to write a post I've been chewing on for a little bit lol

I think! A lot of creators talk about 'word of mouth' being the best advertising and it's TRUE they are right but I'm not sure the actual like, function of that is getting across because people still get confused about it when I bring it up, and I keep seeing people frustrated that their efforts aren't working (notably in spaces like the obscure webcomic tournament). Recommending stuff to your friends or writing stuff in to promotional spaces DEFINITELY helps don't stop doing that, but what people ACTUALLY mean by this is getting Visibly Excited about things in spaces where it can break containment.

Fandom content is what gets people into things!! Like, think about everything that "takes off" online; it's not because people post the plot synopsis over and over, or go "please read this it's good," the stuff that actually gets people engaging is seeing some cool fan work or clipped out content and going what the FUCK is that. The Barbie movie probably would have done fine on its own, but the insane phenomenon it's become certainly wouldn't have happened if regular internet users hadn't memed it to hell and back; this stuff works.

I didn't give a SHIT about Persona 5, or The Magnus Archives, or The Adventure Zone or any number of things I got dragged into until I saw fandom content for them. Persona 5 sounds like boring as fuck anime shit on paper, I do NOT care about podcasts, but people kept drawing the COOLEST stuff for them or posting insane fan theories until I HAD to know what was going on. That's what we're talking about with word of mouth! Sincere engagement with the thing is better than any advertising could ever be.

It doesn't have to be creative art or writing either! Make Character Appreciation Posts using the source material! Make an essay-length analysis of the story's themes! Set up a weekly post about how much you love a character or a count of how many days it's been since someone showed up, do Incorrect Quotes or paste tumblr text posts over characters, idk man there's entire blogs dedicated to posting every One Piece panel that has certain characters in it, there are no rules

What I'm saying is if you're wanting to help out smaller creators, please get involved, and PLEASE do it outside insulated places like discord servers. A thriving community that only exists inside a closed server still looks like a ghost town from the outside. "please read this it's got lesbians" helps get something on the radar, making a compilation post of the lesbians and posting it with a link to The Thing gets people's attention.

anyway that's all thanks @ Fans Of All Kinds for caring enough to want to help out independent people to the point i felt like it was worth making a post like this; to be clear, nobody is owed any of this stuff and you're certainly not obligated to put in all this effort to enjoy a thing! but i know a LOT of people are enthusiastic about indie media and want to help out, and sometimes a little extra guidance from the creator perspective helps them figure out how to do that effectively. love you have a good day

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cowgurrrl · 11 months

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Ptolemae

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (except this is all backstory)

Author’s note: I was listening to Ethel Cain the entire time while writing this and it shows

Summary: “Rage is not to be avoided, diminished, belittled. Rage is God. Better believe my rage is steeped in love.” — Shira Erlichman, as quoted in Jacqui Germain’s When the Ghosts Come Ashore [3.8k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, canonical type violence, PTSD symptoms, probably incorrect wound care, angst, feminine rage bordering on insanity (my favorite)

It takes you a full forty-eight hours to approach the soldiers in the center of what's left of the city. They've set up tents and medical sites among the rubble. They're calling themselves the Federal Disaster Response Agency or FEDRA. Their uniforms are identical to the one the woman who was ready to shoot you was wearing. They carry assault rifles and yell orders out, every so often burying a bullet in some Infected's head as they approach the camp. You don't trust them, but then again, you didn't trust many people before the world went to shit. You would've stayed outside the makeshift fence longer, but the graze on your arm is only getting worse, and Jane is only getting hungrier. You can't keep being stubborn when she's relying on you to keep her safe.

You tuck your gun and knife into the very bottom of your backpack, hoping the supplies and half-open gauze packages will distract them long enough to conceal your weapons. Jane watches your movements quietly and curiously. You glance between her and the camp beyond the treeline you're hiding in. She looks like she's aged three years in the past few days, dirt and fear hollowing her features in a way you've never seen before. You smile half-heartedly as you put your hands on her arms and squeeze.

"Hey," you say gently. "It's gonna be okay. We just need to go down there and tell them we need help, just like we practiced. Can you show me what you do?" You ask, and she raises her little hands to show she's unarmed. She's shaking. You can't tell if it's from hunger or fear. You don't know if it matters.

"My name is Jane Eloise. I'm five years old. I'm not sick, and I don't have anything that could hurt you." She says, and you nod.

"That's right. Good job. And then, let Mommy do all the talking, okay? Once they get us all processed, they'll take us wherever they've been taking people all day, and we'll be able to get you some food."

"What about you?" She asks. Jane knows you haven't been eating or sleeping. You gave her all three of the meal packs in the tactical backpack, and she's heard you curse under your breath when you tried to change your bandage. Still, you smile and tuck her tangled hair behind her ears.

"I won't ever leave your side. I'll be right here, holding your hand, and if you're feeling scared, you can squeeze my hand as hard as you can, and I'll take all your fear away," you say, grabbing her hand. "Wanna try?" You ask, and she smiles as she squeezes you with all her might. You make a goofy face, and she laughs for the first time in three days. It sounds like music. Once she's done squeezing your hand, you smile. "So, when you do that, you shouldn't be scared anymore. You should only feel strong and brave. Can you show me a brave face?" You say. She flexes her muscles and mean mugs you until you laugh at her commitment to the bit.

"Did I look scary, Mommy?" She asks, stepping into your arms, and you nod.

"Scariest kid on the block," you say as you hug her. For a moment, the only thing in the world that matters to you is her heartbeat against yours. It's steady and perfect and made from half of you. The consistent thumping gives you enough strength to stand, carry her in your arms, and walk down to where the FEDRA soldiers are stationed.

You're slow and careful as you come down the hill. If you run to them, yelling for help, they'll put a bullet in you without a second thought. They'll think you're sick if you act desperate like that. So you move like you're treading on ice, but even then, ten different guns point in your direction, and you swallow down your fear as you put the hand not carrying Jane in the air. She does the same.

"Stop right there." A FEDRA soldier yells once you're a few hundred feet away. You put Jane down and show them you're unarmed. All the soldiers look identical, with heavy tactical gear, menacing weaponry, and helmets protecting their skulls. Jane reaches for your hand and squeezes hard. You swallow around the lump of bile in your throat and find your voice.

"We're not sick!"

"Names!" One of them yells. Jane immediately launches into her rehearsed speech with one hand above her head and the other tucked in yours. You take a deep breath and tell them your name once she's done.

"I'm her mother. We need help." You say. The soldiers look at each other for several long seconds before lowering their weapons and approaching you. Jane squeezes your hand again and steps back into your body. One soldier removes his helmet and drops to the ground to show Jane that he's just a man. He's got kind eyes and dirt stuck to his skin, but he manages a gentle smile for Jane. You wonder how he would treat you if you didn't have a kid.

"We're gonna take you and your mom to that tent over there to get you checked out," he says, pointing to the tent beside the barely standing fence. "Once the doctors say you're okay, we can take you to a shelter with lots of food and water. Does that sound good?" He asks, and Jane nods hesitantly. The soldier glances between you and Jane before rising to his feet again and leveling you with a look, his grip adjusting on his gun. She's not a threat, he's saying. But you are. "Ladies, first." He gestures toward the tent, his tone starkly different than the one he used with Jane. Your jaw clenches, but you do as you're told. He follows closely behind as you walk over to the tent, the metal of his gun clanking against his gear. It sounds like bones rattling. You do your best to hide the shakiness in your step and keep the hand Jane's holding steady.

He follows you inside the tent, closing the flaps for some semblance of privacy. There's no medical gear inside, just a scary-looking table. Something squishes under your shoes, and you make a conscious effort not to look down at the damp ground as you turn and look at the soldier. "Put your bag down," he orders. You let go of Jane's hand to slowly slide the backpack from your shoulders and place it on the table. His eyes widen as he recognizes the tactical bag. "Where did you get this?"

"I found it in the woods while we were hiding," you lie, squaring your shoulders as he eyes you suspiciously. "Nobody was around, and I thought it could have stuff we needed in it."

"So, you just found and took a military-issued bag and didn't think anything about it?"

"No offense, soldier, but I don't think theft is the worst thing to come out of the past few days." You say, and he squints at you like he's trying to figure out if he believes you. His gun clicks against his gear as you stare each other down.

"I need to know you're not bitten before I can let you go any further," he moves on, and you feel your shoulders drop in relief. You remember seeing those things mercilessly attacking people, ripping their faces off, or chewing on flailing limbs. If getting bitten is how this is spreading, who got bit first? Who started this? The soldier looks down at Jane. "Can you wait outside while I talk to your mommy?" He asks, and you put a hand on Jane's shoulder before she can move.

"She's not going anywhere." You dig your heels in, and you watch his jaw tighten.

"I didn't think you'd want your kid in here when I asked you to strip to check for bite marks."

"The world fucking ended, and you think I'm going to trust you people with my kid after you dropped bombs on us?" You ask, tucking Jane behind you. You've done it so many times in the past few days that it feels natural, putting yourself between her and a threat. "She's staying with me."

"Fine, but I still need you to strip." He sighs, exasperated. You're pulling your arms through your jacket before he can even finish his sentence.

"I'd love nothing more, Waters." You spit, glancing down at the name tag on the front of his uniform. You throw your jacket down on the table holding your backpack, and he freezes when he sees the gauze on your arm. He doesn't move as you pull your shirt over your head to reveal the scrapes and asphalt burns from fighting the infected guy outside your apartment. Your legs don't look much better, the skin broken and stained red. Jane gasps once she sees the cuts and bruises for the first time, and the sound makes you want to cry. Waters gestures with his gun at the bandage on your arm.

"Take it off," he orders. With shaking hands, you peel the gauze back, the graze immediately bleeding and making you hiss as the air hits it. Your hands clench into fists as he looks at it intently. Once he's satisfied, he nods and hands you a new package of gauze. "What happened?"

"We got caught up in the bombings. Cut my arm on a piece of shrapnel." You say as he checks you for anything else that could be a bitemark. Once he's done circling your half-naked body, he clears his throat and turns his back to you so you can redress. You do quickly and painfully, your skin seemingly protesting against the sudden stretching. You ignore the scrapes across your shoulders breaking open, coating the back of your shirt in blood as you pull it over your head. He doesn't turn around until he hears your pants zip back up. You're quietly grateful he decided to be respectful when he could once he decided you weren't a threat anymore.

"You've been out there since the bombings?" He asks, and you nod. He looks at Jane before looking at you again. "And her? She's not sick?"

"If she were, we'd both be dead." You're shocked by the cruelty in your voice, but you don't flinch. Waters gives you a look before moving to your bag and searching through it. If he sees your weapons at the bottom, he doesn't take them or indicate that he knows about them. He zips up your bag and hands it back to you.

"Welcome to the Quarantine Zone."

The shelter isn't even half-full when you get there. What was a high school has since been turned into a home base for any survivors who made it past the FEDRA screenings. They give you a hot meal, blankets, toothbrushes, and a change of clothes. There are no showers, but you're just grateful to get the taste of blood out of your mouth. You and Jane set up your stuff on two little beds next to each other in the corner of an old classroom, your bed closest to the door. There are maybe ten other occupied beds in the room with you. Maybe.

You don't know why, but you search the wartorn faces for your ex. You haven't seen or spoken to Matt since Jane was a few months old, and even then, your last conversation was not one you'd care to relive. Still, part of you had hope that he'd be alive and safe. He's still Jane's father. But you don't find him. You don't see anyone you recognize as you and Jane walk to the medical tent in the old gym. An older woman with bloody scrubs and a clipboard greets you.

"Hey there. What do you need today?" She asks, surprisingly cheerful, and you glance around at the medical supplies.

"I just need some surgical glue. Do you have any?" You say, and she gives you a look before digging around in a bin. She finally comes up with some, and you let out a relieved sigh. "Can I use some? I'll give it right back." You ask. Someone gasps behind you before she can open her mouth to say anything. You quickly pull Jane closer to your body and feel your fists clench as you turn to see who's behind you. When your brain catches up to the fact that an Infected is not rushing toward you, you see Mr. Lowery standing there. Jane wiggles from your arms and runs to him, an excited noise leaving her.

"Jane, oh my goodness. I'm so happy to see you," he says, his gentle teacher voice not wavering even in the apocalypse. You let out a shaky breath as you leave the medical table and walk over to them. Adam says your name in the same breathless tone once he realizes you're there, too, and throws his arms around your shoulders. You yelp in pain as his hand grazes your open wounds, and he quickly lets go of you. "I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? I didn't-"

"It's fine. Just sore," you shake your head once you see the worried look in Jane's eyes. "I'm glad you're safe, Adam."

"Yeah, you too. You're the first parent I've seen since I got here." He says sadly. You try not to think too hard about what that means and swallow around the lump in your throat.

"Ma'am, do you still need help?" The woman you were talking to earlier walks over, the surgical glue still in her hand, and you nod.

"Yeah, I just need to borrow that." You say, pointing at the bottle in her hand.

"I don't feel comfortable letting someone untrained use medical supplies like this."

"Oh, she's not untrained. She's pre-med. Right? Weren't you studying for the MCATs?" Adam asks, and you press your lips into a line as you nod. The woman looks between you and the gauze on your arm with a cocked eyebrow.

"Why don't you let me look at it?"

"No, it's really okay. It's not that deep."

"I'm only gonna ask nicely once." She says with the same stern, concerned tone you use for Jane. You sigh and grab Jane's hand, but she stands her ground.

"Mommy, can I stay with Mr. Lowery? I really, really missed him." She asks with praying hands tucked under her chin. Your heart lurches in your throat, and your mouth goes dry as you search for an answer.

"I can watch her while you get checked out if you want. We'll stay right here. We won't go anywhere." Adam offers, and you fight the urge to snatch Jane from his arms and yell at him to shut up.

"Please?" Jane begs, making her vowels extra long to plead her case. You take a deep breath and make eye contact with Adam.

"You stay here. You don't take her anywhere or give her anything. You don't even think about moving from this spot, got it?"

"Got it," he says without hesitation, and your jaw clenches as he stares at you. "I won't let anything happen to her." There's enough conviction in his tone for you to nod and follow the woman into one of her sectioned-off canvas rooms.

She puts on gloves and watches you sit on the edge of the cot, your knee bouncing as you stare through the curtain's tiny opening. You don't say anything as she carefully pulls the bandage away from your skin, blood breaching the surface as soon as it's off. You grit your teeth as she wipes at the cut with an antiseptic wipe but don't make any noise. You don't want Jane to hear you being in pain, so you clench your jaw so hard your bones creak with force and wipe your tears on your shirt sleeve.

"That your little girl out there?" She asks, trying to distract you, and you nod. "She's beautiful."

"Thanks." You mutter as she applies a little more pressure to your skin. Stars explode across your vision, and you curse under your breath. You don't remember it hurting this bad when you actually got grazed. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug.

"Did you come here with her dad?"

"Nope. Haven't seen the guy in four years."

"Sounds like his loss."

"That's a understate, fuck," you stop as she presses a line of surgical glue across the graze. It burns as it settles into your skin, and the woman offers you whispered updates of how much longer until it dries and little encouragements. Once it's finally done drying, she puts a sterile bandage over the adhesive and offers you two painkillers. You look down at the two little pills and raise your eyebrows at her. "Acetaminophen?"

"There's that pharmacology," she smiles as you take the pills. "What branch of medicine did you wanna go into?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"It matters to me." She says, and you shake your head. You bite the inside of your cheek as you debate on telling her or not. Is it fair to bring that dream up when it will never happen?

"Surgery."

"Smart girl."

"Something like that." You shrug, the movement irritating the scrapes on your back, and you wince. The woman stands and looks at the back of your shirt to see it stained with blood.

"What happened?"

"One of those things tried to get me. My back got cut up on the asphalt," you explain. "It's fine."

"Doesn't look fine. Can I take a look?" She asks, and you chuckle.

"You're the second person I've had to take my shirt off in front of today." You say, taking a big breath and holding it as you pull your arms in and pull the fabric over your head. You turn your back to her so she can see the extent of the damage done to your skin. She doesn't gasp or have any reaction. She just starts dabbing at the blood gently, like you cleaned the blood from Jane's skinned knees.

"May," she says like she's speaking to a spooked dog. "My name is May. I figured someone should give you the courtesy of knowing their names when they ask you to strip." She says, and you nod. You tell her your name in return, the rigid posture of your spine relaxing a little at her care.

"Jane is my little girl."

"How old is she?" She asks, and you swallow thickly.

"Five."

"Must've been scary. Tryna keep her safe out there."

"You have no idea." You whisper, your voice cracking over the words as memories of screaming creatures and shaking earth fill your mind. She cleans the rest of your blood in silence before putting ointment over the scabs. She checks for any broken bones while you're still sitting and tsks when she presses against a tender spot in your side, making you groan.

"You've got at least one broken rib and probably one of the worst cases of road rash I've ever seen, and I was an ER doctor," she says as she hands you your shirt and sits across from you on her rolly chair. She gives you a sympathetic look, but you're not all there. Part of your brain is still pinned to the concrete under a screeching human, clawing at your skin. "But that little girl," she says, recapturing your attention. "That little girl is in perfect health. If I didn't know what happened this weekend, I would've had no idea she was ever in any danger."

"Is this the part where you scold me for putting myself in harm's way when I could've just come here earlier?" You ask, and she shakes her head.

"No, this is the part where I tell you what I've told all my parents who've come through here," she says, resting her knees on her elbows so she can look you in the eyes. "I don't care what you had to do to survive. I don't care what you did to protect them. I don't even care why you're sittin' on my table. I care about making sure you know how lucky your kid is to have you. For every kid that made it out, there's three more who died. You did good." She says sincerely, and you have to look away from her to wipe at your eyes.

"Doesn't feel like it, but thank you."

"I know it doesn't, but I promise you it's true," she says. "And I see how much you care about others. Otherwise, you wouldn't have wanted to be a surgeon. Now, I know you didn't get your MD, but I did, and I want to teach you what I know. Lord knows I need the help."

"No, I can't." You shake your head.

"Yes, you can."

"I'm not the person you want for this."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I'm... I'm not a good person."

"Who is?"

"I killed people," The confession stuns you both into silence. Hot, angry tears stream down your face, and you pull your shirt back over your head. "I killed people to protect her. It was them or her, and I chose her. I will always choose her. So, whatever perfect, good, strong person you think I am or could've been at one point isn't here anymore. I buried her the second FEDRA tried to drop a fucking bomb on my kid," you stand on wobbly legs and pull your hair out of the collar of your shirt. "Thanks for your help, May."

That night, you don't sleep despite the aching in your bones. You stay awake and listen to the expanding and contracting of Jane's lungs as she dreams. When she wakes up screaming, you're already there to calm her down and remind her that she's safe. Adam ends up sleeping three cots down and tries to help when she wakes up, but you stop him before he can sit on her cot with a wide-eyed, annoyed look. He backs off after that. You've gone most of Jane's life without help from anyone, and you're sure as hell not going to accept any now.

You were the one shoving knives through skulls and burying bullets in throats to keep her safe. You were the one who hid your pain from her for two days while you hid out in the barn. You were the one who taught her to give her fear to you because you are the only one who can handle it. What the fuck does Adam Lowery or May know about that? You will never again be the woman they once thought you to be. No, after this, you will be bloody and rageful and ruthless. There is nothing you wouldn't do to protect her or ensure her happiness. There is no corner of the earth you would leave unturned for the tiniest chance of her having a future.

And God help any motherfucker who stands in your way.

#when you’re lost in the darkness #look for the light prequel #the last of us #the last of us x reader #tlou fic #tlou angst

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