Frankly, the biggest reason nobody can figure out how to make a Duke Nukem reboot work is because they think the 90s edgelord bullshit is the main reason that Duke Nukem 3D was such a breakout hit, when the truth of the matter is that it succeeded at least partly in spite of that. Duke Nukem 3D legitimately pushed the envelope in terms of what it was possible for a first-person shooter to be – in many ways it's just as foundational to the genre in its modern form as Wolfenstein 3D or Doom. You can't recapture that with dick jokes, and if you're not willing to take risks in terms of basic game design, dick jokes are all you have.
Ultimately, what the franchise really needs to shake off its creative rust is to stop trying to iterate on its established formula and shift genres entirely. To this end, I have a proposal: make the next Duke Nukem game a side-scrolling metroidvania. In this essay
hate hate hate when conventionally attractive women go all "being pretty is soooo hard i have it so much worse than other girls i get sexually harassed and men don't take me seriously" as if us ugly women don't also get harassed and as if men are known to be more interested in the opinions of women they don't want to fuck
I think the Oaks plus Hermie should fucking kick scam to death for that prophecy being fake, i am so fucking close to doing a whole ass jurgen leitner rant about scam fucking likely rn fuck this shit omg. So Hero got fucking traumatized and trained and was put under so much fucking pressure for NOTHING?!?! She fucked up her relashonship with her brother and whole family for nothibg?! Sparrow put really high expectations onto his kids for shit. Like if not for the fucking prophecy Normal and Hero wouldnt be fucking traning at daddies and so code purple wouldnt fucking happen and maybe Henry would still fucking talk with his fucking sons. Jebać Scama, wtf skurwiel jebany omg hold me the fuck down or i will rip his skin of one milimeter at a time with my own nails fuck that guy, cocks in his ass shut the fuck up oh my fucking god his bitchass got me so fucking pissed. I hope he dies in agony, bitch got me swearing in polish i hope he diesssss!!!!
LPSFD is on a Sunday this year. The temptation I'm feeling to include a FIHAS prompt...someone has to hold me back because I Will do it, I Have To. Just imagine it. Double the swearing. /j But truly. I think I can think of something funny. I already have a few ideas.
A few of you have already seen this because tumblr was rude and posted it the day after I scheduled it instead of waiting the 10 days I told it to. But anyways! It's passed midnight here so I hope you all have a lovely Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day and enjoy the art, fics, animations, whatever else you wonderful people have thought to contribute this year. <3
Like, reblog, give compliments to everyone you see posting in the #LetPapyrusSayFuck tag, and have a great day. B)