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seospicybin · 5 months

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART II

Changbin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle masterlist

Synopsis: You and Changbin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (13,1k words)

Author's note: I planned on posting it yesterday but i got so busy but here it is, hope you enjoy! :)

There are three things Changbin trying to digest at once.

One is that you kissed someone else last night. Two, Lana is not pleased so she doubles the fine as of this moment and that leads to number three, a total of $24,000 has been deducted from the prize fund.

You're following him as he walks to the firepit to have a talk with you, giving you a chance to explain yourself. You take a seat next to him with your legs pulled up and a cushion on your lap.

Changbin can't decide where to start, he's still having a hard time processing everything.

"What happened?"

You're fiddling with the tassel on the cushion, "I was trying to set Rita up with Nico and that just happened," you answer him.

"Do you feel different about me?"

You snort in reaction, probably thinking that he is joking but with the absence of a smiles on his face, you realize that he is being serious.

"No," you immediately deny.

"I know you also like girls," Changbin supports his assumption with a fact.

You stifle a chuckle, "Yeah and I like Rita, but not that way."

Stretching your leg, you put your foot over his leg and tip your head to the side, "You know I only like you," you say with a smile on your face.

Changbin would usually melt at the sight of your smile but not this time. This is not how he wanted to hear you say how you feel about him.

"How do I know for sure when you kissed someone else?"

You subtly roll your eyes to the side then put away the cushion, "The kiss meant nothing. We were just playing," you explained with an exasperated sigh.

This may sound like he's exaggerating things but Changbin doesn't like how you blatantly broke the rules and did it behind him.

"Put yourself in my position," he tells you.

"How would you feel if I kissed someone else and not telling you about it?"

Now that he has put things into perspective, he hopes you understand why he acts this way. It's not only about the kiss, he feels like you have dismissed him as your partner.

"I get what you're saying," you add a nod at the end of the sentence.

Seeing that you're slowly putting a space in between and the glints in your eyes fade with each passing second, he feels like he's the bad man here.

"I'm sorry," you mutter with a sad smile on your face.

The kiss, he can let it slide but the betrayal, he gets a little upset when you could have said something about it last night and he wouldn't have been this upset over a playful kiss.

CHANGBIN: I appreciate that she told me everything and apologized but I feel like I have to play it safe now.

It's been days and you're still on Changbin's naughty step.

You didn't think he would be this mad over a silly kiss, oh well, he didn't think the kiss you did with Rita was silly at all. You don't want to let this go on for too long but also, you don't know how to confront him.

Frankly, if something like this happened, you would have moved on to the next one. Considering that you're locked in and can't go anywhere, you're left with no option but to resolve it like two mature grown-ups.

The problem is you're really bad at confrontation and the way Changbin cautiously acts around you doesn't help.

"Was he mad?" Liam asks as he sits next to you on the side of the pool.

Your foot is playing with the pool water, "Yeah."

"You like him, right?" He asks, tilting his head to the back to let the sun hit his oiled body.

"I do like him," you shortly answer like it isn't obvious enough.

"What you did... I don't think that helps to convince him that," Liam says.

You listen to him only to hear that he says the same thing with Changbin and maybe this is your punishment, constantly reminded that you're the one at fault here.

"Yeah, no shit," you sigh.

Liam chuckles, "You know that, right?"

You lean back with your hands propped behind you, "I know..." you groan.

It's like he hears you're talking about him, Changbin walks out of the bedroom and heads down to the beach.

"Oh, my God! There he is!" You mutter through your gritted teeth at Liam.

"I know," he whispers, clocking him for you.

Not sure if he sees you or not, but your heart is sinking at the sight of him.

Liam starts talking after Changbin is out of sight, "Talk with him, tell him how you feel," he suggests.

It's easier to be said than done and also...

"I'm scared," you honestly share with a nervous laugh.

Liam chuckles again and wipes his sweaty forehead.

"Don't you see how big he is?" You jokingly say.

"Just be honest, be yourself," Liam wisely says and brushes his dark curls to the back.

"Yeah."

Well, you don't want this to continue so it's time to admit that you fucked up and have a talk with him. You don't know how but you'll try.

YOU: I kind of realized that I can't do that to people and like, expect them to stick around.

You're a man on a mission tonight.

Before that, you have to arm yourself well. You borrowed a dress from Sabine and have Rita style your hair, you want to look good, ravishing even.

You're sleeping still with the man but you need a glass of wine to muster up the courage to talk to him.

Changbin is looking fine in a light blue shirt that fits him so well, showcasing his broad shoulders and muscular arms. You get the urge to rip it off of him but you have to hold that thought for now.

Coming up behind him, you link your arm around his and sweetly smile at him, "Can I talk to you?"

He looks over his shoulder at you and slightly nods, "Okay."

Since everyone is out of the house, you pull him to the bedroom to get some privacy, sitting at the end of your shared bed.

You don't talk right away, you give yourself a moment to compose yourself and to also, admire him as he sits close to you.

"I like this on you," you compliment with your hand tugging at the collar of his shirt.

He smiles hearing your words and places his hand on your knee.

"How about me? Do you like what I'm wearing?" You ask, tipping your head to the side and batting your eyelashes at him.

He pinches at the hem of your dress and feels how thin the fabric is, "I like it."

You put your hand on his and lace it together with him, now that you're both relaxed, you can finally talk about it.

"After what happened..." you intently observe his face for any changes of expression to see if it's still a sensitive issue to him.

But you decide to wait until he responds to it.

He turns his head at you, "Yeah?"

You lick your lips before continuing to talk, "Do you feel like you trust me less because of it?"

Changbin inhales air and even with his head facing you, his eyes are nowhere looking at you. He scratches the back of his head and props his hand against the mattress.

"I don't want to say anything. Truthfully, I still don't know what to do about it," he answers.

It seems like he's still processing it and not yet getting to the place where he can just let it go.

You softly shake his hand in yours, "Hey, I'm sorry."

You apologize even though you have said it enough to him but you feel like you need to do it again to prove to him that you want to fix things between you and him.

And if that's not enough, you can prove it in another way.

"You know I wouldn't do it again," you remark with utmost sincerity.

As soon as those words are out of your mouth, he stares at you and perhaps, trying to see how much you mean those words.

"I know," He says, then holds your hand back and gently squeezes at it. He doesn't add anything else to it but sure, it's better than nothing.

"Can I have a hug?" You ask, ignoring the fact of how pathetic you might have sounded.

A smile rises on his face and he opens his arms to welcome you which you waste no time to dive right in. You eagerly throw yourself at him, sending both of you collapsing onto the bed.

Oh, how you missed being in his warm embrace! You never feel this comfortable and safe with anyone but him.

"We barely cuddle lately," you grumble at him with a pout.

"No, I cuddled you," he denies.

"Not enough," you complained and put your arm around his neck.

Changbin turns his head to the side and looks at you, putting away the hair covering your face as you snuggle close to him. Catching him off guard, you sneak a kiss on his cheek.

With his lips only inches away from yours, the temptation to kiss him is getting to you. To tease him and also check if he's up for a kiss, you make smooching sounds at him with your lips puckering at him.

Changbin holds you by the jaw, but instead of kissing you on the lips, he kisses you on the cheek. At that moment, you realize that he's not fully getting over it yet.

YOU: It seems like it's going to take a lot more time and I have to be more patient... [groans]

If there's one thing you should know about Changbin is that he has trust issues and that's why he doesn't want to rush into this.

However, he has to admit that he's been distancing himself from you and not realizing that he tortured himself doing it.

He's still sharing the bed with you but it feels much better when you're cuddling him like this.

The others are also still stretching and gathering their senses on their beds after Lana comes for her morning greeting.

You shift on the bed and lay on your side facing him, "Morning, big man," you croak with your eyes half-shut.

Changbin often wondered how you look this good even when you've just woken up. He tenderly caresses your cheek and his thumb wanders by itself, swiping across your lips.

He may as well touch it, feeling it but keeping it in his mind that he can't do more than that.

All of sudden, you open your mouth and take his thumb into your mouth, tugging it between your teeth.

He knows a way to make you stop and that is by tickling you back. He bites at your neck until you let go of his thumb.

"What are you going to do today?" You ask, slinging your hand around his chest.

"Working out," he answers.

Dragging your hand down his chest, you slip your hand under his t-shirt and pinch at the flesh on his abdomen.

"If you keep working out, you'll get bigger," you mumble.

"And that's a problem to you?"

"If you get too big, I won't be able to hug you anymore," you pout.

He pulls you close and holds the side of your face, "Then I'll be the one hugging you," he simply resolves.

You get quiet but overlap his body with yours, "Play with me today."

This is the side that he rarely encounters in you that makes him feel needed, that he is not just some guy you kiss and have fun with.

In fact, Changbin secretly wishes that you're clingy to him, not the other way around.

He puts his arm around you, resting it on the arch of your back as he asks, "What are we going to play?"

You pursed your lips as you thought of an answer, "Uhm... we can get naked and stare at each other's body," you giggle at the end of your words.

You sure know how to keep him amused but that sounds like a dangerous game to play and it's only 8 in the morning. You seem to know that he would skip on it as you kiss him on the cheek before getting up from the bed.

The weather is nice today too and Changbin is having a productive day, as in he manages to finish his workout routine as planned.

It was a good day, well, until Lana assembled everyone in the cabana.

Changbin makes space on the seat next to him the moment he sees you coming and you plop down the sofa with your feet up.

"What's going on, guys?" Sabine asks everyone.

"You tell us," Liam teasingly says to her.

The cone lights up after everyone gathered around her and Changbin's eyebrow perks up at the sound of the way too familiar melodic chime.

"Here we go..." Shane mutters with a nervous sigh.

Even though he didn't do any rule breaks, Changbin still gets nervous whenever Lana starts talking because there's a big chance that she'll come with a piece of bad news.

"To further aid your personal growth, you must learn to resist your urges," Lana starts with a cryptic message.

Changbin doesn't like the sound of it and it instantly puts him on high alert. He notices that everyone else seems to be holding their breath as well.

"So, I am putting some of you to the test."

He is yet can't tell if that's good or bad, either way, hearing the word test, he knows that it's not going to be easy.

"I have arranged two dates..."

"Ooh... dates," Sabine coos in excitement and sparkling eyes.

"Both with new arrivals."

He hears you snicker next to him and he feels a little uneasy with it. When he looks around though, everyone is looking excited for it. New arrivals mean these people are not yet conditioned with retreat rules so yeah, Changbin can smell troubles.

"The first new arrival is... Jax," Lana announces.

The name attracts interest from everyone but the males specifically. While the girls... he sees that Sabine looks a little worried.

"I have allowed the new arrivals to select who they want to ask out on their dates," Lana further informs.

No, wait, Sabine is right to be worried.

Changbin catches you glancing at him before looking away and he wonders if you're worried too.

"Jax has chosen..."

Everyone may not be losing money today but that doesn't keep the tension from keep on building in the cabana.

"Oliver."

Sabine gasps at the mention of his name and nods, she has no power to stop him since Lana is the one running the retreat.

"You seem so happy, Ollie," Liam teases him.

Oliver remains coy about it, then a grin blooms on his face, "It is what it is... I guess," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

Changbin feels bad for Sabine because Oliver seems like the type who would jump ship when the opportunity presents itself.

However, Lana is not done talking yet.

"And date number two will be with... Gareth."

The announcement is being welcomed well by the girls and he turns his head to see you remaining calm about it.

"Well, well, well..." Sabine sighs, probably hoping that he'll pick her to get back at Oliver.

"He's also been allowed to choose his partner for this afternoon date."

You look at him and smile, "Are you nervous?"

Changbin subtly shrugs in answer but deep down, he's nervous that you'd get chosen.

"Gareth has chosen..."

CHANGBIN: We have been kind of, like, going up and down so I am worried... I'm worried that her head will turn a little bit.

Can't tell if your manifestation works or Lana reads your intention but you're surprised when you hear your name being called. So this new guy, Gareth, has chosen you to go on a date with him?

You scoff and look at Changbin to see his reaction, he's rather a bit aghast.

"I would be worried," you tell him.

Realizing that sounded like he would mistaken it for something else, you correct yourself.

"I mean, I would be worried if I were you."

This is what you need. This is a good opportunity for you to show him that you're into him and you're going to prove him that.

"You may leave now to get ready for your dates," Lana orders you and Oliver to leave the cabana.

You hope you get more than just his silence but Changbin remains calm about this whole thing. You kiss his cheek before getting up from the sofa.

You wait for Oliver to walk over to you so the two of you can leave together.

As Oliver gets to your side, you like your arm with his and say, "We got it, Ollie!"

"Yeah," Oliver half-heartedly says.

You turn to everyone to say bye and just before you turn to leave, Rita teasingly shouts, "Don't cost us more money, Miss Kissy!"

Getting dressed for the date inexplicably excites you and Oliver keeps on laughing hearing you squealing while you're doing your make-up.

"Are you excited?" He asks while he's fixing his hair in front of the mirror.

"Yeah," you answer without looking at him.

Oliver spins on his feet to look at you, "This is weird for me because I've never been with a girl long—"

Lana chimes in, interrupting Oliver's talk, and both of your heads turn in the direction of the cone sitting in the corner of the dressing room.

"What's up, Lana? Did Gareth cancel?" You jokingly ask.

"I hope you're both looking forward to your dates his afternoon," Lana says.

Oliver sits on the chair across from yours to hear what Lana has to say next.

"To further assess how you deal with temptation, I have not told the new arrivals that they are guests at Too Hot To Handle."

You gasp in surprise, "Lana, you naughty!"

"You must decide at what point you tell them," Lana finishes.

You and Oliver exchange a horrified look on your faces, realizing that this is not just a date, this is a test, for real.

"Oh, fuck..." Oliver quietly mutters.

That changes everything. That means that they will not hold back from breaking the rules because they don't know the rules even exist in the first place.

You lean back on your chair and sigh, "I think the best strategy is to tell them right away," you comment.

Oliver looks at you and smirks, "But then they won't try to kiss us," he innocently says.

There's no surprise that Oliver is not afraid to play with fire and as someone familiar with the game, you can relate to that.

"Yeah, that's not fun," you agree while nervously chuckling.

Oliver walks over to the mirror once again to check on his hair again. He brushes his dirty blond hair to the back and lets a few strands fall over his face.

"What I got myself into?" Oliver sighs.

When it's time to leave, Oliver gives you a quick hug before parting ways to go to your respective dates.

"Good luck out there," he says to you.

"Be good!" You reply with a way to him but at the same time, as a reminder to yourself.

YOU: I hope this Gareth guy is ugly... [clasps hands together] Please be ugly! [A moment later] I know he won't be ugly [sighs]

Lucky that you're wearing sandals because the walk to get to where date is quite far.

Despite feeling pressured to break the news to the new guest, you're also feeling good. The plan is to enjoy it and have fun, you want to flirt because you feel like making Changbin sweat a little.

There he is, Gareth, sitting on the picnic mat and basking in the pale afternoon sun.

Hearing you coming his way, he turns his head and cracks a smile when your eyes meet. He scrambles to get up and hug you.

"Hi, hello," he says to you with a strong British accent.

He then offers his hand to help you sit on the space next to him on the picnic mat.

It's only been a week in the retreat yet you're already forgetting how to be on a date. He looks at you and you look at him, checking each other out in silence.

Gareth is a whole lot of attractive. He's tall, probably six feet two, and with his shirt left open, you can see the sculpted abs. Other than that, he has beautiful eyes.

Lana is doing an impressive job because she's testing you with such an attractive man. Not sure about Gareth, he's been quiet from the moment you met and you start to wonder if he has second thoughts about choosing you.

After a moment, he hands you a glass and fills it with bubbly wine.

"You're more beautiful in person," he suddenly says.

You scoff and without you realizing it, it turns into a shy smile, "Really?"

He licks his lips after sipping his drink, "Yeah, you're beautiful."

"Thank you, Gareth," you thank him and sip your drink.

You take a moment to look at him, finding something on him you can compliment even though every part of his body is praiseworthy.

The sunlight hits him right on the eyes yet it only makes them beautiful, mesmerizing.

"You have beautiful eyes," you return the compliment with a smile.

"Thank you!"

"Is it uh... Brown?" You wildly guess.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" He dares you with a sly grin painted on his face.

Without hesitating, you lean in close to see him up close until you can see yourself in his eyes. Gareth stays still so you can study his eye color.

"It's uh..." You find it hard to focus when he's intensely staring back into your eyes, "Green?"

Gareth doesn't say anything but smiles, "Are you even looking at my eyes?"

You back away and burst into laughter in reaction, flustered for getting caught looking at anywhere other than his eyes.

"Should we have a toast?" He suggests with his glass already raised.

You do the same, raising your glass in the air, "To what?"

"To the nicest date ever," he answers with a seductive smile.

With Gareth, you feel like you're getting the attention you wanted to get from Changbin and you start to worry that your head is about to turn.

You clink your glass with him and repeat his words, "The nicest date ever."

YOU: Gareth is tall, he's nice, he's a handsome man. What's not to like about him?

It's a fact that you have never been on a date this nice before with the beautiful sea view and the sun slowly setting, dipping lower and lower into the horizon.

The date is going to end soon and you feel bad the longer you keep the news from him, it's time.

To prepare both of you, you refill your glasses with more wine and initiate one last toast.

"Hey, Gareth," you call him.

He swallows his drink before answering your call, "Yes?"

You bite into a strawberry and continue talking, "Do you consider yourself a player?"

Gareth laughs, probably at how straightforward your question is and he can't decide how he's going to answer it.

"Well, uh..." he parts open his shirt to get some air or to show off his body, either way, you're liking it.

"Not really," he doubtfully answers with a suppressed grin.

You sip your drink before asking him the next question, "Are you a sexual person?"

Gareth thinks you're being flirty asking him this question and you feel bad playing with him just to break him down at the end.

He nods and confidently says, "Yeah, I think I am."

You bite your lips, having fun with the knowledge you have that he's not yet known. You tip your head to the side, sending all of your hair falling onto one side of your shoulder.

"Do you think you could go a week without sex?"

His eyebrow raises in surprise, "A week?"

"Yeah."

"It's possible but I'd struggle, hard," he answers with a smile that slightly turns into a nervous one.

You look at him and look into his green eyes, for a second, not wanting to tell him about Lana and her rules.

"Uhm... well, I hate to tell you this," you begin and take another sip of wine.

His eyes are wavering as he looks at you, "What?"

"But we can't have sex in there," you make a head gesture towards the villa.

"Sorry? What?" He asks with eyes widening in utter shock.

And Gareth hasn't heard the worst part yet, "We can't even masturbate," you add.

He closes his eyes for a moment to take everything in and shakes his head, "What?"

"This is Too Hot To Handle," you finally break the news to him with an apologetic smile.

It feels not right to enjoy seeing him suffer but you can't help it, you must have looked like it when Lana popped out of the box that day.

His hand flies to his face, his fingers are pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to make sense of it all.

"They didn't—" he keeps opening his mouth to speak and abruptly stops in the middle.

"I know," you say, letting him know that you went through the same thing and know exactly how he feels right now.

Gareth drains his wine and puts away his glass, his hair is tousled from the wind constantly blowing at it.

"I was away traveling for months so I–I don't know..." he stammers as he explains himself.

You do feel bad for him but at least, he's not the only one going through it, you've been at it for a week now.

He then looks at you with his index finger pointed at you then at him, "So... we can't...?" His eyes are saying the words that you know what it stands for.

You shake your head, "No," you meekly say.

"Don't get me wrong, it's because I'm seeing someone in there," you add, not letting him get the wrong idea.

Gareth brushes his dark blond hair to the back, making it messier than before, groaning at the newly acquired information.

"I appreciate it that you're telling me that," he says as he refills his glass with more wine.

YOU: The date is nice, Gareth is nice but honestly, I was thinking of Changbin the whole time I was there.

Back in the villa, Changbin is scared, shitless.

He keeps looking at where you're having the date with this new guy but he can't see much with how far you are plus the sky that is getting darker.

He's been holding his drink but not drinking it, he's too nervous to try to relax.

"They're not back yet?" Nico asks as he sits on the lounger.

Changbin shakes his head and keeps his eyes on the top of the stairs, the only access back from the beach.

"Do you think she kissed him?" He innocently asks.

"That would be wild if she did," Nico gives his opinion then quietly sips his drink.

Rita comes to sit behind Nico, putting her arms around him, and notices the apparent horror on Changbin's face.

"I didn't expect you'd be genuinely this worried," She says to him.

He doesn't know why but he feels offended by what she said, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Nico hurriedly holds Rita to stop her from talking, he knows Changbin is being extra sensitive at this moment so it's best to not poke around him.

Almost half an hour later, you are finally back with the new guy, and your arm is linked with him. He also notices the smile on your face as you introduce him to the girls.

Changbin is not pleased with what he sees but he knows he should keep his composure, he shouldn't conclude without hearing from you first.

"Gareth," the new guy introduces himself to him.

Changbin has this belief that it's not about looks but looking at Gareth, it's impossible to not feel the slightest bit intimidated.

The boys take him for a chat at the cabana and questions asked at the new guy, the basic questions until Shane brings up the date.

"So how was the date?"

Knowing that he's not good at faking his facial expression, Changbin gulps as much air as he can and hopes it's enough to calm him.

Gareth brightly smiles before answering, "I think we had a good time," he answers.

Liam glances at Changbin to check on him, "Yeah?"

"She was great and the setting was beautiful, probably the most romantic date I ever had," Gareth adds and he should consider himself lucky for not knowing that he's talking right next to the man you're seeing.

CHANGBIN: He can have those drinks, that romantic date but don't even think that he can take her from me [shakes head]

Changbin is chatting with Shane when all of a sudden, he stops listening to him. He looks past his shoulder to someone behind him.

"Looking for me, babe?" Shane jokingly asks you.

You laugh at him and put your hand on Changbin's shoulder, "Can you give us a minute, babe?" You joke back at him.

"Sure thing, babe," Shane kindly left so the two of you could talk.

Changbin sees that you're already changed into a new dress and your lips are painted with a fresh coat of lipstick. As you sit next to him on the sofa, you slightly turn your body to face him then place a hand on his knee.

"Hi," you say with a sweet smile.

He looks back at you and he knows that you're here to have a good time, to enjoy yourself and there's a possibility that you might jump ships too but Changbin needs an answer from you about whether he should continue this or not, or do you have anything to tell him.

Changbin needs to know right now.

"So... how was the date?" He begins with an easy question.

"It was good."

You're looking chipper and radiant, it's something that he hasn't seen in these past few days.

"What did you guys do?"

"We chatted, had a few glasses of champagne... we got to know each other," you nonchalantly answer.

None of your answers are pleasing him but he's willing to continue with the interrogation.

"What do you think of him?"

You inhale air before talking, "He is so nice."

That's another answer that displeases him.

"And he was a little flirty to me," you tell him with a low chuckle.

Changbin immediately scoffs at that, "Of course, he was," he says, looking away to see the fire swaying along to the gust of wind.

"To be honest, I got a little flirty on him too," you admit.

He looks down at his lap and sees that your fingers are playing with the lint on the ripped part of his jeans. He doesn't want to hear what are you going to say next, he even regrets asking you about it in the first place.

"Then I told him about you," you suddenly add.

He looks up and sees you smiling at him, "yeah?"

"Yeah," you shortly replied.

You tip your head to the side and gaze into his eyes, "I told him that I'm seeing someone here," you confess.

Scratch his earlier remarks about regrets, Changbin's only regret now is for doubting you. He can't believe it still but now he knows he can continue with you.

Truthfully, Changbin doesn't even know how he would start things over with someone new.

"Were you worried I was going to do something?" You meekly ask.

Changbin hates to be seen as this pathetic guy but he can't lie about this, not when it tells you how much he likes you.

"Every second of it... it was just awful," he emphasizes it with a horrified look on his face.

Changbin has come to realize how much he likes you and he feels that it's safe for him to let you know that. Also, how would you know if he didn't tell you verbally?

"This process brought out a lot of emotions in me that I didn't even know I had," he endearingly shares as he puts his hand on yours.

You nod and say, "Yeah, me too."

Changbin slips his fingers between yours and holds your hand, "Come here," he says.

You scoot closer and then crawl toward him to sit in the space between his legs. You waste no time to rest your head on his chest and let out a delightful sigh as he puts his arms around you.

"Missed me?"

"A lot," he answers without a beat.

He tightens his arms around you along with a soft kiss on your neck, he then drags his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "I'm happy."

CHANGBIN: I feel more confident in us and I can't wait to keep building connections with her [smiles]

The new girl, Jax, is one gorgeous girl and there's no denying it, the other boys were practically drooling when they first saw her.

Changbin would understand if you feel a bit intimidated by her presence, just like how Gareth did to him. But you're not one to worry, the one who should be worried is Sabine because Changbin catches Jax and Oliver stealing glances at each other just now.

"Did you shower?" You ask as you nuzzle your head into his neck.

"Mmh," Changbin hums his answer.

You plant your nose in his neck and inhale his scent, humming as you snuggle close to him. He does the same, planting his nose in your shoulder only to playfully bite at it.

Instead of scolding him, you're giggling in his neck.

"I like it," you suddenly say.

"What?"

You drag your hand down his chest and lift the fabric to peek inside the sleeveless white top he's wearing.

"I like it more if you take it off," you whisper to him.

After what happened, Changbin realizes how much he likes you and when he likes someone, he will do anything for that person.

"Just say you want me to take it off," he says with a laugh.

"Well, it's up to you..." you coyly say with a flirty smile on your face.

Changbin sits on the bed and pulls his top over his head, putting the piece of clothing on the bedside table afterward.

"Mmh... yeah," you slyly smile as he lays down next to you.

The lights are out and the low chatter in the room dies down not long after but in the dark, that's when things happen.

You keep clinging to his body with your hands freely roaming around his body, feeling his muscles and squeezing at it. Your lips are pressing on the sensitive skin on his neck once in a while.

Then all of sudden, you get up to straddle him, and against the darkness of the room, he sees you taking your top off.

"What are you doing?" He keeps his voice low to not wake everyone else who's sleeping in the room.

Your half-naked body is hovering above him with mere inches between your faces, "What? I'm making it fair for us," you say with a kiss on his jaw.

It doesn't take a genius to know what you're doing. You're kissing his neck and chest with your nipples lightly grazing his bare chest, making the goosebumps on his arm rise.

Changbin allows you for that but when your lips are getting close to his lips, he immediately stops you by looking away.

Yet you continue your trail of kisses down his jaw, then you whisper into his air, "How about a kiss?"

This is a test for him and it's a difficult one. A part of him is dying to give you whatever it is you want but the other part, and unfortunately, the most stubborn part of him demands him to keep to his principle.

A kiss costs $6,000 and Changbin could bear the consequence of losing that much money but the problem is it's not just his money, it's everyone's.

He endearingly brushes your hair to the back and holds your face, "We can't."

It seems like you have expected that answer, "I know," you softly sigh.

You roll to the side to lay back on your side of the bed, clutching at the duvet as you groan, "I'm so horny..."

You best believe that it's not easy for him to say no to you, not when his head is full of filthy things he wants to do to you.

As a way to console you, he presses a long kiss on your cheek and neck. You suddenly pull him by the shoulder, hard enough to send him toppled on top of you.

"Put your whole body on me," you mutter.

"I'm heavy," he tells you like it isn't obvious enough.

You wrap your legs around him, forcing him to put his whole weight on you. Changbin quickly props an elbow against the mattress to spare a little space.

With both of your bodies pressed against each other, he can feel you differently, in an inexplicably intimate way.

Against the darkness that lingers in the room, he still can see your eyes gleaming as you stare at him as he stares into your eyes.

He swipes your lips with his thumb and for a split second, tempted to kiss it.

"You can kiss it you know," your voice is so low that it almost sounds like a whisper.

Once again, his stubborn part wins and he kisses you on the forehead instead.

"Goodnight," he sweetly speaks into your ear.

Without warning, you pull him closer until he collapses on top of you and keeps him close with your arms locked around him.

"Are you okay?" He quickly checks on you.

You bury your head in the crook of his neck and mumble, "You can crush me to death for all I care."

That makes him laugh in amusement, Changbin plants another kiss on the top of your head and gently pats at it.

CHANGBIN: The sexual tension is... unbearable [groans] but I want to do this right.

It's only afternoon but Sabine is already looking done with the day.

You respect people and their boundaries so you would usually wait for people to come to you first and they would when they're ready to talk.

However, the silence that hangs in the air once she steps into the dressing room is suffocating. You decide to, at least, check on her, making sure she's okay.

"Sabine, babe," you call as you rummage through your make-up pouch.

"You're way too pretty to have frown lines," you tell her with a smile.

Sabine aggressively reclines on her chair then lets out a long sigh, sending her long hair dangling down the back and almost touching the floor.

"You okay?" You ask her as you continue doing your make-up.

"I don't know," she sighs again.

She picks up a hairbrush next but does nothing with it, she's holding it in her hand as she continues talking, "It's Oliver."

It must be about the date and you knew Oliver screwed up, you could tell from the moment he got chosen for the date. Also, it's not hard to read a guy like Oliver, he's a player and a few days in the retreat won't instantly change that. Not that it's impossible, but it takes time to get the game out of a player.

"What happened?" You ask even though you guessed the gist of it in your head.

Sabine looks straight ahead and starts talking, "He went on a date yesterday made me realize that my feelings for him are genuine," she explains.

You nod to show her that you're intently listening to her even though you're busy doing your eyebrows, "Yeah."

She then draws a long breath to continue talking and combing her hair with her fingers, "But I know his type, I know how good they are at lying so yeah, I don't fully trust him so I asked Jax about the date."

You didn't know why you thought she was that naive. Sabine knows the kind of guy she's with.

"And what she said?"

Sabine puts her feet up on her chair and hugs them close to her chest, "She said that he went in for a kiss."

It's predictable but it's surprising to hear your assumption is right.

You pause doing your make-up and gasp, "What?"

Sabine is drawing circles on her knee with her finger as she continues talking, "Oliver didn't kiss her but he said it's because he didn't want to lose money..."

She takes a shaky breath and puts all of her hair on one shoulder, "And not because of me, he didn't even mention me at all."

You put down everything you're holding and put all of your attention on her, "Oh, no... babe," you coo.

"I like him for real because..." she pauses to gulp air and holding in her tears

"Now I'm genuinely hurt," her voice breaks at the end of the sentence.

You get up from your chair to come and hug her, putting your arms around her to comfort her before getting back to your chair.

"I think you should confront him about it. Obviously, you don't want to waste time on him if he doesn't want the same thing," you suggest, hoping that it would help her know what to do next.

Sabine sniffles and puts her feet down, she pulls her chair close to the table, leaning close to the mirror to fix her make-up.

"I'll take to him once they're back from the workshop," she says, now picking up her brush to add blush to her cheeks.

You always take Sabine as this cool girl who likes to make boys cry but at this moment, she looks fragile and insecure, she's just like any other girl and so are you.

YOU: I just knew that Oliver would mess up but I didn't think he would really do that to Sabine.

Lana is aware that these past few days have been tense for everyone and with the arrival of two new guests, she throws a party in the villa tonight.

Dressing up feels useless now that Changbin has no intention of doing anything to you and that somehow affects your mood, you don't feel like partying tonight.

You choose to sit this one down with him and quietly sip your wine while watching everyone else dancing to the music blasting around the villa.

Eventually, Nico and Rita join you in the firepit and you couldn't be more grateful that your matchmaking is a huge success.

"Nico, I'm impressed you're not all over the new girl," you jokingly say.

Rita looks at him, trying to intimidate him while giggling close to his face, "You can be honest," she tells him.

Nico shakes his head in false terror, "Nah, I don't want to get in trouble," he says.

Rita smiles in approval as Nico puts his arm around her, pulling her closer to his side even though there's no space left between them.

"Changbin, you couldn't possibly still be mad about our kiss, right?" Rita jokingly asks.

You turn to look at Changbin, wanting to see how he reacts to that question. He's been giving you vague signs whether he is still holding a grudge about it or not.

"Mad? Who got mad?" Changbin jokes back with a grin.

Rita flashes you a questioning glance then she turns to look at him, "Then how about you guys kiss and then we'll kiss?"

"I'm in!" Nico excitedly welcomed that idea.

You turn your head at Changbin and put the ball in his court, leaning close to his face, puckering your lips to tease him.

"Are you scared?" Rita teases him.

"I'm not," Changbin replies with a half smirk.

You take his chin and turn his head to look at you, "Kiss me then," you dare him.

Since he's not doing anything, you keep leaning in closer and closer and Changbin is backing away to avoid you. You stop before you embarrass yourself

"See? He pulls away first," you tell Rita with a shrug.

YOU: I am already sexually frustrated here and now it seems like I'm going to be touch-deprived as well [sighs]

Lana is the worst party host.

She abruptly stops the party and calls everyone to the cabana, it's not a good sign when she has to get in the middle of the party.

Changbin prepares himself for whatever is about to come out of that cone's mouth and his heart drops when he hears that anxiety-inducing chime.

"Did anyone break the rules?" Liam asks around.

Sabine crosses her arms and leans back, "I don't know about anyone else but I'm celibate."

Sabine is looking so upset about something when she says it and Changbin notices that Oliver has been eerily quiet the whole night.

"I stressed the importance of being committed to my process and a few people are falling short on that goal," Lana begins

Changbin can tell right away that something bad is going to happen tonight and he's not ready. He fears that it's going to happen to him or worse, you.

"It's clear that I need to streamline the group and two of you must leave the retreat tonight," Lana announces.

Everyone is gasping in shock, the tension is rising and no one is safe at this point. It's like Changbin's fears manifested into reality and he's dreading it, he doesn't want to leave.

He sees that you're looking calm but he notices your hands are clasped together on your lap, you must be stressed inside, considering that you broke the rules multiple times.

"The first person to leave the retreat is..."

CHANGBIN: I don't like this at all.

No one wants to hear what Lana is going to say but there's no avoiding it, this is her retreat, her rules, she's the one in control here.

"Niamh."

Niamh seems to have sensed that it's her, she smiles the second she hears her name and tears start rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh!" A broken gasp escapes Rita's mouth as she turns to the side to hug her.

Changbin didn't get to know Niamh well but she's been a complete shut-in and doesn't seem like she wants to build a connection at all. He believes the reason why Lana chose her is because she has the lowest possibility of forming a meaningful relationship.

"It's okay," she says while wiping her tears-soaked cheeks but she can't hide her disappointment from everyone.

"The second person to leave the retreat is..."

There's a huge chance that it'll be from one of the boys so

Changbin holds his breath again, getting more nervous than before.

"Shane."

He happens to sit next to you and you instantly rest your head on his shoulder while Changbin pats him on his knee, feeling like he's losing a friend even though he's only known him for days.

"It is now time for both of you to leave the retreat," Lana orders.

You kiss Shane on the cheek before letting him get up from the sofa to say goodbye to everyone and so is Niamh. She joined him in front of everyone to say goodbye for one last time.

"I hope this reminds the rest of you to take this process more seriously."

And just like that, Lana leaves with dark clouds hanging over everyone's heads.

CHANGBIN: That is one tough pill to swallow.

That should be a wake-up call for anyone to try and do better in this retreat.

Changbin considers himself lucky for not getting sent home tonight and he's still staying, being given another chance to continue building connections with you.

However, Lana demands emotional connections, not physical ones.

There's no denying that he has a strong physical connection with you and that should be the least of his worries. As of this moment, Changbin wants to focus on growing his emotional connection with you.

"Gosh, it feels empty already..." Liam says from the bed across the room.

Everyone's eyes shift in the direction of where Shane and Niamh shared a bed which is now empty.

You turn on the bed to face him and place a hand on his chest, before placing it on his jaw with your thumb tenderly rubbing his cheek.

"Are you okay?" You softly ask.

This is one of the times when he needed you the most. He doesn't reply but rests his head on your chest, letting you softly scratch his head with your finger.

And in a time like this, Changbin is convinced that he has emotional connections with you. There's no other reason why he feels like he can seek comfort from you if not because he's comfortable enough to be vulnerable around you.

CHANGBIN: I don't want to play around anymore. I want to grow with her.

With the girls out for a workshop, Changbin takes the time to get a little sun by the swimming pool with Oliver occupying the lounger next to him.

Changbin seems to have missed something yesterday but he notices that something is going on between Oliver and Sabine.

Oliver spills everything right away and Changbin only realizes it now that Oliver is younger than him which explains his reckless action.

"So you went back from the date with Jax and you said something stupid implying that you're not serious with Sabine?" Changbin concludes out of Oliver's explanation.

Oliver sneers at that, probably realizing how much at fault he is, "Pretty much, yeah."

Changbin lets out a chuckle and takes a sip of water from his tumbler. He knows Oliver is old enough to know that this is his own doing but Changbin feels like he's seeking some bits of advice from him.

"You know you have this connection with Sabine and you're here to develop that connection," Changbin chooses his words carefully to avoid sounding like he's being so self-righteous.

"You just need to control your urges a little," he adds.

Oliver sighs at the last bit, aware that that's his main problem, not being able to control his physical urges.

"But Jax is so... hot like... how come I didn’t think of her sexually when she's that fit?" Oliver innocently says.

Changbin immediately slaps his thigh hard enough that it leaves a mark on his alabaster skin.

"Hey, emotionally! Not physical!" He reminds him.

Oliver laughs, feeling like he's a little kid being scolded by his parents. He recognizes this typical attribute because Changbin has been there once, playing the cool guy who acts like it doesn't bother him but deep down, he does care.

"I know you want to act cool like you don't care about her but you have the chance to make it better, it's not too late," he tells him.

Oliver gets quiet and looks straight ahead, letting a moment pass without a word. Then a minute later, he nods and says, "I'm going to talk to her later."

As a motivation, Changbin gives him a pat on the shoulder, "You can do it, man!"

On the other hand, Lana has been quiet the whole day but that only makes Changbin more suspicious.

When she finally calls everyone to the cabana, he knows he is right to be suspicious, especially at the sight of small boxes on the table.

"Is it Christmas?" Rita playfully comments.

"Have we been here that long?" Nico adds with a chuckle.

Changbin is skeptical that it's going to be a gift, maybe it is but there has to be a catch to it. He knows Lana well enough to know the motive of everything she does.

"Hello, everyone!" The cone chimes.

"Yes, Lana!" Riley shouts, being the loudest to answer to her.

"As you can see, I have a treat for you all," Lana announces, confirming everyone's guesses are true.

Everyone is cheering but Changbin is the only one struggling to accept the fact that Lana is being generous to the group.

"Ooh..." Liam coos in excitement, rubbing his hands together while looking at the box in front of him.

"The purpose of this gift will further enhance your relationships going forward. You may now open your gifts," Lana orders.

No one wastes their time to take their boxes and open them, finding a watch inside. You help him put it around his wrist and he helps you with yours after.

"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light, like this..."

Lana demonstrates it by turning everyone's watches green at the same time.

"...where the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."

"This looks good on you," you compliment him.

Changbin flexes his bicep to show it off, "I'll keep close to it with a tense bicep," he jokes.

His first thought is, of course, he wants to get a green light with you and that can be accomplished with emotional growth.

"We have reached the half of the retreat so please use your time wisely," Lana leaves with a gentle reminder that some of us should have accomplished something at this point.

With these watches, Changbin is highly motivated to build an emotional connection with you.

CHANGBIN: We don't need to lose money now because Lana will reward us if we do something right.

Uhm... you wouldn't say you're jealous to see Liam and Riley getting a date from Lana, but you know you just hate to admit it.

It would be nice to go on a date with Changbin because things feel way too alright and you crave a little spark here and there.

For someone who loves getting physical affection, it's exciting that you have the watch and the promise that Lana will reward anyone who shows genuine emotional connection with a green light.

You're not that optimistic that you'd get it but who knows?

The night is warm and you're holding a glass of wine, sitting next to an extremely attractive man.

Changbin is wearing a printed shirt with dark jeans, what you like the most is how his muscles bulge out of those short sleeves.

"You look good, babe," you compliment him with a smile.

"I'm not saying that to try to get a green light," you quickly add.

You know better that a compliment wouldn't get you a green light but because he simply earned it.

You put your legs over his lap and look at him, tilting your head to look him through your lashes.

"You're so sexy and cute and big and gentle..." you compliment him more.

Then you lean into his ear and whisper, "You're irresistible."

Getting no reaction from you, you pout and meekly ask, "Am I not appealing to you anymore?"

"No, baby. No," he strongly denies.

You feel pathetic saying that but at least, you finally get his attention now.

He reaches for your head, endearingly caressing your head, "you are beautiful," he sweetly compliments.

He then takes a good look at you with his hand gliding down your arm until he meets your hand, "Head to toe, I admire all of it," he compliments again.

You deeply look into his eyes and ask, "And you don't feel some type of way?"

Changbin inhales air, his fingers are intertwined with yours on your lap. He seems to know the reason why you asked him that.

"I know you want to break a rule," he says.

"I do," you shortly confirm, beating around the bush will only waste time.

Changbin once again gets quiet, you can't tell if he's mulling things over in his head or if he has no words to say to that.

"I don't think we should be punished for having a connection," you give your opinion.

"But that's what we're here for," he simply responds.

You swallow air to stay calm and keep your tone in check, "I know but I think we shouldn't be adamant about spending the money," you give him a solid de

Changbin nods and a moment later, he comes up with a response to your words.

"I think there's no reason for us to break rules now."

He places his hand on your knee and tenderly rubs the skin with his thumb, "We have these watches and we just need to do this right and Lana will reward us with a green light."

You get it that he's trying to be on Lana's good side but the way he completely shot you down... It almost feels like he forces this decision on both of you and you don't get a say on it.

"Yeah, right," you half-heartedly reply and then drain your glass of wine cause the night suddenly feels cold to you.

YOU: Ugh! I'm so frustrated. I don't know how much longer I can take this.

Everyone is cheering when Liam and Riley return from their date.

They look happy as they become the first to get the first green light. They're not the only ones looking happy, it looks like Sabine and Oliver have made up as they're being lovey-dovey on their bed.

Truthfully, you're happy for both of them but it's hard when you're struggling with your relationship. You feel like, as a couple, you're at a standstill.

Liam and Riley got a green light, you see Sabine and Oliver, they're not perfect but it's endearing to see them overcoming things together.

Then you look at what you have and Changbin, it's alright, it's okay but that's not enough for you. This thought leads you spiraling down, you wonder about everything that is wrong with you and what could've been the source of the problem.

Without intending to, you begin to feel insecure about yourself, questioning everything, including your feelings until it overwhelms you.

When you wake up in the morning, you feel like doing nothing. As if you have the choice, you drag yourself out of bed and get ready for the day. It seems pointless now doing all of this.

"How are you doing, my darling?" Sabine asks.

"Feel like shit," you honestly reply.

Sabine takes her turn to be the one who comes to your aid after you did the same role to him days ago. She reaches across the table to place her hand on your forearm.

"Is it about Changbin? Are you guys alright?" She lowers her voice since the other girls are also in the room.

"I don't like that he's like... 'we're not going to do anything physical'," you tell her while dampening your cotton pad with toner.

"Like... give me something. Fuck!" You lowly curse, putting your suppressed anger into that profanity.

You toss the dirty cotton pads away and let out a long sigh even though it no longer helps you to calm down, "It's like he's cockblocking himself."

"Oh, my God!" Sabine gasps with a horrified look on her face.

Even Sabine can't find any words to say to help you with your crisis because it's that bad and of course, Lana knows about your bad day so she comes to make it worse.

At this point, you give up on trying to guess Lana's intentions and just go with it.

"Hello, everyone," Lana opens her session as usual.

"Hello, Lana!" Sabine cheerily responds next to you.

It's not hard to spot where Changbin when he's the biggest of all of the boys and he's sitting on the far end of the sofa.

"I am pleased to see that several of you have developed romantic connections during your time here," Lana says.

Not sure which couple she deems as romantic but you're sure as hell it's not you.

"But for these relationships to succeed in the long-term, it is vital that you trust each other to resist temptation."

Jax dramatically gasps from the other side of you, "Uh-oh!"

That sure sounds like Lana is brewing something and you're aware you wanted to stop guessing but... old habits die hard.

"Today, I will be putting that to the test."

Oh? Another test? You have done it once and barely passed it, you're not keen on going through that again.

"With the help of two new arrivals."

New guests, huh? So yeah, you don't want to be involved in any drama, not when you're going through something right now.

"The first new arrival is... Javi."

You already have too much in your head to add something else to worry about.

"The second new arrival is... Gia."

And you don't want to do anything, you want to curl up into a ball and be left alone.

"Two of you will be going on private dates with the new arrivals."

Is there a way where you can escape Lana just for a day? A few hours will do.

"They have selected the guests they are most attracted to from a choice of those in relationships."

Everyone else is busy freaking out at Lana's announcement while you keep dissociating yourself from what's happening.

"Javi has chosen to go on a date with..."

You reel yourself back into reality and notice that everyone is looking so tense.

"...Sabine."

It seems like the table has turned. First, it was Oliver and now, Sabine is being picked for the date. You can see the slight panic on Oliver's face.

But then what if...?

"And Gia has chosen to go on a date with..."

You look over at Changbin and feel a little nervous that he'd get picked, well, even if he did get picked and his head turned, then it would only reassure you about the true state of your relationship.

"...Liam."

Yet here you are, letting out a sigh of relief knowing that he didn't get chosen for the date.

YOU: I'm– [sighs] I'm starting to second-guess what I have with Changbin.

Everyone else is buzzing with the new arrivals and all the drama surrounding it, except Changbin.

Everyone has been behaving lately and no one is breaking the rules, everything is going so well so Changbin wonders why you're sitting by yourself looking rather upset about something.

He comes up to you, putting on a smile when you glance up from your glass of wine.

"Hey," he says as he takes a seat next to you.

You hold your drink in the other hand and meekly reply, "Hi."

It's like the girl he met is slowly disappearing from you, you look down and low-spirited, and the sparks in your eyes are somehow dimming.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

You scratch the back of your neck and weakly smile, "Right now, I'm a little bit lost," you answer.

Lost? Lost as in you don't know where to go or what to do anymore? But the more important question to ask is... is it about you and him?

You uncross your legs and put away your drink, looking serious as you start talking to him, "I do value physical affection and I feel like I wasn't getting what I needed from you," you tell him.

Changbin tilts his head to the side, feeling accused of something he didn't do. He's been treating you well and trying to do better every day so yeah, he won't easily accept you just said to him.

"I told you that there's no reason why we should break rules now," he reminds you of the things he has said to you once.

It seems like you have so many things to say to him but not wanting to let it out, but he's noticing how your jaws are clenched and unclenched.

"We're supposed to work on our connection and I've been opening up so much to you but you're not," you reply to him.

He's not going to lie, you hit him hard with that one. He admits you've been so open to him and what he gave back to you? Not so much.

"Being more open... that's not easy for me," he honestly admits.

"I know," you answer.

"And I've seen you trying but it's been a while now and it feels like we're not going anywhere," you look away and let out a low sigh.

It makes his head hurt how you misunderstood everything and doubted him when all he does is try to do what's right.

"I like you," he says to you, running out of things to say to convince you.

"But you don't show me that and I started to think that maybe it's not because of the money..." Your voice is quivering and you pause to inhale air.

Changbin lets you finish talking because he knows you still have a lot to utter to him.

You brush your hair to the back and sigh, "You make me feel so insecure and I don't like that," you conclude.

Not only that half of what you said is not true, Changbin is a little annoyed at how haste you conclude things. He also doesn't like how you doubt him, questioning everything when he thinks that he has shown you everything he has.

Changbin has a lot to say to that but he doesn't want to do the same thing, being haste about it and saying things he didn't mean.

CHANGBIN: I don't want to give up on her but I need some time to think things through.

It's the first time in the retreat you wake up feeling not excited, you wake up letting out a long sigh instead.

Lana chimes in for her morning greeting so you drag yourself out of the duvet and sit up on the bed with your back resting against the headboard.

"Good morning, everyone!"

A few are sleepily answering to her while the others are still struggling to open their eyes.

"Javi and Gia, I trust that you sleep well," Lana says, talking to the new guests.

Gia turns to look at everyone in the room, "are there usually noises in the middle of the night?"

"What noises?" Liam asks.

"Like smooching sounds..." Gia proceeds to describe the noises she heard last night.

To be completely honest, you're hearing your own thoughts all night to hear anything else.

"From where?"

Gia shakes her head, "No idea."

Well, wherever that smooching sound coming from, it's definitely not from your bed. You wake up next to Changbin but this morning, it feels like you're merely there for the sole reason that is sharing the bed and nothing more.

"How is it going with our big guy?" Sabine asks as the two of you are doing your make-up in the dressing room.

"I talked to him last night," you answer.

Sabine twists her hair before putting it on one shoulder, "And how did it go?"

You squeeze a dollop of moisturizer on the back of your hand and slowly dab it on your face, "a lot of stuff been said, a lot of stuff going down..."

Sabine turns on her feet to face you, "What's going on?"

Your shoulders slumped as you let out a sigh, "I honestly don't want to talk about it," you tell her.

As much as you want to tell her everything, talking about last night only makes you feel sad and you don't want to let it bring you down further.

YOU: The ball is on Changbin's court now so let's see what he's going to do with it.

Just because there's drama going on with you, that doesn't mean you're not aware that the new guy, Javi, has been secretly checking you out since last night.

Just now, you notice him clocking you out while you're chilling in the swimming pool with Jax.

After a while, he realizes that you know so he swims in your direction and stops right in front of you.

Beads of water are dripping down his tattooed body, he brushes his wet hair to the back and smiles at you.

"Hey, how are you girls doing?" He greets both of you, but his eyes are only looking at you.

"Good. You?" Jax answers.

You decide not to say anything but lock in a gaze with him, those light brown eyes are piercing right through you.

Javi looks away to glance at Jax and a moment later, puts his eyes on you again, more intense than before.

"Red looks good on you," he compliments.

The way he's looking at you, it's like he's doing something unspokenly filthy with those eyes.

"I know," you coyly say with a half smirk.

Javi flicks his eyes to your lips for a second then intensely stares into your eyes before brushing his hair to the back again.

"See you girls later," he says, then continues swimming to the other end of the pool.

Jax nudges your side with her eyes watching Javi swimming away, "Look at those shoulders," she whispers.

"I know," you mutter back, getting that fluttering feeling as you recall the way he looked at you.

The reason Lana has been quiet lately is because she's been collecting the receipts and you believe she's going to expose them soon.

And just like you have predicted, she gathers everyone in the bedroom when you're still getting ready for the night. Even though you have to third-wheel Liam and Riley, you decide to sit on their bed because it's much closer to the door back to the dressing room.

"Hello, everyone!" Lana starts.

"Hi, Lana!" The group replies in unison, not sure about everyone else but you're not that excited to hear her voice.

"You have received watches as part of the next stage of your development at my retreat. Unfortunately, some of you have still decided to disobey my rules."

See? You know she's been quiet for a reason, not because she didn't know people had been secretly breaking the rules.

Nico raises his hand and speaks up, "I'm just going to straight up telling you guys that Rita and I kissed," he bravely confesses.

"I'm sorry," Rita quickly adds with an adorable pout.

Everyone let that one slide because someone is quick to claim with their rulebreak and it's making it easier for everyone to assess the damage.

"This breach of rules has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces.

Here is the time for the animosity to fill the air, the cone is still lighting up so it means she's not done, there must be another rule break.

"Okay, who else wants to fess up?" Changbin says and he looks confident saying that because there's nothing happened last night, or anything before that for that matter.

"You're looking nervous there, Gareth," Liam points out, shifting everyone's attention to him.

Gareth doesn't put on a good poker face, he keeps rubbing his chin with both of his ears reddening. You look at Jax and she's only giggling next to him.

"Oh, God!" Sabine groans with her hand flying to her forehead.

Gareth finally faces everyone and lets out a nervous laugh, "We had a moment last night, we uh..." he starts, now scratching his ears, flustered.

"With all of us in the room?" Riley asks in disbelief.

"We what?" Oliver presses him.

"We started with a kiss," Gareth continues, stammering as he speaks, "Then we wanted to..."

"Mate, stop stalling," Oliver presses him more.

Poor Gareth, he's under a lot of pressure right now and Jax is right there, leaving his man facing it alone. After a moment though, she finally finishes it for him.

"I gave him a hand job, no big deal," she nonchalantly admits.

There's a mix of reactions but most of them are disappointed groans. Apart from the fact that he spent money, you understand Gareth's struggle though.

"That's so selfish!" Changbin says loud enough for everyone to hear.

Except for Changbin probably, he doesn't understand the struggle because he's Lana's loyal disciple.

"Jax and Gareth, I must inform you that your rule breaks have resulted in a total of $16,000," Lana announces.

The groans are filling the room and everyone is sure not tolerating what Gareth and Jax did because they're only been here for barely a week now.

"The prize fund now stands at $139,000," Lana updates.

YOU: It seems like Changbin is too busy worrying about the money than our relationship [scoffs]

The vibe gets a little off in the villa ever since Lana announced the current prize fund.

You finish your make-up quickly and get out of the villa, get a drink for yourself, and then sit on the lounger.

The night is warm with cool air blowing your way, you look up and see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky, it's a beautiful night, too bad you don't have anyone to share it with.

"May I sit?" Someone asks.

You turn on your seat to see Javi standing with a drink in his hand, looking good in a black t-shirt and blue jeans and no everyone can't look that attractive in such a casual attire.

"Yes, please," you tell him with a smile.

He then sits on the lounger next to you, sitting facing you with your knees almost touching in the middle.

"How are you?" He asks.

"I'm good," you lie, in the hope that if you believed it enough, it'd come true, "You?"

"Great!" He shortly answers with a bright smile, showcasing his perfect white teeth.

You respond with a smile then take a sip of your wine, your eyes are quietly looking at the tattoos peeking out of the neckline of his t-shirt.

"You look amazing," he compliments with yet another bright smile.

"Thank you," you say, suddenly so aware of yourself that you cross your legs together.

"I like the dress. It suits you well," he compliments again.

Javi sure knows how to amuse a girl, complimenting you to the tiniest details just to let you know that he pays attention to you.

"Thank you," you say again.

Javi takes a sip of his drink before putting his attention back to you, "I actually can't believe how beautiful you are," he sweetly compliments again.

You crack a shy laugh and thank him again, suddenly having problems accepting compliments.

"It's nice to finally be able to talk to you," he says.

"Why is that so?" You curiously ask.

"As soon as I looked at you, you caught my eyes but I obviously didn't want to step on anyone's toes," Javi openly shares, avoiding using Changbin's name.

"Really?" You ask.

"Yes," He answers with a nod then buries his head in his hands, probably to hide his reddening cheeks.

And you like that in contrast to his appearance, he gets shy as he's talking to you.

"I like that you're shy, it's sexy," you compliment him back with a satisfied grin.

"Well, I'm trying to..." he can't finish his sentence without shyly laughing.

Javi takes a big gulp of his wine and swallows it down fast, he looks a little nervous so whatever he's going to say next it's important to him.

"So, what do you think the sleeping arrangements will be?" He asks.

Oh? He's quite aggressive and you like that. It reminds you of someone you used to know but unfortunately, he's not that man anymore and Javi seems to be more than glad to take that role.

You tilt your head to the side and ask, "What do you want it to be?"

Javi is giving you that gaze again, the kind of gaze that slowly strips you away from your senses, making you a little crazy.

"I think you'd look much better in my bed," he boldly remarks.

You're not sure if it's because he's so attractive, a bit aggressive or if it's because you're just so desperate for some attention and some touches.

Either way, you want in.

YOU: I've been waiting for Changbin but he clearly has not gotten the message so I might have to explore some other options here.

The longer he's away from you the more Changbin realizes that he doesn't want to give up on you.

He's indeed worrying too much about the rules and the money that he forgets that the point of this retreat is to build a connection. He admits that his plan has backfired on him.

The worst of all, he's been forcing this on you without asking you how you feel about it.

That's fatal and he understands now why you're so mad. He doesn't know why it took him this long but he's ready to have another talk with you again.

This time, he promises to be more open because you deserve it, you deserve better.

After drying his hair, Changbin tosses the towel into the laundry basket and makes his way to the bedroom. He has nothing in his mind, he's just going get in there and wait for you on his bed.

Once he pushes the door though, he's not expecting to see you getting on Javi's bed. He has to take a second to register what he's seeing before snapping himself out of it. He continues his way to his bed, collapsing onto the mattress and trying hard to ignore how Javi is cuddling you on the bed opposite his.

"You're okay, Bin?" Nico asks from the bed next to him.

Changbin plays it cool by giving him a thumbs up in response.

Well, to be honest, he's mad, he feels like walking up to you and asks, 'What the fuck?

He planned on talking to you but how is he going to do that if you're on someone's bed?

CHANGBIN: I really wanted to believe that this was going in the right decision but I just believed it too soon.

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❛ 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑. reborn au

feat. Zhongli x Reincarnated!GN!Reader | PART II | wc. 5.4K

Based on 'See You In My 19th Life' webtoon | overview. This Webtoon follows the story of a woman who somehow can remember all her past lives.

sum. You were running too fast in life, so fast that no one could catch up, not even Morax who left you to fend off with your curse. Just when you thought you'll slip and fall, a certain consultant came behind and caught you.

cw. mentions of extreme emotion breakdown. cttro 双niarss on Twitter for the art below.

main m.list genshin m.mlist

PART I < PART II

THEME SONG; Slump by Stray Kids (English Version)

There are five stages of grief; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. All in order.

In your case, it was the other way around. You have long accepted Morax will lay on his deathbed one day, every living thing will eventually cease to exist, mortal and immortal alike

You, out of all people know the in-depth concept of death.

And yet, no amount of tutelage or experience can prepare you for the real thing.

Now you understood what Morax felt when you died.

Your chest feels raw like there's a sudden gash wound that has manifested in your heart. It was painful, too painful that you wouldn't wish it upon anyone, even on your worst enemy.

Scratch that. It's not just pain. It feels something more destructive, demanding and insatiable, crueler than sorrow. Not even death can appease this feeling.

It was agony.

Impale your abdomen with a spear hundred times. Sever your limbs every lifetime. Suffer for all eternity hiding behind Morax and watch him love with someone else over and over again— you'd take them all and say thank you.

You'd be grateful and endure each of them just to trade whatever horrible feeling that's tearing you apart.

Confusion, terror and fright blanketed your mind as you slumped on the floorboards, desperately gasping for breath.

The acrid smell of snarling lightning crackles in the stale midnight air, sharp enough to singe every nerve of your body, rendering you cowering in overwhelming emotions— agony, pain and grief.

Inazuma was bustling with the news of the Geo Archon passing away recently. You could only imagine how Liyue is digesting the cruel twists of events.

The news spreads fast enough for foreign people to sympathize to Liyue citizens, some even offered prayers to the Raiden Shogun, some pay their respects by wishing the late Archon to rest in peace, some never bothered to care.

But none of them mourned in the confinements of their four walls as you did, the Celestia above knows the quiet sobs that wrecked the very core of your existence. The horrors of every shitty lives you went through cannot be compared to this day.

Rex Lapis, who is— was widely known for many names, mostly as the Geo Archon, God of War, God of Contracts, Former Prime Adepti, the Stonebreaker, God of History is now reduced by dust with his people carrying the legacy he has passed on.

To you, all this time, he's still... Morax the petulant child who leans on you for comfort, who politely demands you to sing a lullaby as kids. You're already sold to the idea no one would ever believe you if you told them what embodiment of mischief he was in the ancient times, the exact opposite of the Archon they knew about.

Nostalgia hits you in particular days you can't find traces of the young Morax, but Pride would caress your heart every achievement he succeeds as you watch the people love him.

Similar to a lone planet, you desperately search for a star to orbit around, to give you a source of energy and strength. Once you find one, it'll be difficult to rearrange your position after you have settled down, you're attached until the star loses its amber glow.

And now the star is gone. Gone with the cosmos after a supernova.

Destroying the neighboring planets, including you.

You were the closest in its orbit, you're the one who had to endure the scorching flames morphing you into ashes until you're reduced into cosmos particles for no one to remember.

Morax left you to fend off with your curse and face adversities alone.

Mortals would succumb to these adversities and would choose to sever their connection to the living to escape from everything. You've seen a handful of them and can't ever get enough of it.

If there's anything you long to have other than having Morax beside you is a swift escape.

Every mortal is capable of such thing, you are too, but it's pointless if the pain will cling to you in your next life. It's fruitless to cry when you know every affliction won't be forgotten even if you tried.

Just why?! Why do I have this perpetual curse of reincarnation? I abhor you, Celestia! Not only you cursed me, you even took away Morax from this land!

You shake your head as the anger surge took over your sanity. You thought you can just go live your merry life, unbeknownst how dependent you were to Morax.

Your will to live is solely operated by the fact you have someone you want to protect. But now he's gone? What's the back up plan? Clearly you can't just follow him in his death knowing you can die, but your memories will remain with you.

Was it out of selfishness to protect him to have someone accompany your lonely soul? Because he's the only one who actually remembers the real you?

Rain began to pour from the desolute atmosphere as you heard disembodied voices theorizing Morax's death. The muffled thundering of the storm only growing louder, reminding you of today's unsavory news. How convenient, the sky is sympathizing.

No, make it stop! I don't want fo hear any of it! Morax is dead, that's how nature works. I'm griefing because it hurts, not because I have nothing to live for.

You lived in that illusion for minutes until. . .

*drip* *drip*

. . . the dam broke.

Hot tears streamed down your face, and you squeezed your eyelids shut in the hope the pain would stop, just numbing it would be fine too. Your choppy breathing and watery eyes remained for quite some time, and sat there unmoving.

There's no see you later's anymore, for Morax has left you. Today has marked your first Goodbye to him.

For an indiscernible amount of time, there was only a black void and it could have been as if you didn’t exist and you had never existed.

And then you felt each of your cells that had been ripped apart within seconds be sewed back together just as quickly, and your eyes met nothing but a blinding white light.

Have I reborn again? You're not aware which is which anymore. You lift your numb hand and reality crashed over your head, you haven't died out of grief, yet.

Your mind is in havoc, you don't know what you want, not that you have any choice.

Dying won't help you escape, forgetting is not an option, loving. . . can't heal an open wound.

No words can equate the absolute devastation you feel.

❖ ── ✦ ── 『 6000 YRS AGO 』 ── ✦ ── ❖

This is stupid. Utterly ridiculous!

What kind of mortal would go in the mines in the middle of the night where monsters lurk in the shadows to hunt for preys? Yeah, that's a question he would like for you to answer!

He flies twice the speed he usually exerts, his mind running rampant of all worst possible scenarios.

He doesn't know what compelled you to do such ridiculous act, but all he knows is he has get to you before any monsters do.

Landing unceremoniously, he gulps at the sight before him. He was never a fan of darkness, it never fails to instill fear in him, the fear of the unknown.

The only time he feels comfortable in the night is whenever you're around him. You don't fear the night, and it somehow influenced him in a way that there's nothing that should be afraid of as long as you're with him— as his human shield.

Young Morax finds himself slowly withdrawing, the fear overpowering his will to come and save you.

"Morax? What are you doing out here?" Saved by the gracious voice of yours, young Morax nearly broke his neck with how fast he looked at your direction.

Your face is contorted out of concern for him, he's sweating profusely and his breathing is ragged.

Just seeing you all in one piece with no signs of injuries made hin slumped on the ground, sighing in relief.

You were at his side seconds later, subconsciously caressing his cheeks. Celestia above! He's shaking like a leaf!

"It's alright, let's get you out of here." Your soothing voice appeased his troubled mind as you helped him get back on his feet. He clutches the fabric of your shirt and wordlessly launches himself on you, arms and tiny tail entrapping you in an embrace.

You waste no second reciprocating the gesture, you've known him for months to be comfortable with physical sentiments. Though you can't say the same to him as he would always flinch away when you initiate it, but has no problem when he does it.

And it seems like he needs your comfort to even give a damn.

"Whatever it is, it can't hurt you now okay?"

From that angle, he peered from below you as if confirming the validity of your words, amber eyes looking like someone has kicked an innocent puppy, it's no wonder you have a soft spot for him.

Both of you strayed away from the caves leading to mines, "I-I thought you l-left me." He meekly mumbled, almost incoherent.

That baffles you as he continues, "I overheard f-from your village that m-monsters are increasing in the area and you're probably..."

"Shh... I'm here now, aren't I? I'm sorry you have to hear that, I can assure you I haven't encountered any marauding monsters during my little excursion." You sighed, guilt pooling your conscience.

He sniffled, "So, you're not going to leave me?"

"Can I even go anywhere when you have a sharp sense of smell?"

"I'm a dragon, not a wolf." He whined, though you could still see the glint of dubious in his eyes, "Can I trust your word?"

Words never served him better than actions, you ought to show him you honor your word by affirming it through gestures.

Smiling, you offered your hand to him.

"How about you hold my hand on our way home? Will that help?" He stares at you and literally contemplated before he relented.

It's warm, much similar to your hug, but like a form of hug that has been reduced to a smaller fraction. It's still a paragon of comfort.

Surely enough, it did help his mind to be at ease. If you ever feel like he's cutting off your circulation, he is cutting your circulation by intertwining your fingers as if trying to tangle it so it won't loose.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm stupid for cowering away just because of some stupid dark cave." He lowered his head in shame.

He's a Dragon who has greater strength than most beings, and yet he lets his fear consume him as if they can hurt him like how—

"Nonsense! Don't ever think like that or I will personally be the reason why you should fear humans." As stern as you sound, your eyes tell a different story.

Young Morax deduced this as concern, which resulted a flustered and heartwarming reaction from the boy. You were worried for him.

It shouldn't be something he's supposed to feel happy about, but your fretful intentions warranted warmth and security in his mind.

"I didn't know how oddly. . . pleasant it is to hold hands." He mused, and you responded with an amused giggle, "Here I thought only couples do this stuff, but it's really reassuring."

"It does, doesn't it? Sometimes the solution to your conflicts is in a form of validation."

Too wise for a kid, he inwardly complained, ". . .Meaning?"

You hold his other hand and stood to face him with a sequined smile, "No matter how minuscule or massive your fears are, you'll still find comfort when someone validates your feelings; to let you know that they care. It may not be the solution in some cases, but it's better than being alone in times of your vulnerability."

You leaned slightly closer, "Can I ask you a favor?" Your gaze pierced right through his soul and he can only nod absently which resulted for you to grin.

"If you see someone, friend and stranger even enemies, looking so vulnerable that they actually might cry. . ." You lifted your intertwined hands with his, ". . .Make them feel significant."

A cold midnight wind whisked past the both of you, your eyes shone brighter than jewels and stars alike as you spoke those words that made a huge impact in his life.

". . .Even if my enemies are about to cry because I'm about to end their miserable lives?"

What a way to ruin the moment.

"You know what I mean, Mora." You deadpan, preparing to let go of his hand, but his grip is much stronger and it only tightens once he feels you're trying to detach.

"I'm afraid you have to elaborate further, Y/N. And please, I only have two syllables in my name. What's so hard in including the X?" In contrast to his words, he quite enjoys hearing his nickname.

"The X is not even a syllable, Mora."

That time, young Morax found peace.

He's always on the hunt for something new, something glimmering, something incredible, something undiscovered and something bedazzling. That's how his childlike brain thinks and he seizes anything outwardly beautiful.

But he never knew how amazing it was to see something— or rather, to see someone's beauty on the inside.

Perhaps that's what draws him to you, because of your voice, patience and understanding. He would never admit it though

To him, you're beautiful inside and out, almost perfect, even your flaws are easy to love.

He can't deny he wasted a few immortal years just mourning your death, you'd probably scold him.

Within those years, he's only reliving the memories and wise words you have with him. He wanted to come out as a better person after your death, take it as an honour of your passing.

You made him for what he is.

If he hadn't met you he'd still be the intolerable, impatient and disrespectful person as he grows up.

He'd still fear the unknown, never having the courage to take risks and accept whatever outcomes.

Everything he does always brings him back to you, his actions always correlates to something that's relevant about you. It had always been you.

He prays the Celestia to let you know you will always be apart of his person. Yes, you died, but every lingering piece of you still remains intact in the deep recesses of his mind.

He has moved on, but you remain the person he loved the most. Not even the sands of time has the capability to change that.

"How disastrous. People can be really simple-minded." Morax rubbed both of his temples once he heard the speculation of him and Guizhong plausible relationship.

"I apologize on their behalf, it never crossed my mind they'll be quick to make assumptions." The fair Goddess bowed in shame.

"You have done nothing wrong to spark such rumors, Guizhong. If anything, it is I who should seek forgiveness for I have tied you down with such unpleasant gossips."

She meekly chuckles, "If we're going to paint ourselves as the culprit then we might as well work together to quell the rumors."

His perfectly lined eyebrows knitted, which didn't go unnoticed by Guizhong, "What seems to be troubling your mind?"

A few seconds ticked by before he let out a whisper that only Barbatos can only hear thanks to his wind. For Guizhong who has keen sense of hearing, "If Y/N was here I'll gear up for another war just to extinguish this spreading rumors." She stifled a laugh.

Oh, she knows alright. She knows you. She knows the person who captivated Morax's heart, it's all about he talks to her in their leisure time and you're not a secret between their comrades.

Most people would find it dull to listen about someone's life unless it held any merit to pass onto the other mouth, she would too. But Morax describes you like a protagonist of a fairy tale, like some mythical being, caught between two worlds, a miracle of existence that racked his existence— which makes you an interesting person

She was so eager to meet you, it was rather unfortunate that you've already passed on uncountable years ago.

"Where are you going?" She inquired as the Geo Archon whisk passed her, "Out to visit an old friend. I won't be returning until tomorrow dawn."

She sighed, a corresponding smile soon follows as she took over his job for the meantime.

Morax walked through the barren areas in Mt. Tianheng, it became part of his leisure activities during the day when his mind needs to detach itself from reality and let himself be swayed by the memories he tucked in the deep recesses of his mind.

Memories of his late comrades who perished in the horrors of war and the most painful but nostalgic one; Y/N.

He ruefully sighed at the thought of you. Even in death, you have full grasp of his heart and shroud his head with your image.

Filtered beams of light accented the spaces between the ancient trees that twisted like spires from the undergrowth. Golden leaves littered the forest floor as Morax appraised the trail of mycelium path, one leading to a particular tree.

His expression remains unchanging, at least that's what he thought, any stranger sees him they'll stop to ponder what made this godly man smile so fondly.

A single maple leaf flow with the breeze, swaying in inconsistent direction until it falls in his gloved hand. The rich color of autumn and texture brings him back in his youthful days.

[ cttro papercider on Twitter ]

"Ah! All I do is reminisce to pass time." He muttered to himself as he let the leaf get carried away by the zither winds once again.

"It certainly has been awhile, Y/N. I was but a petulant child since I've visited you. I now stand here as the Geo Archon." It has been a habit to come back to this specific tree and treats it as his home.

It's a sacred place he's closely attached to, he can perfectly picture his young self failing to spy on you. He grimaced at the memory when he was caught in the act.

"I still have no idea why you let me trail your shadows, you weren't least afraid that I'm a dragon. You told me you're fascinated, but. . . was that the only reason?"

Only the breeze answered for him with nothing, "If you hadn't allowed me to do so I do not know what kind of person I would be as of today." He steps closer and pulled off his hood.

He let the silence hang for minutes, maybe even hours. Just standing there as he appreciates what nature has to offer in the place where his story began with you.

"Are you proud of me? My comrades claimed they were more than proud to stand alongside with me, but I doubt the veracity of their words when I led them to their demise. Is it that prideful to have me as a friend when I bring nothing but misfortune?"

He finally sat down between the roots of the tree, relishing the blissful comfort as the sunlight accentuates his godly features.

"I met a boy who was being manipulated by an evil god who only desires power and selfish gains." He began.

"He was a fierce warrior, strong and capable, the manipulation only fuels him to be at his strongest form. I was thinking of eradicating him, but his eyes already looked so dead. It reminded me of. . ."

He holds his tongue and shuts his eyes as he's in pain, "It would be one of my greatest regrets if I had impaled my spear into him."

"I thought of you that time. Hadn't it been to my promise to you, I wouldn't have gained a new ally. Xiao is his name."

The wind blew stronger, ". . . I forgot you can summon him just by calling out his name." He chuckles to himself.

Green statics cracked into the air and quickly revealed a masked man with his polearm readied for any danger.

"Settle down now. I apologize, your name slipped in my mouth." The young Yaksha visibly looked confused even under the layers of his mask.

"I was narrating a story to my old friend Y/N."

Guizhong couldn't have been more right.

By the end of the day, Xiao now knows every detail there is to know about the person called Y/N. It's what Morax ever talk to him.

"Mr. Zhongli is in a very elated mood ever since you told him Archon knows what, Traveler." Hu Tao, the Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor finds the situation quite absurd to look at, but never impossible. His mood just feels out of place.

Who looks at mournful families with an eccentric smile on their face as they consult them about their loved one's death?

"Why does Paimon feel like you're pointing finger at the traveler?" She puts her tiny hands on tiny her hips like a mother hen.

The Traveler let out a nervous laugh, "I wonder what exactly brought him in such high spirit with my words."

"Ooh... Paimon thinks it's about Y/N. Isn't it obvious by now?" Hu Tao furrowed her eyebrows, "Y/N? You mean the Adventurer?" Both heads snapped at her direction, "You know them?"

She reluctantly shrugged, "Only at acquaintance level. They showed interest in business and I taught them a few things." She smiled at the epilogue of her statement.

"If they ever come back, my hunch tells me you'd find them in Wangshu Inn, they frequented there before." She added before turning her attention to a new customer.

Zhongli, who's been eavesdropping, perked up at the claims. Perhaps he should visit Xiao tonight and totally won't inquire if he ever met you before.

Midnight falls and Zhongli bid his farewell to the traveler before heading towards the Wangshu Inn.

For some unknown reason, Zhongli could sense the foreboding feeling that's nagging his instincts as he gets closer to his desired destination, yet he doesn't stop. What's worse is that he doesn't know if it's for the good or bad.

All of a sudden, a harsh breeze blew past his face as if the winds attempting to convey a message that's only for his intuition to decipher, for him to meander.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his statue glowing bright blue, but that wasn't what caught his attention. A hand reached out to touch the stone statue.

A mop of [H/C] facing him backward bowed down in respect of the late Rex Lapis, but Zhongli could feel a much more intense feeling.

Something stirs inside him, he remembers this situation— when he watched Y/N with such fascination from above the tree, not knowing what they look like, yet they never fail to express their feelings through threaded words he finds so wondrous to hear.

In contrary to that, the person appears to be. . . forlorn. He stepped closer until he's only less than five meters away from them.

All of a sudden, he feels skittish around the person. It's as if he doesn't want to leave a bad first impression, he's suddenly self-conscious of his looks, and Zhongli never cared about his outer appearance.

Then they spoke, in a solemn voice.

"See you later, Mora. I hope you found your eternal peace."

There are times when you wish you'd forget Morax, some that you don't. But still, in the birth of new beings, you will find Morax in his next life. The prospect of being alone is a phobia you can't ever overcome unless you have Morax.

What a joke. It should've been a farewell. Your final goodbye to your old friend. Not a hopeless see you later.

It took you months to come with that mindset, only to end up saying what's the exact opposite.

It was difficult to come back in Liyue, every step adds a new pile of memory that drags you further into the depths of agony. Every where you look reminds you of the late Geo Archon. Each encouraging word in your mind gets trampled on by his image.

You consider it as an achievement to stand tall in front of his statue after his death, and a failure that you didn't get to bid your final words to him before you depart from Liyue.

You're still clinging to a nonexistent hope that you'll actually get to see him even after your death. Old habits die hard they say. It couldn't have been more relatable than now.

Sighing in disappointment, you retracted your hand from the statue and briskly turn around when you felt the disturbance behind you.

A gloved hand suspended in the air seems to be trying to reach out to you. As you raise your eyes to meet the oh-so-familiar glowing amber eyes that you grew to love. . .

You offered the stranger a faux smile, seemingly naive to the person standing in front of you with an aghast expression.

You failed to realize Morax as Zhongli just as Morax failed to realize you in your different lives.

"Hello. How may I help you?"

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Time has stopped, both hands of the clock moved counterclockwise, bringing him back to the time he first laid his eyes on you— so unsuspecting from what's about to unravel after a sweet hello.

His broadened eyes are solely fixated on you, it ingnited a feeling he couldn’t immediately identify, a sense of a certain and long-forgotten familiarity fogged his memory.

From the color of your eyes, skin and hair. The subtle furrow of your eyebrows and the upturn of your lips. The gentle facade that compelled him to indulge his curiosity towards you.

Y/N. . . Are you the Y/N the traveler was talking about?

But you bare no resemblance to the Y/N he knew, yet he can tell how it is your soul residing in the mortal's body. It is you. Your eyes aren't the ones that welcomed him as new friend. It feels different.

You're smiling while your eyes are grieving.

Your eyes failed to conceal your weeping soul and could only hope the last bits of its strength will keep it standing until someone reach a hand to put back the shattered pieces.

Behind that gleeful stare was a mountain of pain and extracting it would bring instability to the person who would dare to climb. Yet come what may, you're always worth any risk.

He lowered his hand to shake yours, his lips upturned into an enigmatic smile.

Your heart went erratic and the usually dormant butterflies imploded in your stomach. You haven't felt like a teenager since. . .

You felt your breath hitch in your throat when suddenly, with a mere handful of strides, the beautiful man was standing right in front of you, his amber eyes searching your face intently, trying to find whatever it was he was seeking.

"My name is Zhongli, I'm a consultant in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor." Your [E/C] eyes blinked surreptitiously before accepting it. What a beautiful name, you thought almost immediately.

Under normal circumstances you would've strictly reprimanded the man with his incongruous advances, but you felt something else, something so powerful it overshadowed your senses.

It was a need, an unyielding need to be close to him.

Rather than pushing him away, something inside you stirs awake and begin to implore to coalesce with his existence.

"I'm Y/N L/N, an adventurer."

So it is really you.

He briefly looks down to their intwined hands.

For countless nights, the image of your bloodied hand reaching out to him as you take your last breath plagued his every dream. The tender, soft hands that will no longer bring him comfort. The hand of the person whom he loved so dearly, whom he failed to protect against the wicked ways of the world.

The intense urge to hide you away from the prying eyes that shared similarities to his kept his mind in shambles.

Which what led him to mumble to you what his thoughts are repeating like a mantra.

When he spoke the promise he'll show you what's up at the highest altitude his wings could go, he was mostly speaking out of his selfish desire to hold onto your hand and fly you away to the farthest place no living creatures have ever stumbled upon.

He had to learn it the hard way; that the greater you wish for something, the crueler fate can be. Maybe if he hadn't been so greedy you could've live your mortal life.

Now that you are standing in front of him, shaking your hand, he can amend his mistake by straying far away from you before he repeats history itself, before he could inflict pain on you again.

And yet, looking at you attempting to shoulder the boulders of life is what all it takes for all the wisdom he garnered for centuries to be thrown out the window.

He can't imagine himself distancing from you when you're suffering and have no one comfortable enough to share your burdens with, no one to validate your feelings, no one to embrace you in your vulnerable times.

You taught him to be compassionate, to not disregard emotions, and he's about to set that in motion. You were there when he needed you the most, offered your shoulder to vent out his feelings, it's about time to let him do what you always did for him.

It became abundantly clear he's not willing to let you go through anything alone just like he had gone through without you.

"You claim you're a consultant. Did you perhaps think I'm a potential customer?"

He let go of your hand as much as he loathes being away from your warmth for even just a second, he's still convinced you can be taken away from him at any given moment.

"Indeed, I couldn't stand idle and watch you grieve alone." He watches how you averted your eyes as if hiding the pain would appease your mind.

"I appreciate the thought. . . though, I highly doubt it'll be effective."

He mentally chuckled at the irony. He, too, was once amazed of what simple gestures can bring to a downhearted person.

"Hmm. An old friend once showed me how to console a person. Allow me to share their insights."

Your eye brows perched in curiosity, this man speaks like he's in his 50s or something, ". . .If you insist. I could use a company for now."

Morax experienced eons of desires to attain what he wishes to, though he refrains from being blinded by those greedy thoughts as he had witnessed how cruel fate can be when he once desired to have you. Will history repeat itself?

Zhongli chortles in response, but his expression soon turned nostalgic, "I may not know what adversities you're facing nor do I know who you are, but know that you're never alone."

His smile never left his face as he takes off his glove and held the palm face forward to you, he watches how your eyes glisten with unshed tears, "W-What is that supposed to convey?"

You didn't even notice how much gap he closed just to increase the proximity between the both of you. Archons! You can smell the lingering scent of Osmanthus Wine mingling with his breath!

Is he a drunkard like Venti?

Perhaps this man is drunk to comprehend his actions, perhaps he won't remember this the never next day, perhaps he has mistaken you for someone else, perhaps—

"Wherever you wish to go, I'll keep you company. I dare ask if I may hold your hand along the way, Y/N?"

Perhaps there's hope you can cling onto until your aching heart is at ease.

Your hand found its way to his, almost too desperate to not let this moment of comfort vanish. Just this once, you thought to yourself as the man smiled with absolute glee that it puts the sun in shame.

Out of reflex, your fingers laced with his, wanting nothing more than to relieve in the warmth of his hand. His expression soon turned into a priceless one as if he's in disbelief that you actually just did that, and that alone made the realization struck you harder than Raiden's lightning and fried your nerves with embarrassment.

"I-I'm so-sorry! I didn't mean to get too comfortable!"

You're a stranger to him, and you acted as if you've been a longtime friends. He must have been feeling uncomfortable, you nervously thought as you quickly tried reel back your hand in an attempt to salvage whatever budding acquaintanceship you have.

Keyword; tried.

Your action prompts him to retaliate by locking his fingers in place, keeping your hand sealed with his and shot you a reassuring smile.

"Do not fret. I'm delighted to know I somehow earned a little fraction of your trust. It's only fair to mirror the trust you gave me."

As if to spell out his point, he held up your intertwined hands just below your chin. His eyes blazed with a newfound emotion you couldn't decipher. He almost looks eager. He was gripping your hand, not too tight, but firm enough give emphasize of something.

His action wasn't fruitless as it gained a reaction from you. Your eyebrows twitched, there's something too familiar about it, but your memory refuses to give you that answer.

Instead, you could only mutter weak responses, "I-I understand, but if you feel uncomfortable in any way then don't hesitate to point out what I'm doing wrong."

Whether it was a satisfying answer he wants to hear, his emotions betrayed to even give you a brief answer and his face only lit up as he turns away from you, "You could never do anything wrong in my eyes."

Did he just say something? "What was that?"

"Nothing. Are you new in Liyue? I could give you a tour if you'd like to make you familiarize with the environment."

Your lips turned into a genuine smile, it didn't reach your ears but something tells you this man will lengthen it until you're the happiest person alive, "I'd love to, Zhongli."

As the wind blows to the East, a new chapter has began with a new retelling of their unfinished story. Until the last maple leaf falls and the oldest standing tree drought, two souls will always find their way to rekindle what has been lost.

>> PART III

─ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. @itsyourgirlria @shizunxie @elsoleil @cherlynono @slzarr @katsuissus @tartarsaucechi1de @spyanya @tikitsune @shoujishu @useless-potatho @chimsblogg @xiamuyi @lemonlimesocks @belletifeshyl @alexon-mars @multifandomvoyage @malt-rants-and-stuff @jameineliebe @angelkazusstuff @orginiallyann @eissaaaa @beezgobuzzbuzz @towos @kamukayakmonyet @atsukawolfcat @sunflowers1970 @yamtwt @avery-needs-more-fics @angstylittleb1tch @bigcandlesmolbrain @lxmine @imk1ra @fauxizs @islxisl @chihawari @bishishbored @yuuki4646 @sunsethw4 @princeabomination @alexiris @chocolateneapolitan @ayra2452008 @akaritenchi @sophiee-bush @ittosoneandoniwife @alatus2716 @almighty-raiden-shogunate

(it's my first time doing tags so pls inform me if it's not working, idk why the others are white, did I do something wrong??)

PS. if you want to get tagged for the next part or be removed then simply comment it TAGLIST is for the readers who want to be updated for my future genshin works.

─ 𝐀/𝐍. Can you all smell that? *sniff sniff* I smell a Xiao ver. of this 👀👀 Fr, I didn't expect the fic will be loved that much as I initially thought, I received many appreciative comments and messages which is what motivated me to write part 2, and possibly part 3 (just for the fluff) since this was supposed to be a series but I crossed that idea out until everyone broke my expectation. Thank you💜💙 and merry christmas everyone ❤💚

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #zhongli fic #zhongli angst #genshin crossover #genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin x reader #zhongli fluff #crossover #see you in my 19th life #webtoon #genshin impact crossover #reborn au #genshin zhongli #Spotify

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delfiore · 1 year

Text

—DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT. (1/3)

pairing: natasha romanoff x android!reader

synopsis: you are sent to gain intel on the black widow by the organization that made you. a relationship with her makes you realize the joys of being human.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: this idea has literally been in my draft for almost two years now lolz

PART II, PART III

When you were activated, you were fully aware of your mission. You gained access to the instructions in nanoseconds; find information on the mind control mechanism used by the Red Room, and retrieve concrete formulaic data.

Tony Stark rarely opened interviews for a lab assistant, but you were invited right away for your ‘excellent display of scientific knowledge and skills in the laboratory’.

You anticipated your moments to be present in the lab. You knew Stark was working on improvements for Black Widow’s electro shock weapon. You stood a little straighter, looked a little too focused on reorganizing Stark’s projects, just to conceal your interest in the woman.

When she entered the lab, you let her eyes linger on you a little, before looking up. Her eyes were greener than you had thought.

Mission Log 001

First contact made. No sign of hostility. Amicable acquaintanceship expected.

FD700-16.

You went on your first date with Natasha a couple of months after your first meeting, all the while you made sure to play your part well. She took you to a fair down by the piers, where you pretended to miss your shots when trying your luck at the shooting range, so that she could display her skills and win you a teddy bear. By the end of the night, Natasha had felt comfortable enough to hold your hand as she walked you home.

“Tonight was fun,” she laughed quietly, the way lovesick teenage girls do.

“Yeah, it was,” you sighed.

All of your research told you the Black Widow rarely showed her true self to people. Even amongst her own Avengers teammates, Hawkeye was the only one she truly trusted. And yet, she grabbed your hand gently, and leaned in to kiss your cheek, and giggled when she pulled back.

“Goodnight.” She said, her voice as soft as the night’s winds.

You watched her leave for a moment before going back inside.

Your maker entrusted you to succeed. You were reminded of it everyday by the engraving on the sole of your foot that read ‘Property of VULCAN’. And you will.

You learned that Natasha liked to used sly comments to deflect personal questions. She could be very charming when she wanted to, but also genuine. You needed to appear harmless. So you opted for brighter colors in your outfit for the date in which Natasha asked you if you wanted to be in a relationship with her.

“Would you maybe . . . wanna be my girlfriend?” There was an unusual meekness to her demeanor that you haven’t really seen since your first date, but it made you all the more fascinated with your subject, and how multi-faceted she could be. Is this what all humans are like?

How do I be more like them?

“If not you, then who?” You let her swoop you into a feverish kiss.

For a moment, you felt at ease, light, human.

Mission Log 063

Subject has made advances and suggested a romantic relationship. Relationship established.

FD700-16.

You played along being her lover, all the while sending detailed information about her back to headquarters, where your maker, a man you only knew as Caesar, would receive them.

She also told you about her sister, and her adoptive parents one day when she came back from visiting them. She said they would be thrilled to meet you. You smiled and said you’d love to come to hear all the embarrassing stories about her when she was a kid.

They served you all the wonderful Russian delicacy when you came to visit which you were grateful for, and for the fact that you were made with a sense of taste and a digestive system. Yelena defended you from her parents when Alexei and Melina kept asking you too many questions. Her family was a weird bunch, but they worked together. You almost felt like you belong.

Mission Log 078

First contact made with agents from 1992-1995 Ohio mission.

Alexei Shostakov (adoptive father)

Melina Vostokoff (adoptive mother)

Yelena Belova (adoptive sister)

FD700-16.

Every touch, every hug, every kiss you shared with Natasha, you acted to perfection. It was imperative that she be convinced you loved her for you to gain her trust. You let her glide her hands anywhere she wanted along your body, touch you with the intensity she deemed right.

For the first time, you were shown the way humans show affection on a deeply personal and intimate level. This was what sexual intercourse was, you thought. You were aware that you would never be one of them, but you didn’t hold back sighs and moans of content when Natasha kissed you and touched you in all the ways that stimulated all the right nerve endings.

Though when Natasha lay naked beside you, her eyes closed as she slept soundly did you get the chance to really look at her without worrying about how she would look at you. And if you knew anything about beauty, you’d say it was her.

Caesar was getting impatient to find more information on the chemicals from the Red Room, so you needed to hurry on your search of the location of the file.

You tried to slip the conversation in as smoothly as you could, whenever it was just you and Natasha, whenever her guard was down. She never suspected a thing, and told you that the formula had been copied onto a disk, which has since been destroyed.

“I just think that it’s horrible.” You mumbled. “The key to weaponizing free will all contained in a tiny disk.”

“Okay, little Detective.” She chuckled and kissed your forehead. “I’m gonna crash now.”

You nodded and snuggled back into her arms.

“I love you.” She murmured.

You bit down on your teeth and held her closer.

Perhaps you loved her too.

“Close down for the night, will you?” Stark said before grabbing his coat.

“I will, Mr. Stark.” You nodded with a smile.

You watched him walked through the door of the lab. Once you were sure he was out of sight, you found a place to sit down, pretending that you were resting so as not to raise F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s suspicion.

Mission Log 085

The formula had been duplicated onto a disk, but subject thinks it has been destroyed.

Standby until further useful information is acquired.

FD700-16.

The next day, you woke up to a distressing message from Caesar:

“Advancing on Avengers Compound on the 25th. Retrieve the disk before then, or you’re shut down.”

The 25th was next Saturday. There was a coldness that ran down your back, a chilling dread at the pit of your stomach. Dread, fear. These feelings couldn’t have been in your original program, you were built to be fearless, but Caesar also built you to learn. Just like you learned to love Natasha.

Your Natasha.

She looked so peaceful in her sleep. It was a rare occurrence to see her let down her guard like this. She had just returned from a mission that took two weeks, and you convinced her to get a full night’s sleep instead of working on reports right away.

You let your fingers glide along her fringes, moving them out of her shut eyes, down to her cheekbones, then ghosting ever so slightly over her lips. You had become so familiar with her plump lips, and the way they behave like creatures in their own rights. Most of the time, you wished to press your own against them, and the pillowy sensation of it gave you what one could only describe as bliss.

“Morning,” she mumbled sleepily.

It was just the two of you here, the morning was early and still. Caesar could never take it away from you. You made sure to store this in your secret compartment, in which you only kept the most important files. Funnily enough, it was full of her.

You knew this day would come, you’d have to do what you were sent here for. But it didn’t hurt any less. You wanted to laugh: you have learned to hurt.

Mission Log 085

Give me two weeks. I’ll have it before then.

FD700-16.

At breakfast, you barely had the stomach to eat anything. You needed to come up with a plan to find the disk without Nat noticing. Every scenario you calculated resulted in the biggest catastrophes, none of them a happy ending.

Happy endings are for humans, not androids.

You felt a hand press against your thigh, and Nat was looking at you with a concern smile. “You okay, honey?” She asked. You felt tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. In a twisted scenario you conjured, void of the logical algorithm you were installed with, you saw yourself happy with Natasha. You wanted to throw your arms around her neck, and cry and confess everything, hoping that she had the heart to forgive you.

Instead, you only smiled, and intertwined your hand with hers. “I’m fine. Just a bit sleepy,” you lied.

A couple of days passed, and still, you heard nothing back from Caesar. You could only hope that he heeded your request.

The time not spent worrying about Caesar’s next move, you spent thinking of a way to extract the information you needed. You thought about texting Yelena or Melina to ask about it, but it would seem way too suspicious for Natasha to ask about something so important over text. So you opted for sweeping through her laptop. Sometimes what you seek lies right under your nose.

And rewarded you were. You found a lead in a file buried deep inside harmless looking files, titled ‘Photos’. The file needed decoding, but nothing that you couldn’t handle in a few minutes. You hovered your pinky over the USB hub, and when the tip of it morphed into a port, you quickly copied the file over.

“What are you doing?” Your blood ran cold. Natasha was walking over to you, unalarmed. Thankfully you were sitting against the bed frame.

“Just shopping around for ideas for Saturday night,” you shrugged casually, retracting your pinky. “What are you wearing?”

She let out a quick laugh. “You know I don’t care for Tony’s parties, so whatever’s on top of the pile.”

“And somehow you always manage to look gorgeous. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” You teased, setting the laptop aside.

A blush crept onto Nat’s cheek, as she found your hand to press a light kiss to it. When she looked back up at you, there was a tenderness in her eyes that made your knees buckle.

“I love you,” she confessed, “I never thought I’d ever be so happy. But you, you just—“ She shook her head with a smile, “you might have saved me.”

You were at a loss for words. There was an uneasy feeling bubbling in your stomach; pain, guilt, anger, you didn’t know. You loved her too, so much, and this moment should have been beautiful.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Nat cooed softly, wiping away at the corner of your eyes.

You only brought your arms around hers and kissed her deeply, afraid your words might fail you. Natasha, I’m not human, I’m a machine, I’m a spy, I was sent to ruin everything, you wanted to blurt out.

I’m not worthy of your love.

“I love you too,” you said instead. “So much.”

As much as a machine can love.

You spent the day tangled up in Natasha’s arms, warm and loved, until you receive Caesar’s message:

“New objective - FD700-16:

Eliminate Natasha Romanoff. Effective immediately.”

PART II, PART III

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff imagines #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst

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osamusriceballs · 5 months

Text

The Accident Part VIII

Atsumu x fem reader

Warnings: None

Words: ~ 2k

About: You finally meet your good friend <3

Part I II -> Next part

"You know each other?!"

You stare at Atsumu with wide eyes, who just stares at the short blonde next to you and raises his eyebrows as if he just had an epiphany.

"Where have I—wait. Karasuno. Karasuno's manager! You're a friend of Shoyo-kun!" Atsumu's eyes shine when he talks about Karasuno, and you furrow your brows when you remember that it's the name of Yachi's old school. "Shoyo-kun? Like—Hinata Shoyo?" You ask, recalling a bright orange-haired man you've met a few times already when Yachi had invited you to drink with her and her friends. They had always been a lively bunch, definitely growing on you the more often you saw them.

"Hmm, we work together," Atsumu nods, and you blankly stare at him while you try to digest that piece of information. You know that Hinata is a professional volleyball player. Very professional. Olympics level professional. He offered you cards to his games quite a few times, and you had politely declined, not wanting to cause him trouble, but he had sent you tickets anyway for a game in a few weeks.

That probably means that Atsumu is a professional player too—or he might be some kind of manager, according to the vague statement that they are working together. His physique and his posture tell you that he potentially could be an athlete- you would believe that in a second.

"Working together like... playing volleyball too?" You ask for clarification, tilting your head curiously while you watch his reaction. His lips curl into a smug smile, and the confidence he's radiating now makes your legs turn into jelly.

"Yeah. I'm a professional, just like Shoyo-kun. He loves my sets, by the way. Always aces them with no problem."

His eyes capture yours and you hang on his every word, definitely surprised by the development. You're married to a probably very famous professional Olympia volleyball player. You're not even sure what to think about this; the new details just made the whole situation more absurd and unrealistic. The only good thing is that Yachi apparently knows him. You could maybe get more information out of Yachi about him later.

"I—wait. The marriage—you married ATSUMU MIYA?" Your attention shifts to Yachi, who turns almost worryingly red, and you quickly step closer to her and reach for her arm, trying to calm her down. "Yes, but it's okay. He's a good guy, okay?" You smile encouragingly, and Yachi takes a few hasty loud breaths before she nods.

Atsumu watches you both and awkwardly clears his throat, a faint blush covering his cheeks at your words, and rubs the back of his head. "I'll leave ya two alone then. I'll call ya, y/n."

The last thing you see is his smile before he turns around and walks away with his hands in his pockets now. His broad back is evident, especially when he's wearing the white dress shirt, and you can't help but admire the man for a second before Yachi enters your sight once again.

"Y/n! - what happened?!"

xxx

"I can't believe you're married to Atsumu Miya!" she exclaims, still sounding shocked as she repeats the same sentence for the third time after you managed to tell her the fully story during the car ride. Both of you sit on her comfortable plush couch, adorned with a few of her stylish designer blankets. You're glad to be in a familiar place finally, but you can't help but to think about Atsumu. Will he call or leave a message soon? You wouldn't mind him calling today already- just to make sure you have his number. Nothing else. Just to clear that whole marriage thing. And nothing else.

You nod with a mild smile an attempt to calm her slight panic. Atsumu has assured you that everything will be taken care of, and you find yourself actually trusting him. "It'll be okay. You mentioned he's a good guy, right? I mean, he's friends with Hinata."

Yachi deeply inhales and takes a sip of her tea and nods. "He's close to Hinata. They get along really well. But let me tell you, Atsumu Miya in high school is something else. His serves were powerful and terrifying- not as much as today, but still enough to keep us all on the edge. Even Nishinoya had a hard time receiving them. Atsumu-san and Osamu-san managed to copy Hinata's and Kageyama's special attack effortlessly. It was insane. Maybe we can find a recording of it."

She grabs the remote to turn on the TV, and you lean forward eagerly at the thought of seeing more of Atsumu. "I wonder what Atsumu looked like in high school," you muse, taking a sip of your tea, its slight bitterness complementing the rich flavor. "He basically still looks the same. His hair got a bit brighter, and I think he grew a bit. And gained mass," Yachi responds, finding what she's looking for with an excited squeal. "Here!"

You both watch how a much younger Atsumu raises his arm and much to your surprise the whole crowd falls silent. "What- that's not normal, is it?" You turn to Yachi who seems slightly pale, probably because she remembers the moment vividly. "That's normal for Atsumu Miya. He was so good and popular that he got that special treatment. It helps him to focus. Oh, and watch his steps! You can tell what kind of serve he's going to make by the number of his steps."

You diligently nod and watch him serve again, taking six steps this time. The camera angle is a tad bit closer this time, and you don't fail to see his yellow-ish hair that definitely looks different compared to his looks today. He was very fit, even back then, but he is definitely more buff today.

You watch some more of Atsumu's powerful serves, his form screaming utmost perfection, and memories of the very same strong, muscular arms wrapped around you make heat rush to your cheeks. Yachi continues to share insights about his playing style, and you quickly try to focus on her words.

"...their combined attacks are difficult to anticipate. But look at how Kei blocks it!" You nod enthusiastically while you observe Tsukishima's impressive block. The video then shifts to another game, showcasing Atsumu in a black uniform adorned with yellow claw prints on his sleeves.

"Oh, that's from the MSBY game! You should have seen him; there's this amazing set—" Yachi's words trail off as the camera cuts to an unusual angle, revealing Atsumu's impressive thighs in full glory as he sets the ball with a ridiculously seductive smile. Your jaw drops at the unexpected sight- you know for sure you would have fainted if you saw that scene in live. How dare he look so good while setting the ball?? "Look, Hinata easily managed to hit that! And there's Bokuto-san!" You recognize the orange-haired spiker, sharing a smile and high-five with Bokuto. "I can't believe that they all actually know each other."

"Yeah," Yachi smiles and nods. "Hinata always talks about Atsumu-san. And Bokuto-san is close with Osamu-san, I think. I've seen him post a few pictures with Akaashi-san at Onigiri-Miya."

"Is that the name of his restaurant? Atsumu said he would take me there someday." Yachi gives you a side-eye, and reaches for her phone. "You've gotten pretty close, haven't you? You seemed really flustered when-" You quickly interrupt her, "No! I—I don't even know him. I don't even have his number. He was just being nice, we're not really close."

Yachi nods with a small grin, and hands you her phone. "Here. That's his Instagram. He's also often at Onigiri Miya. It seems like he's very proud of his brother's success. I though you might want to have a look at his life."

"Thank you." Yachi is truly a great friend, and you feel once again fond of being close to her. As you scroll through Atsumu's Instagram, you find a mix of game snapshots, some pictures with Osamu, in which he always has a plate full of food in front of him, and you can't help but zoom into the plates, impressed by the neatly arranged dishes. As you keep on scrolling, you almost gasp loudly when you find a very surprising collaboration with Calvin Klein, featuring a shirtless Atsumu from a very close perspective. At first, you keep on scrolling, too flustered at the sudden revealing picture, but curiosity makes you go back after a few moments, and you look at the picture again.

He looks good. His muscles are well-defined and he grins seductively for the camera while he poses, clad in only a ripped pair of jeans. It's almost unfair how ridiculously attractive he looks, but you still think that he looks even better when he's just woken up, just like he did this morning. You exhale loudly and curiously click on the comments.

"I would pay real money to have him like this in my bed." "Christmas came early this year- and so did I." "Bless the Miya genes. I'd gladly help to spread them." "Thank you Calvin Klein. I'll make sure to get a pair of these pants." "*FAINTS* HE'S SO HOT, I CAN'T-"

You're startled when you notice how the comments get even more unhinged and shameless as you keep on scrolling. "He... has a lot of fans," you remark, scrolling back to the top and handing Yachi her phone back, to which she nods heavily. "He had his own fan club in high school, and ever since the Japanese team won the Olympics, the whole team has been very popular. Especially Atsumu-san and Sakusa-san."

You hesitate before asking the next question, uncertain of what the answer might bring. "Is there a reason why he's single? He seems like a decent guy, looks good, and he's probably rich. Isn't he the perfect catch?"

Yachi furrows her brows, thinking. "I don't know, actually. It's probably the same as with Hinata and Kageyama. They focus a lot on their careers; they simply don't have time for dating. I also found out that most volleyball boys can be a bit... intense. It's probably hard to find a partner that understands their passion. They prioritize training over anything else. I've never seen Hinata skip a day of training, no matter what happens. Their partners must accept that they put a lot of their energy and time into their jobs."

"Ah," you simply nod, slightly surprised by the revelation. You would have assumed that they have a very lively dating life, but it seems like they just live for work. Sounds a bit lonely.

"I also think that some fans are a bit obsessed with their private lives. There was an incident before with Atsumu-san and one of their fans- but things have calmed down lately, so you should be fine." Yachi reassures you, reaching for a cookie on the couch table.

"I think that—" she is interrupted by the sudden sound of a ringing phone, and both of you exchange confused glances before realizing it's your phone. Yachi's eyes light up, and she squeals, "Maybe it's him—I mean, I could have gotten his number through Hinata, but maybe he's got some news—"

You fumble with the phone, the unknown number undoubtedly belonging to Atsumu. Taking a deep breath, you nod at her and hold the phone to your ear, answering the call with a simple,

"Hello?"

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #here you go!!#finally a friend of y/n! <3 #she has some more and you'll meet them soon too!#and you'll find out more about y/n in the next chapter #but don't worry I'll keep it as vague as possible!#ANYWAYS! I'll try to post another chapter this week #but it might take until monday T.T #I'll do my best though!#I'm eager to post the next few parts #and to finally come to the smut #it will take a bit though T.T #and let's not forget about the incoming drama~#ugh I have to get up soon for work T.T #I'm not ready T.T #it's gonna be a long weekend full of work #I hope everyone can relax a bit more #LOVE YA! <3 #BTW #I had such a hard time finding out how Yachi calls Hinata and all the other guys #She started by calling Hinata Hinata-kun but in the end she calls him Hinata #same with Kageyama #I'll just assume that she calls the others with -san #except for...#you might have already noticed who she's on first name base with~ that will be important maybe so keep that in mind~ <3

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ruumirmir · 3 months

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𝙰 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎'𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞, T𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 Part I Part II (coming soon)

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - Haha what if I pretended my shamelessly OCfied male reader was a character :))) Here's to me doing everything possible to build up my "reader" lore. Everything except actually drawing and naming him 😭 If you're curious about previous posts regarding my mans, you could skim over These!! Me when writing this: im gonna make up SO MUCH BULLSHIT about snezhnaya and the other harbingers.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 : ENG - Stephen Fu (Noe Archiviste from Vanitas no Carte) JP - Kento Ito (Dan Heng from Honkai Star Rail)

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 : October 19

𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Northland Bank of the Fatui

𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Hydro

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Cygnus Venatici (The Hunting Swan)

A senior branch manager of Snezhnaya’s Northland bank. As a fatuus, he is formally well-known as the Venator Dux, who mans the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange founded by the Ninth Harbinger. He hunts in pursuit of the Tsar's vision, but his loyalties are far removed from her.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦-𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 Ah, the renowned traveller, in the flesh. A visitor to each of the seven nations, while your reputation has run across the continent twice over. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you've heard of the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange, that'd be me who's in charge of it. I am one of the agents within Lord Regrator's primary circle of officials, so you may address me as Venator dux.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 I've been in my respective position for over a decade now, and for the last 3 - 4 years have come across choice tales surrounding your name. A big fan of your work, really! Lord Regrator has had his interest piqued for a while now... so for the sake of civilized peace and alliance, let's get along... shall we? Try not to cause any trouble and I might consider putting in a good word for you.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘋𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘴 A large bulk of my work is centered around days of scrawling pen over paper... but really, one can only digest hefty documents for so long. I've had my fill for many years on end-... now, I'd prefer to partake in more physical tasks.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 I fear the new batch of rookies are growing too lax in their combat training… perhaps it was my uninspiring teaching method today. As a Venator, it simply won’t do to disappoint them. Traveller, would you help a man out and join the session today? The trainees could do with a fresh perspective on things.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

No shelter to be seen... here's to praying that you don't catch a cold. Oh don't worry about me, I seldom get sick.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 I've always wondered how the real clap of thunder would feel in comparison to a shock of electro. Unless you want to volunteer for that, watch your step.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘚𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 Eh... I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. That being said, the nights that are covered in an impossibly slow curtain of snowfall are some of the rarer times I stop to admire it.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘯 𝘐𝘴 𝘖𝘶𝘵 Finally. Some real warmth to my face. I am but a simple man, languishing like a wilted flower in the absence of our sun's blazing gaze.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 Actually... I think I might just prefer the miserable winter cold over this.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘐𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 What's with the aggressive breeze today? Does the Anemo archon have bills to pay?

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Good morning. I was about to stop by the city lake on my way to the bank and feed the local geese. You can come along if you'd like. Keep your distance from Tatiana though. She bites.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯 On a slow lazy day, I'd be waking up around noon. Fortunately, the weekend is right around the corner, so I can do just that.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Although the Northland "bank" closes to the public by evening, the building itself stays open till midnight for other classified affairs. So I may as well make the most of my break time before I'm needed again.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 Oh, I must've lost track of time. It's quite late into the night, so before I go, let me walk you back to whatever establishment you're staying at... Oh, uh- I'm... not sure I heard you correctly. You said you live... inside... a teapot...?

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘚𝘯𝘦𝘻𝘩𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 It was the very first decree of order at the hands of Lord Regrator when he came into power as a Harbinger many years ago; to inaugurate a faction dedicated to rearing the potential he painstakingly carved into the foundations of the Northland bank. It is just as the name implies. An executive body responsible for developing economic policies and providing regulation, consulting, and forecasting of socioeconomic and business development, ranging from simple roadside shops to production factories-Oh, have I lost you? Haha... don't apologize, I've seen that expression a couple times before. In simple terms: we help run the nation's cycle of mora, trade system, and citizen’s businesses.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘵 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] The title bestowed upon me, Venator Dux, signifies not just leadership but mastery over a successful hunt- or in some cases, a successful business strategy. The master hunter requires a discerning eye, a mind that can decipher the intricate patterns woven by our adversaries. Information is our ammunition, and knowledge is the silent arrow that strikes before the prey even realizes the hunt has begun.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘳𝘵𝘴 Various forms of dance and song are the lifeblood of Snezhnaya’s festivals. During fall, you’ll find multiple dance troupes and clowns passing each village, town, and city to perform. I personally look forward to the dancers.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘓𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Your little companion has stuck with you since day one? Truly? That is… a highly admirable trait, one that I will always stand by. Loyalty is not a mere pledge, it anticipates the unspoken desires of another; a commitment that transcends the superficial bonds of allegiance. I keep this ideal close to my heart... for only a single person.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 I was hesitant to use a delusion in the first place, so frankly, I’m glad to have been gifted this for whatever reason I was found worthy of. However… Lord Regrator harbours an uncanny dislike for my vision. It’s not something that has been brought up, but I can read between the lines.

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 You didn’t hear it from me, but I encourage the employees at the bank to keep a list of all the infuriating and rude customers. It’s to spice up all the sparring and combat practice sessions by naming and dressing up the dummies as people they’d like to kick- Ha!

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 This wintry climate is harsh and unsustainable for various flora and fauna. The Charmomila flower doesn’t care about any of that. They’ll grow in obnoxious places if they want to. The real deal comes from the summer butterflies that feast on its nectar. After a while their wings turn a beautiful honey-yellow, which are harvested and brewed into the sweetest and most expensive nonalcoholic beverage you’ll find around here. I enjoy a glass of one semi-regularly on work mornings.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] He will have my sincere respect, always. Lord Regrator has built his empire up from a scratch in the dirt, something impossible to do were he a lesser man. His sacrifices of blood, sweat, and tears has bled into the policies that the bank stands on today. Money breeds imbalance and power, which in turn grants freedom and recognition if you are on the right side of the coin. Regrator is a utilizing man and he guards what’s his, zealously. He will take and take until his arms sag with the weight, and uphold his promise to give out the correct equivalents because he lets his value of fair exchange lead him like a vice. For as long as he stays true to his greed, I will be the hand that reaches forward to grasp what he desires.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Lord Regrator expects a strict level of decorousness from everyone working under his name- from me to even the most forgotten grunts. It's nothing outrageous of course. You would only ever see the metaphorical boot-licking than a literal one. I find it a bit much sometimes but the public eye is nothing to scoff at. Especially to a man of his status. The Snezhnayan dvoryane make up more than a third of the Northland Bank's clientele- not to mention the stakes a couple of them have invested. And if there is anything that those feather-headed fools care about, it's posh theatrics. *Sigh* Still... I quite enjoy falling in step with Pantalone's politesse. He has a beautiful manner of speech that I've never been able to measure up to.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘎𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] …Why do I feel like you’re trying to fish for critical information...? Fine- I'll concede. It's your head on the line anyways. Lord Regrator is a big player in the system of underground businesses that connect Nathan and Snezhnaya. Technically it could be called a black market, but it’s mainly run by a small council of social elites from both nations. There are occasional hosted auctions, that my lord targets to buy out priceless artifacts from. I’m talking about lost pieces of history and endangered caged beasts over items with resell value. Now… with that being said, as long as this secret remains safe… so do you. It’s always me who’s dispatched to make sure it stays that way.

#➳❥ Ooh Lover Boy #pantalone #genshin #genshin impact #fatui #fatui harbingers #pantalone genshin #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #pantalone x reader #pantalone x male reader #genshin impact fatui #➳❥ Rumour writes #➳❥ rumour says #genshin imagines

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shenachigans · 1 year

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LOST YOU | Natasha Romanoff

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

CW: angst no comfort, mentions of cheating (Nat), implied that Nat has a cock, implied WandaNat, pregnancy (Wanda)

PROMPT: 44 — “I need you to tell me the truth” Prompt pt. 3

A/N: Trying to cure my writer’s block by using prompts (I have no idea what I wrote, kindly excuse this mess). First time writing for Nat. Let’s just say vision was human and can impregnate for more drama. We love drama. *wink wink*

A/N (4/3/23): I added a paragraph or so to make it seem that the baby is Nat’s, which means I debunked the whole “Vision is human and can impregnate” thing where we don’t know if the baby was Vision’s or Nat’s, but it was clear from the beginning that it’s Nat’s huhu.

WORDS: 1,721

Lost You — Pt. II

(FANFIC IS UNDER THE CUT!)

“I need you to tell me the truth,” you croaked out as you tried to hold your ground from breaking down in front of her, but the crack in your voice ruined your facade. You can’t keep letting her get away with things, not anymore. You’re tired and drained. You couldn’t do this anymore, for your sake. You didn’t want to hate her, even when you should, considering she had been hurting you. “You can’t keep lying to me, Nat. ”

Natasha expected to see you sitting in the middle or at the edge of your shared bed, doing something to occupy yourself as you waited for her to retire to your shared chambers, but she wasn’t expecting this. She wasn’t expecting the usually prim and proper room littered with clothes and your luggage—and you, putting your clothes away, your back facing her. You shakily breathe, “How long have you been seeing her?” She hesitantly walked toward you, heels clacking against the wooden floor with each step. “What are you talking about, detka—”

You interrupted her with a scoff when you turned to face her with a pained and angry expression, and she immediately shut up upon the sight. She always acts clueless for someone who could easily see through someone’s facade. You thought that it was pathetic of her to deflect what you said. “Don’t change the subject, Romanoff!” you hissed. Oh, you’re mad. “Stop lying and tell me the truth! You know what I’m talking about.”

Only when she saw your glistening eyes with unshed tears that she realizes what you said. Her stomach churned, and her heart dropped. Natasha balled her fists, and her eyes widened, but she refused to look at you and deemed that the floor was suddenly more interesting to look at. Regardless, she reluctantly nodded, indicating that she would tell you the truth. Her eyes pooled with unshed tears as a wave of regret and guilt washed over her. She got caught—right before she could end things with her.

“How long?” Nat shivered at your tone. Her eyes flickered to yours and caught a glimpse of your expression before you turned away and continued gathering your things. It was emotionless—dead—and it was because of her. She flinched when you repeated your question with more context, more daggers through your heart as you emphasized that word. “How long have you been cheating on me? With Wanda?”

“Two—” Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, and it felt like she had digested a bitter pill. She cringed at her words. “O-Only two months.” You closed your eyes, and your dam of tears shattered. Your cheeks stung as salty droplets cascaded down your skin. ‘Only two months’? Three years of marriage down the drain because of a sixty-day affair? Nat saw you tremble and put a hand on your mouth to keep yourself from sobbing, but it didn’t work. She wanted to hold you in her arms but knew it would only worsen the situation.

“WHY?!” you snapped, turning around to face her again. Your eyes and cheeks were red as tears continued to roll down your face. “Was I not good enough? Did I not please you enough? I gave you everything! I gave you my soul and body to use as you pleased, so why?!” You saw that Natasha was silently crying but was trying to stop herself from doing so. You knew the answer, but you carried on regardless.

You weren’t giving her enough attention because of your demanding work as a doctor and she was an Avenger, both needed by the world, but you gave her everything when you could. Natasha just needed more, but you weren’t there when she needed you, so she found someone else: her fellow Avenger who had just lost Vision. It was supposed to be a one or two-time affair for meaningless sex, but the ex-assassin kept returning to her, even when you were free from work. She was going to end things before she lost you, but she was too late.

“Does she have something I don’t?” Natasha denies it. “Does she let you use her better than I do?” She denies it. “Does she make you happier than I do?” She denies it. “Then why did you not choose me over her?” She doesn’t answer, and you sigh, running your hands through your face before placing a hand on your chest as you mutter, “I’M YOUR WIFE, FOR FUCKING SAKE, NATASHA!” The word ‘wife’ triggered her to fall to her knees and watch as you sat at the edge of the bed in frustration, hand holding your face as more tears ran down your face. “You could’ve told me you wanted more. I would’ve given everything up to make you happy. You just needed to tell me, not her…”

You were a sobbing mess because of Nat, and it greatly pained her how badly she had hurt you. She doesn’t even know why she keeps coming back to her because you are the one she loves, not her. Natasha shuffled on her knees before you, gently grabbing your wrists as she pressed her forehead against yours, mumbling, “I’m sorry,” over, and over again. You had so many unanswered questions, but the answers will only add more daggers to your bleeding heart. You couldn’t take more pain, not when a bullet of news had pierced your heart hours ago. “Divorce papers are coming in a few days,” you sniffled. “I don’t want anything; just leave me be.” You didn’t want this. You didn’t want to leave her, but you couldn’t stay.

The ex-assassin’s eyes widened at your statement. You’re leaving her. She doesn’t want to lose you. You were the greatest thing that had happened to her, but she overlooked the fact and messed up. “No, no, no, no,” she rambled. “Please, let me make things right. Give me another chance. Please. I can’t lose you, Y/n.” Natasha’s tone was genuine. You looked at her eyes, and they were begging you to stay and forgive her, but you couldn’t. A cheater will always be a cheater.

“Wanda revealed your affair and begged for my forgiveness this morning, begging me to forgive you and that it was her fault for causing this mess.” You bitterly chuckled. “I was going to give you one more chance because I love you… but she’s with a child.” Your future ex-wife’s eyes widened when you uttered the words she feared. Her worst fear about her two-month fling came true, but she couldn’t accept it. “T-There must be a mistake!” Nat’s eyes were pleading that it was false news. “It can’t be my child!”

As much as Natasha hurt you for cheating and getting someone else pregnant, it pained you to see the horrified expression on her face. You wanted to hold her in your arms, but it will only keep you from leaving. “The only one she was ever with when she lost Vision was you,” you trailed off and reluctantly cupped her face, making her flinch and tighten her hold on your wrists. “Vision is a robot, Nat. He can’t physically have children with Wanda even if they wanted to…” Natasha wanted to cut you off, to shut you up from speaking, but she was too broken and in shock to do anything, making you say your words to slap her in the face with a reality check; “The baby is yours.”

You felt her hands tremble, and your lap was damp with her tears. You didn’t want to stay with a cheater, even if you loved her with all your heart. You can’t be mad—you weren’t mad— just sad and disappointed at yourself for not making her happy. You deserved this. “I can’t stay, Natalia, even if I wanted to.” The older woman cried, tears gushing down her face and pleading with you that she can make this work like how it was before when nothing was wrong, “W-Wanda isn’t in the right emotional state to carry a child, she’s still grieving a-and, and and she wouldn't want to raise a child she doesn’t even want—”

“She wishes to keep the child, Nat… I let her,” you tenderly, yet sadly, smiled as you pressed your forehead against hers. The room was filled with questions about why you approved Wanda’s selfish request. You let another woman carry your wife’s child, but that's the thing, Natasha was soon to be your ex-wife. While it hurt you that Wanda wanted to keep the child, you realized that the child had nothing to do with breaking your relationship with Nat. It was Natasha’s own actions, as well as yours, that led to this situation. You knew Wanda was grieving Vision’s loss, and you hoped her baby would bring her comfort and help her have a breakthrough. Natasha hated how you were always so selfless, willing to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s happiness.

“Don’t leave me, Y/n, please. I can make this work, I’ll cherish you, I love you—please—” Natasha sobbed, and you felt her tears sting your tear-stained-cheeks. She knew that you wanted the child to grow up in a healthy family, which means you had to be out of the picture so they wouldn’t grow up feeling that they were a mistake and ruined a relationship that wouldn’t work out anyway. You want them to feel loved, to be surrounded by the people who raised them. You’re leaving because you love Natasha and you consider her child as your own, but she doesn’t want to lose you.

You let go of her face to leave, but Nat’s immediate vice grip around you prevented you from doing so. She got up from the floor and fell onto you, pressing her body against yours as your back collided with the mattress. She prevented you from leaving by tackling you into a hug, straddling your waist as her arms wrapped around your torso. The ex-assassin was stronger than you, so trying to get out of her grip would be futile. You reluctantly wrapped your arms around her neck as tears started to run down your face again, mirroring her. Natasha’s sobs and another wave of apologies filled the room. You let her hold you for the last time because she knew she truly had lost you.

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verai-marcel · 4 months

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Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 16 of ?)

Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.

Act II - Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

AO3 Link is here, my dear.

Word Count: 4275

————————————

Act II, Chapter 4 - The Portal

The next morning, Karlach was sitting at the campfire, waiting very impatiently for you to wake up.

“C’mon, c’mon! Let’s go see if Dammon can fix up my engine!”

You smiled at her. She was like a kid in her excitement. Getting up and throwing on your day clothes, you left camp in a rush, pulling on your gloves as you went.

“Why do you always wear those gloves outside of camp?” she asked.

You shrugged. “Habit.”

Karlach looked at you, tipping her head to get you to continue. You ignored her.

“Alright. Keep your secrets.”

“I will, thank you,” you said with a grin.

Dammon was waving to the two of you as you arrived at the forge. He explained what he had done, and how Karlach needed to install the piece.

You watched with academic interest as she opened up her chest and installed the insulating chamber to her heart engine.

“Did… did it work?” she asked as she stared at her hands.

“Only one way to find out.” Dammon held up a hand. “Go on. Give us your hand.”

Tentatively, Karlach reached out to him. Slowly, she placed her palm against his.

He didn’t burn. He only smiled at her. “Damn. I’m good. And you… you’re very touchable.”

You held back a snicker.

Karlach looked at you. “I can touch people again!” Her face was lit up like a summer sky, her happiness filling you with so much joy that it overflowed your heart. Unable to help yourself, you leapt up and gave her a big hug.

Laughing and squealing with cheer, she swung you around a few times, easily holding you up like you weighed as much as a feather.

“I can’t wait to hug everyone!” she cried out.

“Wait,” Dammon said, his face turning serious. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

***

Walking back to camp, you glanced over at Karlach, who was clearly processing Dammon’s news. You didn’t know what else to do, other than hold her hand the whole way back. You had your gloves on so you couldn’t pry into her emotions, but you could tell from her expression that she was quickly digesting it and moving on.

I’m not sure that’s healthy for her emotionally, but maybe she’s handling it better than I would have.

“Who are you going to hug first?” you asked, hopefully getting her mind off of her future for the time being.

“I don’t know…” She tapped her chin. “Although it’d be real funny if I hugged Lae’zel first!”

As the two of you entered camp, hand in hand, you noted everyone’s reaction.

Gale did a comically exaggerated double take. Really? He’s such a dork sometimes.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart raised an eyebrow. Those two are more alike than they realize.

Astarion glanced at your joined hands and smirked. Oh, I bet he’s got loads of quips in his head right now.

And Wyll smiled and immediately came up to the two of you, holding out his arms. You let go of Karlach and not so subtly pushed her towards him.

He picked her up and held her tightly. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

Karlach and Wyll seemed like they were in their own world, so you walked past them quietly to get breakfast made. As they finally joined everyone at the campfire, she told everyone about her heart and her future choices.

“But we’ll worry about that when the time comes,” she said when she saw the concerned looks on some of their faces. “For now, let’s figure out what’s goin’ on with these tadpoles in our heads. Then I can go home.”

They planned to head to a mausoleum in the old ruined town south of the inn called Reithwin town. You bundled up some snacks for them and wished them luck.

***

A little past midday, you saw a familiar face.

“Arabella?”

You recalled the little tiefling girl from the party, where her parents had been coddling her and profusely thanking the group for rescuing her. The fact that she was here alone did not bode well.

The base of your spine tingled. It felt cold.

Oh no. This isn't good.

She told you that the others had saved her from the shadow cursed while she was looking for her parents. They had told her they would look for them.

You glanced up at Withers, who subtly shook his head.

Godsdammit.

“Well, while you wait for them, why don't you come help me with some chores?”

She shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

***

Arabella soon grew bored of helping with your chores, as most children do, and split her time between playing with the animals and bothering Withers with inane questions. You eventually took her to the inn to play with the other tiefling children while you helped out around the building.

After a few hours, you saw the party return, Halsin leading with an old, battered lute in hand. He headed straight for the room where the Flaming Fist were staying. He looked determined, an elf on a mission.

You fell in step with the others and followed him, wanting to see what had gotten the usually calm archdruid into such a state.

Halsin held out the lute to the semi-conscious man on the bed, talking softly with him. The man didn’t seem to respond, and even strumming a few strings didn’t do much beyond getting his focus for a few brief moments before he fell into delirium once more.

What if…

You quietly backed away from the group and went to the bar.

“Alfira!”

She turned to you. “Yes, what is it?”

“Could you come help us? We need someone who can play a lute.”

She grinned. “Well, I might know someone.”

Returning to Halsin with the bard in tow, you tapped him on the arm and gestured towards Alfira. “Can she play?”

He nodded and smiled at you. “Great idea.” Handing the lute over to the tiefling, he stepped back and allowed her to stand beside the bed. After listening to his broken song for a few minutes, she began to play the same song on the lute.

You watched as the man, who you learned was named Art Cullagh, slowly came back to the present, his fragmented mind reconnecting the dots of reality with each strum of the lute. When he sat up, looking around at everyone with clarity in his gaze, Alfira handed back the lute to him and wished him well before excusing herself.

“Thank you,” you called out to her as she left.

“Any time,” she replied as she smiled at you.

You turned back to the conversation before you, learning about the next steps in Halsin’s quest to save Thaniel.

“A portal?”

Halsin nodded. He turned to everyone. “Whenever you are all ready to help, I can summon a portal and get Thaniel out of the Shadowfell. But I’ll need your help to guard it. If the enemy comes and shatters the portal before I return…”

He didn’t need to elaborate. Everyone nodded.

As they all began to head out of the building and back to camp, you spoke up. I have to confirm, even though I'm pretty sure Withers was right. “Did… did you find Arabella’s parents?”

When all of their faces fell, you knew they had. And it wasn’t good.

“No!”

You turned around to see that Arabella had been eavesdropping.

Dammit, I thought she was with the other children.

She looked to be on the verge of tears. “I saw you all, so I came to ask… But… it can’t be. No! I refuse to believe it!” Taking off in a sprint, she left the building faster than you could speak up.

Chasing after her, you saw her taking the path back to camp. A bit relieved, you followed her, keeping her in sight, making sure that she made it back safely. The rest of the party followed at a more sedate pace.

Reaching the campsite, you saw that the girl was sitting with her arms around her knees, staring out at the water next to Withers. Looking at his stone-faced expression, you only shared a nod before turning away, letting her process the news.

You went about your usual chores, mending and cleaning while letting the stew pot do its thing, but in the back of your mind, you wondered if you could repeat your off-the-cuff cooking cantrip that you had accidentally sang in the Grymforge. While part of you enjoyed letting the food slowly simmer and accumulate its flavor, you knew that the others were probably hungry.

Dropping off the pile of armor and clothes to be cleaned next to your bedroll, you took off your gloves and went up to the pot and stared at it.

Alright, here goes.

Your hands hovered over the simmering water as you hummed, trying to remember exactly what you had done last time. Knowing that it wasn’t quite right, you still managed to make something happen as greenish-yellow lines sprung from your fingers, and you weaved a spell with your voice.

Dropping the magical web down onto the pot, you were surprised to suddenly see the simmering water go eerily still.

You peered into the pot curiously.

A tingle shot through your spine, and you reared your head back just as a fountain of stew shot from the pot, steaming and boiling in the air before landing straight back in, liquid splashing over the sides and scalding your hands. You hissed in pain.

Shadowheart called your name as she rushed over. Taking your hands, she cast a light heal on you.

“Careful, that nearly hit you in the face,” she said, taking a handkerchief and wiping the stew off your skin.

You smiled at her, a bit embarrassed at how badly your spell had backfired. “I know. Thank you.” You glanced over at your stew. “It… might be done?”

It smelled good. You grabbed the ladle from where it had landed on the ground, cleaned it with magic, and tasted the stew. “Yup, it’s done.”

“A dangerous way to make dinner faster,” Gale commented. “But effective nonetheless.”

“You could market that as dinner and a show,” Wyll joked.

Rolling your eyes, you started to serve up the meal.

Afterward, everyone began to prepare for the next day. Sharpening weapons, sparring with each other, reading up on spells… You finished with everyone’s clothes and set them by their tents as usual before heading over to Halsin, who was staring out across the water, deep in thought. You were worried for him most of all.

“Halsin,” you said quietly, reaching up to touch his arm. He felt determined, unshakeable as a mighty tree. Yet there was a hint of fear, but it didn’t seem to be for him. “How are you feeling?”

He turned to you, a gentle smile on his features. “I won't lie, I am a bit nervous. Traveling into the Shadowfell is no easy task. I’ve studied for years, beseeching the Oak Father for his blessing. I pray that we will have his favor come morning.”

You nodded. “I’m hoping that everything goes smoothly. Who will go with you?”

“I must go alone.”

You gasped. “What? Why?”

“The portal is maintained with my power, and the more people that go into it, the more it will drain me. If I’m to have a chance at finding Thaniel and bring him home, I need to go in with as much strength as possible.”

You nodded. That made sense. “So everyone else will be defending the portal?”

“Yes. The moment it opens, the shadow-cursed will swarm it, trying to destroy it. If they succeed…”

He didn’t need to say more. You reached for his hand and held it tight. “I trust our friends. They’ll make sure you come back safely.” You smiled. “And I’ll make sure there’s a nice meal waiting for you when you return.”

He smiled back. “That’s more than enough incentive to return.” Halsin let go of your hand and held his arms out for a hug, and you gladly let him wrap his big arms around you.

“You’re stronger than you know,” he murmured.

You pulled back, observing the knowing look in his gaze. “What do you know that I don’t?”

He grinned. “There’s a power inside of you, older than even me, and I’m more than three centuries old. I can’t quite place it, but it’s there, within you. You just need to learn how to harness it.”

Frowning, you instinctively reached for your back, but quickly pretended to scratch your shoulder instead. “If you say so,” you said, putting your hands in your lap and wringing them together. He must be sensing something else, not actual power. I’ve never done anything other than cantrips.

He patted you on the head, and you felt a fondness, like a big brother ruffling your hair. “One day, little witch. You’ll find your magic.”

***

Returning to camp, you rolled Halsin’s words around in your head, but they made zero sense.

An old power? Inside me? Maybe he’s sensing the seal my mother placed on me. There’s nothing else it could be.

You tried to put together the pieces of knowledge that you knew from what your mother had told you. You had an eladrin ancestor somewhere in the past, it was why your ears were a bit pointy. An eclectic form of magic, based solely on song, was what you had learned from your mother, who had learned it from hers, and so on and so forth, passed down through the generations.

From your father, you had learned a bit about the different planes. Baator, Shadowfell, Feywild, the Astral Sea, and their denizens. You had never really thought about why your father, so learned in these things, was living in a small village in the middle of nowhere, but you were thankful for the knowledge. If not for his random lessons while you were growing up, you would have never known about the githyanki, devils, demons, pixies, and other extraplanar beings.

It has to be the seal. It must be some kind of ancient spell she put on me. But for what purpose? Other than giving me weird premonitions.

Perhaps it was a protection spell? It had certainly saved you from bodily injury a few times at this point.

You had been in your head so thoroughly that you had walked past your bedroll and towards the other side of camp, your foot nearly stepping off the shoreline and into the murky water. You stepped backwards and felt a presence at your back.

“Still can’t sense a damn thing, can you?”

You turned to see Astarion smirking at you.

Godsdammit, can’t you come talk to me like a normal person? “Can I help you?”

“You’ve already helped me plenty, my dear,” he said. He pulled out his dagger, gesturing towards yours on your belt. “I’m returning the favor.”

You sighed. “Alright. Go easy on me.”

Pulling out your dagger, you attacked, a clumsy lunge, a graceless swing. For five minutes, he effortlessly deflected every one of your strikes.

Then he began to hum.

Confused, you continued to attack. There was no power in his song, but somehow, he seemed to be even more nimble as he dodged and spun away from your flimsy attempts to stab him.

“Your turn,” he finally said.

“Huh?”

“Hum something while you attack.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Just indulge me.”

Sighing, you thought of a faster tempo song and began to hum. Focusing on the song while striking at him over and over, you stopped thinking, and started to just act and react on instinct. Like the flow of a melody, you slashed, parried, jabbed, and finally, felt like you had made progress when you grabbed Astarion’s wrist, twisted his arm, and dipped in close, pointing your blade at his throat.

“Not bad,” he said, beads of sweat slowly dripping down his forehead.

Then you felt a tapping on your belly. You looked down to see his other hand, wielding a second, shorter dagger, pointed at your gut.

“But I would have eviscerated you before you got this close.” He tapped the flat edge of the dagger against your belt.

Sighing in defeat, you stepped away from him and put your dagger back into its sheath. “Well, at least I got closer.”

“Did music help?”

You nodded. “Yes. I… I hadn’t thought of that. It was like I stopped overthinking about my next move and just reacted.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, patting your head. You felt that fondness, but it was different from what you had felt with Halsin. This one seemed like…

No. There’s no way.

You pulled away, tired of getting mixed messages. “Thank you for helping me,” you said quietly as you glanced back at your bedroll. “I’d better get some sleep.” You started to turn away.

“Wait.”

You turned back to him. “Yes?”

“I…” He paused for a moment. “Tomorrow morning. We’ll be helping with this”—he gestured dismissively—“portal thing.”

“I heard.”

“So…” He looked up at you and then looked away, clearing his throat. “Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll be hungry when I return.”

You smiled. You miscommunicating idiot. “I’ll keep that in mind.” On a whim, you stepped up to him and patted him on the head, the same way he did to you. “Stay safe, kitty cat.”

He caught your hand and held it close to his chest. His gaze bore into you, two scarlet irises focused fully on you. “You do the same, kitten.”

Thrown off by his intensity, you blinked and backed away, pulling your hand gently from his grasp and smiling to hide your sudden nerves. “Of course. Good night.”

“Sweet dreams, darling,” he said, but you were already heading towards your bedroll.

I’m not running away. I’m not.

***

The next morning, everyone headed off to a small rock outcropping that was just outside of Isobel’s barrier. You went to the inn to help out with laundry and potion making, since a shipment of goods had just arrived, and many of the guards had been injured to get the shipment here.

As the day progressed, you could tell something was wrong. The tingling at the base of your spine was growing stronger with every passing minute. In the past, a tingling would just make your mind churn with anxiety, and you usually calmed down after distracting yourself with some chores. That was before you began having these stronger inklings, and their strength kept increasing as you spent more time with your companions.

This time, the feeling would not go away, even after peeling all of the potatoes in the galley.

You stepped out of the Last Light Inn, your gaze turning north towards the spot where Halsin had opened the portal. You weren’t sure how things were going, but your heart kept telling you to go have a look.

Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll be hungry when I return.

You knew it was his roundabout way of telling you to stay safe and hidden away.

Your seal kept tingling. Fine, I’ll just go take a peek.

As you made your way over to the edge of the shield, your heart began to drop. Shadows and the shadow-cursed were swarming a shining portal, covered in crackling lightning. And in front of the portal, the party was fighting desperately, defending it to the last.

You could tell that the spellcasters were down to only cantrips, their power weakening as they grew exhausted. The fighters kept swinging their weapons, but the sheer number of enemies was forcing them back, step by step.

You didn’t see Astarion, and started to peer around, looking for him. It wasn’t until Karlach made a big shove, forcing two shadow-cursed away from her, that you could see a bit beyond. On the ground in the front of the portal, you saw one pale elf, clutching his side.

Your feet began to move before your mind caught up. As soon as you left the safety of the shield, you could feel the shadow curse filling your lungs, but you didn’t care. You had to get to the group.

You had to get to him.

Claws of darkness scratched you as you passed, lines of crimson leaking into your clothes as you took cut after cut. But you pushed through and to everyone’s surprise, made it to the top of the rock overlook.

“What are you doing here?” Karlach yelled as she grabbed your arm and practically tossed you behind her.

You paid her no mind. Immediately kneeling down where Astarion lay, you pulled up your sleeve, exposing one of the deeper cuts on your arm, and forced it into his mouth.

“Drink, dammit,” you cried.

The sounds of the battle behind you became muted as you watched his eyelids flutter. His lips moved, and then through sheer instinct, he latched onto your wound and began to drink. You winced at the sharp pain of his fangs penetrating your skin, the pull of blood into his mouth. But after half a minute, he let you go and opened his eyes.

“You idiot,” he rasped as he sat up. He looked terrible, wounds on every limb, claw marks raking his chest.

“I know,” you replied, and slowly stood up, turning to the shadows.

In the back of your mind, you had a thought.

Closing your eyes, diving into your memories, you recalled that specific song from your mother, the one she had only taught you phonetically. A melody to shield against the long cold nights, a hymn that traveled beyond Evermeet, beyond the Trackless Sea.

It was a song you had sung a thousand times, and nothing had ever happened. But you felt that maybe, just maybe, something would happen if you just sang it one more time.

What if it doesn't work? It's never done anything before.

But it has to. I need it to work.

Taking a deep breath, you imagined a barrier, much like the silvery shield of Isobel, and began to sing.

As if the world suddenly paused, the sounds of battle quieted. You weren’t sure if it was because you were so focused on your song, but it sounded as if the hordes of the undead were moving farther and farther away.

You opened your eyes. A golden aura was before you, pushing back the darkness, giving the others a chance to breathe as the shadow creatures slammed against the shield. With one particularly strong hit, you felt one of your cuts bloom in pain, a burning slice into your skin, and you gasped in agony.

The shield crackled and began to fade.

Oh shit.

Ignoring the pain, you sang, and sang, and sang, until the barrier grew strong and bright once more. Until your voice was hoarse and your throat was raw. Until you felt like you were being flayed alive with each strike, the shield taking its power directly from your body. Your cuts bled, the searing pain intensifying with each passing lyric. But you would not, could not stop your song. It flowed out of you like water over a cliff, unstoppable.

Until finally from behind you, the portal crackled and shattered. You felt a familiar presence behind you.

“Well done,” Halsin said.

Smiling, you ended the song on a single triumphant note.

The shadow cursed had disappeared, and vestiges of the enemy lay around a golden perimeter that slowly faded as the barrier created by your song faded away. You felt exhausted, but also elated. You had helped.

The others turned to you, and they all immediately gave you a strange look.

“What?” you croaked.

Astarion tipped his head towards your reflection in the water. “Take a look at yourself.”

You walked to the edge of the water and gasped. Your ears had grown pointier. Your skin had become tawny brown, and your hair had turned into waves of auburn red, streaked with strands of gold and orange. And your eyes, gods, they glowed like the setting sun. You looked as if the whole of the autumn season had manifested in you.

As your magic faded, you began to look like yourself again, but the image was burned into your memory.

The last memory of your mother as she sang this exact song, her form looking exactly like one of the legends she had told you as a child: The autumn form of the fey eladrin, the folk from the feywilds who spoke and sang in Sylvan, the predecessor of Elvish.

You turned back to the others. There were smiles all around, but you could tell they were definitely tired. Shadowheart pulled out the last arcane potion from her belt and quickly drank it.

“Vos cura!”

A blue glow suffused the area around the group, and everyone felt their wounds heal somewhat.

Except for you. You felt nothing except for Astarion’s bite mark heal on your arm. Curious.

“Let’s head back to camp,” Gale announced, hovering next to Shadowheart, his eyes assessing her condition. “We could all use a rest.”

The others began to walk away with Halsin, who was carrying the boy in his arms. Only Astarion remained by your side, guarding you. He held out his arm to you, as if he was escorting you to a ball.

You smiled. It was a kind gesture, and though you knew he did it to be playful, you also knew that he wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t care.

You reached out for him.

Then your world tilted.

And everything went dark.

-------------------------

Chapter End Notes: I have been waiting and WAITING to post this chapter, I’ve had the portal portion written since chapter three, just infilling the story to get to this point. I’m so happy to finally share this chapter with you. I hope it was worth the wait! Let me know what you think in the comments!

And let me know if you want to be on the tag list so you get notified of the next chapter release! (I usually post on Thursday nights, but I may be delayed here and there because of that darn real life thing getting in the way)

Tag List: @numblytemporary @xalphafox @avitute @stormyjane7

#bg3 #bg3 fanfic #astarion #astarion x f!reader #baldur's gate 3 #female reader #writing #bg3 spoilers #your hearth is my home #cw: blood #cw: injury

38 notes · View notes

wannab-urs · 4 months

Text

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 28

Hello my darlings,

Welcome to TSD week 28! I read some stuff this week that is definitely going in my all time faves list, seriously. Y'all are amazing. I've got 14 fics for you this week!! (Joel Miller, Frankie/Santi, Ezra, Din Djarin, Dieter Bravo, Max Phillips, Frankie Morales, Dieter/Javi P, Marcus Pike, Javier Peña). Summaries and tags are author provided unless they didn't have them (then I did it myself).

As always you can find all my fic recs here and my masterlist here

Recs under the Baby Cow Eyes

Cosmic Oddities - Din/Joel series by fromthewhales (Ao3)

Summary: Turning a clan of two into a clan of four and asking the very important, albeit unhinged question: What if space dad and apocalypse dad were Weird About Each Other? (ed. note: this summary does not do this beautiful fic justice. READ IT). Tags: parental bonding, parallels, angst, everyone has issues, everyone needs a hug, touch starved din djarin, injuries, strangers to ??? to lovers, smashing the space western and the zombie western together like 2 ken dolls, trauma, crack-fic adjacent at times, hurt/comfort, soft not super explicit smut, self harm, found family, din djarin eventually removes the helmet, blindfold, long distance relationship, survivors guilt, angst with a happy ending, non sexual intimacy, it gets worse before it gets better, alcohol mention, game II canon divergent — but boy does it come close, canon typical violence, minor character death, major character injury, bi!joel miller, bi!din djarin

To be explored later - Frankie/Santi one shot by @legendary-pink-dot

Summary: You and your boyfriend Santi fuck his best friend Frankie and it's a little more MMF than you were expecting -- much to your delight Tags: Swearing, dirty talk, rough-ish sex, hair pulling, oral sex (m receiving), a couple of spanks, edging if you squint, also yearning m/m if you squint, unprotected PIV, snowballing, threesome, dom!Santi.

sweets for my sweet; sweets from my sweet - Ezra one shot by @tinytinymenace

Summary: you are a cook at an exploration camp and one of the miners asks you about Earth and brings you a treat Tags: Brief mentions of planet death (RIP Earth) and strained family dynamics but on balance this is soft.

Release Your Inhibitions - Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Summary: Shortly after revealing his face to you, Din’s worried about the faces he makes during sex, since he’s never had to worried about that before. You suggest something that might ease his worries; a blindfold. Tags: canon divergent, established relationship, Din is insecure and inexperienced, helmet comes off, blindfolding, oral sex (M receiving), vaginal sex, light biting, creampie, super romantic and loving sex, use of Mando’a words/phrases (Cyar’ika = sweetheart, Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum = I love you, Yooba solus mesh'la = You are beautiful), no use of y/n

Best in Show - Dieter one shot by @covetyou

Summary: The Academy Awards, the most well known, well planned, film award ceremony in the world. So why is the host missing? Tags: dual narrative, masturbation (m), voyuerism, drug reference (our boy is sober but struggling), subby Dieter, slight humiliation kink, very brief mentions of other sex acts (anal play, PIV, cum play), reader talks Dieter through a very nervy wank.

Still Bejeweled - Joel one shot by @janaispunk

Summary: after breaking up with your boyfriend, your self-esteem is crushed. your best friend takes you to your favorite bar to take your mind off of things. there's a band is playing there tonight and the singer immediately catches your eye. inspired by taylor swift's bejeweled – and when i meet the band, they ask, 'do you have a man?', i could still say, 'i don't remember' Tags: no/pre-outbreak au, no sarah, musician!joel, small age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel's in his mid 30s), reader is described as smaller than joel and has hair long enough to pull, a bit of angst, fluff, making out, fingering, dirty talk (joel talks you through it, i just know it), praise kink, unprotected p in v (i just didn't feel like mentioning it, this is my fantasy world where pregnancies & sti's don't exist, but they very much exist in the real world, don't do this), joel has a big dick (it's canon), consent king joel, rough sex, ass-slapping, hair-pulling

Negotiations - Max Phillips one shot by @prolix-yuy

Summary: Max Phillips never found marketing to be all that helpful. Hell, running an ad on Facebook was easy enough. But then you walked in the door and he knew he had to have you, in all the ways he could. Tags: T, descriptions of male and female bodies, some fantasizing and suggestive themes.

Under the Stars - Joel one shot by @undercoverpena

Summary: joel finds that you become a thing of unnatural order, all ethereal as the moonlight kisses your curves. Tags: post outbreak. smut. oral sex (m receiving). tying joel up with rope. cutting joel free with a knife. p in v. jo's spelling. feelings, but joel-feelings. softer!joel

Apotheosis - Din series by @beskarandblasters

Summary: Din Djarin is a force-sensitive bounty hunter, working for the remnants of the Empire. He's on the hunt for you, an ex-rebel spy who has key information; the location where Luke Skywalker is building his Jedi training academy. But when you're captured, you're not going to give up the location easily. Din will have to utilize “alternative methods” to turn you over to the dark side. Tags: canon divergent, dark!Din, switches between Din and Reader’s point of view, eventual smut, Star Wars lore (not super heavy), manipulation/gaslighting, murder/minor character death, no use of y/n

Home - Frankie series by @dancingtotuyo

Summary: Frankie always comes home to you. Tags: fluff, angst, girl dad!frankie, recovering!Frankie, references to drug use, references to violence, trauma, healing.

Met the Devil Last Night - Joel one shot by @pedgito

Summary: I made a joke about wanting to screw dirt-covered Joel even if he was deep in the trenches of hell and...well, yeah. This is pure filth and nothing else. Tags: Porn with minuscule plot, if you willfem!reader, demon!joel, no specific age gap since dude is a literal demon, but reader is early 20s and I picture Joel to be his younger self (around 36), mentions of su*cidal ideations, this all a completely made up concept pls don't come for me about rituals, ect i will cry. virgin!reader, reader's father is a priest and horrible (just a total douche)/mother isn't alive, spitting, oral, unprotected piv, blood drinking, competency kink, innocence kink, mutual masturbation

Pearl Rosary - Din one shot by @sweetercalypso

Summary: Priest of Mandalore!Din Djarin listens to your sins during confession Tags: public(ish) sex, finger sucking, deepthroating, cock worship, facial, reader is a Mandalorian who takes her helmet off, so much religious imagery

Good Boy - Dieter/Javi P one shot @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: Dieter gets cucked. That's it. That's the fic. Tags: cucking, PIV, creampie, oral sex f receiving, cum eating, PWP/plot what plot?, dom!Javi, sub!dieter, idk what reader is... having a good time?

Whatta Man - Marcus Pike series by @atinylittlepain

Summary: He's looking for something other than vanilla, and she is more than happy to provide such a service to him. Tags: this is smut, pegging, rimming, sucking and fucking, sex work, lowkey sugardaddy!marcus, sweet shy marcus getting his world rocked, and then pancakes and a blackberry and a black american express card so ya know, the works.

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Self Promo:

in the a.m. - javier peña loose fit series

Summary: Between sleeping with informants and getting in bed with Los Pepes in the fight to bring down Escobar, Javier Peña also finds time to be with you. Wrestling with crippling self hatred, Javi tries and fails to keep his blood stained hands off of you. Based on some of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs <3 Tags: smoking, probably shit spanish, smut, angst, established situationship, emotionally unavailable!Javi, references to past arguments/past hookups because this has been an ongoing thing and I love to start in the middle of a story, loose fit series, trauma, probably, sad!Javi, self hating!Javi, Javi very briefly picks you up, Javi crying, Javi yelling, reader yelling, did I mention angst?

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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copias-sewer-rat · 7 months

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If you still do asks, (you can say no!), but could I request a Mm something with the different Papas taking care of/comforting reader who deals with digestive issues?

(I deal with GERD, acid reflux and some days I literally get symptoms/pain so bad I just curl up and don’t wanna do anything 🥺)

Hi darling! I do asks of course! It might take me a bit to write them because I don’t have much free time lately but I get them done in the end.

I am so so sorry you have to deal with that... to (hopefully) make you feel better here you have the Papas taking care of a reader that deals with digestive issues.

(I tried to make this as GN as possible, hope you don’t mind, I wasn’t sure if you were asking for a m/m relationship so I didn’t want to risk it.)

I. Primo

- Primo is an old man, that we know, but with age there also comes wisdom. He is no stranger to chronic pains or illnesses. His experience has taken him to create what most siblings of sin and even his brothers consider to be the most infallible methods to fight any sickness or health disruptions.

- For sure he has also dealt with gastrointestinal issues, not all foods that he eats stay the same in his stomach as when he was younger. Nonetheless, he has learned what things to avoid.

- Primo had helped you in the past, to the point of considering each other very close, even intimate. You had tried everything he had suggested to you previously, but lately your pain had become unbearable, you needed something else.

- When you come to his quarters in search of a “magical cure” for your pain, skin pale and glossy eyes, he leaves everything that he is doing in that moment to take care of you.

- He doesn’t want you to move an inch so he lets you sleep on his bed. He lends you one of his sleeping gowns, big, long and fresh so you feel all the comfort.

- Before that however, Primo makes you dinner in his private kitchenette. He knows the importance of an appropriate diet when dealing with those sorts of problems. His go to “remedy” is water with non-citrus fruits, he will add whichever fruit you prefer. He will also make you whichever food you might want (but it need to be appropriate for your condition so mostly salads or oats).

-Primo will make you sit on his lap and will feed you small bits so you can digest your food properly, whispering how good you are doing and telling you that you will feel better soon. With the dinner he also gives you one of his most potent remedies, one that also makes you sleepy.

-You need to stay awake for a bit making your digestion before going to bed so Primo will ask for you to tell him how your day was or any anecdote that comes to mind. He will listen attentively drawing circles on your back until you fall asleep in his arms, finally taking you to his bed for a good night of rest.

II. Secondo

-Secondo doesn’t know much about gastrointestinal issues. He smokes, drinks and eats all types of food and in such quantities that if done by any normal person it would leave them in a comatose state.

-However, when you come to him in search of comfort, he will research everything he can about your condition and how to make you feel better.

-He is hesitant about helping you because he considers himself to be a bit of a brute, but seeing you in such state gives him the courage to try his best.

-Secondo will follow down to the t every single tip he finds online. Whatever food might help you he will cook, whatever medicine might make you feel better he will go and find.

-If you cannot move much he will carry you anywhere and help you with whichever task: showering, bathing, brushing your hair, whatever you might need.

-Like Primo, he will carry you to his own bed to rest, hugging you, a pillow between you two, pressed on your stomach to alleviate as much pain as possible.

-If by any chance you wake up in the middle of the night with pain or in need to vomit he will be by your side, pressing a cold towel to your forehead, rubbing your back and arms in slow motions which makes your blood move.

-He will reassure you that everything will be fine, that he is not going anywhere and that the pain will pass.

-You believe him of course, how could you not when he smiles at you so warmly and with such confidence. His positiveness rubs on you and some of the pain fades away.

-The rest of the night you sleep soundly in his arms.

III. Terzo

-Poor Terzo doesn’t know what to do to help you, so he calls Omega to carry you around.

-He goes to Primo for help. Terzo bursts in first, screaming pleads with exaggerated stereotypical Italian hand motions. If you were not in such pain you would surely laugh at his antics.

-Omega is very tender with you, he moves slowly so as to not make you feel worse.

-Primo instructs Terzo in what to do, how to make you feel better and what medicines might be the best.

-If Primo told him 5 medicines that might help you, Terzo is going to get the five of them.

-As instructed by Terzo, Omega will carry you to Terzo’s bed after you have taken your medicine.

-They will let you sleep as much as you want and if you ask, both of them will join you in your slumber.

-Your body will be pressed against Terzo’s and Omega’s chests. You would feel like a cat nested in a fort of pillows, thankful for all the contact and pressure.

-The attention makes you forget most of your pain, only leaving the usual reflex. When those occur, Terzo will squeeze you tighter, signing Italian lullabies to you until you go back to sleep, safe and sound next to him.

IV. Copia

-Like Terzo, Copia is stressed™ at seeing you in pain.

-He sweeps you off your feet and takes you to the infirmary in a rush. He almost trips a couple of times and he got lost a few times also, which wasn’t the best for your condition but he apologized profusely every time something happened that made you wince.

-He rushes every nurse there to get you anything that might help.

-The nurses can’t help but roll their eyes at how stressed he is. He is making such a fuzz that the nurses threaten him with kicking him out if he does not behave.

-The nurses recommend that you stay the night in the infirmary, so of course Copia is going to stay with you.

-He takes an armchair and places it next to your bed.

-To make you feel better he sneaks in one of his rats for you to pet and cuddle with.

-As he feels you drifting off because of the medicine, he will also try to sleep in his chair, his hand extended to hold yours during the entirety of the night.

-If at any point you wake up in pain or in need to vomit, just like Secondo, Copia will be there for you, helping you in any way possible.

-After that he will even join you in the very small infirmary bed, holding you close, rubbing your stomach so as to try to ease your pain.

- You drift off to the feeling of loving kisses on the back of your neck, feeling so much better.

----

Hope this could help a bit, also hope you get better soon darling, lots of love to you🖤

For now my ask box is always open so do not hesitate to ask for something you might want to read.

#the band ghost #papa emeritus iv #gonst #ghost #cardinal copia #ghost band #ghost bc #papa emeritus iii #papa secondo #papa terzo #papa emeritus 2 #papa ii #papaemeritus #papa copia #copia #ghost the band bc #ask box

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iidigestive-readerii · 1 year

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Update!

So... I hate doing this, but I need help with rent. I'm $467 short for rent 🤦 I had a a few unexpected bills and it really screwed me over. If anyone could spare a bit and donate to my Ko-fi that'd be wonderful 💕

I know I'm not that active lately, puppy training and being back at work has been taking a ton of my time and energy.

The link is here:

#ko fi account #ko fi post #signal boost #rent help #ii digestive reader ii #life update #star wars #fanfic writing

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vintagegeekculture · 1 year

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RIP John Jakes, Pulp and Fantasy Author

A man who’s career began in pulp scifi, then was one of the greatest group of fantasy fans turned authors, and who finally ended it as one of the most commercially successful “men’s adventure” paperback novels of the 1970s, John Jakes died at 90 last week. What a life! He started his career in scifi pulp of the 1950s, switching to sword and sorcery action in the 60s, and finally, ending the 70s as one of the top selling authors of the decade. In one guy’s life, you can see the ebb and flow of trends in men’s adventure fiction over the decades.

Let’s start the John Jakes story at the end, and then work our way back. Does this book series above look familiar to you at all?

If you have grandparents and they live in America, I 100% guarantee the Kent Family Chronicles (also called the Bicentennial Series) are in your Mee Maw and Pep Pep’s house right now. You probably handled them while visiting their house and went through their bookshelves as a child, right next to their Reader’s Digest condensed books, Tai-Pan and Shogun by James Clavell, copies of the endless sequels to Lonesome Dove, and old TV Guides they still have for some reason next to the backgammon set. If your grandparents are no longer with us, you probably found this series when selling their possessions after death. That’s because these things sold in the millions, back when the surest way to make money in writing was to write melodramatic, intergenerational family sagas of grandiose sweep set around historical events. Weighty family sagas, ones critics call bloated and self important instead of “epic,” were a major part of 70s fiction as they were four quadrant hits: men liked them for war, action, and history (every guy at some point must choose between being a civil war guy, or World War II guy) and ladies loved them for their romance and melodramatic love triangles (after all, the Ur-example of this kind of book is Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind). This was the kind of thing turned into TV event miniseries, and ably lampooned in the hilarious “Spoils of Babylon” series with Kristen Wiig and Toby McGwire, which, decades after the fact, did to this genre what Airplane! did for the formerly prolific airport disaster movie: it torpedoed it forever by making it impossible to take seriously.

This genre eventually went away because men stopped being reliable book buyers and book readers in the 1990s (or at least, were no longer marketed to as an audience), Lonesome Dove’s insane popularity was the last gasp of this audience. I’ve said this before, but men and boys no longer reading is the single most under remarked on social problem we have. “YA books” now basically mean “Girl Books.”

John Jakes did not suddenly come out of nowhere to write smash hit bestsellers set around a family during the American Revolution. He came from one of the weirdest places imaginable: a crony of L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter in fantasy and weird tales fanzines like Amra, he was one of the original “Gang of Eight,” people drawn from fantasy and horror fandom to become pro-writers now that fantasy fiction had a home at Ballantine Publishing, just before the rise of Lord of the Rings and the paperback pulp boom, which is an incredible case of being in the right place at the right time. There, John Jakes, a fanzine contributor and ERB fan, wrote “Brak the Barbarian,” which is amazing as L. Sprague de Camp and Ballantine hadn’t even reprinted the Conan stories yet and Conan was as well known as Jirel of Joiry or Jules de Grandin. Only superfans of pulp knew who that guy was at all, there was no audience for it. He wrote Brak the Barbarian as a superfan, and was lucky the paperback market found him.

The tireless work John Jakes, Lin Carter, L. Sprague de Camp, and the Gang of Eight did in preserving fantasy novelists of the pulp age into the 50s-60s is one of the great historic feats of preservation and keeping fandom flames alive. It’s no exaggeration to say that you know who Conan the Barbarian and HP Lovecraft are right now because of them, fans who kept the flame alive tirelessly and thanklessly in the ultra-rational 50s that had no place for dark horrific fantasy.

Like his friend in fantasy and pulp fandom, L. Sprague de Camp, John Jakes started as a scifi guy in the endless scifi pulp magazines of the 1950s. Unlike his friend de Camp or Hugh B. Cave, who were full of humor, characterization, and satire, Jakes was often pessimistic, dour, and downbeat, and he disliked to laugh.

It’s shocking to lose someone with a connection to, in one lifetime, the first great group of fantasy fandom, 50s scifi pulp, and 70s men’s adventure. John Jakes’ life spanned all of them.

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misforgotten2 · 5 months

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You wouldn't have the runs if you didn’t eat like you do.

Teflon II: Now with less poison gas!™

Reader’s Digest December 1973

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ladythornofrivia · 9 months

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my heavenly salvation

Pair: Levi x Reader

Warnings: This series is going to be contain with fluff. Too much fluff. And smut. With mentions of self-harm, mentions of depression. Psychological abuse and bullying. Inspired by the Titanic movie.

A/N: Hi! I have return from my great slump! When writing a chapter, in life, anything is possible. Question of the day, do you prefer Leonardo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt?

(Please report if anyone decides to steal/plagiarize my work and notify me. Thank you.)

youtube

Chapter II

In the Land of Enemies

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The Goliath ship has sailed farther from the civilization.

First class looked at the interior ship with admiration. White marble and teal and earthy tones are well-coordinated. People from the first class whispered with well-praised comments hung in the air.

Meanwhile, your aristocratic mother, Gertrude O’Connell, on the other hand, couldn’t—wouldn’t—stop nagging about the thick stench in the air inside the Goliath ship. The brand new scent overwhelmed her. Being an indoor, fancy-loving, perfume-loving luxury was quite terrible. Your eyes kept glancing at her, watching her face turned green whilst shielding her hand with an ivory handkerchief ruffled around her mouth, ready to wretch her gut and vomit at anytime. Perhaps the smell of sea has rocked Gertrude’s digestive system.

She kept clinging onto you like a cat terribly soaked in bath, sharp claws holding onto its dear life. Bone and skin onto your arm never felt terrible, as if your arm is about to amputate from the lack of blood flow your mother tends to grip tight like an iron shackle.

You felt no better of it, either. Despite being on board, your head and chest felt light. Luckily, there were sweets and compliments of drink that could soothe you and the lingering trap lurking and looming over your stature.

Taking the candy from your purse and into your mouth, a hand slapped the candy across the floor from your hand.

“Mother,” you said, stern.

“You’re going to gain severe consequences if you keep eating things that’ll make you look undesirable and unbearable to admire at from afar,” Gertrude lectured.

Pulling your arm away, Gertrude snapped your arm back into her clutch, nails digging it deeper, making you flinch and hiss between your clenched teeth.

“Don’t make me cause a scene in this ship, (y/n),” Gertrude threatened. “Don’t make me cry, (y/n). Don’t make me upset. You know what’s best for you. Your relatives and my aristocratic friends knows what’s best for you. Unlike your father who left his numerous debts and scandals before he passed on from this world with his wicked and selfish ideas. Your father is nothing more than a stupid, gullible, good-for-nothing man that needs to be put down like a sick, useless dog.”

“It was never his fault that you chose to be so cruel to him by painting him in a bad light.”

“So conceited and a cry-baby, like you. When are you ever going to stop making these accusations?”

You sighed. “You always say that to me, too, dear mother.” Finally, you retrieved your arm back and strode ahead from Gertrude and collect more candy from the little shop nearby—two more peppermint candies, and a large size chocolate bars that is the same size as your hand. You thanked the man and gave him spare change before putting candies in the purse, but leave one peppermint candy out, unwrapping it and nibbled the candy in front of Gertrude’s eyes with mischief. Then chewed the crisp and sweet texture in between your perfect teeth.

Gertrude nearly fainted. But before you could spare a moment of amusement, the trumpet horned and startled the first class passengers. As usual, everyone clapped. A stupid reason to clap for. For anything that you have seen, this was no surprise to you.

Rich people are that bored.

You’re an established-born aristocrat yourself, but you couldn’t help but to look down on others who clapped at the most mundane things that crossed into everyone’s lives once in a while—or everyday life. Though you couldn’t blame them. After the Rumbling incident, what everyone wanted is to forget and go back to the things that they were before. Before Eren Yeager’s invasion—

“May I present, His Majesty, Zeke Yeager, son of Grisha Yeager and Dina Fritz,” the announcer boomed.

Once again, the bustling onlookers made a thunderous clap. You watched Gertrude clapped alongside others with a most insincere enthusiastic smile. While they all gave Zeke Yeager a warm welcome, there’s something beneath those radiant smiles and twinkling eyes, stood tall and proud, watching Zeke Yeager entered the bright scene.

One thing’s for sure. They’re still all afraid of the Yeager brothers. Shaken with fear, but masked it with a friendly grin and gaze.

“And last, but certainly not least, we’re honored to represent our next guest, who contributed his establishment and provide great profit for the Goliath and the spare for more 30 lifeboats. Not only he has excellence in leadership, but also has repaired our lands that once led to a great ruination. He saved us, from the wars and the land we once feared and fought for many centuries has brought to an end. I welcome you, the Conqueror of all Titans and soldiers, the Usurper, Eren Yeager.”

The long shadow is casted before the tall figure represents himself before a large audience. You have never seen Eren Yeager. Whenever you hear the name Eren Yeager, your mind envisioned of an older man with scars on his face and an eye patch covered on one eye—bulky yet old and thinly, white hair slicked back—having a possibility of being Zeke’s malignant father. But you never expected Eren Yeager to enter the scenery to present himself.

A tall young man though a bit taller than Zeke. And unlike Zeke Yeager’s appearance, Eren has broody and intimidating countenance. Bowing before others, a dark, long hair swept over his visage as the angle of his bright teal eyes are filled with blight beneath his darkened locks that sharpened and shadowed his features. His posture and mannerisms are preserved with steadiness, but underneath all that sophistication, Eren held something quite alarming.

Feigned with suspicion, regardless, you shook your superstitions aside as you try to retain yourself by clapping alongside the people beside you. Though you didn’t do it for Gertrude or any idiots in the ship, of course.

“Enjoy this beloved ship. Goliath is meant to rule over the seas, just as any ship would. We meant to sail ourselves to glowing horizon, farther than you can ever imagine,” Zeke said with a bright, childish smile. “May our future be filled with grace and prosperity. And it will all start here in this ship we built—Goliath.”

Everyone cheered at his shared wisdom.

How pretentious…

So you filled your appetite with the pleasures of sweets that you afforded not too long ago.

~~~

Levi couldn’t stand Zeke Yeager’s smile any longer. He hasn’t fulfill his promise to Erwin. It felt like part of it was his fault. No matter how he tried to forget, forgiveness wasn’t option. As a great leader of the Survey Corps, as Erwin’s most trusted comrade, has failed him.

The Beast Titan still lives. Beast or no beast, Levi’s heart twinged with regret and anger.

Which meant that Eren Yeager still lives. Which meant that the lingering fragments of the terrible tragedy fell upon him. Why Levi? Him and others never asked for Eren to wipe billions of civilization crushing beneath Titans’s feet. Levi and Eren’s comrades—his closest friends—wanted the Rumbling to call off because both Marleyans and Eldians alike are imprinted with punishment, suffered from multiple casualties and fleeing to escape. Eren’s plans, the Rumbling, was their greatest suffering.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. He couldn’t stand of doing nothing any longer. Levi wasn’t born as a helpless soul—he’s been reborn as a soldier ever since Kenny came into his life after Kuchel passed away. As a grown man in a present hour, his living soul still lingers—yearning—a touch of normalcy for once. What was life like without war, without death and screams of the despair and dying beside the decaying bodies. How his squad, his men, and commanders and civilians alike if they haven’t been involved or affected by the giant creatures that knows how to feast on flesh. Unfortunately for him, Levi could never recall how normalcy is. His days as a child were a blur except the time of Kuchel’s passing.

Not a busied audience being spectacularly amazed at the graceful presence of the Yeager brothers. He wanted to forget to start a new life, a new purpose, but his past, as a Captain of Survey Corp, was calling out to him. His past self, his fallen comrades, friends and Commander Erwin, Levi’s hands itched to grab a pointy object to jab it inside Zeke’s neck, throbbing with blood flowing through porcelain skin. Pierce his eyes, his monkey smile if he has to.

As for Eren Yeager, Levi wanted to strangle him, kick him to no end. Levi wished for a better improvement upon his deeds aside having an instinct of a fearless captain. But will it be all worth it if he stands still like a civilian? Will he stay and watch?

He alone survives, watching usurpers and avarice civilians, blend in like a flock of wandering sheep.

As a wandering, restless soul, Levi did nothing to regain avenge for his people. He did nothing to prevent from his squad and innocent people dying into the hands of the Female Titan, Armor Titan and Colossal Titan. Between his team and Annie and Reiner, they’ve reconciled, despite their errors of judgement. At the end of the day, they’re the product of youth who did the dirty work for the Marleyans—their higher ups—against the people in Paradis, by convincing them that it’s for “greater good” against evil. All the Marleyans wanted is peace—by sending their Warriors to gather substantial evidence that could help them win the war.

A realization dawned upon him when he learned that the humans are bloodthirsty. It’s never peace. Peace was just a cover up. Power is all they needed.

There was never peace to begin with.

His fists clenched when the crowd has been parted, ordered to return and continue their admiration inside the Goliath ship. He concealed his young visage and hid behind the jolly man, who was drinking the finest scotch drink Goliath has to offer, all the while watching Zeke Yeager strolling across the floor and given a firm handshake towards the aristocrats he’s well acquainted with.

His fist nearly deeply scarred from his nails digging into the skin. All could Levi see is red.

I’ll find a way to avenge your death, my comrades. Erwin, you should be at peace. I let that Beast Titan live for far too long. It’s time for me to rectify the mistakes I made.

~~~

As you grabbed the last pair of candy you afforded to tear the package open, Gertrude snatched your free hand and yanked you forward in a sharp, fast motion, ultimately disguised it as an emotion of excitement.

Gertrude was really good at shifting someone’s best mood.

“Not now, Mother,” you said, tightened the candy in an instinct.

“You’ll be more undesirable and desperate, you know,” Gertrude lectured with a silent threat in her eyes. “Stop acting like a child and be a damnable grown woman for once in your useless life.”

Your anger seeped further each time Gertrude’s words sent a sharp knife to your self-preserved happiness and appetite.

Once Gertrude a full word with you, she turned around to see Zeke Yeager, who was coming at her direction, with a smile on her face.

Why can’t she marry him instead sending me as if I was a newborn animal to her, selling into an auction? No wonder why my father hates marriage arrangements. He’s been cursed being born into an aristocratic family since day one. As do I…

As do you.

Do you have any other choice in the matter? Your reputation will be down and dusted to smithereens. Your life will soon be over. But is this really the only best choice in order for you to live healthily with prosperity?

“Your Majesty,” Gertrude greeted with a chirped smile.

You rolled your eyes. Oh, you hated your mother’s fraudulent grin that has been graced on her aged face. How her wrinkles are adorned with experience and yet lack of meaningful substance from a ripe and listless soul.

“How do you find yourself in the Goliath ship? I imagine it must be quite exhausting for you to handle the moving seas and be stuck under a pile of steel, iron and color,” Zeke asked with hands behind his back, unaware of Eren, who was shifting back into the shadows where he belongs.

“Oh,” Gertrude exclaimed, her hand faintly flapped with embarrassment, “It’s been quite well! I admire everything—it’s everything I can dream of and more!”

Oh, please. I can fling myself off into a lifeboat and be done with it.

Zeke chuckled wholeheartedly with a hand on his chest. “Don’t flatter me, Mrs. O’Connell. Goliath has been a greatest gift to humanity. We need ourselves a distraction after the collateral damages for the past few years. Think of this as my generosity—a golden ticket to our eternal paradise!”

“You’re too kind, Your Majesty,” she said, blushing. “Goliath is your kingdom, after all.” Then she exhaled an exaggerated gasp. “Speaking of your kingdom, there’s someone I would like for you to meet as a proper fit for your status.”

Here we go. Someone drown me with sweets, please.

“In the grace of your presence, I introduce you to my beautiful, well-endowed daughter, (y/n) O’Connell.” Then she faced you, her wide eyes were telling you to not mess things she organized. “Surely,” she said, facing back to Zeke, “you’ll be pleased.”

Zeke gave her a wry smile.

With a stiff motion, you faced Zeke Yeager, and your neck slightly bowed. “Your Majesty,” your once brave voice faded to a subservient, distant tone.

Zeke looked at you a few seconds before he threw a howling sharp laughter that he nearly fell onto his knees. The royal guards beside him grew with concern; all the men rushed to his side.

“Are you alright, Your Majesty?”

Zeke swiped a tear in his eye. “Goodness! I haven’t laughed for so long I have forgotten what it’s like! It’s particularly amusing to me that she bows with her head and eyes shot with indifference.”

Gertrude shot you with a furious look in her broadened eyes once more before she turned back to Zeke and said, “I do apologize, Your Majesty. My beautiful and well-endowed daughter has been extensively…stiff with her precarious routine of hers. I should make her break and bleed her leg in order for her to bend the knee if you desire for a favorable result.”

Zeke exhaled. “No, it’s quite alright.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that—”

“Anyone who isn’t bending their knee is considerably favorable as treason,” a man notified.

People behind you gasped with terror through silence in their holding breath.

But it wasn’t a man. It was Eren Yeager, who has emerged from the shadows once more.

To your disappointment, some men beside you were quivering with obedience.

“My dearest brother,” Zeke said with his arm slung over Eren’s shoulder and pulled him closer to pinch Eren’s sullen cheeks. “The O’Connell family is our honorable guest. They have helped us during the war. They’re not only kind-hearted and generous, but they’re willing to stand with us without ever so much of a question. Especially to Mrs. O’Connell, am I correct?”

Eren glanced back and forth between Gertrude and the crowd of men. “Mrs. O’Connell has been very charitable to us since the beginning we arrived at the Marley lands. With nowhere else to go, and with our vulnerable position to overtake justice and prevail through courage in cruel times, who could we ever trust in the land of enemies?” Then his eyes landed towards you, ever so icy, unblemished and unblinking. “I trust that our special companions will act accordingly as before.”

Gertrude gulped, producing a nervous giggle. “We’ll certainly do our best of ability as we’ve always done, Mister Yeager,” she said to Eren. “We, O’Connells, never fail.”

As soon as Zeke Yeager loosened his arm on Eren, his smile and twinkling eyes dissolved into a permanent state of a man who has once fought war as a Beast Titan. His glossy eyes is filled with doom and his glowing aura blackened around him. You felt the chill rising on your arms, as Gertrude stayed back further from you.

“Eren’s right,” he said quietly, walking towards you in small, careful steps. “Not bending a knee is a crime.” Once he tucked his fingers under your chin, he lifted your face up to meet his calculating eyes. “As Zeke Yeager, I’ll overlook it to the best of my ability, but as your king, I’m afraid your act won’t go unpunished.” He looked over to his trusted royal guard and said, “Do what you must.”

People roaring with terrible protests and non-sensical statements as the royal guard seized both of your arms, dragging you back as your mind is wrapped up in a blank state. As you, in an unbearable and unbreathable state you’re in, you couldn’t find yourself to bend the knee.

If only you’re born in a different path. You would rather be poor and happy, than to be rich and lonely, the collections of shame and scandals, and the talks of the prestigious town has been enough for you. Your childhood has been stripped away like a moths to a lovely gown, slowly decaying while alive, burning like an explosion beneath your skin, dripping like acid, overwhelmingly poisoned with heat and sweat.

As the royal guard brought down onto your knee, you fought back by not letting your knees touched the ground.

“Don’t fight it, (y/n), it’s useless,” Gertrude said with a fake cry, but you knew in your heart she was laughing behind a lace fan.

The screams deafened to numbness. Was this your dead-end?

The blood-curdling scream prevailed.

It snapped your thoughts out when everyone stopped and turned their attention to the most prestigious man in the ship, wailing about his new injury on his leg.

Everyone, including the guard, dropped their guard down as others rushed to the man’s side.

“Fuck, my leg is injured again. That clumsy fuck!” The prestigious man shouted.

“Who did it?” The aristocratic woman, who you assumed, his sister asked.

The man only groaned. “Is there a medical room nearby? I want to have an full inspection of my damnable, good-for-nothing leg of mine!”

The cast of long shadow materialized before you, as you meet Zeke Yeager’s eyes with a steel and stubborn look in yours, he said, “Eren, go and assist with my trusted royal guard to escort the poor gentleman to the infirmary. He needed his injury to be under a full inspection.”

Eren said nothing as he and Zeke’s trusted royal guard to carry the gentleman at a different hall, leaving the spectators to disperse and follow them with curiosity. Meanwhile, Gertrude was chatting with one of the Countess to befriend with for a greater status.

“You’re lucky, Miss (y/n),” Zeke began, “Consider that as a blessing from the Goddess Ymir, because if there is no Goddess Ymir, there will be no mer—”

Then he shouted in pain, mentioning something about his leg is struck by a stubborn cane. The back of Zeke’s leg caused him to a halted screech for everyone close to him. As the people surrounded him, a hand grasped your wrist and hauled you away from the dramatic scenery. Once you’re isolated, you never have the chance to look at the savior, who has withdrew, and gave you nothing but unanswered questions floating around your head.

The only thing that’s left is the candy—a large sized caramel chocolate bar candy into your hand. Quickly, you attempted to seize your time and inserted a piece into your mouth, savoring with victory after a small battle you endured earlier.

The luck of sweets has rescued you once again.

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