#i've wanted to use this quote for so long and now i finally have good material that i couldn't wait for the 2 next eps
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Amy might not have spoken to her future husband that night, but she would have noticed him. Cloud in a full suit of armour, with his dark hair and features, Robert, the youngest of the earl’s sons, would have stood out from his older brother Ambrose and the rest of the noblemen arguing tactics around the dinner table. [Death and The Virgin]
#becoming elizabeth#becomingelizabethedit#robert dudley#amy robsart#jamie blackley#ruby ashbourne serkis#no i haven't turned sides lol i just i'm so amy in this scenario and i feel this quote so much#i've wanted to use this quote for so long and now i finally have good material that i couldn't wait for the 2 next eps#my stuff#k:centuries
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My little star
Characters: Xavier
Summary: random relationship headcanons with Xavier
Warnings: None
A/N: I've completely fallen in love with Love and Deepspace, especially with Xavier. It's truly hopeless
the type of boyfriend to get you matching pyjamas
he gets you so many that they slowly start to replace all of your own
likes to match with you even if you don't live together, so sometimes he just texts you to ask which pyjamas you're wearing so he can change into the matching one after he showered
if you ever gift him slippers, blankets, or pillows, he will keep them forever (even if it's something goofy like those big fluffy bunny slippers)
the best person to ask for good midnight snacks. He can recommend fantastic instant noodles, chips, crackers, or other snacks that are light and won't give you stomach aches late at night or negatively impact your sleep in any other way
very interested in your skincare routine (if you have one) and will try out any mask or cream that you give him
if you come up with a routine for him (a simple one, maybe, like the basic cleanser > toner > moisturizer), he will follow it diligently, dragging himself out of bed before he sleeps every day to do it because you were the one to pick those products for him and he doesn't want to waste that
he feels like it connects you to him, even if your routine is completely different and a bit more complicated
never cries during movies, no matter how sad they might be, but he does (on very rare occasions) get a bit teary-eyed
he will hold you if you cry during a movie, and he would never even think about making fun of you for it
he does secretly think that it's cute that you get so worked up about a movie
can sleep through anything. a bomb could go off in his house and he wouldn't know that it happened until he woke up
has seen every single episode of any shitty sitcom you can think of at least three times because he occasionally watches them while he sleeps
sometimes he quotes them but because he knows each of these shows so well now he always quotes the lesser known scenes and no one gets what he's talking about
you start to understand his references after a while, so sometimes he will quote some obscure scene from a super unpopular sitcom that got cancelled after one season and you're the only one laughing
secretly sneaks to the arcade sometimes to practice the claw machine game because he wants to get you the plushies you don't have yet (and to impress you)
he ends up getting dozens of repeats of plushies that you already own. he collects in a small storage room in his apartment that used to be empty
he ends up giving them away when the collection gets out of control, donating them to a children's hospital nearby
gets all shy when you find out about it, blushing bright red like a tomato (or a wasabi octopus)
knows about every single 24 hour store in the city because of his odd sleeping habits and always knows what to do no matter what time it is
you can't sleep and want to go on a date at 3:27 am? he knows a place
if someone is mean to you he will try his hardest to deescalate the situation, but he's also fully willing to fight the person if that doesn't work
I mean have you read his Anecdotes 2? He doesn't give a fuck. He'd prefer not to fight, sure, but if it's unavoidable? What is he gonna do? Not fight and defend you? Ridiculous.
The fandom has already started turning him into this soft uwu stereotype, but the thing is that that's... just not him? He's sweet and kind, yes, but that's not all he is. He's complicated! He has layers!
if he ever falls asleep during a date he would feel awful about it for days, even if you reassure him that it's fine and that you're glad that he feels safe enough around you to fall asleep
he tries to make it up to you with a different date and he falls asleep again, which starts a vicious, endless cycle
when he finally does get over his guilt it's only because you fall asleep during a date after you had a long day at work
knows when you cheat in kitty cards, but sometimes he just lets you get away with it, especially if he knows you had a stressful day at work. He hopes that the win will cheer you up
his good night kisses are forehead kisses while his good morning kisses are on top of your head if you didn't sleep over or on the cheek if you did
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Q & A
persisting, the 4D and letting go
Not so long ago I became stuck in a loop of wanting and waiting. Weeks passed by like minutes, and I was desperate to "get" what I "wanted"-- real desperate, I tell you. But one way or another, loops end. They do. Even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment, they always pass, and your higher self shines through. These are a couple of questions I had while at my lowest, and my answer to them now. Hope this post may be useful to someone!!
"How do I persist even if I don't see anything?"
"You just persist" is what I've been told time and time again. "Yeah, but how?" is what I shot back. And silence followed. Paraphrasing, there's this quote by Einstein I've seen around here saying that, it's when you sit with yourself in the silence you're so desperate to fill up, when you stop looking for answers, that's when you get them. It doesn't matter how many times people here tell you to persist (to decide, to know it's yours) if, when you close the app, you forget everything and go right back to the old story. Why keep entretaining a story that you don't like? It's like if you're watching a really bad movie -- you can just turn it off.
You are able to persist. It's not something supernatural that only a handful of people can do. Everyone persists in something. You are persisting in the old story, for example. "B-But... Why??? Why is my subconscious doing this to me? I want to change!! I do!". This is so silly. Why are you mad at your subconscious? There's no 'good' or 'bad' (or 'ugly') story, that's just something you add the meaning to later. Your subconscious doesn't know the difference.
In the end, it all comes down to choosing. Just one final choice (do I even need to tell you that you're the creator of all? You must know by now). When you choose -- when you accept that you have it in the 4D once you imagine it, that's who you are. And once you've chosen, you cannot just give it up. You don't need proof in the 3D when the 4D is the only reality that should matter right now. Accept that you have it and move on. Creation is finished.
"And how do I convince myself it's set in stone?"
Close your eyes right now and imagine whatever it is that you "want". You can see it. You've just experienced it within, you can't deny that. That being said, you now know creation is finished. It's done. Done. Done. Done.
The 4D is the only true reality. It's the blueprint, nothing would exist in your 3D if it wasn't for it, your old assumptions, thoughts and ideas. For you. All you need and want already exists within you. Your desires are not separate from you, so you can experience them within; your mind is not separate from you, so you can change your old patterns; your 3D is not separate from you, so you can control it! You are the 3D and the 4D, just -- different, in another form.
The 3D is not real; it is a reflection of your mind! It may feel real, look real... But just because you see from it, not beyond it; the body is experiencing the 3D, but it's when you start to look at it from the 4D that you can understand that and take it in. All you need is the 4D. And, within, you've already experienced your desire, and you don't need anything else in order to experience materialization. It is set in stone if you decide it is -- so choose.
"I want to experience 'x' now. What do I do everyday in order to get it?"
No. There's no "getting". There's no "in order to". There's no "want". From the moment you get involved in the imaginal act, creation is finished, and 'x' is already experienced. Therefore, it's done. If you're not focusing on the end, but rather on the "I want", you're in a state of lack. Shift your state. Why not? It's not hard; you're in a state now. But I get it. You want the -- 'real' experience in the 3D? You want everyone on here to stop talking in riddles and tell you what to do, because random people on the internet have more power over you than... you? Aren't you tired of chasing? Of trying? Maybe not -- enough.
But seriously, if you "want" "it" "now", persist in the knowing and go to sleep. Tell yourself it's done and it's done. Persist in the old story and that's what you "get". Persisit in the new one, and your reality shifts. After all, "nothing changes if nothing changes". Don't allow any other thought to distract you from the end. Just -- don't. Thoughts come and go, and doubts will come as well; observe them and let them go. The end will materialize in the 3D because it has already materialized in the 4D. The inner man is your true you, so be him. Be unbothered by the neutral 3D and focus on living as the inner man.
"Is this fail-proof? How do I know I'm not just wishing my life away?"
It's real if you assume it is! Now get off this app and do something! Because, who's going to do it for you? Be the inner man and continue being! It will happen! Trust yourself. Trust. Why not?
#manifesting#loa#manifesation#law of assumption#how to manifest#law of manifestation#master manifestor#law of attraction#desired life#dream life#affirm and persist#edward art#neville goddard#affirmyourreality
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YOU'RE LOSING ME | wanda maximoff
How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? And you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone.
i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!!
masterlist
Y/N's POV
What are you really willing to do for love? For someone so important to you?
Well, for me, I'll do everything and anything for that person. Even though it hurts. So much.
I rolled to my side and smile instantly crept into my face. There she is, my girlfriend looking so peaceful. I admire her sleeping state and curved her figures inside my mind.
"You know, it's rude to stare." She suddenly spoke making me laugh.
"What? Can't I admire my gorgeous girl?" I teasingly asked.
She slowly opened her eyes revealing my favorite green eyes, "Good morning, Y/N." she whispered with a smile.
"Good morning, witchy." I softly said with a little laugh that I tried to hide causing her to throw a pillow at me.
I love morning like this. Just us not caring about the world.
Just like the clock works before we know it, we already have to leave the bed to face reality.
"It's nice to finally see you awake, love birds." Tony said as he took a sipped of his coffee.
"We're not love birds, Stark." Wanda replied with the roll of her eyes.
Ah, yes, we're secret because she said and I quote she's not yet ready to come out. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt me one bit because it does. All I want is to love her, out in the open and not like this.
I felt a hand touches my shoulder causing me to go back to reality, I look infront of me and met Wanda's soft gazes, "Are you okay? I've called you so many times."
"Oh, yeah. Don't worry, I'm good." I breathed out and walked away not giving her any second glance.
I walked towards the kitchen and make myself coffee when Natasha spoke.
"Still keeping it a secret?" I didn't even notice she's here. And yes, she's the only one who knows about our relationship. We didn't tell her for the record, she just walked in on us… making out.
Anyway, I look up at her and gave her a defeated smile, "Isn't it obvious?"
"How long are you going to ignore that pain inside your chest?" she asked and I didn't answer because honestly… I don't know either.
"Y/N, when are you going to choose yourself? When are you going to see what your worth really is?" She continues holding my shoulder forcing me to face her.
"I love her." I whispered.
"And I know that, I can see that. Hell, you wouldn't even ignore and bare all this pain if you don't." Nat said and lift my chin, "You're like a sister to me and I don't say this often but I do love you, Y/N. I care for you and it's really hard seeing my little sister getting hurt whether she does it unintentionally." She softly added.
"Nat, I-" The words I was about to say instantly cut off when I heard Wanda's laugh ringing loud. I look behind us and see her laughing with Vision. The fucking red walking toaster.
"Are you sure the reason why she's keeping you both a secret is because she is not yet ready or…?" She asked trailing her last word knowing that I'll know it instantly.
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I reassured her but deep down, it was for me.
Days turns into weeks which also turn into months. Months and nothing changed, not even a single thing. Every time I try opening the subject to Wanda, she always find a way to divert it into different subject but today, I wouldn't let it happen. Not anymore.
"Wanda, we need to talk." I sternly said as I enter her room.
"Hi to you too, baby." she replied still sitting on her bed.
"We can't go on like this." I directly said starting the topic.
"Y/N, can we–"
"No, we can't. We're going to talk about this right now. God, we've been together for almost three years, Wanda. Three long fucking years and not even single effort you made to change our status."
"Y/N, you know damn well I'm not yet ready to make us public." She said nearly shouting.
"Three years is not enough for you? I didn't say that you make us public, all I want is for the team to know. Just them. I'm tired being your little secret, I'm tired of you being mine just around this goddamn four walls. I respect what you want and need, Wanda. For three years, I prioritized what you want, this, but you have to understand that I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I kept pushing my needs aside because I love you, but I can't do it anymore. I want to love you, freely. I kept choosing you, I kept giving you all my best me's until there's nothing left for me. I can't choose you anymore." I ramble, on the verge of crying but I kept all my emotions under control.
"Y/N, I… I'm sorry." Wanda softly said standing infront of me.
"Are you apologizing because you're now realizing all of this or are you apologizing because you still can't give the only thing I want?" I asked quietly.
"I'm sorry because I hurt you and I keep on hurting you."
"THEN TAKE IT AWAY! MAKE THIS GO AWAY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THIS! DO SOMETHING!" I shouted as my tears finally left my eyes.
"Y/N…"
"Wanda, I don't know anymore. Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired. I tried, I keep telling myself to wait until you're ready but every time, this voices inside my head kept telling and asking me, are you even going to get there?" I cried out.
"Are you… Are you tired now, Y/N?" she shakily asked.
I nod and wiped my tears, "I'm so tired, Wanda. I feel so lost, this between us made me doubt myself so much. Am I not worth the risk for you? I'm tired of wondering how can you just pretend everyday like we're nothing." I sobbed and sat on the bed as I rest my face on my hands, "I'm tired of saying that I'm okay, that it doesn't hurt. I'm tired of pretending everyday. I'm tired of waiting for you to fulfill your promises. I'm tired of defending you against Nat especially myself. I believed in you, Wanda. I kept waiting but it seems like in this relationship, it's not us against the world. It's me against you." I said between cries looking at her to see her crying as well.
"Y/N, I know whatever I say right now wouldn't change anything. It won't take the pain that I've caused you but trust me, I love you. I really do. I can understand how hurtful it must have been for you. I know that I failed to treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. I am truly sorry for any pain or suffering that I have caused you. It was never my intention to hurt you, and I can only imagine the amount of pain that I have caused you. I want you to know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I am willing to work on myself and our relationship to ensure that this does not happen again. I know that sorry is not enough to fix the mess I have made. I promise to do everything I can to show you how much I love and value you as my girlfriend." Wanda sobbingly said as she held my hand.
"There, you're making promises once again. How many time did you promise me that you'll make it up to me? at first you'll make such effort but eventually, you'll stop and forget about it. I don't even know if I can trust anything that's coming out of your mouth right now." I said and walked away from her, "It hurts me to think that we can't share this part of our lives together with those who are important to us. Am I not important to you? Do you not trust me? Or is it just too scary to go against the norm? I can't keep pretending not to be in love with you when we're around others. I want to hold your hand, introduce you to my friends and family, and just be able to love you openly without any fear or shame." I added.
"I don't understand." Wanda said.
I chuckled, "I know you don't."
"Do you want to end this? Us?" She asked with fears in her eyes.
I stayed quiet for few seconds thinking what I really want before looking back at her meeting her eyes, "Yes." I husked out causing more tears to fall out of her eyes.
"I'm just so tired, Wanda. I'm tired of the stress and the pressure that surrounds us every day. I'm tired of asking 'how long?' I'm tired of feeling like there's never enough time to do everything we want to do. I'm tired of constantly feeling like we're not doing enough, or that we're falling short somehow. Most of all, I'm tired of feeling disconnected from you. It feels like you've been so busy, so caught up in your own life, that you don't take the time to connect with me. I miss those intimate moments where we could just talk about anything and everything, and I feel like we don't have those as often as we should. It has to be done and I don't want to place blame on anyone— not myself, not you, not anyone else." I walked towards her and wiped her tears before pressing our foreheads together, "I'm sorry, I never thought that this day will come. I'm sorry I got tired and couldn't wait anymore. I love you but I can't be with you anymore. My heart won't start anymore." I finished before lingering a long kiss on her head.
"I love you, Y/N. I'm sorry for not showing it enough. I'm sorry I failed us." She sniffles before looking at me and caressed my cheeks, "I love you… in every universe."
I finally understood that true love isn't always about being together; Sometimes, it's about letting go. Because love alone, wasn't enough.
Both ends of rope were held, but they were held by me, and only me.
I love her too much and that's my biggest mistake I'll never regret, and if I'd ever meet her again in another lifetime, I'll beg the god to let me have you this time.
here's an update for everyone, i'm so sorry for not updating for so long. i hope y'all like this, let me know what you think. enjoy!
#natsgrave#wlw#female reader#imagine#lesbian#x reader#oneshot#angst#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff angst#wanda marvel#wanda maxmoff x y/n#wanda mcu#wlw post#sapphic#elizabeth olsen imagine#elizabeth olsen#fem reader#fanfiction#fanfic#scarlet witch#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda x reader#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#lizzie olsen#natasha romanoff#black widow
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Just thinking about how Chachamaru is a male calico, at least according the Taisho Secret right before chapter 195 that calls him manly. It really doesn't surprise me that he's male, because so many references to calicos I've seen in manga, mascots, and temple architecture specify that the featured calico is male.
This is because they are rare, and therefore considered lucky.
The figure that gets thrown around the internet is that supposedly only 1 in every 3000 calicos is male. (I'll bet the people who did the often quoted study at U. of Minn. College of Vet Med would love to tell you how it's more complicated than that.) This has long made male calicos popular not only in Japan, but in other countries as well. The thing is, though, the male calico might not always be so lucky.
To be very brief about why calicos (and some other multicolored cats) are almost always female, this is because, put very simply, one X chromosome gives us the black splotches, and one X chromosome gives us the orange splotches. That might leave you wondering where the white patches come from, and this is the part where I say that genetics is never simple and you should have fun reading about it. The important takeaway here is that in order to show this color pattern, a cat needs two X chromosomes, one from its mother and one from its father.
Typically, a male cat has an X chromosome (from its female mother, who only has two X chromosomes) and a Y chromosome (from its father, who had both an X and a Y), but because the calico coating can only occur with two X chromosomes, this male cat somehow got an X, a Y, and... hmm, another X somewhere.
So not a typical XY male, not a typical XX calico... this sterile XXY male calico has an extra chromosome, and mutations often are not ideal for the health of the animal with the extra chromosome. This particular condition is Klinefelter’s Syndrome, which can lead to a male calico having cognitive and behavior issues, weaker bones, increased risk of diabetes due to higher body fat, and perhaps a shorter lifespan.
Now, none of the fictitious lucky cats I've seen have ever been portrayed as anything less than smart and pleasant, though a lot of the maneki-neko are pretty round. For everything Chachamaru is tasked with, I have to assume he's above-average when it comes to intelligence, reasonably healthy enough to handle long-distance travel, and for a cat, he's extremely, extremely cooperative.
For the record, the same Taisho Secret (as well as Yushiro's statement in Chapter 194) makes it clear that for most of canon Chachamaru was a regular cat, for he was not made into a demon until right before the final showdown with Muzan. Even with her hands full making the medicine for Muzan, she still put a lot of effort into changing Chachamaru so that Yushiro wouldn't be lonely. It's ironic that Chachamaru winds up immortal, rather than doomed to a potentially shorter lifespan due to his mark...ings.
In the first place, was Tamayo perhaps moved with pity for a sickly kitten and nursed him to the health he's in now?
Or did she always keep her eye out for a male calico, wanting to put some faith in them being good luck?
Also, what sticks out to me in this Taisho Secret is that Chachamaru, not having a language in which he could communicate with Tamayo, had no choice in becoming a demon. Tamayo felt sorry about that. The word bubble over manly little Chachamaru says, with bravado, "Fine by me, if that's what the woman I'm smitten with wishes."
If Chachamaru truly is that smitten with her, that perhaps accounts for what an unusually cooperative cat he is. But it also reminds me of a fan theory that I saw once (and found worthy of weight) which said that perhaps Tamayo's blood technique has an effect like makes others smitten with her, and Yushiro might had been under its influence, however strongly or subtly. If such a thing were the case, it might or might not had been something Tamayo was conscious of. If she was conscious of having some effect like that, she probably felt awful about it but found it a necessary precaution to keep any demon she made under control. If she wasn't conscious of such a thing, that means she might had subconsciously developed it out of loneliness, and had been trying to keep company at her side.
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#2 for the book worm ask game!
(ask game)
2. Favorite fantasy book(s).
(Eeeeexcellent, I do love fantasy books. Though how I'm gonna narrow it to only a few I've got no idea. Okay. I'm going to remove the very obvious choices like Lord of the Rings (though it is one of my faves)).
---
Monstrous Regiment. I love the entire Discworld series (especially The Witches) but I've also got a huge soft spot in my heart for Terry Pratchett's take on 'a girl dresses like a boy to go to war' (and thinks of everything except some spare socks in- erm... the right place). Along with Polly, the squad consists of a vampire, a troll, an Igor, a religious fanatic and two very, very close "friends" (and yes, the official summary put the friends in quotes too). And everyone has their own secret.
I love basically everything about this book and I can't tell you guys any of it because it would spoil all the fun.
The Goblin Emperor. This one's a story filled with light. Maia the half goblin son of the elven Emperor was never supposed to take the throne (or to ever even be at court. because racism). And then everyone ahead of him dies in a single "accident" and suddenly he's the new Emperor. Maia is a good person, and a kind one, and despite everything that gets thrown at him he keeps hold of that understanding of right and wrong and refuses to bend.
(I have to mention that the language of the writing is kinda hard to get into in the beginning, and the characters's have very complicated and long names, but once you get into it it really did enhance the story for me).
Good Omens. An Angel and a Demon try to stop the apocalypse and instead lose the Antichrist. I've loved that book for like a decade now and if I don't put it on a list of my faves that list would be a lie.
The King of Attolia. Third in The Queen's Thief series and my favorite one out of all of them. I've always enjoyed Outsider POV in fics. And here is a book that just... proves why. We've got Eugenides and Irene, the Thief and the Queen, and we know them from the two previous books. And adore them. But the story isn't from their POV, it's from the POV of Costis, a Queen's guard who's suddenly gotten assigned to the King. The useless, weak, undeserving king that as far as Costis is concerned doesn't deserve to even kiss the Queen's boots. And it's hilarious to read the story from the eyes of someone who knows so much less than us. And so satisfying, as he begins to understand.
(I recommend the whole series and am personally glad to have read them in the published order but Megan Whalen Turner has stated that she wrote them in a way that allows you to jump in at any point you want).
The Raven Tower. The story is from the viewpoint of a sentient, omniscient rock whose name is Strength and Patience of the Hill and it is the GREATEST THING EVER. The gods are real and must be very careful with their words, because if they speak a lie the reality will alter to make that lie the truth but if the lie is bigger than the power of the god... well. Inspired by Hamlet.
(the book also has a trans man as the main character; the other main character? The sentient rock is the narrator but the largest part of the story focuses on Eolo).
A Natural History of Dragons. The first book from The Memoirs of Lady Trent (and honestly it would probably be more honest to say that every single book from this series fits the category of fave but I'm putting up the first here because this isn't a series where you should skip ahead). The book focuses on the life of Isabella as narrated by her older self. This is the story how a Scirland lady bucked all tradition and became a world renowned expert on the Natural History of Dragons.
(this series has a piece of my heart and always will).
---
(and finally, here's some more of my favorite fantasy books that I also adore and would totally ramble about but I got tired of typing).
#monstrous regiment#the goblin emperor#good omens#the king of attolia#the raven tower#a natural history of dragons#discworld#terry pratchett#katherine addison#neil gaiman#the queen's thief#megan whalen turner#ann leckie#the memoirs of lady trent#marie brennan#fantasy books#book rec#book recs#book asks#ask game#ask meme#answers#tinynavajo#terapsina rambles#terapsina's book rambles
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Hewooo~ ✨️❤️This time i wanted to official ask you~ 🙈🤭 But first: how are you? I hope youre fine❤️✨️ Your writing of my request was just ....WOWW so so cute and warming~😘❤️Hgn....and it and the umbrella quote made me think of Rizzley finding us in Fontain, maybe in a small break of his, in rain holding an umbrella for us~✨️🤭🙈 hheheheehh~ please have a nice dayyyyyy/night/morning💕😘
Omg. First off, I am so sorry this took so long to finish! I had a first draft that I just didn't like as much so I scrapped it and started a new prompt. Second, I'm doing okay! I'm ready for spring break because I've been needing a break from work and classes. Thank you for asking🥺❤️ I'm glad you liked my writing for your request! I just liked your idea that I wanted to write for it and I always love hearing other people's thoughts on Wrio🥰 I hope this makes up for the long wait for this request! Maybe I'll redo the first draft I had for this prompt and post it separately but I'll have to see. Enjoy!~
~warnings: none, just fluff!
Let's say you're out and about shopping when suddenly it began to rain, causing you to quickly find shelter under a awning in front of a boutique. While waiting for the rain to stop so you could finally head home, you begin to sneeze and shiver due to your wet clothes that got soaked when you got caught in the unexpected rain. As you rub your arms to get some warmth, you hear someone call your name. You look up and your eyes land on Wriothesley. He's standing out in the middle of the main street, holding an umbrella to shelter himself from the rain. He walks over to you, curious as to why you're out in the cold. "What are you doing out her?"
"I was shopping and got caught in the rain. I didn't even think to bring my umbrella with me when I left my house this morning." You sneeze, still shivering from your cold, wet clothes. He noticed your appearance and how you had your arms wrapped around yourself as you shivered. He moved next to you under the awning, setting his umbrella down so he could take his coat off. He places it onto your shoulders, wrapping it around you. He rubs his hands down your arms, trying to help you warm up. You blushed, eyes wide at his unexpected actions. You've know Wriothesley for while now and you two were great friends. You knew how kind he was, but what threw you off guard was the intimate act of closeness. This was something you usually read about in the romance novels you secretly read in your free time. You couldn't help but blush at the thought of Wriothesley and you being a couple. Your head began to swarm with thoughts of 'Did he have feelings for you? No, of course he didn't. You two were only friends and he was just doing what any good friend would do.'
You were so caught up in your thoughts, you didn't notice that you've been staring at Wriothesley the whole time. His voice finally breaks you from your thoughts when he calls your name. "Hm what?"
"I said, you feeling warmer?" He chuckles "Oh! Yes I am. Thank you Wriothesley, but you should take your jacket back. You'll get sick in this rain." You began to slip his coat off , but he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders. "I'll be fine. You need it more than me." He reasons while pulling the coat around you more. You end up accepting his kind gesture without further argument. You tug his coat closer to you, snuggling into it while smiling and blushing at his sweet gesture. "Thanks Wrio." As you thank him, you give him a soft look with that cute smile of yours that he looks so much.
He clears his throat, averting his gaze as he turns his head to hide the slight redness in his cheeks. "It's no issue. Come on. I'll walk you home." He grabs his umbrella , opening it to cover the both of you as you go out into the rain. He suddenly wraps his strong arm around you, pulling you close to him. You're surprised by his unexpected gesture which he notices by the look on your face. "The umbrella's not that big so you need to stand close to me so you don't get soaked again." You nod your head and move your body closer to his. Even though it was cold from the weather, you could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Not only that but you could also feel the hardness of his muscles through his clothes. You didn't know how much redder your cheeks could get. Wriothesley was also lost in his thoughts. He was enjoying the closeness of your body to his. Despite the reason he gave you, a part of him may have used it as an excuse to put his arm around you and hold you close.
While walking in silence, you decide to break it. "What are you doing up here Wriothesley?" It's a bit odd to see the Duke of Meropide on the surface."
"I had a meeting with Monsieur Neuvillette. Did you not like running into me up here?" He teases. "Of course not. I always enjoy seeing you. Plus if I didn't run into you, I probably would have freezed to death." You exaggerate. You both chuckle, but he can't help but notice the way his heart beats faster and the excitement that fills his body at your confession of how you enjoy seeing him. He plays along and continues his teasing. "I suppose that makes me your hero." You laugh as he smiles, enjoying the sound of your beautiful laugh. "My hero. How shall I ever repay you."
"How about having tea with me?" You two usually had tea together, but you couldn't help but feel that his offer was more than a tea date between friends. You ignore the feelings and accept his offer. "I would love to." You smile at one another. You two continue your walk to your home, sharing laughs and conversation as you near your home.
#wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley headcanons#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact headcanons#wriothesley fluff#genshin impact fluff
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hi babes i hope YOU MISSED MY SUPER DETAILED REQUESTS! so, for a long time now im craving for the “rut”, “heat”, “nest” and other a/b/o dynamics inserted on avatar universe, so i WAS HOPING:
could you pretty please write something about lo’ak and reader (a female na’vi) where they're best friends and both insanely in love w each other – reader already had her "cerimony" meaning she needs to find a partner soon, but lo'ak has been convincing readers parents to decline any mate offers because none of them is good enough for her. one day, reader's heat come and bsf lo’ak comes to the rescue? i need a cocky possessive lo’ak in my life and I KNOW you're the one whos gonna gimme !!!!!
lov u, drink water and stay safe <3
The Right Profile | Lo'ak x fem!Omaticaya! reader (a/b/o smut).
Happy Valentine's Day to all my readers! As always, requests are open. Minors DNI!
A.N= everyone needs to know that every time you send me a request my mind makes me put everything on standby until I get it done. Also, I have a major weakness for a/b/o and I've been dying for someone to send me a request like this, so yeah, your wish is my command. For anyone who wanted the new installment of Star-crossed instead of this, you can send your complaints to @punkrockrogers (I'm kidding, obviously).
Summary: exactly what's in the request but I found some juicy canon info about Lo'ak failing to tame an ikran on his first attempt and almost dying in the process, and you can bet I'm going to use that for this fic. So, our boi failed his driver's test therefore he does not get to smash. Both Lo'ak and reader are aged up (20 y/o). Title from the song 'The right profile' by the Clash. Quotes in this: one is from Avatar 2009 and the other is by Goethe.
T.W= this is going to be A LOT, if there ever were an Omegaverse phd course, I would be teaching that class, so if that stuff is not for you, scroll away now. NSFW: p. in v., a/b/o dynamics, mating cycles (heat, rut), marking, scent marking, knotting, breeding, also possessive!Lo'ak (our boi is a lil ooc in this, I don't condone this type of behavior in a relationship, it's all for the sake of the story, you know the drill, if this might be disturbing to you, again give this story a miss).
word count: 8k
Mini na'vi dictionary:
'evi= child (said affectionately by an elder)
Tsurokx= rest/sleep
yawne= beloved
syulang= flower
Ngaytxoa= forgive me
Oeya= my (possessive)
yìmkxa= banshee catcher
The Na'vi say that every person is born twice. The second time is when you earn your place among the people, forever.
"I do not wish to take part in the Uniltaron without you." Y/n had told Lo'ak, still distraught from the events of that day. His best friend had been the first of their group to manage to tame her ikran, of course, she had. And now she was set to take part in the Dream Hunt before finally taking her rightful place among the people along with the rest of Lo'ak's peers, while he was left behind.
He had failed and almost fallen to his death during his attempt, and now his parents were going to make him wait until he was 'truly ready' before he could try again. His father had thought it was somehow his business to step in and stop him from trying his second attempt at taming the banshee then and there. Lo'ak had never felt more embarrassed, especially because y/n had immediately dismounted from her ikran and run to his aid the second she'd seen the scene unfold before her eyes.
"You have already waited five years for me to complete my training..." Lo'ak dismissed her words. "And I won't be the reason you wait any longer..." Y/n had never said it out loud, but Lo'ak knew it was true. She'd been postponing her rite of passage so that they would have joined the clan together, and he couldn't deal with it anymore.
"But Lo'ak, I do not care about-"
"Well, you should care." He snapped at her, not really knowing where his anger was coming from. Sure, he'd just had what could have been described as the worst day of his life, but something and been simmering inside him all week. And now Lo'ak felt like he'd reached his limit. In a few hours, the young Na'vi male was going to discover that anger was only a prelude to his first rut. "Everything comes easy to you, but it's like you don't even notice! No one ever said we needed to be attached to the hip for the rest of our lives, so why don't you just get over it and do what's expected of you?"
The second he saw the heartbroken look on y/n's face, Lo'ak wanted to take it all back. He hadn't meant to say any of those things, of course he hadn't. She was his best friend, she was the woman he loved, yet he'd passed up his chances to ever be with her twice in a single day. He was petty and weak, unable to own up to his own shortcomings, and now he was taking it out on the only person in the world who would have never judged him for it.
"I see..." Y/n said, her voice laced with grief. For a single, stupid second Lo'ak had deluded himself into thinking she was about to say 'I see you', it was what he wanted to tell her. He'd been wanting to tell her for so long. "I have... been foolish. I thought that maybe you... that we..." Y/n wiped a tear away from her face, and stepped back from Lo'ak when he tried to reach out for her. "I do not need your pity." She hissed at him, feeling that Lo'ak had just rejected her. "You have made yourself understood."
With that, y/n disappeared from Lo'ak sight and into the darkness of the night. By the time Neteyam found him, Lo'ak was already in the throes of a terrible fever. His father and brother took him to a secluded place where he would have been safe, but couldn't do much for him besides that. Moat had said the rut hit Lo'ak so suddenly that he was beyond being helped with any sort of treatment. He had no mate, and neither did he have the right to choose one. Left alone to endure the most excruciating pain known to the Omaticaya people.
A lot could change in a week. Especially when it came to things taking a drastic turn for the worse. Lo'ak, who was still experiencing the occasional violent aftershock from the trauma he'd just finished enduring all by himself, was about to get accustomed to a whole new kind of pain.
"We seek your guidance, Tsahik." Y/n's parents had come to speak to his grandmother, while she was still in the process of checking he hadn't suffered any irreparable damage during his absence. "Our daughter, y/n, does not wish to wait for love to find her. She has invoked the old ways, asking us to choose a mate for her." Another violent fit wreaked havoc over Lo'ak's body, but this time he wasn't entirely sure it was due to the aftermath of his rut. Moat had told him the worst was now behind him. "Cease your whining, 'evi." She reprimanded him. "Only by regaining your strength will you find the way to be whole again." While that statement sounded overtly obvious to him, the look his grandmother gave him made him think she was trying to tell him something more.
"Forgive us, we have come at a bad time." Y/n's mother said, directing her sympathies to Lo'ak. They had always been kind toward him. "Your grandson is still injured, y/n has been heartbroken about it. We have prayed to Eywa every day for your swift recovery-"
"He has recovered." Moat cut her off. "And your daughter cannot force her childish whims on you. She is a woman, a warrior of this clan, she cannot hide behind her parents. We only arrange the marriages of future Tsahik and Olo'eyktan, for they are given gifts by Eywa herself to guide the people. The old ways have brought nothing but suffering, I remember the time when they were enforced all too well. They are only to be invoked in drastic situations, such as the event of a heat."
"We are grateful for your wisdom, Tsahik." Y/n father said. "But that is precisely what we fear... she is already showing signs. Every day our daughter grows weaker. We know she may not survive without a mate, and now it is too late for her to make her own choice."
"Fools." Moat almost spat. "Bring her to me at once-"
Lo'ak was on his feet and running out of the healing tent at once, no longer willing to listen to a single word of that conversation. Mating cycles were usually something that a couple faced together, but he and y/n had waited too long for their rite of passage. In that time they hadn't found the person who was truly right for them, so now y/n was going to force herself to be with someone or face her heat alone, along with the consequences that entailed. And it wasn't like Lo'ak could step up and ask her parents to marry her, he wasn't even part of the clan. Not only that, y/n also probably thought he wanted nothing to do with her.
He went looking for y/n everywhere. She wasn't in her tent, nor was she staying with her parents. Word was she'd gone hunting, and after a desperate search, Lo'ak ended up finding her in his own living quarters when he returned home in the early hours of the morning. As much as Lo'ak wanted to yell at y/n in frustration because he'd been worried sick over her, the sight of her sleeping peacefully quelled his anger. He knelt down to touch her forehead, and let out a breath of relief. Her body temperature hadn't drastically risen just yet.
Lo'ak took a look around and only then noticed y/n had rounded up the entirety of his possessions to surround herself with in her sleep. She had made a bed out of the skins and paintings which used to adorn the inside of his tent while holding on rather tightly to a piece of fabric he quickly recognized as one of his loincloths. He felt himself turn into a deep shade of blue in the face and attempted to gently tug the item out of her grip, but y/n growled menacingly in her sleep, immediately making Lo'ak give up on his intent. He did not wish to wake her. Not when it was clear she'd been so distressed, she'd felt the need to make herself a nest just to feel safe.
"Tsurokx, yawne..." Lo'ak wished her a good sleep, and went to tell her family she'd been found.
Her parents were thankful, and just because Lo'ak was not allowed to catch a single break, it turned out y/n parents trusted him so much they began to ask him his personal opinion on the skxawngs that had already shown up to ask them to be her mate. Lo'ak respected y/n's parents and knew they were only worried about their daughter, but he was running on zero hours of sleep, and the image of y/n curled up in a nest she'd made of his belongings was still too fresh in his mind, so he let his worst side get the better of him. He lied. Something so deeply human, his people did not even have a word for it.
"...I would not even consider Selkath, he is too arrogant to even see past himself..."
"Pantoran is weak, I would not trust him to provide for your daughter..."
"... I have known Skakoan to have used cruel words against y/n. She does not deserve her..."
The more he spoke, the more Lo'ak realized he was describing himself and the way he had treated y/n, not giving a true judgment of his peers. And her parents were trusting him with that information, even though he had absolutely no authority to be judging anyone. But there was no reason to worry, a fresh batch of idiots would have shown up to declare their 'love' soon enough, over and over again until eventually someone was found.
Lo'ak slept on the cold hard ground just outside his tent, barely getting an hour's sleep before the day began for the rest of the clan.
"Showing your worth to the clan, as usual, Su-ly?" A voice Lo'ak knew all too well asked, as he was 'accidentally' stepped on and woken up. Tholothian had never been too shy about disliking Lo'ak, and the feeling was entirely mutual. "Watch where you're going, Tho'lo." He growled as he stood up, certainly not in the mood to be taking anyone's crap. The other Na'vi was also standing entirely too close to the tent where y/n was currently resting, and Lo'ak was about the get real territorial real fast if the skxawng didn't back off. The low rumble in his throat was still there, and Lo'ak was making it very clear he was not to be messed with at that moment.
Tholothian, who thrived off humiliating the younger Sully brother in any way possible, had to take a step back. Lo'ak had been missing for an entire week, and now that he was back, he seemed to have doubled in size. He was taller, his shoulders wider, his once delicate-looking human hands bigger, and his muscles considerably more defined. And his entire demeanor also seemed... different, menacing almost. Never before would he have considered Lo'ak Sully competition, least of all a threat. So he decided to back off, for the time being at least.
What he wanted was y/n, and Lo'ak couldn't claim her. There was no pride in kicking someone down when they had already lost. Or was there? "I was just on my way to see, y/n..." Tholothian gloated, knowing it was a sore subject for Lo'ak. "You must have heard... she is searching for a mate..." The look on Lo'ak face darkened considerably, and it would have been a lie not to admit he was reaching for his dagger to challenge Tho'lo to a duel and see which of them could draw first blood, when y/n audibly called Lo'ak's name from inside the tent.
Tholothian paled considerably when he heard y/n call out to his rival and Lo'ak smirked, basking in the pride he felt at that moment. Y/n was probably waiting inside to give him an earful about disappearing for a week, but Tho'lo didn't know that. "Yeah, man. I heard." He sneered, his cocky attitude back in full swing. "I'd wish you luck, but I think it'd be fairer if I gave you a little advice instead..." Lo'ak lowered his voice and pointed his dagger in the direction of Tho'lo chest. "If you, or anyone of your friends, come sniffing after y/n again, just know you're going to have to get through me first." He snarled, showing a full set of teeth, before heading back inside to see y/n.
"Hey..."
"Hey? That's all you have to say?" At least she was still lucid enough to be mad at him, Lo'ak thought. There was still time. Y/n threw the first thing she could find at his head, but Lo'ak managed to dodge it. "Where were you?"
"I was sick." Lo'ak said, and cautiously sat down next to her. He didn't know how else to describe what he'd been through, without inadvertently bringing up her own situation.
"Sick?" Y/n asked, still not understanding why he'd been away from home if he'd been ill.
"I'm sorry I missed your ceremony." Lo'ak said truthfully, the regret clear in his voice, even though he'd just avoided her question. "And the dream hunt, and all of it... the reason why doesn't matter, I should have been there for you."
Y/n hugged her knees to her chest, her worry not subsiding at all. What could have been so bad, Lo'ak couldn't even tell her about it?
"So... you're going to be mated soon..." Lo'ak didn't even know why he said it, other than the fact he was always the one to break the silence and say the things others wouldn't. "Why are you making your parents choose for you?" He asked when she didn't respond. "Y/n you know that's stupid..."
"What? Now honoring our traditions is stupid?" Y/n snapped at him, barely leaving any distance between them. "Weren't you the one who said I acted like I didn't care? That I should start doing what's expected of me?" She threw his words back in his face and Lo'ak immediately understood how the entire insane idea of an arranged marriage had come to her in the first place. He'd made her feel less than worthy, like she wasn't grateful enough to be part of the people, and now she was trying to make up for it, even though it was never true in the first place.
"Y/n... I never should have said those words... I wasn't myself that day, you have to believe me..." Lo'ak implored her, but it wasn't enough to keep the tears from rushing down her face.
"Well, it doesn't matter now..." Y/n kept half the truth to herself. She'd childishly thought that Lo'ak would have tried to prevent her from her recklessness and chosen her himself. But clearly, it had been a fantasy. "Lo'ak, I know what's happening to me... and I'm scared, I don't know what's worse, facing it alone or...or..."
Lo'ak pulled y/n into his arms then, holding her close as he felt her tremble against his chest. "You won't have to face this on your own, and... and I'll make sure you'll be with someone worthy, who'll take good care of you..." His words were like daggers to her chest, because there was no one else she could ever want besides him, yet she understood Lo'ak was trying his best to comfort her. Y/n buried her face in the crook of Lo'ak's neck, breathing in his scent. It was a lot stronger now, and only at that point did she realize so many things about his appearance had changed.
There were two small glands, one on either side of his neck, where his scent seemed to be strongest, and she was suddenly overcome by the need to be covered in it. Y/n began to purr softly, rubbing her face against Lo'ak's neck, not really knowing what she was doing other than chasing after the feeling of comfort and protection that came along with dousing herself in Lo'ak pheromones. "What are you doing, y/n?" Her bestfriend asked, his voice sounding considerably deeper than it had been a few seconds ago. "Feels nice." Was the entirety of the explanation she gave him, without showing any intention of stopping. Not that Lo'ak wanted her too.
He suddenly understood why she'd come to his tent in the first place, and that was to seek out whatever still held his scent, to numb out any feverish symptoms her pre-heat was going to throw at her. Lo'ak knew they were treading a dangerous line, but he also knew he would have given anything to have felt any sort of comfort during his rut, and he couldn't bring himself to tear himself away from her. The type of contact y/n was craving at that moment was completely harmless, yet the idea that she needed to be marked with his scent so badly made a Lo'ak feel possessive in a way he hadn't even known was possible. "Yeah? Is that what's been stressing you out, baby?" He cooed, wrapping her braid around his hand and tugging it softly. "You just wanted to breathe in my scent, didn't you?"
Y/n whined at his touch and nodded feverishly at his words. "Y-yes... I missed you, and I didn't know where you were. I just knew you were hurt..." She rambled, but Lo'ak kissed her temple, trying to let her know that there was no need to worry about him. "I'm right here, I'm sorry I was away. I let you down. I should have been here to help you with your nest. Look at this, you did it all by yourself, huh? Good girl." Lo'ak praised her, letting out a deep-sounding purr to let y/n know how impressed he was with her. Y/n nodded, smiling as she basked in Lo'ak's praise. "I did it for you, I wanted to be here when you got back..."
Lo'ak had to remind himself all he was doing was for the sake of helping y/n deal with how increasingly hormonal and emotional she was about to become over the next few days, and nothing that was saying in that moment held any real meaning. Somebody else would get to take care of y/n, and somehow he'd ended up on the council of people who got to determine who that person was going to be. As long as he kept his own feelings out of it, there was no reason why y/n shouldn't have stayed with him.
"Thank you, baby..." Lo'ak whispered softly and brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her wrist. "I'm going out to get you something to eat now, do you want to come? Or do want to stay here?"
"No." Y/n wrapped herself around him like a vine. "Stay."
"Huh-uh, it's like that, is it?" Lo'ak chuckled, powerless against her death-grip. So he took the opportunity to have a lie down. Unlike y/n, he was missing several hours of sleep. "Well, I'm not going to argue with the woman who has me in a choke-hold... and sleeping will do you some good too..." He sighed, resting his arms around her middle. It didn't take long for Lo'ak to pass out completely.
When Lo'ak woke up, y/n seemed to have been long gone. Someone had also brought him some food and water while he'd been resting. Lo'ak hurriedly ate something, before heading out to look for y/n, but he didn't end up needing to look too far. Moat had been in the middle of examining y/n when Lo'ak showed up out of the blue.
"Ever heard of privacy? Get out of here, skxawng!" Y/n yelled at him, and Lo'ak immediately did as he was told. At least y/n seemed to be once again lucid and back to normal. For the time being. And now that he knew she was alright he really didn't have any other excuse to be around her, so he left.
Lo'ak finally found the time to get back to his training, something he now did in private. It was embarrassing to perpetually remind the rest of the clan of his failure, and he would not ask his father or brother for help. His mother however, was a lot more difficult to get away from. And she understood more than most. "My son, it is clear you are hurting... we have not seen you for days... "
"So? What good is showing my face when I have failed you?" Lo'ak turned away in shame. He did not need anyone to look out for him, not anymore.
"Stubborn! Just like your father." Neytiri hissed at him, bonking him on his head with her bow and not too gently either. "It is clear... that Eywa made you and y/n to be together. Do not treat me as if I do not see. I see you, my son."
Lo'ak broke down as soon as he heard those words. It was true, he had been pushing his family away, but simply because he hadn't thought himself capable of facing them. What would his mother think of the twisted game he'd gotten himself in? What kind of example was he setting for his younger sister? He didn't deserve to be around any of them until he somehow managed to make things right.
Neytiri hugged him, even though it was something they hadn't done in a long time. She had immediately known how strong and independent her youngest son was from a very early age, and she feared that it may have been the reason why, out of all of her children, he'd most often been left to his own devices while she and Jake were forced to tend to the others.
"You have not failed us, Lo'ak. But you must still fight for y/n... and I will help you."
The next few days went by in a blur. If he wasn't training with his mother to successfully pass the Iknimaya on his second try, he was making sure to steer away y/n's parents from any candidates they may have seriously been considering to be her mate without seeming too obvious. If a certain potential candidate began to seem like a real threat to Lo'ak, then he would personally seek them out to politely dissaude them himself.
"If you ever try to talk to y/n, ke-he, you ever even look in her direction or... you just as much as think of her again, I'm dragging you out of your tent while you sleep and leaving you out to die in the forest. And trust me, the viperwolves will finish whatever meat the Thanator doesn't tear off your bones first."
The Na'vi might have been dangerous, but they were a peaceful people. Humans had been the ones to bring war upon them. And Lo'ak had begun to realize just how much of a scary breed he was of the two things. He was now turning on his own kind, on the very same members of his clan, his brothers and sisters. He was cheating and lying to get his way, just like a human would. And the scariest part was, that realization was bothering him less and less as time went on. Y/n's heat was approaching fast, and as a consequence, he was getting more protective and territorial by the day.
While y/n had been able to keep her head in the beginning, only going through a few 'fever dreams', as Lo'ak liked to call them, in a single day and quickly recovering from them, it was now rare to come back and find her to be lucid rather than not. She had a few lulls, here and there, where it was once again possible to get her to have a coherent conversation, but those instances were now few and far in between. Lo'ak would have to seize those opportunities to take her out so she could have a walk, drink or eat something, and show her parents she was still alive. One night he'd even managed to take her all the way out to the ponds for a swim, something she'd always loved, but she was way past that point now.
Y/n slept most of the days off; the nights were the real problem. Due to her body temperature slowly increasing to the point where it was eventually going to be unbearable for her, y/n had taken to refusing to wear any sort of clothing. Which was particularly hard on Lo'ak, especially since her body was also changing in ways that weren't so subtle. As much as he tried not to look, it seemed as if both her breasts and her hips were filling out little by little each day. By that point, he was sure it was some specific torture that had been crafted for him especially, but it all came to pale into comparison when most nights were spent treating the aches of y/n's fever.
"You need to drink some water for me, baby..." Lo'ak would try to encourage her. "I promise you'll feel a lot better if you do..." Y/n was struggling, and Lo'ak was thankful for the fact that after making a bit of a fuss she would eventually listen to him. He couldn't think of a single other person who would've had the same amount of care and patience to make sure she was eating and drinking regularly throughout her heat, and there was hardly any time left before she was completely under the influence. A decision was going to be made whether he liked it or not.
The only problem was that now, he didn’t know if he was going to be able to stand aside when the time came for her to leave. The two of them had gotten somewhat... close during their time together. Close in a way that Lo'ak was certain didn't apply to being best friends. Y/n had suffered a great deal the night her scent glands came in, two on her neck, two on her inner thighs, and one on each of her wrists, and Lo'ak had almost mistaken the event for the beginning of her heat. The sweetness of her scent had him so out of his mind, and he would have torn himself away from her if she hadn't been holding on to him for dear life. "Don't go, Lo'ak, please..." y/n had begged him through choked sobs.
Lo'ak still didn't know if he'd made the right choice to stay, because of everything that happened afterward. He peppered y/n's skin with kisses as usual, trying to bring her comfort, only this time the need to taste and sink his teeth into her was almost uncontrollable. "Y/n, I don't think I should be here..." Lo'ak tried to say, having never felt so at war with himself. Y/n shook her head and caught his lips in a kiss, completely tearing down any ounce of doubt he may have still had. For the time being. The fact that she was promised to another suddenly didn't matter anymore, and the two of them were painfully aware y/n had been dripping with slick from the moment Lo'ak had pulled her into his arms. They were all over each other instantly, reaching desperately for one another in the dark. The sound y/n made when he breached her walls was the most beautiful thing Lo'ak had ever heard, and they fucked so desperately, he was almost ashamed of it afterward.
Almost.
"I told you, my sweet syulang..." He teased, regretfully having to pull out of her for the second time. "You're not ready to take my— a knot, I mean..." Lo'ak kissed her whines away, only taking a few more strokes before coating her belly will his warm seed. "But I want to try again, weakling..." Y/n huffed, having absolutely no mercy for her spent companion as she climbed on top of him. Lo'ak let out a groan and a laugh at the same time, pulling her in for a hug. "You have come so many times, I am literally covered in your slick... and since you're clearly in the right mind to give me attitude..." he pinched y/n's ass cheek and she yelped, slapping his chest. "You're more than capable to come with me for a swim and... help me clean up all this later..." Y/n had bit him in protest but eventually complied with his unreasonable demands.
In those moments with her, Lo'ak had felt so happy he'd almost forgotten what the future actually had in store for the two of them. Even though now he knew y/n so deeply, both at a mental and physical level, another would be the one to marry her. Another would the one to make a lifelong bond with her, mark her and mate with her.
'Sometimes I don't understand how another can love her, is allowed to love her, since I love her so completely myself, so intensely, so fully. I grasp nothing, know nothing, have nothing but her!' Kiri had once read out those words from one of her mother's old books, since the ability to read and write in English had always been important to his sister. At the time, Lo'ak had made fun of her, saying it was all a bunch of boring nonsense. Now, those words haunted him. Every day. And here he was now, acting in the worst of ways just to hold on to y/n for just a second longer, have every part of her until the was nothing left for anyone else to aspire to.
When he walked into the tent that night, y/n was sitting upright and wearing a large white T-shirt Lo'ak had stolen from the RDA supplies. Lo'ak was happy to see she was doing her best to eat some fruit, and the awkward smile she gave him made him understand she currently had her wits about her. "Moat came by... she said it will happen tomorrow... and she gave me... something to help with the pain. Medicine, I think. She told me... my mate will have to take me away. I can't stay here with the rest of the clan while it happens, it might be dangerous-"
Lo'ak shook his head, raising his hands as he tried not to laugh bitterly at the sadness of the situation. How could she talk about it so calmy?
"I don't want to know, okay?" He tried to say as calmly as he could, but she could hear the distaste in his mouth.
"If you can't even talk about it, then admit what I've known all along." Y/n managed to say in a weak voice. "Lo'ak, I see you... I see you... everything you're doing for me, because of me..."
Lo'ak's ears immediately turned down at the sound of the words he'd been waiting for y/n to say his entire life. His immediate instinct was to shut her out. Now that he wanted nothing more than to say those words back, he knew he was only going to make irreparable damage. He'd justified the fact they'd been having sex in secret because it wasn't uncommon for their people to do so, nor forbidden. The only problem of course was that he and y/n were painfully aware of being in love with someone who couldn't commit to them. They had chosen to live in the most blissful of lies until their time together was up.
Well, that time was now.
"Spend my heat with me." Y/n said, not even posing it as a question.
"I can't! How hasn't that gotten through to you yet?" He asked angrily, hating himself for the way she instinctively flinched at his words. Lo'ak got down on his knees, kneeling in front of her. "Ngaytxoa." He asked y/n for her forgiveness. "Oeya syulang, you deserve to be with someone who has shown enough strength and honor to be part of the people... If we'd only had more time, I... but you cannot face your heat alone, nor will I allow you to tie yourself to someone who is not worthy. Who may never be." Y/n had begun to cry at this point, and Lo'ak could feel that he'd been joining her soon. "An outcast. Someone like me."
Simply put, if Lo'ak had spent y/n's heat with her, got her pregnant, and then ended up dying on the Halleluja mountains on his second or third attempt at his Rite of passage, not to mention the unpredictableness of surviving the Dream Hunt as well, he would have committed the cruelest act of all: giving his mate false hope before leaving them behind forever, all for the sake of getting what he wanted.
"You are... impossible..." Y/n cried. "You say these words, therefore you must believe I deserve to be with someone I do not love when I have already chosen the man I belong to and he has chosen me... do you not understand that would kill me just as much as being alone would? I know you went through your rut alone, Lo'ak... I know you went through that pain and survived, Moat told me. I am willing to take that risk, and wait for you."
Lo'ak looked into her eyes then, and it seemed to y/n he was having a realization. Had she finally gotten through to him? She knew her chances of survival were slim, and she hadn't exactly prepared, but after finding out Lo'ak loved her as much as she did, he would sooner risk her life to be happy with him in the end than choose someone else.
Suddenly he was grabbing her face and kissing her, pulling away just as quickly. "I'll be back by morning... there's something... important I have to do." Lo'ak saw the look of distress on her face as he stood up. In many ways, I would have been their last night together, and he was leaving. "Trust me, syulang, I beg of you. Nga yawne lu oer."
"I love you, too."
And with that, he was gone from her sight.
As he climbed the path of vines and rocks leading to the banshee rookery, Lo'ak wondered if anyone had ever managed to reach the Halleluja mountains past the eclipse in the dead of night. If that person, whoever they may have been, had been so desperate to have made the attempt even though everyone around them had said they were not ready, because it was a question of life and death for them as much as it was for him. After the initial surprise of having made it to the top, he was immediately aware of a dozen pairs of yellow eyes blinking at him in the dark.
Lo'ak immediately whipped out the yìmkxa, swinging it around a little as he cautiously walked amongst the ikrans. "Didn't mean to spoil your beauty sleep..." He said, counting how many of them had already flown away at the sight of him. "There's just one of you I've come to settle the score with, some motherfucker who threw me off a cliff the other day-"
A very familiar hiss came from out of nowhere and Lo'ak now knew he was looking back at his banshee. "Long time no see bro, I sure hope I didn't ruin any late-night plans." The ikran lunged at him but Lo'ak knew exactly what to do this time, and moved without hesitancy, muzzling the creature's mouth with the yìmkxa. "Me? Oh you know, my girl is going through the worst experience of her life--- shit, stop that, man--- where was I? Oh right, I'm supposed to be back home with her, yet I'm out here, dancing around with you. Bet you can't wait to get inside this head, huh? Hope you enjoy all the angst, you mother-"
With a final struggle and a minor chunk taken out of his leg, Lo'ak was able to make the connection. The ikran, his ikran, immediately calmed down and let out a pained sound, that Lo'ak recognized as being directed at him.
"Yeah, well... no worries bro." He sighed from exhaustion and patted the banshee's neck. "Now let's get out of here, I don't have all goddammed night."
By the early hours of the morning, Lo'ak had returned aching from the fight with the ikran and still disoriented from the self-induced high he'd given himself with whatever concoctions he'd found in his grandmother's hut to make himself find his spirit animal. No matter what anybody said, he'd completed his rite of passage and now he was going to tell y/n they could be together. Y/n however, was not where he'd left her. Moat found him soon after, and after reprimanding him for stealing her supplies and acting so recklessly, she told him y/n's parents had chosen Tholothian to be her mate and they had left not even an hour prior to Lo'ak's arrival. The Na'vi, much to his grandmother's protests, immediately set off to find them.
With the sunlight by his side and the ability to fly over the forest, it didn't take long for Lo'ak to recognize Tho'lo's ikran resting on top of a branch and its rider wandering the forest below.
"I thought I told you to stay away from her." Lo'ak snarled, quickly dismounting from his ikran.
"Stay out of this, Sully. The fact that you did the bare minimum this time, doesn't get you a prize." Tho'lo took a threatening stance against him. Lo'ak immediately noticed his bow and dagger were missing, and that he had a large cut across his chest. "Y/n was left in my care and responsibility-"
"She attacked you." Lo'ak accused Tho'lo, charging at him with everything he had the very next second. "What did you do?" He roared with a murderous look in his eyes as he held his knife to his rival's throat. "What could you have possibly done to her to leave you stranded out here, huh?"
"What I have done? What have you done, Lo'ak?" Tho'lo accused him back, sounding all too calm for Lo'ak's liking. "She has clearly chosen you, I see that now. I had known you two were close, but I never thought it went beyond you recklessly amusing yourself with her. I never would have accepted her parents' decision if I had known-"
"The why. the fuck. did she attack you?" Lo'ak growled, actively losing his patience by the second.
"Because she's in a heat, you moron. She won't be with anyone who isn't you now that the two of you have clearly done everything except maybe name your future children...I just wish someone had warned me, so I wouldn't have to be here right now!" Lo'ak stepped back from Tho'lo then, realizing he had just been assuming the worst of someone who was meant to be his brother-in-arms. "She attacked me not two minutes after we were in flight. I thought she was going to kill my ikran so I got us all down to the ground. She escaped of course, but I still couldn't leave her out here... "
Lo'ak nodded, ashamed of all the grief his actions had caused. But he didn't even have time to dwell on it, or make things right with Tho'lo, because y/n was still out there, scared and alone.
"I'm sorry, brother-"
"I'll forgive you when you find her and bring her home in one piece." Tho'lo cut him off, calling his ikran and mounting it. "And I know you threatened others just as easily as you have just accused me. That's what separates you from the rest of the people, Sully. You reek of anger and distrust, toward yourself and others. You are selfish, just like the rest of the sky people. Whatever y/n sees in you... must be the true reason why I'm still willing to call you brother."
After a few minutes of frantic wandering, Lo'ak picked up y/n's scent and it didn't take him long to track her down. She'd hidden herself in a small cave behind the waterfall, a place they'd both discovered once when they were out hunting. The closer he got, the more overpowering the influence of her sweet pheromones became. As he climbed his way up to the cave, mindful of the water cascading above him, he knew she could sense his presence too because she began to call out his name. Lo'ak could hear the strain in her voice and ended up cutting his hands and feet several times on the rocks as he made his reckless endeavor all the way to the safe haven she'd chosen.
He looked up to see her looking down at him, and he made one last stupidly dangerous jump to get her away from the edge. "Where were you? You told me to wait, I waited for you but- you are hurt!" Y/n reached for him, she was shuddering violently and unable to keep herself from crying. Lo'ak knew exactly what kind of pain she was going through, and he had to dissuade her from fretting over his wounds.
"I know, I'm sorry Oeya syulang, I'm right here now. I'm with you..." Lo'ak kissed y/n, making quick work of getting rid of whatever fabric was left to separate them. He let out a guttural sound at the copious amount of slick that gushed out of y/n simply from his touch. "Lo'ak, it hurts..." Y/n begged him, holding onto Lo'ak so tight he was pretty sure she was going to end up rearranging his bones.
"I know baby, you're burning up..." He kissed her neck, feeling how scolding her skin was as she lowered herself onto his cock, taking him all the way with a desperate moan of relief. Y/n seized up around him and coated him with a second wave of slick, high on the feeling of finally having her mate buried deep inside of her. "Fuck--you really needed me bad, didn't you baby?" Lo'ak groaned, unable to even comprehend what was happening around him anymore. Y/n's cunt was impossibly tight and warm, and she was making a complete mess on his lap.
His mate nodded and began to ride him in earnest, her stamina never breaking for a second. Lo'ak was so in awe, he could barely keep up with her. Their moans and whines echoed off the walls of the cave, and Lo'ak knew y/n was desperate to get knotted. "You need to... relax syulang." He kissed her face when she began to whine in frustration. "Might have to fuck you a few more times before your body is ready for me, sweet thing..."
"But I want--" Y/n was beginning to sound completely unintelligible, but she never once stopped grinding down on Lo'ak, challenging herself to take in deeper and deeper every time. "Such a good girl, look at that..." Lo'ak praised her, earning a deep purr which he happily returned. "Gonna make you a proper nest... so my baby can be nice and comfortable while I mount her later, how does that sound?"
Y/n curled up against his chest at the idea, kissing him deeply and coming on his cock for the fourth time since they'd started (yes, he was keeping count), and without much warning Lo'ak began to feel the his knot forming inside of her. She gasped and began to frantically fuck herself back against it, giddy on the pleasure the foreign experience was giving her. Lo'ak gave a a few more harsh thrusts, until his knot finally popped deep inside y/n's walls, binding them together. "Fuck, baby you can't keep moving anymore..." He groaned, blissed out and slightly amused by y/n's attempts to bounce up on his knot while she was stuck on top of him.
Y/n wasn't particularly shy about being loud, but the sounds she made when Lo'ak finally began to breed her made him want to fuck her all over again right at that moment. "It's... it's so much..." She sobbed, overwhelmed by the constant stream of warm cum that was now pouring into her. Lo'ak wrapped his arm around her and made a second connection between them, bringing their cues together. Immediately he could feel how close she was to climaxing again, and he reched down between them to rub her small bundle of nerves while she was still split on his shaft. "Going to cum on my knot, baby...? You're been such a sweet girl, taking everything I have to give you... once I'm done breeding you, your belly's going to be so pretty and full---"
Y/n gave out another high pitched whine and came thanks to Lo'ak's expert fingers. He managed to lull her to sleep after that, while they were still tied together and in the process of mating. Lo'ak found his sleep to be rather light, keeping an eye open for his vulnerable mate and growling menacingly at any noise he heard coming from outside.
When his knot died down he left y/n to get some much needed rest and set out to get everything they needed to stay in the cave for the rest of the week. He knew that his scent was more than enough to let anyone and anything to stay the fuck away from the cave, and that y/n would have been safe. Even though he'd returned with food supplies and other creature comforts to make a worthy nest, y/n was not too forgiving of his absence and jumped his bones the second he came back. After she'd deemed herself sated, they made their nest together, but it was hard to do anything without eventually getting distracted.
Y/n's belly was beginning to stretch out a little already from their activities and Lo'ak was completely mesmerised by the sight of his cum slipping out of her. So much so he could help but hold her down and get a taste. "Lo'ak... w-want your knot again..." she mewled, tugging fiercely at his braids while he drank down the sickly sweet taste of her slick.
"Oeya syulang, I haven't eaten all day, you can't blame me for wanting a taste... " Lo'ak growled softly before sinking his teeth in the scent gland on her left inner thigh, making her cry out. He soothed the wound with his tongue, lapping up her blood. "Now, you're going to have to behave for me a little, or I'm going to eat you out until you're a sobbing mess... understood?"
Y/n was a lot more partial to taking a break to eat and drink something after that. Lo'ak was not surprised when she feel asleep again, and he curled up around her on the makeshift bed they'd made, holding her close to his chest. He immediately woke up when she began to cry next to him a few hours later, not even thinking twice about mounting her from behind as her kissed her shoulders and reassured her everything was alright.
Y/n was the one to link their queues this time, moaning softly as he began to move. "Still hurts if I'm not inside you, baby?" Lo'ak asked, genuinely worried that the heat was still painful even though y/n was no longer facing it alone. Y/n shook her head and tried to find the right words to express what she was feeling, Lo'ak kissed her temple reassuringly, stroking her tail to soothe her. "J-just now... I think... I think I'm ready..." It took a little while for Lo'ak to understand, but then he felt it through their bond. Y/n was at the peak of her heat, and his next load was sure to get her pregnant. "You're happy..." she said, Lo'ak still forgetting that she could probably feel his heart soaring at that moment.
"Yeah..." He laughed, a little choked up. "Course I'm happy... so fucking happy" Lo'ak placed a hand on y/n's lower belly, firmly holding her there as he picked up his pace, pounding into her deeper and deeper. Y/n bared her neck to him then, submitting and asking him to mark her as his own. "Nga yawne lu oer..." He whispered before sinking his teeth into her scent gland, tasting the blood and sweetness there. Y/n cried out his name, feeling their bond deepen even more and the desperate need to mark Lo'ak just the same.
Both of them felt the exact moment when life began to blossom between the two of them when they were lying in each other's arms some moments afterwards. They were holding each other close and tending to the deep marks they'd left on each other's bodies. Lo'ak spent the rest of the night whispering promises and soft nothings to y/n, and she quelled all his anxieties about his wrongdoings or the fact that his child might have inherited his human features.
After all, she'd never cared for the right profile anyway.
#avatar the way of water#avatar x reader#avatar x you#avatar x y/n#avatar x female reader#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak x you#lo'ak fluff#lo'ak angst#lo'ak fanfiction#lo'ak smut#lo'ak imagine#lo'ak x y/n#lo'ak sully#lo'ak headcanons#lo'ak x fem reader#lo'ak x omaticaya reader#atwow#atwow imagines#atwow smut#atwow x reader#atwow x you#atwow loak#atwow x y/n#avatar x reader smut#avatar x reader angst#loak fluff#loak x reader#loak smut#loak sully
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Love is a spider
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Pairing: og8 X gn reader
Genre: Comfort/hurt
Word Count: 9.5K
A/N: To the requester, I may have went a bit overboard by a bit. Can you blame me? Anyway, in these drabbles, you're a bit of a people pleaser and the guys kind of clock you for it. Some of them are softer than others. Hyunjin's is a little angsty because a little angst adds some spice.
I'm so sorry this is out a little later than planned. I have had literally one of the worst weeks of the entire year. I hope that never happens again. Never fear, life goes on and we keep trudging along. I hope everyone is slaying and finding their own versions of happiness. It's almost over now, but happy six years to the band!!
You can ignore the rest of this, but I'm going to ramble because people pleasing can really suck. I wish brains weren't wired that way because people pleasing is not the least bit swell when it's destroying you from the inside out. Some of you baddies out there need to hear that it's okay to put up boundaries and focus on your own happiness.
I wish someone would have screamed that in my face at some point when I was younger. It is okay and normal to put up boundaries. It is not okay for people to walk all over you, belittle you, and cause you mental or physical harm. You are allowed to take up space.
There is one quote that says "stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke." I love that quote. I used to be one of the biggest people pleasers around and it made me so miserable to the point where I quite literally had a full mental breakdown. We're only meant for so much until we break.
Practice makes perfect and the more you practice saying no, the better you get at it. The better you get, the easier it is to reinforce boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, the more strength you have, the easier it is to say no. It's so much easier said than done, but I swear, once you start it, it makes life so much easier.
Also the title of this drabble is inspired by the song 'Spider' by Kai Bosch. It's so good and actually one of my favorites at the moment. I keep looping it because that's how much I like it. Now that I've rambled, please enjoy <3
_ _ _
Chan:
Dating Chan had its pros and cons. On one hand, you never had a better relationship with anyone before. Since he was so used to being out in public and interacting with multiple different people, Chan wasn’t afraid of your romantic relationship.
He knew what he wanted and he communicated everything perfectly. Every want, every need, every like, and every dislike, you knew them. On the other hand, you were still figuring out how relationships worked properly. The last romantic relationship you fell into, it left you scarred in more ways than one.
That’s why it took you so long to finally agree to meeting the rest of Chan’s band. It was a huge step outside your comfort zone. The whole day, Chan had been gushing and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.
You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified. Your stomach churned uncomfortably with anxiety. You kept zoning out and internally freaking out. There were so many thoughts inside your head.
What if they didn’t like you? What if you made an awful first impression? What if you screwed something up and made a fool out of yourself? What if they thought you were insufferable? On and on, the thoughts spiraled out of control.
Before you knew it, Chan was driving you to his dorm. It was the place where he figured you’d be the most comfortable. Plus, the guys could scatter about and do their own things. All the attention didn’t have to be on you.
It seemed to be going alright for the first few minutes. Chan introduced all the guys to you and a few minutes later, you needed to use the bathroom. Glancing around for Chan, he had moved out into the kitchen to help Lee Know and Felix with cooking.
Left alone amongst the other guys, you sucked in a deep breath trying to contain your inner panic. A few feet away, Han picked up on your discomfort and asked if you were alright. Upon realizing that he knew your mood, you quickly apologized.
He brushed it off and more time went by. Eventually, you were led to the bathroom. When you came out, you bumped straight into Seungmin. Apologies flew out of your mouth rather quickly. He laughed and brushed it off.
You apologized multiple times throughout the night, even when apologies weren’t needed. Like the time you accidentally spilled your drink. When you sat in a seat that was apparently reserved for Jeongin. When you grabbed a paper towel for Chan and accidentally tore a rip across it.
Chan knew you struggled with anxiety sometimes, but as the night went on, he started realizing just how much you were apologizing. Every time you did it, you looked terrified, almost like you’d be yelled at or lectured. It was to the point where it was getting concerning.
Felix made brownies for dessert. While eating one of them, crumbs fell on your shirt. When Hyunjin pointed them out and began laughing, along with an added joke from Seungmin, you looked like you were about to cry.
Beside you, Chan shot the two of them a warning glare to knock it off. They quickly changed the subject to taunting Jeongin for a terrible dance move he performed during practice. The attention went off of you and onto the three of them.
While the guys were distracted, Chan grabbed your hand and tugged you into the safety of his room. It smelled like the cologne he always wore. Comfort flooded your system easily.
“I’m really sorry,” you started after a few moments.
Chan frowned, feeling confused, “for what?”
“For messing up this thing with the guys. I understand if you want to break up with me. Actually, I can just let myself out.” You reached an arm out and headed towards the door.
Chan leaned forward and grabbed your wrist gently. “Baby, what are you talking about? You haven’t messed anything up.”
“I’m a mess. I’ve ruined so many things tonight. I’m sorry, I-” A lump began to form in your throat.
Chan gently pushed a finger towards your lips. “Why are you apologizing so much? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
You moved your head away with a sniffle. “Yes, I have. I’ve done dumb things and made people uncomfortable. Apologizing is the right thing to do.”
“Made people uncomfortable? You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”
“I took Jeongin’s chair for dinner.”
“That’s not a big deal, baby. The guys never have assigned seats. They were just screwing around like they always do. Did something happen somewhere that made you feel like you always have to apologize?”
“But it’s the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, when the time is right. You don’t need to apologize over the small things, sweetheart.”
“The last person I dated kind of made me feel really shitty a lot. They didn’t like a lot of the things that I did and they weren’t afraid to tell me.”
“So…you apologized?” Chan guessed with a raised eyebrow.
You nodded.
“From now on, you’re not allowed to apologize for little things. Every time you apologize for something little during the rest of the night, I’m kissing you in front of the guys.”
“We can’t do that! I’m sorry, but w-” You were cut off with soft lips against your own for a few moments. When Chan pulled away, your cheeks were dark red. You swallowed and tried to regain your composure.
“Aw, you’re so cute when you blush. I guess you’d better stop apologizing, I mean, unless you want the guys to see us kissing.” A teasing grin began to stretch across his face.
Without even thinking about it, you reached up and playfully slapped his chest. Realizing what you did, panic flooded your face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-”
You were cut off once again by his lips against yours.
_ _ _
Minho:
With a sigh, Minho kicked off his shoes and placed his car and house key onto the stand by the door. He jerked off his jacket and hung it up on a hanger. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept towards your shared bedroom door.
His feet slid over the floor through the darkened house. His fingers grabbed the brass knob to the bedroom and he slowly opened it. The soft hum of the fan filled the air. The room was pitch dark. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside.
“Minho?” Your voice called out. You popped up out of your bundle of blankets and turned on the bedside lamp. Both of you blinked at the sudden brightness.
“You’re up?” He asked. “You’re seriously up, again? Baby, it’s really late and you have work early in the morning. I know you want to see me, but you need to get some sleep.”
“I know, but I wanted to see you.” A frown filled your face. “I missed you so much and I just couldn’t wait.”
He moved over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. You watched his bare back as he ripped off his shirt and slid into a different one. Realizing you were staring after a few seconds, you averted your eyes. “So how was your day?”
“It was alright,” he shrugged.
“You’re not going to give me the specifics?”
“Nope. Not now. We can talk about that in the morning. Right now, you need to get some sleep.”
“But I-”
“Nope. Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re sleep deprived.”
“But I’m not!” You tried to argue back.
“Is that why you keep taking naps on the weekends?”
“Well…” You couldn’t fight back because he got you there. Staying up after midnight really was taking a toll considering that you had to be up at six in the morning. The days you stayed up later, you struggled through exhaustion.
Lately, you spent your days nursing coffee and energy drinks, trying to bring back the momentum, but they could only do so much. Recently, it seemed like you were more irritable and Minho was right. Brown bags sat beneath your eyes, your energy was low, and your co-workers kept making sure you were alright.
“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” you finally got out. “I really love you, you know? You usually look really excited when I’m still up. I like greeting you when you get home. I just want to make you happy.”
Minho headed over towards the bed, pulled down the blankets, and slipped beside you. “You make me happy in a lot of ways and I love you too. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings if you’re sleeping when I get home. In fact, I want you to be sleeping.”
“I love seeing you, but you look really cute when you’re asleep too. Imagine if you woke up in my arms. That sounds so exciting. Imagine you get enough sleep and you wake up to me holding you. The perks? You get enough sleep and I get to snuggle you.”
“And you’re okay with that? Because I could continue to stay up and I-”
He leaned up and lightly flicked your nose. “You need to get some sleep before your co-workers show up at our house. Yesterday, you said you were really freaking one guy out because you kept falling asleep while standing up.”
You finally nodded in agreement. He tugged you towards his chest and plopped down on his pillow. “When we wake up, we’ll have the most amazing breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my day and you can tell me about your day.”
“Promise?” You asked.
He nodded and shut his eyes. You laid there soaking in his warmth until you shifted. You shut your eyes, but nothing happened. You shifted again and again until Minho opened his eyes again. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t get comfortable and my brain won’t shut off.”
“Probably because I came home an hour earlier tonight. Your body is used to going to bed around the time I come home later.”
“I can’t help it!” You huffed clearly annoyed as your lips stuck out in a pout. “I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what.”
“Maybe if you wouldn’t have been a brat and stayed up until I got home,” he started.
You stuck your tongue out at him and shifted again. Silence filled the room as the two of you tried to sleep. After a few more minutes, you jerked into a sitting up position. Beside you, Minho frowned with his eyes closed. “I think you’re right, something is missing.”
You thought about it for a while before your eyes widened. You jerked off the blankets and scrambled to get out of the bed. Beside you, Minho finally sat up and watched you nearly faceplant as you left. “Where are you going?”
“We forgot to get the cats!”
“The cats?” His face twisted in confusion. “The ca- Holy shit! We forgot the cats!” He shoved off his own blankets and scrambled after you.
Twenty minutes later, the two of you were sound asleep. Snuggled in different parts of the blankets were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. The five of you fell asleep rather quickly comforted by the warmth of one another and the tranquility that transpired around the room.
_ _ _
Changbin:
During the first week that you dated Changbin, you bought him a shirt he mentioned he wanted to you in passing. When he unwrapped the soft pink wrapping paper and he unraveled the shirt, the happiness sparkling in his eyes locked in your brain.
During the second week of your relationship, he mentioned he really liked a new drink that he found at the grocery store. When he joked that it was the only thing he wanted to drink from now on, you took that seriously. You bought him multiple packs of it to keep in his dorm refrigerator.
When the second week wrapped into the third, you bought him a new pair of Airpods because he lost the last pair. You couldn’t stand his frown and how bummed he was about it. When you replaced the exact case that he had also lost, he nearly hugged you to death.
He didn’t realize what you were doing at first. At first, he thought your actions were cute. He knew some people showed their love through giving gifts. Sure, he felt a little guilty about it, but you looked so happy when you handed them to him. You were practically a little ball of sunshine that he couldn’t resist.
The last thing you got him, you took your time wrapping it, and you brought it straight into the JYP recording studio. You knew that he’d be there finishing up his recordings. As you were going in with your box, Chan and Han were coming out.
“Oh,” Han’s eyes lit up, “what’s that?”
“I bet it’s another gift,” Chan teased.
“Wow, Changbin is so lucky.”
“You really know how to spoil him rotten.”
You laughed and responded. After talking for a few more moments, the two walked off to head back to their dorm. Apparently, Changbin was still inside finishing up the last few lyrics of a song.
You knocked a few times before you pushed open the door. Changbin was in a black t-shirt with a face mask tucked beneath his chin. His eyes were narrowed down in a notebook and his pencil scribbled rapidly. “What did you forget this time?”
“Uh…nothing?”
“Oh!” His face lit up. “It’s you! Hi, baby! Give me a moment to finish writing these lyrics. How did you get inside? I didn’t think security would have let you in.”
“Well, they probably wouldn’t have, but Felix was talking to the security guard when I came up. He told him to let me in because the two of us were dating. The security guard seemed hesitant, but Felix does what Felix does best.”
“Melts the hearts of everyone around him with his angelic being?”
“Yeah, something like that.” You laughed and placed the wrapped box down on the studio couch. Changbin continued scribbling for a bit and you stood patiently with your hands folded in front of you.
“Alright, I’m finished!” He pushed his chair away from the wooden desk he was crouched over and glanced back towards you. “Should we go get dinn- oh, what’s that?”
“It’s a present.”
“That looks like an awfully big present. Should I be scared?” He raised an eyebrow as he studied the light green wrapping paper. There was a big silver bow on the top of it.
“I think you’re really going to like it.” You picked it up and handed it to him. He was shocked by just how big it was. The thing easily fit across the length of his lap.
He hesitated before he grabbed a piece of the folded paper along the side. A loud rip filled the air as he jerked it. At first, his face lit up as he revealed the internal packaging, but it didn’t take long before his face fell.
You purchased him the lego set that he had been admiring in the window of your latest trip to the mall. The lego set was pretty big and it easily cost a couple hundred bucks. At first the gesture was sweet, but this was too much.
“You don’t like it?” Your voice came out softly.
“No, no, no! I-I do, but I…” He sighed and sucked in a deep breath. “Baby, why do you buy me so many gifts?” His eyes went up to meet yours. There was genuine curiosity on his face.
“You don’t like the gifts?”
“I do like the gifts, but I’m starting to think you’re spending way too much money on me. Why do you feel the need to buy me so many gifts? A lot of what you’ve been buying costs quite a bit of money. I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on me.”
“I’m not wasting my money on you.” You suddenly felt like the size of a grape. All that happiness and joy in your heart, all that excitement slipped out of your heart like a deflated balloon. “I just wanna make you happy.”
“Honey, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, even without these big gifts. I like that you want to make me feel happy, but this,” he tapped the box of legos, “this is too much. I feel bad for receiving this. This costed so much of your money.”
You couldn’t help it, tears filled your eyes. He instantly frowned and shifted. You frantically blinked trying to keep them from falling, but they dripped onto your cheeks. You wiped them away as Changbin placed the legos onto the floor. He leaned over and pulled you close to him.
“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t want you to spend all this money on me. I want you to spend all this money on you. I want you to be selfish for yourself.”
He wiped more fallen tears and tugged you onto his lap. You sniffled and allowed him to. “Why do you feel like you need to buy me such large items?”
“I-I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m not good enough. Maybe if I buy you things you really like, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe I can buy your love and I-”
“Woah, woah, woah. Buy my love?” He gently cupped your cheeks between his hands. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy my love. Not at all! I’m with you because I love you. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t like them.”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave,” you whispered.
His heart broke even more and he shook his head. “If I was ever thinking about leaving you, I’d bring it up to you. I wouldn’t keep you in the dark about anything like that. Relationships are very serious things and I’d never shut you out or try to hurt your feelings on purpose. Never.”
“So no more gifts?” You asked.
“Well, I won’t say that. You seem like you really like giving gifts, right?”
You nodded your head. He wiped his thumbs beneath your eyes again. “If you’d like to give me gifts, how about something small? Like maybe one of my favorite snacks? Or you could do something else.”
“Like?”
“We could go on adventures together. We can go half and half and go on fun dates. Hyunjin just recently told me about a couple’s private pottery class that his pottery teacher hosts. How about something like that? We’ll make memories together, have fun, and we’ll have a shared experience.”
“I guess that does sound pretty good.”
He smiled and gently poked your cheek trying to cheer you up even more. You blushed and couldn’t help, but smile back. Your eyes went down to the lego set beside your feet. “Are you really going to make me take it back?”
“Why not?”
“Because I really want you to have it and I spent good money on that. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the mall. They’re going to ask why I want to return it and I’m not good at lying. I don’t want to admit that my boyfriend didn’t want it.”
“Well…” Changbin’s eyes followed yours. “It is a really cool lego set and you did spend a bunch on it. I would like you to take it back, but I will admit that it’d look super cool in my room.”
“So will you keep it just this once?”
He sighed before he caved. “I suppose, but this is it! If you do something like this again, I’m forcing you to take it back. I’ll hold your hand and drag you into the store. I’ll make it as dramatic as possible, so you’ll be too embarrassed to ever do it again.”
Your cheeks went red again as you nodded in agreement. Changbin’s gaze went back up to you. “So how about we take this back to my dorm with the rest of the guys? I’ll order us food and we can put this together. Maybe we can have the other guys help us because this is going to take hours.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Maybe even a full year to put together.”
“I don’t think that’s how this works.”
“You don’t know that. What if it takes a century? How about a millennium?”
“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.”
“I can’t help it!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I live with Hyunjinnie! What did you expect to happen? 3racha doesn’t just rub off on Hyunjin, he rubs off on us too!”
_ _ _
Hyunjin:
“You’re being such a fucking bitch!”
They were just words, but it might as well have been a slap in the face. The look of hurt on your face was one that Hyunjin would never forget as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door after him. He slammed it hard enough that the walls shook.
You shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath trying not to cry. You were under a lot of stress from work and he was under stress from some stupid controversy that had happened with his band. It was a minor thing, but the management team was grilling all of them behind the scenes.
The argument was just a simple miscommunication on both your ends. You were both irritated and frustrated due to external factors. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the two of you started to argue, but you didn’t think it’d get this far.
With your head down, you walked over to the couch. You collapsed onto it and curled your head into the arm. The mixture of high strung emotions whirled into a tornado and now both of you were hurt. Your heart ached due to the cursing and all Hyunjin could feel was guilt.
You cried and cried and cried until you ended up crying yourself to sleep in the living room. Outside, Hyunjin went on a walk trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe he had said something like that to you. He was absolutely gutted about it.
If there was an award for the world’s shittiest boyfriend, he’d have it in the bag. He couldn’t believe he fucked up this badly and it was absolutely unforgivable. His brain started to spiral out of control.
What if you broke up with him? What if you never wanted to see him again? What if you went to the public and released this information to the press and the fans? He nearly had himself in tears as he took off running back towards the apartment. God, what would his band members think? They’d never forgive him for this.
Nearly tripping over his feet, soaked in sweat, he shoved open the door and rushed inside. He walked through the brightly lit living room and was about to head towards your room until he found you curled up into a ball on the edge of the leather couch.
For the first few moments, he was smitten. Your back moved up and down slowly as soft snores came from your mouth. He couldn’t have been outside longer than twenty minutes.
It was quickly ripped apart when he remembered what he did. Remembering it was like a knife fileted across his stomach. He sucked in a deep breath, moved over to you, and gently shook your shoulder. He softly called your name trying to get you to wake up.
You shifted at the touch and hummed softly. Your eyelashes were clumped together from tears. When you jerked your head and blearily opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s heart crumbled at the sight of your bloodshot eyes.
“Baby?” His voice called out softly. He gently stretched a hand out towards you. He held his breath waiting for your reaction.
“Hmm?”
He sat down beside you quickly and tugged you into his lap. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch. I-I don’t know how to make it up to you, but it’ll never happen again.” His eyes became glossier as he spoke. His voice wavered as if he was on the verge of tears.
“It’s fine,” you weakly got out. “We were both upset and you snapped. It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I hurt you terribly and said something that never should have come out of my mouth. Darling, I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“I’ve been called worse,” you mumbled. You were still half asleep with your head on his chest. “I was kinda being a bitch, so you weren’t wrong.”
“No, you weren’t! I was being an asshole. Please don’t ever accept me calling you names. Never accept anyone calling you names. It’s pathetic and it’s low. You’re so much better than that.”
“Not really,” you shook your head, “it’s okay, seriously.”
Tears dripped down Hyunjin’s cheeks. Not only had he done the unimaginable, but now he realized you had low self-esteem. He shook his head, unable to accept your words.
“No, it’s not okay. You are beautiful and you are lovely. You are a wonderful person and you’re very intelligent. You’re someone I can’t live without and, best of all, you’re my muse. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
“I-”
He cut you off, “no. You don’t get to say mean things about yourself. You don’t get to accept what I told you. I was a fucking piece of shit and I hate that I can’t take back the words. I’m sorry, so please, if it’s okay with you, just let me hold you for a while.”
The tears were back in your own eyes as you nodded. You had been called a variety of names in your lifetime. Once upon a time, with an awful friend, you accepted every awful thing they said about you. You were too afraid to stand up for yourself, so you took in the words constantly.
You heard them so much that you began to believe them. Internally, those words had damaged you far more than you’d ever admit. There were thorns in your heart that still jutted out.
Sure, Hyunjin’s words and the actions that followed, they really were wrong. Nothing he could say could take them back, but, at least, he was trying to make it right. You couldn’t stand the way he looked with tears in his eyes.
You adjusted yourself and wrapped around his torso like a koala. He hugged you against his chest tight and rested his head on top of yours. He was so glad that you were still here and were willing to hear him out.
_ _ _
Han:
“I’m really sorry,” you got out with a grimace. “I know, I know I shouldn’t, but she’s my friend. I can’t leave her hanging all alone. She’s a mom now and I bet that’s really exhausting.”
Han frowned while watching you lace up your shoes. For the third time, you were canceling the date that the two of you were supposed to go on. All he wanted to do was spend time with you, but your friend kept taking advantage of your kindness.
It was okay, at first, and he understood. Parenting could be hard and it was healthy to take breaks. However, your friend kept constantly asking you to watch her kid. She never paid you for it and she asked in the spur of the moment. There was never time to preplan anything which kept throwing off what you had with Han.
Your boyfriend’s patience and understanding only went so far. In your eyes, you were trying to be a good friend. In his eyes, you were being used as a free babysitter because your friend didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of having a kid. It was frustrating and it was annoying, especially when it kept ruining your date nights.
“I’ll be back later,” you managed to get out. You were starting to feel upset about the situation yourself. Dealing with a baby, one that was only a few months old, was a lot of work.
After being at work all day, you wanted to lie down and cuddle with Han. You wanted to go with him to do some low energy activity and then come back home and cuddle. Both of you were introverted and you liked it that way.
Dating an introvert was the best decision you ever made. Sure, occasionally, the two of you liked to go do something you both enjoyed. Most of your time was spent at home where you were relaxed. You weren’t overstimulated and you weren’t overwhelmed.
“What’s the reasoning this time?” Han grumbled, unable to stop himself from being bitter. He was tired of your friend’s bullshit. If she wanted you to watch her kid so much, the least she could do was pay you.
“Um…” You trailed off knowing that your response would upset him.
“Is it something dumb?”
“I-I guess,” you shrugged, “she wants to go to the bar.”
“Are you being serious?” He whined. “Baby, that’s not fair! She can wait until the weekend to get plastered, it’s literally only Tuesday! I made restaurant reservations in an hour and now I have to move them again!”
“I’m really sorry, but she’s my friend.”
“She’s using you!”
“But she ju-”
“Why are you making excuses for her? You know that I’m right. This isn’t helping your relationship with her. You’re not getting paid for this either. You’re babysitting her child and now, when she gets home, you’ll have to babysit her too because she’s going to come home drunk.”
“What am I supposed to do? She’s my friend! I can’t just leave her to suffer alone and I-”
“Woah,” his eyes widened in shock, “since when is parenting suffering? Your friend knew what she was getting into and you know it. She planned this pregnancy and she went on and on and on about all the baby books she read.”
“I know that it’s hard to be a single-parent. It’s overwhelming and it’s awful, but you know what? I love you!” Your face scrunched up in confusion from his words. “And I don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of because you’re too kind.”
“You keep chasing after your friend and you keep giving her an excuse to abandon her duties as a parent to go have fun. It’d be different if this was planned in advance and if you were being paid for it or something, but she keeps doing this!”
“But-”
He held up his hand to silence you. “This time she wants to go to a bar. The last time, she had a nail appointment. The time before that? She wanted to go to the bar again. When you’re a parent, you have to do what’s best for your child and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself.”
You stayed silent hating that he was right. Ever since your friend gave birth, she had been leaning on you a lot. It made sense, in the beginning, and you didn’t mind, but it was starting to become a huge issue.
It’s not that you didn’t like her child because you did. He was adorable and he listened well, but you didn’t want to have a kid and the responsibilities that came with it. At least, not at this time.
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” you finally admitted. “I feel really shitty if I say no. I just…I don’t want to be an asshole.”
“I know you don’t.” Han walked towards you, grabbed your hands, and tugged you off the couch. “But does it really make you an asshole if you’re putting yourself first? Sometimes you have to give people some tough love. Your friend can’t avoid her parenting responsibilities forever.”
You let out a sigh and nodded your head. “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll come back and-” You paused before your eyes met his own sparkling eyes. “Is it alright if I meet you at the restaurant?”
“Really?”
You nodded again.
He screeched in delight and jerked you over his shoulder. You shrieked as he spun around and bounced a few times. Your shrieks turned into laughter as he cheered.
Once he finished, he put you back down. “I’m so proud of you for creating boundaries.” He reached over and planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “I’ll text you the restaurant location and then we’re getting drinks to celebrate. Now,” he shoved you towards the door, “get out and go talk to your friend.”
“I believe in you and you can do this! No matter what happens, even if it backfires, you’ve got this! Honeybun, you can do anything and handle any problem that comes your way. Wait!” He rushed towards you and placed a kiss on your cheek. “For good luck!” He beamed.
You laughed and thanked him as you left the apartment. Once you were outside, you sucked in a deep breath. This was terrifying and anxiety-inducing. You were sure your friend would be upset at your decision, but Han was right, you couldn’t keep bowing down to your friend and watching her kid all the time.
It wasn’t making you happy. It wasn’t fair to the baby because you weren’t their parent. It wasn’t fair that your friend was able to keep avoiding responsibilities either. As you approached your car, you reminded yourself silently that Han believed in you. In turn, it made you believe in yourself too.
_ _ _
Felix:
It was all going wrong. Everything was going wrong. Felix’s birthday was today and you were screwing up massively. You had everything planned out perfectly and then your mother ruined it.
Usually, you put aside extra money to splurge on things. You weren’t the best when it came to money. In fact, you struggled with it. Every time you had money, all you wanted to do was spend it. It was a bad habit that you had just yet to break.
Lately, you had bought a few gifts for Felix. You picked out a few new games for his Nintendo Switch that you’d thought he’d like. Plus, you found a few new articles of clothes that were his style. You even managed to purchase a bottle of the fancy cologne he liked to wear because you realized he was getting low on it.
You splurged on the wrapping paper and the gift bags. Gift wrapping wasn’t your forte, but you were determined to impress Felix. This was the first year the two of you were dating and you were excited to throw him his own small party between the two of you. You spent nearly three hours on YouTube studying the perfect way to wrap gifts.
When you found the video you liked the most, you took another two hours following along and neatly following the tutorials. You kept the gifts hidden beneath your bed and away from Felix for a few days, so he had no idea.
You went out of your way to design a special cake. There was a bakery in the area that had raving reviews. They made custom cakes and you already had an idea of a cake you wanted to create. Since he spent so much time playing Animal Crossing and listening to Animal Crossing music, you wanted to get him to follow that theme.
You were making a simple sketch of what you wanted. You planned to take it down to the bakery and have them create it. You had a price range and everything. Everything was perfect and then your phone rang.
You were on your way towards the bakery, it wasn’t far away. When you picked up the phone, you realized it was your mom. You swiped the call and pressed the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” You answered.
You paused and listened for a moment before your face fell. “Did you seriously? Mom!” You cried out. You couldn’t help the frustration that built up in your voice.
“Don’t you ‘mom’ me!” Your mother shot back. “You’re old enough that you should be giving back to me. I helped raise you! I put food on your plate and a roof over your head! I fed you and I gave you an education.”
You gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes at her response. After a while, you hung up the phone frustrated and upset. You returned back home and tried to fall back into your usual upbeat persona. You must have done a good job because Felix didn’t realize that something was wrong.
The day before, you went to your mother’s house to help her make a meal. You put the small backpack you carried with your jacket. What you didn’t realize was that while you were out cooking, your mother got into your things and stole the cash you pulled out of the bank, specifically, for Felix’s cake.
She constantly harassed you for money and sometimes you gave in. You couldn’t help it. Every time she pulled out the excuse of raising you, you felt guilty. It was like a kick to the back of the knees and you collapsed every time.
You struggled to figure out what to do. You didn’t want to borrow money from anyone. You definitely weren’t going to make Felix buy his own cake. You didn’t want to wait until the end of the week before your next paycheck came in, so you decided on the next best thing.
The next best thing, apparently, wasn’t the best idea. You thought you were making the recipe right for homemade cake, two days later. Everything was going alright until you tasted the batter. You instantly gagged and spit out the mixture.
As you flipped back through the recipe, you realized that you had followed the recipe perfectly. However, you somehow managed to mix salt with sugar. The supposed sweetened batter was now a salty wreck.
You cursed beneath your breath and dumped the mixture. You pulled out another bowl to remake and remeasure everything. While you were trying to recreate the recipe, Felix walked right into the kitchen.
His sudden appearance caught you way off guard. You jumped while pouring flour and suddenly the bowl of half-made liquid cake was coated in way too much flour. A lump sat in the back of your throat as your face fell.
“Oh,” Felix frowned, “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought you heard me come through the door. What are you making? I’ll help you remake it.” He sent you a reassuring smile, reached over, set a hand on top of your head, and playfully messed up your hair.
All you could think about was how much he would have loved the Animal Crossing cake. The cake would have been moist and light. The frosting wouldn’t be too sweet and it wouldn’t overwhelm him.
A strangled squabble came from your throat. Felix blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. “Baby, are you alright?”
“I was supposed to get you a cake!” You blurted out. “I had this plan to get you an amazing cake with Tom Nook on it. I was going to recreate your little house and your character. It was going to be so cute and t-then-” you sucked in a shaky breath feeling like you were going to cry. “My mom took my money when I was at her house. I-I’m so sorry.”
“It was going to be a cute cake. It was going to be custom made and it was supposed to be here, but I couldn’t even pay to have the bakers make it. I wanted to put it here and surprise you. I was going to make you a homemade one to try and make up for it, but I keep fucking it up.”
A soft smile filled Felix’s face. “You were going to get an Animal Crossing cake for me?”
“You love that game a lot.”
“And I also love you a lot. It was an incredibly sweet idea, but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll be more than happy to have anything you bake me. I know you’d bake a homemade cake with plenty of love. That’s something that Tom Nook doesn’t know anything about.”
You suddenly broke into a laugh as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you finally finished. “I’m just really not having a great day. I should be having the best day ever. You popped out of your mom’s womb on this day and that was the greatest gift of all.”
“Woah, okay, how about we stop right there?” He laughed. “We really don’t need to talk about my mother’s womb.”
“I should call her and thank her.”
“I don’t know how she’d respond to that. So anyway, what about your mom stealing your money? Is she going to give it back?”
And so, you and Felix worked side-by-side making a third cake batter and placing it in the oven. He listened to you ramble about your mom while the two of you tossed ingredients into a bowl. You explained how guilty she made you feel and how you’d occasionally give her money because of that guilt.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s healthy. You don’t owe your parents anything. As a parent, it’s their responsibility to provide for you. They shouldn’t be making you feel guilty for that.”
“I can’t help it, it’s the people pleasing part of me.”
“I understand because I’m like that too sometimes. You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Your mom can be a little…um….”
“Crazy?” You finished for him.
“Well, I was looking for a nicer word, but yes. She can be a little much sometimes. You seem to be a lot happier when you don’t interact with her. I think you should focus on what makes you happy.”
The two of you continued to talk. When the cake was baked, Felix leaned over to pull it from the oven, and you rushed to your room to grab the presents you had. He placed the cake on the stove to let it cool. When he turned back around, he blinked in shock.
A few wrapped presents and a gift bag sat upon the counter that the two of you had just cleaned up a few moments prior. When his curious eyes met yours, you smiled at him. “Just because I couldn’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t spoil you with gifts. Happy birthday, baby.”
_ _ _
Seungmin:
Seungmin’s heart stopped beating when he heard you sobbing. He just came home from the studio. There wasn’t time to take off his shoes. His brain instantly went to the worst thing and he sprinted towards the sound.
He didn’t knock, he just shoved the bedroom door open with wide eyes. You were a wreck with your face in the pillow. He rushed towards you in a panic. “Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?” He hurried over and plopped down beside you.
His hand instantly went towards your back to comfort you. Upon hearing his voice, you cried into your pillow harder. There was something embarrassing about being vulnerable in front of your significant other.
“Baby, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Did something happen?” He gently scooped his hands beneath your stomach and shifted you into a sitting position.
A thousand what-ifs were locked into his head. You sucked in a shaky deep breath and let out another sob. He frowned and wiped your tears away. You hiccuped through the final few sobs.
“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered in a shrill voice. “I-I just-”
“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” He frowned and wiped away your tears.
“M-My friend,” you managed to get out.
“Your friend? What happened? Did they get injured?” Fear struck his heart. “Did they die?”
You shook your head again frantically and your hair shook from side to side. “T-They just keep saying things a-and-” You burst into another sob.
His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His arms wrapped around you while you sobbed. While he held you close to him, there was a vibration from beside you as your phone received another notification. Your fingers clenched around his arm and you cried harder.
Seungmin tried to console you, but you were a mess. He pressed his lips against the top of your scalp and continued to fight off your tears. He shushed you and rubbed your back. When your phone vibrated again, he finally glanced down at your phone.
Your head was buried in his chest. You were a wreck from what your friend was telling you. More quick vibrations filled your phone with every text sent your way. Seungmin’s eyes didn’t leave the screen as more and more text notifications filled the screen.
“Baby, who’s texting you?”
You didn’t respond. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt tighter. You buried your head in his chest more as if it’d help you escape your inner turmoil. The tighter you clung to him, the more worried he became.
He’d never seen you to the point of being unconsolable. Sure, you had your rough days before, but not like this. When your phone vibrated again, he didn’t ask. He reached over, unlocked your phone, and he glanced at the text messages.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to find one of your close friends screaming every obscenity at you imaginable in capitalized letters. His jaw instantly clenched and his hand tightened around your phone screen.
“Baby, why the fuck are you being cursed out?”
“B-Because,” you hiccuped, “I said I didn’t want to hang out with them.”
“So why are they cursing at you?”
“They’re always like this when they don’t get their way. I’m h-having-” you hiccuped again, “a bad day and t-this just-”
“Was your tipping point?”
You sniffled and nodded. Seungmin frowned and scrolled through a few previous text messages. “They’re really always like this?”
“They’re kind of mean when they have a bad day.”
“Kind of?” Bewilderment stretched his eyebrows up. “Kind of?”
He read a little more and gasped. “I know this dumbfuck didn’t just call my significant other ugly. Now we have our own little beef. Ugly? Have they considered looking in the mirror? The love of my life is no such thing.”
He didn’t even ask, he just responded. When he was quiet for a while, you pulled your head out of his chest with wet cheeks. “What are yo-”
“Putting this cunt in their place.”
“Seungmin!” You cried shocked at the insult.
“Don’t ‘Seungmin’ me. They just said you looked like you were inbred and they have a big storm coming their way. I won’t let an ugly cunt insult the love of my life. Not when they look like they were shaken in the womb and came out disfigured in more ways than one.”
“You cannot be mean back!” You reached out and attempted to grab your phone. He jerked it out of your reach. “Seungmin!”
“I’m just getting to the good part, baby. Wait until I tell them that a New York City rat has more manners and class than them.”
“Seungmin!”
“Swing low and I go lower,” he shrugged innocently, “maybe they shouldn’t have been so mean. They can start it, but I’m ending it.”
You sighed, but you let him go. He seemed to be really focused on your phone. His eyes were narrowed and his thumbs moved frantically over the screen. He typed for quite a while before he hit the send button.
“Do I even want to know what you said?”
“Nope. Don’t worry,” he pressed a few more buttons, “because now you never have to deal with them again.”
“What did you do?”
“Blocked them after giving them a long insult that will be sure to affect their family for multiple generations after them.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not going to sit by and let an asshole insult my favorite person.”
You softened instantly and glanced up at him with heart eyes. “I’m your favorite person.”
“Maybe. It might have just slipped out. Anyway,” he stood up and grabbed your arm. You followed along and let him lead you into the bathroom. He pushed you in front of him and stood with his hands on your shoulders. You stood staring at your reflections in the bathroom mirror.
“What are we doing?”
“You’re going to repeat after me.”
“But I-”
“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. We’re going to stand here for five minutes and recite positive affirmations to dust off that negativity. After that, who knows, I might put a curse on that motherfucker.”
“Seungmin!”
“I’ll let Changbin beat them up and allow Lee Know to shove them in the air-fryer. Just wait until Felix finds out what they did to my precious gem. The sunshine is going to turn into a tornado and rip them apart. Now repeat after me, I am beautiful.”
You hesitated at first, but after a while, you were repeating the affirmations through laughter and smiles as Seungmin tickled you. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone off on your friend, but you were precious to him and he hated to see you cry. He’d do anything to cheer you up.
_ _ _
Jeongin:
Another day meant another chance to thrive. In your case, it was another day to sleep whenever you could fit it. Today, it was in your car. You barely got into the driveway and got the car turned off. You instantly slumped forward and pressed your head against the cool steering wheel. You fell asleep rather quickly and were like that for a while.
Jeongin was used to coming home and finding your car in the parking lot. You got home an hour before him on most days. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he saw your familiar car in the parking lot. He parked his car behind you and shut it off.
After climbing out, he yawned and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. There were a few quick pops from his spine and he hissed. Today, the band had dance practice. His body was sore in more than one area.
He shook out his limbs and began to head towards the apartment until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. With a frown, he glanced over towards your car. It took him a moment before he made your slumped figure out in the driver’s seat.
His eyes filled with horror and he rushed towards your side of the car. He gripped the side of the car and tugged on the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. Panic engulfed him and he knocked on your window frantically.
You groaned at the noise interrupting your sleep. You shifted, but you didn’t lift up your head. Upon seeing this, he knocked at your window harder and tried to tug the handle again.
Realizing someone was attempting to get into your car, you finally glanced up to find your boyfriend at your window. His eyes were full of concern as he gestured for you to unlock the car.
You reached over, hit the unlock button, and you yawned. Jeongin flung the door open and hurried to your side. “Are you okay? Baby, please look at me.”
When your sleepy eyes met his, his worry increased. He gently grabbed your chin and turned your head to the side. His eyes scanned for a head injury. “Are you alright, sweetheart? Did you hit your head? Did you pass out or something? Have you eaten anything?”
“Hmm?”
“You were unconscious in the car.”
“Oh, yeah,” you shrugged, “I fell asleep.”
He let out a sigh of relief, stroked your chin a few times, and finally let go. “You scared the fuck out of me. I thought something had happened and I was going to have to call an ambulance. If you wouldn’t have unlocked the car, I probably would have broken the window.”
“I’m alright, I swear. I’m just tired, that’s all.” You rubbed your eyes with another yawn. “I’ve gotta head inside and get some sleep. My boss is probably going to want me to come into the office again early and stay late.”
“Baby, with all due respect, you’re like a walking zombie. I know you like pleasing your boss and the money is good, but this isn’t healthy for you.”
You let out a groan, but Jeongin stood his ground. “I know you don’t like hearing it, but you know I’m right. You need to focus on what’s best for you. Sometimes that means making sacrifices that might make other people unhappy, occasionally.”
He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Let’s get you inside and taken care of. Have you eaten anything today?”
“I haven’t had time, honestly.”
He frowned again, but he didn’t lecture you. “Let’s start there and then we can go on. Let’s get you a quick bite to eat and then get you to bed, alright?”
You nodded in agreement. He held out his hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. You let him slowly tug you towards the house. Still half-asleep, you didn’t mind the babying he was doing for you. He plopped you down in a kitchen chair.
You rested your head in your hand and nearly fell back asleep. He quickly made the two of you instant ramen cups to share. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness. He gently shook you awake, so you can eat.
The two of you managed to have a decent conversation despite your yawns and tired voice. You managed to get halfway through the ramen before you nearly knocked it over as your body twitched while falling asleep.
He chuckled and moved your ramen away from you. “Alright, come on, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbed your hands, and gently tugged you up. “Let’s go get you all tucked in, sleepyhead.”
You hummed in agreement and let him lead you to the bed. He helped you out of your work clothes and into a pair of pajamas. When he was finished, he led you towards the bed and he tucked you beneath the covers.
Bending over you, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” you sleepily mumbled with your eyes shut.
“Promise you’ll start to work less overtime? I don’t want you to fall asleep on the road and get into a car accident. I want you to be safe and healthy.”
You weakly nodded your head in agreement. He planted another kiss on your head before he laid down beside you. Happily, you snuggled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around you and he rested his head on top of yours.
You fell asleep rather quickly, but it took a little longer for him to follow. He was nearly asleep until your phone chirped with a new notification. Groggily, he reached over and grabbed your phone off the side table.
He stared at the text message from your boss and then he glanced over at you. You were sleeping rather peacefully and he didn’t want to wake you up. Taking his time, he slowly removed himself from your bed and crept with your phone out into the kitchen.
Far away from you, he called your boss and explained that you had been overworking yourself. When your boss heard about how little sleep you were getting, they were instantly struck with guilt. Jeongin got permission for you to take off the next two days.
You now had Thursday and Friday off, so you could catch up on sleep and recover. After that, you were free during the weekend. On Monday morning, he made sure you were able to go in at normal time.
Maybe, you’d be able to work overtime as long as you didn’t overwhelm yourself with it. Jeongin couldn’t help it, he was worried about you. If you were upset and thought he’d overstepped his boundaries, that was a conversation the two of you could have the next day.
For now, he placed your phone back on the side table. Climbing back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He tugged your sleeping form close and let out a sigh of relief. With a calm mind and a fluttering heart, he’d finally join you in the land of dreams.
| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|
Masterlist
Requests, taglist, and inbox rules
#stray kids#stray kids drabbles#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#kpop fanfic#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stay
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Criminal Minds Incorrect Quotes:
Hotch: Damn, the power went out.
Y/N: Don’t worry, I got this.
Y/N: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Hotch: What-?
Y/N: I swallowed a glow stick!
Hotch, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
Derek , throwing their head into Y/N's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Y/N, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Y/N: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.
Derek : Y/N, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.
Garcia : You spent all our money on THIS??
Y/N, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.
Garcia : Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Y/N: Killed without hesitation.
The Team: 👀 *blink blink*
JJ: Life is like Y/N. It's short.
Y/N: Where are you going?
JJ: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.
Y/N: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?
Emily :
Emily : Why are you eating dirt?
Y/N: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.
An: Fucking Cannon
Emily : Don’t preach to me about romance, Y/N. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.
Rossi, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Y/N: Well, that's you.
Rossi: Me?! Is that what I look like?
Y/N: You don't know?
Rossi: Busy day.
Rossi: Well, Y/N and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Rossi: That's right... We kissed!
Spencer : *Answers phone.* Hello?
Y/N: It's Y/N.
Spencer : What did they do this time?
Y/N: No, it's me, Spencer . It's actually me.
Spencer : What did you do this time?
Spencer : Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?
Y/N: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.
Spencer : I find it very unseemly of Garcia to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?
Y/N: Die. Let's find out.
Garcia : Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?
Spencer : I gotta give you credit, Y/N. You make it look easy.
Y/N: Years of practice.
Hotch : Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.
Y/N, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.
Rossi: Wow, Hotch was late too! What a coincidence!
Y/N: So what’s the plan?
Rossi: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Hotch * they’re mean, come up with something.
Y/N: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Spencer : Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?
Elle: Ya know... it might be.
Y/N: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Elle: We're chopsticks!
Y/N: Well... that's cute!
Y/N: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Spencer : No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
Emily : For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Y/N, Spencer , & Derek : Okay.
Emily : If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Y/N: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Spencer : Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Derek : Bold of you to assume I can die.
JJ, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?
Y/N: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*
Emily : *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*
Garcia : *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*
JJ: I hate all of you.
Spencer : Time for plan G.
Y/N: Don’t you mean plan B?
Spencer : No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Rossi: What about plan D?
Spencer : Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Hotch : What about plan E?
Spencer : I’m hoping not to use it. Derek dies in plan E.
Derek: I like plan E.
An: I didn’t include Gideon because fuck that guy!
#criminal minds headcanons#criminal minds#criminal minds incorrect quotes#aaron hotchner#spencer reid#derek morgan#emily prentiss#jennifer jereau#jj criminal minds#penelope garcia#elle greenaway#criminal minds x reader#david rossi
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Alright, here we go. My review for The Dabbler's Guide to Witchcraft by Fire Lyte
Final rating: ??/10 - it broke my numbers system.
TL;DR - I like the book. I'm angry at the author. It's great for new practitioners. If you're going to get it, please get it from the Spiral House Shop, get Alex Wrekk's two witchcraft zines to go with it, and go look at/reblog/contribute to the original Dabbler's Week project.
(Also I think this is the longest review I've written yet. I'm sorry.)
This book is very good. I'm mad about that. The author is an excellent writer. I'm mad about that. I want to dislike this book but I can't, and I'm mad about that.
So let's get into the breakdown of why.
First up, a housekeeping thing: "Fire Lyte" is a pen name that I don't believe the author uses anymore, so I will be referring to him as Don Martin, the name he is using on his current projects. I know he's on TikTok, formerly of Inciting a Riot podcast, now of Head on Fire podcast.
Second, some links relevant to the review-which-is-actually-just-a-rant:
The breakdown of things I found that were taken uncredited from Tumblr
I COULD be making this up and reading it in bad faith, but this bit about 'heteronormative marriage' has my alarm bells ringing
Why I hate the title of this book
The original Dabbler's Week project links
Anyway.
I picked this book up specifically because of the title. It's been 3 years since it was published, so it took me a while, but I remember looking at that title when it was first out and thinking "Hey... the timing of this... did this person just wholesale lift the 'Dabbler' idea from Tumblr?"
The answer is: Yes, probably!
(He also summarized the Malachite Dick post from February 2020, but he actually credited Tumblr along with relevant usernames, so that's good and also made me laugh.)
But... yeah. The fact that he's crediting Tumblr from something that specifically happened in February 2020, when the original Dabbler's Week was from late January 2020 and seems to have inspired his whole book? Don, would it have killed you to mention ANYTHING about that project and the people involved?
He's very big on talking about following trails of information, listening to podcasts, listening to the podcasts of people talked about on those podcasts, reading books talked about on those podcast, and so on. But if he doesn't start off by saying "Dabbler's Week was a project issued by asksecularwitch on Tumblr", then how is anyone supposed to follow THAT chain of information, hmm? If his whole advice on finding good witchcraft resources is to follow the chain of people who are sharing information from each other, but he makes no mention of where he got the whole idea for his book, then what?
Side rant: I'm real tired of how Tumblr information is simultaneously treated as too shitty to ever bother reading or mentioning, but good enough to screenshot, repost on other sites, recite word-for-word on tiktok, and apparently write a book about.
ANYWAY. I'm angry about it. I'm gonna be angry about it. Here, please look at these links to the shenanigans that began the original Dabbler's Week, because Don certainly won't tell you about this part.
Anyway.
Some bad things:
I mean, the plagiarism. I keep hesitating to use the word 'plagiarism', because to me that seems like wholesale lifting entire works and slapping your name on them, when all Don did was fail to credit a few Tumblr users he quoted. But then again, if I did that on a research paper in college, it would be called plagiarism, so.
This book is in fact not a great guide for 'dabblers'. The point of Dabbler's Week was that if someone didn't know if they wanted to commit to witchcraft but wanted to fuck around with casting some spells for a week to try it out, there were week-long guides on things someone could do to try that. This book is not for fucking around with magic, it's for people who are already sure that they want to make this a thing in their lives. It handles some heavier topics (e.g. vetting mentors and not getting sucked into a cult) that are very very important for someone who is BEGINNING, but may be too much for someone who just says one day "lol I think I'll cast a spell for fun". A far more accurate title would have been "The Beginner's Guide to Witchcraft", but then he'd lose that punchy and marketable and googleable term 'dabbler'. (Yes, I'm going to be petty about this.)
"Wow Jes, it sounds like you really hated this book."
NO I DIDN'T, AND I'M SO MAD ABOUT THAT!
Some good things:
The author has a writing style that I enjoyed very much. This is a personal preference, but I like when books are either written so that the author is fully invisible (Bree Landwalker's books do this wonderfully), or the author is fully visible, like they're sitting at the table having a conversation with you (Kelly-Ann Maddox's 'Rebel Witch' comes to mind, as does Alex Wrekk's 'Brainscan 33: DIY Witchery'). Don Martin is the table conversation kind. That makes this book very easy to read, while also getting information across in an easily-understood sort of way.
This book fills a very necessary gap in modern witching books. It talks about the online community of witches, and a lot of the pitfalls that have come along with the bonuses of having so much witchcraft available at our social-media connected fingertips.
He gets very in depth with things like cultural appropriation. That's something that you can find in a lot of modern witch books, but Don actually spends the time breaking the concept down and explaining WHY it's harmful, HOW it affects people, and quotes people from the affected minority groups. I have seen the appropriation topic come up in a lot of the witch books I've read, but Don is the one who has covered the topic the best, imo.
He spends time on topics that I myself would have been dismissive of. The example that comes to mind is the chapter 'Can I Make Sh*t Up?' My knee jerk reaction was "Yes, you can make your own spells, you don't need to get someone else's permission. Next question." But Don goes through the full breakdown of yes you can make up your own spells, yes you can make your own correspondences, but no that doesn't mean you can just throw a water soluble crystal in your water bottle because you think it's good for cleansing.
Actually on that topic, he covers a lot of the why not just the what. It's not just 'appropriation is bad', it's 'and here's why'. It's not just 'research your herbs', it's 'here's some examples of things that can and have gone wrong.'
SPELL CANVASES! There are 11 'spell canvases' in this book, and they're pretty much all just kids/teens science experiments (e.g. dissolving an egg shell in vinegar, lighting a tea bag on fire so it flies, and using food dye to color a white flower). He does not give intentions for these spells, but gives a spell technique and then some examples of how you could apply your own purpose/intention to it as needed. It's actually pretty smart, and now I wish there was more stuff like this.
He actually explains what UPG means. Man, 'UPG' is one of those things that I keep seeing as a 'I don't know what that means and I'm to afraid to ask' blog post. When someone pops into the witchy social media circles, we can throw the term 'UPG' around as if everyone knows what it means, and forget to actually explain that it's Unverified Personal Gnosis and what that means. Don's got us covered. Good on you, Don.
The one throwaway line about why you don't have to buy fancy witch things. Tucked away in chapter 12 is this almost nothing-sentence mentioning why you shouldn't be "going broke hoping to buy your way into 'effective' magic" (pg. 161). I have seen, reblogged, probably written posts about 'No you don't need the fancy tools! You can just use whatever! But you CAN buy them if you want, you just don't NEED them.' And we've all seen those around, right? But damn, if Don didn't just get to the heart of it. You can't buy your way into skill. YES, Don, THAT!! THANK YOU.
Alright. I'm running out of words. This isn't a review, it's a rant. Holy shit. Let me shut up with a TL;DR
Almost without doubt, Don liked Tumblr's idea enough to write a book about it, but failed to give credit. But he's an excellent writer and covers a lot of topics that are not often written about in printed books, and to get those blogosphere-ideas onto bookshelves is invaluable. This is a good book for beginners starting out in witchcraft, but not for dabblers who just want to screw around with some spells. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is it ethical to buy a book when the author gets royalties but the bloggers he got the idea from do not? I don't know. I can't tell you that. You'll have to weigh all this against your own moral compass and decide for yourself. My recommendation is that if you're going to buy it, please buy it from the Spiral House Shop, because if Don Martin's going to get paid for this book, Alex Wrekk should too. Buy Alex's zines. Reblog Sec's posts. Links are up at the top.
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Alright wise guy, what are your thoughts on the theme(s) of the first Mistborn book. This is literally an excuse for you to ramble about it, have fun.
VOID I LOVE YOU SM
So spoilers for Mistborn: The Final Empire! If you haven't read it, please beware because under the cut, Here There Be Spoilers
(and also beware, Very Long post under the cut!)
The big running theme in The Final Empire is trust. Who can one really trust? Is it worth it to put your life in the hands of other people? What says they won't betray you as soon as it becomes favorable to do so?
Honestly this really is what Vin's character arc in the first book is about. At the beginning of the book, she's trapped in a low-level street gang where everyone is always out to get everyone else. Heck, the second time the audience ever sees her use her powers is when she is helping her boss betray a business partner.
Vin's brother has beaten into her the idea that she can trust nobody, not even him. Everyone is always out to hurt her or take advantage of her, and if she does not prove her immediate worth to her group, then at best she will be kicked out.
This, of course, is not helped by the fact that she is part of the literal slave class! Which is a whole nother essay tbh.
Then Kelsier takes her in and everything changes. There's a scene early on in the book, after vin formally joins the crew, where Kelsier and his men are all laughing and enjoying themselves while plotting their Big Plan™. And Vin, who does not trust any of them, is on the outside, quite literally. She's outside the room, watching them plan, wishing she could be included but not allowing herself to, because at this point in the book she still thinks they could betray her at any time.
I think now is a really good time to mention that being a Mistborn is built on secrecy and paranoia. Mistborn are literally the nobility's assassins. They hide their identities under hoods that blend into the mist so as not to be seen. So their powers cannot be used against them or their Noble Houses. In broad daylight they have to pretend to be normal people, or at best, regular Mistings. They can't trust anyone with the truth that they are Mistborn.
(Heck, even a quarter of their powerset- Copper and Bronze- create mistrust. With Bronze, after all, one can hear the allomantic pulses of burning another metal. Copper, on the other hand, blocks that; the use cases for these two metals lies in paranoia that someone else can use their Allomantic powers against you.)
Anyways! So we've explored some of the different aspects of mistrust in Mistborn, so what's the counterargument?
In a word: Kelsier.
Kelsier shakes up everything that Vin believes about how relationships work. He introduces his crew as something different- despite being a thieving crew, they operate under a principle of trust and camaraderie. "My crews rely on trust," Kelsier says at one point. In direct contrast to the dirty, paranoid crews Vin worked with before, Kelsier's crew is welcoming, understanding, and trusting of her.
But Kelsier's trust isn't just talk, either. When we learn that the crew believes Mare betrayed them in their last heist, Vin asks Kelsier how he could love Mare even though she betrayed him. Kelsier answers that given the choice between loving Mare and being betrayed or never knowing her, he would choose loving her. "I'd rather trust my men than worry about what will happen if they turn on me."
In the same passage as above, Kelsier poses a question to Vin: where has she been happier? with the old crews that we built on lies and suspicious, or with Kelsier's crew, who trusted each other and let their guards down? It's a rhetorical question, and the meaning is clear: Vin and Kelsier both are happier for risking themselves in order to be loved.
I don't think I've nearly done this topic justice. There are a million more points I could pull out and point to, but I want to end with my favorite quote from The Final Empire. It's from Vin, in Chapter 32. She says:
“Once I may have thought you a fool, but… well, that’s kind of what trust is, isn’t it? A willful self-delusion? You have to shut out that voice that whispers about betrayal, and just hope that your friends aren’t going to hurt you... Distrust is really the same thing, only on the other side. I can see how a person, given the choice of two assumptions, would choose to trust.”
#I have SO MUCH MORE I COULD SAY ABOUT THIS#but this post was too long already#THANK YOU SO MUCH VOID FOR ASKING#i didn't even get to the part about how allomancy itself is also an act of trust#since yknow. you have to have some level of trust to be able to push yourself through the air#and how Vin's first time steelpushing herself in their air is a literal AND metaphorical leap of faith#I have so many thoughts on this book#mistborn#mistborn the final empire#mistborn era 1#kelsier#vin mistborn#vin#cosmere#brandon sanderson#i love literary analysis#taking the tools they taught on boring books and putting it into the things im passionate about#literary analysis#taiga says things
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I've had rats for years at this point now and finally want to put down the best tips I've learned. This won't work for everyone, some are very conditional to me, but maybe some of these will help someone.
Fleece hammocks: Boo. Microplastics and too warming. Canvas hammocks: Yes, please. Highly washable. Far more tough. I wish they were easier to find.
Coiled rope baskets are also a godsend. I hang them by the handles in the cage, they love them way more than anything marketed to rats.
Bottles are nice but some rats wanna splash and have a place to wash their little hands.
Fresh in pod peas are by the pound at my supermarket. I usually spend 70 cents on the amount for several treat sessions. All my frozen peas end up getting freezer burnt by the time I get halfway through the bag.
Antibiotics will be needed if you keep rats. Do not give antibiotics with dairy, many classes of antibiotics bond to calcium thereby making them far less effective.
Speaking of, antibiotics seem to have the hardest taste to cover up. Ground meat baby food, Hershey simply five syrup (Just a little), peanut powder (No added sugar, oils), fruit compote/jam/jelly, small absorbent bread snacks/cereal, smushed pasta, cream of wheat, are all options to get meds into rats.
You can call exotic vets and ask for an estimate on a basic rat exam. Do it, the prices vary WILDLY. We had a vet who charged us 35$ to see three rats at once and one who quoted us 200$ to look at one. You're gonna notice a trend if you call vets in higher class/rich areas. Fuck em'.
Also ask your vet if you can keep a supply of meds on hand just in case. If they last at room temp you can buy some preemptively. Things like doxycycline you can get from human pharmacies.
Zip ties are god. All hail zip ties. Same with swivel clasps. Between them both you can cage mount anything your heart desires.
Leave bedding in a hot car or freezing conditions for a night. Warehouses get mites. Mites are a dick to deal with. Kill em' all.
Give them a variety of fresh things while they're young. Not always but sometimes I'd get an older gent rescue who had no idea what to do with berries or tomatoes and would refuse them. They learn better what is safe when young.
At some point you will have an emergency. Make sure you know where an emergency vet is and that they keep night/weekend hours. Keep funds on hand for that day.
Rats hide pain well. When they age you may need to start pain management if you notice them moving differently even if they don't show their pain blatantly. Just start with low doses and see if they act like their old selves again.
Research your breeders. Get recommendations from other rat people. Check and see if there are rat rescues in your area. Also the Humane Society sometimes takes in rodents.
Controversial take: You will encounter people in ratkeeping who say buying feeders is a sin. It's not. Feeder supply will exist whether or not every rat fancier boycotts them. We are far far fewer in number than snake/lizard people. Wherever you got your rats it's valid so long as you give them healthcare, good nutritious food, love, and mental stimulation.
A lot of the 'foods to avoid, foods to include' lists are not researched. I've seen lists that ban chocolate. Rats freaking love chocolate they just need to take it easy on fats and sugars but cocoa powder can be a good mix in and can help ratty blood flow. I've seen people ban mango. if you read the study that led to this they gave rats an obscene amount of D-limonene to trigger cancer and small amounts had no side effects at all. Read the studies, look for sources.
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Aight I give up
Of course I started reading a Satoru Gojo x reader fic on my "for you" page and the page reset. So i have resigned myself to ask for help.
I will now try to remember everything i read before it reloaded.
It was an Arranged Marriage kind of AU! Where Gojo and Reader were childhood friends. Reader stayed in the village and wrote Gojo letters while he was away and he never responded; so after a year and a half reader just stopped sending them all together. Stopped asking his whereabouts 2 years in. (turns out Gojo never received them AT ALL)
When Satoru comes back they are both under the impression the other hates them, but when a nasty guy comes up to reader ;introducing himself as a suitor; she backs away, rushing out of the party to throw up in some bushes when Gojo comes out to comfort them. Reader's Mother finds them alone together, shenanigans happen and now they both must be married like... yesterday.
It's a slow burn to a feast they must both host for the clan as leaders. Both walking on eggshells, mostly in the reader's pov; only coming down for breakfast or dinner to speak to Satoru.
At the feast, they are finally getting into a good banter. Even joking on hiding under the table like they use to since the reader doesn't like how many people are at the feast. Geto shows up, introductions are made, and then Geto takes Gojo away to discuss something. Another girl is there, she has many admirers. Reader looks at her then at where Gojo and Geto are and see's that Gojo is looking over at the girl. Girl does a finger beckon call towards Satoru, and he apparently follows.
Of course Misunderstanding, older clan members are asking "where did Satoru go?", "Is he with a mistress?" you know the old people no boundary kind of questions. Reader is heartbroken, but also believes that Satoru doesn't want this marriage in the first place.
Geto tries to explain what happened later to the reader over breakfast with gojo nowhere to be seen.
Geto: "I promise it was no what it looked like."
Reader: "What Gojo does is his business," "Maybe I too will find my own way in this marriage." "Geto, I ruined his life didn't I?"
Before Gojo goes away to visit another clan, he tries to talk to reader through the door of her bedroom. She hasn't spoken a word to him since the feast, not coming down for meals or anything. He simply knocks, asks if he can explain, talk or see her. She walks close to the door but doesn't open it. She blows out the candle and head back to bed. Gojo tries again, but gives up and leave her be. It was almost 6 weeks i believe of Satoru being gone.
The reader is plagued with thought of Gojo, hoping he is ok, that this visit shouldn't be taking this long. Others in the clan have also filled her head with thoughts that he is just out there cheating her the reader.
When he does come back, he's splattered with blood (he swears isn't his) and scared the readers maid "Myra" half to death by demanding she get out of the reader's room right then and there.
Gojo thought the reader was going to cheat cause of the "Maybe I too will find my own way in this marriage." Thinking that the time he was gone, he was going to find another man in her chambers. He didn't cause even after feeling heartbroken, Reader still loyal to him. But reader also calls him out for leaving her at the feast alone to go with another woman.
Misunderstandings are finally understood, a quote i remember Satoru said was "If all it took to marry you was to get you alone, i would have shoved you in a closet as soon as you walked into that party."
They both loved each other since childhood, and as soon as they were making up
my screen reset. and i lost it to the tumblr maze of fanfics and hell.
So i ask for help that if anyone knows this fic, the author, anything that can help me find it; i've been scrolling for days and finally lost the will to keep looking without help.
I thank the tumblr users in advance, and a reminder that this is not my idea and i just want to find the writer to appreciate them and love them for their writing was so freaking amazing.
#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#gojo saturo#jujustu kaisen#jjk#arranged marriage#childhood friends#angst#i really hope the writer didn't delete their blog and fic#it happens so often#this was one long fic btw#fanfic#tumblr get a better search function im begging you#someone please help
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Hii😄, could you talk about Alexander and hefestion's skills? Whether militarily or diplomatically, I heard that Hephaestion was better at politics, diplomacy and logistics, and that in some ways his and Alexander's skills complemented each other.
I'm always a tad amused when my own research is quoted back to me as a bit of general knowledge. 😂 That's not at all a slam, btw! I'm quite pleased it's escaped out of academia to become part-and-parcel of what people know about Hephaistion. Means I made an impact on rehabbing his career.
But yes, those things are true. I wrote about them first back in 1998, in my dissertation, then published it as part of an academic book chapter in 2010, titled "The Cult of Hephaistion" in Responses to Oliver Stone's Alexander: Film, History, and Cultural Studies, P. Cartledge and F. Greenland, eds. Complete with tables! Follow the link to read it.
I am now, some years later, returning to Hephaistion's career with the current monograph I'm working on. I've altered my opinion about some things (primarily details), and modified my take, but it remains largely the same. I've even convinced a number of my colleagues, so Hephaistion as logistics officer now appears in most summaries about him. Now, if I can just convince them he wasn't either incompetent or the quarrelsome bastard he's often made out to be.
He did have diplomatic assignments too, although he's hardly the only one. Erigyios, Perdikkas, Ptolemy...they were also used for diplomatic purposes. Plutarch (in a long contrast with Krateros) says ATG employed Hephaistion for business with the "barbarians" and Krateros for business with Greeks and Macedonians, because Hephaistion agreed with ATG's "Persianizing" whereas Krateros kept his traditional ways. From Plutarch, that's not necessarily a compliment for Hephaistion. It's also not stated so anywhere else beyond Plutarch. I have some theories I'll be discussing in the book.
IF we can take the disproportionate assignment of logistical/diplomatic assignments as any indicator, it would seem that Hephaistion was more skilled in that realm than in combat command. That isn't to say he was no good at combat command, mind (I've had some read it so, as if "not as good" = "bad" because middle ground apparently isn't permitted).
It also doesn't mean he wasn't a decent fighter. He probably was, as he seems to have been assigned to lead the agema (Royal) unit of the Hypaspists, e.g., the king's personal guard in battle. According to earlier accounts of the origin of this unit, Philip created them to cut across regional divisions, picking the largest men and best fighters. The agema was, if Waldemar Heckel is correct, drawn specifically from the sons of Companions (Hetairoi). That would back up Curtius' description of him as "larger in physique" than Alexander. (That's what the Latin actually says, not simply "taller.") But keep in mind, the best fighters are only occasionally equally good at command. Those are two different skills.
Finally, his choice as Chiliarch may also underscore some of what we've already seen in his assignments. But it's this appointment that leads some scholars to conclude that he rose due to Alexander's favoritism, not actual ability on his part. That, however, seems to me to stem from several (erroneous) assumptions.
IME, competent people surround themselves with other competent people, at least for any length of time. Flatters may be tolerated, but they're not continually advanced. It's dictators who surround themselves with yes-people (and not all of them; they also need competent individuals). Alexander may have been called a "tyrant" by the Greeks, but he wasn't. He was a king. The Greeks/Athenians/Spartans/Others were playing politics. Macedonian kings had to court their courtiers. If Alexander had been manifestly unfair in his appointments, his men would have rebelled against those officers. They rebelled...but not for that reason. They wanted to go home.
For those who regard Alexander (and Philip) as tyrannical, and/or the enemy of (Greek) freedom, and/or megalomaniacs, and lucky rather than competent, then sure. It would follow that ATG would surround himself with asslickers. But if one thinks he was actually good at what he did (which is a different thing from approving of conquest, mind), and a halfway decent politician--then no, it doesn't follow that his top officers were yes-men. Curtius bluntly tells us that Hephaistion was freer than anyone to "upbraid" the king. Doesn't sound like a yes-man to me.
I think Hephaistion was appointed as Chiliarch for two reasons: Alexander trusted him AND he could do the job. Too bad he didn't live long enough for us to see what he might have done with it.
#asks#Hephaistion#Hephaestion#Alexander the Great#Hephaistion's military assignments#Hephaistion's status in the army#chiliarch#Classics#ancient Macedonia#ancient Greece#Plutarch's hit job on Hephaistion
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PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH STARTERS
a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 2022 Dreamworks Animation film, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. change & alter as needed.
"Welcome! Mi casa es su casa!"
"Hey! This is a party! Where is the music?!"
"Thanks for everything, you know, but I am feeling great."
"Do you know a good place to get some gazpacho?"
"How many times have you died already?"
"My prescription: No more adventures for you. You need to retire."
"[Name], is there any safe place you can go? Any special someone you can rely on in this moment of need?"
"Remember, [name], death comes for us all."
"You've really got to work on your bedside manner."
"Oh, I keep the heavy stuff in the back."
"Hey, I never do this, but can I get your autograph? I've been following you for a long time."
"Everyone thinks they'll be the one to defeat me. But no one's escaped me yet."
"You're not living up to the legend, [name]."
"I am no longer worthy. I'm sorry."
"You're not from the health department, are you?"
"We'd better get you inside because, baby, they are always watching."
"So this is where dignity goes to die."
"I'm no expert, but you don't look like a [name]."
"Despite all this best-friend bonding, you're still a mystery to me, [name]."
"You think this is the first time I've been stuffed in a piano?!"
"If this [name] is such a big deal... maybe we shouldn't be desecrating his grave?"
"My home is where my friends are."
"Oh, no! I misjudged the situation!"
"It's like a possum crawled on your face and died! Of shame!"
"You said you were going on some spiritual retreat!"
"Hey, [name], I found a sandwich in here. I think it's tuna fish."
"We are not a team!"
"Nice try! Classic con! But no one's that dumb. No one's that nice. I don't trust you."
"Don't rush through it. Take your time, and really appreciate what's right in front of you."
"Don't be near where I'm flame-throwing!"
"I am a solo act. I keep my secrets, and I play my cards close. That's how you get a winning hand."
"Take it from me: Never trust anyone."
"What? What's so funny? Nothing should be funny!"
"You're not gonna shoot a puppy, are you, [name]?!"
"What's going on with you, [name]?"
"Maybe you should tell that to [name]. It might make you feel better. It might make her feel better, too."
"What you seek may be right in front of you."
"Well, that's a load of rubbish! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do is ask."
"I knew I could never compete with your one true love — yourself."
"You don't seem like that guy anymore."
"You know, I'm starting to think you don't appreciate the value of a life."
"There's good in all people."
"You know, [name], maybe we need to dig a little deeper. Tell me about your childhood."
"Well, you know what they say: Can't bake a pie without losing a dozen men."
"You're horrible! You're an irredeemable monster!"
"You're not chatty, are you?"
"I wish I had a family like this."
"Speaking from one orphan to another, [name], you won the orphan lottery."
"I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically, or theoretically, or in any other fancy way."
"I'm getting a family, that's what! A proper family! And then everything will be just right!"
"I was always afraid it was too good to last."
"I can't believe I fell for it again."
"You want to know what my wish was? Someone, anyone, that I could trust. In my whole life, I've never had that. But I thought I finally found that someone without a wish. I thought it was you."
"I've been called a lot of things, but never death."
"I've enjoyed the chase, [name], but I think we've reached the end now, you and I."
"You've really got to stop losing that."
"Live your life, [name]. Live it well."
"I thought you were just being melodramatic."
"You deserve someone you can trust."
"It's so cute how you think that would work on me. Don't you know I'm dead inside?"
"By the way, your nose is bleeding."
"I hate to say it, but... should we make a wish?"
"[Name], one life spent with you is all that I could wish for."
#rp meme#roleplay meme#rp starters#roleplay starters#dialogue prompts#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#dialogue meme#rp prompt#roleplay prompt#rp memes#roleplay memes#sentence memes#sentence prompts#sentence starters
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