#i know it’s kind of an intense storyline but I feel like them becoming close again would involve some tough stuff maybe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mickeym4ndy · 16 days

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ooooooh my god, would love to hear more about this milkovich sibling reunion fic idea! i always hoped they'd find their way back together.

Hi💗 Aw thank you! It’s something I’ve only thought of recently but I love the Milkovich fam too and would love if they got closer post canon, especially now that Terry’s dead.

This fic idea is kind of sad and intense ngl, but it would have a happy ending! (This ended up being sooo long I’m sorry, didn’t realize how much I’d actually thought about it lol).

I have the idea that it starts with Colin coming to Mickey asking for a job at the security company (he’s heard Sandy’s working there) because he found out his girlfriend is pregnant.

He had been living the Milkovich life (robberies, scams, dealing etc.) up until that point but a bunch of his “colleagues” (or I guess other family members) recently got caught for a big job they had going and are looking at 10+ years in prison.

Colin wasn’t there so he wasn’t caught, but he had been involved and realises how close he was to having to watch his kid grow up from behind prison glass so he’s had a bit of a wake up call.

Mickey agrees to take him on on a trial basis because he is family at the end of the day, but warns him that he needs to stay on the straight and narrow or he’s out.

And there are some growing pains in the beginning but he’s trying.

Mickey & Colin end up hanging out through work and they both sort of remember how much they like hanging out with each other.

Eventually Colin reveals to Mickey that he hasn’t seen Iggy much since he started at the company because Iggy’s got a pretty bad drug problem. Mickey goes to see him at the old house and really sees how bad it’s gotten.

Mickey feels guilty for letting his brother get that bad even though it wasn’t his fault.

They start trying to help Iggy get clean but Iggy’s not really interested because he thinks this is all that’s meant for him.

Ian & Mickey (mainly Ian) talk to Mandy a lot but Mickey doesn’t tell Mandy at first because she’s doing well and he doesn’t want to drag her down.

But then Iggy OD’s and nearly dies and Ian calls her and tells her because he knows she’d want to know. She shows up at the hospital then after she finds out.

Mickey, Colin, and Mandy convince Iggy to go to rehab. Mickey says he’ll pay for it too (because the company is doing well) and all 4 of them drive up to the rehab together to drop Iggy off, and they realize it’s the first time they’ve all been together in years. And it’s the first time they’re all together without Terry alive. It’s weird and hard for all of them. But also kind of nice in a weird way, because there’s elements of themselves that nobody understands but each other.

I think maybe even family therapy would be an element of Iggy’s rehab and NONE of them want to do it because talking and therapy are NOT Milkovich things, but they all want Iggy to get better, so they do it for him. They don’t say much in the first few sessions and it ends up being very difficult and rough, and eventually a lot of shit is revealed and confessed over time and it’s really, really hard. (Not really sure of the exact details of all that tbh, but I don’t think the boys know about what Terry did to Mandy and I don’t think anyone knows about what actually happened to Mickey and Svetlana).

But having to talk about it all does end up being good for them in the long run.

Anyway, it would be a long road and being around each other would bring up feelings that all of them had kept buried for so long, and it would be difficult and they’d all struggle in their own way. (I’ve read a bunch of fics where Mickey gets nightmares and panic attacks and I think that’s pretty accurate). (I think Colin having a kid would make him really realize how awful Terry was to him too). But at the same time, they realize they are actually happy to be together again.

And it would also be the first step on a healing journey for all of them. Both individually but also as a unit because they’re finally able to have a relationship with each other outside of Terry.

Mandy tells Mickey that she’s been seeing a therapist about everything for a while now, and tells him that he really should try it himself because it’s been really helpful. Eventually, after a particularly rough night, he agrees to see someone. (Ian is thrilled because he’s been trying to get Mickey to talk to someone for so long).

Mickey & Mandy also just start talking more in general, especially about their mom.

Iggy gets out of rehab they all help out and try to keep him clean and they all just end up hanging out and talking more, and try to heal together.

There would be a lot of Mickey trying to get Iggy to understand that they’re all better than Terry and that they don’t have to follow in his footsteps just because he’s their father, and that futures aren’t already decided for them just because they had rough pasts. They’re not actually “fucked for life.” (which I think would be interesting because I think it’s something that he still struggles to believe himself).

Eventually Iggy starts to believe him and see a future for himself.

Colin is terrified of becoming a dad because he’s so scared he’ll be like Terry, and it’s actually Iggy that convinces him that he could never be.

They all meet Colin’s gf and she’s great, and her & Ian become fast friends. Family BBQ’s and stuff start happening.

Not really sure of the exact details from there, more stuff would happen but idk exactly what (feel like Colin’s kids birth would be v dramatic and they’d all be at the hospital for it lol). But yea the idea is that even though the circumstances are tough, they grow back together and try to heal over time and actually get the chance to be a family again🩵

#thank you for asking!#asks #mickey milkovich #mandy milkovich #iggy milkovich #colin milkovich #Milkovich family #Ian Gallagher #gallavich #fanfic #shameless fanfic #shameless #i know it’s kind of an intense storyline but I feel like them becoming close again would involve some tough stuff maybe

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kichimiangra · 10 months

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Have you decided on a name for Specter's ape trainer? If he was captured by Specter's forces, how would the confrontation between him and Specter go?

In relation to the Trainer at the Monkey Park:

I wanted to give him a really normal sounding name, and because nannersverse is specifically based off of the English dub I wanted it to be a kinda normal English name so in my head I've been calling him "Trainer Morgan" as if that was his full name.

If Specter captured him and if it took place within the Nannersverse AU then the last time they saw each other was the booby trapped miniskirt storyline with the trip to the monkey Park. He leaves with Spike to a back store room on the stage to get the balloons they're looking for, only to return and see that Spike's little friend "Spencer" has gotten the juvenile chimps he was trying to train on the closed stage to juggle with each other (easily for Specter who can make them listen). Trainer Morgan is so impressed and overjoyed at the progress this random short guy who's dressed way too warmly for the heated stage has some kind of magic touch with the Apes and enthusiastically shakes his hand only to cause the oversized sleeves on his fancy jacket to scoot up revealing the white hair of his wrist growing down to his mid hand.

It's a slow moment of realization for Trainer Morgan, looking up to examine what is visible of the albinos face past the disguise, Specter standing stock still not knowing what to do and Spike looking on, hoping this becomes a healthy interaction for the ape. This doesn't come to be as the minute that the trainer gingerly pulls the scarf down confirming the shorter's identity and silently mouthing his name only for Specter's fight or flight to kick in and he grabs Spike and bolts. Trainer Morgan is last seen visiting the Professor's lab, recognizing Jake and Natalie from when they returned Specter in AE1, and leaving some of Specter's more beloved childhood belongings with them to give to Specter, or give to Spike to give to Specter not being aware of the whole situation and causing a lot of confusion for team Protag. "Wait, so you're telling me you saw Spike? Like in person? He was literally right here in the city?! At the Monkey Park!? Buying.... Cake and balloons...? In a hot pink mini skirt and crop top???????? WITH SPECTER?! What the actual fuck???????"

So if Specter were to capture the Trainer that interaction would probably be way more prepared and showboating than the one at the park partially trying to impress the Trainer and how good he's doing while Spike is off in the corner going "You KIDNAPPeD HIM!?!? THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" Spike just reeling in the "Muppets kidnapped Jack Black" way

You're not too far off actually, the only major difference is that most of that convo happens between the Trainer and Spike, as Specter is keeping his distance until Spike warms up/gets what they came for.

In Specter's head he's always had the plan forming. Step 1: Take over the world for apes and ape kind. Step 2: Subjugate his enemies so they can't stop him. Step 3: Go collect the Monkey Trainer and treat him as a most beloved pet while still lording over him because he is a superior ape Step 4: profit.

Clearly the trainer would be so impressed by Specter's successes in life that Specter would feel an intense level of being whole and fulfilled? But god help if things don't go exactly as he plans or dear say... all the successes go right over the trainer's head?

Specter goes in expecting some kind of protagonist level of resistance or disappointment or resentment from the trainer that he's going to have to iron out, as that is his main interaction with humans; being told he is going to be thwarted and resisted. Instead you get scenes like Specter showing off a Goliath Armor to express his technological prowess or the Trainer, but the trainer is just standing there, you'd think in aw before turning to Specter and asking "But can't it Hi-five? :>? " S: "..... what..... I mean, it has hands but why would it need to do that?" T: "Well what if you're driving it around, and a kid sees it and thinks 'That is so cool! I wish I could hi-five that robot!' but then you turn around and you DO hi-five them with the robot gorilla? And it makes their day and they think you're really cool?" S: "...WHY WOULD I EVER DO--" *Hard cuts to the two standing in front of several Goliath armor sized hand print-holes in the walls* *The Trainer is looking at it like it still needs work* *Specter is impressionable and surprisingly going to ocd over the fact that Goliark CAN'T gently hi-five if needed.* In Fairness The trainer would probably adapt and be adopted into the Piposaru faster than Spike was. He has no ill will or need to resist, he's familiar with how apes work, even if these apes are enlightened, and he cares enough to immediately want to make life better for them. Basically would play the same as Spike's scenario, but no romance and speedrun world record pace. Especially Pink's storyline would be quickly resolved, because he may not know which ape's Blue and Pink WERE at the park immediately, once he's told he'd recognize her as the ape that was taken out of the public and left isolated, something any of the other (good) park trainers would have been strongly against.

I take back what I said before, The Trainer AND Jimmy would be like Spike's storyline but world record speedrun because the two would just win the Piposaru over practically overnight

#ape escape #nannersverse

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 months

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December 27: Some Daria Thoughts

I’m trying to slow down with my Daria rewatch because I’m too obsessed and have too few episodes left, and I’ve been mainlining it too hard. But I am really enjoying it. I think taking several years off from my formerly regular rewatches helped. But I also… don’t want to leave the universe of it, I guess. I’ve been toying around with some fic ideas, nothing that I would share but just something fun for me. Also I feel like I could use some ‘seriously this can be bad it’s just for me’ writing, to help loosen up.

Anyway, I’ve gotten almost to the end of S4, or the Tom Troubles Storyline. I definitely just let this story wash over me when I watched as a teenager and enjoyed the sort of sordidness of it but it’s different to watch as an adult. He’s so fucking annoying. It’s so unforgivable to cheat on your girlfriend with her best friend AND be so sanctimonious about it AND then to totally get away with it! I think making out with one’s best friend’s boyfriend is also unforgivable but in Daria’s case it’s more of a she-can’t-help-it-she’s-drawn-that-way scenario, or in other words, I don’t really think that’s in character for her and to the extent that it is OOC that’s a writing mistake, something to be annoyed at on a meta level. And even if you can kind of make that work—people make mistakes, 17-year-olds make lots of mistakes, this is an area far out of her comfort zone or expertise, sometimes we want to tell certain stories and that means stretching the limits of believable characterizations especially in long-form, serial narratives—she shouldn’t have stayed with him for a year! A year! That piece of toast!

The thing is that I do get why they did it. The show was getting pretty weird in S3, perhaps a little bored with itself, and after 3 full seasons I think it was also ready to grow, and ready for its characters to grow. I think bringing in Tom was an attempt to give Daria specifically, the character, room to grow: first by separating her from Jane and thus forcing her to explore other relationships or even just herself in solitude, and second by laying the groundwork for Tom/Daria in S5. I understand the desire to give the main character a boyfriend, especially at that point in the show. But it’s hard to imagine where Daria would find someone to date: first off it would have to be a new character, because there are no viable men in the existing cast and almost every character at this point in the show exists to be skewered, and second because her friendship with Jane is so intense and codependent. There might be one-off new characters like Ted (gay, btw), but for Daria to really want to date someone she’d have to get quite close to him and to get close to someone she’d need to detach herself at least a little bit from Jane.

Jane, yeah, one could imagine her dating someone: she’s always been more into men than Daria, she’s always been more willing to go out on her own, she’s always been less socially awkward and less dependent. And once she becomes serious with someone, that person is in Daria’s orbit and she can plausibly gain an interest in him that she wouldn’t have the chance to gain in anyone else. I mean, lol, even the safely unattainable Trent is Jane’s older brother.

That said, Tom plays a pretty minor role in S4. Mostly he exists to pull Jane away from Daria, as I said, although every time he and Daria do interact, they get along better than she wants them to. (And he’s also totally inappropriate with her! She doesn’t know how to flirt but he damn sure does! Looking at you I Loathe a Parade.) A lot of the story line that makes IIFY possible comes in those two episode right at the end of S4, the ones I haven’t gotten to yet in this rewatch. My feeling is… it might be worth using Tom to test the Daria and Jane friendship but Daria and Tom should have broken up either in the movie or by early S5. The only issue is that I think all of these earlier plot points exist NOT to test the Daria and Jane friendship or to help Daria become less co-dependent but to set her up for a S5 boyfriend the only way they knew how. And I can’t really argue that there aren’t many paths to ‘Daria dates in high school’ that AREN’T ‘Daria poaches Jane’s boyfriend,’ annoying as that is.

#the year 2023 #2023: fandom thoughts #i was out and about today then did a little reading #hoping to write more tomorrow even though i'm getting very tired of this fic!! haha

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wenellyb · 3 years

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

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best laid plans, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the middle of the night. You’re asleep next to your model boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook, who is jacking off while touching your tits. Wait. Hold on a second. What? (He is still your model boyfriend though, even after all that.)

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; actually low-key crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-masturbation, handjob (while sucking on JK’s balls, lucky guy), tiny bit of nipple play and pussy slapping, edging, cowgirl, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts and i did make a Dynamite lyric reference with JK’s dick and you can’t stop me

yes, the title is a pun, channeling my inner seokjinnie it’s what you think it is and it’s also not

–

Your dreams were always vivid and intense.

Was it normal to have movie-level, hyperdetailed, sometimes not even involving you or anyone you knew (at least consciously), insane storyline dreams on a constant basis (without medication causing them)? You know, maybe not. You should get that checked out. But not today, because this is not the story about that (you really should get that checked out).

This is the story about you dreaming about your boyfriend jacking off next to asleep you and then realizing it was not a dream.

At first you were like, man, that sure sounds like Jeon Jungkook breathing hard. Was he working out? Why are you having dreams about Jungkook working out? That's literally the most pointless, mundane dream you could ever have. Also, you weren't seeing anything, just blackness. What was the damn point of this dream you couldn't even look at him?

(To be honest, that’s very rude of you, brain.)

Jungkook always asked you to work out at home with him but, one, he was annoying as fuck to work out with because all he did was stare at you ("oh yeah, my bad for thinking you're sexy, holy shit, what a crime to think my girlfriend and future wife is hot!"); two, you literally had zero motivation to work out (not lazy, just, you know, didn't give a shit and Jungkook called that your great flaw of being his perfect girlfriend – but he loved all your soft bits so he was sending you mixed messages, tsk tsk); and finally, three, it always led up to fucking, so why go through all that trouble hyping yourself up in your leggings and sports bra, only to spend five minutes in them and forty-five doing a whole different kind of workout that didn't require clothes?

Exactly.

Just skip that shit and get to the naked part.

Oh, right, back to the whole deep-breathing Jungkook and you seeing darkness thing.

Sometimes you had dreams with only sound and very little visual. It was disorienting, giving you the feeling of being trapped in a maze with no way out (dream analysts would be all over that shit) and once the images returned, you were usually naked (psychologists would have a field day with that). But this time, you were unmoving. Listening to tense inhale, drawn-out exhale, over and over, and you only recognized it as Jungkook because he did that thing where he sucked on his teeth a little, making that almost inaudible hiss noise.

You felt heavy, tired, sluggish, as if you were dragging yourself through mud, in between the brink of conscious and subconscious, in that brief moment where you could control the dream but not your body, that little pocket of utopia. You searched for Jungkook in the darkness, curious to find him, and you couldn't, but he seemed to be beside you, to your right, where he usually was when you slept. Next to you, sometimes snoring so you'd have to smack him in the chest and he'd snort and stop (for a hot second, then you'd roll him to his side so at least he wouldn't be snoring in your ear). His pectoral muscles were bigger lately (you hated working out but you sure as hell didn't hate Jungkook working out) and the slapping sound was pretty satisfying now, palm to hard muscle.

Kind of like the sound right now.

Wait.

You weren't slapping Jungkook's pecs.

You furrowed your brows. Huh? Why were you hearing that soft smacking sound over and over, Jungkook's low hiss and then your name in a deep hazy whisper and why was your front cold? You usually slept with only panties, no bra, but you weren't usually cold up top – that's what the linen duvet was for (you paid way too much for that, but you saw it on Instagram and, hey, it's your money, go off) and, to be honest, you used to be a cute pajamas person but, ever since you started living with Jungkook, he wanted you to wear as much as he did when he slept (read: literally only his boxer briefs). Lots of begging (and him being on his knees for you) later, and now it was your habit to strip before sleeping.

Anyway, back to being cold.

You scrunched up your face and listened to the labored breathing in your right, a hand drifting on your stomach, tracing your bellybutton, moving up, light, delicate touches, the sound of skin on skin. A gentle fingertip brushed your nipple.

You cracked your eyes open.

There was a tiny bit of light from your computer, the RGB keyboard casting a faint rainbow. You shifted your eyes to your right.

Jungkook's left arm was in an awkward position, softly caressing your nipple as he violently pumped his dick.

On the bed.

Underwear gone.

On the floor? Probably.

He looked pretty damn hard. (Nice.)

Your eyes floated to his face and his eyes were closed, mouth open, trying not to make any noise, gasping your name. Shapely jaw, soft cheeks, dark lashes, ash blond hair framing his handsome features, so beautiful it was unreal. His head turned towards you and his dark brown eyes slowly opened, purring your name lovingly.

"Yeah, Jungkook?"

You saw the single blissful second it took for Jungkook's brain to catch up.

Then he choked.

On air and his dick by squeezing it far too hard in complete and utter shock.

"HOLY FUCK!"

He yanked his hand back, off your chest (feels bad man) and released his cock, causing it to bounce a little in the air (kind of sexy, not gonna lie), both of them shooting up to cover his rapidly reddening cheeks, one tattooed, one not, his inked right arm tense and his hand glistening with points of pre-cum.

You blinked innocently at him.

"Oh, shit, fuck, I'm so sorry, um, l–listen," he sputtered, dick still sticking straight up, completely oblivious to Jungkook's embarrassment (ignorance is bliss). "I... I have a good reason, I s-swear."

You rolled onto your side and squished your tits together. Jungkook's brain seemed to implode a little, staring at your squashed breasts and hard nipples like it was the first time (even though you knew he literally sees them at least once a day).

"You're horny?"

Your voice cracked a little from sleep and you coughed to clear your throat (not sexy, but such is life).

Jungkook's shaking pupils were too busy staring at your titties. "Y-Yeah, I just woke up randomly horny as fuck, but I know how much you hate having your sleep disturbed so I was just going to edge myself a little... well, maybe finish…"

"You masturbating while touching my tits is not going to disturb me?"

"I... I've done it before..."

???????

"Uh..."

"I don't touch you very much!" Jungkook blurted, grabbing your hands. "P-Please don't be mad! I only touch you a little and always very carefully! I never try to take advantage, I'm just horny, please, please, please don't be mad!"

He grabbed you by the shoulders and hugged you tightly. You grimaced, not because of the hug (Jungkook’s hugs were top tier), but because his hard dick jammed right into your thigh and smeared a giant line of pre-cum onto your skin (a little cold and not nearly as sexy as internet smut stories make it out to be, but maybe that was because you literally woke up to Jungkook jacking off without giving you so much as an invitation, rude). You gasped and retreated a little, but that made Jungkook try to grab you tighter and his cock bent upwards and jabbed you in the lower belly.

Still leaking everywhere, by the way.

"Oh shit–"

"Look here Excalibur, I'm not the stone waiting for the king," you winced, swiping your hand across your skin and wiping it on the side of his ass (hey, it's free real estate). Jungkook yelped, letting go of you.

"Hey!"

"If you're horny, let's fuck, not joust. I don't have the proper equipment for that and I'm not an undercover Lancelot, as dope as that would be."

"I should be turned off by now," Jungkook muttered under his breath (probably cursing your poorly timed King Arthur jokes – you did have a tendency to wear your mind on your sleeve). "But I'm not because, fuck, look at this body..."

His hands were already running all over your skin and, if there was one thing Jungkook had an extra zest for, it was fucking you – all the time, twenty-four seven, rest in peace responsibilities if you ever decided to become a nudist, but thankfully you had self-control (not when it came to terrible jokes at inappropriate times though, that was your vice). However, sleepy you had less self-control and let him do whatever he wanted, running his fingers all over your chest, making you shiver and slide closer to him, rubbing your thigh against his length and he sucked in a breath, whispering your name hotly against your cheek.

"S-Stop, I'm going to get horny..."

"You're already horny," you hummed into his chin, running your fingers through his blond hair, closing your eyes again, listening to his soft moan against your cheek (he always sounded so good, so fucking sexy, it was sinful), your left hand sliding down between you both. his palms pressed into your breasts, squeezing them roughly as you cupped your hand around his length and balls (Jungkook was really warm and your hands were kind of cold, this turned out to be a win-win situation, sweet). You wound your fingers around his length with two fingers hooked around his balls, bouncing them lightly as you rubbed his velvety skin, sighing against his neck.

"Pog."

"Do not Twitch chat talk to my dick," Jungkook muttered. "Also, what kind of weak-ass handjob is this, are you just warming your cold-as-fuck fingers–" (well, shit) "–oh, fuck!"

You gripped his cock with your left hand and buried your fingers in his hair, tongue between your lips as you roughly stroked his length, making Jungkook squirm and gasp above you, jerking back. You kept your hold on him, tighter, feeling him swell and get harder, grinning, your eyes still closed, working him fast and firm.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jungkook swore repeatedly, pinching your nipples and rolling them between his fingers (damn, he was making you work to keep this smirk on your face, but it was worth), tendrils of pleasure snaking through you. You bit the side of your lip, increasing your pace, squeezing just under the head the way he liked, pre-cum pooling around the pocket of your index finger and thumb, adding lubrication.

"Stop, s-stop, I'm gonna e-explode," Jungkook moaned, planting his hands onto your tits and sinking his fingers in the softness once more (hello? where's the titty love, this ain't all about you, Jungkook).

"I like dynamite," was you answer, cracking one eye open. "Light it up."

Jungkook growled in his throat, glaring at you. "I swear to God, if you weren't so fucking hot, I'd be so fucking limp right no–aah, d-don't, oh fuuuck, please..."

You slid down the bed, switching hands, attaching your mouth to his balls (he was probably grateful for that, can't talk with a mouthful of nuts, sad) and put your breasts on his thigh, rubbing your nipples all over his hard muscle as you sucked, starting off slow, then faster and faster, one to the other, tongue all over, Jungkook loudly rambling nonsense above you (you weren't paying attention, you had a dick to jack off and some balls to rearrange with your masterful tongue) until Jungkook squealed at your firm grip on the head, cutting off his orgasm once again.

"Stop edging me," he hissed angrily above you.

You blew a raspberry on his nuts.

"A-ah, fuuuuuuuuck!"

Oh, that turned out to be more pleasurable than either you or Jungkook imagined, because his eyes were gigantic and his hips were furiously humping your hand, but you weren't holding him tight enough for him to cum. You raised your eyebrows at him and Jungkook gave you the most displeased expression he could muster (he looked cute as fuck, a complete fail), ash blond strands clinging to his forehead, nose scrunched up.

"That was for jacking off without me," you tutted.

"You would have gotten pissed if I woke you up to fuck," he pouted.

"I need beauty sleep to be beautiful."

"I hear facials actually help quite a lot."

You burst out laughing and Jungkook followed suit, his rich, full, almost wheezing laugh, until he realized you had swiped a condom from the nightstand (yup, they were casually in a little moon-shaped dish by the bed next to the chap stick and phone charger, says a lot about you two), fitted it on him, and then you sat on his dick.

"W-Wait – oooooooh, fuck!"

You waited a second for your body to adjust, forcefully stretched out by his thick girth, but it wasn't that bad when you were controlling your muscles and expecting it, so you started rocking your hips after the second, sighing in satisfaction. Jungkook's eyes rolled back into his head, his long fingers bunching up on his chest, raising his ass to get deeper with every slap of hips to hips, your body talking to his, heat rising through you, branching out your spine and to your limbs, the best kind of workout (your only workout, be honest here), clenching your core, making Jungkook snap his head back in panic, shaking his head furiously.

"I'm g-gonna cum if you keep going l-like that..."

You leaned down, brushing his hands away and spreading your fingers over his pecs, running your nails over his hard nipples. Jungkook whimpered, chewing on his lip, you turning the tempo from a fast one to a longer, slower, more complete stroke from head to base, soft ass smacking his soft balls. He looked up at you, moaning softly, pupils blown wide, rainbow shadows over his face (damn, he's pretty, eleven out of ten, for sure), gasping your name, his hands finding your forearms and caressing them, eyelashes fluttering.

"O-oh, fuck, p-please... faster... wanna cum... you're so fucking sexy... ah, fuck, wanna cum for you..."

No one could say no to that, especially not you.

You slid your arms down to the bed, right beside his head, and increased the force, intensifying it all, Jungkook's fingers flying up and holding onto your nipples, the sheer wildness of your own pace tugging and pulling on them, your breathing deepening, panting hard, wispy and hot, his name on your lips, pleasure all over, passionately fucking him into the bed, and him jutting his hips back into your soaked walls, throbbing against the tightness, so hot, fire coursing through you, your juices soaking his crotch and balls.

“Jungkook, oh, fuck, yes...”

You squeezed him hard and Jungkook thrust into you with a groan, all hardness and thickness violently burying itself into your overwhelming heat and you moaned lustfully, pussy shuddering around his wonderful cock, feeling it shiver repeatedly, his orgasm filling up the condom so much that you felt the latex stretch inside you, jarring jerks with each of Jungkook's soft cries, his head shoved into the pillows, blond hair fanning out like a halo and practically wearing out your name with how many times he was chanting it.

You reached and held down the condom as you unsheathed (the beast), collapsing against the bed and laying down, wheezing a little, greatly satisfied at your work.

"Boom."

You weakly reached up and mimed a firework with one hand.

"Like dynamite."

"Oh, my fucking God," Jungkook muttered, peeling off the condom and immediately snatching the towel next to the bed (also says a lot about you two) and another condom, yanking off the other one (trash can next to the bed already, again says – never mind, you get it) and cleaning himself off before putting on the new one. "On your back."

You rolled on your back, snickering. "Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap–"

Jungkook clapped a hand on your mouth and it smelled a whole lot like his cum. "This is not the time to be quoting the Addams Family, you animal."

You nuzzled out of it, grinning. "I'm just saying I want an orgasm equivalent to blowing up a small house."

"Oh, you'll get it," Jungkook growled, yanking your hips to the center of the bed, pushing your legs up to your chest, almost bending you in half. "You ready?"

You bit your lip, still grinning. "Of course."

One hand left your leg and you were confused for a split second.

The next you were gasping, Jungkook rapidly smacking his hand into your clit and pussy, not hard, but constant, swift smacks that got you wetter and wetter, quivering and struggling for breath.

"J-Jungkook, oh f-fuck, Jungkook..." you whined, fingers digging into the sheets, twisting them, bouncing your hips towards him. He inhaled sharply, fitting his finger onto your clit and raising himself.

"W-wait – oh fuck!"

Jungkook chuckled and thrust into your wet warmth, rubbing your clit at the same time. Your body squirmed, trying to alleviate the sudden high rush of pleasure, but Jungkook was stronger (was this the reason he worked out? no complaints here), his free hand pressing your leg down into your chest, your other leg crammed against his shoulder, his hand snaking in between and stimulating your clit, not having to move because you were moaning helplessly, rutting against him repeatedly, pulsating all around him, so good, so good, throbs of desire against his callused fingertip, eyes rolling back. Hard cock, engorged clit worked into a frenzy, your own hips fucking him back so hard that Jungkook was moaning with you, your name tumbling out from those pink lips.

"Cum for me, fuck, you sound and look so sexy, come on, come on..."

You would have praise for him too if you could breathe, but you couldn't, pleasure so overwhelming that your eyes closed, getting there, getting so close, and Jungkook he kept going until you wailed his name, back arcing, your tits hitting your thighs, forearms taut and straining, lower body lurching towards him and leaking out slick juices all over his crotch and yours, so much so that his finger slipped and his nail nicked your clit, turning your moan into a howl of ecstasy.

"Oh, shit, are you ok–"

You grabbed his hips, ignoring whatever the fuck he was saying, and slammed him down into your pussy, making Jungkook lose his balance and put his hands on the bed, yelping, and you hissing in his face, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, Jungkook, give me your cock, and Jungkook was saying something but your body gave no fucks, ears mysteriously broken at that specific moment, raising your hips to meet his as he sank down, Jungkook's face scrunching up and his pleas finally reaching your ears.

"H-Hold on, I want to last, stop, stop, stop..."

"Who cares about that, I need dick," was your very impatient response, but Jungkook grabbed your thighs and pinned you down, stopping you and him from moving, you whining and clenching around him.

"This is not p–"

Jungkook immediately fitted his hand over your mouth, narrowing his eyes at you. "No. Bad. Shush."

(How did he know you were going to say 'this is not poggers'?)

You wiggled your ass and Jungkook growled, pulling out and slamming back in, not fast, but powerful, cock getting harder and harder with your whines and cries behind his palm.

"This is what you need," he panted, deep and gravelly, one hand on the bed and one on your mouth, fucking you so hard that your ass was bouncing on the bed, creating a wet spot on the sheets with how drenched you were for Jungkook's lust-filled, husky voice. "Need me to fuck you silent, fuck, you're so tight and wet, come on, cum for me, cum for me, you sexy, sexy woman..."

Your body was already complying, pleasure wrapping all around, body so hot from the fire within, tongue pressed against his palm, moaning lewdly around his fingers as you came again, and he was so hard, fuck, Jungkook was so fucking hard right after he woke up, always, (a fucking mystery and eighth wonder of the world and your pussy was thoroughly investigating), so deep and so thick, your muscles clutching him tight, sucking him back in. His fingers separated a little, loosening his grip, and you heard your needy whimper mildly muffled by his digits.

"You're so good Jungkook, I love you, fuck, I love your cock, Jungkook..."

You looked up into his eyes, at his long hair hanging around his face, jaw clenched, smirking as he saw your gaze, biting the side of his lips in concentration.

"I love you too," he breathed. "You're the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world."

You clamped around him and Jungkook groaned, eyelids fluttering, grunting as he forcefully thrust into you, your name mixed with a moan as he came again, fully sheathing himself in your quivering, abused heat, warm pulses soothing him and you all over. The sheets stuck to your ass, covered in your sweet-smelling cum.

(Good thing that was on his side of the bed.)

His hand glided up your face, pushing back your hair, shuddering as he rutted into your core a few more times, savoring your tightness.

"You alright, my dude?" you whispered nonchalantly, gasping slightly.

Jungkook cracked one eye open. "Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic, bro."

"Pog-"

Jungkook shoved two fingers into your mouth and you choked a little, pouting around his fingers (you weren't surprised though, you knew it was coming).

"I will whip this dick out and slap you in the face with it."

"That's kinda nasty, but also sounds kinda hot," you gargled around his fingers.

"... You're right. Damn, he's asleep. Shit."

Jungkook pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the towel, frowning as he glanced down.

"Only him and not us, something seems a little inverted here."

Jungkook chuckled and leaned down to kiss you (another reason why he was the perfect partner, still being affectionate, regardless of your loony antics).

"I love you."

in which you anger jjk by being annoying - wait, that’s every day well, he still wants to bang you counter point

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut

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gc-genshin · 3 years

Text

Chapter One: Acatalepsy

Acatalepsy (noun): The idea that it is impossible to truly comprehend anything.

Pairing: Various x female reader

Summary: You and Xiao have a nice chat.

Warnings: Explicit language

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: Since so many people wanted this series to continue, here’s officially Chapter One! Happy reading!

Prologue Chapter Two

You're still having a hard time believing what you're seeing.

In front of you sat Xiao, one of your favorite characters from Genshin Impact, glaring daggers at your seated form. A small table, no bigger than three feet wide, separated you from him.

And there you sat across from him, shaking in your metaphorical boots under his intense gaze.

Let's recap, shall we?

—

“Hi, my name’s [Name] [Last Name] and I'm from a world where you're a fictional character in a video game. It's nice to finally meet you, Guardian Yaksha Xiao.”

As soon as his name slipped from your lips, your neck was met with the end of his polearm. Though you somewhat expected this kind of reaction, you swore your soul had never left your body so fast.

“How do you know my name?” Xiao really did growl at you this time. His amber eyes pierced into your now soulless body, looking downright murderous.

“How do you know that about me? That I was apart of the Yaksha?” If you didn't know any better, you'd say Xiao was getting frantic. You did know better. But you were also a dumbass.

“Would you believe that I'm twenty-two now?” You managed to choke out. The polearm nearly breaking the skin on your neck was your only answer. “OKAY, OKAY, I’M SORRY! Please give me a chance to explain myself! I’ll tell you everything, just please don't turn my head into a shish-kabob!” You pleaded while closing your eyes. Wow, this is the second time today that I've danced with death, you thought humorously.

Xiao stared. And stared. Then stared some more. You were starting to sweat from his unresponsiveness. Peeking an eye open, you saw Xiao contemplate whether or not to believe you. You watched his beautiful amber irises flicker across your face, looking for any sign of deceit.

When he found none, he pulled his polearm away. Not completely, he was still on high alert, but enough so that you could breathe. You nearly wept real Jesus tears when he did. But that almost changed when he roughly grabbed your upper arm and transported you to his room at the Wangshu Inn.

The moment you both rematerialized he let go of your arm. Having been caught off guard from teleporting, you fell to the floor dizzy while trying to keep the vomit that crept up your esophagus down.

Xiao stared blankly at you, “What? Have never experienced teleporting before?”

Looking up at him from the floor, you take a deep breath before responding to him. “No, teleportation is nothing but a pipe dream from my world.” You then slowly sat up and gave him a tired, lopsided smile, “I’d be long dead before it's ever invented.”

Xiao once again just stares at you. You were such an odd human. He had never experienced someone with your type of personality.

Focusing on the task at hand, Xiao walked over towards a small table and proceeded to sit down on one side of it. He then pointed to the side in front of him and uttered a simple word.

“Explain.”

—

And so you did.

You explained everything to him. Like how you were currently a medical student, studying to be an ER doctor. You explained to him how he was a part of a video game you played in your downtime when you weren't studying. How you knew his background. That you knew what was going to happen in the future.

You explained it all.

“So… in your world you're actually twenty-two?” Xiao asked slowly, trying to fully comprehend what you had told him.

“Yup.”

“And your occupation was a healer?”

“Well I was still studying to become one, but essentially yes.”

“And I am considered a fictional character from a video game that you played.”

“Yup.”

“And you know everything that's going to happen in the future?” He pressed.

“Well not everything, only up to a certain point. Which leads me to ask this…” You prop your elbows on the table, interlacing your fingers then resting your chin on them. “Have you seen boy around my ‘age’,” you put air quotations around age, “ with long, braided blonde hair and dressed in all black?” You asked. “He would also have a floating companion that talks a little too much.”

Xiao shook his head. “No, I have not come across anyone that fits your description.”

Looking off to the side, you thought to yourself. Good. So he hasn’t been to Liyue yet.

Xiao raised an eyebrow at you. “How is that good?”

Startled, you whip your head to Xiao. Shit, I guess I said that out loud.

You give a hefty sigh. “Because it gives me a good idea of where I am in the storyline.” You say, looking back to him. “If he hasn’t shown up in Liyue yet that could mean I'm near the beginning of the game. Hell, he might not have even come yet.” You raise a finger to your chin. Then what would be the point of me being here? Would that make me the next traveler then? You looked towards Xiao. Well whatever the reason is, I'm here now. And it's important I found out why. I'll figure out the Aether situation when I get there.

Xiao looked at you confused. “Who are you talking about?”

You snapped out of your thoughts. Hesitating to answer Xiao, you wondered if it was a good idea to tell him about our main protagonist and antagonist just yet.

You give him a apprehensive smile. “I don't know if I should tell you just yet. I don't unknowingly want to start a butterfly effect. I'm sorry.”

Xiao then sighed and put his head in his hands, seemingly at a loss as to what's going on.

I think this is the most emotion I've ever seen from him.

You had half the mind to reach over the table and pet his head to try and calm him down. But then again, you quite liked having your arm, so you decided against it.

You gently spoke to him, “Trust me, I don't know what the hell’s going on either hun. If I knew more then I would tell you in a heartbeat.” You freeze, catching your little mishap. Xiao slowly lifted his head from his hands, looking at you quizzically. No anger, no vexation. Just pure confusion.

“Hun?” You feel your face start to heat up in embarrassment, hearing him say it. It was a bad habit that you had, calling your friends pet names; mainly just friends that you trusted. And you trusted Xiao.

“I'm sorry! It's a really bad habit of mine. I usually call all of my friends a term of endearment. Hun is short for honey, but I swear to God I didn't mean to call you that, it just slipped out!” You quickly explained to him, shaking your hands in front of you.

Xiao stared at you. You noticed he did that a lot. He's probably just trying to understand your weird mannerisms. “It's fine… I guess.” He said, finally looking away from you.

One… Two… Three… Four…

Ah, the silence is awkward now, say something [Name]!

As soon as you were about to open your mouth, Xiao beat you to it. “So what's your plan now?” He asked, now looking back at you.

You blinked at him for a few seconds, processing what he said. You then looked up to the ceiling, deep in thought. What is my plan now? What am I going to do? I obviously can't stay with Xiao, with him being an adeptus, and leech off of him. Maybe I could go to the Adventures’ Guild? Earn some commissions, maybe be homeless for a bit? But I don't even know how to use a sword. No, that wouldn't work–

Cutting your thoughts off, you responded to him with the only answer you could think of.

“I don't know, haven't thought that far ahead.”

Xiao should be used to this already. He really should. But he couldn't help but send the odd girl an unconvinced look.

“You haven't thought of a plan?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey! Need I remind you that you were there from the very beginning? I haven't really had the time nor the mental capacity to think of a plan for the future!” You huffed at him indignantly. This guy. You shake your head, clearing any annoyance you had with him. Getting irritated isn't going to help your situation [Name], relax. Taking a deep breath, you looked at Xiao. He seemed to be in deep thought, so you decided to not bother him.

Crossing your arms on the table, you finally felt exhaustion catching up to you since the adrenaline of everything was wearing off. You laid your head in your arms and sighed, trying your best to ward off sleep.

Xiao looked over at you. Seeing the state you're in, he decided you weren't fit to travel anymore. He then stood up, having made up his mind.

Noticing the abrupt movement from across the table, you see Xiao stand up and walk towards the door.

“Wh… where're you going?” You mumbled to him, too tired to raise your voice. Xiao looked back at you with his hand on the doorknob. “You're not fit to travel any more today. I'm going to talk to the receptionist about getting you a room here at the Inn.” He then opened the door and left.

You stared at the spot he was in for a few seconds. Huh, maybe he isn't such an asshole. You then put your head back into your arms, smiling softly. “Though I knew that already. Thank you Xiao.” That was the last thing you said before finally succumbing to sleep.

—

While walking down the flights of steps to talk to Verr Goldet about your accommodations, Xiao felt a shiver going up his spine. A whisper of his name in your voice flew through the breeze and into his ears. He paused in his steps, contemplating whether he should go back or not. You said you knew what happens when you called his name, yet why would you say it right after he left the room? Xiao suddenly felt nervous for reasons he did not know and teleported back to his room, polearm at the ready to strike any threats that appeared before you or him.

When he only saw you slouched over the table asleep, he relaxed. That was strange. I could have sworn I heard her beckon me. Glancing at you once more, he decided to ask you about it later. He then left the room and teleported right in front of the front desk, scaring Verr Goldet and the Inn’s cat out of their wits.

“Archons, Xiao! A little warning next time would be nice!” Verr Goldet exclaimed, a hand over heart hoping it wouldn't burst out of her chest. Xiao proceeded to ignore her.

“I need a vacant room.” Xiao stated.

Always straight to the point, thought Verr Goldet. “I'm sorry Xiao, but we don't have any vacant rooms. We're all booked for this years Lantern Rite Festival.” She tells Xiao. The young adeptus deadpanned at Verr Goldet. “Don't look at me like that. Why do you even need another room?” Verr Goldet wondered.

Xiao sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It's a complicated situation. Let's just say I have an unwelcome guest with me right now.”

Although curious, Verr Goldet just shrugged knowing he wouldn’t outright tell her. “Well either they stay with you or you kick them out. We don't have any rooms for them to stay in unfortunately, so the choice is yours.”

The young adeptus sighed once more.

How troublesome.

—

Appearing back in his room, Xiao looked at you. You were still hunched over the table, in what looked like an uncomfortable position, yet you were still asleep. Xiao weighed his options. On one hand, if you stayed with him he didn't know if you would leave, which would cause problems for the both of them. On the other hand, he could wake you up and kick you to the streets but deal with gnawing guilt that would eat at him if you were ever harmed because of his decisions.

Making up his mind, he walked over to your sleeping form. He then crouched next to you and gently scooped into his arms, doing his best not to wake you. However it seems that you were a deep sleeper and didn't stir in the slightest to being moved. You did, however, snuggle in closer to his chest seeking the warmth it gave off.

Xiao froze, waiting for you to stop moving before moving you over to his bed. Settling you on the bed, you immediately started reaching for blankets craving the protection they gave you from the cold. Xiao only shook his head and rolled his eyes at you, handing you the blankets you oh-so-desperately needed. Is she really twenty-two? Because she acts like a child. Xiao watched as you pulled the blankets up to your chin and snuggled into his pillow, [h/l] [h/c] hair draping over it.

Not needing sleep, the young adeptus decided to sit next to you and watch over you. Not in a creepy way, but in more of a way of trying to understand you. You might have been the strangest human he's ever met, but you were charming. In your own, unique way.

While watching you, Xiao was trying to figure out what to do with you. As far as he knew, you were defenseless, didn't know how to protect yourself, and had a sharp tongue that would most definitely get you into trouble.

In other words, Xiao hadn't thought that far ahead.

There she is! Chapter One! I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! As always, feel free to leave any suggestions and constructive criticism and if you wish to be on the taglist, please let me know!

Thank you for reading!

Taglist:

@craptainlou @lucys-art @dilucsz @i-put-the-dying-in-studying @softyakult @lumi-ying @fraeppuccino @ayachii @cher7ybear @simping-4-fictional-men

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silkgonerough · 3 years

Text

Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

#natal aspects #natal astrology #astro chart #astro rant #astro culture #astro observations #astrology #natal

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peaceisadirtyword · 3 years

Text

Heathen (Ivar/Edlynn)

A/N: Hello♥️ as I promised, here’s the first chapter of the new series I’m writing. The idea came to me when I was rewatching Vikings and then I planned it while rewatching The Last Kingdom. So I started writing it, doing a bit of worldbuilding to introduce some original characters and here I am. It’s set on season 6B (I'm changing things, so it will not follow the show’s storyline). And I was really excited to write the mature version of Ivar, so I’m sorry if he seems a bit out of character. This chapter might be a bit boring, but it serves as an introduction. I hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading🥰 I will post a new chapter every Thursday at 21:00 (CET).

Warnings: mentions of violence and war, talk of arranged marriage, alcohol... Well, it’s Vikings😅

Words: 4197

Summary

gif belongs to @therealcalicali

"I've heard the pagans are back"

Edlynn raised her head. She sat next to the window, and had spent most of the time looking at the rain falling outside as she leant her head against the wall. It had been raining a lot those days. The beautiful cloth she was trying to practice her embroidery on was already forgotten and abandoned on her lap, a bit dirty with blood from all those times she had poked her finger with the needle.

The queen looked nervous when one of the girls in the room mentioned the northmen. Edlynn had also heard her father and even the king himself talking about it, whispering and with a frown, like men do when they talk about a very serious matter. They had already evacuated some of the towns near the coast, but no one really told her what was happening.

"We must trust on our men and on God" she smiled at her "They will protect England, they always have"

"I heard the king is thinking about evacuating the city too" other of the girls whined "What if they find us?"

"They won't, my dear" the queen looked uncomfortable "I don't know about the plans my husband has, he won't discuss them with me, but I'm sure he'll do what is best for our people"

Edlynn bit her lip. Queen Elsewith was nervous, she had seen her ordering the servants to start packing slowly, in case everyone had to leave the town. And there were whispers and an uneasiness that everyone had noticed.

Next to her, her friend Mildrith leant in to speak softly.

"I hope we can see the heathens from up close this time" she giggled.

Edlynn had to hold back a smile. For some reason, Mildrith had a fascination for the northmen that called themselves vikings, even if everyone else was scared of them. She had been infatuated with a viking boy that worked on the lands King Alfred had given to the northmen some time ago. Even if neither Mildrith nor Edlynn had been allowed to visit those lands, King Alfred invited some of the settlers to dine in his own home sometimes, to secure the good relations with them. The boy and Mildrith had had a short but intense romance that Edlynn helped to hide from her family and the king, and since then she had been obsessed with learning about their culture.

Edlynn could understand why, their ways and their traditions were different from the ones she had grown up with, and anyone with a bit of curiosity in them would want to know more. But no one let her learn about their Gods or they beliefs, for it was a sin.

"I don't think we will" she shook her head and spoke softly "The King won't let them"

"Maybe they will be invited for a feast" Mildrith bit her lip, excited "And we can see them. They say they're are the same ones that took York"

"We should go and pray" one of the women in the room stood up, interrupting Edlynn as she was about to answer her friend "For the safety of our country and our king, ask God to protect us"

Some of the women muttered in agreement, and soon the room filled with the noise of everyone standing and walking to the door. But before she could even stand, the queen approached. Quickly, Mildrith and her bowed their heads at Queen Elsewith respectfully.

"Edlynn, I'd like to talk to you for a moment, if you will"

She nodded slowly, and Mildrith excused herself after widening her eyes.

"Yes, queen Elsewith?"

"I just wanted to see if you were alright, Edlynn, these days I've barely seen you"

She bit her lip again. The queen was always nice and kind to her, but it was still the queen and she couldn't act like close friends with her. And she definitely couldn't speak her mind freely.

"Yes, I'm fine" she smiled softly "These days I wasn't feeling too well, I... Spent some time in my chambers just resting"

"I was worried about you, you disappeared just after your engagement to Lord Edmund, and as I've also been there, I thought maybe I could help"

The engagement. She had tried her best not to think about it the past few days. Even if Edlynn knew since she was born that she'd have to marry a stranger, it was still awkward to meet a man during a small feast that was announced as her future husband just half an hour later.

In any case, she was still lucky, Lord Edmund was handsome, young and, as far as everyone knew, nice. Edlynn wasn't that upset about it, but it was still overwhelming, and the fact that she'd have to abandon the court, her friends -oh, what would she do without Mildrith?- and her family to go and live in a stranger's home saddened her.

"Lord Edmund is a very good man that I can't wait to get to know better, and I feel honored and lucky that he chose me to be his wife" Edlynn repeated the words that Hilda, the nun that raised her after her mother's death, had made her learn in preparation for this moment.

Elsewith smiled sadly at the young girl. It was a woman's duty, but she saw a lot of herself on Edlynn and she knew she must have been scared and nervous, even if she understood it. But Edlynn had always been a proper and obedient lady and, like many other women in her position, learnt to hide her true feelings. She'd never do anything that went against her father and the King's wishes.

"The king would never have let him ask for your hand in marriage if he didn't know he's a good man, a good warrior and a good Christian" the queen reassured her "He loves your family a lot and just wishes a good life for you"

"I know, my queen, and I will always be thankful to him and to you for how much kindness you've shown me and my family"

Her smile widened.

"I also wanted to talk to you about Mildrith" Elsewith sighed and started walking to the door "She really shouldn't go around talking about how she'd like to meet a northman, it's... Not proper"

"I know" muttered Edlynn, following her "I'll talk to her"

She nodded, and just before exiting the room, Elsewith took her hand and squeezed it softly. In some way, she had always considered Edlynn her friend.

"Remember you can come and talk to me any time you need" the queen smiled again "Women understand each other much better than men"

"I will" she nodded "Thank you, my queen" Edlynn bowed her head again before Queen Elsewith turned around, walking to the nearest chapel escorted by two of the guards.

__________________________________________

King Alfred threw a feast to celebrate the engagement. Usually, this kind of things weren't celebrated that much, but Edlynn's father, Lord Eldred, had been close to King Aethelwulf and was close to King Alfred, becoming one of his most trusted men after his mother's death. Besides, Alfred and Edlynn grew up together and even if with time the both of them had learnt to keep their relationship purely formal, he still had a soft spot for her.

Edlynn's sister had been married to a lord from Mercia and her brother was a proud member of King Alfred's personal guard. Now it was her turn to make the family proud by doing her duty and what she had been born to: Stand next to her soon-to-be-husband and smile politely at strangers that couldn't care less about her and her happiness but that queued to wish the both of them a happy marriage.

Even if she knew that was what she was supposed to do, it was still boring.

"The king has told me you enjoy reading" Lord Edmund, sitting next to her, was the one that started the conversation after talking with the king and her father about war.

Edlynn was surprised when he spoke to her. It was the first time the two of them talked. She wasn't very talkative, at least not at the beginning, and didn't really expect more from him than the usual formalities. She had seen marriages like this many times, and didn't really expected him to acknowledge her much in public.

"I do" she smiled politely.

"It's nice, what kind of things you like to read?"

"Mostly, about history" she bit her lip nervously "I find the Romans particularly interesting"

Lord Edmund nodded.

"I will make sure that you have enough to read back in my castle" he said softly "And don't be afraid of asking for anything that you need or want to feel comfortable"

That surprised Edlynn even more. He smiled at her confused face and his grey eyes fixed on hers. 'At least he has pretty eyes' she thought. Maybe their children would inherit his grey eyes and not her brown ones. For some reason, she didn't feel that overwhelmed by the thought of a young child with his grey eyes and her auburn hair.

"I knew you were special since I saw you, when I first arrived here to take an oath to King Alfred after my father's death, that's why I asked your father for your hand in marriage, and I'm pleased to know there's much more about you behind your beauty"

His words were so sweet, and one lock of his bright black hair fell next to his face, giving him an attractive look that made Edlynn understand why many women had been glaring at her since the engagement was announced.

"You flatter me, my lord" she tried your best to sound confident "I appreciate your kindness, thank you"

From the corner of her eye, she could see her father and Hilda, the nun, watching her. Edlynn straightened her back and kept talking to Lord Edmund, feeling a strange emptiness inside her.

____________________________________

Ivar knew taking England wouldn't be easy, but it would definitely be easier if he was leading the entire army.

King Harald had the last word, and even if he trusted him enough to let him think about the strategies, it wasn't the same. Ivar made a flawless plan, he thought about every single detail, and he knew exactly what the english would do. It wasn't too hard.

"So, King Alfred is evacuating the city" Harald emptied his drink, taking another piece of meat before his deep blue eyes fixed on Ivar, who ate in silence next to his brother. Hvitserk ignored them, focusing on the food on his plate "Should we take it?"

Ivar raised an eyebrow and swallowed the food before taking his cup to drink some more ale.

"We need to defeat Alfred first, we can't do much with just the city"

Harald shrugged.

"Defeating him in battle won't change much either, we need to gain some more ground"

Ivar hummed, nodding.

"I agree, and we should try and find something that gives us some kind of advantage over them, because we are outnumbered and we can't defeat them just by winning battles, they can assemble another army faster than us"

"And? You're the strategist here, Ivar" Harald chuckled. In some way, he was happy to have the youngest Ragnarsson back on his side.

"We need to find something that makes them surrender to our terms and buys us some time" Ivar raised an eyebrow.

"Like a hostage?" Hvitserk raised his head for the first time since the food arrived. He let Ivar do the talk, and stuck to fighting.

Ivar smirked at his brother.

"Exactly. A hostage, dear brother"

"I don't think that a couple of soldiers captured in battle will make them surrender to our terms" Harald shrugged again "We'd need someone else, someone like..."

"The queen"

The king raised an eyebrow at him, while Ivar smiled softly.

"Christian women don't go to battle, and we can't try and break into their camp, there will be too many guards"

"Exactly, so we need to find a moment in which the men are occupied with something else, something like..."

"A battle" Hvitserk chuckled.

Ivar nodded winking at his brother.

"So you mean to kidnap the queen during the battle" Harald nodded slowly "It could work"

"The queen won't be far from the battlefield, and there won't be so many guards" Ivar shrugged, taking another bite from his plate.

"We could go and meet them on a battlefield, I already explored some of the lands around here and I think it would be easier to attract them to the woods" Ivar nibbled one of the ribs "Then, we ambush them, and keep them distracted enough time to sneak into their camp and take the queen"

"And then?" Harald looked interested. Sometimes, he found Ivar's mind fascinating.

"Then we negotiate" he shrugged "We just want some land, right? The queen in exchange for that land, I think it's a fair exchange, then, when we have the land, some resources and a place to settle down, we can continue fighting, because we will be stronger"

"But he could betray us after he gets his queen back" Hvitserk raised an eyebrow.

"I know Alfred, he won't" Ivar shook his head "Not as long as he thinks we're willing to stop the raids and the invasion if we get the land"

"So we lie to him" Harald pointed, and Ivar nodded slowly.

"But first" he raised an eyebrow "We need the queen"

_________________________________

The beds on the camp were uncomfortable. Edlynn didn't complain, though, knowing everyone had bigger problems than worrying about her not getting any sleep.

Just two days after the engagement feast, king Alfred ordered to evacuate the city. The northmen were too close, and it was too dangerous, it was the only explanation she got when her father bursted into the chambers and ordered to pack only the necessary. Edlynn barely saw him since then, as he and Edward, her brother, would ride with the king when everyone was moving and didn't leave the king's tent when they camped, too busy with battle plans and strategies. Queen Elsewith was also with them, and Edlynn's betrothed, Lord Edmund, too. Betrothed... It still sounded too irreal. At least, he rode next to the carriage she traveled in.

Mildrith was the only one that found the entire thing exciting. Edlynn often found her wandering outside the camp, and didn't mind how many times she begged her to stay in the tent, Mildrith wouldn't listen.

Edlynn could sneak a couple of books inside of her trunk, hidden between some dresses, and it was the only entertainment she had.

"They say tomorrow there will be a battle" Mildrith muttered as she watched some of the soldiers training. It was raining and the both of them stayed inside of the tent, just at the entrance so Edlynn could read and Mildrith could watch the people around.

"The King and our men will be victorious" Edlynn repeated what Hilda said every time she mentioned the war "We have God on our side"

Mildrith frowned, as she always did when she heard that phrase, which was the only thing everyone seemed to say these days.

"I'm not so sure about that, Lynn" she muttered "They are smart and their Gods are fierce, they say that they're lead by the same one that took York" she lowered her tone "Ivar the Boneless"

Her friend raised an eyebrow, the name was familiar.

"Why do they call him boneless?"

"Because he can't walk" Mildrith shrugged like it was obvious "They say he crawls around like a snake, and that he's fierce and vicious... Some even say he's the Devil incarnated"

Edlynn rolled her eyes.

"Those are tales, Mildrith, he's just a man" she chuckled "A cruel one, a heathen, but just a man, he's just like you and me"

"Some women say he's handsome too" she giggled.

"Have they seen him?"

"Yes, in York, they said he's cruel but beautiful, just looking at him felt like a sin"

Edlynn closed her book.

"You shouldn't go around saying these things, Mildrith, anyone would think you're in love with that heathen"

She laughed out loud, making some of the soldiers near them turn to look at her.

"I'm not in love with him, I don't know him" she shrugged "But I'd like to see him, at least once"

Edlynn rolled her eyes again, shaking her head before going back to the book.

__________________________________

Edlynn didn't know how to feel when she saw the men leaving. King Alfred said goodbye to his queen and Edlynn hugged her father and brother. Even Lord Edmund kissed the back of her hand and bowed his head with a gentle smile on his lips. She didn't know how to react, as she never had to say goodbye to the men when they left to battle. Should I cry? Smile? She tried her best to imitate queen Elsewith.

"Pray for us" her father kissed Edlynn's forehead softly for the last time before getting on his horse "And may God be with us"

She nodded slowly and kept silent as they left the camp.

After a couple of minutes in silence, the queen walked towards her, making Edlynn nervous. Will she scold me for not doing this well?

"Edlynn, I'd like you to join me in my tent to pray for the safe return of the king and his men"

She looked around. Some of the women looked at her, probably jealous of seeing she had the queen's favor and thinking that was the reason why she had been betrothed to Lord Edmund.

"Of course" Edlynn nodded her head respectfully, ignoring them.

The queen smiled brightly at her, relieved to hear her agreeing. She had a bad feeling about this new war, and worried about her husband, but also hoped to find some kind of peace on the tent.

"You can go, there's food and wine, I'll go talk to the priest first, and then I'll join you"

Edlynn nodded with a small smile. Her eyes found Hilda's, who smiled proudly at the young girl she loved so much. Mildrith waited until the queen had walked away and then approached her friend.

"What's with you and the queen?"

Edlynn shrugged.

"I suppose she's just trying to be nice, after all she understands what's like to be betrothed to someone you don't know"

"Oh" Mildrith bit her lip, almost like she had forgotten Edlynn was about to marry a stranger "Yes, it makes sense... Anyway, be careful, people will start thinking you're trying to win the queen's favor"

Edlynn glanced to a group of women from the court, who looked at the both of them and whispered.

"I'll go to the queen's tent now" she decided to ignore it "Join me later? We could go to the river and maybe bathe"

Anything to avoid thinking about the battle that was probably going to take place soon.

Mildrith nodded with a smile and waved at her as she approached the tent. The guards bowed their heads respectfully and moved to let her enter. It was much bigger than the tent Edlynn shared with Hilda, and the bed looked much comfortable than the one they had given to her. The bedding was soft and warm, and made her sigh in jealousy as her eyes wandered around the tent.

There was a table with some food and wine on it, and Edlynn's mouth watered as she realized she still hadn't eaten. In front of the bed, there was a table with a cross and a few candles, which was where she supposed both the king and the queen said their prayers.

Edlynn glanced at the entrance to make sure no one entered and quickly grabbed a grape from one of the bronze plates and turned around to savor it. She loved grapes, and the best ones could only be found at the king's table.

But as she glanced down to hide her face in case the queen entered, Edlynn noticed something on the rug that covered the floor of the tent. Frowning, and wondering why there was a dark spot just before her, she bended down to examine it, widening her eyes when she realized it was blood. There wasn't just one spot, but a trail that disappeared behind a curtain, and suddenly she realized something else.

The guards didn't ask who I was before letting me in.

Before Edlynn could even react, someone grabbed her from behind, putting their hands on her mouth to stifle the scream that left her throat. She writhed and fought, but there was two of them, too strong for her. Suddenly, she heard a whisper on a foreign language and then an intense pain on the back of her head as one of the two men hit the back of her head with the handle of his sword before there was only darkness.

________________________________

Ivar was proud. Once again, he ensured a clear victory over the saxons with a flawless plan, and he demonstrated he still was the brilliant strategist everyone admired. Even Harald looked impressed to see that the risky plan to defeat King Alfred's army had been successful. Ivar seemed to read the young king's mind perfectly, and if everything had gone well with the other part of the plan, they'd have a queen waiting for them in the camp that would make things even easier for them. Hvitserk also looked satisfied, having missed the adrenaline of the battlefield and the satisfaction of killing too much. Harald admitted he was wary of those two, with Ivar's sharp mind and Hvitserk's skills in battle, they were nearly unbeatable.

Thanks Odin any of them had given any signs of wanting the crown of Norway Harald had fought so hard to get. But he still didn't trust Ivar completely.

But now they had a common cause, and he hoped that controlling some lands in England would satisfy Ivar's hunger for power.

"So..." Ivar didn't speak until he had finished two horns of ale. The intensity of the battle, standing for so long and walking with the crutches left him exhausted "Do we have a queen or not?"

The men that had just entered the tent, still wearing the saxon's armor, bowed their heads before speaking.

"We do" one of them smiled victoriously "She's unconscious, but guarded, we had to hit her to bring her here"

Hvitserk raised an eyebrow. Ivar had made very clear that he didn't want the queen harmed. Not yet at least, he had said with a chuckle the night before, Alfred won't surrender to our terms if we harm her.

"She's fine, though" the other man glared at his companion "It was just a small blow on the head"

Harald nodded, ignoring the stern glare Ivar sent their way.

"Try and wake her up" the king ordered "We'll talk to her before feasting and resting"

The men bowed again and left. Harald then turned to look at the brothers. In some way, it hurt to see them so close again, reminding him of his own brother, who had also been his most loyal friend. The Ragnarssons didn't have the best relationship, but he noticed they looked much closer since they went back to Kattegat after being with the Rus. He didn't know what had happened there between them, but now he was sure no one could get between them. He envied them for that.

Now they seemed to be having a conversation in silence, with just some stares and grimaces.

"Your plan worked" he said out loud, looking at Ivar. The youngest son of Ragnar shot him a cocky smile.

"Of course it worked, saxons are predictable" he shrugged "And Alfred won't dare to attack us when we have his queen" his eyes shone with pride.

"I wonder if she's pretty" Hvitserk muttered with a dreamy smile as he chewed on a piece of bread. Harald smirked at that, he understood the feeling of coming back from battle and feeling the need to have a woman after filling his belly with warm food and cold drinks. It helped to relax.

Ivar rolled his eyes. He was never as interested in women as his brothers were, and the few times he actually was with women had ended in disaster. So he couldn't understand the obsession.

"She's a christian, so probably not" he shrugged "Anyway, that's the last thing we should worry about"

"There are beautiful christian women out there, little brother" Hvitserk chuckled, amused by his brother's annoyance.

"They're weak" he narrowed his eyes "They are always scared, they don't fight and they don't have the spirit and the courage of viking women"

"How many christian women have you met, Ivar?" Harald laughed.

Ivar frowned. He had had too much contact with christians for his liking.

"Anyway" he scowled, annoyed, as he stood up leaning on his crutch "Let's go, we have a queen to meet".

__________________________________

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @therealcalicali @blushingskywalker @awkwardfangirl02 @gruffle1 @justacripple @love-dria @heartbeats-wildly @letsrunawaytotomorrow @inforapound @sallydelys @hellogabysblog @winchesterwife27 @hecohansen31 @youbloodymadgenius @xinyourdreamsx @funmadnessandbadassvikings @tgrrose @lovessce @tootie-fruity @didiintheblog @alexhandersenx @belovedcherry @fantasydevil2002 @xceafh @astrape-the-weatherwitch @destynelseclipsa @momowhoo @mcrmarvelloki @nanahachikyuu @valopz @mrsalwayswrite @poisonous00 @whenimaunicorn @heavenly1927

#ivar imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar x oc #vikings #vikings imagine #heathen

159 notes · View notes

silversatoru · 3 years

Note

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending!

word count: 2.2k

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have.

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you.

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern.

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge.

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed.

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse.

“That’s an order, cadet”.

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety.

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine. Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself.

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul.

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions.

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something?

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again.

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts.

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face.

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you.

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”.

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?”

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head.

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway.

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?”

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”.

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore.

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words.

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up.

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth.

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again.

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed.

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”.

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear.

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least.

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips.

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”.

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it.

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long.

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress.

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

#attack on titan #attack on titan levi #attack on titan x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x gn!reader #hurt/comfort #angst #levi hurt comfort #attack on titan x gn!reader

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logicalbookthief · 3 years

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Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds.

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.”

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent.

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience?

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife.

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji.

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him.

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration.

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

#bnha #touya todoroki #rei todoroki #bnha meta #bnha analysis #this took way too long because I kept having more thoughts which made it even longer lol #and it actually gave me another idea for a touya & rei meta post but this is already a monster so that'll have to be its own separate post

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showrunnerihardlyknowher · 3 years

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26 for the prompts? perhaps w the cat n mouse lads :3 (also look danny i did it i sent a prompt are u proud)

I...actually don't remember what the prompt was for this one, but I'm 87% sure it was "I'm not that scary, am I?"

So fine since y'all keep asking for 'em, here's more of the cat and mouse bois. Shoutout to @gabbydafurry and an anon for finally giving them names.

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“I’ll make pollo asado for dinner, we can eat it together while we watch!”

Aaron sighed and rubbed his hands against his forehead, trying to ease the dull throb that had yet to wane over the past two days. His headache certainly wasn’t being helped by the constant badgering of his...roommate, for a lack of better words (as well as being a title so eagerly self bestowed by the cat in question) but much like many of their other interactions, his resolve was starting to wear thin. Usually, he was able to hold his ground for at least a week until he was bribed into giving the other some type of social interaction with the promise of his favorite foods. Today, however, the poor mouse just wanted a moment’s peace free from knocking on the walls or calling through the cracks until he answered, and if that meant watching some stupid movie then fine.

Plus, Lucas did know how to make some incredible Mexican food.

“...fine,” Aaron conceded after a pause, the pressure behind his eyes giving him a sharp pang before fading to its usual ache, almost like his own body was projecting how horrible of an idea this was.

As soon as the mouse slipped out from behind the curio, he came face to face with the massive grin of the cat mere inches away from the opening. Seeing the grin only split wider when he was fully in view of the other normally would have instinctively sent a shiver up his spine, it was kind of difficult to be intimidated seeing how Lucas had strangely contorted his body to lay on the floor between the curio and the bookcase. Most cats seemed to be fairly flexible, so it probably wasn’t too uncomfortable for him to be so bent and curled up, but he definitely lost some of that hunter’s prowess with his back twisted sideways and one leg leaning against the shelving.

In a flash, Lucas had managed to untangle his strange positioning to instead be crouched on his knees, now looming over Aaron in a way he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to. He flinched back when his hand started to reach out towards him, fully intending to scoop him up to dizzying heights without a second thought, but the appendage stopped just short of touching him at all. Instead, he dropped his hand palm side up and waited, smiling all the while. At least he was getting better at remembering Aaron’s explicit request to not be grabbed without permission, though he did always apologize with a sheepish look and some little treat whenever he forgot.

Once Aaron climbed onto the awaiting hand that radiated a delightfully intense warmth into his already aching muscles, Lucas was already jumping up a chattering a mile a minute about how much the mouse was going to love the movie he picked out, how dinner would be ready soon, how he wasn’t expecting him to actually agree to watch a scary movie with him since he never seemed like the type who would be into that sort of thing but--

“It’s a scary movie?” Aaron interrupted, the noise finally registering beyond the headache. Truthfully, he tuned a lot of what the other said out for almost every conversation, not that it ever seemed to make a difference. Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit of a chatterbox, he admitted once, but it’s less weird talking to someone who doesn’t respond than to talk to yourself, right?

Debatable.

Lucas tilted his head and snorted. “Uh, yeah? That was one of the first things I told you about. You know that one actress who’s in almost every one of those Christmas movies we watch, who’s always the jealous best friend?” Aaron has no idea who he was referring to given that he never absorbed anything from those stupid romance movies he was boarderline forced to watch, but nodded anyways, “Right, this is supposed to be her big break out role, or something. It’s the first thing she’s doing as a lead actress, and you know, good for her! I’m glad she’s getting out of that typecast she’s been in forever. Horror probably wouldn’t be my first choice for her, but I guess since she has those singing vocals it could carry over to being a scream queen. Kind of like when--”

And Aaron was out of the conversation again.

Lucas continued to drone on about the actress’s entire film career, or at least that’s what the mouse was assuming he was doing when he occasionally zoned back in to pick up a stray word here and there. The headache he had been staving off to the best of his ability was starting to come back with twice as much force as it often did in the later days. He probably could have just asked the other for some aspirin, maybe even some cold medicine as that was no doubt what this bout of illness was turning into, but asking the cat for anything was always out of the question. Of course, Lucas tried to sway him numerous times into thinking it most certainly was not and that he could always ask for whatever he needed, never to his avail. Aaron was indeed willing to prolong his suffering if it meant not having to stomach the dreadful embarrassment that would come to being indebted to the feline, no matter how insignificant.

Unfortunately, he was only setting himself up for failure in thinking this “agreement” would be providing him any sort of relief. His headache was treading dangerously close into becoming a full fledged migraine and the flashes of light and screams from the television would not be doing him any favors. His only saving grace was that, after he had been settled on the couch and Lucas scampered off to get the dinner he promised, the cat turned off every other light possible to, as he put it, really get them in the spooky mood!

The smell of the food was delicious and nauseating. His stomach both wanted and revolted at the idea of anything filling it, which would only serve to worsen his headache no doubt. Damn it all, he wanted to throttle both himself and this illness, the first for agreeing to watch this stupid movie when he was already feeling under the weather, the second for preventing him from getting his half of the deal. These movie-dinner dates deals were the only reason Aaron continued to stick around, even if he thought the torment of being forced to watch awful romcoms in exchange for a hot, homemade meal was a little unfair. No, that wasn’t entirely true, Lucas was a freaking culinary genius as far as the mouse was aware. It was a wonder why he wasn’t majoring in a cooking field.

“I’m not hungry right now,” Aaron lied when Lucas had asked why he wasn’t eating. “I’ll try some later.”

The cat looked at him strangely before shrugging. “Alright, just let me know. If you don’t like it, I can always make you something else.” There he goes again, offering things he knows the other can’t accept. At least he could let it slide this time as he had no appetite to think of any other dish.

Lucas finished his own meal in silence, completely fixed on the television as the opening scene carried on, introducing the canine main character that Aaron did, in fact, vaguely recognize. This was fine, he figured, the dark apartment coupled with a painfully slow movie, a warm body moving to curl up behind him as it so often did during these deals, he could probably get a few moments of real rest in before the credits rolled. As much as he loathed to admit it, the cat was actually rather...comfortable to be forcefully cuddled by. He wasn’t like other movie goers that needed to make a comment on every character’s decision, steady breathing and the occasional purr helping the mouse slowly relax.

That relaxation was cut short as soon as the romcom actress tore her tiny avian neighbor to shreds by the end of the first act.

Aaron had hardly been paying attention to the storyline up until this point, something to do with the girl being bitten and experiencing insatiable hunger lately. The sudden carnage of the otherwise trusting little prey creature made both of them flinch in surprise, though Lucas was quick to laugh it off. From then on the mouse’s unwavering attention was glued to the screen, but not by his choice. A chill ran through him each time she claimed another unsuspecting victim, always a prey animal, and ripped them apart with her teeth and nails like a starving animal. The way the tiny’s incredibly realistic viscera was slurped into her bloody mouth made him queasy, all too easily imagining himself in their shoes.

Eventually, her hunger became too strong and she began attacking fellow predator species as well. Ripping into throats and soft bellies was far messier than snacking on a tiny creature in three bites, making her feast all the more gory. While the violence still unsettled him, it was a touch more bearable now that he couldn’t picture his own body being mangled between the teeth of a predator he thought he could trust. Speaking of…

The mouse gulped and risked a glance behind him at the other who had hardly moved, save for a few jolts and snickers whenever a particularly good jump scare managed to startle him. It didn’t go unnoticed that every time Aaron had physically reacted to a sudden screech or attack, the cat would curl just a little bit tighter around him, hiding a laugh behind a rumbling purr. He wanted to believe this was meant to be an act of comfort and not something equally as nefarious as the canine plotting her next kill. Regardless, Lucas was equally transfixed on the movie, except he seemed to be enjoying every minute of the horror aspect. His tail would flick in interest during the high tension scenes, even more so when a chase sequence was underway. It made sense, considering that was his favorite game to make Aaron play.

Whatever the case may be, the mouse couldn’t help but be unnerved tenfold that the other had the audacity to enjoy a fictional movie he was interested in seeing. The last thing the mouse wanted was for Lucas to get any more ideas when it came to chasing him around the apartment, much less awaken any sort of primitive instinct to maim his prize after it had been captured. To this day, it remains a deep seated fear in the back of his mind that every time the cat cupped his hands over him, his teeth would be quick to follow. Natural instincts were hard to shake for a reason when it came to prey animals such as himself, he could only hope the same wasn’t true for predators.

His imagination was running rampant, enough so that he completely missed how the movie ended. Something about a cure, something about being put down, whatever. The only thing on his mind was the morbidly hilarious thought that if Lucas were to go feral like the canine, would he eat him raw or would he cook him up in another fantastic dish?

Aaron jumped when Lucas moved to sit up behind him, only now registering the credits scrolling across the screen. He stretched a bit, the quickly fading warmth that had been surrounding the mouse making him realize just how tight the other must have been snuggled around him. How did he not notice?

“Wow,” Lucas said, pursing his lips. “That...was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.”

That wasn’t the reaction Aaron had been expecting him to have, but it was certainly better than to hear him go on about how it was a brilliant masterpiece. He got up to flick the lights back on, still laughing as he recounted each poorly written scene and cheesy effects. “I mean, oh my god, right? The mail man saved everyone? Seriously? I actually feel bad for making you watch that, you totally have dibs on the next movie night.”

He turned around to look at the mouse who was still huddled tight on the couch, wide eyes glued to the screen even if it was just names moving along with ominous background music. Lucas gave him another quizzical look, smirking.

“C’mon, even you have to admit those tinies had zero survival instincts. Like, who goes up to a rabid dog and asks for directions? I get suspending my disbelief and all, but they could have made it just a pinch realistic. This is so going to tank her acting career…” The cat shook his head and moved closer to the couch so that he stood right in front of the television, finally drawing the other’s attention to himself. “Hey, you hungry now?”

Oh, absolutely fucking not. An hour and a half of being tensed up gave no relief to his aching muscles and now that the lights were back on, so was his pounding headache. His stomach rolled, the nausea a mix of dizziness and disgust from the special effects. He didn’t even want to think about food, he didn’t want to be out in the open anymore, and he most certainly did not want to spend another minute in the cat’s company right now.

“S-sure…” Aaron finally squeaked out. He just needed Lucas out of the room, distracted somewhere so he could make a break for it. In some instances, he would have just darted off whether the cat saw him or not, but that always resulted in a game of chase that had a 50/50 success rate, the other loving it anyways. All he wanted was some peace and quiet to rest up and heal and not think about how easy it would be for the other to bite off his head whenever he felt like it.

Lucas stood there for a minute, studying him, and just when Aaron genuinely feared he was going to pounce, he flashed an innocent smile. “Cool, just give me a couple minutes to get it heated up.” And with that, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Aaron decided to be bold and waste a few precious seconds of his head start to collect himself. Deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous. Lucas had been nothing but kind to him. Aloof, but still kind all the same. But as a prey animal that spent the better part of his life living in walls and stealing to survive, trust was a risk he simply couldn’t take. There was hardly any benefit to keeping up this con if the end goal was simply to eat him. For all he knew, though, Lucas was nothing more than a merciless sociopath that was willing to milk every ounce of fear he could before chowing down. A sociopath obsessed with romantic comedies and wore an apron when he cooked and had begged Aaron for two months straight to tell him when his birthday was so that he could make him a miniature cake.

...okay, so maybe Lucas wasn’t a sociopath, but that didn’t mean he was trustworthy. Evolution gave him sharpened fangs and agile reflexes for a reason and the mouse was not about to find out what it was like to be on the receiving end of those one day.

With his head as clear as it was going to be for the time being, sans the dull throb behind his eyes, the mouse finally pushed himself up to make his way over to the couch arm. Slowly, as to not overwork his stiff joints, he climbed his way down to the floor and skittered under the couch for a little extra protection. Strangely, he noticed that he didn’t hear any noises coming from the kitchen just up ahead and when he stopped by the doorway, he couldn’t see anyone either. Losing track of the massive cat should not be possible, especially considering this was a one bedroom apartment and there was literally nowhere else for the feline to go without coming back through the entryway. Aaron should have taken it as a blessing, but of course he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He proceeded to be daring and come out from under the couch completely to peek into the kitchen, confirming it was empty. Again, that shouldn’t even be possible for Lucas to slip out without having to directly pass the living room to go somewhere else. Unless he had, which would mean Aaron missed him somehow. He had been in quite a deep thought process on the couch...but he could have sworn he was only collecting himself for a minute!

The answer became glaringly obvious when the mouse took a few hesitant steps back and turned to retreat under the safety of the couch, only to come face to face with Lucas. He damn near jumped out of his skin, slamming his back against the wall in an effort to gain another inch of distance between himself and the face taking up his entire view. Really, this was nothing too out of the ordinary for the cat, he loved to sneak up and pounce whenever the opportunity presented itself and Aaron wasn’t too obviously close to heart failure. What made his heart stutter, however, was the fact that Lucas didn’t look like...well, Lucas. There was no smile, no warm eyes, no words being talked a mile a minute about nothing.

No, there was just a frowning cat with his ears pinned back and pupils slit, stalking closer with a terrifying rumble in his throat.

Instinct overtook him as soon as he saw the other’s lip twitch, trying to dart under the couch for safety and having his path immediately blocked by a hand being slammed down, claw out. Aaron couldn’t even yelp, the bile in his throat threatening to turn into vomit if he idled around too long. So, he didn’t. Instead, he turned on his heel and scampered in the opposite direction with the cat hot on his trail. He very nearly dodged a swipe, Lucas hissing that his blow didn’t land while Aaron only tried to speed up his sprinting. They circled maybe half of the living room, the mouse weaving under furniture while the cat knocked into them in an effort to jarr his prey into taking a misstep.

It worked, unfortunately, when Aaron took a sharp turn at the bookshelf and caused Lucas to clip it with his shoulder. The small bump did nothing to deter the cat on his hunt, but the two books that came tumbling down were enough to make the smaller skid and trip to avoid being squashed under the novels. He ended up twisting his ankle awkwardly, stumbling flat on his face while the momentum of his running made him roll twice until he landed on his back. Despite being winded and the additional pain in his leg, he knew there was no time to waste, trying to pull himself. It was too late, though. The cat was already on top of him, hand coming down to pin him under his palm while only his head poked free from between his fingers.

That cold, terrifying face came nearer, eyes tunnel visioned on its prize. Oh God, Aaron would give anything to have the other Lucas back right now. He’d watch a thousand sappy movies, do a date night for every meal, actually move into his bedroom like the cat had suggested he do a dozen times. He wanted...fuck, he wanted his friend back. What he thought was his friend, anyways. Not this killer, not this predator who was baring his teeth and was now mere inches away from biting off his face and--

The growling above him broke off into a snort shortly before turning into a full blown laugh. Aaron wasn’t sure when he had closed his eyes in preparation for his certain death, but when he dared to open them and blinked away the budding tears, he saw that smile he had been wishing for again. Kind and warm, just like eyes, and it was like Lucas had never even taken the form of a starving hunter in his life. Like he hadn’t been moments away from devouring his beloved roommate.

“Oh, come on,” he howled with laughter, “You can’t be serious! That movie actually scared you? I mean, I thought you looked a little freaked out by it, but wow!”

The movie...so this...this wasn’t real. Lucas was just pretending, just playing a prank on him. He thought that the movie had simply wound him up and made him jumpier than usual, no different than watching a zombie flick and popping out from behind a bush at your friend later on.

Except it was different. It was different in the fact that zombies aren't real, but predators are. Predators didn’t need an excuse to go feral and maim and consume their tiny cohabitants, they simply could by the laws of nature. And yes, it may be illegal and have several laws in place to protect prey species, but if no body was ever left behind, who could say if foul play was involved? That was the whole plot point in the otherwise dull movie they sat through together, the reason why the woman was able to avoid suspicion of her sickness by feeding on tinies that could only be reported missing at most.

Lucas’s laughter had tapered off, still clearly enjoying himself. “Alright, note to self, no more horror movies.” Finally, he released Aaron from under his hand to sit back on his haunches. “Man, I really didn’t think you would scare that easily, especially from a B-movie like that. Anyways, are you actually ready to eat now? I put your stuff in the oven so it would reheat better, but it should be done by now….Ronnie?”

Aaron hadn’t moved an inch since he was originally pinned, not even after the hand had been lifted off of him. He just stared up blankly at the cat, trembling and wide eyed, unable to do anything as the rapid succession of events sunk in. The cat’s humor died down a little, smile hesitating.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist, you know?” He shrugged a little sheepishly. “You didn’t even notice when I came back so I thought...I don’t know, it was funnier in my head. I almost broke character and started laughing before you ran!” With still no verbal response, Lucas reached out a hand. “Aaron? You good? Come on, I’m not that scary, am I?”

The reaction he got probably wasn’t what he was hoping for with Aaron suddenly scrambling to push himself away from the outstretched hand that might trap and tear apart his limbs. He gave a sharp squeak, managing to find his footing only to come crashing down as soon as he took the first step, his ankle noticeably swollen by this point. His cry of pain was muffled into a desperate grunt, trying so hard to drag himself away as a last ditch effort to avoid the same fate as the bird and the squirrel and the mole in the movie.

Lucas gasped. “Oh, Ronnie, your leg!” Both hands were reaching for the mouse now, aiming to cup around him and scoop him up before they surely put him out of his misery. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t...oh my God, I hurt you.”

Yes and no. In truth, Aaron had been the one to hurt himself by making his body move in ways it physically shouldn’t. But that didn’t change the fact that Lucas had shown his true colors. Perhaps in hindsight, that wasn’t a fair assessment, as he really did think he was playing a harmless little joke on a skittish friend. The pain came from knowing that the cat could turn feral, though, no matter how genuine he was being. There was still clearly an instinct within him, one that knew how to hunt and bare his teeth and hiss, one that knew deep down where they both ranked on the food chain. It hurt in knowing everything he thought about his friend, everything that kept him from really letting down his walls like the other so desperately wanted, was right. Cats and mice were not friends.

“Get away from me!” Aaron shrieked when the hands came too close. Though they withdrew quickly, he didn’t bother to watch if they would move again as he forced himself up to stumble back to his nook behind the bookshelf.

“Aaron, wait!” It was a fruitless request and Lucas knew it as he didn’t even try to stop the mouse from disappearing behind the furniture back into the walls. It would only make matters so much worse. “Aaron, please, you’re hurt, just...at least let me help you. Please. I...I’m so sorry! It was an accident, I promise!”

The cat shuffled closer, leaning down in hopes that the other could at least hear his pleas better, could hear how sincere he was trying to be. “I would never hurt you, Aaron. You’re one of my best friends. Look, it was a stupid prank and I’m an asshole and I’ll never do it again, just please come out. Just let me know if you’re alright?”

It didn’t matter how hard or for how long he tried, Aaron was long gone within the walls.

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twilightsdumbbutiwannaknowmore · 2 years

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With the announcement of HBO buying the rights to one of my absolute favourite TV shows and the further announcement of it getting a reboot next year, I have decided to do a mashup post.

SO , I want to give my thoughts on Twilight Characters and their Degrassi counterparts. Please feel free to tell me if you disagree or agree or have anything to add.

Bella:

Clare Edwards. Clare is a character that is shown time and time again to be passionate about her interests (journalism and writing) and is loyal to her friends when they are in need. She also is seen by some of her friends to have a strong affect on boys (queue ‘I will never understand the affect Clare Edwards has on Men’) like How Bella shows up and miraculously all the men are attracted to her. She finds herself caught in multiple love stories where she learns to stick up for herself and must make decisions about what she truly wants.

Edward:

Craig Manning. Craig shows up and instantly has girls frothing at the mouth for him. He’s dramatic and broody and doesn’t really give up when it comes to finding what he wants. He is talented with Music similar to Edward and also like Edward will often come off as very intense when expressing his feelings towards others. He also leaves his girlfriend at the time (Manny) at the drop of a hat just like Edward does to Bella in New Moon.

Jacob :

Zig Novak. He goes after the same girl many times, and most of the times he decides to make a move is while shes in a relationship, thus creating romantic tension and a love triangle. He is also a lot of muscle and uses his knowledge of the world around him to protect himself and others on many occasions, such as Jake using his knowledge of the Wolves and the forest.

Alice:

Imogen Moreno. She knows who she wants to be friends with and knows what she has to do to become close to them. Often she will drop into conversations randomly with cryptic messages. She also has a very eclectic fashion sense. All of these are pretty much identical to Alice IMO.

Jasper :

Sean Cameron, He has a dark past that he isn’t proud of and often will have time controlling his anger, but all in all he wants to be better and often will lean on his significant other to see what he should be doing morally.

Emmett :

Spinner Mason, The epitome of a himbo, just as Emmett is. Sure in the beginning of the series Spinner was often problematic, but he wanted to learn and once he did he became a reliable source of support for all his friends. He is also super tough and does ‘whatever it takes’ to look after people on many occasions.

Rosalie:

Paige Michalchuk. Paige is queen B at Degrassi for many years. She is gorgeous and confident while still wanting to be there for those she cares about. Much like Rosalie, Paige has also had an unfortunate history with men and it gave her a fire to fight back and look out for others in the future.

Carlisle:

Marco Del Rossi. Marco is the dad friend. He is super smart and wants to put his skills to good uses such as running a blood drive for the school. He always looks out for others (except in a few random episodes) and does his best to make sure that his friends voices are heard.

Esme :

Holly J Sinclair. I’ll be honest it took me a while to think of who matched Esme and the best I could come to was Holly J in her later seasons. In the beginning holly J is definitely nt kind or caring, but I feel that these parts of herself come out more in her later seasons, especially in the Fiona storylines where she is so caring and helpful in trying to help Fiona with working out her sexuality.

Charlie :

Principal Archie Simpson. He is an absolute angel that is not getting paid enough for the amount he has to deal with from these kids. He constantly has to try and hand out advice to children that often aren’t listening and will stand there dumbfounded while still being supportive of their decisions.

Seth :

Adam Torres. Adam is the best, he is the best boy and I love him. When Adam is on screen I have the same fun filled reaction to when I see Seth. Adam is young but he just wants to fit in with his friends and be able to do all the cool things that his brother does even if it gets him into trouble. He wants everyone to get along while still making sure to stand up for himself.

Leah :

Many Santos, She is a bad-ss. Manny has had a few failed romances but she never lets it hold her back, she uses that as a fire to go and get what she wants get it while scaring you half to death.

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robinofgothamcity · 3 years

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"now we're stopping the world, stopped it in its tracks. nothing's too broken to find our way back so before it's over, before you run...didn't we have fun?"

♡ pairing: ilja dragunov x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'm so happy ilja won tonight but that doesn't mean that i'm not heartbroken over walter finally losing. anyway, here's a small blurb for all you ilja stans.

"your ex has his big match tonight, you excited to probably see him lose again?" Indi asked jokingly. you rolled your eyes, not wanting to joke about a match you were nervous to watch. "I know tonight for him is a big deal so I don't really want to jinx him or for that matter, Walter," you replied, taking a sip of water.

Indi sighed sensing the excuses rolling off your tongue. you were tapping away nervously on your laptop and you filled out last minute paperwork for the pay-per-view event. she noticed every time you had your nose deep into your laptop it was for one of two reasons. you actually had to get work done or you were so nervous about something that you consumed your life with work until whatever it was that was making you nervous passed.

"what has you so glued to your laptop? I thought all NXT work was finished yesterday?" you shook your head, not responding as you continued to, "Regal wanted me to respond to a few emails for the taping on Tuesday. where's Dexter? I'm surprised the engaged couple isn't together right now," you poked, making Indi smack you on the back of the head.

the entire building was buzzing from excitement. you heard makeup and costume screaming at each other about finishing their clients so the other could get started. wrestlers walked back and forth through catering, chugging back water and standing by the curtains to eat while they watched whatever match was going on.

"look, Walter's over there," Indi whispered. you looked behind you, seeing Walter along with his two henchmen walking to an empty table. you could sense Walter's energy the minute he walked through the door. it was like the biggest unkept secret that Walter carried this energy that just scared anyone who dared to provoke him. "man, Ilja's going to get it rough, regardless if he wins tonight or not," you whispered to Indi as she agreed.

you and Indi remained talking to each other as you watched Dakota's match against Raquel. you were on the writing team for their storyline so you kind of had to pay attention to the match to see where it went after it ended. you managed to be so engrossed into it that you hadn't heard Indi calling your name for a good minute until she finally shook you.

"they want you in makeup and costume, something about Regal wanting you," Indi said. you nodded, closing your laptop and shoving everything int your bag, "I'll be back," you murmured. Indi laughed knowing you weren't exactly coming back anytime soon.

you walked as quickly as possible, not realizing that Regal had no business in makeup and costume but since your mind was so plagued with the thoughts of Ilja's match, you hadn't put two and two together.

once you arrived to makeup and costume, you saw Ilja sitting on one of the chairs as one of the makeup artist apologized profusely to you, "this was all Indi's idea. I swear she was the one who put me to this," she confessed as she walked out of the makeup stall, leaving you with Ilja, the air becoming thick.

"I know this isn't all of Indi's doing so what do you want?"

Ilja and you stared at each other, minds racing as the two of you heaved in anger, "I'm not staying on the UK brand, Lacey and I got offered a better deal as a tag team on the main NXT roster and I'm not just letting that go," you repeated to Ilja as he tried to grab your hand again. you quickly shook it off knowing that all he was going to do was try and convince you to stay again.

"why are you so against me going?" you asked again. this time, Ilja stood up, looking into your eye with so much intensity, "if you leave, I won't ever see you again. I won't leave the UK brand and you look like you're dead set on leaving it," you huffed knowing what Ilja was saying was true.

the offer NXT had for you in Florida seemed hell of a lot better than what the UK brand was offering you at the moment and teaming as a tag with Lacey didn't sound as bad as what you were currently doing. you grabbed Ilja's hand and rubbed it softly, "this might be the end for us but it's not all bad. you have a chance at the belt here while I try to go do the same thing just in Florida. maybe this isn't the end, just a see you later?" you asked knowing Ilja was trying to hold in his tears.

you knew Ilja was the kind of man who didn't hold back his emotions. he cried when he felt the tears coming but today he tried as hard as he could to hold it together, "we'll be together again, I promise," you whispered to him.

you felt your leg pulsing as you tried to calm your thoughts down. you had taken a nasty fall down during a match and you knew it was your ankle that had taken the hit or your achilles. a part of you was begging that it was your ankle but in the back of your mind, you knew it was your achilles and an achilles injury usually meant a prolonged healing process.

the medics tried to find the source of your injury but there wasn't much you could do while in the area. it didn't take long for them to wheel you into an ambulance and rush you over to the hospital to actually check out what was wrong. the entire time throughout the ride and waiting on your results, you kept getting a multitude of texts from everyone wondering what happened.

you heard a knock on the door and whispered a 'come in'. the doctor walked in with a pile of paperwork and wary smile. "what's the damage?" you asked, quickly cutting to the chase. he handed you the paperwork and while you could understand somethings, a lot of it was confusing.

"your achilles, it took most of the damage and it's an injury that you won't be coming back from."

your heart stopped hearing the news. you knew an achilles injury was pretty nasty but you never thought it would be the reason why your career ended. the doctor could see your face drop in complete sadness as you tried to hold back sobs. he knew it was best to not continue as you hid your face into your hands. no one thought that a random Tuesday night match would be your last.

Ilja sat on his bed, scrolling through his feed on Twitter when he heard the tweet from your account.

it was a photo of you holding the NXT UK Women's belt close to your heart. his heart sunk as he read the caption.

"didn't we have fun? don't say it was all a waste."

he quickly scrolled through your account to quickly come across the official WWE account. they had made an announcement that you were no longer available to wrestle due to your injury and Ilja knew more than anyone how hurt you must've been. you had moved your entire wrestling career to Florida in order to pursue the women's belt there and now, all of that was gone.

a part of him wanted to text you to make sure you were okay but he knew better than to do that. the two of you hadn't spoken since the breakup and texting you could bring back memories he was sure you didn't want back. a lot of your career was defined as a inter-gender tag team with him and that was how the two of you got signed together.

Ilja bit his tongue back and decided against texting you.

you watched the match from the monitors in the back. Ilja had said nothing to you when you asked what he wanted but he brought you in for a searing kiss. you were promptly taken back by his action but you let it happen, missing the way his arms hugged you and the way his intense eyes stared down at you.

Indi stood next to you as she saw you tapping against the table nervously. she knew you'd probably kill her later for making you reunite with Ilja but she knew better than anyone that the two of you belonged together. just like her and Dexter, you and Ilja needed to remain with each other. there was even a few wrestlers on the roster she had to scare away in order for her plan to work.

you saw the way Ilja's chest was turning red as Walter continued to chop at it, making it bleed and creating small cuts here and there. Indi stood next to you as she watched Ilja put Walter in a very easy chokehold. it wasn't one that seemed that Walter would falter too but it happened in an instant, Ilja had him wrapped so tightly that it seemed Walter was about to pass out.

"holy shit."

Walter was quickly tapping himself out of Ilja's grasp as the bell rang. Indi turned over to you to see the way you dropped your bag and without thinking, ran out of the curtains and onto the ramp. a few of the producers called your name to return but you were too far out to hear what they were saying.

the crowd was going wild to see you practically sprinting down the ramp. Ilja hadn't realized what was going on but you snatched the belt away from the ref and stood in front of him, holding it up high as Ilja tried to process what was going on. "you won, Ilja! you finally did it!" you yelled, shaking the belt in front of him.

Ilja's breath hitched as he grabbed the belt and held it tightly for a moment before putting his leg on top of Walter's chest, "you did it," you whispered to him. Ilja screamed in victory as you grabbed his hand and made him hold the belt higher to show the crowd that he had in fact dethroned Walter after 800+ days

you had no idea what this meant for you and Ilja going forward but you had the inkling feeling that somehow, someway, Ilja had crawled his way back into your life. not that you were complaining of course.

#wwe x reader #wwe imagine #wwe #nxt uk imagine #nxt #nxt uk #nxt imagine #ilja dragunov #ilja dragunov imagine #ilja dragunov x reader #fics #wrestling imagine #wrestling fic

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sylvies-chen · 2 years

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•SPOILERS FOR PD•

first off, lemme preface this by saying I think this episode overall was really well done! however, I have a few thoughts:

as much as I like Chicago PD, this whole episode and the fact that Marina and Paddy both essentially said in the interview that was just released that Kim and Adam were in no way thinking it was Roy who took Makayla, both add up to become very disappointing to me. we have had no followup on the fact that Kim still doesn’t know Roy’s dead and we never will. that storyline was handled poorly— so much so that they didn’t even think to bring it up when bringing this storyline with makayla’s kidnapping in. and before, they couldn’t even focus a storyline about a cop abduction onto the actual victim. (hailey stans, this is not me attacking hailey. my anger is at the writers.) mainly I chalk this up to poor writing/continuity but also to the fact that this show is copaganda. obviously I enjoy the show, I think the acting is great and the storylines are compelling, but many of the big ones are executed all wrong and to me, the Roy Walton storyline was one of them. I’ve sort of just made my peace with that, but it still ties into this episode.

so this episode. this episode we had Makayla being taken and Burzek tensions coming to the light. I found both of these things to be very interesting, and very intense (seriously, I was on the edge of my seat!!) and that last scene was ambiguous but foreshadowing a bit of a divide between Adam and Kim as Adam feels like he failed Kim and Makayla by reacting so emotionally and impulsively. which he kind of did. Burzek is far from over though, I’m still absolutely positive this is something they can work through. but I find myself sitting here, wondering why they even need to. obviously makayla getting kidnapped is a very traumatic thing and the thought of losing their daughter undoubtedly brought out the worst sides of them, but there was perfectly good drama to be found in that big, dark secret that Kim still isn’t aware of. It was a missed opportunity that felt very obvious to me, like the episode was missing that extra layer. I find that’s a common mistake with most TV writers anyway: they always add more for drama’s sake rather than working with the nuance they have. I find, though, that especially when the PD writers set something up and the logical trajectory would be to hit bullseye in terms of plot and dramatic follow-through, they end up hitting the target just a little too far to the left or right. it’s still close to bullseye, just not quite.

I’m exicted to see this journey Burzek is going on and I hope they find a way to repair any tensions as a romantic couple and the three of them as a family, and recognize that they are not the people they are on their worst days. but I’m sad that they keep putting Kim and Makayla and Adam through the ringer and not following up on it in the long run. to be fair, the writers do that with all of the characters so hey, at least they don’t discriminate. but I’m hoping that soon, somewhere down the line, they’ll be focusing more on continuity rather than traumatizing a seven year old girl and her adoptive parents.

#one chicago spoilers #kim burgess #adam ruzek #chicago pd spoilers

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loonatism · 3 years

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WHAT IS THE LOONAVERSE? PART 2 – THE NARRATIVE DEVICES

LOONA is special among K-pop for its immersive storyline. These girls are not just k-pop idols performing a song, they also perform a story and that story is what we call the Loonaverse.

So, what is the Loonaverse? In a few words: The world and story that LOONA inhabits.

Yeah. Duh. But what is it?

Well… it’s complicated.

The Loonaverse is a fictitious story that borrows elements from real science and fantasy to build its world but also uses allegories, metaphors, allusions and other literary devices to tell its story. Our job as spectators (and specifically us theorizers) is to look beyond those devices to understand the message they are trying to send. In this post I’ll attempt to explain the numerous literary devices used to narrate the story of the Loonaverse.

So, these 2 things are LAW:

Each girl has two conflicts: an external one and an internal one.

The LOONAVERSE story is one of fantasy and mystery.

INTERNAL CONFLICT VS EXTRNAL CONFLICT

Or as I like to call it: UNIT vs SOLO

I’ve explained how the girls are trapped in a time loop and how escaping it was their overarching goal. This is the external conflict of the Loonaverse. The progression of this storyline is seen mainly in the Sub-Unit MVs and LOONA MVs but also in some teasers and other videos like Cinema Theory. The conflict is external because: 1) It comes from the outside. 2) The characters not have power against it, at least not at the beginning. 3) The conflict has effect over multiple people.

Also…

Every character has an internal conflict. A personal story. Each girl perceives the world differently and that changes the way they act and interact with each other. It is internal because: 1) It comes from within the person. 2) They themselves may be the cause for the conflict. 3) The conflict has effect on only one person: themselves. This Internal conflict is presented to us in the Solo MVs. Every solo MV is a window to the character’s mind. While the solo MVs are tangentially related to the main external conflict, they mostly focus on the internal conflict of the character.

External and Internal conflicts often mix and interlace each other to create a wider story. We will see how the external conflict fuels the internal conflicts of the girls and how their internal conflicts will shape the way they act towards solving the external conflict.

FANTASY AND MYSTERY

What is fantasy? The genre of fantasy is described as a story based in a world completely separate from our own. It usually features elements or magical/supernatural forces that do not exist on our own world. It is not tied to reality of science.

Wait a minute. You just spent an entire post explaining the science of the Loonaverse. You can’t call it fantasy now. Well yes, yes I can. Since most of the scientific elements I explained are theoretical, unproved in our world but in the world of LOONA they are a reality, a scientific reality. A reality that differs from our own, and thus a fantasy to us. But regardless of that the reason I call the Loonaverse a fantasy is because of the themes it explores.

Fantasy is a broad genre, it is one of the oldest literary genres, being found in old myths. Some of the themes often found in fantasy stories include: tradition vs. change, the individual vs. society, man vs. nature, coming of age, betrayal, epic journeys, etc. All of these themes are very present in the Loonaverse. But I’ll delve into each one as we encounter them.

What is Mystery? The mystery genre is a type of fiction in which a person (usually a detective) solves a crime. The purpose is to solve a puzzle and to create a feeling of resolution with the audience. Some elements of a mystery include: the Crime that needs solving, the use of suspense, use of figures of speech, the detective having inference gaps, the suspects motives are examined in the story, the characters usually get in danger while investigating, plus these:

Red herring. something that misleads or distracts from a relevant or important question and leads the audience to a false answer.

Suspense. Intense feeling that an audience goes through while waiting for the outcome of certain events.

Foreshadowing. A literary device that hints at information that will become relevant later on.

I just though you should know these definitions.

In the Loonaverse, the “crime” is the time loop itself, and the mystery is finding a way to break it. Or so we think. In reality, the “How do we break the loop?” question is solved rather easily. But can we really call this a mystery if the main question is already answered? Yes! It may no be a mystery story for the characters themselves but because BlockBerry uses various mystery genre tropes while telling the story, it is a mystery TO THE AUDIENCE.

That’s right! WE are the detectives!

In a classical mystery, the detective examines all clues, motives, and possible alibis, for each suspect, or in our case, each character. The same way we analyze every MV, every interaction, every possible clue to where and when everything is happening.

The Loonaverse differs from a classic ‘Who done it?’ by establishing that no suspect is actually guilty. The crime IS the loop, but no girl is responsible for it (or so we think). Our job as detectives is not to figure out who is doing this but to explain how and establish an timeline of events that shed a light to what really happened. In that sense, our job resembles more closely a real crime investigation than a mystery novel.

LITERARY DEVICES

There are many literary devices an author can use to tell its story. Too many to cover them all in here, so I’ll focus on the most recurrent ones in the Loonaverse:

Allusion. Referring to a subject matter such as a place, event, or literary work by way of a passing reference.

Archetype. Reference to a concept, a person or an object that has served as a prototype of its kind and is the original idea that has come to be used over and over again.

Faulty Parallelism. the practice placing together similarly structure related phrases, words or clauses but where one fails to follow this parallel structure.

Juxtaposition. The author places a person, concept, place, idea or theme parallel to another

Metaphor. A meaning or identity ascribed to one subject by way of another. One subject is implied to be another so as to draw a comparison between their similarities and shared traits.

Motif. Any element, subject, idea or concept that is constantly present through the entire body of literature.

Symbol. Using an object or action that means something more than its literal meaning, they contain several layers of meaning, often concealed at first sight.

Genre. Classification of a literary work by its form, content, and style.

Some other literary devices worthy of your private investigation are: Negative Capability, Point of View, Doppelgänger, Flashback, Caesura, Stream of Consciousness, Periodic Structure, THEME, Analogy.

About Genre:

Genres are important because they give a story structure. They help an author tell the story in a way that makes it simple for the audience to understand what kind of story is being told. The classic genres of literature are Poetry, Drama and Prose. Some scholars include Fiction and Non-fiction.

In film there are a variety of accepted genres: Comedy, Tragedy, Horror, Action, Fantasy, Drama, Historical, etc. Plus a bunch of subgenres like Contemporary Fantasy, Spy Film, Slapstick Comedy, Psychological Thriller, etc. What defines a genre is the use of similar techniques and tropes like color, editing, themes, character archetypes, etc.

I point this out because the Loonaverse uses many genres to tell its story. Sure, the main story is a fantasy/mystery but every MV or Teaser has its own genre (especially the solo MVs). So, when I point out later that Kiss Later is a romantic comedy or that One & Only is a gothic melodrama, this is what I mean.

TLDR:

The Loonaverse is the world and story that LOONA inhabits. It borrows form real life science and fantasy elements to better tell its story. Each girl has an external conflict (escaping the loop) and an internal conflict (portrayed in the solo MVs). Both conflicts interlace to tell the story. The Loonaverse is a story of Fantasy because it takes place in a different world from ours and it is a Mystery because it is told using various mystery tropes. The story uses multiple literary and visual devices to tell it’s story and fuel the mystery.

REMEMBER: This is all my interpretation. My way of comprehending and analyzing the story. You don’t have to agree with everything. I encourage you to form your own theories. Remember: every theory is correct.

After all that you may be wondering what the story even is. And we’ll finally be getting to that. While I have my own interpretation of the timeline, themes and who did what. I think it’s more fun to slowly explore every brick instead of just summarizing it in one (incredibly long) post. I’ll do that much, much, much later. The journey will be just as interesting as the destination. I hope you’re in for the ride.

Let’s get to the real deal: The MVs. I’m going in chronological order so let’s start with girl No. 1!

Next: The bright pink bunny of LOONA: HeeJin’s ViViD.

#yeah i know its been months #life's tough kids give me a break #loona #loonaverse #loona theory #loonatism #heejin #hyunjin #haseul #yeojin #vivi #kim lip #jinsoul #choerry #yves #chuu #go won #olivia hye

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atlasmisery · 3 years

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brother nier in relation to the events of the aerie and junkheap

(as of writing, i have not completed the entirety of nier: replicant. where i am at now is around the beginning-middle end of the storyline before the first ending.)

brother nier is an interesting protagonist so far, and shows signs of the classic tragic hero. in a well-meaning attempt to accomplish a good-natured goal (to cure his sister’s illness), he ends up walking a much bloodier and darker path than he intended. nier’s ‘timeskip’ very much emphasizes this, showing us nier in his purer days as a youth as opposed to his currently revenge-addled and unstable self.

the thing is with nier is that, while he’s certainly a kind-hearted person who helps those in need, everyone is all but secondary to the ‘few people he loves most’. this, of course, is obviously yonah, but this also extends to kaine, weiss and emil. he fixates on these people, and in certain points in the story, faces little hesitation in regards to sacrificing other people for them. it’s an incredibly interesting contradiction in his demeanor... but the consequences of sort of thing requires intense writing to be able to portray ‘properly’ and ‘gut-wrenchingly’.

of course, leave it up to no other than yoko taro to be able to portray nier’s contradiction wonderfully. there are two instances in the story that highlight this.

the fall of the aerie:

here, nier’s ‘fixation’ on saving ‘the few people he loves’ becomes very, very apparent. in this point of the story, he, in his quest to defeat shades, basically obliterates an entire village of people.

the aerie, in the story, was not very welcoming or ‘loveable’ of an area as opposed to the others. it’s loss, while not heavy on the heart, still makes an impact. it was the village with the most tightly-knit ‘character’, i feel. facade, seafront and nier’s village all have varieties of people, but aerie was the one with the incredibly rude shut-ins. and this was consistent between all the villagers. as frustrating as they were, it’s not like they deserved to die... is probably the thought that comes to mind.

now, as for nier himself:

Emil: I killed innocent people. I killed them all. Nier: But you saved us.

the scene at the end of the aerie’s fall tells it all. emil, heartbroken, and maybe the audience perspective, is mourning the loss of villager lives. he’s in agony and, even if you can’t see a human expression, you can tell with his wavering voice he deeply regrets what he did. this is shown in contrast to nier, who’s expression changes little. he’s only focused on comforting the distressed emil, and seemingly doesn’t feel much in regards to the lost lives.

in fact, he says something incredibly cold, and telling, of what he thinks of what took place, and where he’s heading from now on.

Nier: Really. Don’t look back.

nier kills, and kills, and kills, and doesn’t look back. he thinks, he doesn’t need to, he has to keep looking forward, he needs to keep his eyes on yonah and her whereabouts. if not, she might slip away, therefore, he can’t afford to look back.

but what if he did look back? what will he see? a trail of blood and corpses, all of his own making? would he feel anything, anything at all upon seeing such a thing?

gideon’s revenge:

the first thing we are shown in this section of the story is jakob’s demise, and gideon’s change. the boy lost both his mother and brother to the junk heap, and we’re shown him teetering on madness in regards to his fixation with revenge. he wants the robot responsible for his brother’s death dead at all costs, working on forging weapons for years in an attempt to make a sword that can bring it down.

Gideon: I need to ask you for a favor. Nier: Oh yeah? Gideon: I want you to avenge my brother! Grimoire Weiss: That’s a rather ponderous mission. Gideon: It’s my mission! It’s the whole reason I’ve been creating these weapons for the past four years. Gideon: I don’t care about money! I only care about making a weapon strong enough to kill those bastards!

sounds familiar? well, i’d think that’s the intention. gideon’s state and his vengeance is an obvious allusion to nier’s own quest for yonah. while she’s (probably) not dead, he is going on his own personal cruel rampage for it. having done the forest of myth quest before this one, the allusions just feel even more obvious.

Weiss: It spoke! This Shade has intelligence! And emotion! Nier: Who cares? Nier brushes Weiss' comment aside has his sword sliced through the Shade's right arm.

both nier and gideon expressed they don’t care, not as long as they can accomplish their goal. they’re both full of rage over the loss of their own sibling, and seem to teeter on madness in their own quests... but.

Gideon: You stupid machine! You killed my family! You took everything from me! Nier: Hey, come on. That’s enough. Gideon: Aaah ha ha! I did it! Now that this goddamn thing is dead, I can forage wherever I want! Gideon: Just wait, you goddamn freak! Now I can make all KINDS of powerful weapons! Gideon: Just leave it to me! Leave it all to me! HA HA HA HA HA! AAAH HA HA HA HAAAAAH! Nier: Look, we get it, okay? Really...

this scene does invoke a sense of ‘wow, this reminds me of what nier is like when he’s killing shades’, but what’s surprising... is how nier reacts. he’s disturbed. in jakob, he starts to see himself, and feels an inch of hesitation in his actions and what he’s become. for a moment, he’s tempted to not look forward, but to look back.

Grimoire Weiss: Hatred and Madness will never heal a wounded heart. Nier: Maybe it’s just all that he’s capable of right now. Grimoire Weiss: Revenge is a fool’s errand. Nier: ...Yeah. I know.

when he says, ‘maybe it’s just all that he’s capable of now’, you can tell nier feels a sense of empathy for the poor boy. he understands. nier, who had spent five years hunting shades for his lost sister, can see himself in the boy who spent four years forging swords to avenge his brother. and, another thing he sees, is a distorted image of himself. a broken revenge-hungry madman, someone he hesitates to become, but is well on the path to becoming to. recognizing this terrifies him.

the aerie and jakob— what do these two tell of nier’s mental landscape?

he, despite seemingly being a kind helpful person, has a tendency to over-prioritize those much closer to him. this was on a smaller level when he was younger, but it only developed and became worse throughout the timeskip. it’s gotten bad enough that he can close his eyes and look away from an entire village he killed, but he isn’t so far off yet. a smidge of his former self still remains, and that self is afraid upon seeing what gideon had become. gideon represents what nier may become once his former self fully disappears. and, to nier, to become a broken revenge-hungry madman, is something even he feels troubled thinking about... but for yonah, he’s willing to do anything, right? so will he take a moment to look back, or keep looking forward?

we’ll find out soon enough.

#nier: replicant #drakenier #brother nier #nier

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