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senawashere · 2 months

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Carolina?

Summary: Who is Carolina? Is she the other woman? And why Bradley is talking about her in his sleep?

A/n: I wrote this like 2 or 3 years ago for another character and i wanted to post again🤭

Warnings: tooth rutting fluff actually. Maybe a bit angst. And a bit smutt at the end. Hehehehe.

Bradley always talked in his sleep,most of life. So you were ok with it. But one night,everything chances.

You slowly wake up to a chill in the air, realizing that Bradley has closed most of the windows once again, as usual.

The room is dark, and the digital clock on your nightstand shows 4:28; you've only been asleep for four hours.

As you turn to the side, you see Bradley curled up in the blankets, lying on his side with his back turned to you. You approach him, pulling the blanket closer for warmth, and snuggle up to your husband, wrapping your arm around his abdomen. You drift back to sleep with you melting in his embrace, emitting a low, soft purr from his curled lips.

He feels so warm and resilient against you that you bury your face into his back, inhaling his scent, placing a few kisses on his shoulder blades before laying your head on the pillow. You hear Bradley's gentle murmurs as he returns to his dreams. When you open your eyes, you lift your head slightly, leaning towards him in hopes of understanding what he's saying, but his words are jumbled.

"Brad?" you whisper, wondering if he's about to wake up.

"Baby..." he murmurs, and then you hear something inconsistent.

"I'm here," you say softly, kissing his shoulder. He usually calls you "baby," so you assume he's talking to you.

"Baby... My baby..." he repeats, and as you smile at the thought of him dreaming about you, everything shatters with a single word.

"Carolina... Carolina, baby… my…girl"

Wait a second, who is Carolina?

It wakes you up faster than an alarm. As you sit up, looking at your still-sleeping husband, talking about someone named Carolina in his dreams, you're left puzzled. You don't know anyone by that name, so she must be someone Bradley knows, and that's concerning.

"Carolina... beautiful..." the words spill from his lips, almost inaudible but piercing your ears like a punch to the chest.

Lately, he's been so confused, but you haven't thought much about it, attributing it to all the work he put into his job and getting promoted. However, now you see it in a different light.

And yes you know his mother’s name is Carol but the problem is Carol and Carolina are not the same.

Or are they? No probably not.

Could Bradley be spending time with another woman? The thought of him cheating on you didn't cross your mind. Everything seemed so perfect; you were planning the moving somewhere else next summer, and he didn't seem regretful of his decision to marry you.

But then who is Carolina? And if she invaded his dreams, how important could she be? More important than you? It made your stomatch flip.

Afterward, you struggled to sleep, tossing and turning in bed for hours.

Bradley stops talking afterward, turning his face up, and while you lie awake next to him, going through every possible theory in your mind, he simply sleeps peacefully, unaware of your racing thoughts. As the sun begins to rise on the horizon, you're already out of bed, perched on a kitchen stool with your laptop, hoping to find a clue Bradley left behind as you delve into the history.

But what if he's really doing this? If he's cheating on you, he wouldn't be foolish enough to get caught like this. Right?

You make tea and reluctantly check his socials that he follows almost everyone he knows. You hate stalking your husband with the thought of him cheating on you but now you want to know if something strange is happening. Unfortunately, or fortunately, nothing suspicious comes up. Most of the accounts are from people who works with, either with people you know,his old friends, or his family members and some of his dads old friends.

No sign of another woman.

That’s good. Right?

Bradley wakes up to an empty bed. It's strange that you're not cuddling him or holding onto him like a koala bear. He blinks his swollen eyes a few times, adjusting to the low light, and straightens the other side of the bed where your body used to rest. Since the room isn't even that cold, he knows you've been up for a while.

Yawning and rubbing his eyes, he throws on a sweatshirt and slowly exits the room, sliding his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He notices you immediately, curled up on the edge of the couch, looking out of the window. Your forehead is creased, indicating something is bothering you.

"Hey, honey, the bed was cold without you," he murmurs, walking towards you with slow steps, sitting beside you on the couch near the window.

You look at him, your jaw clenched,on verge of tears and even though you didn't want to start like this, the truth about the morning overwhelms you.

"Who is Carolina?"

Confusion is evident on his face. It's not the kind of thing that someone doesn't know what or who is being talked about. Carolina is a real person, and Bradley knows exactly who she is.

"What's this about now?" he asks, leaning back, putting some distance between you two, his arm dropping over the back of the couch,confusion is clearly visible all over his face.

"Do you know anyone named Carolina?" you push, narrowing your eyes.

"I do... well, I mean... it's not what you think honey really..."

"You talk in your sleep, Bradley."

"What?" his eyes widen.

"You often murmur incoherently, but last night, you kept repeating the name Carolina, and... you even called her baby. You called her baby! You only call me baby. "

The revelation dawns on him as you watch, and he takes a slow breath, exhaling gently. This is going to be more complicated than you anticipated.

"I'm telling you, but promise not to think I've lost my mind, okay?"

"You're scaring me, Bradley," you breathe out. "Tell me. Please."

"Okay, okay," he says, inhaling deeply and then nodding slightly. "Do you remember... the day when we thought you might be pregnant, about like five months ago?"

"Of course, I remember," you nod,biting your lip.

Your period was late, and you had vomited in the morning. Bradley had taken a test, and you both sat on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, waiting for the results. It came back negative.

You felt relieved, but a part of you wondered how it would have been if you were pregnant. Something in your head told you it wouldn't have been a big deal, but the timing wasn't right because you two were just about to get married and it would have been nice to get married first before having a baby.

"A few days after that... I had a dream."

"A dream?" You furrow your brows, unsure where this is going.

"Yeah. It was about you and me, and... we had a baby. A little girl. It wasn't something crazy; you were breastfeeding her in our bed, and I was watching you, and then I was holding her, rocking her to sleep and she was sleeping in my arms... It felt real, and when I woke up... I felt like something was missing."

You listen to him carefully, your lower lip tense, and your heart pounding in your chest.

"Since then, I've been having similar dreams. At least twice a week. Always the same baby, always with you inside, but we do different things. Sometimes we bathe her,sometimes we play tickling,sometimes we walk in the park, and sometimes she sleeps in a stroller... Once my mom and dad were in it and one time I saw Mav and Penny too, God, it felt so real," he confesses with a shaky breath. "The last few times, we didn't even have her with us. We gave her a name."

"Carolina? Her name is Carolina?" you softly ask, pushing yourself closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Yes. She looks a lot like you, but her eyes are like mine. A perfect mix of both of us, and... I couldn't shake it off. Sometimes I wake up after a dream, and I feel like something has been taken away from us, it feels so real,I miss her even though I don't know her."

"Why didn't you tell me about these dreams, Baby?" you whisper, placing a small kiss on his shoulder.

"It felt super foolish, and I didn't know how it would make you feel. I knew we talked about trying for a baby after the wedding, and I thought bringing it up would upset you," he shrugs, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

As you sit on the couch, silence falls between you two, your head resting on his chest, his arms around you. This wasn't the outcome you expected. None of your theories came close to the truth Bradley just revealed.

"I was thinking about the same thing...for a while." you say.

"About what?"

"About having a baby. If the test had come back positive, how would it have been?"

"And...?" He leans back to look into your eyes.

"I wouldn't have aborted it," you admit honestly, and Bradley takes a slow breath, gently kissing your forehead. "Do you want to... start trying for a baby before we talk about,Bradley?"

"It can wait," he replies, looking as if he's afraid to say something that might upset you. "If we continue what we're doing, it's okay..."

"But I want to know what you want, Bradley. Tell me."

He takes a deep breath, running his tongue over his lips before speaking.

"I think I want it." The way your heart explodes at his words is undeniable. Realizing that he feels exactly the same way now brings tears to your eyes.

"It would probably mean a blow to the squad if we start now and succeed," you laugh, watching his eyes glimmer.

"That would be the best thing that ever happened," he chuckles, confessing, "just the thought of going on adventures while our baby grows under your heart... God, I could just cry just thinking about it."

"So," you grin, slyly teasing him as you hold his chin with one hand. "Carolina?"

"It could be something else if it's a boy."

"I like it," you murmur, nodding. "We can add it to the list. But before we start making lists, we should probably start trying for a baby, don't you think?"

He doesn't need more encouragement. As you both laugh and kiss, you find yourselves in your bedroom in an instant, clothes flying off as you fall onto the bed. Giving him a passionate kiss before he undresses you, you can't help but whisper, "I love you."

Ekkkk full of cuteness🥹🥹

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @sailor-aviator @sorchathered @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @bradshawssugarbaby @torchflies @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @bradshawsbaby @hardballoonlove @perfectprettypisces @topguncortez @hangmanapologist @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @promisingyounglady

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little-tainted-angel · 5 months

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๑ A secret between interlinked fingers.

Tim Drake x male!reader

Category: [Fluff/sfw/comical(?)]

Warnings: 5/5 bat-bros (Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian), male reader. Mention of Cassandra. 4/5 bat-bros don't believe Tim could go to therapy at all (I doubt any of them would). Reader uses Spanish pet names. May be too OOC.

Request: Yes / No | From: Anon.

«Hey! Could you please write Tim Drake x reader? Basically Tim is secretly dating a guy and they nostly hang out at school, his brother's get a bit too curious and listen in <3»

Note: My first request! Glad to have you here <3 I apologize if this isn't linked to your ask, Tumblr for some reason wouldn't let me edit it. I only had the options "delete" "program publication" and "post". Also, sorry this is short and if I got the characters personality wrong, I don't really know how to write Tim.

Resume: Tim and reader are dating, but they mostly just spend time in their school. His brothers got curious, and since all of them were raised by the world's best detective, is up to them to resolve the mystery that is Tim's relationship.

"I swear there's something strange in the kid's behavior," Jason muttered as he sat down on the couch, next to Damian while Duke was sitting on the other extreme. Dick was standing in front of them.

The four brothers (Cass also noticed, but Cass being Cass had already found out what it was), noticed that the brother —that was currently disappeared from the manor— had slight changes in his behavior.

It was sort of positive, they noticed. But they didn't know what caused it (therapy was discarded as an option by group agreement).

"Maybe he's self-improving for once?" Duke suggested, though he didn't sound convinced himself.

"TT. Doubt that Drake of all people could self-improve his pathetic self," Damian rolled his eyes.

"Damian, be nice," Dick sighed, looking at one of his baby brothers.

"Well, there must be a reason of why this small change." Jason crossed his arms.

"...And if we follow him to find out the reason?" Duke suggested.

"Wouldn't he notice?" Dick raised an eyebrow.

"It won't hurt giving it a try," he shrugged.

"I say we do it. What can end up wrong?" Jason pointed out.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣🌸￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

"All of this is ridiculous," Damian murmured.

"You agreed to it Habibi," Jason hummed, making Damian click his tongue.

The brothers managed to follow Tim to his school. That was the moment they noticed a male getting closer to Tim with a smile.

You were a new addition, they quickly realized. As they had never seen you before with Tim. And Tim seemed at ease with you.

"A boy?" Dick said amused. "That's the cause for Tim's subtle change?"

Don't get him wrong, his baby brother can date whoever he wants. He was just surprised Tim changed because of someone else.

"Who is dumb enough to be interested in him?" Damian replied, clearly not believing what he was seeing.

"That guy we just saw, apparently," Duke hummed.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩ

"Everything okay, Amor?" You asked Tim, as he seemed to be slightly on edge.

"Yeah...I just feel like someone's watching me." Tim replied, sighing as he left his head rest on your shoulder. He was tired, you could tell.

You hummed softly as one hand came to brush his hair out of his face.

"When did you last slept?" You asked him, quietly enough for no one else to hear you.

Tim grumbled quietly, avoiding the question.

"Cariño, when did you last slept?" You asked again with a small sigh.

"...48 hours ago?"

"Tim."

"You asked."

"Do I have to drug you for you to sleep properly?" You murmured, gently massaging his scalp.

"Mmm....maybe," Tim replied back, closing his eyes as he left you touch his hair.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Amor?"

"Love me," Tim replied.

"I already do that, it's easy," you said amused.

Tim grumbled some sort of answer that you couldn't process.

"Yeah, you're definitely sleep deprived, Amor."

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#dc x male reader #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake x male reader #dc x reader #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #reader #male reader

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fimbry · 11 months

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This is going to be a long post, a mix of what happened and then what Charlie meant to me. TW pet death

Charlie has passed away after eating 2 bad rats from Big Cheese Rodent Factory. She regurgitated 3 days after feeding and died two days later. I have been purchasing f/t rats from Big Cheese for years, and if my friend hadn't been having these same problems with the same batch of jumbo rats I would have thought this could be a freak incident or a mistake on my part. However, my friend's snakes are also regurgitating and one has died after eating these jumbo rats, and we bought them during the same Mother's Day sale. Same batch. I'll be getting a necropsy on Charlie to see if that has any answers as to what was off with the rats.

Now I get it that sometimes food safety measures don't get carried out every time and most suppliers have some kind of scandal like this, but the company's callous response and refusal to even entertain that it could be their rats at fault is pretty fucked up and has me a bit heated. It's just a "coincidence" my friend's and my snakes are getting sick/dying after eating rats from the same batch. Eye roll. The money doesn't even matter to me at this point so I may not message them further about this, I'm just so upset over the cold response and the loss of Charlie.

The email response from them:

With that out of the way, I do want to share what Charlie meant to me. She was a very special animal, I thought of her as the "matriarch" of my collection as I have a good number of her kids and grandchildren still with me. Four of each actually if I'm counting, and I love them so very much.

When I got Charlie I was still pretty green in the hobby. Yes I'd had snakes for years, my cornsnake and then a couple ball pythons, and even a Sumatran short-tail, my beloved Svid, but these were all very "easy" snakes... I learned with them, but I was not challenged the way that Charlie challenged me. I got Charlie as a full adult, she was my first blood python and I had not even planned to get into bloods until I saw her. I was planning to focus on Sumatran short tails, but Charlie changed things.

Charlie came out of the shipping bag striking and bit me on the finger immediately. Now I'm not sure if anyone remembers this but that video of the two little brothers "Charlie bit my finger" is how Charlie got her name lol.

The first 4 months were... challenging. I could not even touch her directly. I was so afraid I'd made a mistake. Charlie was a 17lb adult blood python, far bigger than my other snakes, and she was TERRIFIED of me. She wanted me to go to hell, and would send me there herself if only she could. We spent a lot of time together, just me sitting near her open enclosure and her glaring at me. Over the months we went from no contact, to minimal contact, until finally I was able to at least clean her without too much trouble. She liked routine, liked to know what was going to happen next. Any deviation from the routine and the trust would be broken, she'd be full of fear again. It was a few years of doing things purely by her strict rules.

Around 2014, something clicked. She began to actually trust that I wasn't going to hurt her and didn't have bad intentions. We seemed to have an actual understanding where if something happened out of the norm, she wouldn't react badly. I could even take her out for pictures and she behaved! Soon I was able to pet her, touch her tail (which I was doing a lot about now since I was trying to figure out why my "male" was not breeding, ha), even pet her head. I was still a bit wary of her, but we were in a good place. As the years went on, our trust grew deeper and I knew she wouldn't bite me, and she knew I was a safe person.

She also showed me how intelligent these snakes could be. She could tell people apart which became obvious if she saw anyone besides me. While I had earned her trust, others had not, so I refrained from taking her out if others were around. While she was a big beautiful animal, I couldn't take her out to show guests. I respected her all the more for it, if I'm honest. She knew what she was about, and I didn't push that.

Over the years she ended up giving me three clutches of beautiful babies, she did such a good job. After her last clutch in 2021, she started showing her age. She was nearing 20 years old, if not over, and had begun getting wrinkled scales and grew a cataract in one eye. I decided to retire her from breeding and let her enjoy her golden years in peace. Pythons can live a very long time, so I expected to have another ~10 years with her.

I'm devastated that her retirement was cut short like this, devastated that I was robbed of more time together. We had both grown and changed a lot over the last 12 years together, and she really was a picture of "to be loved is to be changed." My sweet old lady who knew me, and I knew her. ♥

#python brongersmai #reptiblr #snake #blood python #Charlie #tw pet death

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animehideout · 5 months

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A Deal ( Ryomen Sukuna X Reader )

Part 5

part 6 here.

Part 4 here.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this part as well, sorry for taking too long to post this chap. →Since I didn't choose the ending yet, would you like a HAPPY ending ( with either Sukuna / Gojo ) or ANGST ??? ✨

you can vote here concerning the ending

Warnings: SMUT NSFW MDNI , oral sex giving 🔞⚠️

“I won't allow it.. Y/n won't leave with you” said Sukuna as his intimidating form approached both of you.

Turning his hands into fists, “With this treasure.. I summon..” started Megumi, but you quickly stopped him, and stood in front of him.

“Hah! summoning Mahoraga? is this how you thank me for giving you your body back.. completely harmless? how foolish” Mocked Sukuna.

“HE WILL LEAVE” you said, trying to protect Megumi, you turned around facing him “Go Megumi I-”

“No, not without you..”

“No please, trust me” you whispered, giving him a comforting smile.

One of Sukuna's four arms reached yours, pulling you to stand next to him. His second arm wrapped tightly around your waist,

“See Megumi! she is my property now..so you better leave before my mercy fades away”

You gulped as Sukuna started threatening your bestfriend, your eyes pleading him to leave this cursed place. You nodded trying to tell him that you'll be okay. Finally, after putting all of your nerves on the edge, Megumi left.

A wave of relief and depression washed over you. Relieved that Megumi is finally free, safe and soon he'll be reunited with your loved ones. But depressed because now you're utterly and completely alone. Before despite Sukuna taking control over Megumi's body, you still can feel him there, hiding somewhere deep.

A teat rolled down your cheek, oh how much you wanted to leave with him, and pretend that all of what happened was just a nasty nightmare and finally you'll be in Gojo's embrace all safe and sound.

“You agreed to let me see them one last time, why did you change your mind now?” you said in a monotone, eyes looking down.

“Huh? who said I changed my mind? I'm keeping my promise, but you won't go woth Megumi cuz I'm the one who'll be taking you, wait for you and leave again with you” he explained.

“Aren't you scared that Jujutsu sorcerers might execute you? you know they'd be prepared” you asked

“Me? scared of humans? Don't be silly now little one” he answered in a mocking low-tone.

His grip tightened around you, his other arms turned your body, your chest bumping with his. The moment you made eye contact with his glowing red eyes, electricity ran through your system, heart almost jumping out of your throat, his huge up close form scared you away and now you realize how silly you were to ask a stupid question like that...He is indeed the King Of Curses.

You flinched away but he held you in place,

“No don't be scared now, kitten. You know I won't kill you” he laughed enjoying your intimidated face, “I'll keep on sparing your soul as long as you keep behaving like the good girl you are ..right ? my sorcerer? ”he added.

Your hands shaking, forehead dripping with cold sweats, you couldn't do anything but nod.

“W-when are we g-going?” you managed to ask.

“Tomorrow night ..I take you to Jujutsu high”

A flame of hope lit up in your heart, maybe Jujutsu sorceress do something maybe, Gojo doesn't hold back like last time cuz it was Megumi's body and kill Sukuna this time. Maybe finally he'll free you from your misery, and wakes you up from this horrible nightmare, so you can live in your sweet dream that you've had with Satoru.

His long fingers reached your face, running his sharp fingernails on your soft skin and your jawline leaving a trace,

“But for now why don't you focus on me” he started.

“not again” you thought to yourself, you were already sore he just fucked you moments ago, your legs still shaking. As much as he filled you with pleasure you won't let him inside you this time.

“Don't you want to have a taste of this?” he added, taking off what was covering his bottom side revealing his two huge cocks.

You almost shocked at the sight if them, your mind running with thoughts wondering if he could fit both of them in your little hole. If he does, he won't only stretch you out he will tear you in half.

As much as you hate it, you couldn't help all the nasty ideas you've got only by one look, eager to test it.

“Like what you see? now why don't you get on your knees and please me? this body must be worshipped by someone and that someone is..you” he smiled,

as he sat on the edge of the bed pushing you down in a kneeling position,

“Let me see you struggle to fit all of this inside your pretty mouth”

Your hands found their way around his first cock while your mouth welcomed his second. Your fingers ran along his hardening length, rubbing it. Trying to please both of them equally.

His hand held the back of your head pushing you forward making his dick go deep inside your throat, making you choke and gag, tears forming in your eyes as you struggled to suck all of him.

Groans and low growls escaped his mouth from all the pleasure, throwing his head back driven by the thoughts of you swallowing his real body's seeds,

“Come on little sorcerer... don't fucking stop”

Taglist 🫶🏻✨:

@kiki17483 @bellagum @certainduckpalaceland @darlax @bontensbabygirl @aquatufana @saiyara05

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sh0ek0 · 8 months

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midnight love (part 4)

please find the other parts via my masterlist in the pinned post on my blog!

pairing: megumi x f!reader summary: after surprising you on your 21st birthday, you ditch your friends to be with Megumi and finally talk. How will things be between the two of you, after everything that happened? genre: angst, but there's smut in the end heh content warning: !aged up characters!, college au, abusive/toxic relationship and dynamics, dark content, euphoria inspired dialogue (the part in the car is heavily inspired but I just love that conversation), mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking/cigarettes, explicit smut I guess lol word count: 6.7k

a/n: honestly, even if one person likes and comments on my writing it motivates me to keep going so thank you @denkisupremacist ily. also thanks to everyone else that commented/liked/reblogged the other parts. if u want to be tagged just dm me <3

recommended songs: midnight love - girl in red / I THINK - Tyler, The Creator / Altitude - Montell Fish / Exscape - Montell Fish

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD ! MDNI ! 18+

It wasn't that you liked lying to your friends. But as soon as you stepped back into the bar and slipped the necklace Megumi had just given you into your pocket, you knew you had to come up with an excuse to get out of here as quickly as possible.

"There you are!"

Yuji and Yuta were standing in front of you. They had both put on their jackets and looked at you with relief as you walked through the door.

"We came to check on you, you've been gone for almost half an hour," Yuji says, and you see Yuta's eyes follow your hand as you stuff the necklace into your pocket, but he says nothing.

"Uh—sorry, guys I could’ve texted one of you," you mumble, "my mum, she, uh, just had a lot to talk about."

Yuji’s is about to return to the others and take you with him to complete his mission as you link arms with him, when suddenly you both hear Yuta clear his throat. You spin around, feeling caught as you see the tall boy still standing there, frozen in place, his expression telling you that he didn't buy your story.

You hesitate for a moment, but then you give Yuta a questioning look.

"Really? Did something happen? I mean, it's late, why didn't she call you earlier if she wanted to talk?", Yuta asks and you let go of Yuji's arm, who oblivious to the suggestiveness in Yuta's voice. You watch him make his way back to your table before turning back to Yuta.

"No, everything's fine," you start as Yuta avoids your gaze and looks outside through the large windows in the entrance, as if he expected someone to be waiting there, "I guess my mum just misses me.

"Are you waiting for someone or shall we go back?" you finally ask him with a smile on your lips as he turns back to you.

"The texts that popped up on your phone earlier weren't from your mum, y/n."

You flinch, barely noticeable, as you hear what Yuta says to you. You had already turned away from him to join the others, deciding that if he wanted to investigate any further, he could do so on his own.

"Yuta, please…", you groan and look at him, rolling your eyes.

Now you really wanted to avoid him, so instead of going back to the others, you made your way through the people towards the bar in the back.

"No, stop avoiding me, I know he texted you." You heard his voice from right behind you. Great, he followed you.

"What do you want to hear now?", you ask him, turning to look him straight in the eye. He holds your gaze, towering over you as he takes off his jacket. You climb onto one of the stools by the bar and cross your arms like a stubborn child.

"I want to hear that you're not only getting older but also more mature, y/n," Yuta sighs, plopping down on the bar stool right next to you.

"How long have we known each other now? Three years? Four years? You were already Maki's best friend when I met you two."

"What’s you point, Yuta? Is it because of Maki? I don't think he'll do anything to her, I can assure you..."

"No, y/n, he won't do anything to her, but he will do something to you, and you don't want to realize that."

"Yuta, he said he’s sorry, he was drunk and he saw me with Choso, that was kind of my fault, I-", you protest, "I triggered that reaction."

You could see the spark of desperation flash across Yuta's face. It wasn't your fault, you didn't provoke him, you didn't trigger his reaction - but you weren't ready to admit that.

"He would never hurt me on purpose, I think he just needs... help," you added, "I can help him."

Yuta pressed his lips together and closed his eyes for a tiny moment. His sigh was clearly audible, he rubbed his temples as if his head hurt.

"None of us can protect you," he admitted, before taking a deep breath, "and I can't bear to hold my girlfriend in my arms over and over again while she cries because her best friend wakes up next to her from a panic attack five nights in a row, because she was assaulted and almost strangled by a guy she thinks loves her."

His words force you to look up at him and your eyes widen as you realize what he had just said. Maki has always been so strong for you, you don't remember when you last saw her crying, and now you realize how selfish you have been. You were only able to put up with everything Megumi had done to you because your friends were there to catch you.

"And I'm afraid of the day I'll find out that this guy has gone too far and I'll never be able to see my friend again." Yuta takes one of the two beers he ordered for both of you and takes a sip.

You swallow, amazed at how quickly this conversation had turned.

"Yuta, you know Megumi, you know what his problems are, I can't leave him, I love him," you blurt out, "I can't leave him."

"I haven't really known him for a while now, and I think he needs therapy before he's allowed to ever come near you again."

"You're not his personal punching bag, fuck, y/n, I've seen that before with my mum and my - my dad."

Your heart starts beating faster as you listen to what he reveals. He's never told you that before.

"He won't change," he mumbles, taking another sip, his gaze averted from you.

"That," his eyes were on your neck now, making you want to turn away from him, "you can still cover up. Next will be the black eye and the broken nose."

"If you’re lucky," he adds quietly. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

It was just like the conversation with Yuji, you just couldn't argue, you had no arguments. You could justify everything to yourself, but to Yuta? To Yuji? To Maki? Of course they were right, but you didn't want to hear it. You didn't believe that you could be alone and you didn't believe that you could ever love another person the way you loved Megumi. What could you say to your friends, your friends who had been worried from the beginning?

Megumi had once belonged to this group, until he changed more and more and your relationship grew more difficult.

So you wondered what you should tell your friends in the future. Right in this moment, you couldn't even look Yuta in the eye, especially him, he had been the first to notice…

"Let me go, Megumi, you’re hurting me," you begged, pressed up against the wall. It was dark, of course it was, you went out tonight with all of your friends and you were far away from the dance floors upstairs. It was so dark that you could barely make out his face, only occasionally did a few lights flash across his features.

He had one hand on your hip, his fingers digging into your bare skin, while the other had a firm grip on your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

"What was that, huh?", he spat at you, he was nearly fuming, his body pressed up against yours in an attempt to keep you in place, "Were you flirting with him? I saw the looks you gave him."

"'Gumi he’s in one of my seminars, it was noth—ow!" You grimace in pain as his hand leaves your hip and grabs your upper arm instead, pulling you along with him. He walks a few steps until you are at the foot of the stairs leading up. Megumi rears up in front of you, towering over you as he forces you a few more steps backwards into the cramped space between the stairs and the wall.

"No, stop, what are you doing, I don’t-", you protest, but you have no chance to escape, "Stop this nonsense, Megumi, nothing happened, let me..."

"You’re dressed like a fucking hooker for what, hmm? For him?", he growled, the tone of his voice silencing you in an instant, "Wanna show me what you wanted to do to him?" He pushed you against the wall. You groaned as you lost your balance for a second and hit the back of your head.

"Come on, don’t be so shy now."

You stared up at your boyfriend, trapped between him and the wall behind you. His hands were groping all over your body, and you felt his right hand move up to grab your chin again, but this time it didn't stay there. Instead, his fingers wrapped around your neck, squeezing lightly, but none of that seemed familiar. He had done this before, in another setting, he knew you liked it, but this time was different. Even though it was dark, you could see the lust in his eyes, but there was none in yours. And you could feel how upset he was, he was angry and rough and you knew that he didn't care what you wanted at the moment.

"Stop, I—I don’t want this, let me go," you sobbed and tried to wriggle out of his grip, "Megumi, please, let me go…"

"What the fuck, man, leave her alone."

You looked up to see Yuta rushing down the stairs, grabbing Megumi by the shoulders and pulling him back without waiting for any more context. He read the situation right, so he didn't need you to confirm anything for him.

He heard you the first time.

"Fuck, man, what was that supposed to be? What's wrong with you?", he shouted at him, pushing him back, further down the hall. Yuta actually was a bit taller than Megumi and was able to keep him in check, even if he fought back. You had probably never seen Yuta this upset and Megumi seemed to think the same, but you had no intention of staying to see what they would make of it.

As soon as Megumi was busy with Yuta, you gave him a thankful look and hurried up the stairs, right into Maki’s arms. She quickly realised what was going on and sent Yuji to separate the two.

After that, you left with her and Nobara and that was the first of many nights you spent in Maki's bed, instead of your own.

"Hey, guys, there you are," Maki interrupts the two of you as she walks over to her boyfriend and puts her arm around his waist.

Noticing that the others have also gathered around you, obviously ready to leave, you look in the other direction and wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes.

"We've decided to move on," Yuji says excitedly, "we'll either go to another bar or back to our apartment, what do you think?"

"That's actually a good idea," Yuta chimes in, standing up and grabbing his jacket before taking Maki's hand, "let's go."

You stand up as well and take your chance while you can.

"Guys, I would love to come with you, but I have to retake an exam on Monday and I think I really need to catch up on some sleep," you explain, and you're not even lying, "Shoko offered to drive me home, she's already waiting for me outside, so I think I should go."

Well, that was a lie.

Your friends protest, but you ignored them - you had already put on your jacket and were about to give each of them a big hug.

"Thank you for the surprise," you say and wave goodbye, "Honestly guys, it was so much fun with you, thank you."

You smile and did your best to avoid their glances, trying not to look at Yuta, Choso or Maki, who had probably already seen through you as well.

"See you," you mumble and turn around, taking your phone out of your purse to text Megumi before you had even left the bar.

You grin to yourself, eyes glued to you phone as you push open the door, your other hand fishing the necklace out of the pocket of your jeans. You put your phone back in your purse before you put your necklace back on when you hear another notification.

Megumi had sent you his location, so you followed the map on your phone screen without looking back. You were already quite far away and out of sight, but if you had turned around, you would have seen how your friends left the bar. And then you would have seen how Gojo and Getou were standing outside with them, with Shoko in their middle, waiting for the others.

Shoko, who, as you told them earlier, was supposed to drive you home.

You are just about to get into his car as a call from Maki appears on your screen. Instead of answering it, you reject the call, and you lean over to Megumi to kiss him. Then you turn off your phone.

***

I know I don’t want to Be the one that you run to When you got nowhere else to go When you need some love

You watched as Megumi tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, while you were silently listening to the music playing in the car. He had one hand on your thigh and while he was driving the two of you sat in comfortable silence. The setting was much too familiar for you to be nervous around him.

"Why did you not even hesitate for a second when I texted you earlier?"

I know I’m the last one You try to call but I always give in To give you it all

"What?", you ask after a moment. You understood what he said, but still.

"I know I hurt you, I mean-" He looked over to you, before turning back to the street.

"I mean, not only physically but also.. emotionally."

Yue.

The images of him being all over her came back flooding to your brain and you just shook your head as if you were trying to get those thoughts out of your mind.

"Can we not talk about that?", you ask and try to smile at him, while you feel his hand squeezing your thigh.

I can’t be your midnight love When your silver is my gold

Megumi stays quiet after that. You sink deeper into the seat and think about the last time you sat here, think about what you said to him.

"Sometimes I feel like you've ruined me forever," you say after a while, staring out of the windshield in front of you. You let your head fall back against the headrest, before turning to look at him.

In this light, I swear I’m blind In this light, I swear you’re mine

"Well, it does sound romantic when you say it like that," Megumi replies after thinking about your words for a little while.

"I still love you, you know that?" He looks at you.

"Yeah, you said that, after kissing me goodbye earlier," you mumble, not taking your eyes off him,

"But why, though? Why do you love me, when you do all this?"

You can see that he thinks about your question for a moment, and when he speaks, it’s probably not quite what you wanted to hear. Rather, you wanted to hear why he hurt you so much, again and again, when he said he loved you.

"'Cause you’re smart. And cruel, in a way, but not really. You’re so beautiful I don’t ever get tired of looking at you."

"Not really smart?", you ask.

"Not really cruel," Megumi says.

You nod and you don’t say anything after that, at least not for little while. Instead, you watch the lights go by as the car pulls off the highway and slows down after another few minutes, eventually coming to a stop and you realize you're in the parking lot in front of Megumis dorm building.

You look over at him, once again.

"You know, it’s funny that you say that," you observe, "it’s funny because that’s something I didn’t really realize until after you broke up with me."

"That you’re the cruel one, and not me."

You swallow and feel his hand leaving your thigh to turn off the car.

"Did you know that I loved you?", you ask, without taking your eyes off of him, "Of course you know that, I’ve told you often enough."

You told him right in this car, a few weeks ago. The exact same thing.

"I’ll probably sound like a broken record but I’m not talking about obsessing over you, or fighting or fucking," you declare and your hands start trembling, "I’m talking about love."

"Did you feel loved by me?" The question rolls of your tongue so easily but the minute you asked, you were afraid of the answer.

"I don’t know." He says, almost to quiet for you to hear him. That’s what you were afraid of.

"I don’t know if I feel anything, really," he adds,

"I just know that I love you. And I haven’t stopped, ever, since the moment I first saw you."

I hope that the right time one day arrives So I’ll be willing to let this die Able to look you right in the eyes Say I’m not your consolation prize

"You wanna stay the night?", he then asks, one hand still on the steering wheel, as if he needs to hold on to something.

"I’d love to," you reply immediately.

***

You hadn't even made it into his dorm room as you were already pressed up against him, the two of you tightly entwined, one of his hands roaming your body while the other one was trying to unlock the door. As soon as you stepped into the building together you'd closed the distance between you, pressed your lips so gently to his, and he didn't stop kissing or touching you since, the way up to the second floor taking longer than expected.

You couldn't even begin to describe how good it was to feel him, to taste him, to smell him, to be pressed up against his body, to feel his breath on your skin as you heard the small pants he released into your mouth.

When Megumi finally manages to open the door, you almost lose your balance and you interrupt the kiss to catch yourself from stumbling. Thanks to his quick reflexes, he was able to catch you, his arms already wrapped around your body anyway. You noticed how content he looked, his eyes never once leaving yours, instead he seemed to get lost in them as he maneuvered you backwards into his apartment.

"What abou—mhmm," you try to ask, but you're quickly interrupted by Megumi pressing his lips to yours again as he closes the door behind you.

"What about Noritoshi?", you try again as he pulls away.

"Hmm?", he asks, and you can almost see the question marks popping up above his head.

Not a second later it dawns on him.

"Ohh, no, he's still out of the country," he says, kicking off his shoes, before locking his lips with yours again.

Right, his roommate's semester abroad, you almost forgot that he’s living alone at the moment.

"Thank God," you murmur against his lips as you slip your hands under his hoodie and t-shirt, pushing them both up and feeling the goosebumps on his skin as you touch him. He grins at your words and you help him out of his clothes, which he tosses carelessly to the side.

Standing with your back to the door, you had already slipped out of your jacket, it had found its place on the floor next to his clothes. Your noses bump together in the heat of the moment as Megumi pulls your shirt over your head, his lips so desperate to find yours again after being separated for a moment.

It causes both of you to giggle.

You look at him in awe, and even though you noticed earlier tonight that he must have lost some weight, he still looked so good. You reach out to him and touch his chest, your fingertips ghosting over his skin, tracing the outline of his abs down his stomach until you hook a finger into the waistband of his jeans, and you manage to open them up with the help of your other hand.

You don't get much further than that, as Megumi presses you up against the door slightly, his hands roaming your body before opening up your bra in a swift motion, tossing it to the side just like he did with your other clothes. His lips were on yours again and he relaxes into the kiss, supporting himself with his left hand next to your face, while his right caressed your waist, squeezing the flesh of your hips and tapping your thigh once, then twice, signaling you to wrap your hands around his neck, so you did. He picked you up with ease, his lips never leaving yours even for a second while your legs wrapped around his waist and he carries you through the room, over to his bed.

Megumi sets you down carefully on the mattress, pulling back for a moment to get rid of his jeans and pulling yours down as well before crawling after you. He hovers over you, supporting himself with both hands next to your face, taking a good look at your body before pressing his mouth to yours and forcing his tongue inside, making you moan against his lips.

His lips trail up your jaw, then down your neck to suck on your sensitive skin. You were lost in thought and the sensation made you flinch for a split second as you were still afraid of any kind of touch to your neck. You did your best not to show it, but of course he noticed.

"'m sorry, baby," Megumi mumbles against your skin, kissing up to the corner of your mouth, while you assure him that everything's alright.

"It’s okay," you breathe, cupping his face with one hand as you look into his eyes. He hesitates for a moment, but you can see a smile tugging at his lips.

"What?", you ask, brushing a black strand of hair out of his face.

"You look so pretty," he sighs. After all, he was the only one that was able to make you blush like that.

"Oh, stop it." You loved it when he talked like this.

"No, I missed your pretty face," he insists.

"Missed those two pretty girls," he continues, as his lips trail down your chest, kissing your soft skin and latching his mouth onto your hardened nipple, while his hand began to play with the other bud. He drew a few soft moans from you, your fingertips grabbing at his messy hair.

After giving some attention to them, he released your already swollen nipple with a lewd pop! to move his lips further down your body, peppering your stomach with kisses, his nose brushing over your skin and the cold air hitting your wet buds sent shivers down your spine.

You couldn’t help but whine as he kissed down the inside of your thighs, spreading them apart with his large hands while his fingertips were digging into you skin, revealing the damp fabric of your panties. As he kissed the wet patch that was already starting to form you had no other response for him than the needy moan that escaped your lips, and when you felt his teeth grazing at the seam of your underwear, you grew impatient.

"'Gumi, please," you whimper, your fingers still buried in his dark hair, now slightly tugging at the ends.

"Missed my pretty pussy," he groans, before pulling your wet panties to the side, making you shiver once again as the cold air met your slick.

"Fuck, you’re so wet for me," Megumi hisses, swiping his thumb over your clit and through your folds, gathering your juices.

"All for me," he muses, looking up at you as you lie there, looking so pretty for him, with flushed cheeks and those lewd moans that you couldn’t stop from escaping your throat.

"Megumi, please," you plead, again, wriggling your hips downwards in his direction, "n-need you, now."

But he ignored your begging, savoured this moment to the fullest while he inspected your pussy, admiring how wet you were just from making out with him.

"Stop being such a fucking tease," you whimper and close your eyes, throwing your head back in a stubborn attempt to grasp a single, clear thought, while your mind was already growing so dizzy with him taking his time.

"Mhm, won’t let me enjoy the view for a moment, huh? So needy already", Megumi groans with a sly grin on his lips. He pulls down your panties in an agonizingly slow motion, keeping them in his hands before coming back up to press a kiss to your lips, which you return hungrily, causing him to chuckle.

He pulls away, while staring deep into your eyes.

"Open your mouth," he orders while you just stare at him through glassy eyes. You’re perplexed for a second, looking at your panties in his hand.

"I said," he coos, lowering himself down to your ear, "open your mouth."

You finally obey, parting your lips and showing your tongue. Without another word he stuffs your dampened panties into your mouth, the sensation of your own taste on your tongue drawing a muffled moan from you.

"Next time think twice before giving me orders," he growls into your ear, his low voice making you rub your thighs together in anticipation. You nod, moaning against the fabric as Megumi returns to his original position, and hooks his arms around your legs. Without another warning he licks a thick stripe along your dripping cunt, swirling his tongue through your wet folds, but never quite hitting your clit. He was still teasing you, not giving you what you wanted just because you acted up.

You let out a desperate moan, even though it’s muffled by the soft fabric stuffed into your mouth. A fat tear rolls down your cheek while you’re squirming beneath him, desperate for some attention on your swollen bud.

His tongue circles your entrance, licking through your folds while he’s eager on not giving your clit too much attention. You whimper and whine, your body trembling underneath him as your hands let go of his hair, moving up your thighs towards your core when you couldn’t wait any longer for him to finally give you what you wanted.

The vibrations of Megumi humming against your slick left you wanting for more, and just as you were about to let your own fingers dive in, giving yourself some kind of release and rubbing at your clit, he grabs both of your wrists with one of his large hands and holds them tightly while he continued to lap at your sweet pussy. You’re left whining and begging, most of your sounds being inaudible, but he could hear how desperate you were.

You almost choke on your own spit as you suddenly feel him sucking hard on your neglected clit, your hips bucking up towards him made him release your wrists from his tight grip. He dug his fingers into the plush of your thighs to force them back open and keep you from suffocating him between your legs, after they clamped down around his head at the unexpected sensation.

Those deep groans he was releasing into your sopping pussy made you even wetter, and it felt like Megumi wanted to drown in you, his tongue pushing in and out of your hole, circling your clit and sucking on it, while you were only able to roll your eyes back and whine in desperation, your moans getting swallowed as your mouth was stuffed full.

You throw your head back again, breathing hard through your nose, while hot tears kept flowing down your cheeks, you couldn’t take it, it was just too much for you.

Megumi glances up at you, watching you squirm and wriggle under his grip, enjoying every second of your struggle, while you felt your core tighten with every swipe of his tongue against your cunt.

"Oh, I really fucking missed this pussy," he growls, with a grin on his lips, while all you could do was moan so desperately in return.

Your body tenses up as he flicks his tongue against your clit, and just when you thought that you were about to lose your mind, he brings a hand up to push a long digit inside of your clenching hole, sliding in a second as a response to your loud moans right after, pumping them in and out of you slowly, and stretching you out as your walls squeeze down on him.

"Hnnngh," you whimper, everything else getting swallowed by your soaked panties. You were so close and he knew that, picking up the pace at which he was pumping his digits in and out of you, curling his fingers into your core, while his tongue was relentlessly drawing circles on your sensitive bud.

"What was that?", he asks, a teasing smirk on his lips, "Speak up."

You whine and squeeze your thighs together, when finally he pulls the fabric out of your mouth, a string of saliva still clinging to it as drool trickles down the corner of your mouth.

"So nasty," he grunts, tossing your panties aside, "you’re close?"

You nod with your eyes closed. "Mhmm," you whine, "’Gonna cum, please, make me cum."

"Fuck, you look so hot," he groans lowly, "gonna cum for me? Go ahead, baby."

"I’ve got you, cum on my tongue."

And just as he pushes a third finger inside you, tongue still relentlessly lapping at your wet folds, you let out a loud cry and your head falls back against the mattress. You can feel your cunt squeezing down against his fingers as your orgasm washes over you and your thighs start to shake as he pulls his fingers out, lazily rubbing your throbbing clit through your high, leaving you shuddering while seeing only stars behind your closed eyes.

It takes a while for you to come down again and you peel your eyes open to see Megumi hovering over your body, admiring the fucked out expression on your face. He kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his lips, a small whimper falling from your mouth in return. You cup his face, almost too weak to reach your arm out for him, while he soothingly brushes his thumb over your cheek.

"Did so, so good for me, baby," he coos, you enjoy his praise, and having his warm body pressed up against you felt so familiar.

You’re too overwhelmed as you watch him pull off his briefs, the sight of his cock making you dizzy once again. It’s not like it’s the first time you see him, but every time he manages to make your mouth water just at the sight of how big he his, so big that you can already feel the sting he would cause while stretching you out.

"Tired?", he asks with a smirk on his face, and without waiting for an answer he grabs you by your hips and pulls you towards him.

"Let me take care of that," he groans, helping you up to place a pillow underneath your hips, "Just relax for me, baby."

Your face was still so hot, and your cheeks still flushed a deep shade of pink. Your head lolls to the side, exhaustion pulling at your heavy eyelids, as Megumi grabs your chin and turns your face towards him.

"Hey, look at me, babygirl," he chuckles, "'Wanna see your pretty face when my dick’s buried deep inside of you."

Megumi wastes no time, smearing pre-cum that leaked from his tip along your still completely soaked cunt, and lining himself up with your entrance. You can’t do anything else than let out a helpless gasp as he presses the head of his dick into you.

"Fuck," he hisses, "'Been thinking about this since the last time I’ve got to fuck you."

He pushes himself in slowly, the stretch of his girth still giving you a stinging sensation, even though his fingers were already trying to prepare you earlier. You can hear your own desperate whines bouncing off the walls of his bedroom, and as he grabs both of your legs to throw them over his shoulder to bottom out completely, a high-pitched moan escapes your throat.

"Fuck, y’feel so good, 'Gumi," you whine, "S-so big, stretching me out so well."

"You’re still so fucking tight," Megumi huffs, kissing your ankles while his hands grab onto your legs for support, "I won’t last long if you’re squeezing me like that, fuck."

All you could hear was the sound of his wet skin, coated in your juices, slapping against your ass, while he pushed into you, increasing his pace with every thrust, fucking you senseless. There was nothing there to muffle the lewd moans that left your lips and you were so fucked out that you didn’t care about his neighbors anymore, you weren’t even able to hold back your sounds.

He hit your cervix a few times in a row, causing you to see stars and desperately search for anything to hold on to. Those whimpers and whines that fell from your lips were in sync with his thrusts, and soon you were nothing but a crying mess beneath him.

"F-fuck, M-megumi," you sob, trying to catch your breath, your fingers digging into the sheets, "S-slow down, it’s too—nnghh."

"Slow down?", a low groan escapes him as he rolls his hips into yours at a steady pace, "already got lost in this pussy, you better hold on tight." You look up at him, your eyebrows drawn together, and you see sweat trickling down his temples.

"Oh god," you moan out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, while he fills you all the way up with every snap of his hips against yours. You feel like losing your mind for the second time tonight, your walls clenching and throbbing around him, sucking him in so deep that you’re wondering how he’s even able to thrust in and out of you at that pace.

"Shit," Megumi curses, and you’re so close that you nearly cum again with one harsh brush of his pelvis against your swollen clit. He had already fucked you dumb, tears stinging in your eyes and when he leaned down, pushing your legs up to your chest, you knew that he was close too. The feeling of your pussy clenching around him made him falter and he had to support himself by clutching onto the headboard, to not completely crush you while leaning onto your body.

You can feel how your walls tighten around his length and hearing his low, breathy moans against your ear made your second orgasm approach embarrassingly fast. Megumi notices how you grab tighter onto the sheets, so he moves the angle of his hips just a bit to hit your sweet spot and it immediately does it’s magic, you’re left sobbing when you feel the knot in your stomach tightening.

"You gonna cum with me, baby?", Megumi pants and while you’re unable to form any logical sentence, all you’re able to reply is a drawn-out moan as he pushes you over the edge a second time tonight. You feel his thrusts getting sloppier with every stroke while your second high washes over you and then he practically collapses on top of your body. His body is trembling as he releases thick ropes of his load deep into your abused pussy, and you hold him while he curses and whines 'Fuck, you feel so good' and 'Shit, I was so afraid I lost you for good this time'

and also 'I love you so much'.

He almost crushes you with his weight as he leans down and presses his lips to yours, drowning in that afterglow. You're too exhausted to say anything, so you’re just stroking his back soothingly, listening to your heart beating in sync, while you’re coming down from your high.

After a while he slides off you, not without planting another kiss on your temple, and grabs the blanket at the foot of his bed to pull it over you both, his body pressed up against yours behind you, one arm draped over your waist. You both lie in silence for a while, just enjoying each others warmth.

"I didn’t hesitate because I missed you so much I couldn’t even think straight," you mumble, answering the question he asked you in the car earlier.

"The moment you left the room, I knew I wouldn't see you again for a while."

"You do this every time, do you know that?", you swallow when you feel him pulling you in against his chest, "You treat me like shit, then we make up and you say you’ll stay, and then you're gone."

"Y/n…" You hear his raspy voice against your hair.

"No, we have to work on this," you insist and turn around to face him, your hand placed flat against his bare chest, "I don’t wanna lose you." Your voice sounded brittle, almost fragile.

Megumi sits up again, resting his back against the headboard, while you stay in your position, scooting over to him a little bit to lean your head against his side. "I promise you we’ll work this out, y/n." You were naive enough that this was sufficient for you. After all, you had no other choice but to rely on his words.

You climb out of his bed to put on your t-shirt and search for your underwear until you remember what happened to it. How convenient that you left some clothes at his place a while ago, so you go over to his wardrobe to find something suitable. You cringe a little at the sight of the white thong embroidered with the words 'Lucky You'.

You bought it when you were like eighteen and you have to chuckle while putting it on. Well, you weren’t so wrong back then.

Megumi looks up after hearing you giggle and you throw him a pair of grey sweatpants and his black hoodie, which he puts on, but not without taking another look at you.

"Mhmm—guess I am," he rasps, lifting the covers to motion for you to come back to him, "Come here."

You grab your phone and walk over to him, cuddling up to his warm body while turning your phone back on. You wanted to know what time it was, and you remembered turning it off earlier when Maki tried to call you.

Your phone screen turns white before you see your lock screen, a picture of you, Maki and Nobara, and as soon as it gets a signal, several notifications pop up all at once. You had about six missed calls from Maki and Yuta, even Shoko had texted you and right at the bottom of the screen were three messages from Choso.

'Are you with him?'

'Text me if you’re alright'

'I swear to god, y/n, if he hurts you, I’m gon…'

You weren’t fast enough to hide the texts from Megumi.

I can’t be your second best Close but not your favorite I keep going back for more Where there’s nothing from before

#Megumi Fushiguro #Megumi x reader #megumi smut #Jjk smut #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro smut #megumi fushiguro smut #dark megumi #dark megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi x you #megumi fic #sh0ek0 #megumi angst

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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 months

Text

Buck & Eddie: Chris was looking for his dad.

In season 6, both Chris and Denny were looking for their dads.

Full Disclosure: Before I delve into this parallel, I have to admit that I ABSOLUTELY LOATHED the way the Hen, Karen, Denny and Nathaniel storyline was handled and I mentioned it several times in my Season 6 -Constructive Criticisms posts (main one about stereotypes linked here). I don't believe the show did a good job of capturing most of the things they attempted to illustrate for the audience throughout the season but it's over now and there's nothing that can be done about it. Thankfully, TM is back as the ONLY SHOWRUNNER FOR SEASON 7 so he can fix the mess that was made by KR for seasons 5 & 6.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Over the seasons, I've found many instances where Buddie and Henren were paralleled and so were their sons, Chris and Denny. They're friends and they have been for years just like Eddie and Karen (post linked here) but they're barely shown together anymore. Was it on purpose, maybe but they along with Harry were the youngest of the 118's children until Jee-Yun was born in season 4.

IIRC, the last time Chris and Denny were shown talking to each other was in 5x10 when Hen arrived with Denny and he ran over to talk to Chris.

In season 6, they weren't shown together at all but their lives were paralleled A LOT with regards to their dads!

Reminder, Eddie calls himself Chris' father when he talks to Buck about Chris (post linked here). Even though I completed a post about the way Chris was looking for Buck in 6x11 during Buck's coma dream (linked here), I didn't notice the parallels between Chris and Denny that I'm including in this post until recently but they've been there hiding in plain sight. I think I missed them before because their scenes happened in different episodes starting in 6A and they continued through 6B.

In 6x9, Denny went off on his bike looking for his dad but he didn't tell Hen or Karen where he was going. When he arrived and Nathaniel opened the door, Denny introduced himself and said, "I think you're my dad."

Reminder, for his birthday, he asked Hen and Karen if they had any information about his birth parents and they gave him a folder. Later in the episode, he overheard Hen talking to Chimney on the phone after Eddie and Buck dropped off their four-way call and he started looking for him.

Fast forward to 6x11 and Chris was looking for his "dad" (Buck), not his father (Eddie) in Buck's coma dream. He asked Buck, "Can you help me find my dad?" but Buck told him he wasn't real which means he didn't believe Chris is already his son too even though he's been coparenting him with Eddie for six years.

Reminder, Chris already knew where Eddie was but he asked Buck to help him find his dad because Chris is the son Buck's been searching for since 3x1 - 3x3.

Both Buck and Nathaniel were in the hospital in season 6 and Chris and Denny were both upset by it. In 6x11, Chris insisted Carla take him to the hospital so he could see Buck and in 6x13, Denny and Nathaniel were in a car accident but Hen and Karen didn't know Denny had been spending time with him. Denny got upset and stopped talking to Hen and Karen because he thought they didn't care about the fact that Nathaniel might die.

In 6x10 Buck did die but Nathaniel didn't in 6x13. Chris asked Buck to come back and he did but Hen and Karen went to see Nathaniel in the hospital after Toni had a conversation with them.

The scenes above are similar for two reasons. First, they both happened in 6x13 and second both Denny and Chris were spending time ALONE with their dads. The difference is Eddie KNEW Chris was with Buck and I always wondered why he just dropped Chris off and dipped so they could bake cookies for Chris' whole class (post linked here) but it wasn't the first time he did it (and it won't be the last). The first time was in 3x1 before the Tsunami.

In the scenes below, Chris asked Buck, "Can you help me find my dad?" but after Denny knocked on Nathaniel's door and he opened it, Denny said, "I think you're my dad."

Why is this important?

It's important because Chris has always considered Buck to be his second dad/parent while Denny was looking for his dad. Buck is the one who hasn't realized he already has a son even though Nathaniel did. Reminder, Eva told Nathaniel about Denny and she showed up with him in 2x5 even though she lied to Hen and said she didn't know who his father was.

Also, Nathaniel made an agreement with Hen and Karen that he would follow their lead. He broke the agreement, they didn't.

Eddie put Buck in his will and named him to be Chris' legal guardian but he waited a whole year to tell him about it. One major difference between Buck and Nathaniel is Buck WAS ALREADY COPARENTING CHRIS WITH EDDIE! But Nathaniel was not in the picture and he hid the relationship he wanted to have with his son from Denny's mothers.

Let's be real for a minute because KR did a horrible job of making sure these parallels got recognized and it might have something to do with the fact that there was so much BS included in season 6 that it made everything EXTRA messy. From the sperm donor storyline; to interim captain to Buck wanting to be happy, Hen working towards completing medical school, AA sponsors that were created out of thin air, dating storylines that came out of nowhere, characters acting out of character... just everything overlapped and it was too difficult to determine what they were trying to do.

Will things finally be better in season 7? I hope so but only time will tell.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #henren #karen wilson #hen wilson #denny wilson #911 season 6 speculation #911 season 6 #911 season 7 speculation #911 abc #911 on abc #911 meta #911 speculation

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unreliablesnake · 1 year

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Animals – part 3 (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: Ghost's obsessive behavior towards you takes a dangerous turn and you ask for Soap's help to handle it.

Notes: This was painful to write because Ghost is a cinnamon roll. I deliberately ended this with a cliffhanger. There's one more part left. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

part 1 / part 2 // part 4

Warnings: afab!reader, toxic!Ghost, dark!Ghost, attempted rape, harassment

“Stop running away from me.”

You looked up at Ghost, trying to figure out from the look in his eyes what the hell he could mean by that. A part of you knew, of course, but you still hoped you were wrong. It was just the two of you in the room he had pulled you in at the base, and your heart was beating fast from fear.

“Why do you look so scared?” He grabbed your chin and made you look up at him. “I just want you to stop running. You need to understand that you belong to me.”

“I don’t belong to you, why would I? Because I slept with you once?” you asked then gulped loudly as you tried to step away from him.

But Ghost was bigger and stronger than you, if he wanted you to stay so close to him, there was nothing you could do to stop him. His free hand moved to your waist, long fingers capturing your flesh like a set of claws. He didn’t say anything and this heavy silence was killing you.

Suddenly he leaned down to be really close to you, so close that you could feel his warm breath on your cheeks. “I know you, that look you have in your eyes every time I talk to you gives away your feelings. You want me just as badly as–”

“You don’t know shit.”

“Admit that you want me.”

“Ghost, let me go,” you tried with tears forming in your eyes.

He shook his head then his lips captured yours in a messy kiss. He was holding you so tightly that it was impossible to push him away, there was no way out. For now you decided to try and calm down, secretly hoping someone would come looking for you.

But no one was coming.

By the time Ghost’s hand moved under your jeans, you were already giving up all hope. You tried to convince him to stop, but hearing you beg only made him more determined to get what he wanted from you. Minutes that felt like hours passed before you finally heard a knock on the door.

“Not a word,” he warned you quietly with a hand over your mouth.

“Lt., someone saw you come in here. Why the fuck did you lock the door?” asked Soap, sounding annoyed with his superior. But Ghost didn’t respond, instead he was watching you with a serious look on his face. “Come on, Price wants to see you.”

He let out a groan at this, knowing full well he had to go now. “You stay here for another five minutes before coming out. And don’t you dare talk about what just happened here,” he ordered, waiting for you to nod in acknowledgement.

What were you supposed to do? Ghost was your higher up, and it was a well-known fact within the 141 that he didn’t like you. Everyone would believe you were trying to get your revenge on him with your accusations. So you nodded obediently, watching as the corners of his lips curled into a malicious smile.

“Good girl.” He then kissed you one last time, the moment he bit on your lower lip drawing an almost animalistic growl out of him.

When he finally left, you leaned against the door then slowly slid down to the floor, hugging your knees. Your heart was beating so fast that you thought it would jump out of your chest. It was clear as day that Ghost wouldn't have stopped if Soap didn't show up all of a sudden.

Without thinking about what you were doing, you glanced at your watch and checked the time. Four minutes. He told you to wait five, one minute had already passed, so you only had to wait for four more before leaving the room.

You couldn't stop crying. You tried everything, from taking big, even breaths to counting to ten, but nothing worked. Something was seriously wrong with Ghost, and that last time you met at the bar didn't seem like a coincidence anymore. Could it really be that he moved to the same city you lived in by accident?

No. He definitely knew what he was doing.

Before you could get lost in a spiral that would have only drained you even more emotionally, you stood up, wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your shirt, then walked out of the room. The mission was over, you were only waiting for Price's debrief before finally going home. You were quite sure that's what the captain wanted to talk to Ghost about.

“Wait, wait, wait!” you heard a familiar voice from behind you. It was Soap, jogging up to you with a wide smile on his face. "Are you coming to the debrief?" He sounded excited, but the moment he saw you from up close, his smile disappeared. “Were you crying?”

“Don’t you dare talk about what just happened here,” you remembered Ghost's words.

So instead of talking you just wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face into his shoulder. Even though he had no idea what was wrong with you, he still put his hands on your back and soothed you by rubbing your skin along your spine.

“I don't know what happened, but if you want to talk, I'm here, okay?” he told you kindly.

“Thank you.” And this is when you had an idea. If Ghost was now where you lived, all you had to do was go somewhere else until the next mission. “Actually, there's something I'd like to ask you. A favor. A big favor,” you said as you stepped back a bit.

“What would that be?”

You proposed your idea, the plan to go to Scotland with him in secret, using his place to hide from a guy who's been harassing you. His first reaction was an offer to find and beat up that asshole, but you quickly dismissed the idea by saying you didn't want any trouble. Soap agreed to your plan, even being happy to have some company.

He decided to stay near you for the rest of your time at the base, hell-bent on cheering you up by cracking jokes all the time. Even during the debrief he kept whispering them to you, always smiling proudly when he saw you bite on your lip to stop yourself from laughing loudly.

But your good mood kept disappearing over and over again, because you could feel Ghost staring at you from the back row where he took a seat. You knew he was mad at you for suddenly being so close to Soap, but you couldn't care about whether or not there would be consequences.

Luckily, he didn't do anything, barely even looked at you.

Two weeks passed in peace, you got to know the place Soap called home, and the two of you grew closer than you'd ever been. He was your new big brother, someone you could rely on no matter what your problem was. Cramps? He got you, he had learned from his sister what to do to help with that. You had nightmares? He was there to hug you and stayed with you until the morning to make sure you felt safe.

Unknown: Where the fuck are you?

Your blood pressure went off the roof after seeing this message when you finally turned on your phone. You knew it was Ghost, it couldn’t be anyone else. Soap saw the look of horror in your eyes and quickly rushed over to see if he could support you in any way.

“You got a message?” he asked, already taking the device from your hand. “Let me see.”

Unknown: Your neighbours said they haven’t seen you in months. Where the fuck are you???

Soap wrapped an arm around you as he pulled you close. “You should go to the police, this is not a joke.”

Unknown: You’ve gotta tell me sooner or later, sweetheart.

Unknown: If I’m right

Unknown: Fuck it, I’m sure I’m right. Just admit it. You’re with him, aren’t you? I can see you’re in Scotland and I know that address.

“It’s someone we both know,” Soap stated, this piece of information now sending him into a mental race to figure out who it could be.

You nodded as you looked down at the phone that was now ringing. He wasn’t just sending messages. He wanted to talk to you. God damn it. After giving your friend an apologetic look, you went to the back garden and carefully closed the door after yourself.

“What?” you asked the very moment you answered the call.

“The fuck are you doing there, you slut?” His voice was dripping venom as he talked. Just being here and ignoring him was enough to enrage him this much, you couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to meet him again. “What is it? You push me away and let Johnny fuck you instead? What does he have that I don’t, huh?”

You inhaled and exhaled slowly. You could do this. “Sanity,” you replied, deliberately not correcting his assumption that you were sleeping with his friend.

“What’s with that sudden confidence? Just give me one chance again and I’ll fuck this confidence out of you. I already did that the first time, didn’t I? And you enjoyed that, don’t even try to deny it.”

“I’ll call Price and tell him everything,” you threatened him. “They’ll throw you out and trust me, this will be the least of your problems.”

“You have a big mouth now, love, but come home and let's see if you can still talk to me like that face to face.”

He was right. It was easy to talk to him like this on the phone, but if he was standing there in front of you, all of your instincts would tell you to run as fast as you could. “Fuck you, Ghost,” you said in the end before ending the call.

You turned around to go back, but instead bumped into Soap who was standing right behind you. “Jesus, so it's the Lt.?” You nodded, a part of you relieved that now there was another person who knew your secret. “When did this begin?”

It was hard to tell because you didn’t know what signs to look for. “Honestly, things took a sharp turn during this last mission. Remember when you came for him before the debrief? I was in that room with him and he almost raped me. And he coincidentally moved to the very city where I live.”

“Wait, he left Manchester?”

“Yeah.” Looking down at your phone, deliberately avoiding his blue eyes, you thought about the past events. This is when you remembered something. “Fuck,” you muttered as you turned off your phone.

“What?”

“There was this one time when I ran into him in a bar back home,” you began to explain as you shook your head. “I think he knew exactly where I was that night. Just like he knew I was here in Scotland.”

That’s when Soap caught up with you. “He’s tracking your phone.”

A few days later Soap had an idea. He drove you far from his home, straight to a small inn in the middle of nowhere. He wanted you to turn on your phone there, giving the lieutenant a chance to see you were there, hopefully thinking you were hiding somewhere in case he went to Soap's place and didn't find you there. You were supposed to hide your phone somewhere in the inn, leaving it behind when you began your journey back to your home.

Your mood was terrible from the moment you turned on your phone. There were a lot of messages from Ghost, most of them full of anger, hate, and madness. He called you names for allegedly sleeping with Soap, pissed off that you chose the sergeant over him.

A day later you were back in your apartment, and while you hid there, Soap did some grocery shopping and even got you a new phone. He kept telling you to go to the military or the police, maybe both, asking for their help. Hell, he even wanted to call Price to ask him what he had to say about this.

“Fine, let's call the captain,” you eventually agreed after seeing several threatening messages on your social media accounts. This was getting out of hand, you needed all the help you could get.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #modern warfare #mw2 #modern warfare ii #call of duty

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charlewiss · 2 years

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one-word november prompts!

so I decided I wanted to write a lil something every day for the whole month. don't know if i'll be able to make it to the end but it'll be a fun to try!

masterlist

| 1. hoodie

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: why seeing you wearing his clothes made his heart race like that? why you couldn't stop smiling after realising it smelled like him?

| 2. secret

pairing: arthur leclerc x gasly!reader

summary: "did you know that your brother was dating my sister?"

| 3. rain

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: the rain had caught you unprepared. luckily, he lived close.

| 4. social

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: he was a social butterfly and you were quite the opposite. how do you manage to sort it out?

| 5. reunion

pairing: mick schumacher x vettel!reader

summary: it's been 5 years since you had seen mick. what changed? what stayed the same?

| 6. tourist

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

summary: seeing australia through his eyes was something else.

| 7. sunrise

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: he needed to take his mind off the silly season. you couldn't sleep.

| 8. hide

pairing: charles leclerc x gasly!reader

summary: charles and you were seeing eachother for quite some time, but still couldn't quite figure out how to tell your brother, pierre. (and maybe you don't need to)

| 9. airport

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: trying to get home was never more difficult. maybe it was for a reason after all.

| 10. weight

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

summary: the season has been too tough on your boyfriend. you decide it's time to take some weight off him.

inspired by know you (708) by with confidence.

| 11. dream

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: you've been avoiding him since your dream two nights ago. he isn't happy about it.

| 12. special

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: he's been dying to show you how special you could feel with him by your side. if only you would stop dating idiots that waste your time, he thought.

| 13. necklace

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: little taylor swift reference. he can't stop thinking about you wearing his initial on a chain around your neck.

| 14. nephew

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: george had been begging you to meet his nephews, but you had plenty of doubts: what if they didn't like you?

| 15. win

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: first win for the prettiest boy. you've been there since day 0.

| 16. midnight

pairing: pierre gasly

summary: kiss me on new year's eve as the timer counts down and the clock hits 12 (inspired by this post)

| 17. pet

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: your boyfriend is a known dog person, and you love angie very dearly. but you met a little tiny friend and you just can't avoid the little kitten.

| 18. sober

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: after a night out with pierre, he pleads: 'please, can you repeat it when I'm sober? I want to remember it'

| 19. wonder

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: being the hopeless romantic that you are, you've been dreaming about your special other your whole life. you're talking to your best friend pierre about the dream guy. what if you already knew him?

| 20. jealousy

pairing: arthur leclerc x reader

summary: he had always been second best to everyone but you.

| 21. score

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: the four times he made you flustered and the one time you hit him back.

| 22. eyes

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: you had never seen such pretty eyes before.

| 23. closer

pairing: charles leclerc x reader (forced proximity)

summary: you were scared of elevators. perfect timing when you two got trapped in one.

| 24. question

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: too many unanswered questions and one drink too many

| 25. sick

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: he's feeling sick, so you take care of him.

| 26. promise

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: some promises are made. some are broken. for the worst or for the better?

| 27. camera

pairing: felipe drugovich x reader

summary: he liked to take pictures before as a side hobbie apart from racing. but now that he found his muse, he's been hiding more often behind the lense.

| 28. rings

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: young and in love. why would u wait any longer?

inspired by paper rings by taylor swift

| 29. interview

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reporter!reader

summary: he didn't want to be disrespectful, but he could stop looking at you.

| 30. surprise

pairing: george russell x reader

summary: it was his birthday and you couldn't be there. or could you?

#f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #f1 blurb #f1 one shot #f1 x yn #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #one-word november prompts #charlewiss challenge

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epicbuddieficrecs · 6 months

Text

Weekly Recap | November 6th-12th 2023

Still struggling with putting these out on Mondays! (Also, I don't know if you've realized this by now, but when I discover an author, I sometimes go wild on their ao3 page so.... yep that's a thing that happened 😆 )

Complete

Got Weird by Daisies_and_Briars (Getting Together, Post-S6 | 10K | Explicit): Shortly after Buck and Natalia break up, Eddie gets tipsy and makes a rather forward move. Then immediately panics (not that Eddie panics, of course) and backpedals. Eddie spirals, Buck is confused. Lots of spontaneous kissing ensues.

next to your heartbeat (where i should be) by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): “You always look at Buck like that.” Eddie swallows. “Like what?” “The same way you look at me,” Christopher says and flips to the next photo like it’s nothing.

you showed up just in time by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Post S5E6: Brawl In Cell Block 9-1-1 | 1,4K | General): can i come over, typed out quickly and sent before he has time to overthink it. Eddie texts back almost immediately. No. A key turns in his door and Eddie walks in, Christopher in tow.

calling out for somebody to hold tonight by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Eddie Coming Out | 3K | Teen): “Everything okay?” the bartender asks. “I’m in love with my best friend,” Eddie admits, just for the novelty of saying it out loud. The bartender winces in sympathy. “And you don’t think—” “Oh, never,” Eddie says, with a laugh that sounds hollow even to his own ears. “Can I get another tequila?”

never know what you might find (when dreams come true) by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): “Fuck, it’s so stupid,” Eddie says. “It’s embarrassing. I mean, I had one dream about the guy—okay, two dreams, whatever—and now I’m, fucking, tripping over my own feet and knocking things over, and like, my pulse is racing and my mouth goes all dry and—” “And you’re sure you’re not attracted to him?” Frank asks.

(yesterday my life was duller) now everything is technicolour by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Established Buddie | 1,4K | General): "Eddie," he says. "I love you, but did you really have to make your move five minutes before we started a twenty-four-hour shift?" "Sorry," Eddie says. "Next time, I'll make sure to plan my spontaneous, blurted-out love confession a little better."

cuffing season by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): “Hen and Chimney think we won’t be able to make it twenty-four hours handcuffed together,” Eddie says. “Oh, we so could,” Buck says.

all for one and one for always by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 1,8K | General): "Why am I here, anyway?" Buck asks, looking around at all of the parents and teachers milling around the foyer of Christoper's school. "I mean, you know I don't mind, but you made it sound really—" He's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice, somewhere on Eddie's other side. "Mr Diaz, there you are! And this must be the husband." Buck whirls to look at Eddie, because—if Eddie has a husband, this is the first he's hearing of it.

maybe even true by withoutthetiger/ @rewritetheending (Getting Together, Season 4 | 2K | Explicit): An argument between Buck and Eddie turns into something more.

I Could Never Forget You, Not Really by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Amnesia | 3K | General): An accident at work leaves Buck injured, and when he comes to, he doesn't remember anyone, at least, not until his best friend walks in.

the one where they met because of chris by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Different First Meeting AU | 10K | General): the one where Chris meets Buck first, inevitably bringing his two dads together.

You Could Be The One I Keep by browney3dgirl6 / @hoodie-buck (Didn't Know They Were Dating | 6K | Teen): The one where Eddie thinks they're in a relationship, Buck oblivious to the entire thing.

if I asked you to stay, would you? by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Different First Meeting, Tsunami | 6K | Teen): “Sir, are you ok? Can you tell me your name?” What was with the formalities? “Buck. Evan Buckley of the 118. And uh, I’m fine.” Buck gestured to the air around him, sighing aloud, as he gave the guy a smug wink. “Just a little wet is all.”

I want to love you (but I don't know how) by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Post S5E10: Wrapped In Red | 11K | Explicit): Buck buys him and Eddie touch bracelets, not wanting either of them to feel disconnected after Eddie leaves. They help, but the real thing is still better.

Out Of Order, Still In Line by callmenewbie/ @callmenewbie (S6E07: Cursed, PWP | 6K | Explicit): When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue.

baby, how'd we end up here? by withmeornotatall (Safe Haven Baby | 15K | Teen): the safe haven baby fic where buck falls in love and eddie asks him out on a date - not necessarily in that order

the fool and the lover by withmeornotatall (S6, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): buck breaks down, eddie is there, and psychics are real actually

You're making my head hurt. by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Getting Together | 1K | Not Rated): Eddie's really tired and accidentally confesses his love for Buck.

You love this, don't you? by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Getting Together | 3K | Mature): Clipboard Buck makes a reappearance, and Eddie's forced to confront his feelings.

All I need is to call you home by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post S5E6: Brawl In Cell Block 9-1-1 | 2K | General): After being held hostage and threatened, Buck can't stop worrying about Eddie and Chris. And so he finds himself in front of Eddie's house at three in the morning.

I could get lost in the feelings (just say that you belong to me) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (PWP, Getting Together | 15K | Explicit): Or, Buck's going on a date, Eddie's so jealous he finally snaps and reveals his feelings, which leads to a passionate evening in Buck's kitchen.

me and you only equals love by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-Poker Date | 6K | Explicit): Eddie is horny and in love, and after the poker date, he finally kisses Buck - and things unfold from there.

I'd marry you with paper rings by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Marriage Proposal | 3K | General): “If we’re not married by the time we’re, like, forty, we should just marry each other.” he chuckles, and downs the rest of his beer. And Eddie… Eddie knows it’s a joke. Obviously. It can’t be anything but. But still, it does something to him. “Why wait? Let’s just do it now and get it over with.”

There’s no way that it’s not going there (with the way that we’re looking at each other) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Getting Together | 6K | Not Rated): 5 times people wrongly assume Buck and Eddie are together + 1 time it's actually true.

I can't love you any more (than I do now) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

i'd swim to your call on my phone by heartbeatdiaz / @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck, Dispatcher Eddie | 8K | Teen): Buck's daughter keeps calling 9-1-1 for help with her homework, Eddie is smitten and apparently 9-1-1 works better than Tinder.

i have dreams where i kiss you and it’s pink by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Getting Together | 6K | Teen): or, jee-yun buckley-han's third birthday party is in dire need of some fairy tale magic and buck's attempt to save the day might just be the thing that finally kills eddie

his hand in the dark by hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 5K | Teen): in which eddie has a beer, dances with a stranger, and does some borderline indecent things in the street with the love of his life.

WIP

in my head by yourcatfishfriend/ @your-catfish-friend (Friends With Benefits | 5/8 | 17K | Explicit): Buck is confidently bisexual. Eddie isn't sure. Buck helps him figure it out.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 98/? | 257K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Re-Read

please? (can't say no) by withmeornotatall (S5, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): chris eavesdrops and misunderstands, buck mediates and overthinks, eddie tries desperately to communicate even as he's foiled at every turn

not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) by withmeornotatall (Post-S6 | 6K | General): buck and natalia break up, eddie decides to introduce his girlfriend to his son, christopher knows way too much, and the 118's wine night has never been quite so eventful

I Haven't Found A Better Title For This Than "Read This In The Six Months Before I Made This Blog And It Somehow Made Its Way To My History Now So I'm Reccing It Post-Facto"

🔥 the light's been out though, baby by hattalove/ @hattalove (Post S5E6: Brawl In Cell Block 9-1-1 | 15K | Mature): or, six months after the near-fatal shooting of a member of the LAFD, footage of the incident surfaces on social media.

everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths/ @henswilsons (Post-S5E10: Wrapped In Red, LAFD Liaison Eddie | 4K | Teen): or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive. (Part 1 of Mr LAFD Updates Man)

in you, darling, i trust by hammersmiths (LAFD Liaison Eddie 10K | Teen): or, five times someone recognises Eddie as the LAFD Updates man. (Part 2 of Mr LAFD Updates Man)

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #epic buddie fic rec

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bylerschmyler · 1 year

Text

Mike - Vecna's 4th victim

I know that many people believe that Mike was a tool for Vecna to get Will and El back or that he waited for Mike to be gone to California. I have a pretty different perspective on this and I want to share my thoughts about this. I just gonna warn you that this post will be quite long but I would appreciate it if you take your time to read it.

For the tool-theory and waiting to be gone-theory I have two simple reasons why I don't think that they are correct.

When Vecna kills Chrissy Mike is still in Hawkins. He doesn't wait for Mike to be gone/sitting in the car/plane and traveling to California. Vecna kills her mere hours before Mike had no possibility to interfere with him. It's not only that Vecna kills Chrissy, no he kills her in close proximity to Max who could have been more suspicious about Eddie, Chrissy and the lights and could have called a CODE RED, which would have led to Mike not going to California. So if he wanted Mike to go to California (either for him to be gone or to get El/Will back) why would he jeopardize this mission by being too impatient?

If Vecna wanted Mike out of the way why didn't he just kill him? I mean we can all agree that pre S4 Mike already has a massive amount of trauma. So if he needs Mike out of the way he could have just cursed him too, couldn't he? There was nobody to stop him from doing it. El? Out of the picture. No powers and too far away. Mike? Wouldn't be able to help himself during a trance. The Party? If they don't know what is coming, how would they prevent it?

So I think Mike wasn't a tool for Vecna. He was a perfect fit for a far more important role.

He was the Chosen one, the fourth, the final sacrifice.

But before we are going to discuss Mike's role in Vecna's plan in detail, let's take a step back and take a look in the things that actually happened in S4.

Specifically everything that has to do with Patrick and his curse. Because there are so many things wrong with Patricks curse.

First of all Patrick doesn't fit the other victims. Timing wise as well as in his trauma and our connection to him and his connection to other characters on the show.

Timing

Patrick is the only victim that we see getting cursed. This happens on the March 23rd (sunday) at some point during the day (morning or noon I guess). (here the scene where he gets cursed)

This is in direct contrast to the timeline which is presented by Max. For further explanation this is also March 23rd but late in the evening.

So let me get this straight.

Chrissy's curse started a week ago (approximately week = seven days. I made this post where I found a specific date when Chrissy's symptoms started and they are not adding up. But I think it's because it's meant to be not the curse itself that's coursing these symptoms but something else which I will talk about in another post)

Fred's started six days ago

Max's five days ago

And Patrick just that morning (basically one day ago)?

In no way this is supposed to happen. What was the reason? Did Vecna forget to curse Patrick four days ago? Or couldn't he decide who to curse 4 days prior?

Well the most logical reason (imo) is that his actual target can't be targeted. And we do know one character who was in Hawkins and left during the season. And that's Mike. But this is not the only reason Patricks timing is off.

With Patrick being cursed there is a change in the way the curse works for Max and him in comparison to Fred and Chrissy. I won't go too much in to the details but here are some observations.

Chrissy and Fred both have 3 visions that are heavily paralleling each other.

Their 1. vision is related to the people around them. Chrissy thinks that Max is still in the room when the pounding on the bathroom stall starts. Then she hears her mothers voice and Vecna's feed come into vision. Her mothers voice get distorted soon after and Vecna's voice fades in.

Freds first vision is also directly connected to a conversations he is having with Officer Daniels. Daniels also fades in to Vecna. His face and his voice.

The second vision is the grandfather clock. But a very creepy version.

With Chrissy it's spiders with Fred it's people turning into Vecna calling him murderer.

The third vision is there death and relieving their nightmare.

Both die on the end of their 5th day of being cursed. Their visions start during the day and the day ends with their death.

In contrast to this Max curse is put off this timing. Max visions start on the end of her 5th day of being cursed and she has 3 visions with different themes than Fred and Chrissy.

Max's 1. vision is the grandfather clock. But it's only the creepy grandfather clock. No spiders and no link to Max's trauma.

Her 2nd vision is like Fred’s and Chrissy’s 1st vision a person who fades into Vecna.

her 3rd vision is supposed to be her death which she can escape from.

She has a 4th vision where she actually dies.

Patrick only has one vision we see and one that is implied but we don’t see at all. His first vision is the clock during Chrissy’s funeral.

the other would have been when he dies but we don’t see the vision.

Timing wise this implicates the scenario that Patricks’s cursing throws the timeline off schedule because we see a clear pattern before he was cursed which is thrown off the second Vecna targets him. So likely the original schedule would have targeted Max on the 23rd and the 4th victim on the 24th.

Lack of imagery and missing build up

His trauma, connection to other characters and the connection we build to him is also off. While most of it is due to the lack of imagery regarding him but also to the fact that we have a build up in this topics that Patrick is reversing.

I don’t really want to order the trauma of Vecna’s victims in terms of severity because I firmly believe that any trauma should be addressed and recognised and you shouldn’t compare trauma (unless you’re a therapist) because this kind of invalidates the people with “less severe” trauma. But when we talk about Patrick’s trauma we only have two clues about what it is because we don’t see visions that are related to his trauma. The first one is when he gets cursed (here). A man, likely his father, calls him a disgrace. Lucas also tells us that Patrick came to practice with a black eye once.

This implicates that Patrick is also a victim of domestic abuse (like Chrissy) What I find interesting is that this creates a circle of trauma themes.

(I want to emphasize that between Fred and Max there is a build up because Fred has survivors guilt and Max has survivors guilt but also wanted the person that died to die before he died. This is obviously meant for us to notice because it’s an addition to the same theme)

Ignoring the potential build up in the trauma and going into Patrick’s relationships we see that he doesn’t make sense as 4th victim narratively speaking. We have a clear build up in the victims relationships with other characters:

Chrissy has no known relationship to our main characters

Fred is Nancy’s colleague and apprentice (Fred asking Nancy how she did this with Jonathan). They are close enough (Nancy trusts him enough) to take him to the Trailer Park.

Max is a main character of the show. She has many close relationships to other main characters

And then Patrick comes around and he is just Lucas’ team mate who he can’t even trust because they are hunting for his friends.

The connections to other characters get closer and closer until Max only to go rapidly down with Patrick. Narratively this doesn’t make sense because Patrick is supposed to be the 4th victim. He should have close ties to our favorite characters and they should care deeply about him because of the needed rise in tension. They get around it with Max escaping the death vision and being the actual 4th victim but for the original plan this would have been very weird.

This also ties to the connection we as an audience have to the victims.

Chrissy is a new character. We only see her in one episode and we barely know anything about her. Most of what we know is that she is a cheerleader and she has trauma. Although many people sympathize with her we can’t really get connected to her.

Fred is basically the same. But we get more information about him. We know he is a journalist. We also know that he does know about Jonathan and Nancy and their struggles in their relationship (which he kind of wants to take a chance in because he flirts with Nancy). We have two episodes with him.

We have known Max since season 2. We had a lot of time to get to know her and create a bond with her.

And yet again Patrick doesn’t make sense. Why do we get a new character which we don’t like because he is part of the antagonists, after a (beloved) main character? There was a subtle build up and then we flunk down in the negatives with our perspective on the character.

I wanna add that in an recent reblog of a post i discussed Mike's parallels to the other victims. You can find the post here.

But how does Mike fit in?

Most people on here are well aware of all the hints that connect Mike with Vecna. Therefore many people believe he is a target in S5. I believe so too. I still don’t think that so much has changed during S4 that made him more targetable than he already was. Yes his trauma increased through the shootout, the death of unknown hero agent man, lying to El and losing Eddie and Max, but his trauma was there before. And it was severe enough to make him struggle. It’s pointed out in the canon extending book “Lucas on the line” and it is also shown in his behavior in S4 (getting up too late, used clothes, dirty room/basement, he doesn’t eat on camera, and more). So Mike would be a perfect target for Vecna only considering his trauma. But there is way more stuff that make Mike a perfect last puzzle piece in this situation. First of all he is one of the few characters that are in Hawkins when the curses begin and have more/deeper connections than Max. Yes Max has a lot of deep connections (the Party and El specifically) but Mike has those connections too and he has deeper connections to the teens (Nancy and Jonathan especially), Will, Joyce and Hopper. So in a certain way he is more connected to the rest of the cast and would be perfect to be the final step of the build up we see with character relationships. He has also been part of the show since S1 and was one of THE main characters in S1 and S2. He has a very important role in figuring out important plot points and so for us he is obviously a very important character. And so while I don’t play favorites he is slightly more important for the audience (subjectively speaking). Timing wise (as I said before) he is the only character we know to travel out of Hawkins during the cursing. Him being cursed on March 20th (thursday) wouldn’t compromise the given timeline. It would also explain this scene where Mike clearly looks like he has a awful headache.

And this scene where Max has a nosebleed and the camera’s focus shifts to him

(some people believe that’s the moment he cursed Max. I doubt that. When Max explains the symptoms she said nosebleedS, plural [Insert Eddie’s comment on Nancy’s guns here].I believe that’s thursday morning and Mike was just cursed and had a nosebleed like Patrick and he looked like he looked because he found it suspicious that he had a nosebleed and now Max has a nosebleed.) Clearly two times where he was visibly shown in the context of the curses symptoms. Also his bedroom scene, when he reads Els' letter could connect to the symptoms (this is more of a reach than the other two).

Sleeping in underwear => He woke up an a cold sweat

The binder with Will’s drawings is in his room => having nightmares and needing comfort

(re-)reading the letter => having nightmares and needing reassurance that everything is okay

he is later than he usually is => trouble sleeping

Also I think @aemiron-main pointed that out: Mikes Reaction to Karen telling him that he need to be home by nine because it's an early flight suggests that he barely sleeps because he seems to not care of the early flight.

And last but not least the line Vecna uses for Max (You’ll be the chosen one, the fourth the final sacrifice) fits way better to Mike. Why? Well the main reason I only got on the Mike getting vecnaed’ train was while I was rewatching the show I saw this scene where El screams for Mike while she has a vision:

This scene reminded me of this scene where Will does the same:

And it made me think about how Vecna knows that both of his former targets heavily depend on Mike. He is the first they think about when needing help. He’s the first they find comfort in when upset. So Mike is obviously on Vecna’s radar. There is more…. These two scenes where Max and Mike help El and try to protect her and Billy sees it.

They stand out because it would make so much sense for Mike to be targeted too. Max does become a target because of her trauma but also because of her connection to El. So Mike would be a perfect target too. Him being the final sacrifice would be the peak of devastation for both Will and El and would make perfect sense for Vecna to do so. Also it would contrast Mike’s arc because he is usually the one interfering with Vecna’s plans in overtaking the real world. Mike being the last kill to open the gates to the UD would be very “poetic” from Vecna’s POV. Furthermore the line “You would be the chosen one” would be far more fitting for Mike. Mike is a fan of fantasy stories. The Chosen One Trope is a typical fantasy trope that has been used for ages. Mike can relate far more to this trope than Max (Max is a comic fan where this trope is used too, but Mike is pictured way more with classic fantasy where this trope is used very often).

But why did Vecna wait for Mike to go on vacation?

This is the only thing that really makes me struggle. Because I don’t have a good answer to this. The only possible explanation I see (without doubting the rest of this theory) is that Vecna didn’t look for his plans, his supposedly happy memories/thoughts and only took in the bad ones. Max tells us that she thinks Vecna only looks for the bad memories.

So if Max is right then Vecna didn’t look for the light in Mike’s mind and only for the darkness. (Therefore didn't see his hope of reconnecting to Will in Califronia) I also want to point out that Mike is not the only target Vecna needed. He needed four victims. So this is not solely about him. And you need to know that Vecna feeds off his victims fears, anxiety and guilt. So it makes sense for him to unleash his curse when all his victims are especially tense/anxious

Chrissy’s mother forced a beauty idea on her daughter that resulted in her being connected to bulimic tropes (Throwing up, rotten food). She is also a cheerleader in the 80s and she “needed to be pretty” because the championship games were coming up. So Chrissy would be more anxious than usually

Fred is less obvious than Chrissy. The only clues I got why he would be more anxious than usual are that Officer Daniels (Vecna Vision) tells us that the accident happened last year and he knows about Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship problems. The first could mean that the car crash happened somewhere in 1985 or it could actually mean that the anniversary is coming up which (knowing from S2) would affect Fred through the anniversary effect. The latter could make him anxious because he might see a chance with his crush (we see him multiple times openly flirting with Nancy)

Max would be more anxious because Billy’s birthday is coming up (March 29 - also anniversary effect)

Mike would be more anxious because he is traveling to California and he doesn’t know how Will feels about him and maybe he is a little jealous because of El’s letter and Will painting something for a girl

Additionaly the week before spring break could be full of tests which could make all victims more anxious.

Another good question regards the timing. Vecna did look for a replacement for Mike on March 23rd but Mike left early on March 22nd. So why did he wait an additional day for Mike? This is obviously a question I asked myself a lot. Why did Vecna wait for Mike to be gone for a whole day before looking for a replacement (Patrick)? Well this one is very hard to answer. But there is one scene in particular that makes me believe that Vecna starts his rampage usually early in the morning. You can take a look here in this post. I included the scenes right before and right after the scene on purpose because it gives us a better perspective on the timeline. So right before Vecna gets hooked up to the vines, El went to her bedroom crying. We know that this happened on the night of March 22nd. Then it cuts to the UD where Vecna gets hooked up but nothing happens afterwards. Instead we see how the sun rises/travels in the sky. Then it cuts to Lucas and the beginning of the hunt for Eddie. So what is the purpose of this whole scene? Vecna wanted to start the final stage of his curse (visions) for Max early on the 23rd. This is probably what he was doing with Chrissy and Fred the days before. He recognized that he couldn’t find Mike anywhere and then started to search for a replacement until he found Patrick. Very important for this theory, Vecna finds Patrick way later. There are almost 20 Minutes between this scene and the scene where Patrick gets cursed. Even more important: We see every group on screen before we get back to Vecna. There is literally a cut to every small group. First Lucas and the Jocks, then Max, Dustin, Robin and Steve with Eddie, then Nancy, the Cali Gang, Joyce and Murray, Hopper back to the Hawkins gang at the Trailer Park. I think Vecna didn’t recognize Mike’s absence because he was solely focused on Fred on the 22nd and started with Fred visions early in the morning before Mike got to the airport. So when he wanted to get started with Max the next day he realized that he couldn’t reach Mike anymore and decided to go for a replacement. That’s when the timings of the victims don’t add up anymore.

Besides everything I showed you here there is another theory that is connected to this. #possessiongate from @dinitride-art

This shows how my theory is supported visually in the show. It also explains why Mike isn't shown as cursed after the breakfast on the 23rd because his curse was shifted to Patrick.

#byler #mike wheeler #victimgate #mike gets vecna’d #mike getting vecna’d #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things analysis #st analysis #st theory #stranger things theory #mike wheeler analysis #vecna's curse

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ironwoman359 · 10 months

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i saw your tag about how in 500 years we WON'T be calling britney spears' "toxic" classical music, and i am willing and able to hear this rant if you so wish to expand upon it :3c

You know what, it's been over six months, so sure, why not, let's pick today to have this rant/lesson!

To establish my credentials for those unfamiliar Hi my name's Taylor I was a music teacher up until last year when the crushing realities of the American Education SystemTM led me to quit classroom work and become a library clerk instead. But said music teaching means that I have 4+ years of professional classical training in performance and education, and while I'm by no means a historian, I know my way around the history of (european) music.

So, now that you know that I'm not just some rando, but a musical rando, let me tell you why we won't be calling Britney Spears or [insert modern musician(s) that'd be especially humorous to today's audience to call classical] "classical music."

The simple answer is that "Old music =/= Classical music," which is usually the joke being made when you see this joke in the first place.

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As funny as this joke can be when executed well (this is one of my favorite versions of said joke, especially since this is a future world where there's very little accurate surviving info about the culture from the 21st century), there is VERY little likely of this actually being how music from today is referred to in the future, because, again, music being OLD does not automatically make music CLASSICAL.

If you'd indulge me a moment, have a look at these three pieces from the early 1900s, which is now over 100 years ago. That's pretty old! You don't have to listen to the whole of all of them if you don't want to, but give each around 30 seconds or so of listening.

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All three pieces are over 100 years old, but would you call "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree" classical? Or "The Entertainer?" Most likely not. You'd probably call these songs "old timey" and you may even be savvy enough to call "The Entertainer" by it's actual genre name, ragtime. But if either of these songs came on the radio, you wouldn't really call them classical, would you? They're just old.

Whereas Mahler's Symphony No. 5, now that sounds like classical music to you, doesn't it? It's got trumpets, violins, a conductor, it's being played by a philharmonic! That's a classical musicy word!

The short answer of why we in the real, nonfictional world won't be calling Britney Spears's "Toxic" classical music in 100 years is it simply doesn't sound like classical music.

.....and the long answer is that Mahler's Symphony No. 5 isn't actually classical either.

See, music, just like everything in culture from dress to art to architecture changed with the times, and therefore 'classical music' is technically (although not colloquially) only one of about four to five musical periods/styles you're likely to hear on one of those "classical music tunes to study to" playlists.

Our dear friend Mahler up there was not a classical composer, he was a composer of the late romantic era.

So now, because I have you hostage in my post (just kidding please don't scroll away I had a lot of fun writing this but it took me nearly 3 hours) I'm going to show you the difference between Classical music and the other musical eras.

These are the movements we'll be dealing with, along with the general dates that define them (remembering of course that history is complicated and the Baroque Period didn't magically begin on January 1st, 1600, or end the moment Bach died) :

The Baroque Period (1600-1750)

The Classical Period (1750-1820)

The Romantic Period (1820-1910)

The Impressionist Movement (1890-1920)

You'll notice that as time goes on, the periods themselves grow shorter, and there starts to become some overlap in the late 19th to early 20th century. The world was moving faster, changing faster, and music and art began changing faster as well. Around the beginning of the 20th century music historians quit assigning One Major style to an entire era of history and just started studying those movements themselves, especially since around the 20th century we were getting much more experimentation and unique ideas being explored in the mainstream.

Even the end of the classical to the beginning of the romantic period can get kind of fuzzy, with Beethoven, arguably one of the most famous classical (and yes he was actually classical) composers in history toeing the line between classical and romantic in his later years. The final movement of his 9th symphony, known as Ode to Joy, far more resembles a romantic work than a classical one.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

To oversimplify somewhat, here are the main characteristics of said movements:

The Baroque Period (1600-1750)

Music was very technical and heavily ornamented. This coincided with a very "fancy" style of dress and decoration (the rococo style became popular towards the latter half of this period). The orchestras were far smaller than we are used to seeing in concert halls today, and many instruments we consider essential would not have been present, such as the french horn, a substantial percussion section, or even the piano*. Notable composers include Vivaldi (of the Four Seasons fame), Handel (of the Messiah fame) and Bach:

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*the piano as we know it today, initially called the pianoforte due to its ability to play both softly (piano) and loudly (forte) in contrast to the harpsichord, which could only play at one dynamic level, was actually invented around 1700, but didn't initially gain popularity until much later. This Bach Concerto would have traditionally been played on a harpsichord rather than a piano, but the piano really does have such a far greater expressive ability that unless a group is going for Historical Accuracy, you'll usually see a piano used in performances of baroque work today.

The Classical Period (1750-1820)

In the classical period, music became more "ordered," not just metaphorically but literally. The music was carefully structured, phrases balanced evenly in a sort of call and response manner. Think of twinkle twinkle little star's extremely balanced phrasing, itself a tune that Mozart took and applied 12 classical variations to, cementing it in popularity. And speaking of twinkle twinkle, memorable melody became more important to the composition than ornamentation, and many of our most universally known melodies in the west come from this period. The orchestra also grew bigger, adding more players of all kinds as now we didn't have to worry about overpowering the single-volume harpsichord, and additional instruments like more brass and woodwinds were added. Notable composers include Haydn (of The Surprise Symphony fame) Beethoven (of, well, Fame), and Mozart:

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Pay attention to the size of the orchestra here, then go back to the Bach concerto. Notice how in that very typical Baroque setting, the orchestra sits at maybe 20 people, and that here in a Classical setting, there's nearly two times that!

The Romantic Period (1820-1910)

In the romantic period, it was all about BIG FEELINGS, MAN. It was about the DRAMA. Orchestras got even bigger than before, the music focused less on balance and became more dramatic, and there was a big focus on emotions, individualism, and nationalism. Discerning listeners will notice a lot of similarities between romantic symphonies and modern film scores; John Williams in particular is very clearly influenced by this era, any time I'd play the famous Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner in a class, the kids would remark that it sounds like it should be in Star Wars. A lot of romantic composers were German, including Beethoven, if you want to call his later works romantic (which I and many others argue you can, again, compare Ode to Joy to one of his earlier works and you can hear and see the difference), but you also have the Hungarian Liszt (of the Hungarian Rhapsodies fame), the Russian Tchaikovsky (of the Nutcracker and 1812 Overture fame), and the Czech Dvořák:

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See how this orchestra is even bigger still? Modern orchestras tend to vary in size depending on what pieces they are playing, but the standard is much closer to this large, romantic size, and it's far less typical to see a small, intimate Baroque setting unless specifically attending a Baroque focused concert. Also I know I embedded Dvořák because Symphony From a New World slaps but please also listen to Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 it's one of my all time favorite pieces and NOT just because of the Tom and Jerry cartoon, alright? Alright.

The Impressionist Movement (1890-1920)

A bit after it began but definitely still during the romantic period, a counter movement began in France that turned away from the emotional excess of romanticism and focused less on standard chord progression and explored more unconventional scales. This music was less worried about how it 'should' sound and was more concerned with evoking a certain emotion or image, giving you an "impression" of an idea. Debussy is by far the most well known name in this movement, even though he personally hated the term 'impressionism,' lol.

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Notice the way the periods build on each other naturally, literally, physically builds on the orchestras that came before, evolving in style and structure until you get to the late 19th and early 20th century when things were built up so big that a response to that excess started to develop, first in the impressionist movement, and then into 20th century music in general, which got much more experimental and, as we say, "weird." (frickin 12 tone scales, man)* *i do not actually dislike the sound of 12 tone, it's interesting and unique, but it is HELL to analyze in music theory, which is unfortunately when a lot of us classical musicians are first introduced to it, therefore tarnishing our relationship to the genre as we cannot separate it from our own undergrad anguish

Even if you're not a super active listener and you have a harder time discerning the difference between, say, late baroque and early classical, you cannot deny that the first piece I've linked by Bach and the last piece I've linked by Debussy sound completely different. They're both orchestral pieces (I intentionally chose all orchestral pieces as my examples here, getting into solo works, opera, and chamber ensembles would take too long), but other than that, they couldn't be more different.

Wait, so what are we talking about again?

Classical Music is first a period of music, a specific artistic movement with music typically written in Europe between 1750 and 1820 with a specific sound that is distinct from these other styles I've outlined here.

And Classical Music is second a genre. Because while academically and historically Baroque music is not classical, and Romantic music is not classical...colloquially it is. They sound similar enough that it makes sense to put them on the same playlists, the same radio stations, the same 'beats to study to' youtube compilation videos. While individuals may have favorites and preferences, it's not far fetched to say that if you like listening to one of these styles, you'll at least like one of the others.

But whether you're being broad and referring to our modern idea of the classical genre, or you're being pedantic like me and referring to a specific period of musical history (or modern compositions emulating that style, because yeah, modern compositions of all of theses styles do exist), I think we can all agree that, as much as it slaps, "Toxic" by Britney Spears is not classical music, and 500 years is unlikely to change our perspective of that.

A Traditional Ballad though?

Yeah, I can see us calling it that in 5 billion years.

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(the full version of this scene is age restricted for some reason, but you can watch it here)

Anyway, thanks for reading y'all, have a good one!

#music #music theory #music history #classical music #baroque music #romantic music #impressionist music #music teacher #music teaching #taylor teaches #asks and answers #long post

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rorywritesjunk · 5 months

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Let's be one another's present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: R-ish for now.

Warning: Swearing, soft Buggy, sort of terrible communication but in a soft way, both of them are just a bit dumb. Kissing. Bath time for Buggy as well. Also insecure Buggy.

A/N: This story is opposite of my Kid Buggy series and I love that for myself. I'm also posting this chapter on mobile, so apologies if the formatting is weird but I wanted to get this chapter out and I'm impatient.

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel @ane5e @fanshavegottensotoxic @honey-deerling

Chapter 7

Honestly, confessing your feelings didn't make too much of a difference from what you two were previously doing, but now Buggy didn't wait until you were asleep to pull you into his arms, he did it when you were still awake, pressing soft kisses to your face and neck with promises of how he would keep you safe now, that he would take care of you. And you still prepared him a plate at breakfast, still made sure he ate, but now you made sure he had second helpings of his favorite food to get him through the day.

You still called him an asshole and he still called you a diva from time to time, but there was less bite to it than before.

Though sometimes you two still had arguments, mostly about your routine, which you were getting closer and closer to giving up on. Just a month after you two confessed to each other your feelings, it finally came to a head.

“You were under water for way too long!” Buggy snapped when you two were back in your room after a frustrating day. Both of you woke up late, breakfast tasted horrible, and several freaks kept messing up on their routines. Buggy was in a foul mood and you were just grumpy. You ignored him as you stripped off your wet clothes and started drying off with a towel. At this point being naked around each other wasn't a big deal.

“Four minutes!” You shot back. “I was only in there for four minutes, okay? And I'm fine!”

“No, four minutes is not okay!” He shouted. “That's too long!”

“Buggy, it's not a big deal!” You insisted as you pulled on one of his shirts to wear. You liked how they fit you and it was often your preferred item to wear for sleeping. Next was a clean pair of underwear. “I know what I'm capable of, okay? I wish you could understand that!”

“I know you're capable, I just don't like it!” Buggy snapped. “What if something happens when my back is turned, or your helper can't reach you?! I can't help you, remember?”

You crossed your arms and stared at him, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. If this was something he worried about…

“Well, why don't I just stop doing it then?” You suggested with a shrug, but when you saw the way Buggy's face fell you immediately regretted suggesting it.

“And then what?” He asked quietly. “Are you going to leave?”

That wasn't the question you expected. “What? No! Why would I leave?!”

“If you're not going to do it…”

“Then Cabaji can use me as target practice.” You sighed as you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him. “Look, clearly this isn't working.” You silenced him with your finger to his lips before he could fuss. “The routine, Buggy. You're stressing over it and I don't want you to stress, so what if I just… take a break from it for a while and work with Cabaji? You trust him, right?”

Buggy let the suggestion soak in. Okay, you weren't going to leave, you had a suggestion, and you still got to perform, which he was happy with. And yea, he trusted Cabaji. You would be safe working with him. No risk of drowning, just maybe a stab wound if he miscalculated a throw, but Buggy could deal with that. Maybe.

“I'll tell him about it.” Buggy mumbled as he leaned into your touch. “Just… don't leave.”

“Why do you think I'm going to leave?” You asked. “I just don't want you to stress. You've been stressing about this since I started it.”

Buggy just shrugged as he pulled back from you. “I need a bath.”

“Yea, you do, stinky man.” You sighed. Bathing habits of pirates was something you were still getting used to, and Buggy seemed to prefer going days without bathing before finally giving in, and right then you were grateful. You tried to get one at least every other day, but sometimes it didn't work that way. You had thought about taking one tonight but your little argument with your boyfriend distracted you.

Buggy sat down to unbuckle his boots but you stopped him. You could see how stressed he was, that he was feeling the frustrations from the day weighing down on him, so you knelt down and did it for him, setting them aside before pulling off his socks. Yea, you were washing his clothes tomorrow, you wouldn't take no for an answer on that.

“You don't have-”

“Shut up and relax.” You told him firmly. “Today was shitty and you're about to snap, so let me help, Buggy.”

He nodded and let you be in control. You stood back up and pressed a kiss to his forehead, resisting the urge to tell him who was in charge since he often liked to say that to you, whether being serious or playful, but you didn't want to rile him up. You needed him to take it easy.

“I'm going to do laundry tomorrow, so anything you want washed, go ahead and put it in the basket, Buggy.” You told him as you leaned down to unbutton his shirt. He just nodded, shrugging it off before standing up to take his pants off next. You moved over to the tub, starting the water to get it filled up. His hair needed to get washed and brushed out, and you wanted his face clean, so you grabbed the shampoo, brush, and the makeup remover and cleanser before returning to the tub.

“I can do this myself, y’know.” He mumbled as he tossed the dirty clothes into the basket. You shrugged and stuck your hand in the water to check the temperature.

“Do you want to?” You asked. “I can go do something else.”

“No, no.” He replied a little too quickly as he walked over to the tub and climbed in, lowering himself down into the water. “Just don't want you to think you have to.”

“Well, I want to.” You told him as you grabbed a towel to kneel on as you got yourself comfy behind the tub. “Now can I wash your hair? It got in my mouth last night and… it wasn't good.”

He smirked a bit and glanced back at you. “I can always put something else in your mouth, y'know.”

You tugged on a lock of hair when he said that before reaching in to push his shoulders down to get as much of his hair wet as possible. The bath water wasn't sea water thankfully, unlike some of it that came into the tank you would be submerged in. You knew that's why he felt helpless when you were in there, he couldn't help you if something went wrong.

“Maybe once you're clean.” You shot back playfully as you made sure his hair was wet. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. You poured some of the strawberry scented shampoo into your hand before you began to massage it into his locks, dragging your nails over his scalp gently, eliciting a moan from him. You couldn't help but giggle at the reaction, ensuring his hair was well lathered before dunking him back into the water. “Mm, you like me touching you like that, Buggy?”

“Fuck, don't ask me that.” He hissed as you wrung his hair out before letting it hang outside the tub while you grabbed a towel to dry it.

“Why?” You chuckled as you made sure to get his hair dried before wrapping it up in the towel. “You don't want me touching you?”

“I do.” He grumbled as he sat up a bit in the tub. “I'll… do the rest. I don't need you to help.”

“But I want to.” You reminded him with a frown. “Please?”

He glanced back at you, cheeks pink with embarrassment, but he finally nodded. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek before grabbing a washcloth to clean his face with.

“Can I wash your face?” You asked. “And… can I touch your nose?”

“Why?” He demanded, narrowing his eyes. You held the washcloth up as well as the remover.

“I just want to clean your face.”

“It's real, you know that.”

“Buggy, I'm just asking to wash your face.” You told him gently. “And I'll try not to touch your nose, but I may need to. That's all.”

He wasn't sure about that. For one thing, you asked to touch his nose. He was used to others just touching it in the past, not believing it to be real, wondering if it came off or even honked. Those incidents were humiliating and uncomfortable for him, and what if this was all a ruse, you wanting to see if it did anything other than sit on his face? He couldn't cope. He didn't want you to.

“I'll wash my face.” He mumbled as he looked away from you. With a shrug, you handed him the cleanser and washcloth. You got up to get him a clean pair of pants to wear to sleep in. He glanced over as you moved, wondering if you were upset now. “Maybe… next time.”

“Okay.” You found a pair and tossed it on the bed before tossing his socks and shirt into the laundry basket. “Buggy, communication is a big thing, y’know, and while I'm no expert with relationships, we do gotta communicate.”

“We do!” He insisted. “You asked me something and I said no, so we communicated!”

“I'm not saying we don't, Buggy.”

“Then what are you saying?”

You resisted grabbing one of his socks and throwing it at him. “Buggy, don't bite my head off. I'm just trying to talk to you. Why are you so defensive?”

“Why did you want to touch my nose?” He shot back. You stared at him before throwing your arms up in exasperation.

“Communicating! I asked because I know it's something you're sensitive about!” You exclaimed. “Geez, would you have rather I just touched it?!”

“No! Just…” he huffed and looked down at the washcloth and cleanser before looking back at you. “I don't want you to feel disgusted or anything, okay?”

“I'm not going to.” You assured him as you went back over to the tub. “I'm trying to do the right thing and ask first, okay, just like you ask me before doing things for me.”

Buggy sighed and handed the cleanser and washcloth back to you, which you took back before kissing his cheek. You were gentle, wetting his face before using the cleanser, massaging it into his skin before using the washcloth to clean his face. You were mindful of his nose, though your fingertips brushed against it just for a moment, making him flinch but he didn't pull away from you. Once you were done and his face was clean, you turned his head so you could kiss him on the lips.

“All done.” You murmured as you started to pull away, but before you realized what was happening, both of Buggy's arms detached and were hauling you into the tub. You couldn't help but shriek as you were suddenly dunked in the bath water. “Buggy!”

“You need a bath too, Cupcake.” He said with a smirk as he pulled the soaking shirt off of you. “Might as well conserve water.”

“You asshole.” You said, your tone playful as you shimmied out of your underwear, tossing it aside with the wet shirt. “Those were my only clean pair.”

“Eh, laundry tomorrow.” Buggy shrugged as his arms wrapped around you and pulled you against his chest. “It's fine.”

Guess you were sleeping naked tonight.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc

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heyidkyay · 6 months

Text

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Five

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: IT'S FINALLY HERE. THEY MEET. AH IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. But I have just finished writing part 6! So I figured why not post 5? SO here it is, hope you enjoy? X

>Just a note! So there's no confusion, this first section of 5 coincides at the same time as the last part of 4, as in where heading into the studio it was seen from Matty's POV, this starts with Mouse's and then goes onto them actually meeting one another! Okay? ta:)

Warnings: um, moody matty, lil bit of self-consciousness, mentions of scarring

Masterlist

I was running a bit behind schedule. Which wasn't too unusual for me, what with being the single parent to a rambunctious four year old, but this time around I’d somehow managed to allow myself to be waylaid by Adi's antics.

Apparently upon entering the studio this morning, everything had just felt a little 'off'.

And after having announced that, I’d had to sit back and watch on whilst Adi had trudged out of the room in her heavy black boots, only to come back a few moments later with a stub of sage in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Honestly, I was pretty sure that I could still taste the thick plume of smoke that I’d been forced to inhale each time I breathed in, even after having quickly made my escape. But yet it clung to the back of my throat uncomfortably and I couldn't avoid the grimace that wrinkled my face as I tried to rid myself of the sooty tang which coated my tongue.

But that was just Adi, I supposed. And it was one of the many things I loved most about her, how she was so unapologetically herself- even if it meant that I was forced to cough up a lung-full of herbs every once in a while.

See, it was actually Adi’s grandmother that had gotten her into performing all of the rites and cleanses she did so often. The woman was a real spiritualist and had taken Ads in at a very young age, so Adi had practically grown up around it all. She often spoke about how her grandmother had wanted her to follow down the same path and show a deeper interest, but Adi had always been much more fascinated by music, fashion and all things that revolved around tech.

She was a proper whiz with a computer, but that didn't mean she didn't have an appreciation for her grandmother’s beliefs, nor a knack.

"Are you still coughing up a storm, you drama queen?"

Speak of the devil, and he doth appear, I thought dryly, as Adi reemerged from out of the hazy recording booth. The sage now nowhere to be seen.

I rolled my eyes at her and continued to fiddle with the wires I had wound in my hand.

"I can't fucking stand the stuff, Ads."

Adi merely smirked at me as she bypassed, practically skipping.

"I know, but it's always good to be prepared! Who knows what we'll have to deal with when the infamous diva finally arrives!"

I snorted at Adi's mocking tone and couldn't quite hide the quirk of my lip.

"Fair enough. Just leave that door wide open, will you? And grab the fan while you're at it, as well. Don't need him, and whoever's tagging along, catching on."

I watched Adi laugh in amusement as she wandered over towards the sofa, the sweet sound echoing around the open space.

"On it, Captain!"

The two of us worked quickly after that, whirling around the loft, and one another, in an attempt to get things sorted before our guest's imminent arrival.

It wasn't long before we both recognised the telltale sign of a car pulling up outside though, and upon hearing the engines rumble die out I immediately caught Adi's eye from across the room.

It was a silent challenge and with it there was a frenzied rush to see who could get to the nearest window first. Adi had promptly tossed her notes towards my desk and taken to skidding across the hardwood floors, whilst I had all but thrown myself over the back of the settee.

Adi made it there first, even in her heavy docs, and claimed the windowsill with an unnecessary amount of arrogance. She grinned primly at me as I reluctantly slowed my approach, leaving me to lean in close so that we could both try and get a good look in.

But from this angle, there was practically no use. I craned my neck as far as my torso would willingly allow me and could only just make out the tail-end of a sleek car parked up on the curb. I assumed that meant Healy had arrived.

"Can you see anything?" Came Adi's impatient voice, a hushed whisper even though we were three flights up.

"No." I grunted back, "Your fat head's in the way."

Ads scoffed at me and I didn't have to look at her to know that she was now glaring up at me. I grinned.

"My head is perfectly sized, thank you! But seeing as we’re on the topic of abnormalities, you're practically half giraf-”

Adi immediately cut her snide comment short when a loud voice suddenly trumped the usual roaring noise that went hand in hand with the large city that was London.

"Right my!" We heard.

The voice was sharp and irritated, fuelled by an obvious anger, and soon trailed off into a muffled grit.

Adi's head snapped back to the window at the very sound of it, whilst I couldn't help but question just how exactly she’d managed to contort her body in the way she had, long legs tucked up beside her as she pressed her torso against the glass to listen closer.

The voice rang out again, sharper this time, and my eyes shot down to meet Adi’s own.

In return, she gifted me a catty side eye- obviously enraptured by the sudden drama that had seemingly been handed to us- and I could do nothing but shrug at her in response, somewhat baffled.

I pulled away slowly when the voices didn't seem ready to rise again, and silently wished that I could've been a fly on the wall during a conversation like that.

Clasping Adi's wrist, I gently tugged her away. "Come on, you best get down there before things go sideways and we end up on the backend of it all."

"Me?!" Adi crowed back, her eyes wide in alarm as she let me drag her back from the windowsill. "Why not you?"

My face scrunched up at the very thought.

"Ah go on, Ads. Please! You're so good with shit like this, can charm your way out of practically anything."

She narrowed her eyes in response. "I know what you're doing."

I pursed my lips together in an attempt to keep up the innocent act, already feeling a grin cropping up. “Is it working? ‘Cause we both know you’re the sweetest talker around, Wells. Could talk your way out of police custody, you like.”

Adi clucked her tongue but moved to cross the loft. “Yeah, yeah. But we both know you’re just being a coward! What, you really aren't ready to face him yet?”

I was swift to spin around on my heel to hide the truth my expression conveyed, and ignored the question altogether as I headed back towards the booth. I also pretended not to hear the cow’s delighted cackles as she began to descend the staircase.

"Just make sure the camera's are rolling before I get back! And wish me luck!"

"Luck!" I called out loudly over my shoulder before unplugging the fan and then storing it away. She was definitely going to need it.

I busied myself with the last of my tasks afterwards, an odd feeling of anxiety welling in my chest as I went through the usual motions.

It was strange for me to linger too long on thoughts of nervousness, because I usually had too much going on in other aspects of my life. Making things a little too difficult to concentrate on the many things that could possibly go wrong.

This time around though, we weren’t dealing with the usual up and coming artist, new to the industry and overwhelmingly pleased to be invited on. No, this time we’d practically been fed to the sharks.

Because, of all the possible people, we’d just had to have landed Matty Healy.

I started to question it all again. How exactly I'd gotten myself wrapped up in a mess this big in the first place and only hoped that Adi fared alright with dealing with Healy on her own for a while.

Maybe it had been cowardly of me to send her in first but I really didn’t think I could face him just yet, seeing as it had been me that had set off the pyramid of fireworks that had seemingly burned a hole in his life.

A dull vibration pulsed in my back pocket, breaking me from my train of thought, and I found that I was very much thankful for the sudden distraction it offered.

Messages now Finnleyyy Just got back to the gallery, Teds was fine when I dropped him off! If the show goes on any later feel free to message me and I'll pick him up x

I smiled down at the message.

At least that was one less thing I had to worry about, Teddy was safe and well, already settled in at the local nursery and in all honesty, I truly didn't know where I'd be without Finn, especially on days like these.

I was quick to fire back a text full of appreciation before I slipped the phone back into my pocket.

It was just as I had finished clearing up the rest of the studio that I heard a sudden rush of voices trail up the stairwell, and stilled at the very sound.

It was Adi’s voice which carried the furthest and so I ran my teeth along my bottom lip before ultimately deciding that running and hiding was my best bet. So I shot across the loft floor and into the recording booth to stow myself away.

Adi didn’t give me the chance to worry excessively over every little detail that could go wrong as the group of visitors grew marginally closer. So to keep myself busy for a minute or two, or to rather calm my erratic heart, I chose to fiddle with the last of the cameras that had been set up.

I felt, more than heard, the moment they passed the top of the stairwell as the wooden floorboards of the studio tended to creak beneath added weight.

It was pretty much impossible to hear what was being said on the other side of the recording booth though, due to its soundproof walls, but that tiny fact didn’t stop me from practically sealing myself against the door in an attempt to decipher the perfect moment for me to intervene on the situation outside.

For days I’d been practically driving myself stir crazy over all of this, I knew that I just needed to get it over and done with, save myself the stress before I brought another headache on. Because I could do this, he was just some guy. Famous or not.

So with a final albeit shaky breath, I braced myself and opened up the door.

Thankfully, I was almost instantly met by the comforting sound of Adi's voice.

“Ah, there she is! Was wondering when you’d show your mug. Fancy a cuppa, babe? Fixing up a few.”

“Please.” I breathed out a sigh and dragged a hand through my hair as I wandered towards the kitchenette, catching sight of the two bodies currently commandeering our tiny seating area.

I focused on the man sitting closest and the first thing I noticed about him was the sleek haircut he’d styled, it was clipped closely at the sides but left long on top to keep the thinning hairs going in one direction. He was different from what I’d expected, but not just because he was older, he also wore this brilliant smile when he moved to peer up at me, sincere enough that I felt my doubts ebb as I smiled back, taking in the rest of him and his fine fitting clothes which seemed to suit him well.

I dipped my head in a silent hello before my gaze flickered over towards our remaining guest.

It shouldn’t have felt as shocking as it did to finally set eyes on Matty Healy in person, not after all of the thorough planning I’d put into his very visit. But it was strangely surprising to bare witness to the way his lithe body was currently perched on the edge of our shabby armchair, the very same Adi, Finn and I had dragged back from the secondhand shop further up the main road. It felt wrong almost, having someone so obviously used to a certain luxury sat in the tatty thing.

I pulled my mind away from that last thought and focused on how I couldn't quite seem to tear my eyes away from the way Healy’s frame folded in on itself slightly, legs jutted out wide, elbows pressed against knees, and his chin cocked high. The guy’s overall stance was oddly domineering for someone so wraithlike, with hollowed cheeks and an aristocratic smile. It made him that much harder to read.

Healy’s own eyes were also hidden, so I couldn't make out the line of his gaze. Disguised behind a dark pair of glasses that I could only supposed cost more than what I’d make in two, maybe three months.

The question of what Healy might've first thought upon seeing me and the way I’d drowned myself in the oversized band tee I’d chosen that morning crossed my mind. But I was simply just thankful for the fact that I’d forgotten my knitted cardi somewhere behind me in the recording booth. Silently wishing that I had the balls, as well as the body, to pull off the outfits Adi liked to wear.

"Hiya." I finally greeted them, forcing myself to smile as I extended a polite hand outwards. "It's great to meet you both."

Even with the dark shades on, I easily spotted the way Healy's brows lifted in reply before he- rather reluctantly- clasped his own hand in mine.

I swallowed back the strained smile I wanted to give him in return and focused instead on the shake. Healy’s hands were apt, fingers long and slender, skin much softer than it should’ve been for any musician, and his knuckles prominent but wrist almost dainty. He was a juxtaposition if I’d ever seen one.

He was the first to pull away.

“Likewise.”

My jaw ticked at Healy’s sarky tone but I didn’t let it deter me. Staying professional, I turned to offer the same sentiment to his accomplice.

“I’m Mouse, by the way. It’s lovely to have you both. Hope you got here okay.”

The other man was much merrier than Healy, practically a total contrast actually, and he showed it in the joyful way he shook my hand, still smiling away.

“You know London traffic.” He replied around a low chuckle and let our hands fall, “Lovely to be here though. I’m Matty’s manager, Jamie.”

I smiled as I nodded in remembrance.

“Got to say, I really love what you two have done with this place. Skylight’s incredible.” Jamie added and I grinned before settling into the adjacent sofa, leaving plenty of space for Adi to take.

“You saw that? But yeah, I honestly think it’s the only reason we were so sold on this particular building- ‘cause the stairs are killer.”

“I can see why! I’m dying to have something like that back at mine, but the conservatory will have to do for now.” Jamie enthused and stood up when Adi strode on over.

Skillfully, the man helped guide the wooden tray Ads had been carrying towards the coffee table and smiled when she thanked him for his efforts, the image of a perfect gentleman.

“Thanks, Ads.” I breathed out in appreciation when the girl handed me my usual milky brew, then took a quick sip.

Someone snorted as I did and my eyes instantly flew over to discover that the sound had been made by Healy, because of course.

He seemed all too amused by something and, from the way his body was still angled towards me, I could only assume that it was down to something I'd done.

I blinked in confusion before I moved to raise my mug high above my head, reading the large, industrialised font that covered the bottom of the cup. Cunt.

The studio was probably the furthest thing from a professional setting, we’d always wanted the entire space to feel comfortable, safe even. But this was supposed to be our big break and so we had been trying to convey it as though it was. But here Adi was dishing out the gag gifts Finn had bestowed upon the loft last Christmas like it was a regular Tuesday.

Still, with a shake of my head, I couldn’t quite bring myself to dim my grudging grin as I shot a narrow eyed glare Adi’s way.

"Ta for that." I voiced with a light chortle and tipped the mug at her in false cheers, before my eyes then flittered over towards Jamie, who had since stifled his own amusement in favour of taking a slow sip of his own brew. And ah, yeah, there was the matching mug.

Healy laughed to himself in the little corner he’d created and I caught the way he subtly surveyed his own cup, out of the corner of my eye, just in case Adi had got him too.

Somehow he’d managed to avoid that particular jest and I knew that the only thing Healy really had to worry about now was if there was a secret dirty message waiting for him once he’d finally polished off his drink.

"What can I say? The mugs, they do not lie." Adi jeered, a mischievous glint in her eye before she turned her head back towards the two visitors. "See you've met our wonderful Mouse then! Ain't she a looker?"

I grimaced away from the hand that reached out to grab at my chin and silently questioned what I'd done to suddenly be on the deserving end of all her taunts.

Jamie laughed at the pair of us, but even with it, I didn't miss Healy's quiet hum or the way he was now seemingly more interested in the contents of his cup than the current conversation.

"Quite. We were actually just talking about you on the way up here, mate." Jamie divulged and I dragged my attention back towards the man, eyebrows lifting.

"Only good things, I hope." I replied, somewhat uncomfortably, but smiling lightly at Jamie before I managed to catch Adi's eye.

Ads simply waved me off. "Of course! They were interested in the show- how it started and what not." She told me and I nodded, mostly to myself as I relaxed further into the settee.

"Oh, well yeah, we've been around a while now."

"Adi mentioned that you were just a kid when you started out, sounds mad putting it like that." Jamie pondered, appearing quite intrigued by the topic. "How did this all come about then?"

Usually, I liked to skirt around this particular subject, wanting to dive straight into the work and forgo most of the small talk, but I caught the way Jamie’s eyes darted around our quaint little studio. He wasn’t just asking for the sake of it.

"If I'm being truly honest, a lot of stuff happened all at once." I revealed with a soft chuckle, but it lacked any of the mirth I was aiming for as I thought back to my second year of university, the year everything had quite literally turned on its head.

"I was in between jobs and my best mate suggested that I take the Twitter account I already had and turn it into something with a bigger presence. At the time, I had nothing left to lose so I just went for it."

At least, that was the shortened version of it. I’d skipped the mental breakdown, the almost losing my flat, and the birth of my child for the sake of not looking like a total psycho.

Jamie looked impressed or, at the very least, understanding as he nodded along to my words.

"Can't say I regret it now though." I had to tack on and smiled before attempting to trail my way onto a more formal topic. "I got your list by the way- what not to ask and all that. Think one of your lot emailed it to me earlier in the week. But I just wanted to let you both know-”

I let my eyes flit over towards Healy for a brief moment before they settled back on Jamie.

"That you don't have to worry about any of that whilst you're here. We want things to be relaxed, comfortable. I know your team was adamant on everything being a bit more structured, following the lines of an actual interview, but we don't do much of that around here. So I hope you're happy with just having a simple sit down."

"Like this?" Came a reply and I had to pause for a second before realising where the question had come from. Or who, rather.

I settled my mug down on my thigh, loosely supporting it with my hand, and looked over in the direction of Healy.

"A bit, yeah." I confirmed with an incline of my head, "That alright with you?"

The singer was silent for a long second and I couldn't help but take the opportune moment he gave to simply admire the way his fingers had wrapped themselves around his mug, mindlessly tapping away to a hollow tune.

Just when it appeared as though the silence had stretched on a beat too long, and Jamie had begun to shuffle forward ever so slightly in his seat, did Healy finally reply.

"If it's just you, then yes."

I tried not to let the reaction of how I really felt flash across my face then as I stared back at the man opposite.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the way Adi's lips had pursed unhappily in retort and how Jamie’s expression had hardened into a somewhat steely glare, desperate for Matty to spare a glance his way. Probably to scold him for being so painfully rude. But Healy, to my utter disbelief, kept his head firmly fixed towards me, even as he pushed the dark sunglasses he wore up into his curly hair.

It almost felt like we were in a stare off with the way I watched him for any tell that would surely give him away, slowly considering the proposition and not caring to cover up the way I could now stare into the other man’s dark brown eyes unabashedly.

From where I was sat, I could only just make out the darkened circles that rested beneath Healy’s pupils, as well as the red line that rimmed them. Their colour was far from unusual, brown, but his were not something you saw very often, they drew you in, kept you trapped. They harboured a multitude of other colours that blended ruthlessly into an array of raw umber.

As magnetising as they may have felt though, I found that I was mostly grateful to see that Healy’s pupils were of a normal size. The only thing I wanted to question were the walls that were so obviously barricaded behind them, giving me absolutely nothing in return.

"Just me?"

Healy simply stared back.

I couldn’t look Adi’s way when I finally answered the request, simply hoping that she would somehow understand. This felt too much like a test to say anything other than, “Alright. If that’s what you’d prefer.”

I moved to push my mug onto the corner of the coffee table, allowing myself a seconds release from his stare.

“But Adi often controls what goes on behind the scenes when we record, so it’ll be harder without her there, especially with all the cameras.” I explained carefully.

"Look, just hang on a second-" Jamie tried, obviously wanting to defuse the situation, but was ultimately cut off by Healy. It honestly felt as though the man believed neither Jamie nor Adi were a part of the conversation any longer.

"Can you do it?"

His tone was almost challenging, the four words fell from his wicked tongue like a dare.

"Not the type to back down." Was all I could think to retort, my hardened gaze once again zeroed in on Healy's own.

***

The recording booth was smaller than he’d expected. A table sat in the very centre, surrounded by a swarm of cameras and microphones, all of which seemed to be connected to a variety of wires Matty could hardly even bring himself to be cautious of as he stepped past.

The table hosted an array of tech though, from computers and mixing boards to monitors and speakers. None of which Matty was the least bit interested in either.

Three of the four walls were lined with acoustic foam panels, one’s you’d typically find in booths, while the last had been turned into a mural of sorts.

The mural was dark and edgy, a string of trees sprouted up from the ground and swept across the expanse of it, its branches winding upwards only to entangle in one another. A common field mouse sat crouched in between the trunks of the trees, its big eyes shining as it met Matty’s stare head-on. The walls centre held the name of the radio show and at first glance it looked as though it had been printed on one of those acrylic neon signs, but it was actually just extremely detailed.

Matty had to blink once or twice before he was finally able to look away.

"Who's work?" He found himself asking, filling the silence that had settled upon the closing of the booth's door. He jutted his chin out towards the far wall, sparing the art one last glance before he gave the girl his full focus.

Her eyes flitted up to meet his own before they sailed across to the mural.

"A friend." Was all she replied, but her voice had softened a touch now that it was just the two of them, Matty noted.

She offered nothing more than that and so Matty took it for what it was, nodding his quiet assent.

"Do you have anything in particular you'd like to talk about whilst you're here?" Mouse asked him as she clicked away at the computer, he felt strange using the name, even if it was just in his own head. "We've got a good hour or so before Adi comes snooping."

"I've got a million things I'd like to say," Matty let slip as he trailed on closer to the table, then forced a sardonic smile. "But I'm not particularly in the mood for a good tongue lashing today."

She looked slightly startled by his dry joke and Matty found himself having to hold back a smirk as he rounded the desk, fingertips gliding across the table's smooth surface.

"What about you, then?" He posed, not wanting to stunt their talk just as it had begun. Somewhat intrigued now. "Got anything you'd like to get off your chest for millions of people to hear?"

It was sarky, but when was he not? Though if he was being honest, Matty just found that he wanted to hear the girl talk, because for some reason he enjoyed listening to her. Her gentle accent had obviously been weakened during the time she'd spent in London but Matty enjoyed its easy lilt. It was almost soothing. He wondered where she was from, but didn't ask.

Mouse snorted, shaking her head. "Wouldn't quite say millions, a couple thousand at best."

Matty felt his eyebrows raise as he spared another glance over at her, thinking back to those eyes that had held his so solemnly. "What, even with me here?"

He was teasing, but her eyes widened briefly as though she feared she had offended him, but as mentioned, it was only a brief flicker before a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how loyal your fans truly are, Healy."

"Guess so." Matty mocked.

***

The show had gotten off to a rocky start. I had been all too aware of the surrounding cameras and the way the menacing rockstar, sat centimetres away from me, liked to keep his stare fixed firmly on me at all times, following my each and every movement.

I couldn't quite help the way I shifted uncomfortably every time I looked up and caught Healy's eye either, or the way I’d chosen to angle my face away from the cameras to avoid looking directly into any lenses.

I was dead crap when it came down to things like this. It all became too much, the pressure to entertain, to pretend that I was fine, that I was comfortable in my own skin, to chat away like there weren't already a thousand eyes studying my every flaw.

Look, give me a microphone and any sodding topic that either pissed me off or positively enthralled me and I'd be happy to rant the ears off of any nutter willing to listen. But in scenarios such as these, I always felt slightly on edge. Teetering on the verge of falling right on over it.

‘Cause I knew what people saw when they looked at me. I was all too familiar with the pitying glance I often got spared, as well as the grimaces people couldn’t seem to hide when they walked by.

I’d had to deal with it for years. Ever since I was a kid.

And upon hearing that, anyone would probably figure that I might’ve gotten used to all the gawking by now, especially with a toddler constantly keeping me on my toes. But ultimately my son’s presence often appeared to exaggerate the mixed reactions I received.

In truth, I’d never really been given the time to come to terms with the scars that marred my body, my face. The white lines that spoiled the features underneath.

So claiming it to be a rocky start, would only put a dent about the size of a pea into the way I was currently feeling!

Healy was rather unhelpful too, just as I’d predicted. He seemed to almost get off on watching me writhe under his leer and his answers to the questions or topics brought up were half-hearted at best.

Really, I was beginning to doubt the way in which I’d figured this entire mess would end.

It was only supposed to be a quick and easy chat, the two of us sat there gossiping like old mates, proving to the rest of the world that there really was no animosity or underlying conspiracies to this whole setup. When in actuality, that really wasn't the case.

Time and time again I found myself questioning why exactly Healy had even bothered to come, why he had even agreed to the whole ordeal in the first place. Especially when he was so apathetic with his replies.

"So," I trailed off, somewhat desperate to save what was left of the segment- for my sake at the very least. I didn't even want to think of what sort of issues this would cause for the show. "Music! I mean, from an outsider's point of view, we never really got the whole backstory on how you and the rest of the band really met. I mean, you’ve said you started it in secondary school, but you yourself were kind of pushed into the limelight at a really young age, so how did you and the guys connect?”

Healy tensed at that particular question, his shoulders forming a more rigid line as his gaze flickered away from me for only the briefest of seconds before it returned, but it was enough to alert me to the fact that I was treading into murky waters. I tried to backtrack.

"But in all honesty, what I really want to know about are all the sordid details, life after all that crap, the answers to the things people never think to ask. Like, I've seen pictures of your clearly extensive guitar collection all over your Instagram feed, you must have a favourite!"

Matty's lips curled into something which almost resembled a smile then and it honest to God threw me through a loop. A metaphorical loop, of course, I wasn't quite sure if we could fit any sort of loop-like shape into a space this small.

But I was letting myself get sidetracked and couldn't help but question whether that was the sort of thing Healy typically thrived off of. He’d smiled, and nothing wicked or sarky had tinged it, it’d been a genuine smile. And I had to blink just to make sure my eyes hadn't been playing tricks on me as Healy edged forward in his seat, a coy grin now dancing at the corners of his muted pink lips.

"A favourite? Now that's the question to ask! Honestly? It'll have to be the '63 Jazzmaster I've got. It’s wicked, used by the Ramones on their debut album and then by David Byrne on early Syre demos. So it’s seen quite a bit."

After that, I just sat there. Stunned as Healy continued to rant about this poxy guitar he was so obviously smitten with and couldn't help but be utterly captivated by each and every word that slipped from his mouth.

Apparently all I had ever needed to get past the games and ginormous walls Healy had defensively built around himself was to simply be myself. Ask the questions that maybe only I wanted to know the answers to.

See, I wasn't the biggest people person but I figured myself to be somewhat of a skilful conversationalist. What with my past, I’d kind of had to force myself to be. But I was glad to have finally been given an in with Healy, no matter how small. It helped the interview pass by a lot easier.

Although the new spirit Healy adopted after that only seemed to last until nearing the very end of the show.

In truth, I had all but forgotten about the cameras and microphones set up, the fact that people were still listening in, were watching us converse, whilst I simply lost myself in listening to Healy prattle away. Positively enraptured by the way the musician's mind worked as he explained the complexity of a certain riff he adored, or the time he'd pretended to get off in Madison Square Garden- much to the dismay of his PR Team.

"They went absolutely mental when I first proposed it. I'm telling you! Yapping about time and effort, and it being too much for the younger viewers, then the plans that would have to be put into place- all that merry shite. And I’d just been sitting there in these, these skimpy leather trousers, quietly debating over when, or if I'd ever, get the feeling back in my legs. And don't even get me started on my knob. I mean, it must've shrivelled up and die- hang on, I can say knob, right? On air?"

Looking at him in that moment, forgetting everything I already knew, it was like I was seeing this whole other person. Someone who wasn't so confrontational, so quick to defend, or easy to recoil.

It was clear, to me at least, that Healy wasn't the image the media painted of him, he was simply human. A troubled man who truly loved music, in every sort of variety, and wanted to vocalise and share that love with everyone else. He was eccentric for sure, but sincere.

I could see that, even if it only felt like I'd only been given the tiniest bit of insight into the person Healy so obviously tried to keep concealed.

It wasn't long later when I startled somewhat upon seeing the flashing red light of one of our cameras go off to my left and immediately, I jolted upright in my seat.

"God- crap!" I blurted out stupidly as I grabbed at the headset that had threatened to fall off my head in my sudden haste. "Hold on. Sorry, got really sidetracked there- one of the camera's is telling me it's on its last legs, so we'd best start wrapping this up."

Healy deflated ever so visibly, shrinking back in his seat as he huffed a soundless chuckle.

"Can't seem to stop me once I get going." Healy widened his eyes to emphasise his point and I observed how he had hastily retreated back into himself to haul his guard up again.

I was quick to shake my head. "No, truthfully I can't remember the last time I just got to sit here and listen. It was nice not having to do all the work for once."

Matty licked at his top lip upon hearing that and rewarded me with another mirthful smirk. I realised I'd properly put my foot in it there, stressing over why I’d even worded it like that.

Whilst he chuckled to himself at the picture I must’ve made, I decided my best bet was to hurry on and end the show, reciting what needed to be said before I finally signed off, clicking a button.

It was just as the 'ON AIR' sign above the door went off that Adi barged straight through the entrance, gracing us with her wonderful presence. Jamie was just behind her, peeking his head around the doorframe.

"Well I think I can say that that went as well as it could’ve!" He announced, coming to a standstill by Matty as he clapped his client heartily on the back. "Well done, Matt. You as well, Mouse."

"Appreciate it." I smiled up at him before tugging off my headphones and pushing away the mic.

With all four of us now crowded into the makeshift room, the booth suddenly felt a lot smaller than it usually did, and so I tried my best to disguise the way my body immediately reacted to the realisation.

"I'm in dire need of a fag though. Will you be alright tidying up in here, Ads?" I announced as I pulled myself up onto my feet, already beginning to shuffle towards the exit. I picked up the cardigan I'd left on the back of one of the chairs as I went, using it as a shield almost.

"Yeah, of course. Glasses here wanted to discuss one more thing before they made a move anyway."

I shot an arched brow at the man in question but Jamie waved my curiosity off. "Nothing too detailed. Just some forms that need signing."

I didn't much like the part of the arrangement that came after recording, but with an understanding ‘Ah’, I forced myself to ask, "Erm, don't suppose you need me to stick around for any of that do you?"

"Nah," Jamie laughed lightly, "Go on, you're all good."

I smiled, silently praising the stars above as I nodded once and resumed my exit, tugging the cardi on as I hastily made my way over to the fire escape.

Praying that our luck hadn’t run out just yet, I hoped that no one else was up on the roof waiting for me when I pulled my feet up the rickety metal staircase. It was just about the last thing I needed at that moment.

I already had my lighter in hand by the time I'd made it over to our little makeshift patio we’d created, which consisted of a few wooden pallets and a couple of large cushions that overlooked the neighbouring buildings.

It wasn't much, Islington. It was inner London sure, and had its fair few classier joints to show off, but I much preferred what else it had to offer. Like how the hustle and bustle of the city quietened just as you lost yourself down the backroads. And all the parks that had been scattered in and around the main developments and the dozens and dozens of buildings that were constantly cropping up. How there was a pub on almost every street corner and a Sainsbury's never too far away. I even enjoyed the gentle rattle of the overground, it was all too familiar now. Felt more like home than the Isles ever had.

Looking out across the surrounding rooftops, I wondered again just why my mum had yet to leave our tiny town as I lit a cigarette and lifted the filter to my lips.

The first chance my father ever got he’d gone running for the hills and then me, myself, had upped and left the confines of our small cottage as soon as the offer had presented itself.

It wasn't that the harbour town I'd grown up in had nothing to offer. It had a sense of community, a beautiful shoreline (even in the colder months), and of course, the local rugby team.

But speaking in a manner of careers, well, unless you were breaking out on your own and had the cash to open up a shop on the high-street, then you were probably destined to either work in the local greengrocers, serve behind the village bar, or get a shift down by the docks.

You were lucky if you had a bit more meat on your bones though, because then you also had the added opportunity of getting an offer to start laying bricks for one of the few building companies. Most of which were family based.

We had the main school too which housed both primary and secondary kids, and the local college was available if you wanted to further your education. But the closest University campus was a good hundred miles away.

I had applied, but only to lessen the guilt I'd felt towards my mother when I'd started looking for courses available in just about any place apart from home whilst filling out uni apps.

I could still recall the day I’d finally told her I'd be leaving for London. Felt like a lifetime ago now really.

I'd definitely have to call her up again soon, to make sure that she was doing okay, even if it meant that I'd be forced to listen to her rattle on about coming home for Christmas. Again.

I sighed contently to myself and it was just as I flicked away a stump of ash that I heard someone approach.

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