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#i am genuinely so so sorry that this reply took me as long as it did its been sitting in my drafts forever
jaegersol · 1 year
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@lewdestconcubine || Continued from here
He knows exactly who the Sexta means when he says him.
The rage that flows through him for just a moment, collideing with sadness from an empty place. No matter how many time he's convinced that he's healed, that he doesn't care that his broken box of bugs is long gone, it comes back.  It's searing, like a hot knife, melting that façade that he keeps rock solid in front of anyone else.  Anyone but this man before him.  This person who he'll always blame.
"Do you?" he asks.  There's venom on his tongue that hides something soft, complex.
His voice goes low, soft.
"When he went with you, that was the first time we'd been separated in our entire lives.  This one, our life before, all of them.  After all, for most of my development, we were one being."
His brow furrows.
"I wanted to be okay with that.  I wanted more than anything, you know."
Golden eyes regard the man before him.  He's perfect as he is.  An avatar of destruction, hollowness reaching its pinnacle, matching his purpose, his name, just as well as Szayel does.  Grimmjow is both what he despises and something he admires.  He doesn't blame Yylfordt for taking this path.  Maybe if he'd been born a different way, in a different world, without his other half...he'd have done the same thing upon meeting this man.
But that's not the reality he was born into.  
"Yes."  He says.  
Navigating his emotions is perilous at the best of times...and these are among the stormiest thoughts surrounding the sharpest rocks.  He's shaking at the edges.  
"Like an amputation.  Like a closed door.  Like a lobotomy."
He holds firm.
"And yes.  I will always blame you.”
Grimmjow has never pretended to be a good person. He’s not delusional. Nor, under standard circumstances, is he a liar. He lacks both the emotional awareness and the interest to perfect such a useless skill in a world ruled by violence and power. People like Szayelaporro and Aizen? Their sort exist under the misguided belief that lies and knowledge and information confer some sort of power. Occasionally, Grimmjow can even be tempted to entertain their perspective. Up until it’s a lack of raw physicality that deposits a corpse at his feet or between his jaws.
“Would you care if I did?”
Grimmjow doesn’t say he does. He never cried, he never mourned - why would he? Bigger shit was going on. It wasn’t his fault that Yyfordt was a weakling piece of shit. It wasn’t his fault that the idiot lost all his intellect to Szayelaporro and was left with nothing but the ability to get killed by a shitty shinigami. Grimmjow had taught him better. They’d all been taught better. How to fight, how to pick their battles, how to chose their prey, how to divide a pack and slaughter the weakest links, how to sow discord and fear.
Grimmjow listens quietly. It sounds like some sort of confession, but Grimmjow already knew all of this. His pack had no secrets from him. He was their king, and they conferred more than just their hunger upon him. Grimmjow is privy, most likely, to more details that Szayel would expect. Or prefer.
He wants to say ‘why would you care.’ The angry, vitriolic thing inside of him wants to hiss or roar, wants to gouge bloody crimson ribbons from Szayelaporro’s flesh, wants to yell ‘you did this to him! You cast him out first! If he stayed with you, he’d still be here!’ But Grimmjow is as possessive as he is violent, and if Szayelaporro kept him, then Grimmjow would have never had him at all. And he’d never allow that. Yylfort is his.
Part of him still lives on inside the blastzone of his soul.  
“Good.” He says instead, and means it. Good. Miss him, blame me, hate me. “Means you’ll be forced to remember him.”
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sterekorgtfo · 23 days
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Buck’s eyes jolted open and his heart began to race as something alerted his body and jolted him out from his slumber.
He was momentarily disoriented given that this was the first time he was sleeping in Tommy’s bed and he didn’t recognize the feel of the pillows, comforter, or the sight of the dresser across from him.
After a moment of grasping where he was and what was going on, he recognized the distinct sound of Tommy laughing his ass off behind him in the middle of the night.
“Do you mind telling me what you find so funny at 2 in the morning?” Buck groggily asked as he rotated over to face his hysterical boyfriend.
“Wh…what I’m laughing at?” Tommy asked through the laughter. “Are you saying you don’t know?”
“Given that I was deep in a very heavy REM Cycle, no. Absolutely not,” Buck replied in an annoyed tone. “Our first sleepover is not seeming very romantic right now.”
Tommy let out a few more chuckles and then began to calm his breaths. “Really? I was just thinking the opposite,” Tommy teased playfully. “Your snoring is adorable. Louder than my chopper and my bike combined, but adorable.”
Buck groaned and buried his face in the pillow. “I thought Chris and all of my girlfriends were being over-dramatic.”
“I’m sorry,” Tommy interrupted through a giggle. “Christopher and multiple exes of yours experienced this, and you still had doubt?”
“Chris commented on it when I was babysitting him, and kids are dramatic; and my girlfriends…have also had a history of being dramatic,” Buck explained.
“Uh-oh. I’m dating a ‘all my exes were crazy guy’? That’s a red flag,” Tommy teased.
“No, they’re not,” Buck defended remorsefully. “I just hoped it wouldn’t happen here.”
Tommy chuckled at his boyfriend and Buck felt a mildly judgemental gaze his way. “You thought it’d just be gone by tonight?”
“Kinda?” Buck said sheepishly.
There was a lull in the convo, a moment of silence before Tommy wrapped his arms above and below Buck. “Come here.”
Buck let out a minor yelp as he felt himself be pulled closer to his boyfriend. He felt the warmth of Tommy’s bare muscular chest and arms envelop him. “I think your snoring is adorable, Evan, and I will happily suffer through so many sleepless nights as long as it means you get to fall asleep in my arms and I get to wake up next to you in the morning.”
“You say that now-”
“I do say that now. And I’ll say it again each night until my body won’t let me fall asleep without the sound of you,” Tommy insisted with a confident assurance.
Bucks heart raced and his body instinctively shuddered, and his instinct to roll away was coursing through his whole body.
“Evan? Evan, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked with concern.
“It’s nothing,” Buck lied as he rolled away from Tommy.
“It’s not nothing,” Tommy countered as he allowed his boyfriend some space. “Did I say something wrong, Evan? I’d really like to know if I did.”
Buck winced his eyes and took a deep breath. He was thankful that they were laying in the dark and - *click* oh great, there was the nightstand light on Tommy’s side.
“Evan, will you please look at me?” Tommy tenderly inquired.
Buck really didn’t want to. He wanted to hide himself under the comforters in embarrassment. He didn’t want to be vulnerable right now, but pushing Tommy away wasn’t going to help the situation. Tommy deserved better.
He begrudgingly rolled over to face Tommy and Buck’s heart was struck with guilt as he saw the pain and concern painted across Tommy’s face.
“Evan, baby, can you please tell me what’s wrong?” There was that sweet, genuine sincerity that terrified the hell out of him.
“It’s just…you make all these super sweet promises that sound like you’re gunna be around forever; and we don’t know that,” Buck explained.
“So am I coming on too strong? Do you want me to stop? I don’t mean to rush things or put pressure on you-,” Tommy nervously began to explain.
“No, it’s not too strong. And no, i don’t want you to stop. I like it a lot. Too much, actually, and that’s the problem. I’m scared at how much I like it and I’m terrified about getting too used to it in case this all goes south. You sound like you’re promising forever but you can’t.”
There was another pause as Tommy began to process everything Buck said. “Can I hold your hand?” Tommy softly asked. Buck gently nodded in response.
Tommy moved his free arm to Buck’s, and entwined their hands together, locking fingers. “Evan,” Tommy began, holding his gaze. “You’re right. I cant promise forever. I don’t think our very first sleepover warrants any ring-talk.”
Buck let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, please do not. That’s a red flag.”
“Fair,” Tommy said playfully. “But here’s what I do know. I’m 39, almost 40. I have no intention of plying the field and I’m tired of meaningless flings. I get the feeling you are too based on the handful of threats I’ve received about treating you right; which I absolutely plan on doing.”
Buck chuckled at the thought of everyone giving Tommy the ‘If you hurt him speech.’ “Who all gave you the speech?”
“Maddie. Eddie. Bobby, who found it pertinent to remind me that Athena is a police sergeant,” Tommy explained.
“Oh my god,” Buck said. “I’m surprised you didn’t run on the spot.”
“Well you shouldn’t be,” *Tommy said sternly. “I have no intentions of going anywhere. And granted, it’s possible life is going to throw us some shit. But I’m willing to fight for you, Evan. And as long as both our lives are better with each other in it, then I’m willing to give this a genuine shot. I’m ready to put in the effort for this.”
Buck stewed and marinated and contemplated Tommy’s words. “Is that not a sentiment most people have at the start?”
“No it is not,” Tommy answered matter-of-factly. “Especially in the gay community. I’m not saying everyone, but I’ve ran into my fair share of guys only looking for Mr. Right Now. Or a daddy.”
Buck started to laugh heartily at the thought of Tommy being a ‘daddy’. He understood, though. Buck kinda agreed.
“I want off the hamster wheel, Evan. And I will do everything I can to reassure you that I mean it.”
Buck leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Tommy wrapped his arms back around Buck and held him tight.
“I don’t want to hurt you either, if it’s any consolation,” Buck replied.
“I appreciate that. I don’t know if I have another heartbreak in me either. I spent too many years being inauthentic to myself and unhappy. I don’t want to waste anymore time of my life.”
“So we’re in good hands with each other?” Buck asked.
“I think so,” *Tommy said with a soft, warm smile that made Buck feel so safe and happy with it.
“I think so, too,” Buck said as he leaned in for one more kiss. “Ready to go back to sleep?”
“I suppose that’s up to your nose,” *Tommy said playfully as he turned the light off and pulled his boyfriend in close.
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 4 months
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The Danger Zone (Part 17) - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC
Word Count: 5.0k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.
Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Medical Inaccuracies; Crying; Fluff; Talk of Marriage; Angst; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description
Summary: Jake gets his orders.
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It was deathly quiet in Cyclone’s office and the only sound that Jake registered was his heart beating out of his chest. Slowly closing the folder, Jake turned back to Cyclone, who remained sitting with an impassive expression behind his desk. 
“I’m sorry, Hangman,” Cyclone replied quietly, his tone genuine. “There was nothing that I could do.”
Cyclone had been in Hangman’s position before. Twice, actually. And he didn’t relish in handing any man or woman orders that would take them away from their family. Especially during such an important time. But that came with the industry that they signed up for.
“I was expecting it, sir.”
And that roughly translated to: of course, they wouldn’t let me finally be happy
“Still, I am sorry. I’ve been in your position before and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.”
“Do you know how long I’ll be away?” Jake asked quietly, holding onto a tiny thread of hope. 
“Anywhere from two to eight months. Most likely, somewhere in the middle.” 
You were about six and a half months pregnant now. If he made it back in two months, he could be there for the birth of your child. But Jake knew from experience that he probably wouldn’t be home by then. And what if the baby came early? He’d be cutting it extremely close if he was lucky. 
Worst-case scenario, he would return home to you when the baby was almost six months old. Six months. He would miss your baby growing and learning all about the world around them. He’d come home and the baby would already almost be halfway to a full year old. He’d miss so many milestones, so many little triumphs. 
“Am I excused, sir?”
“Yes, of course. Take the days before you deploy and spend them with your family.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Slowly walking out to his truck with the most defeated feeling of his life, Jake slipped into the driver’s seat of his truck. He just sat there for a minute, processing the news, and trying to get his emotions under control. 
But once the tears started falling, there was nothing that he could do to stop them. 
Resting his head on his fist, Hangman let a batch of tears of complete and utter frustration slip down his cheeks. He slammed his fist onto the steering wheel of his truck before the fight left his body and he slumped against the steering wheel, letting more tears slip down his cheeks. 
How the hell was he going to break the news to you?
~~~~~
The lights were on in your apartment when Jake pulled into the parking lot. He took the key out of the ignition and slowly slid out of his truck. Staring up at the window that showed into your living room, he took a moment to gather himself before heading inside. 
From the outside, you could be seen smiling to yourself, making dinner for the two of you. Your growing and prominent bump was covered by one of Jake’s tee shirts and you wore his ring on your finger proudly. The joy on your features only multiplied when you heard the door unlock and Jake step inside. 
As you hurried to wipe your hands on a towel, Jake set his bag down, and tried to push his emotions aside when he heard your footsteps. And when you came hurrying around the corner, his smile was pained as you ran up to him.
“We got the house!” you yelled, causing Jake’s mind to shift for a moment. “They took our second offer!”
“Really?” Jake breathed out as you nodded, practically bursting with excitement. 
“We bought a house!”
Jake held out his arms and quickly pulled you close to his chest, his mind still on the news that he had to break to you.
The kiss that you initiated was light-hearted and celebratory, full of playful little pecks. But the kiss that Jake returned was one of deep-seated emotion, like he was afraid that you were going to disappear right in front of him. He held you firmly, his arms enveloping your figure and cradling your bump with every touch of protective energy that he possessed in his body. 
You pulled back, your brows furrowed, as you cupped his cheeks with your hands. Staring into his eyes, you rubbed your thumbs along his cheeks. 
“Jake, what’s wrong?”
From the outside, Jake could be seen leading you over to the couch and sitting you down. He forced himself to gather his courage as you looked at him with concern. Letting out a breath, he turned back to you and finally broke the news. 
As he slowly explained the situation, your expression started to change. There was a flash of fear that built and built until a defeated, frustrated look drew your gaze down to your lap. Jake leaned over, whispering soft words until you picked your head up. Forcing a smile to assure Jake that you were alright, you couldn’t help the tears that started slipping down your cheeks. 
Jake wiped them away with his thumb, starting to cry again himself. The two of you shared another kiss before Jake pulled you into his lap. Curling against his chest, you dug your fingers into his shirt, trying to hold in the sobs that were crawling out of your throat. Jake rested his head on top of your own, whispering all kinds of words of reassurance that neither of you truly believed in. 
He had been in this industry since he was eighteen. You grew up around the Navy. 
And you knew what this would mean for your family. 
The two of you sat there, locking in embrace, as the sun started to slip below the horizon. Jake rested his arm around your bump, hoping that your baby would still be there when he returned. He’d never forgive himself if he missed the birth of your child. Especially if anything went wrong. 
He would never forgive himself. 
The sun had completely set when you finally uncurled yourself from Jake’s chest. Sitting up, you brushed your hand through his hair a few times, causing him to close his eyes for a moment. Jake slowly opened his green eyes, the eyes that you quite honestly pictured your baby inheriting, when you removed your hand from his head.
“We have a few days,” you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion as you tried to find the good in the situation. There wasn’t much to be found, and you were really trying your best to not start crying all over again. “What did you want to do with them?” 
“Spend every minute with the two of you.”
“Anything more specific?” you teased him, trying to smile though Jake couldn’t seem to return it. “You want to take a trip or go shopping for some more baby stuff or . . .?”
You trailed off, trying to think of something else when Jake gently grabbed your hand. You looked down as he slowly turned your wrist over and ran his thumb over your engagement ring. Sharing a look with Jake, you felt another batch of tears start to form. 
“I know you mentioned wanting to wait until after the baby was born because it would just be too chaotic to think about now . . . but—”
“—Yes,” you agreed quickly. “I’ll marry you, Jake.” 
He offered you a genuinely touched smile, a different batch of tears coming to his eyes. You wiped them away while you shed some of your own before pulling him in for a soft, loving kiss. And Jake could only pull you closer, savoring one of his last opportunities to do so. Breaking away a few moments later, you flashed him a painful smile.
“I guess I should find a dress.” 
~~~~~
Sitting with your head in your hands at Bradley and Emma’s kitchen table, you tried to not let your stress show. Everyone was giving you looks like they were waiting for you to finally break and you just frankly did not have the time. 
You were marrying Jake that afternoon and you didn’t have a wedding dress to get married in. 
The day before the two of you had run around like crazy people, making sure that all of the necessary documents were being prepared for the closing of your house. Then you spent time at his lawyer’s office, signing off on wills and other documents to protect yourselves and the baby while Jake was away. And you did a fair amount of crying along the way and so here you were, still without a dress. 
“I just don’t know where I’m going to find a white dress that fits me in time,” you told Penny, picking your head up from your hands. 
“We’ll figure something out,” she assured you, squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can find a dress down at one of the department stores in town.” 
“And what if we don’t find something?”
“We’ll find something,” Emma said from your other side. “You’ll have a white dress for this wedding.”
“What about this one?” Bradley called, causing the three of you to turn to him. 
Your brother held up the vacuum sealed bag that contained your mother’s wedding dress from her own wedding in 1983. It used to sit in your apartment closet, up until you moved in with Jake and were pretty much forced to hand it over to Bradley since you didn’t have any space in the apartment. 
After your mom’s death, you knew that you would incorporate her dress into your own in some way. Perhaps with a bit of fabric. Or you would borrow the veil. Something small that would have her with you on your special day, but also not holding you back with eighties fashion. 
You never really pictured actually getting married in your mom’s wedding dress.
For one thing, there was the little detail that your mom was over five months pregnant when she married your dad. 
Apparently, shotgun weddings and unplanned pregnancies ran in the family. 
Walking over to your brother, you inspected your mother’s wedding dress a little closer. It was fitted at the bust, but even with the slight cinch at the hips, the fabric was loose. It had to be. Bradley’s fat ass had to be accommodated. The skirt was a bit full, but nothing crazy. The bodice was covered in delicate lace and it had the distinct puffy sleeves from the eighties. 
“Mom’s dress,” you said quietly, turning to your brother. “You think I should wear Mom’s dress?” 
“It’s the only suggestion I have,” Bradley replied softly. And when he saw a flash of doubt in your eyes, he asked, “What’s wrong?” 
“I just don’t want to ruin it,” you replied, running your fingers along it. 
“You’re not going to ruin it,” Bradley assured you, causing you to turn back to him. “She always said that she would have married Dad in a potato sack. She didn’t care about the dress. She just wanted to get married, that was all.” 
“She never cared about any of that,” you agreed, sniffling a bit. Wiping your tears away, you croaked out, “I just wish she was here.” 
Bradley pulled you in for a tight brotherly hug that you quickly returned. Emma carefully took the dress from Bradley’s hand, letting him properly hug you. You held onto your brother and sobbed, your promise to yourself about not breaking down falling to little pieces at your feet. 
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair how Jake got called up for deployment when you were nearing your third trimester. It wasn’t fair how the two of you had to cobble together some random ceremony at the last minute. It wasn’t fair how you couldn’t have your parents at your wedding. It wasn’t fair how you could have your baby without Jake by your side for months.
And it all just came rushing out as your big brother protectively hugged you in the middle of his kitchen. 
“It’s going to be alright,” he told you, sharing a worried look with Emma. “You’ll see.” 
“I’ve lost enough. I just wanted to win this one time, Brad,” you sobbed, causing your brother to start to tear up too. “I just wanted him here for a few more months. That’s all I needed.” 
“I know, I know,” he told you, rubbing your back. “It’s going to be alright.” 
The two of you stood there for a few moments, maybe even minutes as you cried and Bradley tried his best to comfort you.
“And Mom and Dad aren’t here to walk me down the aisle,” you continued on, sniffling repeatedly. 
“I cried about that too, on my wedding day,” Bradley told you quietly, voice thick with emotion. “But they’re both here. And they both wouldn’t want you to cry like this on your wedding day.”
“I know,” you whispered, wiping your tears away. 
Giving your brother another hug, you stepped back and turned to see Penny, Emma, and Sarah, who had come in while you were crying to Bradley, standing there, waiting for you. 
“So, do you want to wear your mom’s dress?” Emma asked softly, holding it up for you. 
“Yeah,” you agreed with a small smile, wiping some more tears away. “I’ll wear my mom’s wedding dress.”
Penny walked over and gave you a tight hug before leading you over to the guest bedroom with Sarah and Emma trailing after the two of you. 
“We’ll get you fitted into the dress and while Sarah’s sewing it up, you hop in the shower and get all of the tears and snot off of your face and then we’ll really start getting you ready, alright?”
~~~~~
“. . . and that was how I met your mom,” Jake recorded his own voice, sitting in your shared apartment. 
With you at Bradley and Emma’s house to get ready, Jake was taking the opportunity to put together a little gift for you. He ordered a set of headphones for your bump and now he was recording little messages to your baby. 
Saving that message, Jake was about to start another one when there was a knock on the door. He got up from his seat and walked over, letting Javy in. Just like him, Javy was dressed in his dress whites and he offered Jake a smile of condolence as he walked into the apartment. 
“How’re you doing?”
“I’ve been recording messages. For the baby,” Jake replied softly, shutting the door. “For her to play when I’m deployed.” 
“How many do you have now?” 
“Six,” Jake stated, showing Javy his phone. “I’m hoping to record a few more before I leave.” 
“I’m sorry, Jake,” Javy stated quietly, trying to not let defeat enter his tone. Jake’s expression already had too much of it for Javy’s taste. “You should get to be there. And there’s still a chance, but this isn’t fair and you have the right to be pissed about it.” 
“I’m not even angry anymore. I’m just . . . depressed,” Jake returned quietly. “And I’m worried about her. I’m terrified that this is going to push her into early labor or hurt the baby or something like that.” 
“We’ve already passed around a sign up sheet,” Javy told Jake, who looked at his best friend with a measure of confusion. “Every day, at least one of us is going to stop by and spend time with her. Check on her. Help her with anything that she needs help with. Make sure that she and the baby are alright. She’s not going to be left here alone.” 
Jake nodded slowly, tears threatening to fall. He bit his lip, trying to hold it in, but when Javy pulled him into a tight hug, Jake let a few fall. 
“I’m so sorry, Jake,” Javy repeated sorrowfully. 
Straightening up after a few solemn moments, the two aviators collected themselves before Javy put on a brave face for his best friend. Looking around the apartment, Javy turned back to Jake. 
“So, you got the rings?”
“Yeah, we bought them yesterday,” Jake replied, walking over to your bedroom. 
He pulled out a fabric bag and handed it over to Javy, who opened it and dropped the rings into his hand. To match your engagement ring, the two of you bought silver wedding bands. They were simple, traditional wedding bands, but when Jake got back, the two of you were already discussing getting something engraved on the inside of them. 
But right now, the most important fact was that the two of you got married today. All the other details could come later. 
“Anything else that you’re supposed to bring?” Javy asked, handing the bag back to Jake. “You got all of the paperwork?” 
“Right here,” Jake replied, picking up a folder from the kitchen counter. “I’m just waiting for the text to start heading down there.” 
“Go record your messages to your kid then. I’m going to call Nat,” Javy told Jake before heading out of the apartment. 
Pulling out his phone, Javy pressed Phoenix’s contact and held the phone to his ear as he walked over to the stairwell. After a few rings, Phoenix picked up the call. 
“Hey, you at Jake’s?” she answered quietly. 
“Yeah, I am.” 
“How is he?” 
“He’s fucking broken, Nat,” Javy sighed, rubbing his face. “I’ve never seen him look this defeated before.” After a pause, Javy asked, “How’s she doing? Did you make it to Rooster and Emma’s place?”
“They’re doing some quick alterations to her dress. And Emma is doing her hair and makeup right now. So, we’ll probably be heading out within an hour.” Phoenix took a moment before adding, “She’s trying to pretend like she’s okay but Rooster said that she had a bit of a breakdown earlier.” 
“But she’s okay now?”
“Physically, yeah, she’s fine. Emotionally, I’m worried. But Penny’s keeping a close eye on her.” 
“I just feel so bad for them.” 
“I know, me too,” Phoenix replied softly. “Where’s Jake now?” 
“Don’t tell her because I’m pretty sure that he wants to make it a surprise, but he’s recording messages to their baby for her to play while he’s gone.” 
“Jesus Christ,” Phoenix sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe that he has to leave tomorrow. They can’t even fully enjoy their wedding night.” 
“I know,” Javy sighed, glancing down the hall at your and Jake’s apartment. “I’m going to go check on him again. Text me when you guys are heading down to Town Hall.” 
“Yeah, I’ll let you know.” 
“I love you.” 
“I love you too.” 
~~~~~
You sat in Emma and Bradley’s bathroom as Emma applied some eyeshadow to your eyelids. She had already braided your hair into a simple updo with some help from Phoenix before working on your makeup.
“Alright, no more crying, okay?” Emma stated as she pulled out your eyeliner and mascara. “Once this is on your face, no more tears.” 
“I’ll try my best,” you returned quietly. 
Closing your eyes as Emma applied your eyeliner, you could hear the sound of footsteps down the hall. When Emma told you that you could open your eyes, you turned your head to see Maverick standing at the entrance to the bathroom. He was already in his dress whites and offered you a supportive smile.
“Hey, Mav,” you called to him before Emma turned your head to apply your mascara. 
“How’re you feeling?” 
“Like I’m tired of everyone asking me that question,” you replied, causing a small smile to crack at Maverick’s lips. 
“Did you find something to wear?” 
“I’m wearing Mom’s dress,” you replied, turning back to him after Emma removed the mascara brush. “Sarah and Penny are fixing it up quickly right now in the guest room.” 
“You’re wearing your mom’s dress?” 
“With a few alterations. I had the sleeves cut off,” you explained, causing Maverick to nod slowly. “But it actually fits pretty well. Turns out that my baby at almost seven months is about the same size as Bradley when he was five months.”  
“He was a big baby,” Maverick replied, missing Emma’s wince. 
“You think that she ever pictured me walking down the aisle in it?” you asked Maverick as Emma finished up with your eye makeup. 
“She was probably hoping that you’d get married first and pregnant second.” 
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” you returned with a shrug of your shoulders, causing you and Maverick to share a quiet laugh. 
“Well, Phoenix bought you a bouquet. And are you wearing a veil?”
“No, it was just another thing to worry about.” 
“Then that should be everything. Do you need anything else before I start rounding everyone up?” Maverick inquired, straightening up. 
“Yeah, actually.” 
“What is it?” 
“Can you help walk me down the aisle?” you asked him, causing Maverick to freeze. 
“Of course, I will,” Maverick promised you.
Emma stepped aside and you slowly stood up to accept Maverick’s tight hug. You returned it, trying not to cry, but Maverick let a few tears slip from his eyes for the both of you. He slowly pulled away, holding you at arm’s length. 
It was hard to believe that the little girl who he remembered learning how to walk, who asked him to help put her tiara on properly, was now pregnant and getting married. Goose’s little girl was all grown up. Carole’s little girl was all grown up. 
And Maverick knew that he was going to cry about it. 
“You’re going to make such a beautiful bride.” 
“Thanks, Mav,” you returned, pulling him in for another tight hug. 
“Alright,” Maverick sniffled, slowly releasing you. He quickly dried some tears before stepping out of the bathroom. “I’m going to go and make sure that everyone’s where they’re supposed to be and leave you to finish getting ready.” 
“Bye, Mav.” 
You waited for him to go before turning back to Emma, who put the final touches on your makeup. Dabbing your lip color a bit more, she smiled and stepped back. 
“There, you’re all set. Let’s get you dressed.” 
~~~~~
Bradley drove you down to Town Hall in the Bronco because it just felt like the proper send off. Accepting his hand, the two of you started walking up to the building. Turning to your brother with a nervous smile as you linked your arms together, you poked him in the side. 
“Can I ask you something, Brad?” 
“Of course, I’ll act as your getaway driver,” he joked, helping you up the stairs. 
“Actually, will you help walk me down the aisle?” you asked him, causing him to pause for a moment. “I asked Maverick to walk me too, but I have two arms.” 
“You’re sure that you want me to walk you down?” Bradley questioned, turning back to the stairs. “I mean, I know I wasn’t the most supportive of you and Jake in the past. And I just offered to be your getaway driver.” 
“I know, but I want you to walk me down. You’re my big brother, Brad.” 
“Are you trying to get me to cry?” Rooster jokingly asked, refusing to look over at you, because he knew that he would actually start crying if he did. “But, of course, I’ll help walk you down the aisle. I promised you when we were kids, didn’t I?” 
“You did.” 
Maverick met the two of you up at the top of the stairs. You looped your other arm through his own and shared smiles with your family before the three of you walked inside Town Hall. They led you through the building and to the ceremony room. Standing in front of the big doors, you took a moment to gather yourself.
“You ready?” Maverick asked you softly, causing you to smile and nod.
“I’m ready.” 
The doors opened and you turned forward to see Jake waiting there for you, dressed in his immaculate dress whites, looking like a dream. There was a small crowd of friends and family, but the two of you were only focused on each other. 
You offered Jake a small smile, letting a few tears drip down that you’d held in for the sake of your makeup. Jake rubbed his chin, trying desperately not to cry himself, but there you were, dressed in a white dress, looking like a goddess with your prominent baby bump where your shared child was growing. 
And he started silently sobbing himself. 
Reaching the end of the aisle, you accepted kisses on your cheeks from both Bradley and Mav before Jake gently took your hand into his own. The two of you stepped up onto the very small stage and faced each other as the officiant began the short service.
You reached up and wiped Jake’s tears away with your hands and as you tried not to cry too many of your own. The two of you repeated your vows clearly and without hesitation as you slipped your wedding bands onto each other’s fingers. Holding hands in front of your closest friends and family, you smiled widely as the officiant got to the end. 
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may—”
Jake’s lips pressed against your own before the officiant even finished his sentence. You smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as your friends and family cheered for the two of you. 
“I love you,” you told Jake as he broke away and rested his forehead against your own. 
“I love you too,” he returned softly, stealing another kiss. “My wife.”
~~~~~
“I have a wedding present for you,” you told Jake that night as the two of you laid in bed. 
You rolled to the end of your bed and slowly got up, walking over to your dresser. Jake sat up from his own spot, watching you curiously. 
“You had time to get me something?”
“I picked it up yesterday.” 
Pulling out a simple plain white envelope, you walked over to Jake’s side and sat down beside him. Jake took the envelope from your hand and paused when he saw the logo from your obstetrician’s office. 
“What is this?” he asked you quietly, an edge of concern in his voice. 
“I wanted to wait to find out the baby’s gender until they were born,” you started off with, causing Jake to nod slowly. “But I also want us to be the first two people to find out. And just in case—” 
Your voice broke and you cut yourself off as emotion clogged your throat. Jake quickly swooped in and pulled you in for a hug and a soft kiss. You rested your head against his shoulder, staring down at the envelope as you gathered yourself. 
“It’s your choice, Jake. We can find out now or we can find out when the baby’s born.”
Jake looked down at the simple little white envelope in his hands. You didn’t move to rush him, but you sat up more when Jake pulled the paper out of the envelope. Turning to you, he held out the piece of paper and motioned for you to take the other side. 
“On three,” he stated, causing you to nod. 
The two of you counted down together before you opened it together. Staring at the simple message written there, you let out an incredulous laugh and Jake pressed a series of kisses to your cheek and neck as he pulled you into his lap.
“I knew it,” he breathed out, resting his hand on top of your bump.  
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” you asked him, causing him to shake his head. You let out a bright laugh, some joy returning to you. “We’re having a girl, Jake.” 
“I’ve been telling you,” he insisted, causing you to jokingly nudge him. The two of you shared a soft series of kisses before Jake pulled back. “We’re having a little girl.” 
“She’s going to be a handful.” 
“That was going to be true regardless,” Jake reminded you, causing you to laugh again and sink into his arms once more. “I love you so much.” 
“I love you too.” 
“And I love our daughter so much.” 
“She knows that, Jake,” you replied softly, pressing a kiss to his chest. “She knows.” 
~~~~~
Jake barely slept that night. 
The two of you discussed it the night before and agreed that it would be less stressful on you and the baby for him to leave on his own in the early morning. You said your goodbyes the night before and Jake managed to coax you to sleep after another round of tears and kisses.
Getting up before his alarm, Jake took a quick shower and got dressed in his uniform. His bag was already packed and all he had to do was say goodbye to you and your daughter. 
But that was going to be a difficult process. 
Kneeling on the floor in front of you, Jake rested his hand on your bump and pressed a kiss to your skin before moving his hand around some more. He let a few tears drop as he tried to feel your daughter moving around to no avail. 
“I’ll be back, Baby Girl, alright? I just have to go take care of some things, that’s all.” Jake took a moment and a deep breath before adding, “You’re going to be a good girl for your mom, right? Let her sleep at night and don’t dance on her bladder, okay?” 
Removing his hands from your bump and moving to stand, Jake looked up at your peaceful expression one last time before turning back to your bump. 
“I love you so much, sweetheart. And I’ll be back. Don’t you ever think that I’m abandoning you, okay? I’ll be back.” 
Jake stood up and leaned over to press a soft kiss to your face. Not wanting to risk waking you up, he withdrew and let out a quiet sigh.
“I love you, Honey. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
A few moments after Jake reluctantly left for base, you snuggled into your pillow, still deeply asleep. As you continued to snooze, there was a small press on your skin, like a little fist was waving goodbye, before it slowly sank back down. 
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midastouch013 · 1 month
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"Find Me Attractive Again"
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Based on this request
Summary: You had a wonderful girlfriend, and so what happens when you discover she has an eating disorder
Warnings: Eating disorder, Hurt Nat, Sad Nat, Neglecting Y/n. Panic Attacks. Purging, throwing up. Major hurt/comfort, from both sides.
P.S I wasn't really satisfied with the ending, so I apologise. I also took my own spin on it since it was kind vague, so I hope you like it'.
P.S.S And also, after such heavy fics, I'd really like for someone to drop me a fluffy one, Not just Nat, any Marvel woman please.
-----------
It was a typical summer day in New York City when your paths first crossed. You, wrapped up in the chaos of your medical residency, were rushing through the streets, white coat flapping behind you like a superhero’s cape, while Natasha Romanoff, the infamous Black Widow, was navigating the crowds with the ease of someone who had seen it all.
It was at a street corner where fate decided to intervene, in the form of an iced coffee and a collision. Natasha, in her sleek elegance, accidentally bumped into you, sending her cold drink cascading down your front.
“Shit, I’m so sorry!” Her voice was a mix of genuine contrition and a hint of amusement.
You blinked, the cold seeping through your shirt, but you couldn’t help but chuckle at the situation. “Well, at least it’s a hot day,” you replied, trying to brush off the mess.
Natasha quickly handed you some napkins, her green eyes twinkling with amusement. "You're a humour one I see"
"That I am" you grinned "I've also cost you your coffee"
Natasha went to open her mouth, but you spoke instead.
“Let me make it up to you. Can I buy you another drink?”
"But I'm the one who spilt mine on you?" her eyebrow raised as she questioned.
"And?"
"I should be the one buying for you?"
You're smile didn't falter " Where's the chivalry in that?"
And that was the start of it all. What began as a clumsy encounter turned into a friendship neither of you expected. Natasha’s charm, mixed with her trademark snark, drew you in like a moth to a flame. Soon, the two of you were spending your precious free time together, swapping stories over drinks or taking long walks through the city.
Despite her guarded nature, Natasha opened up to you in ways she hadn’t with anyone else. You became her confidante, her sanctuary in a world filled with chaos and danger. And in turn, you found solace in her presence, a respite from the relentless demands of your residency.
As your friendship deepened, so did your feelings for her. You found yourself falling for the enigmatic Avenger, captivated by her strength, her wit, and the vulnerability she only showed to you. And one day, gathering every ounce of courage you had, you asked her out on a date.
To your delight, Natasha said yes, her smile lighting up the room in a way you had never seen before. And just like that, your friendship blossomed into something more, a new chapter in both of your lives.
Now, as you walked hand in hand through the bustling streets of New York, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. With Natasha by your side, you felt invincible, ready to take on whatever challenges life threw your way.
Little did you know, however, that behind the redhead’s confident facade lay a secret she was desperate to keep hidden. An invisible battle she fought every day, one that threatened to consume her from within.
And so, all it would take for you to find out, as a plate of untouched food, and certain other stuff
---
The elevator door opened with a ding, admitting you into the familiar warmth of your shared home (Floor in the compound that Tony had so happily given) with Natasha. The faint scent of breakfast lingered in the air, a reminder of the meal you had meticulously prepared before your short 12-hour shift at the hospital.
But as you stepped further into the living space, your brow furrowed in confusion. The plate of food you had set out for Natasha sat untouched on the dining table, a solitary fork resting against the edge.
"Nat?" you called out, your voice echoing in the quiet apartment. There was no response, just the eerie stillness of an empty room.
Concern gnawed at the edges of your mind as you ventured further into the living space, scanning every corner for any sign of your elusive girlfriend. But Natasha was nowhere to be found.
However, before you could think what to do next, the sound of retching echoed through the apartment, sending a shiver of dread down your spine. Without a moment's hesitation, you bolted towards the bathroom, your heart pounding in your chest.
As you flung open the door, the sight that greeted you was enough to make your stomach churn. There stood Natasha, hunched over the toilet, her face contorted in agony as she forced herself to purge.
Instinct took over as you rushed to her side, your hands reaching out to grasp hers and pull them away from her mouth. "Nat, stop," you urged, your voice laced with urgency and concern.
For a moment, she resisted, the muscles in her arm tense with the effort of her struggle. But slowly, reluctantly, she relented, allowing you to pry her fingers away from their self-destructive task.
The sight of her trembling form, tears glistening in her eyes, tore at your heartstrings like nothing else. You wanted to wrap her in your arms, to shield her from the demons that haunted her, but you knew that this was a battle she had to fight on her own terms.
Gently, you guided her away from the toilet, leading her to the sink where you wet a washcloth and pressed it against her clammy forehead. "It's okay, Nat," you murmured, your voice a soothing balm against the turmoil raging within her.
As you helped Natasha up from the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, her silence weighed heavily in the air, a palpable barrier between you. You guided her to the bed, her movements sluggish and unsteady, and gently urged her to sit down while you prepared a bath.
With practiced efficiency, you filled the tub with warm water, adding a few drops of lavender oil to help soothe her frazzled nerves. But as you turned to help Natasha undress, you noticed the way she recoiled from your touch, her body tensing at the slightest contact.
Your heart ached at the sight, a pang of sadness settling in the pit of your stomach. You had always prided yourself on being there for Natasha, on offering her the unwavering support and love she so desperately needed. But now, faced with her silent withdrawal, you felt utterly helpless, like a bystander watching helplessly as a storm raged on the horizon.
With a heavy sigh, you stepped back, giving Natasha the space she seemed to need. You watched in silence as she rose from the bed, her movements slow and deliberate, before making her way to the bathroom.
It was only then that you noticed the small click of the lock as she closed the door behind her, a barrier sealing her off from the outside world. The realization hit you like a punch to the gut, a stark reminder of the walls Natasha had built around herself, walls that even you, with all your love and devotion, could not penetrate.
For a moment, you stood there in the empty room, the weight of Natasha's silence bearing down on you like a leaden cloak. But then, with a resolute shake of your head, you pushed aside your own doubts and fears, determined to stand by her side no matter what.
Taking a deep breath, you squared your shoulders and made your way to the bathroom door, your hand poised to knock. But at the last moment, you hesitated, the sound of running water and Natasha's soft sobs echoing through the wood.
But when the sound of retching pierced through the closed bathroom door, a surge of panic shot through you like a bolt of lightning. Without a second thought, you abandoned your plans to change and rushed back to the bathroom, your heart pounding in your chest.
With a swift motion, you twisted the doorknob, but to your dismay, it refused to budge. Locked. The realization sent a fresh wave of fear coursing through your veins, igniting a primal instinct to protect Natasha at all costs.
"Nat, open the door!" you called out, your voice tinged with desperation. But there was no response, just the sickening sound of her struggle echoing through the small space.
With a burst of adrenaline-fueled determination, you threw your weight against the door, the wood groaning in protest as it gave way beneath your force. For a moment, everything seemed to blur together in a haze of motion and sound, until finally, the door swung open with a resounding crash.
And there she was, hunched over the toilet once more, her body wracked with violent spasms as she forced herself to purge. Without hesitation, you rushed to her side, your hands reaching out to grasp hers and pull them away from their self-destructive task.
"Nat, please stop," you pleaded, your voice cracking with emotion. But this time, there was no resistance, no struggle against your touch. Instead, Natasha collapsed against you, her tears mingling with the cool touch of your skin.
With a sense of resolve, you refused to leave Natasha alone in the bathroom this time. Instead, you stayed by her side, offering silent support as she struggled with the demons that haunted her.
As the water continued to run, filling the tub with warm, comforting steam, you gently guided Natasha towards it. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes cast downwards, before finally sinking into the water with a heavy sigh.
You stood by the tub, your presence a silent reassurance as Natasha submerged herself beneath the surface, her shoulders tense with the weight of her burdens. With a soft exhale, you reached for the shampoo, pouring a small amount into your palm before lathering it into her hair with gentle, soothing strokes.
"I won't look," you murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I promise."
Natasha remained silent, her gaze fixed on some distant point beyond the confines of the bathroom. But you could sense the tension in her body, the invisible barriers she had erected to keep you at arm's length.
Undeterred, you continued to wash her hair, your fingers working through the tangles with practiced precision. With each stroke, you hoped to chip away at the walls she had built around herself, to offer her a glimpse of the love and acceptance that lay waiting on the other side.
But despite your best efforts, Natasha remained distant, her silence a heavy weight in the air between you. It was as if she had retreated into herself, lost in the labyrinth of her own thoughts and fears.
With a heavy heart, you finished washing her hair, rinsing away the suds with gentle care. Then, reaching for the washcloth, you began to bathe her body, moving with slow, deliberate motions as you washed away the stains of the outside world.
Gently, you lifted Natasha from the bathtub, her body feeling almost weightless in your arms. The sight of her frail form, bones protruding beneath the thin veil of her skin, sent a shiver of concern down your spine. It was a stark reminder of the toll her eating disorder had taken on her body, a silent battle she fought day in and day out.
With tender care, you carried her back to the bed, laying her down with the utmost gentleness. You tucked the blankets around her, the soft fabric a comforting cocoon against the cold reality of her struggles.
As Natasha lay there, her eyes distant and unfocused, you made your way to the kitchen, your mind racing with thoughts of how to help her. You knew that she needed nourishment, both for her body and her soul, but convincing her to eat was a battle in itself.
With a determined resolve, you rummaged through the pantry, searching for something light and easy to stomach. Finally, you settled on a plate of sliced fruit, the vibrant colors a stark contrast to the darkness that threatened to consume Natasha from within.
Returning to the bedroom, you found Natasha still lying there, her gaze fixed on some invisible point in the distance. Carefully, you placed the plate of fruit on the bedside table, hoping that the sight of it would stir something within her.
"Nat," you said softly, your voice a gentle reminder of your presence. "I brought you a snack. It's just some fruit. Would you like some?"
For a moment, there was no response, just the steady rise and fall of Natasha's chest as she breathed in and out. But then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, she reached out a trembling hand, fingers curling around a slice of apple.
You held your breath, watching intently as Natasha brought the fruit to her lips, her movements hesitant and uncertain. But then, with a small nod of encouragement from you, she took a tentative bite, the sweetness of the apple filling the air between you.
A sense of relief washed over you as you watched Natasha eat, each bite a small victory in the battle against her eating disorder.
As Natasha slowly nibbled on the fruit, you settled beside her on the bed, the familiar weight of her body a comforting anchor in the storm of uncertainty. With a soft click of the remote, you turned on the television, the familiar theme song of F.R.I.E.N.D.S filling the room with its nostalgic melody.
You glanced over at Natasha, her gaze fixed on the screen, her lips curved ever so slightly in the beginnings of a smile. It was a small victory, a glimmer of light in the darkness that threatened to consume her.
With a tender smile of your own, you wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close against your side. The warmth of her body pressed against yours, the steady rhythm of her breath a soothing lullaby in the quiet of the night.
Together, you watched as the familiar antics of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe unfolded on the screen before you. The laughter of the characters, the camaraderie of their friendships, served as a reminder of the bonds that held you and Natasha together, even in the darkest of times.
And as the episode came to an end, you turned to Natasha, the ghost of a smile still lingering on her lips. "Feeling a little better?" you asked softly, your voice a gentle caress against the silence of the room.
Natasha hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickering with uncertainty. But then, with a small nod of her head, she leaned into your embrace, her body relaxing against yours.
It was a small victory, a flicker of hope in the midst of despair. But for now, in this moment of quiet intimacy, it was enough. Together, you would face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that came your way. As you snuggled into Natasha, the fragile contours of her body pressed against yours, you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. With each delicate curve of her form, you could feel the sharp edges of her bones, a painful reminder of the toll her eating disorder had taken on her.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you held her close, the weight of her fragility pressing down on you like a leaden weight. "Why, Nat?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "Why do you do this to yourself?"
For a moment, there was only silence, the weight of Natasha's unspoken pain hanging heavy in the air between you. But then, as your grip tightened around her, almost as if you were clinging to her for dear life, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I..." she began, her words faltering as if caught in the tangled web of her thoughts. But then, with a small shake of her head, she fell silent once more, the words hanging between you like an unspoken promise.
--
As you thought Natasha had drifted off to sleep, you reached for your phone, the glow of the screen illuminating the dimly lit room. With a deep breath, you dialed the number for the hospital, your heart pounding in your chest as you prepared to make a decision that would change everything.
"Hello, this is Dr. Y/l/n," you began, your voice steady despite the nerves that churned in the pit of your stomach. "I need to take the next month off."
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, followed by the sound of a hesitant voice. "Dr. Y/l/n, are you sure? We're short-staffed as it is, and your patients—"
"I'm sure," you interrupted, your tone firm and unwavering. "I've already made up my mind."
The person on the other end of the line hesitated, clearly taken aback by your sudden decision. "But Dr. Y/l/n you're one of our top surgeons. We can't afford to lose you—"
"I understand that," you replied, your voice tinged with frustration. "But right now, I need to take care of someone who needs me more than anyone else."
There was a moment of silence as the gravity of your words hung heavy in the air between you. And then, with a resigned sigh, the person on the other end of the line relented, agreeing to grant you the time off on the condition that you'd go unpaid for the month.
As you ended the call, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. You knew that taking time off from the hospital was a risk, but in that moment, the only thing that mattered was being there for Natasha when she needed you most.
But as you turned to check on her, you realized that she had been awake the whole time, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Natasha's voice cut through the silence of the room, her words heavy with emotion. "Why did you do that?" she asked, her eyes searching yours for answers.
You met her gaze, the weight of her question hanging heavy in the air between you. Taking a deep breath, you reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, your fingers lingering against her cheek.
"Because you needed me," you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "Because I love you, Natasha, and I would do anything for you."
Tears welled in Natasha's eyes as she listened to your words, her expression a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. "For everything."
As Natasha's words hung in the air, a heavy silence settled between you, punctuated only by the soft hum of the room's ventilation system. You could see the turmoil swirling behind her eyes, the weight of her burdens threatening to crush her beneath their weight.
"Why did you do that, Natasha?" you asked gently, your voice laced with concern. "Why do you hurt yourself like this?"
Natasha hesitated for a moment, her gaze drifting away from yours as she searched for the words to explain the unexplainable. "It's… it's complicated," she began, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Try me," you urged, your tone soft and understanding. "I want to understand, Natasha. I want to help you."
With a heavy sigh, Natasha began to speak, her words halting and uncertain at first, but gaining strength with each passing moment. "It's not just me," she confessed, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's… it's the comments, the stares, the whispers behind my back."
Your heart ached as you listened to her words, the pain and anguish etched into every syllable. You knew all too well the harsh realities of the world Natasha inhabited, the constant scrutiny and judgment that followed her wherever she went.
"It's like… like I'm never good enough," Natasha continued, her voice cracking with emotion. "No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I achieve, it's never enough. And the news, they… they only make it worse."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you watched Natasha unravel before you, the weight of her suffering a burden too heavy for her to bear alone. In that moment, you felt a surge of anger rise up within you, a burning indignation at the injustices Natasha had endured.
"And..." She trailed off
"And?" You pulled her into your arms, holding her close as if to show that you were there for her. You could feel the ache in her voice, the raw vulnerability laid bare before you.
"I just... You," Natasha began, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "You used to look at me with such... such longing. You'd initiate everything, your touch, your kisses... But lately, it's like you don't even see me anymore."
Your heart clenched at her words, unsure of what to do or say.
"I thought... I thought maybe it was because of how I looked," Natasha continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought if I worked out more, if I stopped eating, if I... if I purged, maybe you'd find me attractive again."
Your breath caught in your throat at her confession, the pain of her self-inflicted suffering tearing at your heartstrings. How could she think such a thing? How could she believe that her worth was tied to her appearance?
But you remained silent, allowing Natasha to speak, to purge the demons that haunted her soul. For in that moment, you realized that the only way to help her heal was to listen, to truly listen, without judgment or condemnation.
"I just wanted to be enough for you," Natasha whispered, her voice breaking with emotion. "But I was so wrong, wasn't I? I was so wrong."
And as she buried her face in her hands, her words seemed to sink in, making you feel like the ground beneath you is crumbling away, leaving you adrift in a sea of guilt and self-loathing.
Your hands trembled as you pushed yourself away from Natasha, the weight of her words crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You stumbled backward, your eyes wide with shock as you realized the role you had played in her pain.
"Oh my god," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the sound of your own ragged breaths. " I did that"
Natasha's eyes widened in concern as she watched you retreat, her voice tinged with fear. "Y/n? Are you okay?"
But you couldn't answer, couldn't bring yourself to face her, not when the guilt threatened to suffocate you. You hated yourself in that moment, hated the way you had let work consume you, the way you had neglected the person you loved most in the world.
And then it hit you, a wave of overwhelming emotion crashing over you like a tsunami. You sank to the floor, your body racked with sobs as the weight of your own self-loathing bore down on you like a heavy burden.
Natasha's voice was a distant echo in the darkness, her words lost amidst the chaos of your own thoughts. But you could feel her presence beside you, her hand reaching out to touch your shoulder in a silent gesture of comfort and support.
But you couldn't bear it, couldn't bear the thought of her touching you, not when you were the reason she was in pain. So you pushed her away, stumbling to your feet and retreating further into the shadows.
"I'm sorry," you choked out, your voice barely audible above the storm of your own despair. "I'm so sorry, Natasha. I didn't mean to… I didn't know…"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the words tumbled from your lips in a frantic mantra, each repetition a desperate plea for forgiveness. But the only one you blamed was yourself, your own self-loathing swallowing you whole.
Natasha's voice was a distant echo in the chaos of your mind, her words lost in the tumult of your own despair. But you could feel her presence beside you, a steady anchor in the storm.
But even as she reached out to comfort you, you recoiled from her touch, the weight of your guilt too heavy to bear. You felt betrayed by yourself, , the person who had allowed this to happen.
"I'm sorry," you choked out once more, your voice hoarse with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Natasha. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to…"
But the words fell flat, empty and hollow in the face of your own self-condemnation. And as you sank further into the darkness, the weight of your own despair threatening to consume you, you knew that there was no escape from the demons that haunted you.
"Y/n, listen to me," Natasha's voice was firm, cutting through the haze of panic that clouded your mind. "You need to breathe. Deep breaths, okay?"
You nodded, your chest heaving as you struggled to regain control of your racing heart.
"That's it," she encouraged, her voice a soothing balm against the storm raging within you. "Inhale... and exhale. You're okay, I've got you."
You focused on her words, on the steady rhythm of her breathing, allowing them to anchor you in the present moment.
"I'm not going anywhere, Y/n," Natasha continued, her grip on your hand reassuringly firm. "I'm right here with you, and I'm not letting you go."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you clung to her, the weight of your own self-loathing threatening to crush you beneath its suffocating embrace.
"I'm so sorry, Natasha," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "I didn't-"
Natasha silenced you with a gentle finger against your lips, her eyes soft with understanding. "Shh, it's okay," she murmured.
With trembling hands, you grasped Natasha's palms in yours, feeling the warmth of her touch seeping into your skin like sunlight breaking through storm clouds. Without a word, you pulled her into a tight embrace, needing to feel the steady rhythm of her heartbeat against your chest.
"I love you, Tasha," you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion. "I love you more than anything in this world."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you pressed kisses against her forehead, her cheeks, her neck, each touch a silent testament to the depth of your love for her.
"I'm sorry for everything," you murmured between kisses, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry for making you feel unloved, for neglecting you when you needed me most. I promise, I'll do better. I'll be better for you, for us."
Natasha's arms tightened around you, her own tears mingling with yours as she buried her face against your chest. "I love you too, Y/n," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "And I forgive you. We'll get through this together, I promise."
---
Over the next few days, you devoted yourself wholeheartedly to supporting Natasha, determined to make amends for your past neglect. You woke up early to prepare nutritious meals for her, ensuring that she had the sustenance she needed to fuel her body and soul.
You gently guided her through each day, offering words of encouragement and reassurance whenever she needed them. You deleted all the news apps from her phone, shielding her from the harsh judgments and scrutiny of the outside world.
And when you learned of the agents who had dared to badmouth Natasha, you wasted no time in tracking them down and giving them a piece of your mind. With a fiery determination burning in your eyes, you confronted them head-on, refusing to let them tarnish Natasha's reputation any further.
"You have no idea what she's been through," you spat, your voice laced with righteous anger. "She's one of the strongest, most resilient people I know, and she deserves nothing but respect."
The agents cowered before you, their faces pale with guilt and shame. And as you walked away, leaving them to ponder the consequences of their actions, you felt a sense of satisfaction wash over you.
Every time you sensed Natasha spiraling, you were there, a steady anchor in her stormy sea. You showered her with kisses, peppering her face with affectionate gestures, a silent reminder of the love that enveloped her. Your touch was a constant presence, your fingers entwined with hers or softly tracing patterns on her skin, a tangible reassurance that you were there for her, always.
You made sure she had everything she needed, anticipating her wants before she even voiced them. Whether it was a warm meal or a comforting hug, you were always one step ahead, ready to offer her solace in her moments of need.
But even as you tended to her, Natasha noticed the turmoil brewing beneath your surface. Despite your smiles and jokes, she saw the shadows lurking in your eyes, the weight of your own struggles weighing heavily on your shoulders. And though you tried to hide it, she knew that your sleepless nights were spent wrestling with demons of your own.
---
As the time came for you to return to work after a month of devoted care for Natasha, a sense of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. The thought of leaving her alone, vulnerable to the demons that had haunted her in the past, filled you with a gnawing anxiety.
You found yourself making up excuses, delaying your departure in a futile attempt to hold onto the precious moments you had shared together. But Natasha saw through your facade, her eyes searching yours for the truth that you were desperate to hide.
"Y/n, what's going on?" she asked, her voice gentle but firm. "You've been acting strange lately, avoiding going back to work, making excuses to stay. Is something wrong?"
Your heart constricted at the concern in her voice, the weight of your own fears threatening to suffocate you. But you couldn't bring yourself to voice the truth, to admit to the depths of your own insecurities.
"I… I just don't want to leave you," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm afraid that if I go back to work, things will go back to how they were before. I'm afraid of losing you Tasha."
Tears welled in your eyes as you spoke, the vulnerability of your confession laying bare the depths of your fear. But Natasha's response was immediate, her arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace, her warmth a comforting balm against the storm raging within you.
"Y/n, listen to me," she said, her voice steady and unwavering. "I'm not going anywhere. We've been through hell and back together, and I'm not about to let anything tear us apart."
With a heavy heart and a sense of resolve, you made the difficult decision to resign from your position, knowing that your place was by Natasha's side. As you prepared to leave, a fierce determination burned within you to make the most of the time you had left together.
With a hunger born of love and longing, you pulled Natasha into your arms, your lips seeking hers in a passionate kiss.
An so as you hold Natasha close, your heart overflowing with love and devotion, you feel the need to express the depths of your feelings to her.
"Nat," you begin, your voice soft and tender, "I need you to understand something. I love you more than words can express, more than I ever thought possible."
You press a gentle kiss to her forehead, savoring the warmth of her skin against your lips before continuing.
"I love you for who you are, not for your past or your appearance. Every part of you, every scar, every imperfection, it's all part of what makes you so incredibly beautiful to me."
Your fingers trace the contours of her face, your touch reverent and adoring.
"And I want you to know that my love for you will never waver. No matter what challenges we face, no matter what obstacles come our way, I will always be by your side, loving you with every beat of my heart."
Tears shimmer in Natasha's eyes as she listens to your words, her own heart swelling with emotion.
"I love you too, Y/n," she whispers, her voice choked with tears. "More than you'll ever know."
---------
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cheeseceli · 4 months
Text
When your parents don't like them
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)
Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction
Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)
Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others
A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes
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Bang Chan
‌HE'S SO SHOCKED
‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?
‌He believes he took it for granted
‌But he was so sure your family would love him
‌Rethinks everything he said and did
‌And thinks about what he could've done
‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me
"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"
"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."
"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"
"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."
"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"
"Chan."
Lee Know
‌ He knew he had to talk
‌ But it turns out he was too scared
‌And your parents just aggravated his problem
‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with
‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy
‌ But I swear he was trying his best
"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."
"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."
"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."
"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."
"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."
Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".
Changbin
‌ You warned him he was getting too close
‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...
‌ All the time
‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now
‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude
‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you
‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned
"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"
"Ideally, yes"
Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"
"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"
Hyunjin
‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents
‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms
‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like
‌genuinely sad
‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.
"So... About the dinner"
"They are always like this, don't worry"
"How come?"
"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"
"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"
"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"
He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"
"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"
"You're not mad?"
"Of course not. Why would I be?"
"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"
"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"
He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"
Han
‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did
‌The problem was that he didn't do anything
‌Literally anything
‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions
‌He barely moved besides that
‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there
‌And Han wished he could disappear
"I'm so, so sorry"
"Ji, it's okay"
"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"
"You were just fine"
"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"
"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"
Felix
‌Your parents loved him actually
‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend
‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life
‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now
‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point
‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough
‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo
"How do I look?"
"Great, as always"
"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"
"Lix..."
"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"
"You look like someone my parents will like"
"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"
"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."
Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door
"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"
"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"
Seungmin
‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them
‌just kidding
‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him
‌And neither can Seungmin himself
‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him
‌He will face it like a challenge
"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"
"We just saw them less than an hour ago"
"I think we should see them again"
"Did you like them that much?"
"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"
"What? They didn't hate you at all"
"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"
"You seem certain"
"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"
"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"
"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"
I.N
‌Kinda clueless
‌Totally clueless actually
‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much
‌Will try to find ways to apologise
‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around
"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"
"What are you doing?"
"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"
"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"
"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"
"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"
"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"
He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.
"Lilies" you said
"What?"
"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"
"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"
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Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist
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cherryrainn · 3 months
Text
ECLIPSED .
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; pairing ; adam x sinner! reader
; note ; request i got on wattpad!
; warnings ; none
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adam kicked back, watching the chaos unfold in hell from his lofty perch in heaven. it was like a twisted reality show, and he reveled in the spectacle of sinners tearing each other apart.
"get 'em, you filthy bastards!" he shouted, a wicked grin spreading across his face as the damned souls clashed in a violent dance of destruction. it was a symphony of chaos that resonated with the delight in his secretly twisted heart.
then, his gaze fixated on a particularly alluring sinner, you, who moved with a sinful grace. "damn, look at that hot piece of ass!" adam exclaimed, his eyes widening with carnal desire.
lute, who was standing next to him, dared to interrupt his reverie. "sir, what are you talking about?"
adam shot her an irritated look. "fuck you, bitch! can't you see i'm busy? get the fuck outta here!" he growled, waving her away.
lute rolled her eyes, muttering to herself as she retreated. "yes, sir. have your fun."
adam, still fixated on the enticing sinner, decided to kick things up a notch. with a snap of his fingers, he made whatever ethereal device he was using to watch hell follow the sinner, who happened to be you, into your home.
through a portal, adam descended into the depths of hell, ready to make a surprise entrance. as he materialized in your home, you were taken aback, thinking the extermination had started early.
"what the heck?!" you exclaimed, eyes wide with shock as you took in the unexpected intrusion. "is it over for me already?"
but adam, grinning with delight, reassured you, "fuck no!"
you eyed him cautiously, wondering what the hell was happening. "who are you, and how'd you get in here?"
adam's expression shifted, a mix of surprise and indignation crossing his features. "what the fuck do you mean, 'who am I'?" he retorted, his voice laced with offended arrogance. "i'm adam? the first fucking man? the big fucking cheese up in heaven! how do you not know who i am?"
you blinked, taken aback by his sudden outburst. "uh, sorry." you replied, trying to diffuse the tension.
adam scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "un-fucking-believable. you sinners don't know shit," he muttered under his breath, his ego bruised by your apparent ignorance.
you eyed adam cautiously, still trying to process the fact that the first man was standing in your living room. "anyway! you're hot!" he declared, his arrogance undeterred by your confusion.
"what?" you stammered, genuinely bewildered by the sudden change in tone.
adam leaned against your furniture, a smug grin on his face. "you heard me."
your skepticism was palpable. "are you even allowed here? aren't there like, rules?" you asked, your voice tinged with both caution and curiosity.
adam waved off your concern with a dismissive smirk. "rules? fuck the rules. i do what i want."
you furrowed your brows. "but, like, isn't that against the... heavenly code or... something?"
he groaned. "who gives a shit!? i'm here for a good time, not a long time."
and so began the surreptitious rendezvous between an angel and a sinner. during exterminations, adam would sneak away from his duties just to see you. you'd usually be hiding, fearing the consequences of being caught, but adam would always find you.
"chill out, y/n! it's just you and me," he'd whisper, his cocky grin never fading.
and against all odds, love began to take root, wrapping its tendrils around both celestial and damned hearts. It wasn't just a desire – it was a connection that ran deeper than the realms they inhabited.
yet, adam couldn't shake the knowledge that being in love with a sinner was wrong. he had entered your world just wanting to fuck around with some hot piece of shit, a way to spice up his boredom. but now, he found himself entangled in emotions he hadn't bargained for.
he was confused, he wanted to protect you..? to shield you from the eternal damnation that loomed over your head? 
he didn't just wanna fuck around with you – he wanted something more. he wanted you, all of you, body and soul. he wanted to be with you, to stand by your side against the forces that sought to tear you apart
and then, one fateful day, as he lounged in your humble abode, a sudden epiphany struck him like a bolt of lightning. 
"i wanna get you into heaven," he declared, his voice tinged with a newfound determination. "i don't give two shits about the rules anymore. maybe it's time for heaven to change."
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d4yl1ghts · 2 months
Note
Hi could I request an Anthony bridgerton x wife(reader) angst where he married his wife who used to be from the lower class and they end up having a fight because she did something that is “out of class or wrong” so she ends up giving him the silent treatment
unfair (1)
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(mean?) anthony bridgerton x wife, fem!reader
summary: after benedict makes a rude comment about your past and anthony doesn’t do anything about it, you and anthony end up having an argument
A/N- i hope this is alright, i felt the need to make it have a happy ending
part 2
-
Your husband of three months sat beside you with your hand gently clasped in his. You were at his family’s house for a meal and Benedict had been getting on your last nerve, he had arrived drunk for a start. He had also been attacking your social status as you were from a lower class family. Anthony knew this was getting to you, so he took your hand in a way to calm you. “So, Y/N, how was it growing up in the streets?”, Benedict obliviously questioned. You knew he was only saying it because he was drunk but this was too far. “Would you please stop going at me for where I grew up?!”, you raised your voice slightly as you stood up.
“Darling, sit down.”, Anthony carefully whispered to you, as if one wrong move would set you off. “No, I’m not going to sit down! Are you just going to let your brother treat me like that?”, you said lowering your voice towards the end. “Of course he has no right to treat you like that but darling, there is no need to raise your voice.”, the eldest Bridgerton replied.
You sighed in defeat. How was he going to just allow this? You arose from your seat again, tucked your chair in and stormed off into the room the two of you were currently staying in.
Violet watched you leave and turned to Benedict: “You can not act like such towards your brother’s wife, Benedict.”
Benedict just watched her in amusement but she knew he would regret this when he had sobered up. “I do not care if you’re drunk, tomorrow morning you will apologise to Y/N as she has done nothing wrong.”
“And Anthony, will you go and check on Y/N instead of just sitting there?! She is your wife, you know!”, Violet exclaimed. Anthony rushed off silently, realising he had acted impulsively. He lightly knocked on the door of your shared bedroom. “My love?”, he tenderly called out to you through the door, making sure he was alright to come in. “Go away.”, you yelled back at him. He could hear light sniffles and sobs. He felt awfully bad.
“Can I please come in?”, he tried again. Silence. He took this as a sign to go in. He was met with you weeping into the sheets of your king-sized bed. “Come here darling, it is quite alright.”, he hushed you but you pushed him away, ignoring his presence. “That was out of class, my love.”, he’d whisper, caressing the back of your hand. You instantly removed your hand from his. “How dare you speak to me like that?! Get out.” He saw the build up of tears in your eyes and knew he must leave you alone for the moment.
Why did he say that? What caused him to say that?
He sat idly against the back of his bedroom door, listening to you silently crying. Anthony felt horrible, he caused this! After half an hour, you opened the door to an asleep Anthony. He looked so peaceful- until you opened the door and he fell back. “Are you okay?”, you asked, trying to hide your laugh. “Yes, I am fine I believe.”, he smiled, watching you laugh. He let out his own quiet chuckle. “About before, I’m so sorry, my love…”, he began. “I do not know what got into me, I’m so sorry.”, he said with a longing and genuine look in his gorgeous eyes. “If you are truly sorry then I guess it is fine, you do have such an impulsive nature.”
Anthony sighed with pleasure as he brought his lips up to yours and hastily and passionately kissed you, breathing you in.
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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months
Note
okok you can make this super fluffy or u can add smut if you’d like, i don’t have a preference. i also can literally see this in my head so i’m sorry if there’s too much lolol. but basically reader + the triplets have been best friends since they were like 6, but reader and nick are closest. she’s had a crush on matt for ages and basically matt finally realizes what he feels (even though anyone w two eyes could see) and kisses her, but they get caught by nick and matt kinda runs out, later being scolded by nick saying smtg like “why are you doing this? she doesn’t need you breaking her heart over and over again anymore.” after that he confesses and at first she thinks he’s fucking w her before realizing he’s being genuine
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sandbox
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summary - this rec ^^
warnings - kissing, fluff, swearing, use of y/n (i think thats all)
word count - 2400??
NOT PROOFREAD
-
me and the triplets have been best friends for as long as i remember. i honestly think i gained consciousness when i was with them. we have spent countless summers together just playing around outside. showing off our new toys, board games and just growing up together.
we were all inseparable from the moment i met them and have pretty much experienced everything with them. i was always super close with chris and he was even my first kiss at the ripe age of 8. nick and i met first during baseball practice and i was the only girl on the team. nick is my best friend in the whole world and that never changed as we grew up. matt and i are very different people. we always got along and played together as kids but as i grew up i developed feelings for him. i had an eye for him ever since we were 13 when he ditched his date and took me to 8th grade formal because no one else would. he was always my knight in shining armor.
i always thought he was attractive but as time went on i grew to love everything about him. i confided in nick about my feelings when i was 15 and have continued to express my feelings for matt to him. nick promised me that this would be the only secret he would ever keep from his brother and he has kept it for 2 years now.
which brings us to present day.
-
matt was driving me home from school since nick and chris were hanging out with their friends after school.
“did you see that amount of homework our history teacher gave us, i was ready to walk out the second she gave me that booklet.” i say. “oh i fucking know she can be ridiculous.” matt replies. he was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other tapping his fingers on the centre console to the music we were listening to. “matt.” i ask looking at the size of my booklet, “hmm?” he says watching the road. “do you think we can work on these together i really dont think i can get this done on my own.” i mumble, he chuckles looking over at me “i was just about to ask you the same thing.” he smiles.
“ok ill drive over later i need to do some things at home before i start homework.” i breathe. “sounds good.” he says.
once matt dropped me home i immediately began getting ready. although i would never admit it, i always tried my best to look my best when i was around matt. even though we have known each other for years i never wanted him to think i was unattractive.
growing up and watching the girls matt would take on dates and have all of those ‘firsts’ with always crushed me. he never knew it but he broke my heart countless times. the worst time was when we were 15 and he came to me nick and chris after hanging out with his first girlfriend and told us he lost his virginity. that was the night i confessed to nick my feelings for his brother. i spent the rest of that weekend crying in my room about matt when he did nothing to hurt me, i was just in my own head about loving him since i was 13. its safe to say nothing has changed since then and i have continued to be in love with him and i am now currently 17.
- later that night - 6:15 pm
i arrived to their house and walked in after being greeted by their mom and a hug from her. their mom treated me like my own as i was at their house more than i was at my own. she told me that there was dinner left over since chris and nick werent home if i wanted some.
of course all i wanted to do was just hangout with matt.
i made my way up the stairs to matts room to find him playing a game on his computer with headphones on. i walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. “oh y/n you scared the shit out of me.” he breathes clearly startled. i laugh and walk over to his bed and plop down on it. “i actually think i would rather step on nails for a day than do this history bullshit.” i sigh.
matt chuckles while shutting off his computer and grabbing his history booklet and sitting down on his bed. we both got right to work going from looking in our textbooks, to writing down answers, copying the answers from each other and wording them differently. we continued that same process for about an hour before my hand felt like it was going to fall off.
“oh my god matt i cannot do this anymore we need to take a break.” i sigh laying down on my back. “me too i think my head will explode if i keep going.” he agrees. i close my eyes and get comfortable in his bed while he grabs his phone and starts scrolling on it eventually turning it to my face “what do you think of her.” he asks showing me a girl that is in our history class. i just raise my shoulders in response. “words would be more helpful you know.” he chuckles. “i dont know shes the same as the past 3 girls you have been with.” i blankly reply. he hums in response and goes back to scrolling. “so helpful.” he says jokingly rolling his eyes.
“you never really like any of the girls i talk to huh?” he blurts. i freeze not knowing how to respond, i dont know matt maybe because ive been in love with you for years but your too stubborn to fucking notice it? i obviously wanted to scream I LOVE YOU AND I HAVE SINCE I WAS 13, at him but i didnt. my face goes blank and i just turn away from him and go back to resting my eyes even tho i know it wont last long. while me and matt had a great relationship as friends i always shut down when it came to moments like these. matt knows when something is wrong, all the fucking time. its frustrating in moments like these when i am literally mad at him for showing me a girl hes interested in but of course i cant tell him that.
“ok snap out of it what is your problem now?” he snaps. “matt i dont have a problem.” i state lying through my teeth. “anyone from a mile away can read that you are upset right now so just tell me what the issue is so i can fix it.” he pleads. “matt can you drop it.” i huff twars brimming my eyes, “no.” he pauses “why do you keep doing this, you always shut me out when theres a problem. i know that your upset and you know that i know your upset, just tell me whats wrong.” he explains.
“matt i cant.” i say as tears spill out. he lifts his hand to turn me over to see that im crying, his face saddens. i instinctually cover my eyes and sit up.
“theres clearly something wrong, what happened why cant you open up to me anymore.” he says. i sniffle and get up to use the bathroom. i couldnt stand to even look him in the eye. not knowing the strong feelings i have for him.
j went into the bathroom and broke down. i never broke like that in front of him before. every time this has happened i usually just go home and deal with it or complain to nick. this time i was looking him right in the eye and he saw what he made me feel. matts not and idiot he definitely knows why that upset me. if he didnt have a hunch that i was in love with him before he absolutely knows now. everything ive held in for the past 4 years has spilled out and i dont know how to handle what will happen when i walk back in to that room.
knock knock
“y/n can you open the door.” he says in a quiet tone. i put my hand on the handle and press my other hand to the door. “deep breaths” i keep repeating to myself. i crack the door open and matt sees me mascara on my face. puffy eyes and a sniffily mess. he grabs my face and either side and wipes away my tears. i just watch him as he does this. he moves forward to get closer and slowly connects our lips. i immediately melt into his touch and start kissing him back, wrapping my hands around his on my face.
we continue kissing as i wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him closer as he smiles into the kiss. i heavily breathe in as he slips his tongue into my mouth. my heart beats faster at the new feeling. i always imagined kissing matt but this is better than what i ever could have imagined. he moves one hand from my face and places it on my hip.
“what. the. fuck.” i hear nick say from behind.
we both stop and turn around and nick and chris standing behind us.
“nick please dont be mad.” i plead. “i will talk to you in a minute y/n” he says point at me “matt go to your room with me.” nick says sticking his hand in the direction of matts room.
matts pov
my heart was beating so fast as nick followed me into my room. kissing his best friend what was i thinking. she was my best friend too but their relationship was always closer but its still no excuse.
“what the fuck are you doing kissing y/n?” he yells, i open my mouth to speak but he interrupts me. “do you know how much you have fucked with her already.” he exclaims.
now im confused.
“you have been messing with y/n’s head for years now and you have spent the past four years breaking her heart over and over, she doesnt need you doing it again.”
i pause i thinking about his words rubbing my hands over my face.
“she has spent everyday loving you since we were 13 and has watched you countless times talk to girls and being girls around and she has always kept it in as to how she feels. unless you truly have feelings for her that to you was nothing. but matt, what just happened right there.” nick says shaking his head, “just might hurt her more than anything you could ever have done to her.” nick breathes before walking out of my room.
y/n’s pov
i walked into chris’ room after what happened and just cried as he watched me spiral. he surprisingly had nothing to say and the silence of the situation made it even worse. i was freaking the fuck out. i never anticipated kissing matt and especially not his brother, my best friend catching us.
nick walks in to chris’ room “y/n are you ok?” he asks. i look at him and just break down. he walks over and sits down on the bed with me and chris. chris friendly pats me on the shoulder and i smile at him “thanks chris.” i say and he gives me a warm smile.
we hear a knock on the door and see matt open it. “y/n please can i talk to you.” he says and nick looks at me with worry written all over his face. “its ok.” i whisper as i get up and nod at matt.
we close the door behind us and he begins. “nick just told me ive been breaking your heart since we were 13.” he breathes, “why didnt you say anything before.”
“matt i couldnt.” i say tears threatening to come out of my eyes again. matt looks at me with concern. “dont, dont look at me like that. you never felt anything for me now dont start now because you feel bad for me.” i say now feeling angry at him. “y/n but thats the thing, i always felt something for you. anyone with eyes can see that. you know that i never let any girl come into my presence without asking your approval, your the most important girl to me in the world nothing can ever change that.” he says looking at the ground. “bullshit.” i huff. “i dont believe you, if you really ever had feelings for me you would have seen that i loved you for 4 years.” i say tears pooling out of my eyes but i dont care, “4 years matt. ive been seeing you with girls for years envious of their life and then you pass them on like their nothing.” i say putting a finger to his chest. “4 years i had to keep this to myself to prevent it from ruining years of friend ship, not just between us but between your family.” i say pushing my finger on his chest harder and he steps back. “4 years that i had to get my heart broken by someone who didnt give a shit about me.” i say walking towards him now pushing him harder, crying even harder now.
he wraps his arms around me and i fight out of his grip. he doesnt let go as i stuggled but eventually i grow tired and just clutch on to him like if i let go i would fall. “im sorry.” he says petting my hair and i cry into his chest. “you know that i would never hurt you, you are the one person besides my brother that i care about the most.” he says resting his chin on my head. “i love you.” he says. i look up at him from his grip. i moved up to his face finding his lips and connecting them once more. this kiss more sweet than the last.
“ive waited to hear that since i was 13.”
-
thank you for reading xx
taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry
a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed this and to the person who requested it i hope this lived up to your standards 🤍🤍🤍
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roxygen22 · 3 months
Note
Would you kindly write a sequel to the "Bun in the Oven" fic please? and thank you!!!!
You are my very first ask - like, ever! I hope you enjoy.
C/W: Pregnancy, labor
A/N: You'll need to read Part 1 for context
Bun in the Oven (Part 2)
Willy was so excited about the news that he practically ran to the library the next morning to tell Noodle. He rushed through the door, yelling, "Noodle, I..." before a patron shushed him. "Oops, sorry!" he cringed and whisper-yelled in response.
Noodle ran out from behind the desk to grab Willy's arm and pulled him to the office. "Willy, you know the library rules. You gotta be quiet. Wait...," she paused with furrowed brow. "Is everything okay? Why aren't you at the factory or store? And why are you out of breath? Did you run over here?"
"I did! I have the most stupendous news." He paused for a breath. "[Y/N] is going to have a baby! You're going to be an aunt!" Willy picked her up and spun her around. He looked like he had eaten a hover choc; he was so excited that he could barely keep his feet on the ground.
"Whoa!! How long do I have to wait?" she asked through her grin.
"About seven or eight months. It's very early yet. Which gives me time."
"Time for what?" Noodle questioned.
"To learn everything I can, of course! There weren't exactly many expectant mothers or babies on my voyages. I didn't have any siblings to care for, either. I know little to nothing about how to take care of [Y/N] or the baby. I need to know what to expect for...expecting."
"Well, Willy, you've come to the right place to learn things. Let's get started!" Noodle started thumbing through the catalog, and off they went on a scavenger hunt for facts.
<><><><>
It was nearly lunchtime by the time they finished. Willy decided he would pay you a visit at work before heading back to the factory. This was a common occurrence, so much so that he was on a first name basis with all your coworkers, and they him.
"Hey, Willy!" the secretary said warmly. "[Y/N] is in the back."
"Great! Thanks, Sarah!" Willy smiled back. He ventured to the back of the shop to find you in the breakroom contentedly humming to yourself while getting your lunch ready. You hadn't yet spotted him, so he took advantage of the moment to stop and stare. You were already glowing. Sensing someone behind you, you looked up and beamed at him. "Willy! What are you doing here?"
"Hello, my sweet." He leaned down to kiss the top of your head, then sat down next to you. "You know, I can't wait to hear you hum like that to the baby. Did you know he or she is about the size of a pea right now?"
"I did not. Where did you learn this? Let me guess, you've already paid dear Noodle a visit at the library?"
"Indeed. I haven't even been to the factory yet today. I want to learn everything I can so I can take good care of you and the baby." He held up a bag of books he had checked out.
Tears started welling up in your eyes at the evidence of how genuinely excited Willy was about the prospect of being a father. He was diving head first into this experience, even doing research despite his challenges with reading. Seeing your tears, his smile faltered. "Am I overwhelming you?" he asked in a small voice.
"No, my love. I'm just so happy that you are so happy that I just can't contain it," you replied.
<><><><>
The months that followed did little to quell his excitement. He took great pleasure in telling the news to anyone who would listen, even once it became obvious. The whole town knew very quickly that the famous chocolatier and his wife were expecting.
You could not have asked for a better partner than Willy. He was quick to track down the object of your cravings at any time of day. He doted on you and did everything he could to ease your discomfort as your belly grew. He was tempted to make a chocolate remedy for anything that ailed you, but he also didn't want you testing his recipes unless he knew for certain that every ingredient was safe for baby.
It became Willy's evening routine to sing softly to your belly when he came home from the factory. You had been feeling flutters and kicks for a couple of months before he could finally feel them, too. The first time was a moment you'll cherish forever. You played with his hair as he rested his head in your lap. He suddenly stopped singing mid-lullaby. You looked down in time to see the shock on his face. "Was that...did the baby just kick?!" You smiled and nodded. He sat up and rested his large hand against your belly in time to feel another kick. He had the biggest, goofiest grin you had ever seen. After that, it became a little game between the two of them. Willy would nudge, baby would nudge, and so on.
<><><><>
You kept working until the last month of pregnancy, and that was only because Willy begged you to take leave and rest. Since business had picked up at the factory and stores, you could afford to take some time off; however, you needed to stay busy to keep your sanity. You used the time to put finishing touches on the baby's room.
Noodle often came by to check on you during her breaks or after the library closed. You were grateful to her for satisfying your craving for social interaction that was no longer fulfilled by your coworkers at the shop. It was lonely at home during the day when Willy was at work.
Like Willy, Noodle had also taken an interest in feeling the baby move around. The little one would suddenly become very active when they heard her voice. "Seems like we both like it when you stop by for a visit, Noodle."
"Do you think the baby will be a boy or a girl?" she asked as she looked up from her hands on your belly.
"I think it's a girl. Willy guesses a boy. What do you think?"
"I think...," she froze as she felt your belly tighten and sees you clench your teeth. "Are you alright?"
You took a breath and waved her off. "Oh, I'm fine. I've been having some discomfort off and on today, but it doesn't last long. What were you going to say?"
She eyed you suspiciously, "Ok, if you say so. I think it's a girl. But I will love them regardless."
You smiled. "Me, too. Now would you like a snack? I made some chocolate chip cook...," you paused as another more intense wave of pain radiated across your midsection. "Cookies."
Noodle stared at you with one eyebrow raised. "You can deny it all you want, but I think you're in labor. That wasn't even five minutes since the last contraction."
"Sounds like you have been studying with Willy," you said with a smirk.
"Should I go get him?"
"No, I don't want to bother him right now. This my first baby so it will take a while, even if this really is the start of labor. How about we play a game to pass the time? Dealer's choice." You broke out a deck of cards to distract the girl, but you remained keenly aware of the frequency of your discomfort.
About an hour later, you were overcome with pain, not just discomfort, severe enough that you couldn't talk through it. Noodle grabbed your hand in concern. When the pain subsided, she announced, "Alright, I am going to get Willy."
"Good idea, because I think my water just broke."
<><><><>
Noodle ran to the factory as fast as her legs could take her. After asking three Oompa Loompas, she finally found Willy elbow deep in the mechanics of his taffy pulling machine.
"Hey, Streudel! How's it...wait, why are you out of breath? Did you run here? Is it [Y/N]? Is she in labor?" Noodle, out of breath, could only nod once before Willy took off running. There would be no catching up to his long legs, so she took a pause on a candy mushroom by the chocolate river to catch her breath.
Willy [barely] had the wherewithal to stop at his desk on the way out to call the midwife. Coat, hat, and cane in hand, he bolted out the factory gate and headed for home. He came in to find you leaning against the kitchen wall with one hand and holding your back with the other. You heard him enter, but you were in too much pain to acknowledge him. Without a word, he came up behind you and started applying pressure in just the right spot of your lower back to ease some discomfort, enough that you could speak again.
"You have magical hands, my love," you sighed as you leaned against him.
"I called the midwife. She should be here soon," Willy said calmly. By the time she arrived, he had already gotten you settled in the bedroom. He never left your side, helping you into whatever position felt best to labor in.
After what felt like a lifetime, your son was born into Willy's arms in the wee hours of the night. The midwife patted Willy's cheeks and commented that they didn't even need her. He had it all under control. A tired smile graced your face as you took in the scene. All that studying paid off after all, you thought.
The midwife checked the baby boy over, cleaned him up, and handed him back to the proud father. "Hello, my little cocoa bean," you heard him whisper in awe. "I'm your papa."
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yourfavepookiebear · 3 months
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This is my first time making a request so sorry if this makes no sense.
Self aware Twisted Wonderland with a player who randomly gets transported into their world. For Characters I was thinking about Azul, Malleus, Leona, and Riddle.
If this is too much you can ignore it.
A/n : This request has been sitting in my inbox for 2 months so I decided to finally answer it 😭 also sorry anon, for the extremely late reply 😅 for some reason I feel like I'm writing a fairytale for kids or sum lmao, also I wrote this while simultaneously doing my homework jsyk , it took me a lit to write this if you can tell, but can you tell I wrote this in 2 different days ?
Cw: Leona being lazy and a bit unhinged, bad writing, short asf, not proofread, Riddle kinning pomeranians and chihuahas, Malleus just being Malleus, ooc, inaccurate character depiction
It's the day after Yuu appeared in twisted wonderland, the second day of school. (It's been a long time since I last played or read twisted wonderland so bear with me) for plot purposes and diversity, each character will have slightly different plot, like time and place.
◇ Leona Kingscholar
It was just another irritating day for Leona, as he was sleeping in the botanical gardens, skipping class as usual. His tail swished left to right, as he tried to fall asleep. For some reason though, much to his annoyance, he couldn't fall asleep. Normally he had no problem dozing off, but today was different. He grits his teeth and glares at air particles, then he sits upright and stares at a random direction. Suddenly he hears footsteps, and the familiar voice of Ruggie approaching his location.
Leona rolls his eyes just as Ruggie emerges, not even sparing him a glance. Ruggie sighs and walks towards Leona
"Hey Leona, I got your sandwich"
Ruggie then hands him a sandwich and glances at him
"What's wrong ? You seem pretty down-in-the-dumps today. Not that you're usually a ray of sunshine, but still."
Leona just huffs and plucks some grass from the ground, then answers
"I can't sleep."
Ruggie blinks owlishly, then tilts his head to the side
"Woah, THE Leona Kingscholar, unable to sleep ? That's a new one.."
"Tsk, whatever."
Is all Leona says, as he rolls his eyes and lays down on the grass once again, closing his eyes. Ruggie takes the hint and walks away, going back to wherever he came from.
About an hour later, Leona wakes up to the sound of footsteps, yet this time they're not Ruggie's. In fact, they're not familiar at all..
Leona opens his eyes but stays still, a bit curious to know who this mysterious person is. On one side he doesn't give a shit, but on another side he's curious because, just what could a stranger be possibly doing at NRC ?
Suddenly someone jumps on top of him, effectively knocking the air out of his lungs. He jolts awake, bewildered and shocked.
"What the-"
His eyes widen as he recognizes the person who's crushing him with their weight..holy shit, what the hell is the player doing here ???
"Player ?"
He says, baffled, he genuinely doesn't know how to react. One minute he was peacefully sleeping, the other he wakes up to the player suddenly spawning on top of him ?? His thought process is cut off as his ears are flooded with high-pitched screaming and shrieking
"OH MY LORD, LEONA ????? AM I DREAMING ?? HES SO MUCH HOTTER IN PERSON OMFG"
He blinks, once, twice, thrice, his mouth open and his eyes wide, his ears twitching
"Player ?? What..."
(I'm gonna end it here becuz Im lazy asf and I have to go sleep soon, the rest is up to you and your imagination sorry pookies)
◇ Azul Ashengrotto
Azul is in the mostro lounge, he finishes making a deal with some random student, he bids them goodbye with that shady smile plastered on his face, and as soon as they leave he looks over to the clock. 7pm, it's still early yet it's already dark outside. He sighs and grabs his stuff, preparing to go back to his dorm room. Suddenly, he feels something brushing against his leg. He frowns and looks around, confused as to what it may be.
He hopes its not a prank from the twins, as he shrugs it off and continues what he was doing, until he feels it again.
He gets up from his office chair and looks under his desk, only to find...
What ? There's someone asleep under his desk ?? He pulls them out from under his desk, and immediately recognizes that face. It's the player !
He is absolutely baffled. How did the player randomly spawn under his office desk, asleep and in pajamas ?? This is very confusing..
◇ Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle was in his room, studying whatever the hell subjects they have in nrc.
He gets up to go drink a cup of natural mineral water with a 100% recycled bottle, then somehow trips on something.
He looks down and jumps 10 meters back, eyes blown wide as saucers and lets out the loudest and longest scream on earth, so loud that even I am put to shame.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Somehow though, for plot purposes, no one hears him. Tatatatata, he looks over at the thing that was on the floor and is shocked to see you, the player, asleep on his floor, snoring like, so hard every single one of the prehistoric cavemen (Leona included) would lower their heads in respect.
(Anyways skip I'm lazy)
◇ Malleus Draconia
As we all know, Malleus loves walking around at night, and that makes a lot of people think he's some insane psychopath who's gonna stalk them then impale them with his horns.
After his nightly walk he came back to Diasomnia dorm just to find, you, aka the player and the one he thinks of so religiously every single day. He takes a step towards you, which isn't a lot since he's at the start of a hallway and you're at the end but whatever.
And that was his first mistake. Lo and behold there were you, at the end of the dark ass hallway, staring at him like you just witnessed some middle aged guy take off his pants and wip out his d*ck, then smack you across the face with it, oh and as if it was so long Drake would be put to shame.
You screamed like a banshee and ran away as if you were being chased by Drake's pipe.
Then you yelled out louder than Leona's snoring "MAMA MIA WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE" -Player's last words, may they rest in peace and remain forever remembered.
Jkjk you just ran into the wall and passed out. And Lilia was just watching the whole time and laughing his ass off. But you made Malleus sad tho :(
You woke up in Malleus's bedroom after having a nightmare about Drake's elevator.
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mitsies · 1 year
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FUMBLED! ; okkotsu yuuta > yuuta's never been good with words. it's no surprise that he's even worse with confessions.
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okkotsu yuuta is a pacifict at heart. sure, he's committed his fair share of violent crimes, but as was the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. in practice, he was cruel. in actuality, he'd never hurt a fly.
yuuta took extra long on rainy day walks to avoid stepping on worms. he made sure to never dog-ear pages on his books, and he always set out extra meals in case his friends didn't feel like making their own dinners. okkotsu yuuta was kind as he was gentle- a peaceful spirit in totality.
things might change today, though, because he is genuinely considering strangling his friends.
well, not actually- he thinks he'd rather run away and cry than strangle anyone. running away and crying would be a lot less awkward than murder. and god knows that he couldn't handle even more tension. the air was thick with it now- a heavy sort of smoke, so present that he could taste it in the sky and it suffocated the people in its vicinity.
no one spoke for a few beats before panda laughed awkwardly: "well, i think that's our cue to leave!"
yuuta watches helplessly as panda grabs maki and toge by their collars before hauling them away, effectively leaving you and yuuta alone in the courtyard of tokyo jujutsu high.
the words from the previous conversation still hung in the air like a cloud. he could practically read them in the wind: maki's jovial teasing, toge's interesting additions, your pretty, pretty laugh- and panda dropping a bomb.
("what, do you have plans this weekend?" maki had interrogated yuuta when he declined the group's request to grab dinner in town on the upcoming weekend. he was about to reply when panda cut him off- "he's probably waiting to ask you-know-who out."
yuuta remembers freezing and hearing maki laugh, not noticing how you approached with toge by your side. "you need to do it already."
yuuta is again cut off by panda's exclamation. "i know, right! y/n's so cool, and you like them so much it's sad. plus, they won't stay single forever-"
"what did you just say?" your voice took everyone by surprise. the quiet following was hollow and still. that was what led up to this- the awkward silence. the stand-off. what very well might be the end of the world, in yuuta's eyes.)
"you like me?"
you're the first to talk again, breaking the boy out of his mind. he thinks you look so pretty, even when you're just standing there, even when you're confused, even when you might turn him down.
right now, there is no warzone more chaotic than okkotsu yuuta's mind. there is no nuclear warfare as destructive as the storm thundering through his neurons. there has never been a no man's land as deathly and ghastly as the folds of his brain are at that moment. there are a thousand thoughts buzzing around in his head- all of them say the same thing. i like you, i like you, i like you, his brain chants in a million ways.
he breathes in. and then out again. here goes nothing.
okkotsu yuuta opens his mouth and puts every ounce of trust he has into his words. 'i like you,' he repeats to himself in his head, waiting for his tongue to echo those syllables out loud.
yuuta has never been lucky. he should've expected the wires of his mind to be crossed. because of the dozens of trains of thought traveling at breakneck speeds around his head, the tracks of 'do you like me back?' and 'can i kiss you?" cross paths. he is so, so unlucky, because all he ends up saying is "do you kiss me back?"
you blink at him. he blinks at you. "do i what?"
it's then yuuta realizes his mistake. "oh. oh, oh no. wait. i meant- i didn't mean- i didn't want to say that. no, no, you don't have to kiss me- i mean, i wouldn't, like- wait, no. no. i'm sorry. i'm so- i am so sorry. oh my gosh. i didn't mean to say that."
yuuta's gaze is fixed hard on the ground, so he doesn't see you moving to close the distance between the both of you. his own mind is racing so he can barely register the feeling of your warm hands cupping his face. he's going so insane that he thinks he might be imagining how you promptly slam your lips against his with a conviction he thinks he could fall in love with.
he doesn't realize what's happening at first, but as soon as he does, he's kissing back. it's messy, and decidedly not neat- he's not sure what he's doing but it feels so right that he thinks he'll let himself fail for a little bit- but it's perfect to the both of you.
"you talk," you say when you pull away, "so much. like, a lot."
he looks at you like you hold the sun in the sky and brought fire to mankind. "you kissed me."
"i guess i did."
"so.. you do like me back?"
you purse your lips and move your arms around his neck, shifting even closer. your lips ghost his cheek and you can feel the shiver passing through him. "maybe just a little," you can't help but tease.
"i'll like you enough for the both of us, then. i kinda already do, i think."
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✄ this was written for the mitsies 3k follower event with the prompts they’re nervous to confess so instead of saying ‘can i kiss you’ or ‘do you like me back’ they say “do you kiss me back?” + kissing to get them to stop talking
[⇥ 3K EVENT MASTERLIST] [⇥ 3K EVENT INFO]
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kreumiya · 2 months
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★・ i'd let you read my mind!!
A short scenario if you and Sunday were both Halovian and he reads your mind while communicating telepathically when you deny that you were ever going to take him on a date as a joke when he comes late. :) 
Perhaps asking Sunday out on a date wasn’t the best idea. After all, you were a part of the family and had to uphold some kind of values. Asking your pretty boss out on a date was definitely not one of them. Not like you cared anyway. 
Holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a box of some mystery cupcakes that you had bought from some kid on the bustling streets of penacony, you walked through his long and winding hallways, solved the weird puzzles he had set up (they were actually quite hard but you’d gotten used to them) and into his office. Not many people were able to go into there unless they had a special appointment, but you were an exception. The only exception. 
“Sunday!” you called out. Somehow he was always cooped up in this office, it ought to be lonely sometimes – well maybe all the time… You paused. No answer. “Excuse me? Sunday…?” You yelled out again. Any longer and you were going to get quite annoyed.One of the only times when you could meet him and he’s out somewhere? You’ve got to be kidding me… “Uh-hum,” you cleared your throat, “Mr Sunday, leader of the Oak family and Representative of Penacony you have a visitor!” A few minutes passed and … no reply. You had specifically told him you were coming in 3 system hours. 
Screw it, you sighed, placing your gifts behind your chair and taking a seat on one of his plush velvet chairs. “If you don’t come now, I’ll eat all these cupcakes…” Pause. Silence. This room was genuinely like a prison, you couldn’t fathom how he could spend all of his days locked up in this place by himself like a bird in a cage. An hour passed by… 
And all of a sudden, the doors opened wide. “I’m so sorry, I’m late. I got caught up in some business.” 
“Late by an hour?” you sighed dramatically, “oh whatever shall I do? All my plans have been cancelled because I’ve waited here for so long.” You sulked, knowing full well that you did not have any other plans lined up for the entire week. “I had something planned for the two of us to do, but I guess not anymore…” you averted your gaze while suppressing a grin. 
He took a seat next to you, “what did you plan for us to do?” he asked thoughtfully, taking your hand in his and placing a kiss on it. 
“Ah well, since you came so late, I’ve had to cancel the plans,” you wistfully shook your head, trying to hide the fat bouquet of flowers behind your chair. “There’s not much I can do…” you began to get up before you heard something in your head. Sunday hadn’t been speaking but you had heard him trying to communicate with you telepathically, Damn Halovian powers… you smiled. 
So what is it?
Now all your thoughts would be relayed to him…
It was a date!! I wasn’t actually going to cancel it. I saw that you were pretty scared when I said I cancelled all my plans. I definitely tricked you didn’t I?
You shot him a beaming smile. Knowing full well that you did not trick him, you definitely forgot that Halovians were able to communicate telepathically, and that bouquet peeking out from behind your chair definitely didn’t help at all.
“Here you go,” you passed him the bouquet and then the box of cupcakes. “Now let’s go! We’re already running behind schedule by 1 hour and 14 minutes, we still have a lot to do you know!” You held his hand as you ran down the hallways while his other arm carried the bouquet and the half melted cupcakes. 
“Today will be a long day,” he laughed. 
i am actually so starved of sunday content and leaks its so sad
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Shattered.
adjective ‘very upset’
in which, your trying to live a normal life as much as you can, but when you bump into the handsome doctor again, and realise he’s got questions, questions that you can’t answer and thats when you realise just how much your longing for that perfect fairy tale ending.
word count - 5.6k
authors note - ahhh!! i’m so sorry that the wait for this chapter has been so long, but i’ve got over my writers block now and am so excited to get back to writing for your guys, before we start i would just like to thank the beautiful @missbearforfun for helping me with this story, i honestly would not have been able to do this without them, so mwah!!
warnings - mentions of domestic abuse, hospitals, some mild swearing, corey, and nightmares. (if i’ve missed anything please don’t refrain from letting me know!!)
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August 30th, 2022.
As you jogged around the local park, the rhythmic thud of your footsteps echoed against the pavement, accompanied by the familiar melodies of Fleetwood Mac streaming through your headphones. With your water bottle in hand, you embraced the solitude of the early morning, relishing in the peaceful ambiance of the park.
Lost in the music and the rhythm of your steps, you rounded a bend in the path and nearly collided with someone coming from the opposite direction. Startled, you stumbled backward, the sudden interruption jolting you out of your reverie. As your headphones slipped slightly, the sound of the stranger's voice broke through the silence.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" The voice was accompanied by a concerned expression, and as you looked up, you found yourself gazing into the eyes of a man, who looked just that little bit older to you.
His concern was genuine, and there was a warmth in his gaze that immediately put you at ease.
Brushing off the near collision with a sheepish grin, you assured him that you were fine. He lingered for a moment, his easy smile infectious, and before you knew it, you were engaged in conversation.
"Sorry about that, I should've been paying more attention," The man spoke with a chuckle, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
"It's okay, no harm done," you replied, returning his smile.
"I'm Corey."
"Nice to meet you, I'm (Y/N)," you replied, returning his smile.
As the conversation continued, Corey's easygoing charm put you at ease.
"So, do you come here often?" he asked, his tone playful.
"Yeah, I try to jog here a few times a week. It's a great way to clear my head," you explained, feeling a sense of comfort in his presence.
Corey nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I totally get that. There's something about being outdoors that's really refreshing."
Before parting ways, Corey hesitated for a moment before speaking up. "Hey, I know this is perhaps a bit forward, but would you be interested in going for a jog together sometime?"
A smile spread across your face at the invitation.
"I'd like that."
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February 4th, 2024.
Standing behind the counter at the cafe where you work, you felt a dull ache resonate through your body with every breath you took in. Corey's words from a few days ago echoed in your mind, urging you to discharge yourself from the hospital, convinced that you were wasting the doctors' time.
Now, as you struggled through the pain, you couldn't help but wonder if he was right.
He usually was.
Your hair was tied up in a high ponytail, a practical choice to keep it out of the way as you worked. The familiar routine of wiping down the coffee machine provided a small distraction from the discomfort that gnawed at you.
Despite the bustling atmosphere of the cafe, you felt isolated in your pain. Corey's presence loomed large in your mind, his words echoing like a relentless refrain. The memory of what he had done last night weighed heavily on your heart, casting a shadow over even the simplest of tasks.
"There’s no reason for you to be here," Corey insisted, his voice dripping with irritation. "The doctors have better things to do than waste their time on someone who doesn't need to be here."
You winced as his fingers dug into your shoulders, his nails leaving angry red marks that threatened to break the skin. The pain in your ribs intensified with each shallow breath, a relentless reminder of the trauma you endured.
But Corey's words cut deeper than any physical wound, adding a layer of guilt and self-doubt to your already overwhelming emotions.
"B-but I'm in pain," you protested weakly, your voice barely above a whisper, your stutter more pronounced in the face of his anger.
Corey's impatience only seemed to grow as he dismissed your concerns with a wave of his hand. "You're fine. It's probably just a bruise or something. You don't need to be taking up a hospital bed for that."
As he spoke, you felt a familiar sense of unease settle over you. It wasn't the first time Corey had minimized your pain and dismissed your need for medical attention. With each passing moment, the weight of his words bore down on you, chipping away at your already fragile sense of self-worth.
Despite the doubts that gnawed at you, a part of you couldn't help but wonder if Corey was right. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were wasting the doctors' time. But deep down, beneath the layers of doubt and fear, you knew that your pain was real, and that you deserved to be heard.
"Please, Corey," you pleaded, your voice shaking with emotion. "I-I need to stay here. I-I need help."
But Corey's patience had worn thin, his frustration boiling over into anger.
"You're being ridiculous," he snapped, his grip on your shoulders tightening. "Get up and leave. Now."
As tears welled up in your eyes, you felt a sense of helplessness wash over you. Trapped between the pain in your body and the cruelty of Corey's words, you struggled to find the strength to stand up for yourself.
Just over a year ago, you were looking for a way to get some money into your bank account, and there was this little cafe on a road called Canal Street, that you had noticed was hiring.
Your heart fluttered with nervous excitement as you hesitated at the threshold, unsure if you had the courage to step inside. Pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, you took a deep breath and entered, the chime of the bell announcing your arrival.
Inside, you were greeted by the sight of a cozy interior, filled with the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft murmur of conversation. Your nerves danced beneath the surface as you approached the counter, where a kind, elderly couple stood, their faces etched with warmth and hospitality.
With hesitant steps, you inquired about the vacant position, your voice barely above a whisper. The woman behind the counter noticed your trembling hands and the uncertainty in your eyes. With a gentle smile, she ushered you to sit down at one of the empty tables, her soft touch calming the jitters that threatened to consume you.
As she reached across to still your shaking hands, her touch was like a soothing balm to your frayed nerves.
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February 6th, 2024.
On this rare sunny day in Manchester, Dr. Styles, known as Harry to his family, strolled leisurely around the duck pond with his six-year-old nephew, Noah.
It was a tradition for Harry to spend Tuesday afternoonswith Noah, (he always picked him up after school and they always did something to tire the young boy out) his designated day off during the week, cherishing these moments of familial connection amidst his demanding schedule.
Thursdays marked his other day of respite, but it was Tuesdays that held a special place in their hearts.
As they ambled along the winding path, Harry watched with fondness as Noah skipped ahead, his youthful exuberance a stark contrast to the calm demeanor of his uncle. The vibrant hues of the surrounding greenery were accentuated by the gentle rays of sunlight filtering through the branches, casting dappled patterns on the ground below.
The tranquil atmosphere of the duck pond enveloped them, the rhythmic quacking of the ducks providing a soothing backdrop to their conversation. Noah's animated chatter filled the air as he regaled Harry with tales of his adventures at school, his innocent enthusiasm infectious.
Harry listened attentively, his heart swelling with pride at the boundless imagination and curiosity of his nephew. Despite the demands of his profession, moments like these served as a reminder of the simple joys in life, grounding him in the present and offering solace amidst the chaos of the world.
As they strolled around the duck pond, Noah's eyes sparkled with excitement as he spotted the ducks gliding gracefully across the water.
"Uncle H, can we feed the ducks?" he asked eagerly, his voice filled with anticipation.
Harry's heart sank as he realized he had forgotten to bring bread for the ducks. With a sigh, he crouched down to Noah's eye level and explained, "M’sorry, buddy, but I forgot to bring bread today. We can't feed the ducks without any bread."
Noah's face fell, disappointment evident in his expression.
"But I really wanted to feed the ducks," he lamented, his lower lip trembling slightly.
Just as Harry was about to offer consolation, Noah's gaze shifted to an elderly couple sitting on a nearby bench, feeding the ducks slices of bread from a small bag.
"Look, Uncle H, they have bread! Can we ask them for a slice?" Noah exclaimed, his excitement returning at the prospect of feeding the ducks.
Harry hesitated, his brow furrowing in uncertainty.
"Noah, buddy, we can't just ask people f’their bread," he began, but before he could finish, Noah was already darting towards the elderly couple, his enthusiasm undeterred.
"Excuse me, can we have some bread to feed the ducks, please? My uncle H forgot!" Noah asked earnestly, his eyes wide with hope as he approached the couple.
The elderly woman smiled kindly at Noah, her eyes twinkling with warmth.
"Of course, dear. Here, take a slice," she said, offering him a piece of bread from the bag.
And just like that Noah was running off towards the water, as Harry kept a watchful eye on the young boy he cared so deeply for.
As Noah happily fed the ducks with the bread he had received from the kind elderly couple, Harry approached them with a grateful smile.
"Thank y’so much f’letting him have some bread. M’sorry about him, he's not shy to ask for anything from anyone," Harry apologized, his tone apologetic yet amused.
The women smiled warmly at Harry's words.
"Oh, it's no trouble at all. We're happy to share," she replied kindly, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she watched Noah's delight.
The man who was accompanying her chuckled, his deep voice carrying a sense of camaraderie.
"That's the spirit. Kids have a way of reminding us to embrace life's simple pleasures," he remarked, nodding towards Noah.
Harry found himself drawn into conversation with the couple, their easygoing demeanor putting him at ease.
"M’name's Harry, by the way," he introduced himself, extending a hand in greeting.
"Nice to meet you, Harry. I'm Mary, and this is my husband, Barney," Mary replied, shaking Harry's hand with a firm grip. "We've been coming to this duck pond every Tuesday for as long as I can remember."
Barney nodded in agreement.
"It's become a bit of a tradition for us. We find it's the perfect way to spend our day off together," he explained, a fond smile playing on his lips.
As they chatted, Harry learned more about Mary and Barney's life together – their love of nature, their shared interests, and the joy they found in the simple pleasures of everyday life. He found himself opening up to them, sharing stories of his own experiences and adventures with Noah.
"There's something special about being out in nature, isn't there? It's good for the soul," Mary remarked, her gaze wandering across the tranquil expanse of the duck pond.
Harry nodded in agreement, a sense of peace settling over him.
"Absolutely. S’moments like these that make life truly meaningful," he agreed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Talking to the two of them seemed to stop time, and before he knew it, the sun was already starting to set in the background.
As Harry glanced down at the Apple Watch on his wrist, he realized the time had flown by faster than he had anticipated.
He clapped his hands together, a smile tugging at his lips, and said, "Well, I best get going. Noah's got to have his dinner soon."
Mary and Barney nodded understandingly, their faces reflecting the warmth of their earlier conversation.
Just as Harry began to turn away, Mary's voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Before you go, young man, I wanted to mention something," Mary said, her tone gentle yet earnest. "Barney and I actually own a café on the corner of Canal Street called Timeless Brews. If you ever find yourself in the area, you're more than welcome to pop by. We'd love to see you."
Harry's eyes widened in surprise, a genuine smile spreading across his face.
"Thank you, Mary. That's incredibly kind of you," he replied gratefully. "I'll definitely make sure to stop by sometime."
Barney chimed in with a hearty chuckle.
"Consider it an open invitation, Harry. We'd be delighted to have you as our guest," he said warmly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
As Harry bid farewell to Mary and Barney, a sense of gratitude filled his heart.
In just a short time, he had forged a connection with this kindhearted couple, and he couldn't help but feel touched by their generosity. With a final wave, he turned to Noah, who was already bounding ahead, eager to continue their adventure.
As they walked away from the duck pond, Harry couldn't shake the feeling of warmth and camaraderie that lingered in the air. He knew that he had made two new friends today, and he looked forward to the possibility of visiting Timeless Brews and sharing more conversations with Mary and Barney in the future.
From a young age, Harry's fascination with the world of medicine was sparked by a pivotal moment in his childhood. At the tender age of ten, he found himself in the confines of a hospital room, his ankle throbbing with pain after a clumsy fall. As he lay in the hospital bed, surrounded by the reassuring presence of doctors and nurses,
Harry knew with unwavering certainty that he wanted to dedicate his life to helping others in the same way they had helped him.
Driven by this newfound sense of purpose, Harry immersed himself in his studies, excelling academically and setting his sights on a future in medicine. At the age of eighteen, his hard work and dedication paid off when he received the news of his acceptance into Oxford University's prestigious Doctor of Medicine program.
With a heart full of ambition and determination, Harry embarked on this new chapter of his life with unwavering resolve.
Over the course of six intense years, Harry immersed himself in the rigors of medical education, delving deep into the intricacies of the human body and honing his skills as a healer.
With each passing year, he grew more confident in his abilities and more passionate about his chosen field, fueled by a relentless desire to make a difference in the lives of others.
Upon graduating from Oxford at the age of twenty-four, Harry's journey had only just begun. Armed with knowledge, experience, and an unyielding commitment to his calling, he eagerly embraced the opportunity to put his skills to the test in the real world.
Eight months later, he found himself walking the halls of The Manchester Royal Infirmary, a newly minted doctor ready to embark on the next phase of his career.
Now, at the age of twenty-six, Harry finds himself living his dream. He's found fulfillment and purpose in his work, relishing the challenges and rewards that come with each day in the hospital.
Yet, amidst the hustle and bustle of his professional life, there lingers a quiet longing for something more – the perfect partner to share his journey with.
And then, you walked into the hospital – an ethereal presence that captivated Harry from the moment he laid eyes on you. Though he knows he must maintain a professional demeanor, there's an undeniable pull, a spark of connection that ignites within him at the sight of you.
As he goes about his duties, his thoughts drift to you, everything about you, wondering if fate will bring them together once more.
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10th February, 2024.
As Harry's shift at the hospital came to an end, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. The late shift, starting at 10:45 pm and ending at 9 am, had been a challenging one.
He had encountered a variety of cases, from a patient with a shard of glass lodged near a femoral artery to a young man suffering from alcohol intoxication who had vomited uncontrollably.
Despite the intensity of these emergencies, Harry had remained calm and composed, providing expert care and ensuring the safety of his patients.
Now, as he made his way out of the hospital, Harry couldn't help but feel a twinge of exhaustion creeping in. The long hours had taken their toll, but he knew that his dedication to his profession was unwavering. He looked forward to the weekend ahead, eager to recharge and spend time with loved ones.
As he walked through the hospital corridors, Harry's thoughts turned to his aspirations for advancement within the medical field. He had been diligently working towards a promotion to become the Clinical Lead, a position currently held by Marcus, who was set to retire soon.
Harry knew that achieving this goal would require dedication and perseverance, but he was determined to rise to the challenge.
As Harry made his way towards the exit, he detoured towards the doctor's desk where his colleague Miranda was stationed.
"Hey, M," he greeted her with a tired but friendly smile. "Just wanted t’give y’a heads up about the patient in cubicle five. They're allergic to morphine, but it wasn't in their notes, so be sure to double-check before administering any medication. Oh, and they're booked in for a CT scan at eleven o'clock."
Miranda nodded, her expression attentive as she took note of Harry's instructions.
"Got it, thanks for letting me know, Haz. I'll make sure to handle it," she assured him, her voice calm and confident.
Just as Harry was about to head out, another colleague approached him. It was Mitch, with his signature man bun and glasses perched on the edge of his nose.
Mitch was most definitely one of his best friends, they shared a dorm at Oxford and were lucky enough to both get a job at the same hospital. Mitch was specialised in paediatrics so they hardly saw each other when working but when they did they always had a good time.
They sometimes ate together on there lunch breaks.
"Hey, bud," Mitch greeted him with a grin. "What shifts are you doing tomorrow?"
Harry glanced at his watch before replying,
"I'm on an early. I'll be in f’seven," he answered, his tone weary but determined.
Mitch nodded in understanding, his expression sympathetic.
"Early shift, huh? Well, try to get some rest, mate. You've earned it," he said, patting Harry on the back in a gesture of camaraderie.
"Thanks, man. I'll do m’best," Harry replied with a grateful smile, appreciating the support from his colleague.
As Harry stepped out of the hospital's exit, the cool morning breeze greeted him, stirring a newfound hunger in his stomach. It had been nearly five hours since his last meal, and the thought of a hearty breakfast was tantalizing. Toast sounded particularly appealing at the moment, simple yet satisfying.
Recalling the conversation he had with the couple at the park the other day, Harry remembered their mention of a cafe they owned nearby. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he considered the possibility of finding a cozy spot to enjoy a meal. The idea of supporting a local business while indulging in some much-needed nourishment appealed to him greatly.
With determination in his stride, Harry made his way to his black Range Rover parked nearby. Slipping behind the wheel, he navigated the bustling streets of Canal Street, the anticipation of discovering a new culinary gem fueling his excitement. Despite the morning rush, he remained focused on his mission, determined to satisfy his hunger with a delicious meal.
After a brief ten-minute drive, Harry finally found a parking space outside the cafe. With a sense of satisfaction, he turned off the engine and stepped out of his car, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. With each step towards the entrance, Harry's anticipation grew, eager to experience what the cafe had to offer.
As Harry entered the cafe, a small bell above the door tinkled lightly, announcing his arrival. He scanned the cozy interior, his eyes immediately landing on an inviting empty table by the window. Making his way over, he settled into the chair, already relishing the prospect of a hot cup of coffee and some toast.
Before he could even glance at the menu, the elderly woman from the park approached his table with a warm smile.
"Well, look who it is! I'm so glad you decided to stop by," she greeted him cheerfully.
Harry returned her smile, feeling a sense of familiarity and warmth in her presence.
"I couldn't resist," he admitted.
The woman beamed with delight.
"Oh, I'm thrilled to hear that! Someone will be with you shortly to take your order. In the meantime, make yourself at home," she said warmly before bustling off to attend to another customer.
Harry leaned back in his chair, feeling a sense of comfort settle over him in the quaint surroundings of the cafe.
As you stand behind the counter, wiping down the coffee machine, Mary, approaches you with a gentle smile.
"Table nine needs to have his order taken," she informs you kindly.
You nod in acknowledgment, trying to ignore the pain throbbing in your ribs and your lower leg.
Retrieving your notepad and pen from under the counter, you attempt to conceal your limp as you make your way over to table nine.
Approaching the table, you and Harry seem to recognize each other simultaneously.
Both of your eyes widen.
Both your mouths go dry.
You blink a few times, getting yourself out of the daze you seem to be captured in as you muster up a fake smile and ask him what he'd like to order.
Before you can finish your question, Harry interrupts you, his voice filled with concern.
"I wondered what had happened t’you," he admits, his gaze searching yours.
You tilt your head to the side, feigning innocence, though you know exactly what he's referring to.
"Oh, it was nothing serious," you reply casually, hoping to brush off the topic.
But it was.
Harry sighs, his expression filled with sincerity.
"Y’discharged yourself before your X-ray," he points out, his tone gentle yet firm. "You wouldn't have done that. You know doctors are there to help people."
You let out a resigned sigh, knowing he's right but unwilling to admit it.
"I didn't want to waste the doctor's time," you murmur, avoiding his gaze as you fiddle with your pen.
Harry's brow furrows in concern.
"Every patient is important, Y/N," he says softly, his voice filled with compassion.
He remembers your name?
"Y’shouldn't have discharged yourself. What happened to you?"
You muster up a fake laugh, hoping to deflect his concern.
"Oh, it was nothing much," you reply nonchalantly, though the memories of the past week weigh heavily on your mind. "Just a few bumps and bruises. I'm fine now."
Harry sighs, his expression troubled.
"I was there to help you," he says earnestly, his eyes searching yours. "And I'll always be here to help you. Y’don’t have to go through these things alone.”
Harry's gaze remains fixed on you, his concern evident as he waits for your response.
You shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny, the weight of his words weighing heavily on your shoulders.
"I appreciate your concern, Harry," you say, your voice tinged with reluctance. "But really, there's nothing to worry about. I'm fine."
Harry's brow furrows further, his concern deepening.
"Y/N, I can see that you're in pain," he observes, his tone gentle yet insistent.
You bite your lip, torn between the urge to confide in him and the instinct to keep your struggles hidden.
"It's just... life, you know?" you reply evasively, hoping to deflect his questions. "Nothing I can't handle."
Harry's gaze softens, his empathy shining through as he reaches out a hand towards yours.
"You don't have to handle everything on y’own, Y/N," he says softly. "Sometimes s’okay to lean on others for support."
You pull away slightly, the walls around your heart growing stronger as you push him away.
"I appreciate your concern, Harry," you repeat, your voice firmer this time. "But I'm fine. Really."
Harry's expression falls, a flicker of hurt passing through his eyes before he nods in reluctant acceptance.
"Okay," he says quietly, though the disappointment lingers in his voice. "If y’ever need someone to talk to, m’here."
But where would you ever find him?
You shift your focus to the menu in front of you, grateful for the temporary distraction it provides.
"And what can I get for you today?" you ask, forcing a polite smile as you glance up at Harry.
His gaze flickers down to the menu briefly before returning to meet yours.
"Just a black coffee with a tuna panini, please," he replies, his voice calm and composed.
You nod, scribbling down his order on your notepad as you fight to maintain your composure.
"Sure thing," you say, your voice steady despite the ache in your ribs.
With a tight smile, you turn away, doing your best to conceal the slight limp in your step as you make your way back to the counter.
You walk over to the coffee machine, the familiar hum of its machinery offering a momentary reprieve from the turmoil swirling within you. With practiced efficiency, you begin the process of brewing Harry's black coffee, the rich aroma filling the air as the dark liquid flows into the waiting cup.
As the coffee finishes brewing, you carefully pour it into a ceramic cup, the warmth seeping through the porcelain and into your hands. Despite the ache in your ribs and the lingering pain in your leg, you focus on the task at hand, determined to see it through with unwavering precision.
You carefully balance the tray in one hand, holding Harry's black coffee securely as you navigate your way back to his table.
Despite your best efforts to conceal it, the persistent ache in your ribs and the throbbing pain in your leg threaten to betray you with every step.
As you approach Harry's table, your foot catches on an uneven tile, sending you stumbling forward. Your heart races as you fight to regain your balance, but it's too late.
With a sharp crack, the glass mug slips from your grasp, shattering into pieces on the floor in front of you.
A gasp escapes your lips as you watch the coffee spill across the tiles, the warm liquid mingling with the shards of broken glass. Heat rises to your cheeks as embarrassment floods through you, your pulse pounding in your ears as you struggle to compose yourself.
Harry's concerned voice cuts through the chaos, his words a blur as he rushes to your side.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his brow furrowed with worry as he rushes to your side.
You freeze at the sound of his voice, your heart pounding in your chest as a surge of panic threatens to overwhelm you.
Memories of Corey's anger and violence flood your mind, leaving you trembling in fear.
Harry's hand reaches out to touch your shoulder, but you flinch away instinctively, your body tensing with apprehension.
"Easy, easy," he murmurs softly, his voice gentle as he takes a step closer. "I just want to make sure y’alright."
The sincerity in Harry's words sends a jolt of conflicting emotions coursing through you. Part of you longs to believe him, to surrender to the warmth of his concern and let him chase away the shadows that haunt you.
But another part, hardened by years of trauma, recoils from his touch, wary of the vulnerability that comes with trust.
Struggling to find your voice amidst the turmoil raging within you, you take a shaky step back, your gaze darting nervously around the room.
"I'm... I'm fine," you manage to choke out, though the words taste like ash on your tongue.
Harry's expression softens, his eyes filled with genuine concern as he takes in your trembling form.
"Y’don't look fine," he says gently, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please, let me help you."
The sincerity in Harry's voice is like a lifeline in the darkness, offering you a glimmer of hope amidst the chaos. But the walls you've built around your heart remain steadfast, the fear of vulnerability too great to overcome.
With a heavy heart, Harry watches as you push yourself to your feet and bolt towards the back of the cafe, disappearing from sight before he can reach out to stop you.
Left standing amidst the wreckage, he can't help but feel a pang of regret, knowing that he's let you slip through his fingers once again. But deep down, he knows that he won't give up on you, not when there's still a chance to break through the walls that surround your wounded heart.
He flickers his eyes up, and catches the eyes of Barney, but the elderly man just casts his eyes back down to the floor.
As you reach the relative safety of the back room, you lean against the wall, gasping for breath as tears prick at the corners of your eyes.
The sound of your own heartbeat echoes in your ears, a relentless reminder of the darkness that lurks within you, threatening to swallow you whole.
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LATER THAT NIGHT….
Corey storms into the room, his footsteps heavy with anger.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you shrink back against the headboard, clutching your book tightly to your chest.
"Why isn't there any food on the table?" Corey's voice cuts through the silence like a knife, his tone sharp with frustration.
You stutter out a feeble excuse, explaining that you only just got home from work and haven't had time to cook anything.
"But... I was thinking... maybe we could order takeout?" you offer tentatively, your voice trembling with apprehension.
The suggestion only seems to fuel his rage further.
"You know I don't like eating fast food," he snaps, his voice laced with contempt as he strides towards you.
Without warning, he grabs your hair, wrenching your head back to meet his furious gaze.
Panic courses through you as you struggle to find your voice, your mind racing with fear and confusion.
"There's... there's not much food in the house," you stammer, your words barely audible above the pounding of your heart.
You hadn’t had time to go shopping today.
Corey's grip tightens, his fingers digging into your scalp as he leans in close, his breath hot against your skin.
"You're so useless," he sneers, his words dripping with venom.
"Fat, lazy, good-for-nothing..."
The room spins as Corey's tirade continues, his insults cutting deeper with each passing moment.
Desperate to escape, you try to push him away, but his grip only tightens, trapping you in a nightmare from which there seems to be no escape.
Suddenly, with a violent outburst, Corey grabs the lamp from the bedside table and hurls it against the wall, the sound of shattering glass echoing through the room.
Tears blur your vision as you shrink back against the bed, utterly petrified by the display of his rage.
As Corey advances towards you with a fiery rage burning in his eyes, you scramble to your feet, desperately trying to evade his grasp.
With a surge of adrenaline, you manage to slip past him, your heart pounding in your chest as you bolt towards the stairs.
But just as you reach the top step, Corey's hand snags your arm, wrenching you around with a brutal force that sends you reeling.
"How dare you run away from me?" he hisses, his breath hot against your face as flecks of spit land on your skin. "You should never turn your back on your boyfriend."
Terror courses through you as you try to reason with him, your voice trembling with fear.
"Corey, please... You're hurting me," you manage to stammer, but your words fall on deaf ears.
Corey's laughter cuts through the air like a knife, his eyes gleaming with a sadistic amusement.
"Hurting you?" he mocks, his voice dripping with disdain.
"This isn't hurting you, sweetheart. This is."
And with a sudden shove, he sends you tumbling down the stairs, your body crashing against the unforgiving steps with a sickening thud.
Agony radiates through every fiber of your being as you lie at the bottom of the staircase, your ribs screaming in protest with each labored breath.
Tears blur your vision as you curl into a ball, the weight of Corey's betrayal crushing down upon you like a suffocating weight.
With a gasp, you jolt awake from the nightmare, your heart pounding in your chest as if trying to escape the confines of your ribcage.
The events that caused you to head to the hospital in the first place continuously running through your head leading to sleepless night after sleepless night.
Beads of sweat cling to your forehead, your hair damp and tangled against your skin, as the remnants of the horrifying dream linger in your mind like a haunting specter.
As you turn to your left, the empty space beside you serves as a stark reminder of Corey's absence. The sinking realization settles in that he's likely out drinking again, his drunken antics and volatile behavior a constant source of fear and uncertainty in your life.
Gazing out of the window, you're met with the sight of a full moon casting an eerie glow over the world below. Its ethereal light illuminates the darkness, casting long shadows that seem to dance with malevolent intent.
A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you ponder the endless cycle of fear and despair that has become your reality.
How much longer will you have to endure this nightmare?
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tag list: @fictionalmensblog @hermionelove @angel32112233 @moneybaby07 @hannah9921 @definegirlfriendsx
202 notes · View notes
heartofwritiing · 4 months
Note
could you write wilbur soot confessing his love to a crush? 👉👈
something about how he's been pinning after this crush for so long, but the crush seems a bit avoidant or something
but that's because the crush also has a crush on him and is very very shy qpwimsmanssjslslek sorry im not good with requests
You and me need never be, lonely again.
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Paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!cc!reader
authors note: Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you don't mind the reader being a content creator and i’m sorry she’s not super shy because im not really sure how to write shy lol but i hope you like the request! I just thought it would add to the idea and I've wanted to do something similar to this for a while! This is a request back from august. I am so sorry this took me so long to get out. I've been going through some shit irl but I'm finally starting to come back to writing because I genuinely love it and posting on here since it is my safe space!
line from this prompt list
warnings: friends-lovers, reader lives in the US, brief description of anxiety, the reader sends mixed signals, swearing, kinda angsty, happy end, super unedited!
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"No! That was such bullshit!"
The voice of Tommyinnit ran through the speakers of your computer causing you to let out a chuckle that you were the reason for his outburst.
You were playing Gang Beasts on stream with some of your closest friends, and you had grabbed Tommy's character and thrown him off the map by picking him up.
Laughter rang out amongst the group as the screen card popped up saying your username won. You cheered as everyone groaned but dispersed into 'ggs' then that's when everyone started to bid goodnight. You hadn't realized it had been four hours of streaming and playing games, showing the good time you were having with friends.
"Alright chat, that's gonna be it for me today! Please remember to click the follow button if you're new to stream that way you'll know when I go live! byeee!" You did your outro, quickly closed your stream down, and logged out of Twitch.
It was an uneventful stream session, thank god. You’ve noticed more and more how your chat gets when you even mention wilburs name.
“you logging off completely y/n/n?” Ranboos voices asks through your earbuds.
“No, I’ll play a few more rounds if you guys are down,” you respond.
“HELL YEAH!” Tommy boasted. “IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS THIS TIME Y/N/N!”
“Oh, it’s on gremlin child!” you replied.
Wilbur listened to this conversation on his end, letting out a chuckle. He honestly doesn’t know why you make him laugh so easily. Anytime you threw a genius comment toward Tommy that was deemed insulting, or calling him a name Wilbur fell for you more and more. If only he had the guts to tell you.
You as well wouldn’t admit it but every time Wilbur laughed all you could feel was butterflies punching your stomach and a smile that made your cheeks hurt. You were also falling hard for him.
After about another fifteen minutes, Tommy and Ranboo had bid their goodbyes for the night and ended their calls. You were left in call with Wilbur, the silence could be cut with a knife.
Knowing him for two years was hard. Wilbur was everything to you. He was funny, smart, charming, and overall made you feel comfortable. Something you thought you’d never have with anyone. Having to only talk on call and video made things easier for you. On call you could hide your blushes and smiles from him, but not from your chat who caught every interaction between you and Wilbur when you streamed. The constant ’Wilbur x name confirmed?’ tweets and comments in your twitch chat were recently repetitive and you wondered when you became such a beacon of attention. It gave you such anxiety to have all eyes on you when you wanted to spend time with your best friend.
It was getting obnoxious to the point where you debated making a tweet to get the fans to stop shipping you both, even if you were dating it was no one’s business. Still you never dared to say anything out of fear of stans coming at you in anyway. You didn’t need to draw more unwanted attention to yourself.
“You logging off? it’s getting pretty late for you,” you spoke up.
“Yeah, we both should, by the way what times your flight tomorrow?”
Right, you were flying less than eight hours from now to finally meet your friends inperson. You all had planned this for months, booking hotels and flights, making a whole deal about it. Then you really wouldn’t be able to hide from him for a whole week.
“Around seven-thirty,” you reply.
He hums.
“I’ll let you get some rest, see you tomorrow night darling,” his voice purposely going lower on the ‘darling’ part that you almost didn’t catch it, making your knees go weak.
“N-night Will,” you stutter, end call and slump back into your desk chair trying to calm your racing heart. Meanwhile Wilbur all the way across the ocean in Brighton has a smile plastered across his lips.
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About a plane ride, a train ride and car ride later, you are stood in the hotel lobby in Brighton waiting for a late Tommy and Wilbur to arrive. You were super nervous to meet them. Having only been friends for what was a short time, it felt like you knew them for years, so why was this so scary?
You debated in your mind about texting them to see if they were close by, but you didn’t want to come off as annoying and impatient. You wanted to make a good first impression, but again these were your friends. Why were you shaking with nerves?
You fiddled with your thumb’s absentmindedly until you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, causing you to jump out of your skin. You spin around to be met with a cackling Tommy who is clucking his stomach from laughing so hard at your reaction.
“Fucking gremlin child,” you huffed under your breath, not realizing the evident blood rushing to your cheeks from being startled so easily.
“It’s nice to hear you say that in person,” a deep voice said from behind Tommy. You shifted your eyes to see a very tall Wilbur, who was wearing his round glasses pushed up his nose and curly hair fluffed to the side.
His dark sweater selves rolled up to revel his arms tucked into his side as he gazed at you with a soft smile. Finally after two years of being separated by seas, your best friend was standing right in front of you. It was surreal to say the least.
You laugh and jump forward to embrace him. The number of times you’d tease him over-call about his height made you regret your words. He towers over you as he bends down to your level to give you a long awaited hug. His arms are soft, yet firm as they wrap around your back and cage you into his embrace.
You both pull away, both grinning from ear to ear. He looks down at you with a hint of something behind his eyes, he seems to be genuinely happy to finally meet you in person. which makes you blush at the thought of him looking forward to this moment since you told him you wanted to come here. You're quickly brought out of your moment when Tommy speaks up behind you.
"So he gets a hug and I don't?!" his tone slightly offended.
"Yup, cause you're annoying," you bring a hand up to flick his forehead, causing him to let out a irritated noise. you had only just met him in person but something compelled you to do that. Maybe it was just a reason for you to break the ice and it was working because you all broke out into giggles.
“Im just kidding Tom,” you motion him into a hug.
Wilbur just stood observing the entire interaction between his two best friends. He was thrilled to finally have you here, he couldn't wait to show you all his favorite places, hang out, and get to know better in person. Finally.
The two boys had managed to drag you to the beach, and even though it was freezing Tommy insisted on going to the arcade to try and win another 'vlog gun'. After suffering through loosing a few games, Wilbur managed to win you a little stuffed cat that you promptly named Mr Whiskers.
It was endearing to watch him struggle at most of the games so he could get enough tickets. It was all worth it in his eyes to embarrass himself by losing ski-ball to you, twice, he saw the evident blush on your cheeks and the look you gave him. As if he hung the stars in the sky just for you. It made his chest hurt in a good way.
The rest of the night went smoothly for the most part. More and more, Wilbur had been getting more touchy with you. Though you didn’t mind it at all, maybe he didn’t realize how much he was putting his hand on you as you walked side by side as he led you through crowds. How he held doors open for you. It was sweet.
Maybe he was doing it just to be nice. That small voice in the back of your head telling you thats all it was. Because thats what friends do.
Eventually, the three of you met up with Ranboo and Charlie. They were just how they were online, which made meeting them a whole lot better. Walking around Brighton, making inside jokes and teasing each other. You hadn't been this happy in a while. You can remember the last time you genuinely enjoyed yourself, your friends were the product of that. You were fortunate to have found them when you did. Quarantine was hard on you, much like the rest of the world. So when you were invited to join a group game call, you couldn't pass up the opportunity. That night, something had clicked between you and Wilburt specifically. Then you started to join more calls with the gang and the rest was history.
Sometime in the night, you found yourself walking behind with Wilbur by your side chatting about nothing in particular. Until the comfortable silence filled the air between you, you took a moment to take in the nightlife of Brighton. The street lamps guide your way through the beachside and the pubs on the corner were starting to fill up. As if the city was somehow more alive at night.
"I'm really glad you came," Wilbur speaks, sincerely.
You stop your wide-eyed gaze to look at him and smile softly at him.
"I am too," You gush. "I'm honestly considering moving here,” Now he’s smiling.
Wilbur's brain starts to go a million miles a second. His heart leaped at the thought of you living closer to him. Seeing you in person everyday seemed like a dream come true. He begins to slow his step and a frown replaces your smile. Your own thoughts running rampant now, assuming you might've freaked him out by voicing that you wanted to move here so soon after meeting him in person. Maybe it made him uncomfortable. it was too soon to say something that bold. You had only just met him in person today.
"Listen, Y/N..."
You stopped and your brain got the best of you with his tone. You shouldn't have said anything like that to him. It was too soon.
“I don’t want to sound cheesy, but I need you to know how I feel.”
Oh... OH.
You knew what this was leading to. Realizing why he was acting the way he was all day.
"I like you, more than like you. You're funny, beautiful, smart, and everything I could've hoped for in a best friend. But I can't keep pretending I don't think of you when we aren't talking, or how when I look at you my chest hurts."
Wilbur liked you. Really liked you. You would jump for joy and shout to the rooftops about how much you reciprocate his feelings but something in the back of your mind told you not to. The doubt in your mind from yourself, both your fans online judging. It made you slowly start to panic. You felt as though you weren’t good enough for him.
You saw the aftermath of when his fans shipped him and Niki together. It almost ruined their friendship. You didn’t want that.
"Please say something?" he stops his rant to notice you are staring up at him with blank eyes.
"I-uh," you stutter. "can we maybe not do this now?"
His face falls and it instantly crushes you with regret. His disappointment shows as he gives you a forced smile and nods.
"Y-yeah, let's catch up with everyone, Tommy wants to do this big stream at his place." he gestures for you to move along with him, all while you feel horrible for doing this.
You wish you could take back what you said. You know you've hurt him, It's painfully obvious when he doesn't talk to you for the rest of the walk. You glance at him a few times but he keeps his eyes forward and stoic.
If only you didn’t let your anxiety get the best of you. You had to talk to him at some point, but for now you pushed it aside. The rest of the group didn’t seem to notice the sudden tension between the two of you, if they did nothing was remarked about it.
As you continued the journey to Tommys flat, you and Wilbur still walked silently side by side. With what little courage you had, you reached out your hand and held his in a moment of truce. Giving it a gentle squeeze with your fingers to seal the deal that you would talk later. You heard his soft inhale at the contact and he squeezes back. Your shoulders drop from the weight of tension being lifted off. Maybe, just maybe this ment this conversation wasn’t over.
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Back at Tommy’s, the monitor in his cramped bedroom with everyone packed together like sardines; shows the twitch chat flashing by with viewers comments.
“WELCOME BACK TO THE STREAM EVERYONE!” Tommy shouted causing you to hold your ear in slight pain.
“God Tommy, could you be anymore loud?” you wince.
“Look who’s here chat!” he gestured to you with his hands, ignoring your complaints. You waved at the webcam as chat went crazy. He introduced everyone else as they all broke out into a chorus of conversation.
Wilbur was mostly quiet on your left, an occasional sarcastic comment made here and there. You could practically feel his eyes buring into the side of your head. Hopping chat wasn’t noticing how he was looking at you, your eyes shifting to your lap to fidget with your fingers.
Out of view, Wilbur reached over and took your hand picking at the skin around your nails. You had stopped your nervous tick and opted for squeezing his hand. Nobody seemed to notice the sudden shift in both your behavior.
Suddenly you felt tense, the feeling of having everyone’s eyes on you made your mind start to spiral.
Letting go of Wilburs hand, you quickly had excused yourself and walked out of Tommys room and into the kitchen.
Everyone had a mix of concerned and worried expressions as they watched you leave the room but didn’t say anything about it. Wilbur had followed you in pursuit. He found you in the kitchen hyperventilating Your panic had taken over and now your lungs were paying the price for the burning sensation from not breathing.
“it's okay,” he took your face into his hands and held you. “just follow my breaths.
he took a breath in, and you followed.
When you came to your senses, Wilbur had asked you what was wrong and you just began to cry. Everything came rushing down on you.
“Im sorry. I-Im sorry I shot you down earlier, Im sorry for h-hurting you. I-i,” you stuttered over yourself. Wilbur shakes his head at you. He probably thinks you’re such a mess.
“I don’t understand, I know you like me too, so I don’t understand why you rejected me after I poured my heart out to you. Then you go and hold my hand while we're walking.'
Wilbur was right. Playing with his feelings was selfish and cruel. He was completely in the right to question you. You were practically flirting with one another all day, and then you shut down his advances of trying to open your relationship.
“I do wanna be with you.” you sniff. “I'm just really scared.”
"Why darling? It's just me, your silly old Wil." he pokes at your sides causing you to let out a giggle. Your best friend, who looked at you with the prettiest chocolate eyes, who stayed on call with you all night when you couldn't sleep. The only person you told your deepest fears and dreams to.
You take a shaky inhale as you begin to explain. "I don't wanna ruin our friendship, we have something I've never experienced with anyone else in my life. I care about you too much to let me be a distraction in your life, and I am scared that the fans will-"
Wilbur interrupts you with a hand on your arm.
"The fans? darling who cares about that, I care way too much about you to even care about what strangers think. It's no one's business who I, or you for that matter have a relationship with." he clarified. "I love you and nothing or no one will ever change that."
Those three words made your heart leap in your throat.
"Y-you l-love me?" you stutter in disbelief.
"Yes, of course I do."
Tears roll down the apples of your cheeks as you lean forward to engulf Wilbur into another hug. His arms wrapped around your back reciprocating your embrace. your face buried in his neck as you inhale his cologne and your tears dampen his skin.
"I love you too Wil," you whisper.
He squeezes you closer to him in return and this time you don't hold yourself back...
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taglist: @trashcanduck @ax-y10 @mysticalsoot @idontreallyexistyet @loonalvjy @toastyliltoasts41
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matan4il · 2 months
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sorry if this isn't a good place to ask but you're one of the few blogs on here that has actually done any research at all on the subject and. yknow how the pro-palestine donation posts repeatedly give you the option to buy esims specifically. why is that? I've never seen any other movement where the donation posts had you buy esims for them. what fucking use *are* they? you can't eat them, drink them- you might be able to order food with them if it wasn't for the fucking war.
maybe this is cynicism on my part but i genuinely suspect they're being used by hamas to spread propaganda. why else would they need that many esims? but you definitely know more about this than i do.
Hi lovely, sorry it took me a moment to reply!
I can tell you that even before I got this ask, the eSims campaign struck me as odd and suspicious, based on a few basic things I know, but if I was going to reply to you on this, I needed to do some research about it.
To make this ask reply clear, by "connectivity" I mean the ability to either make phone calls, log onto the internet, or both.
Okay, so why did this campaign make me wonder in the first place? Because while there have been some connectivity problems for Gazans, from what I know, there was only one time when connectivity was down to a degree that would justify a campaign, even then it wasn't completely gone for good, because Israel has worked to restore connectivity to Gazans. But I also wondered whether, if the connectivity is down, an eSim would be the solution? And if it would be, why would there be a need for that many eSims? We're over 5.5 months into this war, that's almost half a year of constantly hearing how Gaza is about to starve, so are eSims really Gazans' biggest problem if they have no food and basic needs? But even if it was enough of a problem to merit a campaign, wouldn't there have been more than enough donations by now to have solved it to a considerable degree? Since connectivity was never fully gone for long, surely there's a limit to how many more eSims they actually need, at least at certain points in time? From my experience with donating to Israelis displaced or affected by Palestinian terrorists (in this war, as well as during previous crises), there does come a time when you hear, "Okay, thank you to everyone donating X, we have enough of that, what we need now is more of Y, we would really appreciate you donating that!" But there has been no moment when we saw the eSims campaign saying, "We've had enough donations of this type, thank you, now please look more into donating X or Y, which Gazans currently need more."
And that led me to another question - if there is a certain scam involved here, what kind? Is it a financial one? Is this just meant to get money from the rest of the world feeling bad for Palestinians, and beyond the financial theft, it's harmless? Or is the money going to Hamas and people affiliated with it, which means it might be financing terrorism and the continuation of killing? Or maybe the scam is in allowing Hamas terrorists connectivity that can't be tracked as easily by Israeli security forces, which are trying to avert terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians?
I am not the biggest expert, so I don't have all the answers, but here's what I have managed to figure out.
So, first of all, connectivity requires physical infrastructure. Israel has been providing that for Gaza for years, in the form of underground cables and cellular antennas positioned on both sides of Israel's border with Gaza (source in Hebrew). The Oct 7 massacre initiated by Hamas and the following war have at times physically damaged this infrastructure, which is why Gaza has had less connectivity than usual (though it's not gone). The one time which was the worst, in terms of connectivity, the internet (but not all connectivity) was down from Friday, until Israel managed to fix things on Sunday (link above is the source for all this, it's an article from Oct 31, 2023. That said, Oct is when the most connectivity issues were reported). That means that Gaza was never fully offline except for that short period of Friday to Sunday. It also means the connectivity issues are not some plot to keep Gazans from telling the world about their plight (the way I've seen the eSims campaign presented on social media), or the connectivity would be totally down, and Israel would not do anything to restore it at any point.
And I'm pointing this out to explain one of two reasons why eSims being bought for Gazans might be useless as a solution to Gaza's connectivity if Israel was actually purposely harming it. (this following part is based on me reading way too many articles about eSim technology, those can be easily found everywhere online)
If the physical infrastructure providing the signal (which mobile networks use to provide connectivity) is physically damaged, eSim technology can't bypass that. Because eSim technology doesn't provide the signal, it just allows the owner of an eSim to easily switch between mobile networks without having to switch physical SIMs provided by these networks. That means, that for the eSim to work, there has to be some connectivity anyway. There also has to be connectivity in the first place in order to activate the eSim program paid for by someone outside Gaza (not to mention, they'd need connectivity to get the code, and learn that they're getting an eSim, and how to activate it). If Israel really was intentionally cutting off Gaza's connectivity by shutting down the physical infrastructure, as it's being presented online, eSims would be completely useless. You wouldn't be able to activate them, and you wouldn't have a signal that allowed you to use them. A campaign that misrepresents the basic facts (as if Israel is intentionally denying Gazans connectivity, or as if eSims can provide connectivity all on their own) is suspect to me.
The other reason why eSims wouldn't be a solution for many (if not most) Gazans, even if you do have connectivity, is that it also requires you to have an eSim compatible smartphone. The 'e' in eSim stands for 'embedded.' That means the technology that allows the use of eSims has to be embedded into the phone you're using, and then you can buy and activate an eSim. If you buy an eSim and wanna use it with a smartphone that doesn't have the required technology embedded, that's a bit like buying a wireless charger to use with an older phone that can only be charged through a cable (it just doesn't have the technology embedded that allows it to connect to and be charged by a wireless charger). The technology allowing the use of eSims has only been embedded in more recent phone models, which Gazans are less likely to have.
Regarding that last point, I wanna explain that, as mentioned in the above Hebrew link, before the war Gaza's mobile networks were all operating on 3G technology, even though most phones now operate on 4G or even 5G technology, which means it wouldn't be worth it for the average Gazan to invest in buying a newer phone, which is presumably more expensive than an older model. Especially if it's one that can't even connect to the older 3G network.
That's not to say there wouldn't be any Gazans with newer phones. The myth spread before the war for years called Gaza a 'concentration camp' or 'open air prison' as if people there have nothing (which makes vids comparing Gaza before and after the war particularly ironic. Either there was nothing before the war, and then the war didn't change much, or Gaza was a beautiful, thriving place before the war, and then calling it a 'concentration camp' was a Holocaust distorting lie). Here's the truth, there were indeed many Gazans who were poor and didn't have that much. But there were also Gazans who were extremely rich, the gap there was one of the biggest in the world. A lot of Israelis are familiar with the Twitter hashtag that documented wealth and luxury in Gaza before the war, TheGazaYouDontSee. It was based on an Arabic speaking Israeli Jewish woman following the social media accounts of actual Gazans, and sharing in English what they would upload, showing stuff like resorts, hotels, luxury cars that most Israelis I know can't afford. You know, typical concentration camp stuff. You'd have to scroll back in the hashtag a bit to find those older tweets from before the war, some have been captured and shared on Tumblr as well.
Where does the gap come from? Not all of it, but a big part is about who is in Hamas (and who isn't), who's affiliated with Hamas (and who's not), who gets some of the donated billions of dollars being poured into Gaza over the years and mostly stolen by Hamas, who gets some of the money coming from Qatar, who gets some of the money coming from Iran, and so on. In other words, the poverty that existed in Gaza before, existed despite how much money was being invested in it for years, and because of Hamas and Hamas-related thieves, making a profit out of it, while keeping sections of the Gazan population poor and without aid.
BTW, if there would have been a permanent ceasefire now, this would just be replicated. The world would donate more money than ever, and Hamas would steal almost all of it, with a big chunk going to the financing of terrorism (building terror tunnels we now know are more extensive than the NYC subway or the London tube, stocking up on rockets, drones, explosives, assault rifles, RPGs and more, which allow Hamas to continue to fight the strongest army in the Middle East and target innocent Israeli civilians for over 5.5 months) and the rest lining up their own pockets, enabling them to lead a VERY nice, comfortable, even luxurious life.
So which Gazans are the most likely to have eSim compatible smartphones? The rich ones, who are in or associated with Hamas.
And that brings me to the question of what's the real purpose of the eSims campaign.
One aspect could be the propaganda value of such a campaign. They're not just repeatedly asking people to donate money for eSims, many posts are asking for it, while insisting on the vilifying lie that Israel is keeping Gaza disconnected on purpose. It's a bit like the boycott campaign. Starbucks is not actually affiliated with Israel or Israeli policy, it doesn't even have any branches in Israel, it tried in the past, but had to close here. So why in the world would it finance anything Israeli? When an Israeli Prime Minister has to decide whether to finish off Hamas, so that hundreds of thousands of Israelis can safely return to their homes in southern Israel, he's not calling a chain of cafes that doesn't even sell anything in this country. The only current sort-of-link to Israel, is that the CEO is Jewish. So if Starbucks is boycotted and takes a financial hit, that has zero influence on Israel or its policies. Why then has Starbucks been targeted? Maybe partly because of the CEO, which is antisemitic. But most likely, it's because Starbucks is an easy to spot brand when pics of celebs are being taken, which allows people to talk about the boycott. And that's the value, it's a PR move, to get it into everyone's head that anyone associated with Israel should be canceled. To repeat it constantly regarding different celebs, until the message gets through, that the biggest monster in this world, and the one state that everyone should be united against, is the Jewish one.
The financial aspect. Again, I'm not a big expert, but I can't really see how, if people are being asked to pay eSim providers directly, this would be done for financial gain. I could be wrong, maybe there is some way to funnel the money to the people in the campaign instead of regular Gazans, but on the surface at least, I'm not sure how (since they're not asking for the receipts, just the activation code). It could still be about financial gain in the sense that the eSims aren't providing connectivity when the physical infrastructure is down, but they mean some Gazans haven't had to pay for their internet for a while. Which ones? Most likely, the ones in or affiliated with Hamas. I personally do not like the idea of terrorists launching a massacre that is the opening shot of a war, relying on all the donations they can steal after the end of the war to make it worth while, and then as a perk getting their internet paid for by strangers.
Then there's the direct value to Hamas, meaning the option that the campaign is meant to directly help Hamas' terrorist activity, or terrorist goals. Meaning, not only are the eSims going to people who are in or have connections to Hamas, the codes are sent to them specifically to aid them with harming Israel.
Why am I considering this option? For one thing, because we know that since the start of the war, Hamas terrorists inside Gaza have been directing terrorist activity outside of it. One example is a Palestinian terrorist squad, which was directed from Gaza, and was thankfully stopped before they managed to carry out the attack they were planning, and here's another similar example, of a terrorist squad made up of 13 Israeli Arabs, and directed from Gaza on how to carry out mass terrorist attacks, stopped thanks to documents the IDF found while operating inside Gaza. An attack that was successfully carried out and was confirmed as directed from Gaza, is the one where terrorists shot to death several people in Jerusalem, during what was supposed to be a truce between Israel and Hamas, during which Israeli hostages would be released (I heard this recently on TV, online I sadly only managed to find a source that these terrorists had a track record of being directed from Gaza). These terrorist directives from Gaza require connectivity, preferably of the type that Israeli security can't track.
And we do know that our forces do track Hamas cellular activity. For example, we've learned that on Oct 6, Israel discovered weird cellular activity in Gaza, where a lot of Hamas terrorists were activating (physical) Israeli SIMs, allowing them to connect to local networks once inside Israel. This led to a discussion of Israeli army seniors in the middle of the night, on whether this is a sign that something's up, but eventually it was concluded that Hamas terrorists have done this before, so the alarm was (unfortunately) not raised, and the massacre wasn't prevented. In other words, it's possible that eSims can help Gazan Hamas terrorists to direct terrorist attacks against Israeli civilians outside Gaza, and it's also possible that, when Hamas is continuously trying to breach the Israeli border, an eSim could help them if they make it into Israel, by not needing to activate an Israeli SIM, detectable by Israeli security. IDK that this is the intent, but for me personally, I would prefer to err on the side of caution, and be sure that I haven't unknowingly donated an eSim, that might have assissted in the murder of an innocent civilian.
I also mentioned directly aiding Hamas' terrorist goals, not just their activity. This terrorist organization dared launch its massacre, despite knowing the Israeli reaction would be fierce (as any country's would be if its citizens would have been so extremely brutalized), because it relied on using regular Gazans as human shields, then showing the world horror pictures, which would get everyone distressed enough, that they would overlook the massacre, and Hamas' vow to repeat it, and focus on demanding an immediate ceasefire, saving Hamas from being destroyed. We know Hamas uses "journalists," and some of these "journalists" are actual terrorists (generally, there's no free press in Gaza thanks to Hamas) and others to broadcast this narrative of horrors (that if successful, would lead to greater horrors). The eSims campaign has mentioned specifically providing connectivity to journalists, which means serving the ability of Hamas to go on inundating the world with images that fit the narrative it needs the world to believe, in order to save itself, and continue carrying out terrorist attacks (or God forbid, massacres).
Here's the relevant citation from the campaign site, which highlights providing Gaza "journalists" with eSims:
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I'm not gonna tell anyone what to do with their money, but I'll repeat my personal POV. I do think we're all responsible for the money we donate, and we can't just give it away to causes that will make us feel good about ourselves, without making sure that the money won't end up in the hands of terrorists, and do real harm. The latter is our responsibility, even if we didn't know it will go to terrorists, because we should check and make sure that we know who the money goes to. The first responsibility we all have is, "Do no evil," right? Even the least awful scenario of what might be the driving force behind the campaign, is still one that financially compensates people affiliated with Hamas, and contributes to a false demonization of the Jewish State. But at the end of the day, this is an individual choice, that each person has to make for themselves.
I hope my reply helps! Sorry for the length, and hoping that you are doing well, and taking care of yourself! xoxox
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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sopebubbles · 11 months
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Nine
Master list
Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.
Chapter summary: encounters with people from your past challenge your future with the pack.
Warnings: people generally being assholes, mentions of blood, car accident
WC: 8.2k
A/N: when i came home and said i wanted to write, beastie said "make it hurt" so lets blame this on her.
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It's been three weeks since the pack left for the new house, leaving Yoongi and Jimin behind to fix some minor repairs on the old house and wait for you. Just this morning, Yoongi had finished patching up a hole in the drywall where Namjoon had once tripped and pushed his hand through just with his own strength. But there was still no sight or scent of you.
Yoongi had just finished making a sandwich when the front door opened and Jin walked in. 
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Yoongi grumbled before biting into his lunch.
"I came to see you," Jin replied, almost convincingly casual.
"Why?" The younger man asked with a full mouth.
Jin sighed, he genuinely wanted to be pleasant. This wasn't the first time he had come to the house and wanted to patch things up with Yoongi, but the man wasn't making it easy with his cold behavior. Still, Jin decided it would be best to be upfront so he could have a real conversation with him. "We got an offer on the house this morning."
Yoongi paused mid bite before he continued and chewed without responding.
"I wanted to run it by you," Jin continued.
Yoongi snorted. "What does it have to do with me? It's your house, yours and Hoseok's. The one your parents bought you. I've never been anything but a guest here."
"That's not true, Yoongi. You know it's not. You're an important part of our lives. I know I was selfish, but please give me a chance to show you how sorry I am and how much I love you," Jin begged. "I'll do anything."
Yoongi turned his head away, unable to look Jin in the eyes. "The only thing I want right now isn't something you can give me," he admitted. He wished that he could think of anything other than you, but even patching things up with Jin wasn't something that he could focus on for very long.
"You still haven't seen her?" Jin asked softly. Yoongi shook his head.
"Looks like she really doesn't need me to be her alpha. Hoseok was right."
Jin took a step closer, wishing he could get close enough to comfort his packmate. He'd still think of Yoongi that way no matter what. "I'm certain Hobi didn't mean that. And she doesn't seem to know what she needs, to be honest. She'd be incredibly lucky to have you as an alpha, Yoongi." 
He couldn't respond, too choked up on his own emotions. He knew that Jin was right, because he knew he'd be the best alpha possible to you, but right now he was just a mess. 
"One of the ways my mom has used to get inside my head is telling me that you want to take the pack alpha position from me," Jin admitted. 
Yoongi looked at him with surprised eyes and lifted brows. "When have I ever made you think I wanted to do that?"
Jin shrugged. "You kinda have pack alpha energy. Even my mom noticed it the few times she met you. And ever since we met you've always argued with me. Honestly, since you came to us I've always been a little insecure about it."
Yoongi laughed quietly. "To be completely honest, when I first met you guys I thought maybe I could take the leader position from you. But as soon as I got to know you, I didn't feel like I needed to."
"What changed your mind?"
"The way that you treated Tae after the incident. You were so gentle and caring with him. You never made him feel bad for what happened or shamed him. You just took care of him. And then I knew you would take care of all of us, so that's when I remember falling for you."
Jin frowned. "I'm sorry I didn't live up to that version of myself."
"You can probably do it again," Yoongi shrugged.
"I promise, I'm really trying." A moment of silence passed between them but the air felt a little lighter. "Will you and Jimin come home, please? It won't be right for any of us until you guys are there. We all miss you both."
Yoongi nodded sadly, "I guess I can't wait for her forever."
"Hobi has been putting together a room for her," Jin told him, but it only seemed to make Yoongi's heart stink further. "You will find her, Yoon."
"How?" Yoongi breathed.
"I don't know. There's this old thing that people used to talk about, called fated mates. No one really believes in them anymore. But the idea is, some people are meant to come into your life, and I don't think you would feel like this for no reason."
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If you're wondering why you haven't gone to Yoongi yet, it's because things were actually going quite well for you, at least by comparison. One company on Jimin's list stood out to you immediately. The cleaning service was owned by an omega named Ana, and you learned that she was particularly passionate about helping other omegas who escaped abusive situations like she had. She knew working gave you the ability to be independent, but that it wasn't easy to keep up. She took one look at you and knew you were exactly the kind of girl who needed her help. Jimin's name only sealed the deal, though she didn't bother to call him up. When she said someone was needed to clean at the public library, you jumped at the chance to work somewhere you already knew. 
It had been three weeks now, and everything was going well, by your standards. You were still staying at the shelter, but you'd already gotten your first paycheck and in a month or two you might be able to get yourself out of there. For the first time in several months, you felt like things might be okay.
It was almost the end of your shift when you saw them. They were standing in the aisle you were about to turn down to dust, but you pulled back as soon as their scents hit you and hid yourself behind the end of the row of shelves. Sure, those scents could belong to anyone. Everyone's scent was unique, but lots of people shared general scents. You were hardly the only apple scented omega in the world. But the combination of chestnut and pine was too familiar. It had layered the pack's house and mingled in a uniquely homey way. You were certain that it was Seokjin and one of his other alphas. You'd never gotten his name. You'd never even spoken to him or looked at him directly. For good reason, too. He was absolutely massive, standing at least a foot over you. One look at his hands and you knew that he could kill you if you upset him. Seokjin was tall and broad as well, and Taehyung was not much smaller at all, but for some reason it was the unnamed one that terrified you most. The two of them together were downright terrifying, and your brain did a good job of reminding you of that every time your inner voice started longing for Yoongi or Jimin or Hoseok.
You decided to turn back the way you came before they could smell you, too. You could hide in your custodian's closet for the next twenty minutes of your shift. It was Saturday and the library would be closed tomorrow. A little dust could wait until Monday morning.
You emerged from the closet at the end of your shift, having changed out of your cleaning uniform and into jeans and Yoongi's hoodie. It didn't smell like him anymore, but you were reminded of his scent every time you used the citrus scented cleaner for the floors. It was a mockery of his natural smell, but it brought him to mind nonetheless. Few scents have been imprinted into your brain as deeply as that one. There was a card in the front pocket of the hoodie, just a small rectangle with a name and contact information printed on it and Jimin's neat, careful numbers written on the back. The cardstock had lost its stiffness after the hours you've spent clutching it, the corners were tearing from all the worrying of your fingernails, like they were doing now.
Go catch them, she whispered in your head as you watched two tall, broad sets of shoulders walk through the doors of the library.
You know what Seokjin will do to you. 
You don't know. Yoongi wouldn't let him.
Round and round they went again, never giving you a moment's peace. 
Please call Jimin.
You walked toward the information desk where Maria sat at her computer, next to the phone.
"All done for today, Y/N?" Maria asked with a pleasant smile. You nodded.
"Can I use your phone to make a call? Mine was stolen. It's local."
"Yeah, of course. Just dial nine to call out," she said as she turned the telephone toward you.
This is a bad idea.
You picked up the receiver and pulled out the card from your pocket. You dialed nine, then five, and then you froze. A scent filled your nose, one that you hadn't smelled in many years. One you thought you'd never smell again. It was spearmint stronger than any gum or mouthwash. His scent was always so potent, you were amazed your sap parents couldn't smell it. How could they have thought he was one of them? You turned to look for him, but he saw you first.
"Y/N?"
"Eli?" You asked, astonished. You couldn't have expected to see him in this city. 
"What are you doing here?" He wondered, stepping close to you. For a moment you thought he might try to hug you, but you were never like that with your adopted brother. You hadn't seen him since you were thrown out of your parents house, and you always figured it was best that way. 
The years between his presentation and yours had been tense. You could smell him as soon as his scent started to develop. It was the first sign you had that you wouldn't turn out sap like they said you might—truthfully, your average sapiens don't understand the genetics of cross-breeding that well. And of course he was terrified of you giving away his secret, no matter how vehemently you vowed that you wouldn't. You only ever hoped you could be as lucky as him. To be a beta and to go undetected for as long as possible. But it didn't work out like that for you, and all these years you might have resented him a bit for that. 
"I work here," you confessed, looking around as people went about their business in the library. Maria looked to be paying you no mind. "I just finished. What brings you here?" 
"Just returning some books. Are you free?"
You finally placed the receiver back in its cradle and removed your hand. "Yeah, what did you have in mind?"
"Are you hungry?" Eli asked. You were and you weren't. On the one hand you hadn't eaten yet that day, but on the other, your stomach was twisted in its usual knots. You nodded anyway.
Eli took you to a diner close by and promised he was paying so you could order anything you wanted. You ordered a cheese burger to try to pack in as many calories as you could in one meal. 
"Do you still talk to them?" You asked quietly after you'd run out of small talk. Eli held your gaze for a moment before he answered.
"Sometimes," he admitted. "It's not like they were ever big talkers. But they know I'm here and about my job, my fiance."
"Fiance?"
"Yeah. We're planning to get married next year." You nodded thoughtfully. "She's sap, and she doesn't know about me," he admitted, unprovoked. You looked him deeply in the eyes before you spoke. You couldn't help feeling jealous of what that must be like, to be able to deny yourself so easily.
"How is that going?" 
"Pretty well. It's not a problem," he said, but it didn't seem to ring true on his face.
"What about you? You work at the library?"
"I clean there. I just started this month." You shifted uneasily in your chair, a little because you were uncomfortably full but also because he had been talking about himself most of the time and how he was turning the attention on you, and that never felt like a good thing.
"Oh, nice. Your pack lets you work?" 
His question caught you off guard because for one thing, you were surprised that he assumed you had a pack. For someone who was denying who they were to their most intimate partner, he sure did jump to the conclusion that you wouldn't be. But you didn't appreciate the fact that he thought you needed permission to work. For some reason you couldn't really understand, you said, "yeah."
"That's interesting. You don't meet a lot of omegas out there working in public. Seems like most alphas like to keep them locked up at home."
You wanted to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. As far as you could tell, Eli has less experience with Lykos culture than you did. What did he know about alpha and omega dynamics? But you didn't bother. "Well, my alpha isn't like that."
Eli brushed off his hands as he finished his fries. "That's good. Let me take you home. I'd like to meet them."
You didn't know the address of the pack's house, but you remembered how to get there from the library, and you were able to direct him there without much trouble. 
"It's that blue one up there," you told him when he turned onto the right street.
"This one?" Eli asked with a raised eyebrow, seeing what you did at the same time: a for sale sign with a triumphant red 'SOLD' sign sitting atop it. You swallowed thickly and felt your eyes begin to burn.
See, all these weeks of torturing yourself with indecision, and they didn't want you anyway. You never listen to me.
You could feel Eli's eyes on you, waiting for an explanation, so you cleared your throat. "I don't actually live here. I stayed here for a little bit, with a pack, but I guess they've moved on."
"Your pack left you?" He asked incredulously.
You shook your head, "they aren't actually my pack. They just took care of me for a few days when I was sick. It was a while ago. I just didn't want to tell you where I'm really staying, so I lied."
"What were you gonna do if they were here and I asked to meet them?" Eli smirked and you shrugged.
"Hope they'd play along until you left."
"And then what?"
And then ask if I could stay.
Idiot.
"I don't know," you admitted. You had no idea what you were going to do if you saw them. You didn't know what you would have said if you'd called Jimin and he'd answered earlier.
"You still haven't learned to think ahead, have you, Y/N?" Eli sighs and puts the car back in drive. "So, where are you staying?" 
You sit up straighter in your seat and reach for the door. "It's fine. You can leave me here. I've wasted enough of your time tonight."
"Don't worry about it. Just tell me where to go."
You directed Eli downtown to the shelter, only for him to have the reaction you had feared. You moved quickly to get out of his car but his hand on your arm stopped you.
"Y/N, why are you staying here?" His voice was filled with shock.
"I'm just going through a little rough patch. I'll be back on my feet soon. I have a job. I just need time," you rushed out all your defenses.
"Do you need money?" 
"No! God, I don't want your money."
"Y/N, you can't stay here. I've heard awful things about this place."
"Well, it's better than the street, or some predator."
"You can do better than this."
"I'm trying, okay! You think I like this? I don't. But what's it to you anyway! We meet randomly after five years and you're suddenly an over protective big brother? Do you think my life has been easy?" You've started to shake and you knew you were getting hysterical, but you didn't need his opinion on things he would never understand.
"Y/N, I know things haven't been easy for you. Let me help," he offered softly.
"How can you possibly help me?" You sat in the passenger seat with your arms crossed, looking every bit his teenage sister.
Eli swallowed before he spoke. "Come stay at my place for a bit."
"At your place?" He nodded. "What about your fiance? Doesn't she hate Lykos?"
"I never said she hated them."
"Us."
"Us. She just had some bad experiences with some alphas when she was younger. She doesn't really like to be around our kind," he explained, as if that made it better.
"Doesn't it make you feel crazy to have to pretend all the time?"
Eli shrugged. "I'm used to it…with our parents. They still don't know about me. It's not that hard, really. You can pretend for a little bit. You can get heat suppressants or whatever."
You know he's right.
You leaned your head back against the headrest and closed your eyes.
I don't want to pretend anymore.
What's so great about being the real you?
I'm gonna call–
If you were going to call him you would have by now and besides, they literally gave you a sign. It was all a lie. Just go with Eli. 
You sighed. "I have some stuff inside. If I leave it, they'll throw it out."
"I'll wait," Eli said and let you get out of the car. 
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Yoongi and Jimin arrived at the new house just as Hoseok was finishing dinner preparations. Taehyung had set the table for seven, and for the first time in weeks it felt complete. No one would hold it against Yoongi for needing space, or for doing what he needed to do in hopes of bringing you into their pack, but that didn't mean they hadn't missed him and Jimin like crazy.
And it wasn't as though they hadn't seen each other at all. Taehyung had driven Hoseok back to the old house on many occasions, to bring his boys food or to take their laundry, no matter how many times Yoongi insisted they could go to the laundromat. He couldn't bear the thought of it. Jungkook stopped by after work anytime he didn't have a night shift. Namjoon and Jin had come over a few evenings when Yoongi was working so that Jimin wouldn't feel lonely.
It was strange for Jimin to spend time alone. He'd spent most of his adolescence surrounded by others and then the last four years in a pack house where someone was always home. In fact, the point in his life when he was the most alone was right before he met Yoongi and the others, and moving in with them had been a huge relief. Jimin hadn't been exactly lonely during those weeks when it was just him and Yoongi, but the quiet was hard to get used to, and the noise that surrounded their return was welcomed and familiar.
No one was going to admit it, because they were too happy to be back together again, but the time apart hadn't been the worst thing in the world. It had given them space to work on bonds that they had not paid as much attention to as maybe they should have. Seokjin and Namjoon had gone on several dates, just the two of them, the pack leader letting his mate take him to every museum in town and casual trips to the library. Jin hadn't even realized how much he was neglecting the second alpha in his pack, nor how much he had truly missed quality time with him. As soon as the realization hit him, he made a heartfelt apology to Namjoon for focusing too much attention on Hoseok and their plans. Of course, Namjoon forgave him easily. He always would.
Namjoon couldn't really put it into words, but his alpha status had never sat quite right with him until he met Seokjin. Sure, he was large and strong and everything an alpha should be on the outside, but he'd never felt the stereotypical aggression or need for control that alphas were known for. This had always felt like a character flaw in himself until he met Jin, who simultaneously had shown him that being an alpha didn't mean he had to be an asshole, and who was also willing to take on the burden of control that Namjoon rejected. When he met Jin, he could just be himself, and for that he would always love him above all others.
Hoseok, too, had used his time wisely in getting more in touch with the feelings of his younger packmates. The fact that he hadn't realized how insecure Taehyung had been feeling and how often Jungkook had been sleeping outside of the nest ate at him constantly. Although he and Tae had been companions at home for years now, Hoseok made a concerted effort to spend more quality time with him, to ask him his opinions on every detail of the new house, not only so he would feel included and welcome or because of his artistic eye but because of the boxy grin Tae gave him every time gave him immeasurable happiness.
Jungkook got the lion's share of Hoseok's attention whenever he got home from work, whether it was 5 pm or 5 am. It always involved lots of touching and scent marking, although if Jungkook came home smelling like lavender and oranges, Hoseok spent considerable more focus on getting those smells onto his own body. If he had a hard time getting Jungkook to smile and laugh once he was in the nest, Hoseok would gently coax him into talking so he could comfort the beta. 
On the whole, everyone in the new house was feeling much better than they had a month or even months ago, except for the fact that two integral parts of their lives were missing. It didn't feel the same as it did before they met Yoongi and Jimin. They had been irreversibly changed. And those two hadn't quite seemed to benefit as much from the separation as the rest.
Jimin squealed and giggled as Jungkook lifted him off the ground and spun him around. "Put me down, Kookie!"
"Never," the other beta mumbled into his shoulder. "I missed you too much."
"I saw you two days ago," Jimin reminded him.
"That's two days too long."
Yoongi couldn't help smiling at the betas as they greeted each other. It warmed his heart to see how little changed between them as Jungkook began to scent mark Jimin until he smelled like something fresh out of the dryer.
"I'm glad you're back," Hoseok said as he cupped Yoongi's smiling cheek in his hand. His heart ached when he watched the man's smile diminish.
"Yeah, I missed you guys," Yoongi admitted, but somehow the omega could tell that longing for his pack wasn't the dominant feeling in his heart at that moment.
"Let's eat dinner, and then I'll show you around the rest of the house," Hoseok encouraged and Yoongi nodded, setting down his bag before going to the table.
"You made kimchi-jjigae?" Jimin asked before taking a seat.
"I wanted to do something special, so I made your favorite to welcome you home," hoseok shrugged.
Jimin walked over and put his arms around the omega in a tight hug. "I love you, hyung."
"I love you, too, Jiminie," he smiled into the man's soft hair. Yoongi watched with a smile of his own. Nothing was as nice as watching Jimin get doted on the way he deserved, and he felt a pang of guilt for having kept the man to himself for so long. Yoongi had heaped tons of love and attention on him during their time alone, but Jimin always deserved more. He was sure he'd feel the same way about you if– Yoongi cut off his own thoughts. He wasn't going to go there anymore. He needed to give up for the sake of his pack, and he knew it. It wouldn't be easy, but he had to. He couldn't let himself believe in anything as fickle as fate to bring you to him.
After they'd all eaten until they were stuffed, Hoseok led Yoongi upstairs by the hand. 
"That's the master bedroom," he pointed out as they passed it by. "This is the room we hope will be the nursery," he said walking by the middle room on the second floor. Yoongi gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "And this room is for your little pup."
Yoongi swallowed thickly as he walked into the room. The walls had been painted a serene shade of sea foam green and the mattress was fitted with cream colored bedding.
"I didn't think she was a pink kind of girl. Or at least I wasn't sure, so Taehyung suggested this color might be soothing for her. What do you think?"
 "You guys worked so hard on this." Yoongi ran his fingers down the gauzy cream curtains. "It's great, Hobi, but," Yoongi sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "She's not coming."
Hoseok frowned and settled himself atop Yoongi's lap. The alpha wrapped his arms around his waist naturally to hold him in place as he had so many times. "She hasn't come yet. But that doesn't mean she won't. I know you're feeling hopeless, but you need to have a little faith."
Yoongi looked up at him with weary eyes. "How can you be so positive about it?"
"I might be a tad bit more objective about it than you are," Hoseok smiled as he leaned into him. 
"Every minute feels like an eternity," Yoongi whispered.
"I really think she might be your fated mate," Hoseok giggled.
"Do you actually believe in that stuff?"
The omega shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think I've ever met any, but as you know, I don't get out much. I only know stories. Do you have a better explanation for it?"
Yoongi thought quietly for a moment, opening and closing his mouth as he searched for the right words, but he thought maybe they didn't exist. "All I know is it feels wrong to know that she's out there…in the world…and I'm not there to protect her."
Hoseok gently knocked their heads together. "Sounds like fated mates to me." Yoongi rolled his eyes playfully. "Don't give up yet, Yoon. Jimin and Jungkook found her by chance, but that doesn't mean it wasn't meant to be. When the time comes, you'll be in the right place at the right time, too."
"I hate the feeling that I won't be there before something terrible happens."
Hoseok clicked his tongue at the man. "You're so paranoid. Lighten up. She's coming! And when she does, this room will be her home. Won't that be nice?"
Yoongi smiled, giving into Hobi's relentless optimism. "It will be perfect."
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Eli drove you to a stylish looking apartment building on the other side of town. It was obvious the moment he took you inside the apartment that he hadn't used the time while you were gathering your things to warn his fiance that you were coming. A tall blonde came quickly toward the door wearing an expression you couldn't quite define but leaned towards angry.
"Babe, where were you? I just got home and you weren't here. What's going on?" She asked as her eyes fell on you and even you could feel yourself shrink under her sharp eyes.
Eli leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry, baby. I should have called. But I ran into my sister. You remember, I told you about Y/N." 
"Not really," she admitted with a tight smile as your brother stepped aside and she got a good look at you. "I thought she ran away," she whispered.
"Yeah, ran away, not died," he whispered back. You weren't sure if they knew you could hear them or they didn't care but you felt smaller and smaller by the second. "She lives in the city now, and she needs a place to stay," he said loud enough for you to hear, although she clearly wished he wouldn't.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Eli?" She asked with the same tight smile, and it occurred to you that you didn't know her name. Had you forgotten it, or had he simply not mentioned it to you before at the restaurant?
"We'll be right back, Y/N," Eli nodded.
Whatever room they moved to was not far enough away or sound proof enough to keep their conversation from your ears.
"What the hell? You can't bring random girls to our home, Eli!"
"She's not some random girl. She's my sister. She has a difficult situation right now, am I not supposed to help her?"
"Doesn't that seem a little convenient to you? That your long lost sister suddenly finds you when she's fallen on hard times?"
"What are you even insinuating? I'm the one that ran into her at her work."
"I just think it's fishy. And you never talk about her. I think you've mentioned her twice the whole time we've been together, so what's with the big brother act?"
"I just feel bad, okay? Our parents weren't easy on her. I just want to help her out for once."
A long pause settled between them.
"Please. Just a couple weeks, three tops, until I can find her a place to live."
"Did she ask you for money?"
"No. She didn't even ask if she could stay here. But her other situation wasn't safe."
"Jesus. Are you sure she's even your sister? Hasn't it been like ten years? She still looks like a teenager."
"She's just small. It's her, trust me. Everything will be fine."
"Fine. But three weeks and not a day more, Eli."
You turned toward the door to leave. You didn't want to be an inconvenience, much less cause strife in their relationship. He'd already lied to her about you enough, saying that you ran away instead of telling her how and why you were thrown out of your home. Every moment you spent there would only heap more lies up between them. You didn't know what he was thinking of bringing you here, but he was misguided.
"Y/N," he spoke just as you reached for the door knob. "Everything is fine. Come, I'll show you the guest room."
There was always something that made your skin itch about a 'guest room.' Maybe it was just that you never needed it spelled out for you that you held a place of impermanence no matter where you went. You didn't belong. You wouldn't be staying long. These were things you knew without needing them codified in words. 
"There are fresh sheets in this closet," she told you, making a reappearance with a somewhat more believable smile on her face. "I would have made it up for you if I had some warning."
"That's fine. I can make it myself," you assured her quietly. "I'm sorry, I forgot your name."
She sighed quietly. "I'm Kate. There are extra blankets in there as well in case you get cold."
"Thanks, Kate," you murmured before she turned to leave.
"Get some rest, Y/N. We'll talk in the morning," Eli said before he closed the bedroom door and you were alone.
The following day, Kate seemed to find reasons to be out of the house all day. You did your best to have as little contact with Eli as possible. I'm spite of his recent charity in bringing you here, you had never really been that close. The years between you and the resentment you felt were high barriers. Besides, you'd become too suspicious of kindness in your life to truly trust him. 
During the week, you returned to work, and even though he offered to drive you and pick you up, you insisted on taking the bus across town, if for no other reason than that it extended the time you were out of their home. When you were there, you cooked and cleaned. It was the only way you knew how to do penance for your ever inconvenient existence, the only payment of a perpetually uninvited guest. And when she realized how quiet and clean you were, Kate did thaw toward you, if only slightly. 
The main benefit of staying at their apartment was the opportunity to get quality sleep. It was quiet, and you were spared the frequent interruptions that occured in the shelter, as well as the constant anxiety of being around so many strangers and strong smells. Among the many practices that made the True Life Ministry different from other shelters was that they didn't separate you by secondary gender, only by male and female, so the threat of alphas was ever present. Although behavior was strictly monitored, you never felt entirely safe.
There was one thought that continued to itch in your brain as you laid on the bed and tried to sleep. It was still pretty early in the evening, but you'd had a pretty rotten day. One of the Lykos who frequently passed her days in the library had decided to make you an object of interest today, whiling away the afternoon throwing trash at you every time you came near where she sat in the computer lab while you emptied the bins or cleaned a table. Eventually, one of the librarians asked the alpha to leave, but it had already soured your mood. You cooked and ate dinner silently before turning in early, and even Kate was a little concerned by the way you kept your head hung low and didn't look at either of them even once. 
Now, the only comfort you could think of was sitting in the closet mere feet from your bed.
The blue and white striped blanket is so soft. At least start there.
You know you're not supposed to do that.
Hoseok said it was good for me and it was so nice when he did it.
You aren't Hoseok. You're barely even a fucking omega. You know it never leads to good things for you.
Please. Just a little nest. I need it. Just for a little while. Please.
You sat up in bed and stared at the closet door. There were several very soft blankets in there going unused. Kate did say you could use them.
She said if you got cold. You're not cold. You're fine.
"What's it going to hurt?" You whispered to yourself.
Do you really have to ask? Remember the first time? 
You pulled back the quilt laying on top of you and scooted off the edge of the bed. Creeping to the door, you opened it slowly.
You don't even know how to build a fucking nest. Don't even try.
It's not that hard. Start with the white one.
Eli told you to pretend. What if they find you acting like an animal?
For once you ignored the harsh whispers in your head and followed the smaller voice's instructions. You laid the soft white blanket out as a base, then bunched up two knitted blankets to make a perimeter. You didn't need a very big nest. You were so small. Finally you fluffed the striped throw blanket across the top before climbing into the nest. For once, all your voices quieted as you wiggled your body around, finding the perfect spot for you that made you feel warm and fuzzy and protected. All the world fell away as you nuzzled your face against the fluffy white blanket beneath you. You might have been falling asleep, or maybe just falling within yourself to a quiet, soft place you can only really remember going to when you were in Hoseok's nest last month. You'd never managed to get there with your former pack, where they mocked you for your pathetic attempts at a nest until you gave up altogether. 
Kate, despite her previous coldness toward you, could tell there was something wrong with you. She could tell you were still awake by the soft, albeit strange noises coming from the guest room, and decided to check on you to see if there was anything you needed. When you didn't answer her knocks, she decided to open the door anyway. It was her home after all, right? When she turned on the light, she didn't expect to see you lift your head from a pile of blankets, hair a static mess and pupils blown wide. You whimpered at the bright light.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her tone a mixture of shock and suspicion. "What's going on? Eli?" She called loudly.
You stared at her in confusion until he came to the doorway. "What?"
Kate pointed a finger at you. "What the hell is she doing?"
Eli cursed under her breath as he walked toward you on the bed. He took your face in his hands. "Wake up, Y/N. Snap out of it!" He muttered. 
"Is she…is she one of them?" She asked, pitched raised. You whimpered again.
"Damn it, Y/N," Eli groaned. "I didn't know."
"What do you mean? Are you one of them too?"
"No. No! She's adopted. You know that. My parents thought that's why she ran away, but I didn't know for sure," Eli lied.
"Fuck, Eli. You know how I feel about those...things," Kate cringed.
"Baby, please. I'm sure she's harmless." Eli approached her with open palms, but she only backed out of the room. 
"Get her the fuck out of my house. Right now!" She shouted. 
Eli looked between the two of you anxiously. He stepped closer to you once again and felt his heart clench at the desperately scared look in your wide, vulnerable eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but you have to go."
You whined and pressed yourself closer to the blankets, as if they would protect you. Eli sighed. You weren't difficult to pick up and pluck out of your nest. You'd lost whole pounds since your last heat.
"I'm sorry Yn," he muttered as he carried you down the hallway toward the door.
"Make sure she's out of the building," Kate grumbled as he went by her holding the door open.
Eli nodded and carried you into the elevator before he set you on unsteady feet. "You couldn't fucking hold it together could you?"
Your brain was scrambling to come back online, but you didn't have words yet. Fucking stupid omega brain.
"I swear to God if you ruined this for me," he muttered. You wished you could tell him what I fucking fake he was, but your tongue was glued to the top of your mouth. The elevator reached the lobby and Eli walked you outside. "Sorry, Y/N," he told you once more before he turned to go back inside. "Have a nice life."
The night air was chilly with that feeling it might rain at any second. You thanked yourself for wearing Yoongi's hoodie to bed and turned to walk in an unknown direction.
We fucking told you so. You never fucking listen.
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Yoongi wasn't the only one who spent his nights on duty feeling like the next call was going to be the one he dreaded most. Rainy nights always filled Jungkook with a specific kind of dread. It was the kind of night that led to avoidable accidents, which is what he thought had happened when he and his partner stopped their patrol car behind a parked car in the middle of a narrow one way street. The short whoop of the police cruiser when they came to a stop got the attention of the driver of the car, who turned and quickly began shouting at Jungkook as soon as he opened the passenger side door.
"It wasn't my fault, officer! She pushed him in front of my car! There wasn't anything I could do!" The woman screamed hysterically.
"Calm down, ma'am," Jungkook's partner, Xavier, said cautiously before he leaned into his walkie talkie and requested back up. 
Meanwhile Jungkook walked around the passenger side of his vehicle and sniffed the air. The falling rain made it harder to smell the scents around him, but he managed to pick up a few things. The sour fear coming from the Sap woman, smoky sage, and blood. When he reached the front of the car, he could tell those last two scents came from the alpha lying unconscious in the road, blood flowing from his head to mix with the engine oil and rain water on the sleek blacktop. He knelt down when he got closer and spoke into his own radio to call for an ambulance. And then he smelled it. The apple cider vinegar that telegraphed your fear. 
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No matter what Jin and Hoseok said, Yoongi wouldn't attribute the foreboding and acute anxiety he felt tonight to the possibility of fated mates. He felt nervous every night he sat in the ambulance waiting for the next call, hoping it wouldn't be your body that was injured. Tonight was rainy and dark and that always meant car accidents. Yoongi was just anticipating what anyone in his line of work would do on a night like tonight.  
"Do you think it will be her this time?" His coworker asked with casual cruelty as Yoongi drove to the scene of an accident. 
"Shut up," he muttered in reply.
"Don't be so sensitive. I thought alphas like you would be able to take a joke," the Sap teased.
"It's not a fucking joke." Yoongi barely held back a growl.
"Relax. You're not the first EMT to spend the night driving around looking for someone they love in every scene. We all go through it at some point. It's never them.*
But that was where he was wrong.
Yoongi freely admitted that he'd been a paranoid mess the last month, scanning every face at every site for you. But he had never imagined your smell, so he knew he wasn't imagining it now. It filled his senses the moment he opened the door of the ambulance. He could smell the blood, too, but he honed in on your scent only. He could focus on nothing else.
You were sitting on the curb between the bumpers of two parked cars with your head between your knees, but Yoongi didn't need to see your face to know it was you. Only you could be so small and fragile, even under the shock blanket Jungkook had the good sense to put over you. He wanted to scoop you up and get you out of the rain. The fact that Jungkook was standing protectively in front of you lessened his panic by a fraction.
"Is she hurt?" Yoongi asked, kneeling in front of you. "Y/N, are you okay?" 
You didn't respond, simply continued to rock back and forth with your hands clasped over your head. 
"She's not injured. She's just in shock. She hasn't said much," Jungkook told him.
Yoongi reached forward to touch your chin. "Look at me, princess. Let me see if you're okay."
When you lifted your eyes to his, you looked as terrified as you smelled. "Alpha? Is he dead?" You asked painfully.
"Yoongi, over here!" His partner called from the road. The alpha didn't take his eyes off you. How could he leave you like this? "Yoongi!"
"Go on, hyung. Do your job. I'll take care of her. I won't let her out of my sight. I promise."
Yoongi's eyes remained locked on yours for a moment longer. You had asked him only one thing, and if getting you reassurance was all he could do then that's what he would do. "I'll go check on him. Everything will be okay, princess. Wait here." He tried his best to sound reassuring as he stroked your wet hair and you leaned into his touch before he tore himself away to go help the alpha bleeding out on the asphalt. 
His sage scent faded as life drained from him, but the other EMT was applying pressure to his head wound, so he wasn't gone yet. Yoongi went into autopilot to help his partner stabilize the patient, but he was desperate to know what had happened and how you had been involved. Should he even be saving this man? Who was he to you? 
They managed to get the man onto the stretcher and into the ambulance while he still clung to life without Yoongi having much idea at all of what he was doing. He stayed in the back with the patient while his partner drove, otherwise Yoongi would never be able to make himself leave without you.
"Y/N, I'm taking you to the police station," Jungkook told you after the ambulance had left and another police officer had taken the driver of the car away. 
Without any other acknowledgement, you stood, letting the shock blanket fall from your shoulders as you turned your back on Jungkook and placed your hands behind your back.
Jungkook frowned, "you're not under arrest, Y/N. I'm just taking you to the station to give a statement and wait for someone to come get you."
You turned to look at him confusedly. "No one will come for me."
Jungkook smiled sadly. "Yoongi will come. Let's go."
At the station, Jungkook sat you next to his desk in the bullpen and went to go get you a warm drink. He placed a paper cup of hot tea in your hands, which you took without looking at it or him, but just stared blankly ahead.
"Y/N, can you tell me what happened before the accident?" Jungkook asked, fingers poised over his keyboard.
"Eli threw me out."
"What?"
"Was walking. Was raining but…nowhere to go." You took a sip of the too hot tea to ease the dryness of your throat. "Smelled him first. Hate that smell. So I walked faster, but he's bigger, faster. He caught me. Grabbed my arm."
"Did he hurt your arm?" Jungkook asked. You honestly didn't know. You felt numb all over, just like you had since you'd smelled the burning sage earlier. Setting down the small cup, you pulled up the sleeve of Yoongi's hoodie to reveal the bruises that were blossoming along your forearm. "Shit," Jungkook muttered. "We'll take pictures in a minute. What happened next?" 
"We argued."
"About what?"
"Wanted me to come with him. Didn't want to."
Jungkook studied your face cautiously. "Why did he want you to come with him?" 
You shrugged. "Same as always. Wanted to breed me."
"Is that Eli?" He questioned.
You shook your head. "Eli is my brother."
Jungkook nodded. "But you know that man."
You nodded dumbly. "My alpha."
Jungkook felt his stomach turn over and over. Knowing what little he did about your experience with your past alpha, your barely-there behavior made more sense.
"What happened when you argued?"
You swallowed. "I tried to get away, to get him off. He wouldn't let go, so I–I pushed him and he slipped. He fell into the street and then the car was there."
"Did you see the car before you pushed him?" Maybe Jungkook shouldn't have asked. He wasn't formally interrogating you. Something in him just wanted to know.
You shook your head. "Its lights weren't on. Dark and wet. Couldn't see behind him."
Jungkook swallowed thickly and turned his attention to his screen to finish entering the information you had given him.
"Did I kill him?" You asked blankly, making Jungkook pause to look at you.
"He was still alive when they left the scene. Even if anyone is at fault, we would first look at the driver of the car. You aren't in any trouble right now, Y/N." You nodded in understanding. "For now, it's probably best if you stay quiet."
You were sure time passed, although you didn't feel it. Jungkook went and came back, took photos of the bruises on your arm and brought you a fresh drink. The world continued to turn because it had never stopped for any of your crises, big or small, why would it now? It might have been hours or minutes. You couldn't tell. Everything around you was blocked out until you felt a cold breeze sweep through the station carrying a sharp citrus scent.
Alpha.
Without any thought, you found yourself on your feet. As if acting on their own, they shuffled past the rows of desks. There was a wall and gate separating the back part of the station from the public entry, but you pushed past them until you could see Yoongi. His black hair dripped rainwater onto his cheeks, and he pushed the wet strands back. You couldn't hear what he was asking the officer at the desk, but the words went silent when he turned toward you. Without an invitation you found yourself pressed against his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist.
It took him half a second to respond, encircling you in his own strong arms and holding you to him. "It's alright," he whispered.
You nuzzled your forehead against his chest and murmured back, "Alpha."
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I hope the end of this roller coaster made up for the journey. I promise it's going to get better now. Thank you for sticking it out. Please tell me what you've liked in this chapter or any time up until now, and what you're looking forward to or hoping for going forward. Here's a Yoongi, you've earned it.
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