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#felix angst
l1xvanter · 4 months
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SKZ fic recs !!
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-- most of these are felix, and some of them are jisung and minho :3
-- {❤️‍🩹} = angst {💋} = mature/suggestive {💞} = fluff || pink means personal favorite !!
-- they are organized by member and word count
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⟡ ᶻz﹒l.felix﹒➳﹒
should i stay or should i go? 1.6k by @sachifukyo ❤️‍🩹
take a chance 2.4k by @smuttystraykidsthoughts 💋💞
soulmates 2.8k by @writingpei 💞
23.02 4.1k by @lettersfromaphrodite 💋💞
that hufflepuff boy 5.1k by @kkami-writes 💋💞
kinktober day 5 5.7k by @dreaming-medium 💋
why does it hurt 6.7k by @skz317cb97 ❤️‍🩹💋💞
hey, hey, golden boy! 11k by @staysuki ❤️‍🩹💞
dogfight 12.1k by @bbujiikseu-archived ❤️‍🩹💋💞
matters of the head and heart 13.1k by @skzsauce01 💞
warm light at daybreak 14k by @moonflowerchanniesgirl ❤️‍🩹💞
felix navidad 16.4k by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids ❤️‍🩹💞
forgive me for what i haven’t done 17.5k by @rachalixie ❤️‍🩹
beauty and the beast 18.8k by @comet-falls ❤️‍🩹💞
lee felix’s guide to hating you 21k by @yyxgin ❤️‍🩹💞
seasons 24k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋
aurora 21.8k by @changbunnies ❤️‍🩹💋💞
★﹒﹒l.minho﹔﹪﹒➔
call of the siren 5.7k by @tasteleeknow 💋💞
when we twisted shadows back into stars 15.3k by @skazoo ❤️‍🩹💞
out of my mind 15.6k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞
swordsman 16.5k by @missinghan ❤️‍🩹💞
the enemies to lovers project 18k+by @softukiyos ❤️‍🩹💞
conflict, conceal, confess, 18.1k by @fizzydrink698 💋
in another lifetime 18.9k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞
labyrinth 20k by @soobnny ❤️‍🩹💞
fields 23.5k by @hoes4lino ❤️‍🩹💞
lost in translation 26.5k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋💞
୨୧﹑h.jisung ﹕ ‧₊˚ ⋅
on my mind 8.6k by @staytheword 💋
catfish…? 9.2k by @seungminheart 💋
sakura 12.4k by @j-0ne25 💋💞
series !! (all felix x reader) ༻*ੈ✩
happy pills by @seospicybin 18.7k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞
[a cute series for a quick read <3]
twin flame series by @seospicybin 31.2k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞
[caused emotional trauma tbh, i was crying at 2am]
fairy flowers by @hyunsvngs 36.8k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞
[this one is insanely fluffy and cute i liked almost died from how sweet it was]
too hot to handle series by @seospicybin 38.5k words total; finished 💋💞
[this series also has versions for leeknow, chan, han, and changbin]
off the deep end by @stayxlix 82.3k words; ongoing ❤️‍🩹💋
[words cannot begin to explain how good this series is, if you have some time and sanity to spare, please read this !!!]
bodyguard au by @skzdarlings 110k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞
[INSANELY GOOD. please read this, it also has a oneshot that goes with it. went through hell and back while reading this i was so invested.]
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sl6gszn · 5 months
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📁 what your snaps would look like if you were dating felix
genre. social media au , fluff taglist. @kayleigh-28 (lmk if you want to be added!) other vers. chan, felix, seungmin, jeongin, minho, hyunjin, changbin, han
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sl6gszn
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astraystayyh · 8 months
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If the world was ending
Felix x reader. Estranged childhood best friends to lovers. Angst and happy ending. highly recommend listening to If the world was ending while reading :)
Felix has always been there with you, from the moment you've met him when you were 8 years old, until he suddenly no longer was, and you were left to grapple with the consequences of his absence- and those of his return.
cw: description of a car accident, reader has a fear of loud noises.
skz song series masterlist
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12 march 2011 
Screeching brakes, a jarring collision, glass shattering all around you, shards of it embedding into your tender skin. You are too young to understand it all, but you know it's bad. You are suddenly upside down, the only thing helping you stay put is the seatbelt fastened around you. You didn't really like seatbelts but your mom always insisted on you wearing one.
Your mom, you can't see her face, she's upside down too, and she isn't talking. That's unusual because you're crying and she isn't turning around to comfort you. Someone is screaming outside of your car, and then you are pulled out. You don't know who's touching you, and you want them to stop. Where is your mom? Why did they not pull her out too?
An ambulance approaches you; its loud sirens feel like pine needles drilling into your skull. You try to cover your ears but your hands are covered in blood. The world around you is painted red- the flashing lights of the sirens and the liquid oozing from your cuts. It’s no longer your favorite color.
27 may 2011 
You are playing in the playground near your home, waving at your mom from the top of the slide. She's gotten better, she smiles more easily at you now. And you are trying to be a good kid too; you help wash the dishes and you clean your room all by yourself. You don't want your mom to feel sad again and go back to that dreaded hospital. 
You slide out, happy giggles leaving your mouth, before climbing up the tiny stairs once again. But as you reach the top, an ambulance rushes by the playground. You don't know what's happening, but you suddenly feel shards of glass on your skin once again. Your hands are shaking as you sit on the floor, curling around yourself in a ball.  
"What's wrong?" someone asks and you lift your head tentatively. It's a young boy, he's looking at you worriedly, a tiny pout on his lips. 
"I don't like ambulances," you hiccup, burying your head in your knees again. 
Suddenly, small hands cover your ears, muffling the shrill sound of sirens. They are warm and sticky from the red popsicle he’s still holding.
"Now you can't hear them," he giggles, his eyes disappearing into moon crescents. Despite your raging fear, a smile finds its way into your lips.
"What's those on your face," you ask with a small voice, pointing at the faint marks dusting his cheeks. 
"They're called freckles," he says proudly and you nod. 
"They're pretty."
"Thank you!" he grins at you, his hands still covering your ears. The tightness in your chest seems to dissipate slowly before his kind smile- the shadows never stood a chance in front of the sun. 
"What's your name?" 
"Felix. And you?"
"Yn." 
"We should be friends," he beams and you grin back, agreeing wholeheartedly. "We should." 
15 november 2021 
You are sitting on the grass of that very same playground, Felix still by your side. The night breeze is cooling as it brushes against your bodies, and you're wearing his red sweater. It smells like his cologne and your perfume- an intoxicating scent you've come to memorize by heart. 
His nose tip is rosy from the cold, and you can't resist tapping it playfully. "Your nose is pink," you giggle, and he smiles, gently bopping yours in return. 
"So is yours."
You look at him as he gazes up at the stars above. You love Felix, it has always been crystal clear to you. From the moment he planted the seed of his friendship into your soul, and throughout the years when it bloomed into something more, bigger than the two of you. It wrapped around your being entirely, binding itself into your every atom, until all you saw is his reflection in you. 
And you were tired of treading the line between friendship and something more. You wanted, no craved being with him, your yearning so intense it spilled from you each time he was around. In rosy cheeks and shaky fingers and eyes that soften only when they rest on him- evidence of your love imprinted all upon you. 
You take in a deep breath, before laying your hand gently on his cheek, turning his face to meet yours. His eyes widen slightly at the soft touch, and you lean in closer to him. You brush your nose against his, slowly, "to warm it up," you whisper, as his breath hitches in his throat. 
He's close, he's so close, you can almost taste the brownies you shared earlier on his lips. You can see his freckles ever so clearly, constellations you often find yourself getting lost in. Your hand is still on his cheek, and you can feel it burning up under your palm. 
You close your eyes, as his lips are now just a breath away from yours. It's electrifying- having him so near to the way you've always dreamed, fantasized about. But he needs to be the one to take the jump, all he has to do is lean in a bit, and you'd kiss him. You won't ever let go. 
"Lixie...," you choke out, "kiss me." 
"I want to." His voice is hoarse with emotion, as if fighting with himself for self-restraint. 
"So do it," you ask, swiping your thumb gently across his cheek. Your breaths mingle with one another in a dizzying dance. 
"I'm leaving," he says so faintly, you believe for a second that you've imagined it. 
"What?" you ask, leaning a bit away to be able to look at him. 
"I'm leaving," he repeats, his eyes tightly shut. "We're moving to another country, for my dad's job." 
"You're leaving me?" you ask, bewildered. 
"I'm not leaving you-"
"But you are. You won't be here anymore." You drop your hand, taking hurried steps away from him. Touching him didn't feel electrifying anymore, it felt horrible and nauseous, because you won't get to do it again. 
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-" 
"How long have you known?" 
"Yn..."
"Felix," you say, tone stern. "How long?" 
"Six months," he whispers and a bitter chuckle escapes your lips.
"When are you leaving?"
"In a week." 
The pain becomes unbearable, and you turn your back to him so he wouldn't see your rapidly falling tears. You are angry, as a disguise for the sadness threatening to drown you. Him leaving tasted like the salty water you gulp when you dive in too quickly into the ocean. And you did dive in, in him, in his soul and everything that made up Felix. And now he was leaving you, with no anchor to help you float again.
"Is that why you insisted on spending so much time with me lately? Because you were leaving?" 
"You need to understand I didn't know how to tell you, I- I don't even know who I am without you." He pleads, his own eyes shimmering with unshed tears, reminding you of tiny diamonds. That's how it is with Felix, you found beauty in everything he did- even tearing your heart in half. 
"Maybe you should've thought of how I would feel. You were thinking of leaving me while I..." Your voice breaks and you take a shaky breath.  "While I was falling in love with you." 
"I'm in love with you too," he quickly says, reaching out to hold your hand. "I love you, I always have." He's wrapping his arms around you, and you're letting him because it feels safe and secure. Because he’s still your Felix, even if he's leaving you behind. 
You wonder what you must have done in a past life, what a horrible person you could've been for the universe to treat you this cruelly. To hand you everything you've ever wanted in a silver platter, and snatch it from your hands before you could dare to grab it. 
"We'll make it work," he mumbles into your hair, placing a tender kiss on your temple. "We'll talk and we can be together."
"No, we can't. I'll just hold you back from living your new life, I can't have that." 
"Don't talk like that, please," his voice wavers, words barely managing to slip out of his mouth. Regret overtakes your body so suddenly at the thought of his lips- you shouldn't have tried to kiss him. Maybe then he wouldn't have told you he was leaving. 
"It's the truth. we'll grow to hate each other, distance will put a strain on us. I'd rather not talk to you than have you resent me." 
"But-"
"Just hold me," you cut him off. "As if nothing's happening, please." 
And he complies because Felix always does. Because he loves you and as much as he doesn't want to, he knows you're right. 
•••••
It's been three months since Felix left- the days passed by agonizingly slowly, and yet the months went by in a blur, a hauntingly vivid reminder of what once was. At first, the texts between you two were frequent, but as time wore on, the messages grew sporadic, from your end, mostly. Seeing him flourish in his new life felt like salt on an open wound, a reminder that he was moving on while you were still anchored in memories of him. 
You saw him in every corner of your city. The smell of brownies that he's made countless times, each time you felt sad. The way he kissed your cheek each time he won a game, while you were lying on his bed, bored. The way he hugged you whenever you were sick, gently tucking strands of your hair behind your ear. The way he covered your ears instinctively at each loud noise, knowing how scared it made you still. 
And you've felt each of these emotions since he was gone. You were sad and bored and sick and happy and scared. And he wasn't here with you through them. Each moment away from Felix seemed to magnify what could have been- what should have been between the two of you.
There is a building construction next to you, loud cement blocks crashing to the ground. And you are curled around yourself in a protective ball, covering your ears with your hands, because Felix isn't here to do it anymore for you. 
You and Felix have grown with one another, your soul carefully woven into his, like two threads intricately stitched into the same tapestry. Him leaving felt like half of your body was cut off from you, and you were left alone to figure out how to function with an incomplete heart. 
17 july 2023 
Summer break meant coming back home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom once again. Memories of Felix still lingered in there- posters he has given you and his red sweater that you've never found the courage to throw away. It doesn't hurt as much to remember him, the sharp pain morphed into a dull ache you've grown accustomed to by now. 
You're watching the TV mindlessly when someone knocks on your door, and you go to open it without a second thought, expecting it to be your parents. It wasn't.
"Felix?" you stammer, stumbling back in shock. You blink repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to make sure he's not a figment of your twisted imagination. You haven't uttered his name in so long, and the syllables felt both foreign and familiar in your mouth. 
"It's me," he smiles sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck. 
"You are here," you whisper, stating the obvious. He didn't change much, his kind brown eyes and freckles still as captivating as before. But his features were sharper, prettier, and the sight of him is making you dizzy once again. 
"I am." 
"What are you doing here?" You ask cautiously, opening the door a bit wider to let him in. 
"I requested a transfer to your university. I wanted to come back. I missed home, and I missed you," he adds softly, making a turmoil of emotions surge within you. 
You clear your throat. "So, you are back for good?" 
"I am," he says, smiling slightly at you as if to gauge your reaction. You stay silent and his grin falters; his tongue resting against the inside of his cheek, a habit he hasn't let go of apparently. He then walks to the kitchen and you follow suit. You don't have to show him around, he knows your home like the back of his hand. He spent most of his childhood here after all, even though his house was only a few blocks away. 
"How have you been?" he asks as he opens the cupboard to take out a glass. He closes its door softly, careful not to make it thud. 
"I'm good. It's summer break so I'm finally back home, what about you?"
"I'm good too. It's nice to be back." 
Your conversation is strained and awkward, so unnatural of you both. There was so much to say, so much to ask about, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He felt like uncharted territory to you now, one you didn't have the strength to discover once again.
"It's your mom's birthday tomorrow, right?" he smiles and you nod. 
"Should we make her our cookies? Like we used to before I..." 
"Before you left," you finish, bitterness dripping from your tone.
Hurt flashes in his eyes and you feel your heart suddenly clench in your chest. It was unfair for you to treat him this way. He was only seventeen and if your parents were to move away you would've followed them too. 
"Okay, let's do it." You smile sincerely for the first time since he came back to you. 
You both move seamlessly in the kitchen, each knowing your tasks like a choreographed dance. This was a tradition that started when you were twelve years old. You'd brown the butter while he beat the egg and sugar together. He'd sift the flour while you cut up chocolate. He'd mix it all while you preheat the oven. And then you'd roll the dough together. 
Your hands brush against one another as you shape up the cookies, and it feels so intense you almost drop to the floor. You miss him, you miss him so much and he's near you and you can't seem to think straight anymore. 
When the cookies are finally in the oven, he silently washes the dishes while you dry them. He abruptly pauses, hands still covered in soap before turning back to you. 
"Can we talk? Please?" he says too quickly as if he's been overthinking asking this question. 
"I'm busy today," you scramble to think of an excuse, you weren't ready to face him yet. 
"Tomorrow?"
"I'm staying with my mom, then there is Han’s party."
"I'll be there too. We can talk then, please?" he asks, eagerness evident in his voice. 
"Fine. Let's talk there," you concede and he nods, awkwardly shifting in his place. He finishes the dishes before drying his hands. You avoid his gaze and he sighs softly. "I'll get going. Tell your mom happy birthday from me." 
"Will do." You smile tightly and he does the same, before finally leaving your home, and in his trail, a maelstrom of emotions you weren't certain how to deal with.
18 july 2023 
You're at the reunion party Han is hosting with all your high school friends. You watch as Felix takes turns talking to everybody. He fits right in here, a puzzle perfectly clicking in place as if he's never left. He's telling a joke to Chan who laughs loudly, hitting Minho's arm repeatedly. Everyone is happy he's back, because they never had to gravel with the consequences of his absence. Because he's never ripped their heart out. 
Felix is looking for you around the room- he hasn't seen you in a while. He assumes you're somewhere around the house, and that you'd like to talk when time has passed. The knot in his stomach tightens as the weight of your conversation dawns on him, he longs to be with you, to undo the past two years he has spent away from you. But he's afraid to mess everything up, once again, so he stays near his friends who are now pulling him outside of the house.
"We have a surprise for you," Han says excitedly before pointing at the sky, "look." 
Fireworks, a dazzling show of blue, red and yellow. And Felix feels as if the colors were drained out of his face and splattered into the night sky before him.
"Where is yn?" he turns to Chan, eyes wide.
"Inside, I think. Why?"
"Stop- stop this, don't start any more fireworks," he urges the boy who's looking at him worriedly. 
"Why, what's wrong? We have a warrant to start them, don't worry."
"No, no you don't understand. Yn hates loud noises," he explains frantically, before bolting inside the house. 
He's yelling your name, and you are nowhere to be found, the sound of the fireworks so loud he isn't even sure you can hear him. 
He opens door after door, and after painstakingly long seconds he finally finds you in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, your head buried in your knees. Just like you were twelve years ago. 
Felix doesn't waste any time, kneeling in front of you to cover your ears with his hands, you look up at him, waterline brimming with unshed tears. 
"It's okay, I'm here. Just focus on my voice," he smiles reassuringly at you, and you clasp your hands on top of his, doing your best to muffle the sound of the explosions. 
"Your hands are still small," you attempt to joke, as hot tears trail down your cheeks. You hated how scared you still were. 
"The perfect size to cover your ears," he smiles at you, his eyes softening when they take in your distressed state. 
You hiccup, overcome by a new wave of emotion- for an entirely different reason this time. "You came." 
"I'll always come. Even if the world was ending, I'll... I'll come to you," he smiles, biting his lower lip to stop his own tears from falling. 
"It'd be useless if you came then. There would be nothing for us to do," you manage to say through shaky breaths. 
"But I'd be with you," he insists, gaze unwavering, "It will be scary for you. I imagine it will be loud, the world can't end silently." 
"Mine did, when you left." Felix's eyes go wide at your words, and you don't care that you are baring your soul entirely to him. "Please don't leave me again. I hate goodbyes with you." 
"Why would we ever say goodbye again, hm?" he reassures, his knuckles brushing against your cheek softly. "I'm never leaving you, as long as you'll have me, I'm here," he whispers, before pulling you into his chest.
Your hands find his back, and his cheek rests on top of your head. And you both close your eyes, an exhale of relief leaving you both at the same time. The world grows dark around the two of you, the only thing you saw was his heart and the overflowing love he still bore for you.
You felt as if you were wandering blind and you could finally see again, as if the string tying you to him wrapped tightly around the both of you, trapping you in his warm embrace.
You don't know what will happen next, but he's holding you now, and he'll hold you when the world is ending, and that is enough.
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hyunsvngs · 8 months
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𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 - modern royalty au!lee felix x female reader
wc: 10.6k words
rating: 18+. MDNI
cw: felix and mc being dumbasses, no use of y/n, sickeningly sweet petnames, ANGST, fluff!!, smut warnings under the cut
synopsis: your childhood best friend, the prince lee felix, is due to be betrothed in an arranged marriage organised by his mother. the problem is, you’re her top choice - and you’re also secretly madly in love with him.
a/n: our first fic on the blog!! if anyone has any questions or any thoughts to share with me please feel free. this fic is my baby and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
sw: dryhumping, use of petnames in bed, no actual sex!!, soft cutie felix except nsfw!!!!
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You'd loved Lee Felix since the day you met him.
Of course, your brain had always convinced you that he was unattainable. You weren't without status, so to speak - your mother was famously known as the Queen's lady-in-waiting, and it was through her job that you'd had the pleasure of meeting the two princes, Felix and his elder brother Chris. You and Felix had clicked instantly. You had no other siblings yourself, and your father had died in the army when you were a baby, leaving your mother widowed and you without one of your intended parental figures.
Felix had taken that all in his stride, though. The day he met you he stumbled up to you with the grace of Bambi's first movement on ice, all short chubby limbs flailing everywhere and eyes formed in crescent moons with the size of his smile. Chris had taken less interest in you. Although polite, he was three years older than the both of you and already had his own group of friends, but you and Felix hadn't even started formal education yet - and you were inseparable as soon as you met. You were enchanted by him, he had been your first crush, and your first love once you were old enough to understand what that was.
You began your life as a shy, timid little girl, just as clumsy as your best friend. Your knobbly knees were always bruised and scarred, peeking out from the tops of your white knee socks and covered in whatever bandages Felix could find to wrap around you. Felix had brought you out of your shell, introduced you to some of his other 'friends' - at the start, they were just kids with similar status to him, but they really did form a tight knit group eventually. Now, you were known to always be by the side of Felix and his group, getting up to whatever secret debauchery you could manage that wouldn't risk any of your positions in society. Your mother, thankfully, had turned a blind eye to most of it, and the Queen was always too occupied to notice.
When you were younger, you and Felix loved to go out gallivanting. You'd stumble to the nearest beach, bags of towels and books in your canvas bags and giggle as you threw them on the sand. You had some form of an unofficial book club, just the two of you. You saw him practically all day everyday, but you'd both discussed and had decided to designate a Saturday afternoon to discuss whatever books you'd found in the extensive palace library and you both avoided any and all kinds of book talk on any other day in the week. The beach had become your place to gush over whatever literature had caught your attention, with the calming waves of the sea crashing behind you and the tweeting of whatever birds had made an appearance that day.
Now, though, you were both of age. You were both twenty one, and that meant that marriage was around the corner for Felix. He'd been so busy lately, you'd barely had the chance to see him. You took upon completing mundane tasks of your own, helping your mother with anything the Queen asked for (much to her polite gratitude, but she definitely knew why you were sulking around), and sometimes you even helped the cooks make food for the whole palace. Felix had teased you relentlessly once he'd seen you in your white frilly apron and you'd had to chase him out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon.
It was weird not having your best friend around so much. Chris was already married, being the heir to the throne, despite the fact there were rumours he would abdicate to Felix. Felix hadn't told you anything about that, and you were sure he would have. Even Chris leaving had left a hole in your heart - no more seeing his muscly eye-candy group of friends around. Well, they still showed up uninvited sometimes. You were pretty sure Changbin and Jisung were never actually invited, not even by Chris, but they lingered around him like they were his little brothers, too.
"Hey, you've been making that daisy chain for like, twenty years," A familiar giggle chimed from above you, and you looked up. Ah yes, your Prince. You'd gotten so lost in memories that you'd been wasting a Saturday afternoon with him. Fuck, you're such an idiot. Felix was looking down at you in your position in his lap, your head nestled on top of his crossed legs in the dress slacks he was supposed to wear everyday. He was wearing a white silk shirt on top of it, billowing in the summer breeze, but the top two buttons were still undone due to the heat of the sun. The summer always made your Prince's freckles shine more on his tan skin, the fawn dots even extending to the exposed skin on his chest. Needless to say, you waited impatiently for the hot season to come around every year. His teeth were gleaming in his smile, radiating sunshine and the gleam bouncing off of the bleach blonde mullet he'd managed to convince his mother to let him have.
You had to deflect. He couldn't know you were upset at not seeing him, although you were nearly certain he must have worked it out already. You shrugged dismissively, looking back at the daisy chain in your hands. Your thumbnails were stained with green from the plant stems, but you were still determined to finish it. You were making it for him, as a crown, because you knew he'd keep it until the flowers wilted, and then he'd get the flowers pressed and he'd put them in his scrapbook. He was such a good friend. His scrapbook was full of mementos of the two of you, even sometimes extending to the whole group - you and Felix, your friends, and Chris and his friends. It was mostly full of just the two of you, though.
"Sorry, Lixie. I guess I'm not all there today. Sorry," You mumbled. "What were you saying?"
"I was saying about Rochester and how he's a possessive asshole- no, you know what, that's not important. What's on your mind, sugarplum?" The cheesy nickname worked exactly how he intended it to, making you giggle and your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You nudged his tummy softly with your elbow, the silk brushing against your skin and making goosebumps rise on your arms. Felix dog-eared the page of the book that he was reading from and shut it softly, placing it beside you both. It was one habit of Felix's that you absolutely hated - like, how could he sleep with a clear conscience knowing that he had creased the delicate pages of so many classics? You'd given him so many bookmarks over the years, even personalised ones that you'd crafted in your spare time with both of your names on, but he always lost them or claimed he'd forgotten them in your book club outings. He leaned back on his palms, smiling down at you fondly. You shifted, turning slightly to see him better. You felt the soft cotton of the navy and white plaid picnic blanket brush against the bottom of your bare legs. You weren't really allowed to wear short skirts, or low cut tops, but on a summer's day like this you were permitted to wear a knee length skirt, so long as it was a thick fabric. Nothing too revealing was allowed.
You hummed in response to him, finding him still staring at you. "You want me to be honest, Pixie?"
Felix giggled at his own cheesy nickname, then nodded eagerly, strands of hair falling over his face before he pushed them back. His forehead had a thin sheen of sweat adorning it. "I always want you to be honest with me."
You ignored the butterflies causing a storm in your stomach over the statement. He was so understanding, so sweet - he always had been, like when he would bandage up your scraped knees or comfort you when something went wrong in your favourite TV show. He was even understanding during one of your many nights of debauchery, when you'd all been playing Seven Minutes in Heaven like the horny teenagers you were and you'd been picked to go in with Felix. You'd been bright red, stuttering and giggling nervously about how you'd never had your first kiss and Felix understood, rubbing your arm softly with his dainty hand and insisting you didn't have to do anything that you weren't ready for. You were so embarrassed, but he made you feel so at ease, and you'd both sat in the storage closet and gossiped about Chris instead.
That was the moment you'd fallen in love with him, you think. You were fifteen.
"I'm worried," You admitted, finally letting the flower chain drop from your fingertips and onto your tummy. Felix instantly shot up. His smile had fallen, and he was now looking at you with a concerned look, brushing hair back from your face and tucking it behind your ear. The butterflies started fluttering even faster, if it was possible. You looked up into his brown eyes, and you looked at his freckles, thinking about the many times you'd tried to count every single one. This was your best friend. This was the love of your life. Your Prince, as you affectionately called him in your head. You could be honest with him. If you couldn't, who could you be truthful with? "I'm worried because I know you're getting married soon. We barely see each other as it is anymore, and I miss you, to be honest. It will be soon, won't it?"
Felix hummed. He nodded thoughtfully, eyes drifting to the daisy chain on your tummy. You saw a small smile at the end of his lips as his fingers brushed over it. He knew it was for him. He'd made you many over the years, too, and you'd kept them in your own scrapbook, despite it being much emptier than his. "It will be soon. My mother is picking the right candidate at the moment. But..."
You furrowed your eyebrows. He hadn't looked back at you, still gazing at the daisy chain and beginning to rub reassuring circles on your side. "... But?"
The smile finally formed on his lips. "You do realise you're her top option, right?"
You shot up from his lap, eyes widening. Felix bit his lip, holding in a laugh. He was laughing at you, that bastard, but it did make sense. You were the Queen's favourite, and she knew how close you and Felix were. She wasn't a nasty or a ruthless Queen. She was a people person, she always donated money to charity and the homeless rating in your country was literally almost zero. She'd done so much for people since she was in power, and she never cared about status - not that it had ever affected you, but she did treat everyone as her equals. She was like Felix in that way, a sweetheart, and she always permitted you and Felix to go on journeys wherever you wanted, so long as you kept safe and there was a guard in the area, just in case. There was one in the meadow with you now, but you couldn't even see them from where you were sitting. She was just... so cool, down to earth. She understood what it was like to be young, within reason.
You were flustered. Your brain had instantly gone to thinking of getting married to Felix, spending nights with him but not in the way you used to, and even... Well, you had to consummate the marriage, didn't you? You were extremely inexperienced in that department, save for a few drunken childish kisses with Chris' friend Changbin when you were just a bit younger, but you still found your mind racing and going through your deepest, darkest fantasies. Fantasies that you would never entertain outside of shoving a hand down your underwear in your bed at night and whining into the satin pillows. You had to hide that you were thinking about that, what the fuck is wrong with you? Time to deflect.
"Well, she does love me," You said boldly. Felix shook his head, punching you in the arm, perhaps a bit harder than he meant to because you let out a hiss and punched him back too hard, in the leg. His smile dropped, groaning and grabbing the spot on his shin where you'd hit him. "But, would you be okay with that, Lixie? It's... me. We'd be like... you know."
"Married? Well, yeah," Felix laughed, still holding his leg. You sighed, giving him a flat look. You needed to keep yourself occupied, so you picked up the daisy chain on the blanket and started to fiddle with it again, threading it through with nimble fingers. Felix finally let go of his leg, throwing himself onto his side so he was lying down on the blanket and facing you. He'd started to fiddle with the cover of the book. Another thing you were getting prepared to tell him off about. "I know what you mean. Honestly, though? I can't think of anyone better to do it with," You felt yourself suppressing a smile at his words, said lowly in that deep voice of his. Everytime he said something like that, your brain instantly went to shit, he liked me back, and you couldn't have that showing on your face when you knew deep down that wasn't the truth. He was unattainable- no, wait, now he wasn't that unattainable, now that you've actually stopped being angsty and depressing and actually thought about it. "I mean, you are my best friend, sugarplum."
You let out a fake laugh at his use of that stupid nickname again, and it seemed to placate him. Best friend. Yeah. Because one thing you hadn't thought about during your insane train of thought, one thing you had always considered and had been the main factor in not confessing to him, was that you couldn't risk ruining the friendship you had built up with him for sixteen years.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Unattainable. He was unattainable. You felt yourself mulling over that thought over and over as you paced in your bedchambers, in your silly Disney pyjamas that now barely fit you and you would never let anyone see. You had no one you could even talk to about this. It was clearly royal intel, secret information, and the only person you could have possibly talked to now never comes around anymore because Chris decided to get fucking married and now spends most of his time boning his wife for an heir. Or just because he likes boning her, you weren't sure, but Felix told you that he'd heard enough through the walls to know that boning was definitely occuring every night. Anyway, Changbin wasn't around much anymore, and he was your top confidant - bar Felix.
You liked living in the palace, but would you like living there as a Princess? Well, fuck yeah, obviously. It was like something out of The Princess Diaries, one of your favourite films which you and Felix had watched over and over. He hated it. You had a good, solid reputation. You were a high member of society due to your mother's job, and you and your mother were even placed on the royal side of the palace for your living quarters. You had a massive bedroom, an extravagant en suite with a relaxing bathtub and a sitting room with a huge TV that you and your mother always curled up in front of. How could it even get any better? You had seen Felix's room, when you were younger, but it kind of became unspokenly forbidden when you got to your teenage years, lest something gets out of hand. You understood it, actually. You'd been going through enough hormones to know that you had definitely come dangerously close to propositioning him a few times.
You had propositioned Changbin, obviously. You two had your first kisses together, and also a few drunken kisses, but you'd ended up as just friends. He was probably the only one who knew about your feelings for Felix, and he admitted you weren't his type anyway. You were sure he was in love with Felix's friend, Hyunjin, but you never commented on the way he looked at Hyunjin like he'd hung the stars in the sky. You couldn't really say anything either, knowing full well that you looked at Felix the same.
You needed to speak to Changbin. The unbearable amount of anxiety at not knowing was mounting in you. But it hit you, then, in the middle of your pacing and chewing on your thumbnail. You looked at the copy of Jane Eyre that Felix had given you, placed on your bed. Your mother knew. She had to have known you were a choice, surely, and she hadn't even told you?
You shook your head, resuming pacing. You couldn't blame her. Felix wasn't even meant to tell you. It made sense, though - you'd received pretty much the same education as a royal, and you and Felix were inseparable. You knew you had the etiquette, the social skills (thanks to Felix). You were pretty much a Princess without being a Princess. It had to be you, right?
Did you want it to be you?
You threw yourself onto your bed, wrapping the soft pillow around your head and screaming incoherently into the fabric. It didn't help. Who were the other choices? You thought of other girls who lingered around the palace, ones that had definitely had crushes on your Prince growing up and had given him fleeting glances with blushed cheeks and an agape mouth. None of their names even came to mind. Maybe a Princess from another country, for a marriage of creating alliances? You could see the Queen considering that. She was always very logical, but you also knew she had her son's best interests in mind. Chris had married a Princess from a different Kingdom, actually, but his marriage wasn't even arranged. He'd been in love with her since they were teenagers, and they could only meet once or twice a year in arranged legal meetings. You remember them having perhaps not so quiet dates together. Everyone knew, and when they announced their engagement everyone was happy but not surprised. Felix had taken too long to find a wife, and even the thoughtful Queen couldn't let that slide. People were asking questions, personal questions about his demeanour and whether he was off putting, and she couldn't deflect the questions for much longer.
You hadn't even noticed you'd drifted off, and you woke up to your face still smushed in the pillow. You immediately inhaled sharply upon waking up, taking in the light outside. You'd drooled all over your pillow, leaving a huge wet patch and your hair was knotted every which way, making you look like you'd been dragged backwards down the hedge. Damn. Thinking too hard has taken its toll on you, really.
A knock on the door made you spring up from your bed, smoothing down your hair with one hand, before another three knocks came in succession and you paused your movements. It was yours and your mother's secret knock - one knock, then three quick ones after. She'd seen you in worse states. Much worse states, even hungover states that you'd cried over while she held a bucket to your head and had promised to keep it a secret. You padded over to the door, opening it slightly just to make sure it was in fact, her. It was, obviously. Not even Felix knew your secret knock.
She came in and sat on the big armchair in front of the fire. Neither of you had said anything. You stood awkwardly, wringing your hands. She finally looked at you, a kind look on her face.
"I have two things to say," She smiled. You loosened up a bit, realising that it was just your mother. She'd always been stuck by you. It had been only the two of you, after all. It was all you knew. You nodded, rushing over to sit cross legged in front of her like a child. "First of all, the Queen would like to meet with you in an hour. Second of all, you're seriously still wearing those Dumbo pyjamas? The legs aren't even long enough anymore, I can see your knees, they're meant to be trousers not shorts-"
You blinked owlishly. Her rant went in through one ear and out the other, before she realised you weren't listening. She sighed. You blinked again, pulling the ends of your pyjama trousers absentmindedly to try and make them longer. "The Queen... wants to meet with me?"
Your mother nodded. She wasn't giving anything away by her face, but she definitely knew. She knew. She knew what you were going to be told. God, why couldn't she just ignore her job duties for once and be a fucking mother? You chided yourself mentally, she was a great mother. But you were frustrated. You needed to know now, not in an hour!
"Just... just me, and her?" You questioned, cocking your head to the side. Your mother shook her head, fingernails picking at a loose thread on her skirt. She was avoiding eye contact. What the fuck is going on?
Oh God, it's not you, is it? Fuck.
"Felix will be there," Your mother stated. She jumped up sharply. "I'll help you pick an outfit, dear. Come." She beckoned you to the armoire in the corner and you followed dutifully.
Your mother began to flick through pieces of fabric hanging off of hangers, and you tried to ignore the anxiety now mounting again in the pit of your stomach.
You so badly wanted it to be you. Just for once, you wanted to be selfish.
An hour later, on the dot, you stood outside the main hall. It was where everyone - royalty and staff alike - ate food together. That was, again, one of the kind Queen's rules. It was also where her throne was, where she had meetings with people. You'd never been on the receiving end of such a formal meeting, but one of the Queen's maids had come and collected you from your room five minutes before the allocated time. You'd managed to run a brush through your hair, thank God, and your mother had put you in a baby blue pinafore dress that came down to mid-knee on top of a white long sleeved turtleneck. The turtleneck was far too warm for the weather, but you knew the Queen would appreciate the conservative outfit. You stared down at the Mary Jane's on your feet.
You shut your eyes, trying to control your breathing, before realising you really couldn't afford to be late. Maybe you'd fucked up and done something wrong. You raised your hand, knocking softly on the door, but it swung open with the small force of your knock. The Queen sat on her throne, flipping through the pages of a book. Your Prince stood behind her, leaning over the throne, pointing at certain pages and giggling. She was smiling fondly at the pages, rubbing her fingertips over certain ones and mumbling statements to her son. She'd began to age slightly, with wrinkles adorning her eyes and mouth, but she didn't look any less beautiful. She had long, dark hair and freckles, just like Felix, but her smile was as kind as Chris'.
Oh? They seemed happy, at least.
You cleared your throat. The Queen, her Majesty, looked up at you and smiled acknowledgingly, shutting the book on her lap. She beckoned for you to come in and you did a small curtsy before shuffling into the lavish room. You could smell the kitchen from here, and you knew the cooks were whipping up something fierce by the enticing smell of it. You hadn't had time to have breakfast, because you'd slept in, and lunch was still around two hours away. You hoped your stomach wouldn't grumble too loud as you eventually approached the throne.
Felix smiled at you. He was wearing a similar pair of dress slacks to yesterday, but this time his silk shirt was a baby blue, the Kingdom's colours. A silver chain rested on his neck and you took note of the earrings dangling from his ears - another impulse decision you'd both done when you were younger. You know Felix had gotten in trouble for it at first, but the Queen seemed to be buying him a lot of expensive earrings lately. She knew what it was like to be young, after all. You smiled back awkwardly, rubbing your sweaty hands on your pinafore. It was then you realised you were in the Kingdom's colours too. Very patriotic of your mother.
"You want some tea, sugarplum?" Felix's voice drew you out of your thoughts, and you winced at the nickname. In front of his mother? In front of the Queen? Seriously? Your eyes seemed to convey a similar message to him, a flat glare, but he simply giggled. You saw him pouring from a teapot into a dainty teacup, and reverted your eyes to the Queen. She was still looking down at the book in her lap, and you looked down at it in confusion.
It was the scrapbook Felix made for the two of you. It was full of pictures from when you were younger to now, full of cinema tickets from secret outings and full of pressed flowers. Some of your favourite book quotes had even made it into there, scrawled in both of your handwritings. Even your school graduation pictures were in there. You'd been sent to a private school for the upper society, obviously, but you still had a normal graduation - albeit small, and full of snobby people.
"Thank you for meeting me, your Majesty," You were babbling in awkwardness. Oh, God. It was like word vomit, you couldn't stop it. "I'm really glad to meet with you today. I'm just wondering, have I done something wrong? You never ask to meet me."
The Queen laughed, her eyes forming crescent moons exactly the same as Felix's. Felix appeared at your side then, handing you a small teapot with what looked like peach tea in it. Your favourite, because of course, your Prince remembers that. You awkwardly shifted on one foot to the other, taking small sips of the tea to try and cool your nerves and almost screaming because it was still scalding hot. Felix was trying to hold in a laugh beside you, you could tell without even looking at him. Bastard.
"You haven't done anything wrong, sweetheart," The Queen's voice was soft, and she was now looking at you, taking in your outfit. She nodded approvingly. "You look lovely, very sophisticated. I believe I've made the right choice."
Your cheeks burned red. No. Fucking. Way. "T-The right choice? Do you mean...?"
The Queen beckoned over one of her staff members and they scurried over in a similar manner to the way your mother would have done. They placed a box in her hands, a small black velvet box that looked like it could be opened seamlessly. A... ring box? "I apologise, sweetheart. I've kept you in the dark a little bit with all of this. Would you bring her a chair, dear? A comfortable one."
The staff member scuttled over to grab a small chair with a red pillow on top of it and placed it behind you. You looked to your left side, still in shock, and the staff member simply smiled and motioned to the chair. You muttered a thanks in acknowledgement and sat on the pillow. Damn, the chair was comfortable. Felix was still standing, watching you hold your teacup awkwardly in a sweaty hand. He looked like he was about to die of laughter. God, you hated him so much, but you also really didn't. He just loved to tease you.
Maybe he would in bed, too-
"So, as you probably know, our favourite boy hasn't found someone to court yet," The Queen began speaking once you were sat down. Felix groaned, and his mother simply laughed. "Hush, now, sweetheart."
"Mum, you said you wouldn't be mean-"
Their dynamics always amazed you. She took the piss out of him, to put it quite literally, but in such an eloquent manner it could be easily missed as them having a difficult relationship. They didn't. He was a mummy's boy, through and through. It was one of the things you loved about him. You could tell a lot about a man from the way he treated his mother.
"Felix, hush now," She admonished again, but the smile on her face didn't leave. Felix mumbled something and then went back over to the side to fiddle with the teapots. Good, he should feel awkward. You looked at her outfit, beautiful in an ornate sense, pearl clips pinning her long, dark hair up so you could see the freckles on her face that matched your Prince. "I took it upon myself to find Felix a bride. I hope you don't think I'm cruel for doing so, I do have my baby's best interests in mind."
Felix groaned, putting his face in his hands. "'M not a baby-"
"You always will be to me, sweetheart. But it was time to get you courting, to get you married. I couldn't do that when you're always gallivanting discussing books with this one now, could I?" Your cheeks burned. You started to stutter out an apology, but she held up a hand to stop you. "Nonsense, sweetheart. Your friendship is one I've always admired. You're inseparable, and it is lovely to see you both so happy. You know that I value your mother highly, also."
You nodded, grinning. You felt a bit more at ease at the praise. The tea had also cooled down slightly too, so you started to sip it again, ignoring the way Felix was intently watching you with an evil smile to see if you'd burn your tongue again.
"Then, I thought about it. I thought, well, I do value your mother extremely highly, and you've been very helpful as of late. Obviously, that is because this one isn't taking up all of your time again," She nodded her head towards Felix. It was such an informal motion that you laughed in shock, and she giggled, a chiming similar to Felix's laugh that shouldn't have come from a middle aged woman who was literally the top of society. You still weren't completely getting at what she was saying, but you were enjoying the conversation. It was just praise, praise, praise. Amazing. "So, I want to offer you something. I want you to know you can decline, and you and your mother will remain here in your current roles. It would make me very happy, however, if you agreed to marry Felix."
You blinked. Okay, yeah, you kind of knew that's what she was getting at, but still - coming out of her mouth you thought you were going to have a heart attack. Your eyes flitted to Felix, who was simply nodding at you in encouragement, eyes widened. He... what, had he convinced her with that scrapbook? He wanted to marry you? Ugh, he probably just wanted to marry you so he didn't have to marry someone he didn't know. He doesn't even know you like him like that. But... a little part of you wanted to be selfish. You scratch his back by not letting him marry someone he's not close with, and he scratches yours by at least pretending to be in love with you. Could you deal with that, though? The pretending?
You nodded in acknowledgement at what the Queen said, looking at your tea again. The tea leaves were floating around in the liquid, mocking you, as if saying you were so fucking dumb. Of course you were going to say yes. "Um... may I ask, your Majesty, what would happen if I said no?"
You refused to look at Felix. The Queen hummed, looking down at the box in her lap. Oh, that was a ring box, definitely. Funny, in a weird way. "Well, this way, if you got married, you'd be able to spend a lot of time together. You'd see each other a lot. You'd be happy. If you decline... I'd have to find someone else for him to-"
"I'll do it," You grimaced at cutting the Queen off, but you couldn't even bear to think of him with someone else. Instead of chiding you, she beamed from ear to ear, and Felix rushed over to you.
He leaned down, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in for a hug. He felt so soft, all silk and soft skin, but you knew what was underneath that shirt. You'd seen it, and now you were definitely going to see everything else. He smelled of lavender and orange blossom, that expensive perfume he's always spraying on himself, but you could smell notes of the flowers in the meadow that were still left on his skin from yesterday.
Okay, yeah, you could get used to this.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You didn't get a proper engagement, but that was alright. You'd been given the ring pretty much straight away after your meeting, and when you'd got back to your room after lunch your mother was still there, but now she was gushing, almost bouncing off the walls.
The ring was beautiful. Even using that adjective felt like an understatement. It was clearly an heirloom, passed through generations. The gem in the middle was blue tourmaline, and whilst it matched the Kingdom's colour it was extremely rare - or so you thought, you weren't sure - and it was surrounded by a cluster of diamonds and placed on a thin gold band. You'd always dreamed of getting engaged, even letting yourself think about getting engaged to Felix sometimes, when you were feeling particularly selfish. You always thought it would happen on the meadow, or on your guys' beach that you'd had less time to go to these days because it was further out. You didn't think you wanted it to be pretty lavish, just you two, so you weren't that angry about just being given the ring and told to prepare for an outing with Felix later on. He was your safe place, and you did want to talk privately about the engagement, so you weren't too angry.
You thought about it a lot, looking down at the gem glinting in the light. Your mother had left, and you were now just sitting at your vanity staring at your own hand. The public knew who you were. They knew you were Prince Felix's best friend, and more than a few people had deemed you two as soulmates, people from a similar status who were bound to fall in love and get married. Now, it just felt very one sided. You knew you were in love with Felix, and you'd agreed to the marriage with little thought, but now you felt a bit anxious. How were you going to pretend not to love him when you had to sleep next to him every night? Or when you had to go on dates with him? The engagement would be formally announced tomorrow, with the outing tonight being specifically for you to wear the ring in the public's eye and for you two to dial up the romance and get people speculating. The engagement party was planned to take place tomorrow night after the announcement, with everyone important there.
It was a beautiful ring. You just weren't sure you could pretend any more. You were sick of pretending to just view him as a friend.
When the night rolled by, you'd dressed in something a bit cosier - not too warm, because the nights weren't getting cold much anymore. You'd switched your pinafore and long sleeve for a thin knitted jumper and some long linen trousers, throwing a long but light jacket on top. You had to look sophisticated, respectful even. You deemed you looked alright after tucking the jumper into the trousers and adorning a belt, and when you swung the door open to your room, Felix was stood there.
He'd also put on a thin jumper in lieu of his thin billowing silk shirts, but he still looked just as good in the blue cable knit staring you in the eyes. He'd even put on a long coat just like yours. It was like you were matching, but you hadn't intended to. You looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and you swore you'd never seen him look happier, not even when you'd moan in delight eating his homemade brownies or when you'd go sick after eating too many of said brownies because they were too good. His hair was neatly styled, pulled back in a stylish half up-half down ponytail, with a few strands dangling in his face.
"Hey, sugarplum," He spoke, voice low. You groaned, pushing him out of the doorway and leaving the room, shutting the door behind you. He laughed in delight at your annoyance and linked arms with you. It was then you noticed he had a flower in his hand - just one stem, but the meaning was enough to almost make you cry.
"Oh my God, Felix, is that-"
"Baby's breath," He unlinked his arm with you, passing the stem to you. When you two were younger, you'd been entranced by the baby's breath growing in your meadow and you'd both been determined it was the work of fairies. It was too beautiful to be normal, and you and Felix had collected them endlessly until there was basically none left. You called them fairy flowers, and that's sort of where Felix's nickname had come from - your mother had called him Pixie affectionately when he'd revealed that he really thought these flowers were part of a fairy's little garden. He pretended to hate it, but you know he secretly loved it when you called him that. Chris had told you.
"You remembered. We used to call them fairy flowers," You brushed your hand over the flower, grinning at the softness. Felix chuckled, whispering a 'yeah'. He quickly pinched the flower from you again, tucking it behind your ear. You quite literally swooned, smiling up at his own beaming face. It got a bit awkward for you then though, because you couldn't even pretend not to be in love with him now, before you're even married. You found yourself in a state of word vomit again. "Jeez, dial down the PDA, Romeo. We're not even outside yet."
You walked off, leaving Felix trailing after you laughing at your words. "'Jeez'? What are you, a frat boy? You need to stop reading fanfictions, you know," He slung his arm around your waist, leading you out of the palace grounds. You rolled your eyes, ignoring him, but you leaned in closer to his touch. Tonight was meant to just be a late night walk, full of holding hands and perhaps acting like normal people getting some street food from a dodgy merchant that would give you a bad tummy for a few days. Once you'd left the ornate gates, with one of the guards waving you both goodbye, you started to walk down the street and into the busier part of town. The palace wasn't too far from the hustle and bustle of the city, because again, the Queen apparently loved to be normal. People came to the palace all the time and took pictures and whatnot, but they were never allowed into the actual building. That was too far, and a danger to security.
You both began to walk, feeling the much cooler breeze blow through your hair and rattle the petals upon your ear. It was a bit ticklish, but he'd put it there, so it was staying there. His arm stayed around your waist, but it was comforting. You'd done stuff like this a million times. You were both extremely affectionate and loved touch anyway, so it wasn't strange. Of course, it felt different. You were engaged to him now. You could like... kiss, and stuff. You felt like a high school girl kicking her legs and twirling her hair over her crush, but you decided you were going to allow it because you were still young, and still yet to have a lot of your firsts with someone.
Once you got to a street where there were a few people milling around, Felix motioned to a wooden bench on the side of the path. Overgrown moss and bushes wrapped around it, but it still looked quite cute. "Wanna sit down here for a bit? I think we should probably have a chat, you know. About everything," When you looked at him, he looked embarrassed for once, strange given his usual brazen nature. You found yourself wanting to comfort him, so you nodded, sitting down on the bench and smoothing your trousers down. He sat next to you, turning to face you on the bench and fiddling with the cuffs of his coat.
"Felix, are you okay about marrying me?" You blurted out. "I mean, I know you probably don't want to marry anyone else, but you won't even get the chance to try to get to know everyone. You're stuck with me."
Felix furrowed his eyebrows. His head snapped up to you. "Um, what the fuck? You're my best friend. I am absolutely okay with getting married to you."
Your chest heaved. You felt reassured, but still not completely relieved. "But... Lixie. We'll have to kiss. And we'll be sharing a bed. You know we have to consummate the marriage, right?"
There was that smirk on his face again. You regretted ever saying anything. "You've been thinking about having sex with me?"
You groaned, putting your head in your hands. You heard Felix chuckling next to you, his shoulders shaking the whole rickety bench. You finally looked up at him, punching him in the leg again. His laughter ceased as he yelped. Good, bastard. "You know what I mean, Lix. We are literally going to have to, or the marriage won't be like, real. Or something, I don't know."
"You do know, you know everything. You're smarter than me," Felix chided you. He sighed, leaning to put his head on your shoulder. "What are you actually worried about? Tell me."
"It's just..." You couldn't say it. But maybe you could, and phrase it differently. A conditional question, to answer the real question inside of you. "What if we fell in love?"
Felix hummed, shutting his eyes softly. "Then everyone would have been right about us."
"Y-You... you wouldn't mind it? What about our friendship?"
He rubbed his cheek against you comfortingly. "It would only be made better, sugarplum," He pulled back, grinning at you. Oh no. That smile meant a Dumb Felix comment was incoming. "Plus, I know you think I'm smoking hot, so-"
"Felix!" You whined. He stuck his tongue out at you cheekily, making you roll your eyes. You turned away from him, staring ahead at a large tree on the other side of the path.
"I mean, we are compatible. Would it be so bad?" He sounded insecure now. You looked at him. His eyes were gleaming from the moonlight, and he did look really nervous. Perhaps... he wants to know if you'd hate him if either of you caught feelings. He wants to know if you think it would ruin your friendship. Honestly? After that conversation, you didn't. You shook your head, smiling softly at him. He stuck his tongue out again, trying to lighten the mood, and you did it back. You both had a fit of giggles afterwards, hitting each other while laughing like you always do.
Then, you saw it. A distinctive flash of a camera behind Felix, towards the end of the path. Oh, yeah, you're meant to be like, loving it up right now. You grabbed Felix's arm, pulling him in.
"Wh- wha-"
You brought his ear to your mouth, looking down at it and whispering. "There's a reporter taking pictures behind you. Don't look, but we should probably be more affectionate."
Felix pulled away, nodding solemnly. You could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he spoke, then a lightbulb going off. "Kiss me."
"H- Huh?!"
"Or, I'll kiss you, I don't mind. But that would really prove a point, wouldn't it? So caught up in each other that we forget royal etiquette?" He'd leaned back more comfortably on the bench, slinging an arm behind you. His fingertips were dancing up your shoulder as you were turned to face him, faces only inches apart. You licked your lips. He licked his own. The flash appeared again. Oh, the reporter liked that.
"Felix... I don't know-"
"I know it's not your first kiss, sugarplum. Can't back out of kissing me now," You internally groaned at the mention of him knowing what you and Changbin had done. Fuck Changbin, stupid blabbermouth. Felix was smirking, looking at you.
"Fuck it. As long as it won't be awkward?"
"We're gonna have to kiss a lot more, may as well kiss now," He shrugged. You shrugged. He was right. Eventually, you nodded. His fingertips carried on tracing shapes on your shoulder - you managed to make out a flower, a heart, maybe even a cat's head. Or a dog's head, you weren't sure. His other hand went up to your chin, fingertips coming to lift your head up to be closer to him once again. His eyes went to yours, a silent question in those deep brown eyes, and you nodded in response.
With that, you were being kissed by your first love. Your one sided love, to be precise, but you actually couldn't find it in you to care. You didn't even realise the camera flashing repeatedly as you pressed your lips against his, a chaste but open mouthed kiss. His lips were extremely soft, and you fluttered your eyes shut and leaned in to get more. He obliged, hand now going to the back of your head to bring you in further. You whimpered at the dominance the grab showed, and he let out a sharp breath of air through his freckled nose in response. You wanted more, so much more. Your lips pressed against each other over and over, a little messy but you liked it like that. Just as you tried to get your tongue against his, he gently pulled away, with one more small peck to your nose.
You were embarrassed when you realised you'd tried to follow him for more kisses. You quickly avoided eye contact, and Felix elbowed you.
"Look at me!" He whined for attention. Ah yeah, same old Felix. You'd forgotten what he was like in that ten second kiss. He still had issues with wanting to be the centre of attention. You looked at him awkwardly, fists clenched in your sweaty palms. You almost felt bad the beautiful ring had to live there. Once you'd looked at him, his sad face fell and he smirked. "Good, huh?"
"W-Was I... good? I've only ever kissed Changbin," You admitted, grimacing. Felix sat up sharply, putting a hand on your knee. You almost flinched away to try and sedate your own sexual desires, but he would get suspicious.
"Uhhh, yes! It was good, I really enjoyed that. Thank you for doing that for me," Felix comforted. When you nodded in response, he grabbed your chin again and placed another peck on your lips. "I... honestly? I kind of wouldn't mind kissing you again."
The boy's boldness shocked you everyday, and you'd known him for sixteen years. "For... for practice, right? When we're married, we're gonna have to do it loads, so-"
"Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. For practice," Felix agreed. He was nodding eagerly. He suddenly shifted, looking down at the watch on his wrist. "Aw, shit. We should probably head back. Wanna watch a film in your room when we get back?"
You grinned. Back to the same old. This was better, though now you knew you'd be thinking about being on your back with him on top of you making out while you were watching a film. Quickly, you realised something. "That will look so sus though, now that we're engaged."
"We'll keep it a secret," He wiggled, elbowing you. You found yourself laughing, jumping up to walk back to the palace. You held your outstretched hand to him.
"Your majesty?"
"Ah, yes, my fine maiden," Felix giggled, sliding off the bench to grab your hand. You both started to walk to the edge of the path, skipping along as if you had no cares in the world. You heard rustling, probably the sounds of the reporter leaving.
You hoped you'd done okay. You hoped you'd made it believable. Well, you probably had, given your actual feelings - but had Felix?
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You'd woken up the next day with a piece of popcorn stuck to your forehead and another person snoring next to you. You blinked yourself awake drearily, leaning up on your palms and looking around your room. Your TV had turned onto standby, and you looked to your right. Felix was in your room. Felix was in your bed. You'd- oh, no. You'd totally just fallen asleep watching a movie, nevermind. Totally fine.
No, actually. Totally not fine!
You shrieked, grabbing Felix's slender waist and wiggling him awake. He'd borrowed a pair of your more comfortable clothes and the t-shirt had been just a bit too small, riding up with every move and now exposing nearly his whole tummy. You tried to ignore it, continuing to shake him awake. The piece of popcorn stuck to your forehead fell onto the bed with an unceremonious noise and you groaned. Eventually, after what felt like hours of shaking your best friend, he opened his eyes and gave you a wide smile, pulling you in for a cuddle. You ignored how lovely it felt and tried to get him to regain consciousness and morality.
"Felix."
"Hmm?"
"You are in my bed."
"I know, dummy- Oh." Felix shot up, nearly sending you flying off the bed. His hand landed on the piece of popcorn, crumbling it into your pristine white sheets. You tried not to cry. His eyes widened, staring at you. "What's the- have you checked your phone? What's the time?"
You shook your head, reaching over to grab your phone. You seldom went on your phone, preferring to read and spend time with Felix, but you had it in case of emergencies and also sometimes for TikTok, but you'd never admit that. You blinked. 11am.
You'd missed breakfast, but you also had zero missed calls or texts on your phone. No one had woken you? Weird. You flipped the screen to show Felix, and he leaned in closer. You were brandishing your wallpaper of the two of you on the beach last summer, but you didn't care. He grabbed your phone, entered your passcode and clicked on the phone app.
"No one even tried to wake us?" He asked. You shook your head. He laid back down, seeming weirdly reassured. You didn't question it, slinking up next to him and putting your head on his shoulder. He moved his arm accordingly, pulling you into his chest and still clicking random buttons on your phone. Eventually, he landed on the search tab, and typed in 'news'. Oh, shit. Was it announced?
Yep. In blaring headlines, multiple news media sources were now releasing reports with every single detail of the story, including pictures of the two of you last night. The titles were all similar, going along the lines of "the sweet Prince and beloved best friend confirmed to be engaged!" or "sophisticated best friend and the lovely Prince taking a romantic late night stroll!". You scoffed, clicking on one and scrolling down. The pictures were cute, to be honest. Some even showed the two of you laughing and hitting each other last night, or you two walking home hand in hand and skipping as if you were kids. One picture, however, is what stuck with you. It was the two of you mid-kiss, Felix's hand on the back of your head and his other holding your shoulder, keeping you in place. It was fucking hot.
"Damn, we look good, you know?" Felix mused, zooming in on the picture. You hummed. You did, you couldn't deny that. "My mum was so real for thinking of us getting married. Like, we totally look good together. Imagine our kids."
Imagine what we'll do to make kids, you thought, but you bit your tongue. You giggled, slapping Felix's chest playfully, then a thought came into your stupid lizard brain. "Hey, Lix?"
"Yeah?" He was still scrolling through an article, laughing at some of the sentences. Everyone loved the two of you, but a few were jealous that you'd managed to snag him. Good.
"Did you mean what you said last night? About practice?" Felix's thumb stopped on the screen. His eyes darted to you, his hair still mussed from sleep. He just stared at you, and you lost your nerve. "Sorry. Weird thing to say. I was just wondering-"
"No, not weird. I meant it. You wanna make out? For practice?" Felix locked your phone, chucking it to the end of the bed. You didn't have time to scold him for throwing your things around like that before his hand was carding in your hair, fingertips scratching at your scalp. God, you loved it when he did that. Your eyes shut in bliss. You totally forgot what he asked. "Hey, earth to sugarplum."
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure. For practice."
Okay, so you were totally being super selfish. But, you were going to be having sex with him soon. You could do a little making out to prepare, right? You were just a woman, after all. Nothing wrong with that. His fingers gripped your hair with a different intensity then, pulling at the strands slightly, and you choked back a whine. You opened your eyes, looking up at him.
He hummed, looking at you. He tilted his head to the side, thinking. "Maybe... yeah," He grabbed your arm, pulling you over him. He positioned you exactly how he wanted you, on top of him, straddling his hips. His dainty hands went to your waist, rubbing circles. "Yeah, like this. For practice."
"For practice," You agreed solemnly. You were beginning to think that maybe it wasn't for practice. Maybe he just wanted to. He scooted up, leaning up against the pillows so he was sat up and you were sat on top of him. You tried to ignore the fact that you could feel what was going on between his legs through your thin sleep shorts. You couldn't get too wound up during this, just in case it was just for practice. Knotting your hands into the fabric of his - your - white t-shirt, you leaned down, brushing your nose with his. You were being selfish, but bold, but mostly selfish.
Felix's eyes flitted down to your lips, leaning up to place a soft kiss there. You smiled softly, and he returned yours with a smile that could only be described as filled with fondness. You bit your lip, noticing the way his eyes honed in on your teeth and perhaps his grip tightened on your hips just a bit, but he'd always deny it.
"Lixie." You muttered. You were too shy. He knew exactly what you meant, and raised one hand up to grab at the back of your head. He brought your lips to his, attaching his mouth to yours in a way that was completely different from yesterday. Yesterday was for show, but this seemed personal, hungry almost. You decided you were going to take what you could get. You pressed your lips to his harder, making him choke out a noise of surprise. It was messy, again, open mouthed kisses that were nothing akin to precise or experienced, but you could get to know each other, get to know what you liked. Right at that moment, all you knew was that you liked him, and you would be so pissed off if he didn't let you get your tongue in his mouth like he did last night.
Your hands went up to his face, cradling his cheeks in your palms and slipping your tongue into his mouth. Your tongues brushed against each other, and you whined, hips kicking up just slightly before you managed to stop yourself. He grabbed your hips, flipping you over so he was on top of you, not breaking the kiss. His lips kept brushing against yours as his tongue entered your mouth, groaning at the feeling. You couldn't stop breathing heavily through your nose, your hands roaming up his back and landing on his hair, pulling him down to kiss you harder. Your lips felt bruised, swollen, but you never wanted to stop kissing him.
With that thought, he bit your lip, pulling away and letting it release against your teeth. You squirmed, licking your lips excessively to try and stop them feeling so swollen. Felix looked debauched, his hair even more tangled and his lips just as red and swollen as yours. His eyes were dark, staring down at you.
"Baby. Bestie. I'm sorry, but I'm- I'm sorry..." He whispered, his head going to the crook of your neck to place soothing kisses there. He was breathing heavily, shifting ever so slightly on top of you. You felt it then, what he was apologising for. His length was rock hard, the shaft pressing into your core and giving you just the slightest bit of stimulation. "'M so fucking hard, sugarplum, I'm sorry."
"I-It's okay, Lixie. I think I'm... I'm wet, too," You whispered, and he threw his head back, groaning. "Practice makes perfect, y'know. We can keep making out." Felix nodded eagerly, and he grabbed your thighs, linking them around his hips. He ducked to place a few more kisses on your neck, biting a little at the area where your throat met your jaw. You let out a moan, neck bearing to the opposite side to give him full access and he clearly approved, biting harder.
"Baby, c-can I just," He ground his hips into yours, groaning and stuttering his words out. He immediately stopped, looking down at you. "Can I? I can make us both feel good, no sex. We can just grind a little on eachother. I won't put it in, I promise-"
With that, a knock on the door interrupted you both. You were fully prepared to start swinging at whoever was on the other end. Felix looked like he was about to die, cheeks flushed and hair tangled every which way. You both stared at each other in disbelief. Okay, so you had kind of really lost yourself there, and now somebody is at the door while the nation's favourite Prince is currently on top of you grinding into you with full intent to cum. You'd only just announced your engagement. You could've got pregnant before you even got married. Jesus, what is wrong with you? You sighed, moving to sit up, and Felix moved off of you. He ran a hand through his knotted hair.
"I should... fuck, Felix, what do we do?" You knew you both looked the image of lust, lips kiss bitten and swollen and hair everywhere. You could even feel the wet patch in your sleep shorts. Shit, okay.
Felix looked to be holding back a laugh. You felt terrified, but you almost laughed too, in pure disbelief. You both covered your mouths before you shot off the bed, slipping your shorts off your legs and replacing them with a pair of longer trousers from your drawer. You honestly couldn't care less if he'd seen you in your underwear, you'd bathed together when you were younger. You motioned to the en suite dramatically and Felix ran in there instantly, still giggling quietly, locking the door behind him. You shook your head fondly as another knock was firmly punched against the door. Jesus, couldn't even give you a second?
"Coming!" You called, walking over to the door and trying your best to fake yawn loudly so they thought you'd just woken up. When you opened the door, Chris stood there, a happy smile on his face.
"Okay, I'm so coming in! Why didn't you tell me you and Felix are serious now?" He pushed you back into the room, throwing himself onto your bed dramatically. It was quite funny, seeing him lying on the bed you'd just accosted his brother on. He was resting against the messy sheets in a perfect suit and tie. You shook your head, letting out a laugh.
"Okay, we're not. It's an arranged thing, Chris. We're still only best friends," You chose your words wisely, fiddling with the drawstring on your trousers. Chris hummed, giving you a strange look. Changbin. Fucking Changbin, he'd definitely said something. God. "And, why didn't you ask your own brother this? I'm simply an accessory."
"Because my own brother is currently locked inside your bathroom pretending he's not there?" Chris replied instantly. Your eyes widened.
"No, he's not. Why would you even think-"
"Okay, well. I know he is, so," Chris shrugged. You sighed.
"Felix, you can come out," You said. The lock slowly clicked open and Felix emerged, looking sheepish. Thank God the shock of Chris arriving had made his boner go down, so now he didn't look too lustful. He'd also clearly ran your brush through his hair before coming out. You couldn't say the same for yourself.
Felix threw himself down on the bed next to you and Chris, groaning and stretching his limbs. "Did anyone ask where we were?"
Chris chuckled. He fiddled with the wedding band on his left hand. "Yep. I made up an excuse, said you'd gone out for a walk again and were getting food out. I had a feeling you'd both be spending the night together. Princess Diaries again?"
You shook your head. "Nope. It's too real now."
"Mind you, I don't think there was this much 'practising' going on between Mia and her potential husband in the second one," Chris looked up from his hand. You averted your eyes.
"Dunno what you mean-"
"How much did you hear, what the fuck?!" Felix shrieked. Oh, great, thanks.
"I mean, the walls are thin, dude. I heard a lot on my way down the corridor. But, I'm glad you two are having fun with it, at least. Arranged marriages can be shit sometimes," Chris stretched similarly to Felix, before reaching down and clapping Felix on his back harshly. Felix groaned, throwing himself around the bed in protest. "Anyway, I should be off now. Congratulations again, guys. You should probably get ready for the party tonight though."
Chris began to walk out of the room, and Felix stood up.
"I should... go. With him. You know?" You nodded in response to his statement. He waited until Chris had rounded the corner, and leaned down, pressing a swift peck to your lips. You squeaked in surprise, cheeks burning crimson. He giggled, giving you a sweet wave and running off. "See you later, bestie!"
You wondered if you’d ever be permitted to drop the bestie, maybe once you’re married to him, but it couldn’t come soon enough. You wanted to let yourself be selfish just this once.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
2K notes · View notes
in2heartz · 8 months
Note
im doing good!! okok so could you write smth about skz and reader having a fight (u can make up scenarios for it!) and reader goes to their shared room to calm down maybe but they suddenly cry (maybe silently ?) bcs they're overwhelmed and keeps on holding their chest whispering it hurts :( ofc skz notices so how do u think their reaction will be like?
im so sorry that was very detailed huh 😭 pls dont write it if u dont want to! sending lots of love 💕
yes i can :))
wc - 6559 // ot8 hurt to comfort
warnings - skz being kind of meanies :( but then comfort !! a bit of ghosting, fighting/yelling, reader + member being stressed and overwhelmed, cuddling/physical affection, lots of crying, a little suggestive at the end of minhos but barely it’s just a kiss lol, petty arguments, some swearing, petnames (baby, princess, babe, angel, sweetheart, my love), reader is on their period in felix’s, i think that’s it !!
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
chan 
it was pretty evident that chan wasn’t the best texter. he wasn’t very consistent and always responded to things too quickly or awkwardly. he never really understood the point of texting and just saw it as an unnecessary chore. aside from this mindset, he wasn’t too bad when it came to texting you. he usually liked to check up on you when he thought of it. little texts like “how’s my baby doing today?” or “hm bet you look so pretty right now. can’t wait to come home to you later.” just cute little things that let you know he was thinking of you. since this became a habit of his, it was usually a bit worrying if he went a day or two without doing it. you were used to his schedule being crammed up or his long hours spent working, but he’d always send at least one text. 
you texted him throughout the weekend to make sure he was okay, but there was never a response. you were worried, but you still knew he could take care of himself and if something was wrong he’d figure it out. 
this is what you told yourself to keep from spiraling. but, you were only human and that meant you still worried. 
after two days of silence from him, he finally showed up very late in the night. he was exhausted, but still happy to finally be home. 
he lightly opened your bedroom door, finding you hiding under the covers. 
“baby? you up?” 
you whipped off the blankets and shot up, looking at him with relief, but then anger. 
“chris! where have you been?! why haven’t you spoken to me?” you yelled. 
he was taken aback by your loud voice and angry face, too tired to argue. 
“yn, i can explain in the morning. can we just sleep now and talk later?” he suggested. 
“talk later? are you serious? you had me worried sick! i almost called your parents! why do you do shit like this?” you yelled even louder this time. 
“why do you still not understand that my work life isn’t as easy as yours? it’s not as simple as being able to come home whenever i want, okay? i don’t know how many times i have to explain it!” he shouted. you flinched at how scary he could get sometimes. 
“get out.” you said, turning over in the bed and waiting for him to leave. 
the second he left, the tears started. you were so worried and overwhelmed that you felt the tears were coming from relief rather than stress. you were so happy to see him, but still so upset. you softly cried, holding your hand to your heart to try to ground yourself, but it didn’t help. 
chan was smart. he knew better than to just storm off like he wanted to, so he sat outside of the bedroom door in the hallway and waited a bit to cool off. he ran his fingers through his hair and continuously sighed as he thought about how worried you must’ve been. he hated disappointing you but hated scaring you even more. he was caught in his world for a while until he heard your sons pick up. 
“channie…” you cried out and he came running to your feet quicker than he realized he could do. 
he cooed at you, “oh, my baby. i’m so sorry. i know i scared you so much and i should never yell at you like that. my poor baby, i’m so sorry.”
you cried into his shoulder, squeezing your arms around his abdomen. 
“it hurts…” you wailed. 
“i know, baby. i’m sorry. just let it out and you’ll feel better. take some deep breaths, okay? i’m sorry i’m making you feel like this.” he admitted, mentally slapping himself in the face. 
he rubbed up and down your back, as you let all your tears out. you started gasping from how hard you were crying, making him freak out. 
“hey, hey, hey, you need to relax baby. let’s do deep breaths, yea? can you breathe in and out for me?” 
you nodded as he coached you through the proper breathing exercises you needed to calm down. he looked at you so fondly, like you’d break in his hands if he touched you a little too roughly or breathed too harshly. 
“that’s it, princess,” he kissed your forehead, “i’m here with you. forever. will never do that to you ever again. i promise.” 
minho 
it was finally changbin’s 24th surprise birthday party that was planned by all the boys (and yourself because without you they probably would have spoiled it already). 
you and minho both dressed up in your best outfits and made sure everyone was there on time. changbin was beyond surprised and happy by the party set up for him, it made you and minho feel quite accomplished. the one thing that was difficult though, was the amount of people that needed to be invited. it seemed like the whole industry was there because they nearly all were. 
you and the boys even went out of your way to find and invite some of changbin’s old friends from before their debut. one of them was a girl named nari who changbin grew up with. you had a bad feeling about her from the start. you couldn’t explain it and minho kind of thought you were crazy for just “assuming” that this girl was bad news. 
you were right though because the second you separated from minho, she pounced on him. 
god, how annoying was she laughing on your boyfriend's shoulder like that? throwing her stupid head back and flipping her hair. she looked at him with this creepy sparkle in her eye and a huge smile plastered on her face. you felt like you could be sick to your stomach just watching them interact. you stormed off into your bedroom, grateful that you hosted the party at minho’s apartment or else you would’ve been screwed. 
the second you sat on the bed, your chest began to heat up. your vision was blurry and your head was pounding. you clutched your dress feeling like you couldn’t breathe as you began to cry. it hurt physically and emotionally seeing some girl on your boyfriend like that. who even was she? who did she think she was at that? 
around thirty minutes went by before minho started asking everyone where you were. he ditched the girl who was making him uncomfortable in hopes to find you to make him feel better. he felt so awkward having to stand there all alone with that rando, but he didn’t want to upset her and ruin changbin’s night, so he dealt with it until it became unbearable. 
as a last resort, he decided to check his room and was beside himself when he saw you sobbing, nearly making yourself get sick from how hard you were crying. 
“woah, woah, hey? what’s wrong, yn? i’m here, talk to me. what’s going on?” he asked, trying to pry your hands from your face. 
“get off me, lee minho.” 
he winced at the use of his full name and tried to think of what could have made you this upset.
he pulled back, 
“you’re worrying me, yn. what’s going on?” he asked, now sternly. 
“go talk to that stupid bitch instead. i’m sure she’s a lot less to worry about.” you cried, turning away from him and hiding your face under his pillow. 
“is that seriously what you’re upset about? you don’t even know who she is or what happened?” he responded. 
“exactly, minho! now get out and leave me alone!” you shouted. he flinched and drew back, leaving the room to give you some space. 
his mind was spinning thinking about what you’d say to him next. were you going to leave him? did you hate him now? 
he decided it would be best to talk to chan about it. he always knew what to say and what advice was best. he told minho to let you cool down a bit but to check on you soon because it’s better to settle the problem before it gets worse. he waited another twenty minutes before coming back into his room. he quietly walked over to you. 
“yn? can we talk now, please?” he whispered, his muscles tense as he waited for you to reply. 
you groaned, 
“about what.” 
“about why you’re upset…” he said. 
“i’m upset because you were practically flirting with some random bitch and just left me to watch.” 
he sighed, rubbing his eyes and coming down on the bed to sit next to you. 
“do you think i’d ever do that to you, yn? let alone in front of all the people that mean the most to me?” 
you blinked and stayed silent, “…no” 
“exactly. i wish you would have just asked me first so i could explain the situation.” he spoke. 
“but you still hurt me either way… i didn’t like how she looked at you…” 
“you should’ve seen the way i looked at her, babe. she knew i wasn’t into it. and i told her you were my girlfriend. i even showed her the pictures i have of us hanging up in the living room. i’d never hurt you like that, yn. hm? don’t you know that?” he whispered. 
“of course, i know that, but that doesn’t make it any less scary…” you replied. 
“i know that, baby. let me make it up to you? show you that you’re the only one i see? the only one i want.” he whispered, sliding his arm up your leg and pressing soft kisses to your neck. 
“no way you’re trying to have makeup sex with me after that, you asshole!” you giggled. 
“yea, but it made you laugh, didn’t it?” 
you rolled your eyes at him, pulling him down by his shirt to give him a long, passionate kiss. 
changbin
cool, calm, and collected was the perfect way to describe changbin. he never got worked up over things and always knew to find a middle ground in any tough situation. he was strong both inside and out, always protective and always trying. he was simple and it was one of the most attractive things about him. 
because of this, it was not often that you and changbin argued. it was like he knew better than to argue as it never achieved anything and just made the two of you even more worked up. he thought it was best to talk things out and you always agreed, so naturally, arguments never happened. 
changbin has been different lately. he was quieter, less outgoing, needing more personal space than usual. you assumed it was just from stress or maybe one of those off days that everyone gets, so you brushed it off for the most part. you’d check in here and there, maybe send him a cute picture of you or leave him a sweet note to wake up to. all of these things went unnoticed by him, though, which was not like him at all. 
he had a long weekend ahead of him, so you thought it would be nice to bring him some things to keep with him while he worked 12+ hours at the studio. you got a bag of all his favorite snacks, cooked some of his favorite meals, brought him an insulated cup for his coffee, and even some extra clothes if the studio got too cold or warm. you just wanted to do something small to make him smile or cheer up a bit. 
when you arrived at the studio, you softly knocked on the door and poked your head in. you were greeted by his cute fluffy hair and a small smile. 
“hey, babe. what’s all this?” he asked. 
“i know you’ve been busy, so i thought i’d just bring a couple of things you might need. i even cooked some of your favorites.” you said, holding the bag out to him. 
he took it, placed it on his desk, and watched you as if he was expecting you to walk out. 
“well, thank you! i’m excited to eat this later. i’ll be home on friday, i think. love you.” he got up from his chair to kiss you goodbye, but you stood like a plank and just watched him. 
“nope. not leaving.” you giggled, but he didn’t laugh back. 
“yes, leaving. i love you, goodbye.” he responded. 
“why are you being mean to me lately? i just want to love you and you won’t let me.” you poured. 
“oh my god, yn. you always make it about you. this is my job! i don’t know what else you expect! just leave like i asked.” he yelled. 
no, not even just a raise of his voice. he yelled. loud. like loud enough that you’re sure the whole floor heard it. 
you nodded your head and walked out, your eyes facing the floor and your arms coming to wrap around yourself as you shamefully walked out of the building. you spent the whole trip home wiping your eyes and thinking about all the things he said. once you got home, you showered, got dressed, and instantly went to bed. you sat there in total silence until your phone buzzed:
binnie 💗: yn. i’m sorry. i’m coming home now to talk to you. i shouldn’t have said what i did and i didn’t mean any of it. please stay up for me. so we can talk?” 
you sighed and silently agreed, waiting for him to come home. 
the second he walked into your bedroom, you started sobbing. he looked so concerned and ready to see you that it broke your heart all over again. 
“no, yn, please don’t cry. i’m so sorry, baby. i take back all of it. i should’ve let you stay with me so we could talk.” he confessed. 
“it hurts, changbin… everything hurts.” you sobbed. 
“i know, princess, im sorry. you’re probably so exhausted. all of that cooking and running around and i couldn’t even sit with you for a little bit? who even i am?” he admitted, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. 
he sat on the bed and pulled your head onto his lap, you tried to hide your face in it but he didn’t let you. instead, he lifted you onto him and wrapped your arms around his torso. 
“much better. i’m sorry for snapping on you. i’m so stressed lately and i didn’t want to be working anymore, so i just yelled. i haven’t yelled like that in so long, i don’t even know what got into me. but i can promise you that it was not your fault and you did nothing wrong. okay?” 
you nodded and pushed your face into his neck, holding him even tighter than before. 
he shook his head, “no, no, none of that. talk to me, baby. tell me what you’re thinking.” 
“i’m just sad… i thought you’d be so happy seeing me and you weren’t. you just yelled at me and scared me…” you pouted. 
“i know and i can’t say sorry enough. how about tomorrow i make it all up to you? i’ll take you out to eat for every meal, buy you whatever you want, maybe we can go for a nice walk or go somewhere new? how does that sound?” he asked, kissing your forehead. 
“much better, binnie. tonight, will you just hold me?” 
and he did exactly that. even when you woke up, you were pressed so tightly against him that it felt like you could barely breathe (in the best way possible). 
hyunjin 
petty, petty, petty. that was the best way to describe any argument you ever had with hyunjin. you both weren’t the arguing type, but when you did, it wasn’t pretty. 
there were lots of silent treatments, snarky comments, and slamming of doors. you were both equally dramatic and barely able to communicate, meaning the small things always added up. 
he was slacking with cleaning the bathroom or switching out the laundry. you were holding off on grocery shopping and taking too long in the shower when he really had to pee. the list went on of the small things that would just tick each other off. 
the problem with tonight was that you promised hyunjin to be home in time to make dinner and hyunjin promised that you’d come home to a clean house. 
neither of those things happened. 
you walked in expecting everything to be spick and span. no dirty dishes, clean floors, tidied up living room, maybe even a cleaned up hyunjin waiting for you on the couch. but, nope, there was none of that. 
so as payback, you didn’t make dinner and you certainly didn’t order any either. you were just waiting for hyunjin to come back from wherever he was. when he walked into the still messy house and had no dinner on the stove or a pretty girlfriend in an apron, he was just as pissed off as you. 
“oh, look who decided to come home!” you snickered. 
“i knew you were gonna get mad at this..” he rolled his eyes and threw his keys on the counter. 
“why the fuck would i not be mad at this when you legit promised me you’d just get it done?” you replied. 
“i don’t know, yn, maybe because i have a life too? maybe because my biggest priority isn’t cleaning?” he spat.  
“we’re never going to get along if you don’t just listen to me! we’ve only lived together for three months and it’s already not working because you just won’t listen!” you yelled. 
“well if that’s the case, move out.” he asserted. 
you scoffed at him and stomped to your bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. 
you replayed his words in your head over and over again. how could he say something like that? but also, how could you say something like that?
then, the guilt hit you. you weren’t hearing him out because you were upset over some stupid glass and cloth. you started to cry, holding one hand to your chest and the other to your mouth to try to muffle your sobs. you were scared he would leave you. maybe force you to move out. maybe he’d find someone new who’d treat him better. you didn’t know. all you knew was that you’d be crying yourself to sleep that night. 
not long after you fell asleep, you were awoken by a soft knock on the door. 
“yn? are you up?” he whispered. 
you contemplated answering, not wanting to add fuel to the fire, but you got up anyways. 
when you opened your bedroom door, hyunjin looked like a mess. his eyes were red, his face was pale, and his lips were swollen and not in the way that made you want to devour his face. instead, it made your heart sting. 
“can’t sleep without you…” he pouted, his pretty face staring at the ground. 
you sighed and pulled him into the room by his hand. you led him into the bed and brought the covers up over the both of you, wrapping yourself around him not long after. 
“can’t sleep without you either, hyunjinnie. at least not the right way,” you whispered. 
he noticed the crack in your voice and brought his hands to your face, feeling the wetness on your cheeks and cringing at himself for being the cause of it. 
“were you crying, angel?” he whispered and you nodded in response. he almost cried himself. 
“it hurts, jinnie… i hate fighting with you all the time…” 
he closed his eyes, “i know, angel. i hate it too. a lot. and i’m sorry for not cleaning up when you asked me to. it was wrong on my end. you had every right to not cook and i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. i never want to make you cry, princess. next time, i’ll be sure to clean everything before you come home.” he said. 
you nod and pull yourself closer to him, sticking your face in his neck and gently playing with his hair. 
“m’sorry i snapped too… you don’t deserve that. i know you’re busy…” 
“never too busy to make my princess happy, hm? it doesn’t take long anyways,” he replied, kissing the top of your head and holding it close to him. 
han 
jisung always knew he could count on you to help him when he struggled. you were an immense comfort to him and he found so much love and satisfaction in your relationship. though, he could get a bit in his head sometimes and struggled to let you know when he needed help. he was used to this, though, so he knew exactly how to cover it up without you noticing too much. 
he had been working a lot and didn’t have as much time as he or you would like to be able to focus on himself and his well-being. he smiled less, came home later and left earlier, and couldn’t sleep well. they were all parts of his job, sure, but he never knew went to just take a break. this is when you would come into the picture and help him try to sort out some time to focus on himself, even if it was only for an hour or two. 
lately, jisung was falling down this hole again. he was overworking himself and did not take nearly enough breaks as he should’ve. you’d tell him off and try to help and he’d take it in the moment, but it never actually worked. he slowly started to spiral into his mind, unable to focus on anything else but his work or how he was feeling. 
he came home late and just wanted to sleep, but he was greeted with what seemed to be an angry you. 
“am i in trouble… why do you look like that…” he asked anxiously. 
“because i’m tired of seeing you be tired. you need to get some rest and just listen to what i tell you, jisung. i’m worried about you.” you explained. 
“you don’t have anything to be worried about, yn. this is just how my life is. i know how to handle it.” 
you smacked your teeth, “whatever you say. i’m done trying to help.” 
he turned to face you, scanning your eyes and taking a second to think before he spoke. 
“well, sometimes you think you’re helping when you’re not helping at all, so i’m glad to hear you’re done trying.” he said with a fake smile, attempting to turn around before you grabbed his wrist. 
“what did you just say?” you asked, your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear your words. 
“i said you always think you’re helping when you’re not, so thank you for saying you’re done because i didn’t want it in the first place!” he shouted. 
he’s never yelled at you like that, it made you flinch. it made you feel even worse now that his eyes were practically burning through your skull. he looked like he hated you… 
“how could you say that to me..?” you whispered to the ground and left the kitchen to go into your bedroom. 
once you hit the bed, you wrapped yourself up in the blankets and just sat there. no thoughts or distractions, just staring at the wall in front of you with no emotions. that was until you started to think about the way he was looking at you. the way his eyes grew small but his shoulders stood tall, it wasn’t like him. not at all. 
now, you couldn’t help but cry thinking about it. you held your hand to your mouth and softly cried, not even a sob, just a cry. you were too exhausted to start wailing, so you let the tears fall and the blanket sheltered you to give you just a little bit of comfort. 
two hours later, jisung came creeping into the room. he tiptoed to his closet and quietly opened the door, trying not to wake you up. he didn’t know you had been crying for the last two hours so when he heard you call for him, he practically jumped through the roof. 
“jeez, you scared me. why are you awake?” he questioned. 
“jisung… it hurts.” 
he walked over to the bed, his face covered in confusion. 
“what hurts, baby?” he asked, pulling his hand to your face and looking at you with concern. 
“and why is your face wet?” 
you sobbed now, how could he be so soft and careful after being so harsh? 
“it hurts me when you say those things! my face is wet because i’ve been crying alone all night! and you don’t even care!” you cried. 
it was now his turn to tear up, he looked like a guilty dog when he brought his eyes to yours again. 
“i know it hurts… i know it does. i’m sorry, baby. truly.” 
“if you were sorry you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” you stated, turning away from him. 
“i know that and i have no excuse. all i can say is i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t be pushing you away when we both know i need help and i’m so sorry i said those things to you. especially because i didn’t mean it… not at all.” he whispered, his hand coming to rub your back. 
you started to softly cry again, 
“no, no, no, none of that, baby. i can’t see you cry again. please? no crying? let’s just talk?” 
you didn’t respond, so he climbed into the bed and pulled you into his chest. he stroked your head and kissed the top of it, whispering that you’d be okay and you’d both figure it out together. you were too tired to talk and he understood, he mentally agreed with himself to talk to you about it in the morning. for now, he’d protect you and hold you while you slept for the night. 
felix 
considering you’ve been dealing with your period for the last 10 years, you thought by now you’d be able to handle the bad days. but today, you just couldn’t. you held your heating pad hard on your lower stomach, took painkillers, drank water, ate what you could, the list went on and nothing helped to lessen the extremes of your period. 
you also missed your boyfriend. a lot. 
he always knew what to do in scenarios like this. not only could he sense it before it even came, but he also could read your mind and figure out exactly what you wanted. maybe it was warm soup or a hot bath, maybe some chocolate or a comforting movie. he just always knew. except for this week. 
he was busy and too caught up in his things to take much notice of your pre-period struggles. you didn’t mind because you knew he had so much else going on, but today was just different. you wanted him around to take care of you and comfort you, but he would be out of the house until 8pm, if not later. 
later was the correct time as felix didn’t come home until 12. you were still curled up on the couch in your comfy clothes and heating pad when he walked in the door. 
“hey sunshine, you’re up late!” he said, walking to the fridge to get some food and water. 
you mumbled an “mm.” 
he walked over to the couch and plopped his hand on your head, you turned your head away in response. 
“what’s up with you, babe?” he asked sweetly. 
“you were supposed to be home at 8.” you pouted. 
“aww, i know sweetheart. i’m sorry. let me wash up and we can go to sleep, okay?” 
“i don’t want to go to sleep, felix. i just want to be with you. i missed you all day and you didn’t even text me or anything. i’ve been sitting here in pain just waiting for you and nothing.” you harshly exclaimed. 
“you know it’s not my fault, babe…” 
“that’s not the point, felix! you could’ve just told me you’d be gone for so long!” you shouted. 
“yea, but it’s not that simple! if i could i would have! you know they won’t let me!” he shouted back, already turning towards the bathroom. 
“you have no idea, felix!! none at all!” you huffed and rolled your eyes. 
you sat there annoyed until a wave of guilt washed over you. you couldn’t understand why you were so harsh when you’re usually so considerate of his abrupt change in schedules. in hopes of not bothering him more, you got up to go to your room, but as you walked you started to feel worse. your head was spinning and your stomach was turning by the time you opened the door, barely making it to your bed. you slumped onto the end of it and began sobbing. 
it took another twenty minutes until felix came into the bedroom, seeing you curled up on the bed and clutching your sweatshirt. 
“hey, hey, hey? what’s wrong yn? talk to me, baby.” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 
“it hurts, felix. so bad. i can’t do this for another week.” you admitted. 
another week? he thought to himself…
and then the gears started turning and felix remembered the date and time of the month. 
he sighed, “oh, my baby. i understand, sweetheart. you’re okay now. i’ll take care of you. just do some deep breaths for me, hm?” 
you brought your head into his lap and the sobbing continued. he raked his hand up and down your back, shushing you and letting you know that you’d be okay. 
“i shouldn’t have gotten so upset at you, felix. i know it isn’t your fault, i’ve just been in so much pain all day and all i needed was you,” you admitted. 
his face and heart softened at your words. he loved knowing you needed him, but it still hurt him that he couldn’t always be there for you. 
“why don’t i go run a bath for you, angel? how does that sound?” 
you shook your head. 
“hmm, what about a massage?” 
you nodded,
“maybe some cuddles and we can watch youtube, too?” he added. 
“sounds perfect.” you sniffled, pressing a long kiss to his cheek. 
seungmin
“why does everything have to be a struggle with you?” 
his words rang in your ears as you walked to work. your morning started just fine, you had your breakfast and talked with him about what you’d both be doing for the day. sure, you’ll admit you complained a little more than usual, but it was just because work had been a lot on you lately. 
one of the issues seungmin carried with him was that he wasn’t very good with communication. he’d take whatever words you threw at him and just go on with his day, causing all of it to build up until he’d crash. except, he’d never really “crash”, he would just do what he did this morning which would say one small thing that was extremely hurtful. 
you weren’t trying to compare your life to his or try to make your situation sound worse, you just needed to vent a little bit. usually, he would encourage it too, but this morning it was different and you didn’t seem to notice. 
you went along with your workday the best you could until the worst came to worse and everything started to build up. you spilled coffee on your lap, you found out you missed an important assignment due date, and you forgot your lunch because in the morning you were too focused on your stupid conversation with your boyfriend. 
once you got home, you showered and went straight to the couch to catch up on your favorite show. you were so into it you didn’t even notice when seungmin came home. 
“so, you’re just going to ignore me all night?” 
you turned around quickly and gasped,
“jeez, you scared me! what the hell… i didn’t even notice you were home” you said, turning down the tv. 
“right.” he scoffed. 
“i’m serious! i had a long day, i was just trying to relax.” you explained. 
“i’m sure you did.”
“okay, enough with the sarcasm it’s annoying.” you said, rolling your eyes at him. 
“is it annoying? i didn’t even notice i was doing it!” he mumbled, still sarcastically. 
“oh my god, whatever. i’m going to bed.” 
hours went by and seungmin still didn’t come to bed with you. it made you nervous, worried he wasn’t going to come in at all, maybe even break up with you because he was so done with it all. 
before you knew it, you were softly crying to yourself. you couldn’t help but think about all the times you must’ve drained him and made him feel bad for his issues. you cursed at yourself for not being as attentive as you should be, too worried about your issues to realize maybe you were the cause of his. 
now, you were breaking down and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. you decided to walk to the kitchen to get some water in hopes that it would help you calm down, but you were stopped when you noticed seungmin was still awake. 
when you walked over to him, he was sitting straight up with his face also covered in tears. you quickly sat next to him. 
“hey, why are you crying? what’s wrong?” you asked, starting to cry again. 
“shouldn’t i be asking you that?” he sniffled, wiping his face and looking away from you. 
you push his face back to yours, 
“it hurts me when we do this. everything hurts.” you say, sinking to lay your head on his lap. 
“i shouldn’t have said what i did this morning. it hurts me when i hurt you and i shouldn’t belittle you like that..” he whispered. 
“it’s okay… i know i do it a lot.” you replied. 
“but it’s not okay and you don’t do it a lot. not at all. i just get overwhelmed and forget to tell you how i’m feeling and i’m sorry for that. i hate it about myself.” 
“don’t say that, seungmin. it’s not your fault that you can’t feel your limits sometimes.” you say, now holding his hand tightly. 
“well, i’m still sorry and i want to make it up to you. i hate knowing i made you cry.” 
“let’s just stay like this for now, okay? we can figure it out later. for now, i just want to be with you.” 
he nodded and finally laid on the couch, pulling you closer and wrapping your arms around him. 
“i love you so much. i don’t say it enough, so from now on i’ll tell you every time i think about it.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 
“i love you too. so so much.” 
jeongin
from friday morning to sunday night, there was no sign of jeongin. at first, you figured it was just a busy work schedule and he’d text you saturday morning explaining where he’d been, but that never came. every notification that popped up on your phone made you jump in hopes of it being your boyfriend, but it never was. you were starting to worry. you texted all his friends to see if they knew, but they were just as confused and concerned as you. it wasn’t like him to just go ghost out of nowhere, so what could he be doing and where could he be? 
you barely slept the whole weekend, you were worried sick. you constantly checked your windows and the peephole of the door, but still no sign of jeongin.
sunday night came around and you spammed him with texts and calls until your phone was hot. there was still no answer so you began to cry. you spiraled. you were so close to calling the cops and trying to figure out where your boyfriend was when you heard a knock on the door. you sprinted to it and yanked it open to see your smiling boyfriend, bags in his hands and mosquito bites covering his arms. 
“i’m home, babe!” 
you blinked and tried to calm yourself down before you spoke, but it didn’t work. 
“what the fuck, jeongin! you left me with no trace of you for three days straight! what the fuck! where were you? why are you so happy and why are you covered in bumps?” you yelled. 
and when he looked at you with confusion, you started to sob all over again. 
your knees slammed to the ground,
“jeongin. i was so- was so worried about you. you can never do that again. please, don’t leave me like that again or i’ll lose myself. and i can't lose you either. it hurts me too much when you’re gone.” you cried. 
he blinked, coming down to the floor to sit with you. he wasn’t sure what to say, trying to process your emotions and understand why you were so upset. he thought he told you he’d be gone…
“babe… i’m sorry i left and that i scared you, but i left you a note and texted you before i left… i was okay!” he softly said, now rubbing your back to try to soothe you. 
“no, you didn’t. i would’ve seen it.” 
“hm. well, i’m not sure what else to tell you except that i’m sorry.” he huffed. 
you shot him a death stare and stormed off to your room, sinking under the covers and quietly crying to yourself. 
he put his things away and got himself situated to give you some space, hoping it would help you cool down a bit. 
“babe? can i come in?” he asked, you just hmphed him in response. he walked over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. 
“i know you’re upset with me, babe. i’m sorry for scaring you like that. next time i’ll try to be more specific, okay?” 
“there won’t be a next time! i don’t want you leaving me ever again!” you whined, making him laugh. 
“okay, my love. no more leaving without you. i’m sorry.” he was nervous while replying, still new to learning how to handle someone else’s emotions, especially yours. 
you nodded and tugged him by his sweatshirt so he could come to lay with you. he rested his head on top of yours and rubbed up and down your arms. 
“missed how warm you are. and your smell. and your touch..” you started to cry again, but he shushed you before you could start. 
“no, no, no more tears. i can’t see you cry anymore. i’m here now, so let’s be happy. okay? we can be with each other for as long as you want, just no crying.” he whispered and you agreed, coming up to him to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. 
“i missed my crybaby.” he smiled. it was safe to say he’d never be leaving you again, note or not. he hadn’t said it yet, but he missed you just as much, if not more.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
note - there’s so much softness in this i almost cried 🥲 i swear there is nothing better than hurt to comfort. jeongin, seungmin, and changbin were my last ones to write bc they’re just too precious to be mean 😭. it was like that for all of them honestly. they’re just too sweet!!!! i cant picture them being mean!!!! anyways i hope u like this anon <33
taglist - @hyunverse @telesvng @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @softiejoon
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yangbbokari · 6 months
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Skz makes a bet on you Maknae Line
Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader
Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU
Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it
Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them
A.N: Not proof read at all and this is the maknae line to the previous one. Both part twos will be coming out soo I promise🤭
Parts: Hyung Line Part 2
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HAN JISUNG It was his birthday and you were more than happy to surprise him. The members were in on it too. To suddenly stop during practice and sit him down.
For the whole day you were preparing. Making a cheesecake for him and baking a cake for the rest of the members. You decorated the cheesecake in some little quokka cake pops. After you were done, you began cooking his favorite meals and packing them up. When all the cooking, making, and cooking was done, you found that you had more time on your hands. So you felt the need to clean the house so it’d be all tidy when he got back.
You checked the time before heading out. The house was clean, food was ready, now all you needed to do was get a gift and drive to the company. As you strolled through the store a very particular item caught your eye. A small clip earring with a feather at the end. It was perfect. Jisung always called you his, quote on quote, “Little Dove.”
So you grabbed it and put it in a little box with a bow.
You drove to the company excitedly. Giving the food to the staff before making your way to the practice room. You were just about to step in when you heard it. The color drained form your face and the excitement you held earlier, gone.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year since me and y/n started dating and we made that bet.” You heard your boyfriend say.
Bang Chan tried to stop him. “Jisung, I think—”
“You guys have to remember! We made a bet to see if I could pull y/n. Y’all made me go up to her and ask if she wanted to date me because she seemed lonely and if she agreed then I’d get 20 bucks from each of y’all.”
You could hear the boys try to stop him since they knew you were here but it was too late. They turned to see the door to the practice room slowly creak open. Standing there with the cake in your hands and tears in your eyes.
“Happy Birthday, Baby.” You said as tears fell from your eyes. Quickly wiping them away since it was supposed to be a happy occasion. Placing the cake into a staff members hands, you shoved the box into your pocket. “I-I-I guess I’ll give you what you want for your birthday gift.” You turned and ran as far as you can. Dropping the gift into the trash can on your way out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE FELIX He knew you were this insecure so how could he say that. You’d always hated your figure since before you could remember. Whenever you met someone new, that was the first thing they noticed. The size of your body. You hated the way you looked but Felix always told you different. He made you believe you were as beautiful as you are and you slowly gained your confidence.
That was until today. The confidence he helped you build, he tore down himself.
Today, you came home a bit earlier than usual. When walking through the door, you announced your arrival but Felix was nowhere in sight. You could hear the slight mumbling coming from another room. You had forgotten. He had told you that Minho was coming this morning.
After taking off your shoes and hanging your coat, you walked over to the door. Just so happening to hear what they were conversing. The cat-like boy began first. “You remember that bet we made?”
“Hmm?” Your boyfriend replied.
“You’ve got to give it to me that you and y/n started dating in the first place.” “Ohhh!!! That’s what you’re talking about. The bet, right?”
“Yeah, when I told you I’d give you one hundo if you got the fat girl’s number. Now it’s been two years since you guys started dating.” Too immersed in your own shock, you dropped the items you were holding. Tears filled your eyes. Both, Felix and Minho’s, heads jerked in your direction.
“Y/n? How long have you been standing there?” Felix asked you in a panic.
“N-not long…”
You picked up your things from the floor, reput on your shoes and coat, grabbed your keys, and headed out the door. You didn’t know if you could stay any longer. You felt hurt to hear that. He helped you through your insecurities just to make it worse than before he arrived. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ KIM SEUNGMIN Your whole world fell apart. And so did your oh so perfect relationship with Seungmin.
It was just a petty argument that came from stress and the lack of sleep but it still hurt you. It actually hurt more than you thought it would. But what hurt most of all was what you had to find out.
Seungmin returned home after tour extremely tired so you did your best. You made sure he had every meal and wasn't overwhelmed. But apparently, you didn't do enough. He began to berate you for even the smallest things and it tore your heart apart.
One day, as you laid on the bed the two of you shared, he slammed the bedroom door open. You flinched and looked up at him. A little bit annoyed you asked, "The hell was that for?"
He sighed and glared at you.
"You want to know? This comeback has been stressful and all you do is lay in bed all day. You never clean around the house even though you're only doing a part-time job. I mean seriously, are you just going to be that FUCKING LAZY!?"
You looked at him in disbelief. Never in a million years did you ever expect to see this side of him.
"I literally just got done cooking and came to lay on the bed. I was waiting for YOU to get home. I washed our clothes, folded them, put them away, then cleaned around the house. I did all this because I know you like your place tidy. Plus, a clean space is better for the mind."
"You call this clean!? It looks like a pigsty." You felt the tears blazing at the corner of your eyes. "Don't fucking say that. I'm trying my best to not say anything right now." "Say it then!!" He yelled. You huffed and turned away not wanting to argue any longer. "Yeah... turn away like you always do. I should've just left you as a bet. Never loved you in the first place."
It was a slip of the tongue. He didn't mean it. Or did he? Either way, it hurt you. Seungmin knew he was wrong but didin't want to admit itin the heat of the moment.
You turned to face him, finally letting the tears out. "Fuck you..." Was all you said before grabbing your phone and leaving the house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YANG JEONGIN It was accidental. Jeongin was so flustered in the moment that he confessed everything to you. He didn't intend for you to find out like this but how else were you suppose to?
The both of you were at dinner with the other members. They all teased Jeongin for being such a simp for you. You just chuckled at their antics. It was cute to see the youngest member get teased by his hyungs and you were glad to witness it all in first person.
Jeongin, being fed up, accidentaly let it slip.
"Well it was because you guys made a bet with me that if I could pull y/n then y'all would buy me the new Bruno Mars album."
Everyone went silent as you slowly faced him. "What did you say..?"
Jeongin immediately placed a hand over his mouth. Tears brimmed your eyes. You stood up, excusing yourself. "I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." None of them even tried to stop you. They knew that they'd be devastated in your situation too.
Were you being a little dramatic? The answer was yes. You could've heard Jeongin out instead of hiding in the bathroom. But at this point, you weren't so sure. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ taglist: @lolareadsimagines @garrixer-06 @bandolls @chansbabygirlsstuff @camilagonzalex @mariteez @beccaskz
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jl-micasea-fics · 13 days
Text
Soft, Strong and Very Long (Distance) | lfl
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❝𝐆𝐨𝐝, 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝.❞
↳ He goes to school a thousand miles away, and takes a piece of you with him every time he leaves. The struggles are real, but so is your love.
↳ Lee Felix x female reader
↳ Long distance relationship romance trope. Crack/comedy, fluff, mostly dialogue, sexy tension, very minor angst, clumsy attempts at nudes and phone sex, smutty ending.
! Explicit content, adult themes, 4.5k, suitable for 18+ readers only !
「Part of the skz tropes collab w @yoongihan」 「main contents list」 「© March 2024 by jl-micasea-fics」
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The goodbyes were always so much harder than you could prepare for.
No matter how many times you went through it, this being the fourth, the pain of separation never failed to crush your chest and clog your throat, rendering you unable to speak but for the sobs that Felix gently hushed and cradled you through. It all seemed so unfair; that he should have to return to the other side of the world all for the sake of a diploma that he could just as easily achieve somewhere much closer, but he had been there before he met you, and so there was no accounting for love. Not then.
Now, he swept the tears from your cheeks and peppered your lips with sweet kisses that you would cling to for the long, dreary months of his absence, just as you would every piece of him he left behind— the hoodie that you’d stolen from his suitcase, the droplet earring that he said looked better on you than him anyway.
The bustle of the airport barely imposed upon your farewell, mere background noise and faceless intruders.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he said.
“Three months is forever.”
“It’s not,” he laughed softly, sweet eyes curving to crescents. “We’re forever. This is just a blip.”
“I hate blips.”
“Me too, baby.”
He kissed you once more, the staticky announcement for the opening of his gate sounding around you. He pulled away, and despite your want to clutch at him, there was no choice but to let him go.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” he promised.
“Alright.”
“I love you.”
Emotion choked you. “Love you.”
With a bright wave and a smile so radiant of the sunshine he embodied, he hitched his rucksack to his shoulder, and departed. If you were left with a rock in your gut and a pit in your chest, none around you would have known, for you took a deep breath and through the tears that swam in your vision, marched from the airport and drove home alone.
The first night without him was spent in the company of ice cream and old movies; a ritual that did little to ease the weight of sadness, but that bore enough monotony to eventually lull you into restless sleep, where flashes of dreams came to you in soft gold and a smattering of freckles.
--
The second night was somewhat easier, no doubt in part due to self-inflicted exhaustion. Throwing yourself into work was, as you had come to learn, most efficient in distracting you from thoughts of the man you loved so far away. With a hundred and one things to do (for the role of an intern was never without labour), there was no time to afford to daydreams of Felix, and in these early stages of separation, that was nothing but a blessing.
It was as you were dozing contentedly on your bed that your phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Wow. That didn’t even ring.”
His voice was such a salve to all your upsets and complaints.
“Miss me that badly?” he laughed.
“You know I do.”
“You’re adorable.”
“Am not.”
His low laugh rumbled pleasantly in your ear.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Busy. Don’t mind that, though. Takes my mind off you.”
“See? Adorable.”
“Shut up.”
“Never.”
“How was yours?”
“Fine. I was locked in the library from ten this morning until about an hour ago, so.”
“Fun.”
“Mhm.” He sighs. “Could have done with coming home to you, honestly.”
“Don’t say things like that,” you mumbled. “It makes me sad.”
“Baby. It should make you look forward to the future, when I will be coming home to you.”
“All I do is look forward to the future.”
“Me too.”
A moment of silence conveyed the weight of sadness, but was quickly broken by Felix, ever optimistic.  
“If I were there right now, I’d cook you a nice dinner, we’d have a glass of wine or three. I’d run you a hot bath and when you were done, we’d vegetate in front of Netflix until one a.m.”
“Sounds like heaven,” you sighed.
“Yeah? Wait until you hear what happens when we go to bed.”
A wry smile crossed your lips. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“Well...” he spoke quietly, barely a whisper, voice reaching silky depths. “I’d keep you close to me, hold you until you were on the brink of sleep. I’d kiss your shoulder softly, run my hands down your body— you’d be wearing those cute pink pyjamas. The shorts with the lace.”
“Mhm. And?”
“I’d touch you carefully... brush my fingers over that little spot on your spine that makes you shiver. Kiss below your earlobe and over your neck, just the way you like it. The way I like it.”
A warmth of arousal began to stir, and so it was that you sank to the pillows at your back.
“And then?”
“Then… well. I’d spread your pretty thighs and settle between them, and you’d feel how hard you make me, but I wouldn’t give it to you. Not like that. Not yet.”
“So mean...”
“Oh, baby. Savouring the moment makes me mean?”
“Yes.”
“But it’s so easy to get you to plead for it. You look at me with those sweet doe eyes and a little pout on your perfect lips, and I want to kiss it right off. You say my name just the right way.”
“What way is that?”
“The way that makes me want to fuck you into next week.”
“Felix...”
“See?” He hummed. “Just like that.”
Now hot under the proverbial collar, it was hardly upon you to deny the urge as your hand crept ever lower to where you ached beyond imagination.
“This is so unfair,” you mumbled.
“We do it to ourselves. Talking like this.”
“But it’s fun. To talk like this. I like it.”
“Are you wet, baby?”
“... Yeah.”
“God.” A sharp intake of breath. “This isn’t just unfair, it’s fucking torture.”
“Maybe we should stop here, then.” You sighed. “Before we can’t.”
“Right. Wise. I somehow have to make it home with this raging hard-on.”
“You’re not even home?”
“You couldn’t hear?” He laughed. “I’m on the bus.”
“Oh my— That’s why you’re whispering?!”
His laughter flitted down the phone, bright and seemingly unashamed.
“You’re awful. Somebody might have heard you.”
“There's only, like, two other people here. Don’t worry about it.”
“You know I will.”
“Adorable.”
“Felix—”
“I’ll call you tomorrow, baby.”
Just like that, the sadness returned, a familiar friend wrapping its cold arms around you. “Alright.”
“Touch yourself for me in the meantime, okay?”
“Felix!”
“And send pictures. I want proof, baby.”
“You’re insane—”
“For you. Yes. Night, sweetheart.”
“Goodnight.”
--
The OF girls made it look easy. As did the porn stars and the cam girls and everyone else whose profession was even remotely related to capturing any part of their naked body on camera.
Never during the relationship had he asked you to do such a thing. To ‘send nudes’ was to trust implicitly, and while you most definitely did trust Felix, you couldn’t help but consider it almost a test of the relationship— of your commitment to him, the strength of which would be measured by your willingness to do this one small thing for him.
You could at least try, you supposed.
It seemed to be a question of position. Legs spread and laying back on the bed made you comfortable enough, but then the resulting shots were far from appealing. At least, to your mind. You’d have preferred a little less overhang of tummy and nearness of thighs. Felix would curse you out for such a thought. Bending over and presenting all and sundry to camera was too reminiscent of a hippo assuming birthing position, and so was also quickly ruled out with a shudder. Squatting over the camera in what you thought was a small stroke of genius soon devolved to a bout of horror; rewatching the footage inspired expectations of something too horrible to comprehend. As though looking up from inside a toilet bowl.
Thoroughly fed up and resolved to letting Felix down, you realised almost two hours passed since you’d begun this ridiculous exercise of sucking in, of pouting, of arching and of contorting your body to unrecognisable proportions at the expense of your discomfort and the onset of dysmorphia. Two hours of your time that could have gone into literally anything else better suited to soothing your spirits and the absence of your boyfriend.
When he called that night, he detected your upset.
“What is it, baby?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“You don’t want to talk?”
“I do.”
“Talk to me, then.”
“You talk to me.”
“I’d love to, but this vibe is making it difficult.”
“Fine. Don’t then. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Hey, woah— Wait a second. Baby.”
“What?” you snapped, voice breaking.
“What’s the matter? Did I do something? Are you upset with me?”
A huff of frustration caught on your tongue, for the truth of it was that your poor mood was no fault of his. Not really.
“No.” You muttered.
“Please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, we can—”
“I couldn’t take any pictures for you.”
A moment of silence betrayed his stupefaction.
“What?”
“The pictures,” you said again. “The proof that you wanted. Of me. Touching myself. I couldn’t do it. I felt so ugly and looked so stupid and tried for so long but it just didn’t work.”
More silence preceded a heavy sigh.
“That’s why you’re in a bad mood? Because you couldn’t take pictures for me?”
“Mhm.”
“God. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m an idiot.”
“Wh—”
“I asked you to do that without thinking. I didn’t mean for it to become such a thing. I didn’t actually expect you to send me anything.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Then why ask?”
“I don’t know. It just... we were in the moment, I guess? Fooling around?”
“It didn’t feel like you were fooling around to me. You said you wanted proof.”
“I know.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I was... trying to be sexy, or whatever. I should have thought about how much pressure it would put on you.”
“It wasn’t pressure, it was just...”
“It was me being a thoughtless idiot. I’m sorry.”
A weight of relief seemed to evaporate from your shoulders in the instance of his apology and explanation, and then so trivial did the whole thing appear.
“I guess this is just one of those long-distance things we’re going to have to get better at,” he said.
“We’ll get there. It’s okay.”
“It’s hard, being so far from you.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Stop apologising. Let’s just... learn from it and move on. Next time I’ll ask if you’re serious or not.”
“There won’t be a next time, babe.”
“Alright. Well. If there is, though.”
“Alright. If there is.”
--
The tenth night of Felix’s absence was spent in the company of a long, extra-hot bath, sorely called for by the arbiters of self-care, i.e. your good and common senses.
Felix liked to bathe with you in this very tub. It was one of his favourite things to do after intimate exertions made you both sensible to the need, and so it was that you quietly recalled the sensation of his lathered hands on your skin, of his keen and practiced hands massaging your tender shoulders, arms and thighs. You’d been so unsure of it at first— to share a bath like that seemed to cross multiple boundaries that should be held between couples to maintain the air of mystery a relationship should possess to nurse the ‘spark’, for fear too much comfort will snuff it out, and yet there he was, happily stepping over it. It was all so easy for him. Everything was easy for him. He made everything easy for you, with his endless charm and gentile nature and the offering of a simple hand that would pull you near, and there all uncertainty would melt against his warmth.
He called that night, as he always did.
“What are you up to?” he asked.
“In the bath.”
His groan was equal parts despair and want. “I miss baths.”
“You don’t have one at your place?”
“At the student dorms? No. Not that I’d use it even if we did. Imagine the civilisations living in it?”
You scoffed a laugh. “Aw. You don’t want to take a bath with new and interesting life forms.”
“You’re the only new and interesting life form I’m interested in getting soapy with, thanks.”
“Rude.”
“You love it.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Stop. Let’s not be one of those couples.”
“You’re right. Let’s not be disgustingly in love and happy about it,” he chuckled.
“Remember our first date? There was that couple in front that kept glaring at us whenever they heard us.”
“Mhm.” He hummed. “To be fair to them, movie theatres aren’t the most considerate of places to suck face.”
“We weren’t sucking face.”
“No? What would you call it then?”
“We were... getting to know each other.”
“Sure.” He laughed. “Getting to know how far our tongues could slide down each other’s throats.”
“Ew. Don’t taint my memory of our first date like that. That’s some Alien shit.”
“I’ll be your facehugger, baby.”
“Stop!” You laughed.
“There’s no escape.”
“Good. I don’t want to escape.”
“Huh. Kinky.”
“Oh my God, behave. I’m not suggesting we introduce roleplay, Lix.”
“Shame. Always wanted to cosplay as the Alien.”
“Are you suggesting we roleplay as the Alien and Ripley in the bedroom?”
“Ripley? Who said anything about Ripley? I’m far more partial to Ash.”
“Alright. I’m hanging up now.”
“You don’t want to be my pretty android princess?”
“Hanging up!”
“Baby! But we could be so good together!”
“Goodnight!”
--
Next day brought a string of messages from Felix containing links to both robot and alien costumes, each one more outrageous than the last.
>> this one has a butt flap. technology is awesome
<< wow you're really committing to this bit
>> who said it was a bit
>> ;)
If nothing else it made the working day less torturous, and if your thoughts had begun to wander down the fanfiction-paved rabbit hole of Alien versus whatever, that would have been entirely Felix’s fault. The less said about it, the better.
That night, he called on cue.
“Guess what?”
“If you’re about to tell me you’ve ordered an Alien costume, I swear to God—”
“No, no,” he laughed. “Though maybe my Amazon Wishlist looks a little scalier now than it did yesterday. That’s between me and my God.”
“You have a God?”
“No.”
“Then why—”
“Don’t worry about it. I have news. Actual news.”
“Go on.”
“I love you.”
“... What?”
“I love you.”
“What are you—”
“That’s the news. That I love you.”
If smiles could split your face, you might be in serious peril.
“Felix, baby,” you sighed. “That’s not news. I know that already.”
“Boo. But it’s my headline every day. Can’t I tell you again?”
“Of course, I just thought—”
“I love you.”
“Alright, I know. I love you too.”
“But I love you.”
“Lix—”
“I love you.”
Thus, the conversation derailed and remained on such tracks until laughter and exhaustion prevailed upon you to surrender to your boyfriend’s onslaught of affection.
He loved you, after all.
In case you hadn’t heard.
--
The sixteenth night of Felix’s absence was, as far as nights without him go, one of the better ones. After work you’d swung by the local university to listen to a talk on the art history of Studio Ghibli, the films and animation of which were close to your heart. At thirteen pounds a ticket and two hours long, you certainly felt to be on the end of good value, and better yet, had gotten to spend a little time in the company of people that shared your passion for the worlds of Hayao Miyazaki.
When Felix called, you told him all about it.
“I’m so jealous,” he sighed. “I wish I could have gone.”
“There’ll be other opportunities.”
“I hope so. Did they talk about Howl’s Moving Castle at all?”
“Of course. Did you know they used one thousand four hundred storyboard cuts for the movie? It’s amazing.”
“You’re amazing.”
“I— What? Where did that come from?” You laughed.
“My heart.”
“Weren’t we just talking about Studio Ghibli?”
“Yes. Now we’re talking about you.”
You grimaced as though as might see it. “I veto this topic.”
“Your veto has no power here, my friend. You are amazing. You do know that, right?”
“Felix…”
“I mean it. There’s not many girls would be prepared to put up with their boyfriend spending so much time away. You handle it so well.”
“I’m no saint. I have my moments.”
“I know. But that’s all they are. Moments. I can rest easy knowing you’re waiting for me.”
“Of course.” You swallowed over the lump in your throat. “I’ll always wait for you.”
“You won’t have to wait much longer. I promise. We’ll be able to do all sorts of things together when I’m back. We should go to the beach. Let’s go see the sea. And have a picnic. And take long walks and get lost. And find cute cafes to sit in while we people-watch. We can do that bookstore tour we always talked about.”
One wonderful idea after another, so appealing as to make you smile. If only the bitter stroke of impossibility didn’t taint it all.
“Until you have to leave again,” you whispered.
Silence followed Felix’s sharp catching of breath.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to spoil things.”
“No,” he muttered. “It’s okay. You’re right.”
Another beat of silence.
“One day I won’t have to leave though, you know?” he said. “When school is done, I’ll be yours. All yours.”
“Yeah. One day.”
“I know it’s hard, babe.”
“It’s not hard. I’m just— I’m having a wobble. I’m sorry. I don’t really feel like talking anymore.”
“Alright. Well. Text me, if you like. Or not. Whatever you’re up for.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
“You too.”
A sad state in which to end the conversation, but going over the same promises and reassurances and apologies given a hundred times before simply wasn’t in your capability. Felix was perpetually optimistic; that was in his nature. Yours was melancholier and more susceptible to such depressions, and he knew that. Never once made you feel bad about it. You did that well enough by yourself. For all the peaks and troughs your relationship waded through, you should have by now developed a resilience. Instead, it seemed you only felt it all more.
Yes, you would wait for him. As long as it took and as painful as it was. Would your love withstand the resentment that, despite your better self, you bore towards Felix for the constant distance? Shameful even to admit that you entertained such petty emotion, but the fact of it was that you were not the martyr Felix often sought to paint you as, and to pretend otherwise proved exhausting and festered yet more bitter and bad feeling.
He had only meant to have you looking forward to the future. You had allowed your sadness to overcome you. So it was that the struggles of long-distance love were not so easily managed. Not even when you wanted them to be.
--
Two forty-five a.m., and the sound of the front door all but bouncing off the hinges awoke you with a start of fright.
Immediately reaching for the bedside lamp, a soft glow bled over the dark room, and with the encroaching footsteps that seemed to race through your apartment, your sleep-softened mind was too slow to catch up. Your bedroom door opened, and for a moment you thought to be still stuck in the dream you’d been having.
“F— Felix?”
Already stripped of shirt and midway through unzipping his jeans, the man’s wild temperament did more to alarm you than to excite.
“What are you— What is this? What the fuck—”
“I got an early flight back,” he said as he crawled to the bed, yanked aside the duvet and slotted gracefully between your thighs. “Wanted to surprise you.”
“But it’s the middle of the—”
Your protest cut short by groan of delight as his kiss silenced you, a mess of teeth and tongues reflective of two months yearning, two months wanting. His skin cool to touch wracked you with a shiver and broke out gooseflesh; nails scraped his muscular back as he rolled against you, evidence of his arousal thick. So quickly did it descend upon you— the lust, the ferocity of his attentions, you could hardly catch a breath. What alarm had been incited melted with his touch, leaving you with warm and gooey sensation, putty in his hands.
“Missed you,” he mumbled against your skin. “Missed you so fucking much. Couldn’t bear how we ended things before. I had to see you. Had to tell you and show you much I need you—”
He hitched your thigh up, freed himself from his jeans, his rigid length pressed to where your shorts just concealed you— his eyes flashed and he grinned, picking at the material of them.
“The pink shorts,” he said. “You’re so cute.”
Scrambled beyond any comprehension, Felix slid them aside to expose you, then guiding his length through your sensitivity, shuddered at the ease of the glide; at the depth of your arousal.
“God, you make me so hard. Look, baby. Feel how hard I am?”
A groan slipped from you. “Lix—”
“Just hearing your voice these last weeks has been enough to do this to me, but this—” He kissed you again. “Feeling you, touching you. You have no idea how I ache for you, baby.”
“Felix, please—”
Plush lips attached to your neck, your hands gathered and lifted to above your head where he might have further exploration of your quivering body. Soft fingertips ran the length of your chest and waist, and in dipping between your open thighs aligned himself to your arousal, and with a sharp inhalation of breath and gentle push, the immediate relief of penetration brought a shower of heat from your crown to your toes. Stretched out gently at first, and then with firmer determination as his wants possessed him, his cock plunged fluidly with his thrusts. So painfully delicious was the sensation he offered, of fullness and security, his physical absence so sorely missed and now restored with such alacrity as could bring you to tears if not for the overwhelming need to be fucked until you could no longer recall your own name.
“Oh my God, you feel so—” His jaw locked. “Fuck, baby.”
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in Felix’s case, his fucking harder, for his pace was near ferocious. An onslaught of his desire to claim you in the ways he’d only dreamed of for a length of time, and so he fucked you as such. Slaps of skin matched the pace of the creaking bed, his gentle grunts and sighs and muted curses setting fires under your skin. Resting back on his calves, he held your ankles and kept you spread, better posed at an angle that brought you to a cry of delight.
“Oh my— Lix—”
The heavy drag of his thickness sparked white noise and ignited a hot daze, your thighs quivering with his insistence.
“Yes, baby—” He panted, bit the flesh of his plump bottom lip. “You’re made for me. All for me. No matter where you are, you’re mine.”
Such sentiments of possession touched parts of yourself hitherto unexplored, and those parts were felt keenly by both present. Felix groaned and unable to keep himself so supported, returned to a missionary state, his weight just held above you, his hips ever fluid in their hard, easing thrusts. Everything about you seemed to tighten, springs wanting to be released in the face of your encroaching euphoria, and with Felix knocking all the breath from you with every thrust, you could not well vocalise how loath you were to be unfilled for even a second.
“I— I can’t, I’m going to—”
Helpless trembling demonstrated to Felix all he need know, and with a victorious grin did he kiss you and speak openly:
“I feel you, baby. Come for me.”
And feel it, he did; all of it, down to the last wave of salacious pleasure that rendered you so dumb as to only pant his name. Slowly did he fuck you through the onslaught, a measure of mercy on his part and of surrender in the seconds that followed, for his falling apart was hard and hot, pink and beautiful.
On his breathless suggestion, the afterglow was spent in Felix’s favourite way— in a hot bath of lavender-scented bubbles, where his hands explored your skin and swept away the defilement he would no doubt later, once again, inflict.
“Why did you come back so soon?” you asked, voice a tired whisper. Against the heat of his firm chest, there was no possible harm could come to you nor stress that could ail you. Felix was all that mattered.
“Told you. Wanted to surprise you.”
“At this hour?”
“Was the only flight I could get so soon. I needed to see you. To talk to you, face-to-face.”
“There wasn’t that much talking.”
“Yes, well. Some things can be said without words.” He kissed your shoulder. “I also didn’t like the way our last conversation went. And this isn’t me blaming you, I just… I could tell you were struggling. You needed more than me just calling. You needed me. I had to step up.”
“You’re insane.”
“You keep saying that. I don’t know if it’s a complaint or not.”
“It’s not.”
“Sure?”
“My boyfriend being so worried that he gets on the first flight back a month early? No matter the time or cost? Why would I complain about that?”
“Some people might think it was irrational.”
“Those people have never loved like we do.”
A gentle thumb and forefinger under your chin tilted your head up to where he could reach your lips, his soft browns glimmering a depth of devotion.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you more.”
He grimaced. “Thought we weren’t going to be one of those couples.”
“We’re not. We’re a couple all our own. We’re unique.”
“Isn't that just a polite way of saying we’re weird?”
“No. It’s a polite way of saying that if I were a robot, and you were an Alien, I’d totally fuck you.”
“Oh yeah?” Felix laughed, eyes alight.
“Yeah.”
“God, we’re weird.”
“No.” You kissed him gently. “We’re unique. That’s how we make this work. And it will work.”
Felix smiled warmly, his kind eyes and soft complexion once more committed to memory. This wasn’t the end, you knew, and yet you felt you could face whatever came next with more certainty than ever. He had stepped up for you.
Only right you do the same for him.
“I promise,” you whispered.
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yoongihan · 1 month
Text
You Left A Mark - LYB - OneShot
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pairing: felix x female reader
genre: smut, angst, fluff
romantic trope: soulmates (inspiration from this reel)
word count: 10k
rating: M for smut, a little language
warnings: cursing, penetrative sex (unprotected), kissing, cuddling, so much touching but it's FELIX, an excessive amount of felix admiration, mc is a reporter and i make up all of that because i know nothing, ages are never mentioned but felix is a few years younger than mc, mc is shorter than felix, silly use of skz song titles for the names of venues. i can't think of anything else that might need a headsup, please let me know if i've missed something.
a/n: fic #2 in skz as romantic tropes collab with @jl-micasea-fics. the soulmate trope i use is one i encountered here (it's a great fic and i'd highly recommend it) and i have no idea if it originated anywhere else. don't click if you don't want to be spoiled, my fic explains how it works about half way through.
--
It was, in appearance, just another work day like any other. 
In truth, just another work day tended to be not like any other work day as your job entailed reporting the news, which means you could be anywhere in the city in any kind of situation. Your job probably seems exciting to the regular person, but more often than not, it’s dealing with the news anchors’ larger than life egos and your producer not allowing you to cover much more than fluff pieces. 
You like fluff pieces, you do. The world is a big hot mess of negativity and darkness and reporting on a child who saved a hamster is definitely a small bright light in that void. But you also care about the dark things, the horrors big and small that need to be announced so that maybe someone can do something about them. 
But you aren’t there yet. According to your boss and her boss. You are still growing as a reporter, as a television personality (wtf?), and the latest showdown at the courthouse is to be covered by seasoned professionals.
Not little you and your four years of effort and hard work (not even counting the internship). 
But you digress. 
You’re in front of the newest coffeehouse in one of the smaller neighborhoods. Taste is the simple name and it looks more like a sleek, modern cocktail bar than a cozy coffee shop. Austere and intimidating if you aren’t someone who can look put together (which you often aren’t).
“So for those interested in a new type of caffeine experience,” You start to close your segment after speaking with the owner and manager. “This place is definitely for you. The coffee mocktails themselves would require multiple visits before you try them all. So come by and have a ‘Taste.’” You smile as brightly as you can despite the cringe-worthy pun, but before your cameraman (one of your favorite humans on the planet, Chan) can call cut, you are bowled into by someone running past. 
Part of your professional attire sometimes includes heels and as it is a particularly nice day that doesn’t require too much traversing, you wear heels. Which give no stability when being bumped by someone careening down the street. 
“Hey!” you hear Chan say but you can only concentrate on trying to keep upright (a losing battle) and you hold onto the microphone because compared to your body, the mic will cost more to replace.
But you don’t fall. You don’t feel the hard smack of the concrete against your skin. 
Hands are wrapped around your upper arms, grip firm and steady.
“You okay?” 
You try to regain your balance, find your footing in these insensible but pretty heels. “I’m okay, I'm fine.” You turn your head to see your would-be rescuer and have to blink a few times. 
Okay, freckles.
He smiles. This guy of probably mid-twenties, warm russet eyes, with black hair is smiling at you once you’re standing on your own merit. He releases you, but not without a quick pat as though to say ‘there you go, you got it’. 
“Thank you.”
His cheeks redden. “Oh, um, you’re welcome.” There’s an accent to his words, but you’re still rather gobsmacked by the entire exchange to place it.
“You alright?” Chan has moved to the both of you, eyes quickly inspecting you as though you might hide any injuries even though you didn’t fall. “It was some kid.”
There’s a deep sigh from your rescuer. “Yeah, he stole some of the chocolates we keep by the POS.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I…well, it’s just chocolate.” His smile is less brilliant and more sheepish. “He probably needed it.”
“Chocolate is not a necessity,” you reply immediately, but then pause and rethink your words.
“It might be.” He smiles again. “It’s pretty good chocolate.”
You shrug. “That’s fair…wait, we caught a crime on camera?” you ask Chan. “Amazing.” You brush yourself off even though you really aren’t covered in debris because again, you didn’t actually fall. But this guy’s attention is throwing you off just a bit.  
“I caught you nearly falling on your face,” Chan says before laughing at your glare. “I’ll edit it out.”
“Whatever,” You aren’t really annoyed because it’s Chan and you did nearly fall on your face. “Thank you, again, Mr….”
“I’m Felix,” your rescuer says. “I work here.” He reaches out to move a wayward piece of your hair out of your eyes, his finger brushing along your cheekbone. It makes you pause in your attempt at gratitude because you’re not really bothered. Like he’s a stranger and is touching you and you don’t mind? Because he has a nice, sweet face? “Sorry, you had some hair…”
You can sense Chan moving away, packing up the camera, leaving you relatively alone with this person. 
“It’s okay, it’s fine,” You stutter a little because you’re off your game. “Felix. At some point, I owe you a drink.” 
“Oh no, it’s not a–”
“I owe you a drink.” You smile, though it’s your television smile because you need to be professional even if you feel the least professional. “Even if it’s just a coffee.” You gesture to Taste. “If you want.”
The smile returns in full. “Yeah, okay. I’m here most days.” His lips part like he might say more, but he doesn’t. Nor do you. 
It’s nice just looking at him. The sun-warmed skin that contrasts with the inky black of his hair and eyebrows. He’s taller than you, but there’s no intimidation factor in the difference. He feels like someone you could meet anywhere and approach without worry.
You bet he gets great tips as a barista. Imagine walking in to get a coffee and that luminescent smile. 
You hear Chan call your name in an attempt to get you to head back to the studio. It shakes you out of the strange reverie this stunning, deep-voiced person has you in. 
“Well, I guess I’ll see you.”
He waves as you walk away before tucking his hands into his back pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet. It’s now that you notice that he wears the half-apron other employees were wearing, black pants and emerald shirt (a t-shirt, but like a really nice one). You glance back once you’re in the news van with Chan who chuckles.
“Isn’t he a bit young for you?”
You look back at the road and huff. “Aren’t you a little too interested?” You grab a granola bar out of your bag and take a bite, sighing happily. 
“Not at all. I haven’t seen you look at anyone like that though.”
“God, he’s cute, alright. And saved my job because I doubt I could keep reporting with a broken face.” 
“Methinks the lady doth protest too–”
“I can murder you, you know,” you interrupt. “No one would suspect because I know things. I’ve watched a lot of Criminal Minds.”
He presses his lips together, but is grinning. “Ooooo, scary.”
“Exactly.” You roll your eyes, your mind briefly leaving the cute barista and returning to all that is work. 
When you get home that night, he pops into your brain again. The pretty, voice as deep as the ocean, Felix. 
But not for the normal reasons one would ponder a good-looking acquaintance. 
He pops into your brain when you undress in your bathroom in order to take a much desired shower. In the corner of your eye, you see your reflection when you remove your shirt. There, in marked contrast to your skin, is the beginnings of the darkest bruise you’ve ever seen. 
“What the–” You turn to examine it better, spooked by it when you had no memory of bumping into anything that hard. Your other arm shows a similar discoloration, in a similar area. 
In fact, it almost looks like something left by a tight hand grip.
You roll your eyes at your own reflection. It hadn’t felt like he’d held you that hard, but you could bruise pretty easily, so of course, Felix, the fae-looking barista, grabbing you to keep from planting into the sidewalk would leave a mark. No big deal.
You pull your hair back as it is not hair-washing day, and then quickly use make-up remover on your face. You are stopped again by your reflection.
On your cheek, not as dark or as prominent, there is the slight darkening of another bruise.
You push a piece of your hair out of the way as you move closer to the mirror to see it clearer. As you do, it sparks the memory of Felix moving your hair and how you’d felt the brush of his finger keenly.
“But…like, a bruise?” Talking to your reflection isn’t a thing you do, but today really has been a weird day. You press it and wince. It does pinch a bit. Nothing worse than the time you ran into the sliding glass doors at your family’s home as a child. Nothing topped that fiasco and subsequent pain. 
Dismissing it as your body being more sensitive than usual, you hopped in the shower and soon went to bed after that. Your dreams are filled with a strange scenario of chasing after croissants and them being sucked into a hole in the sky. 
It’s two days later when you find yourself at Taste again. You aren’t sure if it’s just Felix who’s stuck in your brain, or the fact that the bruises you see when you wipe off your makeup and undress at night makes you remember meeting him; therefore, he’s just there, hanging around in your memory which is distracting. 
You tell yourself you just need some coffee that isn’t out of the ancient coffeemaker at the station. 
You can’t really buy him a drink unless you have his number or something after all.
The list of excuses and rationalizations you’re coming up with is concerning. 
You walk in and smile at the person behind the counter, trying to look for your rescuer without looking like you’re looking. The barista smiles at you as you place your order for a Fiery Redhead (salted caramel breve latte with a hint of cayenne) and you go to sit at an empty table by the window. You know you should ask if he’s working or coming in later, but you also just sort of want to not do much of anything for a few minutes. Work is very intense even on days you aren’t recording. News never stops whether it’s life-changing or just a cat stuck in a tree (life-changing for the cat), and you spend most of your off-work time catching up on stuff around your apartment or sleeping. 
You’re staring out the window, watching the cars pass, people drift by, and you aren’t sure where you go, but when you hear a slight noise, you jump and see a mug topped with curlicues of latte art. You look up the arm attached to see Felix smiling apologetically. 
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
You feel your skin heat at his attention on you. You’ve thought about him quite a bit in the last forty-eight hours, assuming that maybe your fascination is due to that imagination of yours. But no…he’s really that lovely to look at. 
The freckles are particularly still eye-catching. 
“I just zoned out.” 
He’s wearing the uniform, though no apron. 
“Are you on break?”
“Haven’t quite clocked in yet,” he swallows. “Saw you…kinda thought you might be here because of me.”
On anyone else that could sound arrogant, but his voice is incredibly gentle and the lilt up at the end of his words frames it hopeful; a tiny question. 
“I am. You thought right.” You gesture to the chair across from you. “Hard to buy you a drink when I don’t know how to get a hold of you, except show up creepily at your job.”
As he sits, he’s chuckling, tugging on the foodsafe opaque plastic gloves encasing his hands. You notice them and it triggers something in your brain, but before you can follow that path, he speaks:
“I figured with your connections being a reporter, you could find out everything about me in mere minutes.”
You smile. “I’m so flattered you think that I have really good connections.”
“You don’t?”
“I’m still kinda low in the newsroom hierarchy.” You rest your chin in your hand. “How long do you have before your shift?”
He glances up behind you, presumably at a clock. “Ten minutes.”
“Early.”
“I hate rushing if I can avoid it.” He looks back at you and you take a second to marvel at the rich brown of his eyes. 
He is stupid pretty. 
“So…” you begin, trying not to be too direct (hazards of the job). “Is barista-ing something you’ve done before here?”
He nods. “Yeah, though this is a lot fancier than where I was before.” He shrugs. “I'm in school, so it helps pay the bills. And I like serving people.”
“School? For what?” You thought he might be young, but how young?
“Culinary. Baking specifically.” He smiles, the warmth just lighting him up. 
“That’s so cool.” You lean closer. “I am a passable cook, like enough to follow a basic recipe and feed myself, maybe buy cookie batter on days I need a sweet, but that’s the extent. If a recipe says to fold in something, I run away in fear.” His answering chuckle warms you more than the latte (though it is very good), all the way to your toes. “Do you love it? Even though it’s school?”
The skin between his freckles turns pink. “Yeah…I enjoy it. Both learning the traditional rules, and getting to experiment.”
“Do you get to experiment here?” You point toward the shelves of pastries. You’d been tempted by at least three. Maybe you’ll give in before you leave. 
“A little. When he’s feeling generous and doesn’t think I’ll screw it up.”
That’s a story you want to hear, but you file it away for later. Maybe when you get him that drink. 
“What about you?” he asks, derailing your thoughts. “Always wanted to do the news?”
You straighten up and gesticulate aimlessly. “Kinda. I think I wanted to do more print journalism in the beginning. But you have to do both in school and I was good at speaking clearly and on the fly, so I stuck with broadcasting.”
“What do you like about it?” Now he rests his chin in his hand, winces before then straightening. The pained expression makes you want to reach out and check on him. You aren’t uncompassionate or anything, but the immediate concern for this near-stranger is unusual.
Maybe it’s because he looks like taking care of him would be nice. Like to curl up with him on the couch someday and watch a movie together. You bet his hair is soft and playing with it would be so nice. Maybe he’d look up at you with those big eyes and ask you for a kiss, his voice all rumbly and–
Uhhhh, maybe you should not fantasize like that. 
“It feels important. Even when perhaps it’s not. I get to meet people and learn things I wouldn’t in a ‘normal’ job or ‘normal’ life.” 
“Makes sense.” 
You watch him look back at the clock and then sigh.
“Work?”
“Work.” He opens his hand. “I’ll give you my number? If you still want to–”
“I do.” Maybe a little too eager. “I mean, you are under no obligation if you don’t want to.” You pull out your phone and unlock it before handing it over.
“I do.” He says it simply and you wonder if he’s mildly as fascinated by you as you are by him. “I do, too.” His nose scrunches up as he types in his number, and it’s adorable.
“Okay.” 
He hands you your phone back and smiles at you. “Okay then.” He starts to stand, pressing his hands on the table to aid him and he grimaces. “Ow.”
“You okay?” The concern, again, you feel is bigger than it should be, but that’s another thing you file away for the time being. “Did you hit your knee?”
“No, I…” He is looking at his hands then at you, and you feel like he’s searching for something as he gazes at you. “It’s nothing.”
You must come up short. 
“I better…” He jerks a thumb toward the coffee bar. “I’ll hear from you?”
“Yeah.” You are still intrigued and concerned and a whole lot of other things, so you just force a smile to your lips. “Have a good shift, Felix.”
“Thanks.” He walks over to the bar, grabbing an apron to tie around his hips (why does that emphasize his narrow frame so much and why does that affect you?) and greets the other barista. You look back out the window, taking another sip of your drink (it’s really very good, especially with the heat of the cayenne) and try not to look back at him. 
But you do. You watch him as he greets each customer, that smile bright like stars. You watch as he moves around with the other barista in the small space, like a choreographed dance for two; opening a cabinet for something, closing it with his hip or foot as he moves to the espresso machine, spinning the knob to steam the milk. 
He speaks with a customer as he makes their drink, laughing without slowing down his work. He sets the paper cup in front of them, showing off the latte art you think, before covering it with the plastic lid. The customer takes it, with a smile almost as brilliant as Felix’s. He waves goodbye before glancing over at you.
You smile, embarrassed at being caught staring, but his tiny grin is shy and cute, and he gets back to making the next drink. 
There’s a quick rush in the thirty minutes that you spend there. A queue of ten people, several who are in a hurry and speak with sharp, short words. 
One even berating the other barista for not inputting her order quickly enough.
Felix comes to the side of his coworker, speaking calmly to the customer; not smiling, but not frowning. 
You wish you could hear what he says, but the lowness of his voice makes that difficult. The perturbed customer doesn’t look too pleased, but does seem to back off. Felix makes her drink and sends her on her way. 
He walks back over to his colleague, eyes searching and you know, you just know that he’s checking in. Making sure. 
Caring.
You glance at the dregs of your latte, surprised at how much you feel you know this person. You don’t. You know you don’t, but there are things about him that feel familiar. That feel safe, like maybe instead you could curl up in his arms, he could play with your hair, you could ask to kiss him, taste those curved, pink lips and–
You stand up rather abruptly, taking your mug and setting it on the marked table for dishes.
“Bye!”
You turn to see him looking bewildered but bidding you a farewell. You think you smile, but you just nod and hurry away. 
Good thing there’s a bit of traffic on the way back to the station. You need a moment or ten to calm down. 
It’s a few days before you actually message Felix and make plans. Work is relentless as the local election is days away and both candidates for commissioner seem to believe that character attacks on the other is the best way to convince people to vote for you. 
There was almost a fist fight yesterday. You also forgot to eat, which you didn’t realize until breakfast the next day. Perhaps your stomach shrunk because you could only do a small yoghurt in wake of not eating for a day. Despite the printed expiration date, you think it might have been spoiling already. It tasted tangy.
As you get ready for your…you’re just gonna call it a date and not overthink about it…, you see the bruises and they seem darker which makes little sense to you. You’ve bumped them a few times and it hurt, but no more or less than a normal bruise.
The bruise on your face is darker too, but your foundation and concealer does a good job of lessening the contrast so most of the time it looks like an oddly placed shadow. 
But you feel like it’s a thing. Something you can’t quite figure out. And you will, once the election and campaign stuff is over and perhaps you’ll have a bit more free time. 
But tonight is a date. A something with Felix. Who you have texted a couple times beyond the mere matching of your schedules. His schooling is at night four times a week. You imagine working a shift then going to class must be exhausting. You spent your undergrad years in class and in the library for work study. Not on your feet for eight hours or more, serving person after person. 
Wow, you are creating a traumatic story for him. He might really love both. 
He is excessively positive in his messages. He diatribes one night about nailing baumkuchen (you have to google that to understand what it is and why it’s hard) finally in class. 
He’s really proud of that grade. And though you had nothing to do with it, you’re really proud of him too. 
Something about him is just inviting, the opening of a door and a wave to come in. 
You arrive at Back Door, a relatively less popular bar than Up All Night, which is where you would normally grab a drink after work with your colleagues if you were feeling social (which is about 50% of the time post-work). You’ve not been to Back Door yet, but just walking in makes you smile. Everything looks like a hotel lobby with big couches and large tables to stand at. The art on the walls is a mixture of traditional and modern. The red and black color scheme is daring.
Not a place to get cozy, but a place to make an impression. 
Do you want to make an impression on Felix? Maybe.
You walk to the bar, finding a spot in between well-dressed people. You wait your turn for one of the two bartenders to find you and as you often do, you watch people and imagine what their lives might be like. 
“Hey.”
You jump at his voice (how do you forget how freakin’ deep it is every time?) and then you get his laugh.
“I keep scaring you. Sorry.” He squeezes in next to you and you get a new image of him. Dressed in ripped black jeans and a pale pink button-down shirt with black tie loosened. 
He is…delectable.
You shake your head to his comment as well as the path your thoughts are going. 
“I just zone out a lot.”
He moves closer, his ear toward you so he can hear better. You repeat yourself and he nods before turning back so his eyes can look into yours. 
Damn, that’s powerful. 
“Where do you go?” he asks. “When you zone out?” 
Do you admit that you regularly think about people you don’t know and make up backstories for them? You think that maybe he won’t judge you too harshly.
“I–” You cut yourself off when he lifts his hand to try and get the bartender’s attention. He’d had on gloves the last time you saw him, but he doesn’t now.
And the insides of his hand is dark. Like a bruise covering the length of his index finger across the palm to his thumb. 
As though he’d grabbed something (someone) and bruised himself. 
You don’t think to check for consent, but grab his hand, peering at the marks then you take his other. It doesn’t register that he just lets you, not even saying a word about your impoliteness. 
“Felix,” you say slowly. “You…” You look up and he’s looking at your arms which are covered by three-quarter length sleeves. You’ve been intentional about not highlighting that you look like you’ve gone through a round with a MMA fighter. You nod at the question in his eyes. 
What’s the point of lying? And to lie to Felix feels beyond wrong.
“Let’s get that drink and talk, huh?” he offers, tugging away from your hold to wave down the bartender. Your brain feels like it’s frozen, like a computer that has glitched so badly no matter what key you press, it’s unresponsive.
“What do you like?” Felix asks you softly, which helps your brain function just a bit. The bartender is there as well, waiting.
“Whatever you’re having.”
He nods, seeming to know that you are processing intensely at the moment. A few seconds pass, you trying to logic why bruises on him and you mean something, but you’ve got nothing when he nudges you with his elbow and lifts his chin to indicate you both should find somewhere to sit. 
You follow him, blindly, as he weaves through the weekend crowd, finding a small table in a far corner where the music and talk is muted. He sits, laying the two wine glasses on the table. You scoot in across from him, staring at the wine wine ripple in the glass before settling. 
“Can I see?”
You meet his gaze and shrug a yes, knowing what he’s asking. You shove up one of your sleeves, inadvertently pressing the bruise which makes you inhale sharply. He leans forward, hand reaching out to hold your arm carefully. 
“Fuck. That’s dark.” He lightly rubs his thumb over it, gentle. “I’m sorry.”
“I wouldn’t have thought much about it,” you begin, feeling content with him touching you, even though he’s the one who left bruises. He’s warm, not just in temperature, but it’s like he emits a toasty energy that flows into you. It’s odd, but you like it. “Because I bruise pretty easily, and you did keep me from busting my face. But…” You touch the bruise on your cheek. “You barely touched me here.” 
He follows your motion and peers closer. You actually stare back into his eyes, sparkly as they are with the bar’s array of lights. 
“Fuck.”
His second cursing makes you smile even if you don’t understand why. Maybe it’s because his freckles and generally soft demeanor make him seem innocent; i.e. not someone going around using the f-word so easily. 
You’re also really enjoying the skin to skin contact. You weren’t even cold, but his touch feels secure, sheltering. Like you’re in an oversized armchair with a cup of tea, reading on a thunderstorm night. 
“Do you know what it is?” His demeanor makes you think that he knows more than you, and you have to admit, you’re bothered that you’re so clueless right now. You’re used to being the smarter person on a date. 
Which explains why you don’t date much and have been single for nearly two years now. 
“I…no. I didn’t realize you had them too.” You sigh, and trace the marks on his hand that isn’t holding you. You don’t question the intimacy as you’re pretty sure whatever is going on is not a normal interaction with a man you only barely know, even if he is pretty. “Work has been slammed…I was going to go to the doctor if they didn’t fade soon.”
“They won’t. I mean, not on their own.” He stares at the mark on your arm. “Not without me.”
It’s like he’s talking in riddles. “Felix. What do you know?”
He lets go and you shiver as though a cold front blew through the bar, at you specifically. He takes the wine glass and sips it, closing his eyes as though he’s savoring it. 
He must like wine because it seems like minutes upon minutes that he keeps his eyes closed.
“Look…” He opens his eyes and you are floored by how much pain echoes there. The same eyes that sparkled seconds ago. “You have questions and I think, think, I know the answers, but…fuck…this means–” He breaks off, dropping his head. 
Is he crying?
“Felix….” You reach out, burdened, and place your hand over his. He jolts at your touch, but doesn’t pull away. He slots his fingers in between yours. “Please tell me what’s wrong? Can I help?” 
“I need to go. I knew what it was. I just wanted it not to be true.” His voice cracks and he looks up, eyes welling. There’s a quiver in his lips, like maybe he wants to smile or maybe he wants to cry, or maybe it’s both. “I just need some time?” He stands up, leaving his glass and leaving your touch. 
“But…?” What the fuck is going on?
He’s next to you, leaning down so your faces are close. You catch your breath. 
“Soulmates. Look up soulmates.” He presses his mouth to your cheek before tearing away and disappearing in the ever-growing crowd. You stand up, to do something; call him back, chase after him…something. But he’s gone and you sit down again, staring at the two wine glasses. You take a sip of yours and grimace.
It just doesn’t taste quite right.
You take a cab home because you drink your wine, his, and order two cocktails (they all taste odd, but honestly it doesn’t matter by the time you get the first cocktail, you are such a lightweight). It’s dumb but you spend two hours at a bar, using Google on your phone. 
At a bar. On a Friday night.
You get approached at least three times by someone either intent on chatting you up, or getting your coveted spot at the table. You basically ignore these approaches because you are intent. 
Soulmates.
That’s what he’d said and though normally you would laugh derisively at the mere use of that term in anything other than some cliched romantic film, you find that the moment he said it, your heart felt like it was being squeezed in a tight grip.
So you search ‘soulmates’ which yields more links and pieces of information than you are willing to wade through. 
You type in ‘bruises soulmates’ and that narrows it way down.
When you touch the first time, it leaves a mark; something similar to a bruise, but far more distinct. This is your soulmate. 
“I met mine, because we ran into each other on the train. Literally. My hip is black and blue. How do I find them?”
The marks take hours to show up, so you have to retrace your steps to find them. Chances are they’re looking for you too. 
“I can’t eat any more. It tastes like licking the inside of a dumpster.”
Food and drink will lose its pleasurable taste. It’ll become disgusting, revolting. 
“I’ve sent out messages on all SNS. It’s been a week. The hospital keeps pumping fluids, but it’s not working. Someone please help me!”
The only way to survive is to be with your soulmate. Skin to skin contact for hours if you are sick or hurting. Not as long if it’s just daily need. You will no longer need food or drink. Water will be the only thing palatable.
You stumble out of the bar, Uber app open on your phone. The air outside is heavy from late summer humidity and it’s like you can’t catch your breath.
If you don’t find your soulmate, you will starve to death.
You can starve to death. You’re not even thirty years old yet, and death is now something more likely than ever.
You look at your arm, the sleeve still pushed up from earlier. 
He doesn’t have very big hands, you muse. The mark is actually lighter and you realize that the little amount of contact you had with him has already started to heal. 
Holy fuck.
Your Uber shows up and you practically throw yourself into the backseat as though someone nefarious is chasing you. 
“You alright?” the driver asks, glancing back. “You run here?”
You are panting, your breath short from the magnitude of what you’ve just found out. Part of your brain denies it all. Surely this is bullshit. Soulmates, touch, inevitable death for those who lose their person.
It can’t be true. 
But what you thought was just hormones when he touched you tonight; the warmth, the comfort, the irresistible draw…
You’ve dated. You’ve fucked. You’ve had men who looked great and those who looked less so. No one affects you the way the quiet-eyed, deep-voiced barista has in three encounters. 
You give the driver your address and force yourself to stop looking at your phone before you get more nauseated, and look out the window. 
You need to sleep before you can tackle whatever the fuck this is. 
– 
It strikes you two days later. You go through the weekend researching everything you can, or pointedly turning off your phone and your laptop in order to clean your apartment and reorganize your kitchen. 
You look at the set of pots that you got two years ago because you wanted nicer, matching ones and now, you aren’t going to need them.
You’d been able to stomach one egg this morning, the desire for food already waning. You wonder if going to get your favorite donuts would be good, if life-changing information warranted donuts.
It hits you then. 
Felix wants to be a baker. 
And he’s going to lose his sense of taste. 
You sink down to the floor of your kitchen with the weight of that revelation. You lean back against the lower cabinets and let that take hold.
By meeting you, Felix can’t pursue his dream. 
You barely know him, but you know enough to understand perhaps a tenth of the loss he must be feeling knowing that he’s going to lose what he wanted to do with his life. 
You did this. By nearly falling over, you have changed the direction of his life. 
You enjoy food, and the loss of it isn’t something you’re looking forward to, but it doesn’t change your job or your life. 
You cover your face when you realize that you’re crying. 
It’s your fault. 
You cry for longer than one would for a near-stranger before you force yourself back to your feet. You trudge toward your bedroom, seeking your phone that you’ve put on silent and plugged in. There are notifications for work, for social platforms, from your mom. 
You don’t check them, but you search out the chat between you and your…
Soulmate. 
<<I am so sorry. 
What else can you say? There is nothing you can do because unless every source you’ve found online about this phenomenon is wrong and lying, the ball is rolling and nothing can stop it. 
You set your phone back down, sitting on the edge of your bed. There’s a window across from you and the view is simply the brick building next to your apartment complex. There is nothing to really look at, but the simplicity of the brick, the gradient of burgundies and reds with beige caulk between is a lot easier to make sense of than anything else right now.
Your phone vibrates. 
>>It’s not your fault.
There’s hardly anything you can say. You can state that it is. It is your fault. Without touching you, he’d go on with his life, pursuing his dreams like everyone should get to.
&lt;<Regardless. I am. Very very sorry.
You don’t expect to hear from him. You set your phone aside, noticing that your hands are shaking. You feel exhausted, like the crying you’ve indulged in has drained you. Maybe you’re coming down with something. 
Or maybe it’s something else. Something soulmate.
>>Can I come by?
You type out yes before you think through it fully. You send him your address and close your phone before getting back up to go to the bathroom and look at yourself.
Maybe it’s silly to make sure you don’t look like someone who has fought dust bunnies and lost, but you think that showering wouldn’t be amiss. 
It’s a half hour later when there's a knock on your door. You’ve already buzzed him in, so it’s not that you’re unprepared to see him, but really, how would anyone be able to prepare for the groveling you want to do when you see him. 
He stands in your doorway, eyes wide and you chastise yourself for changing because he obviously had no qualms, dressed in sweatpants, and a creased t-shirt. He looks terribly soft with rumpled hair, light wrinkles on his cheek from sleeping. 
There are dark smudges of weariness under his eyes. 
“I’m so–” you begin because surely apologizing profusely will relieve a little of the guilt you feel. He doesn’t let you finish, but strides in and wraps his arms around you. He’s got several inches of height on you (lack of heels) and rests his chin on top of your head. He closes the door with his foot, falling back on it, his hold on you firm. 
“You don’t need to say you’re sorry,” he whispers. “It’s not your fault.”
“Kind of is. If we’d never touched…” The heat of him warms you through, as though you were icy but didn’t know it until touching him. 
It’s uncanny, how much better you feel just by being in his arms. Soulmate or not, you think that anyone would be better receiving a hug from him.
“I could have let you fall. So I’m just as responsible.”
You feel your eyes well up, your throat constrict with grief. “But you were just being nice. That’s all. And this is your reward.” You bury your face into his shoulder, noting how bony he is and how nice he smells, like cookies. “I’m so so fucking sorry.”
You’re crying into his shirt and it’s embarrassing, but you can’t seem to stop. You feel his hand stroke your back, soothing. 
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
There’s a rumble against you, he’s chuckling. You lift your head to look up at him. He smiles sadly, releasing his hold to wipe under your eyes. 
“You’re stubborn.”
“And you’re too nice. I would fix it, if I could. I would give you back–” He kisses you. 
Oh. My. God.
If touching him casually or even being in his arms is comforting, kissing him is that feeling amped up to eleven. You actually feel light-headed and dizzy like you’re back at the bar drinking too much wine. 
He presses one small kiss to the corner of your lips before drawing away. You whimper to lose that caress, but he keeps his arms around you like he knows you need it. He rests his head on the door, eyes fixed on you. 
“Wow,” you breathe. 
There’s a slight quirk of his lips, like he wants to laugh, but won’t at the moment. 
You realize both of you are still standing in your little foyer so you draw away, but his hands tighten. 
“I was just…just gonna invite you in.”
“That’s okay. I just…” He takes a deep breath. “Don’t let go?” You peer at him, seeing that the dark under his eyes has already lessened.
You nod, adjusting so your hand encloses around his. You lead him into your apartment, watch him as he looks around, eyes still wide, but seemingly less panicked now. You sit on your two person couch that is opposite your television. He sits next to you, looking at your bookshelves, covered in photo frames, books, knick-knacks from places you’ve gotten to go for work. 
“I have to ask,” you say, making him look over at you. “What are you thinking? Right now?”
“I…I feel a little out of place,” he replies, glancing down at your clasped hands. “You have a real job and a nice place and I’m just a barista, trying to get a certificate.” The mention of his schooling makes you tighten your grip and he squeezes back, still not looking at you. “Makes me wonder if the universe screwed up.”
“I don’t think that’s fair.”
He looks up then. 
“You are this beautiful, ridiculously kind human who smiles like the sun and because of me, lost your dream and you’re still here. You should hate me.”
He covers your mouth with his untethered hand. “I don’t. I couldn’t.” His hand drifts to cup your cheek. “I’m not mad at you.” He takes another deep breath. “I’m mad at the fallout. Like…it sucks.” He nods. “It really does. That’s why I just needed some time.”
“I’m sorry. I only gave you like two days.”
His thumb runs over your lower lip and you feel like you’re melting. 
“I wanted to see you. I can already tell that I need to…” He blushes. “I need to touch you.”
“You look less drained.” You touched his heated cheek. “I felt out of it, too.”
“Me too.” He leans in, face close, watching you. “I didn’t ask. About kissing you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Weird circumstances.” You hope your smile does half of what his smile does for you. “You’re stuck with me unless you want to starve to death.”
He half-grins, his hand still on your face, tracing along your nose. “It’s pretty dramatic, right?”
“It really is.” 
“You don’t mind?” 
“What?”
“Being stuck with me?”
“No.” You’re louder than you meant to be. He blinks at the emphasis. “I mean, I don’t know you all that well, but what I do know…” You take his hand from your face, holding it as tight as the other hand. “I like.”
He nods. “Can we…” He takes a breath. “Can we touch more?”
It is weird and you both laugh at the awkward and latent innuendo. 
“Like nothing…” He stops talking, expression helpless. You just nod.
He watches as you let go of his hand to get close. His dark eyes seem darker when you pause to figure out how exactly you plan to touch him. 
“Here.” He pulls you in, aligning you to his chest, your back resting against him, his arms around you, his chin coming to sit on your shoulder. “The longer we touch, those bruises will fade.”
You lift his hands so you can see that his marks are lighter since you saw them Friday night. He presses his face where your shoulder meets your neck. It tickles, but you don’t shy away.
“I feel like we’ve gone from acquaintances to whatever this is really quick.” It’s an obvious statement, a pointless one, but things are progressing at an exponential speed that you need to voice it, if only to remind yourself and him that it’s real. 
“It’s okay, though?” he asks softly. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but even beyond the need to touch you, I want to.” His chin rests on your shoulder again.
“You do?”
You can hear the smile in his voice, “I thought you were pretty when you came in for the interview. I think I would have tried to talk to you if you ever came back, even without the rest of it.” 
You’re still playing with his hands, absorbing his words. 
“This whole thing is weird.” 
“Yeah.”
“Did you know about soulmates before?”
You feel his chin as he nods. “My grandmother’s second husband and her. My grandfather died and at age sixty-three or something, my grandmother bumped into this man at her favorite bakery. Bruises and everything. She told me the story when I was about ten, when they decided to get married. No one believed her, but I did. It just made sense when you saw them together. But it’s rare. Like…there are accounts of it all over the world, but not a high percentage.” He noses your ear. “What did you find out? You researched, didn’t you?”
“If you call googling for too many hours, proper research.” Being in his arms is slowly making you feel less weary and calmer. You’re still sad and worried, but your body feels less like debilitated frozen tundra. “I guess we’re lucky that it wasn’t hard to know who it was. There are stories…of people…” You stop talking, overwhelmed by the fact that this could have gone so badly. “I’m glad I knew it was you immediately. Like I meet so many random people and I–”  
“Shhh, it’s okay.”
You’re both quiet for several minutes. You’ve stopped playing with his hands and he’s just wrapped around you even more snugly. 
“How do we do this?”
“Well, I’m going to quit school tomorrow. The semester is nearly over and I haven’t paid for next semester yet, so that’s money saved.”
“It sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.” His hand slips under your shirt and you tremble at the energy pulse that such a slight touch does to you. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” You ponder for a second. “Do we need to do this every day?”
“I think it’s encouraged, and necessary. Like to go too long not in contact is…well, I felt like a zombie until I held you.”
“I hope you don’t need alone time.”
He chuckles. “Not too much. You?”
“Some.” That’ll be an adjustment. Someone wanting to spend hours with you. More than just the occasional meet-up with a friend. “Do…you…god, this is gets more and more bizarre…should you move in with me?”
The gentle motion of his hand stills. “Would you…would that be okay?”
“I mean, we should probably find a place together, but I still have a few months left on my lease. You?”
He sits up and you move away, though you notice his hand stays on your skin, following as you adjust to face him. 
“I’m rooming with some guys. Month to month.” His eyes are wide. “Really?”
“I mean…will it make it easier?”
He chuckles. “I have a twin bed.”
“Mine’s a queen.”
“You really are so much more of an adult than me.”
You bat at his arm. “Stop saying that. You aren’t any less. You work and go…went to school.”
“Yeah.” He stares at you for a few seconds. “You’re willing to just let me move in?”
“I mean, we can have sleepovers if that’s easier.”
He laughs, covering his face with his hands for a second before making sure he’s still touching you with a hand on your knee. “I don’t have a lot of stuff. My baking stuff…that I guess I need to sell.” 
You lace your fingers with his. “I’m–”
“You don’t need to say it.” He shrugs. “It just is what it is. Anyway, clothes, not a lot. I have my computer and that’s kinda…” He looks around. “Do you have another bedroom?”
“Yeah. It’s kind of a makeshift office/storage unit right now.” You make a face. “I should probably get rid of some of it. Do you have a big computer?”
He shrugs again. “I built it. I game and fiddle with computers in my free time.”
You move closer. “How are you that interesting? It’s not fair. You’re ridiculously pretty, you bake, and you do computery things?”
His ears, cheeks and neck all flush. “It’s not that interesting…”
“It is to me,” You point at him with your connected hands. “I just do the news stuff.”
“And zone out.”
You laugh. “And zone out. Regularly.”
He brings you back to rest against his chest, a deep sigh releasing. “So…I guess…we’re moving in together?”
You aren’t horribly impulsive usually. In big things you try to think logically and rationally. But that seems to have been tossed aside currently. 
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”
You feel his lips on your cheek. 
It’s a month later, after you’ve emptied out the second bedroom with as much as you can let go off, Felix moves in with his stuff (the computer set-up reminds you of like the command bridge in Star Trek or something), and you’ve learned how to sleep in bed with a person you aren’t actually sleeping with (despite the touch thing, both of you seem to avoid talking about anything past necessary touch).
The progression the soulmate-ness has had is different for both of you. You lost your taste for food and drink well before he did. It’s nearly three weeks to the day you two met that he can’t eat one of his galettes because it tastes like the way wet dog smells.
He cries in your arms. 
You handled working over eight hours a day as well as you always have, but if it moved to twelve hours, you found Felix at the apartment, on the couch or bed, looking more fragile and delicate than normal. The toll your separation took on his body was far worse than the toll on your body. 
It took some adapting and adjusting; trial and error to see what worked for the both of you. If it was going to be a long day, Felix would leave work and come find you at the station, or you’d come to him just to sit and hold hands for a half hour before one of you had to go. It helped. 
For the first time since being on your own, you have to worry about someone else and yes, at times, it can be frustrating; overall, it’s nice. It’s nice to come home to someone. 
“I can’t do it,” Felix comes in late from the coffeehouse. You came home early and are spending your time trying to figure out what one does with a kitchen and all that cabinet space if one no longer eats. 
“Can’t do it?”
He doesn’t stop in his path, dropping his bag on the ground as he toes off his shoes. You barely can say much else before he’s wrapped around you in what has become a regular habit of his. In your arms the moment you’re both home. 
You can’t complain even if it thwarts your thought process about the kitchen. 
“The coffee smell is awful,” he mutters into your hair. “Like, I thought not tasting it would be okay, but the smell is just as bad. All day, every day…” he sighs. “I almost quit.”
“Maybe you should. I make enough for you to take a break for a little bit.”
“I’m not…” He sighs again. “I don’t like that. It’s your money.”
“And therefore I can help you out.” You rub up and down his back, soothing him. “You haven’t had much time to figure out a new plan.”
He moves so his face is in the crook of your neck, nuzzling. Normally you giggle because it tickles, but lately when his lips are anywhere near you, it’s like every nerve you have is on high alert. 
“I think I’m avoiding it.”
“That’s okay too.” You hurry to continue when you feel his body stiffen as though he wants to argue with you. “For now. It’s a lot.”
He lifts his head, but not before brushing a soft kiss on your neck which sends you down a path that you’ve tried to avoid thinking about with Felix in mind. A path that includes not only sleeping in your bed. 
“I…” He watches you for a few seconds and you can feel your face heating with his scrutiny. “I’m gonna game for a bit.” He then sees that you have all the plates and cups and paraphernalia on the counters. “Unless you need a hand?”
“Go shoot something digitally. I’m good.”
He smiles that soft smile of his. The one that makes you want to cozy up with him on the couch, his head in your lap and mindlessly watch a movie. 
“Sure?”
You nod, and start to move back to the kitchen problem when he drops another kiss, this time on your cheek. You should be getting used to this, and perhaps you are, but it still floors you. The feel of him, the subsequent burst of soulmate voltage that it emits. 
He doesn’t seem to notice that every time he kisses you, your brain pauses like a video buffering. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe kissing you doesn’t do much more than just heal in the soulmate way. 
He hasn’t kissed you on the lips since that first time. You want him too. You’ve thought about it way too much, even when you’re supposed to be working. 
You should say something. You should kiss him, and often. But you hold back. You don’t know why. 
He’s had so much of his life uprooted because of you, you don’t want to add the burden of your sexual wants onto his plate. 
He shuffles off to the second bedroom and you eventually go back to working on the kitchen. 
He calls your name about an hour later, after you have given up on the dusting because it’s too much, and have ended up on the couch, looking through your SNS feed to find that there isn’t much new in the world.
“Hmm?”
“I think…I think I had an idea.”
You get up and wander over to that room, more Felix’s than yours now. You stand in the doorway, eyes adjusting to the darkness because there’s only a lamp that he keeps on by his set-up. 
He wheels around in his ergonomic chair. 
“What’s your idea?”
“One of my friends,” He waves toward his screen, “Asked me a question about what to add to his computer to boost its…” He chuckles immediately when you furrow your brow. “You don’t care about that.”
“I will attempt to understand it?”
“Nevermind.” He reaches out his hands toward you and you walk in, suspicious. He latches on and pulls you into his lap, which just makes you freeze even more than the nightly cuddles. “I gave him about three different options and he asked if I’d do it for him. He’d pay me.” He cradles your face in his hands. “He’d pay me.”
“Well, that’s nice.”
“I mean…maybe that’s it. I could fix or enhance, I guess, computers. I know too much about it for just fiddling with my own.” He trails his fingers down to your neck and you tremble. “Maybe this is what I should do.”
Even in the dim light, you can see how bright his eyes are. It reminds you of when you met him, before everything changed.
“If you want. I imagine you probably do know more than the average person. I’ve heard you ramble enough to your friends on that thing.” You smile even if the heat of his legs is burning you in the best way. “Will it make you happy?”
His infectious joy fades a little. “It might.” With his finger, he draws an amorphous shape on your skin. “I think it might.”
“Then you should do it.” You pat his shoulders, getting ready to remove yourself from him because being on his lap, facing him, being so close is making you want more than you think either of you are ready for. 
His hands slip to your waist to keep you from leaving. 
“Felix, what are you–?”
“You make me happy, you know that, right? Being here with you, coming home to you or vice versa makes me happy.” His gaze is zeroed in on you, and it’s a lot. Having his focus.
“You don’t have to say stuff like that.”
He adjusts you so you’re nearer, his hands clasped at the small of your back. “I’m not just saying that. I mean it.” His lips turn down in concern. “Aren’t you? Happy?”
“With you? God, yes.” Sometimes with him, you do this. You say things before thinking it through. “Even when you hog the covers.”
He looks a bit sheepish, but doesn’t apologize. 
“But my life didn’t derail because you entered it.”
He touches his nose to yours. “Mine didn’t either. It just changed direction. Maybe a little more dramatically than yours.” He purses his lips in thought. “I only worry about the job stuff because well…I want to work in something I like.”
“Of course you do.” You comb back his hair, longer than when you met him; shaggy and probably needs a cut, but you really like it. “If you want to do this, I think you should.”
“It might take a while for me to make much.”
You point at yourself. “Do I look worried?”
He smiles, teeth flashing, eye crinkles, and your heart flutters. 
“You’re so pretty,” you whisper, tracing the curves of his smile and cheeks. His lips part at the compliment, and your finger slides to his teeth. “I…uh, sorry.”
He kisses the tip of your finger to reassure you. You swallow your more lustful feelings and smile. 
“You better get back to your friends.” You try to stand up, but his arms tighten. “I should…go.”
“Why?” he asks softly. “Why can’t you stay right here? I want you to.”
“You do?”
He says your name in the same whisper and kisses you reverently. You dissolve into him, scooting closer so you can embrace him. There’s a soft groan, and it’s not from you.
“Am I too heavy?” you ask, breaking the kiss. He pouts at you and shakes his head. 
“It’s…it’s not that.” 
It takes you a second and your eyes widen before you look down. 
“Oh.”
He chuckles. “You haven’t noticed?”
“Well, I mean, in the morning, but that’s like…all guys.” His cheeks turn pink as you continue. “I…I wasn’t assuming that it had to do with me.”
“You can assume.”
You stare breathlessly at him. 
“If you want, I mean.” His eyes dart away from yours. “If I’m the only one turned on here, you can pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“Just because it’s not as obvious doesn’t mean I’m not.” 
You feel him raise his head and meet your gaze. If he can tell your face is hot in the shadowy room, he makes no mention of it.
“Yeah?”
You nod before hearing some tinny voices coming from his headset. “Your friends.” You nod again toward his computer screen. “Your game.” You don’t even try to move out of his hold, but his arm wraps around you so you’re nearly chest to chest.
“Don’t move.” He grabs his headset from around his neck and slips it on, pressing a button on the side. “Guys…something’s come up. Min…I’ll come by tomorrow with a better graphics card and install it for you.” He presses the same button amid all the protests you hear, and takes the headset off. He tosses it on his computer desk before returning to hold you, with one minor adjustment. 
One hand slides up the back of your top, searing. He watches your face, intent. You tug at the collar of his shirt, and he stands up gingerly, letting you slide down until your feet touch the floor. He pulls off his shirt before taking your hands in his to bring them to his chest and arms. 
“I didn’t know,” he says as you outline the planes and facets with your fingers. 
“Didn’t know?”
He dips his head so you have to look up into his eyes, away from his beautiful skin. “Didn’t know you thought about me like that.”
“How could I not?” You let your hands trail up his sides to his neck and then to his face. “You are beautiful, both inside and out, Lee Felix.”
He doesn’t answer but kisses you with none of the former softness or gentleness. His hands are gripping your arms, directing you backwards out of the room and toward the bedroom. All of your kisses have been chaste, as though the crossing into using tongue would mean something else.
Perhaps it did. Perhaps it’s not just about a mutual need to live, a mutual admiration, though that’s all true. Perhaps being soulmates is just the beginning of having a partner. In everything.
You feel the bed at the back of your legs, unaware that you’ve traveled that much of the apartment because Felix might be good at gaming, but he’s exceptionally good at kissing. It’s all you can do to hold on as he consumes you, tongue stroking yours, teeth nibbling. You fall back on the bed, and he follows, climbing on top of you, mouth still seeking yours. His hands have slid under your top, mapping out your shape with fervor. 
The calm and quiet of him has broken. 
He draws away to look down at you, panting. “Okay?”
“Yes, so much,” you answer breathlessly. He smirks and peels off your shirt before sitting and undoing his pants. “Hey.” 
He pauses and glances at you. You can see his hands trembling. 
“We don’t have to rush.”
“I know. I know, but I…” He leans to kiss your jaw. “I want you so much.” He slips a finger under your bra strap and slides it down your shoulder. “Sleeping next to you is both wonderful and fuckin’ torture.” 
His grin when you laugh only lasts a second before he pulls you close and on top of him. You work his pants off, trying not to get sidetracked by his undoing of your bra and ensuing caresses. It takes a few minutes, both of you distracting the other in the process, but eventually, gloriously, the clothing is gone and you’re both looking at each other in awe. 
Beautiful. Inside and out. 
“C’mere,” his voice drops to a decibel you aren’t sure anyone else can hear (you don’t want them too because he’s your soulmate and you are so damn grateful). He places soft kisses all over your face, making you giggle as he props up pillows at your back. “We’ve never talked about past relationships.”
“Oh. I mean…” You twist your lips thinking about your last date let alone last relationship. “I haven’t…work kinda replaced everything else, you know? I’m clean…it’s been at least a year.”
“Six months. Had to move away.” He eases in between your legs, hands rubbing your thighs almost carelessly. “Clean too.” He leans down, face inches away and those perfect freckles blurring together. 
“Was it serious?”
“I think it could have been,” he says honestly. “You?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been serious about someone till you. Even before I saw the bruises,” You run your hands up his arms, his muscles taut from holding himself up. “You stuck in my mind. Chan teased me about it.” 
He grins before slipping one hand down your chest, your stomach and farther down… “You weren’t kidding about being turned on, were you?”
You half-heartedly slap his shoulder because one, it’s more than obvious and two, his tender exploration of you is dizzying. The soulmate energy, with no clothing to bar skin to skin contact, feels like you’ve laid down in a meadow on a warm day; not too hot, no bugs, no pollen, nothing but heat and light and tranquility. 
Then his fingers lightly touch your clit and the tranquility liquifies into heat and lust and want. 
“There, huh?” The teasing, soft but dark, makes you want to say something snarky, but he’s kissing you, his fingers circling until you're gasping against his mouth. 
“Lix, please,” you whine. His lips leave yours before he pushes in. “Oh god.”
As with everything, the soulmate need for touch just amplifies everything; how he feels sliding in, each thrust, the grazing of your g-spot. It’s a million times more and when you break, and feel him break; it’s not surprising that for a few seconds you aren’t sure where you are. 
Then the puffs of his shortened breath on your skin, the length of his body covering yours, one hand trailing up and down your arm. 
“You back?” he asks, voice gruff. 
“I think so.”
He lifts his head, eyes at half-mast, smile sleepy and well-contented. “We should do that again…often.”
You roll your eyes, a grin twitching at the corner of your lips. He kisses you, open-mouthed, but delicate. 
“I am really really glad you caught me that day.”
He stares down at you, eyes fond. “I’m glad you caught me too.”
--
a/n #2 - the coffee drink, fiery redhead, is not mine, but created by a coffeehouse in my parents' town. i love it, and make it at home now.
--
(c) yoongihan 2024. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.
402 notes · View notes
linos-luna · 3 months
Text
Toxic ❣️🥀
Felix x Fem!Reader
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Warnings: SMUT, Jealous, Oral, Fingering
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As tough as you may act, you weren’t exactly the most confident. You’ve had boys reject you and an ex cheat on you. You were sure that your current boyfriend wouldn’t cheat or leave but at the same time, you worried. What if he found someone prettier? Someone better?
Your boyfriend is cute and it’s no wonder that other girls would like him. You tried to not let it get to you…
It was something small. Perhaps not even a big deal but I bugged you.
You had gone with Felix to get his hair cut. It was a mundane every other monthly occurrence, but today was different. Today it was a woman cutting his hair. Normally it wouldn’t bother you but this was different. She was definitely being flirty.
As she cut his hair, she would do little things like rub his back and shoulders. She would laugh a little too much at his jokes and openly called him cute! You’d be glaring at her from the waiting area but it seemed that she didn’t care. Felix was just as nice to her. Yeah it’s his personality to be friendly but what if… what if he liked her?
She’s small and cutesy. She’s pretty and giggly. You felt she was everything you weren’t. You felt like she’s a solid 9/10 while in this moment you’re a 2. Of course he’d like her more!
You were snapped out of your thoughts when Felix suddenly appeared in front of you. He startled you actually.
“Sorry noona.” Felix laughed nervously. “Do you like my hair? It’s a little shorter than I wanted but it’s okay right?”
“Looks great, baby.” You said with a smile while standing. “Let’s go home so I can make dinner.”
Felix nodded and went back to pay at the counter. As the woman who cut his hair rung him up, you noticed that she slipped him a piece of paper. This annoyed you and you followed your boyfriend to the car.
The ride was silent. You said nothing and while driving, Felix could sense something was off. He just wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk about it. It wasn’t until you were parked that you broke the silence.
“Baby…” you spoke up quietly. “What did she give you when we left…?”
Your boyfriend turned off the car before looking at you a bit worried. He reached into his pocket and handed it to you. Exactly as you thought, it was her number.
“I guess she gave me her number.” He chuckled awkwardly.
You weren’t sure what to say, only ripping the small paper in pieces before shoving them in your pocket and getting out of the car, slamming the door behind you.
“Noona?” Felix got out and followed after you as you stomped inside to the bedroom. “What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t like her talking to you like that…”
“Noona—” He sighed.
“And you let her!”
“It’s not like that…” Felix frowned, confused by your sudden outburst.
“I know, I know!” You groaned while rubbing your forehead, realizing how toxic you sounded. It’s just—… I don’t—… you’re my baby boy! Not hers!”
“Of course I’m yours.” Felix said with a smile as you were hugging yourself. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
You felt like shit. Sitting on the edge of the bed and continued hugging yourself uncomfortably, unable to believe how toxic you sounded.
Felix pouted and got on his knees in front of you, putting his arms on your lap and looking at you with those adorable eyes. “Don’t be sad.”
Smiling a bit, you brushed your fingers through his hair. As innocent as he looked, you could feel his hand feeling up your thigh. He didn’t even break eye contact as he rubbed your inner thighs, ever so light brushing over your clothed crotch.
“Y-You want something, baby?” You voice broke as he palmed over the area.
“Mmhm.” He nodded. “I wanna show noona how much I love her.”
The more he touched your clothed area, the more wet and uncomfortable your underwear was getting. Normally, you were the one giving and taking care of him, so this was a little different.
After giving him the okay, Felix got right to removing your pants and leaning in to kiss you over your cute pink panties. You leaned back a little, leaning on your arms while holding back some whimpers.
“You think I’d ever leave you?” He giggled while slipping your underwear off and rubbing his fingers along your folds. “I would never…”
You covered your mouth to hold back the moans as he rubbed at your sensitive clit. Your boyfriend moved your legs on his shoulders, having you lay back on your elbows.
He didn’t give you much time to adjust before kissing your sensitive cunt. You threw your head back and let out your suppressed moans.
“I’d never leave you, noona—” he said briefly before going back to eating you out.
“Fuck—! Agh—! F—fu—” There was no volume control. Felix knew just how sensitive your cunt was, this had your eyes rolled back and back arched.
“Oh wow noona…” He added, his mouth still pressed against your cunt. “What filthy sounds you make.”
With your eyes shut, breathy moans escaped your lips as you bucked your hips slightly, only for Felix to grip them tight.
Your boyfriend replaced his mouth by inserting two fingers, making you cry out as he kissed along your hips and waist.
“B-baby~” you moaned while laying on your back. “A-agh! L-Lixie—”
“Hm? What’s wrong?” Felix smirked as thrusted his fingers slowly in and out. He went deep to hear your whimpers. He then lifted your shirt to kiss your stomach.
You couldn’t really think straight as you were lost in pleasure and pushed your bra up for him. He wasted no time in kissing and nipping at your soft skin. It drove you nuts and it was clear that you were close to releasing.
“Cum on my fingers, noona.”
You came as he curled his fingers and hit the spot one more time. You practically went cross eyed as you panted, trying to catch your breath.
Felix was pretty satisfied and put his fingers in your mouth. “Clean my fingers, noona.”
Almost mindlessly, you sucked your essence off of them. He pet your hair and sighed.
“I would never leave you, y/n.”
429 notes · View notes
atinyniki · 3 months
Text
i ruined it...
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group: stray kids !
pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff if you squint
warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, almost breakup, y/n doesnt think felix loves her, felix is referred to as lix, felix neglects y/n bc of his job, felix misses their two year anniversary dinner, felix has trouble breathing in the scene, felix cries a lot, proposals, promise rings, insecurities, felix has been broken up with a lot bc of this, y/ns fav flowers are peonies, fighting
authors note: i cried. i dont even know why this came to mind??? but it did !!! so enjoy the angst :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)
wc: 2232
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“i’m sorry”
“sorry isn’t going to cut it anymore, felix. you’ve said it so much i don’t think you mean it anymore.”, you bite back harshly.
you’re normally understanding of felix’s job. it regularly requires him to stay overtime and keeps him very busy, but he’s missed too many of your activities.
he missed ice skating, your birthday, at least ten dates, but now he’s missed your anniversary. two years that you’ve been together, yet it’s like you don’t even see the boy anymore.
“what…?”
“it’s always ‘sorry’. if you were really sorry, maybe you would’ve skipped dinner with the boys. you could’ve come home… to me…”, your voice falters at the last two words, cracking with raw emotion.
it’s not fair to you anymore, nor is it to him. he can’t leave group activities or basically anything work related, even when it’s an emergency. if no one’s in danger, then there’s no chance he can leave.
“don’t you ever want to see me…?”
his face contorts into an expression of disgust. not with you, but with himself. his tears finally drip over his lashline, eyes red and burning. the tears are continuous now, completely unable to stop.
“i do… i do want to see you… i miss you so much, y/n.”
you scoff, “don’t lie to me, felix.”
he opens his mouth to say something back, but only a squeak comes out. “do you still love me…?”
“i love you to the ends of the earth… i promise.”
“then why don’t you ever show it? i don’t even know if i believe you anymore.”
he clamps a hand over his mouth, not out of surprise, but to suppress his sobs. he continues hiccupping, but clutches his mouth harder, not wanting to make too much noise.
he tilts his head down slightly so you won’t be able to see the painful look on his face. he tries to pull through, knowing that your pain must be much worse than this.
the sight breaks your heart.
“take your hand off your mouth. you won’t be able to breathe”
he complies, quickly wiping his tears and taking long breaths. “please- please believe m-me. i really do love you. i’m so sorry.”
he says it again, and you look into his eyes. you can see the pain in there, causing your heart to crack even more. you know he’s dealing with a lot right now, but so are you.
and now you need space. time to think about yourself, and time to think about if this relationship is really worth it anymore.
“i swear, i mean it, y/n.”
“you’re the one ruining this. this isn’t fair at all, felix. i love you, but i don’t think you love me the same way i love you. you’re not making an effort in anything. i don’t know if this is going to work anymore if it stays like this.”
silence.
“i need space.”
“i can give you that.”
“i don’t think this relationship is good for either one of us right now. ill come back when im ready.”
he nods in understanding, but his eyes are blown wide. the second you leave the room, he starts sobbing again.
no, not sobbing. wailing.
there’s nothing else he can do. this truly might be the end of what he hoped would be forever. 
he hurt you. he hurt you and that hurts him. your pain is his pain, but he knows you have it worse. if anything, he deserves this pain. you’ve had to bear this pain for months.
it’s his fault, he knows it. everything’s falling apart because of him, like it always does. everything’s ruined. it will end like it always does. 
just felix, alone.
someone else will come along, and he’ll break them too. it’s happened time and time again, and he’s finally given up.
it’s you he wants to spend the rest of his life with. it has to be you. no one else has made him feel this way, not once.
what’s worse is that you’re truly considering breaking up. ending it all because of another stupid thing felix did.
and for this, he will never forgive himself.
he’s still crying, just as loud as before, but now snuggled up into the couch. it smells like you, he realizes. maybe that’s why he’s getting so emotional.
he plays with the promise ring on his finger, crying even more now. maybe he won’t need it anymore after this.
you start packing, taking a good amount of clothes and stuffing them in your suitcase. you’ll have enough space for everything, you’re sure.
you grab one of your favorite sweaters from the closet, it has an adorable baby chick embroidered onto it. you stare at it again, but then put it back. it reminds you too much of him. 
you make your way to the bathroom, placing your hand on the counter while you open the drawers to check for any jewelry, when you hear a clink.
you place your hand down on the marble again.
clink.
you look down at your ring finger, a singular tear leaving your eye. you remember when felix got down on one knee on your one year anniversary. it was too early for a proposal, so you freaked out, but he calmed you down and opened the box.
a promise ring. a simple band to symbolize eternity. an eternity you believed you’d spend with felix. you’re scared that eternity doesn’t exist anymore, as much as you want it to.
you don’t know if he cares. if he cares about what you have. if he cares about you. 
you remove the band from your finger, shaky hands placing it down onto the counter. you observe the thin tan line it’s made, has it truly been that long?
when did everything change…?
you look for the box that felix gave it to you in. you’ve never taken it off since you got it.
you check in your jewelry drawer, but it’s not there. so you check in his.
there it is. a navy blue box with gold accents on the edges. you smile sadly, crying a little more when you truly think about your circumstances.
you grab the ring from the countertop and flip open the box.
your heart stops.
it’s supposed to be empty.
why isn’t it empty?
there’s a gorgeous gold band on the inside, small peonies engraved into it. your favorite flower, you realize. additionally, there’s a perfect heart shaped diamond sitting on top, almost taunting you. 
the heart was meant to symbolize your love. the love you have for eachother. the love he has for you. but felix has never been able to show that properly, not while under his circumstances.
is this the surprise he mentioned the week before? is this why he told you to dress nicely to dinner? is this why he told you to do your nails all nice?
it had to be, right?
you close the box and hold it tightly in your hand, trying your best to suppress the tears that are trying desperately to escape.
but your heart controls you more than your mind.
its almost as if your heart actually has a mind of its own, bringing you to where you are now. standing in the living room, watching the sobs rack felix’s body, velvet box still in hand.
his body jerks with each hiccup, the noise completely muffled by his hand. it’s then you realize that it’s not muffled, he’s suffocating himself.
you place the box down onto the table, rushing over to felix. you grab his shoulder, pushing him over and sitting him upright. he jerks when you touch him, not expecting you to be anywhere near him.
once he truly processes the sight of you, he cries even more. you pry his hand off of his face again, you know it’s a bad habit.
“felix. you won’t be able to breathe when you do that.”
“im sorry. i didn’t w-want you to- to hear m-me”
“deep breaths.”
he inhales deeply, trying his best to follow your breathing patterns, but it fails every time, broken up into small hiccups. “i c-can’t.”
“calm down…”
you give him a small smile, almost to reassure him. he tries again, but it doesn’t work. he shuts his eyes, unable to take it all, and the tears just continue to spill.
“i- i can’t… i can’t breathe”
you rub circles onto his back, trying your best to do breathing exercises with him. you forget how truly sensitive he is. 
“i’m right here…”
“you’re r-right here.”
“mhm… i’m right here, felix.”
“you’re right here… w-why are you here?”
you tilt your head in confusion, wiping a single cascading tear away from his cheek. “i’m here to take care of you.”
“you- i… i don’t deserve it…”
“what?”
“i don’t deserve you. you can- you can leave. i’m not forcing you to stay…”
your heart is now barely holding on, and it feels like only a single thread is holding it together.
“i’m here because i want to help you, lix.”
“you don’t- no- you don’t need to help me… it’s my fault.”
you open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. 
“it’s my fault… i’m sorry.”
“felix…”
“you’ll leave…”
what’s going on with him?
“they all leave… n-not you too…”
“felix.”
“i don’t want you to leave… it’s all my fault.”
“felix, please, calm—“
“you’re going to leave…”
“i’m not going to leave.”
“i ruined it…”
it’s almost as if he’s stuck in the same state of mind, every part of the world being blocked out except for the terrible thoughts swirling around in there.
you cup his cheek with your hand, guiding his gaze towards you. one single look into your eyes, and he’s sobbing again. 
you place your left hand on his knee, you know how much he loves to feel you, but he only seems to cry more.
he tentatively brings a hand up to the one splayed out in his knee, and you watch him out of curiosity. he giggles, and you look back up.
he’s crying even more now, you don’t even know how that’s possible. he picks up your hand by your ring finger, staring at the tan line that your promise ring created. 
“i ruined it. how could i ever let you go…?”
he runs his thumb over it, and he quickly pulls your hand closer to his face. he places a soft kiss onto the line, just once, as to finally seal his fate.
it will never happen. he must accept it.
you don’t let go, instead intertwining your fingers. “i thought about it for a little. i really don’t want to leave you felix. i just… i didn’t know if you loved me anymore.”
“i do… i do love you.”
“i know that now.”
“you don’t know the full extent to which i do, y/n. i don’t just love you for what you have to offer. i love you for you. i love you for your smile, and i love you for waking up everyday. i love you for working hard, and i love you for your heart. i love you for things i can’t even see, and i love every part that makes you you. i love y/n. i love you. and i love you for being you.”
it feels as if the tears in your heart have finally been stitched up. every crack in your heart healed with his pure words. you know they came from the heart too. 
“i can’t guarantee i’ll be there for every event, and im sorry for that. ive tried to change that, but the rules are strict. even then, i wont give up. i’ll try my best to change them, i want to be the best boyfriend i can be. i dont want to rush dates because im running out of time, but instead because i cant wait to get home and finally cuddle with you without being in the public eye. i dont want to be late to any events just so that i can see that beautiful smile on your face when you see me there. i just want to make you happy, happier than you’ve been recently.”
“oh felix…”
he doesn’t say anything else, placing your hand back down on his knee and retracting his hand. that’s when his gaze flies to the table in front of him, the dark blue velvet box staring right at him.
he stands up, grabs it, and then kneels back down, on not one, but both knees. it looks almost as if he’s begging, but what you don’t realize, is that he truly is. he’s begging for your forgiveness, and he’s begging for another chance.
he has to make things right.
“y/n… i know i haven’t been the best boyfriend recently, not at all, but i want to make things right. you’ve brought so much light into my world, and i want to bring you that light too. i just need you to give me one last chance. one chance to make it right. i know it’s not the perfect proposal, but please, make me the happiest man in the world.”
he flicks open the box, displaying the band you last observed in the bathroom.
“i love you.”
“that’s not a yes or a no.”
“yes, i love you.”, you repeat.
you can’t control your heart anymore, and you take the chance to push felix down to kiss him. you know it’s not the ideal proposal, nor is it the ideal post-proposal kiss, but your answer would always be yes.
“it’s you, felix. it’s always been you.”
“y/n.”
“hm?”
“i promise, i’ll never let you go again.”
<3
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424 notes · View notes
becomingmina · 4 months
Note
I need smthing with Felix getting angry at u for going out and getting drunk n he broke his promise of not going to bed mad but he makes up for it in the morning
Mad – angst & light suggestive at the end w/Felix. 18+ only mdni.
Spin on it a little bit I think Y/N should be make it up to him hehe because lix is perfect and he deserves to be shower in affection and love
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“Are you mad at me?” You draped your arm across your boyfriend’s stomach as he laid on the bed. He doesn’t reply, just staring up at the ceiling.
“Felix?” You rub his abs, trying to butter him up with your touches to ease the tension. He hasn’t touch you back or spoken to you since you got home so you know something was up.
“What do you think Y/N?” he replies sternly.
“I’m sorry,” you reply, pecking his cheeks.
“Stop,” he turns to his side removing your hand off him in the process.
“But I’m sorry,” you only moved closer to him letting your chest press against his back. Arms around his waist again, snuggling your face on the back of his neck.
“Stop it Y/N,” Felix snaps and you remove yourself completely off of him, sitting up in the process. “I told you that we can spend all evening together but you just had to go out and get drunk,” Felix continued and you feel your chest start to grow heavy. Oh yeah, he was angry.
“That’s not it. You then called me to pick you up, knowing that I have to wake up early. You know how needy and difficult you are when you’re drunk?! Weren’t you the one who was begging for time together all week? Well here goes your precious time!” You couldn’t see him but you know his jaw is clenched and his brows are furrowed. He has never yelled at you like this before and the aftermath of the shots you took before wasn’t helping you stay calm.
“I’m sorry Felix, I just missed you,” you replied back, unsure of what to do in a situation like this, you started hugging him again but Felix continued to push off your touches.
“Just go sleep! You’re so annoying!” You retracted your actions.
“Okay.” You replied softly almost a whisper, feeling defeated. And with that you laid back on the bed, turning over letting your backs face each other’s.
You tucked your hands in the crook of your neck as you stare at the wall. You know he was upset with you but the way he lashed out like this hurt you, especially when you’re intoxicated. Tears fall from your eyes as you replay the scenario. All day he’s been occupied on his laptop, head phones in as he works on his new song. You’ve tried to make him eat but he refuses every time and when you go near him he scoots away further. You thought you were being a good girlfriend letting him have the apartment to himself by going out with the other boys’ girlfriends. But you see how you went wrong when you got drunk and then called him to come get you. And not just that, you understand how difficult you get when you’re intoxicated, having Felix help you with everything - taking off your shoes, removing your make up, everything. Usually he would love to but he had so much work and stressed piled up. It was your fault he’s mad, you are annoying you got it, but only because you missed your boyfriend.
You tried your best to keep your composure but not having your Felix hold you to sleep or reassure you that you guys can sort this all out later, makes you break down, sniffles leaving your nose.
He was never this angry, he never yelled at you. Felix was always the one who fixed the issue on the spot. Never had he let you go sleep without a resolution as he knew how much it will played in your heads.
Felix was exhausted, he was done for the day. Your actions really put him on edge today and he needed you to understand he can’t always give into you. He closes his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He hates to go to sleep like this but quite honestly, he was exhausted, soon drifting into sleep. You stay up a bit longer, unable to stop replaying the situation in your head and also hoping he’ll turn around to hug you. But he never did and eventually your body gave in to sleep as well.
His alarm woke you up, the phone vibrating the bed. You opened one eye searching for the time, it was still pretty dark outside the blinds. It was only 5am, two hours since you both went to bed. You couldn’t even open your eyes probably, fatigue still taking over. You feel guilty knowing Felix would have been more tired than you. You hear him shuffle around on his side of the bed, the linen touching each another as he reaches for his phone, pausing the alarm then placing it back on the bed. You can still hear the sheets move about for a while until silence again.
You wanted to make it up to him, just something, a small gesture to say you’re sorry. Usually he gets up earlier before he has to leave, to eat so he’s not too sensitive on the way to work. You wanted to make it up to him with pancakes, allowing him to sleep in a tiny bit more. You hear his alarm ring again and you turn around to locate his phone but it was on the other side of him. Not wanting to reach over him afraid he’s going to around to wake up or get mad at you again, you got up from bed to walk around. As you reach for his phone, he opens his eyes and grabs your wrist pulling you back into bed with him.
“Hey baby,” he said gently, pulling you close to him, arm wrapped around your back as you both face each other.
“Hi,” you sniffled back, still cautious of how he was feeling.
“You okay?” His tone was ever so sweet making sure not to feed into the tension anymore.
“Mhmm,” you nodded but the corner of your lips pulled down. A wash of emotions runs over you again at how gentle he is being with you even though you were in the wrong.
“Hey Y/N, are you okay?” He asked again, through heavy eye lids, knowing well you were still so sad.
“No, I’m sorry, Lix I,” you started to rumble, tears falling on your face, feeling guilty of everything you did to him yesterday.
“Shhh I know. You’re sorry. I forgive you okay?” He cuts you off, knowing it’s not fully your fault, you just wanted to spend time with him.
“I didn’t mean to annoy you last night.”
“It’s okay baby. I’m sorry too,” one hand comes to your cheek to wipe away your tears as he gave you a small smile.
“No, you shouldn’t be,” you reply starting to relax a little bit, having your boyfriend speak to you again.
“No, I’m sorry for not giving you any attention yesterday and I’m sorry I yelled at you, you’re not annoying,” his hand starts to run through your hair, giving you more reassurance. “And I’m sorry for going to bed mad, it’s something I know I should have never done. You probably felt so hurt.”
“A little,” you chuckle softly, giving him a smile.
“I promise I still love you. It’s just work. I’m drowning but I have no right to get mad at you.”
“Lix it’s ok. I forgive you,” you peck his nose, leg hoisting over his thigh, hand sliding under his shirt finding its place on his bare stomach. Something about physically touch during the most quiet hours of the day both made your hearts soft. Your heart fluttered at these small moment.
“Yeah?” Felix replied placing a kiss to your forehead, the tension fully eased now.
“Hmmm, ofcourse. But you should get up. Maybe you can hop on the shower while I make you pancakes. I don’t want you to be late,” you trace circles to his bare back, admiring how pretty he looks even at his tired state, he can barely open his eyes back at you.
“The boys cancelled it for today. Seems like they were also upset at their girlfriends hey? They running one 2 hours sleep like me,” he giggles raising his eyebrows giving you a cheeky look, as fingers draws circles on your thigh.
“I’m sorry,” you giggle back, just getting lost in his big bright eyes.
“Can you make it up to me though?” He asked, flicking his eyes from your eyes to your lips then back up, silently asking you to kiss him.
“Yeah I can,” you move closer to his face, lips just grazing onto of his just to tease him for little bit. You let out a chuckle when you see him move his head forward to chase your lips. You give in, pressing your lips to his plump ones. The kiss started of gentle, soft but soon after Felix was kissing you back harder. He was so needy, one hand coming to the back of your head as he locks you in place and the other grazing the skin under your shirt. The room was filled with the sounds of your tongues in dancing in other’s mouth exchanging salvia and the little moans that you both fail to keep inside.
“I missed you. You feel so soft baby,” Felix says in between the kisses before pulling back so you both can catch a breath. You look at him, unable to control your silly smile and he returns back the same dorky look.
“But I’m not fully happy yet baby, you know what you can do to make it up to me?” He asks almost shy the way his eyes flicker around unable to hold contact.
“What is it?”
“Move your leg higher,” and you obeyed, moving it slightly above his thighs. “A little bit more,” And this time he helps you drape your legs over his groin area, hitting something hard in the process. Your eyes widen at the contact, his hard on was now pressing against your thigh. He just smiles, cheeks a bit pinks as he’s patiently waiting for you to take initiative. You can’t help but smile at his cuteness, leaning in forward to kiss him again as your hand is now palming him ontop of his pants.
Song of the day 🎧
728 notes · View notes
kaciidubs · 7 months
Text
Surprise! | Felix x Reader
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❣ In collaboration with @onmykneesforchanlix ❣
❣ Summary: Felix was a cat shifter, living most of his days in his cat form due to unfortunate living circumstances. That is, until you found him one rainy night and his life changed for the better. Years later, he decides that it's time to finally reveal himself to you fully. ❣ ❣ Word Count: 5.5k+ ❣ Warnings: Cat Shifter! Felix, slight Dom! Reader, Pussy Drunk! Felix, smut, slight angst [Felix's life before Reader], fluff, first time as a semi-couple, feminization [Felix wears Reader's clothes], unprotected sex, decryphilia, creampie, begging, praise, desperate/needy love making ❣ ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣ ❣ Additional Tags: Felix is referred to as kitten, Lix, Lixie, fluffy ending ❣ ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣
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Felix’s early life wasn’t much to brag about; growing up in an era where animal shifters were being seen less as a threat and more as an equal was a blessing in disguise, but that didn’t mean he had it easy. There was still discrimination, prejudice, and general unease, and even as a cat shifter he wasn’t free from any of them; losing his part time job due to “staff overflow” and his tenant kicking him and multiple shifter families out of their apartment building due to “remodeling”.
His roommates at the time were able to fall back on family members or other friends, but he was by himself in the city, and he didn’t feel comfortable asking them if they could house him until he got back on his feet. So, he tried getting by on his own until he could find new roommates or someone willing to host shifters.
He was able to stay a few nights at a hostel, applying to any place that had a hiring sign while earning his keep by helping the owner of the hostel - however, he wasn’t able to keep it that way for long. Which is how he found himself surviving in his cat form, easier to maintain throughout the night as he slept in worn out boxes off the side of the road.
Then, one rainy night changed his life for the better - the night he met you.
You, who was walking the dark, rainy streets with a broken umbrella and your face tucked as far into your jacket as it could go.
You, who stopped in your tracks when you saw him sleeping in that small, water damaged cardboard box just outside of an alleyway.
You, who scooped him up and tucked him into the free space of your jacket before taking him back to your apartment with the promise of taking care of him for the night.
Well, what started out as one night turned into two years and counting by your side as your loving little orange cat, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way - save for a few key things. The major one being he had yet to reveal his human form to you while you were home.
He figured that you had a feeling about him not being only a cat, from the way he participated in your morning routines with his own tasks - you doing your hair was him grooming himself, you brushing your teeth was him having a dental treat until you left so he could shift and actually brush his teeth - to the way you still had an unopened 16-count of cat food because he preferred eating the dinner you had over any form of gourmet tuna.
But, you never mentioned anything about it, you never even made a sly passing comment despite the way he’d participate in your one-sided conversations with too many coincidental meows or glares whenever you said something he didn’t agree with.
You even wrote out the alphabet on a sheet of paper so he could “pick his own name”, using his small paws to walk over the letters ‘F’ ‘E’ ‘L’ ‘I’ ‘X’ before rubbing his face against the side of yours with a content purr.
All of these events culminated into this moment now, where he was currently sitting on your bed in his human form freshly showered and naked as the day he was born; the pajama shirt you wore that night laid out in front of him.
Tonight was the night Felix was going to show you the real him, the him he hid from you out of fear that you wouldn’t want to keep him around anymore, fear that he’d go from your kitty ‘Lixie’ to just another alley cat.
His plan was simple, really; dress in your clothes to give him the comfort and confidence he needed and surprise you once you got back from work, apologize for not letting you know the night you brought him home, and hope that the kindness you've shown him for the past two years would continue further.
Orange tail swishing behind him with anticipation, he wasted no time in pulling the pink shirt onto his arms before slipping it over his head, quickly engulfing himself in your warm scent and soft cotton.
Smoothing out the top, his soft brown eyes landed on the piece of clothing he forgot he even took out, his human ears turning red at the sight of your white panties laying bright against the blanket.
He didn’t have any clothes at your place, usually reserving himself the grace of either wandering around nude or donning one of your hoodies and a pair of underwear he’d make sure to wash himself before you got home; and this plan had the added point of him wearing something to cover his exposed lower half.
Hence, the white lace panties with pink bows that he was sliding up his pale legs and tucking himself into, finishing off his look for the night.
Perfect.
Sneaking a peek at himself in the mirror near your closet, he felt a low rumble in his chest - the shirt slightly swamped him and the panties’ waistband sat comfortably below his tail to not cause irritation or annoyance, this couldn’t have worked out more perfectly in his favor.
A soft yawn tumbled from his lips and he glanced at the small digital clock you kept on the nightstand; a little less than an hour and a half until you came home, which meant he had more than enough time for a quick nap before his plan would go into effect.
Stretching his arms to the sky with an even bigger yawn, he allowed himself to curl up against your sheets and close his heavy eyelids - content purrs escaping him with each exhale.
“Lixie! I’m home!”
His ears perked up at your voice and he stretched with a big yawn, slowly rolling himself into a sitting position and tiredly rubbing his eye until his brain finally kicked into gear; you were home. 
A rush of excitement ran through him as he scrambled onto his knees, hands seated in his lap as he stared at the door in anticipation - his heart thumping hard in his chest. 
What were you going to say? Would you still like him as a human? What if he wasn’t pretty enough in his human form? 
His ears drooped as he deflated, small hands now anxiously playing with the hem of the shirt that was supposed to be his comfort. He heard you shuffle around the adjacent room, mentally going through the routine he’d seen you do time and time again; keys in dish, shoes at the door, work bag on the chair in the living room. 
“Lixie? Where are you, kitten?” 
The closer your footsteps grew toward the bedroom door, the more he wished he could shrink in on himself - it wasn't too late to change back, was it? No, no, he wanted you to see him - he wanted to show you the real him.
“Lixie?”
Where was he? He usually greeted you at the door, meowing loudly at you while rubbing himself at your legs. Maybe he was still asleep, curled up on his favourite place, your pillows? 
You quietly made your way to the bedroom, your hands resting on the handle for a second before opening the door.
 Nothing could’ve prepared you for what happened next.
“Lix-” Your eyes met a familiar warm brown set, but that wasn’t what stopped you in your tracks. 
No, it was the fact that said eyes belonged to a blond man currently sitting in the middle of your bed, dressed in your sleep shirt and nothing else - at least, that’s what you could assume from the sight of his bare thighs. 
Maybe you should have screamed - should have shouted curses and threatened to call the police but all you could do was blink at the man. Opening your mouth to say something, the words get stuck in your throat, making you swallow thickly while your eyes lingered on the man in front of you. 
Felix felt small under your gaze, shy even. He nervously pulled the shirt to cover his legs when he noticed you staring at his bare thighs. 
Maybe this wasn't a good idea, he thought to himself. 
He wanted to say something but couldn’t think of anything - any words or sounds dying before they even reached his throat. His eyes met yours when he looked up, and he noticed a small smile forming on your lips. 
“Lixie?” You questioned quietly.
He felt his ears twitch at the sound of his name, catching the notes of joy adding sunlight to the word; his tail swishing in response. You seemed to like his reaction because you took a small step away from the doorway before rushing toward where he was sitting.
“Oh... my little Lixie! Look at you- I can’t believe it- My cute little kitten is a shifter!” 
Felix felt himself blush at the awe in your tone, his hands tightening against the hem of your shirt.
“Lixie,” you hummed as you ran your fingers through his soft blond hair, “you’re so pretty.” 
Felix’s lips curled up into a smile, and when your fingers found that spot behind his ears - scratching just the way he liked - he couldn’t help but start purring. 
The first word to leave his lips is your name - his voice a bit raspy since he hadn't spoken properly in months.
“Why didn't you show yourself sooner, kitty?” You cooed, tracing your fingertips down the side of his face and stopping at the soft curve of his chin, smiling when he leaned into your hold. 
“I…” He swallowed thickly, nearly shocking himself at how deep his voice was, “I wanted to but... I didn't think you'd like me anymore…” He couldn't help but hold your gaze, addicted to the soft sparkle in your irises as you studied him.
“Why would you think that, hm? You're my Lixie,” you whispered, cupping his face in your hands, your eyes never leaving his, “You’re my pretty kitty…” You gave him a reassuring smile, your thumbs running along his reddened cheeks. 
With the way you looked at him with so much love and care, he couldn’t help but blush - his cheeks dusted in a pretty pink.
“Look at you,” a soft laugh fell from your lips, and he suddenly wondered what it would be like to feel them against his own, “wearing my shirt? Were you trying to turn yourself into a gift for me?” 
A hot flush ran down his back, goosebumps rising on his skin as he remembered what exactly he's wearing. 
“N-Not just your shirt…” He stammered, gaze falling in embarrassment from the guilty admission.
“What do you mean?” You questioned, and instead of answering you, Felix leaned back and lifted up the shirt - not all the way, but just enough to reveal the panties he stole out of your drawer. 
You sucked in a breath at the sight, pink little bows decorating the white lace he was wearing. It was your favourite pair, Felix knew that. 
That's why he chose them. 
They were a bit small for him, but he didn't mind - he just hoped that you were okay with it too.
“Lix…” His name left you in a breathless sigh, a hand falling from his cheek to graze up his thigh, but no further than that. “You really turned yourself into a gift for me, huh?” 
You knew how the lace fit your body, but the sight of the white patterns hugging his slim hips and slightly bulging over his dick had your brain whirring. You didn't miss the soft whimper that fell from his lips, or the way his legs shifted toward your touch.
Felix bit down on his lip when he felt your fingertips ghosting over his inner thigh, barely touching him. He spread his legs a bit, hoping you’d get the hint and touch him - but you didn't, your fingers running up his thigh and stopping before they reached the lace, then down again.
“You know... it really makes me sad you didn’t shift for me sooner.” His eyes widened slightly, bottom lip jutting out in a pout until you continued, “We could’ve had so much fun way sooner than this.” There was a sharp glint in your eye that made him whine, his hands tugging the shirt higher up his stomach.
“I’m... sorry,” he mumbled, trying to hide his face with the shirt until you stopped him. 
“It's okay Lix,” your hands came up to tug on his shirt, “why don’t you take this off for me, hm?” 
He nodded, wasting no time in pulling it over his head and throwing it next to the bed. 
“So pretty,” you whispered, brushing his hair out of his face.
Your fingers grazed against his ears in the process and he moaned, the melodic sound melting into a purr that you practically felt vibrating from his chest. 
“They’re still sensitive even in your human form…” Humming, you caressed your thumb along the base, “Aren’t you just full of surprises?” 
“P-Please,” he whimpered, his hands itching to reach out to you from where they were planted on the bed, “it feels so... good.”
“Feels good, yeah? I can make you feel even better... if you let me.” You moved your hand from his ears to his chest, gently pushing him back to lay on the bed. 
Your fingers brushed over his nipple and he gasped at the sudden rush coursing through his body. 
Eyes flickering down from his eyes to his lips, you leaned in closer with a soft whisper just barely grazing the pink skin, “Kiss me, kitten.”
Felix lifted his head so fast he was shocked he didn’t accidentally headbutt you as your lips met. 
It was different, so different from the way you would kiss the top of his head when he’s curled in your arms in his cat form, yet the softness remained the same. He didn’t think it could get any better until he felt your lips part, and when your thumb and finger pinched his nipple, he gasped and your tongue was ghosting against his own.
He let his tongue run along yours, humming lowly in the back of his throat. His cock was already hard and straining against the lace; the tip leaking pre cum, forming a small wet patch. 
It hurt, but Felix didn’t know how to ask you for more. He tugged on your shirt, wanting you closer.
You couldn’t help but laugh against his lips, pulling back just enough so that your noses remained touching. “Eager little kitten, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, baby.” 
Pecking his lips one last time, you sat up - kneeling just above his lap - and pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it where the pajama shirt laid. 
Felix’s eyes widened - he’d seen you in your underwear before, sure, but taking in your body in his human form had fireworks going off in his head. You looked soft - he knew you was soft - but he needed to feel you with his hands, his mouth, anything you allowed.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, staring at every bit of exposed skin, wetting his dry lips with his tongue. 
You laughed shyly, trying to cover yourself with your hands, “Don’t look at me like that. You've seen me in underwear before - hell, you’ve even seen me naked!" 
Felix felt the blush spreading on his face - it was true, he had seen you naked, too many times to count, but that was when he was in his cat form; sitting on the counter in the bathroom when you took a shower or a bath, never leaving you out of sight.
“I-I know! But-” This time, he allowed his hands to touch your forearms, trailing up the skin to your wrists, then the backs of your hands, “I... I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to see you like this- touch you like this.” He kept his touch strictly on your hands, resting over the bra that kept the sight of his dreams hidden away. “I want... C-Can I see more? Please, I wanna see you.”
“You could've had me like this months ago, kitten.” Your tone was smug, but you still reached behind you to unclasp your bra - not taking it off just yet, “It’s okay, you can touch me.” Your hands reached for his as you guided them to your bra straps. "Help me take this off?" 
Felix swallowed thickly, his hands shaking a bit from how nervous he was. He didn't want to fuck this up. This might be his only chance.
His fingers grazed the straps and he immediately decided he hates the texture - too rough, no wonder why you were always rolling your shoulders once it was off. Eyebrows furrowing at the offensive clothing, he slowly pulled them down the curves of your shoulders and had to physically fight back the moan growing from the way the bra went slack - your breasts threatening to spill from the cups already. 
“Keep going, Lixie, take it all the way off for me.”
Felix pulled it down completely before throwing it aside, his hand itching to touch you. Reaching out hesitantly, he lets a finger run over the soft flesh of your bare breasts; goosebumps spreading over your skin as you send him a reassuring smile and a nod, giving him the okay to continue. 
He doesn’t waste any more time cupping your breasts with his hands, squeezing them carefully.
If he thought kneading his own blankets was heaven, then this was damn near nirvana; your breasts resting in the palms of his hands - or at least, what he could fit - while the rest squished up with each flex of his hands. 
“You-You’re so soft... oh, fuck, you’re so soft.” 
You shivered at the curse falling from his angelic lips - the thought of your kitten, your Lixie, so smitten over what he’d seen time and time again making your core throb. “Softer than that blanket I spent so much money on for you?” You teased, laughing at the pout that overtook his lips. 
“That’s different! You... You feel better than any blanket or any pillow I've ever laid on.”
“You’re so cute, I’m just teasing you.” Taking his hands away from you, you pinned them down on the mattress near his head, leaning over him with a teasing grin.
It took all the strength Felix had to not cum right then and there; your breasts were right in front of his face, giving him the chance to kiss the soft flesh before circling his tongue around one of your nipples.
You moaned at the sudden attack, your hands tightening around his wrists while his mouth toyed with the hardening bud. Without having to be told, he released your tit with a wet pop before latching onto the second, making a sound you couldn’t tell was a moan or a purr. 
“Lixie.” You moaned, and if Felix's eyes weren’t shut you would’ve seen them roll to the back of his head. You barely touched him and he was already at his peak, wondering how it was even possible to feel anything better than this.
He bucked his hips up, moaning loudly at the delicious friction and the waves of pleasure running through his body. His eyes were closed tightly, mouth agape with breathless pants rolling past his lips. 
He was so close, he could almost taste the orgasm on his tongue but he fought against it. He didn't want to cum like this, not yet. 
"Please," he whimpered, not sure what he was even asking for.
“Keep your hands up here, Lixie, okay?” You slowly sat up, trying not to laugh at the needy whine that settled in his throat when your chest no longer surrounded his head. “Keep them up there or else I’ll stop, understand?” 
He nodded senselessly, eyes glossy and chest flushed pink; he nearly forgot how to breathe when he saw your hands go to your jeans, popping the button open and sliding the zipper down. He nearly cried when you shifted off of him, only for you to shush him with a tut of your tongue. 
“Gotta take my pants off first Lixie, I told you I can make you feel even better, and I will.”
You turned away from him, pulling your jeans teasingly slow over the curve of your ass before pulling them off completely - repeating the same process with your underwear. 
Felix couldn't help but stare at your ass, almost drooling at the sight. His hands moved to reach out to touch you but he stopped himself before you could notice, repositioning them next to his head in hopes of going unnoticed.
Leaving your clothes in a puddle by your feet, you quickly climbed your way back onto the bed and over Felix’s lap - not sitting down just yet. “You know, as much as I said you missed out on showing me the real you before, I can’t wait to see what I’ve been missing out on too.” You danced your fingers up his stomach and to his chest teasingly, watching as his hands fisted the sheets underneath him. “I’ll take good care of you, kitten.” 
Felix watched as you lowered yourself so settle in his lap and a sharp moan escaped him,  the warmth of your pussy settling over the thin lace he still had on.
He fought the urge to look down between your bodies, wanting to take a peek but instead looking up at you, trying to grind his hips up against yours. “Please... I- I can’t.. I want,” he stuttered out, “it hurts.”
“Use your words Lixie,” you hummed, a light roll of your hips nearly sending him to the stars, “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you, but you have to use your words, kitten.”
“Please, I want... no, need you to touch me,” he breathed “‘m so hard it hurts." He thrusted his hips up, groaning softly, “Fuck, you feel so good,” eyes fluttering shut with another thrust, he bites back a whimper, “please, I’ll be good for you... just touch me.”
A soft smile graced your lips, “That’s my good kitty.” Lifting yourself onto your knees, you wasted no time in tugging your lace panties down his hips and the swell of his ass, “Such a dirty kitty, making a mess in my panties, huh?” 
All he could do was moan wantonly, his dick finally free from the tight confines as he eagerly kicked them down his legs and off the bed.
You leaned back over him, pressing your lips to his in a slow kiss and letting your thumb run over his slit to collect the pre cum. Felix moaned into the kiss, parting his lips for you to slip your tongue in. Your tongues touch as Felix cupped your face in his hands, not wanting to part not even for oxygen - he doesn't want to even think about the kiss ending, pouring all of his emotions into it as if it were the last thing he could do in his human form.
Your free hand covered one of his own, squeezing it gently as you parted from the kiss. “I’ll let you slide for now,” you whispered, your lips still brushing against his, “but next time I'll have to punish you.” 
Felix felt you shift above him, but before he can register anything, the warmth of your walls are enveloping the head of his dick. "O-Oh! Oh fuck!"
You placed your hands on his chest and sank down on him completely, hissing a bit at the stretch. “Fuck kitten, you feel so good,” moaning softly, you wiggled your hips, “feel so full.” 
He fisted the sheets underneath him, throwing his head back, mouth agape in a silent moan. “S-So warm," he gasped as you lifted your hips up and sank down on him again, your walls clenching around him. Suddenly, his hands flew to your hips to stop you from moving, “Please wait, fuck- I'm not gonna last long.” Your eyes met and he sucked in a shaky breath, “Shit, you feel so perfect around me. Better than what I’ve imagined…”
“You”ve thought about fucking me?” Your light giggling made your pussy flutter around him and he nearly sobs at the feeling. “What a naughty little kitten I have - makes me wonder what else goes on in that pretty head of yours.” With your hands settled on his chest, you slowly rocked your hips against his, moaning at the way his dick massaged your insides. “Let me show you what the real thing is really like, are you ready for that, Lixie?”
“Oh god, please show me,” he whined, his grip on your hips tightening slightly. 
Moans spilled from his lips as you moved your hips teasingly slow, your fingertips digging into his skin, leaving behind small crescent marks. 
Overwhelmed from the pleasure, his moans quickly melted into whimpers and pleas. He doesn't hold back, making you smirk, “Let it all out kitten. Am I making you feel good?”
He nodded his head frantically, unable to stop the moans tumbling from his kiss bruised lips. 
“Good boy, such a good boy, Felix.” 
He didn't even have the chance to react to the sound of his full name falling from your lips when you rose slowly before dropping back down. You were riding him, the person he loved so much he thought his heart would never beat the same - he felt tears begin to swell in his eyes as his hands followed your pace.
“Kitten? Hey, are you alright?” Your voice filled with worry as you immediately stilled your hips, your hands reaching up to gently caress his cheeks, “am I hurting you?” Concern grew in the pit of your stomach as you watched a single tear roll down his cheek, reacting quickly to catch it with your thumb. 
Felix shook his head, his gaze avoiding yours.
“Lixie, I need you to answer me - do you need me to stop?” 
His watery eyes snapped to your own as he choked back a sob, “N-No! Don’t- Please- I... I feel so good, I can’t- I love it- I-I love yo-” 
Soft hiccups broke his sentence into rambled parts, and it all suddenly clicked; he was crying from pleasure, crying for you. 
“Oh... My sweet kitten…” You cooed softly, catching more stray tears with a swipe of your thumb before leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose. “I love you too, do you wanna keep going?”
More tears spilled from his eyes at your words and loving actions - you loved him back, he couldn't be happier than he was in this moment. 
His favourite human loves him the way he loves you. 
“Yes please... make love to me... please.” He whispered, hands wiping away the last few tears that were still building in his eyes. He gave you a watery smile, eyes scrunching up and face exuding a brightness you never thought was possible on a person. 
He looked so pretty under you, cheeks tinted pink and eyes looking up at you, so full of trust, so full of love.
Your heart fluttered and you had to stop yourself from smothering him with butterfly kisses around his beautiful face - he still needed you, and you were going to do what you promised you would; take care of your kitten. 
Taking his hands from your hips, you threaded your fingers with his before pinning them at the sides of his head, shifting your position slightly. “Don’t worry about anything else, Lixie - let go of everything and focus on me.” With his nod of approval, you started to ride him once more, the new change in angle letting his dick caress the front of your pussy.
“O-Oh my god,” he moaned, his eyes rolling back as you moved your hips, grinding them down. “‘s so good, please don't stop,” Felix slurred his words, so lost in the pleasure - he was sure he’d died and gone to heaven. 
You picked up the pace and leaned forward, letting your noses touch before connecting your lips in a short, sweet kiss.
“You're so good Lixie,” you panted against his lips, squeezing his hands tighter, “fill me up so well, so perfect, my perfect kitten.” 
He moaned at your words, squeezing his eyes to focus on keeping his orgasm at bay - he couldn’t let it end so soon, he wouldn’t. 
“Are you close, baby?” You mused, keeping the pace of your hips with ease, your lips brushing against his ear. Felix’s cock was hitting your g-spot with every move of your hips now and you could feel your own orgasm slowly approaching. 
“I-I can hold it!! Wanna be a good kitten for you, want you to cum first,” he pouted, thrusting his hips up to meet yours. He freed his hands from your grasp, moving them to hold your hips as he continued to thrust into you. You lightly grazed your teeth against his earlobe, nibbling on it before pressing a kiss to his neck.
“P-Please,” He whined, tilting his head to the side to grant you more access to his skin, “I-I’m gonna- I want you-” He felt like his brain was on overdrive, every nerve ending burning at every point your bodies were connected. His right hand sandwiched between your bodies to where his cock was currently drilling into you, fingers frantically searching for what he knew would help you come before him. 
You panted against his jaw, nipping at the pale skin lightly, “To the left baby, m-move your hand to the left.” 
Obeying your direction, he shifted his wrist and his fingers landed on a soft, slippery nub that made your pussy clench. 
“F-Fuck! There, right there baby!”
His fingers moved experimentally over the nub, circling around it and you moaned in response against his jaw, "You're doing so well kitten, making me feel so good." 
Felix continued to circle his fingers against your clit, drinking in the moans that spilled from your lips. He was determined to make you come first, moving his fingers a bit faster, “Good like this?” 
Nodding hastily, you connected your lips to his neck again and sucked on the skin, the desire to mark him swelling inside of you - you wanted to mark him as yours.
Following the change in tide, you were now the one wantonly moaning against his skin, riding him that much faster and a bit more sloppier. “‘S so good, F-Felix- it’s so good!” 
His heart skipped a beat and he quickened his pace, digging his feet into the mattress to fuck into you faster. “C-Come for me? Please- I need you to come for me, c-come with me-” He was so hard it hurt, his stomach clenching and heaving with each ragged breath - he felt himself tear up as he begged whatever higher power was listening to let you come first, please let you come first.
“F-Fuck Felix, right there!” You moaned out, quivering above him,  “G-Gonna come!”
Your orgasm rapidly approached as you held onto him, his frantic thrusts bouncing your body against his own. His fingers dug into your skin, and he hoped that they were going to leave a bruise - a marker of his desires finally coming true. You bit down on his neck, tongue running soothingly over the marks left on his skin.
It only took a handful of thrusts before you were shaking above him, your moans growing in volume as you wrangled your hand free from his to tangle in his hair. “Lixie! Felix! I'm c- oh god, I'm coming!" 
The grip you had on his dick grew tighter and he groaned, pace faltering as you came around him with a loud cry barely muffled against his neck. 
“T-Tight- S-So tight, I can’t-" He was getting dizzy, both hands now coming to wrap behind your back and hold you as close as he possibly can. “Gonna c-come, wanna f-fill you, please? L-Let me- s-so warm, please, please!”
It took a second for you to register his words, head dizzy from your orgasm, before you nodded frantically, "O-Of course kitten, go ahead - breed me.” You whisper and it's all Felix needed to hear. 
With one more solid thrust he emptied himself inside you with a loud cry, his hips stuttering as he rode out his orgasm. His glazed over eyes found yours and you smiled at each other, noses bumping as you leaned in for a bliss-filled kiss. 
Your lips touched softly in a short peck - soft and sweet and all you both ever needed after an event like that.
“Good kitty,” you giggled, gently scratching your nails against his scalp, feeling the rumble of his purrs vibrate against your chest. “Let’s go get cleaned up, yeah?” 
Felix couldn’t help but whine, not ready to let you go as he squeezed his arms around your sweaty body, “Can... Can we stay like this a little longer? I like holding you...like this.” 
You beamed at the blush taking over his face and nodded, “Of course, Lixie - hold me as long as you want, it’s only fair for bow often I’ve held you.” Tucking your face into the warmth of his neck, you murmured, “From now on, you can hold me as much as you want, my sweet kitten.”
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❣ This one's been in the works for a while, but I'm so honored to have done this collab with my lovely Miu! I hope you enjoyed reading and by all means, leave some nice words for her because she's genuinely an amazing writer! Love you lots @onmykneesforchanlix ❣ ❣ Any type of feedback is appreciated! Whether it be a simple like, reblog, or keyboard smash and the most essay-like comment, feel free to share your thoughts. ❣
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writingforstraykids · 2 months
Note
I’m not sure if you do anything without reader, but I had this kind of crazy thought. You don’t have to answer this if you’re uncomfortable, because it’s a little weird I guess. What about dom Chan and dom Minho with sub Felix, and Felix is never allowed to touch himself without permission? One day, Chan and Minho go out, and come back to see Felix desperately humping his Leebit plushie with Wolfchan in his mouth and there’s just drool and cum everywhere 👀 What do you think they’d do to punish him?
Technically I wasn't touching
Pairing: Felix x Chan x Minho / Minchanlix
Word Count: 4982
Warnings/Tags: fluff, smut, sub!felix, dom!minho, dom!chan, edging, begging, felix doesn't do well with punishment, angst, soft!anxious!min, soft!chan, needy!lix, blindfold, daddy kink (Chanlix), color system
A/N: This got longer than expected😂 It gets a little angsty in the end, but it ends on a happy note. I hope you enjoy it🖤
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Felix wanders through the now very empty apartment and sighs softly to himself. Minho and Chan left for their date night about an hour ago, promising him cuddles and kisses once they’d be back. It’s nothing unusual that two of them are out for separate dates once in a while. It’s a little tradition they’ve started early on to give each pairing in their throuple the chance to spend some quality time together. But with his hyungs gone, Felix started to get bored very quickly, and scrolling through his phone wasn’t his brightest idea. 
Seeing all those pictures and edits of his boyfriends only made him long for them to care for him in every way possible. He misses Minho’s hand gripping his hair, his doe eyes watching him with such a fire it took his breath away every time. He misses Chan’s hands, bruising his skin as he pounds into him, whispering the dirtiest shit to him. He misses Minho’s tongue abusing his needy little hole, fucking him stupid in the most mindblowing positions. He misses Chan cornering him against a wall, making him hold back his whimpers and moans in public. Fuck, he really misses his boyfriends.
Felix grumbles softly to himself and makes his way to their shared bedroom, throwing himself into bed. He notices his two plushies comfortably seated against the pillow and frowns softly. Taking Leebit, he smells Minho’s signature cologne. Curiously, he grabs Wolfchan, being met with Chan’s cologne now. “Idiots,” he says fondly and presses the plushies to his face, inhaling the scent of his boyfriends. Felix fumbles for his phone and debates texting his boyfriends for a moment. 
Felix stares at the screen for another ten minutes, and his frustration grows with every passing minute. Of course, they wouldn’t text back. They were having a date. He shifts on the mattress, and his dick rubs against the crumpled blanket beneath him. A soft little moan escapes his lips at the feeling, and he bites his lower lip hard. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. He promised them. 
But…he wasn’t actually touching himself like that, right?
Felix repeats the movement of his hips, and a heavy sigh falls from his lips at the needed friction. He blushes at how loud he sounds in the empty apartment and buries his face further into his Wolfchan, stifling the following noise escaping him. He doesn’t fully know what makes him do so, but it doesn’t take long, and he’s shoving Leebit beneath his body, lifting his hips and grinding down against the plushie, crying out in relief as it finally creates the friction he needs. Felix hastily pushes down his pants and boxers, grinding down against the plushie eagerly.
-
Chan giggles, seeing the message from Felix as Minho went to the bathroom. He rolls his eyes playfully and decides to wait for his boyfriend. Minho comes back after a moment, looking as beautiful as ever. His dark pants and shirt hug him in all the right places. His sleeves are rolled up a little, giving Chan a delicious view of Minho’s beautiful arms and elegant hands. A silver bracelet on his left wrist matches the necklace peeking through the unbuttoned collar. A few rings decorate his fingers, and Chan can’t stop himself from staring as he makes his way to the table. 
Minho sits down, blowing a strand of his currently black hair from his face, and tilts his head at Chan, rather amused. “You’re done staring?” 
“At you? Never,” he smiles softly, and Minho’s amusement yields to a soft blush covering his cheeks. “I know I’ve told you before, but you look very handsome tonight.”
“Thank you,” he smiles sheepishly. “You look stunning yourself, Channie love.” He really does. Chan’s wearing a black suit, refraining from wearing a shirt beneath the jacket, giving Minho a perfect view of his neck adorned with the small bracelet. A pair of silver earrings highlight his dark hair, a few strands falling beautifully into his forehead. Minho’s eyes wander further down, making him smile as he spots the bracelet matching his own. “How’s our sunshine?” he asks curiously. “How you giggled at your phone when I left can only mean he texted.” Chan snorts softly at how well Minho knows him and shows him the text message.
Sunshine💛: I really miss you guys🥺❤️ can I touch myself, pretty please?
 A soft smirk settles on Minho’s lips, and he raises his eyebrows at Chan. “Already?”
“Well, it’s been two weeks,” he laughs.
“Of course, it has been,” Minho rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair comfortably. “I told him it would if he keeps acting up, which he did.”
“Should we release him tonight?” Chan suggests, and Minho picks up his drink, glancing at him amused. 
“Gosh, you’re such a softie,” he rolls his eyes playfully. “Fine, we can,” he gives in, a mischievous glint shimmering in his chocolate orbs. “It’s not like I didn’t miss those pretty little whimpers.”
“Me too,” he smirks and unlocks his phone. “So, no touching until then.”
Minho hums softly and finishes his drink. “Let’s go?”
“Someone’s impatient,” he giggles.
“I miss my Lixie,” he pouts at him, and Chan types a quick message.
Channie hyung🖤: Patience, baby boy, we’ll be home soon🖤
After paying, Chan intertwines his hand with Minho’s, strolling out of the restaurant with him. “Let’s see what our good boy is doing, huh?”
-
Minho giggles softly as he closes the door, and Chan pulls him into a kiss. He kisses back fiercely, making a soft sound as Chan bites his lower lip teasingly. “Okay, come on, let’s…,” his voice trails off as he hears it. “Is he? Fucks sake, Felix,” he growls quietly and pushes past Chan toward their bedroom. 
Chan follows him, and his eyes widen as soon as they enter the doorframe. Felix is fully undressed on his knees in the middle of their bed. His long, blond hair falls around his head messily, partly sticking to his sweaty forehead. Chan needs a moment to comprehend that Felix is biting down on his Wolfchan plushie to stifle the sinful noises leaving his mouth. 
Minho blinks, stunned at the sight of Felix eagerly grinding down against something. Drool is dripping down his chin from biting on the plushie, and there’s cum all over his pretty thighs and stomach. The sight alone makes him hard but fuels his anger before he can do anything against it. That definitely went against their rules and agreements.
Chan’s lips part with a groan as he realizes what exactly Felix is so desperately humping, and he involuntarily grips Minho’s hip tightly. “You have to be kidding me,” he says out loud, and Felix flinches at the sound of his voice, staring at them with wide eyes.
Minho closes the distance and grabs his chin, freeing Wolfchan from his mouth and glaring down at him. “Felix,” he says dangerously low. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispers with wide eyes, fear spreading through his body in an addictive rush. “Please.”
“Please, what, baby?” Minho spits out. “One rule. One rule, and you can’t keep it. Why?”
“I-I got needy, and you-you didn’t respond, and I thought-” he starts out, growing smaller beneath Minho’s firm gaze.
“Thought what? That we wouldn’t notice you were touching yourself without our permission?” he asks sharply.
“Technically, I wasn’t touching,” he mumbles, and Minho’s gaze hardens. 
“Technically, you fucked up no matter how you put this,” he snorts.
“I just thought-”
“Wrong thought, pretty boy,” Chan chimes in from behind, slowly stepping next to Minho to avoid Felix agitating him even more. “I thought we could trust you with this,” he says, clearly disappointed, shattering Felix’s heart.
“Channie babe,” he whispers nervously.
“Nah, don’t try to sweet talk now, you messed up,” he shakes his head.
“I missed you two so much,” he tries, eyes getting teary. “I swear I didn’t mean to; I just needed to...”
“You’ve been a brat, which is why. And now you’re being an even bigger brat than before,” Minho reminds him and huffs at him. “Look at the mess you made,” he groans.
“Get up,” Chan says calmly, and Felix’s eyes widen, realizing why. His eyes flicker to Minho, and there’s a pleading look in them as they meet Chan’s again. “I won’t say it again.”
He does, and Minho’s jaw drops, spotting Leebit beneath his boyfriend. “And you traumatized Leebit in the process!”
Chan has to bite back a laugh at that and gently nudges Minho, who also bites back a grin. “God, look at you getting so desperate you’re fucking our plushies.”
“Under any other circumstances, I might’ve found it adorable,” Minho adds, sighing.
“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you. Please, I’ll do everything,” Felix starts begging, staring at them with wide, teary eyes. “I promise to be good; I didn’t want to make you mad.”
“Oh, sunshine,” Minho sighs and cups his cheek, soothingly brushing his thumb across his cheekbone. “You do realize we have to punish you now for breaking our rules, right?”
Felix swallows softly but nods compliantly.
“You’ll be a good boy and take it?” Chan asks, growing a little softer for a moment as well. Felix nods eagerly and folds his hands in his lap. “Speak up, Lix.”
“I’ll be a good boy, daddy,” he nods, and Chan seems to be satisfied.
“Such a shame, right before we would've taken care of you,” Chan sighs. 
“I didn't know,” Felix pouts softly. 
Minho laughs at him. “If you wouldn't have been busy humping my plushie, you would've gotten our message.”
“Oh,” he whispers, clearly embarrassed, and Minho seems to have a little pity on him, cupping his face and planting a quick kiss on top of his hair. 
“God, look at the mess you made,” he laughs and brushes back his sweaty hair for him, humming softly as Felix leans into his touch. “Channie love, can you get a towel or something?” Chan nods agreeingly and walks to the adjoined bathroom. Minho gently wipes away the drool from his chin with his thumb and sighs softly, looking down at him, yearning for his simple touch. “Was it really that bad that you couldn’t wait?”
Felix lowers his gaze. “I just really missed your touch.”
“Well, stop being such a tease then; you know I don’t joke around when I tell you there’ll be consequences,” he laughs gently and thanks Chan silently, taking the towel from him. He wipes his face first before cleaning his stomach and thighs. Minho pushes him onto the mattress more or less gently, pinning his hands down and tilting his head at him with a smirk. “Now. What will it be?” he asks, and Felix swallows softly. “We could use you until we’re both satisfied,” he suggests, and Felix’s pupils darken at the thought. “But maybe we’ll just make you watch instead,” Minho adds, and there’s a fearful flicker in Felix’s chocolate eyes at that idea. “Maybe I’ll let your beloved daddy fuck me stupid instead, and you can’t do anything but watch and long it’s you.”
Chan smirks at that thought and steps behind Minho, wrapping his arms around his waist, hand running down his stomach, cupping him through his pants. Minho moans sinfully, purely to tease Felix with the idea. Chan buries his nose in his neck and kisses him sweetly, pulling him back against his body fiercely. “Maybe we’ll blindfold him, and he can listen only, kitten.” 
Minho smirks, licking his lips, and melts into Chan’s so familiar firm touch. “Would you like that, baby boy?” he asks teasingly, pressing back against his hyung. Chan shudders against him, clearly worked up already as well. 
“No, please,” Felix whimpers, squirming on the bed as his boyfriends gaze down at him amused.
“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for you,” Minho snickers and lets go of his wrists, reaching back to tangle his hand in Chan’s hair. “I’m all in with the blindfold,” he nods, and Felix gulps nervously. “You had a long day; he should make it up to you first,” he continues and soothingly scratches Chan’s hair. “Felix,” he speaks up firmly, and Felix’s wide eyes meet his expectantly. “I want you to take care of our Channie hyung, you hear me? No touching for you, you won’t touch Chan, you won’t touch yourself.”
Felix scrambles onto his knees and nods quickly. “Yes, Minho hyung, I can do that,” he answers, almost crying with relief at the thought of getting stuffed to the brim by Chan.
“You won’t cum until I say so,” he continues, and Felix shudders softly. That would be rough, given the pure need spreading through his veins like wildfires. “We’ll see how we go from there.”
“Okay,” he nods and glances at them, unsure about the next move.
“Well, prepare yourself, sunshine,” Minho urges. 
“But, I-,” he stammers, heart sinking. He really hoped Minho would at least eat him out or Chan’s fingers would stretch his hole so perfectly.
“You were so eager to get things done yourself only minutes ago; you’ll manage,” Minho says and turns in Chan’s hold, giving him a firm kiss. He roams his hands down his body, squeezing his bum and smirking as he feels Chan growing hard against him, straining against the fabric of his pants. Minho fumbles them open and slips his hand into his pants, wrapping it around Chan’s dick and stroking him lovingly. “Let’s see if our boy can finish the job, huh,” he says, and Chan’s lips part with a soft groan at the obscene noise leaving Felix’s mouth as he pushes the first finger inside.
Felix whimpers as he stretches himself out enough to take Chan later and blushes heavily at the hungry but adoring looks his boyfriends give him. He spreads his legs for them to give them a better view and shivers as he notices Minho stroking Chan.
Only a little later, Minho has fully undressed Chan, and he’s on his back, guiding Felix into his lap. A mutual relief floods their systems as Chan is buried fully in Felix’s tight heat. Minho climbs onto the bed behind Felix, getting on his knees between Chan’s legs and pulling out a piece of fine silk. “Relax, alright?” he asks Felix, who nods quickly, dying to move. Minho covers his eyes, tying the fabric behind his head, and ensures it’s in place. “Too tight?” he checks in.
“No, it’s fine,” Felix assures him, taking a deep breath at his loss of sight. 
“You know your colors, baby boy?” he asks, and Felix nods quickly. “We can stop or take a break whenever you need to, remember?”
“Yes, hyung,” he says sweetly, and Minho gently squeezes his shoulders. 
“You can start moving then,” he says, and Felix experimentally lifts his hips before sinking back down onto him. Chan’s head drops back into the pillow at this, and pleasure slowly floods his face, increasing with every roll of Felix’s hips. Minho stays behind Felix to mirror the situation and chuckles when Chan soon gets a little frustrated, ever needy for more.
“Lix,” Chan groans. “Stop being sloppy, you're usually not that shy,” he curses softly, and Felix whines in response.
Minho gently slaps his butt. “Come on, pretty boy.”
“Can’t,” Felix whimpers, and looking a little closer, Minho notices how hard his thighs are trembling already. 
“Felix,” Minho says, and Felix fears the worst already until his hyung starts laughing. “Please tell me you didn't spend your all on Leebit and have nothing left for Chan.”
“I-uh,” he stammers, eyes brimming with tears behind the blindfold. “I'm sorry.”
“God, you're such a dumb baby,” Chan laughs, now knowing what's the issue. “So needy you're too tired now. Well, you'll have to take your punishment then.”
Minho giggles as Chan plants his feet on the mattress, grabbing Felix's hips. “No touching,” he reminds him as Felix wants to steady himself on Chan's chest. He scoots closer and wraps his arms around him, letting him lean against him. 
Felix shudders at Minho's hands lingering on his skin, suddenly very aware of him behind him. He can feel his breath ghosting over the back of his neck, warm hands resting on his stomach. The fabric of Minho's shirt feels nice against his bare skin, and he can't bite back a soft moan at the feeling. “Minho hyung,” he whimpers, and Minho chuckles, teasingly roaming his hands all over his stomach and up to his chest. At the same time, Chan sets a fast, harsh pace that has him bouncing on top of him. Felix can't do much besides moaning and babbling nonsense, head dropping back against Minho's shoulder weakly. 
“Dumb baby can't even finish the job on his own,” Chan growls at him, his grip on his hips bruising. His head falls back in pure bliss as Felix clenches around him with a whimper, and Minho gently rubs his thigh. “God, Felix, you're so tight,” he groaned. 
“Such a good boy, making our Channie hyung feel so good,” Minho praises him, fingers brushing over his nipples. 
“Minho, please,” he whimpers. 
“Please, what?” Minho asks patiently, hand only running down to his lower abdomen and stopping right before where he needed him most. 
“I'm so close,” he whimpers. 
“No, no, no cumming until I say so, Lixie boy,” he shakes his head. “You've been a bad little boy, and our hardworking Channie hyung deserves to feel good. So you'll wait like the good boy you promised to be.”
Chan moans out about as loud at his praise as Felix does at his scolding. “Fuck, kitten,” he curses and pounds up in him. “He feels so good.” 
Minho smirks and gently rubs his thigh. “Mhm, hear that, Felix? You're doing a great job.” Minho frowns as he doesn't get an answer, and glancing down, he notices Felix is digging his nails into his own thighs so hard he draws blood. A soft sniffle can be heard, and Felix's moans sound whiny and wet. Minho changes positions, sitting on his knees in front of him and spreading his legs so Chan can still move beneath him. “Lix, baby?” he asks softly and takes off the blindfold. “Color?”
“G-Green,” he choked out, eyes rolling back with a weak moan. “Hyungie, please.”
Minho's eyes widen as Chan teasingly grabs his bum with one hand, squeezing gently. He presses back with a soft moan, knowing that nothing set off Chan as much as the pleasure of his partners. Judging by Felix's desperate face, he couldn't keep it in long anymore. Maybe he'd have to help a little. He starts grinding down against Chan's firm stomach, moaning genuinely at the friction. “Feels so good, Channie hyung, making your boys feel so good,” he tells him, drawing his next moan out, not quite picking up on how hard he makes it for Felix to focus. “Stop that,” he tells Felix very gently and takes his hands to stop him from digging his nails even deeper into his thighs. 
Felix shudders and feels his stomach tightening painfully. “Daddy,” he whimpers. 
“Don't try begging him now,” Minho says, giggling at the guttural groan leaving Chan. Chan tenses up beneath them, pounding his dick into Felix with a few desperate moans, and coats his walls with his release. Chan has barely moaned out Felix's name as Felix already spasms with a cry. Thick ropes of cum cover his stomach, his thighs…and Minho's expensive shirt. Minho blinks down at the mess, a little stunned, before his eyes are back on Felix, who's slumping forward. He catches him in his arms as Felix sobs into his chest, apologizing timidly and crying out as Chan is still moving. His grip on his shirt is tight as one desperate, broken moan after another is being punched out of him. 
“Minho, hyung, I'm sorry,” he cries, and Minho's heart drops a little. “Feels so good, can't-,” he breaks off with a shout as Chan hits his prostate. 
“Felix,” Minho tries to be firm, but he can't. Not when he is such a mess as he had never been before, sobbing from pleasure and guilt into his chest. 
“I'm so close,” he sobs. “So sensitive, so good, daddy,” he cries, and Chan's eyes roll back with a loud moan. 
Minho watches Felix worriedly and scoots as close as possible, hugging him tight. “You're okay,” he whispers only for him to hear. “You can cum, don't hold back.” Minho kisses his hair and feels Felix gripping the back of his shirt tightly as he soon tenses up again and chokes on a sob. “Color?”
“Y-Yellow.”
 “Channie hyung, slow down,” Minho says, and Chan does immediately. He gently lifts Felix off Chan's lap and pulls him into his arms. Chan doesn't waste much time and lifts them both into his lap, leaning against the bed frame. 
He worriedly rubs his back and tries to meet Felix's eyes. “Felix, baby, you're okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No, you didn't,” he quickly assures him and nuzzles his face into his touch as he cups his cheek. “Felt so good, promise.”
Minho lovingly runs his hand through his hair. “You got a little overwhelmed, love?”
Felix shakes his head and sniffles softly, shivering heavily in their arms. “I just feel guilty.”
“Guilty?” Chan asks puzzled, and grabs a blanket to cover them all and ensure Felix won't get cold. 
“For what?” Minho asks gently, and Felix contorts his face in embarrassment. “You can tell us, sunshine.”
“For breaking the rule,” he says timidly and doesn't dare to look at them. “And I didn't take proper care of you, Chan, and…and I made a mess all over you, Minho, even though you told me not to,” he says, and big tears spill down his cheeks. “I'm sorry for messing up repeatedly; please don't hate me.”
“Felix, baby,” Chan says soothingly, running his hand through his hair. “It's okay, it happens.”
“We don't hate you. We never would,” Minho firmly shakes his head. 
“But you didn't touch me in two weeks,” Felix whimpers softly, knowing he's being ridiculous. He got kisses, long hugs, and cuddles…just no sex, not after teasing Minho that badly in public and almost getting him into trouble. 
Minho's face falls, a sudden anxious hint clouding his expression and filling his eyes. “Lixie,” he breathes out, heart sinking to his stomach. “I didn't-I'd never-,” he stutters, looking at Chan for help. 
“Minho only did that because it was the consequence you agreed to when he told you to stop teasing,” he says gently. “Not because he hates you.”
“I thought it would be okay,” Felix says quietly and sniffles. “But it wasn't. Wanted you so bad it hurt.”
Minho feels his eyes brimming with tears and blinks stubbornly. “You should've told me, baby,” he says softly and cups his face. “I should've known.”
“I'm sorry,” Felix rasps timidly. 
“No, I am,” Minho shakes his head and searches his eyes. “I should've noticed,” he says, biting back tears as Chan's hand finds his lower back, squeezing his hip. “I'm sorry, baby,” he whispers, pulling him into a tight hug, burying his face in his hair. He meets eyes with Chan, who flashes him a gentle smile and swallows thickly. His heart pounds in his chest as Felix buries himself in his chest, holding onto him tightly. “I love you so much, okay?”
“I know,” Felix says softly and squeezes him tightly. “Just missed you.” 
“Missed you too,” Minho tells him sincerely, blinking stubbornly, not wanting to cry. 
Felix lifts his head a little and kisses Minho's neck very gently. “I love you too, hyungie.” 
A shuddering breath leaves Minho's lips, and he closes his eyes, grip tightening around him. A hot tear slips down his cheek, and before he knows it, Chan's there, pulling them both into one of his warm hugs. He curses himself mentally because being in Chan's arms, his safe place always tempts him to show his emotions freely. He bites his lower lip stubbornly but breaks when Chan plants a kiss on his hair, and Felix nuzzles his face into his neck. A soft sound escapes his lips, and the hold of his boyfriends tightens immediately. Hot tears spill down his cheeks before he can do anything against it, and he curls in on himself a little, trying to hide. 
“Minho hyung,” Felix whispers, shocked, helplessly cupping his face and uselessly wiping his tears. “Don't cry, hyungie, I'm sorry.”
Minho firmly shakes his head and sucks in a sharp breath as Chan kisses his temple and pulls him in close. “Kitten, it's okay,” Chan tells him, kissing his hair and glancing down at him. “Lixie knows you didn't want to hurt him.”
Minho looks up at Felix through tears and grabs his hands. “I'd never hate you, you hear me? I swore to always keep you safe with me.”
“I know,” Felix nods quickly and intertwines their fingers. “I got insecure, I know you don't.”
“I love you so fucking much, sunshine,” Minho sniffles and giggles wetly as Felix hugs him very tightly. “God, you don't even know,” he whispers, burying his face in his hair. 
“My boys,” Chan coos softly and cuddles them close. “I love you two so much.”
“We love you too, Channie hyung,” Felix answers for both of them. 
“Let me clean you up, okay?” Minho asks gently and wipes his cheeks quickly. 
“But you didn't even get to cum,” Felix points out guiltily. 
“Don't worry, I'm alright,” Minho shakes his head and searches his eyes. “Please?”
Chan gently squeezes Felix's thigh, giving him a subtle hint. “Okay,” he nods gently. 
“I'll draw you two a bath,” he announces and slips out of their hug, wrapping the blanket tightly around them. 
Felix watches him worriedly, and once Minho's busy in the bathroom, he glances at Chan. “I hurt him, didn't I?”
Chan looks after Minho thoughtfully before glancing down at him. “I don't think you hurt him…he's probably just worried now to cross your boundaries.”
“I'm sorry, Channie,” he whispers, and Chan's hold on him tightens. 
“Baby, it's okay. It's good that you told us. I didn't realize you were feeling this way either,” he tells him, kissing his head. “Minho is serious when he says he has a soft spot for you. Yeah, I know he gets really sweet and needy with me if he wants to and sometimes is a little bossy with you, but…he'd stop whatever he's doing if you need him. No matter how, no matter where he is.”
Felix chews on his lower lip. “Just want him to feel safe with us like I do with him. He's been so open and happy lately; I don't want to ruin that.”
“You're not. You won't,” Chan reminds him, kissing his forehead and soothingly caressing his hair.
Minho comes back and seeing the shimmer in his eyes, his fingers nervously tapping against his thigh, Chan knows he heard them. “I'm…everything's ready.”
Felix makes grabby hands in his direction. “Carry me, please?”
Minho chokes on his giggle, face softening as he steps closer. “Come here, baby boy,” he says softly and scoops him up. Felix clings to him, and Minho briefly buries his face in his shoulder, planting a tiny kiss there before carrying him to the bathroom. He lowers him into the warm water, smiling at the little sigh that escapes his lips. Minho gently brushes back his hair and flashes him a timid smile. “Feels good?”
“Yeah,” Felix nods, beaming at him tiredly. 
Chan joins them with some fresh clothes for the three of them. He puts them down by the sink for now and steps in front of Minho. “Kitten?”
“Hm?” he hums, eyes flickering at him anxiously. 
Chan smiles softly and soothingly rubs his shoulders. “You're perfect, you know that?” he asks gently, and Minho's eyes brim with tears. 
“I don't,” he whispers, lowering his gaze guiltily at the pain in Chan's sweet chocolate orbs.
“Minnie baby,” he breathes out and pulls him into the tightest hug so far. 
Minho closes his eyes feeling as if Chan puts all his broken pieces right back together. He doesn't really pay attention to the sound of water splashing, but suddenly, Felix is right behind him, hugging him just as tight. Minho giggles at the feeling. “Baby, you're making everything wet.”
“Not my first mess today,” Felix teases lightly, and Minho can't hold back a genuine laugh. “Join us, please?”
“I can't,” he shakes his head, and Felix's face falls worriedly, looking at Chan. 
“Why's that, kitten?” Chan asks calmly. 
Minho pulls back and blushes furiously. “Because I'm…uhm,” he squirms a little and bites his lower lip before whispering his little secret. Since leaving the house with Chan today, a certain favorite toy has been resting between his clenching walls. 
Chan's eyes widen. “The whole time?”
Minho nods shyly. Felix giggles at him, and after a glance at him, Minho blushes even more. “I wanted to give you the remote to tease me, but that's when we decided to go home.”
“Once Channie and I aren't such a mess anymore…can we take care of you?” Felix asks softly, and Minho almost moans out loud at the thought. 
Whenever the three of them were together, Felix, their little baby, was the natural center of attention, and he didn't mind one bit. The thought of not only Chan but Felix focusing solely on him already made him painfully hard. “Please,” he whispers before he can think it through. 
Chan smiles, relieved, as Felix seems to have found a way to show Minho how much they loved him without hovering. “If that's what my kitten wants, it's what he'll get.”
Minho smiles shyly before waving them off. “Come on now, you two are a sticky mess.”
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MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES
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@bunnystruggles @atinyniki @mal-lunar-28 @lilmisssona @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28 @rylea08
191 notes · View notes
y4z1 · 7 months
Text
bf!Felix who'd.....(MDNI)
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bf!Felix who'd love to bake with you
bf!Felix who'd play videogames with you and start whining when he loses
bf!Felix who'd take you to Australia with him to meet his family
bf!Felix who'd ask you to teach him how to braid hair so he could do it for you
bf!Felix who'd give you back hugs all the time
bf!Felix who'd make brownies for you when your feeling down
bf!Felix who'd use his deep voice to fluster you
bf!Felix who'd love going to the beach with you
bf!Felix who'd carefully sneak up behind you and use his deep voice to whisper in your ear and scare you
bf!Felix who'd use a blanket to turn into a burrito with you
bf!Felix who'd love to cuddle you
bf!Felix who'd watch movies with you while your both cuddled up together
bf!Felix who'd get you both matching onesies
bf!Felix who'd never let go of your hand because it brings him comfort knowing your by his side
bf!Felix who'd love seeing you in his hoodies
bf!Felix who'd give you body massages when you've had a long day at work
bf!Felix who'd call you to tell you about his day
bf!Felix who'd ask you for help to put on his tie
bf!Felix who'd stop mid track while on his walk with you to pet a cat
bf!Felix who'd borrow your jewelry every once in a while
bf!Felix who'd pull your cheeks and bite them at random times
bf!Felix who'd steal your drinks all the time as if he isn't a millionaire
bf!Felix who'd love to play around in the snow with you
bf!Felix who'd be extremely tiny and cute around you
bf!Felix who'd watch the sunset with you
bf!Felix who'd take you shopping with him
bf!Felix who'd LOVE going to sleep with you in his arms
bf!Felix who'd have a corruption kink
bf!Felix who'd love seeing the way your tits bounce when he thrusts in and out of you
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640 notes · View notes
charmercharm3r · 10 months
Text
Investments
LFX
Masterlist
wc: 2.3k
Requested
Synopsis: Felix thinks a flashy coat will make him more intimidating.
warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, softdom!Felix, fem!reader, not really mafia but he's definitely a criminal lolll, money laundering?, oral (f), porn w no plot lol, piv, cream pie
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“Don’t you think it’s a bit… excessive?”
The fluffy, exaggerated red pelt that covered his shoulders looked almost too heavy for Felix’s slim frame. Though, it suited him well.
“Not at all. If anything, I don’t think it’s excessive enough. I want everyone to know who’s in charge.” Felix adjusted the collar in the mirror and slicked the right side of his pretty blonde hair back.
“You’re already hard to miss as it is, babe.” You stood from your spot on the bed, making your way behind him and placing your hand over his to get him to face you. Up close, you could see how well the bright red color brought out his skin tone, freckles lining his nose and upper cheeks in a kind facade. Felix gazed down at you sweetly as you reached up to fix the collar yourself, “however, you look hot in red.”
A sly smirk spread across his face, “you think so? Hm, then perhaps this is the perfect thing to wear to the office today.” Leaning in and cupping your cheeks, Felix placed a quick peck to your forehead. “Join me?”
You knew what he did for work wasn’t necessarily… legal, and that it was incredibly dangerous. But Felix assured you time after time that the fear of getting caught wasn’t even on his radar and that he had protection plans in place. That was something you didn’t question further as it probably wasn’t something you should know for your own sanity. Hell, you probably should’ve ran in the opposite direction when he told you what his job was. But for some reason, you just couldn’t.
The warehouse was so far off the map that after all this time together, you still got confused every time you went. But Felix’s hand in yours as his other gripped the steering wheel was comfort enough that the two of you weren’t lost despite not having seen a single building for the past twenty minutes. The enormous coat was discarded in the backseat, leaving your long term boyfriend in just a gray tank top and matching red pants, and to say you wanted to jump his bones would’ve been an understatement. He knew how much you adored his body, even more when there was just a thin barrier between you and his skin. It was like he dressed this way knowing you couldn’t say no to spending more time with him, even if it was at his scary, illegal job.
There were no other cars in the lot as the two of you pulled up, but a single text message and the garage doors of the old warehouse opened up and Felix entered. Ominous as always, you got chills as the dark interior shadowed your car before your eyes adjusted to the dim light. Large machines were lined up in the middle, rows of people wearing gloves and handling the product with tongs and tweezers working away at them doing god knows what. If Felix had told you what he did for a living before bringing you here to witness the stacks of washing machines and dryers tumbling loads of green paper, you would’ve laughed in his face. How could such a charming and sweet person as he is, be involved in money laundering? Let alone, running the entire thing?
Felix didn’t let you dwindle on the recollection too long, putting the car in park and strutting to your side to open the door. You gave him a gentle kiss on the lips as he crowded your view of the working floor, he never did like you looking too closely, not that you were complaining. The less you knew, the better.
You stepped out of the vehicle and opened the back passenger door to grab his obnoxiously large coat, draping it over his shoulders to take his hand as he led you towards his office.
“On track today?” Felix called out to the person at the end of the pathway overlooking the floor.
“Hello Sir, greetings Missus. Ahead of the game today, actually. You were right, new machines were worth the investment. What a… wonderful coat,” the goon gave a quick bow and kept his head low as you and Felix got closer.
“I always am. And thank you,” your boyfriend said lowly, patting the worker on the shoulder when the pair of you passed him and entered his office.
Only once finally in the confines of his private room and locking the door behind him did Felix let out a quivering sigh. Though, you didn’t ask why. He knew you were there to lend an ear if he decided he needed the support. His work was a touchy subject, you didn’t want to add to his already heavy burden by pestering him. However, it seemed he was in a chatty mood.
“I hate that guy,” Felix admitted, coming in close and hugging you from behind with his back to the shaded window that overlooked the work floor.
You melted into the warmth of his chest and coziness of the fluffy red coat, “why?”
“He’s scared of me. I don’t like people who are scared of me. I’m not scary, am I, sweetheart?” He hid his face in the crook of your neck and lowered his voice to rumble against your skin.
“Not in the slightest. But I decided that before I knew you were a crime lord.” Felix laughed deeply and spun you around, taking your cheeks in his hands again.
“So you’re not even the slightest bit afraid?” He was smirking that stupidly attractive smirk and tilting his head so catlike.
You shivered, but not from his words so much as the way he was looking at you, that same glimmer of mischief in his eyes that you knew so well. You shook your head, no, “should I be afraid?”
Felix sucked in a deep breath before letting it out and coming in close to your face. You could feel his warm breath against your lips, grazing your own but not quite touching, though you wished he would. Years together and you still feel the electric shock whenever he so much as looks your way. “You don’t have to be,” he whispered and paused as your breath caught in your throat. “But everyone else should.”
He crashed into you with force so strong that you stumbled back until your ass hit the desk. Felix immediately drew your dress high on your hips and lifted you on to it without breaking the kiss, roaming his hands up and down your body while you laced your fingers in his hair. You struggled to breath at the sheer intensity at which he ravaged your mouth, tongues and spit mixing and echoing throughout the thin walled room. You silently thanked the heavens that the blinds were closed, it wasn’t particularly high up on your to-do list to be watched by all of his employees.
Nipping lightly at your neck then falling to his knees in front of you, Felix dragged your underwear just below your knees and ducked under them to toss your legs over his shoulders and spread them wide. He dove in without hesitation to lick a fat strip up the center of your core and have you whine out in sudden stimulation. As if he didn’t have you last night as well, he suckled and slurped and tongued at you like a hungry dog, no interest in stopping or slowing down. Felix was especially good with his lips, plump and thick cupping around your bundle of nerves so nicely as you clenched around nothing, eventually enticing your first orgasm out of you from his mouth alone. You squeezed his head between your legs and knocked away whatever was on his desk as you leaned back to keep from falling over, calling out his name with a high pitched cry.
He huffed and puffed for air when you finally released him, already pulling his pants down and clearing the desk behind you entirely so you could lay back. Felix guided your knees around his torso and lazily pumped himself a few times before swiping his red tip at your wetness. Between the delirious satisfaction you felt and the similarity of the color of the coat and the head of his cock, you couldn’t suppress the giggle leaving your mouth. “Oh no,” you hummed, “such a big, scary villain! What are you gonna do to me?” The feigned fear made him grin down at you and pull the top of your dress as far down as it’d go. In the process, he got a little too excited and ripped the seam down the front and side of the dress.
“Gonna make you scream my name, pretty baby. Gonna make sure everyone out there knows who you belong to.” He swiped the tip across your sensitive clit, making you whine a little more, but feel even more desperate for his touch. You pulled him down by the collar of the coat for a heavy, heated kiss, Felix falling and catching himself with both hands on either side of your head. Amidst the saliva being swapped he managed to blindly fumble to find your entrance and push in, both you moaning into one another's mouths.
The stretch was dizzying, you dug your heels into his back to reach further into your deepest parts and nudge the sweet spot. The coat was proving to be rather practical, making a wonderful harness of sorts for you to hold on to just because you wanted him to stay close.
Felix moved his hips slowly at first, working you up and letting you have your way for a few moments longer. But he was growing too desperate, unable to hold back now that he was buried in your warm, wet, pulsing walls. He placed a few more loving kisses to your lips knowing nothing he was doing to you was anywhere near appropriate for work. Not that he cared, he’s the boss, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.
Including fucking you senseless for everyone to hear.
He stood up again and let your hands keep hold of the hem of his fluffy red coat, big enough to cover your body if anyone decided to come wandering in. Felix brought his thumb to your mouth and pushed in, letting your saliva coat the digit to and bring it back down to your clit, rubbing slow, perfectly practiced figure eights into it. You convulsed tighter around his cock, slick sounds filling the room and he was hardly even moving. Though, as his pace picked up, the wetness was overtaken by skin on skin and the creaking of the wooden desk beneath you. Deep grunts accompanied your wails of pleasure as his thumb failed to cease its assault to your nerves and make you feel trapped in a whirlwind of bliss. His smell surrounded you and made it hard to breathe, his skin was so warm and he sounded so pretty, you couldn’t focus on anything except him, him, him.
“C’mon baby, where are your manners? It’s polite to praise whoever is doing you a service,” Felix’s voice seemed to have dropped into octaves you didn’t think was possible despite knowing you’d heard it hundreds of times. He never failed to amaze you.
“Fuck– more, baby, please. So sexy, so good, so big– ahh!” His pace picked up exponentially, short and quick ruts into your cunt instead of long strides to hit your g-spot at a consistent pace. Eyes rolling back, you could feel the knot in your belly tightening every time his pelvis hit yours, every delicious rub against your clit, he knew exactly how to make you melt.
“Say my name,” he demanded, his lower lip finding its way between his teeth and brow furrowing in concentration.
“Li– fuck– Lix, baby, god–”
“Again,” a not light, but not too rough of a slap he sent to your ass, causing your hips to buck into his hand.
“Baby, please! Gonna–”
“Say. My. Name,” each word menacingly punctuated in between thrusts.
“Fuck– F– Felix!”
The cry must’ve reached the logical part of his brain and allowed mercy, “shit– cum, sweetheart.”
He fucked you through your orgasm, letting both his hands grip your waist and take advantage of the erratic movement of your walls, quick staccato’d thrusts into you that prolonged the high. Once the light faded from the back of your eyelids, you were able to coerce your boyfriend into his own bliss, “fill me up, baby. Show everyone, who do I belong to?”
Felix’s head fell back as he sunk into you and let the groan rumble from within his chest, seed coating your walls and milking him dry. His hips twitched as he attempted to come back to earth and regained his breath. Slowly his head rolled back around to look down at you with the largest smile, “you should come to work with me more often.”
“I don’t think your employees would appreciate me taking up all your time,” you could only manage to whisper seeing as your throat was dry and sore.
“Doesn’t matter what they think. They work for me, I’m in charge.” Felix bent over and kissed you, soft and sweet, the same way you knew him to be. You hummed against his lips, “mhm.” 
He pulled out shortly after a few more moments of reassuring smooches, maneuvering to step aside and pull your panties back up while readjusting your dress. Felix laughed at the state of you while he fixed himself up as well, patting down your messy hair and gesturing at your smudged lipstick.
Thumb to your lips, there was a knock at the door. Felix yelled, “come in,” to reveal the same worker from earlier.
“Sorry to…” the employee looked at you then at his boss, “...interrupt. But Mr. Bang is here to collect.” Your boyfriend merely nodded his head and the goon disappeared again.
Felix turned to you, taking you in his arms again for a tight embrace and chaste pecks to your cheek. “Sorry, sweetheart. Time for business.”
-
tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @lvrhyuka @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @leebitsimpracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @kaitchan @iadorethemskz
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in2heartz · 8 months
Text
ot8 comparing you to their ex - hurt to comfort
wc - 6495
warnings - angsty, comfort, comparing to ex, mentions of overworking (reader + other person), crying, self criticism/issues of self worth (reader + other), fighting w hyunjin + jeongin a little bit, mentions of bad past relationship (members), petnames (angel, sweetheart, honey, baby, babe), cuddling. that should be it but lmk if not :))
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
chan
“i just don’t understand why you won’t at least try. it can’t hurt to take a break for a little bit. maybe just a day or two?” you suggested to chan, your boyfriend who could now be seen with his head down on his desk and his arms brought up around it.
“it’s not that simple,” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair.
“i understand, chan. trust me, i really do. but i don’t think the company will mind if you just take the weekend off… there’s nothing too crazy coming up anyways.”
this caused him to snap. his head instantly shot up and he looked at you like you had 3 eyes.
“nothing crazy coming up? are you insane, yn? and do you think this nagging helps at all? it’s not always about being busy. every day i have to come here and hear what everyone else has to say, now my girlfriend too? - was never like this. god, it’s exhausting.” he yelled, fists coming down to the desk and the loud bang making you jump.
“maybe you should go back to -, then. i’m sure she’d know exactly what to do, christopher.” you held back tears at your own words, and the second you walked out of his office, they all came streaming down.
you could barely see anything as you walked back to your apartment. you knew it wasn’t safe to be walking around at night in this state, but after chan said what he said, you couldn't care less about your safety.
the one thing that made all of this sting more was that you knew chan couldn’t feel anything as of now. he’d get so wrapped up in his anger, unable to think of anything else but what was pissing him off. for hours after you left he sat there sighing, throwing old water bottles, kicking the wall, whatever he could do to try to get all his emotion out. he hated not being listened to and at that moment, that’s all you were doing to him. he didn’t even mean to bring up his ex, it was all heat-of-the-moment words that he didn’t think about before saying.
by 3 in the morning, he had finally realized what he did wrong. he knew how much you hated his ex-girlfriend and how hurt you probably felt at the comparison to someone who treated him so awfully. now, he was sighing and kicking his feet over his actions, rolling his eyes at his stupidity and lack of respect for you.
at around 5 am, you were suddenly woken up by rapid, harsh knocks on your door. you groggily stumbled to the door, cracking your neck because you fell asleep slumped onto your kitchen counter.
“yn, let me in, please. i need to fix this…” he croaked, sounding groggy himself.
“chan, we’re not doing this right now. it’s like 5 in the morning and i have to go to work in a few hours.” you said through the door, contemplating on letting him in or not.
it would hurt to let him come in and talk, but it would hurt more to leave him out there. you also knew even if you did leave him there, he wouldn’t shut up.
“look, i know i made a mistake and i won’t stay here long, i promise. if you said that to me, i wouldn’t want to see your face either, so i’ll make it quick.”
you groaned, sliding down the door and flopping onto the floor.
“fine. seriously make it quick, chris. i need to be up in a few hours.”
“okay, okay. i’m gonna sound like a broken record because we do this too much lately. but i’m shutting you out because i’m under a lot of pressure and you’re my only hope of relaxing. and i swear this isn’t an excuse, i mean it. i depend on you so much for comfort and peace and i know that isn’t fair and i want to work on it-“
“chris, you’re already rambling.” you murmur.
“i’m sorry, i’m just nervous and i feel guilty… i’ll make it short, now. i was really fucked up lashing out at you like that, but also for comparing you to someone who is so dead to me. i take you for granted, sometimes. i’ll admit that. all you want for me is the best and i just can’t see it. i don’t know if it’s my insecurities or whatever it is, but from now on i’m going to work on it and i’m going to do whatever you tell me to. i trust you and i love you, yn. i hate saying it, but i’m sorry. i don’t want to hurt you anymore. please forgive me..?”
it was tough, but you forgave him. sure, it could’ve been the lack of sleep or the fear of your relationship crumbling, but you did it anyways.
he held you close that night, much tighter than usual. you even think you heard him cry himself to sleep, but you didn’t mention it. small words of,
“im so sorry… you let me hold you like this and it makes me feel like you’re a piece of glass just seconds from shattering. you’re too good to me…” or “i promise im never going to hurt you again. my angel. my perfect, precious angel. god, how could i be so stupid and make you feel like this? who even am i…”
despite this, his words manifested. he kept a clean mind and clean mouth, always listening to you and trying to have a positive mind. he came home every night and sang or cuddled you to sleep, even if it meant that he’d have to peel himself from you to finish up one last segment of the song he was working on. he was tough with apologies, but he always kept a promise.
minho
one of the first things that made you attracted to minho was the way he made you laugh. you had a specific sense of humor and somehow minho matched that perfectly. he loved making you laugh too. he doesn’t know how, but whenever you came around the jokes just came to him and it was like he knew exactly what to say to hear that pretty laugh of yours.
though, as you continued with your relationship, sometimes the jokes got a little too far. of course, he never meant to hurt you or say them on purpose, he just loved a bit of teasing. he thought the blush on your cheeks and the way you playfully slapped his chest was so cute that it egged him on even more.
tonight was one of those nights that minho had you in a laughing fit. you were nearly on the ground from how hard you were laughing, clutching your aching stomach, and wiping the tears off your face. it was all fun and games until he said the worst joke you’ve heard in your whole life. and it wasn’t the worst joke ever on purpose.
“i remember one time i made - laugh so hard she peed herself. too bad that’s gone.” he rolled his eyes and giggled, trying to imply his sarcasm.
it didn’t work.
you instantly stopped laughing, got up from the couch, walked straight to your bedroom, and locked the door behind you.
he remained on the couch and blinked, trying to process what he had done wrong as he was just making you laugh more than he’s seen in his whole life. he went back to all the things he said and practically slapped himself in the face when it finally clicked. he thought to himself, how could i make such a stupid fucking joke?
he softly walked to the door, lightly knocking on it.
“yn? sweetheart? can you let me in, please?”
there was no reply. he stood for a bit before trying again,
“honey? i’m sorry. just let me explain myself, please? i know it sounded bad, but it came out wrong.”
you were curled into yourself on the ground by the door. you couldn’t reach your bed in time because the tears clouded your eyes before you could even try walking to it.
“go away, minho.” you kicked the door in response to him.
his face turned sour at the sound of you using his name. he didn’t like that, not one bit.
he decided to give you some space because he didn’t want to upset you further. he cleaned up the living room from the remnants of your night in, switched out the laundry, and cleaned up the kitchen. his eyes were burning and his body felt heavy, he looked at the clock and realized it was 2 in the morning.
he sighed and walked over to the door again, almost knocking but deciding to just see if you had finally unlocked it. when he opened the door, his heart dropped and he was greeted with an instant wave of guilt.
you were curled up on the floor, still in just your shorts and a tee shirt, but you also had his sweatshirt tightly held in your arms. he wanted to punch himself right then and there. instead, he kneeled to you and brushed the hair out of your face. looking at you with so much love, but feeling so much hatred for himself filling up his mind.
“sweetheart? you need to wake up, honey. you can’t sleep on the floor.” he whispered.
his heart melted when you nuzzled your face into his leg with a soft smile on your face. even in your sleep and when he pulled the most douchebag move, you still loved him so much.
he told himself he’d talk to you properly in the morning as he always prioritized you getting proper rest. he lifted you into the bed and tucked you in nice and tight. this night he didn’t resist your need to cling to him, too. he let you wrap yourself around him and scooch your face right into his neck.
he had to fight back tears just a little bit,
“my yn. how could i take away such a beautiful noise from you? we were having so much fun and i ruined it just like that. took away that cute laugh and that pretty smile. i can be so stupid sometimes. i always worry about losing you or not being good enough for you and then i say something like that… it’s stupid. i know it was a joke, but that still doesn’t make it okay. i don’t even want to think of how you felt. all curled up on the floor freezing like that… god, how stupid can i be?”
he kissed your forehead and stroked your head, looking down at you so fondly and thinking about how he wanted to keep you protected and shielded from all the bad in the world. he rehearsed in his head exactly what he would say in the morning and how he’d make it up to you. maybe he’d get up extra early to cook your favorite breakfast. he’d put the cats in those matching outfits you bought for them but he always laughed at so you never put them on. he’d take you out to a nice restaurant, maybe let you sleep in extra long so he could go out and buy you a new dress just for the occasion. he had lots of ideas that he knew would never take it back, but at least would hopefully show how much he loves you.
changbin
he knew how easy it was for you to get overwhelmed with work and he usually knew how to handle it. he’d let you talk it out with him whether that be through ranting or wanting his advice. he’d give suggestions on what you should do to make yourself better or what you could change to make things work out on your end.
however, you were only human and sometimes these things just didn’t work. you’d get too in your head, far beyond help and struggling to even get out of your bed in the morning. he’d be out of the house by then, so he couldn’t do much to encourage you to get up and go on with your day.
you started to take advantage of this. you took more days off or came home earlier than usual. he could tell you seemed happier, but almost too carefree. it was common that you’d have at least one bad day at work during the whole week, so as the days went on and you were still doing just fine, he became a bit concerned.
“i noticed you haven’t been going to work as much. is everything okay?” he asked while washing up after dinner.
“oh yea, everything is fine. they’ve just been giving me a lot of time off,” you explain.
“really? you’d think with everything going on that’s the last thing they’d want to do.”
you ignored him and continued reading your book on the couch. you could see him from the corner of your eye and all he did was shrug at you and go back to what he was doing. you expected that was the end of the conversation, but it sure wasn’t.
“i know you’re lying to me and i don’t like it. we don’t do that in this relationship. why won’t you talk to me so we can figure something out?”
you sighed, “it’s not that simple, changbin. i’m not lying, i just don’t feel like explaining.”
he rolled his eyes at you and turned to face the wall.
“- never did this. lied and tried to hide from me.” he mumbled.
your heart dropped to your stomach and you felt like you could puke right then and there.
“hm?”
“nothing.” he replied.
“no, i heard what you said. say it again.”
“you know i didn’t mean it, yn. just go to sleep.” he groaned.
he was right. he didn’t mean it and just slipped up. that’s all it was.
except, even though he was right, it didn’t feel like him saying it out loud was. you tossed and turned all night thinking about what he said. you compared yourself to her so much as is, that his words stung even more.
eventually, your constant moving around woke him up.
“yn? why are you still up? what time is it?” he groggily asked.
“um… it’s three in the morning.”
he shot up in the bed, “what?! did something happen? why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”
suddenly, the tears started flowing. you didn’t even feel like you had to cry or you at least didn’t notice before he woke up. his arms wrapped around you and he pulled your face into his chest, shushing you and telling you you’re okay.
“what’s going on, yn? you can talk to me. i won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. just tell me what’s wrong so i can try to help you.”
“was already having such a bad week and then you said something about your stupid ex and made it even worse!” you sobbed, making his hold on you get even tighter.
“oh, baby. i’m so sorry. i didn’t even realize i said that. i’ve been so tired lately, i can’t even think straight. you know i would never want to compare you to someone like that. i’ve just been worried about you and i hate when you lie to me.”
“i don’t mean to lie… i’m just embarrassed. i don’t want you to think i’m lazy or something. i just got so overwhelmed and i couldn’t do it anymore. and i didn’t want to make you more stressed or-.”
he knew he had to calm you down, so he pressed his finger to your lip.
“you don’t have to explain, babe. i know how hard it is. let’s just focus on getting some rest now and we can talk about it in the morning, okay? i promise i didn’t mean what i said and i love you more than anything. we’ll get through this together.”
“you promise?” you asked, looking up at him.
he kissed your forehead, “i promise.”
hyunjin
one of your favorite things about hyunjin was his love for art. he put so much thought and passion into his work, treating his pieces like they were his children. as this passion seemed to consume hyunjin, it consumed his time along with him. the issue wasn’t that he wanted to spend time on his art, it was that he got obsessed and toiled with it. he’d overthink every flaw or every color, analyzing every little detail and trying to work around all of them.
his eyes would be burning and red, his lips cracked and dry, his hair unkempt and messy. he was the human embodiment of getting lost in artwork.
you wanted him to fall in love with his art, not resent it but then indulge and fixate. he didn’t know when to take a break and when he got into these phases, he pushed you out. literally and figuratively.
you softly knocked on his studio door, “hyune? will you come out for dinner, please? i’m starting to get worried.”
“i’m fine, yn. i just need to finish this piece and then i’ll come out.” he replied.
“sweetheart, you’ve been saying that for three days… would it help if i came in and checked out what you’re working on? i know sometimes it helps you get some creative flow, hm?”
“this is different, lovely. i just- i can’t talk about it right now, i need to focus. i’ll come get dinner later, leave some on the table for me.” he said. all you did was sigh in response.
you were used to him getting like this every once in a while and it was mostly the stress that it put on him that bothered you. you could tolerate time apart as both of you enjoyed your alone time, but when he got like this, it was so different. he didn’t need his good morning kisses or his goodnight cuddles. he didn’t have food requests or feel the need to tease you about letting him shower with you. it was like all the life got sucked out of him and splattered onto a canvas.
a few hours passed and his dinner was still untouched and cold. it was getting annoying having to do this routine every night. not only were you wasting food, but you were also cleaning up all over again and just getting yourself worked up before you had just a few hours of relaxing.
“hyune, i know you’re busy, but i need you to come out and eat something, okay? i’ll make you something else if you want, i don’t even care at this point as long as you eat something.”
you heard what you assumed to be paint brushes clatter onto the ground and a grumpy hyunjin stomping towards the door. he pulled open the door with force, exposing his exhausted face and paint-covered hands. he looked drained from the inside out. he was pale, his face looking thinned, his hair still a mess. you took it all in before he took a deep breath and spoke,
“yn. i understand you want to help, but i. do. not. want. it. i’m not a baby, i can take care of myself, now please leave me alone.”
you blinked at him and before he could shut the door all the way you heard him mumble,
“- was never like this.”
for a moment you thought you misheard him, “hm? what was that?”
“i said, - was never like this. she let me do whatever i wanted when it came to this stuff. so just let me be. i’m used to it.”
you blinked at the door, this time with anger. you kicked it open with a force you didn’t know you had in you.
“there is no fucking way you just said that to me, hyunjin. all i want to do is take care of you and make sure you’re okay, and that’s what you say to me? and you know what you’re right, she did let you do whatever you wanted. you know why? because she didn’t care. but, guess what, i do, hyunjin! i care so much! i make your meals every day, but you don’t eat them. i run you a bath or a shower, you don’t get in, i try to get you to open a window or just come to bed for one night, and you don’t. i’m sure - was just fine with all of that, hm? so if that’s what you need, you go get that.” you screamed.
it felt like the wind got knocked out of you when you walked away until he grabbed your wrist and it all flooded back in. the second you felt his touch after weeks of being away from it, you broke down, making him break down too. you both sobbed into each other, wrapped up in arms and legs once you both collapsed to the ground.
“i don’t know what’s gotten into me… i’m so sorry, i should’ve never let it get this bad again,” he wailed, stroking your head to try to calm himself down.
“and i should never compare you to someone else, let alone someone like her. you’ve done so much for me and i haven’t appreciated it at all, who even am i? why do i do this?”
you sniffled through deep breaths, trying to gain composure and reply to him.
“hyunjin, it’s not your fault… you’ve always struggled with this, it’s just been a long time since the last episode so i got so worried about you. i know you didn’t mean what you said, but it still hurt me.”
“i know it did, yn and i’m so sorry for that. you know i’m better than this… it's just once i start, i can’t stop and it controls me. next time please just come in. even if i yell, just come in. because the second i see your face it will all go away.” he replied.
“my jinnie, it won’t happen again. i promise you. we will work on this together from now on, okay?”
“okay… i love you, my angel. i don’t want to hurt you like that ever again and i promise i won’t. never again.” he whispered, pressing kisses to the top of your head and pulling you closer into his hold.
han
it was late at night and you and han both finally decided it was time to get some sleep. you were close to falling asleep until you couldn’t ignore how much he was tossing and turning. you’d hear him flip sides, groan, and flip again. until finally, he called for you.
“babe? you up?”
“yes, jisung. i am up. what’s wrong?” you didn’t mean to sound a little harsh, you were just tired and wanted to rest.
he sighed, “i can’t shut my mind off.”
“talk to me then, babe. what’s on your mind?” you said.
“i don’t want to upset you, but i just can’t stop thinking about how - used to treat me. sometimes i wonder if i deserved it and that maybe i shouldn’t be with you because you’re too good to me… or that maybe there is something wrong with me and you’re just with me for the same reasons she was and i just- i don’t know how to feel about anything anymore.” he blurted.
you stayed staring at the ceiling and blinked for what felt like 30 minutes but was probably only 30 seconds.
“fuck. babe? im sorry. that came out so wrong. can i hold you? please?”
“you’re anxiously rambling, jisung. i’m fine.”
“no, you’re not. i know i fucked up so just let me fix it.” he admitted.
you blinked back tears and turned away from him, curling your arms around yourself and hoping he’d get the message and just go to sleep himself.
“i’m not going to sleep without explaining myself whether you’re awake or not, so just please listen. i don’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, i just mean that sometimes i don’t understand how lucky i am to have you. or, how much you love me. i’ll just think to myself, how could anyone love me when i’m like this?”
“like what, jisung? do you even know how important you are to me and how amazing you are? even when you say stupid shit like that, i still can never change how much i love you. why can’t you just accept that she’s gone and i’m here now?” you spat.
he brought himself closer to you, pulling one of your hands into his and squeezing it.
“i can accept it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i’m just scared you’re going to leave me like she did and if you did that, i don’t know what i’d do… it just scares me, yn.” he admits.
“well, you have nothing to be scared of, jisung. because i’ll never leave you. you never have to worry about being treated like that ever again, okay? just don’t say those things anymore… i’m always here to talk to you about it, but you need to learn how worthy you are of love.”
he teared up at that and now fully threw himself on you. he smushed his face into your neck and told you how much he loved you, promising that he would never think that way ever again.
felix
you and felix have been together for nearly a year and the more felix thought about it, the more he wanted you to move in with him. he couldn’t help but think about the fun he’d have with you and how much he craved to see your domestic side more often. he loved waking up next to you and being able to take care of you, so moving in with him would make that much more achievable for both of you. as much as you wanted all of this as well, the thought scared you. you never lived with your past relationships or even with friends and you also found a lot of comfort in living in your own space.
“i don’t know, felix… it just makes me kind of nervous.” you muttered. he pulled you into a hug in response.
“my yn, there’s nothing to be nervous about. we can make a whole plan together if you want, yea? i’ve wanted this for so long and i think it would make both of us so happy. we both want to improve and grow in our relationship, so what harm could living together do?” he asked, looking down at you with a soft smile.
“i just worry because sometimes we both need our own space. and what happens when i’m here alone while you’re gone for a long time? won’t i get lonely because i’ll be so used to having you around? i’m just scared that we’ll be making a mistake.”
as much as he wanted to hear you out, your words were starting to hurt his feelings. he didn’t think you’d ever be so dismissive about doing something so special together.
he stroked your cheek and sighed,
“well, why don’t we just try for a month? i can give you money for your rent, i don’t mind. not if it means i get to have you here every day.”
“felix, i know you’re excited but stop being so adamant. it’s my decision too. i’m just not comfortable with it yet.”
he separated himself from you and began walking toward his room before muttering,
“- was never like this.”
“excuse me? what did you just say?” you questioned, completely taken aback by what he said.
he slammed the door to his room, leaving you in the kitchen and with a silent invite to leave.
you spent the night crying in your bed and thinking about what he said. in your whole time knowing him and dating him, he never brought up his ex. she was mean to him and took him for granted, using his money and taking advantage of his kindness whenever she could.
felix also thought about what he said all night, crying just as much as you, if not more. he hated his ex and was disgusted with himself for even bringing her up, let alone comparing her to you. felix also hated any kind of arguing, so he decided to reach out to you in hopes that you’d hear him out and have an actual conversation with him.
you stared at the phone ringing, hesitating to pick it up and hear his voice again. you were worried he’d tell you to come get all your stuff and not even bother being with him anymore. he wasn’t like that, but all you could do was overthink.
you finally picked up,
“yn? love? you there? are you okay?”
“i’m here. not okay, but here.”
he sighed, already choking up hearing how sad you sounded.
“i know you probably don’t want to hear it, but i want to explain myself. i acted like a child tonight and i shouldn’t have said what i did. we both know the only reason she moved in and you wanting to do the opposite of that should’ve been where i ended the conversation. i always think about living with you and how happy it would make me, but if that’s not what you want, i have to respect that. i’m so sorry once again. i know i hurt you and disappointed you and i’ll never forgive myself for it. i understand if you don’t want to talk to me or even if you’re done with me… i just needed you to know that i genuinely did not mean what i said.”
“felix, you’re lucky i love you so much, or else i’d be at your house with a crowbar and then hers too. i know it was a mistake, but it better not happen again.”
he laughed, “from now on you’re getting whatever you want and more just so you know how much i love you, princess. i’m sorry again and i swear i’ll never stop saying it until you know how much i mean it.”
you unexpectedly showed up at felix’s apartment 20 minutes after the phone call, falling asleep in each other’s arms and wiping the tears off of your faces. he knew you loved him and you knew he loved you, the one thing the both of you needed to finalize was an all-night-long cuddle sesh.
seungmin
you and seungmin were in the kitchen working on making dinner. it was his request to make it with you because he missed you even more than usual that day. whenever he missed you a lot, he always wanted to have some nice quality time with you. whether that be something like making dinner or watching a movie, maybe taking a walk or showering together, he was happy regardless of what it was. you were too.
you were mid-chop when you heard him laugh to himself,
“what?” you asked, grinning at his cute giggle.
“oh, it’s nothing. just a random thought.”
“tell me! that’s not even fair! i tell you everything!” you poked him in his side and got on your tiptoes to get super close to his face.
“okay, okay! i just laughed because - never did this with me. that’s all. see? random thought.” he simply said.
your toes dropped along with your head and shoulders. you turned around to keep chopping, holding back the tears that were burning in your eyes. he shrugged and continued with his stirring until he heard you sniffle.
“you okay?” he asked, turning to look at you, but you had your back facing him.
“yep! just the onions.” you laughed, but he could hear the pain through it. he knew what your real laugh sounded like, it was obvious something was wrong.
he walked over and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your neck,
“what’s wrong, pup? talk to me.”
the pet name sent you over the edge and you instantly started crying your eyes out.
“i just- i don’t understand- how could you-“ you jumbled your words through your sobs and seungmin was caught off guard.
“woah, woah, woah. just breathe for me, yea? are you okay? deep breaths, babe.” he coached you through it, making sure you were taking deep breaths and slowing yourself down.
“that’s it, babe. now can you tell me what’s wrong? what’s got you so upset?” he said, rubbing your back and looking down at you.
“i just… i don’t understand how you could say something like that to me… about your ex.” you sniffled and pushed your weight back onto his chest.
he held you tightly,
“oh, sweetheart, i didn’t mean it like that, babe. i’m sorry. you know i would never compare you to someone like that, right? it just made me laugh because i couldn’t believe how lucky i was. who at our age do you know that is cooking their favorite food in their kitchen with the love of their life, right now? no one. i’m lucky. that’s why i laughed, pup. no other reason, i promise.” he said.
“you scared me…” you pouted. “and i don’t want to hear her name ever again and you have to promise me that i won’t. i love you too much to think of how she treated you. her name doesn’t deserve to come out of that cute mouth.”
he squished your cheeks,
“my baby, you’re so cute. i promise you’ll never hear her name ever again. i love you more. let’s finish cooking, kay?” he suggested, kissing your forehead as his way of sealing his promise.
you both continued with dinner, this time with his arms wrapped around yours and doing all the work for you. he wanted you close.
“minnie?”
he hummed at you in response.
“i want to do this with you forever. even if it means that sometimes you need to let stuff out about that stupid bitch. i’ll still listen. i just got emotional because i took it the wrong way, but you know you can always talk to me right?”
your sweet words tugged right at his heartstrings.
“i know, sweetheart. i’d do the same if i were in your position. i’m always here for you, too. crying or not.” he smirked, getting a little kick out of teasing you.
“yea… i can’t promise talking about it will make me not cry, so… we might have to learn how to work around that…” you admit.
“that’s okay, pup. i’ll be here for all the ups and downs, no matter what.”
jeongin
he could explain it over and over again- that he didn’t mean it. except, jeongin didn’t even realize he was doing it in the first place.
you’d have your casual conversations back and forth about whatever it was, and sometimes he’d unintentionally bring up his ex-girlfriend. you’d wince at the mention of her name but also at the thought of him enjoying the time he spent with her when they were together. they didn’t necessarily break up brutally, but it wasn’t in the nicest way either. knowing this, you could never understand how it was so easy for him to bring her up so often.
“yea, i remember when i was with - she always hated movies like this so we never watched them. you’re the same. they’re my favorite, but i guess i understand why people wouldn’t like them that much.” he simply said, continuing to eat his snacks and staring off at the screen.
“do you always have to do that, jeongin? just compare me to her and then go on with your day? like your words wouldn’t affect me?” you asked through tears.
“what do you mean to compare you to her? i’d never do that. i just brought up that she didn’t like these movies either cause she just didn’t.”
your sadness quickly turned to anger. how did he not realize what he was saying and how it affected you? it always made you shut down. you’d tear down your confidence and happiness with the way his words made you overthink.
“you make me feel like i’m not good enough for you… like you went through all of that with her and want to do it all over again or something.” you confessed, wiping your tears away and looking at the ground.
“yn, how could you ever think that? i love you more than anything, i don’t even want to think of her. it just came to my head for some reason. i’d never want to make you feel like that.” he said.
“well you do. and if you don’t want to think of her why do you always bring her up? we go grocery shopping and you’ll laugh at some stupid food she hated or say that when we’re arguing i sound just like her. i don’t understand… if you hate her so much why do you always compare her to me?”
he thought for a while before speaking,
“it was never like that, i swear! i think it’s just my way of reminding myself how i got so lucky with you. i went through all of that with her and now it’s just a lot easier for me to laugh at the stupid things she did. but i can promise you it never had anything to do with you. to be honest, i didn’t even realize i was doing it all this time and i’m so sorry for that.”
you crawled over to his side of the couch and curled yourself onto his lap, sniffling and wiping the remnants of your tears off your face.
“just promise me you won’t do it again now that you know? i never said anything because it hurt me so much, but i also figured you didn’t realize too… i should’ve said something earlier…” you acknowledged.
he shook his head, “i won’t let you put this on yourself, yn. it was all my fault. i should’ve known that it wasn’t okay. i promise it will never happen again and if it does, i give you full permission to do whatever you want to me. you could beat me up and not talk to me for weeks and i would understand.”
you nodded and he hugged you tighter to him, using one of his hands to rub up and down your back and the other to run his fingers through your hair. you fell asleep on him just like that and he silently cursed at himself for ever hurting you the way he did. he made a promise to himself that he’d protect you from anything he could for the rest of his life, no matter what it took.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
note - i have to admit that some of the members were so much harder to do than others bc i just can’t see them ever doing smth like this even by accident 😭😭. i hope everyone likes this tho <3 i love writing hurt to comfort. long fluffy minho fic next !!! plan is 12k words but we’ll see!! also apologies if there are errors i wrote all of these at like 2 am 😍
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