#holy hotness Batman | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spicy-apple-pie · 6 months

Note

I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE COMIC >:))))))

I did warn you…

Okay so idk if a lot of people know this, but Damian was originally given up for adoption right after he was born before his story was reconned.

So in this comic, Damian is 9 years old and in the foster system in Gotham, unknowing who his parents are. He’s never stays long in a home because he’s very aggressive. He’s smart though, so he orders a DNA testing kit to hopefully find a relative to take him. Imagine his shock when he finds out his father is Bruce Wayne.

So this 9 year old walks into WE by himself, toddles up to the secretary, and asks to see Bruce Wayne. The secretary is like “haha okay, let me help you find your parents.” And Damian is like “you can. My dad is Bruce Wayne.”

And then Tim shows up!! And he’s like, “who’s your dad?”

And Damian is suddenly really nervous and shyly passes Tim the DNA test results. Tim looks them over, and Damian thinks he’s going to get turned away. But then Tim smiles at him and asks him if he has time for a drink.

Damian basically explains his life story over a cup of hot chocolate to Tim. Tim listens and tells him that he’ll make sure Bruce sees it and gives him his number if he has any questions (Damian doesn’t have a phone). Damian gets up to throw out his cup but Tim is like “oh I can throw that out for you. Talk to you soon!”

Cut to the BatCave where Bruce is staring at the DNA test results. Showing him and Talia as the parents. Tim stands behind him. “I doubled and tripled checked.” He says. “Not to mention he’s the spitting image of you.” He mumbles under his breath, knowing that Bruce isn’t in the mood for jokes right now. Alfred places some Tylenol beside Bruce using his butler powers to sense his on coming headache.

“And you said he walked into the lobby by self?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, he said he took the bus.”

“Oh dear,” Alfred comments, “that is certainly not safe for a boy his age in Gotham. I wonder if his social worker knows about that…”

So the next morning, Damian finds that he’s out of custody from his foster parents. And he’s like “but I didn’t do anything this time!” And his social workers like “no, they’re getting charged with child endangerment. We already have a place lined up for you.”

Lo and behold, his new foster home is Wayne Manor. And he meets Bruce for the first time and he’s really nervous. And Bruce has to turn away because he almost starts crying. And Damian asks Alfred if he did something wrong and Alfred’s like “no, he’s just very happy to see you.”

And that’s basically it. But I also have this idea of how he discovers his Dad is Batman.

He comes downstairs in the early morning for a snack before going back to sleep to find Red Hood raiding their fridge. He runs to Bruce and he’s freaking because fucking RED HOOD broke into their house.

And Bruce groans and is mildly annoyed about and Damian is like “???? Does this happen often????” Bruce brings him downstairs and Red Hood is still there, but making a grilled cheese with his helmet off.

“Jay, how many times do we need to tell you know masks in the house?”

“I dunno. How many fucking children are you going to adopt?” He gestures to Damian hiding behind Bruce.

“He doesn’t know yet, Jay. I was going to wait until he was more comfortable.”

Jason is a little sheepish because he did give the kid a bit of a fright, so he turns around to apologize and introduce himself. And instantly is like “holy shit, that’s a bio kid.”

“Language, Jay…”

“Don’t language me, where the fuck did he come from???”

“What is happening??!!” Damian finally yells.

And then Bruce shows him the BatCave.

I did warn you I’d talk your ear off. I came up with this circa. 2018 - 2019 but I feel like I finally have the skill to draw it. And I honestly fell in love with it again, so I might lol.

Edit: I did it

#Batman #Batman comics #dc #dc comics #shut up spicy #Damian Wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne #damian wayne al ghul #I love him #au #alternate universe #Tim drake #batfam #Batfamily #batbros

2K notes · View notes

clockwayswrites · 7 months

Text

City Pigeons Bleed Green Part 3

WC: 1861 Masterpost CW: mentions of blood, past experimentation, and torture

Duke tugged the sleeves of the hoodie he had thrown on as he rolled out of bed down over his hands. The Cave was freezing. Usually the temperature was nice. Dressing up in layers of body armor and fighting crime made a person hot and the cool air of the Cave was a relief. When pulled out of bed by an all-hands meeting it was another story and so Duke tucked himself further in the hoodie.

He was pretty sure it wasn’t even his hoodie. This family (and those let into the inner circle) were almost all clothing thieves. Duke had even caught Wally West with his missing Gotham Academy hoodie once. The weird lack of boundaries had taken some getting used to. Seeing various family members naked for decontamination showers or medical procedures helped hurry that along. It was hard to care about who’s hoddie it was was after washing off cuddle pollen together.

The roar of a bike filled the Cave and Duke didn’t even look up. He knew the sound of Red Hood’s bike.

Man, he really had been in this family too long now, he thought and buried his face in his arms. Would they notice if he just went back to sleep?

“Perhaps some tea, Master Duke?”

Guess so.

“Thanks, Alfred,” Duke said and dragged himself properly upright to accept the mug of tea. At least it was warm.

Duke sipped at the tea, his favorite blend of course, as Jason sped into the Cave like the badass bastard he was. He spun his bike to a stop in one of the open spots.

“Hood,” Bruce addressed the other, the Batman™ gravel seeped into his voice even though he was dressed down in sweats, a hoodie Duke was pretty sure was actually Jason’s, and a brace on his wrist.

They all knew what Bruce meant though: report why an all-hands was called, why Tim wasn’t there, did those of them not suited up need to, was anyone they cared about hurt?

“No, old man, you report,” Jason said as he stalked up the steps towards them. “Who the fuck were you fucking fifteen years ago?”

Duke pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake and not still in bed having the most awkward dream. Alright, well, that hurt. So much for being saved from this conversation by the T-rex suddenly coming to life and breathing fire and them having to take it down with squirt guns and pool noodles.

He’d had some weird dreams since coming to live in the manor, alright?

“Um, ask what now, little wing?” Dick asked, looking between Jason and Bruce.

“I asked what I asked,” Jason said. He’d made it to the computer and they all turned obediently to look at the screen. Jason tugged off his helmet and set it down as he leaned against the console. “Who the fuck were you sleeping with at that time, Bruce?”

Bruce stared at Jason for a long moment. “Selina, mostly. Some socialites and such maybe still. What’s going on, Jason?”

“Oracle,” Jason said, not taking his eyes Bruce. “Red should have sent you some media. You’ll get why. Throw something fitting up on the screen.”

Despite what the superhero community and Gotham thought, everyone in the Cave knew that Batman was far from unflappable. They had all pulled one over on him before. But Duke had never seen Bruce looking like that before. As that image went up on the screen, it looked like someone had just shattered his brittle heart into pieces.

Duke couldn’t blame him. The sickly looking guy on the screen made Duke want to go find someone to punch and it wasn’t his face the other was wearing.

“Holy shit,” Steph whispered.

“Father, what is the meaning of this?” Damian ordered.

“Jay?” Dick prompted when Bruce seemed unable to find the words.

Jason scowled down at the ground. “Red and I were on patrol. He noticed… blood.”

Babs brought another image up on the left monitor without prompting. It was a Gotham alley like any other except it was splattered with a green spray.

“That is Lazarus water, that is not blood,” Damian said. His words were as haughty as ever, but there was a wobble under them.

“It’s blood for him,” Jason said. “Trust me. I held the kid as Red stitched him up. Knife wound. It was the only… new wound. Oracle, did Red send you…”

A new image popped up on the left screen and Jason closed his eyes. Duke had to swallow heavily and look away himself. He got now why Jason came in demanding who Bruce had slept with. Bruce’s heart was going to break all over again.

“Who?” Cass signed. Her motion was sharp and aggressive as she pulled her thumb from her chin after the sign.

“We don’t know,” Jason said. “He was jumpy.”

The picture of the horrible injuries was replaced by a video, clearly from Red’s suit. The guy was pressed against the wall, one hand gripped tight over the wet, green stain on his hoodie. He looked dwarfed in it.

“Hey, looks like you could use some help with that wound before you bleed out,” Tim said in the video. Duke could hear how he was keeping his tone carefully light.

“…just who are you supposed to be?” The guy’s voice could barely be heard.

“You must not be from Gotham. I’m Red Robin, one of the heroes here.”

The guy snorted, curling further into himself rather than relaxing at that. “So you’re just going to hand me over to the government then?”

Everyone in the cave stiffened at that, including Jason, which was interesting.

“Why would I do that? I’m a vigilante. Do you know how illegal what I do is? I just don’t want to see you bleed out. Maybe I can even take you to a safe house where you can rest.”

“So that you can interrogate me? No thanks.”

“I mean, I’d like to know who tried to kill a kid, but that’s to make them pay, not you.”

As the guy gave a horrible laugh, Duke reached out and touched Cass’ elbow, reminding her they were all there. These sort of things always hit her hard. She sent him a grateful smile before focusing back on the screen. “Maybe I deserve it.”

The guy tensed suddenly, weight shifting like he was about to bolt as the video slumped slightly sideways.

Jason’s voice rumbled from close to the camera. “You’re what, sixteen?”

“…fifteen?”

“Uncertain,” Cass spoke. Duke had to agree, the guy didn’t know how old he was, not for sure.

“Yeah, no fifteen year old deserves to bleed out. You know who I am?”

Duke tracked the motion of the hood as it slipped. The white hair was curious, considering Bruce, but if the guy was a meta or had been in the Lazarus Pits long enough… or worse, both…

“I’m Red Hood. I protect part of this city called Crime Alley. I’m not afraid to kill a shithead, especially ones that hurt kids, but I never harm a kid,” the Jason of the video said, something they all knew was true. It was an argument still often enough on bad days. “I’ve got places to put you if you needed somewhere safe; places not in the system. Or we can get you somewhere. Do you have a place to go to?”

The guy laughed again. “That’s the thing. I do. I might, I guess. Just no one is going to believe me.”

It was Tim who asked, “Why won’t they believe you? Where do you need to get?”

After the photo earlier, they all knew what the guy would look like when he lifted his head, but it still made Duke glance over at Bruce.

“I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”

Jason motioned and the video stopped there and went away.

Bruce closed his eyes.

I need to get to Bruce Wayne.

Another son he didn’t know about. Another son he failed to save from a horrible childhood because he didn’t know they existed.

“He didn’t want to see you right away, but we think that Tim and I convinced him that we could arrange a meeting between you and him,” Jason said.

“Of course,” Bruce answered instantly.

Jason just gave a little nod and explained, “He doesn’t trust the offer, or us, completely. It was enough to get him to the safe house. Passed out on the way.”

“And still asleep,” Tim piped up from the computer. “I’ve been running analysis on the… collar he’s wearing. It’s definitely a one off, but very professionally made. There’s, well, there was a tracker in it that’s been crushed. It’s meant to deliver a shock if someone messes with it, but I can disable that long enough to remove it.”

“You should wait until one of is is there,” Duke spoke up. “Just… in case there’s a reaction when it’s removed.”

Duke ducked his head when all eyes turned to him, still bashful as the newest member of the family. Bruce had been trying to reassure the other, but he knew that was far from his own strength. Clearly he needed to try a different approach.

“Just, you know, he’s clearly a meta? Of some type? It’s probably a containment collar and it could release a, you know, backlog? Of power?”

“Good thinking,” Bruce assured Duke.

“Someone better get here quick then. I hate seeing this thing on him,” Tim grumbled. At least he agreed.

Bruce looked back at the photo still on the center screen to the pale, drawn face. Even in sleep his son’s face was etched with pain.

“Bruce?” Dick prompted.

Bruce took a breath and made himself focus, to be Batman, not a grieving father. How often had he had to make that choice? “Dick, you and Jason both should go. Tim, as soon as the collar is off I want you and Oracle working on it but stay mindful of traps.”

“Will do,” Tim replied.

“And what of the rest of us?” Damian asked.

His youngest had come so far, but Bruce knew this would be a big disruption for him. They would have to watch him. He caught Cass’ eyes and she gave the slightest nod.

“I want Robin, Batgirl, and Spoiler out on the streets. Don’t ask questions yet, we don’t want to lead anyone to him, but get a sense of the mood around the big players. If this is already on anyone’s radar, I want to know.”

“And you need to make a list,” Jason said. “Kid talked in his sleep, begged his mom to stop. Could just be nightmares…”

“I’ll make one,” Bruce said. His bedroom proclivities were hardly what the papers reported, but with how this new son wasn’t certain of his age, it could be pre-Dick, or even at the start of Dick joining the family. It certainly meant there would be more names then any of the years later on. Whoever it was though, Bruce would find them.

He had to try and do that much for his son.

--- AN: Not entirely sure about Bruce's part here, but he's always harder for me to write! I think goal is to get at least one POV with all of the kids, so I guess Dick's is next likely! I'm super fuzzy today (fatigue, day fuck it, seven? Eight? Of this headache), so I hope this is at least decent~

Stay delightful, darlings!

I no longer tag, but you can subscribe to the masterpost to be notified!

#dp x dc #batpham #city pigeons #trauma tuesday

1K notes · View notes

emeraldkniight · 5 months

Text

𝓢𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬. 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗀𝗎𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 ୨ ໋ ˳ ⊹ eng. . . !

superman, wonder woman and batman x f!reader

WARNINGS: smut drabble, gang bang, some sexual degradation, masturbation, oral sex, p in v. Diana!bisexual.

LANGUAGE: English is not my first language and I am still studying to master it. It makes me insecure to write by myself in another language, so I used the translator. I apologize in advance for any mistakes. The original version is here.

There was always something strange and unlikely about these three from the moment you met them.

They were all hiding secrets. According to you, hiding secrets was one of the most common parts of human nature. You were not interested in knowing what they were all hiding, but your curious mind was obsessed with knowing what the holy trinity of the Justice League was hiding beneath their sleek and sophisticated veneer of heroes; what no one would dare doubt or question.

The price of your curiosity was more costly than you could have ever imagined, a debt that would have to be repaid. Now you were part of this madness, and no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't escape.

The good news was that you didn't want to.

You knew that the moment you felt the three of them completely, you were content to belong.

It was just hard to think of anything else when you found yourself tied to a chair, completely naked and unable to move while three pairs of blue eyes analyzed you.

The beautiful princess of Themyscira had no shame in digging into your sweet crotch. Her fingers slid across your sodden vaginal lips with a sound so vulgarly obscene that it caused you to inadvertently stir in your chair.

You looked intently at the two male figures as you tried to get as close to Diana as your body would allow so you could kiss her and feel her fingers go deeper inside you.

But before you could reach her lips, you were brutally pushed away by the man of steel, who had the clear intention of tasting your mouth first. Not that you were complaining; Clark's tongue was heavenly. It had a strange but hot connection to your lips, so it made you a mess right away. Who would have thought that Superman's ultimate power would be to soak his victims so easily?

Still, you didn't deserve them to be nice to you. On the contrary, you should be punished for insubordination. What you did was unforgivable.

In your defense, you didn't know that you were exclusive to the trio and couldn't sleep with other people. The rules weren't very clear when you met them, or when they started their no-strings-attached sex adventures.

Of course, you were not exclusive to anyone, and you planned to make that clear in the future. Right now, you were too busy cumming on Diana's fingers drilling your pussy that you didn't have enough time to think about anything else.

The adoration the Bat had for the way your pussy enveloped him so warmly brought out the most dominant and morbid part of his inner self. The sight of his cock moving in and out of your little hole at the same time your mouth was happily eating Clark's erection and your fingers were eating Diana's clit was enough to bring you to the verge of orgasm.

You gagged as the tip brushed against your uvula. You couldn't even concentrate enough because of how hard he was penetrating you. The pleasure was embracing.

— Look at our little slut. She can't even concentrate on sucking a good cock while she's being fucked. - Wayne commented. He kept going right into her sweet spot; faster and faster, more and more precise.

— She was too bad. Should we give her a prize though? She always takes us so well. - Kent continues, asking. You're beginning to control the rhythm of your mouth, although it's still a little difficult in some ways.

— Oh, Hera! - moans the princess of Themyscira. - That feels so good. - Her fingers can't resist trying to help themselves so she can come on your hand.

This is definitely the best part of the day, the one you enjoyed the most. And of course that was the guilty pleasure that came with keeping a secret. The secret the four of you shared.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayne #batman #batman smut #batman x reader #clark kent #clark kent x reader #clark kent smut #superman #superman smut #superman x reader #wonder woman #wonder woman x reader #wonder woman smut #dc comics #dc universe #dc au

541 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 6 months

Note

The worst ant infestation I’ve seen in a fandom is the DC fandom holy shit there is an batfam patrol that is just ready and waiting to attack people who ship any superhero that has ever had any kind of bat or robin in their name lol. I can’t stand them they are unhinged one of the most popular ships has been inundated non stop with attacks they even changed the fandom wikis of ships to say they are ‘family ships’ that aren’t romantic. This has resulted in people misusing tags and using a slash when they are writing platonic. It sucks! I’m assuming this is on purpose to rewrite the fandom history but it’s not going to change anything it’s just going to confuse people.

I believe they will find that there has been a **lot** of **hot** Batman/Robin in the past.

153 notes · View notes

mamawasatesttube · 2 months

Note

For your Tim mentor au, what’s the craziest piece of Tim lore the kids have each collected? I can see them having once a month meetings where they compete to see who got the most mind boggling info about Tim. Idk what the number gets.

they don't collect any sort of tim lore.

see, they don't think tim is cool. no baby hero thinks their mentor is one of the cool ones! tim doesn't hero-worship batman. none of young justice thought red tornado was super neat. bart's not out here like "wow the flash!!!" he's like "wally your wife is way cooler than you lol." i guess kon and cassie are kind of exceptions in that they DO think superman and wonder woman are really cool, but not in the way that baby tim thought superman was cool, let alone the way baby tim thought ted kord was cool.

every time they hear a story of tim being impressively competent or anything they're like. whoa. like it makes sense (he can take down all four of us in hand to hand sparring at once) but also it makes NO sense (he says "get pwned lol" every time he takes down all four of us in the sparring ring.) they are not hero-worshipping tim. tim is their teacher who is prone to dry humor and falling asleep in weird places and tinkering with weird gadgets. it's just also that somehow he knows?? everyone???? he's friends with EVERYONE???

so if anything, they're gossipping about tim having a history with supernova. about tim knowing xenia!!!! impulse (or mercury?) invites himself in at one point like oh you guys are talking about tim? i have stories! and they're all like HOLY SHIT... IT'S IMPULSE. tim's like guys i promise you NONE of these guys are any cooler than me. i've seen cassie trip over her own lasso and shock herself because her wife unbuttoned a single button on her shirt on a hot day. guys. come on. STOP agreeing when supernova says ttk is the best power ever. he does NOT need a bigger head about it!!!

but this gaggle of teenagers will not be deterred. they do not think tim is cool. tim understands red tornado better than ever.

#answers #derp-a-la-sheep #mentorverse au

91 notes · View notes

hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years

Note

Batmomxbruce loving on each other and kid (or kids) walk in on them

Keep the Doors Locked

Bruce Wayne x batmom!reader

There’s a massive downside to having an army of children.

Warnings: smut, protected sex, getting walked in on, overstimulation, fluff, batman is scared of his wife, jokes about divorce, batmom is bi

WC: 1.1k

Minors DNI

Bruce’s grunts were like music to your ears as he thrust into you, the fat head of his cock bashing almost painfully into your cervix. His massive calloused hand was pressing down on the back of your head, forcing your face into the black silk pillowcase, drool running down your chin and eyes rolling back into your skull.

“Fucking take it. Take my cock.” He growled, his other hand hitching your hips up higher so he could drive himself even deeper within you. He didn’t care that you had already cum twice on his cock and three times on his tongue and fingers. Your husband had already spilled his hot cum all over your generous tits but he was still going.

Between a recent injury during patrol, issues at Wayne Enterprises, an increase in villainous activity and baby Thomas learning to walk, which was quickly followed by running, neither of you have had any time with each other. It had been a month since you had sex and it definitely wore you both down.

So now, with Damian at the Kents for the weekend, and Thomas in Alfred’s care for the day, you had been quickly pinned to the Alaska king and ravished.

The bed was now bare save for the pillow beneath your head and the two under your wide hips, keeping you propped upright as you went boneless. “Bruuuuuuuuuce.” You moaned, a less powerful orgasm washing over you, your pussy clenching down on your husband’s cock.

You shivered as his body slumped over yours, his face tucking into your neck as he shifted his arms to wrap around your thick waist, his hands resting on your plump tummy. “Perfect, my perfect girl.” Your pussy burned with the overstimulation but you still reached behind you and tugged on Bruce’s black hair, urging him to go faster, your voice failing you.

Bruce shifted his hips, angling his thrusts downwards. The knot in your stomach twisted tight and the breath knocked from your lungs as the underside of his dick rubbed deliciously against your g-spot. “God I missed this pussy.” He groaned into your ear, cock twitching wildly within you.

“Gonna make me cum.” His voice was gruff and dark, almost like when he went out on patrol. You attempted to roll your hips beneath him to match his thrusts but his assault on you was too powerful, your mind going completely blank as another orgasm built inside you.

“Hey dad, I- Holy Shit!!! What are you doing to my mother?!?!” Tim was standing frozen in the doorway, Bernard close behind him, face completely red and flushed as he desperately avoided eye contact with you. Bruce quickly caged you below him, trying to prevent the boys from seeing your naked body. “Out!” The door slammed shut and you heard the boys scramble away.

With a grumble, Bruce pulled out of you, making you whine. He sat back on his heels, wincing at your puffy lower lips. “Sorry love, guess I went a bit too hard.” His big hands rubbed your bruised ass cheeks but you just chuckled. “It’s fine my heart, just help me up, we should talk to the boys.”

Bruce pulled you up to his chest, lightly kissing your neck. He helped you off the bed and handed you one of his oversized hoodies for his days off and a pair of loose shorts before pulling the condom off his softening length and throwing it away and putting on his own clothes. Just as he was running a hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it out, the door opened once more, a very angry Dick and Jason stood in the entryway, glaring daggers at their father.

“How dare you.” Jason hissed. “Defiling our mother like that. Shame on you.” He stroked your hair gently, cradling you to his large body. You stood there absolutely bewildered as Dick quickly followed his little brother, standing in front of his dad, staring him down. “In the middle of the day too?! When anyone could walk in?!”

Bruce threw his hands in the air in frustration. “She’s my wife! We’re going to have sex! How do you think Tommy got here.” Both boys gasped. “Our mother is a saint, how dare you accuse her of such a thing.”

“It’s a fact!” Bruce was clearly getting very annoyed at his two oldest sons and combined with the fact that he was still incredibly pent up, his face was steadily getting redder and redder as the vein in his forehead stood out even more. “No it is not! Everyone knows that Tommy was delivered by storks. I mean, that is what you told Damian.” Your head snapped up to look at the second Robin, eyes widening in shock as your husband suddenly went very quiet.

After you had gotten pregnant, Damian had quite a few questions as to how babies were made. And since you had given the sex talk to your other three boys, you left Bruce to do it himself. “Bruce. Tell me you didn’t.” He was avoiding eye contact. “I can neither confirm nor deny this.” “Jesus Christ.” Suddenly, you had a very bad tension headache, one that you got when any member of your family has done or was about to do something incredibly stupid.

“So big man, what room are you going to be sleeping in for the next month while ma decides if she wants to divorce you?” Dick seemed incredibly satisfied with himself for that. Jason had the smuggest look you had ever seen on his face as Bruce suddenly went very pale. “I’m just gonna, yeah.” And he turned and ran from the room, almost like he wasn’t Batman.

The two older boys high fived each other, obviously having been planning on sharing that secret when the time was right. You sighed and dug your fingertips into your temples, trying to relieve the pounding in your skull. All you wanted was a day full of fun sex with your husband, now you’ve go to deal with said husband, telling your second youngest where babies actually came from, and comforting your middle child and his boyfriend.

Turning your glare on the two Robins, you cleared your throat. “I better be getting the best Mother’s day present ever for this.” “Yeah of course mom.” “Don’t we always get you awesome gifts?” They spoke at the same time. You smiled fondly at them and reached up to cup their faces. “Oh baby birds, when did you get so big?”

Jason’s face went red and he looked away but Dick nuzzled into your palm like the little puppy he was. “Alright, let me go deal with Tim and then your father is getting a very stern talking to.” You grumbled, pulling your hands away in favour of stuffing them into the pocket of the hoodie you were wearing. You strode to the door but paused right before you left the room, looking back at the brothers.

“And boys.” “Yes ma?” “If your father and I ever get divorced, I’m marrying Selina.” Their shouts of protest carried throughout the house.

DC Masterlist | Main Masterlist

All Works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

Bruce Wayne

@minervadashwood

1K notes · View notes

sister-lucifer · 11 months

Text

what’s wrong with you based on your favorite batman villain

(don’t take these too seriously)

(sequel to this post)

The Riddler: Holy shit shut the fuck up for two seconds PLEASE. i know you have a touch of the tism and crave to derail every conversation to talk about your special interest but no one else is having fun. this is why you don’t have any friends. You also have a very niche and the second most expensive taste in clothing so you only have like 3 outfits to mix and match. You either dress like you’re going to the Met Gala or like a dad on vacation, no in between

The Penguin: STOP FUCKING IMPULSE BUYING!!! YOU HAVE TOO MANY TRINKETS!!! YOU DONT NEED IT JUST BECAUSE ITS PRETTY!!!! You have the most expensive taste in clothing, especially victorian undergarments, and spend an embarrassing amount of money to dress like a vampire. And stop being so hard on your body. It might not always be the perfect image of what you want, but it’s doing its best, even if you have to help it out a bit.

Harley Quinn: Sweetheart, I promise you are more than just your sex appeal. I know you grew up around misogyny and were raised to be a housewife but you’re free now!! Well…you would be if you stopped picking the shittiest men. A relationship does not define you, stop settling for assholes because you feel ashamed for being single. Have you tried dating a woman? No, seriously, try it. You deserve it

The Joker: Stop using your humor to deflect from your trauma, i bet your back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funniest person in your friend group. You’re a big time maximalist who spends an hour picking out a hundred accessories to wear and wind up being late because you couldn’t choose which kandi bracelets were best for the occasion. You’re still holding on to the last shreds of your teenage edgelord phase. Also clean your damn room and throw away those old drink cans, nasty ass

Catwoman: How does it feel to be the sexiest person in the room at any given time? Not good, I bet, since you struggle to make friends because of how often they wind up to only be after your body. Sorry you can’t catch a break. You’re probably still carrying money saving habits you got from your parents when you were a kid even though you don’t need to now. Also please try wearing a color besides black, it’s almost summer, you’re gonna die of heatstroke. Nice eyeliner though

Poison Ivy: Dude, so many people are crushing on you rn, how do you not see this?! You’re so hot but soooo emotionally unavailable, christ. A boy in middle school said something uncomfortable to you once which was then reinforced by the misogynistic micro aggressions you were subject to as a teenager and it’s kinda tainted your entire view of the male gender, which is fair but also kinda sucks.

The Scarecrow: Daddy issues, daddy issues everywhere. He was scary as fuck, wasn’t he? Your fear was valid. You really love to analyze people which wouldn’t be an issue if you could actually be subtle about it. Stop staring, you creep. Also, that flannel doesn’t look as good as you think it does, you look like a depressed lumberjack. Like please just buy a cardigan. Halloween is your favorite holiday and you get really annoying about it around mid august. And remember to brush your fuckin hair for gods sake

The Mad Hatter: You get like…reeeeaaaally weird about your crushes, man. Like whatever you’re doing it’s not normal. You can just talk to them, you know. You have the weirdest sexual interests but they’re more so hyper specific and niche than gross or unsettling. That’s better, I guess? You gotta leave your headspace and live in reality for a bit, man. I know it kinda sucks, but there are real people here! Also you’re short. Gross

#batman #batman rogues #the riddler #edward nygma #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #the joker #the scarecrow #jonathan crane #mad hatter #jervis tetch #poison ivy #pamela isley #catwoman #selina kyle

244 notes · View notes

celaenaeiln · 1 year

Text

Im sorry, but what is this obsession with turning robin Dick into a angry monster? He wanted to kill the guy who killed his parents and that makes him bad? Because I’ve wanted to kill people for a lot less so *wipes sweat from brow* oh no.

Was Robin Dick deranged? Yes. Psychotic, bonkers, had a couple dozen loose screws? ABSOLUTELY YES!

But was he also sweet, awe-inspiring, caring, and happy? Duh!! He was the first child hero bro! Ofcourse he was. He had to be because he was a child hero born in the 40s and they might’ve been depressed as hell but they sure ain’t gonna show that on the outside!

Late teens Dick was a dangerous, flaming hot, fashion designer bag of rage and stress and he’s fucking valid for that because Bruce kicked him out because he was worried and jealous. I wouldn’t know where to throw that all rage either if that was me. Certainly not running a team of the best child heroes, unlike him- the crazy asshole.

And why. Why. WHYWHYWHWYHWYWHYYYYY ARE PEOPLE ALWAYS COMPARING JASON AND DICK?! If one exists the other cannot. Bro, they’re not a fucking coin. So WHY?!

Ok. Okay. Lets say that Dick had anger issues because he wanted to kill his parents’ killer. Then did Jason not have anger issues because he threw a drug dealer that had nothing to do with him off a roof to the man’s death thus leading to a fraught relationship between him and Batman until he died? No? Then fuck off!

Why does one have to be boxed into a category so the other can look better. Dick and Jason both developed anger issues but at two different times. Dick’s started when he and Bruce began feuding at 17. Jason started when he came back with a vengeance at 19. Oh. Would you look at that. They both got angry because of Batman at around the same age! What a coincidence. Perhaps writers did that because they needed them to move into a new story arc in their lives like what actual people do at 18.

And here’s the main thing. If Jason was a cute, innocent angel that became angry and temperamental after coming back from the dead, then why can’t you grant the same olive branch to Dick? How can you say that Jason had the capability of changing from robin to Redhood while Dick could not do the same for his Robin to Nightwing? Looking at the comics, Dick was super sweet (“Holy Batman!”) so why is it so hard to believe he changed too when Bruce ripped his family colors from him and threw him out on the streets because of his own jealousy and love.

So can we please, please change the fucking narrative here? The Golden Boy grew into a multifaceted single parent who has too many kids and is in charge of the whole world and The Cool Kid became an incredible crime fighting warlord who fights for Justice even in outer space. They’re both equally cool, right?

Now back to what I was saying -THEY ARE NOT WHO YOU THINK. The real angry kid here is Damian so why are you pushing that brand onto both of these two when they were nothing like that?!

That label-making factory should be shut down and sued for fraud because here’s how it is:

Dick - deranged, happy robin. The one you whip your head over your shoulder at to make sure you heard him correctly because he says the craziest shit in the most chirpiest of tones. He’ll set fire to a bad guy’s pants and walk back whistling to a secretly approving Batman (canon btw).

Jason - rational, boastful kid. The one you smirk at because the both of you saw someone egg a house who you know is owned by an asshole. He goes into battle fists first or he’ll hold back Batman when he’s gone too far (canon btw).

Tim - bruh no labels because what the fuck is he even. He’s a combo of Jason and Dick. He’ll say something that’s crazy but in a completely calm voice so you dismiss it or think he’s joking (canon btw).

Damian - rational, angry kid. The one where he’s angry but he’s cute and he means the best so you wanna wrap him in a blanket and throw him up in the air and laugh as he shrieks angrily on his way down. He’ll steal the bat sign and run around with it until Batman makes him put it back (canon btw).

So, in conclusion, because my English teachers taught me to end any essay with a concluding paragraph even though this sounds less like an essay and more like a stream of words from my consciousness - Jason and Dick were happy kids. Yes, Dick grew angry at 17 because Bruce wouldn’t let him stay with the titans and he fired him over a bullet wound but no, you cannot use Tony Zucco as his defining point.

Because, to be fair, you are not your past. Your past can shape you but it does not define you. Where you come from does not dictate who you will be. That depends on you and what you believe is right. And neither Dick nor Jason let their pasts define them. So don’t call either of them angry robins when they were both happy as possible.

Please give this some thought because having either one of them angry so young isn’t fun for anyone. Love to see them raging though. Give me wild, powerful Dick Grayson effortlessly whirling down dozens of enemies in a storm of electrical fury. Give me crazy, badass Jason Todd taking down men in a fiery blaze of a tornado given form. Give me that anger. Just not at fucking 8.

#canon vs fanon #sick and tired of the dick vs Jason debate #why don’t you compare Roy vs Artemis? same thing #rant post #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #robin!dick #robin!jason #robin!tim

270 notes · View notes

dairy-farmer · 1 month

Note

After reading the Hybrid prompt? Thoughts! Such as:

Okay but what about JASON Hybrid? A stud. Breeder not breedable. Was feral and fast, so no one could catch him. Couldn't abuse him. Got taken in by Bruce. New all along his mom wasn't his bio-mom. Duh. Not a hybrid.

Threw himself into helping Batman break up rings. Champion rights and better treatment. Ignored the itching under his skin. The pretty, pretty things they threw at him to try and get to Bruce. They probably didn't even want to BE there. We're just going through the motions, not actually IN to him.

Hard pass.

But? Hybrids have better hearing. Better sight. Click~

Oh? And who is THAT following us? Jason follows him home. Scales a wall, climbs in a window. Neighbor huh? And~? Holy shit a stalker room. Pictures EVERYWHERE. This guy totally knows.

And is totally, pants around his knees, face pressed to the floor boards and ass in the air, working himself over with his fingers. Desperately trying to stuff himself. Tease his clit. A laptop open, playing VIDEO of tonight's patrol.

And Jason? Can't look away from that pink, pink slit. Offered up all nice.

He looks so BREEDABLE.

And Tim squeaks when his hands are dragged free, wrists held and used to drag him back onto something thick and hot. Which plunges deeper then any of his fingers or toys could ever manage. He's rocked forward and dragged back. Heavy muscles pressing him down. Hot breath panting in his ear.

Robin. Fucking him.

Hissing in pleasure when the realization makes squeeze around that pounding cock. Rumbling purr vibrating against his back. His insides battered. Flipped on his back, so Robin can get DEEPER, dragged up to meet each thrust like a doll.

Listening to him growl about how he's gonna put a litter in him, even though that been proven not to work. Clearly not caring. Instincts demanding he TRY. Pump him full of cum until it TAKES. Til Tim drowns in it.

It's rough and sloppy and Tim ends up COVERED in hybrid seed.

It's a wet dream come true, obviously. For Tim. But there is no way that- And that's when Jason crawls in the window again. He brought breakfast. And after THAT, he's gonna fuck Tim again. And again. And again. No more late night for Tim-tam.

You could endanger the babies your physically incapable of giving Jason! Speaking OFF, Tim to breed his mate again! Does he care it's taking a long time? Not in the slightest. Does he know that he can't actually knock Tim up? Yep. He's gonna need either Dick or Bruce for that. But he's not SHARING. Yet!

And so he sneaks out, again. To go fuck the neighbor boy stupid and cum soaked. Again. Because Hybrid Jason has decided they are mates. And THAT is the future mother of his liter. He just needs too fuck one into him :3c

-🐼🐼🐼

jason just not being able to help himself and breeding tim 👀👀👀!!!

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

44 notes · View notes

marvelmaniac715 · 1 month

Text

My theory of what the latest Starkid musical is about based on my own deductions and past Starkid productions (huh, that rhymes):

Based on the words in the top left corner and the style of Bryce’s clothing, it is very easy to deduce that this musical will be medieval inspired, but I can dig deeper. Bryce’s outfit does not look as put together as a typical princess gown, so I’m guessing that our protagonist is wearing armour, if I had to nail down a time period I’d say Ancient Greece or Rome, making her a gladiator. That would already be a fascinating musical, but I’m going further, stay with me. As someone very rightly pointed out in a comment/reblog that I can’t quite remember, the text used for the date resembles the 1980s movie Labyrinth, which plays into Starkid’s love of nostalgia… we’re getting close. Starkid’s musicals are filled with nostalgia - classic Disney (Twisted), Harry Potter (AVPM trilogy), Star Wars (Ani), Batman (Holy Musical B@tman), classic video games (Trail To Oregon), classic horror/sci-fi (Hatchetfield series), VHS/classic stories (VHS Christmas Carol) - but what do most of these also have in common? They are, to borrow a word from the latest Hatchetfield musical, ‘nerdy’. So, what do we have here? A team that prizes both nostalgia and nerdiness, creating a musical about a woman in armour, perhaps a gladiator. We also know that Team Starkid are returning to parodies after Hatchetfield, returning to their roots you might say. This has led me to one conclusion… the next musical produced by Team Starkid will be… a DnD parody. Think about it! It’s nerdy, it’s nostalgic, and it’s hot right now because of the recent Honour Among Thieves movie making more people interested in the game, and Stranger Things as well - a Starkid member was in a Stranger Things parody recently (was it Jaime?) so yeah. That’s my best theory, and no matter what this musical is actually about, I’ll love it, and Bryce will rock her first true lead role, she deserves this.

Edit: I just want to date the release of this post just in case my theory is correct so I can show people this post and be like “See? I’m psychic!” So yeah, this post was released on Saturday 23rd March 2024, around 11 pm, and this edit was made on Sunday 24th March at precisely 13:54 pm. Also I want to tag @the-real-team-starkid just in case they see this :).

#team starkid #starkid #dnd #nostalgia #nerdy stuff #fan theory #theory

43 notes · View notes

milkyst4rs · 11 months

Note

Hi hi! Can i request diluc childe and thoma (seperate) with reader thats gentle and dosent get mad easily but whenver theyre alone they curse like a sailor over anything that made reader pissed off. Reader dosent like showing theyre anger so they release theyre anger alone and got caught by them one day (maybe even caught violently stabbing raw chicken and vegetables while making dinner hahshs)

(Sorry this was long)

You good?

diluc, childe, thoma x gn reader. crackfic

thanku for ur request! Hope u like it🫶🏽 Thomas one is so fluffy☠️ can yall tell i love him

Diluc

Flowery, angelic, soft. Those were the 3 descriptors diluc would often tell people when they would enquire about you, his s/o. You were like a saint, always understanding, talking to the children of the town, picking flowers for him everyday.

So why were you angrily cursing at a pile of burnt cookies in the kitchen?

Diluc had just gotten home from his nightly batman duties and was concerned when you didn't reply to his usual, "I'm home, dear."

He heard a commotion in the kitchen.

"I swear on the 7 fucking archons, if this next batch of cookies doesn't turn out perfect I will actually kill someone."

Diluc's eyes widened. What was going on in there? He had to see if everything was alright. He slid the door to the kitchen open.

"Dear? Is everything oka-"

"holy shit- oh hey honey! Welcome home! How was your day, love?"

Momentarily ignoring your change in vocabulary, he took a scan throughout the kitchen. A burnt mountain of chocolate chip cookies stood there on the counter.

"I, uh. I see that you're baking cookies..."

"Mhm! I got a little bored, all the ingredients I needed were all here so I thought of making something sweet for you!"

"I see, thank you darling. It seems like you're having...some trouble? I've never heard you so frustrated dear, though I must say it is quite amusing."

He said chuckling, he walked over to the burnt cookies and took out a...cheese grater? He walked back to you and pushed the cookies and grater toward you, was he expecting you to do something with this orrrr?

"Adelinde taught me this trick, if you have burnt your cookies, just grate the charred sides and it will look and taste perfect."

"Shit, really? Thanks love!"

He has no clue how your choice of words can go from vulgar to sweet and loving, but he finds it kinda hot.

Childe

You and childe were polar opposites. He was a bloodthirsty son of a bitch and you were caring and nurturing, against violence and hate.

The people of Snezhnaya have no clue how the two of you got together but hey, it seems like it's working out well.

Whenever you and your boyfriend would go out for dates, people would hesitantly greet the two of you so they don't get put on the Fatui's hit list. You noticed this, however, and decided to tell people that you aren't going to hurt or put in a bad word about them. After awhile, everyone was happy to see you waltz into their shop, taking a look around and initiating small talk.

Today, you had asked childe to help you with physical combat, he gladly accepted of course.

He brought you to his usual practice area so he could teach you tricks on a dummy. Practice went well, you managed to build up stamina and strength in your arms.

"Phew! You learn quick babe! Let's take a break, wait here I'll go get us some drinks."

He pressed a kiss on your forehead and walked out of the practice grounds. You decided to practice a little more while waiting for him.

You were fired up. Landing hits and punches on the dummy like it was your worst enemy.

"Fuckin' bitch."

A kick to the head.

"Argh! Yeah that's right, cry little fucker!"

A punch to the jaw.

This was fun! It's a great stress reliever too.

While you were cursing at the poor dummy, unbeknownst to you, your lovely boyfriend was standing behind a wall giggling at your vulgar choice of words.

He had come back 3 minutes ago, no harm in watching his precious s/o completely obliterate his training dummy right?

"I didn't know you were such a fighter [name]! You can land hits physically and mentally, very impressive sweets."

You flushed the moment you saw childe walk to you.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this. I was in the zone."

Childe chuckled and passed you your drink,

"Ok ok! You're really cute when you get all fired up ya' know?"

Thoma

Ah my sweet sweet boy. He thought he knew everything about you, that you two were made for eachother. Imagine his shock when he sees you repeatedly stabbing a boiled chicken while cursing at it.

Where did the soft and loving [name] go? Is the chicken okay? (Obviously not since it's boiled but thoma is too concerned to think logically.) He remembered you saying that you'd be the one making dinner today, he's never seen this kind of cooking method before. Ah! Maybe you're using a technique from...what's his name? Gordon Rambly? Corden Ramsly?

He jumped out his thoughts and rushed to your side, worried that you might stab your hand accidentally.

"[name]! What's going on?? Are you alright?"

"Oh! Thoma! Thank the archons, please help me. This dumb crusty ass of a chicken won't cook properly! I've been trying to make it nice and tender but IT KEEPS. GETTING. STIFF."

Thoma's eyes went wide as frisbees.

"Ah! [name], mind your language! People can hear you! And, the water has got to boil on medium heat, you set it way to high!"

"I DID SET IT ON THE STUPID MEDIUM HEAT THINGY. IT'S THE FUCKING CHICKENS FAULT!"

"Shh! Okok, come here. Calm down.."

He pulled you in for a warm hug, immediately your mind went blank at your anger dissipated. You felt him press a kiss to the crown of your head and you blushed.

"Sorry, I've just been a little irritated today.."

He laughed and held you closer.

"It's ok love. Come on, let's make dinner together!"

"But I wanted to make this awesome meal for you so you could relax...now you have to do all this. Sorry.."

He lifted your chin with his thumb and index finger, his gaze soft and loving.

"I am always at peace when I'm with you, love. No matter how mad you get."

He mumbled the last part but you heard it and giggled, leaving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

#genshin fluff #thoma x reader #thoma fluff #diluc x reader #diluc fluff #genshin x gender neutral reader #childe x reader #childe fluff #thoma x gender neutral reader #diluc x gender neutral reader #childe x gender neutral reader #THOMA <3

232 notes · View notes