okay girlfriend is hosting a passover seder tonight so i will maaaaybe be back very late but. probably won't be on at all. and tomorrow is in-person dnd so. idk catch y'all monday maybe.

"i'm gonna quote you on that later, when you start bitching about how shitty the night is," he answers flatly. not that he'll blame her for it. everyone's entitled to bitching about a shit night. "i can do it." probably. but he knows enough not to say that out loud. "i'm gonna remind you though that i'm not a hunter, and i'm guessing you called me over anyone else because most hunters know how to patch themselves up, but i'm not out there getting stabbed on the regular, even--" he stops, shakes his head, and doesn't continue that sentence. doesn't mention that even his ex was always more into fucking with his head than doing any physical damage. he's not going to think about that or talk about that or acknowledge how much that asshole is still haunting him, even from the fucking grave. "but i've done a lot of chemistry and engineering and i was fucking dumb as fuck when i started, so i didn't give a shit about lab safety. i can do this."

andie almost flinches when she sees him reaching for her face before she realizes he’s wiping off some blood she must have missed. that combined with the reassurances is oddly gentle coming from him, but it’s actually kind of nice. maybe it’s all the blood loss. she nods, so he knows she’s listening to what he’s saying, but she doesn’t know what to say back. the reality of this whole thing seems to be starting to sink in and she’s trying not to panic but she’s also really fucking grateful that he’s here and he’s helping and she doesn’t have the words to express any of it. she probably wouldn’t even if she wasn’t sort of bleeding out on her couch. and she’s about to spiral, but then she focuses on what he’s saying, on the sound of his voice, and she takes a deep breath. “as long as i see the morning, i don’t care how shitty tonight is,” she finally says because god, she really doesn’t want to fucking die. not here, not like this. “there’s stuff for stitches in the first aid kit. do you think you can do it? cause i can try. i’ve had to do it before. not this many and it was my hand, but i did it. so i can maybe do it again.”

"in my defense, the nightmare fuel is coming with or without my involvement. at least this way you know it's getting handled." although she'd probably just prefer to not know it exists. he'd prefer that, but it's too late. they're both in too deep. maybe he should feel bad for dragging her into this. he doesn't. "and yet, you are not the first person i've been through that with and i wouldn't count any of the others as friends."

“do i think anything involving you is a win? hard to say. especially when you showing up usually means nightmare fuel isn’t too far behind.” but the part she doesn’t say is that she’s starting to kind of expect him to just keep showing up. and it’s not the worst surprise when he eventually does. but she has absolutely zero desire to do a deep dive into whatever the fuck that might mean. it’s easier if she just doesn’t think about it. “i hate to break it to you, but i think we are. banishing and surviving an eldritch horror together seems like a friendship forging event.”

@shxfting sent: ❛ it appears that you have mistaken my dislike of causing harm as an inability to do so. ❜ from carys for whoever managed to piss her off

"good. because being an outsider in this court? not as easy or as safe as all the officials want to believe. you need to be able to hold your own. jinx and i can't be everywhere at once."

@strangeperfectionss sent: ❛ i am in love with an idiot ❜ from chloe for one of the girls about shane???

"it's like... on the one hand, at least you're aware. but on the other hand. does that actually make it better? and i guess on the third hand? there are way worse guys you could be dating. so. one point in shane's favor, one point against, and one point to you for admitting this."

[text; dorie] that's fine. you know i prefer chocolate anyway. i'm warning your mom tho. [text; dorie] yes, of course. i hope they're full of baked goods.

[text: dad] i got the baked goods when i got here, i figured you’d want one. but the banana bread is mine and i’m not sharing.

[text: dad] i have the drinks. should be home in about ten minutes, can you keep an eye out to let me in? hands are kinda full.

[text; dorie] thanks. i'm sure it'll be great. [text; dorie] she says yes to the chai [text; dorie] ....are there any pastries left or did you sell out for the day?

[text: dad] i’ll get you what i’m getting. it’s new on the menu but i think you’ll like it.

[text: dad] mom probably wants a chai latte, that’s what she usually gets, but sometimes she switches it up and i don’t want to get the wrong thing.

"what a valid and incredibly upsetting point you've made. do you feel like that was a win? 'cause i sure don't." honestly he should have stopped coming here the first time she was even vaguely nice to him, but the idea of finding another supplier had felt exhausting at the time. enough that he'd pretended it was fine, that there was no real magic here, that she didn't clearly no what he was up to. but too late now. now they're here, instead, wherever here is. he's about to snark back at her, but he falters and he can't seem to stop the words from coming out of his mouth, "are we friends?"

“i feel like the fact that we’re having this conversation after every other conversation we’ve had is all the proof you need to say there’s something deeply wrong with me.” is that…why did she say that? not that she can think about it too long because the next comment he makes is so not what she was expecting. andie doesn’t usually think of herself as anyone’s type, mostly because she’s too busy avoiding having any kind of relationship that might require physical interaction unless she trusts the person. which takes approximately forever. and most of the time, she’s already been too distant for anyone to try and get that far. “and you don’t want your two friends flirting with each other? nervous about who’ll get custody in the divorce?”

"you're gonna make it through the night," he says, reaching up and wiping a spot of blood from her face that she missed. there's a cut there that's still bleeding. not deep, but he knows facial wounds bleed a lot for no good reason. "it's gonna be a real fuckin' shitty night, followed by several very shitty weeks, but you're gonna make it." his gaze drops to the wound and he blanches. "fuck. yeah. it definitely does." are his hands steady enough for that? they're gonna have to be. "yeah, okay, i stand by you making it through the night, but i really want to emphasize how bad of a night it's gonna be."

“that’s assuming i even would’ve made it to the couch.” and it’s probably not the time to try and joke about that, but honestly? there’s a very real chance she’ll die on the couch still and facing her own mortality is so not something she’s ready to do. especially with wilder less than two feet away. “it’ll feel even less like nothing when i actually make it through the night.” this feels like the kind of thing you’d have to force yourself to be optimistic about and she’s trying, but she’s just so tired. she finishes up what she’s doing and looks over her arms. there’s some small scrapes and scratches, but not that would account for the amount of blood in the inside of her left arm. she looks down and sees a disconcerting red patch seeping through her shirt. she lifts it to assess the damage and it looks like a giant claw mark going across the side of her stomach. thinking back, it had to be from when he grabbed her and she finally managed to get out of his grip. “no, he didn’t bite me…but, uh, do you think this needs stitches?” she asks, turning to face wilder again so he can see the injury.

[text; dorie] yes. definitely. surprise me. you know what i like. [text; dorie] i'll ask. give me a second.

@babyitsmagic

[text: dad] my shift ends soon. do you want me to bring you home a drink?

[text: dad] if mom is home, can you ask her too?

"Doing the right thing frequently doesn't feel good. That doesn't make it less of the right thing," he pointed out. "Whether or not it feels like enough, it does make a difference. Is that not more important?"

"I've given my best friend similar advice, but I know that it will never feel like enough. Not with the things either of us have been made to do," she sighed, raking her fingers through her short hair. The length bothered her father, but she didn't give a shit. If he was complaining about her appearance, he wasn't complaining about the other stuff Peri was up to.

"something's deeply wrong with you if you don't like here more than me," he deadpans. he's spent years being as unlikable as possible. mostly on purpose. "...if she's single, she will hit on you. you're definitely her type." which, as far as he can tell, is most women, but especially if they're a little mean. still, andie might be exactly her type. it's a little too similar to his for comfort sometimes.

“then, yeah, you could tell her.” andie is somehow weirdly grateful in that moment that there’s someone who those monsters is their whole thing. she’d hate to know what set them down that path, but, like, thank god there’s someone who knows how to handle it. she looks up from what she’s doing. “you don’t have to say it like it’s the worst possible thing you could imagine. people do like me,” she says before smirking. “unless you’re worried i’ll like her, too? maybe more than i like you?”

there was a time that even a hint of something like that would have had him lashing out in the worst ways he could think of and bolting in the opposite direction. he feels the instinct to do it rise up in him now. but he doesn't have to do that anymore. alaric is dead. still, he doesn't think he can have a kind reaction to that reveal so he decides not to comment. "trying to do it yourself probably would've just ended with you bleeding out on the couch." not that he would've done anything different in her shoes. "huh. congrats, i guess. you survived, and that's not nothing." he finishes cleaning up her back, taking stock of the injuries. it looks mostly like scrapes, probably from getting knocked to the ground. maybe one deep cut, but it doesn't look like it'll need stitches. thank fuck. he frowns slightly as he reaches for another towel. "hate to bring it up but. i think i've gotta. you didn't get bit did you?"

“i know, but i still do.” it’s like all logic goes out the window where he’s concerned. she should’ve kicked him out the first time he came back, but she never did. and she knows all of this and yet..something in her takes over and ignores it all. “i probably would’ve tried to do it myself,” she admits as she finishes wiping off her face, at least she thinks she does since she can’t see it. she adjusts how she’s sitting a little so he can reach her back more easily, surprised by how gentle he’s being, and starts on her arms. “there was, like, this metal thing next to where he knocked me down and i just grabbed it and hit him as hard as i could in the fucking head with it. i don’t know what it was, i panicked because i was, like, fully convinced i was gonna die. and then i think adrenaline just kicked in and i got to my car without him following and then i got home and called you.”

various things spoken in an adventuring party pt.2

part 2 of an assortment of quotes and sayings i've found doom scrolling through pinterest that i think an adventuring party would say during their never ending perilous adventures . please do not copy/repost or add to this list, thank you!

Affectionate ❛ i am in love with an idiot ❜ ❛ i’d be his if he asked  ❜ ❛ even your rage is beautiful  ❜ ❛ there’s still good in you  ❜ ❛ my darling, you will never be unloved by me ❜ ❛ you are too well tangled in my soul  ❜

Questions ❛ are you a monster or a victim?  ❜ ❛ can anyone betray anyone?  ❜ ❛ who in the fuck authorized this?  ❜ ❛ where do you purchase your audacity from? ❜ ❛ why is everyone in this kingdom so gods damned stupid?  ❜ ❛ if you don’t terrify people a little bit, then what’s the point? ❜

Banter ❛ people can do worse things than kill you  ❜ ❛ gods help anyone who dares to disrespect me/you  ❜ ❛ magic always comes with a price  ❜ ❛ the gods love to fuck with us  ❜ ❛ i’ve got a spell for that  ❜ ❛ i do very bad things, and i do them very well  ❜

Tragedy ❛ anyone can betray anyone ❜ ❛ not all of us are going to make it out alive ❜ ❛ i was once a child with innocent eyes ❜ ❛ i remember all of them ❜ ❛ i’ve been having a bad day for the past several years ❜ ❛ a golden cage is still just a cage ❜

Fierce ❛ what i did, i did for us ❜ ❛ if they touch you, i’ll break their necks ❜ ❛ it appears that you have mistaken my dislike of causing harm as an inability to do so. ❜ ❛ you are divine violence ❜ ❛ burn it all. ❜ ❛ i am so much more than you told me i was ❜

Antagonistic ❛ lets cause a little trouble ❜ ❛ i think you’re caught between who you are and who you want to be ❜ ❛ tell me what it’s like to conquer  ❜ ❛ you’re a little tragedy, aren’t you? ❜ ❛ disrespectfully, i decline  ❜ ❛ with all due respect, which is none- ❜

Neutral ❛ there’s bravery in being soft ❜ ❛ the trees told me about you ❜ ❛ i do not care for your god. ❜ ❛ if i can still breathe, i’m fine ❜ ❛ i’m nice as fuck. ❜

Comedic Relief ❛ do you mean to give me another one of your stoic nod? ❜ ❛ if you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask stupid questions ❜ ❛ i’ll get over it. i just need to be dramatic first. ❜ ❛ what’s your favorite pastime? mine is reckless behavior ❜ ❛ i’m definitely the nicest asshole you could ever hope to meet ❜ ❛ i wanna contribute to the chaos ❜ ❛ we can’t giggle, we’re at a crime scene! ❜ ❛ the nonsense has escalated ❜ ❛ go stand over there. your existence is giving me a headache ❜ ❛ being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ❜

BONUS FROM THE HERO TO THE VILLAIN ❛ you took everything from me ❜ ❛ haven’t you taken enough from me? ❜ ❛ go ahead. underestimate me. that’ll be fun. ❜ ❛ touch me and you’ll burn ❜ ❛ the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated ❜ FROM THE VILLAIN TO THE HERO ❛ don’t bleed on my floors ❜ ❛ people will never bleed enough to fulfill your vision of justice ❜ ❛ i am the child/daughter/son of a king who forgot my name ❜ ❛ i am the end of all things; i have drunk the blood of kings. ❜ ❛ congratulations, you have survived! ❜

.

thought i'd get a bit more done/be here longer but i am crashing hard so good night friends! catch you again soon!

she wants to say i'm not a criminal but that feels dicey. she's not sure if it's a lie or not. she's not currently a criminal, but she'd happily go back to being a thief, given the choice. so instead she says, "it's a government thing and you're probably better off not knowing any more details than that." which she thinks both of those things are true. "um... lots, probably. i think the other important one is that i'm genderfluid. feeling very she/her today, but... it varies from day to day. and i'm guessing that's fine, because it'd be totally fucked for the universe to give me a soulmate who wasn't cool with that, but i'd rather bring it up now than later, y'know?"

dorie checks the skin she can see and sure enough, nothing comes up. “you’re right, it totally sounds batshit. and maybe like you’re a criminal? but, like, i knew you were lying a lot. kind of hard to miss,” she says, holding her hand up to show the lies still showing. “so your job is secret, so that’s off the table for conversation. anything else i should know?” this is. a lot. and she is definitely going to call her dad the second she gets home to see if he’ll help her unpack all of this.