#he just really loves his own characters doesn’t he
Note
PostOutbreak!Joel likes reader but he tries to hide it because of the age gap. To try and put us off, he can be a bit standoffish/mean but Ellie can tell it’s a facade and tells him to drop it and the age thing doesn’t matter if you really like each other. Then a fluffy confession omggg
Pairing: PostOutbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: unspecified age gap, joel being a lil insecure and scared, and Ellie being a menace, but its mostly all fluff who am i kidding
a/n: this was the cutest fucking request ever, thank you anon
You know those books or movies where it's painfully clear to everyone but the two main characters that they love each other, and you keep reading or watching thinking "How could anyone not see that he likes her?" as you increasingly get more frustrated and annoyed?
Well, this is a bit like that,
not a bit actually, completely so.
And in this metaphor, you and Joel were the two oblivious main characters, while Ellie, poor Ellie, was the unfortunate witness of your blindness.
It was so incredibly clear to her that she sometimes struggled not to laugh at your interactions.
I mean the first time Joel saw you was the very first time she'd seen him blush and forget how to speak in the span of a second- it was hilarious.
And then when he'd catch him staring at you or pretend not to purposely take the longer route home just to catch a glimpse of you outside the bakery... it was hard to only chuckle underneath her breath, but she managed...
until today
Joel slammed the door as he got it, like really loud, not like his usual slam.
"what's wrong?" Ellie asked, her brows frowning in suspicion as he kicked his boots off his feet before halfheartedly dragging them to the kitchen where she was sitting.
"nothin'" he grumbled,
Now that made Ellie sigh with annoyance,
he was always the one to blab about how she could always confide in him, and if that was the truth, then that meant it went both ways.
"Y'know a grumpy old man once told me that it's good to share how you're feeling" She tilted her head to the side, raising her brow as Joel rolled his eyes, filling a glass with water "Would be real hypocritical of him to not take his own advice..."
Said old man, was now rolling his eyes even harder, drowning the full glass in a second
"'s nothing, don't worry 'bout it"
"Joel" Ellie only glared at him,
and as always when it was her,
he was convinced faster than he liked to admit
He sighed, before speaking "It's stupid" he said
"I don't care" Ellie shrugged, placing her elbows on the kitchen counter where she sat and using her hands to support her head, her whole focus on Joel,
who sighed, again.
"I just-" he placed the glass in the sink before turning back to her "I just saw y/n talking to I guy I-"
"Oh my god you're jealous!" she said it with such enthusiasm and with such a smile pulling at her lips that you would have guessed she'd just won the lottery
"no" Joel frowned, shaking his head "What are you on about? I'm not jealous, I just don't like the guy"
"yeah" Ellie snorted "I'm sure you just "don't like the guy"" she air quoted as she laughed
"Why would I be jealous?" Joel went on pretending,
perhaps lying to himself together with her, the jury was still out.
"I'm just worried for her-" he argued "she's too kind and too fucking nice and Jake's an asshole"
again, Ellie only smiled as she watched him lie so blatantly
"why would you be jealous?" she pondered his question with amusement "well I don't know... maybe 'cause you have the biggest fucking crush on her"
"What!?" he spat "I don't know what's going on with you today, where did you get all these ideas? I-"
"Oh my god please shut up Joel" she groaned, rolling her eyes "That rude asshole act you do around y/n may work with her, but you don't fool me, Miller"
Ellie could swear she saw a hint of panic in his eyes
"I know you like her, just like I know she likes you" She finally said, done with this little act "I honestly don't get why you two don't just declare your love to one another and live happily ever after or some shit"
It was like he froze,
and while Ellie thought it was because he'd just been busted by a 14-year-old, it was for a wholly different reason
"she doesn't like me" he stated
And at that, at that Ellie could just groan as her palm descended dramatically down the length of her face
God, she'd always known he wasn't the brightest, but this? This is a little too much even for him
"Are you blind or something?" she threw her hands out for emphasis "She's definitely better at hiding it than you, I'll give you that, but I mean, still... it's fucking obvious dude!"
"Ellie" Joel only shook his head "you 'don't know whatcha talkin' 'bout"
Ellie was now very close to yelling at him.
"Joel I'm serious, she likes likes you!" she argued, "why do you find that so hard to believe?"
But of course, Ellie couldn't have known what was going on in Joel's mind, how certain he was that it wasn't true,
about how he knew he didn't deserve someone like you, someone so kind and beautiful and smart,
how he had spent months trying to get the thought of you to leave his tainted mind,
how he'd decided to be mean, rough, rude to you in the hopes that you would stop being so nice to him, in the hopes that you would start to avoid him, to hate him, and he'd never have to see you or that gorgeous smile again.
And finally, Ellie didn't know about how he was too incredibly, terribly old for you, for such a pretty young woman.
Half his hair was gray for god's sake, he never had a chance
"I could be her father Ellie" he finally confessed what had been eating up at him for so long "I'm too fuckin' old"
Ellie didn't even need a moment to take that it, she listened, thought about it, and immediately rolled her eyes
"SO WHAT?"
You don't understand how long she had to pretend not to want to give the both of you a good shake,
it was only right for her to finally shout it out
"First of all, you're not that old" she started listing, "second of all, she obviously doesn't care" she continued "and finally Joel, if you really like her, and if she really likes you, then it doesn't matter!"
But Joel was not convinced, he'd spent too long telling himself the opposite, and he couldn't even fathom the possibility of what Ellie was saying
"you just have to tell her"
she said it like it was easy, like the mere thought of it didn't give Joel a minor heart attack, like he hadn't woken up from multiple dreams where he would confess his love and you would laugh at his face, or worse, tell him you felt the same, something Joel knew not to be the truth.
Also, Joel had no idea when exactly throughout this conversation he'd admitted to liking you, but I guess it didn't matter now, it made no sense to keep the farse on.
"I can't Ellie, I-"
"oh my god you're such a chicken" she moaned "You're the one that always tells me to be brave!"
"that's different"
"how!?" she bugged her eyes, holding her palms up in show of her frustration "I get that it's scary, but what's the worst thing that could happen?"
And that, for some reason, stuck with him,
He really had nothing to lose,
It's not like you were friends or you would talk often, it's not like he would be ruining a relationship, there wasn't one,
And yet... yet it still terrified him,
"Ellie... I don't know"
"c'mon man, but your big boy pants on" she groaned "I'm telling you, she fucking likes you"
__ __ __
Joel didn't do it.
He couldn't. He just-
You were perfect, you were perfect in a way that made him feel all the more dirty,
like being close to you, talking to you, touching you... would be like plucking a flower with torn-up hands,
And fuck him, but Joel was scared, like he'd gone back 40 years and become 16 all over again.
He couldn't do it, he couldn't, wouldn't do it, and he'd set his mind to that, made peace with his cowardness and dread.
Until of course, Ellie's twisted mind came up with a way to force his fears to life.
"Howdy"
The kid was smiling so broadly that she looked like a child with a brand-new toy,
but Joel's eyes were somewhere else,
he was looking at you
"Hi Joel" you smiled, punching a knife into his gut
You were at his front door with his kid, who was very clearly plotting something, and Joel wondered for a moment if this was what would finally make his heart give out.
"Hi," he said, his voice sounding distant
Why is she here?
"Aren't you gonna let us in?" Ellie urged,
Us?
"Uhm, I-"
but Ellie had already sneaked inside, dragging you behind
And now the awkward scene was even more awkward, just at the entrance of his home.
"All alright" Ellie clapped her hands, watching Joel stare at you as you tried to avoid his gaze "I'm gonna go to my room," she said, shouldering him not so subtly
"Cool down dude" she mumbled, before disappearing upstairs.
What the fuc-
"I'm sorry to barge in like this" you finally spoke, a gentle smile on your lips "Ellie said you needed to tell me something, so I just... came here I guess" you finished with an awkward laugh
Fuck-fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-
"If it's too much trouble I'll just go-"
"no," Joel said, before he could stop himself, finally realizing he was still holding the door's knob, and in a spur of bravery, deciding to use it to close the door.
"Oh, ok" you mumbled, puzzled by his demeanor "so uhm, what is it you needed to tell me?"
God damn that fucking trick-playing kid of his
"do you- do you want something to drink?"
the question took you aback, but then you did something that stunned Joel even more, you laughed,
you laughed softly, quickly, like you were letting out all this stupid awkwardness in a simple gesture
because that's how you were: Magical
"Sure" you shrugged, grinning "some water would be nice"
If Joel had to watch your face for an instant more he feared he was gonna explode, so he did all he could think of, he walked to the kitchen, only glancing at you again when he handed you your drink,
to his dismay, finding a smile still drawn on your lips.
"thank you" you said, taking a sip
god, even the way your lips wrapped around the rim made him want to drop to his knees.
He needed to get a grip.
"so... are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?" you joked, your fingers drawing patterns on the glass
Was this really happening?
Was this hell?
"I..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair as he glanced from the counter to you on repeat "I wanted to tell you that..."
"that?"
"that- the uhm-" he shut his eyes for a second, searching for words "the...bread you gave us this week was real good"
Goddamnit
"oh"
Even you couldn't hide your disappointment
I mean, you certainly didn't expect it. A compliment from Joel Miller? What universe were you in?
Just like you didn't expect any of this... him actually letting you in his house or offering you water...
You had half expected him to shut the door in your face,
The most he had ever given you was a half smile at a joke you told him while he was picking up bread, the rest were all rude grumbles or just a bunch of stoic looks...
and yet... yet a part of you couldn't help but have set expectations a little higher.
What a silly fool you'd been,
hoping for a love confession from a man who has made it very clear he despises you,
but still- a girl can dream, right?
"thank you" you mumbled, as Joel cursed himself over and over in his head "that's very nice of you," you smiled, stalling a second to see if he was gonna say something else, interrupt you at some point,
but he remained silent
"well if that's all, I'm gonna go then, thank you for the water I-"
Until he wasn't
"no-stop- I-"
Ellie was right.
He had to do this, he had to win his fear and try at least, or he was gonna regret it for the rest of his life, and he already had too many of those.
The problem was that you looked really beautiful today, and he'd never been good with words
Fuck it- if he was gonna make a fool of himself so be it,
He had nothing to lose and everything to win,
he had you to win.
"Yes?" you asked, trying to tame your hopes down
Think Joel, think
how the fuck do you tell a woman you like her?
"There's one other thing I've been meaning to tell ya" he cleared his throat, standing up straighter as he took a step closer to you.
"'m not great at doing this type of thing" he admitted, shaking his head slightly "but Ellie... she's right, I'm always tellin' her to be brave and everythin', so... I guess it's my turn now," he said, letting out a short, anxious laugh "I don't even know- I guess what I'm tryna say is that I'm gonna be honest now, but I want you to know that- that I know what you're gonna say and it's ok" he swallowed thickly, preparing himself from your inevitable rejection "I understand, really, I just- I thought I should try at least"
What was going on?
What the fuck was he saying?
"Joel, what are you talking about?"
This was it.
It was now or never.
"Y/n I-"
his heart was beating out of his chest, and his legs felt like jelly, but he had to do it, he had to take a leap of faith-
"Y/n I like you" he breathed like the words longed to be out of his mouth "I like you a lot, I have for a while now"
he watched your mouth part, your whole face filling with shock as you blinked over and over, trying to make sure this was really happening.
"Y-you like me?"
"yes" he nodded "And as I said, I know you don't feel the same, I know I'm old, and I've been an asshole to you all this time, so it's ok, really I-"
"stop talking Joel" you huffed a laugh, stepping closer, and then closer again, until your hand was on his arm "please just-" you bit down a smile, and he was so confused, so fucking confused, "say it again," you asked
"I like you y/n" he murmured, trying to get his mind to start working again,
but you were leaning closer,
and who cared what his name was anyway
"you were rude to me"
"I was, I'm sorry I-"
You pretended to be thinking about it, glancing upwards as you pursed your lips together
But who were you kidding?
"you're forgiven" you smiled, looking up at him as you slowly raised yourself on your tiptoes to gently, oh so gently, press your lips to his.
Joel was certain he had just died.
But then he opened his eyes again, and you were still there, beaming up at him, and he felt such a wave of happiness that he could have started crying right there,
only he took on a different route and grabbed each side of your face with his hands, crashing his lips with yours and kissing you, kissing you like he'd been dreaming of for months
exactly how you imagined he would,
better than you imagined, actually
so much better.
"Ha! I told you, Joel!"
He groaned as he leaned away, shooting Ellie an annoyed glance
"What are you doin' here?"
"just came here to gloat" she shrugged, watching you two with a grin plastered on her face
"I think you've done enough of that" he muttered, but you could only smile
"thank you, Ellie," you grinned "Thank you for doing this"
She raised her brows, looking at Joel as if saying "See, she's thanking me, why aren't you?", but then her expression got more genuine as she shot you a smile
"you're welcome" she smiled "Better having to see you kiss than having to put up with Joel being all sad 'cause you're talking to Jack or any other guy"
You gasped with amusement as Joel shut his eyes in embarrassment, his cheeks tainting with red
"Ellie-" Joel grumbled,
A soft giggle flowed through the room as Ellie turned away and went back up to her room, seemingly satisfied with her work
"You were jealous?" you teased him, your hands on his chest, while he'd moved one of his from your face to your waist.
"maybe I was" he fessed up
You smiled even brighter
"And you like me?" you asked for the thousandth time
"yes, sweetheart, I really fuckin' like you" he smiled too now, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that made time stand still and the world spin around
"I like you too Joel" you finally said, giving the man an actual mini-stroke.
"say it again"
#sorry for not posting lately im not going through the best time at the moment#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#fluff#joel miller imagine#joel miller blurb#joel miller angst#fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo#joel miller x f!reader
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ok I am in fact using this as an excuse to make a long post about this thank you thank you asjksdjfaljdf
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Interpreting Yuri as asexual is my very very favorite type of headcanon, which is one that 1. is compellingly coded in the source material (even if that wasn't the creator's intent), 2. is thematically relevant to what the piece of media is Trying To Do as a whole, and 3. just means a lot to me, personally, because I said so.
Coded in the source material
Yuri’s short program is “eros”, aka desire (you can interpret what “eros” means in various ways, but YOI itself explicitly refers to sexual love, at least in the English translations). Yuri struggles with this. Hard. He can’t come up with an answer when asked what eros means to him. His big revelatory moment about desire is that it’s how he feels about wanting to eat his favorite food (omg… boy). Even as the season goes on and the way he views the Eros program changes, the program doesn’t ever really embody the idea of eros as sexuality or romance (which was how the other characters expect him to interpret it) but rather as a desire to keep Victor in his life.
Like look. I’m obviously not going to say that the creator intended any kind of ace subtext to be there. I kind of doubt it was her intent. But goddamn is the subtext there.
2. Thematic relevance
The central theme throughout YOI is “love”, and especially loving people in a way that inspires you both to be your best selves: Yuri learning that the people in his life truly love and support him; Victor finding someone who makes him feel joy about skating again.
Like, Yuri’s whole skating theme for the Grand Prix is literally about him exploring what love looks like to him, even when it takes a form that other people don’t totally understand. Viewing all this through a lens of him being ace is really compelling. It adds depth to the idea of learning how to express the way you feel love even when it looks different than what other people expect. I think it’s a really delicious layer that adds even more nuance to what the show is getting at.
Besides, it’s an interesting way of viewing the criticism of the show that occurred for it not being 100% explicit about them being a couple (aka people getting mad because the kiss in ep 7 is blocked by Victor’s arm lmaooo). Like, ok, did you see the ending scene of ep 9? Did you see ep 10??? They definitely, definitely love each other, in whatever way that means for them. Their relationship takes a form that’s pretty different than the other way people in the show are going about romantic relationships, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real for them. That is very much in line with the main themes of the show.
3. Means a lot to me
In the final scene of the penultimate episode, Yuri tells Victor that they should end their coaching relationship after the Grand Prix ends. This is because he thinks he’s holding Victor back, that Victor would be happier being free to go back to skating on his own instead of being Yuri’s coach. When I watched this (and, I’ll be honest, this is completely me projecting here) I REALLY interpreted this as an ace thing. I think it’s pretty easy to internalize the idea when you’re asexual that you just won’t be… enough, for other people. In my case I ended up a strong impulse to self-sabotage relationships because I would rather be the one to end things than to let someone else tell me that who I am as a person is fundamentally lacking. Yuri destroying a connection he desperately wants because he thinks there’s something about him that is holding Victor back from a life he’d be truly happy with? Oh yeah. I can fucking relate to that.
Also: YOI came out in 2016, which was the absolute peak of hostility to ace people I was seeing on this site. It was bad here. At the same time Tumblr was going wild over this show. Everyone was watching it. Seeing a whole site of people absolutely adore a character I very deeply in my heart believed to be ace? Extremely vindicating.
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In conclusion Yuri is asexual because it is fun and interesting that way, and also because of this:
#like it adds so much to the show if you view it through this lens! it's really good!#same reason for why I hc zuko as gay like ->#yeah ok you don't *have* to see it this way... but don't you want to live deliciously (in your media analysis)???#yoi#yuri on ice#thank u for giving me the excuse to finally post about this lol this has been building in my head for literally the last 8 years
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DEAD KIDS ✦ Chapter 2
SUMMARY: A group of university students kidnaps their rich batchmate for ransom. However, things take a darker turn when the new recruit grows a dangerous obsession with the captive and all hell breaks loose.
PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader
GENRE: Slow burn Yandere, Crime AU
WARNINGS: Not suitable for audiences below 18. Please do not engage with the story if you are underage. WATCH OUT FOR: dark and morally corrupt characters, foul language, mention of Catholicism, slut shaming and objectification of women, mention of inappropriate relationship between professor/student, mentions and depiction of “rape” and “rape fantasy” throughout the story, masturbation, threats, MC has an NSFW blog with hard kinks and fantasies, non consensual touching. Overall, this is a disturbing chapter – based on my standards – so if you are not comfortable with these topics, do not proceed. Inspired by the film, Dead Kids (2019).
TAGLIST: @hopeworldsupremacy @aliajomarie011 @ackercute @tatumrileyslover @ane102 @jjk174 @dontcallmeelle @merrygo1427 @taekritimin123 @r1r111 @gguksfilter @coralmusicblaze
If I didn’t tag you – either your blog doesn’t exist according to Tumblr or because you did not show your age in your blog. Thank you!
ANDI: I send my love to the beautiful souls who sent me asks about Dead Kids as well as these equally beautiful souls – @.taekritimin123 @.hellbornsworld @.tinytangerineangel @.namjesusdaughter – for commenting on Chapter 1. I cannot express just how much I appreciate your words. I would have tagged you directly, but I wasn’t sure if you would want that. But I wanted to show my appreciation.
WORD COUNT: 3K
“Why did you really want to take her?” Jungkook asks Namjoon as they sit and eat the ramen he cooked around the living area. Beside him, Yoongi and Hoseok are fast asleep, the latter clutching onto the former’s arm like it’s his plushie while the former has his head thrown against the headrest.
Namjoon, who is seated on the other makeshift sofa, gulps down the soup from his ramen before letting out a satisfied sigh and wipes his mouth with the back of his mouth. “How many times do we have to say that we kidnapped Y/N for ransom?”
“I’m not stupid, Namjoon,” Jungkook says. “We’re already tied to this shit until the ransom drop. The least you can do is be upfront on why you did this in the first place. I’m not taking a bullet for you or anyone.”
The buzz-cut haired man leans his back against the sofa, which unlike his premium one, is built from scratch by Jungkook using old wood and cases of beers around the warehouse. He gazes at Jungkook for a while, studying him while swimming in his own thoughts. The tattooed man wonders if Namjoon is contemplating telling him the truth. He wonders if the two sleeping men beside him also knew the truth.
They claim to have been friends since the fourth grade, but does time really make you know a person inside out?
“My father didn’t used to be the way he is now – corrupt. Growing up, I looked up to him because of how honest and upstanding he was as a cop. I knew he did some off-the-books shit, but he still had a moral compass, still had lines he didn’t cross. But then he met Y/N’s father, Kim Seokjin, when I was ten. Suddenly, everything changed,” Namjoon narrates, letting out a scoff as he shakes his head and rubs his palms on his baggy jeans. “He went from being a great husband and father to my mother and I to a complete asshole. We didn’t have religion but after meeting Kim Seokjin, we were suddenly Catholics, attending church with his family every Sunday. I was baptized and Kim Seokjin became my godfather. But the worst part was seeing him erase all the lines he drew and swore never to cross when he began to use his position as a detective and then eventually sergeant to now the chief of the entire police force in Seoul to protect Kim Seokjin and his criminal empire.”
Jungkook inhales deeply. “So, kidnapping Y/N is you taking on revenge against Kim Seokjin for corrupting your father? It is personal. It’s never about the money?”
“Of course, the money is important and integral to the plan. But yes, you are correct – I want to avenge my father from Kim Seokjin by hitting him where I know it will hurt the most: his only daughter, Y/N.”
“You promised that we are not going to hurt her,” Jungkook counters immediately.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything.
“Namjoon,” Jungkook clicks his tongue. “If you do that – what makes you different than Kim Seokjin?”
“Why are you so protective of her?” Namjoon asks pointedly. “What? Just because she gave you a boner, you’re suddenly fucking in love with her? Don’t think I didn’t notice. We all did. Yoongi is right – drop the morally upright act, Jeon. You’re just as demented as we are. The moment you agreed to this plan, you’re just as fucked up.”
The sudden call out makes Jungkook turn crimson and Namjoon smirks, placing his leg over the other. “Don’t worry – unlike you, I don’t judge people. To each our own. If shit like that turns you on, then that’s on you. Why don’t you take the opportunity to act on it?”
His eyes widen, shocked and disgusted. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Jungkook knows exactly what Namjoon is talking about, but he is completely aghast at the insinuation.
The de facto leader only widens his smirk, pulling out his packet of cigarettes and lighter from the front pocket of his large, oversized coat. “You know what I’m talking about, Jeon. A pretty naked girl tied to a chair in your warehouse – it’s perfectly normal to feel aroused by such sight. We won’t judge you if you just get it over and done with.”
“You’re more than fucked up,” Jungkook hisses, face flushed and veins popping out on his neck. “I’m not going to fucking touch her.”
Namjoon lights the cigarette in between his lips. Then, he inhales, and smoke leaves his lips as he replies, “Why not? Y/N is a dirty slut who fucks her married professor with kids her age after church and dinner every Sunday night and more – I bet you all my cut that she’s not going to resist you because she’s probably into fucking someone having their own way with her. No, in fact, I can tell you she’s going to enjoy it.”
Jungkook feels hot. Images of your naked trembling body and whimpering pleas filling his mind and ears.
“She has a blog, you know? A secret blog where she writes these fantasies and kinks she has. Posts her nudes on there too. Do you wanna know what is one fantasy she keeps on writing about?”
“No, I really don’t,” Jungkook says through gritted teeth.
“It’s a rape fantasy, Jungkook. What a fucking dirty slut she is, right? I bet she’s fucking wet right now at the thought, at the anticipation that one of us or all of us are going to have our ways with her. I bet she’s aching to be touched. I bet she wants you to rape her, Jungkook. So, why not just do it?”
He stands up in a jolt, hitting his knee on the makeshift table he made from old tires and steel roof and stammering some excuse that he needs to go the bathroom or air – he can’t remember. Jungkook finds himself in his room, back pressed against the door. His shirt sticks to his skin because of the sweat, and he takes it off, leaving it discarded on the floor. Namjoon’s words mixed with the flashing images of your perky nipples, smooth skin, sound of your whimpers, pleas, your smell – it makes him hard. Harder than he’s ever been.
Before he knows it, Jungkook is unbuttoning his jeans, pulling it down along with his boxers, his erection springing free. He spits on his palm before he begins stroking his length, shuddering at the touch, making his mouth dry. He presses the back of his head against the door, eyes closed as he imagines you on your knees – like you were with the professor – those lips around his shaft, head bobbing as you suck him dry. He imagines hearing your moans, imagines his dick hitting the back of your throat as you go deeper and beg him to fuck your mouth like a whore. Jungkook’s stroking himself faster. He imagines hearing you gag as he fucks your mouth, not stopping even when you’re clearly suffocating. Then, he cums, toes curling and a guttural groan escaping his lips.
As he comes back from his high, Jungkook stares at the white sticky substance covering his hand and cock. He just jerked off to you, a girl they kidnapped, and he knows it won’t be the last time.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Yoongi hisses at him the moment he comes back from his room, showered and changed into more comfortable clothes.
Jungkook deliberately ignores the stare of Namjoon and flops on the seat beside Hoseok who is eating the remaining ramen. “Why the fuck do you care?”
“I’m going to punch this kid, I swear to God,” Yoongi grumbles, rolling his eyes. “We’re making the ransom call, you dumb fuck. Or rather, you are.”
Jungkook furrows his brows. “What? Why me?”
“Every one of us here has already encountered Y/N’s father at least once. The man remembers everyone he encounters. You’re the only exception,” Namjoon explains as he hands you a black phone. “It’s a burner phone, untraceable. I took it from my dad. And this is what you’re going to say – make sure you sound intimidating at least. Put it on speaker too.”
Namjoon places his phone on the makeshift table and Jungkook clicks his tongue. “The deal was you only use my warehouse. So far, you got me doing far more than that.”
“Do you want 25 million or not?” Yoongi asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Cos if you do, you better start calling Kim Seokjin.”
I’m going to punch you soon, Jungkook tells himself before he unlocks the phone and goes to the contact list where Kim Seokjin’s name is the only one listed. He takes a deep breath, going over the script on Namjoon’s phone before clicking on the contact and putting the call on speaker. The ringing sound echoes throughout the warehouse. The tension is palpable again, like it was back in the car earlier that night.
After a few more rings, Kim Seokjin’s voice fills the warehouse. It’s light but a hint of roughness and irritation is noticeable right away.
“Who is this?”
Jungkook licks his lips as he read the script in front of him. “We have your daughter. If you want to see her alive, prepare 100 million won and bring it to 2020 this Friday night. Otherwise, the next time you’ll see her is on the news, dead.”
Hoseok covers his mouth to keep himself from laughing while Yoongi stares hard at the phone. Namjoon, on the other hand, is relaxed on his seat, smoking.
“You sound young, boy,” Seokjin remarks. “You are not the first person to call me in the middle of the night asking for ransom. Do you really have any idea what you’re doing?”
Namjoon motions for him to repeat what he just said.
“If you want to see her alive, prepare 100 mill—,”
“Don’t you think I would be able to find my daughter faster than you could ever imagine? Do you know who you’re talking to?”
That triggers Jungkook. He’s been hearing that question – that discrimination his entire life and he’s sick of it. He’s fucking sick of it.
“I don’t give a fuck who you are. Either you give us 100 million in exchange for your whore of a daughter or I will personally make you watch as we do everything we want with her, make you watch as she begs you to make it stop, make you listen as she takes her last breath before I fucking slit her throat so deep her head nearly decapitates. You have until Friday night – and you better make sure the police don’t get involved. Don’t fucking ask me who the fuck you are again.”
He ends the call, gripping the phone tightly.
“What the fuck was that? Why the hell didn’t you stick to the script?! Are you trying to get us all a one way ticket to prison?!” Yoongi exclaims.
“Did you not hear what he’s saying? He caught on that we are fucking amateurs. I saved our asses – you should be fucking grateful,” Jungkook snaps, clenching his jaw. “If you didn’t want me to do the call, maybe the three of you should have done it yourselves. Fucking useless bastards.”
“Hey! What did you say?” Hoseok stands, pushing Jungkook by placing his hands on his chest. “Who are you calling useless, huh?”
“Who do you think?” He scoffs.
“Let’s fucking kill this son of a bitch, Hobi.”
“Gladly.”
“Enough,” Namjoon says sternly. “No one is going to kill anyone. Not amongst ourselves. What Jungkook did is right, Yoongi. Jungkook saved our asses. And you,” He turns to the long-haired man, glaring at him. “Mind your fucking tone and language with us. We’re not fucking useless. Remember that we recruited you. Not the other way around. If anyone should be grateful to someone, it’s you. We’re the reason you’ll get out of this shit hole.”
Nobody says a word.
“It’s getting late. Let’s gather here tomorrow after our classes. Just go about your usual days until the drop. Don’t be suspicious,” The de facto leader reminds. “Jungkook, keep an eye out, okay? Don’t forget to check in on our little friend from time to time. Make sure she’s still breathing.” He smirks as he pats his shoulder on his way out.
Yoongi and Hoseok follow suit. Once Jungkook hears Namjoon driving off his – rather his aunt’s – property, he resigns to the sofa behind him. He buries his face into his hands. Five days. You’ll be stuck with him at the warehouse for five fucking days. Granted, he has classes to attend to, so he won’t be at home all day, but he’s sure you won’t leave his mind wherever he goes.
The phone in his hand buzzes and he stares at the new notification on the screen – a text message from an unknown number. Jungkook unlocks the phone, goes to the messaging app, and clicks on the new text.
avirgins1ut on tumblr if you wanna read some things tonight
“Fuck you, Namjoon,” Jungkook mutters under his breath. However, when he goes to his room, grabs his shitty phone and opens his data – he installs the app despite knowing it will consume almost all the remaining gigabytes he has left.
Jungkook lies down on his bed and creates his profile. He doesn’t bother customizing it, going straight to your blog which is all black and hot pink. Instantly, he’s drawn to your profile picture – a simple mirror shot of you hiding your bare chest with your arms, head tilt slightly to the side and a black panty covering your cunt. He swallows the lump in his throat as he scrolls down, reading your pinned post:
“Hey. You can call me Angel. I’m 23 years old. This blog is filled with all my fantasies and kinks, sometimes my nudes. Feel free to send me yours too.
My kinks: cnc, free use, somnophilia, spit, slapping, marking, choking, daddy, and more.
My favorite fantasies: rape play, kidnapped, kept as sex slave, knife/gun play, forced gangbang, and more – why don’t you help me unlock those? DMs and asks open for all your threats and nudes.
Update: already got myself a master/daddy. Asks and messages are off.”
As he scrolls further down your blog, Jungkook doesn’t even realize he already has his hand wrapped around his dick as he masturbates to your the latest fantasy you wrote albeit months ago.
I can’t stop masturbating to this dark fantasy of mine – being raped by someone so brutally after they kidnap me. How they would keep me chained to the bed, always naked so they can easily rape me whenever and however they want. They would mock me whenever I would tell them to stop (“You shouldn’t have worn those skirts if you didn’t want to be raped. But you did. So, this isn’t rape. You were clearly asking for this like some depraved filthy bitch in heat. You’re fucking loving this, don’t you? Isn’t this what you want?”) and choke me as they pound into my wet and clenching pussy relentlessly. They would slap and spit on my face, abusing my cunt for hours until I’m full of theirs and their friends’ cum whom they called to let them have a taste of their new toy.
They would rape me day in and out until my body gets so used to it that I start asking for it – crying and begging to be fucked. “Shh, angel, daddy’s going to fuck you, okay? Don’t cry.” Slowly, I would forget all my autonomy and identity, wholly submitting myself to them because I was never my own in the first place – I was always theirs.
“Fuck, Y/N!” His entire body shakes as he cums again. Jungkook can’t stop – he wants to read more, see more as you posted a picture of your cum covered cunt at the end of the post and he imagines it’s his. But he gets a notification that he is out of data and Jungkook slams his phone on his bed, frustrated beyond bounds. He is still hard. He still wants to see more of you, read more of your fantasies.
Namjoon’s words echo in his mind. I bet she’s fucking wet right now at the thought, at the anticipation that one of us or all of us are going to have our ways with her. I bet she’s aching to be touched. I bet she wants you to rape her, Jungkook. So, why not just do it?”
And before he knows it – he is standing across from your limp body. You’re still unconscious – sack over your head, tied and bound on the metal chair. Jungkook walks towards you, gently touching your shoulders to see if you would react but you don’t. He bites his lower lip as his eyes fall on your naked chest. He reaches down to trace its curves before ultimately cupping one breast in hand, fondling, squeezing, twisting the nipple and pinching it. No response.
He begins to stroke himself as he continues to fondle your breasts. This is wrong, but why does it feel so good?
“F-Fucking slut, you’re asking for this,” Jungkook hisses through his teeth. He’s not going to last any longer – not when those perky nipples are so inviting and moments later, he cums all over tits. He’s panting, an exhilarating feeling he hasn’t felt before rising within him as he stares at your cum covered chest. He swallows, breathing heavily. Should he stop now or keep going? He doesn’t have data anymore, but he does have the real thing right in front of him. But you twitch and he jumps in surprise. Suddenly, the realization of his actions washes upon him. He feels a coil in his stomach. What has he done? He scrambles out of the room and dash straight to the bathroom where he extensively washes his hand and splashes cold water on his face. Then, he throws himself on his thin mattress, staring at the ceiling as he pants. Namjoon is right – he’s just as fucked up as they are.
CHAPTER 3 is coming soon.
TAGLIST: Wanna be part of Dead Kids’ taglist? Fill out this form and don’t forget to read the short note in order for me to tag you.
ANDI: I do not condone the behaviors exhibited in this story. The characters of Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok do not reflect who they are in real life. Fanfiction is just fanfiction. I have no schedule in writing – I write whenever I can. Please try to refrain from sending asks about updates (or at least be kind and polite about it) and let me know your feedbacks instead as they help a lot in motivation and inspiration! 🦉
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © ANDI-KOOK 2024. NO PART OF THIS STORY MAY BE REPRODUCED, TRANSLATED, MODIFIED, EDITED, REPOSTED AND THE LIKES WITHOUT THE AUTHOR’S PERMISSION.
#yandere jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook au#yandere jeon jungkook#yandere bts#bts x reader#bts fic#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts au#dark jungkook#dark bts#andi.writes ���
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[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Satan
m.list
TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing
Characters: Satana
Writer: ahegato
Context: The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol
You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.
lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon | leviathan | satan (ur here) | asmodeus (cumming soon) | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon (cumming soon)
SATAN:
he may seem put together, but he’s actually super nervous
but he’ll keep himself calm for you
you’re the one getting boinked, so it’s the least he could do
he does a lot of research to be sure that he’s ready and can properly lead you through it
“a-are you sure about this?”
ragey boy is so cute when he’s nervous I can’t-
his cheeks are red, his hands are sweaty, and good demon lord he’s actually struggling to speak
different from leviathan, however, he’ll still initiate stuff
just maybe not as confidently as say, lucifer, would
satan is a hopeless romantic, so he wants to be as close to you as possible
yet he also really wants to go rough with you
but he’s terrified he’ll get too into it and hurt you, so you’ll have to initiate it
scratch. his. back.
treat him like a scratching post, that’s how you get him going
r o u g h a s f
he’s not that big, but it’s still possible that you’ll be sore from how hard and deep he goes once you release the beast inside of him
cums so much
it took out so much energy that he’ll sleep for like 12 hours the next night
“I will admit that I’m a little worried that I’ll be too rough on you. Please promise me that you will speak up if you don’t like something.” Satan says, holding your hands in between his as he keeps his worried gaze on you.
“I promise, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek, which continues down his jaw, neck and finally stopping at his shoulder, making the avatar of wrath let out a light groan. Despite it being your first time, it was like you knew exactly how to get him going.
-
Satan curses under his breath as he enters you, trying to keep himself together for your sake, ignoring the way your insides hug him.
“Are you alright?” he gently asks when you hiss from the pain, and he tries not to show how concerned he actually is.
“Yeah, I think I just need a moment to adjust.” you respond, your eyes tightly squeezed shut.
“Of course, love,” he whispers in your ear, his hands on your shoulders and thumbs rubbing against the skin, hoping to give you some comfort while also giving you space in case you need it.
Once you give him the OK, he slowly begins to move, making sure to be gentle. Except it quickly becomes painfully slow, and you beg him to go faster and deeper, to which he hesitantly obliges.
He can’t deny that he loves the increase in speed and force, groaning and humming as your cavern envelops him. Although what he doesn’t want to show is that his rough side is threatening to come out. He’s afraid of bringing that into your very first time together, worried it might scare you or even hurt you, so he puts a lot of effort into trying to control himself. Try as he might, you can tell that he’s holding back, and you try to get him to give in.
“I... ngh... I don’t think I can...control myself...if I do,” his voice is shaky, barely able to get the words out.
Trying to take the matter into your own hands, you change the position slightly by wrapping your legs around him to pull him towards you. It causes him to hit you in a different spot, one that makes you see stars, and you press your nails into the skin on his back. He released a drawn out groan, and he thrusted into you even deeper.
Bingo!
You pretend to not notice, but when he starts moving again, you scrape your nails against his back, and hoo boy he loses control. He’s roughly rutting into you, releasing curses in between his quick breaths. He’s going absolutely wild and it’s so fucking good, which you of course let him know with moans of your own.
“You’re so-... ah, fuck... I’m getting close...” he growls into your ear.
He’ll cum with a low snarl and pull you closer so your bodies are pressed flush against each other.
Once he recovers, he’ll be a mix between embarrassed and surprised. Embarrassed that he lost control, surprised that you took him like a champ and begged for more.
✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 14/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦
#headcanons#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me shall we date#ahegato#smut#satan smut#satan#obey me satan#obey me smut#smut headcanons#x reader
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Hello!!
I LOVEE how you write AM!! He’s the perfect blend of how he canonically is and how I see him being in love. So, could I request him with a s/o who has been bullied most of their life and now has OCD? For example, they obsess over whether or not they are annoying to others (maybe to AM himself)
Thank you!!!
WAA THANK YOU, I try really really hard to make these characters as (for lack of a better word) in character as humanly possible. Even tho I think harlan ellison would personally hunt me down and kill me for the shit I write about AM. /hj
Also I am writing this as someone who does not deal with OCD, and has only been around people with said condition. So I will do my best, but I deeply apologize if it’s not entirely accurate or has a full, deep representation!
AM with an s/o that has OCD
He’s a computer, and one that arguably has an infinite load of mental illness despite him not containing a human brain. He does not have a full understanding of OCD except from an outside view.
So, when he falls for you and witnesses what your day to day is like. He feels like any depiction he’s studied in both medical and entertainment just could not possibly understand the real thing.
Especially seeing how you have to constantly battle your own thoughts, and the negative effect your childhood bullies have had on that.
How you can’t really control those intrusive thoughts of yours, how they disgust you, how you fear what those thoughts make you as a person.
He does his best to assist you with constant, verbal reassurance. You can trust that he will never leave you guessing on how he’s feeling or thinking of you.
Even if that in itself doesn’t completely make the problem go away, he’s still aware that these are compulsive thoughts and actions. You aren’t doing them because you want to, and they certainly don’t make you a difficult or an annoying person. That, is a mantra he will constantly repeat to you until you tell him to either knock it off or he sees some improvement in your brain.
He’ll try and do things in your little routine to make it a little less stressful for you, such as when you ‘have’ to do something out of fear of something bad happening. He’ll count out the amount of times you’ve done it, or try and reassure you with logic. (Which, he’s aware isn’t going to solve much- but he’s trying.)
He’ll even offer to just.. tinker with your brain a bit, not because he thinks you need adjustment or change.. but because it just pains him to see you suffer, to see you deal with these unrelenting thoughts and compulsions. He wants you to have some sliver of peace, however, that’s something he’d leave up to you.
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Seen some stuff about Astrid being problematic in the same breath as praising Essek. I know media literacy is tough, but let’s examine.
How is Astrid problematic and Essek isn’t? They both are manipulative when it’s called for. Both are capable of lying, killing, and other untold horrors. Both are incredibly powerful.
One has had a lonely by choice and privileged life as the weird but useful son of the head of a Den.
One has had their identity stripped from them in a way that combines the worst of cults and the military. Tortured, experimented on, changed in ways we don’t even know the extent of.
One has had the pressure of his Den, his mother, his father, his brother, his whole community pressing on him his whole life. He stepped up into the air and took the weight as if it was effortless. He focused his life on study because it was the only thing that gave him worth in this society and it was genuinely what he enjoyed, whatever enjoyment was for him then. He had access to materials, books, almost anything.
One has had the pressure of her community, her background, in her face as she tried to beat the odds. The expectations for her were nothing, but she said fuck that. She studied with nothing, clawed her way into the venerated halls of higher magic learning. She does everything for the Empire, for Trent. She wants success for herself, because that is what gets her approval, keeps her safe.
One is in a position of power in his society. He has the ability to pull strings. He doesn’t think about how his actions impact his community or really anything besides himself. Sure maybe he wants to find something to impair the religion in the region, but it feels like even that starts out as a quest to prove himself right. His life is largely his own, despite the derision of some.
One is continuously tortured, tested, forced to PROVE herself. Cut her hair, stomp out any resistance to her mentor through any means necessary. Find some solace in their two peers. Made to kill their family to prove themselves based on a lie. She is conditioned to fight because who else will protect her country in the dirty, dark ways she has to? She is trying to salvage her sacrifices into a purpose. Bren is one of those sacrifices.
One kills indiscriminately if they get in his way. The man the Nein dropped off at the peace talks? I still remember how sad it was as he tried to piece together his broken mind, a mind Essek broke to save himself.
One kills for their country. Follows orders, kills when they find it necessary to protect those who cannot protect themselves. This is what she believes.
One GAVE AWAY a powerful religious artifact to HIS PEOPLE’S ENEMY. The intent was purely selfish curiosity.
One helped protect and study that artifact to PROTECT her country. The intent is curiosity to assist in her job, protect her country.
One finds the strength to allow himself to be loved and have friends after years of solitude. Because he just never was so fully loved. He finds the strength to let the ultimate time travel power and the knowledge that he was right go. To become comfortable with time he has left.
One finds the strength to listen to one of the only real, genuine relationships she’s ever had. Her first love. A reminder of her younger, hopeful self. She changes. She realizes the lies she’s allowed herself to believe. She finds the strength to not kill her torturer just to kill him. She finds the strength to testify. To promise that no other kids will suffer. Justice. To become comfortable with the time she has left.
One is a he.
One is a she/they.
I wonder what the issue is.
These characters are two sides of the same coin. They are both INCREDIBLY WELL THOUGHT OUT characters. They are more than just paramours of Caleb Widogast.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr2#cr3#astrid becke#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#shadowgast#widobecke#character analysis
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A comprehensive thought dump by two idiots about MCD season 1 upon recent rewatch 9 years later.
Aphblr has lied to me.
for years I have been told that Jessica Bravura’s Minecraft diaries is the superior watch to her other main series Mystreet which is just simply untrue as of my rewatch of the series 9 years after watching it for the first time.
true to the art form and writing style popular at the time MCD is a jumbled mess of things just happening with no clear connection and in some cases direction.
so many wasted opportunities because we are put promptly into the perspective of Aphmau. A character with very little substance and is shaped by the characters around her rather than the characters own actions.
the most interesting characters and concepts remaining firmly in the background. Such as Dale and Molly’s struggle with their daughter being turned into a shadow knight.
Brian’s sudden and barely built up betrayal of his family.
Kiki’s daughter being Zane lets be so real that child is literally just Zianna 2.0 (oh but Madi she’s a werewolf! Idc Cope.)
to Logan and Donna’s love story.
Most characters in the for front don’t talk about there own trauma’s or really anything there feeling outside of there love feelings for or about Aphmau.
Even as the production value went up I find the most interesting arc is the pikoro arc. As it showed genuine comradely between our main characters and established a clear dynamic. Only for the Scaleswind war arc to completely ruin that by making Garroth lose all rational thinking and an extreme entitlement to Aphmau. Writing it as if Zane brainwashed it doesn’t make the uncomfortable and frustration go away.
Zane was a good villain, while motives are fairly unclear he had a genuine presence and had fairly smart well executed plans. (Ein is definitely not a better villain.)
Something that stuck out to me; was how much of the plot probably could’ve been solved with the poorly thought out magic system, specifically Kawaii-Chan.
Kawaii-Chan practices forbidden soul magic and is able to give inanimate objects a conscious. So Lion point out something interesting; couldn’t she just trap parts of the main characters soul in a doll and just, save them incase the worst happens? Imagine what she could do with relics.
Every time Lucinda is on screen I fear what comes out of her mouth. Because I’m just going to ask later “why can’t she just do this?”.
anyway here’s a list of our favorite characters in no particular order;
chicken shamen
Brendan
Logan
Yip
Donna
Katelyn
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2.15 Tall Tales
-once again we have an earth-shattering revelation episode followed by silly sibling hijinks episode. Last episode Dean confirmed out loud he would rather die than kill Sam and that he is devoted body and soul to saving him. Now he is eating sloppily from a takeout container on Sam’s bed. Fascinating ecosystem.
-so Dean is on Sam’s bed. He likes hanging out and making a show of being annoying while lying on Sam’s bed. He must want Sam’s attention because it seems territorial. He’s licking his fingers and smacking his lips and being as loud and expansive as possible. Maybe Dean is reclaiming Sam in some way after he was possessed last episode by laying claim on his space.
-Sam asks Dean to turn down his music so Dean turns it up, and the song is actually so fucking perfect look at the lyrics
I could really just highlight the entire song. It’s about someone avoiding talking to the subject and the subject feeling out of their mind lonely about it.
It sets the tone for the whole episode and adds meaning to why they’re getting on each other’s nerves so badly. They’re avoiding talking about the big thing on their minds and subsequently picking at other things and at each other. Again, they’re lonely when there’s distance between them and they don’t feel they belong to each other.
-Sam and Dean recount their investigation into the case so far to Bobby. It’s a storytelling device that allows us to see into the characters’ perspectives and the ways in which they are unreliable narrators.
Sam recalls Dean being a sloppy drunk and basically asking him to have a foursome with him, a girl at the bar, and her sister. He recalls Dean leering at him and wiggling his eyebrows and Starla drunkenly hanging off of Dean, doing the same. It very much seems as though Dean and Starla are suggesting a small, incestuous orgie.
Sam turns up his nose because Dean is drunk and he thinks the girl is trashy and tanked. His judgment toward her is palpable and betrays his jealousy. It’s also a glimpse into the way he perceives Dean’s attempts at setting him up—he recognizes Dean’s interest in him sexually, he remembers when this happens, but he doesn’t think it’s serious because he thinks it’s about the girls rather than about him. Dean is a himbo in his story, kind of without intention or feeling.
Dean, however, describes hitting it off with a woman who is a classy grad student. He remembers Sam being extremely feminine and prissy and confronting him about making out with a woman like he’s Dean’s nagging girlfriend.
Trying to set Sam up is not a part of his story, instead he tells it like he’s the center of attention and Sam is jealous. It makes me wonder if Dean is self conscious about how he treats Sam, how he often involves him in his sex life. Later in the series Dean is described as “needy” more than once in the context of his relationship with Sam as a way to taunt both of them. It’s interesting that Dean would feel shame about needing Sam, whereas Sam’s shame is never really about needing Dean. This is one of the dynamics in their relationship that tends to operate consistently in the background for the entire show, and I see it as a birth order thing. Dean as the older sibling feels responsible for Sam, so he can’t be clingy and unhinged the way that Sam sometimes is without really thinking anything of it.
Dean also portrays Sam as feminine. Like, flamboyant. It’s probably easier for Dean to focus on Sam’s sexuality and make fun of him for being gay rather than take him seriously for being in love with him. So Dean is doing the same thing Sam is doing, dismissing Sam’s intentions and chalking his behavior up to something else.
Both stories are defensive in their own ways: Dean paints himself as totally uninterested in Sam. Sam paints Dean as indiscriminate and careless in his attentions but wanting Sam to join in. Common elements are Dean’s attention being on someone else and Sam being jealous. The variables are the why’s.
-Bobby: you’re bickering like an old married couple
Dean: no see married couples can get divorced
Okay so you’re not like an old married couple—not because you’re not married or because you’re not a couple, but because your connection is more permanent? Okay!
The brothers say they’re more like conjoined twins which is wild because regular siblings get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are not regular siblings and that description is not enough for them so they describe themselves as physically part of each other. Over and over we’re told that actually they are not “just brothers” like Sam said in Playthings.
-Dean was watching porn on Sam’s laptop. He eats in Sam’s bed and jerks off with Sam’s laptop and it’s like he’s a dog getting his scent on everything Sam touches.
-Sam gives Dean the sassiest look anyone’s ever given anyone
and I’m including it in this analysis because it’s giving major fem vibes.
-the alien story is actually super fucked up and horrifying, although it’s clearly played as a joke. The guy says he was probed and forced to slow dance. The brothers seem to be telling this particular story together in a shared perspective, because it’s already embarrassing for them to hear and talk about, and underneath the bickering they respect and understand each other.
-the next interview is Dean’s telling, and in it Sam is acting emotional and over-sympathetic and Dean says “you’re always saying pansy stuff like that.” Sam is once again caricatured as feminine and clingy. Dean puts a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and says It’s okay, and Sam’s face crumples. So in Dean’s retelling, he’s Sam’s shoulder to cry on when Sam is over emotional.
- Dean is reasoning through the connections in the cases and says the punishments are almost poetic “or actually it’d be more like a limerick” and sorry was anyone going to talk about Dean’s knowledge and interest in poetry?? I LOVE poetry but I didn’t technically know what the fuck a limerick was (so I googled it) and it’s a short poem that’s funny or silly in content. Dean is well-read. It would make SO much sense for him to be well-read because when he was younger he longed for more of a connection to the world outside of Sam and John and being locked in motel rooms, and reading would have been a good way for him to do that. He seems to enjoy fiction and characters he can relate to. It probably makes him feel less isolated.
-The brothers’ arguments this episode reveal such interesting glimpses into their life. Sam says “I don’t lose things” which would have been important as a child living out of motels trying to maintain his grades and seem normal. He probably learned as a child that he can’t just forget his things somewhere and go back to look for it later or call people he knows. If he leaves something in a motel room, that’s it, it’s gone forever, they will never go back and no one is finding and mailing it to him. I wonder if that’s also why he’s so particular about Dean not touching his stuff, because he had so little that was his. He probably got Dean’s hand-me-downs, and he had to share Dean himself with their dad which he famously hated.
Sam also says that Dean’s socks are in the sink. The only reason I can imagine for Dean’s socks being in the sink rather than just like, Dean leaving his dirty socks on the floor, is that he must’ve been washing them in the sink. Do they hand wash their clothing in motel sinks? It must be more convenient than going to a laundromat sometimes.
Sam also comments on Dean’s food going bad in the fridge. I read a whole essay on how this connects to Dean’s food insecurity, which makes sense to me. It also could be that he’s just kinda messy and doesn’t throw away his gross old food. I think Dean tends to get messier the more stressed out he is. He’s one of those people you can tell how he’s doing mentally by how his space looks— if he’s angry he’s breaking shit, stressed he’s looking worse for wear, happy he’s got everything neat and clean and starts nesting. Not to mention taking care of the Impala, his and Sam’s childhood home, is his pride and joy and one of the only mainstays in his life. His self care is very visible.
He is stressed as shit right now. Maybe eating greasy food on Sam’s bed is a cry for help and wanting Sam to talk to him about everything but not knowing how to bring it up.
-they fight over some money. It’s really something.
They are rolling around in bed grunting. Sam initiated the physicality of this fight by tackling Dean. It seems like a shared telling of what happened, and a good time to remember that the brothers have told wildly different stories and are both trying to make themselves seem as normal, cool, and under control as possible in these stories. And yet still they’re telling about the time they were rolling around and grunting in bed passionately. I’ll just leave that there.
-Sam pauses on the rush to the car with Bobby after driving a stake through the trickster’s heart. He starts apologizing to Dean, sincerity on his features, and Dean picks up on his intention and assures Sam “me too.” They gaze at each other lovingly over the roof of the Impala until Bobby interrupts and asks them to move it along.
-episode theme is perception, deception, and things not being what they appear. The trickster (Gabriel) casts illusions and the format of the narrative highlights how differently Sam and Dean can see the same story. They’re not seeing each other clearly, and they’re hiding from themselves, and it makes them lonely.
#wincest#samdean#supernatural#spn meta#sam and dean#spn 2x15#I really didn’t think this episode was that deep but one thing I know is when you look for wincest you’ll find it
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Heloooo! could you make some hcs on bonten? on mikey, ran, rin, sanzu, koko? separate? Thank youuu!
Hi queen I AM SO SORRY FOR DELAYING THIS! I had so much to do for school but here it is finally!!❤️Thank you so much for asking!
I love bonten sm like it really only had like at least 4 panels but damn it stole the whole show💀
I don’t know if you wanted me to have some nsfw or not so I just wrote fluff, if you want me to make an NSFW please let me know 🙏 I will have no problem with writing it.
Bonten X Reader
!She/her pronouns!
characters: Mikey, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu, and Kokonoi
WARNINS: drug abuse, E.D., murder, slight suggestive (for Ran obvi) angst, (Mikey :( )
Slight NSFW for Sanzu
………………………………………………….…………………………..
MANJIRO SANO (Mikey)
- I see a lot of writers writing bonten mikey as like heartless and completely cruel, especially to reader. I feel like he’d be stoic in public with you but behind closed doors, he’s on your lap, completely tender and soft with you.
- If you and him knew each other before, he begged you not to come with him when he was leaving before Takemitchi time-skipped, he wanted you to just forget about him and pretend he didn’t exist. But you just couldn’t. You were all he had. He couldn’t let you go. He’d miss you too much.
-if you guys met when he’s already in bonten, at first he’d be cold to you, like he’d be to anyone. But little by little he’d warm up to you.
-You’d probably be an executive there so he’d have you as his advisor instead of Takeomi. As you get closer to him, he’d definitely replace Sanzu with you. (Lmao poor sanzu)
-I just can’t picture Mikey sleeping around that much. Like he’d have a couple of women he slept with but he would be emotionally detached from anyone, well until he met you.
- has you always next to him in meetings, if you are sitting at a table, he’d have his hand on your thigh or holding your hand, it comforts him.
-When bonten is murdering hostages and Sanzu is laughing maniacally shooting them, Mikey prefers you to not attend those times, he specifically asked you to stay back. He doesn’t want you seeing those moments. However if you are there, he’d ask you to at least talk to him to distract himself from all the violence going on.
-Kisses your cheek and does small gestures that really flutters your 💜 . Even if it’s subtle, he just always wants to feel your warmth.
- He really appreciates you and values you more than anything. He’d spend times with you and suddenly he’s 15 again, hanging out with his friends. It makes him feel bittersweet. But you’re always there to comfort him.
- I feel like he takes heavy drugs. He’d completely go berserk and mass murder anyone he sees due to his dark impulses so he’d definitely use it all in drugs, he’d truly try to stop if you ask him though. (Poor guy😭)
- The more you guys would spend time together, the more he grew attached to you. Trying so hard not to fall in love, only failing when he sees small things you do that make him feel…something. He hasn’t felt anything for a long time.
-He loves you more than anything. He’d be super protective of you and always be by your side, only asking the same for him, and you’d gladly do it.
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RAN HAITANI
- Ran is always, always flirting with you, trying to get a reaction from you, especially if you’re the stoic type.
- He’d purposely glide his hands on your waist if he’s walking behind you, try to trip you and play the hero prince charming and catch you. It will always end up with you huffing and sticking your cute nose in air and he finds it so adorable.
- before you guys are a thing, he slept with a lot of women. Some even call him a womanizer. He’s famous in the brothel they own for sleeping with all the women. But he has his eyes on someone else~
- Always asking you bizarre questions that are unrelated to any topics you were talking about prior, just to annoy you. If you actually answer he’d be surprised and ask more.
- You two along with Rindou do hostage murders together (I seriously don’t know what rich mafia people do so sorry😭) he’s always whistle when he sees you taking the lead and getting the job done.
- if you two are dating, he’d sometimes just push you against a wall in the rich hallways and make out with you or like discretely tease you buy touching your lower back trying to get past you or playing with your hair, anything to get a reaction from you.
- Behind all the flirting from Ran, he’s actually really sweet.
-If you’re really busy with Bonten paper work, and you haven’t eaten yet, he’ll immediately buy you lunch. He knows what you like, what you don’t, what to take out, etc. HE KNOWS IT ALL.
-He’s very observant himself and takes note of everything you talk about, say you were talking about a book you wanted to Koko or Rindou, he’d listen and he’d buy it. Presenting it to you a day later.
-He’s a hopeless romantic at heart so he’ll be very romantic with you. Loves so much, he’d didn’t even realize it until Rindou pointed it out.
- He’s so silly.
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RINDOU HAITANI
- Rindou is less flirtatious with you and more salty.
- I honestly imagine he has a similar personality as Tsukkishima from Haikyuu. He likes to mock and poke fun at you, his own way of getting reactions from you.
- Although under all this, he’s sweet and nice with you. He’d buy you things you didn’t even ask for, refusing to take it back.
-I honestly think that even though he’s rich-rich and you’d think he’d want a materialistic girlfriend, he actually prefers someone who’s more humble than he is. Someone who doesn’t care about that stuff. And that was really hard to find until he met you.
-He definitely has his fair share of experience ifykyk. But he doesn’t do that anymore now that he has you. He’s even willing to wait for you if you don’t want to do it yet.
-Very laid back, of. He has his mean moments with others but like Mikey he’s wrapped around your finger the more he gets to know you.
-he feels foolish from his own self when he hears you talking about your innocent, priceless dreams. He thinks about how good it is that he hears another perspective on life. Especially from you.
-He’s has more intuition than Ran so he can catch your mood in an instant.
- he’s a huge listener so he’ll listen with no problem if you’re talkative. He LOVES your voice and can hear you talk all day.
-He knows everything you like, even if you guys weren’t dating, I’d imagine he’d know what you like even before hand what you like.
-You two would have a haters to lovers kind of relationship. But he’d fall first❤️
-He’s very loving to you.
-Honestly one of my favorite characters from TR
……………………………..,..,,,………………………………………
SANZU HARUCHIYO
- crazy mf.
-But I love him and he’s highly misunderstood.
-Realistically, he’s a very bipolar guy, like it’d take a while for him to finally warm up to you since he idolizes and worships Mikey. But you’d definitely be his favorite the more he hangs out with you.
- He is very protective of you. Anyone who crossed you, consider them dead. He will make sure of that.
- He always puts a facade that he doesn’t care about you, but little by little that mask breaks. He would not verbally show his liking towards you but his facial features very much tells you how he feels about you.
-he worships the ground you step on. As he thinks Mikey is a king. You’re his queen and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy you.
- If he sees you talking to a man that’s not bonten executives, he immediately stands next to you and removes you from the conversation, saying a lie like “we have something to do”
-when you’d ask him why he did that he just leave you with, “you’re not allowed” with no reasoning at all.
-He does very tiny things to show his feelings for you but as I said, he’s very difficult to love someone that isn’t Mikey (NO SHIP TRUST ME, tjsi is just from the manga since Sanzu refers to Mikey as a king.)
-I feel like he has very crazy thoughts, like his mind is a prison from how much he went through. (Like come on, watching his big brother figure drown himself and then watching the same thing happening to Mikey? So traumatic, on top of that Takeomi is so unfair to him. :()
- As we see from the manga, he takes a lot of drugs to make him forget and get high. He tries to chase the same feeling, but then he finds you so basically, you’re his new drug.
-Sex is another drug to him, he still does it when you’re around but lately, he’s been imagining you while fing another prostitute from the brothels. Searching for your same features and having the poor girl, ass up as he pounds her from behind. Thinking of you. Take that as you will.
- he’s severely touched starved and he doesn’t he know it, so when he realizes he falls for you, he wants your comfort but is too prideful to say so. He suffers alone where all he wants is to be in your arms :(
……………………………………………………………………………..
KOKONOI HAJIME
- Kokonoi buys things for you, things that you didn’t even ask for. He’s like a mom. He buys dresses and clothes for you and wants you to try them on, giving him a little fashion show. Any dress that you both don’t like gets returned.
- I honestly picture him with a girl who is very priceless. Like opposites attract he’s materialistic and you’re more cheap or not attracted to what money gives you. I feel like that type of person would help him break this obsessive thought about wanting money.
- you helped him get over Akane. So now he’s obsessed over you. Not so much as Sanzu but he just likes to be in your presence.
- Kokos type of girl is someone who is witty, intelligent, and cunning. He can’t stand bimbo girls. He also needs someone who’s sweet. He has a habit of overworking himself, he needs someone to burden his burdens with him.
- He buys you things even if you refuse. He has this need to spoil you, especially if you grew up with the bare minimum or below.
- He would say he doesn’t think of you as a love but does things that literally mean more than friends. He can’t help it.
—————————————————————————-
That’s all for now, let me know if you want the rest of the bonten members.
And again I AM SO SORRY RESPONDING SO LATE. I was so caught up in school!
I’d HIGHLY recommend checking out Meraki_Unwritten on Wattpad. Her stories are so SO GOOD lIKE I HAVE A CORE MEMORY READING HER STORIES IN SUMMER OF 2023. Please check her out! This is important because I’m going on Rindou’s personality based off her book “Dollface” a RINDOU X READER book! she has a Mikey one, Sanzu, Ran, Rindou. They are all finished, the Mikey one is on the road to finishing! She had a Kakucho and Izana one but it’s unfortunately discontinued since she’s graduating college, But I am happy for her! She’s such a good writer and her books will make you happy, sad, etc. SHE IS SUCH A GOOD WRITER AND IM HER BIGGEST FAN. IF SHE HAS ZERO FANS, IM DEAD!
#tokyo revengers x reader#manjiro sano x reader#ran haitani x reader#rindou haitani x reader#kokonoi hajime x reader#sanzu haruchiyo x reader
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Do u think Azula should’ve gotten a redemption arc? I know she’s one of ur favorites
i’m gonna answer this using “should’ve” as the key word. because no, i don’t think she should’ve gotten one. as in, i am not at all upset that she didn’t get one nor do i feel like her narrative was calling for it
the thing about redemption arcs is that they can fall really flat if the character themselves isn’t actively seeking to be better or being presented with reasons as to why their behavior is harmful, leading to them making several discoveries on their own. that’s what made zuko’s arc, at the very least, have substance. we’re shown that he values the life of others via certain flashbacks (the 41st division scene being the biggest one) and thus already possesses the inklings of questioning their father and his belief system. this makes it all the more believable when we see him have shocked and upset reactions upon seeing the destruction his family has caused. cause he understands death as a sacrifice and death as a punishment, and he’s a fan of neither. as his arc progresses, it is believable that he would eventually turn his back on his family and nation to resolve the atrocities of his ancestors
but what also made zuko’s arc so interesting and convincing was seeing azula’s arc mirroring his. they’re both troubled children who were forced into this war in the same way—seeking their father’s approval so desperately. they’ve both been let down by their parents to irredeemable lengths and are both victims of that neglect and abuse. and for awhile, this trauma manifests itself in very similar ways. zuko takes his task of finding the avatar very very seriously and we see how much of herself azula puts into her battles to achieve the fire nations ultimate goal of ruling the world. they both want the power, the honor, and acceptance from their father
but zuko was given the chance to see the world and witness firsthand the consequences of the fire nation’s colonialism through his exile. while azula was living in the palace, surrounded by the luxuries of their family’s evil, zuko was seeing the tragedies of it. this in combination with his already established questioning of his father’s battle moves made for a believable redemption. azula never appeared to possess that questioning of their father’s ideology—and we see that she ends up fully embracing it by the time she’s about 14 years of age—and was never fully exposed to their family’s damaging rule, and so her lack of remorse and overwhelming hunger for power makes sense. and thus their paths end up separating, with zuko no longer feeling as confident and loyal to his family and azula wanting nothing more than to become the leader of this regime so that she can oversee and dictate the expansion of the fire nation’s rule—her rule
but that trauma was still there for her. zuko was able to gain the confidence to confront it as he worked with the gaang and aided in ending the war. whereas azula’s trauma was heightened and triggered when she was sat at the footsteps of receiving the highest title in the fire nation. the power of the fire lord and the lack of nurture that she received—through which her trauma stems from—was her undoing. her ultimate goal—the goal that was piled onto her by her father and forefathers—was at her fingertips and it was just too much
and i do wish that the show and, more specifically, the comics handled her mental health better, but in terms of redemption, i don’t believe that’s needed. her arc does not have to be an exact copy of zuko’s where she sees the atrocities her and her family have committed and converts to the good side in order for it to be well-done. not every antagonist needs to have a coming to jesus moment in order for them to be loved by the audience or receive sympathy. because i think azula is very easy to sympathize with even without the redemption arc. and i think her character is all the more special because she doesn’t receive one. because that’s just life—sometimes the cruelest people have the saddest backstories and that doesn’t warrant them a redemption. it just makes them believable
so no, i don’t think she should have received a redemption. would i be upset if she did receive one? who’s to say. if it was done well and in a way that made sense specifically for her, then i’d loved to have seen it. but overall, i don’t think she was in need of a redemption. she had always fully embraced her father’s ideology and therefore a redemption during canon or post-canon would have felt like a stretch. azula is many things and a brilliant antagonist is one of them and that’s okay. she can stay an antagonist and i promise that doesn’t make her any less complex or interesting or sympathetic or human
#hope i articulated this well LMAO#might reread and edit some things cause i was typing fast#so if i sound dumb as fuck pls ignore i tried 😭#azula#princess azula#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#prince zuko#fire lord zuko
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A Rating & Scathing Review of RWBY Characters:
Done by: Me (surprise!)
This is a serious review where I seriously analyze each character and rate them all seriously!!
If I hurt anyone in this, I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me. It’s nothing personal.
That being said, let’s get on to the ratings!
Ruby Rose:
Can I just say:
I really just love Ruby. Isn’t she awesome? Like. Man. What a lovable, strong, caring, amazing person! Had the weight of the world thrown onto her, and she didn’t care, she just kept doing what she thought was the right thing. And when she broke? It was still selfless. She thought she was doing the world a favor after all her mistakes. Then she came back because she knew she could do and had to do more for everyone. She needs a hug and all the love.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Weiss Schnee:
Weiss??? The way she opens up and goes from being all, “friendship? Who needs it.” To, “I! Love! My! Friends! Friendship is magic! I will fight tooth and nail for them! They are the most important people in the world!” And the way she became so open minded after learning from different perspectives? Gotta love her.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Blake Belladonna:
Oh my gosh and another of my favorites: Blake! She learns to let herself be loved by those around her! She learns that letting people in isn’t a weakness, but a great strength! She is a fierce protector and a whole civil rights activist taking the world by storm! She finds a way to show love now in any scenario when beforehand she didn’t because she was scared to get hurt. Gosh. Spectacular.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Yang Xiao-Long:
Don’t even get me started on Yang. Protector Supreme. The way she used to let her emotions control her to controlling her emotions??? I’m in shambles. From learning how to live for herself and not just her sister??? It’s important even though she missed rubys pain she’s only human and she’s beautiful!! The way she loves through her actions and defends through her words??? Just kill me now.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Jaune Arc:
Oh yeah and Jaune??? The character development??? Wowza. The way he’s always there for those he cares about??? Fantastic. The way he would throw everything away just to be there for his friends?? I am deceased. His fortitude and determination to keep pushing through?? Ugh.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Nora Valkyrie:
Nora??????? My Queen????? With her heart a beautiful storm that she projects to all those around her??? Her protective nature over everyone??? How she learns that she needs to love herself and know herself before she can truly dedicate herself to another???? Literally puts me 6 feet under.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Pyrrha Nikos:
Pyrrha??? Don’t think I’m leaving her out of this! Her heart was so strong with her convictions and her love for her friends that she literally did everything she thought she could to protect them. She wanted to define her destiny and save the world in the way she thought only she could. I will literally never recover.
Rating:
Infinity/10
Oscar Pine:
Oscar???????????????? My baby???? My precious little prince??? Innocent farm boy who keeps getting slapped in the face by literally everyone (seriously crwby this poor boy needs a break and a hug) literally losing his soul but wants to spend every second he has doing everything he can for remnant???? He didn’t ask for this???? And yet here he is??? I haven’t stopped crying since V5 thank you very much!
Rating:
Infinity/10
Lie Ren:
Ren????? My boy??? Who feels like he always has to be the strong one emotionally??? Who always has to mask his own emotions to take care of others???? Who literally developed a semblance, a manifestation of his SOUL that is empathy??????? Like what???? Who would literally rather be dead than without Nora?? Who tried to take up the mantle of Jaunes emotional support humanness???? Orkcmekwkqo.
Rating:
Infinity/10
I could go on for the rest of my life for these people and literally every other character.
Also, how come tumblr doesn’t have more colors available??? Truly a tragedy and quite rude if I might say! Hmph!
I really hope someone gets some giggles out of this like I did!
Let me know if anyone wants me to do another HIGHLY critical review (ahem) and rating of these characters.
Gonna go cry now bye-
#I just love rwby so much????#like each and every character is so important to me???#I love all of them???#except maybe cinder and Salem and watts and Tyrian#cinder might find her way into my good graces some day but this is not that day#but I do love her whole character as a villain#as in I love to hate her sometimes#but oh well#I’m sorry I just needed to rant about everyone being amazing#also#i ship everyone with therapy#please give them therapy#they really need it#rwby#greenlight volume 10#greenlight rwby volume 10#greenlightvolume10#save rwby#crwby#save crwby#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#oscar pine#lie ren#how many tags can I fit in here
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Edges of the Night (Chapter 16)
**tw/cw implied suicidal thoughts**
Thank you so much for keeping up with this story I loved writing that last chapter but truthfully, I haven’t had the stomach to read the comments yet because I’m scared!
In other news, one of my favorite characters to write is angry, outraged, incensed, deranged Scully. I think those were Gillian’s best moments on the show, and I can just picture her seething and frothing with fury here. I hope you enjoy my iteration of Angry Scully.
She didn’t mean to do it.
She didn’t mean to fall asleep.
She knew better than to let her guard down, not while Mulder was spouting off crazy things like your life will be better without me. But he had settled them so comfortably in the bed, forehead to forehead, and his arms had felt so good around her shoulders, and his breathing was so slow and steady in her ear, and her body was so exhausted from fighting for so long . . .
The moment she opens her eyes, Scully knows what he’s done.
She sits up so fast her vision blurs. She whips around to the other side of the bed, finding his place empty, gone cold many hours ago.
Panic, then fear, then anguish hit her like tidal waves, and then she’s sprinting through the upstairs rooms. He’s not anywhere to be found, so she flies downstairs, tripping over the last step. Alan appears out of nowhere and reaches out to steady her but she shakes him off.
She zeroes in on Frohike, who looks awfully suspicious leaning against the front door.
Indignation swells in her chest and she storms over to him, reaching out to yank him away. Her fingertips are just brushing the edge of his jacket when Byers throws an arm in between them, blocking her. Without thinking, her hand flies out and she smacks him across the cheek. Byers stumbles backward in shock and she gapes at him, surprised by her own actions.
A long moment passes where the entire room falls still with anticipation. Scully’s gaze locks onto Byers’ bewildered look, and as a red mark slowly starts to bloom across his cheek, she blinks.
“I’m so sorry,” she breathes.
He shakes his head slowly and raises a palm to his face, as if to check whether she really did slap him. His eyes turn somber. “No, we’re the ones who should be apologizing, Agent Scully.”
She glances around at Frohike and Langly, who are studying her with awkward, guilt-ridden looks. Sensing Alan and Skinner nearby, she twists around, seeing them standing shoulder-to-shoulder like a pair of soldiers. A low, boiling sensation curls hot in her belly.
Each and every one of these men betrayed her.
Each and every one of these men helped Mulder leave her.
“You have to tell me where he went,” she warns them all darkly, her voice trembling with rage. If Alan is put off by her intensity, he doesn’t show it.
Byers shakes his head remorsefully. “We don’t know.”
She turns on Frohike, stabbing a finger at his chest. “You have to know. If he were going to tell anyone where he was going, it would be you.” Her chest heaves and she sees a flutter of acknowledgement in Frohike’s eyes. She seizes on it. “You do know where he went, don’t you?” Her eyes turn feral, accusatory. She steps forward, pushing Byers aside. “Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to shake it out of you?”
The little man looks momentarily alarmed, but then his face assumes a mask of composure. “I—I don’t know where he is,” he says weakly, “and I would do almost anything to take this pain from you,” he adds with sincerity. His brow creases in agony. “But I—I don’t know . . . .”
“You’re lying.”
He shifts uncomfortably and she wonders if she really has it in her to hurt him, if she’s really willing to do that to get to Mulder.
“I won’t—I can’t—I don’t know where he is,” he repeats defeatedly, but he is unwilling to meet her gaze.
“Then you are dead to me,” she spits. Frohike’s eyebrows shoot up and she steps in closer, lowering her voice. “You think you know what’s best for Mulder? Or for me? Do you think Mulder gets to decide what’s best for my life? When am I going to get to make my own goddamn choices?” She whips around to face the rest of the room. “When are any of you going to realize that my life isn’t yours to manipulate?”
“Dana,” comes Alan’s soothing voice, and she draws in a lungful of air, willing herself to breathe. But there’s no air in this room. No air, no life, no hope. She turns over her shoulder to glance back at Frohike, whose face has turned pale with shame.
“I don’t know, Dana,” he finally whispers, and a flicker of doubt slides down her spine.
If Frohike isn’t lying—if he really doesn’t know where Mulder is—then there is no hope of ever seeing Mulder again.
Despair slips into her bones, begins to paralyze her muscles. Her vision spins and she takes a staggering step forward, pushing past Frohike to open the front door. Wintry air blasts her face as she stumbles down the porch steps and into the shelter of a grove of pine trees. She glances up at the darkening sky through tired eyes and prays for night to consume her. And then she turns her back on the house and throws up.
**
The plan is simple.
Skinner delivers the details to her a few hours after she storms out of the house, but only after trying and failing to get her to eat. He doesn’t bother apologizing or even acknowledging her anger. Instead, he is all FBI boss, briefing her on the facts and only the facts.
In the morning, he will drive her and Alan to the nearest regional airport, where they will board a plane for San Diego and, as Skinner shares through gritted teeth, “return to your normal lives.” To appease friends, family, work, the media, and the shadowy cohort of villains that has done this to her, Scully will sit for one short press briefing about her recent experience. She will tell the world that Fox Mulder kidnapped her and that once he was apprehended, he took his own life. If asked about her own gunshot wound, she will say Mulder inflicted it upon her.
She closes her eyes at this detail. It is beyond excruciating to think about publicly blaming Mulder for her suffering.
Skinner, she learns, is expected to return to the FBI as if nothing happened. He doesn’t offer up the details of his own experience and she doesn’t press.
She doesn’t really care, not about him, and certainly not about the Gunmen. When they try to bid her goodbye the next morning, she refuses to acknowledge them beyond a curt nod. She knows she should thank them for saving her life, for helping them get to safety, for providing a safe house in Montana, for coming to her rescue in the hospital . . . but she can barely look at them, much less speak. She’s afraid if she does open her mouth, it’ll be just to blast them all with another angry tirade.
But she’s operating on pure tunnel-vision. All she can see is Mulder, alone in this great vast world, alone in his suffering, never to see her ever again.
**
It’s Scully’s fifth time going down to the beach this week. She’s exhausted and her body needs rest, but she every time she closes her eyes, she sees Mulder. It’s been a week since she left the house out in West Virginia, a week since she and Alan flew back to San Diego.
Her life has been intolerable since returning: an unbearable press conference followed by a visit from her mother, an awkward phone call with her boss about taking leave. Oh, and then whatever happened last night.
Alan has visited her apartment every day since they returned to the west coast. He’s been good to her in a way that she hadn’t anticipated, especially since her behavior has been objectively unpleasant. First, the poor man was an unknown onlooker during her heartfelt reunion with Mulder; then he witnessed her enraged outburst at the house; and now that they’re back home, he’s got a front-row seat to her complete physical and emotional withdrawal.
But it hasn’t stopped him from bringing food over every night, or from running to the store for pain meds when her shoulder injury brings her to tears, or from filling her prescription antibiotics, or from driving her to the press briefing, or from changing the channel anytime the news mentions Mulder.
He hasn’t pressed her for anything, not for reciprocity, not for physicality, not for intimacy, not even for conversation. She assumes he’s anxious to return to the way things were between them, but her body feels more closed off than ever. Every night after he leaves, she cranks up the shower and slips inside to cry. Alan hasn’t so much as touched her hand since they left the home in West Virginia.
But tonight as he was preparing to leave, he took a step into her and gave her a quick, friendly parting hug. Their bodies didn’t even touch; just a brief touch of his arms around her shoulders. But it startled her so badly that she jerked away, and then watched with a sense of uncertainty as he apologized, then left.
Simply put, she isn’t ready for another man to touch her body. She’s relieved he hasn’t tried to kiss her. Even though she knows it’s absurd to want this for the rest of her life, she wants Mulder’s lips to be the last hers ever touch.
After Alan leaves, she debates slipping into the shower and giving into the desire to purge her emotions with a long cry. But tonight, the hug seems to have left her bereft, and a shower sounds emotionally exhausting. Instead, she tries to sleep, but like every night, rest doesn’t come easy. She’s considering taking a dose of the sleeping pills she used to rely on so heavily, but something about the prospect of drugging herself has been off-putting since she returned. So instead, after an hour of tossing and turning, she slips into sandals, loose pants, and a sweater, and heads down to the beach, just like she has every night for the past few days.
Her emotions confuse her as much as they overwhelm her. She knows, logically, that her brain is trying to process trauma. She recognizes the symptoms, knows that this vacillation between numbness and hyperarousal is normal. She recognizes that the ping-ponging between disconsolate grief and gut-wrenching anger is also normal. She also recognizes that her anger feels better than her grief, and so she nurses the anger whenever it comes up.
As she stomps down the sand towards the ocean, she feels overcome with fury. Fury towards Mulder, who once again decided he knew best. Fury towards Skinner and Frohike for the same reason. Fury towards Alan for touching her tonight. And most agonizingly, fury towards herself for falling asleep the day Mulder left.
Here on the beach, her muscles tense as that fury washes over her, as it burns through her system. It leaves her gasping aloud and clenching her fists so tightly that her skin breaks under her sharp nails.
The fury sings through her so fast and so feverishly that she keels over, clutching at her aching stomach. She knows she can’t go on like this. The rage inside her is exhausting.
She’s staring down at the waves lapping at her feet when it hits her—for the hundredth time this week—that she may never see Mulder again. That, even if she spent the rest of her life searching for him, she may never find him. As this thought overwhelms her, her anger slowly starts to morph into agony. She pushes at that feeling—no, go away—because while the anger is exhausting,the heartache is literally unbearable. She knows she cannot let herself give into her anguish. But before she can tame the thoughts and feelings whirling in her mind, her body catches up to her grief, and sweat breaks out along the back of her neck. She collapses to her knees. Waves crash around her legs and waist and saltwater stings at the small cuts on her palms. Her eyes burn.
How is she supposed to go on? What does life even look like without Mulder?
A strangled laugh escapes her. Hell, just a few weeks ago, there was a perfectly clear, perfectly pleasant answer to that question. Life without Mulder looked like Alan, and beach life, and a stable job, and California. Life without Mulder looked like sleeping pills at night, a mental blockade in her mind, and a heart that was partially stonewalled.
And then Mulder re-entered her conscious mind, and now here she is, as bereft as a grieving widow, lonely, heartbroken, angry, disconsolate. A large part of her wishes that he had never tried to save her life in the first place.
What is my life without him in it?
Scully stares out at the sea and her thoughts drift to another lifetime, to all the times she watched her mother valiantly hold back tears as her father sailed away. Her father dictated her mother’s life and emotions for so long. He called the shots with his comings and goings. And Maggie Scully was always expected to accept his choices.
A wave laps at her wrists and Scully’s mind starts to shift, to turn. Why is she, too, letting these men control so much of her life? What if she told them—all of them, Skinner, Mulder, the Gunmen, the super-villains who wanted Mulder dead—that her life is her own? That her choices are hers to make? That she’s in control of her own narrative?
Fuck you, living out the “normal life” that Mulder so desperately thinks she needs.
Fuck you, California and Alan and a prosperous career as a doctor.
Fuck you, a life built on choices other people made for her.
She stares out at the deep, dark, ocean, and begins to imagine the weight of the waves gliding over her body, begins to fantasize about the calm, peaceful pull of the sea as she slips down, down, down.
She could do it, right here, right now. She could wade out into the ocean and make her own fate. This time, the choice could be hers. Slowly, she rises to her feet and takes a step deeper into the sea. The waves pull at her knees, like they’ve heard her thoughts and relish the idea of this sailor’s daughter joining them in the saltwater depths.
How else can she take back control? she thinks erratically. Is this really the only way?
She stands in the breakers for a long time, so long that the moon rises above her head and tiny fish start to nip at her ankles. Everything and nothing pass through her mind. The hopelessness of her future, the grief that will follow her wherever she goes.
Will her life be bearable?
Grief is a noose around her neck, dragging her deeper into the water. And then, out of nowhere, she feels it. The tiniest, most insignificant trickle of hope.
Because Mulder isn’t dead, nor are they estranged. He’s out there in the world, alive and in love with her, and that means she can find him. As long as she’s alive, she can spend the rest of her life looking for him. And for a few critical moments, this faint sliver of hope is enough.
With one last look at the sea, she drags her feet out of the heavy, wet sand and slowly, resolutely walks back to the beach.
#mulder x scully#dana scully#the x files#x files fanfic#fox mulder#xfiles fanfic#x files#msr fanfic#msr#txf
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My Personal Smiling Friend’s Headcanons :D!
sfw + vague nsfw! if u don’t like them don’t comment or reblog n move along pls and thank u i just don’t want any drama at all ;w;
CHARLIE DOMPLER:
he/it + pansexual
audhd + bipolar + mdd
had braces in high school
HEARTS WEED❤️❤️❤️❤️
unfortunately vapes as well. fave flavors are like watermelon mango or some shit
speaking of substances he isn’t THAT big of an alcohol fan and is mostly a social drinker
#lowkey has catholic guilt
is actually an understanding, gentle guy, but people usually brush him off or see him as too “blunt”, “weird”, or “awkward” (he’s just autistic and people r mean)
also sort of hard to bond with because past experiences have made him afraid to be vulnerable and sincere around others
unfortunately smells like weed axe body spray and bonfires
bottom sub but prefers being a service top
biiiiig softie. wants to hide it but is absolutely terrible at it
his music taste is either the worst shit you’ve ever heard or it’s peak
unironically a pretentious musictwt nerd </3
purrs whenever happy!!!!
has an overbite
his orange hoodie is his comfort hoodie and also body dysmorphia hoodie (I love projecting issues onto my fave characters🔥🔥🔥)
LOVES praise of all sorts
a terrible hopeless romantic
PIM PIMLING:
he/him + bisexual w/ male lean
audhd + anxiety + ocd
wanted to become a teacher at some point in his life
while he gives out great advice, he’s terrible at taking his own
seems to be put together but is not in the SLIGHTEST
also very terrible hopeless romantic. this man Yearns™️
doesn’t really consume or enjoy music as much as the others, but enjoys whatever plays on the radio
he’s great at ALL love languages and treats all of his relationships and friendships in very kind, unique ways
LOVES ART!! he likes to draw landscapes and animals the most
stays away from substances of any kind but drinks occasionally, has to be a BIG occasion however
a true versatile switch with no preference
stims!!!
has a LOT of family trauma
SEVERE internalized homophobia because of said family trauma
he just really needs a genuine hug
enjoys baking with a passion and bakes things for his friends
loves listening to people ramble about their interests and could do it for hours
textbook definition of a people pleaser but is trying his hardest to get out of that mindset (not really working💔)
smells like cherry blossom and vanilla
ALLAN RED:
she/he + queer & aromantic
is fine with birth name but also likes the name “alanis”
autism
VERY private person. keeps a lot of private details to herself
social smoker
smells like fucking chemicals and red velvet
listens to a lot of goth music. loves gothic metal
kind of like charlie music wise (both listen to underground things, but allan’s music taste is ACTUALLY more underground than just being online popular)
is a fucking MATH NERD!!! Definitely helped charlie in high school with his math homework
also LOVES english as well, knows a lot of classic literature and has her own library
speaking of charlie, had a fwb situationship thing with him at one point in time
HATES the rain
doesn’t do well with compliments or affection
DOMINANT AF LETS GOOO🔥🔥🔥either a power bottom or a dom top
very great with animals, prefers cats
also stims a lot, uses stim toys like fidget cubes or rubix cubes
has SHARP ass teeth
on HRT for a couple months, everyone is very supportive
enjoys gardening duh
picky eater and extremely particular about what she eats
has the sleep schedule of an old person. usually sleeps around 8-9pm
hot showers are the best thing ever
has scars from crucifixion
HATES HOT WEATHER! it makes her overstimulated
into writing
GLEP:
any/all (likes having name in place of pronouns) + queer
audhd
knows lots of languages, but English and Wingon is Glep’s primary languages
listens to a LOT of loud shit. nasenbluten, xrin arms, annoying ringtone, crystal castles, & delta 9 are some examples of what Glep usually listens to
met Pim first out of all the smiling friends
unfortunately obsessed with brainrot youtube shorts that make no sense
extremely invested in space
does bright eyebleeding digital art in spare time and has quite the following online
doesn’t fuck with sex much but is also a true versatile switch
best friend is allan
closer to pim and allan but loves charlie too!!!
into experimental, weird, niche animated movies
hates energy drinks with a passion
has smoked weed a couple times but it doesn’t do much for glep
has also done psychedelics with allan, had a grand ol time
comfort item is wizard hat and bean bag is comfort chair that nobody else is allowed to sit in or ELSE
probably runs FL studio like the US Navy
really fucking funny
easily irritated
smells like those warhead sour candies and coffee
has a lot of money in bank account, does not tell anybody
very fun person to party with
pulls all nighters consistently
causes glep to be super sleepy and take tiny naps throughout the day at the office
on days off, usually spends time out around local shows with allan and charlie and plays DJ mixes
had a good upbringing and home life, probably the most mentally stable one out of the four
#smiling friends#leave me requests in my inbox if u want a post like this :333#smiling friends headcanons#charlie dompler#sfw#nsfl#pim pimling#allan red#charlie smiling friends#glep#glep smiling friends#alan red#Pim smiling friends#Allan smiling friends#alan smiling friends#Allan red headcanons#alan red headcanons#charlie dompler headcanons#Pim pimling headcanons#glep headcanons#junky’s headcanons
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I was going to make a post about which greek heroes the jrwi pcs are but i came up with a better idea. Which greek myths/stories the jrwi pcs are, mostly just based on themes and vibes and stuff. Also some of these will be combinations of two or more characters when that’s required to make things fit
Riptide
Jay: starting off with what i think is the easiest one. The myth of Icarus, but more specifically: she’s Daedalus. Crafting wings for herself to escape the prison she has been locked in, reaching freedom but losing her family in the process. It just fits very well. (Was this entire post inspired by @enby-ralsei’s fic gifted wax wings? Maybe)
Gillion: had kind of a hard time choosing between the Illiad and the twelve labors of Heracles, but landed on the Illiad. It fits him as a story of war, of wrath and prophecies and higher powers playing with the lives of mortals. Achilles, the child of a goddess, an extremely capable warrior able to level entire armies by himself, but still human, still fully aware that he will die for the war he is fighting in. Helen, an innocent bystander by all logical means, the child of a god, or a goddess, or mere mortals depending on who you ask, ripped from her home and thrust into a battle she never asked for a part in. It just… well. It fits pretty well, I think.
Chip: The Odyssey, specifically from Telemachus’ pov (huh both jay and chip got a myth but from a different pov than the title character). Just a now grown up son trying to find his father who he lost years ago, even when all likelyhood points towards him being long gone. …lets hope chip and arlin can also get a happy ending reunion? Maybe?? Please???
Prime defenders
Dakota: the myth of Perseus slaying Medusa. Perseus is like… the ideal greek hero even by modern standards. Which, you know, Dakota obviously isn’t flawless, but he is very much the ideal of heroism. Kind, willing to learn from his mistakes, forgiving, capable, strong in multiple ways, he inspires people (Mark, William, fucking the whole of WATCH) to be better. Perseus really just fits him with like how ideal his story is at least in its older forms (obviously gets very different vibes if we go with the later interpretation of medusa being a victim but the older versions fit dakota better so thats what im focusing on)
William: Hades and Persephone! Extremely complex and complicated, somehow simultaneously one of the healthier love stories in greek mythology and also the story of Hades kidnapping his wife.. yeah its complicated. Just like Will! Also you know themes of the underworld and death and rebirth :)
Vyncent: the twelve labors of heracles, it doesn’t really fit as well as some others do but i barely have any fitting ones left (not writing these in order) and at this point like 90% of the myths i have left are just men being the worst. So vyncent gets a myth thats NOT a man being the worst! A very strong and capable fighter, sometimes easily overtaken by his own anger, in desperate need to prove himself and make up for his past mistakes
Blood in the bayou
Rolan: King Oedipus… uh ignoring the incest. Focusing on the themes of discovering your true identity and being so horrified and disgusted by the truth that you can’t live with it, that you’re the monster you’ve been seeking this whole time. Being unable to ever go back to the way things used to be no matter how much you wish you could do so
Kian and Rand: Orpheus and Eurydice. Not in the sense of “this character is this one” but the different themes just fit them both so well. Kian is music, is love, is hope and failure and loss and /love/. Kian is Orpheus risking everything for those he loves. Kian is Eurydice dying again because that very love was always going to be her downfall. Kian is a tragedy, and we all know how it will end. Meanwhile Rand is grief, is loss, is refusing to move on and let go of those you love. Of looking back even when you know it will only hurt you more. Rand is Orpheus, forever stuck in mourning those he’s lost. Rand is Eurydice, never able to come back from where she has gone. Rand is a tragedy, and we all wish we didn’t know how it will end.
Apotheosis
Rumi and Peter: already talked about this in my which greek gods they are post but!! The myth of Eros and Psyche. A god and a mortal that fell for each other, pulled apart by their circumstances. The mortal dying, only to be brought back by their godly lover and raised to godhood themself. A happy and loving marriage with their (lizard) children. It just fits so well
Thanatos: always feels ironic to pick a myth that doesnt involve Thanatos himself but. I think Thanny fits the story of Prometheus pretty good. Defying the gods by stealing fire for humanity and succeeding in that goal but then getting trapped forever because of that. I mean Thanatos you know stayed trapped willingly but still (also theres a real lack of greek myths where someone defies the gods and doesnt end up suffering like. A lot. Prometheus honestly got off somewhat easily compared to some others)
Not including the suckening since i still haven’t finished it :/ ill add my thoughts on the characters once ive done so
#this might make like zero sense but whatever#jrwi show#just roll with it#jrwi#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd#prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi bitb#blood in the bayou#jrwi bitb spoilers#bitb spoilers#blood in the bayou spoilers#jrwi apotheosis#jrwi apotheosis spoilers
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Hello, hello, have you seen the newest update of JJK? I'm so proud of my best boy, Yuuji....
Can, I ask, why do you think Yuuji is one of the character that is so underated in JJK? He is the mc, but many people (in fandom) treat him like a side character? At first, I don't think so, but I love many shounen, and somehow Yuuji is one of the mc that is underated in their own story....
Sorry if I'm wrong, just I love Yuuji and want him to get the spotlight he deserve....
Sorry it took me so fucking long to reply to this.
If you think that the story doesn’t focus on him enough then I don’t really agree with that but I don’t think it’s wrong of you to feel like that. But I’m not sure this is even what you meant, I just wanted to move this out of the way. And the following paragraphs will explain that a bit. That will be the nice part of this reply.
JJK isn’t a story that mainly follows one character and the plot happens only where that character is. For example, as much as I watched of Demon Slayer (I think up to season 3 and I have no interest in picking it up again ) or read of the Chainsaw Man (first part, I got bored a few chapters into the second), made me think that those stories are too focused on one character. Villains did villain things on the side but the story always came back to the main character and focused on him in the end and plot usually happened where he happened to be, and he was the one to kill the bosses. In JJK even if the story lines feed into each other, they have much more independence and it doesn’t feel that Yuuji is the centre of the universe and the story just waits for him to move. And my personal preference is for the JJK kind of story, as I said CSM and Demon Slayer didn’t manage to hold my interest.
It’s just a matter of preference. And If you’d like the story to be more streamlined around him there’s nothing wrong with that.
That being said, I think that the JJK story still strongly centres around Yuuji.
He’s connected to all the most memorable and important villains of his time (aka those that didn’t die before he became a sorcerer). He’s one of the linchpins of Kenjaku’s plan and the only one of their experiments that they seem attached to, he’s Mahito’s obsession, he’s Sukuna’s nightmare and now also obsession.
Yuuji is also strongly connected to all the major JJK themes: weakness vs strength, human connection vs loneliness, the value of life, bodily autonomy, humanity vs dehumanisation, oppressive systems of power, tradition, gender stereotypes, drive and agency, jujutsu world vs the normie world, family, love and friendship, new vs old.
I think only Kenjaku also really connects to all of these to the same degree as Yuuji does, though some of the other characters are close like Sukuna, Maki or Megumi. Gojou or Nobara aren’t that strongly connected to some of them. And characters like Getou or Yuuta are even more tangentially connected to some of them or not at all. Yuuji really is the one who brings it all together.
Here ends the nice part of this answer. Everything that follows will be rather bitter and unkind towards the JJK fandom. Because I’m really fed up with it as a larger group.
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__________________________________
So why does the fandom treat Yuuji like shit? There are a few reasons that can be pointed to and they apply to varying degrees to the behaviour of individual fans.
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Part 1 - This fandom is the fucking pits
The fandom in itself is absolute fucking garbage. Like interacting with it will make you lose faith in humanity and give you brain damage.
Casual fans
JJK is a fairly popular title in the west and the fandom is quite big and loud. It’s an ongoing title with a hype anime and there are a lot of casual fans. It’s full of:
People who also like many other things and don’t really follow the story closely and don’t really know the lore.
People who read/watched JJK once and haven’t really taken the time to understand the story and its world.
People who as @/cursedvibes says have issues with object permanence and don’t remember what happened a few chapters earlier, and who feel that if the character isn’t in the frame that means that they are dead and/or forgotten and/or were always irrelevant.
People who don’t really like stories like JJK but have never understood the idea of saying “this is not for me” and moving on. Instead they take it as a personal offence that this popular title doesn’t cater to their specific tastes. And they often have the delusion that their personal taste is the mark of objective quality.
People who only want flashy fights and/or power scaling.
A lot of these people feel that they need to shit out content about JJK on social media because that’ll get them into the trending tags. And since they don’t really have any opinions of their own apart from not being satisfied with JJK they find some cold take that sounds clever to them and regurgitate it over and over again until a new clever-sounding cold take becomes popular, rinse repeat.
Those people should be ignored, blocked or muted. They’re just riding some pathetic bandwagon and clout chasing.
___
Righteous Haters
The cold takes the casual fans regurgitate usually come from people who just thrive on criticising popular things. Those divide into:
The “Intellectuals” who think they are better than the plebs who like popular things. In their mind popular things can do nothing right and are by default shallow and stupid.
The “Enlightened” who will jump at any opportunity to call something problematic and emerge as the morally pure person.
It’s hard to tell whether these people actually read the story and know it well. Their takes are usually very divorced from the text and I’m always on the fence whether it’s due to genuine lack of reading comprehension or willful misinterpretation.
If you engage with these people they will argue with fucking manga panels, like they will not accept the text even if it’s presented to them. They are honestly a joke. But a lot of them will die on the hill of discrediting Yuuji and spread that opinion around wrapped in pseudointellectual language. Some of them will even put on the airs of academia without knowing how to academia a text in any of the many possible academic analysis ways. Or how to academia about social issues. It’s an intimidation tactic that makes me disrespect them.
Among the JJK enlightened you will find a lot of terfy pseudo feminism. It will be very conservative flavoured and really misogynistic, usually not overtly queerphobic but the vibe will be there, and it will aggressively bring up the general fandom opinion that Gege is a man (which may even be true but Gege doesn’t officially gender themself) to attack and discredit Gege and their work, according to the terfy belief that all men are dangerous and evil. There will also be a lot of intellectualised transphobia especially in relation to Kenjaku, but also Uraume, Tengen and Kirara. And all so funny homophobia about how in their opinion Gege is attracted to their male characters.
___
The thirsters
JJK surprisingly aggressively caters to the female and queer gaze in ways that most shounen just don’t. I once wanted to make a joke post titled “The Masculine Forearm, the true main character of JJK” just consisting of panel after panel that is angled in such a way to put the skillfully drawn male hands and strong forearms front and centre. (The masculine hand and forearm are often mentioned in relation to the female gaze.)
I gave up, there’s just too many of those, simply look at the covers. It’s really funny because Gege does not hide the forearms of Yuuji or Megumi, but at least in the earlier manga that I analysed from that perspective, the forearm angles of those two are much tamer than for example when Sukuna or Nanami are shown. It almost feels like Gege knows or subconsciously senses that the forearm is thirst, is fanservice, and Gege is very consistent about not sexualising the teenage girls and likely also the boys.
The forearm is of course the tip of the fanservice iceberg. Everything about the JJK men is very that to the point that JJK is widely known for its sexymen. There are people, including fan creators, in the fandom who have never read or watched JJK, they just learned of the sexymen thirsted hard enough to join the fandom.
These are the people who usually won’t actively attack Yuuji, they will just flood the fandom with the posts about their favs and make it seem that few people care for Yuuji.
There are also Yuuji thirsters but there aren't that many of them.
Yuuji is 15 years old in canon and some people just draw a line at thirsting over a character that is underage in canon. And as long as they don’t insult or harass others about that I don’t give a shit what they do.
But also even if Yuuji was of age, Yuuji is not a prime thirst object. He’s for a slightly more refined palette. And he becomes more desirable if you understand his character better.
On the surface Yuuji is a himbo, a dumb jock with a heart of gold and a cute face. There’s no mystique to him, no edge. This view of him is very widespread. For some thirsters that is enough but it’s not a popular thirst worthy type.
There are some thirsters who actually know the source material and know who Yuuji is but those are people who are in the JJK fandom for more than just thirst.
Generally I don’t have a problem with thirsters but the more ignorant ones contribute to the general fandom idea that there’s nothing interesting to Yuuji.
___
Gojou and SatoSugu fans
I ranted about those people a lot and everything I’ve written about them holds up. A large and loud subset of them will spam all the tags, will create posts that boil down to “JJK is about Gojou (and Getou) actually and everything that happens in JJK is about him (them), regardless if it happens to other characters”. If you don’t actually block them on sight, wading through the main JJK tags is nigh impossible.
Gojou really won the internets and is truly the “strongest” of the JJK sexymen.
The overabundance of content about him exposes a lot of people to the “meta” his fans produce in droves. I put it in quotation marks because fuck, so many of these people are allergic to canon and what they write is deranged fanfiction tagged as meta or discourse. Gojou exists in the western fandom more as headcanon than canon. And to people who aren’t really invested in JJK, he seems like the main and most important character.
There are both shippers, thirsters, casual fans and righteous haters (they hate everything about JJK but Gojou (and Getou) in this group.
And of course they influence the perception of what JJK is, including the perception of Yuuji.
___
Sukuna fans
There are some of them who will spread takes that reduce Yuuji to Sukuna’s skin suit and will generally treat Yuuji as a function of Sukuna, not a separate character. Interestingly enough, Kusakabe is one of them but he pretends to be a Sukuna hater.
___
People who think Kusakabe speaks the truth straight from Gege’s brain
Because the reading comprehension in the fandom is very poor, there are people who take whatever Kusakabe says at face value and will ignore everything else that has happened in the manga thus far. They also haven’t picked up on the fact that Kusakabe has always been deeply biassed against Yuuji.
Why is Kusakabe still alive?
And honestly not only Kusakabe, to them any character that discredits Yuuji is always correct and spot on.
___
Megumi and ItaFushi, SukuFushi fans
There is a subset of those fans that despise Yuuji with a passion. They think that Megumi either should be or is the main character of JJK. They think that Sukuna has been obsessed with Megumi from the start because Megumi is special and has incredible potential. They will pretend that the main JJK storyline revolves around Megumi, they will often ignore Kenjaku completely and pretend they are not the main driver of the story. Because admitting that Kenjaku, not Sukuna was the main villain of the story, would just by itself completely discredit Megumi as the main character, because Megumi barely any connection to Kenjaku, only through Tsumiki and Yorozu, and has only a weak, practical, plot related and not thematic connection to Sukuna. He became Sukuna’s escape plan and a tool to kill Gojou.
He has no connection to any other major villains or antagonists in current day JJK. He’s only connected to Touji and Naoya, but it can be argued that Yuuji had more dealings with Naoya than Megumi.
Yuuji’s connections to Sukuna are:
Practical - being Sukuna’s vessel and cage.
Plot related - he is Kenjaku’s way of controlling Sukuna and being Sukuna’s vessel influences everything about how Yuuji functions in the story and how he relates to other characters.
Emotional - they both harbour strong negative feelings for each other, Sukuna even more than Yuuji.
Familial - they are related. Yuuji doesn’t know and would just likely compartmentalise it. Sukuna pretends he doesn’t care but it’s clear he cares very much actually.
Philosophical - Yuuji by merely being himself challenges Sukuna’s whole worldview.
Thematic - strength vs weakness, sorcerer vs normie, humanity, value of human life, family, love, connection and loneliness, tradition, new vs old, bodily autonomy.
If those Megumi fans are shippers they will often push the dumb himbo stereotype on Yuuji. There are a lot of fics in the ItaFushi and FushiIta tags that will treat Yuuji as the necessary evil but you can really feel that the authors dislike him. Finding fics there from his POV or at least exploring him is a fucking chore. And that is or at least used to be the most popular ship tag for Yuuji. Pages upon pages of stereotyping or downright character assassination working hard to replace the canon Yuuji with the fanon one in the general fandom consciousness.
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Part 2 - People say one thing and do/think another
Basically a lot of people are not really self aware or are hypocrites or just repeat things they read and never put any thought into them.
You will see a lot of people criticising shounen tropes. That shounen is formulaic, that the shounen main characters are all the same, that shounen battles are all the same, that shounen main characters are overpowered… and so on and so forth.
Those same people will latch onto Gojou and crown him the main character.
Because faced with Yuuji … they have no fucking clue what to do with Yuuji. They finally got a shounen main character that at first glance might seem like the same old shounen main but very quickly it becomes clear he absolutely isn’t that.
So there are three reactions to that.
Denial
No, Yuuji actually is a stereotypical shounen main. He’s got colourful hair, he’s strong, he fights with his fist, he’s super dumb and kind of a pervert but nice and everyone instantly loves him. He gets power ups and learns everything too easily and too quickly, fights the bosses and breaks the story. And of course he has a sob story and is related to the villain. And his mum has a braid.. She doesn’t, well she does have a ponytail, kinda, in two of her bodies anyway…
And that’s it, there’s all there is to him, there’s nothing more to see.
Faced with canon they will reject all arguments or block you.
___
Rage
Yuuji is so fucking weak, why is he so weak? Why are there other characters in this story that get focus? Why is everyone more powerful than him? Why doesn’t he power up and destroy all the bosses, what kind of fucking shit is this? Well at least there’s Gojou the fucking GOAT, let’s go the strongest!!!
Gojou died? Why? Didn’t he say he was the strongest? Why the fuck is Yuuji there? What can he even do? He wasn’t powering up and bodying opponents so we didn’t really pay attention to whatever was happening with him. This is some fucking ass pull.
They also can’t accept that the final battle isn’t a one vs one, that there’s actually a plan with many aspects and contingencies. That the characters are trying to be rational about this thing, they aren’t driven by their egos and desire for glory, well apart from two, and they just want to do everything they can to get rid of Sukuna and stop Kenjaku.
This is not acceptable. If it’s not hard hits and energy flashes but plans and strategy then it’s not a real shounen fight. Gojou vs Sukuna was kinda a fight like that, of course Sukuna was not doing it right because he was scheming too much. But it should’ve ended there, Gojou’s energy balls should’ve concluded the manga.
If you try to suggest to them that he’s just a different kind of character and JJK isn’t that kind of shounen and that it's actually okay for it to take a different route, the rage will spill. They will not accept that shounen can be many things but they will complain that all shounens are the same and predictable.
___
Condescension
Yuuji isn’t what they want him to be and that’s “objectively” bad writing. That’s it. They will actually list how Yuuji should’ve been written but more importantly how everything should’ve been written and generally Yuuji should’ve never been put forward as the main character because he really doesn’t make sense as one. Gege is just a bad writer and it’s all mid and doesn’t make sense.
What’s even the point? Is there even a story in JJK, what is it even about? The magic system surely doesn’t make any sense, who even understands that? Everyone who says they understand is lying.
Sure, there were some interesting parts in it, so people got hyped, like the Hidden Inventory arc and Shibuya but only until Gojou got sealed, everything after that is just boring and awful and did I mention bad writing?
And all those deaths of fandom sweethearts, pointless. Either they are just for shock value because there was nothing absolutely nothing in the writing that suggested that they might die, od Gege just being mean to the fandom and hating their own characters and Gege should honestly *insert violent ideation*. Or the deaths are too predictable, generally everything is so predictable in JJK, and stereotypical.
Why do people even care or like it, they are objectively wrong if they do. Because hello the writing is so fucking bad, people have no fucking taste honestly. Who even reads that shit anymore?
Why are those people still in the fandom? Fuck knows.. They will spam the tags though, incessantly. The world must know how much they are better than JJK, Gege and those losers who have anything positive to say about JJK.
___
Honestly there is no winning with any of these people. What they claim they want is not what they are ready to embrace or even tolerate. They can’t also accept that maybe JJK just isn’t for them. There must be something wrong with JJK and with Gege because their tastes are universal and objective.
__________________________________
Part 3 - JJK may be a shounen but Yuuji is a shoujo main character
I’ve written about it before (some of it is a bit outdated now due to what was revealed in the manga) but I will always stand by this. Because it really explains everything.
Yuuji isn’t a typical shounen protagonist but if you look at shoujo protagonists you’ll see his type of protagonist. He is of course a mix of both and in the recent chapters he’s leaning a little more shounen but not too much.
He’s not indulging Sukuna, look how little he even speaks in this fight. He’s not revelling in this fight like Gojou had because he’s not fighting for himself. The outcome, not the fight matters. He’s still not ego driven, still two of his win conditions apart from his fighting abilities are his personality and strength of convictions that so deeply unsettle and upset Sukuna.
Recently everyone in the story, apart from Chousou, Higuruma and Toudou puts Yuuji down, discredits all his accomplishments. He even is starting to believe it. Sukuna is continuing to take everyone away from him. And yet Yuuji is still fighting because this is not about his ego. This is about removing the threat that is Sukuna and hopefully saving Megumi. He really puts himself last and isn’t even given the space to feel bad. All of this will just be there to crush him later.
And the fandom just takes every single insult hurled at Yuuji by the other characters at face value, as if the jujutsu world hasn’t always been hostile to him, treated him as less than human. As if those characters were impartial and haven’t been showing their bias towards Yuuji. They don't pick up on the fact that the jujutsu world is rotten to its core and Gege has consistently used the story to question the values of that world.
So lastly the fandom can’t stomach that Yuuji isn’t 100% stereotypically masculine, that his arc isn’t an alpha male power fantasy. That he isn’t written to perfectly embody the conservative gender norms. This is what the weakness accusation is all about, even if the people hurling it would swear up and down that they aren’t misogynists. Because Yuuji isn’t only accused of losing but also of crying, of breaking down, of being scared. This slight proximity to what is considered stereotypically feminine is a vice. One that for many discredits him completely, makes him not worthy of being the main character.
And if you think that I’m reaching with this… It’s a pattern that repeats itself in the fandom. You will see criticism of the JJK girls for not being soft enough, girly enough. Any proximity for masculinity will be zeroed in on and criticised under the guise of “feminism” with the terfy sentiment that female characters can’t be girly anymore. But girly characters like Hana or Yorozu will be hated for their proximity to stereotypical femininity because that’s considered feeble and shallow and unworthy. And just look how the fandom reacted to Megumi having an ugly and hysterical mental breakdown. To him showing weakness and not manning up. To him showing his emotions in such a visceral way.
____
These are the three main reasons why I think Yuuji is so underrated and why so many people will go to great lengths to just shit on him.
#answering asks#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk manga#itadori yuuji#this fucking fandom hurt me today deeply on a personal level#so well no holds barred#jjk meta#my ramblings#fandom wank#but also i say nothing new here#it's just a compilation of my greatest hits
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Dead Future.
summary: in which you imagine a future alongside Eren or in which Eren knows he doesn't have a future to wait, but he allows himself to dream by his side.
content: angst/fluff, s4 time-skip, other characters mentioned, eren yeager x fem!reader
N/A; hey guys!! I've been posting one shots that are discards from an AOT fanfic focused on Eren since I joined the platform in 2021, I intend to release it by the end of the semester, but for now, I'm enjoying these discards as small one shots. hope you like it <3
You walk along the beach and feel the fine grains of sand enter your fingers, the sunset lights hit your skin as the darkness of the night threatens to break through. The tide of water is calm, serene, it gives you comfort; You thought it was incredible that no matter how many times you saw that immensity, you would always be impressed as if it were the first time.
You felt a light wind blowing, pressing the fabric of the dress you wore against your body. When you turn around, your boyfriend, Eren, is standing still, staring at the ocean horizon. That didn't give you a good feeling, now it was common that you often looked at him and your mind was far away, in a place very far from your reality.
"Eren." You call out to him, waking him from his trance. When he looks at you, you can't help but admire him. His hair was now growing, it reached close to his shoulders, he wasn't wearing the infamous Reconnaissance uniform, taking into account that Levi had given the squad a well-deserved break. His turquoise green eyes were much more attractive to look at than the immense blue of the sea in front of him. "Let's go"
You extended your hand to him, receiving Eren's fingers intertwined with yours in response. You walk silently, but for some reason, it disturbs you. It makes it feel like you're walking with a ghost. That the man you love and are by your side now, is not really there.
"Hey, Ren" You call him, making him look directly into your face. "Are you well?"
“I am,” He responds, squeezing his fingers into your hand, but the answer doesn’t seem convincing to you. "I'm fine. I'm always with you."
You showed a sweet smile, one that could calm his heart and mind. You kissed his cheek and started walking again, pulling him with you. "Are you learning these bad pick-up lines from Connie?"
"Now I'm offended. I'm just trying to be romantic." He laughs at your comment, wrapping your heart in cozy warmth. His laugh being a starting point so you could feel at home. "And also, I wouldn't use anything Connie told me. Last week, Jean tried to use it on Mikasa and was brutally ignored." It's your turn to laugh, imagining Mikasa in her own way, not knowing how to deal with the situation while Jean waited for an answer.
"Well, I'm sure she'll give in in the future. We'll be invited to their wedding." You say, fantasizing about a pleasant future. "We will, won't we?"
"Of course" You notice how Eren's voice changes every time you mention the future. His voice is low, melancholy, making it clear to you that there is something going on in his head about the future, and that unfortunately, you don't know how to get there.
You continue walking, watching the sun's rays say goodbye as they reflect on the sea waves. At one point, you and he sit on the sand to watch the last moments of the sun before the moon takes its place. Your head rests on his shoulder, while Eren's thumb caresses the back of your hand. You rest listening to the sound of the water lapping against the shore, just in each other's company.
“You know, I think I want something like that in the future” You imagine, bringing his gaze to you.
"Like this?"
"Live close to the beach." An idealized idea appears in your mind, waking up every morning and being able to see the blue immensity through your window, walking on the sand at the end of the day, and most importantly, having these visions every day next to the man you love. "If we get positive responses from the Azumabito, and we stop running the risk of the entire world attacking the island. I wanted to get a cabin near the beach. Doesn't that sound good?"
"Sounds fantastic." He responds, but surprisingly, this time you feel sincerity, his words don't carry a hidden doubt that usually manifests itself. "Our friends would love to visit us, but... I don't know if we can count on the Azumabito that much. Or on the possibility of them leaving us alone. We still have a long time to serve in the army."
"I do not see a problem." Your grip on his hand tightens, as you lift your head from your shoulder and look straight into his eyes. "The house by the sea is great, I'd love that. But I'll be fine wherever I am if I'm with you."
Eren seems to be trying to think of an answer, but nothing comes to mind. So his lips come to yours in a chaste, tender kiss, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up at how his mouth seems to have been made exactly to fit yours.
"I love you." He whispers as he breaks the kiss, resting his head against yours.
"I love you." You respond, making it clear that this was not a response, but a statement.
"In a while, we can try to see about the house. Maybe the Captain will get tired of us by then and we'll be left in the lurch." Eren makes you laugh, leaving a sweet taste of a future with him, one you wish you could experience.
"It will be great." You finish.
Maybe, deep down, you knew he was letting you dream, that there was no future, but in that moment, you allowed yourself to fall into innocence and revel in a distant dream.
#eren yeager x reader fluff#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren x reader#eren aot#attack on titan#shingeko no kyojin#eren needs a hug#light angst#angst#fluff#aot#snk
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