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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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Hi! It's an au twilight question.

What if Edward and Bella did the nasty in early New moon. Then the party happens and the Cullens leave. Bella discovers she's pregnant with Renesmee. What do you think what would happen?

A very interesting question, anon. One that will go very interesting places, I'm sure.

That said, as usual, because I'm a completionist, we have to go through the "why no canon?" routine. Bear with me, I simply must.

Why Didn't Edward and Bella Do the Nasty Pre-Breaking Dawn?

For all that Edward is, for all his... questionable morals and sexual fixations, he does have a moral code he strictly holds himself to.

Edward is adamantly against having sex with Bella in terror of the very real possibility that he will murder her in the act. He's very clear about this, he didn't think he could do it, at all, and only his sheer desperation that Bella never be turned, his desire to marry Bella, as well as Alice's thumbs up convinced him to do it.

If Bella was a reasonable person then she would have agreed as well. Sex with Edward, while she's human, is a bad idea. However, Bella never really seems to clue in on what vampires even are so I think the Man of Steel on Woman of Kleenex aspect is lost on her.

Had Alice not given the green light, I imagine Edward would have gone back to the drawing board and ended up either here or here. Bella turning is the worst possible outcome and Edward will risk almost anything, even Bella's death, to see it avoided.

But that doesn't mean it's an action he takes lightly.

He suggests pimping Bella out to Jake before he suggests sleeping with her himself. For Edward, this is a last resort.

More, Edward is a man of his time.

Edward was from an upper class family and, more to the point, still holds himself to the standards of the society he knew when human (much to Bella's amusement).

Edward wistfully talks about courting Bella, how he would have courted her had he been a true man in the time period he was familiar with, and why marriage to him is so very important.

That Edward doesn't seek out the approval of Charlie, Bella's father, is a hilarious aside to me. Edward's all about chivalry until all those old society standards get in his way.

What do you mean a gentleman doesn't sneak into a lady's apartments in the middle of the night to watch her slumber unawares?!

Regardless, marriage is extremely important to Edward, especially in the context of sex.

Edward will absolutely not have sex with a woman who is not first his wife. He also will not marry a girl that society defines as underage, he will wait until Bella's legal and probably until she finishes her primary schooling.

This means Edward was never likely to have sex with her before graduation and certainly not before her eighteenth birthday.

Which, at the earliest, puts her past the New Moon birthday bash.

Edward and Bella Do the Do Anyway

But let's pretend they do it anyway.

I'd say the most likely scenario is after the birthday disaster. This is it, Edward knows he is leaving Bella forever, if he is truly noble then he will never see her again.

Certainly, he will never interact with her nor hold her in his arms. To Edward, this is essentially his last true night on Earth.

So rather than pull a partial D.E.N.N.I.S. system, Edward pulls the full D.E.N.N.I.S. system, he initiates the "I" he was previously missing, "Inspire Hope". Or, in this case, get laid for the first and only time in his life.

He sneaks in through her window. They make beautiful, passionate, tepid love so Edward does not crush her in the act, and as she sleeps blissfully in the aftermath he sneaks back out the window to never be seen again.

(It takes Bella a week to admit that Edward just hit and run. The Cullens aren't coming back.)

However, because Edward didn't actually point blank tell her what was happening, rather than hit her New Moon stage of depression, Bella's instead in denial.

The Cullens are coming back. What, Carlisle has a new job? No, that can't be right, they're coming back. Alice would never leave her without a word. Edward would never leave her without a word.

Jessica pats Bella on the back consolingly and is secretly glad that it's not her. She might have been dumped by Edward Cullen, but at least he didn't humiliate her the way he did Bella Swan.

Leaving without a single word, yikes.

Two weeks go by then Bella gets the flu.

In a single day, she's unable to keep down anything. Huh, that's weird. Very quickly, Bella has her tampon epiphany. Bella is not a virgin, she had sex with Edward, she's late, and she appears to have a baby bump.

Bella is carrying Edward's child.

There is no question of aborting the child. This is Edward's child, the only piece she has left of him, even without Renesmee's gift it's ride or die. Bella is delivering this child even if it kills her.

However, she has some immediate issues.

First, she's visibly pregnant, it's been only two weeks. That's not supposed to happen. More, Charlie is bound to notice sooner rather than later, Bella would like to avoid that, the stigma of teen pregnancy, as well as the inhuman complications that are sure to come along.

Second, there's inhuman complications. Bella can't just go to an OBGYN, not even a town over. She's carrying something half human, a doctor will poke around and find that out, and then Bella's blowing the secret.

Bella knows vaguely of the Volturi at this point, but not the severity of the law, it's more that she promised Edward she would never tell a soul.

Plus, a human doctor wouldn't be able to help anyway.

That leaves vampires.

Bella tries to call/email the Cullens. However, thanks to Edward, all their numbers are disconnected and all their emails no longer exist. Her "Alice, help, I'm pregannant" messages are sent to a void.

(Alice, meanwhile, thinks she's finally successful in blocking visions of Bella. At least Edward will be off her back. Without the cliff diving and Jake, Alice does not assume Bella has died/committed suicide.)

A brief internet survey also yields Bella no results, but it does get her a lot of vampire porn. Thanks internet.

Bella... starts to get worried.

She's getting more and more pregnant in a matter of days, Charlie is starting to notice that she can't keep anything down, and the Cullens aren't taking her phone calls.

Then, Bella has it, she remembers that weird baroque painting Carlisle had of him and those Italian vampire dudes: the Volturi. Conveniently named after the city they live in, Volterra, Italy.

Bella debates her options.

Edward told her that these are the guys who make sure that humans who know the secret disappear. Well, Bella is a human who knows the secret, that's bad. Also bad is that they eat people, Bella is a person.

On the other hand, Edward implied these guys are civilized and friends of Carlisle. That's... good? Bella isn't sure she's on good terms with the Cullens, given the whole abrupt leaving thing, but maybe they don't have to know that.

Bella debates with herself, tries to look up the Denali, and only finds the National Park. She has no idea where these guys even live, or what they even look like besides "blonde hot vampire", and she's short on time. Plus, they are close with the Cullens, so the Cullens probably did tell them "Ew, Bella, No Gross, Do Not Want".

Because the Cullens all hate her now.

Bella has some money saved up, and this is probably a one way trip, and if she doesn't go then... well, it's not looking good. Bella musters up her courage, tells Charlie some outrageous fib to explain why she's disappearing off the face of the planet, and books a flight to Rome, then Pisa, then a bus ride to Volterra.

Bella subsists completely on blue gateorade, this doesn't go well, and she vomits blue in the parking lot.

Regardless, she makes it, huzzah she is in Volterra. It's sunny out and there are no vampires. Bella wanders around the city and looks for the most vampire building she can find.

Luckily, she happens to be right, and it's the very central castle. Well done, Bella.

Bella walks in and spots a vampire. She also spots a receptionist, Bella is very confused. Never the less, Bella says the magic words, "I'm a... friend of Carlisle Cullen?"

Even though Bella doesn't have Aro's name (or any of the other Volturi for that matter), Carlisle's name does the trick. Anyone who works for Aro knows that name.

Color Aro intrigued, he will meet this pregnant woman! (Caius, meanwhile, votes that they eat her immediately out of spite.)

Well, Aro touches her hand and lo and behold she's scarily gifted. And she knows Carlisle, what a great day to be Aro.

Aro explains that everything's totally fine with her knowing the secret, it just means they have to turn her eventually, after she gives birth of course.

Bella stares at him numbly and wonders why Edward made this such a big deal if it was that easy.

Aro insists Bella start from the beginning, as in the very beginning of her life. This is weird, but Bella complies.

An hour later they get to the interesting part: Bella meets Carlisle (and Edward Cullen, Aro guesses). Aro gets to hear the whole, sordid, ridiculous tale of Bella and Edward's romance including the part where he fucked her and ran off into the night.

Aro is stunned.

He first apologizes for the Cullens behavior, they should absolutely not have abandoned her, and not turning her was completely irresponsible (what the hell was Carlisle thinking?)

He then gives the bad news, he... has never heard of anything like this.

You see, normal vampires don't have sex with humans. It isn't done.

Also, there's this thing called Immortal Children (Edward tell you about that, no? Well, he probably thought it wasn't relevant). That thing your carrying might not be a child capable of growth but an insatiable monster.

Or it could be the alien from Aliens.

There's no way to tell, really.

BUT NO NEED TO WORRY, BELLA, THEY WILL FIGURE THIS OUT.

Aro promises Bella his protection and a period of observation for the child. Bella's not sure she likes that observation part, but this seems like a pretty sweet deal otherwise.

As for what to do, well, Aro has to call in the foremost vampire medical expert. Sorry, Bella, but there's only one man for the job.

Aro sends out Demetri to find Carlisle.

Demetri shows up on Carlisle's doorstep, "Carlisle, old friend, Aro has need of you. Your son knocked up a human girl."

Carlisle blinks, blinks again, then does a thousand yard stare. My God.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Edward is already on Victoria's tail. Carlisle tries to call him, to no avail, Edward isn't taking his phone calls.

Alice and Jasper are already on their trip to hunt down Alice's past. Plus, given the Volturi, they'd be unlikely to come anyway. Carlisle sends them a message.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett travel to Volterra to clean up Edward's mess.

And sure enough, there's Bella, very pregnant with a child that is very much not human. Carlisle dies inside, Rosalie's on a warpath that Edward would abandon his pregnant girlfriend to the point where the only place she could turn was human drinking vampires.

Rosalie takes it upon herself to leave Edward the world's angriest voice messages until he returns her phone calls.

Aro's delighted to see Carlisle again. Even if he does have a wife now. Also, Aro claims finders keepers for Bella, Carlisle's not happy about this and less happy that Aro points out that if Edward cared so much he wouldn't be absent right now, would he?

They figure out the blood drinking thing, Carlisle desperately raids a hospital to prevent Bella from being fed the leftovers of the Volturi victims. This likely doesn't work out for him.

At the last possible moment, Edward finally picks up his phone. He learns that all he's tried to accomplish failed spectacularly. Bella is pregnant with his demon child, is literally drinking blood, and is in Vampire HQ with the leader insisting she will be turned immediately after the C-section.

Edward races to Volterra and strides into the room demanding Bella be aborted and remain human.

Aro stares.

Carlisle awkwardly explains that Bella's too far along, it's too late now even if they wanted to, more she adamantly doesn't want to abort and never did.

As for Bella being human... Bella pipes in that she's cool on becoming the vampire part. Aro's a great guy. She then races to embrace Edward, he's come back, after all this time. And he's going to be a father, isn't that wonderful?

Edward loses his mind.

And because this is Edward, I have no idea what he'll do, only it'll be utter madness. This is my best guess.

To be a little more serious, he probably tries to abort the child anyway, he mercy kills Bella and the child, or Renesmee manages to get through to him.

Given canon, it's likely the latter. Bella is convinced that her and Edward's relationship is perfect.

Aro has no idea what to think of any of this.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #bella swan #edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #carlisle cullen #the volturi #aro #caius #demetri #rosalie hale #alice cullen #the cullens #the denali #meta #headcanon #opinion

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mageofseven · 4 years

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Part 3 with Beel and Belphie is ready!

Part 1 | Part 2

Beelzebub:

The big guy noticed the changes with his girlfriend before she even mentioned them; the sixth brother is pretty observant with those he cares about after all.

Whenever he discussed how worried he was about her, about her lethargy and dizzy spells, the woman would just smile and say she was fine, that it was just her body being off and human bodies are just weird like this at times.

Beel didn't know much about the human body so he chose to believe his Muffin on this, even if he was still worried.

As the months went on, MC started to gain weight. The demon noticed this, but it really didn't faze him at first; he didn't mind it if his girlfriend was a bit rounder in her torso.

What he did mind however was how self-conscious his girlfriend got about it. She had been eating a lot more recently and she couldn't really fight it, but she also hated every pound gained from it all.

Beel always told her how beautiful she was and how her weight never changed that to him.

However, she'd glance down at how her belly poked out now and looked to her boyfriend, who was so incredibly strong and was practically the living definition of fitness and was so good looking... and she couldn't help but fall even deeper into the slow burning feeling of loathing with of her own body.

One day, MC asked if she could go to the gym with him. The Avatar of Gluttony was immediately tense because she still wasn't feeling well, but he knew it would probably make her feel a bit better if she was exercising and actively working on what was bothering her

So he agreed, but the man couldn't bring himself to do his usual workout routine with her there. The big guy was just too worried about his Muffin.

At one point, the man just noticed that something seemed off about his Human.

He set down the weights and walked over to the treadmill she was on-- and got there just in time to catch her as she fainted.

Luckily, the woman woke up fairly quickly, but her boyfriend had enough; no more exercise for her, not until she got her dizziness under control.

For the next few days, the MC was extra depressed and just found herself in bed more, usually snuggled up with either Beel or Belphie.

It was one such day when the cramping started.

She had gotten to lay with Beel for awhile, but eventually he had to leave for the game with his teammates.

Usually, MC would go and watch him play, but since her cramps were so bad, she didn't really have this option.

She was cuddled up in bed with Belphie when the redhead gave her a kiss goodbye and told her and his twin that he'd come straight home, receiving a nod from his Muffin and a thumbs up from his twin.

The pain just got worse while he was gone though and things evolved to MC gripping onto the Avatar of Sloth and heavily sobbing into his chest.

The seventh brother couldn't move and get help; everytime he tried, the human would beg between sobs for him not to leave her. He couldn't call for help either because he realized that he left his phone up in the planetarium.

Belphie was stuck with the sobbing human for over three hours until Beel came home.

Eventually, MC could feel something lowering within her and the need to push was unbearable.

"B-Belphie, help me up!"

The man did as he was told and helped her off the bed.

Beely came into the room just in time to see his girlfriend squatting and pushing out the head while his twin held onto her to help keep her balanced.

Eyes wide, the demon ran to girlfriend. His brain wasn't fully registering what the heck was happening, but his immediate reaction was still to rush to her side and help her.

MC immediately grabbed onto her boyfriend.

"B-Beely--uhhh... i-it's coming out."

Still deeply confused and concerned, the man's gaze dropped down between her legs, now letting himself focus on the head between them.

MC... his Muffin was having his baby!

Okay action then thoughts. Right now, the man just had to be there for her.

"Belphie, go tell Lucifer. We need a doctor."

The man was really trying to keep calm for his Muffin.

Without really pausing to answer, his twin rushed out the door.

"It's okay, Muffin, I'm here."

The redhead held onto his girlfriend and encouraged her as she pushed.

When the baby was finally pushed out enough to be freed from it's mom, Beel already had his hands around it so it didn't fall to the floor.

The demon forgot to breathe for a minute as he stared down at his daughter. His daughter.

Smiling, Beel lifted his gaze back to his girlfriend, but found that the woman was still crying in pain.

"Muffin?"

"I-It still--ughhhh, I think there's another."

The man's eyes widen.

Beel noticed his girlfriend's legs shaking and knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself up.

He adjusted his hold on his little girl before guiding MC onto the bed to lay down. He stayed between her legs and continued to give her encouraging words.

Since their sister already stretched the way open for them, the second baby was crowning in very little time.

A few minutes later, MC birthed the second baby, another girl. Both girls had his wings, horns, even his hair and eye color.

The man held both girls in his arms, already overwhelmed with his love for them, before looking up at MC, who was regaining her breath.

Beel sat down next to her and kissed her cheek.

"Are you alright?"

His girlfriend nodded, gaze falling to their girls.

"Beely... we're parents now?"

Beel smiled and nodded.

"I..." The woman sighed. "How did this even happen?"

"I dunno... are you okay with this, Muffin?"

"...Are you?"

His smile grew.

"Yeah."

She gave her boyfriend a small smile.

"Then... I am too."

Beel leaned down and kissed her.

"Good. I love you... I love our girls." The demon smiled down at the twins in his arms before meeting MC's eyes again. "This is... a dream. All at once, I got everything I wanted in life. I'll make sure to give you and the girls everything I can."

The doctor finally came a few minutes later, obviously late. Still, he checked MC and the girls to make sure they were okay and before he even left, the rest of House of Lamentation knew that the two were now parents.

Belphegor:

It took Belphie a bit longer than his twin to realize something was wrong with MC.

Sleepy boy... well, has a sleepy mind.

Not to say that it took him long though; while Beel noticed the human feeling off in his scenario on the first day, it took his twin about three days.

Honestly, he wasn't really worried about how tired they got. Hell, that just meant more naps they could take together so the Avatar of Sloth was winning in that regard.

He didn't really care about the weight gain either. Yeah, he teased her about it a bit, but it was always followed by wrapping his arms around her waist and if his words actually hurt her, which sometimes they did, he'd sleepily kiss their neck, their cheek, their lips

"It was a joke, Butthead." He'd tell them. "If anything, you're even cuter with a belly."

And the boy thrived off the blush that came after.

What the boy didn't enjoy, however, was her dizzy spells. The woman would go pale and suddenly have to grab onto him. Sometimes, MC would even full on faint and he'd have to quickly catch her before she hit the ground.

The first time that happened, the two were on their way to lunch at RAD and suddenly his girlfriend stopped walking. He turned around to ask why she stopped just for the woman to fall forward and for him to have to scramble to catch her.

Luckily, the woman was only out for a minute and was confused when she woke up in her boyfriend's arms, laying on the hallway floor at RAD.

Belphie took her straight home after that, not even giving the human the option to stick around and finish the school day.

The demon didn't understand what was wrong with his Human and whenever he'd ask MC, the woman didn't seem too concerned. Lightly, yes, but she said it'd probably correct itself and human bodies are just weird for the sake of being weird sometimes.

The seventh brother wasn't sure that he believed it, but he also didn't have any other answer so he just chose to leave it at that.

Basically, it was months of Sleepy Boy pretending he didn't care, but secretly hovering over his girlfriend.

After nine months of this hovering, it finally ended.

The two were upstairs in the attic, napping.

MC had been having cramps all day and Belphie suggested just sleeping through them, saying that eventually they will just go away.

Technically, he was right, just not in a way he expected.

He woke up to MC heavily sobbing his name. The man jolted awake and found his girlfriend gripping his shirt and burying her face in his chest.

"What's wrong--"

That's when he noticed the bed was... wet? Why was it wet?

"B-Belphie, somethings--gaaahh." The woman was panting through the pain.

The demon threw the blanket off of her and saw that the bed was soaked, as was her leggings, but there was also a slight bulge.

He pulled them down and saw that she was crowning.

His eyes went wide. She's pregnant? How the hell is she pregnant?

He looked back up at MC, who was still crying from the contractions, and knew he had to handle this before anything else.

He got up from the bed and positioned himself between her legs.

"You gotta push." He told her. "It's not gonna end if you don't push, Butthead."

His voice was firm, but tinged with some sympathy.

The woman was in too much pain to argue.

It took twenty minutes, but the MC managed to push the baby out half way, only to be pulled out completely by her boyfriend.

The demon stared down at the baby, a boy with his tail, eyes, and hair, and didn't know how to feel. He had gotten so focused on helping MC that his emotions felt lightyears away.

The human cried out and his head snapped up to look see her still writhing in pain.

Was there another one? The man quickly found out that there was.

And so it all repeated.

Once the second one was born, a little girl with his horns and eyes, but MC's hair, Belphie stared down at the twins on the bed, crying at the top of their lungs.

The man was already so tired of hearing cries.

"B-Belphie..."

He looked up at MC, who had a panicked expression on her face.

Leaving the twins laying between her legs, the Avatar of Sloth went back to his side of the bed and pulled her into his arms.

Neither said a word for a while. The only sound in the room were their twins' cries.

"I didn't know..." MC mumbled.

Belphie pulled back to meet her eyes, just staring into them for a full minute.

"Promise me. Promise that it's true and you didn't know."

"I promise. I swear on everything I have with you that I had no idea."

He sighed.

"Okay." He leaned in and kissed her.

After a moment or two, he pulled away and looked down at the crying babies on the bed.

"So... what do you wanna do with them?"

"I..." The woman stared down at her babies. "C-Can you bring them to me?"

Her boyfriend nodded and scooped up the babies one at a time to bring into her arms.

The woman brought them to her chest, causing them to finally stop crying in favor of feeding from her.

Belphie watched this quietly, not really sure what else to do.

After about a minute or two, MC spoke up.

"Belphie... would you be mad at me... if I said I wanted to keep them?"

The woman knew her boyfriend wasn't a fan of kids, a topic they always clashed with a bit. MC didn't think she could survive losing her twins in anyway now that they're here, but she worried about what Belphie would think of this.

The man pursed his lips. He honestly never wanted kids before, never liked them. Still though... he felt odd. Different.

Maybe it was seeing MC hold his children so sweetly in this moment, but he wasn't as against this as he always imagined himself to be.

Was he at the beginning of developing paternal feelings or was he simply not strong enough to take away something that his girlfriend obviously wanted so much? The demon wasn't sure.

"No. I'm not mad." He shook his head. "I... damn, I don't understand how this is happening but... if you want this then I'm here for the long haul. I'll take care of them; I'll take care of you. We'll do this together."

Part 1 | Part 2

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me pregnant mc

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iamnightduchess · 3 years

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SnK 139 (A personal thought on Reiner & Mikasa's ending)

We have finally reached the end. For those who began this fandom since 2010, it's been 11 years of happiness, tears and heartbreak, on top of character discourse with our respective favorites. This manga is rich with amazing life values that requires more than just a quick zip through of every chapter. It requires a thorough, repeat reading. Hajime Isayama weaved his universe in a way that never cease to blow all of his readers' minds away but still touched our hearts in an emotional way.

(Special thanks to @pethellhounds for the key pointers for this post!)

No doubt, I love all of the characters, each of their flaws, strengths and growth but my two favorites have always been Mikasa and Reiner, individually.

Upon the first two reads, I was saddened, I was devastated and I allowed my emotions to filter the absolute value of the final chapter; in particularly to my most favorites. All thanks to the discourse we had in our RK discord, my brethren offered me a different perspective on how we could truly perceive ch.139 for what it truly is: a bittersweet farewell which only leads to new beginnings.

Reiner Braun

Armin was destined to save humanity, Eren confided on that himself. Even if it was Mikasa's personal choice on ch.123 that is the ultimatum that had saved humanity by eradicating the power of the Titans from the world for good. As referenced on this post, it has been Mikasa that was destined to free Ymir all along through her selflessness.

Upon first read, the following panel seemed to portray the remaining alliance members in a different light. Everyone looked amazing, happy as they exchanged banter just like how old friends with shared traumatizing experiences do. After all they're all celebrated world heroes - living with possibly an upgraded lifestyle, fame and wealth even within those 3 years. But upon several more reads and deeper observation, one could not entirely disregard the rather dark and gloomy atmosphere beyond the bright surface. In particular Jean and Reiner, who seemed to be a bit more noticeable.

Jean somehow is putting on a front as a skirt-chaser (having preference for younger girls) while Reiner seemed to be simping over his old crush (who's already married & has a child in Paradis).

The above panel seemed comical because the actions & lines seemed a bit "out of nowhere", but beyond the surface - everyone's hurting secretly from within, some are masking their pain, though some remained unaffected because they all shared a heavy burden of guilt towards Eren's death & Mikasa's withdrawal from the group to lay their friend in his final resting place all the way in Paradis. Jean and Reiner both are putting on a front.

Do remember that during the Marley arc, not even once was Reiner shown to reminisce about Historia very specifically. Not even in a fleeting thought, thus why it could also be deduced that she did not actually have a huge impact on his memory or his genuine affections beyond just a fleeting crush to hide his tormented mental state from within. How could someone who has been shown to have tremendous emotional growth and a consistent, albeit shaky psychological regulation during his primary arc was reduced to a typical simp archetype in the final chapter? This is not, a "Reiner can finally be his real self who's free of his burdens & he is someone who's enjoying his new life" moment.

The last time he portrayed this "simping" behavior? When he was 17 years old during the 104th's first SC excursion and when his psyche was almost teetering on its edges as his Warrior!alter is wrestling control against his soldier personality in Utgard Castle.

Reiner's simping (which was an intended joke) was also an indicator of a bleak truth: his DID regressed, from his regulated state and his psyche was completely torn apart from that day. In Marley, he had been extremely depressed but he was a loyal, strong and steadfast soldier who had only his duties in mind. To see him do a complete 360 & reverted to a creepy old behaviour, is truly saddening. He's been masking his pain with this front. Even Pieck could be seen sending him a silent, understanding look of concern for his letter-sniffing action.

In 139, despite having a new chance at life, having his mother's genuine love and acceptance & achieved his original dream in becoming a respected hero who is recorded in history, one could not entirely rule out the possibility that Reiner's DID has regressed to the point that either he reverted back to his soldier persona as a facąde or he'd might have developed a new alter altogether after having to experience Survivor's Guilt for the second turn. Yet this time, with no known time limit since the Curse of Ymir had been eradicated. DID is a lifelong condition. It does not go away, it cannot be healed even with modern medicine but yes, could be managed. That letter, the mentioning of Eren's name and their impending arrival on Paradis - the place he felt the happiest of his life - could be his trigger to put on that front. He, (along with the rest of the alliance on that ship) had to live with the fact that his and his family's new life and future had been at the expense of two people's livelihood; Eren & Mikasa. Eren sacrificed his life. Mikasa chose to bury Eren at his final resting place in Shinganshina and remain there to honor his memories on her own, without anyone by her side despite having fought together & almost on the verge of dying together.

(Thank you @lancerofdarkness for pointing this out!) We can see the banter between Reiner and Jean is very reminiscent of Reiner and Bertolt, where the latter cautioned the former on "not getting too carried away". Where Bertolt had a filtered approach, Jean had a more direct, head-on snipe. This dynamic had been initially observed much earlier in this post.

The alliance members could possibly have made a silent pact between them on not mentioning either Eren or Mikasa's name out of respect for that 3 years. Or if they, as well as the others, were not divulged of the real truth by Armin. With or without this knowledge, Eren's death and Mikasa's silent departure from the alliance do affect everyone. Some are more obvious than the others.

Once again, I feel compelled to share an unpopular perception that Reiner's simping is not his true self's behavior. It is a mask. A fake persona. It is a front to hide the real pain from within.

He cared about both Eren and Mikasa respectively, as much as the others do.

Mikasa Ackerman

Upon first reading, I was initially devastated for Mikasa's conclusion. It was her decision and selfless act that had saved all of humanity and won Ymir over, which completely destroys the Paths as well as removing the titan powers together with its curse. The woman who had been at the frontlines, placing her life at stake, almost dying first to protect the men in the alliance; she who had sacrificed everything ended up with nothing but only memories of the one who could never be and loneliness.

To throw salt into the wound, we saw Eren uttering in Paths on how he refused to accept the notion of Mikasa being with another man, he wanted her to only love him and have him in her heart even 10 years after his death. It was indeed a last spur of the moment declaration that ironically contradicted his plea in 138.

Their relationship was never meant to take off by riding into the sunset together, they are not destined to be with each other, even if their feelings are mutual. Despite my personal observation of their relationship as a form of enslavement in itself: Mikasa still sees it as her devotion & commitment to Eren. I have to respect her perspective on this.

Ymir mistaken Stockholm Syndrome as love, she perceives enslavement as love. Being used as a tool of war and breeding, surrendering all her will to her captor, yearning for his validation - she saw those as love. Now the glaring parallel between Ymir and Mikasa are truly obvious. Because of love, Ymir tethered herself to Paths or purgatory for 2,000 years and in exchange of Mikasa's decision & action, Mikasa remained tethered to her love for Eren & his memories for at least another 10 years if not for the rest of her life on earth. That is truly heartbreaking.

I was devastated. I personally believe she deserves better. She too deserves to have her happy end, to be loved and have a family of her own.

When Armin had dreams of seeing the world beyond the walls, Mikasa has always been a simple girl with simple dreams: i) to go back home within that forest in Shinganshina and ii) to be by Eren's side forever. Once we realised this, Mikasa actually had everything she ever desired after all. She's back home in Shinganshina, living in solitude and in peace with no burden of world peace, diplomatic affairs on her shoulder and has no need to put on a facąde. She's been grieving and she still cried for her yearning to see Eren's face again even after 3 years that she might not stop shedding tears in the next 7 years just like Eren wanted. That is how psychologically and emotionally affected she is with Eren's words, actions and death. She chose to remember Eren and keep her in her heart that it is almost seen as an imprisonment but she's also free from other wordly responsibilities unlike the rest of the alliance members.

Did I wish she would have a better ending than this? Absolutely. This young woman has never been on her own ever since she was born, it's heartbreaking to see her having to process her grief alone without even a single companion by her side. She lost all of her incredible physical strength and had to learn how to fortify her emotional strength through her grieving process. She has only learn on how to love and be loved by Eren, which has major missing components left to be desired. Mikasa deserves to be loved, to receive that affection openly in return from someone who would be ideal, respectful, trustworthy, expressive, equally devoted, the raindrop to her seed, the sun to her cold days and loving towards her and maybe one day, eventually would be able to grow a real family from that genuine love.

The last two bottom panel above we can actually observe the innocent kid!Mikasa just like Isayama promised. She is ready and curious to once again, learn more about the beautiful but cruel world. She is ready to leave the forest upon realizing that no matter where she goes, Eren will always be inside her heart.

She is at peace. Even if she looks way thinner, fragile that she should be and could be seen collapsing as she was hit by another wave of strong grief. But since the members of the alliance are coming to Paradis for a potential negotiation, it is been stated by Mikasa that they are also coming to see Eren's final resting place to pay their respects. She will be meeting her friends after 3 years for the first time and I could really hope that they can be the support that each other needed for true healing. I am holding on to the possibility of her being ready to move on and start living again after putting the course of her life on hold by mourning for Eren the moment she is reunited again with Armin, Annie, Reiner, Jean and Connie.

The bird flew over the ship carrying the alliance as it is heading towards Paradis before heading towards Mikasa's location, giving his answer to her "You're happy right?" question by wrapping that scarf around her neck for one last time. He wanted her to be free after 3 years of grief. He wanted her to move on when she meets their friends again because she does not deserve to be consumed in her grief not even another day. Not even for another 7 years. Not even for the rest of her life.

Anything that we envision happening after 139 is valid in this universe. I believe Mikasa will begin living her life to the fullest as the end of the series is also the beginning of her next journey. But this time, she will be doing it in the company of her loved ones. Together.

#snk spoilers #snk 139 #snk meta #snk thoughts #snk opinion #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #reiner braun #mikasa ackerman #snk manga

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Jedi Master Katelyn Kenobi of the Jedi Order; Jedi General of the Republic Clone Army. Jedi General of ARC Commander Arthur and the 82nd Attack Battalion. Jedi commander of the 82nd Attack Fleet and Admiral Melissa Porter. Daughter of Obi-Wan and Siri Kenobi; Twin Sister of Rhydon Kenobi, and Eldest Sister of Miranda Kenobi. Stepdaughter of Duchess Satine Kryze, Eldest Half-Sister of Elisa Kenobi and Anya Kryze. Wife of Commander Daniel Klerk; Mother of Arthur Kenobi, Sierra Kenobi, and Jack Kenobi. Former apprentice of Siri Kenobi. Master of Sierra Kenobi.

Katelyn Kenobi is the daughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Siri Tachi, and the twin sister of Rhydon Kenobi; though she was born first by six minutes. The two twins were able to be born on their fathers birth planet of Stewjon, and immediately showed that they were Force-sensitive, encouraging their parents to bring them back to Coruscant to be trained in the ways of the Jedi Order. It would be later on in her life, that it was discovered that she had been born with a bipolar disorder, though her family supported her. Throughout her childhood, Katelyn exhibited moments of heightened excitement, but also depression, having trouble sleeping, often high levels of anger that made her family life difficult, all of which were signs of bipolar disorder (all of which Rhydon stood by her side through, forming a strong bond between the two siblings). Partly due to their unique birth, and their status as twins, Katelyn and Rhydon had a unique connection and bond with each other and the Force, proving to be more powerful than any other Jedi at their age. Like all other Jedi and their parents, Katelyn and her twin brother began their training as Jedi Younglings under Jedi Master Yoda’s supervision and tutelage. Once Katelyn was nine years old, she was chosen as her mother Siri’s Jedi apprentice, where Rhydon was chosen by their father Obi-Wan’s.

Katelyn’s first mission as a Jedi Padawan under her mother’s was to go to the planet Mandalore, to transport humanitarian supplies to the people of Mandalore. As Katelyn and Siri delivered the supplies they were requested by Duchess Satine Kryze, who wanted their help in dealing with some Death Watch activity. Katelyn and her mother teamed up with several Mandalorian warriors loyal to Satine and Mandalore, and began investigating the Death Watch activity. It would be here where the first signs of her bipolar disorder would begin to show, as she often showed moments of excitement, but also had moments of depression that her mother couldn't understand why. Fortunately it would be with the help of Duchess Satine's personal doctor, that Katelyn was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, revealing why she had mood swings the way she had been, throughout her life.

During this time, Katelyn and her mother would meet Jango Fett, a Mandalorian bounty hunter who was an ally of the Jedi Order, and was secretly hired by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas to be the genetic template of a clone army. Katelyn would also meet a young female Mandalorian warrior, named Zarina who came along to help them fight Death Watch. Zarina explained that she was the former daughter of the Death Watch leader, Pre Vizsla, but didn’t believe in his ideals, and ran away from her home. Katelyn further learned from her observations, that the other Mandalorian warriors that were with them seemed to ostracized Zarina, due to the fact that she was related to the Death Watch leader. Fortunately for the girl, Jango was the only one to show the girl respect and inclusion, along with Katelyn herself.

Katelyn’s mother Siri listened well to Zarina as the girl explained the best way to defeat the Death Watch, and she followed the girls advice to the letter. Zarina’s plan worked perfectly, with Katelyn, Siri, and Jango witnessing Zarina successfully defeating her former father Pre Vizsla in single combat. Afterwards, the group returned to the Mandalorian capital city of Sundari, and reported what happened to Duchess Satine. Katelyn watched proudly as her mother even included Zarina, and explained how the young girl was able to defeat and shame the Death Watch leader, something that had finally earned the girl respect from the other Mandalorian warriors. As Katelyn and Siri began to get ready to leave Mandalore back to Coruscant, they would be able to witness Zarina be adopted by Jango Fett and his wife Zara. They were even allowed to watch as the young Mandalorian girl received the highest symbol of honor, as well as the most difficult to earn, among the Mandalorians: the famous Jaig Eyes.

Upon their return to Coruscant, Katelyn and her mother would be greeted by Sheev Palpatine, the former senator from Siri’s home planet of Naboo, and now the new Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic. Prior to the meeting, Katelyn shared her twin brother’s mistrust for Palpatine, and didn’t hold much credence to the man, and now after meeting him, and seeing the uncomfortable and perverted look in his eyes when he looked at her, Katelyn immediately despised the man further than she had before. As Katelyn’s mother met with Yoda and Mace Windu, she soon learned about what was going on in regards to the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo, and how Palpatine was elected as the new chancellor, after the previous Chancellor Valorum was impeached by the Republic Senate, after a unanimous vote of no confidence in the man.

Katelyn traveled to Naboo with her mother, the Jedi Council, and the new chancellor, who was constantly throwing inappropriate glances towards her, inadvertently causing Siri’s distrust in him to grow stronger. Upon arriving at Naboo, Katelyn watched as her mother quickly embraced Obi-Wan, and fussed over Rhydon, much to her amusement, though she too also embraced her father and twin brother, glad that they safe and alive. She would then learn of how her father and Qui-Gon battled a Zabrak Sith Lord named Darth Maul, her brother aiding Queen Amidala to take back her planet, and how Anakin Skywalker, a young boy from the desert planet Tatooine, destroyed the Trade Federation droid control ship. Katelyn would also learn that Queen Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker were two of the four chosen ones; the four individuals who would one day bring balance to the Force, alongside with her and her twin brother Rhydon. Afterwards, a special ceremony to celebrate the Trade Federation’s defeat, and the peaceful union between the people of Naboo and Gungans.

Katelyn would then accept her new mission with her mother, which was to remain on Naboo to officially serve as Queen Amidala’s protectors and advisers, alongside with her father and brother. Secretly however, she was to train alongside with Padmé Amidala, as she was secretly a Jedi, and was believed to be one of the Chosen Four. During her training on Naboo, her family was surprisingly summoned by the king of the planet Stewjon; Katelyn’s home-planet, along with her twin brother Rhydon, and her father Obi-Wan Kenobi. Upon arriving at the planet Stewjon, Katelyn would learn that the king of Stewjon was in fact her grandfather: King Orion Kenobi. This in turn led her to meet her grandmother Queen Marion Kenobi, uncle Prince Owen Kenobi, and aunt Princess Helena Kenobi.

After meeting her family, Katelyn and Rhydon happily watched as their grandfather married their parents. Katelyn and Rhydon would even learn the history of their family, and how they were beloved by the people of Stewjon. The only member of their family that they didn’t like was their great Uncle Reuben Kenobi, who constantly belittled the Jedi, and showed nothing but disrespect and hatred to Katelyn and her family. Eventually they would return to Naboo, and resume their duties as Padmé’s protectors and advisors. Katelyn even found herself being judged harshly by her great uncle, when it was revealed that she had bipolar disorder, and Reuben looked at her as though she was infected with a disease, but was openly accepted by her grandparents and other family members.

Soon, Padmé’s tenure as queen ended, but tensions in the Galaxy had arisen when several planets and star systems defected from the Galactic Republic, and joined a movement known as the Confederacy of Independent Systems, otherwise known as the Separatist Alliance. The tensions were so bad, that there was a potential threat of war between the two government factions, and the Jedi and former queen learnt that the Republic Senate, now under the leadership of Sheev Palpatine as Supreme Chancellor, was voting for the creation of an army. Katelyn and Rhydon, while apprehensive about the idea of a war, were willing to accept that there would be a need for the Jedi to be involved. Katelyn herself felt that the Jedi, as protectors of the Galactic Republic, should do whatever it took to defend the Republic; even if it meant leading an army into battle.

Katelyn would witness Padmé take on the mantel of senator for Naboo, with Jar-Jar officially serving as the Gungan representative, while also secretly serving as Padmé’s protector in the Senate. Katelyn, her father, mother, and brother began to escort the newly nominated Naboo senator back to Coruscant, but when they arrived, an explosive was set off, destroying the ship they used to transport Senator Amidala. Fortunately, the Senator wasn’t really on the ship, but instead a decoy.

Afterwards, Katelyn and her family were given new assignments: with the war soon coming her father Obi-Wan, along with her brother Rhydon, had been tasked with finding out who attempted to assassinate Padmé, while Katelyn and her mother would go to Mandalore, to ensure that the alliance between the Jedi and the Mandalorians would remain strong. Siri and Katelyn accepted their duties, and immediately began making preparations for their voyage to Mandalore. As they made ready to leave, they learnt that a Duros bounty hunter named Cad Bane attempted to assassinate Padmé, but was stopped by Qui-Gon and his apprentice, Anakin Skywalker. They also learned that Obi-Wan and Rhydon interrogated the bounty hunter, and learnt that he was hired by a pair of Mandalorian warriors named the Borkus brothers.

Katelyn listened as her mother promised her father that they would ask Duchess Satine if she had heard of the Borkus brothers before, while he and Rhydon ventured to Kamino. Obi-Wan explained that there were two reasons for this: one was to speak with Jango Fett, and inquire if he had heard anything about the Borkus brothers, and the second was to learn how the clone army was progressing. Katelyn watched as Siri understood what her father was telling them, but cautioned her father to be careful, and gently kissed him before departing for Mandalore.

Upon arriving at Mandalore, Katelyn and her mother stood before Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore, and the two Jedi were greeted by the surrounding Mandalorian warriors with respect. After what Katelyn and Siri did during the Death Watch situation, it had earned the Kenobi women, and the entire Kenobi Family great respect amongst the Mandalorians. Katelyn watched and listened as her mother immediately began speaking with the Duchess, informing her of what was happening in the Galaxy and the rising tensions between the Galactic Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Katelyn could tell that Satine understood that what Siri was asking her was essentially Mandalore’s loyalty not only to the Republic, but also to the Jedi. Duchess Satine assured Katelyn's mother that while Mandalore would remain neutral in the coming war, the Mandalorian people would be loyal to the Jedi; and further assured Siri that if the Jedi ever needed the aid of the Mandalorians, the warriors of Mandalore would respond immediately.

Katelyn and her mother felt assured by Satine, and proceeded to ask her about the Borkus brothers, and if she had heard about them. To Katelyn’s interest, Duchess Satine’s body stiffened, and her facial muscles tightened, as though hearing the name of Borkus, was a bad thing. Interestingly, the same response was seen by the Mandalorian warriors who made up the Duchesses Royal Guard; some of them, including Duchess Satine’s sister Bo Katan Kryze who served as the captain of the Royal Guard, even clenched their fists. Satine explained that the Borkus brothers were Mandalorian warriors who were part of the Death Watch, a fact that was confirmed by Obi-Wan based on what he had learned from Zarina Fett, Jango Fett’s adopted daughter. As they finished up with their assignment on Mandalore, Katelyn watched as her mother Siri contacted Master Yoda to inform him of the Mandalorians answer, which not only pleased the old green master, but satisfied him as well.

After receiving her mother's report, Yoda then ordered Katelyn and Siri to travel to Stewjon, and see how the Stewjoni cloners were coming along in regards to the task that he hired them for. Curious as to what Yoda was doing on Stewjon, Katelyn smiled when Siri accepted her new task, and began to make preparations to leave Mandalore. As they were preparing to leave, Duchess Satine approached her mother Siri, and asked to speak with her before she left. Katelyn's mother agreed, and remained on the ship, as Siri and Satine walked along the landing platform.

Unaware of what her mother and Satine were talking about, Katelyn worked on preparing for takeoff, as she waited for her mother to finish talking with Satine. Finally Katelyn found herself rejoined by Siri, and fired up the ship to takeoff, and their ship left the planet atmosphere, and jumped into hyperspace for Stewjon. During their travel to her home planet, Katelyn asked her mother what she spoke about with Satine. She would find herself shocked when Siri revealed that her father Obi-Wan had been in love with the Mandalorian Duchess, before he reunited with her mother, and that Duchess Satine was still in love with her father. Hearing that another woman held her father’s heart at one point, and still had a place for him in hers, was certainly something that surprised Katelyn; she couldn’t picture her father with another woman, but she suspected her mother was up to something that would allow her father to be with Satine at the same time.

Eventually Katelyn and her mother arrived at Stewjon, and upon their landing, they were greeted by Queen Marion. Katelyn happily greeted her grandmother, and was inquired as to what they were doing on Stewjon. She listened as her mother explained that she and Katelyn were sent to Stewjon by Master Yoda, to check on the Stewjoni cloners. To Katelyn’s interest, Marion immediately understood, and began leading them to the secret Stewjoni cloning facility.

Upon arriving at the facility, Katelyn and Siri were met by a sight: female clone troopers of Jango Fett’s wife: Zara. Katelyn and Siri spoke with one of the Stewjoni cloners, and was informed that they used many of the Kaminoan cloners methods of making their clones, such as growth acceleration. However unlike the Kaminoans, the Stewjoni cloners had a way to deactivate the growth acceleration, and then initiated a special feature that they called the growth deceleration; meaning that the growth of the clones would be slowed down, making the clones lifespan slightly longer than the normal human as it is essentially slowed down.

As Katelyn continued to tour the facility, she noticed that her was being contacted by her father and twin brother from the planet Geonosis. After returning to their ship, Katelyn and Siri opened the communication, and learned that Obi-Wan was also trying to contact Qui-Gon, Anakin Skywalker, and Padmé Amidala who were on Tatooine. Obi-Wan explained that he needed a communication connection to the Jedi Council and Chancellor Palpatine on Coruscant, and the two separate groups immediately set to it. After doing so, Obi-Wan and Rhydon reported that they had found a massive droid army being built, and that Count Dooku was preparing to use it to attack the Republic. Then to the horror of Katelyn and her mother, Obi-Wan and Rhydon were attacked by Geonosian warriors and battle droids, and taken prisoner.

Katelyn and her mother immediately set to leave Stewjon for Geonosis to rescue the rest of their family, and also to contact their Mandalorian allies for their help. Upon arriving at Geonosis, Katelyn and Siri rendezvous with a Jedi task force led by Jedi Master Mace Windu, and proceeded to the planet surface; as well as learning that Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, and Jango and Zarina Fett were also captured. They then infiltrated the Geonosian Arena of Justice, coming across the confiscated lightsabers of their Jedi companions, and the blasters of Jango and Zarina. Katelyn and Siri took the lightsabers, while elected to take the blasters, in order to return them to their rightful owners. Afterwards, they continued to move into their positions, only to be met with quite a sight.

The arena was packed with Geonosians, all focusing on the center of the arena, where Obi-Wan, Rhydon, and the others were chained to several pillars, and were being approached by seven monstrous beasts: a Nexu, Reek, Acklay, Gundark, Krayt Dragon, Anooba, and a Rancor. Fortunately each of the prisoners managed to escape from their chains, but they still had to contend with a specific beast: Obi-Wan was faced with the Ackley, Anakin the Reek, Padmé the Nexu, Qui-Gon the Gundark, Jango the Krayt Dragon, Zarina the Anooba, and Rhydon ended up facing the Rancor. Katelyn and her mother watched with baited breath as Jango and Zarina had managed to take down the Krayt and Anooba, while Padmé, with help from Anakin who had managed to get control of the Reek, took out the Nexu. But Obi-Wan was struggling to stay ahead of the Ackley, while Qui-Gon was evading the Gundark, and Rhydon was just barely staying below the Rancor.

Fortunately for them, Windu gave the signal for the Jedi to reveal themselves, and Katelyn and Siri activated their respective lightsabers: Katelyn’s dual blue and green lightsabers alongside her mother’s purple bladed lightsaber joining with the multitude of lightsabers. Unfortunately for the Jedi, this didn’t stop a battalion of battle droids from rushing out into the arena, forcing them to go on the defensive. Despite the setback, Katelyn and her mother returned the recovered lightsabers to their respective owners, as Windu did with Jango and Zarina’s blasters. As her mother cut down multiple droids, carefully watching as Obi-Wan was also able to take down the Ackley, Katelyn stood alongside Rhydon, helping him in taking down the Rancor.

Unfortunately for the Jedi and two Mandalorians, they would eventually be surrounded by the army of droids, but stood their ground. Fortunately, they would all be saved when Master Yoda and Jar Jar Binks arrived with clone troopers aboard gunships, and many Mandalorian warriors, all of them arriving to aid and rescue the remaining survivors. Once Yoda, Jar Jar, the clones, and the Mandalorians arrived, the battle began to resume, with the Jedi boarding the gunships, while the clones and Mandalorians provided cover fire; though in the confusion of the evacuation, Katelyn observed that her twin brother Rhydon was separated from their father, but joined up with Twi’lek Jedi Knight Aayla Secura. As they escaped the arena, the cease fire would only last until they reached a large plain where the Droid Army engaged the Clone Army.

It would be during this time that Katelyn and her mother were separated from Obi-Wan again, along with Rhydon who ended up fighting besides the Twi’lek Jedi Knight Aayla Secura. Throughout the battle, Katelyn and Siri lead clones into the battle against the droid army, but she maintained focus on ensuring that many clones survived, all while maintaining a seriously calm demeanor as she swung and twirled her two lightsabers. When she saw Master Yoda fly overhead to where Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin, and Padmé followed Dooku, Katelyn heard her mother immediately called for a gunship, and she and Siri followed after Yoda with a contingent of clones, including Jango and Zarina who flew into the gunship. Along the way, they picked up Rhydon who was fighting the battle droids alongside Aayla Secura, as well as Padmé, Jar Jar Binks, and a single clone trooper who explained that the three of them had fallen out of the gunship that carried Katelyn’s father and the other two Jedi.

Upon arriving at Dooku’s personal landing platform, the fallen Jedi Master turned Sith Lord’s sailor barge took off, and Katelyn listened to her mother quickly order the clones to open fire, only for the shuttle-sized ship to fly out of range. Afterwards, Katelyn and her group ran into the hangar, quickly running over to her father, to help Obi-Wan up. After the battle, Katelyn would return to Coruscant, and witness the marriage of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala, as well as her brother Rhydon and Jango’s daughter Zarina.

Obi-Wan and Jango constantly joked that Rhydon and Zarina’s newfound relationship was love at first sight, Siri, to her own personal chagrin, had to agree, whereas Katelyn found herself amused that her twin brother was marrying a girl who had become a good friend of hers. Katelyn was more than happy to welcome and accept Zarina as her sister-in-law, and she supported her brother getting married at his young age, given the hard times they found themselves in now. She easily saw that Rhydon deeply cared for Zarina, and she could sense through the Force that Rhydon and Zarina were meant to be with each other. For these reasons, Katelyn happily accept her brothers happiness, and welcome her new sister-in-law.

After the Battle of Geonosis, the Clone War began, and Katelyn became a Jedi Commander, and her mother was given command of her own clone battalion: the 414th Legion. Katelyn, along with Siri and her mother’s new clone commander: CC-414, Clone Commander Osiris, took the 414th and turned it into one of the Republics top clone units. As time went by, Katelyn began to wear the amethyst purple colors of the 414th Legion, to have a close connection with the clones that were under her and his mother’s command, and it proved to be successful.

Along with the 414th Attack Battalion, Katelyn’s mother was also given her own fleet and flagship: the 414th Fleet, with the Venator class cruiser Frost. With her new flagship, Siri also received a new fleet admiral named Admiral Cadmus Ordo from Mandalore. Like her mother, Katelyn appreciated and respected Admiral Ordo, due to the fact that he was a man who was not afraid to go head to head in a battle, and still be concerned about the safety of those under his command. This respect was returned by Ordo, as Katelyn and Siri both often asked him for advice in regards to space combat strategies. With Admiral Ordo, was a female officer named Captain Melissa Porter and a male officer Lieutenant Daniel Klerk, who Katelyn quickly became close friends with and formed romantic feelings for, respectively. When Katelyn became a Jedi Knight, and was given command of the 82nd Attack Fleet, her mother gave her permission to take Captain Porter as her own fleet admiral, and Lieutenant Klerk as a naval second-in-command (while also pursuing romantic relationship with him).

Katelyn worked closely with her mother and Commander Osiris, but there were a few times that Katelyn worked with other Jedi on separate missions. One such mission was with Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi to Hypori, a mission that nearly took Katelyn’s life, as well as her twin brother Rhydon. Katelyn, alongside Rhydon, went to Hypori to destroy a droid factory on the planet with Jedi Knights Aayla Secura and Tarr Seirr, Jedi Masters Ki-Adi Mundi, Shaak Ti, K’Kruhk, and Daakman Barrek, and Jedi Padawan Sha'a Gi, or as Katelyn and Rhydon liked to call him, Shaggy. Upon arriving at the planet however, their ship was caught in an orbital minefield, and were forced to crash land on the planet surface. In the duration of the crash, each Jedi were separated, but would regroup with each other, with the unfortunate exception of Master Barrek, as he was slain by the Separatist’s new general, a Sith Stalker named Grievous. Katelyn and the other Jedi were then attacked by the Sith Stalker, with Rhydon barely saving Sha’a Gi from getting crushed to death.

As the lightsaber battle began, Katelyn watched as Sha’a Gi was knocked out, and Aayla Secura was thrown up into the roof of the wrecked ship, but witnessed Tarr Seirr being killed, K'Kruhk slashed by Grievous. Katelyn would then witness Ki-Adi Mundi kicked down, and Shaak Ti get thrown into a wall, leaving her and her twin brother alone to fight the Sith Stalker. As Katelyn and Rhydon continued to duel with Grievous, Rhydon was knocked down and pinned by a piece of debris, forcing Katelyn to battle Grievous alone.

Katelyn matched Grievous' strikes blow for blow, she quickly proved herself a formidable opponent for the Sith Stalker, but it would still not be enough to keep herself from getting injured. Just as her twin brother got free from the rubble he was under, Grievous used the Force to bash Katelyn into a crumbled wall. As a result, Katelyn achieved a gash on the left side of her temple, and slumped to the ground, instantly feeling the affects of a concussion. As Grievous was about to use his sabers to kill Katelyn, she watched as Rhydon quickly used the Force to pull his lightsaber to him, along with one of her lightsaber, which turned out to be the red bladed lightsaber which she had taken from a Dark Jedi, and began clashing blades with Grievous. Though Rhydon was not as well trained in dual wielding lightsaber combat as Katelyn was, he was determined to protect his sister. Unfortunately for Rhydon, his inexperience of fighting with two sabers turned against him, as Grievous locked his blue bladed lightsaber, while destroying Katelyn's red lightsaber, and then cut off Rhydon's right arm at the elbow, before going further to slash his lightsaber across Rhydon's face.

Disoriented from losing his arm, and being slashed across his face, Katelyn watched as Rhydon was kicked down by Grievous, and fell near her, his left hand close enough for her to grip. Although she was struggling to remain conscious, Katelyn reached out and took hold of her twin's left hand, and held on as Rhydon lost consciousness. She then looked up, as Grievous towered over them, and prepared to strike down and kill them, but fortunately their lives would be saved by Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi, who intercepted Grievous' killing blow, and pushed him back away from Katelyn and Rhydon long enough for ARC Captain Fordo and the Muunilinst Ten to evacuate them, along with Shaak Ti, Aayla Secura, Sha'a Gi, and K'Kruhk, all of whom were still alive.

Katelyn would be transferred to a medical frigate named Bright Hope, where she would be treated for her concussion, and her brother placed into a Bacta Tank for healing. Because she received relatively minor injuries in their ordeals on Hypori, Katelyn was released pretty quickly, but she chose to stay on Bright Hope, refusing to leave her twin brother alone. One part of her reasons for staying with her twin, other than loyalty towards her family and close bond with her brother, also has to do with her bipolar disorder, as she wondered if her brother would blame her for him losing his arm. As she waited for Rhydon to recover from their ordeal, Katelyn worked on building a new second lightsaber, to replace the one destroyed by Grievous. She knew she would have to return to the secret planet Ilum, to find a new Kyber Crystal for the lightsaber. Eventually Rhydon would finally awaken in the Bacta Tank, and Katelyn made sure that she was the one to calm him down, so that the medical staff could help him. As she continued to help her brother recover, Katelyn's bipolar disorder caused her to discuss her difficulty with Rhydon, who to her personal disbelief, held no malice nor did he blame her for what happened to him, and held her in a hug to prove it.

After Rhydon was discharged and allowed to return to the field, Katelyn requested to leave for Ilum, and get a new Kyber crystal, and was allowed to do so. Dressed in cold gear, Katelyn entered the caves of Ilum, to find her crystal, and soon found it. After putting the crystal inside her second lightsaber, the blade that came out took on a purple hue, in which she often paired with her blue lightsaber; in many ways she often compared the blue and purple blades to her family, since her father and brother had blue lightsabers, and her mother had a purple one.

Eventually, after her father and mother were accepted onto the Jedi Council, Katelyn and her twin brother Rhydon were allowed to take the Jedi Trials, which they both had passed with flying colors. After becoming a Jedi Knight, Katelyn was allowed to take command of the 82nd Attack Battalion, which was a newly formed battalion, and selected ARC-82 "Arthur", who was also at Hypori as a part of Muunilinst Ten that rescued her, Rhydon (who took command of the 101st Legion), and the rest of the Jedi survivors, as her battalion commander; this would come to be doubly beneficial as Arthur became a sort of confidant for her, and he often consoled her whenever her bipolar disorder started acting up. Together, Katelyn and Arthur made the 82nd Attack Battalion into a formidable fighting force, alongside Arthur's two remaining batch mates Merlin and Lancelot; Katelyn also took the liberty with awarding Arthur with the prestigious Jaig Eyes, a revered award among the clones as it was seen ass mark for exceptionable honor, just as Rhydon awarded his own legion commander, ARC-101 "Zeus" with the same Jaig Eyes. Katelyn also took command of the 82nd Attack Fleet, and requested for Captain Melissa Porter be promoted to Fleet Admiral under her command, and Lieutenant Daniel Klerk to be promoted to Commander.

Katelyn would lead the 82nd Attack Battalion in many campaigns alongside Arthur, Merlin, and Lancelot throughout the Clone Wars, often teaming up with her mother's 414th Legion, her father's 212th Attack Battalion, the 501st Legion under Anakin Skywalker, or even Qui-Gon and the 12th Legion, but for the most part Katelyn's battalion would fight alongside her brother Rhydon and the 101st Legion. As the Clone Wars progressed, Katelyn and Rhydon grew stronger in the Force as they fought side by side, both of them being recognized as heroes of the Republic, and gained reputations and nicknames for their own. Because of her ability to bring calmness and mediate arguments between two individuals, Katelyn became known as the Peacekeeper, while her brother became known as the Protector, because of his innate desire to protect his own troops and innocent civilians in any battle.

Katelyn would soon receive word that her mother Siri and Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi had convinced the Jedi Council to agree in allowing the Jedi to practice polygamy, the practice of multiple marriages, in which a member of the Jedi Order could be married to at least three partners. This essentially allowed jedi to be married to any partner of their choosing, and Katelyn, while she respected her mother and her achievements, only had romantic feelings for Daniel Klerk. Unfortunately, she had to keep her feelings for Daniel to herself, as Palpatine was spearheading smear campaigns against any female Jedi falling in love with either their clones or military officers, but she opted to keep a secret relationship with Daniel. Their relationship was known only a trusted few; such as her twin brother Rhydon who supported her relationship, her mother and father, and ARC Commander Arthur.

On many occasions throughout the Clone Wars, Katelyn would encounter General Grievous, and remembering her first encounter on Hypori, Katelyn fought the Sith Stalker with wariness, learning the best way to fight the menace of the Jedi Order. on several occasions, Katelyn would encounter Darth Maul, Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress, and her father's arch nemesis: Darth Xanatos, a fallen Jedi that had at one point been apprenticed to Qui-Gon Jinn. Because Xanatos wanted to break Obi-Wan's spirit, he often tried to kill Katelyn and Rhydon, but liker her twin, Katelyn was always careful, and came out on top over Xanatos.

As the Clone Wars drew near to a close, Katelyn was preparing to go to Mandalore, which had been taken over by Darth Maul and the rogue Mandalorian warriors named Death Watch who had become loyal to him, alongside her father, brother, and Anakin Skywalker when word of a Separatist attack on Coruscant was attempted, where Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and Senator Padmé Amidala were captured, and Katelyn, Rhydon, Obi-Wan, and Anakin had to go in and rescue them, while Rhydon and Anakin’s respective padawans Zayla Secura and Ahsoka Tano took a respective half of the 101st Legion and 501st Legion to Mandalore. The space battle above the Republic capital planet was hectic, and Katelyn couldn't help but watch as her father Obi-Wan nearly lost his life to buzz droids at one point, had he not been rescued by Qui-Gon Jinn, who flying with his clone fighter group, Green Squadron. Upon successfully landing in the main hangar of General Grievous’ command ship, the Invisible Hand, the four Jedi realized that Palpatine and Padme were placed in two different parts of the warship. Padme was put up in the top of the ships observation tower, while Palpatine was in an observation room, near the ships bridge at the bow section. Choosing to split up, Katelyn and Rhydon went to get Padmé, while Obi-Wan and Anakin both ventured to the Chancellor’s location.

Fighting any droids they encountered, Katelyn and Rhydon reached the Invisible Hand's observation deck, Katelyn and Rhydon approached Padme as she was held in an observation chair, only to end up finding Dooku waiting for them. Katelyn and Rhydon reluctantly engaged the Count, not because of his formidable Form II Makashi lightsaber combat style, but because they both knew that he didn't really want to fight them, or any Jedi. They sensed, through their strong connection in the Force, that Dooku had had enough with fighting for the Dark Side and wanted to seek redemption, but was hesitant to do so. In the end, Katelyn and Rhydon overpowered Count Dooku, and offered him a chance to seek redemption; when Dooku still hesitated, they managed to contact Master Yoda, who reinforced their offer of redemption to Dooku.

To Katelyn and Rhydon’s great relief, Dooku accepted their offer of redemption, and helped release Padme. After that, the group of four began to make their way back to the hangar, where they rendezvoused with with Katelyn and Rhydon’s respective astromech droids: R3-D1 or Red as Katelyn named him, and B1-U3 or Blue as she was called. They learned from the droids that Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Chancellor Palpatine were captured, along with Obi-Wan and Anakin’s droids R4-P17 and R2-D2, and were taken to the bridge. Deciding to save their father, friend, and the Chancellor, Katelyn and Rhydon, along with Padme, Dooku, and the droids began to make their way to the bridge, cutting down any battle droids they met along the way.

Soon they reached the bridge where Obi-Wan and Anakin were battling with Grievous’ magnaguards, while the Sith Stalker and Xanatos watched. To their great interest, Grievous and Xanatos initially thought Dooku was on their side, but were instead surprised to see the Separatist leader use his red lightsaber against them, aiding the Jedi, and succeeded in killing Xanatos. Katelyn, Rhydon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Dooku proceeded to confront Grievous. Rather than be captured by the six opponents, Grievous surprised them by throwing an electro-staff of one of his destroyed magnaguards, and the Sith Stalker was sucked out into space, while the Jedi, astromech droids, politicians, and Dooku held onto different monitors to avoid being suck out into space with Grievous.

As Grievous managed to get back into the ship, only to jettison in one of the escape pods, Obi-Wan and Anakin realized that the Invisible Hand was disabled, and directed on a collision course to the planet surface. Immediately Katelyn, Rhydon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, Palpatine, and Dooku strapped themselves into different chairs while the astromech droids that they had with them magnetized to the floor. Katelyn watched as Rhydon aided Anakin fly the ship down to the planet surface, while the others strapped themselves into their seats, just in case anything went wrong. Eventually the ship crash lands onto the surface of Coruscant, coming to a stop on an airstrip.

After the Battle of Coruscant, a massive hunt for Grievous would begin, along with the other remaining Sith leading the Droid Army. While her brother immediately left for Mandalore, Katelyn remained on Coruscant, helping Dooku get reacquainted with the Jedi Order, as he was constantly escorted by clone troopers of the 157th Attack Battalion, a special division of clones assigned as a special security contingent to the Jedi Temple. She would often be seen speaking with Dooku, until she learned that Jedi Grandmaster Yoda was preparing to take the 41st Elite Corps, and leave for Kashyyk to help the Wookies. Katelyn would offer the assistance of the 82nd Attack Battalion to Yoda, who gratefully accepted the offer, and Katelyn prepped her flagship, the Jedi Cruiser Keeper, to leave for the jungle home planet of the Wookies, and soon left Coruscant once Yoda was onboard. As they traveled to Kashyyk, Katelyn spoke of her concerns about the growing darkness that existed in the Galaxy, prompting Yoda to console her, as he reminded her that the Jedi Order was prepared for whatever the Darkness has planned for them.

Katelyn and Yoda arrived at Kashyyyk, and rendezvoused with Qui-Gon Jinn and his clone unit the 12th Legion, Jedi Master Luminara Unduli, who was the Jedi General of the 41st Elite Corps, and Jedi Knight Quinlan Vos. Unfortunately, Katelyn also discovered that the 66th Regiment, a clone regiment that was heavily favored by Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, and worked alongside in a couple of battles and didn’t enjoy it. The 66th Regiment was not like any of the other clone units in the Clone Army, specifically that they held no value for honor and loyalty like the rest of the clones had, and they had no respect for the Jedi Leadership. Because the 66th Regiment held no honor, and no value for loyalty, many of the clones in the other clone units did not get along with the 66th, especially those that were led by Jedi.

As the Battle of Kashyyyk raged on, Katelyn led her troops from the front as she always did, while Yoda watched and directed the battle with Clone Commander Gree of the 41st Elite Corps. She knew that Luminara Unduli was dealing with the droids in the jungle, and Quinlan Vos was taking care of the swamps, leaving her to lead the fight on the beaches. Fortunately she was accompanied by Qui-Gon and the 12th Legion. Katelyn and her 82nd clones managed to keep the droids from advancing up the beach, when she and her troopers started get fired on from every clone from the 66th Regiment and a few of the 41st Elite Corps and 12th Legion. This was the issuing of Order 66.

Katelyn found that none of her own clones from the 82nd Attack Battalion were trying to execute the order, and quickly discovered that Palpatine had somehow found out about her relationship with Daniel, as well as the deep loyalty that Arthur had to her, and chose to eliminate the 82nd Attack Battalion entirely. Finding herself and her men pinned in a crossfire between the droids and the clones of the 66th Regiment and the imperialist clones of the 41st Elite Corps and 12th Legion, Katelyn and Qui-Gon ordered their men to keep fighting to the last man, until rescue could be sent. She did try to contact Yoda, but found that he was busy fighting off imperialist 41st and 12th clones himself, alongside Commander Gree, and Wookies Chewbacca, and Tarfful and several 41st and 12th clone loyalists. Fortunately, rescue did come, in the form of gunships and shuttles carrying female clone troopers.

Katelyn and Qui-Gon jumped at the chance to order their troops and the 12th and 41st loyalist to get aboard the gunships and shuttles, so that they could escape from the 66th Regiment and imperial 12th and 41st. Katelyn did make sure that the gunship she and Qui-Gon were in picked up Yoda and Commander Gree, but she was sadly unable to save Luminara, as she, Qui-Gon, and Yoda learned that she was killed, while Quinlan's fate was unknown. Forced to leave Vos behind, Katelyn ordered the gunship pilot to leave Kashyyyk, and head for her flagship the Keeper.

As the gunships approached the Venator Star Destroyers that were waiting for them, Katelyn watched in shock as her command ship the Star Destroyer Keeper, blew up in flames from the other star destroyers that were trying to stop them. Fearing that her admiral and best friend Melissa Porter, and her lover Daniel, who were aboard the Keeper, was killed in the explosion, she would be relieved to know that Melissa and Daniel were able to escape the Keeper, and made their way to the Jedi Battleship Yamato. Once the gunships landed in the starboard hangar of the Yamato, Admiral Porter gave the order for the remaining ships to jump to hyperspace. Immediately after the ship jumped into the blue haze of hyperspace, Katelyn sought out her lover, and held him in her arms, thankful that he was alive, along with her best friend.

The remainders of the 82nd Attack Fleet and Battalion would proceed to the rendezvous coordinates given by Yoda, which were taking the ships to the planet of Dagobah. Once at Dagobah, Katelyn would learn of Yoda’s contingency plans, and make their way to the secret jedi planet of Ceresta, where the Jedi Order would go into exile in the Unknown Regions, hiding from the new Galactic Empire. After arriving at Ceresta, Katelyn would reunite with her family, who had all thankfully survived Order 66 (something that had bothered her immensely, especially as her bipolar disorder increased her concerns), thanks to their loyalist clone troopers. Katelyn, alongside her twin brother Rhydon, would eventually oversee the of the integrations of female clone troopers and male clone troopers, which turned out to be relatively quick and easy, as the female and male clones had already accepted and openly welcomed each other.

Katelyn would continue to serve as the general of the 82nd Attack Battalion, and to her surprise, she would be given a seat on the Jedi Council, along with her twin brother Rhydon, Anakin, and Padme. After that, Katelyn would eventually take a Varactyl of her own, and named it Thorn, and witness the birth of her newest sister Miranda from her mother and father. Katelyn would also go on to give birth to her firstborn son, Arthur Klerk-Kenobi (Who was named after Commander Arthur), who would be apprenticed to Jedi Master Shaak Ti, Sierra Klerk-Kenobi who she took on as her own apprentice, and Jack Klerk-Kenobi who would be apprenticed to Mace Windu who would help him to control his anger (especially as he inherited Katelyn's bipolar disorder). She would also witness the births of her many nephews and nieces from her twin brother and three sister-in-laws: Thomas, Sofia, and Jango Kenobi from Zarina, Kimberly, and Orion Kenobi II from Taylor; and Harry, Gwen, and Zoey Kenobi from Grace. Katelyn loved each of her three children, and it would be at his point in her life that she had a better management of her bipolar disorder, though she still had random bouts of depression and sadness.

As time went by Katelyn, along with her twin Rhydon, advocated for a modification to the military ranking system of the Jedi Loyalists Forces, and Jedi military ranks. Fortunately for her, the Council agreed, and the ranks were modified, as well as the military powers and ranks of the Jedi Order, with the addition of a special rank known as the Jedi Supreme General, who would hold all military power and decision. To Katelyn's surprise, her twin brother would be given this very rank, but she noted that he felt concerned that the power would be too much for him, and requested that she be given the same rank, to balance him out, and his request was granted. Katelyn would continue to lead the 82nd Attack Battalion, which like many the many other loyal clone units was now comprised of male and female clone troopers, in many battles against the Empire.

When Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn, who Katelyn did have previous interactions and experience with, decided to defect from the Empire and join the Jedi, she, along with her twin brother Rhydon and father Obi-Wan advocated for the induction of Grand Admiral Thrawn, believing that the Jedi and their clones would benefit from the Chiss’ knowledge, which earned her and her family Thrawn’s respect and loyalty. With support from Thrawn and her brother, Katelyn advocated that the Jedi reorganize themselves, as they captured more territory form the Empire. When asked how the Jedi should reorganize, he controversially suggested that they make an empire of their own, but different from the Palpatine Empire that they were fighting against. Understandably the Jedi Council were concerned by this recommendation, and so both Katelyn and Rhydon came to Thrawn's aid. To ease her fellow Jedi, Katelyn and her brother recommended Padme to be the empress of the Jedi Empire, since she was extremely respected throughout the Galaxy. In the end, the Council agreed, but with some counter-arguments stating that the Jedi Order be slightly separate from the government of the new empire, and thus the Amidala Empire was born, with not only the planet of Naboo, but countless worlds and star systems flocking to the Amidala Empire for protection from the Palpatine Empire.

When it came time for the Jedi Order to consider an alliance between the Amidala Empire and the Rebel Alliance, Katelyn was as equally as wary as her brother was and feared that the Rebels wouldn't want to ally with one Empire, just to fight another, but fortunately the respect that Padme had in the Galaxy was more than enough for the Rebellion to ally with the Jedi. In the end, the Amidala Empire and Rebel Alliance came to work together quite well, though to both Katelyn and Rhydon's dismay, Senator Mon Mothma, who served as the executive leader of the Rebel Alliance, was not as fond with the idea of another Empire, or that former Palpatine Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn was openly accepted and protected by the Jedi, but held her reserves to herself.

Katelyn continued to serve the Jedi, leading Commander Arthur, the 82nd Attack Battalion, and the clones through multiple engagements with the Empire. She would advocate for having Melissa promoted to the rank of Grand Admiral after the successes of Thrawn as a Jedi Starfleet Grand Admiral, and seeing her children grow up to be great Jedi or military leaders in their own rights.

Katelyn would participate in the Battle of Endor, where she would eventually go onto the Death Star alongside her twin brother Rhydon, Anakin and Padme Skywalker. They would engage in a lightsaber battle with Darth Grievous, Asajj Ventress, Darth Hunter, Sara Palpatine, and Grievous’ Sith Stalker guards, along with Palpatine himself, as Maul had already been killed by Qui-Gon nearly a year prior to Endor. The Sith Lords of Palpatine’s Order proved difficult for the four Jedi to fight, but fortunately, Katelyn’s daughter Sierra, Rhydon son Thomas, and Anakin and Padmé’s twins Luke and Leia came to their aid. With the additional aid from their respective kids, Katelyn and the others were able to take down the Sith Lords and stalkers, with Katelyn and Rhydon finally ending Grievous’ reign of terror on the Jedi, and avenging themselves for their humiliation on Hypori during the Clone Wars. With all the Sith taken care of, Katelyn recognized that Palpatine was the last threat, and watched as Anakin and Padme fought the Sith Emperor. With the assistance of Luke and Leia, Anakin and Padme defeated and killed Palpatine, and began to get off the battle station as it began to blow up.

The Jedi would successfully manage to escape from the dying battle station, and witness the Second Death Star be destroyed during the Battle of Endor. With the destruction of the Second Death Star, it officially ended the reign of Emperor Palpatine with his death, and his high ranking Sith Lords. To Katelyn’s happiness, from the dying embers of the Palpatine Empire, rose the new and better Amidala Empire, which guaranteed and protected peace, freedom, and justice for the people of the Galaxy, with Padme as the Empress, and Anakin as Emperor.

Phantom Menace:

Jedi Padawan.

Jedi Padawan (Cloak).

Jedi Padawan (Cloak; Hooded).

Lightsabers.

Attack of the Clones:

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 1 Helmet).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Hooded).

Lightsabers.

The Clone Wars:

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; 414th Legion).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 1 Helmet; 414th Legion).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; 414th Legion).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; Hooded; 414th Legion).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; 414th Legion; Battle of Hypori).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Wounded; 414th Legion; Battle of Hypori).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; 414th Legion; Medical Frigate Bright Hope).

Jedi Padawan (Medical Frigate Bright Hope; Healed).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; 414th Legion; Scarred).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 1 Helmet; 414th Legion; Scarred).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; 414th Legion; Scarred).

Jedi Padawan (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; Hooded; 414th Legion; Scarred).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 1 Helmet; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; Hooded; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Knight (Cold Weather Gear).

Jedi Knight (Cold Weather Gear; Goggles).

Jedi Knight (Cold Weather Gear; Goggles & Hood).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 2 Helmet; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Jedi Knight (Jedi Combat Armor; Cloak; Hooded; 82nd Attack Battalion).

Lightsabers.

Jedi Robes.

Jedi Robes (Cloak).

Jedi Robes (Cloak; Hooded).

Lightsabers.

Revenge of The Sith:

Jedi Knight.

Jedi Knight (Cloak).

Jedi Knight (Cloak; Hooded).

Lightsabers.

Post-Order 66:

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Robe).

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Robes; Cloak).

Jedi Master Jedi Combat Robes (Hooded).

Lightsabers.

A New Hope/Empire Strikes Back/Return of The Jedi:

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Armor; Supreme General).

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 3 Helmet; Supreme General).

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Armor; Cape; Supreme General).

Jedi Master (Jedi Combat Armor; Phase 3 Helmet; Cape; Supreme General).

Lightsabers.

Family: King Orion Kenobi (Grandfather), Queen Marion Kenobi (Grandmother); Prince Owen Kenobi (Uncle), Princess Helena Kenobi (Aunt), Prince Samson Kenobi (Cousin), Princess Jessara Kenobi (Cousin), Sayuri Kenobi (Cousin); Obi-Wan Kenobi (Father), Siri Kenobi (Mother); Rhydon Kenobi (Brother), Zarina Kenobi (Sister-In-Law), Thomas Kenobi (Nephew), Sofia Kenobi (Niece), Jango Kenobi (Nephew); Taylor Smith (Sister-In-Law), Kimberly Kenobi (Niece), Orion Kenobi II (Nephew); Grace June (Sister-In-Law), Harry Kenobi (Nephew), Gwen Kenobi (Niece), Zoey Kenobi (Niece); Daniel Klerk (Husband, Arthur Klerk-Kenobi (Son), Sierra Klerk-Kenobi (Daughter), Jack Klerk-Kenobi (Son); Miranda Kenobi (Sister); Satine Kryze (Stepmother), Eliza Kenobi (Half-Sister), Anya Kryze (Half-Sister); Lord Tobias Kenobi (Granduncle), Lady Belle Kenobi (Grandaunt), Ellen Kenobi (First Cousin), Oliver Kenobi (First Cousin).

25 notes · View notes

mintvender · 3 years

Text

BTS’s Reaction to Y/N’s Wound/Scar

After raiding the palace

Harem!Au

Warnings: slightest suggestiveness in Jimin’s, slight angst

Masterlist

Kim Taehyung

Since he was a part of the raid, and one of the strategic planners of it, he was confused when he heard of the news. Everything should have been going as the original plan so what had happened that Y/N was put into harm? He hurriedly ran to your side to examine Y/N’s wounds. Turned out, the emperor managed to scratched your forearm during your fight but thankfully it was not life threatening yet still made Taehyung mad. Frustrated at himself for miscalculating the possibility but you managed to coaxed him out of such a depressing headspace by offering to spend time with him later. And with that, the young lad was back to his bubbly self.

When you guys were having your ‘date’, he would try to be as close to you as possible, constantly invading your personal space but that was normal when interacting with him. You guys would end up cuddling up to each other, with him lying on your other arm to avoid the wounded arm as you both stay there for seemingly hours, bathing in each other warmth, not caring if others misjudge your affection towards one another. During those hours, he would constantly promise you that he will never repeat those mistakes in the future. You can subtly sense his slight shivers as his voice began to crack as he still could not believe what could have happen if you were not as agile; his lifesaver, benefactor, and the love of his life might not be here if they were t— Before he could believe that, Y/N stopped him with their calm hums and gentle smile, comforting him by telling him that they believe him.

“ Y/N, I am so sorry. This will never happen in the future, I will make sure of it.”

Kim Namjoon

During the entire raid, Namjoon stayed in his residence waiting for his cue to appear as he was also a part of the plan. Unfortunately, before he could even see the cue, a soldier ran into his office startling him. Turn out, multiple members were injured and need his help. Sighing, he quickly stand up and rushed to get the materials needed. He then ushered the soldier outside to bring more people to help him carry his stuff. As soon as the soldier return, they immediately headed off to the fields.

When he got there, he almost rolls his eyes with the amount of the wounded. What made him did not do so, was when he spotted a reflection of a familiar blade. He looked over to see Y/N sitting on the floor, wrapping their injured arm with bandages. Namjoon wanted to rush over there to help them but he knew that they would refuse his help, claiming that there were many others that were at a more critical state. With that in mind, he decided to get to work, trying to increase his pace to go to you faster. He along with many medical members of the organization did their absolute best, and within an evening, they were done with all the patients— except for you that is.

Namjoon was the first person to volunteer treating you and was happily on his way to do so since the rest of the medical helpers were too exhausted to protest. He arrived at your new room inside the palace that was clearly cleaned with how different it looked compared to when the Min emperor had occupied it. This time, Y/N accepted his help and he quickly got to work, applying various herbs onto the wound. As he continue to do so, they made little conversation to help pass the time and by the time Namjoon finished, they were both content with the amount of time they had spend together.

“ Y/N, this is Namjoon. I am here to apply medicine on your wounds.”

Jung Hoseok

As he did not know about the raiding plan that his father had revealed that he was a part of, he did not know who you were. The first time he saw you was after the raid, with you sitting on the throne, with a wounded arm? His father offered one of his best physician but was denied by you, claiming that you were fine. Meanwhile, here he was, standing behind his father not knowing what to do. When you had asked his father about him, he happily introduced you both, subtly hinting that Hoseok was gifted to you. Knowing that he was getting abandoned and into a tyrant’s hand, we wanted to protest but decided not to, knowing that it is useless. Much to his surprise, you requested to have a private meeting and of course his father happily accepted on his behalf.

The morning after such an eventful day, Hoseok realized that he was standing in front of your resting chamber, waiting for permission to enter. Unlike his normal happy self, he could barely stand on his legs without them shivering like crazy. When the time came to enter your chamber, he expected it to be filled with expensive decoration but was met with one, in which was simpler than his. Y/N was currently sitting against a large table next to their bed, working on some paperwork. When they saw him, they unexpectedly smile, shocking him in the process. You gestured him to come closer to you until you both were sat opposite of each other. As he come closer to you, he noticed that you kept holding your injured arm— as if you were protective of it. Amidst the moment, he asked if he could help you apply medicine. You were suprised but didn’t denied. That was the beginning of your great relationship. And by the time he left your chamber, the thought of being married to you did not seem so heartbreaking.

“ M-m... may I assist you in applying your medicine?”

Min Yoongi

The moment he saw you ended his father’s disgusting life, he was devoted to you, determined to pay you back. Unfortunately, many considered him to be threatening the safety of the mission so he was not able to work and as a result, forced to be in a courtyard for the remaining of his years; well that was what he thought, at least. This, however change, when you both met each other again the evening after the successful raid. Turned out, Y/N went to offer him an opportunity to secure his safety and lifestyle. Before Y/N could even reveal what they were talking about, Yoongi nods his head immediately; he even begged you to take him under your wing. Y/N was bewildered by how fast Yoongi had accepted and offer him to go somewhere else more private to talk. Yoongi immediately opened up and told you that he wanted to repay you for getting him out of his father’s grasp but didn’t know how to do so. The poor boy was getting so distressed that his eyes couldn’t help themselves to turn into a waterfall. Y/N tried to comfort him but they realized that no amount of comfort would be better than to let it all out— the dam that the poor prince had build up for himself had collapsed by the tough water tides. So Y/N did th enter best thing and hug him/

It took some time for Yoongi to calm down in Y/N’s arm but when he was finally able to, he noticed that Y/N’s left arm was profusely bleeding. During his breakdown, he had desperately hold onto that arm and unfortunately worsen its condition. Y/N, however, managed to assure him before he get another breakdown. The poor prince didn’t know how to treat a wound so he resulted in profusely apologize to them. Y/N quickly shook their head, assuring him, but Yoongi was not convince. Unexpectedly, he reached for their arm and slowly blow on it to help get rid of some of the pain. He kept doing that, while kneeling on the ground. He only stoped when his legs were beginning to ache but was still somewhat unsatisfied and made Y/N to update him on their recovering process. That was the only incident that Y/N had seen him this vulnerable in public and is glad that he feels comfortable enough to be vulnerable around them.

“ Y-y-you are bleeding. It was my fault that you got worse. Let me help you ease the pain... you’re my savior after all.”

Jeon Jungkook

It was a few weeks after you guys successfully took over the castle and everything was seemingly falling into their space. Jungkook was happy by your side away from the rest of the soldiers who were constantly either pitying him or mock him because of his lineage. At least with you, no one would dare to speak without thinking first and he was overjoyed to finally be able to relax. To him, you were a very strange person; how can you be so wise yet kind to a nobody like him? There were many times that you would burden yourself to teach him about strategic planning, yourself. Why would the ruler teach their own bodyguard? As much as he find this fact strange, he noticed that every time you raised your left arm to high, your posture would be a little too stiff. After a few sessions and a lot of planning, he finally decided to ask you about your arm. Y/N answered while looking at him, quietly scanning his expression to see his horrified face? Seeing that he had no idea, you began to explain the details and by the end, he looked to much like a bunny that you couldn’t help but chuckle.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was shock by the information that was just given to him. Of course getting injured during a battle was normal but how did he not know this, he was their bodyguard and did not know that his master was injured? He quickly told himself that he was yet their bodyguard at that time but that quickly was forgotten as he he got mad at himself for not being observant enough. Jungkook then told them that there was no need for them to continue teaching him when they were in this stage. You then quickly assured him that you were fine but decided that it was not worth the effort when you saw his determined expression. With that said, Jungkook bowed to you and quickly exited the room, going to see Namjoon for more medicine.

“ Your highness, there is no need for you to overexert yourself for me. Please take more time to rest and get back to perfect condition as soon as possible.”

Kim Seokjin

Since he did was not present in the first few months of the newly renovated nation, he definitely did not expect for you to have a scar on your forearm. With your kingdom’s regular clothing, both your arms were on displayed for the world to see but Seokjin was secretly possessive of that. Anyways, you guys were bonding each other at a rather fast pace so it did not suprised anyone when you invited him over to your courtyard; Seokjin was ecstatic and began to brag about it to the servants that he had brought with him. When the time came to meet you, he put on one of his best outfit and headed out the door and practically prancing towards your courtyard. Unfortunately before he got to examine you, all he saw was an ugly scar on your forearm; he would have fainted if it wasn’t for his strong will of staying strong. He then summoned his servants to run back and get the best mediocre from his luggage while yelling at you for being so careless.

When the servant was about to apply the medicine, he interrupted, insisting that he could do it, himself resulting in a big mess on your already chaotic-looking arm. Begrudgingly he handed the bottle to the servant to let them take care of you when you jokingly comment about his obevious overusage of medicine. Unexpectedly, his face was burning up from embarrassment but he feigned ignorance to that even after you teased him. Not wanting to be a victim of your teasing, he decided to yelled at you for your carelessness and asked who had harm you. After he found out that it was the former king, he frustratedly huff as he could no longer do anything to the dead man but when poor Taehyung got mentioned, he decided that it was his mission to make sure Taehyung would never repeat the same mistake again. Poor Taehyung, after feeling so guilty, he is now getting yelled at by another country’s merchant who is unfortunately older than him; at least, he could go to you for comfort.

“ YAH! What were you thinking fighting that wretched bastard alone. Were you out of your mind??? Answer me, Y/N!”

Park Jimin

It was once of those nights where Jimin was constantly teasing you with his requests flirts. This time, however, he somehow managed to slip into your chamber and was laying on your oh-so comfortable bed when you entered the room. You were planning to continue brainstorming some plans but it seems that this particular warm night was not in your favour. There he was, lying suggestively on your bed with a knowing look. Unfortunately, you were not in the mood and decided to dismiss him before letting yourself plopped on the sit and tried to work. Jimin, however, did not listen to your command and was heading towards you. He sneakily sat in fron tof you and looked at you prettily. That was when you admitted that, whoever had trained him did a great job in making him manipulated. With that in mind, you absentminded said that out loud causing the boy’s expression to immediately drop, his posture went stiff, and his eyes no longer held the flirtiness from before. Thinking that he would leave after such comment, you turned yoru attention back to yoru pile of papers but was once again interrupted by a painful force on your cheek that forced your head to follow the force’s direction. You instinctly placed your hand on your cheek at looked at Jimin, suddenly you realized what had happen. He had just slapped you.

The atmosphere in the room was getting tenser as the moment continue to prolong; with Jim angrily glaring at you and yourself not being able to hide your surprised expression. He then yelled at you for saying such disrespectful words to his teacher but you quickly yelled back, provoking him even more. He continued to yell at you while you follow right after; you did not know why he was so angry, it was clear that his mentor’s teachings were wrong. Before you could try to explain their actions to him, Jimin suddenly froze in his spot, his eyes stared into yours, surprised. One moment you can see him stare at you, unmoving, the next you can see him on the floor to not hit him. Confused, you crouched down and hugged him, apologing for your precious rash actions. You, however, were not going to let his previous pass; who had hit him? When he was able to calm down a bit, you decided to ask him.

At first, he looked very reluctant but ultimately decided that it would be best. He then explained everything; from how much hate he got from his family for being a male, to getting send to a boarding school to help train him to be the perfect husband, and convince him that beating him was a way to help discipline him. By the end of Jimin’s heartbreaking story, you were fuming with rage but decided that it was not the best time. During the process, you noticed that he continued to fidget in his spot and constantly scratch his expose skin which were littered with scars; he usually were long sleeves but decided that today was an exception. You worried that he would end up hating his body and to confirm that hypothesis, you asked him and the answer was what you had expected. You then decided to show him the scar that you had accumulated during the fight with the emperor. slowly explained to him that this was a part of you, and made who you are today; that even if it was not pretty, it made you. You would go back and forth between those sentences to make sure that he understand your purpose. But before he can say anything, you also offer him a chance to erase faint scars or help fade ones that he hated. In the moment, Jimin smiled at your caring actions and replied that he will think about it. Satisfied with the answer, you then let him cuddle up to you until the early dawn had cracked the midnight sky. Now you are proud to say that Jimin is slowly getting more confidant in his body.

“ You also have them? Why do you keep showing them off? It’s a part of you? What does that mean? Do you think that I can be like you?”

#harem au #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts rm #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts hoseok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts Jungkook #bts angst #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts harem au #MintVender #Ot7

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kuroos-moon · 4 years

Text

When Tragedy Becomes of Blooming Romance

pairing: Akaashi x reader

genre/s: fluff to angst

— Falling in love is dreamy and all, especially when it’s with Akaashi Keiji; but the probable pain of parting could be twice the amount of the happiness, couldn’t it?

seven months ago

“Akaashi-kun! I can sit here right?” Your eyes bright as they meet his sleepy ones. That was the first time you ever spoke to him, though definitely not the first time he took notice of you.

He rubs his eyes, not fully believing that you of all people would talk to him this fine and early morning. “Uh, sure,” he mutters, subtly scanning the room only to see there were too many available seats aside from the one beside him.

He looks at you as you give him a toothy smile along with a short thankful nod, placing your bag on your desk and taking a seat. “Ohayo,” he says under his breath, causing you to snap your head towards his direction. “Ah! Sorry I forgot to greet you!” You apologize, face flustered. “It’s alr-”

“Ohayo Akaashii!” You cut him off, causing him to seal his lips shut. You were indeed loud, but you made him smile too— internally at least. He nods at you before turning away, placing his chin on top of his hand as he glanced outside.

You mimic his actions, though you weren’t glancing outside, you were looking at him, the both of you finding what you see beautiful nonetheless. “Y/n-chan?” He softly says, the sound of your name out from his lips leaving you surprised, your cheeks now tinted with pink.

His voice sounded too sweet and fragile, too quiet for you to hear but loud enough to drown out the sound of your own heartbeat; nothing less to be expected from Akaashi Keiji, the quiet boy you loved to admire from afar.

“I was wondering why you sat beside me,” he says, and you decided then and there that his voice would be your calm and destruction all at the same time.

“I was feeling gutsy today,” you say before thinking your words through, “finally had the courage,” you add, swearing your mouth just spews out things on its own sometimes. Embarrassed, you shift on your seat, fidgeting with your fingers as you now look the other way.

“I see,” is all you hear him say.

Classes start, things have been a bore so far, not to mention your short attention span. The last period before lunch draws in, and to your dismay, you had to write an essay about what made you happy— there’s a lot, how were you supposed to fit your ideas in?!

Akaashi begins writing, wasting no time as he scribbles his thoughts down elegantly and with ease. His attention’s shifted as he hears you groan from beside him, rummaging through your bag; his eyes drifting to the blank sheet on your desk, he assumes you probably lost your pen.

As to not disturb the quiet room, he merely pokes your side gently with his pen, eyeing you as you look at him in surprise. “Than-” you purse your lips immediately when he brings a finger to his lips to remind you to be quiet. “Thank you,” you whisper as the butterflies go wild in your stomach when your fingers slightly brush the setter’s soft ones.

He’s done with his essay, not really feeling like submitting ahead because he’d be the first one. He takes his leisurely time to observe his surroundings— wait no, who cares about his surroundings? He wanted to observe you, as if he hasn’t done it enough ever since highschool.

“Wait, I forgot to include my dogs,” you mumble to yourself, an involuntary small smile immediately finding its way to his lips. Adorable as always, y/n-chan. You weren’t doing anything special, you were simply writing, stopping every once in a while as you were in obvious thought before you happily scribble down again.

His brows raise and his lips part, a surge of too overwhelming feelings filling his chest. It was unfair, however ordinary you act, you made him feel too much, like how you take in the sunrise through the city’s edge, and the sunsets that reddened the blue sea.

“Akaashi-kun,” you say his name, Akaashi setting aside the emotions that literally came out of nowhere. “Are you done with yours?” You ask, fighting the tingles you felt as you look each other in the eyes for seconds too long.

He shortly nods, looking away from you. “Then shall we hand it in together?” You ask, sounding hopeful. You didn’t even have to ask twice as he wordlessly gets up from his seat, too flustered to utter another word; waiting for you to get up as well so you could walk up front with him behind you.

four months ago

“Keeijjjiii!” You scream, an instant smile forming on his lips at your loud voice as he gets some books from his locker. “Keiji,” you say again, now standing beside him, slightly leaning on the locker beside his.

“Ohayo, y/n-chan,” he greets without looking at you. You slightly pout at the nonchalant lad before you, opening his locker door wider so that you could see his face. “Ohayo, love of my life,” you smile brightly and he offers you a slight chuckle in response.

“Did you eat breakfast?” He asks you after finally closing his locker. “Yes sir,” you grin and he nods in approval before the both of you make your way to class. He may not have known you knew, but you were very much well aware of how he was secretly placing a hand underneath your bag to lighten its weight on your shoulders.

“What are you smiling about?” He asks, glancing down at you. “You,” you say with no shame, it’s been like this everyday anyway; constant flirting and Keiji brushing them off thoughtlessly.

He sighs at the look on your face, a smile now on his lips when you looked away from him. “You make me smile too, y/n-chan,” he says, looking ahead and maybe overthinking a little too much whether he should take it back or not. “I know,” you smugly say, and all he could do was laugh a little as you put him at ease like how you always do.

two months ago

“I told you not to wait,” he sighs, your arms wrapping around his waist as you hug him from behind. “It’s already late y/n,” he mumbles, holding your hands in his to warm them up. “I’m sweaty too,” he adds, stroking his thumb over your skin.

“Y/n?” He asks in concern, you were oddly silent, staying still as you rested your forehead on the back of his shoulder. “Keiji, I need a hug,” you meekly say and he immediately knew something was wrong. “I’m sorry for popping in all of a sudden after your practice,” the guilt in yout voice making his heart clench, he doesn’t want you to feel bad about it.

He untangles your hold on him before he turns around to face you, hugging you against himself. “It’s okay,” he mutters, leaning down to your ear, “I needed your hug too.”

You both stay in that position for a while, Akaashi patiently waiting for you to tell him what’s wrong and you knew he was expecting you to. “I love you Keiji,” you say, your voice muffled and you could easily feel him tense and freeze up against you.

“For real, I’m in love with you,” you whisper, your hand clutching on his shirt tightly as you nervously await his response. He lets out another sigh, and you had no idea in hell whether it was a good thing or not. “And I loved you first y/n,” he says, lips brushing lightly against your ear.

one month ago

“I’ll head to practice,” he informs you, ruffling your hair as you both stood on the last step of the stairs. “Don’t strain too much,” you pinch his cheek, Akaashi quick to pull your hand away before he nods at you.

“I love you,” you call out, watching the flustered Keiji turn on his heel to face you once again as his ears turn pink in embarrassment. “Y/n lower your voice next time,” he lightly scolds, but you return his look with a pout, “don’t you love me?”

“I love you, y/n,” he says in a quiet voice, “then ask me out already,” you stick your tongue out at him but he only smiles, his eyes holding all the love in the world as they look at you.

three weeks ago

Bokuto sighs from beside him. “What’s wrong Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asks, looking at the seemingly depressed owl that sat beside him on the bench during their break.

“Promise you won’t laugh at me Akaashi,” he pouts and the former nods at him. “There’s this girl, she’s majestic, she’s really really pretty and nice,” he sadly says, looking down on the floor. “What’s the problem?”

“Y/n L/n’s too good for me,” Bokuto sighs, head falling back, oblivious to the fact that Akaashi had short-circuited almost immediately. “You guys are pretty close, can you tell me what kind of stuff she likes? I talked to her a few times when she waits for you in here,” he pouts, looking at his friend.

“And I’ve never wanted anyone more than her, Akaashiii,” he dramatically says. “Please say you’ll set us up,” Bokuto puts on his attempt to look like a cute puppy.

Akaashi clears his throat, not meeting his gaze. “I’ll see what I can do, Bokuto-san,” he says in a low voice, guilt, hurt and confusion making it hard for him to breathe all of a sudden.

present

Bokuto grins down at you, as you laughed at the joke he just said. “Do you wanna watch me practice later, y/n-chan?” He gleefully asks you, excitement in his eyes but you couldn’t help the sad expression you wore at his words when you remember Akaashi.

“It’s okay! Totally okay if you don’t want to,” he nervously puts his hands up before him. You were about to respond to him when you see the all too familiar raven-haired setter blended in the crowd inside the halls, your eyes glued to the back of his head.

“I’m sorry I have something to do, talk to you later Bokuto-san!” You hurriedly call off, making your way to Akaashi. “Keiji!” You call, you knew he heard you, but you also knew just as much that he’s pretending to not hear. He’s been ignoring you for almost a month now and you plan to show him just how stubborn you are.

“Keiji,” you breathe out, momentarily caught off guard when your eyes meet again. He glances down your hand that was holding his, he knew he shouldn’t savor this moment too much but he can’t bring himself to pull away, he missed your too much that it ached for every single second of everyday, a non-stop reminder that he has hurt you and that he was hurting too.

“Keiji, please, stop this already. Are you really gonna let this on forever?” You desperately say, your brows furrowed as you look up at his eyes that seemingly held no emotion. “I told you y/n, I’m really sorry but I was confused, I don’t want you to wait for me to ask you out— I just can’t imagine myself being that for you,” he softly says.

“I’m really sorry y/n, you’re just not the one for me,” he says with finality, your teary eyes twisting the blade that pierced his heart. Without thinking he lifts his hand, about to cup your cheek, about to do such a sinful thing— is it really too bad if he kissed you right now? Can he really not be with you?

“Akaashi Keiji, I love you, please don’t do this to me,” you whisper, and he was about to say those words back too. He was so close to pulling you in, to lose himself in you, to have everything back to normal; but from behind you he saw his best friend, the senior he had so much to thank for.

“I’m sorry y/n.”

You watch him as he walks away, knowing fully well that when the love of your life Akaashi Keiji decided on something, there was just no turning back.

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quazartranslates · 3 years

Text

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH10

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 10: Resurrection Overture (X)

{cw: transmisogyny, heavy misgendering, sexual harassment. E/N: This chapter is entirely a long “joke” and can be skipped if you wish.}

The bathroom door opened and the fancifully dressed Illusionist smiled at him: "What did you see?"　　

"I didn't see anything!" Qi Leren shouted a sentence that innocent witnesses would shout.　　

He was telling the truth. At that time, Qi Leren’s inner panic had quickly and completely covered the picture in front of him. What's more, the Illusionist's skirt was really thick and heavy, and it was impossible to see how "she" pulled out the organ that the woman should not have from under the skirt for such a "drainage operation".　　

The illusionist cocked his head and looked at him with a smile, with a dangerous light shining in his deep black pupils.　　

Suddenly, he held out his hand and hooked it on Qi Leren's chin. Qi Leren was so stiff that he couldn't move. The Illusionist raised his chin, leaned in toward his cheek, and whispered in his ear with a husky and charming voice, "It doesn't matter if you didn't see it. I don't mind letting you take a closer look. Right here?"　　

# I was molested by a beautiful woman in the men's room and she insisted on taking off her skirt so that I could see it. Urgent, waiting online! #　　

Qi Leren still couldn't move, only able to open his mouth. Smelling the refreshing perfume of the great beauty in front of him, Qi Leren blurted out a word that hurt the scenery: "Did you wash your hands just now?"　　

The Illusionist paused, and the look of surprise on his beautiful face was somewhat funny.　　

Qi Leren was awake, but his body still couldn't move. Just now when he’d looked into the Illusionist’s eyes, his mind had been shaken and his body had been bound by an invisible power. This was obviously some ability the Illusionist had used on him. But he believed that the Illusionist had no malice. After all, "she" is a member of the Court.　　

The Illusionist took his hand away in disgust and glanced at Qi Leren: "You’re not shocked to see a beautiful woman like me and can even still think about washing hands. You really are gay."　　

Qi Leren argued: "I have never seen a beautiful woman using a urinal in the men's room, but I have seen a crossdresser dressed as a woman, thank you."　　

The Illusionist showed a charming smile that could turn any living being: "I’ll threaten you again."　　

Qi Leren, shut up for a second.　　

The Illusionist walked past him, turned on the copper faucet, washed his hands, dried them with a clean handkerchief, and walked with flowing steps towards the door.　　

Qi Leren, who was still bound as if by nothing and couldn’t move, shouted, "Hey, let me go! It's perverted for me to stand in front of the men's room like this!"　　

He didn't want to be a perverse living sculpture standing in front of the men's room as he thought about life!　　

The Illusionist stopped, touched his chin, and thought for a moment. When his eyes lit up, he turned back and lifted Qi Leren bodily, and planted him in front of the women’s room as if he was a big tree.　　

Damn, this was even more perverted!　　

After the prank, the Illusionist happily looked at him from all angles. He raised his women's cane and poked Qi Leren's pale face: "Stand guard for the ladies, this is a punishment for your unkind behavior just now. Bye-bye!"　　

With that said, the Illusionist walked away, leaving Qi Leren standing in front of the women's room like a pervert who was thinking about how to peep.　　

Qi Leren was convinced in his heart that he was in trouble with the Illusionist!　　

Soon, a young girl who was passing by walked toward the public toilet and saw Qi Leren standing at the entrance of the women's room. She obviously showed a hint of hesitation.　　

Something must be done! Otherwise, your reputation will be ruined today! Qi Leren put 200% of himself into his acting under this great pressure. He took the lead in stopping the girl: "Sorry, excuse me. Can you help me go in and see my girlfriend? She hasn't come out for fifteen minutes. We... just had a fight and I’m a little worried about her."　　

When he reached this last sentence, Qi Leren lowered his eyes and showed the loneliness and sadness of a person who was about to have his heart broken.　　

The kind-hearted girl agreed without saying anything: "Wait here."　　

With that, she walked into the women's toilet and came out after a short time. When she saw the hopeful eyes on Qi Leren’s face, she suddenly couldn't say it. After a long time, she sympathized: "There’s no one in the toilet, but the window is open..."　　

Qi Leren's eyes darkened and he lost his mind as he said, "Really, thank you."　　

"She should be gone, so you should leave," the girl kindly advised.　　

—I also want to go, Qi Leren thought on the verge of tears, but he can't move right now! Even if it was just for the sake of not being labelled as having a “perverse condition”, he had to act!　

"She’s always like this. When she gets angry, she runs away and then comes back... I’ll wait for her again, or else when she comes back and sees that I’m not here she’ll lose her temper at me again." Qi Leren showed a sad but helpless smile, perfectly playing a good man who was tolerant of his wayward girlfriend.　　

The girl couldn't help but envy the wayward girlfriend who didn't exist. It was just like a heroine to have such a gentle and handsome boyfriend yet show him such treatment.　　

The door of the women's toilet suddenly opened and the returning Illusionist raised his chin coldly. He saw Qi Leren standing outside the door and sneered: "Why haven't you left yet?"　　

Isn't it because of you?! Qi Leren spit on him in his heart, but he still had a gentle smile on his face: "Waiting for you."　　

"That’s just like you." The illusionist rolled his eyes and stepped forward to take Qi Leren's hand. "Let's go, I want to eat at that expensive western restaurant."　　

At the moment he was grabbed, Qi Leren's body recovered its ability to move. He immediately held the Illusionist in cooperation and smiled at the kind girl: "Thank you, goodbye."　　

The girl was still being shocked by the Illusionist, and she finally knew why this man would move heaven and earth for his girlfriend—because she was beautiful! But there had been no one in the bathroom just now. She was wearing the sort of clothing that made mobility difficult, yet she had climbed through such a small window rather than going through the front door. How did that work? The girl looked at the couple’s backs and fell into confusion again.　　

As soon as the "loving couple" holding hands walked out of the passerby’s sight, they quickly separated their hands. The Illusionist laughed and said, "Your acting skills are good, I even let you get away with it."　　

"I’m flattered, and your level of dressing as a woman is admirable," Qi Leren couldn't resist laughing at him.　　

"You dare? I heard that you were very coquettish and moving when cosplaying as a succubus, but that you couldn’t even tell that you were more like an inexperienced virgin when you had to act sexual. No wonder you’re interested." The Illusionist never gave up on teaching him a lesson.　　

After all, Qi Leren's skills were inferior to that of the Illusionist’s, and he became depressed and shut up after being poked in a sore spot.　　

He doesn't look pleasing to the eye to the Illusionist, and the illusionist didn't look pleasing to the eye to him, so it's better not get along.　　

"I really do have you use the toilet," Qi Leren said, and turned and walked back.　　

"I’ll wait for you at the door." The Illusionist pretended not to recognize that he meant for them to leave separately.　　

"...No need."　　

"Why not? Aren’t you going to treat me to that expensive western restaurant?" The Illusionist smiled, "You can't run away, I won't give you this chance to escape my orders."　　

Qi Leren had never seen such a brazen man, and it took him a long time to be sure that he wasn’t joking.　　

I won’t run? I'm kidding. Of course I have to run! And run skillfully! Qi Leren went into the bathroom and closed the door. After a little preparation, it went without saying that he activated the [Secretly Observing] skill card. With his five senses enhanced, he heard the Illusionist outside the men's room knocking on the ground with his cane: "There’s still 30 seconds, I’ll go in if you don't come out again, twenty-nine, twenty-eight..."　　

Thirty seconds passed quickly and the Illusionist kicked the door open, looking solemnly at the empty men's room. He didn't even have to open the cubicle doors one by one to know that Qi Leren was no longer here.　　

Had he actually run away? He clearly hadn't heard the sound of him climbing out the window. Did he use some kind of skill card to eliminate the sound? The Illusionist squinted, stood by the window, and found a fresh footprint when he looked carefully.　　

"I really look down on you." The Illusionist angrily strode out of the men's room.　　

At the door of the men's room, a man who was about to walk in suddenly saw a beautiful and formally dressed woman coming out of it and subconsciously took a step back. The Illusionist who passed by him smiled and confidently said, "You’re wrong."　　

"I'm sorry, I'm wrong!" The man hurriedly apologized, withdrew without looking, plunged into the opposite ladies' room, and started up screams and curses from the ladies' room. The frightened man fled in a hurry and was chased and scolded for being "perverted" all the way. He was absolutely wronged.　　

Without feeling guilty, the culprit pressed the exquisite European top hat onto his head and left calmly.　　

Once he’d confirmed that the Illusionist had left, Qi Leren, who was crouched under the sink in the men's toilet pretending to be a mushroom, was relieved for a long time. [Secretly Observing] was really awesome, the Illusionist hadn't realized that he’d been in the men's room the whole time. After all, Qi Leren wasn’t sure that the sound of opening the window wouldn’t alert him, so he simply left a footprint on the windowsill and hid himself in a corner that wasn’t easy to see at a glance while using his convenient skill card, holding his breath and waiting for the Illusionist to come up empty and leave.　　

As a result, he successfully escaped a forced "date".　　

Thank goodness.

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#Welcome to the Nightmare Game #欢迎来到噩梦游戏 #danmei

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freddiefcknmercury · 3 years

Text

A Promise(part 2)- Crimson & Clover

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader(Black coded/Genderless)

Word Count: 2.7+

Warnings/Disclaimer: SMUT. ANGST. cursing. mild depression/heart-ache. etc etc. if something needs to be tagged please lemme know.

A/N: LOL I'm back on my bullshit yall. heavy angst/depression from the previous Steve centered storyline so if you haven't read "You really think I didn't know?" I'll do some magic linky links here and at the bottom just in case. Also I'm trying something kinda different with the way I post the fics so feedback is welcome.

ALSO this one comes with a tiny playlist! there are Bolded lyrics throughout if you want to get a deeper sense of where I was emotionally writing this and where reader is as well you can Def give these songs a listen, they are in order of appearance:

Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & The Shondells

Every Time I Breathe- Arlissa

Navy Blue - Hasani

Summary: Bucky takes an extended leave for "work" related reasons and reader slips back into some dark places in his absence...

~*As always, be Nice to me I’m Delicate*~

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He said he might be gone most of the week. Sam called the day before and all you know is it's something important. He didn't go into detail, just packed a bag and you'd never seen him do that before. But he was also only gone a day or two at a time and never felt the need to tell you about it before now either.

Up until recently you'd tip-toe around each other. Not like you used to with Steve though, worse. Bucky is a lot better at making sure you don't know he's there until it's too late. It felt like you'd never get used to each other, or more likely that you'd never want to. You might've still been secretly hoping that he'd stop caring and go away... after a while you got tired of your own bullshit and realized he's giving off that vibe on purpose. Wordlessly telling you how you should feel about him, not wanting to get too close. You never much liked being told what to do.

It was only about two months before you became a Barnes' expert. You'd sit up at night listening intently for when he'd shower, get in bed, or wake up. He never slept more than five maybe six hours at a time, you'll never understand how he can function like that. You know how he likes his coffee, which angle he holds his cup. How and where he takes off his shoes, how much ice he puts in a drink, the way he likes to cut his toast, and what time he has to do all of it. There's an almost unnerving pattern to him, one that's always been there and you were just unwilling to notice for so long, and you're not sure if he's even aware of it.

You woke up to him already gone. You knew he was leaving but actually being left alone like that unsettled you more than you anticipated, a serious case of Deja vu. You went into your routine like normal, because everything still was, but by the fifth day... you stepped into the front room and got that empty feeling. One you hadn't really had since...

It stopped you for a few seconds longer than you liked and a large knot formed in your stomach. You spent the whole day trying to ignore the feeling but it only got worse. Like a hunger pain but much more vague, crawling through each muscle. You'd catch yourself staring at his room, Bucky's room but also... Steve's. It's the first time you let yourself admit to him fully crossing your mind in over a year.

You laid up in bed, trying to count the metaphorical sheep to no avail. Getting up thinking that a snack or a warm drink will stop the restlessness, you pause in the tiny hallway shared by your bedrooms. The low blue light from the moon outside dustily illuminating the space through a cloudy bathroom window. You stare at the door like any second he's going to ask what you're doing up so late and you can tell him to mind his own business while pouring two cups of tea.

You just wanted to touch the knob; turn it to make sure it still works- that you're still "allowed in there if you want". But stepping inside was too far, an invasion of Bucky's privacy, and you felt it. But you couldn't help yourself. You needed to know.

They were definitely cut from the same cloth. Sparse furnishings and no decorations, save a few very small trinkets he'd held onto from who knows where. There is exactly one row on his bookshelf filled with composition notebooks that were beat to hell and back. Sticky notes lined the edge of most of the pages, so much so that they easily could've been mistaken for feathers on a quick glance. You dare not touch them. Observing someone with a past that checkered is very different to reading into the things they deem worthy of physically writing down.

Where Steve used to leave small drawings and notes Bucky left half empty ink pens and a few well used pairs of gloves. You saunter to the far corner of the room and caress a worn leather jacket hanging precariously on the lowest peg of a coat rack. Doing a slow sweep of the space something in the otherwise barren closet catches your eye. The knot in your stomach that had almost disappeared was back and it brought friends. Your shirt. His shirt. The big one that said BROOKLYN across the front, what you didn't know was your "going away gift." The one you balled up and shoved in the top corner of his closet, at the time hoping you'd never look at it again. You're amazed that it's still here, that Bucky hadn't tossed it out or tried to give it back to you when he moved in.

So you put it on. You're still not sure why but you needed to wear it. To feel it drape over your skin, enveloping you in warmth and that beautiful clean familiar scent you... loved once. It sent a shiver down your spine. The knots in your stomach were gone but now there's one in your throat. You can feel the tears seated right behind your eyes. You sit on the bed holding your face pleading with the water to stay put but it's too late. You miss him. You hate to admit it, but it's true and it always has been. You're angry and you should be, you loved him- you thought he might've loved you. Pulling the hem of the shirt up you wipe the tears off your face and fall into a pillow, trying to calm yourself out of your rage unintentionally drifting into sleep.

*****************************************************

You wake up to the sound of music in the kitchen.

...Ah, now I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her...

You sit up quickly checking your phone: 11:34am. You'd fallen asleep in Bucky's room, in his bed. A blanket had been placed over you and a short scan of the room returned a brown leather duffel bag and set of black boots that weren't present last night. He'd come back early this morning and found you here. You can feel your heart fall straight out of your ass, the void that was left being filled with pure embarrassment. Is he angry? He did tuck you in...

As slowly and quietly as possible you make your way towards the door, poking your head out just enough to assess the situation. You can see his back in the kitchen, he's hovering over the sink. You notice the couch, the spare blanket and pillow from the bathroom closet folded neatly on one of the arm rests, he had to sleep there. The void gets deeper. You pull the door open just enough to slip out of and there's a quiet creak. Steve never did fix that, and you just figured out why.

Bucky didn't turn around but definitely noticed. He steps to the side, now in front of the stove and you here something crack and sizzle. You're not sure what to do here. You can try to apologies and explain but there's no un-embarrassing way out of this one. You fold your arms over your stomach trying to hold all your very delicate pieces together while you attempt to speak up. Finally reaching the bar and fully prepared to say good morning when he quickly sets a hot bowl down in front of you. White rice and a fried egg- runny yolk. You'd make it for breakfast when you'd get up early or couldn't sleep, a friend from school put you on to it. Looks like he's been studying you too. You make eye contact but, just briefly. From what little of the expression you get on his face nothing indicates that he's mad. But he hasn't said anything to the contrary either.

How was your trip? Dangerous I bet-sorry you couldn't come home and sleep in your own goddamn bed! Oh?! AND you made me breakfast!

You feel like a crazy person.

"Comfy last night?"

He's pouring himself some coffee, not yet turning your way. There's no hostility in his voice.

You chuckle nervously.

"Yeah.. sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

He sets a small glass of juice down in front of you. Heavy eye contact this time, but his expression is soft. He didn't ask for an explanation and you really didn't want to give him one. But you still feel guilt looming over you. You take the glass in both hands and nurse it.

He nods at you with a squint, taking a big sip of coffee.

"If I knew that was yours I would've given it back."

The shirt. You forgot you actually put it on. You hold your breath stroking the fabric gently. Contemplating your next words.

"It's not- well, not really."

He raises an eyebrow.

"It was a gift, so I guess it does belong to me..."

Glancing back down at it you can see him realize it says "Brooklyn." His expression changes to a knowing one and it reads like regret but he quickly tries to box it back up for you. This is a new move for him.

There's a much longer pause in conversation than either of you would like before he shifts his weight awkwardly.

"Sorry."

You push glass, now empty back across the bar towards him.

"Don't worry about it-"

You swivel in your seat quickly, taking your bowl and getting up to leave. He steps out from the kitchen after you.

"Thanks for breakfast."

The tears had been welling up and started to pour over as you left. You're still in no state to pretend to be a functioning person right now. Trying to save him from your ugly cry face by escaping but he grabs your shoulder gently suggesting you backwards.

You cover your mouth to hush a sob. You can see your chest start heave but there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. He grabs the bowl setting it down carefully, then you feel a warm metal sensation squeezing the back of your neck.

"You don't have to be over it."

He's been back a couple hours and already knows you're still a mess. You scoff, laughing at yourself really.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

He whispered back quickly, exasperated, but tender.

You sniffle; pathetic.

"That's not how it feels."

"He fucked up. He just doesn't know it."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his embrace.

It's nice to feel another person. A real solid human being; you can't remember the last time you hugged someone like this. You turn in his arms to face him. He looks tired. Not just 'had-to-sleep-on-an-old-couch' tired. Emotionally repressed. Maybe he has actually wanted to talk to you. He pulls you into him, it's just a hug but it almost hurt how sweet this was.

Then a thought came to you, not really sure how, you can't handle more rejection right now; but you kissed him anyway, hard. Like him being gone almost killed you- because it did. He pulls away from you, just a little, reading your face his own expressionless. You search his eyes for any kind of hint as to what's going on inside his mind. You're not ready to admit this was a mistake yet. There's no real way to know how long you stood there like that. You only dare to move after you hear the song change in the background.

Words... thought they just fade away

but hurt... gave them a place to stay

"Do something."

You were sure it was just in your head but it creaked out past your lips in less than a whisper, pleading with him.

He covered your mouth with his, smoothing both hands down your neck to your shoulders gripping them gently, intently. You cling to his waist almost afraid to explore anywhere else, then slowly drag nails along his back. He pulls you back into him, you want to fuse with the warmth radiating off of his body, he bends and you collide onto the floor with a muffled thud. He cradles your head quickly so you don't get hurt but you wouldn't care at this point.

The way you fit into each other is unnerving, like your bodies weren't meant for anybody else. You both scramble to undress him in between breathy wet kisses and he's... magnificent. He pulls off his shirt and you swiftly run fingers from his neck down each arm. The metal one is warm, this surprises you for some reason. You watch as each "muscle" dances at your touch and you catch a small glimpse of something on his face that resembles insecurity... or fear. He shelves it quickly in response to you bucking your hips up to dismiss your underwear.

He buries his face in your neck, warm breaths ghosting your skin. Hooking his hands behind your knees he hoists your legs up around his waist. He bites down gently and you gasp. It's too much. He's everywhere, all at once. The last person to touch you event remotely close to this was-

"...Steve."

It just came out, you almost didn't notice it. Bucky stops, pulling back and away. He scans you, a pitiful, panting mess on the floor. The most vulnerable you've probably ever been and definitely in front of him. He shakes his head slowly once, chest heaving.

"No."

Knots line your stomach once again. He grabs your wrist to hold your arms in place up above your head and presses his forehead against yours.

"Look at me."

You hold eye contact there for a solid minute, you're sure of it. He leans forward delicately dragging teeth against your ear.

"You're gonna keep saying it until you can't forget."

He drops his hips and lines up with your entrance. You feel a thick wash of euphoria from the pressure, throwing your head back as much as possible given the floor. You roll your hips along to his, cradling each other perfectly.

His eyes didn't leave your face until you both feel your legs begin to tremble.

"Oh Bucky."

The only words you can remember.

You feel every stroke hasten and all his muscles tighten each time his name falls from your lips. He pulls your shirt up to your neck looking to spatter kisses and bite marks across your torso. You futilely dig one set of nails into the floor and the other in his shoulder as he hungrily growls into your stomach, cursing, longing for mercy.

"Fuck."

You pull him back up to your face demanding his tongue. You hear the floorboard creek from the pressure of a metal hand, the flesh one surely bruising your hip by now. There's a deep enduring moan from the back of his throat as he finds his release inside you. You gasp at the sensation and you both pant into each other, nothing but a mess on the floor now.

He presses a long, firm kiss into the bridge of your nose then falls gently on his back beside you. You roll your head up to look at his face, whatever it is he's feeling isn't immediately obvious as he stares up at the ceiling. You shift onto your side placing a light, cautious hand on his chest and he glances over at you, reaching to squeeze your thigh reassuringly.

The sky is Navy Blue soon to be baby blue and baby you got nothing but time...

He looks over your face in a deep sigh before retiring his gaze to the ceiling.

"I don't know him... The guy that left you like that."

You watch intently has his jaw clenched, he's never been able to hide that bit very well.

"I don't know what kind of..."

He trails off, clearly upset.

You sigh deeply.

"I was gonna die that night."

He rolls his head back to look at you.

"The day I met him? I had pretty much made up my mind."

You start to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. Almost reminiscent.

"But he found me in the staircase..."

You hate how subtly he did some things. If you weren't lying next to him. There's no way you'd ever be able to tell his breathing had changed.

"Essentially-"

You pick your head up, chin on his sternum.

"He saved my life."

You state matter of factually. You watch his body relax in a short, bitter way.

He rolls his head over just enough to look you in the eyes. You kiss his chest once tenderly before moving to stand up. You extend a hand down for him to grab.

"That isn't good for your back."

"You really think I didn't know?" Part1

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choppedupcactus · 3 years

Text

Ugly brown

PAIRINGS - Taeyong x Depressed!Reader

GENRE - Angst

WARNINGS - Selfharm, depression, malnutrition

WORD COUNT - 1.2k

SUMMARY - your head eats away at your whole being, Taeyong tries to help you through at least one night in your dark apartment. A short story depicting depression, and the ways it eats away at you.

A/N - This was a very dark and weird story to write, but It’s written out of some personal experience, and writing is a good outlet for me, so here we are. I advise you not to read this if you’re easily triggered, or going through an episode yourself. Stay safe, everyone. Sincerely, Livo-a.

Also this is not proof-read, sorry.

Tik

The only sound filling my dark room.

Curtains and blinds had been drawn, letting only the faintest of light hit the floor, and the mess that lay there.

Me included.

My body feeling so heavy against the floor, my arms, limb, I almost couldn’t feel them anymore.

The only thing I could feel was the air filling , and leaving my lungs, keeping my tired body alive. Even though I clearly didn’t want it to.

My head felt empty.

I didn’t feel sad, or angry, or anything…

Nothing. Just nothing.

I slowly turned my head to the left, looking at my arm.

The blood had dried by now, staining my arm in a weird brown color that surely would be hard to wash off.

The scars didn’t hurt though, I couldn’t feel them. I knew that if I touched them, they would. But then again, I had been like this for 2 days now, only occasionally moving to use the bathroom, or cry. But seeing as I was pretty dehydrated by now, I didn’t need to get up. I could just lie here, staring up at the white ceiling.

I was used to having episodes like this, but as the years went by, the got gradually worse, filling me with emptiness.

I hadn’t left my apartment in a week now.

I told myself it was simply to regain composure, even though I knew it was clearly a lie.

I had other plans, or thoughts at least. It wasn’t a play yet.

I just kind of wanted to disappear, slowly, leaving peoples lives, so that once I was truly gone, they wouldn’t hurt as much.

Turning my head to the right, I saw the razorblades that still laid in my hand, the ugly brown color staining that too.

I light smile suddenly played on my lips, proud of the punishment I had given myself.

I knew how fucked up it was, to be thinking that way, but I couldn’t help it. I liked it so much. It was the only thing that made me feel something. Even if that something was pain.

My head rolled back to it’s original place, staring up at the ceiling.

Not eating really did make you lightheaded.

The few times I had tried to stand up, my blood pressure had dropped significantly, almost making me faint.

Hence why I avoided moving now, I didn’t care anymore, I kind of wanted to wither away anyway.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The noise quickly drew me from my destructive thoughts.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

”Y/N! Open up the fucking door!”

My eyes drifted towards the door, the tears running down my temples, a soft sigh leaving my lips.

The door burst open, I knew I hadn’t locked it in the first place. If it was because I wanted to be murdered, or that I secretly wanted someone to find me, was something I couldn’t quite answer.

I heard rumbling through my apartment, before my bedroom door finally burst opened.

”Jesus fucki-

Y/N, what the fuck have you done..?”

His voice trembled, and I could feel his eyes observing my frail form, even though I was too tired to actually look.

The first thing I felt him do was to take the blade from me, throwing it into a distant corner while his other hand quickly took mine, making sure I hadn’t hurt myself in more places than the ones he could see.

Taeyong slid his hand under my head, supporting it, trying to get me to sit up.

Supporting my back against the bed, my body just sat there, limbly.

I rose my head slowly to look him in the eye, tears still streaming down my already stained cheeks.

I soft, heartbreaking smile placed itself on my lips as finally got to see his entire face.

”Hi Yongie..” I whispered. My voice raspy and tired.

”Yuna I’ve called you a million times, I called your friends- I even called your mom!” His voice slowly breaking.

”Why won’t you let me help you? Why do I always end up finding you like this?” He continued as his eyes traveled down my malnourished body and bloody limbs.

I choked out a laugh as my tears came down faster. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was so gone, but too scared to do anything but laugh.

I couldn’t find the courage to meet his eyes so I kept my head lowered, afraid of feeling anything other than emptiness.

His eyes were so filled with worry and sadness, like his entire world just broke into pieces, and I couldn’t find the strength to see that.

Still, I placed my hands on his cheeks, looking up slightly. Not enough to meet his eyes, but enough to see the tears that fell from them. A broken smile plastered on my face while my own tears streamed down my face.

”Why are you sad, Yongie? I’m fine, haha.. ha..” More of my rough laughter escaped my sore throat.

Yet, he just looked at me, like I was broken.

Maybe I was.

He slid an arm around my waist, holding my hand with the other.

”Come here, we need to clean you up”

His voice was weak, on the verge of breaking, as he helped me to a standing position.

Standing up felt like the hardest thing in the world at that moment, with zero energy in my system and on the verge of fainting.

But His hands kept me steady as he guided me towards the bathroom.

Leading me towards the bathtub, and positioning me on a small stool beside the tub.

My body was nothing he hadn’t seen before, so helping me undress wasn’t a big deal to him, and I certainly didn’t have the energy to care.

But as I sat there, with only underwear left, his tears came back.

”What have you done to yourself…” He whispered, probably more to himself than me.

The combined sight of my scars and malnourished body breaking the little composure he had gained.

Still, he sat me down in the bathtub, taking the shower head and some soap, carefully cleaning my broken body.

As he sat behind me, washing my hair, I heard his strained sobs, and more and more guilt swelled up in my head.

He dried me off, dressed me, fed me what little I had in my apartment and finally led me towards my bed.

I sat down, and finally met his gaze for the first time that night.

”I’m so sorry, Taeyong. I’m so, so sorry.” I choked out, the guilt finally overpowering my senses.

And before I could say anything else, he wrapped me in his embrace, putting my face in his neck, stroking the back of my head.

”Don’t you dare apologize to me. Just rest for now, okay?…

I love you”

He carefully laid me down, wrapping me in the covers before getting in beside me. Putting my head on his shoulder, still stroking my hair ever so softly.

”Just let me help you… Okay? Let me help you.”

His soft words was more than enough to help my heavy heart rest. The last tear rolling down my cheek as I whispered my last words for the night.

”Will you leave me? After all this? Will you leave?”

”No. Not ever. Not in a million years.”

#taeyong #nct #nct imagines #nct angst #angst #taeyong angst #nct 127 #nct u #taeyong drabbles #nct drabbles #taeyong imagines

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sparkles-and-trash · 4 years

Text

South Park Main 5, Headcanons Masterpost ~

Stan Marsh

Looks:

hair is actually nice and somewhat floppy naturally, but because he wears a hat most of the time, it’s usually flat and a little greasy kshdhsd

hair is that blue-ish black color

eyes is piercing ice blue

skin is light, kind porcelain like, but he also tans really fast?

soft sweaters are the only thing he’ll wear from early autumn to late spring

in summer he’ll literally only wear band shirts and flannels lol

Personality and General Trivia:

totally cares more for animals than most people let’s be real

sometimes he struggles with seeing things from others point of view and ha can come across as a little self centered

he is aware of it tho and tries to be better at it

his instagram is filled with Sparky haha

let’s Sparky sleep in his bed every single night even tho Sharon tells him not to

likes reading and writing, has a tiny obsession with dark themes and Lovecraftian stuff

he and Kenny volunteers at the local pet shelter and homeless shelter together

the pet shelter was Stan’s idea, and the homeless shelter was Kenny’s

wants to be edgy but is really just very soft

“Kyle said...”

believes everything Kyle tells him lol

enjoys video games a lot, prefers single player, story based ones tho

also still enjoys boardgames a lot, and when the big group isn’t up for hit, he, Tweek, Jimmy, Butters and Cartman groups together to nerd it out

has clinical depression, but is managing it with help of a therapist, his mom and friends

sometimes things gets pretty dark, but he is getting better at reaching out and asking for help in those times

Friendships:

like I mentioned above, he struggles a bit with seeing things for other’s point of view

but he is aware of his flaws and is trying to be better

can get a little bit caught up in his own drama, but listens when his friends tells him he needs to get over himself

will always stand up for his friends, especially if they’re not there to do it themselves

when he starts getting closer with Butters in early high school he gets really upset when he realizes how much he gets shit-talked

enjoys spending time with his friends individually, probably the most of the group, and takes initiative to do so a lot

which is very important to Kenny, since he tends to feel a little overlooked sometimes, and it makes their friendship really strong

same with Butters, except Butters doesn’t usually doesn’t mind mainly being in a group, but the first few times and Stan hangs out alone it’s obvious he really appreciates it

Family:

daddy issues

sorry I don’t make the rules lol

has a decent relationship with Sharon tho

she’s a good mom

and he wants to be a good son

Shelly is still kinda angry and scary

she keeps the “only I can beat you up bro” attitude and there is secretly mutual respect there

but we don’t talk about that!!!

Ships and relationships:

okay so my main ships for him are stutters (Butters), stenny (Kenny) and Style (Kyle)

my fav is stutters tho

I usually head canon him as bi or pan, but as with everyone in SP, I’m open to different interpretations if different Au’s and stories!

I just really like the idea of them learning to balance facing their issues AND celebrate the good things in life together

I def think he can be a bit insecure in relationships, struggling with feeling like he’s not enough, and would need a partner that naturally will be affirming and positive

that’s not to say he’s super needy or clingy, he’s just a bit insecure

but I really think he would truly be a good partner

he’s caring, kind and very appreciative

which is again why I really like him with Butters offh

Kenny McCormick

Looks:

sandy blonde hair that’s always messy and floppy/softly curled

teeth is kind of crooked due to lack of funds for braces

his front teeth are kinda big and has a significant gap

lots and lots of freckles man

all over his face, shoulders, back, hands and arms

tans fast

I actually really like him with brown eyes? like, soulful deep brown eyes

but also very, very clear blue ones, like almost unnatural (yes that’s a mysterious thing)

medium tall

wears his hoodies, usually with the hood up, no matter if it’s freezing or a heatwave

not conventionally attractive, but charming looking lol

likes to wear some eyeliner every now and then

and nail polish, but it’s like super clumsily put on and always chipped

Personality and General Trivia:

falls asleep in class a lot, but always seems to know the answer if the teacher asks him something

also has decent grades

I think he’s way smarter than he gives himself credit for, both socially and school wise

the therapist of the groups

actually, the therapist of the whole school

knows a lot of secrets due to this, but he always, ALWAYS keeps them

I see him as very friendly and approachable, but terribly hard to get close with

lots and lots of walls, man

very much an observer type?

quietly stays in the background if that’s an option

but if he is talked too, or feels like he has something to really contribute to in a conversation he’ll jump in and be comfortable talking and taking up space if he is with friends or people he knows

if not, he’ll just stay in the background with that.... look on his face that just makes you know he knows more than he says

works at Tweek’s parents coffee shop, is kinda close with Tweek because of this

zones out a lot

“…what?”

can fall asleep anywhere

Friendships:

is pretty close friends with Butters!

Butters used to have a little crush on him, but Kenny didn’t find out until years later lol

he also has a lot of patience with Cartman compared to the others

which is why Cartman actually cares when Kenny sets him in his place

likes learning new things, and does that with Kyle a lot!

both school and homework stuff, and things like cooking and other homey stuff, the two of them really bond with this

him and Stan volunteer together, and I already mentioned, and that time means a lot to Kenny

since he works with Tweek, the two of them are pretty close and good friends

is the one of the main boys who gets along the best with Craig and those guys

actually hangs out with them from time to time, so does Butters

it low-key drives the others crazy

Family:

I often like to think his parents would keep having these bursts where they try to get their shit together?

and it’s slow, and one step back and two backwards, but the fact that they’re trying at all means a lot to the kids after years of them... not

I can also see Kevin stepping up and taking more charge, Kevin get’s way too little love in this fandom!

Kenny usually never fights with his sibs

but when he does it’s with Karen, usually because he’s worried about her and it’s nor pretty

none of them can stay mad at each other for long tho

Kevin trying to be all “big brother” and kinda failing because he is chaotic, but he really wants to do right and Karen and Kenny knows that and appreciates it

Ships and relationships:

ohhh kay here we go, unpopular opinions ahead!

first, my main Kenny ships are Tokenny (Token x Kenny) and Stenny

rn Tokenny is my main, I love the potential dynamics, both with their personalties and backgrounds and families

I tend to head canon him as pan or bisexual, and demiromatic

I know the demiromantic part is... controversial, at best

but hear me out!

I see him being very comfortable with discussing sexual stuff, and being attracted to someone physically is never something he feels awkward or bad about

but when it comes to more emotional connections, he is way more awkward and fumbling

for those who doesn’t know, a demiromatic person (like myself! surprise!) won’t have crushes or romantic feelings for someone they don’t already have some form of emotional bond with! We can still feel sexual attraction tho, and some of us are comfortable with casual sexual encounters (like me!) and others are not, and both are very valid!

I usually have two ways of writing him

either him being comfortable having casual sexual interactions, but struggling with the romantic aspect and having to figure out how this works for him

him having some trauma related to debating sexually very early, thinking he was all ready and it was just sex, but getting his emotions caught up in it and being very heartbroken and confused, and therefore having issues with being intimate with people for a while

I mix them up depending on the story, but the first one is usually my go-to!

Kyle Broflovski

Looks:

he still covers his hair a lot, either with hats or hoods?

because I really see him being insecure about it

it’s a medium sort of red, and like, really curly and fluffy

not frizzy, big like... big

I usually give him green eyes, but I also could see him with a light brown or hazel!

some light freckles on his face that only really shows up if he’s spent time in the sun

pretty tall, kind of lanky

d i m p l e s

Personality and General Trivia:

big nerd energy

in every way, board games, video games, loves school, like genuinely, enjoys studying for tests, loves fantasy books, the longer and more complicated the better

co-captain of the debate team with Wendy

is good with arguments unless he gets too passionate on the subject, or if someone knows his weak points and uses them to tick him off

it’s usually Cartman

his mom wants him to go to an Ivy League but honestly he just wants to go to the same one in Denver as Stan, Butters and Cartman are planning on, and now that Kenny is also considering it he seriously think he’ll die if all his friends go to the same college without him

he struggles with FOMO, which is kind of an issue since he’s a busy guy, and some of his friends are not lol

if any one of these kids become a jock, it’s def Kyle with his basketball change my mind-

but not like, a letterman wearing fuckboy type of jock, but like, is obsessed with his sport and his team and works really hard to do well type of jock

Friendships:

very loyal

he and Stan walks Sparky together at least twice a week, just to be sure they’re always caught up with each other even when they’re busy with school, sports and dating

yeah they’re still super best friends

when they started high school he got closer to Wendy as she’s also on the debate team, in all of his AP classes and they share a lot of the same interests

they’re still good friends, but nothing more

the first time Cartman got really drunk was at a party freshman year, and at the time everyone was pretty fed up with him, and he ended up crying and Kyle found him, and Cartman thinks Kyle doesn’t remember, but he does

that was the first night Kyle really kinda understood why Cartman was the way he was, and even though he still thinks he’s a dick at times, he tries to remember everyone have a story, and to give people time

but he often gets too riled up to remember that lol

good pals with Jimmy, they share a lot of interests in fantasy stuff and have the same humor

he also start to go along well with Craig when they are around middle school age, but they’re both kinda too stubborn to admit they’re friends until a year later lol

Family:

even tho Sheila is pretty overbearing and can be too much, he is a mommy’s boy deep down

tense relationship with his dad

enjoys cooking, so that’s where he spends a lot of time with his mom!

tries his best to keep up with Ike and his life

sometimes he is a tad cringy when doing so, but Ike appreciates the gesture

Ike is pretty confident and strong in himself so he doesn’t care if Kyle is a bit awkward lol

the type of brothers who genuinely enjoys spending time together

Ships and relationships:

I like Style, Kyman, K2 and Kyvid!

I think he’d be a late bloomer when it comes to love and dating

struggles with opening up and letting himself feel these things

I often think of him as biromantic asexual, but I’m not always set on it!

he’d enjoy traditional dinner and a movie type of dates a lot, such a nerd

Eric Cartman

Looks:

keeps his hair cut pretty short and styled

has heterochromia iridium (different colored eyes), one blue and one brown

also he has a real nice smile when it’s a genuine one

which is rare but like

it happens

is kinda insecure about his weight and tries to compensate with always having the newest stuff and pretending not to care

sometimes tries to diet in secret

he isn’t huge anymore, but is still sort of broad, and isn’t skinny, but like..

kinda bulky, if he wears the right type of clothes it’s hard to see if he’s chubby or buff

but he is def chubby

Personality and General Trivia:

spends way to much time on reddit arguing with randoms

angry gamer, will call you a slur on voice chat

after almost getting dropped by his friends in middle school he tries a little harder to be a more decent person

still an asshole at heart, but like, an asshole who sometimes cares about some people

always tells people that’s he’s seen that meme before, even when he hasn’t

nothing is ever his fault and the only ones who can get him to admit he’s wrong are Kenny and, very, very rarely, Kyle

he wears supreme hoodies for a full year of High School and stands in line all night for the new ones and never shuts up about how he is the first in South Park to have the new stuff

Kenny finds it hilarious to buy the fake supreme stickers and put then on his own worn out hoodies

Kyle makes it his main goal in life to put things (everything from used gym socks to old food he finds in his locker) in Cartmans hoods and see how long it takes for him to notice

can’t handle alcohol, is constantly being teased for it

sloppy drunk lol

one of the main reasons the other bothers with Cartman trough middle school, when he is at his worst, is because of his big basement, the old Coon Lair, who got a big renovation around 7th grade and is an awesome, private hangout spot with a big TV and wifi and gaming systems

Friendships:

constantly says he hates his friends but would die if everyone left him

is secretly terribly jealous of Kyle, both his closeness to Stan, his basketball skills, his grades and his family

but they had that thing in Freshman year when Kyle found him drunk, alone and sad, and Cartman himself barely remembers it, and doesn’t think Kyle does because he never mentioned it

but he does

so much tension there, but also co-dependency

sees Kenny and Butters as his best friends, and knows deep down neither of them feel that way about him and it secretly kills him

is in the same board game group with Stan

is low-key terrified of Tweek lol

Family:

big mommy issues

but also very protective of her

I really enjoy the AU/headcanon that Liane marries Clyde’s dad

it’s not like, the only version I like, but I put it in as many au’s and works of mine as I can

I def think both boys would be mortified right away

but Clyde comes around first, because he really wants a brother, even if that brother have to be Cartman

Cartman would never admit it, but after some time he really starts to see Clyde as a brother and genuinely cares for him

Ships and relationships:

I mainly see Cartman as gay

sometimes I start of AU’s and stories with him not being out to himself or anyone else tho, I think that whole journey for him will be very interesting and help him grow as a person

I def think he’d have a few girlfriends before he comes out tho?

he can be very charming when he wants too yanno

my only Cartman ship is kyman atm, but I’m def open to explore more of

Leopold Butters Stotch

Looks:

I really really really like T A L L Butters???

like tall and gangly and adorable

I know it’s very popular to head canon that he bleaches his hair, but I like to think he has very light blond air naturally!

keeps it short on the sides and longer on top, with cute ass curls

soft sky blue eyes

also dyes his bangs light blue in high school!!

Pete the goth helps him because he is a pro of dying bangs

I like to think he’d be into pastel grunge, and keep his love for Hello Kitty and Sanrio etc, but still be a bit more... edgy?

Personality and General Trivia:

one of those people who’s friendly with almost everyone

but that doesn’t mean he’s friends with them, yanno?

gets drunk from one wine cooler

loves the theater and is in the drama club, but likes to be behind the stage, not on it

wants to be a director one day

watches Netflix on his phone every single time he has any time to spare, because he’s always binging a show

is usually pretty positive and kind, gives people the benefit of the doubt

but can be very stubborn, and if he has decided he dislikes or doesn’t trust someone, it’s almost impossible to change his mind

Friendships:

Butters put up with Cartman for so long because he genuinely thinks he can be fun when he’s not horrible, and he really tries his best to believe in people

he was also the first one to forgive him after the others cut him off

a very loyal and fun friend

takes a lot of initiative to do stuff, and loves hosting movie nights

thinks of these boys as his closest friends, but is also real close to Wendy, Bebe, Jimmy and Tweek

Family:

I just hate Stephen so much you guys

so tbh I usually like to just... have Linda leave him, or straight up kill him off oops

I know Linda is terrible too, I do, but I think she could possibly have a moment of realization if something happens like Butters potentially being taken away?

idk I’m not gonna go too deep into this, I know it’s such a heavy topic and I don’t wanna seem like I just ignore it, but I personally don’t usually include Stephen directly in my stories, and this is why, I hope y’all understand and respect that!

Ships and relationships:

my main Butters ship is Stutters (Stan x Butters)

I mentioned a lot why in Stan’s headcanons?

but idk, I just really think they’d balance each other well, and could have a very interesting and cute relationship!

I usually headcanons him as pan or gay, and genderqueer, but I’m open for other interpretations too!

he does date a little bit, but have never been in a real relationship and isn’t stressing about it!

he did have a pretty huge crush on (a very unaware) Kenny during middle school, but then they started hanging out a lot more and became really close and Butters didn’t really bring it much thought?

that’s until Cartman gets jealous and throws out a “what are you guys dating and fucking and being gay huh???” and Butters mind immediately goes to “omg ew no he’s like my brother!”

aaand that’s how Butters realized he was over his crush

they two of them stay close friends tho, Kenny makes Butters laugh and helps him be more sure of himself and Butters helps Kenny remember that they’re still just kids and should have fun and be good

283 notes · View notes

nearly-theyre · 4 years

Text

kamishin fic recs!!!!!

for my kamishin gc on twitter - go give these amazing authors some love!

“paging dr. oblivious” (G) by dreamtowns

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18770095

Warnings: none

Hitoshi, slowly, delicately, puts his fork down and squints. Denki regrets maintaining eye contact, but, also, he doesn’t because damn, Hitoshi has pretty eyes – and focus, Denki, focus! “I’m sorry,” Hitoshi starts, quietly, almost threateningly, and tilts his head. “Would you like to repeat that? People think we’re what?”

“Pining,” Denki bursts out, almost too loud in the hospital gardens, and then he hunches forward and continues much more quietly, but no less heatedly: “They think we’re,” he swallows and finishes, almost lamely, “pining.”

Hitoshi says nothing. Waits.

“They have a betting pool,” Denki practically wails.

(or: the entire hospital staff has a betting pool on when Denki, resident trauma specialist, and Hitoshi, the neuropsychologist, will start dating.

The punchline is that they are married.)

“don’t think twice” (G) by dreamtowns

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723295

Warnings: none

What does it take to break the internet?

A slip of the tongue, apparently.

“caught in my own web” (T) by anxioussailorsoldier

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19037812

Warnings: none

Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.

“Pickup Lines for the Soul” (T) by MustardSoup

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925678

Warnings: none

Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has.

“I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe.

Denki laughs.

“Oh no.” His mother says, watching him.

“Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.

“amusing observations” (G) by fromthemoon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423105

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

“Cats. Hm. Yeah.” Kirishima watches as Denki turns around and continues humming along to the song. He glances over to Shinsou and back at Denki. He’ll have to test if it’s really the cats the boy comes back for, or if it’s something other than that.

Something tells him it’s not the cats.

for shinkami week 2019

“Sleepy Nightlight” (T) by PinkGreens

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869280/chapters/369709

Warnings: none

Hitoshi loses his nightlight, but finds another.

“Systems of Confession” (NR) by soybean-fics (mischuis)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15995414

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

"You're totally asking me out on a date." Kaminari grinned, and Shinsou felt his face heat up.

"Do you want to go or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. On our date."

------

Shinsou takes Kaminari out on a totally-not-a-date at the aquarium. Somehow, he can't stare at the fish when he can watch his adorable blond definitely not-crush being unfairly adorable at everything.

“Your Name In Paper” (G) by xemrox (Roquel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355292

Warnings: none

There are two people in this world who orbit at the opposite ends of Denki's spectrum of love and he never thought he would have them sitting at the same table at the same time.

“How Many Cats Is Too Many?” (T) by TheSpaceAceTM

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418521

Warnings: none

Hitoshi and Denki live together, and progressively get more and more additions to the family.

ShinKami Week 2019!

“Start Digging” (T) by IiIia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050866

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

Kaminari and Shinsou are now dating and it is time for the customary Bakusquad Shovel Talks. Shinsou’s not worried.

“Not-So Surprise Party” (G) by MintIceTea

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442827

Warnings: none

Hitoshi loves his boyfriend, even if he’s terrible at keeping secrets.

But then again, so is Hitoshi’s family.

[Erasermic Week '19, Day 9: Celebrate]

“party favour” (T) by pixiegold

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16166816

Warnings: none

Another soulmate AU where the first words they say to you are etched onto your skin.

Shinsou isn't particularly thrilled by the idea.

“Not Broken, but a Little Bent” (NR) by FriendlessAnimeLover

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748674

Warnings: none

Kaminari Denki ends up leaving the hero course after a certain incident takes place. He instead joins the general studies students, where an unlikely ally reaches out to him, not leaving him alone when everyone else is. His overwhelming guilt and sadness is slowly tamed by general studies student Shinsou. But, even if Denki can find a new path in general studies with Shinsou, he can't help but think of those he left behind.

Bakugo and Kirishima are devastated by the loss of Kaminari. Bakugo's furious that Kaminari left, and Kirishima's...well...broken by the loss of his best friend. How can they call themselves heroes when they couldn't help their friend when he was at his lowest point?

Aizawa has a plan. Before Kaminari left, he struck a deal with him. Four weeks. If after four weeks Kaminari wants to come back, Aizawa will welcome him back. If he wants to stay, then he can never return to the hero course again. Aizawa's confident in his knowledge about his students, and he understands that what Kaminari needs is time. He has certain forces in play behind his actions...after all, it can't be a coincidence that Kaminari just happened to end up in the same class as Hitoshi.

“Thus With a Kiss, I die” (T) by DomineeringScarves

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15993539/chapters/37314002

Warnings: none

Kaminari finds himself head over heels for the newest addition to their class, Shinsou Hitoshi. Normally the flirty blonde would just present himself with open arms but there's a major problem with his infatuation. There's unspoken rules in 1-A and Kaminari is part of the Bakusquad...whereas Shinsou is a part of the Dekusquad. The two can't be together. It's just not possible. There's no way Bakugou would ever allow one of his extras to date Deku's friend.

There's only one thing left to do, give up and move on. Too bad Kaminari can't seem to escape Shinsou.

Aka the fic where Kaminari is Romeo and Shinsou is Juliet and they have to secretly date so their squads don't fall into an all out war.

“No More Fragments” (M) by Ischemia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16057748/chapters/37489790

Warnings: none

Shinsou Hitoshi has finally gotten his wish and is now officially a part of Class 1-A. It was everything he'd wanted, but all of these obstacles keep finding him.

Sometimes this means a cute blonde boy he doesn't know how to talk to and other times it means possibly losing the trust of the class he so badly wants to be a part of.

Cue awkward dates, Shinsou having the best dads in the world, and learning what friendship means.

“Eventuality” (T) by KikaTouka

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895002/chapters/37042446

Warnings: none

Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.

“As You Wish” (T) by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301087

Warnings: none

“Be sure to wake Sleeping Beauty with a kiss,” Kirishima said with a knowing grin. Hitoshi considered stabbing the captain, but that would just get him on Commander Bakugou’s bad side, and it would only break his blade because it was Kirishima and Hitoshi was pretty sure no normal weapon could hurt him.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Hitoshi said, pointedly adjusting the position of the blades concealed at his wrists while holding Kirishima’s gaze. “You know I would never do such a thing.”

“Kaminari’s Declassified Coming Out Survival Guide” (T) by MustardSoup

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17204222/chapters/40453802

Warnings: none

Local disaster bi, Kaminari Denki, is yanked right out of the questioning stage of his life and now has to navigate the process of coming out.

He decides to do it step-by-step, with each step taking more courage than the last.

And if coming out equates to slaying the dragon, then perhaps by the end of this he'll get the guy, too.

“Kiss Me Through The Screen” (M) by Ischemia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289734/chapters/40664117

Warnings: none

Shinsou remembers when he first saw the ad for Ch4rgeb0lt’s services. He was just messing around online when a pop-up appeared with his smiling face, one eye winking and the other brightly flashing with happiness.

“Lonely? Tired of coming home to an empty apartment? Can’t find anyone to listen to your problems? Say no more! For the low cost of $10 per stream, you can have all the company and love you ever wanted. Get a best friend for the best price!”

His first reaction was, “what kind of depressing loser needs to buy a boyfriend?” before he looked around at his empty home and realized he might be that depressing loser.

“My Best Mistake” (T) by SammyD

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374055

Warnings: Major Character Death

Shinsou takes a secret to his grave

“How to save a life” (T) by anxioussailorsoldier

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17379239

Warnings: none

Shinsou doesn't expect to find Kaminari on the roof of UA.

“Follow You (Like Morning Follows Night)” (T) by Anonymouspotato

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994013

Warnings: none

When Shinsou finally found Kaminari, he was on the roof of the dorms, leaning against the railing. He almost didn’t want to interrupt him. But he had a job to do.

~~~~~~~~~~

Based on the song ‘Like Morning Follows Night’ from the RWBY soundtrack, but you don’t need to know anything about that show or that song to read

“geyser.” (G) by fuckendeavor666

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934377

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

shinsou hitoshi has had a hard life. though, now, he is not as alone as he once was.

“If I’m The Thunder You’re The Lightning” (NR) by Taintedazure

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21212525

Warnings: none, creator chose not to use archive warnings

Kaminari has always been a chill kind of guy. Always taking it in stride and acting a little weird to make his friends laugh. His entire world gets turned upside down when he finds out who his soulmate is.

“Thus With You, I Smile” (T) by Kawayls

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546096

Warnings: none

A bunch of ShinKami centered One Shots, that are set up in the same universe. Each one can be read as an individual work, though I order them chronologically.

“Nightmares” (NR) by Elux

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16801231

Warnings: none

Shinsou Hitoshi wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.

“BakuSquad Initiation” (G) by PoorUnfortunateSoul

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652948

Warnings: none

Shinsou is initiated into the Bakusquad, per Kaminari's request.

[Now with fanart!]

__________

Shinsou Week 2019 - Day 6 - Blanket Forts

“You Seem Familiar” (G) by PoorUnfortunateSoul

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21673501

Warnings: none

“You have an affinity for Black Magic?” he asks, sounding unbelieving.

“Yeah!” Denki says, and it feels so surreal to argue for it, instead of promising that he doesn’t. “When I was younger I figured out that Black Magic just sort of feels, I dunno, alive? To me? I guess? I don’t really know how else to explain it, it’s a little electrifying almost. I dunno. But, when you look at me, I get the same feeling? So that’s why I thought you had an affinity for it, I’m sorry if I-”

“I do,” Shinsou cuts him off. “I’ve known since I was six. I just - can’t feel it on you, like you do me.”

Denki feels himself deflate immediately. Is this one of those unrequited soulmate things? It’d be just his luck, honestly.

_________

Shinsou Bowl Week Day 7: AU

“It Sucks, Really” (G) by Kawayls

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465996

Warnings: none

Kaminari can't sleep at nights because of stomach aches and burdening thoughts. Shinsou is a worried boyfriend. Both are dorks in love and have no idea what are they supposed to do with the rising problem.

“Holy Shi- YoUrE gAy??” (NR) by seizethosegays

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780742

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnins

Holiday, fight, blood, Eri, hair clips, aizawa

“Fragile Lightning” (G) by Treesha

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863329

Warnings: none

With Denki's quirk causing rapid deterioration of his memories, Hitoshi struggles with finding a way to help him.

“baby let me ride your wave” (NR) by beelue

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893185

Warnings: none

Kaminari Denki's days are filled with summer sun, laughing with his friends, and occasionally saving lives. He knew he was Bisexual- He had since he rescued a (smoking hot) guy from drowning and two seconds later asked for his number.

But he truly realized he was a disaster after seeing Shinsou Hitoshi for the first time.

title - wave by blanks

“Blamed” (T) by coldandhotsoba

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644668

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.

“Love Is A Strange Potion Ingredient” (NR) by soybean-fics (mischuis)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609040

Warnings: none

Shinsou Hitoshi is a local potion brewer. Kaminari Denki is a witch.

And, in Shinsou's opinion, a witch with a really cute smile. Wait. Is this a crush? Fuck.

Alternatively: The One Where Shinsou Falls Head Over Heels For The Witch Who Visits His Brewery Every Day.

“The Best-Laid Plans of Shinsou Hitoshi” (T) by aces_low

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052008

Warnings: none

Kaminari has a habit of ruining Shinsou's plans.

“Lighting Scars” (T) by Present-Mics-scream (write_your_way_out)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720768

Warnings: none

It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things.

Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.

“Mysterious as the dark side of the moon” (T) by beetime

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968039

Warnings: none

“I wasn’t attacking you then,” he responded, cracking his neck from side to side like he always did when they restarted. Aizawa moved his feet back into stance. “I noticed this time when you gave me that look you do when I do something wrong.”

Aizawa blinked. He knew exactly the angle the kid was playing at, but it didn’t stop him from being the least bit curious. He narrowed his eyes, “What look?”

Shinsou shrugged but there was an edge to his mouth that Aizawa had come to recognize as a smirk, “Eh. Already forgot it. Guess I’ll tell you next time,” he matched Aizawa’s stance, “though there won’t be one.”

✦

aizawa continues training shinsou

“Fear Is Just Your Mind Being A Bitch” (NR) by MinzeySparkleIsPerfect8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965337

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings, none

Fear is something that your mind makes up. You get scared thanks to your brain. Phobias can easily be overcome.

But what can you do when a phobia gets the best of you and brings you down?

“Sleeping Guitarist” (G) by Momjeansdeku

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19950076

Warnings: none

Needless to say, Kaminari never thought he’d find love at a Sleeping Guitarist concert.

He’s glad he did.

AU where Shinsou Hitoshi is a fucking rockstar.

“One Day, Maybe…” (T) by eelora

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20874689

Warnings: none

… he'll finally propose.

[Or, how Shinsou spends three months documenting his proposal.]

“Obliviously in Like” (T) by BadonKaDank

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562731/chapters/48812711

Warnings: none

Alternate title:

5 times the Kaminari and Shinsou were oblivious to their feelings for one another and 1 time they weren’t because communication is a thing that for some reason they didn’t try all the other times before???

OR (take your pick)

5 Times Azaiwa and Mic told the boys to COMMUNICATE their feelings and 1 time they actually did!!

“Protect You” (G) by IcyHotHeart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20185825

Warnings: none

Denki has a nightmare, but luckily, his boyfriend is more than happy to calm him down.

“Debunked Nightmare” (G) by MinzeySparkleIsPerfect8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20909432

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings, none

After waking up at 3:27 from a horrible nightmare, Denki is unable to sleep and searches the dorms to find if his friends and boyfriend were safe.

Thankfully, Aizawa steps in and makes sure that Denki is able to feel more comfortable before bringing Hitoshi to help more than he can.

“1,000 watt smiles” (T) by All_time_low3st

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22195747

Warnings: none

A prompt I forgot to actually post (oops)

For prompt: kamishin- an unexpected twisted ankle leads to one being piggybacked to Recovery Girl’s office across campus. Everyone takes photos of the event because (1) it’s cute as hell (“they look just like a shoujo couple!”) and (2) “damn I didn’t know denki could lift bro!” (Basically, all the blushes ensure)

“Brain Damage” (T) by Kawayls

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20325559/chapters/48190303

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

This is supposed to be the best day ever, or so Shinsou is trying to do. It isn't his fault that villains never rest; it also isn't his fault that electricity is a dangerous game and that karma is a bitch.

“More Than Alone” (G) by Ischemia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22061683

Warnings: none

Kaminari is determined to make sure Shinsou has a fun New Years, despite his desire to be by himself.

They both win.

“Nobody Plans A Murder Out Loud” (NR) by HeyItsHoot

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20530805

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings, none

Shinsou isn't jealous, what are you even talking about? No, Jirou, he is not. How dare you.

“Electric Connection” (G) by Onlymostydead

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012375

Warnings: none

Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy.

And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep.

But, thankfully, he has good friends.

“Mistlet-Oh?” (G) by AbithaLynDrankonclaw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21759316

Warnings: none

"I think we're in a stable enough place to adopt one, if you'd like."

Hitoshi's heart stops.

Denki brightens and leans down to kiss his forehead.

"Merry Christmas, 'Toshi.”

(aka it’s christmas so Denki lets Hitoshi adopt a cat and accidentally makes him cry)

“‘Studying’” (T) by emmyrox22

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21744931

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made

“electrify my heart” (T) by hypocentres

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21727036

Warnings: none

Shinsou, who has monochromatic vision, doesn’t need to see the color yellow to know it’s his favorite.

“Of Telephone Calls and Teacher’s Pets” (G) by BigDangoFamily

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906928

Warnings: none

“You know I love you, dude, right?”

It takes a few seconds for Kaminari’s words to pierce the sleep-thick veil surrounding Shinsou’s brain. When Shinsou finally does register what Kaminari is saying, he feels an immediate desire to hang up and go back to sleep. As it is, he can already sense a headache starting to form. Biting back a groan, Shinsou rubs his bleary eyes in an effort to keep them open.

“What did you do this time,” Shinsou replies, his voice lacking any sort of inflection.

OR: Shinsou answers Kaminari's phone call and immediately regrets it.

“I don’t care if the world knows (what my secrets are)” (G) by greatcloudninja

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21888871

Warnings: none

The first time Hitoshi came to the mortal world, he was amazed by how bright it was.

Hizashi, the god of new life, always left for part of the year; only occasionally popping back down to the underworld to visit with Hitoshi and his husband, Shouta, god of the dead. Every year, Hitoshi asked if he could go to the mortal world with his papa, and every year Hizashi told him, “Maybe when you’re a little older.”

Finally, after twenty years of asking, Hizashi replied, “I think you’re big enough.”

Or, godling Hitoshi visits the mortal world, falls in love with a human musician, and learns that sometimes, people really are what they appear to be on the surface.

“An Insomniac’s Dilemma” (G) by Toboe1087

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21957589

Warnings: none

Shinsou never thought that he'd find his soulmate. After all, how was an insomniac supposed to find their partner when their only hints come to them through dreams?

“maybe planning dates isn’t your calling, bro” (G) by meiishu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22440232

Warnings: none

Kaminari presses his lips into a thin line. “Sero, you’re missing the bigger issue here.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sero leans forward a bit. “What’s up, bro?”

“So I asked him out to dinner and he said yes but he gave me this weird look when I told him where I was taking him.”

or: kaminari the chaotic dumbass asks the hot vampire from his intro to wolf culture class out on a date to olive garden.

“Irrationality and Comfort” (G) by MinzeySparklesIsPerfect8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392550

Warnings: none

After settling into 1-A, people don't seem to notice how Eri suddenly began growing fearful of the boy with a certain lightning bolt in his hair.

But the said boy does notice.

Eri grows afraid of Denki Kaminari out of fear of that one Shie Hassaikai member.

“Much To Learn” (G) by Rusty_schreech

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003151

Warnings: none

Kaminari Denki and Shinsou Hitoshi need some advice from their favorite teachers.

Inspired by all the "Erasermic 2.0" talk surrounding Shinkami!

“welcome to the world little one.” (NR) by baby345

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22326472

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

The day Denki water breaks his at his parents-in-law's home with only eri and Yamada. Shinsou is at work with his dad and it’s 3:00 in the morning.

“What the fuck?” Denki slurred. he tries to get up only for him to feel a pop and a trickle of liquid flow down tanned legs.

“Oh shit.”

“Heart, lead me home.” (NR) by baby345

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22308586

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

It was over for Hitoshi before he even knew he was a goner for the blonde. Now they were married and living the stuff of fairytales. Hitoshi’s biggest fear has always been that he was unloveable, that he would never know true and pure love because of his quirk. But as he looked around his childhood home at the pictures of his loved ones, his and Eri’s adoption pictures, at his and his parent’s Wedding pictures, his graduation photos and the birth of his son, he found that love surrounded him in every aspect of his life.

“To See Without My Eyes” (G) by corbeod

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20298883

Warnings: none

Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me

The first time that you touched me

Oh, will wonders ever cease?

Blessed be the mystery of love

Five times Denki falls in love with the future and one time he falls in love with the present.

“Purple Butterflies and Bursting Sparks.” (G) by daisiesandstars

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741180

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

3 times Shinsou fantasied what it would be like to be in those situations Kaminari's friends so easily get to experience. + 1 time he doesn't.

“the good side” (G) by junichirou

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16787428

Warnings: none

"Please teach me how to kiss!"

Hitoshi has heard so many bizarre comments come out from Kaminari's mouth, has heard him spout out bullshit and jokes that even him cannot comprehend. He has heard Kaminari say things that his brain is incapable to process, but this one is the one that causes Hitoshi's mind to blank out. He expected anything, but never this.

So it's not really his fault when his vocabulary seems to disappear and the only proper words he can let out is "What the fuck?"

“A Cold Polish” (G) by pinkskadan

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714039

Warnings: none

Shinsou has never had his nails painted. Kaminari offers to be his first.

“Mind Defibrillator” (T) by DinoGraveyard

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19470070/chapters/46345510

Warnings: none

For reasons Kaminari Denki couldn't understand, people enjoyed watching him die repeatedly and shit talk NPCs as they owned him. What started as a joke evolved into a surprisingly lucrative career as the game streamer Chargebolt. By some miracle, he was one of the most followed gaming channels on the internet.

He knew that streaming an indie queer game by the unknown developer Shinsou Hitoshi would be a change of pace for his channel. He didn't expect to start re-thinking certain aspects of himself as well.

“angel” (G) by flightlesscrow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17832134

Warnings: none

Shinsou fights with class 1-A's Team 1 in the joint training exercise between classes 1-A and 1-B, and meets an angel in the process.

“Come to Bed” (NR) by Dadzawa

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368678

Warnings: none

Kaminari can’t sleep, even though he’s fucking exhausted. Good thing Shinsou knows the best way to get him to unwind.

“For You Even Chocolate” (G) by xemrox (Roquel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396866

Warnings: none

When Hitoshi Shinsou receives chocolates on White Day, Denki panics.

“in a cafe i watched it begin again” (T) by freofreak

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142094

Warnings: none

Omega Kaminari Denki runs a coffee shop with his Pack. He’s the only single one however, and feels as if his biological clock is running out and his insecurities don’t make anything easier. It’s just his luck when he meets a tired, overworking Alpha during a night shift.

“shinsou hitoshi: emotional disaster” (T) by bittermacchiato

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712336

Warnings: none

Follow the adventures of Shinsou Hitoshi (emotional disaster) pining his way through Kaminari Denki's heart!

ps: they're in love

pss: neither of them know that

“Totally romantic style” (T) by emmyrox22

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22528351

Warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings

Shinsou and Kaminari have formed a nightly routine of sorts. All it takes is one unscheduled mental breakdown for the truth to come out.

“Anyways, I’m stalling. Um… I like you dude. Like, for real. Totally romantic style.”

#kamishin #shinkami #fic recs #fanfiction #kaminari denki #shinsou hitoshi #bnha

676 notes · View notes

utterlyinevitable · 4 years

Text

Do We Have A Future?: April

Part 1 | Part 2: November | Part 3: January

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 2.1k Warning: Adult themes, mental health triggers, themes of depression, pregnancy complications and termination Summary: Rebecca told Ethan and now they have to live with the aftermath of their decision.

Author’s Note: Sensitive subject matter means I really suggest only reading if you are 18+ years old.

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamwrites @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie @interobanginyourmom @queencarb @imactuallytheceoofthecompany @rookiefromedenbrook @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations

________________________________________

They seemingly had put this event behind them. The couple moved through the motions of daily life as shadows of who they used to be. They kept a routine and followed it to a T - Ethan profoundly thankful for the false sense of normalcy for which it gave. He could rest easier knowing they were almost in sync again. But unbeknownst to him, Rebecca thought about their unborn child and the life they could have had every single day.

Becca’s pride still kept her from seeking help. She didn’t want to bother Ethan anymore with the what-ifs and could-have-beens. She believed he truly had moved on and forgotten - he didn’t seem weighed down by their decision anymore, his eyes weren’t as heavy as hers anymore.

She had gotten very good at pretending she wasn’t being swallowed alive. Every morning she dressed herself in her best clothes, would put her makeup on carefully over her weaknesses, and paint a smile on her face all the while thinking of the little imaginary bundle sleeping in their pristine second bedroom. In her mind she and Ethan turned the spare bedroom into a pink and white haven of a nursery after days of arguing over textures and color schemes wanting everything to be perfect for her. The thought of her baby’s peaceful, scrunchy face gave Becca the courage to continue on.

At work Becca tried very hard to avoid the overgrown concern of her friends and the other members of the diagnostics team but there was no escape. She had been back at work for nearly four months and they’ve all seen her destructive and desolate actions - from not sleeping to overworking and constant avoidance of any sort of personal actions. One day at lunch Sienna and Kyra tried to get her to open up but Becca put on her curated mask and distanced herself further.

“Hey,” Sienna said with all the courage she could muster. “How's life at Ramsey’s?” she asked as she sat down across from her best friend whom she spotted alone at a corner table and staring at the wall.

Becca’s eyes were void of emotion, just hollow spheres staring back at two of her dearest allies. Her chicken and avocado salad remained closed and untouched with not even a fork in sight. Between Sienna’s uncertainty and Becca’s disinterest the air around them was cumbrous.

“Are you gettin’ it all the time?” Kyra tried to lighten the mood with an eyebrow wiggle as she took her seat next to Sienna.

Becca took a second to contort her features before answering, needing to muster up enough strength so her voice didn’t sound as weak as the two pairs of concerned chocolate eyes boring down on her made her feel.

“It’s good,” she forced through a weak smile hoping her friends bought it for joy. “Weird...but also in a good way?”

It was weird in the sense that Becca still knew Ethan didn’t believe in marriage or children, and yet he made the leap. He pushed himself and solidified her as his partner - his life partner with a set of keys, name on the bills and all. On paper as far as litigation was concerned Ethan and Rebecca were on their way to a civil partnership. Although she doubted they would make it that far. It’s only been a few months. We could still break up…

On edge, Sienna took a big gulp of air in hope that she worded her next question just right, “Are you happy?”

Her eyes searched her broken friend’s features for any indication of the truth.

“Yes,” Becca replied meekly.

“I’m worried about you,” Sienna whispered back.

Kyra broke the trance between the two hurting girls and added just as softly, “We’re all worried about you.”

Becca shifted her weight towards Kyra.

“I’m fine,” with great effort she etched a small convincing smile into her features.

Her eyes met Kyra’s and for a second she felt guilty for keeping this a secret - for worrying her one friend that should be enjoying her new lease on life. Kyra has been in remission for the last six months after undergoing a risky and experimental surgery last year. On top of her shallowness, Becca now regretted not being able to let Kyra lead the carefree life she battled so ruthlessly to get.

“Just busy with everything going on. Ethan’s been having me shadow tough cases,” Becca lied. Ethan didn’t want her anywhere near the most disastrous of cases for fear something would set her off and she’d crumble back into that dark hole once and for all. But Becca didn’t listen. She would tag along with June and Baz, Ethan unable to stop her without letting the cat out of the bag.

Kyra didn’t waver in calling her out, “Becca, we’ve barely seen you since you moved out.”

Looking down at the table, the insecure friend with a weight permanently lodged in her chest said, “We have a lot going on.”

“Can we talk about it?” Sienna all but begged, “I’m sure it’ll make you feel better.”

Becca brushed off the notion with a shake of her head, “It’s nothing.”

Kyra’s hand reached across the table for Becca’s, “You know you can tell us anything, right? We’ll still love you.”

They may still love me but they’ll never look at me the same way. They’ll never see just Becca, they’ll see me as the failed mother that I am.

Becca folded her hands in her lap and sat taller. Looking between the two before her, she responded, “I love you too.”

The only person not throwing a pity party at Becca’s expense in the slightest was Dr. June Hirata. For that she was actually grateful for the arrogant and manipulative doctor on her team. Although psychological behavior is her trade, June did her best to keep her questions and analysis of Becca to herself. No point in igniting that fire again, June thought as she reminded herself of the time Becca scolded her for reading her employee file behind her back way back when.

June knew ever since that encounter that Rebecca regarded her with extreme contempt, however one day she just couldn’t stop the gnawing desire to know why Dr. Rebecca Lao so adamantly avoided working on cases with her boyfriend after watching the two not-so-subtly stare each other down at daily briefing.

“What’s going on with you lately?” June so casually asked as they walked in stride through the illuminated walls of Edenbrook to their next patient’s room - a four year old boy who hadn't had a bowel movement in weeks and the warning signs of vertigo.

“Nothing,” Becca muttered firmly before dismissing, “Don’t worry about it, June.”

“Whatever you say, Dr. Lao.” Although Becca wasn’t looking at her she could feel Dr. Hirata’s harsh eye roll. “Trouble in paradise?” the British doctor added, shooting her shot.

Not only did June make notes of Becca’s recent behavior, she noticed how Ethan had changed over the last few months as well. At one point the hair on his chin was longer and more unkempt than she’d ever seen. His facial features were older as if he carried a burden - one much bigger than his previous hardship of holding onto Naveen’s secret years ago. Dr. Hirata never thought she’d seen this statuesque man crumble any lower than when he thought his dear friend was on death row.

June observed how Ethan was on edge and snapped easily during those early weeks of the incident. Then he seemed to tiptoe around Rebecca at work, secretly reassigning some of her cases or running the tests himself behind her back. Now more recently she noted that the pair avoided working one-on-one. He was protecting something and the thought of not knowing irked Dr. Hirata to no end.

I know I’d want to work closely with my boyfriend every chance I got.

It wasn’t a secret Ethan and Becca were dating, Elijah let it slip to a few of the nurse’s by accident once long before. Even if he didn't, anyone who spent enough time with the two doctor’s could feel the undeniable chemistry that radiated off of them - the pure unadulterated adoration they shared even in the darkest of times.

“It’s none of your business,” Becca snapped as she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from letting her emotions take over.

Rebecca knew her relationship with Ethan was far from what it once was. They didn’t have the same banter anymore or playfully debate to get in the last word. They found it increasingly complicated to challenge one another now; neither wanting to push the other too far. They were fragile. They were a window - the thick glass of their relationship looking ahead but also peeking back into the other side, constantly and simultaneously staring back at what once was and what’s to come. One small stone could break them - only having to find the spot with the most tension and they’d shatter.

Ethan and Becca continuously strived to bring back the passion they once shared. She would take him out to dinner or to his sacred box at the opera, things she knew were convivial and released his stress. Ethan would plan dates to Naveen’s cabin where they could spend some time enjoying the outdoors, or he would spend countless evenings looking for new and trendy food trucks to drag her too, just like her friends used to do back before. All they wanted was for the other to be happier.

Sometimes a little gleam would pass through their features, though not long enough for either one to relish in it.

***

They laid in their king-sized bed wrapped in each other's arms after a grueling day at the hospital. Becca’s head nuzzled in the soft nook where Ethan’s bare chest met the crook of his neck - her favorite spot. The rain poured down sideways outside rapping on the large window with monotonous ticks. Ethan’s eyes stared blankly at the bare ceiling cherishing their comfortable silence while absentmindedly tracing circles over his ratty t-shirt on her back. Both were thankful for the peaceful closeness found in the simplistic nature of snuggling, the intimacy found in the warmth of the other.

In the safety of their dark bedroom, shielded by Ethan’s embrace and cloaked by the late hour of time Becca found the courage to speak from her heart,

“What do you think our life would be like if we had it?”

It’d be six weeks til due date this week.

“Becca…” Ethan warned.

A quick surge of unencumbered courage kept her going, “It’d be due in June… Would we be looking at houses or turning the second bedroom into a nursery?”

He let out a sigh. At least she’s finally talking about it.

Finally Ethan let themselves indulge in bringing up their future.

“I’d imagine we’d buy a townhome nearby,” he rationalized, furrowing his brows as he thought of the logistics of making room for baby. He moved his hand up from her back to run his fingers through Becca’s messy hair, still looking at the blank canvas ceiling as he painted the picture. “I like this area; it’s quiet and close to work. We would need a couple more rooms definitely and a backyard for Jenner and…” His hand ceased all motion. “it to play in.” He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge a child - their child. That’s not what the universe had planned for them.

Letting his words give her security she smiled into his chest and continued the fantasy, “My mom would definitely want to come stay with us the first few months.” Her hand on his chest searched for his free hand in the dark.

“My dad as well,” he told her matter-of-factly as he laced their fingers together. Ethan let out a preemptive chuckle, “Hell, Naveen would probably move himself in,” he joked and she could hear the happy smirk adorning his lips. She felt his chest rise and fall a little quicker as he laughed to himself at the thought of his mentor being consistently present throughout their children’s lives. In this moment - wrapped up in the dream - everything made sense.

None of this would be possible without her, he thought with a small shake of his head, thinking of their beginning and how she made all his days all the more bearable. How, through her weaseling, she was able to give Naveen more years than he could have imagined and a family Ethan never thought possible.

Although the springtime storm raged outdoors the atmosphere around the couple was light and airy. A curated happiness circled around them, begging them to fall into the future.

“The more the merrier!” she noted happily. Cuddling further into Ethan, needing him to be so much closer. “It takes a village after all.”

Without thinking Ethan responded with a grin and a kiss to her head, “Our kids won’t be lonely, that’s for sure.”

Her heart leaped.

Is he coming around?

____________________

A/N: Whelp. We only have one more part left... i’m not ready for it to be over 😥

like/comment/reblog i need the validation

#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #choices fanfic #choices oph2 #oph #oph ff #ff #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #tw: abortion #tw: mental health

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