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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
Hi Luna! I hope you’ll thrive and grow much more after closing this chapter of your life here on Tumblr! Thank you for writing one of my favorite smaus here on this platform, it truly made me happy! Can you drop your link for your tokyorev fanfic? I still wish to follow your content ❤️ may you have happiness everyday and good health always! ❤️❤️
omg hello im sorry for the rlly late reply i just logged back on today:)) but here it goes: favorite crime (it’s completed <3)
it's also on ao3 :>
i rlly appreciate the ask and thank you so much for reading my smau and for wishing more growth for me anon <33
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
hello, it’s been a long time! 
i’ve been on hiatus because my laptop broke, and more personal hardships came after that leading to so much stress and brkdwns
i appreciate those who have reached out and asked how i was, it made things seem less difficult for me, and now my laptop’s all okay :DD 
but i feel like i need to turn a new page and leave this blog behind since I no longer have the passion to run a blog I’ve left behind and abandoned so many times yk (this blog was my first outlet of experience as a writer and i feel like this is a phase i should now let go)
- this blog will be inactive (has been for a while now but im saying this is permanent) 
- i won’t be deleting my blog or any of my works bc they’re important to me and i still want them read 
- i will still be writing (i have actually started writing on wattpad just a few days ago and it’s still a small fanfic about tokyo revengers) // you can send me an ask if you want to check it out //  
- lastly, im sorry if i’ve disappointed anyone but i just cant see myself happily continuing this blog like i used to
i know i was somewhat a messy and inconsistent person on this app, and im thankful to everyone who has supported me since <33 so again, sincere thanks to all of u readers and authors who have been my inspiration and i wish u stay safe and have a nice day/night!
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
miss you luna, hope your doing well <3
i miss being active too! 🥺🥺 and whoever u r anon ilysm thanks for not forgetting me 🥰 im still trying to do errands so that i could save up enough for a new laptop, hope i can get back into writing next month 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
not me getting depressed and having random heartaches throughout the day bc of this chapter and everything else going on starting shibuya arc honestly 💔
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this is just too painful for me
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
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this is just too painful for me
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
I was literally just thinking of you and going to ask how you were doing when I saw your latest post! I hope your laptop will be ok! Everything will work out I’m sure 😘💜✨(I will call Inumaki and have him shout “work!” at your computer 😆)
Let him tell my homeworks “get urselves done” too 🥲
Felt rlly flattered and touched that you thought about me boo 🥰🥰 i still don’t have a laptop and am currently running errands like housekeeping and babysitting for my relatives to earn 🤕 it could be repaired but it’s very pricey so i hate myself for dropping it yk 🤡
But ily and thanks for sending this very exhausted blogger an ask (made my day like y am i so emotional over this 😭)
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
in your “there’s a cockroach in my bathroom, im in the bath” you named atsumu as “🐁*sumu”
you probably didn’t mean anything by it but calling asian people “rats” is racist, they were depicted as rats in racist propoganda. im not attacking you, but it’s best to edit atsumus screenshot out or delete the post.
Thanks for calling me out!
This smau was my first and it was an old post i made prior my enlightenment about it being racist and wrong, so thanks for telling me otherwise I would probably never notice there was a slur in that post.
I will be editing the post once I have better internet connection to upload a photo, thanks again!
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
Guys bear with me for my ghosting lately, i have no urge to live bc my best friend (my laptop) is broken and is irreparable and im struggling wirh classes 🥲
0 notes
kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
I just watched JJK and i'm so in love with soft baby Toge! I love your icon and I just realized you write for him!! So you can bet I will make a request when I think of something good ;) Anytime you wanna nerd out about JJK or Toge lmk XD
THIS MEANS THE WORLDSDJFAS 
i personally feel like there should be SO MUCH MORE inumaki content on my feed or tumblr in general 😭i have a drafted scenario wherein he has a secret crush on reader and they’re together on a mission and like im dying to finish writing it if it weren’t for school 
anyway,, he’s just so lovable it makes me cry 😭  
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
be with me - boy pablo
sick feeling - boy pablo
tangerine - tim atlas
magic - she's only sixteen
whatever that was - she's only sixteen
monologue - she's only sixteen
favoritism - she's only sixteen
leave me out of it - she's only sixteen
currently - she's only sixteen
sheep - she's only sixteen
perfect - she's only sixteen
does anyone remember - she's only sixteen
forget you - rusty machines
don't wanna be lonely - banna harbera
drunk - cheats
accidents - cheats
darling - christian leave
no use - christian leave
seven - men i trust
numb - men i trust
show me how - men i trust
lauren - men i trust
lucky sue - men i trust
i hope to be around - men i trust
over the moon - the marías
cariño - the marías
i don't wanna be okay without you - charlie burg
no song without you - honne
momo's - connan mockasin
things that i miss - awfultune, sandosius
there are more!!! but i hope u like these 💓💓
yk what, the moment i saw ur ask come in, these songs came straight into my notes and i RLLY would stop working on homework and just stare into space to absorb the music yk :”) like THANK YOU SM I JUST WISH I COULD SEND HUGS OR MONEY OR WHATEVER YOU NEED 
but no i dont have money just receive my virtual hugs and kisses :* :*
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Note
hi!!! ive been real quiet bc,,, SCHOOL 😔😔
u should def check out she's only sixteen (my fav), men i trust, the marías, cheats, boy pablo, tim atlas; if u like indie or alt rock, that is. they're great!!!
i'd plug in my playlists of them, if it wasn't bound to my main acc 🤠
AAHH IVE BEEN QUIET TO BC OF SCHOOL 😭
but although im just replying now, i’ve been listening to these while having a mental breakdown   doing homework, and i luv it sm they were very comforting for me in a way like “lmao anon recommended this, it be special” srsly thanks so much :* kith kith  
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
Taglist [Open]: @ak-may @kuroogguk @hi-kenam @asdfghjkl7things @bokuhoez @dipsydoo542 @the-amaranthine @kenkenmaaa @yongboxerrr @tamakis-bbyy @saltylettuce @crazysocklovingfangirl @gautier-lei @owlnymph @tabipleats @moonlightkth @uniquabackyardigans @koifish69​ @yamayoomi​ @pansexualproblemchild
chapter xi | pt. one - forgotten dreams of you 
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“Oh.” 
He did not look pleased. 
“It’s you.” 
You had just arrived at his doorstep, with your coffee on hand in hopes that your severely sleep-deprived self could stay awake for him today. 
“Ohayo, Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You brightly grin, because at this point, how could you not get used to how cold he was? 
“Ohayo. Come in,” he quietly says with a sigh, stepping aside to let you in. 
As expected, his house was clean and neat—just like him and all that he is. Nothing was too flashy, nor was it really simple or boring; in fact, you thought that despite the dominance of monotone colors in his abode, it was a well thought-of and elegantly-matched color scheme. 
Now having entered his living room, you notice how it was spacious and contained the bare minimum of furniture. Again, as expected of Sakusa Kiyoomi, he didn’t fancy anything unnecessary. Over all from what you saw, his home was lovely yet cold, and peaceful but lonely—and it isn’t just because it’s spacious.  
You realize you’ve stopped at the entrance of his living room when you hear him click his tongue behind you. “Are you just going to stand there?” 
Rolling your eyes, you step aside so he could enter the living room. 
“I have to say, I did not expect you at all to ever invite me in your home.” 
He chuckles under his breath, “more did I.” 
You raise a brow, following after him but just awkwardly standing between his gray couch and dark-tinted glass table. “So why did you?” 
If he smiled, you wouldn’t know; he was wearing his usual black mask. “Beats me. Just to shut you up, I guess? As if I’d ever go out in public with you.” 
“Are you saying you’ll go out with me in secret?” You flash him a sly smile, knowing fully well how much you were testing his patience at 8 o’clock in the morning. 
He hated how you twisted his words; even more, he hated how he wasn’t truly irritated. Finally noticing how you were both just standing there with not enough distance between you two, he looks away and steps back. 
He’s noticed it before, but he really didn’t have enough awareness of physical closeness when it’s you, and he blames it on the way your warm, painful memories lingered and clutched on to him like a curse. It gave him a false sense of familiarity with you, who’s obviously changed and is far from the girl he once knew—he’s not even sure if he really knew you at all. 
“Sit down, I need to get something.” 
You nod, finally sitting down, “I’ll be here.” 
“Or you could leave,” he cheekily says as he turns away and disappears into what you assume was his room. 
A few minutes later, he comes out of his room with a thick comforter and a pillow, to which you look at him accusingly in response, your arms wrapping around your own frame protectively.
“What kind of impure things are you planning?” 
He glares at you, knitting his brows. Inside his head, he debated on how to respond to that, but decided he was too irritated to be as nice and patient as he initially was. He carelessly tosses them in your direction, not caring about how you cursed profanities at him. 
“What is this?” You glare at him after successfully getting out from the mess of his heavy comforter. In contrast to your seemingly irritated tone, you were actually quite taken aback and flustered the moment your eyes were uncovered from the comforter as he was sitting on the arm rest of his couch—a mere arm’s reach from you. 
“You should sleep.” 
You frown. “What?” 
“I see. It must be difficult to be an actress and be deaf.” 
You sarcastically smile at him before grabbing the pillow and smacking it towards him, but to add to your frustration, he had grabbed the pillow and took it from you, embracing it in his arms. 
“Damn your volleyball player reflexes,” you scowl.
He stays silent, eyeing the coffee you put at his glass table, thinking about how he could ask you to stop drinking coffee and get your much needed rest without seeming like he cared—because he swears he doesn’t care. Just lingering memories, just false familiarity.
“What are we doing today? We watching a movie?” You interrupt his thoughts, immediately feeling dejected when he shakes his head and stands up, placing the pillow on your lap. 
“We’re not doing anything. I will be in my room and you will be here.” 
Before he could turn away, you have grabbed the back of his hoodie, not caring if you seemed too eager. “But aren’t we spending time together?” 
“Look, I may have been complacent with you, but I still hate you for everything, got that? All I’m doing is trying to meet ends with this stupid, selfish deal you’ve somehow forced on me.” 
“Then why invite me over?!” Out of all harsh things he had said and done, this one stung and infuriated you the most. Still, you can’t explain why you haven’t let go of him. 
“Because you cling to me so much. I just want to get it over with, and after two more weeks, you should stick to your words and do what you do best,” he clenches his teeth, frustrated that once again, he failed to pretend he cared nothing about your past—because you did it so perfectly, shouldn’t he be the same? 
“What I do best?!” You grit your teeth, too confused and angry to level your voice, tears wanting to spill out and you’re not even certain if it’s because of confusion, anger or hurt. 
“What do I do best, Kiyoomi?” 
His chest throbbed, why are you the one sounding hurt? 
“Leaving me. You had no problem doing so before,” his words were cold and hurtful, even when he said it so softly with a hint of vulnerability. Without a doubt, no one confused you more than this man, who had now left you feeling shattered and pathetic, alone in the living room.  
Of course, you thought about leaving, but you didn’t want to. You wanted to know why he hated you so; why he constantly shifts from heartless and subtly gentle when he’s with you, and why he says things that don’t make sense—as if you’ve already wronged or even hurt him before. 
Your second idea was just to knock on his door, but even if you wanted to face him, you couldn’t let go of your pride; not this time, not when you actually felt this hurt. Deciding that you should just wait out in his living room until lunch, you put the pillow and comforter to good use. 
I’m not gonna fall asleep, you tell yourself as you lie down and cocoon the warm blanket around you. You’ve had more than 2 cups of coffee in the span of 12 hours, so you trust you’ll be awake when he finally gets out at noon since he has to eat lunch. 
It puzzled you so, but between the drowsiness and incapability to distinguish whether you were already asleep or not, whether it was a memory or a dream, you see a young, beautiful boy, with dark curly hair and a mask—similar to the one you argued with just moments ago. 
Why is he holding out his hand to me? 
I want to take his hand, you thought, before you drift off to a dreamless sleep. 
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smau masterlist
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
Taglist [Open]: @kellesvt @amessypan @anejuuuuoy @changkyun-not @smuttyanimeslut @kukki-tsukki @hurtbycanonthoughts @dreamstormings @yzjjvy @akaashikeijisthighs @aam1na @sucker4setters @hallothankmas @crybabbicus @imnothonryiswear @potatotmc @volleybloop @blackandpurplemybones @writing2live @im-donejustendme @hajimesbbygrl @little-plants @timeturnerss @tokyoflash @ellacchiisuu @4kaashl @omiiomiaaus @kuroos-neko @lunix-galaxiussal @ricefarmerkita @vicassa @geektastic84 @bandaged-despair @angrylittleriri @tendouluvr @tanakaslastbraincell @ellacchiisuu @shoutobabyboy @marifujioka @marifujioka @koznme @kiritokunuwu @minaces @mellowknightcolorfarm @moonlightkawa @anihoesimp @its-babybitch @hxked @thathoneybee3 @lovinnoya @hq149 @tetsunation @6sakusa @bigchaosenergy @haloshornsglitter @camcam1617
chapter xi | pt. one - forgotten dreams of you 
Tumblr media
“Oh.” 
He did not look pleased. 
“It’s you.” 
You had just arrived at his doorstep, with your coffee on hand in hopes that your severely sleep-deprived self could stay awake for him today. 
“Ohayo, Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You brightly grin, because at this point, how could you not get used to how cold he was? 
“Ohayo. Come in,” he quietly says with a sigh, stepping aside to let you in. 
As expected, his house was clean and neat—just like him and all that he is. Nothing was too flashy, nor was it really simple or boring; in fact, you thought that despite the dominance of monotone colors in his abode, it was a well thought-of and elegantly-matched color scheme. 
Now having entered his living room, you notice how it was spacious and contained the bare minimum of furniture. Again, as expected of Sakusa Kiyoomi, he didn’t fancy anything unnecessary. Over all from what you saw, his home was lovely yet cold, and peaceful but lonely—and it isn’t just because it’s spacious.  
You realize you’ve stopped at the entrance of his living room when you hear him click his tongue behind you. “Are you just going to stand there?” 
Rolling your eyes, you step aside so he could enter the living room. 
“I have to say, I did not expect you at all to ever invite me in your home.” 
He chuckles under his breath, “more did I.” 
You raise a brow, following after him but just awkwardly standing between his gray couch and dark-tinted glass table. “So why did you?” 
If he smiled, you wouldn’t know; he was wearing his usual black mask. “Beats me. Just to shut you up, I guess? As if I’d ever go out in public with you.” 
“Are you saying you’ll go out with me in secret?” You flash him a sly smile, knowing fully well how much you were testing his patience at 8 o’clock in the morning. 
He hated how you twisted his words; even more, he hated how he wasn’t truly irritated. Finally noticing how you were both just standing there with not enough distance between you two, he looks away and steps back. 
He’s noticed it before, but he really didn’t have enough awareness of physical closeness when it’s you, and he blames it on the way your warm, painful memories lingered and clutched on to him like a curse. It gave him a false sense of familiarity with you, who’s obviously changed and is far from the girl he once knew—he’s not even sure if he really knew you at all. 
“Sit down, I need to get something.” 
You nod, finally sitting down, “I’ll be here.” 
“Or you could leave,” he cheekily says as he turns away and disappears into what you assume was his room. 
A few minutes later, he comes out of his room with a thick comforter and a pillow, to which you look at him accusingly in response, your arms wrapping around your own frame protectively.
“What kind of impure things are you planning?” 
He glares at you, knitting his brows. Inside his head, he debated on how to respond to that, but decided he was too irritated to be as nice and patient as he initially was. He carelessly tosses them in your direction, not caring about how you cursed profanities at him. 
“What is this?” You glare at him after successfully getting out from the mess of his heavy comforter. In contrast to your seemingly irritated tone, you were actually quite taken aback and flustered the moment your eyes were uncovered from the comforter as he was sitting on the arm rest of his couch—a mere arm’s reach from you. 
“You should sleep.” 
You frown. “What?” 
“I see. It must be difficult to be an actress and be deaf.” 
You sarcastically smile at him before grabbing the pillow and smacking it towards him, but to add to your frustration, he had grabbed the pillow and took it from you, embracing it in his arms. 
“Damn your volleyball player reflexes,” you scowl.
He stays silent, eyeing the coffee you put at his glass table, thinking about how he could ask you to stop drinking coffee and get your much needed rest without seeming like he cared—because he swears he doesn’t care. Just lingering memories, just false familiarity.
“What are we doing today? We watching a movie?” You interrupt his thoughts, immediately feeling dejected when he shakes his head and stands up, placing the pillow on your lap. 
“We’re not doing anything. I will be in my room and you will be here.” 
Before he could turn away, you have grabbed the back of his hoodie, not caring if you seemed too eager. “But aren’t we spending time together?” 
“Look, I may have been complacent with you, but I still hate you for everything, got that? All I’m doing is trying to meet ends with this stupid, selfish deal you’ve somehow forced on me.” 
“Then why invite me over?!” Out of all harsh things he had said and done, this one stung and infuriated you the most. Still, you can’t explain why you haven’t let go of him. 
“Because you cling to me so much. I just want to get it over with, and after two more weeks, you should stick to your words and do what you do best,” he clenches his teeth, frustrated that once again, he failed to pretend he cared nothing about your past—because you did it so perfectly, shouldn’t he be the same? 
“What I do best?!” You grit your teeth, too confused and angry to level your voice, tears wanting to spill out and you’re not even certain if it’s because of confusion, anger or hurt. 
“What do I do best, Kiyoomi?” 
His chest throbbed, why are you the one sounding hurt? 
“Leaving me. You had no problem doing so before,” his words were cold and hurtful, even when he said it so softly with a hint of vulnerability. Without a doubt, no one confused you more than this man, who had now left you feeling shattered and pathetic, alone in the living room.  
Of course, you thought about leaving, but you didn’t want to. You wanted to know why he hated you so; why he constantly shifts from heartless and subtly gentle when he’s with you, and why he says things that don’t make sense—as if you’ve already wronged or even hurt him before. 
Your second idea was just to knock on his door, but even if you wanted to face him, you couldn’t let go of your pride; not this time, not when you actually felt this hurt. Deciding that you should just wait out in his living room until lunch, you put the pillow and comforter to good use. 
I’m not gonna fall asleep, you tell yourself as you lie down and cocoon the warm blanket around you. You’ve had more than 2 cups of coffee in the span of 12 hours, so you trust you’ll be awake when he finally gets out at noon since he has to eat lunch. 
It puzzled you so, but between the drowsiness and incapability to distinguish whether you were already asleep or not, whether it was a memory or a dream, you see a young, beautiful boy, with dark curly hair and a mask—similar to the one you argued with just moments ago. 
Why is he holding out his hand to me? 
I want to take his hand, you thought, before you drift off to a dreamless sleep. 
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smau masterlist
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
Text
Taglist [Open]: @juno-multifandom @dope-squish @moonlightaangel @ladymartiini @kac-chowsballs @amareloecrime @bokutosuwus @animatedrapture @dianablushblush @seikamuzu @luvssuna @thepuffybubby @thomas-brodie-sangster-newt @cutiekawa @prcttylittlcthing @impromptuxprompts @lulu3mon @pockytokyo @arianatorgrand3 @coconut-dreamz @tskeiki @superstarsw18 @kaito-thedumbass @astrealia @paripedia @kasandrafaye  @kac-chowsballs @bokuakadaily @doggonudez @seokjinnieandthesixbabies @princess-angel-sweetheart @d-efend @sun-daddy-yoriichi @euphorihan @moncymonce @elianetsantana @gaychemicalwater @miitchii @channiechanchan @chaelysian @weebartistinc @bonkyandloki @dinablossom @adriivette @uwu-baby-boi @broccoliandwheeze @sunflowerirl @yeahhemmings- @violetarks @craftyfawns @haikyunicorn @tinymidgetsstuff 
chapter xi | pt. one - forgotten dreams of you 
Tumblr media
“Oh.” 
He did not look pleased. 
“It’s you.” 
You had just arrived at his doorstep, with your coffee on hand in hopes that your severely sleep-deprived self could stay awake for him today. 
“Ohayo, Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You brightly grin, because at this point, how could you not get used to how cold he was? 
“Ohayo. Come in,” he quietly says with a sigh, stepping aside to let you in. 
As expected, his house was clean and neat—just like him and all that he is. Nothing was too flashy, nor was it really simple or boring; in fact, you thought that despite the dominance of monotone colors in his abode, it was a well thought-of and elegantly-matched color scheme. 
Now having entered his living room, you notice how it was spacious and contained the bare minimum of furniture. Again, as expected of Sakusa Kiyoomi, he didn’t fancy anything unnecessary. Over all from what you saw, his home was lovely yet cold, and peaceful but lonely—and it isn’t just because it’s spacious.  
You realize you’ve stopped at the entrance of his living room when you hear him click his tongue behind you. “Are you just going to stand there?” 
Rolling your eyes, you step aside so he could enter the living room. 
“I have to say, I did not expect you at all to ever invite me in your home.” 
He chuckles under his breath, “more did I.” 
You raise a brow, following after him but just awkwardly standing between his gray couch and dark-tinted glass table. “So why did you?” 
If he smiled, you wouldn’t know; he was wearing his usual black mask. “Beats me. Just to shut you up, I guess? As if I’d ever go out in public with you.” 
“Are you saying you’ll go out with me in secret?” You flash him a sly smile, knowing fully well how much you were testing his patience at 8 o’clock in the morning. 
He hated how you twisted his words; even more, he hated how he wasn’t truly irritated. Finally noticing how you were both just standing there with not enough distance between you two, he looks away and steps back. 
He’s noticed it before, but he really didn’t have enough awareness of physical closeness when it’s you, and he blames it on the way your warm, painful memories lingered and clutched on to him like a curse. It gave him a false sense of familiarity with you, who’s obviously changed and is far from the girl he once knew—he’s not even sure if he really knew you at all. 
“Sit down, I need to get something.” 
You nod, finally sitting down, “I’ll be here.” 
“Or you could leave,” he cheekily says as he turns away and disappears into what you assume was his room. 
A few minutes later, he comes out of his room with a thick comforter and a pillow, to which you look at him accusingly in response, your arms wrapping around your own frame protectively.
“What kind of impure things are you planning?” 
He glares at you, knitting his brows. Inside his head, he debated on how to respond to that, but decided he was too irritated to be as nice and patient as he initially was. He carelessly tosses them in your direction, not caring about how you cursed profanities at him. 
“What is this?” You glare at him after successfully getting out from the mess of his heavy comforter. In contrast to your seemingly irritated tone, you were actually quite taken aback and flustered the moment your eyes were uncovered from the comforter as he was sitting on the arm rest of his couch—a mere arm’s reach from you. 
“You should sleep.” 
You frown. “What?” 
“I see. It must be difficult to be an actress and be deaf.” 
You sarcastically smile at him before grabbing the pillow and smacking it towards him, but to add to your frustration, he had grabbed the pillow and took it from you, embracing it in his arms. 
“Damn your volleyball player reflexes,” you scowl.
He stays silent, eyeing the coffee you put at his glass table, thinking about how he could ask you to stop drinking coffee and get your much needed rest without seeming like he cared—because he swears he doesn’t care. Just lingering memories, just false familiarity.
“What are we doing today? We watching a movie?” You interrupt his thoughts, immediately feeling dejected when he shakes his head and stands up, placing the pillow on your lap. 
“We’re not doing anything. I will be in my room and you will be here.” 
Before he could turn away, you have grabbed the back of his hoodie, not caring if you seemed too eager. “But aren’t we spending time together?” 
“Look, I may have been complacent with you, but I still hate you for everything, got that? All I’m doing is trying to meet ends with this stupid, selfish deal you’ve somehow forced on me.” 
“Then why invite me over?!” Out of all harsh things he had said and done, this one stung and infuriated you the most. Still, you can’t explain why you haven’t let go of him. 
“Because you cling to me so much. I just want to get it over with, and after two more weeks, you should stick to your words and do what you do best,” he clenches his teeth, frustrated that once again, he failed to pretend he cared nothing about your past—because you did it so perfectly, shouldn’t he be the same? 
“What I do best?!” You grit your teeth, too confused and angry to level your voice, tears wanting to spill out and you’re not even certain if it’s because of confusion, anger or hurt. 
“What do I do best, Kiyoomi?” 
His chest throbbed, why are you the one sounding hurt? 
“Leaving me. You had no problem doing so before,” his words were cold and hurtful, even when he said it so softly with a hint of vulnerability. Without a doubt, no one confused you more than this man, who had now left you feeling shattered and pathetic, alone in the living room.  
Of course, you thought about leaving, but you didn’t want to. You wanted to know why he hated you so; why he constantly shifts from heartless and subtly gentle when he’s with you, and why he says things that don’t make sense—as if you’ve already wronged or even hurt him before. 
Your second idea was just to knock on his door, but even if you wanted to face him, you couldn’t let go of your pride; not this time, not when you actually felt this hurt. Deciding that you should just wait out in his living room until lunch, you put the pillow and comforter to good use. 
I’m not gonna fall asleep, you tell yourself as you lie down and cocoon the warm blanket around you. You’ve had more than 2 cups of coffee in the span of 12 hours, so you trust you’ll be awake when he finally gets out at noon since he has to eat lunch. 
It puzzled you so, but between the drowsiness and incapability to distinguish whether you were already asleep or not, whether it was a memory or a dream, you see a young, beautiful boy, with dark curly hair and a mask—similar to the one you argued with just moments ago. 
Why is he holding out his hand to me? 
I want to take his hand, you thought, before you drift off to a dreamless sleep. 
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
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chapter xi | pt. one - forgotten dreams of you 
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“Oh.” 
He did not look pleased. 
“It’s you.” 
You had just arrived at his doorstep, with your coffee on hand in hopes that your severely sleep-deprived self could stay awake for him today. 
“Ohayo, Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You brightly grin, because at this point, how could you not get used to how cold he was? 
“Ohayo. Come in,” he quietly says with a sigh, stepping aside to let you in. 
As expected, his house was clean and neat—just like him and all that he is. Nothing was too flashy, nor was it really simple or boring; in fact, you thought that despite the dominance of monotone colors in his abode, it was a well thought-of and elegantly-matched color scheme. 
Now having entered his living room, you notice how it was spacious and contained the bare minimum of furniture. Again, as expected of Sakusa Kiyoomi, he didn’t fancy anything unnecessary. Over all from what you saw, his home was lovely yet cold, and peaceful but lonely—and it isn’t just because it’s spacious.  
You realize you’ve stopped at the entrance of his living room when you hear him click his tongue behind you. “Are you just going to stand there?” 
Rolling your eyes, you step aside so he could enter the living room. 
“I have to say, I did not expect you at all to ever invite me in your home.” 
He chuckles under his breath, “more did I.” 
You raise a brow, following after him but just awkwardly standing between his gray couch and dark-tinted glass table. “So why did you?” 
If he smiled, you wouldn’t know; he was wearing his usual black mask. “Beats me. Just to shut you up, I guess? As if I’d ever go out in public with you.” 
“Are you saying you’ll go out with me in secret?” You flash him a sly smile, knowing fully well how much you were testing his patience at 8 o’clock in the morning. 
He hated how you twisted his words; even more, he hated how he wasn’t truly irritated. Finally noticing how you were both just standing there with not enough distance between you two, he looks away and steps back. 
He’s noticed it before, but he really didn’t have enough awareness of physical closeness when it’s you, and he blames it on the way your warm, painful memories lingered and clutched on to him like a curse. It gave him a false sense of familiarity with you, who’s obviously changed and is far from the girl he once knew—he’s not even sure if he really knew you at all. 
“Sit down, I need to get something.” 
You nod, finally sitting down, “I’ll be here.” 
“Or you could leave,” he cheekily says as he turns away and disappears into what you assume was his room. 
A few minutes later, he comes out of his room with a thick comforter and a pillow, to which you look at him accusingly in response, your arms wrapping around your own frame protectively.
“What kind of impure things are you planning?” 
He glares at you, knitting his brows. Inside his head, he debated on how to respond to that, but decided he was too irritated to be as nice and patient as he initially was. He carelessly tosses them in your direction, not caring about how you cursed profanities at him. 
“What is this?” You glare at him after successfully getting out from the mess of his heavy comforter. In contrast to your seemingly irritated tone, you were actually quite taken aback and flustered the moment your eyes were uncovered from the comforter as he was sitting on the arm rest of his couch—a mere arm’s reach from you. 
“You should sleep.” 
You frown. “What?” 
“I see. It must be difficult to be an actress and be deaf.” 
You sarcastically smile at him before grabbing the pillow and smacking it towards him, but to add to your frustration, he had grabbed the pillow and took it from you, embracing it in his arms. 
“Damn your volleyball player reflexes,” you scowl.
He stays silent, eyeing the coffee you put at his glass table, thinking about how he could ask you to stop drinking coffee and get your much needed rest without seeming like he cared—because he swears he doesn’t care. Just lingering memories, just false familiarity.
“What are we doing today? We watching a movie?” You interrupt his thoughts, immediately feeling dejected when he shakes his head and stands up, placing the pillow on your lap. 
“We’re not doing anything. I will be in my room and you will be here.” 
Before he could turn away, you have grabbed the back of his hoodie, not caring if you seemed too eager. “But aren’t we spending time together?” 
“Look, I may have been complacent with you, but I still hate you for everything, got that? All I’m doing is trying to meet ends with this stupid, selfish deal you’ve somehow forced on me.” 
“Then why invite me over?!” Out of all harsh things he had said and done, this one stung and infuriated you the most. Still, you can’t explain why you haven’t let go of him. 
“Because you cling to me so much. I just want to get it over with, and after two more weeks, you should stick to your words and do what you do best,” he clenches his teeth, frustrated that once again, he failed to pretend he cared nothing about your past—because you did it so perfectly, shouldn’t he be the same? 
“What I do best?!” You grit your teeth, too confused and angry to level your voice, tears wanting to spill out and you’re not even certain if it’s because of confusion, anger or hurt. 
“What do I do best, Kiyoomi?” 
His chest throbbed, why are you the one sounding hurt? 
“Leaving me. You had no problem doing so before,” his words were cold and hurtful, even when he said it so softly with a hint of vulnerability. Without a doubt, no one confused you more than this man, who had now left you feeling shattered and pathetic, alone in the living room.  
Of course, you thought about leaving, but you didn’t want to. You wanted to know why he hated you so; why he constantly shifts from heartless and subtly gentle when he’s with you, and why he says things that don’t make sense—as if you’ve already wronged or even hurt him before. 
Your second idea was just to knock on his door, but even if you wanted to face him, you couldn’t let go of your pride; not this time, not when you actually felt this hurt. Deciding that you should just wait out in his living room until lunch, you put the pillow and comforter to good use. 
I’m not gonna fall asleep, you tell yourself as you lie down and cocoon the warm blanket around you. You’ve had more than 2 cups of coffee in the span of 12 hours, so you trust you’ll be awake when he finally gets out at noon since he has to eat lunch. 
It puzzled you so, but between the drowsiness and incapability to distinguish whether you were already asleep or not, whether it was a memory or a dream, you see a young, beautiful boy, with dark curly hair and a mask—similar to the one you argued with just moments ago. 
Why is he holding out his hand to me? 
I want to take his hand, you thought, before you drift off to a dreamless sleep. 
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
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can someone recommend me playlists or songs to listen to while i bury myself with school work pls :’) 
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kuroos-moon · 3 years
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pov: you told him he should stop playing in the snow or he’ll get sick
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