Film me in super8
so even if we don’t last
I can have that to look back on
I can’t let go
I won’t let go
Film me while I’m at your place
So even if we don’t last
I can have that to remember colors of your linen
I can’t let go
I won’t let go
Teach me how to control the bass
So I don’t forget how you sound when you play
The little things is all I ask to take from you
And maybe I might let go.
Lyrics from an unreleased song by khandedoe
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something about gothic deaths… sickness that lasts for weeks and ends with blood stained sheets, days and days of being shut away from everyone that loves you. drowning (perhaps even by choice) in the waters you played in as a child. heartbreak so deep, so sudden, so chilling that it stops the blood flowing in your veins long enough to begin cardiac arrest. mysteriously found stabbed in a haystack. impaled on the spiral tower of a mansion you found on a foreign moor. hypothermia in the woods in the middle of winter, starvation in the streets of an English ghosttown, cut to death on the thorns of a hedge maze, struck down by a monster of your own making. idk. i just think they’re neat
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Hunter's Poem from the Big City, Hunter Hancock
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NaPoWriMo Vol. 3, 4.15.24
“Stamps“
Let me pay the postman
Who sends my s.w.a.k. away
Let me pay with penance
With pennants and reminders
Remainders of my taxes
Waxing moons and bent and broken spoons
Let me pay the postman
Who sends my parcel to partners
With letters laced with love
Doodles and daliance
And not delays
But in many many ways
Let me pay the postman
Who sends my love’s my love
With scribbles and scrabbles
Points both high and low
With leaves and petals
And victorious medals
Please postman let me pay
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artists!
Photo by my friend Mika
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I’ve always felt foreign to my own face.
- Raniah-Lilith Shahnaz, (11/12/2023 journal excerpt)
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Wanting for a Sprit
Ghastly laughs echo from a spirit-revived
Through a grating city,
A voice of velvet flows like rain
Leather-clad passion wrapped in pain
Knowing Cheshire grin
There is colourful chaos behind his eyes.
Black ringlets soaked in blood washed out from the downpour
Drip down like drops from the window I gaze from
Into the dark eerie streets he roams.
Wishing they were soaked from the sweat of my hand
Locked in a tight grip,
With the other smudging white into skin.
Wanting caught in my throat,
Yearning for a touch no mortal ever dared to yearn for before.
Can I call myself a woman? No woman wishes for a man
Turned ghost who vanishes into thin air
leaving criminals in his wake,
Bloodied bodies by his hand.
He hides behind black feathers-
This man, or ghost or ghoul,
Fills me with fantastic fantasies never felt by no woman before.
When the crow calls yowl late into the night,
Following screams of terror
Only revenge and protection have been burned off his agenda.
I hide from the dangers of our city behind walls and dumpster fires
For any chance to take as long a glance as possible
At the ghost returned to walk the Earth
a man I would follow into death
~Kaci O'Meara
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Euronymous- by me <333
(This poem is written from the point of view of Euronymous who is the lead guitarist of a Norwegian black metal band called Mayhem. A lot of people believed that the ideology of his band and who is qualified to even listen to their music was cult-like. So I give you a god, or in this case, satan complex that comes from the ego of Euronymous)
Raging sounds of satanic worship fueled my existence.
A difference within a difference was my promo.
Everyone’s demonic desires squelch
with plucks of my bloody fingers.
Six stringed instruments built my callus hands.
My birth name has no match
For what Satan has presented for me.
“Euronymous!”
they will scream.
I will peer from the deepest depths of my pedestal
And see worshipers praising,
Praising my new hellish name.
Death will be my friend
And he will guide my music to the deserved.
Fire within my soul
Will be used for the destruction
Of the humans of which I despise.
My rivals will fall.
Church bells will collapse upon them.
My true form will soar
All of the power from hell will be mine
Mayhem will be the word of the world
Euronymous will be the name of the new found god.
Dead.
Necrobutcher.
Manheim.
Hellhammer.
My cultists.
We shall share the unholy evig ære!
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The Darkness
No one knows it’s there
But everyone knows it exists.
It creeps, crawls, and slides
And is as silent as the wind.
The collection of all colors
It holds a place in all our hearts.
It has no origin, knows no end
And has no intention to stop.
It searches for a host
And then completely takes over.
No way to control, no way to prevent
A malicious and deadly killer.
No one knows it’s there
But everyone knows it exists.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -
Follow on TikTok @crypticpaw.official
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In the darkness I find my solace
Amidst the shadows, I seek my peace
In the moonlight, I am whole
In the abyss, I find release
My heart beats to a different tune
My soul sings to the darkest night
In the world of darkness, I find truth.
In the realm of shadows, I take flight.
I am a child of the night
Neither alive, nor dead
My existence is a question mark
Forever hanging over my head
But in my darkness, I find beauty
In my sorrow, I find strength
In my pain, I find purpose
And in my death, I find breath
For I am a goth, forever in black.
My heart beats to the rhythm of the night
And though I may wander in my darkness
I'll always find my light.
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The ghosts in my head seek forgiveness,
crawl through the wrinkles in my brain on their knees, whip in hand-
repenting.
Never baptised, not even close.
Peering out through my eyes, hungry.
A hunger only the dead can feel,
starved of life, hollow in the cheeks,
they want a taste of salvation-
don't we all?
They whisper amongst themselves, on occasion,
sometimes they they pray, sometimes they sing.
But, when it rains I let them out,
Watch as they splash around in puddles,
and waltz between the streetlights,
savouring, remembering, grieving.
Drunk on their desire to be real once more,
and pained by the reality that it cannot be.
They told me, once, how it feels:
"like a fish on a hook, waiting to be gutted! But, you'll find out soon enough"
I don't like how wide their eyes get,
or how big they grin.
As they climb back into their graves,
somewhere in the back of my skull,
they tell me what they miss,
tell me I will miss it one day, too,
the breeze, the sunshine, the vitality.
Make me promise to cherish every moment,
every tedious second,
"one day you'll be warning the same" they tell me.
"I know" I say,
I know
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I'm so in love with the trees in florida
They don't grow tall but they do spread wide
And the witches hair lays everywhere
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Hello my Spookies. today i have a special poem for you recited by me.
"Darkness" is Lord Byron's terrible tale of apocalypse and despair. In this narrative poem, a speaker dreams of a future in which the sun burns out and the whole world is left in darkness. Panicking, the survivors of this catastrophe gradually destroy all remaining life in their efforts to survive. Humanity, this poem suggests, is at the mercy of a vast and uncaring universe—and its own dark, selfish, violent impulses. This poem first appeared in Byron's 1816 collection The Prisoner of Chillon.
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what is my gender, asked death
my gender is red and black
ink drawings of eyes
a loverboy and a faggot and a boyfriend and a queer
im smudged eyeliner
black lipstick
leather trenchcoats and red hair
im tired and foreboding and angry
im rage and im kindness and im empathy
im a knife fight in the woods with your best friend
im the horror of existing served to you in the dark
im the bloodied hands of a heartfelt revenge
im the black ink dripping through your veins
im the end causing your extinction
and i am the beginning that swallows you whole
14 / 10 / 23
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NaPoWriMo Vol. 3, 4.1.24
“A Sword-Of..."
By any rights there is a tip
In which to puncture, pierce, or point
To take direction, or which to lead
Articulated as one would a joint
From that tip, so sharp as to let blood drip
Befalls a blade as sharp and shattered as battle let
It serves its purpose in its own service bled
To execute all direction, duty-pointed who have met
From tip to blade to hefted-hafted handle
Across from whom would so carefully guard
Where upon I place my hand
To carry this is not awfully hard
With swift movement to darken nightlight’s candle
This is not a heavy thing, yet burdensome to bear
Pommeled steel hold all so tight; yet little goes as planned
By my side with ease to wear
From heft to hit a sword is held
As civil shield or callous cutpurse; with it the world – be felled
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artists!
Photo by my friend Mika
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I'm just so tired of looking up at this lifeless ceiling and hearing all of you.
I'm so tired of your words, your questions.
How long must I pretend to have the answers?
When will the trees hide me in their burrow? When will the sky's tears reach down craving solace across my body once more?
For a woman that only seeks solitude in the arms of all that is honey-dewed fortress and winged-find,
the metal-walking caskets of people around me here seem determined on trying to force-feed me anything but.
Must I starve - if it means to avoid adapting to the tastes of poison?
Must I wither before the seasons let me leave?
I've never known winter to be people, to be a land, a time - until I woke up here.
- Raniah-Lilith Shahnaz (27/04/2022 journal excerpt)
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