the light of my life. the sunshine of my lifetime.

between the midnight and the morning

redactedverse | milo/sweetheart | rated: t | wc: 1.6k | warnings: none, unless you count gratuitous glimore girls references | read on ao3

“Sweetheart? What’re you doing?”

The last is more yawn than sentence, made less intelligible still by the huff of laughter at the choked yelp of his mate, cross-legged on the floor of their new home (and isn’t that just the most delicious phrase he’s ever heard or thought or felt). He only just catches the motion of their fingers clenching around the box in front of them before their edges shimmer and blur, their body wiped clean from sight like dry-erase ink from a whiteboard. Wax on, wax off.

They reappear half a thought later, fingers still pressing into the soft cardboard of the box they had apparently been unpacking at — he glances towards the glow of the stove clock — three o’clock in the morning. 

They release the box, one hand stretching to tap the spacebar of their laptop, perched atop a small stack of boxes near the one they’d been sorting through, the other hand lifting to push their headphones back from their ears, sliding them down around the back of their neck. 

“You scared me,” they say, lips curling into a tired demi-smile. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I was trying to be quiet.”

Milo lifts a brow. “Can I get that in writing? I just want to make sure I document this moment for posterity. I’m so used to being the only one in this relationship having the shit scared out of ‘em; this feels like a landmark moment.”

He crosses the dark kitchen to squat beside them and strokes a hand over their head, their hair soft and sleep-rumpled. “No, sweetheart, you didn’t wake me up. That one did.” A jerk of his thumb over a shoulder, gesturing toward the doorway. As if awaiting his cue, Aggro saunters into the kitchen, the shadows seeming to part for him before pressing back into the spaces left by the cat’s wake. 

They bare their teeth at the cat as he draws closer, although they obligingly stretch their fingers forward to rub his whiskers as he hunches onto the floor between them and Milo. “Traitor.” 

“If he’s betrayed anyone, sweetheart, I think I’ve got the stronger case,” Milo laughs. “Aren’t you supposed to be my cat, bud?” 

Aggro blinks up at him impassively before stretching onto the floor against his mate’s thigh, which makes them both snort — though Milo’s seems more out of derision than amusement.

“I can’t tell if he’s actually siding with me or just asserting his independence.”

“Either way, it’s fuckin’ disloyal.” 

“He don’t get no respect,” they murmur to Aggro in an affected drawl, stroking the top of the cat’s soft head. 

“And now I’m being mocked in my own house!”

He catches a quicksilver flash of grinning teeth before they look up at him, eyes wide and guileless, although he can’t help but notice the shadows smudging the hollows beneath them. “Is my impression that bad, or do you actually think you sound like Rodney Dangerfield?”

He rolls his eyes, but Milo can’t keep his mouth from curving upward as he looks at them. Looks at them both, his disloyal cat and bratty menace of a mate, curled against each other on the floor of their kitchen. Their kitchen, in their house. He wonders if he’ll ever stop marveling at this, at this life they’re building together. At the way his magic sings in their presence, the way his whole body feels warm and loose when they smile at him, every cell glowing and radiant as an ember. His mate. He loves them so fucking much. He even loves how much they’d tease him if they knew what he’s thinking, how they’d call him “sappy.” And so what if he is? He loves them. Why the hell shouldn’t he be driven to bouts of occasional sappiness by someone who makes him feel sappy, makes him feel grateful that he’s got so many perfectly ordinary parts of his life that feel anything but? That make him feel anything but? He has magic scintillating beneath his skin, burning bright as starfire in his veins, and it might as well be the cold dark space that surrounds stars for how dull that magic’s shine seems compared to the glittering haze of sitting on the kitchen floor beside a person who lets him love them. 

He settles fully onto the hardwood next to them, and reaches into the cardboard box they’d been rifling through when he walked in. Books. He pulls out a volume, and once again cocks a brow at his mate.

“So how’d we end up with a box of books in our kitchen?”

“Duh, cookbooks.”

“I don’t remember Molloy including any recipes.”

They roll their eyes and huff a laugh, reaching to pull the book out of his hands. “I don’t remember you reading Molloy.”

“Just ‘cause you don’t know if I’ve read something doesn’t mean I haven’t read it. We buy one house together and suddenly you know every book I’ve ever read?”

They laugh, and their face transforms, less hollow-eyed and less tired, and he’s glad. So glad he almost doesn’t ask the question he wants to ask, knows he has to ask.

He reaches a hand across to rest against theirs, thumb smoothing the soft, thin skin of their knuckles. “You wanna talk about it?” 

They tilt their head to one side, still smiling, though their eyes have dulled a bit again now. “Molloy?” 

“Sure, if that’s what got you out of bed and rooting around a box of books at three in the morning.”

Another laugh, another smile that doesn’t quite reach their eyes. “I think undergrad was the last time Samuel Beckett had me out of bed at three A.M. Even then, I was probably still in bed.” 

“All right,” he laughs softly and eases the book out of their hands, tucking it gently back into the box before taking their hands again. “So if it’s not the book…what’s really got you down here this late?”

They lace their fingers around his, squeezing gently. “Did you know there’s an episode of Gilmore Girls where the captioning is totally fucked?”

Milo gives a bark of surprised laughter. “What?”

“It’s true!” They tilt their head in the direction of their laptop, the screen still frozen in Netflix limbo. “In one of the episodes where Lorelai and Christopher are back together — Towards the end, you know? Absolute disaster. Anyway— he’s talking to her about his kid. Actually, I think it’s the one where he’s telling her he wants Gigi — that’s his daughter — to go to Paris. Anyway, so in other episodes where they’ve mentioned Gigi, the captions have always written her name as ‘G.G.’: capital G period, capital G period, which I always thought was weird, but whatever. In this episode, though, they started writing it as G-I-G-I, as in Hadid, right? But they clearly chose to do it as an edit, which they clearly chose to do via find-and-replace, because every single time the letter G appears consecutively in this episode’s captions, it’s been replaced with G-I-G-I. So now, instead of ordering pancakes and eggs with her coffee, we get to see Lorelai ordering coffee, pancakes, and egigis.”   

He exhales, both eyebrows now lifted. “I’m gonna skip past the fact that I have no idea who the hell any of those people are for now — and the fact that you pay close enough attention to the subtitles to notice spelling discrepancies — and go right to asking if you’re doing what I think you’re doing right now.” 

“You’d pay attention to these subtitles, too, believe me. They’re egregious. They’re egre-gigi-ous.”

He laughs again and squeezes their fingers with his own, tugging them gently forward, then presses a kiss to the back of one of their hands. “You doin’ okay, sweetheart? I worry when you start doing things like pinballing between topics and trying to spell egregious with two Gs.”

“Egregious has two Gs.”

“Not back-to-back it doesn’t.”

They sigh, and it’s as much a breath of laughter as it is of fatigue. “I’m okay. Just couldn’t sleep and got tired of lying in bed awake.” They stretch forward across the box of books, careful not to shift Aggro too much, and rest their forehead against Milo’s. “I’m good. Pinky promise.”

“That’s a very serious promise,” he says, and even though they’ve let their eyes slide shut, they can hear that he’s smiling. 

“Only kind of promise you’re allowed to make at midnight,” they say, tipping their chin forward to kiss him, briefly, before pulling back and disentangling their fingers from his to reach for the box of books again. 

“It’s not midnight,” Milo says.

“And it’s not raining.” Another glint of a grin and they’re rising, arms wrapped around the box. Aggro, now bereft of his backrest, gives a sleepy mrrp of protest and yawns, ears twitching. 

They shift the box in their arms long enough to bump their laptop shut with an elbow. Milo stands now, too.

“Now where are you going?” 

“You were right,” they shrug. “These aren’t kitchen books. Doesn’t really make sense to unpack them in the wrong room.”

“But unpacking them at three in the morning is totally reasonable.”

“Totally reasonable.” They smile at him again, standing in the doorway. “Almost as reasonable as going back to bed.”

“With the books?”

“Well, you were my first choice, but I guess I can revisit sleeping with Beckett.”

He rolls his eyes at them for the umpteenth time and pulls the box out of their arms. “You really are a piece of work, you know that?” He presses a kiss to their forehead. “Go back to bed. I’ll take the non-kitchen books to a non-kitchen room.”

“Okay,” they concede. “But don’t let me find you sneaking Molloy back out.”

Milo makes a noise somewhere between a growl and a laugh. “A piece of work,” he says again, following them out of the kitchen. 

They laugh, too, turning to look at him, tossing a bright smile over their shoulder. “Love you, too, Milo.”

feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!  

LAVENDER HAZE

meet me at midnight

oh, you don't ever say too much

i've been under scrutiny

all this shit is new to me

i'm damned if i do give a damn what people say

all they keep asking me is if i'm gonna be your bride

the only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife

they're bringing up my history, but you weren't even listening

get it off your chest

i just wanna stay

MAROON

how'd we end up on the floor anyway?

how the hell did we lose sight of us again?

ain't that the way shit always ends

i feel you, no matter what

and i wake with your memory over me

that's a real fuckin' legacy to leave

ANTI-HERO

i have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser

midnights become my afternoons

i should not be left to my own devices

one day I'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time

i'm the problem, it's me

i'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill

did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?

i have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

she's laughing up at us from hell!

SNOW ON THE BEACH

life is emotionally abusive

time can't stop me quite like you did

i'm unglued, thanks to you

you wanting me tonight feels impossible

it's fine to fake it till you make it

can this be a real thing, can it?

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID

i play it cool with the best of them

it's okay, we're the best of friends

i touch my phone as if it's your face

there's just one who could make me stay all my days

i waited ages to see you there

you're on your own, kid; you always have been

i picked the petals, he loves me not

i called a taxi to take me there

everything you lose is a step you take

you've got no reason to be afraid

MIDNIGHT RAIN

i wanted that pain

all of me changed

i broke his heart 'cause he was nice

i guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted

he never thinks of me

i guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted

i never think of him except on midnights like this

QUESTION...?

i swear that it was something

i don't remember who i was before you

i just may like some explanations

can i ask you a question?

did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

every single one of your friends was making fun of you

then what did you do?

did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

did you wish you'd put up more of a fight

do you wish you could still touch her?

it's just a question

i just may like to have a conversation

what's that that i heard, that you're still with her?

that's nice, i'm sure that's what's suitable

VIGILANTE SHIT

draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man

you did some bad things, but i'm the worst of them

sometimes i wonder which one will be your last lie

they say looks can kill and i might try

lately i've been dressing for revenge

i don't start shit, but i can tell you how it ends

don't get sad, get even

i'm on my vigilante shit again

BEJEWELED

i think I've been a little too kind

putting someone first only works when you're in their top five

i'm going out tonight

do you have a man?

familiarity breeds contempt

don't put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart

i polish up real nice

i think i've been too good of a girl

did all the extra credit then got graded on a curve

i think it's time to teach some lessons

LABYRINTH

‘it only hurts this much right now,’ was what i was thinking the whole time

i'll be getting over you my whole life

uh oh, i'm falling in love

you would break your back to make me break a smile

you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that

KARMA

you're talking shit for the hell of it

you wouldn't know what i mean

me and karma vibe like that

don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

ask me what i learned from all those years

ask me what i earned from all those tears

ask me why so many fade but i'm still here

SWEET NOTHING

they said the end is coming

everyone's up to something

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

on the way home i wrote a poem

you should be doing more

to you i can admit hat i'm just too soft for all of it

MASTERMIND

you and i ended up in the same room at the same time

what if i told you none of it was accidental

i laid the groundwork and then just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line

what if i told you i'm a mastermind?

if you fail to plan, you plan to fail

no one wanted to play with me as a little kid

this is the first time i've felt the need to confess

i'm only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause i care

yeah, all you did was smile

survey #008

“if there’s a god, why did he let the devil do his work on me?”

Are you currently mad at anyone? Nah, not actively. Do you like drawing on cement with chalk? I loved drawing with chalk as a kid. I mean I probably still would, but my fat ass and inadequately-muscled legs are NOT letting me get on the ground if I want back up, haha. When was the last time you went tanning? I've never deliberately tried to tan because I hate the feeling of heat literally cooking me. Do you like the smell of fresh cut grass? No. Have you ever worked at a party store? No. Are you creative? I think I am and have been told I am. Do you know how to play poker? Haha, it's funny, I did at a certain age as a kid, but now remember nothing as an adult. Do you always wear your seatbelt? Yes, always. Do you sing in the shower? No. Showers are fucking torture for me because of my legs so I get in and get the fuck out as fast as possible, I'm not concentrating on anything else. Have you ever been called a slut/whore/something along those lines? Only playfully by friends, never seriously. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly/didn't even know? Yes. Do you do drugs? No. Where do you want to get married? I have a few ideas. The absolute dream wedding would be in some sort of beautiful gothic building, like an old mansion, in the ballroom. I'll tell you right the fuck now I couldn't even dream of affording a venue like that though, so a more realistic option would be in some autumn woods, maybe by water or even a waterfall. Have you ever made yourself throw up? So, uh... I have tried. At my last job, when I was in the restroom having a panic attack and crying, I stuck my finger down my throat trying to force myself to vomit to give myself an extra reason to go home. And let me add how fucking TERRIFIED I am of the sensation of vomitting, if that helps give you an idea of how severely I was panicking. It didn't work. Honestly I probably would've kept trying if my co-worker hadn't come into the restroom making sure I was okay. Approximately two hours of fucking disaster. Have you ever fallen in love with a really good friend of yours? Haha yeah, I'm dating him rn. Do you own a blacklight? Not to my knowledge. Do you like fruit better than vegetables? Oh, absolutely. Have you ever been expelled from school? No. Do you believe you've met your soulmate or one of them? I don't believe in the concept of "soulmates." When did you last have grape juice? Literally the worst flavor of juice, ugh. I tried some back in March at the hospital because I really didn't want water, but I took one fuckin sip and got some water lmao. Have you learned anything today? Yeah honestly, but I don't wanna write an essay about it. Do you like the smell of coconut? Sure. It's not a favorite or anything, but it still smells fine. Do you prefer longer or short socks? Oh god, I used to be ALL over ankle socks, not feeling the sock stop there drives me FUCK-ING insane, like I can't wear them. I like socks that are at a normal length, really. Not terribly high, not very low. Do you like to leave your window open at night or do you use a fan? I have two fans that are always on in my room. If you find a spider in your home, do you set it free or kill it? I actually haven't been in this position in a very, very long time, considering these days I would want to catch it and let it out. How many pets have you had in your lifetime? I literally couldn't count, especially when we had a cat problem growing up. Do you sunburn easily? Ludicrously easily. What did you get into trouble for as a kid? Mostly for reasons related to being on the computer too much, fighting with my younger sister, and uhhh... idk. I was a good kid. What's something good that has happened here recently? Uh... idk. Like, there's stuff ig, but nothing remarkable. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My boyfriend. When did you last feel beautiful? Ugh I never do. ^ tries his hardest to assure me I am, but I just honest to god don't see what he does. Are you currently frustrated over something? Yeah. I just don't feel like getting into it. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yes. Do you enjoy going to yard sales or garage sales? It's not something we really *do*, but Mom and I both do like looking at random and obscure stuff. Do you like gummy bears? I do, gummy candy is the best. Do you ever get room service when staying in hotels? We barely ever, ever stay in hotels, but any time we have, we haven't gotten room service, to my memory. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom. Sara. Have you ever caught a fish? Many, growing up going fishing all the time with Dad. Can you honeslty say you love the last person you kissed? I can very very confidently say I'm in love with him. What does your last text mesage say? I don't feel like checking, but I think it was Dad sending me a picture from the plane he'd just boarded to go to Michigan (or Ohio?) to see family. What does the last person you kissed name start with? "D," though I don't call him by this name. How many people have you kissed in the last 5 months? One. When did you last have sex? Still never lmao we just haven't gotten to that point yet for multiple reasons I'm not gonna elaborate on. Like we're perfectly comfortable doing it, there are just a number of reasons why we haven't. When did you lose your virginity? ^ Does anyone call you baby? Girt, sometimes. It's not a regular, and I prefer it that way. What do you currently hear? "Armee der Tristen" by Rammstein. It's never going to end y'all Who was your first love? Jason, my high school boyfriend. What would you do if your doctor told you, you were pregnant? Well, given what I just said a few moments ago, I'd tell them they physically couldn't have the right person because I don't believe in immaculate conception. Do you still watch MTV? "Still?" I never did to begin with. Does the person you like know you like them? I make it pretty obvious. If you're dating someone how long have you been together? 10 months. What’s the longest relationship you have ever been in? 3 1/2 years. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion? Yes, and I promise you do too. It's not rare. People just don't talk about it because of the stigma. Have you ever kissed in the rain? Yeah. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? He literally spent the night a couple days ago. He's done it in the past too. I've never stayed at his place yet, though. Do you have a bad reputation? I wouldn't know, go ask people I associate with. Have you ever gone through a bad breakup? *performs Sign of the Cross* Has anyone ever used a cheesy pickup line on you? Idk, maybe. Would you ever want a statue made of you? Uh, ew. Has anyone ever called you dumb? Probably at some point. If we're including myself, then yeah that's like, daily. Do you have any cats? We have one. <3 Sometimes I want one more, but more often I'm content with just Roman, especially considering he would get out-of-this-fuckin'-world jealous. Have you broken anyone's heart? I don't know. Jason chopped me off and out of his life like a gangrenous limb, completely and entirely ceasing contact that I really don't have any way of knowing exactly how the breakup affected him. Tyler ACTED like I broke his heart after two fucking weeks when I can absolutely assure you I did not. He just had insane attachment problems. God I'm glad I said "fuck this, I'm out" when I did. What’s the craziest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? I've only ever heard one, which was basically that Jason and I magically had a baby over one summer. It was started by his ex, who had a grudge against me even BEFORE we dated, and she clearly did not think this shit through considering I was very slim in high school and clearly NOT pregnant at any point. Anyway, I'm friends with this person now. Things sure do change, haha. What’s the coolest name you’ve ever heard someone have? Ohhhh let's see... Well, I did have a friend named Journee (like "Journey") which I always thought was a beautiful, brilliant name for a person just going through and experiencing life. I am sadly 90% sure though she committed suicide because of something very serious she was dealing with at way too young of an age. No one should go through what she did, but never mind a child. She confided in me a lot, and during our last few messages, she was saying some concerning things and then just disappeared, permanently. What’s your least favorite genre of music and why? Rap, probably. I just don't like what is typically sung about and just the whole style of it. There are rap songs I love, but in general it's just not for me. What did you last complain about? I actually don't know. Did you ever like nursery rhymes as a child? What was your favorite? I did. I remember liking "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" as well as that "This Little Piggy" one, whatever its proper name is, because it involved Mom tickling me. What do you usually purchase at gas stations? (aside from gas of course) If I get anything, it's likely to be a certain flavor of Mountain Dew, and then I'll sometimes get a sort of candy. Do you drink regular or diet soda? Only regular. The artificial sweetener in diet sodas gives me a headache, but diet is also just gross imo. What’s one of your favorite artists/bands, and least favorite song from them? All right let's go with Ozzy. There are a few of his songs I'm just sorta "meh" about, but if I remember it correctly, I believe I wasn't into "Diary of a Madman" at all. Have you ever seen them live? Bitch I would cry lmao. I would LOVE to see Ozzy, especially with it being so clear he's in his twilight years with all the health issues he's been fighting. Seeing Ozzy live would without a goddamn doubt be a very strong highlight of my life. Mom and I actually WERE planning on seeing him, all the way in Charlotte, but then that tour had to be cancelled due to the arrival of health problems. Can't say I know if he's planning another, but I would think so with a new album in the future. Do you consider graffiti to be true art or just messy? I mean, it can be both. Depends on where it's at, the content itself, everything. What last overwhelmed you? In a recent survey I mentioned that I don't know what really qualifies as sensory overload, but dear god I think I experienced it at Girt's place when Mom and I went there for an early 4th celebration. SO many people were talking about different things and I was trying to be aware and listen to everyone, but it just wasn't possible. I was so overstimulated with all the noise that I literally didn't even process what my mom was eventually saying directly to me; like I just stared at her blankly and had to come back to just me and her to understand anything. What did you last watch on TV? Girt and I were watching a Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach speedrun via YouTube on the TV the other night. We were curious because of the insane amount of glitches in that game how fast you could really do it. Do you know anyone who keeps a Christmas tree up year round? I mean I might, but not that I know of. What’s the strangest video you’ve ever seen? Oh brother, who knows, I've been on the Internet too long. Though I will say I actually haven't seen like... *any* of the notoriously gross and/or shocking videos because I cherish my eyes. They suck, but I cherish them lmao. Have you ever received a present that made you cry? Oh jeez, that's easy to do. Do you know of any haunted buildings in your town? No. I know of a location with false origins that portray it as haunted, but it's just literally not true. What’s the most random song on your playlist that people wouldn’t expect? HAHA at Girt's place, Mom was VERY surprised to learn Brittney Spears is on my iPod lmaooo. When did you last receive a business card from somebody? I haven't the slightest idea. Would you try that Flaming Hot Mountain Dew? ... I do wanna try it... lmaooo. I love both so I mean... leave me alone, haha. When it was first revealed, all the reactions made me feel horrible about myself, ahaha. Do you own any adult coloring books? Yeah, somewhere. What did you last draw or write down? Uh, probably my signature. Have you ever played pinball on a machine or just online? I've played it on machines before. Have you ever had a bad sunburn? I once had sunburn so bad it was actually sun poisoning. It was fucking excruciating.

your opinion is wrong - paxton hall yoshida x reader

wc: 1.4k

pairing: paxton x shy!fem!reader (she/her)

genre: angst with a fluffy ending

warnings: moderate upsetting bullying, reader has been bullied in the past, lightly implied neurodivergant reader (hyperfixations/socializing does not come naturally) but could also be social anxiety so it's open to interpretation, warror cats and my little pony slander, mention of being on adderall as a joke, reader has something akin to an anxiety attack and has to leave a party (also open to interpretation), reader hears male voices yelling in the distance, paxton is a loving and protective boyf, trent is the ultimate homeboy

summary: when the party you're at takes a turn for the worse, paxton is there to stand up for you and help you turn the night around.

song rec: the first song or two of your comfort album

mine are this december - ricky montgomery, and are you satisfied - marina (tw for possibly upsetting lyrics)

a/n: I don't remember specifically getting bullied but I also don't remember a lot of my childhood so who knows

anyway I hope you like this!! paxton is a good boyfriend

also!! not proofread cause I'm incapable of doing that ig :/

“Nah dude, I can just tell,” Ethan, one of the guys from the swim team says, “she was totally one of those kids that were like… really into like, warrior cats, or some shit,” his words taper off as he holds back a laugh.

You’re close enough to hear what he’s saying, and you’re sure he has to be aware of this. You continue scrolling through your phone, not paying attention to what you’re looking at, trying to seem busy and not uncomfortable. You hope it looks convincing. You look behind you, trying to seem inconspicuous. Paxton should be back with your drinks any minute.

“Like,” he adorns a falsetto valley girl voice, overexaggerated mannerisms punctuating his words, “that’s bright star, the bitchiest tabby from the rival clan… we’ve been feuding since that slut stole my sardines.”

You don’t even remember that much of the warrior cats books you happened to read in elementary school, and even you know that’s not at all accurate. You continue to sit in painful silence, those familiar hot waves of shame beginning to come over you.

“Or like, fuckin’,” he continues, feeding off the laughter he’s drawing from the group surrounding him, “my little pony or some shit. Like, hi hi, I’m pinky cakes and I’m on adderall!” he continues in a shrill falsetto, letting out a torrent of high pitched giggles.

You stare right through your phone, trying your hardest to ignore the mockery falling thoughtlessly from his lips. It’s really unnecessary. You know you’re quiet, you’re perfectly aware of how much you struggle to socialize the way most people seem to effortlessly. Sure, you take solace in the escapism you find in books and movies and tv shows, you have since you were little, but that doesn’t mean that you - or anyone for that matter - should be ridiculed for it. You can’t count the amount of comfort shows or little hobbies you’ve had to drop cold turkey because someone mocked them and you couldn’t look at them without triggering shame and guilt spirals.

You feel like you’re going to throw up. Your fight or flight response begins to act up, and you jiggle your leg, trying to deny the urge to run as fast and as far as you can.

“Fuckers naruto running through the halls,”

Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it...

“-the most annoying type of person,”

You have to get out of here right now.

The instinct consumes you, and you stand up, bolting to the door as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. You angle your head down, hoping no one will see the tense, scrunched up look on your face you’re trying desperately to control, or the wall of tears, growing and blurring your vision into swirling abstract colors. You’re glad you already knew where the door was, or navigating your way through the sea of people would be impossible.

“Hey.”

A hand reaches for your arm. Normally you would dodge gracefully, nothing coming in between you and your need to escape, but you immediately recognize the hand as Paxton’s. Your brain stalls, that disgusting feeling still fully saturating your body, and you freeze at the contact. You don’t look at him. His stomach drops.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, in more of a statement, coming closer to you. He hands the drinks he was holding to a passerby, who replies with a ‘thanks man,’ and continues on his way.

Paxton is already in front of you, a hand coming up to rest comfortingly on his cheek. One look at your face and he understood instantly.

“Can we just go home?” you try to say, but your throat tightens up as soon as you begin, cutting off your words. He understands in spite of this, and is already leading you to his car.

He opens the passenger side, helping you in and buckling your seatbelt. He turns to you before he closes the door.

“I’m going to go say bye to Trent and Marcus real quick, I’ll be right back. Why don’t you pick out some music?” He offers, giving you a tender kiss on the cheek and a reassuring squeeze to your hand. You nod, and he closes the door.

You pair your phone with his car speakers, and scroll through your saved playlist. You pause, realizing exactly what you need, and start playing one of your favorite comfort albums. You lipsync along to the words, the familiar words and melody, even the order of the songs providing an immediate sense of relief. You take deep breaths along with the music, heart rate starting to slow, emotions beginning to settle.

You open the window slightly, feeling grounded and refreshed by the cool night air. Before you can take two breaths, the sound of yelling emanates from the house, just audible over the synth pop dance track playing on the multiple speakers inside. Your whole body tenses automatically, and you roll the window back up, turning your attention back on the music. A few minutes later, the driver’s side door opens, and Paxton slides in. He takes your hand.

“Are you okay?” he says gently, but not patronizing. You can tell he’s sincere. “Trent told me what happened.”

You let out a shaky deliberate sigh, squeezing his big hand with your shaking one.

“Why… does this always happen?” you say quietly, “Right when I think-” You cut yourself off, thoat closing up as tears well in your eyes again. You look down, focusing on your breath.

Paxton traces his thumb over your knuckles.

“Those guys are assholes.” He says definitely, “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, princess,” his free hand rests on your cheek, turning your face towards him. He doesn’t make you look at him, just presses a warm kiss to your forehead.

“They also think dumb and dumber and beevis and butthead are cinematic genius. I don’t trust their taste in movies, or people.”

You let out a weepy laugh, and you can both tell you’re feeling better.

“You wanna go home, play some video games?”

You nod gently.

“We can play genshin impact…” he tantalizes, and you smile.

“You really want to see me fly off cliffs and scream at every hilichurl that appears?”

You both laugh.

“I always want to watch you cliff dive and collect fruit and plants.” You smile.

He pulls out of the driveway, and you decide on where to get food before going back to his place. Paxton orders for you, and you wait until your order is called. His phone rings, and he answers the call from Trent.

“Mission accomplished bro. Me and Marcus kicked those douchebags out, and sent the vid to coach. Their asses will get benched at best.”

He lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks Trent.”

You look up at him.

“Everything okay?” You ask. He looks down at your sparkly eyes, your hands holding onto his arm, and his heart squeezes.

“Yeah, Trent’s just checking that we got home okay.”

“Tell him I say hi,” you say, turning back to your phone. He relays the message, and goes to pick up your food.

Soon you’re curled up on his couch, button smashing your way through a domain, yelling at monsters, with Paxton cheering you on. Your legs are thrown over his lap, his hand squeezing your thigh in encouragement.

“Sorry!” you yell, finally wearing down a monster to zero hp. He watches you, enthralled by the game, enthralled by life. Your beauty, all aspects and facets of it, are so blindingly obvious to him, how could anyone not see it? It really makes no sense to him, solidifying the feeling of needing to protect you, the way you care for and nurture a beautiful flower garden.

“Yes!” you cheer, completing the level. You throw your arms around him, and he holds you tight.

“I’ve never won that fast,” you say, a blinding smile on your face.

“I know,” he says, his expression mirroring yours, “that was amazing, babe.”

“I still can’t believe that happened,” you muse. Overcome with love and adoration for you, Paxton pulls you in close, catching your lips with his. After a moment, he pulls away. You look down, cheeks warm.

Ever since your first kiss, he’s wondered how long that feeling would last. At this point, watching you giggle, and bury your face in the crook of his neck, he thinks that maybe it never will. He hopes he’s right.

The boys (+undateables?) reactions when they discover MC is actually a vampire?

....so I’m a dingus and didn’t realize that this was also for the undateables and just wrote it for the brothers, my bad 😅 Part two maybe? 👀

WARNING: as this is about vampires, it’s a little bit morbid. I strayed away from being too graphic, but y’know. Vampires. There’s death and blood and such. 

Enjoy! :D

~

Lucifer

In hindsight, he really should have figured it out on his own.

But it’s not like he’s been around enough humans lately to know what Normal human behavior is. 

So he just kinda took your... quirks at face value.

So what if you’re far too comfortable with the Devildom’s constant state of nighttime? Solomon doesn’t seem to mind it either, so maybe humans are just more nocturnal now.

And perhaps your Very Strong aversion to garlic is a little odd, but Mammon wouldn't eat it either for the first 600 years of his life, so it’s not that weird.

You’re also not phased by constantly being surrounded by demons and monsters, which is a little strange, but maybe you’re just like the ancient greeks. A monster fucker.

You feeling right at home in the Devildom is auspicious for the exchange program, so he doesn’t bother dwelling on it.

Though maybe he does find it a little bit weird when you really insist that he start drinking cranberry juice.

(It’s just for health benefits of course, totally has nothing to do with you prepping your next meal)

So what, you may ask, triggers his big lightbulb moment?

You fall off the roof.

And you just get right back up.

Now he knows that humans aren’t supposed to be THAT durable, so he stops you from scaling the side of the fucking house with your bare hands, and very eloquently asks you, “What the fuck?” 

You shake him off. “What? Mammon and I are playing roof-ball.” 

Lucifer stares. “You fell. I saw how hard you hit the ground. You should be dead.”

You laugh. “Dead? Just from a little fall like that? Are you serio-ohhh wait. You don’t know, do you?” 

You give him your biggest, cheesiest grin and—oh. 

Fangs.

...And now he understands why you want him to drink cranberry juice.

Mammon

You are, by far, the weirdest human he’s ever met. 

Which is saying something, because Solomon is literally just a few blocks away.

Seriously, despite camping out in your room nearly every single night, Mammon has never seen you sleep, he’s pretty fucking sure that sometimes you don’t even breathe, you won’t step foot into the House of Lamentation unless someone invites you in, and who the hell hates garlic that much?? 

But you’ve also expressed your intense dislike for crosses, so he supposes that you’re not unredeemable. 

Just weird.

But it’s incredibly annoying how you wont sleep. Your tossin’ and turnin’ is killing him, why the fuck can’t you just settle down? You need to just put your DDD down and sleep already, dammit.

He sits up, ready to tear you a new one—and pauses. 

“Um,” his voice is high, somewhat uncertain, and your eyes snap over to look at him. “Why are you looking at coffins for sale?” 

You sigh, a bit wistfully. “I just can’t stand sleeping in a bed anymore. I didn’t want to be rude, so I really did try, but it's been a couple hundred years since I last had one and it’s just murder on my back. I think I’m gonna just have to get a coffin. They’re so much more comfortable.” 

Briefly, Mammon considers running. 

Instead, he says, “What the fuck?” 

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “You do know I’m a vampire, right?” 

...What the fuck—

Mammon lays back down—crosses his arms over his chest with a huff and pretends that he isn’t totally freaked the fuck out. “‘Course I do, don’t be stupid. Now go to sleep already.” 

So that he can escape before you try to eat him.

“Mammon,” you sing, leaning over the bed to loom over him. He swallows hard—can’t look away from your sharp, toothy grin. 

You coo, “I can hear the scared little pitter patter of your heart, darling.”

He squeaks.

Levi

Honestly, Levi is so so happy to have another irl friend who’s into video games that he looks past your strangeness.

You like to stay indoors and play games!! That’s something he has in common with you that his brothers don’t, and that’s all that matters!

...Though he does find it a little weird how sometimes you just kinda sniff him. 

The first dozen times he nearly had a heart attack, and when he asked why you were doing it, he Really wasn't expecting you to shrug and say “I dunno, you just smell tasty” 

Seriously. Tasty? Are you Beel or something, what’s that supposed to mean?!

He’s not entirely sure why you’re a bit of a shut in gamer though, because despite your, ah, quirks, you’re still so much cooler than he is, so what’s the deal with that?

When he asks, you just shrug and say, “Old habits die hard, I guess. Real sunshine hurts, but virtual doesn’t, so I just got kinda used to living through games and staying indoors.”

“Oh.” Levi’s a bit surprised, but sympathetic. “So, you sunburn easily?” 

He’s not entirely sure why you’re laughing now, since that wasn’t a joke. He was just trying to be friendly :(

But then you hug him and he’s too flustered to be offended anymore jndcks

So, when does it finally click for Levi that you’re a vampire?

You guys are having a game night in his room.

He accidentally takes a sip of your caprisun and realizes, very quickly, that it is not the refreshing juice of a caprisun pouch.

He throws up a little bit.

And screams.

And maybe blacks out for a few seconds.

But when he finally calms down and lets you explain, he’s pretty damn enchanted, because this is just like Help, My Roommate Is A Vampire And I Didn’t Know Until A Vampire-Hunter Mistook Me For Them And Attacked Me!! :D 

Satan

Satan considers himself to be somewhat of a detective, y’know. His brain is just filled to the brim with Big Smarts

Naturally, he puts that jelly thicc thought tank of his to good use and realizes very quickly that you aren’t totally human. 

At first, he isn’t totally sure what you are.

And then a coffin gets delivered to the house, which upon seeing you cheer “Oh sweet, my new bed!!” aaaand he puts the pieces together.

You become somewhat of a case study to him. You’re the first vampire he’s ever encountered and he just wants to know everything and anything about your life.

He’s so intrigued by you.

But you frustrate him SO much.

He wants to know about how you were turned!! It’s not like he has any other vampires that he can ask about their experience!! And you fucking tell him a different story every day!!

“A cat jumped over my deceased body!”

“I was stabbed and the wound wasn’t treated with boiling water!” 

“On a dark and stormy night, I came across a palace and the owner, a hospitable gentleman, let me take refuge there. But then, I quickly realized that I was actually a hostage, and when I tried to escape, that fucker turned me!”

“Nobody put an obolus in my mouth to pay the toll of the Styx, so Charon the ferryman sent me back! What a great guy.” 

“A chupacabra bit me!”

Needless to say, he considers breaking the wooden leg off one of the dining room chairs and stabbing you with it, but the lecture he would get from Lucifer just isn’t worth the effort. 

He’s gonna pull the truth out of you one of these days.

Asmo

“My my, darling, what sharp teeth you have~” Asmo purrs, lifting a finger to brush against them, doe-eyes wide and curious. “The better to eat me with, hopefully?” 

You smile. “Something like that.”

And you fuckin’ bite his finger.

His scream is fantastic. If you actually draw blood next time, maybe he’ll even shatter the windows! 

He swats your leg sharply with a silk folding fan and cries, “What if you had broken my skin!? Do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into maintaining this soft, supple skin?! What’s wrong with you, you psychopath?”

“Don’t hit me,” you pout, scooting away from him. “I couldn’t help it! You just smell so sweet and I haven’t had any blood in a while, so—”

“Huh?” Asmo blinks, looking a bit confused. Then recovers far too quickly and waggles his eyebrows at you. “Oh, so that’s what you’re into! What a pleasant surprise~” 

You thunk him on the back of the head. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to tease a vampire?”

Asmo’s grin could rival the sun.

“A vampire?! Well why didn’t you say so sooner?” 

He’s already taking off his shirt.

“Get over here already and take a bite out of me~”

Beel

When he finds out that you’re a vampire, his first thought is to worry over if you can eat normal food or not.

He’s very relieved when you tell him that you can, so long as you’ve had enough blood, but that garlic is a very big no-no.

Naturally, you two bond over how both of you never quite feel full. 

It’s not uncommon for the other house members to find you two laying face down on the floor, tummies rumbling, whining about how you’re staaaaarving

You carry around snacks for him, and Beel makes sure that you’ve always got access to blood (whether that means stashing blood bags, letting you feed from him, or a combo of both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

He’s probably going to be the least weirded out by your ~undead tendencies~

Honestly, he’s a bit relieved by how strong you are. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or see you get hurt, and it gives him peace of mind when he realizes that you’re actually pretty durable!

But it does give him a fucking heart attack the first time he sees you yeet yourself out a second story window to crush poor, poor unassuming Mammon.

He also really loves how your body temperature naturally runs cold. He’s a space heater, you’re an icicle—it just works. Snuggle time is good :)

He totally compares the size of your incisors with his jkdcnkj

He just thinks you’re really neat!!!

But he is very sympathetic about how you cant eat good garlic bread :(

Belphie

Listen.

We all know this emo boy is a vampire fucker, probably even more so than Asmo.

(He read Twilight. He saw all the movies. He had merch.)

(Fuck Edward and Jacob though, he was Team Alice all the way.)

(If he can stay awake long enough, he reads really shitty vampire romance novels.)

He just thinks vampires are hot, okay? He can’t help that his soul longs to be a vampire fucker.

Just accept it into your heart. Belphie already has.

So needless to say, he’s THRILLED when he finds out that you’re a vampire. He tries to play it cool though and pretends that he isn’t immediately trying to jump your bones dfghjkjh

He overheard you telling Satan that you got bitten by a Chupacabra, and they’re known for going after cows right? 

He is a cowboy, y’know, guess you’re just gonna have to go to him now when you’re thirsty, y’know, since you were bitten by a Chupacabra. it just makes sense, really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(No it doesn’t)

(But let’s be real, are you gonna pass up the chance to snuggle the shit out of him AND get a snack out of it? No. No you’re not.)

(He totally makes you arm wrestle Beel to recreate the “Iconic” twilight scene with Emmett and Bella.)

(When he realizes that you’re strong, he’s gonna make you give him piggyback rides, just like Edward and Bella :) and no he doesn’t care how ridiculous you both look)

Poly party summer fun headcanons, part 2 ! 😀 (this got way too long so I’m posting it as it is, and if I get more ideas, or if you guys want to send me anything 😉, I’ll either reblog this post or make a new one.) Enjoy!

(part 1 can be found here)

Amusement park: (these are based on amusement parks I have been to since they're all I know, lol)

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

- they go early so they can do everything (twice) but they also stay until it gets dark bc El wants to see all the lights

- one of her favorite rides is the big ship that swings back and forth because it feels like flying

- Max, Lucas, and Dustin take El on her first roller coaster ride, and it's super scary but she also loves it (Robin and Nancy go, too)

Lucas and Dustin scream like little girls on the roller coaster and become the butt of many jokes about it (most of them from Max)

Max and Lucas would totally try to kiss for the roller coaster camera (idk why okay, stop me) but the photo would look absolutely ridiculous and Max’s hair is fuckin EvERYWHERE

El uses some of her money to buy a copy of the photo (she buys a copy of their photo from every ride, it's a lot of money, but the others help her out with it), and when she gets home, Will helps her make a collage of all the photos that she puts up in her room

- El also wants caricatures, but they don't have enough money for everyone (so she just gets one of herself). Will watches the artist, who gives him tips on how to do it so he can draw some for El later (and he totes does bc good brother vibes)

- they do the ferris wheel last bc it is super romantic (even more so at night), and everyone wants to go with everyone else. Max wants to go up every time someone else does bc she wants to try to spy on them, lol

Groups, in order from side to other side (sitting, not riding order):

for her very first time: Max/El/Mike (her two bffs, aka her bf and gf)

Mike/Will

Max/Lucas

Dustin/Suzie

El/Max/Lucas

El/Mike/Will

El/Mike

El/Max

the guy running the ferris wheel is just like “you kids again???” bc they keep just getting off the ride and going straight to the back of the line to go up again, but eventually they have to stop bc the park is literally about to close and they’ll be kicked out

- there's also a haunted house ride and El absolutely has to ride with Mike bc when she is scared or feels like she's in danger, he's always been the best at making her feel okay again. She clings to him throughout the ride, but ends up laughing at how cheesy not-scary most of the effects are.

- as exhilarating as the drop rides are, El doesn’t like going on them too much but she can do it like, once. maybe twice.

- Lucas and Max, and Dustin and Will, like that ride that’s like the ferris wheel except you’re in a cage and you can manipulate the cage (by spinning it and stuff) to take you upside down. Dustin and Max do it too much, like to an extreme, and Will and Lucas are like “stop, the world is literally spinning” and they’re very disoriented when they get off

- there’s a rapids ride, and since the rafts are big enough to hold 8 people, the whole party is able to go together in one, and then the teens can go together in another one. they totally get sprayed by bystanders. 

- there's a shooting game (like where you go through a tunnel on a track, and targets pop up and you shoot them)

Lucas is the best and El rides with him bc the best should introduce the newbie, and she has so much fun, it's nothing like the guns she's experienced in her previous (lab) life.

Max and Dustin fight really hard to be second best.

Mike and Will go together and compared to the others, they suck, but that's okay they have fun anyway, and they joke about their own terribleness.

- Dustin buys those deep-fried snacks (you know the ones I mean) and he is literally the only person in the group that likes them (okay, not true, Robin can handle them, too)

El, against the advice of the others, wants to try those snacks bc she’s never heard of anything like that before, and the first time she takes a bite, her face goes through a range of like 10 emotions bc she’s being assaulted by flavors-

but after she manages to swallow it, she’s like “wow, that was amazing” and the others are like “...you serious??”

Mike is just like “that is disgusting and I’m not kissing you after that lol” and El is just like “but...why?” (he totes does tho, he doesn’t give a f, he’s kissing his gf bc he just can’t resist the cuteness)

Nancy, even though she doesn’t necessarily like it, can totally handle taking a bite and finishing it (like that beer from season 1) and Robin is like “that’s impressive, band geek” and Nancy’s just like “I’m not in band” (idk lol)

- El wanting to try EVERY food but the others have to cut her off bc it’s so expensive and she will get so sick

- Mike being a good bf and holding souvenirs bought by his bf and gf (Will totally buying a sweet little something for his awesome mom) (El totally doing the same thing to remind herself of Hopper, but she keeps it in her room instead)

- Lucas also being a good bf for the same reason but complaining about it, lol

- everyone goes on the log ride (you might know it as the flume) bc there isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t like that ride, and even tho she knows about the impending splash, El is still super surprised when it happens

Groups, in order (front to back):

El, Mike, Max, and Lucas (Max is explaining to El over Mike’s shoulder that “you absolutely HAVE TO be in the front, it’s the best way”)

Suzie, Dustin, Steve, and Robin (irrelevant but don’t tell me Robin sits in front of Steve, there’s no fuckin way, she’s not his gf, also Steve and Dustin just have to sit together bruh)

Will, Dustin (bc obvsly he goes on again), Nancy, and Jonathan

Mike has his arms around El like he thinks he’s going to protect her from the huge spray of water (but his skinny arms won’t protect shit lol) and he somehow manages to make a decent photo come out of him kissing her cheek while she is simultaneously screaming (good screaming)

- everyone loves the bumper cars (Jonathan and Suzie hang back tho, to hold everyone’s stuff and cheer from the side)

Max, as the only one (sans teens) who has actually driven a car before, rides with El so she can teach her how to do it

her and Lucas (with his passenger Will) are automatically in competition with one another (”you’re going down!” “no, YOU’RE going down!”)

Robin, riding by herself, goes after Steve and driver Nancy (who’s surprisingly good at this)

and Dustin (passenger Mike) gangs up with Robin to take on Steve and Nancy, which makes Nancy even more determined now to destroy both of them

Steve’s a little afraid of Nancy when she’s like this, lol

eventually Dustin and Robin are like “okay okay, we’ll stop! jesuschrist, how did you get so good at this??” (but also they are just in total awe of Nancy) and they just go after each other instead

- El doesn’t like spinning rides (too dizzy and they totally make her tummy “feel weird, like there’s a storm in it” “uh oh, you’re nauseous, El” “naw-shus?” “yeah, like sick, here, sit down for a minute”), but Will loves them and he’s there for her

- the sky ride (the one that takes you from end of the park to the other), groups:

Mike and Will on one side, Max and El on the other (the seats are basically little cabins, seats for 4 people)

Lucas and Dustin on one side, Jonathan and Steve on the other

Robin on one side (she totally takes up the whole double space, putting her leg up), Nancy and Suzie on the other

- carousel ride! (during the day)

El wants the prettiest horse

Max gets the most badass thing which is like...a wolf??

Lucas and Dustin ride only bc there’s a game where you can try to throw rings into a hole while going around (they each get one in by pure luck but otherwise suck). they don’t really care what animals they get, they just need ones that move up and down. Dustin gets a cat with a fish in his mouth, and Lucas ends up just picking a rabbit before everything is taken and he doesn’t have a choice anymore. The others fuckin laugh at the image of Lucas riding a rabbit

Suzie gets another horse

Will gets a lion which doesn’t move up and down but he’s okay with that, he’s kinda just going bc everyone else is

Mike gets stuck with a horse bc he was at the back of the group and by the time he gets there, every other non-horse animal is taken (but they joke about how he should have gotten the non-moving giraffe, taken by Steve, bc it’s so tall and gangly like him lol)

Nancy gets a horse

Robin takes the wild boar bc “dude that is the most badass animal on a carousel I have ever seen!”

Jonathan stays behind, no matter how much the others beg, but he takes lots of really good pictures (including the one time Dustin gets the ring in the hole and then cheering, then also him and Lucas high-fiving, and the various couples exchanging really cute looks, and El having the best time ever bc she’s never been on one of these before)

they go on the carousel one more time near the end of the night and this time Jonathan gives in and rides with them, but he sits in one of the benches that’s just there for the parents), and he still takes pictures as best he can without getting up and moving

- photo booth photos! (I’ll leave the silly face ones up to your imagination)

El and Max (one super close hug with faces pressed together, one kiss, one silly faces, and one smiles)

Will and Mike, but Max and El totally burst in for like, the last 1.5 pictures, it doesn’t ruin them tho, Mike and Will just ignore them (one nice smiles bc they’re like “what do we do??”, one hug, one kiss being interrupted by the girls in the background, one candid laughing while the girls wave at the camera)

Will and Mike again (one candid of Mike holding the curtain shut to make sure no interruptions and Will laughing, one kiss (non-interrupted), one silly faces, one just being super cute and close together and leaning on each other)

Max and Lucas (one smiles, one kiss, one of her pretending to look tough by putting him in a headlock or putting a fist next to his face like a punch, one that was supposed to be funny faces but instead is her looking off to the side where Mike has opened the curtain and stuck his head (with his tongue out) in as revenge and Lucas with that look of “dude, really??” on his face)

Dustin and Suzie (one kiss, one smiles, one nose-to-nose, one super close together leaning on each other cute)

Mike and El (one smiles, one kiss, one of him like surprise-trying to pull her into his lap kind of thing idk and her just looking super surprised but happy but also Max is in the background ruining YET ANOTHER picture, and one candid of them giggling about the previous picture with their foreheads pressed together almost nose-to-nose)

Mike and El again bc she wants non-interrupted photos (one with her actually sitting in his lap this time (she did this beforehand so he wouldn’t scare her again with the surprise-pulling thing), one of them pretending to look all hoity-toity like super models, one with her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist and they’re all close and cute sort of candid, and one just like the last one except they’re looking at the camera and smiling)

Will and Mike and El (one with Mike in the middle while his gf and bf give him a kiss on each cheek, one with El hanging over Mike’s shoulders in sort of a half-piggyback and he and Will are laughing, one with Mike and Will kissing while El makes a funny face at the camera, one of them all making funny faces at the camera)

Max and El and Mike (one with El in the middle, Max’s arms are around her waist almost dipping her backwards, her legs are up in the air (as far up as they can go in the tiny booth) and her head is tilting back onto Mike’s shoulder with his arms around her shoulders and he’s pressing a kiss to her hair, one with El kissing Mike’s cheek while he and Max make funny faces, one with Max behind them and her arms over both of their shoulders pulling them all close and their faces squished together with this super big cheesy grin while Mike is laughing at El’s funny face, one with Mike and El kissing and Max sitting next to them making the 👌🏻 symbol and winking at the camera, bc she just has to get sassy)

Bonus, more teens:

- Robin takes Steve on all the crazy rides (aka drags him, makes him go, etc.) They both get a little sick, but for her it's totally worth it (for him...not so much)

- Dustin and Robin get along hella bc he joins them on the crazy rides and is just @steve like “what are you, a pussy?”

- Nancy has to remind Jonathan that the kids will be FINE, and they don't need to hover around them all evening, "let's go enjoy ourselves"

- Nancy likes roller coasters, CHAnGE mY MInD

- Steve and Robin totally scream when they go on the drop ride together, except Robin’s scream is more “holy shit, exhilarating and so exciting! whooooo!” while Steve’s is more “this is fun but also I’m totally gonna die!!”

- Steve is a boss at those games where you have to throw something at/into/onto a target and he wins a stuffed animal

- Robin is p decent at those games too, but she’s not a match for the king (she comes close though, they actually turn it into a competition to see who can win more stuff)

- Nancy kicks butt at that game where you shoot a spray of water and make the target thing rise to the top or race or whatever (any shooting game, really), you know what I mean (Jonathan fucking fails, sorry Jonathan)

- Steve totally wins that game where you swing a mallet and try to ring the bell. Robin doesn’t win but she gets way closer than they thought she would and Steve’s “wtf”. Dustin is also stronger than he looks, and even tho he doesn't win, he can at least lift the (smaller) mallet, which is more than any of the others can do.

- Robin HAS to do that game where you try to climb the flat, almost horizontal rope ladder to the end and she doesn’t even make it halfway before she falls, but it’s hilarious

- Nancy also tries that game after some goading from the others, and she makes it farther than Robin (about halfway) but still fails fantastically. And then she takes a bow.

Nine (Van McCann)

Just a silly little fic where Van is sporadic regular at a coffee shop.

Part 1

Part 2 

Saturday morning.

You’ve already baked cinnamon buns and the peacan pie by time Carly officially opens up the café at 8. The smell of freshly baked goods circling the shop, Carly hums in appreciation, hovering in the kitchen to see what she can rob for breakfast.

Toby arrives at half 8, Carly all too gladly standing back from the coffee machine. He hovers by the kitchen door a few minutes later, thanking you again for last night while you’re pulling a tray of breakfast muffins out of the oven.

“Sure you didn’t lose something?” You ask him, he only blinks, a questioning ‘no?’, and you tug his keys from your pocket.

“Are they my- shit, where’d you find them?!”

Fragmented story telling about last night, about Van, between serving customers. You still feel a rush of lightheadedness when you think about last night, think about Van. Heartbeat kicking up in a weird little pitter-patter rhythm - something you only associate with kittens and Hugh Grant films. Toby listens with a knowing smile, which you choose to ignore.

“Oh, and guess who Julia got off with last night?” You say, maybe to change the subject off Van, after he’s handed a takeaway cup to the last of the customers. He raises a how eyebrows, looking at you with interest. Toby liked to act like he wasn’t interested in the gossip, stories swapped between you and Julia on long shifts - but you always caught him half listening, weighing in with his own comments if asked.

But before you can dish out the gossip on who you had walked in on in your kitchen this morning, Julia herself stomps through the door.

“Speak of the devil,” you mumble with a smirk while Toby playfully hisses at her as she walks past “Ey, what time do you call this then?”

It’s 9, she’s an hour late. She had told you this morning she’d cleared it with Carly, when you had brought her water and painkillers. More as a front to question her on who you had found in the kitchen than being concerned for her head. She’d seen through it and buried herself under her duvet when you entered her room.

“Piss off,” she hisses back, taking off her sunglasses. No makeup and too much perfume, the telltale signs of a rough night. “And don’t even start you!” Pointing her sunglasses at you, your smug smile. You only hold your hands up to with a lingering smirk. Toby’s eyes flickering between you both.

The bell hanging from the door rings, drawing your attention back to the till as two mums with buggies and toddlers make their way in, the screeches of excited children make Julia shudder.

“Jesus Christ, kids shouldn’t be allowed out in public until at least midday on weekends,” she huffs under her breath and makes a beeline for the staff room. A chuckle - calling after her, telling her you had left breakfast muffins in the oven. The perfect combination of savory and sweet - the best hangover cure. Apart from more alcohol that is.

You’re loading up a tray with hot chocolates and coffees for the mums and kids when Julia re-emerges from the back room, taking a bite out of the muffin in her hand with a groan of your name, telling you that you were a lifesaver.

“Sure you can manage these? No more bad luck leftover? Need a side of salt?” Toby teases while handing you the tray over the counter, you roll your eyes - telling him not to remind you of yesterday’s disasters.

“So, wild night at the pub quiz I hear,” you hear Toby turning back to Julia while you walk away, biting down on the inside of your cheek to suppress a smile. Recalling her texts.

You make your way out front to the terrace where the noisy kids have taken up residence at one of the tables, except now their shrieks seem to be in despair rather than delight. One of the women standing out on the path while the other is desperately trying to calm the boys, one already in tears. Inconsolable.

“Oh, what’s happened?!” You ask, a frown while setting the tray on their table.

“Pebbles ran away!” The older of the boys wail while pointing down the road. It’s then that you notice the abandoned dog leash on the ground beside your foot, one end under the seat of the chair, the other end clipped onto a collar.

“He must have wriggled out, a lad’s gone running after him - I hope-“ the woman is cut off by the younger boy’s screech of “There! Pebbles!!”

You follow his gaze, almost shaking your head and laughing - it’s Van, of course it’s fucking Van to the rescue. Sauntering back down the path with the runaway Yorkshire terrier in his arms, licking at his face.

You watch the look of adoration in the women’s eyes as he carries the dog back up to the table, the gleeful sounds of the kids. His smile widens once he spots you, hovering.

“Alright lids, see he’s fine! Just a little messer ain’t he?!” Van eases, dropping down on his haunches to hold the dog while the mum fiddles with adjusting the collar.

Ducking back inside while the chorus of ‘thank yous’ surround Van, grabbing a couple of chocolate chip cookies and pain au chocolats, sugar for the shock.

Once you set the treats down on the table, the boys wipe the end of their tears from their eyes. Sounds of delight resurface, something their mothers echo when you tell them not to worry, that the cookies and crossiants are on the house.

Van follows you back inside after high fiving the boys, winking at the women and blowing a kiss at the dog - who seemed rather taken with him. Holding the door open for you.

“You’re in early, thought rockstars didn’t get up ‘til noon,” you say as he follows you in. Eyes a little bloodshot, voice a little husky - but other than that he didn’t share any of Julia’s hangover symptoms. You wonder what kind of drinker he is.

“Eh, never been good at the whole rockstar thing me.” A lazy grin, reaching the counter where Julia stops mid rant about how bacon absolutely belongs in muffins. Their eyes lock, mirrored smirks - sharing the same secrets.

“Think you have someone that belongs to me, love.” He chuckles.

Julia hums in response, “think I’ll hang onto him a bit longer.”

You bite back a smile. This morning, walking into your kitchen at sunrise only to be greeted with a scruffy, bearded man. Vaguely familiar, from the countless interviews and live performances you had binged on YouTube. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, unbuttoned shirt and undone jeans, hand buried in his hair, staring blankly at the floor tiles. Clearly in the midst of a hangover from hell, possibly going through the fear. You could smell the stale alcohol.

“Er, morning?” You said quietly, blue eyes flickering up, a crooked smile, and a rasped “Mornin’, love.”

Like it was the most natural thing for him to be standing in your kitchen, like it was his kitchen even.

“Are you looking for sommat or?” You opened the fridge, glancing back over him. Hoping he wasn’t about to puke all over the place. He had that look.

“Yeah, just the last shreds of me dignity.. and anything.. cold, please... fuck,” he grumbles, pressing his head into his hands. You almost felt sorry for him, then you remembered the videos and messages from Julia last night and hide a smile by looking back into the fridge. Jug of iced water and a pint glass, handing him the full glass before rooting through the medicine drawer, painkillers.

“Aye, you’re a fuckin’ godsent, thanks angel.” Taking the painkillers and water from you. “Can see why Van’s so fond of you, coffee girl.”

There’s a lot of unpack in that sentence, and it was way too early. So you simply blink and watch him take the pills.

“Coffee girl?” You question eventually, arms crossing.

His eyes drift back over to you, grimacing while he sips on the water. “Aye, you work down the café, wi’ Julia, reet?”

You knew you shouldn’t have, but when opportunity arises, you can’t help it. Winding him up. It’s a rare morning you’re in a good mood, able to communicate in more that one syllable words.

“No? Dunno what you’re on about mate, Julia works down the cafè.. heard her mentioned someone called Van a few times, seemed like they had a thing, yeah?”

A flash of panic in his eyes, practically hearing the flurry of curse words going through his head. The prospect of the fact he’s probably shagged someone his best mate is ‘fond of’. Quirking a brow while he stared.

“Nah, she said.. You.. fuck.. fuck me,” a string of grumbles, clearly trying and failing to get his head straight - remember what had happened last night, what Julia had told him. Hands patting down his jeans, pulling out his phone with a heavy sigh. He curses at the screen. “Fuck, Van’s gon-“

“Hey,” you decide to put him out of his misery. He was growing paler by the second, and you were getting more and more worried about the prospect of cleaning up puke. “I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Realisation hitting - eye narrowing at you, telling him your name, confirming that you were indeed the coffee girl who worked with Julia. He shakes his head, a gruff noise and crooked smirk.

“Jesus, threw me for a loop there... well played, my dear... I like you already,” holding out his first, “Am Johnny,” he says while you knock your knuckles against his. You refrain from telling him you knew that already.

“Well, he’s kinda crucial in our band and that, so afraid I get first dibs, darlin’” Van’s voice drags you back to the present.

“So you’re saying you’re going on tour again soon, eh?” Julia tilts her head.

A breathy little laugh - “Bands do more than just tour, yanno?”

“You do realise the internet is a thing, Van - we could literally google your tour dates right now and find out. So your mysterious bullshit ain’t flying anymore.” She rolls her eyes, another bite of her muffin.

Since finding out he was in Catfish, neither of you had ever thought about checking on the tour dates, when he came he came and when he left he left, and that’s that. No wondering if he’d show up when the tour was up. Simple, no attachments. You and Julia even named a local stray cat after Van who you fed from time to time when he came snooping around the bins outside, the easiness of coming and going.

So why were your fingers suddenly itching for your phone.

“Ah, love! Why ruin the little mystery that’s left then? Like I said - we do other stuff too, could have label stuff to do, graftin the next album... cheers, mate.” Trailing off once Toby slides his caramel latte over the counter, something he had got him hooked on a year or so ago. “Fuckin missed this.” He says as if every other coffee shop has yet to discover caramel.

“So yous are doing a new album then, that it?” Julia persists, rolling your eyes at her blatant attempts at winding him up. But he catches on, a lazy grin, licking his lips.

“Ain’t ya too hungover to be fuckin’ with us like this?” He calls her out, a smirk.

She shrugs while her eyes slide over to the elderly couple that come in every morning, sitting in their usual spot. Calling over to them that their tea and scones are on the way, fond calls back of ‘take your time, pet.’ telling Van she’s not finished with him before heading into the back to get a teapot.

“What happened last night anyways?” Toby interjects, bemused look across his features. Completely left out of the loop, obviously not getting anything out of Julia when you left them a while ago.

Taking the opportunity to pull up Julia’s messages - putting you phone down on the counter between the three of you. The video is obviously taken at the time of the night where all rational thoughts are lost to drinks. Loud music, girls screams - background static, Johnny Bond stood at the bar, downing three consecutive shots of what you assume is tequila, Julia’s giggles soundtrack while following him out the smoking area, turning back to the camera and taking off his cap with slur of ‘mind this for me, love’ before he proceeds to do a handstand against a wall for 15 seconds. Confused onlookers as Julia counts it out.

Amused sounds - Toby and Van, Julia passing back around the counter in search of scones for the couple, she glances over your shoulder at the video.

“Ey, anyone who does a handstand after 3 shots of tequila without vomming earns their space in my bed.”

There’s another video from about 20 minutes later of Larry stood on a table, Kylie Minogue blaring, and he’s doing an enthused rendition of the Can’t Get You Outta my Head dance mixed with a bit of the Macarena. Cheers erupting around him, wolf whistles.

Van - a rasped cackle, “send that one onto me, that’s too good! Never gon let him live that one down!”

You watch him while he watches the video again a few times over. His eyelashes nearly brushing his cheeks when he looks down, fingers restlessly tapping against his coffee mug, soft chuckles. Feeling Toby give you a nudge, a wink when you look up. Letting you know he caught you, shaking your head with your best ‘fuck off’ eyes.

“So why were you making the lads humiliate themselves for your entertainment then?” Toby asks Julia once she circles back around the counter

“‘Cause, the lads bet me that they’d beat us at the pub quiz,” she explains, helping herself to another muffin. “Johnny spent half the time outside smoking, and Van and Larry fuckin’ argued over every question and ended up writing down bullshit made up answers.”

Toby asks where Van’s forfeit video is, you’re only half listening now - taking orders of the few people who just came in, but you zone back in once you hear your name mentioned.

“-and after I told him she was workin’ late closing up, never seen anyone down their pint so quickly, what was the excuse again, Van? Jet lag was it?”

Glancing up at that to find him already looking at you, catching his eye, his lips tilt making his dimple pop out. It lasts less than a second, your eyes darting back down to the pecan pie you’re cutting. Feeling your cheeks warm up. He never mentioned that he had run into Julia at the pub last night, remembering how he just said he was on his way home. Although, you were half sure it did have nothing do with you, more likely he was just sick of Julia’s drunken bullshit.

“Nah, just quite like that pub and want to be able to show me face in there again, innit.” He tells her, a laugh.

You grab a basin and walk away to start to clear tables, not really wanting to hear anymore of Julia’s torments. You’re happier zoning out, getting lost in your own thoughts, smiling and small talk with a few regulars. On you’re way back to the kitchen when you hear Van again as you walk past, catching your elbow.

“You in then too, Glasvegas?”

“Sorry, what?” Turning back to him, you had been thinking if Julia would be up for getting chipper on the way home after the pub tonight. You were already craving garlic cheese chips.

“Coming down Cassidy’s tonight? Van’s buying first round for being a pussy last night.” Julia quips, and you look from him to her. Fuck, remembering Van’s confession about wanting to buy you a drink last night. Julia’s looking at with you a smug expression, knowing you can’t get out of this one. You and her always went out on Saturday night’s - either just the two of you, or a group of friends. But going to the pub with Van and his mates, your heart skips a few beats, uneasiness. You give her a look before letting your eyes slide back to Van, an expectant look, finishing off his cinnamon bun.

“Er, I dunno..”

“Dunno if you’re up for going to the pub? Like we don’t go out every Saturday night?” Julia tilts her head, feigning mock innocence. You knew what she was doing, and you glare. A non-verbal ‘you’re being a dick.”

“Well, er, it’s been a long week.. yanno. I’m kinda tired.. was thinkin’ of staying in and having a quiet one,” you’re backing slowly into the kitchen as you say this, feeble excuses. “And I’m.. I’m trying to save some and that.”

“So me and you will do pre-drinks at ours,” Julia pushes, entertaining your excuses to a certain extent, but not letting you get out of it.

“And I’m buying first round,” Van adds.

“So, it’s just one drink really.” Julia confirms.

“Jus’ one drink.” Van reaffirms.

“Just one drink?” You say, somewhat defeated.

Toby glances up from the coffee machine, a chuckle. “Now when’s the last time anyone went out and actually had just one drink?”

Van leaves a little while later, Toby giving him a tray of coffees for Larry and Bondy if he’d yet ventured back from your place, you sending him off with a bag of hangover cures in form of pastries and cakes.

He came back in a few minutes later, forgetting his stamp on his loyalty card.

“2 down, eight to go. Cheers, see yas later.” He walked back out, a spring in his step. You turned to Julia.

“What the fuck, Jules?! Will you leave us alone and stop tryin’ to setup me up with Van fuckin’ McCann!” Exasperated tone, she only shook her head and giggled. “S’not funny! He probably already has a girlfriend and you’re here makin’ us look desperate!”

“Dunno what you’re on about, babe!” She says while heading out to clean up the terrace, humming matchmaker matchmaker under her breath. She turns back to you as she reaches the door “Oh, and he deffo doesn’t have a girlfriend, found that out last night for ya. You’re welcome!” She beams, all but skipping out the door.

You somehow resist the urge to chuck the tea towel in your hands at her head.

Member: PWARK SEONGHWAbs

Category: playlist feels one shot

Genre: fluff and smut (idk how this is gonna turn out lol i just couldn’t get the visual of boss/ceo? seonghwa out my head and you’re his secretary and i just--)

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: if you haven’t noticed by now, most of my one shots/work don’t really have cliche plots? there are certain tropes/cliches that i don’t really like or i’m just not tuned into being comfortable writing them like eg. boss and employee is pretty nasty, that’s why the chaebol juyeon series turned out like that (i’m not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know that y/n wasn’t just an employee.) so in here, i guess it’s not going to be an exception? i don’t know when the day will come that i will write one that is EXTREMELY cliche and be able to be satisfied/happy with it. 

this is the first smut i’m writing for seonghwa; i’ve only been writing it for san and a tiny bit for mingi and the rest’s literally for juyeon ;_; so i hope i don’t butcher it. 

see you on the other side :D

“니 맘 전부 알고 있어”

“I know your heart”

“oh god--” you shove the food on your spoon into your mouth, nearly throwing it on the table just as the music starts ringing in the room, and he was already resting his chopsticks on the bowl. “please don’t--”

“seonghw-- ugh.”

too late.

“forget it, do whatever you want at your own dinner table. i can’t believe you invited me over just so i have to watch you have your own concert,” the food calls you again, and seonghwa acts like he’s in a drama or a music video. 

“have you finished compiling the contracts from the previous year and making sure everything tallied?” he raises a candid brow at you, his hands reaching out to you as the lyrics ran its course. a frown draws into your forehead, and you swat his hand away, reaching for a piece of fried egg instead of watching him act his heart out. 

“i’m still working on it, but i’ll have it in by the end of tomorrow,” the egg finds its way between your teeth and you push some rice in along with it, fingers finding your phone when it lit up.

“wooyoung’s asking if we’re going to hang out anytime soon.”

you look up through your damp hair and glare at seonghwa, hands still flailing around and his torso following along with the movements. 

it really was a wonder you’ve been friends with him since you were teenagers, and somewhere, somehow, some deity really thought making you the secretary of one of your best friends was a good idea.

initially, you were relieved that your boss was someone you knew as well as you did the back of your hand, but within the first six months of being seonghwa’s secretary, you literally couldn’t help yourself from hurling a file at him once in awhile. 

it wasn’t difficult to catch you screaming at him in the office because he passed out from overworking himself, telling him to go home. not because he was taking a nap, but because you found him sprawled across his desk after working through the night.

that was the day everybody in office found out you were friends from the same circle. 

so whenever anybody had the slightest issue or complaint about their boss, they’d come to you in hopes that you would smack -- or yell -- some sense into him. 

seonghwa had his shitty days and it didn’t stop him from being a terrible boss; you could empathise. but otherwise, he’d be strutting around office and annoying the hell out of both you and your colleagues by giving them sweets, to the extent that someone would wonder just how he was the one everybody needed to address as ‘boss’.

“wooyoung? but hongjoong’s overseas and mingi practically vanished off the face of earth. if he wants to have a meal together, he needs to hunt mingi down first,” the fishcake in the soup suddenly contained enough power to make seonghwa stop rolling his chest and send it into his mouth. 

“i’ll tell him no then,” the message sends and you put the phone back down onto the table. “anyway, the security told me when i left the office that the camera in your office is down and they’ll have someone sent over to fix it over the weekend, so they just told me to relay the message to you.”

“why wouldn’t they just email me?”

your tongue digs into the gap between your gum and your upper lip sa you reach for the glass of coke. “i’m pretty sure they’ve given up emailing you, especially since you don’t use that email address often.”

“hey, i have one for office operations and one for business, is that so wrong?” his defensive tone causes his voice to crack and go off tune, striking a funny bone in you despite already hearing it a billion times over. 

“i didn’t say there’s anything wrong, it’s just annoying when you give someone your email but you don’t even check your inbox,” you finish your last spoonful of rice and chicken, downing the soup to wash down the food. “but anyway, point is, don’t do anything dumb in your office.”

he scoffs, finally returning dedicated focus to his food. the food that he bothered to prepare for you before even telling you he was cooking dinner. it made you obligated to show up, else you’d get an earful from him for being ungrateful. 

“name me one dumb thing i could do in my office,” his cat eyes widen and the whites around his pupils glare at you under the lighting. 

“how would i know?” sucking the grains of rice from the hidden spots in your mouth, letting the water droplets on the side of the coke glass run over your nails and drip off the base. “like have a heart attack and pass out tomorrow, if you choose to stay over time?”

seonghwa stretches his legs under the table, and his sock-covered feet jab you in your ankles. a sharp ‘tsk’ slides out from gritted teeth, and he laughs at your reaction. 

“it’s not peak period for companies to be contacting me now, so that probably won’t happen.”

“well, don’t leave your office door unlocked or something, someone could waltz right in and find your shit and that’ll just might be the end of you.”

“honestly, i thought it  would’ve been funnier if you encouraged me to do more dumb things in the office, since there wouldn’t be any footage of it.”

wincing in disgust, your hands wipe the water off the surface of the coke glass and you flick it at him. a loud snicker blocks out the music for a moment when he ducks and uses his arm as a shield. 

“god forsake i recorded that and told the office you said that,” the coke glass empties itself down your throat, and you help yourself out of the seat to help him clear the dishes. 

“it’s a good thing you’re worth trusting then,” you hear him say loud enough for you to hear while you rest the plates in the sink. 

a chair drags across the floor and the soft clinking of the porcelain plates from the dining table mixes with the water gushing out of the tap. 

if you had to describe your friendship with seonghwa, it’d be an open book. 

one of the best things about being friends with him was that he was always mature enough to look past little arguments or conflicts that shouldn’t have an impact on your friendship.

sometimes he was whiny and pouty and it nauseated you, but he was always one to have your back whenever you needed it. his shoulder was always there for you to cry on, not the mention the hugs he gave. 

so why ‘open book’? 

“i’m only worth trusting because you kept my secret and prevented anybody else from blowing shit out of proportion.”

a gentle chuckle rings by your ear, and seonghwa refuses to fill the sink with more dishes while you were still standing there. there wasn’t a time when he’s hosted a dinner and let his guests do the dishes for him. 

the water runs the dishwasher soap off your skin and you step away for him to take over. 

“it didn’t blow out of proportion only because i didn’t tell anybody else,” he turns and flashes his smile at you, and it reminds you of the first time you fell for it. 

you guessed it. 

park seonghwa was the love of your life at some point of time, and he knew. 

in fact, nobody else knew besides the two of you. 

you had made it so painfully obvious that if anybody was observant enough, they’d be able to pick it up. luckily for you, hongjoong was too busy making sure mingi wasn’t sticking a pen down his throat just to prove a point, and seonghwa was the only one who noticed you staring at him. 

so ‘open book’ in some sense... for the both of you. not so much anybody else outside your exclusive friendship.

the fear in your chest and entire body was so overstimulating in that moment he caught you staring at him, with eyes you assumed he would’ve found creepy, that you could’ve cried in that instant. 

it wasn’t likely that he’d stop being friends with you just because you had feelings for him, but it was likely that he’d start distancing himself from you just so he wouldn’t hurt you. 

~~~~~~~~~  FLASHBACK ~~~~~~~~~~~

“don’t fuckin’ let him swallow the pen!” he yells at hongjoong, who was struggling to use his relatively shorter limbs to hold mingi’s long limbs down. your stressed vision was darting back and forth between the little wrestling match and confusion and fear start to swallow you like waves on a stormy day when seonghwa gets out of his seat and walks towards you. 

“come on,” he shows you a hand. everybody was seated in his living room, pizza boxes empty and coke bottles neatly thrown into a trashbag in the corner with the flashes of light from the television brightening the room every few seconds. “let’s go out and grab some fresh air while these two idiots settle themselves.”

seonghwa literally pulls you to your feet, and he must’ve guessed how much shit you thought you were in, for you to require someone else to tear you away from the ground. 

the sliding doors rustle open, and the cool autumn air outside greets you as if to mock you. the street lamps outside his house prevent you from seeing any stars, but you remember why you were out here in the first place.

your fingers find each other, your nails automatically starting to pick and peel at the skin on the other hand as seonghwa pulls the doors shut, muffling the whining and the screeching mingi was polluting his surroundings with. 

your forearms were rested on the surface of the wooden barriers, and your eyes looked dead straight in attempt to avoid his. the wooden barrier creaks, and you catch a glimpse of his hands gripping the rough surface, his torso leaning over it at an angle so he could meet your eyes without needing to shift you.

the thumping and racing in your chest was so rapid and aggressive, you wish you were dead instead. your lips parted, already prepared to say sorry and get the hell out of his life before he breaks your heart first.

“seonghwa, i--”

“no, it’s okay,” his voice was gentle in the almost-quiet atmosphere. “i was already suspecting it, and you only confirmed it.”

the blood rushes from your feet into your face, and your knuckles whiten from the amount of effort you channeled into holding the wooden barriers to support yourself. the last thing you wanted to do was to pass out infront of him. 

“i know you don’t feel the same, but i don’t want this to ruin our friendship,” mustering enough courage, you turn to him and lock pleading eyes with his. 

“well, neither do i. i wish i could ignore it, and if you were just any other girl, i wouldn’t have bothered having this conversation with you,” he turns and leans his lower back against the wooden boards. “but it’s you and you’re one of the few things i can’t risk losing.” 

silence. 

“this friendship is more important than whether or not you reciprocate. so even if you did, i’d be terrified to even start one with you... in fear that we’d break up and everything prior wouldn’t mean anything,” the words roll of your tongue with such fluidity, it surprised you even more than it did for seonghwa. 

“if that’s the case, then i’m relieved,” he pushes himself off the wooden planks and digs his fingers into the top of your head, ruffling your hair. “i don’t want our friendship to finish so pathetically either, so i take it that you want this conversation to be just between us?”

the nerves in your body tell you to nod, and you carry it out before the thoughts even get processed.

a weak smile curls his lips upwards, and he removes his hand from your head. “okay. you have my word.”

~~~~~~~~ NOW ~~~~~~~~~

so just like that. 

you and seonghwa made a silent deal never to tell anybody, and you made an effort to shove your feelings for him so far down your heart, you think you might’ve shat it out into a random toilet bowl in the last six years or so. 

“anyway,” you recall how you even got to this part of the conversation. “so don’t do anything remotely dumb in the office. if anybody encourages you to do it, i’ll murder them myself.”

his teeth glimmer in the light and the water starts running its way through the bubbles and foam on his hand and the plates in the sink. 

you stay long enough to remind seonghwa not to do anything stupid in his office the next day and to lock the door whenever he wasn’t in, at least five times over. seonghwa forces you to eat some strange concoction of ginseng and peach juice before you had to run out the door and straight home. 

the next day at work passed strangely quicker, and much quieter than you thought. 

seonghwa didn’t spend much time outside you office, and your colleagues handling external liaisons were busy too. it wasn’t difficult to figure out that despite seonghwa saying that companies wouldn’t be approaching him for new partnerships, one big one must’ve come by to keep him in his little box in the corner of the floor. 

but more often than not, being seonghwa’s secretary made you feel obligated to stay until he actually chased you home. and even if he did, you’d try to peel him away from his workspace too, well aware that he’d probably spend the night in his office if you didn’t.

today wasn’t an exception. 

the last external liaison officer left the office and waved goodbye to you, leaving you at your desk in the cubicle nearest to seonghwa’s office. 

you gather the contract summaries and place them into a clear file, throwing your phone into your suitcase and pulling your blazer over your shoulders. after you hand him the contract administration file, you’re going to make sure he went home today, even if it meant shoving him off his seat. 

you stretch out your arms to straighten the sleeves of the blazer, one hand clutching onto your suitcase and the other holding the file. turning off the light at your desk left seonghwa’s office light as the last remaining source of illumination of the area. 

“seonghwa,” you call out, trapping the file between your elbow and your rib as you knocked on the door.

“door’s open,” his voice sounded so tired and strained, you wish you could scold him for being so hardworking, but that was just the way he is.

“i thought i told you to lock the door,” seonghwa’s eyes were plastered to the computer screen, sheets of paper strewn about on the desk. usually you’d be surprised, given how neat and organised seonghwa had to be. but since this must’ve been one hell of a contract, you could understand that he lost some of his bearings. 

“i’m in the office, there’s no reason for me to lock it,” his eyes tear away from the screen and look down at the papers. 

the office smelled like febreeze, which you already were used to. seonghwa sighs a loud sigh and he gets out of his seat, stretching his limbs while you walk around to his desk, placing the file down and picking up some of the sheets he was just looking at. 

you drop your suitcase to your feet and your eyes naturally begin to skim through the brand new contract he spent the entire day obsessing over. seonghwa shifts and you hear his shoes pace up and down the space behind you, probably trying to get the blood circulation going from the hours of sitting down. 

the lamp sitting on his desk illuminates the papers in your hands into a bright white, and the printed black words become so much shinier under it. 

“oh? samsung?” your eyes widen slightly at the name printed on the sheet. “no wonder you’ve been in here the whole day.”

he hums, and you start to feel his torso looming over you from behind. 

“what else do you have to do though?” you flip through the sheets, and he pushes your hair aside, his fingers lightly brushing against the skin under your ear. 

“not funny, seonghwa,” the frown deepens into your forehead when you notice all the sheets had already been filled up. “are you clearing emails? if you’ve filled up the contract sheets then there’s no reason for you to be her--”

the pressure on your lower back combined with the soft breathing on your neck cuts off the oxygen from your nose to your lungs. the air hitting your skin causes goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, and you start to cringe from the ticklish sensation. you flinch and your shoulder shrugs up to your ear as you turn around, taken aback to realise he was standing right behind you, barely giving you any space to turn. 

“uh...” the air was eerily still, and there was a strange look in his eyes that you don’t find familiar. your rear rests against the edge of the desk, and you pass the sheets to your left hand, right hand reaching up to wave it infront of seonghwa’s face. “are you okay?” 

“i’m more than fine,” gently wrapping his fingers around your palm, you raise a brow in confusion. 

you sigh and return the sheets back to the middle of the desk, hand still in his. “you look like you’re going to pass out, is there anything wrong?” 

naturally, your other hand finds his, and you pat the back of his hands like you were petting a dog.

“i need to ask something, and you gotta promise to answer me honestly,” there was a hint of fear and anxiety in his voice, and you didn’t like it. 

nonetheless, he was one of your best friends and he wouldn’t ever hurt you, no matter what he said.

he was probably going to ask something you would find offensive.

“alright,” you release his hands and cross your arms over your chest. “hit me.”

seonghwa shoves both his hands into his pocket and straightens his back, the change in posture making him look taller than what you were used to seeing. 

“do you still feel the same?”

the muscles in your neck snap your head backwards, and both eye brows lift themselves further away from your eyes. a small snort escapes your nose, and you start to nibble on your thumb. 

“‘still feel the same’? about what? about what happened seven years ago in your living room?” 

the smile doesn’t disappear from your lips, and it only gets wider when seonghwa nods. 

“park seonghwa,” you chortle, lifting your hand up to his forehead and pressing so hard into his skull that his head tilts backwards. “are you sure you’re okay? because i’m pretty sure that’s your juiced-out brain talking.”

one foot was already turned to walk out from between him and the desk, but he slams his left hand onto the surface of the expensive wood, and the loud slap of skin against wood startles you. 

your head whips to the left to look at him, and it dawns on you that he wasn’t messing with you. not a single feature on his face twitched, and you could see his soul crawling out of his eyes and threatening to squeeze into yours. 

“an honest answer.”

the most vital organ in your body starts to race, and the sensation yanks you back seven years to when seonghwa figured it out for himself. 

you haven’t felt the same kind of panic and worry since then. 

“i’d like to believe i’ve gotten over you, why?” the neurons in your brain struggled a little to piece that sentence together. 

“so it’s not a definite ‘no’?”

straightening yourself, you pat down your blazer and jab a finger into his shoulder. “did you not hear a word i just said?” 

“y/n,” this time he grabs your wrist, and you could feel the groves and bones of his fingers. “it was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.”

a pause, and you start hearing your heart in your ears. 

“do you still feel the same?”

everything inside you screams ‘no’, but you were well aware that if you had to even convince yourself that that was the case, then it was obvious the answer is ‘yes’. you start screeching at yourself in your own head, knowing that if you kept quiet any longer, seonghwa’s sharp eyes and extreme situational awareness was going to help him crack the code. 

“i--”

“so it’s a ‘yes’.”

fuck me.

“seonghwa, let me explain, okay? it’s not that i didn’t try, i’m just letting those... stupid feelings wear away on its own,” you writhe yourself out his hold and he releases you, but you couldn’t prepare yourself for what he said or did next. 

“there’s nothing to explain, just let your heart tell you what’s good for you.”

there wasn’t a single cell inside you that could tell you why you were so scared, so when seonghwa cups your cheeks with his hands and presses his lips against yours, the realisation pulls your eyes wide open. 

red and white sirens go off violently in your head like declarations of war, and your palms press flat against his chest to push him back.

“what are you-- seonghwa, if you think this is funny, then you need to know that it’s not. at all.”

“no, please, i didn’t mean to make you think i’m messing with you,” his eyes soften, and you were relieved to realise that the seonghwa standing in front of you right now was the one you recognised.

“really? because if we weren’t friends for like ten years, i’d think you’re just another playboy.”

seonghwa offers a weak chuckle, and he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. you take a few deep breaths to steady your heart, the mind-boggling situation not exactly resting in a comfortable spot in your head. 

“is that how you really see me? a playboy?” he raises a brow with mischief, and the slowly diminishing gap between the two of you alarms your senses all over again. 

“i’m well aware of how the girls in school used to look at you,” his breath starts to hit your upper lip again, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand. 

“okay, but that was seven years ago,” you watch with the slightest pinch of horror when his hands run up your arms and rest on your shoulders. “but now we’re both adults and i’m sure you’re mature enough to understand your own feelings, regardless of what i was treated as in school.”

“could you hurry up and get to the point?” you frown when he leans in again, your head slowly inching backwards. “all this beating around the bush is going to piss me off and i’m going to leave you here alone and go home.”

the sound of his laughter landed in your ears like music, and you let it run through you that it was one of the many things that led you to fall for him. 

“okay, well...” he licks his lips ever so subtly, and he tilts his head so you didn’t need to. “if you still have feelings for me then i want you to know that i have feelings for you too.”

the confession rests on your skin like a layer of silk, and your eyes somehow become comfortable closing this time round. 

he tasted exactly the way you’d expect him to: strawberries.

your hands were still awkwardly gripping the edges of the table, so when he finds them and pulls them around his own neck, that was when you lost all sense of reality. 

you couldn’t decide between kissing him because you still had feelings for him or because you’ve spent so much time being comfortable around him, some part of you felt so at home.

the line was so thin that you physically felt it disappear. 

the thought of it was kind of messed up, but it was seonghwa, the one who stayed your friend despite knowing you had feelings for him, the one who stayed and protected you by not telling anybody else. 

not wooyoung, not hongjoong, not mingi. 

the feeling of your entire existence, and the last seven years, melt into that kiss was so heartfelt, and it may have been your feelings for seonghwa talking, but his lips against yours felt like heaven-born puzzle pieces meant for each other. 

seonghwa picks you up and places you on the desk, the kisses soft and gentle, and his fingers on your cheek made you feel like heaven all on its own.

if hongjoong were here, you just know he was going to yell at the two of you for choosing intimacy over your friendship, but for two people who had mutual feelings for each other, there wasn’t much anybody could do about it. 

seonghwa breaks the kiss and he gives you a gorgeous smile, the sight shoving a hundred butterflies into your stomach while the strawberry taste lingers on your lips. 

“tell me if you’re uncomfortable--”

“we’re in the office--”

“camera’s not working.”

a small scoff runs off your tongue, and he dips his nose into your neck. kisses the weight of feathers land on your skin, and your heart starts running through your chest like it was in a competition. his hands push your legs open, the sudden jerk shooting little bolts of shock up your spine.

whines start to drip over your lips upon the kisses on your neck, and seonghwa drags his palms up your thighs, the pressure slightly but never overwhelming.

he wraps his arms around your waist when he returns his attention to your lips, pulling you so close to him that your chest was pressed against his, and your nose starts to pick up on his scent. 

your weight begins to shift backwards as his hands messily push all the things on his table to the side, laying you on your back but never once breaking the kiss. 

“this is so not okay,” you huff embarrassedly, arm finding your forehead when he pulls away. you heard him gulp, and it reminds you that he must be as anxious as you were, if not even more.

“are you really okay with letting me do this?” he presses a kiss into your cheek, fingers caressing your knees that he held on either sides of his hips. “you can say no, and we’ll be fine. we let it go once, we can let it go again.”

the look in his eyes were so dangerously comforting, you felt your mind glitch a little trying to process them. seonghwa was so genuine and sincere about your feelings that it made you nauseous. the pricetag the both of you were putting on tonight was your friendship. 

one wrong move and it could all go down the drain.

“i’m okay as long as i know that you’ll still be here, even if anything goes wrong.”

seonghwa looks at you with slightly sorrowful eyes, before he kisses you again, and the amount of comfort and promise that you absorbed from it was enough to make you tear up. 

“i’ll never leave you, even if we aren’t a couple and if we’re just friends... even if we stop talking fifty years down the road, i’ll still want you to be by my side in the afterlife.”

your nose sours at his little speech, and your heart shatters without warning. pulling him back to your lips, you kiss him like life was going to tear him away from you. 

seonghwa drinks your love and need for affection with ease, fingers trailing down your stomach and under your skirt to play with the rims of your underwear. 

fingers slide under the material and he smiles into the kiss when he realises your body needed him more than you’d like to admit. you would’ve slapped him across the face if he pulled away just to tease you, but he doesn’t.

he swallows a loud groan from you when he slips a finger in, and your grip around his shoulders tighten upon the blissful sensation. 

your fingers start to fumble with the dress shirt he was wearing under his blazer, and bit by bit, the whiteness of his skin start to remind you of milk. 

seonghwa removes his finger and sucks it like a lollipop, his eyes flying up to the dress shirt around your chest and he does the same for you. 

you couldn’t contain the mewls that slipped through your teeth when he undoes enough buttons to expose your cleavage, and the kisses on the curves of your breast felt like you were already one foot into the afterlife. 

the last button on his dress shirt comes undone, and you marvel at his torso. for a split second, you felt so proud you fell for him not because of his face or body, but because of his personality. yet, now with the knowledge that he looked like that under the layers of clothes, it was too difficult a task to hide the lust that overcame you almost instantaneously.

“hold your horses, kitten,” he pulls away from your chest, at the same time removing your underwear from under your skirt. your eyes involuntarily lock with his, and again, you couldn’t recognise them.

“who are you and what have you done to park seonghwa?” you mock him in attempt to calm your own bundle of nerves. a smirk pulls his lips up in the corner, and he yanks you to the edge of the table where his groin was dangerously near your exposed core. 

“i’m yours and he’ll come back once i’m done with you.”

you throw your head back into the table when he kneels down, and his tongue finds your sensitive nub. your fingers run through your own hair when he starts flicking against you, occasionally lapping your dripping neediness up. he doesn’t push into you, which was both frustrating and pleasuring at the same time. 

you start to lose your grip on reality, and just as you were about to protest against him being such a tease, he removes his face from your south and begins undoing his belt. 

your lids were droopy with lust, and watching him undo the button and zipper of his pants made it so much more worth it. 

“i wish i knew this day was coming,” you whisper to him as he leans over you again, one arm holding his torso above you and the other, you assume, pulling his underwear low enough to release himself from the material. 

“so you can tell the girls that you’re having sex with me in the office?”

the line sounded so lewd, blood began rushing both down to your south and up to your cheeks.

“what, you’re shy now?” the brow he raises was so smug, you would’ve bitten down on his bottom lip if you didn’t suddenly gasp when he plunged into you without warning. 

your chin tilts so sharply towards the ceiling, he had to pull it back down for him to shove his tongue into your mouth, and a pinch of pain seeps through your entrance into your thighs. 

the harsh, rougher kisses were pulling inappropriate noises out from your throat, and he starts thrusting into you when he assumes you’ve gotten used to him. his right hand was supporting his weight by the side of your head, and his left palm was gripping onto your thigh with such immense strength, you were sure he was going to leave marks by the time you were done. 

seonghwa finally pulls away, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and his pants becoming more apparent. your arms grip onto the edge of the desk above your head, and tears start to form in your eyes when the pain completely dissolves into pleasure and bliss. 

“my pretty, pretty, secretary,” he huffs into your ear and licks the edge of your skin, the contact sending you over an edge and the friction in your abdomen drilling dirty thoughts into your head. 

“seonghwa--” the thrusts get deliberately harder and rougher, the sudden bucking of his hips enough to jerk the entire table. “oh-- shit--”

the tip of him starts to ram into a magical spot inside you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head when he doesn’t stop.

“be a good girl and come for me.”

every word literally gets hammered into you, and it sends you into an abyss of bright light while your legs shiver in ecstasy, and seonghwa pulls out shortly after, his speed allowing him to grab some napkin from the corner of his table so that he wouldn’t release anywhere on his desk. 

you struggle to catch your breath, and seonghwa reaches over to clean you off the table. 

“oh, no,” you cover your mouth and give a painful chuckle. 

“what is it?” his voice was soft and smooth again, and the gears in your head stop to process that this was the same person who just called you a good girl a few moments ago.

he pulls your hand away and gives you a light kiss on your lips, eyes scanning your face with worry and concern. 

“i told you not to do anything dumb, but i ended up doing it with you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: WHOO ok that was kinda long for a one shot. anyway, it’s super mellow compared to what i did for pilot juyeon so i hope you (smut)readers don’t mind heh. i’m still working on HOSTIS chapter 2, so look out for it! it should be up any time in the next few days. 

thank you for reading, and stay safe!!

- love, dana

Pleasant Surprise (Indruck Superhero AU)

A little fic I’ve had bouncing around my head for awhile, set in the universe of “The Thrilling Adventures of the Green Knight.”  It takes place after that story, and after the events of the small fics “Aww, Rats” and “Back in Time”. You can read it as a standalone, but it does contain some spoilers for main fic.

“You know how you always say communication is important in a relationship?” Indrid drums his fingers on the arm of the couch. 

Dr. Mwangi nods, the chain on her glasses glinting in the soothing lights of her office.

“I...there is something I am not sure how to communicate to Duck. I, it’s something I’ve been dishonest about. I” Indrid takes a deep breath, “I lied about the date of my birthday.”

Dr. Mwangi doesn’t so much as cock an eyebrow, much like she managed not to gasp in horror when he told her what his training regime involved when he was learning to be a villain. Indrid’s going theory is that this self-control is his therapist's super power. 

“Do you want to spend part of our session today figuring out how you’d like to talk with him about this?”

Indrid fidgets with his glasses, “Yes, please.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Duck comes home to one of his favorite scenes; Indrid sitting with his easel in front of the rat run. His boyfriend decided he needed to cultivate his artistic streak, so that one part of his life would not involve superheroing or villainy in any capacity. From the look of it, he’s still on the theme of inserting the rats into still-lifes of different styles. 

Duck loves watching him paint, in a way at once connected to and completely different from the attraction he feels observing the other man train in the hideout or dig himself into engineering a new invention. There’s the same cleverness in his hands, the same concentration lining his face. But there’s an innocence that’s absent other places, a kind of happiness that only exists in activities untouched by his past.

“Hello, chivalrous one.” Indrid murmurs as Duck comes to drape his arms over his sweater clad shoulders.

“Hey sugar. I like the new paintin’--is that Dr. Harris Bonkers?”

“Indeed.” Indrid turns his head, his grin as bright as the streetlights flickering to life outside, “The fuzzy medical practitioner in the style of Seurat. I foresee Aubrey liking it as a Christmas gift, and I wanted to do it while the inspiration was still fresh.”

“Bet she’ll get a kick outta it.” Duck kisses the top of his head, then starts removing his work clothes, “you had dinner? Thought I might reheat some pizza.”

“I ordered us dinner, it should arrive within ten to fifteen minutes, depending on whether this is the broken stoplight timeline.” Indrid sets his brushes aside, stands so he can follow Duck down the hall to the bedroom.

“Thanks for doin’ that.”

“There is, ah, something I wish to discuss before it arrives.”

Duck turns and his heart twinges. Back when Indrid was his nemesis, Duck learned to read his emotions, a skill that eluded everyone else. He can tell when Indrid is nervous and, most often, when Indrid is nervous and doing everything he can to hide it.

“What’s on your mind?” He takes a soft step towards the other man, who goes very still as he summons his next words. 

“Do you remember what I told you about my birthday?”

“That it was in the spring and you’d let me know when we were gettin close to it. Wait, fuck, you never did, not this year or last year. Then again, last year was when the White Star boys kept tryin to fuck everythin up, think a lot of stuff got missed. Do you, uh, wanna do a birthday observed or somethin? Could even get a little goofy and do a half-birthday.”

Indrid shakes his head vehemently, “No. That is not it. I, I ah, I lied. My birthday is not in spring. And before you ask ‘when is it,’ the answer is I have no idea. We never celebrated birthdays. I only know my age because my father unleashed my brother and myself upon the world some time after I, or rather we, turned eighteen.” Indrid tucks his hands into the pockets of his sweater, “that is all I wish to say.”

It would be easy to giggle at his serious tone. 

Duck pulls Indrid into a hug, “Thanks for tellin me. Do you want help tryin to work out when it really is?”

“I...I do not know. I was simply tired of such a small lie weighing me down.”

“Okay. You wanna cuddle until dinner?”

“Of cour--oh damn it all.” Indrid steps back, pulling off his sweater, “Baron Thorne is going to try and hold an entire dormitory of students hostage in forty-five minutes.”

“More than a two hero job?”

Indrid tips his head back, then replies, “it’ll go best with for. I shall alert Barclay and Aubrey.”

“Roger. I’ll get the car.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Duck’s researching potential plants for Dani to modify into non-lethal weapons when the secure elevator dings open and Agent Stern hurries out, looking a kind of excited he hasn’t seen since Barclay’s parents landed their ship to meet their son’s new boyfriend. 

“Gettin the feelin you got good news for me.”

“I do.” Joe pulls out his datapad, “I went through the files we confiscated from Abbadon to find the one on Indrid. It did indeed have his birth date, and you are not going to believe what it is.”

Duck looks at the little boxes of letters and numbers beneath the photo of a much younger Indrid with a much crueler smile. 

“No fuckin way.”

“I know right?” Joe grins, “ I think he’ll get a kick out of that.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My birthday is on Halloween?”

“Yeah!” Duck looks so happy that for a moment the emotion carries Indrid as well. 

“That is rather fitting. It’s always been my favorite holiday.” He can see it now; little orange lights, a black tablecloth, some cake.

“And it’s three weeks away, so we still got time to plan somethin to mark the day. I was thinkin we could have it Friday, since Halloween is a Saturday and I know at least Barclay and Dani got things they do every Halloween. How’s that sound?”

He isn’t sure. Something circles up from the deep, animal part of his mind, but he can’t name it and so does his best to ignore it. 

“It sounds wonderful.”

--------------------------------------------------------

Indrid cannot escape. Everywhere he turns there are birthdays; on the T.V, in the restaurants he and Duck go to, on cards and balloons when he’s getting groceries 

It’s your big day!

“You don’t turn thirteen everyday”

To my son, on his eighteenth birthday

“To my brother, my favorite partner in crime”

“This week on ‘My Neighbor’s a Werewolf,’ Jamie throws Max a surprise party, and gets a big surprise of his own.” 

When that one flickers across the screen, Indrid clicks the T.V off with a little hiss. He’s tense, feels like the embodiment of the moment a knife-tip meets skin; resistance and resignation in the instant before it all comes pouring out. 

“You got a cake preference?” Duck rests his hand on the couch near Indrid’s shoulder, tone light as he continues, “know you like really sweet stuff, I could get mom’s hummingbird cake recipe from Jane-”

“Whatever you think best.” Indrid flexes and coils his fingers.

“‘Drid, it’s your party, you get to mark the occasion however you want.

“And what if I do not wish to mark it at all?”

“Uh…” Duck clears his throat, “uh, that’s fine too.”

Indrid turns his head to see the expression he knew would be there. 

“That upsets you.”

“N-uh, fuck, I uh, it don’t uh-”

“Duck, please do me the courtesy of not drawing out the lie.”

Ducks shoulders sag, “Guess I’m a little disappointed. I, uh, I was havin fun plannin it with you. Thought I could make up for all the times you didn’t have one.”

“Well, you can’t.” Indrid snaps, stands more dramatically than he means to. He just wants this to be over, wants to stop seeing the memories he thought he’d properly laid to rest, “you cannot make up for what I saw, what was done to me, what I did.”

“I-”

Indrid holds up his hand, “I know you see it as your job to remove all traces of my tragic past that you can.”

“Hold the fuck on.” Duck shakes his head, “Is that what you think I’m doin? ‘Drid, it’s just a party. If you don’t want it you don’t want it, but don’t fuckin pretend this is some indicator of us as a pair.”

“Oh but it is.” Indrid feels his lips curl into an old smile, “you get to play the nice, normal hero making everything better, while all I am is someone to pity, broken long before you ever met me!”

Duck goes still, and in his visions he sees the rats finishing skittering to the far side of Ratopia. It’s at this moment he realizes he’s been yelling. 

“I…I am going to bed. Goodnight.” He hurries down the hall, only bothering to change his pants before crawling under the covers. In most futures, Duck follows him and demands they finish their argument, leading to a far larger fight. But the hero doesn’t come. This gives Indrid time to get his breathing and heart rate back to normal, to try and work out why the thought of his loved ones gathering to celebrate his birth makes him want to disappear into the night. 

He’s not quite asleep when Duck comes in. He’s not quite ready to apologize. As he’s contemplating his options, his boyfriend slips under the sheet and lays in such a way that his right hand is inches from Indrid’s own. 

Without opening his eyes, Indrid slides his fingers across Duck’s palm. Duck shifts to interlink their fingers, and closes his hand. 

Indrid wakes up five hours later in two discrete stages. The first is coming out of the nightmare, of his body registering the need to move, to hide, before his brain is fully back to the present. The second is waking up enough to wonder why he always hides in the closet after these dreams; he didn’t have a closet growing up. 

He creeps into the living room, hoping he hasn’t woken Duck. He has woken Chicken, who decides it’s close enough to her breakfast time to yowl at him until he feeds her. While she crunches her cat food, he opens one of the doors to Ratopia. The mischief is mostly asleep, but at  the sound Void rouses from his spot atop Mallard and scurries over to Indrid’s hands. 

“You forgive so easily.” Indrid murmurs, cupping him in one hand and closing the cage with the other, “or perhaps you just forget with much greater skill than I.”

He knows when Duck is behind him. Without turning, he sets Void on his shoulder and says, “I think I know why I have been so unpleasant tonight. I...I have only ever marked two changes in age; being old enough to face the trials of my order and being sent out to cut down those who dared oppose us. My ‘birthday’ is a harbinger of suffering and death. And I, I know that is not the real truth, but it is the one my body believes, the one my mind has been bracing for without me fully understanding that’s what it is doing. I did not mean to take that fear out on you.”

“‘Drid” Duck’s voice is scratchy with sleep, but when Indrid turns his eyes are alert, “I’m so fuckin sorry. It, uh, it didn’t occur to me that your birthday would be wrapped up so tightly with the shit you went through as a kid. I never meant to push you into somethin you didn’t want.”

“But I do want it!” Indrid shoves his hands into his hair, “I want to have dinner with our friends, to get gifts, to enjoy a thing that millions of people partake in every day. And I am so, so very angry that I cannot, that instead I am dealing with all of this.” He gestures vaguely to himself, then looks at Duck, his body registering safe as the hero joins him by the rat run. When Duck opens his arms, Indrid nestles into them without hesitation. 

“Whatever you decide on, that’s what we’ll do.” 

Indrid hums, snickers when Void clambers onto Duck to tickle his cheek with his whiskers. After the shadows of the past recede in the warmth of Duck’s embrace, Indrid whispers, “I would like to have the party. I would like to help you plan it. But I...I would like a few of the details to still be surprises for me. It might be nice for my birthday to bring me a pleasant one for once.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oooh, this looks so cool!” Aubrey sets a gift on the table as she admires the mothman string lights, banners, and balloons, “dang, Duck, didn’t know you had a decorator streak.”

“Don’t get a chance to flex it much. And it’s kinda easy when the theme is so specific.”

“I’m trying to compliment you, doofus.” Aubrey playfully whacks his arm, then squeals, “honey, look, rats in hats!”

“Awww” Dani joins her to regard the mischief in their tiny party hats (only Mallard is still wearing his, the others in various states of tossing them about), “Indrid, did you make these?”

“Indeed, though Barclay made these.” He slides the enclosure open and sets five rat-sized cupcakes on the floor, “which is wonderful, because I did not want them to feel left out. They’re getting them earlier than the rest of us because Barclay is looking for ways to keep me out of the kitchen.”

“It’s your birthday, that means letting someone else cook!” Barclay calls from the kitchen.

“But I modified the blender and the mixer to be self-operating!”

“Wait, what?” Is all they hear before Barclay is drowned out by whirring. 

“Should we help him?” Dani says through their laughter.

“He’s a professional, he’ll be fine.” Joseph steps from the kitchen, his casual wear of jeans and a Loch Ness Monster dress shirt still somewhat jarring to the former villain who only ever saw him in suits, “Aubrey, Dani, can I get you anything to drink?”

“Yes please. Okay doctor, time to play.” Aubrey opens the special hatch in Ratopia and deposits the rabbit, who settles in to be groomed by his smaller friends. 

Dinner is fancy macaroni and cheese and fruit salad, Indrid’s favorites. As Ned regales the table with his latest misadventures in fixing up his new van (“I was unaware an owl could nest in a seat cushion”) Indrid glances at the entryway. 

“Everythin okay?” Duck whispers.

“Yes. I, ah, I simply did not expect so many gifts. I know it’s customary to receive them but I thought you got one or two. Not that everyone brought them.”

“You wanna open them?”

Indrid nods, grinning, “very much so.”

He takes care not to peek at the futures when unwrapping them, wanting to preserve the excitement as long as possible. Aubrey gives him a six pound bag of Lucky Charm marshmallows, Dani sneaks out to the car and returns with a potted plant (“I modified it so that the blossoms will be extra attractive to moths”). Ned gifts him a signed, limited run poster from Red Dust on His Soul, Joseph and Barclay a stack of new romance novels (“I think you’ll like Agent X, it’s a mystery series but he romances quite a few characters in them”). Mama sent a package from West Virginia that contains a small, wooden duck she carved herself and made especially smooth so it would be soothing to rub). And Lydia Little, AKA Sylvia Cold, presents him with a mug declaring him “Favorite Brother.” 

Duck’s present is the last one he opens. Waiting for him in the rectangular box is a white shirt with “World’s Greatest Rat Dad” on the front. The back is covered in squiggle-scratches of five different colors, which Duck explains are signatures from the mischief made in rat-safe fabric paint. 

“It’s perfect.”  Indrid sighs, kisses his boyfriend and then beams at his friends, “it is time for cake.”

They dim the lights, sing to him as Barclay emerges from the kitchen with a massive, mothman shaped cake with lots of candles. To his delight and surprise, the inside is layers of pink and yellow, flavored with strawberry and vanilla. He eats far more than is perhaps wise, but it is his birthday and it is his understanding that such things are allowed.

His guests linger for a few hours more, Aubrey and Dani the last to leave with a reminder to put the plant on the balcony. Indrid waves goodbye, closes the door and arms the security to full. He turns back into the house, sees the cards and gifts his friends put so much thought into locating for him, the stray dishes and half-empty glasses that signify they were here. For him. Because they wanted to be, because they care about him.

“‘Drid? You want any more cake before I put it aw--oh fuck, sugar, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing” he sniffles, grins, “these are tears of happiness. I, ah, I hurried us into cake because I felt them upon me when I opened the gifts. It will take some time yet for me to be willing to show such feelings around our friends.” He wipes his eyes, “thank you, my love, for arranging this.”

“Any time, darlin.”

He smiles, “Have I mentioned lately that you are my hero?”

“Pretty sure you called me that this mornin. But I sure as hell don’t mind hearin it again.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

“What is this?” His brother scowls up from the paper plate Indrid passed to him through the complex delivery system keeping his cell from the world around it.

“Cake. Today is our birthday. Did you know that?”

“Who cares for such frivolous things, little brother?”

“Those of us who do not spend our lives steeped in the misery of others, twin brother. If you do not want it, give it back and I shall share it with one of the guards.”

Apollo looks at the cake. Then he kneels on the floor, tearing into it with his hands. He doesn’t eat it what he destroys, and after a moment Indrid grasps why.

“Did you really think I hid some device to help you escape in there?”

“Yes.” His brother is now trying to light stab the cake with his gaze. 

Indrid rubs his forehead, “Perhaps some day you will learn to see things for how they are, not how you believe them to be.” He starts for the door, looks over his shoulder and says softly, “happy birthday, Apollo.”

A slam as his brother strikes the see-through front of his cell, “Get back here this instant you worthless, traitorous, coward!”

The door slides open and Indrid steps into the hall. Joseph is waiting for him, drops his eyes from the security feed to the man in front of him, “what a waste of Barclay’s cooking.”

“Agreed.”

A gentle pat on his shoulder, “You tried, that counts for a lot. Now go enjoy your night.”

“And my knight?”

“Him too.” Joseph waves goodbye, then adds, “and happy birthday!”

Indrid gets home before the city trick or treating hours begin; he’s feeling rather good, all things considered, and Halloween is so beloved by villains that the odds of his evening being interrupted by work are almost none. 

Duck is on the porch lighting their Jack ‘O Lanterns, grinning brighter than all the candles and lights on the block combined when Indrid walks up the steps to join him. He sees in the futures that he’s made him a special, Halloween themed birthday dinner. 

He pulls Duck into a hug, kissing the top of his head with happy sighs, thanking whatever twist of fate pushed him into the arms of the man who was, in many ways, his first-ever pleasant surprise.

do u have any random facts or things about Depth of heaven and ur characters (sfw or nsfw 🤭) even if what you want never comes to light, I really enjoy reading the concepts and asks about ur OCs

Hehehe I haven't thought about the characters and their story in a long time, until recently...but I never put a huge amount of thought into them before either! I kinda just knew I...wished I could make something cool that had everything I wanted in that kind of game lmao. Even if it doesn't happen, I felt like I wanted there to be twists and secrets...if it never happens then nobody but me will ever know about them, huh! But, if it does happen then I'll spoil stuff for later! What to do...ah I'll share about it! But I'm giving it a spoiler warning for something that doesn't exist anyway lmao Also I'm not a writer or a scientist this is all wacky world rules ok xd also there might be inconsistencies idk I never wrote anything down I'll tell u their heights! June: 5'4 Puzzle: 6'3 Koa: 5'6 Adam: 6'1 Keizo: 6'7 Lloyd: 5'11 Static: 6' Cyril: 5'9 Holly: 5'7

In high school June and Puzzle were da weeaboos who listened to vocaloid on their phones at lunch. Puzzle wore cat ears, big headphones, and tutus to school. I think....I decided that because of her old bad design lmao. I thought I had a drawing of her in cat ears but I can't find it 😔 June prolly just wore hoodies and graphic t-shirts. They were each others prom dates! June wore a tux! Okay spoilery stuff ahead!

I have a general idea what I want the story to be, but right now I just see it as disjointed scenes in my head. I posted some June and Puzzle wearing dresses where I wanted a scene to happen in a casino on the ship. Cruise ship casinos are kinda lame though lol, but it'll be as big and cool as I want >:•3 and it's an excuse to have everyone in cool formal wear cuz that's always fun! The cult leader calls for a big party on the ship and everyone has to attend! It's also where he culls the herd...because not everyone is worthy of going to heaven...apparently Koa likes playing video games! He's on the top of the leaderboard for one MMO, and during one event the top prize was blueprints for an in-game item: roller skates! It would make for cool merch to put on your wall or something. There was a rumor among the playerbase that the blueprints could make skates that function as they do in the game. Koa won the prints then used them to custom build his own skates (they look kinda generic now but I haven't put a lot of thought into their design lmao). The combination of materials used and construction give them a magical quality that allows him to skate faster than any human could! He's always pushing his limits, and sometimes it gets him in twubble xd Keizo has an issue with bad dreams...at night he replays all the times in his life where people were rude to him or each other, how he needs to keep peace between them, he just really hates assholes! He has nightmares about them treating him badly and there's nothing he can do, because at his height and with his strength he'd come off as the bad guy no matter what! They push and push 'til he's about to snap...then he wakes up! The rage super heats his blood and his skin glows red and steam pours out his ears! His hair is all wacky cuz it holds it's shape on the pillow from all the heat lmao June and the rest of them find out about it when they see steam coming out from under his door at night. Don't wake him up though! If he's still glowing hot he'll sleep walk while in a berserk state. First, it makes him really rude himself lmao. He'll say all the nasty things he won't when he's awake! Second, if he sees someone doin' shit he don't like, they're gettin' these 🤜🤛 In his happy ending you'd see him with his hair flat for the first time wouldn't that be nice :•3 Adam is always doing experiments on himself, kinda just for shits, kinda because he wants to discover something amazing....!.....?!?!??! When he was younger, his sister, who he loved v much, died. He wanted to become a doctor, not because he wanted to find a cure for the thing that killed his sister...because she died in an accident! He wanted to find a way to make people invincible! He's always injecting himself with stuff hoping it'll make him stronger. He likes Keizo as a friend, but to Adam Keizo is a perfect specimen of an indestructable human. Adam's been fascinated with him for a while, but Keizo also just makes for a good subject for testing against! Also, they met when Adam was studying abroad and Keizo came up on a motorbike and attacked the wheels on Adam's scooter. Cute! :•) Keizo used to be a bad boy :•( Other experiments Adam's done: Eyesight like a HAWK Cat ears but for real Jelly bones(?) Longer ween 😳 Lloyd is a stinky tech wiz who likes playing around with AI's and robotics! He has myassive myega brains and he monitors many of the functions of the ship by himself in his server room. When the captain is captured and thrown off the ship, Lloyd uses his know-how and special accesses to make sure the cult doesn't make a mess of everything. He knows about and can see everything that happens on the ship...for fun he likes video games toooo! And plays with Koa! He likes buildin' lil gadgets n tings for fun too! They can come in real handy! nsfw! Stuff past here!!!!!!!!! June, Koa, and Lloyd are all inexperienced!

As a lover, Keizo tries to be gentle...but once he gets into it he can be a bit rough! If you're into it, just enjoy! Or speak up and he'll slow down! Hmmm I was inspired by a scene from the film Crying Freeman (which I haven't actually watched 8•|) of some ppl doin' it in a closet(?)...it's all dark and cramped and humid and their skin is so shiny and glistening it's probably the thing that awoken me to drawing people super sweaty. I just can't help myself 😳 def wanna give Keizo a scene like that. This doodle was inspired by it actually lmao

Adam is patient and gentle! Lots of kisses and verbal reassurance and checking in w/ u. He's aware of his age and he doesn't wanna come off badly so he'll let you do all the pursuing. And June will pursue him hard if she has to! He's also gonna make you beg and ask, just so he's sure sure :•) He loves to sit her up on the examining table n do things wit his mouf n fingers 😳 I'd probably make it an option to call him daddy in certain scenarios...up to u if u choose it find out what happens for urself idk 😳😳😳 or don't

Koa likes to tease you, maybe bully you a lil, but when it comes to intimacy he's a wimp! I just like the idea of making the bully bend to your will, but he likes it. It just feels good to wipe that cocky smile off his face! Step on him! Make him whimper! I know June's a virg too, but Koa is just so easy to tease it makes it feel like second nature. BUT the more time they spend together, the more confident Koa becomes. So! Enjoy havin' him under your thumb while you can cuz it might not last forever! Lloyd tries to stay composed when June starts showing an interest. He's usually alone in his server room, but secretly appreciates her company when she comes by. At first he'll act like he's too busy. He's not used to being around women! As his interest in June grows it becomes harder to hide his feelings! So June notices...and teases him! Cuz it's just so easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY 😩 Seeing his serious expression crack when you put ur hands in his pants is lots of fun :•3 And he shows you a voice he's never shown anyone else before 🤤 He does his research and with your help he'll learn exactly how to worship u 😌 IF it ever happens there has to b a new game plus where u unlock threesome scenes with Koa/Lloyd and Adam/Keizo :•x That's all 4 now! Sorry I'm fuckin' gross and don't know how to type :•|

Kagekao’s Day

A fic that follows the average day in the life of our favorite demonic trickster as he gets up to...whatever it is he gets up to. Please note I am not Japanese so the japanese used in this fic is google translated and may be inaccurate or wonky. Apologies in advance for that. Word count: 3489

Shinjuku’s Golden Gai. Arguably one of his favorite places to spend long nights drinking in. The Golden Gai, or Golden Street as tourists would call it, was a quaint little labyrinth of bars, shops and clubs. He’d squeezed himself into a random bar, he wasn’t sure if he’d been there before but the place did serve some damn good umeshu. He’d already drank maybe two bottles worth. It was surprising they would still serve him after so much. Maybe it was because he didn’t get drunk very easily. He was tipsy at most.

He snapped his fingers as a waiter walked past his booth. He propped his clawed feet up on the table as he turned to look at him. He held up his empty glass, shaking it a bit. The ice clinked quietly as he did so. ‘’Motto kudasai.’’ he chirped. The waiter nodded and walked off to grab him another drink. He settled down again, ready to get himself comfy for bottle number three, but then his phone rang. He scowled and reached into his pocket, hitting answer without even looking at the caller ID. ‘’Osu.’’ he grunted, playing with his scarf. He heard a deep chuckle on the other side of the phone.

‘’Well hello there,’’ the voice was deep, and oozed charisma. He smiled and sat up. ‘’Is this a bad time, Kagekao?’’ 

He giggled. ‘’No, no, kami-sensei. Not at alllll.’’ he purred. ‘’To what do I owe the pleasure, hmmmmm?’’

The man on the other end of the phone chuckled again. ‘’I have a job for you. Think you could drop by? We’d love to see you again.’’

He swung his feet off the table and grinned, giggling. ‘’Of course, of course!’’ he chirped. ‘’Sounds fun! Very very fun, kekekeke!’’ he reached into his dress, pulling his wallet from one of the ever-so-delightful pockets. He pulled out the yen and tossed it onto the table. ‘’I’ll be there soon!’’ 

‘’Good, good. I’ll see you soon then.’’ the voice on the phone purred before hanging up. Kagekao skittered out of the bar and off to see Zalgo.

Getting to Zalgo’s realm was easy enough. Find a wall, draw a giant ‘Z’ on it and simply wait for the gates of hell to open up! Kagekao gleefully waltzed through the tunnel to the barren wasteland Zalgo resided in. It was a very dreary place...and Kagekao loved that! He took his time getting to the house. He liked messing with the lost souls that roamed the wasteland. They weren’t really able to fight back, and couldn’t think enough to be anything but innocently confused and curious. Kagekao playfully cackled to himself as he skittered off to Zalgo’s nice, cozy house.

Now he could have taken the door that was always left unlocked, but that was boring! Instead, he scaled the house and made his way up to the chimney. He squeezed himself into it and rapidly skittered down, being as loud as possible in the process. He giggled at the confused shouts and noises he could hear through the wall. He stopped near the entrance of the chimney. The fireplace was unlit. 

‘’Kekekekekeke…’’ 

He heard shuffling in the room. The rustle of a newspaper, or magazine. Then someone, male, sighing. He giggled. ‘’Jason! Can you come here a second?’’ he called out, mimicking the young, feminine voice of Jane. The male grunted and got off the couch, crossing the room.

‘’Yes?’’ 

While he was occupied, Kagekao crawled out of the fireplace and onto the ceiling. He tilted his head, turning to look at the redheaded man standing in the doorway, his back turned to Kagekao. The demon pulled his scarf up onto the ceiling, out of sight, before replying. ‘’Nevermind, I got it!’’

Jason grunted and turned, walking back over to the armchair he’d been sitting in. Kagekao silently crept along the ceiling until he was directly over where the toymaker sat. Biting back a giggle, he braced himself, then let go of the ceiling. The screech Jason let out had him cackling.

‘’KEKEKEKEKE! Mitsuketa!!’’ he giggled as he rolled over in Jason’s lap and sat up, pressing his mask to the toymaker’s shocked face. Jason blinked a couple times before his lips curled into a snarl. He shoved Kagekao off of him roughly, sending the giggling demon to the floor. Kagekao rolled over onto his hands and knees and snapped his neck to the side a few times, making loud snapping noises as he did so. ‘’Ya-ho!’’ he chirped in greeting. Jason growled and kicked at him. The demon quickly backflipped out of the way with a giggle. 

‘’What are you doing here?’’ Jason snapped. Kagekao giggled again and leapt to his feet.

‘’Zalgo called me!’’ he chirped. Jason huffed and shook his head, muttering to himself. Kagekao snapped his neck around at the sound of footsteps approaching the room. He grinned beneath his mask at the sight of Zalgo standing in the doorway, smirking as he always did. ‘’Ya, kami-sensei!’’ he greeted excitedly. Zalgo chuckled.

‘’Hello Kagekao.’’ he greeted calmly before tilting his head, golden eyes flicking to the angry toymaker. ‘’Jason, shouldn’t you be bringing guests up to my lounge? The living room is hardly a place for me to have formal discussions.’’

Jason glared at Zalgo like he wanted nothing more than to tear the smug god to shreds. ‘’He came down the chimney.’’ he replied bluntly. Kagekao nodded.

‘’It’s true! Then I dropped into Jason’s lap.’’ he purred. Literally. Like a cat. ‘’He’s very warm and snuggly, kekeke.’’

‘’Well that’s good to know.’’ Zalgo murmured back. Jason buried his face in his magazine and did the breathing exercises Alice had been teaching him. Zalgo looked back over at Kagekao and smiled warmly. ‘’Come, I’d like to speak with you in private.’’ he glanced at Jason for a second before turning on his heel and gesturing for Kagekao to follow. He followed obediently, though he didn’t stop himself from looking around and touching anything that caught his interest. Zalgo didn’t seem to mind very much. 

He led Kagekao into his lounge. Though it also worked as an office. It was a big room, with high walls covered with bookshelves and drawers, along with a few trinkets. A mannequin with a pair of goggles on it, a glass case with giant butterfly wings in it, and a perfectly preserved human heart! That last one was Kagekao’s favorite, though Zalgo didn’t like him touching it. Zalgo strode over to the large desk and sat himself down on it, watching Kagekao intently as he skittered around the room a few times before deciding to flop himself into an oversized armchair. He curled his knees up, kneading his claws into the fabric as he got comfy before relaxing. He purred to himself before looking at Zalgo, who’s expression had turned more serious now.

‘’Do you have any wine?’’ he asked. Zalgo looked at him for a moment before snapping his fingers. Flames burst into the air, then disappeared. Leaving a bottle of wine in their place. The bottle fell down into Kagekao’s lap. He giggled happily and quickly uncorked it. 

‘’I have an assignment for you,’’ Zalgo murmured, his voice serious now that they were in private. ‘’It’s important. This is something only you can do for me, Kagekao. I trust you can get it done.’’

‘’Mmm…’’ Kagekao pulled his mask up and chugged some wine straight from the bottle. He’d have preferred a glass, to let the wine air out and settle more, but he was thirsty from all the time he’d spent drinking earlier. ‘’Of course. I can do anything.’’

‘’Good.’’ Zalgo leaned back where he sat. ‘’I want you to check on the proxies. Ask them if they’ve seen anyone...out of the ordinary recently. Wearing a mask.’’

Kagekao looked up. ‘’Out of the ordinary?’’ he cocked his head. ‘’You’re never specific, are you kami-sensei?’’ he added with a laugh. ‘’I can do it though! No problem. I’ll get to see the goggle brothers again!!’’

Zalgo arched a brow. ‘’The goggle brothers?’’

‘’Doby and Toby!’’ Kagekao threw his arms up, then squeaked when he almost spilled wine on himself. 

Zalgo smiled a small bit. ‘’Call them what you like,’’ he murmured as he stood up. ‘’Just make sure you don’t mention me-’’

‘’I know I know.’’ Kagekao cut in as he slurped down more wine. ‘’They can’t know you’re the person behind the Operator, lies and deception, I get it.’’ Zalgo looked surprised. He wasn’t used to being interrupted. Kagekao hopped to his feet and rocked on his heels. ‘’Can I run some errands before I report back?’’ he asked. 

Zalgo nodded. ‘’Whatever you want.’’ he replied simply. ‘’Just get it done.’’

Kagekao gleefully hopped, skipped and jumped out of Zalgo’s realm. He found himself back in the human world. Specifically somewhere in the US. He wandered through the town he’d been popped out at before finding himself in the local park. Bordering the park was a thick forest. He strolled through the trees, deeper and deeper into the forest until he came upon a cabin. Though it was closer to being a shack. Dilapidated and broken down. The wood it was made from was rotting, and nature seemed to be reclaiming it. Kagekao walked over and climbed onto the roof of the shack. He skittered across it and looked down into the backyard.

‘’Yeah it was fuckin’ weird! I don’t know- third base!- who would keep their soda in the cabinet like??’’ a young voice spoke below him.

‘’Guess they like room temperature soda.’’ a second, deeper voice replied. Two boys sat out on the back porch. Or rather, one of them was sitting on the porch. The second boy, who wore mismatched knee socks, an old purple hoodie and had fluffy chestnut hair, was sitting on the other’s lap. Kagekao climbed down the wall, staring down at the two of them intently. 

‘’Who the fuck drinks room temperature soda?’’ Doby asked as he tapped his fingers against his bare thigh. Toby shrugged and wrapped his arms around his friend, his shoulder jerking for a moment. He sighed and rested his head on Doby’s shoulder. 

Kagekao slowly reached down and ran his fingers through Toby’s curly hair. The boy jumped in surprise, his fist punching outward on instinct. ‘’Fuck off!’’ he yelped. Both of their heads snapped up suddenly, looking at the demon casually perched on the wall above them. He tilted his head to the side, grinning beneath his mask. 

Doby’s lips curled up into a grin. ‘’Hey bitch.’’ he chirped. 

Kagekao giggled again. ‘’Hisashiburi desu ne.’’ he greeted. ‘’Genki datta?’’

Doby smirked and rolled his eyes. ‘’I can’t understand you.’’ 

Kagekao climbed down off the wall and hummed. Toby watched him crawl around the porch like a cat, or some kind of lizard. ‘’It’s been a while,’’ the demon murmured. ‘’How have you two been, hm?’’ 

‘’We’re good,’’ Toby murmured. ‘’What’re you doing here?’’ 

Kagekao snapped his neck to the sides a few times, as if mimicking the boy’s tics. He sat himself in front of them, crossing his legs. ‘’Just checking on you two.’’ he hummed. ‘’Anything interesting been happening lately? Anyone wandering into the woods?’’ he asked with a grin.

Doby smiled. ‘’A couple. You know how it is…’’ He mimicked swinging a baseball bat, a clear indicator that he was remembering times when the two had had to keep intruders from finding their little base of operations..

‘’And nobody else?’’ Kagekao tilted his head. ‘’Nobody with...a mask or anything such?’’

Toby frowned. ‘’Mask?’’ he asked softly. Doby nudged him.

‘’Sorry, tic.’’ he grunted before looking back at Kagekao. ‘’What do you mean by ‘mask’?’’ he asked slowly, his eyes narrowing at the demon. 

Kagekao grinned slyly under his own mask. ‘’Someone covering their face. Hiding.’’ he replied. ‘’There’s been someone going around lately...causing issues in the community.’’ he shrugged. ‘’Don’t know their name. Just that they wear a mask and they might be causing issues.’’

Doby hummed. ‘’Nah don’t know ‘em.’’ he said. ‘’Right Toby?’’

Toby nodded, almost too enthusiastically. ‘’Right, right.’’ he parroted. Kagekao hummed and stood up. On his hands. He stretched out one of his arms, balancing his full weight on one palm. 

‘’Well then,’’ he suddenly flipped himself up into the air, landing on the ground with ease. ‘’If that’s the case...then I’ll leave you boys be.’’ he looked at the two proxies. Neither of them spoke. They just stared up at him cautiously. Kagekao laughed and stepped away from the shack, moving toward the forest again. ‘’I’ll see you two soon, hopefully.’’ he added with a sly grin.

With his work done, Kagekao could do whatever he wanted. And he knew exactly what his next visit would be. He had to take a shortcut through Zalgo’s realm, but soon enough he found himself in Louisiana. Specifically a small town in Louisiana that had a forest bordering the side of it. He perched himself up in a tree and waited and waited. Eventually, a silver minivan drove out of the forest and Kagekao grinned. He leapt out of the tree and skittered through the woods and into the fairy circle buried deep inside it. He stopped in the mansion’s front garden and giggled. The mansion was typically impenetrable, accessible only to people who had Slender’s specific marking. Which Kagekao had, though Slender didn’t need to know that.

He crawled along the side of the house, finding his way into the back garden. He poked his head out and looked into the yard. Sitting by a flower patch, humming innocently was a small girl. Her hair was fiery, turning from blonde to red as it fell around her shoulders. She wore gray dungarees and a striped shirt, rolled up to her elbows, along with a red bowtie. Her skin was a reddish-brown, dotted with bronze freckles. Kagekao slinked out from behind the house and skittered across the grass, hiding in a bush. The girl looked up in surprise. She glanced around for a few moments, her golden eyes locking on the bush he was hiding in. Slowly, she stood up and crept over to him, head tilted curiously. She crouched by the bush, reaching out carefully. 

And then he pounced. She shrieked as the two of them rolled over the grass. They came to a stop, Kagekao leaning over her. She blinked in surprise, looking at him, before grinning. ‘’Gecko!!’’ 

‘’Ya-ho Slendra-cha!.’’ he greeted with a smile. 

The girl giggled and pushed him up off of her, sitting up. ‘’Hisashiburi desu ne,’’ she replied. ‘’Genki datta?’’ 

Kagekao smiled. Ah, one of his few friends who spoke japanese. ‘’Genkidesu.’’ he replied. She smiled and tilted her head, hair falling over her shoulder.

‘’What’re you doing here?’’ she narrowed her eyes at him. A sly smile crept up her face. ‘’You’re not causing mischief are you?’’ 

Kagekao folded his legs. ‘’Nooo…’’ he shook his head. ‘’I’d never do that!’’ 

She leaned closer to him. ‘’Uh-huh?’’ she asked. ‘’My dad’s gonna be mad if he finds out you’re here…’’

Kagekao grinned at Slendra. Oh, her father certainly would be unhappy to find out he was on the property of his enemy. But Zalgo needn’t know that. ‘’Slender just went grocery shopping.’’ he replied. ‘’I saw the car leave.’’

The girl pursed her lips, a smile curling up her face. ‘’You’re planning something aren’t you?’’

‘’Your father wouldn’t notice if a wine bottle or two went missing…’’ Kagekao replied. She giggled. 

‘’You’re gonna get in troubleeeee.’’ she chided. Kagekao leaned into her.

‘’I knoooooow.’’ he replied. ‘’Now let me into your house.’’

Slendra rolled her eyes and laughed. ‘’Fine! But only if you promise to bring me those japanese potato chips I like next time you come over!’’ she pointed at him accusingly. Kagekao nodded, just eager to get his claws on some high quality wine. The girl smirked and stood up, leading the demon over to the back door. She slid it open and stepped into the neat, empty kitchen. ‘’You’re lucky Tim took Cody and EJ out you know.’’ she chided.

Kagekao padded toward the kitchen door, peering through the keyhole. ‘’Who’s home?’’ he asked.

‘’Mmm...Jeffery and Ben went with dad. Helen is in their room, and pops took the girls out.’’ she replied. ‘’So...you just gotta look out for Rachel.’’ Kagekao smirked. Rachel? She was only a human! Sure she was a psychic too but...nothing he couldn’t handle.

‘’Thank you Slendra.’’ he chirped before opening the kitchen door and skittering his way down to the basement. He flattened himself against the wall and peeked into the basement. It was sizable and comfy, with a few rooms. Including the miniature wine cellar, only across from him. His gaze moved over to the small couch on the right of the room. It was a cozy little area, with a coffee table, TV and several old gaming consoles, along with a cabinet full of games. Sitting on the couch, holding a game controller, was a woman with medium black hair, wearing an outfit of the same colour. She was playing some old shooter with monsters in it. Kagekao couldn’t be bothered to remember the name. He didn’t care for virtual games. 

Silently as possible, he climbed up the wall and reached the ceiling. He froze, snapping his neck to check on the woman. Rachel Downs...a powerful psychic, but an average human. He’d be wary of her, at the very least. He crept along the ceiling, keeping his head locked on her the whole time. He had almost, almost reached Slenderman’s stash of delicious wine when Rachel suddenly yelled out in irritation. He jolted in fear, watching her throw down the controller in her lap. ‘’God damnit!’’ she snarled. ‘’Janky ass controls…’’ she shook her head, then stood up. Kagekao cursed under his breath and threw himself over to a shadowed corner, thankful that the basement lights weren’t on. Rachel frowned and looked over at him, and though she couldn’t spot his eyes, Kagekao stared right back. A few tense moments passed before she sighed and shook her head. ‘’Fuckin’ cats…’’ she muttered to herself as she turned and walked up the stairs. Kagekao stayed frozen still for a few moments before skittering out of the corner and over to the door to the wine cellar. He unlocked it with ease, using a copy of the key he’d stolen a few months ago.

You couldn’t exactly call it a wine cellar, more of a wine...room. Shelves that were lined with bottles upon bottles of the delicious red stuff. Kagekao giggled. He had at least an hour before Slender came home. Which was plenty of time. He wasted no time getting into a bottle of his favorite brand. Slender had exquisite taste in wine. And a concerning amount of it. You’d almost think the man was an alcoholic, if it weren’t for the fact that he was an ancient ethereal being who didn’t get drunk easily. Kagekao would have claimed to have that same excuse, but he was nowhere near ancient or ethereal, and his alcohol tolerance was still nothing compared to Slender’s. Not to mention he would drink for breakfast, lunch and dinner, when Slender would at least have a glass of juice in the morning.

He told himself he’d keep track of the time. But by the time he heard thumping upstairs and three sets of footsteps he was nowhere near ready to leave. His eyes widened, listening to muffled voices upstairs.

‘’Boys, you start putting all of this away. I’ll be up in a moment to help.’

’‘’Kay dad.’’

The footsteps moved some more, and then he heard the stairs to the basement creaking. Kagekao chugged down the last of the bottle he had clutched between his feet and skittered over to another shelf. He grabbed a bottle in each hand, still listening as Slender approached the room. He staggered over to the wall at the back of the room and drew on the sigil for Zalgo’s realm. As soon as the gateway was open enough for him to slip through, he darted in and closed it behind him. Not wanting to stick around for fear that he’d been caught, he skittered down the dark, damp tunnel until he emerged into the light.

He stumbled and fell against the wall of a building. He shivered. Wow- it was cold here. He crept out from behind the building and looked around until his eyes laid upon a bathhouse in the distance. Glancing around more, he realised he was in between a couple of restaurants. The smell of freshly cooked meat and good old fashioned sake filled his nose. Kagekao grinned.

He had a few hours to kill before he had to go back to Zalgo.

Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

This Is Love (Chapter Five):Heart Like A Wildflower

Notes: Soooooo we get some Joseph POV for the first time but certainly not the last. Capturing his voice and energy is not an easy feat for me, but I hope this comes across alright. Also this chapter is a bit short for me; so, hopefully that’s still chill because I’m still very proud of it in many aspects. 

Word Count: 6253

Chapter Warnings: Joseph being a crazy motherfucker, PTSD  Faith Nips (sometimes white dresses are very sheer, don’t kill my vibe), Body Horror

For chapter one and the warnings about this fics overarching themes, please click here!

For the previous chapter; click here!

“We’re moving closer and closer to the edge; with every passing day we grow closer to the moment we’ve been preparing for. When the first seal breaks, when we will begin to reap the land for all we need to survive the collapse; to show our strength and our resilience and march through Eden’s Gate as a family. For I am your Father and you are my children…” 

“Praise be to you,” his congregation speaks to him unison, their voices echoing into cacophony in the small church.  Despite his growing flock, the church remains small and humble. Joseph much prefers it that way, despite the land and resources to expand, he never wishes to stray from their modest roots.

There’s a catch in his throat as the sermon ends; he means what he says, he always does. But, there is a new gravity to his words. The collapse is close. He knows it. There is a tension rising, the electricity in the air before the storm comes crashing down. The seal has yet to open, but it’s only a matter of time and that time is quickly running out. 

His flock stands from the pews, people of varying gender, race, experience, all united under his message. One woman comes to stand before him, a shake in her hands, Layla a young follower who works under Faith’s guidance for the project. 

It’s not uncommon for members of the flock to come speak to him following service, asking questions and needing his guidance. He knows every member by name; knows their struggles as intimately as he knows his own. So, it is no surprise to see her coming to him for counsel or comfort. Her attire is more surprising, he knows her typical manner of dress, the black leather jacket on her clashing against the vibrancy of her clothes. Behind her, Theodore, a chosen who works under John, lingers behind her. 

“Father Joseph…” She begins tentatively, unsure of herself. 

“Layla, The Father has greater concerns than what you’ve drugged in.” 

“What is it, my child?” 

“I’ve brought someone-”

“A police officer,” Theodore cuts her off, “who arrested brother Nathaniel and I.” 

“A wayward soul worthy of salvation, I don’t know how to explain it, but she saved me, and I knew I had to bring her here, if you’re able to speak with her…” 

“All are worthy of salvation, so long as they open their hearts to us and join our family,” he tells her, casting a glance at Theodore who avoids his gaze, guilt coloring his features. He is a valuable worker, perhaps one of few who can work closely with John and withstand the youngest Seed brother’s more…dramatic inclinations, but he struggles with Pride and Wrath as many do. 

“Please, Father, I don’t know if I can reach her…would you speak with her?” 

“Of course, my child.” Joseph lays a hand on her shoulder, hoping to ease some of the young woman’s nerves.

Layla and Theodore fall in step behind him as he makes his way to the door of the church; his brothers and sister are near the exit. Jacob’s scarred forearms are crossed over his chest, John fiddling with the sleeves of his coat, and Faith leaning against a pew. 

“There’s a cop outside,” Jacob tells him in warning. 

“She’s harmless, I promise.” 

Layla words do nothing to ease the tension in the eldest Seed’s body language, prepared to fight for his family and the project whenever necessary.  Joseph squeezes his older brother’s shoulder as he passes, hoping the contact can do something to ease the tension within him. 

The day has already been a stressful one for the Seed family; John spending earlier hours a mess over someone sharing a video of him online only for him to be ridiculed, something easily sending the younger brother into hysterics. Which, while that certainly hasn’t been a priority for anyone else, John has a way of making sure his concerns become everyone else’s concerns. 

Night air chills his fevered skin, wet with sweat from his sermon in the small candle lit church. Members of his flock talking amongst themselves following the service; the only sign of unrest the occasional wary glance towards the side of the church. 

“Layla, are you almost fuckin’ done? I’m freezing my tits off out here and I can’t afford to lose much more.” 

The crude statement comes from a young woman, sitting in front of the church chin perched on a motorcycle helmet. And all at once Joseph’s breath catches in his throat, pain throbbing in his temples as the hair on the back of his neck stands at end. All at once he’s struck with it, the burden of his prophetic stature, stuck with a simple fact. 

He knows. 

He knows it as well as he knows his own name. As intimately as he knows his own heartbeat. Knows it as certainly as he knows the collapse will come. Knows it as deeply as he knows the Voice. He knows it as well as he knows his own word; the prophecy and truths that he speaks. 

He knows. 

She is the Lamb.

The one who will open the first seal, the harbinger of doom, the beginning of the end. Unwittingly or not, in rebellion or in ignorance, she will be the one to bring forth the collapse. He’s felt it, the tension, the build, creeping towards the edge with every passing moment and it’s because the Lamb has arrived. They’re truly nearing the end. 

From between the ears of her helmet, her dark eyes watch everyone with intensity, flickering like a cat prepared to run or fight should anyone draw too close. Her gaze lands on him and his family; a dark brow raising, as if to question their presence on their property standing before their church. 

It has been said that over time, one stops seeing new people, seeing instead patchwork of those they’ve met before. Traits and details becoming echoes of the first person to show them. And as the Lamb stands before him; Joseph finds himself piecing her together through comparisons. 

The way her short dark hair falls across half her face only to be pushed back, reminds him of a love he lost long ago. There’s something in the eyes, as she meets his gaze, head held straight. Memories of a young Jacob standing up for him; the unbreakable will and fire always burnishing behind his eyes, an unspoken strength. She holds that same strength, but much like Faith it hides behind a soft face and a short build, just shy of being the height of his shoulder. When her gaze lands on Layla, the way the side of her mouth quirks up, the raise of her eyebrow; mischief and confidence radiating off of the expression, brings back memories of John using his silver tongue to get them out of trouble.  He knows people, can read their hearts; she’s a soldier, a survivor. Someone needing a purpose, not yet aware that she already has one. 

It is easy to blame the Lamb for their role, for opening the seals and beginning the end. But the Lamb works in the place of the Lord, whether they know it or not, they’re the hands through which he acts.  Setting forth the Collapse is not an act of malice on the part of their Creator. That first seal must be opened and someone must do it; it’s what must happen for those chosen to reach New Eden. Whether she will do it aligned with them and understanding of her role or not remains to be seen. She is chosen as well, a special soul given the gift of  purpose, what she does with her gift is another matter entirely. 

“I’m done waiting, Layla, jacket,” The Lamb speaks, holding her hand out to Layla. The out of place leather jacket clearly meant to drape across her shoulders instead of the flock member’s. He watches the muscles beneath her shirt  shift, pulling tighter over her biceps as she impatiently waits.

“You should have come inside, the time would have flown by,” Layla tells her. 

“Nah, in my experience sermons last even longer when you actually have to listen to ‘em,” her deep brown eyes flicker to Joseph, “no offense.”

“None taken, I’m Joseph Seed,” he extends his hand to her and she slowly takes it, as if he may strike her, her hand is scarred and calloused, a rough burn across her palm. 

“Nice to meet ya, I, uh, recognize you from the giant fuckin’ statue.” 

“Isn’t it lovely, you can feel his love spreading across the land,” Faith speaks up, the statue her doing, “it’s nice to see you again.” 

For the first time, The Lamb drops her gaze, red flushing across her tawny cheeks. 

“You know her, Faith?” 

“We saw each other briefly, a week or so ago, she reached out for me.” 

“Uh, yeah, I’m like real fuckin’ sorry about that,” she scratches the back of her head, “I, uh, thought you were someone else…” 

“Is that so?” 

“Yeah…” She stares at her feet, fiddling with her uniform shirt, a lie. 

“Well, I’m not sure who you thought I was, but I’m Faith.” 

“Nice to meet ya, for real. And…sorry again.” 

“While we're making introductions, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m John Seed,” the youngest Seed brother steals her attention, sticking a hand out for her to shake. His lawyer smile bright and wide, more Duncan than Seed in the moment. 

“Uh,” she reluctantly shakes his hand, “likewise I guess…” 

“We’re always happy to meet one of this county’s finest.” 

Jacob scoffs and rolls his eyes, the least tolerant of John’s chameleon-like behavior, knowing full well that just a week ago John was complaining about the police force for arresting Theodore and Nathaniel. This exact officer doing so, according to the former.

“’preciate it, but uh, if the introductions are done,” she tells him as she drops his hand, she’s not phased or charmed, refocusing on Layla again, “I’m actually kinda in a hurry, so if I could just get my jacket back, I’d appreciate it.” 

“Layla, are you holding her jacket hostage?” He casts a soft gaze towards Layla, no malice, it’s nothing significant and despite The Lamb’s insistence on getting it back. She doesn’t appear angry, just…on edge.  Layla shrinks, like a scolded child. 

“Maybe…I just wanted her to meet you.” 

“A noble cause, my child,” he squeezes her shoulder, “but we’ve inconvenienced her enough.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”  

Layla pulls the leather jacket from her shoulders and hands it to Joseph, head ducked down. He offers it back to The Lamb with a gentle smile, a gesture she returns with hesitance, the expression not quite reaching her eyes as she takes her jacket from him.

“Thanks…” She pulls it on, despite being a little large on the small woman, it suits her. 

“This Friday, we’re having a barbecue following our service, it’s open to everyone, if you’d like to come.” 

“While I definitely, totally, would if I could, but I work Fridays so….,” she shrugs her shoulders, “I’ll just get out of your hair, now.” 

And she’s off, a quick hand wave as she rushes out of the gates, eager to get away from them and the church. Hopefully, his words will reach her and she’ll find the path before it’s too late. Her role as Lamb has marked her worth, her importance, the significance of her salvation. 

Dahlia slams her trailer door shut behind her, scrubbing her hands over her face. She feels dirty, gross and vile. Religious people do that to her, make her feel like something is wrong with her. They’re pure and she’s filthy. Meeting them, The Seeds was even more off putting than she expected. They’re not bad people; at least she can’t make that sort of judgment off of a five minute interaction. But, they’re off. From John’s businessman smile that didn’t meet his eyes to Joseph’s intense gaze that cut through to her soul. They hardly felt human. Though, if they weren’t off, she can’t say she’d feel any different, given her hatred of religion. 

She hasn’t ventured to step foot in the church in Falls End and hasn’t talked to the pastor there either; a streak she plans to maintain. Unless they need her out there as a cop, she’s not spending casual time there. Even free food isn’t enough to tempt her into spending time at church. She takes a shower, watches tv with a lackluster microwave meal as dinner and tries not to think about that family for the rest of the night. 

The Seeds are already close to a distant memory as she works the next day; stuck as a desk jockey to her misery. Filling out paperwork for hunting violations; that and traffic violations are the biggest crimes of Hope County. She understands the importance of protecting the environment and the animals but does the paperwork for it feels like fucking overkill. Her hands are cramping from typing and signing shit, all because a bunch of idiots decided to go hunting bucks out of season. 

Something pings off her skull, a crumpled piece of paper falling to her desk after hitting her. She glares at Pratt who’s smirking like the little shit he is. She throws it right back, pelting his cheek when he turns away. He rips another piece of paper from a notebook, crumpling it up into a ball and throwing it at her face only for her to bat it back at him. Then she rips a piece of paper out of her own notebook and throws it at Pratt’s dumb face. 

She hits Pratt in the nose with one; it falls and adds to the pile of paper balls that’s built around them, when the door opens. Nancy, the dispatcher and secretary for all intents and purposes, popping her head in. 

“Deputy Hale,” she speaks softly to catch her attention, “there’s someone here to see you.” 

“Me?” 

Dahlia looks over to Pratt as if he knows something but he just shrugs. She clambers up from her chair, double checking that her uniform is in order for utmost professionalism as she leaves the bullpen office; Pratt following in tow whether from curiosity or boredom she’s not sure. 

In the lobby is Layla from the other night, flashing a bright smile Dahlia’s way when she emerges. She’s holding a Tupperware container and the young deputy can’t help raising an eyebrow; what is going on here?

“Deputy Hale!” 

“Hey, is something wrong?” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Layla shakes her head emphatically, “I thought I’d bring you something to eat.” 

She thrusts the Tupperware container out at Dahlia who reluctantly takes it, brushing across Layla’s hands and feeling the warmth of the food. 

“Why?” 

Pratt elbows her in the ribs when she asks the questions mouthing the words ‘don’t be rude’ at her when she looks at him incredulously. It’s a genuine question, why the fuck would Layla bring her food? Not that she’s complaining, it’s just weird.

“Well, you don’t cook right?” she notes Dahlia’s confusion, “your grocery bags last night were full of microwave meals or packaged crap, I figured you could use some decent food. As thanks, for helping me.” 

“Uh, yeah cooking isn’t…a huge priority for me.” 

“Her lunches are usually energy drinks and zingers,” Pratt cuts in, literally no one needs that information, so she elbows him in the ribs right back. 

“That’s not good, Deputy, you should take care of yourself…eating garbage, smoking, you should be more concerned with your health.” 

“I appreciate your concern, but if your meals come with lecture, I’m gonna pass,” Dahlia tries to push the container of food back into Layla’s hands. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just worried about you…I think you should really reconsider coming to our barbecue Friday.” 

“Not happening.” 

“I’m sure, if you gave our church a chance-”

“Layla, I said no and I meant it.” 

“But-“ 

“No buts,” Dahlia puts the food down on the counter, “I know you mean well, but you need to back off.” 

With that Dahlia marches back into the office; heat simmering beneath her skin. It stings at the back of her eyes, claws and burns it’s way up her throat. She runs her hand down her face, raking her nails down the skin harder than necessary as if she could carve out her anger as if the red lines could free that feeling, release it from her body. 

Stripes for the backs of fools, they are to the soul what healing blood is to a wound, for the Lord disciplines the one he loves. 

She kicks her desk, the voice reverberating in her skull isn’t her own and she wishes nothing more than to carve her own head open, to cut his voice and memory out like a cancer. 

“The fuck was that about?” Pratt asks as he comes into the office, nearly making Dahlia jump out of her skin. He’s carrying the Tupperware container of food, raising an eyebrow at her as if she’s grown a second head. 

“I helped her out last night, some dude was harassing her, I had to wait outside a church for hours and now they’re trying to drag me to some fuckin’ barbecue.” 

“And you reacted like a lunatic, because?” 

“’Cause I don’t like being harassed into religious shit.” 

“Eden’s Gate invites everyone to their little barbecues,” Pratt shrugs, “it's not a big deal, just some free food.” 

“If I say no the first time, no the second time, no the third time; don’t ask me a fourth time. It’s not that fuckin’ complicated.” 

Dahlia plops herself down in her chair, kicking at her desk again as she does so, as if it’s to blame for the mess in her head. 

“Eh,” Pratt shrugs, “they don’t mean anything by it, not really.”

“I don’t like it,” she says again with a groan, pinching the bridge of her nose, why can’t people just accept she doesn’t like this. Why is she in the wrong for not wanting to be badgered?

“You’re...surprisingly sensitive, you know that?”

“Piss off, I’m not sensitive.”

“You kinda sorta are. Bail on the F.A.N.G Center ‘cause it’s too noisy, avoid bars, avoid barbecues, hate church. Do you even like being around people at all?”

“Sometimes, it just depends….like what’s going on, how many sounds there are... and stuff.”

“So, you’re sensitive.”

“Well, doesn’t it bug you! It’s manipulation, food and barbecues to trick you into a false sense of security, then bam, you’re dealing with an eight hour lecture on how god ruins your life ‘cause he loves you or some shit.”

“And...we give people coffee before interrogations and then bam, they’re in a cell. We’re not any better.  Everyone is at least a little manipulative, it’s just life, why is it any worse when christians do it?”

“It’s not, I just, I just don’t like church, okay? Can we drop this?”

“Okay, okay, but if you don’t want the food…”

“Keep it, my appetites gone, just give some to Petunia.”

He rolls his eyes but, when he thinks she’s not looking he goes out back. Pratt can say what he wants but he has just a big soft spot for that opossum.  The day continues with desk work; Whitehorse scolding them for the paper mess when he sees it. Hudson calls them children and honestly, they kind of are. She’s not sure why Pratt brings out that immature gremlin part of her, but at least it’s fun.

“You know, this is your fault,” Dahlia tells Pratt as she’s picking up crumpled paper and tossing it in the trash can. Whitehorse said their better not be any paper on the floor by the time they clock out. It’s getting very close to that time; Dahlia having procrastinated the clean up and, well, Pratt is still leaning back in his chair like he hasn’t got a care.

“According to you, everything’s my fault.”

“I mean, yeah, but it’s true.”

“How you figure?”

“You threw the first paperwad at me.”

“You didn’t have to throw one back.”

“You didn’t have to throw one in the first place!”

“That’s besides the point.”

“It’s literally the entire point.”

Another crumpled piece of paper rattles off her skull, plopping down to the pile. She glares up at Pratt who’s smirking like he’s the funniest person in the world. Everyone keeps telling her how Whitehorse is soft and easy on her, which may be true, she has no doubt that being sent their way by Lloyd has made the sheriff more fond of her. But, she can’t expect that to keep her safe from reprimand. She’s still on probationary hire and has to try to be on her best behavior at least some of the time.

“Pratt, you’re in more danger of getting your ass reamed than her, so you should probably watch it,” Hudson pipes up, checking her phone as they get closer to quitting time.

“No ones getting reamed, it’s paper, for fucks sake.”

“Doesn’t mean he won’t make you stay back to clean it up.”

“Eh, sounds like a job for a probie,” Pratt tells Hudson, before throwing a paper ball at Dahlia’s head. She chews her lip and adds to it; that’s a thought, Pratt getting stuck behind on clean up. She may be short, but she’s fast… Dahlia watches the time as she keeps throwing paper balls into the otherwise empty trash can.

“You’re just being an ass now,” Hudson tells him as they near the final minute of their shift. Dahlia standing up with a now filled trash can.

“Hey, Pratt,” Dahlia catches his attention, “got ya a hat.”

She promptly plops the trashcan on his head , paper falling down on him and slaps the side of it for equal measure.

“Fuckin’ hell!” He yells as she darts off, his problem now.

“Bye Hudson!” She calls out behind her as she rushes to clock out and leave the station, hyena cackling as she goes. The image of him with that trash can on his head, god she hoped Hudson managed to take a photo for her.

Her cheeks hurt from smiling, her stomach from laughing as she jumps onto her motorcycle. A peaceful ride back to the trailer park, the wind whipping past her and music rattling inside of her helmet.

Then she sees her.

Faith looks so completely out of place in front of the rundown trailer park, long white dress fluttering in the breeze as she balances on a rock near the entrance. Un-fucking-relentless. Her green eyes spark alight when she sees Dahlia pulling up on her motorcycle, waving her direction. Dahlia rides right past her, if she pretends she didn’t see her, it’s fine. She locks up her bike and makes a beeline for her trailer door.

Just as she’s closed it behind her, intent on avoiding the pushy little church mouse, a knock rings out. She can’t exactly say she’s not home, can she? The young deputy opens the door a crack, Faith standing on her porch as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, smiling when she sees Dahlia’s face poking through.

“Deputy.”

“I already told Layla off for this pushy crap, I ain’t in the mood for preaching.”

“I just wanted to chat, is that so wrong?” Faith asks as Dahlia pushes the door open just a hair more.

“Does this chat involve trying to get me into church?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t had it yet.”

“I appreciate the honesty, but,” she glances down seeing Faith’s bare feet, “are you not wearing shoes?”

“Uh...no.”

“Are you stupid?” Dahlia asks, finally opening the door fully.

“That’s rude.”

“There are needles on the ground, dumbass, needles.”

“So, walk with me and make sure I don’t get hurt.”

“Y’all really like taking advantage of my kindness, don’t you?”

“So, you don’t want to walk with me?”  She pouts and bats her eyelashes up at Dahlia.

“Come on,” Dahlia tells her as she leaves, “let's get this over with.”

“Are you always so negative?”

“Life tends to do that.”

Faith walks alongside Dahlia as they leave the trailer park; watching carefully as the woman walks, to ensure she doesn’t step on anything dangerous. Not that the church mouse seems to have any concern about the issue, nearly floating along as if she’s meant to be there.

“It does, your life has worn on you a lot, hasn’t it?”

“No more than anyone else.”

“I doubt that.”

“Do you?”

“I expected to be waiting on you for longer…”

“Why?” Dahlia raises an eyebrow as Faith balances across stones in the field around the trailer park.  

The white clad woman starts to wobble, sticking her arms out to balance herself from the misstep, and Dahlia instinctively sticks her own hand out to catch her. Their hands catch each other, skin brushing together. Dahlia bristles and tries to pull away, the warmth of someone else’s skin jolting her, but Faith intertwines their fingers before she can avoid the touch. 

Faith’s hand is slimmer than her own, but the fingers slightly longer, more elegant. The skin softer and nicer than Dahlia’s too, smooth without calluses or scars.

“Everyone knows the deputies go to the bar after work; the one in Falls End, I assumed you’d be with them.”

“I can’t drink, legally, yet.”

“So, you can’t be there without drinking? Don’t they invite you?”

“No one wants to take a teetotaler to a bar.”

“That sounds lonely, do you have friends in the trailer park?”

The sky's alight with stars, dotting the black blanket of night. A chill in the air hangs through as the night settles in, goosebumps prickling up at the places her skin shows. She wanders how Faith stands it, in her thin white dress. Her eyes cast down at the woman and she realizes how truly thin the dress is; the soft pink of nipples just showing through. Someone should buy Faith a coat…and shoes…

“Not really a cop friendly place, pretty sure they’d rather hang me than be my friend,” Dahlia looks back to the sky, ignoring her discovery to try and find Andromeda.

“Do you have family nearby? You’re not from around here, are you?”

“I’m not close with my family and uh, from Louisiana.” That’s all the information she offers, not comfortable spilling her life story to some stranger, even a soft handed stranger with pretty eyes.

“So, you’re all alone.”

“Thank you for the observation.”

“Layla said she was worried about you, you’re alone and don’t even take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, uh, I think you all worry a bit too much about me.”

“It can be hard, accepting kindness when you’re so used to cruelty,” Faith pivots to face Dahlia and captures her other hand, intertwining the fingers there as well, “we become accustomed to the pain, thinking it’s what we deserve. So, when we are shown love, it feels wrong, unnatural, it scares us so we avoid it.”

“Are we done with this conversation? I wanna be done with this conversation.”

Dahlia yanks her hands from Faith’s, the intensity of her words and her gaze eating away at the deputy. But Faith yelps, the sudden move knocking off her balance from the little stone ledge she’s been walking along. Dahlia jumps up the ledge and recaptures one of Faith’s hands and wraps an arm around the woman’s waist, to catch her further. 

They stare at each other for a moment, soft green eyes looking up at her, they’re pressed close together in this position. The warmth of the youngest Seed’s siblings body pressing against her, nearly every inch of their bodies together. Faith feels so delicate, lithe and fragile in her arms. Breath fanning across each other’s faces, the tiniest of spaces having stopped them from an accidental kiss. Any passerby might think they were dancing and Dahlia had dipped Faith. 

A little...awkward, but at least Faith didn’t go tumbling back onto rocks.  Pink colors the apples of Faith’s cheeks, faint across her delicate cheeks.

“You okay?” Dahlia asks, maybe the cold is stinging Faith’s skin or she was flustered from the slip?

“Just fine, thank you,” Faith says as Dahlia steps back, gently guiding Faith off the little ledge, back safely on the ground.  The deputy’s eyes find the expanses of Faith’s arms, scars catching the moonlight. A chemical formula seemingly carved into one arm; each covered in track marks. Faith fiddles with a dirty blond lock of hair, focusing her gaze on the ground. 

“Are we done, now?”

“I know you’re busy and I know you’re reluctant, but even if it seems like there’s no place for you anywhere, there’s always a place for you with us.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’ll leave you for now, then. I hope to see you soon.”

“Good night, Church Mouse, be safe.”

They part ways, Dahlia making her way back to the trailer park. She has no true desire to deal with Faith or Eden’s Gate, but she seemed less pushy at the very least. Though the conversation wasn’t anymore fun. Layla’s conversation left her nearly foaming at the mouth. Faith’s has left her wanting to find the nearest hole and bury herself in it. Yes, Dahlia is a lonely piece of shit, thank you so much for pointing it out church mouse.

She closes her trailer door behind her, more aware than ever that her trailer is empty. No one to greet her, no one to talk to. No friends to spend her nights with, no family to call or do anything with. Lloyd and Caroline are people she cares about, certainly, but she’s not their kid. She was a two-year charity case.

After a shower, Dahlia lands on the couch, watching tv again. When she thinks of it, she hasn’t slept much in her bed since moving in here. Spending most of her free time in the trailer on the couch; falling asleep watching tv, listening to music, or reading horror manga on her phone. 

Dahlia tried the first night, the large bed the trailer came with clearly meant to accommodate a potential couple. She’s not sure how to distinguish bed sizes; if it’s a double, a king, a queen, whatever. But she knows every bed she’s ever slept in before, aside from a few early childhood nights of crawling into her mother and dad’s bed, she’s been in one meant for just a single person. Her childhood bed, her bed at Lloyd and Caroline’s, or she’s been without a bed entirely. Sleeping in her share of closets, on benches, on the floor, etc. She can sleep on a park bench or in the bayou muck, but not in too large of a bed.  It makes absolutely no sense, but she’s use to being a cluster fuck of a human being. 

She smokes a cigarette, easing her nerves, trying not to think about her conversation with Faith. The loneliness that keeps seeping into her chest and following her wherever she goes. She’s long ago accepted that it’s a part of her life now, a part of her, and no one else is to blame. There’s no place or group of people that will erase. 

People, groups, like Eden’s Gate like to tell people they have the cure. That panacea to fix every trouble someone may have. They give pretty smiles and tell people that with a little bit of faith they’ll find a place where they belong. That following their ways eases that ache, makes everything okay. 

But, it’s not true. Not for her at least. God never made her feel more at ease, more at peace, there’s no god strong enough to ease the ache of loneliness. Nothing on the outside can fix what’s wrong with her inside. She can sing hymns and praise the man in the sky until she’s blue in the face, but it will never make her happy. 

If anything, the idea of god just pisses her off more. 

Someone who is supposed to hold all the power, who knows each of his creations intimately, yet doesn’t give enough of a shit to save them. This supposed god watched and knew her suffering, knew everyone’s suffering, and didn’t care. Hell, even the bible makes it clear god is a dick.  

Why the fuck should she praise him? 

If he were real, she’d punch him. 

Eden’s Gate likely means well; she knows that. They think they’re doing the right thing, saving her soul. All strong religious types think that way; they tell you you’re going to burn in hell as a helpful warning like letting you know your shoe is untied, they just don’t want you to get hurt. 

If hell is real…eternal damnation is worth it to piss off god. 

She staggers up and out of bed, the bed she doesn’t sleep in,  something itches at the back of her throat. Dahlia doesn’t question it, she moves, something is climbing up her esophagus. Rough and tearing up the tender flesh. Metallic taste of blood clings to her taste buds, cloying and noxious as she runs down the hallway towards her bathroom. The fluorescent light of it is like a beacon in the twilight hours. She doesn’t remember her hallways being this long, but with the urgency of something tearing her throat open from the inside, she doesn’t question it.

Dahlia reaches her bathroom and grabs the sides of the sink, nails digging into white porcelain, the strength of her hold is the only thing keeping her grounded. She coughs and gags, spattering blood across it, staining the white. Her breath staggers and stalls unable to break past what’s clogging her throat, ripping it apart. Blood and bile coating her tongue as she tries to get it out.

She coughs and hacks to no avail, only more blood for her troubles as it carves away at her throat. Dahlia shoves her fingers into her mouth, pushing further into her throat, trying to get a hold of whatever it is, to pry it out.

Then she gags and it all comes out; full white blossoms tinged pink with her blood fall into the sink. She spits out soft stained petals and dark green leaves. The flowers from the field by the trailer park, that were outside the church, that she saw when she first saw visions of Faith. She thinks she’s free, the flowers free from her throat. When her stomach churns again, gagging and coughing as fresh blossoms burst forwards from her throat. Each one cutting off her air for a nauseating moment before she can force it out. Again and again, blood stained flowers fall from her mouth. Her vision swims as white flowers float in a puddle of blood within her sink.

Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.  Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.

She falls to her knees, clutching at the base of her throat as she vomits again, blood and flowers splattering on her thighs. Dahlia gasps and takes in a desperate breath, throat raw and aching. Blood coating her teeth and tongue, syrupy and metallic, a petal stuck to her lips as she gasps. A soft sputtering cough sends blood spittle into her hands.

Is it over?

A tickle itches at the back of her raw and stinging throat, her stomach feels bloated with expanding and blossoming flowers ready to climb up her tender airway. She retches into her hand, bloody petals coating and clinging to her hand as she struggles to puke the rest up, blood dripping down her wrist in heavy drops.

Somewhere a woman laughs, the sound echoing in the bathroom, surrounding her. Mocking her pain or celebrating it; she can’t be certain. 

Dahlia wakes up with a jolt, a cold sweat clinging to her skin as she gags and coughs, the phantom sensation of flowers in her throat. She sits on the edge of the catch, sputtering to catch her breath. Nothing is in her throat, the dream was ridiculous, vomiting flowers. But it felt real and her throat aches deeply. She rubs at the back of her neck, waiting for her heart to stop rabbiting in her chest, for the tension in her muscles to fade. 

She stands from the couch and takes the short walk to her bathroom, legs wobbling as she moves. The pure clear white of her sink is a stark contrast to the red stained one, filled with flowers, in her nightmare. There’s still a tickle in her throat, a faint metallic tang of blood on her tongue; echoes of her nightmare. The faint sound of laughter still resonates in her skull as she scrubs water over her face, as if she could wash the nightmare from her mind. 

So I LOVED your Sheridan and Warren fic!! The two of them are hilarious because that are just trying their best those poor boys! I had a hypothetical, so like in all those AU where Prue is wished alive in I Dream of Phoebe, what would happen in this situation? Would Prue go see her sisters or would she go find her kids? ALSO Prue as the boys magical (deceased) guide is Perf 👌🏻

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA tysm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love my boys so much i’m really trying to keep them like. like as removed from proper magic as possible bc i just think it’s really fucking funny to just follow two bimbos around as they try their best. i’ve also def like tinkered w canon a lil bit as explained in this post here only to keep them further away from aunts who could explain everything like they don’t even have a whitelighter bc paige was supposed to fill that role really the only person they have is prue who gave them a crash course when she unbound their powers as explained in this post and they will occasionally summon her but even then it’s less for advice and more bc like. they want 2 talk to their mom. and i do think prue will occasionally try to make like guest appearances on their birthday she’d def be a presence kinda like how grams was a presence for the girls if they had a book of shadows prue would do the flipping. but they don’t. she did guide their familiar to them!! the cat’s name is swizzlesticks and yes it is just kit again lmao. But. Ur Question. so basically in w&s’s origins jack raised them post prue death and like he kinda fucked off to japan for the rest of the show (sidenote both warren and sheridan are quasi fluent in japanese like jack the only difference is while jack uses his bilingual talents for business the twins almost exclusively use this ability to multitask while watching anime) so i think piper and phoebe had like Zero contact w their nephews and paige actually has never met them like she didn’t even really know they existed bc deadass just no one mentioned them. so like if prue is wished back to life in i dream of phoebe for starters she’s gonna know chris is piper and leo’s son bc she’s been keeping an ear to the ground and Heavily monitoring this chris situation before she assessed that he was good she spent a lot of time trying to figure out if a ghost should beat the shit out of an alive witch so idk who’s wishing prue alive in this specific au tbh u know what richard’s kinda off the shits this ep he’s probably wish prue back to life to try to prove to paige that she doesn’t have to be a charmed one she can just be paige :) and paige would lose her SHIT bc like oh my god that was not what she wanted and she’s so not ready to meet prue but here she is lmao and chris is freaking out bc now he really knows he’s altered the future in Major ways i think piper would see prue and immediately pass out and while i think prue would really really want to see her kids her first task would definitely be fixing the future and she would entirely dedicate herself to making sure wyatt doesn’t become evil but i think like she would pull chris aside and be like hi in your future where are my kids and chris would be like who? and prue would be like my sons?? warren & sheridan???? and chris would be like what?????? bc this whole time if wyatt was indeed not the eldest son like are you Fucking Kidding Me????? but no he’s never even heard of warren and sheridan bc in the dark future their powers were simply never unbound and they just continued to live as mortals and may or may not be dead depending on how good the witch finder bots are but like. i don’t think even if wyatt knew they existed he would want to find them bc that just draws attention to the fact they existed and he’s not the firstborn of the next gen so either they’re doing fine-ish all things considered or they just like died lowkey. but chris didn’t even was remotely aware of their existence. and i think this would kinda send prue into a bit of a tailspin bc her boys are so far removed from their legacy and their family (and they’re being raised by jack yikes!!) and she’s like no these are my kids but if she wants to get where they are she either needs to book a fight or find a whitelighter so i think this would specifically be a prue/paige adventure which is also nice bc paige is omnilingual and prue does not speak japanese so like. idk cute adventure. probably use some monster from japanese mythology to save either some smallish town or alternately a major city bc both of those r fun. i think if jack saw prue again he would start throwing things at her and stuff bc he’d be convinced this is some demon here to kill his kids just like they killed her bc haha that’s not a recurring nightmare lmao so i think prue would cast the truth spell right then and there to prove she’s really her which also leads to some good comedy and character development bc jack paige and prue are all under a truth spell and there is a lot unsaid between all of these characters with paige’s inferiority complex and prue and jack’s true feelings for each other and issues caused by prue’s death y’know blah blah blah but i think prue would really use this opportunity to bring warren & sheridan back into the fold so to speak and bring them to the manor and properly train them in the craft and tbh in this specific au i think prue and jack would actually end up together. bc in any other world i’m saying they literally just coparent like they’re fond of each other and will always love the other in like some way but it’s not like Love but i think here specifically it’s like. like the time spent apart where jack just like fucking wishes prue was there and realized what an absolute sap and hopeless romantic he is bc yeah he always like grand gestures and clowning around but like. warren and sheridan’s first steps? and jack was just fucking alone like ngl he almost cried bc he just wished. like prue should have been there. she would have been a great mom. she was a great mom. and his kids deserve their mom and like. he just wishes he could have shared that moment with her. completely unbeknownst to jack prue actually does like you know watch over them all and she’s just like. like blown away by jack. like never in a million years would she have thought he was capable of doing what he did. like. like wow man. and i think the combination of those two like actually having them together again and raising their kids i think romance would blossom again. and i think it would be this insane slowburn bc i think y’know like. like it only happened the first time bc jack pursued prue and was like stubborn and stupid and he like knew she was outta his league but it didn’t matter bc that relationship was just for funsies it was a fling it was never meant to be permanent but if jack were to pursue it know it’s be like. permanent. you know? and jack just doesn’t think prue feels the same way like jack’s a fuckin idiot he knows that and prue’s like a witch? like an insanely talented with and a successful photographer back from the dead don’t worry about it lmao and she just like. she takes the world by storm she balances her career and motherhood and saving the motherfucking world like how could she ever. she would never want to be with someone like jack like that’s just. it’s not in the cards. and prue on the other hand keeps waiting for the penny to drop she keeps waiting for like. jack to realize he doesn’t have to be here anymore. she’s convinced he’s gonna hop town and continue being the man she knew while she was alive now that he doesn’t have to keep watching over the kids now that he’s free in a way but that just never happens because jack doesn’t want to leave like those are his kids also he’s in love with prue lmao but she just can’t. she doesn’t get it. men leave. that’s what they do. that’s what they’ve literally always done she can’t like. she can’t open herself up to something serious only to have jack just ditch and leave her kids with the memory of his back walking out the door so she lowkey starts to push him away put her walls up which only furthers jack’s belief that this is never gonna happen but sometimes it’s like they’ll accidentally fall asleep on the couch together in the middle of the afternoon with the sunlight on them and they’ll wake up like Horribly Embarrassed like oh my god which they’re like this isnt weird okay like we have kids together they’re right there like. we have had sex multiples times before piper walking in on up taking a cat nap in the living room is literally it’s nothing!! oh but it so is something meanwhile phoebe the empath is about to lose her Fucking Shit like guys!!! guys!!!!!!!!! and piper’s just trying to reign her in like no don’t interfere bc piper knows prue’s fear of abandonment and she does not know this new iteration of jack she just remembers what he was like and she doesn’t want to see prue get hurt paige is on the opposite side bc she has literally never met any previous iteration of jack or prue and she’s like hello?? they’re in love?? and chris is like hi okay but like. the task at hand? and the girls are like no shh like trying to covertly spy on prue/jack/warren/sheridan/wyatt all playing in the solarium prue’s doing the telekinetic mobile thing again and jack’s expression of wonder is the same as his sons like !!!! and chris is like deadass i do not get it okay evil wyatt tho. but blah blah blah slow burn i think prue and jack would get married like s8. their wedding would replace paige and henry’s bc as mentioned before paige and henry having a wedding esp a wedding that early was like. dumb. but yeah. prue x jack brainrot. i’m mentally ill i love them so much.

Misunderstanding // Hybrid!Izuku x reader oneshot //

a/n: there’s slight yandere themes,,,,,, sorry it’s been so long y’all all i can do is fuck around w my ocs and draw,,,, we l o v e depressive episodes,,,,,,

requests: open

“Izuku! Did you steal my blue sweater again?” You sighed as you sat down, discarded pile of washing in front of you. There wasn’t an answer, which you took as a ‘yes’, eyes narrowed as you marched down to his room. 

“You know I’ve been wearing that a lot lately, you can’t just take it without asking.” The door opened to reveal your trembling bunny, green sweater clutched to his chest as he stood by the dresser. 

“Gimme the sweater, ‘Zuku.”

“No.” Izuku shook his head, clutching your sweater even tighter. 

“C’mon, Izuku, Shoto is meant to be dropping off the work soon, I can’t answer the door in something this revealing.” You didn’t know why he was acting so weird, but you’d have to deal with it later. You grabbed onto his arm, ignoring the sounds of protest as you tugged him to the living room. 

“And no hiding in your nest when someone comes over, or when you’ve done something wrong and you know it.” You growled as you deposited him on the couch, hand running through your hair as you took in your bunny. His ears were twitching more than usual, and he had a death grip on your sweater, foot tapping against the floor. A knock at the door had you turning with a sigh, phone chiming at the same time to let you know Shoto was here.

“Y/n? I got the work you wanted?”

“Thank you so much Sho, you’re saving my ass here.” You greeted your friend with a hug, trusting the cat hybrid to hold your weight. You’d been doing it for years, after all. You took the work when you pulled away, making idle conversation and catching up, you’d have to grab a coffee together sometime. Izuku chose this moment to make himself known, sneaking up while you and Shoto were talking, using your distracted state to drape himself over your shoulders. That would have been fine by itself, but your bunny rubbed his cheek over your neck, scenting you loud and clear. Your brain froze, trapped between shock, Izuku never did this in front of people, and embarrassment, because Shoto was here. 

“So uh yeah, I’ll see you around Y/n!” Shoto didn’t stay long after that, green eyes glaring at him until he was out of sight.

“Izuku! What the fuck was that? You can’t just fuckin…  do that! In front of people, without seeing if I’m okay with it!”

“But I always do that, Y/n! It’s never been a problem before!” 

“Not in front of people, Izuku! You can’t just do that!” You dropped onto the couch, sighing as your hands ran through your hair, wow, you’d really been sighing a lot lately. 

“You’ve been acting, I don’t know… just… not like you should? Or like you normally are? I don’t know Izuku.”

It’d been about a week since that, and thankfully your bunny was back to his usual self. He’d needed a few… days… honestly they were the loneliest days of your life, but you’d go through even more for your bun. 

“Hey Zuku, you in for a cuddle session? Maybe a marathon of Harry Potter? Or something? You can pick!” You looked up from your phone at the sound of footsteps, it was an off day for you, and you were bored. Izuku smiled, happily coming over to the couch and taking a seat next to you. The two of you were the same height, but the way he’d curl into you always made him seem smaller. 

“You don’t have any plans for today?” 

“Nah, I need a rest day, and we needed a day together too, ya know?” You shrugged, too preoccupied looking at your phone to see the way Izuku blushed. 

“Yeah, it has been a while.”

You were almost asleep when a knock at the door made you jerk, accidentally disturbing the hybrid that had been cuddled against your front. 

“Huh? Did we order pizza or something?” You rubbed your eyes, nose scrunching as you tried to figure out who it could be. Izuku was still half asleep, arms wrapped around your waist as you tried to sit up. The hybrid let out a whine as you untangled yourself, pressing a kiss to his forehead before you went to answer the door. 

“Shoto? What’re you- are those flowers?” Your eyes widened, confusion setting in.

“Ah, yes. I wanted to ask… if you’d go out with me sometime?” 

“I-ah, Shoto… that’s really sweet and all but… I can’t.” You smiled, glad when he didn’t look too upset.

“Is there someone else?”

“Y-Yeah, there has been for a while now…” 

“It’s Izuku, isn’t it?” Shoto’s words made your face go redder than a tomato, but you couldn’t deny them.

“Yeah, it’s always been him.” You shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck. 

“I hope… we can still be friends?” Shoto frowned, flowers lowered to his side.

“Oh, of course we can Sho! We’ve been friends for years, I wouldn’t let anything change that!” You leant forward to hug him, it was comforting. 

“I’m glad. Good luck with Izuku.” 

“What is up with the world.” You shook your head, finally closing the door and looking back towards the couch. Brows furrowing when Izuku wasn’t there. 

“Zuku? Where’d you go?” You called out, worry growing when there was no answer. Your feet carried you towards the kitchen, and you froze when the back door was open. Izuku wouldn’t go out without you, right? The forest was dangerous, there were all kinds of things that would attack him. Not to mention it was raining. You didn’t think, running out the back door into the rain. It didn’t matter if you weren’t wearing shoes, or that your t-shirt would be soaked within minutes, you had to make sure Izuku was safe. 

It was dark now, you were shivering and hugging yourself as you walked through the woods, calling out for your hybrid despite how raw your throat felt. How could he be so stupid? A flash of emerald green caught your eyes at once, and relief flooded your system as you headed towards the crouched figure. 

“Izuku? Oh thank god, thank god you’re okay baby.” You collapsed next to him, arms wrapping around his shaking figure. 

“Y-Y/n? What’re you doing out here?”

“Looking for you! You stupid fucking bunny. What the fuck were you thinking?” You couldn’t stop your voice breaking, burying your face in his hair to hide your tears. 

��I-I… why?”

“Why? Because I love you, you’re my baby Zuku! W-When I saw you were gone I couldn’t- couldn’t even think! Why would you run way? Weren’t you happy? I can do better, I promise.” 

“N-No, you-you’re amazing, Y/n! B-But when I woke up and Shoto was there I just- I couldn’t deal with you being with anyone else! And I didn’t wanna act bad and upset you so I just-” 

“You’re stupid, you’re so fucking stupid, Izuku. I’m not interested in Shoto, we’re friends that’s it. Why didn’t you talk to me? Do you know how dangerous it is to go running off like this?” You were shaking, hot tears poured from your eyes and you had to wipe away the snot from your nose. Izuku was crying too, clinging to your shirt and apologising over and over again. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, stupid bunny. You’re my everything.” You could barely hear yourself, but Izuku’s ears perked and you knew for certain he’d heard when he pulled away to rub his cheek against yours. A laugh bubbled up from your chest at the action, and then you were grabbing his face between your hands and kissing him like you’d never get the chance to again.

“You’re soaked, baby bunny, we gotta get you into some dry clothes.” You pushed Izuku into the bathroom, grabbing towels and fresh clothes from the laundry. You peeled off his shirt, throwing it in a wet heap, shortly followed by his pants. Izuku was a blushing mess, ears and tail twitching as you draped the biggest towel you had around him. You used the other to gently dry his hair, being careful of his ears.

“Okay, underwear off.” You were too worried about Izuku’s health to consider anything else, brows furrowing when he let out a squeak. 

“You’re covered in a towel that goes past your knees, Izuku. Underwear off, now. Or do you want your dick to get frostbite?” You’d have time to be embarrassed later, right now you needed to make sure he was okay. Stuttering and trembling, muttered words of how embarrassing this was, Izuku let the last item of clothing drop to the floor, and you let out a happy sigh. 

“That’s my good bunny!” You cooed, peppering his face in kisses, “Such a good boy for me!” 

“Here are your clothes, I’ll go make us some tea!” 

“Y-You still haven’t changed.” Izuku frowned as he came into the kitchen, seeing you setting two cups of tea down on the table. Still wearing your wet clothes.

“Oh it’s fine, I’ll change later-” You looked up, eyebrows cocked when Izuku had disappeared.  You walked back towards the living room, confusion building when your bunny ran out of the bathroom, grabbing your hand to drag you back there. Izuku proceeded to strip your outer clothes off, quickly wrapping a towel around you before he moved on to drying your hair. You were speechless, mind going completely bank because what was he doing?

“You al-always take care of me so… I wanted-wanted to take care of you.” Izuku avoided your eyes, face resembling a tomato as he finished drying your hair. 

“I-uh… thank you Izuku!” Your face flushed to match his, grin overtaking your face because this… this was more than you ever could have hoped for. Sweatpants and a hoodie were pushed into your arms, Izuku going bright red as he mumbled something about dinner and left the room. The smile stayed glued to your face as you got changed in record time, all but running out of the bathroom to hug Izuku. 

“Why don’t we get take out for dinner? Your pick!” You chirped as you pulled him close, letting the hybrid scent you as he considered his options. 

“Can we- can we get pizza?”

“Of course bunny!”