Survey #544

this is three days old... oops lmao

What makeup product do you never use? I mean... all of them these days, haha. But one that comes to mind that I've literally never used is bronzer. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Yes, in an aquarium by the beach. Has anyone ever randomly licked your face? A partner mighta just to annoy me, but idr. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else? No. My friend and I did once draw eyebrows onto our old boxer Cali though and shit was fucking peek entertainment. Can you imitate any other accent? I do British very well. Have you ever protested? No. Tbh I think I'd be afraid of things turning violent, and I also physically can't stand for an extended period of time. I'd like to do so peacefully and stand for what I'm passionate about, but. Dunno if it'll actually happen. Have you ever participated in a parade? No. Were you ever chased by an animal? No. Have you ever told an elder to fuck off? No; I've never had a reason to, but don't go thinking I won't if you deserve it. I don't care what age group you're in. Are you single/or taken? Taken. ^ Are you happy with that? Yes, very. He brings an incredible amount of light into my life. Do you feel guilty about anything? I always will. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else? OH MY GOD YES and the guy was SO confused, I'm so sorry my guy. When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” "Bless you" by habit, even though I don't like it. I don't like the religious implication, so this question actually made me realize I'm going to try and start saying "Gesundheit" instead. What are two things you are excited to do in the near future? Fully complete the DP forum. :') Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching? Bro no shame, it was a wonderful movie. Do you ever put condoms in old people’s buggies at the store? I may not know how to be an adult for the most part, but Christ I can at least be mature enough to not do that. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? Mom rents this house. Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? Oh absolutely, very frequently to my own detriment. I NEED my alone time, and honestly a lot of it, but I can also become extremely lonely if I overdo it. Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? It depends. In English it is generally accepted that you write out 1-9 fully and then transfer to using only digits after. Or something like that. What's one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don't participate in any. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouse’s names? Katie is married to Josh, Misty is married to Franky, Bobby's wife is uh... okay I forgot her name, and Ashley is tragically married to Nick. Name one lyric from the song you’re listening to/the last one you listened? It's in German, but the English translation is: "And the fear grows into the night; door and gates are guarded / the back's wet, the hands clammy / everyone is afraid of the Black Man ('Bogeyman' in German)." It's a brilliantly political song about paranoia between a country's own people dividing them all, with the most fuckin rad music video ever. Have you ever owned a turtle? Did it ever bite you when you owned it? As a kid I briefly kept a poor red-eared slider, which even worse, is invasive here. I eventually let it go nearby, but for real, don't take animals from the wild, y'all. I don't remember it trying to bite me. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you dont like? I have zero clue who his friends are now. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? Yeah, it's part of my photography editing bundle. I never used it a whole lot, not even once every day, but I quite enjoy it and got shit to make when I get a new laptop that can handle it, haha. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I don't watch shows period, but thinking of those I've enjoyed in the past, I'm sure she'd be unhappy about Deadman Wonderland. Like she wouldn't stop me from watching it, but she sure wouldn't watch herself. How long have you lived with the person/people you currently live with? Since I was born. Do you see yourself still with your current partner in 10 years? That's easy, honestly. Do you have any Italian ancestry? Not that I know of, no. I don't think we really know Dad's ancestry? I know his last name is Irish, though. What was the dumbest thing you ever did as a teenager? I let some guy be my sole source of happiness and convinced myself there was no way in Heaven or Hell I could live without him. Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? It has to be frigid or else I do nooot like it. I am so immensely picky with water, which I don't really like anyway. Does anyone in your family have green eyes? My eyes are mistaken as a greenish color sometimes, when in fact they're primarily blue, but definitely with tints of gray and green. What was the name of your first ever pet? I was born into the family when my father owned a stunning female collie named Trigger, but I have zero memories of her because she died when I was just a baby. The first pet I remember owning as a family was Chance, a stray cat we took in. Now if we're talking my very first personal pet, it was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow; I can't recall who came first. Have you Googled anything today? What? Ugh yeah, edema relief. Now that I'm in the spare room a lot, with my legs very used to being elevated, it builds up. I'm trying to strike a balance so I can leave the bed without dealing with edema to a dangerous extreme. What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Cereal, usually. Is anyone in your family a nurse? Well, close; my sister Ashley is a mammographer. There may be other family member in the medical field too, but I don't know about it. Do you like to wear lipstick? What colours do you think suit you best? Should I already have black eye liner (and sometimes shadow) on, I think a black lipstick looks great on me, I just don't have a quality one that doesn't immediately get on everything. If I put it on, it's literally JUST to take a picture lmao. Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? My aunt Kelly. Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? Girt and I do that shit daily lmao Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? We always have one. Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? My boyfren. :') Do you think witchcraft is interesting? I do indeed, but nowhere near to the extent of my sister Misty. She sincerely considers herself a witch. What do you think of people who hate vegetarians? "I think they could be so much more productive with their time." <<<< 100% this. If a person feels healthier and/or more morally at peace by not eating meat, okay???? Let them. Holier-than-thou vegetarians/vegans exist, sure, and they're annoying, but the fact still remains that their dietary habits have zero effect on you. What is your favorite Johnny Depp film? I actually really enjoy his performance in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Do you like the color purple? I do, it's pretty, especially when blended with hues of pink. What film are you looking forward to seeing the most? At this moment I'd actually really like to go see The Black Phone. I should talk to Mom about that. Do you like dragons? I fuckin LOVE dragons, GOOD GOOD SHIT. I'm always interested in dragon content, and I like collecting dragon decor and such. Which one of your parents has the worst temper? I don't think I can fairly answer this question. Dad was definitely more volatile when my parents were together, but they split like... almost a decade ago, and I haven't lived with him since. Mom spites the fuck outta him for it, but my dad is infinitely happier and more pleasant without her; since I re-established ties with him a couple years after he left, he was just a brand fucking new person. I mean maybe he still gets angry faster than Mom, but I can't say that with certainty since I just don't see him enough. What’s the last thing you learned? So in my Rammstein obsession lately I've been more intent than before on learning the stories that aren't obvious behind some songs, right? WELL I learned the detailed story behind "Mein Teil" AND,,,,,,,, IT'S A LOT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, When’s the last time you felt obsessed? ^ lmao oh, my passion for these goofs has been out of this world lately What would you spend $1,000 on? Okay so we're gonna say I can't save it for this, in which case I would probably get my big tattoo I want on my left arm, and if I have money to spare, I'd cover Sara's handwriting tattoo with Teddy's tribute one. What’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? Blah, blah, I mention not having a job enough already. it stresses me the fuck out, but I just. Don't know exactly what I want to do to earn my keep, and by now the only thing that feels even mildly realistic for me is to be a housewife. There are some days where I horribly spite that, and others where I don't mind too much. It's like, I want to accomplish big things, but there is a lot in the way that I just do not know if I can get past. Then I'm also a person with a metric shit-ton of love in her, so this side says there's great position in just being a loving, supportive wife that helps keep her spouse motivated and happy. Ugh this answer is getting long dude, I just don't know. Maybe there's like this compromise where I'm a housewife that makes some income with her hobbies, idk dude, I really don't. What kind of covers do you have on your bed? They're a thin, airy pink that works well for hot weather. What song plays in your head the most? Rammstein's "Zick Zack" and its entire music video literally live in my head at all conscious moments completely rent-free. Have you ever received a card signed individually by a large group of people? Uhhh, maybe as a family collaboration for a birthday? Idr. Who do you know that’s pregnant right now? One of Ashley's oldest friends (and a neighbor for a massive chunk of our lives!), finally!! She's an elementary school teacher and just SO sweet, she is going to be a spectacular mother. <3 What did you last use scissors for? To make a starting point to open a bag of pizza rolls. Who have you helped move? Jason, and to a lesser extent, I helped get us into this house... barely. I am just so, so incredibly weak that to be honest I barely did anything and cried about it, but my family supposedly understood. And what age was your first kiss? I was a month into 16, I think. What is the last strain of weed you smoked/consumed however?............. I did not know weed had "strains" lmfao I don't know shit What is the last YouTube channel you watched? Rammstein Official; I watched their "Making of..." video for "Mein Teil." Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yes, many. I only see my immediate sister's three children regularly, though. The others live in different states entirely, as far away as Ohio. Have you ever been to an extremely dirty house before? Whose house was it? OLJAKSLDJFAKLWEJAFLER yes, Colleen's mother's when we were still friends. We went in there and out so fuckin fast. My mother also has a friend who is a hoarder, but I don't know if things have cleaned up since she had to move to a new place. I hope so; she's such a sweet woman that was just too low in sorrow over her mother's passing to take care of the house. Would you ever or do you hunt? I genuinely think I would rather starve and die, but if it was a serious survival situation, I really don't know what I'd do. I think that's one of those situations where you have to be in it to really know. Do you like to play games on your phone? What games do you play most often? I only really ever play Pokemon GO. What is the most recent video you took of? Damn dude, no idea. Maybe Teddy's last birthday when he got his "cake" and Mom and I sang "happy birthday" to him. Has wind ever done any extreme damage to your home or anything that you own? No, not extreme damage. We've had a tree fall onto our roof by a hurricane, and it required a bit of patching up, but it really wasn't bad. Do you enjoy taking photos with your significant other or are you just not that type of couple? If you don't have a significant other, do you enjoy taking photos of yourself more or of your friends and/or family? It's been 12 years of knowing on another... and ONE picture of us exists, and I'm barely in it lmaoooo. Girt just isn't a picture person, and I just feel too ugly all the time to try taking some. If I wasn't so self-conscious, oh, I would absolutely force this man to take some with me, haha.

This may just be a survey page, but... literally fucking unfollow me if you see the overturn of Roe v. Wade as a victory. I want nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you. And in the meantime, pick up a goddamn history book before we simply live it over all over again.

Survey #543

WOW look who it is. Long story short my mom got a new charger for her old fossil of a laptop, and I am very proud of it for working semi-decently?? So here’s a survey after two whole honkin’ months!

Do you think you look good with red hair? Dude I loved having red hair. What is your favorite middle name for a girl? I mean that depends on the first name and to some extent the last. What color was the last scarf you wore? I don't wear them unless I go out in the very rare snow and Mom makes me, lmao. That hasn't happened in so many years that I don't remember the scarf. When was the last time you took a selfie? Wow, it's been a very long time. Months. Do you enjoy getting caught in the rain? I really don't, I don't enjoy feeling wet unless I'm like, swimming. How many of your grandparents are still alive? None. Who is your favorite music artist at the moment? My favorite artist of all time is Ozzy of course, but I'm going through a MASSIVE Rammstein phase right now; they've been a "favorite" for years, but I've been exploring more of their discography and learning about them personally and they are My Dads... except the bassist. I have a new husband. Are you allergic to any foods, and if so, what? No. I do have a violent heartburn response to bananas if I haven't taken my prescription antacid, though. Which insect annoys you the most? Gnats. How many proms have you been to? I went to two: my then-boyfriend's senior as well as my senior. Do you prefer hard rock music or soft rock? Hard, but I enjoy both. Did you ever own a Furby? I did for whatever fuckin reason. Were you a bigger fan of Backstreet Boys or *N Sync? Backstreet Boys, def. I liked both, though. Have you ever had sex on the beach? God no, that sounds horrible, even if it was a private beach. I do noooot like sand. Where does your best friend live? My best friend is my boyfriend, and he lives like 30 minutes from me. Where did you last hang out? I haven't "hung out" anywhere in over a week, when I visited Girt's house for the first time. I wanna go backkkk. Why did you get a MySpace? Probably because my friends were, idr. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Nope, bye. Do you remember the first time you ever went into the ocean? I don't. Have you ever stolen from your parents? No, because I'm not my uncle. (: If you owned a dalmation, what would you name him/her? I do know if it was a female, it would be Perdita from the movie. Idk about male tho. What country music star should be honored in the Hall of Fame? I don't like or listen to country music, idk. Would you eat cat food for $500? Shit, maybe. I'd try because that's a decent amount of money that you can't just scoff at. Have you ever had an ultrasound? Yes, on my liver when I was a teenager. I can't remember why I had to get it, but I know everything was fine. Where do you want to be at a year from now? It'd be nice if I've lost weight and regained some leg strength, as well as be stable on working medications. Less importantly but what would be nice would be if Girt and I are talking about moving in together or already are. Do you like pickles? I fucking LOVE pickles and have been craving them lately. Where do you work? I don't. Unless I build my own business of some sort, I just like... don't see me ever being able to handle a proper job for so many reasons. Idk what I'm doing in the "earn money to live" department, y'all. Have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president? God no. You’re in line at Taco Bell, what’s your order? I pretty much always get the cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes I'll swap the latter out for those little cinnamon bite things. Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal? I think it's a normal size, if not a bit smaller. Are you currently listening to a song? Remember that a Rammstein thing I mentioned lmao well I'm listening to "Sex" right now and just real talk it's going on a certain playlist lmfao LOOK it's a fun song What are you doing tomorrow? I don't really know. I would like to see my boyfriend because he has been SWAMPED with work and other responsibilities and it's been awhile, but I think he has work tomorrow? Maybe? God I can never keep track of his schedule. Can others make you cry easily? It is more than "easy." You barely have to do anything at all lmao. Whose house did you last go to? My older sister's. I helped Mom watch the kids. How has the past week been? It's literally been one of the most hectic but also hopefully emotionally developmental weeks of my life. I enacted a split from my best friend, which was majorly goddamn hard, but for my own good, and I feel I've been learning things about myself and taking steps towards bettering me and my life. When did you first get your period? I don't remember other than it was a normal age. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No, I've actually never wanted to. I don't like lettuce on my burgers. Are you engaged right now? No. Name the last video game you’ve played. Girt and I recently beat the remake of Shadow of the Colossus! I was so proud of him, he beat the final colossus with no hints. :') Do you believe in sex before marriage? For most relationships, I personally think it's smarter to... y'know, find out if you're sexually compatible with someone if that's important to you before deciding to tie the knot. But do what you're comfortable with. Have you ever smoked marijuana? No. If it was legal though, I'd honestly consider it for when my anxiety flares up. I don't want to smoke anything, cigs or weed, but if it was only an occasional thing to calm the fuck down, I'd do weed. Who are you currently living with? My mom and pets. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? This isn't an "I feel like I should" thing, I literally need to. I'm not your go-to visual of an example of this, but I am by definition obese and completely, totally serious, I wish it on fuckin NOBODY. It. Sucks. Actual. Ass. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you good at rapping? I've never tried, but there is zero way. I stutter too much. How often do you go to church? By this point in my life, I would rather get decked in the goddamn face than sit through an actual sermon. Do you feel like you’re judged for your looks? Oh, absolutely. Do taking tests make you nervous? Not really, at least not usually. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? In German, yes. Fun fact, "y" doesn't exist in native German words, and in an instance where the letter is referenced, it is pronounced like "oopsilon" over yonder. What do you want out of life? I just want to be happy and feel like I made a positive difference. Oh, and have fun. Where’s the last fast food place you’ve eaten at? McDonald's. Do you like Wendy’s frosties? They're nothing special, but yeah I like 'em. They always take too long to be drinkable through a straw, though, with how thick they are. How long of a drive are you from California? Dude California is the LITERAL polar opposite of the country lmao, it would take days to drive there. Do you ever get carsick? No. How long can you go without sleeping? Once or possibly twice, I've gone around three days with zero sleep, and I wasn't even tired when I finally said "okay I need sleep" for my health. This occasion along with a few others actually make me wonder if I have bipolar 1 instead of 2, because that right there sounds like mania. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Omg, when I was watching the kids with Mom, Ryder was being REALLY cute with Emerson, hugging and lifting her, and he let me take a picture of them. Emerson even smiled at the camera with her big brother. :') Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? It does, actually; dark and dreary days tend to lend to my depression. Hot weather also just makes me generally miserable if I don't have AC. What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? I live to window shop for ball pythons on Morph Market. *sobs* Are you part of the LGBTQIA+ community? As a pansexual, yes. Are you scared of growing older? Yes, with how immensely weak my body *already* is. Would you ever consider adopting or fostering children? No. People are fan-fucking-tastic for doing it, like so much respect to 'em, but it's not for me. Would you consider yourself to be petty? Not at all, genuinely. Can you roll your tongue? Not well at all, no. Sometimes when I've been alone lately tho I've kinda been practicing in order to speak German more appropriately lmao. I downloaded a German-learning app yesterday actually and have started it, because I regret not having become fully fluent in the language faaaaar too frequently. Even if I never reach my goal of visiting Germany, it'll be a personal victory for me, an accomplishment to remember. You are more likely to stop wearing something because? It gets too tight. Do you speak a second language? bitch i'm GONNA How many books do you have out in the public areas of your house? I don't think any, actually. Do you like fried chicken? I HATE fried chicken. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace. Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) That's the goal. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? Eek, no. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? I guess old friendships. That happens a lot. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? I've lost count of how many times I've been admitted to psych hospitals, but I know it's a number that would make people think i'm actually clinically fucking insane. Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No, just some small bushes. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? *shrug* Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does. How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? I'm rather early in. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? No indoor animals, but growing up, we had a cat infestation outside, and they would sometimes just vanish. Usually the males, but that is completely normal for mature, unfixed toms. Please fix your pets and keep them inside. Do any of your exes know each other? I'll go with everyone who has had the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title. Jason and Juan knew each other and did not get along. Jason and Girt also met at least once when we all hung out at my place, and Sara has met Girt once, again when we hung at my place. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I still haven't decided to this day if the "birds are fake" conspiracy is an actual belief some people have or just a joke. God, I hope it's a joke. What was the very first election you voted in? This previous one. Do you know how to make omelettes? No. Do you feel positive and optimistic about your future? Man idk. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom or groomsmen at the wedding I shot years ago, idk. Have you ever sexted? No, it's not for me. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mama. Who’s the bravest person you know? ^ Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? How about we don't abuse the word "retarded." But I know what you mean and in which case, no. It's really, really weird, it's actually some strange pet peeve of mine when people completely make up random words and actually apply them as if they truly mean something, unless they're defining things set in a fantasy universe that actually need identification. I don't know if that made any sense whatsoever, but it makes me cringe idk. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. What profession do you admire the most? Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firemen. And surgeons. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? Nope. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? Yes, actually, in college. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Mom, Nicole, and I might visit one of Mom's brother's family in New York for like a week, but there are some concerns about me being able to physically handle what we have planned. Like this isn't just in my head, my mother, sister, and uncle have talked about it and it's been decided I'm probably going to have to stay with a nearby aunt while they're out on the river on a boat. Do you walk fast or slow? Slow. Once upon a time I was a fast walker. What would you do if you found a small, lost child? Stay with them and first try to find their parents, and if that's not successful, call the cops. Whose arms do you feel the safest in? My boyfriend's. What was the last meal you ate? Mom made some sausage and eggs this morning, but I couldn't eat much. I just don't have an appetite, but I needed food. Have you memorized your social security number? It's funny, I know it sometimes. I know the last six digits, but for some reason usually not the first part. It comes to me sometimes, though. What’s the last food you ate that was stale?Ugh, a bagel. It was SO dry that I couldn't even finish it. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown? Well, it depends where. It's not a "good" city, but I mean I don't know every little nook and cranny of it. It's a very small town though, so. Describe your laugh: I sound like a fucking hyena. How did you meet the last person you kissed? We were both in the band of our high school. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? No. When was the last time you changed your bed sheets? Very recently, after I recovered from my cold. Mom taught us to always do that after being sick. Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I think it's really good, I just hate how messy it can be. When was the last time someone kissed you on the cheek? Wow I'm not sure. Girt normally goes for the forehead instead of cheek with that kind of kiss, but I mean maybe it was still him? What are two instruments you’d like to learn to play? Violin and either electric guitar or piano. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? Grape. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? No. Would you ever think about getting your nose pierced? I'm getting it re-pierced at some point. Has anyone of the opposite sex ever hit you before? No, let's keep it that way. What’s your favorite gaming system? PS2 had the best games. When was the last time you thought someone was completely pathetic? Hm... I can't say I'm sure. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? The lobes, I don't remember. My tragus was pierced as a teen, but the hole closed when I had to take the ring out at the psych hospital; I honestly can't recall how l ong ago I got it redone. it's been a while. Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? No, good luck seeing me tolerate that. Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Oh god yes. What is the meanest thing someone called you? A martyr, and not in the "I'd die for my beliefs" way. I've never forgotten it, probably never will. It came from Jason's friend who barely fucking knew me. Have you ever been paid to build something for someone? No. Are you a decent singer? No, I can't hold a note. Would you rather wear hoodies or jackets? Hoodies, for sure. When was the last time you were asked on a date? I have zero fuckin clue lmao. I don't think Girt and I have been on a "real" date yet, surprisingly. It doesn't really bother me though, chilling at each other's houses is more comfortable and I always feel absolutely horrendous if he pays for ANYTHING for me. Who is the one person you trust the most? My mom or Girt, I don't know who to pick. I'm full aware Mom has lied to me in the past, meanwhile Girt has always been immensely truthful. I dunno, one of 'em. Who is your favorite comedian? I don't think I have one, really. Do you own any exercise machines? No, but Mom seems very intent on getting a nice treadmill once the inheritance is finally fucking sorted. She and I both know my legs are going, and it feels like that's my last hope. Where was the last place you went? A clinic that offers walk-in service because I have a sinus infection from the greatest depths of Hell. Was prescribed some stuff to start taking tonight.

I awaken from my two-month slumber to say gay rights

Hey, guys! I just wanted to make a quick little update post. My old laptop is totally toast, and there's just zero point in getting it fixed when a brand new one is in my future, whenever this inheritance bullshit is figured out. So, that's why there have been no surveys here; though my interest in them has been at a low tide recently anyway, I'm sure I'll get back into the habit. Not dead, ha ha.

Survey #542

“my beating heart belongs to you  /  i walked for miles ‘til i found you”

Do you live with your biological mother? I do. Have you ever tried peanut butter and bananas together? Yes, actually. A decent sandwich, but I have it very rarely. What kind of music do you tend to like? My taste consists mostly of all things on the heavier side, particularly metal, but I also do enjoy various forms of rock and indie, alternative, too. One of my more surprising musical interests is also techno, especially when mixed with rock or metal.. Do you enjoy listening to Eminem? Eminem is the only rapper whose music I can say I kinda steadily enjoy, at least when I hear him. What color are the sheets on your bed? They're a light blue-ish, almost purple-y color. My new blanket is also a baby pink, so it's got some pretty lil spring/Easter vibes. Are you a member on Bzoink? No. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Yeah, go for it. If you wanna wait? Go for that, too. It's personal choice. I myself feel like sex before marriage could be beneficial, particularly for people who enjoy expressing their sexuality and have certain expectations. More sexual individuals I'm sure wouldn't want to wait, get married, and then learn you're not sexually compatible. I'm personally not waiting anymore, but not for that reason. When was the last time you went on a shopping trip with just your mom? It's been a VEEEEEEEEERY long time. Possibly even before the pandemic. We've been doing just the pick-up orders. Mom does not need to go into a grocery/general store of all places being immunocompromised. Do you agree that Wal-Mart is the best? Ha, what I was talking about just above. I really don't have an opinion here; it's not like I've trialed all the biggest supermarkets. My family just personally uses it. Do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart? I actually know many people like that. Orange or apple juice? I like both, but I generally prefer orange. Have you ever seen anyone die? Animals, yes... ugh. It's so, so hard to watch. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? Not that I can think of. I have a couple famous ancestors, but. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? Meerkats are #1. I will read ANY article about them featuring new studies and all. I'm also super into learning about tarantulas, preparing for the day I can finally have some. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? No. I couldn't take one seriously, nor could I give one in a non-excruciatingly awkward manner. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? "Creep," no. I am not going anywhere that would be considered trespassing without permission. I fucking LOVE urban exploration though, so fuck yeah I would, but I think only if I had at least two other people with me. I would at least want a small group because yeah, scary people. And I'd want mace on me. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? A motherfuckin' rock star. Eeeeaaaaasy answer. I would rather do almost anything other than being a political leader. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? Yep, done that a number of times. I enjoy writing those when I really, really love someone. Have you ever sent someone a surprise through the mail? No. Well, I mean, on the few occasions I sent Jason letters throughout my recovery process (might sound creepy, whatever, my therapists recommended it if it served as a release), there'd be an envelope from me in the box. I guess that could qualify as a "Surprise." Of all animated movies, which is the best one you’ve ever seen? The Lion King. It's just a good fucking movie with such important lessons: life goes on. Face your past. And my favorite, that we all return to the earth and, reference unintended, are "one" with essentially everything. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? I can't really listen to music when I drive, in my experience. I do, however, plan to make a driving playlist when I start practicing again, selecting only comfort songs with no lyrics, particularly from game soundtracks. Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus especially. I could absolutely see it helping me stay calmer. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? I dunno, man. There are a shitload of marvelous, world-altering achievements. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle? LKJASLKJALKWEJRKLWQER bitch that place scares me lmaooo. I honestly can't confidently say I don't. There are just a frightful amount of pretty strange cases... I'm personally too scared to go through it, alskjfalkejrlwkae. What is the happiest way you can start your day? Cheesy answer I'm sure, but waking up to Girt being beside me. There's been one occasion where he's spent the night without having work the next day (he has to leave early at like, 6:00), and that morning was fucking perfect. I want more of that. What changes are you afraid of? More than anything, moving out. It's like... I want to, but at the same time, it's extremely scary to me. I just fear independence in general. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? No. What is your biggest goal for this year? I want to grow in my self-worth and work on my internal motivation instead of finding it in others. Where do you want to be in 5 years? In my own place, married, financially stable, happy, content. Hopefully in much better health. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? How to be more socially adequate, draw hyperrealistically, and how to be more productive. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? What people say. That tends to stick with me forever. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? COMMUNIFUCKINGCATION. As well as honesty and trust, and obviously having a mutual interest in the other's wellbeing and just who they are as a person. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? Photograph and pet meerkats at the KMP (particularly the Whiskers), meet Markiplier, and spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? Amounting to nothing and just not living life to the fullest, not experiencing a healthy, life-long love, and always remaining at the weight and general physical health I am now. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? My friend, you can't ask this to a massive classic rock/metal fan. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? Idk. To be honest, I don't remember a lot of prominent personality points of older/"big" villains. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? Fly. Boats take longer, and I'd be more wary of them, honestly. Like there's always that subdued fear of a plane crash, but they're just so immensely rare that I don't really freak out about it. Plus, the view! Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? Outer space. It's just an absolute, unspeakable marvel. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Steve Irwin. God, if we could just talk for a while... What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Markiplier, duh. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature and its wildlife. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? No, they're bullshit. I'm not wasting money on that. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? *shrug* Ask the people I interact with. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? I personally think there should be a holiday on the anniversary of the legalization of gay marriage that celebrates and educates on the LGBTQ+ community. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? I'm not a fan of Columbus Day. That man didn't discover shit. He found an already-inhabited land to conquer. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? Probably Disney World. I don't remember too much of it, though. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? Hm... I can't say I'm sure. I'm sure there's something, just nothing's coming to me rn. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? North Pole, holy shit. I ain't dealing with that heat.. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? POKEMON!!!!! Name one thing that turns your stomach: Vomit, especially the sound of someone puking. Get anything good in the mail recently? My book came in!! What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I dunno. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? It would be soda, 100%, specifically Mtn. Dew. I struggle with a yearning for soda way more than a specific food. What are your parents interested in? Mom LOVES medical stuff, especially surgeries. She's aaaaall about cool things about the body. She also fucking loves helicopters and actually wanted to be a pilot of them, but her very old-fashioned mother told her no (she had to have a "feminine" job...). She's also a massive motorcycle fan; it's one of her life goals to own a Harley one day, ha ha. She also enjoys the same music as me and is obseeeeessed with Metallica. Lastly, and one of her biggest passions, is children. They light up her whole world and wants to do EVERYTHING she can to help them. As for my dad, the first thing that comes to mind is sports, especially hockey and football. His "man cave" is full of Carolina Hurricanes and Cleveland Browns stuff, ha ha. He loves to go fishing, too. He's a big into (mostly classic) rock music as well. I'm tellin' ya, it's in my blood, ha ha. I embarrassingly can't think of much more... but I mean, granted, I don't see him very much and he has absolutely developed as a person since my parents divorced. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? Hm... I'll have to think on that. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? A tent, water, and a flashlight. Did The Blair Witch Project scare you? Nah; horror movies don't really make my spine shiver. It's one of my favorite scary movies, though! I really enjoy ones that are "found footage" type. Are you a fan of any comic books? Nah, never been into 'em. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? Listening to Mark, life experiences and paying attention to how they make myself and others feel, animals, music, books, (mostly children's) movies... When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? I'm pretty sure it was always "mommy's tummy," but I was never given details on how they got out, ha ha. What’s the best kind of movie to see on a date? Hm, I'd say a comedy, perhaps a romantic one. Get some laughs in and remember that love is beautiful. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? Threat. Always. People scare me. What do you really want to buy? To give an answer that isn't my usual, laser hair removal aslkjalwkejr. Being in an intimate relationship, I'm really self-conscious about my legs, but thank god my partner understands why it's incredibly difficult for me to shave and says he doesn't care. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves "one nation under god?" I do, actually. I don't like it. Like I get it's a traditional, long-lasting pledge, but dude, tweaking something to be more conscious and accepting of diversity is never a bad thing. In what sense are you a minority? I'm mentally ill, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and a woman. Do you have a condom in your room? Not currently, but we're planning to get a box for here just so we're prepared to be safe regardless of whose house we're at. Can you pick things up with your toes? Yes. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Wal-Mart. Who were you last in a car with? Mom. I saw my new psychiatrist yesterday. Are you in a good mood right now? I am, thankfully. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? I've become pretty devoted to the idea of just being a housewife with a photography hobby. Like keep an Etsy shop or something. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My uncle and his immediate family. Fuck all of them. Arrogant, greedy, slimy pieces of shit. Do you like watching scary movies? I looove scary movies. Do you know how to fish? Well, the method of fishing changes depending on the type of fish you're after. Sometimes the lure sits, something you slowly keep reeling it, sometimes jerk the lure along, etc. I grew up fishing, so I'm pretty good at it. However, I do SUCK at fly fishing. I could never get the hang of it. Have you ever been given a rose? Yes. Would you care if you saw the person you like, kissing someone else? Uh, YEAH? We're in a serious relationship. I could never, ever imagine him doing that though, thankfully. Do you eat live fish? What the fuck, no. I don't eat fish to begin with, but a LIVE one? That's just barbaric. Like know some fucking mercy. Tell me five random facts about your sibling(s). (Or your best friend, if you’re an only child.) 1.) Katie is a wonderful cake decorator; 2.) the staff at Nicole's favorite Mexican restaurant all know her and she knows them by name lmaooo; 3.) Ashley is legally blind in one eye; 4.) Katie is my mom's eldest daughter and I'm the second-youngest and yet we are incredibly similar; and 5.) Bobby is pretty much a wizard with computers. Would you get engaged right now? I know realistically if Girt asked, I'd say yes. Maybe stupid, but we've stuck by each other's side for so, so, so long already and I think our relationship is just in a really, really good place right now. Now, I would prefer him not to this early, though. On the subject of your wedding, will it be a big affair? No. I definitely don't plan on inviting a lot of people.

Survey #541

“i just wanna be the one who got up & came back strong”

How long was your longest make-out? I... don't keep a timer???? This isn't something I pay attention t o. Have you ever sucked in helium and talked funny? It's possible I've done it once, but I don't remember with certainty. Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? I'm 26. No. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on? Ye, he mad handsome. Honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you? He is not going to leave work and drive 30 minutes just for that. I'd judge him if he did, ha. According to your ex, you are: There's a very, very good chance he'd describe me as "the psycho ex." In some ways, I wouldn't blame him. Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket? No. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What’s their name? It's not his real name, but I've known him as "Girt" since we met. When you first met, did you think it would end up the way it is? No, I didn't. I did develop a crush on him, but he was a senior and I was a freshman, so I know there wasn't a whole lot of time to get to know him. Regardless, we definitely developed a friendship. Later found out he wanted to ask me out, but he didn't want to be "the weird senior dating a freshman." He even told me it's one of his biggest regrets that he didn't laksjfl;akwjeo;iwrjeir. But anyway, I was very nervous that after he graduated, we'd never see each other again. But here we are, ha ha. Is he what you "normally go for?" He is. We share similar interests and he's a very good person. Does he ever take you shopping or spoil you rotten? Ew, I hate the wording of this question somehow. I'd never, ever ask him to take me shopping or spoil me monetarily. I just want a reasonable amount of time from him. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? Yeah, it runs heavily in my family. Have you ever had to block anyone online? Yep. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: A limited edition Japanese flyer for Silent Hill: Revelation, a beautiful, flowery moon wreath my sister made, and a ball python. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing, ha ha. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? No, that's a garbage thing to do. I only flirt with my boyfriend, but not like with every sentence that comes out of my mouth. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Furniture aside, my giant Pyramid Head poster. What’s something that you think is really cute? Velvet worms alskjfalkwejklqr What’s a pretty bird? Shit man, birds are just beautiful. One of my favorite "basic" ones though are blue jays. Have you ever hacked into somebody’s account? UHHHHHHHHHHHH I did this with Jason once, not very proud of it. Word of advice: just don't. What’s something good that’s on your mind right now? I'm just feeling like my life has direction again. Halloween costume idea for this year? I REEEEALLY want to dress up as a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale one year. It's an easy costume, and I'd want to splatter fake blood over the abdominal area. Do you want to go to pregnancy classes? If it's ever a choice relevant to my life, I wouldn't. My mom knows fucking EVERYTHING about this shit, ha ha. I'd be way more comfortable asking her about everything. Do you ever cringe at the thought of living in a disgusting house? I have no words for how deeply I actually fear this, being depressed and so dependent. Yet at the same time I want to be a housewife, so it's like???? bitch pick one. I just don't want things to build up and spiral out of control... all that stuff. How often do you let cleavage show? Well I'm almost always in tank tops in my own home, plus a bitch got some HONKERS, so I mean, it's kinda common ig? When I'm in public I pay attention to just how low it goes, 'cuz I'm more conservative in how I dress. Does anyone call you babe or baby? Girt. The latter is more rare, and on one instance where I was crying he hugged me tight and called me "baby girl" which I thought I would FUCKING HATE but I actually like, loved it??? It was very affectionate and just brimming with genuine love, the way he said it. It's strange, there's so many tiny things that used to irk me relationship-wise but now it's like, I just don't care. Intent is everything. Last night, you felt? I was pretty happy, actually! I had a lot of fun chatting with Sara for quite a while, and of course Girt and I talked a lot, too. He even shared something he was really nervous about telling me, and it felt great to know how much he trusts me. What are you looking forward to? Nicole's birthday this weekend! We're going out to eat at her favorite Mexican place. They're cheesy shrimp quesadillas are BOMB. It'll also just be nice to see her and catch up, and Ashley and the kids should be coming to the house for dessert, too. We don't know why, we really don't, but they NEVER come to our place. Do you own any shirts that cost over 100$? Hell the fuck no. How far away from your town/city is your state’s capital city? Around an hour. Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? Yup... What are your three top favourite flavours of ice cream? Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, Moose Tracks, and ig plain vanilla because I love it with chocolate syrup. I've also really been craving mint chocolate chip ice cream lately, even though it's never been a strong pick for me. Do you know what your neighbours even look like? Nope. How many siblings does your best friend have? She has two brothers. Girt has one sister. Do you put ketchup on your fries? Sometimes on the side. Have your parents ever worked in the agriculture business etc. on a farm? No. Loosely related though, my lil sis has been talking with a person of interest who is a farmer. He just lives two hours or so away, but they really seem to dig each other! I hope Nicole gets to see him more and they can maybe make something happen. Nicole gets sad sometimes that she jusjt hasn't found "the one" yet, and she's MIGHTY picky. From the little I've heard of the guy though, he sounds like a good one. Where was your mom born? New York. What is your significant other’s middle name? Y'know, I actually don't know if he has one. I should ask. What’s one thing you think about regularly? The future, oh boy. What kind of exotic animal would you like to have as a pet? I would LOVE a dragon snake, but they do absolutely horrible in captivity, so I wouldn't put one through that. Who is your favorite athlete? Literally don't care. Who has helped you out the most in the past 6 months? Emotionally, absolutely Girt. He's brought me so much happiness. Are you happy with your love life right now? Yeah! Do you want to have more friends than you have right now? Sigh, yeah. I wish I had other gals to hang out with here. Do have false finger nails? No, that would drive me fucking insane. Are you on speaking terms with your parents? Yep. Are your parents religious? Yes. Mom's much more expressive of it, though; I mean I don't see my dad much, but for as long as I've known him, he doesn't talk about it very much at all. His wife though is VERY religious and there's absolutely no way she would marry someone who wasn't, so, y'know. Do you want a church wedding? Absolutely not. What do you typically have for breakfast? It's been cereal, lately. Favourite foreign food? Pizza, ig. Can you name all 50 states of America? Nope. Do you want a boy or girl if you have a kid? If that's something I ever want, I'd REALLY prefer a girl. Goriest movie you’ve ever seen? I'm sure it was a SAW film. Ever seen a pregnant woman smoking/drinking? Ugh, yes. I just don't understand how you can stomach doing that if you want the baby. Do you hate when people talk to you about their relationships? No, unless that is literally ALL they talk about with me. Let people be happy and in love. Random embarrassing fact about yourself? Hm. I don't know something truly embarrassing that I'm willing to share. Do you wear makeup? I never do anymore. For me personally, it feels like a waste of time. It's not my obligation to look "pretty" for anyone. Do you like cats? All cats are my Children. What’s your favorite GameBoy game, if you have one? Oh man, I don't remember. We had quite a lot. Are most of your friends Christian? No. Have you ever been so lonely, you cried? Many times. Do you try to stand out, or be like everyone else? I don't *try* to do either. I just act like myself. Are you the type to read a book at a time, or a few? Absolutely one at a time. Do you believe, deep down, that we are all the same? At the very core, of course. All of us are human, no arguments. We're (in most cases) given the same basic bodily structure and features, the same planet to experience... Now yes, our lives themselves are all different, but in essence, I see us as equal. We're all capable of the same emotions, goals, beliefs, etc., you get me? Do you like reading just the first book in the series, or all of it? It depends on how much I like the first book. What are you listening to at the moment? Super Best Friends Play's Bloodborne playthrough. I started it a while back but got distracted with other games, so it's been some time. Happy to be back into it. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. I can't even remember why. Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? He's at work right now but will be stopping by my place afterwards because he knows I'm really scared over this tornado warning. I didn't even bring him driving all the way here up, but he offered and seems totally willing. He's the actual sweetest. Who or what do you feel the deepest responsibility towards? Girt, as a partner. I don't feel "responsible" for him like a parent would a kid, obviously, but I deeply feel I owe it to him to be a good, functional, not-a-waste-of-time girlfriend. I want him to feel that I'm worth it and am someone he can be proud of. I also feel an extremely deep responsibility over my snake Venus, because I'm the only one who knows and is unafraid enough to take care of her. Mom could handle Roman if god forbid I was gone, but Venus completely relies on me. Who would you be afraid to have angry at you? GIRT. He naturally has a loud voice, and even with just very mild rage playing SotC with him, I really, really don't want to hear him seriously raise his voice to a yell. Ever. It scares me when men in general yell, but to hear your boyfriend do it and for it to be targeted at you... that's terrifying. Though thankfully it's really, really difficult to imagine him yelling at me. He's just always in all ways been really gentle with me. Have you ever eaten any kind of food off of someone else’s body? No. o_o York Peppermint Patti or Reece’s Peanut butter Cups? That shit's easy: Reese's. I do love York's, though. I'm telling you, I've really been thinking of mint chocolate lately, ha ha. What store would you most like a $10,000 (about 5900 British pounds) gift certificate to? BIIIIIIITCH give me that for Rebel's Market so I can live out my goth fantasy. What band T-shirts do you own? A lot, I don't feel like mentally going through the list. Have you ever taken a lock of someone else’s hair? No, that... is incredibly creepy. Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair? No, still creepy. If you had a locket what would you put inside? A picture of Teddy. <3 Is blood a turn on for you? Er, no. Like personally it's a part of the aesthetic I enjoy, but I'm definitely not aroused by it. Have you ever written anything in your own blood? No. Have you ever drank or licked someone else’s blood? Jesus, this survey took a turn. No. Not interested. Could you possibly fall in love with a prostitute? I personally couldn't. I'm not willing to share my partner in that sense. Do you bury your pets, flush them, or throw them away? Bury or cremate. Please, please do not flush any pets. And throwing a dead pet away is just... despicable. Horribly disrespectful. Their life was not trash. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, I'm sure.

Survey #540

(from real late last night/early morning)

If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? Noooope. I want nothing to do with my HS ever again. Would you say that you’re happy with how your life is going? I am. I'm finding hope again. What has upset you most in the past week? I recently found out my niece, only 14, has been hospitalized for being suicidal. I broke the fuck down. That beautiful girl should never have to experience this, never mind at SUCH a young age. Are you waiting for a text from someone? No. I text like... nobody anymore. I talk to my boyfriend and friends via Discord now. Last person you checked out? Girt. Have you ever read any self-help books? I haven't. Do you thank the bus driver? I haven't been on a bus in yeeeeeaaaaaars, but back when I sometimes took one home with Jason, I always did. Get the fuck on it with your ungrateful ass if you don't. Do you wear makeup much? I never do anymore, honestly. What is your favorite month? October. The vibeeeee <3 Do you know anyone who is/was a drug addict? I do. You’re having a baby boy; what’s his name? Damien Victor, probs. You’re having a baby girl; what’s her name? Alessandra Rose. What flavor Dum-Dum is your favorite? The strawberry one. When was the last time you broke down and cried? A few days back, when I learned about my niece's situation. Have you seen your best friend cry before? I've seen Sara cry and it's awful. I've never seen Girt cry, though. Name your life goal. I just want to be a good person that spreads deep love to all and has a strong voice speaking for peace and love and care for animals and the earth we're lucky enough to be a part of. I want to be someone people can trust to always offer them support and be a source of comfort. I just want to be that old wise lady that people come to for an ear and hug, lols. What color do you want to dye your hair? I want a gentle lilac. Are you any good at cooking? No, but it's time to learn! I mean, in my defense, I can make a GREAT cheesy scrambled egg with a touch of hot sauce, but... that's it, lmao. Do you like the smell of gasoline? I absolutely LOATHE it. It gives me a serious headache very quickly. What are you currently listening to? I'm very happily watching/listening to Game Grumps play Elden Ring! I haven't watched them in quite a while and maaaan, I missed my hilarious boys. Such goobers. What’s something that you wish your pet could do? All I can think of is how I wish Roman wasn't as jumpy and horribly shy with strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes in? He is bolting for my room to hide under the bed, and he may not come out the entire time someone whose voice he doesn't recognize is present. It takes very, very long, over multiple visits, for him to warm up to somebody. It'd just be nice if more people could see how lovely my boy is, ha ha. Can you tango? Nope. Have you ever read somebody else’s diary? No, that's awful. Are your parents going to buy you a car? I mean from a completely realistic perspective, my father probably will, whenever I can actually drive. My poor mother can't even afford to get herself a new car, which we desperately need. Have you ever ridden around in the bed of a pick up truck? AT least once when I was younger, yes. Do/did you have any family in your school? Yeah, my little sister and me. We were just obviously in different grades. Are you sure of your sexuality? Honestly, no, but I don't really care. My sexuality just isn't a big deal to me. I'm not sexually experienced enough with people who have vaginas to positively know. Like in concept, I feel I could be attracted to literally anyone, just after being in love with two men and not feeling that particular romantic closeness and arousal, I can't without any doubts call myself pansexual. But seriously, not a biggie to me. Do you love your parents? I do. My dad's been kinda... under my skin lately for many reasons, but I still love him, and I know he loves me. Are you pretending to be someone that you’re not? Nah. I'm honestly getting more comfortable about this with time. I'm not going to please everyone, and not everyone is going to please me, so whatever. I'm absolutely still very self-conscious, but I do feel improvement. Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone? Yes. Never, ever again. Do you try to eat healthy or do you just eat whatever you like whenever you like? I've been careful for a long time, but it's like, nothing I do works. I've recently grabbed onto a second wind of motivation, though, and I'm trying to be even more careful. Something has to fucking change. Where would you like to propose/be proposed to? I really don't care very much at all so long as it's genuine and personal and not for a huge show. But if we're asking about like, the perfect spot for me personally, probably somewhere in nature. What’s your next piercing going to be? Probs my right nostril, or an industrial piercing in my left ear. Would you feel hurt if your last ex is in a relationship? Nope. She is wonderful and completely deserving of love. Do you normally fall asleep fast or slow? Excruciatingly slow. It's awful. My brain just doesn't know how to stop. Do you have a hint of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? I'm diagnosed with it. Mine doesn't really manifest in ritualistic behavior as it's most depicted, though; I instead experience SEVERE rumination thought cycles. I have debated with myself for literally days on more than one occasion. My medicine does help, though. I was off it in the hospital though, sooooo... the behavior re-emerged, sadly. I've been fighting it. I'm back on the medicine, but y'know, the body takes time for shit to settle in. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah. I did have a band teacher though that everyone thought was pretty hot, but I definitely didn't have actually romantic feelings towards the dude. Some years ago he was actually caught having ~relations~ with a student, so. Oof. Any beauty tips? hunny you askin' the wrong person lmaooo Are thongs sexy? They can be, sure. I personally don't/wouldn't wear one, though. Tried one when I was actually fit in HS and I hated how it felt. Which of your exes is the best looking? To be fair, I don't know how most of them look nowadays. Have you ever seen somebody get arrested? No. What kinds of things are going wrong in your life right now? I don't want to focus on the bad right now. What kinds of things are going right in your life right now? For once in my goddamn life, I feel rather confident and comfortable in what I want for my future. I'm in a fucking phenomenal relationship. I'm more invested than ever in bettering myself on both a physical and emotional level. I'm slowly gaining some degree of self-worth. What was the last thing that made you feel sick to think about? Stuff related to my niece. Have you/do you ever avoid taking certain surveys because of the way the survey maker formatted the survey? lol yep Could you handle babysitting two small children at once, such as two children under three years old? NO. I would lose my FUCKING mind. Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? Yeah, it's np. I really just don't have an opinion on facial hair. Have you ever spelled your name in Alphabet Soup? That sounds tedious... Have you written a letter to a soldier? No. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Did you feel embarrassed about it? Girt, but I wasn't embarrassed. I was crying over my niece, which I feel was entirely to be expected. It was the first time I ever cried in his presence, though. He was the absolute sweetest about it, bless him. Does the person you love/like have any pets? He has a pit/shepherd mix named Charlie. <3 I am literally dying to meet him, he's fucking precious. Are you avoiding someone? Nah. What’s your favorite shape? Circles. I like how perfect they are; it's just pleasing to look at. What do you struggle with? When I really think about it, lately, I think one of my largest banes with my lack of self-confidence. I constantly doubt what I'm capable of. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? It will probably be black. What’s your favorite melon? I actually don't enjoy melons. When sitting on the floor, in what position do you normally sit? Kinda like, resting on one hip and supporting myself with an arm. I think that's most common. I barely ever, ever get on the floor because it's very uncomfortable for me and, with my legs, innnncredibly hard to get up. Even Ash's kids know Aunt Britt can't play on the floor with them. Any sexual stuff happen in the past two months? Yeah. What are you doing tomorrow? Later today/in the morning I'll be going with my mom to babysit Ash's kids. What would you do if your parents walked in on you having sex? I do not want to fucking IMAGINE that happening with my dad. I have zero idea how he'd react. He wouldn't be upset or anything, like I'm 26, but still. I'd still be mortified if it happened with Mom, but less than my father. Mom is already aware we're at "that point" in our relationship and has casually given me the "be smart" talk (which trust me, I didn't need, but appreciated), also reassuring me she wouldn't be upset in the least because again, I'm a full-fledged adult who can make her own decisions. But to actually answer the question, I know I'd be very annoyed that they didn't knock. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I know he would if he was actually present. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My legs, but I HATE my stomach too. Mars or Snickers? I don't like Snickers, and I've never tried Mars chocolate before. Who was the last person to IM you? Girt. He and his buds made a pretty big accomplishment in a game he loves and was really really excited about it. He's precious. When’s the last time you wore a wig? ... Have I ever worn a wig? How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were tenders. Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone? We don't even have a home phone anymore. What is getting you mad at the moment? I'm not necessarily mad atm, but I'm definitely annoyed with how fucked up my sleep schedule is, and also the fact that my nightmares make what sleep I do get shitty. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not horribly so, and it also depends on who I'm with. What’s something you really want right now, be honest? I wish Girt could come with Mom and me tomorrow/later to watch the kids, particularly because Ash and Nick are surprising them with a new puppy!!! :') Girt is a MASSIVE dog person, so I know he'd be mega excited to meet it. I also just like the idea of him getting closer with my family (he and Ash were actually in the same graduating class, and they were acquaintances before we met), because I want him to be a part of it. But anyway, he can't because he has to work.

Survey #539

“i don’t want to set the world on fire, i just want to start a flame in your heart” ♥

Which member of Metallica is your favorite? (Current or past) What incredible timing, that's who I'm listening to now, ha ha. I have ALWAYS been a James Hetfield bitch. Grateful Dead: awesome or dumb? From what I've heard, I don't enjoy them. Any forums you enjoy? Only KM. Tweet much? Never. I only ever reblog certain giveaways if I actually know about them elsewhere. Got any overdue library books at the moment? I haven't gotten a book from a library in actual eons. Did you read Goosebumps as a kid? I read like, one. I was never that into 'em. Are you psyched for WoW: Cataclysm? Holy FUCK, ,this survey is ancient. Extreeeemely unpopular opinion, but Cata was my favorite expansion. All the dragons probably make me biased, ha ha. What’s the best Zelda game to start with? I want to play one. You asked the wrong person; I'm not into the series. I know, crucify me. Final Fantasy games or Kingdom Hearts games? Or both? Or neither? Oh, ZERO competition. FF wins by a landslide. I actually don't enjoy KH. If you had a Death Note, would you use it? For truly villainous people who are a risk to society, yes. Have you ever cosplayed? If so, who? Nah, but I'd honestly love to if I was actually pretty and could afford the attire. Is “emo” necessarily a negative thing? No. I resonated with the aesthetic and the deep connection to emotions back in high school and beyond. Hell, I probably still fit it now, I just don't care to even consider labels. Do you prefer to be called a nerd or a geek? Or neither? Or you don’t care? Geek, bby. Rhett & Links "Epic Rap Battle" of nerds vs. geeks is the best, btw. Do you have to pay rent/bills? Not without an income, no. Do you usually pay for stuff with cash, check or card? Cash. I don't have any sort of card, nor do I keep a checkbook. Don’t ATM fees piss you off? They're dumb as hell. Is riding horses something we shouldn’t do anymore? I'm really not informed enough on this. Like, does it hurt their back? And I can't exactly justify kicking them to prompt them to speed up... so really, idk. I'd have to learn more. Do you know anyone who never learned to ride a bike? Possibly? Have you ever been in a helicopter? No. What do you think about giant pandas? They're precious, and the cruel fucks who say we should let them fall into extinction absolutely, positively disgust me. Do you want a cat or a dog more? A cat. I don't ever want another dog, I think. I don't even want another cat now, but I'm certainly more connected to them than dogs. Are you afraid of bugs? It really depends on the bug. Ever seen a kinkajou in real life? I haven't, but they're SUPER cute. Do you know anybody with dentures? Who? I'm not sure, actually. If they do, I don't know about it. Do you have any idea how to build an igloo? No. Trust me, I tried a lot as a kid, ha ha. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Yes. That's the only magazine I wouldn't mind reading if I had nothing else to do. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? The beach, I guess. People tend to prefer South Carolina's, though. Could you (willingly) go ten days without touching a computer? Holy SHIT no. I am way, WAY too reliant on it for that. I'd be like, unspeakably depressed, confused senseless on what to do. Are you someone who puts a decent amount of emojis in their texts? No, too many are annoying. Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? No. What was the last music you listened to? I'm listening to something different from the Metallica question; now it's "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White. When was the last time you had a sore throat? The day I came out of the hospital. When I'm excited, I tend to talk notably louder, and I also just had A LOT to share with Mom, so after yammering on and on for over an hour for sure, my throat felt scratchy. Do you know anyone whose gender is non-binary? I do, more than one. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? Well, they'd all have slightly different reactions, but I'll answer this for THE ex, in which case, I'd honestly deck him in the face and possibly say something very brief before storming away.. I'm just over him and all the hurt he caused and honestly never want to see him again. To imagine him just coming up and kissing is makes me livid. What are your parents views on your relationships? They both love Girt and always have. I can't imagine them having any negative thoughts. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? Well, I hope we'd be married by then already. Is your best friend dating anyone? Sara, no. Girt, me! :') Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? I think you can correctly glean the answer from just scanning the surveys I've done lately lollll. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? I refused to for a very, very long time, but I finally did so a while ago. Well, Jason's anyway. I still have mine and Sara's, but I mean, there's no bitterness between us at all, we're best friends, so I just don't really see why I'd need to. Ever called someone a slut? Only friends, playfully. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'M SURE. I'm just too afraid of The Cringe to go far enough back, lmaoooo Would you ever wear flare jeans? No, those are hideous. Do you text in class? I never did when I was in school. My fear of getting in trouble goes way back, ha ha. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? Yeah. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? "You're going nowhere." How kinky are you? Uh, I'm learning I'm probably not totally vanilla, but I wouldn't say I'm extremely kinky either. Can you change oil in a car? Nope, I know nothing relating to cars. Do you wear a bath robe? No. I'm too self-conscious about my legs, anyway. I just dry off and put my clothes on. Black olives or green olives? I haaate olives, but black are still preferable. Are rollercoasters scary or thrilling to you? I'm terrified of rollercoasters. Never touched one, and I HIGHLY doubt I ever will. Can you do a cart wheel? Absolutely not now, but I couldn't even do 'em as a kid. I was so, so scared of breaking my neck. Do you ever find things annoying if too many people like it? Ha ha, I occasionally did as a edgy 'lil teenager. Now I couldn't care less, like just let people enjoy what they fancy. Which do you like better: cacti, palm trees, or maple trees? Cacti. What type of tree do you see most of where you live? Pine trees, for sure. Have you ever seen fireflies? Ahhhhh, yes. <3 My sisters and I loved catching them as little kids, and I enjoyed just watching them two houses ago when we were in the woods.. You don't see them anymore where we live now. :( Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Not to my recollection. When’s the last time you were genuinely freaked out? A few nights ago when I found this freaky-ass centipede-esque bug in the living room. Roman was playing with it and I was just UHHHHHH NO. It got under the TV stand before I could kill it, so fml. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? More accurately, I just didn't care if I did, while acknowledging the possibility. I was also scared fucking shitless from the story I've told many times before, when my furious dad was blazing Nicole and me home rom school. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out? Spiders, 120%!!! Whose name might you have tattooed on your body? I want absolutely no one's name on my body. Who might you send a selfie to? lmaoooo nobody. I never just take random selfies to send people. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yep. Do you check the weather forecast regularly? No, I pretty much never do. Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? A.M. Have you ever given birth? Nooope, not in my plans. If by some incredibly low percent prevailing and I decide I want a kid, I'm pretty sure I'd go for a c-section instead. I know if I want kids, I honestly do want to do it the natural way (but ABSOLUTELY with a fuckin epidural), but because I've been told many, many times with piercings, nosebleeds, and much more, I'm a very heavy bleeder, apparently. Actually bordering on anemic, according to tests. And like, I would strongly prefer to, y'know, live if I go through all that trouble. But yeah, it's an immensely small chance I'll ever be in this situation anyway. Is your mom mentally stable? She has depression, but I'd consider her mostly stable. Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death? No. I was never a big fan, though of course I recognized his talent. What song reminds you of your best friend? "Get Up" by Shinedown is one. What was the last kind of snake you saw? I mean, I literally have a ball python in my room. Do you think you’d make a good parent? Probably not. Like, I can see myself being really attached to the baby because of who the father would be, like I'd want to protect and love it at all costs, but I'm just not mentally stable enough. I need my alone time so desperately, and kids already stress me the hell out. So in the big picture, no. What’s something most people don’t know about you? I guess that I've been to court. I'm sure people would automatically assume it was for legal reasons, which I know would be jaw-dropping to hear with me being such a goody two shoes. In truth, it was really for arguing against my expected stay span at the mental hospital. Could you seriously have sex using a colored condom? It's whatever. I'd sure as hell rather use a condom than no condom. What’s your least favorite flavor of candy? Usually grape. How has your health been lately? It's not been great. I'm currently waiting for blood tests to come back to see if I have hypothyroidism (which would explain A LOT), I'm having some high cholesterol going on (I'm on a med for it now), my glucose was considerably high, My weight also isn't making any progress, and of course my knees are... my knees, lol. Your significant other or crush, do they align with any label? I've never seen him as perfectly fitting in anywhere when it comes to stereotypes. He's always just been beautifully him. What shaped you most in your life as a person? The breakup. It just changed... a lot. Have you made any life-altering decisions lately? I guess so, in how I've altered my goals as an independent adult and partner. Do you think the last person you texted is a virgin? (You don’t have to tell us who the person is, just say yes or no.) That would be my mother, who has five kids... Do you miss anyone? If so, tell me about this person you miss. Today was just so fucking good and I'm in the mindset where I just... don't. I have everyone I need. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I literally never use conditioner; it adds oil to your hair, and mine is already naturally very oily. I hate it. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Yesterday. I had to see a surgeon to see if my re-emerging cyst needs to be removed, and thankfully, not yet. I caught it coming back early enough and was put on antibiotics quickly enough to possibly kill it without surgery. Skip ahead for the squeamish, but there are two holes coming from the cyst itself that are draining fine, and what's exiting shows no signs of infection, it's not inflamed, etc., so hopes are high! When did you last see or speak to someone you dislike? Why do you dislike this person? It's been a while; not since I was last at my sister's place and her husband was obviously there. The more I hear about him, the more I can't stand him. The most recent drama is that apparently Ash can't go to the fucking gym because that automatically means she's cheating on him. Like y'all are married, grow the fuck up and trust your wife that you've chased since you were a goddamn teenager. Can you remember the last time you felt emotional? What was the reason? Y'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL a bitch gone cry writing this shit. So Girt stayed over last night, and we just had like... an awesome night and SUCH a chill day just sleeping in late, cuddling in bed, watching stuff on his phone, listening to music, etc. His Spotify was on shuffle, and like out of nowhere, that classic love song "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" (which is NOTHING like his other music????) came on, and he just stared at me smiling as he sang along to me, hugging me to him. Yup, I was right, I'm crying lmaooo. It just warmed my fucking heart so much, and I felt a calm and appreciation that I haven't felt since "him." But this felt so much healthier, with deeper history, with a heavy, heavy bond and such shared adoration between us. I know I've rambled on and on and ON about him lately but I fucking love this man. I never, ever thought I was going to feel something like this again after the breakup w/ Jason, but what do you know. I genuinely think I feel something even better. Do you call your partner "baby?" Nah. I can call him "babe" np, but I've never been able to call him "baby." Does your washer make a lot of noise? Not exceptionally so, no. Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? He has one older sister. Does your best friend ever wear fake nails? Sara is so natural in her appearance that I could NEVER imagine her with fake nails. What’s the last thing you searched on google? Haha, an orange baboon tarantula to show Girt. I am hardcore training this man to accept what our future holds: lots of hairy spooders. :^) Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? Yes. Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after? Literally only Girt. Sharing foods/drinks generally reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally grosses me out. Do you have any real guns in your house? Even IF I legally could, I wouldn't want one. I just want like, a bat beside or under my bed when I have my own place. Have you ever jumped on a trampoline in the ice? Jesus, no. That sounds terribly dangerous.

Survey #538

“the old man then prepares to die regretfully  /  that old man here is me”

What did you think was the worst movie of all time? I honestly don't watch enough movies to answer this. What’s a song that makes you cry? (come on, there has to be one) I physically cannot listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. "Stairway to Heaven" might even be worse, but I haven't dared listening to it since the breakup. Are there any dance/action/fighting scenes from a movie you can perform? No. Have you ever dreamt about your crush/significant other? Yep. What’s the next big event you’re counting down to? To be honest, Girt's and my anniversary, even though it's almost 6 whole months away, lmaooo. I recently thought of the BEST gift and I just can't wait to give it to him. Can the future be predicted? Nope. Do you know anyone who has a name that you hate? Who is this person? MY own boyfriend, lmaooo. Where is the farthest place you’ve been from home? Why did you go there? Illinois, to visit/meet Sara! Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening? Which one? I consider depression to be heavily life-threatening, so yes. Does the person you like have any flaws? He's very open about one of his biggest: he is very, very bad at knowing what to say in emotional situations or give advice in those cases. Girt honestly isn't a very emotional guy, and while of course he cares very much, he's just bad at vocalizing some things. He's more so the type to just hug and listen. I wish he was better at this, but I've got relationship flaws as well, so it's not a dealbreaker or anything that keeps me up at night. Who was the last person who cooked something for you? My ma. Who was the last person who you heard singing? Girt. His voice is so calming. Who was the last person who showed you how to do something? Ummm I wanna say Mom? Who was the last person who made you cry? Myself. Who was the last person you got drunk with? I've never been drunk. Who was the last person who touched your hair? Girt. What was the last birthday party you attended? My youngest niece's. What was the last fast food place you ate at? Some Chinese place with a name I don't remember. Where did you last go on a date to? I haven't been on an actual ~date~ since Sara and I went out to breakfast, before the pandemic and all.. Where does the last person you hung out with live? Like, 30 minutes away. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yeah. My mom once got me this really pretty one I think for Christmas, and Jason once got me one for our anniversary. Safe to say I don't have it anymore lmao. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? Never have, never will. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game) FUCK whtt was it called... I think something like Rabbids, which had those really weird, hideous rabbits doing random shit? We used to have it on the Wii. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? Nope. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? I think I'd pick my mom. The best man would be my spouse's choice, if they wanted a man instead of woman as one. What is a fear you have about living on your own? My depression skyrocketing. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? Not that I know of. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? I don't know or care. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural 'things?’ No. Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little? I... don't think so? What is your favorite breakfast item? Cinnamon rolls. Do you like to play Monopoly? No, it takes too long. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room? Yeah. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She's a wonderful singer and has impressive animation skills. What do you think about mullets? They're generally hideous, imo. What is the name of the last website you joined? I wanna say 500px, a website dedicated to photography. There are some absolutely brilliant artists on there, but I haven't actually posted much because like... the biggies are very intimidating. Would you rather live with your significant other before marrying them? I would strongly prefer that. Would you feel comfortable living with someone that owns a gun? Absofuckinglutely not. I don't even think that's legal with my heavy suicidal history. I wouldn't trust myself more than the person who actually owns it, though. In my depressive episodes, I absolutely do not want one accessible to me. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your Moms? I think she's a tad darker? What color is your birthstone? Purple. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Y'know, downstairs. That's a harsh no from me. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Do you have any tan lines? Noooo, definitely not. I'm literally on a vitamin for seeing the sun so rarely, lol. It was way, way too low without it. Who was the first person to ever ask you out? These two boys that always bothered the shit out of me in pre-k. I dreaded recess just because they would chase me around trying to hug and kiss me. It was a repressed memory of a while, but my therapist dug it up, and it really may be the root of my fear of men and people (regardless of gender, but usually men) being behind me. What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? My mental illnesses and the fact they may never be completely tamed down. Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) God, they love 'im. Always have. When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? The last time Girt was here. Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? No, I'm too shy and apprehensive of strangers for that shit. What did you last use a knife for? Oh god, idk. I'm terrified on knives. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? Closed. Roman would be playing in there all night otherwise. Who do you think reads these? I have no idea, ha ha. I don't write them with the goal of them being read, though. It's just a therapeutic passtime for me. The only reason I even post them anywhere is if anyone else just sees the questions and wants to answer them, too. What do you dip chicken nuggets in? Ketchup, most often. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was as a young child. Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love with? He couldn't handle my depression any longer. I can see now, years later, it was for the best. If he couldn't learn to communicate his feelings and stress or really was deeply affected by my own pain to the point it plagued him, then good riddance we're not together anymore. Breaking up years ago probably saved a novel of heartache for things that could've gone wrong later. I can see now that I'm better off without him, and he's better off without me, and that's okay. Has the opposite sex ever sang for you? Not like, at me, but just in my presence. What has made you happiest this past week? Just seeing Girt. How about the most upset? Just stressful and hurtful bullshit relating to Ashley's pictures she needed. They're finally fucking done, though. Never doing it again. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I've never been a fan of this. However, Girt calls me this so very infrequently and just on certain occasions that it just doesn't bother me enough to tell him not to. Would you rather receive roses or sunflowers? I'd be very appreciative of either, but I like roses more. Is your dad bald? Not quite, no. Who is the most boring, or dullest person that you know of? Hm, I don't really think I know anyone who is necessarily either. Everyone is unique and has interesting things about them. Who is the closest person in your life, emotionally speaking? Girt. Do you remember the name of the first bar you ever went to? I've actually never been to a bar; I'm just not interested, plus they make me kinda nervous. I don't want some random drunk guy trying to get my attention. What do you notice most about the opposite sex? I hate these questions, like it varies with the person and what are their strong features. What do most people call you? "Britt." How was last night? It was better than most nights. For once I wasn't unable to fall asleep at a reasonable pace, and I didn't have any nightmares. Has anyone ever hung up on you? I don't think so? What’s irritating you right now? I'm very, very tired of no less than having to nap almost every single day. I don't like doing it, but... I physically cannot stay awake without one. What are you doing tonight? I'd like to do something unique to what I usually do, but I can't pin something down. I really need to order my Wings of Fire book so I can keep reading. What was the last thing to inspire you? Girt. I see him and just feel so motivated to become a better, more successful person. Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? Oh, certainly. Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? I absolutely never go. I ain't fighting an absolute stampede to buy shit. Cyber Monday is where it's at. Have you ever purchased a YouTuber’s merch? If so, what did you buy? Markiplier and jacksepticeye actually have a clothing brand together, Cloak, and I have one shirt that I adorrrreeee. I REALLY want more stuff from there, their work is great visually and judging by my shirt, wonderful quality. Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes? Yeah, usually after the first few days to check stability. Girt NEVER touches his FB though so on his page, it still says "single" and I'm just like boy Facebook official is mandatory for a couple to be valid. Everyone knows this. /s Do you want your own house someday? With my partner, absolutely. I absolutely don't want to live with my mom forever, absolutely not, but living alone is terrifying for me. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Have you ever thought about your wedding? Haaaa, more than I like to admit. I think of the future I want way too much. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Ever seen your parents make out? omg no I would die What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan at all of the smiley piercing. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Not anymore, no. It's just... accepted as normal now. My mom gave up a very long time ago with trying to regulate my computer time. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, thankfully. What’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf? He's never, ever, lost faith in me. He's always been there. What’s the worst thing? I mentioned earlier about his very strong weak point in regards to knowing what to say in emotional situations, so that. I really like individuals who can connect with that side of them, but I love Girt far too much to get all worked up over one trait. What would you do if your parent hit you? I'm fuckin' out. If it was my father? Never talking to him again. On the other hand, if it was Mom? I'm moving in with my dad. I do NOT tolerate physical violence, never mind from my own parents. Has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls? No. Ever been tested for any STDs? No; I haven't needed to be tested. Do you think it’s weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf? ... No...? Especially if you're in a serious, intimate relationship, why would it be weird? Last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself): My mom, probably. Ever kissed someone half-naked? Yeah. Are your parents embarrassing? My father can be. Do you prefer dating a virgin? Or a guy who’s been around? I don't care. The only thing that would bother me personally is having a big number of previous partners. I'd just question their dedication and loyalty to our relationship. Do you have an annoying dog? She's not annoying, no. She's just super clingy, especially with Mom. What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO. What color was your first phone? I wanna say blue? Was your first phone a flip phone? I don't think so, no. Pretty sure it slid upwards. If you’re a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story? No only girls have periods, but w/e. I don't, at least not that I recall. Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? No, thank fuck. I see/hear someone else puking? I'm about to join in lmaooo. Do you get motion sickness? Nope. Do you own pumpkin earrings? No, but I want!!! What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? The Cheesecake Factory, for my birthday. We still had to wait like, 20-30 minutes though. Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Instagram. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Portrait/in any way human-oriented photography. I'm all about never giving up on your goals, but... there comes a time where it's just unreasonable and even foolish to keep pushing. Sometimes, it just simply doesn't work. Do you like salami? I love that shit. Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes? My dad never met Tyler, but that's it. How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them? I can't meet his dad as he passed away a long time ago, but I REALLY wanna meet his mom! We've just got to find a day where Girt nor her have work. Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? I only know English and German. Do you find the sound of a cat’s purr relaxing? Yesssss. Do you know your mum’s first pet’s name? I don't, actually. Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? Nah. Do you know anyone autistic? Yes. How about someone bipolar? Both me and one of my sisters are bipolar. What do you consider private to you? I don't enjoy talking about my sex life with literally anybody but my s/o. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: My mother, like y'all have no idea. Her life has been so, so brutally unfair. Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise: Jason leaving. Name something you wish you had enough money to do: A lot, man. I'd love to get Mom a new car, as well as a new house for us back in the woods, away from busy streets.

Survey #537

“girl, you’ve got to be what tomorrow needs”

When you choose your golf ball for putt-putt, what color do you pick? I always chose pink. Hamburger or steak? Cheeseburgers. Do you think reptiles are gross? I adore all reptiles. Do you scrapbook? No. Would you mind living to 100 years old if you were in semi-decent health? If I was in good health, as in like I could mostly handle myself, then I guess? When’s the last time you got heartburn? What do you think caused it? Sometime after leaving the hospital, I believe? I didn't see where my heartburn prescription was, so I thought we hadn't gotten it from the pharmacy yet or something, and stupidly, I didn't ask Mom until I was fuckin' dying. What caused it was my acid reflux; when I hit a certain weight, I began to develop the problem, and then when I lost a ton of weight, it completely stopped. Aaaaand then I gained the weight all back, and bam, it's a massive problem again. I can't even skip a day of taking it, or I'll know it. What’s your favorite red fruit? Strawberries! Do you enjoy sour candies? If so, which ones? My friend, I adore ALL sour candies. I won't turn away from ANY. Have you ever accidentally broken a window before? No. How old were you when you got your first crush? On who? Ngl man, I had a legion of crushes when I hit high school, ha ha. That's when I really realized I genuinely liked people in a romantic sense. I wanna say my first notable crush was Sebastian, the guy I sat beside in art class. What was the last disagreement you had with someone? What was it about? Uh, not sure. Which place is like a second home to you, and why? My dad's place, because he's you know, my dad. He and Kim are very welcoming there. I even stayed there for a few days when Mom and I got in a huge fight, which only made me closer to them. How would you feel if your parents posted your baby pictures online? I couldn't care less. I think I was a cute baby, and besides, I was a kid. Even if it was stupid shit, I reiterate: I was a child, and now I'm a fully-fledged adult. We're different people. What is one quirk about each of your parents that you can’t stand? I don't know if these are necessarily "quirks," but. Mom has a tendency to see ANY disagreement with her as disrespect, and I really don't like that my dad curses around the kids. I really don't think he notices or really comprehends that it can get Ash's kids in trouble (Aubree recently even said "goddammit," which we have NO clue where that came from, but he's a strong candidate, honestly). I think I make it pretty cleat that I don't give a rat's ass about "profanity," but I do believe that children don't quite understand when it's not appropriate, like in places such as school. There are many figures of authority in their lives that can punish them for that kind of stuff. Have you ever suffered from amnesia before? Not in like, a legitimate, lengthy case. I did have a brief period of it when I passed out and got my concussion, though; I remember stepping out of the tub, and then, nothing. I don't remember hitting the floor or anything. Right when I woke up though, I remembered even less, but it slowly came back to me. Do you have nice neighbors or annoying ones? I've never spoken to any. Does your body feel older than it actually is? Oh, most CERTAINLY, but it's my fault. What would you do if aliens took you back to their home planet? Freak the FUCK out while trying not to piss them off. Have you ever passed out before? What was the cause? Refer to the amnesia question. The doctors that examined me believe it was mostly from dehydration, as well as the fact I literally woke up and went RIGHT in the shower. I also used to shower with the door completely shut, and I keep my water pretty hot, so all the humidity probably contributed to it, too. Do you have an online game that you play often? The only online game I play these days in World of Warcraft, but I rarely touch it anymore, honestly. I'm even thinking of quitting. There are just other ways I'd like to spend my time. Have you ever taken a close up shot of a flower? Yeah. I wanna be a nature photographer, so. Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? The driveway. Did you lose your virginity in your own bed? That's probably how it will go. Are you taller than your mom? No, we're pretty much the same height. Are you dating the last person you kissed? I hope I'll always be with him, yes. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't think so. Jason sure didn't act like it. If you could move to Africa, would you? Not move there, no, but it's a dream to visit! Do you have a dirty mind? Are you capable of turning just about anything into an innuendo? Not really, no. I can't say it's never happened, but it's rare. What is something that you’re too chicken to do? Go to Australia, maybe? The wildlife is just so, so dangerous. What is the softest thing you have ever touched? A chinchilla. Have you ever made a hole-in-one at mini-golf? I think so? Which social media website do you frequent the most? Facebook. I need my memes lmaooo. Do you own an Alexa? I don't. How long have you lived at your current address? I wanna say close to two years? Would you rather read poetry or write it? Write it. Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Wal-Mart. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Pb&j Is marijuana legal where you live? No, but it should be. Do you drink enough water every day? Absolutely not. Why did your last cell phone have to be replaced? I actually don't remember, it's been years. Have you ever witnessed someone having a seizure? I think I've seen my sister have a minor one? Or maybe I was too upset to look, idk. Would you rather witness another human or an animal give birth? Neither is pleasant, but 100%, an animal. I could NEVER witness a human child being born. Meanwhile, I've seen cats give birth quite a lot when I was younger. Has the ending of a book ever been spoiled for you? It's possible, but not that I remember. What is a food that you really enjoy but only eat during special occasions or not very frequently? Spiral honey ham. What is the last surgery you underwent? I had a cyst removed. Which may be coming up again... It's returning for Round #2 (my old surgeon warned me it was common for it to), but thank god we seem to have caught it early, and I was put on an antibiotic that may actually kill it before surgery is needed. I'll find out in two weeks. If you were able to choose a new pet, what would you get? A western hognose snake morph!! When’s the last time you did an activity like a crossword or word search? I did quite a few while in the hospital... because it was like, the only activity we could do. What food or drinks makes your teeth hurt? Ice cream is a notable one. What is your favorite type of game (card, board, roleplaying, whatever)? Video games. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? If they didn't show any interest, no. I already can't drive, so... neither of us being able to drive would be a problem. I already can't and feel bad enough about it. I'm really hoping after I get new glasses, I can just suck it up and learn. How would you react if your artwork became famous? I would lose my fucking mind because that is an absolute dream come true. Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? With Girt actually, ha ha. Years ago when he was hanging out with me, we deadass watched a whole vacuum one and just joked around about it. What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich? Ham. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Of them all, I feel I had the most romantic chemistry with Jason. How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I don't care, dude. Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins? No. Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? Meerkats and Mark, ha ha. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them? Sure would. I'm pan anyway, so it really wouldn't bother me. Last person you took a nap with? Girt. :') Do you think someone likes the same person you like? I don't know. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes, even sold stuff there. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? No, thank fuck. What is your favorite messaging program? Discord. Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook? I wouldn't say via Facebook, no. What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted? I'd say a tarantula, back when we had a small exotic pet store. And may I add: petting tarantulas is very dumb, seeing as you're just stabbing yourself with urticating hairs. Holding is fine but not advised. And yep, my hand did get rashy. I remember the poor girl was rubbing hairs off, but I didn't have the slightest clue what that meant back then. A true sign of a rose hair's patience though is that she never threat posed or struck me. God, I want one. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No, seeing as mine are all the same. Girt's work schedule fluctuates, so I can't say I get excited for the same day every week, but I do get hyped when he's off because we normally hang out. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? I have no idea. I'm that person. Who is your favorite person to hug? Girt, 100%. We just about break each other's backs when we hug, lol. Have you ever had to have a mug shot? Nope. The last person you kissed treat you right? He always has since we first met a decade ago. Do you like to take walks? I miss that shit so much. My legs would never allow it now. Just going to the other end my house is excruciating. Were you happy when you woke up today? No. I'm so fucking done with all the nightmares. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Bitch I'd do that shit for free. Although admittedly not alone. Bring some friends though and that shit'd be dope. Have you and your current/last significant other discussed your sexual histories? Well yeah, I believe that's pretty important before you get intimate with somebody. Have your religious beliefs stayed the same since you were a child? Absolutely not. Who do you need to forgive? Myself. Who is someone who drains your energy? My nephew most of all, but that's normal, given he's five. I still love him to death, I just REALLY need to relax after interacting with him. He's very, very loud and excitable. What are the top three goals you want to accomplish in the next 12 months? The next year in specific, I want to get back into driving, actually be able to help my family with financial stuff, and improve my social anxiety. Is there anything you will never forgive your parents for? I guess not, seeing as I've forgiven everything, even my dad abandoning us. Is there anything an ex has “ruined” for you? A LOT of songs, most of all. There are also locations I don't like being at at all. Smells, even. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? This fucking shit at the bottom, like I love him y'all

If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle stuff, I'd say. Calming classical pieces and even meaningful ones that are still centered around being soft. John Lennon's "Imagine" came to my mind very quickly.

Have you got any half or step siblings? I have both, yes. When was the last time you were disappointed? Friday. Girt ended up being really stressed from work so wanted to reschedule so he could just relax at home. I loved his honesty and genuinely was fine with it, like I've been there plenty of times before, but I think it's reasonable that I was disappointed that I couldn't see him. Do you like kids’ movies? Plenty of 'em, yeah! They can be very cute and have a great moral to the story.

Survey #536

(from yesterday)

Are you looking forward to something as of right now? I'm really really excited for tomorrow because Girt comes over. I'm also honestly very keen for my next therapy appointment; I really need to talk to a professional about how my extreme attachment issues are resurfacing, this time with Girt. Since he called me at the hospital, I have been way, way too emotionally glued to him, and I'm worried that like with Jason, with time I'll totally lose my sense of autonomy. I don't want that to happen again, ever. Do you give up easily? Honestly, yes. Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Girt. Are you on birth control? Yes, but I'm getting it changed when I next see my doctor. I learned that apparently one of the meds I'm on interacts with the type of BC I'm on, decreasing its efficiency, which I absolutely do not want as an extra safety measure in my relationship. When you last shed tears, was it because of a person? I mean, it was me more than anything. Refer to question #1. I was just up really late and completely unable to sleep because I was worrying about that. I just never want to experience that again. Do you know what you plan to do for your next birthday? I don't, no. But it's a long ways off, so. Was the last book you read for fun or assignment related? For fun. If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? Red. If you asked your mom to describe you, what do you think she'd say? Anxious, shy, an overthinker, doubtful of myself, but very talented. When you eat out, what do you usually order as a drink? Mountain Dew or Coke. How many times a week do you cook? I don't. :/ I want to start cooking with Mom, though... I really want to be a better adult that knows how to do basic things. Name a chore you need to do. I do need to ask Mom if the dishwasher is clean or dirty, because that's the chore she wants me to take care of. I just need to get better at a lot of stuff. List three YouTubers you like to watch. Markiplier, John Wolfe, and Super Best Friends Play, just to name some of the top ones. Would you ever want to be a YouTuber for a living? Eh, I've considered it with my inability to work in a public environment, but I'm not dedicated enough to a specific idea to remain consistent. What are three of your favorite clothing stores? Rebel's Market, Hot Topic, and ig rue21. Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? Uhhhh... I think my acquaintance Ana? I can't say with certainty, though. I think everybody on my FB friends list is having kids. Do you like macaroni and cheese? Yes. My younger sister makes the BEST. What is your favorite thing to do after crying? Ex: Sleep, listen to music, have some alone time, talk to someone, etc? It can be any of those, but I guess more often than anything is sleep. Talking to my mom isn't rare, either. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No, and I wouldn't. I mean I talk enough about wanting tarantulas, but even the Old World Ts aren't fatal, and I don't know if I'd even get Old Worlds. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? Yeah. Have you ever been to a movie that sold out? Maybe? Can't say I'm sure. What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep? No movie has ever done that. What’s your mom’s mom’s name? It was Cecelia. Have you ever been tempted to steal? No. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What is one show you watch once a week? None. Would you rather watch lesbians making out or gay men making out? Uhhhh, neither? I'm really not into watching anyone make out. What is your favorite color for a leaf? Red, or just autumn-hued ones in general. Do you have any Garfield merchandise? If so, what is it? No. Name something frustratingly adorable. Girt's laugh. It warms my fucking heart and makes me smile so big. Meerkat pups are veeeery high on the list, too; I just wanna hug the hell outta one, but they're just so incredibly small and fragile. Are you going to the zoo this year? Why or why not? I mean, I'd like to, but realistically, I'm very doubtful even if I worked my ass off, a year wouldn't be long enough to regain enough strength in my legs to handle that much walking. Would you rather have a black bunny or a white bunny? Why? I suppose black, but I LOVE bunnies as a whole. Do you think praying works? Why or why not? No. I've experienced and seen it do nothing. HOWEVER, if doing so makes someone feel better, I'm certainly not gonna tell them not to. How often do you update your Facebook status? Extremely, extreeeeemely rarely. All I ever really do is share cute, relatable, and funny stuff, as well as political things I feel very strongly about. What do you think the world needs more of? Compassion. Understanding. What career field could you see yourself in? I just... really don't know. As the days go by, I see it to be more and more realistic that I'll probably be a housewife with photography stuff on the side. I just doubt by now I can make it a career, which I'm slowly getting somewhat okay with? Not entirely, though; I really want to feel like I'm doing something, something with more weight than taking care of a house, but I mean. I'm trying to be realistic. I haven't entirely given up my goals, though. What would you enjoy most about being a vampire? I dunno. What deadly sin are you most likely to commit? Sloth. What do you like best about the holidays? Seeing my nieces and nephew so excited. Do you like fried chicken? I hate it. Who's your favorite Lion King character? Mufasa. I really like Zira, too. Do you like bologna? I do. How many children do you want? If, and that's a major if, I ever have kids, I could never handle more than two. Do you have a DVD player in your car? No. Does your car have a GPS? No. How many video games do you have? A whole lot, I couldn't count. Do you have outside furniture? No. What is your favorite soup? I don't like soup. What is your favorite frozen dinner? Probably this grilled chicken pesto or whatever it is. We always have some in the freezer. Do you prefer frozen dinners to actual cooking? The latter, usually. Do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.? None of those anymore. Are you in good shape? I am in absolutely horrendous shape, and I need to get over how painful it is for me to exercise and just do it for my health. Would you ever go hunting? Over my dead fucking body. I don't think I even could for survival. Do you collect any toys? No. What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? Semi-recently, I'm certain it was at least 45 minutes. My longest may have been even lengthier. When I get hiccups, I do NOT stop, to the point my muscles hurt. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Oh Jesus fuckin' Christ, you have no idea. I think I've made it very apparent that when I love something, I canNOT love in moderation. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? I don't believe so, no. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I'm actually not sure, but it's a good one! My uncle got it for Mom. It was all she wanted for holidays, etc. Uncle Bill felt really bad for her that she'd wanted one for so long, but just no one could afford to get a nice one, so he bought one for her in a heartbeat when he found out. Name one world issue that upsets you. The whole pro-life argument. There's a shitload of world issues that upset me, but that's one of the biggest. It is absolute control over women. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Do you like bathing/showering? No. It's sad, but it's one of the most excruciating things I have to do, to the point I may be getting a shower chair when we can afford one. Just stuff like propping my legs up, twisting, bending, all of that is horrendously painful. It sounds so stupid, I know, but like... I promise it's very hard. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I'd actually love a lava lamp. They're relaxing and just pretty. What do you take the most pictures of? My cat, haaaa. What is something that you never turn down? alskfjlkqwjelk;ja;lewr soda if it's offered to me. What is something that you always turn down when offered? Money from anybody, especially if it's not for like, a holiday. Even THEN I'm very, very uncomfortable. Name something sexy about your significant other. LKJALKSJLK;WAE HIS SHOULDERRRRRS. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Watching my favorite YouTubers, probs. I'd like to do it less, but I never wanna entirely drop it. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dancing, I suppose. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Maybe violin? Have you ever been on a subway? No. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? I cannot stand it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Lays, probably. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes, thank the fucking lord. I cannot stand cleaning dirty dishes by hand. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? No. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? NO. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? Nah. Name one naughty thing you’ve done. aklsjfklajwelkwje how about I don't Name two of your favorite things as a child.: Spyro and dinosaurs. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? I do. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just let them be by this point in my life. Do you have any interesting scar stories? No. Do you like guns? I absolutely disdain guns. I never even want to hold one. When did you last draw something for fun? It's been a long time. Who makes the most in your entire family? I don't know, that's not something I ask. Do you like writing essays? I did, actually. It was sometimes hard to start, but when I did, I would GOOOOOOOOO and got really into getting my point across. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Who cares? Is anyone else affected by someone feeling more comfortable in their body? No. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It’s picked up. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Mom. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Girt. When was the last time you updated your profile picture somewhere? What is your current photo of? It was actually very recently when I changed my main Tumblr's icon. It's Mark, duh. I haven't touched my blog in many months, but I just felt like doing it. Who was the last person you spoke to online? How do you know this person? Girt. We met my freshman year through band. What was the last reason for taking painkillers? Did they work to make you feel better? I take a prescription painkiller for my knees, but i'm certain I'm on too low of a dose, because it does nothing. Which do you prefer - Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr or TikTok? Facebook. How many surveys would you say you take a week, on average? Lately, it's a stupid amount. I just find them therapeutic, and that's something I definitely need to exercise right now. It helps me get my thoughts and feelings untangled and sometimes even motivates me to fix shit. What was the last reason for you to leave your house? I had a doctor appointment yesterday. Assuming you had all the money, space and knowledge necessary, what animal(s) would you love to keep as a pet? An opossum, 100%.

Survey #536

(from a day ago)

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? 7. :x What time of the year do you dislike the most? Fucking summer. I am just MISERABLE. What is your favorite color to wear? Black. Are you an overachiever? No. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? I mean, there's a lot, but #1 would be a slim stomach, probably. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I haven't shaved my legs in over a year. I don't know the longest I've gone not shaving my armpits, but not too long. The longest was probs during a hospital stay, given we weren't allowed to have razors. What is your favorite thing about your life? It's my relationship right now. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? This is... remarkably easy. All the animals, certainly. Like, consider JUST how muck roadkill there is. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes, myself, because it was a school art assignment. Did you enjoy your past relationships? All of my "legit" relationships, yes. When was the last time you were in a pet store? It's been a while. I rarely go with Mom when she has to pick up rats for my snake, but sometimes I go in. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My nephew. Does your mom know you do surveys? No. I wouldn't want her to anyway because I know she'd want to read them. Not because she'd be suspicious, but because she'd just be curious. Are you currently planning a trip? No. It'd be nice, though. How many plants are in your home? None. What movies have tripped you out? *shrug* Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? Yeah, I was actually really good at it. Haven't done it in yeeeeaaarrrrs though. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? Shit, I wouldn't even if I was in good shape. I'm too self-conscious and just don't want pictures like that to exist to potentially be shared or something. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No; I only wear my APAP mask. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am immensely picky. If I kiss you, you're someone really special. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't believe so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? He probably is, honestly, but I'm not sure. If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? Well, if you truly take the Biblical requirements to get there to heart, I'd go to Hell. Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom, very closely followed by Girt. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My weight, without fail. Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yep. Do you like any of the songs on Twlight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" and "Decode." How old was the first person you kissed? At the time, he'd turned 18 a couple months prior. Last person to stand up for you? Fuck if I know. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yeah. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? Not really, no. Partially because I can't say a damn thing with my own reliance on technology, but also because there's no way of knowing exactly why they have so many without asking. For example, I know from experience with my niece that particularly autistic children tend to find comfort in technology or something like that, I can't remember exactly. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? No; I only bought Jason's senior year one as well as my senior year edition because of memories. The seniors had really nice photos dedicated to them. I fucking hate mine, though. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I love that shit. Did you ever play Minecraft? No. My niece is getting quite into it, though. The Creepers just scare her a bit sometimes. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have an account, but I wasn't one of those members that paid for bonus content. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The way Jason left me. It would have been extremely hard to accept no matter how he went about doing it, but shit, man... His method was fucking heartless. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? Maybe TMI, but the only reason we haven't yet is because we haven't had what is required to truly be safe. We've talked about it and we're on the same page about being very safe. Do you feel protective over someone? My nieces and nephew, more than anyone. I'm protective to a degree over my little sister, too. Then there's Girt; I've come to find in serious relationships, I turn into a Mama Bear-type person that would destroy the first fucking thing that caused harm to my partner. Girt's very independent and can easily handle his own problems though, so I'd try to not be overwhelming if/when we're ever presented with a situation like that. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Chicken sandwiches, probs. Are you a fan of seals? Sure, they're cute. Do you have a favorite pet? I love Roman and Venus equally. Have you ever played with toy cars before? I recall once doing so with my childhood neighbor. We were really close and would go across the path to each other's houses all the time to play. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday for a reason I don't quite remember. It was nothing serious, I do remember that much. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Yessssss!! I used to LOVE picking them up and watching them crawl over my hands and arms. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? Not anymore, actually. Even with Mark, I've long since just watched what really piques my interest. I do always watch life update stuff, though. I love him all the same as I always have, I'm just not always interested in his content, especially with JUST how many YouTubers I watch by now. I need a lot of time to keep up with all of 'em, ha ha. Have you ever won a game of chess? God no, I don't understand it at all. Do you enjoy staying at hotels? I do, it's a nice change of scenery. How often do you bike ride? Never, anymore. It's been years. My knees could absolutely never handle it now. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? HELL no. I can't even get one hit. Does your best friend have any piercings? I... actually can't remember if Sara has her ears pierced. o_o What are cuter: poodles or German shepherds? Oh, German shepherds for sure. I'm not a massive poodle fan. Is it annoying when people post their drama all over Facebook? I don't care, man. It's their Facebook; they can post what they want. I wouldn't do it, but what others post on their FB isn't my business. What was the last thing you dreamed about? I don't actually remember, but I know Girt was in it. Did the last person you kissed have tattoos? No, but I know he wants a sleeve one day, he just doesn't know of what yet. Why did you last laugh really hard? I'm not 100% sure because we laugh A LOT together, but I believe the most recent was when Girt set his alarm for the morning and this motherfucker set the tone to John Cena's intro (it was for some reason on his phone????) and we fuckin died, like I was crying because that shit was so abrupt and just hilarious. How have you felt today? Stressed out, honestly. What’s the latest you went to bed this week? Like, 2 AM or so. Anyone told you a secret this week? Well, Girt shared something with me that probably is. I doubt he'd just tell anyone. He was nervous to tell even me because he was scared I'd think less of him. I didn't like what he shared, but it didn't change my opinion of him at all. In the next 4 months, what are you looking forward to most? Uhhh, I guess Easter. I never really look forward to anything in spring and summer months... Do you have your driver's license? Sigh, no. I've been thinking of how badly I need it for many reasons, though. Stresses me out. Who was your last text message from? My mom. Do you use teeth whitener? No. I tried using Crest strips, but I wasn't using them regularly enough to see results. I'd like to get them whitened professionally at some point, but it's not super high on my list of things to do. Do you iron your clothes? No. Do you live near any volcanoes? No. It'd be cool to see one once in my life, though. Tell me something about yourself that you don't normally tell people. I don't generally start a conversation with "oh hey I once flirted with my then-best friend's boyfriend behind her back," that's for sure. Like, I'd tell pretty much anyone if it was very relevant to the conversation and it made sense to admit it, because I mean this was when I was 12 and I am a massively different person, but it's still uncomfortable to share. Who were you last mad at and why? My older sister. It's a long story that I don't feel like getting into to make my day even more stressful. Do you think tomorrow will be a good day for you? I'm suuuure it'll be better than today. I do have a doctor's appointment that I'm really dreading, but from there I'm finally going to Girt's house, where I'll be helping him babysit his nephew. What is something that one of your family member collects? My older sister collects Grinch stuff. Like, that family is obsessed. You should see her house when Christmas comes around. If you were able to set up a stand, what would you sell? UHHHHHHHH idk. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? I have before, yes. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? This area FREAKS at the smallest CHANCE of snow, even if we're only at risk for a couple inches. If we're experiencing a severe hurricane, it'll also get canceled. I remember once or twice in the past, the heat was so incredibly severe that it was also canceled. If you were given a certain amount of time to live, would you want to know? Yes. Who is your favorite Disney Princess? Probably Jasmine or Mulan. When was the last time you did something that you’ve never done before? What was it? Uhhh I wanna say early this week? I'd prefer to not share it, though. Now that you are an adult, which situations make you feel most like a grown-up? Which situations make you feel like you’re still a child? I rarely feel like an adult, I'll be real. Like, the only thing that really makes me feel grown-ish is I can sign myself into the doctor's office. Sad, I know. On the other hand, I think what makes me feel most childish is how dependent I am on other people. What are three things/interests you are currently into right now? Three of my biggest interests at the very moment consist of Wings of Fire, watching some of my fave YTers play Elden Ring, and I think it's obvious that I've been a bit too into surveys lately lol like have you SEEN this spam. What was the last small thing that really inspired you, that jumpstarted you to create or gave you a great idea? Talking to a specific nurse at the hospital the night before my release. She motivated me to succeed more than ever. What are some things that you enjoy but you have no practical use for in your own life (e.g., baby clothes for a non-parent or school supplies for a non-student)? Do you still browse these items at stores? Ummmm the first thing that came to mind was I love seeing (tasteful) boudoir photography. I don't shoot human photography anymore, and God knows I could never be the subject, so. I still like seeing it on places like deviantART and Pinterest, though. Do you wish that you had more followers on any platform? Do you even pay attention to how many likes/comments/followers you have? I mean, I think that's normal for someone who's trying to create their own business to survive off of. I don't check those things very often, but I can't say I never look. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Our previous house was a health hazard, especially with my mother's cancer diagnosis. As well, our long-time family friend was given this place when her friend (the previous owner) died; said friend told Tobey she wanted Mom and I to take the house in her place. Tobey and Mom have some kind of understanding with rent and stuff; I haven't asked the details, but I don't think that's my business. Do you clean your house all at once, or a little bit at a time? My mom admittedly does most of the cleaning, but when I help, it's definitely a slower process. Mom cleans in bigger episodes of motivation. Are any of your relatives musicians? No. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Violet Orlandi & Jonathan Young's cover of Ghost's "Square Hammer." Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. What months were you and your siblings born in? I'll only include my immediate sisters here. I was born in February, my younger sis's birthday is in April, and Ash was born in June. What did you have for dinner last night? Chicken nuggets. Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! No, that shit's disgusting. Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? They're hot and you can never change my mind laksjlka;jwelrjqw;lkerj Ever had to take an inkblot test? Yes, once for some sort of therapy evaluation or whatever. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No, I don't believe so. Have you ever seen a walrus? I seem to remember seeing one at SeaWorld (which I would never re-visit) as a kid, yes. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? To still be living to begin with. To be in a place where I don't want to die every second. Are you nosy? I know I honestly am. Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? My current boyfriend.

Survey #535

“i was raised in a deep, dark hole  /  a prisoner of no parole”

What’s the most intense thing you’ve ever felt? Being deeply in love. What do you like to do better - kiss or hug? Kiss from my bf, but he also gives the best hugs of anyone I know or have ever known. From anyone else, I also prefer hugs 'cuz I'm not into platonic kisses. I don't even like when family kisses my cheek. Do the Emergency Alert System noises on TV freak you out? Yes, actually, because my brain is instantly convinced there's a tornado alert. Do your parents trust you? I'd assume so? I don't see why they wouldn't. Do you like white chocolate or dark chocolate better? Out of those two, dark. Do you like pot roast? No. Have you ever been spied on? How would... I know this if I was spied on???????? Did you get enough rest last night? No; I've been sleeping really bad lately. I kinda just eventually pass out. What was the last thing that kept you awake? I'm too FUCKIN ATTACHED so it was because Girt wasn't here. If you have pets, do they sleep in your bedroom at night? Roman sleeps in my bed, Venus' terrarium is across from my bed, and Cookie usually sleeps with Mom, but sometimes ends up in the living room. Can you sleep with background noise or does it keep you up? I prefer silence. Who has been your favorite actor to play Batman (live action)? Zero clue. I haven't seen all the movies and am also very clueless on actors. Who has been your favorite live action Joker? I doubt Heath Ledger could be beat. He was SO dedicated to that role, to a detrimental degree though. What was the last horror movie you saw? Bro, I don't think I've watched a horror movie since The Shining, which was like... a year or two ago. Has anyone smoked in your car? Mom doesn't allow anyone to smoke in hers; I don't have my own. Something you wish your parents would let you do: The only thing I can think of is how Mom won't allow me to own any tarantulas while I'm under her roof, ha ha. Otherwise, she knows I'm an adult and can make my own decisions. Actually wait, she's told me very firmly she would NEVER let me be friends with Colleen again; not that I even want to, it was just relevant to a conversation. I don't know how she would keep me from doing that, but. Is there anyone you are holding a grudge against? I guess so, yeah. Is there anyone holding a grudge against you? I'm sure. Have you ever been in the hospital for more than a week? The longest was around two weeks, maybe a tad more. What is your favorite thing from McDonalds? I enjoy their quarter pounder as well as the fries, of course. Have you ever seen a therapist? Countless since the sixth grade. I was just assigned a new one after the hospital because my insurance fell off, and I've extremely unhappy about it. Haven't met her yet, but still. I was very happy with my last one. Life goes on though, I suppose. Is your bed comfortable? Yeah, it's fine. How many text messages do you think you send a day? Well, usually zero. Have you ever lost money by gambling? I don't gamble. What is the closest yellow item to you? Pikachu on my Pokemon pj pants that features Gen. 1's four starters. What job do you want to have in the next five years? Can I just be a freelance photographer, please... If you got a new pet today, what would you name it? I'm hoping to get a female western hognose morph next in my life, who I wanna name Miss Piggy, ha ha. Are you a good cook? Ugh, no. I seriously need to learn; especially being in a serious relationship now with a hopeful future, I don't want to put all the cooking on him or rely on the microwave for eternity, lol. At least he knows how to cook two things while I ain't got shit, ha ha. Are you comfortable with your weight right now? Bitch I wish. Also from being in a relationship now, I'm more self-conscious about it than ever. My partner's reassured me many times he literally doesn't care whatsoever and that I'm already beautiful, but regardless, I wanna feel pretty for him. Do you drink energy drinks? Noooo, they taste like absolute poison to me, are so damn sticky if they get on anything, and I don't want to find one I love anyway and get hooked.. My love for other really sugary sodas is bad enough. What are you thinking about? How I'm excited for the weekend to see Girt again . Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced? Yes; I mind very much. I want to be prepared to socialize and be sure I don't look like a total mess, idc who it is. In your phone, who is the first contact listed under ‘R’? I don't have anyone, actually. How many brothers does your father have? None. What would you do if you got pregnant? Have an abortion and tell like, two people in my real life. I'd be open about it to online friends, but still wouldn't like talking about it. From growing up pro-life until many years ago, there's like, this trained part of my brain that would make me feel like a monster. I know most of my family would have shit to say too, so I would be super private about it. Do you giggle a lot? I don't giggle, I turn into a fuckin hyena lmaooo. Do you have plans tomorrow? No. What were you doing this morning at 8? Sleeping, surprisingly. Is the person you’re interested in, interested in you? Yeah, he makes it pretty obvious. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Someone asks you on a date, where do you wanna go? If there's ever another cool day anytime soon, I would love love love to like, go to a lake with Girt and have a picnic. It sounds so cute. ;-; But I'm pretty sure the cool days are gone 'til autumn comes again, so, it's not very realistic. ACTUALLY, what would be probably even more enjoyable would be to like, go to a hotel right beside a beach and not go to beach itself because fuck those, but just like, order pizza and just keep the windows open to hear the waves and play mobile games and stuff in bed, spend the night there. Are you mad about anything? No. Have you ever been called "scene"? No, only emo or goth. Where are you right now? My bedroom. I want to be in the spare room more often, but while I was gone, Mom did something in there because it's chock-full of random stuff??? Do you think you have a vivid imagination? I like to think so. What did you have for dinner yesterday? Mom made wheat spaghetti with breadsticks. What’s the longest movie you’ve ever watched? Uh, I want to say Troy? I don't know, really. Do you own any dice? No. Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? Yeah, eventually. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yes. List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner Uhhhh I am REALLY bad with paying attention to dates and when things happen, but let's see: 1.) Got discharged from the hospital, 2.) had a sleepover w/ Girt, 3.) watched a really interesting speed run of Silent Hill 2 also with Girt, and... I really can't think of anything else that stands out. If you found out your ex had a new partner, would you be upset? Not at all; those feelings are long gone and like, I've moved on with my life, and even Jason, I wish the same for them. When you kiss someone, do you like to play with their hair? Yeah. Do you ever find it difficult to put your thoughts/feelings into words? VERY badly. It depends on the subject, but in most, it really is hard. Time for some questions about you and your significant other/crush. What is something you like, that he/she doesn’t like? I looooove horror stuff, while he's a pansy and couldn't even handle the very first encounter with a Necromorph in Dead Space and I will NEVER stop teasing him about it lmaooooo. What is something he/she likes, that you don’t like? SALADS. Y'all don't even KNOW how much this man eats fucking salad. Like yeah, I like normal salad with few toppings, but this motherfucker will eat any salad multiple meals a day, like how?????? Something you both like? Vidya games. Something you both dislike? Hm, I'd say we share a dislike of mostly the same music genres. Have you ever lied to the person you love/like? Nope. If the last person you kissed told you they loved you, would you believe them? He says that all the time already, and I 100% believe him. He's proven that again and again over the past decade. Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Of course! Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Of course, platonically. I love reminding friends that. Random fact about the person you love/like? Ha ha, one of his proudest accomplishments is at one point being I believe the #7 worldwide player of whatever his class is in Final Fantasy XIV. He eventually stopped the hardcore playing though because he didn't like where the dedication was going. But anyway, when I sometimes tell him he's #1 for whatever reason, this guy goes, "No, I'm #7" like a fucking smartass lmao. How many long term relationships have you been in? Well, I'd technically only consider two to be long-term, as I really see a relationship as "long-term" when it reaches the year mark. We're at six months in this one, though it genuinely feels like we've been together for years with our history. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? All of them but Venus' heat lamp are off. I prefer having some light, because my vision in the dark is awful. Like, I can see literally NOTHING until my eyes adjust in a little bit. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Fot school, yes. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? Nope. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Motionless In White has one coming up, as does Rammstein! Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? He was only my bf for a day, but Mom always thought Juan was kinda sus. He didn't have the best rep, which I knew, but I didn't know why. How long do you want to live with your parents? I really don't plan on leaving Mom 'til I move in with an s/o. I really, really think living alone would be very detrimental for me. What are you currently listening to? "Go TEll Aunt Rhody" from the REVII soundtrack. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Lots of stuff. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, now that I've experienced just how incredibly comforting it is to have Girt there. I'm still cautious about it though, considering my nightmares... I haven't had one in a while, shockingly, but I do doubt they're gone. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Every day, yeah. Did you get any compliments today? Nah. Haven't really done anything/gone anywhere to get any. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Hell no. Like seriously, try to explain why a fucking war is happening right now. You could never convince me there's a reason. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes, though I had to stop because my body couldn't handle it. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? I can't say I'm sure. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could ever perform it, anyway, given my hand tremors. Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower. Leading makes me very nervous. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I might never change the style again, because I love it so much. Color, I absolutely want to dye it ASAP. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No, but my best friend in HS literally was. Her GPA was unbelievable. Do you call anyone baby? No.

Survey #534

“i wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name”

Are you afraid of dying? Not for the most part, but the fucked up idea that there's possibly a hell for people who simply don't believe in God exists has somewhat clung to me since I was young and raised Christian. I personally don't believe there is, but what do I really know? Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? A MOUSE. I hate trackpads. Have you ever done any volunteer work? Yeah. If you could have one wish right now, what would it be? I want my period to fuck off alskfjalkwje it came early because for whatever stupid reason, the hospital didn't keep me on it while I was there. Do you like getting massages? It'd be super awkward and uncomfortable if it wasn't my s/o. Do you wear glasses? Ugh, yes, but I haven't since the hospital. They broke for good, so I haven't been able to see a goddamn thing. What kind of person were you in middle school? Cringy, awkward, outgoing-ish, and my depression was starting to creep in. Do you like French toast? YESSSSSS. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? Yep yep, I loved it as a kid. Do you own any Uggs? No, they're so ugly. Are you wearing any rings on your fingers? Two. Name a TV show that you absolutely can't stand. I haven't watched it and never will: 13 Reasons Why. I just feel like it covers too serious and personal things that shouldn't be broadcasted via TV. I read and liked the book, but that's it. Do you look like your age? Apparently not; a girl at the hospital thought I was like, 19, ha ha. Do you feel confident in a bathing suit? Absofuckinglutely not. Have you ever been told you had an accent? Yes, primarily when I was younger. Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. Have you ever sent someone sexual pictures of yourself? No, I'm too uncomfortable about that. Are you good at drawing? I think I'm decent at it. Have you ever had a concussion? Once or twice, I don't remember. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? NOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Do you like hot tubs? They're okay for a little while. Have you ever peed your pants in public? No, but UGH I will never forget the time I went to Wal-Mart with Colleen and we were walking quite a while, and kinda fast (for me) to keep up with her. That, as well as the fact I very easily get hot af, really, really set off my hyperhidrosis, I know it looked like I had. Are you good at doing fractions? NO. I just suck at math, period. Do you regret losing your virginity to whoever you lost it to? vIrGIn but I know I won't, unless something traumatic happens, god forbid. Do you wish you could change something about your hair? I really, REALLY wish it was dyed. :/ Do you get mad easily? No. Did you have a Gameboy as a child? We had three, for me and my sisters. Would you rather get high or get drunk? Honestly, high. I've never done either, but I'm quite sure being high would be more pleasant than drunk. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? The first one is good, but the second is a travesty. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Can others make you cry easily? YEEEEEEEEEP. Do you like traveling? Ugh, I would if I could. Have you ever been dumped? Yes. Incredibly harshly. What do you most like about making out? Uhhhhhhhhhhh. I've never really thought about it? I suppose because it's a passionate expression of love and trust, idk. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? The other. I'm shy about it, but have been first before. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? If their child was old enough to take care of themselves pretty well, I might be able to? Like I just could not handle diapers, cleaning up messes, all that comes with younger children. I would very much prefer to avoid any (step) children, though. Do you miss your last sweetie? Not romantically, no, because my boyfriend is all that matters to me now in that sense. I miss hanging out with her as friends, though! How can I win your heart? Apparently be Girt lmaooo What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I think I was making a Spotify playlist at that time? Name four things that you wish you had: A healthy body, a healthy mind, a house in a place Mom and I actually like, and for my "uncle" Rob to stop being a piece of fucking shit in regards to his mother's inheritance. Recently, after entirely avoiding the family forever, this sarcastic, malicious asshole failed tt put "the estate of (Grammy's name)" in the checks, and we are entirely aware he did this deliberately; he's honestly a very smart man and knew what the fuck he was doing: if those checks were cashed, it would raise a massive red flag for everyone's bank, and all of Grammy's kids (save for obviously fucking Rob...) could really get into trouble. Everyone is fucking pissed, and not only because it's unfair, but because everyone has said that Grammy and Grampa would be rolling over in their fucking graves. Ugh I'ma shut up, I could go on forever about the shit he's done. Are you a player? Not at all. Are you a tease? Been told so. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? No, I don't really have friends on it. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? It's funny how much I used to hate it. I don't care now. Just don't call me "baby." Do you flirt a lot? I'd say I do a moderate amount? If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Sorry Mark, you lost the spot on this, ha ha. I only wanna kiss Girt. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I hate it, but I know I'm happier in one, because I feel validated and like I'm not unlikable. What was the filling in the last doughnut you ate? I hate donuts filled with anything. What was the last thing that you considered buying, but chose not to? Idk. Can you recall the last time you bought flowers for someone? What kind? I can't. And when was the last time someone sent flowers to you? What kind? Tyler, when we briefly dated. He got red roses. Are you a keen reader? If so, what books are you planning to read soon? Yeah, I'm getting back into it! I'm ordering the next Wings of Fire book soon, and I also wanna get to The Testaments by Margaret Atwood soon. Are there any books that you own more than one copy of? No. As a child, what was a trait or habit you had that annoyed your parents? The fact I ate too fast. I still do. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? "Well I don't." Do you play any games on Facebook? No. How many bank accounts do you have? None. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Tattoos and piercings by professionals. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? Not to my memory. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I know her past has been rough, so I don't really ask about it. I do know that her mother kicked her out when she got pregnant with Katie though, which I would definitely change for her. Her mom and she had such a rough relationship. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? MOPPING. The former is fine. Did you pull a senior prank? No, I hate pranks. What was the last song you listened to? "Bad Girlfriend" by Theory of a Deadman. Is acting something you enjoy? Not at all. Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? Sara's, if we're excluding family like that. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played quite a few: soccer, softball, basketball, dance, and cheerleading. I only really liked softball, basketball, and dance. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No, not my thing. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? My Claok shirt says, "Equal in our bones," which I really love. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. I don't ever want hamsters again, for one. Never known a nice one. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? Not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I also am not sure. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill 2's, which I won't share. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? The second or third day of the hospital, idr. Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Can you handle blood? Yep. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Are you currently searching for a job? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. What was the last thing you planted? I wanna say habaneros, and that was YEEEEAAAARS ago. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't think so, but possibly. What makes you feel lucky? Will I ever shut the fuck up about Girt? Probably not. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold, in a can. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? I don't recall. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? Usually my writing. What is the worst smell you can remember? Without any competition, no shadow of a doubt, the very large tumor Teddy had near his ~business~. If I remember right, it was infected, and because of his incontinence, he already had to wear a diaper, so when he peed himself (he aso had a UTO forever), the smell was unreal. I shit you the fuck not, I couldn't even change his diaper. I would vomit. Mom had to do it. Do you enjoy memes? If so, what’s your favorite? Maaaan who doesn't love a good meme. I have too many to pick from. Have you ever had a sinus infection? Yep. When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? Haha, last night, but it's never rough. When Roman's mad at me for things like not allowing him to lay on me because I want space, he'll very gently slap my hand or lightly bite me. He's a spoiled brat, ha ha. Is there a song you’re surprised your significant other (or best friend) likes? What is it? Hm, probably. Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Bake, so long as there's butter, cheese, and bacon bits. What are your favorite things to spend money on? Tattoos. What does your mom call you? "Britt," usually. Ever kissed someone who smokes? Juan kissed me; I went rigid and didn't do anything. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. Have you ever been given a lap dance by an actual stripper? lskjfl;wjekljl no, I do not want that. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Milky Way, easy. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Ye. Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No.

Survey #533

(from real late last night)

Name a song that brings back memories of your childhood when you hear it. A lot of country songs. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara and Girt do. They're both great, but I think Sara wins. What brand of lip balm do you prefer? Blistex. What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? My signature, for hospital paperwork. What’s the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I'd really, really like to get new bras that fit more comfortably. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? Not yet. We'll know. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Girt. Uhhhh I think the last thing was a bit more regarding my nightmares. Thank the fucking lord I didn't have one. Who did you last say "I love you" to? What colour are that person’s eyes? Girt. His eyes are brown. What noises can you hear around you? I'm listening to "Blood, Milk, and Sky" by White Zombie rn. Where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex? Blah blah, I've never gone that far, but I think the weirdest place I've done sexual things with was just on the floor. Nothing very unique. Who was the last person you took a photo with? Was it self-taken? Girt took a picture with Roman when he finally accepted him as a friend, ha ha. My head was sorta in the background. I really wanna take some good pictures with him, that one is literally the only one that exists, ahhhhhh. We both don't like pictures. Are you more logical or creative, or maybe somewhere in between? Creative, for sure. Do you use bar soap or gel soap? Gel. I don't like bar soap. Does your bedroom door have a lock on it? Do you have to use it? Yeah, but I don't use it. Who was the last person you saw a movie at the cinema with? Who paid? My dad. He paid. Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? I didn't legally live there, but I was there all the time regardless. If you smoke, what’s your brand of choice? I don't. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah. Do you have a crush on anyone? Tell me about them. I realized in the hospital that I'm in love with him; it's no crush. He is a fucking phenomenal person that never, ever gave up on me. He is so goddamn caring, generous, loyal, hilarious, hard-working, sweet... I just adore him. Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? No. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Walking in and out of places like stores, yes. How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? None. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Front flips, yes. I always too scared of like, breaking my neck to do a back flip. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? Yeeeep. Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? Very few, but I don't feel like counting. Do you think dimples are cute? YES. Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? Fruity. Have you watched a movie today? No. I barely ever watch them. Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I think so. Skittles! What’s your favorite color? Red! Do you like canopy beds? I do! I'd love to have one. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? YESSSSSSSSSSSS, I LOVE it. Grew up with it 'cuz of Mom! Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever gone frog hunting? Well, not really, but I would usually walk the little concrete slope along the bank of the river my dad and I used to go catfishing at, looking for them or a snake. Do you ever suffer from dry skin? I have INSANELY dry skin almost everywhere. Like, it's ludicrous. Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? Noooo. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? His bedroom. What do you occupy your time with on flights? Listening to music and looking out the window. Do you dog-ear pages in books? Yeah. I used to not to, but now I don't really care. Are your parents liberal or conservative? Mostly conservative, but I know Mom has some liberal outlooks. Have you ever dated a bad boy? Nah, not into 'em. Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I love playing video games with kids. Do you daydream? I'm a big daydreamer. Are you hiding your feelings from someone? alskjalkjelw literally told the man I'm in love with him so I guess not Can you jump high? Hunny, I doubt I could jump period. My knees would crumple. Have you ever seen a pop star in concert? No. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No. What did you last feel nervous about? I told Girt something really private 'cuz it was relevant. Loved him more for how he reacted. What did you do the last time you hung out with your boyfriend? Watched TV, cuddled 'n' stuff, had a sleepover. :') What is the most you have ever weighed? What I weigh now, which I'm not sharing. Have you ever done anything sexual with the same sex? We've kissed. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Have you ever been so scared of a movie you had to leave the theatre? No. Do you like moustaches? Indifferent. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever seen The Goonies? Yeah. Do you value tradition or are you one to not give a damn? I literally couldn't care less about traditions. Have you been having any crazy weather lately in your corner of the world? We literally experienced ALL four seasons yesterday, my man. Snowed, rained, hot, everything. How do you want to be treated/cared for when you are physically ill? Just don't make me get up, ha ha. I really appreciate acts of kindness when I'm sick. What do you tend to get carried away with? Overthinking to the extreme. Who is one person you regret letting go? Nobody, by this point in my life. What color hair did your first crush have? My first real crush had brown hair. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? alskjfal;kwejlkweaowejioruw Girt recently called me "absolutely gorgeous" and I deadass almost started sobbing. Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? ALWAYS water. I cannot stand even room temperature water, it tastes so gross to me. Have you ever painted anybody’s nails aside from your own? No. Do you use scented soap in the shower? Body wash, yes. Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? No, and I pray the FUCK to god I never will. Did you play in the sand box as a kid? Yeah, and after I got into meerkats, my favorite thing became digging tunnel systems, ha ha. Have you ever colored your eyebrows? No. Have you ever taken another person’s prescribed medication? Painkillers, yes. Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Uh, no thanks. Have you ever given a foot massage? No. Idc whose feet they are, I ain't touching 'em. What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? A plain hot dog and this soft pretzel twist they have that you dip in melted cheese. Amazing. Do you want to have a big family in the future? NO. I could NEVER handle that. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? No. Piercings, yay or nay? BIG ol' "yay." When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I remember my instant reaction was, "Did I have a nightmare?", because Girt wasn't beside me, and I'd been very serious about telling him if I did or showed signs of one coming, or even if he was just nervous about it, to sleep on the living room couch. I immediately felt fucking awful, thinking it happened, then I checked the time and was like "oh." It was close to when he must've left for work. In the last week, what’s the kindest thing that someone has done for you? alskjaklwjekjewr i know I won't Shut The Fuck Up about him since the hospital, but it was 100% the "absolutely gorgeous" comment I mentioned earlier. I just feel so goddamn ugly at all times, so for him to actually say that with such genuineness touched me so deeply. How did your night go last night? It was wonderful. What did you do last weekend? Get admitted to the hospital. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Only by two years. Who is the last person you saw? My mom, going into her room for bed. Who did you hug last? Tobey, for bringing me dinner. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you? No. Are you happy with how your life has turned out? I'm... getting there. There are things I will always think are unfair that will stick with me forever, but I mean, I think that's everyone. I am hoping so, so very deeply that leaving the hospital was the start to something great. Do you have any medical appointments coming up anytime soon? Yeah; I wanna say it's this Friday, when I go to see my primary care physician for a follow-up from the hospital. Do your nearest and dearest have any catchphrases/words they use a lot? Girt says "haiyaaa" when in any sort of playful/joking distress a lot. He watches too much Uncle Roger, ha ha. What was the highest place you’ve ever jumped from? I really don't know. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Yeah. Has anyone you know gotten mono? My older sis did when she was a teenager. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? At least once, yes. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? I hate them, a lot. Was the last person you kissed attractive? Literally the same thing that happened to Jason has happened to him, ha ha. I've never thought Girt was ugly, not at all, but I wasn't seriously physically attracted to him until recently. Apparently loving the person for the inside really can extend to the out. Do you think age is needed for maturity? Nope. Do you believe the future is predetermined? Not at all. That would be pretty boring. Ever been called babe? Yes. How old is your youngest sibling? She's nearly 24. What is the best quality in the last guy you kissed? His dedication to those he loves, probably. What do you usually do during a kiss? I mean, this depends. I'm not gonna do certain things I would in a passionate kiss in a brief and simple one. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? NO. I do NOT endorse meerkats as pets and never fucking will. Have you used Limewire before? Ha ha, of course. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? No. What are you most attracted to in the person of your interest? Y'all know I'm weak af when it comes to men's shoulders and that is the case here, ha ha.

Survey #532

“if i’ve gotta sin to see her again, then i’m gonna lie, lie, lie”

What does your town’s name begin with? "R." How many letters long is your last name? 7. A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park, or go to a concert? BOYYYYYY LET'S GO TO A CONCERT. How good is your memory? I literally forget many, many things in seconds. It is astonishing how bad a 26-year-old's memory is. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life? I mean, I think that's inevitable for anyone, one way or another. You think you can last in a relationship for six months? I've done that literally three times, and mind you, I have been in very few relationships. It's not hard. Be honest, do you miss your ex? None of them romantically anymore, no. Girt is all that matters to me now in that sense. Do you believe exes can be friends? Well duh. Absolutely not in all cases, but it's perfectly possible. I'm best friends with my last ex. Is your hair naturally straight? No, it's naturally a bit wavy. Have you kissed someone with the name beginning with J or B? With a "J," yes. Who’s the last person who you went out to eat with? My sisters, mom, and boyfriend on my birthday. How did you get one of your scars? Surgery. I don't have many scars that actually last long. Like, I get playful scratches from my cat a lot, but they're negligible. Were you single for your last birthday? No. Where is your favorite place to get fries? BOJANGLE'S. You have absolutely not lived 'til you have them. What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased? Shit, idr. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? I don't believe so? Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Girt. Are there any waterfalls nearby? No. :/ What was the last food item you ate? Tobey was kind enough that she wanted to bye me a "welcome home" meal, so she got me a burger and fries from Wendy's. What is your favorite gaming console? PS2 has the best games, imo. Have you kissed someone today? Well, it was past midnight, so I guess that counts. Do you have a strong opinion for or against Justin Bieber? I literally don't care. I don't like his music, but who cares if others do? Have you taken a painkiller today? No. Have you had a nap today? Yes; I really needed one 'cuz I was up late last night. Have you ever been to a baby shower? Yep, for my sister. Do you have a hyphenate name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown) I don't, but I do know others. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Three. Have you ever been camping in the wilderness? No. Ngl, I'd be scared to if it was a tent. Camper, I'd loveeeee that. What was the last candy you ate? Ummm not sure. How often do you eat Subway? Very rarely. Do you have gluten intolerance or anyone who does? Yep, at least three. Have you ever had a migraine? Yep. Absolute misery. Have you been awake before sunrise today? For literally just seconds when Girt's alarm went off for work. What's your favorite kind of tea? I stg there is an obsession in surveys to ask about coffee or tea, lol. I don't like any tea. Do you prefer mints or gum? Hm, varies. Have you been sleeping well lately? "Lately" would involve my hospital stay, in which case, NO. Their beds and pillows alike both feel like boulders. Popsicles or fudgeicles? The latter, for sure. Have you bought any bracelets recently? No. Do you use a belt normally? I never do. What do you put on your hot dogs? Just mustard and ketchup. How about on your tacos? I hate tacos. Do you like watermelon? No, it's too watery. What's the most adventurous thing you've done this week? *eyes emoji* What was the last drink you ordered at a restaurant? Coke. Do you remember your last dream? Awww, yes. Last night I dreamt I found the plushy Girt got me before we were even dating. It's probably with my other stuffed animals, but now I want it in my room. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I had a childhood cat named Eeyore. He was a GORGEOUS Maine Coon-looking cat. Sadly got run over by a car... What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? A nurse at the hospital was recommending I visit a town 45 minutes away for photography purposes. IT's a really pretty place, he showed me pictures! Do you remember what you were doing last night at 9PM? Girt and I were watching TV, getting ready to go to bed. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? Idk, I don't wear hats. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? It's been a long time, no clue. If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? No, that's a myth. Tell me about something within the last week that made you chuckle/giggle. kaljslkjqlwke while Tobey was here, in a relevant convo, I had a dumb moment and thought it was still February. It's the middle of fuckin' March, y'all. We lost it. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Ahaha, I got some scratches on some of Mom's Ozzy CDs because I played them so much when I got into his music. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering is really all that I like. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by, astonishly I know, Ozzy. It's a very motivational song. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yep, I like them, some friends do, and my dad reeeeaaaally does. What percentile of your class were you in? I can't remember what exactly number it was, but I know it was the very top, because I was in the ceremony for it. What forms of birth control have you used? Using Tri-Sprintex. I was briefly on another BC, but we don't talk about that one lmaooo. Oh, and through my teenage years, I was abstinent. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have literally zero clue what any popular songs are right now. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? Ugh, an ant. My finger. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita. Mom was confused by me ordering it, then I had to remind her I was 21 as of that day, lmaooo. What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? I don't know. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. What is your favorite cover song? "Zombie," originally by The Cranberries, but I prefer Bad Wolves' version. I do enjoy the original too, though. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? You'd have to look up a pilonidal cyst yourself and tell me that wasn't a weird-ass surgery, lmao. Getting it drained was more awkward though, seeing as I was conscious. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? Ugh, this is so hard. Most recently, my heart fuckin' broke watching the news at the hospital when they were covering the war in Ukraine; there are just so, so many people fleeing, and there was such a painful clip of a baby sobbing in its mother's arms. And I should mention, this was outside. War is just so goddamn barbaric. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Giant motherfuckin' squid. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Y'all really want an essay???? What do you think of when you look at the stars? I normally feel very peaceful and relaxed by the reminder of just how small we really are in an endless universe. Our problems and everything are, truly, just drops in the ocean. I also really enjoy the reminder that we are not gods or anything to be arrogant about. Everything about us, we're just so small. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? I promised Teddy his ashes would go among wolves, hopefully in Yellowstone. What do you think is the most important thing in this life? Love, and I don't only mean romantic. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Literally never. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? No. It's not like I go anywhere. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Honey Nut Cheerios, Cheerios, and Kix. Who is your favorite person to text? Really, the only person I text anymore is my mom. I talk to almost everyone else via Discord. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you enjoy Mario games? I'll play 'em without complaint with others, but I don't seek them out myself. Not my type. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft, though I've been playing it very little lately. Who was last to cook for you? Ma made sauasage and biscuits this morning. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? That is a dream. Caves are incredibly interesting to me. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Avoid him and try to avoid an anxiety attack. How often do you have friends over to your house? Semi-frequently, I'd say. Girt is mostly the only one who visits, but Tobey does too now and again. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? I'm not certain. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Er, yes. Welcome to my nightmares/terrors. Did your grandparents teach you anything? No, I never knew 'em. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, I like it. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy tech in the past. Is there anything unusual about your house? Hm... not really. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Not sure. Do you snore when you sleep? No, unusual for someone with sleep apnea.