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thecandywrites · 2 years

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The Switch Chapter 12

Oh My God. Well, in classic ADHD fashion. I had this. And then I got distracted, with, like 2 rewrites, an update on a story I had before I ever wrote this one and like I have like 7852709 other WIPs and story ideas and story lines that I would LOVE to move onto too. But none of it can go until I just FINISH THIS FIRST. Because I HAVE PLANS and plot twists and there's still more to this rollercoaster of a ride of story, I just have to get through the technical difficulties which are WRITERS BLOCK of how I'm going to get from here at point A to point B. But once I get to point B, it'll take off again.

So, after...way too long, here is chapter 12

The Switch

Chapter 12

Once everyone came to drop off their housewarming gifts, they soon left again to give you privacy to continue with the cleanse. Then Mildred came back with potpourri and several more things in large sacks on special carts with wheels she used the rather crude but efficient elevators to get up to the floor and take to your room before she started to move things into the room, with Kragan’s, Saffiro’s and Samantha’s help. But then not long after, that’s when the deliveries started to come pouring in- furniture, silk screens on special dividers to section off sections of the apartment and you had to take refuge in the toilet in the hallway to not disturb the movers trying to move things into the rooms while also not interrupting the cleanse. Which you were sure you were passing things you had eaten as a child since this cleanse was so thorough.

All manner of things were delivered. A new mattress, down pillows, sets of sheets and bedding, furniture and loads of other household supplies. And of course foods to start to make the broths for the soups that you’d be eating for the foreseeable future that Mildred and Samantha went ahead and started to prepare while Kragan and Saffiro and the others moved things around in the rooms which Mildred really appreciated.

All while Samantha and Saffiro never seemed to be more than an arm’s length away from each other which Mildred found amusing. And once you had finished with the first wave of the cleanse and came back to the room, you quickly noticed and found it amusing too. Now that you weren’t jealous that Samantha would be moving onto Kragan after your eventual death. But as a prospect for Saffiro? She seemed much more agreeable. But you also knew her well enough that she wouldn’t be putting up with Solowardian high society well, not without turning it up on its head or keeping out of it all together. But you also knew Saffiro well enough that you could see his instantaneous smitten state with her.

Mildred, even though she had noticed, was much more concerned about you and making sure you would be “set up proper” in the room. And after the initial bowel movement, you were simply very thirsty and wanted chilled water with slices of citrus and mint as even more special food preparation items and ingredients and utensils started to be delivered.

“What is this? This isn’t wheat flour.” You noted when the huge sacks of special flour were delivered to the room with oriental writing on them.

“It’s rice and rice flour. Because you should stay away from too much wheat because while you should still have bread, it needs to be refined white flour- not wheat for the first two to three weeks and then it can be slowly reintroduced and even then- in things like pasta, or small buns, preferably stuffed with meats and things. Having wheat when it’s fried in oil isn’t good for you. But in the market, Miss Sammy showed us a group of people who settled there from the Orient. They make steamed rice bread buns that are just like soft bread, but will be much nicer on your gut. And it shouldn’t taste too different to you. Or if it does, not too much to be off putting because you’ve been gaining a more world traveled palette like Sir Kragan has. And while we were in the market, we got to try quite a bit of it and it’s quite good. When you are up to it, we can go and you can try it and I’ll try to learn the recipes to make them for you. But that being said, we did get you some varieties of the different steamed buns and filled dumplings.” Mildred explained as she handed you a special steel container that had special layers in it, each with its own steamed buns and dumplings, all made from rice and rice flour before you sat down at the table with Kragan and openned it up and were delighted to see so many layers of dumplings and buns all contained within the thing before Kragan walked you through how to use chopsticks to pick them all up to help you eat them.

“Oh. Well Yekmeni had a lot of rice dishes. I like rice. Especially the Byrianni style.” You noted as you looked at the metal thing and appreciated its design as the scents were surprisingly appetizing.

“And they can make noodles and pasta out of rice flour too, because you can still have the pasta you are used to, we just have to be careful about creamy sauces and cheese. But apparently most of the Orientals rarely have cheese and that much dairy in their diet, which is part of the low residue part. We just have to be careful of the vegetables because you can’t have too much roughage in your diet. No seeds, no nuts, nothing too fibrous, like beans, lentils, potatoes, that kind of thing. Lots of super refined flour breads, meats, some oils and fats now that your gallbladder can take them. But that also means you have to be careful of fruits. Like berries and watermelon, but the other melons like cantaloupes, muskmelon and honeydew melon should be ok in small portions. But figs, dates, prunes, dried apricots and other dried fruits should be avoided for the next month, and fresh fruits and cooked fruits should be ok, so surprisingly, pies like apple pie or peach pie or pear tartes should be ok, as should citrus.” Mildred said as she looked over her copied lists of foods you could have and foods to avoid while giving you the originals.

“But the great thing about the western Europa pasta is that instead of adding cream, you can add bread crumbs, that will give creaminess without cream and if you use that huge arborio rice, granted risotto is a labor intensive dish, but again, if you stir it vigorously, it’ll give the taste of cream without having any cream at all, it’s just broth and rice. Simple and easier to digest. And once you can have wheat pasta or oats or barely and things like that, the soups should be awesome instead of just having meat and broth.” Sammy volunteered cheerfully.

“You are literally in the one city in the world where we have cooks from all over the world, the whole of the supersphere- all under one roof. And I know this diet looks like you’re giving up everything you love, but I promise you, we will find work arounds and this just means you can find new favorite foods.” Sammy added as she had put down several other tins of the same things for the five of you to sit down and eat since Saffiro and Kragan had insisted she stay to do so.

You looked at the list and sighed when you saw all your favorite foods on the list that were foods to avoid. You loved all things dairy. You loved berries, you loved berried fry pies the most. You loved cheesecake as your favorite dessert. You loved ice cream, and frozen custard the most. You loved fried cheese around meats too. You loved fried just about everything. And you loved melons of all kinds. Especially a really good sweet watermelon.

“Hey Samantha, Kragan said you’re really good with books.” You began as you all dug into the food.

“Nothing compared to what I’ve heard Kragan and Saffiro praise of you.” Samantha returned.

“They’re biased.” You smiled with a dissmissive waive.

“But Kragan and I are starting a luxury skyship cruise line in The Contessina Project. And because you have experience with hosting nobility here at Souja Inn along with merchants of all kinds and because you help run the Inn side of the tavern, that gives you quite a bit of experience and a skill set and I’d love to have at the very least your invaluable input on the project. And if you’d oblige me to help me find the right staff for it because in Fitsdale, I’d want to partner with Souja Tavern so that tourists can stay here while their ships get resupplied. And once I can recover, if I could talk to the owners, I’d like to talk about having a wing of suites for potential guests for the line to stay here and have the same wonderful experience here that others have.” You proposed to her as she lit up excitedly.

“I would love to help you with that. I think that’s awesome. We are actually going to be rebuilding a wing here in just a couple of months during our off-season. If you wanted to- you could invest in the rebuild and you could have a say so in how they’re built and laid out and what materials you want and we can even get the glass makers to put your Contessina Ship logos in the stained glass of the windows.” Samantha suggested.

“I love that idea!” You beamed happily before Samantha and yourself began to bounce ideas off of each other as Kragan simply grinned and got your journal out along with his own while Saffiro offered a new one of his own to Samantha to use to write down the ideas down as they were being discussed as Saffiro was exceedingly happy that Sammy was not only a sweetheart but just as bright, intelligent and practical as you were but was also exceptionally pretty herself.

Then Ainsley arrived with her family in tow.

“Hey, oh wow! You guys got moved in huh?” Ainsley asked as she and her children and her husband came into the room to see everything already moved in and situated.

“Well I came to offer this.” She held out a box that had a bunch of scented candles in it along with a jar of special lotion and a case of the softest toilet paper you had ever touched in your life.

“I know you’re going to feel like you’re crapping your guts out for the next day or two and it’ll smell awful, so that’s what the candles are for. The lotion is to keep you from getting any hemorrhoids while you do so. So you just get a smear of the lotion on the toilet paper and then wipe it again to get clean and you should be fine.” Ainsley admitted as she knelt on the other side of you and murmured that to you quietly.

“Where did you get this toilet paper?” You asked her as you held up the roll, cut in such a way that the edges were clean but the layers of the multiple plied super soft tissue paper could be seen.

“Souja Papier. Which makes all manner of paper. It’s the top of the line ultra soft kind- second only to the toilet paper in Dorierra, or so we’ve been told. Every merchant that comes through gets it by the case to take home. But it is also should be only a quarter of the price of the toilet paper that comes out of Dorierra, or so we’ve heard from suitors that have traveled to and from there to get a bride. But compared to the other toilet papers it is still pretty expensive but that’s only because you’re investing in very good quality.” Ainsley answered.

“Dearest…” You began as you turned your head over to Kragan who was about to eat a dumpling and paused to answer you before you could finish your sentence.

“Yup, Souja Papier ultra soft toilet paper for the Contessina Ships, got it.” Kragan guessed as you beamed happily because he knew you well enough he could already tell where your train of thought had led to which brought an adoring smile to Saffiro's Mildred's and Samantha’s faces to see it before Saffiro reached over and felt it too.

“Ooh, I’m going to have to get a case of it for home and my room.” Saffiro appreciated it.

“I could have used this a few hours ago.” You admitted since you had to use the bathroom in the hall while the movers were in your room, Mildred’s room and Saffiro’s room.

“Well, sorry, I meant to come earlier but I just got off work myself because I ran late with my other appointments today. But these should help.” She offered.

“Thank you.” You thanked them as you hugged them tight.

“So this is my husband Annick, who goes by Nick and this is our daughter Nadia and this is….” Ainsely introduced her other children.

“How have you been? Your mouth getting you into any more trouble lately?” Kragan teased as he had gotten up and hugged Nick when he and his family came in and knew all thier kids by name as they did the same to him calling him "uncle Captain Kragan" which you thought was utterly adorable.

“No, he’s been good.” Ainsley answered for him as you looked questioningly to Kragan when Kragan had said that to Nick.

“When we sailed on the Cromwell together, his mouth got us into more trouble than we could get ourselves out of, on several occasions.” Kragan insisted.

“Well we learned valuable lessons, don’t bet against the greenhorns to get out of scrubbing the deck after being in port for three weeks and the ship was covered in seagull shit.” Nick answered.

“Or the barnacles.” Kragan recalled.

“And the barnacles, those damned things.” Nick shuddered at the memory.

“Well actually we learned in Wakanear that the mermaid population there love barnacles the way we love other seafood too and usually remove them from their whale friends which was why the pirate ships never had any barnacles and could sail faster than other ships in the past. And now that Wakanear is a Yekmenian province, we’re gonna be running all the Salgria ships through there from now on. Even if it’s just a two to four times a year visit. Especially the northern vessels that get them the most just to get the cleaning service the merfolk provide in removing them so we don't have to dry dock them.” Kragan volunteered.

“Really? The merfolk communicate with dry landers there? And not in the whole- "siren song to your death" kind of way?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, Princess Maisarra of Wakanear has a special relationship with them and she swims with them regularly and they talk quite a bit. Even Yekmeni has a special relationship with their merfolk population. And of course all mouras do since mouras and merfolk came from the same home world and share a root language since the species evolved side by side.” You added.

“Oh, speaking of which, I should probably call Sarah and Audrey and Yana….” You remembered.

“Nope, I already did that, they’re packing up and should be here tomorrow. Yana is bringing Zirvush fruit, which is like a cherry, and Agnes said it should be really good for your diet. And Yana swears that it’s both delicious and nutritious yet gentle on an upset stomach. Audrey is of course bringing adani fruits and seasonings and spices and another Messengerari for us to use here so we can keep in touch and not have to continually use the common ones in the squares. And Sarah is bringing Wakanear coconuts by the case because if you’re pregnant, and already nauseated and dealing with morning sickness, coconut water will be really helpful. And she’s bringing acai and avocados and the other tropical fruits that shouldn’t have too many seeds or too much fiber for your diet and of course they are also bringing a moura healer to heal everything else.” Kragan supplied.

“Aw, they don’t have to trouble themselves just for me.” You sighed.

“You’re their friend. They wanted to come and help. Audrey is especially sorry she didn’t fly you to a colony and to a healer herself while you were in Yekmeni last. So now, she’s bringing one to you. That, and she’s having a hard time getting Millie to decide on finishes for her ship because her tastes change with the tastes of the Solowardian court almost daily.” Kragan insisted.

“Oh gosh, what color are they on now?” You asked.

“Purple.” Saffiro supplied in a deadpan tone and a tired sigh as you rolled your eyes and bit into your soup dumpling and then took a tentative sip before an explosion of flavors seemed to bloom on your tongue.

“And it’ll change a dozen more times between now and when that ship should be done.” You muttered between careful bites of the surprisingly hot soup dumpling.

“Well we’ll get out of your hair so you can eat dinner. Don’t worry about anything Tessa, we got you. You’re part of the Souja family now. And we take care of our own.” Ainsely insisted which was exactly what Nora and everyone else had insisted earlier.

“Thank you for welcoming me into it.” You thanked them before they saw themselves out as you were happy to simply sit down at the table with Kragan on one side of you with Mildred sitting at the head of the table with Saffiro and Samantha sitting across from you as you appreciated how well they looked together and their so not subtle looks to each other as you gave Kragan’s knee an appreciative squeeze under the table and a meaningful look.

“This is really good.” You appreciated about the food.

“It is, I thought it smelled odd at first but the more you eat it, the more you like it.” Saffiro appreciated as Samantha also helped him learn how to eat with chopsticks as she had already done with Mildred.

After you had eaten your fill, it was time for another round on the toilet as Mildred, Saffiro and Samantha quickly took their leave to give you some more privacy as Kragan was already lighting up every candle that was in that box for the inevitable smell that was sure to follow.

“They make a cute couple.” You noted as you sat down and felt like you pissed your body weight as it had never smelled so horrible before. But your kidneys were releasing every toxin that had been built up previously. So of course it would smell like liquid death.

“Yeah they do. But I know Sammy, she would hate Solowards. She’s a Souja, Souja’s rarely leave Fitsdale.” Kragan appraised.

“Maybe she’d take the place by storm and turn it on its head.” You shrugged.

“Nah, the only way she would ever come, is if she could keep her independence which Solowards doesn’t give to it’s women with primogeniture and all that. And you said that women can’t own property. Which Sammy has in her own right. She’d never give it up.” Kragan predicted.

“How good is she with accounting books?” You asked him.

“She’s pretty good, granted not as good as you, but she’s pretty good. She does a lot for the Inn side of Souja Tavern.” Kragan answered before you grinned mischievously.

“Oh no, I know that grin, what you got cooking up?” Kragan asked as he braved the stench and knelt between your feet in front of you as you were still sitting on the toilet.

“Well I’m thinking- that if a relationship were to bloom and blossom between them, I think I know a way to even the odds in her favor.” You prompted.

“I know Saffiro. He doesn’t like girls easily. His bar is already almost impossibly high. But Samantha is everything he’s never realized he needs. He needs a strong woman to support him and his heavy burdens. Samantha is strong. And Solowards needs to change. I think if the relationship blossoms and blooms, and her and I can see eye to eye on The Contessina Project. And we can agree on what needs to happen and how it needs to work. And I can trust her with it. I could always hire her to run the Contessina Skyport. But only if she can keep that job and keep all her income from it as her own and authority and control. And therefore it wouldn’t matter if Saffiro could make her a Duchess, she’d be independent yet they could help each other and she’d be strong enough to slap my father’s greedy hands off of it. But yet, still keep it in the family in a way. Do you think she’d go for that? As far as I’m concerned, she’s an heiress to the Souja Dynasty of the great and awesome Fitsdale. Which is more impressive than the capital of Solowards which is Varidhe. And if I can explain that I hired her because of her intellect and her work ethic and qualifications and aptitude but that I only trust her and her alone to run things for me in Solowards, much less Fitsdale. And that Solowards can’t have her or our business with its current unfair laws because I don’t trust them to not screw her or us over.” You proposed.

“Well then lets see where that relationship goes. But that’s a big vote of confidence in Sammy and your opinion in her.” Kragan praised as you finally finished and wiped and quickly washed your hands before you got ready to go to bed early because it had been a very big day and all you wanted was rest.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Kragan asked once you both settled into the bed.

“Please tell me it has nothing to do with the stench in the room?” You pleaded as you felt the stench of what you passed was horrific, no matter how many scented candles you had burned and what incense you had burning too. All you could smell was a rotting corpse from the pure evil that had left your bowels and bladder had flushed from your kidneys and liver.

“No.” Kragan reassured you.

“Sure, shoot.” You answered as you laid in bed in the fetal position with Kragan spooning you before you felt Kragan take a deep breath and then hesitate to ask what he wanted to ask which made you frown before you rolled over in his embrace.

“What is it?” You asked him as you looked up at him in the darkness of the room, only lit up with small flickers from the candles and the incense censors and the low glow of flames and embers in the fireplace from the small fire burning in there.

“Maybe it’s not the best time to talk about this, you’ve had a really hard day, we should probably talk about it when you’re recovered.” Kragan noted.

“Not if it will keep you from resting tonight. No more secrets, remember? What’s troubling you?” You asked as you looked into those gorgeous golden yellow eyes that still seemed to almost glow in the low light.

“I know you love me now, but at what point did it turn from manipulating me into loving you and you manipulating yourself into loving me and you actually loving me?” Kragan asked.

“Ah, I see why you would want me to rest and recover before you would ask me this and yeah, I can see why that would keep you awake.” You noted with a small but accepting grin before you rolled over and got the stack of letters you had written to your loved ones that Mildred had slipped into the bedside drawer to do with as you pleased, although the one you wrote to her, would be something she would cherish for the rest of her life. You used the low light from the fireplace to flip through them to find the letter addressed to him.

“Here, read this. It’ll answer that and many other questions you could have.” You offered as you handed him the letter before you put the others back and rolled back into his chest and used his arm as your pillow to get comfortable. He used his enhanced vision even in this lower light to open it up and read its many pages, every once in a while then almost constantly the more into it he read- he petted down your head and back and pressing kisses into the crown of your head as you could hear and feel him start to get choked up as he read it.

"My Dearest, Most Beloved Husband, Kragan.

I hope that this letter finds you in good health and I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope Salgria Shipping can take the world by storm and that The Contessina Ships are also a great success. But most of all, I hope you can forgive me and especially Mildred and the rest of my family for what we have done to you.

You see, only a couple of days before your offer of marriage came to my father, I had been diagnosed with very advanced side sickness and cancer that was terminal and inoperable and was given only weeks, to maybe a few months, but no more than a year left to live. That my belly would swell as if I was with child, but it would not be with a child, but rather, the tumor growing in size and from there, I would be mere days or hours from death. My entire family took the news very hard but kept such a diagnosis secret to save themselves from the runiation- since such news could cause. Especially since it would be seen as a family genetic defect, rather than a single member’s unfortunate ailment that had no cause and no cure. It was also kept secret so that the rumor mills and harmful gossip because such news threatened to destroy the family’s reputation and standing in society and business. The healers in Dorierra offered to try to cure me but for a sum of a million gold bullion. A sum that even if my father and every member of my family sold everything we had, could never hope to come up with even a small fraction of such a sum. Without my knowledge, my father agreed to your proposal simply to acquire as much funds as possible to pit them in the investments market, hoping by a miracle to even get up to a quarter or up to half such a sum.

However, when Millie was informed of the betrothal, she threw a fit. And threatened to throw herself from the roof rather than marry you. She was the season’s Diamond of the First Water- meaning, aside from Solowardian Royalty, she was High Society’s most coveted bride and had already gotten dozens of betrothals in from every other gentleman in high society but none of them had the handsome offer you did. When Millie was informed of her betrothal to you, she came bursting into my rooms as I was already into my final confinement, preparing myself for my inevitable demise and my strength was growing less and less from one moment to the next. To the point I could not be out of bed for more than an hour without fatigue setting in and the pain from this side-sickness and cancer was excruciating if anything more than a shift were to touch my skin.

But upon hearing Millie’s recounting of the events, I asked for her help to bring me to my father’s study since my father had refused to come into my rooms after my initial diagnosis. Especially since he had already thrown himself into making as much money as he could for a cure because he refused to accept that I would die before he could finance a cure. But I simply took his absence and withdrawal as his refusal to accept my perceived defeat and failure to be his first and greatest pawn in his well orchestrated play for fame, fortune and power.

Once I had my father read your proposal, I must admit, I too was shocked. But with my terminal diagnosis, Ron’s bitter resentment and extreme prejudice against me and yet his already high and lofty standards that he would demand of me once I would marry him, the answer seemed obvious. So I suggested to my father to switch Millie and I in our betrothals. Ron had never met Millie before in his life and had not seen or gotten a chance to know her or possibly reject her yet. And if Millie had already decided against you based on nothing more than your kind and occupation. Then we both stood a better chance and meeting and making a good first impression with each other's betrothed instead since there was nothing in either one other than a business formality that our fathers had already agreed on without our input or consent. Millie of course was happy to get the second greatest groom in society besides our own brother Saffiro. And I was relieved to finally get a chance at a fresh new start, even if it was only for a short time. I instructed my father to tell the doctors to make up a believable lie about a horse accident that the Count and Countess Lavine would accept and most importantly Ron would accept and that would readily excuse my need for “medicine”to you. Which really was a concoction of poison meant to keep me energized, appearing healthy and strong but mask my true state of health and my other symptons of my terminal illnesses along with warding off pregnancy so that when the illness would finally run it’s course, my life and my life alone would be claimed, and no other, for even that was a burden too heavy for me to carry.

My betrothal to Roncharles always hinged on me producing two male heirs within the first two years of marriage. And your betrothal never mentioned hiers or a time table at all. So behind Ron’s back, my father added 5,000 gold bouillon to Millie’s dowry and Senior Count Lavine accepted it. However, to induce Roncharles to accept Millie, everything was done to make Millie the most exquisite beauty possible and hopefully so great a beauty that Ron could never hope to resist. Mostly because Ron and Millie had never met before that night at the ball. Because every time I took Millie with me to visit the Lavines, Ron “conveniently” suddenly went on a hunt and refused to enter the house until I had left it first, much to his parent’s embarrassment and chagrin.

However, in preparing myself for that ball, I had been informed by my brothers and father of your nature and personality and what approaches would work best. And when I wrote to you and you stonewalled me, I knew I was already fighting one losing battle and I did not wish to enter into another, especially at the same time. So that balcony was set up specifically by myself and my mother to make our first encounter as unintimidating, nonthreatening, and comfortable as possible. It was all done with calculated precision before you ever took your first step off that carriage at the ball. But while Roncharles was given the illusion of free choice. I knew you were too intelligent to fall for such a ploy and would readily see through the ruse. So I was determined to simply present as much of myself as you would let me reveal and let you make up your own mind about me one way or another. If you decided against me, I insisted to my father that I had already spent the last 18 years of my life being betrothed to a man who hated me. And if I was going to die in less than a few months, I refused to spend another moment in those circumstances again by forcing a betrothal onto yet another unwilling groom. And that if you refused me, you could claim any reason you wanted to refuse me, and that reason would be accepted and your dowry for your hand in marriage would be returned to you, no further questions asked. But even if all I could ever hope to be was your friend, then that was what I was going to be content with.

Ron came into that ball and took one look at Millie, dressed up in the highest quality and most ludicrously lavish gown and accessories and decked out in more jewels than all of my jewelry in my jewelry box combined. None of it paste, all of it real. All glitter and glow. Even makeup made of crushed pearls and gold and silver dust and even diamond dust was applied to crushed flower petals and butters and balms to her skin to make her look utterly ethereal. She was made up to look like a Crown Princess and he bought into her illusion- in entirety- “lock, stock and barrel,” as you might say. He was immediately smitten and enraptured with her and she with him. And it happened only moments before you came into that ball. I was terrified he would take one look at her and dismiss her as quickly as he had me, or, heaven forbid, take one look at me all grown up and want to switch back. But instead, the moment it was evident that he was taken with her, the rest of his family and mine all breathed a collective sigh of relief, myself doing so the most. His father and mine both gave each other the nod of approval and agreement that the illusion of Ron choosing Millie of his own free will was a success. And I was told at the end of the night that once he saw her for the first time, he had no eyes for any other. Which was again, a great relief. And for him to propose the very next morning was the greatest relief of all. Because I knew that at least for the present, that she would do everything my father had always hoped I would do. And she would be happy and content and at the very least, taken care of while not exhausting my parent’s finances even more than she already had in setting up her own illusion of the perfect bride that even the brides of Dorierra would be hard pressed to compete with. Which is, sadly, all that Millie has ever wanted for herself.

But then it was time for me to do the same with you but taking the absolute opposite approach. Instead of dazzling, I had to be more "drab" so as not to intimidate you and reinforce the inferred chasim of our social standings by Solowardian standards which was honestly a relief since I am, by nature much more reserved and discrete. Instead of perfect poise, perfect manners and layers of pleasantries and formalities, I needed to be at ease to put you at ease and embrace informality and be honest and frank without being blunt and offending so that you could be relaxed and wouldn't feel pressured or persuaded or forced into this becuase I had already heard that your parents were practically dragging you into this kicking and screaming the way Roncharles had been all his life. But instead of rebelling against it because I was not his ideal. You were rebelling because I was a stranger and thought I felt the way Millie did, without actually giving me the chance to tell you myself how I felt about it. But all of that changed the moment you came into that ball looking like a masculine version of a damsel in distress and a mighty eagle in the silken binds of peacock feathers. I wanted nothing more than to save you from your discomfort and set you free from such constraints.

The reason I felt that way was because I very vividly remembered when I was presented at the Queen’s court at 18 and I felt the exact same way you did. Every set of eyes of everyone in Soloward’s high society were on me. Looking me up and down and weighing and measuring me with just a glance. And while my mother is a Duchess and one of the leaders of Solowardian high society, even she could not save me from the Queen’s scrutiny or the scrutiny of her daughters, the Princesses. Princess Frangellica, upon watching me being presented- said that ‘it was a good thing I was already betrothed because had I not been, I surely would have died an old maid with only my fat belly to keep me company’ and the snickers among the Queen and the other Princesses soon infected the entire courtroom. And from then on, I was on a very strict diet and shoved into the tightest of corsets at social events, but even then, that first impression was impossible for me to shake or improve from.

But even with that history, I was terrified that you would take one look at me and judge me the same way they and Roncharles had done in the past. But I could not show my feelings or fears on my face or in my words, least offending you and fucking up all the hard work I and my family had already done and was already in the middle of doing.

Because at that point, my family already had plans for your family so that you and I could make “our escape”. Gwendolyn was tasked with taking care of your sisters, Saffiro was tasked with taking care of your other brothers and my little siblings were urged to take your youngest siblings up to the nursery to play during the ball, which Mildred herself oversaw.

That balcony’s table was filled with your favorite foods, which your mother had already provided myself and my mother the lists and recipes and the seating arrangement was set in such a way so that when and if you sat down, depending on where you sat, would tell me exactly how much work I had to do to prove the benefits of the match. But when you sat at the chair closest to the couch, it gave me hope that perhaps I had a fighting chance of at least becoming your friend.

But that was the last of the manipulations.

Because the moment you opened your mouth and blurted out ‘aren’t you angry about all of this?’. It was you who won me over. But I must admit, I did answer with a lie. I was angry. I was angry that I got cheated out of a life I had prepared for my entire life up to that point. I was angry that I had lived my life in so much fear of making the smallest of missteps, that I would be sure to fall. I was angry that I had spent my life being betrothed to a man who hated me to the core and would have to live in a society that only tolerated my person only because of my family and connections. I was angry that I lived in a society that did such injustice to every woman within its society. I was angry that I had never once been able to enjoy a day of my life or a meal in full and that it took a terminal illness to release me from the biggest moron on the supersphere. I was angry that everything I had ever done up to that point was for naught.

But most of all, I was angry at Fate itself for demanding my life so soon, that only in its last moments, would it give me the love of my life to enjoy the precious but few moments I had left- with you. And from there, I was furious that I could never live the life with you that I wanted to. Because in my heart of hearts I have loved you. In my wildest of fantasies- I have grown old with you, wiser with you, more in love with you every moment after than any moment before. I would have had as large of a family as my body would have otherwise been able to bear. I wouldn’t have cared if we only had a penny and a single row boat to our names and only the clothes on our backs. But just for the chance to be together, I would have given anything. And have given everything. Even if I have to give the last of my life, just so that the latest and greatest idea you’ve ever had is to take flight. I would have loved to do nothing more than to soar in the clouds with you. To feel the crisp air in my lungs, a cloud’s gentle caress on one cheek and your hand on the other. I have loved you, heart, mind and soul. And I’m so sorry that our time together must be cut short just as we were gaining speed and height and momentum.

But if you ever wonder if any or all of it was real, or imagined, or manipulated, please, believe me, our love was real, and genuine. And that other than the circumstances of our first meeting being manipulated to put you at ease, I never had to manipulate you personally any further. All I did was present myself to you and give you the chance to either accept me or deny me as I was. No other pretense or any other stupid bullshit. I was never a charlatan.

Other than keeping my true diagnosis from you for fear you would retaliate against my family, I have otherwise done my best to be honest and transparent with you. Because you were never a fool, not even for love, even when I was.

And while I will always feel guilty that you may look at this situation and feel you were taken for a fool. Hopefully, your latest dream inspired by your own true love for me, will make it back to you at least a hundred fold. And watching you soar cloud high in spirit has only lifted mine for the last time from even the depths of the grave. And I can only hope that if there is an afterlife, or a chance to be reincarnated- that we find each other again. But that we get to enjoy a full life together then, for twice as long as what has been denied to us this time around.

My greatest regret in life, has not been feeling like I’ve been cheated out of a fairytale romance with my soul mate, for which- such a wound is beyond words. But it is otherwise- not being brave enough to tell you the truth with my own lips and face to face. You have given me chance after chance and opportunity after opportunity to tell you, and like a famous writer once said- “I was in the middle before I realized I had begun.”

I should have told you that first night on that balcony. I should have told you that night as we were sitting under the stars hand in hand. I should have told you before you ever proposed. I should have told you before we said our wedding vows. And at the very least on our wedding night. But while my guilt has been eating away at me all along, I have been otherwise blissfully happy thanks to you. At least, I can say, with confidence, that I have lived up to my marriage vows to you. I have loved you, truly- with my whole heart and soul and mind. I have been wholly and completely devoted to you. I have never once been unfaithful or disloyal to you. I have never looked at any other with want or lust in my eyes after my eyes got the privilege to behold you. For it was for you and you alone that my heart beat for - after our engagement. And while I'm sorry our courtship was rushed, for not having much time left to live, it had to be so that I could enjoy what few precious moments I could with you. And after you unveiled the greatest wedding present in history in the form of a ship in my own name. Of which is an honor I never could have prepared myself to receive. I only wished to help it and you and every other amazing and incredible idea you have- or that we have had- become a reality. And I only hope that for such a great gift and service you have bestowed upon me, I have returned others to you in kind. And with such a diagnosis, knowing that death is coming for me, I could never in good conscience take any other's life to the grave but my own. Which is why I have done my best to ward off pregnancy. For the cost of my life is already too high a price for you to pay, I would never ask for the precious life of an unborn child to be paid with it.

I didn’t want my diagnosis and my true health condition to kill those precious gifts before they could ever be realized or come to fruition. I didn’t want you to bankrupt yourself or your family trying to save a lost cause. Or pay any more on my behalf than you already had. Because while you feel you simply paid for the privledge to court me, I feel you paid a ransom for death’s prisoner, but for a time much shorter than what you were owed.

You have been cheated my love. You have been cheated out of decades of time. You have been cheated out of money that was hard earned. You have been cheated out of happiness. You have been cheated out of so many great and wonderful things. And I would have loved nothing more than to offer up the world on a platter for your pleasure and taking. I would have been so happy to live my life beside you. I would have been so happy getting you the justice you deserve. I would have been happy to smear our happiness and success into Solowardian’s High Society’s faces. And I would have cheered as you continue to show the world just what you’re capable of and just how high you can soar. So far above the fray, that entire nations are mere specks on the vast surface of the supersphere. And I would have loved for you to show me a world where the sun never sets and the days are as beautiful as they were showed in the great works of art. And in theory- could never end if you don’t want them to.

I would have loved to see how Salgria Shipping became an even bigger empire than even Dorierra. I would have loved to see The Contessina Ships bring you just as much joy and pride as I have, and as much pride and joy as you have brought me for the simple but divine right and privilege I’ve had to be your wife. Because you have clothed me in love, respect and dignity just as much as any other ever could have regal splendor, glittering jewels and gold. For what are such worthless things compared to the priceless? Especially when such physical endowments pale in comparison to the intangible, but perfect benfaction you have given me. You have loved me to the point of invention. A point I never knew possible before I met you. You have given a sick and dying girl, the chance to go on one last adventure before the grave could claim her so that such things were not just stories in books, but experiences and cherished memories, fully realized.

It was the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through watching you sail away from your childhood home, you, and the ship you were on- shrinking down until my eyes could not distinguish it in the sky, knowing that it was the last time I would see you face to face. I sat the grass, it’s blades clutched between my weakening fingers wishing I had the wings of a bird to fly away with you, but feeling so tired and weak, I could barely stand. Wishing I had the courage to tell you the truth, and selfishly ask for you to stay so that the last things my eyes would ever see while on this side of the grave- would be your perfectly handsome face, the face of the one person I have loved more than all others. And a sight I never would have gotten bored or tired of. A face I have been waiting my whole life to finally see and know that your heart and soul were the perfect match and counterpart to my own, no matter the body such things possessed. I would have loved nothing more than to see all the little bits of yourself mix with all the little bits of myself in any and every child we possibly could have ever had. I would have even adopted any child you would have ever had with any other. Because they were all part of you and I have loved you wholly and completely. And if those children were made in love, they would be kept in love and comfort all the same. It is a right every child should have- to be loved by the parents who made them.

Now My Love, I am sadly running out of paper. Because I could go on for hundreds of thousands of pages of all the ways I have loved you and the life I wish I could have led with you. But I must be mindful of how much time and energy I have left. And I must, unfortunately use it wisely. So if I may leave some last advice for you. Please, head what you can.

First I ask is that you give yourself time to fully grieve me. And while in the beginning of our courtship, I mistakenly thought that while you fell in lust with me in such a short amount of time, it was easy to call lust 'love' when it would only be fated to last for a blink of time. And I thought that you would be quick to recover from me and do so pretty easily. And that in only weeks or months, you would weather the storm of grief in only weeks or months. Oh how wrong I was. I now know that that is not the case. We fell so hard in love with each other and so fast and so soundly, only Fate could be attributed to the almost instantaneous state of our relationship. And while there has been a healthy amount of lust, it didn’t hold a candle to love that blossomed and bloomed between us- right before our eyes. And for such a glorious and beautiful flower, it’s a shame it will only bloom for such a short time. Fate, for dealing me such a heavy, fatal blow, it at least had the decency to bring us together and not getting in the way of us uniting faster than we naturally could. I’m so happy that at least we got to be together, even for as short of a time that did.

Please, do not let regret eat away at you the way it has me. And do not look back and mentally kick yourself for not seeing the signs that I was much more gravely ill than I let on that I intentionally buried and covered over and hid from you. The regret has been a burden that I only hope I have been able to bear it for both of our sakes. Also, please, do not give up on The Contessina Project. Rename if you must. But it is the future of the Supersphere and it will be your greatest triumph yet. Do not cut it off at the knees just because it’s namesake is no longer with you. Trust Audrey with it. She will see to it, that it is done correctly and I trust her to do right by you with it. And while she was aghast at the price Dorierra asked to cure me. She too sensed the severity of my sickness, and could not risk her own life or kingdom or the lives of her friends to try to cure me. Even she and Dr. Hayati sensed the severity and the terminal nature of my illness. And even they knew it was a lost cause. And I hold no ill will against them for sensing the truth. And while the healing stones bought us only a month or two more of time. Even they had limits. And Audrey wanted to respect my wishes to not kill and gut the Contessina Project just because it’s namesake was terminally ill.

Also, hold true to the course we’ve agreed upon for Salgria Shipping. I hope that there will come a time, that the sun will never set on the Salgria Shipping Empire. And I hope you finally get the recognition for it’s success you’ve been owed all along. You’ve poured your heart and soul into it all your life. It’s only right and fair that it pays back in kind and takes care of you better than I ever could. And while I know having Salgria Shipping in one hand and The Contessina Shipping Enterprise in the other. You are strong enough to handle both. You are smart enough to chart the courses for them both. There is no one in the Supersphere who is more capable than you to do so. Never doubt yourself My Love. Trust your gut. It’s gotten you this far in life. It will take you farther still.

Second, when you are grieving me, do not give into the way of the bottle, or any other substance or drug. Do not lose yourself to grief just to join me in the grave sooner than you naturally should. I will wait however long I have to be reunited with you, even if it’s in the afterlife. And please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t lose yourself into prostitutes either. For they will be like parasites. And they will surely keep any hiers you would give them only to continually be a drain on you financially. But when you’ve recovered and the thought of me no longer brings tears to your eyes and overwhelming grief to your heart. And that every time you close your eyes, you stop seeing my face, and your dreams of me lesson in frequency. And you are mentally, emotionally and psychologically ready to unite your heart with another. Don’t go looking for a pretty face with a pleasant voice who will agree with you on everything. But get a woman, no matter her nobility, no matter her breeding, no matter her background- who isn’t afraid to call you out, and stand toe to toe with you and stand her ground. Who is passionate about what she believes in and for what is right and just. She doesn’t need to be a genius, just smart enough to keep her wits and her head. Who is a hard worker and puts forth effort. Who will be a reasonable creature as much as she is an emotional one. Who will have a good balance and reasonableness. Someone who tempers justice with mercy. Someone with a good heart. And I want her to be able to look at you and not see someone to dupe out of a fortune, or her ticket to a luxurious life of ease. But I want her to look at you as her equal in all things. And to see your work load and only wish to put herself beside you under it’s yoke and pull with you if only to share the burden with you so that your own shoulders don’t give out.

And I want you to see the same thing in her. I want you to find a partner in life. Who is your equal in all things. Who will bravely and resolutely walk hand in hand, step by step in life with you. Who will, and can- give you a wonderful, loving and supportive family. You have always been an adventurer and a traveler. Your mate should be wanting and willing to be the same. Ideally, she would rather have the small and simple over the large, gaudy and grandiose in all things. But who is not intimidated by any high society, nobility or royalty. Where she comes from, doesn’t matter, only that she will feel that she belongs to you. And that you belong to her. The way you have belonged to me and that I have belonged to you when we have been together.

I’m so sorry My Love. But at last, I must say goodbye. I have enclosed some music I’ve composed for my family. If you can bear to hear it, I want you to listen to whoever can perform it and envision me singing it to you. Please, take comfort in knowing that while our love was short, it was true. And that for as strong and wonderful it was, it must be cut short. I’m not afraid to suffer and die, I have done my best to prepare myself for this, but I’m heartbroken that I must do so without you. Please understand that I only wished to spare you any suffering in watching me go through such an ordeal, especially when your presence was needed elsewhere. I can only hope that your scent in the pillow beside me will last until the end. So that even if my eyes can not behold you, to my sense of smell and my other senses, you never left my side. I’m only sorry that I didn’t have more time with you.

P.S. Please do not retaliate against my family, for they were only moved to try to survive and make the most of an impossible situation. Please stay friends with Saffiro. For he is still young and needs guidance. Especially when it will come for him to find his own mate in life. He has had myself as his golden standard of a friend and companion. Which is not fair to any other. Especially him. He needs a strong woman. A woman who can go toe to toe with him and anyone and everyone else. A woman who is not only intelligent but wise to walk side by side and hand in hand in life the way you and I have done. This will be especially hard for him and I fear the only women up to the task are in Dorierra. And while I have asked for your own dowry for my hand in marriage to be saved for such a purpose by my father. Who knows what will happen between now and then. He may take at least a few years to recover from my loss at least. And perhaps, even if I must go, he can stay your friend. And perhaps you’ll both be recovered at about the same time and can help each other navigate unfamiliar waters and both of you can be brave enough to enter the future, better for what you have endured so far. And wiser for it too. I love you, I have loved you. And I will love you and I will be patient until we can see each other again, if not in the afterlife, than in the next life after this one.

Your Loving Wife- Tessa"

Kragan couldn’t stop crying. He couldn’t stop holding you and kissing you all over your face as his tears wetted your face as your own tired eyes teared up in response as he put the letter down only to hold your face in both of his hands and kissed you all over your face as more and more tears came to his eyes before he moved his arm to wrap around and hold you as close as physically possible.

“Don’t you ever think that you’re being selfish about anything ever again. I am never leaving your side again. I never should have left you and I feel like an asshole who abandoned you when you needed me the most and I will be damned if anything separates me from you from this moment on. If you can’t fly, I don’t fly. If you can’t soar, I won’t soar. Hell, clip my wings right now. I don’t need to fly or soar or any of that if you can’t do it with me. Nothing else matters to me than you. To hell with everything and everyone else. You are the only one in the Supersphere I love and need in my life. I can’t lose you. You have been and are and always will be my one true love and my soul mate. I don’t care if I have to go to Heaven and demand your soul back from the gods themselves. I will pay whatever I have to keep you with me. You are never a lost cause. You are never a burden and you will never pay for anything ever again. Not even my own stupidity. Yes Fate did us a great service in bringing us together but Fate can fuck right off if it thinks it will ever take you from me. I have worked my whole life to become as strong as I need to be to bear whatever I have to for your sake. If you didn’t have surgery just this morning, I would be fucking you so hard this bed would break into pieces, but I also want to make damn certain you are never hurt by anything. Even a paper cut, the offending piece of paper needs to be burned to have the audacity to cut you in the first place.” Kragan insisted inbetween desperate kisses and sobs as he held you so hard it was almost hard to breathe, but you were clinging to him just as hard as your tears and his seemed to intermingle before you let out a laugh about him setting paper on fire for giving you a paper cut which finally got him to crack a smile through his own tears.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I will tattoo those words onto every inch of my skin if I have to because they are already practically ingrained into my heart as it is. Nothing about you was ever a waste. It was only to prepare you for a life no one in that stupid fucking place that you called Solowards could ever dream of. You are not going to die. Not from anything and never any time soon. Other than this special diet from recovering from the surgery, you are never going to go on any other diet, ever. And I will love you and respect you and dignify you and worship you every chance I get to for the rest of our lives. Please, never, ever hold anything back from me. I want to know everything. Even the small, inconsequential and mundane. Because you and everything about you is precious to me. Everything. I can’t do without you. I refuse. And anything and everything else can just fuck off until you heal from this.” Kragan insisted.

“Ok.” You readily agreed, so happy and relieved he wasn’t angry or upset or resentful- at least towards you as you did the same and reciprocated in kind and simply clung to him with the same desperation he was clinging to you.

You were going to live. And you were going to be spending every moment after this with him, your husband, your one true love and soul mate and you were going to bear this precious babe, come hell or high water.

#The Switch #The Switch Chapter 12 #orc love story #exo #orc romance #male orc x female reader #orc husband #Male orc x plus size female reader #orc period drama #orc historical period intrigue drama #orc renessance period intrigue drama #orc remessance love story #Orc fantasy love story #alternate fantasy universe

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forlix · 4 months

Text

‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝・h.j.

— stars flare brightest in the absence of light, and you see his clearer than day.

words・6.4k

pairing・han jisung x female reader

genres・college!au, friends with benefits to lovers, snowed in trope, smut, MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS THAT INTERACT WILL BE BLOCKED, angst, ANGST, you have been warned, hurt/comfort, i can't write normal fluff to save my life, happy ending!!!, semi-slow burn

warnings・depictions of insomnia, recurring nightmares, graphic violence, character death (in the nightmare), fears of abandonment and falling in love, alcohol consumption, humans helping each other heal. smut warnings under the cut

playlist・stay - acoustic by jonah baker・all of me by big gigantic・babydoll (speed) by ari abdul・oasis by exo・volcano by han

a/n・hi, here's my second installment of winter falls. writing this was immensely challenging and twice as meaningful, so feedback would be greatly appreciated. thank you to my may for being so fucking instrumental in piecing together this rollercoaster—this one is for you, i love you. thanks to my sahar for everything, always and forever. and thanks to all of you for being here. happy new year ♡

smut warnings・spitplay, unprotected piv, please practice safe sex!!!, car sex, dirty talk, jisung's dick game is kinda crazy, squirting, lots of aftercare

Every time Jisung closes his eyes, he sees somebody’s back.

It’s leaving. Traipsing somewhere he can’t follow. He tries to chase it—he always does, he never learns—but the premise doesn’t so much as surface before the ghosts circling around his ankles go for his throat instead. They snare him by the shoulders, force him to his knees, slam his forehead into the permafrost hard enough to break bone. They make sure the next time he tries to move will be the last.

So he remains, keeled over in the cold, until tearwater clings to his lower lashes in small icicles. Until bloodstained snow coats his lips like the manifestation of a curse. Until the back has disappeared.

Who does it belong to? He’s left to wonder. Where is it going?

Why can’t I follow?

Then he wakes up.

No longer does he lay awake for hours afterwards, scouring the dream’s every frame for his answers.

Now, he tosses and turns in clammy sheets until his exhaustion wins.

Now, he welcomes sleep like a miracle granted by some pitying god.

You see him.

Through a living room packed with red-faced partygoers and dissected by oscillating strobe lights, albeit, but you see him anyways.

Jisung can barely make out the rest of your face—he blames the lighting, or the soju, or both—but your eyes alone turn him to glass. Not a fancy vase through which the world distorts, but a simple pane that puts him and his ghosts on full display.

He hopes you like horror movies.

Felix knows you, because of course he does, and Jisung has never been happier to call the extroverted Australian his friend than when you come over to say hi. You stumble out of the crowd all smudged makeup and sweaty skin, your figure hugged by a short black dress with two diamond-shaped openings just above your hips, your glossy lips curved in a drunken smile. Jisung immediately wants it against his mouth.

Instead, it disappears behind his friend as you pull him into a quick hug. A few wisps of your hair dust over Jisung’s arm, momentarily replacing the smells of grease and vodka with cherry blossoms and vanilla.

“Lix, hey!”

“Darling, it’s good to see you! Feels like it’s been ages.”

“I know, right? How are you? How is everything?”

“Good, thank you. Just happy the semester’s over.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Then you go to lift your drink and discover thin air in its place. “Or I won’t. Whoops.”

This prompts Jisung’s first contribution to the conversation—and his first effortless laugh in a long while.

“Eventful night, huh?”

He meets your gaze from all of two feet away this time, and his knees buckle under him. That gaze, fuck. So clear and true, like a prism of glass refracting light into a rainbow. He would let you refract him a thousand times over if he had any light to give.

“Maybe,” you giggle. “Seems I’m a little too happy the semester’s over.”

“Wanna not get a drink to celebrate?”

Your expression flickers. Not in a bad way, more like you hadn’t expected him to ask so soon—or for yourself to have your answer so quickly.

A strobe light catches right under your eye and refracts the color in your blushing face. A rainbow.

“I’d like that.”

He tilts his head towards the kitchen. You give Felix’s elbow a light squeeze before moving past him; he gives Felix a glimpse of his growing smile before falling into step behind you. The blonde shakes his head, throws back the rest of his beer, then swivels at the sound of someone calling his name from across the foyer.

Felix will get drunk enough to forget the sight of you leading Jisung up the stairs, two bottles of pink lemonade tucked under your arm. Nothing stronger, as promised.

Jisung asks his question an entire minute after he intends to. “Where are we going, by the way?”

“Somewhere I can see your pretty face without having to squint,” you reply, and his stomach tumbles like a schoolboy with a valentine.

You don’t stop at the second floor. Instead, you nudge open a door Jisung swears just materialized to his left and emerge into the night air.

It’s warm for December, but he’s still met with chilly winds licking down the sides of his neck. That’s not the only reason he shudders, though. Below his feet, he finds a metal platform akin to that of a fire escape. Above his head, a staircase that looks one forceful step away from dropping off the side of the building.

You turn towards it.

In a hurry, he sputters, “I’m, uh—I’m not sure about this.”

A beat passes. Your hold on his wrist loosens, not to let go, just to trace wordless reassurance down the back of his hand. Your fingers feel perfect sliding into the spaces between his, like drops of honey in the craters of soufflé pancakes.

“It’s safer than it looks, I promise.”

Jisung heaves a sigh. It seems saying no to you is an impossible task.

You’re right, though. The iron rungs are surprisingly rigid beneath his feet, and the two of you make it to the roof with no trouble. He does stumble when you pull him up onto the gravel, but it’s intentional, a purposeful blunder to have you closer. To snag another glimpse of that blush, another trace of that floral vanilla.

“Sorry,” he whispers almost directly upon your lips. And that earns him all three.

The next hour evades him for the most part, and Jisung is pissed about it. He’s with the woman of his dreams under a sky so clear it’s almost lustrous and he’s too shitfaced to recollect when he gave you his hoodie to wear; what you said that made his lungs capsize with how hard he laughed; how you ended up so close to each other, your legs strewn over his lap, his hands tracing over your thighs.

Thankfully, he remembers a few things. He remembers how frighteningly easy you are to talk to; he remembers your habit of smacking his stomach when you get flustered; he remembers you getting flustered a lot. He remembers the timbres of your different laughs and how your stunning features crinkle with each. He remembers feeling like a pane of glass in front of you, just like he had downstairs, and he remembers liking it, somehow. Liking the way you see through him, the way you allow him to just exist as he is. Liking the way you acknowledge his ghosts with such nonchalance, inviting them over for tea and biscuits.

He wants to remember everything about you.

It’s not often he wants to remember anything.

Eventually, your conversation comes to a natural close. In its absence, Jisung notices that the alcoholic sludge in his brain has largely diffused; with it, the rumbling bass of the party below. The full moon hangs at its highest point, blanketing the two of you with anticipatory silence, nudging you towards the only topic you’ve yet to breach.

He meets your gaze again, from all of two inches away this time, and his insides twist.

“You’re still drunk, aren’t you?”

You blink at him, not following. Then he leans his forehead against yours, lets his eyes flicker to your mouth with such unbridled want that you’re instantly dizzy—and no longer confused.

Regret pools in your eyes moments before they close. “Yes, I think so.”

Your lips are so, so close that he can feel the air shift between you when they move, can feel the soft warmth emanating from them. Jisung pulls away before he does anything stupid.

You do the stupid thing for him.

You push his shoulders to the plaster behind him, push yourself onto his lap with a swing of your body and a slotting of your legs on either side of him.

The plush of your thighs hugging his hips, the curves of your breasts pressed against his chest, Jisung tries to stare up at you, perplexed, aroused. But you’re so close that he can’t, so he settles with whispering upon the underside of your chin, “what are you—”

“Gimme your lemonade.”

The authoritative words come out in a slurred haze, and he all but hastens to oblige.

You pluck the plastic bottle from his wavering grasp. His empty hand hovers as if uncertain where to go. But matters as trivial as hand placement drop off his mind’s precipice as he watches you unscrew the cap, the slope of your neck illuminated by spindly moonlight, and without thinking he pushes his hands beneath the hem of your—his—hoodie.

The skin of your waist is warm and smooth where his fingertips are cold and calloused, the juxtaposition unimportant in your reciprocal desires to touch and be touched.

“Open,” you murmur.

His jaw goes slack, firstly from pure disbelief. Then, obedience. The dark locks that obstruct his vision of you fall away as his head meets the brick half-wall behind him, as if the midnight breeze itself mandated their removal.

You pour some of the pink liquid past Jisung’s parted lips. Stray rivulets slip down his cheek and vanish beneath his neckline. You break eye contact to follow their path with dilated pupils and fluttering lashes. With unadulterated desire.

He swallows, gently, and feels the sweet substance surround his tonsils.

He swallows, forcefully, when you wrap your lips around the bottle, the plastic still slathered in his spit.

The swig you take is long, deep. Your throat bobs and your eyes close as if you’re savoring a finely-aged nectar. Then your lips are popping off the opening with a soft thwock, leaving a thick strand of saliva to suspend, suspend, suspend until the very second it’s about to drop, which is when you collect the residue with a deft swipe of your tongue.

“A placeholder,” you breathe, and Jisung’s head careens. A shared bottle. An indirect kiss.

“You’re a monster,” he croaks.

You giggle and lean down, curling a hand around his cheek, pressing a wet kiss to his Adam’s apple.

“Tomorrow, if we’re both sober…”

One, two, three pecks up the length of his jaw.

“...and you still remember my address…”

A suckle to the lobe of his ear.

“...you can kiss me, for real.”

A trembling breath.

“And then some.”

Jisung moans, loudly.

Thankfully, he remembers a few things.

He shows up at your place shortly after sunset the next day. You swing open the door, your face already alight with your world-ending smile.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Then he’s kissing you like a man famished.

Jisung learns to love your back, that night. He loves its dips and curves, loves its rise and fall. Loves how it arches into him, how it looks drenched in his cum. It’s the back of his dreams.

The back in his dreams keeps walking.

Jisung has never liked winter.

He has never liked its winds, whispering woefully as if mourning something unnamed and unseen. He has never liked its palette, whitewashing the world as if refracting a rainbow in reverse.

He has never liked cracking open his eyes and seeing the scenery of his nightmare outside his window. Nor does he like trudging over the sleet as if weighed down by the same ghosts that break him time and time again in his dreamscape. They love winter.

And this winter, he swears, is the bitterest yet. On the nights when he’s allowed to sleep, the nightmare comes in such sharp relief that he thinks he’d rather anything else, the ghosts meaner, the blood redder, the silhouette slower. It’s an act of mercy when he’s still awake by the time bleached sunlight perforates the curtains, resting upon his salted cheeks and balled fists.

This winter, it is not just dislike that he feels towards the gray winds—it’s hatred. A maelstrom of loathing so large and dark that Jisung no longer knows where it’s headed or what it’s directed to. Or who.

When winter break comes to an end, he’s probably the only person who’s happy about it.

His friends certainly aren’t, looking like a line of angry nutcrackers with their folded arms and thunderous faces standing outside Greem Cafe.

Jisung calls out a greeting as he jogs towards them, and cue the grumbling.

“What is there to smile about? Enlighten us.” That’s Hyunjin. “I have to deal with four finals and three essays in the next five days and this guy is smiling.”

“He’s accepted his fate, I reckon.” That’s Felix. “We should do the same, boys. Let ourselves down easy, y’know?”

“No, no, he’s smiling because he remembered to bring me his chem notes.” That’s Jeongin. “You did, right? Please say you did.”

Jisung is stunned into silence. “Can I not be happy to see my friends?”

“No,” Hyunjin and Felix reply in unison.

“My bad,” he sighs.

“My notes,” Jeongin repeats.

“I have them, dude. Let’s sit down first.”

The younger boy shouts an impassioned “THANK YOU” at the sky like the clouds just saved his GPA. Jisung reaches for the door to the café, then stops at the sound of Felix’s voice.

“We’re waiting on one more person.”

He turns towards the blonde with puzzled eyes. He’d been under the impression the study session would comprise just them four.

“Who?”

Felix’s response falters on his tongue when he catches sight of something in the distance, and his face changes in a way Jisung’s seen before.

“Look behind you.” Felix shuffles past him, raising his voice to shout, “yo!”

Jisung glances away from the newcomer as quickly as he sees her. It’s not until his eyes pivot to the fire hydrant across the street that he processes her identity.

In one second flat, his mind clutters full. He thinks back to that party, when all it took was the sight of your smile for him to theorize you were the most exquisite thing ever made. He thinks back to the next evening, when he kissed you and verified his hypothesis. He thinks back to what followed and would continue to follow in the few days that remained before break: entwined tongues and emblazoned hickeys, whitened knuckles and whiny praise, snapping hips and shaking bedframes.

This winter, Jisung swears, is the bitterest yet.

But seeing you, the scarf wound multiple times around your neck doing nothing to hide your gorgeous smile, feels like catching a fragment of summer in his frozen hands.

“Thank god,” Felix groans before embracing you. Collapsing on you, more like. “I’m saved.”

You reach around to pat the boy on the back, your eyes brimming with laughter. “Lower your expectations, please. I did well on one exam.”

“You aced the midterm. That automatically makes you a rocket scientist,” Felix corrects, his voice muffled into the shoulder of your coat. A few beats of silence pass. Then, “this is comfy.”

“Okay, okay, let’s go get some caffeine in you,” you giggle. “We have a lot of ground to cover today.”

Felix straightens up sleepily. And sadly. “Superb.”

Jisung hangs back as you introduce yourself to Hyunjin and Jeongin. He doesn’t even notice his growing smile until you’re standing directly in front of him and for the first time in three weeks there’s the smell of cherry blossoms in the air and a rainbow shining on his face again.

“Hi,” he offers.

“Hey,” you reply.

Hyunjin is the one to shatter the prolonged silence that follows. “Are you guys betrothed?”

Felix and Jeongin stalk into the café snickering. You and Jisung trail behind with flaming cheeks.

It takes Jisung two and a half hours to talk to you again. At that point in the afternoon, Felix is napping on the second practice test you’ve given him; Hyunjin has downed three shots of pure espresso and is currently viewing his screen with concerning intensity; Jeongin is at another table on a quiet Zoom call with his chemistry T.A., Jisung’s notes clutched to his chest like a life vest. And you’re leaning back against your seat opposite to him, scrolling through your phone in what he presumes to be a well-deserved study break. As good a time as any.

He opens up his texts with you. His fingers fly across the keyboard.

Jisung: do you have plans after this?

Your eyes stutter to the top of your screen, linger there for a moment, and lock onto Jisung’s from across the table.

He presses his lips into a thin line to suppress his smile. You let yours spill over in full form, and with it comes a soft giggle that would be worth getting his number fucking blocked just to hear one more time.

Three gray dots appear before elongating into a prompt response.

Y/N: I was gonna ask you the same thing…

He’s the one who laughs this time. Fuck, you’re cute. You’re so cute.

Jisung: can i take you to dinner? Y/N: Yes, I’d love that :) Y/N: When should we leave? Jisung: 9? Y/N: Sounds good~ Jisung: cool Jisung: it’s a date Y/N: It’s a date! Y/N: Excited 💛

With that, you put your phone face down and return to work, though your lips remain privately upturned. Jisung wants to kiss them again.

He also wants to turn you into a mess on his cock again.

Or both.

He doesn’t get much studying done after that thought surfaces.

Jisung: me too <3

When nine o’clock rolls around, you and Jisung begin cleaning up your work stations in near-perfect simultaneity. There’s confusion written all over Hyunjin’s and Jeongin’s faces as they watch you swing your backpacks over your shoulders—but Felix’s expression is a blank slate as he sips from his macchiato. Your ingenuity isn’t the only reason he invited you today.

As you make your way out of the café, your shoulders brush once, twice, and then Jisung drops his hand into the space between the two of you without uttering a word. You scoop it up in your own without missing a beat.

He steps into the freezing night feeling warm all over.

“You know what I realized?” You say as you walk towards his SUV.

“What did you realize?”

“We’ve never had a sober conversation before. Can we change that tonight?”

Jisung has broken hearts before.

There’s no euphemistic way to describe his tendency to abuse the sensitive organs, to wring them out and throw them away like irrelevant trash. To juggle and drop them with a sheepish laugh like they’re nothing more than props in a circus act.

He doesn’t do it to save himself or his partners from getting hurt or any self-ingratiating bullshit like that. It’s for himself, all for himself. All to unload his balls and his mind for fifteen blissful seconds.

There’s blood on his hands. He never cared to wash it off.

Except you are the one asking for his heart this time around, a dash of hope in your smile as you do so, and he thinks it would be his life’s greatest honor to be discarded by you.

“Sure,” he answers.

He doesn’t even last until he’s inside the car.

Your back meets the door to the passenger’s seat, guided there by his hands on your hips. From millimeters away he watches your surprise morph into understanding, then darken into lust.

“I like when we don’t talk, though.”

It’s the most annoying thing in the world to remove so many layers in such a cramped space.

Combined, your clothing forms a tower high enough to block out the driver’s window completely. An unnecessary blockade.

The glass fogs up anyways.

“Fuck, Ji, yes, right there, oh my god.”

You have your legs spread open and the back of your neck digging into the cupholder on the door. It’s not comfortable. You’re too busy getting fucked open to care.

Jisung detaches his lips from your neck to ask, “here, baby?”

The head of his cock hits that gummy spot again, harder, sweeter. You convulse, your hand scrambling for purchase in his raven locks.

“Yes, yes, yes, don’t stop, please.”

Please. The word plays over in his fuzzy mind.

It seems saying no to you is an impossible task.

His cock slips out of you and you lament the loss of contact with a high wail.

“W-why’d—where’d you go?”

He can’t help but chuckle at how incoherent you’ve become. He cradles the back of your head with a tender hand and lowers your upper body onto the leather seat, adjusting himself to your new elevation.

“Right here, beautiful. Didn’t go anywhere—promise—”

He expels the final word through gritted teeth as he slams into you again, and the new angle is glorious. Your bodies keen in flawless harmony. Profanities tumble from his lips in a steady stream before they turn back into syllables.

“Would never go anywhere. Would never leave without making this pretty pussy cream like it deserves—holy fucking shit, baby.”

You clench around him at his words and then he’s setting a new, relentless rhythm, rocking the whole vehicle with every hearty smack of his hips against yours, your wet walls squeezing him so dreamily he thinks he sees nirvana with every thrust.

You’re enjoying it just as much, if the bubbles of spit in the corner of your mouth are any indication, and Jisung is viciously proud to be the cause. Unbelievably lucky to feel your breasts jiggling under his chest and your nails digging into the back of his neck.

“Good?” He whispers, and you nod blissfully.

“So—good, Ji, so fucking good. Your cock is perfect, fuck, I can’t even—can’t even think.”

“You’re the perfect one. Can’t believe how well your cunt takes me, shit. It’s like it was fucking made for this.”

“It was,” you breathe, and he nearly shoots his load into you at this alone. “It was, it was—oh, god, I think—think I’m gonna come—”

“Do it,” he rasps. “Come for me. Come on this cock and it’s yours.”

“R-really?”

“Really.”

“Then, I will. I’ll come on your cock—make it mine. Need it so fucking bad, I’m so fucking close, oh—please—”

He anchors himself in place with a hand against the windowsill and the other travels down your body to rub fast, tight circles into your clit. You let out a wanton, prolonged moan, tilt your head back to expose him to your fluttering throat. And then you’re pulling his lips onto yours again, and the following kiss is sloppy beyond belief, the kind that can only antedate the happiest of endings.

“My cock,” you sigh into his mouth. “Mine.”

“Forever,” is the breathy response he doesn’t know if he means, the response he gives you anyways.

And then you curl your fingers in his hair. Clamp your teeth around his lower lip. Clench your thighs around his waist. There’s liquid everywhere. Tearwater spilling down the sides of your face. Release gushing all over his dick and pelvis and backseat.

He catches up the moment he realizes what’s just happened. Pulls out of you. Presses his head against the roof of his car. Spits on his hand. Pumps his pulsating cock. Sends himself over the edge you’ve just finished tripping over.

Eventually, he regains feeling in his limbs.

He opens his eyes, surveys the damage, and grins.

Your stomach is covered in ropes of white, your expression hidden behind your hands. You start shaking your head in profuse embarrassment the moment you feel his eyes on you.

“You squirted,” he says.

“I know,” you almost yell, and his grin erupts into a laugh.

He lowers himself back over you, takes your wrists, and removes them from your blushing face. He doesn’t think he’s seen you so flustered before and it has him palpitating in ways he never thought feasible.

Maybe he did mean the damn thing after all.

He pushes off the strands of hair clinging to your damp forehead and replaces them with a gentle kiss. “It was sexy as fuck and you’re everything.”

There’s a certain softness in your eyes when he pulls away. He hopes, for your sake, it’s all in his head.

His car is in need of aftercare most of all. You shrug on your clothes with considerable effort and get to work, all while sharing comfortable chatter and easy laughter.

Those things persist during your dinner date at a nearby Chinese restaurant and the drive back to your place, which Jisung knows well enough to no longer need his GPS. Those things persist until he kisses you goodbye on your doorstep, because he would have to be fucking crazy not to after you gave him the best night he’s had in so long.

After you reminded him that he’s still capable of comfort and ease, in spite of it all.

Snow comes a few weeks into the new year.

This winter, it falls late, and it falls hard, like a gust of breath expelled from drawn lungs at the very last minute. Held there as if lying in wait for something unnamed and unseen.

The gust of breath is too quiet to be heard over the one Jisung lets out against the shell of your ear. “Wait here.”

He goes to roll off you. You don’t let him just yet, darting your hand around his wrist and bringing his face back within centimeters of yours.

Han Jisung is beautiful. You knew it for the first time at that houseparty and you’ve known it every hour of every day since. But it’s always clearest to you in the afterglow, when his bare skin is golden and sticky and his delicate lips bitten to bright fuchsia.

When his irises have gone black and you see stars, flaring in the absence of light.

You close the distance that remains between you. Your lips part with a content sigh. Your hands drift over the slant of his neck; his find home in the dips above your waist.

He breaks away once you’re both out of breath, and the pad of his thumb wipes lightly at your lower lip.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes,” you reply shyly. “I couldn’t help myself.”

The smile this brings to his face reminds you of a candle’s flame. Soft on the eyes and scalding to the touch when he presses it back against your lips. Once, twice.

“Can you wipe your cum off me now?” You whisper, and he laughs straight into your mouth.

The mattress lifts. His footsteps grow quieter. You shiver in his absence.

Only then do you notice the blizzard.

You stumble off the bed to throw your curtains aside. Snow descends from the sky like spools of unraveling yarn. The streetlights have been reduced to foggy specks, the parked cars to blurry heaps. Every sidewalk and rooftop in sight has already been slathered in ivory.

Jisung announces his return with a disbelieving whistle.

“Am I dreaming?” You murmur.

“When did that happen?”

“I have no idea.”

You don’t even notice the wild smile on your face until you turn to him and catch his reaction to it. He looks like he’s asking himself the same question.

“C’mere,” he hums, and you oblige.

He laves the warm towel over your breasts and stomach, as well as the places his release has trickled since you flung yourself to your feet. All while supporting the small of your back with a touch fatally careful, an expression wholly adoring. All evidence of just how blurry the line between sexual escapade and lover has become in two short months.

Your ribcage fucking throbs.

“You don’t seem excited,” you say.

He finishes cleaning you off. You give him a distracted thank you, noticing the sudden shadow draped over his face like a netted veil.

“I’m not,” he answers, not unkindly.

“You don’t like snow?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

He circles around the bed to get dressed. You bend to pick up the clothes tossed aside earlier and drop them into your hamper, then slip into a clean pair of underwear and sweatpants.

“It’s a long story.”

Just as you reach for a top, a bundle of cloth travels in an arc across your bedroom and hooks itself around the crook of your arm. His T-shirt.

You glance at Jisung. He’s already looking elsewhere, but his private smile makes its way onto your face as you slip it on.

“Well, I have time.” You sink into your mattress, now surrounded by his muted musk, his papyrus and petrichor. “We’ll be stuck here a while, after all.”

“Stuck?” Jisung repeats, the lanyard of his car keys dangling from the pocket of his hoodie, his feet turned towards the door.

A pregnant pause commences. His intentions dawn, and you gape.

“You’re not driving right now.”

He breaks eye contact.

“Right?”

That was the plan, you read in his expression.

You know better than trying to reverse a river’s current by kicking up rocks. You know better than trying to curtail the flight of an albatross by clipping its wings.

You know better than asking someone who thinks he was made to leave to stay.

And you won’t.

“I have somewhere to be early tomorrow morning,” he stammers, the lines terribly rehearsed. “The snow’s not heavy, I’ll be—”

“Stay.”

You’re not asking.

Jisung looks at you, startled, as you glide across the bed. You place your feet on the hardwood and circle your arms around his waist. Lace your fingers upon the hollow of his back. His pulse goes uneven at your abrupt proximity.

Akin to the drag of a feather, you mouth at his cheek, then the side of his neck.

“You can stay, Jisung.”

He shudders at your words, and you’ve got him.

It’s oddly normal, the sight of him clambering into your bed in your clothing—a pair of old sweatpants and your favorite crewneck—like this isn’t the first time you’re sleeping together in your two months of sleeping together.

In fact, the only indication of anything unordinary is the floaty feeling in your stomach when your head hits the pillow and discover Jisung’s face only inches away. He drapes an arm over your waist, gathering you close. You nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

The inevitable question follows.

“Can I save the story for another time?”

“Sure,” you return, keeping your voice small. He doesn’t hear your disappointment this way. “Should we go to sleep, then?”

“We should.”

Your foreheads touch. Your noses bump together. Your eyes cross, watching the adoration pull at his. You dimly register your hand threading in his fluffy locks, his thumb running over your cheekbone. Your lashes narrowly miss the surface of his eyes, and then he tips your face up by millimeters.

You don’t remember when you fall asleep. You only recall the hour beforehand that you spend with Jisung’s lips traversing yours, like you are the ocean and he’s uncovering new waters with every bruise he prints against your throat, every suckle he leaves around your tongue.

In your dream, the roles reverse and you are the one exploring him, mapping out his constellations with wide-eyed wonder.

You wake to a black hole.

For the first five seconds, you see nothing. You hear nothing. You feel nothing. You only blink in the darkness, your mind kicking into groggy gear to ask the very good question of why you’re conscious again.

Instinct moves your hand across the mattress. Empty space greets you where Jisung should be. Unfounded dread shoves your back off the bed. You gasp, the sound seeming to echo in the cavernous silence.

Your eyes adjust enough to discern light in the crack beneath your door, and you’re wide awake.

The following events go by in a blur. You stumble out of bed and into your closet, fastening your fingers around the thickest piece of fabric you find. You fly into the living room, where the lamp by the couch is left on and the pair of worn black Converse on your doormat have gone missing.

The front door is cracked open, and through the narrow inches you spot someone hunched on the stairs outside, his dark hair dyed platinum by the awning light’s fluorescence.

Your heart stills in relief, then quickens with anxiety.

You’ve tried wearing this crewneck in January enough times to know you can’t. In fact, you suspect that it somehow soaks up the temperature, lets it seep in between its every seam until it becomes one with the bitter winds.

But he isn’t shivering, you notice as you take a seat next to him, draping the puffer over both of your shoulders on your way down. He’s simply staring off into the bleak storm, snowflakes sitting atop his head like a coating of ash, their color matching that of his frozen skin. He’s becoming one with the bitter winds.

At first, you don’t recognize the man in front of you.

You’re well familiar with those ring-laden hands and the whetted jawline thrown into shadow, those remnants of cologne clinging to his frame. But you have never seen that gaze before, bloodshot and bleak and belonging to somebody new. Somebody who isn’t completely here, straddling the partition between the realms of people and phantoms.

Then he lifts his eyes and you see stars, flaring in the absence of light. Your stars.

And you recognize him for the first time ever.

You drop your hand to your hip, and his fingers feel stiff and cold and perfect, sliding into the spaces between yours.

“Why don’t you like snow?” You ask.

Jisung’s eyes return to the swirling sleet, but he moves your interlocked hands to rest on his thigh, and you know that he’s with you.

He’s been having this nightmare.

It takes place in a small clearing. It’s winter, and everything is covered in snow. Not the gentle kind that you can catch on your tongue, but the unyielding kind that’s hard and dense and covered in cracks, like a lake newly frozen over.

Somebody is in front of him, walking away. He can only see their back. He wants to chase after them. He doesn’t want to be left behind. But there are ghosts nearby, and they’ll split his skull open on the permafrost and tie his windpipe into a pretty bow if he so much as dreams of pursuit. He always does. He doesn’t know how not to.

Normally, the back leaves, and he can do nothing but remain. He can direct his loathing only to the snow into which he bleeds.

Normally, he waits for the dream to end with something bordering on boredom. He’s seen this movie too many times. He fucking hates how it ends.

This time, though, the snow tastes like something.

After the flavors deliquesce upon his tongue, his head shoots up, his eyes blowing wide as they latch onto the retreating figure. He knows who it is.

His feet scrabbles against the ice with his attempts to rise to them. He lunges forward with frenzied resolve, and that is when the ghosts snap his neck.

He wakes up.

“Cherry blossoms and vanilla.”

You blink, tearwater streaking from your eyes in silent, steaming trails.

“That’s—”

My shampoo.

A broken sob escapes you in lieu of the rest of your sentence, and Jisung laughs, a flimsy facade that crumbles when he lifts his hand to dab at your moistened cheeks and it’s trembling.

“Silly,” he murmurs. “I’m used to it now.”

“I don’t want you to be.”

“I don’t want you to cry for me.”

“You died.”

“And I would do it again.”

This response comes without an shred of hesitation.

You first realized you had something to confess, that night in the the back of Jisung’s SUV. You’ve kept it locked away for your sake and his, even moreso. You see how fear clings to him like an unshakeable wraith, and you refuse to feed the parasite.

Now, your confession explodes from its fortress in the center of your soul and rises up your larynx. You panic like an inept security guard letting their only prisoner bolt free. Is it really the right time? Do you know what to say? Have you really thought this through?

Too late. It’s rushing to the point of your tongue already. You suppose you’ll find out.

He saves you the trouble.

“Honestly?”

Your confession stills.

“I don’t know if I’m okay, and I won’t try to convince you otherwise. You’d call my bluff. You’re good at that.

“But everything feels okay when I’m with you. You see me. You allow me just to exist as I am. You make me feel human again—you make me want to feel human again. You empty my mind.”

You feel as if you’ve been ejected into space naked, griping for air where there is none.

“I never believed in having somebody to lose,” he utters, gently leaning his forehead against yours. “But I would rather disappear than watch you go.”

You cradle his jaw with shaking fingers, trying and failing to quell the violence of your emotion.

“Don’t go,” he exhales.

You kiss him.

It should feel the same as before. You reach for the slant of his neck, him the dips above your waist. You sigh into him, parting your lips, and he moves into you deeper, harder, dipping into your mouth with his tongue’s pliant swipe. But there’s something new in the way you hold each other, in the seal of your mouth against his.

The line between sexual escapade and lover vanishes as if swept off the sand and into the sea. His stars come out of hiding at last and they bathe you in their residue, light your heart aglow.

Your confession resurfaces. It wants to stargaze also.

“I love you too,” you breathe.

The night comes and goes.

The two of you spend it entangling, sweating, your lips glued the expanse of his neck and the arcs of his shoulders, writing over the ghosts’ injuries with bruises of your making.

Only when the winds have faltered outside do you attempt to rest again. You are curled up in balmy bliss, utterly depleted. Jisung’s arms around your middle and legs threaded among yours bring you that much closer to slumber’s cusp.

You attribute it to your exhaustion when he mumbles something against you, and you have no idea what it means: “Thank you for refracting me.”

Your confusion is palpable in your silence. His laugh hits the nape of your neck with a gentle puff, and he kisses the spot just beneath your ear. “Never mind.”

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kimbappykidding · 8 months

Text

Imagine getting jealous and insecure seeing Baekhyun flirting with other girls

You were pretty sure Baekhyun had asked you out based on your stage character. While performing, you often got the hot concepts and you did it well but it wasn't an accurate representation of your true self. Off stage, you were shy, quiet and introverted. You saw other kpop idols being very charismatic and loud and admired that, it's how you first noticed Baekhyun. You loved how fun and loud he was and found it entertaining. Baekhyun had always been polite to you, holding doors open, passing you microphones etc but he didn't ask you out until your latest comeback where you had the sexy concept. You said yes because you'd always liked Baekhyun and quickly fell into a 2 month-long relationship. The two of you were not technically official but you'd go on dates and hook up after work. You'd enjoyed yourself and the chemistry was great between the two of you but you couldn't help feeling like an imposter. You acted confident around him and channelled some of your stage character in an effort to impress him. You were sure he was going to realise you were nothing like he thought and anytime you couldn't be as social or outgoing as him at a party thought he'd realise and break it off. Then to make things worse tonight at the party you were both attending he actually had someone to match his energy in the form of a beautiful woman.

As the two of you weren't official nobody except your members knew anything was going on so at parties you largely avoided one another but that didn't mean you didn't see the cute interactions he was having with Gaeun.

You watched as she and Baekhyun both raced for the door and how they crashed into one another laughing. You took a sip of your drink and watched as the hand Baekhyun had used to steady her stayed on her shoulder. The competitive childish side of you rose up and you decided if you were going to be dumped you atleast wanted to go out appearing to her having fun. So you asked your members if they wanted to dance and headed for the dancefloor. You channelled your stage character and she was there. A while later Baekhyun looked around the room and noticed you were no longer at your table. He felt a little upset because he wanted you to see how fun he was and how much other people liked him! That was the reason he acted so outgoing and social at parties but he scolded himself for being childish. He always found himself putting on a show and being more extroverted around you in an attempt to impress you. You had this amazing ability to go from being so confident and showy to being cool and calm. He wished he could be like that but being chill wasn't his strong suit and so he played to his strengths. He really liked looking up at an event and seeing you laugh at one of his jokes or smiling amusedly at something he'd done. He kind of felt like all that was for nothing if you hadn't seen it and so he headed out to look for you. Baekhyun wasn't shocked to see you dancing, he knew you liked to dance. He was shocked because you were going all out and pretty much everyone was pretending not to watch you while watching you. The two of you weren't openly a couple but Baekhyun didn't care about that watching the way you were moving. He moved further into the room and you spotted him gawking at you, smiled and flipped your hair. Baekhyun took that as an invitation and rushed over to you. You were clearly in a playful mood because you kept twirling and moving anytime Baekhyun tried to wrap his arms around your waist. You seemed to be enjoying teasing him because you had a big smile on your face every time Baekhyun sighed as you moved away from him. He'd finally got you in his arms and was just about to tease you back when you leaned forward and kissed him. It was one of those knee-buckling kisses and Baekhyun was a mess before he knew it. He was clinging onto you only for you to pull away he blinked his eyes open and stared at you. "Hi" he said and you stared back at him "hi". "That was amazing" he told you and you paused "are you sure?". "Of course!" he cried "Y/n you're so hot". You nodded "but am I as hot as Gaeun?". Baekhyun froze "pardon?". "I saw you with her, your hands lingering and I wasn't happy. Do you want her instead of me?". Baekhyun shook his head grinning "never!" but there was something in your tone and how you couldn't look at him that made Baekhyun realise this wasn't a joke. "Y/n I promise we're just friends, of course I want you" he said going more serious. "Just because of how I look on stage?" you asked and Baekhyun saw your confident act fade away to be replaced by genuine worry. Baekhyun shook his head and took your hand. He led you somewhere quieter and carried on shaking his head. "Of course not just how you look on stage, where did you get that idea from?". "Well you asked me out after our latest comeback and I noticed you watching me on stage...is that the girl you want me to be? Who you thought you were asking out?". "No! Y/n you're an incredible stage performer but that's not why l asked you out". "It's not?" you asked. Baekhyun laughed "of course not! I mean I am attracted to you and that stage was very good but I liked you way before that and not just for your looks...I'm not embarrassed to admit I'd watched some of your interviews and I loved how funny you are. You're so smart and quick I really found that attractive. Then I also liked how you're kind of quiet and cool but you really care. I'd heard of the things you'd done for your members and fans and I thought you sounded so sweet I wanted to be with you". "And since we've been seeing each other...you haven't been disappointed?". Baekhyun chuckled "are you kidding me, hold on one second". He pulled out his phone and called Suho. "Hey hyung just real quick, what did I say the night I came back from my first date with Y/n?". "Erm that her legs looked amazing". Baekhyun blushed "not that! The other thing". Suho paused "ow you mean how you were ready to propose?". Baekhyun nearly dropped the phone "I didn't say propose!". "Well you said something like that...how you instantly got a great feeling from her and you could see yourself with her for a very long time. Then Chanyeol teased you about the two of you growing old together and you blushed like a teenager. Is that it?". Baekhun nodded blushing again "yep that's the one, bye" and hung up. He laughed "so that was meant to reassure you but it could've just as easily terrified you" he laughed. You smiled "it did reassure me...you thought that after our first date?". He nodded "I knew we'd be a good couple and that I really liked you". You blushed "wow that's really sweet". He smiled "well nothing's changed and I actually really like how different we are. You help calm me down and the members have commented how I'm a much better listener since I met you. So what I'm trying to say is I've hopelessly fallen for you and the thing with Gaeun didn't mean anything but I'm sorry I upset you". You shrugged "it's okay, I'm sorry for being insecure". "Don't be" Baekhyun said kissing your cheek. You relaxed into him and Baekhyun smiled wrapping his arms around you properly. Baekhyun held you, gently resting his head on your shoulder until eventually, you'd gotten enough cuddles. "So do you want to go back and dance?" you asked him. Baekhyun shook his head "if it's okay with you I think I'd just like to go home and curl up on the sofa together". You smiled "that sounds amazing" and left hand in hand, letting everyone know you were together.

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marshmallow-phd · 27 days

Text

A Manor of Shadow and Blood

Genre: Regency Gothic AU

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: A stormy night brought you to the manor in the middle of the woods. Nine strange men occupied its halls. They won't let you leave. A dangerous secret haunts this estate. Learning it might either be your saving grace or it could lead to the last breath you ever take.

Part: 1 I 2

The fever took over almost as soon as you left the bathroom. Your feet had become heavier, like lead refusing to be moved. Your vision went black before you made it to the bed. Consciousness came and went, images you weren't sure were real or not blurred your vision. A man wiped your forehead with a cloth. Another fed you salty broth. Two more held you upright as someone changed the sweat-soaked pillowcase. The last image you remember was the lingering presence of someone near the doorway. All you could register was his short black hair and white tunic. He turned from the bed and walked out of the room as you fell back asleep.

*****

A long groan rumbled your throat as your eyes blinked open. The fever that had consumed your body was gone. Your rough tongue scraped the roof of a mouth desperate for moisture. Every limb was sore from not being used. A small pain still pushed at your head, but it was bearable. Only a small measure of light broke the edges of the curtain. It was either barely dawn or the very end of twilight.

"It would seem you're past the worst of it."

You gasped at the unexpected voice. Junmyeon emerged from the shadows and stood at the edge of the bed. He tilted his head, the upper half of his face still cloaked in the darkness.

"I was sick," you stated to no one in particular. Perhaps in mere confirmation for yourself.

Junmyeon nodded. "You had a fever for two days".

"Two days!" you gasped. You were supposed to arrive to your aunt today. If you didn't show–

An echoing thud interrupted your thoughts. You sat up slowly, groaning at the protest of your arms and torso. Junmyeon kicked the familiar chest on the floor again. Excitement pushed away all remaining consequences of the fever. It was your trunk with all your things. Soon, you could be on your way again, with a harrowing tale for your worried relative.

"We found it this morning," he explained. "Along with the driver."

Your heart leapt. "He's–"

"Dead. Probably broke his neck from the fall." His voice was void of empathy. Death–at least the kind not directly in contact with himself–did not affect him. "The carriage isn't salvageable. and the roads are still practically swamps.”

Each breath you took in came faster and faster, more shallow than the last. How could the roads still be unfit for travel? The room began to tilt. "So, what does that mean for me?" Perhaps you would have to wait for a replacement carriage or for your aunt to come get you herself.

He looked to the door with a resigned expression. "You will stay here until we deem fit."

"What!" You scrambled out of the bed. Your knees buckled as soon you feet touched the rug. Going so long without proper nutrition and being sick with fever left you weak. Junmyan caught before you could be injured, sweeping you up into his arms. A mild shiver chattered your teeth. Through your thin nightgown you could feel the icy chill of his fingers. How one's skin could be the temperature of snow, you didn't know.

He laid you back down on the bed with a rather smug expression. "Traveling isn't in your best interest. You need to regain your strength."

You swallowed thickly. "And after that?"

The only answer you received was a smile.

"You can't keep me here!"

"Eat," he ordered, gesturing to the small table in the corner. A silver tray with fresh morsels sat and waited to be consumed. "You're free to roam the manor as you choose, but remember: there is nothing for miles, not even an inn. You'll meet a hungry wolf before coming across another human." He bowed as if he were a gentleman and left you alone to accept your circumstances.

*****

A small amount of strength returned to you after eating. Although fasting in protest could have been effective, you pathetically couldn't resist. Food had always been a favorite weakness of yours.

The next form of protest you tried was keeping to your room. But after a few hours of not a footstep outside, you concluded self-confinement was only useful if someone noticed.

From your trunk you pulled one of the more plain dresses that had been packed for you. It wasn't too difficult to dress yourself. The true trouble came for your hair. Despite being in bed for several days, no knots caused you pain. That, however, was the extent of your talent. Charlotte, your maid, had been the one to curl and pin your hair in the latest fashions. The best you could do was tie it back with a plain blue ribbon. Squaring your shoulders, you yanked the door open with force and shelled out of the room.

Up and down the different halls, you tried to make sense of the layout. This manor expanded in nearly every direction. You went upstairs and down again, unsure of where you were. The bit of light that managed to fight past the thick curtains that hung in front of every window grew in strength. But though the day grew older, you saw none of the residents. No sound alerted you to any being close. It gave you an eerie feeling. It was as if you were alone but an ever lingering presence haunted every corner.

You took another random left turn. And stopped.

The front door was just on the other side of this hall. You scanned the area around you. Your ears strained to hear anyone that could possibly be near. Not even a bird sang outside. You took a step. Then another. And another. One at a time, you paused between each step, waiting for one of the lords to suddenly appear and drag you back to your room.

Huh. Your room. As if your stay here would be forever permanent. You prayed that they would soon grow bored of you and send you on your way. All this could be was a terrible joke because they had no other way to occupy their time.

You'd reached the door. Possible freedom lied on the other side. Yet, your fingers hovered above the handle. Junmyeon's warning waded through your mind like a morning fog. Nothing for miles. Surely if that was true, the driver would have stopped rather than continue on in the storm.

And then there were the wolves. You knew of their existence. And how a human could be just as satisfactory as elk if they thought they could overpower whoever they came across. To them, you would certainly make easy prey.

"Doors only move when one opens them."

With a shrill gasp, you whirled around and pressed your back against the door. The one who drew your bath last night–Jongdae–was leaning against the entrance to the side parlor. He stared at you with a bored expression, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where did you come from?" you demanded. You had looked in the parlor as you passed. No one was in there.

He waved an uncaring hand in the air. "Around. I heard you walking and when it stopped, I came to see why.”

"You heard me walking?" You'd put slippers on before leaving the room since your boots were still caked with mud. You could hardly hear your own steps against the wood boards.

Jongdae merely raised an eyebrow, refusing to explain. You huffed. The previous fright in you disappeared. Pushing off of the door, you shuffle past him and into the parlor. Your feet were beginning to pulse after walking around for hours. You sat in one of the cushioned chairs to give them some relief.

Before you could blink, Jongdae was seated in the chair across from you.

"How did you do that?”

Smug, he leaned back in his seat, crossing one leg over the other. "Would you like a tour?"

"Not if you refuse to answer my questions," you scoffed.

The corners of his lips curled upward. "I think it might be better if you figure it out for yourself. Over time."

That earned another huff. You especially disliked the insinuation that you would be here for a long while. Hope still flickered in you like a warm ember, desperate for fuel.

Jongdae stared at you quizzically. "Why didn’t you run?”

"Because, there isn't anywhere to run to," you answered quietly. You were lucky to make it here in the first place. Regardless if you were imprisoned or not, you were thankful to be alive.

Still eyeing you with that studious share, he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. "Is there another reason you don't want to leave?"

You swallowed thickly. It was impossible for him to read your thoughts. He couldn't possibly know that something else held you back. "It's safe here–”

"We both know this place isn't safe for you," he snapped. "Your instinct should be to run as far as you can.”

"B-but the wolves..." your voice trailed off, overshadowed by the thumping of your heart.

"The wolves are nothing compared to here." He stood and all seriousness melted away as he stretched his limbs. "Or maybe they aren't. Perhaps that simply depends on you." You flinched as he reached for you. He didn't pause and his fingers passed your face, instead pulling at the ribbon in your hair until it came loose and dropped the fabric in your lap. "I wouldn't wear your hair like that.

You frowned at him. The men here weren't exactly the epitome of current style. "Why?"

“Keep pulling it back like that and you'll have your answer." He dared to wink at you before strolling from the parlor.

It took a little while to find your room again. Part of you wondered if you should have accepted Jongdae's offer of a tour. Another part stubbornly insisted you would find your own way eventually.

Sitting down at the small table, you pulled the curtain back. Your room was on the second floor, which gave you a decent view of the grounds.

Unlike most of the forest you remember seeing, this area was void of life. The trees were bare, their branches rigid and spindly. No birds or other woodland creatures scurried about. There was plenty of grass and garden hedges, but somehow all of the beauty was sapped from their blades and leaves. A few stone benches and structures were scattered about the estate, but whatever stunning carvings they used to present had been worn away. A sadness had overtaken this land, infected its very core. Not even the sunlight–now making its way to the other horizon–felt warm. How could anyone live amongst this?

All your strength gained through breakfast waned. You didn’t need sleep, per se, but rest wasn’t a terrible idea. Leaning back, you tucked your feet under you and shuffled into the corner of the chair. Your eyes slowly closed–

And snapped open at the soft knock from the door. You scowled at the door. It replied with another knock. With a huff, you stood and crossed the room, pulling the door open with force. "Yes?"

Junmyeon smirked at your hostility. "It's time for dinner."

You looked down, but his hands were empty. No new silver tray in sight.

"Dinner is with us."

Your throat tightened as his words sunk in. With them.

He motioned with his head. "Come."

"I have to change."

His eyes raked you up and down, then he raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Why? Because you always charged for dinner when you weren't dining with only your family. It simply wasn't proper to wear what you were tramping around in all day.

When you neither spoke nor moved, he reached behind you and pulled the door closed, pushing you out of the room and into his chest. He chuckled at the contact. You shoved him away. His amusement didn't waver. "The dining hall is this way."

Understanding that the only way you would eat was by following him, you complied. He led you to one of the familiar staircases, but then down a hallway you didn't recognize. The dining hall sat on the other end. Past the grand entrance was a long, dark red table that ran the length of the room with the ability to seat at least twenty. An old chandelier hung from the ceiling, a few of the precious crystals missing. A roaring fire clicked and cracked on the opposite wall.

"You'll sit here." Junmyeon startled you as he pulled a chair just to the left of the head of the table. All the other available seats were occupied. With your chin held high, you accepted, letting him push the chair in. Then he sat at the head.

There were four chairs on each side of the banquet table, haphazardly spaced, and a lone chair at the other end. To your immediate right was the one named Yixing. He stared at you with narrowed, interested eyes that somehow made his already sharp features lethal. You dropped your gaze instantly, finally noticing the food in front of you. Your eyes lifted... no one else had a meal, only a goblet full of wine.

"Has everyone else eaten?"

"Mm," Junmyeon hummed over the rim of his glass. When the goblet left his mouth, a faint red smear remained behind. He licked his lips slowly to wipe it away. "We don't typically... eat dinner, but thought of it as an opportunity to introduce you.”

A few chuckles echoed around the room, but the joke was lost on you.

"Eat," Junmyeon motioned to your plate. All eyes were trained on you. The silverware clinked and clattered as you picked up the fork and knife. Would the food be poisoned? Did they get some sick enjoyment from this? You cut off a small bite of chicken. Each bite was slow, testing the flavor. It wasn't beautifully seasoned, but you couldn't taste any bitter poison underneath. You swallowed and cut another bite.

Satisfied, Junmyeon motioned to the man on his right. "This is Jongin.”

"You have a pretty name," the man purred. You merely stared at him and continued to eat. He laughed from his chest. "Then Chanyeol." This one bowed in his chair with a flourish of his arm. "Jongdae." He winked. You scowled at him. "Sehun." This one didn't look at you, looking bored as he leaned back lazily in his chair, sipping from his glass. "Kyungsee at the end."

Kyungsoo, who had been staring at the table, his chin resting on folded fingers. He glanced at you but immediately looked away when he met your gaze.

"That one is Minseok," Junmyen went on. The one named Minseok smiled at you with an eerily feline grin. "Baekhyun." He, too, grinned at you in a way that sent a chill down your spine. "And next to you, I'm sure you remember, is Yixing."

You didn't look at him again. Putting down the silverware, you gave your attention back to Junmyeon. "When can I leave?"

He scoffed before he could take another sip of wine. "I already told you. Until we deem fit."

"You can't keep me here!"

"Maybe you should have considered that before you came here.”

"You might enjoy it here," Baekhyun hummed.

"I doubt it," you snapped back.

Chanyeol leaned forward onto the table. “Do you have family?"

You swallowed nervously. "Yes."

"You should ask her if she has a lover," Jongdae crooned. When all eyes jerked to him, you carefully slid the knife over to your right hand under the rim of the plate. By luck, you had decided to wear a dress with sleeves. You just needed to conceal the knife until you were back in your room.

"Do you?" Jongin asked of you, a little too interested for your comfort.

You glared daggers at Jongdae. "No, I don't."

His lips curled gleefully. "I don't believe you." He shrugged. "Then again, maybe it's not a lover that you’re trying to avoid."

"My aunt is expecting me."

"And she'll keep expecting you," Junmyeon growled.

A hand flashed out of nowhere, snatching up your wrist and catching the knife before it fell to the floor. "I wouldn't do that," Yixing warned. You tried to yank your wrist back, but he took the opportunity to bring you closer to him.

Junmyeon sighed. "Yixing.”

Revealing who was in charge Yixing released your wrist, but he put the knife in front of him. Small indentations appeared along the blade that weren’t there before. A perfect fit for a hand.

You stood with such force that your chair overturned behind you.

"Finished already?" Jongin teased.

You gave a single hard nod and stormed out of the dining hall. None of them stopped you.

"This is going to be fun," one of them chuckled. A chair scraped hastily against the floor and you hurried faster to your room.

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yourfatherlucifer · 7 days

Text

Our Aurora : Chapter 3

Poly!Ot8!Ateez x afab/female!Reader

Summary: Attending university with your eight boyfriends wasn’t easy, neither was sharing a mansion with them.

Warnings: MDNI, this mini series includes tons of smut, slight violence, protective ateez, poly relationship, established relationship, mentions of mxm, choking, other smut themes.

SMUT ONLY CHAPTER

WC: 1.9k

AU: University

Genre: Smut/fluff

Nets: @newworldnet

Tags: @deltamoon666 @watermelon2319 @justconniez @a-teez-4-exo @mingtinysworld @certifiedmoa @kittkat44 @sanhwalvr @spenceatiny18 @vtyb23 @sousydive @haebaragisworld @yourallaround-simp @therealcuppicake @ja3hwa @angel-hyuckie @mingisdoll @minkilicious @hwallazia

SERIES MASTERLIST

“Jongho?” You called out to your boyfriend in the passenger seat.

Yunho glanced at you from the rear view mirror, already seeing you unbuckle yourself in the backseat, “Y/N, put that seat belt back on this-“

“No. Jongho, please take your cock out.” You licked your lips as you leaned over the console from the backseat.

Jongho dropped his phone in his lap, “W-what?” You and Yunho had just picked Jongho up from soccer practice and you were horny as fuck.

“What the fuck, Y/n?” Jongho slowly turned to stare at you.

“You heard me, whip your cock out.” You stared down at his clenched fists.

Yunho gripped the steering wheel, he wanted to watch so bad, watch his girlfriend give his boyfriend a handjob.

“Yes, I did in fact hear you, but..” Jongho sighed, “We are on the highway, I can’t just take my dick out.”

“Jongho, baby, the windows are tinted, if you don’t want to, that’s fine.” You sat back in your seat, “I’ll just fuck myself back here.”

Yunho growled and you both stopped what you were doing to look at him, “Fuck, you two are so annoying.” He pushed his glasses up his nose and swerved to find an empty lot, cars honking at him for driving recklessly.

When he found a safe place, he turned off the car, “Y/N, up here, now.”

You grumbled to yourself and climbed up front, not sure who to sit on, “Um..”

Yunho pushed his seat back and reclined it, yanking you to sit on his lap, “You just couldn’t wait till we got home to fuck the star boy, could you? Should I punish you?” You let out a whimper as he grinded you on his bulge.

Jongho let out a loud gulp as he palmed his growing erection, “Yunho..don’t you think-“

“Shut up, Jongho, unless you want me to punish you too.” Yunho had thrown his glasses in the backseat and glared at the younger male.

You smacked Yunho’s shoulder, “Stop being mean to him, he didn’t do anything.” Yunho quirked up his lip in annoyance, grabbing your throat with his long fingers.

“I really should shut that mouth of yours, shouldn’t I?” His other hand came to palm your covered breast, “Because all you seem to do is yap and yap.”

Jongho didn’t know what to do in this moment, he froze up. He could only watch as his male lover fondled your body and roughed you up. He watched as Yunho latched his lips onto your collarbone. His cock was aching by now, begging to be freed from his shorts.

Yunho ripped open your shirt to access more of your chest, “Yunho!” You gasped, the sudden air exposure bringing chills to your nipples.

This was so hot in Jongho’s eyes, he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled his cock out. He sighed in relief and rested his head on the headrest, closing his eyes as he listened to your moans and whines. All because of Yunho.

Yunho gripped your waist tightly, “Strip. Bare.”

You didn’t even hesitate, just too excited to finally have a cock inside of you after being horny all day. You’d take any of your boyfriends.

Jongho lightly panted from the side, “Yunho, please, I need to be inside of her. Can we go home?”

Yunho slapped your ass and stared at Jongho, “You can wait, I’m going in first. So be patient like the little good boy you are, got it? Maybe I’ll fuck you after.”

Jongho didn’t want to wait, he’s been so pent up with his never ending practices, especially with the big game coming up. He just wanted to be inside one of his lovers or maybe the other way around. He just didn’t have time. He could only suffer as he watched Yunho caress and fondle your body. He could only watch as your bare body shivered from the cold air. He could only watch as Yunho’s long fingers slip inside your dripping cunt, eager and ready to suck his digits in.

Your body arched towards Yunho, your nipples pressing against his warm cardigan. You had enough of his teasing and rocked your hips but he gripped your hip with free hand, forcing you to stop.

“Did I say you could move, brat?” His eyes were glazed over in either anger or lust. You honestly couldn’t tell.

A whimper escaped your throat, “I’m sorry, Yuyu.”

A smirk painted his cheeks, “There’s a good girl, now behave.”

Jongho couldn’t even touch his neglected cock, too afraid of what Yunho would do. As much as he wanted to fuck his fist right there, he couldn’t. He didn’t want the punishment he knew would come. He just knew Yunho would tie him up with a vibrator tied to his cock head, never letting him cum. He didn’t want that. He couldn’t handle it.

All he wanted was to fuck his girlfriend.

Yunho reached between the two of your bodies and unbuckled his pants, allowing his long and thick cock to slip out, hitting your abdomen.

“I’m gonna fuck you, cum inside, then, we’re go home. And then, you’re gonna lay on the bed, Jongho is gonna fuck you, if he’s a good boy. While he’s doing that, I’m gonna fuck him. Sound good?” Yunho rubbed your waist and pulled out his fingers, your slick sticking to his fingers. A perfect example of how you never wanted to separate from any of your lovers.

“Yes!” You cried out.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir. Please, cum inside, sir!”

“That’s a good girl.” Yunho and Jongho watched as he pushed his cock inside, the sound of you whimpering caught their attention. They couldn’t help but groan.

Yunho was stretching you out so good. You never will get used to it and you know it.

Jongho fisted his shorts. He just couldn’t take the way he watched your cunt suck in Yunho with such ease. It didn’t help that you had eight boyfriends to stretch your hole whenever you wanted. You weren’t loose by any means, you were tight still. But you had such skill to easily take Yunho as big as he is.

Yunho guided your waist up and down, grinning as he saw your face contort into something of pure pleasure. He went to cup your breast, the cold metal of his rings brought shivers to your skin.

You moaned as his cock hit all the right places. The car windows were beginning to steam up from the sex. To top it off, Jongho couldn’t take it anymore and wrapped his fingers around his thick cock, muttering curses under his breath.

A ring of your slick and cum wrapped around Yunho’s cock. His heavy breathing did not help the steamy air, nor the way his hand gripped his girth. He was imagining he was the one inside of you, twisting his fist and pumping with each movement that Yunho made, just to simulate as if he was the one fucking you into oblivion. He knew he’d get his turn but he was impatient.

He’d just have to wait his turn.

Jongho carried you up the stairs, ignoring your other boyfriends calls, it was his turn and he wanted it badly.

Yunho was grinning ear to ear as he followed the two of you to your bedroom.

Jongho threw onto the bed, already stripping himself of his soccer uniform. He was ready to pounce, “Come on, pretty, strip for us.” He gave his standing cock a few strokes and waited in anticipation.

Yunho made his way to the seat in the corner.

When Jongho finally had his cock head to your entrance, you just couldn’t wait and whined for his body to be pressed against yours.

“Jongho, please, hurry, want you inside already.”

“Patience, Y/N.” He grabbed his base and slowly pushed in, groaning as your cunt squeezed his thick girth, “Fuck, Yunho just stretched you out and you’re still tight?” Jongho couldn’t take the way you felt around him, he wanted to cum then and there.

Yunho licked his lips while he watched you struggle to take Jongho, even if he did just fuck you in the car. He wanted to laugh, but kept it to himself. He wasn’t a maniac. Well, maybe a little. He liked making you scream and cry on his cock. With him, Jongho, and Mingi being the biggest cocks out of your eight boyfriends, he knew you struggled to take each one.

It was funny and cute.

Your fingernails scraped along Jongho’s back as he pounded into your hole, sparing no mercy. He was so happy to finally be snug inside.

Your whimpers and moans filled the room, the skin slapping could be heard in the separate rooms. If Seonghwa was home, and in his room you were sure he’d be pissed right now. Seeing as now is around the time he usually studies.

“Come on, Y/N, you can do it. Take my cock like the good girl you are.” Jongho grunted, gripping your waist tightly, “Come on, baby, have this tight cunt make me cum.” He could feel Yunho’s cum each time he fucked into you, the squelching didn’t help it.

“Jongho!” You had your nth orgasm of the night, you couldn’t take it, the overstimulation was becoming unbearable and yet you knew they’d wanna do double penetration. Maybe you could convince them to wait till later. You knew they’d listen to your every word.

Yunho stood up and approached you on the bed, taking your fingers and wrapping them around his cock, “Make me cum again, yeah?”

You could barely focus on pumping the heavy cock in your hands as Jongho went relentless on your cunt, he was getting sloppier which meant he was getting close.

“Fuck, Jongho! Slow down.” Your head snapped up to catch Jongho focusing on the way his cock slipped in and out, the way his tongue hung out of his mouth. It was so hot, but he was getting rough. Which you usually didn’t mind. If you hadn’t already fucked the other monster cock in the room not that long ago.

His cum spurted in ropes, whining as he was finally at his limit, “Oh, baby, so good.” His hair stuck to his forward and he never looked so attractive.

“Jongho..” You whined for him, feeling him pull out.

Yunho lightly smacked your breast to get your attention back on him, “Come on, don’t lose focus on me now.”

Right. You had to give equal attention when fucking more than one of them, “Sorry, Yuyu.” You let go of his cock and leaned over to wrap your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue around.

“Such a good girl..” He groaned and gripped your hair.

Meanwhile, Jongho left for the bathroom to clean himself off and prepare to take care of you once Yunho got his fill.

Yunho was growing impatient and decided to just fuck your face, your gagging only spurred him on.

Your eyes fluttered open to stare up at him and his fucked out face, he also looked so hot and attractive. How lucky you are to have so many loving and hot boyfriends who took care of your every need.

Yunho held your face close to his pelvis so that he cum shot straight down your throat, gulping it all down. He grinned and patted your cheek, “Good girl, did such a good job for us.”

Jongho returned with towels and water, “Geez, Yunho, she looks spent. The hell did you do?”

He shrugged and sat beside you, wiping the cum away from the corner of your lips.

“Eh, who cares. She loved it, didn’t you baby?”

You nodded with a weak smile, “Every time.”

“God, you two are weird.”

“You love us.

“Do I?”

“Jongho!”

“I’m joking, I love you all.”

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #hongjoong smut #x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #seonghwa smut #song mingi #yunho x reader #jongho smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #wooyoung smut

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pascaloverx · 3 months

Text

FELLINGS — EXO K.J

PREVIEW

Summary: You and Jongin live wanting what you two can't have. For example, he wants to win over your best friend and you want him.

Warnings: This fanfic will describe some hot romantic moments and use of inappropriate language. In the future there may be both smut and moderate use of violence. Readers are warned. This fanfic will feature some members of EXO as characters but they are not part of a Kpop group in this scenario.

CHAPTER ONE

The imperfect day definitely exists. Not that your routine days are good, but today is proving to be a challenge. Your best friend was late to tell you that there will be an engagement dinner tonight. She is engaged to her newest boyfriend, who, by the way, despite being handsome, is also controlling. While I was responsible for confirming who will appear. You then went to the office where you work as a secretary for one of the most renowned businessmen.

"You're late, you know?" Kai says as soon as you enter the office. He is wearing a suit that is somewhat clinging to his body. Not that you should notice your boss's body.

"It won't happen again, sir. But I must point out that you almost lying under my desk is unprofessional." You say almost laughing, very subtly. He looks at you with a knowing look as if he liked what you said.

"Blessed is the day I accepted you into the company. That way I wouldn't have met one of the best people in my life and fortunately because of you, I met Luna." Luna is your best friend. Kai is kind in thanking me for having met Luna, as they actually knew each other before I became his secretary. Luna is a friend I made at school where I was a scholarship student during my adolescence. Kai and she were neighbors before Kai's parents sent him on an exchange program to a foreign country, and they lost touch. Years later, at a company gathering, Kai and Luna reunited because of me.

"I don't know if you can thank me for that. I was just the reason for your reunion. Which brings me to remind you that Luna invited you to her engagement dinner. Yes, I've already checked your schedule, and you have the evening free. In fact, you have a meeting with the majority stakeholders in an hour and lunch with that international model who was being considered as our next spokesperson. And your tie… it's a bit crooked." You speak while looking closely at Kai, reaching for the iced Americano he drinks every morning in Kai's hands, fixing his tie and collar. You can never quite explain it, but your fingers always tremble a bit when you touch your boss.

"What would I do without you?" He asks, genuinely smiling, of course, trying to pretend that Luna's wedding isn't affecting him.

"Probably get your own coffee and check your own email. Should I have someone bring your fancy black suit, in case you decide to attend the dinner?" You say as you finish tying Kai's tie. He looks surprised that you already know he's going to decline the invitation but will likely reconsider later.

"Am I going to be judged if I don't go?" He asks, and you laugh. How could your opinion matter in a matter that doesn't concern you?

"Kim Jongin. You're a grown man, and Luna is a grown woman. You have a past that I can't even specify. How could I judge you for not wanting to see the woman you have feelings for getting engaged to someone else?" You speak in an authoritative tone while staring at Kai with the most judgmental facial expression you can muster. After all, shouldn't he be the one to swallow his feelings and witness the person he desires loving someone else, just as he can't see an old flame getting engaged to another?

"I love it when I stress you out enough for you to call me by my name instead of the nickname. Go ahead and have them bring the gray suit I wore to that dinner where I reunited with Luna. I'll be at the damn engagement dinner. I hope you'll be there too," Kai says seriously as he sips his coffee, and you step back a bit. Knowing him for so many years has given you a certain confidence in predicting his actions.

"I'm the maid of honor, of course, I'll be there. But I'm not sure about the time I'll arrive; my boss tends to be very relentless and bossy. You might get there before me." You say in a playful tone. He looks at his phone, replies to two messages, and then turns to you as he prepares to enter the meeting room.

"Send me the address of the dinner, and you can take the rest of the day off. I'll be looking forward to seeing how you handle being a maid of honor." He says seriously, watching your reaction. You shake your head in disbelief.

"I don't need the day off; I'm perfectly capable of handling both business matters and personal affairs. Thought you knew that already." You say, not wanting to spend the day overthinking the upcoming dinner. Kai smiles slyly, as if to say he knows you quite well.

"Y/N, you're my employee and friend. If I give you a day off, just say thank you. And if you want, I'll let you buy a new outfit with the corporate card as a bonus for the hard work you've been putting in. Now, I'm off to my meeting, and if you're not heading home, consider yourself fired. See you later." He says authoritatively, staring at you. You're left speechless, and he walks away while you accept the offer. Sensing that tonight promises several complications, you grab your things and head home.

Continues...

#exo series #exo fanfic #kim jongin #kai x reader #kim jongin x reader #kai masterlist #kim jongin fanfic #reader insert #female reader #exo members #Spotify

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pearlsinmyhair · 1 month

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please more x reader smut with jake or miles, im starving 😭😭

wrong.

a jake sully x fem!human!reader smut fic.

warnings: smut. pnv sex. cunnilingus. overstimulation/multiple orgasms. reader is in her early twenties. daddy kink. use of pet names. squirting. size difference. virgin reader. dilf!jake sully. possibly dark content, if you squint. no beta we die like neteyam (im sorry-).

words: 2.7k

a.n.: ask and ye shall receive! this has been in the cooker for a hot minute. @eddiemunsonguitar this is also for you.

Eywa, it was so wrong. Unbelievably so. So sinful that it made you burn with embarrassment and borderline self loathing every time you weren’t burning with desire.

Desire for a man old enough to be your damn father.

It was innocent enough at first. He was just so big, and caring, and funny. And as you got older, your mind started wandering away from a silly little crush to full blown fantasies. Fantasies of him coming into your room at night, grabbing onto you and having his way with you. Practically ripping off any clothes just to ravish you until you couldn’t so much as move the next day.

And at the center of all these fantasies were none other than Toruk Makto himself. Jake Sully.

How could you be blamed? The crop of scientists, as much as you loved them, hardly sufficed when it came to what you craved in a man. Besides, not one of them would even go near you in anyway other than platonic and parental; they had practically raised you.

You were isolated and horny, with no one and nothing to take your frustration out on. And the only one other than the scientists that regularly visited was the Olo’eyktan. Who never even really looked at you, frankly.

Then again, you didn’t see him up close and personal for the first eighteen years of your life; the first half of which was spent cowering in your room or behind tech, and the second half spent admiring from a distance.

Watching with greedy eyes how his abdomen flexed when he leaned over to study Norm’s tablet, or how his thighs tensed as he crouched, or how his fingers spread when he pointed to something.

You wanted to eat him. You wanted him to eat you.

It was only the night of your twentieth birthday and after one of the female scientists told you about na’vi mating traditions that you hatched your plan.

Reassured by her statements that na’vi didn’t stick to monogamy nearly as much as the typical human did, you put on the gifted tweng and matching top you got from Kiri and Tuk as a gift, strapped your exo pack over your face, and marched into high camp with your head held high.

Jake barely knew you when he first really saw you walking the perimeter of one of the huge fires in the caves of high camp. He knew of you, from Norm and Max and their off handed comments about the spoiled princess in their mix, but he’d never seen her.

‘Spoiled’ had always been a joke- you were a kid, and you had needs that weren’t always easy for them to provide. But they did their best.

His kids had mentioned you too; Kiri was especially fond of you (“Sometimes she’s the only one who really wants to listen to my thoughts. It’s refreshing.” Kiri had snapped one night not too long ago at dinner), and Tuk thought you made a great playmate. Lo’ak had considerably less to say, mostly because you didn’t come out of the Oxygen-Pods nearly as much as Spider did, and therefore you didn’t explore with them. Neteyam had escorted you to fetch a plant for Max’s research once, and claimed you were polite.

That was the extent that he knew.

And damn, he didn’t know shit if this is what you looked like. All long legs and coy smiles and soft giggles.

It was over the instant that you introduced yourself.

You both knew it.

ִ ࣪𖦹

“Fuck, Jake please-“ you whined, wiggling and bucking your hips in an attempt to get away from his flicking tongue. His massive hands held you in place, making your body sink into the mattress of your bed within your room. The poor thing creaked with each push of his hands and movement of your lower half, and you thanked Eywa that you had requested a private living space when you had turned eighteen. You don’t think you could face anyone with apologies for the noise of your late night escapades with the olo’eyktan.

“Hush… ‘m not done.” Jake mumbled into your folds, and you had to fight the urge to kick his chest as another shot of electricity made your whole body twitch.

Two orgasms and this man still wasn’t done. He had practically ripped off your panties as soon as he was through the door, picking you up and (gently) throwing you down on the bed. How long ago was that? An hour? Two? It felt like you were melting at this point, and the slurps of Jake’s mouth on your dripping pussy made you shiver with embarrassment and overstimulation.

“Y’know what to say if you’re done, yeah?” Jake asked, pulling back just enough to make sure his words were audible. Daring to look down, you were met with the sight of strings of your cum and his saliva clinging to his jaw, his lips nearly shimmering and parted as he watched you. He brought a breathing mask to his face as he waited, rubbing soothing circles into your thigh with his unoccupied hand.

You dropped your head and with a frustrated whine, and he slapped his palm against your leg. With a yelp, you gave him an audible affirmative, restating your safe-word. Satisfied, Jake licked a broad stripe from your fluttering hole to your clit, sucking the throbbing bud into his mouth and rolling it on one of his canines. You cried out, the rush of popping sparks and burning pleasure returning.

“Just one more, sweet thing. One more and i’ll give you what you want.” he cooed, nipping your labia and tonguing your entrance.

“Need it now, Jake. Can’t take it anymore.” you nearly wheezed, huffing as you felt the coil in your gut tighten. Something was different from before, tingling just below the hot waves of pleasure rolling through your body.

Tonight, after months of eating you out and finger fucking you, Jake had finally decided to let you take his dick. Only one problem with that. Itsie bitsie, really. Nothing serious.

Just that you were a virgin. And taking a dick over twice the size of a human’s was gonna practically rip you open.

So that’s what got you here, approaching your third goddamn orgasm so maybe, just maybe, your slick would make it easier for him to slide in.

Fuck, you weren’t gonna walk for a week, dick or not.

A flood of ecstasy overwhelmed you, and you felt some kind of tingling between your legs before you were slammed back, white clouding your vision as you cried out.

When you came to and looked down once more, you watched as Jake lapped at the juices adorning your thighs and lower belly, wiping some kind of liquid from his face.

“Y’squirted, baby girl.” he hummed as he kneeled over you, picking you up and adjusting you so that your head rested against your pillows and he could rest his knees on the mattress, situating himself between your thighs.

“Prideful skxawng.” you whispered back, only to be muffled by his mouth on yours as his hands found the backs of your knees.

He pulled back, looked down at you with worried eyes as his gaze traveled between your bodies back up to your face. “You’re sure you want this? It’s not gonna be easy, or painless.”

You shifted up onto your elbows, brushing his blunted nose with your own. “Since when did you decide to be my daddy?” you asked, voice low.

Jake’s reaction was predictably dominating; he hissed low in his throat, pushing his forehead down against yours so that your head landed back on the pillow. He rutted his hips forward, and you whimpered when his dick brushed your oversensitive clit.

“This isn’t time for jokes kid. Talk to me.” he growled, and you sobered quickly as he moved the head of his cock to your entrance, applying pressure so you felt some semblance of the reality of what was about to happen.

Taking a deep breath, you lifted your hands to his face and pulled him down, trying not to think of just how much he had to crane his neck to lean closer. “Just… slow. If it doesn’t fit, then fine.” you tried, swallowing the lump in your throat as Jake nudged you again.

“Trust me, kid, it’ll fit. Stretched you to hell and back not too long ago.” he assured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Just relax.”

“Oh, and let’s not call me ‘kid’ when you’re about to fuck me, yeah?” you snipped, tightening your thighs around his waist.

Jake chucked, muttered a soft “brat.” into your ear that got you to laugh. While you were distracted, he pushed his hips forward and slid the first inch of his dick in.

You squealed, and Jake had to keep his hold on your thighs tight and you tried to move away. Your hands flew to his shoulders, clawing into his skin deep enough to draw blood.

It should have hurt- he should have noticed the stings of pain.

But all he could register was tight, warm walls wrapped around his dick with a vice so harsh he swore they were gonna snap it clean off.

With breaks and whispered praise from him, he gradually suck inch by inch of his think cock into you tight little cunt, until finally, fucking finally, he bottomed out.

Tight. Tight around his tongue, tight around his fingers, but fuck. This was on another level.

You were so good- such a good girl taking all of that length, swallowing every inch he gave you with a few tears and quiet whimpers. He leaned closer, making sure not to rock into you too soon, and kissed at the tears tracking down your face, before finally pressing his mouth to yours, swallowing your soft cries every time you’d accidentally shift your hips or he his.

“Damn, pretty girl. Gonna cut off my blood circulation.” he grunted into your shoulder, and he was rewarded with a breathy laugh from you. Experimentally, he ran a hand down between your bodies, before having to mentally convince himself not to burst at what he found.

Leaning up, he looked down at the bulge in your tummy, running a hand over it before looking to your eyes. He found you looking down with awe, wide eyed and dropped jaw at the bump.

Jake placed his palm over it, and pressed down.

The moan you let out was sinful, so desperate and pleased that he nearly rammed into you just out of instinct. But he reminded himself to take it slow as he pulled out, feeling the warmth of your pretty pussy leave him, before pushing back in.

Eywa, Jake was huge.

Of course you knew he would be- you’re not delusional. But damnit, it was almost too much. Your legs quivered with each slow thrust of Jake’s hips, and you buried your face into his shoulder to quell some of your noises. It hurt. Hurt more than anything you’d experienced before. You were quite sure Jake would leave a permanent space for himself inside of you with how you were stretching.

Jake stroked his thumb against your skin where his hand still cupped the back of your thighs, pressing your knees up near your shoulders to get more leverage. The cot gave another soft squeak at the shift in weight, and for a moment you and Jake laughed, finding humor in the absurdity of fucking you into a rickety mattress in a room that Jake couldn’t fully stand up in.

The bulge in your tummy was only a physical manifestation of what you felt: fucking full. You could have cum just at the sight of it there, and by the foggy look in Jake’s eyes, so could he.

“Jake-“ you whispered, though it came out as more of a punched-out wheeze. “Move.”

His eyes flicked to yours for a moment, checking for any hesitation. When he found none, he shifted back on the bed, pulling away. You could feel the emptiness he left behind, and you opened your mouth to protest.

Before you could utter a word, Jake’s hands shifted from your thighs to your hips, and promptly rammed his cock back into you.

You screamed, the rush of pleasure and twinge of pain making you throw your head back as your hands flew to his shoulders, grounding yourself as he repeated the motion. You could feel him, deep inside of you, pressing against your cervix, his tip threatening to push past the barrier and straight into your womb.

That should have scared you, but it only made you rock your hips up to meet Jake’s with each thrust, reveling in the slick slide of his dick against your walls.

“Fucking hell, baby-“ he all but hissed, pinning your legs up again. “Taking this dick so well.”

You whined in response, trying and failing to assemble some kind of sentence to give him. Fucked out and cock drunk from just a few thrusts. How pathetic a sight you were. But no matter how humiliated you would feel later, right now you were confronted will all consuming pleasure and fullness.

Jake was confronted with the view of tears leaking from your eyes and drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, whining and moaning weakly as he continued to pound into you. He was sure he wasn’t much better, anyway. Jesus, he thought maybe you’d loosen, only to be met with a tight clench of your tight little cunt around his cock when he hit your g-spot.

Everything was on fire. Your body, your mind, your pussy. Fuck, you needed to cum. You needed to fucking cum.

“Daddy-“ you whined, finally meeting Jake’s eyes as he bent over you, letting his nose brush yours.

“I know, baby girl. Go ahead and cum around daddy’s cock. Make him proud.” he grunted out, feeling his own release pool deep in his stomach as he tucked his face into the space between your shoulder and jaw.

His permission was all it took for something inside to finally snap, and you could feel yourself gush around Jake’s dick as your whole body trembled, thighs shaking even as Jake held them. After a few beats the pleasure turned into overstimulation, and your moaning became sobs, whimpering into Jake’s shoulder for him to cum already-

Jake shuffled closer to press himself as far in as he could as he felt the coil in his stomach tighten one last time, and sunk his teeth into your shoulder, tasting salt and iron as his release filled your core.

You barely even protested, your body jumping slightly under his at the pain, but otherwise you were limp in his arms. Jake pulled back to look at you, letting one of your legs go and bringing his hand to your cheek. “Hey…” he murmured softly, running his tongue over the dribble of blood from the bite mark marring your skin, waiting for you to come down.

“Hey…” you responded after a second, pushing weekly at his shoulder in an attempt to get him to stop prodding at the wound. Jake chuckled and shifted.

“Pulling out.” he warned you, before pulling himself out of you with a wet squelch. If you weren’t thoroughly fuck out, you would have blushed. But right now, all you wanted to do was curl up and sleep.

Jake chuckled once more, curling next to you and cradling your body against his chest as you began to drift off. “Are you alright?” he asked, his tail curling around your thigh as his hand ran over your back.

“Mhm.” you managed, pressing a kiss to his pectoral as he hitched one of your legs around his waist. “Just gonna be sore in the morning.”

He hummed in agreement, glancing at the bruises on your hips and waist from his hands. Jake knew he should have felt bad for it, and yet his chest hummed with pride at the sight of the physical evidence of him on your body.

Mine.

He pressed a kiss to your head as your breathing evened out, feeling his own eyes grow heavy.

“We’ll worry ‘bout it in the morning, baby. Just rest.” he whispered.

And with an ache between your legs and dripping warmth in your core, you did just that, already drifting away into sleep as his body calmed against yours.

#— jake my beloved #jake sully x reader smut #dilf!jake sully #dilf jake sully x reader #avatar the way of water #avatar #jake sully #the way of water #avatar x reader #jake sully x reader

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dazed--xx · 1 year

Text

Breathless

Member: Hyunjin x reader

Word count: 21.3K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Joshua-Seventeen, Chanyeol-Exo

Trigger warnings: SMUT, toxic relationships, ANGST, oral sex, breeding kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), fake texts, mentions of alcholism (By side character), mentions of cheating, mentions of medical issues, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: I wanted to start writing for other groups for a while, and i watched the Case 143 comeback and just fell down a Stray Kids rabbit hole again so i decide to write this i hope you guys enjoy, let me know if you want a part two. also i do commissions, personally i dont like buy me a coffee but i do have cashapp, paypal and venmo if you ever want to get a commission i do still have a buy me a coffee as well anyway enjoy

“Can't you stay?”

Your voice is shaky as you look at him with hope filled eyes. You could tell even just from looking at his back, as an annoyed sigh is released from his lips, he had rolled his eyes. “Cant. Sorry” He states matter of factly. He wasn’t sorry... you knew he wasn’t; he never was. He always said it anytime you'd ask, never giving a reason beyond ‘cant’ yet you still find yourself asking “w-why not?” your tone is so soft you don’t even register the words had actually come out until he snaps “I mean it's not really your business is it?” quickly turning to face you as he forces his shirt on. “Does it matter?” your teeth capture your bottom lip as you hold the blanket over your bare chest. Your gaze avoiding his glare “I guess not...” the familiar prick behind your eyes has your vision blurring. You hear your bedroom door open “H-have fun I guess....” you call to him only to be met with the sound of the door closing.

Of course, not.... You hadn't expected as much anyway.

In the past 10 months of your relationship with him you have learned plenty of things about Hwang Hyunjin. He was a passionate dance major, spending more time in the dance studio than in his own dorm. He had a love for art, with dozens of classic paintings littering his dorm. Along with his own. He was independent, charming, and undeniably gorgeous. But he was also cold, distant, and lacked social etiquette. He was quick to tell you exactly what was on his mind whether it hurt or not. If he chose not to vocalize his disinterest; his expression was an open book for all to read anyway. He enjoyed the party lifestyle, if his social media was anything to go by, he’d often be spotted in the background of photos with his best friends; Seo Changbin and Han Jisung.

Everyone in your university wanted at least one of them. Most of the female population had a ‘night to remember’ story with either one of them. They were blunt and honest about their lack of commitment, only needing a warm body as a temporary place holder in their beds.

Relationships were off the table. Sure, they’d be down for a good time here or there but in Jisung’s own words “Relationships equal clingy annoying problems” which is why you were so surprised when Hyunjin asked for exclusivity oh so matter of factly last year. You had been sleeping together on and off after your dance instructors paired you up for your first joint project between both of your classes. It had been a late night in the studio running through one of your last rehearsals before evaluations. You weren't sure if it was the close sensual nature of the choreography, thanks to Hyunjin, or the ambiance in the dimly lit studio but as the song came to its conclusion; both of your chests heaving against each other, your eyes meet. Your bottom lip finds its way in between your teeth. His hand caressing your cheek as his thumb traces over your bottom lip “Fuck......Don't. Don’t do that” his voice full of something unfamiliar to you. “Do what?” you ask innocently your hands grip his shirt. His hold on you tightens around your waist, pulling you closer into his slim muscular figure. The tip of his tongue brushes over his plush lips. Your cheeks and ears burn a bright scarlet. Looking back, you weren't entirely sure who initiated it but soon, your lips meet. Shortly after you felt the cool glass mirror against your bare chest as Hyunjin attacked your core. His thrusts ruthless until you reached a mind-bendingng orgasm. Youd only realized your mistake afterward when he quickly fixed his clothes and ran out the door.

You took the loss in stride. Avoiding the topic during the last 2 weeks of rehearsal, acting as if it never happened. You never stayed alone with him longer than necessary, you'd pull away the moment the song came to an end even though sometimes he’d try to hold you in place for a while longer. Youd make sure the studio was properly lit at all times. Only texting him about rehearsals and quickly dismissing his selfies and flirty remarks. You would begin spending your lunch in the university library when Jisung set his sights on your best friend, Karina, and he and his best friends began impeding on your time with your best friends. Only truly having to come face to face with Hyunjin at your evaluation.

As the song came to a close you ripped yourself from Hyunjin’s grasp, thanked the judges for their time, collected your phone and made your way out of the studio and into the locker room. Reaching your locker, you force your dance bag out of its confinement. A sigh of relief is released from your throat. Your eyes focusing on the mirror you kept on the back wall; you steady your breathing. Closing the door, the need to shower now replacing your anxiety. Turning toward the private showers your face is met with a wall of muscle. The familiar cologne fills your nostrils, dread fills your stomach as you silently beg the ground to swallow you whole. “Sorry” you murmur as you attempt to make your way around him. A small ‘tsk’ is heard from above you as he places himself in front of you again. “Do you have a problem or something?” you snap. An amused smirk finds its way to his plush lips. Damn you Hwang, you think to yourself, as he shrugs and shakes his head. “Why are you avoiding me?” He pouts. You hate how your heart races “I'm not” you shrug “Just no reason for us to interact anymore” his eyebrows scrunch together his pout only growing at your words “You don’t want me anymore?” needless to say you ended that interaction pressed against the shower wall his lips attached to your neck as he guides you on his shaft. Only for the cycle to continue over and over until your presence in each other's lives was nonstop. Then one day he had asked you to be his girlfriend with a nonchalant shrug, murmuring back a shy ‘yes’ and 10 months later your cat and mouse game continued.

Apart from the occasional quickie or stolen kiss, you rarely see the man that claims to be your boyfriend. Your offers to accompany him to the studio remain declined, stolen moments with him moved from the library study rooms to either one of your dorms in the late hours of the night. You should have seen his rejection coming; it's all he’s ever done. His friends, the studio, parties all get more of Hyunjin’s time than you. With the summer coming to an end and the dance studio finally opening up again tonight, you knew immediately he’d go; especially with it being all the other dance majors can talk about due to the party being held there.

“UM....HELLOOO!!!” your dormmate Lia, exclaimed as she snapped in front of your eyes pulling you out of your trance. You glare at her petite frame. “Busy in wonderland there, Alice?” she giggles. “HA.HA. You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” you quip. “Anyway...what's up?” you question adjusting the blanket, Lia places a pout on her lips “I need a favor”

“If it's buying condoms for you again the answer is no” you growl.

“No, smartass. Not this time, but I'm really busy studying for the stupid exam I have tomorrow since my psychology professor is a psychopath and Yeji is sick do you think you can run and grab some medicine for her?” she pleads. You smirk at her “What if I was busy?”

“With what? Hwang left already. You’re going to spend the rest of the night in bed. Like you always do” she snarls before she turns and makes her way out the door.

“Love you. Goodnight.” she calls

______________________________________________________________

You couldn’t help but get lost in the beauty that is Jongno-gu, walking along the river toward Yeji’s off campus dorm. Your eyes drift to the beautiful lights that decorate the road indicating the little restaurants and shops. An envious feeling grows in the pit of your stomach as a young man chases his girlfriend around the gorgeous area; smiles plastered on their faces as he finds his arms encasing her from behind. Lucky....you think to yourself. If only you were more like Lia or Yeji or Karina. You take a single pause in your movements. A memory growing in your mind of you having to spend your last paycheck at your summer job your senior year on bail for Karina due to her ex cheating on her and her taking a bat to his car and him. Okay maybe not Karina......you thought. The whirring of an engine cutting your thoughts off as a single headlight blinds you. You force yourself right and collide with the hard concrete. Brushing your hair out of your face before you dust off your legs. Pulling yourself off the ground, you notice the motorcyclist shoving the bike off his leg. “Oh my god! Are-Are you okay?” Your eyes widen in panic as you rush toward the driver. He unbuckles his helmet and pulls it off.

Your heart races as honey blonde hair begins blowing subtly in the small wisps of wind. His brown eyes sitting in a scowl. You couldn’t help but stare at his heart shaped plush lips, noticing the freckles that litter his face.

Fuck...

He was absolutely mesmerizing. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the roar of multiple engines. His eyes widen as he stares in the direction he came, tossing his helmet into your arms he takes off in the direction you had just come from. Your eyes widen as you stare down at the glossy black and red headgear. “E-Excuse--” you tried to call after him as 4 motorbikes whip past you following after the mystery man. You contemplate just leaving the helmet on the bike and returning to your task. You groan to yourself as you notice the headlight still on and the idling of the engine. You stomp your foot in frustration.

Ughh this is so not worth my time....

You notice the bikes disappearing in the distance. Taking the helmet and placing it on the ground before you grab the handlebars of the motorcycle and after a long struggle you were finally able to lift it. Bringing the kickstand down you place the helmet on the seat. The tightness in your chest from the unexpected work out has you reconsidering if you care if the bike got stolen or not; the owner obviously didn’t. You stare in the direction of Yeji’s place noticing the beautiful welcoming lights. You growl to yourself as you slowly lift the kickstand taking hold of the handlebars once again you drag the vehicle in the direction its owner dashed to. Your eyes roam the area as you wearily drag the bike along in search of its owner. You notice a group of motorcycles in the parking lot to the docks. Hiding the bike behind the dumpster in front of said lot. Helmet in your arms, you quietly make your way toward the sound of shouting. You can hear them getting louder as you stand against a pilar attached to the side of the dock. You notice the honey blonde stranger dashing toward the end of the pier you were currently on. You thanked God no one saw you as they dashed past you. You throw your head back in relief and in an instant a sharp pain rings through the back of your skull.

You groan placing your hand over your mouth and rolling your eyes at your foolishness. Your heart sinks into your ass as red and blue lights begin to come from behind you and the loud wail of a siren rings through the air. Your eyes widen in bewilderment as you quickly try to find an off switch on the unexpectedly placed 112 help box. You can hear the sounds of the boys retreat as you continuously hit the box. The siren finally coming to a halt.

You let out a sigh of relief as you slowly back out from your hiding spot. Your back meeting a warm wall. where one previously was not; you jump at the contact, whipping around you come face to face with the angelic honey blonde stranger. A gasp escapes your throat at the sudden closeness, his lips were drawn in a straight line, arms crossed over his chest. “Are you a stalker or something?” he questions, you were shocked at the amount of bass in his voice. Your eyebrows scrunch together letting out an annoyed scoff as you turn to leave. A ‘tsk’ is released from his lips as his hand grabs your hood and pulls you back into his chest; his arm snakes around your waist. You turn your head to face him, your heart races as your noses brush. Your eyes widen as you pull back, your eyes roaming over his face. They land on his alluring heart shaped lips. You wondered what it would be like to kiss them, though you don’t believe they’d feel as good as Hyunjin’s, they do look quite soft. Butterflies danced in your stomach, as his lips turned up into an amused smirk “What are you looking at?” He quips. Your face is painted a bright scarlet as you force yourself from his arms “Bye!” you call as you dash toward the direction of Yeji’s place. You can hear his deep raspy voice calling toward you as you continue your escape; completely and utterly embarrassed. Your legs refusing to stop until you finally reach Yeji’s door. Knocking as you try to catch your breath.

“Finally,” Yeji declares as she swings open her door. Her cheeks a rosy, pink, lilac fluffy blanket enveloping her petite figure. “Where the hell did you get a helmet?”

______________________________________________________________

You hate Mondays.

And not in the Garfield way or the ‘79 school shooter way. You just hate them with a passion from today on. After yesterday's rounds with Hyunjin and the motorcycle debacle your body is absolutely sore and ready to give up on itself. Regretting even getting out of bed, you stare tiredly at the gates of the university. You scowl at the crowds of people with happy smiles on their faces, coffee in hand. A yawn escapes from your throat before you could stop it, you notice a small crowd standing under the cherry blossom tree. Your hair races as you recognize the familiar blonde tresses, a smile on his lips as he slightly shoves Jisung. You take a small step forward before your movements halt; a petite brunette and what you could assume to be her friends came into to view. Her hand lay on Hyunjin’s bicep before she slowly trails it along his arm. He smiles at her leaning in and whispering something in her ear. A gut-wrenching sting fills your stomach as your throat burns with jealousy when you see him remove a petal from her hair and stroke a stray hair behind her ear. Your breathing grows shaky as tears threaten to fall.

A manicured hand snapping in your face forces you to pull your attention away from the pair. You smile as a coffee is handed to you; a pair of arms are wrapped around your neck as you come face to face with your childhood best friend, Yoo Ji-Min (who’d kill you if you called her anything but Karina. Her new name she had claimed when she declared she wanted to be an idol 5 years ago). “What are we staring at?” she questions as she places her cheek against yours releasing you from her grasp as she notices the pair. “Seriously?” she scoffs. You shake your head at her tone “They're just talking....” you mumble. She crosses her arms over her chest “Thats why I found you alone instead of over there like last year?” she growls. You shrug in response “I don’t want to bother with it right now, I'm so tired”

“What are you doing for your intro solo today?” she asks, your whole-body tenses as your eyes widen in realization “crying?” you respond. “You?! The queen of having everything planned down to the second of a song doesn’t have a plan? Like no choreo at all?” Karina gasps as she drags you along the path to the dance building. “Don't remind me, okay? I went through too much last night! And no are you crazy of course I have some choreo it's just not........up to my standards I guess” you whine as you stomp your foot pressing your chest against her arm with your chin sitting on her shoulder. “So then, you're ready” she smirks wrapping her arm around your shoulders. “You over think these things Y/N you need to relax honestly, you're a great choreographer and you're only in your second semester! Your dance is fine” she reassures you.

You shrug in response “Not this time....” your eyes can't help but drift to the pair once again. The girl leaned against the cherry blossom tree, Hyunjin stood a little too close as she giggled at something he was saying. “No! THIS time I decided ‘oh let's be special lets at stunts’ and then completely forget I even had to do the damn dance and now I'm going to make a complete fool of myself. The instructor already emailed me personally to tell me she was looking forward to my solo specifically, I can’t go in there and fall on my---BIKE!!!!” Your whines were cut off by a loud shout and the familiar roar of an engine grew louder. Hearing it come closer and closer to you, you whip your head around only to see the familiar silhouette of a motorcycle barreling toward you; quickly wrapping both of your hands around Karina’s arms you shove her back with your back pressed against her chest. Your heart races as you notice the black and red bike. Your eyes flashing to the driver, “no. Way...." You whisper to yourself in disbelief as the driver cuts off the engine and pulls off the matte black helmet. The same angelic glowing stupid face...you think to yourself. You notice a group of guys greeting him with warm cheers and hugs. A glare sits on your face as anger courses through your veins like venom. Releasing your hold on Karina you stomp your way over to the honey blonde boy.

He smiles as your eyes meet; your hands quickly meet his chest as you shove him back. A loud ‘oh’ is heard from the small crowd of boys. “That is the second and last time you almost kill me with that thing” you exclaim as you shove him again. His hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you into his chest. Fighting against his hold you notice the smug smirk on his lips. Your knee jerks into his thigh. He jumps at the close call. “If you don’t want me to hit you there let me, go cause that was the warning shot.” you growl. “Are you calm?” he questions. “I won't hit you again if that’s what you're asking” at your words his grip is released on your waist.

As soon as you were free you punched his arm

“You said!”

“I lied! Do you have a thing for almost running me over or can you just not see for shit?” He places his finger in his chin as if he were thinking “I think it’s a you thing” You glare at him “I should have let your stupid bike get stolen” you grumble as you turn to return to Karina. Your movements are brought to a halt as you notice all eyes on you. Your eyes drift over the crowd as you feel a hand on your wrist. You turn your head to the owner “Wait.” he smiles. Your heart races as your eyes meet “w-what?”

“You still have my helmet, gorgeous” he whispers in your ear. Your eyes widen in realization as you pull away from him. “Fuck! I do!” You exclaim “I'm so sorry I'll bring it to you tomorrow” your eyes fall on Karina who looked on in amusement a mischievous glint in her eye. Looking past her, you notice Hyunjin’s attention fully on you; a scowl on his face his arm wrapped in Jisung’s grip. “She your girlfriend Lixie?” One of his friends teased as you stomp past them. You glare at him, Bang Chan, the school's number 1 in academics a senior. Deciding it's better to just let it go you shake your head and stomp away.

Karina rushes to your side, her hands quickly wrapping themselves around your arm as she drags you toward the dance building.

“Explain. Now.” she demands

______________________________________________________________

You can't help the smile that remains planted on your lips as you enter the dance studio. Dropping your bags in the corner and out of the way you drag Karina to the center of the room and dropping into your position for stretching. The studio always made you find a sense of relief and comfort. You loved the way you’d lose yourself in the choreography. You were quite flexible; taking advantage of the gymnastics and taekwondo skills you’ve acquired over the years now making you able to include high level stunts in your routines. While you wouldn’t say you were the best dancer in your major, you could argue you were in the top 15. Changing from your legs open to spreading into a straddle you grasp Karinas hands as she slowly lays back.

“Damn Y/N, if I knew you could do that, I definitely would have hit that before Hwang” Jisung whispered in your ear, a scoff is released from your throat as your head whips around to see Jisung only a couple of inches from your face. Your eyes widen as you pull your head farther away from his face. “What is wrong with you?” You question in disgust as a black boot comes in contact with Jisung’s ribcage kicking him over. Your eyes trail up the person's figure, only to be met with your boyfriend's bored expression focused on you his hands sitting in his pockets. You quickly look away as your cheeks heat up, butterflies fluttering all over your stomach. “It was a fucking joke....” Jisung mumbled, as he glides across the floor next to Karina “Kiss it better?” he pouts to her. You feel a warmth surrounding you, a pair of arms wrapping around your waist. You notice Jisung staring awestruck at Karina while she did her split stretching one up and leaning back. “Do that on me please” He begs her, her cheeks burn a bright scarlet. You feel Hyunjin’s fingers losing themselves in your hair as he places his face in your neck. You tangle your fingers in his hair, a shy smile growing on your face; your ears and cheeks burning a bright scarlet at the new action.

“Oh my god! Why are you here?” Karina snaps both of your eye's flash to her and Jisung who now had his head on her shoulder “Aren't you a music major?” He lifts his head from her and places his hand on his chest “You’re keeping tabs on me?!” A sly smirk grows on his face “You should just let me give you what you want baby”

“I'd rather fuck a double-edged sword” She growls.

“Can I watch?”

“Why are you such a fan? Huh Simp Boy?”

“You act like you don’t want me” Jisung counters, his eyebrow raised. You shake your head as you roll your eyes. “Ladies” you interrupt “You’re both pretty” you groan before you reluctantly pull yourself from Hyunjin’s grasp and stand up. You can feel his eyes on you as you make your way toward the water fountain. “Where are you going?” Karina calls. “Away from whatever the fuck is going on with you two” you retort.

Taking a deep breath, you feel the uncomfortable pressure that filled you once Hyunjin’s arms encased you. That’s odd... you thought Hes never done anything like that before.

You remember the scowl embedded on his face, Jisung’s hand wrapped firmly around his wrist. You know you'd have to explain the interaction......possibly, judging by the way he, himself, was flirting with another girl this morning he more than likely wouldn’t even care. You laugh at the irony; you don’t understand why you felt so guilty when he didn’t, yet you did. “Wow helmets leave some water for the fish” A familiar deep velvety voice rings from behind you. You hate how annoyingly sexy you find it----Helmet?!?! A glare forms on your eyes as you turn to face him. “Are you stalking me or something?” A bright smile is brought to his face, your heart flutters at the action, a warmth grows in your stomach.

“Why, Helmet you seem to think highly of yourself” He quips, his eyebrow raised “Why? you into that sort of thing?” he winks. Your mouth falls agape at his question. How could someone that looks so angelic be such a.........demon. “Stop calling me that! My name is Y/N”

“Well do I have my helmet?”

“Well, no but---But nothing until I have my very expensive helmet back, you'll be whatever I call you” He cut you off “You'll have it tomorrow until then-------OKAY PEOPLE! I don’t have all day so I’ll make this quick. Places! I'm explaining this one time and one time only. You will all be doing your intro solos if you aren't prepared that’s not my problem; everyone got the email. Everyone will be required to perform a routine that best represents your dance style; you will then be paired up with another person that’s style matches your own. They will be your partner for the rest of the semester. Any Questions?” The instructor declared as she barreled through the double doors, dropping her bag and placing herself at the head of the room. Everyone's eyes roamed around the room as the stragglers began to join the semi-circle that had formed due to the instructor's abrupt entrance. You notice a familiar pixie like brunette in your place beside Hyunjin.

Great......she's here too.... you thought to yourself.

“Okay! Yang Ye-na you're up” the instructor calls as the girl stands from her spot and makes her way to the center of the room. You grow envious at the winks her and Hyunjin exchange. You notice the darkness in his eyes as he stares her down. Embarrassment fills you as you beg the ground to swallow you whole. Tears burn your eyes at the realization, He doesn’t care......You were so fucking stupid to think you were different; that he wanted you and only you. Of course, he’d want her, she was absolutely flawless. Her beautiful wavy hair pulled up in a half up half down style; her bangs framed her face perfectly. Her body was curvy in all the right places while you were just average. Hyunjin was practically a god, why would he actually waste his time on you when he could be with women on his level. You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sounds of applause. Quickly joining in with your peers, you clap unenthusiastically.

The rest of the performances flew by, you received high praises for your choreography to ‘Unholy’ by Sam Smith. Yet, you quickly placed yourself where you previously sat and tucked your face behind your hair. Continuing your train of (over) thought. Going through the motions as everyone performed but Karina. You couldn’t help yourself when your best friend performed. Your applause louder than the rest of the class as her song came to its conclusion. A proud smile on your face. “Okay! That was the final dancer, good job everyone.” the instructor calls as she tapes a paper to the mirror. “Here are your partners” she declares as she walks toward the back of the room. Everyone quickly rushed over to the list.

Choi Yeonjun-Han Eunji

Han Jisung-Yoo Ji-Min

Hwang Hyunjin-Yang Ye-na

Jung Wooyoung- Hwang Yeji

Kang Chanhee-Kwon Eunbin

Lee Juyeon-Kim Min-Jeong

Lee Minho-Lee Chae-yeon

Lee Yongbok-Park Y/N

Son Dongju-Lee Seoyeon

Your heart sank in your chest as Karina grasped your arm examining the list. A scowl grows on her flawless feature. Her mouth hanging open as she internally rages. “NO!” she finally exclaims. You hear a chuckle from behind you, turning around your met with Jisung standing with an arrogant smirk “It's like were meant to be or something” He laughs. Karina fakes a gag as she shoves her way out of the crowd. Jisung reaches out to her “But Baby!” you couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. Shoving your own way out, you notice Hyunjin and Ye-na huddled in the corner by the speaker. A smile planted on his lips as he sat beside her. Your eyebrows scrunch together as they shift closer. You knew his reputation but at least last year he was fucking subtle. Why'd he even ask you out? You wonder to yourself. It's not like he actually acted like he was in a relationship. It was always late-night booty calls when no one could dare catch either of you leaving the others dorm. Your texts typically go unanswered and if he does take the time to respond it's always one or two words. You notice his hand now placed on her knee, as he stared at her. Wow you thought to yourself.

Your view of the pair is blocked by the one person you wished you'd never have to deal with again. “WOW!” you roll your eyes at his enthusiasm. You notice Hyunjin and Ye-na's attention leaving each other and turning it to the loud boom of the boys' voice in front of you. You finally plant your eyes on his face, his eyes are squinted adorably as his heart shaped lips formed an angelic smile. “Looks like were partners, Helmet” He states happily “It's like fate. Maybe you're like my soulmate or something?” you groan in response “or god just hates me....” you stomp your foot, grabbing your water bottle from the ground and shoving past him toward Karina.

“C’mon Helmet, don’t break my heart already” He whined as he followed you wrapping his arm around your shoulder and jostling your hair. “Yah! Do you want to die?!” you threaten as you shove him off you and fix your hair. You hold back a laugh as, Yongbok apparently, trips over his feet and comes colliding with the person walking past. Your hand smacks over your mouth as you snicker while he bows his head at the person mumbling a quick apology before springing up and reaching for you. You hold your arm out your finger pointed at him “No, whatever it is youre planning. Unplan it” you warn as you take a step back. He feigns innocence shaking his head and holding his hands up in surrender.

“Cute” he states matter of factly

“What?”

“Nothing just the fact that you thing you're scary is cute”

“Okay. No.” you hear from behind Yongbok before you feel a strong grip on your arm as you are whisked toward the door. Your eyes land on your captor, the familiar mop of blonde hair. Your eyes widen as you look at Karina pleading for her help. She sat comfortably in her position giving you a knowing smirk.

You stumbled on your feet as Hyunjin continued to drag you out of the studio. You struggle to stay up right as to you tried to keep up with his pace. Your nerves build as he pulls you into an empty studio locking the door before he shoved you against the wall. A loud ‘THUD’ rings through the room. Your eyes drift over his flawless features, an irritated glare planted on his eyes. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” he growls wrapping his hand around your throat sending a shock to your core. Your eyebrows scrunch together as a confused pout forms on your lips “W-what?” He presses his body against yours “Dont act fucking stupid” he snaps his grip getting tigher on your throat making your panties grow wet. “Hyun, I really don’t know what youre tal---Why was he all over you?” he cuts you off. You’re completely awestruck at his question. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief, the words not coming to you

His patience grew thinner as each second passed. You hate to admit it to yourself but he has you absolutely soaked. “I-its not like that” you finally mutter “I just met him”

“When?”

“When what?”

“when did you meet him?” he asks “you two seem.....comfortable” you almost laugh at the irony, he had some nerve that’s for sure. “I mean its not really your business is it?” you quip throwing his words from last night back at him “Does it matter?” you see a fire grow in his eyes “so what? Youre fucking him now?” He spits. An offended scoff is released from your throat “Sure, I mean its not like youre the only person I've fucked for the past few months.” You argue.

“Does he know that?”

“Does Ye-na?” you counter.

A smug smirk grows on his lips, as his eyes drift to your lips. “Does he know how hard I fuck you?” Hyunjin asks as he turns you around pressing your chest against the cool wall. You whine at his rough action. “I just met him!” you declare “Yet he has a little name for you” His nip at your ear, his fingers tangling themselves in your hair gripping it roughly and forcing your head back. You groan internally at the mention of the new nickname. You hate how easily Hyunjin turns you into a whimpering pleasing mess for him. His arousal evident as he presses his member against you. His lips brush over your ear, his free hand trailing over your jaw before gripping your chin and forcing you to face him. Your bottom lip finds its way in-between your teeth. Your eyes connecting once more, his grasp on your hair tightens. Suppressing a moan, you squeeze your thighs together pressing your ass firmly against his hard member.

Your breaths fill the air as your body trembles in arousal and hints of fear. You’ve never seen Hyunjin this mad or angry in general. His eyes burned holes into you, your eyes flashing behind him. Your body jumps when you feel his soft plush lips on your throat; fingers wrapping in his hair pulling him closer to you. It was no secret to anybody, including Hyunjin, that you were weak for him. Even if you typically would not stand for half of the things, he put you through you still find yourself making excuses for it time and time again. Yet, in moments like this, where you can see that glint in his eye you can trick yourself into thinking you were more than a temporary fascination. You hate how badly you want him despite his previous actions in the day. You’ve never been the bratty type, but the look on Hyunjin’s face unlocks a new part of you. You’ve never thought to actually test Hyunjin’s limits and see how far you could take things like he’s done oh so many times before. Still, you can't find yourself stopping the words before they come out.

“Hes cute isn't he?” A mischievous smirk plays on your lips. “And he’s my dance partner. You never know what could happen when you have to be so......close” you whisper in his ear seductively. You could practically feel yourself dripping in anticipation when you feel Hyunjin’s body tense against yours; Pulling back you can't help the warmth that grows in your chest when you notice the panicked expression painting Hyunjin’s face. His jaw clenches as his strong grip returns to your hair pulling you forward so your faces were only centimeters apart. “You wanna repeat that? I don’t think I heard you correctly” He challenges, you knew this was your one and only chance to take back what you said but you felt a little rebellious considering he was all but sucking face with Ye-na; so instead you chuckle “Don’t worry babe, you’ll always be my favorite” using another one of his infamous lines. You can see why he always antagonizes you when you berate him for never knowing when to draw the line; because the panicked look on his face and possessive grip he holds on to you has you ready to risk it all.

“I better be your only” He growls as he shoves your faces closer together finally closing the space between your lips. You moan at the contact; his hand releases your chin wrapping itself around your waist pulling you deeper into his form. His teeth nibbling at your bottom lip “only me, baby” he whines against your lips “Hyun, you know I only want you” you reassure between kisses. You whine as he pulls himself away and releases his grip on your hair. A look of confusion falls on your face as you turn to look at him. A squeak is released from your throat as his arms encase your waist. His lips attack your neck leaving a wet trail along his path to your sweet spot. You whimper against him as your hands find their way under his shirt, roaming along his muscular torso. You feel a shock run down your spine and into your core as he sucked roughly on the sensitive skin leaving a large purplish red mark, as his fingers dance along the waistband of your leggings. “All mine...” he groans in your ear, the roughness in his voice making you almost cum in your panties. You nod in excitement at his words as his hand plunges into your waistband. Not wasting anytime, he quickly enters your panties his fingers teasing your slit.

You jump at the feeling, a whimper forcing its way out. “Can he make your pretty pussy this wet?” He questions as he rubs circles into the bud. You shake your head in response; He brings his fingers to a halt. You practically cry “D-daddy, please...” you beg grasping at the waistband of his joggers. “Use your words, baby” He teases “Can your little dance partner make your pussy as wet as daddy does?” You bite your lip as he begins his motions again “N-No” you moan. Hyunjin brings his lips centimeters from yours; your lips brushing ever so slightly as he continued his toying with your sensitive clit.

“No what?”

“He doesn’t even get me wet at all daddy”

Hyunjin gives you a faux pout “Aww baby, that’s cause even this tight little pussy knows who owns it” you nod in response, your eyes roll to the back of your head as he plunges two digits into your hole. His lips connect with yours as he roughly begins pumping his fingers into your core hitting the familiar bundle of nerves deliciously. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip before groaning and forcing his tongue into your mouth. You moan against his lips as his tongue dominates your mouth. Your hand palming him over his joggers, “Yeah you're doing so good, you only want to be good for me, huh baby?” His voice is rough, lips swollen as he presses his forehead against yours; his hips buck into your hand. “Y-yes daddy” you whimper “no one but you” His lips press against yours hungrily, his fingers thrusting mercilessly; you nibble on his bottom lip as your hands roam over his body. Your mouth hangs open as a familiar knot builds in your stomach. “I-I'm gonna---” your words are cut off as Hyunjin’s pace speeds up bringing you over the edge. “Fuck cum for me” He groans as his lips attack your throat. “Only daddy could make you feel this good baby, fuck... you got my cock so fucking hard” You can only respond with a moan, your fingers run through his hair pulling him deeper into you. Your legs are shaking as you come down from your high. He pulls his hand out of your pants lifting his fingers to your mouth. You connect your eyes as you bring his fingers into your mouth, his mouth hangs open at the action; pupils blown out.

“You look so pretty when you act like a little slut for me, baby” He coos

Your cheeks heat up at the praises, unable to hide your smile you bury your face in his neck. You hear a chuckle rumble through his chest, his arms tighten around your waist pressing you against him. Your cheeks burn a bright scarlet under his gaze, you pull back from him. His eyes are hooded, lust clouding over them. His tongue traces over his bottom lip, before connecting them with yours once more. A gasp is released from your throat as your back is pressed against the wall, his hand running down your thigh lifting your leg at the knee pressing you even deeper against him. Your hips buck at the contact of his clothed member “Are you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you?” he groans against your lips. You nod enthusiastically, “pl-please daddy, I'll be so good for you” your hands run over his chest and along his abdomen as you pressed small kisses against his neck earning a moan from Hyunjin. The sound has you enthusiastically sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. Your heart swelled with pride as you observed the mark you had left on his neck, your eyes trailing over him only to be greeted with a fucked-out expression on his face. Letting his forehead fall against yours, your noses brushing ever so slightly “Fuck baby....” He whispers against your lips “as much I'd love to fuck your mouth right now I need to be inside you” His hand quickly forces your leggings down around your ankles taking your panties with them before freeing his own member from its confines.

Your mouth waters at the sight, his hand wrapped around his shaft as his painfully red tip leaked precum. Before you knew it your chest was once again pressed against the cool wall. Hyunjin’s large hand cups your ass before giving it a loud, painful smack.

“Fuck...” you groan. Throwing your head back in pleasure as Hyunjin’s cock glided up and down on your folds teasing your clit.

“Please...” you whine

“Please what baby?”

“Please fuck me Daddy”

You feel Hyunjin’s hips thrust forward at your words, before pulling away slightly. “Fuck” He growls your head whipping around to see him searching his bag and wallet a frustrated scowl on his face. “What is it?” you question removing your pants as he throws his bag to the ground “I don’t have a condom” Oh. A disappointed pout forms on your lips, you bite your lip before nervously suggesting “I mean.... I am on birth control” your eyes roam over the room before landing on him. His expression turning from frustrated, to confused before his mouth hangs open in realization. “Are you sure?” He can't even begin to try to hide his enthusiasm. “I-I mean unless you don’t want to” your voice is small, your eyes not meeting his “s-sorry I shouldn’t have suggested it” you apologize. “Come here” he calls as he sits against the sofa in the corner. You hesitantly make your way over standing in front of him shyly. His hand takes a hold of yours pulling you into his lap, so you straddle his hips. His hand caresses your cheek, “Do you want me to fuck you raw baby?” You try to hide your face in his neck as his hands trail over your thighs. He brushes his nose with yours “No, look at me” Your eyes connect as you nod biting your bottom lip grinding your bare pussy against his shaft. Weak whimpers leave your throat as he connects your lips.

“Fuck I can't get enough of you baby” He moans pressing your hips tighter against him increasing the friction on your clit. His tip continuously teases at your hole. Your hand sliding between your bodies holding his member in place before gliding him inside you slowly. Your eyes fall on Hyunjin, his mouth hung open as his head fell back against the sofa. “F-fuck...” his hands hold you in place “Don't. Don’t move yet” he struggled to get out. His heart raced as he stared at you behind hooded eyes, your cheeks a bright red. His tongue ran over his bottom lip as his cock twitched inside you. He fights the need to cum embarrassingly fast. He had just gotten inside you and he felt like he would explode already. He struggles not to thrust mercilessly into you as you press your chest against his. His lips following yours until they meet his hands guiding you up and down on his member. Hyunjin could have sworn he’d seen stars. For the many times he’s had sex, he’s never even thought to go raw but during the course of your relationship he couldn’t help but imagine the scenario every single time he was inside you. He wondered what it would be like to paint your walls with his cum. You’d always taken him so well; he gets lost in the sight of his cock disappearing inside your tight little pussy. “Look at you baby” He moans “I bet your dance partner would love to be me right now” your pussy clenches at his words.

He hated how jealous he had gotten, but how fucking dare that guy? You were his. He fought the urge to fuck up into you harshly to remind you of who you belonged to; him. “Fuck daddy you stretch my pussy out so well” you moan. He holds back a smile at the almost pornographic noises coming out of your mouth. He could never get over this feeling, he loved every moment he had a chance to spend ruining the innocence your beautiful face portrays. He loved the look on your face as you came around him. And him only. He craved your body every time he was away from you wanting to bury himself deep inside your womb and remain there. He lost his will to hold back as your lips attacked his neck once again; an action he used to detest but now he found himself praying for you to leave your mark on him. Claim him for the rest of the world to see. “You’re doing so well” He praises as his hips find a steady rhythm into your g spot. “You make daddy feel so good, baby” a feral growl is released from his chest as you come undone with a moan of his name. His resolve completely breaks as he feels the familiar knot forming in his stomach. “It's like you were fucking made for me” he laments “All mine baby fuck I'm gonna cum deep inside your little pussy” his arms hold you against him tightly his eyes rolling to the back of his head “P-Please daddy cum deep inside my pussy” you whine in his ear “own my pussy with your cum” His vision blurs as his hips stutter against yours “FUCK! I'm gonna fucking breed you baby. The whole fucking world will know who you belong to then” You connect your lips as the contents of his orgasm fill you.

He held you in place, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his. His hands guide your arms around his neck before returning to your hips. He was in deep, he knew it. Though he would NEVER let you know, he absolutely loved the way you held him as you kissed him. He hated the butterflies that filled his stomach when he’d pull away and see the reddening of your cheeks. Seeing your dance partner blatantly flirting with you all morning and you unknowingly flirting back drove him mad. His friends noticing his jealousy when they saw that guy way to close to you this morning, Hyunjin quickly became ready to risk it all the moment he saw the guy whispering something in your ear; only stopped by Jisung’s grip on his wrist holding him in place. The straw that broke the camel's back was the blush on your cheeks when he called you cute. It was bad enough for you to be partnered with the guy, but he was the only person you were allowed to look like that for. And for it to happen in front of him, he felt his blood boil and his heart clench. The possibility of you walking away from him and never looking at him like that again had his body acting before his mind could catch up to what was happening. He needed to know you still belonged to him. That the introduction of this new guy and his past mistakes wouldn’t have you looking elsewhere. He hated that he knew he didn’t deserve you, but he was selfish and couldn’t let you go. Not when this was starting to mean absolutely everything, and he would die before he lost it. “Tell me you love me” He pleads against your lips.

“I love you” ______________________________________________________________

“Can’t I just drop the class?” Karina suggests.

You give her a knowing look “I don’t know. Are you a dance major?” you question. She places her head in her hands “Out of anyone in the class, I get paired with the one guy I didn’t want to be paired with. Who did I piss off in my past life?” Yeji shrugs as she scrolls through her phone “I think you guys make a cute couple” you snicker at her words as you check your phone.

‘NO NEW MESSAGES’

You sigh in disappointment as Karina picks up a piece of bread off her tray and tosses at Yeji hitting her forehead. “Not even close to funny” Karina growls. You cross your legs a slight hiss releases from your throat at the soreness between your legs. Your chin rests on your palm “Why do you act like you hate him so much?” you question “you still in love with him or something?” Karina’s eyes widen as she quickly looks around quickly “Yah! Do you wanna die?” a faux offended scoff is released from your throat as you launch yourself from your seat dashing around the table and straddling Karina’s lap. “You’d never do that baby” you state as you wrap your arms around her neck “You love me too much” you pucker your lips leaning in pretending to kiss her; her hands coming between your bodies as she groans “Stooooooppp” A pout forming on her lips. You smile at her as and pepper kisses all over her face, smacking your hand over her mouth and kissing the back of your hand. “You’re so annoying” She whines. “I’d be less annoying if you’d just accept my love” you argue.

“Fuck” you hear from behind you “Kiss her again” Whipping your head around seeing Jisung and Changbin standing there eyes wide in amusement. Quickly shuffling off of Karina’s lap you make your way back to your seat. “Did you put a tracker on me or something?” Karina growled at the innocently deceiving boy. “Nope! Just your lucky day I guess babe” He smirks. You and Yeji share knowing glances and snicker to yourselves. “Aren't you guys one short?” Changbin asks disappointedly. “Lia had some sociology lecture or something” You reply placing your hand on his forearm as you notice his sadness. He nods dejectedly.

You felt for Changbin, despite his two friend's actions, he was the tamest of the three. Sure, he slept around as well but he was more for friends with benefits rather than one-night stands. You had noticed his lingering stares at Lia earlier last year; yet you never once mentioned it as to not embarrass the shy boy. But Changbin knew you knew his feelings for your friend. It remained an unspoken secret between the both of you. “Aren't you guys missing someone too?” Yeji questioned as she looked at you, your eyes flashing to her in contempt. She shrugs in response. The last thing you wanted was to acknowledge Hyunjin’s absence; mainly because you felt exceptionally awkward due to his request earlier due to him leaving abruptly leaving a few minutes after but also because you were afraid of the answer. “I guess he had to.... talk about something with his dance partner. He said he’d meet us here though” Changbin states as he sits a little further down the bench from you. Your heart sinks into your stomach at his words. You hate how your heartbreaks at the slight suggestion of Hyunjin and Ye-na being alone. You wanted to trust him; he’s never actually cheated on you....as far as you knew. But how could you know anything? You rarely spent any real time with him and if you did it always turned into sex within minutes.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a warm hand resting on your shoulder. Almost jumping out of your seat, your head turns to scold the culprit. Instead, you let out an annoyed sigh groaning before you rest your head on your arms on the table at the sight of your dance partner and his annoyingly stupidly perfect smile. “Do you need something, Yongbok?” He places his leg over the bench straddling it, his gaze locked on you. “I prefer Felix” He corrects. “I prefer being left alone yet here we are” you shrug your eyes focusing on your shoes. “Anyway” He shrugs off “Kinda hard to do considering were dance partners” you shrug in response. “But after you...ehm...left. We got a project basic hip-hop, so I'll be needing your number” Your head lifts at that not expecting him to be so close, your noses brush and you pull your head back.

“Why?” You question; your eyebrows scrunch together. “So, we can figure out a good schedule for rehersals. I hope you arent one those dancers” He states matter of factly. “One of what dancers?” you egg on. A smug smirk sits on his face “Oh, you know one of those that gives the bare minimum and relys on others to get by” you roll your eyes at his accusation, your hand quickly jostles his hair. “Yongbokie~” You coo “Just tell me you want my number” you tease. “Stop calling me that” He whines an adorable pout form on his lips. “Yongbokie~, Yongbokie~, Yongbokie~” your teasing pauses as you feel eyes on you. Looking around the table you notice Jisung and Changbin sharing worried looks; only to act obviously suspicious as they look around.

“Im not kidding!” He groans. You ruffle his hair once more before grabbing his phone from his hand; holding the screen to his face to unlock it you text yourself from his phone. He nods slightly as he lifts himself from the seat you grabbed his sleeve pulling him back down. “Dont text me first I'd rather not deal with you anymore than I have to” He places his hand over his chest “You’re a heartbreaker, Helmet” shaking your head in response as he gets up and walks away. You feel all eyes burning holes into your face, your cheeks heat up as a confused expression grows on your face “What?” they shake their heads, Karina’s eyebrow raises as her arms cross over her chest “nothing....” you nod at her.

“So whens the wedding?”

______________________________________________________________

You were greatful the rest of your classes went by without a hitch. Unfortunately for you, you were alone in the rest of them. Your stomach filled with dread everytime you’d pass Hyunjin in the hall with Ye-na stuck to his side. Smiles plastered on their lips; standing way to close for comfort. As you allowed your legs to trudge the way toward your moms convience store you find your mind wandering farther than it should have. You felt stupid honestly; why did you allow your relationship to be what it was? Why had you entered it in the first place? Apart from sex, as far as you knew, you were no different from Ye-na, Minji, Yerim, Garam and all of the other girls Hyunjin decided to pass the time with. His flirty comments and lingering touches happened to all of you. You grew tired of things not being 100% clear, because despite the odd way he had acted today; you still couldn’t tell if he genuinely cared for you or if you were something to pass the time with when he was bored. You hoped he could notice you were pulling away, since typically, you’d be trying to cling yourself to Hyunjin as you walked to work. Instead, the idea of being around him made you feel exceptionally nauseous. So, you abandoned your plan to walk to work with your 3 best friends and began your journey solo.

The day felt overwhelming in every sense of the word. You felt your throat constrict against itself as tears welled up in your eyes. Your breath shaky as a ding rings through the air. Pulling your phone out of your hoodie pocket, staring at the notification on the screen.

You shake your head not wanting to deal with this at this very moment

Your eyebrows scrunch together as you stare at his message. You can't help but feel confused; he’s never blatantly told you he wanted to see you and honestly it makes you nervous. You decide to just ignore his messages not wanting to get even more overwhelmed by him. You sigh as you push the door open to your mother's store. “Welcome to- Oh Y/N!” your mom exclaims her eyebrows scrunched together as her eyes flash to the clock. “Early for once I see” You give her a sad smile with a soft nod of your head as you walk into the back room. Dropping your bag on the empty chair behind the desk and grabbing one of the red and blue mesh vests and cash drawer. Making your way to the register, gently placing your hand on your mother's arm. “Eomma, why are you here? Wasn’t Chanyeol supposed to open?” a scowl grows on her face at the mention of your brother's name. “Aish, that boy. He didn’t even come home last night” opening the register and taking the cash drawer out. “I had to open late because I didn’t know he didn’t come home until I came down to get some things and we were closed still” she growls as she places your cash drawer in and assigning it to you.

“You should have called me. Or Karina. One of us would have come in you know” you scold “You know youre not supposed to manage the store alone” you look at her worriedly. “Im the mother here” she soothes you, her hand running over your hair. “Besides I’m not having you miss your classes, you can worry about my health when youre actually a doctor” You froze at her words, guilt crashing into your intestines like a tsunami. It wasn’t like you wanted to lie to your mother about your choice to pursue dance like your older brother but, the last time you brought up the idea of majoring in dance she—it didn’t go well. Apparently, there are no stable jobs in dance. It's not a good career path in her eyes due to your brother's failure and subsequent alcoholism. Even so, you still majored in dance and told your mother you were pursuing medicine as she had asked. How were you eventually going to break the news to her? You werent sure but you knew this was your life and you were going to live it how you deemed fit. You do love your mother, of course you loved your mother, which is why you continuously picked up the slack for your older brother; picking up shifts if you learned she would be working alone, walking her home and staying with her until morning so she didn’t have to walk home late by herself.

Ever since your older brother had returned from his failed endeavor to be an idol, you found yourself taking on a lot of the burdens for both of them. Your brother struggled with the fact that he could not make it as an idol as your mother's health deteriorates. You could only sit by and do your best to help them during their own struggles so much to the point they don’t notice yours. You were greatful to Karina for being the one other person to understand the massive change in your family as she had been there since long before your father died when you were 14. She had witnessed your struggle to cope with the loss of your father, then your subsequent depression pulling you out before you got too deep. You had been together through boyfriends and fights, rumors and friendships. She engrained herself in your family practically as a member in her own right. So much so, that at 16 when your mother had gotten her diagnosis of Susac’s Syndrome, she began working at the store with you. Karina was the only reason you could cope with everything. Which is why you were so greatful when your mother informed you that she had called her to work with you since your mother now will be going home instead of closing with you.

“The truck is coming by the way” your mother informs “Make sure you guys get most of it put away please” she pleads as she walks into the back room. You roll your eyes at her quick escape.

“Of course,”

______________________________________________________________

“Have a nice day” you call as the stranger smiles waving on their way out. Walking to one of the coolers you grab a soda before going back behind the register, pulling your phone out you scroll through instagram. The sound of the door’s beep has you shoving your phone in your pocket. Your eyes flash to the door only to see Karina making her way over to you. A smile on her lips, your eyes look at the time. “Sure. Be all smiley and shit it's not like youre 30 minutes late or anything” you scold her as Yeji enters through the door fully engaged in a conversation with Changbin. Jisung and Hyunjin followed them shortly after. Your eyes widen as you grab Karina’s forearm pulling her infront of the storage room.

“What the hell are they doing here?” You ask behind gritted teeth. An innocent pout sits on Karina’s face as she shrugs “They’re with Yeji” You roll your eyes at her “fucking Yeji...” you mumble. “I don’t get the problem” she states confused, grabbing a vest. “I didn’t really want to deal with all of this today...” you groan as you follow her back to the front. You notice Yeji scanning through the aisles engaged in conversation with Changbin, Jisung and Hyunjin just talking in the corner eyes flashing to Yeji and Changbin every once and a while. “Did you already assign yourself a drawer?” Karina asks. You nod in response “Honestly, you don’t have to stay the full time.” You suggest as Yeji and Changbin place their items on the counter. “I only really need help putting the truck away then you should be good to leave if you want” You mention as you begin scanning the items, noticing Jisung and Hyunjin making their way over to you. “And what? Leave you to close by yourself?” Karina quips crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, youre absolutely crazy to think you should be here by yourself so late” Yeji interjects. “Why would you be closing alone anyway?” A worried look grows on her features as she reaches over the counter grasping your forearm “what happened to your mom?”

“What do you think could have happened?”You quip. “Fucking Chanyeol...” you growl more to yourself than to anyone else. Your brother's name was all it took for Yeji’s worries to subside. You notice Changbin standing with a confused expression “Chanyeol...???” Yeji releases a sigh as you input a discount for her. “Her brother....” she answers, leaving the words to hang in the air. “Dont put that burden on me!” you groan “We just so happen to have crawled out of the same hole”

“And grew up together, pursued the same major, lived in the same house, have the same parents. Ecetera ecetera” Karina teases. You glare at her before turning back to Yeji. “Anyway, can you just run by my mom's place and make sure shes okay. I don’t know if Chanyeol has finally come back or not, and I really don’t need her to be alone right now” You beg. She gives you a small smile in return “Of course, I havent seen mom in a while. It'd be nice to check on her, maybe your brother will be there” she winks. You and Karina gag to yourselves and shudder. “Ew” Karina groans in disgust. “We need to find you someone suitable for you cause holy crap gross its Chanyeol” Karina argues as you tell Yeji the price. Your eyes flash to the street noticing a truck driving down the alley to the store. “Can you bitch and take money please; the truck is here” you sneer. You groan before walking infront of the counter and making your way toward the storage room and heading out the back door.

You smile at your delivery driver and cousin, Hong Jisoo, “Y/N?!” He smiles wrapping his arms around you. You let out a squeak as you’re lifted into his lean frame. “Oppa! Let me down!” you whine as you playfully shove at him. His lips upturning into a bright smile. “I havent seen you in like forever. Feels like youre avoiding me” He jokes as your feet touch the ground once more. You roll your eyes at him “Cause youre my most annoying cousin” you playfully shove him snatching the clipboard out of his hands. “Yah! I come out of my way to bring you things and this is how I get treated” He jests. “Oh, boo hoo how dare you have to do your job” you prod. “Im making an after-hours delivery, Y/N” he retorts. You scoff at his nerve “A late one at that” signing for the delivery before handing it back to him.“BUT, since you love me youre going to help me unload the truck?” You bring your hands together in a pleasing motion, your eyes big.

“Why can't you guys do it?”

“Karina is the only other person working”

“Your mom still lets her work the register after what happened last time?” He questions in shock. “You can fuck all the way off, Joshua” you hear Karina snap from behind you. A smug smirk grows on your cousins' lips. “You know? I havent spent any time with my favorite cousin in a while I think I'll stick around for a bit” He suggests, his eyes falling on Karina. Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Play nice you two...” You warn giving them a threatening look before opening the door to the truck. Lifting yourself inside you grab a large crate of sodas, placing it down on the ground near the door you take a step down. Placing your hands on each side of the crate, you lift it and carry it inside only to see Yeji and the boys still standing there. “Damn, took you long enough” Yeji quips. Placing the crate infront of the freezer, you let out a whine “Joshua and Karina are going to drive me crazy” You pout. Placing your head on her shoulder “Never mind what I said stay and make sure they don’t make me commit an actual murder” you plead. She shakes her head at you.

“Would it be wrong for me to leave them alone?” You question.

“Yes.”

“But Karina—would burn down the store if she was left with Joshua” she cut you off. You roll your eyes in response. You nod in agreement. “Sorry hun, I can run to your moms and stuff, but I have to meet with Wooyoung at the studio at 5.” She apologizes petting your hair softly. A pout forms on your lips as you turn at the boys pleadingly, bringing your hands together “you guys wanna become my favorite people in the entire world” Changbin looks away from you at your request scratching his neck before pretending to look at a newspaper. Jisung sits with his hands in his pockets looking at the ceiling rocking back and forth on his heels. Your eyes finally turn to your boyfriend. A look of shock fills his expression “I should already be one of your favorite people!” he exclaims in disbelief. “You’re slowly losing that title....” you grumble as you walk back toward the crate you had put down. You feel a hand wrap around your waist pulling you back into Hyunjin’s frame. “What was that? I don’t think I heard you, babe” He whispers in your ear, his voice borderline seductive.

“Go be gross somewhere else!” Karina exclaims, as she comes into the store a large box in her hands. You roll your eyes at her as you go to pull yourself from Hyunjin’s arms only to have his arms tighten around your waist. “Hyun...” you trail, his lips cutting your words off as he connects them with yours. Your eyes widen at his sudden PDA, you couldn’t help but melt into him as his tongue runs over your bottom lip. Your cheeks heat up as he pulls away, before releasing his hold on you and turning to Karina “Gross enough for you? I can make it worse if youd like” he states with a wink before turning back toward you, his hand caresses your cheek before brushing a stray hair out of your face. “I have practice as well tonight babe......” he states apologetically. You nod in response “It's fine” You smile at his use of the pet name, He gives you a worried look “Honestly I usually do it by myself, I have Karina and—OW!!” Your words are cut off by a loud bang and a scream from Joshua in the back. You and Karina dash out the door toward the backroom, a trail of footsteps follow behind you. Karina reaching outside first you notice her immediately almost fall in a fit of laughter. “Whats goin—oh crap what the hell happened?!” you bellow.

Youre greeted with Joshua sat on the ground, a milk crate all over the backroom and himself. Gallons of milk litered the ground, milk all over the ground, boxes and Joshua. “i may have made a little bit of a mess” Joshua states guiltily. “This is unreal!” Jisung laughed hysterically. Your fingers sat on the bridge of your nose. “So, I don’t have Joshua, Jisung I will literally pay you” you beg, you see him placing his chin between his finger and his thumb, thinking “How do you know I don’t have rehersal?” You stare daggers at him “Because your partner will be here dumbass! putting this truck away......forget it” You roll your eyes, turning back to Joshua “Get up, clean this, and just....” you clench your fists “put milk on a delivery for tomorrow.” You feel large hands on your shoulders, Hyunjin’s colonge fills your nostrils. His hands run down your arms, “Come here” he gestures to the front. You take a deep breath as you follow him through the door and outside. “I'll come back” he states, your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. You shake your head at his offer “It's fine, you really don’t have to I’ll be fine as long as Joshua just stays behind the register.” His eyebrows scrunch together “He’s staying?” you nod casually “Yeah, he’s helping me put the truck away I havent seen him in a while”

“I-I can cancel” Hyunjin blurts, you shake your head in response. “Hyun, it’s fine I literally can just put the truck away with Karina and make Joshua work the register I should have known better than to have his scrawny ass help me unload it” His hands wrap around your arms as he locks eyes with yours “I want to help babe I can cancel” his voice is soft. “Dont. Hyunnie its fine really you don’t have to.” You brush your hair out of your face. “I usually do it alone anyway im just never here to unload it my brother usually does it” The sound of Hyunjin’s ringtone sounds through the air, he pulls it out of his pocket. Your heartbreaks at the contact's name, Ye-na's name sat with the red faced emoji. He quickly locks the screen, shoving his phone back in his pocket. You stare at the ground “I should get back” you state hastily pulling yourself away from him opening the door. You feel a hand around your wrist

“Babe--Have a good practice” you cut him off forcing your wrist from your hand and make your way back inside.

______________________________________________________________

You were greatful for Karina, even though you now owed Jisung $100, you had finally finished getting the truck put away. Jisung having left as soon as it was unloaded as per his agreement with Karina. Your mother had sent you a text about Yeji visiting her, which you had appreciated tremendously. You had sent Karina and Joshua home at close, which was over an hour ago. Opting to do the closing procedures and cleaning projects. Purposely ignoring your phone for the majority of your shift, not wanting to confront what you had seen on Hyunjin’s phone. You knew you had a plethora of unread messages; you didn’t understand where his now oddly attentive behavior came from and as much as you enjoyed it; you didn’t understand why now? Why when you’ve finally begun to open your eyes to how messed up your relationship did, he want to put effort? You didn’t know. You’ve finally opened your eyes to everything and youre not sure where you stand at this point. Why was her contact saved like that in his phone? Well, you know why it was saved like that, but has he used it?

You groan to yourself as you struggle to empty the mop bucket, the water splashin all over your pants as you dump it down the floor drain. “Fucking great” You grumble to yourself. Your foot slides slightly as you make your way out of the back room with a sigh. Giving the store one more passover before grabbing your things and making your way out the front door. The soft wisps of wind kiss your cheeks as you lock the door behind you. You jump as two hands circle around your waist a squeak makes its way out of your throat. Quickly whipping yourself around and pulling yourself from the person's arms. Your nervousness calms as you see Hyunjin standing there a confused expression grows on your face.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Is your phone not working?” He questioned. A dejected look plastered on his features; his eyebrows scrunched together as his plush lips drew into a pout. Hyunjin felt confused, why hadnt you answered his messages? You always answer him; you’ve never gone longer than 30 minutes without responding. were you actually mad about Ye-na calling him? Did that Joshua guy keep you occupied to the point you forgot about him? Who was that Joshua guy? Hyunjin couldn’t help the tightness in his chest, he had to explain he couldn’t just let things linger he knew that. He tried to explain that he just forgot he had her number let alone had her saved like THAT. But you had left so quickly, as you pulled away from him Hyunjin felt like his heart was going with you. He needed you to know there was nothing with Ye-na. It’s the whole reason he came here, but as he stared at you his mind was drawing a blank. He didn’t know how to approach the topic, let alone how to explain but he knew he needed to. He’s hoping you’ll just forget about it. He’s hoping him showing up and trying to fix this fucking mess that hes turned your relationship into would fix this.

He’s worried you're going to wake up one day and realize you didn’t deserve this. That you were so much better than to deal with his bullshit and leave him. His heart clenched at the thought, he couldn’t let that happen. Fuck he wouldn’t be able to handle that, he loves you. He only began considering the notion recently but today reinforced the insecurities Jisung had drunkenly planted in his head a couple weeks ago at some party. He had been talking to some music production major who he hadnt bothered to learn the name of before Jisung drunkenly stumbled against his shoulder casually whispering Karina and Yeji were also in attendance and had seen him. It was the first time since you guys had gotten together that he felt an overwhelming sense of panic. He had only been in a conversation, honestly pretty casual but the girl was making her interest pretty known and had been a little closer to Hyunjin than he would have liked but he was used to those types of things. Ever since he had hit puberty women had flocked to him and made suggestive gestures. He enjoyed the attention and the lack of effort it took to get them into bed without having to commit to something, it felt amazing. He was happy with casual sex with no feelings on his part. Of course, there were the select few that wanted more than he wanted to give them, and he’d successfully curb the whole drama aspect before it started.

Being with you was different, for some reason you were the only girl that didn’t get her hopes up the first time. You had avoided him, ignored his flirty remarks, and never gave him the time of day for a while afterward. Hyunjin had to convince Jisung and Changbin to ‘casually’ stumble upon your group of friends at break so he could see you. Only completely lucking out when Jisung had taken an interest in your best friend Karina and he could use Jisungs interest as a way to see you, but after the first couple of times you had disappeared, and he had to start all over again in his pursuit to get close to you. He’d never wanted someones attention so bad, sure he had still flirted here or there but after being with you he wanted to only be with you time and time again. So, when he had found his opportunity to get you alone, he immediately took it. He needed to be with you in some way, he couldn’t get over how perfectly your body had fit into his, how your nonchalant attitude about everything and your acting like it never even happened only made him want to scream in the middle of the quad that it did. That you had given yourself to him and in turn took a part of him with you. That you were different, and he wanted no one but you so why werent you giving him the time of day? Why didn’t you want him? Everyone wanted him, why not you? Why not the one person he wants? So, when you finally had given in to his advances, he knew he had to do whatever he could to keep you around. It started off (in his mind) as casual sex to him, a quick way to get off and have a good time but then almost immediately after he found himself getting annoyed with both Jisung’s and your former dance partner, Lee Minho’s, flirty comments to you. He quickly realized for the first time he wanted more. He was over the moon when you agreed to be his girlfriend, but for some reason he found himself keeping things at a distance. Like if held on too tight things would break, he didn’t realize he hadnt held on tight enough until that night at the party. When, Jisung started slurring about how your friends were definitely going to tell you that theyd seen him with some girl and that him and her looked like they’d probably hook up tonight; Jisung practically cheered that Hyunjin would probably be single again and they could have all the fun they wanted. Hyunjin felt bile rise to his throat as tears burned his eyes at the idea. You wouldn’t leave him.............right? Jisung looked worriedly at him, “Wait, are you okay?” Hyunjin took a harsh gulp of his drink his eyes drifting back to the cup. “She-she wouldn’t break up with me...” he mumbles sadly. Hyunjin had ended the night on Jisungs couch with tears streaming down his face at the idea of you leaving him and he couldn’t understand why.

He couldn’t understand the tightness in his chest and the need to call and beg you not to break up with him. He’s never felt the need to explain himself to anyone but for some reason he can't help but feel like he had to this time. He needed you to know nothing happened that your friends misunderstood. That you were the only person he cared about that he loved you. He wanted to tell you so badly that he realized it that night, deciding only to say it if you were to mention the party but you didn’t. You never broke up with him and he never had to reveal himself to you like that.

Having Ye-na call him and to have you pull away like you did, brought him back to that night. He didn’t even want to leave when you had gone inside, he wanted to call Ye-na and cancel. You needed his help and he wanted to help you so why werent you taking it? Why did he never even know about this place? He’d walk past it so often with Jisung and Changbin on his way to and from his dorm. How had he not known that not only do you work here but it's your mother's store? Of course, he knew little tidbits about your mother's condition and your brother's situation. But why did he not know about this? He didn’t even know you had a job, honestly, he’d never even thought about it in the grand scheme of things. How long has your mother had this store? Had you always worked after you left him when you guys walked together? Did you always close this late and have to walk by yourself? The idea made anxiety raise in his chest. You wouldn’t have walked alone......right? Youd have at least called him, he tells himself. “Were you going to walk home by yourself?” he questioned worriedly. You nod a confused look grows on your features “why wouldn’t I?”

“it's late, you could get hurt what do you mean why wouldn’t you?” His voice is full of worry. “Hyun, I do it all the time nothings ever happened im literally 10 minutes from my dorm” You state matter of factly, starting your journey home. “Why wouldn’t you call me? Why would you think it's okay for you to do something so dangerous?” He found himself growing more and more angry as the words came out. “Would you have even answered? It's not like you have before” you scoff as you begin speed walking as you roll your eyes at him. He has some fucking nerve.... you think to yourself. Hyunjin stood frozen in place at your words. A conflicted expression sitting on his face as his heart clenched. He didn’t realize how tired you actually were, not until now at least. Had you called him to walk you home before? Had he not been there for you when you needed him? “Babe....” he called dejectedly, noticing your retreating figure. “Wait! Talk to me” he exclaimed as he rushed to catch up with you. His hand encasing your wrist turning you to look at him. “Im sorry I didn’t mean---I don’t want----fuck im sorry okay” he apologized behind teary eyes and a shaky breath. “I-I—please just call me next time okay” you look at him worriedly, your heart broke at the sight. “Hyun are you okay?” your hand grasps his bicep. Your eyebrows scrunch together.

Fuck......he was in way deeper than he thought.

______________________________________________________________

Lee Felix is the absolute worst.

You completely regret agreeing to let him make the rehearsal schedule. He was an annoying thorn in your side everywhere else, but a complete drill sergeant in the studio. Early morning rehearsals, during break, after classes before you go to work, after work. The days you don’t even have classes you have rehearsals, due to the overly nitpicky boy. You thought you were over-prepared, until you met Felix. You did appreciate the fact you both would not be happy until the whole dance was perfect in both of your eyes. BUT the guy seemed to forget you had a social life and other priorities even though he himself has now not had a choice and worked a shift at your mothers' store with you. You hated that the longer you guys continued your crazy rehearsal schedule the less and less time you had to see Hyunjin and your friends. You had finally convinced Felix to allow at least Karina and Jisung to watch the rehearsals and give critques. He was oddly warmly welcoming to the two, yet only asked for Karina’s opinion on the dance.

“Honestly, when it gets to the bridge Felix I can see you a little off with the timing can I see you run it again like just you this time?” She states professionally completely emerged in her dancer mindset. You gave a sigh of relief before laying completely on the ground, chest heaving as you reveled in the break you had finally gotten. You noticed Jisungs eyes on you “can I help you with something, Hanji?” he sat quietly his arms crossed over his chest “Do you like this guy or something?” He asks accusingly. You sit yourself up rapidly “What the hell did you just say to me Han Jisung?” your tone is no longer friendly. A scowl sitting on your face. His expression follows yours “Do you. Like. This. Guy. Or. Something?” He repeats behind gritted teeth “Did you forget I have a boyfriend?” You growl your arms crossing over your chest.

“No. It sure seems like you did though”

“You’re fucking joking, right?!”

“So why isnt Hyunjin allowed to be here? Why is it only you two all day every day? Are you cheating on Hyunjin?” He snaps before standing up and clenches his fists. Your resolve breaks at his questions, you jump to your feet your hand quickly connecting with his cheek “ASK, FELIX! IVE BEEN ASKING FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS FOR HYUNJIN AND ALL OF YOU TO FUCKING BE HERE! AND IM NOT YOU OR HYUNJIN OR CHANGBIN THAT CAN JUST FUCK RANDOM PEOPLE AND BE OKAY WITH IT! AND YOU WANT TO SIT HERE AND DEFEND YOUR FRIEND THAT DOESNT EVEN GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO LITERALLY DO ANYTHING BUT FUCK ME AND LEAVE! GET OUT JISUNG! NOW!” Karina and Felix step inbetween you and the boy, Karina’s arms wrapping around your waist holding you in place so you couldn’t get another hit on Jisung. “YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW YOUR FRIEND WELL ENOUGH JISUNG! IF HE HAD A PROBLEM THEN WHY IS HE FUCKING YE-NA?! WHY ISNT HE THE ONE HERE SAYING ANYTHING? BECAUSE HE AND YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP! FELIX KNOWS ABOUT HYUNJIN! HE KNOWS I WANTED MY BOYFRIEND HERE AND TO BE WITH ME FOR MONTHS! HYUNJIN IS THE REASON WHY HYUNJIN ISNT HERE CAUSE EVEN IF I ASKED HIM TO COME, HE WOULD HAVE SAID NO LIKE HE ALWAYS FUCKING HAS! SO WHY BOTHER ASKING ANYMORE?! YOURE LOOKING FOR A REASON FOR HYUNJIN TO BE SINGLE! YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU GOT IT! YOU AND YOUR FRIEND CAN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” you growl ripping yourself from Karina’s arms grabbing your bag and storm out the dance studio.

You notice Hyunjin and Ye-na, in conversation as they casually walk in the direction you came. Hyunjin’s eyes meet yours, a concerned look growing on his face. As you got closer to the pair, he extended his arm to try to stop you “Baby you okay whats wron--” his words are cut off by you quickly shoving his hands away and continuing on your path facing him. “Ask your best friend. And just leave me alone” you scoff as you turn away from him. “Wait, what?” he called after you “BABE!” you kept walking, ignoring his calls. Shoving your way out of the Dance building, you keep your legs moving, your eyes plastered to the ground as you walk toward the exit.

“Helmet!” You hear call from behind you, you shake your head and keep going. “Y/N! Come on you know I don’t run that fast” Felix whines. You halt your movements, tears welling in your eyes as Felix encases you in his arms. “I’m sorry......” you cry into his shirt. His hand pets your hair “what happened? Me and Karina are so confused” you shake your head not wanting to get into it “It’s nothing” He scoffs in amusement “Nothing. If it was nothing, then why did you hit Jisung like that? And why did Hyunjin come into the studio absolutely fuming and lose his shit on Jisung? what happened?” You took a deep breath, taking a seat on the stone wall behind you, before explaining the parts you understood. Why Hyunjin went into the studio and yelled at Jisung wasn’t your business nor did you have a real explanation for it. But you were greatful for Felix, though your friendship began as more of a rivalry thing you both had learned to appreciate the others insights and each other as a dancer. And after you had finally returned his helmet (after 4 days of him asking about it) you began to notice how nice and funny he actually was. You now found the nickname Helmet almost tolerable and gotten to know him over the past month. “well, Jisung is pretty rude to think you were my type, Helmet” Felix jokes nudging your shoe with his, You playfully smack his arm “Youre an ass.....but I just got so pissed because like Jisung KNOWS everything about my feelings for Hyunjin And for him to act like he has a right to ask me questions like that—tch.” you explain “and with YOU?!” you fake a gag before guilt sets in “but I didn’t have to hit him”

“You acted in the moment, and you’ll apologize later” He smiled “Can we go back and run through it one more time though? Karina telling me I was off is really getting to me?” He begs

______________________________________________________________

You felt absolutely drained. One more run through turned into 2 more hours of rehearsals. Your body ached as you wiped the sweat from your brow. “One more time," he said. I'll be on beat if we do it one more time” you sneer toward Felix, who stood in the center of the room hands on his knees as he gasped for air. “Shut. Up.” He groans between breaths. “yeah, sure Lix you think you got it cause im not sure if I'll be able to do another run through” you groan “At least im not doing no damn flips that’s for sure” you state hands on your hips. He shakes his head as he makes his way over to his bag grabbing his water bottle out. You finally checked your phone, only to see a flurry of messages from Karina and Hyunjin. Sighing to yourself you click on Hyunjin’s notifications.

Opting to ignore Hyunjin’s messages, you decide to see why Karina had blown up your phone.

You roll your eyes at her last question, of course that’s what she’d be worried about.

You respond before putting your phone back into your bag and saying your goodbyes to Felix. You were happy your dorm was a short 15-minute walk from the campus, spending majority of the day in the studio was not ideal. You couldn’t wait to take a shower and lay in bed forgetting about this whole day. You had no clue why Jisung had acted the way he did, but you still felt terrible about hitting him. You werent sure as to why he immediately assumed you were intimately involved with Felix, while he was an attractive guy, he 100% was not your type and you were definitely not his.

You felt utterly stupid, for even begging for him to even be accepted by Felix in the dance studio, you can see why Felix was so reluctant he wasn’t a dance major, so he’d focus on things that werent important. You had argued that he’d probably sit quietly on his phone, you wished you would have just accepted Felix’s offer to let Hyunjin sit in, due to his also being another top dancer in our class. You were so tired of thinking about it and just opted to not let anyone but Karina into the studio from now on. You were happy that the walk went by in no time, but you were halted as you saw Hyunjin sitting on the ground next to your door. His eyebrows scrunched together eyes not leaving his phone. You sigh as you slowly make your way over, Hyunjin noticing you as you stand in front of your door unlocking it. “So what? youre not talking to me anymore or something?” He scoffs, you can hear hurt in his voice. “I don’t have time to deal with this right now Hyunjin” you stoicly explain. Hyunjin couldn’t help the crack in heart at the use of his name. What did he do? Why were you treating him like this? Jisung couldn’t say much behind his panicked stammering so Hyunjin couldn’t understand what happened. All he could get was Jisung was sorry, and you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. When Hyunjin heard that he couldn’t hold himself back quickly grabbing a hold of Jisungs collar, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” He had lost himself; he knows that, but you had never not talked to him. You’ve never pushed him away let alone told him to leave you alone. He didn’t know what happened with Jisung and You, but he knew he needed to figure out why his whole relationship had gotten put on the line.

“Just tell me what happened!” he begs his hand grasps your arm, his free hand caressing your cheek “Babe, talk to me” you feel tears well in your eyes. Hyunjin’s arms encased around your figure his hand caressing the back of your head as you struggled to hold back tears. “Can I bring you inside?” He asks softly, you nod against him tightening your grip on his waist. He let out a sigh of relief, he stood there for a moment enjoying the feeling of you in his arms. You fit so perfectly in his arms, just knowing youre accepting him again has his heart racing so wildly he knows you can hear it. And for once he doesn’t care. He just wants you to talk to him again, look at him so brightly like you always did. Just the simple act of you using his full name made him almost burst into tears. He didn’t know why you were angry with him, but he knew he wouldn’t let it last long if that was the result. Hyunjin never wanted to feel that sense of panic again. He reluctantly let you go as he entered the code to your door. You slowly trudge your way in until you finally enter your room, dropping your bag, you lay yourself down on your bed. Hyunjin slowly follows behind you before placing himself over you. His hand strokes your hair “Whats going on baby?” his voice was soft as your eyes connected. You noticed the concern sitting deep within them. You shake your head “Nothing its nothing” you sigh. He gives you a frustrated pout “Babe. It's not nothing” he eggs on “Please tell me what happened please” your arms wrap around his neck as you press your lips against his pulling him closer to you.

He responds quickly taking control pressing you deeper against the bed, you moan against his lips as his hand runs up your side. Your tongue traces over his bottom lip, he allows you entry. Your tongues battle before he gains dominance. Your fingers playing with his hair, pulling yourself closer so he can have more access to your mouth. He moans at your taste, “Fuck baby we need to stop” he pulls away slightly placing his forehead against yours. Both of your breaths are heavy “why?” you whine before placing soft kisses against his throat. “Because I need to—fuck—know what happened” he stated behind gritted teeth. You knew his resolve was breaking, you just needed a little push. With faux disappointment you sigh “Fine” before signalling for him to let you up. You stand outside the door to your private shower pulling your shirt off. “What are you doing?” He asks behind a suspicious glint in his eye as he lays himself on your bed, his hand behind his head as he kept his eyes on you. You shrug as you pull your leggings off “Felix made me spend literally all day in the studio I need to shower youre more than welcome to my bed apparently” you state sarcastically a sly smirk on your face as you enter the bathroom leaving the door cracked slightly.

Hyunjin could hear the shower running, his eyes stayed stuck to the door. He knew what you were doing, he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself. How could he when you were literally offering yourself up on a silver platter? He already had to force himself to stop when you kissed him, he took a moment to revel in your taste. Fuck, he was addicted to your lips. His cock twitched at the sight of you stripping for your shower. His hands were shaking as he continued to stare at the partially open door. He could just come in at any time if he wanted, yet he couldn’t tell if it was intentional. You’ve never been a tease, not with him at least. You always gave into him and his advances, but you’ve also never left the bathroom door open if you were showering. He wanted to come in so bad and feel your naked body shiver under his touch. He could feel his determination growing thinner and thinner the longer he imagined your petite figure, completely naked and from how badly you made it seem like you wanted him he knows more than just your body is wet. He knows he has to maintain his composure so he can get real answers from you, so you know this wasn’t just sex to him. That you could tell him what happened and he’ll do whatever he could in his power to fix it; but the more he thought about it, you seemed to not even care about your words to Jisung and allowed Hyunjin inside, you held onto him with tears in your eyes in the hallway, you had kissed him and not the other way around. Maybe you didn’t want to talk about what happened with Jisung, and if it doesn’t seem to be ruining your relationship anymore, maybe he shouldn’t bring it up again.

His resolve absolutely crumbles like the lost city of Troy, you exit the bathroom drying your hair, towel in your hands and not wrapped around your body. Hyunjin could no longer control the need to be inside you, to feel you submit to him and let him give you immense pleasure. He rapidly jumped from your bed and behind your naked figure. His hand immediately ripped the towel from your hands and tossed it across the room, taking the opportunity to grip your hair forcing your head back almost sitting on his shoulder. “What are you doing?” he growls behind hooded eyes. You look up at him innocently, “nothing daddy” you state sweetly, his hand smacks down harshly on your ass causing you to squeak and jump at his action.

“Dont lie to me, baby” He warns in your ear. You can feel yourself practically dripping in excitement, you had to contain your smile as Hyunjin fell perfectly in your trap. You knew you’d at least be able to do some form of seduction at some point in the time he chose to be here, you just didn’t know it would just ta cke a simple shower with the door open to completely break him. You figured you were going to have to do more, but you were happy you didn’t have to work so hard for it. “I-I’m not I just took a shower daddy” you reaffirm. “It seems like you just want to be punished, I know what you’re doing” He loosens his hold on you “On the bed. All fours. Now" he demands as he forces his shirt over his head, and you quickly rush over to the bed and position yourself. You feel his hand caressing your ass before sliding down toward your entrance.

You feel his fingertips on your core, your legs shake in anticipation. “You’re fucking soaked but you weren’t doing anything?” He quips “Acting like a bitch in heat is nothing?” You stay silent, whimpering as he growls at you. You can feel his fingers teasing your slit, you push yourself back against his hand to add some pressure to your bud. “Fuck---you want daddy to fuck you huh?” He groans as he feels your juices all over his fingers. You nod excitedly, only to be met with another harsh smack of your ass. His hands grip your hair forcing your head back “Use your words babygirl” Your eyes burn with tears “D-daddy f-fuck me please” you beg.

“I'll be so good for you I promise, I need you inside me please daddy” He could feel his pants growing exceptionally tight, quickly forcing them down. “I would prep you baby but fuck it's been way too long since ive fucked you” Rubbing his tip against your slit, before gliding himself inside of you. Your head is thrown back, your mouth hangs open; a loud gasp is released from your throat. Hyunjin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at the feeling, fuck he didn’t realize how long it had been until he was finally back inside you.

“S-so fucking tight baby” He groans as he gently glides himself out before thrusting harshly back inside you immediately hitting your sweet spot. “Fuck daddy” you moan “It's so big, feel so—ngh—feel so full” your need to adjust to his size completely gone from his mind at your words as he begins rapidly attacking your core; his hand with a death grip on your hair as he forces you back on his cock. His free hand taking a hold of your waist to keep you right where he wanted you. His eyes traveling to where your bodies are connected, He throws his head back as his mouth hangs open. He almost, heavy on almost, grabbed his phone and had this moment saved in a hidden folder he kept of similar images and videos you had sent him. His pace is unrelenting as he revels in the practically pornographic noises coming from your throat. “Fuck youre doing so good baby come here” he moans as he pulls himself out of you and lays on your bed. “Come ride me baby” He looks at you, a pleading look on his face as he stroked himself.

You quickly straddled his lap; he presses his lips against yours as you ease yourself onto his length. His arms immediately wrapping themselves around your waist pressing your chest against his. He whines against your lips at the snail pace you’ve chosen to go. His eyes watering with tears at the need to fuck you into oblivion. Your moans and taste only doing more to drive him deeper into insanity. He was so fucking happy you didn’t even think about a condom, the warm velvety feeling of your walls on his bare cock being the only thing he could focus on. His mouth follows after yours as you sit yourself up on his chest, your hands placing themselves on his pecks before speeding up your movements. Hyunjin could tell by how tight your pussy had gotten around him, the way your eyes rolled, and your head hung back that you were close. His hands place themselves under your thighs lifting you slightly as he pounded rapidly into your core. “FUCK--its—it's too much. D-daddy im gon-gonna---Cum for me baby. Fuck please cum around my cock baby.” His voice strained. His vision blurred as you came undone around him.

Quickly, flipping you both over; pressing you against your bed legs wrapped firmly around his waist as he chased his high “Fuck!” he exclaims “Who owns this tight little pussy?” he groans against you. “Y-you do daddy” you moan weakly. He can see you struggling to keep your eyes open at the harshness of his attack on your core. His hand wrapping around your throat “Fuck can—can I cum inside you baby?” He bites his lip, his tone is soft almost inaudible, yet you still heard him and eagerly nodded and begged for him to finish inside you. He buried his face in your neck leaving wet hungry kisses against it as he felt the familiar tightness in his stomach.

“Fuck baby im gonna fucking breed you so well” He groans against your throat. “You want that, babygirl? You want daddy to fuck a baby into you?” he can feel you tighten around him at his words. You can feel the knot forming in your stomach, your arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed your bodies closer together. You felt his fingers on your clit bringing you closer over the edge. “You take daddy’s cock so well—nghhh—fuck I-I--” His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he climaxes deep inside you. Reattaching his lips to yours his hand caressing your face as he pulled himself out of you. Your legs were shaky as you stared at his figure disappearing in the bathroom only to return with a washcloth.

Hyunjin’s mind was all over as he helped clean you up. He almost told you he loved you, he mentally face palmed. That was the last way he wanted to tell you how he felt. His worries quickly fading as he sees your fucked out form, struggling to stay awake as he cleaned you both off. He watched you turn to your side back to him before laying himself back into your bed for the first time since you two had gotten together. His heartbreaks at the confused look you give him as he wraps his arms around you. You open your mouth to say something as he quickly cuts you off before you can say anything “Im staying” he states softly kissing the back of your head

“Get some sleep baby”

______________________________________________________________

To say you were anxious would be an understatement.

When you had received the email from your professor after you and Felix were able to present your routine stating you and Felix would also be in the schools showcase and representing the dance program with your outstanding choreography, you had completely rejected the idea. Not only would that put a hindrance on your mothers not knowing about you majoring in dance, but you would have to dance kinda of sexy with Felix, infront of the whole University and whoever else decided to come to the well-known showcase. BUT Felix seemed really excited about the whole thing and was happy to have been the chosen pair over Hyunjin and Ye-na. Who were also contenders for the top pair in your program, it had been months ago but apparently your first effort as partners really impressed the instructor and she had informed a friend of hers at JYPE who will now be watching the showcase.

Your heart sunk into your ass as you stared out the curtain at the large crowd. You noticed the smiles on the crowds' face as Jisung, Changbin, and surprisingly Bang Chan (who apparently is also a music production major) finish up their set. Your eyes scan the crowd, you notice Yeji, Karina, and Lia all placed in the front row eyes wide with pride and excitement. Your hands are shaky as you nip at your bottom lip, a habit only done in your nervousness, you rub your palms against your dress. You can feel Felix’s eyes on you “Do I look as nervous I feel?” You question looking at him pleadingly. He scratches the back of his neck as he looks everywhere but you. “Yongbokie~” you whine extending the pronunciation of his name with a stomp of your foot. He places his hands on your arms looking directly into your eyes “Dont worry remember im right there and weve done this so often you can do it in your sleep”

“PLEASE HELP US WELCOME LEE YONGBOK AND PARK Y/N FROM OUR DANCE PROGRAM” Your eyes widen at the introduction. “Showtime” Felix’s sings as he walks toward the other end of the stage as the music begins. You stand frozen taking deep breaths as you and Felix stare at each other from across the stage, he gives you a reassuring smile and thumbs up as you both make your way out into the public eye.

(Song- Breathless- Luke James and Jude Demorset)

Yeah Oh yeah Oh, honey Why you looking like that

Didn't I tell you I'd have you hooked By the morning you'll be coming back, oh

You both take slow fluid steps as you walk toward each other, eyes on the other until you reach him, you make a flirty smile as you place your hand across his chest on his shoulder his hand around your waist as you circle each other eyes locked. Oh, baby Why you making that face Like you didn't accept that my body would have you so out of place Oh, baby

You remove your arm from him, turning your head away as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind. As you step toward the front of the stage, with a soft lift of your leg behind you between Felix’s legs as his hands grab yours while you dip and sensually lift yourself. Honey, don't worry You are on your way to heaven Just relax (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

You both pull away and begin making your way to opposite sides of the stage as the music comes to its climax. Your heart no longer shaking, as confidence fills you. Before launching yourself across the stage, toward Felix’s waiting figure. You aerial once you were near him landing perfectly infront of him, your dress flowing beautifully with the choreography.

I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna blow your mind Tonight Imma leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

Felix’s arms wrap around you as you gracefully turn in his arms, your head bent back whilst your arms are in 5th position. You backbend landing into a split.

Girl I know I'm a rebel Really hope that you don't mind I just wanna leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

Felix’s hands help guiding you up as he guides you back up to your feet over your head turning you both around slowly as you extend your arms a smile plastered on your face as you flip yourself over his head and back onto your feet

Baby, I don't bite

Felix’s steps are smooth and fluid as he steps toward the front of the stage his hand coming up to cover his chin and mouth as he faced you his other arm wrapping around his torso

Maybe I'm lying But I promise I'm gonna do it right, oh

on beat his head goes faces each side his arms moving gracefully as he extends his arm to the crowd before spinning and giving the audience a flirty smile and wink as he extends his hand toward you.

Honey, don't worry You are on your way to heaven Just relax (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

You point your toe as you walk toward him, your arms moving with the beat before Felix grasps your hand and lifts you over his head. Slowly turning you around as your dress adds another beautiful element to the choreography. You smile at each other at the use of the dirty dancing lift. You both struggle not to laugh as he guides you back down. I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna blow your mind Tonight Imma leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) Baby I know I'm a rebel Really hope that you don't mind I just wanna leave you breathless Breathless (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)

You spin your arms guiding your spin before you jete. Standing on one foot as you lift your leg behind you extending your arm up into an Arabesque. You drop to one knee both of your arms crossing into an X over your chest as you tuck your head. You bring your head up elegantly, as your arms extend over your head and back flip into a standing position your arms straight up. You turn into Felix’s arms, his hand wrapping itself around your waist as you place your hand on his chest, your faces inches from each other as the song comes to a close.

Your chest is heaving as you hear the roar of applause from behind you, turning to the crowd you take a hold of Felix’s hand taking a bow before pulling him off stage. A large smile playing on your lips, Felix is giddy as you guys made it off stage. You wrap your arms around his neck “That was fucking awesome!” you declare as Felix laughs in disbelief. You smack his arm as you pull away “How were you so calm? you werent nervous at all?” You question, he scoffs at your words “I WAS TERRIFIED! Theres a scout from JYP out there I was fucking terrified, you couldn’t tell?” he exclaims. Your eyes widen in disbelief “NO! FELIX!” He shrugs as he lifts his hand to point behind you. You turn your head in the direction he was pointing in only to see Karina, Yeji, Lia and your mother and brother running up to you. Your heart sinks at the sight of your mother, you look at the ground in embarrassment. Karina is the first to reach you wrapping her arms around your neck “You were fucking amazing! Is this why Felix is such a dick about people coming to your practices” She exclaims giving a small playful glare to Felix. He rolls his eyes at her words “What the hell are you talking about I’ve invited you” he argues as she removes herself from you. “Guys---” your words are cut off by Yeji and Lia wrapping themselves around you.

“You did so good!” they exclaimed; you laugh at their insync jinx. Your eyes drift to your mother and brother standing behind them, wide proud smiles on their faces. You pull yourself away from the two. Trudging your way over to them, you look at the ground. You feel your brothers' arms wrap around you, “I-I’ve never seen you dance before” his voice is filled with tears you notice the lack of liquor smell on him, only a strong colonge. You feel tears welling in your eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You can hear the heartbreak in your mother's voice. “Eomma!” you cried as you wrap your arms around her “I'm sorry...I wanted to tell you! I did but you were so disappointed at the idea I didn’t want to hurt you” you cried. She shook her head as she wrapped her arms around you “you could never disappoint me, I'm sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t tell me" She wiped your tears “You’re an amazing dancer, you remind me of your father”

“Hi Im Felix” Felix exclaims excitedly extending his hand toward your brother a large bright smile on his face.

______________________________________________________________

You were greatful for the showers in the female dressing room.

After your overwhelmingly emotional moment with your family, you quickly rushed into the dressing room, undressing and quickly making your way into the warm water waiting for you. You can hear the dressing room open, the murmur of voices making their way into the vanity room. Choosing to enjoy your shower you grab your shampoo and lather it onto your hair. You hear a crash from the strangers in the next room.

“Ye-na what is going on?!” her friend exclaimed as you heard more crashes from the room. You hear a pause before you hear the familiar screech of Ye-na's voice “I just don’t get Hyunjin, I thought we were like going somewhere but apparently not” she snapped. Your ears perk up at the sound of your boyfriends name. Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “what do you mean?” her friend inquires. “I mean he had no problem sleeping with me at the party the night before we started classes and now all of a sudden I don’t fucking exist!!” your heart breaks at her words. He slept with her.....tears well up in your eyes. He slept with her the same night he slept with you. You scoff in disbelief.

“Wait doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” her friend questions. You press yourself against the shower wall, waiting in anticipation. Your heart pounded against your chest, your hands shaky. Your shower long over but you were frozen in place under the rapid cascade of the water. “He said they werent anything serious” You could hear the smirk on her lips. Nothing serious? You heard the door close. Turning the water off, you slowly make your way out of the shower. Grabbing onto the towel you allow the tears to fall. You feel your body trembling as you hold the towel against your chest, leaning against the doorframe. Nothing serious..... that’s what you were to Hyunjin. Nothing serious. Pulling your phone out you see new messages from Felix, your tears cascading down your face. Quickly responding to him you pull your long sleeve skin tight shirt and black sweats on.

You hear a soft knock on the door. Wiping your cheeks you crack the door slightly, only to be met with a set of soft concerned eyes staring back at you. Once his eyes landed on your sobbing form, he wraps his arms around you pulling you into his chest. You sobbed against him as he cooed in your ear. “what happened? You were just so happy what changed?” He questions. Sniffling as you pull back you explain what you had overheard. You notice a change in his demeanor, his fists balled up at his side. “Youre kidding right?” He growls behind a clenched jaw. You shake your head as you grab your bag “Can you please just bring me home?” you plead. He runs his hand through his hair. “Arent you going to talk to him?” He inquires. Shaking your head rapidly “Not....Not now” You state dejectedly “Not today”

“Honey, theres no day but today.”

“Ill do it another day Lix forreal I cant handle anymore right now”

He shakes his head “No. Youre doing it today. Theres literally no day you should even do it but today. You don’t think hes going to figure out youre avoiding him?”

*PING*

Your phone sounds. Seeing his contact name pop up you open his message.

Quickly, locking your phone without responding you turn your attention back to Felix. “Can you bring me home? Yes or No? Cause if not I have to leave now while I still havent seen him”

*PING*

Rolling your eyes at his nerve to be annoyed. “Felix~!” you beg as your phone goes off once more. Irritation filling you at his words. “Fine, BUT you owe me” Felix groans pulling your attention away from your phone for a second. “nice to know your profiting off of my misery some friend you are....” You groan as you finally respond to Hyunjin.

You smile to yourself at your petty use of the nickname you called Felix that Hyunjin absolutely hated. Feeling quite proud of yourself as your phone goes off with countless messages now being ignored. Walking with Felix out of the auditorium and into the parking lot you see his familiar black and red motorcycle. You hesitate at the thought of actually getting on it. Felix grabs his spare helmet and holds it out to you. Grabbing a hold of the item you feel a hand wrap around your wrist and turn you around. Your eyebrows scrunch together as you force your hand out of the persons grip. Your heart cracks once more as you come face to face with Hyunjin, an irritated scowl on his features. “Is there something you want?” You growl.

“Yeah why the fuck are you going home with Felix?” He snaps back. “Woah, okay dude relax she just asked me for a ride home” Felix quips from behind you. You can see the fire in Hyunjin’s eyes “Are you my fucking girlfriend?!” he spits. Felix chuckles to himself “She wont be your girlfriend for long....” he mutters under his breath as he rolls his eyes. “Y/Nie~, ill wait over there for you just let me know when your ready to go” Felix states calmly as he wraps one arm around your shoulder giving you a small side hug before ruffling your hair and walking over to the bench by the entrance.

You nod softly before looking at the ground. “What the hell is your problem?!” you snap, you notice the confusion on Hyunjin’s face. You’ve never really truly yelled at him before so to say he was shocked would be an understatement; but his shock was soon replaced with anger as he growls “MY PROBLEM?!” you nod before shoving him back slightly “Yeah! Your problem. Why are you such a dick to Felix? Hes been nothing but a good friend to me, and you always act like such an ass to him for literally no reason”

“Why cant you see he wants to be with you?!”

“WHY DOES IT MATTER?!” You snarl “Its not like we’re anything serious right?”

You cant help but feel guilty as you see hurt flash across Hyunjins face “We’re- we arent anything serious?” His voice is laced with pain. “Why would—why would you say something like that?” you notice tears in his eyes his voice growing shaky. “Its what you told Ye-na right?” You stare at him, tears filling your eyes as you remember why you wanted Felix to bring you home. “what?......” His voice is so small its almost inaudible “w-where did you hear that?”

“So its true? Nice to know” you state matter of factly crossing your arms over your chest as a stray tear makes its way down your cheek.

“N-no! I didn’t--I wouldn’t---I never told that to anyone. I am serious about us” He declares in a panic as he reaches for you, you take a step back. “Babe....” He pleads. “i swear I-I never said that to Ye-na" you shake your head at him lifting your hand “And shes just so delusional that she thinks you two slept together as well right?” Sarcasm drips off your tone like venom. His face drops his mouth hanging open to say something before closing it again unable to find the words. You scoff at his hesitance “So you did. You slept with her?” He steps close to you once again you step back.

“not recently......”

“Please just—just delete my number” Your hurt obvious in the way your voice cracks, Hyunjin’s tears begin to fall “What?” His voice is shaky “N-no. Why?” you shake your head in disbelief “Because you cheated on me Hyunjin are you stupid or something?”

“No I didn’t I swear! Baby I never cheated on you, me and ye-na was a long time ago before us please belie-believe me” His hand finally is able to wrap around your wrist pulling you into him burying his face in your neck. You shake your head as you attempt force your way out of his arms “Let. Me. Go.” You growl. Hyunjin shakes his head as his arms wrap around you tighter “No! No I cant” he cries “I cant youre going to leave” you continue your fight as you feel your shirt growing wet, Hyunjin’s form now trembling. “please! I cant lose you please.....I would never---I could never cheat on you please don’t go please just listen to me” He sobbed. You look over to Felix signalling him to come back and start his motorcycle. You shake your head “I cant. I cant do this anymore Hyunjin”

“NO! Stop please im Hyunnie, your Hyunnie. Please, please I don’t know what else to do babe I didn’t cheat on you. Im serious about us im so fucking serious about us please believe that! I cant lose you, not like this, not because of her I swear nothing happened with her in so fucking long. I’ve only been with you. I only want you please at least let me prove that” He pleads as you hear the roar of Felix’s engine. Finally pulling yourself away from his arms, you take one final look at Hyunjin’s face. He still looked absolutely perfect, even as he cried. Your heart raced as you felt his lips press against yours. Your resolve almost crumbles as his lips moved against yours, the taste of his tears mixing with your own. Pulling away he presses his forehead against yours his hands on either side of your face. “Im sorry, I just cant trust you.” you cry, he shakes his head “please don’t do this, I love you please” he pleads, youre heart breaks at his confession. Taking a step back. “let’s........break up” you declare softly as you hop on the back of Felix’s bike and tap him signalling for him to drive away.

Ignoring the flurry of calls and text messages now flooding your phone you allow the tears to fall completely and whole heartedly, you sob into Felix’s back.

#hyunjin angst #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #skz hyunjin #skz felix

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