#engage in a /demonic/ level of fucking
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Jeromewald Text Meme 5/?
Special Edition: Entirely from Jerome’s POV
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
#Gotham#jerome valeska#oswald cobblepot#jeromewald#gotham text memes#tumblr text meme#mine#just an entire text meme of#jerome @ oswald#seriously Jerome is so invested in getting into Oswald's pants#and then /staying/ there#it is my belief that jerome and oswald#engage in a /demonic/ level of fucking#regardless of the AU#it's been a while since i made one of these!#but i was suddenly struck with a random burst of gifmaking creativity and fucking ran with it#this was the result#had to rebuild my backlog of material after my laptop got wiped last year#but we're (slowly but surely) back in business#stay tuned#risqué
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anyways johnny’s part of the devil went down to georgia is one of the best fiddling portions of recorded songs of all time and the devil’s bit is just a glorified scale exercise
#johnny’s part is not only musically more interesting and engaging but it’s also steeped in a very rich folk song and fiddle tradition#whereas the devil has the accompaniment flare but very little musically interesting happening#and his fiddling is meh at best. his demons are carrying#hes lost bc he’s not actually fiddling!!!#and discounting johnny’s bit is not only just generally wrong in terms of what’s written and performed and the difficulty/complexity/origin#originality levels#but it’s also discounting a very rich tradition of folk music made by a generally underserved poor and undereducated population that carries#a lot of significant cultural weight#sorry people were saying dumb shit on the devil went down to georgia post#and i am gonna vague about it#bc that’s just fucking disrespectful#to both charlie daniels and the folk music culture in general#mak rants#charlie daniels#the charlie daniels band#the devil went down to georgia
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next time someone tries to tell me people don’t demonize and act violently toward trans men and transmascs, i’m just going to make them read this reply i got to a positivity post that was specifically about trans manhood and transmasculinity. this is basically just every negative thing people say no one says about us rolled into one message that’s aimed directly at us.
and as if this isn’t enough on its own, their whole blog is full of this disgusting shit. it seems to be dedicated to it, actually. (fair warning, don’t look at the next two screenshots if you don’t want to see even more genuinely awful transphobia.)
you can say what you want about how they’re probably just a troll or baiting or doing this for attention but the fact remains that, regardless of their true intentions, these are real things that a real person is saying about trans men&mascs, publicly and proudly and to our faces because they want it to do damage.
i’ve dealt with people like this before, on a much closer level. when i was a teenager, i had a grown woman come into my dms just to send me very graphic and detailed instructions on how to kill myself. literally entire paragraphs with all of the steps she wanted me to take. before i blocked her, i told her she was lucky she sent it to me and not someone more vulnerable, because otherwise she might have real blood on her hands. she just sent the whole thing again.
we can argue all day about infantilization versus demonization, erasure versus hypervisibility, what counts as violence, what words we use to talk about our oppression, and so on. but the reality is, whether you believe people want us dead or not, they clearly do, and a lot of them really aren’t making any effort to hide it. at this point, if you can’t see it, it’s because you don’t care about our lives enough to look at the reality that’s right in front of your face.
before you do anything else, block this person. don’t engage with them directly, don’t give them the satisfaction of the attention they might be fishing for, just block them. but don’t forget that they exist either, especially if you’re not a trans man or transmasc yourself. don’t just block them and move on and forget that there are real people out there who will say these things about us, who genuinely enjoy the thought that their actions might have deadly consequences.
because these are the people you empower to come out of hiding and start being blatant about their hatred when you insist that no one wants us dead, when you openly mock us and demonize us and try to cast us out from the community that we were supposed to share. when even our own people decide we’re an acceptable target, these bigots throw a fucking party because you’ve just told them they can get away with murder as long as it’s our blood on their hands. this particular blog was started recently, and i guarantee it’s not a coincidence that they started it in the midst of a rise in online anti-transmasculinity.
it really is telling, how much hate a positivity post has incited. y’all can’t stand when we talk about the bad things that happen to us, but you hate our happiness even more.
#i feel like i haven’t made a properly angry post in a while. so here’s this#tw suicide#tw suicide baiting#tw transphobic violence#examples of transandrophobia#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilphobia#virilmisia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#normally i add more general tags but i don’t feel right putting these screenshots in those tags
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₊✩‧₊◜ ── SUKUNA MEETING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME
★ tags: aged up characters + sukuna is still in yuji’s body + fem!reader + suggestive content + university au + implied smut + sukuna calls u a "broad" + and he sends u d3ath thr3ats + then he wants u :D + hints of true form!sukuna + reader is a sorcerer + and pretty daring.
Just a random thought but I feel like the first time Sukuna meets you would be sooo interesting:
You are an outlaw–a label the Higher-ups deemed you as (to which you agree because it makes you sound cooler). Getting you to follow through with missions is damn near impossible when you're seldom there at the university but you're everywhere else; parties, bars, get-togethers with childhood friends, at that restaurant everyone's been talking about. Everywhere but there.
There are times when you do make your appearance. Although rarely, you can't just completely drop your presence. As much as you want to Gojo forbids you from doing so. Not because he likes being strict with you but because he hates getting an earful from the Higher-ups. You have curses to fight, people to save, and your level as a First-Grade Sorceress is what circles you back to that hell hole. They need you.
But it's depressing, you will say. I mean, how could it not be when all that you're doing is fighting deformed curses with haunting moans and shrilling screams as you exorcise them one by one while getting soaked in blood? That doesn't even sound good written on paper.
You deal with it, though. What can you do? Not much. All you can do is complete (some of) your missions and spend time with friends as an outlet.
That is until you heard about the new student or vessel–Itadori Yuji.
'Fascination' is an understatement when you hear about the new freshmen walking straight through the doors of Jujutsu University. Oh, you're familiar with the story: A simpleton, an ancient demon's finger, a snack? Call it the 'fool of the century'.
Of course, you went back to see the boy, are you kidding? He's the talk of the town. This is the most engaged you've ever been since your first year here.
Upon first glance, you already had him in your grasp; his cheeks were warm with your palms as you squished the pliable fat and your eyes were big when laying on his doe-like ones.
"No fucking way," You whisper incredulously. "You're actually the dude who ate Sukuna's finger. And alive too! Are you insane or are you insane?" A laugh of disbelief leaves you and all the poor vessel can do is blush in obvious embarrassment. He guesses he's the former and the latter.
You're a bold one. Everyone can agree with that. Even the fresh blood who just arrived at the school can say that. To confirm that the rumors were true you gaze deeply into Yuji's eyes as if to see Sukuna sitting lavishly on his throne through his host's pupils, attempting to find the curse yourself.
"So where is the guy? Is he hiding or something? I don't see 'em-" Sukuna is...intrigued, to say the least. Does this broad have no shame? Don't you know what he is–know what he's done? You speak of him as if he's an animal from a childhood fable. Though your brain has gone to mush you still had a confidence that these weak humans lack (save from Gojo). You're daring, he'd give you that.
Before Yuji can remove your hands from his sore cheeks, it appears Sukuna already beat him to it by materializing a mouth at the side of his face and biting your thumb with tough fangs. You yelp with a 'shit!' in the midst of it. Now your thumb is bruised with a subtle teeth mark, faintly traced with blood (and nearly ruining your freshly coated polish).
But your worrisome state would be put aside when hearing a discomforting squelch come Yuji's way as a crimson eye emerges from the cut on his cheek. It adjusts to the lighting of the environment, glaring at everybody in the room before stopping on you–your dumbfounded face.
"How dare you speak of me so lowly like I'm one of you pathetic humans? Would you like for me to be the first one to behead you once I'm in control of this body?" His voice boomed at you and you know you would've pissed yourself if the infamous curse didn't look like a cyclops on some twenty-year-old's face.
Not wanting to start too much trouble, you repelled your snarky comment. Putting your left leg behind you, you slightly bend your right knee and clasp your hands over the fabric of your imaginary gown to give a gentle bow–since you are but a lowly peasant.
"Apologies, your Highness. May my body and mind rot for speaking so poorly of you. I hope you find it within your heart to forgive me of my ignorance and free me from my unbearable idiocracy!"
Ok, maybe that was a bit snarky.
The faces of the people in the room were written with 'shock' on them, and so was Sukuna's in his own domain.
From there, things escalate. Sukuna's infatuation for your character starts to increase whenever you're around, and whenever you're not. Your bold stupidity, your witty remarks, your unfazed nature–it was all starting to grow on him like mold on bathroom tiles. On top of that, his corruption starts to show whenever he dwells on how much of an attractive woman you are.
You have a bangable body with plump breasts and a bouncy ass–a trait he's not accustomed to from this society but isn't against. Your curves are in the right places and you take good care of yourself. Maintaining the warm fragrance of vanilla to seep out your pores whenever you embrace Yuji. He can't help but taste you when you do and he'll never forget the cute squeal you released from glossy lips upon feeling his wet tongue glide vertically on your neck.
"(Name)?! What's wrong?"
"Ugh, Sukuna, you pervert!" A mischievous sneer forms on miniature lips as the aforementioned demon glares knowingly at you.
"Have this brat lend me control over this body and I'll show you more than just a lick to the neck, doll." You upgraded from 'broad' to 'doll' in just a matter of weeks. It was a rapid transition (not that you're complaining, at least you're on his good side). You feel like it was last week when he threatened your life by saying he'd rip your limbs from your body and gorge on your flesh before using your bones as toothpicks (maybe because it was last week).
You plague his mind. In a way one would say to their lover in those sappy romance stories people read. Some people would call what Sukuna feels as such.
But Sukuna doesn't love you. That isn't his forte. He desires you–craves you, as well as any unhealthy forms of want:
Wants to have your tongue follow the path of the inky marks on his skin before kissing him deeply, wants to feel the burning heat flow from you as he latches a hand on swollen breasts, wants to hear those moans riddled with lust once he impales you with one of his throbbing members-
His mind swirls with infinite scenarios but for now, he will wait. Wait until the brat gives him power. And once he does, he'll know the first person he'll go looking for.
#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna ryomen#jjk smut#ryomen sukuna#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#sukuna#dilftaroooo
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Ashley Literally Did Nothing Wrong, Fuck You, Fight Me
Alt title: Ashley Graves: The most convenient scapegoat in the world
I'm going to espouse a take here that will no doubt be controversial, as you can tell by the title. This is a take I've created from my hollistic understanding of the events of the game, and isn't dependent on any one single point I make in this essay. Because of that, I want you to read it with an open mind; if you hyperfocus on one or two smaller details I might've gotten wrong or are fallaciously interpretated, and either use that to discount the whole essay or go into the comment section and immediately try to debunk my interpretation of that event, that'll make it obvious to me that you're not trying to seriously engage with the core of what I'm trying to say. Because unless quite literally everything I've said here is wrong, I feel confident in saying this:
Ashley Graves did nothing wrong.
Moreover, I think Ashley is on the level of people like Rossiu, Shinji Ikari, and Skylar White as far as people who are mistreated by their fandoms goes.
At first this was going to be an essay about how I don't think the demons are evil, using textual and thematic evidence to show that they're just part of a system that deals mostly fairly with humans and doesn't have any nefarious plans, or at least nefarious plans that stand to fuck anyone over. But then I realized that, goodness gracious, that is boring as shit to write! But I looked at what I had written already and realized that I could write something else with it: something better. I could sum up a lot of the points made in my prior essays and elaborate upon them in much more detail, showing why I think certain themes are obviously present within this game. And here, I intend on doing that.
I've spoken a lot before about how Ashley is a scapegoat for all of Andrew's worst habits; and to a lesser extent, her mother's. The game makes it seemingly obvious that she's the bad one, and generally just a Very Not Good person. It shows her and her brother committing many different acts that are, under most moral systems, wrong, and implicitly implies that she's the reason that Andrew ever did those things. It implies that she's corrupting him, that he could be better and refuses- or is unable to- due to her poking and prodding. But… is that the truth? Is that how their relationship actually works, in practice? I don't believe so. I think I've made it obvious by now that I believe the exact opposite!
I'm going to start off by tackling the morality behind their actions, especially relative to the world they're in. Specifically, I'm going to tackle how the game presents the morality of their actions from a thematic point of view, and any statements it may or may not make.
First of all, TCOAL plays with a lot of different taboos- demon summoning, cannibalism, incest, murder- but the game goes through great lengths to muddy the moral weight of the siblings' actions. Every single action they commit is portrayed in the most neutral possible light- killings were done in self defense (with one notable exception), or done to people who greatly wronged them, cannibalism was a necessity to survive (also with one notable exception), incest is shown to come from a marked improvement in their relationship- leading me to believe that this game is taking a hard morally nihilistic stance. Else, they'd be shown to suffer for their actions, when in reality, the literal exact opposite is happening; they are being rewarded for it. This isn't necessarily glorifying the actions, but instead showing that even the worst of actions can potentially be excused, but whether or not you do is up to the reader. Hence, nihilism, or at the very least, skepticism (as noted by Lisafication). There's an existentialist reading of this too, but I think much of that is contingent on the events of chapter 3 so I won't get into that here.
It contrasts this mostly nihilistic perspective on interpersonal taboos with the deep societal ills that drive people to commit such actions. Evil exists at every level of analysis here, but curiously, the only thing that are shown to do direct harm to others without having a justification of some kind- be it self-defense or retaliation- are those societal ills. There is no (morally) good reason to quarantine people, starve them, and harvest their organs. There's no good reason to burn all evidence and then put a hit on the ones who did escape. There's no good reason to extort sexual favors from someone in exchange for food. These are deep structural problems that force people to either retaliate/lash out or enable people's most exploitative or abusive habits lest they just let themselves die.
And thus, the obvious evils become much less obvious. The game makes a point of subverting the obvious or the well-known when it comes to morals, and I think it does so when it comes to everything else, too. Outside of those societal ills (so far, ch3 might have something else to say), every situation where someone could obviously be shown as the bad person in a situation is immensely more complex than it first appears. So much so that I'd argue that displaying said complexity and subverting simplicity to force/encourage people to analyze things deeper is one of the central themes of the game.
So why, exactly, does he blame so much on her? It's because Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat, and the game is well-aware of this and displays it in ways both obvious and not.
First off: the title screen has Ashley wielding the cleaver, establishing that she’s the violent one. It's covered in blood, too, implying that she's the one more driven to kill. The reality of this is the opposite; Andrew is the one with less hesitation to inflict violence on others, the cleaver is his weapon, and most of the kills in the story are done by him (and fully justified). Ashley might push him to do these violent acts, but… does she?
Her reaction to the death of the first warden is one of utter shock.
And her expression afterwards?
This is not the look of someone who enjoyed the fact that someone killed for her sake. This is not the look of someone who finds joy to be had in violence. It's not even the look of someone who is apathetic towards violence. It almost seems to express shame or guilt, but at the very least, she's timid over it. At the very least, it's an "oh shit, he actually had to do that for my sake" face. Not a "haha, I am making him worse!" face.
Not to mention, not only does Andrew kill the first Warden without a care in the world, he proactively kills the 302 lady to eliminate all witnesses, and because he believes Ashley would want him to. But Ashley actually grills him for it; she didn't want the 302 lady to die, although she hardly had good-person-reasons for it. But that's not my point. The point is that she is not the violent one between the two of them.
The door doesn't open in response to violence, remember?
The game intentionally misleads us.
And what happens when Ashley tries to make him take responsibility for all this violence? To point out that she didn't force him to do anything and that he chose to do all of it, including lock Nina in the box? She lashes out, hits him a few times… and then he goes to strangle her, and doesn't let go until she acknowledges that he has no reason for her to be around. He literally doesn't cease his threat to her life until she acknowledges she's useless to him.
I acknowledge that this isn't the most charitable framing for Andrew, and maybe too charitable for Ashley. After all, she wasn't indignant. She was mocking him. She found it hilarious. But I have reasons for that charitability that I'll go over towards the end. But even with that charitability in mind, I don't think my reading is too off base. Defaulting to laughter or mocking in stressful situations is just what Ashley does. She's not indignant about it; she just finds it hilarious that people keep pretending to be better than her, when they're not.
Andrew killed the 302 lady and used Ashley as a scapegoat to justify it; this is indisputable, stated in the text during the dream. This alone validates Ashley's point of view. There is no interpretation of this event that doesn't paint Andrew as every bit as unscrupulous as Ashley, and thinking she corrupted him into this- when it was both one of the first actions he did on his own in the story and something he explicitly uses Ashley as a scapegoat for- is just ridiculous. It's frankly unreasonable. She has every right to be sick of being used as a scapegoat. And at the very least, whether or not you accept the idea that Andrew only let Ashley go once she acknowledged that she's useless to him, he's still so taken aback by his misinterpretation of Ashley's desires that HE goes to strangle HER.
This is NOT Andrew triumphantly standing up to his abuser. This is both of their masks slipping; Andrew revealing how violent and insistent on keeping up his internal narrative that he is, and Ashley revealing that she's getting tired of being blamed for everything.
And then, when he finally lets her go… she hugs him, and acknowledges that she's happy that Nina is gone, which makes little sense at the face of it. Why would that be her first response to being let go, when it was ostensibly what made Andrew so upset to begin with?
I think, to her, it's a conciliatory gesture. As chapter 2 showed us, she's more than willing to take responsibility for violence to relieve Andrew of stress over it, as evidenced by her finishing off their parents. This is an earlier instance of that; by acknowledging she was happy that Nina was dead, she took responsibility for it. She willingly framed herself as a bad person here, so Andrew wouldn't have to be.
She let herself be the scapegoat, because it's all she ever knew. She put the mask back on.
This alone is enough to challenge the idea that Ashley 'corrupts' Andrew in any meaningful way. How, exactly, can you define it as corrupt when society itself is twisted enough to force these actions to survive? In a more sane world, a lot of their actions would've been bad, sure, but they're also actions that the siblings probably wouldn't have done in a more sane world. Ashley's actions aren't making Andrew worse, they're helping to ensure their survival. You could say that this is still corruptive in its own way, but at that point it seems like your reasoning is motivated by having already had that narrative rather than making a good-faith reading of their dynamic.
At no point did she actually make him worse; he was already like that and just used her as an excuse.
Next up is the Nina situation. This one is obviously cut and dry- Ashley manipulates Andrew into killing Nina because she wants no competition between the two of them. It's not Andrew's fault and Ashley was an evil abuser from the jump. Obvious, right?
No. It's really not.
It's pretty strongly implied that Ashley was mistreated by people her whole life. The Lemon Cupcake scene shows this in more detail, about how people always neglect or ignore her birthdays, but she also says that nobody likes her because she's weird and loud in the Nina flashback too. But unless something big happened in between the two flashbacks, none of this behavior indicates particularly maladaptive or even strange tendencies on Ashley's part. She's a needy, bratty child, and the closest thing to a friend she has- Nina- wants to take away the one thing from her that's a source of comfort and emotional validation.
It's not entirely rational, sure! But it also -makes perfect sense-. NOBODY treated her well throughout her entire life; it's strongly implied that Nina never did either, given Nina's reaction to Ashley being there and the lower left-hand painting past the Questionable door showing her being distant from the two of them. We can also see a star bouncing off of her head, and stars represent closeness in this game, so it shows there was an attempt made somewhere along the line, it's just not clear as to who made the attempt.
At the very least, Nina's reaction of disappointment fed into Ashley's preconceived notions of how people treat her, and how she deserves to be treated. Although, from what has been directly stated, rather than implied, Nina was nothing more than an innocent victim in this scenario; I don't mean to take that away from her.
"But she didn't care when Nina died?"
So? If Nina treated her like trash for most of her life, why should she care? She didn't expect Nina to die. It was just an acceptable consequence. You can say "That's not how normal kids act!" all you want, but there's a level of spite and apathy that comes with intense bullying and emotional neglect that I don't think you really understand unless you've been there to the extent someone like Ashley has implied to be.
Andrew, meanwhile, was the one who told Ashley that they had to lock Nina in the box to keep them in there. He's the one who looked for and found the stick to keep them locked in. You could say he was coerced by an abusive person into hurting someone, sure, but you'd be wrong. Cataclysmically wrong, even. Like, if you actually think that a seven year old girl (nobody wears overalls past the age of seven) can have anything approximating an abusive dynamic with her as the perpetrator with someone both older and stronger than her, you frankly have some issues with women you need to work out. That's simply not how abuse dynamics work at that age.
Andrew wasn't entirely responsible for it either, mind- he was just a kid who should never have been saddled with this kind of responsibility. But that's not my point; the point is that it enables other people, Andrew included, to use her as a scapegoat to avoid his own responsibility. All this scene does is retroactively justify any preconceptions you might've had about them from seeing their adult selves first. But the moment you start digging, it becomes much less obvious who's really culpable here. Andrew was, as evidenced by the blood oath scene, fully aware that he held the advantage over her in strength, and managed to give up nothing when making the oath while he made Ashley swear to silence. He was fully aware that he could've chosen to do better, but he refused, and instead opted to reinforce Ashley's insecurities for the sake of exerting control over her.
I've said before that the 302 lady was murdered without any input from Ashley, but this is also relevant on a meta-level because it's done without any input from the player, either. Both of the murders in chapter 1 were like that, whereas all that we, the player can choose to do in that chapter is either solve puzzles, or hilariously, die. The only person with control here is Andrew, the character, and this is reinforced by the fact that we have no control over him for much of the Nina flashback, too. He locks her in the box regardless of our input, even though Ashley spends a lot of time trying to convince him. The main difference between the Nina flashback and the scenes in the apartment is that Ashley had absolutely no idea that any of that was going to happen in the present, whereas it's something she wanted with Nina- which isn't that big of a difference when discussing how much agency she really has.
As much as the game frames Ashley as a manipulator- and much of the fanbase uncritically accepts- she is given shockingly little in-game control over many of the actions committed. Even in the case of the Hitman- as a good friend of mine pointed out- the only choice the player is given is whether or not to check the closet and be killed; an impulsive decision leading to a swift and unceremonious end. In the end, Andrew is the one given the choice to kill the hitman, and we can consciously choose whether or not his reaction is panicked or measured. No such choice is given to Ashley, as most of her reactions are impulsive and spontaneous rather than planned. This is not the makings of a standard "manipulative evil bitch" trope. She's pretty consistently portrayed as someone with poor impulse and emotional control who loudly and aggressively states her intent in every single scenario she's in.
And you can still call what she says and does manipulative despite that, sure, but at what point are you just pathologizing relatively normal (if extreme and highly emotional) social interactions for the sake of fitting into a narrative you already held?
We see Ashley's status as a scapegoat for people to use to pretend to be normal reach its most blatant with the parents. This time it's pretty cut and dry to anyone that doesn't already have it in their mind that Ashley is evil and unforgivable. Mrs. Graves explicitly brings up the possibility of a normal life without Ashley to Andrew in the basement, and claims that Ashley was at fault for shutting her out. She would've been a normal parent otherwise, right? Well, no; the game wastes no time in showing that this wasn't the case in the Burial ending.
From when Ashley was a baby, Mrs. Graves was already tired of her shit, and too emotionally exhausted to be a parent. Despite her attempts at blaming Ashley, she would've never been a normal parent unless Ashley was a golden child in the same way that Andrew was. And yet Ashley didn't even deny shutting her mom out. She didn't deny the chance to be used as a scapegoat; it was all she ever knew. The fact that Mrs. Graves had the audacity to claim that she was a saint when she was never prepared to be a parent for a child who didn't make it easy, and when she was willing to sell out her children and let them die for a life insurance payment is absolutely astounding.
This alone should've been enough to recontextualize everything we supposedly know about how responsible Ashley really is in all of this, but bad parents have a knack for being great at manipulating both family members and everyone viewing from the outside, including the people playing the game.
And almost including Andrew.
Andrew almost accepting the mom's offer is the single most tragic moment in the game, by far.
Dandy said it best in his video essay: By Ashley leaving Andrew alone with their parents, she showed that she is capable of changing. That she is capable of getting better. She showed that she loves and respects Andrew enough to be able to put aside her usual role as the scapegoat and allow him to make the decision that was for the best for both of them. And make no mistake, it was for the best; if the mom really DID sell out the siblings, and given the two of them were already on the run for supposedly being dead, there was no hope of any of this ever working out. They saw through the conspiracy and knew the truth of how the quarantine operations really worked. They were an active threat to one of the most powerful entities seen in the setting so far, to the point where they had a hitman sent after them.
Mrs. Graves had every reason to sell them out again, for their presence in a public setting was more than enough to put everyone in their family in danger. Mrs. Graves had every reason to believe that the normalcy she wanted was nothing that could ever be grasped again so long as her children were alive, and as such, it was clear that she had nothing to offer either Andrew or Ashley. Ashley trusted Andrew to see through their obvious manipulations and lies, and understand that the parents had nothing left to give them. She trusted him to love her more than the false promises their parents could give.
…And yet.
In spite of it all.
In spite of her love, in spite of clearly displaying that she can grow up and become a person that causes him less stress, and in spite of Ashley showing that all she wants now is their safety and security…
Andrew can still choose to consider Ashley the problem. He can still choose to use her as the scapegoat he always has.
He can still choose to see her as the one thing that caused him to be this way, that stands in between him and normalcy, when she, not once, forced him to do anything.
Were he to accept Mrs. Graves' offer, this would've been the single most tragic moment in the game. It almost was, and still stands to be, because he ignores every indication that things could be better for the sake of his own narrative, and a narrative echoed by much of the fandom.
But no matter what ending was picked, things could be better. They could've been better all along. Compared to chapter 1, their dynamic in chapter 2 is already much healthier. Their banter is less venomous, and while they still poke and prod each other in ways that aren't exactly great, they don't get into the same violent fights we saw in the 302 room. By all accounts, what happened in that room was an outlier. Even when they find themselves in their parents' house, where they stand to do the One Thing That Means They Would Never Be Normal Again, Ever (ignoring the fact that this is already a lost cause by then), Ashley doesn't get into any fights with Andrew in the same way she did back in the apartment. All she wants is affirmation and security. She doesn't even lay into her mom like she lays into Julia over the phone, even in their private conversations.
We’re led to believe that she’s still getting worse because the actions she’s taking are more extreme, but her attitudes and behaviors are much, much different. The actual actions they're taking are so obviously the right thing to do (both morally and practically) that I don't think it's until they eat their parents that you should make a double take and go "Wow, maybe these goblins actually are kinda fucked up," because until then, well… everything is justified! Perfectly so! Even then, eating their parents serves a purpose, even if not a mentally healthy one.
Maybe she’s calmer because she’s in control over the situation, but if the calls she made to Julia are any indication (independent of the theory that she didn’t actually say those things), were she unchanged as a person, she still would’ve lashed out at their mother over how much more useful she is to Andrew than their parents were, or something of that nature. Something about how nothing their mom offers could compete with what Ashley gives. But she makes no such claims. She feels no need to prove anything to her parents, or to reaffirm her place in Andrew’s life even in the face of her mother challenging it (or at least implying such a challenge). Regardless of her insecurities, she’s changed. It’s hard to see, but she has.
And then Andrew can ignore that and consider betraying her because he refuses to believe that she's willing to make their dynamic work, when she shows many different indications of being willing to concede as long as Andrew stops giving her mixed signals.
A friend of mine put it best, and I'm pretty much quoting her word for word here, because of how strongly I agree with it. When I look at Ashley, I find very few actual "flaws." I see familiar wounds.
The Burial ending, despite being triumphant and not nearly as "dark" as some people think, is still very, very sad. A lot of abusive dynamics are characterized by someone having to fight every step of the way to get what they need from the other person, usually some kind of emotional validation or relief. This is what happens between Andrew and Ashley for most of the game: Ashley wants Andrew to treat their relationship as special, to acknowledge there's something to it beyond just him going through the motions. And yet for most of the game, he refuses to, especially in chapter 1. And then, in Burial, when he does…
She's confused.
A lot of people view this as her being afraid of losing control over Andrew, since her "Andy," who she can push around, is gone. Andrew has changed, and the same tricks wouldn't work. But that's not what that is; it's not about control, it's about her finally getting what she wants from him without having to fight. She still thinks about using sex as leverage to keep him around, but that's because she's never understood what it's like to have someone actually want to be around her. And I speak from experience; when you no longer have to fight for every little bit of emotional validation or relief, when you no longer have to keep checking your messages to keep an argument going so you can finally be proven right, when you no longer have to force yourself to let go, to stop engaging, the reaction isn't happiness. It's not relief.
It's confusion. It's discontent.
Because something you've tied so much of yourself up in to is no longer there, despite it being more peaceful, it still feels wrong. The dynamic still has to be this way in your mind, because you've never known anything else. You latch on to whatever you can in order to justify that, and your actions are still heavily biased in favor of maintaining your place in that nonexistent dynamic. This isn't manipulation; it's trauma. And the fact that Ashley almost immediately understands that Andrew is changing is nothing short of a miracle. By consolidating past and present Andrew into a single person rather than splitting them into two, she showing that she can actually heal from that trauma. And all Andrew had to do to enable this is to acknowledge that she CAN change, that things CAN be better, and that everyone who claims to be better than her is full of shit.
I've analyzed the events of the story in a way that may seem needlessly antagonistic to some characters, and overly charitable to others. But I have to ask you, that if you disagree with anything I've said:
Where does that disagreement come from? What about my narrative clashes with your own? -Why- does it clash? Is it because the game presents your interpretation as obvious, whereas mine is not? Is it because you've experienced someone like Ashley before in your life, and you know it when you see it? Maybe you strongly identify with Andrew, and view his status as a doormat with no agency to be obvious? Or did you just accept the narrative that much of the fanbase has taken at face value, without further analysis other than building on top of it?
I don't believe these things to be contrarian; I've held most of these opinions since my first or second playthrough. I don't believe what I do because you don't, I believe what I do because I understand what Ashley has been through. I've experienced a lot of the specific traumas she had, such as deep feelings of isolation and being deprived of the emotional validation I need from the people who need to give it. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, to have who and what I am taken for granted, and to be terrified of being abandoned by the people I need the most. I see what I do because I understand.
And I want to give her that understanding that nobody gave me.
Maybe you should think about it. Why do you take it for granted that Andrew is a doormat who is strung along by Ashley? Why do you find it so odd when the trope of a woman corrupting a good man through leveraging sex is drawn into question? Why is Ashley seen as crazy, when all of her actions are so straightforward and rational? How is she corrupting him, when the single most needlessly violent act in the whole story- outside of the Nina flashback- is done without her influence? Why is Ashley seen as the abusive one when Andrew both threatens and resorts to physical violence and witholds emotional validation?
Weirdly personal tangent aside, Ashley and Andrew are two of the most well-written characters I have ever seen. They're not written like archetypes who interact with each other through a series of tropes; they're written like real people who's words and actions have astoundingly human motivations. They come from places that we can understand and relate to.
And just like people, they deserve respect. In spite of all they've done, they deserve love.
But make no mistake, Ashley is not the one stopping that love from happening. She just has the audacity to still want it in spite of everything telling her that she doesn't deserve it. We're led to believe she wants too much, but all she ever wanted was the bare minimum that she was never given.
And she has every right to be mad about it.
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leviathan vs. leviathan?! (or an idiot's internal struggle)
word count: 2,4k
pairing: GN! reader / Leviathan
contents: ! nsfw minors DNI. pathetic and jealous levi, begging, praising. handjobs. a light crossover with what in hell is bad? featuring its Leviathan as a fictional character.
Leviathan, as the pathetic demon he is, gets terribly jealous over WHB!Leviathan while you play that game. You are willing to reassure him he's the only one for you.
also at ao3 here 🖤
There was a limit to how long he could endure watching you so engrossed in that damn game. The game with the fictional -and inferior- versions of themselves, the Seven Rulers of Hell. How could you be so interested in that when he is right there?!
He could guess that, in some way, it’s a compliment, considering it would mean your attraction to him transcends the limits of reality and made you want to install the game and meet that Leviathan.
…That Leviathan.
Blond, light-colored eyes, a sensual and mysterious gaze that leaves on their knees anyone who has the bliss to look at his graceful and erotic figure, wearing a tight and elegant black suit. He looks nothing like the disgusting and socially awkward otaku he is, the real one.
“Mmm… So, if I level this up I can get that skill… I see.”
While he observes you from the floor cushion, he thinks immediately you’re only pretending to be interested in the gameplay instead of the demons, his insecurity and envy overflowing and shamelessly escaping his control. He should pretend as well, pretend he’s fine with it. But in that moment, he simply doesn’t care.
“Ahhh, there it is! Hey, Levi, you wanna take a look?” You ask innocently, thinking that he also feels curiosity at it when in his insides he only wishes that shithole of a game never existed in the first place. Fuck them. Fuck that… sexy imposter, he bets he could never summon Lotan and destroy the entire Hell or Celestial or Human Realm.
“Nope, pass.” He says in an indifferent voice as he pretends to focus his attention in an allegedly more engaging game in his console. His pout still goes unnoticed by you, so you insist.
“You gotta be kidding, you really don’t wanna meet your alter ego? He even has completely voiced lines! His voice actor apparently has experience doing these kinds of things, hehe.” You say as you stare at your phone’s screen, with your arms propped on the edge of the bathtub, poking out slightly, while you await your demon’s answer.
“Nope, not interested. I’m grinding so leave me alone.”
His curt tone now actually grabs your attention back to him, and there’s no way you can ignore his expression. He’s literally huddled up in a ball, sulking and avoiding at all costs looking at your direction. You find it hard to contain your laughter in that moment, but making fun of him may not be the best decision. This is the Avatar of Envy.
Smiling to yourself, you get out of his bathtub and move closer to him, laying down behind him and draping your arm around his waist, pulling him into a hug. Without expecting the sudden physical contact, he makes a little jump at your action. “H-Hey! What are you doing?! Get out and stay over there with your little game, since he clearly is a better Leviathan than me, right?”
He must be joking… Is he really that obvious? Now you can’t hold back the laugh, but you do the effort to make it look like a silly, flirty giggle.
“Levi~ What are you saying? No matter what, I only want you,” you tell him in a sweet voice while you nuzzle your cheek against his shoulder, his back still turned on you.
“Don’t lie. Deep down, you’d like me to be like that, don’t you?” A tinge of sarcasm is found at the end of that sentence, jealousy fueling his words as he keeps going. “He’s sexier, his voice is more attractive and deeper, and he looks absolutely dreamy. Aaand he totally must have a better body, obviously, ‘cuz he was created for that. Oh, and he doesn’t have this horrible tail I grow in my demon form. Does he even have demon traits or is he just a pretty boy with horns? Hmph.” He scoffs and continues, “And I bet he wouldn’t info dump you or make you all bored with my stupid animes all the time. And he doesn’t have a 2D waifu or husbando since that’s totally disgusting and unattractive, right? Also-.” You can’t help interrupting.
“What the fuck, Levi” You feel like cringing at his rant a little bit but now you’re entertained. “Have you really been staring at him that much? Wow, I mean, I thought you didn’t care about him at all.” You finish that sentence with another giggle, knowing you could be entering more dangerous territory with the teasing, but deciding to test your luck and see how he takes it.
“N-No!! Don’t be ridiculous! Aghh, you normie,” he says grumbling. Mmm… You figure you’ll have to convince him otherwise before he sinks in his bad mood even further.
You reach your hand to his chest, caressing lightly above the fabric of his hoodie, and you get your lips close to his ear. “You seriously believe those pixels are better than you? When you’re this amazing, Leviachan~” You purr his name while you press your fingers over his thick muscles, wanting to emphasize his body’s appeal. “No one makes me feel like you. No one ever will. You’re the only one for me.” You finish with a kiss directly on his neck, sensing how he shivers at the gesture.
“H-Hey! You’re trying to make fun of me?”, he says with a confrontational voice, but you know it won’t last long if you play your cards well.
“No, love. I mean it. You want me to prove it to you?”
You embrace him from the back with both of your arms, sneaking your hands below his clothes. You rub your palms over the hot skin of his torso, fondling him without any subtlety in your intentions, desire starting to flow through you while you cover him with pecks on his nape, his neck, and his shoulder.
“Ngh!” Leviathan responds immediately at your ministrations, air escaping through heavy, ragged breaths while you delight with his reactions. His sensitivity is adorable.
One of your hands travels to his v line, sensing the hard muscle there in direction to his crotch. Expectant, you follow the trail and slide your hand under the hem of his sweatpants that are already flaunting his quickly growing hardness through the fabric. An exciting sight, indeed, that you only want to put your hands onto. And as much as he tries to play difficult to get, he’s easy when you know what to say, where to touch, how to fire his own want too.
You decide to continue with the sweet nothings. “How am I supposed to look elsewhere, hmm? Please tell me because I couldn’t if I tried.” Your hand palms his length through his underwear as he gasps, trying to fight his urges and wanting to prove you wrong even though it’s almost impossible for him now, not when he can feel your touch so vividly, so irresistible.
“A-Ah…” A moan comes out finally as you reach under the fabric and fully grab his erection, your own composure faltering at the sensation of his scorching skin of his long, thick cock.
“Levi.” You say in a low voice while you circle your hand around it, gripping it greedily and dragging it down in a slow, tormenting movement. Your voice is almost a whisper, deviously teasing him “I bet you’re bigger than him”. He shivers at the touch, gasping as your grip goes down, then up, torturing him in a delicious, slow pace. You always enjoy taking your time when it comes to feeling all of him, as much as you can. No one else can have the honor of touching the Third Ruler of Hell like this.
As if awakening something feral in him, a growl comes out while you keep working him with your hand, desire pooling in you as you feel his frame stiff. Before you can continue, he grabs your wrist and turns his head to your direction.
“Prove it”, his voice is hoarse while he looks at you from above with serious, lust-filled gaze that fails at hiding his true desperation. The sunset in his eyes almost nonexistent as black engulf his aching stare. “Show me I’m the only one you need.” You notice him gulping, and conveying his own longing, he gives up his dignity in a low, weak voice “...Please.”
You smile viciously at the display, grabbing firmly the base of his cock and pulling a grunt out of him.
“Of course, love. You’re the only demon for me, Leviathan.”
You kiss under his jaw, licking that sensitive spot for him while you start a quicker pace. A sweet groan echoes through the spacious room, and his body tenses as your grip twists, giving a circular motion that only makes him fall deeper into delirium, a touch so delicious he melts into it, resting his body against yours while his legs spread giving you more access to anywhere you want.
“That’s it, sweetheart, you like this, don’t you?” Your sultry voice makes him shudder, completely surrendering himself to you. In this moment, he couldn’t care less about the other Leviathan, fuck him, he doesn’t even exist but he does, he does and he’s right here for you to take as you please.
“MC…! Yes, yes, I like it, please,” he cries out, feeling his toes curling at the buzzing ecstasy that fills him violently, your other hand rubbing his nipples under the hoodie, pinching one and gently fondling it after, turning him into a bigger, hungry mess.
He suddenly wonders if you’re even comfortable, his weight resting more on you as he squirms, but any thought dies when your thumb rubs the slit of his dick, eyes watering at the pleasure that defies his own self-control. “Fuck, MC, ahh!!” he whines while precum comes out, making your movements smoother as the strokes only grow harder and faster.
You are delighted by his sounds, possessiveness and power clouding your mind with the desire of him to beg you more, to beg for you to own him and show him he’s the only one. He still gets like that, insecure and jealous over the most stupid things, but you’re ok with it. You’ll reassure him as much as he needs. If that’s the kind of partner he needs, you’ll gladly be that.
“C’mon, baby, tell me, what do you want from me?” You sound playful and delirious yourself, marking your words nibbling his neck again afterwards, starting to abuse the red skin in there. He cries at the bite, closing his moist eyes and his hips moving with increasing frenzy.
“MC… Please, keep saying it… Say you love, say you need me, ah! As much as I need you… please…”
There it is. More begging. It sends electricity through your own body, and you let him fuck your hand as he cries out. You’re as desperate for him as he is for you, and you can only obey him.
“I love you, Levi.” A hungry adoration can be heard in your words, your whisper loud enough for his ears only. You bite his shoulder while he erratically rocks his hips into your hand, searching his own selfish pleasure and bringing himself at the edge of his release. “Come for me, love. You’re mine, mine, mine… I need you, only you.”
Those final words are too much for him, a loud moan resonating as he spills his orgasm on your hand, flows of cum leaking and making the last drags thicker and strained, as he finally collapses. His mind is still on the clouds, vision white as he slowly starts regaining his consciousness. His body starts relaxing, still in your tight embrace, and his breathing is gradually becoming steady once again.
You kiss his jaw, his lobe, and his cheek while you wait for him to recover his senses, soft pecks tenderly awakening him from his intense climax.
“…MC… You’re amazing… hehe.” The light chuckle that decorates his voice at the end makes you smile at his sincerity.
“You are amazing. Now give me a kiss, love.”
He shifts and gets on his side, finally facing you properly. He complies and kisses you gently, a wave of affection and unreleased want filling you as his soft, moist lips presses against yours. You smile into it, letting it grow more passionate in an intimate moment of calm and blissfully quietness. The movements of your mouths are languid, lazy, as you enjoy tasting each other.
After a while, you both part and regain your breathing. The tension between your legs is starting to rise as your own hunger remains unattended. You decided to tease him some more in order to get what you want from him.
“Levi… I need you…” You lock your eyes on his, eager arousal filling your thoughts of getting to claim him one more time.
He widens his eyes as he gets the meaning of your words, smiling and pecking your lips once again. “Yeah… Let me do it for you.”
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As you two hide under the cozy blanket, he admires the way the voice actor seems to be giving his all in the porn scene of the game happening in that instant. “Wow… this is hot, I give them that.”
You enjoy how he’s finally open to try the game and share this… unique situation with you. You chuckle, “I told you, you wouldn’t hate it. Besides, take it as a compliment, you’re so cool you inspired this little guy to exist!” You scratch the imposter demon through the screen, red lines appearing on his skin as the sound of a breathy moan comes out. “Look, he’s into pain like you sometimes.”
He gives an exaggerated noise as a complain. “H-Hey! That’s… Wait, how would they even know?! It’s just a coincidence… Right?” You laugh at how he ends up admitting it.
“Yeah, but an incredible one.” You say as blond Leviathan whines while you keep stimulating him. You try to give your Levi the phone. “Here, do something to him too.”
He looks at it for a moment, contemplating his options. “Mmm, I don’t know. Wouldn’t that count as some type of masturbation?”
You burst out laughing at that.
“Hahahaha! Holy shit. Maybe? I don’t know, you aren’t him, so...”
“Yeah, I don’t know, it’s kinda weird? Doing these things to this 2D version of myself?”
“…You’re really saying that as if you haven’t jacked off to multiple hentai games before. The audacity of this pervert.”
He looks at you with a horrified expression. “Shut up!! That’s totally different! It has nothing to do with myself! It’s with other characters.”
He really has no shame anymore.
#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#obey me smut#obey me x reader#obey me fanfic#leviathan smut#leviathan x mc#leviathan x reader#whb leviathan#what in hell is bad#hope i'm not spaming their tag but well since it's part of the plot...#winter writes#guess who's back
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having read several 30k books about the falls of various chaos legions, Fulgrim is SO funny because it's like:
Horus: externally has SEEMINGLY logical, well-reasoned justifications for engaging in rebellion. Post Isstvan, he is approximately the same guy as before and externally reasonable, even if he is cold, cruel, and calculating
Angron: literally exactly the same before and after rebelling, the man has a chip in his brain that makes him love murder so loyalist!Ronnie and rebel!Ronnie read basically identically. the rebellion doesn't change him that much at first in terms of the level or intensity of his murderhoboing
Magnus: the fall of the Thousand Sons is like a Shakespearean tragedy level of pride and misunderstanding, but Magnus going to Horus makes perfect sense especially considering he is literally like 20 ghosts in a trenchcoat, and he's clearly still ~trying~ to do his own fucked up version of the right thing after getting Bane'd by Russ
Fulgrim: picks up a sword and INSTANTLY becomes the most vindictive mentally unstable honors kid you've ever met. Polite art loving loyalist to BATSHIT Dorian Grey in 100 pages. Decides who will die on Isstvan III not based on their loyalties, but on who has dealt him narcissitic injuries (based on what a talking demon sword is telling him). Engages in heated debates with a portrait of himself painted in the blood and viscera of a murdered man. Stabs his captain in his quarters and gets kind of turned on about it approximately. 5 seconds after deciding to turn on the emperor. This man was a corked bottle of pure chaos just waiting for a screw and it is amazing.
#New favorite primarch unlocked#Wh40k#warhammer 40k#warhammer 30k#warhammer 30000#Black library#Horus heresy#Chaos primarchs#Primarch#Fulgrim
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One Hell of a Butler Pt. 4
(Arlecchino x Fem! Reader Blurb)
A/N: Having the shittiest week of my life I think, school has never deicded to screw me as hard as it does now. Should I be doing this instead of studying/preparing for a really big test tomorrow? No, but I needed to get this out of my system before I start locking in. Sorry for not very good writing.
Wanted to give reader a personality, so sorry if not too much of Arlecchino, and not a lot like yourself. I had fun writing reader at least.
Series Masterlist
Content warning: semi-graphic violence done on the reader, blood, swearing, y'all probably hate me for the ending
When you stepped on this path, you knew that you would be endangering your life, though you had justified the risks with your perfected revenge–even if it meant prancing on the road to hell. With acknowledgement of this indubitable fact, you persisted on, even though you knew next to nothing about this walk of life. You, engaging with the underground and the scum of the city, pretending to be one of them, to be able to walk among them?
You had gotten arrogant. Having a demon butler does that to you, apparently.
You always were a good bluffer, a good poker face, a pretty liar. You were smart, knew how to spin a half-truth into a neatly arranged pile of bullshit with a bow on top. Yet you should have known that that would be your downfall. After all, when your life and revenue relied on your word one would think you knew better than to come a client, no?
Well, it was their fault for believing it. Why did you have to be the one to pay?
You really hate the taste of iron in your mouth. You wipe the blood from the corner of your lips with your knuckle and stagger back a bit to stand up more right, clutching your bruised cheek in your hand.
“Are you done running away?” One of the men that surrounds you asks.
“Why, you tired already?” You snark back with a sneer that promptly gains you a kick to your stomach, sending an ache to your stomach. Tumbling to the alley floor, you grit your teeth to repress any more noises of agony.
Only you had to have summoned the slowest demon on Earth. Damn it, what was taking her so long? You should have taken her with you tonight.
Your eyes skitter around for anything you could use, but it seems that all you're surrounded by is garbage until you catch the glint of something.
“Keep mouthing off. You won't be able to do that for much longer. He wants us to bring you in mint condition, but as long as you can still talk, we can do whatever we want with you,” the same man that kicked you responded, crouching down right before your lying figure. A hand grips your strands, your scalp burning as he tugs your head up to his eye level.
“Fucking bitch.” If she doesn't show up in two minutes, you swear to hell you will act more of a demon than she is the next time you see her.
A palm slams against one side of your face, and an audible slap reverberates throughout the alley way. Your cheek stings and your ears ring from the whiplash. Tears nearly well up in the corner of your eyes. One of your hands rummage through the pieces of junk behind you, before finding and clasping around the neck of a glass bottle.
“That's all it took to shut you up, huh?” the man smirked maliciously. He raises another hand to assault you before you swing your arm, bringing the bottle to the side of his head. The glass shatters upon impact and your assailant reels back. Unfortunately, as you attempt another swipe at him, a hard fist meets your cheek, and you're out in an instant.
Your last thoughts are on how to reprimand a demon.
The first thought when you wake up is that your neck hurts. Though you can't see–likely because of a blindfold–you feel that you're tied up to a chair with some sturdy rope, and there's a rag of some sort in your mouth, secured behind your head.
And damn it, you can still taste the blood in your mouth.
So you've been kidnapped.
Despite the incessant attempts of steadying your breath, you can't seem to relax your drumming heart and the anxiety that pricks underneath your skin. You squirm in your binds, causing the chair you're seated on to make an awful screech when it moves. It pierces your ear drums, and an expletive is muffled by your gag.
Your futile struggling gains the attraction of someone in the room and footsteps begin to approach until they stop right in front of you. There’s the shuffling of some clothes, as you feel fingers reach in front and take out the rag from your mouth.
Beneath the fear, you can't help the seething, brimming fury that builds inside of you. You spit in whoever’s face that decides to touch you. You know you've hit your mark when profanities are thrown your way. A smug grin makes its way up your face, until it's slapped off your face, the whiplash causes your ears to ring and your head to be foggy.
“Stupid woman. I'll make it simple for you. I know you know what we want.”
Collecting some courage and a bit of your sass as a shield, you take a deep breath. Remaining silent, you ponder which client this one was. Knitting your eyebrows in puzzlement, you ask audaciously, “Who are you again?”
“I'll give you one chance. Tell us, and we'll let you go.”
You couldn't help yourself and let out an amused chuckle, throwing your head back. Your giggle dies after a few seconds and you lazily tilt your head towards his direction.
“So you really think I'm that stupid?” You shot back with a cutting remark. “You're a shit liar. You didn’t even once consider letting me go. Why would you let go of a skilled information broker when you have her right here? I would have considered giving you the answer, but I changed my mind since you decided to lie in front of my face. Fucker.”
The speaker audibly grinded his teeth and before you can mentally brace for it, a hard force slams into your chest, and you swear you hear something crack at the impact. Agony blossoms from your sternum, and the faintest tears well up in the corner of your eyes. The hit is enough to make the chair tumble back, making your head bang painfully against the hard, cold floor.
The male walks towards you and stops right next to your ear. Something cold and gunpowder-y smelling presses against your skull–a gun, you think. “Keep acting like a smartass and you won't live for much longer.”
As you're about to answer, you feel the temperature drop immediately, the room suddenly becoming chilly. You've never been more grateful for the frigidity–it was about time she showed up, stupid demon servant taking so long. “You should worry about your life first,” you merely suggested with the most diabolic of smiles.
The familiar sound of stilettos click against the floor, becoming louder and louder as it nears, and her fury is eminent–almost exuding out of her like the stench of death that follows.
“Where are my guards? What did you do to them?” The man demands, his voice cracking from the evident fright, as he steps back. A bang pierces through the room, gunshot after gunshot is shot, presumably at Arlecchino, until the gun starts clicking. He must have ran out of bullets. You're not particularly worried for your butler, in fact, depraved glee is the only thing that you feel. The smile doesn't stop stretching over your face. You really wish you could see the sight; that is, Arlecchino's unharmed form and the man's shocked face.
Arlecchino's response almost makes you forgive her for being late instantly. “Where are they? Don't worry. You'll be with them soon enough.”
For the briefest point of time, you felt a smidge of sympathy for your attacker. No amount of bullets can kill her.
Bloodcurdling screams echo throughout the room, making you cringe– although you were glad that the man was suffering, the noise is horrendous and earsplitting. The distinct noise of flesh being ripped off and then a god awful sound of a crunch follows after, silencing the man once and for all. The intense stank of iron fills your nostrils.
“I apologize for subjecting you to such repulsive cries, my Lady. I couldn't contain myself,” Arlecchino’s voice finally reaches out to you and her footsteps approach you. Firstly, the blindfold is pulled up, giving back your vision as you can finally see for a while. The first thing you're met with is your butler's face, who is unsurprisingly unmarred. However, there is a tight knit in her brows in her otherwise blank expression, a tension unseen before in the demon.
Concern, you skeptically guess, forms on her face. It's foreign, perhaps the first time you've seen it before on her. Seeing something like that, you suddenly experience a sensation more unsavory tasting than the metallic tang of your blood. It's bitter, perhaps. An inexplicable unease bubbles within you, and your skin burns like a scorching torch grazing up your skin. Why does her expression generate this sort of reaction?
"You're late," you manage out, swallowing thickly any previous unease, your tone expressing evident annoyance. She hums in response. Raising a clawed finger, she slices your bounds easily, freeing you.
“My apologies,” she says, and you note that she lacks the usual refinement in her words. “Finding you proved to be a bit difficult.”
There's a brief pause and she helps you stand and you regard the room you're in. The pungent smell of iron fills the room, coming from beyond the doorway in which you can see some of the remnants of the bodies that Arlecchino killed. You direct your attention away from such a horrid sight. How she was able to cause this massacre without making any noise, you couldn't fathom.
It's not the first time she's been the center of a slaughter. In a disturbing way, it's almost nostalgic, reminiscent of your first meeting with Arlecchino, when you've summoned her at your greatest time of need. Broken and desperate you were, you screamed out your final plea which no god acknowledged before she did. You were pleading to live. But now, just minutes before, you were practically taunting death. Have six months accompanying a demon changed you that much?
A brief contact pulls you away from your thoughts when you feel something cold press against the corner of your lips. You flick your attention to Arlecchino as your heart leapt at the sudden movement. Her thumb wipes away the blood that seeps with a tender stroke.
"You're hurt," the demon says almost matter-of-factly if it weren't for how curt it seemed–like there was an urgency with those two words. You repress the urge to question her odd behavior.
“Incredible observation,” you sarcastically remark and you try to brush away her hand, except she grips your chin in between her fingers. Turning your head, before you could react, you feel something cold, yet soft press gently into your bruised cheek. It's a fleeting touch, but instantaneously, you feel heat blossom from the source of contact–incredibly hot, as if your skin is lit ablaze just from mere lips. Arlecchino pulls away quickly, and your fingers dab the tingling skin where she touched. You expect to feel the aching soreness, but instead, you feel nothing–as if the bruise was never there in the first place.
“What did you do?” You ask in puzzlement. The butler's lip curls up into an amused smirk, most likely enjoying your confusion.
“I healed you.”
“I wasn't aware a demon had the ability to do that.” Let alone with that method, anyways…
“Just another ability of mine as a demon. You know…”
She extends one hand out, using her pointer finger to tilt your chin up, invoking you to gaze into her red-crossed irises. They flicker with a wanton desire when they find your eyes, and there's a deliberate sweep of her tongue over her red lips. Shivers run down your spine as she approaches closer, and her other arm circles your waist with the other hand flat against your lower back. She leans in until she's gazing directly down at you, hot air tickles your nose as she exhales.
Your heart pounds in your ears, making every other sense of yours except touch fade. Your sensitivity to touch is heightened, making every small brush create goosebumps. Your lips part into a small gasp from her action. Why do you suddenly feel so inexplicably hot?
“Your lips seem bruised as well.”
She leans down to close the distance. Your heart races and races until you’re convinced it'll explode as she nears. At the last moment, you jerk your head away.
“No. No, they're not,” you exhale out breathlessly in between pants. Your cheeks burn fiercely, hardly able to hear your own words from your thundering heartbeat in your ears.
Arlecchino stiffens immediately, before leaning back. You're grateful for the added distance, feeling the abrupt weight on your shoulders lifted. You dare glance over her expression. Once more, you're met with another emotion you've never seen before on her. A subtle frown with pursed lips alongside the smallest narrowing of her brows tells the disappointment in her dark abysses. The blackened arms fall away from your body, and for the strangest reason, you want her touch to linger.
The bitterness in your mouth returns.
“Get me out of here, Arlecchino,” is all you can say. The demon stares at you for several moments, before closing her eyes and hardening her face, the confounding expression gone in an instant. Suddenly, she becomes familiar again.
“As you wish, my Lady.”
You think you prefer getting beaten the shit out of over the gnawing sensation in your chest. Your heart swells achingly. You can’t fathom why.
#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact fanfics#genshin impact fic#genshin fics#arlecchino#genshin impact arlecchino#genshin arlecchino#edgeray.writes#edgeray.blog
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Spoilers!!!
"Loser Baby" frame analysis (1/3)
(With lyrics)
I feel obligated to do this with all of my ships.
So!
With the power of two sugar free redbulls, skinny pop and the homoerotic audacity the makers gave me!
Lets do this!
Red = Husk
Pink = Angel Dust
Purple = Both
Normal = My commentary
[HUSK]
So things look bad, and your back's against the wall
Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless
You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall
Can't face the world sober and dopeless
You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked
Well, let me just say you're correct
So, Angel just let lose he wants to self destruct to the point of being too broken for Valentino to want him. He has a outburst and Husk is the only one there to see it.
So what does kitty boi do?
Sing a song, of course.
But where Charlie would sing something encouraging and positive...Husk wants reality. He knows Angel plays a role to deal with all the messed up shit he's in. He showed Husk a sliver of his true self. And Husk knows he cant break that wall, Angel has to.
So he engages by slapping him with that reality, snapping him out of his funk.
[ANGEL DUST]
Wait, what?
[HUSK]
You're a...loser, baby
Angel gets into Husk's space often to flirt/piss the bartender off. So why not return that energy to Angel when he's vulnerable and unassuming?
Angel often grabs his face, making Husk face and look at him by force. Husk doesn't go that far.
Just his finger on his nose. Just enough contact to get Angel's attention and make sure he's paying attention to his words.
A loser, goddamn baby
You're a fucked up little whiny bitch
Husk needs more of a reaction, so why not casually insult him?
Angel often thinks this about himself; but Husk says it out loud.
[ANGEL DUST]
Hey!
And Angel is full on reactive, listening and giving Husk his full attention. It worked.
[HUSK]
You're a loser, just like me
[ANGEL DUST]
Thanks, asshole
[HUSK]
You're a screw's-loose-boozer
An only one-star reviews-er
You're a power-bottom at rock bottom
But you got company
Husk is successfully shifting Angel's sadness out, but also getting on his level, however, notice how his head is lower than Angel's.
Angel often sees himself as powerless. Looked down upon. And Husk takes a moment to look up at Angel, showing him he doesn't see him as lower, he sees him as an equal. "You've got company."
His issue wasn't Angel being a porn star or promiscuous, like others and even other hotel staff/patrons do. It was him putting on a mask and not being himself towards Husk.
Fun thing about cats, they show thier belly to only those they trust. So Husk laying on the filthy ground with his belly to Angel's back, he's allowing himself to be vulnerable right back. (My cat did the same before biting the shit out of my hand, the little demon spawn.)
[ANGEL DUST]
This supposed to make me feel better?
[HUSK]
There was a time I thought no one could relate
To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged
But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!
We're all livin' in the same shit-sandwich
Husk then sits next to Angel, closer and on his level.
They're in similar situations. Not just being in Hell, but signing themselves away.
[ANGEL DUST]
I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak
Angel angrily points out the obvious, but to him, its more than a fact. Its a shameful truth he hates. Husk laughs because "same!"
[HUSK]
Haha! And you think that makes you unique?
Get outta here, man!
He holds a hand out to Angel to help him stand, but its more than that. It's understanding. The loss of control under someone, to one's vices, to ones self destructive wishes.
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Kny characters ranked from least to most likely to be scammed
Sanemi: He is so paranoically distrustful to everyone and everything around him (himself included, always) to the point where it is reaching delusional, self-destructive proportions. Sorry for the mental illness king but at least you aren't getting scammed.
Iguro: Growing up in a cult taught him relatable, every day lessons like: If a snake demon asks you to feed your babies to her in exchange for gold, maybe, don't do that? Being raised in this environment made him apply a highly suspicious framework to so many things, a lot of times to his own detriment. Like assuming that every single male wants to steal his crush away because they dare breathe the same air as her or god forbid, engage in small-talk. Despite all that he still manages to rank above Sanemi, somehow.
Shinobu: She will allow people think that they are succeeding in scamming her when in actuality SHE is scamming THEM. We are talking Jimmy McGill level shenanigans over here.
Giyuu: He just wants to fuck off in some hole and die he does not care about your essential oils #toodepressedtogetfinessed
Muichiro: Manages to avoid being scammed by being completely apathetic and dismissive towards the scammer (assuming he is even bothering listening to them in the first place) and immediately forgetting what even the scam was all about in the first place.
Uzui: Most of the times he is able to use his critical thinking skills to distinguish scam from not and he can be a pretty decent conman himself, although he is not immune to being overtly suspicious or on the other end, people getting the better of him.
Gyomei: Is able to objectively analyse and evaluate an issue in order to form a judgement without being gullible or paranoid, like a healthy functioning adult. Congrats on the fully developed pre-frontal lobe, Himejima.
Rengoku: The fact that he suspected that a random 15 year old human was one of Muzan's spies and thus should be killed without any substantial evidence shows us that he is able to be highly suspicious of people (and it makes us glad that he never pursued a career in law) but this does NOT negate the fact that he fell for the greatest scam of all time (fatherly approval)
Tanjirou: People assume that due to Tanjiro's age and kind nature that he would be easy to scam, what these people don't know is that Tanjiro is a human lie detector. Things do get trickier for him though when the interaction is not happening via face-to-face conversation.
Inosuke: Inosuke manages to avoid being scammed by 1) being raised in the wild by boars for most of his life thus blissfully unaware of pyramid schemes 2) resorting to violence when he finds people annoying 3) no sane scammer wanting to chose the boy wearing a taxidermied boar head as a target. But he is NOT immune to getting scammed when his physical capabilities are getting called into question.
Zenitsu: You would assume that due to Zenitsu's advanced sense of hearing he would be able to distinguish truth from lie, but recalling the fact that 8 different girls managed to scam him out of his money and make him drown in debt and that in the Kimetsu Gakuen comics Douma managed to sell him overpriced water under the guise that it was a love potion I guess that's simply not the case, at least not when the possibility of getting a girlfriend is involved. Thankfully for Zenitsu "hot babes in you area" pop-ups did not exist in Taishou era Japan.
Mitsuri: She has a huge heart and wants to believe the best in people even if said people have a huge white van parked outside with a sign saying "Free Candy"on it,alas.
And lastly HUGE shoutout to all the demons who back when they were still human clicked on a pop-up ad by some Kibutsuji Muzan guy saying "CLICK HERE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE" this unfortunately installed a virus in their brains that drove their already fragile minds to complete insanity. Sad.
#kny#demon slayer#kyojuro rengoku#sanemi shinazugawa#giyuu tomioka#shinobu kocho#gyomei himejima#muichiro tokito#inosuke hashibira#tanjiro kamado#zenitsu agatsuma#mitsuri kanroji#obanai iguro#uzui tengen#kimetsu no yaiba#long post#kny headcanons
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finally got around to putting this into words so here is my submission to the q!bad newsletter titled "q!bad is a good person but a bad human".
arcs like the one q!bad is on are naturally polarising and bring out a lot of strong emotions from views which is amazing, but i think a lot of people are missing the forest for the trees here -- more specifically, who we saw q!bad be for almost six months every day (who we still see him be now).
q!bad is a fundamentally good person by all accounts -- yes, he's a mischievous gremlin, but he's insurmountably generous, selfless in the way he gives without ever expecting anything in return, is dependable at every single turn. even in his lowest moments, he didn't turn his back on that dependability to his own detriment -- he prioritised everyone above himself, not just the eggs but also the other islanders.
q!bad is also... kind. not nice, i actually wouldn't call him nice per se, but he's kind, and loving, and gentle if you know how to read his actions -- just because his lovingness is at times odd to read, it doesn't mean it isn't there.
now, everything i've pointed out so far is not only factually true but also just a spot on indication of what makes a good person, right? well... yes, and no.
by human standards he's not a good person. he lies, cheats, is deceitful and cunning at every turn, is a gaslighter and a manipulator, and his moral compass ends when his emotional attachment does -- he won't hesitate to put his friends through tests and trials that he knows hurt them just to reach a goal, even if it's an ultimate "greater good" type goal.
luckily for q!bad, the man isn't fucking human and so the lense through which we see his character need to be adjusted not only to accommodate his life experience (as we would any character) but also the fact that he's just... not human, he can play pretend and he certainly has spent enough time around humans, but nature vs nurture only goes so far and he was a grown ass adult when he sunk atlantis.
it's honestly just painfully obvious that for better or for worse, q!bad doesn't function like humans do, and i think the best indicator of that is how he views interpersonal relationships, connections, love and trust.
for us, love and trust are intrinsically connected and ultimately need to be present for us to form attachments -- if we don't trust someone, we might get along with them at a superficial level but we won't engage further, right? q!bad sees those two as fundamentally separate parts of relationships -- you cannot argue he doesn't love his friends, or all the eggs, but does he trust everyone? no. because q!bad is very much capable of loving you without trusting you, because his default is distrust. while most of us start a connection with existing trust that can then be broken, he starts them with no trust that needs to be earned.
he doesn't see what's wrong about his friendship with q!foolish, he doesn't see the issue with having been sightseeing at the salem witch trials, pompeii is "the reason he doesn't do beach vacations" and not... yeno, a massive historical tragedy. for q!bad, all of these things are normal because he's a millennia old demon who fundamentally lacks the grasp on some pretty basic human concepts despite his time here (i.e. his whole conversation with q!baghera about lines and mortality).
my point being, q!bad is not a good human, he never claimed to be (on the contrary) and his recent actions show that very well...
... but he *is* a fundamentally good person, without question.
as long as you view the cubito through the lense of our own morality, you'll be depriving yourself of some pretty awesome insights into his character and also just not giving him a fair shake!
he's a terror! he's wiped out civilizations! he's eaten people! he is terrifying and bloody and dark! he's also just a little guy who makes care packages and watches kids and won't turn away anyone in need! all of this is him and for a fair analysis you need to consider the entirety of him for better and for worse!
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frustrated that people in the obey me community just
act like asmo is a rapist?
like, yeah, lust is a hell of a thing, but we have no proof in the game's text that explicitly stated asmo has ever engaged in unconsensual or dubiously consensual sexual situations.
we barely have textual evidence this man fucks. he's flirty as hell, but we never have any hints or insinuations that he actually goes all the way.
people will say shit like 'well, given the game's rating' the rating doesn't enter into it. how many card stories have we had with lucifer that heavily implied he's going to fuck mc? we never see this with asmo, even in his card stories.
like i saw people who were upset about the (spoiler) lesson where solomon talked about making a pact with asmo while asmo was under the influence and people acted like asmo had it coming?
and his whole 'charm' thing? we don't really know how it works. it doesn't seem to function like a date rape drug though, nor do we ever see asmo using it like one.
none of the other brothers, or the rest of the main cast receive this level of demonization (ha), not even belphie or thirteen.
and i just can't help but see a bit of homophobia here, as asmo is the most stereotypically queer out of all the cast. he's very gnc, his mannerisms very much evoke the 'gay best friend' trope and he's also the only cast member to openly flirt with the other love interests (excluding his brothers, of course.)
i see it, and yall need to cut it the fuck out.
#obey me#swd obey me#shall we date obey me#swd om#swd asmodeus#obey me asmodeus#asmodeus obey me#om asmodeus
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Thank you to everyone that participated, we managed to bring twenty two wonderful pieces of fic/art into the world!
Please show the authors/artists some love for all of their efforts, comments and kudos make everyone’s day ♥️
All you need is love and some cats by Astron03
“I think Teddy is finally getting used to the flat.”
One sentences was enough to completely break Daniel's world.
A story of misunderstandings and some olympic level jumping to conclusions.
Comfortable in chaos by winhighmaintenancemachines
Max and Lewis know the terms that they both deal in, the choices they make every day. Their whole world is walking on a spider’s thread.
Or, the NICU doctor/nurse au.
De Sebly (Part 2) by @miesgaga
Most people only meet one soulmate goose with a connection to them. Soulmates were sometimes romantic and sometimes platonic. Family bonds happen too, but those were rare.
Max met his goose, fell in love and felt like his life couldn't get better.
This is not that story.
Max meets his second goose, this is that story.
GBB Server Exchange by anangelwillfly
Headspins by @albertparks
“I do have feelings for someone else though.” Max’s comment breaks Daniel from his thoughts. “I broke up with her because of it.”
Daniel’s gobsmacked at first, before saying, “Who is she, Maxy?”
It’s a poor attempt at a joke, but now it’s his turn to be nosey, to put his beak in business that isn’t his. Max has never been single for long, he can’t imagine now would be any different.
Except Max says, “It’s a man. And it doesn’t matter.”
I don’t get much sleep most nights (I’m seeing you in every dream) by @enjoythebutterflies
In the real world, Max is well-versed in breaking more than just records.
The one where Max and Daniel dream.
in paper rings by @thewindowatkirkland
"Maxy I would fly to Vegas with you tomorrow and pay some guy dressed as Elvis to marry us. I don't care about any of this crap, I don’t care about anything other than you being happy and us being married. I thought you wanted all this, but if you don’t, then fuck it all."
And Max just has to kiss him, hard and fast and certain before he says "okay, let's fucking do it. Let's go, tomorrow. just me and you and a fake Elvis."
OR: after a ten year engagement and with an extravagant wedding all planned out, they decide to elope to vegas instead.
It was written in the stars, but you erased it by @formula-maxiel
Max was twelve when his father had his soul mark removed. He had no idea how much anguish it would cause him.
Let me guide you by @waddlingpenguin
Max learns something about himself.
Daniel is more than happy to indulge.
listen to the slow parts by winhighmaintenancemachines
Neither Max or Daniel are the one to find the baby. That honor belongs to Christian, and Christian alone.
lock it up by @33max
Max is in their bed frantically humping a pillow that he’s folded in half. He’s shoved his little dick into the crease of it and he’s rabbiting his hips, he’s not got the equipment to properly thrust – if he pulled his hips back too far his cock would slip out of the fold.
the meaning of a flower by @meecamille
silly cute fluffy stuff led me to flowershop and hopeless romantic boys.
of angels and demons by @shitferraristrategy
Daniel loves to corrupt his little angel~ <3
platinum trophy by togenkyo
Fame, fortune, fortitude: For the man who has everything, what's left?
postcards from the past by @thatsapodium
I’ll send you another postcard soon. Miss you, love Max
A selection of postcards from the time Max backpacks across Australia.
Punch it! by @stardust-speedway6
An animatic of Lando and Max.
Max admonishes a punching bag.
Static by @chaoticzoomies
Walking into the Red Bull garage that Friday something felt off but Max couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling but just slightly off kilter, like someone had shifted things a few centimetres to the left. As he rounded the corner to the operations desk it clicked.
stay in for the summer (it's quiet, i'm trying) by @33and3
Take me to the Water by @fricative-pharyngiale
Still, he yearned for more, for everything Daniel could give him and then the rest too, his greediness all-consuming until it was all he could feel. He wanted to be the muse of every song Daniel wrote, so that they would be immortalised together. He wanted to take his poet to the river and drown him in his waters, keeping him close forever. He wanted to let his body liquefy so Daniel could drink him entirely, not a single drop left behind. He wanted to drain him of his blood and replace it with water from his river so they’d be the same, always.
A series of vignettes about nymph Max and his poet
The Tale of Max Verstappen by @danielfuckingricciardo
During the summer break, Max and Daniel take a trip to the Lake District to spend some time together alone.
When Max suggests they visit the Beatrix Potter museum, Daniel is only happy to take him on a date and treat him to a gift.
until I hear it from you by @fourmula1
DeuxMoi (also stylized Deuxmoi or @/deuxmoi) is a pseudonymous Instagram account which publishes celebrity gossip.
with the right amount of sugar by flyingkageyama
Max only wanted to find solace in one of the coffee shops he knew was a few miles away from campus, he didn’t expect one of the employees with a crappy drawing of a honey badger on his name tag to come try and get him to talk about his problems.
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Headcanon
Alastor being disdainful and aloof when he sees residents playing with and cooing over their pets like fat nuggets and kiki.
But perhaps one day as he is speaking with dear charlie in an overly paternal manner that is causing lucifer to nearly snap hus cane in half, theres a ruckus from the lobby and panicked shouting.
In seconds a great bounding Thing is hurtling through the area all lolloping teeth and claws and floppy tongue.
Vaggie finds her spear knocked absently aside by a microphone staff as Alastor queries a pleasantly surprised, "...vark?"
Surprising the rest of the hotel by not aporising the shark dog thing when it actively jumps up to knock them both over. "VARK! What are you doing here? Yes its quite swell to see you too, what have you been fed? You seem a tad slim. No matter, i think i can find a lovely fresh femur for you in my kitchen, hmm, would you like that? I do believe you would."
"Uh so, how d'you know vox's pet, Smiles?" Angel asked, knowing the creature from the rare times it would gallivant about Vee tower trying to find vox, velvette or valentino for attention and treats.
That snaps alastor back into the reality of being on the floor covered in shark spit, thanks to excited licking, aand he gently moves the shupppy off him (all 7ft) to stand. Pointedly ignoring the giant shiny eyes charlie is making at the rare affectionate scene.
"Simply from association with that insipid little picture box a few decades before, when Vark was an infant and no larger than your porcine companion rotund chicken pieces." Alastor deflects.
He shoots a warning glare at Husk when the latter snorts in response. Which is ignored.
"Sure, if thats what you wanna call it..."
Sensing gossip, Angel slides back to the bar, fat nuggets swinging wildly like a ferret.in a secondary set.of arms. "Oh, gossip on the scandalous secrets of THE radio demon, huskie? Do tell."
Before anyone can, the front doors burst open as a frantic swarm of sauce drenched voxtech employees arrive, all low.performers made into tasty little enticements for the missing pet. Followed by the overlord himself,on a three way call.with vel, val and their own swarm of worker treats. Clearly all searching with different levels of desperation and arguing back and forth.
"...-ell maybe you need to check you locked the fucking door BEFORE the orgy, val, its common fucking sense!"
"As if wither of you were paying enough attention to do it wither, its not my fault Voxxy. Tell him Vel-Vel!"
"You boomers are exhausting but if you can can it for a sec, ive got some sinstagram posts showing he was headed to the hotel your old boytoy is running. Nothing new past that, probs cause'a the scrambling thing the fuxker does."
"Why Podcast and accomplices, to what do we owe this dospleasure?"Alastor drawls, all false cheer and dripping poisoned hospitality. As if he wasnt holding a gigantic shark dog thing in jos arms like it was nothing, and pointedly flicking his ears out of reach of an enthusiastic slobbery tongue.
"VARK!" The television headed overlord shouts in a mixture of joy, relief, frustration and that strange rage all parents and pet owners feel when finding a lostling safe and mostly sound. "Where have you BEEN?! Do you know how worried daddy was?"
The employees all made it very clear they had heard nothing of such a soppy statement by looking studiously at differnt floor tiles, ceiling fixtures and the wallpaper.
Through the split screen, Vel and Val were also smooshing themselves close to the screen and using their own endearments and admonishments at the shuppy. Amusing, ut grating on the ears.
Lucifer, having met and wildly exceeded his quota for social engagement for yhe day aand off the wall.shenanigans, finds his eye twitching. "Can someone explain qhat is happening here and why its happening in my daughters hotel of all places?!"
He gets a dirty look from the radio prick, but who cares.
Before vox can say anything, muting the other two, alastor speaks.
"I believe it is clear, your majesty, thatdear Vark was not having his needs met and so came to find someone who could provide that care. And is not the hotel all about second chances?" Levels the overlord, allowing Niffty to sit on his shoulder to pet the shuppy while giggling maniacally.
"HEY!" Came the trifold scandelised reply from the Vees.
"Or maybe someone left the door open at our tower and Vark came to find one of the few people in hell who spoils him rotten..." Vox trues yo snark back and trails off as if he wasnt sure where that was going. Then a maniacal glee lights up that calculating grin, as the overlord adds, "or perhaps Vark just missed his other daddy and wanted to come visit?"
That caused an uproar.
"You two was together?!"
"That is neither here nor there, my envenomed associaate, do close your mouth before a fly... ah, actually,you might enjoy that." The deflection falls flatin the face of the whole situation.
"Hah!" Comes the unexpected contribution from the King, "so all your snarky little comments about bad parenting, and here we find you abandoned your own kid!"
"Vark is only a shark dog demon, not a child." He drawls back. Pointedly ignoring the huge sad eyes vark was using at him, but skritching carefully by the shuppys gills all the same, enjoying the delighted rumble.it elicited.
Vox and the vees gasped like hed torn their hearts out and ate them in front of their eyes. A twisted mess of indignant statements about how vark was not JUST a dog, he was amazing and perfect and alastor was a bad father to say such things when they might impact the shuppys emotional development...
"Okay, this is very weird and as nice as it is to have three overlords viaiting our lovely hotel, this is getting a little weird." Charlie says diplomatically, exhausted from tbe wgole thing and also.staying up two days in a row to qork on plans for activities and counselling programs.for residents. Which was what a combination of Vagie, alastor and lucifer had been addressing prior to the Vark incident.
That seemed to snap everyone back into reality, and Vox cleared his throat, brushing off his suit and ordering semi sticky 3mployees outside. Nifty already cleaning up their soppy footprints with an almost hysterical glee.
"Apologies Princess, i am afraid you caught my team at an inopportune time..." he bluffed, straightening his coat. "Nevermind. If you could just get your hotelier to relinquish our, and by that i mean the vees, shuppy Vark thatd be great "
"...no."
"What do you mean NO?! Thats our, again the vees, shuppy!"
"In all technicality he is also mine, but really Vox... hes quite thin, are you not giving him enough livers? His skin isnt very shiny..."
"We cant all just go get sinner meat for him all the time, Al..." Vox sighs, then remembers where he is. " hah, i mean, you ancient airwave loving fucker. Hes fine, but we'll take that suggestion under advisement..."
Velvette was visibly scrolling through some sort of online store and adding gorey content (of which livers featured prominently) to the cart. Val was looking throuh a site that seemed an odd mix of sexual items as well as animal toys. No one thought too hard about the implications of that...
Sighing and acting casually bored with the whole affair to the outside observer, Alastor demured slightly by putting Vark down. "I suppose that I shall allow him to return with you for now, with a few items to tide Vark over..." Niffty blurred as she went to grab sinner bones and organs from the fridge in his room. "...but i will be watching. You may leave him here once a month for a few days so i can ascertain he is well, you know he enjoys swimming in the bayou and eating the alligators."
Theres a short.pause, before Vox buffers through the conversation to the underlying meaning. "Uh, yeah... I'll have someone draft something up. Yknow you can always come see him at the tower..."
"Not necessary at this time,Podcast. Do you agree to my terms?"
Theres a moment where the three overlords have a technological discussion, before Vox replied, "Deal." and took the outstretched hand. A blast of green and blue energy, with faint traces of intermingled pink and purple, raced outwards.
"Very well then. Niffty darling, would you be so good as to assist the picture box in returning to his vehicle and ensuring he remembers the bag of treats for Vark?"
"Okay sir!" She salutes excitedly, skittering off and dragging at Voxs pant leg.
"Now Vark, you do need to go with..." there was a deep pause as if the next word was painful, as it came out in somewhat revolted static. "...Daddy... but i will.see you again shortly. And, i believe i promosed you a femur, didnt i?"
His shadow manifested the gristly item and provided it to Vark, who lost his little.mind in excitement. Growl yapping and thindering about before coming back for a final pet, then galloping outside chewing happily.
"Okay, I'll bite... what the fuck just happened?" Angel asked. "I feel like i just watched a hell version of two divorcees making a custody arrangement for their kid "
"Probably cause ya did..." Husk muttered, and the spider spat out his cosmopolitan.
"What?!"
Charlie is trying to offer comfort to Alastor but isnt sure what to even say because the last few minutes had been pretty strange even by the hotels standards.
"So... that happened. Are you okay? Seeing an ex is always kinda weird... and with your sorta kid too? Should we uh, maybe call Rosie?"
That sbapped him out of things and the enigmatic radio host was back. "Nonsense my dwar, wverything is fine. And dear Risie has heard all she cares to stand about that capatalistic shill over the past few decades i would hazard. But perhaps i can arrange her to visit when vark is next here, she does adore the little thing. Always has a fresh heart or two to slide him under the table..."
"Hey, dont ignore me, Smiles! Are you tellin me you was like hell married to fuckin VOX?! Is that why he has the bodypillow ofy- uhforget i said that."
"Why, that is not quite an accurate statement, my pastel pal... i never inferred it was only to Vox now, did i? And-..." a pause as the previous query registers, and his overlord form bleeds through in dial eyes and antlers. " he has a WHAT?!"
His.incredulity and discomfort at the idea is undercut by the howling laughter.of the king of hell, who is near crying from mirth.
Angel is grinning up at him. "You heard me, Smiles. Ots on his bed, and he sometimes shares it with the other vees on occasion if ya know what i mean... i thought it was hate stuff, but now i know its sad ex drama its kinda funny. Does explain that one real.weird video Val got e to do with it a few years back that never aired..."
The overlord form snapped away in am instant. " ...I'd ask for elaboration, dear gellow, but i fear that it may lead to a rampage. Lst us agree to put it from our minds and never spwak of it again, deal?"
"Deal."
A very small flare of green and pink berween the clasped.hands, and both parties immediately move back to what they were doing before everything went down.
"Now, i believe a certain princess needs to go and take a well.earned nap.before she collapses.from exhaustion, hmm?"
Lucifer immediately joins in with Vaggie in attempting to coerce their beloved Charlie to nap before she falls.over. However he does shoot the smug fake smiling radio parental usurper a very pointed glare that said he hadnt forgotten the little drama that just occurred... and felt a thrill of satisfaction as the other's grin dimmed slightly.
At the bar, Husk slips another drink to Angel and a glass of cordial to Niffty (she was a menace when drunk and had access to weapons).
"Hey didja know about all... that?"
A noncommittal hum.
"Do ya think... do ya think Smiles'd let me be like a distant uncle.to that shuppy? He was fuckin adorable and i just wanted to squish his murderous little face. Always wanted to pet him the few times i saw him at work, but... i was usually busy."
Husk cant help the laugh that rumbles.out. "Legs, whether the guy likes to admit it or not he loves that sharkdog like he does Niffty, you're gonna have Vark shoved in your face so often you'll be sick of him after a bit. Heck, qhen that lot broke up i think he was honestly more ypset about losing Vark..."
Angel felt Fat Nugget wriggle about in his arms and scritxhed the demon pigs ears, eliciting a delighted.grumbling squeal.
"Heh, i get it. Things're gonna be interesting around here then, hmm, sourpuss?"
"When are they ever not, Legs?"
#hazbin hotel#alastor#vox#angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#niffty#hazbin hotel vark#headcanon and inference of a whole new shop dynamic for the hell of it
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Another night another inside job brainrot
Inside job characters and pets they'd get with reader!
(Hcs for Brett, Reagan, Andre, and Gigi)
Brett:
- This feels pretty predictable but you guys would get a dog.
- Honestly at this point it just feels like there's two dogs in the house bc they have the same exact energy levels
- you have no complaints though! You love your bf and you love your dog so you're more than willing to deal with the energy levels
- you guys can take the dog on walks together which has led to a lot of nice moments of just. Peacefulness together.
- Alternatively: I think he'd love any bird in the parrot family? Maybe a cockatiel bc of the hair LOL
- Brett's urge to laugh at you teaching the bird cuss words vs telling you to not teach the bird to greet everyone with "What the fuck?!"
- you want to name your pet smth actually normal bur he talks you into naming it after some stupid animal pun based off a movie character
- idk honestly I think he'd really like to take care of any kind of pet that likes lots of engagement with you♡ leafs to lots of stuff together!
Reagan:
- Also pretty self explanatory, but a cat
- it takes awhile to convince her. She already shoulders a lot of work, plus the last pets she had were the turtles from her childhood which didn't. Go Well.
- but eventually you're able to convince her by the power of Being Annoying On Purpose
- she's basically the "I don't want a cat" vs walking into the room to see her baby talking the cat kinda energy
- it's not that she doesn't like cats at all, just the energy required to own one is what put her off initially, but now that the furball is in the home she is so in love with the small creature
- she just honestly likes the semi-independence of it. She likes that she can get any leftover work done at home whole the cat will entertain itself.
- plus have u ever had a cat sleep on your chest after a stressful day? God's work 🙏
- meanwhile you are the opposite. You will hug that cat all day. ITS NOT YOUR FUALT ITS SO FLUFFY AND CUTE
- cue lots of distant "MeooOW??" in another room that Reagan hears everytime you pick it up
- "Stop picking the fucking cat up like a baby!" "Tell it to stop being baby shaped then, idiot."
- You guys spend hours thinking of a good name and then just decide on something really stupid like "fishstick"
Andre:
- Honestly? Seems like a reptile kinda guy?? You'd guys probably get anything from something as small as a leopard gecko to a fucking python snake
- ok but. Snake.
- u both decide to name it smth dumb as hell like "Noodle"
- Andre is actually? Surprisingly very well educated in snake care.
- Like, he actually has made sure that everything from cage size to temperature to food is right. He's really been interested in them for a long time.
- meanwhile u just like the fact that the front of a snake face looks like ":]"
- people can just walk by you two working on something in your lab and there's just. A huge fucking snake slithering over your guys' arms and back.
Gigi:
- FERRET.
- I can't explain this one. It's a fucking ferret. Is fluffy. Is noodle. Are you jokester?
- you let Gigi take full liberty of naming it because you trust her to come up with something fitting
- you will both drop whatever your doing to just watch your ferret in silence as the run up and down one of those little play tube tunnels.
- the ferret definitely picks favorites and it's Gigi. Everytime you walk into a room, it's wrapped over Gigi's shoulders
- getting it the most obnoxious colored harness and walking it.
- people give you guys strange looks, but you don't mind. You're just happy to have your gf and your demon child of a ferret♡
#inside job x reader#brett hand x reader#reagan ridley x reader#gigi thompson x reader#andre lee x reader#headcanons
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Swordswoman Showdown Quarterfinals
Alison Wanda Ruth (Kill Six Billion Demons) vs Camilla Hect (The Locked Tomb)
(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")
Camilla art by @friendamedes, used with permission
Propaganda below cut
Allison Wanda Ruth
She first wields a zweihander but eventually learns to wield the terrible blade of Want; She’s a philosophy major. She’s a barista. She’s from L.A. She’s even a lesbian. Reach Heaven Through Violence
#she's engaging in active dommery at all times#including this very image#there's no way you can't vote allison#anyway#KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS#THE HEIR#WIELDER OF NAMES#SEEKER OF THRONES#KING OF SWORDS!#BREAKER OF INFINITIES#WHEEL-SMASHING LORD#please understand that though Allison is Magnificient#i'm voting her more as a proxy for her teacher; Mathangi ten Meti#auntie maya is maybe my favorite fictional character of all time#and definitely the greatest swordswoman in fiction. to me#but Allison is canonically better at the sword philosophy than she is (lets not talk about the sword-skill)#so like this works#manifesting an Allison sweep
#side character vs main character the levels of depth aren’t even comparable#Allison sweep girlie you have so many themes and motifs#and are generally a more well rounded and better written woman and character than shura#anyways vote for girl smile
#yeahhh fuck up her al#another thing: she is a demi-god. technically#another propoganda: she is cool as fuck#and has a good character growth#reach heaven through violence#allison sweep
Cam
trained w a rapier & knives. practical. handsome. extremely efficient and capable.; she’s my boyfriend and I love her. Please vote for cam she is my life
Gideon Nav uses one very large sword in defiance of the expectation that a cavalier should use a rapier, but Camilla Hect instead uses two. Just as much defiance of social expectation, twice as many blades. The reveal of her specific brand of swordiness is the heart of one of the book's most iconic lines: "Cam? Go loud."; In the spirit of the laconic charm of the Warden's Hand I will simply say "Camilla's competent."
She prefers two short swords but has been know to wield a rapier and other such bladder instruments; She also loves to organize spreadsheets
Go loud.
#pretty much all of the cam propaganda that was made by people who could read was still tied to the vs gideon match#allison wanda ruth#kill six billion demons#camilla hect#the locked tomb#official#poll#swordswoman showdown#round 4#quarterfinals
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