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#emotional support beloved book...on the other hand gET OUT OF MY HEAD WHAT A BAD TIMING-
rox-of-iu · 1 year
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how is a man supposed to odmaturovat when my head is soooo empty but also soso so so full o(-(
#not art#crys#přituhuje přituhuje#anyway předmaturitní období is going completely /fine/ for anyone asking#pap has been sending me bronze age memes ive been scrolling through pictures of birds for two hours and who knows what aras be doing#cryptid at this point#dsjhc but anyway history+art 🤝bio+chem🤝math+phys - not having a single clue what we doing hsjkdhsa#solidarity#also i managed to last minute hyperfixate on a most beloved book series from my childhood hdkashdahkj#which i have been doodling amongst my equations lmao so once im done with all this ill be posting some things for that#since AF be holding my hand throughout these tough times ✊but like on one hand#emotional support beloved book...on the other hand gET OUT OF MY HEAD WHAT A BAD TIMING-#hahjahjkhs not to worry i will also come back to what i usually post once all this is done#only -checks watch- 7days UH OG HAHA ANYWAY and uhhhh then a month to speedrun studies for UNI entrance exams#but after that!!!!! ART TIMEE YIPEEE finally ill work on my liu//shen and N/HS animatic that ive been looking forward to for like a year no#lol#also speaking of liu'd shens#im that meme of squidward next to his window and spongebob and patrick is everyone talking about new cultivate chapters jhdkshdks#soon.....i will be able to catch up soon.......HAJHKS#anyway thats about it#im soooooooooooo tired my bones feel like theyll fall off and my brain is meltingg o(TヘTo)#but eh- gtg back to organic chemistry now bye byee everyone have a good day kissb xD
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leakyweep · 6 months
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Doflamingo x gn!Reader - Patience
@kyuuin9in ; Morning, hope you’re doing better! It’s 💜 anon, decided to come off anon for the request. :D I’ve had this on my mind for a while; how would Doffy feel if he met someone who actually read him like an open book to the point where his s/o actively (but not verbally) tries to teach him healthier habits, such as handing him a glass of water instead of letting him reach for the bottle of wine after a nightmare, proving him with emotional support without outright asking him about it and not expecting him to tell her about it. But also being basically attached to the hip to him and just doing things for him without him asking her to. He’s thinking about getting some salt? Well, would you look at that his s/o already passed it to him. (I also think his s/o wouldn’t like Trebol too much cause he’s an active enabler of Doffy’s bad habits 💀💀)
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A/N ; Thank you for this lovely request! Writing Doffy being soft is so fun and challenging, so I hope you enjoy <3
Words ; 0.8k
Warnings ; None, just pure fluff. Although this fic is sfw, my blog is not. Minors, you are not welcome on my blog. Thank you.
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Being with Doflamingo was a full time job. It didn’t matter that you lived under his income, under the roof of his stone palace, in his pink satin sheets. You helped out the servants in your free time, making up for the harsh side Doffy always showed the helpful staff. You stood in the kitchen, cutting vegetables, preparing lettuce, learning how long to cook meat to the exact temperature the master enjoyed. You found the servants to be quite pleasant; and while your husband was off in some meeting, you got to know his underlings, smiling and listening to their interesting stories and anecdotes. 
At the end of the day, when changing into your silk pajamas in front of your beloved, he asked you why in the hell you spent your days folding laundry with his servants, thanking them at the dinner table, tucking them in and telling them about the days you spent on the sea when you would join him on his expeditions – and your answer was simple. 
“They’re people too.” 
This made him… think. In his office, in bed, with the other members of the royal family. Of course, your least favorite cohort, Trebol, had many negative things to say about your kindness. He found it pathetic, trying his best to convince Doffy you were his weakest link, that your emotions were too strong. Of course, this made your love see red, grabbing his closest commander by the collar to tell him never to speak about you that way. Although your heart swelled, it discouraged you from being around Trebol for long bouts of time.
One particular night, you had joined him in bed later than usual, too caught up in your screaming thoughts as loud as a freight train in your ears. Sitting in the plush armchair Doffy had gifted you for a birthday in the past, you watched the moon slowly ascend into its place in the dark sky, trying your best to focus on all the good things in your life, the most prominent being the large, snoring figure just feet behind you, sleeping wistfully beneath his heavy comforter. This was short lived, though, when he was snapped awake by a harsh nightmare, his breaths ragged and uneven. 
You turned from your seat to ask him what was wrong, but before you could, his large hand reached for the bottle of red wine on his bedside table. You frowned at him and when his golden eyes met yours, you shook your head. 
“Darling, let me put that away for you. I’ll grab you some water.” Your footsteps were soft against the carpet as you took the bottle before he could argue. You disappeared to the kitchen to grab a glass of cold water for him as he pouted like a little boy who got his toy taken away. His expression upon rearrival made you chuckle gently while handing him the glass. With a roll of his eyes a mumble of gratitude, he took the glass and sipped. He fell back asleep in your arms that night, your manicured nails gliding through his blonde locks to calm him back to his dreamland.
Over time, you began to learn small habits to change for his well being – wine was forever replaced with water on his bedside table, you found yourself passing him things before he could ask at the dinner table, learning his triggers to help him calm himself when he was tested, being his kind ambassador when going to the town to enjoy the nightlife. You wouldn’t change it for the world, you thought. You loved this man – and you realized that while he was ruthless, powerful, and malicious, he also had feelings, and he just needed a little help dealing with them in a self-sustaining way.
Doffy’s heart had grown a few sizes since meeting you, or so he was convinced. The way you were kind to every living creature, how you spoke to children and laughed at their terrible jokes in the streets of Dressrosa, your calming tone as he felt those tendrils of anger threaten to choke him and devour him whole and completely dissipate at the sound of your voice – it all drew him closer to you, wanting to smother himself in the absolutely pure and selfless aura that radiated from your smooth skin. Hearing your laugh after a long day of work and dealing with absolute imbeciles was like medicine. Making love to you was like nothing he had felt before. All these things combined into one, and Doffy was marrying you within the next year. 
You were thankful for him, just as he was for you. And you knew as you grew old together, he would change, and he would grow, and that he just needed time. 
You were willing to be patient with him until the end of time.
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pillow-anime-talk · 3 years
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dating them.
synopsis: Some sweet, funny and also crazy moments in your relationship.
# tags: headcanons; current relationships; romance; mild comedy; fluff; PDA; sfw
includes: gender neutral reader ft. reki kyan, langa hasegawa, miya chinen, kaoru sakurayashiki & kojirou nanjou {sk8}
author’s note: so... i’m just in love with this anime...
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— REKI
↘ He’s such a precious boy who cheers you up in the blink of an eye; I think he has an extra sense, so he knows when you feel worse than usual or when you are in even the slightest pain (for example, you bumped your elbow or you haven’t eaten breakfast before ‘cause you missed your alarm clock and therefore you have a stomachache).
↘ Reki is a supportive lover; whether you are passionate about singing, learning languages, reading manga, sewing mascots or painting, a seventeen-year-old will always be right next to you to praise what you do or the way you look. He will notice every, even stupid detail about you and mention it immediately when you’re going to hang out. He’s definitely your fan and doesn’t hide it. Additionally, if you introduce him to what you love, he will also get interested in it in a way and then he will come to you to show off what he has done like a sketch of the two of you or an opinion about the anime you recommended him three days ago.
↘ The boy is really devoted to you and loves physical contact; grabbing a hand, kissing on the cheek or forehead, cute texts in the morning it’s something totally normal for the two of you. I also think that Reki could melt if you run your fingers through his soft hair or make small braids for him, decorating his head with a few colored hairpins or hairbands.
↘ If you know how to skateboarding, he will be delighted and your dates will mostly be about riding together or learning new tricks. Plus, it’s another thing Reki loves about you and wow. He’s even bigger fanboy than before!
↘ However, if you have never ridden or even tried to do it, it doesn’t matter. A teen will be happy to be able to offer you some private lessons if you wish. Again, red-haired adores physical contact, so holding your hands/waist while you stand on his beloved skateboard will be a dream come true for him.
↘ He always has ticket for you, so you make a new banner for each race to support him. Hit me, but I’m 120% sure that after race (whether he won or lost it) he takes your pretty banners and hides them in this special box that has its place on his bedroom closet.
↘ Overall, Reki is a boy who fits to the definition of high school, first love.
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— LANGA
↘ Your relationship is a bit more peaceful, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bit of humor or abstraction.
↘ Langa loves your company so, so, so badly; Reki is quite hot-tempered and is literally everywhere, so when the two of you hang out together after school or at the weekend, blue-haired feels that he can breathe and relax every muscle in his body. You’re his comfort person, and your room is a safe place without fear and noise.
↘ He also enjoys physical contact, but much more prefers to show affection in private, for example in your home or in his own bedroom.
↘ His favorite type of PDA is cuddling; he prefers to be a big spoon and hug you from behind, but he has no problem hugging against your chest or warm stomach, especially when he feels down because of school or racing.
↘ I have a strange feeling that Langa is the type of romantic who would make an amazing Spotify playlist for the two of you so you could listen to the songs, cuddling each other in the bed.
↘ If you can skateboard that’s great! For sure you, Langa and Reki will be a good trio that will meet often in the skate park or in ‘S’. I’m also pretty sure he’ll cheer for you, but at the same time he’ll be very cute with it and definitely more calm than his bestie. For example, if you do a trick... you’ll get a quick kiss on the nose or Langa will buy you your favorite drink. He definitely likes to pamper you.
↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard but you really want to start skateboarding to share your lover’s passion... Well, he will definitely give you a short (long) monologue about how dangerous it is, and you need to be careful – because he knows best of all how a fall on butt or face hurts.
↘ He always keeps a tiny set of colored plasters in his jacket or pants pocket to take care of you in the case of an unexpected accident, as Reki used to care for him.
↘ He’s a good teacher, but he will definitely need to calm his emotions, because sometimes instead of showing you how to slide down the railing, he will suggest something more down-to-earth, like going to the cinema to watch the movie you mentioned three days ago.
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— MIYA
↘ Ahh, my precious smol baby.
↘ You are Miya’s first partner, so he still thinks that he’s not good enough for you, although you always reassure him with a light peck on the nose that he’s the best thing that has happened to you and that you’re very glad that you can be with him in every good and bad moment.
↘ The teenager is terribly shy about any physical contact outside, so if you aren’t at home, don’t expect a ton of hugs or kisses from him. He much prefers when you two are alone – then he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by the gazes of other people, especially other skaters who like to make fun of him. 
↘ I swear I’ll bite and beat them all...
↘ Miya is a delicate soul and he really likes to feel that someone look after him, so in a relationship he definitely prefers when you cares for him. For example; just touch his soft hair, ask about his well-being or when he will have a race and a huge smile will appear on his face.
↘ I think if he feels that you are the only one for him... Maybe he will lend you his favorite hoodie with cat ears and tail? He’ll be overjoyed to see that you feel good in it. You look extremely cute, but he’ll never admit it. 
↘ It smells like him, like wet earth and a hint of sweet perfume, and although it’s a strange combination, it feels really beautiful, downright safe and homey.
↘ For the next holiday (your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas), he will give you a sweatshirt that matches to his own. It will be in your favorite color and will also have an animal accessory, not necessarily catish, because if you prefer dogs, rabbits or cows... You know, there are many options.
↘ If you know how to skateboard, he will be really calm and will feel that finally someone will want to spend time with him, training and riding together; not like in childhood when everyone turned away from him. He will definitely be moved when you grab his smooth hand and offer a long ride in the park. He definitely loves praise, so give him praise every now and then when he does a nice trick. He will also compliment you more than once and even give you a kiss on the cheek (of course if nobody is watching!). He’s not good at words, but he tries!
↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard... He may be a bit skeptical, but naturally he’ll agree to a few lessons in front of your or his house. Of course you originally just wanted to be close to him and hold his hand more often than usual, but it turned out to be pretty fun! Now, training is your typical dates.
↘ Miya is a sweet boy and although he may not look like that, he’s really protective, often jealous and always puts you at first place.
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— KAORU
↘ This beautiful man, this angel-looking ideal, this ahhhh... Being in a relationship with him is pure pleasure and daily healing for the soul.
↘ He’s a calm, understanding and loving partner. I think he’s a bit old fashioned but that only adds much more charm to his person.
↘ He often calls you his ‘dearest’, ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, isn’t that cute?
↘ You two don’t go out on dates too often, but I think Kaoru loves to spend time at home, having tea or on the couch while one of you is reading a book and the other is listening to music or just sleeping. He definitely doesn’t look like that, but he loves PDA/cuddling and is the best at it!
↘ He also likes it when you suggest learning calligraphy together. He never forced you to do this, but when he first heard that you would like to meet one of his passions, he was really happy and immediately showed you how to write with ink on the special paper he had in his flat. Obviously, more than once you ask him to write a simple letter or word, because you just love his handwriting and how focused he seems. He’s really hot then, I swear to god!
↘ You love his long hair and are always eager to give him a new, nice hairstyle; normal braid or fishtail braid. Maybe a bun or a ponytail with a few hairpins? He loves everything you do on him. In addition, the gentle head massage you give him each time is the most soothing thing in the world for him.
↘ If you know how to skating... He’s really surprised, but that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy or angry. He wants to see what you can do right away and you will surely feel a sweet kiss on your forehead more than once when the trick will be good or even better than you both thought. He’s a supportive boy, but doesn’t show it as vehemently as Reki, for example; he prefers to smile at you or clap softly.
↘ If you don’t know how to skate yet, but you asked him to teach you how to even stand on it... I imagine Kaoru going pale and trying to distract you from this idea because, as an experienced skater, he’s afraid that you will hurt yourself like any beginner. But your big eyes and ruddy cheeks are his weaknesses, so he’ll trust both you and Carla and help you keep your balance on his beloved, black-violet board. Reward him later with quick kisses or give him his favorites, okay?
↘ To sum up, Kaoru is a good and honest lover. He definitely loves your company and won’t mind spending his free time seriously and frivolously with you.
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— KOJIROU
↘ This guy is the definition of the sentence ‘Through the stomach to the heart’. Any objections? No. So let’s gooooo!
↘ Kojirou is a PERFECT second half. Both in character and appearance. If he fall in love with someone seriously, and it will be you, then know that he’ll care for you like about a member of the royal family; breakfasts in bed, an Italian supper, the perfect choice of wine for a chicken or steak are things that have become a sweet daily thing for you at some point.
↘ He loves to show you affection and absolutely has no problem doing it in public, even when he’s working or when you two are in a tight crowd on the train or in the ‘S’ before his race. He will kiss you hard on the lips, grab your skin on your butt or hug your waist. It’s just that everyone needs to know that you belong to him. He’s just as clingy as Reki, and sometimes even worse and bolder.
↘ Of course he has cute side; he likes to lie on the bed or the sofa with you on his chest. He loves being between your thighs and sleep there. He definitely has a weak point in that when you you run your finger on his tattoo or cook dinner with him, throwing ingredients at him and laughing out loud.
↘ Another romantic who uses thousands of pet names (like babey, cutie, doll, pumpkin, kitten). Plus, he loves to dance with you in the kitchen and steal a few kisses here and there. Also, if you aren’t looking, he likes to surprise you with a big, bear hug.
↘ I think he’s a bit impatient, so he doesn’t like to sit at home and prefers dates in crazy places (such as an amusement park, swimming pool, karaoke bar) – it’s his favorite way of spending your time together. As a gentleman, he always pays for you, unless you go faster and bring your ATM card to the card reader as first. But don’t be surprised when Kojirou will just buy you cotton candy or popcorn shortly afterwards.
↘ If you know how to skateboard, he’s as excited as a kid and will definitely offer you a date at the skate park. Naturally, he wants to show off to others what a super cool partner he has, but he also wants others to know that you’re here together to kick everyone’s asses with your abilities. You’re definitely a powerful couple and you have the matching necklaces!
↘ But if you don’t know how to skating then... well, well, well. Just be prepared that one day (without even asking for it) you’ll stand on his beloved board and he will grab your hips, smiling silly. He enjoy skin ship so this guy feels utopian when he can be near you. He definitely won’t spare you compliments, long pecks, and smack your butt when you do something great, so you have to get used to it... and it’s going to be a long training session, so good luck, my friend.
↘ He’s a funny guy, but he’ll never cross your limits, so don’t worry about that. However, he will always find a topic for conversation or a joke to relax the atmosphere or cheer you up. You will never be bored with him.
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justfangirlthingies · 3 years
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Intruders (Helmut Zemo)
This is my first ever finished fic for our beloved Zemo, who definitely deserves to have his sword in the mcu.
I've had this scenario in my head for a while now and usually I find it hard to properly write out my thoughts to text. I honestly have no idea what's gotten into me that allowed me to write my thoughts into a fic, but whatever it is, it can come and bless me with its presence more often
Summary: You were planning on having a relaxing evening when a group of "intruders" turned your plans around
Warnings: I think there's one or more curse words, a sword (but nothing dangerous happens with it) if you think there's anything that I missed and/or should be added as a warning here please let me know
Word count: 2137 words
Transaltion: If you are familiar with Zemo fics you probably know what "draga" means. In case you don't know draga = dear/beloved
You were relaxing in the bathtub, eyes closed, as the warm water embraced you. You dipped the back of your head into the water in order to get all your hair wet properly, a soft sigh escaping your lips. It was peaceful and quiet, until you heard something that sounded suspiciously like the front door opening and closing that is. Immediately, you sat up in the water, which started to slosh from the sudden movement, and pulled your knees closer to your body as you listened attentively. Maybe you just imagined the noise. You were probably just being paranoid. Living alone in a house as big as this just seemed to have taken it's toll on you. What you had not expected however, was to hear more noises. Oh you definitely weren't imagining this. Loud footsteps accompanied by voices could be heard throughout your home.
In distress, you quietly jumped out of the bathtub, your body and hair still dripping with water as you stepped foot on the towel on the floor. Well you certainly wouldn't be able to defend yourself wearing only a towel. You stayed alert while you let your gaze wander through the room swiftly, in order to find something to wear and also something to defend yourself. That's when you spotted it. His bathrobe.
You never bothered to take it off of it's hanger. Doing so, would have made the situation you lived in come crashing down on you and you couldn't have that, now could you? Besides, it still contained traces of his intriguing smell, you'd never find the willpower to discard something that carries his smell still.
Without giving it much thought, you grabbed the robe and put it on, quickly tying it up as you continued to scavenge the room for some kind of weapon or defense. After coming to the conclusion that there was nothing of use for you in this room you sighed silently. Panic settled in your system as you felt your heartbeat and breathing speed up. You tried desperately to calm yourself, your hand wandering to a little ceramic bowl that usually held soap in it. This would have to do.
Only when you reached out for the handle of the bathroom door, you remembered. The sword! There was a sword just conveniently hanging on one of the walls in the hallway. He had shown you how to use it. You probably forgot half of what he had taught you back then, but it would have to do to save your life. That's why he taught you in the first place, to defend yourself.
The bowl made no sound when you put it down, seeing as you placed it on a piece of fabric, in order to avoid making noise. Carefully, you opened the door and tiptoed your way out into the hallway. As soon as you had stepped foot onto the ground of the corridor, the voices grew clearer, but you needed to focus on your current goal, which was to go and get the sword hanging on the wall and not to listen to the intruders. So, that's exactly what you did.
Getting the sword off the wall turned out to be more challenging than you anticipated, as it was quite heavy. A lot heavier than what you remembered it to be. After struggling with it for a good minute or two ,you finally managed to lift it off the wall and the weight of the full sword, without it being supported on the wall anymore, nearly caused you to drop it, seeing as you only held it with one hand. The odds seemed to be in your favour, for you caught the weapon mid-air and while it still made contact with the ground, the carpet covering the floor managed to absorb the sound of the sword clinking against the floor.
You took a deep breath and pushed the big and wide sleeves of the robe up a bit, to keep them from disturbing you. The voices you had been hearing didn't seem to stray far from the living room and kitchen area. Putting on a straight and brave face, you exhaled deeply and lifted the sword like you had been taught, you also tried to keep the stance you were supposed to have as you made your way down the hall.
You came to a halt right around the corner to the kitchen and living room area, where you attempted to calm your breathing and heartbeat once again. "Now what?" you thought. Should you walk into the room and confront them? Or should you pull the attention to yourself from here right away?
You decided on the first option, this way you could still take a few minutes to calm yourself down and- CRASH!
"Oh no. Oh no this is bad. Shit! What do I do now?" You cursed under your breath as you looked at the object you had accidentally run over. Someone had placed a bag, which you accidentally shoved with your foot because you didn't know it was there, right next to a lamp. It is save to say, that said lamp now laid before your feet in shards and the placement of the bag also wasn't your doing. In fact, the bag didn't even belong to you.
"I thought you said this is your place and no one lives here" a man's voice growled. "Show yourself!" shouted another voice in your direction. You contemplated running away and hiding for a moment, but there was no backing out now. So, you gathered all your might and confidence together and tried to keep your voice steady you spoke "Who are you and what are you doing in my home? I will ask you to leave only this once" Your demand came out more shaky than you would have liked, but it would have to do "And-and I'm armed" You added, realizing you had forgotten to mention it previously.
What you were not aware of was that he stat around the corner with the two men and when your voice reached the Baron's ears, his eyes widened, though he promptly covered up his surprised expression from the others. "You knew about this didn't you?!" Sam jumped up from his seat "This was your plan all along!" "I assure you Samuel, I was not aware anyone was here" Zemo retorted quickly. "What a load of crap!" Samuel shouted back.
You however, didn't get a chance to take notice of the conversation the two were having because you noticed someone else approaching you. You quickly took your stance to fight for your life, the sleeves of the oversized bathrobe rolling back down your arms and covering your hands, which were placed on the sword's handle, as you did so. As soon as you caught size of the man approaching you, you noticed a feature he had. An arm made of metal. This was going to be harder than you thought. You swung your sword at the man who caught the blade mid-swing, with ease in his metal hand. "I'm very sorry for intruding. We were not aware that someone lives here." "Well, I obviously live here" you grumbled.
You kept struggling against him even after he had grabbed your arm and rendered your attacks useless. Even when he had started walking you back around the corner, you still keep the sword tight in your grip, ready to put up a fight again as soon as danger was near.
What you didn't expect though, was to see him. Baron Helmut Zemo. You dropped the sword as soon as you saw him, it landed on the tiled floor making a loud reverberating noise, that immediately caught his attention. "Helmut" you mumbled, not believing your own eyes as they began to water.
As soon as the sword fell, all of Zemo's attention was on you. The way you stood in a poise and secure stance, much like the one he showed you. The sword which he remembered to be decorating the hallway lying before your feet. Your (h/c) hair still wet from what he presumed must have been a bath. He didn't fail to notice his robe, which even though it was tied tightly and securely around your waist, still seemed to hang loosely around your body. Your hands were covered by the sleeves of his robe, yet he didn't miss the way something briefly reflected the light of the room from underneath one of the sleeves. So, you still wore the ring he had given to you. Hearing your voice sounded like music to his ears. Another thing he noticed, was that it seemed like you didn't age a day. Were you possibly taken by the blip?
Helmut Zemo could read you like a book, the expression on your face however, was the only thing that was hard for him to read right now. There were so many different emotions covering your features, but as soon as he took notice of your beautiful pools of (e/c) swimming with tears, he jumped up from his seat, ready to take you into his arms and just hold you tightly and securely to his body. "(Y/n)" he whispered back to you.
Sam Wilson queered the Baron's pitch, by holding him back from crossing the room to reach you. You took notice of what Zemo was trying to do. It was something you also wanted. Something you needed right now. It seemed you were in luck once again because the man with the metal arm had loosened his hold on your arm and it was easy for you to slip from his grip.
Without giving it another thought, you sprinted across the room and ran right into Helmut's arms, not caring about the man who was holding him back. You held each other tightly, enjoying his warmth and familiarity. Sadly, the bliss you were experiencing was suddenly cut short by the man with the metal arm.
"Let me go!" You struggled against the man's arm again. "James let go of them." Zemo demanded calmly. "Do you even know who that is you're throwing your arms around here?!" The guy asked you, his voice sounded more like a growl, which caused you to thrash around more. "Of course I know who that is!" you snarled back at him in irritation. "I think I can recognize my husband myself, thank you very much. Now let me go!" you sassed. The statement had caught the man named James off guard and he loosened his grip on you again, the other man doing the same with Zemo.
You had gotten married shortly before the Baron blew up the UN. It was the only way for him to come to terms with his past and while you were not happy with the decision he made, you understood why he did what he did. That doesn't mean you agreed with his ways of doing this. God knows you had tried to talk him out of it many times after you found out about his plans. You didn't even know what you were looking at when you saw the plans and even though Zemo knew you were not aware of his plan, even after looking at some of the blueprints, he wanted to be honest with you. So, he told you everything he had planned. There was no stopping him from at least trying and while you used to give yourself the fault for not stopping him, which would have been impossible anyways, you had come to terms with it over the years.
"Draga" your husband exhaled as he wrapped his arms around you again. His embrace was something you had missed for a long time, a smile formed onto your lips as you hugged him back and nestled your face in his neck. "I missed you Helmut." your voice was muffled by his shirt and skin. "I missed you too" Zemo immediately returned your statement, his lips resting on the top of your head as he inhaled your scent, that he loved and missed so much. "You smell nice" he murmured against your head making you giggle.
"You do know you'll have some explaining to do about all of...well, this" you pulled away a bit, looking at him as you gestured to him and the other two people in the room, who just watched this whole situation unfold in complete and utter bewilderment.
"I know, I know, but for now let us enjoy the moment just a little longer" he smiled at you as he pulled you closer again, before leaning forward a bit to whisper in your ear "My bathrobe suits you well dear" You lightly hit his shoulder for that statement and because you could practically hear the very evident smirk adorning his face.
Taglist: @ateez-star @littlemissnoname13 @gwlvr @handmaiden-of-mischief
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
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Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters 
Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one! 
IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!
Lucifer
Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.
Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.
Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.
Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.
Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.
Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...
Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.
Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.
One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.
100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).
Mammon
So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.
Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.
The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.
She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.
On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).
For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏
Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.
Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.
…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.
Leviathan
Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.
That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???
Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.
He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.
Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.
The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.
Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.
With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.
Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭
Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.
Satan
Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.
Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.
Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.
She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.
Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.
100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.
Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.
Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.
Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.
That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.
Asmodeus
Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)
Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.
Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.
He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.
His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.
Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!
Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.
He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!
Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)
Beelzebub 
….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.
Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.
Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)
You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.
That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too. 
Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.
Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.
Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...
Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.
One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫
Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.
Belphegor
Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!
Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.
Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."
Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).
Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.
Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.
The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.
Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.
Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.
Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.
He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.
2K notes · View notes
hello-everyfandom · 4 years
Text
“Sirius loves all the attention,”
Warnings: Mentions of violence, angst
Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader
Words: 1.7k
Summary: James Potter’s sister, Y/N, opens the front door to find Sirius Black covered in blood and bruises.
Part Two “Everything between us is a moment”
(Angst! Send in requests please!!!)
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“Y/N, dear, set the table, will you?” your mother called from the kitchen door, you groaned and stood up from the living room couch. 
“Why does James never have to set the table?” you whined,
“The answer is obvious,” James smirked as you looked at him with annoyance in your eyes, “I’m the favorite,” your brother shrugged innocently. You thumped him on the back of the head with your book earning an “Oi” in response.
“More like a big baby,” you huffed and began to set the table with four plates.
“Dinner is ready, dear!” your mother rang to your father who folded his newspaper and placed a kiss on your mother’s plump cheek.
“Gross,” James complained as he plopped down in the dining room chair. 
“Just because you don’t understand the circumstances and actuality of love and are too dimwitted to treat Lily Evans like a human doesn’t mean you can judge other’s on how they express affection,” you teased,
“Just because you don’t understand the circumstances of blah-di-blah-di blah,” James mimicked you in a high pitched, overdramatized voice.
“Will you stop acting like a child?” you hissed, 
“Will you stop acting like a child?” James mimicked back. You turned to your mother exasperated,
“Mum, can you please tell James to stop making fun of me,”
“Mum, can you please tell James to stop making fun of me, boo-boo blah blah- blah.” 
Your father rubbed his forehead and your mother rolled her eyes and smiled at her children,
“James, I swear to merlin if you don’t stop,”
“James, I swear to merlin if you don’t stop,”
You mimicked his voice back, creasing your eyebrows and pouting your lips, “I’m James Potter, I’m a right prat who can never get a girlfriend because I’m too in love with my own face,”
James leaned towards you and flipped his nonexistent long hair, “I’m Y/N, I love to correct people and take the fun out of everything because I’m a lonely know-it-all and nothing else brings me joy,”
The two of you sneered at each other and turned to your helpless mother again, “Mum!” you begged her to be on your side of the argument,
“Ah yes, Fleamont, ‘let’s have children, better yet, let’s have two,’” your mother sighed and shook her head comically, placing her hand on her husband’s shoulder to hold.
“I never said it would be easy, darling,” he replied.
“Stop it, James, shove off!” You pushed his forearm so you could make room for yourself,
“Stop it, James!” He mimicked again, 
“I mean it, you nitwit, stop it.”
“Stop it!” James heightened his voice. In the distance, beyond your anger and annoyance for James, you heard a thump at the door. No one else seemed to notice it. Your mother had just poured herself a glass of water and your father was asking what was for supper. But, you heard the soft knock at the door.
“Is someone...? Seriously James, stop it.” you shoved him again,
“Seriously, James, stop it,” you attempted to listen for the knock again, concentrating and narrowing your eyes. 
“Mum, are we expecting anyon- James!” you growled and slapped James’ bicep, “shut up!” you focused on the sound,
“Shut up!” James whined, 
“No, seriously James. Shut the hell up!” Your mother was about to scold you when the entire Potter family heard the loud fist-sized thumps at the door. You stood up, sending James a glare for being a bloody idiot and paced towards the door. You flung open the front door expecting to see perhaps a mailman or your neighbor who had lost her kitten once again. You, however, did not expect to see Sirius Black, bloodied and bruised, and nearly unconscious leaning on your front door frame. You gasped loudly and quickly placed yourself under his armpit to support him,
“James!” you called, “Mum, grab the plasters, James, come help me.” James turned quickly at your gasp and sprung up making his chair fall back.
“Sirius!” he yelled, racing towards you and helping you carry Sirius in from the evening rain. The two of you laid your best friend on the living room couch, searching for his wounds, not minding the blood on your hands. Your father retrieved his wand and began to attempt to heal Sirius’ deep wounds resulting in him shutting his eyes and wincing. His eyes were squeezed shut and he bit his lip as his forehead creased in pain. His shirt was ripped and you could make out the scratches and burns on his side.
“What do we do?” you asked James, you could see your elder brother was scared but he squeezed your hand tightly and turned his eyes towards Sirius,
“He’ll be okay,” James’ hoped. Sirius’ eyes flung open and stared at the Potter family. He began stuttering, frightened and out of control,
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. ‘m boy, calm down,” your father tried to reassure him, placing a hand on his shoulder, “lay still, the wounds are still deep,”
“Is he alright?” Your mother hurried in, bandages in one hand and her wand in the other as well as a towel, she put a loving hand on his forehead and rubbed the towel in order to gain some warmth into him. You’ve never seen Sirius so distraught, so vulnerable. His eyes were terrified and he continued to fidget on the couch. Your chest dropped, seeing him like this made you want to throw plates and glass at the wall.
“I’m sorry-” Sirius cried in pain and embarrassment, “I- he, James, James said if it were ever too much, to- to come here, but I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, but I-” Sirius cried out again making you grip James’ arm.
Your father glanced worriedly at your mother and said, “Son, calm down. It’s quite alright, we’re glad you’re here where you’re safe.” he turned to his two children and said, “children, quickly, leave us be with Sirius. Your mother and I must ask him some questions. Run the kettle,” and hurried you two out of the living room and into the kitchen.
“What happened to him?” you asked your brother, attempting to shake the fear from your face and placing the kettle on the stove.
“I-” James began, combing his fingers through his messy hair, “It was his god-awful family, I presume.”
You gasped and shook your head, “they did that to him?” you said, angrily.
“I believe so.”
“And you told him he could come here if it-”
James nodded, “If it ever became too much.”
The two of you peeked out from the kitchen door to see your father sitting next to Sirius, a solemn and serious look on his face. Your mother stood, a tear down her face as Sirius whispered to him what had happened to him at Grimmauld Place. 
“I want to kill them,”
“Me too,” James agreed.
“I’m scared,” you admitted to your older brother, he turned and wrapped his brotherly arms around you. The pair of you instantly forgot your insignificant quarrel from earlier and focused solely on Sirius. 
“Me too. But for Sirius’ sake, we need to be brave,” 
Your father approached the kitchen whilst your mother tended to Sirius on the couch, he looked at the two of his beloved children and said, “Sirius is to stay here for the remainder of the summer. He will not be going back to his home. I will send a letter to his mother at once, but there is no way in hell that boy is going back.” James hugged his father instantly before opening the kitchen door and disappearing to see his best friend. You looked at your father, who removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes,
“What happened, dad?” your voice was quiet, afraid to know the answer.
Fleamont Potter shook his head and placed his glasses back on, he pulled you in for a close hug and kissed the top of your head. He was thankful to have you and James in such healthy conditions. “Let’s not talk about it, child. Everything will be okay. Go on and be with your friend,” you kissed your father on the cheek before sneaking into the living room. Your mother saw you as she was leaving and placed a kind hand on your arm before retreating into the kitchen, most likely to talk to your father.
You watched James pull up a chair next to Sirius, two brothers with a stronger bond known to man. 
“Y’know, mate, if you wanted to see me this bad, you didn’t have to have such the dramatic entrance,” James’ joked making Sirius grin,
“You think I wanted to come here? Blimey, no. The inn across town wouldn’t take me, so I thought I’d come to the Potters.” James laughed and shoved Sirius,
“I’m glad you’re alright,” James said seriously,
“Don’t go all sappy on me, Prongs. Only a couple cuts and bruises,”
“Yes, James, don’t go all sappy on him.” You emerged from the shadows and sat on the edge of the couch Sirius was lying on, “Sirius loves all the attention,” 
“Only from you,” even though Sirius was in immense emotional and physical pain, he still found the energy to make you blush.
“Mate, you’ve only been here for a minute and you’re already acting dodgy towards my sister.” The three of you laughed,
“James, can you help bring the tea in?” your mother asked from the kitchen, James stood with no argument and left for the kitchen. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head on the back of the couch. You couldn’t help but stare, his face, though had a bruise and a split lip, was still as handsome as the day you first saw him. 
“I can feel you staring at me, darling,” Sirius opened one eye to peer at you,
“How could I not, you look like shit,” you shot back. Sirius’ eyes were amused before taking hold of your hand in his,
“I’m alright, y’know,”
“I know.” you placed a smile on your face that quickly faded away, “but unfortunately, you have to room with James and we both know he snores.”
Sirius shrugged, “if I can live with him at Hogwarts, I can live with him here,” Sirius squeezed your hand again before kissing your knuckles, “and I certainly don’t mind living with you,”
“I’ll only say it once this summer,” James warned whilst carrying out a tray of tea and biscuits, “hands off my sister.” 
1K notes · View notes
marvel-ousnesss · 4 years
Text
Hand in Hand
Pairing: Harry Styles x reader
Summary: Y/N and Harry the night of the Brits.
word count: 2806
masterlist 
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A/N: I wrote most of this on my phone so sorry for any typos or mistakes. Lots of love 💜💜💜
“Y/N, Y/N!”
You approached the source of the storm of voices with a wide grin on your face. You still couldn't hide the thrill that your fans brought you, nor you could stop yourself from just hanging with them for a bit. You ambled through the red carpet exchanging smiles and posing for selfies until you reached the end of the path.
When you stepped inside, you greeted a few other people who had arrived at the event and went to freshen up a bit so you could pose for some photos.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and grinned widely. You felt like the girl singing covers in her room, yet here you were, attending your first-ever music awards as a nominee —with one of the best albums of the year under your arm.
As you made your way back from the restroom, you felt a presence behind you. Before you could turn around, they spoke.
"Well hey, fancy seeing you here.” Harry's voice was raspy, tinted with mischief.
You stopped, turned toward him with an amused half-smile.
"Right back at you,” you joked back. “Do you come here often?"
He exhaled a fruity laugh and smiled at you, finally allowing his gaze to drift down onto your figure and then back to up to meet your own. "You look… wow."
He made you blush with almost no effort but you were quick to cover it up, doing your best to get rid of the tension that seemed to constantly glide around the two of you.
"Well, don't you look 'wow' yourself", you smirked.
It had been going on for a few months now; flirting here and there, hanging out at parties, and even a few dates which you had tried to keep out of the spotlight. Nevertheless, headlines hadn't stopped gushing on about 'the newest, freshest face of the industry' and the 'beloved, eclectic Harry Styles.'
Looping your arm around his you subtly prompted him to continue walking toward the awaiting cameras, where you were headed before bumping into him. He obliged, smoothly guiding you through the crowd of crew members, press, and artists.
After a moment of hesitation, his hand traveled to the small of your back. When you felt his tender fingers against the silk of your gown, you lifted your head to look at him.
"So, what’s the game-plan for tonight?”
“Y’know how ‘t goes,” he explained. “Step one: performance, step two: get hold of all the tiny statues, step three: world domination.”
You laughed, but insisted, “really, how’re you doing; ready?”
Even if he seemed to be perfectly collected, you knew that tonight’s show had his head spinning. This was gonna be his first live performance of the year, and, to be honest, you thought it was admirable that he decided to go through with it after what had happened that weekend.
“‘m just a mess of nerves and excitement right now. Tonight needs to be brilliant.”
He didn’t wanna talk about Caroline’s death and you were ok with it, so you didn’t push on the topic.
“I’m sure it’ll be. The whole album’s just amazing; and, you know, the guy who sings it isn’t that bad either.”
He chuckled lightly, then sighed, “just hope I make it justice.”
You smiled, “you will.”
That’s when you found yourselves between the gray wall upholstered with logos and brand names and the army of photographers equipped with cameras of all sizes.
You both faced them and quickly displayed your best angles.
Offering a smirk as he fixed the collar of his blazer, Harry asked, “what ‘bout you, eyes on the prize, I assume?”
You turned around with grace, so that the back of your outfit was visible, then faced the cameras over your shoulder.
“Well, yeah,” you sighed dramatically. “But, to be frank, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep them there with you looking so dashingly handsome.”
His eyes widened for a second and he let out a ringing laugh, his cheeks reddening slightly. It was truly a beautiful sight. However, no longer than a moment later, he concealed the gentle blush with a snort and a devious grin, which he directed at the cameras.
“I know ’m irresistible, love,” he smirked. “And I hate to tell you this, but I‘m ‘a be professional tonight, no funny business.” His tone was dripping with feigned seriousness.
"Your loss," you flipped your hair.
_______
You guided Y/F/N to the table where your team had been placed. Being honest, she was thrilled to be there with you, but also quite surprised that you had honored the promise you both made back in middle school. When you had first told her about your YouTube channel —after a fair amount of bugging on her part—, she had shown complete support and joked about being your date to the met gala. But, as the met was still clearly out of your league and you had missed the Grammys because of your mom’s birthday, here you were.
She already knew your manager so you introduced her to the rest of them before taking a seat, ready to enjoy the rest of the evening.
The first few minutes were full of laughter and conversation. When the event officially began, you watched the presentations with a gaping mouth and cheered hastily when every award was presented.
Before you knew, it was already time for Harry’s performance. You bit the inside of your lip when he climbed upstage, effortlessly rocking a lace jumpsuit that gave a deific, but simple air to him.
“Can’t believe you turned that down to bring me,” your friend whispered to you.
“Seriously?, my first ever-awards were something I needed to share with you, dork.”
“Awww, friend.”
“Aww”, you mocked, then hit her shoulder lightly. “Shush, let me listen.”
Everything happening on stage was truly breathtaking. You mouthed the lyrics as your gaze followed his every move. His eyes were full of stars and his voice was so flooded with emotion that it made chills run down your spine.
“I’ll rip his throat out with my teeth if he ever fucks up.”
Those words somewhat pulled you out of your daze-like state. Part of you wanted to ask her what she meant, but it was no use. For her, you were an open book, so you didn’t even try to hide how bad you had fallen.
Only with a glance your way, Y/F/N managed to catch the way in which your eyes twinkled when you looked at him and the way you blushed ever so slightly when she brought him up.
You tried to conceal the impact of her words with a sip of your drink, to which she responded with a smug wink.
The following half an hour or so went by uneventful. You nearly fainted when Lizzo performed, and it didn’t get better when you discovered she was but a few tables away from you, next to where Harry had been placed. A couple of categories where presented and the moment you dreaded the most arrived.
Celeste was flawless on stage, and you couldn’t be happier for her. Yet, as you listened to her song, your brows were glued in a frown and the corners of your mouth seemed to weigh a ton. It was time for the rising star award, and then came international female solo —to which you had been nominated.
You turned your head to the side when you heard the scratching of a chair against the floor, and offered a quivering smile to Harry, who had not so discreetly sneaked to your table.
“Hey,” he mumbled, taking hold of one of your hands under the table.
“Hey.”
Celeste’s speech, which ended before you would’ve wanted, was followed by Sporty’s introduction to your category. You tried to stay positive as the nominees were announced.
Y/F/N managed to dodge Harry and get her hand on your shoulder. She gave him an awkward attempt of a smile, then looked at you. “You got this.”
You nodded at her words but, not so deep down, you knew this wasn’t gonna be your year.
“I’m so excited, they’re all so brilliant,” Sporty began.
Harry’s grip tightened on your hand while she opened the envelope, and you barely heard him mumble, “come on.”
That’s when the winner was announced. Billie’s name echoed through the speakers across the place and your face fell for a few seconds.
You were quick to recover and clapped just as eagerly as you had for the rest of the winners, but the smile plastered on your face quivered a bit as you swallowed a wave of disappointment.
That changed when she got to the stage, that’s when utter pride kicked in. While Billie said a few words in acceptance of the award, Jack Whitehall made his way to the table and squeezed a chair between you and Harry. You let out a snicker as he clumsily tried to sit comfortably, then you moved a bit back.
He was given his cue by the camera guy and began.
“Congratulations, to Billie Eilish! Now, I’m just so excited to be here with this power couple who, for some reason, are not officially a couple yet.”
"Glad to have you."
His eyes drifted between the two of you, then settled on Harry. “Harold, you’ve been coming to the brits for 10 years. Not to make you feel old.” Then he looked at you. “Y/N, on the other hand, this is your very first time here.”
"Yup," you chuckled. "Total newbie."
“Sorry for the stock question, but how’s it feeling so far? Kidding, we don’t wanna talk about that, do we? I bet you’ve already got at least five rehearsed versions of the answer to that question.”
You snorted.
“Let’s get to the point here.“ Jack leaned closer to the table, to which you responded by mimicking his posture. “Ever since the ‘Up All Night’ era, when Harold here was just a lad with his little bow tie and a mop on his hair, he’s been a ladies man.
Harry scoffed and waved his hand dismissively.
"And, as such, he can only be paired to someone like you,“ he pointed his finger at you in mock accusation, “my dear Y/N, who has been leaving a fair share of lads and ladies’ hearts broken —including my own��� ever since your very flare-up on that strange platform which somehow houses both Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ and your phenomenal album ‘Tears of Blade’. However, putting my broken heart aside, I wanna Know… you didn’t come as each other’s date, why’s that?"
Harry took a sip of his drink, "I tried, but she turned me down."
Jack faked shock. "Should I get my hopes up then?"
"Oh no, none of that."You shook your head. "I just brought a friend tonight."
His mouth opened in realization, then he smirked, wiggling his brows. "Not to intrude, but… a special friend of yours or a friend friend."
You threw your head back, laughing, then said, "Jack, this is Y/F/N. Y/F/N, Jack."
"Hi." She stretched out her hand, which the host gladly took.
“I like the way your hand fits in mine,” he gushed.
——————————
You struggled to stay awake in the car to your place, your eyelids didn’t seem to be obeying you anymore and your head was feeling too heavy for you to lift. Harry chuckled when he looked at you, bringing you closer to him so you could use him as a pillow. For the rest of the ride, he quietly hummed to the music playing and did what he could to ignore the feeling of numbness that was beginning to invade his arm.
You woke up when the car stopped and raised your head, scanning your surroundings. When your gaze met Harry’s, you smiled. He grabbed your purse and helped you out of the car, then you both took the lift to your apartment.
"Make yourself at home," you said, taking off your coat and shoes.
"Thanks, love." He hanged his blazer on the rack by the door, together with his vest and the purple pashmina that adorned his neck.
After changing into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, you made your way to the living room and found Harry, neck deep into your fridge. That's when you recalled you hadn't done any grocery shopping.
"Tell me if you find something, my fridge's just sad to even look at," you jested, standing behind him.
"S'not that bad. I mean, carrots, beer, tortillas, we could do wonders out of this," he scoffed, still looking for something worth looting.
After no avail, he closed the door.
"Or… we could order pizza."
He chortled, "Y/N/N, we ate like an hour ago."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
He sighed, letting himself fall to the couch in fake exasperation. "Woman, you’re a bad influence." Now, that was a yes.
You giggled when he ended up sitting on the floor, then taunted, "worried your Gucci suits won’t fit you anymore?"
"Ha-ha very funny." Harry settled on the floor, grabbing one of the decorative pillows.
"C’ mere," he patted the spot beside him.
"The couch’s right there."
"So?"
"So?" you mocked, "you come here." You clumsily sat on the couch, but he grabbed your ankle and pulled you to the floor. You let out a squeal but, taking advantage of the boost he had given you, managed to place yourself on top of him, caging his body between yours and the couch.
You were about to gloat, but he placed a hand on your waist and used the weight of his body to push you back, turning the cards.
"You got me where you want me, what are you gonna do?" When you spoke, your voice came out quieter than intended.
Harry's hand found the hem of your shirt and he began tugging it faintly, brushing your skin ever so slightly. He looked at your lips for a moment, then your eyes.
"'Ve got a few ideas-" his words were drowned by the doorbell ringing.
"Fuck," he groaned, head burying in the crook of your neck. Your fingers curled around his silky locks, then you mumbled, "I have to get up, you know."
He grumbled something else, but you pushed him off you.
You received the pizza and locked the door, proceeding to put the cardboard box on the marble counter. As you cut the tape with a small knife, Harry joined you in the kitchen. Stepping behind you, he placed his hands on your sides and a kiss on the line where your neck met your shoulder.
"Patience is a virtue, Harold," you teased.
"Don't care."He rested his head on your shoulder but his hands carried on with the feathery strokes.
Just then, you opened the box and swiftly turned around, giving him a quick peck before stepping out of his grasp.
"Help yourself," you instructed while grabbing two beers from the fridge.
After giving him one, you took hold of a slice and walked toward your previous spot on the living room floor. "Don’t know bout you, but I’m starving."
Harry followed with the box in hand, after settling once again, he placed the box between the two of you and grabbed the remote control.
You shook your head and scoffed, "all that wailing and you're just as hungry as I am."
"Not my fault that the bloody doorbell killed the mood." He took another bite.
Three beers per head later, as the credits of Dirty Dancing rolled up the screen, the pizza had been discarded long ago. You hummed to the credits song as your head rested on his lap, enjoying the feeling of his hands playing with your hair.
"Thanks for tonight," he mused.
"What d'you mean?" You adjusted yourself so that you were looking up at him.
"Just, you know, "he hesitated, finding the words. "You made sure it was a great night."
Your mouth opened in realization before you smiled, lifting one of your hands to his cheek. “That's what 'm here for." Then you sat up, and joked, "besides, 's only fair to admit that, for a business night, it was fun."
"You break my heart, love" he sighed, "all your business partners get after parties like tonight’s?"
"Nah," you avowed, "just the cute ones."
"I'm relieved, then." He pulled you to him by the waist.
You beamed, throwing your head back, "you're unbelievable."
When you straightened up, after your laugh died down, his gaze found your lips once more and he leaned in. "Can I kiss you?"
Your hands moved up to the back of his neck and, without a word, you pressed your lips to his.
Requests open!
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infinitegalahad · 4 years
Text
Borhap Boys As Sugar Daddies
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(reposted bc it was disappearing from the tags😭)
hey guys!! I wanna apolgoize for the disappearance, school is ✨madness✨ luv. so I've decided to try something new. But I promise I'm working on requests (and a bunch of new ideas). I love all of the borhap boys (bc they are babies🥺) so this might become a little series of head canons! no major warnings, just lots of fluff and some suggestive material. also reader is gender neutral (boy, girl, whatever you what it my dudes!) why not mix my fav trope and boys all in...one fic😳😳 anyways hope you guys enjoy!! I would love some feedback for future reference
Masterlist (requests are welcomed!)
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Rami Malek-
Number one that gif of him...need I say more? 🥰
I’m sick of how ya’ll sleep on Rami!! I’m gonna give him tons of love
He would be one of the most affectionate sugar daddy’s tbh
Certainly would spoil the HECK out of you
Whether it be paying off your bills or lavish trips to Greece, Rami always has your back
You never had to pay a SINGLE PENNY when you were around him
Being with Rami, you were a changed person
Your fashion game went UPPPP
Like chanel perfume, all designer clothes, nice handbags, you NAME IT
”Rami, I’m not buying a five hundred dollar shirt from Theory.” ”What do you mean? It would look so good on you, sweetheart.”
Yes, Rami bought you the shirt
You two were at a vinyl place and you saw a limited edition queen vinyl
He buys it (and basically 10+ vinyls you love)
SO RAMI MAKES A WHOLE ASS ROOM IN HIS HOME FOR YOUR VINYLS🥺🥺
This man is omfg i loveee him❣️
Little sneak kisses to your forehead
Seeing you smile as you shop and blush at his complaints makes him so freaking happy HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH
He would take you shopping at the best stores
“I would be fine at a target, y’know” as you look around a Gucci store
Rami would snake an arm around your waist as he cooed into your ear, “My baby deserves the best, and nothing but the best
What started out as an arrangement turned into a genuine relationship
When looking for a sugarbaby, Rami was simply looking for company (and someone to spoil the heck out of)
In all truth, he was simply a lonely guy who simply wanted someone to make happy, and made himself happy in the process
Wherever you guys would go, he would always wanna hold your hand and be close to you bc he’s scared of loosing someone he’s made a connection with
And i’m totally not crying as I write this
Both of you were in dark places when you first met
Rami showed how much he truly cared about you
If you called him all upset, he would SPEED over with whatever you needed whether it be pizza or emotional support
Sitting on your couch, his arm wrapped around yours as you vented about your problems
Rami had convinced you to drop your job and come live with him because he’s a KING!!
”Angel, you’re not gonna have to worry about anymore.” ”What do you mean?”
You ended up quitting your job and moving in with him
What turned into an arrangement became an intimate relationship
The sex between you to was AMAZING
it was VERY intimate
It started off slow but would get increasingly rougher god I hate what I said
Rami would always check up and you and NEVER go past your limits
It would end with the two of you cuddling in bed
Let’s just say you never had to worry about your bills ever again😎😎
I MADE MYSELF CRY WHYYY
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Gwilym Lee-
my love for this man? ENDLESS
Seriosuly gwilym lee HAVE MY CHILDERN
anyways to the pLOT
Gwilym is the sexiest and cutest man alive
The sugar daddy that will bring you EVERYWHERE HE GOES
He’s such a gentlemen
Like all relationships start, it was more of an arrangement then a relationship
Your job was to escort Gwilym at all these events as “company”
Gwilym would send a bunch of nice items and a driver to bring you to the location
”Hope you like this ❤️ xxx”   “Treat yourself! 😘xxx”
Like mister I-😳😳
Gwilym is literally such a sweet person
Whenever you were spotted with him, you would get thousands of compliemnts/questions
”You’re with Gwilym! So lucky!”
”That necklace is to kill for! Did Gwilym give it to you?”
”Teach my your ways!”
Whenever you’re at these events all these people give you evil stares
Your like👁👄👁 “is Gwilym a playboy??”
Gwilym is all like “what do you mean?? 🥺Of course not! Your the only one that matters to me right now”
He’s such a king we LOVE HIM
Spontaneous trips to France and Italy
Gwilym and you grow super close
Also your dates would range from fancy galas for Gwilym’s works or peaceful book/poetry readings
He LOVES books and always takes you to bookstores and gives his best recommendations
He literally turns into an english teacher while overanalyzing books
”The greenlight in Green Gatbsy is such a crucial symbol”
”Jane Austen is one of the best feminist writers, she was so ahead of her time!”
You wanna be annoyed but can’t
i can’t I LOVE GWILYM LEE I’M NOT SORRY
The two of you would lie in bed together
You would be slouched against his body as he stroked your hair, reading to you in that accent
As much as you love your gentlemen, you get him into the wacky world of ninety day fiance
”This looks like trash...I’m going to watch every minute of it!”
You guys order chinese food and watch this obsessviely for six hours
I know this is meant to be fluffy but why not add some 🌶
Sex with you and Gwil is like ✨fireworks✨
He would make sure you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day let’s just say😉
He would have to carry you around and kiss your head, saying “You're so adorable, poppet” or “Don’t strain your legs, Cariad!”
Also ceo of AMAZING NICKNAMES
”My anwylyd” (Welsh for dearest)
Would 100% write you romantic poems (over text and in paper)
And yes he WOULD dramatically read them to you😤😤✌🏽
He would always greet you with the most over the top nicknames like “Good morning cariad!” or “Sit there and act pretty, my beloved”
hi mr lee please make me your sugar baby
Gwilym is your sugar daddy but also your sweet, book loving man
He loves seeing you happy so in return, you make him happy💓💓
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Joe Mazzello-
This one is a wildcard ladies and gays!! 😌😌
Joe definitely does not strike you as a sugar daddy
He seems more like your boyfriend than anything else
The two of you were inseparable
After dinner Joe would take you to a karaoke bar or for ice cream
After the first date you started calling him Joey
Drunken duets to cheesy 80’s romance songs
The two of you would sing your hearts out before vomiting from the copious ammouts of ice cream and vodka
With Joe it’s eithier mcdonalds or Nobu in TriBeCa
Mr.Mazello has range😌✨
This dude is the ceo of cheesy nicknames
”Yes my little lover muffin!”
”What is it cutie patootie?”
”You look amazing buttercup!”
“What’s up, hot stuff?”
In public he calls you “baby” or “lover” dw he saves you from public embarrassment 
You know that meme of will smith and his wife? That is basically you and Joe
My love for his man is infinite
Joe is super clingy
Hand holding and lots of PDA
He wants people to know that your his sugar baby😤😤💓
he will always send texts like
”miss you baby💓💗💓💗!”
”can you grab milk from the store pls??”
”SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA WHERE ARE YOU😩😩🤯🤯🤯”
”Joe, it’s been a day.”
He has so many photos of you in his camera roll
You are his lockscreen😔💓
The ceo’s of amazing instagram photos, whether it be you wearing a burger king crown at Burger King or You guys kissing on a boat with the Italian sunset on a private boat
Captions would be could “my favorite fairytale is our love story” or “yasss queen slay it!”
It’s cringey but god Joe is so adorable
A combination of a child and gentleman ALL IN ONE
All of his friends are like “you guys HAVE to be dating!’
It’s suppose to be nothing more than an arrangement right?
I mean the two of you were living with eachother and he dropped all of this other sugar babies for you
The two of you are master chefs minus the one time Joe burned mac and cheese and set the stove on fire
Also not to get smutty but the sex between you two? Like
Straight up RAMMING to sweet pillowtalk
Anyways Joe being your sugar daddy would definitely not be a bad thing at all😘
Always exchange those “I love you’s” 💕✨
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Ben Hardy-
When first seeing Ben on your sugar daddy app, you were 100% intimidated
But upon meeting him, this tough dude was a PUPPY🥺❣️
On the first date he bought you flowers and gave you a hug
“Y/n, right?”
“That’s me!”
“I just wanted to say you look stunning, love.”
You were wearing jeans and literally smiled so much
You know this date was going to go VERY WELL NOW😩✌🏽✨
Instead of a fancy restaurant, Ben took you to a stroll around London
Whatever clothes you wanted? He got it
Whatever cafe you wanted to stop at? Buy all the tea/coffee and pastries you want
Hotel? Trivago
The two of you walked around the city, hand and hand as you got to know eachother
You ended up walking around the city for five hours up until midnight
You laughed and talked about thousands of things
In confusion, you had to see Ben again
As Ben walked you back to your place, you smiled at him,
”I’d like to do that again.”
”Call me when you want, y/n.”
So your “dates” became more frequent
Ben had the best ideas for dates
Dinners at small Italian places, walking around a museum, or just sitting in his place and watching mindless television
He made sure to spoil you
With gifts, literally and figurreitly
Sex was a large piece in your arrangeemnt
But it was not the only thing in your relationship
And it was!! Amazing!!
”You’re so fucking beautiful” as he would kiss your forehead and dive straight into it 🥺😳
Not only could that man be A BEAST but an absolute sweetheart
Everyday you looked forward to not only getting paid by him, but just talking to him for hours on end
He would stay up for hours just to talk to you, whether it be about your lives or anything
and that ladies and gays is a dedicated MAN
No matter what, Ben always found a way to touch you
He always had his hand on the chair behind you or your thigh
You guys would have pillowforts and nerf fun battles together
It would always end with a cuddle session
Frankie would be skeptcial but love you!!
You guys got so close that he took you on a trip to the greek islands AND PROPOSED!! LIKE!! YES!!😌😌😌
LIKE YES POP OFF MISTER BEN HARDY
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min-youngis · 4 years
Text
ew
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gif not mine (but goddamn)
~ Pairing : Jackson Wang x Reader
~ Genre : Fluff, Comfort, Lowkey Humour
~ Summary/Excerpt : It isn’t often you’re put in a position to play optimist in this relationship. That’s his job. You run on cynicism and a purely prepare for the worst, hope for the best attitude. But apparently, not tonight.
Established Relationship
~ Word Count : 1,639
~ Warnings : as the youths say, the f word and it isn't friendship
~ A/N : written for this prompt ("It'll get better, right?") from @challengingwords with uhhh some modification. idk what it is about their prompts that make me want to write jackson + fluff/comfort but god if it isn't fun. lets me put the burden of all my emotional constipation on this y/n bitch.
i'd love to hear feedback, spread the love!
masterlist in my description.
~~~
You’re about to turn into the garage when you’re stopped by a sleek, black sedan blocking your way. Also pulling into the garage. In the inky darkness of the night only slightly illuminated by streetlamps, it seems to blend into the background.
Their windows are tinted, but you have no doubt as to who’s inside, waiting for you to make the next move. You know he can see you, though. With a small nod, you back up a bit, so he'll have space to enter first.
To your amusement, he lets out a quick, little honk, as if in thanks, before he turns the car in. You slowly follow behind, moving into the second space next to the one where he’s shutting his engine.
You busy yourself with switching off the radio and gathering your bag from the passenger seat, vaguely wondering what on earth the two of you are going to do for dinner, now that you’ve both reached at the same, late hour.
As you push your door open and clamber out, you notice him standing at the entry to the house, his bag in one hand and phone in the other, typing as he waits for you to reach him. At the sound of your car door closing, he looks up, tired expression being slowly lit up by a small smile that you can’t help but mirror.
“Hello,” he softly says, pocketing his phone in favour of gently tugging at your willing hand the moment you’re close enough so you’re pressed right up to his side, welcoming the warmth and support and affection after such a long day.
You hum in greeting, immediately sinking into his frame, head tipping up until you’re looking at his face, dark circles, short stubble and all.
Shucking your bag up so it rests in the crook of your elbow, you bring your arm up to delicately trace along a wrinkle on his forehead, smoothening it as he lets out a small whoosh of breath.
You feel him squeezing your hand that's still tucked in his before he bends his neck to rest his head on your shoulder, eyelids fluttering shut, body melting. You would’ve crumbled under the weight, with all his muscle mass and all, if he hadn’t dropped his bag and wound an arm around your waist, holding the both of you up.
The lights in the garage are bright and you’re still keyed up from work, all analysis and logic, so it’s without much of a thought that when you start carding your fingers through his brown dyed hair, it morphs into scrutinising the strands. You’ve taken to looking for breakage these days, and you get inordinately excited when you find some. It’s like the satisfaction that comes with ripping apart a split end.
You feel a tiny pinch on your hip as Jackson mutters against your skin. “Stop searching for damage.”
Unfazed at being caught, you merely give the top of his head a little pat as you reply, “Couldn’t find any today, anyway.”
You’re saved the bother of listening to him whine by a rumble that emerges from your stomach, causing you to give a sheepish smile and a shrug as he resurfaces from the nook between your neck and shoulder, fixing you with a concerned but amused grin.
He dramatically clucks in faux-impatience, like an elderly female helper who’s fondly annoyed at her young charge for not eating enough. Reclaiming your hand, he shoots one last beady look at you before walking into the house, you snorting as you willingly do the same, linked hands gently swinging.
“What do we do for dinner?” he asks as he lets himself fall backwards onto the couch, pulling you too, so you land next to him, both your necks craned up, eyes shut as you face the ceiling, bags on the floor.
“Takeout?” you mutter. The dim indoor lights and the cushions under you, Jackson’s thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand, all lull you closer to sleep.
You feel him shift and you tilt your head to the side, summoning enough energy to crack open a single eyelid only to see him looking sorrowfully at his stomach.
“Goodbye, diet,” he mumbles as he slowly gives his abdomen a small pat with his free hand.
He recovers admirably well, though, swiftly taking his phone out of his pocket and beginning to order your usual.
Smiling at his antics, you let your head roll back to its initial position, eyelid fluttering shut again. “Don’t worry, you still have your nasty smoothie to look forward to in the morning.”
You hear the light taps of his phone as he places the order, letting out a satisfied hum when he’s done and immediately dropping the device on the sofa next to him before leaning back once again.
He shuffles a bit, and the next thing you know, your hand is being repeatedly, insistently tugged in his direction. Confused, you open your eyes and straighten up.
“Jackson, what – oof!”
He sighs in contentment above you, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other tucked behind his head supported by the arm rest. You, on the other hand, need to adjust a bit before you can reach his level of comfort, squashed as you are into his chest. You grunt as you push your way up so your head is in its preferred, warm shoulder nook, Jackson being of very little help and only slightly loosening his hold so you can reach your destination.
You suppose this is punishment for dissing his beloved smoothie.
Like he can read your mind, he says, “It isn’t so bad. You should try it sometime.”
You respond with a disgusted expression he can’t see and an ‘Ew,’ that gets you a chuckle in response. You feel the rumble of his chest underneath you, and smile in satisfaction.
“Weekend off?” you ask lightly once he’s silent again, partly to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep before the food comes and partly to ascertain whether you’re going to be facing another Jackson-less weekend without putting too much pressure on him.
The air changes, becomes a little more serious as he subtly grounds himself and sighs before replying, “Only Sunday morning. Rest of it’s booked.”
You try not to let your disappointment show, try not to seem too disheartened or sorry that he just cannot seem to catch a fucking break, but you aren’t known for being particularly good at acting.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, misinterpreting your silence for annoyance at him and immediately, you’re in a rush to clamber up to assure him how many ever times as required that he has nothing to apologise for, that he’s doing what he loves and all you want is for him to be healthy and happy and how is he supposed to be getting any rest if he can’t even get a weekend off?
The words stop at the tip of your tongue, your damning shyness that flares up at the very thought of expressing any strong emotion making you halt. You face him, your body held up by your arms resting on his chest as you try catching his evasive eyes.
You know, that if he weren’t so tired, he wouldn’t be so quick to just skim the surface of your quietness, would probably realise the true meaning behind it, but right now, you understand the need for softness, delicateness, stubborn reassurance.
Summoning all your reserves, you gently move his chin so he’s looking at you. “When can you take a break?”
He clears up a bit, momentary insecurity fading at the reappearance of his regular confidence. “Another month,” he replies, resigned.
It isn’t often you’re put in a position to play optimist in this relationship. That’s his job. You run on cynicism and a purely prepare for the worst, hope for the best attitude. But apparently, not tonight.
“That’s not too long,” you say, attempting for a cheerful tone. It doesn’t properly hit its mark, only eliciting a humourless titter at your poor attempt at optimism.
“One day at a time,” you insist, making sure he doesn’t look away, making sure he understands the conviction in your voice, making sure he knows that there may not be anything you can do about his schedule but you’re there for him, just like how he’s been there for you all those countless times that you’ve had a packed calendar.
With a soft kiss, you assert, strengthened by the returning light in his eyes, “It'll get better, yeah?”
You relish the exhale he gives, waving away the grateful ‘Thank you,’ and delighting in the subtle tightening of his insofar limp arm around your waist. You look at him for a few more seconds, making sure he isn’t going to slip back down before shuffling lower so you can go back to your previous, very comfortable position.
“We need to get up for food,” he chuckles, but he makes no move to change positions.
“We'll get up when it comes,” you reply, reaching up with a searching hand and patting blindly at his face, seeking to pacify.
The next thing you know, your hand’s been caught in the gentlest of grips and you feel him brush his lips across your knuckle.
You whine in mild consternation and bashfulness as you burrow yourself deeper into his neck, unsuccessfully attempting to hide your blush from him as he laughs knowingly, satisfied like he had intended this reaction, your hand still held in his.
“Ew,” you repeat again, giving rise to a louder peal of laughter, your unseen pout slowly, unstoppably growing into a small grin, like it always seems to around him, your fingers that were frozen in anxiety loosening and smoothly tangling with his.
It’ll get better.
~
181 notes · View notes
dclevinson · 3 years
Text
August 21: my kaddish month
I’ve sent this to a number of people, but I’m putting it here too in case some readers who might be interested will stumble across it:
A little more than a month has passed since Cindy died, and I get asked a lot how I’m doing. My standard answer starts with a couple ways of framing:
 --- the earthquake is over, but there are lots of unpredictable emotional aftershocks
 --- I’m past the Shock & Numbness phase, but normal life doesn’t seem normal. Lots of How Can This Be Real moments that can be disorienting and distressing
 --- many times emotions collide: how much to lean into or away from grief, how to feel it’s OK to feel OK when I do, how keep her with me and move forward too, etc
 I suppose at some point a fascination with grief can start to make others uncomfortable, but grieving has a logic of its own. One key part of “after” life was the 30 days of daily religious services I attended to honor her memory.  I found the routine and --- surprisingly, the ritual --- spiritually nourishing. Cindy’s eyebrows always shot up at the word “spiritual.” Usually mine too. I hope those of you I send these four pages to don’t find it too tedious Perhaps it’s a way of keeping Cindy in your thoughts and hearts too…
       I am a most unlikely daily mourning ritual observer. I didn’t do it for my father, and he asked us not to. But the ritual mourning prayers and the place where I’d be doing it meant a lot to Cindy, so I just committed without much deliberation. One problem in writing about a fairly traditional type of observance is that the spectrum of Jewish religious practice can be mystifying, even to many Jews. So how explain it to outsiders? I’ve tried to do it without being either too reverent or irreverent.
 One basic mourning commitment is to say “kaddish”, the mourner’s prayer, for a set amount of time. Jewish practice and custom is intellectually intricate and often arcane; there are rules and exceptions to rules and different interpretations of rules, etc. There are other customs/demands for remembrance too. Many think of saying kaddish as a year long commitment. Plus yearly anniversaries, set to a moving Hebrew calendar --- just to add to the degree of difficulty. But even the year thing has permutations: actual practice for some groups is 11 months, not 12.
 Why?. Different interpreters and communities make their own choices on duration. Our ritual director says “eleven.” Basically, some 13th century source says that “the wicked in Gehinom took 12 months for their souls to reach the highest levels of heaven.” But most Jews don’t even believe in a physical heaven!? Never mind. So, the reasoning goes, if the wicked took 12 months, we’ll mourn for 11: because our beloved Was Not Wicked. Welcome to Talmudic reasoning. But, traditionally, the year(ish) is for parents and children. For spouses the allotted time is 30 days. Though many people today may just do a year for anyone in the family. Thirty struck me as the perfect amount for the act to stay meaningful, helpful and not something I would treat as an increasingly resented chore.
 It’s not a prayer that religious custom allows you to say by yourself. You need a minyan (quorum) of 10. It used to be men, but now men or women, at least at our conservative temple (shul, synagogue, whatever --- more insider confusing terminology). But some do say it by themselves for the comfort it brings if finding a group is too arduous. And I cheated a couple days by joining the group virtually. But I found being with a gathering of supporters did matter to me. I could have gone to a shorter evening service to do this, but preferred the morning time. And came to think a 40ish minute observance time a good block to have meaningful daily impact.
 And then there’s the prayer itself. I realized right away that the weekday morning prayer service had many different kaddishs, similar prayers of thanks for and praise to a divine entity. But there’s one specific mourner’s version, said 3 times in oour short 40ish minute service. Twice, almost in succession at the end --- overkill or emphasis, depending on your point of view. Why the repeats? Haven’t pursued that yet. And, as some of you know, the prayer for the dead doesn’t mention dying or losing loved ones or honoring their memory, etc. It just profusely praises God (and lots of different words or phrases to refer to such entity since he/she/it is too holy and all powerful to mention the Real Name). Some phrases: “May god’s name be exalted and hallowed, his sovereignty soon accepted… glorified, celebrated, lauded, worshiped, exalted, honored, extolled and acclaimed… Lots of current Jewish religious practice incorporates the Middle Ages wholesale. Or earlier. Read the English on the facing page of the prayer book and much of the service sounds like the practice of a small, threatened tribe huddling in the desert thousands of years ago.
 There’s a lot about Jewish practice that seems natural and essential to practitioners but might alienate the uninitiated.  Or reluctant observers like me. The head coverings. The shoulder covering prayer shawls. The standing for this (many do: why not all??!), turning right for that, covering eyes for this line, fingering prayer shawl strings (tzitzit) for that. Whew. So many prayers and practices for so many different occasions. Designed, I’ve thought, to cement the devotion of believers. But it repel skeptics, too, I surmise.
 One such example: in these early services most men put on tefillin. Leather straps with little black boxes attached (a prayer inside) that have very specific wrapping/unwrapping  procedures for arms and head. It’s deeply moving to believers, but I’ve always thought it look repellent or ridiculous. Way too much like the garb of the ultra orthodox “crazies.” There are lots of I’ll do this/not that decisions in religious practice. I understand there’s a tenuous dynamic that exists between any minority and majority community, and clinging to tradition and being true to oneself can seem preferable to “selling out” to fit in. But sometimes it strikes us skeptics as more a clinging to “guns and religion” type intransigence.
 So, if you walked in on these services cold (I was lukewarm), there’s lots that would be pretty mystifying and potentially off-putting. How could you possibly fit in? In fact, I believe I was the only new guy or gal over my month. And there had to be a decent number of temple members who have lost family members during the time I attended. Seemingly no person younger than I was doing the morning kaddish thing. And usually I was the only or 1 of 2 who didn’t put on tefillin. Men. Women usually don’t. Though one of our female rabbis did. Good for her, though I wasn’t tempted to follow.
 I could fit in and feel comfortable at these services because a) I knew people there b) I was committed to being there and c) people took care of me. I no longer bristled at the imputation (real or just in my head?) that I’m a Bad Jew and I need instruction to be a Good One. This time I felt many there had cherished Cindy, understood why I was there, and quietly welcomed me. I was willing to look/be ignorant and accept guidance.
 It was reassuring to see many of Cindy’s compatriots from the temple sisterhood there day after day too. The whole group (20 to 40 most days) was interesting to observe: lots more joking and side conversations during the service than I’d imagined. And there was the guy older than I who usually wore cycling shorts and shirt, the much older guy who sat to my right who usually shuffled in 15 minutes late, etc etc.  Lots of accomplished people and interesting stories for another writer’s version. And --- most days --- someone called out the pages so I had some sense where we were.
 I can read Hebrew if I already know the prayer or chant. So I can’t really read Hebrew anymore. Much of the service is praising God’s amazing powers, thanking him for singling out and helping Jews (don’t let anti-Semites see this!), an intricate mix of different intricate sections that over days start to fit a pattern. There are a always some bits in any prayer book that I find edifying and worth recalling; often I’m reading in one place when the service is in another. My favorite in this one:
Rabbi Schuel ben Nahmani said: We find that the Holy One created  everything  in the world; only falsehood and exaggeration were not God’s doing. People devised those on their own.
 There’s no sermon on any days, just the chanting. And different melodies for different sections. And torah reading ritual (I could spend pages on this alone) Monday and Thursday. I still have to learn why those days. I preferred the shorter days without.
 I was most fortunate to have a long time neighbor and, like Cindy, long time temple leader who I was delighted to learn (only some 30 some years later) is a regular attendee of daily morning services. Like Cindy, he has the ability I don’t to take what’s worthwhile in religious practice and ignore the rest. He credits Cindy with his reading the new alternate section of one prayer praising the Patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob) by adding Matriarchs too.
 It’s not supposed to be used at this particular service, but a couple women who led services on a rotating schedule snuck it in. Much to my friend Rick’s and my glee. He joked about wanting to write: Minyan, the Musical. Have to decide how reverent or irreverent to be I replied. Yes he said, and some would love it, some hate it. Like so much else in life, I thought.
 There’s way more I could describe: the various “honors” during torah reading for one. Early on I got congratulated for pulling the strings to open the torah ark/cabinet. Basically, the only task our ritual director could be sure at that point I wouldn’t flub. One more key detail: I was wearing Cindy remarkable hand knit prayer shawl. Which, of course, many of her friends recognized. Once I made the mistake when taking it off at the service end of holding it to my face: way too emotional to repeat daily. Much more detail I could include, but there’s likely already too much. Ask me if you want more.
 I was asked to say a few words on the last day, right before the concluding prayers. I told people I was a most unlikely minyan attendee, etc. Grateful for this and that person’s help and Rebbe Rick’s (joke) guidance and company. Uplifted seeing Cindy’s sisterhood comrades, etc. Hoped in coming months to find an enduring way to honor her memory, etc.
 My one specific observation: I had been hearing people recite kaddish at Saturday services off and on for over 60 years.  But I’d never given a thought to the brief parts where the congregation joins in on a quick line. Just part of the practice I’d heard without really hearing. Until I was the mourner. Then, on many days when the congregation joined in…
       Y’he sh’meh rabbvo m’orach l’olam ulolmey olmayo…
 …on many days I felt my heart lifting and a wave of emotional support wash over me. This is why you should say kaddish in a minyan if at all possible. Or I hope in your tradition or life there’s some equivalent thing to bring you comfort when/if you need it. Em and I have been lighting candles at a set time each week also. That works for us too.
 The morning group skews old. But I hope that such a group is always there for anyone who needs it. I don’t want to attend any religious services daily. Or weekly. But this is my favorite service. I’ll be back. But on a day they don’t read torah. Forty minutes is plenty.
 I decided, too, that on day 30, I would take off my wedding ring. I sensed that if I didn’t tie that act to a ritual I might have a hard time doing it.
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bffsoobin · 4 years
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01|02
↳ when your beloved throwing team finds itself lacking on equipment within a school that claims to value athletics, you take it upon yourself to find the right person to remedy your problems. little did you know, the right person would be perpetually busy and you would be stuck trying to barter with one of his friends. how long will it take for you to convince Beomgyu that your team is just as important as his? 
➤ highschool!au, thrower!reader x volleyball player!beomgyu, rich kid!beomgyu, fluff, very light angst, mentions of other members and members of BTS (go read @btxtreads sister series Perfectly Perfect!!!)
Word Count:1,777
A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I hope you all enjoy it even though it’s been a hot minute since part one!
•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•
You were staring daggers into the back of Beomgyu’s head. It was the end of a very long school day, and the sound of him complaining about how sore his arms felt from the game the night before lit hatred in your chest. You were still close to boiling over the blatant ignorance he had displayed toward you last night on the court. If you owned a burn book, Choi Beomgyu’s name would be at the top of every page. 
All day, you had tried your best to forget his arrogance, but the fact that you spent so many hours of your school day sharing a classroom with him only made your annoyance tick upwards. The longer he spoke, the clearer it became that your emotions were seconds away from eruption. In the middle of an intense staredown with your history textbook, you heard your name. 
“Right, Y/N?” Beomgyu was leaning toward you but not lifting himself out of his seat so that his ring of adoring classmates wouldn’t be in between the two of you. 
“Huh?” Although you had missed what he said, you could only imagine what kind of annoyingly arrogant comment he was in the middle of making. 
“I was just saying that even you came to support us last night. That was sweet of you!” 
Your blood was boiling just under the surface of your skin, and the devil on your shoulder told you to let all of your anger loose on the boy right now; but the fact that so many of your peers were also listening in had you thinking twice. 
“Oh, yeah, I was there. It was a good win, but too bad Yeonjun couldn’t keep himself together and had to sit out at the end. I’m sure your coach wasn’t too happy with all of that...” you watched the way his eyes had narrowed slightly, “trouble.” If there was anything you knew for sure about the men’s volleyball team, it was the fact that they held their teammates very close to their hearts. And after yesterday, you wanted to hit Beomgyu as close to the heart as you could. 
Now, as you saw the subtle way his jaw shifted, you felt a tinge of regret. Maybe you’d gone too far, insulting one of his best friends. Just as you opened your mouth to apologize, the bell rang and a bustle of students began their exit from the school. Within the bustle, you made your way over to where Beomgyu was shoving notebooks into his bookbag. 
“Hey. I’m sorry,” though his back was to you, you could sense his hesitance to accept your apology. “I didn’t think about how mean that would be. I really did enjoy watching the game though, even if we got into a sort of fight afterwards.” 
You rocked back and forth on your feet as you waited for him to turn around. Once he did, there was no way to miss how intimidating his tall stature made him. 
“Thanks for the apology,” you let out a sigh of relief at his acceptance but it stilled in your throat when you caught his blank expression. “Although I definitely wouldn’t call our talk a fight,” he began to walk out of the classroom and some magnetic force had you following him in lockstep. You hated the way you hung around and waited for the next words to fall from his lips. He was too captivating for his own good.
He slammed his locker shut. “After all, we have to be civil at our meeting tonight.” He leveled his gaze with you as he leaned casually against the metal and crossed his arms. Feeling like a deer caught in headlights, you knit your eyebrows together in confusion.
“A meeting? About what?” Much to your own annoyance, your voice gave away your utter confusion. Beomgyu smirked at your response and you knew he had secured some type of upper hand.
“Me, you and our coaches are meeting tonight. To talk about that funding you need?”
“What? Really?” The excitement of possibly getting funding won out over your need to convince Beomgyu he didn’t hold as much influence over you as he thought. As you celebrated, you thought you caught a glimpse of his mouth quirked upwards before he backed away to head toward the exit.
“Coach Jungkook’s office, 4 pm!”
——
Around 3:55 pm, you found yourself hovering outside of Coach Jungkook’s office. A small voice in the back of your mind had convinced you that you couldn’t walk in any earlier than 4 o’clock, so you settled for leaning against the wall and running through your mental list of needs for the team. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even register the sound of the door creaking open. 
“Y/N,” your neck whipped around quickly to see Beomgyu holding the door open, staring down at you expectantly. “Were you...waiting out here this whole time?” You could hear the start of a laugh at the back of his words that made heat rush from your neck up to your hairline. 
“Shut up, Choi,” you pushed past him, keeping your gaze on the carpeted floor until you saw the coaches come into view. 
“Ah, there you are!” Jimin called out to you in lieu of an actual greeting. You wondered briefly if all three of the men were waiting for your arrival as you simply stood in the hall; but you cleared your throat and attempted to focus back on the task at hand. Jungkook’s office was extremely spacious and well decorated. The walls were plastered with photos of his beloved volleyball team from every year since he began coaching here. You even spotted some older pictures and trophies from the man’s own days on the team.
There were oddly comfortable looking armchairs located in front of his desk, one of which was already occupied by Beomgyu, who was spread out comfortably as if he owned the place. And truthfully, he probably did. Jungkook gave you an easy smile as you stood idle in the space between the empty chair and his desk before gesturing loosely. 
“Go ahead, sit down!” His sunny disposition always threw you slightly off guard, especially after knowing the way he acts on the court. Nevertheless, you sank down into the inviting chair and tried your best to return his grin. 
“So,” he continued, “Jimin told me you guys need a little funding help?” You felt three pairs of eyes drift to you, and suddenly the importance of helping your team began to outweigh your nerves as you began to explain your situation. 
“And given the...extra boost the men’s volleyball team gets from Beomgyu’s family,” you scratched the back of your head gingerly as you glanced at the boy in question. “Coach and I thought you would be willing to help our team out.” Your heart was beating erratically in your chest as you waited for Jungkook to say anything. 
“Well, I certainly think I can help you guys out. If you’re on the way to big competitions, I want you to have the best chance possible,” he slides open a drawer with ease and you can see Jimin’s eyes light up with excitement. Jungkook drops a sleek black checkbook onto the desk in front of him and nods Beomgyu’s way. 
“Why don’t you take Y/N and show her around the trophy room while Jimin and I talk numbers?” The idea of being shown around the volleyball team’s trophy room would normally make you gag, but right now you’d do just about anything for Coach Jungkook. Beomgyu agreed easily and got up to leave so quickly that you had to sputter a poor “thank you” to the man saving your team’s skin before practically running out the door. 
While the trophy room was located behind a normal door, the inside was excessively intricate. A fancy thermometer was set to an exact temperature to keep the expensive wooden shelves from warping under the weight of their wins. Beomgyu took an easy lap around the room before stopping in front of a ceiling tall glass case boasting an insanely tall golden trophy. 
“This was from our nationals win last year. The winning game was so close that we played for what felt like three hours. Soobin played with an injured wrist and Taehyun had strep throat but we still managed to pull it off.” You wandered closer, genuinely interested in seeing such an expensive trophy up close. Once you stood in front of the case, you could really admire the careful engraving that shone underneath the small led lights that were embedded around the case. For some reason, you found yourself holding you breath, whether to avoid fogging up the glass or just from the proximity to Beomgyu, you weren’t sure. He was standing so close next to you that a single twitch of your wrist would have you grazing fingers. 
“You guys are really good,” you didn’t turn your head to look toward him, but you caught part of his smiling reflection in the glass. “I mean it. As much as I shit on you guys, you’re really good at this.” You glanced sideways to see a genuine smile on his face that kicked your heart rate up. 
“Thank you. We work hard. I think sometimes people forget that,” you swallowed hard, unable to avoid the thought that the statement included you. 
“But I think we also forget that other people work hard for their sport.” A warmth spread through your body at his confession and you noticed the way the lights from the trophy case accentuated the sharpest features of his face. He licked his lips and your eyes tracked the movement eagerly. His cool eyes met yours just seconds after, and you prayed that you hadn’t been caught in the act of staring. 
“That’s why I’m happy to be helping you out, Y/N. My team and I can be...closed off. Because we know we’re good and nobody bothers to humble us.” He hummed in thought for a second before laughing out loud. You raised an eyebrow in silent question of what was so funny. “Actually, I think you’re the first person who’s dared to try and humble me since I joined the team,” he had begun walking toward the door of the trophy room and you once again found yourself following without question. 
He paused by the door, swinging it open and gesturing you to exit before him. “And honestly,” he shut the door with a resounding click. “I think it’s really cute.” 
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alchemist-shizun · 4 years
Text
Seirios
Read on Ao3!
Check out the wonderful artwork by @jajathelivingmeme !! She’s a delight and a talented friend 💜
Word Count: 22,331
Characters: Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, Thomas
Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Loceit, Remile
Warning(s): minor character death and death mentions, implied bad parenting (minor), slight violence, not physical, unrequited romance, kissing, crying, panic attack, ptsd, blood, face and eye injury, scar mention, knives mention, hospital mention, very slight gore (just in an emotional description), insomnia mention, Passing out, apparent major characters death (tell me if I missed anything!)
Summary: It's hard for kids to fall asleep. It's especially hard for Remus when he can't help but stare at the night sky, mesmerized. That's why his guardian and uncle Janus decided to tell him a bed time story about two stars' lives and adventures along with the Sun and the Moon. Janus surely didn't expect for the storytelling to lead them to meet the local astronomer, Logan, not to mention develop a stronger bond with him. The best bit? All of his stories were true. Meet Janus Hydra, a fallen shooting star become human, and come listen to the events he witnessed while in space.
A/N: This is my entry for @ts-storytime ! A big thank you to @i-am-overly-complicated for the moral support and some suggestions, and to @crazydemigod666 for beta reading the fic, love ya bud. I worked super hard on this, I hope you all enjoy! Taglist will be added in a reblog.
❝ It's you, it's you, it's all for you,
Everything I do.
I tell you all the time,
Heaven is a place on earth with you. ❞
He knew nothing of the sky.
He would look out of the window at night and glance up at the starry empyrean, wondering how it was possible that his mother had been part of those celestial entities.
And maybe, now that she was gone, he hoped she was part of them again, the stardust she had left behind now scattered across the universe.
« Remus? » his uncle Janus knocked on the door to his room and peeked inside. « Ready to settle down for the night? »
The kid sighed and stepped away from the window he was resting his arms and head on; sleeping was the part of the day he hated the most, there were so many things awaiting him, ideas in his head he wanted to get out in the real world, how could he simply lay dead doing absolutely nothing for eight hours straight?
Resting was too boring and Remus could think of more than a few things to do in its place.
Janus took a couple of steps in his nephew's direction and held out a hand to him like he was doing a grand gesture.
« Is the little duke in the mood for his sleeping duty? »
« Don't think so. » Remus shrugged and glanced at his bed with disinterest.
He pretended he didn't notice his uncle's small sigh and that expression that always seemed to show veiled compassion whenever the kid wouldn't comply.
Janus thought that Remus was a wonderful child, probably the strongest one he'd ever met, there was nothing he was not grateful for when it came to him: only a couple of years had passed from Angy's death, along with his father leaving him behind right after, and there wasn't a day in which he had let himself feel defeated.
After all, Janus had realized that he was the one to really need the other during that period.
Yet there was that one little detail Remus couldn't get himself behind, which was the need to lie your body down and prepare yourself for the following day. He could struggle all he wanted, but there was no way for either of them to find a solution.
Until Janus posed that fateful question in his mind: what would Angy do in this situation?
He raised his eyebrows as the best option surfaced.
Remus watched him tap his finger on his chin, looking around the room for a seat until he brought one in himself, placing it next to the bed the eight-year-old was now sitting on.
Anguis Hydra had been a shooting star in the sky and a writer on Earth when she fell along with her brother, and if there was something her brother knew best was that the finest solution to any problem she had found was storytelling.
Her readers had given her the nickname of “Angst Hydra”, for how much pain they felt thanks to her books.
Little did they know the stories were real: stories based off of other stars encounters they had had during their travels, her memory her sharpest tool.
« Did Angy ever tell you about the most luminous star you can see from the Earth's sky? »
Janus saw Remus's little eyebrows furrow, sign of a notion that was new to him. He brought his legs to his chest as he leaned on his pillow.
« It's actually a binary system, which is composed of two stars orbiting around each other. »
« Is it the … Sirius system? » Remus seemed to recall, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.
Janus nodded. « Good job. So, all earthlings know about them is astronomical details, the usual research stuff, right? »
The kid made an agreement noise, curious to where that was gonna land.
« They call them Sirius A and B, but as you may expect there's a lot more into it. » he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. « Your mum and I had the occasion to meet them and witness their life events. » he could already notice the excitement growing in Remus's eyes. « So, want to listen to their fairytale? »
« Will there be chaos? »
« You have no idea. » both of them grinned as the kid settled in the only right way he knew: wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and using his pillow as a seat.
« I'm ready! »
« Keep in mind that it's a long story, so we won't be able to cover all of it tonight, alright? »
Remus nodded despite defeated; Janus, on the other hand, knew that if he managed to get him hooked on the tale, he could have made his nephew look forward to bedtime and made things relatively easier.
A win-win situation.
The man turned off the room's lights only to switch on the bedside lamp with green LEDs.
« Alright little duke. » he moved in a comfortable position. « It's time for you to learn of the dance of the stars during the sunset, the moment the sun and the moon meet to leave each other's place to one another. »
Remus had never heard of such a thing, it was a simple tradition his mother and his uncle never took part of as their star selves happened to be constantly moving around with no time for grand events.
« But let's start from the beginning: let me introduce you to our beloved protagonists. »
✾✾✾✾
There were two notions stars were born with: the concept of the moon and the one of the sun.
They were aware there were multiple ones depending on which solar system they were close to, which planet they were taking into account.
But if there was a third piece of knowledge Virgil was certain of, it was that ever since he'd seen him from his little spot, he had been in love with the sun.
Such a titanic star shielding his own much smaller one.
When he was little, he'd look up at the sun and find a hero, a role model he had always been eager to follow: now, whenever he did that, he longed for contact and the revelation of his gorgeous self he wasn't yet able to meet from afar.
Casual passerby stars or nebulae narrated their encounters with the sun, encounters of which Virgil only grew jealous.
His admiration could only grow as much as he couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of those meetings, as he still wondered what was the intensity with which the sun's eyes glowed, the warmth of his protection and his benevolence.
« You want me to tell you about Emile, little one? » Patton was one of those nebulae that had been already circulating for a while and were old enough to attend a very important event that a myriad of stars took part in.
He hadn't quite realized why Virgil was so eager to meet the sun, but hadn't questioned it once since he'd met him.
« Well there are quite a few tales I can tell you about him! »
And so he did and Virgil found himself hanging onto every single word that escaped the other's mouth.
The little star could do nothing but wait for more stories as he grew along the space around him, hoping that maybe one day his orbit would find him.
Everything was going to change once he'd reached stability and joined the
Sunset's Ball.
✾✾✾✾
« The what? » Remus's sleepy eyes questioned Janus.
« One thing at a time, Rem. » the adult brushed some locks from Remus's forehead. « I'll get there later. But first, there's someone else you need to acknowledge. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman had always been aware of his star title: Sirius A. Thanks to that, he had also always known how he was part of a binary system.
Ever since then, he had been more than eager to meet the other star of his system, dreaming of one day finally finding a friend in them, like he had found in Patton, who would always bring news of Virgil.
He had learnt his name thanks to the nebula and mentioned it in his thoughts and conversations like he was a lifelong friend.
Roman's star was bigger and brighter than Sirius B, greatly shielding its vision.
He felt lonely during his growth and stabilization, anyone would have been intimidated by his star dimensions, therefore the visits paid to him were far less than the ones reserved for Virgil.
Yet he would spend his days trying to get someone's attention and, eventually, he'd stop to look down at the other star and wonder when their meeting would come.
Would it come at all?
Star dances were commonly known, but many happened during the day, so one wouldn't be sure of who they were going to end up with until their very first Ball.
That type of dance was the only one performed by stars, it occurred daily and it was a celebration of either sunset or sunrise, the moments in which the Sun and the Moon met and exchanged greetings, only to swap places with each other.
Only the most important stars could participate, once  stability was reached and they were certain that they would've caused no harm to others: the floating palace in which they took place had been the same for millennia and not a single wrong move had been done to endanger it, it had now become a pillar in their history.
Reaching that place was kind of a rite of passage for the stars and proof of respectability for Roman since, compared to the Sun, he and some other stars were far bigger.
Yet, humans had praised the Moon and his partner as actual gods in various religions and cultures, along with other planets they had acknowledged.
So the bigger celestial objects resonated that their importance still varied and wasn't related to how they presented, but rather to who they were, thus they learnt to stand their ground.
And even so, Roman's true goal had always been a different one.
He was going to meet Virgil, one way or another.
✾✾✾✾
Remus's head hit his uncle's arm lightly, a tiny bump against Janus's sleeve; the man took a break from his storytelling after noticing that the boy's eyes were closed, having finally resigned to the heaviness of sleep, smiled to himself and tucked his nephew in bed.
He followed his nightly routine as well which consisted of watching tv until he passed out and woke up way too early for his schedule, only to go back to sleep in his room for a couple more hours.
If only that night had gone exactly like that.
Janus had touched his mattress at around the same indecent time he did normally and fallen asleep minutes after.
Flashes happened and now hands were on his face, twisted and disappeared, turning into a pair of green eyes that were looking fondly at another woman. They laughed and held hands and he had a knot in his stomach as he hugged him a little too tightly. And Janus was breathing, then not, then sobbing, then he knew her happiness came first because the world was so cruel to him. Then Janus smiled, then he didn't, he held his breath as she stopped altogether and then the green-eyed man left. And he?
He woke up.
Barely three hours had passed and he was already sitting up, hugging himself and resting his face on his knees, his expression contorted in a multitude of unpleasantries.
That was not possible.
He was over that, he was over him, there was no need for his subconscious to resurface the majority of his life's regrets so far.
There was definitely no need to remember, to say the least.
What he was gonna do now was going back to sleep and never think about that dream ever again.
Of course, he actually laid awake to stare at the ceiling blankly until his alarm went off, which he turned off automatically, solely moving his arm.
He had looked into the mirror once he had gotten to his bathroom and forced a smile on, but the usual sparkles stars emanated when happy didn't surround his skin.
When he had gotten Remus to school, the kid had pointed out how darker his eye-bags had become lately.
« Can I get matching ones? »
« No, lil duke, better not. » you're gonna end up like this eventually as an adult.
Janus was sick of the constant pitiful glances he got from his co-workers when he had a bad day, the whispers they passed between each other, the fake respectability they kept when he was in a low mood.
None of them personally knew Janus on a close level.
So, as he thought, none of them could have felt entitled to initiate a conversation on a low-key personal topic.
Yet, there a man was, sliding a card on his desk.
« He's a good therapist, I've heard. If you … you know, have any troubles or if your nephew- »
Not even a glance at the name and Janus's insides were revolting. « We don't need it. » a tight-lipped smile set on his face. « Thank you anyway. »
The man almost ran away at that, embarrassed and frantically looking back at his own work position.
Janus took the card in his hands.
Those same innocent and achingly beautiful green eyes stared back at him; Clyde Davis had been his brother in law for as long as Anguis had been alive, once on Earth.
He didn't mean for his memories to overcome him yet again, but here he was, almost blinded near the day of the death's anniversary.
His eyes fixated on the nothingness right above the floor as thoughts flew by his mind: Angy and him had just fallen on Earth, somehow adjusting to the humans' costumes in no time.
They had some slip-ups when it came to ethics and morality, that was why when it came to the realization of feelings the two brothers had different experiences.
Who would've thought humans were so idiotic to banish certain natural forms of love such as the ones not stereotypically between a man and a woman? (the issues on gender identity and sex were also introduced to them on that planet, as stars lacked the concept despite their anthropomorphic forms)
Who would've thought Janus had to find out from the news right after realizing he had gotten a crush for the same man his sister had fallen in love with?
Sure, it was easier to let her happiness come first that way, but it didn't mean his feelings were hurting any less.
If anything, he was constantly mixing joy and guilt, some sort of bittersweet ending that didn't sit right with his emotions, but it did with his conscience.
Wrong wasn't how he felt at Anguis and Clyde's wedding, but maybe more relieved as he was sure that way his love could've dissipated.
At least he hoped so, especially since he was going to live alone from then on.
He thought distance had worked, but then Remus happened and he visited more often than ever, especially since the boy resembles the two people he loved the most.
The circumstances didn't help him, but he had learnt to disguise how he felt better.
Janus thought nothing could've shattered that nice picture.
And then Anguis fell ill.
Some kind of immunodeficiency, a state that saw her body shut down as a star that slowly died and stopped lighting up the night sky.
He had seen her eyes turn black, he had known all along what it meant, but he did not want to accept it. Only deny it to himself as he was now living at her place, helping out when he could.
When the fatal day occurred, Janus, Clyde and Remus were standing by her as her skin got almost colder than the bed she was in.
It hadn't sparkled in too long.
She knew what was going on, she had intimated them to say goodbye as much as they didn't want to; she looked unfairly defeated.
As the time struck, her body stiffened and everything left of her was stardust that emanated its final glow.
Janus's memory had blocked out everything that came after, especially the funeral.
Of course, he couldn't have forgotten the day Clyde came to him, his eyes now dull and distant, He wanted to leave, start a new life and leave behind everything else because he could not bear to look at Remus or him and be reminded of Anguis.
Clyde asked him to take Remus's custody and for the first time Janus had wanted to punch his face rather than kiss him.
But he had instead accepted, not out of empathy, but because he had become so lost that he wasn't sure his reality was so truthful anymore.
Remus had been a blessing, saving him from negativity more than he could with himself. He was a wonder, that kid.
Janus had zoned out for so long that he came back to Earth only as he was sitting on an armchair at home, while his nephew played with some toys right behind him.
« Hey. Did you know you're a wonderful kid? »
« I thought that was obvious. Also, gross, I'd rather be called stinky! » he hadn't even looked up from his creation.
Janus snorted. « Of course. » he made to get up and make dinner.
Later in the evening, Remus had climbed onto the counter and stared at Janus, who was leaning against the furniture while drinking some warm tea.
« I'm going to the astronomy museum tomorrow! »
« I know. »
« Don't you think it's time for a story then? »
The man giggled. « Are you bribing me? »
« You've been brooding all day, uncle! » he jumped back down, and hugged his waist only to pull him out of the kitchen.
Janus did his best not to stumble. « Alright, alright, we need some time-out time. » he picked his nephew up and in a minute they were settled for their storytelling.
« So- »
« Did dad show up? »
He fell silent, baffled by the sudden question. He gave Remus a puzzled look.
« You always act absent when something related to him happens. » the kid explained.
Who gave an eight-year-old the right to be that smart?
Janus opened and closed his mouth several times. « Well- Not exactly. » he scratched the back of his neck. « They talked about him. I think I might have gotten … triggered? » he wasn't sure whether or not that was the right term to use. But he did feel numb for the majority of the day, despite the flashbacks.
« Well, fuck him. »
« Rem- »
« No, fuck that guy. » Remus raised his voice more, but Janus didn't find it in himself to stop him. « he just dropped his burdens on you and left like a coward! Fuck that bullshit! » his face was red with anger.
« I know. But dear, you're not a burden. »
« I don't even care if I am for him. »
« Let me finish. » Janus used the calmest tone possible to balance out the other's upset. « As much as you don't agree with what he's done, you have to remember everyone's got their own way to cope. »
He sighed, eyes fixed to the floor. « In his case, he could've probably been a bad parent for you and decided to trust you with me rather than himself. He knows I love you just as much, so he wanted you to be in a certainly safe environment. »
Remus wasn't still entirely convinced.
« The thing is, he feared not being able to raise you the way you deserve. You still have all the right to be angry at him, of course. But you need to know that you didn't do anything bad for this all to happen, okay? »
The kid bit the inside of his mouth. « Yeah, I know. You've told me plenty of times. »
« Repetita iuvant. And honestly you've been of help more than he would imagine, so … yeah fuck him. »
The duo snickered and gave each other a matching mischievous glance.
« But seriously, no swearing like a sailor until you're older, okay? At least not in front of other adults, you know how they get easily impressed. »
« Ugh, they never let me do anything fun. »
« Capitalism. »
« What? »
« Nothing, let's carry on with the story. Tonight, Virgil and Roman are going to finally meet. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman was ecstatic.
He had been accompanied by Patton and they had now made their entrance in the ballroom.
The space looked fancy and highly decorated, white, gold and blue themes coloured every object, glistening with a bit of purple here and there. It felt like being in the gods' lair, high columns sustained a roof for a space much bigger than its guests.
A pompous environment that suggested any trait related to space and stars.
Everyone was dressed up for the occasion, he felt like he was in the middle of one of those royal dances humans had to entertain themselves.
They all had a mask covering part of their face; it was a way of respecting the Sun and Moon as they had yet to arrive and would wear it as well until they took it off alongside everyone.
Clothes and masks were pretty much the same for everyone, changing based on the type of star you were, only the colours changed for everybody.
Roman was wearing crimson items; they often recalled the color of a star's eyes, like his case.
« Feeling nervous? » Patton was leading him toward their designated spot, he had previously offered his arm to Roman after showing off his sky-blue outfit.
« Kind of. Don't wanna mess up. But also what if they're not here? » Roman was already pulling at the hem of his sleeve.
« I'm sure they are. Normally binary systems are put together. I'll help you search! » Patton gave a warming smile that ushered the other not to worry too much.
« Should I go find a dance partner? » there was literally no etiquette to follow until the two main protagonists arrived.
The nebula noticed the initial discomfort in him. « That, or you can stay with me for now. »
Roman was about to reply in gratitude when he saw everyone move to the centre of the room, where he got by taking Patton's hand.
Alright, here we go.
The first part of the dance had the stars already dancing around the room while waiting; none told Roman there would have been partner changes.
He and Patton had just turned, their backs facing, when suddenly his hand touched another one and there he was spinning slowly with a stranger.
Roman had a pair of purple irises fixed in his own, on a stoic face they were decorating, his head slightly tilted.
« Hi. » he had tried, but he only saw the star's eyes look down, ignoring his greeting.
That made Roman feel defeated, little did he know the stranger's goal was another and that he couldn't lose time on uneventful conversation.
One of each star's hand was intertwined with the others'.
Should have Roman been stoic as well? Could they talk during the event? Was he being judged by the other guy?
Still, after seemingly searching into Roman for some sort of hint, the other star kept looking behind his shoulders, especially on the front door, which was decorated with complicated bass-relief motives.
Was he more interested into the room's details than meeting new people?
Roman glanced around for clues and his eyes met smiling and chatting couples, giving him the impression that he had been doing something wrong.
Until he met Patton's look again and he noticed the signals he was giving him.
“It's him”, his lips mouthed and it finally hit Roman when Patton motioned towards the other with his eyes.
Roman blinked in bewilderment and turned back to his partner only to see him let go of his hand, his back already facing him, without a single chance for him to speak some last words.
His focus shifted again when a different light glowed into the room, he heard the door starting to open and everyone was pushed at both opposite sides of the room.
A path was now created, like a little temporary corridor.
Finally, from either door, two figures started walking down the path, making it very clear on their identity: the Sun and Moon had made their entrance.
Gold and silver shining like they were the only things in existence, the two met halfway and joined hands, making the whole audience restart their own dance.
Roman's companion had changed and it was now a lady part of a system, her name was Zeta, but he couldn't help but think back at how close he had been to his discovery.
Everytime he caught a glimpse of him, he lost it, happening so often that Roman had been closer to interact with the Moon instead.
Patton had told him his name was Remy, while the Sun's was Emile and they were part of a particular solar system which contained planets such as Jupiter, Mars, or his favourite, Saturn.
He had also been told there were rumors behind the two's different clothing; Emile was rumored to wear gloves so he could protect others from his burning touch, while Remy was never seen without his sunglasses, probably because he would have gone severely injured if he had directly looked at the Sun.
Busying himself with the search for his system's second star, he almost didn't notice it when people started scattering and some went back to chatting.
Emile and Remy took off their masks alongside everyone and respectively put on glasses and sunglasses.
« Hey there! »
Roman turned. « Holy stars, Patton! I can't believe I almost had him. »
« Well, at least you know he's here now, right? » the nebula started looking around from his spot to search for Virgil again.
« Yeah, I hope it'll be easier to- »
« Found him. » Patton pointed at a few feet next to them, where their object of interest was sitting, attentively staring at something or someone.
Roman felt something in his chest click as soon as he was able to see his face clearly: he didn't know how to describe it, but he loved and absolutely loathed it at the same time.
He realized he had been holding his breath only after he deeply exhaled, making Patton raise an eyebrow.
« Are you going to say hello, or …? »
That was not ideal.
That was actually utterly terrible, how he felt drawn to the other and yet terrified at the same time, the intensity making it a seemingly impossible goal.
Despite the other being the infinitely smaller star, Roman was in awe, like he couldn't compare to him in any sort of way; the aura he gave off was too strong, so much that he seemed to know the secrets of the universe before anyone else.
Roman couldn't explain it, but he had to talk to him or else he would've probably combusted.
What had gotten into him? Did the realization of actually having the possibility of making friends with the other half of his binary system just hit him? … Would the other really agree to such a friendship?
He was afraid to answer that. They barely knew each other, anyway.
Roman started approaching him and felt his legs as heavy as lead, his tongue tied and all the conversations that he had prepared basically gone from his mind.
So many years of longing for this meeting only for it to go into shambles.
Yet, there he was, at last standing next to him.
« Greetings, the name's Roman. » he achieved a single apparently annoyed glance. He looked still … in search of something. « I was wondering whether you were the star entitled as Sirius B. »
Roman finally got a reaction out of him, a slick turn of the head in an impressed expression. « How would you know that? »
Roman grinned and moved one hand from behind his back. « Well, you see, » he started, theatrically bowing down just that necessary to still look him in the eyes. « It just so happens that I am Sirius A. »
✾✾✾✾
Janus was mimicking Roman's gesture as Remus watched in awe.
« Who knows what Virgil will say? »
« Hold it- What do you mean? » Remus sluggishly said with his cheek pressed against the pillow.
« I mean that it's late and you should rest before your little school trip, alright? »
The kid didn't look very convinced.
Janus tried again. « Also, I'm going to give you a mission for tomorrow. »
Remus's eyes lit up again. « What is it? »
« You're going to have to find the stars I've been telling you about. There's going to be a dark room full of projections; it's gonna be fun. »
His nephew let out a “Ooh” of understanding and admiration, already picturing what it could have looked like.
« Come on now, » Janus helped him set into bed and kissed his forehead, at which, like any other night, Remus commented with a “gross” and wiped at his skin.
It was their little routine before Janus himself started preparing for the night.
He was pacing around the living room when he could have sworn he had heard something moving right outside of his apartment's door; he stood there for a second, simply staring at the doorknob, expecting it to twist at any second.
Nothing came through and thus he went to sleep.
He really needed a relaxing bath first.
Janus knew something had been off as soon as he had woken up; the uneasiness from the night before still lingered, pressing down on his stomach.
He could not deal with this.
It was six a.m. again and he was staring at the cupboard in the bathroom.
No, it was fine. He was fine, he could do it on his own.
He breathed deeply and exited the room only to find a perky Remus already up and excited for his trip.
The kid smiled up at him. « Is breakfast ready yet? »
Janus forgot all about how he had woken up.
Merely an hour and a half later, Remus had been dropped off at the school bus after making sure he had everything he needed and that he was under the supervision of all the class' teachers.
He was still going up the stairs of the condominium, when he noticed a figure fidgeting and standing by his door.
Brown curls, green eyes and still impossibly gorgeous.
Janus's stomach did a triple flip and he didn't know if it was for delight or bitterness. Of course, his mind blanked as soon as Clyde acknowledged him.
« Hey, J. » the tone was unsure.
None had been allowed to call him that in years.
« It's been a while … »
« Indeed. » he responded sternly, almost petrified as he waited for the other to state the reason for his visit.
« Uhm, I … needed to get a thing I left here. »
« Here. »
« Yeah. »
Clyde was trying his best not to make everything awkward, but Janus was making it godawfully impossible.
The star didn't talk any further and simply turned the keys to unlock the door, stepping in and aside to let the other enter.
« Get what you need and leave. » he didn't make eye contact, or else he would have been fucked.
A distraction.
Janus went into the kitchen, busying himself with getting things ready for lunch, while Clyde headed for Remus's room; there was a photo album he needed to get after all, there was no way Remus would have wanted to keep pictures of a dad that had given up on him.
He picked up the album and turned the first couple of pages. Then more and more.
Remus had cut out Clyde's face from any picture in which he had appeared.
It was a hit to his heart, a well deserved one, but a hit nonetheless; he put the album back and headed for the door, but something pulled him back to Janus.
The star eyed him warily.
« Did you get it? »
« Not really, but- I figured it doesn't matter anymore. »
Janus made an uninterested noise without looking back up at him.
« If there's anything- »
« We don't need your help. »
Clyde's eyes fell to the floor, but he insisted and came closer to the other, standing at his side.
« I know it's kind of hypocritical but were you to find yourself in a difficult situation- »
« Hypocritical? » Janus scoffed, finally turning to him and glaring at him.
He wanted to drown.
« The only time my situation becomes difficult is when you are around. » he could feel his insides heating up.
« Listen I know you hate me now- »
Oh, was that guilt tripping? That was guilt tripping.
« That's the issue. Everytime I see you, I get reminded of the fact that I just … I don't actually hate you and it sucks, so please leave. » he felt like he was on the verge of either tears or a crisis out of exasperation.
« Janus … » Clyde dared to lift a hand as the other tried to focus back on cooking.
« Don't touch me. »
« Listen. » the man took Janus's wrist anyway with the sole purpose of trying to put some sense into him.
Janus tried to wiggle free from his grip. « I said- » until … « Ugh! » he did.
But his hand had jerked back right onto his cheek, causing the knife he was holding to leave a deep cut through his eye and cheek.
He dropped everything and held his head as a luminous substance flowed out of his cut.
Star's blood.
« Oh my- Oh god, I- »
« Get out! » he yelled one last time and could only hear Clyde's steps as he hurried away from him.
Now there was something interesting about stars: they had a really peculiar way of healing, so much that hospitals wouldn't understand their ways. So Janus ought to help himself.
He quickly washed the blood out of his hands and ran into his room before he could pass out, closed the windows and turned every light off.
By memory he found the little box he had hidden in the bedside table, a secret drawer.
He opened it and a blinding light illuminated the room. That was the light that belonged to him as a star; once you disguise yourself as a human you get to keep it in case of emergencies.
Janus felt heat coming back to his body and pain retreating from his brain.
When he closed it everything felt normal again, despite the tiredness from what had just happened.
Then he looked in the mirror.
A terrible scar ran from above his eyebrow, down his eye and onto his cheek, still so fresh and yet … It looked like a childhood one. And he could still perfectly see.
He didn't want to deal with that right then: he went back to work on his meal and decided on a relaxation day as he didn't have work and really needed a rest.
All he wanted to do was scream and probably cry, but he decided on staring at the ceiling from the living room's couch.
By the time he woke up, he had to go pick up Remus from the school trip, which now required him to put on concealer on his face.
His nephew didn't mention anything about it around others.
But he wasn't certainly stupid.
Once in the car, he spoke up. « What happened to your face? »
« Can't a man wear make-up? »
« Yes, but you've never done It before. And you're not in love so there's none to make yourself pretty for. »
« Ouch, now I'm not pretty? » Janus chuckled.
Remus pointed a finger at him. « You're insecure! »
When will children stop being so brutally honest?
Once home, Janus went straight for the bathroom to wipe the concealer away. « You see, little duke, » he called from there. « Sometimes you don't want to explain things. Sometimes you can't. » he then went back to him and showed his scar.
« What happened? »
« An accident. I recovered quickly with some remaining starry powers. »
The kid seemed to accept it, despite being skeptical.
« Can I get one too? I want to be like a dragon! »
« Dragons don't have scars, kid. » Janus tilted his head.
« They do! It's written in books, they have them all over their bodies. »
« Sweetie, those are scales. »
Remus considered for a second, his eyes fixated on a random spot.
« Uncle, I think my life is a lie. »
Janus finally laughed for real and they decided to leave the corridor for the more important conversation to happen in the living room; the kid started going on about the astronomy museum and all its wonders.
« And then there was that big constellations projector like you mentioned and it was beautiful. » Remus mimicked how he would've showed him in the room, as if the projections were in their apartment. « The scientist knew everything about them, he answered every question, uncle Jee I want to go back! »
Janus smiled the entire time, especially at how his nephew was now looking at him with literal sparkles in his eyes.
« Your birthday is around, isn't it? We could go back then. »
The kid started jumping around in excitement. « I want to visit everyday! I could sell lemonade like they do in cartoons and pay my ticket everyday! »
He giggled, while Remus kept coming up with different ways to assist himself. « I don't think that's likely, but we could visit often if that's what you'd like. »
« But Logan … » the other murmured sadly. « The star man ... »
Janus theatrically scoffed. « Excuse you, am I not enough of a star human myself? »
Remus stuck his tongue out at him and started running around the room only to flee from his uncle's vision in order for him to try and chase him; Janus sighed in a “not this again” manner and walked towards his general direction.
The scar had already been long forgotten.
✾✾✾✾
After days of non stop talking about that one astronomer and the museum, Remus's birthday finally came around.
It didn't seem such a peculiar or important day for that same one astronomer the kid kept talking about, the intelligent and cool one that he wanted to celebrate with.
Logan was walking up the stairs to the museum, his beloved workplace he wouldn't have traded for any kind of amount of gold.
Thankfully, its location had been accessible to a great number of tourists and curious citizens ever since it had been founded, so that every worker could be easily secured in their position.
He waved at his colleagues as he headed to his little office where he often stayed late to do research along side other devoted astronomers; his afternoon shift was about to start, right on time to run through a couple of papers of the previous night before meeting his first group of the day.
Being a tour guide around a museum whilst assisting in astronomy research all the while had its perks and downsides.
Mostly for Logan, it was his insatiable need to let every single thought that ran in his mind directly out for others to hear and obtain as information. It had always been hard as a teenager, especially during high-school.
It wasn't that he studied irregularly – well, maybe sometimes – but he, unlike the majority of his classmates, had to do extra work on training his speech method. The bits of info that stuck to his head while he studied were far too many and growing with each passing test, which made it harder to form connected sentences.
Talking was even worse than writing, he had no time to re-formulate what he had said a minute earlier, he couldn't go back to check what was his initial point, making his oral tests a complete mess.
Despite this, knowing what he wanted to do in his life in the long run, he kept practicing, finding great treasure in info-dumping people about his special interests.
Getting to discuss this kind of matter with university colleagues was a far better help than feeling like you were talking to a wall when your interlocutor kept nodding and smiling, clearly ignorant of whatever you were talking about.
It had also helped to understand how exactly you should modulate your speech depending on the audience, making it all a perfect experience for a soon-to-be guide.
Logan left the room and finally met his momentary students, ready to prepare their minds for the bliss of knowledge.
He briefly glanced through them, multiple people all different from one another, proving the world that education could be for anybody; he moved through different topics with ease, basically dancing between different rooms as he caught glimpses of other interested visitors, such as curious middle schoolers, or a man with bright yellow gloves talking softly to a small excited kid next to him.
It was his place, he felt at home, that strange and rare belonging sentiment.
The satisfaction of leaving the last group of people whose minds wandered in the deepest parts of space, now devoid of questions.
Who he didn't expect to still be wandering around the various exhibits hours after their entrance was that same man with yellow gloves and … supposedly his kid?
Logan leaned on the wall of the room's entrance, still out of sight, trying to catch what kind of conversation might have kept them around for so long.
Not much to his surprise, he heard the man talk of stars with an impressive accuracy, pointing up at the big white and blue projector.
It felt like he had met them personally and conversed with them.
He found himself smiling involuntary as he recognized his own enthusiasm in the boy.
And then …
« It's almost closing time, so, are you ready to hear what Virgil had to say? »
Remus's eyes lit up impossibly more and yelled a convinced “yeah!” before sitting on his uncle's lap and pointing up towards the binary-star Sirius.
« There. »
… he was brought elsewhere.
✾✾✾✾
Virgil always thought they'd have looked the same.
Either some sort of twins or really similar, differently aged bodies, something as weird as that.
Now a gleaming figure stood before him, completely different from how he had imagined him, so much that he almost distrusted that information.
« Patton told me about you. » Roman added later, as if he had just read his mind.
After the initial awkwardness, noticing the blunt disinterest, he tried again.
« So, what would be the name of my system companion? »
The other star raised an eyebrow at the unusual title and looked away before he could respond, making his answer muffled by the music echoing in the room.
« Virgil. »
« Well then, a pleasure being your friend then, Virgil. »
That finally got a reaction out of him, as the smaller star snorted sarcastically. « I don't really think meeting one time is what it takes to be someone's friend, Roman. »
He laughed lightly. « My apologies, I don't actually know how it works, » still with a smile on, he looked down. « I don't really have friends. »
And there it was, something Roman had never seen before, but that he could've caught on Patton's expression sometimes, briefly.
The pitiful glance he would've learnt to recognize.
« Oh. » was all Virgil mustered to say. He had never faced that kind of situation.
« It's the big and terrifying thing, or some envy of sorts, I'm not sure … But I still have Patton! » Roman concluded, bright as before. « And it's also why I've been eager to meet you since I got to know about you. »
Virgil tilted his head as he quickly glanced between him and the dancing couples.
« Did he tell you about me? »
« A little. He wanted it to be more of a surprise for both of us, he was as excited as I was! »
Unlike you, it seems.
Roman frowned and brushed off the clear indifference of the other, instead trying to find common ground.
« Would you like to dance? »
Virgil finally looked at him properly, but it was as though he was trying to make a tough choice, whether that was a useful option to his goal, the same way he did the first time they met. His hand moved and almost reached Roman's, but hesitation got the best of him, his eyebrows furrowed, arm almost shaking.
Roman didn't understand; what was the issue? They had danced earlier. What was so different about it now?
« I- »
They were interrupted by a swarm of people coming their way, clearing up a path for the Sun and Moon to return back to their respective places, outside of the palace.
Which meant it was time for everyone to part ways.
« … I will go. »
And just like that, he was gone.
Roman repeated the events in his mind once he got back, immediately requesting Patton's presence. Just what in the planets had he just witnessed? There was nothing of the sweetness he'd fantasized about, nothing about introducing each other like old friends, nothing of that electric buzz in your chest, the one that makes you so sure that you do belong exactly where you are.
All he felt was dread, awkwardness and uncomfortable silence, loss of words. Stupidity.
That's what he was, so ingenuous to think both of them would've been happy to find each other at last.
Had Virgil ever even cared about all of this? Did Roman simply impose his dreams on the other?
« So that I'm sure I did not hallucinate, » the star huffed, an arm over his eyes as he laid down. « I did meet him. »
« That you did. » Patton said, sounding more certain than Roman himself.
« And … »
« And? »
« It sucked. » he got up. « We barely even talked! My mind was racing and going blank from agitation and he didn't even try to interact with me, Patton. He obviously doesn't want to be my friend! He definitely thinks I'm annoying at this rate. »
« Hey there, little sparkle, slow down with the all too quick affirmations now. » Patton's form outside of the palace made him almost look like he had wings for arms. « You see, we're not all the same. You met me, and I'm very energetic and mostly aligning with your extravagant character- »
« You think I'm extravagant? » Roman let in some fake disbelief.
Patton chuckled. « In the best way possible! What I mean is, it's easy for us to get along, but Virgil is pretty much the opposite of you, which makes it a bit difficult to immediately get along. You only need to give it some more time. »
The binary-star did feel reassured with his words.
Not completely, though they made sense, yet there was always something in the back  of his mind that made him doubt those kind of words. The nebula could tell everytime Roman grimaced for seemingly no reason.
« Are you … » Roman calculated his words. Surely he didn't want to appear more doubtful than he was after his “defeat” at the ball earlier. « Are you sure it's not … »
« Roman, believe me, he'd be the last to care about the fact that you're … » he scrambled for examples. « A bigger star than the sun itself! Star systems share a deep intrinsic bond. Just go at his pace, he might only be distraught. »
« I heard someone talk about big stars. » a voice called over their shoulders. « So I couldn't help but stop by. »
A feminine body loomed before them, familiar almost spirited eyes checked Roman out from afar, until she was close enough to inspect both of them.
« Zeta. » Sirio-A called out unenthusiastically. « What brings you here? »
« Didn't see you dancing. Was wondering what kind of unforeseen event kept you from shining your true beauty upon those little kids. » they grinned. « But I see you're already hooked up. »
« Patton's always been a friend. » he replied in annoyance.
« I don't really do romances, thank you! » Patton offered right after with a bright smile.
« Oh. I apologize for assuming. » she said, before composing herself « Anyway,  I'd appreciate it if you came to chat with me and Canopus instead of running around in search of a random dude. »
Zeta Ophiuchi had always been … an eccentric type of star, basking under the knowledge that she, Roman and Canopus were the brightest ones of the night sky.
She managed to enthrall Canopus in her own thinking, since the latter showed a less strong character than her friend; Roman, though? He'd never really been eager to feed the fire of greatness.
He had come to terms with the fact that all those acts of superiority didn't matter, since nothing really changed in their hierarchy.
« Why do you guys insist on keeping your title as names instead of choosing your own? » he derailed from the conversation.
« A little nosy, aren't we today? »
« Says the one who barged in uninvited. »
Zeta chuckled. « Touché. » she sighed afterwards. « It's because we want to stay true to our origin, partly because it also gives you a grip on your essence, your reality. It's empowering, Sirius. » she put much more emphasis on Roman's title.
He hated it with a burning passion.
Zeta lowered down at his eye-level. « Don't you think? » he wanted to wipe her grin away with a single death glare.
Patton muttered a “not again” under his breath; that occasion happened at least once a month, Zeta would pick at Roman's most sensitive spots and try to get past the thick walls he placed between himself and his insecurities.
« Well it's been a nice sunset! Why don't we go before it gets too dangerous for you to stay away from Ophiuchus, Zeta? »
She stared intently at Roman for a while longer before turning to the nebula and offering a fake smile and a nod. « Of course, Seagull. »
He breathed deeply, then waved sadly at his friend as Zeta followed quickly behind.
Roman understood how she and Canopus had been admitted to the same group as his, yet at the same time he couldn't believe how he had to deal with Zeta's teasing even in the palace.
Working towards his goal was going to be harder than he thought.
✾✾✾✾
« Zeta's a bitch! » Remus abruptly commented, causing his uncle's sudden laughter. « I like her. »
Janus tried to gain his breath back. « Yeah- » he chuckled. « She's going to be rather interesting in the future. »
« Well that was quite the story. »
His eyes widened and he turned towards the entrance of the projector room: there stood a man, probably around his age, with the usual formal outfits and the museum worker plate stuck to his shirt.
« I'm so sorry I- »
« Logan! » Remus sprinted to his feet and ran up the stranger like he was an old relative he loved and hadn't seen in ages.
So that was who Remus would always mention.
Janus walked up to them, trying to hide the embarrassment behind a polite smile. « Come on duke, we should get going now. »
« But he's the star man! »
Star man? Logan thought, low-key impressed.
« There's no need to rush actually. We'll be closing the exhibit rooms in an hour, but most of us tend to stay the night. » he smiled back, then looked down at the young boy. « How do you know my name? »
« I came here two weeks ago! » Remus excitedly said. « With school! There were two of you, you were the cool one. »
Logan recalled a school class and a co-worker helping out with timing.
« We came back for my birthday, but I thought you weren't here today. Can we celebrate together now? »
Janus let out a laugh between exasperation and amusement, then looked up at the astronomer. « He's grown fond of you. » he tried to explain.
« I can see that. » Logan crouched down to converse with Remus easily. « What would you want me to do? »
Never before an occasion like that one had occurred to him, plus an offer to spend time with people with his same interests other than his colleagues, thus less programmed to spit out information in any given situation, would have definitely been a breath of fresh air.
« Let's get ice cream. » Remus turned to his uncle. « Can we? »
Janus nodded. « If Logan is able to, I don't see why not. »
And Logan could afford leaving early every once in a while, so …
« Alright then, » he stepped aside from the entrance to let them exit. « I will let them know I'll be going out. » he pointed towards the offices and left.
About half an hour later, Remus was walking around the park, doing his best not to make the ice cream fall from his cone as he inspected all the bugs and insects he could find.
« I hope we're not wasting precious time. » Janus was walking alongside Logan not too far behind from Remus.
« Not at all. I have been actually told I could have used some free time every now and then. »
« Ah, are you the stay-in-late type? »
Logan moved his head from side to side in half agreement. « Sort of. It is mostly part of our job to carry on with research. You could say my work could be divided into day and night jobs. I do not mind it a single bit, to be fair. »
« Oh! » the star stopped dead in his tracks, realization hitting him, while the astronomer looked back at him, blinking in confusion. « How rude of me. » he extended his arm to the other. « My name is Janus Hydra. »
Logan gladly shook it. « Pleasure to be here then, Janus. »
The star smiled, then they went back to walking. « And the one who's trying to catch a butterfly is my nephew Remus. » he giggled as he watched the kid almost stick his cone into a tree.
« It was very thoughtful of you to bring him to the museum for his birthday. »
« Yes, well, he wouldn't stop mentioning it day and night. It would've been rude of me not to do so. »
Logan caught an odd detail in that sentence. « You live with him? » he asked, trying to be as cautious and considerate as possible.
Janus nodded and, for the first time, he wasn't asked why. He was silently grateful for, objectively, a stranger not trying to peer into his personal life as much as others would do.
« So, what about you? I haven't seen you around my workplace, yet you seem to be knowledgeable about stars. » he thought back at the moments in which he pointed up at the constellations with impeccable precision. « Is it a simple personal passion? »
« You could say that. It's something like a family thing. As you may have noticed, my surname comes from a constellation, by which I could deduce that probably one of my ancestors decided it was going to be our legacy. »
Logan could … honestly see that.
« Very peculiar. I can imagine the- »
« L, look! » Remus ran up to them with a butterfly in his hand. « Which one is this? »
Logan cupped one hand under his. « I suggest not to take it by the wings, » with the other, he instructed Remus to drop it gently on his palm. « Touching them damages them as it removes the material on them which permits butterflies to distinguish and disguise themselves. Furthermore, your risk to damage or even completely break the wings. They're pretty fragile. » the little insect walked up to his fingertip. « Here. » he offered as he gestured for Remus to carefully let the butterfly walk on from Logan's to his hand.
« This one is a Morpho Menelaus, also known as blue morpho. »
« I read they can drink from puddles. » the kid said as he lowered the insect next to one on the ground.
« That's true, they have a varied diet. Did you know some can drink blood as well? »
Remus jumped to his feet, a wide grin on his face. « They can?! »
Logan made a diverted expression at the difference between Remus's reaction and Janus's unpleasant disbelief.
« There's a moth species in Asia with this ability, if it pleases the butterfly of course, it's rare but not undone. »
Time seemed to dilate as Remus kept asking for more facts to the “cool man who seemed to know everything”, the small talk between the latter and Janus to slowly get to know each other more and the general pleasant aura made them forget it was almost time for dinner.
« Wait. » Remus, once again, caught everyone's attention. « What about my birthday gift from Logan? »
Janus wanted to intervene, but Logan seemed way ahead of him already.
« How inconsiderate of me, you are absolutely correct, I should have prepared for this important event. » he pretended to think about it. « How about you can come to the museum whenever you want without the need of a ticket? »
Remus beamed, that was the best t-
« No. »
And his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He turned to look at his uncle with disappointment, but Janus's glance was fixed on Logan's.
« I refuse to not support your job. We will pay, like any other visitor. »
« Let's make a deal, then. You can come whenever you'd like and stay later than closing time, while I get to hear the story you were telling earlier as well. »
That was entirely unexpected. What was so charming about events he had witnessed? It didn't sit completely right with him, but who was he to deny saving money for the sake of his nephew's happiness?
Janus looked down at Remus who had assumed the “cat with the boots” adorable pleading face.
« Alright, you win this one, but I still owe you. » he warned Logan.
« Completely fine with me. »
« Are you sure it's okay to do, still? »
The astronomer had no doubts. « I will find a way, no need to worry. I'll be expecting you two tomorrow? » he asked, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the side.
The other two agreed to come say hi after Remus had been done with school and thus they parted ways.
As Janus drove home, he realized he hadn't felt the all too familiar dawning of anguish a single moment of the day.
Was that going to be the eagerly awaited turning point?
Ever since they started visiting the museum, Remus and Janus took their time to explore every room and all the documents the exhibit had to offer, which made it really effective to tire Remus out in anticipation of bedtime.
Thus, the storytelling would often get postponed, especially since they wanted Logan to also be present, though he had to run important experiments during the first few weeks. They so decided to change it from a bedtime story to “their thing”, under the faint light of a constellations projector.
A month had now passed since their first encounter, and they finally managed to all sit down together in the almost dark room.
« Here's an apology gift. » Logan pushed a box in front of Remus who immediately wrapped off the paper encasing it.
« Apology for what exactly? » Janus asked with an eyebrow raised. « You're already letting us stay here for free. » it had become like a second home at that point.
« I know, but I have been around very briefly and I had to sneak you in late to cut out some time for you. »
« We aren't expecting you to be here every single time, Logan, you work here … »
« And you're also forgiven! » Remus exclaimed showing the little glow-in-the-dark stars stickers he already couldn't wait to put up in his room.
Janus chuckled under his breath. « You still didn't have to. » he made himself comfortable against the room's wall.
« If everyone's ready, I shall begin. »
✾✾✾✾
Roman felt like Virgil had been missing for most of the sunset dances.
He hadn't caught a glimpse of him in weeks, he felt as if he had been playing hide and seek all this time; Patton told him not coming wasn't possible, like stars were literally just teleported fully dressed to the ballroom the second it begun.
He had also been pretty busy avoiding Zeta and Canopus – not that the latter was any threat to him, actually she would've been easily persuaded to not tell on his location – that time ran out before he could meet up with Virgil.
All hope had been lost as he laid against a column and turned away from the dancing couples.
And he saw Virgil, a few meters away, sitting on a marble sort of parapet like he was ready to jump on his feet and leave. He was surrounded by a lack of other stars.
« Hey there. » Roman waved from his spot and his system's partner turned to him with the quickest neck movement he'd ever seen.
He looked as tired as someone who'd been dancing around all night.
… trying to … avoid someone …
Okay, they were both tired as hell.
Virgil gave the most effortless wave he could muster.
« Haven't seen you lately. » Roman pointed out. « Still, would you sit down with me? I don't think I can handle standing a minute longer. »
« I concur. » Virgil responded, grateful.
They slid down to the floor in almost perfect synchrony, simply watching what was going on before them: Roman was able to catch Patton's eyes and smile at him.
« Remember when you said I'm not a good judge of what is and isn't a friendship? »
« Didn't phrase it like that, but sure. »
« Does someone who's constantly bothering you and generally poke at your limits seem like a friend? »
Virgil took a silent but deeper look at the other and noted in his mind how exasperated he sounded.
« That sounds more like someone's been annoying you non-stop. That's … not exactly friendship either. »
Roman sighed, trying not to spiral into hysteria by the end of the night; he could hear Zeta's imposing voice in every corner he tried to escape.
How to break into silence?
« What do you think about going to the balcony? »
Virgil didn't hate the idea, but worry got the best of him. « Isn't that section of the palace reserved to the Sun and Moon only? »
His acquaintance displayed a mischievous smile. « Not if we get back before anyone notices. » he pulled himself to his feet, offering his hand to the other confidently.
Virgil couldn't help but take it and venture into unexplored areas; the hallways decorations were pretty much the same, if not less sumptuous, of the ballroom. He watched as Roman pushed glass doors open and revealed a terrace with a view of the Earth's sunrise on the sky above them.
They must have been on the Sun's wing. He felt suddenly more agitated about his presence there.
« Finally, » Roman took large steps to the parapet and leaned on it, closing his eyes to the gentle breeze caressing his hair. « A moment of silence. »
Virgil mimicked him. « I hadn't felt this peaceful nothingness in a long while. »
The other opened one eye to give him a sideways look. « You have visitors? »
« People have been fussing over me for some reason ever since we made our debut here. »
That explained the ever tired look, the staying behind as stars danced and had fun, and especially the unwanted attention.
« They say they find me cute or whatever, only because I'm the smaller star in the binary system. It's … really annoying. Kind of offensive, if I can say. »
« Here we are, » Roman chuckled to himself. « Both socially exhausted because everybody's patronizing you, while I'm being picked at constantly. »
« It's our system's fatal flaw. » Virgil confessed dramatically, which made the other snort, surprised by the sudden burst of confidence with joking around him.
They spent some more minutes in silence, the music from the ballroom was barely audible, like they were slowly being taken away.
Neither of their situations were desirable, but Roman really could've used some positive attention every once in a while, instead of laying in the dreadful awaiting of being ridiculed, as whoever else passed by him tried not to make eye contact.
He didn't realize he had progressively lowered his head to rest on the parapet's rail, his eyes half-lidded. He dared to take a quick glance at Virgil, standing tall as he observed the morning sky: every movement of his purple irises looked like a stroke of a brush on an expensive painting.
There, he looked much bigger than the universe they were in, some sort of irony against his usual small perception, which caused other stars to nickname him as “the pup”.
Roman's face portrayed an amused smile as he imagined Virgil being one of Earth's small dogs he had been told about.
It quickly faltered though, as soon as he shook the thought away, the sorrowful reality of his loneliness hit him and he couldn't stop himself from murmuring his belief to the sunrise.
« I really have only one friend, huh? »
The quiet around made it possible for Virgil to hear clearly, so he turned and looked at him from above, pondering whether or not it was appropriate of him to console Roman in some way.
At the end of the day, they really were alike, as distinct as they still could appear.
« You can have me? Two isn't much higher than one, but it isn't as bad. »
Roman averted the sky to disperse his bewilderment directly into Virgil's eyes, all fluttery eyelids and raised eyebrows.
« That would be so much better. » Virgil was glad to be the cause of his smile for once. « Thank you, Virgil. »
« You can call me Virge. »
Roman started cooing mockingly. « Aw, you're opening up to me. »
« And already regretting it, thank you very much. »
The other genuinely laughed and his expression softened, letting silence set one more veil above them.
« I wish I could visit you. » Roman then said after admiring the landscape. « We'd make sleepovers along with Patton- »
« Stars don't sleep. »
Oh, damn it. They had gotten so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the music fading out completely.
As they turned, they noticed Emile at the entrance of the terrace, a warm expression set on his face, some sort of understanding as he had his arms folded over himself and sparkles of light all around.
He wasn't hostile, yet he knew they didn't belong there. Still, he wasn't one to reprimand.
« You should hurry back, friends. » he suggested, leaving one of the two doors free for them to pass through.
The two quickly made their way towards the hallway, but for Virgil it felt like an eternity: the moment he locked eyes with the Sun, it was as though his body refused to acknowledge its own movements. He didn't realize Roman had been tugging him by the sleeve as Virgil walked right past Emile, never leaving his glance.
Roman turned back to him as they half-ran towards the ballroom, noticing Virgil still hadn't turned his head from the balcony's entrance.
« Are you alright? »
« Huh? » Virgil quickly moved to look forward and find Roman's curious face.
The bigger star noticed the glimmering lights on his cheeks: a common feature which meant a star was happy or feeling intense emotions.
He saw Roman furrow his eyes, like he was trying to connect the dots, but rapidly ignoring it as they had made their way through the ballroom.
This time, Roman had a different tale to tell Patton.
✾✾✾✾
« So- uh? »
As Janus had been stroking Remus's hair absentmindedly, he hadn't realized the kid's breath had been slowing down to an evenly repeated movement: as he looked down, he saw his nephew biting through his glove in his sleep.
« It really sounds like an effective bedtime story. » Logan commented as Janus carefully placed Remus's head on his shoulder. He helped him stand up without losing balance and they quietly made their way towards the exit and, subsequently, Janus's car as, like Logan said, “it was the least he could do for them that night”.
« Are you going to go back in? » Janus whispered as he kept an eye on the backseat of his car.
Logan checked his watch, noticing time had flown by rather quickly, no wonder the kid had already fallen asleep. « I think so, yes. »
« Okay. » the other nodded. « Don't stay too late, Remus is not the only one who needs sleep. »
« I am fully aware of what a healthy circadian rhythm consists of. » he threw in a slight, non-harmful piece of sarcasm in his voice.
« Oh, I know you do. I was just making sure you knew you aren't elected to ignore it either way. »
Logan was delighted by the atmosphere: it was always pleasant to realize the exact moment in which you got closer to someone, the caring feeling hidden under friendly banter.
He was glad someone was looking out for him in that way.
« I'll theorize about what's going to happen next in your tale to help myself, then. »
« Hey, » Janus pointed towards him. « Don't you dare use that excuse to stay up later, though. »
« Will not do. » Logan chuckled. « Seriously, though, you needn't worry. »
« Fine. » he said, realizing that maybe his “mother-hen” senses had been activated the moment his nephew had fallen asleep.
He looked back at his little duke, and took a step backward, moving to his car.
« Well- »
Janus raised his arm to wave, but was interrupted by his friend's sudden words.
« I was thinking, » Logan was tapping his fingertips together before stopping altogether and making eye contact, like he had forgotten what he was doing. « If you'd like to and if you have time, we could hang out? It doesn't always have to be my workplace, or be a rushed thing. »
« That would be lovely! I can't really leave Remus alone nowadays and I always work when he's at school, as I imagine you do as well, but you could definitely come visit when you're off. »
Both of them were thrilled of the thought of spending quality time with each other for once.
« Oh, right. I could pick you up from work and you could have dinner with us! »
« Sounds excellent. » Logan moved slightly and a speck of street light hit part of his face, lighting up one of his eyes.
It was there that it was clear how the dark of the night made everything seem more mysterious and grim.
They waved each other goodbye, deciding to agree upon the day of their meeting via text.
Janus heard Remus shuffle in his seat, he was gripping tightly at the door's handle.
The moment he looked back ahead of himself he noticed an unusual glimmering under his eyes: he quickly checked on the rear-view mirror, finding the same sparkles he had described in his story.
He in-took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever was going to come in the future, while all he could think about were sharp looks and a poised personality.
That sure as the sky was going to be interesting to witness.
For example, it was deeply interesting when he received a call from Logan, the latter insisting he couldn't be able to sleep; the sound of the phone ringing had also woken Remus up, whom unceremoniously plopped onto his uncle's bed right beside him as soon as he heard Logan's voice.
Now he had two restless kids to put to sleep.
« This isn't an excuse for both of you to stay up later is it? »
« I wanted to talk to Logan too! »
« And I forgot to get melatonin on my way to work. »
After arguing to get him to make a physical note to leave on his table for the morning after, Janus allowed the man to stay on the line and Remus to get comfortable under the covers, while only the bedside table lamp was on.
✾✾✾✾
The terrace scene had replayed in Virgil's head for weeks.
Ever since the start, his goal had been the one to be able to reach the Sun, the one childhood hero he had grown to love, now he had him at his fingertips and yet, he was still so distant.
He danced with strangers to gain courage to get as close as possible to him, but he couldn't find it to touch his hand, let alone when he had to speak a single word to him.
The Sun seemed kind-hearted, he was for sure as well, he knew he wouldn't have been the target of insults for his deep admiration.
Despite all of this, he was still scared.
He was going to explode if he didn't speak up about it anytime soon.
« Are you alright? »
That question again, while the same thoughts circled in his mind, ones he couldn't keep in anymore.
« I think I'm in love with him. »
Roman battered his eyes. He had been spending most of the dance time with him, venting to each other about whoever came to visit or simply relaxing in the quietest spot they were allowed to reach.
They hadn't danced together once yet.
« Care to explain further? »
How could he when he couldn't even say his name?
« The sun. » Virgil hardly let out any voice. « I just- » he felt all the tension wash away as he looked into Roman's red irises, willing to gather more knowledge on the situation. « I'm happy to come here only because I have a chance to see him, but every single time someone else sweeps him away before I can even reach him. »
That would've been Remy, Roman thought.
« And even if I had the opportunity … I couldn't take it. It's stronger than me and it's eating me alive at the same time. » his breath was heavy with emotion.
Roman made space to a new feeling as well. There was only one way he could explain it.
Daggers.
Daggers piercing through your chest and stomach, multiple of them slowly and attentively burning holes in every vital organ, becoming sharper the longer Roman breathed through it.
It was because of empathy, right? He felt awful for Virgil's incapacity to interacting with the one he loved.
So why would the thought of helping him deepen the sharpness of those knives?
« I just … need to at least talk about it with someone. I only ever really have this opportunity with you and then again, staying alone with my thoughts- »
« It makes you want to scream. »
Roman wanted to yell the pain away.
« Like your organs are contorting … »
And twisting and looking for a way out of your body.
« … And your heart is in your throat, trying its best to escape. »
Virgil nodded, an aching expression displayed on his face.
« Why don't you just go? Next time, you just throw yourself in. Be yourself. It's always what they tell you to do. Let it happen, be natural and respect his boundaries. A path will slowly be open to you. »
What was he doing?
Virgil let the information sink in and, slowly, that pained face transformed into a warm smile.
That. That's what I'm doing. That's what I always want to do.
It was also how they tended to spend the sunset and sunrise dances ever since; Roman would sit down with Virgil in the corner and psych him up for him to be able to, eventually, open up to the opportunity of meeting Emile for real.
And, at the same time, he watched himself struggle and fall down, masking himself for the sake of the other.
On a particular night, he was walking away from the room alone, a myriad of thoughts surrounding his mind.
He didn't even have what he wanted.
« No, I do. » he retorted to himself, stopping dead in his tracks.
Virgil was his friend, that's all he had ever wanted ever since he found out about his existence, so why was it just not enough yet? Why was it so doleful, the idea of the friend he craved being so happy with someone else?
Why couldn't it just admit his emotions to himself? Why was there always a wall between him and how he felt?
« Would you please like to get moving? » he felt a hand push him from his back and the sight of Zeta and Canopus at her side obscured his mind from whatever he was thinking.
He didn't react much other than get to walking again, everything would've been fine, to some extent, if he didn't hear her whisper to her friend about how she was going to stop at Sirius's star before.
Anxiety surged in his stomach, up to his stomach, pumping his heart more than needed.
« You've been distraught. » she announced as they landed on his star. « What's up? »
« You think I'd tell you? »
« Why do you have anyone else to say that to? »
Roman looked down: as much as he hated to admit it, she was right.
« That still doesn't mean I suddenly want to open up to you. »
« Sirius, come on, you think you'll ever get the chance to do so with that little kid? »
« His name is Virgil. » he growled.
She tilted her head, mouth open. « Protective aren't we? » he clicked her tongue three times. « Not good, Sirius, not good. As I was saying, you'll never have the chance to talk with anyone but me and Canopus. »
Shut up.
« Patton won't be able to be here for you forever. »
Shut up.
« And everybody knows how Sirius B's star is slowly dying- »
« Can you stop for once in your life?! »
Zeta watched as Roman put his hands on his ears, eyes wide with panic, his entire body was trembling as he sat down, his sadness finally hitting him. Tears welled in his ruby eyes as too many concerns formed inside him.
« Don't talk about him. » he managed to say through the sobs. « Don't mention him, in any way, I don't want you to even think about him. »
Zeta arched an eyebrow and stepped closer, offended by the sudden burst. « You really need to own up to your true title and stop hanging around the pathetic ones. »
She walked away from him, until yelling took her by surprise.
« I love him! » Roman admitted, pulling his arms away from his eyes, his face reddened and wet with sorrow. « Are you happy?! I love him and he definitely doesn't. »
He looked down and all he saw was opaque misery.
« Well of course he doesn't. » she spat, turning back to give him one last disgusted glance. « Look at yourself. »
The last dagger.
Roman collapsed and let out all his anguish.
Yet again, he was going to find himself left behind, alone in his shuddersome melancholy.
And no one else had to know.
✾✾✾✾
There was a beat of silence.
« Uncle, how am I going to sleep after all of that? »
Janus grinned mischievously. « I like to torture my readers. » then he picked up the phone again and whispered. « But listen. »
Nothing more than a slow breathing came from the other end.
« Want to say goodnight? »
Remus nodded vigorously. « Night Lol! » he then watched as Janus hung up. « Is Roman going to be okay? »
Janus shrugged. « Maybe. »
« I'm going to kick you off the bed. »
« I'd tease you more but I recognize you're actually able to do that. »
« Good. » Remus smiled and eventually tucked himself further in bed, ready for a good night's sleep. And maybe some chaos in the middle of it, but it wasn't like his uncle had to know.
On a fortunate weekend, Janus and Remus were finally driving back to their apartment with a new component of their little group. Logan was contentedly sitting in the passenger seat, ready for another one of the peculiar nights around who became in no time two of his favorite people.
As he made his way through the porch, he noticed how Remus had wanted to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars on every single apartment wall. In fact, he had told the astronomer how sometimes he would convince his uncle to have a sleepover in different rooms.
« Imagine sleeping in the kitchen and waking up to breakfast ready! »
« That literally already happens, I always cook you something before you wake up. And don't think I don't notice those midnight snacks. »
The dinner went by nicely, Logan had settled in quickly, like he had always belonged there: he helped with food and to hinder Remus whenever it was extremely needed, or at least keep him company while he played as Janus was busy in the kitchen.
Having Logan around felt like the most normal thing ever and Janus was grateful to have a friendship like his.
Before he knew it, the sparkles were back. He fought them away as he called the other two, trying to keep himself through the entire meal, but it was absolutely impossible as he kept laughing and smiling thanks to someone so dashingly-
Hold up. Back on track.
You're supposed to fight it back, not welcome it, you dumbass.
Remus lost interest in the TV show he was following and left the room to go play with his toys once he had finished eating, taking some ice cream with him.
In the middle of a conversation, Janus absentmindedly rubbed at his cheek, not noticing he had taken off some of the makeup he meticulously had put on before he left home.
Someone else noticed, of course.
« Oh- You have- Hang on. » Logan bent over the table, thinking an eyelash had fallen on Janus's cheek, though when he noticed it didn't fall off, rather it expanded, he arched his eyebrows and sat back, looking at the makeup residue on his fingertips.
Janus's heart had skipped multiple beats since then. What was he supposed to say now?
« I would never pry, but, is everything alright? »
Seeing the genuine concern and care behind Logan's glasses, he convinced himself it was time for him to learn the story behind him.
Not every single detail … as he would've never believed him.
« It's … kind of a long story. » he began, folding his hands together on the table. « Remus's mother, she was my sister. She had married this man, Clyde Davis. »
« The therapist? »
« You know him? » the world surely was very little.
« Not personally. » his doctor had suggested him as he was also a psychiatrist, to help with his sleep issues.
« Well, they were together for a few years, then they had Remus and everything was going splendidly. » his glance moved from his hands to Remus playing in the other room. « Until my sister fell ill. It didn't take too long for it to consume her … I was already staying by their side pretty much daily, supporting them. » he sighed deeply and passed a hand on his face. « When she passed away, it also didn't take long before Clyde decided to start a new life … without Remus. »
« He … passed him onto you? Just like that? » Logan was bewildered negatively.
« Yes. He said we reminded him too much of her and he couldn't stay in that kind of environment anymore. »
« I understand the decision, but, and pardon my french, that is what they call a “dick move”. »
Janus couldn't help but giggle at that. « Yeah, I can't believe I used to be in love with him. »
Wait.
Wait.
Earthlings, Janus, you fool!
That was it, he ruined automatically whatever he had created with Logan with a single sentence because he forgot the humans' moral compass.
Right before he could spiral, he felt a hand on his and, when he looked up, he saw his friend's reassuring expression.
« It's okay. Sometimes we love people who hurt us, it can happen and we cannot control what our heart dictates. »
Janus blinked multiple times, then couldn't bare his stare anymore and looked down again. Then at their joined hands.
He took another breath. « Remus and I were perfectly fine by ourselves, dare I say Remus's presence lit up my days more than I did his. Then one day he appeared on my doorstep and it took all I had in myself to not slam the door right on his face. He insisted he had left something behind and decided to retrieve it after two years. Needless to say … he made me very upset. »
He scrunched his face for a second.
« I had a knife in my hand … and, well, I accidentally injured myself while trying to prove a point. » he wiped further at his cheek and part of his eyebrow and forehead. « Thankfully it wasn't as deep as it seemed. »
« I'm really sorry all of that happened. » Logan grimaced. « I would gladly teach him a lesson if he ever comes in my sight. »
Janus snorted. « Will you tell him about Runaway stars? »
« I hate and love that sentence at the same time, but as much as it would be the most intently ironic topic ever, I do have mediocre experience in explaining about how to raise a child in an healthy environment. »
He nodded. « Yes, that would be an incredibly helpful topic. »
« For future reference, of course. »
« Ah yes, not like he ever needed that in the past. » Janus had waited for this kind of conversation to happen with someone for ages.
« I'm glad you told me when you didn't have to. » Logan eventually confessed. « I imagined something like this had happened, but I preferred you were the one to brush the subject first. »
Janus had always been grateful for that. « You're the first and only one so far. » they both smiled at that. « But yes, I just didn't want you to worry about this. » he said, pointing to his scar.
Logan didn't exactly control his next words. « Not that I can not worry for you nonetheless. »
No, don't do that to me.
« Sometimes it's like … I wished I could stay longer. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I like being around to help the two of you, be it with chores or having fun. Instead I keep rushing back and forth from home to work lately. »
Janus bit the inside of his cheek. « You're always welcome here if you want to distract yourself. Just be sure to take care properly. »
« I know I should. I never seem to have enough time in a day. »
« Then let us. » Janus started grinning and laid back against his seat. « Remus makes a killer combination of ice cream and we know all the best TV shows, I'm fairly sure you have a similar taste to mine. Oh my, I can't imagine you with a face mask- »
« Please spare me. » Logan pretended to be scared for his life as the other couldn't contain his laughter anymore.
« It's too late. The plan is already in motion. »
Their conversation derailed until wine settled in to make everything more light hearted.
Remus ventured in the room around 10, announcing he was tired by letting half of his body rest on top of his uncle's legs. He carried him towards his bed and, that time, both Logan and Janus had sat down next to him for the night's storytelling.
✾✾✾✾
« Gosh, this really is harder than it originally sounded like. » Patton had been rubbing Roman's back for the past minutes as he had lost all the energy to dance after the previous week's realization.
Dare he say, he was actually trying to avoid Virgil in any kind of way. His absence would've probably helped him far more to finally approach Emile, anyway. He was just helping him further, wasn't he?
« I feel awful. » the nebula admitted, a sour taste in his mouth. « One-sided feelings are difficult to accept, though not impossible to overcome. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel better with time, Ro. I assure you. »
« You're right, it sounds stupid. » he had never heard his voice so low.
Patton smiled sadly. « I know. But I do feel like, instead of inconveniencing yourself further, you should spend as much time as you are allowed to with him. » he looked back at him. «  And none says Emile automatically reciprocates. »
« Don't get my hopes up. »
« I was just saying. » Patton used his sing-song voice, the one that never failed to make Roman smile. « Either way, I'll always be here to be your moral support. »
« Believe me, you'll also always be a far better moral support than Zeta. »
« She isn't the best in that department. »
Both Patton and Roman looked up and the latter found Canopus sitting next to him.
« She thinks she looks out for people. She has good intentions, but she's still a little confused on her methods. » it was usual of her to defend Zeta, but Roman was glad she shared nothing of Ophiuchus' star's attitude.
« I think she should understand not every single one of us is under her supervision. »
Canopus nodded, lying against the column which was lining up perfectly with her back.
« Why has she left you alone? » Roman didn't mind her, she was actually one of the kindest stars he knew, but seeing her by herself made him skeptical.
« Did she hurt you? We would stand by your side in case! »
Canopus giggled and put up her hands. « It's okay. No, she's … talking to someone. » she pointed to Roman. « Your co-star? Virgil? »
That was the last straw-
« Don't you dare. » Patton pulled Roman back down on his seat, though the other was fuming with rage already. « Canopus, dear, why would Zeta converse with Virgil without you? »
« She said she needs to ask him a question. A rather personal question, something she didn't want me to know, I guess. » she looked into Roman's eyes with determination. « She vowed to never lie to me many, many years back. I'm sure she isn't saying anything about you. You know how she's all for honor, I don't think she would tell on you like that. »
As much as Zeta's ways had always been pretty drastic, Roman believed her, though the curiosity of what she might have been asking was eating him away.
More than being curious, for Virgil the experience was dreadful.
You suddenly saw one of the biggest stars in the room come up to you and ask about your feelings, like everyone in the room could've read you easily.
« This is going to sound weird. » she declared as she took Virgil's hand when they exchanged dancing partners. « But I need to know this out of you. Do you by any chance nurture any kind of romantic feelings towards Sirius A? »
Virgil felt dumbfounded. « No. » he quickly said, quicker than needed. « I do not. » he added, trying to mimic her poised nature.
« So, if there ever was another potential lover, you'd think the path would be clear for them? »
Was that hope in her voice? The tiniest tremble in a heated room.
« I definitely think so. » she glanced back in a direction unknown to Virgil.
« Thank you. » she whispered before disappearing back in the crowd; he stepped away from it, finding easily Emile's bright figure dancing and smiling like it was the first time with some stars unknown to him.
« Isn't he beautiful? »
Damn. That really was the richest night he had, huh?
Right next to him stood the Moon themselves; Remy was holding their glasses, letting their gleaming silver eyes rest for a while.
« Truly. » he agreed, letting the softness take him away.
« I couldn't ask for a more amazing dance partner every night. » Virgil wished he could share a piece of their happiness.
« I can only imagine. » he looked down, gaze fixed onto the Sun.
Remy titled their head. « You haven't danced with him yet? »
Virgil shook his head no and bite his lip. He so wished to do so.
« Then fear not, sweetie, I got your back. » they put back their sunglasses and carefully led Virgil to dance in swirls around the room, so that his next partner would have been Emile for sure.
« It's an experience to try. He's like, the most magnificent star I've ever met. »
« I know. » Virgil's tone was now more dreamy. « I've seen him everyday in front of me, I've been hoping to interact with him ever since I was little. »
« That sounds adorable, darling. Your wish is my command, humans use to wish upon stars, but it's truly only the Moon that hears them and guides them through their path. »
Remy noticed they were close to the partner change.
« One last question. What's your title? »
« Sirius B. I'm part of a binary star-system. » Virgil felt Remy's grip loosen on his hand and, slowly, he was let to someone else.
« Good luck, Virgil. »
Remy's nod was the last thing he saw before turning and finding Emile smiling down at him.
As for the Moon, he found himself dancing with Patton. « Ah! My favorite Nebula! »
« Hello Remy. » Patton giggled at Remy's extra antics. « I see you were talking to Virgil. »
« Yeah, the guy was totally scared. Like, girl, I know I'm a big deal, but you're starting to make me feel like royalty, that's going to feed my ego. » they let out a laugh, but composed themselves rather rapidly. « Say, he told me something that kind of left me perplexed. »
Oh, no.
Patton feared Virgil had disclosed his feelings, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been so ingenuous to reveal them to the Moon, of all presents.
« He seemed to express deep admiration for Emile. » was it really what he was thinking? « But he said he's in front of him? Like a childhood kind of admiration, you know? Someone you look up to ever since you're born. Weird, because last time I checked, Sirius B is in front of Sirius A. »
« Hold on. » Patton's eyes widened and the couple stopped in the middle of the room. « Are you telling me he hasn't been praising the Sun just because of all the stories about him, but because he has mistaken it for Roman? »
« Seems so. I wanted to let you know, in case there had been a misunderstanding. »
« Oh my gosh, Remy! » Patton pulled both of them out of the crowd. « That is fantastic news! »
« It is? Did I do a good job? Have I earned a gold star? » Remy smirked as the nebula laughed his heart out between his excitement and the pun.
They reached Roman in no time, who had decided to sit by himself during the entire night.
« You're not going to believe this, Ro! »
Patton took Roman's hands in his and smiled brightly as he narrated everything that had just happened with Remy's assistance when it came to what exactly happened between him and Virgil.
Despite now realizing that Virgil's feelings should have been directed at him, Roman's expression didn't differ.
« You do know that changes nothing, right? »
Patton's face fell. « Wh- »
« Pat, listen. Even if he'd mistaken his feelings for the wrong person, Virgil has still developed feelings for Emile, not for me. He isn't going to direct them towards me only because of a tiny mistake, it isn't how they work. »
Remy leaned over Patton. « Uh, I'm going to let you guys work this out, not because I'm jealous or whatever, promise. I don't wanna intrude. Hope you figure it out. » then they spared one last look for Roman. « But dude, why not tell him? He's still your friend, and he has only just met Emile, after feeding off of a false image of him. » then, the Moon shrugged. « But you do you, sir. Have a nice rest of the night. » with that, they disappeared.
« I won't force you, Ro. But do know that I support you. »
Roman didn't feel like having the same sharp daggers through his stomach again, yet a huge part of him was pulling him to his feet. With no other word, he let himself between the dancing couples.
And, of course, in no time he clasped hands with Zeta.
« Here for another lecture? »
« No, not tonight. »
Roman scoffed. « I thank you for blessing me. »
Silence fell between them as Roman caught sight of Virgil and the Sun. And their happiness. And how he had never made him smile so wide, how he had never made his eyes glimmer like that, how he hadn't gotten a single sparkle out of his cheeks the way he had had it on for the entirety of his dance with Emile.
Feeling under motivated, he looked away, deciding against intervening. Who was he to break his little dream?
Virgil really had been living his dream.
But everybody knows sometimes dreams tend to turn into nightmares.
« I'm glad I get to inspire the younger ones. » Emile made dancing feel natural. « Though I must ask you something as well, after seeing such adoration. » he looked in Virgil's eyes deeply. « Are you being true to yourself and honest with your feelings, Virgil? »
Agitation grew into him. « W-what would that mean? » he stuttered, his cover already blown.
« You don't have to lie about what you feel only because you fear the outcome. You already know that star in front of you is not me but it's Roman, you've known all along but you've masked it with me so Roman would have backed away thinking his interest was one sided. »
Virgil had never felt more read through in his entire life, like he had had the truth plastered on his face the entire time.
The guilt in his eyes told Emile he was spot on.
« Why is that so, little one? »
« Everybody knows what happens when two stars of a system collide they either become a single bigger star, or produce a black hole. » Virgil looked down. « I … I feared the outcome of our relationship. I figured if I made him step away, nothing like that would've happened. I didn't want to risk it. »
The Sun frowned. « You were ready to give up both of your happiness? »
« For the sake of potentially every star in this room? Yes. » he could taste his own sour words. « Nothing else matters. »
« Let me tell you something, Virgil. » Emile pulled them away from the crowd of dancers. « Usually, a black hole happens when there's a series of star collisions. A single star collision tends to merge the two stars into a supernova explosion. And yes, it is said that only one of the two will survive ultimately, but actually what survives is a mixture of the two. We call this a luminous red nova. This will only happen if your binary system ever experiences orbital decay. » Emil put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. « If you are careful about how you move and only meet during the sunrise and sunset dances, you're absolutely safe. Believe me. Okay? »
Virgil blinked a few times before stopping to bit his cheek and finally let a genuine smile creep on his face. « I do. I believe you. » he took a deep shaky breath, finally devoid of all the concerns in his mind. « Thank you. »
« Don't mention it, little one. Now, make me proud and go t- »
The Sun got interrupted by a loud crashing sound, like the sky had just broken up and started falling from the ceiling.
The two immediately looked behind themselves to find the most terrifying picture: every single star but one had been blown away, fallen to their feet as the only standing one started having a red aura around them. The luminous shade seemed to only grow wider and … warmer.
« Oh, Jupiter. This is not good. » Emile said as Virgil noticed Roman a few feet away from the standing star, staring wide eyed at them.
« What? What's going on? »
« It's Zeta Ophiuchi. » Emile slowly turned to Virgil, terror in his eyes. « It's turning into a Runaway star. »
✾✾✾✾
« So, what astronomers hypothesized up until now is that Zeta Ophiuchi had been previously part of a binary system itself, but its partner had exploded into a supernova, hurling Zeta at a very high speed through space. This is why they're called runaway stars. » Logan explained to Remus as he had been confused by the dramatic cliffhanger; he then turned to Janus. « That is fairly a very interesting way of portraying the beginning of a runaway star. I wonder what Roman had said to cause her to have that reaction. »
« Oh! I know! He rejected her. »
« Damn, » Janus furrowed his eyes at Remus. « You really don't like leaving some suspense here and there. »
« This is repay for when you told me you didn't know whether Roman was going to be okay. And he sure as hell doesn't sound okay now. »
Janus tucked his nephew into bed. « How about you sleep, you stinky little rat king? »
Remus whined. « You know that's my favorite nickname! I can't help but comply. » he suddenly lifted his hands. « Take me, arms of Orpheus. »
« It's Morpheus. » Logan pointed out.
« You're all boring. » he turned to the other side and, after half an hour, he gave out to his tiredness.
Ever since then, Logan started visiting whenever he could between shifts and free work days, sometimes he would stay for dinner, other times they would all watch movies together. Mostly Logan realized how he much had caught them in his heart and wanted to help around as much as it was possible for him.
Especially since that one other rather emotional night – again, in vino veritas – in which Janus had told him how hard it was to do everything on his own.
He obviously hadn't meant to ask Logan to do everything for him, but it was also a pretty important call for assistance and the astronomer was more than happy to fulfill the position.
« I apologize, » Janus had called from the hallway one evening. « Remus is having some trouble tonight, I'll be back in a minute, you can start watching anything if you'd like. »
It had been fairly twenty minutes since Janus had disappeared behind Remus's door: Logan couldn't help but be concerned, thus he got up, intending on asking whether some help was needed.
His purpose hadn't been to eavesdrop initially, really.
« Virgil had told Anguis that her stories were delightful, » Janus had told Remus as he stroked his hair. Remus's eyes were red and puffy. « He told her she should've pursued her dream and come to Earth to tell humans our adventures around space. He was the one to finally convince her, you know? She shined brighter than I had ever seen her. I was so happy she had made that choice. »
« I still am. I'm very glad we came to Earth. Even after everything that has happened, I couldn't imagine living million of years running through space without you. Without Logan. I'm happy to have fallen down here rather than be up there. »
« I still miss some stars, I miss Roman and Virgil very dearly … I had barely a chance to meet the others, but … I don't regret leaving them behind for this. »
Remus only stared at him, but seemed to nod and ultimately hug Janus tightly.
Logan couldn't make out what they murmured to each other, especially as he got lost in his thoughts.
So there were others?
« Oh- » he didn't notice Janus coming out of the room right after. « Oh f- Uh, how much did you hear? »
« Enough, I think. » Logan was still zoned out, which made him seem like he was completely uncaring.
« Well, uhm, you know how … stories you tell kids am I right? You pretend- »
« I'm an astronomer, Janus, » Logan begun, focusing on the other's eyes. « I know a lot about stars. I've seen you and Remus's faces literally light up. I also know stars can be people, you don't have to lie to me. » his tone was soothing, he still couldn't believe he had met another one. « I met one of you before, his name is Thomas. Thomas Sanders, to be specific. »
Janus's eyes widened. « The- The actor? »
« Exactly. I helped him out when he fell – right behind my house, to his luck – and as of now, we grew apart since he has been profoundly busy. We are still in contact, though. We actually meet up from time to time. »
« That … » Janus's expression was priceless, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. « I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling right now.
Logan loved it so much.
« Thomas is writing a movie script as of now. He's given one of the characters my name. »
« You. » Janus pulled Logan away from the hallway. « Are, as of now, the coolest human being of my knowledge. »
They sat down on the couch, letting the TV show be their background noise.
« Why, I'm rather flattered. »
« Okay. » Janus took the glass of wine he had left on the table earlier, before taking a small sip out of it. « I'm ready. »
« For? »
« My actual life story. »
Logan tilted his head and laid back, ready to let the other talk. It had already been a stressful night, why not stay on theme?
« My sister and I were formerly two shooting stars. We used to travel through space and meet a wide range of stars, galaxies and planets. It was wonderful. Then we fell on Earth by choice. We quickly adapted to its customs somehow. Anguis and I met Clyde, they fell in love and I put my feelings aside in their favor, since … I heard my love isn't exactly condoned here. » he took another sip.
« When I told you she fell ill, it was actually her star self shutting down. She ultimately became stardust under our very own eyes. Clyde feared Remus and I would end up the same way, since even my nephew's part star. And then we were left alone. » he opened his arms. « I hope this tale entertained you as well. »
Logan didn't say anything before surging forward and taking Janus in a tight embrace. He wasn't intending on letting go anytime soon, especially when he felt his friend's sobs on his shoulder.
« What if it really happens? W-what if I lose Remus in the span of a week? I couldn't bear it. »
« What if you don't? What if he spends a wonderful fulfilling life thanks to the possibilities you're offering him? What if you get to see him grow old and spend all your last moments knowledgeable that he is happy thanks to you? Because never in your life the thought of abandoning him ever crossed your mind. »
Logan tightened his hug. « You are a spectacular guardian, Janus. Take it from someone who knows how it feels to be neglected. You have nothing to fear, and it's normal to feel doubtful every now and then. » he loosened it after, so he could look him in the eyes. « Whatever happens, you can face it like you have always done. Okay? »
Janus nodded and muttered a low okay, right after he almost didn't register Logan giving him a forehead kiss.
« I hope you will feel more free to tell me anything that bothers you, now that I know. »
�� You're the only one I can turn to. » Janus smiled sadly, averting his eyes.
« Well then, » he took his hands and guided him on his feet. « I am honored to be at your service. Come, now. »
Logan took him to his bedroom so he could rest sooner, but as he helped him lay down, he felt something tug at his shirt. He turned and saw Janus's fingers laced on the fabric.
« Could you stay? » he drowsily asked, his voice barely audible like he was afraid to talk any louder, or at all.
Logan smiled softly and nodded; he proceeded to close the front door and turn off the lights for him. Afterwards, he laid next to the other and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
He was confused.
Had he always felt attracted by him because of the star's pull, or were his feelings lying to him? Why did he care so much? Why did he want to do anything in his power to ease their lives?
Why hadn't he stopped to caress Janus's face and look at him as soon as he'd fallen asleep? Why would he rather have him in his arms like before?
He wanted to hold his hand longer, let him know he was there in case he had a nightmare.
Still, Janus had simply asked him to stay.
That he was going to do.
After that night, Logan had chosen to give Janus some more space. A few days had passed when he received a very welcome message from one of his acquaintances.
He was quick to text Janus about it as well: Thomas had just asked him if they could meet up that week, which would've been the perfect time for them to meet as well.
They could have also shared their experiences and get other stuff off of their chests, stuff only both of them would understand. Plus he was sure it would've been nice to have someone like you to talk to for instance.
Not even a minute after, Janus wrote back to him, talking about how excited he would've been to meet up with them as well.
It all led to one particular afternoon at a café, Logan had just introduced Janus and Remus to Thomas, who they found out used to be a very small galaxy on the brink of  crashing and becoming a black hole. He lost all of his stars, but at least he saved himself.
He confessed he had a freckled pattern of them on his back.
It didn't surprise him how they clicked immediately.
Thomas talked about his project, this movie where he would talk to different aspects of his personality and work through issues about himself and grow as a person.
« The funniest bit about this is that I'm not human, thus I experienced the most childish dilemmas at an old age. » as Thomas chuckled, Janus was sure he had seen the galaxy's stars in his eyes twinkle as well.
« But enough about me, Logan told me you tell wonderful stories! » Thomas's eyes lit up immediately. « I also asked him a bit about you in general, and honestly dude. You give me major Disney villain vibes. »
Janus put a hand on his chest. « Why, thank you. »
Thomas chuckled. « I was thinking, would you like to contribute to a character I have in mind? He's pretty complex and I have a feeling your thinking would suit him amazingly. »
« Oh. » Janus's mouth hung open. « I … I don't know what to say- »
« Yes! Say yes, I want my character too! Can I have one? » Remus jumped out from his seat and leaned over Thomas as the other man giggled. « I want something gross! »
« I like your unusual thinking, kiddo. » Thomas rested his chin on his hand. « I do have an idea for a character correlated to intrusive thoughts … What's your favorite color, Remus? »
« Green! »
The former galaxy pulled out a notebook from his bag, taking down everything he had just learnt. « I can work with that. »
« Hey uncle, you think we could add Roman and Virgil too? Maybe even Patton? »
Janus cleared his throat, ready to say something similar to the fact that they shouldn't impose anything on Thomas, but was promptly cut off by the man himself as Logan told Remus he had had a wonderful idea.
« Oh? » a sly smile appeared on his lips. « Do tell me more about them? »
Janus scratched his neck and let his hand rest on his shoulder. « Uhm, it's kind of a long story, but it's about these two stars my sister and I met before falling on Earth. »
The former galaxy couldn't have seemed more intrigued: Remus came to the rescue, providing an insightful summary of the previous events, with Logan's assistance, justifying some space facts Thomas had forgotten during his life on Earth.
« You absolutely have to tell me more, dude. »
« As you wish, » Janus assumed his usual storytelling position on the café's seat, looking then both at his nephew and Logan. « Are you guys ready for the great finale? »
✾✾✾✾
In an instant, Virgil had found himself on the ground; Emile had thrown him down so the second blow of Zeta wouldn't have hit him as much, but the Sun kept running, aiming to protect the Moon with everything he had in his potential.
Virgil's every limb was trembling as he pulled himself up by the elbows, sliding forward until he reached something to sustain himself up: he looked around and saw the stupidest star in the galaxy doing the stupidest thing in the universe.
Roman was already standing, trying to coax whatever had caused Zeta to explode, without success.
« You! » she roared, as Emile and Remy started gathering stars around to let them out as fast as they could. « You are an hypocrite! After everything I've done for you! » there was another blow, to which Virgil reacted by doubling over again.
Roman stood still, which was permitted by his star's strength. « I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings Zeta! I can't fake them either! »
« Shut up! »
As another blow hit the room, Virgil tried to slither on the floor the closest he could to the couple: it was then that he understood Roman was numbing down Zeta's crashing energy by taking all the blows on himself.
That idiot.
Roman made a false move by averting his gaze to Virgil on his right, rather than focusing on the soon-to-be runaway star. Zeta followed it, feeling the burning of her insides even stronger than before.
In that single second of haziness, chaos was unleashed.
They all had less than a second to react: Roman ducked to his right, using himself as a shield to protect Virgil, still disoriented by the previous blow.
A single hit from her curve and Virgil would've been detached from their binary system and become a runaway star as well.
Emile rapidly pushed Remy out of the palace along with the other stars, fearing for their well-being as he already knew the consequences Zeta was going to cause.
When he turned back, hearing the Moon's “wait!” before closing the entrance, she had already been violently circulating in the room, everything she hit crumbled to pieces, her final goal being the two stars that had caused her infinite dolence.
She had spiraled out of control.
« Roman! » Emile tried to avoid the falling bricks of marble in every direction, shielding his eyes from the dust. « We cannot withstand her power any longer, we have to leave! »
Virgil looked rapidly between the two, shortly glanced at where Zeta was heading and ran in her opposite direction, taking Roman's hand in his as the Sun went along them.
The entrance had already been blocked, thus there was a single emergency exit remaining: the balcony.
The three ran down the hallways, scrambling to their feet here and there everytime Zeta crashed into the walls and the ceiling, the lights already out.
Everything went wrong when Roman let go of Virgil's hand and locked him and Emile out of the hallway, free to run to their salvation.
They immediately turned to him.
« What the fuck do you think you're doing? » Virgil punched the glass door, while Roman's expression displayed determination and slight regret.
« I'm the strongest star between all of us. I can keep her at bay as you guys get to a safe location- Please, just let me do this. »
« Are you out of your mind?! And leave you in this crumbling place where you'd never get out alive? » Virgil powered up, his eyes and fists becoming pure light and fire. He punched the glassed entrance further, breaking it instantly this time.
Roman's eyes widened and he watched Virgil tug him down by the shirt.
« Don't you get it? It's you, you fool. It's always been you. » Virgil's voice sounded between desperate and on the verge of crying, in need to let out all of the words he'd never been able to before. « I had a hard time admitting it to myself because I was scared but it's always been you I loved. »
Roman couldn't quite believe the words he was hearing, thinking he had to be hallucinating after all the hits taken by Zeta. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could register them, he then raised a hand to cup Virgil's cheek.
« And now I don't care anymore. I don't care, either we die because of a black hole or for a runaway star, it doesn't matter! » he breathed in, hiccuping in the middle of it, before looking back up at Roman. « I will be with you, because I love you. I love you and I'm not scared. »
Roman felt hysterical, letting out a muffled laugh between his sobs. « I love you too. » he took Virgil's face in both his hands and pressed their lips together almost desperately. And there he knew there hadn't been a collision he would've wanted more than that one.
As they parted, Virgil turned to Emile, who had been trying to reduce the blows for as long as they could have some more minutes.
« Go. You're way too important. »
Roman nodded. « We will handle it. »
The Sun spared them one last look, one of those that meant everything from gratitude to the deepest admiration.
When he was gone, Virgil took Roman's hand yet again, maybe for the last time, he thought, and they ventured back in the halls together.
They tightened their grips the more the crashes became unsustainable.
Looking at the ceiling and up ahead, the two understood there was no way for them to progress any further. Roman placed them in front of a window, then he called Zeta to them.
As she inverted her course to reach them, the two embraced each other.
« Scared? » Roman murmured, looking in his eyes.
« Not one bit. » Virgil's soft and imperceptible smile was exactly what Roman would've wished to see last of him.
A blinding light surrounded them, both powering themselves up to take in Zeta's hit and protect each other as best as they could.
Then, the final blow came.
And everything turned dark as a black hole.
It didn't take much for the Sun and the Moon to reconstruct a palace for the sunset dance of the same day, apart from a small eclipse to be formed as the two worked together.
For the first time in forever, they took much longer to show up.
Remy and Emile kept each other's balance as they checked their previous half destroyed palace; the remains kept perfectly gravitating in the same place as before, as though the signs left by Zeta hadn't mattered or damaged them at all.
There was hope, they couldn't deny it, the kind of hope that set yourself up for disappointment.
It was on their third time of jumping around bits of pavement that they decided to give up, sure that there wasn't anything they had left behind.
On the Sun's hallway, where everything was unusually almost untouched, compared to the rest of the building, Remy held Emile's hands as he helped him down a pile of debris.
Something glowed from under their feet, reflecting its light on Remy's sunglasses for a brief moment: they immediately looked down and crouched as their partner curiously asked what he had noticed.
Remy inspected the marble rocks, until he felt some that had definitely a warmer temperature.
Either that was where Zeta had last gone, or …
« Help me take these away. » the Moon's resolute voice made Emile immediately comply.
There it was.
There they were.
Surrounded by a faint purple light, Virgil and Roman laid on the floor in each other's arms, unconscious.
Remy and Emile exchanged looks before lifting a star each and walking away from the desolate place.
Virgil's eyes opened as Emile and Remy parted in each other's new wings, his foggy vision permitted him to make out barely Roman's blacked out face in the distance.
« Ro- » Remy noticed him shifting in their arms. « Did I? No- » he whined, but the Moon shushed him kindly and, just like that he nodded off to sleep again.
Roman didn't comprehend why he had woken up in the Sun's room.
He pulled himself up from the bed, noticing how the room's seemed to have been re-decorated.
Like they had completely changed places.
It hit him in that exact moment, when he saw his ballroom clothes completely different, the pounding headache barely healed.
He made it?
Did that mean …?
Before he knew it, he was running in the hallway.
And someone was running towards him, hugging him on sight.
« For all the galaxies, Roman! » Patton squeezed him tight like he hadn't seen him in a billion eons. « That was not the right time to play the hero! » Patton pulled away that much to look him in the eyes. « I am so glad you're alive. » he then said, his voice as broken as the window he last remembered.
Canopus was right along him, but, differently from him or the Sun and Moon's warm expressions, she looked melancholy.
Roman had always suspected she had feelings for Zeta.
He approached her and took her hand in his. « I'm sorry. It's m- »
« She did it to herself. » she admitted, before looking up. « It would've been worse if you lied to her only to please her. » she displayed a sad smile. « I would've hated you only on that occasion. It's okay, Roman. I'm going to be alright. »
Roman realized he had underestimated Canopus's strength, but he was grateful he did.
And now, the big moment.
« Where …? »
« Where you already know. »
Emile and Remy parted to let a path behind them, which was leading to two massive golden doors.
Roman paced towards them, wasting no time in fiddling with the handles as he pushed them open.
If he ever had to imagine what happened to stars when they died, he wished it was exactly like that.
That palace's terrace was much bigger than the one they last saw Emile on; Virgil was waiting, looking at the sunset take place in front of him in the distance, unaware of his system partner.
He only turned around as he heard Roman sigh in relief at his sight.
As much as he wanted to run to him instantly, he kept one hand on the parapet and simply looked fondly at him as Roman stepped towards him.
Roman took his free hand and leaned on the rails as well, taking one quick glance at the beauty of nature.
He made slow movements, trying to realize whether or not Virgil was real, before circling him with his arms around Virgil's waist.
« Still not scared? » he whispered it like a secret between them.
Virgil's cheeks had already lit up as soon as he exited the ballroom. « I won't ever be anymore. » he confessed, resting his forehead against Roman's.
And it was true.
At last, he wasn't scared to touch him anymore.
At last, there were no more secrets to be uncovered.
At last, they could dance together.
✾✾✾✾
Silence followed Janus's last words: he waited for reactions, but all he saw were the three's gazes fixed on the table, Thomas's mouth ajar, like he had just made the deepest revelation.
« I- » Thomas looked back at the storyteller. « I loved everything you said. I loved every single word you pronounced, holy stars! » he tried to compose himself. « This is incredible. Just- Listen, this is going to sound very sudden, but- Would you ever consider being a script-writer with me? We could work on this movie together, your way of talking- I'm sure it would be just as wonderful if you wrote all of that down. Your words are magnificent! »
Janus had met him to be able to talk to someone like him, and there he was, being offered one of the most astounding jobs in his life.
He was stunned.
Remus hit his hands on the table. « Absolutely! » he answered in his uncle's stead. « Please, join my uncle! »
« I- » Janus's face broke into a wide smile. « It can be arranged, yes. » he laughed slightly. « I would love to! » he almost didn't notice Logan's hand in his.
He didn't definitely notice the astronomer's affectionate gaze, feeling not only butterflies but an entire species of animals running in his stomach at the sight of Janus's excitement.
Oh, how he loved the way his face lit up, how his eyes glimmered bright even on a sunny day.
« Wonderful cause I have plenty of new ideas! I might even consider Remy and Emile somewhere … »
The conversation went on, but Logan wasn't able to hear anything else other than how melodious Janus's voice sounded all of a sudden.
Janus couldn't stop talking about it even after they arrived back at the apartment, barely able to exit his car while Remus had already gone up the stairs and opened the door to let himself in.
« I just- For the Moon, Logan! A scriptwriter! Beside a famous actor who used to reside in space! » he had taken Logan's hand in his own. « I'm simply blown away! »
They stopped at the beginning of the stairs.
« Gosh, this is all thanks to you. » Janus looked up at him, sparkles all around him as he smiled fondly.
Logan's heart couldn't have possibly been happier, finding the sight extremely endearing.
When had they started hugging? He was so lost in his gaze …
« Your eyes are always so bright and glowy and beautiful. »
Janus blinked twice, his expression shifting slightly.
« It's like I could recognize every single constellation in them. »
He raised his hands to rest them on Logan's cheeks and brush them with his thumbs. « I love you. »
Janus leaned in and kissed him. « I love you so much. » he whispered before the other kissed him back, slowly.
They exchanged more, resonating they could never have enough, until they heard someone call from above.
« Is Logan going to be my new uncle?! »
They parted and looked up, seeing an excited Remus run around in excitement.
« Holy sh- »
« I knew it. »
✾✾✾✾
It was the day of the premiere of Thomas and Janus's movie.
The two were sitting next to Logan and Remus on the front seats, delightfully waiting for it to finally air for everybody else in the world.
Remus watched Thomas unable to stay silent one minute, his uncles holding hands, as their engagement rings glimmered in the semi-dark room.
He thought back of what life was before Logan came around, before Janus had started telling him stories of the people he and his mother had encountered.
Never would he have thought he would have been sitting in front of a soon-to-be bestseller movie's first airing, nearly two years after, with a new relative he deeply loved and new friends like him.
He hadn't known nothing of the sky.
But now he did.
Remus took Logan's hand and both he and Janus looked down at him, a genuine and caring smile on their faces as Thomas's voice echoed with the opening of the movie.
« What is up everybody?! »
He finally knew everything he needed to know.
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kneamet · 3 years
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Reader and Freddie Page have three sons. Freddie is very proud of the boys. He is a good father. It's Christmas. Reader is crying in the bedroom. She wants to run away with boys from her husband, but she knows her sons love their father. Freddie comes to her. He says he knows she is thinking of running away. He promises her that if she does, he won't rest until he finds her.
Trigger Warning: kidnapping, obsession, yandere.
Word Count: 
Character: Freddie Page/reader
Summary: You've been living in the house with your husband, Freddie, and your three sons for a long time. However, it's a pity that they don't know that you want to run away
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POV Your
You didn't like Freddie Page. Although that was an understatement, because sometimes, but lately more and more often, you felt a fierce hatred for him. You didn't understand him. He was the exact opposite of you, and he forced you to do it.
But you knew you had to restrain yourself. That you should break off your "friendship" early and do not do it, since Freddie needs a huge psychological and moral support. You really tried to help him. Understand his feelings. However, in the end, all your thoughts and common-sense motives were stuck in a post. You didn't know what to do with it or how to help him.
Trying to get him out of the ' 40s and the war that Freddie went through with a lot of hard work, you didn't realize that you were bumping into Page's hard back, because you didn't need to understand him. Including at the very beginning and pay attention to it. Why did you go to the damn pub in the first place? I wouldn't have run into trouble and an unbearable friend in the person of Freddie.
And it seemed like everything started out fine, you could even say that it was good. However, after the support and the fact that he told you everything was getting worse. Again, you shouldn't have mentioned who you work for in your conversations.
You didn't get approval for your work from anyone. Including from Freddie. Apparently, he didn't want to accept that a delicate and delicate girl like you would do such things. But for you, it was normal.
Since then, Paige has taken too much care of you, even though you've rarely crossed paths. Unless it was just this obsessive presence and behavior on Freddie's part that really scared you.
How can you, a free woman who has achieved her own goal, be told anything? And then you didn't care about him or his feelings. You were just saying what you had to say. After all, you're not a car or a pet, you need freedom of action.
***
"...So you get the point, right? I tried to do it, but in the end... " you tried to listen to Freddie's never-ending chatter about the war. It was alien to you, you didn't want to listen to his speeches.
You sighed softly and looked at the door that was open. So wanted her to have gone from here. I wanted to. Yes, and this obsession. Since when does he have to know your schedule for the day? You always thought it was suspicious, but you didn't show it. I didn't want to spoil his mood.
"...So that's it..." without stopping, he continued, without stopping waving his hands. That was one of his tricks. He was so emotional."...When the Captain called me to his side..."
And you sighed softly again. No, it will never stop.
***
But now. You sighed softly. You couldn't change anything now. The Freddie of the new age is not at all like the old Freddie, who, although he was eerily obtrusive, at least supported you.
And the new Freddie... You sighed softly again, lowering your head. The new Freddie was terrible. Everything in the new age was terrible, except for your sons.
You gave me a weak, forced smile. They were the only ones who made you feel better in this prison. Your three favorite boys. The best and the cleanest.
Roger, Arthur, and Tommy. Their dark hair was passed down from their father and their beautiful soft eyes from their mother. They were all so different, but so smart beyond their years. Roger, for example, loved to draw and wanted to devote his whole life to art. You always told and encouraged him to ensure that he continued to draw and didn't give up. Arthur liked to design different buildings of houses. Tommy, your youngest son, very much and you would even say that a very long time ago-I saw myself as a military man. He was always your husband's favorite. Your face twitched involuntarily at the thought of Freddie being your husband.
You didn't want to think about it. For you, he has always been and always will be your captor, which is unlikely to ever let you go, and it was sad. You so wanted to break free, to see the white light again and enjoy the clean and fresh air. But Freddie never let you out into the street. Simply put, he almost strangled you with his annoying concern.
It was so stuffy. So unpleasant and suffocating. He made you just some kind of flawed girl that even a simple man's job can not do. Although that's what you used to do.
You didn't exactly call what Freddie did a kidnapping. Although he did not bring you to him by your will. Simply put, he made you, which always made you really angry.
You wanted to escape. Run away from this suffocating man, from this weather, and live a wonderful life again. That would be it... naturally. And you'd take your favorite boys with you, too. The only pity is that they loved their father too much.
Suddenly, a door creaked softly behind you. It was wooden and though new, but Freddie was never smart enough to lubricate it. He didn't seem to get tired of the squeaks. What not to say about you.
It wasn't just your husband who made you marry him that annoyed you, but the damn house you spent so many nights in trying to comfort Paige. But at this moment, and for the past few years, he seemed disgusting to you.
Although at first you thought Freddie was cute, but only if he looks good. Inside, morally, he was terrible and disgusting.
***
POV Freddie
He loved you. I loved him with all my heart. With all that heart that was literally sewn at the seams with a thin thread and was previously ready to burst from injustice in his direction.
Freddie never understood why he was so unlucky in love. After all, with Esther, his former girlfriend. He pursed his lips. A disgusting girl. And why had he treated her so tenderly and soothingly? He didn't understand.
Although Paige knew that she was just a lecherous girl, that she was ready to go to bed with anyone, just with money beckoning. Like a dog. And it was disgusting. Very disgusting.
She didn't even help him. Never. I never tried to comfort him, or even listen to him. But here you are, you were just a goddess in his opinion. The goddess who helped him get rid of his diseases and pens. You were the first to help him and listen to him, trying to understand the essence of his nightmares. It wasn't for nothing that you spent so much time with him in this house before you were married.
***
"Are you sure you're okay?" the woman asked, raising her right eyebrow and slightly arching it in a small bump, looking from her patient's card to Freddie himself.
Page pursed his lips, closed his eyes, and clenched his sweat-soaked hand into a tight fist. He hated to talk about it. It was so disgusting. Yell about your problems to some other person who really doesn't even care about you.
Freddie has felt this many times. He knew that his psychologist didn't care about his problems, and she just wanted to throw the former shell-shocked soldier out of her expensive and rich house as soon as possible.
"I'm sure, Mrs. Rogers."
***
But now. He felt great right now. He had his favorite girl, who was also happy for him and loved him as much as he loved her.
Oh, how he adored her. He adored her cleanliness, social behavior, and moral support. Freddie knew she was perfect. An ideal, a beautiful lady, comparable only to a Goddess.
And now it was bitter to look at his beloved. The way she sits on the edge of the bed in a fit of anger, anger and sadness, thinking about something bad.
What could it be? Quick thoughts flashed through Freddie's mind, and he ran at a brisk pace across the room he shared with his wife.
It wasn't very big. And the interior was as simple as an instruction manual for assembling a cabinet. An ordinary bed, which was of medium hardness, on which were white sheets, which were currently covered with a dark blue canopy. A small nightstand next to the bed, a dark wood wardrobe that contained all of his clothes, and a small shelf with books and a TV. It was hard to get, but Freddie was still able to buy it back from his friend for a decidedly inexpensive price.
"My lady..." Freddie murmured softly, kneeling in front of his beloved. He couldn't resist looking at her beautiful face again. Elegant, inviting eyes, his beloved lips that responded with great excitement to his voluptuous kisses, soft hair.
"Lady, I know everything," Freddie suddenly spoke loudly, making his beloved understand her gaze. She looked at him with disbelieving, sheep-like eyes that were wide open.
"W-what do you mean?" haltingly, after a little crying, she asked Page his favorite, to which he only frowned. Why is his beloved lying to him? "I don't understand."
"I know you'll think about running away," Freddie said calmly, resting his head on your thin knees. He talked about it as if he were talking to his friends about the weather. It was frightening. "I know, I know everything. I know. Don't take me for a fool," the man smiled to himself as he stroked your thighs. "But know this, my lady. I give you a promise: if you try this, I swear I will stop at nothing to find you," Freddie said with a strange, obsessive tenderness in his voice.
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rabbitsparklez · 4 years
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Explaining the red rocks + Eugene’s and Rapunzel’s TRUE worst fears 
I was rewatching Be Very Afraid and I developed a headcanon about the red rocks and characters' worst fears. 
I am not a writer of this show, nor is my logic infallible, but I put together my theory on how the red rocks read people, and the possibility that they can misread people
This is my longest post yet, so grab some snacks.
Rapunzel said that her worst fear was the things Cassandra could do to Corona, and losing her as a friend, but unlike everyone else, she didn't actually see visions of her fears and wasn't screaming in terror, as Eugene observed and pointed out. Maybe the rocks only work when the victim chooses to acknowledge their fear, and if they choose to avoid thinking about their fears, the rocks won't sense their feelings.
In the previous episodes, we see that Rapunzel is obviously trying to push her thoughts about Cassandra to the back of her mind so that she can focus on her life in Corona. She's clearly still upset about it all, but she has always had the tendency to be optimistic and cheerful, even when she's upset or scared. Rapunzel chooses not to acknowledge her feelings, but others do, like Varian and Lance. Of course Varian was having visions of losing his father because of his recent traumatic experience, and he chooses to acknowledge that fear, having every reason to be afraid. Not to mention, being a teenager, Varian must think about his emotions and feelings a lot, and the rocks could easily sense that. What would be giving him nightmares and swarming his mind every day more than losing his father again? Throughout the episode, Varian had tried to keep his mind off of that so he could focus on helping Rapunzel, and mostly it worked. He didn’t see anything related to his fears until he and Rapunzel reached the chamber where the rocks originated, and he had to use the amber to eliminate their power. Varian was scared of the amber because he knew what it was capable of doing, and it was in that moment that he started seeing his fears. We see another example with Lance. He showed that he had stage fright and fear of clowns and spiders, and while he didn't openly admit that, he didn't try to push it back into his head either. When Lance decided to stop letting his fears overcome him, they shrunk and ran away, because he no longer had that fear. It appears that the person doesn't need to confess that they are afraid, but all they need to do is allow themselves to be afraid, and let those negative emotions stick in their minds.
Realizing this, I became very incredulous about Eugene's worst fear.
 The episode said that it was a cowlick, but......No. No way. Why do I think that Eugene's biggest fear wasn't a cowlick if that's what he saw? Because he allows himself to make a fuss about the way he looks. He acknowledges the fact that he hates imperfections in the way he looks, and doesn't try to push that away. His true, deep emotional feelings, on the other hand, are a different story. A while back, @timid-izzie wrote an essay that went over the possibility of him having post-traumatic trauma and the fact that he tends to hide his own fears and negative emotions, covering them up with humor. Eugene doesn't acknowledge his negative emotions and fears, and I think, similar to how Rapunzel wasn't seeing visions of Cassandra, the rocks didn't sense any of Eugene's greater fears because they are pushed into the back of his mind. Deep down, Eugene has very unbearable fears, but pushes them so far back that he doesn’t realize how badly he has them. 
A few people have compared his worst fear, being a cowlick, to the scene from “The Quest for Varian”, where he mentions the fact that he had a cowlick before Rapunzel hit him with the frying pan and it was fixed after the blow. Basically, the fact that he doesn’t have a cowlick signifies the fact that he met Rapunzel and became a better person. I agree that this theory makes sense, and it doesn’t exactly disprove what I’m saying, because the cowlick is also related to imperfections.The writers wanted a cheap way to brush him out of the picture so they can focus on Cass, so why not use vanity as an excuse to do so? With or without the significance of the frying pan, the rocks could easily sense Eugene’s discomfort regarding imperfections. But they only show his reflection, not anything related to the origin of having that fear. The rocks sense his “fear of cowlicks” as a vanity-associated thing, because they can’t read the rest of the story. They don’t know why he hates cowlicks, but only the fact that he does. Considering this, I believe that Eugene has more deep fears than just the cowlick. 
What are the rest of his worst fears, then? There are many things that Eugene has likely had negative feelings about that might be a lot worse than what he convinces himself to believe. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. He spent a good 23 years trying to find himself and escaping his identity, having no family, no friends, no home, and no money  - until he started stealing. There are many things that can go wrong there. When he grew older, he made a lot of enemies and must have gotten into a lot of conflicts. He worked with and for very bad people who wanted to use him, and almost married an abusive and manipulative girl who only wanted him for his thieving abilities (Not to mention was way to young and naive to get married). Several notably traumatic things happened to him only in the last three years. In one day, he was sentenced to be hanged, witnessed the abuse of the woman he loved, and was stabbed and killed. No matter how much you think of others, there’s no person who can thoroughly escape such horrific events that happen to yourself. I think that Cassandra's taking the Moonstone was just as traumatic for Eugene as it was for Rapunzel, but in a different way. Remember that Eugene’s ancestors dedicated their entire family legacy to destroying that stone because it killed people, including his own mother. The Moonstone is directly the reason he was sent to an orphanage, became a notorious criminal, and received a death penalty. He forbade Rapunzel from entering the castle because he was so afraid for her safety that he didn’t want to risk losing her. Minutes after he built up the courage to let her grab it after remembering his faith in her, Cassandra took it like a piece of candy and ran away with it. He turned his back on the woman he loved to protect her and felt terrible about it, only for the stone to be stolen by someone who resented and wanted to kill her. Later, the unseen events or “No Time Like the Past” apparently forced him to stop resenting her because “friends don’t leave friends behind” (which, let’s face it, completely abolishes Flynn Rider’s persona and I hate it). But no matter what happened in that episode, I highly doubt Eugene immediately came to forgive Cassandra. The objective was to show that Cassandra was still redeemable, but it was poorly written, as a comment in “Flynnpostor” about Flynn Rider leaving people behind basically confirmed that either the events of “No Time Like the Past” never happened, or that he came back to his senses. Either way, there is no way Eugene’s (completely justified and understandable) resentment towards Cassandra just disappeared. 
It should be clarified that Eugene was not completely okay in season 3. He wanted to support Rapunzel and keep her hopes up, but logically, he would have serious problems deep inside.
 We get an example of this in "Return of the King", when he's irritated at Edmund for suddenly wanting to be part of his life after abandoning him. I've seen a lot of people point fingers at Eugene and call him rude for his hostility toward him in that episode, but honestly, I don't blame him. That was the first time he'd seen him since "Destinies Collide", and in his defense, Edmund didn't exactly welcome him with loving fatherly arms. When Eugene met his father, the first three things he had to do were accept his tragic backstory and identity crisis, dedicate himself to destroying the moonstone, and break his beloved girlfriend's heart. In actuality, Edmund is really a sweet and loving father, but Eugene didn't see that at first and it's not his fault. It wasn't until he found out that his father had kept track of him by reading his favorite books and bringing his childhood toys home that he realized just how much his father thought about him. In the finale, he admitted his resentment and confusion towards him, but that he had come to understand his motive. Until that cursed episode “No Time Like the Past”, he was very worried about Rapunzel’s behavior and the fact that she was thinking about Cass despite the fact that she almost killed her. The point is, Eugene is not immune to having emotionally painful feelings, and the writers didn't fool us when they claimed that his worst fear was a cowlick. It's an absolute pity that in a show where one of the morals is "you should never bury your feelings", one of the main characters has no story whatsoever relating to his very much real trauma.
If my theory about the rocks misreading peoples' feelings is correct, based on my observations, I don't think Rapunzel's worst fear is what she claimed it was either.
 It was not losing Cassandra as a friend. You might say I'm contradicting myself by saying this, because my original point for this theory was based off of that, but remember that Rapunzel generally does not express negative feelings. I believe that the rocks couldn't read Rapunzel's fears because she didn't allow herself to think about her fears. Perhaps losing Cassandra as a friend is one of her fears, but not her worst fear. Although she thought a lot about her, she thought in a hopeful sense rather than a miserable, negative sense.
In “Cassandra’s Revenge”, Rapunzel seemed to be completely over Cassandra, wanting to settle down and appreciate her surroundings. I’m not going to elaborate, but I’ve always regarded Cassandra’s and Rapunzel’s relationship as unhealthy, and it was especially bad for Rapunzel to keep wanting Cass to be back because Mother Gothel, her former abuser, was the motive. I saw this episode as a way to show that she was over her - she even painted over the pictures of her on her wall. But afterward she still seemed to care a lot about bringing her back, and even sang a song about wanting to do anything for her (which I don’t believe, seeing that she would use an incantation on her to save Eugene, showing that she wouldn’t give him up for her). Part of me sees this as another poorly written, contradictory scene that tried to cram in Cassandra’s potential to be redeemed, because, for her own mentality, Rapunzel should be over her. But I don’t think all of that was thought out in that way. Rapunzel still continued to pine onto Cassandra and bringing her back, but that came from her compassion for her rather than a deep and serious emotional feeling. The entire “Cass is still redeemable” arc was aimed to show that Rapunzel has compassion for everyone and won’t give up. It was not a matter of having a truly passionate fear of losing Cassandra, and I highly doubt that that was Rapunzel’s worst fear.
Similar to Eugene, I believe she has certain trigger fears that are buried deep down inside of her.
 I'm specifically thinking about "Rapunzeltopia", when Matthews controlled her dreams. According to Matthews, the things that he showed her were her worst nightmares. She saw Mother Gothel restraining her, Corona acting hostile, her fear of touching the rocks, and.... Cassandra. But it was not in a "afraid to lose her as a friend" sense. Cassandra was attacking her and blaming her for her problems. She tried to kill her and take revenge for getting her arm burnt. These visions must have had a more valid representation of Rapunzel's fears than the rocks did, because Matthews had entered and taken control of her mind. The rocks (again, if this is correct) merely read peoples' visible feelings; Matthews went inside her head and brought out her traumas, her true fears. A lot of people seem to think that Rapunzel has completely forgotten about Mother Gothel and what she did to her, but that is not true. I believe that Rapunzel’s fears are masked by her positive attitude, and this precisely was why the rocks couldn’t see through her, similar to Eugene. When she saw Mother Gothel keeping her in the tower, she was chained up. There was one time ever when Mother Gothel chained Rapunzel up. That was the day Rapunzel found out her life was a lie, was almost buried in a dungeon for life, saw the love of her life get murdered before her eyes (and might have partially thought it was her fault), and experienced other dramatic changes in her life - especially the part about losing Eugene. Throughout the series, Rapunzel has shown a particular weakness whenever she thought she would be separated from Eugene or lose him. He is her first friend, aside from Pascal, and an infinitely close and beloved one. He was the first person to ever show compassion towards her and care about her, which was the thing she never received from Mother Gothel. Whether she’d realized it or not, she had always craved that sort of attention and love, and Eugene gave it to her. She holds him especially close, not just as her lover but as a friend, because he repaired her life. Whenever his life was at risk, Rapunzel became especially desperate: He was what sparked her to use the Reverse Incantation on Hector to defeat (and possibly even KILL) him. Similarly, she used another potentially dangerous incantation to fight for him when Cassandra threatened to kill him (proof that she would not give anything for her). She stopped and dropped in the middle of a fight with Zhan Tiri because she saw him lying on the ground, possibly thinking he was dead (True, anyone would be concerned for someone they love if they saw them on the ground, but I can’t help but notice they were in a very similar position that they were when he died) Eugene has always been Rapunzel’s #1 priority, and I have a strong feeling that besides loving him above all else, she has the fear of revisiting that traumatic moment in which she lost him. Maybe she even felt responsible for letting that happen to him, especially since Mother Gothel made everything her fault.
I believe, among the other things she saw in that episode, Rapunzel's true worst fear was that day - that fateful day in which she found out her life was a lie and lost the one person who truly loved her.
Well I might be seriously overthinking this and be completely wrong, but from my POV it makes sense. People take trauma in different ways, depending on how seriously affected they are, who they are as a person, and their capacity to rise or fall from their demons. I truly believe that despite their natural optimism and resilience, both Rapunzel and Eugene have deeper fears and traumas than what is focused on in the show. We know as a fact that this show isn't afraid to let the audience know that characters suffer mental afflictions, such as Frederick and Varian, so why wouldn't characters like Rapunzel and Eugene, who have been through so much, suffer the same?
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and if not I thank you anyway.
Note:
I’d love to hear what you think, but please, if you have any questions or comments regarding this theory of mine, do not message me with the chat. I will not be active on Tumblr for a while. (You may use my ask box)
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thanksjro · 4 years
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More Than Meets the Eye #16- All the Greatest Love Songs are Secretly About Heroin
Dang, been a minute since we got into the series proper. What all happened again?
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Oh. Right. That.
…So anyway, let’s brush up on our Ultra Magnus history!
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There was a massive fight on top of a spaceship. Swoop was there, Impactor was there, Overlord was there, Heretech was there, Killmaster was there- shit was lit. Ultra Magnus was doing his thing, though it looks like this was before he got LASIK done, because he’s got a visor on.
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Then Ultra Magnus got shot in the gut and fell off the spaceship. It was so scary his hand started spasming.
Later on, we return to a place we’ve seen before, albeit from the Decepticon side.
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Magnus, your badge isn’t up to code, my guy! Better get that sorted, before your current self comes out of his medically induced coma, invents time travel, and comes to beat you up.
Also, Pious Maximus? What is your friggin’ DEAL, bro? What the actual hell is your deal?
All the K-Cons start falling out of the sky, and Magnus orders everyone to take cover, as a familiar-looking bomb that literally has his name written on it lands bang on target. It’s such an intense experience, his hands start spasming.
Later still, Magnus is in the middle of dealing with the Simanzi Massacre, and it looks like his visor’s seen better days. Hopefully it was a reading pair, and not something he actually needed to see. Rotorstorm is also there, because his character apparently only exists to suffer. Magnus and his team rise from the muck and the mire, coming ashore right on top of a Cybernought, which promptly fries Magnus with its hand lasers. He gets so crispy, his hands start spasming.
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For anyone having trouble parsing the scraps of rended metal that used to be Rewind of Lower Petrohex here, allow me a moment to break him down. That cylinder in the lower left corner is his camera, the wire coming off of it is where it plugged into his head, and that squarish chunk with the clean, round hole in it is probably part of his helmet. The other chunky bits I couldn’t tell you what they are, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that Chromedome absolutely put the dog to sleep with that blast last issue.
Inside the Lost Light, Swerve’s trying to be a nice guy by putting on some tunes for Ultra Magnus, who got his spark shot by Overlord last issue, but all it’s really done is make Ratchet get distracted.
Magnus is in a bad way, as was established by First Aid last issue, and it doesn’t seem like Ratchet’s having any more luck than had been predicted. Swerve’s here for emotional support, and also because he’s got medical training. Tailgate’s here for cleanup duty. Drift’s off in the corner making snide remarks about the medical equipment, probably because he’s mad his legs are still off.
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Drift looks like he’s been chiseled out of stone here, and I kind of love it. Forget softboi uwu Dwift, I want more of this guy who’ll bite into a teddybear cactus and not even flinch.
Agustin Padilla’s back on the scene for this issue, and he’s decided that everyone’s going to be elongated in as many ways as he can manage in 20 pages. Tailgate and Swerve? Tallest they’ll ever be in the series. They’re as tall as Cyclonus, and he’s a fucking space jet. Someone’s got a chevron? You better believe that thing’s scraping the gotdang ceiling. Drift’s kitty-cat ears almost never fit into the panel, because those suckers are LONG today. It’s like they’ve all been put through a taffy-puller. There are a lot of little quirks with this art, but this is one I can kind of get behind, if only because it’s so distinctive.
Getting back to the story, Drift’s talking about the Death Clock here- no, not the animated band from Adult Swim, but an actual medical device that can calculate the moment a shrinking spark will give out, down to the second. It only measures the lifespans of the terminally ill, so Swerve hasn’t accidentally given himself even more depression by sticking his little hands in the shiny light without a thought as to what the device he’s messing with might do.
Ultra Magnus has about ten days to live. This makes Tailgate incredibly upset, because he, unlike everyone else on the ship, hasn’t experienced the horrors of war and death.
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Ratchet’s right, though. There’s certainly a chance that Tailgate, who’s been shown to react to stressful situations by having panic attacks to the point of blacking out, could have a very severe response to what is his first major catastrophe. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder usually isn’t an immediate development, but being proactive about your mental health is never a bad thing if you can swing it. Hell, with how bad the Overlord situation was, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rung was booked solid long enough for Tailgate to actually have time to develop PTSD.
Rodimus is on the intercom to address the situation that just took place, because man oh man, was it a doozy. He intends to hold an inquiry to figure out just what the hell happened and how Overlord got on the Lost Light to begin with. As he tells everyone what’s going to happen, our focus shifts to Chromedome, who’s standing on the outside of the ship, staring off into space.
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Man, I hope Chromedome’s on the front half, because this is a fucking grim scene to witness.
Skids comes out, having been looking for Chromedome. Trailcutter of all people pointed him in the right direction- which I suppose makes sense, given that he was on the Ethics Committee on Kimia. He probably would know Chromedome and Rewind decently well by this point.
Chromedome turns around to show off his mourning black Autobot badge, freshly photoshopped onto his chest for our viewing pleasure. It’s especially blatant when contrasting with Padilla’s rougher linework style.
Skids asks our brand-new widower how he’s holding up, and Chromedome says he’s fine, which is funny, because the other day he was all:
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Chromedome has a moment of reminiscing, playing connect-the-dots with the stars like he and Rewind used to do all the time.
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Skids, they were married for 250,000 years.
Skids might actually have been one of the worse people to have found Chromedome, if this is what he’s going to say, and then immediately leave. He’s so awkward and clearly uncomfortable and doesn’t want to be there. Does he feel weird about Chromedome knowing more about him than he himself does? Does Skids not have access to any of his memories related to mourning? Geez, I hope nobody needs him to help them through a difficult emotional time for a good while, because this was painful to watch.
Back inside the ship, Rung’s come over to Rodimus’ room to see what all the crashing and banging is about. It would seem our dear captain’s upset, and has decided to work through his frustrations by destroying his private quarters, perhaps in an attempt to summon the wrath of Ultra Magnus, thus saving him through the power of his own mess-induced rage. Rung comes to sit with Rodimus, I guess giving up his search for Chromedome, and the two of them discuss Magnus. Specifically, they discuss Magnus’ memos, and how much Rodimus despises receiving them, because they make him feel like he’s not doing his job right. He stopped even opening them, they made him feel so bad.
If you subscribe to the headcanon of Rodimus having ADHD, you could potentially read this as being a manifestation of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. As it is within the story proper, Rung’s decided to ignore this tidbit of information to get at the more pressing issues, like why exactly Rodimus felt the need to wreck his room.
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This is about the point where the art for Rodimus becomes roughly 90% spot blacks, and it’s highly suggested that Rung get out while the getting’s good.
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Oh, well this is going to be awkward.
Later on, we’re at the funeral. There’s five coffins, though not all of them actually contain a body. Everyone’s here to see their friends off, even Cyclonus, who was invited to the wake by Chromedome himself. Awful nice of him to do that, given their history.
The lineup in the front row is a bunch of chatterboxes, and they prove that very quickly as Swerve, Skids, and Whirl theorize on the contents of Brainstorm’s mysterious briefcase, which is also here at the funeral. Swerve swears himself to the duty of finding out what’s inside, on threat of death should he fail.
A short time skip is had, and Rodimus is revealed to be wearing his ceremonial funeral cape and terrifying vampire arm spikes to this shindig, as he sends Tripodeca, who is surely the most beloved of all Autobots, off with as many kind words as he can muster in the time they have. Everyone says goodbye, and we get to Rewind’s turn. Rodimus has a moment of pause, as Rung gives him the most withering look I believe he will ever produce in the entirety of the run of MTMTE/Lost Light.
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Rodimus concedes to giving Rewind the credit for saving everyone from Overlord posthumously, as well as Fortress Maximus and Chromedome, labelling himself as a failure on that front. Chromedome comes up to the podium for a few words on the love of his life.
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…well, it’s been a long day for everyone, I suppose.
Chromedome sits back down, right next to Brainstorm because they’re besties, as Brainstorm stares him down like he knows something Chromedome doesn’t.
Probably because he does.
After the funeral, Brainstorm pays Chromedome a visit, finding him in the middle of spring cleaning. He’s taking all of Rewind’s stuff and shoving it in a box to be destroyed.
Does it count as foreshadowing if it’s like a page before the reveal? I guess so.
Chromedome is trying to ease Brainstorm’s mind about the inquiry Rodimus is conducting, saying that the guy ought to talk to Drift before he gets TOO antsy about spilling the beans- perhaps a touch too late there, Domey- but Brainstorm isn’t here for any of that.
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So you’re saying Chromedome/Dominus isn’t going to be endgame.
Turns out Chromedome’s been collecting dead spouses, and he wasn’t even aware of it. When faced with this inherent truth about his personal relationship with grief, Chromedome only has this to say:
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Time for a pop quiz!
When the burden of life is too much to bear, what is an addict most likely to do? Is it:
A) Quit cold turkey
B) Seek help for their addiction
C) Relapse
If you answered C, you get a gold star, and a harsh reminder that addiction is a fucking monster that will devour your life and meaningful relationships, leaving you with nothing but itself for company.
Chromedome has had a problem with injecting since he got good enough at it to get his own set of finger needles, and he’s been completely dependent on other people to get himself to even close to stopping the habit. His character bio on the crew roster page has, up until this point, outright claimed this.
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Now Rewind’s gone, and there’s really nothing stopping him from just taking that pain away. Brainstorm certainly can’t do it, though not for lack of trying.
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Chromedome says that he won’t go through with his plan, but Brainstorm knows he’s lying, because they’ve done this song and dance before. At this point, asking Chromedome to not inject is just a courtesy to the deceased.
No wonder Chromedome invited Cyclonus to the funeral- probably figured why the hell not, since he wouldn’t remember it anyway.
Brainstorm gives Chromedome a data slug- the last one Rewind ever made, shot through the door just before it sliced Chromedome’s arm off, and found by Fort Max. Brainstorm leaves, probably to go prepare himself for that awful, hollow feeling he’ll be getting the next time he sees Chromedome.
Over in the shuttle bay, Rodimus is addressing the crew, Chromedome is retconned into being Toxin because he’s not supposed to be in this scene, and Drift is named as the sole conspirator in the Overlord debacle. Rodimus just starts tearing into Drift, and while he does, we cut over to the medibay, where some zombie nonsense is going on.
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Golly, seems like there’s some flavor of undead on the Lost Light every other week, doesn’t it?
Rodimus strips Drift of his Autobot badge and tells him to get the fuck out.
Back at Chromedome’s room, he’s decided to take a gander at what Rewind left behind, plugging the data slug into the computer.
Man, this part always makes me a little weepy.
I can’t do Rewind’s final message justice, not in the choppy format I present here- which is perhaps a bit ironic, given the nature of how it’s presented. In the final moments he had, Rewind pieced together a plea for Chromedome to love himself, and to remember that he was- and still is- loved. He shared his own fears of them being apart, and how he knows how hard the coming days will be. He begged Chromedome to be kind to himself, because he- whether he believes it or not- has grown from the person he was in the New Institute.
As this message plays out, we see Drift swarmed by furious Autobots, who get violent as he makes his way off the Lost Light, only to be helped back to his feet by none other than Ratchet, before climbing into a shuttle, surely never to be seen again.
Shane McCarthy slipped Roberts a twenty to set up a slowburn between his OC and Ratchet all the way back in MTMTE #4. This is the start of the pining portion of their relationship.
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God, just- there’s a reason Roberts has claimed this issue as one of his best, and it’s this fucking message. Please, if you somehow have gotten to this post without reading the comics- well, first, how, and second- go and READ THEM. I promise it’s worth it, they’re beautiful and funny and full of heart, even when everyone’s being a dick to each other.
Rewind leaves Chromedome with one final piece, which probably didn’t feel like enough, but was all he could manage in the time he had left.
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I’m basically legally obligated to post this panel.
Let’s take a moment to consider Rewind as a character. He’s an archivist, and one who’s gotten very good at his job over the millennia. The guy’s OBSESSED with history, and recording as much of it as possible.
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Which stands to reason that he knew about Chromedome’s past conjunx endurae. I mean, why wouldn’t he? It would be public record- even if you don’t necessarily get a marriage license on Cybertron, Chromedome would have been on the paperwork with these other guys somewhere, and the fact that he wouldn’t be able to answer the question of “Who’s this guy you lived with for several thousand years?” Would imply some… rather unfortunate things.
Rewind also has a hard time letting go of things- he gets jealous of Chromedome’s past relationship with Prowl any time it’s brought up, and he’s still looking for his ex-husband after what’s probably been at least a million years. That, combined with the way Rewind lives his life- you know, recording every single moment of it- gives me the impression that he really, really wouldn’t enjoy the idea of being forgotten. He wants Chromedome to stop injecting because it’ll kill him, of course he does, but he also wouldn’t want to be erased.
The video cuts off, leaving Chromedome alone. It’s all up to him now, whether Rewind gets to stay in his heart now.
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Chromedome/Dominus is still on the table.
With THAT crisis of love dealt with, we move back on to that weird zombie nonsense we saw a little bit ago. Ultra Magnus is missing. Odd, that.
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Ratchet, how many times are your patients going to have to disappear from your medibay before it’s less of a “them” problem, and more of a “you” problem?
As Ratchet goes off to search the rest of the ward, Tailgate accidentally bumps into the death clock, which gives him a nasty little surprise: apparently he’s only got three days to live.
Yeah, this is the point where the comic kicks into overdrive, plotwise- there are no brakes on this train anymore.
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