Tumgik
#don't take my word for it tho please go to therapy we all know you need it
baker-chan-senpai · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
just some fluffy serirei for the soul
1K notes · View notes
xerotiny99 · 25 days
Text
Trouble in Paradise // Our Precious #3
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Trouble in Paradise (Our precious series 3)
M.list ┃ Previous ┃ Next
Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader
Warning: smut, dom!yunho, sub!reader, bits of food play (a little disgusting if you aren't into that kinda thing), frottage (non-penetrative sex), cunnilingus (oral sex), nipple/breast simulation, dirty talk & degradation (ofc, because Yunho's really got a foul mouth on him, and we like it <I need therapy>).
Note: do not proceed if you're uncomfortable or triggered by mentioned tags. Please, if you're really grossed out by "transferring" food from one's mouth to another's, then do not proceed. (Here, it's just strawberries, tho. So totally upto you 💀)
Gist: after the deliberate game night, you're left to contemplate about Jongho's and his flatmates' proposition of being their fucktoy. If that wasn't enough of an issue for you, a phone call from your parents leaves you in a mess. And the only way to relax during your hard times is something you know Yunho does all too well.
Word Count: 12,686
Tumblr media
  "So, have you thought about it?"
You bite your lip, obviously contemplating every word of his.
"You know, Jongho just asked me about it a couple of days ago." you stifle a groan and shake your head, "agreed you all are very eager to have me on board, but I'm going to need some time to think, right?"
You take a deep breath, listening to his deep voice murmuring, "and we don't mind how long you take to give us your ultimatum. Of course, I am aware of the kind of plight you're put through. So, don't sweat it and don't make a decision you would end up regretting, okay?"
The grin on your face widens when you let his words sink in; well, he was right. But there was something which was quite tedious to figure out.
"Can I ask you something, Yunho?"
Hearing him lowly hum against your ear, you resist every urge to stuff your hand in between your legs; you roll over your stomach and grab a pillow to hold it under your chest. Your lethargic body relaxes almost immediately when you feel the soft coziness of the pillow and silk sheets draped over your bed. The mattress sinks once again when you move, shifting on your back to stare at the bland ceiling before pushing your phone closer to your ear.
Your heart thumped in your chest, words itching to be said, somehow balancing off the tip of your tongue yet having no grit to let them out. This question, the supposed doubt you had in your mind was troubling you ever since Jongho dropped you off at your dorms the next day of your game night. It was a fiddling question, not too serious or brooding, yet you had your conscience tied in a knot over it. The after-bearing sentiments of your proposed 'bargain' had been irking you to your ultimate limits.
What if, keeping a sex exclusive relationship with the people you barely know, turns out to be the worst decision of your life?
Or, what if your feelings come into play with this superficial relationship?
It may seem crazy, but spending only a week with Yunho had already made you sublime; you could only dream of experiencing the better half of a relationship because Yunho was certainly the boyfriend material, the exact kind you had been craving for years. As truth would have it, and as it would sting your morales, you had couple of exes who were shitty and contemptibly obnoxious. So, now that you had a man who was ticking off every single wish on your list, the profuse quandaries were messy.
"Princess, did you fall asleep?" he teases you through the phone, his tone making you envisage him smirking.
You might as well—after a hectic day of chemistry lectures coming into a play for your lethargy and hebetude, you certainly didn't mind letting off some steam before falling sleep.
"No, I'm here. I'm just..." you trail off, "...I'm thinking of ways to voice my thoughts."
"Have I ever judged you? Even though for the past week you've told me some really disturbing shit," he laughs, and you retaliate, "and don't act as if you didn't enjoy as much as I did narrating it to you."
"I did. I did," his laughter wrings out to a sigh, "don't think too much, okay? Be openly honest with me, ask me what you want to."
"I don't want to ruin your grocery store trip," you let out a soft titter and could picture him rolling his eyes, "understandable, because grocery shopping is all rainbows and unicorns anyway."
"If you had me there with you, it would've been fun," you mumble, turning on your side to stare the dingy wall of your dorm room.
"If that was the case, we'd probably not even make it to the store." He adds, "and we do not want to piss Seonghwa off. He's not pretty when he gets mad."
You drawl on your lower lip and squeeze your thighs together, "it's hard to believe, but okay."
"Ask, Angel." His stern and commanding tone makes your heart palpitate faster in your chest, fluttering sparks in your pussy as you prepare yourself to question him, "okay, it's a simple question, so...why me?"
"Why you, as in why we asked you to be our fucktoy?" he muses and you groan softly yet again, rolling back on your stomach to hold the pillow tighter under your chest.
"Yes. Why me? Why not someone else—maybe Wooyoung's friend, or San's or you know, Mingi's even." You grit your teeth, nervously chomping on your cheek to rid your anxiety.
Yunho chuckles, heartily, very proudly so because he wasn't sure if he had heard you right or not. "Do you think those losers have any girlfriends, Angel?"
"Why not?" you let a smile fleet on your lips.
"Because Wooyoung is a manwhore, he's slept with entire female population in his department and if it isn't obvious, I'm not interested in someone who could be a prospect carrier for herpes," he titters still, "I'm not slut-shaming him, but—ah well fuck it! I am slut-shaming him. Not my fault, he is a pathetic excuse for a human because hit and run is his specialty. Now, you tell me why any of his casualties would agree to our demands, let alone would want to sleep with us?"
You shake your head, trapping your lower lip with your teeth. "I get it. So, am I supposed to feel special?"
"Hmm, I'd rather consider myself lucky to have a cum-slut like you." you squeeze your thighs again, remembering the two nights you had spent with him. "Hold on a moment, let me park my car first."
You hum, restless and exhausted; your day hadn't been decorous since the morning, and considering you had two consecutive chemistry sessions today, you were definitely drained of your frisky energy. Yet, there's something about Yunho and talking to him while he drives around the town to get to the grocery store; at this point you questioned your motives and abilities—why were you getting turned on by a man driving his car to the store?
Maybe because it was very much attractive in your mind. Him, driving a hatchback (probably, you hadn't seen what car he drives), wearing a dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black shades on his eyes, the dainty rattling bracelets he usually adorns around his wrist—to conclude, the picture you were painting in your mind was the cause of your panties getting drenched.
Silence engulfs you, not necessarily, you could catch up on the soft shuffling sounds his clothes, or even his delicate grunts as he puts the car in park and gets out, slamming the door behind him. Although, there's a momentary hush when his phone gets disconnected from the car Bluetooth; he holds his phone close to his ear, while he straightens out a stray crease falling on his shirt near his waist.
"Angel?" he calls out, breaking your trance of staring at your study desk adjoining your bed, "you're still on line. Are you...?"
"I'm here, I did not fall asleep, though I think I might because of the very tiring day I've had." You pout, shifting on your bed to rest against the headboard, while you bring your legs to your chest.
Yunho chuckles, "ah my dear princess, I am coming over after I'm done with this tedious task. You're not gonna get much sleep then. I'd suggest you take a nap till I get done here."
"Oh." you bite your lips, glancing down at your chest. "Wake me up when you get here, and ah—p-s, I'm not wearing anything under my dress."
You hear him let out a breathy chortle, more like a scoff which taunts you into slipping your free hand to the hem of your silk dress. Coming back from the university, you were too exhausted to care about your outfit. You simply put on a coral shaded silk babydoll which barely covered your ass, with spaghetti straps and called it a day—of course, by also abandoning the underwear. So, you were practically naked under the flimsy silk dress, your breasts loose and hanging, your nipples taut from the friction and they really did poke through the material of your dress.  Both of you are quiet for a minute, but then you're also deeply submerged in the thoughts of him coming to your dorm room and fucking you. An annoying chime of bell dings in the background, followed by a soft sound of mechanical doors sliding open—that brings you down to earth, and so does his grumbling voice.
"An open invitation for me to wreck you in any way I want?" he muses, tittering as he moves past the doors and grabs himself a cart. "Princess, you better know what you're getting yourself into. I won't be gentle."
His warning only makes you wetter, your hand slithering past the hem of your dress to trace your fingers on your wet and slick folds. Biting back a whimper when the warmth of your fingers melts around your skin, you take a deep breath and throw your head behind. You knew your breathing would sound wispy to him if you tried to speak but you couldn't control yourself from not uttering a word.
"Yun—you can do—ahh..." you stutter, pressing your fingers against your mound, just above your clit, "I'll be waiting."
"Is my princess touching herself to the thought of me fucking her raw again?" he slurs his words, merely in a whisper considering he was in public. You were deaf to the somber tunes playing in the mart, you were too busy controlling your raspy breath because your desires were flaming you out.
"Yes..."
Yunho lets out a laugh and shakes his head, muttering under his breath then, "can't wait to taste that tight little cunt of yours. Rest well, princess."
He's the one to hang up on you; rather than throwing an imaginary fit, your mind is filled with the images of his cock straining in his pants as he meanders through the aisles of the supermarket. You might be too over in your head, but the exhaustion was slowly crawling up your spine. In no time you find yourself slipping against the headboard and slumping yourself properly in the bed. And in the few passing minutes, your eyes close and you're drifting away into your dreamland.
Dreamland. An alternate universe where you were living your wildest fantasies—maybe a little too realistically. The resonating voice of Yunho and his words were dwelling on your mind. Your imagination was coming to life, nonetheless in your dream. Soon, you're breathing out whimpers of desperation, squeezing your thighs together and murmuring your moans; you never thought you'd be having wet dreams, but you weren't fazed by the unpredictability. The tingling sensation in your pussy only grows when you envision Yunho with his head buried in between your legs, licking and lapping his tongue in your slit, over and over again.
A harsh tug at your lungs makes you breathe deeply, eyes squinting to the imaginary pleasure you were experiencing—with your brows scrunched together, you knew you were pooling in your lingerie. Though, in your dreams, Yunho doesn't stop, and it feels too real to not react to it; however, in the dark corner of your mind, you feel another presence.
Jongho.
The grinning man stands behind Yunho, arms folded over his chest, lips quivering with his eyes fixated on Yunho. Him watching Yunho eat you out was a turn on you didn't think you'd have. But there he was, with his twinkling gaze not once wavering off of you two. Why was it so hot? Why...? Out of the blue, a knot tied itself in your stomach and your guts loosen; the urge to just let go crosses your hazy mind but you try to hold it in. Until it gets too hard to bear and you're jerked out of your sleep.
You don't know how long it has been but when your eyes crack open, you're in direct contact with your open window and furling curtains. The space holds a beguiling view of the evening merging with the night, dark at the seams and bright in the middle. Purple and orange hues mixing together to a crisp shade of the fore-night; you're immersed in admiring the sky, too much to realize you had been holding yourself in. Though when the dire need starts tickling your stomach again, you rush out of your bed and head to the bathroom to relieve yourself.
Once your conscious clears out, you notice several things which have been cluttering your mind. One, you had a wet dream about Yunho and Jongho, two people you never thought you'd ever dream of. Two, as you're staring at your reflection in the mirror, you discern a wet patch on your dress, right near your lap; the dress must've been wedged in between your thighs when you were having that sensual dream. Three, you are really horny. Really really horny. Which sort of reminds you of yours and Yunho's conversation before you dozed off to sleep.
Biting your lip, you get out of the bathroom and dump yourself on the edge of the bed. Your eyes glance over at your desk to read the time on your alarm clock. 5:56 pm, it read, almost 6:00 pm you thought and heaved out a sigh. You run a hand through your hair and stroke out the tangles with your fingers. Searching for your phone, you find it near your pillow and grab it in a haste. When you watch the screen blare with the notifications, your breath hitches in your throat and then delves deeper down in your stomach.
Ten missed calls from your mom.
"Fuck," you curse under your breath and dial her number.
The ring resonates in your ear, infuriating and anxiety striking; yet you listen to it till it echoes out into the obnoxious droid voice telling you the 'number you've dialed is unavailable. Please try again'. You huff and call again but are met with the same outcome as before and it continues on for the next ten attempts you make to call her. Giving up at what you could remember as your twelfth try, you throw your phone aside and let the anxiety eat you out. How ironic was that, in your dreams it was Yunho, and in reality, it's your own mom.
You were certainly restless, weaving all these uncertain notions about your mom—your father too, but since you and your dad didn't really share much of an intimate bond, you weren't surprised to receive no calls from him. Soon, the anxiety reaches your gut, you're quivering with fear and second thoughts; what if it had been an emergency? What if your mom had something really important to say to you? What if you—what if you were too late to call her back? Everything was eventually gone in the blink of an eye.
Knock! Knock!
Two knocks sound on your door, and you flinch; even though you knew who was at your door, you couldn't shake off your perturbation regarding your family. It was true, you had stood up for yourself when your parents were against you pursuing your higher education in a different state but now all those moments were disappearing into a heap of worries. Did you even make the right decision of coming here? Given, you had scholarship and exempted tuition fee, was your decision to come here really ethical from all other perspectives?
Troubled, you drag your feet to answer the door. A trifling gasp is caught in your throat when instantly you're pushed against the door by someone's burly arms, closing the door in process. You were quite used to Yunho's scent, knowing he always carried around a delicate whiff of amber and peonies. The addicting scent rakes your senses to its fullest when his lips capture yours in a searing kiss. His lips move with yours, one arm around your waist tightly wound to keep you in place while his other hand cups a side of your face. Delighted, but mostly razed by his touches, a frail smile sculpts your lips, and you slide your arms all over his back to hold onto his shoulders.
The worries plaguing your mind soon melt away into the heat of your kiss; you're leaning in for more, diving headfirst into this beautiful mess when you know he's only going to tease you and not give in so easily. You're left whining when he bites down on your lower lip and tugs on it. Watching your lips wobble with a smirk on his plump ones, he chuckles softly and shakes his head. He grabs your jaw and pushes his fingers deep into your cheek for your mouth to open wide.
"Hey, Angel," one of his eyebrow twitches on his forehead when he calls out your name with a smirk. "You asked why you, right? I'll tell you why..."
He buries his head in the crook of your neck and sucks at a random spot on the juncture between your jaw and head. Warm tongue rubs your skin, before his teeth sink in and his lips suckle. You groan at the sensation, your mind numbing to any anxiety you felt before. His hand drops from your waist skims over the hem of your babydoll before diving under to trace it along your inner thigh; his fingertips graze against your wet folds before rubbing you down gently.
You prevent yourself from moaning out loud when his finger moves in and out of your slit at a slow pace. Holding your jaw tightly, he nudges your head back into the door.
"This—this fucking thing you have going," he mumbles against your neck, "I don't care about others and why they want you, but for me it's this—the way you're attuned with my body. And also, how fucking addicting you are to me."
You swallow thickly and throw your head further back against the door, banging yourself but you weren't bothered in the least. Hearing soft crinkles of a polythene bag, you peek at him through your half-lidded eyes; lustful gaze rummages around till your vision fills with the sight of him remaining buried in your neck, sucking deep purple bruises on your skin. The carnal darkness in your room is scattered when the lurid rays of moon wash over your invader. You notice him wearing a long coat over his outfit, you carefully listen to every crinkle of his dainty silver bracelets, and you're definitely lost in the appreciation of his teeth creating blotches on your skin.
"This thing started with us," he adds, a little breathless, "as much as I am willing to share you with my piddling flatmates, I can't pretend to be I'm okay with our arrangement. I'll be jealous, I'll be possessive. At certain times you might even see a side of me you probably won't find too adorable."
"I like it when you get jealous, though," you slur your words, smirking at him diligently. "I'm not sure what it is, but you rather have what belongs to you in your own ruthless ways."
Yunho coughs out a tiny chortle before stepping back and shaking his head; you stumble on your weak feet, watching him shrug off his long coat before flinging it over on the seat of the chair in front of your desk. Sighing dejected, as the anxiety once again starts bubbling under your skin, you make yourself comfortable on the edge of your bed. You kept your eyes on him as he loosens first few buttons of his pastel blue shirt—his bracelets keep chiming in time to time, with every movement of his hands. Just as you pictured him to be dressed; he wore a blue dress shirt adorning thin vertical white stripes and paired it with black trousers and boots. The faded blue hair of his was complementing the look, alongside the bits of silver jewelry he wore. He takes a step close to you and leans over to get to your face level; he slips a polythene bag in your lap and when you inspect into it, there are two plastic containers of peaches and strawberries. Did he get those for you? How thoughtful. He clears his throat, lips ghosting over yours as his arms plant themselves on either side of your thighs, trapping you against the bed this time. 
"The first time I saw you at the bookstore, all lost and bemused, like a deer in headlights—I wanted to ruin your innocence so fucking badly," he murmurs, his hot breath fanning your cheeks, "if only had you taken a peek in my head that day. It's a bit exhilarating, isn't it? —" he nudges you with a subtle nod of his head, his hands tracing along the length of your arms, "—how you had to be Jongho's friend. How you were dragged into this mess."
For the purpose of your sanity, your fingertips grasp onto the plastic containers, tightly so because the proximity between your faces kept on dithering to nothing. Running his hands back and forth along your arms, he trails one up to hold you in place by your neck; you gasp the sensation of his fingers tightening around your throat, sinking into your skin, suffocating you.
He presses his lips against yours in a mere touch to whisper, "maybe it's some sort of fate's blueprint or whatever. I don't really care what it is..." he hums out low and drags his words in a gentle mumble, "but I know there's a spark between us, between our bodies to be so profoundly in sync with each other."
Stifling a moan, you mutter against his lips, "are you done with this banal folly? If you are, then just shut up and fuck me."
He raises an eyebrow at you, a small smirk then fleeting on his lips. "Your wish is my command, princess."
"What...?"
You muse to yourself when he pulls away and takes a step back, he eyes you with a lustful twinkle in his eye and strides towards to the full length mirror you had accommodated beside your study desk for the time being. Your dorm wasn't much, to be honest. It was spacious, yes; a bed to a side, a study desk adjacent to it and other trivial things you had lying around, including a closet to the right side of the door, a mini fridge situated next to it, and to the left side of the door was the bathroom. Single room dormitories were expensive compared to the shared ones, but you didn't like the idea of having a roommate or two even.
"Was this the same mirror you used to send me that picture?" he questions, observing it closely.
"Yeah, what about it?" you place the plastic bag to your side and bite your lip, considering.
"Hmm," he purrs softly and picks the mirror up to place it right in front of you. "Let's set it here, shall we."
"What's on your mind, Yunho?" you whine softly, turning it into a chuckle when he prepares to get down on his knees before you. "Really...?"
As exasperated as your voice is, you can't hide your anticipation of your body when he slides himself closer to you. His hands on your thighs, sear a burn on your skin when he grips your flesh. Thumbs rub circles, till they're pressing down and sinking in; he pushes your legs apart, and you let him do as he pleases. One of his hands is already skimming across your thigh to the hem of your dress, pushing it up till it rolls around your chest. He holds it there, exposing your glistening cunt for his eyes to feast on.
"I said I'd be pining to taste you," he mutters in a breath, and gazes up at you, "so here I am. Unlike others, I deliver what I say, princess. And I've been craving a taste of you for quite a while now—since the day I saw you. But with the mirror in front, you can see it for yourself, the kind of mewling mess you become for my tongue."
He shrugs and pouts, tightening his hand which rested on your thigh, while he prompts you with a nod of his head to hold your dress up. You do as said, letting your trembling fingers clip on the hem of your dress to hold it up. Perusing your glistening cunt with his lust-filled eyes, his lips curl into a sly smirk. He slots himself closer to you, tracing his delicate lips down your abdomen, fluttering kisses which tickle your spine and your spark your cunt. Watching his reflection in the mirror was already fucking you up; but watching his reflection when his head is buried deep in between your legs was certainly savage. 
"And what are those fruits for? You were going to treat yourself, weren't you?" you mumble softly under your breath.
Dropping one hand to stroke his hair away from his forehead, you tangle your fingers in his luscious locks while trying to clasp your lower lip to bite back on any possible moans you might voice. His kisses trace up your stomach, up till he's giving your skin short kitten licks under your breasts. Your fingers pinch his hair, other hand struggling to hold your dress up—his thumbs help you soothe by rubbing circles on your thighs, engulfing you in a trance of comfort and ease.
"Of course, I'm treating myself," he mumbles under his breath, skimming his wet tongue down your abdomen to your stomach again. "Strawberries just taste better, you know."
Scoffing out in bewilderment, he presses a deep kiss just over your belly button and drags his lips slowly down, purposely teasing and nicking his teeth at your skin. You tilt your head back, your lips carved in a sleazy smile when the sensation of his soft lips flutter further down; your fingers tighten their hold on his faded blue locks, while other let's go of your dress. The silky material of your babydoll slips over his head, but he does not seem bothered as he continues littering soft kisses down your belly button.
And then, a moan hitches in your throat, anticipating. You're urged to squeeze your thighs together; only because his hot breaths were caressing your mound. His thumbs carried on rubbing circles in your flesh, soothing you bit by bit. In a way, his placid ministrations were helping you to keep your legs spread from him.
"Hmm, fuck," you gasp, voiceless, under your breath, screwing your eyes shut to the feeling of his soft lips pressing insanely close against your clit.
But you're left high when he pulls back, angling his head up to look at you; he wasn't fond of your dress slipping down your chest and waist, he didn't like it when your skin was covered. If you had the body to flaunt it, then why would you or anyone else want it covered? That was his logic, according to what you could stipulate from the week you had spent with him. Phrases and words like that made you an absolute puddle for him, you'd melt into a cold and sybaritic plash for him—all because you knew he would worship your body like the goddess you are, whenever he had the chance to. He has a chance now; he wasn't going to let it slip.
"You really like to tease me, don't you?" you squeak, listening to some shuffles of his clothes while your eyes peel open. "Now, what?"
"Getting rid of your lingerie," he grunts, huffing out a stubborn breath while lifting your babydoll over your head. Groping a handful of your tits, he buries his face in the valley of your chest and showers your skin with a few kisses. "I'd rather prefer you wearing nothing when you're around me. Can't get enough of this body, can't get enough..." he pauses, mulling over as his fingers dig into your fleshy tit, "...fuck, I'm all out of words to describe what this body means to me. Not just a fucktoy, no. Not at all. This body...hmm, this body should be displayed in a museum for being so fucking perfect. You're perfect for me, princess. Don't think otherwise, or else..."
Or else? You wondered. Not as much as exalting yourself in the way he was slurring his words, rambling even to get his point across. His teeth scratch your skin, his fingers now rolling your taut nipple; his other hand has been on your thigh all along, stroking circles to keep you levelheaded. You whimper at the sensation of his calloused hand kneading and groping one of your tits, while the other wasn't getting the attention it deserved. Turning your whimper into a whine, you look down at him, surprised to find him staring at you with the loudest smirk he could possibly scour.
"Aww, is my princess needy?" he tugs his lower lip out, brows scrunching down at the corners to feign his discretion. "My needy princess will get everything," he mutters against your skin, and leaves behind open mouth kisses when he gets to your other tit. "Hmmfyou—pfneeded—fthis?"
It drives you crazy how he was being muffled by your tit in his mouth; you glance down, biting your lip to avoid yourself from getting too aroused by the sight beneath. Oh lord, were you wrong. His lips had encased themselves around your flesh, tongue lapping and licking at your hardened peck; though, you could not resist being tempted by his doe eyes staring up at you with such nativity in them. His other hand squeezes your other tit, keeps it going till you're blabbering his name in wispy voice.
"Yunho...please," you shudder to the stimulation of your chest.
He hums around your tit, teeth slowly sinking in and biting lightly, his tongue was at it too, slicking it in his spit and unprecedented licks. Muttering a string of incoherent curses to yourself, you let your hand slip from his hair to the back of his neck, gripping tight. His moan gets muffled around your tit, sending spine-tingling vibrations to your cunt. You needed him, now. There was no way you could handle him playing with your chest like this.
He pulls his mouth back, reverberating a 'pop' sound on purpose as he does. "When I first saw you at the bookstore, I imagined you tasted like strawberries or peaches. So..." he blindly reaches out for the plastic containers of fruit he brought with him, while his other remains on your tit, caressing and pinching. "...coming across these at the grocery store was a good trip to the memory lane. I was reminded and I thought why not?"
"Let me devour you, princess."
You don't know what it was, but it was enough to make you leak. And in that while, you couldn't figure out how he got one of the strawberries out of the box you had placed to the side on bed before, and already had it in his mouth. The leaves were off the strawberry, conveniently—as he bites on it, the faint crimson juices slop past his lips and further down on his chin. You wanted to lick him clean. Maybe it was a silent yet coherent thought beeping in your mind, and maybe he had just read your mind. He slithers his hand along your arm and grabs the back of your neck, pulling you down, he lets his lips collide with yours.
Sweet. The redolent taste of strawberries fills up your mouth, eventually, a few bits of it when he forces his tongue in your mouth. There you are, frenching him while he shoves down the broken and mushy pieces of strawberries down your throat. Now, both of your chins are sticky and stained from the juices, though for you, a stray drop trickles past and falls perfectly in between your tits. 
A spark goes off in Yunho's mind when he feels the coldness of the drop dribbling over his hand which still played with your tit. You trace both of your hands to his shoulder and grip them tight, crinkling and creasing his shirt haphazardly—well, as if you cared.  He breaks the kiss and takes a deep breath in, while you're still breathless at how hard his tongue was shoving itself down your throat. A few pieces of strawberry are stuck in the gaps of your cheeks, and you swallow them down as you stare at him.
Picking out another strawberry, Yunho smirks slightly as he brings it to your mouth and prompts you to take a small bite out of it before he engulfs it whole. Again, the juices fill up his mouth, cumulative drops collecting themselves by the edge of his lips—but then don't spill, not until he buries his head back into your chest. A few drops roll down on your skin, his kisses soon turning into open mouth suckles. Pale stains of crimson trail with his mouth as he takes one of your tits in; it was the other one this time. His mouth wraps perfectly around your flesh, sucking and squeezing your tit with his lips and teeth. One of his hands snakes around your waist to rest on the small of your back, while the other cups a side of your face.
"This is awfully freaky," you mumble, dragging one of your hands to play with his hair falling on his nape. "But I like it freaky, you make it seem—ah," you gasp when you feel him give your nipple a gentle tug with his teeth, "—ah fuck, that feels good. So, fucking good..."
Your chest heaves up and down in his face, too bothered by him and his innocent eyes gazing up at you. The warmth of his mouth and the vague gelidity of the strawberry juices dissipates when he detaches himself from your chest; his smirk grows in his cheek, perusing the piece of art he had left behind on your chest. The sticky red strawberry pulp had adhered to your skin quite magnificently and he couldn't be prouder.
"This is just the tip of the iceberg," he winks, swallowing the remnants of fruit in his mouth. "I can get freakier."
Confidence in his eyes strikes you in the best way possible; you for sure know your cunt had drenched your bedsheets by now, all slick with the arousal his mouth was causing.
"Then get freakier, I need more from you."
In the erratic moment of time, he grabs another strawberry from the containers and props it right over your mound. The frigidity of the fruit was searing against your skin, that is only until he had fisted his hand around it and squeezed the life out of it—the pulp and juices trickled down, slotting itself perfectly in your folds and slit.
"Ah, fuck—you fucking bastard," you half-moan-half-chuckle, but it soon turns to an astonished gasp when his hot breath casts itself on your cunt before his wet tongue licks up your slit. "You—fuck—you fucking—you fucking freak!" you succumb to breathlessness and close your eyes tight; clutching his nape with both of your hands, you held onto him for your dear life.
He chortles against your slick folds and delves further down; the tip of his nose nudges with your clit at first, and then slides along your slit. How fucking good did that feel? You moan, your chest ripping itself apart when you do. It was unlike anything you had felt, especially considering pleasures received through oral stimulation. Yunho knew what he was doing, and he was doing it really well. His tongue licks up a stripe, lips sucking around your clit for a hot second before he drags them down to repeat the long and hard licks. You were squirming with a want, the oh-so sweet want of release.
Yunho's hands grip your inner thighs, his thumbs nudge and spread your cunt apart for the remaining pulp and juice of strawberry to roll down in between your folds. He leans in close and picks out the granules with his teeth, biting down softly as he does. It sends tremors under your skin, forces a saccade series of moans and groans out of you while your eyes squint tighter to let out tears. The pleasure was immeasurable, wooing you off into a faraway land of orgasm and joy.
You were delighted, so delighted to find your stomach knotting itself without having to be stimulated with penetration. He continues to lick and suck on your folds, gradually giving your clit some attention with his tongue while his hands groped your thighs and fingers dug in; they were leaving bruises tomorrow, but you were looking forward to it. Those handprints of his, they were going to be something you'd love to show off to your friends or someone.
"Fuck, Yunho. Your mouth—" you take a breath in through your mouth, "—it feels like I'm in paradise."
When your eyes open you see stars twinkling in the corner, your sight was full of them eventually—that is, as he carried on with his ruthless licks and flicks to your clit. The knot was intensifying, if anything, you really were on the verge of letting yourself go and watching you cum all over his face. Your face twitches and you're about...
Ring! Ring! Ring!
The high you once sought to, was now a deliberate low laying fruit; the knot disappears as the blaring sound of your phone's ringtone grows louder. You click your tongue, and blindly swat your hand on the bed next to you to find your phone. As you would recall, you did fling it somewhere when you went to answer the door. However, Yunho wasn't bothered by the deafening rings percolating in the room, he continues. A man on a mission. You mentally groan at that thought and sigh heavily when you find your phone in your hand. Checking the caller ID, you couldn't help but swipe the screen to answer the call.
Mom's calling you. She's calling you back. You needed answers, something to appease you about the ordeal where she felt the need to call you ten times.
Pressing the phone close to your ear and while gasping for air, you mumble, "he-hey mom."
"Oh, hey Angel—wait, did I get you at the wrong time?" you shake your head, trapping your moans in your mouth, "uh-huh, I was worried—I was worried about you and da—and dad. Giving me ten misse—ten missed—fuck."
All breath is knocked out of your lungs when you feel Yunho's tongue slither along your slit and his spit cover you up in its warmth; you're left to drawl on the remaining air in your lungs, specifically when he places his hand on your lower abdomen and forces you to lean behind into the mattress. Your back arches, your hips lift off the edge slightly for him to fix himself better between your legs. The angle your body now holds, gives him the perfect view of your hole. You squirm, wiggling your ass and bucking your hips into his face to get that much needed contact you had been craving for so long.
"Keep it hush, princess," he whispers, glaring up at you, "and watch your mouth when you're talking to your mother, hmm?"
You slightly glance down, hand trembling to hold the phone close to your ear—his face was breathtaking, glistening with your juices and the saccharine scent of the strawberry mixing in with your musk. The tip of his nose goes back to being buried in your slit, while his tongue rolls on your clit till it trails down to your hole.
Knowing where this was headed, you clutch the sheets under you and press your lips together. You so hoped your mom wasn't getting any ideas in her head about why your words were slurred or whimpered.
"Angie, I can call some other time," she murmurs from the other line, reminding you that you were still on call with her.
"Mom, just—just tell me—fuuc—hmmm," you cry out in pleasure when his tongue thrusts into your cunt. "I'm good—I'm good, you had me—hmmm—you had me worried—it's—"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, darling," she interrupts you, her tone soft and gentle. "The thing is, your dad..." she sighs and continues, "...in the last quarter of your dad's business—we're going under, Angel."
She comes straight to the point and bemused you; but your mind is occupied with Yunho's tongue shoving in and out of your cunt, slurping your juices, squelching your fleshy folds, and pressing the tip of his nose against your slick slit. You were done for better this time. The familiar knot ties itself in your stomach again. This time, your body rather hoped you'd get to come undone and release your tension all over his face. But, Yunho had some different ideas in his mind.
Hearing a bit of static from the other side, your mom continues, "you're understanding the weight of this situation, right? It brings me no peace to tell you that," she pauses and you hum, sinking your teeth further down in your lower lip as Yunho's tongue carries on with the abuse, "we can't support your accommodation, Angel. The tuition is already paid for, which we have no concern about since you're on your scholarship—but your dormitory fees, they'll be—you'll have to pay them yourself. Maybe, get a job? Or look for a new residence, where you have to share your rent?"
Her words were going over your head, regardless you were able to catch up on few phrases which sounded important and held grave promise to them. 'Look for a new residence.' Okay. 'Get a job?' Surely something you weren't looking forward to. But 'sharing a house with strangers?'A big no-no.
Though, all you could do was nod along and release your lip from your teeth to mumble, "sure—sure, fine. I'll—mom, I'll call you later at night—I promise, I'm busy—fuck."
The moment the curse escapes your mouth in the form of a moan, you hang up the call and squint your eyes shut; Yunho was thumbing your clit at an accelerated pace, stroking circles to let your orgasm delve deeper into your soul. Your phone slips out from your hand, falling down on the ground with a subtle thump while you bring both of your hands to rest them around his neck. Oh how tempted were you to push his head down, to make his tongue reach deeper into your swollen cunt.
"Fuck, Yun—Yun, I was on call—I was on a fucking call with my mom—fuck, couldn't you—couldn't you tone it down?" you stutter, trying to steady your erratic breath. 
Yunho hadn't stopped thrusting his tongue into you, neither had he stopped stroking your clit with his thumb—he doesn't utter a word and continues to do so. You were done with his teasing, huffing to yourself, you push his head down against yours cunt; now his tongue reached deep, submerged completely in your flesh and your walls clenched tightly around him.
"Yes, fuck, yeah, feels good. So good," you drool, throwing your head back and arching yourself to let the pleasure wash over you.
More importantly, your orgasm was only a few thrusts away; maybe a few flicks of his thumb could have you mewling at him as you release all over his tongue and face. The imaginary sight in your mind was riling you up in the worst ways already—you wonder what it'd be like if it were to come to life. Now that you do think about it, your dream comes crashing through—merging with the reality to spread goosebumps on your skin. Just imagining Jongho being present in the room, watching you get fucked by Yunho's tongue, was pushing you further to your edge.
"Yunho...? I'm—" you tap his shoulder twice, but he doesn't budge and continues to push his tongue in your cunt.
"Fuck." You yell and then scream out his name when you feel your walls clenching around his tongue one last time, "Yunho!"
His thumb stops toying with your clit, but his face remains buried in between your legs, his thumb having quit shoving itself into your cunt. You're flooding down his face, squealing and mumbling his name under your breath in a voiceless chant before catching a beat to respire properly. In the daze of your orgasm hitting you like a bucket of bricks, you hear him hum and nuzzle his head further into cunt; a second passes by in the heat of the moment, and he reels himself back. Leaning away eventually, he straightens himself and wipes his face with the back of his hand, getting some of your slick on the sleeves of his shirt.
"Are you insane?" you breathe out.
"Insane to get my princess cum on my face," he chuckles and shakes his head, "I hope you're feeling better now because I felt you tense up when you were talking to your mother."
He begins unbuttoning his shirt, one by one he undoes the button and shrugs his shirt off his shoulders. Exposing his toned body, he throws his shirt off to somewhere and gets on his feet. You're still trapped in the stupor of your orgasm, to even notice him shimmy out of his pants. Clad in his black briefs, he leans down to capture your lips in a gentle kiss.
"I've got a problem, Yunho," you murmur, and he nods, "and is it bad enough to keep us from fucking?"
Rolling your eyes you scoff, ready to shove him away, "are you really thinking with your dick, right now?"
He traces his lips down your jaw, leaving behind open mouth kisses along your skin to your neck. His hands roamed to her bare back, skimming his fingertips up front till he drags them painstakingly slow to your stomach and then further to your clit. You hug his shoulders, tight enough to hold onto him.
"You are less tense now, princess. I'm guessing my tricks are working, so...why won't I think with my dick?" he chuckles, kneeling down before you to slot himself between your spread legs.
"It's not about that, Yunho," your whine, suppressing a titter to yourself. "I'm practically homeless."
"What?" he gasps, amused and pulls back to stare at you, a confused smile sculpting on his lips.
"My parents are having some financial troubles; they are falling short to pay me for my accommodation," you pout, noticing the tent in his briefs, "so, I have to find a new place to live. And I don't where I can find an affordable apartment."
The worry lines on your forehead, concerns Yunho too. He licks his lower lip and sighs, "Angel, you can live with us."
"What now?" you massage circles into his shoulders as you hold them.
"Yeah, we've got a spare room in the loft. Well, Jongho occupied it not too long ago, but he can surely move back in with Mingi." He explains, wrapping his hands around your waist, "you don't have to pay us rent because you're going to be paying us in a different way...in all, it's the best arrangement you could ever ask for."
You think, muse and contemplate. To one side of your head you were agreeing with his proposition, but on the other side, you were marred with the thought of living with eight men out of which five were sexually interested in you and two had already fucked you good. Well, you're given no choice but to agree and get along with his deal.
"Hey, you don't have to give me an urgent answer," he mumbles, thumbing the sides of your waist, "after we're done here, you can come on over and we'll talk it out with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Capisce?"
"Why, are they supposedly the alpha males of the household?" you joke, giggling softly.
"Technically," Yunho shrugs, "Hongjoong owns the loft and he was generous enough to let us stay and share the rent. It started with me and Seonghwa, others eventually joined us through mutual friends—it was the beginning of our freshman year, so..."
"I'd need their permission?"
Yunho scoffs playfully, "princess, no. They'd be happy to welcome you in. But this is supposedly my suggestion and I fall a little short on making such decisions as compared to them. It's better if you talk with Hongjoong."
You sigh, "fine."
A smile fleets on your lips and it delves deeper in your cheek. "So, are you going to ease my mind or not?"
"You don't need to tell me twice, princess," he smirks, diving in to kiss you passionately so.
You kiss back with the same want, same heat crawling up your gut as his; the intensity wasn't dithering, neither was your anticipation. He pushes you back on the bed till you're laying under him and he straddles your lap. The kiss never stops, even when he fumbles with the waistband of his briefs to get them off in a haste. He somehow manages to tug his briefs down till his knees and his hard cock pokes your inner thigh, until the tip of his cock brushes past your lower stomach. His hands are back on you, holding your neck to position you better to deepen the kiss; his tongue wriggles its way in your mouth. For the moment it does, you feebly taste the redolence of strawberries and your cum on his tongue. There goes without saying, you still couldn't believe he let you cum on his face.
But who's to judge his preferences? You aren't a saint either. Definitely not.
Moaning into the kiss, you drag your hands up his back and let your fingertip tickle his skin. Breathless, Yunho breaks apart from the warmth of your mouth, missing the way his tongue was shoving down your throat, and uses one of his hands to pump his cock, while his other supports his weight when he places it next to your head. His back arches, his fingers stroking the reddened tip of his cock as bits of precum drips from the slit—he angles his hand in a way to spread his precum along the shaft with the palm of his hand.
"Fuck," he grunts, closing his eyes shut tight and continuing to pump his cock into his hand.
For you, this was definitely a sight more than breathtaking to witness. How often do you see a pretty blue haired man stroke his cock so eagerly for you? It went on to show how sorely he needed you and yearned to fuck your cunt. This only takes you back to the time when he had railed you so good and hard; you knew it he was untamed and being so feral with that huge cock, was indeed going to deliver the best.
You let out a soft whimper, adding in to the gentle sounding moans of his. Insane, absolutely insane. His moans were pretty, just like him and you know you could never get enough of him moaning.
"Take a deep breath for me, princess," he indicates you with a nudge of his head while he opens his eyes to look at you.
Taking a breath, you prepare yourself for his cock. He chuckles at you, admiring your intrepidity as he eases himself into you. Your face contorts in pain, with only his tip submerging in you. Knowing the pain would soon subside into pleasure, however it doesn't. Your brows twitch and your eyes squint tight enough for tears stream down the side of your face; your mouth falls agape, wide to the ache your walls sensing with the stretch.
"Ah—Yunho!" you gasp out loud, breaking out into a yell. "It hurts, stop."
And he stops. With same ease, he guides his cock out of you and cups your face immediately after noticing the tears in your eyes. You flutter your gaze across him, a little blurry but you still discern the concern etched on his face. 
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, voice gentle and wispy. "Am I hurting you?"
"It just," you hiccup, "it hurts like hell when you..."
"Oh," he trails off, "is it because of last week? I think it is. I was too rough back then, wasn't I?" Sighing, his caresses your cheeks and leans in to kiss a stray drop of your tear away from your lips, "you're not used to such a huge cock, are you? It's fine. I'll have to be more careful with you next time—were you feeling any discomfort after that night?"
"I'm not sure, I felt sore and really raw at that time. Maybe I couldn't decry between vaginal tears and soreness," you mumble, assuring him with a faint smile before continuing, "look, it's not your fault. I failed to identify—"
"God, Angel," he groans, "it's not your fault, and for fucks sake put the blame on me. I should've been gentle with you for the first time. You're not used to it—ugh, never mind, I'll have to get you used to my size otherwise..."
"I'll be fine, stop worrying so much," you cup his face in your palms and reassure him. "Now, can we just...let's just forget about it and focus on making you feel good. It's only fair if I return the favour."
You lick your lips and let your tongue poke out through your lower lip; glancing down at his still hardened cock, you drool and your eyes twinkle with lust. He grabs your chin and forces you to meet his eyes.
"I am not so fond of blow-jobs," he says, smirking and then looking around till his eyes fixate on your chair and study desk. "Get on your feet, I've got a better idea." He then stands up and holds his hand out for you.
"Okay, mister," you roll your eyes and set your wobbly feet down, grabbing his extended hand before pulling you close to his body.
Your naked bodies crash into each other and heat emanates from both of you; his arms wrap around your waist and tug you around. He positions you in front of the chair, and pushes you down by the small of your back to have you leaning over the chair. He's right behind you, situating his cock perfectly against your ass which was raised high in the air.
"Legs apart," he whispers his command too close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
Slapping your inner thighs, he establishes a small distance between your legs and slips himself into it, his cock slides easily amid your thighs, a little below your folds. The tip of his cock rubs against your slit, rubbing back and forth—you're driven wild with the sensation, and even more so when his hands grope your thighs from behind. His fingers dig, sink in tight enough for bruises to appear. Again, you looked forward to it, being decorated with his marks. Perfect for a possessive man like him.
"Fuck, this is your idea to make yourself cum?" you dreamily laugh out, throwing your head behind on his chest.
"Your thighs feel godly, princess," he susurrates, licking up the shell of your ear before biting down hard on your earlobe. "Squeeze them."
You do as he says, squeezing your thighs together to feel his cock slip in and out at a steady pace. He bucks his hips a little higher to let himself rub against your slit in long and consistent strokes. This was certainly new to you, yet you were getting stimulated close to your second orgasm. You didn't think you would because this wasn't the same as the time he had actually penetrated you. There's no space for you to complain, you were slipping close into the world of pleasure and sensuality to give a damn about whether his cock was pounding in you or fucking your thighs.
"Fuck, just as I fucking thought—just as I fucking imagined what it would be to fuck your thighs," he whimpers close to your ear and later on you realise he was leaning over to kiss your cheek. "Princess, you've got unquestionably the best thighs to fuck. So thick, so tight—just fucking perfect."
You know he had lost it riding himself in between your thighs but you, on the other hand hadn't quite recovered from your last orgasm yet. Or even figured out how you weren't alerted to your vaginal injuries. It'd be unfair to call them injuries, they were basic nicks in the muscles of your vagina and cervix, from tremendous and tedious sexual activity. Pushing those thoughts to the far corner of your mind, your knuckles turn white while holding onto the chair, you were starting to get hot and bothered—so close to your orgasm again.
His cock thrusted along your cunt, hard and slick with his precum, which supposedly provided enough lubrication for his strokes to be smooth and pleasant. Your skin was covered with it however, and you were resisting to picture how his cum would paint your thighs. Picking up his pace, he thrusts faster yet keeps them long and sharp. Your walls clench around nothing, while your stomach drops to your knees; your legs buckle under you, under the weight of sensory overload his cock was proffering.
He flattens his palms on your thighs and gives you light slaps on either of your thighs, "we need to keep them thick and fleshy like this. I bet others would enjoy fucking them as much as I am right now."
"Hmhm, yeah..." you moan, shutting off your cognitive dissonance and mumbling along with him, "thick for you—thick for Seonghwa—thick for everyone."
"Ah, you're already blabbering bullshit, aren't you?" he titters heartily, pulling his hips back and driving them in sharply. "My cock makes you dumb, doesn't it? Hmm...a pretty little slut like you would be dumb for anyone's cock, isn't it?"
His taunts make you shake your head, lips parting to whimper, "no, fuck, only for you—only for you, Yunho."
"That's what I thought," he gasps, increasing his back and rattling his hips into yours.
His death grip is back on your thighs, his eyes are shut tight as he lurches forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder; sweaty chest presses up against your back, while you hold onto the chair for your dear life and to sedate the tremors his thrusts which caused your body to keel. The same tightness grows heavy in your gut, your spine tingling with how close you were to your second orgasm—your nails scratch off the varnish on the chair, scrapping bits of wood in them as he plunges his cock ruthlessly in between in your thighs. You squeeze them firmly, sensing the knot coming undone in your lower belly.
"Are you going to cum for me, princess?"
You nod your head, closing your eyes shut and leaning back into his touch; the heat creeps up your stomach and in a second's beat, the tension slips into comfort. You're releasing all over his cock, splashing on his and your thighs, a bit on the floor too. This time, you were knocked out for good; this orgasm was far more intense than the last one, far more overpowering too. You're mumbling his name like a chant, while he lets a laugh rumble in his chest.
"Fuck, my princess really made a mess on my cock, and everywhere else." he adds, "now, be a good little whore and help me cum too."
Without any warning, he goes even harder and faster than before, causing your body to convulse to his relentless thrusts. His untamed desire was evident in the way his fingers were bruising your skin, how tightly he was groping your thighs to stable himself from his ever increasing pace of his thrusts. He could go for long, and he does; your brain is turned to a mush in regard to the time or energy—his cock keeps hitting your folds, and the tip keeps abusing your clit.
You were past the point of sanity, breaking apart at the seams with your foul mouth screaming out his name and moaning it as if he was your god—technically, he was starting to show you stars, galaxies and miracles behind your shut eyes. All this from only rubbing himself between your thighs; it makes you wonder how much wilder the sex would get once you get to move in with him. Those ideas are for later, right now, you were vicious with his cock.
"Princess, I'm close. Don't worry—fuck—squeeze them tighter, for me—fucking please," he babbles out in despair, and you clasp your thighs even tighter on his cock.
"Fucking perfect."
He words out in a heavy breath, bucking his hips in your thighs as the tip of his cock remains close by your slit; heaving out, the warmth of his cum coats your folds and your slit. Gradually, he starts pulling back, still letting his cum sputter on your skin before he releases all of him on your ass and back. A few of it streaks down your butt-crack, eventually seeping down your butthole. You're groaning out in pleasure and possibly due to overstimulation. Nonetheless, you were satisfied, more than satisfied to know he had painted your back with his cum.
You're both breathless when he leans away from your shoulder and steps back; his small laugh resonates around you before dissipating into a soft titter.
"Princess, you just fucking know how to take a cock, don't you?" he mumbles in his post-orgasm daze, while grabbing his trousers to pull out his handkerchief. "Well, let's get you cleaned and then we'll take a shower together. We are both...sticky."
"Sounds good to me," you manage to gibber, not sure if it was audible or not. "I could use a hot shower and thorough cleaning after this."
"Hmm, I'll gladly help you clean."
You're too weak to turn around, so he helps you swivel on your feet while he holds your body close to his for support. Lethargic and drained, your eyes were closing themselves involuntarily. It was the lack of sleep—the sleep deprivation was slowly catching up with you.
"Keep your eyes open, princess. I need you here with me, okay?" his voice soothes a nerve in your mind, and you nod, opening your eyes. "Guess I'll have to be quick."
"Of course."
The rest of the evening, basically half-evening-half-night goes by smoothly. You both did take a shower together without engaging in anything and got rid of the sweat and stench of sex—but unfortunately, your room still reeked of sex, sweat and cum. You didn't care. Not particularly when you were dragged out of your dorm room by Yunho, after getting dressed in fresh clothes. You wore a long and oversized hoodie, shaded black and didn't bother wearing shorts or pants underneath as it covered most of your skin. To your surprise, as soon as you had your lip gloss on (because you liked lip gloss more than lipsticks), he had your hands intertwined and he was pulling you out of the door. He was eager for you, and the seemingly harmless arrangement you were about to propose to Hongjoong and Seonghwa.
You would've never guessed that this man drives a red corvette stingray if you hadn't been strapped in the passenger's seat of his car. An innocent looking man like him, driving such a flashy sports car, was indeed a shock to you. Looks can be deceiving, so who really cares? Everything passes by you in a blur when he speeds down the road; eventually, the city lights turn into streaks of neon haze and starbursts, until you're by the complex where his loft was located. He parks his car, and helps you out. Your hand in his, he guides you in and takes you to the loft.
Your heart is in your throat, not because you were back to this place with Yunho by your side but because you were too scared to anticipate Hongjoong's and Seonghwa's judgment on your proposition. This has to go well, and it will. Right? You have Yunho with you. What could possibly go wrong?
Yunho unlocks the door and pushes it to usher you inside. His hand never leaves yours; his grip doesn't loosen up for even a second as his pulling you further up to the living room. You and he had taken off your shoes in a haste and did not bother slipping into the house slippers. However, the commotion of your footsteps and Yunho's constant murmurs of 'it'll be okay', 'they won't bite you' and 'just relax' had gotten certain attention from the people sitting on couch.
You're soon greeted with San and Jongho, especially Jongho who has a twinkling and excited smile carved on his face. Both of them were seated on the couch, San having a laptop perched on his lap while Jongho made his observations on the screen—they were clad in their night clothes, San wearing a pair of black pajamas with white cats all over it and Jongho, a pastel blue pajama set with brown bears on it.
"Angel!!" he glees, catching your glimpse next to Yunho, "what brings you here so late at night?" his tone simmers down to being confused.
San adds, "yeah, it's not our game night tonight."
"Guys, stop pestering her, okay?" Yunho groans, looking around, "where are Hongjoong and Seonghwa?"
"Seonghwa's in the kitchen—"
"What is it Jongho...oh hey, Angel!" Seonghwa interrupts Jongho and quickly turns it into an elated greeting. "Should I be concerned for you to make your appearance this late into the night—can't ignore the fact that Yunho's here too. Are you two eloping?"
He's walking out of the kitchen, draped in a variedly stained apron and a wooden spatula in his hand. He looks gorgeous as usual, covering his white turtleneck and black trousers with a grunge red apron—not only his outfit made you quiver, but his hair was also pushed back and tied in a small ponytail behind. If he looked this alluring even when you move in, then you don't think you'd be able to resist the urge to suck him off every time he appeared in front of you.
Yunho clears his throat, aggressively and it becomes a series of wretched coughs till he's gasping for air. "Don't go too hard on me, Hwa. You know how I am."
"Fuck your preferences, Yun," Seonghwa rolls his eyes, "what is the point in bringing Angel here?"
"Well, I'll let her explain it," Yunho sighs, giving you a nudge of his head.
"Uhh, yeah, I need to talk," you mumble, scratching the back of your neck with your other hand.
Your words alert Jongho and San, and they're saturated completely on you, regardless of a certain video playing on San's laptop. Seonghwa hums along, encouraging you with a nod of his head while biting his lower lip. Yunho only stares at you, keeping a frail smile on his face.
"So, go on."
A coarse yet pitched voice booms through the room, followed by nifty footsteps of the man you had been waiting to come. You assumed he was in his room or something, but not thinking he could be at work. Hongjoong strides in, running one of his hands through his hair and other stuffed in the pocket of his jogger shorts. You watch him adorning a black tank top over his toned chest and nothing else; his complexion was striking but wasn't as pale as Yunho. A pop of melatonin makes his skin a little tanned.
"I suppose, Yunho bringing you here is rather crucial for you." He says, walking over to sit next to Jongho. Spreading his legs apart and relaxing back on the couch, he repeats, "go on, Angel."
You clear your throat, "I—I actually—I actually need a place to stay. My parents—"
"—she's in no condition to pay for her university accommodation, so she's looking for a new place to stay. I asked her to come with me since we have a room to spare," Yunho interjects, his eyes trailing over at Jongho, "you'll have to move back in with Mingi, baby bear. You're understanding enough, right?"
Jongho ponders for a minute before silently nodding, "sure. I don't mind. Angel needs it more than me."
You can't help but crack a smile at him, heart palpitating faster in your chest. Yunho could hear your heartbeat, and he squeezes your hand to ease you out. Seonghwa notices it and smiles to himself, shaking his head at the two of you before excusing himself from the living room and going back into the kitchen.
Hongjoong finds it amusing, his lips twisting in a knowing smirk before he asks you, "that's not the issue, Angel. What I need to know from you is—rather what I'm aching to hear from you is, your riposte to my proposed idea of you..."
"I agree to it," you're too quick to reply, taking the man off guard and others too.
San remains confused because he had no clue what you were talking about. Now that he is here, does it mean he'll also be involved in this reverse harem thing you have going on with others? If San gets involved then would the others be involved too? Of course you're thinking about Wooyoung and Mingi, one is a reputed manwhore and other is a man who resents you. That too for no apparent reason—or for something you don't know.
"You do?" Jongho squeals, questioning you.
"Yeah, I don't mind being your..." you trail off, glazing your eyes over at San.
From the kitchen, you hear thudding of metal dishes and spoons, soon Seonghwa comes rushing out with his wooden spatula.
"She agrees?" he asks, and Yunho nods, "she said she'd need more time to think about it, but I guess..."
"Are you agreeing to it because of your living conditions, Angel?"
There it was, Hongjoong comes straight to point. Even his stare was detrimental for you, and how insanely intense it was to pierce through yours. Hongjoong clearly liked to dominate submissive women like you—he has how own share of kinks and customs he likes to follow in the bedroom. And some of them, might seem too unconventional. You didn't want your mind to stray too far off, but he seemed like the type who definitely delighted himself in playing with chains and cuffs.
"I'm not!" you retort, explaining yourself further, "I gave it some thought and I don't think it's a bad idea."
Your pout melts through the stubborn and ice cold heart of Hongjoong's—for a man with domineering aura, he sure is letting himself submit to you. He doesn't let his stoicism waver on his face, rather his purses his lips together and spreads his legs apart further.
"Don't think it's a bad idea?" he repeats your words in coherence to your judgement, "Angel, we don't want you doing anything you are uncomfortable with. Your consent means a lot to us."
"And you have it," your pout grows, and you vaguely point at Seonghwa and Yunho, "I've already gone to the extreme with him and him."
Hongjoong chuckles, and keeping his lips parted, his canines rest against his lower lip, "we'll add it to the very list of your sex chronicles with us."
Your face heats up and turns red, before you could open your mouth to retaliate, San pipes in, "so, you've discussed this before? She's our new...fucktoy?" he cringes thereafter, shrugging his shoulders and scrunching his face in disgust, "with all due respect, let me rephrase, you are our new arrangement to satisfy our sexual desires?"
You nod, your heart hammering in your chest. "Yeah, one and only."
"Are you really sure, Angel?" Jongho wants a confirmation from you and smile at him, wide and bright, wanting to erase his doubts. "Then I guess we no longer have to wait for your answer."
Seonghwa chimes in, "so, when are you moving in?"
"Oh, once this month gets over. There's only a week left anyway," you shrug, smiling a little, "I'll start packing right away."
Yunho hugs you from behind, kissing your neck; first you're caught off guard, second, he's doing this right in front of everyone and third, his scent was driving you crazy.
"I'll help you." He mumbles against your skin.
"Yunho, you know the ground rules," Hongjoong threatens and the man who was sticking to you like glue before, now detaches himself from you in an instant. "So, less P-D-A."
"Ugh, ground rules," Yunho whines, but steals a kiss from your cheek. "I'll go get changed and you are staying over tonight. Let's have dinner together, shall we?"
"Of course!" San sings, "we'll get to know you better too. I bet Wooyoung would be pretty excited to know more about you."
"Speaking of him, where is he?" Hongjoong inquires and Jongho answers, "it's the peak hour, where else would he be?"
Hongjoong nods, getting his answer and Seonghwa sprints back into the kitchen not long before announcing, "we've got enough food for you too, so you're staying here."
You quietly agree to him and swallow thickly, striding over to sit on the lone chair adjacent to the couch. That's when Mingi comes into the room from upstairs, his hair tousled and messy, wearing grey sweatpants and a grunge green graphic sweatshirt. He eyes you as he crosses the living room, glaring at you to set his point through. He didn't want you here. But, he couldn't go against Hongjoong's or Seonghwa's wishes.
"Look who's finally out of their room!" Jongho cheers, laughing and joking around before clearing his throat and informing Mingi, "oh well, guess what, Mingi. I'm shifting myself back into your room. Angel's moving in with us and taking over the spare room."
"What?" Mingi grunts, burning his eyes on you, through you, in all hating your presence in the room altogether.
"Y'all really addicted to this whore's cunt, aren't ya? Keep me out of your fucking deal. I ain't getting involved." 
And that fucking hurt your soul. But you keep quiet and while you're at it, Yunho walks in the heated room—Hongjoong and the others are about to defend you when Yunho does it himself. He adorns a conceited smirk and folds his arms over his chest, they bulge out through his grey hoodie somehow, but your eyes travel down to somewhere where they shouldn't have. His jogger shorts are too thin to show off the outline of his cock, he wasn't hard, but he was huge. Why are you drooling on his cock when you're having trouble in paradise? Not that you hadn't seen his cock before. And you are his damsel in distress.
"That's more for us then, Min." Yunho steps closer to him and gets all in his face,
"If you're not involved in this with us, then it's one less person we'll have to share her with."
Tumblr media
M.list ┃ Previous ┃ Next
184 notes · View notes
stxrvel · 1 year
Text
the outbreak pt. 2
summary: you've kinda been into therapy and turns out it worked?
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
words: +4k
warnings: nothing really, i think. this is actually kinda fluffly. i was in a good mood.
note: i didn't planned on publishing the second part so soon, but i had a lot of free time and a mind running wild. still didn't liked that much how this chapter turned out tho. hoping i could make another part to see what happened to my girl wanda! see you guys in the next fic, love yall. the feedback is always appreciated! thank u for reading.
(if a part 3 never appears, just know this is an open ending)
part 1, extra: 1.5
Tumblr media
“So, how've you been doing these past few weeks?”
“You don't have to make small talk to me, Natasha. I enjoy the silence.”
“I ask genuinely. I barely even see you in the halls of the Complex. We only really talk on missions and we've had three since that happened.”
“Don't worry about me.”
“I just want to know how you're doing.”
You turned your head to look at the woman sitting next to you. The uncomfortable leather chair you two were in did nothing to appease the constant headache you'd been having these past few days. Natasha watched you with an arched eyebrow and her hands in her lap. You knew she was right, everyone was always right when it came to you. Apparently Bucky was right when he said everyone knew but you, and that spectrum extended to everyone always seemed to know how you were doing if only by the movement of your eyelids.
That's why you had begun to avoid people.
You spent more time in your room and in the Complex gym, doing research assignments for Fury that involved leaving the building, the three missions with Natasha (fully mandatory and against your will) and sometimes in the lab with Bruce when he needed someone to hold his canisters full of chemical liquids.
Fury and Bruce were the only people you tolerated lately. No funny looks, no awkward questions, no innuendo; just what they needed and goodbye.
But, that time, you did have to go out with Natasha. You weren't given the option to come on your own and it was understandable. A little bit. Even though you were trying to make amends for what you had done, not only on the mission a few months ago but also for what you had done to yourself for years, you didn't know that recovery meant you had to have a watcher on you at all times.
And what's worse, that watchman came with a bird.
“I'm fine, Nat,” you replied to her liking finally.
A short laugh from across the room caught your attention.
“Tell that to the tantrum you threw Fury so we wouldn't come with you.”
You gave Clint Barton a hard look, almost lying on the other longer couch as if he were admiring the earth from a cloud. He had one arm over his eyes which he had raised slightly to give you a mocking look, and one leg bent so that his foot was on the couch.
“I didn't throw a tantrum.”
“Fury, please, I know how to take care of myself. I don't need two bodyguards behind me all day. I'm fully capable of getting there and back on my own.”
Clint's poor imitation of your voice caused you an undercurrent of irritation, but you easily made the decision not to let it come out against him. It turns out that sometimes you could just shut up instead of exploding against others, crazy, right?
“First, I don't talk like that.”
“That's right. Lousy imitation, Clint,” Natasha had your back.
“Second, I only asked him once to let me come alone. I didn't beg him like a fool.”
“Sam told me otherwise,” Clint countered and you frowned. You felt the smile on his mouth.
“Sam's an idiot.”
“Sam's on Bucky's side,” Natasha mused.
And then, an awkward silence.
That was something you hated and still couldn't get used to. When people would say Bucky's name around you, the atmosphere would get strangely tense and suddenly everyone would go silent. It felt strange at first, but when Wanda did it you understood what was going on.
“Stop doing that,” you grumbled with a grimace. “I'm not fucking marble. I'm not going to crack from hearing his name.”
“We didn't say anything,” Natasha spoke again, her innocent little dove expression getting on your nerves.
Count to ten, Y/N, don't forget…
“You guys always go silent after you say his name like he's going to spontaneously explode. We're adults, you know? There are things to get over.”
“Wow,” you heard Clint mutter.
“Shut up, bird.”
Clint made a negative, game-like sound when you gave an incorrect answer.
“Three points off. Natasha and Clint are in the lead,” the man snorted as he rose from his position on the couch. You couldn't do more than give him another look, waiting for him to evaporate into thin air.
Natasha stirred next to you looking around at her surroundings, the dark colors of the room almost absorbing all the natural light coming through the few windows that were in the building.
“You haven't talked to him yet?”
“No.”
“Do you plan to?”
“I don't know. Maybe not.”
“Why?” Clint inquired, suddenly more interested in the subject.
“Because I don't feel like I give a s-”
Clint made the sound again.
“Two points off.”
“Clint,” Natasha reproached him with her tone of voice and the aforementioned only flashed her a smile. “It's been several weeks since you were last together. And you've had a lot of improvement-”
“That's debatable.”
“… don't you feel ready to talk to him?” Natasha questioned, completely ignoring Clint's intrusion into the conversation, again.
“I really don't know,” you admitted. “She told me I'm on the right track too, but just the thought of seeing him again after all those things he said… that I said…”
You sighed. Your gaze focused on the dark floor, a bluish-green hidden behind a black carpet with red, the most horrible carpet you had ever seen in your life.
“It scares me. I don't think I can do it.”
The woman let out an affirmative sound from her throat and the room became silent once again.
You almost let your mind begin to wander into memories, conjuring up the times when you felt like you were on top of the world when you were really about to hit rock bottom. But you quickly focused on where you were and what you were going to do there.
You were going to pick up Wanda. You had wanted to do it alone because it had been several weeks since you had last seen her. The last thing you told her was that you were going on another mission with Bucky and that you hoped it wouldn't end as badly as the argument you had that half the building heard. After that, she left.
She had made the decision to come and talk to Stephen Strange and had told you a few days before you left on what would be your last (official) field mission. She left the Complex the day after you left and all you had heard from her since then was that she was fine, that Strange hadn't locked her in a dungeon and that she was learning many things about her magic, especially how to control it to have power in things like her dreams. You still didn't know what those lucid dreams she had been having for a while had been due to, but judging from the letter you had received yesterday where she asked you to go to the Sanctum Sanctorum, it looked like she had gotten some kind of response.
When you told Fury what you were going to do, he didn't hesitate for a second to say that he would ask the Wonder Duo to accompany you. Clearly you balked, not as many times as Sam and Clint implied, but you didn't expose any more complaints to the Director's authoritative voice.
So, there you three were. Waiting for the wizards to appear from somewhere as you waited in one of the most horribly decorated rooms you'd ever seen.
“Sorry for the delay.”
The new male voice that echoed in the room startled you. You cringed and turned your head every which way until you came upon Strange's figure standing at the entrance to the room, not far from where you three were standing. Natasha and Clint remained unperturbed and you suppressed your desire to complain about the intrusion. You were the only one who hadn't heard him coming, apparently.
“Y/N!” you heard Wanda's voice.
You shot up from the uncomfortable couch the moment you saw her emerge from behind Strange's body. Quickly, you met halfway and melted into a big hug. You shifted from side to side trying to keep your strength and tears held back because of how much you had missed her.
“You look great!” was what she said to you the moment you parted.
“Don't lie to her, Wanda,” Clint exclaimed, and shortly you heard Natasha hiss in his direction.
“I've had better days.”
“I can't believe the day is here already! You have to tell me everything. What happened on the mission? What happened with Bucky?”
Again, the unpleasant silence.
“Why are you two making those faces?”
Wanda was watching the Wonder Duo right behind you and you couldn't help but let out a big exhale.
You turned to look at the only person who really gave a damn about your life.
“Thanks for everything, Strange.”
The man nodded in your direction. “It was my pleasure. Hopefully everything will be better from now on.”
Wanda waved goodbye to him as you turned around and pointed the other two people in the room toward the exit.
The other goodbyes were short and you were soon finding yourselves exiting through one of the portals opened by Strange, where you met the entrance to the Complex head on.
“Ah, magic. It makes life so much simpler,” Clint commented before starting to walk in the direction of the common room.
Natasha had the decency to bid you farewell and followed the bird's path at a tight pace.
“I thought they were going to join us,” Wanda mused, watching their figures walk away.
“No, they were just my nannies.”
“Nannies?” you saw her frown.
You watched the grimace on her face and almost have the urge to ask Sam to come give her a rundown of what had happened in the last few weeks since that last mission, but you mentally pulled back and offered a small smile to the confused woman in front of you.
“We have a lot to talk about.”
---
“Have you eaten today?”
The haze that clouded your mind slowly disappeared, your head barely registering the movements your body made to stay conscious. The soles of your shoes were too hard for your liking and you'd had to go sit down while you waited for Wanda to return. You didn't know how long it had been since that, but it seemed to be long enough for Steve Rogers to approach the cafeteria table where you were sitting with a tray containing the day's food.
“You look like you could use some of this.”
The blond gently pushed the tray until it was on your side of the table, and the smell of beef stew didn't take long to reach your lungs. It smelled good, to be honest. You looked down at the food and moved your hands to grab the silverware.
“Thank you.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I'm just waiting for Wanda. She went to talk to Fury.”
“I saw her coming in. She said she had a lot of things to tell.”
“She told me exactly the same thing.”
“And did you get to talk about anything before she left?”
You glanced at the fork in your left hand before looking up and meeting Steve's unconcerned face. You had learned very quickly that it wasn't too hard to get to know the captain in your position as opposed to how unreachable he looked to the rest of the population. He was a rough and tough man, but he would do things like bring lunch to a female shipmate who had a blank stare and sit down and try to chat with her.
He was good. Steve was good.
But he wasn't sneaky.
“If you want to know the verdict, talk to Strange. He's a close friend of Tony's.”
The man only sighed, his shoulders slumping in time with his breathing as if he'd been in alert mode all day.
“I didn't mean to sound so…. opportunistic.”
You rolled your eyes.
“You didn't sound opportunistic, Steve, you're just bad at trying to hide your curiosity,” you expressed with a small smile, but the man didn't look convinced by your words. “She's fine. She looks fine. She sounds fine. Whatever they had done, talked about or practiced, it surely paid off. I don't think you have anything to worry about.”
“She looked really scared before she left. You didn't see her. She asked me several times to communicate with you because she didn't know if it was a good idea to do that anymore.”
“She asked you that?”
“Yes. But the mission was very delicate, we couldn't risk it.”
You nodded in your direction, your gaze wandering back over the food.
“I just want her to be okay,” Steve mumbled and you almost missed the way his face contracted. His blue eyes found yours. “She's been through too much throughout her life and now this. It's like a joke of the universe.”
“She'll be fine. She has us. If she needs strength, she'll have plenty.”
Steve smiled, and then you took your first bite of beef stew.
You grimaced.
The blond frowned.
“Was the smell better than the taste, again?”
You nodded with your mouth full. Your hands went to the glass of water in the corner of the tray and you didn't hesitate to down the meat with all the liquid in it. You were almost never lucky enough to taste good lunches in that cafeteria.
“FRIDAY,” you heard Steve say.
“Yes, Captain.”
“Can you order a 12-inch tuna Subway on whole wheat bread with all the vegetables except the bell peppers and olives, please.”
“Right away, Captain.”
“That wasn't necessary,” you turned to the man as his gaze focused on yours.
“You can't go without eating.”
“I would have been able to place the order.”
“Mmm, really?”
“Of course! Do you think I waste the opportunity to spend Tony's money every chance I get? Even, I would have ordered more.”
“Oh, seriously?” Steve had a mischievous grin on his face and you furrowed your brow at his strange expression. “FRIDAY, make it three.”
You half-opened your lips.
“Sure thing, Captain.”
“Are you out of your mind?”
“What's with the attitude? It's Tony's money, isn't it?”
You hadn't heard that kind of boldness from Steve very often, and when it happened it was a complete event to witness. The man was a stickler, everyone knew him that way. He didn't understand the word rest and most of his free moments were only used to keep reconsidering attack strategies. Steve wasn't one to let loose and go with the flow very often, but when he did it was something to be enjoyed.
“You know he doesn't mind, right?”
And the moment was over.
“No? I thought he still hated me from lying to him about the book.”
“Uhm…” Steve fumbled over his words and you were amused at the way his features scrunched up. “He doesn't hate you. He was just angry. Besides, it's been a long time, he probably doesn't even remember that.”
“I think he's going to remember that until he dies.”
“Steve.”
You froze in place.
Abort mission. Abort mission. 911. Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Steve looked over your shoulder and then back up at you, your eyes on the embroidery of his brown jacket. You tried to keep your expression composed and sent him a smile of assurance that even you couldn't believe. But you couldn't do anything else. You couldn't break down at that moment. Besides, he would most likely ask the blonde to come with him and Steve would go. You wouldn't really have to deal with anything.
“He's really coming,” you heard Steve mutter in your direction.
Your face scrunched up in confusion, and you watched his expression of poorly disguised panic. You had told Steve only once, days ago, that you weren't ready to talk to Bucky at all. And, apparently, he had made it his problem too.
“Are you busy?”
You heard Bucky so close that a shiver ran through your body. It had been weeks since you'd last heard his voice. On that mission.
“No, I was just talking to-”
“Captain.”
But what was this, the all-call-Steve-at-once festival?
You sank back in your seat when you recognized the Director's voice. If he was there, it meant Wanda must be coming with him, and judging by the contractions in Steve's face, going from confused to incredulous to dumbfounded to flushed, your friend was most likely waving him out of there.
“A word, please,” Fury spoke again, and Steve barely let a second pass before he sprung out of his chair like a spring. He gave you a look and you could almost see the apology written in his eyes.
“Buck, I'm sorry- I mean, wait here for me.”
“What?”
“I won't be late, I promise.”
“I can wait for you in the living room…”
“No,” Steve contradicted him sharply. You caught a glimpse of his stiff expression out of the corner of your eye. “Wait for me here, can you?”
You didn't hear an answer, but you guessed it was positive when you saw Steve's face a little more relaxed. He looked back at you and barely gave you a nod before he started walking toward the exit. You turned in your seat to see him, and barely caught a glimpse of Wanda's triumphant face before she hid behind the back of a naive Fury as she saw your gaze on hers.
That woman really had no idea…
The chair Steve was occupying shifted and Bucky appeared in your field of vision. He was looking anywhere in the cafeteria before he was looking at you. And well, that was good, it gave you time to analyze what you had missed in those weeks without any communication.
He clearly looked calmer. Even though you two were forcibly put in an uncomfortable situation, he didn't seem to mind too much. He looked a little tense, you could barely make out a twitch in his jaw, but other than that he was pretty relaxed.
You didn't know how to interpret that.
The last time you had thought about seeing Bucky again (which was that very morning when Natasha brought it up) you thought that one of you would run away without even a second's notice. It seemed that the only one too scared about that reunion was you. Surely Bucky hadn't thought about it for a single moment since the last time you were face to face.
And his hair. He had cut his hair much shorter than last time. Its ends were directed to the ceiling and you could no longer mess it up if you ran your hands through it. It would rearrange itself in seconds. His eyes were still the same, clear and bright as the clear sky, his expression just as stoic and unperturbed, his body leaning slightly to one side with his hands clasped in his lap. Almost everything about him remained the same except for his hair.
And except he couldn't look you in the eye.
You looked down where the tray with the stew was still intact. You didn't have anything else to distract you with so you grabbed a vegetable and popped it in your mouth.
Turning your head away, you missed Bucky's gaze on your face analyzing the grimace of disgust you were trying to hide.
You swallowed hard and grabbed the water bottle so that it almost slipped through your hands. It was empty.
You almost threw up on yourself.
“Are you okay?”
You met his gaze and froze. His wary eyes were on your face.
“Yeah.”
“Doesn't look like that food is good.”
“Because it isn't.”
You shook your head and pushed the tray away from your personal space once and for all.
“Why don't you order something else?”
“Steve already ordered me something.”
“Oh.”
And silence.
You usually enjoyed the quiet moments, when no sound flooded the surroundings other than your own breathing and the ramblings in your head. You could really enjoy your solitude and the quiet it brought with it. But this silence didn't come with solitude, it came with tension, strain, uncertainty.
You didn't know if you felt you should say something or if you felt you should run away. If you stayed you didn't know what to say to him and if you left you didn't know under what excuse.
Bucky's light eyes met yours again after wandering his gaze for a while around the room.
“Wanda's back,” was what he said.
You nodded.
“We came with her this morning.”
“Yes, Steve told me.”
“We don't have to do this, you know.”
His neutral expression turned chaotic for a moment. Then he went back to being unflappable as if nothing.
“We don't have to do what?”
“This. Talk like it's nothing. It's awkward.”
“Ah. You find it awkward?”
You furrowed your brow at his genuine curiosity. For a moment you thought he was being sarcastic, but his eyes detailed your expression intently, waiting for an answer.
“Don't you?”
“Why should I?”
“Can you stop answering with questions, please.”
Bucky averted his gaze. He repeatedly ran his hands over his jeans.
“I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable I'll keep quiet.”
“Still, you don't answer my question.”
“It's not awkward for me,” he finally said, his slightly tilted head pointed in your direction. “It's just normal small talk. Between two people.”
You hummed a nod and your head moved in sync.
“It's easier for you to pretend nothing happened.”
Bucky shook his head, attentive. He narrowed his eyes and it didn't go unnoticed the way you tensed your shoulders as the words left your mouth.
“I never said that.”
“It's just what I can glimpse.”
“What you think you see is not true. I'm not trying to feign insanity.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot you're an expert at knowing what I think,” the words left you before you could process them and give them the proper filter, and you were sure Bucky had noticed the way your composure wavered for barely a second. If he had, he chose to ignore it.
You saw him twist his lips and lower his gaze, as if he suddenly felt distressed even though he wasn't the one who should be worried about something like that.
“You're angry.”
“And why would I be, according to you?”
“Maybe you were expecting a different reaction from me. You don't like what I'm giving you.”
You let out a laugh. “I never thought arrogant was your type.”
Bucky took in your gesture and mimicked it. Seeing a smile on his face after so long brought back images you thought you had sent far out into the ocean of your mind. Maybe you didn't feel your heart racing as it had so many times before, but you definitely felt something different from the fear and dismay that normally accompanied his memory. Even though you didn't want to accept it, you couldn't help but stretch a little towards that new sensation.
“I was joking. I have no idea why you're mad.”
The small smile on your face disappeared, and you allowed your head to wander down the paths of self-healing and self-improvement. Perhaps it was situations like these that your therapist always referred to. Stealthy confrontations that you usually used to avoid like rain, were the perfect moments to divulge a kind of self-reflection and improvement. To, perhaps, make known the emotions and thoughts you used to suppress and keep to yourself, the reason you had ended up that way to begin with. That was supposed to be what people normally did, to talk about their feelings…
So you just let it out.
“I'm not angry. I think I feel… embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed about what?” Bucky cocked his head to one side, his eyes scrutinizing your face as if trying to figure out if you were being serious or not.
“For confronting you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, Bucky. Here's to having you face me and confirming once again that you were right,” you rolled your eyes and took the moment to look anywhere in the cafeteria but into the blue eyes that wouldn't leave yours. “You were always right, I guess. No one else stood up to me like you did and I still lied to you looking you in the eye, wouldn't you feel the same way?”
The movement he made as he shrugged his shoulders drew your gaze, and met you with such a frightening familiarity that you felt old memories and feelings creeping up from the back of your mind to return to the surface. His calm gaze and tension-free body was what you had always been used to, and at that moment it was what you were seeing.
You didn't know how much you missed him until you saw it again.
“It's possible, yes.”
“The point is, knowing that doesn't make it any less complicated. In fact, it's a little harder to cope with. Being aware of the embarrassment… makes you more embarrassed.”
Bucky let out a short laugh. Your gaze didn't leave the way his corners turned up and then how his shoulders moved and his chest contracted in sync with that laugh. You hadn't noticed until that moment the change in the atmosphere around the two of you, much lighter and cozier, not at all hostile and toxic compared to the last few times you were together after the argument.
Mmm, maybe you were liking all that stuff about therapy. To be honest, up until that point you had discerned very few results, although some were quite important. Like, for example, you were able to keep your mind clear of self-destructive thoughts for longer, or that you could look at your past actions and reflect on them, determining clearly what things you were doing wrong and why it was wrong to do them. And there were many, many of them. Not just with the people around you, but more so with yourself.
However, in that moment, having Bucky in front of you and having been able to not only carry on a conversation for more than a minute with him, but also having been able to admit to him how you had felt and show true regret for what happened, you were able to understand that the change was much bigger than you had initially sized it up to be.
“It's serious. It complicates the process for me. That's why I didn't want to see you.”
He nodded without wiping the smile off his face. You could sense the understanding emanating through his gaze and, by the way he straightened his body, you knew he was going to give voice to the thoughts going through his head. Bucky usually kept his opinion of people to himself, he wasn't one to go around highlighting qualities in others unless he was asked or it was necessary for him to say so. Because of this, you could learn to tell when he was going to keep quiet about it and when he was willing to let it all out.
“Still, if it makes you feel any better, I can see you've come too far. Six months ago you wouldn't have said that to my face. I probably would have heard it from Sam who heard it from Clint when he eavesdropped on some conversation of yours with Wanda.”
You were really glad about what he just said, but…. what the fuck?
“Clint eavesdrops on our conversations?”
Bucky went blank. His features froze and the tension emanating from his body enveloped you both.
“Well… I only heard it once. Clint had said he'd upgraded the device for his hearing and was hearing three times as many things as he should. Among those things, he could hear you talking to Wanda in the next room.”
“I don't believe it.”
“There's nothing to tell you for sure that he did it again.”
“And how long ago was that?”
“Mmm, two years, I think.”
“Did he ever say anything to you?”
Bucky didn't answer for a few seconds, his gaze seemed lost in yours, with a solidity and strength too forceful for your tolerance. You suspected the answer was positive, but received the opposite.
“He only told me what had happened. He never told me if he understood anything he heard.”
“Uhm, you're good at getting out of tight spots.”
He gave you another one of those smiles that felt like home.
“I've had years to practice.”
The silence that followed his words was much more welcoming than before. You seemed to be able to move around the masses of air so freely that all the tension in your body could disappear in a gentle breeze.
“I'm sorry this was uncomfortable for you, but it was good to see you. And hearing you.”
“It wasn't that uncomfortable.”
“You're squeezing your legs under the table.”
You looked down, surprised, though you shouldn't be. Bucky had always been good at reading your body language. It was almost like it was his way of communicating. And yes, you were.
“You rocked from side to side. Your hands never stopped clenching in your lap. You were uncomfortable.”
“Still, I don't regret what I said.”
“I know.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
You had a duel of glances and you longed for that comfort you had been missing for so long. During those almost seven months of barely seeing him and not speaking to him, you had learned to appreciate the little moments in life. And you were surprised to think that before you thought you were living your life as you were doing at that moment, the present, but you were not. You learned the cruel difference between existing and living, and it wasn't hard for you to deduce why you had had such complicated moments in your life some time before.
You had never lived anything. You went through your life as a tourist and many times you weren't even in the picture. You tried so hard and constantly to convince yourself otherwise every day that it ended up tiring you out emotionally, and in the process taking everything out on the one person who tried to reach out to help you.
“Buck!” Steve's exclamation echoed throughout the cafeteria, just on time.
You turned to see him in the doorway, his raised hand gesturing for the man in front of you to follow him. Bucky stood up, but didn't leave before turning a glance at you with a warm smile worthy of summer.
“I hope to keep hearing from you more often.”
“We'll see if you're worth it.”
982 notes · View notes
whosmarii · 3 months
Text
Nefer.
Tumblr media
Summary:
Maybe the only way you can learn about your powers is with shock therapy. You didn't even know the extent they have. So S.H.I.E.L.D decided to send you on a mission they belived not to be Avenger typa deanger, they were wrong. Marc Spector case seems to be much more profound and obscure that it appears.
*This chapter is just a preface (it literally says prologue lol) so take that into account,
*Reader is fem and already has a name (you are Nefer dear), but you can like completely ignore that name and use yours.
Prologue.
It is 4am. You usually wake up at that hour, the training is beyond all bearing and you already state that you'll never use pills to the stress cause by it.
" You have to be able to control your brain on your own Nefer, if not, you'll have to be put down." That's what Nicholas Fury told you when S.H.I.E.L.D take you in. You think just like him, what it's going to be of you if your wellbeing depends on a pharmacist with a chemical engineering degree who just wants to capitalize on your suffering so that you buy more of his Lorazepam.
Anyways, he wasn't refering to that when he said that sentence. Nicholas meant that you need to be able to control your powers, so you can finally be a confirmed Avenger.
It's frustrating, seeing everyone around you having a symbiosis with their supernatural abilities. Even Peter with just 15 years did it in less than a week. But you couldn't do it in 19 years, not even when 5 of those years consisted on studying your might, a fucking failure.
In fact, if it weren't for Tony, Bruce and their test, today you would still not know the label of your powers. Apparently you can somehow work with Love and beauty but we don't exactly know the dimension of this. You always suspected it tho.
"Denisse could you take care of Nefertiti for a few minutes, please?" Said Carmela, Nefertitis mother, leaving the living room leaving no place for a response. "Aren't you the most cute girl hm?" said aunt Denisse looking right at the baby of 1 year old in front of her. The little girl stretched her arms to try and touch her belly. "Oh, you like my t-shirt? look it has color pink! you like color pink right Nefi?" Nefertiti smiled at her, trying to say something but failing because of her lack of speaking ability, still she managed to mumble some words, or an attempt of them. "baba- babs-bybybyby" "Baba? papa? you want your daddy? your dada? i'll go find him baby" baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. That was the word. baby, baby, baby, baby. "baba- babababa- byyy-baaaa by- baby-baby-baby" the child yelled the word alone in the living room. Of course the sound alerted the whole family making everyone run towars the living room, just to find Nefer repeting the word baby with her eyes closed. "I can't belive this... Anton, get the camera! Nefer is saying her first word!!!" said the mother of the little girl to her husband, kneeling in front of her to praise her for her intelligence. Meanwhile aunt Denisse remaind standing in the doorframe with a frown on her face. Nefertiti's first word was baby and she was uncontrollably saying it, now with her eyes open looking right on hers. A few seconds later Carmela notice the weird behavior, she thought that maybe Denisse or her husband were making silly faces and movements so her baby would look at them. But when she looks backwards the only thing she sees is her sister touching her belly. "Baby in here?" mutters Denisse while pointing at her belly. Nefertitis smile gets bigger and she starts nodding with her head. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Are you pregnant..?" "Yes."
Your mother would always tell you that story. How did you know your aunt was pregnant? no one knows, no, actually you do now. You guess that it is one of your abilities. You don't exacly know how the fuck could could you use that for an Avenger mission but at least you knew it was your thing.
Your family also told you storys about how you would talk about couples that weren't actually together and years later got married. At first everyone thought that maybe you could see the future but that wasn't it.
Or about the many times people would do what you told them to do just because you were the prettiest girl they ever saw. And i'm talking about an extreme dimension. People doing ilegal things on autopilot just because a pretty 7 year old girl told them to.
Bruce says that you have some type of higher intelligence when it comes to femenine aspects like fertility and love and that you clearly have some type of absolute beauty that if you learn how to use, it could be very powerful.
But for now, you are useless. You can't be on Avengers missions if you don't know when are your powers going to strike and in who are they going to strike. That's why you have to wake up at 4 am every day to train your powers. That's what you been doing for the last 5 years.
And that definitly has to change now.
23 notes · View notes
evilwickedme · 1 year
Note
You seemed sad that nobody's asked for jayroy fic recs. I want jayroy fics! I am a simple creecher with simple needs.
God what a mood tho. ngl I'm obsessed with these two
I've already recommended some of my favs in previous posts! here and here for your enjoyment
anyway here we go
ace-spectrum!Jason
one of my favorite hc and with a lot of support from the text imho; I have more of these these are just my favs
Kiss Me, Kill Me, Take Me Home - 5+1 times somebody kissed Jason, ace!Jason
Jane Austen Never Said Anything About Speed Dating - this one's pretty long. an au where Jason never died and is dealing with trauma from an abusive ex. again, outright ace!Jason and his ex absolutely raped him, so dark subject matter but it's still so good. Jason's brothers try to get him back in the game after the breakup and he ends up running into Roy at speed dating; they decide to fake date to get both their families off their backs. some nice Lian stuff here too.
Between These Pages (Is a Wonderful Place To Be) - ace!Jason gets extremely injured and Roy reads to him, cute little oneshot
(can you feel) the fire burning through your veins - nothing wrong with a little bit of self promo, right? this is demi!gay!Jason figuring his identity out and navigating his changing relationship with Roy. it takes place in a slightly alternate timeline where he's been to therapy for a couple of years and he never slept with Talia so it's his first time with pretty much everything. there actually is smut but it's Jason's first time :D
there is sex in this
I’ve Got the Feeling You’re the Right Thing After All - more poisonivory??? yes please!!! Roy's has had feelings for Dick since their teen titans days, but still ends up in a fwb with Jason when he's asked to help Jason run the iceberg lounge... somewhat plotty, smut in basically every chapter, so fucking good
Let me shipwreck in your thighs - we all have a thing for Jason's thighs, lbr
Arrows and Bullets - a two fic series. injured Jason falls into Roy's apartment and stays there until he heals. once again, some quality Lian stuff here. the sequel fic has some minor Jason-comes-back-home and surrounds christmas.
Boys Don't Cry - trans!Jason. I think this does have a minor plot?? I can't remember it's basically just fifty thousand words of marathon sex over the course of like at least a week
there's a middle ground between ace and outright smut actually
Some Kind of Disaster - this is actually one of my favorites and I've reread the whole thing more than once even though it's a mildly long series (although tbf I've reread longer). instead of outright dying at sanctuary Roy is just grievously injured and Jason runs to his side the moment he hears and refuses to leave. there's a lot of angst. one of the fics is smutty; halfway through the series Roy discovers Lian exists and that's where the plot really kicks in. so good
The Midnight Snow - Robin!Jason is in a time loop and Roy gets trapped in there with him
Flowers Are My Love Language - Jason keeps trying to get Roy to date him using flowers, and Roy simply refuses to get the message
Around Red Hood's Barn - Neighbors au where Roy and Jason are still partners as vigilantes, Roy just doesn't know Red Hood's identity, and Roy CANNOT STAND his new neighbor Jason. I love me some good identity shenanigans in a superhero fic
Magnet Tar Pit Trap - I already linked one cowboy au in the first fic rec (linked above), why not one more
other
remember how canonically Roy died in Heroes in Crisis? ow. I actually already rec'd my favorite one of these in the first Jason fic rec (linked! above!) so check that one out too
It is only, and all about Roy - I actually really regretted not putting this in the original fic rec (again, linked above). Jason shows up in Star City and ends up collaborating with Oliver. JayRoy is only implied but either way Jason is clearly deeply grieving Roy's death and so is Ollie
Please, come back - JayRoy were together before sanctuary and Jason grieves his death deeply. happy ending tho!
anyway yeah that's some good fics believe me when I say I could've rec'd twice as many honestly. unfortunately I had to stop somewhere so that's it for now
168 notes · View notes
Note
Vazhang hcs please!!
akshkekwndk YAY!
okay so like we agree that these two are, like, idiots in love
like fr these bitches istg. himbo energy to the mAX even tho neither of them actually are T_T it's just their vibe
anw leo loves tinkering and messing around with his toolbelt, right? it's a pretty popular headcanon atp that leo makes jewellery for whichever s/o he's being shipped with. and you know he does that for frank (frank had a complete breakdown one day—i hc my guy with severe anxiety don't mind me—and that anxiety attack was sort of the result of all the culminated stress of maintaining the image of the perfect praetor and leader and, in his head, grandson. i think grandma zhang, no matter how much good she did to him, still gave him a bit of a i-need-to-make-her-proud issue. so yeah, after that, he just let go and got a bunch ear piercings, a nose septum ring and tattoos. more on those later. its a minor rebellion, but its enough).
as i was saying, leo LOVES making earrings and rings for him, necklaces, bracelets, anklets and whatnot. frank loves every single one of em, but he's running out of space to put them all :/
frank lets leo try on his praetor's cape once. something about an enormous cape dwarfing his lil boyfie almost made him refuse to take it back, ever. leo now randomly steals it and sleeps on frank's bed with it. it makes frank melt.
frank calls leo "'nidas" and leo calls frank "fai"
frank's tattoos: he cuts himself sometimes when the anxiety gets too much, so hazel had drawn a butterfly on his left forearm, near his legion tattoo, and told him not to kill the butterfly. he knew the pen ink would fade and the butterfly would die anyways, so he got it tattooed, permanently, so that he can remember.
he also has a snake down his spine that moves whenever he does and leo just loves that.
leo ended up wanting tattoos too, so they got a matching one. for frank, it's the words "a love that moves the sun ..." across his collarbone and for leo it's the words "... and all the other stars" across his own collarbone.
leo also got a dragon on his hip and feathers on his heart ("hope is the things with feathers"—>hope is "esperanza"—>his mother).
their first date was at a mexican cuisine frank suggested, their second at a chinese restaurant leo came up with. they both think that's hilarious for some reason
frank has a skateboard leo can ride better than he can. frank complains about it often like "why can you ride that thing better than i can?!" "i can ride lotsa things pretty well you know 😏😉" cue frank smacking him
leo stealing frank's shirts >>>>>>>>
frank loves seeing him in his clothes so that works out fine
frank's favourite flower is the orchid so leo makes it a point to buy him some every valentine's day, birthday and christmas <3
leo's is roses because he's a sucker for clichés, so frank does the same to him <33
frank also loves jades, so when leo proposes to him (in a dramatic-ass way, you know it's true), frank's ring has a jade inset in the centre.
like i said, idiots in love <333
frank ends up quitting the legion at age 21 and they move in together in a flat in new rome. they have a dog (a king charles—oh, the irony...) leo insisted they name nacho. so they did.
they also have a parrot named deejay because the damn thing actually sings with the radio and leo finds that absolutely hilarious
frank just loves seeing him laugh, and it's so infectious that he just has to laugh, too
as i said, i hc frank with severe anxiety. it's clear that leo has depression, so they talk about their struggles and try to get through them together when therapy isn't enough
they're jus always there for each other, ya kno?
the first time they fight, frank sleeps on the couch that night, but neither of them actually get any sleep because they can't stand being apart and arguing. so the next morning, they just fall into each other's arms murmuring "sorry, sorry, i love you, i love you so much" and no matter how severe the arguments after that are, they never sleep apart
i think they adopt a son somewhere along the way. piper and shel have a daughter and don't want any more kids but her (they named her tara, which was what piper's grandpa tom would've suggested naming her had they not named her piper) so they suggest they name the lil guy jason, and after much deliberation, they do
because, did they want a daily reminder of who they'd lost? but eventually, they reasoned: we can name him jason, and he will live beyond sixteen. he will live a long, full life. we will let jason live a safe, happy life this time round, because he's ours
they also adopt a girl, whom they name emily hope
these are a complete mess with no particular order, they just came to me in a rush and a jumble. enjoy alsjskdjsmks
5 notes · View notes
me-uglypretty · 2 years
Note
*WARNING* this is going to be a long compiled mess of replies, so please take the time you need to respond and you don’t have to respond to everything : )
NO WAY I WATCHED DISNEY AND NICKELODEON RELIGIOUSLY TOO! ! ! (but also like, not me flipping through the files of all my favorite fandoms in my head before i go to bed trying to decide which universe to live in for the night… yikes or something aha *finger guns*)
MISS PEGGY CARTER DESERVES SO MUCH MORE AND CAPTAIN CARTER TOO!!! UGH I LOVE BOTH VERSIONS OF HER SO FREAKING MUCH! they totally nailed the old era vibe for the series, and i love the generalized aesthetic for that time era too so that was a major plus for me
ALSO STOP YOU’RE MAKING ME SMILE SO MUCH BY SAYING YOU LOVE MY ENERGY HAKSKDHN but i truly do love your energy too bestie <3
HONESTLY IF THERE WAS NO HEIGHT DIFFERENCE OR GLOWING LESBIAN I WOULD STILL WATCH THIS SHOW CAUSE OF THE DINOSAUR BUT THIS SHOW HAS ALL THREE?!?!! a big win for the gays i’m loving it
mmmm i’m sure i won’t like it in the beginning with feeling sympathy for parents but when a show succeeds in doing so, you know it’s a good show. so i’ll be open minded about it, even if it’s rich people problems lol
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BESTIE IM CACKLING “Her height went to her gay level I guess.” UGGGH I CAN’T BREATH I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD
((anyways yes all the parents absolutely need to go to therapy, and probably the kids too now, and i’m glad you don’t drive a prius or else i’d have to rethink somethings hahaha jk but yeah, they don’t give the best vibes a majority of the time))
(((HUUUUUUUUUHHHWA IK ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING AND I HAVE TWO MORE SEASONS AFTER THIS ONE SO LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHH)))
OH NOW I WANT TO READ THE COMICS EVEN MORE NOOOOOOWWW would you recommend reading them after i finish watching? and why yes, yes they are scientists… ((((man head is going to explode, there’s so many things to think about!!!))))
(((((yes, i agree with your mum. i’ve only seen him less than a handful of times yet this too will always be my response)))))
((((((people really do need to get with the times to get a better taste of all the true, great media that’s out there smh))))))
(((((((yes, i am getting the recommended amount of rest, maybe not in the right time frame tho, but i am getting it! thank you for asking : D i too can be unhinged when watching shows, but i have recently relearned the consequences of pulling an all nighter so i will not be doing so with this show. but my day was good, especially since i’m decompressing now by watching runaways! i hope you’re taking care of yourself and that your day/night is going to be good to!)))))))
Our mind??? I too pick which universe to live for at night (and sometimes daytime that I forget how I gotta exist in the real world???) AND I LOVE DINOSAURS LIKE I WILL WATCH IF THERE’S DINOSAURS AND THE QUALITY IS GOOD TOO cause some vfx is horrible (totally out of context but meet the robinsons’ t-rex is so cute)
I read the comics after watching 2 seasons I think? Cause I was waiting for the new season and decided to catch up with the comics. It kinda made me go “ahhh this is not the same AHHH WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT” but tbh, it’s up to you cause some things match up while some doesn’t (and comic tends to have heavy stuff which don’t end up making to live action).
And the show is kinda slow so I hope you have the patience cause sometimes it's like ya typical never ending tv series, but it's kind of nice to watch the basic shit with the superhero flairs and the glowing lesbian with her tiny girlfriend so it's also not basic??? i don't think i made sense but yes words
((I think WE ALL need therapy, but the parents especially dammit why don't all of them go get help))
(((I HAD FUN READING EVERYTHING LIKE THIS ENERGY IS WHAT I NEEDED WHEN IS STARTED WATCHING THE SHOW AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING OKAY!!!AND TAKING CARE AND DRINKING LOTS OF WATER)))
Thank you input runaway anon who forgot to sign off as input runaway anon
0 notes
billiedeanhwrd · 3 years
Text
when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air
cordelia goode x fem!reader
summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍
warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically
word count: 1.7k
Tumblr media
a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3
today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.
you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.
Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.
you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.
you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).
After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-
"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.
"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."
"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"
"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"
you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.
"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.
"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"
you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.
your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"
"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"
now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.
cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.
"baby, look at me"
her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.
"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"
you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.
you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.
after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.
"delia?"
"yes, my love?"
"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.
cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"
"no, never"
"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"
her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"
she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"
you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"
a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.
"i love you too, by the way"
cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"
you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.
And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.
215 notes · View notes
homieswithhades · 3 years
Note
you're one of the few i follow who talks about bucky and so here i am once again in your inbox because the whole way the MCU has approached bucky is just not it. you know? they wrote themselves in a hole. they don't know how to respond exactly with his popularity as a character and no homo'd his most important relationship so hard they're two dudes chilling in two different timelines because it's not gay. the whole 'made amends' thing is just wrong and terrible. bucky didn't do anything wrong! hydra did. hydra used him and yet the narrative has placed it on his shoulders. i enjoyed tfatws but i think there were quite a few odd character writing choices.
hiya !! lovely 2 see u in my inbox again <33
(two bros chilling in 2 different timelines cos theyre not gay killed me bdw)
oh 100% bucky has been mishandled by marvel, i wanna say since the very end of cacw. catfa bucky was splendid and amazingly written, super in character, like That's My Bucky.
catws bucky was obviously brainwashed but (even tho the russos had their grimy little hands on this one) again, amazingly written and handled esp thanks to seb.
it starts to go a little awry at the end of cacw. it was fine when bucky said "i dont know if im worth all this steve" nd steve replies "what you did all those years, it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice" bc this. THIS was the perfect way to be handling buckys trauma. and steve was the ONLY person who could do that. im sorry, but not even sam, whos a licenced councellor, could do that for bucky. the first red flag was before bucky went into cryo and NONE of his fears/feelings were dealt w beforehand. he just goes "i cant trust my own mind" and yoink into the freezer he goes! cacw wasnt terrible w handling bucky, but it did waste a lot of potential with discussing and exploring his character and what he went through. probably bc wuhhh a man cant have FEELINGS and GOD FORBID he show and express them in a HEALTHY WAY in a superhero movie !! (that should have been averngers: civil war, bdw. marvel u actually owe us ca:serpent society)
black panther end credits. what the fuck. is all im gonna say. russos overdosed on how can we make this guys "road to recovery" LOOK like its going like pure shit but not explain why, how, when, who and where.
infinity was a sorta a fucking joke iwel. there were some good parts like the steve and bucky reunion eg. "not bad, for the end of the world" (gives me catfa vibes 😭) and "steve?" being the last words bucky said before being dusted, ik bucky wasnt supposed 2 be the focus in this movie but the fact that they made him fight again after he was supposedly "cured" (see: "semi-stable 100 year old man") was cruel and lacked the exploration it needed to justify it.
endgame is self explanatory. shit movie all-round, pain for everybody in the audience!! it was more of a mishandling of steve rather than bucky, but if we're talking abt bucky specifically, he was more neglected than mishandled. not being bothered to do his metal arm? not showing us the convo he supposedly had with steve before he left? not showing us his reaction to steves joe biden cosplay? horrible. terrible, couldn't have gone worse. once again, seb did ALL the heavy lifting. he is 99% of buckys character.
all of this doesn't even take into account steve and buckys relationship. they are the absolute focal points of each other’s characters, and it was all not just swept under the rug, but the floor was then set on fire, the room burnt to a crisp, the house demolished and then launched into oblivion.
and now to adress what u actually asked, tfatws. i also enjoyed it, but that doesnt mean i think PERSONALLY that it was well written (and thats okay). i do understand it was supposed to deal w sam more than bucky, which it did, but if im being brutally honest, tfatws bucky didnt.... feel like bucky..... which isnt to say seb didnt do a good job, bc he carried what was left of buckys character from the writing, but it was like watching the wrong shoe being put on the correct foot, if that makes sense. bucky was treated like the bad guy, stoic and pissy. "guy with a staring problem", comic fucking relief. govt mandated therapy, constant dismissal, and being thrown back into a fights without it being acknowledged why first. i have no issue w characters who want to keep fighting regardless of trauma (see: john watson) but they NEED the verbal acknowledgement AND the right support system for that plot to be acceptable and sustainable. tfatws did none of that. they reduced bucky to Cap's sidekick again (even tho he wasnt steves sidekick, it feels like he is sams imo pls dont kill me 😭). none of what should have been dealt with was dealt with, because marvel tried to solve literally global, macro-scale problems without even acknowledging the ones at home.
as sweet and technically good the ending of tfatws was, it was badly writtten, at least for bucky. marvel will never climb out of the hole, to use your words, they wrote themselves into, because of 1) the thanos storyline, snap and blip (what the fuck marvel, genuinely) 2) timeline bullshit and 3) steve leaving.
its almost like his actual character development was put on hold for tfatws. it'll be forever up in the air, with no real closure, unless everything and more that i talked about is mentioned. he'll never have the ending he actually deserves.
please do remember, characters are supposed to have arcs, not 90 degree descents into the fucking ground.
34 notes · View notes
ratsoh-writes · 3 years
Note
I have a feeling I'm either going to get Honey or a Horrortale skele, so here we go for Matchups! -🍊
Personality
-introverted
-nervous/jumpy/sensitive
-artistic/creative
-very sleepy. I stay up till 5am and sleep till 2pm.
-helpful! I like feeling needed lol.
-sensitive. I have an abusive mother im in therapy for, so I need someone soft :(
Hobbies
-im very artistic! I love drawing, painting, listening to music, even making it, anything that keeps my hands busy and my ADHD at bay.
-minecraft! I've just downloaded the game, I've had it for a year now, and I love the building in it lol. The mobs scare me tho.
-rps!!! I LOVE roleplaying!!!! Rpg games, DnD, hell, I even have a few oc based text rps on discord I'm into. It gets me SO excited when I make up little stories with my friends, the gremblin in my enjoys shiny new universes
Dislikes
-Snarky/teasing/snappy jokes, or being teased in general. I'm a sensitive person who takes a bit too much to heart. Mal and Red scare me.
-loud noises/crowded areas. Another trama trigger for me, I feel trapped in a situation and it makes me paranoid. I'd rather sit outside and watch a thunderstorm than go to a local fair.
-being pushed out of my comfort zone and/or being forced to get in contact with family I've kicked out of my life, the whole 'well family is family!' saying means jack shit to me. I've put my demons at bay, I don't want someone to push me out of my comfort zone, or else I feel sick with nerves. I don't like traveling or being around a lot of people, I'd rather just text someone than see them face to face, words come easier then. Brain weird.
Deal breakers
-anyone who forces me to be social. I have anxiety, leave me be dammit. If someone kept pushing and complaining about it, it would make me feel guilty and blegh. Let's not go down that rabbit hole.
-cheating, I have a low image of myself, I don't need someone flirting with others or being all handy with them. Once the wound it made, I'm not letting the knife near me again.
-someone who yells a lot. Loud voices, especially male ones, make me panicked and scared. If Edge ever lectured me I would simply. Cry.
-someone violent, which is a given. Sorry mafia men, but blood scares me. I'm a wheeny.
-someone forcing me to change. I'm chonky, so being forced into a diet or something would make me think low of myself, I couldn't stay with someone like that. Or someone pushing me to get anxiety meds or giving me a bedtime. I like my independence and I'm working on myself, I don't need to be pressured to do it faster.
-passive aggressiveness, it makes me confused on what to say in an argument and that junk.
Flaws
-most of these have already been said, but I'm introverted with low energy, I don't like going to big events or traveling away from home.
-sensitive. Any jokes aimed at me can and will be obsessed over to oblivion, I'm not the teasing type.
-awkward. I was kinda isolated as a kid, so social skills are hard. Don't expect me to pop up on conversations all the time, I mostly listen to what my friends say and nod along.
-hygene. This is also something I'm working on. I've had depression episodes that sometimes still surface, sometimes it's hard to even leave my bed, let along brush my teeth, hair, etc. Some days I'm just not feeling it. I also come from a neglectful house, so I wasn't even raised with those habits. But I'm trying, and that's what I'm focusing on. Don't be like 'ewEwW yOu HaVeNt BrUsHeD yOuR TeEtH tOdAy?!' That's both hurtful and annoying, life sucks man
-god aweful at spelling, sorry rat
Attraction
-someone who's soft and caring. I never had a motherly figure, and I'm too old now for my dad to watch me like a toddler, so I want to feel the love I mostly missed out on. Not babied or anything, just loved and cared for. Hug me, please. Alternatively: aha mommy kink go brr
-cuddly/affectionate. I need to feel wanted, since I was raised in a house that I wasn't, so words of reassurance are really nice, especially if that person wants to be around me close enough to cuddle
I tried making this as neat as I could, since I tend to ramble a lot, so I hope this layout is easy to read! Tell me if I need to add any physics stuff, thank you for the matchup! -🍊
Alright, you were right on probably getting a horror lol. I think the best fit for you is……..BASIL (horrorswap papyrus)!
Here’s the tricky bit. Getting to know basil is here. He’s also extremely anxious, to the point where he’s practically non-verbal to anyone he doesn’t know. But once you do get close enough for him to crush and even confess, you’ll get to see a butch more protective and attentive side to him. Basil is a protector at his core and actually prefers a timid SO unlike honey who likes confident and organized characters.
Basil would be great at balancing between encouraging you to be your best self and not being too pushy. Gentle is basically his main personality trait. And considering who it is here, it’s hard to feel nagged with him being the one giving you those gentle reminders.
You like cuddles? You’re getting your cuddles. Basil is shy about touch so it’s up to you to initiate, but when you do, you’ll find that he’s pretty much touch starved. He likes having you in his lap the most. Basil has mild insomnia so cuddling with a SO is the best way to help him doze off
Basil hasn’t been introduced to the wonderful world of video games yet. Minecraft would be a great starter! If you manage to get him into it, he’ll wind up getting addicted to sims most likely. Or FarmVille. He likes chill games
One important thing about dating basil is that your basically going to have to go vegetarian. You can eat meat outside the house when he’s not around, but the sight and taste of raw meat is a trigger for him. Luckily he’s a wonderful cook and makes up for it in his baking and pasta ;)
I was also thinking of rust and possibly slim for you. (Yes I know slim is a mafia but he’s great at keeping his work hidden)
17 notes · View notes
angelvibezluv · 3 years
Note
Heyyyyyy Taé
You didn't ask for the what do you think of me/reputation but I will give it you for being so good to me😭
I also want to spread some positivity because things hasn't been easy and for you as well🥺
It's funny how your bio is always I get lost in the clouds?in the clouds you'll find me or something similar please don't be upset my memory is🤦🏿‍♀️
Interesting enough you remind me of the clouds,therapy a safe space. Sensitive and soft like a child but strong as a warrior. You try to protect yourself from all the hurt you have been through. You try to protect yourself from getting hurt again but do yk the funny shit, you remind me of me. How long did you have to act strong huh? You are funny and you just love making people laugh, no?. You see how people act and adjust accordingly, you try to hold back because you don't want to be taken advantage of again. Your sensitive side warning you in your head constantly huh. You have been through so fucking much and I am so sorry. Do you ever just feel alone?like no one would love the way you do or like you are always forgotten?
Do yk how reassuring you are? The way you comfort me with words even when I don't tell you whatever is wrong. You remind me of a mother but in this case a very good nurturing one. Bby love yourself, love yourself the way you love others please. You get hurt by the littlest thing but you brush it off . I love your poems BTW! You are so creative and that beautiful ocean you showed me yesterday? I still think it's a 10 out of 10. I love how we both love anime, the way you always want to get to know me I find that beautiful really. Sometimes I feel like we are so alike and when we have conversations im looking into a mirror. It's scary but I love it😭
Did you tell yourself you love yourself today?
Did you remind yourself that you are awesome?
Did you remind yourself that you are beautiful both inside and out?
Well if you didn't go do it rn😤
You aren't forgotten and you never will be . Look around you cause so many people love you for who you are and if they don't well fuck them their loss anyway.
Thank you for existing
I hope we can remain friends forever🥰💚❤
Ayeee what we is tho????(😂🤞🤞)
BYE WERE FORLIFTSSSSS 😭🤞🏾
Tumblr media
You really took the time to write all of this. I could cry but ain’t got no tears left to cryyyyyyy🎶🎵but no seriously I ran out of tears. YOU MAKE ME TEAR UP WAY TOO MUCH. Thank you so much for exposing me 🥳 …. You really get me <3 damn… and yes the ocean I showed you is way better than that other one I guess :’) *sniff*
I always think to myself how can I give back to this girl how much she gives to me. You know I always tell you that you deserve so much because it’s TRUE. I hope you know that you are so loving and giving. I hope that you’re giving back to yourself and taking care of yourself also. You’re always there for me whenever I’m down, I feel so comfortable with you, and I don’t usually share the things I’ve told you to a single soul. Anyway what I’m saying is that you’re such a trustworthy person. You’re always there when someone needs you and you always know when something is off. Like your intuition is at 100. Every single time I can’t fake a single emotion with you💀. You just know. You’re so funny, encouraging and caring. Super supportive too. You are so protective of the people you love, I feel bad for those on the receiving end too💀a scary fucking sight. But I love it and I know not a single person could hurt me if you were beside me. BUT ID ALSO DO THE SAME FOR YOU. Let someone try you and watch what happens. ALSO I’m glad we’re so similar too. It would be so difficult if we didn’t have anything in common, I love the fact that we both love anime tooo!!!! But yea I do try to protect myself sometimes I don’t really trust the things that people say to me, but I feel that this is genuine and what we have is genuine. ILY OMG. We will remain friends for as long as possible.
Heart :) >💙 cuz I’m an awkward shit. Ily cc.😙
16 notes · View notes
Note
'Family support's just so wholesome, i can't! Your writing's great 💙 i have a request (tho it's more than fine if you're not taking them/ don't feel like doing this one): bau!reader losing a loved one, not telling anyone and throwing themselves into work but masking it up pretty well so no one notices how broken they are until after a though case reader falls asleep on the jet and has a nightmare, reid puts 2 & 2 together and comforts them.. idk just feeling a bit moody today, hope u r fine 😊
Hold you in my arms
Tumblr media
A/N: hey! I'm glad you enjoyed family support! Im glad you also enjoy my writing thank you so much! im sorry I took forever to write this one up! Hopefully its what you wanted. I did kinda rush the case so we could have Spencer and reader content, so sorry if it is rushed and bad. hope you enjoy this one!
TW: family member going through cancer.
things to know: the italics in the beginning are going through the death of the brother, and near the end is the dream. regular font is what happened or is happening how ever you want to put it.
You were a really private person, for the most part, but with your team, they knew mostly everything about you. Which knowing them for years was okay with you. As long as they didn’t know any more details you were fine with that. Your family meant everything to you and you wanted them safe. You never wanted to be the reason they were tortured or even killed.
However some things that caused death weren't your fault completely. Your brother was getting near to death. He’s been fighting leukemia since he was 15 and recently it's been getting worse. You stayed with him the days you didn’t work or didn’t get called in. Lucky the last few days you had with him you only had paperwork to finish.
The team noticed how fast you would complete them and how detailed and well written they were so they thought nothing of it. Spencer though he noticed despair and worry, but he didn’t say anything since you two were only friends and if you had something to tell him you would reach out.
“Is she okay?” Prentiss asked as the team shrugged. “Yeah Spence is she alright seems like something is up?” Rossi said as Spencer shrugged not knowing what was wrong with his best friend and “secret” crush. “She hasn’t said anything or talked to me, she’ll probably talk when she’s ready” he said as that left the team with that and spending their own free time the way they do.
You would walk into the hospital with two thoughts in your mind. “He’s alright he’s okay, he’s fighting” or “it’s too late you work too much and now he’s gone” and when you would enter the room relief was hit and you saw him eating or watching tv.  
You two would talk and spend time with one another, but he would beg you to go back to work and not worry. “Matt, no I'm staying until they call alright? You said as he held your hand. “Please go back to work I’m fine, I know you’ll make it in time once my monitor goes crazy” he said as you glared at him. “Don’t say that, I’m staying.” You said as he gave you the look your mother gave you. “Ugh fine I’ll go, but you need to call me if anything happens.
Like that you would go back to work and finish even more paperwork. Like nothing was wrong. You were sad inside but you didn’t show. You were strong, well you had to be, your brother was told he was gonna live for 2 months and he just passed his 1 month, this scared you. You couldn’t lose him now. He was your other half considering how young he was. Why do good people die young and terribly?
When that day came, you were called by your mom. You were home so you quickly left your home not even worrying if you left something on, your main focus was your brother. Seeing him alive when you go there.
Once you got to the hospital you arrived and saw them resuscitate him. They gave you a look that said, he wasn’t gonna make it and you needed to say goodbye. Your parents were sitting in chairs while you held your brother in your arms like the first time you met him. He was just your little baby brother and you knew he was gonna do great things.
Memories of you and him passed through your brain like one of those movies. The good and the bad. As the monitor went flat he was gone, your baby brother was gone. Tears just flushed through your eyes not caring if some got onto him. All you could do was hug him and let him rest the way he wanted to. In your arms.
“It’s okay, it’s time for you to rest.” You said as you kissed his head and held on for a while longer.
That was the last time you saw him. You currently got back from the funeral, and you changed so the team didn’t notice anything. As you walked over to your desk you got a new picture frame out with a picture of you and your brother when you were 10 and he was about 3. You smiled at the way your brother smiled.
“Y/n” someone said. “Y/n? You alright?” Spencer said as you looked at him. “Yeah Spence sorry I was just thinking. What’s up?” You asked as he smiled. “Well we have a case, so let’s go?” He said as you smiled back and headed to the conference room.
The case introduced was about an unsub killing young 20 year old males. Most of them were either in college or working for their families. They were good people but they were just killed for no reason. Which made you think of Matt. What if….no stop it.
As you debriefed the case you were headed to New Orleans. As you got your go bag you were met by spencer who was waiting for you per usual, spencer noticed something stopped you. “y/n? You okay?” he asked as he startled you and you blinked many times not knowing he was there. “Yeah im okay, uh just thinking.” you said as he hummed. “Alright..oh is that a new picture?” he asked as he grabbed the new frame with your picture. “Actually it's an old one, i just thought i could have another picture you know.” you said as he nodded. “Yeah, i do, is this your brother?” he asked as you nodded. “Yeah i was 10 and he was about 3 years old in that photo, it was the first day of school for the both of us, he was going to preschool and i was going into the fourth grade” you said as he noticed your sincere smile. “Is he doing okay?” he asked as your heart stopped, but you knew you had to lie, you didn't want to bother him. “He's fine, going into his fourth year of college,” you said as he nodded, but he read through your lie, you thought your heart stopped internally, but your whole body shifted and he knew something happened. you then were interrupted by a hotch. “Guys we should get going, seems like they need us earlier than i thought.” he said as you nodded heading over to the jet.
As you read through the file you were still thinking about Matt, you knew he wanted you to work instead of grieving for him, and you were gonna do that until it was gonna finally break you. You just kept thinking about getting privacy to let the tears to come out.
As you landed, you had to talk to the family of the recent victim. As you got there you saw them break down, not only did you lose someone, they did too. As if your instincts were nagging at you, you walked in to talk to the family, understanding completely what they were going through.
After talking to the parents, they told you Jerry was sick. He had been going through some type of chemotherapy and he didn't go to his last one days before getting kidnapped. That was weird, maybe the unsub knew who they were. But you didn't really know how to back that up with so you called garcia.
“Hello my beautiful princess, how may i serve you today?” she asked as you smiled. “God pen, never change,” you said as she hummed. “Not in any world my love.” she said as you looked down at your file. “Hey can you see if any of our victims was going through some type of therapy, like chemo?” you asked as she typed away and you waited.
Maybe this was some type of coincidence, like god was giving you a chance to save someone, after losing someone.
“Woah, uhh, our first victim, David, had thyroid cancer, and our other two victim, had leukemia. How does this connect?” she asked as you sighed. “Our latest victim had some type of cancer and was going through, chemotherapy.” you said as she sighed. “God why would someone kill someone who is going through a hard time?” she said as you sighed as well. “I don't know love, that's what I'm gonna figure out.” you said as she hung up leaving you to tell the team. You walked over to where everyone was standing and they seemed to pay attention before you began to talk.
“So all of our victims went through some type of sickness that involved them to get chemotherapy, what if our unsub is going through that and by killing them they are taking their place by getting some chemotherapy.” you said as they all shuffled looking through.
“That could explain why they didn't have certain belongings with them. And could explain why some didn't have their id.” Morgan said as you nodded. “Alright well call garcia to widen her search, good job y/n” hotch said as you nodded. “And this person might be working near any of the hospitals, our victims went to.” you said as they all nodded and you were getting ready to deliver the profile.
While this happened you got a call from your mother. You quickly picked it up leaving the room. “I'm sorry I have to take this.” you said as hotch nodded and you went into a hallway.
“Hey mom? Everything okay?” you asked as she hummed  “i am, its just i really hate to bother you, but i can afford the funeral i only paid half of it... And i don't wanna ask you for money-” she said, stumbling over her words as you cut her off. “Mom hey, dont worry about that, let me give you my credit card information all right? Tell them to send me the bill to my apartment. You don't have to worry about it alright?” you said as she sighed and sobbed. “Okay, im sorry...its just i saved up money for college but it wasn't enough and i know you do-” she said as you cut her off again. “Mom don't worry about it. I had some money saved up for him too in case he needed something. It's fine mom.” you said as you kept reassuring her. You then met the team again as they had a lead.
“Hey sorry it was my mom.” you said as they found a guy who lost his family because his wife had left him for his best friend, he was then told he had lung cancer and didn't have insurance or enough money to pay for his treatment. He was recently seen at the same hospital all the victims were at, and that meant he was getting ready for his next victim. He also worked as a janitor at the hospitals, which explained how he got the information from them.
You and Reid were sent to his house as the rest of the team was sent to the hospital. As you got there you noticed the lights were on. “You check the front while i check the back.” he said as you nodded. You had a police officer behind you as you cleared the house. Everything seemed clear, but the odd things was why were the lights on. He probably left in a rush.
You both checked everything as found and he had schedules of the patients. He also worked in many hospitals which explained how he met the other two victims. Reid called hotch and gave him the address to the hospital next on the list. It was most likely he was just living here because you didn't find any bodies in the house, but you still searched outside his house.
You were walking around the back as you noticed humps in the ground...oh no. “reid! I think i've got bodies” you said as reid came along with a dog and they were sniffing and barking. “Yeah he definitely killed them here. Morgan and prentiss just found a shack a couple miles away from here and all their clothes and stuff are. Where is he though?” he said as you nodded.
You ended up finding him in the hospital reid found next on the list. They ended up getting the guy and taking him to the station. He was in the interrogation room and hotch let you take him. Reid was with you and you just stared at the unsub.
“You ready?” he asked as you nodded. He walked over to the door entering the room as the unsub looked at both of you as you sat down. “So uh mark? Right?” reid said as the unsub nodded. “Yeah, can you tell me why I'm here?” he said as you looked at Reid and he let you take the lead. “Well mark, your property is filled with missing people who were filled missing, you know, because their family cares about them. Why did you kill them?” you asked as he scoffed. “Please my family cares about me.” he said as you glared at him.
“Really mark, they do? Then why aren't they here? We know your wife left you for your best friend and he matched all the victims appearances. You killed innocent boys who were just starting their life. You're just mad that their lives were settled and not yours.” you said as the unsub felt uncomfortable that you knew all that.
“Mark, we know you killed them because you were eventually gonna kill your own friend.” reid said as he just shook his head as if he was going crazy.
You two were just throwing the truth at him as he exploded.
“I had to do it! They were gonna ruin someone else’s life too! I couldn't let them go through that.” he said as you too got your confession, not that you needed it.
“Look mark, we didn't need this but we got what we need and i hope you get what you deserve.” you said as he yelled, “you don't even know what they felt. Why do you care so much!” he said as you stopped in your tracks and turned around. “You know what i do, i know what it's like to lose someone, they were already suffering so much, and you ruined it more for them. They had more time, but you didn't care. If you really care, family is important, and losing one is even worse, especially from sickness. Knowing that i couldn't do anything hurts. You're the one who doesn't know. You only know what it felt like to kill them knowing you were gonna live and they were gonna die.” you said leaving as reid and everyone behind that mirror just heard what you said.
As you got back on the jet, you were so tired you fell asleep right away. You were just so tired you didn't know what to do.
You were running through the unsubs home and noticed a body that looked familiar. It was matt. You quickly ran over to him and saw his face. He was already dead. You then were tied up seeing the unsub shoot him over and over. “NO! Matt, no! You had more time! Why!” you said.
“You had more time….why did you kill him…” you mumbled as you were moving around a lot and crying. Reid noticed and he quickly put his book down as he shook you up. “y/n...hey it's just a dream...y/n'' he said as you woke up with tears falling out of your eyes. “Im sorry, sorry.” you said as you wiped your own tears away. You sat there in complete silence. You were comfortable so it wasn't awkward.
You then saw the way Reid looked at you, which was the look that told you he knew what was wrong. You sighed in defeat as you asked him. “How do you know?” you asked as he half smiled. “Well today when you mentioned Matt, your mood changed, and I knew something was wrong, and you also wanted to comfort the victims family. You seemed like you knew what they were going through. And when you told us about the victims being sick, you seemed really sad for them more than a regular person would be and when you talked about losing family, I knew something was up.” he said as you nodded. “So you profiled me huh?” you said as he nodded and gave you a sincere smile
He was waiting, but he spoke first. “y/n i'm here for you, just know that, even if you feel alone i'm here for you always.” he said as you nodded.
He was about to get up as you spoke. “Matt died...two days ago...and the funeral was today, and i'm not okay.” you said as your tears fell out. Spencer held you as he wiped your tears away. “I'm so sorry, y/n.” he said as you shook your head. “spence its fine.” you said as he nodded, but he knew it wasn't fine. “Its just...when he died, i held him in my hands. I was there when it happened.” you said as he felt very sorry that you had to go through that.
“Im so sorry. Here come here.” he said as he opened his arms so he could hold you. You were thankful for Spencer, he was always there for you and you were glad he was there for you for this. It made being able to grieve much easier.
129 notes · View notes
The kids pt 2
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
BB: we're back all you weirdos that enjoy senpai's blog! Here again to show you the kiddos with this convoluted lore dump of post Chaldea life for senpai and his family!
Mari: please, stop talking in such a stupid way...
BB, ignoring her: a lots happen since the last time we did this! We even learned where lovely lil Maria's name came from. And daaaaww, wasn't that a sweet story?
Ed: BB, can we please get started? Sis is eyeing that water bottle and I'm afraid of what she'll do with it and our computer if you don't hurry.
BB: fine fine! Dang Mari you are just no fun huh? Anyways, just like before we're discussing the others who got a second chance at life and how they're viewed through the eyes of these two! So who first? How about, my lil darlings! The first 3 members of the Sakura 5!
Mari: why only the first 3?
BB: spoilers!
Mari: stupid. Well we've seen that Melt became a famous ice skating performer. We don't see her much but the few times we do it's pretty nice.
Ed: sometimes she acts like a big shot celebrity out in the open, but she seems more humble around us.
BB: yeah, that's melty for ya. I gave her a good amount of tsun! Have you seen the picture of her before this tho?
Mari: yeah... pretty weird. Why did you give her huge blades for legs and no hands?
BB: I guess it's just a part of my twisted lil personality!
Ed: and you wonder why Mom wants you gone from our computers.
Mari: and Lip seems happy, she's found love with someone, and her partner seems to truly love her. So that's nice.
Ed: and she's changed even more from before. No huge metal claws and a slimmer body.
Mari: again, wtf BB?
BB: pls stop asking me questions.
Ed: and Protea is also happily in a more normal body then before. But for her it was just too big.
Mari: she still acts like a Kaiju sometimes.
BB: yes, those three are in such happy lives. As their mother I'm so happy for them.
Mari: stop lying or I'm pouring root beer all over the computer.
BB: do not! Moving devices is a pain in the ass!
BB: *sigh* anyways, whose next? Hmmm... what about lil miss Gorgon?
Mari: we don't see her much, the only times we do she's forcefully dragged by mom and her friends.
Ed: and she's always hiding her face and such. She has self esteem issues for some reason.
BB: yeah, and those reasons are called "Stheno" and "Euryale"
Mari: such shitty sisters. Where do they get off messing with 'Dusa about her height?
BB: who knows?
Ed: she isn't even that tall... mom's taller and she's never self conscious.
BB: have you not heard the heaps of praise your father gives her about that?! It's so much I get sick hearing it!
Mari: oh be quiet! What I wouldn't give to have such a beautiful relationship!
Ed: woah! This is the first time hearing you say something like that!
Mari: ...well yeah... when I was young I kinda did that silly kid thing of being grossed out by their affection. It was so much I honestly thought they overdid it in front of us just to mess with us. But growing up... and seeing them still like that and the old videos from Chaldea and how everyone else talks about them... that's real genuine love! I hope one day to find a partner like that.
Ed: yeah, I'm so happy we were born into a genuinely loving family! Sometimes I hear stories of kids born because their parents thought it'd save their relatives, when they should've gone to therapy or something instead!
BB: this conversations nice and all but can we get back on topic? It's almost time for you to walk the lil mutts.
Mari: right... now who?
BB: well speaking of mutts, what about that lil dog Lobo?
Ed: lil!? He's huge! Biggest wolf I've ever seen!
Mari: and they said he was bigger back in chaldea too! Like holy crap!
BB: yeah, he got huge.
Mari: now he's at this wolf sanctuary and seems to be fine with humans now.
Ed: yeah, and he's found a nice mate again. White just like La Blanca!
Mari: you think he used his grail wish to be reunited with her? And she's the same wolf?
BB: why wouldn't that be cute? Anyways, let's do one last servant. Hmmm... actually! Why don't you talk about your dear 'ol mother?
Mari: mom? OK, I guess technically that'd fit.
Ed: well after she reincarnated she became a famous luchadora! She was an unstoppable force in the ring!
Mari: yeah, she was unbeatable! Never suffering a single defeat for her whole career!
BB: buuuuut! She retired! Care to say why?
Ed: well... after she became pregnant with us... she had to leave the ring.
Mari: and... the responsibility of taking care of us didn't allow for time to return to fighting... so she hasn't come back since.
BB: yeah, that's the thing about childcare, it can get in the way of other things.
???: BB, you better not be messing with the children!
Tumblr media
Mari: oh hey mom!
Ed: what's going on?
Quetz: it's time to walk the dogs, come on your father's already outside!
Mari: crap! Sorry!
Ed: we're going now!
After the kids went out, Quetz had more words for the ai.
Quetz: you just can't help but try to mess around huh?!
BB: all I did was tell the truth! Can't control their reactions!
Quetz: do this again and I'm burning every device you've been in! I don't care if we lose some data, you're gone if you go too far!
BB: fine! Don't need to take it that far!
Quetz: this is you were dealing with here
Rex, from outside: mi corazon! Come on!
Quetz: coming!
Quetz then goes outside to join the family
A/N: more of the kiddos. Along with what Quetz got up to in between this and Chaldea. BB can get a bit too Mischievous at times.
Tags
@hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @nureenarts @kierakaz @valiantstrawberrymilk
11 notes · View notes
darknessisafriend · 3 years
Text
Finally I found you again
@sonrisa-yk​ Hiiii💖 can I request a fic? About the Abbé de Coulmier, maybe? I don't know how it works, but I'd like to know if its possible a oc insert: my oc is called Lucille Chagall, is two years older than the Abbé, she's his childhood best friend. Like, they have a romantic and sexual tension tho -////-. If possible, can you make it nsfw? If not, it's okay :) i will love it anyways
I love you and your content, dear💖💖 have a good day!
Tumblr media
Hey darling, I hope you will enjoy it and that it will make you happy <3 
The Abbe couldn’t stop smiling today, and all his employees kept wondering why, not that he wasn’t easily joyful but today, he literally seemed excited and head in the clouds. And how could he not be? A few weeks ago, he had received a letter from his childhood friend, Lucille Chagall, she had heard about his position as the Director of Charenton and contacted him, after so many years apart and without news, it was a great opportunity to catch up. And after exchanging many letters, she had announced him she would visit him, and it was finally today.
He wondered what she looked like now, a grown-up woman who made him blush as a child already and made him wish for a kiss. Except now things were different, he was a priest, and perhaps she was even engaged or married.
“Abbe, a carriage is arriving.” Informed him Valcours and his heart skipped a beat, here’s what will answer to his questions. Unconsciously he smoothed his cassock and made sure his hair were nicely combed. And he waited on top of the front stairs, ignoring the whispers of a few of his maids who tried to imagine why the Abbe was so joyful and wanted to be so perfect, and of course the rumors could only grow when a young woman stepped out of the carriage, wearing a white dress with a light blue band on the bottom part and a shawl around her shoulders. He swallowed down, how much she had grown, she was even more beautiful than he remembered.
“Lucille.” He said, just loud enough for her to hear him, and her eyes landed on him, she could have almost not recognized him. She remembered a little boy who was so joyful and often messing around, and now she had in front of her a handsome man, wrapped in that straight cassock which reflected the so many responsibilities on his shoulders, duties to himself, God and those around him.
“Francois? Oh sorry, Abbe de Coulmier.” She apologized, blushing, she had to get used to that title. He chuckled, approaching her.
“Come on Lucille, we have known each other for years, you can still call me by my name.” he spoke kindly, she noticed how calm and thoughtful he had become, and that added even more charm to the man. “I hope your trip to come here wasn’t too bad.”
“Alright, go for Francois then! And yes, the trip was okay, I only live two hours away and this part of the countryside is beautiful.” She answered, her cheeks pink, that voice combined with this beauty, he was the most handsome man she ever encountered.
He guided her inside the Asylum, showing her the work he did there, art classes, a theatre, his little Heaven of peace. Art therapy for the patients, gentleness and benevolence were the key words here. Lucille was slowly understanding the boy she appreciated so much hadn’t disappeared, he was still so joyful, even playful with his patients, he hadn’t changed so much after all, he had become a wonderful man and her feelings for him which had never disappeared were now growing. What a shame he was a priest with chastity vows, she was a young woman fully in the age to marry.
“Have you never missed anything since you entered Monastery?” she couldn’t help but ask, after all at 10 years old, he might not have understood all the sacrifices he would have to make. He smiled, turning to her.
“Gluttony.” He whispered mischievously, making her giggle, it’s true that he had a little tummy and full cheeks as a kid, now he was thinner.
“Just gluttony? Have you never fallen in love? Wished to marry or have children?” she asked, curious, even if he lied, she would see it. As for her, she wished to find her future husband and he could have been perfect. He tilted his head to the side, curious as to why she asked that particular question.
“Oh well…I am still human, and any man one day or another imagined himself as a husband and father. But my love for our Lord was stronger.” At least when he made that choice. Lucille noticed he hadn’t answered the question about falling in love, a meticulous man like him must have purposely ignored it, which lead her to think…was he currently in love?
“Abbe are we still having lesson tonight?” asked a young and beautiful maid who passed by, slightly younger than him, he looked at her tenderly and smiled.
“Of course, Madeleine, I would hate to miss it.” He replied, making her blush. Okay, there was definitely something. But Lucille, shook her head, what was she thinking? Suddenly so keen on knowing the relationship of the maid and the priest and feeling almost jealous of their sweet interaction. The maid smiled at him again and then at Lucille before leaving them.
“Would you like to drink a tisane?” he suddenly offered to his childhood friend, to be honest he hadn’t seen her in such a long time and he had waited so excitedly for her visit that he was a bit shy now, he couldn’t explain why, it was as if he wanted to please her.
“Yes, with pleasure.” She nodded, secretly hoping that they would find themselves alone in a room, to face completely the real Francois and hoped to know more about his romantic life if there was one. The priest guided her to the kitchens and luckily no maids or cooks were there at this time of the afternoon. Francois motioned for her to sit down while he prepared the tisane. Lucille sat and observed him, the way he held himself, he was elegant, delicate and yet…she felt there was more to it, as if inside he held some raw passion, or perhaps that cassock was turning her on more than she dare to admit. She was so deep into her thoughts that she didn’t notice the Abbe who felt her gaze on him and turned his head to look at her and quickly looking back;  he blushed, her gaze on him was the most destabilizing, worse than Madeleine’s eyes on him. His heart was…fluttering? God what was wrong with him!?
“And you Lucille? Are you married?” he asked, not without interest, he shouldn’t, but his curiosity got the best of him. She opened her mouth, slightly taken aback.
“Huh no, not even engaged…I am afraid I didn’t find the right man…yet.”
“Oh…that’s unfortunate.” He replied but somehow, he felt some sort of relief, as a child he always threw a tantrum when he saw boys around her, probably a remnant of those old times. “Is it…because you rejected noble life? Or you are looking for a marriage of love?” he was observant.
“A bit of both.” She chuckled “The truth is, I always had a certain man in mind, not the most accessible one, and I can’t let go…even less now.” She looked at him, she had missed him, and each second that passed and the urge to hug him, touch him, was getting stronger. Even more as he approached her with the teapot and cups, sitting down next to her and turning to face her, their knees almost touching. The Abbe briefly passed his fingers between his neck and collar, as if he felt too hot, he shouldn’t sit so close, and yet he wanted to be closer, caress her skin, perhaps even kiss her...he didn’t know what was wrong with him but those were  dangerous thoughts.
“Who…who is he?” he asked, trying to hide his jealousy the best he could. She looked at him in the eyes, why such an intrusive question? How could she tell it was him without saying his name?
“Well, he is a gentleman, intelligent, altruistic, sophisticated, devoted, respectful of woman, children and the weak…” she described enigmatic, but with a lovely smile.
“Sounds like the perfect man.” He said ironically, what kind of man was so perfect?
“Well he is not devoid of flaws but to me he is perfect.
“Oh and what are those flaws?” he asked, eager to know this man.
“Possessiveness and gluttony.” You chuckled softly, nostalgic, he could be really adorable, even in those. And hearing those two words he frowned, two flaws he had. She was in love with a man who seemed to resemble him a lot, and he felt jealousy growing in his chest, forgetting for an instant his situation, why not him?
“Who is he? Would you give me his name please?”
“Oh Francois I can’t…” she looked away, embarrassed, she was probably getting herself in a situation where he would push her away.
“Why? Don’t you trust me Lucille? I take confessions, it is part of my duty, whoever this man is, I won’t judge you.” He insisted. She shook her head, he didn’t even recognize himself in the description, was he actually dumb or had she been stupid in hoping he would react. She got up, ashamed and intending to go away but before she could leave, the priest caught her hand, calling her name, his skin against hers was burning.
“You want a confession Francois? This man I’m describing it’s you.” She let out with frustration, at those words, he let go of her hand, his eyes wide and mouth open.
“Before seeing you again I thought it was just the remnants of childhood feelings but it’s not. From the moment I saw you, when you greeted me on the stairs of this place…I wanted more and-..!” before she could finish he was crashing his lips on hers, pressing her against the wall. Lucile moaned against his mouth, so that was what she felt earlier…raw passion.
“Oh Lucille…”  he breathed full of desire, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as she buried her fingers in his hair, it was clear he was touch starved. And it made her understand that she was the first and only woman to touch him. She giggled as she felt his tongue caressing her lips, the chaste priest might not be so innocent and probably had other night readings than the Bible. Her hands left his hair to explore his body, her fingers brushing over his neck, feeling his chest through his cassock and then…
“N-no…not yet Lucille, please.” He whimpered, a moan dying in his throat as he was taking her hand away from his crotch; no matter how much he wanted this, right now he couldn’t. And if they were to make love, he would take it slowly, in a bedroom, in bed, he was romantic after all and wanted their first to be right.  
“Oh, I’m so sorry Francois!” she apologized, covering her face with her hands, she was all red in shame, perhaps she had been too blunt in her touch. He didn’t speak but soon she felt his hands on hers, gently taking them away from her face.
“Don’t be ashamed Luci…I…have a lot of desire for you too. And if you would allow me…” he stuttered hallway between shyness and strong desire.
“Yes Francois?” she encouraged him, hopeful, he seemed to want something but didn’t dare to say it.
“I…would like to taste more of you.” He let out, briefly looking down as his face went red but not as much as hers. Still, she nodded, full of desire for him and letting him guide her to sit down. Was this really going to happen?
She looked at him breathless as he knelt in front of her, his hands sliding underneath her dress, caressing her ankles. He exhaled, beautiful ankles, and such a soft skin, he wanted to see…so he lifted her dress up to her knees and my what a beautiful pair of legs, he couldn’t resist but put his mouth on her skin, placing slow, languishing kisses, his head soon disappearing underneath her dress.
Lucille bit her lower lip feeling his mouth closer to her womanhood, his finger delicately slipping off her underwear; she felt his hot breath over her sensitive skin.
“Oh Lucille…your smell…intoxicating.” He murmured, his voice hoarse with desire as he inhaled her scent, he was attracted like a bee to a flower, and he wanted to taste her precious honey. He parted her legs even more and started with a simple and yet lingering kiss, hearing take a deep breath in anticipation.
“Francois…please.” She couldn’t help but plead him, she had been craving love, his love. She gasped as she felt something wet and warm slide between her folds, his tongue, he was tasting her, and the room started to fill with soft and languishing moans at first. His tongue exploring each patch of skin, eating her out as he was famished and in a way he was; he had been deprived of the pleasures of the flesh for too long.
“Oh G…don’t stop! Like that, yes...!” she kept moaning louder and louder, failing at her attempts to be quiet, and he was restless, not stopping his licks, sucking her soft spot, putting into practice all the little things the Marquis’ stories had taught him. When she finally came, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed, feeling pure pleasure radiate off her, her face full of ecstasy and he couldn’t wait to see it again, it was already too addictive to not do it again.
He came back up and captured her lips for a passionate kiss, having the pleasure again the feel her fingers in his hair “Stay a little more…please.” Not leave for years again, he wouldn’t survive it.
“Ask me to stay forever by your side and I will stay.” She replied romantically, even, if they would have to remain discreet for now, at least they had found each other again and that’s all they needed.
Abbe’s sinners: @lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @skaravile​ @niniita-ah @stardancerluv​ @sgtsavoytruffle​ @charlie-sisters @ohcarlesmycarles​ @valentina15 @bring-your-holy-water  @beautifulyoungprospect​​ @stellargirlie​​ @fly-like-a-phoenix​​ @we-were-electrocute​​ @sophiefleck​​ @the-queen-of-things​​ @winterjasmine007​​ @jokerflecker​ @yukis-writing​ @rajacero @morrisonmercuryphoenix @the-joaq-is-extra​
20 notes · View notes
blueboltkatana · 3 years
Note
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.
Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.
Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:
So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.
Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.
I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.
Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.
I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.
Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk
Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.
With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.
You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.
The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.
(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.
I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.
I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.
The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.
Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.
This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.
You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.
Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.
The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.
Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.
Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.
Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.
Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.
Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.
Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.
A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.
With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.
Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.
The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.
Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.
With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.
This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.
Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3
1 note · View note
sumeshi-t · 4 years
Text
✨ self-ship tag game ✨
PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)
sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj
How we met:
okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway
i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds
maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying
so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid
jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain
when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(
actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents
it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired
“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer
“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know
anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow
we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens
watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn
from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)
i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home
would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–
"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"
"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"
somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.
anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him
the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe
i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there
basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing
ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have
but da heart wants what it wants
it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo
"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk
"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"
it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁
"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"
"yeah"
"oh..."
"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"
First date x type of dates:
study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates
since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???
so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"
the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute
the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together
anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two
he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly
after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs
"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"
"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"
"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"
"y-yeah, why?"
"same"
we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"
he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"
"sh-shut up"
it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨
While we’re dating:
he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved
notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???
tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand
i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)
and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal
ok but walks in the beach at sunset
also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly
ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb
he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward
actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over
hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:
"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"
"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"
we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend
vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"
he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"
anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve
meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"
anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around
but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭
11 notes · View notes