#dental appointments obviously | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightningfilledsaber · 6 months

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my wisdom teeth have been rotting in my mouth for a while (no health insurance means no dental either, yippee) and rapidly getting worse. one just broke a big piece off. ow.

#mud rambles #i'll have dental next year but obviously lol. I still have to wait at least two months #not counting whatever wait I'm gonna need for when I'm actually able to get an appointment #kill me

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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Batfam at the dentist HCs/incorrect quotes, please?? 🤲 I have a big surgery coming up and I'm terrified

Dick: What's up, doc?

Leslie: What are you doing?

Dick: Daffy Duck. I'm thinking of a new career as a voice actor.

Leslie: Okay but can you not do it with a mouthful of sharp objects?

———————

Cass: *brings a punch card and a knocked-out tooth*

Leslie, sighing: Here we go again.

Leslie: *stamps the card*

Leslie: Your next one is free.

———————

Leslie: *in the middle of the checkup*

Steph, getting up: Hang on, my Uber Eats is here.

Leslie: You ordered takeout to a dental appointment?

Steph: Efficiency.

———————

Leslie: You have a helmet. How did you still break your tooth?

Jason: *flashback to throwing his helmet at Dick, missing, and it bouncing back*

Jason: Enough with the questions, okay?

———————

Leslie: Ever consider braces?

Kate: I don't want any part of me to be straight.

———————

Leslie: Oh, you're early! Just check in with the receptionist and take a seat until I call you.

Bette: *goes up to the receptionist*

Bette: Checking in for Bette Kane.

The receptionist: Sorry, I don't have you down here.

Bette: Maybe try my full name? Mary Elizabeth Kane?

The receptionist: Still don't see you.

Bette: I should have an appointment for 2:00 today.

The receptionist: *typing*

The receptionist: I see you now. The doctor's right, you are early. Your appointment is tomorrow.

———————

Selina: *using cat claws as a toothpick*

Leslie: This might be an issue.

———————

Leslie: Say "ahh."

Tim: *screams*

———————

Leslie: You're bleeding because you don't floss.

Harper, who came in after a mission: ...

———————

Leslie: —but I cannot stress this enough, it's important to wear a mouthguard for all contact sports. And some non-contact sports. And training. And patrol. And walking through Gotham. And whenever you're around the Waynes. Actually, I'm just gonna give you the box. Take your time. Pick whatever colors you want. If you need me, I'm gonna be in my office questioning my life choices.

Luke:

Luke: ...I just asked how her day was.

———————

Bruce: Are you sure there's no tooth fairy? Because the Justice League has state-of-the-art tracking system that can locate them. I really think we can form a contract to expand social programs for children.

Leslie: Just shut up and let me do my job.

———————

Leslie: Everything's looking good except for a few minor spots.

Barbara: Yeah, well, call me when they invent stainless coffee.

———————

Leslie: I recommend removing your wisdom teeth.

Alfred: But that's where I keep my wisdom.

———————

Leslie: I see you still have one last baby tooth. It should've come out by now.

Damian: Father said to keep it in.

Leslie: Why?

Damian: He wants me to stay a baby.

———————

Leslie: Cullen, you're next.

Cullen: *climbing out the skylight*

Leslie: Wow.

Leslie: That's actually impressive for a non-vigilante.

———————

Leslie: Hey, Helena. I thought you were off duty this week. How'd you knock a molar loose?

[earlier]

Students: *fighting in the hall*

Helena: Break it up! All of you go to the office! And delete that video!

[present]

Helena: I need a raise.

———————

Carrie: I don't get it. I brush twice a day AND floss. How do I still have cavities?

Leslie: What do you brush with?

Carrie: Toothpaste, obviously.

Leslie: And what do you floss with?

Carrie:

Leslie: Carrie...

Carrie: The British call it candy floss for a reason, don't they?

———————

Leslie: Well done today, Duke. Have a sticker.

Duke: Why are they all the Justice League?

Leslie: Funding comes with a catch.

Duke:

Duke: *picks the Flash*

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rosicheeks · 2 years

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🤦🏽‍♀️

#one appointment done #now just 2 more #the funny thing is the first doctor gave me like an estimate of $700 #for what I need done #terrified of what the other doctors are going to say #I’m going to need like $2000 by the end of today #why is dental and health shit so EXPENSIVE #i just want to ya know live #but they are making it so incredibly difficult #obviously I would appreciate it if anyone was able to tip #but right now I just need pick me ups #send me some love #pics of your pets #anything #i have a little bit until my next appointment #so I need some distractions pls #shut up rosie

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yandere-writer-momo · 4 months

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Yandere Stories:

The Tooth Fairy (prequel)

Yandere Serial Killer x GN Reader

A bracelet made of pearly, white incisors was placed under your pillow. Silver wire intricately held each tooth in place to form a grotesque version of jewelry. A mockery of the silver bracelet that had recently gone missing under your nose.

A bit of dried blood on the crown of the two teeth which brought a shiver down your spine. Who on earth would bring you such macabre tokens of affection?

You sighed and analyzed the bracelet. This was the fifth piece of handmade jewelry, if you could call it that, in the last few months.

You placed it with the other trinkets on your dresser. A pair of earrings made of human canines and a necklace made with various premolars and molars. And now you had a matching bracelet for your grotesque jewelry from your secret admirer.

You glanced at your window that had the lock obviously tampered with. Whoever they were, they always managed to break in without your knowledge. Were you still waking up and that was why you were so nonchalant about it? Or was it your fascination with serial killers that made you less inclined to notify the police of your… growing collection.

You rubbed your temple as you felt an impending headache grasp you in its hold. No… you couldn’t reject them. Gods only knew what they’d do if you reject them. Kill you? Pull your teeth out one by one? Torture you? You didn’t want to find out, so you became an unwilling accomplice to this matters individuals scheme. Whatever that may be.

You began to get ready for work at the dentist office but not before you checked your reflection.

Your fingers poked at the corners of your mouth to turn your lips into a smile. Your teeth now on display in this fake display of happiness, the perfect costumer service face.

“Smile…” Because you never know who was watching you.

.

You sat at your desk with your signature customer service smile and sugar sweet voice. A smile that never quite reached your eyes, but it got the point across to the various customers that came in for their dental appointments.

Another day in your other wise boring life save for the obtuse way you handled your stalker. Perhaps you should buy a gun? You’ve never fired a firearm before so you’d need training…

“Good morning!” You nearly jumped out of your skin when the dentist, Dorian Zimmerman, placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Jesus, Dorian! You scared me.” You clutched your chest as your heart nearly escaped from your chest. An amused smile on his face as he eyed you up and down.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so lost in thought.” Dorian shrugged while he scanned the list for every patient. “Will there ever be a day I see you on this list?”

You shook your head. “No, I still go to my family dentist.”

Dorian sighed, “a shame. I’d love to look at your pretty teeth.”

Dorian sauntered off, but not before he cast you one last look. “Can you stay over a bit today? I have something for you.”

“Okay.” You agreed, there was nothing weird about the dentist asking you to stay over, right?

Dorian expression lit up like the sun. “Great. I’ll see you then.”

He then ducked around the bend to get back to his customers. You then diligently went back to your front desk duties.

“He has such pretty teeth.” You whispered to yourself before you noticed a man in all black in front of your desk. “Oh hello, do you have an appointment?”

The tanned man clicked his tongue, his gray eyes glanced you up and down. “Yes. My name is Zahn. Zahn Pain.”

Oh, it seemed you had an edge lord on your hands. But perhaps you were making assumptions based on his gothic appearance and prominent eye bags. His choice of jewelry was rather interesting as well… various animal teeth and crystals were parts of his necklaces, rings, and even earrings.

“Ah yes, your appointment is in about fifteen minutes-“ you were shocked when he placed his face closer to the glass, his eyes locked you in place like a predator staring down his prey.

“Do you like the dentist’s teeth?” Zahn muttered, his hands shook a bit while his face remained unreadable and stoic.

“Oh? Doctor Zimmerman has to have nice teeth to show his clients.” You nervously laugh which made Zahn back down. Why was he so strange?

Zahn hummed and shoved his hands in his leather jacket’s pockets. “I think your teeth are prettier since they’re not veneers. Have more personality.”

You thought for a moment. You hadn’t realized Dorian had veneers… which would explain their uncanny valley perfection. Zahn was surprising observant.

The gothic boy took a seat far away from the other patients in the very back of the lobby that had the perfect view of your desk. His gray eyes bore holes in your head while you continued to work.

You just couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that pooled in your stomach…

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skippyv20 · 3 months

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Our Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️2024

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s beloved husband. Due to a recent bout of illness he has been having investigations. He had his Prostrate removed due to cancer and all has been well for 5 years. The investigations have shown some abnormal blood results and it has been suggested he be referred back to the Urology department. He also has raised liver enzymes too. So obviously he is not 100% health wise and the obvious concern is that the cancer may be back. Also, prayers and good thoughts for our friend to feel peace and God’s loving presence. Feb 13

Prayers and good thoughts for our friends in New Zealand. It’s the one year ago today, their region was struck by cyclone Gabrielle and almost completely destroyed. So many people are still waiting for the insurance companies ( and the local authorities) to release funds in order for them to rebuild. Some areas are still covered in silt. Feb 13 Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s mother who is feeling anxious. Feb 13

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s nephew who is struggling. Feb 11

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who must have surgery on her foot once again. Also, she is having heart issues. Feb 6

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend who needs to have re-surgery to repair her broken femur bone, which has not fused. She was told that it was surgery failure the first time, and she would have to travel to back to Singapore to have the re-surgery done. Feb 5

Prayers and good thoughts for our King Charles III as he battles cancer. We pray also for his family. Feb 5 (Princess of Wales prayers scroll down to Jan 17)

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s nephew who has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Feb 3

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend’s daughter who has a benign autonomous nodule which produces the T3 hormone nonstop. She meets with an oncology surgeon Feb 9th. Also, her grandson contracted mono and developed an enlarged spleen - which means he has to be careful with lifting things, etc. and is 19yrs old and thinks he is invincible. And also our friend who hurt her knee and face surgery. She also faces dental surgery. Feb 01

We pray for our friend’s husband who is not well, and in pain at times. We pray for our friend too. Jan 29

We pray for all children who are being bullied. We pray for them to be kept safe and out of harm’s way physically and mentally. Jan 19

We pray for our friend who for 36 years has suffered from a progressive, painful, debilitating neurological illness that has her housebound, and she is tired. Jan 19

We pray for Princess of Wales as she recovers after major surgery. We pray for her recovery to be quick and without any issues. We pray for Prince of Wales and children as they go through this trial as a family. Jan 17

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend who again is facing struggles, that don’t seem to end Jan 11

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend and her daughter who is going through some things. Jan9

We pray and send good thoughts for Jenna. She has just lost her dad to cancer and it’s hitting her hard.Jan8

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend who is struggling with family issues and is looking for answers as to how to resolve them. She is very hurt by it all. Jan8

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend’s two daughters.One has multiple health issues and is feeling overwhelmed. She has appointments with two specialists in January and I am praying for some positive outcomes. Her other daughter is an addict and has been in hospital since New Years eve with a serious blood infection. Once she is discharged she plans to return to a very unhealthy living situation, even though her brother offered to take her in. Even after discharge she will require home care for the picc line. Jan7

We pray and send good thoughts for one of our Tumblr friends who has stepped away and we await her return. Jan6

We pray and send good thoughts for our friend’s sister-in-law who very soon will undergo 2 surgeries (abdominal cyst & brain tumor). Jan4

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hallaheart · 4 days

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evie

talking about pet loss

today is day 6, or day 7 from when we first learned the situation last thursday and made our decision to let go of Evie for her quality of life. Right now, we are doing as okay as we can be. Evie was a cat who was always around us or in our shadow, so her not being around hits pretty hard just because her behavior and where she liked to hang out was predictable. The situation was that Evie had a dental cleaning just before we flew to Philly for a good friend's wedding a few weeks ago. She has not been grooming lately, but we and the vet suspected it was because she needed a lot of dental work done. During the dental cleaning, they found a mass under her tongue and did a biopsy. When we got back we got the news that the biopsy revealed it was a squamous cell carcinoma which is a highly aggressive tumor and apparently the most common kind to affect kitty mouths. We met with a vet oncologist last Thurs who examined her and found that in just the time since the biopsy one week before that the tumor had actually grown at a pretty alarming rate. E was not able to eat or drink on her own almost all of last week and was hiding/not very active, though she still was sitting with us and purring with pets and love. The treatments available for the tumor were all basically pretty extreme….chemo pills (which she had to be able to swallow whole on her own, which she physically could not do) and a feeding tube. And we had a long talk with the vet who explained (really well) that basically any treatment would have the goal of just keeping her where she currently was vs it getting worse, and obviously… the place where she was was not a good quality of life. There was not any treatment for E that was actually a bridge to having a healthy cat back--it would just basically buy her more time at a really poor quality of life until eventually she would die in a lot of pain and suffering because she couldn't eat or drink. The week before was the most stressful week of my life because of how much I was worried about her not eating. She lost a ton of weight in just a few days. The choice of course is not easy, but there was no other choice we could make where we would have done right by her. So we talked with the vet and brought Evie home Thursday night and scheduled her appointment for Friday morning. We got one last evening with her and her last morning she hung out in all the sunniest patches of the house, even laying on her side for a bit and relaxing. She's only been kind of tightly loafing lately because it was obvious she was in a lot of pain, so seeing her relaxed just felt like... she might have known it would be over soon and could accept it. When we came back to the vet Friday and it was time, i was able to hold her in my lap for the whole time, in one of her blankies, as she fell asleep and then right up to the end. The moment was actually very peaceful and it felt right and beautiful that i got to hold her. they had a white noise machine in the room that i have at home, which i use every night, so i turned that on to the setting we use at bedtime, and we played Asleep by the Smiths and I held her so tight. She was so calm and peaceful, and I felt such a weight off my chest even though it was over. We were so lucky in many ways with this. We got a very certain picture of her diagnosis and her outlook for treatment, a really great vet staff who were compassionate, honest, and helpful in every step of the road and careful to explain everything to us. Most people don't have the luxury of one more night with their pets, or of knowing that the choice to put a pet to sleep is the only right one versus having to choose not to pursue expensive courses of treatment. It's been a weird couple days because occasionally i get so sad, but i also have not felt like the sadness was insurmountable

She was my best friend and my soul cat, she slept with me every night so the first night without her was so hard. I held the blankie so tight. This morning was tough because Luna has really seemed to realize that she's gone. She woke us up early and spent hours running around the house checking all the spots where Evie has been hiding while sick. This destroyed me. We tried to explain to her the whole time, because I don't know if she can understand us, but we try to explain it to her. It's been about 6 days now. It feels like a lifetime, and also like it just happened yesterday. There's two things that still punch me in the gut everytime--getting back and opening the front door and only having one cat run to greet me, and then going to bed every night alone makes me feel like I'm going to puke.

Losing Evie just feels so soon. It was such a fast decline from the biopsy news to the vet appointment to the final day. It sounds kind of bad--but Luna is so much older that i thought we'd be on this hell ride with Luna first because we've only had Evie for about 9 years and she was only about a year old when I got her. I wish she was with us longer. I miss her so much, but im also glad and honored that like, i could be the one to take on all the pain she was feeling so she doesn't have to suffer anymore... But it also really fucking sucks to lose my best friend no matter how hard I try to be stoic about it. Its been up and down, for a while im doing like so okay, and I forget, but then like I do a goofy run to the bathroom to shower, and forget that she wasn't there to chase me like she always does, and then I cry my eyes out in the shower.

She loved to sit on me while i was gaming on my laptop or during meetings at work. She always liked to scratch the back of my work chair and if I put my desk in standing mode or get up to go get a drink, i came back to her sitting in my chair like it was the throne. She loved to be on camera, so playing DND on Discord this week was so hard. I had a lump in my throat the whole time and it was hard to focus. Same with work meetings.

And it was so fast how bad she got? It was such a decline like just over the week in how she was feeling, and then it was so fast from the vet oncologist to the end, but also like... she was doing so bad Friday morning as far as eating/drinking that if i hadn't scheduled it already i would have called them and been like, we need to do it today. I couldn't bear another week of her not eating and hiding. She could hardly move or respond to things. There was a moment Thurs night that i got up in the middle of the night and i was a little afraid she was already gone, she was so still.

Evie and I had a bond literally almost from the first moment we met; we were visiting some cats because we wanted to get a buddy for Luna and we picked her up--she had just arrived in the shelter, and she put her chin on my shoulder, hugged me and purred like a 747. And that was just how she always was ever since, even at the very end she was so happy to be held and so at peace in my arms. Sharing the last picture I took of her the morning of. I love this picture. She was so relaxed that morning, enjoying watching the lizards outside from the sunniest patch. She laid on my chest and purred, like she always did.

the world is so much grayer without her in it

#pet loss #eviecat

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chipswsalsa · 1 month

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hey team, in need of some emotional support. does anyone else struggle with like… annoyingly intense dental anxiety bc i have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon and i have been sitting here for the last like, ten minutes in tears bc i am simply just so terrified, and i’m annoyed at myself for being this scared but it’s fucking embarrassing bc i’ve never had good dental hygiene/health partly bc genetics and partly bc my parents never emphasized the importance of it when i was younger, so obviously that kind of set me up for failure, and now i’m 25 and haven’t been to a dentist in like, 15+ years and i’m sitting here in my chair crying and freaking out and i hate hate hate it. so. any kind of support/advice/words of wisdom is helpful to me and my brain rn thank u <3

#i hate this #this is my personal hell #pls help #ily <3

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haechannabelle · 24 days

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hiii today is bad my hair is messy but we out here i guess. lots of very negative venting under the cut yayyy (it’s okay tho venting made me feel better)

i’m just frustrated because my stupid job where i have to stand on concrete floors for 7 hours a day has ruined my knees, i have the knees of like a fucking 60 year old and i’m not even 30, like i can’t exercise and i keep gaining weight from my medication and idk what to do about it

and i made an appointment to hopefully get a doctor’s note so i can sit at work but because i’m on medicaid my doctor was like yeah earliest i have is in three months and even then he’ll have to refer me to a specialist to get anything done about it

and my arm has also been bothering me since we moved in august, it’ll go away but then it comes back worse. so of course i’m worried about that too

and NOW my foot is all fucked up on TOP of that stuff and because they’re doing stupid construction on all the public transit i’m walking like an extra 3 miles some days which obviously isn’t helping anything…and i had to leave work today because i couldn’t stop crying because i feel like my body is failing me and i can’t afford to take time off of work and also fuck the healthcare “system” in this country, i just had to pay a $750 bill for dental work so who KNOWS how much it’ll cost if i need treatment for my knees OR arm OR foot OR all three of them

anyways i’m sad and in pain and im freaking out about how i’m gonna get it all fixed or IF i’m gonna get things fixed and how much i’ll have to pay if i do…. it’s just not a good situation and it’s only been building as i tried to ignore the problems and hope they would go away, so now i’m directing anger at myself for not taking care of myself

but whatever my partner will be home soon and he’s gonna drive me to the doctor tomorrow and i know he’ll have comforting things to say. i know it’ll all be okay i’m just upset and what is tumblr for if not long sad personal posts and also selfies riiiiight ???

in other news tomorrow is 4/20 and i WILL be ceremoniously ending my 3 week T-break and i cannot fucking wait. i read four (4!!!) books in that time which is 4x as many books as i had read in the previous 5 years so,, i’m doing good in other ways !!!

everything is gonna be okay, it’s just hard right now. shoutout to anyone who read this far i am virtually giving you a fresh baked cookie 🍪

#myself #annabelle talks #i promise i’m okay i just needed to get some of this out

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wistfulcynic · 1 year

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in December 2008 i moved permanently from the USA to the UK and promptly got an ear infection. It was intensely painful, like an ice pick through my skull. i took some OTC painkiller and lay in bed, moaning and miserable.

my (English) husband looked at me like i’d grown a third head.

“if it’s that bad why don’t you just go to the doctor?” he said.

“i--i can go to the doctor in this country!” was my reply.

at that time, it had probably been 5-6 years since i’d seen a doctor. Not since i stopped being on my dad’s insurance. Even when i’d had my own insurance (via my grad school institution as part of my teaching assistantship compensation, the same insurance as the professors had. Probably pretty good. Still too confusing and scary for me) i never felt like i had the spare cash to cover a copay, was always afraid that what i needed wouldn’t be covered by the insurance. i ignored an abscess in my mouth for weeks until it finally burst in a geyser of pus you definitely don’t want me to go into further detail about, because i was worried that would count as dental and i didn’t have dental coverage.

you get the picture. Health care in the US sucks hard.

when my ear was infected, my husband phoned his local GP surgery (with which i was not registered, i was an immigrant on a spouse visa, only arrived the previous week), got me an appointment later that day. They saw me, diagnosed me, gave me a prescription for antibiotics for which i paid (i think, at the time) roughly £7. Cleared up in a few days.

all i paid for was the prescription.

some years later my husband made me go to the doctor again. i was having random symptoms i wasn’t even sure were symptoms, a weird laundry list of stuff that could be connected or could be nothing. i went to the GP with this list, worried that they’d take one look at a heavyset woman and immediately go “lose weight fatty!” or “diabetes!” They did not. The doctor was a young-ish woman who listened carefully to everything i told her, looked at my list of symptoms, and said “we’ll test for other things, but I’m 99% sure this is a problem with your thyroid. i’m going to start you on some medicine while we wait for the test results.”

prescriptions were by then something in the neighbourhood of £8.

a few days later i got a call from the lab that had run my blood tests. They told me that my thyroid levels were through the roof, so high they were actively dangerous. Cardiac arrest was a likely outcome if it was left untreated. They advised me to get a prescription immediately, and were audibly relieved when i told them i already had one.

if i’d not been living in a country with free-at-the-point-of-service health care, i would not have seen a doctor. The NHS saved my life.

why am i going on about this? Well. It’s because NHS workers have planned a strike for later this month, and the press are already on the attack. Fearmongering about how this will throw the system into chaos, patients will go untreated, etc etc blah blah all with the very unsubtle spin of “blame the workers. Blame the strikers. They’re putting your lives in danger.”

zero mention of how dire the situation is in many hospitals. Not enough nurses (because Brexit among other reasons) and the ones we do have are overworked and underpaid. Too many patients not enough beds. Old buildings, old equipment.

none of which is a problem with the system. The system’s great. The system works. The problem is the predatory Tory government who would love nothing more than a privatised, US-style insurance-based healthcare system off of which they and their cronies can profit. The problem is how the government has been starving the NHS of funds for over a decade, under the guise of “austerity” and how we all need to muck in together. Except them, obviously. They’re different.

the problem is absolutely not the people striking because they, like nearly all of us in this country, are shamefully underpaid. Because they deserve compensation for their hard and dangerous work. Compensation they are not being given, despite their attempts at negotiation.

whenever collective action happens there are always people eager to blame the workers. Greedy nurses, refusing to treat us when we need them because they think their pay is more important. How dare they? They have a responsibility to do their jobs! i am urging all my UK mutuals and anyone who reads this not to be taken in by these spurious arguments or any spin doctoring from the news rags. Side with the workers! Side with the nurses. Side with the people who want the NHS well-funded and thriving. A robust national health service is a universal good. Ours is creaky and wobbling but that is from mistreatment, not because the principle is unsound. i promise you, however frustrating you find the NHS, an American-style system is far, far worse.

#national health service #britain #strikes #collective action #political #NHS #saira has Thoughts

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sharpth1ng · 8 months

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Sharpy finds love with the mysterious, Ethan Landry.

Sharpy woke up at his dental hygienist office, expecting the day to go like every other day. However, Sharpy was not prepared for what his day would bring. Sharpy completed its regular morning routine, throughly brushing its teeth after drinking bottles of maple syrup. Sharpy always made time for maple syrup, no matter how chaotic his life was. Maple syrup was his anchor, when everything looked gloomy, maple syrup was there. Sharpy would never turn its back on maple syrup.

Sharpy had just finished a cleaning, still exhilarated from the euphoric feeling that cleaning teeth gave. That very feeling is the reason he worked so hard, nothing else compared. The lollipop business was a close second, but nothing compared to the happiness he felt, knowing that he was the reason that plaque was removed from teeth. More than that, it was the fact that he was the reason that each person no longer felt burdened by plaque. Knowing he was able to give that contribution to the world motivated him to keep going each day, in addition to the maple syrup gifts.

Typically after a cleaning, Sharpy found himself cleaning tools and preparing for the next person, ready to make a difference. Sharpy truly treasured every moment of its career. However, things were drastically different when a man by the name of Ethan walked in. Expecting this to just be a normal appointment, Sharpy greeted him, just as it would anyone else. Sharpy quickly realized this man was different, when he was offered a red balloon. It was at that moment, that Sharpy fell head over heels in love with his new patient.

Sharpy knew Ethan was different when instead of the mundane world he was used to seeing, he saw stars everywhere. Sharpy felt like it was a scene from an animated film or comic book, the way the stars appeared around the man, as soon as he offered him the ballon. Sharpy had never felt more understood than in that moment, it finally understood what the term ‘soulmates’ meant. Sharpy knew how ridiculous the story would sound to others, but it lived in a dental office. Now wasn’t really the time to start caring about what others thought. He regularly ate maple syrup bottles when taking long walks, it’s safe to say he was past that point. The thing was Sharpy wasn’t ashamed, he was proud to have a love story like this.

A million thoughts raced through its head and for once, they weren’t about teeth. He needed to know every detail about this man, immediately. It seems the man felt the same, he immediately asked Sharpy when the cleaning started. Sharpy liked that, liked a man who was direct. The man expected to have his teeth cleaned that day and that’s exactly what Sharpy would give him. Sharpy’s work was unlike any other dental hygienist. If the man wasn’t already in love, he would be after this cleaning. Sharpy finally had the perfect opportunity to display the tricks he learned from years of cleaning teeth.

Midway through the cleaning, Sharpy finally decided to ask the big question. Sharpy needed to know his favorite syrup, to confirm that they were actually soulmates. The red balloon was a nice start, but the maple syrup would make things real. Ethan immediately without hesitation responded to the question with, “Maple syrup, obviously! I’m not an idiot.” It was at that moment that everything Sharpy had thought had been proven. The two were soulmates, the two redefined love, according to Sharpy. Sharpy finally realized what it meant to be a hopeless romantic.

Unfortunately, the cleaning came to an end. Sharpy could only prolong for it so long, before people started asking questions. However, Sharpy was instantly happier when the two finalized their weekend plans by exchanging meaningful gifts. Sharpy gave Ethan a lollipop, a maple syrup one, which caused an immediate jump in the air from Ethan. The sight of his jump confirmed things once again for Sharpy, the two were undeniably soulmates. Ethan gave Sharpy another red ballon, with a note attached that read: “to the cat boy.” Ethan quickly added that, while sharpy was finishing its routine of cleaning the tools after each appointment. Sharpy wasn’t able to give that routine up for anyone, not even for the love of his life. Sharpy needed to maintain the annual maple syrup gifts. Whenever Sharpy saw the note, he involuntarily let out an audible meow. The entire waiting room glanced over, but quickly looked away, continuing on with what they were doing. They were not surprised, they had all gotten to know Sharpy well by this point. Sharpy drank maple syrup in front of them daily, not much could beat that. Sharpy couldn’t believe how aligned the two of them were, they could feel how the other felt from just a glance. He thought to himself that the two might as well find a nearby courthouse and elope, at the rate they were going. However, Sharpy quickly put that thought away, because he would need the entire dental hygienist office there on his special day, in addition to his friend who introduced maple syrup to him.

September had yet another reason of being special to Sharpy, as well as his dental office. Sharpy found love within his dental office and he found his dental office within the month of September. Life couldn’t be more wonderful for Sharpy than right now. Sharpy realized what people meant when they talked about achieving life-long goals. Sharpy felt total bliss with how it’s life currently was.

#I’m dying out here #phoenixs fanfic #ask

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rhube · 3 months

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The unbelievable stupidity of targeted advertising

I am fairly cagey about what I let track me on the Internet. I use Firefox, I have extensions to further block tracking, and on my computer I also use Malwarebites. I do my searches with Start Page and DuckDuckGo. I decline everything I'm allowed to whenever I get GDPR pop-ups. I regularly check and adjust privacy settings where I can.

But I still get targeted advertising, and lately it has become pretty fucking hilarious.

I didn't screenshot this one, but repeatedly, on the stupid Cat Game I play on my phone, I have had very poorly made ads for dental implants in Turkey. Like, they are still images that were obviously very cheap to buy. Someone is relying on only showing this shit to people they think will be specifically interested.

So why does an algorithm think I am someone who would specifically be interested in dental implants from Turkey?

I'm going to tell you two things that will make you go 'Oh yeah, that's why,' and then I'm going to explain why no human would reach that conclusion.

I have been making a lot of toots on Mastodon about my dentist and doing dentist searches. I have also been searching for maps to places in Turkey.

Clearly a person interested in dental care and going to Turkey, right?

Except this is the context:

My toots are ranting about my ableist dentist and their anti-mask policies that mean I haven't been able to go to the dentist in ages because I am medically vulnerable. They've been very dentist negative and talking about my considerable trauma and anxiety about going to the dentist. I recently lost a filling, so had no choice but to make an appointment. Before I did, I searched for LOCAL private dentists, to see if I could find one with better safety practices.

I had to use Edge to look at one website because it did not work in Firefox. Whatever tracking Edge does must think THE one and only thing I am interested in is dentists.

At the same time, I have been listening to audio lectures on the History of Mesopotamia and the History of the Persian Empire. The courses don't come with maps, so every time they mention a place name, I am running searches on those places for maps so I can visualise where they are and what's going on (I have learnt a lot of geography! I'm probably retaining it better than the history!)

A lot of places in Mesopotamia and ancient Persia are now in modern day Turkey.

Whether it's poor compliance to GDPR (likely - i don't think objecting to (il)legitimate interests stops anything) on the websites hosting the images, or Facebook tracking me when I'm logged out, or crawlers scraping my toots, SOMEHOW I have been tagged as REALLY interested in places in Turkey and probably maps of Turkey, as someone who was going to Turkey might be.

But I'm not. In fact, a human being would infer that someone who's too sick to go to a dentist that doesn't mask is *really* unlikely to be travelling anywhere.

And once you know that most of my searches are about places in fucking Babylonia and Assyria, it's obvious that I'm not even mostly looking at the parts of the maps that are in Turkey.

A human being would NEVER try to target me with dental implants from Turkey.

But whatever auto-buys targeted ad space on Cat Game thinks I am the fucking jackpot.

And then today.

Sweet kittens.

This is the exact same style of ad as the dental implants, btw. Same still image that's the wrong shape to view on a phone. It's a different product, but somewhere along the way, it's the same company that thinks I, an unemployed chronically ill person, would travel to Turkey for dental implants, who also thinks I would want a Rolex that can go under water.

If I hadn't had the first one I probably wouldn't have twigged why I was targeted for this. It's such an unlikely product for me. I hate watches and am aggressively uninterested in expensive ones. So why, why, why...?

I'm pretty sure 'Submariner' is the key.

A couple of days ago I made a rant in which I talked about Margaret Cavendish predicting submarines. I possibly even tagged it with the word 'submarine'.

I have also been talking a lot about my heart rate monitor. But because that's a lot to type out, I often just refer to it as my 'watch'. There was even a post about which wrist you wear your watch on in which I explained in the tags that I hate wearing watches, so I have to keep changing which wrist I wear my watch on.

The confluence of someone interested in submarines and watches could plausibly be considered to correlate highly with the interest in buying a submariner watch by an algorithm.

But to a person it's fucking obvious that I actually hate watches and would never be interested in one that doesn't monitor my heart. And the sum total of my interest in submarines comes from posts about literature that only mention them as one among many signifiers that a classic work is science fiction.

This kind of junk advertising that tries to sell people stuff they hate is what powers most of how our economy works these days. This kind of tagging content as expressing an (assumed positive) 'interest' in something is behind the vast majority of 'machine learning'. I've seen under the hood of how these things work. Just being on a page that contains something tagged as indicating interest in something is taken as useful information.

You visit a page that contains an address, and a computer adds that into the likelihood that you're interested in the city mentioned in the address. You're not. It's just the contact details for the company that sells the rubber dog toy you just bought.

On the vast, generalised scale, you can get interesting info from stuff like this. You can see trends in populations and industries, and tiny, irrelevant info like mentions of cities you're not buying tickets to vanishes into nothing. It's not that the overall practice has no value.

The problem is that the vast majority of advertising that tries to target specific people with specific products is fucking useless. Because meaning is determined by context.

I can't remember if it was Quine or Davidson that pointed this out (Davidson was Quine's student and they were both obsessed with interpretation, translation, and meaning): you can't translate single words meaningfully. You have to translate sentences (do a search on 'gavagai' to find out more, I've talked long enough and don't want to go deep into the indeterminism of translation; it's not as scary as it sounds, though - there are bunnies). Meaning relies on context.

And as Davidson further developed the thought, to be meaningful, the context needs to include embodied, successful communication between minded beings about a shared external world. We have nothing approaching a machine that can do that. And until we do, machine learning is going to keep trying to sell dental implants to people who hate dentists and are learning about Babylonia.

Because machines can't know what teeth and Babylon are, let alone their relations to disabled former academics lying in baths.

#targeted advertising #philosophy of language #philosophy of mind and language #teeth #body horror #listen i don't want to tag it with the words that were used to target me #but at least one of those things is body horror to me

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amour-de-tous · 11 months

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So tomorrow I--hi, yeah, I haven’t updated in anyone about anything in, like, months, because I have been levels of stressed heretofore unknown--anyway, tomorrow I have Another Dentist Appointment. This one was not supposed to happen! I was supposed to be on a healing break from May 4th through the end of July but the crown the dentist put on the Not Extracted Tooth (obviously) has never quit hurting (a LOT) since he put it on April 27th. And, like, okay. I know. It’s bad to take nSAIDs every day, I get that, but like. You have to understand. I have not been able to physically *close my mouth* without agonizing pain since then so I’ve, you know, been taking ibuprofen at least once but mostly twice a day to try and be able to eat and sleep. And, yeah. Okay. Yes. I should have called him earlier. But I ALSO know that a crown can take up to 6 weeks to “settle”, so I was, you know. Waiting for that. And then 6 weeks came and gone and I was like. Look. I don’t want to go back in if I don’t have to. Have *another* exposure to covid. I was going to try to just. Wait. And hope for the best. But then I started having stomach upset so, you know, repeated longterm use of nSAIDs, etc, not good. So I called on Friday and they gave me an appointment for tomorrow (1:40pm). And I am. Legitimately. Terrified. Because a: the dentist already removed part of my tooth opposite the crown because, idk, when he prepped the tooth for the crown he didn’t...take enough tooth off? And it’s a gold crown and the crown ITSELF can’t be adjusted, so he had to adjust my *actual tooth* above the crown, which I was really not happy with in the first place. And now I’m going to go back in, tomorrow, and he’s probably going to berate me for not coming in sooner and then I’m probably going to either yell or cry or maybe both and I am. So tired. I’m just so tired of being in pain. We’ve paid this man a truly obscene amount of money. He is supposed to be one of the best dentists in the area. And. This? So I’m terrified I go in tomorrow and he either removes so much of my Actual Tooth above the crown that I end up with a tooth that hurts/is sensitive, OR he says “well there’s nothing we can do, you just have to live in pain” Which. I can’t? Because this pain is bad enough I literally can’t close my mouth and touch my teeth together, let alone chew, or sleep? And I can’t keep taking painkillers every day, obviously. I’m more nervous about tomorrow’s appointment than I was for the *actual dental surgery*. Anywho. That’s.... Happening.

#dentist #dental work #cw for all that entails #anxiety #ponderings and musings

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running-in-the-dark · 1 year

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had a pretty shit day today - I was already in pain, and then I somehow hurt my back (literally just stood there and moved my arm to pick something up and suddenly had this awful pain in my back). so I've just been lying on the couch all day. it's better now but still pretty painful.

I wanted to paint today but obviously that didn't happen. and yesterday I was so tired that I just fell asleep so I didn't paint then either. tomorrow I've got a dental appointment and that always leaves me very fatigued, soo I'm guessing I won't do anything tomorrow either.

then my niece is sleeping here, then my brother is coming over to help me go through all the stuff for my thesis, then it's my sister-in-law's birthday (which I'm also making a cake for).

I'm so tired.

#my nephew asked if he could come over today so that I could help him finish a presentation for school #I has to say no. I just can't keep up anymore. I'm doing so little but even that is too much #*had to #anyway. I'm so glad I have a Switch. without it all I could do on days like today is be on my phone. this way I at least got to play #minecraft. yeah I didn't ACTUALLY do anything but at least I built a shitty little house in a game #🤷#why is life so fucking exhausting. why do I have to be tired all the time. I hate it.#personal

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little-green-ants · 5 months

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If you were my ✨️very expensive✨️ contact lenses, where would you be hiding?

Also lost:

1 pack of the mini pill

freebie box from dental appointment (but I found the invoice??? That I obviously got at the same time???)

#personal post #im so mad my house is cleaner but more stuff is lost #ive been through so much of my stuff recently but things are still not there

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skippyv20 · 3 months

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Our Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prayers and good thoughts for our friends doctor. She has been hospitalized. Her name is Sally. Feb 18

Prayers and good thoughts for our friend and her family who are mourning the loss of their beloved SIL who battled so hard after surgeries. Feb 15