#but i can't afford the type of therapy i need | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drdemonprince · 13 days

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in regards to the concept of abled people not existing/abled folks being expected to do more in relationships with disabled folks... You make some good points about us all being disabled in different ways and not recognizing it, but I still feel that there's quite a vsst gap materially between say, an ADHDer who can lift and push 50lbs easily/without pain and one who can't. And i have run into big roadblocks in relationships with other lefty types as the person who can't! And I think that expectation should be talked about and accepted more because I know a lot of "leftists" who would never think to apply this to stuff like doing the dishes because they're hellbent on everyone doing Equal Amounts. It's all fun and IG graphics about disability justice until they decide that youre Nonbinary roomate named sock who doesnt do the dishes etc etc , then see yourselves to the door!

You're absolutely right that there are differences in what various disabled people can do and the privileges that affords. It's glaringly obvious as a problem in Autism spaces, where people who can mask and speak like me are listened to and trusted and frequently talk over people who are nonverbal and cannot mask.

Even there, though, there are massive problems in attempting to rank-order someone's level of ability rather than just speaking specifically about these things in terms of privileges and oppressions. People assume I'm capable of all kinds of things I am not capable of, for instance, or hold me to ableist standards of productivity and ability because I "seem more capable. And Autistic people whose disabilities are more obvious have the opposite problem -- they are denied agency, presumed to be incompetent, not permitted to take on challenges they could find stimulating and worthwhile, and are dehumanized, etc.

And so where I'm getting with this is that we can't determine from the outside what a person is capable of doing, or what they should be capable of doing. It's not that far of a logical path to go from saying "Oh, this ADHDer is not physically disabled, they can lift 50 pounds, they can do a lot of things that I can't do" to saying "This ADHDer didn't unpack all our luggage for two weeks after our trip, they are lazy and not pulling their weight."

Someone might have the literal physical ability to do something in terms of strength or mobility, but not have the ability to complete a task because of the disabilities they do have (ADHD, in this case), and even if we are disabled ourselves we may be primed to see those people as lazy, uncaring, not pulling their weight, and all kinds of ableist interpretations.

So broadly I get your point, it is undoubtedly true some of us have abilities that others don't. but I think there's no way to put this idea into practice beyond just trusting people when they say they cannot do a thing, and not passing harsh judgement against people we think ought to be able to do a thing but don't (and maybe can't). This goes back to the original point of the discussion -- wondering why so many other people seem to fail disabled people and not show up for them.

To your second point, about a lot of even leftist people bringing therapy and instagram infographic "boundary setting" advice to their relationships and expecting all chores to be divided up equally, yeah that's a big problem and it's been a big problem in interpersonal relationships for many decades at this point. Most people overestimate the portion of the chores that they do, underestimate the work their partners or housemates do, and aspire to "equity" in a way that drives them absolutely crazy with score-keeping and resentment. There's a lot of research on how that outlook absolutely poisons heterosexual relationships and has done so pretty much ever since women started getting the ability to say no to a chore. It's a big problem of individualism under capitalism at its root, I think.

And the social change needed is much the same thing -- people need to learn to actually trust their loved ones when they say they cannot do the dishes, cannot clean the gutters, can't drop off the rent check, etc. I think a disability justice politics of raising everyone's class consciousness regarding their own disabilities and others is the way to go, and a massive strengthening of community ties.

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mysticalburntpaper · 12 days

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Something I've noticed in whump is that there's a surprising lack of medical attention after the whunping.

Yes, caretaker taking care of whumpee with hugs and affections is supreme, but I feel like whumpee being forced to get medical treatment is either treated as an afterthought or as even more angst.

Like... Hear me out, forcing whumpee to go to a doctor (or to go to several doctors), forcing whumpee to get therapy, or even taking this bitch to a damn DENTIST (guys, please imagine the amount of cavities. Maybe whumpee lost some teeth from the lack of care with whumper, or maybe whumper just whumpered a little too hard and took teeth out themselves, or it's so bad they need extractions, maybe caretaker can't afford the care to begin with), because caretaker KNOWS they're not qualified.

Now that I'm typing this out, caretaker knowing they can't help whumpee with genuine medical things... Maybe caretaker was a doctor who quit or was a med student who dropped out, maybe they just don't know anything and are regretting skipping biology in highschool, maybe they refuse to take whumpee to get help (bad caretaker maybe?) or listen to whumpee a little too much and accidentally make them worse.

But please imagine all of the possible scenarios, it's almost never ending!

#whump writing #whumpblr #whump #whump prompt #caretaker #caretaker prompts #writing #writingblr #writing prompt #whump community #whumpee #whump recovery #recovery whump

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autistichalsin · 6 months

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This has been one of the worst, hardest, most stressful years I've had. My grandpa broke his hip and passed away shortly after. My food stamp eligibility ran out and for a month I was literally counting pennies to buy food- my fridge broke and I couldn't even afford a new one, I had to take out a loan to get a mini fridge instead. Three of my guinea pigs passed away of old age within a few months. I have been extremely stressed with my grad school program and not understanding the material- and being ignored when i ask the profs for help.

I have gained a ton of weight from stress-snacking which I'm self conscious of. A relative committed suicide. I lost a good friend to cancer- weeks after she was diagnosed. I have to move cross-country, and I was REALLY happy where I was.

My mom's health is in rough shape. She needs spinal surgery because she's in too much pain to get out of bed a lot of days, and she can't afford it. She also can't afford the diagnostic bloodwork she needs to see if she has blood cancer. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I've been dealing with a lot of trauma and heavy stuff in therapy which is worth it but exhausting. I've had to distance myself from my older brother (Who I'm not out to) because of the hateful things he says about trans people. It's been a really hard year.

So imagine how grateful I am that I've found this fandom, with such beautifully written characters, written with so much love and care, whose personalities feel like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day.

And all the creative and kind and amazing fandom members I've met!

I'm just so happy that when I have awful shit going on in real life, I can come on here, type out some silly words about Halsin, and then share ideas and creative works and so much more with you. I am hundreds of times happier than I was six months ago because of you guys.

I love our tiny corner of fandom. Thank you all for giving me a place where my thoughts actually mean something to someone and where I can have yours shared with me too!!!

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wittlesissyb4by · 3 months

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What is the most valuable lesson you've learnt in therapy so far?

That's a really good question. It's hard for me to narrow it down to one thing. I've only recently started therapy over the past few months, and I don't go often because I can't really afford to. But the few sessions I have had have taught me a lot about myself.

I don't need to go into all the details, but I suffer from non-manic bipolar type II. It doesn't affect me nearly as much while I'm on medication, but I'm learning to recognize warning signs of when I get into my dips and gives me strategies to help pull myself out without relying on medication too much. the goal is to eventually ween me off of it.

I'm learning to be comfortable with the fetishes I have. It may not seem like it because I use this site as an outlet, but I really do struggle with the fact that I like diapers and other non-'masculine' stuff. It's caused me a lot of shame and guilt, and I'm learning to be at peace with myself and be comfortable in my own skin. For so long I haven't felt like I was good enough for anyone. That I'm a burden to anyone that would try to be with me because I bring along a lot of baggage that most women would not want to have to deal with. In my eyes, a woman doesn't want to change the diaper of their boyfriend/husband. No girl wants that. Which I'm learning may not necessarily be true. If I'm true to myself and the right person comes along that cares about me, they may want to partake in those things to see me happy.

Believe it or not, we are actually doing a form of hypnosis called Rapid Resolution Therapy or RRT. I look back and forth at this light while paying attention to what my body is doing to overcome anxiety. I thought it was a load of shit because I've always been scientifically minded and thought hypnosis was bullshit, but it actually has some studies to back it up, and does seem to be having a positive effect.

I'm rambling, but to answer your question: it's not really any one thing, because humans are complicated. We all have our unique things we're going through. But I think most general advice I've learned that applies to almost everyone is that a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. So make sure to exercise, don't eat a lot of junk, and go outside. It sounds so simple, but it really does help.

Thanks for asking, sorry for such a long-winded response.

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talesfromdvalin · 6 months

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WELT YANG AS YOUR THERAPIST

Please, be careful. Age difference, daddy issues. Translate or reblog is alright, but remember, that I may ask you to delete if I would not alright with your blog. Thank you. The place I will most of all.

How many clients does he have?

ㅤ Welt is popular in the private clinic as one of the best therapists that can be recommended. He has been in practice for over fifteen years, making him a one-stop pill for ailments, and all people who have come to see him at least once have stayed for several more appointments afterwards. The main problem was the price of the session. Not everyone could afford the expensive pleasure of brain therapy, but Welt , the damn empath, couldn't control the sincere sympathy inside him, and it turned out the same way every time: he made discounts or helped his clients outside of working hours, which greatly burdened the man and turned him into a walking dead man.

ㅤ He has a problem with sleep deprivation. It's a good thing that Welt learns to separate work and non-work time by drawing a clear and obvious line; it often takes him a long time to get into the "I'm not laboring" state.

ㅤ How quickly will you realize that this therapist is right for you?

ㅤ If your type is grown men who wear glasses and look extremely stern, empathic, and multi-faceted, then immediately. Perhaps simply because you won't have a particularly big choice - you'll find yourself in an emotionally tight space with a man who smells like vanilla and bitter coffee beans. Mr. Yang keeps eye contact at all times, sometimes oblivious to the fact that people might be uncomfortable with it, and there's a real understanding shining at the bottom of his glossy eyes. It's probably the reason people stay with him and sometimes even want to get an extracurricular contact, but Welt very rarely shares phone numbers. He wants to dedicate his life to people, but he can't leave himself out. Psychotherapists also have the right to get sick and prescribe medication for themselves, but it's not to say that Welt does it often - it's hard to figure out how to self-medicate. Plus, he's too tired, so he mostly takes sedatives or brain-activating substances when he's tired.

ㅤ Welt Yang is very good at hearing people's demands and distinguishing between urges. He prioritizes correctly, though he may pretend to follow a person's need to get rid of this or that sore first. In a sense, he enlightens illusions, making them believable by actually attending to more important things and prioritizing competently.

ㅤ Of course, like any therapist, your tolerance may not accrue to each other in tandem, and Mr. Yang may even come across as "stuffy" and "arrogant," in which case the most beneficial option for both of you is to simply walk away.

ㅤ Who will he become to you first - a friend or an object of affection?

At once a creature between the thin two edges. What is he to you? Unknown, but warm and close, surprising. Mr. Yang is the only man who shows care, and the emergence of tender feelings would not surprise him. This happens in practice quite often, and no matter how careful a man is, there are still unpleasant lapses in the course of which one has to balance his work and the health of a client or client in love.

ㅤ Welt is attentive and always beautiful. His delicate hands take notes, focusing on the voice of the person he's talking to - you - time after time. All the beautiful things he does while paying attention to you sink into your very heart. No one has ever treated you with such sensitivity and care, and it makes your heart flutter. Wrong feelings, the nastiest - you were well aware that they had no place, so you kept the fire of unfair attention craving burning in the walls of the office, in the chair you were sitting in. You tried to forget about them for a month, separating them from the next meeting, but it didn't work well. Though sometimes you could even forget that Mr. Yang was waiting for you.

ㅤ "You seem troubled," Welt's address was friendly as usual, "I can help.

ㅤ "You can," you reply wistfully, "but you can't.

ㅤ Yes, that's right. All it takes to quiet a frantically pounding heart is a hug from Mr. Yang, which is unacceptable given that it's a breach of etiquette and the discipline of keeping one's distance. Just one hug will heal your soul and put a nasty hope in your mouth that you'll get a hug again, and then again, and maybe you'll come to Mr. Yang to sleep in his arms, because that was the best medicine he had to offer.

ㅤ The words you spoke already faintly hinted to Welt that something already familiar and quite familiar was happening. Something that Welt wanted less than anything else in the world, and couldn't put it forward as a cure. So the man took a deep breath and admitted to himself: this was a curse that God himself had sent him.

ㅤ How will Welt really feel about you?

ㅤ There's no hiding that disdain and compassion. He'd like to work with happy people, but there's nothing better than watching people walk away from him with a sincere grateful smile. He doesn't count money, he doesn't think about keeping more people for a high income, never no. Seeing your crush means initially noticing the modesty, the avoidance of a direct look, the desire to hear more from himself than stories about himself. The mechanics of the process are perfectly familiar to Mr. Yang, and frankly, he doesn't understand at what point he's doing something wrong. Why do young girls feel almost physical excitement watching his hands, his gait? Maybe he should change his strict clothes for something more primitive and unattractive? But then it would look… tasteless.

ㅤ Welt feels a heaviness in his stomach every time he sees you, as if a heavy stone has been thrown to the bottom of his stomach, pressing him back against the chair. He tries to move less, but sighs more often, and a new feeling slides into his eyes that you haven't yet been able to recognize. Mr. Yang doesn't really feel reciprocated for you, and that would be foolish if it weren't true. Velt has met all sorts of different and unique people in his extensive career experience, and if he could "fall in love" with someone, he'd probably have had time to do so by now. You're still just a teenager in search of yourself, and apparently you have father figure issues since you're clinging to a working adult male.

ㅤ As Welt has said before, this is the bane of his position. He doesn't consider himself particularly handsome or old, though the years are slowly taking their toll, nor does he think about the distant future. He simply has nothing to talk to naive souls about. It's hard to say what qualities you must have to make Welt suddenly want to push the rules aside and be interested in you as an individual, not a patient. And yet if you allow this option, Welt is quite skillful at "extinguishing" the wrong feeling in you.

ㅤ What if it's… the right one? Who but a man to love a man? Mr. Yang will get lost in ideas and thoughts. He won't be able to trust the real him or the false reflection, and the only way out will be the most primitive continuation of the work. Throw the whole thing aside, put a lid on it and throw it down the garbage chute.

ㅤWhat's going on in his family relationships, if any?

ㅤ Welt doesn't have a woman he loves as much as he could, perhaps simply because he doesn't want to commit to a relationship so "recklessly". Things have to go slow and curious, turning interest into romance, and for Mr. Yang, that doesn't mean dating or showing attention at all. Romance is a much broader and more difficult concept; romance is steeped in facial expressions, in rich airs, in subtle touches, in withdrawal. All of this makes the possibility of a therapist-patient relationship closer to reality, because he doesn't need close and constricting contact as a catalyst for falling in love and touching. Welt prefers to touch consciousnesses.

ㅤ Canonical Welt has an adopted son. In the current circumstances, this may be a son he raised long ago and set free to sail, helping both financially and emotionally. Mr. Yang's treasures truly close people, and let's face it, he only has one such person - his son.

ㅤ He has lived a long life, but has never truly learned what it means to love person to person, touching the boundaries of romantic love. Welt loves life in all its manifestations, which is not hard to see.

ㅤ In the evenings, Welt comes home from work to spend time in intoxicating solitude. He doesn't want the opposite outcome. He's not interested in people. After socializing enough at work, sometimes even discussing more fun and curious topics with talkative optimists, his social battery starts to replenish from scratch. Welt sins of watching simple series or programs, choosing them for a long time on the TV. The most primitive timekillers, which he notices in the process of sudden advertisements on his phone, also help him relax. His brain has been working very hard during the day, and all Welt needs is a lack of attention from people.

ㅤHow would he react to your behavior?

ㅤ How would you want him to react? And how do you act yourself? If you openly confess your warm feelings, Welt will listen and nod. He doesn't know how to react. All a man has to do is use a technique he's personally developed - discussion. Why do these feelings arise? What can be done about them? Where to put your energy, how to distract yourself, how to get past the negative experience of rejection…. you will discuss unrequited love with the object of your affection. Veldt may not look worried, but that's only because it's not the first time he's worked under these conditions. My soul's a little twitchy. No, seriously, he's too focused on "right" and "wrong" to recognize spiritual change, so you'd better drop the idea of a long-term relationship.

ㅤ However, if you keep going to him for a year and those feelings persist, Welt will consider… cutting them off. The meetings, I mean. It's going too far, he's getting worse from your presence, from looking at this sad existence. My heart. is torn with sympathy. Shame and even guilt that he can't take these feelings and make you happy, as a therapist is required to do. Mr. Yang may be sick. But he can't take this torture any longer.

ㅤ What is the most poignant moment within your relationship and how will it develop further?

ㅤ The moment when Welt goes to get the prescriptions to sign them. He has yet to leave the office, just touching the doorknob, before you grab his sleeve and hug him from behind. It doesn't have to be like this. No. Your warm touch burns cold into his soul and rubs his ribs with ice; Mr. Yang freezes for a few seconds, afraid to even move. How long had it been since anyone had hugged him like this? How long had it been since he had touched anyone? All the usual emptiness of society suddenly presses in, making Welt think as if he's losing something special and unknown, and remains standing for a while longer, letting you warm your hands against his ironed black shirt.

ㅤ Maybe human touch isn't as indifferent to Welt as he thought.

No, when you pull away, everything will go back to normal. He'll continue to exist and return to the empty house adorned with the coziness of a deserted space to play silly time-killers and relax. This is really the only truly enjoyable version of Welt's life. He doesn't feel like discussing the hard days.

ㅤ Although. now you're standing flush against each other and not talking about anything, but Welt gets an unfamiliar feeling of companionship, the truest of conversations. No one could give him non-verbal contact but you, and it triggered adrenaline, fear, desire. Mr. Yang thought about how maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to give you a chance to bond, but not necessarily the one you wanted - just the one that interested you both. Time.

ㅤ Will Welt stop practicing with you when he finds out where this is going?

ㅤ How would you like him to react? And what do you do yourself? If you openly confess your warm feelings, Welt will listen and nod. He doesn't know how to react. All a man has to do is use a technique he's personally developed - discussion. Why do these feelings arise? What can be done about them? Where to put your energy, how to distract yourself, how to get past the negative experience of rejection…. you will discuss unrequited love with the object of your affection. Veldt may not look worried, but that's only because it's not the first time he's worked under these conditions. My soul's a little twitchy. No, seriously, he's too focused on "right" and "wrong" to recognize spiritual change, so you'd better drop the idea of a long-term relationship.

ㅤ What is the most poignant moment within your relationship and how will it develop further?

ㅤ Maybe human touch isn't as indifferent to Welt as he thought.

ㅤ Will Welt stop practicing with you when he finds out where this is going?

ㅤ That's a tough question. He'll really want to, but he just can't. Welt is empathic, and at some point will think it's a little wrong to lose you from his life. Welt is interested in what you have going on, he likes it when you share your joys and experiences. And if this is all over, Welt will stop waiting for the second of every month. It's embarrassing, but it's true.

ㅤ How will he feel behind the walls of his office? Will Welt love you?

ㅤ Humanity. He will feel love for a human being. It won't become a romantic feeling, but it will go deep into the bowels of the mind, and if there is a brain to dig into, Welt will willingly do so and train you. The time you spend together is romantic, tender, but it is still a way of acknowledging each other's respect and importance. Silence means that Welt hears your soul.

ㅤ Learning to love the way Welt loves is very difficult. But his feelings are contagious; gradually you will realize and accept that the love you experience is not as comfortable, interesting, and significant as the love Welt offers. You become friends first and foremost. There is no vulgarity or lust between you, at least not for the first few years, because it requires him to recognize you as part of the family.

ㅤ He will be introducing you to his world and way of thinking. Oh, Yang can hear you and everything about you just fine - so you don't have to worry about being misunderstood.

#drabble #headcanon #au #welt #welt x reader #hsr x reader #welt x you #welt x y/n #honkai #honkai star rail #hsr

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demonangelgirl134 · 7 months

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So what are Satan, Asmodeus, Mammon, Leviathan, Belphegor, Beelzebub, and Lilith's stories? (You told me once that they were all friends, but I'm just curious)

Yes, they're all friends of lucifer. And they all fell with him.

After they defeated Luzbel, they all went different ways, but still stayed friends.

Satan became the sin of wrath and began working in the torture chambers

Asmodeus became the sin of Lust & got married to Satan. She eventually opened a couples therapy and marriage counseling center and began helping other demons with their relationship struggles.

Leviathan opened a dungeon to keep the troublemakers in Hell that are too dangerous in check. His dungeons are the most inescapable facilities in the world. He managed to get ahold of a magic ice sword that only he was able to use that turned people into ice sculptures if they touched the blade. He also became married to Mammon

Mammon became the sin of greed, opened a bank, and became a showman. All of his plays and concerts are only for charity, and he's not as greedy as people think he is. He would rather make a huge fortune and give it to those in need rather than keep it for himself

Belphagor became the sin of sloth and opened three hospitals. She has a medical degree for any type of injury & illness and works her tail off night and day saving lives and taking care of the less fortunate. The only reason why she's lazy most of the time on her days off is because she works so hard.

Beelzebub became the sin of gluttony and opened a food charity center. He became married to Belphagor. He makes food for the less fortunate who can't afford it themselves. He has the ability to magically create food out of nowhere so he doesn't have to cook most of the time.

Lilith was Luzbels apprentice. She handled everything and the smallest of things for him, and he usually used her for physical activity if you know what I mean, even though she was sixteen at the time. When Lucifer fell & defeated Luzbel, she fell in love with him, and they were eventually married, and they had seven children together.

#life of lucifer au #lord lucifer #asmodeus #satan #leviathan #belphagor #beelzebub #mammon #lilith morningstar #lucifer morningstar

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moonlit-positivity · 3 months

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I was asked by someone to talk about why it can be hard to enjoy things sometimes, like the element of guilt and shame around feeling happy, wanting things for recreational fun, even when times are tough and money might be tight.

And it can be more than just hard, it can be impossible at times. There is definitely the element of guilt in the concept of play, especially as an adult. To purposefully choose rest? To purposefully set aside the stress and pick something that soothes instead?

There is a type of vulnerability that comes with it. Like, "why am I not doing this or that right now? I cant afford to rest, i need to be working right now." There is a sense of survival to it all. The sacrifice to get it right, so you don't lose all that you have.

I think this is especially hard if our parents taught us to prioritize work, don't play around so much, grow up & accept responsibility, etc. To be put with such a burden as a child, is just the pavement for the burnout and depression you feel now.

These feelings are so valid, and something a lot of us struggle with. And I think probably the best thing you can do, is to reframe the concept of rest in itself.

Rest is necessary. Rest helps you stay alive, too. Rest is what helps your brain breathe. Rest helps you process on a deeper level. Rest is what gives you purpose.

Resting looks different for everyone. Those childhood hobbies you've wanted to revisit? The games you could never play as a kid? The anime or cartoons you used to watch, or never got to watch? The toys your parents took from you? The innocence and joy you had to sacrifice far too long before your time? You have the right to reclaim that.

Something that helped me a lot with this, was to understand that adults are allowed to have fun too. Just because you're old and grown up now, doesn't mean you gotta do the same old and grown up things your parents did. That's why they're so bitter. They never learned how to have fun. They never learned how to rest.

And maybe that's a hard concept to sit with, you know? Life sucks! It's not always happy fun times! Shit happens!

The concept of rest is what helps us find compassion for ourselves even while life sucks. You don't have to be happy right now, if you don't feel like it. You can be sad, mad, angry, depressed. You can be all of these things, and do nothing about it. You can be all of these things, and dwell in it if you need to.

But, you can also be all of these things and still find time to rest it out. You can enjoy that hobby and still be mad and angry at the end of the day. Be mad and angry while you do it. Do it because you're mad and angry.

My therapist loves it when I tell her, "i wanna take next week off." She says I'm one of the only clients who says that to her. She says, she likes it because I know when I need a break. You don't always have to be working so hard. You are allowed to set those burdens down and take a break.

Even if it's stressful, even if money is tight. You can and still deserve to enjoy yourself in the process.

And speaking of money, let's talk about how society frames poverty in this day and age. People will say shit like, "you're poor because you lack financial management."

Mm. Do yourself a favor and reframe the hell out of that. You're not poor by choice. You don't deserve to suffer just because finances are tight. There is never any moral judgement that should be placed on you just because you can't afford to live like the standard. That is ableist, classist rhetoric at its best.

If you're low on funds and still wanna enjoy your hobbies, consider ways you can get them for free. Oftentimes I've taken to watching let's plays of video games I wanna play, but can't afford. I live vicariously through the free entertainment the world has to offer. I've found refuge in DnD podcasts, gaming videos, art therapy, etc. Sometimes there are even local events in ur area that are hosted for free. You can even check out your local Facebook marketplace for freebies in ur area, too. You definitely don't need money to find a good time. You just need the mindset to know you're deserving of your freedom & autonomy, no matter how you gotta find it.

You deserve the comforts. You deserve the same joy and comfort and happiness of giving yourself the grace and compassion of knowing your situation does not define you.

Go out and find your own definitions of how you want to handle comfort, rest, and your right to feel whatever it is you need to feel about it.

Hope this helps 🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #communication #advice #life advice #rest #emotional autonomy #autonomy #emotional work #inner child #inner child healing #self care #self love #self esteem

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mjalti · 8 months

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Ana, how can I start to reinvent myself? I need to find a way to break the cycle, I live with abusive family which caused me to be really depressed, I dropped out of college and have been working as a waitress, I was fired from my last two jobs because I was too shy and weird (and believe me I've worked hard and managed to improve a little). I'm desperate to find a way to afford to leave this house since things are getting worse, I'm incredibly addicted to music and my phone to escape reality (the only time I feel good) and can't afford therapy so I really don't know where to even start. I have so much anger in me it scares me and paralyzes me.

right now, you have a lot going on.

i would recommend channeling your frustrations into songwriting since music is so powerful for you and you have a connection to it already. you cannot change your family but you can be different from them. i dont know what you are or aren’t allowed to do, but consider starting to go for walks in nature if you can and then write songs in a journal/app there. Next, look up people who have been in similar circumstances as you; see what they did to get out/how they were able to move forward in life. Understand that an abuser always fears your power and will never make it easy for you to be a version of yourself that succeeds. So what can you do to make yourself indigestible? I know you dropped out of college, but consider the idea of taking one class at a time, reaching out to guidance counselors/financial office for aid.

Right now, therapy may not be a tangible goal for you. That’s ok; we have to survive before we thrive. think of something short-term you can do. I always advocate for getting any type of job in a hospital bc a hospital will often pay 100% tuition for school after a year of employment, but even if you decide you don’t want to go to school, you have a solid career. I wish you the best!

#qnotqueue #anonymous

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ruvviks · 7 days

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🤡 👻 🙉 🐌 🥞 🎮 🌠AND 💘 for nathan [:

oc asks!

🤡 CLOWN FACE: Are they afraid of clowns? What “silly” fears do they have?

nathan isn't necessarily afraid of clowns, but they would make him very paranoid and on edge. he would not make eye contact with any of them because that's how they get you. he doesn't need to draw that sort of attention to himself

most of nathan's fears are actually very serious and even the smaller seemingly innocent things have a very heavy weight to them (such as getting scared when someone locks the door of the room he's in), so i wouldn't say he has any silly fears. they all stem from deep within himself and even if he himself thinks they're weird or stupid, his friends take them very seriously because they know how he's been hurt in the past

👻 GHOST: Do they believe in the supernatural or paranormal? Have they ever had any “encounters”?

so this is fun because nathan is a sceptic. all the way down to the bones. he does not believe in ghosts he does not want to believe in ghosts. everything that's happened to him in the STEM environments was horrible and bad but it made sense since it was all consciousnesses linked together creating a horrible nightmare environment. but ghosts in the real world? no such thing. that's not real. can't be. surely

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL: Are they good at keeping secrets? Do they share their own secrets?

nathan is the best person to trust with literally anything. he will not ever forget but he will also never talk about it to someone else your secret is 10000% safe with him and he is very serious about it. he never talks about his own problems though you couldn't waterboard any of that out of him

🐌 SNAIL: What’s their happy place? Do they have somewhere they can retreat to just chill out for a while?

nathan doesn't really have much of a happy place, more just a comfort place. his apartment is the safest place on earth to him and he loves it there, but at the same time it's isolating him from the rest of the world and being in there doesn't really make him as happy as other things could :( he needs the solitude and the comfort of that place at the same time which makes it very hard to break out of that cycle, there's nowhere else for him to go so he doesn't really have any alternatives

🥞 PANCAKES: What’s their comfort food?

any food can be comfort food to nathan if he craves it enough LMAO but in general he is a sucker for korean fried chicken. you could give him that whenever and he will eat all of it and if you then give him more he will eat more of it

🎮 VIDEO GAME: Do they play video games? What kind of games do they prefer?

nathan plays shooters!! he doesn't really have the attention span for any complicated storylines or puzzles or stealth or whatever so just straightforward run and gun blast your way through hordes of zombies or demons or other enemies type of games would be his favorite :]

🌠 SHOOTING STAR: If they had one (or three) wishes, what would they wish for?

nathan would wish for as much money as he needs so he can live comfortably without worrying about not being able to pay the bills ever again, with some extra cash to help out his friends too. most of his worries balance entirely on his home situation which is mainly stressful because of him being unable to keep a job and because of that running low on funds, he can't afford therapy even if he wanted to and can't get the proper medication that he needs and it's all turning his life to shit :( so to have financial stability would help him out so so much

💘 HEART WITH ARROW: Do they ever get crushes? What do they do when they have feelings for someone?

nathan gets crushes very easily but it mostly just boils down to people giving him attention and him mistaking it for romantic (or sexual) interest and it often leads to him trying to make a (mainly sexual) move to show that he cares about that person in return, since it's the only "love language" he knows... he THINKS he loves them in a charged way but it's generally just him feeling comfortable and safe with someone which hasn't happened much in his past, which is why he doesn't really know what to do with it. but most of it is just friendship

now that he HAS in fact fallen in love with someone he doesn't even realize that it's happened which is a very funny contrast with what i just described above. it's because it comes a lot more natural to him this time, and it doesn't feel forced and he doesn't feel like he needs to pay the other person back in some sort of way which takes away the whole trying to make a move on them and just leaves hanging out together and naturally growing closer over time. it's a lot better and healthier for him :]

#asks #mojaves #ask:nathan #oc asks #THAMK YOU MY BELOVED... some of these answers are a bit shorter than usual but my brain is leaking out of my head right now #nathan mistaking people caring for him for trying to get in bed with him is something that can be so [dies in the fucking explosion

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ina-nis · 8 months

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I don't know if this is a symptom of AvPD but it's definitely not anything "normal" - it is a symptom of something.

I fall in love easily, over time, as I deepen my connections and feel safe with the other person, receiving the amount of attention that triggers it.

A superficial connection evolving into close relationships, then... unrequited love. It is very intense, and devastating.

Reading about "how to stop falling in love easily" or "how to not get a crush on a friend" don't really help either. Distancing myself from others and keeping relationships superficial is already something I do, for example. Or that you should rely on other friends and family - well, I will fall in love with my friends if I have not yet. If our relationship stop being superficial, it will happen 100% of the time.

Yes, even when they're partnered and married even. It doesn't matter for my feelings, all what matters is that someone is my object of love and I want them. But I can't have them so I "stop".

This is why I keep my relationships superficial and go out of my way to remain distant from partnered friends.

Unrequited love is really, really painful.

"Of course! You only think about love all the time! You need to do something else!"

Imagine my life is a puzzle.

I already have most of it complete.

There's one piece missing. I can't find it.

I could call it a day and just say "this is good enough".

But I can't. I literally can't. My brain doesn't obey me. I can't stop obsessing over it, that missing piece. I can't reframe the situation and think about all the good work I've already done because the puzzle is incomplete.

Even when I try to add other pieces that seem similar, they don't quite fit in there and that upsets me!

(Remember: this is all happening while I'm struggling with my brain to stop doing that because this is not what I want!)

Trying to not think about the missing piece makes me think about it even more.

Trying to do anything else works for as long as I'm doing things. All. The. Time. It's absolutely exhausted and the moment I stop? The missing piece! Why can't I find it?!

That missing piece is romantic love.

That missing piece is ruining everything else I have going on in my life because I can't simply ignore it, reframe it or find a substitute.

And I can't solve it either! Obviously...

Yes, this is going to keep on ruining all my relationships.

And yes, I'm positive once I find that missing piece, I'll get actually better - I cannot do that on my own, considering what I need.

I've been probably in denial for year and years about having obsessive-compulsive traits, because they don't present in the "stereotypical" forms.

It's in my mind, in my feelings.

What really aggravate things is the fact that this compulsion is not on me, towards myself or towards objects and places.

It's about other people and about my feelings toward said people.

The treatment for OCD and other Obsessive-Compulsive related disorders is medication and therapy. Medication have not helped me in any of my mental illnesses, and therapy (I can afford) is extremely limited and shallow for the type of complex problem I'm dealing with.

So no, distractions don't help for long enough. And this is not a matter of finding stopgaps and substitutes either.

I know what the problem is, I know what the solution is, I'm trying to get it but it doesn't depend on me only. It's very frustrating.

I'm happy with my life.

I finally have a self-esteem.

I can't stop my obsessive thoughts.

It's like... they exist separately from my happiness and self-esteem - understandably so! - so there's not much those 2 will be able to do to help because I can't make the missing piece issue "disappear" from my mind with a good self-esteem or happiness in other areas of life. They're completely different things.

Do you know what that space that can be filled by the missing piece represents?

Emotional loneliness.

I don't know if I'll find the missing piece. I don't know if it exists at all. I just wish I could... remove myself from it even if a tiny bit without burning out. I wish I could establish and maintain my connections and get closer, deeper, without having romantic feelings getting in the way.

I feel like I can't help it. It's not my fault.

Love (of the romantic type) is an emotion and like all of them, it has a purpose and a place.

I cannot get rid of it.

#avpd #avoidant #avoidance #avoidant personality disorder #loneliness #ocd #romantic love #inanis post

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aphrodite1288 · 8 months

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Jongin is afraid because he has a small penis. If Kyungsoo tries out a club with a good dick, he'll leave him. Kyungsoo needs a man who won't fuck with his brains and ruin his career.

You seem so mad. Please don't cry. Have you been in Ji's pants ? Did he f/uck you In your dreams? God I knew you have a vast imagination.

Also why are you telling me this? Go tell that to your Ksoo Oppa. Ow! He doesn't know you exist! 🫢 He seems so whipped on his man and Rides his D"ick every night probably doing it right now as you're typing this BS. I'm sure if you told him he would laugh at you and slap you in the face.

Anyway whatever makes you sleep at night Patricia. Just relax please. I'm worried about you. You seem so hurt. 🫢

Stop sending me you're not affecting me one bit with your funny asks, you only make me laugh while you hurt yourself when I reply to you. You make me hurt you. But Ow if coming to my Inbox to rant and vent about your oppressions and complexes and mental illness would make you feel better because you can't afford serious Medical therapy then I'm more happy to help 🥺

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stimmingbabie · 9 months

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My Take On Self DXing

Disclaimer: My definition of self diagnosing is putting in A LOT of time into researching, trying to get a professional diagnosis *first and foremost*, among other elements. Not just looking at the top 3 traits of a disorder and saying "that's me!", that is not recommended and I do not condone that! Please be safe <3

I'm making this post because I've gotten some comments here and there of people using my posts as a reason to self diagnose/suspect autism, BPD, etc (whatever else I post about). I do *not* condone using my posts as a tool for this, as this blog is all about my *personal* experiences with being neurodivergent. Everyone is so vastly different and I do not represent everyone with these disorders! However, as someone who has self diagnosed before getting professionally diagnosed (and still haven't been professionally diagnosed with them all!), I understand the need for an identity and an explanation for your experiences. So here's some reasons I support self diagnosing, some tips, and some warnings.

Why I support self diagnosing

Mental health care in certain locations are absolutely horrible. Where I live, mental health care is...very limited. The professionals in my area are trained in very few areas, mainly depression and anxiety, and are trained to do very specific types of therapies, medications etc. For example, in the ER I was given a xanax for a panic attack, and this worked wonders for me, however when going to a psychiatrist I was told they don't prescribe those on the off chance that someone will get addicted. Because of this, my anxiety has been overlooked and I've been given medications that did not work and has even given me a bad reaction. Needless to say, I stopped going to psych appointments. (I don't recommend this for everyone! This is just a personal experience).

Insurance isn't always an option. Without insurance, you will be paying out of pocket for evaluations, therapies and treatments. Even a diagnosis. An autism diagnosis here out of pocket is anywhere from $1k USD to $6k USD in most places for adults! That includes the two part evaluation and then having it on paper. I have what's called a pending diagnosis of autism, which means that I was given a basic screening (thankfully for free, but it costs $500 out of pocket on average here!), and the results were that I am very highly likely on the spectrum, but I can't afford to continue with the evaluation. So my health care team knows that I am autistic but will not put it on paper, therefore I can't get any accommodations with my insurance, and any accommodation that I need has to be listed for "anxiety", which my insurance doesn't see as a big enough problem in an adult to cover things for.

Being professionally diagnosed is a privilege. A lot of mental health professionals have a bias, and this is an unfortunate truth. Racism, sexism, classism, and even fatphobia play a huge part in how you're treated by the health care system, including mental health care. For example, if a healthy, average white cis man goes in and explains his symptoms and can afford to pay whether it be through insurance or out of pocket, he will be taken much more seriously than someone who is not any of the above.

Why I don't support certain self diagnosing disorders

A self diagnosis is not anywhere close to a substitution for a professional diagnosis. You will not get the proper therapy, treatment, or accommodations necessary by self diagnosing. You also won't be taken seriously by professionals if you walk into their office and say that you have a disorder, because their next question will be if you have documentation of the diagnosis. If you are suffering from a severe mental illness such as schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder, you will likely need treatment and therapy if at all possible. If you are able to get this, please do!! Do not suffer alone!!

Some disorders have overlapping symptoms...autism included. While I support self diagnosing autism to an extent, you have to realize that autism in a person who does not have high support needs will more often than not look very similar to ADHD, OCD etc etc. Autism being a spectrum can make it look like so many different things in so many different people. Someone with autism may be hyperverbal, able to read tone of voice and emotions with ease, and be outgoing, which are all traits that are not inherently apart of autism.

If you do not have *insert disorder that you self diagnosed*, you may be spreading misinformation. Many mental illnesses are already so stigmatized. Regardless of if YOU think that YOU have this disorder and that YOUR experiences are part of it, if you're wrong you may be adding to the stigma. For example, there are a lot of people who fake tourettes, dissociative identity disorder, etc. and this is very dangerous to people who actually suffer from these conditions. When self diagnosing please be mindful of others when you post about it publicly and be sure to specify that you are self diagnosed if you do! This is not meant to be mean or make you feel any less valid. Your experiences, regardless of your disorder or label, is 100% valid and you deserve to be taken seriously. But you have to realize that your words have impact on others.

"Tips" for self diagnosing

Don't! If you can easily get a professional diagnosis. See above points for why.

If you do, put in the research! This doesn't mean look up "autism spectrum disorder" on Google and look at the first 3 symptoms and decide that you resonate. Look up how it is professionally diagnosed, what the DSM-5 criteria is, and speak with/watch content creators, friends, family etc that have been diagnosed!

Take note of the different variations in different individuals. Do not watch one YouTube channel of a person with *insert disorder* and think that they represent the entire community. They do not. Not one single person represents an entire community, this goes for any, mental illnesses, physical illnesses, etc. If you know one person with autism you know one person with autism.

Research other conditions that are similar. You think you're autistic? Cool, research it as stated above! But don't forget to research ADHD, OCD, and other disorders that have overlapping symptoms! And yes, it is possible to have multiple, which is another reason why self diagnosing can be tricky.

ABOVE ALL ELSE: LISTEN TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED AND TO PROFESSIONALS!

There is no shame in telling someone, especially a therapist, that you think you have a disorder. What will likely happen is that the more you fight for yourself and your concerns the more you will be taken seriously and possibly given an opportunity to get a screening. The worst that will happen is that you'll self diagnose and get it wrong, but possibly be properly diagnosed! You know yourself better than anyone. Regardless of what label you have, you are valid, you are loved and you will be okay. If you ever have any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me! I'm here for you!

For transparency, this is my situation:

Autism - pending diagnosis, see above ADHD - diagnosed PTSD - diagnosed Dissociative identity disorder - diagnosed, previously self diagnosed Borderline personality disorder - sort of pending. was told by a therapist that it seems more likely that I have BPD than bipolar disorder, but it was never screened. self diagnosed Bipolar type 1 with psychosis - diagnosed, mixed beliefs from different professionals, personally undiagnosed Eating disorder - diagnosed (will not elaborate, am in recovery!)

#adhd #autism #actually adhd #actually autistic #autistic #asd #borderline personality disorder #bpd #cluster b #ptsd #disordered eating #bipolar #dissociative identity disorder #did system #mental health #mental health awareness #self diagnosis #self diagnosed #self dx

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yanderememes · 2 years

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i’ll raise you one: giorno would probably be the type to fall in love with his therapist ngl. after the events of part 5, he definitely will need some form of therapy — money wouldn’t be a problem so he affords the best in his area. now, i wouldn’t say delusional, since he does know that their patience and listening ear is a part of their job. but would it truly be that outlandish to have hope that your kind phrases, when you go out of your way to chat with him outside of your office? how could he not be touched and just maybe… grow attached.

Ahh~

He would be torn apart cuz he knows this is your job and it's what you are paid to do. To listen to him, empathize, and give him support wherever needed. He'll try to rationalize this for as long as possible. But once he finds out that you are like this outside of your job too, then that's when he'll start catching feels.

Giorno is possessive, so once he starts growing attached to you, he'll want you to stop seeing other clients. In mob boss style, he'll "take care" of them, leaving you with only him as your client.

Of course, he'll introduce the idea of beginning a romantic relationship but you'll have to explain you cannot as it's unethical and considered malpractice. And if you're being completely honest, your feelings towards Giorno only extend as a professional curiosity on your end.

It'll hurt to hear that you only see him as a patient, but he doesn't worry too much. He's confident in his ability and power to make you his soon enough. He'll make you an offer you can't refuse~

#ask #anonymous #yandere #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #yandere jojo x reader #jojo golden wind #jojo part 5 #jojo vento aureo #yandere giorno #yandere giorno giovanna #giorno x reader #giorno giovanna x reader

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1stthingsfirst · 8 months

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On Rehab

I've seen a lot of posts that suggest folks may not know much about rehab, so I'm jumping in with my experience.

Disclaimer: This is from a US-perspective, and from a person who has helped loved ones research/enter rehab but who has not gone myself. I did a little research and it seems like the options are similar in Thailand.

There are multiple forms of rehab:

Rehab can be inpatient (aka residential treatment) where you live at the rehab center. Rehab can also be outpatient where you live at your home and visit the rehab center regularly for individual and group therapy. A lot of people do a short stint (from a few days to weeks) inpatient before switching to outpatient. I'm calling this mixed rehab.

Inpatient programs are considered the gold star for treatment. They have the lowest relapse rates after release, so they are an excellent option if you can afford them. They are especially recommended for people who need a medically-supervised detox and/or more intensive oversight/care and an externally-imposed schedule and rules.

We know Ray can afford it, but inpatient programs are generally extremely expensive so many people opt for outpatient/mixed care due to affordability. They are also great options for people who can't take time away from work or family.

The absolute best chances at recovery are if you participate in at least 90 days inpatient, followed by outpatient care and ongoing participation in support groups. The longer you stay in any form of treatment, the higher the recovery success rate.

All that's to say: We don't yet know what type of program Ray will choose and if he will be away from home for any period of time. Based on what we saw in episode 10, I think he visited a hospital-based program, which is more likely to be mixed or outpatient. Plus, we see him out and about quite a bit in the episode 11 preview, so it's unlikely that he's (at least initially) choosing an inpatient program.

No one asked, but FYI, Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are not rehab because they do not offer comprehensive supports. They are support groups. Participation in AA/NA/other support groups during and/or after rehab decreases likelihood of relapse, but they're not the same as rehab.

#only friends the series #ray only friends #raysand #sandray #rehab #addiction #alcoholism #sand x ray #meta #if my research is correct #thai inpatient programs average ~10000 USD/month #in the US it costs anywhere from ~$5k-80k no joke #also most people relapse after recovery #(40-60% within the first month and 85% within the first year)#no matter the type of rehab program #so when we talk program costs #just assume you're paying for rehab more than once #and multiply per time

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like-wuatafauq · 8 months

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Things that have genuinely helped me with PTSD: TW:

(These are some things that worked for me that I figured out so they might not work for everyone)

• I took myself to a wreck room so I could wreck something without injuring myself (if you can't afford this, use old clothes, fabrics and tear it or just simply throw it out. This helped me a lot when it comes down to SA)

• Touching the nearest texture(like a wall or fabric) and focusing on it, I use this often when my mind confuses the location/time I'm at.

• Looking at the year/date and thinking how I'm no longer there or something is no longer happening

• Thinking of someone who calms me (if you feel that you don't have someone, think of how your body is there for you and trying its best, I've done both and when it comes down to thinking of my body caring for me it also helped me start caring for my body and taking the steps to feel/be more healthy, this eventually led me to do less selfharm things)

• Knowing that just because I'm trying to be healthy/ get better doesn't mean I should be mean to myself when I'm not.

• Practicing breathing techniques every now and then even when I'm not having a ptsd attack

• Allowing yourself to be cared for little by little to what you're comfortable of course but the right people/partner won't see you as a burden

• I struggled a lot with nightmares not just from SA but other life and military things so I stopped dissecting the nightmares to "fix" myself and would remind myself they are just nightmares, I also go to sleep with piano music instead of other music or even orchestra music that has big jumps in the song. Good examples of the calm piano music:

Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino,Olga Scheps,

Before You Left by Yehezkel Raz

An Elephant for Mum by Joachim Heinrich

Back in Time by Borrtex.

Because these types of songs don't have drastic changes in volume/tempo throughout the song that can cause more sleep disturbance.

• Letting people know what your triggers are but also working on how they don't always have to be a trigger for you. What I mean: cabinets, doors or anything being slammed or making a slamming noise always triggers me and I've let my roommates know which they've done very good at but when they are rushing and something gets slammed etc. I remind myself they are not doing it on purpose and they are not trying to hurt me. I still flinch, I still worry, but not as much anymore and over time I've been able to even ask if something is up which before I use to just have a sinking feeling they were mad and would take it out on me. It helped me a lot to realize that just because I have a trigger not everyone is going to hurt me

• Doing childlike things help!!! Pretend ptsd is a bully and it's just being mean to you, tell it to go away!! I use to open up a window at night after I had a nightmare and would be like "okay that was mean go away"

• Going back to therapy and taking meds (and if you are already taking meds this is a quick reminder to take your meds with food and water so it doesn't upset your stomach)

• Deciding to actually move on. I have talked to multiple therapists about things but it took me a while to realize talking about it helps but doesn't always work on letting it go. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOURE GOING TO FORGET AND ITLL MAGICALLY DISSAPPEAR. This all took years, effort, and also allowing myself to take breaks, reminding myself that just because I still get nightmares, have triggers etc. Doesn't mean there isn't improvement. And just because there is improvement doesn't mean that what happened is no longer "as bad". It does not invalidate how bad it was. A big thing with any mental health disorders is admitted and allowing yourself to see that you're dealing with something hard. Just because what happened doesn't seem as bad or affect me as much anymore doesn't mean it wasn't a terrible thing, it certainly doesn't mean that if someday I need to breakdown as if it happened yesterday that all that work was for nothing. It was for something. It was to enjoy life a little better, care for myself a little better, be able to have better in all sorts of aspects. You deserve to be happy,loved and cared for after something shitty happened. Because the truth is it was shit. Can you honestly expect someone to go through something insane and be sane? No, so go easy on yourself, take your time. The right people will be there for you, The right people will show up, The right people will stay and put effort and won't see you as a waste or burden.

I hope this helps anyone even just a tiny bit. If you need someone to talk to, rant or ask for advice etc. Just leave me a msg or an Ask, anon or not. Take care, it's going to be alright. And if it's shitty now, and there's nothing good anyone can say then, it's shit that's fucking shitty and you're allowed to feel like shit. Lastly, if you're not able to fully recover, I'm still proud of you and you should be too.

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