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cryptidghostgirl · 3 months

Note

Hey hey! i have a third angsty silly idea teehee (yes same person who requested the one where wife reader gets teleported to the hotel and the one with the fake dating trope-)

Im at it again with my silly ideas i can’t quite get out of my head- so picture this RIGHT before the begging of the second fic (loved it btw if i could id kiss you on the mouth)

(this interaction is important) Reader is eyeing Alastor to subconsciously make him talk to her, he does of course it goes a bit like “Alastor dear, havent seen you before?” "Just moved in, thought of making some acquaintances” and they talk, reader tells him “a charmer too? should be careful around you not to break my heart” or smth smilar idk i suck at dialogue

And then the partnership happens and theyve been at it for a while (like at least 5 years id say)- until Readers twin brother dies in a planned house fire and she goes out for revenge, before that they have a fight like “youre going to be out numbered” “its suicide” blah blah blah- and eventually reader goes out alone

She does manage to to kill the criminals but because of the cold January weather and the exhaustion of it all- reader gets hypothermia and in the frenzy thats caused by it stumbles and falls into a fence spike of an abandoned farmhouse, gets impaled right below the ribs teehee, Alastor eventually finding her and goes out to bury her properly.

readers death happens in 1925 -8 years before alastor which gibes her enough time to take over half the pentagram with her blizzard/ice powers (cuz i think theyre. cool ;)) and is also important reader has a long tail with fluff (which can turn into a heart shaped fur or have happy/angry twitches) at the end because i think its cute and because her demon form has one so it matches (think the faceless room guardians by anyaboz on IG but fully white- with a void face from which emerges a dog skull at will). the normal form being overall relatively normal aside from the long ears and black limbs that symbolize the hypothermia part of the death (Yes this is an Oc but im making it a bit more generic for everyone :>)

When alastor does die in 1933 (when he got shot visiting readers grave) he hears of this blizzard overlord and goes a bit into her territory and into a bar where he sees a somewhat familiar person teehee and they have the same first conversation over again but in hell :D and then get reunited but possibly pull out their signature weapons on each other again for old times sake 😇

also i love you so much for taking the time to write my dreams it does mean quite a lot to me and if you want i can give more ideas because i have a lot more- 😇 (im tottaly not insane and or delusional i swear-)

A/N of course?? I’m obsessed with your requests. they’re always so fun. Also as a heads up, I decided not to do this as a part to for cover up because I got an earlier request asking to do a part two for that and I try to address requests in the order I receive them. I also made some other minor changes just to make it work a little smoother. Also, please keep sending in requests, yours are always so fun.

Frostbite (Alastor X Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Murder, death, gore, arson, a little bit of angst.

Word Count: 3,949

Master Lists:

Master Lists

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Alastor sat at the bar of Mimzy's club drinking like he did every friday night. Normally the whirling dancers and loud music merely served to give him a headache, normally he ignored them and all the fans who somehow recognized him from the radio. Tonight was far from normal, tonight there was someone new.

Spinning on the dance floor, the fringe of her blood red dress spinning out from her legs. The woman was all smiles, all laughter, and she seemed never to turn down a partner. He watched her, entranced.

The woman wasn't a talented dancer, far from it in fact, but what she lacked in skill she made up for in enthusiasm and enjoyment. He had no intentions of doing anything other than watching her enchanting display until he made eye contact with her across the club. She blushed, turning away and quickly engaging a friend in conversation.

It was all the encouragement Alastor needed. In the dim light of the speakeasy, Alastor smiled to himself. He downed the rest of his drink and got to his feet. The crowed of dancers parted to make way for him like the red sea, waves of whispers following his path. He could hear the chatter, knew the rumors that he was a man uninterested in women, uninterested in love or romantic involvements of any type He knew that that was what everyone was speaking of as he approached the first new face the tired old place had seen in ages.

Coming to a stop behind the woman, her friend saw him first. It made sense, her back was turned to him after all, a result of her embarrassment at having been caught staring. He friend tapped her shoulder, indicating for the woman to turn around, and she spun. Alastor could feel the hem of her dress as it brushed against his leg through the fabric of his pants. His smile grew.

"Haven't seen you around here before Darling," he hummed, "new in town?"

"Just moved in, actually." the woman bashfully replied, clasping her hands behind her back and crossing one foot in front of the other.

The position it threw her body into sent Alastor's mind reeling. He hadn't expected that. Sure, she was pretty and different, new, but Alastor didn't feel things like that. At least, not normally.

"Well, I'd love to give you a tour sometime. The name is Alastor, Alastor Hartifelt."

This was the test: his name. How would she react? Was she just another one of his simpering fans, begging for his favor, for his attention, or would she do something interesting?

He held out a hand which she daintily rested her own in, a smile spreading across her face.

"Y/n L/n. I'm free tomorrow morning?"

Alastor was lucky, Saturday mornings were one of the few he had free. Gently, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand. Y/n felt her heart flutter inside her chest.

"Ah, a charmer." she hummed as Alastor raised his head again and she took her hand from his, "I'll have to be careful around you."

Everything had snowballed from there. The tour around the city had spiraled into dinner which had further fallen into an attempt by Alastor to take her life. He had been curious, how it would feel when the life drained from her body at the force of his hands. Instead, she had met his advances by holding her own knife to his throat.

It became a game of sorts for the two, always trying to outwit one another, one up each other, land the other six feet under. The game ended when Alastor was chasing Y/n through the woods and she had stumbled, falling to the ground. He had grinned maniacally as he had advanced on her, as she had scrambled on the ground away from him. Knife raised, her back against a tree, she had breathlessly asked him out on a date. How could he say no? Especially when he looked up and saw that she had planned this all along. There was no other way their initials could be carved into the surface of the very thing that had stopped her escape. It was perfect, she was perfect.

Five years of bliss. Five years of feathery kisses and passion. Five years of waking up to her smiling face, of washing the blood off each other's hands, of nearly wedded bliss. Then there had been the fire.

Y/n had a twin brother, a brute of a thing who always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Despite his flaws, Y/n loved him. This time, on a January morning in 1925, he had pissed off the wrong person and gotten himself killed. Y/n was inconsolable, spent every waking moment tracking the killer. It didn't take her long to get a lead.

She was halfway out the door when Alastor found her, shoving knives into her pockets and grabbing a gun. There was a wild, unfocused look in her eyes. Alastor turned his gaze momentarily to the setting sun as it sent rays of liquid golden light bouncing off the snow.

"Darling, what are you doing?"

"Going out." she gruffly replied, adjusting the laces on one of her shoes.

Alastor sighed. Y/n had mentioned to him just the day before that she had an idea of who was behind the murder and it wasn't pretty. The most controversial and strongest gang in the city had, according to her research, wielded the flames. Alastor took a step forward, placing a hand on Y/n's shoulder and she turned to him. Her eyes were hard and narrow, her face contorted by rage.

"Y/n, please." Alastor began, treading carefully, "Not tonight. It's awful out, and you just confirmed everything today."

"No." Y/n shook her head, "No, I can't wait to do this any longer, Al. It has already been nearly a month, I can't..."

She looked away, raising a fist to her heart, her shoulders hunching slightly.

"I can't."

"And I can't loose you." Alastor quickly replied, using his free hand to turn her face back to his.

"So come with me."

He hesitated. Y/n saw the look on his face, the doubt. She shook herself from his grip, turning back to the door.

"Alright. I'll go alone."

"Y/n," Alastor pleaded, taking another step towards her as she grabbed her coat off the hook on the wall, "it is too dangerous. I can't let you do this."

"Let me do this?" Y/n spun around, her coat in her hand and flames licking at the corners of her voice, "You can't let me do this?"

Alastor took a breath, trying desperately to keep his own anger at bay.

"There are too many of them." he tried to reason with her, "You can't do it on your own."

"So come with me!"

"I..."

Y/n scoffed, sliding her jacket onto her arms. Turning back to the door once again, she unlocked it. Her hand rested on the knob, she took a breath. Their eyes met over her shoulder.

"I'll be home later."

She swung the door open and stepped out into the night. Alastor trailed after her, the snow sinking into his socks. It was cold, a terrible night.

"Y/n, you'll die!"

"Do you truly have that little faith in me!?" she spun around, her rage radiating off of her, devouring everything in sight.

Alastor had never seen her like this before. He halted in his tracks.

"Please, I can't..." he took a deep breath, emotions had always been a struggle, "I can't loose you too."

"But I'm supposed to loose my brother and know who did it and do nothing?!" she screamed back at him.

"You will die!"

Y/n turned her back on him once again. She unlatched the gate to the garden and slipped through it, letting it fall shut behind her.

"So be it."

"Y/n!"

Alastor tried to run after her but, it was simply too cold. His limbs were numb, he stumbled.

"Y/n!" he yelled again but, she didn't turn around.

He could see her, in that red dress. She looked like she did the first time he had ever met her as she disappeared into the night. He knew it was his mind playing tricks on him, it felt like an omen.

Alastor stood in the cold for a few minutes longer before resigning himself to the truth of it all: Y/n was going to do what she was going to do. He just had to hope she would come back, that the damage he had done in refusing to back her up like that wouldn't be enough to have driven her away. That she was strong enough to make it out alive.

The fireplace crackled invitingly. No matter how warm and cheerful it made the room, Alastor couldn't stop the dread. He sat down on the couch before it, painfully aware of the empty spot beside him. He tried to read.

The hours ticked by, seconds dragging on for eternity. Still, Y/n was not yet home. Alastor couldn't focus on anything. He couldn't 't read, couldn't sleep, could barely sit still. He paced circles around the room as the sun rose, he called in sick to work, intent on being there should she return.

When it reached four pm, when it had been nearly twenty full hours since she had left, he decided to go out and look for her. Y/n had always been messy, always bad at putting things away. While normally it had irritated him to no end, he now found himself grateful. He swore to whatever gods were listening that if she was alright, he would never bother her about it again because right there on top of her desk were all her plans, including the exact location of the gang's hideout, the exact place she had disappeared to.

The sight that met Alastor when he reached the old warehouse on the outskirts of the city was one he would never forget. Blood stained the snow red and there were bodies everywhere, both outside and within. It was clearly, Y/n's handiwork and he couldn't help but feel a tad impressed, he had underestimated her yet again. His slight smile, a result of the realization, fell as he spotted the footprints leading out of the backdoor.

He had tracked Y/n enough times to know they were hers, they couldn't be anyone else's. A trail of blood accompanied them, one foot dragging more than the other. Alastor tried to keep his head clear, his mind cool. He gave chase.

The back yard to the warehouse was large, gave the impression of going right off into the woods. Alastor soon realized that was not the case as the rusted, wrought iron fence came in to view. Y/n wouldn't have been able to see it. Judging by the way the tracks were iced over, it had been a long time since she had walked this path. In the dead of night, surrounded by trees, the fence would have come as a surprise.

As he got closer, the lump that he had assumed was a fallen branch came into more detail. Alastor's heart stopped, he rushed to her.

If only he hadn't waited, if only the minute he had felt she'd been gone too long he had gone after her. He might have been able to save her, to stop her from this cruel fate.

What had happened was obvious. The fence was iced over, slippery to the touch. Y/n had evidently tried to climb over it and lost her grip, the force of her fall being enough to ram the sharpened edge of one of the fence's defensive points right through her temple. Wrong place, wrong time.

Alastor had never cried like that before, as he sat in the snow at her feet, her body stiff from the cold. Not even when his mother had died could he ever remember feeling such a grief. It ate away at him, pooling in the center of his chest and spreading out. She had been so integral to who he was, so much a part of his life and way of being. She had been his dream, his end goal. Alastor remembered the ring, sitting heavy in the drawer of his night table. His tears redoubled.

By the time he managed to calm himself, the early winter sun had long since sunk to its bed and been replaced by the moon. Moving completely on autopilot, not considering his actions, Alastor wrenched her body from the fence. Y/n deserved a proper burial, in a place that mattered. He made her final resting place at the base of the very same tree she had told him she loved him while sitting at. His fingers traced their carved initials, grown hard with the years. There was nothing to be done.

The guilt ate away at him, festered over the years. If only he had stopped her, had gone with her, had come to her rescue. If only he had told her that he loved her one last time.

When Y/n awoke in Hell, to say she was surprised would be an understatement. She had never been one to believe in the afterlife in any sort of way, let alone such a wonderful one with so many opportunities for mayhem.

The thing that had been the toughest to get used to was her new form. All the demons in Hell got them upon arrival and when she caught that first glimpse of herself in the glass of a shop window, she understood why everyone on the streets seemed to be eyeing her fearfully.

She looked like she was rotting, her fingertips and toes black from the cold she had lost herself in. It trailed up her limbs, mingling with her own natural skin color. Her hair, her eye lashes, her eyebrows even, looked perpetually frosted with snow, little particles of ice hanging delicately in them. Then there were the horns and the tail, those were by far the strangest. The horns were pure white and curving like a mountain goats, the tail was thin with a little heart shaped ball of fluff at the end. It wasn't until another demon attempted to attack her that she realized the full extent of the changes that had taken place.

Y/n had just tried to punch the man, that was all. He had made advances, she had said no. He had tried again and she had told him she was married. It wasn't entirely a lie, they had been planning on it after all. Still, the man refused to listen and so, she had resorted to brute strength. When she had pulled her fist away, it was to find the man encased in ice. That was when the anger had set in.

Y/n didn't blame Alastor, not really. She was mad at him but, in the end, he had been right. She had died. It was all so brutally unfair. The way they had left things, that final fight, weighed on her soul. She wondered if he even knew she was dead, if he just assumed she had up and left him. The guilt, the what if's of it all, were crushing.

The stronger Y/n's emotions, the more uncontrollable her power. She still attacked people for fun but, taking over half of Pentagram City with her storms had honestly been an accident. In retrospect, she would call it a happy one.

Y/n liked being respected, being feared. She liked the near worship with which the smaller, weaker demons began to treat her. She settled into her new life with surprising ease and soon, every demon and hellborn in the place knew her name: Frost.

Y/n would've liked something different, preferred something cooler but, when the people give someone a name, its hard to change it and so, she embraced the title. Stone cold, cruel, powerful and appearing at what others perceived as totally inopportune moments. She locked herself, her heart, away. She swore never to make the same mistakes again.

Alastor visited Y/n's grave at least once every year. Always on the anniversary of her death, sometimes more frequently. That was where he too had met his death. As he had stooped low to place the bouquet of flowers he had brought on the surface of the hard-packed earth, the hunter had shot him, thinking he was a deer.

His arrival in Hell had been uneventful and not all together shocking. Alastor had been raised in a Christian household and although he never truly had faith in the matter once he had been old enough to form his own opinions, he had still always assumed that if there was life after death he was going to end up in Hell. He also knew that if he had ended up down here, Y/n had too.

The search was all consuming and fruitless. Every demon he interrogated, every one he thought had the slightest spark of his love within them, never had a single clue what he was talking about. Half the city was a snow storm and before long, that half was the only part he hadn't searched. Allegedly it was the territory of some new overlord known only as Frost who had taken Hell by storm - literally - just a few years before. Alastor already had a distaste in his mouth for the overlords, a sort of hatred spawned from something close to envy. He figured that worst case scenario, he could just add this Frost character to the list over overlords he had already taken out in the year since his arrival.

The chill of the air as he stepped over the border was a cruel reminder of the truth of his life. Alastor welcomed the cold with open arms, wondered if Y/n had already been killed since arriving in Hell. He had heard of the exterminations, it wasn't too wild of an idea. The thought gnawed on his mind like a parasite, intent on seeing him dead. Alastor progressed.

The fact that in death he still felt such things as hunger had been a mystery to him. There was something poetic about it, something forlorn in the idea that hunger and touch were the only things that followed a person to their grave. He stepped into the restaurant, his stomach growling, and walked up to the bar.

"Do you have beignets?"

Alastor knew the answer before the barkeep even shook his head. He sighed, falling on to one of the stools.

"Sausage and grits."

"Coming right up."

Alastor tapped his fingers on the counter, watching the world around him. Hope was running thin, anxieties and hurt taking over. He didn't know how much longer he could keep this up, how much more disappointment he could take.

"Haven't seen you around before, Darling," a voice purred from behind him, sending shockwaves of pain through his chest, "new in town?"

He summoned his microphone into his hand, ready to fight. It didn't matter that the demon most likely had no idea the effect of their words, the connections they had to his own past life. All that mattered was that he felt like he was being mocked, the world was parroting his life back to him because Y/n was out of his reach and probably would be forever more. He turned to face the person, a sickening grin spread tight across his face.

The demon had a clearing around her, the crowd avoiding her at all costs and whispering to one another behind the cover of their hands. Her tail flicked back and forth, ice emanating from the place her feet hit the floor.

There was something oddly familiar about her, the cocky smirk, the confidence. Alastor got to his feet. He leered over her and the woman didn't flinch one bit.

"Who's asking?"

A threat. The smile on the smaller demon's face grew, snow beginning to pile up on the floor in the corners of the room.

"You know, it's really far too cruel of you to go around with a voice like that." she hummed thoughtfully, a finger to her chin, "Gets a girl's hopes up just to shatter 'em on the floor."

Alastor could feel it now, the cold nipping at his extremities. Wind picked up in the indoor space and demons began rushing out through the door as quickly as they could. Alastor stood his ground.

"Ah, so you're the one responsible for this little snow town?"

"Why yes, I am."

"You're rather cruel yourself, you know." he mused, "Using my own words against me, how did you know? Do you overlords have some way to read a person's mind? Find the center of their desire and turn it to a weapon?"

Only now did the woman's expression change. Her calm facade morphed into confusion as the winds died down.

"What do you mean?"

"'Haven't seen you around here before, Darling, new in town?'" Alastor scoffed.

Y/n's eyes widened with a sudden recognition. It only fueled Alastor's anger as he took a step forward, shadows rising from the ground at his feet.

"I-"

"Just moved in, actually." the demon cut him off, holding a hand out for him to take, palm to the floor.

Alastor looked at her, disgust etched into his features.

"How could you..." he trailed off.

Eyes flicking over her form, Alastor examined the demoness carefully. Sure, she was different. She looked half dead, frost bitten to the extreme but, there was certainly something familar.

"Who are..."

His eyes narrowed with suspicion. Slowly, he took her hand in his. It was icy to the touch, sent shivers down his spine. With a practiced grace, he leaned down and planted a feathery kiss on the back of her hand.

"Ah, a charmer." Y/n smiled as he raised his head to hers again, "I'll have to be careful around you."

"Y/n."

It wasn't a question, he knew the answer. Alastor could feel it in his bones.

"Alastor."

She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Alastor watched her movements in astonishment. Disbelief laid thick on his body, too heavy to allow him to move.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered into his ear, her breath a cold breeze.

"I... why are you sorry?" he asked, pulling her away from him.

Alastor placed his hands on her shoulders, brushing off a bit of snow that had landed there with utmost care.

"I'm the one who's sorry. I should have come with you, I shouldn't have said the things I said, I sh-"

"I love you."

She couldn't hold the words in anymore. Icicles of tears tinkled like glass as they fell from her cheeks and landed on the floor.

"I... I love you, Alastor. I can't... I always regretted... I..."

"Me too."

He pulled her back into his arms, this time holding her body tightly to his. The cold burned but he didn't care. The whistling of the wind outside seemed to quiet.

"I love you so much, Y/n. I am so sorry."

"I'm so sorry."

Y/n pulled back, cupping Alastor's face in her hands.

"Never again."

"Never what, my love."

"Never again will I be parted from you."

"I thought I'd never see you again." Alastor admitted, "I was beginning to lose hope."

"Me too, me too."

"Never again."

----

Next Part -> Day Lilies (Alastor x Blizzard demon!Reader x Angel!OC)

A/N I am such a little slut for a good reunion scene.

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moonlight-sonata99 · 11 months

Text

Walk the line

Trigger warnings: domestic fights,talk about addiction, suicide mentions. Loss. Alot of cussing.

No.1

Mikey

Carmy Berzatto x reader

A/n: I love carmy bro - but yea, this is uh..a passion project, honestly. I haven't wrote in a hot minute. But..I feel confident. Btw. This story will focus alot on addiction, not the Reader specifically, though. But her dad.

Slow burn/angst/comedy

The sounds of furniture falling and glass breaking behind the door as it Slams open and her face is red and her chest rises up and down quickly as the man behind her on the floor his cheek red from the hit he received from his daughter as his wife stands beside shocked, unable to move the only sound was them getting their stuff and leaving before making their way out the door they looks back and points their finger at the man who's cheeks are red his left a bit bloody

"Dont fucking talk to me unless you've been sober for a year. you hear me?" They breathe out as their mom calls out to them as they turn their back to their parents and rush away. Only leaving the cries of their mother and their father left on the floor as the sound of the ambulance gets closer and closer.

That was a while ago.

Since then, i think i've done well. Maybe. Got a job at some restaurant,the boss is cool. The coolest boss I might have had Honestly. Micheal Berzatto, AKA… Mikey, I've known him about… maybe a few months now? It's been a while since I've been "away" from home, anyways yea. Been working at this cool joint called the beef. Everyone feels like one big friend group. Yeah, it's really nice. I got a nice apartment, too. Well, " nice" is better than any other house that deadbeat ever got us.

Anyways, yeah. I hope you've been well ma. I sent you money with this. Don't try to send it back. And don't let that asshole see you with it.

I'm doing good, So don't worry.

With much love.

"Hey,speaking of assholes, what's the big deal with this brother?" You ask, looking down at the piece of onion you were cutting as mikey cooked behind you.

"Asshole? Ooh you mean my brother carmy? " He replies, keeping his gaze on the meat.

"yeah"

"Well there's a lot to say about him " he breathes out but a smile can obviously be detected in his voice

"Well then tell me about him genius"

"hes not your type " Tina chimes in as the rest laugh,

"Thats not- Okay, maybe that's why i asked. But if you really say so, " you reply, shrugging and putting the knife down and leaving the onions to grilI as - you turned to look at him. But he kept his back to you as he began to speak.

"no yeah- Carm… little brother Carmen. he's a chef in some fancy restaurant, nice right? " He admitted, watching the knife gliding through the meat smoothly.

"for real?" you gasped out looking at his back,

"for fucking real."

Remembering when that had happened. Mikey had a smile on his face when he spoke about his brother. Later on, you learned the two weren't on speaking terms. A part of you cursed yourself out of even having the gall to ask about a slightly sensitive topic, but another part of yourself felt...good to know at least he didn't hate his brother, Who'd want to hate their own siblings?

You knew better than to intervene.

It was february 21st, as you gathered your sweater, in the corner of your eye, you noticed Michael sitting in his office looking at a small white envelope.

"Hey, mikey," you guy, as you knocked lightly before entering his office, and he looked up his eyes, meeting yours.

" hey- " he coughed " hey whats up? " he said, rubbing his nose with the tips of his fingers.

" I should be asking you that '' you reply, putting on your bag.' You okay ? You've been… out of it these past few days. '' You say, tilting your head slightly.

"Im good" he mumbles out his hand over his mouth as he nods.

" Okay … if you ever need anything, just call me. Okay?"

" Gotcha," he says as you nod and make your way outside.

"hey uh be careful " he yells out as you heal out the door and the leans against his office door frame as you turn your head back to look at him.

" Yeah you too mikey"

Hey ma, me again. It's been a hot minute since I sent you a message. in terms of like… talking. i just wanted to check up on you. Make sure everything is okay, y'know? i'll be honest. I haven't been doing so well. if were being honest… I lost a friend. a good friend. Mikey, he Uh… Comitted suicide. and i don't know how to feel. Well,I feel sad. I spent… all week crying.

Yea i have brothers, but Mikey felt like the brother I never had.

due to moving so much as a kid, i didn't have any friends.

no girlfriends, boyfriends.

i didn't want any if i'm honest.

but Mikey changed that.In terms of friendship I mean.

i remember when i first met him, i was about to blow him off because he was pestering me about his restaurant. i mean, i was working for Petes sake. But he was loud,

and i gave in.

after that he let me into his family, albeit made of people working in a restaurant.

you know that thing when Companies say their employees are family and it's usually bullshit??

Yea,Mikey always meant that shit.

Ritchie told me his brothers were coming to take over. I'm not sure how to feel about it . The asshole didn't even come his funeral. Anyway, yeah, that what has been up with me. Sorry for suddenly dumping all of this on you.

i lost a good friend.

A/n: I really like writing for this series, honestly. Please tell me if you guys want more :]

#the bear #the bear x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #carmy x reader #carmy x you

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oceanwithouthermoon · 7 months

Text

i dont know how to articulate this correctly but... sometimes i think about how saiki is so mentally disconnected and isolated from other people, and his powers make it feel impossible to understand them, esp because he hasnt had any faith in humanity since he was a kid (hes also so autistic but shh he probably doesnt know yet)

and so he truly doesnt understand the nuances and complexity of love+friendship+relationships etc... so imagine how confused he could get during times where his relationships get deeper/more complicated

examples ?? (warning for very brief sa+abuse+suicidal thoughts mention in the second one) -

accidentally making one of his friends mad and hearing their thoughts, which are purely from frustration and anger in the moment, about hating and not wanting to be around him.. makes him think they genuinely dont want to be as friend at all anymore, so ONE argument makes him think hes ruined his friendship with them forever and he doesnt think to just apologize, immediately shutting down and just "going away" instead because he thinks thats actually what they want

not understanding why people feel sympathy for him when he talks about tragic things in/about his life, especially when he even dulls it down as to not reveal his powers, (ie: his brother literally trying to murder, humiliate, and borderline sa him OR having one or multiple bullying incidents in elementary school that caused him to lose all his friends and change schools OR saying that the only reason he decidedly hasnt offed himself yet is cuz itd make his mom sad) and mentioning those things a little too casually, then thinking people are trying to pity him and telling the people who are just trying to help to shut the fuck up ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

^a specific but not quite as angsty one, offhandedly mentioning once that he had a big crush on a guy from another class but he helped set them up with someone else even though it upset him, because he just wanted to see him happy and he never had a chance anyway (bro was def straight too) and his friends being like ...hey thats really sad im sorry you felt like that :(( and him being like ?? whats sad about that. hes happy, and its not like im completely devastated or anything. shut the fuck up.

teruhashi getting over her crush on him and no longer seeking him out as often, and he's immediately upset and confused because now he thinks that she ONLY cared about him when she thought she was going to get something more than friendship from it so he doesnt believe she ever saw him as a true friend..

(similar to the first one, slightly different situation) getting into an argument with one of the friends he sees every single day and still expecting them to at least BE there the next day, and when they arent because theyre avoiding him, his first thought isnt "i should seek them out and apologize" its "wow it was so easy for them to just let go of me, i clearly have formed a dependency and feel like i need them more than they need me. especially now that i know they dont feel the same, i should sever that attachment."

SO YEAH anyway, he genuinely does not believe that he has anyone he can trust enough to actually talk through this stuff with+doesn't even think its that bad so he just sits and tries to feel numb at the bottom of the ocean or on the moon haha what a guy...

#these r all pretty good fic ideas i think.. hm..#saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post

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abysseung · 2 years

Text

HEART ATTACK ! 💌 VERSION ONE

➸ SYNOPSIS It’s your last year at Sacred-Heart High and what better to start the year with a crush. Wait did I say a crush? Sorry, I meant a bunch of crushes. But hey, at least they like you too.

➸ PAIRING enha 02 line x fem!reader [schoolmate!jake x reader; frenemy!jay x reader; church boy!sunghoon x reader]

➸ GENRE smau, major major major crack, fluff, slight angst if u squint hard enough, high school au, friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, soulmates to lovers??, mutual pining

➸ WARNINGS lots and lots of swearing; sex jokes; suggestive content; mentions of alcohol consumption, kys and kms jokes, smoking, suicide, sex

THIS WORK IS PURE FICTION, ALL THE IDOLS MENTIONED IN THIS DO NOT REFLECT WITH THEIR ACTUAL LIFE AND CAREER.

➸ STATUS COMPLETED (10/28/22 - 11/13/22)

➸ AUTHORS NOTE to whoever is seeing this fanfic, u are one lucky mf. this is actually my first smau (or i guess u could say fanfic) no way. this fic is supposed to be based on my love life experience in highschool cause i want ppl to know what i went through. please note that im trying to base this in the korean school system so if there’s anything wrong, please ignore :)

☆ playlist — «i'll give you everything, take my heart»

PLEASE DO NOT SPAM LIKE :) SPAM REBLOGS = OK! ; SPAM LIKE = BLOCK!

➸ PROFILES yn and her crush supporters bitchless losers too good boys unholy brothers extras

00 — back to school antics (prologue)

01 — jay’s deskmate??? (written + smau)

02 — yn’s kdrama life

03 — L word

04 — matching sonic pfps

05 — are u guys dating?

06 — not so first date (written + smau)

07 — heartbroken

08 — happy national boyfriend day

08 (1)— jisung and jisung bromance

08 (2) — beomgyu’s love letter

08 (3)— jiung’s discord kitten

08 (4) — chanhee gets a gf (real)

09 — mr closet man (written + smau)

10 — THE HANDS

10 (1) — arm wrestling match

10 (2) — hand slapping game

11 — wake up and break up

12 — panda keychain

13 — rip homeroom server

14 — caption (the chapter disappeared 😭)

15 — emo’s fave colour

16 — confession

17 — yn the wingwoman

18 — cousin reunion

18 (1) — fortnite buddies unite

19 — confession pt.2

20 — who do u like? (written + smau)

21 — who do i like?

22 — confession pt.3

23 — mr soulmate

24 — opposites attract (written + smau)

25 — bf material (written + smau) | alternative vers

26 — real love (written + smau)

27 — unlocked locker

28 — unlucky day

28 (1) — yunjin’s beomgyu’s yunjin’s nametag

28 (2) — kid pics

28 (3) — farewell ningning

28 (4) — jeongin is back

29 — to my lovers

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING

JAKE — JAY — SUNGHOON

31 — #jirina4life (after jay’s epilogue)

32 — THERES FOUR OTHER??? (after chapter 21)

33 — ur pfp looks like my bf (after sunghoon’s epilogue)

enhypen masterlist

725 notes · View notes

sickficideas · 16 days

Note

may i propose the idea of dazai crying until he throws up but Actually. do what u will with this information😭

hello anon, i greet you 11 months later...i am so sorry....and I have no idea if this was even a fic request or just a Hey. This Concept is Cool. and you're right so I wanted to write a fic about it and it took me 11 months. so. here you go Im so sorry LOL

just get up, get up || kunikidazai sickfic

ao3! 5.2k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! this one is a little heavy (past suicide attempt references, death mentions)

Kunikida is standing outside of Dazai's apartment, originally with a bone to pick with him for not showing up to the company dinner, but he’s long forgotten that. He's far too focused on the fact that he hears Dazai crying through the front door.

Dazai doesn’t cry.

Kunikida has the key to his apartment, as a precaution. He’s had it since the first time Dazai seriously attempted to kill himself, swallowing nearly forty pills from something he stole from Kunikida’s bathroom, that being the only reason Kunikida found him in time. He’s told Dazai he won’t disrespect his privacy unless he thought he had good reason to, and he thinks he has a good reason to do just that right here. He fumbles with his keys to find the one labeled Dazai.

Because Dazai does not cry for no reason.

He barges in, closing the door behind him but not bothering to even lock it properly before he runs to Dazai’s bedroom, where the sobs are coming from. Kunikida’s praying in his head on repeat that he isn’t in a life-threatening situation because that’s not a farfetched idea here, but he doesn’t quite get that feeling here.

Dazai is curled up in the corner of his nearly barren bedroom with the lights off, on his side, on the floor. Kunikida doesn’t see any signs of a suicide attempt, but that doesn’t mean much - just because he doesn’t see a noose or a pill bottle doesn’t mean he’s fine, and clearly, he’s not.

Kunikida can count at least five empty bottles of various types of alcohol on the floor.

“Dazai,” Kunikida starts, but he doesn’t detect any reaction from him, he’s just choking on sobs and sounding nearly unable to breathe, and Kunikida is contemplating calling Yosano. But he can’t do that. Dazai won't do any better with a doctor here, even one he’s familiar with.

Kunikida, for once, can't think of anything to help.

He's seen Dazai drunk before, but he doesn't think that's what's going on. Something else is causing this.

Kunikida kneels down in front of him, laying a hand over Dazai’s arm, covering his face for the most part. The bandages on his arms have long come loose, which tells him just how far off his mental state is right now.

Dazai’s face is red and his eyes are shot, a fact that Kunikida is only able to tell because of how Dazai looks up at him, brow furrowed and almost somehow begging Kunikida to make it stop. What exactly that is, he doesn’t know, but he can’t stand seeing Dazai like this. He needs to do something.

"Did you take something?" Kunikida asks as Dazai’s eyes drift away from him again. Kunikida’s forcing eye contact with a death grip on his arm. "Medications? Drugs?"

Dazai shakes his head just barely, and for some reason, Kunikida feels inclined to believe him. Kunikida is shocked Dazai is even listening to what he’s saying.

"Were you drinking?" Kunikida asks, even though the answer is obvious. Dazai barely nods before pulling his arm back over his face, trying to make himself smaller in some feeble attempt to tell Kunikida to leave, but he won’t even consider it.

"Are you hurt?" he asks, but Dazai doesn't answer. He cries out like he's in pain and his body twists, eyes screwed shut. Kunikida panics, he presses against Dazai's shoulder to lay him flat on the floor and check him over for injuries, but he sees nothing. No blood, no rips in his clothing, nothing. Dazai's eyes have relaxed, but they're still flooded with tears.

“Dazai,” Kunikida starts, not even sure what to follow up with. He feels dizzy. What does he even do here? He needs a plan. He needs to figure out how to help Dazai at least feel better enough temporarily so he's not choking on his sobs. “Let's get you to bed, come on.”

Kunikida scoops a hand under the shoulder that's against the ground to encourage Dazai to get off of the floor, at least, hoping that he can walk himself. Dazai's not crying as hard right now but it almost sounds like there's something else keeping his focus. He manages to get himself together enough to prop himself up, but Kunikida realizes too late that he looks nauseous all of a sudden, and the gag confirms his suspicion. The choking he was hearing were probably half-gags to begin with.

Dazai leans forward and chokes up a torrent of pale, watery vomit, just barely missing Kunikida's knee, but he's not to lucky the second time he gags, most of it splattering up the side of his thigh.

In any other circumstance, Kunikida would have certainly shouted at him. For drinking so much, for not being able to control himself, but he can't even bring himself to say anything, much less reprimand him. All he can do is make sure Dazai doesn't fall face forward in his own vomit.

His seemingly endless tears join in the vomit and drool that drips from his chin as he breathes heavily over the puddle, not able to keep himself up anymore. Kunikida doesn't want him to lay back down anymore -if he's not down throwing up, the last thing he needs is to choke on his own vomit, so he tries to at least prop him up.

He isn't finished, so it was a good call. He manages to avoid Kunikida this time, gagging and spitting up more of his stomach contents to add to this existing puddle, a hand pressed against his tummy.

He hasn't calmed down at all. His eyes look wild, as if throwing up has just made him feel a hundred times worse. Another thing that Kunikida can't do much about. He's so helpless, sitting right in front of him and watching him cry his eyes out without any idea what's going on.

Kunikida leans forward and holds him close, both arms wrapped around him in some kind of attempt to ground him.

“Dammit, Dazai,” Kunikida murmurs quietly. He’s completely and utterly heartbroken. Dazai was just suffering here. He wasn’t trying to end his life. He wasn’t hurting himself. He wasn’t even on anything, he just drank his sorrows away and sobbed for what must have been hours before Kunikida got here. “I'm going to stay with you tonight. Okay?”

He feels Dazai nod against his shoulder. That's a good sign, but he still shakes and sobs against him, like he wants to curl up and disappear in his arms.

That's fine with him, if the feeling helps. Kunikida will hold him as long as he needs him to.

He can't tell how long it's been once Dazai starts to breathe normally, but Kunikida takes the opportunity. He manages to move him over to his bed and under his covers. Dazai's eyes have glazed over. His lashes are still wet but he doesn't seem to be crying much more right now, and he's hoping he will at least be able to sleep for a few hours.

Kunikida tries to straighten things up, per his nature. He picks up all of the empty alcohol bottles and trash that litter his bedroom floor and brings them to the kitchen. He brings a trash bin beside Dazai's bed in case he needs to vomit again soon before he cleans the puddle in the corner. He feels nauseous himself, but he certainly won't make Dazai do the job right now. He wipes up the now-dried bits of vomit on his pants, and grabs another rag for Dazai's face.

He's almost asleep, finally. Kunikida wipes up his mouth and his chin. His face is warm, he lays a hand against his cheek to feel it. He's not worried about a fever, thinking it's probably just how much Dazai has worked himself up.

“I wish you would've called someone,” Kunikida says quietly.

He's glad he got to him before it got worse, at least.

…

The next morning, Kunikida opens the screen door to Dazai's porch. He should have done that last night. The entire dorm room reeks of alcohol and vomit, something he's only realizing with a taste of fresh air.

The rest of the night was easier than it could have been. Dazai somehow managed to sneak past Kunikida at some point, who had fallen asleep on the floor next to his bed, to puke in the bathroom for a few minutes. He would've fallen asleep there if Kunikida hadn't noticed and put him back to bed.

He groans, trying to stretch out the aches in his muscles from sleeping on the floor.

There's not a long list of people he would do that for.

When he wanders back into Dazai's bedroom, he sees him watching. On his side, head halfway engulfed by his pillow and looking at least seventy-five percent asleep, but he's awake.

"Hey," Kunikida says quietly.

"Hi,” Dazai croaks. The first coherent word he's spoken.

“I'll be right back. Just going to my dorm room for a moment,” Kunikida tells him. Dazai only nods. He wonders if maybe he shouldn't leave him alone, but it doesn't look as if Dazai has any energy at all to do something he shouldn't. “Do you need anything?”

He shakes his head, and lets his eyes fall shut. Kunikida feels relieved.

Thank god they have today off, too.

He disappears into his dorm for no longer than ten minutes to change clothes and do his morning routine - brush his teeth, wash his face. He thinks about showering but decides to put that off, not wanting to leave Dazai alone for longer than he needs to. He thinks Dazai would certainly benefit from a shower, too.

He makes it back soon enough to Dazai's bed room. The air feels much more fresh now, which will certainly do Dazai some good. He's turned around, now, the glass of water Kunikida had places beside him on the other side, but still full. Like he had tried to drink some, but decided not to. Kunikida wouldn't be surprised at all if he was still nauseous.

He needs to make him something to eat. Rice or soup would do him some good. Nauseous or not, he needs some substance in his stomach or else throwing up will be much more painful, and leave him feeling much worse - especially when he's pumped full of alcohol.

He turns to walk back into the kitchen, but Dazai's hoarse voice stops him before he can go any further.

"Sorry about last night. Kunikida," Dazai mumbles, his back still turned to him.

Kunikida doesn't think he's ever heard him sound that sincere about an apology before. It's genuine but dripping with guild all the same. It feels strange to hear. He almost wants to joke back.

"It's alright," Kunikida tells him, deciding now is not the time to be having any sort of conversation about it. He'll talk later, right now he just wants Dazai to feel normal. "I'll make you some food. You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry, ‘s okay,” Dazai replies quietly. He’s lowered his voice, like it hurts to keep it over a certain volume. Kunikida watched him shift like he wanted to move, but ultimately decide to sink back down.

"You still need to eat, Dazai. You threw up at least six times last night,” he says with a little sigh. “Just a little so that there's something in your stomach. It doesn't need to be right this second.”

Dazai has two packets of instant rice if he remembers correctly, and nothing else. Kunikida decides he'll go get groceries for him tomorrow. He's pretty certain those packets are left over from the last time he got groceries for him, too.

“I’ll eat later,” Dazai agrees begrudgingly, which Kunikida thinks is certainly better than the response he was expecting. “What’s the time?”

Finally, he turns so that he’s on his back. He tilts his head in Kunikida’s directly. He looks like he’s nearly on his deathbed - he’s so pale and looks exhausted.

“It’s almost nine in the morning,” Kunikida tells him.

“It feels like it’s five AM,” Dazai grumbles.

“Do you want to shower?” Kunikida asks. He’s trying to think of ways to get him out of bed. He doesn’t think wasting away in his dark room is any good for him, and he thinks a shower would certainly help him feel better.

“No,” he grumbles, glaring at Kunikida.

“Well, you should,” Kunikida says, leaning against the door frame.

Dazai groans like a child, turning away so his back faces Kunikida once again. This reaction, he should have expected.

“I'll help you,” Kunikida offers.

“Can it be a bath instead?” Dazai mumbles. Kunikida can hear the pout on his lips.

“Whatever will get you smelling better than a bar,” Kunikida says. He doesn’t care either way. “I’ll start it now, then. I’d really like if you had some water, I don’t need to you pass out on me.”

Dazai makes a vague noise in acknowledgment, but the way he pulls the sheets over his head tells him that he’s going to take advantage of his bed before he makes any plans to drink water.

Thankfully, Dazai doesn’t make the rest of it difficult for him. He doesn’t even argue about the bandages anymore.

Kunikida massages a second round of shampoo into his hair, with Dazai underwater from the shoulders down, quiet for the most part. The water is the perfect temperature and it’s certainly doing him some good, some color has started to come back to his face. He’s a little more quiet than Kunikida is comfortable with, though.

“Anything you usually do on Sundays?” Kunikida asks him, leaning Dazai’s head back just a bit before taking the pitcher of water to rinse the shampoo out.

"I usually…" Dazai mumbles, pausing like he’s not sure he wants to share. He keeps his eyes shut as Kunikida continues to rinse out the shampoo. "I go visit a friend."

"A friend?" Kunikida asks. He thinks most of the shampoo is out. There’s a bottle of conditioner that Kunikida put in here years ago that Dazai clearly never uses - he decides he’s going to do it now, while he has him here.

"Yeah," Dazai nods. He pauses again as Kunikida words the conditioner into his hair, but the silence must have encouraged him to say what’s on his mind. "Do you…can you come?"

Kunikida's surprised at this.

"I don’t have any plans today,” Kunikida says. Not entirely true. He has a Sunday routine, but he can make sure he gets to that in the evening, and just stay with Dazai this morning. “Does he live here? In Yokohama?”

“At the cemetery. By the Port.”

Kunikida almost replies, wondering which neighborhood that is exactly, but his stomach drops once he realizes what Dazai is saying.

Oh.

He's visiting a grave.

Somehow, all of this makes sense, now.

…

Kunikida lets Dazai take his time. Of course, he’s not going to rush him out of the dorm room to go see his friend’s headstone, but he’s moving much slower than normal this morning anyway. Kunikida dries his hair and gives him a change of clothes as he cooks some rice for him to eat, even if it’s only a few bites. He argues, hopes he’ll win, but Kunikida manages to get him to eat at least half of it.

“You go here every Sunday?” Kunikida asks him as they approach the cemetery, now within their sight. Dazai’s been relatively normal on the trip there. It was only a stop away on the train station and a few blocks of walking, but still, he seems much more like himself, he’s realizing now, though, that he was simply trying to distract himself.

“Every Sunday,” he confirms, the tone of his voice now changed. He sounds far away, living some past memory, but his voice holds the same texture of when he was trying his eyes out last night. Kunikida chews his lip.

He’s not sure how he never noticed this tradition of his, either, unless this death was recent. Dazai’s never around on Sundays but he’s never clear about his plans either. He’ll say anything from he’s getting a coffee to he’s planning on overthrowing the government, if he threw in a I’m visiting my dead friend, Kunikida would have thought nothing of it.

Atsushi’s mentioned finding him at a cemetery before, once, when Dazai failed to show up to an emergency meeting. But even then, Kunikida never thought he was there to visit someone.

Dazai slows down as they make it to the entrance, and Kunikida makes it further ahead of him before he realizes he’s stopped. He’s turned away from the direction of the sea, almost looking like he’s holding his breath. Kunikida decides if he should ask him if they should turn around before Dazai brings a hand up to his mouth.

"Dazai, are you - " Kunikida starts, but Dazai is already bent over with a hand on his stomach, throwing up onto the sidewalk before Kunikida can finish his question. “Shit.”

Kunikida curses, laying a hand on Dazai's back. Dazai probably assumed the rice would come right back up anyway, that’s no doubt why he was refusing to eat, but Kunikida wonders if it has something to do with the nerves of where they are right now. But certainly, he wouldn’t react like this every Sunday?

“I’m fine,” Dazai breathes out, spitting up the rest of what’s in his mouth into the small puddle at his feet. It’s not much, but he didn’t have near anything in his stomach to begin with. He looks even worse, now. Kunikida wants him to sit down and drink some damn water.

Kunikida keeps his hand on Dazai’s back as he straightens up and tries to take in a steady breath. Kunikida is almost certain he’s going to throw up again, but he manages to pull himself together enough to continue on to the cemetery gates.

Dazai snakes his hand into Kunikida’s and squeezes it, hard. Kunikida squeezes it back as Dazai leads him to a gravestone, right underneath the tree on the far side of the cemetery.

S. Oda.

Reading the same sends a chill up his spine and he can’t explain why. Kunikida's never heard Dazai mention this person before, not even unnamed. A friend. Dazai doesn't seem like the type to have friends at all, not outside of work.

Whoever he was, he must have been very important to Dazai, to affect him like this.

And the longer Kunikida stands there beside Dazai and stares, the faster he starts to realize that the date of death on the headstone was yesterday's date.

"You should've said something," Kunikida sighs quietly as Dazai slips his hand out of Kunikida’s grip.

"I have a friend who I've never told you about who died in my arms four years ago yesterday. There," Dazai says. It's incredibly nonchalant, something he's trying to pass off as a joke, but Kunikida can hear the pain in his voice. He can feel it.

It must have been an awful death, to break down Dazai like that.

Dazai kneels right in front of the headstone and lays his forehead against the cold marble. He chokes back a sob, evidently, completely incapable of holding himself together. It hurts him so much. He can’t fathom what could have happened. Dazai’s completely broken by this.

Kunikida can't just sit there and watch. He kneels beside him, a little further back. He wants to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he hesitates, and takes his hand again to squeeze it hard instead.

“I'm sorry,” Dazai mumbles quietly, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his hand. “I think…he would've loved working at the Agency.”

“You think so?” Kunikida asks. Four years ago would have been someone in the Port Mafia with Dazai, Kunikida is fairly certain.

“He would've…he would've deserved it more than I do, Kunikida,” Dazai tells him, a few teardrops landing in the earth right in front of the headstone. He’s getting that look in his eyes again, like he’s somewhere else.

Kunikida bites his lip. “Don't say things like that, Dazai.”

“Maybe…maybe if he found him instead of me, then…then they both would've…” Dazai murmurs, and Kunikida starts to worry, because he's not making much sense. He’s not sure who he’s talking about. “but then Atsushi…what about…”

“Hey,” Kunikida starts, squeezing his hand a little tighter, “I don't know what happened to your friend, but no matter how things ended for him, there's nothing you can do to change the past.”

Dazai’s shoulders tense up. Kunikida worries he's having the opposite of the desired effect, but there’s nothing he can do to guess what Dazai could possibly be thinking.

Dazai lifts his head off of the stone, a little too quickly, it seems, because his whole body slumps forward and he smacks his forehead into it before Kunikida can stop him. He holds his shoulders to move him off the stone and he seems to have come back to him already. Kunikida steadies him and makes sure he gets a good look at his face. He still looks dizzy. "You're dehydrated."

"Mm," Dazai huffs. He doesn't seem to care. He rubs the part of his forehead that smacked against the stone and groans.

"Let's take you to Yosano,” Kunikida insists, taking Dazai’s hand and helping him off the ground. He’s really concerned. All of this is very out of the ordinary for him. He wants to take him somewhere he can rest for a few hours, at least.

"I'm okay, Kunikida,” Dazai mumbles, his eyes still pointed down at the headstone. He’s not crying anymore, but he's certainly not all there.

"Like hell you are, Dazai," he huffs, reaching out to lay a hand under his chin and point his face up to look at Kunikida. He looks like a sad, wet cat. "She could get some fluids in you, at least."

"I don't like needles," he murmurs. His eyes drop back down to the ground.

“I know you don’t, but you just fainted because you’re so dehydrated. And I don’t think you have any interest in drinking water right now,” Kunikida says with a deep sigh. Dazai doesn’t argue, but he leans forward to lay his forehead on Kunikida’s shoulder.

Kunikida holds him, one arm around his back and the other on his head, for as long as Dazai needs him to. He knows a lot of what Dazai shows him on a regular basis is a front, a disguise, he’s learned that after many years of working with him - but to see it completely torn down like this breaks his heart.

After a while, Kunikida leads him out of the cemetery. Dazai doesn’t object. He keeps his arm around Kunikida, his eyes on the ground in front of him, not lifting his head. Kunikida lets him. He plans to walk the two of them to the Agency, which isn��t more than a fifteen-minute walk. He knows Yosano is there today, even though it’s closed - it’s when she catches up. He can at least have her look him over.

The Motomachi shopping structure starts to come into view as Dazai starts to lift his head a little and slip his arm out of Kunikida’s. There’s more people around here now, and he can already see Dazai start to mask on, even around people he doesn’t know, people he’ll never meet.

Kunikida feels Dazai’s hand slip out of his grip, and he worries for a moment before he hears a voice coming from behind them.

"Dazai? Kunikida?"

It's Atsushi, Kunikida realizes upon turning around.

"What're you guys doing here?" Atsushi asks. He’s by himself, it looks like.

"Work," Kunikida answers simply, trying to avoid any tough conversation for Dazai. He doesn’t think Atsushi will ask any questions beyond that. "And you? Are you by yourself?"

"Kyoka's in the bakery over there. But I saw you guys from the window and wanted to say hi," Atsushi says, but the smile on his face fades as soon as his eyes peer over to Dazai, who, no matter how much he's trying to fake it, still looks miserable. "Are…you okay, Dazai?"

"Oh, I'm fine. You know. Hungover," he jokes, but he still doesn’t sound like himself, no matter how hard he’s trying. Kunikida supposes the hangover bit might be partially true.

"You really should stop drinking so much," Atsushi scolds. Kunikida mirrors that sentiment, mentally, but he thinks Dazai probably has a much bigger problem than they can address with scolding.

"Mmm…maybe you're right," Dazai says, but it's impossible to tell if he's going to take that to heart or not. Kunikida is going to guess, likely not.

"Me and Kyoka were going to try out this new tea house. It’s like, a block over," Atsushi tells them, gesturing in the general direction. "Would you guys wanna come?"

"Hm. We're pretty busy with work," Kunikida lies, but he's trying to give Dazai an out in case he needs one. "Dazai?"

"We should go. Tea's good," he says simply with a shy-looking smile.

Kunikida's heart melts. Atsushi looks a little suspicious. Certainly, Kunikida would never let Dazai decide if they were going to work or not. Maybe he’s not covering their tracks as good as he thinks they are.

"Alright. We'll come."

"Why are you guys working, anyway? We're closed today," Atsushi says, turning around and leading them towards the bakery down the street, where Kyoka is, presumably.

“Just something the president asked us to take on,” Kunikida explains. “Classified, though.”

“Uh-huh…”

He’s not buying it, but he doesn’t press on. Kunikida’s relieved.

Once they meet Kyoka, the tea house isn’t far at all, and in the direction of the Agency anyway. Kunikida still plans to take Dazai to Yosano afterwards, but he thinks this is a good idea. Tea would definitely do him some good, if he’s willing to drink it.

He doesn’t last long at all, though. He only takes a few sips of what Kunikida had ordered, claiming he would decide from there, before he sneaks off to the bathroom. Kunikida say the nausea on his face, though, that green tinge, his hand over his stomach. He can’t keep anything down right now. He really needs to see Yosano.

“Do you think he’s sick, Kunikida?” Atsushi asks, concern written all over his face. He knows something’s going on.

“He might be. I need Yosano to take a look at him,” he says with a shaky sigh, already having finished sending her a text that they would be on their way over very soon. He’ll flag down a taxi to get them there. It’s not far, but he doesn’t think Dazai should be doing any more activity than he needs to.

When Dazai comes back, looking even worse than before with three concerned faces staring at him, his shoulders sink. Kunikida thinks that he can’t possibly believe he wouldn’t get caught.

“I’ll meet you guys there after we pay,” Atsushi tells them, and Kunikida thanks him. He’ll send him money to cover the bill later. He takes Dazai by the arm and leads him outside. He’s hoping he can get him feeling a little better soon.

…

Atsushi gets to the agency about an hour later, so worried about Dazai that his stomach hurts because of it. Something’s not right, he could tell that as soon as he saw the two of them in the street. Sure, he’s certainly sick with something, but he’s too quiet. He looks sad. That’s just not something he ever sees on Dazai’s face.

He makes it up to the Agency floor. Kyoka decided to go back to the dorms, so it’s just him, and no one but Yosano, Kunikida or Dazai should be in the office. The door to the infirmary is open, but he hears something coming from the office couch.

Dazai sounds like he's gagging again.

He carefully wanders over, not seeing any sign of Yosano behind the partition, it’s just Kunikida and Dazai - he’s curled up on the couch, his arm attached to a fluid line. Kunikida is in the middle of laying a blanket over him and holding a trash bin under his chin. Atsushi wonders why Dazai isn’t in the infirmary instead, but he does like this couch. Maybe he’s just more comfortable here.

Atsushi knows something must be wrong with him if Kunikida of all people is being so kind and gentle with him. Laying a blanket over him just can't be something he'd do for no reason.

Dazai spits up something into the bin before Kunikida lowers the bin. He groans and curls up in on himself again. He doesn't look good at all. Atsushi isn't sure if he's sick or not, but even if he is, it's concerning.

"He's having a hard time today, Atsushi. Don’t bother him too much," Kunikida says sternly, quietly, before he disappears into he infirmary. He hears him and Yosano faintly chattering about something, but the sound is lost on him as he focuses on Dazai’s miserable form.

Atsushi sits on the couch opposite of Dazai for a minute, watching him. Dazai knows he’s there, but he doesn’t look up. His eyes are on the floor. His breathing looks off, like it’s a conscious effort every time. He’s pale and he looks terribly nauseous. Atsushi feels guilty. He wouldn’t have offered for them to come if he knew he stomach was bothering him this much.

"Are you okay, Dazai?" he asks meekly, even though he knows the answer. It's a stupid question to ask, really. Dazai’s eyes finally dart up to meet Atsushi’s.

"I'm always okay," he says. The most non-answer possible.

“You don’t look okay,” Atsushi tells him with a little pout. He’s seen Dazai hungover before, it’s never, ever this bad. The worst it does it make him complain and give him a headache.

Dazai sighs quietly. "Just…missing a friend."

"A friend?" Atsushi asks, scooting up a little further. Dazai doesn’t ever talk about friends. "Why don't you go see them?"

"I saw him this morning."

Atsushi’s heart sinks as he puts all of the pieces together. He’s seen Dazai’s friend before, too. He and Kunikida were coming from that direction before Atsushi met them today. “Your friend in the cemetery?”

Dazai nods slowly.

“I'm sorry, Dazai,” Atsushi says quietly. Dazai shifts his body so that he’s lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “He must’ve been really important to you.”

"He's the reason I left the Port Mafia," Dazai says gently. “I wouldn’t…be here without him.”

Atsushi gives him a halfway smile. It’s not often that Dazai ever opens up about anything. Maybe it’s how he’s feeling, maybe he’s just deep enough in his thoughts to let his guard down, but Atsushi’s thankful that he’s shared that with him.

“I’m glad you knew him, then. Even if…even if you wished you knew him longer. He changed your life, right?” Atsushi says. He can’t part much wisdom to Dazai, someone who seems to know everything, but Dazai turns his head to look at Atsushi. It’s a warm expression on his face. Atsushi can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.

“Right, Atsushi.”

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fairycosmos · 3 months

Note

i don't have anyone so a stranger feels better but i think im going to kill myself soon. i don't see myself living anymore. everything is so doom and gloom

hey i'm so sorry to hear this and i get it 100%. i understand that clichéd words of comfort often ring hollow during times like these, so i won't just spout off empty platitudes. honestly i genuinely empathise with what you're going through and i totally recognising that words can't alleviate the overwhelming turmoil you're experiencing. it's so difficult to be in this headspace day after day, and it's completely understandable to feel drained/on the verge of giving up. existence can be exhausting and sometimes that's just all there is to it.

nevertheless, i hope you're able to reconsider eventually. i hope you're able to get to a place where you're able to see that your current mental state may not accurately reflect reality. your mind may be distorting your perceptions and endlessly catastrophising, as is common w suicidal ideation. it's important to realise that the intensity of these emotions is temporary and doesn't inherently define your future. i know that doesn't ring true right now but it is not impossible that it will eventually. while it might sound trite, reaching out to someone—a friend, your gp or a hotline—can offer the support you need not to suddenly and magically get better, but to safely collapse without harming yourself until you feel ready to stand up again. i'm not suggesting it as a simple or easy solution, but rather as a reminder that you don't have to face this alone. you still have options, even if it feels like you're trapped.

whether you need to cry, vent, distract yourself or just rest, it's all valid. take things moment by moment; that's all that's required of you right now. your presence is so so noticed and your safety is so important. If you feel like you're at risk, please prioritise getting to a secure location and reaching out to someone, even if it means overriding the current impulses of your own mind. you're not alone, and there are so many ways to begin confronting these feelings of suicidal ideation head-on without having to hurt yourself to do so - finding the root causes of why you feel this way, building a routine based off of healthier coping mechanisms, verbalising what's going on in your brain - it all helps. your brain is going to register it as bullshit at first, and that's alright. it's not a cure, and i understand that it's tiring to have to keep trying when it's the last thing in the world you want to do. but it'll give you some space between the intensity of your thoughts and your emotions. with time, it'll make it so that you're able to live a full and manageable life alongside the depression. there's no timeline for it, and it's a lifelong project, which i know isn't ideal. i just think you deserve to give yourself some grace and some time. please, take care of yourself and at least consider rethinking what you're saying to me. i care about you and will be here if you need to talk or anything. please visit the resources below if you feel like you're at your wits end and don't know what else to do. even if they're of no help to you right now, maybe you could come back to them some time. sending a big hug. x

international suicide hotlines / coping with suicidal thoughts pdf / creating a crisis plan / suicidal ideation coping skills / suicidal ideation coping skills 2

#anon #tw suicide

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walnutofthedead · 1 year

Note

hey! I hope your day is going well. I was wondering if you could do fuuta and mikoto headcanons (separately) for a reader who isn’t really doing the best mentally at the moment. thank you!

YES!!!! Thank you for the Mikoto ask Im sobbing shitting tears of happiness,,,

It’s not letting me add pics so sorry for formatting

Mental illness under the cut frfr

mikoto

Mikoto, being the perfect sweetheart that he is, notices pretty easily that there's something off. Like, it's a bit weird how quickly he does. Scary man.. his inner emotionally fucked self fr helping him notice.

-probably will take the day off work to be with and support you.

-won't force you to talk, but he'll try his hardest to make you feel comfortable enough to open up to him.

-expect a lot of cuddles! This mans a cuddler im calling it right now that's right you saw it here first kiddos Mikoto Kayano is a snuggling MACHINE!!!

-If you're having suicidal thoughts, he'll be worried to say the least. Won't even let you out of his sight, actually- he'd take as many days off as possible to stay with you the whole time and make sure you don't try anything. He'd be scared of you even going to the restroom without him if you don't reassure him </3

-He's literally just too good for this world like actually-

-he gives the best most top-tier cuddles- he'll pull you onto his lap by the waist and gently hug you as you lie on him. If you're laying down, he'll snuggle up behind you, snaking his arms around you to hold you in a secure embrace as he whispers sweet nothings of encouragement into your ear.

fuuta

-Twitter user alert.. if you’re doing badly because of someone else, he’ll CANCEL THEM on Twitter dot com and DOXX THEM!!! 😰

-No but like after that’s out of the way, he’ll invite you over to cuddle and play games all day. If you don’t feel like gaming, that’s fine! You can watch some trash tv instead. Or just talk. Whatever makes you happiest.

-He’ll wrap a big, fluffy blanket around you and hug your burrito self GERRRR!!!

-If you’re considering offing yourself, don’t expect him to let go of your burrito-body any time soon.. bros staying with you istg.

-He’ll make daily posts on twitter dot com about how great you are and how much he loves you.. it’s embarrassing? So what! Everyone should know how amazing you are, and that includes you:)

Your little pocket ginger isn’t going anywhere<3

#fuuta x reader #mikoto x reader #Kayano mikoto #mikoto kayano x reader #milgram #fuuta kajiyama x reader #kajiyama fuuta #milgram oc #milgram x reader

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emolooswrld · 2 years

Text

Bite Me

pairing: vampire!eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 3.5k

warnings: 18 + minors dni!! smut, angst, slight suicide ideations, mentions of blood, blood consumption, pain kink if u squint, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (wrap it bf u tap it), very slight dacryphilia, squirting, slight spitting kink, dirty talk (and by dirty i mean absolutely filthy), dom!eddie, kind of rough sex, praise kink, use of pet names, fluff at the end, i think that’s it but if i forgot any pls lmk!

summary: you took it hard after your boyfriend died in your arms in the upside down. two months have gone by and you still haven’t spoken to anyone. that is until robin and steve burst through your door with some very unexpected news that changes everything.

note: hey guys!! so ik i haven’t posted in a while. ive been stuck on the fourth part of The Other Woman. dw i am still working on it, but in the meantime here’s this draft that’s been collecting dust in my notes for far too long. this isn’t proof read so if there’s any mistakes lmk. i am so feral for vampire!eddie munson n ik im not the only one, so buckle up n enjoy🥰 ps. this is my first time posting smut so pls lmk if you have any suggestions or critiques.

One thing about grief is that it never really goes away. At least, that was the case for you. Grief had consumed you. You’ve felt it in the pit of your stomach every single day since that night. That horrible, wretched night. The night your boyfriend died in your arms.

You practically died with him that night. Or at least, that’s what you like to think. You’ve felt as though you’re no longer here. Your body becoming just a shell with nothing inside. You went through the motions of everyday without feeling anything.

In the beginning, you had felt nothing but pain, anger, sadness, despair. You had done nothing but lay in your bed, knees hugged to your chest, and cry. Not like any “normal” cry you’ve ever experienced. These kinds of cries were sobs. Deep, guttural, screaming sobs that crawled up your stomach and ripped through your throat. You would cry like this until you couldn’t breathe. You had prayed that maybe one of these times, you’d just choke to death on your own sobs. At least that way you wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore, you’d be with him.

But that was two months ago. About a month after the love of your life’s death, you started to feel the numbness. At least when you were crying, you felt something, even if it was just pain. Now, you feel nothing. Nothing but that grief in the pit of your stomach. Your friends had grown terribly worried about you. You hadn’t talked to any of them since that night. You actually hadn’t talked to anyone since that night. You’ve almost forgotten what your voice sounds like.

You knew he wouldn’t want you to live like this. It was actually one of the last things he said to you. “Promise me you’ll find a reason to love again.” He had asked you. Those big brown eyes staring into your own. “I-I can’t.” You had managed to choke out in between sobs. “P-please y/n. Promise me you will. Don’t let this ruin your life.” He had said in response, lifting a shaky hand to brush a strand of your hair out of your face for the last time. His eyes were desperate, pleading. “I promise.” Your voice was hoarse and shaky. “I love you. Forever and always.” Those were the last words Eddie Munson had said before he died.

That moment had been playing through your mind on a loop ever since. There was never a time where you weren’t thinking about it. You had broken that promise. Your life was ruined the second his last breath left his body. Your life was taken from you the second his was taken from him. Nothing could change that, or so you thought.

It had been two months since Eddie’s death. Two excruciatingly long months. You hadn’t seen or spoken to any of your friends. They had all tried multiple times by knocking on your bedroom door. Each time you ignored them or pretended you were asleep. That was until tonight.

Robin and Steve had practically burst through your bedroom door. You turned to face them, they looked a mixture of mostly scared, confused, and angry. But there was a glint of hope behind their eyes. Robin was the first to speak. “Okay we know you’re still hurting and we have respected your boundaries and we’ve given you your space, but we need to show you something. Now.” You looked between her and Steve. “Cmon y/n. You’re going to want to see this.” Steve had said.

“What is it?” You asked. The sound of your voice had startled you. It was hoarse and scratchy from not using it for two months. “Ah! She finally speaks!” Robin exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “See! You’ve already improved and we haven’t even shown you him yet.” Robin clasped her hand over her mouth. Steve shot her a glare. Your heart dropped. You felt the first thing you’ve felt in a month, hope. “H-him?” You stuttered, voice still hoarse. You looked frantically between Steve and Robin, desperate for some sort of explanation.

It was Steve who walked across your bedroom and sat down on your bed next to you. “I don’t really think there’s an easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come out and say it.” You positioned yourself on your bed so you were looking right at Steve. “Eddie’s not dead y/n. He’s alive.” Your jaw had dropped. You stared at Steve in disbelief. “More like undead.” Robin had muttered from your doorway. You spun around towards her direction. “W-what? What do you mean undead?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. It didn’t make any sense. “He-no-he can’t be alive. I watched him die. I saw him take his last breath.” The tears you thought were all dried up started to make their way down your cheeks.

Steve started rubbing your back. “We know this sounds fucking crazy, but think of all the shit we’ve been through. It’s not totally unbelievable.” You wiped the tears from your eyes. “Robin, what did you mean when you said he was undead?” You watched as Robin and Steve gave each other looks. They were communicating with their eyes, you’ve seen them do it a thousand times. “Tell me.” You begged. “We promised him we’d let him tell you.” Robin said nervously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How long?” You asked from the back of Steve’s car. “How long…what?” Robin said with a confused look on her face. “How long has he been….back?” You saw the look Robin and Steve shared from the rear view mirror. “How long.” It was more of a demand than a question. “A month.” Steve muttered. “Are you fucking kidding me?” You yelled.

“The love of my life has miraculously come back from the dead and none of you said anything for a month?” You felt more hurt than angry. “Listen y/n, he told us not to tell you.” Steve said. “He practically threatened to kill us if we did.” Robin defended. “Why didn’t he want me to see him?” Your voice broke. You couldn’t believe Eddie hadn’t wanted you to know he was alive. He wouldn’t put you through that pain.

“He’s different y/n. A lot different. He’ll explain everything. We’re not allowed to say anything else.” Steve said sadly. He could tell how hurt you were. Robin turned around from the passenger seat and rubbed your knee soothingly. “He has his reasons. I promise it’ll all make sense when he tells you the full story.” All you could do was hum in acknowledgment. The rest of the car ride was silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your heart hammered in your chest as you walked down the steps into Steve’s basement where Eddie had been “hiding” for the past month. You had no idea what to expect. The only detail Steve and Robin had given you about Eddie was that he was undead. Naturally, you were half expecting him to look like some kind of zombie. Fear spread through your body like a poison as you stepped down from the last step.

Your eyes slowly scanned the basement. It was dark, really dark. The only light coming from a small window in the corner. Suddenly, you felt two familiar hands wrap around your waist. You gasped as you were spun around.

To your relief, Eddie did not look like some kind of zombie. He looked almost exactly the same as the day he died. The only difference being he was significantly bigger, stronger. Eddie had always been strong, but it wasn’t too obvious. You could now feel the muscles in his arms from just them being wrapped around you. Another difference was his eyes. They were no longer that beautiful shade of chocolate brown. They were completely black. The last difference you could tell he had tried to hide, but you saw them. Those pearly white fangs.

Eddie held you in his arms without saying anything. Your ear was pressed against his chest. It was quiet, too fucking quiet. It took a moment to realize it. He had no heartbeat. It startled you so much, you pushed him away.

“Where-you-why don’t you have a heartbeat Eddie?” You looked up at him with pure panic and fear consuming your eyes. “Wow. Two months without me and that’s the first thing you say?” Eddie asked playfully. You were not in the mood. You wanted, no, needed answers.

“I'm serious Eddie. What the fuck is going on?” Eddie started to speak but you cut him off. “You died in my arms. I watched you die. I went to your funeral. I have spent the past two months thinking you were dead. And now I find out you’ve been alive for a month and everyone knew except me. Do you have any idea how fucking miserable I’ve been? I haven’t spoken a single word to anyone since that night. Why would you make them keep this from me?” Tears were falling freely down your cheeks.

Eddie stepped closer to you, but you backed away. He frowned. “That’s why. You’re scared of me.” You opened your mouth to deny his accusation, but he cut you off. “Don’t lie to me. I can hear your heartbeat. You’re scared of me. I made everyone keep this from you because I couldn’t bear to see you so terrified of me.” Eddie turned around and sat in a chair on the other side of the room. He put his head in his hands.

“I don’t know exactly what I am, but Henderson says I’m basically a vampire. I really did die that night. I don’t know how long I was dead for, but I woke up. Same place where you guys left me, but I was different. I’m stronger now, a lot stronger. My eyes changed colors and I have fangs. I climbed through the portal and came here, to Harringtons. I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted nothing more than to see you, but I didn’t want you to see me like this.” He took a long shaky breath. “I'm a monster.” It came out as the quietest whisper, but you heard it.

Your heart broke for him. You understood now because he was right. You were scared of him, but he was still your Eddie. Just a little different now. You walked over to where he was sitting. You kneeled in front of him, cupping his face in your hands. “You are not a monster Eddie.” You looked straight into his eyes. “You were right, I was scared of you. But now I know the full story. I don’t know exactly what you are either, but I know for sure, you are not a monster. You’re still my Eddie. I love you. Forever and always. No matter what.”

Eddie grabbed under your arms and pulled you onto his lap. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck. “You broke your promise.” Eddie whispered as he rested his head on top of yours. “I know.” You whispered back. “But you’re here now.” Eddie kissed the top of your head. You laid in Eddie’s lap for what felt like hours. You didn’t want to move. You were afraid this was all a dream and you would wake up any second now. Thankfully, it wasn’t.

“If you’re basically a vampire…do you-have you…” You asked suddenly, curiosity getting the better of you. “Drank blood?” Eddie asked. You nodded. “Yep. Unfortunate, I know. But Henderson has been bringing me blood bags from the hospital.” You looked up at Eddie. “Are you hungry right now?” You asked.

Eddie looked down at you. He couldn’t read minds like the vampires in some movies could, but it didn’t take a mind reader to put together what you were about to ask. “Sweetheart, no. I am not going to drink your blood.” “Why not? I want to help you. And if that means you drinking my blood, I am more than happy to help.” You could tell Eddie was fighting something behind those eyes of his. “It’s dangerous. I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice sounded strained, like he was trying to control himself. “You’ve never hurt me before. I trust you. Please Eddie, let me help you.”

Eddie stood up and picked you up with him. He walked over towards the sofa and laid you down gently. He hovered over top of you. “If we do this and you start to feel light headed or it hurts too much you have to stop me, no matter what.” Eddie’s eyes bored into yours. “I will, I promise.” “I’ve never done this before so I don’t know if I’ll be able to control it. If I don’t stop, scream for Steve and Robin.” “Okay.” That was the last thing you said before Eddie was kissing and sucking his way down your neck.

To say you missed the feeling of his lips on your body would be an understatement. You didn’t know how you’ve gone so long without it. You tilted your head back to give Eddie more access. His tongue circled around your pulse point. The groan he let out was almost inhumane. It excited you and terrified you at the same time. You barely had any time to process what was happening before you felt the sharp sting of Eddie's fangs piercing through your skin.

The pain only lasted for a second. It was quickly replaced with pleasure. It wasn’t the usual type of pleasure you were used to. It was euphoric, like pure ecstasy. You couldn’t help but let out a string of moans. Eddie looked up from his place in the crook of your neck. God, he looked fucking ethereal. The crimson red of your blood was dripping down his chin. His pupils were blown out, eyelids heavy. A few strands of his hair were stuck to his forehead, framing his face beautifully.

He licked his lips clean. “You okay baby?” He asked with a smirk. “Felt so good Eddie.” You panted. Eddie licked your neck clean. “God you taste incredible.” He said as he kissed his way up your neck. You realized you still hadn’t even kissed him yet. You tugged his face up by his hair and crushed your lips onto his. You could taste the metallic tang of your own blood lingering on his lips. The kiss was heated, all tongue and teeth, but you couldn’t care less. It was just what you needed.

You both pulled away, gasping for air. “Fuck sweetheart, if I would’ve known biting you turned you on this much I would’ve done it hours ago.” Eddie smirked. “Eddie, I need you.” You were a whining mess, but you were so far gone you didn’t care how you sounded. “Yeah? Then beg for it, pretty girl. I wanna hear you beg for my cock.” And beg you did. “Please Eddie. I need you so bad. Need to feel you inside me.” You were breathless. “There’s my good girl. God I missed you.” Eddie said as he reached down to unzip his jeans.

You had been so worked up you hadn’t realized the bulge in Eddie’s jeans. Or rather the size of the bulge in Eddie’s jeans. The second you laid eyes on his length, your jaw dropped. Now Eddie had always been on the bigger side, but this was huge. Eddie laughed at your expression. “Yeah that’s another thing that changed. Figured I’d surprise you.” He said with a wink. “Eddie, I could just barely take you before. How am I supposed to now?” You asked, bewildered. “Guess I’ll just have to get you ready first.”

Eddie practically tore your jeans and underwear off. His head dove down between your legs. “Missed this pretty pussy so much.” His hot breath fanning over your core. You didn’t even have a chance to respond before you felt his tongue lick from your folds up to your aching clit. The moan you let out went straight to Eddie's painfully hard cock.

Eddie ate you out like a starved man. His tongue delved through your folds, collecting your slick. He made his way up to your clit, tongue circling around it. You moaned embarrassingly loud as you felt him plunge two of his fingers into your core. The combination of Eddie's fingers hitting that spot deep inside of you that made your toes curl and the circles his tongue was making on your clit had you teetering over the edge in seconds.

“Don’t stop Eddie. God please don’t stop.” You begged. “Gonna cum for me sweet girl? Go on, be my good girl and cum for me.” Eddie groaned against your cunt. The vibrations from his voice sent you over the edge. Your first orgasm crashed over you like the strongest of waves. You felt as though you were floating. Eddie brought you back down to earth by rubbing your thighs soothingly.

You lifted your head up to smile down at Eddie. “There she is, my beautiful girl.” You pulled Eddie up until his face was leveled with yours. Eddie tapped the side of your jaw with two fingers. “Open.” You obeyed and watched as he spit into your mouth. You moaned as you swallowed. “Such a good girl. And all it took was for me to die to finally get you to listen.” Eddie said teasingly.

“God just shut up and fuck me already.” You smirked as you reached between your bodies and grabbed his length. “Still got quite a mouth on you though. Careful or I’ll have to wipe that smirk right off your face.” Eddie said as he pinned both your arms above your head with one hand. “Is that a threat or a promise?” You smiled slyly. “I think you already know the answer to that question.” Eddie said as he started to slide into you.

You gasped as you felt him slowly start to fill you. The stretch was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It burned, but in the most delicious way possible. Eddie stilled inside of you once he bottomed out, letting you adjust to his length. “You all good baby?” Eddie asked, searching for discomfort of any kind on your face. “Fuck-yes-god Eddie please just move.” Eddie smirked as he slowly started to pull out of you, only to slam right back in.

The scream you let out was guttural. Eddie quickly moved to cover your mouth with his free hand. “Quiet pretty girl. You don’t want us getting caught do you?” Eddie asked as he slammed into you again, causing another muffled scream to rip through your throat. “I asked you a question.” You quickly shook your head no. “Good girl.” Eddie praised as he started to thrust into you with no remorse.

Eddie brought you closer to the edge with every thrust. The tip of his cock hitting that certain spot inside of you every time. You were a screaming, writhing mess under him. Your eyes started to tear up from how good it all felt. It wasn’t until Eddie moved his hand down between your bodies and started making lazy circles on your clit, that the tears started to fall. You had never felt this much pleasure before. It was too much and not enough all at the same time.

“Aww baby, you crying from how good my cock feels?” You nodded vigorously. “Poor girl. Can’t even talk you're so cock drunk.” Eddie sped up his circles on your clit. “Cmon sweet girl, cum for me. I wanna see how good I make you feel.” His words were all you needed to finally send you over the edge. Your second orgasm was even more intense than the first. You felt yourself gush around Eddie’s cock. “F-fuck baby, you just squirted. God you’re fucking insatiable.”

You felt Eddie’s movements start to falter. You could tell he was close. “Shit- where do you want it?” Eddie asked. You opened your mouth in response. “You’re a goddamn vixen.” Eddie muttered under his breath as he shuffled up your body. He jerked himself only a couple of times before he was spurting ropes of cum onto your tongue. You swallowed every last bit, not wanting any to go to waste.

Eddie leaned down to kiss you passionately. He could taste himself on your tongue. The kiss was slow and gentle. You were the first to pull away. “That was-“ “I know.” You giggled. “What?” Eddie asked smiling. “It’s just-who would’ve known vampires could be so good at sex.” Eddie playfully slapped your arm. “Shut up.” He said teasingly.

You laid in Eddie’s arms as he traced shapes into the small of your back. “Can you promise me something?” You asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between you both. “Anything.” Eddie said, without hesitation. “Promise me you’ll never leave me again.” You turned your head to look into his eyes. “Baby I promise. After what just happened, you are never getting rid of me.” Eddie teased as he squeezed your shoulder. You giggled softly.

“I love you..” You whispered.

“Forever and always.” Eddie whispered back as he kissed the top of your head.

taglist: @sanzu-holic @harringtonfan4 @mayafatimakhan @sage-the-z0mbie @zbeez-outlet @tlclick73 @anonymousstoryteller2000 @daydreaming-mood @lali1010 @eddiesbattattoos @iunaelumen777 @whore-for-eddie

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things cast #stranger things season 4 #eddie munson my beloved #eddie x y/n #fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #robin buckley #steve harrington #dustin henderson #vampire eddie smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you

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blackoutbugza · 5 months

Text

hey beetles!

introduction

🪲🐌🐛🐞

☆……………….

hey there! my name’s blackoutbugza.

“what do i call you?”

you can call me by my username, or you can call me by my nicknames: bugza, bob, and cam. :)

“who is your target audience?”

my blog is mostly ages 13+ for explicit language, in-character art which may involve sensitive content such as blood, knives, scissors, cuts, scars, suicide, sexual innuendo, injuries, or even death. this sounds like an ad for medicine. of course, i will have warnings on my posts if any of these apply to them.

(note: 13+ DOES NOT mean 18+. please keep this in mind, im still a minor too.)

“what fandoms are you in?”

in order from most to least currently hyperfixated:

sanders sides

bfdi/osc community

bee and puppycat

omori

boisvert

south park

spooky month

five nights at freddy’s

scott pilgrim

hilda

stanley parable

^i’m more than happy to talk about any of these fandoms if you’re interested!

“do you support multishippers?”

yes! i find no harm in shipping someone with more than one person (if they’re not anyone from real life). in fact, i’m a multishipper myself!

“do you take art requests?”

you betcha! any day, any time. but i do have some rules however for what i can and cannot draw for you:

i’m totally okay with ship art. as long as it’s not anything involving p*dophelia, inc*st, r*cism, some kind of f*tish, or anything else falling under that umbrella.

following that “ship art” thing, poly ships are just as valid too. follow the the rules as rule 1 please.

although i may post this art from time to time on my own, i will not do any personal OCs or AUs. i love them very much and you have interesting characters, but this is basically the equivalent to asking, “can you draw me?”

i can draw theories as long as they’re not harmful ones, and as long as they at least make sense.

i won’t take requests for any fandom outside of the list i have above. (however of course, let’s if you wanted a sanders sides art request and you asked for emile picani or remy sleep, that would be fine since sanders sides, the sleep shorts, and cartoon therapy are all in the same universe.)

“who’s on your DNI list?”

p*dophiles, inc*sts, pro-lifers, anyone who will go out of their way to hate on furries or alterhumans (or claims they are the same), harmful f*tish artists/enjoyers, NSFW artists/enjoyers, r*cists, misogynists and misandrists, ableists, homophobes, transphobes, or anyone pro-israel. ^anyone who interacts with me who’s on this list WILL be unfollowed/blocked, and will not receive any sort of contact from me.

“what if i have a question you don’t answer in this introduction post?”

my “send art requests!” button also works as an answering service for any further questions you may have.

“what sanders sides ships will you and will you not do art requests for?”

(not in order from favorites)

will:

logicality

prinxiety

dukeceit

moceit

analogical

loceit

intrulogical

intruloceit

logicaliceit

remile

royality

anxceit

intruality

logince

karrot kings

literally anything else as long as it’s not in the wont list

won’t:

romrem

LAMP

GET TO KNOW ME!!!

———————————————

what’s your favorite color(s)?”

peach, ivory, mango orange, and taupe :)

“why do you only talk in lowercase?”

because i can

“dogs or cats?”

snails

“what’s your favorite holiday?”

i like my birthday!

“are you dating someone?”

nope ;_;

“what’s your favorite object show(s)?”

hfjone, happy star’s gtos, xfohv/the subscriber count, tdos, and the nightly manor

“who’s your favorite sanders sides character(s)?”

logan and c!joan (it may seem like it’s remus but he’s just the funnest to draw)

“why do you take so long to answer art requests?”

i’m lazy (and dried of motivation)

“what’s your favorite pattycake style?”

peppermint patty

“what’s your favorite pokémon?”

mimikyu (basic autism stuff ik)

“oh! do you have autism?”

yep

“what’s your favorite breakfast food?”

bacon

“how do you color your art?”

i make 3 layers. top layer is for outline, bottom layer is for the coloring, and the middle layer is for potential shading or watermarks i may want to remove.

“why did you make a tumblr acc?”

i wanted to post my art on a platform where sanders sides is fairly known and the fandom is stable.

“what’s your favorite book series?”

i don’t like reading :/ if i had to choose one it would probably be the fazbear frights books

“favorite musical artist(s)?”

jack stauber, madilyn mei, tally hall, thomas sanders (if he counts-)

“friends you wanna tag?”

@thegoldenduckie

@not-sure-what-im-feeling

@logan-the-artist

@simply-a-moth

@literallyblanc

@oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

@darksides-dutchess

@starshard17

@theelectricalcity

(anyone who wants to be added/removed just message me & i’ll do it)

i think that’s all. you know the drill.

drink water, eat a snack, take a shower, brush those teeth, and love yourself so much you can shatter the multiverse with just how much you can say “i love me” and mean it. (that would be funny if that actually happened be the one to do it pls)

seriously though. love you.

🪲🐌🐛🐞

☆………………..…………………

#introduction #intro #intro post #hello tumblr #introductory post #introducing myself #who i am #get to know me #this is an updated intro post since i had like 0 info abt me in my last one LOL

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gogolstoelicker · 2 years

Note

You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I noticed that with the TWST Dazai!MC prompt you didn't say anything about how the Dorm Leaders might react to their multiple attempts at suicide, and just, I'm curious.

However if you feel that that's to heavy of a topic, well, I am curious how to Dorm Leaders and Vice Dorm Leaders would act around a Fukuzawa!MC! Especially Lilia because dad to dad communication lol.

Dorm leaders + vice dorm leaders with a Fukuzawa!MC

notes: honestly i think i mostly just forgot to wrote abt the dazai!mc multiple attempts💀im sure the mc will get their ears pulled if the dorm leaders found out tho

•dont ask if theyre occ, i barely played the game now LMFOAOAOAOAO

•also, if the parts are somehow a mess again, pls point ur fingers at tumblr. i have no idea how to fix this thing😔

You're a serious person, capable of maintaining your calm expression at every time. You prioritize the welfare of your subordinates or friends before anything else.

You are not one to hesitate seeking help from someone, especially if it's someone you know. While you're emotionally reserved and impassive, you have quite the scathing sense of humor.

Riddle:

•he's not one to be intimidated but your aura really scare him sometimes that he actually flinched😥

•but other than that, hes fine with u!!

•you're reliable and is really independent (unlike ur friends thats from his dorm🙄esp ace)

•when he got to know u and u guys started getting close, he finally got to witness ur... humor💀

•he's fine with it since its not like u joke often anyway💀💀

•but sometimes ur jokes makes him competitive😭😭can u blame him tho⁉️⁉️

•"you're getting better at being a dorm leader" "thank-" "not better than me tho"

•LIKE YOU SAYING THAT TO A SCHOOL FULL OF VILLAINS. YOU SHOULD EXPECT AT LEAST HALF OF THEM TO FEEL COMPETITIVE OVER IT

•feel this small sense of pride whenever u go to him and ask him for some help

•like wow this person who's very independent and rarely show emotions is asking ME for help????

•speaking of ur emotions, he went😰⁉️at how quickly u gave up at smth bc its cute (example: grim or cats in general)

•one time grim accidentally burned some bushes in the heartslabyul's garden and u were glaring at him

•so grim look at u with these shiny eyes asking for forgiveness

•and u instantly forgave him💀

•riddle was the witness to all this

•WHEN U PULLED OUT A RANDOM CAT TREAT FROM UR SLEEVES, HE WENT😱😰⁉️‼️

•WHY U KEEPING CAT TREAT IN THERE.

Trey:

•kind of glad there's someone like u with the adeuce duo💀

•can u blame him tho? someone needs to watch over those two (plus grim)

•he is quite thankful that you're the way u are tbh

•bc like not only can he ask u for help

•he also feel kind of relieved when he saw the duo getting punished by u instead of riddle for causing troubles (give riddle some rest man)

•he actually noticed ur soft spot for cute stuff🤔

•bc like he noticed u feeding random cats u found bc they're cute (all cats are cute fight me)

•or that time u instantly forgave grim just bc he gave u those shiny eyes thats cute💀

•so he made these treats with cute decorations just for u

•like when u got invited to a unbirthday party or if its ur birthday

•ur face still looks like this😐 but ur hands were busy taking pics of the treats

•and u hesitated touching the pastry since u don't wanna ruin it😭😭

•he thinks its kind of cute and surprising honestly💀

•he wants to tease u but uh ur aura is kind of intimidating😭sorry man

•btw he caught u pulling out some cat treats from ur sleeves while he was walking to the cafeteria💀

•he didn't catch u do so the first time u feed the cats in front of him btw

•he went🤨⁉️

• "u... u keep cat treats there?!?"

•well he just... add it into the list of things that makes u weird but in an endearing way???😭😭

Leona:

•smelt cat treats on u the first time yall met and was wondering if that was what u ate for lunch😭😭

•hey u can't blame him for thinking like that💀why'd u smell like different kinds of cat treats

•and then u pull out some cat treats from ur sleeves for him

•get it? bc hes a lion

•and lions are big cats

• and u like cats

•and u kind of see his ears and go 😐✨

•leona: 🤨😟

•kind of avoids u for that HELP

•spotted u feeding random cats u found with the cat treats u kept in ur sleeves everytime he went to find a nap place

•he sighed but he left u alone

•honestly? he thought you'll be more like riddle or smth bc of ur usual facial expressions😭

•so when u pull this shit he just go🧍🏻‍♀️

•this is the guy i can see ur humor target everytime🎯💀

•he kind of have the same humor as u so like🤔🤔 unexpected match made in heaven???

•but it kind of looks like an argument sometimes to the people around u so uh💀

•well until leona laughs that is

•and u have that small rare smile on ur face

•leona is ashamed to admit he laughed at ur joke😔

•lowkey proud hes the first one to make u smile tho💀

Azul:

•bold of you to assume azul would be intimidated

•students are scared of HIM (his payment)

•and bc he's been around the tweels so much, ur aura had no effect on him

•probably accidentally made u mad with his first contract😥😥

•man was trying so hard to survive then bc u were threatening to pull out ur sword

•and u had this scowl on ur face💀

•it was not a fun experience

•thank the seven u let him off

•(ngl saying thank the seven makes it feels like I'm thanking 707 💀)

•well it is now half fun being with you

•half because u would stop him if he ever thought about making some students work for him in some slave contract again

•(he won't again btw he is a new man‼️(in a way))

•the other half is because you're actually so much fun to be around

•all because of all ur weird quirks💀

•even azul couldn't guess what you would do next

•saw ur soft spot for felines and it got the gear in his head spinning

•"hm🤔maybe if i give the prefect a cat they would let me off again🤔"

•tried and is pretty successful💀

•now he knows how to get u to instantly forgive him

•offered to make u a high quality bag so u can put ur cat food in instead of ur sleeves💀

•u said no btw

•yes, it was because it definitely wasn't free

Jade:

•definitely not scared

•he is the one you should run from

•but instead u gave him this stern look

•so he is very interested

•you're literally his new test subject /hj

•bothers u daily

•all because u run into each other pretty often

•if u want to ask if jade did it on purpose or if it's actually an accident, i am not able to answer

•ran into u one time when i saw a cat

•was about to greet you until u pulled out some cat treats💀

•well congrats? he was genuinely flabbergasted

•like huh🤨😮⁉️the stern and always serious prefect have some cat treats with them⁉️

•no wonder u smell like cat treats💀

•makes it a mission to tease u about it everytime

•u going "so what🤬it's for cats😤"

•you're genuinely so interesting for him💀

•goodluck staying alive with him hot on ur tail ig

Kalim:

•he does get intimidated but not for long

•it goes from like "yikes u kinda scary but hi" to

• "HI HOW'S UR DAY"

•and it lowkey reminds u of ur coworkers so u just let it be

•like kalim is clinging onto ur back and is just hanging by ur neck?

•sure you're strong enough to hold the both of u up anyway

•he suddenly dragged u to a random party he hosted?

•this is fine.

•remember the concept for today? cat foods in sleeves? yes.

•he saw that. he def saw that

•i highly doubt theres no cats with how many animals he brought in sometimes

•so u can already tell just WHAT happened when u come across one

•kalim is very 🤨WOAH😧‼️‼️

•which almost scares the cats and thankfully didn't

•asked a lot of question which he only gets like a one sentence answer of

•notices ur fondness of cats + he always dragged u to visit scarabia anyway

•so guess who have a lot of cats in the dorm now btw😂🙏‼️ #BLESSKALIM

Jamil:

•the one begging through tears and snot to not have that many cats in the dorm

•spoilers: someone didn't listen!!

•so now he may or may not be a catsitter once youre away from the dorm

•also makes u regularly visit the dorm bc its partly ur fault there's so many cats there now anyway

•u dont seem to mind so he takes it as an absolute win

•yes, he absolutely knew abt the cat foods under ur sleeves

•he does not care as long as it does not give him more troubles

•if anything he encourages it since he barely have to take care of the cats because of u

•also, u make his job easier since u naturally help kalim if needed

•which is getting him out of the consequences of his own shenanigans which jamil is very thankful for

•more rest for him + time to rebuild his reputation

•u helped him around in the kitchen here and there too so he is very thankful☺

Vil:

•is pretty neutral honestly??? u look like any other person to him

•except not too ugly, not too eye catching

•youre a perfect middle PLS

•idk if yall can even have a convo

•if yall ever did talk its probably just vil talking and u nodding with some verbal answers here and there

•well its nice having someone hear u talk sometimes so he doesn't mind🙏‼️

•fusses abt the cat fur on ur clothes i bet

•"DIDN'T I JUST HELP U CLEAN THAT UP HOW COME YOU SUDDENLY HAVE MORE CAT FURS"

•and rhen rook came in and snitched on u

•gave u a perfume for ur birthday bc u smell of cat food💀

•theres that one image in my head and i canr stop thinking abt it I'll google later

•update: I CANT FIND IT SO BAVE THIS INSTEAD ITS VERY CLOSE

•a non verbal action of u stink!!

•/HJ

Rook:

•weapon partners??? 😳🥺😚

•i mean who else brings their weapon around campus other than the two of u💀⁉️

•he can watch ur back with his arrow i forgor❤‍🔥u can idk close combat idk anything abt fighting❤️

•so fire couple🔥🔥🔥 /JOKE

•rook is an empath so u can tell he is EXTREMELY affected by the greatness of ur aura /j

•shining eyes, cupping his face, meek voice following u around /j

•I'm using /j alot for rook help

•whenever u went to feed the kitty, he just starts to LOUDLY praise u

•that scared the cats away NOOOO😢

•u almost sliced him off

•rook did apologize at least LMFOAOAOAO

•he even almost went to hunt the cats back down for u until u stopped him

•pls dont kill him

Idia:

•saw it through the cameras and absolutely supports the idea

•like yes!!! show him ur geniusness of how to get cats to get near him more!!

•"that is a very good idea bc not only will the cats get near me more because of the smell of cat food, but I'll also be able to make sure they won't be hungry. yES, i TH-"

•leave him be he hasn't slept in like a week

•bonus point for u he thinks you're very cool and he's more than willing to let u be his friend☺🙏

•but unfortunately that will never happened bc u are very intimidating and he does not like that^^!! esp since u look like you're 0.1 sec away from murdering someone^^!!

•and unfortunately, he jinxed himself

•ortho heard everything and absolutely snitched to u so yall could be friends

•u couldn't refuse ortho hes too cute

•so guess who's stucked with idia trying to think of a convo!!

•its ok a cat walked past and yall started bonding over that little furball

•yknow the cat ladies club LMFAO

Malleus:

•had this one intense staring contest with each other but its really just you guys trying to find what to say to each other

•its ok sebek lowkey saved yall

•by yelling at u btw

•"HOW DARE U ONLY STARE AT THE GREAT MALLEUS LIKE THAT, U HUMAN!! CAN'T U SEE HOW GREAT AND PERFECT HE IS?!?! YOU SHOULD BE-"

•so true i would also worship the ground malleus walks on anyway

•he got cut off so good for ur ears!!

•"sebek stop😐" "yeah stop😐"

•aww look at u two bonding already!!

•no conversation starts after that btw its back to silence woops ig

•well i mean someone did talk at least after a few mins of just walking in silence and the three of u suffocating in it!!

•its just u going "oh what are those?" at a uh how do u spell gorgalous gorgaylous gogalus wait lemme google ok i think its gargoyle😥☺

•anyways u asked so now hes ranting abt every single knowledge he have of them

•youre quite interested so y'all became friends in no time!!

Lilia:

•he sure do love humans and their unique quirks!

•he was on his way to his class one time when he saw u from afar

•u were crouching and all so he was pretty interested in what was holding u up esp since its class time

•thankfully with his super amazing beautiful 1480p quality eyes, he was able to see what u were doing even when he was so far away from u

•which was pulling out cat treats for some random strays u found and probably attract with how u smell

•he was so amused he appeared on top of u

•not likr a handsome male lead "hey bbygirl" being on top of u but

•like "what you got there."

•and just kind of hovers on top of u

•u almost attacked him btw but shh

•he is very interested in u:D!! as a friend AND someone who he will tease for a long time

•since when are we friends? u may asked from afar but he ignored u

•he can be in diasomnia dorm and u can be in the ramshackle dorm and he can still see everything

•that was a joke btw hes no creep and i highly doubt peepaw can see THAT far anyway(i think) •anyways u cant complain but u may or may not found urself in one of their tea times

•malleus isnt there. he forgor /j

•but hey yall have a pretty great time during the entire tea time!!

•peepaws bonding time💋💘💕

#twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #idia shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #have i told yall I've been mixing kalim and jamil's name lately #sometimes i called them kamil or jalim

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superkirbylover · 3 months

Note

hey im sorry if this is a weird ask, but like i was about 11 when i found a roblox rp server ran by you, now long discontinued but in that server i met my first ever internet friend roleplaying. we were friends on skype until eventually they made me move to discord. being on discord lead me to meet other people, and after a long time and joining a couple communities, i met my girlfriend, and a few years later, right now i'm moving into a new house and we're going to be moved in together. none of that would be a thing if i never made a discord account to talk to my friend that i met on your roblox server. so like. thank you. i still follow what you do to this day out of a sort of respect and the knowledge i would be entirely different without that domino effect. i mightve left a youtube comment or some kind about this before? but to my knowledge ive never really told you about this. idk how to end this but like. thank you.

thank you so, so much for the kind words! they made my day today and left me with a huge grin on my face that refuses to go away

i've been told many times about how the roblox rp game, the epic crossover (aka TEC) has affected people. i've been told it's affected people in a good way, and in a bad way. in my experience, it's been a mixed bag-- i've gotten a lot of harassment when i ran the discord server for TEC. it even got dragged to twitter, years later when i talked about my experiences running it publicly, and how i was chased out of my own discord because i got pissed off that nobody said anything to the mods when someone dropped their suicide letter in a vent channel, spearheaded by someone i'd like to keep anonymous (but will call them A for sake of simplicity). there was a callout post that got deleted based off of those events. person A allegedly has/had DID, giving me anxiety around people with DID for a few years. years later after those events, based off of what i was told, allegedly A was faking it. i don't know how true this is, but if this was the case it would make sense. they used their alters in the server in order to shame me and gang up on me, or at least that's how it felt. other admins on the discord and in the roblox game itself have told me that helping me run it all was also immensely stressful, even after i left, and i feel an incredible amount of guilt surround it.

however, those same friends told me a lot of good. they've met their best friends, partners, and realized who they were because of what i made. in a sense, i found out who i was because of TEC. sometimes, though, i doubt that the positive impacts outweigh the negatives. i get really worried about how my actions impact others. and being told this, it really means a lot. i'm really happy i've been able to have that kind of impact on you, even if we don't know each other. it feels nice to bring something positive into somebody's life.

roundabout way of saying: thank you. i'm hanging this on my mental fridge forever

#ask #text

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agoodfictitle-shadowban · 2 years

Text

The Fate You Fight - Pt. 3

Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

[TFYF Masterlist]

Tags: soulmate AU, telephatic link soulmate, architect!reader, jewish!Wanda, post-MoM, hurt/comfort, no proofreading

Warnings: mention of abuse, description of violence, language, mention of attempted suicide

Summary: You never wanted anything to do with your soulmate, but when you find her in an advanced state of distress you had to help. After that, it becomes hard to let her go.

A/n: okay, now we've caught up with what ive written so far, and im replenished in serotonine (your comments give me so much of it you have no idea), so it should make it easier for me to finish writing this piece. Although stressing out because im getting my wisdom teeth removed soon so rip me. Anyway, love you guys, i hope you like this chapter! <3

Taglist: @red1culous @yenmaximoff (since you said you wanted more)

A few more days went by, and Wanda assured you she was fine with you going back to the office most of the day. She seemed to really be doing better now that she had people who supported her, but she seemed bored. You quickly discovered that her life before all this rarely gave her time to find a hobby outside of watching old tv shows. When with the Avengers she spent most of her time training, and before that she was a lab rat, so that wasn't fertile soil to develop interests.

Still, she made an effort to find an occupation, she started reading, tried Anath's video games, even played around with some old art supplies you bought once upon a time and never truly picked up later on. But nothing seemed to really scratch the itch.

Then one day, as Anath was home - she had inherited a week of night shift - and watching the news, a report came about an ongoing battle in the center of Manhattan where the newest members of the Avengers were fighting some terrible danger and were in a really precarious position. Wanda looked at the report in horror, then outside the window from where she could see a column of smoke rising. Before she had even time to think about it, she went to the balcony and jumped into action.

Immediately your best friend called you to inform you of what just happened, and you had to excuse yourself as you went to the closest computer near you, pushing the hands of its user to take control.

"Hey! What's wrong with you Y/ln?"

"Shut up, Dave."

You pulled up a live news feed and looked as your soulmate just arrived on the fight scene just in time to save the new Black Widow and Hawkeye from being crushed by debris. She then flew to the danger and what looked like a very violent battle started while the news anchor commented on the witch's return.

You had a bad feeling about this.

At least the fight didn't last since Wanda took care of the threat in a few minutes, top, before taking off into the unknown. You bolted from the office, trying to get a hold of Wanda's phone, unsuccessfully.

Shit.

Was she going to be okay? She hadn't used her powers in a while, and after the Sokovia Accords she kept a low profile since she was a fugitive. Her appearing out of nowhere like that was bound to bring some unwanted attention.

That was bad.

Finally, she answered her phone.

"Wanda, where are you?"

"The outskirt of the city. I didn't want to go back to your place and risk bringing attention there." That was actually smart.

"Okay, ping me your location, I'm picking you up. In the meantime, stay hidden."

She did what you asked for, and after a while she was climbing in your car. Immediately she noticed how white your knuckles were on the wheel.

"Y/n…"

"Not now." Your voice was strained and dry, trying to hide any form of emotions.

Wanda recoiled in her seat while your eyes stayed glued on the road. The way home was quick but heavy with what you left unsaid, but what worried her even more was the lack of your voice in her head. Were you truly not thinking anything, or did you cut her off? She had no way to tell, so when you closed the door behind you she turned to face you, eyes already filling with tears. But before she could say anything, you crashed into her in a crushing hug.

"I was so scared, Wanda, so scared." You plunged your face in the crook of her neck, taking deep breaths. She smelled like sweat and smoke after her fight.

"I'm okay Y/n, I'm good," she reassured you as she finally laced her arms around you, rubbing your back in slow circles. "I don't even have a scratch, I swear."

You actually took the time to examine her, backing away, your eyes roaming her in search of any visible wound. You nodded. Good. That was good. Still, you brought her in your arms again. You wanted to feel her against you, solid, there. When you finally let your arms slide off of her she took your hands in hers, her fingers still black at the tip but slowly going back to normal with time, and squeezed them gently.

"You feeling better?" She asked and you nodded.

Everything was good. There was just a question burning on your tongue but you had no idea if you should ask it. It was none of your business, you thought. On the other hand…

"Are you going to get back into superheroing?" You asked in a worried whisper.

Her eyebrows furrowed at the question as if she didn't think about it. And she didn't. "I don't know," she answered in a confused tone, because she truly had no idea. "I… I acted on instinct. They were kids. I had to do something."

You thought about it, pinching your lips before you nodded. "Okay."

"You're not mad?" She tilted her head at that, some more confusion etched on her face.

"No, no, I'm not mad. I–" you stammered and looked up at the ceiling as you looked for your words. "I was worried, but also… you're a kickass hero, and I kind of told you to do good. And if for you it means going out there and fighting, so be it."

"O-okay, that's… I'm… I don't know yet if–" she breathed out shakily. "I don't know if I will do that too often."

"That's good, I mean, fine, you know. Do that as often as you want," you rambled a bit and she laughed, and you did too. "God, you were so cool out there!"

You laced your fingers with hers and leaned forward so your foreheads touched.

"It felt good to help again."

"Okay, how about celebratory take out? Chinese?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head when another voice sounded from the living room.

"I'm open to chinese."

Anath smirked at you and you blushed. You had completely forgotten she was here, and apparently Wanda had too since she was getting almost as red as her hair.

Your best friend laughed, and you took your phone out to get the food.

"Sooo, Y/n," Anath started and you could see she wanted something.

You raised your eyebrows. "Yes, Anath?"

"Wanda hasn't been using the guest room for a while." Where the hell was she going with this? "And my dad is coming to town for a conference soon."

Ah, that's where she was going. "And you want him to stay here."

She nodded sheepishly.

"I'll talk to her about it." You didn't even know what you were supposed to talk about exactly. You narrowed your eyes at Anath. "When is he coming?"

"In two days."

You drank your coffee. You were not looking forward to having that conversation.

"Sooo, Wanda," you started in a very similar way as Anath did earlier. Wanda frowned and let you continue while she steered the food in the pot.

"Anath's dad will be in town, and she'd like him to stay here. And you know. You've been sleeping with me. I mean, in my room, I mean, you know." You were feeling so flustered, it was getting ridiculous. Lately you had found yourself more nervous than usual around Wanda, your heart beating in your chest stronger than ever.

"Are you asking me to move in your room?" She was now arching an eyebrow and you felt dumb with your sweaty palms.

"It's just temporary, then–"

"Okay." Your eyes widened. "I'll move to your room."

"Oh, good. Huh. Temporarily?"

"If you want it to be."

You looked to the side, a hand on the back of your neck. "Let's try it out before we make any big decision."

It doesn't have to mean anything, after all. You would be fine, right? You were not at all developing a giant crush on Wanda after all, mhm, nope, never.

Two days later, you had emptied a few of your drawers for Wanda to fully move in your room for the week to come. It felt oddly natural to have her take up more of your personal space, but it also left you feeling uneasy, trapped by an all knowing universe, and it bothered you deeply. But as usual, you repressed your emotions as deeply as possible so you wouldn't have to think about it. So when Anath's dad, Ephraim, finally arrived, everything was ready.

As usual you spent a good five minutes listening to them exchange in Hebrew from the kitchen, not understanding anything until a translation seemed to pop in your head in Wanda's voice. That made you frown pretty deeply and you glanced at her as she seemed to follow the conversation along as she snacked on cashews - yours, by the way, apparently now she was okay with just stealing your food. Finally the man came to say hello to the both of you and was pleasantly surprised to hear Wanda speak Hebrew to him.

Anath threw a questioning look your way and you just shrugged. You had no idea she spoke the language or if she had any religious affiliation to begin with.

The rest of the day flew by, and you actually learned that Wanda was jewish, which, good for her. You already knew a bit from Anath but never truly took the time to study the matter that much. She admitted she didn't practice anymore, but she still received an invitation to join Anath's family during important holidays - along with the one you received every time one of them came around. You had a feeling this time you might actually take it if Wanda's thoughts were anything to go by.

The next morning as you were taking breakfast with everyone, a golden magic portal opened in your living room and Wanda immediately jumped on her feet when Dr. Strange and Wong came through. This was bad, you could tell, so you stood up too.

"Do you often have wizards coming through portals here nowadays?" Ephraim asked in a whisper towards his daughter and child-in-law.

"It's honestly starting to feel like a Tuesday," Jamie answered, Anath simply tilting her head, unable to deny it.

"Strange, what are you doing here?" A very nervous Wanda challenged, hands at the ready to use her magic.

"I could ask you the same question, Wanda. More so I should ask you the same question. I thought you died at the top of Wundagore," Strange answered, while Wong behind him was also assuming a fighting stance, just in case.

"I think I want that weird man to answer first," Anath piped up, drawing attention to her.

"I'm sorry, who, who are you?" He asked, looking at her.

"Dr. Anath Weiss. This is my apartment."

"Mine too," you added, while Jamie mumbled it and raised their hand to say they were an inhabitant too. Strange looked at the older man in the room.

"I'm just visiting, don't mind me."

He actually had a better look at him. "Are you Dr. Ephraim Weiss? You're the current director at UC San Diego Health, aren't you?"

"Oh, Dr. Stephen Strange! You used to be a prick."

This made Jamie spit out food everywhere on the table. Wong behind him seemed conflicted. He wanted to say something, but seemed to agree to a certain degree.

"Well, I'm not here to be disrespected, so, Wanda. Come with me."

You could hear a lithanie of 'no's coming from her mind and her eyes started to turn red. That was your cue to step in, so you did, taking a step to move in front of Wanda, between her and Strange.

"I'm sorry buddy, but she's not going anywhere."

He rolled his eyes, this was getting old. "And who are you?"

"Y/n Y/ln. I'm her soulmate."

He blinked at that, looking between the both of you. "But I thought–" he started, confusion all over his features, but it was quite clear what he thought for Wanda.

"You thought it was Vision."

Wait, what? Vision as in… The Vision? Hiding what you felt right now was hard, but you managed well enough since the wizards didn't seem to notice. Wanda shook her head.

"It was complicated," she said, and boy, it sounded like that. Maybe it was time to ask her some questions.

"Alright, so I take it you won't…" Strange had a look towards you, then your friends. "How about we talk about all this at Kamar-Taj?" He opened a new portal to the temple.

Wanda came closer to you and you extended your hand behind you to grab hers.

"I just want to talk," Strange assured her, "and why don't you bring Y/n with you? As a sign of good faith."

You gave Wanda an interrogating look, and after a few seconds of impossible to grab thoughts, she finally nodded. "We'll come."

He stepped aside to allow you passage and you walked in the portal with Wanda. Wong came next, and then Strange. The three left in the kitchen looked at the golden ring which disappeared.

"Your place is very lively," Ephraim commented.

Anath drank her coffee, not answering to that. She liked it like that.

As you entered Kamar-Taj, you looked around at everything. There must have been a tornado going through recently with all the damages you could see around here.

"Where are we?" You reached to Wanda in your thoughts - it was the first time you were trying something like that - and she quickly answered, giving you the rundown on Kamar-Taj. Then she added the smallest details at the end.

"All the destruction is my fault."

That was a frown worthy moment, and you felt like you really needed a catch up. When you glanced at Wanda, she was looking down in shame, a slight tremble on her lips. You squeezed her hand reasuringly while you were led to a room. There you side down across Strange and Wong.

"So, let's start with the beginning. What happened after Wundagore."

No playing around with Strange. Wanda decided to simply comply and answer so it would be over faster.

"I survived, I wandered around and arrived in New York. I don't really remember how."

"Alright, then what?"

"I just…" she looked away. "I stayed around. I didn't know what to do. I really thought Wundagore would kill me."

"We thought so too."

Listening to that was painful, but that last part made you tic. "Wait a second," you intervened. "What's Wundagore?"

"It's the place of origin of an ancient powerful book of magic, one that corrupt people and that Wanda had in her possession until recently," Wong answered before Strange would keep him from doing so.

"Is that why…" you wiggled your fingers under the very annoyed look of Strange that you interrupted his interrogation.

"Can we keep going?"

"No, we can't." You snapped at him, your voice starting to fill with anger.

"What?"

You leaned forward and even if you had no power, no magic, no training to look even remotely menacing, the man still felt threatened somehow.

"You knew what she was attempting to do, destroy an ancient site of corrupting magic," a look at Wong and he nodded to confirm it, "and that she would supposedly die from it, which was clearly her goal from what I'm hearing, and you let her do it? Suicide by heroism? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Your voice went up and up with anger as you talked and everyone in the room looked at you like two new heads grew on you.

"Well, there was the whole Westview incident, and she just had killed a few people. And then tried to kill a kid," Strange explained, not liking the tone you were employing with him. "And the Darkhold is not really something you come back from."

"You kind of did," Wong pointed out.

"Yes, because it got destroyed."

You looked at the two men in front of you. "Weren't you supposed to be friend at some point? Or at least on the same team with the whole Avengers thing?"

"We weren't exactly– Yes, we collaborated."

"And you didn't stop five seconds to– to just–"

"We tried to give her an out. She was never coerced into attacking that kid, or into attacking here."

"You just fucking said that the magic book corrupted her! That the only reason you're okay is because she destroyed it! You got fucking lucky, because she managed to break the hold! AFTER IT CORRUPTED HER!" You stood up at that, already halfway there since you kept straightening from anger at each of your words. You couldn't take anymore. Wanda looked at your extended hand. "We're leaving. Do your magic thing so we can go home."

The blackened fingers found yours and pulled the witch up. Strange tried to keep you from going by standing in your face. At this point all you could hear was your blood pumping in your temples and before you knew it you punched him.

"Fuck!" That hurted more than you thought it would. Wong decided it was time to take the wheel and opened a portal for you.

"We will visit you again once you've calmed down," he still let you know and you sent him a deatly glare. "Not as enemies."

Once you went through the portal it closed behind you and the others - who were finishing breakfast - looked at you. Wanda bolted for the freezer and took out a pack of peas.

"Shit, what happened," Anath asked looking at you. It was the first time she saw you so mad.

"She punched Strange," Wanda answered and came back to you - you had collapsed on the couch - to press the peas to your hand through a hand towel.

"Good," Ephraim said under the disapproving glance of his daughter who was getting up and approaching you to examine your hand. "What? It's true."

"What did he do?" Your best friend asked, and you glanced at Wanda. She looked scared that you were going to say anything.

"He was just being a dick," you dismissed and as usual, Anath respected your boundaries, Wanda able to breath again.

She looked at your hand that was already bruising. "The last time you picked a fight was warranted, so I won't say anything. Plus your hand is fine, so, no worries. Just keep icing it for now."

You nodded and your friend assembled her side of the family to go out while Wanda stayed next to you, worry in her eyes. Gears seemed to turn in her mind about what just happened, so you were hardly surprised when she finally talked about the whole ordeal that happened.

"You know, they're right. I was beyond redemption at the time…" she looked at her own hands.

"Come on Wands, that's ridiculous. Look how far you've come."

"I tried to kill a teenager, Y/n." Her eyes full of tears found yours. "I wanted to steal her powers for selfish reasons, and for that I killed countless people. And the worse is that I didn't care."

"That wasn't you, that was the– the Darkhold." That was the name of the thing, you thought.

"No. It's not just that… I–" she blinked a few tears away, looking up at the other end of the room. It was time for you to know everything.

It took so long for her to tell you everything, from Vision's death to Westview and finally to the dreamwalking and Wundagore. You listened, never saying anything. There was nothing for you to tell anyway, it wasn't your story. From time to time you would give her a squeeze of the hand to help her continue, until finally she reached the final chord. It was all a lot to digest. By the end of it your legs were crossed on the couch and the peas were on the coffee table.

You needed some time to think but you could feel Wanda's expectant gaze shifting continuously between you and her hands, so you still wanted to say something.

"I can't find it in me to blame you, Wanda," you finally said. You refused to absolve her, but you couldn't condemn her either.

"You should. I told you I was a monster."

"You're not. You're only human." That seemed to get her attention for good, her eyes hungry for more explanations. "If I, if anyone, really, had your powers? And if I were in your situation? I'm not sure I would… I'm certain I wouldn't have done better. From Westview to Wundagore."

The red rim of her eyes shined with tears that should have already dried after she told you her story. "I'm destined to destroy the world, Y/n."

"Screw destiny!"

Your sudden fire made her jump. In all this story she gave you, you finally realized how much destiny, fate, whatever you wanted to call it, counted on you never being there for Wanda. Because of course someone who was left alone would want to destroy the world, would want for all of it to end even if it meant taking everyone else with them. And that gave you a real choice, and her too. You would fight so she could have it.

"I mean, fuck, you can't condemn someone because you think that one day they might do a bad thing. No, you help them, until they get better, and until you know they're not a risk anymore. You don't let them try and commit suicide." Your voice became weak under the heavy weight of your words. "People should have helped you."

"I didn't want their help."

"They should have still tried." I should have tried, you thought bitterly. But it was too late to change that now. "I want to try." That was the best you could offer, because you truly believed Wanda was good, that what happened was a fluke. And you also believed she had to make amends, do better.

"I'm not worth it."

Gently, you took both of her hands between yours. "I choose to believe you are."

She looked at your linked hands, and at the way your eyes were burning with so much hope and trust. Trust in her despite everything she did and everything she could still do. It was something she missed, that feeling that someone had her back no matter what. It was something you chose for yourself too. You chose to be there for her, and that alone made it all so much easier.

"How will I ever be able to thank you for everything?"

A warm smile spreaded on your face, a love - not romantic, not yet - evident in your eyes.

"Get better."

And she did. A few weeks went by, during which she came into contact with various people - the most notable being Clint Barton since he knew better than anyone else in the old team how she felt after everything she did, and she started seeing a therapist - one from Kamar-Taj who renounced her old life but agreed to use her knowledge for this very specific case. It helped ease Strange and Wong too, and even if they kept checking on Wanda, it was more in the spirit of making sure she was okay than real surveillance.

Jamie made good on his idea and every week they would select a special dish to cook for Wanda - sometimes with her too. She went ahead and helped the new Avengers from time to time when Clint was busy with his family, and you had the occasion to meet a few of them when they needed patching up and Anath was home. Your place was quickly becoming a secondary med bay for them, and you had to remind them that it was still your place of living, so from time to time they would bring food and drinks and impose a game night.

The friendship between you and Wanda grew, and so did your crush, but you were still hesitant to act on it despite your best friend's sporadic remarks that she clearly liked you too.

"It's not the problem, An'," you told her one day. "It's that I'm not sure if she's ready for a relationship. Hell! I'm not sure if I'm ready."

"Sounds to me like you're just avoiding your feelings."

"Which kind of proves my point, doesn't it? If I were ready for a relationship, I wouldn't feel the need to avoid my feelings." Anath sent you a weary look.

"Why are you like this?"

"Years of unresolved trauma," you answered as you picked up a bag of potatoes to throw in your shopping cart. "And I just… I don't want to rush. Plus it's not because we're soulmates that we have to be together that way."

"But you want to."

You did. Sometimes it would keep you up at night, and you'd have to stay in the living room until she fell asleep so that you wouldn't keep her awake by admiring her - yes, it happened often enough that it became a problem.

"That's irrelevant. She had a husband and kids that she lost inside a month of time. I can't just spring my feelings on her like that."

Anath sighed and gave up. She knew that even if you were now more open to the soulmate subject, your situation was still hard to deal with. If anything were to ever happen, it probably would come in time. You were certainly in no hurry.

"So, anything new with Y/n? Maybe a date or two?" Clint asked while he was checking the breakfast aisle with Wanda. She acted like she didn't hear the question, but the blush on her face showed otherwise. Sometimes even just thinking about you would elicit very strong reactions from - and within - her. "Come on kid, it's obvious."

"Well. No, nothing happened. We're just friends." A very sad truth if there ever was one. You had a few 'moments' where there had been a spark, where eyes fleetingly found the other's lips, but neither of you ever acted on it. It was always a bit awkward after with the tension in the air, but it was all but forgotten the next morning when you would wake up in each other's arms. Which might also be something you needed to discuss, because for all accounts and purposes, you were a couple in a lot of aspects of your life. "I don't think she wants more."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if she did, she had plenty of occasions to show me. Or tell me." She picked up a box of cereals - Kate's favourites - and put it in her cart.

"Have you thought that maybe she's trying to give you space and time?" Clint pointed out in all his wisdom.

"What if I don't want space and time?" She walked over to the next aisle. "What if I want more?"

"Well, then you'll have to tell her." He put some boxed mac&cheese in the cart for Yelena - Jamie hated it. "I know she can literally read your mind, but maybe she has a reason not to act on it."

"What would that be?"

So many answers came to Clint's mind, but he decided to keep most of them for himself and instead impart some wisdom. "What you want is not always what you need, and maybe she thinks that even if you both want each other, you both need to take some time before you rush into anything."

Wanda considered his words. He was probably right, you had always been very attuned to what she needed. She actually talked about it with Therese - her therapist - and pointed out pretty much the same thing as Clint did. You both had heavy trauma, and rushing might cause more damages than anything else. It could cause one of you to panic, or trigger unexpected trauma.

"I don't like it, but I see your point," she said in a careful tone. Clint smiled at her proudly - he could see how far she'd come, all her progress, even if she still had a long way to go.

"I'm glad you do." He looked over her shoulder at something on the other side of the store. "Now I suggest we go, I think Yelena just broke something."

Wanda turned around only to see the assassin and Kate trying to hide their latest catastrophe.

Days went by, then weeks and months, and the more time went by, the harder it was to resist your feelings and the way Wanda would look at you, full of hope. It was one you gave her, that now had grown to be her own. It wasn't just hope to be with you, to find a shoulder to cry on so she would feel better, it was all she aspired to do in the future, with or without you by her side. And it was beautiful, but you still wondered if you could do it.

"Wanda!" You heard someone call as you were walking with her towards the portal Wong made - you had taken a habit to take tea with him while Wanda had her therapy session after you helped with Kamar-Taj rebuilding. You turned around to see a young woman with a jean jacket. Wanda recoiled against you, a panic you hadn't seen in her eyes in a while taking over her.

She's right here, everyone trusts you, Wanda, it would be so easy to just take it. Take it. Take it.

The life she dreamed of with her boys had lost some of its appeal to her - maybe because of how heavily she associated it with Vision -, but from time to time, she still heard that voice inside of her, still saw their faces, and heard their voices calling for her. But she kept fighting it, saw it for what it was now, grief appropriated by an evil she was still fighting. Nowadays, her fingers barely showed any signs of the corruption she went through, but she still felt its effects in those moments.

The young woman - America, you guessed - stopped in front of you both, so you took Wanda's hand in order to reassure her.

"I'm joining the Avengers!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Are they running out of recruits? Between you and Kamala, you're gonna bring the age demographic through the ground," you commented. You loved Kamala, but she was way too young to fight crime. And from what you saw, America was too.

"Well, I'm not joining-joining, but I'll be helping during minor crisis! And if I'm supervised by a senior Avenger, sooooo…" her eyes fell on Wanda once again. "What do you say? Want to team up?"

"I– I'll have to think about it," she answered, her voice wavering.

"Sure! Oh and don't worry about the whole trying to kill me for my powers thing. I talked with Strange and Wong, and they say you're cool now! And I trust them, so, I trust you too!"

That made you wince, and a quick look at Wanda told you all you needed to know without even hearing her thoughts.

"Anyway, gotta bolt, see you soon!"

And with that she left as fast as she came. Wanda and you finally went through the portal and soon enough you were home alone. You turned to look at her, make sure she was okay, but as you did, you could see that she was anything but. Slowly you guided her to the couch and sat her down, doing the same with one leg under you so you could face her.

"Wands…?"

"I– I can't, Y/n," she murmured when she finally dared to glance at you.

"That's okay, you don't have to accept."

"I don't even understand– why would she ask me? I tried to kill her."

You thought about it. "Maybe she feels like your set of powers make you the best candidate," you shrugged. That was the only explanation you could conjure up. If Strange were here, maybe he would suggest that it had to do with the both of you reminding her of her mothers. "I don't think it really matters why, just that she asked and whether or not you feel up to it."

"Do you think I should do it?" She asked you. She would do it on occasion, ask your opinion on matters she had a hard time resolving. She liked that your perspective was usually more global than her, as you would look at the problem from a more distant eye.

You blew up your cheek before you let out a deep sigh. "I mean… you're an exceptional witch, and maybe spending time with the girl might actually help you heal from what happened with her."

Wanda clearly still felt guilty about it, as she should, but if America was ready to forgive her and even work with her, then maybe it was a good occasion to show that she truly changed.

She followed your train of thoughts and nodded. "That's a good point…"

"But you still need time to think about it." That made sense, it's not like it was a small decision to take. She nodded in answer.

"When she approached us, I… there was this voice in me–" she started, and you knew what she was talking about. She had revealed to you at some point how sometimes she would feel tempted, how she wanted to use her powers to make the universe bend to her will, and how hard it was to do so. The first time she told you, she cried so much about it. To her it was proof she was a bad person, but to you it just showed how much of a fighter she was.

"That voice isn't you, you know it," you said as you wrapped yourself around her and she sank into you.

She never answered your statement, but she didn't need to. You could hear her loud and clear, fighting her doubts with your words.

"Why don't we watch something so you can clear your mind a bit, and we can talk about it again tomorrow morning?" You offered.

She nodded and you took a better position on the couch, allowing her to lean against your front, and you put on her favourite show.

#wanda x reader #wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch #tfyf fic #idk how to tag

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xviruserrorx · 4 months

Text

Title: "When We All Fall Asleep"

In which Virus is sick so I'm posting this fic I completely forgot to post for @merlinmicrofic and the last prompt for this round which is Awake I Feel so accomplished finishing all three on time (at least it's on time in my timezone) and im a bit delirious but hey! Never a dull time to upload fic! Enjoy!

Merlin Micro Fic - Tumblr | Ao3 - [Prev <- • -> Next]

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Prompt(s): Awake

Relationship(s): Mordred & Merlin

Character(s): Mordred, Merlin

Important Tag(s): Hurt Mordred, Hurt no comfort, Angst, Brought Back From Death

Rating: Teen & Up

Warning(s): Suicidal Ideations, Near Character Death

Word Count: 500

He swallowed, trying to wet his throat. “Why?” “Why, what?” “You brought me back.” He shifted, wincing at the pain. “I can feel it.” Merlin pulled away. “You know why I did it.” Or Near death and welcoming it, Mordred finds himself being pulled away with only Merlin to blame.

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It was an indescribable feeling. Pain—the immense pain that came from a blade being plunged through his chainmail and doublet. Somehow it had been made worse when Mordred had looked down and found his own blade through him.

He could only remember the remnants of voices around him that blended together as did every second of the memory. His hand clutching around his sword, the way his voice faltered as his chest ached, the battle that continued around him, the shout for his name that could have been anything else. All until he had collapsed into darkness.

That wasn't the indescribable part though.

It was the way he could feel it all as it dissolved. Not to nothing, but to something tolerable.

It was warm. That light hum in his ears as they no longer worked to process everyone's voices. His chest no longer fit to ache with every breath for there was no breath to struggle against. It was the illusion of peace before that—the same darkness they all talked of without really knowing it.

But not really knowing perhaps was less worse than to know and be ripped away.

The pain, It was back. His chest ached again. That hum—that warmth. It was cold…

He could feel where death had been yanked out of him. The hole it left, as if he were so desirable to some sort of parasite.

He felt the first breath he was aware of, along with the heaviness of his eyelids that made him want to cry. There was a soft surface beneath him and something made of cloth laid on top of him. He forced another breath upon himself.

The brightness; dizzying, before he allowed his eyes to focus as he looked around.

Camelot. The physician's chambers. More importantly Merlin was sat across the room. Sleeves pushed up to his forearms and rag in hand as he cleaned the table.

“Why?” His voice came out forced, his throat dry and working against him.

Merlin turned his head. Something of surprise and yet he was still pleased. “You're awake.” He tossed the rag and walked over to him.

He swallowed, trying to wet his throat. “Why?”

Merlin grabbed the cup on the table closest to Mordred. “Why, what?”

“You brought me back.” He shifted, wincing at the pain. “I can feel it.” He wanted to scream.

He sat, put his hand behind his head and lifted the cup to his lips. “Drink.”

Mordred cleared his throat after the water cooled and soothed it.

“I know you can,” Merlin said.

Mordred knew he could too. He could still feel the remnants of Merlin's magic in his touch.

Merlin pulled away and put down the cup next to him. “You know why I did it.” His hands moved down to the bandages wrapped around his middle.

Mordred grimaced. “You should have let me die.”

His jaw tensed. He put the bandages back in place and shrugged. “Perhaps.” He stood and cocked a grin. “Perhaps not.”

#bbc merlin #merlin micro fic #virusfanfic #merlin fanfic #sir mordred #merlin emrys #near character death #no one actually dies

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shitpostingsystem · 5 months

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bsd ramblings (season 3 and 4)

“is there really any value to this thing we call living?” dazai’s a mood

KID DAZAI AND CHUUYA OMFGOMFG

“what kind of suicidal punk are you” — chuuya to his future husband

omg i love the sillies

mori sounds like the kurzgesagt dude ngl

THEY HATE EACH OTHER OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE

THE B A N T E R

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

chuuya being a shortie is so fun. “i’m still growing” growing my ass just kiss dazai already

THE ODA PARALLELS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

dazai you autistic motherfucker

chuuya being a gang leader is fun

dazai is my silly

wait so chuuya’s technically 7 years younger than he actually is?

gravity boi x suicidal manic, my favorite ship dynamic

THE BABIS ARE SKKING THE BABIS ARE SKKING THEYRE DOUBLE BLACK WKEHRUEHUFUEBDHDHSBEH

when are dazai and chuuya gonna kiss dammit

THE SILLIES ARE BANTERING JEUDHWHSUHE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

WHY IS DOSTOYEVSKY SO FINE

dostoyevsky is so silly

i am in dire need of more pm dazai. i need it all. i need more. i crave my husband’s past life. i need to see him and chuuya kiss while wiping out their enemies.

i can’t wait to write fanfic once i finish this show. i don’t wanna screw up anything canon wise so i’ll wait. i’ll watch all of the show plus the spin-off to get all the dazai i can. i’ve already pirated the movie, nothing can stop me now.

dazai is a slut and i love him for it. this is actually canon (at least during his pm years he was)

dazai x kunikida x chuuya

kyouka is my child, i love her so much

I HATE FANSERVICE. I THOUGHT BSD WOULD BE THE GOOD ANIME WITHOUT IT

KYOUKA MY BABY IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS I LOVE HERRRRR

power of money?? real american o7 yeehaw capitalism

bro just walked into someone’s home, sat down, and started laughing

“black daniels” HEY THATS JACK DANIELS

“hey poe!! it’s so nice to see you!!” JUST KISS ALREADY YOU TWO

the random ass fish-eye cuts in this show 😭😭

“OBJECTION!!” what is this, ace attorney???

i love how the superhumans are called gifteds, implying they’ve taken at least one honors/ap course. by that logic, i’m extra gifted (im in honors history and english)

i haven’t seen dazai in a while wtf. where’s my husband?? i’ve barely seen kunikida, let alone chuuya. ok he’s here rn, prob won’t be for long

ok but seriously mori is a pedo. elise is getting used even though she’s a fucking brat who gets what she wants

oh shit they got blew up

nvm

DID AKUTAGAWA JUST NARUTO RUN

oh shit i forgot the catholic existed. puritan, whatever. same difference, both are culty at times

FUCK MORI. THAT FUCKING PEDO.

i think what i love about bsd is that the characters are complex. dazai can be considered a serial killer and definitely bad mentor to akutagawa but an amazing mentor to atsushi and is my husband

i love dostoyevsky’s english va. they did such an amazing job. 100/10 russian accent

MY HUSBAND GOT SHOT OMGOMGOMG MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

HI CHUUYA I MISSED YOU. AKUTAGAWA TOO HI HELLO

RANPO <33 MY SILLY GETTING SERIOUS OOOOOO

HI KENJI IT’S BEEN SO LONG I HAVENT SEEN YOU

CHUUYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

virus cannibalism my favorite /j

kunikida has tear gas powers? what is he, a cop???

oh noooo a kid got shotttttt how terribleeeeee /s

THE SAD AF MUSIC I CANT WHY IS THERE A CELLO HERE

oh that’s why, dostoyevsky has one

I LOVE GIN <33

kenji the silly!!

“aren’t you the one who lost to dazai?” RANPO RUBBING THE WOUND IN DAMN

the music is autism frfr

KARL <333333

“if ranpo really were to die in that world though, what would i do with myself?” — edgar allen poe

katai’s dead? damn. rip ig

oh shit here’s the bowl cut lemon dude

the office girls are dating

damn fukuzawa and mori had a past together

WHY DOES NATSUME LOOK LIKE WALMART HITLER

dazai making his kids work together is gold

“what did you have for dinner last night?” “yes” GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

the classical music omg

“you’re quite the rough ride, yknow” that’s what she said

“enough, you’re not paying for this ride” that’s what she said

incel (katai) isn’t dead

i love how dazai is the mafia boss in a different timeline

akutagawa and atsushi are so down bad for each other omg

my native english speaking ass hears theodore instead of fyodor. i’m pretty sure it’s the same but different languages but still

dazai <3

ranpo <3

BAR LUPIN BAR LUPIN WJSBAJBSKWUSMSIMSJDBHSJSHSHS IM GONNA CRY

wait so season 4 is fukazawa focused? dammit i wanted more dazai

HI RANPO MY SCRUNGO HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

i fucking love ranpo. the silly

he’s such a brat. good for him

IS THERE A CULT????? LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE CHRISTIANITY ON STEROIDS

oh it’s the play

“there something everyone else gets and i don’t get it” RANPO MY AUTISTIC SCRUNGO <33

ranpo my silly <33

honestly i keep forgetting they’re detectives

ranpo has adhd and autism

ranpo got fucking bitch slapped i love him

“as always, i have a hard time saying no to ranpo” ITS BECAUSE YOURE GAY POE

“but i got to see your rare, exasperated face so it was well worth the money!” poe you homosexual

“are you that detective’s fanboy or something?” “no i’m his rival!” how about boyfriend?

i fucking love ranpo omg

NIKOLAI IS SO SILLY

why can i handle anime gore but not irl organs omg

my gore levels are weird. organs and bodily fluids (beside blood) are a no-go but i can see a dead body no problem

when did atsushi become op

“a total of 625 charges…” MY BABY GETTING ARRESTED NOOO

GOD I FUCKING LOVE NIKOLAI

wait so the ada is a front? wtf??

i’m so confused wtf is going on

the decay of angels would be a cool ass band name

ok so moot says ada is innocent and shit like that. i trust them.

teruko is my child

everyone’s a shitty person i love them

HI CHUUYA OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA

why chuuya kinda 😳😳

kunikida has ocd (i’m not projecting wdymmm)

“i won’t let anyone mess up my schedule!” whole mood and a half there kunikida

WHY DOES THE FANDOM IGNORE KUNIKIDA BEING AN IDEALIST OMG

dazai <33333333333333333333

dazai and dostoyevsky are besties fuck you

“she’s so strong-willed! i love it!” MORI YOU PEDO

“Dazai is a good person SOMETIMES! But he’s also a criminal who has done fucked up shit! And he has a personality! He’s really smart! And lowkey manipulative to get what he wants! He’s not amazing!” my moot gets it!!

morally dubious characters <33

i love yosano so much

HI ANGO

i love lucy

sticking out your gyatt for the rizzlerrr you’re so skibidiiiiiiii you’re so fanum taxxxxxx i just wanna be your SIGMAAAAAAAAAAA

sigma is so silly. i love him

dazai is a weezer fan

chuuya is a nirvana fan

i’m terrible with names so i’m like “oh damn That Dude” both fictional and irl. like atsushi was Terrible Bang Traumatized Furry until i got his name

i don’t even read omegaverse but every time they say sigma i cringe

sigma has amnesia?? mood

bro’s a fictional character within a world of fictional characters

dostoyevsky <3333

sigma named himself??? nah don’t even he was born with an ao3 account

i don’t know shit about cosmetology but if i got ahold of sigma i would fix his hair

oh hey catholic scarlet letter man

if my beautician aunt saw atsushi and sigma she would take them out of the show, fix their hair, beat them up, and put them back as changed men

I LOVE DAZAI OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN HIS VOICE GETS SUPER LOW AND AKENSISBIZHWHXHWBZUWBZIBQIXHWNXHD

WHERE THE HELL IS CHUUYA OMFG

#bsd #shitpost

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