#but at the time the first thing he reaches for is. exhausted acceptance. it wasn't their fault. it wasn't his fault. they did their best. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novaawayne · 8 months

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I love my fans but I love more || Izuku Midoriya

pairing: pro hero! Izuku Midoriya x fem assistant! reader

summary: Izuku loves his fans but he loves you even more even if you haven't realized it yet

warnings: NSFW. Riding. Soft dom! Izuku. Pet names (bunny). Assistant x boss. Bad grammar. One bed. Fluff. A little angst(? maybe. Izuku is the sweetest men in word <3

wc: +5.4K

a/n. english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.

masterlist

Izuku was always very nice to his fans. Being the number one hero, he had an image to maintain but it never bothered him. He always had time for a photo or an autograph when someone asked him for it.

However, it was complete chaos when Izuku had an event out of town and had to stay at a hotel. Social media was always following him everywhere and there were some pretty crazy fans following Izuku's every step and quickly finding out which hotel he would be staying at.

It was so that as soon as he got out of the car, he already had a crowd around him waiting to get a photo or an autograph from their favorite hero. It was even enough for them that Izuku looked at them for a couple of seconds.

He didn't need bodyguards, he was a hero, so he didn't really need anyone to protect him unless the event they were attending assigned some.

But this was where your work came in. You were Izuku's personal assistant and you had a pretty tight schedule to keep up with. You understood that it was important to maintain an image for Izuku, so you allowed him to stay for a few minutes but if people kept stopping him with every step he took, it was you who kindly intervened, mentioning that Izuku still had things to do and they could see him another time. Maybe at the event the next day, where he would even answer a few questions.

That particular night, it had been a heavy day and a rather long and tedious flight to your destination. So it was obvious that Izuku was exhausted and needed a good eight hours of sleep from him to stay fresh for the next day.

Unfortunately, when the car stopped in front of the hotel, they saw the crowd of Izuku's fans waiting for him. The green haired boy tried to show a huge smile but it was obvious that he was really exhausted.

The only "bad" thing about the intense fans was when they harassed the poor guy. Some girls would very blatantly come on to him or reach out to touch him in inappropriate parts. A few others gave her their panties or bras. Izuku always blushed at that but in the end he accepted it somehow.

You didn't really care that Izuku had a fun night with any girl he wanted, the problem was when those girls wanted to take advantage of it. They would upload indecent photos to their social media to get more followers or blackmail Izuku to get something in return. There were few girls who really enjoyed that night and left to continue with their lives.

You gave your boss a smile and he responded in kind. So you opened the door and went out first, Izuku came out right behind you and the crowd rushed at you.

You tried to keep everyone at a fair distance and it more or less worked. But there were really a lot of people around him. You looked at your watch, you would allow it to be there for five minutes and then you would drag it if necessary.

Also, Izuku was one of the people who found it difficult to say 'no' and that night was no exception. He was really tired but still he showed a huge smile as he signed some autographs and took photos with some other people.

You made sure that everything was kept in order. You looked at your watch again, ten minutes had passed and you decided that it was enough.

"Sorry guys. Izuku has to go now but tomorrow you can see him again" you raised your voice and everyone seemed to understand.

Izuku gave you a grateful look and they both went into the hotel, where the security guard didn't allow anyone who wasn't staying to enter.

The green haired man sighed tiredly.

“Go sit while I order the rooms”

"Okay, thanks"

The man dragged his feet into the waiting room and you went to the counter, where a man was looking at his computer.

"Hello" you greeted kindly.

The man took his eyes off the computer and gave you a friendly smile.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"I have a reservation"

He looked back at the computer as he asked, “whose name is the reservation in?”

“L/N” you answered. You always said your name for Izuku's safety.

The man checked his computer.

"Oh yes" he smiled and looked at you again "a double room, is that correct?"

You frowned at him and pulled out your tablet.

"No, actually I made the reservation for two single rooms" you spoke while looking for your reservation record.

That man also looked a bit confused as he went back to check his computer.

"I'm sorry lady. Here I only have the record of a matrimonial room”

You found your record, where it actually said that you had booked two single rooms. You showed the man the tablet and he soon looked embarrassed.

"Is right. I'll call my manager to find out what happened."

"Yes, thanks"

The man left after giving you back your tablet. You started to hit the wood with your fingers and looked at Izuku who was falling asleep on the couch. Maybe you could give the room to Izuku and you would manage otherwise, besides you could just rent an extra room and the problem would be solved, but you were worried that that man seemed very concerned about that mistake. The most important thing to you was Izuku's safety and comfort.

The man from earlier returned to a smaller, chubby man with a large mustache.

"Hello Miss. My employee told me that there was an error with your reservation”

You nodded.

"Yes. But it doesn't matter, I just want one more room”

Both men looked at each other.

"I'm sorry, but due to the hero event starting tomorrow, we don't have any more rooms available," he explained.

You looked at him worried and a little annoyed. It was they who made the mistake not you.

"Not a room? It doesn't matter if it's the most expensive or the cheapest”.

The first man who answered you looked at his computer but quickly denied it.

"Very sorry. We can give you a fifty percent discount coupon for your next visit”

“I don't need a coupon” You didn't want to sound upset, but you were. You felt tired and Izuku had to go to sleep immediately. "I want a room. I wasn't the one who made the mistake."

“I understand and I really apologize. In addition to the coupon, your room service will be free”

Before you could answer, Izuku was already behind you.

"Everything is alright?" he asked you, he sounded a little sleepy.

"Not really. There was an error with the reservation and they will only give us one room instead of two”

"Oh..." was all he said but he cleared his throat "well... we can share"

You didn't want to upset him. Much less when Izuku had such an important event the next day. But it was already late and you were too tired to go looking for another hotel with available rooms. Which was very complicated due to the event.

"Good" you gave up.

You finished arranging the documents with the manager and he handed you the key card. You and Izuku headed for the elevator but before you could get in, a girl approached him. She looked very shy as she kept her gaze downcast and her cheeks were an intense red color. She was wearing a pastel pink skirt that was too short for her along with a white top.

Izuku gave you an all-okay look so you stayed a bit away while they talked. You didn't hear his words, but you did catch how your boss's neck turned red. You were already getting an idea of the conversation they were having and you felt a little uncomfortable.

It was obvious that Izuku might need to relax somehow and might want to sleep with a girl.

That girl gave him a gift bag, Izuku took it curiously but as soon as she saw its contents, even her ears turned red. They were probably panties. Those were the gifts they gave him most frequently.

You sighed tired. It was your cue to give them their space. You approached them carefully, getting their attention.

"Deku, sorry to interrupt" you cleared your throat and handed him the room access card. He took it without understanding why you were giving it to him “I just called the hotel that is two blocks from here and they have a free room. I'll go there and we can meet here first thing tomorrow morning in the lobby."

That girl got closer to Izuku, clinging to the man's shirt.

The green-haired man looks at you, trying to reflect on your words, but he wasn't able to say anything because the mysterious and pretty girl is already taking him to the elevator. You raise your hand in farewell as they leave.

You sigh tired and return to the lobby to take a seat on one of the sofas and take your laptop out of your small suitcase that you carried hanging from your shoulder to work for a while. You can't sleep there, but they won't kick you out if you're just working. Also, the guy behind the counter is still engrossed behind his computer and hasn't told you anything about not being there.

However, it's not like you could do much. Your work was complete because you never liked to leave anything to the last minute.

You stared at the screen, deciding to review for the millionth time the schedule of the next day's event. Maybe you can have a coffee along with a power drink in the morning and you will be as good as new. You would only have to take a bath and change your clothes but it is something that you would fix when the time comes.

You read the document but you had barely reached the second page when you heard the elevator doors open revealing a very tired Izuku.

They both looked at each other for a fraction of a second. Izuku hurried over and before you could react, the man had taken your laptop shut along with your suitcase and slung it over his shoulder.

"Come on, we have to rest" he said simply.

You had to run after him to the elevator without being quite sure what had happened. Once inside the metallic box, you looked at Izuku.

“Ummmm,” you stammered, “I…thought you might want some alone time with that girl.”

He looked at you with some curiosity.

"Why would you believe that?" He was genuinely curious.

You shrugged.

“It has been a stressful week, especially today. I thought…” your cheeks started to feel hot “that maybe… you would want… you know. Spend the night with someone” you muttered the last part.

You didn't dare look at him after saying that. It was a bit embarrassing. Furthermore, you had perfectly concealed your feelings towards the man. You had fallen in love with him a long time ago but you were only his assistant and he could be with beautiful models or whoever he wanted. Why would you be?

Izuku placed a hand on your head gently and shook your hair.

"Not really," he said at last. Still, you didn't dare to look at him “I just want to sleep and I'm sure you need rest too. You've done so much lately that I even feel a little guilty."

You quickly denied. He never bothered you about your work, in fact you were happy to do anything he asked of you.

"I'm fine" you assured and looked at him for the first time. Izuku noticed the decision in your eyes "I just want everything to be perfect for tomorrow and your well-being is more important to me"

The doors opened and Izuku placed a hand to stop them from closing as you walked out.

They walked down the hall and stopped in front of the door that had the number 37 on it. Izuku took out the access card and opened it. Once again, he let you go first. You immediately noticed the lights on and Izuku's suitcase on the floor.

It was quite a small room. Upon entering, there was a small corridor, to the right, in the middle of that corridor there was a door that took you to a bathroom with a shower. Further on, at the end of the small hallway, you found the double bed that took up most of the space. Opposite the bed was a chest of drawers and on the wall was a screen. In one corner was a small glass table along with two small chairs. On each side of the bed, there were two nightstands with a lamp on each. And that was it. There wasn't even much sleeping space on the floor.

Izuku carefully placed your suitcase on the floor and the laptop on the glass table.

"If you don't mind, I'll use the bathroom and then you can use it," he said.

"Oh sure. Take all the time you need".

You saw him look for something in his suitcase and then he went into the bathroom that they had passed. You sighed heavily when you heard the door close. At least the bed was big enough and they could put a barrier in the middle to avoid any awkward situation.

You took care of that before Izuku came out. You placed the pillows in the middle, leaving a little more room on your boss's side since he was bigger than you and he needed a little more space. You also pulled out an extra sheet that was stored in the dresser and reinforced the little barrier.

Proud of your work, you headed to your small suitcase to get out of your pajamas and wait for Izuku to come out.

The man came out almost immediately and was a bit puzzled to see the large divider on the bed.

“Is it okay to sleep on the left side?” You asked while looking at him.

You almost felt your heart jump out of your chest. You've seen your boss in every way there is. In his hero suit, in a suit, in his normal clothes, even in a bathing suit for some photo shoot. But this time... seeing him in his pajamas and in such an intimate situation... was strange. He wore a white shirt that fitted perfectly to his body like a second skin, making every one of his muscles stand out. His sweatpants hugged his hips perfectly even though they were dangerously low, leaving little to the imagination where a small bulge would show. He probably wasn't that little but you didn't want to think about it too much.

You stopped navigating your dirty thoughts when he spoke.

"Oh… sure" he mumbled and sat on the edge of the bed "but you used all the pillows and I really would love to have at least one under my head" it wasn't a complaint, in fact his tone was amused but for a second you had forgotten that little detail, more focused on establishing a division.

“Oh… you're right” you cleared your throat “take the pillows you want and you can keep the extra sheet as a divider. Now I'll take the bath."

You didn't wait for an answer and you ran away with all your things.

Your visit to the bathroom was quick. It was quite a nice and spacious bathroom but you didn't admire it too much. You washed your face and brushed your teeth before changing clothes. Fifteen minutes later, you had emerged from the bathroom in shorts and a rather skinny tank top. It was very hot even at night, so you wanted something light to sleep in but you never imagined that you would sleep in the same room as your boss.

Izuku had already settled on his side of the bed but he was leaning against the headboard looking at his cell phone. He turned to look at you when he heard you close the bathroom door and his cheeks began to turn a deep red as he watched you.

He chose not to say anything as he urgently looked at his cell phone but now his brain had a tattoo of you in tiny pajamas. And not only that. You would sleep next to him dressed like that.

You turned off the lights and settled on your side of the bed. The lights on the table lamps were still on.

"Good night" you muttered as you lay on your side, turning your back to Izuku.

"Good night," he murmured in the same way.

You turned off the lamp next to you and squeezed your eyes shut to try to sleep but you couldn't. A pain spread between your legs and although you squeezed your legs a bit, the image of Izuku did not disappear from your mind. The worst thing was that you had him on one side and you couldn't do anything to ease the pain.

You heard Izuku turn off his lamp and get comfortable on the bed. Maybe you could wait for him to fall asleep and ease that pain a bit.

The minutes passed and you heard your boss's soft breathing indicating that he had fallen asleep.

"Izuku?" You murmured in the dark and when you didn't get an answer you sighed with relief.

You settled on the bed and one of your hands traveled under your shirt to one of your nipples to caress it. Your other hand went to the inside of your panties where you felt all the accumulated moisture. You quickly began rubbing your clit while biting down hard on your lip to catch any kind of sound.

The mere thought of having Izuku on your side and the possibility of him getting you, turned you on even more. You rubbed harder on your clit and twisted your nipple for more stimulation.

Your whole body burned with pleasure. you were close you just needed a little more but you felt like it wasn't enough.

A moan escaped your lips and although you didn't notice it, the sound alerted Izuku. Who widened his eyes in concern but held his ground when he heard the wet sounds you were making.

His cheeks heated up and he felt his cock start to get hard. Your breaths were heavy and you could no longer control your moans. Izuku felt a bit guilty for hearing what you were doing… but it wasn't his fault that you decided to masturbate in the middle of the night.

His hand went inside his clothing and he began stroking the length of him as he imagined what you were doing. He could just flip over and remove that stupid barrier you'd tried to put up but now there was just a sheet that was probably going to be gone in the morning.

The pre-cum began to drip and he used it to lubricate all of his cock. He traced small circles with his thumb in the slit and he had to bite down hard on his cheek to keep from gasping when he heard you moan louder.

“Izu…” he heard you groan and stopped abruptly. Did you hear right? Or was it just a hallucination? Did you find out that he woke up? “Please…” you begged. Izuku got even harder if that was possible.

He wanted you. In all possible ways. You were his cute secretary that he has been in love with for some time now. He loves to masturbate while looking at a photo of the two of you together that was taken at an event two years ago, where you were wearing a suit similar to his but yours was a mini skirt, with a top that exposed your midsection and you were wearing some pretty bunny ears. Damn, I loved that photo. That day I just wanted to bend you over the interview table to fuck you in front of everyone and show them who you belonged to. But he held back.

He respected you and admired you for the hard work you did for him. But damn, how can you not fall in love with someone as perfect as you? At least, he saw you as the most perfect being that has walked the earth.

That night, when that pretty and shy girl approached him to ask if he wanted to spend the night together, he got a little confused when he saw you handing him the room card. He knew that you knew about his small encounters with his fans, because you were the one who always ended up fixing all the problems that arose later. But it had been a while since he stopped doing that, mainly because now he had you and he didn't want to betray you in any way, even though they weren't even together. His hand and your photos had been enough for some time but lately Izuku felt like he needed more.

And now, for reasons of the universe, the hotel where they were staying had only one double room that they would have to share. It could be better?

When that girl took him to the elevator, they stopped at a random floor and he explained that he wasn't interested in her. He even returned the pretty panties she had given him in a gift bag.

That girl seemed sad, even a little upset but she went back to her room with her friends. Izuku for his part, went to the room to leave his things and go looking for you. He knew there wouldn't be any rooms available and he knew you wouldn't risk going out so late at night, so he was relieved to see you at the front desk in front of your computer.

Returning to the present.

Izuku continued to pump his cock as he listened to you moan his name like it was some kind of mantra. He loved it. You were driving him crazy.

"Ugh" you complained. Your hand was not enough.

Izuku felt a bit bold and decided to speak ignoring the possibility that things between you two might not be the same again.

"Do you need a little help, bunny?" He asked.

You froze in place. Izuku had discovered you? You noticed that you had no longer held back your moans due to the intense pleasure that consumed you.

"Bunny?" He tried again.

fuck it You needed it.

"Yes, please" you murmured.

In a second, you felt the bed move a bit and Izuku was on top of you. His intense eyes looked at you with hunger willing to make you feel good.

You lifted your hands to his cheeks and raised your head to capture his lips. Izuku accepted it immediately.

You couldn't think about your actions, not when you desperately need to relieve your arousal. For a second, you even thought it was a dream.

It was a rough and needy kiss but Izuku tried to do it a little more gently to lengthen the moment. he didn't want to wake up the next day and have you think this was a one night stand. No. He wanted to make it clear to you that he loved you much more than that.

He put a hand under your waist and turned them so that you were sitting on his waist. You looked down at him for a moment while you controlled his breathing.

"You are so beautiful" Izuku spoke in a whisper "can I touch you?"

You nodded. It was all you needed.

Izuku made himself comfortable by sitting against the headboard and bringing his hands to your waist. His calloused fingers ran over your soft, warm skin very carefully. For one of the strongest and most powerful men in the world, it was surprising how soft he was.

Slowly he raised your little tank top until it was removed from your body. There was nothing below and for a moment he was mesmerized by the sight of you. You almost get embarrassed but he didn't give you enough time because Izuku grabbed your waist again with force and leaned forward to put one of your tits in his mouth. You gasped as your back arched and your hands went to his hair.

That felt so good. You needed more from Izuku. Much more.

He did the same on both sides, licking and sucking on your nipples as if he were a hungry man. When he finished, he began to leave a trail of kisses and marks from your chest to your neck, passing through your shoulders and up your beautiful face to end on your lips.

You moved your hips and finally realized how hard Izuku was. You didn't think much of it when you reached your hands to the hem of Izuku's shirt to lift it up. You broke away from him gasping and he helped you remove the garment.

It was your turn to admire it from your place. It was beautiful. Izuku blushed a little embarrassed, thinking that maybe you would find it unpleasant to see all the scars that adorned his body. But it was not the case.

You bit your lower lip gently and took your fingers to his chest to trace one of the scars. Izuku sighed at the action. Your fingers were soft and gentle and he liked that.

You leaned in as you took his cheeks and gently kissed his lips. Izuku put his hands on your hips and his kiss began to deepen more and more.

Both had the urge to feel each other's body more and more. They parted after a moment with ragged breaths. But you quickly leaned in to kiss Izuku's neck and he couldn't help but moan when you got to that sweet spot that was driving him crazy. You started to go lower and lower and when he realized what you were going to do, he stopped you while he panted. It took a lot of courage for him not to give in to his pleasure.

"Wait" he murmured "tonight... I wish you would ride me" his cheeks were bright red "I want to feel you squeeze me"

You agreed. You would do anything to make him feel good.

The rest of both of their clothes disappeared in a second and you placed yourself on top of Izuku's cock. You gently took it in your hand and rubbed it against your wet cunt. They both groaned. Izuku squeezed your hips hard, silently asking you to end his suffering.

"Please, bunny," he stammered, "please, I need you so bad."

Seeing him below you and also hearing him beg made you reach your limit. You placed a hand on his shoulder for balance and began to slowly lower yourself. They both gasped as they tried to get used to the sensation.

Izuku was breathing heavily, probably trying with all his might not to cum right then. Your soft walls were so warm and hugged him so tightly he was about to lose his mind. He leaned forward to suck on your nipple.

You still couldn't get used to the size of him. Izuku had a really big cock and he was stretching you in a way you didn't know was possible. There was pain and pleasure combined that made your eyes sting from the tears that trickled down your cheeks.

It wasn't long before you started moving your hips. Izuku pressed his fingers more on your skin but he didn't stop licking and sucking on your nipple.

"That's it bunny" Izuku spoke as he pulled away "you feel so good. You are so beautiful"

You couldn't think. The compliments were going through your head.

You brought a hand to your clit to rub it but Izuku removed your hand and they both looked into each other's eyes for a moment.

"Let me do it" he asked "let me make you feel good"

You couldn't talk. Izuku's cock inside you was making a complete fool of you. You just nodded.

Izuku stuck two fingers inside your mouth that you filled with drool and licked like it was a delicious candy. As Izuku pulled his fingers from him, he brought them to your already sensitive clit to rub.

Your mind went blank. You could only feel the pleasure that Izuku was granting you at that moment and that was it.

Izuku kept telling you how well you were doing as he began to set the pace himself. With his great strength, you were probably lighter than a feather. You were like a rag doll to him and you just wanted him to use you however he wanted.

"Izu..." you gasped "please... I want you to cum inside me"

The very thought made Izuku almost come on the spot but he tried to hold on a little longer.

"Are you sure?" he asked you.

"Yes, yes please. I need it so much"

The pounding of skin against skin echoed throughout the room along with their gasps and moans. They were both close but Izuku wasn't going to cum until you did.

"I'm going to…"

"Yes, bunny. Cum on my dick. You make a mess"

And that you did. A loud moan escaped your lips but Izuku didn't stop his thrusts and he didn't stop screaming at your clit, causing you to be overstimulated.

"Bunny" Izuku groaned "I'm close too. Please tell me that you really want me to cum inside you."

Your walls tightened around his cock.

"Please Izuku. I want your sperm inside me" you managed to say when you started to come down from your cloud "I want it to slip between my legs even tomorrow so that the whole world can see who I belong to"

Your words drove him completely crazy and the mere image of you, with his own semen dripping from your beautiful legs made him cum instantly.

They both breathed heavily. You flopped onto Izuku's chest as he caressed your back. They were both sweaty and sticky but that didn't matter right now.

"Come on bunny" Izuku spoke softly "let me clean up this mess a bit"

You nodded, but your eyes were closed and you had no strength to move. Izuku was warm and you didn't want to be separated from him.

He smiled when he realized it and continued leaving soft caresses on your back. In the end you woke up while letting out a deep sigh and fell on the bed.

Izuku stood up to put on his underwear and ran to the bathroom. He came back with a wet towel to clean you up a bit. Immediately he took a bottle of water that was on the glass table and asked you to drink a little.

It seemed like a dream and you never wanted it to end. Izuku helped you put on his shirt so you could cover yourself up a bit and then he arranged the covers over your body. Immediately he settled on his side of the bed and looked at the ceiling for a moment before speaking.

“Can I… can I snuggle with you?” He asked you. His cheeks felt hot with embarrassment.

You let out a laugh and it was you who approached him to lie on his chest. Izuku sighed in relief and hugged you, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Just so you know… I love my fans but I love you much more”

"I love you very much too, Izu"

He smiled. They were the only words he needed to hear.

I'm not really sure what this is but I'm practicing my smut writing a bit. I hope you liked it even a little <3

#bnha x reader #izuku fluff #mha izuku #izuku x reader #izuku smut #midoriya izuku #bnha izuku #midoriya smut #izuku midoriya #bnha midoriya #Deku #deku fluff #bnha deku #deku x reader #MHA #bnha

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crazycookies73307 · 3 months

Text

They were just friends.

Or so they told everyone else. But it was quite obvious that there was something between them. A spark of sorts, a small what-if. Almost like an untold assurance that if one was to make the first move, they would not be denied.

They couldn't see it for themselves, but it was quite easily picked up by their mutual friend groups. How their personalities complemented each other so well, how one was always aware of what the other was doing despite being apart for a while.

How they always managed to bring up the other in their daily routines. How one couldn't possibly do without the other, after all everything else is so dull compared to them.

But still, they were just friends.

You wanted to believe that, truly you did. But how could you?

Not when you could see for yourself that there was something in the future for them, and that something was more than a friendship.

It was the start of something beautiful, something so endearing that anyone would love to see what the future held for them.

And you would have felt the same way, hell, you do feel that way sometimes, had it not been for the fact that you wanted him for yourself.

It was not his fault, no.

He was amazing.

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman.

For all his tough talk, he had the softest of hearts.

And maybe, that's why you fell for him.

You would love for it to be a cliche, and say that you didn't know when your feelings for him started, but you knew.

You knew exactly when your boundaries becam blurred.

And no, it wasn't when you first saw him. Yeah, you thought he was quite cute, anyone with eyes would. But that's it. You were strangers that circumstances just threw together. Somehow you two became friends, despite the both of you being kinda awkward in your ways.

What began as an acquaintanceship, slowly,but surely grew to be a friendship.

Sadly enough, your feelings had already taken a turn for another destination by the time you reached the point of friendship.

You knew you were screwed when you woke up one day and felt something else in your heart. A tiny little seed of excitement or was it apprehension? about the things yet to come.

Having had crushes before, you knew, that it was the beginning of yet another exhausting journey. But this one crush, if you can call if that, turned out to be different from all the ones before.

The feelings involved didn't come out of nowhere, you knew exactly when and how it started to develop.

He wasn't anything like your usual crushes, but you couldn't stop thinking about him.

There were no butterflies in your stomach, you had heart palpitations instead.

You didn't crave his attention, you were simply happy to be in his presence.

And most of all, you didn't want him to be yours. Not when his happiness lay with someone else; even if he wasn't aware of it himself.

Your feelings weren't rushed, they came slow, building themselves up from a solid foundation of who you knew him to be. This time, you didn't idolize him, instead accepted him for what he was, a flawed human being.

Flaws or no flaws, you felt safe when he was there with you. As if nothing could ever go wrong,nothing could ever harm you, as long as you were with him.

And that sense of safety, you knew, was part of why you fell for him.

You would love to say that you fell for reasons unknown, for the sake of sounding romantic, but you knew yourself better than anyone.

You were independent, the one who was always the one caring for everyone else, and so you knew, the fact that he cared for your well being was one of the major factors why you fell for him. In fact, you could swear that that it was when he first displayed that specific trait that your feelings took a turn for the worst.

For the first time in your life, your crush stemmed from something other than superficial stuff. It was his character that attracted you to him, and as you began to know him better, his character was what made you fall.

You have always been good at observing people, but you were particularly good at reading him like an open book.

A tic in the jaw? Yeah he's annoyed.

He's not humming? Something's on his mind.

His foot is tapping? He's stressed.

A dead expression? Oh, he's furious. God save anyone who gets in his way.

He tended to be short tempered sometimes, had an indecisive streak and didn't for the love of anything, know to say no.

He came off to be tough, but had a weakness for all things cute,whether be it cute kids or cats or even toys. He wanted to come across as a kind of a tough guy, and he was, as far as physical strength was concerned, but as far as his heart was concerned?

He was the softest guy on earth.

He was also an introvert at heart, for all his attempts at being extroverted. He helped anyone who was going through a tough time, but never asked for help himself.

It was by a complete coincidence that you found that he had some issues with his family that he was dealing with. Nothing too major, but still. You then became the only one to know of his hard times. Obviously, he didn't tell you everything, but you never pushed him to reveal everything. You never mentioned the topic again and never teased or even comment on them again after your talks. So maybe that's why he continued to tell you the kind of stuff that he never did to others, you listened and comforted but never forced him to do anything. As said earlier, he hated asking for help, and he would rather not think about his few moments of weakness.

That's the one part of him that you could proudly say belonged to you, and not her.

She was a new addition to his friend group, just as you were. But their friendship was on a whole different level compared to yours.

He never compared, he never let anyone feel left out but that didn't mean that you didn't compare yourself to her.

You wanted to hate her, but you were mature enough to know that blaming others for no reason was of no use at all. So you didn't. And somehow in the process of not hating her, you grew close with her as well.

You locked away your feelings in the deepest chambers of your heart, hoping, wishing, praying that no one ever finds out. Still, you hope that one day maybe, just maybe your feelings will ge returned.

You play your part, shipping them together with the rest of of your friends, until you started to believe yourself that maybe they were meant to be after all.

You want to get rid of the ache in your chest whenever you see them together. It feels like you're stabbing yourself everytime you tease them. But, you still continue to do so anyways.

After all, what better way to hide your own desires than to completely destruct them?

Regardless of your attempts, the feelings didn't fade, but now the ever present ache is such a huge part of you that it would be weird for it to not be there.

Others came your way, that he never came to know of, but were rejected. Dating for the sake of dating was never your thing anyways.

You still hope, in your heart of hearts that he comes to you. But that's a dream that's never going to be fulfilled. That's the one dream that you hope you'll give up on soon.

After all, isn't it better that he's in your life as a friend rather than to completely lose him forever?

You would gladly let yourself be there for him for as long as he needed you to, and be content living in the memories you shared. After all, even if fate decides to take you two through different paths in life, he'll still be with you, in the sense that he was the first guy you ever truly wanted for yourself.

The one who earned the right to be called your first love, despite the two of you never actually being involved.

Still, he was the one who helped you to form a definition for the word 'love' for the first time, and that too, in the purest form possible.

So that's what he will forever be to you, your first love.

AN:

Part two for anyone interested! (Fluffy)

Fair warning though, people who read this fic for the angst will be kinda disappointed cuz this particular part 2 is a fluffy one. Well, in comparison to this one anyways.

I'm planning on an angst part 2 as well, for those interested, but we'll see how it goes.

#haikyuu x reader #angst #iwaizumi x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #osamu miya x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime #osamu miya #osamu miya drabble #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou

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cafelattaes · 4 months

Text

death by a thousand cuts | njm

summary : in which you find yourself watching as jaemin gradually becomes out of reach; forcing you to confront the painful reality that your story is heading towards an inevitable end, even if you’re not ready to admit it.

pairing : jaemin x fem! reader

genre : college au, angst

word count : 2.5k

playlist : the last time, you’re losing me, sad beautiful tragic

in your dimly lit room, the blue light from your phone screen cast a cold hue as you stared at the last message you received from jaemin. you had been seeing the same words for what felt like an eternity, as if they were mocking you, each repetition intensifying the sense of heartache and resignation you felt.

'i’ll be right back'

you let out a heavy sigh, carrying the burden of disappointment and frustration. a week had passed in the blink of an eye, and his silence felt louder than ever. you were stuck in a cycle of waiting, hoping things would change with each passing moment.

jaemin’s words had become an echo of broken promises. it wasn't the first time, but the disappointment still hurt. you glanced at the screen, feeling a mix of emotions. the exhaustion of always being the only one begging for effort and acknowledgement bore down on you. with a heavy heart, you set your phone down, facing the reality that you needed to let go of the relationship that no longer served you.

paper cuts had turned into gashes. the resentment over small things, continuously dismissed thinking they weren't significant enough, had boiled over, sending you to your gradual demise.

FIVE MONTHS AGO

'hey jaem, are you doing something right now? i miss you :('

‘i’m sorry, baby. i'm not done with my cases and research yet. also we’re studying for upcoming exams’

‘oh, okay. no worries! make sure to get enough rest when you’re home.’

‘you too, love’

a twinge of sadness and disappointment crept into your heart. while you understood the gravity of jaemin's aspirations and the difficult nature of dating a medical student, the challenges of your on-and-off relationship lingered. this was the longest you had gone through with jaemin without breaking up. resisting the urge to let past grievances resurface, you chose to keep most of your emotions to yourself, knowing that voicing them out was not going to make anything better and would only add to his stress. you didn't want to burden jaemin with your feelings or ignite conflicts during a time where his focus needed to be on his studies.

you busied yourself by scrolling through your phone and randomly navigating your friends' instagram stories. jeno's post grabbed your attention, featuring a group picture that included your boyfriend. however, your focus shifted when you noticed eunbin among the faces. her connection with jaemin as his childhood friend, as well as her evident feelings for him even before you entered the picture, weighed on your mind. you felt a bit uneasy thinking about the situation. you wondered if her being around might bring back unresolved feelings or make things even more complicated for you and jaemin.

you tossed your phone on the bed, redirecting your attention to something else to shake off the sudden drop in mood. even though you didn't want to feel jealous of eunbin, it was hard not to. she liked your boyfriend and confessed to him before you got together. despite his reassurances and the clear boundaries he set, a pang of jealousy still remained. you had to accept eunbin's role as one of his closest friends, a constant presence in his life. there was not much you could do to change it.

after a long day of busying yourself to focus more on your academic life, you felt your phone buzz with a text message from jaemin.

‘hey! are you free today? let’s go on a date :) i miss you a lot.’

‘sorry, im too tired to go out these days. i just want to rest after spending so much time studying’

‘oh no baby :( it’s fine. do you want anything? we can just stay and laze around all day in your place instead. but only if you want to’

‘okay’

an hour later, you heard a buzz at your door, and there was jaemin, wearing a smile and holding some of your favorite snacks. you took them from him as he settled into your place. while you prepared the food, jaemin came up from behind, giving you a hug and planting a gentle kiss on the back of your head. he then rested his chin on your shoulder.

"we don't see each other a lot these days. i missed you so much," your heart tightened, a sudden rush of longing and sadness enveloping you. you missed him a lot too. since you got back together, you've been suppressing a lot of your thoughts to avoid another breakup. however, the past few months have been challenging, and you felt like even the smallest thing might cause you to break down emotionally.

“i missed you too,” you whispered in reply.

jaemin was not clueless. you've been together for more than two years and he could easily sense if there was something off about you. he noticed that you began to distance yourself from him. your responses to his messages were brief and dry, picking up on the growing disconnection. he, too, was afraid to bring it up, opting to ignore the underlying problems that had been bothering both of you for a while. he would rather pretend as if everything was fine than risk a conversation and face the possibility of losing you again.

he feared that if you two were to break up once more, it might truly be the end. a sharp stab of pain coursed through his chest with that thought.

THREE MONTHS AGO

you were starting to fall asleep when your peace was suddenly interrupted by your phone ringing. noticing it was a call from mark, you answered.

‘mark?’

‘hey, y/n, sorry to bother you. can you pick jaemin up?’

‘huh? where?’

‘we’re at a bar right now, i’ll text you the address. i can’t bring all of us home and i also drank a little. hope you don’t mind.’

‘yeah, it’s fine. i’ll be on my way.’

‘thanks y/n.’

you left your place once you received the address from mark. you arrived at the bar a little later, scanning the place for the familiar group of guys. you spotted mark, struggling to separate himself from haechan's grasp.

“hey.”

“oh, y/n, you’re here.” jeno waved at you. “jaemin, your girlfriend’s here.” jeno shook him violently, prompting him to get up.

“y/n, did you know? jaemin said that you’ve been-“ haechan groaned in pain as mark slapped his back to stop him from talking.

“you guys should go. jaemin is dead drunk, he almost fell asleep on the bathroom.”

“alright, we’re off. you guys take care on your way home.” you bid farewell to them as you held jaemin for support.

the night air was cool as you stepped outside, hailing for a cab. after some effort, you managed to get him inside, settling into the backseat. jaemin was mostly asleep on the ride home. despite some difficulty getting him out and bringing him to your place, you eventually managed to settle him on the couch. you took off his shoes before getting a damped towel and offering him a glass of water.

“jaemin, do you need anything?” you asked him quietly while wiping his face with the towel. he was silent for a while as you helped him into a more comfortable position.

“you’ve been spending a lot of time with eric,” he murmured. you raised your eyebrows in confusion. you’ve only seen the guy twice this week for some club related-activities.

“stop seeing him, or he might get the wrong idea.”

oh.

jaemin had mentioned before that he didn't like eric, claiming that whenever you two took a break, the latter guy saw it as an opportunity to make a move on you. however, jaemin misinterpreted eric's intention, being one of your friends who comforted you during your breakups. while he hinted at liking you at some point, he respected your boundaries and never attempted to cross the line. all your friends knew that jaemin was the center of your world, even at times when you were supposed to forget about him.

“we’ll talk about that tomorrow when you’re sobered up. you need to get some rest now.” you said, standing up to get him a pillow and a blanket. however, he held your wrist, pulling you back to sit on the couch.

“you’ve changed…” he uttered out of the blue, and a sigh escaped your lips. jaemin had a tendency to ramble when he was drunk. it seemed best to let him express whatever was on his mind.

"you used to make time for me, no matter how busy you got. you always found a way for us to spend time together, even when i was swamped with tasks. but now... you're not as affectionate as before and it feels like you love me a little less. you don't get mad, and you don't seem to care even when i try to ignore you on purpose to get your attention. are you getting sick of me?"

your breath shuddered at his sudden confession. it seemed like the first time jaemin was the first to address your situation while being completely honest about his feelings. it never even crossed your mind that he was ignoring you intentionally. up until now, you had always been the one initiating the difficult conversations. every time you bared your soul, hoping jaemin would make things right, it often ended up having the opposite effect. despite his attempts to take your feelings into consideration and provide solace and affirmations, the impact seemed to fade after a few days, leaving you feeling unheard. eventually, you started to question yourself if you were maybe asking for too much. so you stopped trying, which was the turning point that led to your last breakup.

when jaemin asked to get back together, you couldn't bring yourself to refuse, just like all those times you had taken him back before. despite of the emotional turmoil in your relationship, your love for jaemin remained unwavering. being with him, even with the fights and his occasional neglect, felt a thousand times better than not being with him at all. but now, you weren't sure if you could still bear the pain that came with loving him. a sense of uncertainty settled heavily in your heart, feeling a lump formed in your throat.

“you can’t blame me for getting tired when it feels like i’m the only one trying,” your tears began to flow freely, feeling overwhelmed as all your frustrations and hurt hit you all at once. “you keep saying you love me, but your actions say otherwise. i’ve grown sick of showing my love while not seeing you put in the same effort as i do. sometimes, i want to ask if you still love me the way you once did. because if there’s anyone who changed, jaemin, it’s you. you stopped trying the moment our relationship became too comfortable.” you wiped your tears, the sound of muffled sobs echoing in the silence.

“you have no idea how much i’ve been bottling up my feelings. the pain that has built over these years of being with you is suffocating. i want to let out my frustrations, scream at you, and demand your attention, especially when you seem to have time for everyone else but me. even though i know how busy you can get, i can't help but find it unfair, because for you, i would drop everything. i’ve been keeping count of all the times you claimed to be too occupied to be there for me when i needed you the most, only for me to find out that you were hanging out with your friends. your world doesn’t have to revolve around me, but i just want to feel that i still hold a place in your life.”

jaemin's glassy eyes remained fixed on you. even in his intoxicated state, he became acutely aware of all the things he had done wrong in the relationship and the impact it had on you. he had always played it safe, choosing to overlook the signs and letting you suffer on your own. he didn't realize the gravity of the damage he had inflicted on the person he claimed to love. it broke his heart taking in how far he had allowed things to go. with tears streaming down his face, his hand reached out for you.

“i’m so sorry i made you feel that way… i’m sorry for everything,” he whispered in remorse, drawing you into his arms. closing his eyes, he kissed your forehead tenderly as a silent plea for forgiveness. his chest felt heavy with the weight of regret as the painful reality sank in. he wished he could shelter you from every mistake he had ever made.

“i don’t want your apology. i just want us to go back to the way things were before.” your words carried the weight of longing for the happiness that once defined your relationship.

but the air was thick with unspoken truth. you both knew, that no matter what happens now, the two of you can no longer return to how things used to be.

PRESENT

three weeks had passed since the last time you and jaemin spoke. despite sharing tears together that night he got drunk, not much had changed. jaemin became cautious, and you were left wondering whether he would do something to alter the state of your relationship, considering you already said your piece. yet, it appeared that both of you had silently acknowledged the reality that there was little you could do, having allowed things to reach a point beyond saving.

you found yourselves in a tug-of-war, each waiting for the other to end the relationship. however, you hoped he would be the one to pull the trigger this time, because he never made an attempt to ask you to stay. if you were the one to do it, you feared weakness might overcome you if he were to return again. so, you wished for him to take the decisive step to allow you to truly feel that everything was over for both of you. yet, deep down, a small part of you remained hopeful that he would defy your expectations and fight for what was left.

but even when it came down to it, jaemin couldn't muster the courage to call it quits. in your mind, you were begging him not to leave you like this. after everything you had been through together, he couldn't possibly walk away without saying anything.

but as the hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the truth of the matter set in; you must move on to the next phase of your life without reaching a conclusion to the final chapter of your story. until the very end, jaemin couldn't find the words to cut the ties that bound you. instead, he chose the easy way out, one that was hard only for you, leaving behind a heartbreak that time alone couldn't mend and abandoning you to tend to the pieces of your shattered self.

you were left with no choice but to miss him for the rest of your life, each passing moment a reminder of the void he left behind.

#jaemin scenario #jaemin imagine #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #nct dream fic #nct dream angst #jaemin angst #jaemin x fem reader #nct dream x reader #jaemin fanfic #na jaemin #nct dream imagines #nct fic #nct dream

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cherryxblossxms · 9 months

Text

Masturbation May - Day 8a: First Thing in the Morning (Diavolo)

A/N: Diavolo was suggested by @vampnyx! Sometimes the demon prince just needs to cum ten or twenty times, he can't help how needy he is for his lover :) sorry that it's clearly not May anymore, inspiration hits when it's least expected

Featuring: GN reader || Diavolo x reader

Warnings: masturbation (technically lol); somnophilia??, groping and humping of reader's body but reader gave prior consent; cumshot/cumming on reader's body, some human kink, size kink and a little size difference, dirty talk with a lil degradation, light descriptions of reader's body but not very specific, hinting at continuation of sex with reader at the end; not proofread jafkljsdf

Word count: 2406

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Diavolo was insatiable, and honestly it should have been obvious from the start. He was a massive, powerful demon, coming from a long line of strong warriors stretching back millenia. It existed in his blood, a need to breed and carry on his bloodline. His strength was incredible, so it was only logical that his stamina would match, needing to power his body longer than the average demon.

Unfortunately for you, his human lover, that stamina also transferred to the bedroom. There were plenty of nights that he spent loving you as gently as he could, but it easily lasted all night long, leaving you exhausted and unable to move by the end of it. It came to a point that you had to put a cap on the number of times he could make you cum, otherwise you'd never be able to do anything, bedbound multiple times a week because your boyfriend's game was too good. Of course, Diavolo was very proud of this fact, but he did his best to keep his glee down as he accepted your conditions.

Diavolo appreciated you working out a compromise with him. He definitely didn't blame you, the last thing he wanted was to make you upset or accidentally hurt you. Your sweet, fragile human body could only take so much, he needed to handle you carefully and he wanted to treat you the way you deserved. So he took what he could get, easily reaching the quota you'd set every time he made love to you, getting every last possible drop of cum from you before he either met his restriction or you passed out from exhaustion.

Oftentimes, that meant that Dia was still aching for more long after you'd fallen asleep beside him, your body thoroughly pleasured and showing signs of his love on you, including dark hickeys and the occasional bruise. Tonight was no different, and unfortunately, your visage was only making him hungrier for you, desperate for your touch once more. Diavolo decided to try to sleep off his lust, letting his mind drift to what he hoped would be sweeter, more innocent dreams. But luck clearly wasn't on his side.

Even in his dreams, he couldn't seem to escape his desire.

You both had passed out in the early morning, and Diavolo woke just a few hours later, coming out of a delicious dream not much different from what you two had been doing the night prior. Without looking down, he knew he was already hard again and tenting the sheets, still feeling the lingering phantom feel of your lips on his body, could see your body above him as you rode him at your own leisurely pace and remembered the slick, tight squeeze of your core wrapped around his dick. It never failed to amaze him how well you took his length and rode him like a champ, even going so far as to haunt him deliciously in his subconscious.

Now here he was, standing at attention, already leaking like a faucet and raring to go but knowing your body was likely still exhausted from earlier. It wasn't the first time this happened, so luckily, you'd already sorted out a plan with your needy lover. When Dia was feeling insatiable but your quota was met, you'd allow him to still use you afterwards, even while sleeping. Of course, you knew you wouldn't be able to take him fully like that, he was still a challenge to take even while awake. But most everything else was on the table, with prior discussion.

Diavolo liked to try to rein himself in where he could, even with this allowance, but the remnants of his dream were making his blood run hot, and all he ached for was your touch in the morning light. He scooted closer to your body, where you lay turned away, giving him a nice view of your back and buttocks where the sheets were slipping away. You were thoroughly marked up, little bites showing especially on your hips and the fat of your ass that weren't helping his raging boner.

He couldn't help but lean forward to kiss your back, his hand slinking down to finally relieve the pressure in his groin. He used the generous pre-cum leaking from his slit as lube, spreading it across his shaft for less friction. As he twisted his wrist, he was kissing and nibbling on your flesh, enjoying the way goosebumps rose on your skin in response. He could hear you softly whine and wondered if he was becoming part of your dreams, like you had for his.

Before long, his hips started to thrust forward, in search of more stimulation. His hand was never enough, not now that he had you. And it was like a forbidden fruit dangling in front of him, being able to see and feel your lovely body, but knowing he couldn't do all that he wanted right now. He could wake you up, see if you were OK to continue on, but he hated disturbing your rest.

After a moment of deliberating, he helped lower you forward against the bed, your arms automatically coming up in your sleep for better comfort. He straddled your hips now, taking a moment to admire your body, all the curves and angles he'd long since memorized and smothered in his love. He reached a hand down to gently squeeze your ass, then continued stroking his shaft with his other hand, just recalling to memory the feel of your body against his last night. He imagined taking you now, prone against the sheets, caging you in so you can only hold on for dear life as he filled you again and again. You always did make the best noises when you were at his whim, just a slave to his passionate thrusts.

Diavolo didn’t even realize his eyes had shut, giving in to his pleasure and imagining it was you he was fucking instead of his fist. He couldn’t see, then, the precum he was leaking on you, dirtying you in his lust. But occasionally, he did bump against your body, accidentally at first before starting to do it intentionally, his frenulum rubbing just right against your asscheeks to add to his pleasure.

The plush of your ass and the warmth and softness of your skin helped him along, and before he knew it, he was chanting under his breath. He wasn't very vocal in terms of moans or whimpers, usually grunting in his effort at the most. But he made up for it in talking to you, loved describing in explicit detail how your body squeezed his cock, how he loved watching your eyes roll back as you came for him over and over, how he couldn't wait to mark you with his seed, either inside or out.

"Ffffuck, my love, you feel so good," he panted out, the filthy, slick fapping sounds of his fist filling the air as his hand moved faster. "Love your sweet little human body, how soft you are, how pliant. Such a good little human for me."

As if in response, your hips raised a little, almost like you wanted to present yourself to him, and he certainly didn't miss that. It gave Diavolo a better angle to work with, easier to bump against you.

"Oh? Are you dreaming of me, my love? Are you dreaming of me taking you like this, like my own little fuck toy?" Although you still didn't wake, Dia could see just enough of your face to notice your expression twisted. It was looking very similar to the expression you gave him when he'd thoroughly turned you on and you were just waiting for the moment he'd grant mercy and finally make you cum.

In his lust, he forgot he wasn't trying to wake you, had intended to simply use you a little as encouragement to pleasure himself, but the way your body almost seemed to submit to him now was driving him crazy. He stopped stroking his cock for a moment to grab your ass cheeks, backing up a little and spreading them to get a good look at your core, your now exposed hole already clenching as if in anticipation of his body, your arousal obvious. Oh it was a fight not to take you then and there.

"And look how needy you are, clenching around nothing," he continued. As he kept you spread open, he sandwiched his cock between your cheeks, his abundant precum working well as lubricant as he slowly started to thrust. "You say you're exhausted but it looks like you're already ready for me. You look like I could just slide right in, and you wouldn't even wake up. What do you think of that?"

Of course, you didn't respond, and he didn't expect you to. Really, he had no intention of actually doing that. Your rules were clear when you'd allowed him this much: no penetration, at least not involving his dick specifically, and the last thing he ever wanted to do was destroy your trust or hurt you. But just letting his imagination run wild was enough to fuel his building climax, and the dirty speech simply helped.

He could hear the soft repetitive plap as his large balls tapped against you, and he remembered taking you in this exact position many times in the past. In fact, it was one of his favorites, second only to mating press. Something about it let him reach a particularly deep spot in you, where your legs had jolted every time his cockhead kissed it the first time you two tried it, pulling out a mewl from your lips as he abused this new knowledge. And of course, he was always enamored with how deep he could cum inside you that way, too. You hadn't been able to walk by the end of it, limbs trembling and brain full of mush for longer than usual afterwards, and Dia was obsessed with it.

As he continued thrusting, his strong fingertips still holding your hips and ass up against him, he imagined it now, wishing so deeply he could be buried inside you again. He could feel his climax rising up quickly, and wanted more than anything to empty himself in you. But he settled for a backshot as his pleasure crested, accidentally shoving his weight forward as his balls clenched, just moments before hot ropes of cum shot out. He quickly righted himself, moving back to stroking his throbbing cock with one hand, his free hand squeezing your ass cheek and exposing your hole again, just in time to cum across your ass and your opening as well.

Diavolo was breathing heavily, heartbeat thumping throughout his body, and he gave himself a moment to settle down before looking at his handiwork. It was filthy and gorgeous all the same time, his precious seed covering your skin and dripping down your ass. Something in him wanted to always see you like this, mark you in his seed whenever he could, as unfeasible as it was. However, he couldn’t help but curse as the post nut clarity hit hard, realizing what a mess he made and knowing he’d have to still clean you up, too. He was a prince and a gentleman, after all, he couldn’t just leave you like this.

Diavolo was sure he was much less than quiet in the act, but now that he was hyper-aware of himself again, he was trying to determine how to quietly remove himself to fetch a washcloth for you. However, a soft giggle alerted him, and he looked over to see you looking back at him over your shoulder, a dreamy smile on your face. Your eyes were droopy, trying to blink the sleep out of them yet, but it was clear you knew exactly what happened. Dia couldn’t help it as his face heat up, feeling like he’d been caught in the act even though you’d already given him the okay to start with.

“I thought my dreams were getting pretty horny suddenly. Did you have fun?” you asked, your voice still a little groggy.

Your lover cleared his throat, moving off of your body to give you some space once more.

“I think you’re asking something you already know the answer to, my love,” he chided, and you giggled again. He glanced over at you, his gaze apologetic as he reached out to stroke your face. “Sorry for waking you. Just give me a moment and I will get you cleaned up, then you can go back to sleep.”

You smiled at his touch, before wiggling your hips and kissing his hand, sneaking your tongue out to lick one of his fingers suggestively. That caught Diavolo’s attention, particularly that of his flagging cock as the blood immediately started to rush south for the second time this morning.

“Careful, love, I’m still feeling insatiable this morning, and I know you must be exhausted. You’re really poking the beast.” His tone was warning, but his twitching cock was calling to you, regardless, hopeful for more.

You hummed, taking one of his fingers into your mouth and suckling. Diavolo’s breath hitched as he felt your tongue swirl around the digit, and he was speechless as your mouth popped off of him suddenly, a thin thread of saliva connecting you still.

“Well, maybe I’ve recovered a little and want to see some more of this beast, how about that? Besides, you went and got me all turned on too, getting all handsy like that.” Diavolo couldn’t refute that, he had definitely pushed the boundaries of your agreement. “Maybe if you help me clean off in the bath, we can see just how much more I can take.”

Diavolo was quick to gather you into his arms after that, barely taking a moment to wrap a sheet around you to protect from wandering eyes as he rushed off towards the royal baths. It was almost comical the way his cock bobbed as he practically ran off, and if he wasn’t next in line for the throne, he’d be a laughingstock in the court. But when it came to you, there was much Diavolo was more than willing to put up with; he could handle a little humiliation so long as he had you.

You were truly going to be the death of him.

#diavolo x reader #obey me diavolo #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #diavolo smut #spicy minx 🔥#the minx can write ✍️#cant believe i forgot to mention size kink

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voxmortuus · 10 months

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Please could you do Will Graham x fem reader where she's kidnapped by him but he treats her so well? Like he is madly in love w her and even tho she doesn't like being kidnapped, she accepts her reality and starts to get along well with Will? And he's happy because maybe she can start feeling the same that him.

Smut and fluffy/angsty please! I love your work

►PAIRING: Will Graham X F!Reader ►UNIVERSE: Hannibal ►WORDS: 1.1k ►SUMMARY/PROMPT: See Above. ►SONG INSPIRATION: Obsessed by Elle Lexxa ►TRIGGER WARNINGS: Angsty Reader | Fluffy Will | Unprotected Vaginal Penetration | Acceptance of situation - Stockholm Syndrome | I may be missing some, but you get a general idea, so please proceed with caution if there is anything in there that is overly triggering please let me know politely and I will make sure it is added to the list. ►NOTE: Hello Anon Requester and Reader. So in a previous post I had stated I will no longer be taking on Hannibal and Hannibal character requests until further notice. However, this request would finish up my series of Obsession. So for you and for the sake of finishing my series, I will fill this request and make it my third and final part of Obsession. You can read part one and part two in the links next to the masterlist. Sorry if this isn't what you expected, or had envisioned yourself, I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed my vision. ►IMAGE & DIVIDER CREDIT: @nyxvuxoa ►My Master Masterlist | Hannibal Masterlist | Obsession Pt. 1 Obsession Pt. 2

You were just as lost then as you are now. You had no idea what was happening, but you were feeling it. You were feeling it deep, this sense of acceptance over everything. Maybe Will wasn't so bad, maybe there was good to him, after all, you never wanted for anything, you never needed anything, and anything you ever desired besides escaping you've gotten. The way you take your toast with a little extra jam on the bottom corner for your first bite, or how you take your coffee with a little pinch of cinnamon in the grinds before brewing. He took note of all of this, and you never felt unsafe with him. He never hurt you. All he's ever wanted was to love you, and for you to love him and here you are questioning the very same thing.

Knocking at your door he peeks in and looks at you with such a kind loving smile. "Good morning. How did you sleep?" He asks you.

Nodding you give a small smile tucking some hair away from your face. "I slept alright, thank you. Coffee? Maybe I can, I don't know, join you for breakfast this time instead of eating in here? The room is starting to smell like breakfast lunch and dinner." You give a small smile and a soft chuckle.

Will's eyes light up and he looks over you and with an eager nod he looked over you and gave you a genuine loving smile. Swallowing your pride, you give him a smile back and search his face. He seemed kind, caring even. You didn't want to judge but it was like you couldn't help it. He kidnapped you after all, but there was just something so soft and somber behind his eyes. You could feel that he could really do damage if he chose to, but he didn't. He didn't hurt you; he didn't want to. He's been nothing short of sweet with you.

You reach for him and look over him and give him a sweet smile and he takes your hand and kisses your hand gently before he unlocks your ankle from the chain and leads you to the kitchen. Sitting you down he smiles.

"Coffee? What would you like for breakfast?" He asked.

"Coffee sounds perfect. Breakfast... blueberry pancakes? With sausage on the side and an egg?" You ask with a small smile. "I can help if you'd like." You offer.

Looking at you he tilts his head and smiles nodding. "I'd like that."

Making your way over to the counter, it felt good to stretch your legs and do something other than reading, or sketching, even pacing your room was growing exhausting. You would attempt to see if he can take you out back to his beautiful garden later. But right now. Right now, you just wanted to enjoy doing something different after what seemed like days.

Taking a moment to watch him, you feel this urge to reach out and touch him. Looking up at him you smile. He looks over you, but it was this urge to reach out a little more. Pushing past, you start to realize a little more about him that was deeper, it was a deeper acceptance of things, you realize you're really not going anywhere.

"I want you to make love to me Will..." You state, almost hesitant, but genuine. "In your bed..." you add.

He stops and looks at you, tilting his head, a little concerned, but there was something in your eyes that spoke truth. He knew what this was, but he was also blinded by his own wants, needs, and desires. His utter infatuation with you.

He pulls you close and kisses you deeply. In a fever you wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer, your hands in his hair. Bending slightly, he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him as he takes you to his room.

Laying you upon his bed he looks over you as you toss your night shirt to the side and you sit up, reaching forward and pull at his pajama pants as he strips his shirt off and tosses it to the side. Dropping his pants, he scoots you further up on the bed, so your head rests on the pillows.

"Are you sure?" He asks. The first time he's asked for consent, but you know what, you were willing this time.

You look at him and nod. "I'm sure." you whisper as you press your lips to his and pull him closer.

Pressing your hips up toward him, you feel his member against your flesh, and you let out a soft whimper and a heavy breath. The kiss deepens. Feeling him stiffen against your warm, damp, needing core you whimper again and roll your hips against the stiffing flesh and with a small adjustment he slips his member between your heavenly folds, and he lets out a groan.

Feeling the way he stretches you, you let out a soft moaning whimper as you arch into him, your nails rake across his back up to his shoulders. His lips press against yours in a small fit of fever. With each thrust the grunts and groans matched.

He made your body feel hot, tingly, wanted even. Why did you not see this before? Maybe it was because it wasn't under your terms, but now, now this was your terms and it felt different. You could get more used to this than what you are now.

The roll of your hips matched the press of his in perfect unison, the moans from your lips bounced off the walls and it only fueled him even more. The way he filled you caused you to want more. You were absolutely lost in this moment, craving more you widen your hips and lose yourself completely to him.

While the act itself was intoxicating, what fueled you more was feeling that pining for a finish, feeling it swell within your core you clench your legs around him pulling him deeper into you. Letting out a seductive lustful scream in raw pleasure you feel this orgasm consume you. But it was when you felt him press deeper into you releasing his hot ribbons of seed, feeling them coat your walls you let out another trembling fluttering moan that fills the room.

After a few moments you both look at each other and you smile a somber calm loving smile. "Breakfast?" you ask.

With a chuckle he nods and carries you to the kitchen, setting you on the counter, his seed oozing from you as he smirks. It was this moment you realize that this man, you were going to enjoy the company of a little more than before. This moment right here that he knew you were going to be with him forever.

#will graham x female reader #will graham x reader #Will Gram Fanfic #will graham x you #Will Graham Angst #Will Graham Fluff #Will Graham Smut #will graham fic #will graham imagine #will graham gif #will graham #hannibal fanfic #hannibal fanfiction #my fanfiction #VoxMortuus

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sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast · 7 months

Text

Day 13: Phone Sex

♤♡-Pairs: Pantalone x Fem!reader

☆☆-Warnings: phone sex, slight degradation, Pantalone is a busy man, he loves you though, needy reader, have fun! >.<

It was no secret that Pantalone was a busy man. Being one of the eleven Harbingers, often kept him that way. Multitudes of business trips and meetings, settling disputes that his so-called coworkers caused. He was a busy man but even so, he still found time for his baby. But sometimes, it wasn't enough for you.

Today was one of those days.

You knew he was busy at work, just now leaving one of his mandatory meetings. Right now, he'd be exiting the meeting hall, his large fur coat trailing behind him as he made his way to the office. Upon entering, he'd shrug off his coat, removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. His lean body sauntering over to sit in his seat, leaning back against the head rest. You had seen that before, only it was when you were beneath his desk. Servicing him after a particularly rough day. Yes. The image alone had you reaching for your phone, dialing his number.

It rang only twice before he pressed accept, tucking the phone between his ear and his shoulder. "Hello, dear." He spoke, buttery smooth with an undertone of exhaustion. The sound traveled to your body all the way to the already aching heat in between your thighs. And you didn't waste any time, "I want you.." you murmured, listening to his intake of breath before he chuckled. "You always do. You're a needy little thing, aren't you? Always thinking of my cock."

He heard you whine into the phone, causing his dick to twitch in his slacks. And still a smile remains, using one hand to undo the button. Making sure you heard as he slid down the zipper. "I bet you are practically drooling for it, aren't you? Is that pretty pussy wet for me?" You nodded, dumbly, forgetting he couldn't see you over the phone. "Yes.." you sighed out, your hands already teasing at the band of your panties. He chuckled, "I'll bet, but just to be sure. Prove it to me. Let me hear it." Pantalone listened closely as he slid his pants down to mid thigh, only slipping his cock free from the confinements of his briefs. He spit quite abruptly into his hand, lubricating his length as he listened to you touch yourself.

Your fingers sliding in between your messy folds, circling around your already puffy clit. Whining and begging for it to be his fingers instead. How badly you wanted him to make a mess of you. To insert his long and slender fingers deep into your pussy. Torturing that sweet spot he always seemed to find on the first try. He heard it all, and it only made his dick twitch, beads of precum dribbling from the tip. Of course, he touched himself too, long and languid strokes up and down his length. Humming in satisfaction at how needy his baby was. It was one of the many things he loved about you.

"So needy baby, I bet you've been working yourself up all day with thoughts of me. Isn't that right?" You can only mumble into the phone, the sound of your messy cunt louder than anything you could possibly say right now. He hissed, holding tight to his length so he didn't cum from the sounds alone. Pantalone wanted you to cum first. "I can hear how close you are. Go on and stick a few fingers in, yeah? Pretend they're mine." He simply smiled at the noise that ripped from the depth of your stomach. Wet, hot, squelching filled his ears as you rode your own fingers. Pretending they were the long, pretty gloved ones you so desperately needed. It didn't take long for you to make a mess all over your sheets. And only a few seconds later did you hear a low groan, signaling he'd cum as well.

He sighed, "You made me make a mess, dear. Tsk tsk, I'll have to do something about that when I get home."

And like you hadn't just made a mess of your sheets--you found yourself saying, "Can we go one more time?"

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#genshin impact #kinktober #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #pantalone #pantalone smut #pantalone x you #pantalone x reader #lovelies-getting-freaky

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muzzlemouths · 10 months

Text

two of us

Moon centric / Wordcount: 4219

Moon knows something is wrong within the first ten minutes of your shift. When your heavy footfall reaches the daycare and you enter through the doors, half-drained caffeinated beverage of choice in hand, looking like an underpaid actor who mistakenly stumbled away from the set of the newest zombie movie right down to the miserable circles beneath your eyes.

In fact, the only thing distinguishing you from someone with a taste for brains is the fact that, until this point, you were somehow still acting in a somewhat functional manner — signing papers, directing customers, and the like — either by way of miracle, or simply in desperation to keep your job.

All of that falls apart, however, when your evening shift dips into graveyard shift territory, and sees you walking through those big, wooden doors and immediately buying a one way ticket to the floor.

Certainly not due to the bone-deep exhaustion weighing down your every step, no siree! You choose to lay the blame of your fall on the stuffed toy you discover underfoot, evidently missed in the clean up process between day and night.

Speaking of cleaning up, the toy is joined by a newfound stain of which the daycare carpet gobbles up like a hungry sponge, the last few swallows of your drink having spilled outside of its flimsy, polyethylene prison in your awkward descent to the floor.

Worse still, you aren't the only one to notice. The distant ring of bells foreshadows Moon's presence, his familiar voice sounding above and beyond its usual agitation by the time he's enough within earshot to even hear what's being said. A mantra of "Clean up, clean up" hissed just under breath; a remnant of his coding that not even a virus can override.

"Nice to see you too," is how you end up greeting him that night, halfway to your feet again already, "don't get your hat in a twist, there was only a few drops left. I wouldn't have spilled it if this stupid toy wasn't here, anyway."

Not bothering to lift his gaze from the bottle of cleaning spray in his hand, and still diligently scrubbing the stain away with a rag in the other, Moon burns holes in the floor with a narrow eyed expression that implies he cares little for your excuses. "Clumsy, clumsy," he chides, "are you going to blame your tardiness on the toy as well?"

You stiffen in place, bristling around the shoulders, "I'm hardly more than a few minutes late," you defend, "I'd like to see you try to wrestle an entire roll of tickets out of a kid's mouth half an hour before closing. The mother was convinced I wanted him to choke, like I was actively trying to hand-feed her monkey of a child all the paper currency we had in stock. Fuck you!"

This earns you a chuckle, his amiability returning in the form of a shit eating grin. "Sounds like your job is becoming a running gag—" he finally looks in your direction, going quiet just as soon when he sees the state you're in. His smile disappears along with the expectation of a proper reaction for that terrible pun. "What's wrong?"

The abrupt switch to bonafide sincerity catches you off guard. Judging by the way his eyes immediately return to the floor, you think it surprises him, too. "Nothing," is all you manage in response. "I'm just a little tired. It's been a long day."

"Liar," he says.

You bristle further. "Exactly what part of that is a lie? After the day I've had, I think it's more than fair of me to be a little tired."

"Tired, yes," he stands now with slow, methodical movements, discarding the rag in a laundry bin nearby and kicking the bottle aside so he can properly close the distance between you, "but not only a little." His eyes scan you up and down, judging the extent of damage like a bloodhound sniffing out its target, yet when he's already convinced himself of the answer he still bothers to ask the question, "When's the last time you slept?"

It's a trap. You know this, he knows this, but if you're lucky, he might still accept your word for it without too much of a fuss. "A few hours before my shift started," you lie, "I don't need a nap, Moon. Can we just drop it?"

He doesn't look convinced. Why would he? You're moving at the speed of someone who came here after crawling out of a grave six feet deep.

Much to your surprise, however, he doesn't push it. Instead he answers you with a quiet nod and an expression you can't quite place, and shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his star adorned pants. "Are you doing rounds?” He asks, an odd tone to his voice, “I’ll join you.”

It’d be a lie to say you aren’t suspicious. Moon rarely if ever gave out free passes, especially when it came to this, and if he did it normally meant getting something out of it himself. There was something else at play here. Ironically, you’re too tired to give it much thought either way — and anyway, why look a gift horse in the mouth? Maybe he was just in a good mood.

“Actually, I’m playing the role of grease monkey tonight,” you correct him, “management wants me to repair a machine in the arcade.”

“You’re qualified for that?” He sneers.

“It’s just figuring out why the tickets aren’t dispensing,” you admit, words punctuated with a roll of your eyes, “they’re probably just stuck behind the machine door again. It’ll take, like, three seconds to fix.”

“And after?”

You answer him with a knitted brow, then a shrug, “That’s the only task I was given after checking the lights in here. I’m on the clock for another five hours, though, so I’m sure I’ll find something to do.” Then, somewhat begrudgingly, “Still care to join me?”

Moon answers you with a shrug of his own. “Might as well,” he grins, voice already dripping with sarcasm, “don’t want you falling asleep on the job.”

It’s impossible for your eyes to roll any further into the back of your head. “Fine,” you relent, sighing as you turn yourself back towards the exit. A shelf carrying pillows and blankets must be passed on your way out, forcing you to avoid eye contact with it lest you answer its siren call of comfort. “And don’t get in my way,” you add, “I want to get this over with quickly so I can spend the rest of my shift pretending I’m home already.”

He says nothing in reply, but you don’t miss the sound of bells that follows you out the door. It’s interrupted only briefly by another sound all together — the creak of metal, like an opening hatch, and then a solid click — shortly followed by more bells. You’re witness to nothing out of the ordinary in the quick glance over your shoulder. He smiles politely, too politely, and makes an expectant gesture for you to continue.

This is going to be a long night.

Moon shadows your heel from the rafters for the whole trek to the arcade, a presence which you do your best to pay no mind to. This approach to keeping your sanity intact works until it doesn’t, when you arrive to find your destination dark as the night sky, and the red glow following in your wake is suddenly accompanied by a voice — that is, a soft and audible hum. You know exactly what he’s doing.

With the escape of another groan, you retrieve the flashlight from your hip and head inside, resisting the urge to flashbang him with it. His only saving grace is the knowledge that doing so will only result in a whole lot of complaining and, frankly, you aren’t eager to encourage an already excessive bad habit of his. Besides, at this hour the DJ himself would be fast asleep on his stage, and you’d hate to wake him by enacting revenge on the little goblin above your head.

Still, the humming is difficult to ignore and it only adds to the overstimulation already welling inside your brain, loud in the way only television static can be. In reality there’s no real noise to contest with it. The arcade itself is quiet as a morgue. There’s no reason you should be feeling overwhelmed… save for the lack of sleep, of course, but you aren’t about to admit to it with Moon’s eyes on your back.

It’s only a matter of time before these actions would have their consequences. Already, your world is starting to sway.

Well, not starting. Everything had been a little topsy-turvy in the last few hours before arriving for your shift. They say after so many days without sleep, the first thing you’ll start to see are spiders. You don’t see spiders, though. You see ghosts. Silhouettes of people in your peripheral vision which always happen to be turning a corner by the time you look their way. You hear voices that aren’t there, laughter that originates from no where in particular, and again, those damn bells. You’re starting to think those, too, are only a hallucination.

By the time you find the machine in question you’re already reaching a breaking point.

The song in his throat is familiar, but you can’t remember ever knowing its name. It’s a pretty tune, easy on the ears — soothing, even — when you had the energy to appreciate it. As it stands, you’re running on fumes. The gears in your brain are fatigued and barely in operation. When you kneel to unlock the machine’s door it’s an action done with great caution, because if you aren’t careful, you might just be persuaded into staying on the floor until your shift ends.

“Hey,” against your better judgment, you elect to offer Moon the briefest stint of your attention again in hopes that the conversation will help wake you up, “What are you doing up there?”

He falls silent. Then, with a cheeky grin you can hear but not see, “Staying out of your way.” He drops, the sound barely audible, coming to land in the space behind you. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Not what I meant, smartass.”

Your flashlight beams into the inner face of the machine and focuses in on the ticket dispenser. As suspected, its jammed. You exhale with a particularly exhausted groan and punch your key into a port dial, turning it to the east until the machine’s system roars to life. You only need to clear the tickets stuck in the slot’s exit in order to free the rest.

Moon’s unspoken question hangs in the air. Despite not hearing him come near, you can feel his presence like heat against the back of your neck.

“The humming,” you clarify, eyes still on the task at hand, “I don’t think I’ve heard you doing that before.”

The tickets squirm in place like a printer chewing on its own paper. You grasp onto its parchment tongue and draw the line of tickets towards your chest with a little angled wiggling until the accusing portion frees itself from the confines of the slot. The constipation of tickets spills out immediately after, drawing a breath of relief from your lips. The machine correctly offers five tickets, then ten, then fifteen. You shift on your knee to begin the painstaking act of standing back up.

The tickets stop.

“Don’t know what you mean,” replies Moon at the worst possible time, “I’m just making noise.”

You try to block out the ringing in your ears. The ghosts. The tick tick tick of a clock that moves through molasses as your body attempts to continue functioning on its meager amount of rest. Moon isn’t helping. If he said anything more to you, the only noise he’d be making is that of a system shutdown after you were through ringing his neck.

Back down to your knee, again, you take hold of the stub awkwardly sitting just outside of its narrow cage and recreate the action from before. A little wiggling, a little tugging. You’re decisively ignoring the robot behind you now. Or trying your best to, anyway. He isn’t exactly making it easy.

“Do you need some he—”

“I’ve got it!” You snap before he has a chance to finish, “Just go away and let me do my job.”

Your head thunders, a continues clap, clap, clap of tension akin to someone layering rubber bands on a melon until it pops. The tickets don’t retract with ease, this time, and the violent shake beginning in your hands makes the act that much harder. Is it this irritability that makes them tremble? Or is it the same reason behind your heavy, fluttering eyes, and the palpitations drumming against your ribcage like an animal trying to set itself free.

Stubbornly, you continue, now setting your face a short distance from the slot to get a better look and proceeding to slam your fist against the side. The mass of paper budges, little by little.

“I’m not sure you should—”

A final bang unleashes the trail of currency directly into your eye. The scream dies before it reaches your tongue, forced down again like rancid bile until all that escapes is a pathetic whimper, you chew viciously on the inside of your cheek to cope and angrily cup a hand over your wounded eye as the tickets continue to freely descend.

Something new occurs as a result of this bone-deep frustration. Your eyes wet around the corners, salty and warm. You ignore them desperately and move to stand.

The machine spits and hisses. The tickets stop once again.

This time you do scream, muffling the noise into the back of your free hand, both fists indenting crescents into the soft flesh of your palms. Inevitably, the sound of Moon’s bells reaches your back. “Don’t,” you growl, not having the patience for any of his expected games.

He edges closer despite your demands. You know this by the sound of his fan, the tell-tale whir joining a tinnitus chorus in your ears. You know it by the way he reaches for your shoulder right as you grasp the frail line of tickets and wrench them backwards with all of your strength, realizing your mistake only when it’s too late. The paper rips apart and the entire train disappears hopelessly behind the secondary machine wall. The process sends you a short distance backwards, colliding with Moon.

Again, wordlessly, you find his hand on your shoulder. The other is working to untangle your limbs from each other. It appears he’s attempting to sooth you, but you don’t know for sure. You can’t see him behind the red in your vision or hear him beyond the ring in your ears. He’s saying something to you, that much you know, but not what or why, and you do nothing to find out.

Your anger is boiling. Frustration drags you from the floor and forward, onto your feet, where you take it out on the machine that has continuously fought you by slamming the metal door shut. It connects with such force that the mechanisms spring loose and the door inevitably swings open again, further mocking you.

The rubber bands around your head begin to snap all at once.

Moon says something you don’t hear. His voice is quiet. Blue fingers appear in the corner of your vision.

Your body moves on its own volition, head pounding, heart racing, your palms connect with his chest before your mind has time to catch up.

The clatter of metal hitting the floor echos throughout the enormous arcade, surpassing even the ghosts and the bells and the ringing. You hear him fall before you see it, before you can make sense of it.

His eyes briefly go static, then flash between colors, black red black red black red blackredblackredblackredblack. Red. Normal red. You’ve never been more relieved to see the color. He picks himself up from the ground with slow, aching movements, and clutches gingerly at his faceplate, a headache of his own kind surely beginning to form.

Soon after he peers between his fingers. Obviously, his gaze is furious, an aggression you’re all too familiar with and one you can’t say you’d blame him for, here and now, but the expression on his face changes with time and becomes relenting. Like he just…lets it go.

“Ow,” is all he initially says, staring at you pointedly. Then, with a wince and the barest hint of a toothy smirk, “You’re a terrible mechanic.”

The room falls silent again for fifteen awful, clarity induced seconds. The time it takes you to catch your breath. Finally, the last rubber band snaps and you, too, find yourself coming undone. What starts as dry, humorless laughter quickly transitions into a warble, and then a full-blown sob. You sink to the floor and wail endlessly into your hands as days worth of mounting exhaustion bring wave after wave of tears. Your shoulders tremble, your body hurts. You want nothing more than to be left alone as you break into a million pieces.

Moon, as usual, cares little for what you want.

A soft and familiar click is your only warning before a weight can be felt on your shoulders. Forcing yourself to open your eyes and blink through the tears, you see Moon wrapping a blanket around you, tucking the ends together at your front. The fabric is warm and soft. He’s brought it all the way from the daycare.

This does nothing to stop the waterworks. If anything, you find yourself crumbling against him, your throat going sore as emotions flood from you tenfold. Your forehead lands against his chest and stays there as an apology forms between sobs, again and again and again. Each time he remains silent, doing nothing to stop you, but his hand is gentle as it tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and he is undeniably careful when drawing his thumb across your cheek to rid of the tears.

“How long?” It’s a whisper so quiet, you barely hear it over the remnants of labored breath.

“What?”

“How long,” he asks again, looking deeply into your eyes, “since you slept?”

Another sob threatens to spill over your tongue. You quell it, and the tears with it, bringing your shirt sleeve over the wet tracks and swallowing around your breath until your voice returns without its tremor. You see little point in lying to him now.

“Three days,” you admit, and Moon stiffens in place, pleading with a wide-eyed stare, like any minute you’ll tell him you’re joking. But you’re not. “I tried,” you continue, “I keep trying, but I just can’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

You feel a little ridiculous like this. Wet faced and sniffling, your forehead tucked awkwardly against his chest, complaining about your challenges with falling sleep, of all things. A nightly habit that most people don't even consider a skill because everyone can do it with ease, right?

A good book, a cup of tea, a playlist of lullabies, there is an endless list of ways to find rest and none of them work; not always. Not when you need it most. The list of things that keep you up at night far exceeds the solutions. It makes the exhaustion feel like a punishment for something out of your control.

The lack of that control makes you feel all wrong. A little useless. A little broken.

“Can I show you something?”

Moon’s voice drags you back to the surface. You turn onto your cheek, pressing that against his frame instead so you can better see his face.

Just as soon, he averts his gaze. “You can’t laugh,” he says, sounding serious all of a sudden, “if you laugh, I’ll leave.”

You wouldn’t dare. Not ever, but especially not now. For fear of answering him with a croak, you simply nod your head. It isn’t good enough for him.

“I need you to promise,” he says.

Another nod, to show you understand. You can think of no reason not to humor him so, as promised, you raise your pinky into the air with intentions to shake, an act you’ve only ever performed with Sun. “I promise.”

Though he is visibly hesitant, Moon eventually lifts his own finger, engulfing as it curls around your own. If he accepts your promise it’s impossible to tell because, for the longest time, there is only silence and a distant look in his eyes.

Then, undeniably, there is music. A gentle tune, mechanical, whirring in a way that is separate from his fans. You hear every cord, every plucked tooth and prong. A music box. It plays from deep within his chest and to his left, just under your ear. Were he human, you suspect it might sit exactly where his heart is.

“It’s nice,” you mumble, feeling your eyelids grow heavier and heavier.

A grating cord interrupts you, the tune fumbles and clashes inharmoniously, becoming discordant for a matter of time before falling into its proper rhythm once more. Moon winces.

“It’s broken,” he says, “I don’t think it can be fixed.”

Nevertheless, your ear stays where it’s at, cheek pressed soundly into the warmth of his chest. “I guess that makes two of us,” you mumble, content. You feel him still against you, going rigid until he feels like a spring ready to fly. His arms tuck you close, and all at once, he relaxes.

“Yeah,” comes his reply, barely there at all, “I guess it does.”

The truth is that you would be content to stay like this all night. Sleep doesn’t feel so distant, now. It doesn’t feel scary, or out of reach, or like it might run if you get too close. You feel safe approaching it, and you feel safe here, even if you’d never dare admit the words aloud.

But Moon knows better than to remain here. He collects you into his arms without offering you the time to argue, and you, with exhaustion at your back and music against your ear, do not fight him in the slightest. You hardly feel each step as he carries you across the arcade. You don’t see the expression worn by the DJ, who opens a single eye from his feigned sleep to follow your exit, and you don’t see the nod Moon gives him in exchange.

You do see the glamrocks. Freddy speaks with a staff member not too far down the hall. Chica patrols the length of space separating your current location from the Daycare, often looking for conversation, and any day but today you would be happy to engage with her. But today you have the strength of a child, and your eyes are red, and your face is wet, and all you can do is tuck your head further into Moon’s chest in an attempt to hide yourself. Fresh tears spring at the edges of your vision, threatening to spill over at the thought of being so exposed in front of them when you’re already feeling plenty vulnerable.

Somehow, Moon knows, and understands, and he is wordless as he brings the hat from his head and places it delicately over your face to shield it. Like this, you look like you’re already sleeping, and no one would dare wake you up. His hat is soft and it is warm and it smells faintly of lavender. The bell rolls with a gentle ting along the length of your arm.

The feeling of wind rushing past your skin alerts you to your arrival, the heavy Daycare doors falling shut at Moon’s ankles. He brings you across the room and to the sleeping nook as you finally pull the hat from its position over your face (yet still refuse to release your iron grip on it), struggling to see in the darkness that greets you.

And then comes the feeling of being put down. He is bent at the knee and carefully lowering you into a mound of blankets when you instinctively reach out and catch the ruffled fabric around his collar, causing him to still.

Now comes the embarrassment — though it is small, far outweighed by the warmth he has to offer and the sleepy lull of your heavy limbs — you still manage to push yourself somewhat away, mumbling, “Sorry, sorry,” almost incoherently through threads of exhaustion.

But he's already changed his mind, evidenced by the feeling of being hoisted again into the air. He lowers himself into the spot, instead, so you can stay in his lap, and against his chest. The music box skips and stutters, but you don’t mind it at all.

The last thing you remember is a song. Adjacent to the music in his chest, a hum can be heard, ever faintly. It brings a smile to your lips.

“I knew I remembered your voice,” you whisper blearily, grasping onto what little consciousness remains, “I always find my way back to the things I care about.”

Moon pauses just long enough to press a kiss to your head. “I guess that makes two of us.”

#drabbles #fnaf moon #moondrop #x reader #moon x reader #x reader fic #DCA fandom

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lizaluvsthis · 2 months

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Kisame

"I regret the things I did..."

Written by @lizaluvsthis

Inspiration from the song ' Kisame ' by Rhodessa

[Recommended song to listen to]

Summary- SMG4 finished his daily video and laid back down to his bed, he finds himself overthinking...

Note- Kisame in english means ceiling ^^

Chapter is only 1/1

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Pining, Angst/Self Comfort, Gay and Depression is real.

You opened this chapter and I won't say sorry once you did.

10:25 pm

SMG4 had finished editing his video, shutting off the lights and laying his back flat on the mattress.

Taking a huge breath from all the exhaustion he wasted on another brand new video, opening both of his eyes.

He began to stare at the ceiling for a while with a blank thought of his mind, trying to take a break after everything. Even how much he pushed out those problems, it kept bothering him anyway.

What was he supposed to do? SMG4 is a hard worker, to keep the fans entertained, worked out from his ass by 24/7 with every videos he'd make, he couldn't stop.

Oh, how he regretted every moment of that, how he hated himself, he could never say sorry. Even just a simple sorry was difficult enough to emphasize his own character.

What made it hard for him to apologize is that he couldn't say sorry to himself, never even forgive. He was selfish, a selfish man whose hopes are up to 'follow that dream' but he can't push all of those problems forever, he can't just forget about them because they were such a big deal when you're living.

He found it hard to accept, to live as a normal guy. He has such a big reputation to be in and yet he's stuck at some place built a castle with his name written on it.

He still has to pay, living a day in a world where you survive while time passes by... it's sad.

He wished he never existed in the first place, but what came in? Contents to make him keep alive, endless amounts of videos he'd make.

The passion he craved with, the goal he reached. He made it. What next?

What was his next goal? If he had everything to himself now, why did he feel so incomplete? Why did he feel lost? Something missing?

SMG4 knows that he'd already been miserable enough, why else would he be upset?

"We can make another!"

A memory echoed through his head, ears hearing this out from Three's voice were surreal.

Just seeing three by his side, was he actually telling the truth? Were they both really friends? Were the things he said are real? Did he ACTUALLY had that soft side that led him to open up his heart and spoke the whole thing?

Or was that all just to set him free and that none ever he said were true?

But if he did... then why else would Three help him even after and before?

If three considered him as a friend, friends always got their back. Like how Mario helped him, how every crew of his are like a family he never had.

SMG3 meant something... something special...

He was the first antagonist he met but became ex rivals with four even right after the whole "destroying your reputation" arc.

What made three change his heart of mind? What made him change his choice?

Wasn't he supposed to kill the guy- him?

Wasn't he supposed to be the evil one?

Weren't his actions to make Four's life a living hell?

Weren't all those things he did is to steal his youtube channel?

What happened to him?

Where did his old self go and whats this new him?

What took four this long to realize that three had done so much to save him? Risked his life? Literally.

He was sorry for him, sorry for everything. But he never even told him how sorry, how much of a bother, how annoyingly of a coward he was towards his feelings.

"R-remember what I said?" What did he say? What was that? What is four missing here? What did he forgot? What did he miss?

"We're friends!"

-ring-

Was that right?

Were they both really friends?

After everything they've been through?

After... he destroyed him...?

"Ughhhh..." he tried to cover his eyes, planting his wrist to his view. Tried to keep himself calm...

-inhale-

A deep quiet sleep...

-exhale-

A silent evening with nothing to feel bothered of...

-inhale-

Just push them all away and never bother...

-exhale-

Going...

Back...

Opening his eyes back again looking upon the clock...

10:31 pm

Tik...

Tok...

Tik...

Tok...

Time passes by too slow... yet too fast at the same time...

It makes you go crazy and lose your mind...

Where did I went through?

How did I get here?

Why did I ended up like this?

A mind flooded questions, unanswered thoughts. Overthinking again and again and again and over again.

Why was he thinking about Three back there?

Why did it matter to him again?

He didn't know how or why...

There is just something... a thing that he isn't sure what it's called...

Sure they're friends but are they really?

There's so many things roaming through his head, sending him mixed signals from Three's complicated doings.

He found it quite interesting and exciting but at the same time- scary.

Intrigued and fascinated by how Three could do everything better, and that he never misses. All of it... impressive...

But wasn't four more better than him from the start? Back in memewarts he kept notice that Three had tried everything... yet... he got the attention all to himself again...

"You're an -sshole smg4..."

He said that to himself... everything is pretty bad to him... why did he have to do that? When you're already full of everything and you keep bugging into their life?

Came crashing in and picking up the pieces you can't fix...?

"You're so tsundere SMG3" "NO I'M NOT! YOU BAKA!"

Another set of memory flashed to his eyes, three is a tsundere... he looked at the meaning earlier ago, was this all true?

Three? Being an actual tsundere to SMG4... everytime... he gets back to him... a possibility he had feelings for...

No... no way... there's just no way...

His heart started beating faster, warmth from his face, his cheeks and his nose turning red. Felt like his eyes were burning, how he forgot to cry...

Felt like this was the first time from him in years to ever cry after so long... he gripped the sheets from the mattress, his heart felt torn apart.

Ripped up to bits, feeling it sunken deeper, like drowning from a breathable surface. Was that all he could ever wanted? Changing for the better person?

He was gay for him? Madly inlove? A reason why he RISKED his LIFE to SAVE HIM...???

"But why...?" Time and time again, why does Four even bother? It was all from Three... he felt so stupid... so oblivious that he is now realizing Three had this feeling for him...

"I'm... I'm just so lonely... I'm so stupid..." SMG4 hugged the only pillow from his head to his chest, "SO STUPID!" almost tearing the fabric. He lets go, fear that he'd been hurting...

Left for burden...

"I..." He didn't know what to do anymore, looking down at the small rips... in a depth of staring silently...

How long had he been too busy? How long? How long did Three wanted to admit he really love him? How long did three change?

How long was he also suffering the same silence just like his? How long did he hide everything from him? Being the coldest and meanest person? Becoming soft? How long?

How long didn't he express? How long had Four been ignoring his feelings? How long didn't he just act now? How long? How long could he stay like that?

How long would he keep on doing this?

...

Well one thing is for sure...

You can't solve everything from your problems...

You just... kind of did it... beyond repair... broken...

He knows he can't hide his pain anymore... why does he still deepen it when everything is collapsing?

Everything hurts...

Even if... how many times... he kept himself in strangles with the hardest things...

He still finds Three as his other way... like a pathway guiding him to the light like how he did when he was at his darkest moments of life.

Like how he saved him for not going insane...

Thats how of a person SMG3 is...

He hated it... he loved it at the same time...

He felt safe... yet uncomfortable...

Relaxed... panic...

Sad... happy...

Home... loved... and cared...

He didn't deserve all of this... but he is still greatful to have the people he's closest to by his side. Because they'll never leave him no matter what happens.

Four is thinking negative thoughts, but now it was replaced by Three and the positive outcomes of him catching up.

"Three you... you saved me..." Twice he said it... twice... yet Three saved him a bunch of times now, he had to thank him.

"Yeah whatever" how he nearly died during the chase with mario and the notebook, three flunging him out due to the missle's point.

He almost died, and three is just.

"You're gay for me?" he remembered the past, unsure if he really admitted that he has feelings for the man in purple. He was too scared to love, the most closest people he'd been with.

Made a thought of abandonment...

If he could've done more, he wouldn't be a burden to his friends and to him...

How does he tell Three that he also liked him? That he really really loved him...?

His thoughts can never get rid of him because he was someone special.

He wasn't sure if he's worthy for his love.

Why does it always have to end up like this?

He looked at his hand touching the air, notice of his tears stopping.

It's okay... even no matter what or how many times he ignored him, because the pain they both are baring now. Are insufferable to deal to.

Just for Three...

And to himself...

To live...

The water that dripped down from his tears dried, eyes widened and understanding. His heart now wrapped and covered with warmth and joy.

He finally smiled with those soft eyes.

He hugged himself and laughed, how he loved Three, how he just overthinked everything to question his purpose and living, then to him again.

It doesn't matter anymore.

What matters is that he continued living than choosing to die, his decisions are what he points at.

No matter now, if he doesn't know how to deal with his problems? He'll find a way...

He always does...

With a final exhale, relaxing his head and shutting both of his eyes.

How he loved it...

Dying from his lifeline with just a silent scream, daring not to tell a word or two.

Three is all that matters to him in the end.

A few minutes passed by as he drifting away to sleep...

----------

Three however is also dealing the same problem... except it was the opposite. Crying himself to sleep...

- END -

#lizaluv #smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #my art #my fic #kisame

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trancylovecraft · 9 months

Text

(KNY) YANDERE PLATONIC! KOKUSHIBO x SISTER READER: You, Shibou. I, Kokoro (CHAPTER TWO)

Previous Chapter ☆♡☆ Masterlist ☆♡☆ Next Chapter

AO3 link

CHAPTER TWO: "You crazy-ass cosmonaut, Remember your virtue, Redemption lies plainly in truth"

(IMPORTANT NOTE): So, Decided to turn this into a whole ahh fic. Anyways, This takes place in my SLAYER+ AU. Which is something I haven't talked about but the general jist is that it expands the story of Demon Slayer

So if anything in her seems a little bit off its either because its apart of SLAYER+ or I've just made a mistake.

Thank you!

Impostor syndrome is an internalised thought process which make people doubt their standing or achievements, Believing themselves to be undeserving of praise.

This can make the person in question believe that they are not as great as they are portraying. This syndrome often comes hand in hand with other disorders such as Depression.

Cut, Slice, Stab, Pierce!

The blade's movements flowed through the air and struck like lightning against the demons neck.

It wasn't even aware it was defeated until its head hit the ground.

Bouncing once, Then twice until it rolled away like a running coin.

The demon's head came to a halt. The soft sun rays of the oncoming sunrise started to sizzle at it's skin, Making the edges burn away into fading ashes.

The words he wished to say died on his tongue, Watching as the man only a few feet away from him sheathe his sword and exhale once through his mouth.

It was like the slayer didn't even make any effort to kill him, Like he was just doing another chore.

The demon's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, Trying to find the syllables to say yet the only sound he could produce was only a single vowel.

"H-How..?" He choked out. The sun started to reach his face now, Ashes scorching out and fading in a blitz.

The slayer said nothing, He only turned back to the demon. His eyes shown through the small rifts on his mask, The vivid colour looking back at the demon with.. Nothing.

There wasn't any emotion shining behind his eyes, Not like any other of the demon slayers he had faced before eating them.

Disgust, Pity, Resentment.. None of that was present. Not a burning hatred or a disgust for his kind. Instead he seemed tired, Exhausted even.

The last thing the demon saw before burning up completely was the slayer turning back around, Walking off towards the sun.

Then, His remains dissolved entirely, Fading back into the world from where he came from.

Just like all the others.

☆♡☆

The bowl of udon sat uneaten on the table.

[F/N] held a single chopstick in his hand. He circled it around in the bowl, Watching as the contents rippled around like koi in a pond. By now, The noodles and toppings had cooled down, Being now only lukewarm.

[F/N] stared dead into the bowl, Seemingly enraptured by the movements.

It was early in the morning. [F/N] had been called by the crow and arrived at the swordsmith's village only half an hour after sunrise, Yet it was too late. By the time he got there the battle was already won.

It was an Uppermoon attack, Reportedly both five and four were attacking the village. Except from the Entertainment District incident this was the first time an Uppermoon was seen and actually killed in over one hundred years.

If he didn't take a detour to slay a nearby demon he would of gotten there in time to fight the two. [F/N] chided himself for his stupidity.

"Hey.. You're making that face again.."

[F/N] snapped his head up to look across the table.

Mitsuri Kanroji, The Love Hashira, Sat looking at [F/N] from across the table. She had a look of concern on her face, At least as much concern she could show with a clump of noodles stuffed in her mouth.

Mitsuri, One of the combatants in the fight went up against number four and survived. After winning the fight she had decided it was only right to celebrate with a feast. [F/N], Who was already there at the village was invited to join her.

[F/N] accepted, It was convenient. A way to break the news easily.

"What look?" [F/N] asked. The eyes on his kitsune mask widened with the movements below.

"The face-mask thingy.. The one where you look like you despise your food personally.." Mitsuri explained using several vague hand movements to gesture to [F/N]'s face. "How'd you even eat with that thing on anyways?" She added.

"Oh.. Right." [F/N] mumbled.

Moving his hands up to the leather straps reaching behind his head. Unclasping the clip at the back with precision he placed the mask on the table besides his sword, And suddenly he became a she.

The previous build of a strong athletic man had dissolved into the smaller frame of a young woman in her early twenties. The sleeveless slayer uniform and dragon-patterned haori that fit perfectly before had suddenly became oversized, As if she was wearing a rather large blanket.

"Kyah~! No matter how many time's I see it, It doesn't get any less cool!" Mitsuri gushed. The ghost of a smile graced [F/N]'s face and shook her head, It seemed like Mitsuri was back to her normal self.

"..But even though it was cool, It's not gonna get you out of telling me what's wrong" Mitsuri tutted. Shoving another shrimp kebab into her mouth from the dozens of plates beside her, A mountain compared to [F/N]'s anthill of a bowl.

"Really? Nothing does get past you, Does it?" [F/N] mumbled, Trying to gather her thoughts while catching her breath at the hit of sudden weakness.

"Nope! Now spill. You know you can tell me anything right?" Mitsuri said. She set down her fresh plate of food, Her attention now set fully on the woman in front of her.

[F/N] felt her lip quirk, A sudden anxiety chilling her.

"I.. I guess I was just worried about you, 'Tsuri. Are you sure you're okay? A battle with an Uppermoon is no joke, You know?" [F/N] worried, Checking over her form to check for any wounds or bruises.

It wasn't a lie, [F/N] was worried about Mitsuri. She was her closest companion, The woman she could call her best friend yet [F/N] supposed that was why it was so hard to tell her the real truth.

Mitsuri hummed for a second.

"..Of course I'm okay.. Though I do have to admit the fight did give me a run for my money, And you should of seen the mouth on that demon boy!" Mitsuri exclaimed, Recalling the early details of the battle.

"Really? What'd he say to you?" [F/N] asked.

"He called me a tramp! Can you believe that? I've never heard such foul language come out of anyone, Demon or Human!" Mitsuri exasperated. The usual dramatic tone she always wore was present in her voice, Good. [F/N] could confirm she was alright, Atleast in mind.

"Anyways, I swear! If I wasn't strong enough to survive that blast or my if my breathing style wasn't as fast as it is: I would've been a goner." She concluded, Shaking her head.

"I'm glad you're alright, I'm just sorry I wasn't there to help you" [F/N] replied, Sombreness lacing an undertone of her voice.

"Don't worry about it, I surv- WAIT! What I said just reminded me, I forgot to tell you!" Mitsuri squawked, Suddenly jumping up in her seat.

"Hm?" [F/N] lowered a brow, Prompting her to continue.

"Do you remember those Kamado kids? Tanjiro and Nezuko, Doesn't ring a bell?" Mitsuri questioned.

"Erm.. Who?" [F/N] asked in return.

"You don't remember them? The boy with the checkered haori, The absolutely adorable little demon girl?" Mitsuri squealed as if she was a mother gushing over her children's achievements, Fanning her face to cool down her ever-present blush.

[F/N] hummed and searched through the archive of her memory.

"Nope, Don't think I've met them." [F/N] concluded, Her mind drawing a blank.

"Wait. You showed up late to the meeting right?" Mitsuri snapped her fingers, Suddenly recalling.

"..Yep. If you mean the outside portion then yeah, Missed it." [F/N] said nonchalantly, Finally taking a clump of noodles and moving it up to her mouth.

"Ah, Right. That makes sense then. You should really keep better track of time, [F/N]" Mitsuri scolded lightly, Taking another bite of food. "Anyways, I've decided to send them your way!"

[F/N] paused. The cluster of noodles inches from her lips stopped mid-way through Mitsuri's sentence.

"..What?" [F/N] queried, Lowering the noodles. Maybe she had misheard. Mitsuri quirked a lip.

"Erm.. I decided to send them your way..? The boy, Tanjiro has this special breathing technique… And since you've got the most expertise on breathing styles I kind kind of.. Sent him your way?" Mitsuri said slowly, Trying to pique what kind of reaction [F/N] would have.

She watched as [F/N]'s face morphed into a kind of blank stare, The same one she had while glaring at her soup.

Mitsuri let out a small squeak, Waving her hands about.

"I-I didn't really mean to! It just kind of came up in conversation and I kind of let slip that you might have some information since you've helped others before on this stuff- And.. And he just kind of decided to find you- I didn't know you were coming here so he's already on his way to the Kakushi Base, I'm really sor-" Mitsuri's babbling came to a halt at the feeling of a hand gripping hers, Stopping its movement.

[F/N] sighed lightly and looked back at Mitsuri with a small smile.

"It's fine, 'Tsuri. You don't need to explain yourself, It's just.." [F/N]'s small smile dropped.

[F/N] knew that she needed to tell her eventually, If she didn't get it over with it now then it would be more difficult later on. [F/N] just prayed she'd understand.

"I didn't just come here to celebrate your victory.. I.. I need to tell you something" [F/N] started. Her [E/C] irises met the lime green hue's of Mitsuri's. She stared into them trying to gather up the confidence while Mitsuri only stared back with a concerned gaze as she picked up her chopsticks.

Setting her hands on her lap, She took a deep breath.

"I'm retiring."

Mitsuri dropped the chopsticks.

They fell back onto the plate, The resounding clack! seemed so much louder than it did before as it echoed around the room.

"W-What.. Come again?" Mitsuri stumbled on her words, She was in shock as her shoulders tensed up. The surprised reached her face, Disbelief in her eyes and her jaw slack open.

"I'm retiring, 'Tsuri." [F/N] repeated, Confirming her words to Mitsuri. The silence was deafening.

Suddenly two hands gripped onto [F/N]'s shoulders from across the table, Almost pulling her over.

"What?! Did you get hurt? Did someone die? What happened? You can tell me you know, I won't say a word to anyone!" Mitsuri exclaimed, Shaking [F/N] by the shoulders from across the table.

"Aah! Nothing happened to me, Tsuri! I'm fine!" [F/N] blurted out, Still being shaken around.

Mitsuri lifted her hands off from [F/N]'s shoulders, Yet it wasn't a relief as Mitsuri got up from her seat. [F/N] following close behind her as they met face to face.

"Then what, [F/N]? If you're not hurt or anything then why?" Mitsuri questioned, Her pitch lowering down to a low plead as she got closer to [F/N], Gripping her hand tight.

[F/N] raised their entwined hands, Putting her other hand over Mitsuri's.

"Listen, This isn't something I'm doing on a dime, Okay? I've been thinking about this for a long while now.." [F/N] said.

"Since when?" Mitsuri prodded.

"Since Tengen's retirement.. Since Rengoku's death. It's been on my mind for a long time, And I just think it's time." [F/N] explained. Her voice stung at Mitsuri like a live wire, It sounded strained like something was blocking up her throat.

Mitsuri squeezed [F/N]'s hand tighter.

"[F/N], I can't understand but you need to be with us in the Hashira right now.. We still haven't found a replacement for Rengoku or Tengen. You of all of us can't quit, Not you." Mitsuri argued going closer to [F/N]

"Out of all of us in the Hashira it's you who is the strongest out of all of us, You even beat Gyomei in that department. Do you even remember what you did?" Mitsuri continued.

[F/N] frowned hearing Mitsuri's declarations of grandeur towards her. She looked away, Either in shame or embarrassment she didn't know.

"You're the Soul Hashira, [F/N]! You're the slayer who killed a thousand demons in a year, All on your own. Do you understand the weight of that?" Mitsuri announced.

[F/N] Fujimori, The Soul Hashira. She was the woman who killed one thousand demons in a year, A feat done by no other in recorded history. A feat so big that lower members of the demon slayer corps even doubted she existed, Something only possible by both her reclusive nature and her actual appearance during the day.

The mask. A rather old looking porcelain kitsune mask with black and blue markings, It was a trinket [F/N] had acquired long ago. It had a rather unique effect where whenever [F/N] placed it on her face, She could suddenly change her appearance at will.

She didn't understand it nor did she ever know how it worked but she decided like the vast majority of things that it was better to not look a gift horse in the mouth, A sentiment she had carried ever since childhood.

So, Using it to her advantage [F/N] made herself into the peak version she could be, Or he to be more accurate. An athletic masculine body, More muscle mass than a normal person yet only enough so that it didn't weigh down her movements, Making her both strong and agile in a fight.

It was the entire reason she was able to achieve the title of "Strongest Hashira". That and along with the countless hours of training and meditation, That is.

"Mitsuri.. I understand who I am alright? I know who I am and it doesn't matter to me, It never has. Neither my strength or title.. Even if I did change my mind about this I've already sent my resignation letter to Oyataka-sama, He should be receiving it by tonight.." [F/N] started. The look of determination and finality on her face as she stared Mitsuri straight into the eyes.

"I just.. I feel like my time as a Hashira has ran it's course. After I leave I'm sure Gyomei will be just fine in taking my title.. All my life I've been giving my life and serving other people, I think it's time that I be selfish for once in my life and retire like I should." [F/N] finished, Her stance wide and steady, Unshaken from Mitsuri's argument.

Mitsuri looked at her, The final part of her sentence made her frown once again.

She reached out a hand and placed it firm on her shoulder.

"[F/N].. Is this about him?" Mitsuri whispered, A rare frown painting her face as she looked deep into [F/N]'s eyes for the answer.

[F/N] pried her eyes away from her, Trying to find anywhere except her to look at. Her jaw trembled, Only slightly.

"It is, Isn't it..?" Mitsuri continued quietly.

"Shizuko will be fine without me, Mitsuri!" [F/N] said, Whipping her head back round to face The Love Pillar with a sudden angry tone, Like a nerve had been struck.

Though, Her anger dissipated once she seen the taken aback appearance of Mitsuri.

"I.. Sorry, 'Tsuri. You know I didn't mean that.." [F/N] said, Mimicking Mitsuri's movements by resting her hands on Mitsuri's shoulders.

"No, I shouldn't of brought it up like that.. I'm just surprised, Okay?" She consoled.

[F/N] sighed.

"It's just you're acting like this will be the last time we'll see each other. That's not true, 'Tsuri.. You don't need to worry about me.." [F/N] said quietly, The argument before now mellowed into a discussion.

Mitsuri shook her head.

"We joined together as slayers and fought with each other, I just thought one day we'd both leave together. Like we always have." Mitsuri explained. The onset of tears forming in her eyes were quickly wiped away by [F/N], Who walked over to the food table and picked up two cups of sake, Holding one towards her to which Mitsuri took hesitantly.

"I know, 'Tsuri.. Even though I won't be a slayer tomorrow, I trust that you'll be there for Shizuko, Okay? But tonight I am still a slayer, So please. While this is our last meal as comrades this isn't our last meal as companions. So for the last few hours I'm still on payroll, Let's enjoy tonight." [F/N] said.

Holding her cup of sake up to Mitsuri who smiled at the gesture.

The clinking of the cups signalled the festivities. As celebration Mitsuri had called for more rounds of food, As much as she could imagine (Which was a lot). While [F/N] had called for another few bottles of their strongest sake.

By the time they were done the sun was about to set over the horizon. The crystal clear cerulean had long faded into burnt tangerine skies, Soon to fade into a star-speckled ebony night.

[F/N] had changed into a suitable kimono and her signature haori at this point, Her mask carried in a leather pouch and the large medieval sword hauled on her back with surprising ease.

Mitsuri and [F/N] had walked out past the remains of the village, Their celebration being both of the victory, [F/N]'s retirement, And a final farewell to the memories made inside the houses.

They got past the villagers cleaning up the rubble and packing up their things, Mitsuri stopping and thanking them for their help on their way, Hand in hand with [F/N]. They had called for a carriage to be sent which arrived soon enough, One of the rich tokyo-centered one's for rent coming right down the path being pulled by horses.

"Well then, This is my ride then.." [F/N] concluded as she was greeted by the driver, Who bowed once then helped her up onto the footrail of the vehicle. She looked back at Mitsuri with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, Her hand slipping from Mitsuri's hold.

"I'll see you soon, 'Tsuri" [F/N] said her farewells as she turned around and opened the carriage door, Stepping in.

But suddenly, [F/N] felt herself tugged back by the hand.

She turned around to face Mitsuri, Who seemed just as surprised as [F/N] was at the sudden contact.

"Ah! Sorry, My bad. I didn't mean to do that, Apologies..!" Mitsuri half-heartedly giggled. [F/N] returned it with a curt nod.

"Don't sweat it." [F/N] said, Stepping fully inside the carriage now. However, Mitsuri called out to her.

"Just.. When you get to the Kakushi Base, Don't do anything extreme, Alright?" Mitsuri said with a smile. Yet [F/N] could tell there was something more to it, Something that was just out of reach of [F/N]'s hold.

Instead she returned the smile.

"Of course, Nothing extreme." [F/N] said, Waving her off as the driver closed the door, And with a whip of the reigns the horses took off. Eventually, Mitsuri along with the village grew smaller and smaller, Until they weren't visible at all.

[F/N] laid her head against the glass that was rattling along with the carriages movements along the dirt road. But despite it, Either due to exhaustion or the amount of sake she had drunken, Found it rather easy to go to sleep.

As she felt her remaining consciousness slip away her eyes closed, Embracing the darkness until the blizzard faded into view.

☆♡☆

The sounds of heavy footsteps echoed around the ever-changing space of the Infinity castle.

The reverberation of biwa strings and far-off chatter could be heard from far away, Bouncing off the moving shoji-walls and polished wood floorings. The place smelled like fresh sawdust to the point that it left a lasting impression on the scent of anyone coming in or out.

The dim lighting of the paper lamps and candles alit barely gave any lighting to the movement of the two demon's making their way to the centre of the castle.

The larger of the footsteps strode in front, The other lighter pair trailed along behind the larger pair.

All of Kokushibo's eyes were put dead forward, Set on the task ahead of him. His nagagi kimono wove lightly in the short breeze travelling through the cavern of rooms along with his ponytail swaying with it.

Kaigaku sheepishly trailed behind him from a fair enough distance, His eyes were focused fully on the demon in front of him.

They both had been summoned by Nakime, Assumedly along with the other Uppermoons or at least what was left of them. This was the second time in the same week they were called to the infinity castle and Kokushibo already had a suspicion to why.

Kaigaku however, Hadn't gotten a clue.

"Master.. M-May I ask why is it we have been summoned here today?" Kaigaku stuttered out, Fidgeting with his hands as he eagerly waited on his mentor's answer.

Kaigaku, The newest upper rank after the siblings perished and having the honour of baring the title of Kokushibo's Tsuguko. Of course, The title of Tsuguko suggested that Kaigaku would take over from Kokushibo one day, Which was a complete misnomer.

Kaigaku, Despite being a previous breath wielder with potential had absolutely no chance of passing Kokushibo in power.

He wouldn't dare to anyways, He could barely keep himself together in front of him. Challenging Kokushibo for his spot at number one was simply unthinkable.

"Keep your voice low.. You'll find out.. When we get there" Kokushibo hissed, Keeping his eyes in front of him as he spoke out in a deep, Raspy sort of voice.

Kokushibo could see Kaigaku flinch from the corner of his eyes, A chill running down him at the sound of his voice. Kokushibo hummed. Good, He knew his place.

Eventually they reached the centre of the infinity castle, Looking over the clearing.

The faraway chatter had turned out to be arguing. Douma seemed to be pestering Akaza as usual. Douma seeing a friendly bonding exercise with his subordinates while Akaza only saw it as a taunt, Which was most likely the truth.

"Akaza-dono! Why'd you have to be so cold with me, It's been so long since I've seen you after all!" Douma drawled, A grin plastered wide onto his face like a salesman as he placed another hand onto his shoulder.

Akaza's actions spoke more than his words as a single fist shot up, And in a burst of blood and tendons Douma's arm tore from its socket, Falling helplessly to the ground.

However this only made Douma grin wider, As the limb regrew almost as soon as it was severed.

"It's only been a day, Keep your hand off of me." Akaza said through gritted teeth, Taking a few strides away from Douma.

"Ah! No need to get so offensive now. I guess I've just missed you all so much that it just felt like days! Weeks.. Month even!" Douma mused with a dramatic exclaim, Snapping his fingers together as he watched Akaza walk away.

"Whatever.. Nakime!" Akaza called out, Turning the the woman tuning her biwa only a few feet away on the podium. "The rest of the Uppermoons.. Where are they?" He asked, Steady and firm on his feet.

"Uppermoon one and six have arrived, As for the other two.." Nakime cut herself off, But it didn't matter. Akaza had disingaged and already snapped his head around to look up, Spying both Kokushibo and Kaigaku looking down on them.

Akaza's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the two above him.

"Upper six.. one" He said, Only giving a nod of respect to Kaigaku: Who nodded back rather feverishly towards his superior.

"Akaza.." Kokushibo drawled. All six of his irises stared him down like an ant under his sandal, A stare that made Akaza's muscles tense and his fists ball up.

"I thought I had reminded you.. Last time.. That you ought to show more respect to your superiors.." Kokushibo started. Though his voice was levelled, Akaza could sense the irritation behind his voice. A feeling they shared mutually.

"Kokushibo-dono..! So glad to see you.." Douma called out. Despite the salesman smile still painted on his face, The cheery voice dimmed into a more cautious tone in Kokushibo's presence. Kokushibo ignored him.

"You are continuing to ignore the hierarchy set in place.. As I've said.. Challenge him to a blood battle if you are unhappy.." Kokushibo finished, His calm tone coming to a finality as the remains echoed around the silent atmosphere of the Infinity castle.

He didn't wait for Akaza's response as his overhanging figure suddenly vanished from view, Making Kaigaku yelp from the sudden disappearance of his mentor while Akaza only muttered something angrily under his breath.

Kokushibo manifested a good bit away from the group, Sitting on his knee's in-between one of the hanging castle halls.

What a waste, He thought. Akaza, Even after being as generous to spare him the first time he challenged Kokushibo to a blood battle, Never took his advice.

The first time, He had knocked him to the ground. It hadn't even been five minutes before he had been truly, utterly defeated.

Akaza had lain on the ground, His limbs barely regenerating as he watched Kokushibo slowly walk up to him. His scrutinizing glare burning into Akaza's soul like the suns ray's to his skin. Taunting him, Looking down on him from his unshakable throne.

It would of been better if Kokushibo had just absorbed him, Akaza thought. Even as he was spared it felt like he was an injured bird, Completely dependant on the mercy of whoever came across him.

He hated that feeling, The feeling of him being completely helpless under another's will. He would of rather been absorbed then feel that for the rest of his existence.

Kokushibo on the other hand had felt as if Akaza was wasting his potential.

He had already gotten to Upper three, His potential was there, Almost glowing. Yet he wasted it with his morals, The ones he had carried over from his human life. Akaza refused to consume women, Even went so far as to never lay a hand on one.

Kokushibo had urged Akaza to give up these morals during their fight, It's why it lasted so long anyways. Women did tend to be more nutritious and by not eating them entirely he was cutting off his food source by 50 percent, And Kokushibo had tried his best to convince him of that.

Yet ever-stubborn Akaza refused, While Kokushibo's position was untouchable the same could be said for Akaza's principles. Akaza was weak and refused to change, To get stronger and instead mainly relied on traditional martial arts training.

As the final strum of the biwa reverberated around the castle, Kokushibo knew that it was barely enough. Akaza couldn't protect who he held dear in his human life, Even though he couldn't remember his past he still held his will strong, Carrying on the memory of who he lost.

Kokushibo felt disgusted, Hatred.. And that same spark of green from his human life. And as the meeting finally began, He started to feel like maybe most of it wasn't directed towards Akaza.

And he felt disgusted at that too.

☆♡☆

The cold gusts of wind hit against [F/N]'s face like titanium whips on bare skin, Creating patches of red skin and aching pain.

The blizzard raged on. Both hailstones and large clumps of snow hurled down onto the forest ground, Coating the ground in a thick layer of avalanche. The trees hit each other in the wind, Beating and smashing into each other in the sheer force of the gales.

It was cold. It was so, so cold.

Every inch of [F/N] felt numb, It ached when she moved. Her chest hurt a lot too, So much more than the cold eating away at her. It felt like someone was constantly turning a iron blade inside of her chest, Making sure every sharp end dug into her chest and cut open frozen blood.

It was a reoccurring nightmare. Every time [F/N] fell asleep she woke up in the same place, In the middle of the woods during a snowstorm.

They had started a good long while ago, Around the time she had first became Fujimori. At first she thought it was just another one-off nightmare and decided to ignore it, After all, Nightmares were common in her line of work.

But when they had continued, Night after night after night. [F/N] had had enough and tried to seek help. Doctors, Experts or anyone that could help her she had ran to asking for assistance, Yet nothing that had been provided to her that could help came along.

So after ages of dealing with the Night terrors with no remedy she had decided to stick it through, To see if it would go away on its own.

So now, [F/N] trudged through the rushing winds. Pulling her foot from the snow and slamming it back down in front of her was a herculean task of its own.

The blizzard seemed to pick up on intensity, The snow hitting the ground harder like thrown rocks and pushing [F/N] around in the winds.

She didn't know why she kept moving forward, Keep trying to go further than the last time. She had no reason to, But inside of her aching chest the instinct resonated, It drove her forward. Trying to escape the snowstorm.

However, There was always a point inside the dream. The breaking point, Where her legs couldn't hold anymore, When the weight of her strength died out inside her, Making her collapse into the snow, Burying her alive in it.

When it happened she curled up into a fetal position, Trying her best to hold on to her life force slipping away. She couldn't cry no matter how much she had wanted to, The dehydration burned at her throat making it impossible.

The last thing she felt was.. Warm. The frostbite finally reaching her heart, A bittersweet heat invading her failing organ system as it shut down. She yearned for something, Weakly calling out to someone with her dying breath.

When she finally closed her eyes, Letting the darkness swallow her whole as the last thing she saw was a man coming upon her. A tall figure amongst the storm, Looking at her, Rushing forward with his purple kimono swaying in the wind.

But before she could see his face, Death had already siphoned her. The darkness being the only thing she could see.

[F/N] shot up, Gasping for air.

She looked around frantically, Heart beating like a drum. Survival instincts kicked in trying to quickly examine her surroundings.

Though she relaxed once she saw the wooden inside of the carriage she was in. The rattling of the vehicle moving along the road comforted her, Confirming that she was safe.

She let out a big sigh, Watching as the exhale turn into cold mist in the morning air.

[F/N] raised an eyebrow, Turning to look out the carriage window. It was snowing, The glisten of white sleet covering the ground shone in the pre-dawn sunlight. [F/N] felt her heartrate pick up again once more when she remembered her dream, Only for a split second.

It wasn't the harsh snowfall of a blizzard, Nor was the mist of cold vapour taking up everything in sight. Instead, It was the soft fall of flakes slowly making their way down to the earth, As well as only a whisp of frozen vapour dancing in the air.

It was the kind of fall where you could stand outside catching snowflakes on your tongue, The kind where you could stand idly by with a cup of hot tea in hands; Watching the beauty of cold terrain. [F/N] rubbed her eyes, She wasn't back in her dream.

Judging by the cold she was near the Kakushi base. She had set off at the first sign of the setting sun and had woken up when the sky was still a deep navy blue, Only the cracks of sunlight making their way through the edges of the faraway mountains.

Moving over to the front of the carriage she tapped on the glass window.

"Hey, How long until we reach our destination?" [F/N] called through the window. The driver turned back to look at her for a moment, But ultimately kept his eyes on the road.

"I'm just about to stop up here, Is that alright with you?" The driver responded. [F/N] mumbled out a yes and lain back in her seat.

She watched the snow fall carefully as the carriage ascended up the mountain.

"So, Urm.. Do you have anyone waiting on you, Ma'am?" The drive asked tentatively.

"..Nope, No one in particular." [F/N] replied, Keeping her eyes outside the window watching the snow fall.

They were left in silence for a short moment, Left only to the sounds of turning wheels and a rattling base.

"Then.. I wouldn't suppose you don't know the man down there?" The driver called out after a while.

The corner of [F/N]'s lips quirked, Twitched for a moment as she was brought out of her stupor and put straight into confusion, Caught off guard.

"What man?" [F/N] asked, Her tone raising a little in alarm. Who could be out here at this hour in these weather conditions?

"Eh.. He's a little bit down the road, You might be able to see him from your window." He replied suddenly gathering a bit more in tone at the sound of alarm in her voice.

[F/N] didn't hesitate to peer round, Craning her head as far as it could to try and get a good look at the ma-

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

[F/N]'s limited vision revealed Gyomei Himejima, The Stone Hashira, Standing a good few metre's down the pathway from where they were headed. He didn't move, But from what she could see he was waiting on the carriage passing them.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" The driver asked, Concerned. But by the time he had let out the first word the blinds on the windows had already been shut.

"F-Fine! Just slow down and park in front of the guy, You can leave afterwards. Okay?" She called back to him, Sticking her hand through the little window hole with a handful of cash to which was taken immediatley.

"Alright then.." The driver said, But she didn't hear him as she was already pulling out her rucksack. While Gyomei was blind, He had extraordinary senses. Plus the fact that her voice also changed to a more masculine lilt when she put on the mask.

The fact was that [F/N] was actually a woman was suppose to be a secret, With only a small handful of people including trusted handmaidens, Mitsuri, Shinobu and Oyataka-sama actually knowing about the mask.

It was something she didn't tell anyone, Why she didn't want to say is something she didn't tell anyone either. Though it didn't really matter in that moment, Only the quick rapid succession of her rucksack opening and clothing getting flung everywhere.

Gyomei listened as the carriage rolled down the pathway, The cold seeping into his skin didn't seem to bother him and if it did then he did a good job of hiding it. His hands pressed in that same praying position, Haori flowing in the soft breeze as he heard the carriage come to a halt in front of him.

The door opened with a squeak, The thumping of boots hit the snow with a crunch!

"Himejima-san! Great to see you, What brings you all the way out here?" [F/N] called out, A fabricated cheer in the voice now belonging to him. He walked out a few steps toward Gyomei, Now wearing his slayer uniform and kitsune mask as the carriage went away.

"Fujimori-san.. It is good to know that you are in a cheerful mood." Gyomei said, His voice was filled with the ever-present sorrow. Tears eternally running down his face as he rattled the beads in his hands.

"Of course, I always am.. But uh.. What about my question? What brings you all the way out here?" [F/N] asked. In the corps she was only known by her last name, Fujimori. Her first name might be too much of a give away.

"I believe you are already aware of why, Fujimori-san." Gyomei muttered out. Despite [F/N]'s new tall and imposing form, It felt like comparing a tree to a shrub when in the presence of Gyomei. His height easily towering over him by a good foot.

[F/N] clicked his tongue, He already knew why. Though he felt it appropriate to continue his ignorance.

"..Not a clue, Care to enlighten me?" [F/N] drawled out, Feigning stupidity as the clanking on Gyomei's beads came to a jolting halt.

"..Please, May we not go back and forth like this again.. This is a serious matter." Was all that Gyomei said to [F/N], Yet his words held much deeper implications.

The simple truth was that both [F/N] and Gyomei didn't get along, It wasn't due to anything they had done to each other or anything they've said. But it just so happened that they both had rather conflicting personalities and philosophies.

Gyomei was a buddist monk, [F/N] was a shinto shrine maiden. Gyomei had conviction and it showed through his blade, [F/N] had barely any drive when she drove it into a demon's neck. Gyomei was the ideal hashira and someone to look up to, An idol among men. [F/N] couldn't even show up on time to meetings.

It would be wrong to call the two rivals, Though you couldn't deny the tension that followed the two whenever they were in a room together. [F/N] sighed and pinched the temple of his mask.

"Yeah.. Okay, You got me. Nothing gets past you, Eh?" [F/N] started with a rather sarcastic chuckle "Oyataka-sama sent you 'cause of my resignation letter, Right?"

"Correct."

[F/N] groaned lightly through his mask, He knew he should of expected this yet last night's sake and exhaustion kept it off his mind. "And let me guess.." [F/N] raised a hand to stroke his chin, Making an overdramatic motion. "He sent you to try and change my mind?" He gasped.

Gyomei nodded.

"Right now, We can't afford for you to retire from the corps. Two positions in the Hashira have not been replaced and with your retirement especially the corps is surely to take a blow" Gyomei explained.

[F/N] folded his arms.

"Please do understand, Fujimori-san.. It is your duty as a demon slayer to fight until you are unable, To give it your everything. An oath you swore years ago." Gyomei said, Taking a few slow steps forward towards his colleague.

[F/N] groaned, Not even bothering to hide it this time.

"Oh don't talk to me about Oaths, Gyomei. Have I ever told you how much I hate those?" [F/N] started, The fabricated cheer in his voice now gone and replaced with one of frustration and annoyance as his mask mimicked as such.

"Oaths are just words, Gyomei. No matter how you want to put it or how binding it may seem.. Oaths, Promises or Vows.. They're just words at the end of the day. The only thing that matters is the actions that follow, And you know that I've never given it my all, And right now I feel so tired of this damn job that I might as well be unable.." [F/N] finished, The exhaustion haunting the undertones of his voice like a parasite.

Gyomei frowned a little more.

"If you are so tired of this job.. Then why would you come into this line of work in the first place..? We all have motivations here, And I'm sure you do as well." Gyomei asked.

[F/N] scoffed, Who was he to ask such a personal question? An annoyed tinge rose up inside him, However he felt something else come up along with it.

It was true, Being a demon slayer was hard. It was certain death by many horrible and painful ways, The only reason you'd ever want to be one is for your motivations.

Gyomei's found family of eight was slaughtered by a demon let in by one of the children, Betrayal was his motive. Sanemi's mother slaughtered his siblings, Anger was his. Shinobu, Revenge. Giyuu, Grief. Muichiro, His memories. Even someone like Mitsuri had the simple yet powerful desire to help people.

Everyone had a motivation, Everyone except [F/N].

[F/N] said nothing, His body freezing in place not just from the weather.

"I.. I.." He mumbled.

He twitched his fingers, Shuffled around his foot in the snow as he tried to search for a response.

"..It's cold. We can discuss this later, Ideally in a warmer environment." [F/N] finally concluded.

Gyomei didn't make a move, Only for a second. Then he nodded.

"Alright then.. Let's go then.."

☆♡☆

"The first time in centuries, An opportunity has finally presented itself. A way to conquer the sun." Muzan finished his announcement, His voice echoing out to every corner of the Infinity castle.

He stood far off, On higher ground than any of the uppermoons below him--Some kneeling in respect and others listening patiently.

Muzan's voice, Though still the dark commanding tone persisted, It had a new lilt to it. It was something they had never heard before, It was something lighter and almost relieved if they didn't know any better.

"I fully expect all of you to focus all of your efforts into finding and capturing the Kamado girl. Alive." Muzan emphasised from where he stood pacing, The usual lab equipment he had out was behind him untouched.

At the start of the meeting, When the biwa string called- It had been announced that both Uppermoon five and four had been slew.

First it was the previous number six, Daki and Gyutaro. Their death's hadn't been a spectacle as they were the lowest rank and as Muzan had put it: Predictable. Daki was holding Gyutaro back, End of story.

But now that two Upper ranks were defeated together, The tone in the castle had shifted. The onset of worry now seeping into the atmosphere most evident by both Akaza and Kaigaku.

Though by the end the information brought out by their deaths had brought about a new shift in the air, A way to conquer the sun right at their fingertips.

"From here on out you are to act more diligently. You are not to rest until you find and capture Nezuko Kamado, I don't care how you do it nor do I want to know, You get it done" Muzan finished, Turning away from the audience below.

"Do not disappoint me"

And with that, Shoji doors slammed shut and he had gone.

The silence ruminated loud within the infinity castle, Louder than any shout or scream could ever be. The finality of his words being the only thing whisping away at them.

"Ah.. A demon girl resistant to the sun? How interesting..!" Douma exclaimed from where he sat, A fan raised over his face to conceal the malicious smile creeping up on him. "I wonder.. Which one of us will be able to get to her first?"

Douma looked over at Akaza, Who hadn't moved from his kneeling position on the floor. Though the cracked glass blue of his eyes shifted up to Douma at the hint towards him.

Akaza knew what Douma was doing, And he clenched his teeth at it.

"Akaza-dono.. What about you?" Douma teased, The fan covering his face did no good to hide the edges of his grin which was now spread from ear to ear.

Akaza's lips trembled, The urge to say something itched at his tongue yet the warning Kokushibo had gave him earlier made it feel too heavy to move in his mouth.

"Hmm..?" Douma insisted, Leaning closer towards number three.

"Back. Off" Akaza hissed lowly, The threat only made Douma laugh it off. Though his eyes narrowed as he watched Akaza march off, To which he cocked his head to the side.

"Kaigaku-dono, How about you? As one of the newest members I'm absolutely dying to hear your opinion!" Douma hummed. A predatorial glint shone in his multichromatic eyes as he stared down his subordinate.

Kaigaku froze in place, Looking back at Douma like he had snakes for hair.

"E-Eh..?!" Kaigaku stuttered. His clawed fingers fidgeting with the edges of his ebony kimono, The mere acknowledgement of his superior was enough to send him into a nervous halt.

"Come on, Don't give me the cold shoulder now~!" Douma persisted. Kaigaku gulped.

"W-Well I personally am g-going to-!"

A sudden sensation of freezing water ran down his back, Caught off by the sudden presence lurking behind him.

"Douma.. Maybe if you spent more time taking your duties as Upper two more seriously and less time distracting my Tsuguko.. You would find out who gets the Kamado girl first.." Kokushibo said, Towering behind Kaigaku to look down at Douma.

Though Kokushibo was never one to care what Uppermoons did to their lower counterparts, He did get a little irritated at the lack of commitment to Muzan's cause.

"Ah..! Apologies, Kokushibo-dono. I wish good luck to you..!" Douma called out as he walked off.

"Nakime!" Kokushibo called out to the biwa lady. And with a single strum both Kokushibo and Kaigaku had vanished.

☆♡☆

The large doors to the shrine opened up at the arrival of the two Hashira, The hinges creaking as it revealed the courtyard.

[F/N] and Gyomei walked inside, The courtyard grounds recently salted leaving no indication snow had fallen despite the fading flakes still gliding down.

The Kakushi Base, One of the only few demon slayer headquarters along with The Swordsmith village and the Ubuyashiki estate, As well as the newest. The base was made up of an old Shinto shrine dedicated to Inari [F/N] had came across a few years ago, And in her time as a slayer had been made into The Kakushi base. Before then all operations were relegated to the Ubuyashuki estate.

But now after being renovated several additions to the blueprints were added. More rooms and hallways covering the top half of the mountain for storage and activities. A third floor with several Kasugai crows coming in and out of their aviary assigned with missions. And finally was the library, A place where records of all sorts were kept.

Of course, It still being a shrine did still hold importance as most of the slayer operations had been assigned to the lower floors while the main area was used for religious practice. During the day it was quieter, With only a few shrine-maidens walking about. But at night The Kakushi activity was more prevalent.

Still very early in the morning, A lot of Kakushi were still about and greeted both [F/N] and Gyomei with respect as they passed. Either lurking around for business or resting up.

In the springtime wisteria bloomed all around, Yet as the winter came in the wisteria had died and given entrance for snowfall.

Opening the main doors and closing the door they both felt the relief of the shrine's warmth wash over them from the unrelenting cold outside.

"Welp.. We're here!" [F/N] exclaimed, Resting his hands onto his hips. Gyomei nodded, Turning towards him.

"So.. About your resignation.." Gyomei started, But was instantly interrupted by [F/N]'s groan.

"Ah right, forgot about that.." He breathed, Pinching the temple of his mask. Gyomei shook his head lightly.

"There is no avoiding the topic.. It is better if we discuss this over now than later.." Gyomei stated, Despite the walk giving them enough time to think he hadn't shaken in his opinion "If I may ask.. What do you plan on doing once you retire?"

The question seemed to make [F/N]'s lip twitch, A movement that the mask mimicked perfectly. In that moment, [F/N] silently thanked Inari for Gyomei's blindness.

"..Ah, You know. Drink a surplus of sake.. Go for a real long rest.. Maybe I'll take a little trip abroad north, I'll see if I'm in the mood." [F/N] drawled.

"It pains me to know how little you are dedicated to your job.. Fujimori-san." Gyomei mourned. [F/N] sighed.

"Listen, Himejima-san.. I know-"

"Master?"

A voice cut off from down the hallway they stood in. [F/N] peered over Gyomei's shoulder to find the source.

Genya Shinazugawa stood at the end of the hallway. He was dressed in a sleeping yukata and held a pillow under his arms, [F/N] remarked to himself about how much he looked like his brother.

Gyomei turned around.

"Ah.. Shinazugawa-san.. I see you are doing well.." Gyomei greeted as Genya walked down the hall towards the two Hashira.

Suddenly however, A realisation stabbed into [F/N] like a pike.

"Himejima-san.. Did you bring both of your Tsuguko here..?" [F/N] whispered lowly only Gyomei could hear. [F/N]'s expression seemed empty now, Devoid of emotion and instead replaced with a serious demeanour.

He raised a brow.

"Yes.. Both of them are here, I decided to bring them with me.." Gyomei said. Finally letting Genya catch up to the two of them, He finally noticed Fujimori who went hidden due to Gyomei's height.

Genya stopped once he finally saw [F/N], Realisation of who he was and his portfolio hit him hard, Before bowing in respect.

"F-Fujimori-sama! I'm sorry.. Was I interrupting anything?" Genya asked, Realising the position the two were in.

[F/N] looked once at Genya, Then Gyomei.

"No, No. You're fine.. Apparently the snowstorm outside is going to get worse, You two should stay here for tonight.." [F/N] chuckled, His serious expression now turning light once more before walking off.

"Fujimori-san, We are not-"

"Goodnight, Himejima-san." [F/N] asserted with a finality in tone. [F/N] waved once behind him.

"Rest up, You two!"

☆♡☆

The door closed lightly behind her, A loud click resonating out.

[F/N] took a few barefoot steps down the stairs feeling the warm water submerge her ankles. She sunk further, Watching as the aqua parted to make way for her as she reached waist length.

Mist rose up from the pool, Mixing with the cherry lotus incense drifting through the air and crafting a new potent steamier aroma.

[F/N] felt herself sink until the water reached her neck, Bubbles rising up tickled at her skin once they popped. [F/N] let out a large sigh, As if she had been holding her breath for too long.

"I'll miss this.." She hummed. Her wary muscles relaxing as she felt her entire body melt into mush.

Today had been a long day. When she took her mask off she was just known as [F/N], The head-maiden of the shrine, And being head-maiden brought upon a lot of duties such as leading prayer ceremonies or just the daily tasks around the shrine.

As soon as she had slipped off the mask as Fujimori and came out as [F/N], Her day had started. Brushing the floors, Avoiding Gyomei and his Tsuguko's, Handing out orders to the other maidens in the shrine and tending to both the crows and the injured Kakushi; All in her daily work.

Not to mention her daily training. Four hours of meditation in the morning, Her workout in the afternoon and her night-time prayer ceremony had taken a lot out of her.

So as [F/N] let her aching muscles be remedied by the water, She couldn't help but let her worries slip away from her; Her nightmares, Retirement, Shizuko.. Only to be replaced by the foggy steam of the bathhouse.

She wished she could stay like this forever, To be swept away by the warmth and never get out.

So [F/N] sunk lower, Soon enough the tip of her chin was submerged, Then her mouth, Then her nose. All the way until she could no longer be seen from the surface.

[F/N]'s body floated in the water. Watching as the bathhouse lights become blurrier and blurrier as she descended further, It distorted until it was only a glowing overlay in the aqua.

She heard the sound around her be muffled by the water, The sound of talk in other rooms, A slow click and the soft sound of the bubbles ascending.

Her lips parted, Letting her breaths come up in air pockets and rise back up to the top. Straining her eyes in the water the pressure of it comforted her like a blanket on a cold night, Eternally staring up at the distorted light as her breath was taken away.

Her lungs depressed, But it didn't matter. To [F/N] this was Nirvana, Heaven or Valhalla, Whatever you believed to be waiting for you after death. Her lungs depressing wasn't important now.

In truth, [F/N] was a shintoist, She has been for as long as she could remember. She believed once people died they returned to nature, Their souls energy going back to where they came.

It sounded peaceful to her, Warm, Never cold. The last bit of oxygen escaped her trained lungs; Lips finally closing.

The water only got hotter, Bubbles rising up quicker and quicker before suddenly her eyes bolted open, Now aware of the presence in the room.

The light she had been staring at was obscured by a hazy figure. She rose up quicker than she had sunk gasping for air.

She surfaced with a large splash, Making the figure flinch away from the sudden movement. A loud desperate inhale let out only interrupted by coughs erupting from her throat.

She flung the top half of her body over the edge of the pool, Hanging on as if her life depended on it and coughing up spurts of water.

"Ah! I'm so sorry, I thought..-" The figure stuttered. [F/N] hauled her head up to find that it was a young boy clad in demon slayer uniform, A checkered haori hanging off him.

"W-What the.. Who are you?" [F/N] wheezed, Wiping her lips. She could of sworn she had locked the door, How someone got in here evaded her.

"Ah.. My name is Tanjiro Kamado, I came in here because I saw Fujimori-san's haori on the hook outside.. Um.. I'm so sorry, I must of been mistaken.." Tanjiro apologised, Quickly turning away.

The checkered haori, Right.

"N-No.. No.. What is it that you want Fujimori-san for?" [F/N] asked, Spitting out the last of the water.

"Oh, Uh.. I was told that he had some information on my breathing style from Kanroji-san, Do you know where he is by any chance?" Tanjiro said, Not turning around.

"No, But I'm the head shrine-maiden here, I know just about as much as he does.." [F/N] said.

"Really? Would it be alright if I talked to you for a bit?" Tanjiro asked, Back still turned to the woman digging her nails into the floorboards.

"Sure.. Just, Why aren't you turning around?" [F/N] asked.

"U-Um.. You're sort of.. Naked?" He responded nervously.

"Ah! Get out, Get out!" [F/N] screamed out, Grabbing and holding up one of her sandles to throw.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! AHHHH-!"

☆♡☆

[F/N] sat herself down on the tatami mat, Fixing up her haori.

"Well then, I apologise for my indecency earlier.. I believe you had some information you wanted to know about breathing styles?" [F/N] asked. Picking up the cup of sake-infused tea she took a sip, The boiling liquid not affecting her as it ran down her throat.

Both Tanjiro and [F/N] sat in one of the rooms of the shrine, Sitting on parallel sides of their little table with a tea-set hot and ready.

At the back on [F/N]'s side was a handmaiden watching over them with the teapot in hand, Ready to serve.

"Yes! I've been to several places around including Mr. Rengoku's old estate, However their records were unfortunately.. Damaged. I was hoping you would have any records or information for me." Tanjiro explained, Picking up his own cup of tea he blew on it before he took a short sip.

[F/N] hummed.

"Describe your breathing style to me." [F/N] asked, Setting her cup down.

"Like.. How it looks?"

"Yep.. How it looks." She confirmed

Tanjiro took a second to think.

"Well.. It's kind of like Mr. Rengoku's breathing, But it's more.. Bright. It's hotter.. I learned water breathing from the old water hashira and this one from my father… He called it Hinokami Kagura." Tanjiro said, Snapping his fingers at the end in recollection.

[F/N]'s finger circled the rim of the cup.

"Hinokami Kagura… I see.." She drawled "Well, Nothing exactly comes to mind.." She finished, Careful to pronounce every syllable while distracted by her thoughts.

Tanjiro's smile dropped ever so slightly.

"Ah.. Alright then, Thank you anyways for your help.." He said as he bowed his head down.

"..But the library may have something that could give you some insight" [F/N] continued.

Tanjiro perked his head up, Eyes slightly opening in interest.

"The library?" He queried

"Yes, The library. It's on the other side of the shrine, First floor. It holds the vast majority of information collected over a few centuries, Both relating to demon slayers and not. If there is any info about your breathing at all then it will be there in the library." [F/N] said. She recalled the several nights mulling over the information in there for her nightmares, If anything was it would be there.

Tanjiro nodded, The smile reappearing in his face.

"This is very helpful, Thank you so much… Um.." A look of puzzlement came over him. "I'm sorry.. You never told me your name?"

"Oh.. My name is [F/N-"

A sudden throb came from her chest, An ache making her keel over on the table, Dropping her boiling hot tea all over the tatami mat.

[F/N] yelped out in pain as The Handmaiden from behind her rushed over to [F/N]'s side with a napkin. Tanjiro also got up and ran to her adjacent side.

"[F/N]-sama! Are you alright?" The handmaiden asked in concern, Trying to dry the stains left on her kimono.

[F/N] only gripped the core of her chest, Pressing down hard and grabbing a fistful of her kimono in the process. She coughed up liquid from within her throat, To which her handmaiden, Maika, Provided a handkerchief for.

"Is it your chest, [F/N]-sama?" Maika pleaded as [F/N] wiped the last of the residue off her mouth.

[F/N] nodded.

"I-I'll go get some medicine! I'll be back soon!" Maika exclaims. She suddenly gets up from her position comforting [F/N] to rush out of the room in search of a remedy.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Tanjiro asked with concern, Resting a hand on [F/N]'s shoulder.

"Yes.. I'm fine.." [F/N] said through clenched teeth. This must of been an after-affect of her bath earlier, A small bit of water probably still lingered in her lungs causing her body to cough it back up.

Tanjiro's nose twitched, His expression only got more wary. [F/N] noticed, Catching the spasm easily she waved him off.

"I'm fine.. Just, I'll take you down to the archives tomorrow alright? I need a bit more rest tonight.." She said. Looking up to the younger boy's singed eyes, Who stared back into hers with a sincere truth.

"..Alright then, Thank you for your time anyways.. [F/N]-san" He bowed his head lightly and got up from the kneeling position on the floor.

"Goodnight, Tanjiro." [F/N] called out to him as he left, He smiled and bowed once more before closing the shoji door entirely.

She was once again left alone in the solidarity of the tea-room. Lukewarm tea splotches dried into her kimono and the tatami mat around her.

The slow throbbing ache in her chest remained in her chest, Small wheezes coming out under her breath every time her lungs decreased. [F/N] chided herself for her stupidity, She should of been more aware of her surroundings, She should of checked.

The shoji door slid open once more, Revealing Maika standing awkwardly in the doorway, Fiddling with her hair.

"So.. Erm.. It turns out due to the current winter.. We're out of the necessary ingredients to make a herbal remedy and.." Maika stuttered, Avoiding eye contact with the woman hunched over infront of her.

"It's fine, Maika.." [F/N] said. However her words didn't do much to stop Maika.

"..H-However the nearest village should have some in stock, I'll go down and gather the right ingredients for you!" She explained.

"..Maika, The snow outside has picked up. I don't want you to get hurt so it's probably best if you stay inside before it gets any worse." [F/N] explained.

"But.. Uhm.. Uhh.." Maika stuttered, Trying to stall enough time to come up with a good reason.

Maika, One of the newer, Younger shrine-maidens. A small mousy sort of girl with untidy golden hair shepherded with ribbons into a ponytail, Complete with the shrine maiden uniform of red hakama trousers and a white kosobe. She had passed final selection yet had refrained from becoming both a slayer and a kakushi.

So she came to the shrine instead to become a maiden, It only made sense that she would want to prove herself to [F/N]. To do her best, To be of some help to people she cared about.

[F/N] supposed she could understand.

"Alright then." [F/N] cut off Maika's babble with two single words. Her eyes widened and sparked up in the light.

"R-Really?! Okay! Uhm.. I'll go do it then..!" Maika exclaimed, Turning around to move outside the room.

"But!" [F/N] interrupted. Maika turned back around.

"If you are to go out, You must find some heavier clothing. And don't try to descend the mountain alone, Find a Kakushi to come with you, Okay?" [F/N] laid down the rules to her like a mother explaining them to her child.

Maika nodded rather feverishly.

[F/N] smirked, Only slightly.

"You'll do good here, Maika." [F/N] mumbled, Maika's face lit up in a large smile ear to ear.

"Thank you, [F/N]-sama! I won't disappoint!" She exclaimed. And with that, She was off.

☆♡☆

[F/N] lay on her futon, Her eyes heavy with drowsiness and stress. She waited on Maika coming back. She didn't mean to lie down, But unfortunately the dragging weights of exhaustion had brought her to her futon, Defeated by the day.

She didn't want to fall asleep. The ever-present threat of the nightmares ate at her mind like Oneiroi. If she could choose to stay awake forever, She would.

However as [F/N] stared up at the ceiling and saw the dark curtains close over her eyes, She could feel the singe of the chill on her skin. The crawling cold sweat running down her neck as the darkness left and the blizzard faded into view.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath in, Letting out mist as she exhaled.

And as she opened them back up, The storm had risen.

☆♡☆

Kaigaku trudged through the snow, The cold tickling his sandals barely affecting him as he navigated his way through the dark alleyways in search of a meal.

The village had barely anyone in it. He knew as Uppermoon six he could of easily wiped out the entire town, But he liked the game, The hunt for prey, Not the one and done destruction.

His artic coloured eyes scanned over the group of people over at the market, Though dwindled by the storm the crowd was still there, Gathered round the snow covered stall.

He looked at everyone of them, His teeth bare and wide not being able to contain his giddy smile.

He wondered how he could lure each of them individually, How easy it would be to make them cower in front of him, Squeezing out all the superiority from them and consuming it like a parasite.

Then he'd bite into their limbs, Tearing them apart as they screamed and cried for help. Kaigaku couldn't hold back much longer, The mere hunger pounding at his stomach ached for him to feed.

But then, One specific person came into focus.

They had ran over to the stall he was staring at in a hurry. A look of urgency in their eyes, But that's not what drawed him in, No.

It was the kakushi uniform they had adorned.

He seemed to be accompanying another girl, Of what looked like to be a shrine-maiden. They both had ran up to the merchant, Asking for herbs.

His eyes widened at the sight. If he couldn't hold back his grin by now then he was smiling like a madman in a straightjacket at this point.

Kakushi, Rarely seen yet held such worthwhile information for demons. He licked his lips, He could hold off his hunger for just a little while longer.

This was a chance to prove himself to Kokushibo after all.

Next Chapter

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writting-stuff-sometimes · 1 year

Text

Christmas time - Charles x fem reader

Summary: You return home for Christmas and fin yourself spending it with and old lover and his family.

Warnings: None, just fluff and some angst.

AN: From the topic, you might know since when I've been working on this but I finally decided to finish it, I was going to wait till Christmas to publish it but what the heck. As you can see I have a thing for exes, writing here it's cheaper than therapy. As always feedback it's appreciated, accepting requests, and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

Christmas had always been a confusing time for you, you thought of it as too cheese but at the same time you could spend a whole weekend just watching and crying over Christmas

movies, so now that you were coming back home for the holidays after being away for so long, it felt as if you were in one of them.

You had been living in the US for 5 years, and like in all those stupid chick flicks, you had moved to the other side of the world because you wanted to escape your life after a painful breakup and the US was far enough from everyone you knew, and a certain sport your ex was part of. You were supposed to be studying there for 2 years but then the pandemic hit and you got stuck, you found a job that started as a part time but eventually became full time.

"Mom, are you serious? isn't Christmas a holiday you're supposed to spend with family?" you said as you struggle to wrap a present.

"What are you talking about? The Leclerc's are family! Don't you remember how many vacations we've spend together? the summers at the lake and winters up in the cabin? You, Lorenzo and Charles in your onesies playing in the snow as baby Arthur followed all of you around?"

Now you were kind of getting why you felt how you felt about christmas, your mom was in love with the holiday and it was cute but exhausting at the same time.

"Have you talk to them? I heard they went to the US a couple of times this year" In her defense, she had no idea you and Charles had been dating for a few months, actually as far as you knew only your best friend and Lorenzo knew about it after they found you making out in his kitchen one night after a party.

"No, we lost track of each other after I moved" you lied and returned to your wrapping task, actually Charles did try reaching out to you when he found out you moved and again when he went to race there, but you had all rights to ignore his calls and messages, the day you broke up he had been an ass.

_____________

The fight started when you confronted him about some pictures of him at a nightclub in Austria, you had no problem with him having fun after a stressful weekend, the girl grinding her ass against his body, his hand on her waist and the fact that it wasn't the first time this had happened, was the problem.

"It was a fan, I didn't want to be rude", Clearly this superstar status had gone to his head. "They don't know I have a girlfriend! You want me to be rude?"

"And who decided we shouldn't tell anyone?"

"You know why I don't want them to..."

"Yeah, yeah protecting our privacy, I would buy that story if you weren't going around the fucking world letting girls grind against you every five fucking minutes!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I won't change my mind about it" The defiant look on his face told you everything you needed to know and now it was your turn to make a decision.

"Don't worry, you don't have to lie to your fans anymore" You stormed out of his room, that was the last time you spoke to each other.

You cried for weeks, you actually loved him but seeing pictures of him with a different girl at parties and nightclubs after every race weekend was just too painful. It only took you a couple of weeks to realize that staying in Monaco was a bad idea, his face and name were all over the place. One day, like a miracle fallen from the sky, one of your teachers told you about a scholarship to study in the US, you didn't think it twice and applied, and two months later you were boarding a plane to New York.

A couple of days after you arrived to the US, Charles tried every posible way of getting in touch with you, but you sticked to your decision and ignored all his messages.

You couldn't actually say you had fallen out of love, the good moments had been amazing and those you would cherish forever. _______

"I don't have anything to wear tho" it was a lame excuse but you really wanted to escape the awkward christmas weekend your mom had planned.

"Oh, don't worry about it, I bought you a cute dress, it's in your closet!"

You finished loading the van with the tons of things your mom wanted to take for the weekend-long stay at the Lecrerc's cabin and finally went upstairs to deal with the stress of seeing your ex, you threw yourself on your childhood bed and closed your eyes.

"Hi sweety, can I come in?" Your dad knocked on your door.

"Dad! Of course" You rushed to hug him

"I missed you so much" he said as he kissed your head.

"Miss you too"

"You need to come more often" he brushed your hair like he used to when you were little.

"I know, I wish I could"

"Honey, don't forget to try on the dress" Your mom yelled from downstairs and you sight in exhaustion, you loved your mom but spending the holidays with your ex and his family wasn't on your list for a great christmas.

"I know, but Pascale has been really nice to your mom now that you've been away, you know how much she misses you"

"I was expecting to be just with you guys"

"C'mon sweety, this will be fun. Aren't you excited to see a certain Leclerc?" a mischievous smile on your dad's face made your heart fall to your feet.

"What are you talking about?" you almost choked on your own saliva.

"Darling, we all knew about your crush on Lorenzo, it was endearing" you unclenched your jaw when you heard Lorenzo's name. Your dad wasn't wrong tho when you were like 5 or 6 you had a crush on your friend's big brother; it was natural, you used to spend a lot of time at their house, and he was older and very attractive.

"That was a long time a go, dad" You smiled at the memory.

"I know, but it will be nice to spend some time all together, specially after they lost Hervé and our only daughter decided to move so far away" He looked at you with such loving eyes, you could just say yes with your head "Your mom's been quiet for too long, let me go see what that lady is up to" he hugged you again and left your room.

You walked to your closet and took the dress cover bag.

"Are you serious?" you couldn't help to say out loud as you took the red body con dress from the hanger. It was a beautiful, but it being ferrari red felt like life was mocking you. You took a couple of calming breaths as you tried to accept that you were fucked, the only "party" attire in your suitcase wasn't exactly family gathering material and it was too late to go shopping, that dress was your only option.

The next morning before the sun was up you were already in the back of your mom's van on your way to the country side, it was a two hour drive to the Leclerc's cabin, you tried to catch some sleep and fight the jet lag, but anxiety wouldn't let you and before you knew it you were parking next to a red alfa romeo.

"Oh my God!! Y/n!!! darling, what a wonderful surprise" a surprised Pascale rushed to hug you as soon as you got off the van.

"Hi, it's nice to see you too" You hugged her back, you did really like Pascale, she had always been like a second mother.

As she turned to greet your dad, you turned to your mother.

"They didn't knew I was coming?" You asked in a low voice.

"No, I wanted for it to be a cute surprise" Your mom said with a big smile and then turned to hug her best friend.

"Come on in, the boys are going to be so happy to see you" She took you by the shoulders and dragged you inside the house as you pulled your suitcase.

"I wouldn't bet on it" you thought to yourself.

"Boys! come help with the bags!" She yelled as she entered the house "Wait 'till they see you!, want something to drink?" She pulled you inside the kitchen.

"Mom, where are we putting tomorrow's dinner thi..." Charles cut himself off and stopped in the middle of the kitchen entrance when he saw you.

"Mate, move! you're in the way" Arthur pushed Charles to the side walking in with a couple of bags "Y/N!" the youngest Leclerc let the bags fall over the kitchen table and rushed to hug you.

"Hi, Art" You said almost out of breath from the tight hug. "Oh my, you look so grown up!"

"Don't be fooled, it's just the outside" Said Lorenzo as he entered the kitchen with more bags, setting them on the table and pushing Arthur away to hug you "It's so nice to see you"

"Same" You hugged him back.

"This is a Christmas miracle" Lorenzo said as he turned to look at Charles with a cheeky grin on his face, he knew exactly what was happening and he found it incredibly amusing "I'm so glad I didn't skip christmas this year" He whispered as he walked past Charles.

"Shut up" Charles whispered back.

"Hi, Y/n" Charles left the bags on the floor, walked towards you and got his arms around your body as you shily hugged him back, his scent and body heat felt so familiar like it had been just a couple of days since the last time you two had been cuddling in his bed. "It's nice to see you," he said against your ear, his soft warm breath brushing your neck giving you goosebumps.

"It's nice to see you too"

You could feel Lorenzo's sight on you as he was bitting his cheek trying not to burst out laughing at the awkwardness between you two, thank God it was only him who noticed.

All of you finished unloading the van and tried to organize the sleeping situation.

"I can totally sleep on the couch, Pascale, don't worry about it" You said as soon as she offered to give you Charles' room.

"Oh no darling, you're not sleeping on the couch, Charles can sleep with Lorenzo or with Arthur, don't worry about it"

"But..."

"Don't even try, you won't convince her, let me" Said Charles taking your bag from your hand and walked up the stairs.

You followed him to his room. As soon as you walked in a thousand memories rushed trough your mind, during your relationship you had gone up to that cabin a few times, it was the only place you two could be alone.

"Thanks" You said in a low voice when he left your bag on his bed.

"You're welcome" He turned to look at you, you held his gaze a couple of seconds before his beautiful green eyes got your heart rushing a thousand miles and you had to look somewhere else trying to catch your breath, you walked to his closet to hang the dress bag.

"I called you, several times"

"I know" You said as you awkwardly played with the plastic material.

"I wanted to..."

"Mate, mom is calling you" Arthur walked in startling both of you.

"I'll be right there"

"Now" Said Arthur and walked down the stairs.

"We should go" you nervously said and followed Art downstairs.

Your mom, Pascale, Enzo and yourself prepared lunch as your dad talked to Arthur and Charles about the last racing season.

The whole group sat to have lunch, Pascale asked you about your life in New York, your apartment, your job, your friends.

"...and is there a special someone?" your mom's friend asked with a mischievous grin on her face, you noticed how Charles tensed at the question and Lorenzo noticed too.

"Yeah, are you breaking many hearts?" Lorenzo added, softly kicking his brother under the table, Charles flipped him off discretely as he "scratched" his cheek.

"Not as many as you Enzo, are you still dating Adrianne?" You diverted the attention successfully.

After lunch everyone moved to sit outside around the deck fireplace, night came and it started snowing which meant it was time to go to sleep, there was a lot to do the next morning.

You laid in Charles's bed, his scent was as intoxicating as it was soothing, you couldn't lie, you missed that smell, once you even ended up dating a guy just because he used the same cologne.

After an hour of trying to fall asleep and failing miserably at it, you gave up and decided to go prepare yourself a hot cup of tea. You got your robe on and walked down to the kitchen.

You prepared your tea and went to sit outside by the fireplace, the snow had stopped, it was cold but a couple of logs were still burning to give just enough heat to make it enjoyable.

"You're going to catch a cold" Charles' voice scared you, making you spill some hot tea over your hand.

"Ahhh, ouch"

"Shit!" Charles rushed to your side taking some snow from one of the chairs, he kneeled in front of you and placed the snow over your hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to scare you" he turned to look at you.

"It's ok" He kept his hand on yours, and you stood still for a while as the snow melted between your hands.

"I'm sorry" he said again.

"It's ok, it wasn't that hot anymore"

"I'm not talking about the tea" his voice in that low pitch that let you know this was a serious matter.

"Charles, you don't need to... I don't...I'm.." You had no idea what to say, you had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in your head and had worked amazing responses to every possible apology or complaint, but having him right there, kneeling in front of you with his hand caressing yours was just too much for your brain to process, you couldn't even look at him.

"Listen, I was an asshole, I let stupid ideas get to my head, I did a lot of stupid things, and I've regretted them every single day since the moment you walked out my door."

"Y/n" he took your chin and made you look up at him "I'm sorry, I've missed you so fucking much" your chest moved faster, no coherent thought in your mind.

"It's getting cold, we should go inside" you removed your hand from his and walked directly to his room without looking back. You were overwhelmed, you still had feelings for him, but it had been too long, you had a life in New York. It broke your heart to think that maybe you had wasted your only chance to be with him.

It was around 3 or 4 am when you finally cried yourself to sleep.

A soft knock on the door woke you up.

"Come in" you sat on the bed and tried to fix your hair.

"Good morning" Lorenzo walked in the room, a tray in his hands with a cup of coffee and a couple pancakes.

"Hi, thanks" You took the tray from his hands and took a small sip of coffee, it was so good.

"You're welcome, I figured that after staying up late you could use some breakfast in bed" You looked at him confused.

"My window it's right above the deck"

"Oh, sorry about that"

"Don't worry about it. But, he really is sorry, you have no idea how many times he begged for me to call you, he knew you would answer my calls, but to be honest I didn't think he deserved you then"

"And now?"

"I've been to New York, it ain't that cool, and I would love to see you around Monaco and the tracks more often" He winked at you and walked out of the room.

You had your breakfast in bed as you tried to figure out what the fuck were you supposed to do with what you felt and what Lorenzo had told you. It was almost noon, you had a shower and finally walked downstairs to help with the Christmas preparations for that evening.

The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing, your mom and Pascale were the greatest cooks you've ever met, actually, their food was one of the things you missed the most after you moved.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I ordered some bread from the town and I think we might need a couple more wine bottles" Pascale said as she looked at a message on her phone.

"I can go pick it up" You offered, you were used to being questioned by your mom every time you called home, but now there were two of them bombarding you with a ton of questions, making you feel a bit overwhelmed, so a lonely trip to the village seemed like a great way to take a breather.

"Darling, I don't know, you haven't driven on this side of the road for a while, and the road might be snowed" If only your mother knew how many times you had taken Charles's car out for a spin and done pretty reckless stunts.

"I can drive you" Charles offered walking in the kitchen.

"Yes, let Charles drive you" Great, it had gone from bad to worse.

"But...ok" You knew trying to convince your mom to let you go on your own was a lost cause and saying no to the offer would seem weird and offensive, you took your jacket and walked outside.

You both were so nervous, the only sound in the car was the music coming from the speakers, you couldn't help to look at him out of the corner of your eye, he was tense as he kept a tight grip on the steering wheel and you found it incredibly attractive, one of the things you enjoyed the most when dating Charles was looking at him as he was driving, the way his hands worked the steering wheel and his sight focused on the road was something that turned you on.

You finally got to the village and walked inside a small store, you split the list of things and walked your own way to get them all.

"Y/n?" someone called your name behind you.

"Oh my, Ed, hi!" You hugged the guy standing behind you, he had been one of your uni classmates.

"It's so nice to see you, how's everything, how's New York?"

"It's good, how are you?"

"Same old, same old, how long are you going to be here? We should go get a coffee or something"

"Y/n" Charles spoke before you could answer "Two chardonnays should be good? we have 3 merlots at home" He said showing the two wine bottles he was holding in his left hand, as his right arm grabbed you nonchalantly by the waist.

"Oh, sorry mate, hi, Charles" Charles left the wine bottles in the shopping cart and extended his hand to shake Ed's but kept his arm around you.

"Hi, no worries, you are... Charles Leclerc"

"Yeah"

"Wow, uhm, big fan"

"Thanks" Charles smiled at your friend, from the outside this all seemed innocent and nice, but you knew he was marking his territory. "We need to hurry, we still need to stop by the bakery" He said looking at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat, it had been so long since he had looked at you in that way.

"I should go too, I still got some presents to buy, it was nice to see you y/n, and nice to meet you Charles, good luck on the next season"

"Thanks, mate, appreciated" Charles shook his hand, and as you took a step forward to kiss your friend goodbye, his arm never left your body. When Ed was out of sight you turned to look at Charles inquisitively as he took the spices from your hand and placed them in the tiny shopping cart.

"Let's go" He pushed the cart as if nothing had happened and walked to the register.

"Stop looking at me like that" he finally said as you were on the drive back to the cabin.

"That was low"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he faked innocence.

"Make him think we're together, that was low"

"You went with it, didn't you?" You instantly blushed at his comment.

"I did it just so you wouldn't look like a fool"

A soft breathy laugh left his mouth as he turned to stop in a hiking trail parking lot.

"What are you doing?" you asked confused as he turned off the car.

"Come" he got off the car, confused you did as he said, he leaned against the hood of the car and you walked towards him.

"Charles?" You asked as you stood a safe distance from him, your arms crossed over your chest.

"We need to talk"

"Charles, please, I..." You rubbed your eyes in slight despair, you were pretty much in the middle of nowhere there was no escaping from him this time.

"Please, just listen to me, if when I'm done you don't want to talk about it anymore, we'll get in the car and we never talk about this ever again, but right now, just listen to me, ok?" his beautiful green eyes made you weak and you couldn't say no.

"Ok"

"Y/n, I really am sorry, I swear nothing happened with any of those girls, I never cheated on you..."

"Charles..."

"Shut... up!" His voice was a soft growl as he took you by your arms and pulled you a little closer to him, you stared into his eyes, frozen "Please, listen to me, I know I've said I'm sorry like a million times in the last 24 hours, but I really feel like I owe you so many apologies. I was an asshole, I could try to explain myself but at the end of the day I was young and stupid, and I let this "famous driver" shit get to my head, I lost myself, and on the way, I ended up losing the most amazing and wonderful woman ever. I pushed you away and you had all right to kick me out of your life, but please, if there's just one small part of you that would like to try this again, please, I'm begging you, just give me one more chance, please"

You felt your heart rush, you had thought about this moment a million times, and 90% of them the answer was negative, not because you didn't love him, but because you could see how happy he was without you, winning races, taking pictures with fans, partying with the rest of the drivers, having the freedom he seemed to miss when he was with you.

"Y/N?"

"How do I know this isn't going to end up badly? You've been single for the last 5 years, are you sure you want to give up all you have?"

"I'm not the same idiot you left 5 years ago, I swear, I don't need anyone but you, I don't WANT anyone but you" He pulled you closer, his arms around your waist in a tight hug as you keep your arms crossed over your chest trying to put as much distance between you two. "I know I'm asking for a lot, you have a life somewhere else and I swear I wouldn't be asking for another chance if I didn't actually mean it, I swear on everything that's sacred for me, that I'm going to do my best to make this work and make you the happiest girl in the world, but please give me another chance"

"Are you sure this isn't just the holiday blues? what if I hadn't come this Christmas, would you feel the same?" Your rational side fighting hard against the side that just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.

"Do you really think I just came up with this?" A soft smile escaped his lips as he unhooked one of his arms from around your waist and took his cell phone from his jacket, he clicked around for a bit, then turned the screen towards you as he slowly scrolled through the screen, there were dozens of undelivered messages, you could only catch a few words but most of them were of how much he missed you and begging for you to forgive him and come back. "The last one is from last week, I've missed you every day for five years"

You turned to look at him, this movement from your head making the tears that flooded your eyes fall down your cheeks. He got his phone inside his jacket and cleaned your tears with his fingers.

"I love you, y/n, and you can say no, I don't want to force you to do anything, you don't even have to give me an answer right now, but just think about it, ok?"

You couldn't talk and you just nodded your head.

"Good, now let's go, it's getting dark" He leaned in and kissed your lips so softly that if your eyes had been closed you would have doubted it ever happen. He led you to the passenger seat, opened the door for you, and then went to get inside the car.

You drove in silence again, you knew your answer but were you making the right decision?

As he pulled next to your parent's van you fixed yourself as much as you could.

"Darling, what took you so long?" Pascale walked towards you to help with the bags.

"Sorry, I found an old friend and caught up talking" You excused yourself before Charle could say anything.

As the boys helped with setting the table and bringing in more wood for the fireplace, you couldn't help to notice how good was the relationship between your dad and the Leclerc boys, he had turned into their father figure and it filled your heart, you knew this kind of relationship between your dad and any other guy in your life was going to be impossible. Tears started forming in your eyes again.

"All done" you said setting the last couple of cookies on the cooling rack "I'm going to get dressed" You quickly removed the apron and rushed upstairs before anyone could notice your watery eyes.

As you walked inside the bedroom you saw a small red box on the bed, you took it and opened it slowly to find a beautiful gold tuberose necklace and a handwritten note inside.

"I've had this for years and I finally got the chance to give it to you, I remember that night you called our love a "Tuberose love" because it seemed it only bloomed hidden in the dark, but this is a gold tuberose, it can bloom day or night, as long as it's around your neck.

I love you, always,

Charles"

You cried and held the beautiful necklace in your hand.

You showered and got ready, you looked at yourself in the mirror, the red dress looked better than you ever imagined, maybe that Ferrari red wasn't a bad idea after all, maybe that color could grow on you again. You got the necklace around your neck, the gold piece shining perfectly over the fabric.

"Come on kids, it's time" Your dad yelled from downstairs, you took a last deep breath and walked down to meet everyone.

Charles' eyes lit up as soon as he saw you enter the dining room, his sight focused on the gold detail hanging from your neck and he couldn't help to smile, he pulled the chair by his side and gestured you to take a seat next to him.

You sat by his side as everyone else took their places, he looked around and you took his hand under the table, he turned to look at you and you noticed his eyes were red as if he was about to cry.

"All good?" you whispered worried

"Never been better" he smiled and gave your hand a little squeeze.

You had dinner, the best Christmas dinner to date.

It was close to 3 am when the parents decided it had been enough for them and left for bed, Lorenzo and Arthur went to get some more wood and Charles took the chance to sit next to you on the living room floor, putting a blanket over your bodies as he placed his arm around your shoulders.

"Thanks" you said taking the necklace and looking at it.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it" He kissed your hair.

"I love it... not as much as I love you, tho" You finally said, his face turned fast to look at you as you turned to look at him.

"So... you...uhm" He stutter

"Did I just make Charles Leclerc stutter?" you smiled teasingly.

"Shut up" he said as he took your face and pulled you in for a kiss, that kiss you had waited for so long.

"What the hell?" Arthur yelled as he dropped the logs on the living room floor.

"Well, this time it can't be a secret, this one can't keep his mouth shut" Said Lorenzo leaving the logs next to the fireplace.

"This time? why am I always the last one to find this shit out!?, You have a lot of explaining to do" Said Arthur inquisitively as he sat across from you.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

#f1 imagine #f1 fiction #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fic #f1 x y/n #charles leclerc x reader

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