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crazy4myself · 21 days

Text

No Harm List | Pt. 14

Word count: 5.5k ish

Warnings: explicit language, violence, sexual themes

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

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A/N: Hiii lovelies I know it had been literal years since I’ve properly updated. To avoid confusion you may want to go back a few chapters to refresh; I recommend part 12. Also some of the next few chapters may look familiar bc I re-wrote them. But I think you will like this version much better :)

“Why did you avoid me after we kissed?” you asked again, your voice clear. You did not make yourself elaborate. You didn’t tell him how you’ve felt lost and helpless these weeks. And if you could take it back, you would. But if you were honest with yourself, no part of you really wanted to.

You just looked at him expectantly and watched him squirm in the silence. “Because.. I’m a coward,” he offered, looking down at his hands.

Your silence was loud in the air between you, pressuring him to keep talking, “I was scared because BTS has already put you in so much danger already. I mean, we're not even dating, and you were basically held hostage.”

“Don’t pin this on me.” you cut him off. You knew it was a valid point, but it wasn’t his only reason for not talking to you. “Whether or not I endanger myself to date you is a decision for us to make. Why did you avoid me?” you asked again.

“I was scared. I was scared it was an impulsive or pity kiss after being shot. I was scared you didn’t have feelings for me, so I avoided the rejection.”

You quirked a brow in disbelief. Oh, sure, he was scared of you rejecting him. “It’s true!” he insisted.

“And I don’t even know if I could date you,” he added, and you felt a part of your chest ache at the confession.

“I don’t know if I'm capable of dating with my lifestyle. It's not only a safety hazard, but I don't know if I’m capable of giving you any more of myself than I already have. I think about you all the time. And I love spending time with you. But our friendship, where we were before that kiss, it’s all I know how to give people.”

He turned to you, eyes searching your face for any signs of hurt or betrayal, but he couldn’t read your expression as you quietly whispered, “And what if I told you that’s enough?”

Jungkook parted his lips but was at a loss for words.

“I’ve never really dated,” you explained, “And I don't think I know how to. And school is so stressful, and the program is only going to get more complex. I’m not sure I have time to learn and figure out the ‘right’ way to do it.” You paused as you saw his eyebrows furrow in confusion, and you realized how contradictory you were sounding.

“I like you, Jungkook. I like what we have, and I liked kissing you. But before now, I didn’t think I could date you. Not because of the whole ‘gang’ thing. But because I think-” your voice cracked, “I think something in me broke when I lost Daewon. I never,” You paused to swallow.

“I will never let anyone in like that again because it hurt so bad when I lost her. And we weren’t even together romantically. So, imagine how bad it would hurt to lose a partner?” a hot tear rolled down your cheek, and Jungkook reached up to wipe it. You leaned into the comforting heat of his touch as his callused thumb rubbed soothingly on your cheek.

“What I’m trying to say is we both clearly have boundaries and walls. And we both suck at keeping the other out of some of them. So what if we loved eachother in whatever fucked up way we know how and at least reap the benefits of having shitty partners?” You offered with a hesitant smile.

“The benefits being?” Jungkook asked with a quirked brow.

Mischief glinted in your eyes as you smiled at him before lifting onto your knees and crawling towards him on the couch. Jungkook knew this conversation wasn’t over. He knew he should stop you and assure you that nothing about you was broken for being cautious about who you loved. He wanted to tell you that you were good and kind and would make an incredible partner in any capacity, and he was worried he wouldn’t deserve what you were willing to give. But his mind went blank as you inched so close that he could feel your breath against his face as you murmured, “I can think of a few.”

You moved confidently but still grazed your lips against his in the softest touch as if asking for permission.

Jungkook leaned forward, capturing you in the kiss and pulling you into his lap. It was just as hungry as last time, as if he had been waiting to taste you again. Jungkook felt his body come alight at the joy of feeling you pressed against him. His hands rubbed eagerly against your thighs before wandering up your sides, your arms, and your shoulders as he took all of you in.

The touch wasn’t as much for pleasure as it was a claiming. But still, you skin tingled in response. A trail of goosebumps rose in the wake of every brush of his callused hands.

Finally, you broke the kiss to catch your breath. Pressing your forehead against his, you both smiled like idiots as you took eachother in.

Jungkook leaned in to kiss you again, softer this time. As if the raw desperation passed, he would savor every second now that he had you. His hands were firmly on your waist, and his thumbs rubbed in a soothing motion, lower, and lower as they crept under the hem of your shirt.

You felt core core turning molten and couldn’t reflect back on the last time you had been with someone in this way.

Jungkook’s mouth was hot against your neck, trailing down from behind your ear lower and lower, looking for the spot that made-

You gasped and arched against him in pleasure, your chest pressing harder against his.

There it was, his mind thought in primal satisfaction, as he bit down right above your pulse point, making you writhe against him further. He had been replaying the sounds you made during your last kiss in his head an embarrassing number of nights he was alone. He wanted to map your body right now and learn every spot that made you sigh and moan for him. His hands had migrated further up your ribcage, your skin flushing hot beneath his touch as his thumbs swiped just below your bra.

He was about to reach around to unclasp it when a cough from the kitchen cut his ministrations short. You both turned in shock to see Yoongi placing an expresso pod in the coffee machine.

“J-Hope is in the garage you might wanna,” he waved his hand in the air in a vague gesture to separate. “Or don’t,” he said with a shrug, “I think his reaction would be funny.”

You were scrambling off Jungkook's lap and shoving a pillow between the two of you. Your lips were swollen and bruised from the kiss. You straightened your shirt, which was more rumpled from your earlier fight than anything, and placed a pillow between the two of you as if to protect your chastity with seconds to spare before the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps echoed from the garage. You locked eyes with him as soon as he made it in the entryway. You could feel the anger radiating off of him as he entered the room.

“What happened?” He demanded.

Jungkook calmed his breathing, grabbing the pillow barrier to instead place on his lap as he reminded himself that the bakery was attacked. Hoseok had no clue that Jungkook was just kissing his best friend and that he was not in danger.

“Hobi!” you were up in an instant, ignoring his foul temper as you wrapped your arms around him.

He caught your embrace effortlessly, his eyes tracking you and then noting Jungkook and his new emotional support pillow as he squeezed you tightly before letting you step back.

“Are you okay?” you both ask in unison before cracking a smile.

“I’m fine I just had to lay low. What happened at the bakery tonight?” Hoseok pushed.

Your smile faltered for a moment. “There was an ambush, they didn’t touch me. I can’t say the same for them, but they’ll be fine.” you started.

Hoseok’s brow rose at your implication, “You took out four of the Black Tips best men?” he asked. He didn’t sound disbelieving, he sounded… impressed and maybe a little proud.

“Only two, and I wouldn’t call them the best. Why are you here if you’re in hiding?” you asked, ignoring the way his approval warmed you chest. “And why were you in hiding? And when did you dye your hair?” you pushed. Reaching up to touch the murky black locks. It was obviously box-dyed and barely covered the bright red it was days earlier.

Hoseok smiled tight-lipped before moving to the couch, “I’ll tell my story if you promise to tell yours when Jin and RM get back.” He offered.

You refrained from pointing out that the reason you were at the Den in the first place was to do exactly that. You were too eager to get some answers from Hoseok. Who quickly filled you in on the details of the fake assassination attempt that ended in a not-so-fake assassination charge. That led to Hoseok and Yoongi hiding out in some shitty safe house an hour outside the city, living off Raman noodles and re-dying their hair to more subtle colors.

By time Hoseok had finished, the other members of BTS began filing in. Hoseok told you they had only been called out of hiding so Yoongi could manage the video footage of the bakery and nearby security cameras for the police department and insurance claims. Jin wanted to edit out any evidence of a gang-related interrogation, or else their relationship was going to get a lot more complicated with the local authorities.

But apparently, there was no need. Yoongi was fuming when he returned from his office, informing the others that while the security cameras were able to stream live footage to their system, the memory had been wiped from BTS’s computers.

He still had to cover their tracks of abducting the Black Tips on any city cameras. But otherwise the gang was relying on you as the sole witness to the night's events.

Well, you and the four Black Tip members who attacked you. The men were currently stored away in a safe house under the greenhouse on the Den’s property. But with the excessive exposure to Jimin’s smoke, there was a chance their memories would be unreliable, if not nonexistent.

Jimin couldn’t even estimate a wake time for the men due to the level of gas they inhaled. It could be days before anyone could get answers out of them.

When Jin and Jimin finally returned from filing their reports to the authorities, everyone settled in the living room to hear your account. You recalled the night's events as detailed as possible, telling them how the man in the suit tried to buy your loyalty from BTS and describing him to the best of your ability.

To your relief, they all listened quietly while you spoke, and when you were done, it was V who helped you fill in any gaps you may have missed by prompting you with questions. His presence was steady and soothing, and you realized he was giving you a glimpse of the spider at work. The others didn’t dare interrupt him or ask their own questions, they trusted him to gather every drop of information.

What did the man in the suite look like?

Did he ask about BTS’s current movements?

What ‘sins against the city’ did he want to hold BTS responsible for?

What information did he want you to report back?

You didn’t have any answers to half of those questions, confessing you spent most of your time stalling and trying to get the man to reveal why he was bribing you of all people. You were convinced at the time that the alarm had alerted BTS of your situation and that they would arrive at any minute. The thought of the man getting away didn’t seem like a possibility.

And a small part of you, despite promising yourself you owed BTS nothing outside of your contract, couldn’t help but feel like this oversight was a failure on your part. Somehow, you let the gang down.

Jin clarified that the alarm had been disabled along with the cameras hours prior to the break-in. It was by luck and V’s intel that they managed to get to you when you did.

“And isn't that a big fucking problem?” Hoseok growled, unable to stay quiet any longer.

He stepped forward, glaring in Jin and Jimin’s direction, “Do you realize how irresponsible it was to schedule her on a closing shift alone.” He accused.

“Hobi, it’s fine I worked late all the time at my last job,” you started trying to diffuse the situation.

Everyone in the room refrained from pointing out how well that had gone for you.

“No, it’s not fine. This isn’t like your other job. What if they tried to get information from her at that moment, and she had nothing to give? What if V didn’t call in time? There are a thousand different ways this could have gone wrong. She is not a member of this gang,” Hoseok snapped.

You flinched slightly at his tone.

“She doesn’t have the tattoo. Debt and favors aside, she should not be this deep in BTS’s affairs. She should not be alone in our businesses. That bakery is a cover for Jimin’s lab and loitering drug money. Why the hell would you think it okay to leave her alone there?” He continued.

Jin’s face was like a stone as Hoseok lectured him, not wanting his own emotions to invalidate his brothers. “You're right.” Jin agreed, and you could see the full weight of tonight's events take a toll on him as his shoulders sagged and he turned to you with guilt in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry I put you in danger, Ella. We will never let it happen again.” Jin promised his voice was soft but earnest.

“It sure as hell won’t because she’s not working for you anymore.” Hoseok snapped.

“That's not your call to make,” you argued.

Hoseok turned to you, frustration evident on his face, “Do not fight me on this. You know tonight was too dangerous.”

“She was the dangerous part of tonight. She was fine.” Jungkook pushed, standing next to you.

“Stay out of this!” You and Hoseok snapped in unison.

Jungkook’s face puckered like he tasted something sour, but he sat back on the couch's arm.

“Tonight, you were lucky that man wanted you alive. He could change his mind at any point why can’t you see the danger in that.”

“I'm bound by contract to keep working off my debt,” you argued as you turned to RM for backup.

RM crossed his arms, taking in you and Hoseok as he contemplated his response.

“Blood debt runs deeper than civil law,” Hoseok said before his leader could voice his opinion. And a tense stillness fell across the room.

“Have you forgotten she’s on the No Harm List? That we are supposed to be willing to die for her.” he pushed. The whole gang's demeanor changed at the reminder Jimin downcast his gaze as his shame sank into his gut.

“I don’t want that,” you pushed, horrified, “Take me off the list I don’t - I did not ever want that.”

“Daewon, please, why won’t you let me protect you!”

The room fell quiet as his sister's name echoed through the room.

Your chest ached as understanding settled in, “Oh, Hobie,” you sighed.

“We’ll take a vote,” RM ordered, unable to stand another minute of this fighting. “We have damage control to take care of, and everyone is tired. We meet first thing, and we will decide as a team what we should do about Ella.”

Hoseok’s smile was mirthless at his boss’s half-ass attempt to placate him. “See you bright in early,” he said with a salute before turning for the garage.

You stared after your best friend, hesitant to follow him. “And do I get a say in that decision?” you asked RM softly.

RM sighed, “Your opinion will be considered when we vote. You will have full control over how we go about re-negotiating your contract if it comes to it.”

Assuming that was the best you could get, you sighed, eyes flicking over to Yoongi who flanked RM’s left, his arms crossed and his expression stoic.

“I guess I’ll go catch up with Hobi,” you offered hesitantly, not knowing what to do. Yoongi met your eyes but said nothing. Taking Yoongi’s silence as his answer, you squeezed Jungkook’s hand in a silent farewell before you followed Hoseok to the garage.

Hoseok kept his eyes forward as you approached his vehicle. He was sitting in his Porsche the engine purred a soft accompaniment to the rhythmic thump of his music.

“Can I catch a ride?” you asked, already settling into the passenger's seat and buckling before he could give an empty “Sure.” in response.

You didn’t ask where he was taking you as he sped out of the Den’s parking lot and into the streets of the seventh ward. His options were limited if he was still a wanted man, and you figured you would end up at your apartment by the end of the night.

“We need to pick up another box of hair dye. Whoever did yours did a shitty job,” you said, reaching to run your fingers through his hair.

The unique thing about your friendship with Hoseok was you two were forced to mourn together when you were getting close. Meaning you both had a talent for ignoring the elephant in the room and settling into a normal life where you talked around the big issue.

It wasn’t always healthy to ignore your problems like that. But for you and Hoseok, it worked. After big changes like this, you both had a habit of turning off your feelings for a while and giving each other space and time to process instead of forcing each other to talk about an issue before you were ready.

It’s what you did with Daewon’s death. It’s what he did for you when you first found out about BTS.

So tonight, you could make space for him. The two of you could go through the rest of the night without talking about the bakery or BTS at all if he didn’t want to.

You glanced out the window, realizing what street he was turning on.

“We’re going to see Dae?” you asked, surprised as he pulled to the side of the road outside the city’s botanical garden. The gardens were closed, which was no surprise considering it was close to one in the morning. But that was never a problem in the past.

“We didn’t visit her on her anniversary this year,” Hoseok said simply.

You both visited separately, though you wouldn’t point it out. At the time of Dae’s anniversary, you were still giving him the silent treatment for lying to you about BTS. You had visited Daewon’s grave on your own and saw that it had already been cleaned, and her favorite flowers decorated the small plot, meaning Hoseok had already beat you there.

At the time, you had felt guilty for the relief you felt in your chest. Visiting her that day came with the fear that you and Hoseok would cross paths before you were ready to face him. And you think Dae would have been disappointed to see the two of you arguing on top of her grave.

Because of that, neither of you had gone through with your tradition of robbing the botanical gardens.

Your freshmen year of college was filled with many adventures since moving to Alcor was still a novel experience, but it also came with many nights of being homesick. While Gautier was technically a territory of Kros, the country Alcor resides in, the cultures were very different. And the climate was shockingly different in the cold and wet port city where the smell of sea salt was on the breeze, you missed the clean and fresh scent of blooming heathers and rosemary in the spring, and the taste of sweet figs right off the tree in the summer time.

One night, when you were suffering from a rather nasty bout of homesickness, Daewon took you to the botanical gardens and taught you how to break in at night. At the back of the property, a mighty magnolia tree bloomed outside the garden's fence. It was almost too easy to scale the tree’s sturdy branches and dismount on the other side of the garden. The fences were lined with countless bamboo trellises fortified with different vine plants, making for an easy escape anywhere inside the garden.

You remember how your heart fluttered the first night the two of you broke in. You had to make an effort to hold in your nervous giggle as you scaled the magnolia tree and landed on the mossy lawn of the prehistoric trail, which was lined with ZZ plants and ferns with curling fronds. Sneaking your way through the trail and across the lawn of irsis leads you past the desert exhibit and to a greenhouse that honored the terrain of the eastern colony you called home.

The air was warm but much dryer thanks to the special ventilation system, but despite the heavy humidity missing from the air, the small shrub like plants thrived in the rocky soil, filling the air with the fragrant and aromatic scent of rosemary, lavender, and heathers.

You remember how a knot built in the back of your throat as you ran your fingers over the woody rosemary bush, taking in the earthy pine-like scent. Dae sat with you and listened to you go on about your childhood home for hours.

The giant rosemary bushes that were planted around your house were a staple in your kitchen and bathroom growing up. Your mother was always placing sprigs in her hair products, using it as her own perfume.

You told her the story of how your dad always tried to recreate your mother's french toast recipe on your birthday, but he always forgot to sweeten it so it just tasted like egg bread.

You told her stories of how your father courted your stepmom and how you watched them fall in love again, and build a new family together. One you didn’t fit into as snuggly, not for lack of love in your home, but because you were so much older than your siblings and you had your own dreams and life you were ready to find in Alcor.

Dae held you when you cried, then jokingly played the national anthem to Gautier on her cell phone. You guys laughed and danced around the greenhouse as she struggled to keep up with the lyrics.

The memory brought warmth to your chest years later, just like all the other memories with Daewon. But beneath the warmth, a sharp ache still lingered. Daewon wasn’t perfect by any means; she had a temper like her brother, and she could brood like no other.

But she was good. Daewon was good and fun and she loved so fiercely and encouraged and celebrated her friends. She was the type of person to buy you an ice cream after you failed a test and a cake if you passed.

She was the first person to encourage and support you in your adult life, even in scandalous situations like bringing you a spare set of clothes to the frat house so your walk of shame was a bit less shameful the next morning.

“God I miss her,” you sighed as you approached the magnolia.

“Me too. Every day.” Hoseok agreed quietly as he watched you scale the branches.

He was a worry wort and always made you go first in case you slipped.

“Did Daeown ever know? About BTS?” you asked curiously as both climbed higher in the magnolia tree.

“She knew some of it, like selling the spare car parts, and she could obviously guess some more once I got the tattoo, but she didn’t know everything.” He offered as you reached the branch just past the tall fence that protected the gardens.

‘She didn’t know I shot people,’ she could almost hear Hoseok say.

You ducked low as you approached the branch that led into the garden. Grabbing onto the limb above you to balance yourself, you carefully made your way forward as the branch dipped under your weight.

“Careful,” Hoseok warned.

“Whatever,” you said, rolling your eyes as you let go of the limb stabling you, tightening your core as you jumped from the tree. It was less than a 5-foot drop, but you kept your knees bent as you landed, feeling the impact reverberate back into your legs. You hissed as the pins and needles feeling swarmed the balls of your feet.

“You gotta tuck and roll,” Hosek laughed as you wattled out of his way.

You watched as he lowered himself on the branch the muscles in his body tensed before he sprung forward, extending his legs with his knees still slightly bent.

You sometimes forget the athleticism Hoseok hones in his body. You take for granted how smooth and precise his movements are. It was something you still couldn't quite replicate when you trained with Jungkook. But as you admired your friend, you wondered if he was responsible for training Jungkook to master his own smooth agility.

As his feet touched the ground, he pushed his momentum forward, curling into a ball and rolling across the grass.

“Ow fuck!” he exclaimed as he backrolled over a raised root of a nearby tree.

“And that's why I don’t tuck and roll,” you teased, walking towards him, the ach in your legs nearly forgotten.

You wandered out of the exhibit and towards the iris lawn. Dae’s favorite flowers were blue irises. She used to always pick a few of the flowers any time they visited the garden and keep a vase of them in the dorm room.

“You know they’re bulbed plants one day, we can go to the store and get our own,” Hoseok suggested.

“It’s not the same she says they smell better when they’re picked from the garden here,” you insisted.

“It’s not like she’ll be smelling these,” Hoseok grumbled under his breath but obliged when you held out your hand for his pocket knife.

The theft was quick and efficient. You cut loose five of the flower's long stems and returned back to the fence. Taking care that the flowers were unharmed as you shimmied up one of the trellises.

You were both back in the car within 15 minutes and driving down the road to her grave. The visit was a quiet one. Not tearful like in years past, and for a moment as the two of you kneeled and placed the flowers against the tombstone, you didn’t know if either of you were going to speak at all.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave the city,” Hoseok asked quietly.

You looked at him, startled, “You know my dream is to be a travel doctor,” you replied.

“Is that still your dream?” He asked.

You were quiet for a moment, your eyes searching his face for any indication of where he was going with this.

“Y/N, you were determined once. Focused. You lived and sacrificed for that dream and would never jeopardize it. And lately, you’ve-” You closed your eyes as you caught on to his intentions.

“Continued to sacrifice for it,” you interrupted him, “everything I’ve done, the debt I have isn’t so I can play gangster. It’s so I can finish school. The moment I graduate and the moment I pay off my debt, I’m leaving the city.” You assured.

“You could leave now,” he urged.

“Take a residency somewhere I know your grades are good enough for that accelerated program.”

“I can’t run out on my debt. They will find me.” You hissed.

“They won’t. Jungkook will pull RM off your trail, and they can’t send me after you. I would go with you. You’re the only family I have.” Hoseok pushed his voice urgent, “Things are getting bad. There’s a turf war brewing, and the Black Tips aren’t working alone. I don’t think that man who came after you tonight is from the west side. If power players from the East are involved, this whole city will go to shit. This isn’t a petty fight; people will die. The inner circle and whoever is affiliated with them will have a target on their back.”

“What about Yoongi?” You asked.

Your question was double-sided. You knew about Hoseok’s feelings for him and his unwillingness to move on from him over the years. Hoseok was always privet with the gang side of his life, but even before you knew of BTS, you knew of Yoongi and the web of feelings he carried with him. And you also knew of the second's ability to track down and find anyone. If RM wanted either of you dead, Yoongi would find you in a heartbeat and probably had the skill set to dispose of you himself, too.

Hoseok's eyes downcast “He would let us go.”

“You’re expecting a lot of loyalty from someone you plan to betray.” You pushed.

“You’re putting up a hard fight for someone who claims they don’t have a real reason to stay,” he pressed back.

You looked away from your best friend. The man who treated you like his own sister from the beginning. Who was ready to give everything up and run to make sure you were safe.

Why weren’t you willing to give up your fraction of this world in return?

“Perhaps things are more complicated than I give myself credit for. I kissed Jungkook, and I can’t just leave until I figure that out.” You admitted embarrassed. You braced yourself for the teasing or the anger. But Hoseok's face was calm as he responded his eyes ernst and urgent.

“I fucked Yoongi,” Hoseok countered. “If I don’t leave now. I never will.”

A/N: I haven’t updated in so long I totally forgot how tags and formatting work on this post. Hopefully it finds the intended audience… let me know if you read and enjoyed it!!! Xoxox

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sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 4 months

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RUN: Against Time is live TOMORROW!

~TEASER

January/14/2024

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blossomk00 · 1 year

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Taekook Ao3 rec:

✨ Lovely by aureumie

A great story about hacker Jungkook and mafia boss Taehyung. Really liked the push and pull game between them.

Status: complete

Word count: 17918 (1 chapter)

Ao3 link is HERE

#mafia au #gangster au #taekook #taekook ao3 #taekook recs #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #ao3 recs #ao3 link #bts fic #vkook #vkook ao3 #vkook fic #vkook fanfiction #jungkook #taehyung

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call-me-amanda · 2 years

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𝗠𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗯𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱 — 𝗚𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁𝗮’𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲

↳ 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 | 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚊 𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

↳ 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 | 𝚗𝚊𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎

↳ 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 | 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎

“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I take a look at my life, and realize there's nothin' left

'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long

That even my momma thinks that my mind is gone”

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bts-0t-7 · 1 month

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BTS | MYG | FIC RECS

This list is probably one of the longer ones cause sheesh... I'm a sucker for cats 😭 I hope you'll enjoy the fics as much as I have and don't forget to tell the authors how much you've liked their work!!

Have some spices 😌...

Three Tangerines, @kithtaehyung (smut, brother's best friend, implied age gap au)

Illicit Favours, @yoongiofmine (Fluff, tiny angst, smut, non idol au. Friends to Lovers)

Oh, Darling!, @yoongiofmine (Series, fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, university au)

Predator, @liveyun (gangster au, smut)

Apricity, @liveyun (arranged marriage au, strangers to lovers)

Petals, @yoonia (parenthood au, fluff)

The devil wears Valentino, @orchidyoonkook (One Shot, Spooky AU, Supernatural Creatures AU, Age Gap, Slice of Life, Angst, Smut, Fluff)

Sugar, @zehakoo (strangers to lovers, neighbours au, fluff, smut)

Peaches in bed, @borathae (Smut, married life!AU, domestic!AU)

Yoongi's Lullaby, @jiminrings (unrequited love friends to lovers soulmate au)

Snow Blanket, @yoonieper (friends to lovers, fluff, smut)

A Wager of Lords and Love, @hisunshiine (regency era au, arranged marriage au, s2l, fluff, smut, angst)

By The Time I've Figured Out What It's Worth, @ugh-yoongi (est. relationship, marriage au, angst, smut, fluff)

Bad Things, @yoonia (Brothel!au, Street Fighter!Yoongi, Escort!reader)

Close Call, @xjoonchildx (smut, mafia AU)

The Little Things, @kth1 (Smut, 21+, Slice of Life, One Shot)

Sweet Morning, @7ndipity (slightly suggestive, implied smut, implied drinking, swearing)

Shy, @7ndipity (smut, unprotected sex, soft dom-ish Yoongi)

Hello Soulmate, @bluemari23 (soulmate au, soulmarks, fluff)

Celestial Ruin, @remedyx (Fantasy, Angst, Smut, Corruption)

Carnal Desires, @explicit-tae (smut, stripper reader, mafia/gangster yoongi, grinding, finger sucking)

Moonlit Throne, @hobidreams (smut, angst, fluff)

Desolate, @angelicyoongie (angst, fluff, eventual smut)

The Perks of Being a Househusband, @sunnebeam (marriage au, crack, domesticity, yoongi in his stay-at-home hubs era)

Give It To Me, @ki-yomii (smut, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), praise kink, dom!yoongi, established relationship, pet names)

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x oc #yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x oc #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi series #min yoongi smut #yoongi scenarios #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff

927 notes · View notes

agustdakasuga · 1 year

Text

The Way Of A Criminal (Series Masterlist) [PAUSED]

Genre: Mafia!AU, Criminal!AU, Angst, Romance

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Your father was a stranger, you never knew who he was and what he did. But one day, someone knocks on your door, informing you of his passing. Now, you learn more about him, his life and the legacy you are expected to continue with the help of his 7 executives.

Story warning(s): This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed/gore, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking and gambling. This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

1K notes · View notes

oddinary4bts · 11 months

Text

Love is a Laserquest | choi san

☆summary: years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?

☆pairing: gangster!Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: gangster au, exes au, angst, smut, a smidge of the one bed trope

☆warnings: guns/gun violence (mentioned), knifes/stabbing (mentioned), a bounty over San's head, death of a minor character (named Jungkook my bad), blood, injuries, stitches, probably some wrong medical terminology bc optometrists don't stitch up people lmao, a panic attack, cursing, pet names, explicit content: oral sex (female receiving) -> face riding, let me know if I forgot any!

☆word count: 16.5k

☆a/n: Here's my submission for Outlaw: The Project hosted by @ssaboala. It is coincidentally my first time posting about another group than bts, so I hope this won't disappoint! I really enjoyed writing it (even though it's really sad oop). Also my first time making a moodboard so hopefully it works haha

☆a/n pt2: thank you to @moonleeai for being my ever-so faithful beta reader, love you lots <3

☆☆☆☆☆

And do you still think love is a Laserquest? Or do you take it all more seriously? I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had But you’re always busy being make-believe

Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys

☆☆☆☆☆

The diner is silent, unoccupied. It always is on late weekday evenings, when most patrons have gone to bed, the city falling under a carpet of hushed silence only night can bring forth. It makes the diner feel like it’s straight out of a 70s movie, and it makes for the perfect study sessions too.

Night isn’t always soundless in your part of town. Hence why you’ve been trying to escape, pursuing an education that has been leaving you penniless, but with a bright future ahead. If you make it out of med school at a certain point, that is.

Tonight, you fear the peace that night usually entails has been ruined for you – there were gunshots earlier, close enough for you to see the police cars racing past as the law officers made it to probably yet another gang fight.

There’s been a gang war on your side of town. The diner has always been safe, a refuge for both sides of the war, where they aren’t allowed to fight. To carry in weapons and hatred. No, the moment they cross the threshold of the diner, the gangsters become one family, sharing struggles that only poverty can cause.

You wipe a table clean before walking back towards the counter. Your open laptop waits for you, and you quickly read the study guide you’ve made for yourself, the cardiovascular system and its pathologies forming a maze in your mind that you’ve yet to decode. Luckily enough, you still have a week before the bloc ends and you have to take the exam.

Plenty of time to cram everything about the heart in your thick little skull, you’d say.

Your lips move in time with what you’re reading, attention solely focused on the bright screen when a thump is heard right outside the door. It startles you, and you turn around to see the empty street out of the glass door.

It takes you about ten seconds to notice the dark form sitting on the ground. They’re leaning against the door, head lolling to the side. You assume it must be someone that’s ended unhoused, something that happens far too often where you live.

You’ve always been kind. When you were younger, you were told your kindness would be your demise. Yet you’ve never been able to be anything but kind, even though sometimes it might put you at risk. So you can’t resist but walk to the front door, trying to push it open.

It’s useless – the weight of the person is keeping it tightly shut, though they do straighten a little, as if coming to their senses. They turn, and the moment their profile comes into view you’re brought back eight years in the past. To a time when the world was still a beautiful place, void of violence and cruelty. To a smile so sweet it made flowers blossom on your heart, and to eyes so sharp you knew they had read your soul.

Choi San is sitting outside the door, and the caked blood on his cheek tells you enough – he’s injured. He pushes away from the door before slowly getting up. He clutches his side as he does it, yet when he turns back towards you and faces your horrified eyes, he still offers you a smirk.

You push the door open, thinking about the years between then and now. You had dated him for a few months that had felt like forever, until you had realized in what kind of business he was getting involved with. You had tried to convince him to flee before it was too late, and he kept promising that he would.

Only he never did, hiding lies with beautiful words that made your teenage self swoon, until your parents had realized and forced you to break up. It had been a nasty break-up, filled with hatred and words you didn’t mean yet had needed to say for him to leave.

You remember breaking his heart like it was yesterday.

“Choi San,” you greet him, and when he lets go of his side, you notice blood on his hand.

Something runs cold inside of you, even though he still sports a smirk on his lips.

He says your name, bowing his head. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Months, in fact. Because he does come to the diner sometimes. He usually ignores you, and so do you, so it feels strange to have him speak to you. To hear his voice as his words are addressed to you.

“What…” you trail off, glancing down at the ripped fabric of his black tank top.

He’s got a mean cut on his ribs, and it’s only then that you truly realize that he’s badly injured. Because there’s more – one of his biceps has been sliced open too, though blood is barely oozing out of it in small rivulets. The blood on his cheek is from where you assume he’s been punched with rings, and there’s already an underlying bruise under his eye.

“Got beaten up,” he states the obvious, and you immediately open the door wider to let him in.

He limps in, heading towards the nearest booth, where he plops down and lets out a pained grunt. You make sure no one is outside before shutting the door and locking it, flipping the hanging sign on it so it says closed in case a patron decides to show up.

You take a few steps towards San, hands shaking slightly at your side. Because that’s a grown man, bleeding out on the leather seat of the booth, and his eyes are shut though he looks in pain. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You haven’t yet started your residency, haven’t really gone from theory to practice… Yet you’re studying to be a doctor, are you not?

“Why are you here?” you ask, though you’re pretty sure you know the answer.

“Didn’t know where else to go,” he says, wincing as one of his eyes opens. He tilts his head to look towards you. “Word around the block says…” he pauses, takes a deep breath before continuing, “that you’re studying to be a doctor”.

So you are right. He’s here because he needs your help, and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it.

“Why…” You look for words, and it takes you a moment to realize that it doesn’t matter.

For all the history between you and him, Choi San doesn’t deserve to bleed out to death on a cheap leather seat in a forgotten diner on the dangerous side of town.

He has the decency to chuckle at the start of your question, which only makes him wince in pain once again.

“Don’t move,” you tell him, and it’s a little stupid because clearly, he’s in no state to move.

He doesn’t question it, and you run to the kitchen to thoroughly wash your hands and grab the first aid kit. At night, no cooks stay around, and you usually only reheat food if needed, which doesn’t really happen. You haven’t had any client coming in at night in weeks… until San, that is. So no one is there to see what is going on, which you reckon is a relief. Because you have no idea what’s going on.

You return to the booth where San is waiting, patiently. He’s clearly wiped his hand on his face because there’s fresh blood on his forehead, and you almost balk at the sight of it.

“What have you done?” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.

It seems he’s still in sync with you because he still hears. “Got involved with the wrong crowd.”

You put the first aid kit down on the table, ignoring his eyes when they flutter open, and he rests his gaze on you.

“I don’t know if I can help you,” you say as you unzip the kit and throw it open. You spare his side a quick glance. “This looks like you’re going to need stitches.”

He makes an effort of looking down at himself, though it mostly fails as he doesn’t raise his head from the seat. “Right.”

You grab everything you think you might need – alcohol swabs to clean his skin, fresh linen to bandage his side and arm, and stuff for his cheek too. He carefully observes you, with that piercing gaze of his that used to make you go crazy inside when you were young and impressionable.

You vaguely motion at him, and he cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Are you able to sit up?” you ask. “I can’t reach you if you’re lying back like this.”

His pink tongue darts to wet his lips, and he nods curtly. “Let me…” he trails off, resting a bloody hand on the table while he grabs at the back of the booth to push himself up. It has new blood appearing on his side, and you quickly move towards him, putting some linen against it.

As if it’s going to do anything. He clearly needs stitches, and you’ve got nothing with you to stitch him up.

“Fuck,” he curses lowly as he’s finally sitting. You just keep the linen on his side, eyes a little wide.

Your gazes connect inevitably, and time slows. You think about how he used to smile, how his eyes used to hold a softness you haven’t had the chance to see again since he’s walked out of your life.

Or rather, since you kicked him out of your life.

“I don’t think I can help,” you whisper, and his eyes flicker to your lips.

“I can’t go to the hospital,” he admits, shame turning his features into a mask of regret. “They… If they find me, I’m dead.”

Dread fills every ounce of your being. “San, what have you been doing?”

He looks away from your insistent gaze, scoffing slightly. “You don’t want to know.”

He isn’t wrong; you genuinely don’t want to know. Because he means nothing good, even with all the memories you share with him.

“Is it going to put me in danger?” you ask, as he still obstinately avoids your gaze.

He seems to freeze in front of you, as if you’ve pressed pause to your favourite show. To avoid the awkwardness, you busy yourself with grabbing one of his hands so he can hold the linen in place before you start washing the cut on his arm. It’s not deep, but you’re pretty sure it’ll still leave a mean scar, especially considering he can’t go to the hospital.

The thought has a drop of cold sweat roll along your spine. People want him dead. People want Choi San, the man you know as a young, scared teenager just trying to find a way to make his life better, dead. You remember the innocence in his smile – has he smiled at all in the years apart?

“I should go,” he says flatly. He moves to stand, but you hold him down, two hands firmly placed on his shoulders. It makes him wince, and you quickly release your grip.

“Don’t,” you tell him. “Let me at least patch you up.”

His eyes shut again as his head hangs low. “I am so sorry.”

You don’t even know who he is apologizing to, or why he is. All you know is that it causes your heart to clench in your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.

When you were younger, you believed San was your star-crossed lover. You believed your high school sweethearts romance would grow until you’d be old and grey and at the end of a very long road. You had dreamed of a future with him, the way only teenagers can dream – with no sense of reality. Because your reality had never been to end up by his side.

His choices had been proof enough of it.

You still remember the day you first kissed. Under an August meteor shower, with just the night sky as your witness. It had been hesitant, slow and soft, just like everything with San. And you had believed the lie, trusted it with every beat of your little heart, until your parents had found out the truth about him.

Until they had broken your heart, even before you had broken his.

If the stars had known then, what was going to happen to you and Choi San, would they still have shone through the night?

He lets out a pained sound as you gently dab at the cut on his bicep. You clean the skin around the wound in and of itself, and he watches you carefully, piercing gaze not missing how your face clouds with memories.

“How have you been doing?” he asks so softly you think his words are a gentle summer breeze on your features.

You can almost still smell the summer night air of that field where you had stargazed, where you’d always meet so long ago.

“I’ve been okay,” you answer, truthfully. Because even though you haven’t seen him, you have lived your life apart from him. Have evolved without him by your side. “Better than you, visibly.”

He didn’t expect the joke. It makes him snort, and then a soft smile grows on his lips, softening the edges of his hard features. “You haven’t changed.”

You have, and yet you haven’t. Like him, you think there’s a part of you that is still sixteen, and will forever be. A part of you that remained stuck in the moment when you watched him walk away in the rain, as if even the sky had to cry for his broken heart.

“Wish I could say the same about you,” you murmur, nostalgia a melancholic song in your words.

He chooses to remain silent, because the proof of how much he’s changed is sitting right in front of you, wounded and bleeding and hurt. The hurt is behind his eyes, in the shadows of the past that have also been obscuring your vision.

“Yeah,” he lets out, barely audible.

And then silence reigns between you, because as much as you once loved him, eight years have made you strangers. You don’t know anything about his life except the dirty, obvious darkness that surrounds him, and he doesn’t know anything except that you are studying to be a doctor…

Which leads you to wonder how does he know in the first place?

You ask him, as you’re wrapping the linen around his bicep to make a makeshift bandage. You’re proud of the result, though your fingers can’t resist but linger on the taut skin over his muscle, surprised at how soft it still is.

“I’ve heard you mention it,” he admits, as you take a step away to look at the material on the table, as if it’ll suddenly make stitches appear for you to put them in his skin. “One of the times I was here.”

“You never said hi,” you reproach him, unable to hide the ghost of a bite in your tone.

“Neither did you,” he points out, and he isn’t wrong.

All you can do is purse your lips as you finally decide to clean his skin. But for that, you have to rid him of his tank top, to make sure there’s no fabric in the wound. You look at him, cheeks somehow burning even though all you’re doing is taking care of a patient.

Though he’s not a patient, and you’re not in a hospital. You’re just a server at a dusty, old diner and he’s just your teenage lover, wounded by his dangerous actions.

“Should I grab scissors to remove your shirt?” you ask, though you’re speaking to yourself more than to him.

He still finds it in him to tease. “You want me out of my shirt?” he enquires, smirk gracing his lips again. “Say no more.”

He tries moving, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t,” you warn. “You’ll make it bleed more.”

He purses his lips, because nodding. “Right.” He glances at the first aid kit, before his eyes trail to your face again. “You got scissors in that?”

There are. You grab them, before turning towards him. It feels strange: you’ve never undressed him before. You had always wanted to wait, back then, before you slept together. You believed you were too young, and San had always respected it.

“Let me know if I hurt you,” you tell him as you take a step closer to him.

He slightly leans back, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you plan to do with those that might hurt?”

You roll your eyes, playfully, before taking the two other steps leading to right in front of his legs. You notice that they are slightly parted, allowing you to come closer, and you take a steadying breath before reaching between you, pulling at the fabric of his tank top.

“Stay still and you shouldn’t get hurt,” you whisper, ignoring the heaviness of his piercing gaze on you.

It burns right through you, and you have to tame the beats of your heart at the feeling of the warm skin of his shoulder against the back of your fingers as you bring your other hand forward, until you’ve started cutting his shirt.

It’s stuck to his side where blood has dried, and he winces but remains still and silent as you keep going, pulling on it a little harder to be able to cut. The moment stretches into infinity, because you can’t help but take your time. It reminds you of how you’d used to run your fingers on his back, under his shirt, when you napped in the field in the summertime. In an idyllic world where gangs and violence and war were mere inventions of the media, and not a reality that surrounded you.

You’d loved the field. The wildflowers, the open air, the way it was just you and him and a few lazy bumblebees as clouds lazily crossed the sky above. You were so young then, so innocent. Hands unstained from blood, from his blood.

Because as you cut, the hand touching his shirt stains with blood. You pale at the sight of it, but you keep going, pushing through until you’re done, gently pulling the fabric from his body until he’s sitting there, shirtless, with a long wound on his ribs.

You can’t help but notice his toned chest and the defined abs on his stomach. Though blood mars his skin, turning it into a piece of violence, Choi San is still beautiful. Beautiful in a dark, dangerous way that has you glance outside, making sure no one is looking.

But the streets are empty, void of life at this time of the night. At least, they mostly always are.

“You will need stitches,” you state again as if you both don’t know already.

“I can’t…”

An idea forms in your brain. It’s a stupid idea, and you don’t even know why it crosses your mind.

Your uncle has a hunting cabin far in the woods. He’s a nurse himself, and he’s always kept everything over there in case someone got injured and he had to stitch them up. You haven’t gone in forever, but you still remember the tall trees, the deep forest scent that reminds you of autumn and leaves and grey days spent reading by the fireplace.

You never went hunting, but you did accompany your father when he went, needing an escape from the city once in a while. An escape from a life that was slowly becoming too real.

Your uncle is currently halfway across the country, so you know you’d be alone at the cabin. You glance at your laptop over your shoulder – you have three days off in front of you before your next class on Monday. Indeed, the Friday class is pre-recorded and to watch online in your free time, and you figure you can always watch it some other time.

So you turn towards Choi San, almost surprised that he’s real and he’s still sitting in front of you, honey skin cut open on his ribs.

“I might know a place where you can go,” you admit, with a small voice, surprising both you and him. Because you doubt he expects you to want to help, after tonight.

“What?” he asks.

“My uncle’s cabin,” you remind him, because you’ve told him about it all those years ago. “He should have all that I need to stitch you up.”

San looks down at himself. “You’ve just cut my shirt open.”

It sounds a little dumbfounded, and you can’t help the nervous laugh that falls from your mouth. Because even though it doesn’t look too deep, the wound still is terrifying in and of itself.

“I’ll bandage it,” you whisper. “Before we go.”

He seems like he ponders for a time. You watch the debate across his features, his eyes falling to a spot on your chin. He looks sad, troubled and defeated. “I can’t… I can’t do this to you.”

You ignore his words, carefully washing his side. You avoid the cut and try to be as gentle as you can, but his muscles still flex as he clenches his fists from the pain.

He’s strong. That much hasn’t changed. Because he doesn’t make any sound as you finish washing him and then patch him up with those same careful hands. And when you move to his face, cleaning the blood, his eyes flutter shut, and he sighs softly.

He looks so much like he looked then that your heart aches, and you find yourself blinking away tears for this man who’s had it so rough he believed joining a gang would save him.

“I should have come to you before,” he murmurs. “You’re much gentler than Hongjoong.”

You don’t know the guy he mentioned, and you don’t feel like asking. Don’t feel like acknowledging his words, so you just finish with his cheek before stepping away from the peaceful aura that was treacherously pulling you in.

Like all those years ago, you reckon.

“Let me make a call,” you say, turning away from him as you move to the counter. You feel the weight of his eyes between your shoulder blades as you get your phone from next to your laptop. You call your boss, and as someone that’s never called in sick before, you feel anxiety flush through you.

Because you’re not sick. And how could you tell him that you need to take care of your ex-boyfriend of eight years ago?

Seokhyun picks up on the first ring, voice groggy with sleep when he mutters, “Hello?”

“Boss,” you greet him. You scrape your throat and spare a look towards San who’s watching you curiously. “An emergency came up, and I have to leave the diner.” You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed from lying, and then you add, “There haven’t been any customers all night, so I was wondering… would you be comfortable with me closing for the rest of the night?”

Your boss says your name, a little reproachfully. But then he sighs, because he knows just as well as you what a good employee you’ve always been. “Are you going to be able to come in tomorrow night?” he asks.

You pull at dry skin on your bottom lip, assessing San’s state. You could always come back to the city for work…

“You know what, I know you’ve got that big exam coming up,” your boss says, sighing into the phone. “Why don’t you take the next week off so you can take care of your emergency and focus on your studies?”

If Seokhyun wasn’t a fifty-three year old married and father of three children man, you think you’d ask him to marry you right now.

“That would be really helpful,” you tell him, gratitude dripping from your voice. “Are you sure that won’t be a problem for the diner?”

“The diner won’t lose profit if it closes for three nights in the week,” he points out. “I’ll see if I can get you replaced for the evening shift on Sunday.”

You thank him again as he grumbles that it’s nothing. He wishes you good luck, and when the line goes silent, you finally meet San’s gaze again.

“All sorted out,” you tell him, offering him a nod. “Let me just close the diner, and then we can go.”

He nods, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He observes you as you do so, quickly closing the diner like you’ve done about a hundred times before, though this time you’re far more excited to go. You grab a plastic bag to put away the bloody swabs, and though he groans in pain, San gets up to help you clean the blood that stained the cheap leather of the booth.

Soon enough, you’re ready to go, and you walk outside with the plastic bag in one hand and your backpack on your shoulders as San chuckles, looking down at himself.

“Do you have a shirt for me?” he asks as he follows you out.

You lock the door behind you before glancing at him. He’s quite the sight, naked from the waist up and bandaged like he is, and you can’t help the small chuckle you let out as you glance towards your car, that’s luckily parked right in front.

Though it’s a deadbeat car, you trust it enough to know it’ll make the trip to your uncle’s cabin, even in the middle of the night.

“My ex left some sweaters on the back seat,” you admit as you unlock your car doors and open the trunk to put your backpack and the plastic bag in there. There’s no chance in hell you’ll leave a plastic bag full of bloody swabs near your work.

You see San nod from the periphery of your vision, and then he’s opening the door to the backseat. “Your ex, huh?” he mutters as he grabs a sweater you used to love wearing and that you haven’t convinced yourself to give back to Hyunmin.

He carefully puts it on, and you’re pretty sure just the motion is going to make blood seep through the bandage. Somehow, you don’t care that it might stain Hyunmin’s sweater.

Hyunmin was a cheater, and even though you never really loved him, it took you months before you found the strength to break up with him. Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve his clothes back.

“Yeah,” you flatly say as you move towards the driver’s seat. You sit, and San follows you, naturally, as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.

As you turn the keys in the engine, San asks, “Have you dated a lot?”

You bristle at the question, shooting him an embarrassed look. “Have you?”

“No,” he replies, features fully serious.

You purse your lips, focusing on the road as you start driving. You need to put gas in the car if you want to get to your uncle’s cabin, so you make your way towards the closest one. It takes you a moment before you register how San has stiffened next to you.

“Can we…” he trails off, and he sinks in the seat, trying to hide. “I can’t be seen here.”

You immediately press on the accelerator, and your car speeds down the street as you pass in front of the gas station. You glance at San only when you’re stopped at a red light. He’s pulled the hood of the sweater over his features, and he’s doing his best to hide.

“Where can we stop?” you ask.

“Next town over,” he answers. “I just can’t be seen in Bangtan territory.”

Right. You have no knowledge of how the gangs have divided your city, but you’re not surprised Bangtan has this part of town. It’s the industrial area, and you assume there’s a lot of money to be made around here.

“Sounds good,” you gently say, and then you’re driving again, the light turning green, allowing you to speed away into the night.

You drive silently all the way to the next town, watching your city disappear to be replaced by trees until buildings reappear. San is looking outside the window, and you can’t help but wonder how he’s been doing, truly. How he managed to get injured like he is right now, and mostly, if his dreams of running away still occupy his thoughts.

He had begged you, the evening you had broken up with him. Told you he’d make enough money to be able to move with you across the country and build yourself a nice little life over there. You had wanted to believe him for so long, until your parents had opened your eyes on just how he was trying to make money.

“Do you need anything?” you ask as you finally reach the gas station, pulling into the driveway. You park next to a pump, turning to face him only to find him already watching you.

“I don’t have money to pay for food,” he admits. He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I lost my wallet in the… altercation.”

You gently put a hand on his forearm. “Hey, my treat. We have to eat.”

He inhales deeply, letting out the breath slowly, before he nods. “Alright. I owe you.”

You reckon he’ll owe you for a lot more than just food at a gas station, but you choose not to say it. Not when you feel like someone’s watching over your shoulder, watching you drive away in the night with the person they are looking for.

You know it’s paranoia. No one followed you out of the city and into this town. It just feels too strange to have him here, with you. In your car, on the way to your uncle’s cabin, as if eight years have gone out the window. As if you can still be young and innocent.

It’s stupid, because you can’t. Time has changed him; time has changed you. And in just a few years you’ll be a doctor, and you’ll finally get out of this hellhole of a city, of its dangerous streets.

Of its equally dangerous man, that you know could probably pull you back in with one of his many well-crafted lies, one of the dreams he weaved expertly, whispering it into your ear.

You take a deep breath before getting out of the car. You go into the station, grab snacks for the next few days and then head to the counter. The guy behind nods as you approach, and you pay for the food and for gas before wishing him a good night and returning outside. San is still squatting in the car, clearly trying to hide, and you put the food on the backseat before putting gas in.

You watch his profile as you put gas in the car. Back when you were dating, his features weren’t as sharp, as glass-cutting as they now are. He used to sport a rounder face, but today you wonder if you’d get a papercut on his jaw. You wouldn’t even be surprised.

When you’re done with gas, you sit back next to him, and you quickly bring the engine back to life before pulling out in the street. As soon as you exit the city, darkness falls on the two of you, tall trees standing on the two sides of the road again. San doesn’t speak much, and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s dozing off next to you.

“Hey, everything okay?” you ask, suddenly worried that he might have lost too much blood. Which, you reckon, you should have thought about earlier.

He sighs, glancing towards you. “Just tired.”

“Don’t…” you trail off. “Don’t fall asleep.”

He chuckles. “You’re afraid I’m going to die on you?”

“Choi San,” you warn. “Don’t you dare say stuff like that.”

He smiles, but you reckon he’s a little pale. Or at least you think he is, in the silver light of the moon up above. “I think I’m fine. Just…” He offers you a weak smile, though you’ve returned your attention on the winding road. “Just exhausted. I haven’t slept in three days.”

Worry clutches your heart, and you nibble at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “What’s been going on?”

He slightly shrugs. “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to put you in danger…”

“Am I not already in danger by just helping you?”

The silence is telling enough. And it remains for a while until San finally speaks.

“I was in a gunfight a week ago. Accidentally shot the youngest member of the other gang. He didn’t make it, and the gang has put a bounty on my head. Ateez took my gun and told me to run; I laughed in their face and said I wasn’t a coward. Then I got attacked by two guys with knives earlier, and I made it to the diner because I had nowhere else to go.”

Now the silence is deafening, heavy, and you think you’ve altogether stopped breathing. You’re struck with an image of San in the summer sun, smiling wide as he put a flower behind your ear, claiming you were the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The contrast with who he is now – a product of night, shrouded in darkness with no hint of that smile on his lips – is stark. And you wonder when’s the last time he has seen the sun, when’s the last time his life wasn’t violence like this.

When you say nothing, he scoffs, resting his head against the window as if it’d allow him to escape. Because clearly he wants to escape – he’s just told you that he’s killed someone after all.

And you don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to react to someone confessing murder. All you can do is stare at the street ahead, hoping you won’t end up in a gunfight with San. Because where would that lead you, other than in the dramatics of death?

You don’t speak for the rest of the ride. You don’t think he sleeps either, and dawn is clinging to the far horizon when you get to your uncle’s cabin, in a secluded forest that seems straight out of a fairytale. Instead of bringing you awe like it usually does, the sight of it makes you think of all the murder mysteries you had been obsessed with when you were younger, before you realized how horrible the real world truly is.

Neither of you move, as you turn off the engine of the car, and you fall into even more of a tensed silence, though this time you can hear the chirping of the early birds. It’s peaceful, so peaceful you can barely even grasp how tangible the presence of San is next to you. The presence of his actions too, looming between the two of you like a sword of Damocles.

You move first. Putting a hand on the knob, hoping to escape the heaviness into the dawn. San speaks before you can though, and your heart stops in your chest.

“I never meant for him to get hurt,” he murmurs, and you think he’s speaking to himself more than to you. “Everything went too fast, my gun was in my hand and I just… in situations like these, you don’t have time to think.” He leans his head against the headrest, eyes closing. “All I can picture since it’s happened is him falling and blood. Like a fucking blossoming rose, all around him.” He rests his closed fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard. “I haven’t been able to sleep; I’ve been sick every time I’ve tried to eat…”

“San,” you interrupt as you break and break for him. Because this is the San you know. This is the young boy that just wanted to escape and live in a better world. You can almost taste his remorse, taste his regret and shame. It’s poisonous, treacherous, a slippery slope that can’t lead anywhere good. “Let’s get you in. I want to get that cut on your ribs checked.”

He falls silent, and for a moment you feel guilty. Because what if he had more to say? You don’t even think you would have been able to listen. You need the escape, and you know he’ll permit it. Because the man next to you is a broken man, a fracture of what he could have been.

You step out of the car, blinking away tears – from the anxiety, from the exhaustion, and perhaps even from the pain you feel for him. He follows you, wincing as he swings his legs out of the car. He stumbles a little as he stands, but soon enough, he grows steady on his feet, and his attention moves to you. You climb the stairs of the cabin, lifting the rug to find the small trap that leads to the spare key. The padlock is rusted, but it stands strong as you put in the code, and a click is heard when you pull on it.

A few seconds later, you’ve unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the cabin as you remember it. Not a single item is out of place, though dust covers everything, a clear indication that no one has been here in years. You let San in, before going back to the car to get the food you bought, bringing it in and putting it in the fridge. Three full gas canisters hide under the counter, and you sigh in relief – you’ll be able to get the generator on for some electricity.

You motion to the kitchen table. “Have a seat,” you tell San, who somehow looks like a lost puppy. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

He nods, remaining silent, eyes downcast. You only move when he’s seated, heading to the bathroom area of the cabin, where you startle a spider that almost makes you scream out loud. You keep it in, heart beating out of your chest as you get the kit before moving back into the main area.

San is leaning against the chair, eyes closed. He senses you approaching, and one of his eyes cracks open to watch you carefully, a little like he did earlier, at the diner. It looks so similar to how he used to look at you, when you joined him at the field, that you stop in your tracks, heart squeezing once again.

You don’t like the way Choi San is making you feel, that’s for sure.

“Take off the sweater,” you tell him, putting the kit down on the table. You put some clean linen next to it, to put what you need over it, before washing your hands with the disinfectant you find in the kit. You put latex gloves on after, and then you fish wire and a surgical needle from the first aid kit that you carefully put down on the linen once you’ve torn the packages open.

As you were doing all of that, San took off the shirt, struggling a little as it meant he had to lift his right arm, which pulled at the skin of his ribs, where the cut clearly has started bleeding again. Though, if you’re honest to yourself, you’re pretty sure he’s been bleeding this whole time, even though it probably was just some fine rivulets.

Indeed, the cut isn’t all that deep, you remind yourself. Mostly because you don’t want to even think about the consequences of the blood loss. As long as he stays awake, you figure he’s fine – he would have lost consciousness a while ago if he was losing a lot of blood.

You remove the bandage you had carefully put in place earlier, wincing at the sight of the blood that’s seeped through it. San keeps his eyes close, lets you clean his skin again in peace, and you feel sick to your stomach as you realize you don’t have any anesthetics for the pain that stitching him up will cause. Indeed, the pocket in which your uncle usually leaves the lidocaine is empty, and you remember that he’s had to use it for your dad when he accidentally cut himself with a machete last summer.

“Huh,” you let out. You chuckle nervously. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”

His eyes narrow, and he clenches his jaw. “Don’t worry about it.”

You worry at your bottom lip, holding his gaze as you gauge if he’s serious. When his gaze doesn’t falter, you offer him a curt nod, before getting the wire and needle ready under his watchful eyes.

You hand him some linen. “To bite on,” you explain as he just cocks an eyebrow quizzically. That makes his gaze widen a little as if he’s just now realizing how serious you were about it hurting, but he takes it nonetheless.

You think about the theory of how to stitch someone up. It was in your previous block – you watched hours of videos of it in an attempt to desensitize yourself to it. You don’t think it compares to the real thing, but at least you’re somehow confident of what you’re doing when you start.

San startles, groaning in pain, and you offer him a glare. “Don’t move, or it’ll be worse.”

A drop of sweat rolls down his temple, but he still nods. Even as you keep on stitching him, he remains as still as he physically can, though you don’t think he even notices how he’s trembling. Or maybe that’s you – you don’t even know.

Somehow, you make it through the whole thing. You think San might have passed out at some point, but he’s wide awake when you finish the knot to keep the stitches in place, looking up to meet his face.

He’s panting and tears of pain wet his waterline. He blinks them away as he takes the linen out of his mouth, dropping it on the table.

“Fuck,” he curses.

“Let me…” you trail off, mind set on getting something to at least help him cool off, because he’s clearly been heating up.

You grab a washcloth and a small bucket, and head outside to walk down to the lake. You fill the bucket halfway, and take a few seconds to observe the calm surrounding you, hoping that it can ease the nerves rolling inside your heart like dark clouds do on the horizon whenever a storm is coming. You feel it in your bones – you have a murderer in your uncle’s cabin.

You have to keep that in mind. To not let Choi San in like you did when you were a young impressionable teenager.

You sigh, closing your eyes to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun is peaking over the horizon now, and you bask in its hesitant rays for all of twenty seconds before you convince yourself to go back in. You’ve got a patient to take care of, after all.

San hasn’t moved an inch while you were outside. The only indication that he hasn’t died on you is the groan he lets out as you put the wet washcloth on his forehead. You tap his cheek gently, as if to say, ‘suck it up, I’m just trying to take care of you’.

Which is exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it?

You watch him carefully for a few seconds before tapping his shoulder this time around.

“There’s a bed,” you remind him. “You’d be better passing out in a bed.”

He groans again, cracking an eye open. “I’ve just been repeatedly poked with a needle,” he drawls. “Give me a second.”

It makes you laugh. Because of the nerves, maybe. You’re not quite sure. All you know is that you’re laughing, and San opens his second eye to look at you as if you’re crazy. And you laugh for longer than you should – you’re exhausted after all, especially considering you haven’t slept since yesterday morning. So far, adrenaline has been keeping you going, but you can tell you’re about to crash.

“Sorry,” you apologize once you calm down. “This has just been…”

“A lot,” San finishes for you. “I know.”

You nod once before glancing at the doorway to the bedroom. It has no door, as your uncle and your dad usually come here alone and they don’t mind sharing a bed. It makes you realize that you’ll have to share it with San, which you reckon you should have thought about before. Because there’s no way in hell you’ll share a bed with him, especially after he’s told you why he’s being hunted.

There’s always the option of going into town later today so you can get a sleeping bag and floor mat to sleep on. But you’re far too tired right now to even consider driving, so you motion to the bed once again.

“Stick to your side; I’ll stick to mine.”

He smirks though he’s extremely pale. A lot paler than he was before, and you swallow a sudden lump in your throat. Because what if he dies? What are you supposed to do with him if he dies?

“You’ll have to help me to get to the bed ‘cause I don’t think I can move,” he says once his smirk dies. He curses under his breath. “I’m so pathetic.”

You put your hand on his shoulder again, reassuringly, eyes holding his. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re hurt. Everyone is pathetic when they’re hurt.”

He gulps before nodding once. It takes everything in you not to offer him more comfort because you feel like the slope would tilt forwards far too much if you did. Instead, you help him to get up, wincing as he puts most of his weight on you, clutching his side with one hand. You’re infinitely aware of how his skin is sticky with sweat, but you ignore it as you slowly walk to the bedroom.

You can only hope the stitches will hold because you don’t think he’d be able to withstand another round of them.

You finally reach the bedroom and help San sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, eyes shut tightly, and he doesn’t move for a time. When he does, it’s to stiffly lie down on his side.

“You might want to sleep on your back,” you inform him. “I don’t want you rolling around and messing up the stitches.”

He glares at you, though he looks like he’s already half out of it. You hold his gaze until he gives in, turning on his back with a deep sigh. You arrange pillows around him to make sure he’s not moving, and by the time you’re done, his breathing has already evened out.

For a moment, you just watch him sleep. You see him in the field where young love blossomed like a trillion wildflowers. You can almost breathe his pollen again, can almost feel the softness of his skin under your fingertips.

But he’s not what he used to be. Back then, you felt like you had discovered something new. Love, infatuation, affection, and desire, all in the form of the man sleeping next to you. You’d used to kiss, dance and sing to a song only your souls knew, and now you don’t think you recognize him anymore.

As much as he is him, he’s also but just the ghost of what he was. He’s trouble, danger in the shape of innocence, and you recall his words from earlier. You recall the despair, the regret and sorrow that haunted him after he told you. You can’t let him get to your head.

You reckon sleep might help. Though you’re afraid he’s going to waste away in his sleep, so you set up an alarm every hour, before climbing on the other side of the bed. You don’t pull on the covers, mostly because the cabin is warm, and you can imagine it’s just going to get hotter as the sun goes up and the summer heat slowly sizzles into the countryside.

It’s a good thing you put an alarm on. Because when it rings an hour later, you don’t even remember falling asleep. You’re pretty sure the second your head touched the mattress, you were out to the land of dreams. You groan, mostly because you’ve got a slight headache, but you power through it to make sure San is still breathing.

When you see his chest moving up and down steadily, you let yourself fall back asleep.

This goes on for the whole morning, and you only force yourself to stay up when your phone shows that it’s passed noon. As you had suspected earlier, the cabin has gotten extremely warm, so you force yourself out of bed to open all the windows, and then you use the washcloth from earlier to gently wash San’s face of the sweat.

He doesn’t even flinch in his sleep, but he’s still breathing and for now, that’s all that matters.

You head back to the main room, grabbing a pack of chips from where you had left the food earlier, and then you move outside to sit by the lake. Mostly because you need to put distance between you and San, but also just because the childhood memories of this place have you in their hold, and they’ve decided to make you miss the times when you’d swim around with your cousins before both of them had moved out of town.

One day, it’s going to be you too. You already know where you’d go – on the other side of the country, as far away from here as possible. You just want to forget all about the place you grew up in, and you know that, in a few years, you will have forgotten.

Though you’re pretty sure a certain piercing gaze will haunt you forever, especially after the events of today.

When another hour passes, you head back inside, putting the empty bag of chips in the trash before you check up on San. He’s still asleep, but this time he doesn’t look as pale as he did earlier. You assume it’s going to take him a while before he wakes, so you head to the nearest town to grab more food. Mostly to busy yourself, but also just because you know San will need a place to hide for a lot longer than just the weekend. Might as well make sure you have enough for him to survive a couple of days. In town, you also stop to eat at a small café on a small terrasse in the shade of a few trees, and then you grab the food you think you might need at the grocery store.

It’s the middle of the afternoon when you get back, realizing that you forgot to buy a floor mat. As you spy San, who hasn’t moved an inch since he’s fallen asleep, you figure that sleeping next to him tonight should be fine.

As long as his presence in your vicinity doesn’t drag you down memory lane again.

You bought some meat in town, so you head to the little shack outside where the generator is hiding. There’s a gas canister right next to it – also full – and you busy yourself for the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When it finally rumbles to life, you head back inside to put the meat in the fridge, which has finally come to life.

When you hear a groan, you quickly jog to San’s side, fully expecting to find him awake. Surprisingly, he’s still asleep, and you stay next to him for a full minute, thinking he might groan again, though he remains entirely silent.

If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down steadily, you’d believe him to be dead. But now that a few hours have passed, you’re pretty positive he’ll make it, though he’s probably going to sleep through the day and possibly through the next one too.

Which leaves you in the most peaceful atmosphere you’ve been in for a while, with the opportunity to study as you listen to the rush of wind in the leaves of the tall trees surrounding the cabin. You sit outside, this time near the fireplace, and you study until your stomach grumbles, indicating that it is time for you to cook.

You cook the meat you’ve bought on the grill outside, feeling thankful that your dad once showed you how to use it. You go back in to grab a bottle of water before you eat, and you’re bent in the fridge when you hear San moan again, and this time it sounds like he’s saying something.

You gently close the fridge, making your way to the bedroom. San hasn’t moved, but his features are creased in a frown, and sweat is rolling down his temples. You wet the washcloth, gently wipe his face, and you’re about to leave when he moans again.

It takes you far too long to realize he’s apologizing. What for, you can’t really tell. Though you remember his troubled eyes this morning, you remember his story, and your heart breaks in your chest.

He’s haunted. You think the ghost of the dead guy will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. And suddenly you’re struck thinking maybe, maybe if you hadn’t broken his heart all those years ago, you could have saved him from the gang.

Maybe you could have opened his eyes.

You still remember the break-up like it was yesterday. You remember the rain, him leaving without once looking back, but mostly you remember the words you had uttered. Ghosts of their own, that feel more real now that he’s come back into your life.

*****

“You’re going to get hurt!” you yelled. “You’ll get hurt, San. What are you thinking?”

He scoffed, shaking his head, and little droplets of water shot all around him. “I’ll be careful. We need the money if we ever want to make it out of this shit town.”

You blinked away tears, folding your arms on your chest as you tried to keep your heart from breaking. Though you reckoned it had broken when your parents had told you what they knew about San. When your father had mentioned Ateez, and you’d truly realized what it meant that he was part of a gang. San, your sweet, soft, and bubbly San, in a gang that had murdered someone just a few weeks ago.

“But that’s not a way to make money!” you screamed, hoping he’d understand. Hoping he’d hear the truth in your words, hoping he’d change his mind before it was too late. “Why don’t you get a part-time job, like me? Then we can go to college and get jobs in a nice city on the other side of the country!”

“It won’t work,” he drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want to be out soon, not in a few years. I barely even have a roof over my head, Y/n…”

“Come live with me,” you choked out around the lump in your throat.

You both knew fully well that your parents would never let him come near you again.

“I can’t.”

You cried, hiding your face in your hands. You cried thinking of the field where you usually met, thinking about its beauty now fading into ugliness. You thought about the wildflowers, withered and dead as autumn had come. You thought about how you were convinced you knew what love was.

“What’s the point?” you asked then. “What’s the point of putting your life in danger? Life isn’t some sort of a game, Choi San. Worse, what if you have to hurt someone? Do you think you’ll be able to pull the trigger?”

He clenched his jaw, hard. “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.”

You closed your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach. Because it couldn’t be. Not San. Not your smiley San, who’d always weave dandelions crowns with you, as you’d pretend you were a queen and a king of that field you had found. An empty field, an abandoned farmland that was just yours and his to explore. That had been home to your first kiss, and all of those that had followed.

Now you wondered why he had always wanted to meet there in the first place. Was he trying to hide?

"If you love me, you’ll get out while you still can,” you said as your tears suddenly ended.

There was a weird sense of clarity in you, suddenly. You remembered the day you had fallen in love, the moment you had first kissed. You remembered the stars in the sky above, the meteors falling for the two of you. You remembered the music on the radio you had brought. Some Arctic Monkeys song about heartbreak, about moving on and failing to do so. As a joke, when it had ended, you had asked San, “Do you think love is a laserquest?”

His answer had been cryptic, mysterious, things that had made you believe he was the one. “Maybe. Maybe it is, and I’ve shot you in the back while you weren’t looking. Maybe I’m that annoying player that won’t leave you alone.”

“I’ll never find you annoying,” you had replied.

But today, watching the rain rolling down his face like tears, you realized that maybe, maybe you should have seen the warning behind his words. Because this betrayal, it came like he had shot you in the back – you didn’t think you’d be able to recover from it.

The past dwindled away as San spoke again, reminding you of the question you had just asked him. “It’s not a question of love, Y/n. I do love you. But it’s a question of survival.”

You laughed, coldly, and then you said, “You know what? You’re full of shit.”

“Alright then. Do me a favour and tell me to go away.”

“Go away.”

A long silence had lingered between you, voided of that summer warmth that had you falling in love. Like a piece was missing from the contract of you loving him, and him loving you. And you realized, maybe you had never really loved each other anyway.

He nodded once when you didn’t say anything else, before turning away. And you watched him walk away. You watched him thinking he was going to turn around and tell you this was just some twisted joke, the prank of the century. Only, he never turned around, and he disappeared behind the bend in the road, never to be seen again, cracking your heart open and splitting it in half.

*****

The sun sets, like an ending to a dream. You’ve always liked the end – you think if you could choose, you’d want to witness the end of the world. The nostalgia, the beauty of endings… it’s something you understand now that you didn’t understand when you were younger. Because you and San ending, it had led to you focusing on high school. It had allowed you to get in the good college in town, with a scholarship that covered most of your expenses before you made it to med school.

There’s beauty in knowing losing San has allowed you to live out your dreams.

There’s less beauty in knowing that San has been sleeping for almost thirty-four hours now. Last time you checked, he was still breathing, but you’re starting to be afraid that he just won’t wake up. It’s irrational, you know – after the blood loss it makes sense that he’d sleep for a long time.

But it leaves you with far too much time on your hands to think and revisit the past. You’ve been doing it all day – thinking about the fight with your parents that had led to your break-up with San, thinking about that damn rainy evening he had walked away without once looking back. Thinking of the field, of sunshine and star falls and the sweetness of a first kiss. Thinking that, then, you thought you knew what it was like to be in love.

You haven’t dated anyone serious since San. Hyunmin was a distraction for a while, but you never were into it. Not like you were into San. There’s a guy in your class though, that you’ve been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He’s sweet, innocent, and the perspective of a future seems less scary with him around. He’s mentioned he wants to move across the country once too, and since then you’ve started talking more, the similarity of your wishes drawing you closer.

All day today you’ve been feeling like you’re slowly drifting away though. Slowly getting entrapped in a web you’re not sure you’ll be able to walk away from.

You decide to swim, seeking the fresh clarity only cold water can bring to you. You don’t have a swimsuit with you, but since San is half-dead in bed you figure it doesn’t matter. So you strip naked, feet making squelching sounds in the mud by the lake side as you step in the water.

The sharp cold has you holding your breath, but you don’t slow down. You’ve never slowed down in life – when you make a decision, you bring it to completion. And you’ve decided to swim, so swim you will.

The warm summer evening breeze catches in your hair as you take another step forward, the water now lapping at your thighs. You dread the moment it’ll hit your core, knowing that that’s the worst part, but you breathe in deeply, moving forward. Because there’s no moving backwards now.

When the water hits, your eyes flutter shut, and you hold in the wince that threatens to escape the mask of calm your features hold. Soon enough, you get deep enough to swim, and the movements bring welcomed warmth to your limbs as you flop on your back, tits out of the water.

Your uncle’s cabin is the only cabin in a fifteen miles radius. You know you won’t be interrupted, and so you let the water cool you down. Calm you down, hold you in its fresh embrace. It undoes knots in your back that have formed from worrying about San, but also from worrying about college.

From worrying that you will never be enough. You think it’s a normal anxiety to have, something most people must feel as they go through the trials of college, not knowing what to expect on the other side. A nice career, perhaps, though the perspective of failure is there too, looming over the horizon.

You sigh, and your eyes flutter open as your legs move mindlessly under you, making sure to keep you afloat. You look up at the azury ceiling over your head, so far away as it slowly turns gold. Out of touch, out of grasp. You watch the fluffy white clouds that are lazily crossing the sky, turning fiery in the sunset, as if they have all the time in the universe. And you wish you were them, up above. With nothing to worry about.

Without a Choi San on the brink of death lying about twenty meters away from you. You sigh, and you turn in the water, with the purpose of swimming again. Though your gaze catches movement by the cabin, and your head snaps towards it to see none other than the supposedly Choi San, standing on the deck with a hand clutching his side.

You shriek, looking down at yourself. Most of you is hidden, but you don’t know how long he’s been there. Don’t know if he’s seen you naked as you looked up at the sky.

He doesn’t move, only watches you where you’re swimming.

“Can you please look away?” you say from the water, and he has the nerves to lean against the railing, eyes still boring into where you’re swimming. You think his gaze might be so hot the water will boil, and it startles you into action.

You start walking out of the water, pointing towards the door. “You shouldn’t be up, Choi San.”

“I feel fine,” he says as you take another step forward, and the water barely hides your tits anymore.

That makes him turn around, as he offers you a little bit of privacy. You’re quick to get out of the water and wrap yourself in the towel you brought outside, and then you collect your clothes to head back to the cabin. San dutifully keeps his gaze away until you’re climbing the three steps leading to the deck, and it’s then that his eyes trail to you again.

“Thank you for the water,” he says, offering you a tentative smile.

You left water by his bedside earlier today hoping it will coax him to wake up. You’re strangely surprised that it worked.

“You should go sit inside,” you scold him, only half-heartedly. Because seeing him up and about reassures you, somehow.

He cocks an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The weather is beautiful, I’d rather sit outside.”

You roll your eyes, but you do let him walk down the stairs to sit by the fireplace while you go inside to take a quick shower and get dressed. You decide to make some food for him, though you know he shouldn’t eat too much right now, after not having eaten for a while. He has to start slowly, and you don’t even know if he’s hungry anyway.

You settle for preparing a cup of chicken noodle soup for him, so at least it isn’t too heavy on his stomach. You bring it to him outside, as he’s just calmly observing the lake.

“Thank you,” he says, voice small as he grabs the cup and the spoon.

You sit next to him, trying not to watch him eat too much. His hair is sticking to his forehead in some places, and you have the distinct thought that he’ll probably need to shower. At least there’s plenty of rain water in the bucket for the water pump.

“What have you been doing while I was out?” he asks.

You spare him a quick glance before losing your gaze in the rocks of the fireplace. “I’ve studied. Checked up on you. Not much honestly.”

He chuckles. “I’d argue that caring for someone is a lot.”

You glance at him, cheeks burning at the sight of his teasing smile. “Not really.”

He chuckles again, but doesn’t say anything more before eating another spoonful of soup. He’s almost done with the cup when he actually does speak, asking, “How long was I out?”

“A day and a half,” you answer. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t slept longer.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m made of tough stuff.”

You snicker, but you don’t say anything, just focusing on where you’re kicking at the dirt. When he’s done with the cup, he puts it down on the ground next to him, before sitting back in the chair. He stretches out his legs in front of him, sighing deeply.

“I still feel out of it,” he admits, and you meet his gaze.

“You can sleep more,” you tell him. “I’d just like to check on the…”

You don’t even have to finish your sentence. He immediately turns so his side is to you, and you have to admit you’ve done a perfectly good job with the stitches.

“So?” he asks.

“All good.” You pat his shoulder. “You can sit comfortably again.”

He’s smiling when he does so, and his gaze wanders to the lake once again. “I’m sorry I…” he trails off, and he chuckles softly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little swim earlier.”

You have the decency to flush furiously red, and you shrug your shoulders. “No worries, I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon.”

You fall in a comfortable silence, surprisingly so. Rare stars dot the darkening sky up above, and all that can be heard for a moment is the flap of a bird’s wing as it moves from branches to branches in the trees by the water. The breeze picks up as you watch the little bird, and the leaves dance, loudly so. You’d think it’d be deafening in the silence between you and him, but it’s strangely reassuring.

As if, after all, you found your way back to the field. Only this time it’s completely different, as if decades have passed between you. At least, that’s how it feels like.

You notice San has dozed off in the chair next to you when you were about to speak to him again. To ask him how he’s truly been, in the years between then and now. Hoping to avoid mentioning what led to him coming to you, yesterday, a whole eternity ago.

You watch him, heart aching in your chest. Aching to reach out and brush his hair away from his forehead, aching to heal the cut on his cheek with a gentle swipe of your fingers. If only medicine was so simple…

It seems the peace of the early evening wasn’t going to stay around, because you notice dark clouds rolling in the distance, streaks of lightning cutting through them. Slowly inching closer, menacingly so, and you gently wake San up with your hand on his wrist.

He startles awake, hand shooting to his waist, finding nothing there. It startles you, and you both stare at each other for a moment until you realize what he was looking for.

His gun.

“San…” you let out and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling shut as he breathes in and out raggedly.

“Sorry.”

“San, I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t open his eyes, refuses to let you see the vulnerability you glimpsed behind his piercing gaze. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s terrified, deadly so.

“Let’s go in,” you tell him, softly. Because you’re afraid you’ll spook him, when he’s clearly been living in fear long enough. “There’s a storm coming.”

He nods, carefully getting up without sparing you a glance. He heads inside, hand clutching his side again, while you pick up the chicken noodle soup cup before following him.

You’ve refilled the generator before swimming, so you know it’s been charging the batteries for a while now. You don’t fear ending up in the dark with San, and there’s also always the option of using the lamps and candles your uncle always leave here in case of an emergency.

The storm doesn’t roll in until a little later. You’ve forced San to put a shirt on – mostly so your eyes would stop betraying you, dropping to his toned body whenever he talked to you. You’re currently sitting on the couch, and as the rain starts, hammering against the window behind you, you pull your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms comfortably around them.

“How hard do the storms hit here?” he asks, eyes trailed to the world outside.

You follow his gaze, right as wind picks up to make the water hit the window even harder, creating a cacophony that forces you to speak louder for him to hear. “Pretty hard.”

He nods, and he glances once at you. “Fun.”

You smile, because you’ve always liked storms. Have always found them electrifying, energizing.

“Do you remember when we used to go to the field when it rained?” San asks, taking you by surprise.

Making your heart clench so hard in your chest you have to take a wobbly breath in. If he notices he doesn’t say.

“We were always in that field,” you remind him. “No matter the weather.”

It’s his turn to smile fondly. “It got so pretty with all the wildflowers. But you were afraid of the bees.”

“Bees are scary!” You laugh, and he echoes it with a soft chuckle. “You’re the one that almost pissed yourself when we saw the rat.”

That makes him laugh, and he winces in pain clutching his side. “Gosh, is it supposed to keep on hurting like this?”

It douses your enthusiasm and your smile falls. “Well, it was a solid cut.”

His eyes get lost in the void as he takes on a wistful expression. “I’m surprised I didn’t die.”

You gulp, watching his profile carefully. “It wasn’t deep enough for that…” you trail off, even though you spent most of yesterday and today being convinced he’d die. “At least they didn’t… stab you.”

“They would have if… Wooyoung didn’t shoot.”

You remain silent, not knowing what to reply to that. San interprets that as discomfort, and he quickly adds, “He didn’t shoot them. Just… in the air. It attracted the police.”

You remember the cars zooming past the diner a lifetime ago, and you nod your head. “I heard.”

He seems surprised, and his gaze finally finds yours again. “You did?”

“Yeah.” You chuckle, a little awkwardly. “I hear a lot of shootings, in the diner.”

His eyes widen, mouth falling open cutely. “You do?”

You don’t know what he expected. The diner is right between Ateez and Bangtan territory, and as much as it is a safe space, it is also near enough to dangerous grounds, and you’ve heard plenty of shooting in your time working there.

“Always,” you admit. “It can get scary sometimes… but you also get used to it.”

He looks sad. Infinitely so, like a lost puppy. That’s when the first thunder hits, so sharp and sudden you startle. Not quite as much as San, who ducks, wincing in pain as he clutches his side.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” you ask, in time with another thunderclap, though this time it’s more of a rumble.

You watch his chest as he breathes in and out quickly. “Just… fuck.”

Now, concern grows in you, and you gently put a hand on his shoulder. “San…”

He meets your gaze, and there’s so much white in his it makes you think of a terrified prey. And then it clicks: he thought it was a gunshot.

“Hey,” you quickly say, moving closer to him. You’re on the side of the stitches, so you still keep a safe distance between the two of you, but you grab his hand nonetheless. “You’re okay.”

“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say.

“I promise, no one’s going to find you here.”

He remains silent this time around, eyes still boring into yours. You take that as a cue to continue, because you don’t want him to panic. You want his thoughts here, with you, and not miles away in a city he should have escaped from years ago. You wish he had, knowing the atrocities that he would have avoided.

Would he have escaped with you, had you stayed just a little longer?

“I killed someone,” he says, and you balk at the silver lining his gaze. “I fucking killed him.”

You don’t know how to help. All you can think to do is cup his cheek, right as he starts breathing even faster. “Breathe with me, San.”

He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes fall to your mouth. You make a good show of inhaling slowly, before exhaling even slower. It takes him a moment but he eventually follows your lead.

It breaks when there’s another sharp thunderclap, and he flinches, eyes shutting instinctively.

“Hey hey hey,” you say again, even more gentle, softer than before. You move even closer, and when a tear slips out of his closed eyes, you pull him into a hug, careful not to brush his side.

His head falls on your shoulder, and one of his arms wrap around your waist. A thunderclap later, he starts sobbing, fist balling the fabric of your shirt in his tight hold, and you let him do it. You let him hold onto you, hoping it’ll keep him here with you. Hoping it’ll keep him afloat during the storm that’s raging both outside and in his mind.

“It’s going to be okay,” you breathe, and you feel like you’re lying to him.

Because how can he ever be safe from the ghosts inside of his skull? The ghosts wandering the halls of him, tainting his soul with their presence?

“He’s never going to smile again,” San chokes out. “Everyone loved him. Even in Ateez… Jungkook was the best of us. The only one who had a shot at getting out of it.”

You don’t know how good he could have been, if he was a member of Bangtan. In your mind, you’d always seen Bangtan as the bad guys, mostly because they weren’t with San. Even when you had been struggling to evade that life, you’d still rooted for him.

It’s strange how you just realize that now, as you’re holding him while he breaks.

“You didn’t mean to kill him,” you remind San, still speaking with the calmest voice you can muster up. “You didn’t want to, San. You’re not a murderer.”

“I’m still a killer,” he says. He sounds angry, and you reckon he might be angry at himself. Might be consumed with his actions, dragged to hell before his time as his mind gets stuck replaying the events.

“Maybe,” you answer. “But,” you quickly add when he stiffens in your arms. “But you can spend the rest of your life making up for it. Repenting.”

He doesn’t respond right away, as he breaks some more, sobs rocking through him. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when you were younger and in love. It makes your gaze wet, yet you hold on strong for him. You keep your head held high, and you allow him to break in the safe haven that your arms represent.

Because to him, you’ve never been tainted. You’ve always been the ideal he was trying to pursue, albeit the wrong way.

“I don’t know how to repent,” he admits when he calms down. He turns his head, and his nose brushes along the skin of your neck, slightly tickling you. You ignore the feeling, especially as he adds, “Ateez… it’s all I’ve ever known.”

You run a hand on his back, soothingly. “It isn’t.”

Because there was you, too. There was the summer field and the twinkling stars and Artic Monkeys on the radio. There was the two of you, petal-soft kisses exchanged in the dead of night and in the brightness of day. There were rainy days, and then there was rain. There was him walking away, and you hate yourself then.

You wish you had stopped him that day, had kept him from going on to become what he’s become now. A person he clearly hates, someone that has a bounty on his head. Someone that doesn’t even believe they’re allowed redemption and you reckon you don’t even know if he is.

You only know that seeing him break is bending your will, the way the wind outside is bending the trees. All you can hope is that, like the tall trees, you won’t break.

*****

The storm calmed down sometime around midnight. San ended up falling asleep on the couch, as you’d reassuringly ran your hand through his hair, trying to keep him with you. Though you think he’s been slipping through your fingers, into his demons.

You’ll find a way to bring him back. You have to. Turns out it comes faster than you think, as the electricity runs out and you busy yourself with lighting some candles throughout the main room. When you’re done, you put a blanket over him, and you almost let out a startled scream as his eyes shot open.

“Hello,” you say, resting a hand on your heart to tame the wild beats.

You’re about to move away, but he grabs your hand, forcing you to sit next to him. You don’t really resist, though you think you probably should. You’re weak – weaker still when he murmurs your name.

“San,” you whisper in return, and you’re aware your voice carries too much longing. Longing for a past when life’s atrocities hadn’t changed either of you yet.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and a tear rolls on his cheek.

You dry it, fingers lingering there. “It’s okay.”

“Angel…”

The nickname brings you back to laser quests and favours and warmth creeping up your stomach for the first time in your life.

“I’m no angel,” you breathe.

“You saved me.”

You hold his gaze. There’s something hiding behind his pupils. The need, to forget. You don’t think you have the ability to run his mind through amnesia, but still you brush his cheek again.

“You deserved saving.”

His eyes glaze once more, though this time no tears fall. “It’s hard to believe it.”

“Do you still believe love is a laser quest?” you ask him, out of the blue.

As if you’re a line straight of that Arctic Monkeys song you listened to the first time you kissed.

“Maybe,” he says, a parallel to that first time you had asked the question. “Maybe it is.”

You can’t resist. You lean down, and you press the gentlest kiss on his lips. His are dry, but the way he sighs with you against him is soft, for your heart and for your mind, and you kiss him again. He lets you lead, follows the dance of your lips, lets you run your hand through his sweaty hair.

Even if you shouldn’t. Even if you know everything you’re doing right now is a mistake, you still find yourself deepening the kiss, opening your lips to slip your tongue out, teasing his mouth. One of his hands finds your thigh, and he squeezes ever so slightly as his tongue finds yours, and you let out a breathy sound.

When you pull away, eyes fluttering open, you find San’s gaze. You think about the boy he was then, the girl you were then. You think about who you were, together. And when he says, “Please make me forget”, you lean again, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss.

For a reason unknown, the summer sky and falling stars pale in comparison to this kiss. Maybe because it holds longing, nostalgia. Hope that life would have turned out differently. For a moment, you picture what it would have been like, without Ateez. With you and him in the field, in your family house, in a car driving by the beach, windows down as the sun sets and you sing along to the radio, wind blowing in your hair.

You see a whole life there, with you and him marrying in the field, under the sun that had been the host of your first love. You imagine growing up by his side, attending college with him in the big city. You imagine how he would have become the owner of his own construction company, like his dad before him. You picture kids laughing, running around the house he would have built for you. You see Christmas light, late nights antics by the firelight.

You see it all, and you know you’ll never have any of it. But if you can have tonight, then you’ll grab it before it slips through your fingers. Before he walks away in the rain again, only to be a memory you cherish in the deepest corners of your heart.

“How?” you ask him when you pull away.

Mostly, you’re asking how to make him forget. But you’re also asking how it is that the feelings are still there, even stronger now, as if they’ve grown up with you, yet haven’t changed like you have. Like they are a constant of an ever-changing universe.

“Kiss me again,” he asks, begs, and you give in. You kiss him wildly, always making sure not to touch his side and the stitches.

You know sex would be a stupid idea, especially with the fresh stitches. But also because he’s barely had time to recover. But he doesn’t really give you a choice, pulling you on top of him until you’re straddling him.

You sit back on him for a second, eyes trailing to the spot where you know the stitches are. “This isn’t a good idea,” you whisper through the ragged breaths caused by the ministrations of his mouth on yours and of yours on his.

“I’m fine,” he says, and you know you shouldn’t believe him. But when he pulls you down again, large hand holding the nape of your neck firmly so you don’t escape, you want to believe him.

Want to believe the beauty of his lies, like you had when you were younger.

From where you’re perched, you can feel the start of his erection pressing against you, and you moan softly in the kiss, rolling your hips. His mouth falls open, and you capture his tongue, sucking on it once before you pull away, leaving hot kisses on his jaw.

“Sit on my face,” he says, and he sounds out of his mind. Crazed, a little like you too feel at the moment.

“What?”

“Can’t get hurt if you sit on my face, angel,” he explains, and then hisses when you suck a hickey on his neck.

You let him pull your shirt off, unclasping your bra yourself as you sit back on his lap. He cups your breasts, rolling your erect nipples between his thumbs and indexes. You moan again, grinding your hips into his, and he hisses once more.

“You want to taste me?” you ask, head throwing back as he pinches your nipples hard.

“I’d fuck you, but you’re the doctor. Can’t risk fucking up my stitches, huh?” he replies, voice low and husky.

Your core heats up, pussy clenching around nothing. This is a side of him you’ve never seen, though you spy desperation beneath it. Like he thinks he doesn’t have forever, when it comes to you.

He’s right. Because tomorrow, you’ll have to go back into town, into the hellscape you call home. What will be left of the two of you then?

So when he tugs at your pants, you give in and get up, taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion. You step out of them, blood heating up by the way he’s looking at you through half-lidded eyes, gaze burning on you.

You have half a thought that you could probably ride him instead of his face, but when you see his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, making them glisten in the candlelight, you need to know what it’ll feel like against you.

So you straddle his face as he guides you down, large hands pushing on your thighs until your pussy is a hairsbreadth away from his lips. He blows on it, and your eyes shut with sensitivity. You clutch the cushion of the couch, hoping it’ll help steady you, but the moment his tongue flicks at your clit, you realize nothing will be able to steady you. Yet you still hold onto it, especially as he dives his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juice. He moans in contentment, before moving to your clit again. And his tongue is wicked down there, like it knows exactly what you like.

You grab a handful of his hair, grinding into his face. You’re pretty sure he’s chuckling down there, and then he unleashes himself. Sucking hard, alternating circling motions to teasing you with his teeth. You’d expect the latter to hurt, but the way he does it just makes you see stars, and your pussy clenches around nothing again.

San is deadly good with his mouth. Both with crafting lies and pulling moans out of you, and your thighs tighten against his face as he sucks particularly hard, before dipping his tongue inside of you. His nose brushes your clit, and then he forces you to properly sit on him.

The way his tongue moves inside of you, lapping up your juices while opening you up, has you on the brink of an orgasm in no time. Especially as he makes you grind again, holding you tight into place. When one of his hands moves from around your thigh to reach your clit, you cry out, head throwing back.

He’s quick to rub at your sensitive clit, and you grab one of your breasts, massaging it mindlessly before you pinch your nipple, hard, right in time with a skilled swipe of his tongue. Your orgasm meets you there, shaking through you as it explodes in a blinding flash of light. You moan, loudly, something that resembles his name, and he keeps you going, guides you through your high until you cringe with oversensitivity.

Only then does he let you climb off from his face. You stand on wobbly legs, before deciding to sit next to him, and you catch sight of the smirk on his lips. It makes you blush, right as you realize what you’ve just done.

When you realize what kind of sinful activity he’s dragged you in, this time around.

“Gosh,” is all you manage to say.

He chuckles, clearly proud with himself. “That felt good?”

You worry at your bottom lip, eyes going down to the tent in his pants. You want to pleasure him too, to take him in your mouth and make him feel good, but he stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.

“Don’t.”

You still and you meet his gaze with slightly-widened eyes. “Why not?”

His features turn somber, haunted, and the heat of the moment passes so quickly you think it might have been a figment of your imagination.

Were you really riding his face just a moment ago?

“Please just lay next to me,” he says, barely even a whisper.

You don’t know a lot of men that would choose cuddling over getting a blowjob, but if that is what he wants, then you’ll give it to him. You lay next to him, glad that the injured side is closer to the couch. That way, you can cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around you.

“Angel,” he murmurs after a time. “You’re a fucking angel. I think you’re my salvation.”

You highly doubt you hold this kind of power, but you don’t want to tell him. Have never been good at weaving beautiful lies for him to believe.

“We should stay here,” he continues. “Forever.”

And you wish you could. Wish reality didn’t exist, didn’t call for you to go back to your regular life like you’ve never been here with him. But you know tomorrow exists, and you’ll have to leave.

“We should have stayed in the field,” you choose to answer. “Under the shooting stars.”

“I wished for a lifetime with you, then,” he admits. “I wished I’d never have to let you go.”

You’d wished for a similar thing, but life is far too cruel to allow a world of first loves.

“Why did you…” you trail off. The question has haunted your sleepless nights for a long time after the break-up. Even years later, you’d still think about it sometimes, wondering if nostalgia would choke you up. “Why did you decide to join the gang?”

He tenses next to you. But you start tracing a mindless circle on his chest, through the shirt, and it distracts him enough for him to reply. “I thought I didn’t have a choice.”

“Did you?”

His voice holds the weight of the world when he says, “I did. And I made the wrong one.”

You want to cry, but you’re older now. You’re not the teenager who thought she was going to die from losing him anymore. You know what living without Choi San is like, and as much as it hurts, you know that it’s doable.

“You made the one you believed was right,” you say carefully. “But I do wish you had made a different one.”

He holds you a little tighter, as if that will make it so tomorrow never comes. “Me too.”

There’s an eternity of flickering candlelight on the ceiling, of the circles you trace on his chest and of your breathings forming a melody. Outside, the wind has died down, and the world is silent except from an occasional cricket braving the world after the storm.

“Where will you go, once you graduate?” he asks, taking you by surprise.

Because he knows. It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed.

“As far away from here as I can.”

“I hope you find peace, wherever you go,” he whispers. “I hope you forget all about how we grew up in a hellhole.”

Do you feel bad for saying it? Maybe. But you can’t help saying it anyway. “I will, San.”

And like that rainy day years ago, you think you can see him walk away.

*****

Seven years later

The winter sun is strangely bright, up above. You’d think it will warm you up, but the cold is relentless, violent, and it sneaks into your coat as you walk out of the hospital. You’ve just finished a thirty-hour shift, and you can’t wait to be home.

To take a shower and forget that you’ve lost a patient today.

But you’ve saved another. A young man, with a stab wound in his ribs that should have killed him. But you saved him, stabilized his condition to the point you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Which is the only reason why you’re allowing yourself to leave now.

You’re never able to leave until you know your patients are okay. It’s been that way since your first patient, in a cabin in the woods you’ve done your best to forget.

You’d let San stay, after that weekend. He had given you the number of one of his friends, so you could get some clothes for him, and you’d gone back the next weekend. Bringing him the clothes, making love to him under the moonlight as if that would change the ending.

The following week, you had gone back to find the cabin empty. He’d left a note behind.

I hope I can find you again, wherever you go.

You kept the note. It’s in your bedside table, back at home, in the nice apartment you’ve been able to rent for yourself with all the money you’ve been making now. Enough to pay back student loans from med school, enough to reassure you that never again will you struggle.

You’ve never seen San again after. He hasn’t found you, and you haven’t searched for him. Have only looked up his name a couple of times, in the months following his disappearing, scared you’d find out that he was found dead in a ditch. But his name never came up, and you wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had managed to find a place where Bangtan couldn’t reach him.

You found peace, on your side of the country. Life is kinder here, though it still holds the same atrocities. You wonder if it’s the novelty of the city, or maybe if you’ve just grown old enough to be able to withstand the bad that the world throws your way. It’s hard to tell – you haven’t kept contact with anyone from back home, except Jae-on.

Jae-on, who’s moved with you when you’ve decided to come here, like he said he would. Jae-on, who asked you to marry him in late October, and you said yes. The ring sits heavy on your finger, and you mindlessly play with it.

In another world, you would already be married to Choi San. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of that world – a piercing gaze in the morning, a smile and a kiss to your temple. Talks about angels, children screaming in happiness. In another world, you’d be pregnant again, waiting patiently to add another piece of you and him to this world.

It’s fun to think about, sometimes, but you’ve been good at forgetting. Like you told him you would – most times, you’ve forgotten all about Choi San.

But today, you had a patient that reminded you of him. So you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to think about that note tucked in the bottom drawer of your bedside table, hidden under the thick socks you never use.

You allow yourself to think about the cabin in the woods, about the field where you would have gotten married had you been in that picturesque world you like to imagine. You think about laser quests and first kiss and rainy days and meteors. You think about summer, about wildflowers and him.

You’re so lost in thought you miss your stop home, and you begrudgingly get out at the next one. You’re tired, and your hands are shaking as you pull your phone out of your tote bag, wanting to text Jae-on that you’re going to be home late because you missed your stop. You walk to the other side of the tracks, sighing when you see a five-minutes wait for the next subway.

At least the sun is high in the sky, even though it is dreadfully cold. You shiver, putting your phone back in your tote bag so you can hide your hands in your sleeves again, hoping it’ll preserve them from the cold.

In your exhaustion, you forgot your gloves back at the hospital, you realize. It’s strange that you only realize now, and you reckon you really need to sleep, because your brain isn’t even working right anymore.

You sigh, glancing at the display showing the time. Still four minutes to wait. You think at this rhythm you might freeze in your spot before the next subway comes. You try to hide your face in the lapel of your coat, but a movement on the other platform attracts your gaze.

A man is helping an older woman climb down the stairs. She’s speaking loudly, which might be what attracted your gaze in the first place. You follow them as they walk down the stairs, and then when the man turns towards you, you meet his piercing gaze.

He smiles, and you realize that maybe, all those years ago, he was not spinning lies to you after all.

☆☆☆☆☆

Gosh yeahhh rereading it had me ralize that it is a lot sadder than I remembered it to be. At least we got an open ending ... :') What did we think? Should I write about other groups more often? Let me know what you think! All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate

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alessiamalfoyzabini · 2 months

Text

Dark Moon | Chapter Two

Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader

Word Count | 3,7k

Warnings | +18, explicit language, kidnapping, yandere, mentions of prostitution, Jimin is really a bastard, harassments, threats with a gun, forced vaginal inspection, humiliation and teasing, light blood consumption, virgin girls are sold, forced separation

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.

And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.

That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.

He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! The second chapter of Dark Moon has arrived, thank you for all the compliments and support ❤

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal

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When Y/N regained consciousness she felt her head spin and something go up her stomach, she was nauseous as well as very cold, even her leg did not seem to be in optimal condition. A white light filtered past her eyelashes, forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut before groaning, trying, in vain, to move. She turned wearily on her side, realizing only then that she was lying on an icy floor. "The mare has awakened," said a voice with a deep cadence. The girl tried wearily to at least get on her knees, but failed to do so; her head was assailed by memories of a few hours ago, they were confused, but one thing she distinctly remembered. A face. A male face full of piercings, of cruel extraordinary beauty. "You better not move a step, you have a gun pointed at your head, baby doll," said another voice, higher and smoother. As her eyes adjusted to the light she focused on the gun in question, clutched in the gloved hand of the same man she remembered. His face was as beautiful as a god's, he had piercings on his lower lip, as well as on his eyebrow and all along the side line of his neck, stretching all the way under his leather coat. His dark hair, on the other hand, was combed so that his forehead was left uncovered, his amphibians also stood tall and menacing, just like the rest of him.

He held that gun with monstrous ease, his stoic expression telling her that he would not think twice about shooting her if he had to. She licked her lips, finding them dry and cracked, before she began to speak. "What do you want from me? I have nothing to interest you," she said in a scratchy voice, hugging her legs in a vain attempt to shield herself from his eyes. "You are quite wrong, dear," the other stepped forward, he was taller than the man with the piercings and his hair was silver, yet the hardness of his eyes was the same, "You have made a request and we are here to fulfill it." The young woman frowned, before the realization finally came. "Now you remember, right? You asked to work for us, in fact ... you both asked." The young woman widened her eyes and immediately remembered her younger sister, looked around in panic noticing the smaller body far away from her. She tried to get up to reach her, but the sound of a trigger froze her. "I told you not to take a step, I might blow your leg off, but that would not please my boss, so let's avoid giving each other trouble," huffed the dark-haired man, he was ruthless. She began to tremble, realizing the trouble she and her sister had gotten themselves into.

They had applied to work everywhere from small bars to supermarkets, not leaving out discos and more domestic jobs. But there was no work, or the pay was starvation. Finally she had made the leap, finding herself applying for jobs in a variety of red-light clubs, and before she could say or do anything, her sister had also followed suit, but she didn't think it would end like that for them. "We never received any recruitment letters or emails, so what are you talking about?" she hissed through clenched teeth. The taller one looked at her sideways, "The Dark Moon is not used to hiring the way you imagine, sweetheart...to fit into its standards you have to possess certain qualities and you two have all of them." If possible that answer left her even more confused, the dark-haired man with the piercings huffed, "Boobs and three holes to fill are not enough, once you enter the Dark Moon you never leave, those who "win" our attention do so because they live far away from their family and with a low lifestyle," he explained vulgarly, heedless of the increasingly evident pallor on the young woman's face. Everything was clear now, one of the brothels to which she had sent her application was much more than that, there was a highly illegal prostitution ring behind it, involving the total disappearance of girls from the rest of the world. The menacing appearance of the two men spoke volumes.

What had they gotten themselves into? "Wait a minute, ours was a request made without thinking" she tried to negotiate, but the grin on the pierced boy's face grew. Jimin was amused, did the poor deluded woman really believe that there was any way back? He shook his head, "Without thinking? You ran away from home because of an abusive family, dropping out of school and cleaning here and there to earn enough to afford a low Motel in the lowest neighborhood in town...it doesn't seem to me that you applied without thinking, in fact, it was desperation that convinced you and you even got bingo," he chuckled nastily. The girl cashed the blow, bending over herself; there was no remedy. She had been kidnapped and a madman was pointing a gun at her with impressive ease, the other man would probably hurt her sister if she decided to challenge them. She felt like crying, but she pushed back her tears; she would not let them see her whimpering like a child. After a few seconds a choked sigh was heard, Y/N opened her eyes again with fear. She turned toward her sister, who terrified looked at her with a lost and confused look. "What...? Y/N, what's going on?" she asked with some difficulty due to the drug used on her.

"Blair, stay there!" she exclaimed, but her sister tried to get up anyway, and the taller guy had to intervene, pushing the younger one against the concrete wall without any kindness, pulled the gun out of his jacket, and Y/N felt herself dying, yelled at him to leave her alone, pushing herself toward them, but a heavy kick to the leg stopped her actions. She groaned in pain, staring at the piercing guy's boot pressing right against her thigh, there where a purplish bruise had already taken shape from the violent sting. "Ha-ha! You're such a naughty little girl, you know? Lucky for you that wasn't a step, because otherwise I would have had to use this," he said in a childish tone, teasing her by moving the barrel of his gun left and right. Y/N swallowed hard, chewing between her teeth the pain she so badly wanted to vent, that boy was scary to her, there was a veil of madness behind his dark eyes. She did not want to find out how far she could push him, that madness. Namjoon, on the other hand, went no further with her sister, just put her back in her place. She resumed breathing as the man moved away from her, but a knock on the door made her stomach flip over. The two men exchanged a brief glance; it was Jimin who opened it without lowering his gun.

Y/N saw three other men enter the building, one of whom towered prominently over the others. He wore a gorgeous fur coat over his smoking, and his incredibly handsome face was obscured by an apathetic expression. The other two, on the other hand, were dressed quite similarly to those who had taken her hostage; they, too, were beautiful and surreally dangerous. "Are there only two of them?" the man in the fur coat asked, pointing at her and her sister. "They are the only ones who passed all the requirements, they are also quite pretty, Jin," shrugged the man the girl had labeled "The Tall One." The Jin in question squared them carefully, Y/N felt naked under his gaze and wished she could hug her sister to protect her from them, but she could not. She would be of no use to her dead. "What are their names?" "Byeon Y/N and Byeon Blair, they are sisters, they used this surname in the application, definitely not the right one...as you can see, they are not Korean." "Good job, Namjoon... As for their status?"

The girl didn't know how they could know all that, because it was true, they had changed their last name so that they didn't have to be related to their father and his family, but what made her cringe was the word "status," underlined in a strange way. The one she seemed to understand was called Namjoon remained silent a few seconds, then shook his head, "We haven't checked." "No problem, we'll do it now," he moved a finger toward the other two, "Taehyung, Hoseok," he said, but the pierced boy got in the way. "Leave this one to me," he said, intriguing Seokjin. "Why, Jimin? You usually avoid by saying it's too hard to handle them." Now she knew the name of that devil, but still not understanding what they intended to check, something told her she would not like to find out, she exchanged a glance with her sister. She saw her as frightened as she had ever been in her life, and it certainly should not have helped to see her, her older sister, in the same condition, so she tried to calm her expression, though with little result. "I have a score to settle with her," she said earnestly, it was then that Y/N remembered the kick thrown at the man's face in her fury to escape him, but she couldn't see any bruises so it must not have hurt him that much, right? The other nodded, "All right."

Next she saw the man named Hoseok heading toward her sister, who pushed herself against the wall trying to escape, but she was surrounded by men with guns and could do nothing. Y/N sprinted toward her, but Jimin was quick to grab her by the collar of her shirt. "Be still and quiet, behave yourself and it will only last a few seconds." But she did not understand, what would last only a few seconds? She blanched at the younger one's shocked screams, turned quickly toward her, and what she saw left her bewildered. The red-haired man, Hoseok, was holding Blair's body crushed to the ground while he did something with his hand under the fabric of her shorts, the insight made her shudder and she threw herself at her once more, heedless of Jimin's firm grip, who gritted his teeth at such stupidity. "What the fuck are you doing to her, you bastard! Let her go immediately, before I kill you!" she snarled bright-eyed, aware that as her sister kicked trying to get the man off her, she could only watch with no chance to react. A laugh behind her back made her skin crawl. "He's doing just that to her," she heard him say, before she was pinned to the wall hard, missing her breath for a few moments, time for Jimin to imprison her wrists in one of his hands, reaching with the other to the fabric of her underpants, which he went over, ending right under her panties.

In horror the girl felt the fingers still wrapped in the leather glove tracing her folds and without any care penetrating her tight slit, she cried out in pain and shock, the fingers went all the way, finding nothing to stop them, but Jimin wanted to provoke her a little. "You're so dry that if I continued you would bleed, wouldn't you? Like a virgin, too bad you're not," he whispered in her ear. The young woman, red with shame, overcame her shock and tried to kick him in the groin where an obvious bulge was taking shape, but Jimin ducked in time, stared at her with icy eyes before stepping firmly out of her intimacy, causing her another painful twinge. He let her fall back to the ground observing his fingers, only a few drops glistened on their surface, nothing striking. "She's tight as hell, but she's not a virgin," he communicated to the others in an impassive voice. Hoseok turned away from the youngest, who cowered in shock. "With this one I stopped pretty much right away, she's a virgin," he showed everyone a few drops of blood present on his fingers before licking them.

No one commented on that gesture, as if it was normal for them, Y/N just felt like throwing up, she clenched her legs trying to calm the burning that the bastard had intentionally caused her, god... if they were on equal terms she would have destroyed him. Seokjin nodded, "We'll make a lot of money with that one, I already have an interested customer." Y/N widened her eyes, rising up sharply. "At least let my sister go! She is young and unfit for such a life!" she exclaimed, staring into the eyes of what appeared to be the boss. Taehyung laughed, "Then why did she apply for such a job? Besides, what would she be different from you, is she a princess or something? Come on, we are fair and consistent people we, it wouldn't be fair to you," he teased her, ignoring Blair's sobs, still hunched over herself because of the pain she was feeling. Hoseok did not seem to have gone easy on her, as he had said. "Miss Byeon, the Dark Moon is a place that lives in anonymity, our clients are important people who want to spend moments of pleasure in complete relaxation, I can't afford outside witnesses other than my men, that's exactly why we only pick up girls like you," he began to explain calmly, "Beautiful, but desperate, I offer them protection and comfort, as long as they abide by my rules." Simply put, 'You know too much, and since you've been brought in, you will do as I say'.

Y/N felt lost, there was no turning back, she would be a whore without freedom until the end of her days, and her sister would follow her freewheeling. At that point, with another needle stuck in her flesh, tears flowed copiously without her being able to do anything to stop them.

Y/N regained consciousness in what was no longer a dingy warehouse, but lying on a soft bed with silk and velvet blankets. Smelling of essential oils and wearing a satin blouse, she widened her eyes, turning around. Next to her a girl was arranging some things in the sliding door closet. She was not paying attention to her. "I-where am I?" she asked in a low voice, the girl blocked her actions, then turned to her, glowering at her. "You should know, shouldn't you? You asked to work here yourself," she arrowed, Y/N looked at her shocked. Why had the woman answered her in that rude way? "I don't think I did anything to you to deserve such an attitude," she said in fact, the other rolled her eyes. "You newcomers are all like that, all naive holier-than-thou. You're at the Dark Moon, girl! Place of pleasure and sin, where you will open your legs without a single complaint and I recommend it for your own good," she blurted out, made to leave without adding more, but Y/N stopped her. "My sister! Have you seen my sister?" she ignored the scurvy attitude of that girl as beautiful as she was rude to ask about the younger one, the other looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah, yes...when you arrived they just asked me to get you ready for the room, but I heard about the other one.... She was a virgin, virgins are always sold and never stay at the Dark Moon.... so it was your sister, huh? I'm sorry," she sneered, before leaving the room. The world came crashing down on her, her sister was not there with her, she had been sold without ifs and buts, they had not even given her a chance to see her one last time. She clutched her chest, trapped in a painful grip, and let herself fall on the bed without energy, she merely sobbed for what seemed like hours. She had definitely lost her entire family and there was absolutely nothing she could do to change that. She was gone, Blair was no longer with her, and she would spend the rest of her life spreading her legs for any man with a sizeable bank account. With tears still clinging between her eyelashes she saw the door open once more, revealing the slender figure of another girl, wrapped in a pattern similar to her blouse, but much darker. "Hey. You're the newcomer, aren't you? Nice to meet you, my name is Hanon," she said jovially, waving her hand, Y/N remained impassive, too exhausted and bitter to be in the same mood as her.

"Y/N..." she mumbled back, shutting herself up. The woman was not impressed by that closed attitude; on the contrary, she found herself smiling more. That girl reminded her of herself at first. Almost no one wanted to end up trapped at the Dark Moon, but getting used to it wasn't so bad. They had food and beautiful clothes, as well as a roof over their heads. "Well, hello Y/N! Welcome to the Dark Moon, I was asked to show you around a bit," Hanon said cheerfully, Y/N instantly glowered at her. She didn't want to take the prostitute prison tour, she wanted to go back to the horrid old Motel with her sister, better poor than divided and slutty. "I don't care for that, thank you," she replied through gritted teeth. If possible Hanon's smile grew bigger, a strange light shone in her eyes. "Oh, believe me ... it's in your best interests to listen to me, Seokjin here is the boss and his word is law, if you don't do as he says you'll end up bathing in the icy waters of the Han River, with no chance of rising" from the satisfied voice Y/N guessed that it had already happened and that Hanon was probably someone quite important among the girls, he believed she had power over all of them, that's why she smiled like that. Without uttering another word, Y/N got out of bed, found some bedroom shoes placed neatly on the polished wooden floor, and putting them on followed the other woman.

Hanon showed her several rooms, numbered and with a key inside each shiny, well-oiled lock; almost all the rooms were the same, except for a few cases of far more luxurious suites suitable for clients quite important to the boss of the "shack." Hanon explained to her that the one where she was a few moments earlier was her personal room, no one had the right to enter there, and that every client had one of those other rooms rented for a set amount of time that varied from the fee paid for each type of service requested. Y/N felt disgust and nausea with each piece of information she learned, the customer paid and they automatically had to obey him. Hanon finally showed her their relaxation room; it was a large greenhouse where one could play freely and grow flowers and plants of all kinds. That was perhaps the only area Y/N would appreciate, she told herself. "From this corridor instead you get to the kitchens and the dining room, instead to ask for any kind of information you can ask me, if I will not be available go ahead to Namjoon's office, I will show you where it is" at that name the young woman felt sick. She remembered the silver-haired man, she had no idea he personally worked at the Dark Moon. "Namjoon?" she swallowed, Hanon stared at her for a moment confused by her sudden pallor, then understood. "So this time it was his turn, I guess it went well for you then, he is very kind to girls and-"

"Namjoon kidnapped my sister," she said harshly, "He was not kind to do such a thing, much less his friend with piercings all over his face, who was simply an animal with me," she growled. Hanon winced, he could tell she was talking about Jimin from the description-he was the only one of the men in Seokjin who had piercings all over his face, not to mention his neck. Those seven were divided into distinct and separate personalities, and Hanon knew for sure that the worst were Jimin and Hoseok themselves. "All right, for any doubts ask me, then," then she remembered something important, "Oh, I almost forgot the most essential thing! In case you need help during a session with your client, on the bedside table next to the bed there is a white phone, it has a unique number and communicates with the bodyguards, if you will be in trouble don't hesitate for a moment to call" she explained seriously. A shiver ran down the young woman's spine, she had not yet thought of such a possibility, she believed that with clients of a certain caliber something dangerous could not happen, evidently she was mistaken. When she was escorted back to her room, Y/N stopped Hanon. "Um... Hanon?" "Yes?"

"Before you came, there was a girl in the room with me, she was very rude and I would like to know why, I'm new and didn't give any trouble...I wish I could at least live peacefully here, though I doubt it." Hanon weighed the words well, but decided to be honest. "I told you we have personal rooms, but not as much as they are..." Y/N widened her eyes, "Your room belonged to Ester, the girl you met." "What... Why did you give me her room?" she asked wordlessly, Hanon shrugged her shoulders. "Well, only five other girls have the room like yours, these girls are selected by Seokjin's most trusted men because they are their favorites, and you are now one of them, indeed, of us." If possible, Y/N found herself more confused than before-what was Hanon getting at? The latter sighed, "Ester was Jimin's favorite, but I don't know how...now you're the one who will share a bed with him if he decides to stay here from time to time, when he arrived he didn't think twice about sending her away to give way to you, I think you intrigued him and quite a bit too." Y/N found herself staggering back, everything simply had to be an absurd and horrible joke, should she have shared a bed with such a beast? The disgust did not leave her for a moment longer.

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eleni-cherie · 7 months

Text

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - epilogue

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

3 months later

somewhere in the mountains of Taiwan

Soyeon dragged out a breath, the pencil in her right hand coming flat onto the notebook on her knees. Her mind felt heavy and she slowly sank her head until it touched the pages. And she remained like this for seconds until stirring up and sitting straight again. Allowing her brown irises wandering over the scenary in front of her.

Everything green as far as the eye could reach. A mellow breeze brushing by, clouds moving slowly on the lightblue sky.

It was peaceful, it was calming.

Maybe too peaceful and too calming.

Picking up the earphones that had fallen from her ears previously, she put them back in. The same melody still playing on repeat.

She was motivated to write, however, she simply didn't feel inspired. That was the issue.

Her gaze fell back down on her half-written lyrics.

'sunny

exceptionally pleasant morning

sunny

even if I hum lightly

in the scorching sun

that dirty feeling flies away'

Why did she struggle so much coming up with a chorus and second verse?

Of course, deep down she knew the answer and simply didn't want to admit it to herself. Admit that the story wasn't completely finished yet. That one puzzle piece was still missing, one end being still open. She just didn't know if it'd ever be possible to complete the puzzle, to finish this story completely.

Frustrated, she shut the notebook with the pencil still inside and pulled the earphones out. There was no use to try. For today, she was done.

Stuffing everything back into her backpack, she decided to look for some company. It'd been an hour, that was enough me-time she decided and hopped the stony steps down from the porch to the garden. Finding her object of interest not too far away, secluded from any possible disruptive elements - even if there were hardly any in the middle of a temple in the mountains.

Folding her lips, she suddenly felt lighthearted and in the mood to tease him a little. So she took off her shoes, holding them in her hands as she barefootedly neared him with quiet steps. Trying her best not to make any sound on the grass.

Only a few steps seperated her from him when she paused, heaving her leg slowly. Her tongue sticking out mischieviously between her lips like always when being focused. Ready to poke him with her foot when his chuckle made her pause mid-air.

"You didn't actually think I haven't heard you from the moment you stood up from the porch, did you?"

Soyeon puffed her cheeks, huffing offendedly. "As if." Yoongi only laughed more when seeing her stepping in front of him with crossed arms and a sulky expression, making her even more adorable.

"Did you get bored and wanted to scare me?" he grinned smugly and stood up. And she earned a poke on her still puffy cheeks. "You finished the lyrics?" he asked then, tilting his head inquiringly. Only getting a disappointed sigh as response. And he nodded, understanding.

"It's okay, you tried your best," he said, giving her an encouraging smile then which made her only sulkier. Feeling somewhat embarrassed about him having to cheer her up over trivial things like this.

They turned around then, making their way back when Yoongi peeked at her. Sighing then. "It's that list of symbols, right? You can't get over it."

Perhaps she shouldn't be so astonished about his perfect deduction as it was probably more than obvious. Ever since she had told him about it, he'd offered his help but she refused, believing it'd be pointless. But deep down, he knew, she couldn't let go of the curiosity.

Soyeon looked away, feeling only more embarrassed about having been so easily to figure out, like an open book. "Maybe.." was the only thing she was willing to admit in that moment.

»»»

The third manga volume was spread between her fingers when she eventually got tired of reading. She hadn't noticed how much time had passed already.

The scenery outside was only a blur. The mood depending on how much sunlight the clouds left through. Currently, they were hanging dark and low, creating a gloomy atmosphere contrasting to the deep green of the fields and forests.

For a moment she paused, simply staring out of the train. The view of the afternoon giving her some kind of inspiration, a tingly feeling spreading in her fingers.

It was usually random things like this, even watching animation films could sparkle her inspiration. So she quickly got her earphones out along with her writing tools.

Tapping her pen against the notebook which was balanced on her folded thighs. Chin resting on the palm of her hand as she pensively observed the grey cloud-blanket. Trying to fill in the empty spaces in the melody that was on repeat by creating somewhat poetic sounding sentences out of nothing.

She peeked at Yoongi then who had somehow managed to fall asleep next to her almost as soon as the train had departed. She internally scoffed, but couldn't help observing his sleeping self with a soft expression. His chest raising and falling under his folded arms, while his head was leaning against the seat. Dark streaks slightly covering his forehead and eyes.

She still couldn't believe he had convinced her in giving it a try. Frankly, it might not have been that hard after all, but she liked to pretend it was.

When she took a closer look of him, she could notice him having similar dark circles under his eyes as her. And she wondered if it was her fault, having unintentionally compelled him into staying up late with her, contemplating which decision to make. Her lips curled into a smile when reminiscing their conversation the previous night. He hadn't really pushed her or tried arguing, his words had been rather simple. Yet effective. And his voice was still stuck in her mind.

"My honest opinion? Do it or don't - you might regret both anyway. But if you don't, you'll have to live with the 'what if' and I think that's worse."

A string of words suddenly crossed her mind and she averted her eyes from him, redirecting her gaze onto the landscape.

'how was your sky today

how was your day today

how was your weather?

oh, my season?

every summer the same

good weather, bad weather

come and go'

She scribbled the words down when a yawn excaped her lips. She envied him. Despite her also still being tired, she wasn't able to fall asleep as easily, especially not in a cramped train.

And yet, her eyes did close eventually and she almost dozed off. Her head sliding onto his shoulder and resting there for awhile until one of her earphones dropped, startling her a little. Her eyes opened and she plugged it back into her ear, straightening herself and focusing back on the melody. Her eyes returning outside. Letting her mind wander.

'cloudy

dark clouds

have lost their taste

manic-depressed sky

you're dyeing even me'

She propped her chin on her fist when noticing small droplets hitting the glass. The pen tapped along the rhythm when she glanced at Yoongi again, pausing.

'in the rushing clouds

that clear feeling flies away

don't come, don't come anymore

summer, don't cry now

it's time to pass

how was your sky today?

how's your weather?

rainy

it's a rainy night'

She noted everything down, being so absorbed in her writing that she hadn't noticed Yoongi stirring up at her movement. Stretching next to her.

"What time is it?" he yawned, not getting any answer as the music in her ears was blasting too loud.

Confused, he blinked an eye open, realising she didn't hear him. And he got curious, now fully awake he leaned over to see what she was doing. His eyes widening when seeing her hand gliding over the paper.

He observed her writing like she was possessed by that pen, finding the way how immersed she was quite endearing. And he didn't want to disturb her flow, being happy her inspiration had returned in the end, so he sat back again. Waiting until she eventually put the pen down, exhaling contently.

She took a proud look at the once blank pages in front of her then. It was quite a lot. She had verses, the bridge and chorus. Not bad, she smiled to herself and was about to go back when the music was cut off in one of her ears. Startled, she looked aside, seeing Yoongi holding the earphone to his own ear and taking a listen.

He hummed then. "Didn't know you also work on weekends," he smirked and gave it back to her, seeing her pausing the music on her phone.

"I don't, but the weather fits the song's mood so I got some inspiration.."

"Huh, is that so.." His eyes instantly went outside, seeing the low hanging clouds, then went back to her notepad. "You know, you've never shown me any of your songs." He held her gaze while an implying smile spread on his lips, "You said you would."

Her lips folded, remembering their conversation months ago. "I did say that.."

She hadn't done it on purpose, avoiding showing him any of her work all those months. The opportunity simply never occured. Usually she was all by herself when writing lyrics, to concentrate better. So naturally, he didn't really saw her doing it and she didn't happen talking about it besides complainging whenever she got stuck.

She handed him the earphone back with a nervous feeling. "I don't know if you're gonna like them though.." she mumbled, searching up songs she had worked on.

He cocked a brow at her, mockingly. "Since when are you so self-conscious?"

Ignoring his teasing, she pressed play. Watching his eyes widening while the song progressed. "You wrote that?"

"The chorus and second verse only. Not the whole thing."

The irrational nervousness that rose in her didn't get any better with his unreadably stoic expression while listening through them all. She knew the songs were good, otherwise they wouldn't have got picked. And yet, she was nervous about his opinion, knowing he wouldn't lie just to be polite or because she was his girlfriend. Maybe only sugarcoat it, not to be too harsh. However, much to her ego's delight, he didn't have to do either one.

"You've got a nice way with words," he nodded then, unable to hide the clear adoration lingering in his simple words.

And she smiled.

He might not be a man of many words, but the ones he chose to say were always the right ones.

»»»

Taipei, Taiwan

"I.. don't understand anything."

With a yet again sulky expression she lowered the piece of paper. Not being able making any sense of the symbols drawn by her grandfather ages ago. Her already lacking certainty about finding the mystery behind them only declining ever since they had stepped foot out of the train.

After finding it behind the photo frame, she had tried - -and failed to decipher whatever code this was supposed to be. Leading her to give up back then. So she didn't know why she'd thought this time by being at the location would be different.

She knew 'oro' meant 'gold' in italian, most likely hinting at all the loot her grandfather had gathered over the years of being a secret thief and which interpol had still been unable to locate till now. This, however, was her only clue. The rest of the symbols had remained unknown to her.

She knew that this unsolved mystery constantly invading her thoughts in the back of her mind would never let her go, unless she tried solving it, though.

And yet, right now, she regretted telling Yoongi about it and him convicing her of going there.

Who knew, maybe it was nothing after all. Just a silly little doodle made by an old man.

"Don't give up so quickly, we just arrived," Yoongi scolded her and looked around, "And you're sure this is the place that photo was taken at?"

She nodded, fiddling out a photo from her backpack and pointing at it. "Yeah, see. That's my grandpa and that - " She pointed at the Little South Gate behind them. "Is the exact same spot. He even wrote it on the back."

However, something else seemed to have caught his attention instead. Brown irises fixated on the photo she was holding in front of his eyes. He grabbed it then with a scowl. "Who's this guy next to your grandfather again?"

She shrugged. "No clue. Some friend, I assume, whose name was 'M'. See." She turned the photo and he read the handwriting himself. "Why?"

"'Cause he seems oddly familiar. And I never forget a face," he mumbled then, trying his hardest to remember where he'd seen this man before or if he had at all. The photo was quite old.

She slid the photo back into her bag then, redirecting their focus onto the mysterious symbols.

"Let me see again," Yoongi said, peeking over her shoulder to the piece of paper she was holding.

This wasn't the first cypher he had come across. Over the years, he and the guys had seen and solved lots of them in order to find hidden treasures. This one, however, was quite different from the previous ones.

These symbols could mean anything or nothing at all.

And his eyes narrowed while trying making sense of them. "What's this?"

Soyeon squinted her eyes at the spot he was pointing at next to the 'W' and the arrow. Indeed, she hadn't paid attention to it before as it had almost completely faded away compared to the rest, but there was also a moon symbol.

"A crescent? Now I'm even more confused.." she mumbled under her breath. Losing any hope she had to ever find her grandfather's haul.

"Let's not over-complicate things," Yoongi said then with a surprising enthusiasm in his voice. He seemed to have caught onto something, she could see it in his little grin. Glancing at his watch then, he saw it was almost 6pm. The sun would set soon. "'Moon' might indicate night. And the 'W' with the arrow perhaps the cardinal point, West. So whatever these symbols are, we can only see them at night when going west from the Little South Gate. What do you think?"

Her brows rose in awe, his interpretation making sense. At least they had another possible clue now. "But.." she slowly began then, the excitement leaving her eyes, "Grandpa wrote that 'map' - or whatever this is - years ago. Who knows if these symbols still exist nowadays. "

He only hummed. "Suck it and see," he shrugged and began walking down the western located street. The raven-haired girl observed him dumbfounded before quickly trotting behind him. Following him with a curious glare as the sky darkened above them.

"So something you can only see at night," she thought out loud then, her eyes going back and forth from one side of buildings to another. "What could that be?"

A square. A rectangle with a semicircle on top. A triangle. An umbrella. A star. A keyhole.

She abrubtly stopped then. Her eyes widening. "Isn't that.. a rectangle with a semicircle on top?"

Yoongi paused in his tracks to look over his shoulder. His eyes then following her gaze, catching indeed a big blue neon-light on the top of a department store shaped like the second symbol.

"And there, a square!" she exclaimed excitedly. Pointing at red neon-sign on the opposite side of the street. "You think he meant neon-signs?"

"Could be," he smiled at her beaming face. And they continued walking down the street when Yoongi caught something that could be the third symbol. "You see the lights over there?"

She nodded vigorously at the illuminated triangle-sign of a building. Taking a look at the cryptic map then. "So we might've found the first three."

"What was the next one?"

"An umbrella."

An umbrella-shaped sign might be harder to find, if something like that even existed.

They continued looking around in the crisp evening, unable to find any neon-lights in that form, though, which was expected. A bright cloud icon on a display catching Yoongi's interest then. It was for weather forecast, informing tomorrow's weather would be cloudy again. And he smirked, beginning to understand.

"I can't find any," Soyeon stated with disappointment when he nudged her side, motioning with his chin to the display among the numerous billboards at the crossroads in front of them.

"I think I found our umbrella."

Her brows furrowed puzzled. Not being able seeing what he meant until it finally clicked and her expression returned to an excited one. "I see.. when this was drawn the weather forecast was predicting rain."

He nodded. "Now the star is missing."

Soyeon immediatelly perked up at this. A star, right! She had seen a star somewhere near by.

She started running, taking him aback. Only stopping at the end of the block, where the tall buildings weren't hiding the ferris wheel in the distance anymore. "He surely meant the giant star-shaped lights on this!" She faced him with a huge smile and he reciprocated.

"You're right, no way it's not this."

"That means only the last symbol is left."

The keyhole.

"Maybe it's not a light, though," Soyeon mused, "Maybe it just stands for the lock where the loot is at."

Shaking his head, he disagreed. "I don't think so." He grabbed her hand then, taking a few steps back until the vertical neon-framed billboard on one of the buildings was perfectly alligning with a circle of lightbulbs on the taller building behind it. Creating a keywhole-shape.

"You think that's.." She looked up at him questioningly, seeing him giving her an innocent look.

"Who knows.." Taking a glance behind then, he noticed they were standing right in front of an entrance. "But if I'm correct, then.. it's probably inside this building."

Her eyes grew, looking at the dark building that was quietly soaring to the sky. She rummaged the key out of her pocket then and inspected it closely. There was a small letter engraved on one side. B.

"B. Basement?"

"Possible. The only way to find out is to get in."

"Get in? But it seems there's nobo- oh. Oh!" She looked at him with big eyes, making him chuckle.

"You guessed right. We'll just break in."

"Or wait till tomorrow?"

He arched a brow at her. "You actually wanna wait till tomorrow? And have people ask questions?"

Watching her contemplating it, mouth moving from one side to another she eventually gave in with a groan. "Ugh, fine. But only if you're sure we won't get caught."

He scoffed. "You offend my abilities as a thief."

"Isn't Jimin the thief and you and Taehyung rather the assistants?" she grinned teasingly to which he only shrugged casually. "If that's the case you don't need me here then." And he turned around on his heels, ready to leave when she grabbed his arm, pulling him back with an eyeroll.

They decided to go look for the back entrance, it being less risky to enter from there. He took his phone out to switch on the flashlight as picking a lock in complete darkness went beyond his abilities, when seeing his screen being filled with notifications of multiple missed calls and texts from Jimin. All in caps. He turned his screen to her then so she'd read them as well.

chim (6:45pm): GUYS

chim (6:45pm): IDK WHERE YOU ARE BUT COME ASAP

chim (6:45pm): PLS?

chim (6:46pm): THE BABY IS COMING

chim (6:47pm): IM GONNA BE A DAD!!!!

Their eyes grew, exchanging glances.

"Oh my - When's the next train leaving? We must hurry!" Soyeon asked panicked, causing Yoongi to give her an astonished look. "But what about your grandfa-"

"It was hidden for decades, a few days or weeks more won't matter," she quickly dismissed his worry, waving him off. "Come, let's go already!"

And he smiled, nodding.

And so they went back to the central station. Catching the last train back to Tainan.

THE END

»»»

thank you all for reading this story! it was fun writing it, so hope you also had fun reading it!

-lyrics taken from soyeon's solo song "weather"! idk i really like this song and it fit hah

-a prequel oneshot (?) for tae x cas might follow, as well as drabbles to other characters. keep an eye on my blog/masterlist not to miss anything!

- check out my other bts stories, too: here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback! ♡

It motivates me to keep writing :)

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jwirecs · 6 months

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RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF OCTOBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of october! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Photograph || @i-am-baechu💕💔✅

↳ Jimin hated Y/N. Y/N didn’t know why. It all changed with a photograph.

Beside You || @nochukoo97🔞💕✅

↳ you miss your boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time, so who could blame you if you couldn’t resist him once you saw him?

Claimed || @bethschamberoftales🔞💕💔✅

↳ He promised that he is going to fuck you hard so you won't be able to walk after that. You took that lightly but the thing is, Jungkook never breaks his promises.

Finish Line || @bonny-kookoo🔞💕🔄

↳ He's one of the best, no race too tough to handle, every track a new challenge he takes on- especially when it's you who's waiting at the finish line for him.

Loverboy || @kookslastbutton🔞💕💔✅

↳ After a startling conversation with your coworkers, you start feeling insecure about your sexual prowess. You don't initiate as much, you haven't worn lingerie yet, and you're still timid about doing much seducing with your body–are you giving your boyfriend boring sex? Taehyung reassures you that you are perfect and have nothing to worry about.

Never Goodbye || @smutlvrrr🔞💕✅💯💯💯

↳ It’s never goodbye, I’ll always see you again…

Support System || @bangtanfanfiction🔞💕✅

↳ You’re the support system Hoseok needs in times of uncertainty without his members. And you make sure he knows it.

Masked Miracles || @remedyx🔞💕💔🔄

↳ It wasn't supposed to happen this way. A quick in and out. Infiltrate and bring down a hybrid trafficking ring. Saving lives while we're at it. But things hardly ever go to plan. And being locked in with seven hybrids that meant more to me than victims forced into a life they didn't deserve was definitely not according to the plan.

Safe And Sound || @bearr02🔞💕💔🔄

↳ You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

A Thief's End || @eleni-cherie🔞💕💔✅

↳ he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

Best Served Cold || @anotherbtswriter🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ Yoongi is at the bottom of the organization just trying to stay alive when the story starts.

City Of Lights || @sunnebeam🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (theres no summary, but i will put the warnings instead! - warnings: gangster squad au, smut (18+), cheating, mafia shit, minor character death, murder, mentions of blood)

Cruel Intentions || @explicit-tae🔞💕💔✅

↳ You adored your eldest brother - you truly did. Before his addiction got the best of him, he was amazing at caring for you and your other siblings. Now, however, it was your turn to care for him without the help of your siblings who long abandoned him, advising you to do the same. Once your brother manages to get himself imprisoned, you realize just how much trouble he got himself into. Once your family is threatened, you offer to pay off the debts your brother owes with the one thing any powerful man couldn't resist - your virginity.

Darkest Little Paradise || @sunnebeam🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (theres no summary, but i will put the warnings: mafia au, smut (18+), sex work, mentions of past accident, amnesia / memory loss, more warnings to be added upon series completion)

My Beauty, My Blood || @7cypher🔞💕💔✅

↳ With Namjoon out of the picture, Jeongguk has to step up and be the sole successor to the organization laid out before him. However, guilt doesn’t escape him very easily, and neither does your persistence.

Vixen || @star-my🔞💕💔✅

↳ The door to the opulent room swung open soundlessly, allowing the tall, muscular man to enter unnoticed. He cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the young woman seated at the vanity.

After Hours || @archivedkookie🔞💕💔🔄💯💯

↳ staying after hours with Yoongi for months proves to be a mistake when your heart falls for him.

Champagne Confetti || @busanboykoo🔞💕✅💯

↳ “you won't regret me, champagne confetti” or maybe just jungkook wants you to tell him what you want him to do to you.

Flower Girl || @nochukoo97💕✅

↳ you’re in charge of mentoring jungkook, a convict who’s currently doing community service. as time goes by, you grow closer and closer to the man, finding out more about him and his past. jungkook makes you crazy with his small gestures, he makes your cheeks turn the same shade as carnations, he makes you dizzy. most of all, he makes you his flower girl

Mami || @kithtaehyung🔞✅

↳ you somehow have a conversation with yoongi, and you tell your roommate about a date date.

Nothing New || @myg-butterfly💕💔✅

↳ You get hurt and have to find a replacement. You just didn't think that replacement extended to your relationship with the BTS members. Will they still want you when you're nothing new?

Oh, Angel! || @yoongiofmine🔞💕✅

↳ Ever since he met you, Hoseok just couldn’t resist you. Even though you were off limits -many years younger than him and an intern on his sister’s company-, he just had to make you his. You were the perfect baby for him, docile and pliant. What happens when you decide to be a little brat instead?

Oh, Darling! || @yoongiofmine🔞💕💔✅

↳ Starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you've held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought?

Peek-A-Boo! || @namfinessed💕💔✅

↳ at a camp that you hated, you find yourself falling for a man that tries to sneak into your tent.

Punching Bag? || @bonobonoyaatheart💕💔✅

↳ You care and worry for Jungkook? In return, you feel like his emotional punching bag, despite of his intentions being different.

Set Me Free || @casuallyimagining💕💔✅

↳ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?

Sun Chasers & Moon Watchers || @foredelweiss💕💔✅

↳ after constantly transferring from school to school every couple of months, you've long accepted the impermanence of many aspects of your life. you never expected to want the world to allow you to spend a little more time with seven individuals. your days with them were one of the most beautiful moments in life.

The Five-Year Plan || @jknoah🔞💕💔🔄

↳ you've always had a very strict life plan. when you were twenty you sat down and made your five-year plan, you would get married, get your dream house, have your dream career and then at the end of those five years you'd have a kid. everything was going perfectly to plan, well until your husband came home with divorce papers. now you're somehow trying to stay on track, maybe you could convince your best friend to have a baby with you?

The Monster In The Dark || @themochiverse🔞💔✅💯

↳ Sleep paralysis is a common concern for everyone, but once your episodes start to become more frequent, you meet a horrid monster. A horrid monster who has only come for you to join him in his world. You can't run, you can't hide, but you can only watch whatever the hell is going to happen to you right now.

Ungodly Hours || @explicit-tae🔞💕✅💯

↳ That time you - a broke college student - were willing to do just about anything for a hulu account after your brother kicks you off of his - (and Jungkook would do anything to have you).

Venom || @nochukoo97🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ after a nasty breakup with your ex, who was a boxer, the person who introduced you to the sport, you decided to make life easier for yourself and switch clubs. little did you know that your club leader, also known as ‘venom’ in the ring, would eventually spark your interest. no matter how much jungkook interests you, you can’t bear to risk another failed relationship, you’re still hurt and traumatised from the inside. but will jungkook manage to crawl his way into your heart?

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts fic recs #bts recs #bts established relationship au #bts enemies to lovers au #bts mafia au #bts hybrid au #bts soulmates au

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blossomk00 · 1 year

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Taekook Ao3 rec:

✨ Two Kinds of Ecstasy by lawlesswritings

A cool idea and the spin-off of the gang boss stories. Also, don’t forget to check the tags before reading it.

Status: complete

Word count: 52335 (19 chapters)

Ao3 link is HERE

#gangster au #mob boss #taekook #taekook ao3 #taekook recs #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #ao3 recs #ao3 link #bts fic #vkook #vkook ao3 #vkook fic #vkook fanfiction #jungkook #taehyung

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sunnebeam · 10 months

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DISCLAIMERS:

stand-ins — bts and the other people mentioned in my works are merely face and/or name stand-ins. in no way am i claiming that the actions done by the characters in my stories depict the actual lives of these real life public figures.

fiction — the events in my works are fictional. some may be loosely inspired by real life events, some may be inspired by other media, and some may just be purely coincidental. but again, they are all fictional and are happening just inside my head.

content — my works will dabble into mature, explicit, and/or dark themes. readers who are uncomfortable with potential triggering content are discouraged from reading. minors should also take their reading experience elsewhere and not interact where inappropriate.

reader-insert — all of my works are reader-inserts and the main characters are written as female, but i write in second person (for a more gender-neutral approach) and i do my best to not focus too much on physical traits. if physical descriptions do end up in the final drafts (e.g. hair length, skin tone, eye color), please know that these are unintentional and are not meant to exclude anyone!

feedback — since this is a side blog, i can't reply back under posts. i appreciate feedback in every form, but asks are generally better and more preferred!

copyright — my works are completely my own. in no way should these should be copied, stolen, and/or plagiarized. as of now, i only post on tumblr so if you see my works on other sites (ao3, wattpad, etc.), please tell me because those are most likely plagiarized.

KIM NAMJOON

before, after, forever.

drabble — smut (18+), knight au, mulan au

KIM SEOKJIN

one more kiss.

drabble — smut (18+), cursed au

MIN YOONGI

darkest little paradise.

drabble series — smut (18+), mafia au, sex work

perks of being a househusband.

drabble series — the way of the househusband au

— the (mis)adventures of retired gangster min yoongi as he leaves behind the life of the mafia and navigates the way of the househusband.

JUNG HOSEOK

good for a weekend.

drabble — smut (18+), blank space au, chaebol au

PARK JIMIN

stolen kisses, pretty lies.

drabble — smut (18+), revenge au

KIM TAEHYUNG

fall from grace.

drabble — smut (18+), royalty au

JEON JUNGKOOK

city of lights.

drabble series — smut (18+), gangster squad au

twin flame bruise.

series — jeon twins au, college au, love triangle

— the jeon twins have become nothing more than two strikingly similar looking guys who share a mere home address and a last name. but in their senior year of college, the estranged twins may have found one more thing they share in common – you.

FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

#cat.navi

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lovelyspring7 · 2 years

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Moonstruck | Yandere KNJ x Reader

Preview: Namjoon had this all planned out. Your father was a smart man, but unfortunately, even smart people make stupid decisions. He had abandoned you like a coward, saving his ass like the selfish man he was, thinking that leaving you would be the safest option for the both of you.

If you truly didn’t know where your father was, then maybe he should know where you were. After all, it would be rude to not attend his daughter’s and future son-in-law’s wedding.

Genre: Yandere, Mafia au

Word count: 7,7k

Pairing: Yandere Mafia Boss Namjoon x Florist/daughter of a hitman reader, gangster Seventeen Jun.

Warnings: yandere, forced marriage, stalking, kidnapping, obsession, drugging, blackmail, isolation, murder, use of taser, non consensual touching, non consensual kissing, physicalviolence, abuse of power, manipulation, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, cursing, use of knife but not on people, blood, guns, absent mother, divorced parents, former alcoholic father.

Disclaimer: This type of content is not suitable for all audiences and I do not condone any of the presented behaviours. This is purely for entertainment and fictional purposes and I don’t think any BTS member would act like this.

Authors note: My mind is BLOWN, I did NOT just write something like this did I? Oh well, I hope you guys enjoy the one-shot. Feedback is very much appreciated!💜

Soon. Soon enough will all of this be over.

Growing up and seeing your father avoid and deal with loan sharks since you could remember. Haven’t always been the easiest to handle.

You don’t blame your father because after your mother left your dad stopped working, the drinking got even worse, and for a while you had to live with your grandparents until your dad got his shit together.

After a year he claimed he had gotten everything sorted out, but no one believed him until one day he showed up at your grandparent's house with a bunch of gifts.

The same day, he treated you to a nice day at the carnival. He brought you all the tasty sweets, went on all the rides with you, and won you a plushy that became your childhood favorite toy.

For a moment, you forget all the pain from seeing your father and mother fighting for years, seeing mysterious cuts and bruises on his body, and seeing your dad get drunk to the point where he would pass out.

It had been a while since you felt happy and hearing your father laugh and smile, it made you feel like everything was fine now.

That was until you found out how fast your fairytale was coming to an end.

“Sweetie, I'm talking to you, don't walk away!” Your father yelled from the kitchen.

“What dad?! You lied! You said you’d stop borrowing money from them.” You explained, frustrated by the whole situation.

“I know, I know I’m sorry I just-“

“Just what? Put yourself in danger once more? Dad, I can't go through this again!” You shouted, heartbroken that he would do something like that, knowing the harmful consequences.

“I’ll give the money back to them I promise, I’ll make it right.” Your father promised, stepping closer to you.

“How can I believe you?” You asked, finding it hard to believe him this time.

He took a glance at the bag filled with cash on the kitchen table.

“I’ll meet them up tomorrow and sort things out.”

“Promise me.” You said, raising both your eyebrows at him.

“I promise.” He promised, looking into your eyes.

“Come here sweetheart,” He said, pulling you into a hug.

You hesitate before wrapping your arms around him, letting him hug you. He breathed out while he kissed the top of your head.

“I promise I’ll make it right, now you go to bed, you’ve had a long shift.” He said as he quickly let go of you.

“And hey, I love you.” He said, smiling at you.

You gave him a soft smile, saying I love you back before taking a last glance at him while walking up the stairs to your room, hoping this time it would be different.

Your father started to get good at hiding, running away, and protecting himself from those who wanted to harm him. He managed to stop coming home all roughed up for a while.

He knew what he got himself into, the moment he took out his first loan, but what he didn’t know was the danger he had put you through as well.

The next morning you wake up still very tired, you look for your father but can’t seem to find him, assuming he’s out.

Running on 4 hours of sleep, you hurried to your full-time job at the flower shop.

You liked working there, mostly all your life it has been hectic and stressful, not a moment of peace and harmony, and feeling like you have no control over your life.

Taking care of flowers in the most gentle manner possible, carefully selecting the most beautiful ones one could imagine and making them into bouquets, happy to know that it would make someone’s day better made you feel content and in control of something for once.

“There you go.” You said to a customer, giving them the bouquet of the white peonies. “Thank you for shopping with us, hope your fiancée loves the flowers.”

“Thank you, she’ll surely love them, they are her favorite.” He said, smiling as he took the bouquet and stared at them lovingly for a few seconds before wishing you a good evening.

Tired from standing up all day, you stretch and as you let out the yawn you’ve been holding onto, ready to close the shop and go back home.

Before you could flip the sign that said closed, you see a woman approaching the shop, “I’ll be quick I promise.” She spoke loudly enough for you to hear from the other side of the glass door.

With that, you opened the door for her, “Thank you so much.” She said walking into the shop, “I need a bouquet for my mother, she, unfortunately, doesn’t have many days left.” She explained, looking down when she said the last part.

Feeling bad, and happy that you let her in, “I’m sorry to hear that, do you know what kind of flowers she likes?” You asked, walking toward the flowers you had left.

“I think roses?” She said, trying to remember. “Yeah for sure roses.”

“I have a few left in the storage room, I’ll go get some.” You said, taking the keys from the counter, you unlock the door looking for roses. You find some left, but you weren’t sure if she wanted a specific type, thinking you should’ve asked her that first before you came down here.

You turn around and see her standing there. “I’m sorry but no customers are allowed to be back here.” You said, cautiously watching her walk closer to you as you took a step back.

“Oh, I’m not a customer.” She said as she quickly pushed you down hard, making you fall onto the ground, along with shattering a few vases with flowers in them.

You quickly come to your senses as you try to hurry back up, but she takes a fist of your hair in her palm as she harshly pulls your head back and inserts something sharp into your neck.

“Let go!” you yell and to your surprise, she does.

You try to stand up but fall back down, laying down on your side as you couldn’t move and got weaker by the second. “I got her.” As soon as she said that, you could vaguely see two other men running into the room until your vision went fully black.

———

You try to squint your eyes open but quickly shut them when you feel a stinging pain in your throat, you hiss and try to reach for your neck so that you could rub the pain away.

Pulling, you can't seem to bulge your hand free, pulling even harder you now fully open your eyes, and you panic when you can’t seem to move from your spot. It doesn’t take a genius to realize you’ve been tied up on a chair, with both of your hands tied behind your back.

“What the fuck?” You whispered in a slightly raspy voice from the lack of water, you tried looking around for something you could use to set free until you remembered you had a pocket knife in your back pocket for when you used to trim the stems of the flowers. Utterly delighted that you had put it there, you try to reach your back pocket to pull it out but quickly stop when you hear voices coming from upstairs.

“Do you think she knows where her father is?”

Of course, this was about your father, damn it.

The voices got louder as they tried to unlock the door.

“I don’t know, but she’s our best luck for finding him.”

“We better, you know how the boss is.”

With that, a man entered the room. “Good morning sleepy head. I’m Jun!” He said cheerfully, walking down the stairs.

“How long have I been sleeping for?” You asked, scared that you might've been asleep for days.

“That's at least one of your worries.” He said, smiling.

“Your father, where is he?” He asked as he got all serious.

“I don’t know.” You said annoyed, he walked closer as he harshly grabbed your face “Don’t fucking lie to me.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“I’m not fucking lying.” You managed to say, trying to seem tough but the truth is you were one moment away from having a panic attack and crying your eyes out.

He roughly let go of your face, “Your father is a traitor, do you know what happens to lowlife scum like him? Hm?” He asked, smirking before speaking up again.

“They end up six feet under.”

Your heart began racing, you had no idea what he was talking about but whatever it was, it was something horrible. You didn’t get it, all your father did was borrow some money. Who could he have possibly betrayed?

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about?” You said truthfully.

“Your father was supposed to kill someone that caused us enough trouble, at the last second he spared his life and let him go. This almost caused us trouble.” He said, taking something out from his front pocket.

Your father attempted to murder someone? This can’t be right, you knew him, he wouldn’t do something so disgusting as taking another human life.

“Of course, we took him out, and now we need to take care of your daddy as well.”

“And you think I’ll tell you where he is?” You asked, thinking how stupid they must be for you to snitch on your father.

“For your best, I sure hope you do.” He said, holding up a taser as he walked closer to you.

“No, wait! Please!” You pleaded, trying to squirm away but it was no use, he aimed for your stomach.

You yelled from the cruel stinging pain, shaking as you lost control of your body. “What was that dear? Are you ready to talk?” He asked, not receiving an answer from you, he tried to tase you again but the ringing from his phone stopped him.

He answered the phone while looking at you, smirking. “Yes, boss? I understand, it won't happen again.” He said, as he hung up, looking embarrassed and frankly a bit shaken up.

“You’re lucky, I’m not allowed to touch you anymore. Only watch over you.” He said, putting the taser back into his pocket while standing against the wall, watching over you like a hawk.

You let a shaken sign out as you pulled your head back, relieved that you didn’t have to be tased again.

You carefully try to reach for the knife in your back pocket but can’t seem to have the strength to do so, your hands couldn’t stop shaking and your grip was weak. You had to be smart, they weren’t gonna let you go that easily and even if you did tell them where your father is, they would still kill you, there’s no doubt about that.

You tried connecting the dots, your father must have been a hitman. It makes sense, you didn’t want to believe it, but how he made money so quickly, how all of it was always in cash, and all those nights he used to come home late.

It made sense.

Your mother must’ve thought he was cheating on her if she’d only known it was much worse than that.

Getting a headache from all the shit that has been going on, taking a nap, and trying to regain your energy to recover faster would be the best thing for now. With that, you close your eyes and let sleep take over you.

———

“So?” Namjoon asked on the phone, getting out of his car.

“She’s sleeping, for now, boss, I don’t think she knows. She’ll be useless for us.”

“Don’t fucking underestimate me, you’re on thin ice Jun.” Namjoon threatened, ready to get rid of Jun at any moment now.

“My apologies, sir.” Jun quickly said.

“I’ll visit later today, keep a close eye on her, and don’t fuck up.” He said, hanging up the phone and pressing the button on the top level of the elevator.

Namjoon had this all planned out. Your father was a smart man, but unfortunately, even smart people make stupid decisions. He had left you like a coward, saving his ass like the selfish man he was, thinking that this would probably be the safest option for the both of you.

If you truly didn’t know where your father was, then maybe he should know where you were. After all, it would be rude to not attend his daughter’s and future son-in-law’s wedding.

———

You woke but you didn’t move a muscle, thankfully you felt much better than you did before. With your head down, you slightly open your eyes to see if the guard dog was there, you could see his shoes standing in the same spot you saw him last. Still acting like you’re asleep, you try to reach for the knife you had in your back pocket, you get a hold of it with your fingers as you slowly slip it out.

Still acting like you’re asleep, you magnate to cut free from the rope, catching the rope as it almost landed on the floor, making a sound. You grip the knife tightly in your hand and act as if you just woke up.

Yawning before speaking up, “hey bastard, this place got a bathroom?” You asked, looking around, jumping your right knee up and down.

“No,” he said in a monotone voice.

“What do you get out of this?” You asked in a curious tone.

“Hopefully the pleasure of killing you.” He coldly said.

“Go for it.” You said like it was nothing that your life could end at any minute now.

“Oh right, you can’t.” You smiled smugly. You could see he was getting annoyed by poking his tongue into his cheek, giving you a death glare.

You needed him to get closer to you.

“You need permission from your big, scawy boss don’t you?” You laughed loudly, mocking him.

He almost marched closer to you, bending down to your level while smiling maniacally as he took the taser out, but before he could tase you, you quickly kicked him hard in the face resulting in him falling on his back.

You quickly got up from the chair and searched for the keys to the door in his suit. Looking at him, you must’ve given that man a concussion judging by the amount of blood he had running down from his nose.

You finally found the keys, you took the taser and taser him a few times on the highest level possible just in case he woke up, and for him to have a taste of his own medicine.

You get up and walk to the basement door, still not feeling the strongest, you manage to unlock the door open and see if someone is nearby, thankfully no one was in sight.

You try to run down the stairs, looking for an exit, to your luck, you find a door leading to what seems to be a parking lot, you look at the building and it looks familiar, you finally remember where you’ve seen this place before.

In a magazine, it’s the famous luxury hotel in the country: Kim Hotel.

Was it a slump? Was the business shady? Maybe the hotel was a coverup for the bullshit that went down there.

You start panicking at the thought of being involved with such powerful people, you feel like you couldn’t breathe so you start to hyperventilate, feeling dizzy you don’t notice the man approaching you from behind. “Miss? Sweetheart, are you okay?” He said, looking at you up and down, making sure you weren’t physically hurt anywhere.

This was your chance, frantically you try to explain that you needed help “Help- help me I’ve been kid- kidnapped and-“

“It’s okay slow down, slow down tell me what happened?” He asked, looking at you while holding the sides of your arms, trying to understand you but not being able to.

You took a deep shaky breath before speaking up, “a woman, she kidnapped me and a man looked me up in the basement.” You cried, looking over your shoulder in paranoia.

“Kidnapped?” He asked, with knitted eyebrows.

“Yes! And-and this woman, she drugged me and he started to taser me.” You continue as your voice gets louder and shakier.

“Shh it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He said, trying to calm you down as he pulled you against his chest, hugging you while trying to calm you down by rubbing your back in circles in a comforting manner.

“I forgot my phone in my office, it’s not far. I’ll call the police from there.” He said, pulling away to look at you.

“Okay, but we need to hurry, they might find me.” You said, looking around once again.

“Come with me.” He said, taking your hand as he led you inside the hotel through the back door.

Trying to act as natural as possible and avoid attention. You try to avoid the workers, scared that they might recognize you and report you to their boss.

You get into the elevator and notice he’s pressing the top level. You finally reach the highest level, still holding your hand, he takes you into his office.

He was well off, he looked like it in his grey suit. He made you sit down on the couch in his office, bringing you some water to hydrate. You gladly took it as you thanked him and chugged the whole thing.

Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Sir, the police.” You reminded him.

“Oh, I didn’t bring you here to call the police baby.”

“You’re the boss aren’t you?” You asked, fearing for your life, hoping that you were wrong. But his dimpled smile was enough of an answer.

You grip the armchair, digging your fingers into the black leather couch, looking at the door you came in from before.

How could you be so stupid?

“Don’t, even, think, about it.” He slowly said, watching you from his desk.

“I don’t know where my father is.” You admitted.

“I know you don’t know,” he said, walking closer to you. He tucked your hair behind your ear, you started to tremble, trying to back up a little bit he quickly got a hold of your chin as a warning not to test him. He slightly tilted your chin, making you look up at him. “Do you think your father cares about you?”

What he asked caught you off guard. Not answering the question right away, “Yes, he cares about me a lot.” You said, glaring at him.

“Is that so?” He gently let go of your face and sat down on the couch on the opposite side of you.

“Then why hasn't he saved you yet? You’d think he’d be looking for you after three days, after all, he was the one that got you into this mess.”

3 days?! You had been kidnapped for 3 whole days! You hated admitting it, but he’s right. Surely your father had his reasons, maybe he’s plotting to save you right now?

Not knowing what to say, you look down as you try to stop your tears from falling. Trying to stay strong for the both of you.

“Let’s test how much your father cares about you, hm.” He said, leaning closer to you.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, scared by what the answer might be.

“Surely he’d quickly come and try to save you by offering himself, that is if he saw his baby girl getting married to the man he hates more than himself.”

“No, no I can’t do that! I refuse!” You stood up, attempting to run to the door but you fell on your knees.

Fuck, he drugged you. The familiar feeling was back, your vision getting blurry as the ringing in your ears began.

“Ah, perfect timing.” He said, referring to the drugs he has put in your water.

“Don’t worry, we’ll sort everything out once you wake up.” He explained, crouching down to carry your bridal style. Fitting, you thought.

“No” You managed to whisper while trying to push him away, but it was no use.

“Shh, it’s okay, just close your eyes and we’ll be there before you know it.” He tried to reassure you.

Not having the energy to fight it anymore, you close your eyes, the last thing you saw was his dimpled smile while he looked down at you in awe.

“I’m taking her to my house, prepare for the wedding. And take care of that imbecile Jun.” Namjoon said to one of his men, annoyed that no one seems to be competent these days.

“Yes sir.”

This was it, he finally had you exactly where he wanted.

———

You groan as you slowly wake up, feeling hot and sweaty. You remove the blanket from your body to feel the cool air touching your skin. Feeling a little better, you quickly sit on the bed and look around, not knowing where the hell you were.

You found yourself in a bedroom, laying in a king-sized bed surrounded by soft pillows and blankets. The room was huge, and most of the furniture was black and grey, with some gold details.

You try to remember what had happened, and the last thing you remember was talking to him about getting married…

You start to get stressed out so you get up from the bed, now noticing someone has changed your clothes into silk pink nightwear. You started to freak out, he dressed you and took your knife?!

You start looking for an exit, ready to get the hell out of here. You run towards the door and try to open it, but it won’t budge.

“Going somewhere?”

You freeze at the spot you were, slowly turning around to face him.

Where the fuck did he come from?

“Baby I asked you a question?” He said with knitted eyebrows, walking closer to you. You don’t dare to move, “Nowhere.” You said in a low voice.

“For your sake, I hope not.” He said, looking at you up and down, knowing you’re lying to him.

“Where am I?” You asked, looking out the window trying to figure out where you were, but it was no use because all you could see were trees and bushes.

“Your soon to be home.” He simply said, now standing right in front of you.

“As I said, I won’t do it.” You said, fed up at this point.

“Baby, I wasn’t asking.” He said, getting slowly frustrated by your refusal to comply with his sick, twisted request.

“I’m being generous enough by letting you know beforehand.” He said, trying to catch your gaze.

“I don’t even know you.”

“My name is Kim Namjoon, I’m 28 years old, and my favorite color is yellow.” He quickly said.

You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not, so you just stood there looking at him weirdly.

“How long?” You broke the silence, “How long until?”

“Hopefully, we’ll be married tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?! You thought, you slightly widened your eyes, not believing what he had just told you. That doesn’t give you enough time to plan an escape, you have to think of a plan, fast.

“Where’s my ring?” You asked, playing along to his twisted game.

He smiled, delighted that you asked him that question. “I thought we’d go on a walk, I know how much you like flowers.” He said, gesturing to you to hold his arm like two couples in love.

You weakly smiled at him as you grabbed his arm, he walked you out of his beautiful house. Too bad the owner of it is scum.

He opens the front door and you’re greeted by an almost magical looking view, it looks enchanting.

It was large and had all kinds of different flowers and plants, they all matched in similar colors, making it look neat and dreamy.

You walk closer and the fragrant floral scent gets stronger as the warm wind softly goes by while the sun shines brighter than ever, you almost forget he was next to you until he spoke up “Do you like it?”

“I love it.” You said truthfully, not being able to take your eyes off it. You walk through the garden only stopping to touch the soft, silk-like petals of a ranunculus.

You spot big yellow rose bushes and walk towards them, you slightly bend down and smell the lovely roses that had violet and almost lemony scents. The aroma calms you down, reminding you that everything’s gonna be okay, eventually.

“Why yellow?” You asked, turning around to face him, curious about what he’d say.

“I once heard that yellow roses represent delight, new beginnings, and happiness.” He said, looking at you as he had a pleased smile on his face.

The sun shined even brighter, it laid on top of his honey-like skin, he looked warm and welcoming. For a second there, he almost seemed innocent and pure.

Namjoon got a hold of your hand as he took something out of his pocket, you weren’t sure of what it was until he gently slid it on your ring finger.

Your heart started to beat fast again as this situation you were in got even more real, if he wasn’t some deranged psychopath, this would’ve been very romantic and lovely. But unfortunately for you, he was.

You quickly slip your hand out of his, and you start to get even more nervous. What if your father didn’t come? What will happen if he doesn’t? Will he get rid of you too?

All these thoughts started to race through your mind and your breathing got even quicker.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked, noticing the state you were in, holding your face as he scanned the issue, not knowing it’s him that’s causing you to panic.

Wanting to desperately get away from him, you try to pull yourself together for once. “Nothing.” You breathe out, looking at the flowers that give you comfort. “Nothing, I’m- I’m fine.” You reassured him, trying to control your breathing, avoiding his gaze and touch on your skin.

That was until he suddenly pulled you in and kissed your forehead, it seemed like he was checking your temperature because he stayed like that for a few seconds. He didn’t look like he believed you because he sent you to his bedroom and told you to get some rest, after all, you needed it for your big day tomorrow.

“Boss, he decided to reach out.” One of Namjoon’s men said, giving him the phone.

“Let her go!” Your father yelled at the end of the line.

“Or what?” Namjoon asked, amazed that he dared to speak in such a high insulting tone with him.

Like father, like the daughter he chuckled.

“This is between us, she has nothing to do with this.”

“Well now she does, I have you to thank for that don’t I? Father-in-law?” Namjoon teased.

Your father grew angrier by the second, ready to curse Namjoon out as he cringed at the last part.

“You put her in this situation, I’m just claiming what’s mine after all these years.” Namjoon simply explained.

“Namjoon you bastard!-“

With that, Namjoon hung up the phone. At this point, it didn’t matter if your father came to try and rescue you or not. He had his mind set already, you were his and nothing was stopping him from getting what he wants: you.

———

You sit in Namjoon’s room for what seems like hours, not being able to sleep. You look around for other possible ways to escape.

You could break the glass windows, but that would be too much of a risk. You sit on the bed, running your hand through your hair in frustration but soon get interrupted by a knock on the door.

The person enters the room, and you look up and see it’s the dog from the basement. He seemed more roughed up than you saw him last, he must’ve gotten a beating.

“Take this, Bosses orders.” He says, handing you some kind of pill and putting a tray with food on the bed.

The pill looked like a painkiller, but you weren’t taking your chances. You’ve been drugged two times already, enough is enough.

“I’m not taking that.” You quickly said.

“Please, just take it.” He said, looking at you scared of what Namjoon would do to him if he messes up once more.

You started to feel bad for him, so instead, you gave him the pill.

“You look like you need it more than me.” You said, giving him a slight smile.

He hesitatingly took the pill, looking at it for a second before swallowing it without any water.

Before he could leave, you just had to ask “Do you have any news about my father.” You asked, desperate to know anything at this point.

He stops for a moment, not sure if he should further interact with you.

He closes the door and walks closer to you. “I heard he called earlier, he’ll for sure be there tomorrow. And when he does, he’ll get killed. There’s no doubt about that.” He explained.

Relieved that your father was alive, “You said my father lied about killing someone he should have?”

He nodded before speaking, “But I think the issue is more than just that, usually boss stops when the person is dead.”

“I think he’s angry because your father betrayed, and humiliated him.” He clarified.

That somewhat makes sense, but why does he need to marry you? Maybe it was to piss your dad off?

You take a deep breath, ready to ask something that could either set you free, have you live in eternal misery, or not live at all.

“Can you please help me escape?” You whispered harshly, grabbing his arm and looking at him in desperation.

“I can’t, it’s too much of a risk.” He looked at you as his eyes widened by your sudden plea.

“You don’t have to do much, I just need a distraction.” You tried to persuade him.

You study him, not sure if he’d want to help you or not. His life is at stake already, it would be stupid to help you and he’s already risking it by talking to you right now.

He breathed out through his nose, “Okay fine, but we need to be careful. We only have one shot at this.”

“Thank you.” You said, almost not believing that he agreed with you, you could’ve sworn you imagined it.

“When you walk down the aisle, I’ll set off a distraction by shooting nearby, Namjoon will order his men to take care of it, and when he does.” He pauses.

“You run.” He says, dead serious, he takes out his car keys giving them to you, “The car is parked behind the house. You drive until there’s no more gas left, do you understand me?” He looked at you in the eyes, holding your hand with the car keys in your palm.

Before you could answer, you hear the door open. Quickly letting go of your hand, he walks out of the room with his head down. You look at Namjoon glaring at Jun until he fully leaves, he closes the door and takes off his suit jacket, “I hope he didn’t bother you.”

“No, he just left some food with a painkiller.” You said, tightly gripping the car keys in your hand. You were sure it would leave a mark but you didn’t care.

You watch him nervously as he ripped off his tie, “huh,” he said, walking toward the walk-in closet to get changed. Meanwhile, he was there, you quickly put the keys in your bra.

He came out a minute later, wearing shorts with a simple black T-shirt that sat snuggly on his body, highlighting his silhouette and toned figure.

What a waste of handsomeness you thought.

“Have you had a chance to see your dress yet?” He asked, sitting on the bed edge of the bed.

“No.”

“I have a few selected for you, you can choose the one you desire. I also have a few trustful people hired to take care of your hair and makeup.” He explained, pausing to turn to look at you. “So don’t try to escape. Understand?”

“Yes.” You said, looking at the tray of food. Not sure if you should eat it or not. What if it had some kind of drugs that make you feel too tired to run away?

Before you could decide if you should eat or not, your stomach decided for you because it suddenly started to make a grumbling growling sound.

You looked down at your stomach, cursing under your breath, embarrassed that he had heard you, but surprisingly the big scary mafia boss laughed.

You looked at him, thinking why was he laughing?

“Cute.” He said smiling, carrying the tray to the coffee table. “Eat up, it’s safe.”

Not needing to be asked twice, you decided getting some food in your system wouldn’t be so bad. So you get up and sit by the chair near the table and start eating.

After finishing your food and getting ready to wash up, Namjoon suggested that you should sleep early, to look your best tomorrow.

You finish washing up and walk towards the bed to grab a pillow to sleep on the couch. Namjoon notices, “What are you doing?” He asks

“Sleeping on the couch?” You said, stopping at your spot.

“No, you’re sleeping with me tonight.” He ordered, grabbing the pillow out of your hand while pulling you to bed.

“Fine.” You said through clenched teeth, giving up easily, not wanting to anger him.

You try to put a pillow between you guys but he quickly grabs it and throws it on the ground. Soon enough, he pulled you in by your waist so that he could be the big spoon.

“Seriously?” You asked, irritated while you tried to get away by pushing him, but it was no use.

“Shh go to sleep now, you’ll need all the beauty you could get.” He coed, turning the lights off as he wrapped his arms around you while he rested his chin on your shoulder.

Hating how suffocating, but somewhat nice it felt. You try to relax, thinking over the plan and hoping that Jun wouldn’t betray you.

This was your only chance, you couldn’t afford to mess it up.

———

You are woken by an annoying beeping sound, still feeling a bit groggy, you try to locate the sound by listening to where it came from.

Ah, the alarm clock. You aggressively hit it, still in bed with your face buried into a pillow.

Or so you thought because it started to vibrate, making a chuckling sound.

You quickly look up and see Namjoon staring at you with sleepy, sensual looking eyes, greeting you with a good morning smirk.

You swiftly get up from bed, now finally feeling fully awake. You clear your throat, “Uh, it’s bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day before the ceremony.” You explained, continuing to play the part.

“You’re right, but I have a good feeling about this.” He said, sitting on the bed before getting up to get ready.

“Baby, I need to take care of some things. Can I trust to leave you alone?” He asked, walking towards the bathroom.

You nod, as you watch him turn on the shower. You turn your back around, checking if the key was still there because it strangely felt a little too comfortable, thankfully it was still there.

Now all you had to do now was get dressed without someone noticing you have a piece of metal between your boobs.

You sit on the bed for what seemed to be a half an hour, waiting for Namjoon to get ready to leave. He fixes his tie once again, “They'll be here in five minutes. Can’t wait to see you then.” He said, gently kissing your forehead before heading out.

It wasn't long until a whole team of makeup artists and stylists swarmed into the room.

You look at the dresses Namjoon had chosen for you to choose from, they were all beautiful wedding gowns but you had to let your personal taste stay behind because you needed to choose the most practical dress to run away in.

You chose the one with less fabric and more space so that you could run fast. The dress was still very stunning as it looked gorgeous.

While you got your hair and makeup done, you couldn’t help but stare at your wedding ring the whole time. Hating the feeling of the beautiful diamond ring wrapped around your finger like that.

It wasn’t long until you were ready, the team that had gotten you ready looked pleased, waiting for you to take a look at yourself in the mirror.

You turn around and see that you looked almost unrecognizable, not in a bad way, but more in a way where you didn’t ever think you could ever look this beautiful.

Stopping yourself from almost crying at the thought of getting married this way. This was not how you’d imagined it. You were gonna marry someone you love, someone you could spend the rest of your life with, someone that made you happy and made you feel complete.

This, this was not it.

You clear your throat before recollecting yourself, thanking the team for their hard work while you sit in Namjoon’s room quietly.

You hear a knock on the door and Jun enters the room, “The ceremony won’t begin in a few, boss said you could arrange your bouquet if you’d like?”

“I’d love that.” You said, getting up as he escorted you out.

He seemed to look better today than yesterday, he still had an awful bruise on his face but you could tell it was healing quickly.

He walked you out and you could see that the ceremony was being held in the garden, you could tell by the nice subtle decorations and the beautifully flower-decorated gazebo right in the middle of the garden.

“You look pretty by the way.” He said, holding a pair of floral scissors in his right hand. Understanding that you won’t be the one cutting the flowers for your bouquet, only arranging them.

“Thank you Jun,” you said, weakly smiling at him while walking towards the white roses.

“Will you cut these for me?” You said pointing at the white roses, he cut a few of them and a few others you had told him to cut.

Holding a bunch of flowers in your hand, you return to your room, but before Jun could leave you all alone again, “Remember the plan.” He said, giving you a sad smile, as he slowly and carefully closed the door.

You arrange the flowers into a pretty yet elegant bouquet. Satisfied by how it turned out, you get interrupted by one of Namjoon’s men knocking on the door, shouting from the other side of the door that it’s time.

You take a last glance at yourself in the mirror as you take a slow deep breath, putting the veil over your face. You hold the flowers in both of your hands in front of you.

You had to remember this was a fake wedding, something to lure your father into Namjoon’s palm. But even then, what will he do to him? Kill him and then let you go after all of this is over? You’d doubt that.

You try not to think about it anymore to avoid further stress, the last thing you do before walking out is put a fake smile on your face.

You hear music playing and you understand that’s your cue, the doors open and you could see Namjoon standing in the gazebo. If it wasn’t for your fucked up situation. This would have seemed like a marvelous wedding ceremony, but it could not be the furthest thing from that.

Noticing some of Namjoon’s mobsters guarding the place making it almost impossible to run away, but you don’t see Jun.

You walk out, focusing on looking at him. He stood there with his hand on top of the left one, smiling, almost looking pleased with himself.

Sick fuck you thought.

As you got closer and closer, your heart started to beat faster and faster. Swallowing your fear, you now stand right in front of him.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said, looking at you with lustful eyes.

And just like that, you hear loud gunshots. With everyone’s attention on the sound and the bodyguards running towards it.

You start running like hell.

Running to the backyard, panicking, you take out the car keys and press to unlock. Finding the car and running towards it, you open the passenger car door only to find a person falling down the seat.

It was Jun.

With a bullet through his head.

The sight had you nearly passed out, but before you could react, someone harshly grabbed your arm.

“Let go!” You yelled, trying to set free but not being able to.

He didn’t respond as he pulled you towards the garden.

“I said let go!” You yelled once again pulling away from him, only this time harder.

He lets go and leaves you alone, that is until you hear a sigh so you turn around and look up and see Namjoon staring at you with a disappointed look on his face.

Now you were fucked.

“What did I ask you not to do?” He calmly said, which scared you evermore.

“Don't try to escape.” You mumbled, trying to look away from him.

He walked closer to you as you flinched back a little, he grabbed your face to look him in the eyes.

“Exactly, but you did it anyway.”

“Baby, do you know what happens to people who disobey and betray me?” He asked, a slight smile forming on the corner of his lips.

“No.” You whispered, scared of what he might tell you.

“Come, let me show you instead.” He quickly said, tightly grabbing your arm in an almost brushing grip, pulling you towards the yellow rose bushes.

“You were right, your daddy does care about you huh baby?” He said, still pulling you as you struggled to keep up.

“Babygirl, I want you to say hello to my father.” He said, pushing you down on the soil in front of the first yellow rose bush.

“My mother.” He said, pulling you to the next one rose bush.

“And lastly,” he paused.

“Your father.”

No, no no no it couldn't be.

“Do you understand now not to test me baby?” He asked crouching down to your level as he gently held your face in his palms.

Not knowing what to say or how to react, you stare at him in shock, nodding fastly up and down.

Your dress is now completely ruined as your hands and feet sink deep into the dirt, you tightly grip the soil under you in your hands, feeling how it gets under your nails.

He looked at you in adoration as he tucked your messy hair behind your ear, taking a closer look at your face before gently pulling you in, placing his warm lips against yours, giving you a peek.

He slowly pulled away, using his thumb to wipe away the single tear that slid down your flustered dirty cheek.

“Until death do us apart.”

———

*4 years ago*

Namjoon had a heated discussion with your father. Your father wanted to quit doing his dirty work and of course, when you’re in this life you can’t get out of it, not alive at least.

“I don’t think that’s smart of you to do,” Namjoon said, getting up from his leather office chair.

“I know you don’t care about your low life but you surely care about your daughters.” Namjoon continued, threatening your father.

“Leave her out of this!” Your father yelled, pulling a gun out of his pocket and aiming it at Namjoon.

Namjoon smirked, almost laughing at the pathetic man in front of him.

“There’s no need for that,” Namjoon said, looking at the gun, but your father stood in the same position until he was knocked out by someone behind him.

“Torture him until he comes to his senses,” Namjoon ordered, looking at the passed-out man in pity and disgust.

“Yes, boss.”

That night, Namjoon decided to visit the precious daughter that he had been curious about for a while now.

What made you so special that your father would give up his life for you? That kind of thinking didn’t make sense to Namjoon.

He parked right outside your flower shop, watching you from a distance as he studied your features.

You were rather beautiful, an eternal kind of beauty, alluring and almost delicate looking.

He watched you as you finished up the last bouquet for a customer.

A bouquet of yellow roses.

He watched you as you stretched your arms up and yawned, he couldn’t help but giggle as he thought of how cute and silly you looked while doing it.

Shocked by the sound he made, he quickly cleared his throat and looked around as if someone had seen or heard him.

Why did you have this kind of effect on him? He didn’t understand but it made him confused, he started to hate the idea of you being gone so he decided to do something he’d never thought he would do: let you live.

Before he drove off, sparing your life. He looked up at the light from the waxing crescent moon.

Despite it being only a crescent moon, it looked very bright, almost white. Glowing, glimmering, and shimmering. It nearly looked magical as he felt like he was enchanted by it.

He looked at you again as you flipped the sign from open to closed.

He carefully watched your moves as you walked through a door, disappearing into a room filled with beautiful flowers surrounding your beautiful self.

You could say at that moment…

He was moonstruck by you.

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