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#choi san fic
roomsofangel · 3 days
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GROWING PAINS . . . # CHAPTER NINE !
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synopsis you hated christmas. simple. this year was no different, the only thing changing was the scenery when you decide to let your older brother, yunho convince you to visit your grandmother who neither of you had met but hoped it would do some good. everything was still the same — writer’s block, the winter loneliness, the way yunho won’t stop singing jingle bell rock, yeah, everything was the same. at least, until a certain blonde haired boy made it his mission to melt your iced heart.
warnings none really!
wc 1.3k
if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ^_^
this chapter is in san’s pov !
a/n i decided to update this today and give you all a double update for growing pains since i know it has been a good while:( let me know what you guys think :D
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san thought he knew a lot of things back when he was still a rosy cheeked kid with deeper dimples than he had now — when he still had a lot of hope in the world and nothing snuffed out his spark just yet.
and maybe now that he’s an adult with more emotional scars than before, he can say he never wants anyone to feel the way he did. not since that night, he refuses to let anyone feel as if he has given up on them. sometimes he wonders if thats who he is or the fact he just wished no one ever gave up on him.
this small town, oh the ache it carried when he decided to come back three years ago to care for his mother. it was best to not live these days in his own rues, he had to learn to accept the past and embrace the future, no matter how much it ached.
and for the most part, san was fully convinced he was healed from that chapter of his life — that he no longer needed medication to make him feel alright.
“and this is yeosang.”
ah, that made his world shatter. kang yeosang in the flesh.
his eyes couldn’t help but match the other’s when they narrowed, eyeing and taking in the sight of how he was sat before the sound of your voice came up again, “you can sit by me if you want to.”
and san felt his heart ache a little, well— does it count as an ache? he hasn’t felt anything in his chest like this before, unless it was to do with hurt and sorrow. san nods, “of course yn.” he smiled, and tried to ignore the feeling of a glare on him as he took a seat with you, your smile warming him up.
it seemed that time was going by achingly slow, but san was thankful for the three that were there. mingi seemed to be decent, he reminded him of wooyoung. he should text wooyoung later, he forgot to do so.
as the movie progressed, it was some romcom that san could recall watching with his sister years ago, he couldn’t remember the name but he could recall certain scenes as he tried to snack on the popcorn given and focus on the texture, the taste. he could feel your hand brush against his and he felt his face warm, why was he warm?
“personally, if she says i’m a bird i’m gonna be a bird.” mingi broke the silence with his hands raised up in defense, making yunho snort and san couldn’t help but laugh a little himself and nod along. “so are you?” he teased a little and mingi grinned
“i like this guy.” mingi motioned over to san who nodded his head in acknowledgment and returned the grin, yunho agreeing with a “right!”
but san didn’t miss one thing,
the one thing but san is he was too observant for his own good
so yeosang must have forgotten that san noticed everything, even the similar little scowl that he remembered all too well.
“no! like this!” mingi shoved yunho aside to get onto the snowy ground, laying on his back and spread out to begin making a snow angel, making yunho groan and find a new spot to make his own
san chuckled, turning his attention to you who quickly looked away and back at your brother, making his lips only curl up more. he was convinced his face would hurt later on. “are they always like this?” he asked, wondering out loud and asking you while you nod and laugh. “sadly.” you said in response, san chuckled
“thank you for inviting me, yn.” san whispered softly as his eyes glanced up at the night sky, the stars twinkling and he noticed the moon was full. god, it was beautiful. he always loved the moon, he loved the different meanings and the different phases. how can something so magnetic and beautiful also be so far?
his eyes glanced towards you, your rosy nose scrunching as you felt the snowflakes fall onto the bridge of your nose and melt on your skin, your focus more on the same moon he was admiring.
how can something so magnetic and beautiful feel so far?
san walked back to his home, holding his house keys while you followed behind, your little hums making him smile at the snowy ground that he tried to focus on, counting each little detail. “hey san,” your voice met his ears, and he hummed in response
“i’m glad you came tonight.” you said, the two of you reaching his doorstep and he thought this was comical in a way, maybe even endearing. you were walking him to his door this time, oh how the roles reversed but he didn’t mind. he’d do anything to spend just even another second with you.
san smiled, “me too.”
“i’ll.. see you around?” your voice got a bit higher towards the end, your feet backpedaling to walk away soon to get on your way back home but your gaze was still on him, cheeks and nose rosy. “you know where to find me.” he whispered, not letting his eyes leave you for one moment. no, he needed to every little detail of you tonight committed to memory.
you looked.. so beautiful, under the moonlight with the snowflakes in your hair. “goodnight, san.” you looked at him, and he nodded.
“goodnight, yn.”
you reminded san of the moon,
he just hoped he could be your sun.
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yoongiseesawmp3 · 28 days
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u got it bad - san (m)
summary: baseball player!san x reporter!reader. you've been covering your local team for years. the players, the coaches, everybody knows you. except for newbie choi san. he just joined the team, but he knows you from somewhere...maybe the bar last night?
word count: 14.5k
warnings: lots of baseball jargon, afab reader, sex (some protected some not), thigh riding, oral (barely. m receiving tho), a little cockwarming
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you love your job. as a kid, you always dreamed of working here, walking into this stadium every day, and doing what you loved most. granted, back then you were imagining yourself as one of the players, but oh well. a girl can still dream, right?
you landed the job as sideline reporter for your favorite baseball team right out of college. they wanted someone willing to stick around for a while, and you recall telling them in your interview, "if i start working here, you'll never be able to get rid of me." they loved it, and they loved that you were a hometown supporter. it made your stories more meaningful, gave you a point of view that fans could appreciate. you were able to write touching pieces on the players, give the season the dramatic arc on camera that it deserved, and you treated everyone at the team with respect. that respect went both ways, with the players, coaches, front office staff...everyone knew who you were and included you as if you were a part of the team.
you had to work hard for that respect. it didn't take long for you to prove yourself, but it did take several sleepless nights and countless overtime hours to become the reporter you are. you know everything about this team, and that's what makes you so good.
because you know eveything, you obviously know that they're close to signing star right fielder choi san. you've heard talk that it's basically done, he flew in this morning and is set to sign his contract first thing tomorrow. of course, you had memorized his past work jumping around the league as soon as the rumors started. it was your job, after all, to know these things. you knew he was great on the field, that was easy, but everyone loved him in the dugout. he's the kind of player that remembers everyone's names, brings gifts for the team around the holidays, asks about your family when he sees you. he's a stand up guy, you hear.
you've also heard that he likes to play the field outside of the stadium, if you catch my drift. he's very popular with the ladies in whatever city he deems to call home for that season, and as you walk through your favorite bar outside the stadium, you can tell the women here already know choi san is close by.
one thing you do not know is that san is in this bar, right now. yes, he's signing his contract tomorrow, but he wanted to visit the stadium today, when it was still quiet. he likes getting the feel of a team before he joins, so he wandered around the empty stadium a few times before coming here to clear his head. upon entering, he sees his face plastered on all the tvs as espn does a deep dive into what his move here might mean. he thought he was screwed, that people would immediately notice him, but so far so good. he's got a nondescript cap on and dark sweats, so he hopes his booth in the corner is enough to keep him hidden while he has a celebratory pint. he doesn't report to training until day after tomorrow, so he thought he could treat himself tonight.
as he sits and drinks, soaking in the atmosphere, he has to laugh. he wants to stay hidden, but really, with his likeness and his entire career plastered on every screen above the bar, you'd think someone would know. at least look at him and make a comment about the resemblance. but it doesn't seem like anyone here knows a thing.
except you. as you sit at the bar, swirling the straw in your glass, you take a look around. there's some regulars that smile and wave, but for the most part it's not that busy. maybe that's what makes him stand out more. your eyes fall on choi san, all star right fielder and the newest member of your team, trying to hide in the corner. but his sharp eyes and broad shoulders alert you immediately that the subject of all your recent studies is here. and he's staring at you. you stare back, and he quirks an eyebrow, almost like a challenge.
you take the bait and make your way to his table.
"anyone sittin' here?" you ask in a slight southern accent, and san smiles. it's been a while since he played in the south. he forgot how charming it can be. maybe he'll catch himself a southern belle while he's here.
"saved it for you," he smirks, and you hum as you sit across from him. he sees your almost empty glass and states, "looks like you need another."
"ah, i probably shouldn't," you shake your head. "got an early morning."
"me too," san nods, that smirk still comfortably on his face. "so what's your name, beautiful?"
"y/n," you reply. you try not to let your heart flutter at the nickname, or the way he's staring at you, but it's hard. "yours?"
"san," he says simply. "you from here, y/n?"
"born and raised," you answer. "you new to the city?"
"you could say that," he sighs. "just moved here for work, but i've visited a couple times."
"how are you likin' it so far?"
"to be honest?" he makes a face. "it's kind of boring."
"excuse me?" you're taken aback. you don't take kindly to people badmouthing your hometown, and you don't like the mischievous spark in san's eyes as he continues.
"well, girl as pretty as you not taking me up on my offer of another round, that's no fun is it?" he teases.
"ahah," you laugh halfheartedly. "sure, i can see why that would upset you."
"i'm not upset, doll, just disappointed."
"well, hate to disappoint you further, but i really do have an early morning," you say as you start to rise. "just saw a stranger sittin' all by his lonesome and thought i would say hi."
"i'm glad you did," san raises his glass to you. "maybe i'll see you around?"
"maybe," you shrug, trying to bite back a smile. "nice meeting you san."
you feel his eyes on you as you return your glass to the bar, waving goodbye to the bartender before you head to the door. you turn before you leave, meeting san's eyes across the room, and you just smile to yourself as you step outside.
-
san is the first one in the clubhouse the next day. he loves the smell of an empty locker room, untainted by the man stench that inevitably comes with a roomful of athletes. he smiles warmly as he walks in and sees his locker decorated in welcome. he's looking through all the gifts, some regulation equipment he asked for and some just goodies from the team, as the players start slowly arriving.
the first to arrive is jongho. he's the catcher, and san finds it easy to talk to him. he seems quiet, but most catchers are the stoic type, so maybe jongho will open up to him in time. the next guy in has the opposite issue. wooyoung, the shortstop, immediately claps san into a hug, babbling a mile a minute about how great it's gonna be to have him on the team.
san gets stuck talking to wooyoung for a while, which he doesn't mind. they get along quickly, but as they talk the rest of the team trickles in. hongjoong, the second baseman, waves to san from across the room. seonghwa, the left fielder, carefully places his things into the locker next to san's, then gives san a wordless handshake and a warm smile. yunho, the first baseman, is spread out at the locker to san's right. mingi, the third baseman, is next to him. wooyoung finally leaves for his locker next to hongjoong, and next to him is yeosang, the center fielder. pitchers must not report today, because san scans the room and counts eight.
he checks the time and notices he's almost late for his press conference, so he gets to work getting dressed before someone appears at his side to escort him down the hall. she works in media relations and gives him the run down of the conference, explaining that the coach will do a quick intro before san comes up to say a few words. they'll shake hands, he'll sign his contract, and then take a few questions before reporting to more press stuff. nothing he hasn't done before, but san still brushes his sweaty hands on his pants to calm his nerves as they enter.
san hears the chatter of the press die down as their eyes fall on him. it's a big room, lots of reporters and cameras, and he smiles and waves as he gets ushered to the side of the makeshift stage in the front. the coach steps up then, welcoming everyone and giving a bit of insight on why they wanted to sign san. this team desperately needed a right fielder, so in all the negotiations it was basically just their operations team begging san to come play for them. the coach paints it a different way, and san does his best to grab onto a few phrases so he can sprinkle them into his own speech. the coach calls him up and san takes a seat next to him, falling smoothly into his regular "happy to be here, excited at the opportunity" spiel. he scans the room and recognizes a few faces, so he gets more comfortable as he goes on.
"i think at the end of the day, i'm looking for a team that i can be with for a long time," san starts to conclude. "and so far, i'm really liking it here. maybe this will be that team."
he goes through the motions of signing, shaking hands, posing for pictures, and then settles back into his seat for the question portion. at his other teams, he's been allowed to pick the press he talks to, so he scans the room for familiar faces, but media relations steps in and starts calling names. the first one takes him by surprise, and a smile grows on his face as he sees who steps up.
"y/f/n, local news," you smile back at san as the recognition crosses his features. "you said you're liking the city so far? can i ask what makes you think this team, this franchise, will be the one to make you stay?"
"you were at the bar last night," he responds, and you feel yourself blush. a chuckle ripples through the crowd of reporters as san goes on. "sorry, just. this is a surprise, is all."
"i agree," you quip back. "because yesterday you told me you didn't like this city. so i'm just wondering what made you change your mind."
"honestly? the people," he answers sincerely, holding your gaze. "it's hard to explain, but things feel...different here. i've never been with a team where the players are so welcoming, the staff is so kind, and the reporters are hanging out at local bars after hours." another laugh. "so i think this franchise might have more of the culture i've been missing from those other teams i've played for. that answer your question, y/n?"
"yep," you give him a satisfied nod. "happy to have you here, san."
"happy to be here," he smiles, and you swear the lights from all the cameras make his teeth sparkle. he keeps staring at you as media relations calls for the next question, and only when his attention is no longer on you do you realize that your heart is beating too fast.
-
today's only a press day for the boys, there's no actual training that needs to happen, but that doesn't mean the clubhouse is calm. no, actually, there's more people here than there will be for the rest of the season, what with all the camera crews and a few stylists running around. oh, and the fact that everyone who works here wants to get a peek at choi san. he left the press conference and saw a group down the hall, staring and whispering. san wasn't sure which way to go to find the locker room, so he approaches the group with a smile. turns out it's front office staff, part timers, anyone who works here that needed to see san with their own eyes to believe he's really playing here. he's charming as ever, learning everyone's names, signing things, taking pictures. he even stands by happily as an older woman calls her grandsons, and they laugh together as the little boys squeal in excitement.
san stays until everyone has what they wanted, which must have taken a while, because he sees the press trickling out toward the exit. he keeps his eyes peeled for one person in particular, and when you pass through the doors and turn san's way, he smiles. you stop, eyes focused on the notebook you're furiously scribbling in, so you don't see him. that won't do, san thinks, so walks over and stops in front of you with a sigh.
"what do you want san," you ask it as a statement, eyes not moving from your notes.
"how'd you know it was me?"
"i know everything," you look up then, meeting his smile with one of your own. "and you've got cleats on, so i knew it wasn't anybody from your fan club coming to ask for my notes."
"my fan club?" he laughs, but you can tell it boosts his ego. "i think they're just fans of the team."
"are you always like this?" you ask thoughtfully, and san says he doesn't know what you're talking about. "you're not cocky, but you're humble, and you're cocky about being humble. does that make sense?" you stop to scribble that down, and san tries again to see what else you've written. you catch him this time, tugging the notes just out of his line of sight. "don't you have pictures to take?"
"how'd you-"
"i told you, i know everything," you joke again, taking a moment to stuff your pen back in your bag. that leaves your notebook unattended, and san snatches it, running a few steps down the hall with evil glee. you stomp after him and fail in grabbing it from his eager hands.
"hey, this is good," san reads, his eyes scanning the paper. "you write all your stuff by hand?"
"depends," you shrug. "i started getting bored at the end of that talk and i needed to organize my thoughts."
"oh i can tell you were bored," san smirks, his eyes flicking to you. "i like the doodle of me."
"that doodle could be of anybody," you say as you finally snatch your notebook back. you put it securely in your bag as san continues to look smug.
"i think it was a doodle of me," he says as he starts walking away. "if you ever want me to sit for another portrait, you know where to find me, doll."
"where ya goin'?" you ask him, and he stops. he looks down the hall in front of him back towards you with his thumb pointing behind him.
"to the locker room?"
"that's this way dummy," you point, and you're pleased to see his ears turn red as he corrects his steps. you're heading to the exit, so you walk in the same direction briefly. san slows his steps to keep up with you, and he's so close that his hand keeps brushing yours.
"looks like this is where i leave ya, doll," he sighs, and you wave as you keep walking. "i'll see you soon?"
"you'd like that wouldn't you?" you turn around with a smirk, watching san as you push through the doors to the parking lot. "bye san."
-
san loves the first practice of the season. he loves the feeling of walking onto a brand new field, seeing the empty stadium ahead. at his his other teams, he's had to make this walk alone, his former teammates usually more reserved or too good to talk to him. not here, though. as he takes the field, he finds himself engrossed in a deep argument with jongho and wooyoung about the best world series team of all time, and san feels giddy. he feels like he did when he was a kid, playing ball with his friends, and it's only the first day of practice! imagine what an entire season here would be like. every day, san is thankful he made this move.
another reason for san to be happy he's here is, well, you. working with the press at other teams wasn't exactly a thrill, but rather a part of the job he had to get through. here he's eager to give a statement, always willing to join a press conference, just to have the chance of messing with you.
as he makes the long walk to the outfield for warm ups, san sees someone by the visitor's dugout who's not in uniform. he squints a little in the early morning sun and sees that it's a woman, but assumes it's someone from the front office. he keeps walking, but a laugh echoes out and san turns back to this mystery woman.
"y/n?" he shouts, holding his glove over his eyes to see if that'll block out the sun. sure enough, you turn from your talk with the managers to send him a wave, and that giddy feeling san had walking onto the field is back. "what are you doing here?"
"my job!" you shout back, and with that you go back to work. one of the coaches jogs by san then, tossing a baseball in his direction.
"stop shoutin', son," he says. "go throw that in left field. seonghwa will take you through the warm ups, then we'll come together for drills."
"yes sir," san nods, jogging over to his teammate. he steals one last glance at you, and he swears the sunlight makes you glow.
-
san is exhausted after practice. he knew playing for this team would challenge him, but damn. he's sore and it's only the first day! he's still catching his breath as the team mills about around him, and yunho smirks as he alerts the boys to san's condition.
"i think we wore the superstar out," yunho laughs, and san throws one of his sweaty towels at him. yunho screams and tosses it back, but mingi jumps in to grab it. "what the hell are you doing?"
"this is a sweaty towel used by the choi san," mingi says with importance. "do you know how much i could sell this for?"
"guys, come on," san laughs, snatching the towel back. "i'm not a superstar."
"says the superstar," wooyoung mumbles, and san contemplates throwing the towel again but decides not to, mingi is still close by.
"no, we get it," hongjoong assures him. "just because the press is saying that doesn't mean it's true. you're a part of the team, so you're a team player, right san?"
"yes, exactly-"
"please, i hope everybody is decent!" a familiar voice shouts from the doorway, and san smiles when he finds you standing there. you've got your notebook over your eyes to hide any naked players, but a quick sweep tells san that everyone is dressed for the most part.
"wait, wait!" jongho shouts as he fights to put a clean shirt on. some of the boys chuckle at him while san says, "dude, she's probably seen a guy shirtless before."
"but she's a lady, san," jongho insists. "it's not polite. and i don't like to have my nips out when i'm giving quotes."
"that's why he's my favorite," you say, finally risking a peek. "all good?"
to be honest, san is a little shocked you're here. it's kind of odd for a reporter to be in the locker room after a regular practice, but he trusts this team and how they run things. most importantly, he trusts you. but his shock holds true as you greet the team while making your way straight toward him.
"aw, she's just here for superstar," mingi pouts, and you make him hush.
"i have to publish my story on him today and need to check quotes," you explain. "i'm coming for you next, mingi."
as mingi celebrates, you surprise san further by walking right up to him and taking the seat by his locker. you're flipping through your notebook as he watches you, and after a few seconds you look at him then pat the bench next to you.
"come on, get cozy," you tell him. "you spoke too fast yesterday and i didn't catch all of your answers."
"because you were too busy doodling?" san teases, taking a seat exceptionally close to you.
"that was after you," you explain, but san sees your ears turn red. "can you look through this and tell me if anything rings a bell?"
"y/n, you may be good at your job, but you have shit handwriting," san says after staring at the page long enough for your chicken scratch to make his head hurt. some of the boys near him laugh, and yunho pops his head in to take a look.
"oh yeah that's illegible," yunho confirms. "cute drawing of san, though."
"go away yunho."
"yes ma'am."
you're able to piece together what san said in the press conference, so once you're satisfied you take a moment to type up the changes into your phone. you send the story off to your editor, but then start working through who else you need to talk to today. san is watching all of this, and when your eyebrows furrow in concentration, he leans in.
"i know what you're thinking," he whispers, and you have to shake from your concentration to look him in his sneaky eyes.
"what?"
"i said i know what you're thinking," he repeats with a shrug. when you don't respond, he keeps going. "i bet you're wondering, hm, is san free tonight? well, i am."
"i can't use that for my story," you tell him, and he bumps his shoulder into yours.
"this is when you say if you're free."
"is it?" you ask, gathering your things so you can move on to the next player. "i'm not quite sure about that yet."
"whatever, doll," san smiles. "you know where to find me."
-
you did know where to find him. you knew he would be at the bar tonight. you knew he wasn't supposed to be there, and you knew you shouldn't go looking for him but you couldn't help yourself. after all, you've got to take yourself out for a drink - you filed your first story of the season today. you deserve to celebrate!
as soon as you walk in you can tell it's a mad house. the bar is packed, and it reminds you of how busy it gets after a game. you wonder if it's just preseason excitement that has so many people here, but you don't wonder long. you're here for a drink, so you squeeze between two guys at the bar and wave the bartender down. everyone here knows you, so you get to cut the line.
"hey y/n," he smiles as he walks up. "want your regular?"
"yeah, but top shelf tonight," you tell him. "finished my first story of the season today."
"is it any good? maybe i'll read this one," the bartender jokes as he gets to work.
"i didn't know you could read," you tease, and you smile when he tosses his head back in a laugh. the sound draws someone's attention, but you're too busy flirting with the bartender to notice.
"and to think i was gonna pay your tab myself," he shakes his head.
"put whatever she gets on mine," someone says at your side, and you physically jump when you recognize who it is.
"san?"
"told you to come find me, doll, why are you surprised i'm here?" he smirks. you can tell he's wearing league issued workout clothes, but to the regulars in the bar he's just some dude in sweats. he's got a ball cap pulled low over his eyes, and if he didn't have such striking features you'd say he was blending in pretty well. "i thought we were getting a drink together."
"are we?" you ask. "because i don't recall you actually asking me." san dips his head, knowing that you caught him in a lie.
"can i get whatever she's drinking?" san asks the bartender as he finally places your drink down, and your mouth hangs open in surprise.
"what's this sparkly shit for?" you ask, flicking at the gold pompom on the toothpick poking out of your cup. there's also swirls of gold in your drink, and the bartender shrugs.
"you said you were celebratin'," he explains. "wanted to make sure the drink rose to the occasion."
"well thank you," you say as you lift the drink to your lips, mostly to hide your blush. san is watching this interaction next to you, doing a horrible job of hiding his disgust.
"here's your drink man," the bartender says, plopping a cup down in front of san. "her's was on the house. i added yours to your tab."
"how generous," san smiles, tipping his cup toward the bartender as he walks away. san turns to you slowly, and says, "he's nice."
"you shouldn't be here."
"why, am i interrupting your date?" san quips.
"no," you roll your eyes. "you shouldn't be seen here. lots of fans, you'll probably get stopped for pictures, autographs, kissing babies..."
"they don't let babies into bars, y/n," san smirks at you. "but thanks for looking out for me."
"isn't against team rules for you to go out during the preseason anyway?" you ask, knowing full well it is.
"i don't like following rules," san shrugs.
"oh so that's why you've played for six different teams in five years?" it's your turn to quip, and san whistles.
"you got me there, ace," he sighs. "so what's this about you celebrating tonight?"
"that's nothing," you try to brush it off. "i sent in that story about you, remember? well, it got approved, so i have a tradition of taking myself out for a drink here when my first story of the season is filed."
"taking yourself out?" san shakes his head. "no, no no no. that won't do. i'm getting you another drink, unless your boyfriend tries to pay for it again, and then we're going out."
"you have to report to practice at 7am," you remind him, and he groans, dropping his head on your shoulder.
"you knowing everything about the team is totally ruining my game."
"aw, you did a fine job of that yourself," you coo, patting his cheek. you cup his chin and pull him back up, and you hide a smile when you notice the blush on his cheeks. "maybe you can owe me? take me out for real?"
"i'd like that," san nods.
"i knew you would," you tease, and san reaches an arm out to pull you into his side. he over calculates and accidentally smacks the guy behind you, who turns around in a drunken haze ready to fight.
"what the-" he starts, anger in his swimming eyes. when they land on san, you both see recognition take over his features in slow motion. "holy shit y'all! it's choi san!"
"come on," you grab san's arm, tugging him in the opposite direction. you think there's an entrance out the back, so hopefully the two of you can squeeze through the masses before too many people catch on. as you drag san behind you, you hear the bar goers talking about the star in their midst. some drunk lady grabs sans arm and won't let go, and he won't shake her off like you tell him to. you get caught, the exit you were hoping for just in the distance. people start crowding around san, trying to wedge between you, but he won't let go of your hand. he finishes signing a bar napkin for a guy who definitely used a fake to get in here, and then you're pulling san along again. the crowd is starting to push, and they're all drunk. and rowdy. and loud.
"aw, look, he's already got himself a bitch!" someone shouts, watching you cling onto san as you push him toward the exit. he stops cold, looking around for the drunken idiot. he reinforces his idiocy by stepping forward, slurring his words as he says, "didn't take you long, son-" *hiccup* "always got sluts lookin' for ya-" *hiccup* "she's a pretty one too-"
before you register what he's doing, san shakes you off of his arm. he steps closer to the man, and you feel yourself calling his name, but in the chaos even you can't hear yourself. san pulls his arm back and clocks the man in the face, splattering blood from his now probably broken nose.
"SAN!" you shout, yanking him back toward you. "let's GO."
adrenaline and shock give you the strength to drag a stunned san out of the bar, but it's so packed there were people in the alley already. they weren't aware of what went on inside, so you're able to tug san around the corner. you rush him toward the parking deck, and thank your lucky stars you moved your car from the employee lot earlier. you shove san into your passenger seat, slamming the door shut so you can rush to the driver's side. as you start the car, you look to the side and see san sinking further into the seat.
"i fucked up," he whispers. you hear a quiver in his voice, but you don't press him. "fuck. i'm gonna get kicked off the team. am i gonna get arrested?"
"you won't get kicked off the team," you tell him softly. "and i'll call the bartender in a minute, explain it to him. just pray that asshole you punched doesn't press charges."
"y/n, i'm so sorry," san says, looking to you with a scared look in his eyes. "i just. i couldn't let him talk to you like that."
"thank you san," you say sincerely. "let me see your hand."
"no, it's fine," he insists, but when you touch it he flinches.
"fuck san, how are you gonna play tomorrow?"
"i'm so losing my job," he shakes his head, sitting up like he's going to leave.
"whoa, where are you going?"
"i have to go apologize," he says, trying to open the door but struggling to do it with his hurt hand. "shit, i have to pay for our drinks, and my car! i need to-"
"san," you say sternly, and he looks to you again with those sad eyes. "i'll fix it. ok? do you trust me?"
"yes," he nods vigorously.
"good," you nod back. "can you buckle your seatbelt or do i have to do that too?"
"where are we going?" san asks after securing his seatbelt. it's a good thing he did, because you whip your car out of its spot so fast his body slams against the strap. "seriously road runner, where are you taking me?"
"we need to fix your hand," you tell him. "i live close by, so i'll fix you up and then in an hour or two i'll bring you back for your car."
"thank you," san says. "you're saving my ass."
"just be really good this season, ok?" you ask him. "it'd be fun to watch my team win for once."
"anything for you, ace."
-
a few minutes later, you've got a sheepish all-star perched on the edge of your tub as you stand over him and wipe the blood from his hand. you already sent a text to the bartender, so that's cleared up. apparently, san was doing everyone a favor by punching that guy. no one likes him, so san's not in any trouble with the bar. chances are the guy won't press charges either, he tends to start shit around town so the cops wouldn't necessarily be on his side.
the main issue now is the team. there's pictures and videos floating around, and you were right, san wasn't supposed to be out tonight. he's got a missed call from hongjoong already, and you're helping san figure out what to say to the coaches now.
"just own up to it," you tell him. "they'll appreciate the honesty. and tell them you beat that guy up because he was being mean to me, that'll help your case too."
"no," san shakes your head. "i'm not bringing you into this. i don't want to hurt your reputation."
"do it," you shrug. "i was there. i was part of it. if you don't tell them now, i will tomorrow when i do their preseason interviews."
"are you sure?"
"yep," you reply. "it'll help take some of the heat off of you. sources tell me not everyone is sold on you yet, but if they know you were defending my honor it'll get you some respect in the clubhouse."
"do you have blackmail on all these guys?" san jokes as he tries to focus on typing a text with one hand. you're done wiping the blood from his knuckles, and you've found a small cut on his hand that you need to cover. you step away for a second to bend down in front of your sink, searching through the cabinet below. san tries to hide that he's staring, but he does a poor job. he watches still as you stand up and tear open a bandaid, but he scoffs when he sees what's on it. "you are not making me wear a hello kitty bandaid."
"so you want to get infected?" you ask as you put the bandaid on him anyway. you trace your thumb over it softly, making sure it's laying flat, but you realize how tender this moment is. you're holding san's bruised hand in yours, standing so close to him that your legs are between his spread ones. you take a step back, but san uses his free hand to grab you by the waist.
"where you going, doll?" he whispers, looking up at you softly.
"you need an ice pack," you whisper back.
"you're not gonna kiss it to make it better?" he pouts, and you laugh to hide the way your heart skipped a beat.
"that doesn't work you know," you say as you bring his hand to your lips regardless. you place a delicate kiss to his soft skin, holding eye contact with him to watch his reaction.
"you're right, that didn't work," he sighs, and you start to let go. "maybe this will?" he asks, bringing you closer before cupping your face and pulling you down to his lips. he kisses you once, separating from you with a satisfied look on his face. "there. i'm all good now."
"nice," you squeak. "was this all an elaborate ploy to make me kiss you? because you could've just asked."
"really?" san asks gleefully. "will you kiss me?"
"just did."
"again," he pouts, and you lean down to kiss him quickly. he uses both his hands to hold you in place, his lips caressing yours as he lets out a quiet hum. he pulls back just to lean his forehead against yours and says, "yeah, that's got healing power baby."
"you still need ice," you tell him, stepping back before he can grab onto you again. "come on. maybe we can kiss some more in my kitchen?"
-
san ends up sleeping on your couch. he wouldn't let you leave after fixing up his hand, insisting that you've done enough for him tonight. he'll deal with his car in the morning. you tried giving him the bed, but it barely worked. he wouldn't even let you finish your sentence before he started covering his ears and shaking his head. you gave him an innocent kiss goodnight after setting him up with more pillows and blankets than one guy needs, and you both went to sleep.
except, he wasn't there when you got up. you set your alarm earlier than you planned, but even then you walk into your living room to find all the pillows stacked and blankets neatly folded. the only sign that san was here. well, that and the breakfast he ordered that waits for you on your kitchen table.
san had to be the first one at practice, so he couldn't wait for you to wake up. he also couldn't burden you more than he already has, so he woke before dawn and got to work. his hand feels fine, not great, but he thinks he can get through practice. he's rehearsed what he's going to say to the coaches, the team, the press, and he hopes it's enough.
-
most of your work for the day will take place in a smaller media room that's been set up for your one-on-one interviews with the coaching staff. that means you have no reason to linger outside the locker room, hoping to see san and check that he's ok. you distract yourself by going over the notes for the first interview, and before you know it, there's a knock at the door. it's the pitching coach, one of your favorite people on the team. he pokes his head in and smiles, so you welcome him as you dive into the same spiel you always do for these interviews. you're a pro, and the guys know what they're doing too, so it should be easy going. but as soon as you sit down to start, the coach stares at you with a look that's up to no good.
"so you were out with san last night," he states.
"i wasn't out with him," you explain. "we happened to be at the same bar."
"i heard he wrecked his hand defending you," the coach continues.
"he wrecked it?" you ask, more concern in your voice than you probably needed. "will he be able to play?"
"he'll play just fine," he nods. "don't you worry. we all heard what happened. shoot, some of the coaches and me were sending the videos back and forth last night. i tell you what, the boy's an idiot, but we've let men get by with worse. like i said, don't you worry."
"good," you breathe in relief. "then should we get started?"
-
it was a long day, after an incredibly long night, so when it's time for you to leave you're exhausted. you've been all over the place today, trying to keep up with your schedule, tracking people down for interviews, and you misplaced your notebook at least four times. you can't wait to get home, shower, and immediately go to sleep, but as you approach your car you realize you've lost your keys.
"shit," you hiss, dumping most of your bag out onto the hood of your car. you're mining through all your junk, wondering if it's too late to head back inside.
"hey," san says from behind you, and you jump.
"jesus!" you whip around to stare at him. "you scared me!"
"sorry ace," he smiles sheepishly. "thought you heard me coming."
"obviously not!" you screech, your heart still racing. "what's up?"
"looking for these?" he asks, dangling your keychain in front of you.
"oh my god you're a life saver," you sigh in relief, taking the keys from him gratefully. "how did you know these were mine?"
"i recognized them from last night," he shrugs. "and from the mascot keychain. i remember someone saying they had a childhood obsession with phil the bucket?"
"stop paying so much attention to me, could you?" you ask as you start shoveling your things back into your purse.
"here, let me help," san says as he joins you. he holds your purse open as you slide its contents back inside. "i owe you from last night, so consider this my starting point."
"the starting point?" you smile at him, and he nods.
"yep," he says nonchalantly. "first i found your keys, now the bag thing, and next, i don't know, maybe i take you to dinner?"
"hm, tonight?" you ask, and he nods again. "i have plans."
"then cancel them," san replies. you can tell he's joking by the glimmer of mischief in his eyes, but you know he really wants you to say yes.
"where would we go?"
"somewhere nice so i can spoil you," san says simply, closing your purse and walking to the driver's side of your car. "can i pick you up in thirty?"
"thirty minutes isn't enough time to get ready for a date, san," you frown.
"yeah, but any longer and i'll miss you too much," he pouts. you cup his chin and bring that pout to your lips, kissing him softly before you pull away.
"did that buy me another thirty?"
"twenty," he replies. "maybe twenty five if you promise to wear something sexy."
"deal."
-
as promised, san is outside your building exactly fifty five minutes later. you worried that not having his number and vice versa would make it hard to coordinate, but you're surprised when you check your phone and find that he texted you.
"i'm outside, ace," his text reads. no 'this is san' or anything to identify himself. you know it's him, so you tell him you're coming out.
you worry briefly you won't know which car is his, but as soon as you step outside you let out a soft laugh. of course he's got the most expensive car here, and of course he's leaned against the passenger door waiting for you. he lets out a low whistle as you approach, and you could act coy, but the reporter in you has to ask, "how'd you get my number, san?"
"i'm not giving up my source," he smiles smugly, opening the door for you. "you look incredible."
"it's nice seeing you in something other than baseball clothes for once," you reply. you take his hand and let him help you into the car, watching intently as he crosses the front to reach the driver's side. you're turned to him when he sits, and ask, "seriously. was it hongjoong? one of the coaches? you know they'll be on your ass if they find out you took me on a date."
"i'm not telling," san smirks again. "you gonna buckle your seatbelt or you need me to do it for you?"
"why, you a bad driver or something?" you tease.
"says the woman who gave me whiplash last night."
"i was trying to make a quick getaway before you got stormed by adoring fans again," you remind him.
"always looking out for me," he shakes his head. "i think someone has a crush." you don't respond, instead looking out the window to hide your smile. "you not saying anything isn't helping your case."
"no comment?" you reply, feeling proud at the blush on san's cheeks when you turn back to him. "so where's the superstar taking me?"
"san, the very nice young man you agreed to go out with, is taking you to one of his favorite restaurants," he replies.
"you've lived here like a week, how do you already have a favorite restaurant?"
"there was a place in one of the cities i used to play in, i went there every week," he explains as he drives. you catch yourself staring, but he doesn't seem to mind, so you continue. "the nicest staff. best food. always packed. then one day, it's gone. the owner and his wife moved so they could be closer to their daughter while she was at school, and they ended up here. he gave me a call as soon as my trade was final." you guess a couple places it could be, but they're all wrong. "so ms. know it all doesn't actually know it all?"
"don't call me that," you groan. "there's plenty i don't know."
"enlighten me, ace."
"i can't do math to save my life," you admit, and that gets a laugh out of san. "i don't know how to fold a fitted sheet. and don't tell anyone, but that new stat all the baseball pundits are talking about? it makes no sense to me."
"oh, that's easy," san says, and he falls into a comfortable conversation about baseball. you always wanted this from the guys you date, but despite your work, most guys assume that you don't know anything about sports because you're a woman. you're grateful that you don't feel that way around san, and you start to relax a little bit. you're not on a date with superstar outfielder choi san, you remind yourself. just san. just a, what did he say, a very nice young man?
that niceness continues when he parks his car, rushing to your door to get it for you. he takes your hand to help you out and doesn't let go as you walk in, and you're genuinely shocked that you haven't heard of this place before. it's fabulous, beautiful inside and out, and as soon as you walk in you're hearing san's name called. but this time it's not a fanatic, just a kind looking man and his wife.
"sannie!" she exclaims, pulling him into a soft hug. "oh, it's so nice to see you again. we were so happy when we heard you were coming here. i think it'll be good for you."
"me too," san agrees. he turns to the man then, the owner, and they exchange a manly handshake and similar pleasantries before he turns to you. "this is y/n, by the way. star reporter, loved by all-"
"and way out of your league," the owner winks at you. you feel yourself blush as san agrees, and then he's escorting you to your table. as you walk through the restaurant you notice it's surprisingly empty. didn't san say their last place was always full?
the owner helps you with your seat as his wife explains the specials, but you don't see a menu anywhere. you look at san quizzically and he gives you a look that says he'll explain shortly. after some more kindness, the owner and his wife are gone, and you get a chance to really take this place in.
"if you're wondering where the menu is," san starts, "they won't give us one. they never let me order when i come here, they just decide for me. and it's the best food i've ever had, each time."
"can't wait," you smile at him. "is this place as popular as their last one, you think?"
"i know it is," san nods. "that's why i booked it just for us."
"what?"
"i told them i was bringing a date and they offered to stay open late for us," he shrugs. "i hope that's not weird?"
"no," you reply. "i'm sure they're used to it by now."
"used to what?"
"you bringing dates here," you answer. "i can't be the only lucky lady you've done this with."
"well consider yourself lucky, ace," he says. "you're different."
"like can't be seen in public with me different?" you tease. "san, i'm flattered."
"no ace," he laughs. "i wanted this to be special, but if you want a crowd i can call the team-"
"no," you cut him off, grabbing his hand that's laid out on the table. "i like this. it's nice."
"told you i was gonna spoil you, doll," san smiles. "get used to it."
"should i?" you challenge, but san just continues smiling as a waiter brings by your drinks. you feel your walls falling more and more as the night goes on, as you and san eat some of the best food you've ever had. he's fun to be around, you think. maybe you'll give him more of a chance than you were expecting.
"so. i have a question," san says after the plates from your meal are cleared. you're waiting for dessert, but you're not sure you can eat much more.
"shoot," you tell him. "i ask you plenty, so ask away."
"in the locker room, yesterday i think? you said jongho was your favorite," he finishes with a pout.
"that's not a question," you laugh. "you'd be a shitty reporter."
"compared to you, everyone is," san replies. "but i meant, why is he your favorite? were you serious or just joking?"
"if i had to pick a favorite," you start, "i think it would be jongho. i've always liked catchers, so that works in his favor. he's fun to watch, and a lot of fun to work with."
"you have a thing for catchers?" san teases. "why?"
"not a thing," you say, wishing you could kick him underneath the table. "but maybe? i don't know. catchers do have really nice thighs."
"and outfielders?" san tries.
"never stood out to me," you reply. "it's either catchers or third basemen." you start to explain how your favorite player of all time, the one who got you into baseball, played third base, and you don't worry about sounding too much like a fangirl. you admit to the jerseys, the baseball card collection, all of it, and when you finish you look up to find san watching you with an amused look on his face. "what? too much?"
"no," he shakes his head. "i'm just thinking how good you'd look in one of my jerseys."
"try playing third," you tease. "maybe i'll buy one."
dessert comes then, and your focus turns to the amazing food again. maybe it was just you, but you felt a sort of...tension when you were talking just now. you weren't planning on sleeping with san, really ever, but that look in his eyes when he thought about you in his jersey, maybe the date won't end here.
after another visit from the owner and his wife, and plenty of take out to last you a few days, you're walking back to san's car. there's a chill in the air, so you gravitate to him for warmth. his arm circles around your waist, pulling you to his side, and he squeezes your hip. you feel goosebumps erupt on your skin, and you wonder again where the night might be going.
ever the gentleman, san helps you back into your seat and places your food carefully in the back. you're looking at him now in a new light, imagining how his hands would feel on your hips without a layer of clothes separating your skin from his. you're so caught up in your thoughts that you don't notice san has taken his seat, or that he said something to you. you ask him to repeat it, and he has a happy look on his face as he says, "thanks for going out with me, doll."
"thanks for asking," you reply. "i had a great time."
"good," he nods with finality, starting the car without another word. he doesn't even look at you again until he gets close to your building, and all those thoughts of what would happen next have left your mind. whatever vibe you caught from him in the restaurant was gone, he obviously wasn't planning on coming up to your apartment after this. your suspicions were confirmed when he pulls up to your door, turning to you with that same sappy look. "i had a great time tonight, y/n. thank you."
"yeah, sure," you mewl, gathering your things. "um, the food-"
"take all of it," san insists, twisting back to grab the bags. "this isn't exactly on my in-season diet, so i'm not sure how much i could sneak before the dietician clocks me for it."
"right, thanks," you nod, laden down with bags as you struggle to open your door. "well, thanks."
"you said that already ace."
"right," you repeat. "um, so, see you at work i guess?"
"looking forward to it," he smiles softly. "text me when you get in?"
"right," you say again, stepping out of his car without looking back.
-
the season starts shortly after your date with san, so you're too busy with work to think about it.
except that's a lie, you can't stop thinking about it. how could san be so flirty, act so into you, and then end the night without so much as a kiss goodbye? you don't want it to, but it's bothering you.
you don't have a reason to see him, at work or otherwise, until the first day of the season. you're set up in the dock next to the home dugout so you can get updates or a quick interview for the broadcast. you see san for the first time in days then, sitting there with your notebook and a headset, as he takes the field for warmups. it might be your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear san looks for you as he waits for seonghwa. as soon as his eyes find yours he turns around, jogging to the outfield after. you shake it off and get to work, checking your notes to make sure you've got the info right for the game. san will be the leadoff hitter, and you feel a pit of excitement in your stomach at the thought of watching him play. just from watching him in practice you know he's good, but he's electric when there's a real win on the line. still, you don't let your thoughts linger on him too long. you've got a job to do.
the game runs like clockwork, and the team easily knocks down three outs to switch sides. you don't look up when they walk to the dugout, afraid of catching san's eyes again. you don't look up until you hear the announcer call san's name, watching his back as he walks to the plate. through your headset, you can hear the commentators upstairs in the press box listing off his accomplishments at past teams, painting him in this otherworldly light. he's a superstar for a reason, his stats show that, and the way they're talking about him upstairs shows that everyone is captivated by him.
the pitcher, not intimidated by the silver slugger he's facing, sets up his first pitch. it's a curveball, somewhere in the 80 mph range, and it looks like it's gonna be a ball. but san is confident, his stance strong, his shoulders poised just so, and you watch in amazement as he rears back and completely shreds it. the ball is gone before anyone knows what's happening, and your eyes stay locked on san as he rounds the bases. when he approaches first, he looks directly at you, pointing in your direction as he turns at the bag. your heart is racing, you notice, and you shake off your surprise so you can describe the hit in your already cramped notes.
the rest of the game is exciting, but nothing matches san's leadoff homer. you could tell that lit the team up, an enthusiasm in every at bat, every play. your team wins, by a lot, and you go through the motions of finding players and coaches to interview for the post-game show as fans file out and the grounds crew comes in. the one person you're hoping to snag is nowhere to be seen, though.
by the time you're done with your work on the field, the post-game conference is already over. you're not sure if san gave a quote there and that's why you missed him on the field, but you don't care. the team won't mind, so you make your way to the locker room to find the man who's been running laps through your head all day.
san knows as soon as you enter the locker room that you're looking for him. he's showered and dressed in his outside clothes, his jersey neatly folded on the bench beside him as you approach.
"hey ace," he greets you. "some game huh?"
"it was good," you nod. "nice hit."
"glad you liked it," he replies cockily. "did it for you."
"can i quote you on that?" you ask, and san chuckles.
"come on doll, why the cold shoulder? i did what you asked, i helped your team win. figured that would get me on your good side."
"i just need a quote about that hit," you stand your ground. "i'm risking my innocence the longer i stay here, so if you could just say something arrogant on the record, i'll be on my way."
san can tell something is up, so he returns your formality with some of his own. you're in and out in less than five minutes, heading to the press room to collect your thoughts before you shoot your editor a text about your incoming story. as you stand there typing, you hear someone come up behind you so you start walking toward the exit.
"y/n, wait," san calls, and you want to walk faster. you want to leave and not look back, but he adds a quiet, "please." and you take a deep breath before you turn.
"what's up?" you ask. "i've got a deadline."
"you left this," san says simply, offering you the folded jersey from his locker. "i...whatever. it was my jersey from this game. i want you to have it."
"what?" you're shocked, aware of how much it costs for a player to give away a game worn jersey. it may not be much to san in the long run, but still. it softens your heart and you take it wordlessly, searching for something to say in thanks.
"well," san sighs. "see you tomorrow."
"san, wait!" you call before he can get too far. he looks back at you hopefully, and you jog to catch up with him. "why..." as you trail off, you look up to him and find an unreadable look on his face. "sorry for being a dick earlier, i just-"
"no worries," he shakes his head. "i get it, the season changes things, so-"
"did you take me out the other night to pay me back for helping you at the bar?" you ask what you've been wondering for a few days now. "because, i don't know. i thought we...or i, um, i felt...something. and when you dropped me off, it was like you changed."
"changed how?"
"before that, i thought you were into me," you try to say nonchalantly. "but after..."
"you think i'm not into you now?" he asks sadly, and you nod. "check your facts, ace. i think it's the opposite."
"well i wasn't sure-"
"you want me to prove it?" san asks, taking a step closer to you. "or you got a story you need to get back to?"
"i have time," you whisper, looking in his eyes. they're darker, more serious, a little hooded. that tension you felt the other night is back, and it takes your breath away briefly.
"come with me," san's tugging your hand, dragging you along behind him as he leads you outside. a quick scan of the parking lot tells him you're alone, so he rushes you to his car. again, he helps you in, rushing to toss his things in the back. you're sitting there, his jersey gripped in one hand and your notebook in the other. when he opens his door, you mumble something about your stuff, but he cuts you off. "you can get it tomorrow, ace. i'm taking you home now."
"but my keys-"
"i'm taking you to my place," he cuts you off again, looking to you as he starts the car. "there a problem?
"no," you reply meekly, and san is satisfied. he drives like a madman to his place, not far from the stadium. he parks in the deck below, bringing you with him to an elevator close by. he punches the button to his floor before he pounces, cupping your face to crash his lips into yours.
"can't believe you thought i didn't want you," he grumbles, dragging his hands to your neck, down your arms, to grip your waist. "ridiculous." he kisses you again, pulling you by the waist out of the elevator into his hallway. he only detaches from you to find his keys, hands steady as he undoes the lock. he pulls you inside and doesn't give you a chance to look around, capturing your lips in a kiss again. you finally drop your stupid notebook, embarrassed that you've been holding onto it this whole time. you start to let go of his jersey too, but he stops you. "what are you doing, ace? told you i've been thinking about you wearing my jersey."
"what-"
"put it on, baby," he coaxes you, his hands guiding yours. "let's get you out of this librarian dress and into something a little sexier."
"san, slow down," you say breathlessly, following him into his apartment. he collapses on the couch, watching you with that same fire in his eyes from earlier. "what now?"
"change," he replies. "put the jersey on."
"not fair," you pout. "i'm gonna be naked and i don't even get to see you shirtless?"
san tears his shirt off in record time, sitting back with a challenging look on his face.
"your turn, doll."
with shaky hands, you undo the zipper to your dress, letting it fall as san lets out a hiss of air. you slide your arms into the jersey, amazed that it still smells like his cologne after a game in the sun. you kind of flop your arms out after that, like a 'what now?' and san pats his thigh.
"sit," he commands.
"what?"
"you ask a lot of questions."
"it's my job," you quip back, and san lets his head fall back in a laugh.
"you said you had a thing for thighs, baby. figured you'd be jumping at the chance to ride mine."
spurred on by adrenaline and the growing pit of excitement in your stomach, you do as he says, straddling his thigh as you drape your arms over his broad shoulders.
"what now?" you whisper into his ear, nipping just beneath it to drive him insane. his hands return to your waist, and whispering into your ear, he says, "ride me, doll."
you grind against his thigh, sucking in a breath at the friction. you take it at your own pace, going slow so you don't overwhelm your senses. san's warm skin under your hands, his scent surrounding you, it's intoxicating. you let your hips move on their own accord, picking up speed as the pressure in your core builds. you let out a breathy moan when he bounces his leg, and his grip on your waist tightens.
"how's it feel, baby?" he asks, watching you intently.
"good, san, feels good."
"then go faster," he smirks. "might feel even better." you do, gasping as a hand leaves your waist to trace over your bra. his hand dips beneath the fabric, pulling a breast free before moving to the next cup to do the same. both of his hands find your chest, tweaking your nipples as he watches you unravel above him. "how's it feel now?"
"i'm close," you whine, hips jerking as your core gets too sensitive. you try to stand, to move things along, but san grabs onto your ass and guides you against his thigh.
"if you're close then why are you running away?" he chuckles. "show me how good it feels, ace."
"fuck," you whisper, grinding against him harder. "i'm almost there, but i-i can't, san, need more. need your fingers."
"you do?" he pouts. "i don't think you've earned it."
"i have," you whine, squeezing his thigh between yours. "fuck. if you don't do it i will."
"show me," he challenges, and you stand before he can stop you. you take your panties off, tossing them somewhere before sitting back down on his thigh. you cry out at the new contact, your arousal ruining his pants. you look down and see just how much you're dripping onto his leg, moaning as san guides you faster. you pop two fingers into your mouth and then reach down to rub your clit, crying out as you come.
"fuck, san," you moan, hips sputtering over him as you chase your high. "jesus." you let your head fall to his shoulder, your hand stilling at your core as you catch your breath.
"so dirty, baby," he whispers, brushing your hair away from your neck to trail kisses across your skin. his jersey has fallen from your shoulder, so he takes his time leaving a mark on the exposed skin as you come down. "you look real good in my jersey, making yourself feel good like that."
"what now?" you ask again, nipping at his ear.
"you ready so soon?" he asks. "so eager."
"i'm afraid you're gonna come in your pants," you whisper in his ear. "don't wanna ruin the fun before it even starts."
you shriek then, feeling san lift you like it's nothing. he kicks his bedroom door open before dropping you on the bed, taking a minute to admire you splayed out on his sheets as he undoes his pants. you're still breathless, watching him undress, and you feel your breath catch when he pulls his cock free.
"what, don't think you can handle it?" san asks, tearing a condom packet open with his teeth. "gotta say, i'd be disappointed."
"try me."
san crawls over you next, trapping your hands in his as he drags them above your head. he holds them in place as he guides his cock to your core, slapping it against your clit teasingly. you moan, hips bucking to chase the feeling. he keeps teasing you though, coating his cock in your arousal.
"so wet for me, baby," he groans. "are you like this when i play?"
"no," you grit your teeth. "san, please-"
"please what, baby?" he asks, stopping completely. his tip is pressed to your entrance, but he's not moving, and you squirm beneath him. "use your words, pretty girl. you get this wet when you see me?"
"when i think about fucking you, yeah," you respond honestly.
"and how often is that? just ballpark."
"sometimes."
"every day?" he asks, pressing his tip past your walls. he won't give you more than that, so you whimper, and he smirks. "tell me."
"since we kissed," you admit, wishing you could hide your blushing cheeks.
"aw, baby's been desperate that long?" he tsks. "i'm sorry, doll. didn't know you wanted me that bad."
"just fuck me, san."
"ask me."
"huh?"
"ask me how often i think about fucking you," he replies with a shit eating grin.
"how often?"
he thrusts into you, pulling a moan from deep within your chest. he leans down and kisses you, biting your bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away. then he whispers, thrusting with each word, "every single day."
he keeps thrusting into you, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. you moan into his mouth, whining his name, and you twist away long enough to ask, "let go of my hands. wanna touch you."
he lets you go, and your hands grip his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin. he groans, egging you on, and you drag your nails down his back as you say, "your shoulders."
"what?"
"your shoulders. they drive me insane," you admit. "catchers have nice thighs, sure, but, fuck, you're built like a god."
"a god?" he smiles, and you can tell you're gonna regret saying that. "what else drives you insane?"
"hm, everything about you?" you reply. "you're infuriating."
"and you're close already," he smirks. "i can feel you clenching around me, baby. this feels good too?"
"so good," you nod. "can i come?"
"wait," he hisses, pulling out as you whine. "patience, baby. wanna try something else."
you let san move you how he wants, sitting up further on his bed as he props your legs open. he slides his hands beneath your legs, almost folding you in half as he cups your head. he moves you so you can see your dripping pussy, shining in the low light of his room.
"help me out, ace," he says, and with shaky hands you guide him back to your entrance. he thrusts, both of you watching as he enters you, and you moan in sync as he thrusts all the way in. he stills for a moment, loving the way you clench around him, and he speeds up, fucking you so fast you can't catch your breath. "shit. look at you, taking me so well."
"can i come now?" you whine, but he shakes his head again. "san!"
"wait for me, baby," he insists, thrusting faster. you can barely take it, but then his hips jerk, and you know he's close. "now, come on my cock, fuck-"
"san, oh my god," you cry out, bucking forward until your forehead is pressed against his, watching as you come around him. you feel him come with you, and you stay trapped in his hold as he slows down. he kisses you softly before he lets go, his hands carding through your hair as he helps you lay down.
"be right back," he whispers, kissing your forehead before he disappears. he comes back with water and a wet washcloth, handing you the cool glass as he cleans you up. you hand it back to him when he's done so he can take a sip, and then he leaves again to toss the condom. he collapses back into bed when he returns, immediately pulling you into his chest as he nuzzles his head into your neck. "can't believe you'd think i didn't want you, doll."
"this might be the first time anyone's proved me wrong," you tease, yelping when you feel him bite your skin. "mean!" he moves to lay his chin on your chest, looking up at you with warmth in his eyes. you brush some of his sweaty hair from his forehead as he speaks.
"do you wanna stay the night?" he asks. "please say yes. but if you don't want to, give me a minute and i can drive you home. but i really want you to stay."
"i'll stay," you nod, cupping his cheek as you stare at him. "you're really handsome, you know?"
"am i?" he smiles. "tell me more."
"that's all you get," you say as you flick his nose, and he scoots up the bed to lay his head next to yours. you're both quiet for a minute, thoughts flooding your head. you don't realize you're frowning until san whines.
"what's that face for?" he pouts, propping himself up on his arm as he stares down at you. "you want to go home."
"no, i'm just thinking," you pout back.
"about?"
"what will the team say if they see our walk of shame?"
"about time," he replies, kissing you before he lays back down. "i talk about you all the time, so i'm sure they'll be thrilled to know i finally got some."
"you're sick," you giggle, pinching him. "but maybe you should go in first. just to be safe."
"whatever you want ace," he hums, looking at you again. "you gonna sleep in my jersey, or can i give you another shirt to wear?"
-
despite your exhaustion from your night with san, you still had a story to write. it wasn't yet midnight, so after san gave you a shirt to sleep in you stayed up, furiously typing on your phone to get the story done in time. you thought san had fallen asleep beside you, his quiet breathing providing a sort of metronome to keep you focused. but as you got to a certain point in your story, you realized you need your notebook. you can't remember where it might be, so you try to quietly slip out of bed and go looking.
"come back to bed," san grumbles, making you jump.
"i thought you were asleep," you whisper, looking at him from the doorway. the sheets have pooled around his waist, and his chest is flushed. you wish you could just lay down with him, rest your head on his warm chest, and fall into the deepest sleep. but you've never filed a story late, and you're not interested in doing so tonight.
"i'm not going to sleep till you do," he answers, rubbing his eyes. he pulls the sheets away and slides out of bed himself, shuffling toward the door after you.
"what are you doing?" you ask, taking a step back.
"if you leave me alone in here i might die," he says seriously. "you looking for your notebook? i put it on my coffee table," he explains, placing his hand at the small of your back while he guides you through his apartment. you barely have a second to grab it from the table before san is pulling you down onto the couch with him, locking you in his hold on his lap.
"um, san?" you ask. "i need my arms." he groans as he loosens his grip, and you try to scoot over to take up the ample space left on the couch.
"uh uh," he shakes his head, looking at you with sleepy eyes. "you're staying right here until you finish."
"but you'll distract me," you pout, which san tries to kiss away.
"distract you, or motivate you to hurry up so we can go to sleep?"
"fine," you sigh, getting comfortable in his lap as you prop your notebook open on his chest. "keep that there for me."
"yes ma'am," he mumbles, closing his eyes as you work. you flip through a few pages and find what you were looking for, trying to concentrate on transcribing the quote, but it's hard. you're not comfortable, so you keep shifting. san's hands tighten around you, but you ignore it. just a few more minutes and you'll be done, but damn, is your leg cramping? you try to move again, but end up yelping when you feel san pinch your thighs. "baby," he whines. "stop moving. i'm getting hard."
"jesus, really?" you ask, shifting again to see for yourself. "oh hello there."
"stop," san chuckles, looking at you with hooded eyes. "are you almost done?"
"i've got a few more sentences, then i need to proofread it," you reply. "so kinda."
"alright," he nods. "keep working, ace." so you do, reading back a few lines to catch your train of thought. you frown though, feeling san's hands trail up your thighs to play with the material of your panties.
"san, stop," you tell him. "you're being a distraction."
"ah, no i'm not," he says, cupping you in his hold as he sits forward. he fidgets with something for a minute before resting back against the cushions, and you gasp when you feel his cock against you. "i'm motivating you, remember?"
"san, what are you doing-"
"just keep working baby," he coos, pulling your panties to the side before sliding his cock through your folds. "want you to sit on it until you finish."
"funny," you twist his nipple, and he hisses.
"ah, no pun intended," he smiles, "but happy coincidence. come on, i'm bored, and if i don't do this i'll fall asleep."
"then sleep! i won't be able to focus with you...in me."
"try," san kisses you, sitting back with a smirk. "i believe in you baby. now keep working."
you look at the time and groan, because you don't have time to argue with him. you watch as he lifts your hips and sinks into you, letting out a shaky breath once your hips are slotted against his. he keeps his eyes on you, taking in every wince, every jolt, every bite of your lip to stop from whimpering. you feel so full, and san is so warm, and you can't focus but you're almost done-
"read the story to me," san says next, breaking through your thoughts once again.
"hold on," you say, completing the final sentence before you scroll back to the top. "on the record i think you're insane."
"that's a weird way to start an article about baseball," san smirks, so you roll your hips to get him to shut up. you start reading your story, and he listens like he's hooked on every word. at the first mention of his name, he lifts you up slightly before bringing your hips back down and you stutter on your words. "come on ace, keep reading."
"fuck you," you breathe out.
"you are," he smirks again, and you grit your teeth as you continue. you speed through the story, but san keeps slowly fucking you as you go. you find a typo and he stills while you fix it, but as you get to the end he picks up speed. when you finally read the last word, you place a hand on his chest and he stops again.
"let me send this to my editor, please, and then you can keep defiling me," you beg.
"i learn so many new words being around you," san jokes, but you're not listening. you manage to send the story at 11:59 exactly, and you toss your phone away before grabbing onto san's shoulders.
"you need a hobby or something," you get out between moans as he starts fucking you again. "fuck. feel so full, san."
"yeah?" he sighs. "you feel incredible. so tight, so warm for me."
"shit, you're not wearing a condom," you realize. "get out."
"hold on," he whines. "i'll pull out. just give me a minute. are you close?"
"very confident in your skills," you point out. "we haven't been fucking that long."
"but i can feel you dripping around me," he says, pinching your hips. "feel you squeezing me. i know you're loving this baby."
"i'm almost there," you fess up, rolling your hips against him to get some more friction. he brings a hand around to your core, his thumb tracing over your clit so teasingly it's driving you insane. you collapse in his hold, your head resting against his shoulder as you let out breathy moans. he slows down, just to tease you more, and you bite his shoulder.
"ow!"
"keep going," you groan against his skin. "gonna come, fuck-" and you feel your high crash into you, hips jerking against san's as you come. you're quick to hop off of him, which he protests, but you sit before him on your knees as you stroke his cock. he's got to be close, so you bring his tip to your lips to suck him into your mouth. he lets go almost immediately, gasping above you as he comes into your mouth. as soon as he's done, he pulls you off of him with a huff.
"show me, doll," he rasps, and you stick your tongue out to show him his release. you swallow most of it, some drips sneaking past your lips so you sit up and wipe them off on the edge of his boxers, still caught around his knees. "hey!"
"you can deal," you tell him, standing with his help. your legs are shaky, and the exhaustion is really hitting you now. "come on, let's go to bed before you keep us up all night."
-
for the next week or so, you and san fall into a habit of going home with each other after each game. the first two series of the season are at home, so it makes things easy for you. you don't have to talk about what you are to san or vice versa, it's just understood that any free time you have will be spent with each other.
you're getting nervous, though, because the first away series is this weekend. you're strictly a local reporter, so you don't travel with the team. you'll report solely based on what the broadcast team on site is saying, or by bugging the team with phone calls. a little piece of you is nervous that san will fall back into his superstar ways, because he did have a reputation before coming here for having...friends...in every city. you try to push that feeling away for now, but it keeps nagging you at the worst times.
like now, san has cornered you in the clubhouse, kissing you in between questions for your next story and all you can think about is the trip this weekend. you're trying to focus on the story, really. the team is on an unbeaten streak, and some of the guys have cited san as the reason for that. word around the team is that his energy and passion for the game has made them better. you're trying to get something heartfelt out of him, but he's distracted.
"baby, i'm doing some of my best work here," he mumbles against your lips. "can't the questions wait?"
"i'm on a deadline san, you know that," you say as you put your hand on his chest and push back. "two more questions, and then i'm all yours."
"fine," he sighs, taking a step back. his hands stay on your waist as you talk, his thumbs rubbing your skin beneath your shirt. you're able to get what you need, so you stop the recording on your phone and put it away.
"you know, if anyone ever hears those, i'd be fired," you tell him as you drape your arms over his shoulders.
"good thing i'm loaded," san smirks. "i can buy their silence and you can keep your job."
"you know i used to be a clean reporter?" you pinch his neck. "you're really blurring my ethical lines here."
"i won't tell if you don't," he whispers, kissing you again. you stay like that, lips locked together, until a buzzing in san's pocket interrupts you. "ah, i should get that."
"who's calling? you don't have friends," you tease him, your uneasy mind wondering if it's one of his usuals from out of state.
"it's the equipment team," he explains, "they've never packed my stuff for an away trip before so they want to confirm before they ship out."
san answers the call, but keeps a protective arm hooked around you so you can't leave. you distract yourself with a stray thread on his shirt as he talks, and when he hangs up he places his hand over yours.
"whatcha thinking about, ace?"
"when do you leave for the series this weekend?" you ask nonchalantly, avoiding his gaze.
"day after tomorrow," he replies. "i figured we'd get an off day here, but they want us to come in for an extra practice to stay sharp."
"gotta keep that win streak going on the road," you tell him. "like you promised."
"exactly," he smiles. "so when will you leave?"
"huh?"
"for the series," san asks in an equally confused tone. "you're coming with us, right?"
"i don't travel with the team," you shake your head. "so i'll be here, wasting away."
"aw, you're gonna miss me," san coos, pulling you into his side as he walks you down the hall. "guess i gotta fit in as much y/n time as i can before i go."
"seems like it," you give him a tightlipped smile before pulling away. "i gotta go back out to the field, i'm doing a report in a few minutes. so i'll text you when i'm done?"
"sure," he nods, kissing your forehead before you go.
-
you went back to your apartment at the end of the day, tired and mind racing. you're not even dating san, why are you so concerned about what he might get up to on this road trip? you try to busy yourself until san comes by with dinner, so you're in the middle of washing dishes when there's a knock at your door. you let san in, stepping to the side in your small entryway to let him through. it leaves him standing incredibly close to you as you close the door, but once the space is cleared he stays where he is.
"you can come in, weirdo," you laugh. "do you need me to move?"
"no hug? no kiss?" he complains, pouting his lips as if waiting for a smooch.
"my hands are wet," you say as you hold them up, "so no hug, but-" you stand on your toes and aim a kiss perfectly on top of lips, spinning around quickly after to go back to the kitchen. "put everything on the coffee table, i'll get plates."
you walk into your living room to find a feast laid out for you. how'd you miss san carrying in so much food? you place plates down for you both, sitting next to san so your thighs touch. he piles food on your plate as you tell him about the rest of your day, but when he keeps going you make him stop.
"do you think i never eat?" you laugh. "why the mountain of food?"
"i'll be out of town for a while," he shrugs. "gotta make sure you're taken care of before i go."
"right," you nod. "thank you, but this is plenty."
"want me to feed it to you?" he asks with a sappy look on his face, but you know he's serious.
"i'll kick you out if you even try."
"then what about you feeding me?"
"are you excited for the first road trip of the year?" you change the subject.
"i am," he says slowly. "not much to see there, though, so it'll be a boring trip. especially if you're not coming..."
"can't," you remind him. "the big man won't allow it."
"but let's say, i don't know, a player on the team had an extra ticket to the game...then what?"
"huh?" you look at him confused. "what are you saying?"
"if i told you i got you a ticket to the game, would you come?" he asks sincerely. he grabs your hand and squeezes, saying, "i need my good luck charm there."
"san, i don't know," you shake your head. "how would i get there? where would i stay?"
"you could travel with the other wives and girlfriends," he answers. "apparently it's a whole big trip, they do this every year for the first away series."
"but i'm not a wife or a girlfriend," you tell him. "i'm a reporter."
"then why don't you leave the notebook at home and just come to the game as my girlfriend?"
"your girlfriend?" you smile. "i think i can do that."
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sugarnspice630 · 3 months
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Jealousy is the Best Form of Punishment - Yunho + San
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"Darling, you know how when we’re hanging around the guys and I, softly place my hand around your neck? Have you ever noticed that San can’t stop staring at you when we do this?”
•pairing: dom!yunho x sub!fem!reader + sub!san
•word count: 1.5 k
•tags: mdni, suggestive, choking kink out the wazoo (f receiving), San's a little horn-ball, Yunho is a jealous boyfriend, praise kink, slight degradation, sex implied but not written out, lots of eye contact, voyeurism
Summary: Yunho teases reader by slightly choking them while hanging around the members, San can't control his eyes and Yunho notices, causing him to drag the both of you into his room and teaching him and you a lesson.
A/N: Inspired by this post I saw from my dear friend @shinestarhwaa (ily pookie!) Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆───
It started out as an innocent joke. Yunho would gently place his hand on your neck when around the members and occasionally give it a slight squeeze. Nothing too harsh, just a firm grip to cause you to get dizzy for a few seconds. Since he has naturally big hands, his fingers would reach perfectly around the sides, applying pressure to your sweet spots. Yunho knew you were into choking, and damn was he good at it. San was not oblivious to these minor gestures. He saw how flushed your cheeks would get every time his hand came near your neck, and that look of bliss on your face when he applied the slightest pressure to your neck. Although you were happily taken by Yunho and had been for a long time, San couldn’t help the thoughts he had about you since you first started hanging around the members more often. He thought you were very attractive, and the looks on your face when Yunho would jokingly choke you definitely did not help his situation. On the flip side, Yunho saw San’s reactions every time he did that to you. The way his eyes fleeted back and forth between his hand wrapped around your neck and watching the expression on your face morph, softly biting the inside of his lip and his eyes darkening. Yunho is most definitely the jealous type, so he would lightly choke you every chance he could get to show San that you belonged to him and no one else.
Yunho got home one day and found San sitting on the couch, playing his video games. He was going to confront San peacefully about his observations.
“San, can I talk to you for a second?” Yunho said in a monotone voice with no expression on his face.
“Sure hyung! I’ll be there in a sec.” San replied as he was finishing up the round he was playing. Yunho nodded softly and walked into his bedroom. When Yunho walked in, he saw you sitting on his bed, playing on your phone. You looked up at him with a big smile. Sitting your phone on the bed, you got up and wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him.
“Hey handsome! What are you doing back so early?” Yunho placed his finger over your lips to silence you with a soft “shh” coming out of his mouth. Your eyebrows contorted, and you looked up at him, confused.
“Baby, I’m about to do something and I need you to not get mad or upset about it. Okay?”
Confused as hell by what he could be doing, you softly nodded your head, still with a confused expression on your face, trusting Yunho that you would be in good hands (haha). Not too long after your brief conversation, San walks in.
“Everything alright hyun-?” San stops his sentence when he sees you in the room, as well as Yunho. “Y-Y/N! I didn’t know you were here!” San’s expression becomes nervous as he looks at Yunho. His throat becomes dry, and he swallows his spit to try and alleviate it. Fumbling with his hands, San finally opens his mouth again. “W-what did you need me for Yun-?”
“Sit down.” Yunho barks at San and tilts his head toward the chair in his room. San nods a few times before making his way over to the chair, his eyes not leaving you or Yunho. You turn to Yunho and notice the slight angry expression on his face. Your heart sinks down into your stomach at the cold expression he’s giving.
"Yunho, what’s going on?"
“Quiet Y/N.” Yunho pauses for just a moment, glaring at San one more time before turning to you, placing his hands on your hips, and turning you to face him. “San thinks it’s all fine and dandy to stare at something that isn’t his.” Your eyes go between staring at his right eye and his left eye. Yunho’s eyes darkening as you keep staring at each other. “Darling, you know how when we’re hanging around the guys and I, softly place my hand around your neck?” Yunho’s movements follow his words, acting out his speech. Your heart rate increases slightly as Yunho’s hand gets closer to your neck. You dare not break eye contact with Yunho right now. “Giving you the gentlest of squeezes, right on your sweet spots? Causing you to see a hint of stars?”
Yunho’s eyes glance over at San, and he can see the younger member struggling to keep himself together. Harshly biting his lip, his legs crossed to hide the slight erection forming in his pants, gripping the arms of the chair so hard that his knuckles are white. Yunho smirks and directs his attention back to you. Your cheeks are perfectly flushed and eyes droopy just the slightest bit.
“I asked you a question. It’s nice to respond, you know?” Yunho grips your neck a little tighter, causing your mouth to drop open and let out the softest whimper.
“Y-Yes Yunho! I-I’m sorry! I know what you mean."
“Good girl~. Have you ever noticed that San can’t stop staring at you when we do this?”
Completely forgetting that San was also in the room with you guys, you softly turn your head as much as Yunho’s hand would let you and see San struggling to stay still. His foot is now bouncing up and down, legs still crossed, but one of his hands has left the arm of the chair and is now placed in his lap, right where his crotch would be. Fidgeting like a nervous dog.
“Princess! Stop ignoring my questions!” Yunho’s booming voice echoed in your ears, causing you to turn back to him quickly.
“S-sorry! Y-Yes I have noticed!” Yunho inches closer to your face, leaning in toward your ear.
“How does that make you feel~?" You had to think for a moment because in all honesty, it made you feel good, but how could you tell Yunho that? You were beyond thrilled when he started to show more risque public displays of affection around the members. You wanted to know what they really thought of you. How many of them secretly liked you or what they would do to you behind closed doors when Yunho wasn’t there to claim you for himself?
“M-makes me feel good sir!” You closed your eyes in fear of what his reaction would be to your honesty.
“Good huh?” He paused for a few seconds to let your answer sink in. “Didn’t think my girlfriend was such an attention-seeking whore."
The grip around your neck tightens and your arms wrap around and come up Yunho’s back and grip onto the shirt he’s wearing. You tilt your head back and let out a choked moan. The sensation of him squeezing your airways shut was so intoxicating and you genuinely could never get enough of it. The thought of Yunho being in control of your breathing drove you insane. His grip around your neck loosens, and you take a deep breath. Eyes opening up to see Yunho smirking menacingly at you. You don’t break eye contact for a few seconds until Yunho looks back over at San and sees what a mess he’s becoming. Yunho chuckles softly and turns your head for you to look at him.
“What a mess he’s becoming, and it’s all because of you. Isn’t that so special~?” You can’t help but notice San is now rutting his hips into his hand, trying to provide some stimulation in his situation. His lip appears red and swollen because of how hard he’s been biting it this whole time. His face is lightly covered in sweat and he’s breathing heavily.
“Fuck…d-don’t look at me like that Y/N, p-please.” He mutters out, his eyes focused on you staring at him in his desperate state. His eye twitches, and he pants out as he continues to push his hips into his hand.
“S-San.” You calling out his name caused him to whimper softly and lean forward a bit to try to get closer to what he was seeing in front of him. Seeing him act like this sent a wave of heat down to your core. You never knew he was this down bad for you.
“He so desperately wants to cum. Do you think we should let him?”
“W-We?” You stutter out, surprised that Yunho is giving you an option. Looking back at San, you can see him nodding his head profusely and whispering ‘please’ a thousand times. “Yes Yunho.” You say while staring at San, and you watch as his eyes light up and he quickly unzips his pants and whips his dick out. Before you could look any harder at San’s cock, Yunho pushes you down on the bed and sits his weight on top of you. His hair falls gently over his face, and his expression gets darker.
“He can deal with himself over there, but now I have to deal with you for acting like a whore all the fucking time.” He growls through gritted teeth as he unzips his and your pants, pulls yours down along with your underwear, and does the same for him. Pinning your hands above your head and holding them together with one of his massive hands. You knew you were in for a night of trouble.
Tags: @pre1ttyies @isiloiale
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zukkook · 1 year
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sunburn — choi san
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summary | you had your fun at the beach, enjoyed the warm sunlight and the calming sound of the waves. but now you're tired and your back hurts, so a nap is the only thing on your mind... not for your boyfriend though. he just wants attention.
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pairing | choi san x reader genre | fluff, suggestive, established relationship word count | 2.4k warnings | mentions of sex, a little spicy but no actual smut
a/n: yes, this was in fact a hundred percent inspired by me forgetting to put sunscreen on before going to spend 2+ hours at the beach.
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The voices and laughter coming from the kitchen are muffled by the closed door of the room you are in. You went in there earlier, after telling your friends that you would like to rest for a bit and to only bother you once the food is ready. Truthfully, you do feel bad about not offering a hand with lunch and, on any other occasion, you would be more than willing to get up and help. But after spending the morning at the beach with no sunscreen on, your back and your shoulders are scorching red and any slight movement hurts like hell. So you opted for lying on your front on the single bed of the room you and San were assigned, hoping for the burning sensation to let up. Luckily, your friends were very understanding, and Seonghwa even offered to bring you a plate when they are done cooking so you don’t have to move much, but you refused.
You have no clue how long you have been in there, especially with how you keep dozing off. With Mingi’s boisterous laugh resonating in every corner of the house, you thought you wouldn’t get much rest. But turns out you were awfully wrong, considering all of the noise coming from outside does nothing but act as a peculiar lullaby.
Not even the sound of the door opening is enough to make you raise your head from the pillow. At least not until someone drops all of their weight on top of you, making you both bounce slightly on the mattress.
There is no need to ask who it is or to turn around to see for yourself because you already know the answer. The way they are tightly hugging your waist while shamelessly burying their face between your shoulder blades is a dead giveaway. Only a couple of people in the entire house would dare to do such a thing without a care in the world. And considering you can hear Wooyoung screeching outside, that only leaves one suspect.
But knowing who it is doesn’t stop you from groaning. The sensation of cloth brushing against your burning shoulders is too uncomfortable to bear, yet the person on top of you seems to be too focused on rubbing his cheek against your back to notice you are in pain.
“San,” you mumble.
“Mhm?”
Even though you can’t see him, and even when no actual words come from his mouth, you know he is smiling. You can hear it in the pleased tone of his voice.
“My back.”
“What?” He asks, slightly raising his head from your back to look at the side of your face.
“My back,” you repeat a bit louder.
San furrows his brows instead of answering, still not fully comprehending what you are trying to say. It takes him no more than a few seconds to separate his head from your back and glance downwards. When he finally notices the reddish skin along your body his eyes widen and he hurries to get off of you.
“Oh my God!” He exclaims. “I’m so sorry, baby! I forgot.”
He lies on his front right next to you, mirroring your form. The bed is way too small for the both of you to be resting on it at a comfortable distance, but you have been sharing it since your group arrived at the summer house a couple of days ago, so you are used to it by now. It was clear from the start that there were not enough beds for everyone, so some special arrangements had to be made. These arrangements ended with some people sleeping in the living room, taking all over the couches, and a poor Mingi having no other choice but to lie on the floor. No couch was big enough for him anyway. The rest ended up sharing the few beds available, landing you with a single bed in the smallest room of the house. Initially, San was going to share one of the couches in the living room with Wooyoung. But after the other boy pushed him in his sleep and sent him down to the floor during the first night there, San sneaked inside your room and asked if he could share the bed with you. And of course, you said yes.
A soft laugh makes its way out of your lips while you turn your head on the pillow to rest your gaze on his worried one.
“It’s okay, Sannie. You didn’t do it on purpose.”
The worry in his eyes blurs into sympathy when he leans forward to place a delicate kiss on your shoulder, trying his best not to let the simple action hurt you in any way. The softness behind his moves is enough to make a faint smile appear on your lips. He always treats you like this, like you are deserving of every bit of love he has to give. Like you are the most beautiful piece of art he has ever laid eyes on. But even after his countless shows of affection, his tenderness never fails to take you by surprise, making the butterflies in your stomach come alive every single time.
When he leans back, he drops his head on the little bit of space left on the pillow you are using. As a consequence, his face is now resting centimeters away from yours. At this distance, you can feel every warm breath he lets out, smell the sweetness of his cologne and see even the tiniest of moles adorning his cheeks.
By the time you become aware of the way his eyes travel down your face to rest at a certain spot, he is moving again. The arm that was stuck between both of your bodies is now sneaking around your lower back, sliding across it until it wraps around your waist. Meanwhile, his leg finds its way between your legs, tangling them together and allowing him to slightly caress the exposed skin there with the inside of his foot.
“Is this okay?” He asks. His voice is low and soft against your face.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
Neither of you say much after that, basking in the comfortable silence that forms between you two. From time to time, San leans forward again to leave more of those tender kisses on your exposed shoulder, while simultaneously rubbing any non-burnt skin he can find with the hand resting on your waist. His gentle ministrations, combined with the sound of the softened chatting in the kitchen, relax you enough to have you dozing off again.
But before your mind can shut down completely, he opens his mouth.
“Baby.”
“Mhm?”
He is pressing his lips against your shoulder, unable to stop the sweet kisses before the words sputter out of his mouth.
“Would I be too much of an ass if I asked you to have sex with me right now?”
His eyes are barely open, looking up at you lazily. It seems like he has been dozing off as well.
“What the hell, San?” You snort, not sure how to react, but still feel the laughter threatening to escape from the back of your throat.
San’s brows furrow as he leans back from your shoulder, his head hovering over the pillow.
“What? You were running around all day in that new bikini you bought. What did you expect from me?” 
He pouts as he finally lets his head rest fully on the pillow. You don’t realize he is actually trying to hide his face on it until he continues talking, this time at an even lower volume, as if he were about to confess to something embarrassing.
“You looked hot. I got turned on…”
Your eyes widen as you can’t hold it in anymore and a rather wild laugh escapes you, your whole body shaking from the force of it and taking away the little sleep that remained in you.
“San!”
Trying to hide the sudden blush that takes over his cheeks, San fully buries his face in the pillow this time. The action is futile though: you’ve already noticed the warmth on them as well as the grin that takes over his face, toeing the line between a shy smile and a straight-up smirk.
“I’m sorry!” He laughs, the sound coming off muffled.
He eventually becomes brave enough to take a peek at your face, his short black fringe tousled by the pillow. He is relieved to see that you are not mad at his previous words but amused by them instead.
But suddenly your brows furrow, and San sees the exact moment something seems to click in your head.
“Wait a minute,” you say. His smile fades at your abrupt seriousness and gets replaced by a blank expression. “Are you saying that you’ve been turned on this whole time?”
He stares at you with his eyes blinking at an irregular pace. His lips keep opening and closing again, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing escapes them in the end. He is short-circuiting. That is answer enough.
“Oh my God, San!” You explode in laughter again, half shocked, half amused. “The reason you came in here in the first place was because you wanted to fuck, wasn’t it?”
Once again, you don’t really need him to say anything. You already know the answer to that question, if the way he was touching you and kissing you earlier is anything to go by. Sure, San is a very touchy and affectionate person by nature. But considering you have been dating him for a couple of years now, you usually pride yourself in how effortlessly you can read him. It is rather easy to tell when his gentle caresses hide a different intention. The only reason you weren’t able to catch on to it faster this time probably has to do with the newly acquired sunburnt on your back and how tired you got from it.
Seeing that you aren’t actually mad at him, San lets himself relax again, allowing a smirk to take hold of his lips. He adjusts his position, tightening his hold on you and bringing his mouth back against the reddened skin of your shoulder.
“Would you get angry with me if I said yes?”
The warmth that comes with the brush of his lips against your skin extends to the rest of your body. It doesn’t matter that you are wearing shorts and a rather thin top, with most of your skin exposed for the world to see, because San’s heated touches are making your body temperature go up to the point that you are starting to feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
You shiver slightly when his lips start wandering further away from your shoulder and closer to the side of your neck. You have to move your head to allow him more space and he accepts it gladly, giggling softly into the crook of your neck before delivering several open mouthed kisses to the area.
“You’re cute when you get flustered.”
You can try and blame the sun for the color on your cheeks and the warmth of your skin, sure. But there is no one you can blame for the way your body keeps trembling every time his breath hits your neck. This time you can’t take it anymore.
It’s your turn to bury your face in the pillow.
“Please, stop!” You squeak.
San giggles again at your shy attitude, but still retreats from your neck and offers you a bit of space to breathe and calm down. Or as much space as the bed allows him at least.
You are not brave enough to admit it out loud, but you instantly miss the warmth that his lips provide you with.
“Sorry.”
You slowly turn your head to look at him, trying your best to ignore how your cheeks are still burning up.
“No, no. It’s okay. I just…” Amused by the whole situation, you laugh before you can say anything else, trying to put your thoughts in order before you continue. You can’t decide if San’s gentle strokes on the exposed skin of your waist are helping at all or only making things worse for you, but you push yourself to ignore them and keep going. “I tell you that I burned my back and that my shoulders hurt really bad, and the first thing you do is ask me to have sex with you?”
At your words, San lets out a laugh, his dimples showing. He closes his eyes and lowers his chin to his chest so he can rub the top of his head gently against your shoulder. The mass of smooth black hair shakes with the movement. It is at times like this that you can’t help but be reminded of a big, fluffy cat looking to be petted.
“Okay, I see where I went wrong there.”
When he brings his head back up, he stares directly into your eyes while his soft smile turns into a dark smirk.
“But I mean…” His eyes drop to your lips as he scoots a little bit closer. His lips barely touch yours as he keeps talking, forcing you to drop your very own gaze toward his mouth. “You know I’m never opposed to you riding me…”
Even with San’s lips so close to yours, you have to force yourself to take a deep breath. You didn’t realize that you had stopped breathing completely there, too entranced by his charming aura to worry about something so mundane.
You feel the hand on your waist tighten up for a second before it loosens up again.
“I do love it when you fuck yourself on my dick while I hold your hips so hard there are bruises there the next day.”
His sharp eyes are darker than ever, looking at you in that half-lidded way that never fails to drive you insane.
He is tempting you, to be honest. Tempting you to let go and say yes to anything that he asks of you without second thoughts. Because how can you not when he is giving you a gaze so heated it contrasts deeply with the fondness of his touch? That alone is a dangerous combination that can easily turn into a deadly one if it comes from San specifically. You can handle anyone else, turn them down without hesitation, but never San.
But just when you are about to give in to his proposal, a deafening knock at the door startles the both of you and cuts the tension. Seonghwa’s voice comes from the other side.
“You two better be fully dressed by the time I open this door or I’m not letting you eat even a single crumb!”
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stayteezdreams · 3 months
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Eggnog Confession
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Plot: While at a Christmas party, San drinks a little too much spiked Eggnog. Now he can't keep his thoughts, or secrets to himself.
Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of drinking/alcohol. Drunk!San. Drunk!Confession. Embarrassed San. "Spiked" Drink in reference to the eggnog being alcoholic without San's knowledge.
Words: 2.8k
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You grunted in frustration as you finally got to your apartment door. Your arm and shoulder was aching as San was leaning on you with nearly his full weight. He hummed Christmas songs under his breath as you pulled your key from your bag and unlocked your door.
At first you had every intention of taking him back to his dorm, but your place was closer, and you were already tired. Not just from the Christmas party, but the event in itself of taking care of a drunk San.
You wish you had learned he had drank so much eggnog earlier than you did. By the time you found him he was long-gone. After some pleading from the others who wished to stay at the party a little longer, you ended up being the one to take him home.
"Okay, come on."
San groaned as he drug his feet alongside you. As he mumbled something unintelligible, you frowned.
"What?"
Lifting his head, his hot breath fanned your ear as he spoke again. "You're so beautiful. You're always so beautiful."
You felt your heart rate spike at his words as you swallowed nervously. Shaking your head softly you led him to the couch and plopped him down.
He's drunk, his words don't mean anything.
"I'm gonna get you some water okay?"
He nodded as he grinned lazily, his eyes mostly shut and his face flushed pink. God how you wished you found him annoying rather than cute.
Bringing him back a glass of water, he reached out and cupped his hands around yours, keeping you from letting go of the glass as he drank from it. As you tried to remove your hands he whined, making you let out a soft chuckle.
"I'm not trying to take it, I just want my hands back."
"No. I want them."
"You want my hands?"
He nodded stiffly. "They're so soft."
Ignoring the way your stomach swirled, you let out a soft sigh.
He really just says whatever comes to mind doesn't he?
"You can have them later, but for now I need them."
He paused as he stared at you blankly, after blinking slowly, he nodded softly and let go.
After helping him take off his shoes and getting him a blanket you tried to get him to lie down, with much difficulty.
Kneeling on your knees by the couch you placed the blanket over him. "You'll feel better after you sleep."
"But I don't want to sleep, I want to stay with you!"
He probably doesn't even know who he's talking to at this point.
"We can talk in the morning."
"But that's so far away."
As he pouted, you couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped. Suddenly San leaned forward, his face mere inches from yours. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him in surprise.
"So pretty." He mumbled as he grinned crookedly at you, his eyes grazing across your features.
You swallowed stiffly as you gently pushed him to lie back against the couch.
If you knew you'd have to deal with this, you probably wouldn't have taken him home yourself. You already struggled with your feelings for San on a day-to-day basis. Now, hearing him say things to you you would die to hear, and knowing his drunken words probably aren't meant for you, only made your chest ache.
Seeing that San had settled down, you assumed he was finally giving in to sleep. You patted his knee softly as you began to rise.
"Would you date me?"
You froze as you looked back at him, startled by his widened and intense gaze. For a moment it appeared as though he was sober, but you knew better.
"What?"
"Would I make a good boyfriend?"
Your chest tightened as you softly nodded, your voice soft. "Yes, you would."
"So then why wont you date me?"
His voice was soft, and his gaze sad as he appeared almost heart-broken.
Who does he think I am? Is there some unrequited love he never told me about?
Your heart clenched at the thought of him loving someone like that. Of him aching about their rejection even when drunk. Were they always on his mind like this?
You smiled sadly down at him. "You haven't asked me."
San stared at you in silence for a moment before he muttered out a soft "Oh."
Before you could process it, he jumped forward, grabbing you by your wrist and dragged you down onto his lap.
Your widened eyes stared into his tired yet determined ones. You attempted to stand up, so you weren't sitting on him but he held you down.
"Will you go out with me?"
The tightness in your chest only worsened as you let out a soft shaky sigh. How long had you been imagining him asking you that? Only to hear him mutter it in drunken heartbreak at the thought of someone else.
What if the person he's thinking of heard him now? What if they were in your place instead? Would they reject him again? Or would they realize their mistake and accept him?
You smiled sadly at him as he continued to stare at you. "I'm not who you think I am San. These words aren't meant for me."
Even in San's drunken haze, he could sense the sadness in your words. His eyes focused on your face, on your features he knew so well.
Releasing one of your arms, he reached up and gently touched your face. His confusion only grew.
He frowned as he shook his head softly in confusion. "Aren't you Y/n?"
Feeling as though your heart stopped, you swallowed nervously.
"What?" He stared at you, confusion still present on his face. "What if I'm not Y/n?"
He frowned as he leaned away from you, blinking as if he was trying to make out who you really were.
"If you're not-" Suddenly releasing his grip he shook his head, "-then I'm not interested."
You almost let out a bewildered laugh. Had those words, those heart-broken eyes really been meant for you all along?
Standing up, you stared down at him as he crossed his arms and looked away from you like an upset toddler.
"Would- would you only be interested in dating me if I was Y/n?"
Nodding his head confidently your heart felt as though it was about to pop out of your chest. Are these his genuine feelings? Or just drunken thoughts he doesn't truly mean?
"I only want Y/n."
You stared down at San as he stared off into space, his voice was blunt, but still slurred.
"I want to take them on dates and hold their hand, and kiss them. I want to hug them whenever I want too, and sleep beside them."
He let out a sad sigh as you stared at him in stunned awe. He closed his eyes as he started to feel sleep take over his body.
"But Y/n doesn't want me."
You felt your stomach knot at his words. Why did he think that? You thought your feelings were obvious, at least that's what the other's had told you before. He spoke as if you had rejected him, but you never recalled a moment like that.
"Y/n deserves better than me, but I hate the idea of them being with anyone else. It has to be. It can only be me."
"I think you're wrong San."
"Hmm?"
He turned his head towards your voice, but failed to open his eyes.
"I think Y/n likes you very much."
You saw a smile tug at his lips, "Really?"
You nodded, knowing he couldn't see you. "Really."
The small smile on his face slowly faded as he drifted into a deep sleep. You watched him for a while, unable to move from your spot as your brain seemed to spin.
He hasn't gotten this drunk in a long time, you doubted he would remember anything he said tonight.
Maybe that was for the best.
If his feelings were as he said, he would be embarrassed that this was how you found out. If they weren't as he said, you would both be embarrassed, and you would be heartbroken.
As you placed another blanket over him before heading to bed, you decided not to tell San about what happened tonight. If he remembered on his own, things will go from there. But the fear that the feelings he expressed weren't true, made your chest ache. So for now, you wanted to believe them, just for a little while.
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When San woke the next morning his head ached as his vision swam. He groaned as he slowly sat up, taking in his surroundings. It took him a moment to recognize where he was. When he spotted your familiar slippers by the door, it became clear that you had rescued him from himself at the party.
Hearing some noise behind him, he turned around, seeing you in the kitchen. Slowly, he rose from the couch, trying not to lose his balance as he made his way to the kitchen. His eyes grazed over your pajama-clad figure and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Oh how he would love to see this every morning.
San's groggy voice startled you as you turned to see him standing in the kitchen entrance. His hair was a mess and his face puffy from the previous nights escapades.
The memory of what happened the previous night rushed through your brain and you pushed it away as you smiled at him in pity.
"Morning. Coffee?"
He nodded softly, the movement hurting as he sat at the kitchen counter.
"I didn't give you too much trouble did I?"
You felt your stomach sink for a second as his words proved you had been correct. He did not remember what happened. Though, he hadn't been awake very long, memories could still surface.
You shook your head. "It was hard getting you anywhere, but besides that, no."
He smiled softly, light embarrassment on his features. "I don't even remember drinking that much." He frowned as he stared down at the coffee you handed him.
You let out a soft scoff and he looked up at you.
"You know all that eggnog you were shooting back?" He nodded his head and you smiled, "That was spiked eggnog."
"Sp-spiked?!" His own voice made him wince from the volume before he let out a soft sigh, "You mean there was alcohol in that?"
You nodded, "A lot. You really couldn't tell?"
He shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle. "I had never had eggnog before, so I thought it just tasted like that."
You chuckled as you shook your head, handing him some medicine for his hangover, "Well, now you know better."
He smiled at you as he took the medicine. "Thank you."
San watched you closely as you turned away from him, you had avoided eye contact with him most of the time you were talking. Did something happen last night you weren't telling him about?
"So, I didn't embarrass myself or anything?"
He saw you freeze for a split-second, something he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been watching you so closely.
You shook your head and chuckled, "Nothing more than usual."
He smiled as he nodded his head, not believing you.
"Do you mind if I take a shower?"
You shook your head, '"No, go ahead."
As San took a shower, he tried to focus on his memories from last night. He remembered playing darts, and then sitting with the guys. Then he remembered you helping him leave the party.
He groaned as he rubbed his face, trying to remember more.
When you got to your apartment, you set him on the couch, he felt his heart spike a little as he recalled...flirting? No, complimenting. He called you beautiful. Was that enough to make you feel awkward around him?
He shook his head, no it had to be more. As he focused, little pieces came back to him and he felt his chest tightening.
He remembered asking you out, pulling you into his lap, and...confessing his feelings.
He pressed his face against the shower wall as he cursed himself.
He frowned as he recalled you not thinking he was talking about you. You thought he was talking about someone else. Do you still think that? Is that why you avoided it?
Embarrassment and panic kept him in the shower longer than usual, he only got out once the water turned cold.
After dressing, he slowly walked out, finding you cooking breakfast in the kitchen. He watched you for a moment as his memories came back clearer and clearer by the second.
Maybe you hadn't told him about what happened to save-face, his to be precise. You would never want to embarrass him. Turning at the sound of his foot steps, you smiled at him and he felt his heart skip.
You ate breakfast in relative silence. He hoped you thought it was because of his hangover that he was being so silent.
As San helped you clear up the plates, you felt his eyes burning into you and you began to grow nervous. Slowly looking over at him you saw his eyes dart away from you in surprise when he got caught.
You swallowed nervously before you began to leave the kitchen, "I'm gonna go get dressed."
"Wait!"
You stopped as San suddenly called out. Turning back to him you saw various emotions cross his face as he tried to think of what to say.
"I- I'm sorry."
From the caution and embarrassment clear on his face, you understood what was happening.
You let out a soft breath. "You remember don't you?"
He nodded softly and you smiled, though your chest was tight. "It's okay San, I know you were just drunk, don't worry about it."
As you turned to walk away he frowned before quickly following after you. Reaching out, he grabbed your wrist, making you turn back in surprise.
"That's not- I-" He closed his eyes tightly as he let out a sigh. "I'm not apologizing for the things I said. I'm apologizing for saying them when I was drunk."
You stared at him for a moment as you tried to process his words.
Pulling you to face him fully, he took your hands in his. "I meant them. Everything I said was true. I just- I wish I hadn't said them when I was drunk. I wish I had the strength to have said them sooner, and when I was sober." He let out a chuckle.
"So...it wasn't just drunk nonsense?"
He shook his head and your breath caught in your throat.
"Oh."
"This isn't how I wanted to do this." He squeezed your hand a little, "But at least it's done. I was afraid I might never say something. It's okay if you don't want to say anything, or just leave it at this, I don't need you to reply, I'm just glad you finally know how I feel."
Slowly, he let go of your hands, and you recalled what he said last night.
"You were wrong."
San looked at you with a furrowed brow, "What?"
"Last night, there was something you said that wasn't true."
"What?"
"You said I didn't like you. You said I didn't want you. You were wrong. Don't you remember I told you you were wrong, and that I like you-"
"-very much."
You nodded softly as a shy smile formed on your face. "I'm sorry you thought different."
A grin spread across his features as he shook his head, "Don't be sorry."
As you stared at each other for a moment, you both started to giggle, unable to keep your faces straight, and giddiness hidden.
Suddenly San pulled you into a hug as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. He spoke softly into your ear and you felt goosebumps rise up your arms.
"Does this mean I can finally hold you?"
You chuckled softly as you nodded, "Yes."
He let out a happy chuckle as he buried his face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around him just as tightly as you held each other for a moment.
"What now?" You asked after a moment.
San hummed before he got an idea. Pulling away enough to look in your eyes he grinned happily.
"Wanna go on a date?"
"A date?" You laughed and he nodded fervently.
You nodded in return. "Yeah, I do."
Pulling you into his arms again he grinned happily as he slowly walked you backwards towards your room.
"Then get ready, let's go."
"Now?"
"Now!"
"What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know yet, but we'll think of something."
Laughing, you pulled away from him to hurry to get ready, excitement and joy radiating between the two of you as thoughts of drunken confessions and unrequited love were left behind.
xx End xx
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oddinary4bts · 9 months
Text
Love is a Laserquest | choi san
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☆summary: years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?
☆pairing: gangster!Choi San x female!reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)
☆genre: gangster au, exes au, angst, smut, a smidge of the one bed trope
☆warnings: guns/gun violence (mentioned), knifes/stabbing (mentioned), a bounty over San's head, death of a minor character (named Jungkook my bad), blood, injuries, stitches, probably some wrong medical terminology bc optometrists don't stitch up people lmao, a panic attack, cursing, pet names, explicit content: oral sex (female receiving) -> face riding, let me know if I forgot any!
☆word count: 16.5k
☆a/n: Here's my submission for Outlaw: The Project hosted by @ssaboala. It is coincidentally my first time posting about another group than bts, so I hope this won't disappoint! I really enjoyed writing it (even though it's really sad oop). Also my first time making a moodboard so hopefully it works haha
☆a/n pt2: thank you to @moonleeai for being my ever-so faithful beta reader, love you lots <3
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And do you still think love is a Laserquest? Or do you take it all more seriously? I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had But you’re always busy being make-believe
Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys
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The diner is silent, unoccupied. It always is on late weekday evenings, when most patrons have gone to bed, the city falling under a carpet of hushed silence only night can bring forth. It makes the diner feel like it’s straight out of a 70s movie, and it makes for the perfect study sessions too.
Night isn’t always soundless in your part of town. Hence why you’ve been trying to escape, pursuing an education that has been leaving you penniless, but with a bright future ahead. If you make it out of med school at a certain point, that is.
Tonight, you fear the peace that night usually entails has been ruined for you – there were gunshots earlier, close enough for you to see the police cars racing past as the law officers made it to probably yet another gang fight.
There’s been a gang war on your side of town. The diner has always been safe, a refuge for both sides of the war, where they aren’t allowed to fight. To carry in weapons and hatred. No, the moment they cross the threshold of the diner, the gangsters become one family, sharing struggles that only poverty can cause.
You wipe a table clean before walking back towards the counter. Your open laptop waits for you, and you quickly read the study guide you’ve made for yourself, the cardiovascular system and its pathologies forming a maze in your mind that you’ve yet to decode. Luckily enough, you still have a week before the bloc ends and you have to take the exam.
Plenty of time to cram everything about the heart in your thick little skull, you’d say.
Your lips move in time with what you’re reading, attention solely focused on the bright screen when a thump is heard right outside the door. It startles you, and you turn around to see the empty street out of the glass door.
It takes you about ten seconds to notice the dark form sitting on the ground. They’re leaning against the door, head lolling to the side. You assume it must be someone that’s ended unhoused, something that happens far too often where you live.
You’ve always been kind. When you were younger, you were told your kindness would be your demise. Yet you’ve never been able to be anything but kind, even though sometimes it might put you at risk. So you can’t resist but walk to the front door, trying to push it open.
It’s useless – the weight of the person is keeping it tightly shut, though they do straighten a little, as if coming to their senses. They turn, and the moment their profile comes into view you’re brought back eight years in the past. To a time when the world was still a beautiful place, void of violence and cruelty. To a smile so sweet it made flowers blossom on your heart, and to eyes so sharp you knew they had read your soul.
Choi San is sitting outside the door, and the caked blood on his cheek tells you enough – he’s injured. He pushes away from the door before slowly getting up. He clutches his side as he does it, yet when he turns back towards you and faces your horrified eyes, he still offers you a smirk.
You push the door open, thinking about the years between then and now. You had dated him for a few months that had felt like forever, until you had realized in what kind of business he was getting involved with. You had tried to convince him to flee before it was too late, and he kept promising that he would.
Only he never did, hiding lies with beautiful words that made your teenage self swoon, until your parents had realized and forced you to break up. It had been a nasty break-up, filled with hatred and words you didn’t mean yet had needed to say for him to leave.
You remember breaking his heart like it was yesterday.
“Choi San,” you greet him, and when he lets go of his side, you notice blood on his hand.
Something runs cold inside of you, even though he still sports a smirk on his lips.
He says your name, bowing his head. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Months, in fact. Because he does come to the diner sometimes. He usually ignores you, and so do you, so it feels strange to have him speak to you. To hear his voice as his words are addressed to you.
“What…” you trail off, glancing down at the ripped fabric of his black tank top.
He’s got a mean cut on his ribs, and it’s only then that you truly realize that he’s badly injured. Because there’s more – one of his biceps has been sliced open too, though blood is barely oozing out of it in small rivulets. The blood on his cheek is from where you assume he’s been punched with rings, and there’s already an underlying bruise under his eye.
“Got beaten up,” he states the obvious, and you immediately open the door wider to let him in.
He limps in, heading towards the nearest booth, where he plops down and lets out a pained grunt. You make sure no one is outside before shutting the door and locking it, flipping the hanging sign on it so it says closed in case a patron decides to show up.
You take a few steps towards San, hands shaking slightly at your side. Because that’s a grown man, bleeding out on the leather seat of the booth, and his eyes are shut though he looks in pain. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You haven’t yet started your residency, haven’t really gone from theory to practice… Yet you’re studying to be a doctor, are you not?
“Why are you here?” you ask, though you’re pretty sure you know the answer.
“Didn’t know where else to go,” he says, wincing as one of his eyes opens. He tilts his head to look towards you. “Word around the block says…” he pauses, takes a deep breath before continuing, “that you’re studying to be a doctor”.
So you are right. He’s here because he needs your help, and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it.
“Why…” You look for words, and it takes you a moment to realize that it doesn’t matter.
For all the history between you and him, Choi San doesn’t deserve to bleed out to death on a cheap leather seat in a forgotten diner on the dangerous side of town.
He has the decency to chuckle at the start of your question, which only makes him wince in pain once again.
“Don’t move,” you tell him, and it’s a little stupid because clearly, he’s in no state to move.
He doesn’t question it, and you run to the kitchen to thoroughly wash your hands and grab the first aid kit. At night, no cooks stay around, and you usually only reheat food if needed, which doesn’t really happen. You haven’t had any client coming in at night in weeks… until San, that is. So no one is there to see what is going on, which you reckon is a relief. Because you have no idea what’s going on.
You return to the booth where San is waiting, patiently. He’s clearly wiped his hand on his face because there’s fresh blood on his forehead, and you almost balk at the sight of it.
“What have you done?” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.
It seems he’s still in sync with you because he still hears. “Got involved with the wrong crowd.”
You put the first aid kit down on the table, ignoring his eyes when they flutter open, and he rests his gaze on you.
“I don’t know if I can help you,” you say as you unzip the kit and throw it open. You spare his side a quick glance. “This looks like you’re going to need stitches.”
He makes an effort of looking down at himself, though it mostly fails as he doesn’t raise his head from the seat. “Right.”
You grab everything you think you might need – alcohol swabs to clean his skin, fresh linen to bandage his side and arm, and stuff for his cheek too. He carefully observes you, with that piercing gaze of his that used to make you go crazy inside when you were young and impressionable.
You vaguely motion at him, and he cocks an eyebrow. “What?”
“Are you able to sit up?” you ask. “I can’t reach you if you’re lying back like this.”
His pink tongue darts to wet his lips, and he nods curtly. “Let me…” he trails off, resting a bloody hand on the table while he grabs at the back of the booth to push himself up. It has new blood appearing on his side, and you quickly move towards him, putting some linen against it.
As if it’s going to do anything. He clearly needs stitches, and you’ve got nothing with you to stitch him up.
“Fuck,” he curses lowly as he’s finally sitting. You just keep the linen on his side, eyes a little wide.
Your gazes connect inevitably, and time slows. You think about how he used to smile, how his eyes used to hold a softness you haven’t had the chance to see again since he’s walked out of your life.
Or rather, since you kicked him out of your life.
“I don’t think I can help,” you whisper, and his eyes flicker to your lips.
“I can’t go to the hospital,” he admits, shame turning his features into a mask of regret. “They… If they find me, I’m dead.”
Dread fills every ounce of your being. “San, what have you been doing?”
He looks away from your insistent gaze, scoffing slightly. “You don’t want to know.”
He isn’t wrong; you genuinely don’t want to know. Because he means nothing good, even with all the memories you share with him.
“Is it going to put me in danger?” you ask, as he still obstinately avoids your gaze.
He seems to freeze in front of you, as if you’ve pressed pause to your favourite show. To avoid the awkwardness, you busy yourself with grabbing one of his hands so he can hold the linen in place before you start washing the cut on his arm. It’s not deep, but you’re pretty sure it’ll still leave a mean scar, especially considering he can’t go to the hospital.
The thought has a drop of cold sweat roll along your spine. People want him dead. People want Choi San, the man you know as a young, scared teenager just trying to find a way to make his life better, dead. You remember the innocence in his smile – has he smiled at all in the years apart?
“I should go,” he says flatly. He moves to stand, but you hold him down, two hands firmly placed on his shoulders. It makes him wince, and you quickly release your grip.
“Don’t,” you tell him. “Let me at least patch you up.”
His eyes shut again as his head hangs low. “I am so sorry.”
You don’t even know who he is apologizing to, or why he is. All you know is that it causes your heart to clench in your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.
When you were younger, you believed San was your star-crossed lover. You believed your high school sweethearts romance would grow until you’d be old and grey and at the end of a very long road. You had dreamed of a future with him, the way only teenagers can dream – with no sense of reality. Because your reality had never been to end up by his side.
His choices had been proof enough of it.
You still remember the day you first kissed. Under an August meteor shower, with just the night sky as your witness. It had been hesitant, slow and soft, just like everything with San. And you had believed the lie, trusted it with every beat of your little heart, until your parents had found out the truth about him.
Until they had broken your heart, even before you had broken his.
If the stars had known then, what was going to happen to you and Choi San, would they still have shone through the night?
He lets out a pained sound as you gently dab at the cut on his bicep. You clean the skin around the wound in and of itself, and he watches you carefully, piercing gaze not missing how your face clouds with memories.
“How have you been doing?” he asks so softly you think his words are a gentle summer breeze on your features.
You can almost still smell the summer night air of that field where you had stargazed, where you’d always meet so long ago.
“I’ve been okay,” you answer, truthfully. Because even though you haven’t seen him, you have lived your life apart from him. Have evolved without him by your side. “Better than you, visibly.”
He didn’t expect the joke. It makes him snort, and then a soft smile grows on his lips, softening the edges of his hard features. “You haven’t changed.”
You have, and yet you haven’t. Like him, you think there’s a part of you that is still sixteen, and will forever be. A part of you that remained stuck in the moment when you watched him walk away in the rain, as if even the sky had to cry for his broken heart.
“Wish I could say the same about you,” you murmur, nostalgia a melancholic song in your words.
He chooses to remain silent, because the proof of how much he’s changed is sitting right in front of you, wounded and bleeding and hurt. The hurt is behind his eyes, in the shadows of the past that have also been obscuring your vision.
“Yeah,” he lets out, barely audible.
And then silence reigns between you, because as much as you once loved him, eight years have made you strangers. You don’t know anything about his life except the dirty, obvious darkness that surrounds him, and he doesn’t know anything except that you are studying to be a doctor…
Which leads you to wonder how does he know in the first place?
You ask him, as you’re wrapping the linen around his bicep to make a makeshift bandage. You’re proud of the result, though your fingers can’t resist but linger on the taut skin over his muscle, surprised at how soft it still is.
“I’ve heard you mention it,” he admits, as you take a step away to look at the material on the table, as if it’ll suddenly make stitches appear for you to put them in his skin. “One of the times I was here.”
“You never said hi,” you reproach him, unable to hide the ghost of a bite in your tone.
“Neither did you,” he points out, and he isn’t wrong.
All you can do is purse your lips as you finally decide to clean his skin. But for that, you have to rid him of his tank top, to make sure there’s no fabric in the wound. You look at him, cheeks somehow burning even though all you’re doing is taking care of a patient.
Though he’s not a patient, and you’re not in a hospital. You’re just a server at a dusty, old diner and he’s just your teenage lover, wounded by his dangerous actions.
“Should I grab scissors to remove your shirt?” you ask, though you’re speaking to yourself more than to him.
He still finds it in him to tease. “You want me out of my shirt?” he enquires, smirk gracing his lips again. “Say no more.”
He tries moving, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t,” you warn. “You’ll make it bleed more.”
He purses his lips, because nodding. “Right.” He glances at the first aid kit, before his eyes trail to your face again. “You got scissors in that?”
There are. You grab them, before turning towards him. It feels strange: you’ve never undressed him before. You had always wanted to wait, back then, before you slept together. You believed you were too young, and San had always respected it.
“Let me know if I hurt you,” you tell him as you take a step closer to him.
He slightly leans back, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you plan to do with those that might hurt?”
You roll your eyes, playfully, before taking the two other steps leading to right in front of his legs. You notice that they are slightly parted, allowing you to come closer, and you take a steadying breath before reaching between you, pulling at the fabric of his tank top.
“Stay still and you shouldn’t get hurt,” you whisper, ignoring the heaviness of his piercing gaze on you.
It burns right through you, and you have to tame the beats of your heart at the feeling of the warm skin of his shoulder against the back of your fingers as you bring your other hand forward, until you’ve started cutting his shirt.
It’s stuck to his side where blood has dried, and he winces but remains still and silent as you keep going, pulling on it a little harder to be able to cut. The moment stretches into infinity, because you can’t help but take your time. It reminds you of how you’d used to run your fingers on his back, under his shirt, when you napped in the field in the summertime. In an idyllic world where gangs and violence and war were mere inventions of the media, and not a reality that surrounded you.
You’d loved the field. The wildflowers, the open air, the way it was just you and him and a few lazy bumblebees as clouds lazily crossed the sky above. You were so young then, so innocent. Hands unstained from blood, from his blood.
Because as you cut, the hand touching his shirt stains with blood. You pale at the sight of it, but you keep going, pushing through until you’re done, gently pulling the fabric from his body until he’s sitting there, shirtless, with a long wound on his ribs.
You can’t help but notice his toned chest and the defined abs on his stomach. Though blood mars his skin, turning it into a piece of violence, Choi San is still beautiful. Beautiful in a dark, dangerous way that has you glance outside, making sure no one is looking.
But the streets are empty, void of life at this time of the night. At least, they mostly always are.
“You will need stitches,” you state again as if you both don’t know already.
“I can’t…”
An idea forms in your brain. It’s a stupid idea, and you don’t even know why it crosses your mind.
Your uncle has a hunting cabin far in the woods. He’s a nurse himself, and he’s always kept everything over there in case someone got injured and he had to stitch them up. You haven’t gone in forever, but you still remember the tall trees, the deep forest scent that reminds you of autumn and leaves and grey days spent reading by the fireplace.
You never went hunting, but you did accompany your father when he went, needing an escape from the city once in a while. An escape from a life that was slowly becoming too real.
Your uncle is currently halfway across the country, so you know you’d be alone at the cabin. You glance at your laptop over your shoulder – you have three days off in front of you before your next class on Monday. Indeed, the Friday class is pre-recorded and to watch online in your free time, and you figure you can always watch it some other time.
So you turn towards Choi San, almost surprised that he’s real and he’s still sitting in front of you, honey skin cut open on his ribs.
“I might know a place where you can go,” you admit, with a small voice, surprising both you and him. Because you doubt he expects you to want to help, after tonight.
“What?” he asks.
“My uncle’s cabin,” you remind him, because you’ve told him about it all those years ago. “He should have all that I need to stitch you up.”
San looks down at himself. “You’ve just cut my shirt open.”
It sounds a little dumbfounded, and you can’t help the nervous laugh that falls from your mouth. Because even though it doesn’t look too deep, the wound still is terrifying in and of itself.
“I’ll bandage it,” you whisper. “Before we go.”
He seems like he ponders for a time. You watch the debate across his features, his eyes falling to a spot on your chin. He looks sad, troubled and defeated. “I can’t… I can’t do this to you.”
You ignore his words, carefully washing his side. You avoid the cut and try to be as gentle as you can, but his muscles still flex as he clenches his fists from the pain.
He’s strong. That much hasn’t changed. Because he doesn’t make any sound as you finish washing him and then patch him up with those same careful hands. And when you move to his face, cleaning the blood, his eyes flutter shut, and he sighs softly.
He looks so much like he looked then that your heart aches, and you find yourself blinking away tears for this man who’s had it so rough he believed joining a gang would save him.
“I should have come to you before,” he murmurs. “You’re much gentler than Hongjoong.”
You don’t know the guy he mentioned, and you don’t feel like asking. Don’t feel like acknowledging his words, so you just finish with his cheek before stepping away from the peaceful aura that was treacherously pulling you in.
Like all those years ago, you reckon.
“Let me make a call,” you say, turning away from him as you move to the counter. You feel the weight of his eyes between your shoulder blades as you get your phone from next to your laptop. You call your boss, and as someone that’s never called in sick before, you feel anxiety flush through you.
Because you’re not sick. And how could you tell him that you need to take care of your ex-boyfriend of eight years ago?
Seokhyun picks up on the first ring, voice groggy with sleep when he mutters, “Hello?”
“Boss,” you greet him. You scrape your throat and spare a look towards San who’s watching you curiously. “An emergency came up, and I have to leave the diner.” You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed from lying, and then you add, “There haven’t been any customers all night, so I was wondering… would you be comfortable with me closing for the rest of the night?”
Your boss says your name, a little reproachfully. But then he sighs, because he knows just as well as you what a good employee you’ve always been. “Are you going to be able to come in tomorrow night?” he asks.
You pull at dry skin on your bottom lip, assessing San’s state. You could always come back to the city for work…
“You know what, I know you’ve got that big exam coming up,” your boss says, sighing into the phone. “Why don’t you take the next week off so you can take care of your emergency and focus on your studies?”
If Seokhyun wasn’t a fifty-three year old married and father of three children man, you think you’d ask him to marry you right now.
“That would be really helpful,” you tell him, gratitude dripping from your voice. “Are you sure that won’t be a problem for the diner?”
“The diner won’t lose profit if it closes for three nights in the week,” he points out. “I’ll see if I can get you replaced for the evening shift on Sunday.”
You thank him again as he grumbles that it’s nothing. He wishes you good luck, and when the line goes silent, you finally meet San’s gaze again.
“All sorted out,” you tell him, offering him a nod. “Let me just close the diner, and then we can go.”
He nods, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He observes you as you do so, quickly closing the diner like you’ve done about a hundred times before, though this time you’re far more excited to go. You grab a plastic bag to put away the bloody swabs, and though he groans in pain, San gets up to help you clean the blood that stained the cheap leather of the booth.
Soon enough, you’re ready to go, and you walk outside with the plastic bag in one hand and your backpack on your shoulders as San chuckles, looking down at himself.
“Do you have a shirt for me?” he asks as he follows you out.
You lock the door behind you before glancing at him. He’s quite the sight, naked from the waist up and bandaged like he is, and you can’t help the small chuckle you let out as you glance towards your car, that’s luckily parked right in front.
Though it’s a deadbeat car, you trust it enough to know it’ll make the trip to your uncle’s cabin, even in the middle of the night.
“My ex left some sweaters on the back seat,” you admit as you unlock your car doors and open the trunk to put your backpack and the plastic bag in there. There’s no chance in hell you’ll leave a plastic bag full of bloody swabs near your work.
You see San nod from the periphery of your vision, and then he’s opening the door to the backseat. “Your ex, huh?” he mutters as he grabs a sweater you used to love wearing and that you haven’t convinced yourself to give back to Hyunmin.
He carefully puts it on, and you’re pretty sure just the motion is going to make blood seep through the bandage. Somehow, you don’t care that it might stain Hyunmin’s sweater.
Hyunmin was a cheater, and even though you never really loved him, it took you months before you found the strength to break up with him. Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve his clothes back.
“Yeah,” you flatly say as you move towards the driver’s seat. You sit, and San follows you, naturally, as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.
As you turn the keys in the engine, San asks, “Have you dated a lot?”
You bristle at the question, shooting him an embarrassed look. “Have you?”
“No,” he replies, features fully serious.
You purse your lips, focusing on the road as you start driving. You need to put gas in the car if you want to get to your uncle’s cabin, so you make your way towards the closest one. It takes you a moment before you register how San has stiffened next to you.
“Can we…” he trails off, and he sinks in the seat, trying to hide. “I can’t be seen here.”
You immediately press on the accelerator, and your car speeds down the street as you pass in front of the gas station. You glance at San only when you’re stopped at a red light. He’s pulled the hood of the sweater over his features, and he’s doing his best to hide.
“Where can we stop?” you ask.
“Next town over,” he answers. “I just can’t be seen in Bangtan territory.”
Right. You have no knowledge of how the gangs have divided your city, but you’re not surprised Bangtan has this part of town. It’s the industrial area, and you assume there’s a lot of money to be made around here.
“Sounds good,” you gently say, and then you’re driving again, the light turning green, allowing you to speed away into the night.
You drive silently all the way to the next town, watching your city disappear to be replaced by trees until buildings reappear. San is looking outside the window, and you can’t help but wonder how he’s been doing, truly. How he managed to get injured like he is right now, and mostly, if his dreams of running away still occupy his thoughts.
He had begged you, the evening you had broken up with him. Told you he’d make enough money to be able to move with you across the country and build yourself a nice little life over there. You had wanted to believe him for so long, until your parents had opened your eyes on just how he was trying to make money.
“Do you need anything?” you ask as you finally reach the gas station, pulling into the driveway. You park next to a pump, turning to face him only to find him already watching you.
“I don’t have money to pay for food,” he admits. He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I lost my wallet in the… altercation.”
You gently put a hand on his forearm. “Hey, my treat. We have to eat.”
He inhales deeply, letting out the breath slowly, before he nods. “Alright. I owe you.”
You reckon he’ll owe you for a lot more than just food at a gas station, but you choose not to say it. Not when you feel like someone’s watching over your shoulder, watching you drive away in the night with the person they are looking for.
You know it’s paranoia. No one followed you out of the city and into this town. It just feels too strange to have him here, with you. In your car, on the way to your uncle’s cabin, as if eight years have gone out the window. As if you can still be young and innocent.
It’s stupid, because you can’t. Time has changed him; time has changed you. And in just a few years you’ll be a doctor, and you’ll finally get out of this hellhole of a city, of its dangerous streets.
Of its equally dangerous man, that you know could probably pull you back in with one of his many well-crafted lies, one of the dreams he weaved expertly, whispering it into your ear.
You take a deep breath before getting out of the car. You go into the station, grab snacks for the next few days and then head to the counter. The guy behind nods as you approach, and you pay for the food and for gas before wishing him a good night and returning outside. San is still squatting in the car, clearly trying to hide, and you put the food on the backseat before putting gas in.
You watch his profile as you put gas in the car. Back when you were dating, his features weren’t as sharp, as glass-cutting as they now are. He used to sport a rounder face, but today you wonder if you’d get a papercut on his jaw. You wouldn’t even be surprised.
When you’re done with gas, you sit back next to him, and you quickly bring the engine back to life before pulling out in the street. As soon as you exit the city, darkness falls on the two of you, tall trees standing on the two sides of the road again. San doesn’t speak much, and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s dozing off next to you.
“Hey, everything okay?” you ask, suddenly worried that he might have lost too much blood. Which, you reckon, you should have thought about earlier.
He sighs, glancing towards you. “Just tired.”
“Don’t…” you trail off. “Don’t fall asleep.”
He chuckles. “You’re afraid I’m going to die on you?”
“Choi San,” you warn. “Don’t you dare say stuff like that.”
He smiles, but you reckon he’s a little pale. Or at least you think he is, in the silver light of the moon up above. “I think I’m fine. Just…” He offers you a weak smile, though you’ve returned your attention on the winding road. “Just exhausted. I haven’t slept in three days.”
Worry clutches your heart, and you nibble at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “What’s been going on?”
He slightly shrugs. “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to put you in danger…”
“Am I not already in danger by just helping you?”
The silence is telling enough. And it remains for a while until San finally speaks.
“I was in a gunfight a week ago. Accidentally shot the youngest member of the other gang. He didn’t make it, and the gang has put a bounty on my head. Ateez took my gun and told me to run; I laughed in their face and said I wasn’t a coward. Then I got attacked by two guys with knives earlier, and I made it to the diner because I had nowhere else to go.”
Now the silence is deafening, heavy, and you think you’ve altogether stopped breathing. You’re struck with an image of San in the summer sun, smiling wide as he put a flower behind your ear, claiming you were the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The contrast with who he is now – a product of night, shrouded in darkness with no hint of that smile on his lips – is stark. And you wonder when’s the last time he has seen the sun, when’s the last time his life wasn’t violence like this.
When you say nothing, he scoffs, resting his head against the window as if it’d allow him to escape. Because clearly he wants to escape – he’s just told you that he’s killed someone after all.
And you don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to react to someone confessing murder. All you can do is stare at the street ahead, hoping you won’t end up in a gunfight with San. Because where would that lead you, other than in the dramatics of death?
You don’t speak for the rest of the ride. You don’t think he sleeps either, and dawn is clinging to the far horizon when you get to your uncle’s cabin, in a secluded forest that seems straight out of a fairytale. Instead of bringing you awe like it usually does, the sight of it makes you think of all the murder mysteries you had been obsessed with when you were younger, before you realized how horrible the real world truly is.
Neither of you move, as you turn off the engine of the car, and you fall into even more of a tensed silence, though this time you can hear the chirping of the early birds. It’s peaceful, so peaceful you can barely even grasp how tangible the presence of San is next to you. The presence of his actions too, looming between the two of you like a sword of Damocles.
You move first. Putting a hand on the knob, hoping to escape the heaviness into the dawn. San speaks before you can though, and your heart stops in your chest.
“I never meant for him to get hurt,” he murmurs, and you think he’s speaking to himself more than to you. “Everything went too fast, my gun was in my hand and I just… in situations like these, you don’t have time to think.” He leans his head against the headrest, eyes closing. “All I can picture since it’s happened is him falling and blood. Like a fucking blossoming rose, all around him.” He rests his closed fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard. “I haven’t been able to sleep; I’ve been sick every time I’ve tried to eat…”
“San,” you interrupt as you break and break for him. Because this is the San you know. This is the young boy that just wanted to escape and live in a better world. You can almost taste his remorse, taste his regret and shame. It’s poisonous, treacherous, a slippery slope that can’t lead anywhere good. “Let’s get you in. I want to get that cut on your ribs checked.”
He falls silent, and for a moment you feel guilty. Because what if he had more to say? You don’t even think you would have been able to listen. You need the escape, and you know he’ll permit it. Because the man next to you is a broken man, a fracture of what he could have been.
You step out of the car, blinking away tears – from the anxiety, from the exhaustion, and perhaps even from the pain you feel for him. He follows you, wincing as he swings his legs out of the car. He stumbles a little as he stands, but soon enough, he grows steady on his feet, and his attention moves to you. You climb the stairs of the cabin, lifting the rug to find the small trap that leads to the spare key. The padlock is rusted, but it stands strong as you put in the code, and a click is heard when you pull on it.
A few seconds later, you’ve unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the cabin as you remember it. Not a single item is out of place, though dust covers everything, a clear indication that no one has been here in years. You let San in, before going back to the car to get the food you bought, bringing it in and putting it in the fridge. Three full gas canisters hide under the counter, and you sigh in relief – you’ll be able to get the generator on for some electricity.
You motion to the kitchen table. “Have a seat,” you tell San, who somehow looks like a lost puppy. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”
He nods, remaining silent, eyes downcast. You only move when he’s seated, heading to the bathroom area of the cabin, where you startle a spider that almost makes you scream out loud. You keep it in, heart beating out of your chest as you get the kit before moving back into the main area.
San is leaning against the chair, eyes closed. He senses you approaching, and one of his eyes cracks open to watch you carefully, a little like he did earlier, at the diner. It looks so similar to how he used to look at you, when you joined him at the field, that you stop in your tracks, heart squeezing once again.
You don’t like the way Choi San is making you feel, that’s for sure.
“Take off the sweater,” you tell him, putting the kit down on the table. You put some clean linen next to it, to put what you need over it, before washing your hands with the disinfectant you find in the kit. You put latex gloves on after, and then you fish wire and a surgical needle from the first aid kit that you carefully put down on the linen once you’ve torn the packages open.
As you were doing all of that, San took off the shirt, struggling a little as it meant he had to lift his right arm, which pulled at the skin of his ribs, where the cut clearly has started bleeding again. Though, if you’re honest to yourself, you’re pretty sure he’s been bleeding this whole time, even though it probably was just some fine rivulets.
Indeed, the cut isn’t all that deep, you remind yourself. Mostly because you don’t want to even think about the consequences of the blood loss. As long as he stays awake, you figure he’s fine – he would have lost consciousness a while ago if he was losing a lot of blood.
You remove the bandage you had carefully put in place earlier, wincing at the sight of the blood that’s seeped through it. San keeps his eyes close, lets you clean his skin again in peace, and you feel sick to your stomach as you realize you don’t have any anesthetics for the pain that stitching him up will cause. Indeed, the pocket in which your uncle usually leaves the lidocaine is empty, and you remember that he’s had to use it for your dad when he accidentally cut himself with a machete last summer.
“Huh,” you let out. You chuckle nervously. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”
His eyes narrow, and he clenches his jaw. “Don’t worry about it.”
You worry at your bottom lip, holding his gaze as you gauge if he’s serious. When his gaze doesn’t falter, you offer him a curt nod, before getting the wire and needle ready under his watchful eyes.
You hand him some linen. “To bite on,” you explain as he just cocks an eyebrow quizzically. That makes his gaze widen a little as if he’s just now realizing how serious you were about it hurting, but he takes it nonetheless.
You think about the theory of how to stitch someone up. It was in your previous block – you watched hours of videos of it in an attempt to desensitize yourself to it. You don’t think it compares to the real thing, but at least you’re somehow confident of what you’re doing when you start.
San startles, groaning in pain, and you offer him a glare. “Don’t move, or it’ll be worse.”
A drop of sweat rolls down his temple, but he still nods. Even as you keep on stitching him, he remains as still as he physically can, though you don’t think he even notices how he’s trembling. Or maybe that’s you – you don’t even know.
Somehow, you make it through the whole thing. You think San might have passed out at some point, but he’s wide awake when you finish the knot to keep the stitches in place, looking up to meet his face.
He’s panting and tears of pain wet his waterline. He blinks them away as he takes the linen out of his mouth, dropping it on the table.
“Fuck,” he curses.
“Let me…” you trail off, mind set on getting something to at least help him cool off, because he’s clearly been heating up.
You grab a washcloth and a small bucket, and head outside to walk down to the lake. You fill the bucket halfway, and take a few seconds to observe the calm surrounding you, hoping that it can ease the nerves rolling inside your heart like dark clouds do on the horizon whenever a storm is coming. You feel it in your bones – you have a murderer in your uncle’s cabin.
You have to keep that in mind. To not let Choi San in like you did when you were a young impressionable teenager.
You sigh, closing your eyes to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun is peaking over the horizon now, and you bask in its hesitant rays for all of twenty seconds before you convince yourself to go back in. You’ve got a patient to take care of, after all.
San hasn’t moved an inch while you were outside. The only indication that he hasn’t died on you is the groan he lets out as you put the wet washcloth on his forehead. You tap his cheek gently, as if to say, ‘suck it up, I’m just trying to take care of you’.
Which is exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it?
You watch him carefully for a few seconds before tapping his shoulder this time around.
“There’s a bed,” you remind him. “You’d be better passing out in a bed.”
He groans again, cracking an eye open. “I’ve just been repeatedly poked with a needle,” he drawls. “Give me a second.”
It makes you laugh. Because of the nerves, maybe. You’re not quite sure. All you know is that you’re laughing, and San opens his second eye to look at you as if you’re crazy. And you laugh for longer than you should – you’re exhausted after all, especially considering you haven’t slept since yesterday morning. So far, adrenaline has been keeping you going, but you can tell you’re about to crash.
“Sorry,” you apologize once you calm down. “This has just been…”
“A lot,” San finishes for you. “I know.”
You nod once before glancing at the doorway to the bedroom. It has no door, as your uncle and your dad usually come here alone and they don’t mind sharing a bed. It makes you realize that you’ll have to share it with San, which you reckon you should have thought about before. Because there’s no way in hell you’ll share a bed with him, especially after he’s told you why he’s being hunted.
There’s always the option of going into town later today so you can get a sleeping bag and floor mat to sleep on. But you’re far too tired right now to even consider driving, so you motion to the bed once again.
“Stick to your side; I’ll stick to mine.”
He smirks though he’s extremely pale. A lot paler than he was before, and you swallow a sudden lump in your throat. Because what if he dies? What are you supposed to do with him if he dies?
“You’ll have to help me to get to the bed ‘cause I don’t think I can move,” he says once his smirk dies. He curses under his breath. “I’m so pathetic.”
You put your hand on his shoulder again, reassuringly, eyes holding his. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re hurt. Everyone is pathetic when they’re hurt.”
He gulps before nodding once. It takes everything in you not to offer him more comfort because you feel like the slope would tilt forwards far too much if you did. Instead, you help him to get up, wincing as he puts most of his weight on you, clutching his side with one hand. You’re infinitely aware of how his skin is sticky with sweat, but you ignore it as you slowly walk to the bedroom.
You can only hope the stitches will hold because you don’t think he’d be able to withstand another round of them.
You finally reach the bedroom and help San sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, eyes shut tightly, and he doesn’t move for a time. When he does, it’s to stiffly lie down on his side.
“You might want to sleep on your back,” you inform him. “I don’t want you rolling around and messing up the stitches.”
He glares at you, though he looks like he’s already half out of it. You hold his gaze until he gives in, turning on his back with a deep sigh. You arrange pillows around him to make sure he’s not moving, and by the time you’re done, his breathing has already evened out.
For a moment, you just watch him sleep. You see him in the field where young love blossomed like a trillion wildflowers. You can almost breathe his pollen again, can almost feel the softness of his skin under your fingertips.
But he’s not what he used to be. Back then, you felt like you had discovered something new. Love, infatuation, affection, and desire, all in the form of the man sleeping next to you. You’d used to kiss, dance and sing to a song only your souls knew, and now you don’t think you recognize him anymore.
As much as he is him, he’s also but just the ghost of what he was. He’s trouble, danger in the shape of innocence, and you recall his words from earlier. You recall the despair, the regret and sorrow that haunted him after he told you. You can’t let him get to your head.
You reckon sleep might help. Though you’re afraid he’s going to waste away in his sleep, so you set up an alarm every hour, before climbing on the other side of the bed. You don’t pull on the covers, mostly because the cabin is warm, and you can imagine it’s just going to get hotter as the sun goes up and the summer heat slowly sizzles into the countryside.
It’s a good thing you put an alarm on. Because when it rings an hour later, you don’t even remember falling asleep. You’re pretty sure the second your head touched the mattress, you were out to the land of dreams. You groan, mostly because you’ve got a slight headache, but you power through it to make sure San is still breathing.
When you see his chest moving up and down steadily, you let yourself fall back asleep.
This goes on for the whole morning, and you only force yourself to stay up when your phone shows that it’s passed noon. As you had suspected earlier, the cabin has gotten extremely warm, so you force yourself out of bed to open all the windows, and then you use the washcloth from earlier to gently wash San’s face of the sweat.
He doesn’t even flinch in his sleep, but he’s still breathing and for now, that’s all that matters.
You head back to the main room, grabbing a pack of chips from where you had left the food earlier, and then you move outside to sit by the lake. Mostly because you need to put distance between you and San, but also just because the childhood memories of this place have you in their hold, and they’ve decided to make you miss the times when you’d swim around with your cousins before both of them had moved out of town.
One day, it’s going to be you too. You already know where you’d go – on the other side of the country, as far away from here as possible. You just want to forget all about the place you grew up in, and you know that, in a few years, you will have forgotten.
Though you’re pretty sure a certain piercing gaze will haunt you forever, especially after the events of today.
When another hour passes, you head back inside, putting the empty bag of chips in the trash before you check up on San. He’s still asleep, but this time he doesn’t look as pale as he did earlier. You assume it’s going to take him a while before he wakes, so you head to the nearest town to grab more food. Mostly to busy yourself, but also just because you know San will need a place to hide for a lot longer than just the weekend. Might as well make sure you have enough for him to survive a couple of days. In town, you also stop to eat at a small café on a small terrasse in the shade of a few trees, and then you grab the food you think you might need at the grocery store.
It’s the middle of the afternoon when you get back, realizing that you forgot to buy a floor mat. As you spy San, who hasn’t moved an inch since he’s fallen asleep, you figure that sleeping next to him tonight should be fine.
As long as his presence in your vicinity doesn’t drag you down memory lane again.
You bought some meat in town, so you head to the little shack outside where the generator is hiding. There’s a gas canister right next to it – also full – and you busy yourself for the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When it finally rumbles to life, you head back inside to put the meat in the fridge, which has finally come to life.
When you hear a groan, you quickly jog to San’s side, fully expecting to find him awake. Surprisingly, he’s still asleep, and you stay next to him for a full minute, thinking he might groan again, though he remains entirely silent.
If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down steadily, you’d believe him to be dead. But now that a few hours have passed, you’re pretty positive he’ll make it, though he’s probably going to sleep through the day and possibly through the next one too.
Which leaves you in the most peaceful atmosphere you’ve been in for a while, with the opportunity to study as you listen to the rush of wind in the leaves of the tall trees surrounding the cabin. You sit outside, this time near the fireplace, and you study until your stomach grumbles, indicating that it is time for you to cook.
You cook the meat you’ve bought on the grill outside, feeling thankful that your dad once showed you how to use it. You go back in to grab a bottle of water before you eat, and you’re bent in the fridge when you hear San moan again, and this time it sounds like he’s saying something.
You gently close the fridge, making your way to the bedroom. San hasn’t moved, but his features are creased in a frown, and sweat is rolling down his temples. You wet the washcloth, gently wipe his face, and you’re about to leave when he moans again.
It takes you far too long to realize he’s apologizing. What for, you can’t really tell. Though you remember his troubled eyes this morning, you remember his story, and your heart breaks in your chest.
He’s haunted. You think the ghost of the dead guy will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. And suddenly you’re struck thinking maybe, maybe if you hadn’t broken his heart all those years ago, you could have saved him from the gang.
Maybe you could have opened his eyes.
You still remember the break-up like it was yesterday. You remember the rain, him leaving without once looking back, but mostly you remember the words you had uttered. Ghosts of their own, that feel more real now that he’s come back into your life.
*****
��               “You’re going to get hurt!” you yelled. “You’ll get hurt, San. What are you thinking?”
He scoffed, shaking his head, and little droplets of water shot all around him. “I’ll be careful. We need the money if we ever want to make it out of this shit town.”
You blinked away tears, folding your arms on your chest as you tried to keep your heart from breaking. Though you reckoned it had broken when your parents had told you what they knew about San. When your father had mentioned Ateez, and you’d truly realized what it meant that he was part of a gang. San, your sweet, soft, and bubbly San, in a gang that had murdered someone just a few weeks ago.
“But that’s not a way to make money!” you screamed, hoping he’d understand. Hoping he’d hear the truth in your words, hoping he’d change his mind before it was too late. “Why don’t you get a part-time job, like me? Then we can go to college and get jobs in a nice city on the other side of the country!”
“It won’t work,” he drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want to be out soon, not in a few years. I barely even have a roof over my head, Y/n…”
“Come live with me,” you choked out around the lump in your throat.
You both knew fully well that your parents would never let him come near you again.
“I can’t.”
You cried, hiding your face in your hands. You cried thinking of the field where you usually met, thinking about its beauty now fading into ugliness. You thought about the wildflowers, withered and dead as autumn had come. You thought about how you were convinced you knew what love was.
“What’s the point?” you asked then. “What’s the point of putting your life in danger? Life isn’t some sort of a game, Choi San. Worse, what if you have to hurt someone? Do you think you’ll be able to pull the trigger?”
He clenched his jaw, hard. “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.”
You closed your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach. Because it couldn’t be. Not San. Not your smiley San, who’d always weave dandelions crowns with you, as you’d pretend you were a queen and a king of that field you had found. An empty field, an abandoned farmland that was just yours and his to explore. That had been home to your first kiss, and all of those that had followed.
Now you wondered why he had always wanted to meet there in the first place. Was he trying to hide?
"If you love me, you’ll get out while you still can,” you said as your tears suddenly ended.
There was a weird sense of clarity in you, suddenly. You remembered the day you had fallen in love, the moment you had first kissed. You remembered the stars in the sky above, the meteors falling for the two of you. You remembered the music on the radio you had brought. Some Arctic Monkeys song about heartbreak, about moving on and failing to do so. As a joke, when it had ended, you had asked San, “Do you think love is a laserquest?”
His answer had been cryptic, mysterious, things that had made you believe he was the one. “Maybe. Maybe it is, and I’ve shot you in the back while you weren’t looking. Maybe I’m that annoying player that won’t leave you alone.”
“I’ll never find you annoying,” you had replied.
But today, watching the rain rolling down his face like tears, you realized that maybe, maybe you should have seen the warning behind his words. Because this betrayal, it came like he had shot you in the back – you didn’t think you’d be able to recover from it.
The past dwindled away as San spoke again, reminding you of the question you had just asked him. “It’s not a question of love, Y/n. I do love you. But it’s a question of survival.”
You laughed, coldly, and then you said, “You know what? You’re full of shit.”
“Alright then. Do me a favour and tell me to go away.”
“Go away.”
A long silence had lingered between you, voided of that summer warmth that had you falling in love. Like a piece was missing from the contract of you loving him, and him loving you. And you realized, maybe you had never really loved each other anyway.
He nodded once when you didn’t say anything else, before turning away. And you watched him walk away. You watched him thinking he was going to turn around and tell you this was just some twisted joke, the prank of the century. Only, he never turned around, and he disappeared behind the bend in the road, never to be seen again, cracking your heart open and splitting it in half.
*****
                The sun sets, like an ending to a dream. You’ve always liked the end – you think if you could choose, you’d want to witness the end of the world. The nostalgia, the beauty of endings… it’s something you understand now that you didn’t understand when you were younger. Because you and San ending, it had led to you focusing on high school. It had allowed you to get in the good college in town, with a scholarship that covered most of your expenses before you made it to med school.
There’s beauty in knowing losing San has allowed you to live out your dreams.
There’s less beauty in knowing that San has been sleeping for almost thirty-four hours now. Last time you checked, he was still breathing, but you’re starting to be afraid that he just won’t wake up. It’s irrational, you know – after the blood loss it makes sense that he’d sleep for a long time.
But it leaves you with far too much time on your hands to think and revisit the past. You’ve been doing it all day – thinking about the fight with your parents that had led to your break-up with San, thinking about that damn rainy evening he had walked away without once looking back. Thinking of the field, of sunshine and star falls and the sweetness of a first kiss. Thinking that, then, you thought you knew what it was like to be in love.
You haven’t dated anyone serious since San. Hyunmin was a distraction for a while, but you never were into it. Not like you were into San. There’s a guy in your class though, that you’ve been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He’s sweet, innocent, and the perspective of a future seems less scary with him around. He’s mentioned he wants to move across the country once too, and since then you’ve started talking more, the similarity of your wishes drawing you closer.
All day today you’ve been feeling like you’re slowly drifting away though. Slowly getting entrapped in a web you’re not sure you’ll be able to walk away from.
You decide to swim, seeking the fresh clarity only cold water can bring to you. You don’t have a swimsuit with you, but since San is half-dead in bed you figure it doesn’t matter. So you strip naked, feet making squelching sounds in the mud by the lake side as you step in the water.
The sharp cold has you holding your breath, but you don’t slow down. You’ve never slowed down in life – when you make a decision, you bring it to completion. And you’ve decided to swim, so swim you will.
The warm summer evening breeze catches in your hair as you take another step forward, the water now lapping at your thighs. You dread the moment it’ll hit your core, knowing that that’s the worst part, but you breathe in deeply, moving forward. Because there’s no moving backwards now.
When the water hits, your eyes flutter shut, and you hold in the wince that threatens to escape the mask of calm your features hold. Soon enough, you get deep enough to swim, and the movements bring welcomed warmth to your limbs as you flop on your back, tits out of the water.
Your uncle’s cabin is the only cabin in a fifteen miles radius. You know you won’t be interrupted, and so you let the water cool you down. Calm you down, hold you in its fresh embrace. It undoes knots in your back that have formed from worrying about San, but also from worrying about college.
From worrying that you will never be enough. You think it’s a normal anxiety to have, something most people must feel as they go through the trials of college, not knowing what to expect on the other side. A nice career, perhaps, though the perspective of failure is there too, looming over the horizon.
You sigh, and your eyes flutter open as your legs move mindlessly under you, making sure to keep you afloat. You look up at the azury ceiling over your head, so far away as it slowly turns gold. Out of touch, out of grasp. You watch the fluffy white clouds that are lazily crossing the sky, turning fiery in the sunset, as if they have all the time in the universe. And you wish you were them, up above. With nothing to worry about.
Without a Choi San on the brink of death lying about twenty meters away from you. You sigh, and you turn in the water, with the purpose of swimming again. Though your gaze catches movement by the cabin, and your head snaps towards it to see none other than the supposedly Choi San, standing on the deck with a hand clutching his side.
You shriek, looking down at yourself. Most of you is hidden, but you don’t know how long he’s been there. Don’t know if he’s seen you naked as you looked up at the sky.
He doesn’t move, only watches you where you’re swimming.
“Can you please look away?” you say from the water, and he has the nerves to lean against the railing, eyes still boring into where you’re swimming. You think his gaze might be so hot the water will boil, and it startles you into action.
You start walking out of the water, pointing towards the door. “You shouldn’t be up, Choi San.”
“I feel fine,” he says as you take another step forward, and the water barely hides your tits anymore.
That makes him turn around, as he offers you a little bit of privacy. You’re quick to get out of the water and wrap yourself in the towel you brought outside, and then you collect your clothes to head back to the cabin. San dutifully keeps his gaze away until you’re climbing the three steps leading to the deck, and it’s then that his eyes trail to you again.
“Thank you for the water,” he says, offering you a tentative smile.
You left water by his bedside earlier today hoping it will coax him to wake up. You’re strangely surprised that it worked.
“You should go sit inside,” you scold him, only half-heartedly. Because seeing him up and about reassures you, somehow.
He cocks an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The weather is beautiful, I’d rather sit outside.”
You roll your eyes, but you do let him walk down the stairs to sit by the fireplace while you go inside to take a quick shower and get dressed. You decide to make some food for him, though you know he shouldn’t eat too much right now, after not having eaten for a while. He has to start slowly, and you don’t even know if he’s hungry anyway.
You settle for preparing a cup of chicken noodle soup for him, so at least it isn’t too heavy on his stomach. You bring it to him outside, as he’s just calmly observing the lake.
“Thank you,” he says, voice small as he grabs the cup and the spoon.
You sit next to him, trying not to watch him eat too much. His hair is sticking to his forehead in some places, and you have the distinct thought that he’ll probably need to shower. At least there’s plenty of rain water in the bucket for the water pump.
“What have you been doing while I was out?” he asks.
You spare him a quick glance before losing your gaze in the rocks of the fireplace. “I’ve studied. Checked up on you. Not much honestly.”
He chuckles. “I’d argue that caring for someone is a lot.”
You glance at him, cheeks burning at the sight of his teasing smile. “Not really.”
He chuckles again, but doesn’t say anything more before eating another spoonful of soup. He’s almost done with the cup when he actually does speak, asking, “How long was I out?”
“A day and a half,” you answer. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t slept longer.”
You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m made of tough stuff.”
You snicker, but you don’t say anything, just focusing on where you’re kicking at the dirt. When he’s done with the cup, he puts it down on the ground next to him, before sitting back in the chair. He stretches out his legs in front of him, sighing deeply.
“I still feel out of it,” he admits, and you meet his gaze.
“You can sleep more,” you tell him. “I’d just like to check on the…”
You don’t even have to finish your sentence. He immediately turns so his side is to you, and you have to admit you’ve done a perfectly good job with the stitches.
“So?” he asks.
“All good.” You pat his shoulder. “You can sit comfortably again.”
He’s smiling when he does so, and his gaze wanders to the lake once again. “I’m sorry I…” he trails off, and he chuckles softly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little swim earlier.”
You have the decency to flush furiously red, and you shrug your shoulders. “No worries, I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon.”
You fall in a comfortable silence, surprisingly so. Rare stars dot the darkening sky up above, and all that can be heard for a moment is the flap of a bird’s wing as it moves from branches to branches in the trees by the water. The breeze picks up as you watch the little bird, and the leaves dance, loudly so. You’d think it’d be deafening in the silence between you and him, but it’s strangely reassuring.
As if, after all, you found your way back to the field. Only this time it’s completely different, as if decades have passed between you. At least, that’s how it feels like.
You notice San has dozed off in the chair next to you when you were about to speak to him again. To ask him how he’s truly been, in the years between then and now. Hoping to avoid mentioning what led to him coming to you, yesterday, a whole eternity ago.
You watch him, heart aching in your chest. Aching to reach out and brush his hair away from his forehead, aching to heal the cut on his cheek with a gentle swipe of your fingers. If only medicine was so simple…
It seems the peace of the early evening wasn’t going to stay around, because you notice dark clouds rolling in the distance, streaks of lightning cutting through them. Slowly inching closer, menacingly so, and you gently wake San up with your hand on his wrist.
He startles awake, hand shooting to his waist, finding nothing there. It startles you, and you both stare at each other for a moment until you realize what he was looking for.
His gun.
“San…” you let out and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling shut as he breathes in and out raggedly.
“Sorry.”
“San, I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t open his eyes, refuses to let you see the vulnerability you glimpsed behind his piercing gaze. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s terrified, deadly so.
“Let’s go in,” you tell him, softly. Because you’re afraid you’ll spook him, when he’s clearly been living in fear long enough. “There’s a storm coming.”
He nods, carefully getting up without sparing you a glance. He heads inside, hand clutching his side again, while you pick up the chicken noodle soup cup before following him.
You’ve refilled the generator before swimming, so you know it’s been charging the batteries for a while now. You don’t fear ending up in the dark with San, and there’s also always the option of using the lamps and candles your uncle always leave here in case of an emergency.
The storm doesn’t roll in until a little later. You’ve forced San to put a shirt on – mostly so your eyes would stop betraying you, dropping to his toned body whenever he talked to you. You’re currently sitting on the couch, and as the rain starts, hammering against the window behind you, you pull your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms comfortably around them.
“How hard do the storms hit here?” he asks, eyes trailed to the world outside.
You follow his gaze, right as wind picks up to make the water hit the window even harder, creating a cacophony that forces you to speak louder for him to hear. “Pretty hard.”
He nods, and he glances once at you. “Fun.”
You smile, because you’ve always liked storms. Have always found them electrifying, energizing.
“Do you remember when we used to go to the field when it rained?” San asks, taking you by surprise.
Making your heart clench so hard in your chest you have to take a wobbly breath in. If he notices he doesn’t say.
“We were always in that field,” you remind him. “No matter the weather.”
It’s his turn to smile fondly. “It got so pretty with all the wildflowers. But you were afraid of the bees.”
“Bees are scary!” You laugh, and he echoes it with a soft chuckle. “You’re the one that almost pissed yourself when we saw the rat.”
That makes him laugh, and he winces in pain clutching his side. “Gosh, is it supposed to keep on hurting like this?”
It douses your enthusiasm and your smile falls. “Well, it was a solid cut.”
His eyes get lost in the void as he takes on a wistful expression. “I’m surprised I didn’t die.”
You gulp, watching his profile carefully. “It wasn’t deep enough for that…” you trail off, even though you spent most of yesterday and today being convinced he’d die. “At least they didn’t… stab you.”
“They would have if… Wooyoung didn’t shoot.”
You remain silent, not knowing what to reply to that. San interprets that as discomfort, and he quickly adds, “He didn’t shoot them. Just… in the air. It attracted the police.”
You remember the cars zooming past the diner a lifetime ago, and you nod your head. “I heard.”
He seems surprised, and his gaze finally finds yours again. “You did?”
“Yeah.” You chuckle, a little awkwardly. “I hear a lot of shootings, in the diner.”
His eyes widen, mouth falling open cutely. “You do?”
You don’t know what he expected. The diner is right between Ateez and Bangtan territory, and as much as it is a safe space, it is also near enough to dangerous grounds, and you’ve heard plenty of shooting in your time working there.
“Always,” you admit. “It can get scary sometimes… but you also get used to it.”
He looks sad. Infinitely so, like a lost puppy. That’s when the first thunder hits, so sharp and sudden you startle. Not quite as much as San, who ducks, wincing in pain as he clutches his side.
“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” you ask, in time with another thunderclap, though this time it’s more of a rumble.
You watch his chest as he breathes in and out quickly. “Just… fuck.”
Now, concern grows in you, and you gently put a hand on his shoulder. “San…”
He meets your gaze, and there’s so much white in his it makes you think of a terrified prey. And then it clicks: he thought it was a gunshot.
“Hey,” you quickly say, moving closer to him. You’re on the side of the stitches, so you still keep a safe distance between the two of you, but you grab his hand nonetheless. “You’re okay.”
“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say.
“I promise, no one’s going to find you here.”
He remains silent this time around, eyes still boring into yours. You take that as a cue to continue, because you don’t want him to panic. You want his thoughts here, with you, and not miles away in a city he should have escaped from years ago. You wish he had, knowing the atrocities that he would have avoided.
Would he have escaped with you, had you stayed just a little longer?
“I killed someone,” he says, and you balk at the silver lining his gaze. “I fucking killed him.”
You don’t know how to help. All you can think to do is cup his cheek, right as he starts breathing even faster. “Breathe with me, San.”
He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes fall to your mouth. You make a good show of inhaling slowly, before exhaling even slower. It takes him a moment but he eventually follows your lead.
It breaks when there’s another sharp thunderclap, and he flinches, eyes shutting instinctively.
“Hey hey hey,” you say again, even more gentle, softer than before. You move even closer, and when a tear slips out of his closed eyes, you pull him into a hug, careful not to brush his side.
His head falls on your shoulder, and one of his arms wrap around your waist. A thunderclap later, he starts sobbing, fist balling the fabric of your shirt in his tight hold, and you let him do it. You let him hold onto you, hoping it’ll keep him here with you. Hoping it’ll keep him afloat during the storm that’s raging both outside and in his mind.
“It’s going to be okay,” you breathe, and you feel like you’re lying to him.
Because how can he ever be safe from the ghosts inside of his skull? The ghosts wandering the halls of him, tainting his soul with their presence?
“He’s never going to smile again,” San chokes out. “Everyone loved him. Even in Ateez… Jungkook was the best of us. The only one who had a shot at getting out of it.”
You don’t know how good he could have been, if he was a member of Bangtan. In your mind, you’d always seen Bangtan as the bad guys, mostly because they weren’t with San. Even when you had been struggling to evade that life, you’d still rooted for him.
It’s strange how you just realize that now, as you’re holding him while he breaks.
“You didn’t mean to kill him,” you remind San, still speaking with the calmest voice you can muster up. “You didn’t want to, San. You’re not a murderer.”
“I’m still a killer,” he says. He sounds angry, and you reckon he might be angry at himself. Might be consumed with his actions, dragged to hell before his time as his mind gets stuck replaying the events.
“Maybe,” you answer. “But,” you quickly add when he stiffens in your arms. “But you can spend the rest of your life making up for it. Repenting.”
He doesn’t respond right away, as he breaks some more, sobs rocking through him. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when you were younger and in love. It makes your gaze wet, yet you hold on strong for him. You keep your head held high, and you allow him to break in the safe haven that your arms represent.
Because to him, you’ve never been tainted. You’ve always been the ideal he was trying to pursue, albeit the wrong way.
“I don’t know how to repent,” he admits when he calms down. He turns his head, and his nose brushes along the skin of your neck, slightly tickling you. You ignore the feeling, especially as he adds, “Ateez… it’s all I’ve ever known.”
You run a hand on his back, soothingly. “It isn’t.”
Because there was you, too. There was the summer field and the twinkling stars and Artic Monkeys on the radio. There was the two of you, petal-soft kisses exchanged in the dead of night and in the brightness of day. There were rainy days, and then there was rain. There was him walking away, and you hate yourself then.
You wish you had stopped him that day, had kept him from going on to become what he’s become now. A person he clearly hates, someone that has a bounty on his head. Someone that doesn’t even believe they’re allowed redemption and you reckon you don’t even know if he is.
You only know that seeing him break is bending your will, the way the wind outside is bending the trees. All you can hope is that, like the tall trees, you won’t break.
*****
                The storm calmed down sometime around midnight. San ended up falling asleep on the couch, as you’d reassuringly ran your hand through his hair, trying to keep him with you. Though you think he’s been slipping through your fingers, into his demons.
You’ll find a way to bring him back. You have to. Turns out it comes faster than you think, as the electricity runs out and you busy yourself with lighting some candles throughout the main room. When you’re done, you put a blanket over him, and you almost let out a startled scream as his eyes shot open.
“Hello,” you say, resting a hand on your heart to tame the wild beats.
You’re about to move away, but he grabs your hand, forcing you to sit next to him. You don’t really resist, though you think you probably should. You’re weak – weaker still when he murmurs your name.
“San,” you whisper in return, and you’re aware your voice carries too much longing. Longing for a past when life’s atrocities hadn’t changed either of you yet.
“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and a tear rolls on his cheek.
You dry it, fingers lingering there. “It’s okay.”
“Angel…”
The nickname brings you back to laser quests and favours and warmth creeping up your stomach for the first time in your life.
“I’m no angel,” you breathe.
“You saved me.”
You hold his gaze. There’s something hiding behind his pupils. The need, to forget. You don’t think you have the ability to run his mind through amnesia, but still you brush his cheek again.
“You deserved saving.”
His eyes glaze once more, though this time no tears fall. “It’s hard to believe it.”
“Do you still believe love is a laser quest?” you ask him, out of the blue.
As if you’re a line straight of that Arctic Monkeys song you listened to the first time you kissed.
“Maybe,” he says, a parallel to that first time you had asked the question. “Maybe it is.”
You can’t resist. You lean down, and you press the gentlest kiss on his lips. His are dry, but the way he sighs with you against him is soft, for your heart and for your mind, and you kiss him again. He lets you lead, follows the dance of your lips, lets you run your hand through his sweaty hair.
Even if you shouldn’t. Even if you know everything you’re doing right now is a mistake, you still find yourself deepening the kiss, opening your lips to slip your tongue out, teasing his mouth. One of his hands finds your thigh, and he squeezes ever so slightly as his tongue finds yours, and you let out a breathy sound.
When you pull away, eyes fluttering open, you find San’s gaze. You think about the boy he was then, the girl you were then. You think about who you were, together. And when he says, “Please make me forget”, you lean again, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss.
For a reason unknown, the summer sky and falling stars pale in comparison to this kiss. Maybe because it holds longing, nostalgia. Hope that life would have turned out differently. For a moment, you picture what it would have been like, without Ateez. With you and him in the field, in your family house, in a car driving by the beach, windows down as the sun sets and you sing along to the radio, wind blowing in your hair.
You see a whole life there, with you and him marrying in the field, under the sun that had been the host of your first love. You imagine growing up by his side, attending college with him in the big city. You imagine how he would have become the owner of his own construction company, like his dad before him. You picture kids laughing, running around the house he would have built for you. You see Christmas light, late nights antics by the firelight.
You see it all, and you know you’ll never have any of it. But if you can have tonight, then you’ll grab it before it slips through your fingers. Before he walks away in the rain again, only to be a memory you cherish in the deepest corners of your heart.
“How?” you ask him when you pull away.
Mostly, you’re asking how to make him forget. But you’re also asking how it is that the feelings are still there, even stronger now, as if they’ve grown up with you, yet haven’t changed like you have. Like they are a constant of an ever-changing universe.
“Kiss me again,” he asks, begs, and you give in. You kiss him wildly, always making sure not to touch his side and the stitches.
You know sex would be a stupid idea, especially with the fresh stitches. But also because he’s barely had time to recover. But he doesn’t really give you a choice, pulling you on top of him until you’re straddling him.
You sit back on him for a second, eyes trailing to the spot where you know the stitches are. “This isn’t a good idea,” you whisper through the ragged breaths caused by the ministrations of his mouth on yours and of yours on his.
“I’m fine,” he says, and you know you shouldn’t believe him. But when he pulls you down again, large hand holding the nape of your neck firmly so you don’t escape, you want to believe him.
Want to believe the beauty of his lies, like you had when you were younger.
From where you’re perched, you can feel the start of his erection pressing against you, and you moan softly in the kiss, rolling your hips. His mouth falls open, and you capture his tongue, sucking on it once before you pull away, leaving hot kisses on his jaw.
“Sit on my face,” he says, and he sounds out of his mind. Crazed, a little like you too feel at the moment.
“What?”
“Can’t get hurt if you sit on my face, angel,” he explains, and then hisses when you suck a hickey on his neck.
You let him pull your shirt off, unclasping your bra yourself as you sit back on his lap. He cups your breasts, rolling your erect nipples between his thumbs and indexes. You moan again, grinding your hips into his, and he hisses once more.
“You want to taste me?” you ask, head throwing back as he pinches your nipples hard.
“I’d fuck you, but you’re the doctor. Can’t risk fucking up my stitches, huh?” he replies, voice low and husky.
Your core heats up, pussy clenching around nothing. This is a side of him you’ve never seen, though you spy desperation beneath it. Like he thinks he doesn’t have forever, when it comes to you.
He’s right. Because tomorrow, you’ll have to go back into town, into the hellscape you call home. What will be left of the two of you then?
So when he tugs at your pants, you give in and get up, taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion. You step out of them, blood heating up by the way he’s looking at you through half-lidded eyes, gaze burning on you.
You have half a thought that you could probably ride him instead of his face, but when you see his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, making them glisten in the candlelight, you need to know what it’ll feel like against you.
So you straddle his face as he guides you down, large hands pushing on your thighs until your pussy is a hairsbreadth away from his lips. He blows on it, and your eyes shut with sensitivity. You clutch the cushion of the couch, hoping it’ll help steady you, but the moment his tongue flicks at your clit, you realize nothing will be able to steady you. Yet you still hold onto it, especially as he dives his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juice. He moans in contentment, before moving to your clit again. And his tongue is wicked down there, like it knows exactly what you like.
You grab a handful of his hair, grinding into his face. You’re pretty sure he’s chuckling down there, and then he unleashes himself. Sucking hard, alternating circling motions to teasing you with his teeth. You’d expect the latter to hurt, but the way he does it just makes you see stars, and your pussy clenches around nothing again.
San is deadly good with his mouth. Both with crafting lies and pulling moans out of you, and your thighs tighten against his face as he sucks particularly hard, before dipping his tongue inside of you. His nose brushes your clit, and then he forces you to properly sit on him.
The way his tongue moves inside of you, lapping up your juices while opening you up, has you on the brink of an orgasm in no time. Especially as he makes you grind again, holding you tight into place. When one of his hands moves from around your thigh to reach your clit, you cry out, head throwing back.
He’s quick to rub at your sensitive clit, and you grab one of your breasts, massaging it mindlessly before you pinch your nipple, hard, right in time with a skilled swipe of his tongue. Your orgasm meets you there, shaking through you as it explodes in a blinding flash of light. You moan, loudly, something that resembles his name, and he keeps you going, guides you through your high until you cringe with oversensitivity.
Only then does he let you climb off from his face. You stand on wobbly legs, before deciding to sit next to him, and you catch sight of the smirk on his lips. It makes you blush, right as you realize what you’ve just done.
When you realize what kind of sinful activity he’s dragged you in, this time around.
“Gosh,” is all you manage to say.
He chuckles, clearly proud with himself. “That felt good?”
You worry at your bottom lip, eyes going down to the tent in his pants. You want to pleasure him too, to take him in your mouth and make him feel good, but he stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.
“Don’t.”
You still and you meet his gaze with slightly-widened eyes. “Why not?”
His features turn somber, haunted, and the heat of the moment passes so quickly you think it might have been a figment of your imagination.
Were you really riding his face just a moment ago?
“Please just lay next to me,” he says, barely even a whisper.
You don’t know a lot of men that would choose cuddling over getting a blowjob, but if that is what he wants, then you’ll give it to him. You lay next to him, glad that the injured side is closer to the couch. That way, you can cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around you.
“Angel,” he murmurs after a time. “You’re a fucking angel. I think you’re my salvation.”
You highly doubt you hold this kind of power, but you don’t want to tell him. Have never been good at weaving beautiful lies for him to believe.
“We should stay here,” he continues. “Forever.”
And you wish you could. Wish reality didn’t exist, didn’t call for you to go back to your regular life like you’ve never been here with him. But you know tomorrow exists, and you’ll have to leave.
“We should have stayed in the field,” you choose to answer. “Under the shooting stars.”
“I wished for a lifetime with you, then,” he admits. “I wished I’d never have to let you go.”
You’d wished for a similar thing, but life is far too cruel to allow a world of first loves.
“Why did you…” you trail off. The question has haunted your sleepless nights for a long time after the break-up. Even years later, you’d still think about it sometimes, wondering if nostalgia would choke you up. “Why did you decide to join the gang?”
He tenses next to you. But you start tracing a mindless circle on his chest, through the shirt, and it distracts him enough for him to reply. “I thought I didn’t have a choice.”
“Did you?”
His voice holds the weight of the world when he says, “I did. And I made the wrong one.”
You want to cry, but you’re older now. You’re not the teenager who thought she was going to die from losing him anymore. You know what living without Choi San is like, and as much as it hurts, you know that it’s doable.
“You made the one you believed was right,” you say carefully. “But I do wish you had made a different one.”
He holds you a little tighter, as if that will make it so tomorrow never comes. “Me too.”
There’s an eternity of flickering candlelight on the ceiling, of the circles you trace on his chest and of your breathings forming a melody. Outside, the wind has died down, and the world is silent except from an occasional cricket braving the world after the storm.
“Where will you go, once you graduate?” he asks, taking you by surprise.
Because he knows. It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed.
“As far away from here as I can.”
“I hope you find peace, wherever you go,” he whispers. “I hope you forget all about how we grew up in a hellhole.”
Do you feel bad for saying it? Maybe. But you can’t help saying it anyway. “I will, San.”
And like that rainy day years ago, you think you can see him walk away.
*****
Seven years later
The winter sun is strangely bright, up above. You’d think it will warm you up, but the cold is relentless, violent, and it sneaks into your coat as you walk out of the hospital. You’ve just finished a thirty-hour shift, and you can’t wait to be home.
To take a shower and forget that you’ve lost a patient today.
But you’ve saved another. A young man, with a stab wound in his ribs that should have killed him. But you saved him, stabilized his condition to the point you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Which is the only reason why you’re allowing yourself to leave now.
You’re never able to leave until you know your patients are okay. It’s been that way since your first patient, in a cabin in the woods you’ve done your best to forget.
You’d let San stay, after that weekend. He had given you the number of one of his friends, so you could get some clothes for him, and you’d gone back the next weekend. Bringing him the clothes, making love to him under the moonlight as if that would change the ending.
The following week, you had gone back to find the cabin empty. He’d left a note behind.
I hope I can find you again, wherever you go.
You kept the note. It’s in your bedside table, back at home, in the nice apartment you’ve been able to rent for yourself with all the money you’ve been making now. Enough to pay back student loans from med school, enough to reassure you that never again will you struggle.
You’ve never seen San again after. He hasn’t found you, and you haven’t searched for him. Have only looked up his name a couple of times, in the months following his disappearing, scared you’d find out that he was found dead in a ditch. But his name never came up, and you wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had managed to find a place where Bangtan couldn’t reach him.
You found peace, on your side of the country. Life is kinder here, though it still holds the same atrocities. You wonder if it’s the novelty of the city, or maybe if you’ve just grown old enough to be able to withstand the bad that the world throws your way. It’s hard to tell – you haven’t kept contact with anyone from back home, except Jae-on.
Jae-on, who’s moved with you when you’ve decided to come here, like he said he would. Jae-on, who asked you to marry him in late October, and you said yes. The ring sits heavy on your finger, and you mindlessly play with it.
In another world, you would already be married to Choi San. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of that world – a piercing gaze in the morning, a smile and a kiss to your temple. Talks about angels, children screaming in happiness. In another world, you’d be pregnant again, waiting patiently to add another piece of you and him to this world.
It’s fun to think about, sometimes, but you’ve been good at forgetting. Like you told him you would – most times, you’ve forgotten all about Choi San.
But today, you had a patient that reminded you of him. So you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to think about that note tucked in the bottom drawer of your bedside table, hidden under the thick socks you never use.
You allow yourself to think about the cabin in the woods, about the field where you would have gotten married had you been in that picturesque world you like to imagine. You think about laser quests and first kiss and rainy days and meteors. You think about summer, about wildflowers and him.
You’re so lost in thought you miss your stop home, and you begrudgingly get out at the next one. You’re tired, and your hands are shaking as you pull your phone out of your tote bag, wanting to text Jae-on that you’re going to be home late because you missed your stop. You walk to the other side of the tracks, sighing when you see a five-minutes wait for the next subway.
At least the sun is high in the sky, even though it is dreadfully cold. You shiver, putting your phone back in your tote bag so you can hide your hands in your sleeves again, hoping it’ll preserve them from the cold.
In your exhaustion, you forgot your gloves back at the hospital, you realize. It’s strange that you only realize now, and you reckon you really need to sleep, because your brain isn’t even working right anymore.
You sigh, glancing at the display showing the time. Still four minutes to wait. You think at this rhythm you might freeze in your spot before the next subway comes. You try to hide your face in the lapel of your coat, but a movement on the other platform attracts your gaze.
A man is helping an older woman climb down the stairs. She’s speaking loudly, which might be what attracted your gaze in the first place. You follow them as they walk down the stairs, and then when the man turns towards you, you meet his piercing gaze.
He smiles, and you realize that maybe, all those years ago, he was not spinning lies to you after all.
☆☆☆☆☆
Gosh yeahhh rereading it had me ralize that it is a lot sadder than I remembered it to be. At least we got an open ending ... :') What did we think? Should I write about other groups more often? Let me know what you think! All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate
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sluttywoozi · 11 months
Text
What Should We Become?
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Title from Turbulence by Ateez
For: @sluttywonwoo my bestie and birthday queen
Rating: M (18+) | WC: 9.0k | Pairing: Yeosang x f!reader x San
You and San have been dating for years, you're well aware of his penchant for doing anything for anyone he loves. You just didn't know that extended to asking you to fuck his best friend, not that you mind.
Tags: est. relationship, boyfriend!san, bestfriend!yeosang, threesome, fluff, smut
Notes: boyfriend!san, you live together, pov lowkey all over the place bc i wanted to know what everyone was thinking soz
Warnings: so many feelings i did NOT plan for, food/alc mention, mention of past toxic relationship (yeo's), jealous san, mentions of san being possessive but specifically not in a gross way, nipple play, biting, oral (f and m rec.), fingering, squirting, they both have big dicks, protected piv, unprotected piv, spitroasting (hate that term so sorry), san cums inside, bc not discussed but they’re safe, open ending
Reader Notes: a bit more specific than usual bc this is for the bestie, ‘girlfriend’ used many times, she/her pronouns used, has breasts and a vagina, mention of marks showing on her skin, WAP
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You fumble with the wrapping on the popcorn, cursing under your breath and trying to tear the plastic as Temi weaves in and out of your feet. San’s hand hovers just out of reach, ready and waiting to do it for you, but you pretend not to see it. He loves doing things for you and you love that about him, both because it means he’s considerate and also because it means you have to do less things, but sometimes you want to do them on your own. You know popcorn isn’t exactly the most impactful opportunity to make a stand, but it’s all about baby steps. 
The bag is finally turning in the microwave when his fingers catch at your shirt and he starts tugging you into his orbit. He’s big, broad, but still lean enough that you think you could lift him, probably, not that you’ve ever tried. You’re musing about how many piggyback rides he’s given you and how little you’ve given him when he asks the question. 
“Baby, how would you feel about sleeping with Yeosang?” He sounds nervous, his voice full of trepidation and the fabric of your top clenched in his hand. 
“Like a sleepover? That’s fine with me, I can take the couch if you guys want to share the bed, I know you like your snuggle time. Just know I'm taking Temi with me,” you respond mildly, unsure as to why he’s so on edge. 
You can see the pain enter his eyes when he realizes he’ll need to explain further. 
“No, I mean, like- Ugh! This is so hard!” He sucks in a deep breath before expelling it along with the words, “I want you to have sex with Yeosang!”
“Ohhhh. Yeah, alright,” you shrug, like he asked if you’d eat Italian for dinner, not have sex with another man. A man who isn’t your boyfriend. A man who happens to be your boyfriend’s best friend. A man who happens to be your friend. A man you happen to find incredibly attractive. 
“You agreed to that way too easily,” San pouts, pulling you closer with his arms wrapped around your waist. His fingers dig in possessively, as if to remind you who you really want, who you really love. Like you could ever forget. 
You met San and Yeosang at the same time and spent some time with both of them as friends before San confessed his feelings for you. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about Yeosang at all in those few weeks, about Yeosang and San, and just how their dynamic would translate to sex. 
But no matter how curious you were, and how prim and polished and perfect Yeosang is (and how much you want to wreck that perfection), San will always be the only man for you. 
How could you be with anyone else when San is the only one who knows you? When he not only gives you his pickles but orders an extra side of them, just for you. When he started wearing socks to bed because you hate other peoples’ feet touching yours. When he always makes sure you have your favorite lunch to eat with your favorite show, and always buys those star pimple patches you like, and brought home a soaking wet, shivering, brown ball of fur that you promptly wrapped up in a fresh-from-the-dryer towel and named Temi. 
San can read all of your moods, knows when you need extra attention or when you need solitude, knows when you want him all over you and when you can’t stand to be touched, knows how to calm you down and how to ramp you up, knows everything there is to know about you. 
He even knows the less cute parts, the ones you try to keep hidden away from everyone else. The jealousy, the insecurity, the fear of inadequacy, he knows it all. 
And he loves you. He loves you so much it shines out of every pore, so much it fills in every crack in your facade, so much he makes you glow with it. There’s no ‘but’, no ‘despite’, he loves every single thing about you because they’re about you. 
The best part is, you’re not even special. 
Sure, you’re special to him, but you’re not the only one he loves like this. He loves all of his friends with such intensity, knows them all better than he knows himself, would do anything for them. Even ask his girlfriend to have sex with them, apparently. 
Making the decision to ask must have been beyond difficult for him. San is made up of a myriad of lovely qualities, but one of the less lovely ones is his possessiveness. It never crosses the bridge into toxicity, never scares you, but he does get a certain look on his face when his friends get too touchy with you. Or when a guy asks to buy you a drink at the bar after he goes to the bathroom. Or when your ex texts you or your male study buddy invites you out for dinner or, or, or. 
But… you like it, if you’re being honest. You like when his eyes get heavy and warm on you and his grip gets tight and his body gets even bigger, somehow. Maybe you shouldn’t enjoy his posturing, but you just can’t help it when you consider what often follows. 
(San blowing your back out.)
(That’s what follows.)
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The discussion of details comes later, when your popcorn has cooled enough to eat and San has gotten over his petty jealousy at the thought of you being touched by someone else. He’d gotten petulant about it after like he hadn’t considered that part of the equation, but he seems to have grown accustomed to it. There will be rules, of course, such as, “He can’t cum inside of you. That’s just for me.”
And, “No marks, either.”
“And he has to wear a condom.”
“And-”
“San, we don’t even know if Yeo wants to fuck me yet. Why don’t we get that squared away before we lay out all of the boundaries, okay?” 
“Of course he wants to fuck you,” San almost sounds offended at the idea that he wouldn’t, “But, yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he concedes. 
“What brought this on, anyway? Is this… something you’re into?” You ask, not expecting a yes but also not expecting the answer you get. 
“No, definitely not. You know I’m not a good sharer. It’s just that Yeo kind of wants to get back into dating but he’s a bit… unsteady after his last experience. I want him to have a good one before he puts himself out there again, for a confidence boost. And I know I can trust him with you, and you with him.” 
It’s… well, shockingly isn’t the right word, because San is kind to a fault, sometimes, but it’s an unexpectedly altruistic reason, and you’re all the more glad you agreed. You would have been fine with it if he just wanted to watch another man fuck you because you think that’s hot, but to know that he really just wants to take care of his best friend makes you even more sure of your decision. 
It helps that Yeosang looks like a prince and acts like one, too. You’ve wondered what he’s like in bed, if he’s the same or if he’s less refined, less quiet, less polite. He’s so strong, you wonder if he’ll throw you around or hold you down, or if he’ll handle you gently and hold your hand. You wouldn’t mind either, if you’re being honest. 
The weight of San’s suspicious gaze tears you from your thoughts. You send him an innocent smile and lean in, batting your eyelashes and puckering up for a kiss. He obliges, of course, deepening it before you can even think to pull away, his tongue gliding over your bottom lip and working its way inside. You love how he kisses you, so thoroughly, so passionately, like there’s nothing in the world he’d rather be doing than you. 
By the time he pulls away, you’re breathless and brainless, all thoughts of anyone but San wiped from your mind. 
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San decides to invite Yeosang over when you’re at one of your The Gals nights to pop the question. He literally feels like he’s about to propose as he paces the apartment, doing some last minute tidying and nervously smoothing his shirt every three minutes. It’s not like Yeosang’s never come over before - he’s nearly a regular fixture at this point. You and San had even considered giving him a key. 
This is different though, he’s about to ask his best friend if he wants to have sex with his girlfriend. He still can’t believe he even thought of the idea, let alone pitched it to you, but here he is, rehearsing different ways of broaching the topic as he anxiously awaits Yeosang’s arrival. 
He can’t be too direct or he’ll scare Yeosang away - he can be a bit skittish sometimes - but he also can’t dance around it too much or Yeo won’t figure out what he’s talking about. The guy is smart as hell but kind of slow on the uptake on occasion, a trait San is beyond fond of, though it makes it difficult to be subtle about things like this. 
‘Things like this,’ as if he’s ever done anything of this nature before, he thinks with a wry laugh and shakes his head. Sharing you was never even a concept in his mind until Yeosang had confided in him that he was scared to get back out there after his ex. He’d brainstormed a few ways to help but kept going back to how much you’d helped him through sex when you first got together. He’d been completely inexperienced and insanely nervous until you started guiding him, and everything flowed from there. He wished you could help Yeosang the same way, and then realized the only thing stopping you from doing just that was him. It would have been selfish not to at least ask if you’d be interested, and though he was a little surprised (and annoyed) that you agreed with no hesitation, he still believes this is the right thing to do. 
So when two timid knocks sound on the door, San’s nerves settle to a low simmer and he’s able to greet his best friend as normally as possible. 
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The normalcy only lasts for so long, his anxiety ticking back up the longer he makes awkward small talk with Yeosang. He knows Yeo can sense that something is off but he also knows he'll never say anything about it, will just sit here and watch TV and talk about nothing until San is ready to tell him. It’s a wonderful quality of Yeosang’s, the fact that he can read him so well and knows not to dig, but today San wishes he would. He’s not sure he can find it in himself to ask Yeosang if he’d like to fuck you, and a good lead in might be the only way he can bring it up. 
Hours pass and San’s shoulders start to ache with tension. He still hasn’t said anything about the actual reason he invited Yeosang over today, and he’s starting to feel like he could vibrate out of his skin. He really didn’t think it would be this hard, definitely thought it would be more difficult to ask you rather than Yeosang, but here he is. It’s nearing bedtime and you’ll likely return home soon, and then what's San supposed to do? Ask Yeosang if he wants to have sex with you while you’re right here?
Wait. 
Wait, that might be a good idea. You hadn’t discussed when exactly this would happen but from your texts tonight, San already knows you’re turned on, and Yeosang is here, so…
So... he stalls until your key starts turning in the lock and Temi starts screeching in reaction, knowing exactly what that sound means. He’s sure Yeosang noticed his change in demeanor but he doesn’t bother explaining, knowing that Yeo is going to be very confused for however long it takes to go through everything.
He doesn’t want to just spring his plan on you so he leaps up and jogs over from the couch to greet you at the door, shouting, “One sec!” at the living room before pulling you into the farthest corner of the kitchen. You follow with a huff, yelling, “Hi Yeosang!” and turning to San only when Yeo responds, "Hiii." 
“Babe, hear me out,” San begs with his hands on your shoulders as he watches the confusion spread on your face. 
“You haven’t said anything to hear out yet,” you remind him, arching a brow at him in expectation. “You just dragged me in here and you didn’t even let me say hi to Yeosang.” 
“You did say hi to Yeosang, just now-,”
“That doesn’t count and you know it.” 
“Okay, maybe you’re right, but I have to tell you something!”
“Okay, so tell me! I’m not tipsy anymore and I either want to shower or fuck so-,”
“That’s good because I want to ask Yeo right now if he wants to fuck you tonight. What are your thoughts?” 
He hadn’t planned on sounding so frustrated when he told you but when the words start to spill out, he lets them. It doesn’t help that you’re really hot when you’re annoyed and he’s a bit upset that he’ll have to let Yeo have you first if everything goes well. 
“Um.”
The third voice startles him, makes his fingers clench your shoulders a bit too hard and at the breath hissed through your teeth, he lets go. He pets at the sore spots, whispering, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” until you grab his hands and tell him, “Sannie, it’s okay. Let’s focus on Yeo.” 
He turns cautiously, unsure of what he’ll find as he shifts his attention to the statue that was his best friend. Yeosang stands perfectly still, his eyes alarmed and his mouth half open. San can’t tell if he’s scared or grossed out or offended or all three, and this suddenly feels like the worst idea he’s ever had. Not just the telling him part but the whole thing. Regret settles heavily in his stomach, mortification closing up his throat as he tries to find the right words to say. He’s about to start with the most teary apology of his life when Yeosang starts to speak. 
“Um, I do want to- I would. Like that. I would like to do that,” Yeosang says firmly, if a bit clumsily. He nods emphatically as he speaks, seriously, like this is an honor that’s been bestowed upon him, and San supposes it is. You haven’t fucked many people other than San and San has fucked nobody other than you, so to let someone into that aspect of your relationship is a sign of just how much you both trust Yeosang and each other. 
“Oh,” You and San exhale in unison, “Well, that makes things easier,” San continues. 
Shifting to lean back against the counter, San crosses his arms and looks directly into Yeosang’s eyes, “We have some rules.” You roll yours, pulling San’s arms away from his chest enough to slide between them and rest your back against him to break the rising tension. 
“I like rules,” Yeosang assures you both excitedly, looking more relaxed now that he knows there are restrictions. 
“One: you’re wearing a condom. I got a few different sizes, just in case. Two: you’re not cumming inside of her, even with the condom. Three: no marking-,”
“But you can bite!” You interject helpfully, making San nod and repeat, “Yes, biting is okay, just don’t leave any marks.” 
Yeosang smiles primly, nodding along as well. The look in his eye tells San he’s going over the rules in his head and he has to push down the wave of fondness in order to maintain his stern facade. As well as he knows Yeo would never do anything to hurt you, San still feels like he needs to protect you in a situation like this, and the rules make him feel better about entrusting you to someone else. (San also knows you’re a fully grown person and can make your own decisions, but you’re his girlfriend too and he loves you, deal with it.)
“And if at any point any of us wants to stop, all we have to do is say so,” San declares, making sure you and Yeosang understand that the situation is under your full control. He’s planning on just being a spectator, but if you’re up for it after Yeosang…
You and Yeo agree, exchanging nervous smiles and glancing toward the bedroom. It’s clear you’re both becoming antsy, but San has one last thing to say. 
“Okay, I just want us to remember that we’re all friends here. Well, babe, we’re more than that, obviously, and Yeo, you know you’re my man, but what I’m trying to say is that there’s no reason to be nervous because it’s all love here, right?”
“Right,” you parrot with a squeeze to his forearm as Yeosang smiles and twists his fingers together. He’s clearly still nervous but you seem perfectly at ease and San is reminded once again why this is a good idea. You’re just what Yeo needs to find his confidence again and San hopes that tonight is the first step to him finding his own you, too. 
Things are awkward once you all reach the bedroom. Temi is asleep on the bed so you have to take her to her favorite blanket in the living room. She stays asleep, the sweet little log she is, but you leave out a plate of food just in case she wakes up. It strikes you that you haven’t really gotten to prepare at all and though you’re used to just going at it with San, you need some time to get ready for Yeosang. You feel a bit disheveled after Gals’ Night so you continue straight into the bathroom to strip your dirty clothes and start the shower. 
Peeking your head out from behind the door, you tell the boys, “Just gimme five! Why don’t you get the condoms out, babe?” 
San does so, presenting Yeosang with a grocery bag of four boxes, sizes small to extra-large. He really did cover all of his bases (there were two possibilities that, as his best friend and also someone who’s seen him in wet swim trunks, San knew he could ignore). Yeo avoids his eyes and dips a hand into the bag, grabbing the extra-large box and clumsily pawing at the packaging. He finally rips it open, a roll of 36 condoms spilling out onto the bed, much to his obvious consternation. 
“There weren’t smaller boxes?” Yeosang asks, eyeing the multicolored packages splayed on the sheets. 
“Better safe than sorry,” San responds with a shrug, sweeping all but one condom back into the box before tossing the bag into the closet. 
Yeosang can’t help but agree, stepping back to sit carefully on the bed next to the condom, his hands folded neatly in his lap and his gaze anywhere but on San. He can hear the shower, hear the muted smack of water on tile, knows you’re naked in there. Can almost imagine the drops rolling their way down your body, slipping over the curves that he definitely has not been very well aware of since he met you. 
This feels insane, this whole situation, but Yeosang would rather die than leave right now. It’s not like he’s been lying in wait to steal you from San, but he did have a little bit of a crush on you that he never told him about. He’d known that San had fallen for you practically at first sight, and he could never put himself above his best friend like that. That said, this opportunity is one he’s planning on taking full advantage of. He’s still not sure why San wants him to have sex with you but he’s scared to ask, scared to jeopardize this arrangement and leave here without ever knowing you like this. 
Unfortunately, it’s something he needs to know before he can go any further. 
“San, why do you want to let me do this? You’re not the best at sharing,” Yeosang asks quietly, as if the lower his volume the less likely it is that San will change his mind. 
“Well,” San sighs, looking around the room to avoid his eyes, though Yeosang suspects that’s more for him than anything. “Your last relationship was shitty. She wasn’t nice to you and she was always ragging on you or telling you you weren’t good enough. You mentioned a few weeks ago you were thinking of joining some dating apps, so I wanted to figure out how to boost your confidence when it comes to stuff like this. But all I could think was that I wished you had someone like Y/N to help you through it like I did. And it occurred to me that you do, if I let you.”
The room is silent besides the low rush of the shower and Yeosang’s brain is anything but. Any other guy would just take him to a bar and play wingman, but here San is, offering to let him fuck his girlfriend if it means he’ll get some of his self-esteem back. He’s not sure it’s something he could bear to do, and he’s shocked San is willing to even try with how territorial he can get. Yeosang knows he can trust him though, and that he can trust you. So when San looks at him head on, his expression open and honest, there’s nothing else for Yeosang to do but thank him. 
“You’re a really good friend, San. The best.” 
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You get a bit distracted in the shower and it takes much longer than five minutes, but you can’t say you regret it. You feel so refreshed, so dewy, and you know you smell good as fuck so now is the prime time to reenter the absurd circumstances you’ve created with your boyfriend. You’re a little nervous now, the small amount of time you’d been out of the dynamic leaving you feeling off-kilter and unsure. You know San is waiting for you out there though, Yeosang too, and that’s enough to give you the courage you need to push open the door. Steam escapes around you, framing you in what you hope is a flattering haze, and both boys’ eyes snap to you immediately. You freeze in place, your eyes wide and your fingers gripping tightly at the towel wrapped around your body as they take you in. San’s already half hard, likely a Pavlovian response to what happens whenever you’re at least semi-naked in his vicinity (you getting bent over or pushed up against the closest surface). Yeosang’s body is turned away from you so you can’t tell if he’s similarly affected but the expression on his face is that of someone who’s just seen an angel, which bolsters your confidence enough to let the towel slip down a bit further. 
You can feel San’s eyes on you as you tease Yeosang, know he’s smiling a smile far too sweet for this context, and you just can’t resist the urge to turn and look at him. 
You were right, his face is lit up with a grin that could rival the sun, but his eyes are steamy, heavy, possessive. You can tell he’s trying his best to step back and let you and Yeo get to know each other like this, can tell how hard it is for him to even share you at this level of undress, and you vow to yourself that every day this week, you’ll be swallowing his dick. He deserves it, to be taken care of and pampered and spoiled, and you know there’s no one better for the job than you. 
Stepping further into the room, you move to San first, pressing a kiss to his lips and attempting to move on. It gets out of hand quickly, his fingers digging into your hips and pulling the towel tight across your ass. He sucks your tongue into his mouth, nibbling on the tip and letting his own glide against yours before shifting one hand to your stomach and physically pushing you away. You break apart at the last possible second, your head angled forward even as your body is forced to move backward, wanting to kiss him for as long as you can. 
Yeosang waits patiently on the bed, standing when San pushes you in his direction and letting you fix the towel before taking your hands in his. 
“How are you feeling?” He asks, wanting to check in at every step and also desperately wishing he could read your mind, if only to know what you think of him. 
“Good! I’m good. A little nervous. How are you feeling?” 
“I’m nervous too,” he whispers, like he doesn’t want San to hear after you’d agreed there was no reason to be, “But excited.”
“Me too,” you smile indulgently at him, wondering why you suddenly have the conversation skills of an incel when you’re just talking to Yeosang. 
Obviously, you know why. But you wish it wasn’t so, wish you didn’t feel so stilted, wish you could summon that easy rapport you always share with him. He seems to sense this, pursing his lips in that small smile you love before offering, “Maybe if I take my shirt off?”
“Oh. Oh, um, yeah, I think that could help. Maybe,” you breathe, forcing yourself not to blink as his fingers pull the fabric higher and higher, revealing rows of pale abs two by two. You think you count eight before you hear a throat clear behind you and turn to find San shirtless as well. Cooing at his rising jealousy, you blow him a kiss and rotate back to Yeosang, only to find a smirk on his face and his hands on his belt. 
When did he get all confident? You wonder, realizing that the switch happened at the same time San made his green eyes known, and suddenly, his change in demeanor makes perfect sense. San and Yeosang get into a little rivalry every now and then, just some friendly competition, and it seems this is going to be one of those times. Does that make you the prize? You’re not sure but it definitely feels like you’re the winner here, getting to experience Yeosang while knowing that San will be waiting for you when it’s all over. You try to remember you’re doing this for Yeo, not for yourself, but it’s difficult when you’ve got two of the hottest men you’ve ever seen wanting you. 
“Go ahead then,” You challenge Yeosang, just because you’re curious what he’ll do, and he reacts exactly as you expected. He blanches, one hand moving to run through his hair and the other reaching up to cover what he can of his chest, which isn’t much. It’s cute, adorable, really, the way he dropped the cockiness as soon as he was forced to commit. 
You can tell he’s going to need some guidance from here, frozen as he is, so you gently take the hand hiding his pecs and pull him down to sit with you on the bed.  San drops into the chair in the corner of the room but stays silent, letting you and Yeosang work it out. You’re grateful for it, for him, for his quiet strength steadying the both of you. 
“Why don’t we just start with a kiss and go from there? Do you want to kiss me, Yeosang?” You whisper, shuffling closer to him while keeping your grip on your towel. 
“Yes. I do, please,” he answers immediately, scooting over a few inches with his knees pressed tightly together. 
Leaning in slowly, you brush your lips over his. You can feel his cupid’s bow, feel his breath, feel the minute trembling of his bottom lip as he waits for you to kiss him properly. You will, of course you will, but first you want to make him just a little bit crazy. You let your mouth graze his, sink your teeth ever so slightly into that bottom lip, giving the teeniest tiniest sucks every so often. Yeosang shivers against you, his body taut like a bowstring, his fingers gripping his knees so tightly his knuckles go white. He’s trying so hard to restrain himself that you decide to give him more, slipping your tongue into his mouth to glide against his and sighing into him when he tentatively nudges back. 
He tastes like coke and popcorn, the flawless combination of sweet and salty tasting even better on his tongue, making you suck at it in pulses and making Yeosang let out a quiet moan. The sound sends zaps of electricity through you, one of your hands leaving your towel to cup his face and kiss him harder. He’s addictive, his sweet little noises and his sharp jawline, and you force yourself to pull back before you can get too carried away. You can’t just kiss him all night, you’re- Well… No! You cannot just kiss him all night! 
Even if you want to. 
He tries to follow but you still him with your free hand on his chest while you virtually gasp for air, your mind racing as you try to figure out where to go from here. You’re feeling a bit scrambled, slightly out of sorts, so you seek out the person who always knows where you are even when you don’t. 
San’s already looking at you, his eyes soft even as his hands grip the armrests, and he raises a brow when you lock eyes. Instantly, he knows your predicament and helps you out of it. 
“Babe, being on the bed might be more comfy, hm?” He sounds slightly amused and you narrow your eyes at him in a playful glare as you and Yeosang get situated on the duvet. You’re glad his teasing is directed at you though, you have a feeling it wouldn’t be well received by Yeosang at this particular point in time. 
You wish you’d put underwear on under the towel - you’re not quite ready to be buck ass naked in front of your boyfriend’s best friend - but you hadn’t brought any into the bathroom and it didn’t feel right in the moment to go to the dresser, so here you are. One layer from said state, and a flimsy layer at that. However, you were born to persevere, laying down and tugging at the towel until it lays flat over you. Yeosang was busy taking off his pants, thankfully, and when you’re both finished fussing, you take each other in. 
Your eyes rove over him as he sits on his knees, his gray boxer briefs stretched tight over his thighs and his posture immaculate. You can see the outline of his cock, see it straining against the fabric, a couple spots of pre-cum darkened fabric dotted at the head. You can also see the XL condom next to him, and thank God you’re laying down because your knees just went weak at the thought of even seeing his dick. Let alone touching it. Let alone having it inside of you. You want all of those things, but there’s a nagging thought in the back of your brain that reminds you, Yeosang isn’t San.  
Yeosang isn’t San and he isn’t yours either, so you tell yourself not to get too comfortable with him tonight. You can get a little comfortable though, enough to reach for his hand and pull him closer, enough to ask him, “Do you want me to take this off?”
“God yes,” he answers nearly before you even finished talking, his words more like a sigh as he straddles your legs and drops to hover above you. Your fingers play with the edge of the towel, less so to tease him and more so to give yourself more time before he sees you naked. You’re not shy about your body but you feel shy with him for some reason, so you push it down slowly, baring your breasts to him inch by inch. 
He sucks in a sharp gasp through his teeth as you reveal yourself. His eyes go heavy-lidded and hot on you and he doesn’t look away, his gaze laser-focused and his hands clenched into fists next to your head. He stares, saying and doing nothing long enough that you start to squirm under his attention. 
“You can touch her,” San reminds him. He says it loudly enough that Yeosang turns to level a look at him, making San mime zipping his mouth shut and locking it with a key. He even tosses the key at Yeosang, who catches and offers it to you. 
“Why thank you, been looking for this thing for ages,” you beam, sliding the imaginary key under the part of the towel still covering you, much to San’s obvious displeasure. 
The little moment between the three of you breaks up the tension, allowing Yeosang to feel comfortable enough to shift his weight onto one hand and bring the other up to cover your breast. He keeps it light, squeezes just enough to feel the weight of you in his palm, but he’s already thinking about getting his mouth on you, getting his teeth on you. His thumb brushes over your nipple and you shiver, your flesh rippling under his hand in the most entrancing way. 
He didn’t expect to like teasing you but he does, likes moving to the other side just when you’re starting to settle down, likes grazing his nails over your sensitive skin and making you shiver, likes pulling and rolling and twisting your nipples until you’re moaning and arching into his touch. It isn’t long before his hands aren’t enough, and he’s barely able to ask if he can use his mouth before you’re whining, “Yes, yes, yes!” and sinking your fingers into his hair. 
You taste so good, so fresh and clean after your shower, Yeosang can’t get enough. He sucks, nibbles, licks his way from side to side, never settling on one spot for too long. His teeth don’t ever sink in enough to leave a lasting bruise; he wishes he could mark you but rules are rules, and Yeosang loves rules, so this isn’t one he’ll break. He’s content enough to cover every square inch of your chest in kisses, trailing them down your stomach and over your hip bones. 
“Can I eat you out? Please?” Yeosang nearly begs, hoping you and San will say yes but unsure as this hadn’t been covered in the pre-sex negotiations. 
You’re already nodding, but it must occur to you to ask San too as your eyes find his. He giggles at the look on your face, your lips pouted and trembling and your eyebrows screwed up as you silently plead with San. 
“Yes, okay, fine!” San exclaims, throwing his hands up as if he can no longer stand to look at your puppy dog eyes. 
But Yeosang doesn’t want to overstep any bounds, won’t risk this friendship just for some oral (even if he really wants to go down on you, like A Lot), so he says, “San, if you’re not comfortable with it, I won’t.”
“No, it’s just,” he sighs, “It’s really nice and I’m scared you’ll like it too much.”
He likes oral, but he's never liked it too much.
It’s a little nerve wracking to watch you push the rest of the towel away, fully baring yourself to him. He’s sure you’re the more nervous one here, but this still feels like an important moment in your friendship and Yeosang can’t help but lean down and kiss you, just a simple, gentle kiss in thanks. For your vulnerability, for your candor, for your careful way of handling him. He’s just thankful to you. 
He’s even more thankful when he shoulders your thighs apart and licks into you for the first time. You taste… exquisite? Divine? Like all of the heavens concentrated into one being? Now he gets why San was so worried, because he’s already addicted. You’re wet, so fucking wet, that all he needs to do is glide his tongue through your folds to smear it all over. He likes it messy, contrary to his reserved nature, so he lets himself lose a bit of technique to get as much of you in, on, and around his mouth as he can. 
“She likes when you go inside,” San offers, but Yeosang wants to find his own way, so he grunts in acknowledgement and continues to devour you as he pleases. You’d both said this is for him, he can afford to be a bit selfish. 
You don’t seem to mind, if the way you’re writhing and whining says anything. To Yeosang, it says everything, though he’ll need to hold your hips down if he wants to keep going. Eventually, he does decide to slide his tongue inside you, just because you were starting to sound like you might cry, and when he does it’s mind blowing. The taste of you is so much more rich here and there’s so much of your slick seeping out that he can just drink you right down. It’s glorious, you’re glorious, and he’s desperate to make you cum. 
He fucks you with his tongue, pushes it in and out of your entrance and shifts a thumb down from your hip to rub circles over your clit. He experiments until he finds the pressure and motion you like and from there, it’s easy. Easy to let his groans vibrate into you, to reach up and put one of your hands back in his hair, to let you guide him. Easy to slip one, then two fingers in alongside his tongue. Easy to curl them up, hook them inside, spread you open and get right at your g-spot. 
“Can you squirt?” He slurs, his heart in his throat and his voice reflecting it. He almost doesn’t sound like himself, his voice so deep it rumbles in his chest and his words flowing together. His fingers are still pistoning in and out of you so you can’t answer, but San does, thankfully. 
“Yeah, she can. If you just-,”
“Perfect.”
Yeosang doubles his efforts, sinks another finger inside and moves his tongue up to your clit, pushing at it in pulses as he wraps his lips around it and sucks. He gets a bit rougher and faster with his fingers, fucking you like he means it, and your whines get higher and higher and higher until you’re keening, bucking up against the arm laid over your hips. It won’t be long now, he knows, until you’re flooding him with your wetness and (hopefully) crying your way through an orgasm. 
They don’t always happen together, but he wants to make them happen together for you, so he makes sure to focus on your clit even as he fingerfucks you into oblivion. You like it, he thinks, love it maybe, and soon enough, your pussy is clamping down on his fingers and holding them inside, so insanely tight that he thinks he’ll die when he gets his dick inside of you. You cry out, broken and pleasure-soaked, when you cum. Your clit beats like a tiny little heart and your walls undulate around his fingers as slick gushes out of you in spurts. It’s perfect, you’re perfect, and he’s already mourning the fact that he’ll never get to do this again. 
Once his neck and chest are covered in you, he finishes helping you through your orgasm and lets up. He would push for another but he doesn’t want to be greedy, so he gently places your legs back down on the bed and shakily sits up. You’re still panting, your lashes wet and your mouth open, and fuck if you aren’t the prettiest thing Yeosang has ever seen. The haze in your eyes clears up, your gaze finds his, and it’s two seconds of silence before you’re both giggling your hearts out. There’s something funny about making one of your best friends squirt, and it’s even funnier when it’s your best friend’s girlfriend too. 
“Have fun?” San’s voice breaks up your laughter, his jealousy evident though his restraint is too. Yeosang imagines this must be incredibly difficult for him, and once again he’s struck with the desire to thank you both. Who else can say they have friends like this? Friends who let him into their bed, who share themselves with him, who take care of him. Yeosang is so lucky, so insanely lucky, to have you two. 
“I love you guys,” Yeosang sighs, and it seems San can’t hold onto his annoyance in the face of his affection because his frown becomes a grin that dimples his cheeks and brightens his eyes. You’re looking similarly fond, your smile sweet and your hands gentle when they pull him to you so you can place a kiss on his cheek. 
“Love you too, Yeo,” You and San repeat in unison, on the same page in this as in almost everything. 
Yeosang doesn’t know what will happen after tonight but he’s secure in the knowledge that this won’t do anything but bring the three of you closer. He thinks. 
He doesn’t have long to linger on the thoughts, your hands coming to rest on his stomach and your nails dragging down to catch at his boxers. He’s ridiculously hard, doesn’t need any of the preparation you’re offering, might even cum if you touch him, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get your hands on him tonight. He nods when you ask if you can take his boxers off, tries to quiet the racing of his heart as you slowly pull them down. His dick bounces up and against his stomach, smearing precum on his abs before it bobs down heavily. He’s big, he knows, and the three fingers he’d given you should be enough, but he’s considering offering a fourth when he takes notice of the look in your eyes. 
You look like you’re not scared at all, like this is a walk in the park or a day at the beach, and it’s so fucking sexy that Yeosang just knows he can’t let you touch him too much or he’ll blow. You can touch him a little though, he decides, taking your hand when you hesitate and bringing it to rest on his cock. Your hand is smaller than his, warmer and softer too, and it feels miles better than his own. You definitely know what you’re doing, starting to stroke him and running your thumb up and down the frenulum and over the head, a combination that already has Yeosang seeing stars. He wishes he could let you keep going but he’ll cum if he doesn’t stop you, is even a bit nervous that he’ll cum the second he slides inside of you, but that’s a risk he’s dying to take. 
His hand covers yours, squeezing down hard at the base to stave off the orgasm, as he whispers, “Stop, stop, stop, I’ll cum.”
You smile proudly, wiggling your hand out from under his to grab the condom at his side and hold it out. For some reason, opening the wrapper and rolling it on feels momentous, like this is the point of no return. Which is ridiculous because you’ve already done all sorts of things friends don’t do, and because he knows he could stop anytime he wants. The problem is that he doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t ever want to stop, but as he folds your legs up and glides the covered head of his cock over your clit, he decides that’s a problem for future Yeosang. 
Present Yeosang is preoccupied, mesmerized by how his dick covers the whole of your pussy. He could stare for days, months, years, but you wriggle beneath him in impatience so he lines himself up and starts to slowly push in. Your cunt sucks him in, your walls contracting over and over until he bottoms out with a strangled moan. 
“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” He can hear San say somewhere in the background, but his head is swimming at the pressure of you around him and he can’t summon the words to respond. You are perfect, though, your cunt is perfect, and welcoming, and wet as all fuck, and he wishes he could make a home here inside of you but he knows he can’t, so he pulls back and pumps into you again. He starts slow, doesn’t go as rough as he usually likes to but you get impatient fast, wrapping your arms around his neck whispering, “Harder, harder, please,” until he decides to give you what you want. 
He pounds into you, slamming in and out and groaning as he feels your pussy get tighter and tighter around him. He thinks you might already be close, knows that as soon as you cum, he will too and this will all be over, so he breathlessly asks, “Will you ride me? I wanna see you,” pulling out and clumsily switching places with you when your eyes grow bright and you happily sigh, “Yes!”
His view as you climb on top of him is immaculate, your body all stretched out over his and your tits sitting perfectly. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathes, watching the bashful grin rise on your face and catching San’s nod in his peripheral vision. He’s also got his lips pursed and his knees bouncing, and Yeosang feels a little bad that he’s taking such advantage of the situation. San gets you all the time though, practically whenever he wants, so Yeosang feels he’s allowed to be a bit selfish just this once. 
He holds his dick up as you lower yourself onto him, swallowing him again in your blinding heat and making his head spin. You resume the quick pace, slamming yourself down on him over and over, and all Yeosang can do is lay there and take it. Well, he could grab your hips and fuck up into you but he’s enjoying being fucked too much to change anything about this. He’s always been the one doing the work in sex and it’s so unbelievably wonderful to just let you take him. 
You like it too, might even love it, he thinks. You’re making the sweetest sounds, your moans and whimpers and sighs intoxicating to him. You feel so much tighter around him like this, too, and he feels like he’s even deeper than he was before, your ass smacking against his balls with every thrust. He’s getting close, he’s getting so fucking close, and he knows he can’t cum inside you but he doesn’t want to cum in the condom either, but you hadn’t discussed where he could cum if not in the condom, and suddenly Yeosang is right there on the edge with no idea what to do.
“San, I’m gonna cum. What do I-,”
“In my mouth, Yeo. Cum in my mouth,” you interject, climbing off of him and stopping his orgasm in its tracks. He grips the base of his cock and peels off the condom as San takes you by the ankles, flips you onto your stomach, and drags you to lay horizontally on the bed. 
“Want me now or want me to wait, baby?” San asks you, one hand on your back and one on his dick. 
“Now, Sannie, I want you now,” you respond, your voice shot and your eyes teary as you turn to watch him line himself up and slide home. You whine his name and the sound soothes him, settles the simmering jealousy in his stomach and replaces it with heat, which only grows as he feels you adjust to him. He must be a bit bigger than Yeosang and that calms him a little bit more, even though he knows it shouldn’t. 
Poor Yeosang still hasn’t cum so San beckons him forward, ignoring how weird it feels to be interacting with his best friend while he’s fucking his girlfriend. Yeosang shuffles closer to you on unsteady feet, his eyes dark as he watches his dick disappear in your mouth. You’re so fucking good at sucking dick he’s almost jealous it’s not him in your throat right now, but he knows he’s got the better end of the deal, getting to fuck you raw and cum inside you. Getting to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up with you every morning. Getting to go grocery shopping with you and brush his teeth next to you and take you on dates. Getting to love you. Nothing could be better than his life with you, and thinking about it has him on the verge of tears and on the edge of cumming. 
He normally lasts longer but he’s had to watch you get pleasured for an hour while having nothing to do with it, he thinks he can cut himself a little slack. It would be kind of beautiful and poetic if you could all cum together, so he slips one hand between your thighs and strums your clit in the way that makes you go fucking crazy, and fucking crazy you go. Your cunt seizes up around him, your back arching further and your thighs shaking. You’d be shouting if you didn’t have Yeosang’s dick in your mouth and though he misses your noises, he’s happy that Yeosang is having such a good time. 
It’s obvious he’s close again, his eyes screwed shut and his breathing labored, and thank fuck he is because San is cumming, fuck, he’s cumming, and you are too. Your pussy clenches around him in pulses, milking his cock and sucking his cum in deeper and deeper until he has nothing left to give. His head swims and through the haze, he can hear Yeosang swearing and groaning, hear your name leaving his lips, and San would be lying if he said it didn’t make him cum just a little bit harder. 
When your cunt has squeezed the last of his cum out of his dick, San drapes himself over your back, pressing kisses across your shoulders and snaking his arms around your stomach. He always feels so cuddly after sex and he knows the comfort is good for you too, so he stays as he is even as Yeosang pulls out and drops to his knees to press a kiss to your lips. That’s something San always does after you suck him off and he’s happy it seems to be an instinct for his best friend as well. 
San wants to let you and Yeosang have your time so he peels himself off your back and stands, lumbering over to the bathroom to get a warm, damp washcloth to clean you up. You may want a shower later and he knows you’ll want to brush your teeth, but this will do for now. 
When he re-enters the bedroom, Yeosang is laying on his back with you snuggled up against his shoulder. You’re talking quietly with each other, giggling like friends do at a sleepover, and San feels his heart grow five times bigger. He squeezes Yeosang’s free shoulder before he climbs onto the bed and settles in next to you. His hand touches Yeosang’s side when he wraps his arm around you but neither flinch away. They've just been closer to each other than they ever have and ever will be again, a little touching is nothing to them now. 
“So… Did it work?” San asks, propping himself up on an elbow and resting his cheek on your arm so he can look at Yeosang. 
“Did what work?” Yeosang responds with confusion, having not even a clue what San is talking about. 
“We did this so you could work on your confidence, remember? So you can start dating again?” 
“Oh, yeah, for sure, for sure,” Yeosang agrees absentmindedly, his eyes locked on the ceiling. 
“Good, we just want you to be happy,” you whisper drowsily. 
Yeosang doesn’t have the heart to tell either of you that he’s happier now than he’s ever been. And that he’s not sure he really needs to start dating again after all. 
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"Babe, do you think you could go sleep on the couch? You know I like my snuggle time, and Temi's already there," San whispers in the dark. Yeosang jerks awake, and, affronted, scream-whispers, "I will go home right now if you make her sleep on the couch, you animal."
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" San jerks against you, trying to defend himself from Yeosang's swatting arm. All that does is jostle the three of you closer and somewhere, somehow, in the midst of it all, you fall into blissful, sore slumber.
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AN: thank you for being born bestie ily more than life itself! i hope this is everything we dreamed of and more 💖 and thank you @petrichor-mingi for beta reading!!!
941 notes · View notes
ro-written · 11 months
Text
Spills and Confessions - C.San
Tags/Warnings: Pure fluff, drinking, San being a giggly and cute drunk, kdrama-level situations
Word Count: 1.3k
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You stared at San as his face got redder and redder and his body swayed a bit, even sitting down. It was adorable.
The two of you hadn’t been able to just sit down and catch up with each other in a few weeks. Yes, you made sure to message each other, checking in on your best friend with his busy idol schedule and you balancing work and general life. But finally, earlier that night, he texted you as you finished in the shower.
Sannie 🌄: what are you doing RIGHT. NOW. You: not a “hello”? nary a “how are you?” Sannie 🌄: hello my bestest friend ever Sannie 🌄: now answer. You: …im scared to. Sannie 🌄: 🤨🤨🤨scared of ME??? You: absolutely not, dont make me laugh Sannie 🌄: booooooo, what are you doing toniiiiiight???? You: nothing, dear 😞 Sannie 🌄: good answer. Sannie 🌄: cause i have no work tomorrow morning and im expecting you to not either You: bold assumption. Sannie 🌄: well you know me You: …it would also be a correct one Sannie 🌄: 😼perfect Sannie 🌄: come over and drink with me, everyone’s out for the night You: lmao sounds good, give me like 30
Well, an hour later and three drinks in, San was giggling at a little joke you had made. Just a slight innuendo, nothing you hadn’t done before, but to him it seemed to be the funniest thing in the world. He wiped his eyes of the two tears racing down his face.
“Was it funny?” You looked at him with eyebrows raised, trying to hide the small smile playing on your lips behind your drink glass. He has been a lightweight since you could remember. Even with all the working out he’s done, no matter how broad - as he likes to brag about - his shoulders get, that fact will never change. 
“Very…..very much so,” he gasps out, slowly bringing himself to calm down. His entire neck was beet red and his eyes turned into half-moons with his smile. His dimples showed through and you couldn’t help but reach out to poke one of them. The slight haze in your brain overtook your thinking, and you didn’t consider it before you moved and blurted out
“You’re so cute, honey.”
When the words were finally processed in your head, it was too late.
He had looked at you with this wide-eyed, child-like look. His lips formed the little pout they’d do when he was confused or shocked about something. The drink he held in his hand stayed frozen halfway between the table and his mouth.
It wasn’t like you two didn’t flirt before. Of course you have, but it was in a platonic way. Just little comments here and there about how someone looked a particular time, or saying cheesy one-liners. But it never went past that. You two always kept the invisible wall of “lol” and “whatever” up to not make either person feel weird. But this comment was different. And even in his unsteady state, he was able to detect the tone in your voice.
Of course, you found San attractive, anybody who could perceive other people would find him attractive. Did that mean you had a crush on the man? …yes. You knew you did, but you held that as close to your chest as you could, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable if it came to be that he didn’t feel the same way. You’ve tried to shake your mind out of it for a while, trying to find any ick about him to keep up the platonic barrier of your friendship. And when that didn’t work, you went on dates to distract yourself. But during these dates, you would only find yourself comparing them to San. How they dressed, how they talked, their personalities. None of them could ever compare.
“Um…sorry, was that weird?” You backtracked and tried to laugh it off. You could feel your face burning though and quietly hoped it wasn’t too noticeable. He kept quiet, eyes going down to the bottles in front of both of you. Gotta go gotta go gotta go gotta–
“I think I’m gonna get water!” You abruptly stood up from the couch to make your way over to the kitchen in the dorm. You needed to get away from him and the heavy atmosphere that had suddenly clouded the room. 
Grabbing out a random mug you think was Mingi’s, you went to the sink and stared at the cold water filling the cup. Maybe it’s time to sober up and get home. You chugged the water, staring into the sink at the excuse you were gonna try to give San for leaving so early and how you were going to get an Uber back to your place.
“Uh, hey.”
San’s voice behind you made you jump and whip your head around. The water splashed up on your shirt sleeve and looking down you realized that it got on the floor as well.
“Shit, sorry,” San mumbled and rushed over to help you clean up the spill. You grabbed one of the dish rags laying next to the stove and started to crouch down right as San got there, moving to grab the towel out of your hand to clean it instead. His hand, instead, grabbed onto yours, and it made you both stop to stare at each other. He was warm, his hand soft and gentle against yours. His face was still flush, but his eyes were completely focused on you and how it felt to touch you. You took a deep, steadying breath as you gently pulled the rag from his hand.
“Don’t apologize, Sannie. I spilled it, I should clean it.” You offered him a closed-mouth smile, doing your best to relax your features and not show the inner turmoil you were facing. His mouth opened but quickly closed as you turned your attention to cleaning up the water. 
He struggled to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. He knew somewhat when he walked in, having gone over it in his head when you had come in here, but all of that was lost as soon as he saw you. He knew what he wanted, he’s always known. He’s known it since that day you showed up at the dorm to sneak him out for a night away from all the dance practices and interviews. You took him to a small festival with bright lights and various foods, ones that you made him share with you so he could have a break from his dieting. And that night, under the mix of the moonlight and the soft yellow lights, he realized that what he had wanted was you. 
“It wasn’t weird,” he said suddenly. You stopped wiping at the floor to understand what he had said to you. Your heartbeat hadn’t stopped racing for the past fifteen minutes and you were afraid that you would collapse at any second. You feared that if you looked up at him, looked him in his eyes again, you truly would collapse. So you stood up and turned towards the counter to dump the rest of the water, balling up the towel in your hands.
You felt a hand on your shoulder gently pulling to turn you. Complying, you shifted around, keeping your eyes on his chest where his grey hoodie was decorated with Seoul National University’s logo on it. His hand moved under your chin, pushing it to make you look into his eyes.
“I need you to hear me when I say this.” Your breath caught in your throat. “I’ve liked you for years. And I never wanted to say anything because I was worried about scaring you off but…I like you. And I think that you may like me too.” His eyebrows drew together, eyes begging you to say something. 
Taking another deep breath, you felt your heartbeat slow down for once tonight. You brought both hands up to smooth out the crease in between his eyebrows and smiled, grabbing both sides of his face. Whether it was the alcohol in your system, or the confession he just gave you, something gave you the courage to respond back to him earnestly.
“Of course, I like you Sannie.”
526 notes · View notes
ericsprincess · 7 months
Text
slow it down
nc-17, san/wooyoung/reader, boucy au, boxer!san, pimp!wooyoung (kinda), mafia leader!reader, f/m/m threesome, prostitution (technically), cunnilingus, vaginal sex, felching
~~~
“...3, 2, 1!” DING DING DING!
The audience roars as the referee raises the hand of the winner as the defeated lies motionless on the ground. The winner himself is wavering, having obvious trouble keeping himself standing straight. His face is bloody, his lip is busted and he has bruises everywhere. His white wifebeater is stained with blood and sweat. He drops his hand and looks like he’s about to faint, when his coach (?) comes running to him and catches him at the last moment, holding a water bottle to his mouth and making him drink. The boxer holds on to his coach like a lifeline, swallowing big gulps of water before straightening up and throwing his fist to the air, letting out a victorious yell.
He slumps back to his coach's embrace and lets himself be led off the ring, the coach supporting him carefully so he doesn’t trip. Your eyes are following them, as you are sitting at the bar, sipping your drink. 
They take a stop at the promoters booth where they collect their cash prize and bet money, the coach pocketing the hefty stack of dollars. They talk a little bit more, probably about the possibilities for future matches, before disappearing somewhere in the backstage dressing rooms.
You turn your head back to the stage. The host is already in the ring, trying to introduce the next match’s fighters, but the audience is still yelling the winner’s name like in a trance. San, and he’s obviously the star of tonight’s event. 
You finish your drink, hop off the bar stool and head to the backstage. 
~~~
It doesn’t take long to find the dressing room where they are at - there aren't that many and most of them are empty. You find them in the last one and you know it’s the one where they are immediately - the door is not completely closed and the lights are on. 
You push the door more open and lean in the doorway. San is half-sitting half-lying on a little dinky sofa and his coach is kneeling in front of him, cleaning his wounds. He seems to be talking to San in a calm, low voice, but you can’t make up the words. It feels very intimate. San’s eyes are closed and his coach is turned away from you so neither can see you standing there. It gives you a chance to observe them for a bit. 
San is really handsome. That’s obvious and it’s also the reason why you’re there. His face is naturally beautiful, even marred with scratches and wounds, his hair jet black with strands falling into his face in a charming way. His body is muscular and strong with broad arms, big chest and narrow waist. He’s the epitome of deadly power - silent, strong, but agile. 
His coach - well. You would lie if you said he’s not handsome. He’s nicely built, the pecs peeking from his unbuttoned shirt revealing that he’s more trained and strong than he looks at first sight. His face is also handsome, with his pretty cheekbones and beaky nose. But he looks so sleazy. He looks like he’s there to cause trouble and discussing anything with him is like handling a slimy snake, that’s twisting and turning and slipping out of your hands. He’s attractive, but in an infuriating way.
They haven’t noticed you yet so you clear your throat to get their attention. 
San’s coach turns his head and stands up. 
“Well hello,” he drawls. “I thought we’ve already gotten our reward. Did the bar owners send us a freebie? I’m Wooyoung, what’s your name, beautiful?” he grins and blatantly checks you out. His eyes run over you and he’s clearly enjoying what he sees. You’re dressed casually, in black skinny jeans, black shirt tucked into them and a leather jacket. Your long hair is flowing, as opposed to the conservative intricate bun you wear for your usual meetings. This one is not usual though. 
You shift your weight and subtly move the side of your leather jacket, so he can see the gun strapped on your waist. It wipes his grin out immediately. 
“I’m afraid not. I am Y/N Y/L/N,“  you turn to San. “I saw your match and I have heard a lot about you. I would have a business proposal, if you are interested.” He looks up at you from the sofa, but doesn’t say anything and closes his eyes again, as if he were too tired to even talk.
“That depends on what kind of business,” Wooyung cuts in.
“Excuse me, but I was talking to him, not you,” you frown. He’s already starting to get on your nerves. 
“All the business goes through me,” Wooyung grins dangerously and puts his hand on San’s shoulder, his intent is clearly to show you who’s in charge. 
“So, you’re his pimp,” you raise an eyebrow. 
“I prefer the term manager,” he smiles at you. “After all, he’s always free to refuse any job I get for him.” 
“Then let him hear me out and decide for himself.” you’re getting impatient. 
“Are you some kind of a mafia boss? Because we don’t kill people,” starts Wooyoung, nodding at your gun, but you interrupt him. 
“That’s not the nature of the job I want to offer.” you say. You don’t deny the mafia accusation. 
You wait for the inevitable interruption by Wooyoung, but he just waves his hand to prompt you to continue. 
“As I said, I saw your match and I was really impressed. I would like to buy your time tonight,” you say. 
“For how much?” asks Wooyoung.
“10 000 dollars,” you reply. “Cash, half upfront.” you pull out a wad of banknotes and hold them up, so they know you’re not bluffing. San opens his eyes from where he’s laying sprawled on the sofa. 
“Ooookay?” Wooyoung is obviously surprised. “And what would he do?”
“Well, I would like to make use of his…private time,” you’re not sure how to word it. You don’t want to imply you want him to prostitute himself to you, even though it’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re telling this to Wooyoung, but you’re looking at San. His eyes are intense and he seems fully awake and alerted, also measuring you up with his eyes. 
“I- I’m not sure we do this kind of jobs..” Wooyoung hesitates. 
San pulls on his sleeve. Wooyoung looks at him, and you’re sure there is some kind of telepathic connection going on, because after a few seconds of intense eye contact, Wooyoung turns back to you. “He agrees.” Wooyoung confirms, even though San hasn’t said a word. 
“Do you have anything specific in mind?” 
“Not really. Just, the usual,” you blush. You didn’t think that far, since you didn’t really expect San to agree. “Or anything that occurs in the moment. But, of course, it depends on how San feels about...performing. I’m not sure about the extent of his injuries.”    
“I’m not that injured,” San grumbles. It’s the first time he speaks out loud tonight and it catches you off guard. “I can perform.” He has a nice voice, you think. I wonder how he sounds when he cums.
“Well then, it’s settled,” Wooyoung claps his hands and reaches his palm towards you. You roll your eyes and put half of the money into his hands and he shoves it into his pocket immediately. 
“Do you want to move elsewhere?” he asks. 
“No, here is sufficient.” You would never admit it too Wooyoung, but fucking in dirty dressing room at the backstage of the boxer match, with the door that doesn’t lock well… it gives you the thrills already.
“Okay,” he replies and throws himself on an old armchair on the opposite side of the sofa. 
You’re perplexed. “Aren’t you going to leave?” you ask in disbelief. 
“No, of course not. I need to keep an eye on him. And you.” he smirks and reclines back to make himself more comfortable. 
“Bullshit. You just want to watch,” He’s so annoying. You’re almost fuming at the audacity of this guy. 
“Well, let’s say that’s a welcomed benefit.” he winks and you scoff, turning away from him. There is no point in arguing. 
You hesitate. Both of them are looking at you, awaiting your actions and it’s getting awkward. Ah, to hell with it, you decide, shrug off your jacket and with a few steps you come to the sofa and sit on San’s lap. He put his hands to your waist.
“Can I kiss you? Or does it hurt too much?” you nod at his busted lip.
“I don’t mind pain,” he shakes his head, putting his hand on your neck he pulls you for a kiss. The kiss is fierce and tastes of blood, he’s not hesitating to push his tongue into your mouth and fight you for dominance.
He’s trying to unbutton your blouse singlehandedly with his other hand and when he succeeds and takes it off you, he squeezes your tits hard. He breaks the kiss to move his mouth along your jawline to suck and lick on your neck. 
“You’re really pretty,” mumbles San into your neck. “I would have done it for free, you know,” he nuzzles.  “Don’t tell Wooyoung that.” That makes you laugh a little. 
You can feel him getting hard under you and you know you’re not doing much better yourself. You’re moving a little, rubbing your pussy over his cock, to get at least some stimulation for both of you, while he sucks and licks at your tits. You’re getting really into it and San’s hands on your waist help to guide your movement too. His breathing is getting heavier and he’s really hard under you.
“Do you want to make him come just from your dry humping? I thought you wanted to fuck,” Wooyoung’s voice interrupts your thoughts. 
Ugh.
You stop moving and look back over your shoulder to Wooyoung, sprawled on the armchair, as if he were watching a movie.  
“What’s your problem?” you frown. 
“If you make him come now, he’ll fall asleep in like 3 minutes and then what? Will you expect a refund?” Wooyoung shrugs. “Just thinking of business.” 
“Fine.” you stand up and unbutton your pants, but San bats your hands away and does it himself. He pulls them down together with your panties and you grab his shoulder for better balance while you step out of them. 
San pulls you for a kiss, running his hands over the backs of your thighs up to your ass, slightly pulling it apart, making you realize that you’re standing bent over right in front of Wooyoung who has the first row seat to your bare ass and wet pussy. You briefly wonder if San did this on purpose. 
San quickly unzips his own jeans and pulls out his cock. He’s already hard and leaking, the tip red and angry and you can’t wait to get it in you. 
“Do you have a condom?” you ask San impatiently. Yours are laying somewhere on the floor in the jacket pocket, and it seems way too far now. 
“He’s clean,” Wooyoung answers for him. 
“How do you know that?” you ask, your patience running thin. 
“Let’s say,” drawls Wooyoung with a smug smile. “I know about everyone he sleeps with.”
You frown, but you’re not going to argue with him. It’s hotter like this anyways. 
You take San’s cock in your hand and slowly sink on it. You can’t resist looking at Wooyoung over your shoulder. He’s watching intensely and it’s clear he’s not unaffected either - his boner is starting to show and while one of his hands is on the armrest, the other is getting dangerously close to his crotch. 
You slowly start to move and ride San’s cock. He’s a nice size and feels so nice and deep everytime you drop down. San’s hands are roaming all over your body, touching your ass, back, squeezing your tits while he’s sucking on your neck and collarbones, obviously trying to make up for the lack of his own movement in you. It’s not like you care much about that - he’s tired and injured and it’s not like you don’t prefer to just use a hot man like a toy. That’s actually why you’re even here. 
The room is resonating with the disgusting squelching sounds as both you and San are getting wetter, your bodily fluids mixing together with sweat. You’re riding him tirelessly, gasping and whimpering, trying to get you both close to finish, when San suddenly moans so loud it almost startles you.
“What..” you’re confused, but you’re not stopping. 
San is blushing. “He just licked my balls,” What. That makes you even more confused, but then you suddenly feel it. Wooyoung’s hot wet tongue on your asshole, his hands grabbing your asscheeks for better access. 
Oh fuck. You didn’t even hear him approach. It feels too good to ponder about it, and just the sheer audacity of Wooyoung to dare to join like that riles you up even more. Not to mention that he’s just casually eating your ass like that, with full enthusiasm, tongue moving down to lick around San’s cock at the point where he’s entering your pussy. It feels like his tongue is everywhere at the same time.
“Was this part of the deal?” you laugh, red, sweaty and out of breath, but not stopping. You’re so close.
“It’s on the house,” mumbles Wooyoung, getting back to eating your ass like it’s his last meal. 
He tries to push his tongue inside, and at the same moment San pinches your nipple just right, and that makes you come, so hard that San has to tighten his grip on your waist so you don’t fall off him as you move. He must be close too, the moment he senses that you have almost finished he grabs you by the waist with both hands and starts roughly thrusting up into you. It takes only a few thrusts though, and you can feel him coming in you. 
You slump against him, tired and out of breath and fucked out. San’s softening cock is slipping out of your pussy and you don’t know what Wooyoung is doing to him this time, but it makes San squirm. Wooyoung moves his attention to you, licking your pussy from behind, slurping San’s come straight out of it. It’s overstimulating and you can’t come again like that, not yet, but you can hear Wooyoung’s whimpers and moans as he’s licking inside of you, and you’re pretty sure he’s getting off on it - so you let him, holding onto San while catching your breath. 
It doesn’t take him long before you can hear him cumming into his own hand. After a moment, he breathes out and straightens. You look back and you see him offer his hand, dirtied with his own cum to San, for San to eat out off, like a dog getting a treat.
You drop down on the sofa. 
“Does he not mind..that?” 
San finishes licking Wooyoung’s hand clean. 
“He knows to never bite a hand that feeds him,” he says. It makes you feel something.
San lies down next to you on the cramped sofa. He closes his eyes and seems to be out as light immediately. 
“So…is that it?” 
“I do actually have a real job offer for you. Come work for me.” you suggest. 
“And do what?” scoffs Wooyoung. “Kill people? Or worse, die for you? Sorry, I don’t think either of us is interested in that.” 
“Not necessarily. Although you could work the usual jobs if you wanted - protection, deals, and such. But if you don’t, I’m sure we can use San’s skill as an instructor for our new recruits. He wouldn’t have to fight anymore” you shrug. For a man like San, there is always something to do in your organization.
“We’re a package deal.” replies Wooyoung. The real meaning of his sentence is clear - what would I do? What’s in there for me?
“I’m aware. I could use an assistant and you seem more than capable,” you reply nonchalantly, although you already know you will regret it. Wooyoung will definitely make annoying you his primary job. You’re looking forward to this. 
“Your lodging, food, salary, everything will be provided. You’ll live a more comfortable life. You don’t have to decide now, but I’m sure you would appreciate at least not having to live in a van, and- hmmppf” you get interrupted by San, who suddenly appears awake and surprises you with a kiss. He’s too passionate, tongue licking in your mouth, tasting of Wooyoung’s cum, and you don’t know if it’s desperation or gratitude, but you accept it. You wonder where he’s getting the energy for this though, but he’s almost mauling you with the fierceness of his kiss. 
“Well, I guess it’s decided,” Wooyoung pecks you on the cheek and his lips linger there for a moment until he whispers in your ear.
“Boss.”
You don’t need a better answer. 
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danihow · 6 months
Text
Anatomy
Choi San x GN!Reader
Summary: Studying anatomy for tomorrow's test with your friend, who you have a crush on, should've go relatively calm.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: medstudent! san and medstudent!reader, suggestive, confessing, fluff, teeni tiny bit of angst, fluff, San being flirty.
A/N: I started this exactly a year and a half ago and left it there until today, I am NOT going to proofread it because i will hate it if i do, i know. And and and, I am trying to get back on writting so as you all know, any feedback is appreciated, hope you all have a great dayyyy.
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"'Kay, so, we already got irrigation down, and innervation too, we reviewed the muscles on last Monday’s extra hours, sindesmiology will go by what god's wants, what do we have left?" You recall, the cap of the whiteboard marker going off with a pop as you mark off the last cavities topic you just covered over.
"Maybe, just maybe, we can have a rest." San says over from the couch, full on manspreading as his head is resting on the back cushions, visibly tired from all the studying you've been doing.
"Or..." His head snapped up as fast as he could upon your voice, a death glare over to you, daring you to continue. "We can take over osteology real quick and call it a night, test isn't until 2 p.m. tomorrow anyways." You say happily, or in an attempt to sound like it, excited by the vacations you had around the corner after two exhausting back to back semesters.
"Please y/n..." he whined, his mental exhaustion taking over. "At least let me rest my mind ten minutes, give me back my phone for five minutes and then we keep on." his voice was raspy, eyes tired with bags under them, a puppy look on them that made you cave in, oh how you hated him and his perfect eyes.
"Alright, but, 10 minutes, no more, preferably less, and we keep on going." Your words caused such a brightening effect on the man, eyes tiredly becoming smaller as a smile took over his face, arms stretching and hands signaling for you to give him his phone.
"Thank you..." his singsonging voice cheered, phone in his hands and back flopping back into the couch. "You know how much I love you right?" He said, looking for less than a second over to you before getting up to go to the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of assaulting your fridge, to which you were unable to pay much attention, heart thumping so hard into your ears.
Your eyes followed the figure of the man disappearing into your kitchen, the sound of the fridge opening falling on deaf ears.
Choi San was going to be the death of yours one day with that stupid mouth of his.
Along with his stupidly beautiful face.
Not that he knew you thought that, nor the way your heartbeat sped up every time he gently placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you through crowds, how he rested his head on your shoulder in the middle boring classes, or he just barely smiled at you.
All the little things of him made your heart rush ever since you met him, quite some time back when you two went to the same tutor for your admission test; and then reconnecting when you two decided to change your individual career paths into medicine.
And this little crush of yours was driving you insane.
"And we're ready!" He exclaimed from the kitchen, a bowl of fresh cut strawberries in one hand and the Nutella in the other, two bottles of water maneuvered under his arm and a stupid smirk painting his defined features.
"I had strawberries on my fridge?" You ask rather confused, but relieved to find him less tired.
"You have a bunch of weird stuff on that fridge." The bowl of strawberries placed in front of you on the coffee table, a bottle of water right at your face. "Shall we continue?" A small smile of his face as he hands you the bottle, maybe the exhaustion in your head making you imagine a fond look in his eyes.
"S-sure" You stuttered, forcing you out of the trance, trying hard to drown all the butterflies invading your body. "How should we study osteology?" You ask, you were awful in osteology, having tried almost every method your professors suggested.
"I usually point them in a cadaver or in myself?" He says strawberry in his hand. "It’s really useful."
"It is?" You have to ask, never occurring to you to use your own body to it.
"You've never done it?" He asks rather surprised, it was a method he had known to be used a lot between your classmates. "How do you study osteo?"
"I do have done it, but it never worked. I just... look at images for hours but all the names get scrambled at the end." You admit, a bit ashamed.
"Maybe you are overthinking it way too much." He mutters, sitting down beside you on the floor. "Let's try it again, and if it doesn't work, I owe you a meal."
"What do you mean?" You ask, heart beating a bit faster every second that passed. His whole presence closer to you, enough for you to feel his body heat irradiating from his, his knee barely grazing your thigh.
"I often study hard subjects in a reward system." He starts, voice a tiny bit lower and a ton smoother, and suddenly it seemed like the room got quieter, and the cold from outside suddenly diminished. "Maybe if you try it with someone else you don't like... sabotage yourself into looking up the answer or something." He says, taking in his hand the list of structures for the practical test.
His gaze looked up from the papers up to you, looking deeply into your eyes, a warm feeling spreading around his body as his eyes looked around your face, the warm light of your living room lamp giving your features a beautiful glow that accentuating all of his favorites parts of you.
To San you were always mesmerizing, to him it didn’t matter if you were all tidied and ready to go out, or if you were tired and in pajamas like you were right now. The aura you always had around was more than enough to keep him captivated ever since he met you, he was wrapped around your finger, and you weren't even aware of that.
"We can try." You said barely above a whisper, San snapping back to reality, missing the faint blush that made you cheeks feel like burning.
"I'll start pointing and you have to tell me the accident and the bone." He says, grabbing a pencil from your pencil case. "Is it okay?"
"Yeah" You wouldn't dare to say no to him, not that you were able to when he was looking at you like that.
"For each one right you'll get a really sweet strawberry." He smiles in a way you for sure knew not even the sweetest of the strawberries would ever come near.
"Did you took all of my strawberries?" You ask, nerves coming up your throat.
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter." He brushes it off, the tip of the pencil point to your ankle. "Which one is this?"
"The fibula"
"Which accident of the fibula?"
"The... uh, I don't remember, the lateral something."
"The lateral malleolus." He says, eating himself the strawberry. "And up here?" He drags the pencil up to below the knee, moving to the inner side.
"The, um... T-the medial condyle of the bone tibia." You curse at yourself for stuttering, the small smirk on San's face even more clear, making you feel embarrassed.
"That's sound about right, yeah." He nods, smiling, handing you your first strawberry and making the zoo in your stomach roar at the gesture, his hands holding the strawberry up to your mouth, waiting for you bite it.
San's smirk just grows much to your dismay at how flustered you look right now, his stomach all giddy with butterflies, the red decorating your cheeks making him want to confess to you right then and there.
And you kept going, far too deep into the rabbit hole to quit it, and liking it far too much to say no to him, pencil long forgotten as his finger was the one pointing, soft touch to your skin but you were far too focused into pretending to not notice how he got a tiny bit closer each question he asked. To the point he was siting no more than two inches away from your side, upper body leaning slightly towards you.
You could see every single detail in his face, his long eyelashes, his nose bridge, his slight smile lines and the crinkles by his eyes each time he ever so giggled.
"Seem we ran out of strawberries now." he says, hand resting on your hip bone, fingers still grazing your skin ever so slightly over the fabric of your sweats.
"You've literally eaten half of them." You say, trying really hard not to stutter again, if he ever so smirked again, you were sure your heart would stop beating. A simple nod was his answer to your words, eyes falling from your pupils to your lips, stopping on them to just admire them, not even daring to move in case you would disappear from his hold, in case his mind was tricking him.
"We can keep on going without rewards, it’s okay." He mutters, mind coming a bit back to his senses and forging him to lean away from you for a while, deep in his mind knowing that if he kept on looking at you from so closely, he wouldn’t be able to keep on studying. "Or maybe we can change the type of reward"
"What do you mean?" You ask in a small voice, not trusting yourself to talk louder, more than sure he could hear you clearly by how close he was.
He feels a spurt of confidence flowing through him, maybe biased to his own feelings as he interpretates your body language, but he feels like risking it all at this very moment, in front of you. "What about... a kiss, whenever you get right?" He mutters, voice wavering towards the end of the question, sudden hesitance. "If you don't want, we can forget that."
"W- whatever you like the most." You mutter, nodding surely to him, not missing the way his lips curve even more upwards. "I don't mind."
"What about here then?" He says, finger pad delicately grazing over your hip bone. "Can you tell me what this is?" He asks with so much honey in his voice you could feel it.
"Iliac.... something from the Ilion bone." You say, unsure about what even is left of the list, eyes unable to stray from his.
"Anterior superior iliac spine, love, I need you to concentrate, can't have you failing all of these on purpose." He teases, hand moving up to you ribcage, slowly, thumb rubbing against the skin of your waist, taking advantage of you slightly riled up shirt.
He places his hand on your ribs, point finger settling to sign right in the middle of your torso. "Here?"
"Xiphoid process of the sternum." You say, his smile widening as you talked, a small that's right leaving his lips as he got closer to you, taking you by surprise as he got lower, leaving a soft kiss right on the spot he previously touched over your shirt, a small airy gasp leaving you. You were going to die in the next couple of minutes if he kept this up.
Missing like 7 structures, his hand moves upwards, eyes never leaving you as he signaled where you collar bone met the sternum. "Sternal end of the clavicle, isn't it?" You say, and without any words he got closer again, leaving a soft featherlike kiss right there.
You were totally sure he could feel and hear you r heartbeat with how close he was and how silent everything became, his other hand had moved to draw little innocent figures on the skin of your stomach, under your shirt. In a moment of realization, you forced yourself to put a hand on his chest and push him apart.
"San?" You call up to him as he parts away, not missing the way his eyes dropped to stare at your lips as you said his name, probably in the most beautiful way he has ever heard it being said, your eyes doing as his and looking at his lips for a few seconds, a soft and deep hum coming from his. "Stop leading me on." You have the courage to muster, his eyes looking back to yours in confusion, your hand never leaving his chest.
"Leading you onto what?" He suddenly whispers, out of all the ways you could've tell him to stop, this was not an option in his mind, and he didn't knew how to decipher your words.
"You talk too beautifully San, I can't keep on falling for you and your pretty words, just how all those other girls do too." You say, your mind betraying your heart by playing memories of all those girls you have seen San hang up with and never talk to again; you knew he wasn't like that to you, you were only his friend, but you still could not take ending up as someone else.
"There are no other girls y/n, what are you on?" His voice became so clear not, no more whispers falling from his lips, straightening a bit as he heard you, a bit of hurt flashing through his face making you regret your words.
"Why are you being so flirty now? Why now San? If you are just playing around stop, please, I... I don't my heart could manage being played by you." You mutter in a whisper, feeling your insides drop to your feet just by saying those words, outing your feelings.
"What are you even saying y/n?" He asks, looking between both of your eyes as you talked. "I like you, I like you way too much to even think of something so cruel." He says heart clenching in his chest at the thought of you thinking something so vile. "I like you, y/n, fuck, for all I know I could even be falling in love with you."
"Do you mean it?" You ask, hand in his chest trailing slowly over to his shoulder, stopping right where it met with his neck. "Do you really mean what you are saying right now?"
"I never meant anything more in my life as I do right now, y/n."
"I like you too, I've liked you so much for so long." You finally confess, feeling like you could cry right now just by the way his eyes light up slowly, hands going around you waist to bring you closer once again.
"I hope you mean that as much I do, love." He mutters, bringing you so close your breaths mixed together once again, his eyes lidded and admiring all your features. "If you want me as I, do you, take me, take me however you like but let me be more than just your friend." He says, a fond feeling settling inside of his chest, overwhelming him in the best way possible.
"I would be more than pleased to be more than your friend, Sannie." You say, bravely pulling him by his shirt until your noses touch. His smile so wide his eyes almost disappear as he chuckles, making you smile from so deep in your heart, feeling it beating in your ears the second he leans in to close any distance between you.
His lips on yours bloom so many thing inside you, feelings you couldn't even think could exist, butterflies flying merrily in your belly as your hands tangled around his neck just the way his muscly arms hugged your waist. Lips dancing over the others in a symphony, the way they mold against each other making you smile against him, accidentally granting him access to kiss you more deeply until the lack of oxygen forces you apart, foreheads pressed together, and eyes closed, taking in the other's feelings.
"I feel like I'm dreaming, please tell me I'm not" He says softly, making you giggle, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose. "
"You are not dreaming, Sannie." You whisper, eyes opening only to find his already staring back, so many emotions in them you felt like laughing with happiness.
"I can't believe you truly thought I could play with your heart, if anything you are the one that could play me, but I wouldn't mind at all, you can play me all you want if it means I get to be close to you, I'm all yours." He whispers against your lips, bringing a soft smile out of you, eyes so sincere on each other's, not many words necessary to explain all you were feeling while being in each other’s arms.
"I don't think I can even come up with the idea of letting you walk out of my life now, San, much less play with your feelings." You whisper back, nose brushing his playfully, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "We should really keep studying." You say, bringing a groan out of him before kissing you again, so fondly and full of love you are forced to discard the idea.
"You missed quite a bunch of stuff earlier tho..." You mutter, the collar of his shirt between your fingers.
"I did?" He says a playful smirk in his lips his hand playing with your hair.
"Yeah... why don't we to a quick check up on how much you really know of them huh?" You ask in a mutter, your hot breath fanning his ear, goosebumps trailing his spine and cheeks growing red by the second.
Anatomy definitely was San's favorite subject.
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 10 months
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Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : mentions of past cheating ;slight possessiveness ; fighting ; manipulation ; Word Count : 4.4k
She’s got everything she could ever want, she’s got the man of her dreams, the house of her dreams, she’s living a dream. The entire world envied her, the way her man looked at her with such love in his eyes even when she wasn’t looking back at him, the silver bands that adorned her fingers worth more than most peoples house and cars put together. She’s the luckiest girl in the world, and she is you. 
The necklace that perfectly complimented your outfit was draped carefully around your neck and clasped in the back, delicate fingers tracing lightly over the exposed skin of your neck as you stared at yourself in the vanity mirror. “You don’t think I’m too overdressed, do you?” You asked, meeting Sans gaze in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 
“Of course not, babe. You look amazing.” San hummed, his hands running up and down your arms that would soon be covered by the thin knitted cardigan that hung on the back of the chair. “I’m so lucky I get to sit beside you tonight.” He murmured against the shell of your ear before pressing a kiss to your cheek. 
You couldn’t help but admire him as he stood up straight, the crisp white button up that he was wearing hadn’t even gotten wrinkled while he was leaning over. He always looked good, even when he wasn’t dressed up, but right now, he looked amazing. “The people who run the event… They know that I’ll be there with you too, right?” You asked, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror before getting up and following him out of the room. 
This was an important event for both you and San, him and the guys were being nominated for an award tonight, but this would also be the first event that you and San would be publicly seen together after getting married. There had been a lot of unofficial photographs from reporters and paparazzi that had been released over time, but none of them were truly trustable, this time though, everyone would know it’s true. 
“Of course they know you’ll be there, babe.” He walked over to you as you slipped on the heels that you knew would end up forgotten on the floor by the first half of the event, letting you use his shoulder to hold yourself steady as you stood up straight. “I made sure they remembered to put an extra two seats at the table, one seat for you that’ll be right beside me, and one seat for your purse.” He took a step back, his eyes scanning over you as a warm smile graced his features. “You look absolutely stunning, I���m so lucky.” 
You whispered a soft thank you, always feeling shy whenever he complimented you even after having been with him for so long. “Are you ready to go?” You asked, grabbing your bag off the hook and walking closer to the door, but San held his finger up, motioning for you to wait as he ran to the bedroom, quickly returning with your cardigan. “Ah… thank you, honey.” 
He held it out for you as you slipped your arms in, smoothing out the fabric once it was on your body, his smile growing wider as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now we’re ready to go.” He said softly, flicking off the lights as his other hand stayed on your lower back, leading you out the door. 
You wouldn’t say that San was controlling, you were allowed to do things, you were allowed to go out and hang with friends. San was just… very possessive of you. When you were out, he was constantly texting you, asking for pictures, making sure no one was getting too close to you, sometimes he’d even call you and ask you to keep the call going in the background just to hear your voice and make sure nothing was going on. It’s not that he didn’t trust you though, he just didn’t trust the world and the people that lived in it. The distrust wasn’t just targeted towards strangers or your friends though, he didn’t even trust his own groupmates, hence why there would be the “purse chair” as he called it, specifically there to keep the space between you and whatever unfortunate member would be on the opposite side of that chair, on the receiving end of Sans side eye for a majority of the night. 
The event venue was packed already, people showing up fashionably early, along with the reporters whose cameras flashed repeatedly in everyone's faces. San didn’t mind at all though, he was more than happy to be seen with you on his arm, your outfits perfectly matched to make you look like the perfect couple, and as of now, it felt like you truly were. 
Once the two of you made it through the front doors it was just a matter of finding the table that you’d sit at, and that wasn’t a problem considering most of the other guys had already shown up, jumping up from their chairs and waving you and San over. “You finally made it! It’s a mess out there, how was it getting through?” Wooyoung said when the two of you made it to the table, Sans hand was now gripping your own, holding it so tightly and so close to himself that he might as well have put your clasped hands in the pocket of his suit jacket. 
“What do you mean finally? We’re an hour and a half early?” San teased as he looked around the table, counting the chairs and then quickly claiming three for you, himself and your bag. “It’s crazy out there though, those flashes almost blinded Y/N.” He said your name with such reverence, smiling to you as he pulled out your chair and then took your purse and placed it on the chair beside you before any of the guys could take the seat. “Speaking of… This is my wife.” He took his seat, his arm immediately draping over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as his other hand lifted the glass of water that was on the table. 
“I’m glad we get to meet in a more formal setting this time.” Seunghwa said with a smirk, and you couldn’t help but be confused since this was the first time you had met him and the other guys in general. “It only took San three months of sneaking you in the dorms to finally marry you, that must be true love there.” Seunghwa raised his glass and the guys all followed suit, the seven of them wearing smiles as they looked at you and San. “Congratulations.” 
It was crazy how Seunghwa, who was just trying to be a little funny, had essentially ruined your marriage, ruined your relationship, and broken your heart all at once. It didn’t take deep thought or some confusing equation for you to add things up. You knew that San and yourself had been together way longer than three months. The marriage certificate had been filled out two months ago, and you had been engaged for five months before that, and even before that, the two of you had been dating steadily for a year and a half. It wasn’t even just the math though, it was the fact that you had never even stepped foot into the dorms, and surely if you had, you wouldn’t have to be snuck in. 
Sans body was tense, and you could feel him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes, awaiting your reaction. He knew he fucked up, but there were so many people around, he didn’t want to make a scene and go off on Seunghwa for dropping the bomb. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” You said, already pushing your chair back, trying your best to hold onto the calm composure that you had been carrying before you were hit with such news. 
“Y/N…” San whispered, grabbing your hand and looking up at you with wide eyes that were screaming at you to stay. He knew you were pissed, he just didn’t exactly know what that would mean. You used your free hand to grab your purse, slinging it over your shoulder as you tried to pull away without making it too obvious. “Why are you taking your purse, I can watch it?” 
“For lady reasons…” You whispered right back, proud of how quick your mind was able to come up with an excuse while being so frazzled. “I’ll be right back.” You said to the guys at the table, but you and San knew better, you wouldn’t be back at all. His eyes watched you as you walked away, knowing that this view would be the last he’d have of you, at least for the rest of the night. 
Of course you weren’t just going to sit there beside him, pretending to be the happy wife of someone that you had just found out cheated on you. It sucked, but what made it worse was the fact that he had done it a month before you got married, and you weren’t sure how long he had been doing it before then either. San didn’t value you, he didn’t cherish you, and you were beginning to believe that he was only so possessive of you because he had a guilty conscience, and he was scared that you’d do the same thing he did. 
Both your wedding and engagement ring were promptly slid off and left on the sink counter at the venue before walking out and calling yourself a cab. You needed to go home, you needed to think, not about how to fix things, but how to end things without it turning into a big argument. You wouldn’t have been able to do that at the venue, you needed to be alone with your thoughts. 
How were you going to end things? It wouldn’t be easy, you knew that. He wouldn’t leave willingly, you knew the kind of person he was. He’d make all kinds of excuses, and then he’d try to soften you up, make you forget all about it. You couldn’t let that happen, you knew there was a chance, he was so charming, so manipulative, you wondered if he even knew. You needed time, time to prepare yourself for what was to come. 
You started with the hardest task, packing up all of his clothes into his suitcases, and when the suitcases ran out of room, you started tossing his clothes into bags that all ended up lined up at the front door. It would be the first sight to greet him when he walks in. Award shows lasted pretty long, and there were often after parties, although you weren’t sure if San would go to this one. Maybe he would, just to grab a couple drinks before walking into the storm that was awaiting him at home. 
Next to go were the pictures, pictures of you and him when you were so happy, so naive, so clueless as to what he was truly doing. He was happy too, and why would he not be? He hadn’t been caught yet, and he was probably under the assumption that he never would be. That’s the thing about cheaters, about cheating in general… It’ll only be so long before things come out, whether it’s from their own slip up, or from an unaware friend who has no idea. 
The pictures in the frames were promptly trashed, replaced with the original pictures that had once been in there. Pictures of you with friends and family, surrounded by people who loved you, people who would never hurt you. The pictures would serve as a constant reminder to you that even without San there, you still had people there for you. 
It didn’t change the fact that you were devastated though. You could remove his clothes from the bedroom, you could remove the pictures from the frames, but you couldn’t get rid of the memories, not this quickly. Anger had fueled you in your quest to pack up and get rid of everything that was his, but once you were done, the only thing you could do was cry. Cry over the years that you wasted, years that had you falling deeper and deeper in love with him until he slipped those two rings on your finger. You had been so excited, planning the wedding venue and looking at wedding dresses, making a list of all the people that you were going to invite. It was all for nothing though, everything that had to do with him was just a waste of time. 
That’s when he came in, of course it would be. He couldn’t walk through the front door when you were emotionally stronger, no… He came back when you were weak, sobbing on the couch as you gripped onto the throw pillow. “So that’s it…? You don’t want to talk about it?” He asked, looking around at the bags on the floor, knowing damn well that his stuff was inside of them. 
“What’s there to talk about?” You mumbled, turning your head to glance at him over the back of the couch. Your vision was blurry from the tears that filled your eyes, but you saw him, standing in the doorway, shoulders slumped as he watched you. “You cheated… I have nothing to say to you.” 
He watched as you got up off the couch, letting you take a few steps before practically running to you, grabbing your arm and turning you around to face him. “You really want to end it like this? How do you know Seunghwa was telling the truth, huh? You really think I’d cheat on you after proposing to you? You’re too trusting… You believe anything…” 
“Is that why you panicked?” You retorted, trying your best to hold your head high although you were beyond embarrassed, you were humiliated. “You knew that he was telling the truth, that’s why you got so tense. That’s how I knew it was the truth.” You weakly pushed against his chest, sobbing softly as your head shook. “As if it wasn’t bad enough to be cheated on, it had to be by you. The whole world is going to find out soon enough and…” You sniffled loudly, wiping your tears on your sleeve. “And I’m going to be the fool! Not you! So just… take your stuff and go… please.” 
His arms dropped to the side, completely defeated. “I’ll go…” He muttered, backing up slowly as his own tears began to fall. There was no point in arguing with you, not right now, not when the wounds were so fresh. You were right, and you had every right to be angry with him. “I’ll take as much as I can… I’m sorry…” 
Anger took hold of him as he sped through crowded streets, making his way to the dorms where the guys were most likely just now getting in. One mistake, it was in the past and that’s where he wanted to keep it, but Seunghwa just had to bring it up. What was the point of bringing it up? It was a mistake that he wanted to forget about making. He wasn’t proud of it, he hated himself for doing it, that’s why he clung to you, doted upon you, practically worshiped you. You were Sans everything, and now what? Were you truly done with him? Did you really not want anything to do with him? It was all Seunghwas fault… him and his mouth… 
San stormed into the dorms, the doorknob slamming against the wall and then bouncing back, slamming shut and just further holding the attention of the other guys who sat around in the living room, still slightly drunk from the afterparty. “Yah! San, what are you doing?!” Hongjoong called out, the only one who looked even slightly sober in the group right now. 
The few bags that he had been able to take with him from the apartment were dropped onto the floor as he stormed over to Seunghwa, his finger in the older man’s face, his hand shaking with his anger. “You… You did this! Why do you talk?!” San shouted, the other guys finally catching on enough to try to pull him back. “You ruined everything! I love her! I do! Why…?!” He was breathing heavily as tears streamed down his face, the guys finally able to get him as far away from Seunghwa as possible in the short moment of weakness. 
“What are you talking about?” Seunghwa was genuinely, and rightfully, confused by the sudden outburst, but it was soon replaced by panic as he jumped up, his eyes going wide. “Did I embarrass her? What happened, is she okay?” His head shook as he ran his hands over his alcohol induced reddened face. “I really didn’t mean to upset her… Did something bad happen?” 
Everyone in the room was now looking to San for answers, but he could only chuckle humorlessly as he pushed the guys back. “Did something… did…” He could barely get the words out as his breaths quickened once more, his nostrils flaring as anger evolved into pure rage. “I’m losing my fucking wife! She… She kicked me out because…” And as quickly as that rage had lit up inside of him, it was burnt out, guilt and regret crashing over him like waves during a storm. “It wasn’t her… I fucked up… And I wanted to… to forget… I didn’t want her to know…” His voice became a whisper as he slid down the wall, falling to the floor and curling up into himself. “I was drunk… and she was out of town… and I felt awful about it immediately… that’s… that’s why I made her leave so early. I didn’t think anyone would be awake… I don’t… I don’t even drink anymore because I’m so… I’m so scared of something like that happening again and… I love Y/N… I don’t want to lose her…” 
Seunghwa fell back onto the couch, his face in his hands as heavy sighs escaped him. “It’s not my fault… How was I supposed to know?” He muttered, taking a deep breath as he lifted his head to look at San. “You didn’t tell us anything… You didn’t even tell us that you were getting married. We didn’t find out until that meeting with the manager before the show. Then… Then you have the nerve to come in here getting mad at me because… because I assumed that she was that girl… It’s not my fault that you hid your wife.” He stood up, eyes like daggers glaring at San. “And it’s not my fault that you cheated on her either.” 
“I…” San started, his breath shaky as he pushed himself up off the floor. “I hid her because she was mine! I love her… I… I didn’t mean to cheat on her, it just… It happened and I know that it doesn’t make it any better but…” He sniffled softly as he leaned against the wall, his head falling back as tears streaming down his face. “But I don’t want to be without her… I…” A sharp gasp shot through his lips as he turned to go into his own room, a room that he hadn’t been in in three months, a room that he’d much rather forget even existed along with the memories that lingered beneath the sheets of his bed. 
You knocked quickly on the door, a few of the bags that you were able to lug into the building by yourself on the floor beside your feet as you waited for someone to answer. It’s not like no one was home, you could hear the tv from the other side of the door… Maybe they just couldn’t hear you? So you knocked louder, your fist hurting from the force behind it. “Yah! Open the damn-” Before you could get the last word out, the door swung open, and there he was. 
“Y/N…” San whispered your name, his eyes wide and already welling with tears the moment he looked at you. “You’re here…” A shaky hand ran through his hair as he took a step back, motioning for you to come inside. “I’m making ramen… If you want some. I have other food too, I always keep all your favorites… I’ve been waiting for… I… I miss you.” 
God, why were you crying? He hurt you? And why should he be crying when you were the one who’s gone through three months of pain because of him? “I just came to drop off the rest of your things.” You said, avoiding eye contact, knowing that the more you looked at him, the more you’d be hurt. “I was only able to carry up a little… The rest is in my car. You can come down and get it… Or not. I don’t care. I’ve waited for you to come pick it up long enough though.” 
“I didn’t want to pick it up… I thought that you’d ask me to come back at some point.” Of course he’d think that. You didn’t have time to play this game with him, and going back and forth would only cause you both more heartache. You quickly turned on your heel, if he wasn’t going to get his stuff, you’d just give it to people who need it. “W-Wait… Don’t leave… Don’t leave me…” He grabbed your elbow, yanking you back to him until you crashed against his chest. “You don’t know how hard it’s been… Without you… I feel like I could die… I hate it… I hate not being with you.” 
“I… don’t know how hard it’s been?” You repeated breathlessly, scoffing as you pushed him back. “You don’t know! First I get cheated on by you and I find out about it three months later and then… I can’t even leave my own house with reporters and paparazzi shoving their stupid cameras in my face and asking why they haven’t seen us together and why I wasn’t still at the award show when you made your speech. And for some reason I care about you too much to tell them the truth… So I’m the bad one…” You watched as his face fell, his arms still outstretched as if to wrap around you. “You feel like you could die… But I wish I would. You don’t know what it’s like to constantly be attacked and not be able to say anything… I don’t know why I still protect you… Just… Get your things so I can go.” 
“I’ll tell them… I’ll publically announce what I did just so they’ll leave you alone.” He grabbed your hand again, this time just holding it tightly, terrified that if he let you go once more that you’d finally leave. “Just stay with me… I want to work this out… I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care what happens with the group or anything, I don’t care what the fans think of me, or what the agency says… I made a mistake and I’ll pay for it, but I swear on everything, I’ve never made that mistake again. I don’t even drink, I don’t go out unless it’s with you.” 
He kept pulling you closer, and you were tired of trying to pull away, it’s not like it would do any good, he’d just keep pulling you back, and as much as you tried to ignore the feelings, you missed him, you missed his touch, his hugs, his kisses. You missed everything about him. “Why do they hate me so much… They don’t know me… They don’t know what I’m going through. They don’t know what you did to me…” You allowed yourself to fall once again against his chest, and this time he pulled you further into the dorms, shutting the door behind you and moved you to the couch. 
“They hate you because they’re not you.” He responded matter of factly, brushing his hand over your hair as he pulled you down onto the couch beside him. “They’ll know what I’ve done, and they’ll know how lucky I am to have a wonderful woman that sticks beside me, even though I’m an idiot… I know I don’t deserve you… But I don’t want to live without you either.”
“Yah…” You muttered, sniffling softly and pulling back to look at him. “Wh-Who said I was still your wife? You’re an idiot… Choi San… And I don’t marry idiots…” You mumbled, turning your back to him to stare out the window. 
You felt the couch vibrate with his silent laughter, his arms snaking around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. “Well… Maybe you can give this idiot a chance… Just one? Just one chance to prove that he’s madly in love with you, and would do anything to keep you… Please.” His lips pressed against your neck, and you swore it felt like electricity coursing through your veins. 
“Such an idiot…” You grumbled, although you felt yourself instinctively leaning back against him until you were leaning once more against his chest, his arms still tightly surrounding you, and truthfully, in his arms was the only place you ever wanted to be. 
“Ah… but you’re also madly in love with this idiot… so let me help you out here.” His tone was lighter now, and you could still feel his body shaking with his laughter as he fumbled in his pockets. “My beautiful wife, your hand looked so empty without your rings… How could you possibly forget them in the restroom?” He teased, grabbing your hand and quickly slipping the band back onto your ring finger. “Much better… Right?” 
You turned your head to stick your tongue out at him, but his lips quickly crashed against yours and you hated how much you realized you needed him at that moment, how happy you were to finally have him back. You trusted him though, and as much as he had hurt you and humiliated you, you loved him. “Mm…” You hummed once he finally pulled back, holding your hand up to look at the rings that were finally back in their rightful spot. “Let’s go home… We have a lot of unpacking to do.” 
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roomsofangel · 3 months
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. . SO IT GOES !
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if you asked choi san, his soulmate was absolutely crazy — who the hell eats sardines at three in the morning? not only that, but why was his pizza missing?
if you asked y/n l/n, she was just really hungry.
pairing dancer!san x barista!fem!reader
genre/tags social media au, written, humor/crack, fluff, angst, suggestive, slow burn (kinda, depending on how you see it), college / soulmate au
warnings timestamps/sm numbers + hair colors dont mean anything, but my raging perfectionism tries to make it coherent and matchy. a lot of swearing because im incapable of writing anything that doesn’t involve my sailor mouth. mentions of unhealthy eating/overall serious topics. questionable humor. cyber bullying. sexism/slutshaming. mental illness/anxiety. a lot of dishonesty on san’s end since he isn’t ready for a soulmate. mentions of alcohol/drugs. y/n had a tough childhood that will be mentioned in brief passing but all chapters will have a more thorough warnings if needed — please let me know if i missed something!
notes the taglist is open! & y/n does have a specific faceclaim for pictures, but i try to use a variety!
featuring ateez, a few ocs for y/n’s friends, kang taehyun & choi yeonjun (txt), lee felix (stray kids), shin ryujin (itzy)
status ongoing
elf practice | dysFUNctional family | priv accounts
(quality possibly will suck until chapter twelve! apologies! i moved over this fic from @solenthill to this account and didnt realize how bad the quality was</3)
. . # chapters !
chapter zero | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine | chapter ten | chapter eleven | chapter twelve | chapter thirteen | chapter fourteen | chapter fifteen | chapter sixteen | chapter seventeen | chapter eighteen | chapter nineteen | chapter twenty | to be continued
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yoongiseesawmp3 · 2 months
Text
ceilings pt2 - san (m)
summary: pe teacher!san x not so single mom!reader. now that san knows about his daughter, he's determined to worm his way into her life. and yours. and maybe your home? or, the one where violet's mom and dad fall in love.
word count: 16.3k (i could say i'm sorry but i'm not)
warnings: SMUT! afab reader, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving). this is unedited and i am sorry about that
masterlist / part one
"mommy, where's daddy?"
"he's at home, sugar," you answer violet. she's been asking about her dad a lot more lately, considering she now knows that san, her pe teacher, is her father. the two of you told violet the same night that you told san, and at first you worried that was the wrong choice. you were worried this would be too much for violet all at once and she wouldn't understand, so you and san came up with a plan.
you still drove violet to school every day, but she'd come home with san. he'd always bring her back to your house and watch her until you got home. every other night, the two of you would make dinner, or san would treat his girls to whatever they wanted if you were too lazy to cook. on the weekends, he and violet had daddy daughter days where he took her to the park, to birthday parties, friend's houses for playdates, the store...they went anywhere and everywhere together. daddy daughter days were always followed by family fun days where san would spend the night and wake up with you in his arms and violet knocking at the door asking to play. these were his favorites (and yours too) because it was just a glimpse of how wonderful your life as a family could be.
it was so hard for san to leave, though. he hated going back to his empty apartment during the week, and family fun days usually carried over into monday morning. the only thing stopping san from coming back and staying that night, and the next, and the next..the only thing stopping him was you.
you claim you were too afraid of changing violet's schedule so quickly, because san was, in a way, still a stranger to your daughter. you were afraid of doing anything that would hurt violet now or later on in life, so you wanted to take things slow with san. in reality, you were afraid of opening your own life to him. you know he's a great dad, you know you can trust him with violet, but you're afraid of trusting him with yourself. honestly, violet has been handling this great. now it's just you that needs to adjust.
you will say, the only growing pain so far is 1) getting violet to refer to san as mr. choi still at school and 2) getting her to not call him mr. dad at home. other than that, she's loving this whole dad thing. she's got another playmate, a new best buddy, a partner in crime. it's so cool seeing violet and san bond finally, and every day you catch yourself loving them both more and more.
"when we finish dinner, can we call him?" she asks. (she saw him less than an hour ago.)
"as soon as you eat your broccoli," you tell her, and you have to stifle a laugh at the way she rolls her eyes. your little drama queen. she listens though, because she's done with her food in record time. you let her take your phone and call her dad, laughing at the way she's speaking a mile a minute as soon as he picks up.
while violet and san talk, you clean up dinner. you don't have to do much, because san did most of your dishes while he waited for you to get home from work today. you're trying to balance the mess in your fridge and find space for the leftovers when you notice something you don't remember buying. you pull it out and see a handwritten note, from san, telling you he bought your favorite dessert "just because." you're pulling it from the fridge to sneak a couple bites without violet knowing when she appears in the doorway, your phone smooshed between her cheek and her shoulder. squeezed in her hands is san's old pillow, shiber, and she plays with it as she asks, "mommy? can daddy spend the night?"
"huh?" you laugh, recognizing how odd that sentence is. it's just another reminder for you that you need to get comfortable with san being here, being with you, because the longer you wait, the less she gets to see of her dad. you can hear san faintly through the phone, and then violet nods, goes, "mhm, she's right here," then passes the phone to you. "daddy said he wants to talk to you."
"is this the handsome man who left a tiramisu in my fridge this afternoon?" you greet him, and you get butterflies in your stomach when you hear his happy laugh.
"and what if it is?"
"thank you, san."
"of course, m'love," he says like it's nothing. "figured you would like it."
"so what's this i hear about you spending the night?" you ask as you try a bite of the tiramisu. it's sweet and comforting, just like san.
"that was violet's idea, i swear-"
"so you won't admit that you miss me?" you tease.
"will you admit that you miss me?" he gives it right back, and you feel your face flush.
"i do," you nod. "i miss you. if you want to spend the night tonight you can. sorry you had to go home-"
"don't say sorry," he cuts you off. "i'll be there in 20."
-
san is at your house in 15 minutes. he lets himself in, which will never not surprise you, because you're so used to being the only person with a key to your house. while you're recovering from the small heart attack of thinking an intruder was opening the front door, violet comes tearing out of her room screeching for her dad. she's so happy to see him, she jumps into his arms and he has to catch himself on the door to stop from falling. you let them have a moment, content to hang off to the side but san pulls you into his side and places a delicate kiss on your cheek.
"hey," he smiles.
"hello," you squeak, and he squeezes you closer to his side. "you want me to take your stuff to our room?"
"our room?" he asks, his smile growing bigger. "you've never called it that before."
"do you want me to take it or not," you deadpan, trying to will the blush away from your cheeks.
"yeah, you can take my stuff to our room," he emphasizes. "i'll get our daughter ready for bed."
"no!" violet whines. "you just got here!"
"you still have school tomorrow, bug," he tells her, booping her nose. "gotta stick to bedtime, but i'll read you an extra book after your bath. ok?"
"ok," she grumbles, wiggling her way out of his arms so she can stomp off to her room. you and san share a laugh and you turn to take his things, but his firm hand tugging your wrist stops you. he pulls you back to his side, cupping his hand under your chin so he can kiss your lips swiftly.
"you know we can kiss in front of her, right?" you whisper to him, but san shakes his head.
"wanted that one to be just for me and you," he says, his hand slipping from your wrist to playfully pat your ass. "go, i'll get her bath started."
"so pushy," you grumble, but you see san smiling from the corner of your eye as you take his things to your room.
not so long after that, you find your little family cuddled up on violet's bed. you're pushed up against the wall, violet smushed into your side, and san's broad form takes up the rest of the bed. he's reading a book to violet that's putting you and your daughter to sleep, and before you know it you've drifted off. you register a soft kiss to your forehead, the bed shifting a little, and then you fall into the deepest sleep you've had in years.
you wake up the next morning in a similar way, except this time, you feel two pairs of lips kissing you. you open your eyes to violet kissing your cheek and san pulling back from kissing your forehead. they're both dressed for school, and you sit up in a panic, mumbling incoherently.
"shh, baby, go back to sleep," san soothes you. "i'll take violet to school, i reset your alarm so you can rest a little more before you have to leave for work."
"what?" you ask groggily, and san explains that the three of you fell asleep in violet's bed. she woke up before her alarm, which woke san up, and he made their breakfast and packed their lunches while violet got dressed. there was nothing for you to do but sit there confused, a pleasant feeling blossoming in your chest. "i guess i'll see you tonight then?"
"you will," san nods, brushing some hair out of your face. "now please, go back to sleep."
"no," you shake your head, reaching for violet. "goodbye hugs. have a good day at school, sugar."
"i will!" she chirps. "it's a pe day, so i get to eat lunch in daddy's office!"
"ooo, i'm jealous," you say as you let her go. you blow san a kiss as he ushers violet out of her room, and he catches it dramatically and pops it into his pocket. he winks at you before he closes the door, reminding you one last time to rest before he leaves. when you hear the front door close, you let yourself fall back onto violet's pillows, catching the scent of san lingering in the sheets. you could get used to mornings like this.
-
san and violet have a great day at school. as promised, she got to eat lunch in his office, and she felt like the coolest person in the world getting walked back to class by her dad. hand in hand they go back to miss jen's room, meeting the class outside as they take a potty break. violet runs to join her friends, so san stops to say hi to jen.
"we missed you at lunch today," she says. "wooyoung thought you were having a conjugal visit with your wife."
"shut up."
"his words, not mine," she says, putting her hands up. "but violet told me you brought her to school today? is y/n ok?"
"yeah, she's fine," san shrugs. "i just figured she could use the sleep, so i got violet ready and brought her with me this morning."
"you spent the night?" jen wiggles her eyebrows.
"it's not like that," san laughs. "we all slept in violet's bed, no funny business."
"that's fucking cute," jen whispers, her eyes looking over her class to make sure they didn't hear her use a bad word. "things must be going well then!"
"it was violet's idea, me spending the night," san sighs, "but y/n was fine with it, so i guess, yeah, things are great."
"why don't you ask to move in? i know you want to."
"y/n would say no," san shakes his head. "she's not ready for that."
"then we'll make her ready!" jen decides. "i need you two to be madly in love already. i'm living vicariously through you right now."
"if you would just go on a date with wooyoung-"
"stop," jen points a harsh finger in san's face. "we are friends."
"friends who like each other-"
"come on, class, let's go!" jen calls for her kids, and san sticks his tongue out at her as she hurries off. if jen can play matchmaker with him and y/n, then san has every right to get her to realize wooyoung is obsessed with her. he'll bring it up to y/n tonight, see what else they can do.
-
seeing as you and san are trying to figure this whole estranged friends turned lovers turned parents thing out, one thing you struggle with is finding moments just to be a couple together. you and san never dated, really. yes, some of your time in college could constitute as the early stages of a relationship, but that doesn't really count. you're not sure you and san have ever been on a date under the premise of it being a date, but you are absolutely dating. he's your boyfriend, and you're his girlfriend. it feels trivial trying to define what you are to each other considering the circumstances, so you and san barely talk about it. it hasn't come up in a while, actually, but one friday while you're picking violet up from school, san approaches your car with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"hey beautiful," he greets you, leaning down to give you a kiss as yeosang (mr. kang, the librarian) helps violet into her carseat. at the sound of your lips popping apart from san's, yeosang gasps dramatically with violet.
"how dare you do that in public," yeosang shakes his head. "there's children present."
"mommy and daddy kiss all the time," violet tells him, and you all stifle laughs at the disgust in her voice.
"thanks for the help, man," san calls to yeosang as he heads off to grab the next carpooler. san ducks his head back into your car to ask, "what are you doing tonight?"
"hmm, nothing really," you think. "somebody has to help me clean the living room," you say with a glance to violet in the rearview, and she looks around like she can't hear you, "but other than that we're not busy. why?"
"let me take you out," san smiles.
"just me?"
"yep."
"what's our kid gonna do?"
"wooyoung can watch her," san shrugs, and you look at him skeptically. "orrr we could bother jen last minute-"
"she's got a date," you inform him, and san looks sad for a moment. "what's wrong with that?"
"that's gonna kill wooyoung," he sighs. "but whatever. he'll be fine with violet, he handles a third grade class on his own and so far he's only killed a fish."
"what?"
"baby, please," san starts to beg, grabbing one of your hands in his bigger ones and squeezing tight. "i would like to go on a date with you tonight. please say yes."
"of course i'll go out with you sannie," you reply, using your free hand to reach out and push some of his hair out of his eyes. "if you trust wooyoung with violet, then sure. just tell me where to be and when."
"be ready at seven," san smiles so big you're afraid it'll split his face. "i'll pick you up. dress sexy."
"san!"
"mommy, what does sexy mean?"
"sorry," san smiles still, leaning in to kiss you one last time. "see you later. bye bug!"
"bye daddy!"
-
you've always tried to be a good role model for violet, to show her what a strong woman looks like. you're not sure how that's translating tonight though, because you're stressing so much about this date with san that violet, in her little kid ways, is trying to comfort you. first she brought you her favorite stuffie to keep you company while you got ready. while you showered and stressed over your makeup, violet cleaned her toys in the living room without being asked. when she finished that and saw you were still frantic, she just climbed on your bed amidst the piles of clothes and started giving her own advice.
"daddy likes when you have sparkles on your eyes," she suggests, and you know she means glittery eyeshadow. san says it makes your eyes look like the night sky, and it always makes your stomach flip.
"if i wear that eyeshadow, then i need to wear one of these," you say as you hold up your outfit options. "these colors go together best."
"really?" violet scrunches her face up.
"yes? why?"
"that shirt is ugly," she says bluntly, pointing to the hanger in your right hand. "but i don't like that dress either. it's a yucky color."
the "yucky" color was an olive green, which you thought wasn't that bad, but violet had a point. the shirt was ugly now that you looked at it, and if she hated the dress too...
"what do you think i should wear, baby?" you ask as you try to organize the mess on your bed. "you pick."
"mmm, something blue," she says confidently, so you help her look. surprisingly, she puts together an outfit that you really like. violet stands in front of you in the floor length mirror, staring up at you proudly. you lean down to squeeze her into a tight hug, kissing her cheek before telling her this outfit is perfect.
violet looks so pleased with herself as you stand back up and watch her in the reflection. you focus a lot on how violet looks like san, but every once in a while you look at her and get this indescribable feeling of recognition in your chest. she is your daughter through and through, and you love sharing moments like these with her. as you stand there, you quickly notice that same glint of mischief you've seen in san's eyes before as she says, "do you think daddy's gonna call you sexy again?"
-
san comes over early with wooyoung in tow. the first thing he says when he enters your home isn't a hello, a nice to meet you, or anything remotely polite. he looks you dead in the eyes and asks, "why is jen on a date with seonghwa?!"
"excuse me?" you ask, looking from him to your date. san just shrugs before running off to find violet, leaving you all alone to answer wooyoung's interrogation.
"i mean, i've only been in love with her for years and instead of going out with me she picks this guy just because he's new and shiny and annoying.." wooyoung grumbles.
"you're annoying too, man," san says as he enters the room with violet in his arms.
"hi mr. wooyoung," she chirps, and wooyoung smiles warmly at her.
"hey violet! i'm your dad's best friend, so i think you and i will be best friends, too."
"i thought mommy was his best friend," violet pouts, and that sends wooyoung into another rant.
"you can have more than one best friend," you tell your daughter. "mommy has more than one best friend, and nobody is upset about that," you shoot wooyoung a look, and the mom eyes get him to shut up. "also, if you've been in love with jen for years then you've had plenty of chances to ask her out. sorry that seonghwa manned up and did it before you-"
"wooyoung, let me show you where all of vi's stuff is," san cuts in, afraid that you and wooyoung were about to get into a catty argument. you'd be late for your reservation if san let you keep going, so he runs through all the important things for wooyoung as you finish making violet's dinner. you don't hear san join you in the kitchen, too distracted by the sound of wooyoung and violet pretending to be what sounds like fighter pilots in the living room. you jump when san wraps his hands around your waist, sliding under the apron you tied over your dress to keep it pristine while you cooked.
"hey gorgeous," he whispers into your ear, and you feel goosebumps erupt over your skin as his lips trail from your ear down the column of your neck and to the exposed skin on your shoulder. he turns you around, hands still firmly around your waist, and he kisses you quickly. against your lips, he whispers, "this dress is gonna kill me."
"you'll be fine," you whisper back, hands rubbing over the crisp black fabric struggling to stay buttoned over his broad chest. you take him in then, the all black outfit making him look so handsome it's almost intimidating. the way his shirt is buttoned all the way to his neck, though...
"what's wrong?" san asks, his thumb rubbing at the crease between your eyebrows. "is my shirt wrinkly?"
"no, you just look like a waiter-"
"y/n," san whines, his hands squeezing your waist. "seriously baby?"
"well it's just," you start, your fingers finding their way to the collar of his shirt. "with all the buttons done up, yes, you look like a - very handsome - waiter. i think it'd look better this this," you mumble, undoing the top few buttons. now it's san's turn to get goosebumps, little tingles traveling across his skin as your fingers brush against his neck. you readjust his collar to show a little more skin, and you smile, satisfied with your work when you notice how flushed he is.
"better?" he asks as he clears his throat, and you nod.
"will you get violet in here? her food is ready."
once violet is set up at the kitchen table with her dinner, you and san start to say your goodbyes. you're running through violet's nighttime routine with wooyoung, and the boys assure you that you'll come home to your daughter in one piece.
"i've watched kids before, y/n," wooyoung says. "violet will be fine."
"you know i'll kick your ass if we come home and she's not," san says, and you hit his arm as violet calls out, "swear jar, daddy!"
"ok, we really need to go," you say. "we're gonna be late-"
"wait!" wooyoung shouts, getting up from the kitchen table with his phone out. "baby's first date. i need to get a picture."
"wooyoung," you groan as san says, "let him, baby. it'll be cute."
so you let wooyoung dramatically take pictures of you and san together, treating this more like senior prom than a date with someone you've known for almost ten years. san is eating this up, but you're trying to fight it. he's wrapping you in his arms, trying to kiss you for the photos, and you can't help it, you become a giggly mess. wooyoung is cooing over you two as he snaps the photos, but your eyes find violet watching from the kitchen. she's smiling, and it almost makes you tear up. you hope violet remembers moments like this as she gets old, and remembers how much you love san and how much he loves you. you want this same kind of love for her, something pure, protective, and so caring. you want this girl's standards so high, because she deserves all the love in the world. you wonder for a moment if you've found that kind of love, and when san calls your name to lead you out the door, you know. the look in his eyes tells you just how loved you are.
-
you and san share a beautiful evening together. san took you into the city to one of your favorite restaurants, and you were spoiled all night. dinner was delicious, the champagne was just strong enough that you're just tipsy but still very aware of how warm san makes you feel, and you share a dessert that you took turns feeding to each other. as far as "first" dates go, this was absolutely perfect.
neither of you wanted to leave, but you knew you had to get home for violet. she's on your mind as you make the short walk back to san's car, and a sign in the distance catches your eye. you turn to san with a twinkle in your eyes and say, "let's get donuts."
"what? baby, aren't you stuffed?" he asks, but you shake your head and grab his hand anyway. you lead the way to the donut shop a few blocks down, san following behind you with a content smile on his face. he'd follow you anywhere, he thinks. hell, if you wanted to run down this street until you ran out of road he'd follow you. he's glad the trek isn't that far though, but he wonders briefly if your shoes will be able to make the walk back to the car.
"violet will be so stoked to have donuts for breakfast tomorrow," you finally explain, and san nods along as you pick out what's left from the day. you're still gripping his hand firmly in yours, so you struggle to reach your purse when it's time to pay. san uses his free hand to take out his wallet, paying before you have a chance.
"still date night, still my treat," he whispers to you before kissing the top of your head. he takes the bag of donuts from the cashier as you both call out your thanks, and san sees you grab a couple napkins before he tugs you out of the store.
"gimme," you reach out for the bag, and san holds it out to you. you search for something, tongue peeking out between your lips in concentration. when you find what you want, you pull it out with one of the napkins, presenting a strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles. you take a bite, humming at the sweetness, and then you hold it up in front of san's face. "take a bite, it's really good."
"i'm full my love," he tells you, but you bump the donut into his mouth anyway. when he laughs, you try it again and aim for his open mouth, but he keeps managing to pull away. laughing softly, you come to a stop at a red light, and you decide to address something.
"san? you know i love you right?" you ask, and san looks at you in confusion. "what? you didn't know?"
"no, i knew," he shakes his head. "but, baby, i don't think we've said that to each other before."
"yes we have," you scoff, but san shakes his head again.
"as friends, yeah. but not seriously."
"oh."
"yeah."
"sorry?"
"sorry?" san chuckles, the light turning so you can cross the street. he watches you carefully try to navigate the bumpy crosswalk, and when you look back up at him he sees that you're blushing.
"yeah, i'm sorry i said it like that for the first time," you shrug. "like it wasn't a big deal."
"it's still a big deal," he assures you.
"but that's not how you're supposed to tell someone you love them!"
"i think we just do things differently, baby."
"whatever," you mumble. you're stopped at another light, so you turn to him fully, eyes holding his gaze, and say, "choi san, i love you."
"y/f/n," he replies, "i love you even more."
"oh really?"
"yeah," he nods. "like, way more."
"hmm."
"and you know what?" he asks. you hum in reply, and he continues. "i think your name would sound a loooot better with my last name."
"what?" you stop in your tracks. "are you-"
"i'm not proposing," he laughs. "just flirting, a little bit."
"oh so we're flirting now?" you ask. "then might i say, your ass looks great in those slacks."
"classy," san squeaks out. you're coming up on the street where you parked, and you stop san before he can turn. he's about to ask why, but you just point up toward the buildings ahead. it's a clear night, so you can almost see the stars in the night sky, but the skyline is glittering in front of you so beautifully it takes your breath away. you stand together admiring it, and only when you turn to find san already looking at you do you pull him in the direction of the car.
he unlocks the car from your side, but you stop him before he can leave. you wrap your arms around his neck, lean your face close to his, and whisper, "i love you so much, san." you kiss his forehead, then his nose, then his lips, and he boxes you in so you're pressed against the cool metal of the car as he deepens the kiss. you make out for what feels like only a few seconds, but when san finally pulls away you notice you're out of breath.
"let's go home," he whispers, a fire in his eyes you've only seen once before. you've got butterflies in your stomach as san drives home, a firm hand on your thigh the whole way. you're watching him the whole drive, and san tries to focus on the road. he steals glances as much as he can, and when you get close to your house you start to get antsy. you place your hand on his, pushing it ever so slightly farther up your leg, and san's other hand is gripping the wheel so hard he's afraid it'll snap. he speeds the final few minutes back to your house, and as soon as the car is off he's grabbing your face and crashing his lips on yours. your hands start at his shoulders and slowly make their way down...and then there's a buzzing sound coming from somewhere. you want to pull away and look for the phone, but san holds you tightly in place. you have to speak directly into his mouth to ask, "who is it?"
"who cares?" san mumbles back into your lips. he keeps kissing you, and the buzzing dies out. but then you feel your purse start to vibrate by your feet, and you push san away with a pop as his lips disconnect from yours, his mouth still pursed and eyes closed like he doesn't believe you actually pushed him away. you reach for your phone, mumbling about how it could be an emergency, and when you show him that it's wooyoung, you think you've been vindicated. you answer and ask quickly, "is violet alright?"
"i'm not getting paid for you two to make out in your driveway," wooyoung replies, and your head falls back with a sigh.
"you're not getting paid at all, wooyoung."
"what?!"
"thanks man!" san shouts into your phone. "totally ruined the moment!"
"good!" wooyoung shouts back. "i'm bitter! and bored! come inside!"
"i'm gonna punch him," san tells you as you collect your things. he's out of the car before you and rushes to open your door.
"you are not," you roll your eyes. "just get him out of the house quickly, please."
"fine," san grumbles as you get your keys out to unlock the door. wooyoung is faster though, tearing the door open with a big smile on his face.
"welcome home lovebirds," he greets you with a sweep of your arms. you almost gasp when you see your house, because it's cleaner than you've maybe ever seen it. you look to wooyoung in shock, and he shrugs. "told you, i was bored. violet's been asleep for about two hours, so i needed something to do."
"you cleaned my house," you say in disbelief, peeking around corners and seeing things neatly put away, blankets folded, dishes washed and dried. you turn to wooyoung and say, "i think i might love you."
"whoa," san jumps in. "let's not say things we don't mean."
"whatever," you say, still looking around in surprise. "wooyoung i take back anything bad i ever said about you."
"you said bad stuff about me?" he pouts, and you remind him, "jen? not asking her out when you're both obviously into each other?"
"you think jen's into me?" wooyoung asks, and it's his turn to be shocked.
"he's never gonna leave now," san sighs as he comes up behind you and tucks his head onto your shoulder. "i've told you that before, man."
"yeah, but you're not a reliable source," wooyoung chides. he's about to say something else, but you cut him off.
"listen, i'd be happy to tell you how in love jen is with you, but maybe another time," you say, trying to use the mom eyes on wooyoung again to get him to leave. it seems to work, because he looks between you and san with a knowing look in his eyes.
"right, right, you two probably wanna get busy," he nods, and you feel san groan rather than hear it. "i'll leave you to it, violet was telling me how she wants a baby brother-"
"alright man, i'll see you later," san says as he detaches from you and pushes wooyoung toward the door. you watch them bicker a little before san shoves his friend outside and closes the door softly after. he leans against it and sighs, eyes reopening to find you watching him. "c'mere."
you saunter over to him, hands cupping his chin as you place a chaste kiss to his lips. you think if you step back and head for your room he'll follow you, but instead he grabs you by the hips and spins you around so you're pressed against the door. he makes sure there's no space between you, your chest pressed to his and his hips slotted over yours as he leans down for another kiss. he slowly trails his lips down your chin, across your neck, and stops right where your collarbone dips down slightly. he sucks a kiss into your skin, relishing in the way your breath catches as you try to stay quiet. he stays there, biting and kissing at your neck, and you reach up with a shaky hand to snake your fingers through his hair. you pull him off of you, a sounds close to a growl coming from deep within san's chest. you stare into his eyes, that flame still flickering from before.
"let's go to our room," you say breathlessly, and san nods. before you can stop him, he's scooping you up in his strong arms and carrying you to the bedroom, a squeal dying on your lips as he kisses you harder. he's able to kick the door closed before he tosses you down on the bed. you watch as he undoes his belt and tosses it to the ground, and you giggle.
"somebody's eager," you tease, and san groans.
"been waiting too long for this, damn right i'm eager," he mumbles as he crawls on top of you. he kisses you again, and this time it's messier, more teasing, and it takes you back to the first time you and san were in this position. you remember how he made you feel like your skin was on fire, and you feel that same way now. he breaks away from you and just stares, which starts to weird you out.
"earth to sannie?" you whisper. "what are you doing?"
"admiring you?" he smiles. "sorry, i got distracted."
"you got distracted staring at me?"
"yeah?"
"you're sickening," you tell him before kissing him again. this time, you wrap your legs around his hips and flip him over so you're straddling his lap. san has that same dopey look on his face from a second ago, so you decide to do something that will break this sappy haze he seems to be in. "so i was going to take my dress off, but i'm not wearing much underneath it..."
"baby," he whines, holding your hips and kind of kicking around like he's having a tantrum. "why didn't you tell me that sooner?"
"we never would've left," you answer, and he shuts up. you lean down to kiss him, and over his lips you tell him, "and if we hadn't gone on our perfect date, i wouldn't have told you i loved you," you kiss him, "and knowing you, if we had stayed home, this would've been faster," kiss, "more frantic," kiss, "and what's the fun in that? we took our time getting here. why don't we enjoy it?"
"exactly," san growls, using his hands on your hips to pull you closer to the tent in his pants. you gasp at the friction, so san moves your hips again, and again, as he says, "we've waited this long. i don't want to wait anymore, just wanna make love to you."
"oh you do?" you ask as your hands find the buttons on his shirt. you trail kisses across his jawline as you undo his shirt, sitting up to admire his broad chest as your hands slide under the fabric and push it away. san refuses to let go of you, so you leave his shirt hanging off his shoulders as you trace over every freckle, every line, every curve of his chest. your hands trail lower, reaching the waistband of his pants, and san grabs both of your hands in one of his to stop you.
"take your dress off," he says lowly, and you feel his words in the pit of your stomach.
"not fair," you pout, but he shakes his head.
"wanna see you," he says, already breathless. his hands find the hem of your dress, fingers tracing along your skin and sending goosebumps across your thighs. he helps you push the skirt of the dress up, and he lets out a hiss of breath when he sees your panties, almost the same shade of blue as the dress. you keep pulling the fabric up and over your body, and san moans softly when he sees you weren't wearing a bra. "baby, you're gonna be the death of me."
"told you there wasn't much underneath," you laugh as you pull his hands from their slow ascent up your legs. you bring them to your chest to cup your boobs, and san sighs at the soft feeling. you lean back down over him, replacing your mouth on his. you make out like that for a while, san getting lost in the feeling of having you this way again. he doesn't know how he went years without this. he curses himself for all the lost time, but he smirks into your mouth as he thinks of all the ways he can make up for it in the future. you feel the shift in his features, so you pull back and ask, "what are you thinkin about?"
"about how much i love you?" he tries, and you don't fall for it. he squeezes your chest as he admits, "thinkin about all the ways i wanna have you this weekend."
"have me?" you tease him, and he nods. "what's the first one?"
"want you to ride me."
"you sure? we made a baby like that the last time," you tell him as you unbutton his slacks anyway. you're both impatient, so you don't even try to get his pants off, just low enough for you to cup the bulge in his boxers before you pull those down too. his cock springs free, and you spit in your hand before wrapping your fist around it. you stroke him a few times, even though it's not necessary. san might be harder than he's ever been right now, but you can't help it. he's moaning beneath you so beautifully, you get lost in the sound until he moans out your name.
"y/n, please," he groans. "just sit on it, please. need to feel you, baby."
"what if i wasn't ready?" you ask, but you pull your panties to the side anyway.
"could feel you soaking my pants," san smirks. "can't be cocky when i know exactly how bad you want me, baby."
"shut up," you mumble, trying to focus on guiding his tip to your entrance. you feel his tip against you and you hiss, you forgot how big he was. you lower yourself on his cock, moaning softly as san holds onto your hips for dear life to keep from bucking up into you. he waits for you to settle in his lap, no space left between you, and then he lets out a deep breath.
"feels so good, y/n," he sighs. "like your pussy was made for me."
"i need a minute," you tell him, and he rubs soothing circles into your skin.
"take your time my love," he says. your eyes are screwed shut, genuinely not used to feeling this full, and san reaches a hand up to your face to soothe the tension away. his other hand travels to your core, swiping through the arousal dripping from you so he can drag his finger up to your clit. he draws lazy circles around it, tapping over the bundle so softly. if you weren't so desperate for his touch, maybe you wouldn't be jerking at each little movement, but it's helping you relax.
you feel ready to move, and you place your hands over san's stomach for leverage as you pull off of him, leaving just the tip in. san's going crazy, he's trying to hard to go at your pace, to let you take your time, but he's losing that battle fast. he watches as you bounce above him, cupping your chest and focusing on your nipples so he doesn't put all his attention on how bad he wants to fuck up into you, to make another baby with you. he wants to enjoy this, like you said, he wants to take it slow if that's what you want, but god, he wants so much more.
"how do you feel baby?" he asks, and you whimper in response. that alone could kill a weaker man, he thinks, but the way you're gripping around his cock, how warm you are, how beautiful you sound, he's not going to last long. you put the final nail in his coffin when you whine out, "you feel so good sannie, missed you, missed your cock..."
san can't take it anymore, he grabs onto your hips again and slams you down onto his cock. he holds you there for a second, letting you feel every inch of him as you squirm in his lap, and just when he thinks you're about to tap out he grinds into you. you didn't think he could get deeper, but you can feel him in your gut. he pulls you up and guides you back down, and he does this a few more times before you finally gasp out, "'m close, sannie, 'm gonna come-"
and that's all he needs to hear. he holds you in place above him, braces himself from below, and starts fucking up into you. he's been waiting for this, god he's waited for this, and he wants to ingrain everything into his memory. the way you look, the way you sound, the way you feel. it's overwhelming, and he can't help it, he starts to come, fucking his load into you as he tries to get you to your own high. he brings his hand back to your clit, and you're gasping above him, coming so hard you think you see stars. san lets you catch your breath above him, his cock still buried deep inside you. he's also afraid that if you move, all his come will leak out, and selfishly, he doesn't want that to happen. he felt his heart skip an excited beat at the idea of having another kid with you, so he's happy to sit and wait until you're ready to move.
"fuck," you whisper as you start to separate from him. "fuck, that felt really good."
"and to think, you deprived yourself of that for so many years," san says with a shit eating grin. you pinch his chest as you get up, but he takes you by surprise and pins you down before you can leave the bed. "where ya goin?"
"to shower?" you reply, and san smirks above you.
"who said i was done lovin you though?"
-
san wakes up the next morning and immediately puts his arms out to find you. he sighs happily as he pulls you into his chest, nuzzling his head into your hair. he takes a deep breath in, thinking not for the first time that he would be happy staying like this for years. he doesn't know how you expect him to leave once this weekend is over, condemned to come and go just to end up at his lonely apartment each night. he understands why you both decided on this set up, but he hates it. he'll just have to find a way to convince you that you'd be miserable without san here 24/7, and he thinks he's got a good idea to start.
you'd think the three rounds last night would be enough for any regular man, but not san. now that he's had you again he can't help himself. even holding you and feeling your warm breath hit his chest has him shifting to accommodate the growing problem beneath the sheets. he has no idea how he was able to wait years to fuck you, because he can't imagine waiting another second right now. he slowly rolls you back onto your pillow, hoping he won't wake you just yet. he makes sure you're comfortably laid back and then he pushes the sheets away, crawling down until his face is level with your bare stomach.
he leaves light kisses across your skin, starting above your bellybutton and trailing down. he sucks a couple hickeys on the skin of your hips, tracing his thumbs over the reddened marks in satisfaction. you begged him not to leave too many marks last night, but he looks up proudly and sees the result of your lost fight. there's only one or two spots on your neck, but your collarbone and your chest are a different story. san wants you to know you're his, finally his, so if he has to leave daily love bites on your skin to remind you, he will. happily.
he kisses one of the marks on your hips now, licking the skin just to taste you. he feels himself get excited at the thought of really tasting you, and he continues his descent down to your core. he thought about this as you were falling asleep last night, but he's never really seen your pussy. the few times you've had sex, there were just other things on his mind, so now that he can, san takes his time admiring you. he uses his thumbs to pull your lips apart, moaning softly at the sight of his come dripping out of you or dried on your skin. he leans in and places a kiss over your clit, and your legs jerk, but you stay otherwise still. that won't do, san thinks, so he delicately traces your entrance, collecting some of the wetness that's still pouring from you, and strokes your clit. he licks over it carefully, wanting to savor this moment.
his ears perk up as he hears you start to whimper, so he cups his lips around your bundle of nerves and sucks ever so slightly. his fingers trail back to your entrance, dipping in just so, and he sets a steady rhythm of playing with your clit and easing his fingers into your core. he's focused on his work, determined to make you feel good, but he wants more. he switches his fingers up to your clit, your wetness helping them glide over you easily. he kisses down your pussy until he gets to your entrance and dips his tongue in. you stir again, so san repeats his movements, determined to wake you up. he loses himself at the taste of you, and when he thinks about last night, how many times he came inside you, he moans into your core. he's getting impatient, his senses drowning in you. all he can feel is you, all he can taste is you, all he hears is you calling his name...wait-
"sannie, fuck," you gasp above him, your hands pulling at his hair to get him away from your sensitive core, but he holds strong. you try to use your thighs to squeeze his head and push him away, overwhelmed by the feeling of his lips on your pussy, but he reaches up and holds your legs apart so he can eat you like a man starved. now that you're awake, he doesn't have to keep quiet. he's drunk on your pussy, moaning and slurping obscenely, mumbling about how good you feel, how good you taste, how he wants to make you feel good. you can't help it, you start to come, gasping above him trying to take a deep breath. san feels you tighten around his tongue, but he keeps going. he keeps eating your pussy like he'll never get the chance again, and your sleepy haze mixed with the way he's making you feel has your vision spotty and your mind in a haze. he gets you to come again soon after, and you finally whine his name loud enough for him to look up at you, his mouth lazily teasing you as you exhale, "well. good morning."
"morning baby," he smiles, your arousal all over his chin. you whine, and he strokes your thighs comfortingly as he asks, "can you give me another one? still hungry."
"we have donuts."
"they're not as sweet as you," he insists, diving back in. you can't keep up with him, your senses so overloaded with san that you're begging for something but you don't know what. san works you up to another release before giving you a break, crawling up your body and trailing kisses the whole way. you try slapping his chest, but the movement is so weak it only makes him laugh. "what are you doing, love?"
"trying to hit you," you reply. "i'd kick you but i don't think my legs work."
"good, i did my job then," san says happily. he collapses on top of you, and you blush at the feeling of the mess between your legs. with san's chin on your chest, staring at you so content, you flick his nose and he bursts into laughter. "what was that for?!"
"for being perfect. and for turning me into a shell of a woman. i can't move, seriously."
"need me to help you into the shower, doll?"
"no," you shake your head. "i don't trust what you'd do in there."
"nothing out of the ordinary," he smirks, and you flick his nose again. he moves quick, biting your finger before you can move away, and you squeal. with your finger between his teeth he asks, "so? shower?"
"if you can carry me, then yeah," you give in. san pulls himself out of bed, easily lifting you from the bed as you raise your arms to wrap around his neck. he places you delicately on the bathroom counter, laughing with you as you squeal over the cold marble. he runs a bath for you, insisting that if your legs don't work you shouldn't be standing in the shower. he helps you into the warm water once it's ready, and you assume he's going to join you but instead he turns back to your room. "baaabyyy," you whine, and he's in the doorway immediately.
"what's wrong? was it too much? are you sore?" he asks in worry, but you shake your head and make grabby hands for him in response. he smiles as he comes closer, holding your hands in his as he asks, "are you always this needy after sex?"
"yep," you reply. "get used to it. and get in the tub with me."
"can't," san sighs, dipping down to give you a kiss anyway. "i'm getting dressed and then checking on our daughter."
"she's probably still asleep," you say as you lay your head on the cool porcelain edge of the tub.
"then i won't be gone long," san tells you before ducking back out of the bathroom. you keep your head on the tub though, admiring him from afar. you love having him here, you think. you wonder if he'd be ok with staying longer than just a weekend.
-
while san took care of violet, you got an idea. you enjoyed the rest of your bath, but as soon as you were dressed you got down to business.
you were buried amongst boxes, piles of clothes, and shoes you'd never wear when san and violet come looking for you. you hear violet run into your bedroom calling for you with san right behind her, not sure if you were decent or not. when they don't see you in the bedroom, san peeks into the bathroom as vi goes for your closet, and she giggles when she sees you on the floor.
"mommy, what are you doing?" she asks, kneeling down in the mess anyway.
"i'm cleaning out my closet, bug," you answer. you push a box toward her and say, "call for your dad, i want him to look through those."
"i'm right here," san appears, popping his head through the door. he looks at you quizzically, then decides to go with it and kneel next to violet.
"i'm cleaning out my closet," you repeat. "i want you to go through that box next to vi, that's all of her work from preschool. you can keep any of it that you want."
"really?"
"yeah, we've got plenty of it around the house, and i've basically made wallpaper out of it for my office, so i figured you might like some," you shrug.
"thank you baby," he smiles, dimples on full display. you watch fondly as he settles on the ground, violet climbing into his lap almost as a reflex. they sit together and go through everything, violet giving commentary on what she remembers and calling on you to explain what she doesn't. you're constantly in motion, trying to organize your clothes and make piles of what you can donate. you turn to your family every so often for opinions, violet giving it to you straight when she thinks something is ugly, and san being no help at all. he just says you'll look great in whatever you're holding up, and borders on compliments too vulgar for your daughter to hear. it's a good thing violet knows how to speak her mind, because with her brutal honesty and a good idea of what clothes will drive san insane, you're left with the perfect amount of clothes.
you won't take any outside input on which shoes to donate, though. that's a personal decision for you, and san is smart enough to stay out of it. violet, on the other hand, picks up her favorite shoes and tries them on, laughing with glee when she trips and san has to dive to catch her. she asks if she can keep some of the shoes for herself, but knowing how expensive they are, you try to find nice ways to tell her to back off. san promises to buy her "mommy shoes" and that seems to satisfy her, but now she's bored and wants to go play. you shoot san a sympathetic glance as he's pulled out of the closet by your hyperactive kid, and then you're alone. you step back and look at the space you were able to clear, and you think that should be enough for san's things. you can always use the hall closet if he needs more space, but he's a man, how many clothes does he need?
"hey," he whispers from behind you, making you jump. you would turn around to talk to him, but he wraps his arms around you and sways your bodies from side to side as he informs you, "i got her set up with a movie. i love that girl, but i needed a break."
"thank you for giving me the morning to myself," you tell him, leaning your head back on his shoulder. you turn to place a kiss on his jaw, whispering against his skin, "you're so wonderful to me. and to violet. we're very lucky ladies."
"and i'm a lucky man," he responds. his eyes fall to the pile of violet's work on the floor, and he separates from you to pick it up. he shows you the stack and says, "got enough for my apartment and my office. there's not much left in the box, though."
"that's fine," you brush it off. "i needed the space in here, so."
"hey, did you eat this morning?" san asks while he tucks violet's work into his duffel bag. when he stands up fully he points an accusing finger at you. "i wore you out twice and you haven't eaten, that's not good for your health."
"you're not good for my health," you scoff. "last time i was this sore was after labor."
"sorry," san says sheepishly. he reaches for your hand and tugs you toward the door. "come on, let's get you some food and then hang with violet. i put on one of your favorites."
-
the rest of the weekend passes by in complete bliss. it's like that night with san bridged any gaps that timing and poor decisions might have created between you, and you've never felt more in love or more like a family than you do right now. but there's a pit in your stomach as you sit with san and violet at the dinner table, knowing that san needs to go back to his apartment tonight. he didn't pack any work clothes, so he really needs to leave, but he so doesn't want to. he wonders how many more weeks he can get by with going to his place just long enough for you to miss him and call him back home. meanwhile, you're wondering how you can inconspicuously get jen and wooyoung to help move san's things to your house on such short notice. san checks the time, and you feel the pit in your stomach tear open as he stands to leave.
"alright girls," he sighs, putting his dishes in the sink. "i guess i gotta go. need to get ready for the week."
"i'll miss you daddy," violet pouts, and san mimics her with a pout of his own.
"i'll miss you even more bug, you have no idea."
you stand and clear your own plate as violet sadly pushes her peas around with her fork, and you catch san staring at her from the doorway. "what's wrong, san?"
"i don't wanna go," he admits. his voice is so quiet you can barely hear him, but he can't say it any louder. it hurts leaving you two, and san isn't sure how many more trips he can take before his heart just kicks it.
"then don't go," you shrug. "move in with us."
"are you serious?" san asks, a smile slowly breaking across his face. he takes two steps and he's in front of you, hands on your waist, asking you again, "are you serious?"
"yeah," you nod. "violet? what do you say? should daddy stay here forever?"
"and ever?!" she adds, making san laugh, a happy squeaky sound that sends your heart soaring.
"i'll stay forever and ever and then some," he agrees. he pulls you into the tightest hug known to man, spinning you around the kitchen as he whispers to you, "this is finally happening."
"it took us long enough, right?" you whisper back, gripping onto his shirt. you squeal as san pushes you off balance, and you realize he's trying to move you toward the kitchen table. he lets go of you long enough to lift violet into his arms and smush her between you both, and then the spinning continues.
"my girls," he smiles proudly. "i love my girls."
-
that monday at work, san feels like superman. he woke up with your head on his chest, he ate breakfast with his girls, and he had a sing along in the car with violet as he drove her to school. he put works of violet art up in his office (and a couple on the gym bulletin board, she was very embarrassed), and he walked violet to her classroom before carpool started so he could tell jen the good news.
"hey violet!" jen greets her, and violet runs up to give her a hug. "how was your weekend?"
"good!" violet replies. "daddy spent the night, and then mommy told me he was staying forever and ever, and then this morning i saw mommy and daddy naked wrestling-"
"she saw you what?" jen hisses, and san has to look embarrassed.
"um, yeah, i wanted to celebrate my first morning moved in, so...we forgot to lock the door, and...yeah. it's been a long morning at the choi household," san explains, and jen pushes his arm surprisingly hard.
"so you moved in?!"
"kind of?" san rubs the spot jen basically punched. "y/n asked me to move in last night, so we filled our cars with some of my stuff and brought it to the house. i'll really move in this weekend."
"well, if you need me and wooyoung to help, you know where to find us," jen offers.
"you and wooyoung?" san wiggles his eyebrows, and jen nods eagerly.
"yep, we're an item now. you and y/n aren't the only ones who did some naked wrestling this weekend."
"please don't say that," san groans, and thankfully, the bell rings to alert teachers to their stations. san stoops down to kiss violet's forehead as he says goodbye, and he rushes off to his carpool spot. he hears jen say as he leaves, "violet, you need to knock before you go into mommy and daddy's room..."
-
you have to admit, living with san is bliss. you didn't know how easy it could be having someone else around to take care of violet, and you especially didn't know how nice it would be to have someone around to take care of you. san was quick to show his love with actions and words, and all he asked for in return was your time. if he had his way, he'd spend every second of every day with you and violet. it hurts to watch you leave for work in the mornings, and it hurts him again when he parts from violet at school. at home, he's always attached to one of you. some nights he's lucky, and he gets you both.
tonight, san stopped by the store for you on the way home because you needed some last minute things for dinner. san got what you needed, plus some wine he knew you'd like, and he got violet her favorite ice cream without her even asking. he had everything ready for you when you got home, and since violet helped get the ingredients she wanted to help cook, too. san always stays in the kitchen with you as you fix dinner, because he likes to clean up after you as you go. he claims it's efficient, but it's also a chance for you to catch up on your days. you're happy to have violet with you tonight, but it did ruin one of your mom secrets.
"what can i help with, mommy?" she asks once she's set up next to you, standing on her tippy toes on top of her step stool.
"you can help me tear the spinach to go into the spaghetti," you show her how to do it, and she copies your actions with a frown on her face.
"what's wrong bug?" san asks, given up on the dishes. he just wants to watch you and violet work together.
"where's the 'pinach going?"
"into the sauce, baby," you answer her. "i always put it into the sauce, it's yummy."
"do i like 'pinach?"
"you like it in spaghetti."
eating dinner together is one of san's favorite things, too. he loves the conversations that come out of violet, and he feels so privileged to see her personality growing and maturing before his eyes. she's an incredible kid, and san reminds you constantly that you did a phenomenal job raising her. you insist that his genes made her an angel to begin with, and that makes san blushy and shy enough to change the subject. he starts to ask you about a work thing, so there's no attention on violet for a moment. she starts giggling though, and when you turn back to her you see that she's slurped noodles so quickly that there's sauce all over her face. it reminds you of a similar mess when she was a baby, so you show san pictures and videos of baby vi that have his stomach doing flips. he asks you to send him those, and you do as he says while he and violet start to clear your plates.
you move into the living room to get ready for one of your favorite shows. it's coming back after a hiatus, so you made it clear this morning you didn't care what san and violet did as long as you got to watch. what you didn't expect was for san to come in from the kitchen with violet in his arms, dumping her down on top of you in a giggly pile. san leaves to grab your favorite blanket and takes his time tucking it around you and vi before he slides in next to you, intertwining his legs with yours and pulling you so your head will lay on his chest. he wraps his arms around you and violet, and sighs happily when he's all done.
"whatcha doin?" you turn your head to his as he flips through the channels, looking for your show.
"we're watching this show together?" he says like it's obvious. "violet told me there's cool stunts."
"and the old guy is funny!" she adds.
"see? cool stunts and a comedic grandpa, i'm sold," san says, kissing the top of your head as the show starts.
"ok, but no talking until the commercial breaks," you mumble, pulling san's arm further around your shoulders so you can hold his hand over your chest.
"is that the old guy?" san asks a minute later.
"baby," you whine. "i said no talking!"
"i have to go potty," violet says a few minutes after that, climbing over the pile of her parents. san watches her go then turns to you, calling your name.
"sannie, please, it's almost a commercial-"
"i want another one," he whispers excitedly, and you look confused for a second before it clicks.
"another kid?" you confirm, and he nods eagerly. "right now? i don't think we have time-"
"no baby," he chuckles. "just. whenever. but sooner rather than later, please. i want at least three, so-"
"three?!" you shriek. "that's a lot of kids for me to push out of my-"
"daddy, can i have some ice cream?" violet asks as she returns from the bathroom.
"of course baby," he responds, sliding his limbs from under and around you slowly. he comes back with violet quickly, and she plops down next to you with san on her other side. they eat in silence, which you're thankful for since your show is back on, but san calls your name and you stifle a groan. you look up to find him holding a spoonful of ice cream out for you, and you let him feed it to you with a soft look in his eyes. he wipes a dribble from the side of your mouth, presenting his finger to you. he tells you with his eyes to taste that next, and as you stare up at him and suck on his finger, you feel your skin erupt in goosebumps. you let go of his finger with a pop and then basically hide under the blanket until the show is over.
as the credits roll, you look to san and see violet curled up in his side, the empty ice cream tub long forgotten. san's carefully stroking violet's back, and when he catches you staring he reaches a hand out for you. you grab it, bringing his knuckles to your lips so you can kiss each one before speaking. against his skin, you whisper, "i'm ready to have another kid with you. but let's start with one, ok?"
-
agreeing to have another kid with san might have been a bad idea. if you thought he was all over you before, now he really can’t keep his hands off you. it's a sisyphean task getting him out of bed in the morning. he grabs onto whenever you pass each other in the house, stealing kisses that he hopes will lead to more. he's rushing through bedtimes with violet so you can have more "mommy daddy time" in violet's words. it's so bad even your kid has noticed! but....you're not complaining. you pretend to hate it, you pretend to resist just to give in later, but really you're eating this up. a match made in heaven, you two!
after a particularly active morning, you decided to work from home for the day. you were feeling under the weather anyway, so it was nice having the option. especially on days like today when san forgets his lunch. he called you about an hour into his day in a panic, already whining that he was going to starve to death. you roll your eyes but listen intently before offering to bring it to him. halfway through the call you found his lunchbox looking lonely in the fridge, so you were happy to spend your lunch break doing something for san. before you head out, you tear off a paper towel and write him a little note like you do when you pack violet's lunch, and then you're out the door.
san said he would be in his office, so you park in the teacher lot and make the short walk to the gym. it's its own building behind the school, so it's quiet as you make your way to san. your footsteps echo on the wooden floor, and an eager san slides out of his office in his desk chair. like an excited puppy, he jogs to meet you halfway and wraps you in a hug, peppering kisses over your face along with whispered thanks.
"what would i do without you, baby?" he asks.
"starve, apparently," you tease, pinching his cheek. "so i guess i'll see you at home?"
"eat lunch with me," he begs, not giving you a chance to answer. he takes the lunchbox in one hand and wraps his other around your waist, leading you to his office. he sits in the rolling chair and walks it back over to his desk while you stand at the door. "you waitin for an invite, doll? get in here."
"where do i sit?" you ask, semi-distracted by the way san has decorated his office. your heart warms seeing so much of violet's work in here, and you blush as you notice the pictures san has printed of you and violet to tack up along with her art. san hasn't replied, so you turn to find him patting his lap with a wiggle of his eyebrows, and you just laugh at him. "i'll stand."
"at least stand closer to me," he whines. "so far away over there."
you sigh, but walk to his desk anyway. you hop up so you're sitting on the one space free of junk, but that puts you directly in front of san. he opens your legs slightly, and you feel your heart rate spike, but he just scoots closer and starts unpacking his lunch. you watch as he focuses on tearing his sandwich equally, his tongue caught between his teeth as he works. you take this time to snatch his chips, feeding one or two to san as he searches for a napkin to wrap your sandwich in. he finds the note you stuffed in there and smiles, a blush creeping over his cheeks as his dimples appear.
"what's this?" he asks in a squeaky voice.
"reminder of how much i love you," you shrug.
"i love you too," san says happily as he straightens the napkin. "thanks for bringing my lunch."
"you said that already."
"well let me thank you another way?" he asks, his hands drifting to your knees and sliding up your thighs. you try to close your legs, pushing him off, but his grip is stronger than yours.
"san, there's kids here."
"so? we're trying to make one-"
"sannie!" you hiss. "no! not at school."
"but no one's gonna be anywhere near the gym for another thirty minutes!"
"what about wooyoung? or jen? don't they come check on you when you don't eat lunch in the teacher's lounge?"
"they can deal," san says, leaning down to trail kisses up your leg. as much as you want to, and god you want to, you can't. not here. so you use your foot to catch the rolling chair and push san back. he thuds into his bulletin board with an "oof!" and you laugh as you hop down. "what are you doing? come back here-"
"ah, i'll see you at home," you tell him. you're almost to the door when he catches up with you, holding onto your waist like his life depends on it.
"just one kiss before you go," he whispers, and you feel yourself nodding before you can say no. he captures your lips in a fierce kiss, moaning as he slides his hands around to grip your ass, but you grab his hands and pull them off of you. you give him one last kiss and then you step back, pointing a finger at him as you say, "you are trouble, mr. choi."
"and you're sexy, mrs. choi," he smirks, watching you leave.
"not your missus!" you shout back, turning to catch him still watching you walk away. he waves teasingly, blowing a kiss that you catch and place over your heart. "i'll see you at home, you crazy man."
-
san tried using the rest of his lunch to plan, but you were right - jen and wooyoung came to find him before lunch ended, so it's really a good thing you didn't take up his offer to fuck in his office. wooyoung makes himself at home, playing with some of the loose equipment as jen asks why san didn't show for lunch.
"i forgot my lunch, so y/n had to bring it to me," he explains, and wooyoung gasps.
"you had sex in here!" he shouts, pointing an accusing finger at san.
"no, we didn't," san sighs. "but i wanted to."
"y/n said no?" jen asks, and san nods. "of course she was the voice of reason."
"what do you both want?" san asks. "shouldn't you be with your classes right now?"
"there's an assembly after lunch, so they're the vp's responsibility," wooyoung smiles evilly. "so you didn't even get some head while y/n was here?"
"wooyoung!" jen shrieks, and he shuts up. "sorry he's disgusting."
"i'm more sorry for you, you're dating the guy," san teases, and jen blushes. "so you both came here to bother me? no other reason?"
"i suspected you had a visit from the milf, so i came to get the low down on that," wooyoung replies.
"and if y/n was here i wanted to talk to her," jen says. "i need to have one conversation with someone sane today."
"you're talking to me!" san says, and jen laughs. "ouch."
"whatever man," wooyoung says as he walks toward the door. "if you're gonna lie and say nothing happened here, then i'm outie 5000."
"actually, i do want to tell you something," san starts nervously. "it's nothing saucy, but i think i need your help. both of you."
"anything," jen says, and wooyoung nods in agreement.
"great," san smiles. "well, uh, i think i'm going to propose to y/n..."
-
there's a daddy daughter dance at the end of the week. san, of course, will be taking violet. that means you need to go shopping! violet needs a new dress, and san has to buy a shirt that matches. violet chose a light purple, her favorite, and insisted on you getting something that color, too. since you were just spending the night at home, you tried to buy a light purple pajama set, but san vetoed it. he made you pick out a dress of your own despite you saying you won't wear it but for five minutes.
"but now we have a family outfit," san smiles. "we can wear it all the time."
"violet, your dad is embarrassing," you say to your daughter, and she nods.
"whatever," he sighs, taking the clothes from you and violet anyway. "i'm just excited to do family stuff with you."
"is family stuff like mommy daddy stuff?" violet asks, and you let san handle that one. you've stopped at the jewelry section, wondering if you can find a necklace for violet to wear. you play with the charm around your neck now, the heart necklace violet gave you. as you're spinning the display around, you hear two sets of footsteps come up behind you.
"whatcha doin mommy?" violet asks, tugging on your hand. you pick her up and point to one of the necklaces, answering, "trying to find something that matches your new dress. do you like this?"
"ooo, yes," she nods at the flower charm you're showing her. "can daddy have one too?"
"not sure that's my style, bug," san squints at the necklace.
"and it's a kid size, it wouldn't fit around your beefy neck," you point out. you look around and your eyes light up as they fall on what you're looking for. you grab violet's necklace and head to a display of rings, holding the necklace up to find something that goes with it. "daddy can wear a ring to match with you at the dance. how's that sound vi?"
you get an enthusiastic yes from her, so the three of you look quietly for a moment. san holds something up and asks what you think, but you shake your head.
"that's too dainty for you," you say.
"for you," san corrects. "do you like it for you?"
"hmm," you inspect the ring, and shake your head. "no, i think i prefer gold jewelry."
"what about this?" san holds up another ring, and you like this one. it's a simple gold band with a purple gem set on a raised back, but you nod and offer san your left hand since violet is currently occupying your other arm. san slides the ring onto your ring finger, but it won't get past your knuckle. san tries his best, but it won't budge, and you can't help but laugh. "hmph. you have chubby fingers."
"hey!" you whine, "that's what having a kid does to you. parts of your body are never the same again."
"really?" san asks. "i never knew that."
"yeah, there's a lot of weird stuff that happens with pregnancy," you shrug. "but i got used to it."
"you'll have to tell me everything soon," san says, cupping your head to pull you in for a forehead kiss. he's distracted now, thinking about something else, and starts to turn back in the direction of the registers when violet reminds him, "daddy! the rings!"
"oh right, thanks bug," he winks at her, and you kiss violet's cheek in thanks. san finds a bigger size and tries it for good measure. it's a perfect fit.
"do you still want a ring?" you ask san, and he searches for a moment before holding one out to you.
"what about this?" he passes it to you, and you cock your head in confusion. "what? you don't like it?"
"hm, i like it," you tell him. "it goes with mine."
"even better," san smiles.
-
the night of the dance can't get here soon enough. violet has been bouncing off the walls excited for it all week, and you know san is looking forward to it too. he told you that he gets stuck overseeing the dance every year because it's in the gym, and he admitted this was the kind of thing he dreamt of taking his own kid to some day. he seems a little nervous though, which you think is sweet.
because he had to plan the dance, the week leading up to it is a busy one at your house. san is constantly stepping outside to take calls, and he's running off to errands throughout the week to make sure everything is perfect. he's taken over the coat closet, claiming there's things in there violet can't see, but he won't let you look in there, either. one afternoon, he catches you peeking and turns a bright red.
"what are you doing!" he squeaks. "you can't see this!"
"why not?" you laugh. "i'm not going to the dance."
"yeah, but if you see it, and then violet asks what you saw, you'll tell her-"
"i'm not a snitch," you scoff.
"well you're usually on her side," san rolls his eyes.
"hey, i'm on your side all the time, babe," you assure him. "but girls gotta stick together, so i guess you have a point."
"exactly," san sighs, checking that the closet is closed before pulling you in for a hug. he inhales deeply and lets out a breath of relief once you're wrapped around him, and you rub his back soothingly.
"you're doing a great job, my love," you tell him. "it's gonna be a great night, everyone will have so much fun, and it'll be all thanks to you."
"i hope you're right," san says, and he hopes you don't catch the quiver of nerves in his voice. he also hopes you can't feel the box of the engagement ring poking out of his pocket. you caught him before he could slip it into the closet, and he's starting to sweat having you so close to it. even though he doesn't want to, he slowly lets you go, stroking your hair as he gets an idea, "hey, can i ask you to do something for me?"
"anything."
"anything?" he smirks, and you smack his arm. "no, i was wondering if you could make pancakes for dinner?"
"really? that's it?" you ask, but he nods like he's completely serious.
"i hear you're better at them now," he teases. "but, i don't know, i've just been so stressed this week, and that's like a comfort meal for me-"
"oh sannie, yes, yes i'll make you pancakes," you promise. "you want chocolate chips?"
"i love you," he says as he nods vehemently. you giggle as you stand on your toes to kiss his cheek.
"dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes then," you tell him. "unless i burn the house down, then we're just going to waffle house."
-
it's the night of the dance. to anyone walking by, it might sound like your house is having a party, but it's just you blaring music while everyone gets ready. you're already in your dress, so you're helping violet while san showers. he was so jumpy when he got home, you're really worried about him. this dance must have been a lot of work for him, so you're glad he'll get to rest when it's done. once san and violet leave, you've got a riveting night of laundry ahead of you so san can come home to a clean, comfy bed to collapse in. you know he'll need it after the week he's had.
you're mentally trying to organize the loads of laundry you have to do while you work on violet's hair. she's digging through your make up bag because you promised she could use eye shadow and lip gloss tonight, and you're both humming along to the music. you don't hear her stop and say something to you, and you certainly don't hear whoever is knocking at the door. violet twists around to look at you, ruining the heart shape you were trying to pull her hair into.
"aw, vi, now i have to start over-"
"mommy, someone's knocking on the door," she cuts you off. you reach for your phone to turn the music down, and she's right, there's someone frantically knocking at the front door. you walk out warily, unsure of who it could be, but you spot a flash of jen's hair through the window. when you open the door, she looks relieved.
"good, you're dressed," she breathes out. upon further inspection, she frowns and says, "but you haven't done your hair? no make up? y/n we're gonna be late."
"what?" you're confused. late for what?
"san didn't tell you? we need you to chaperone the dance," jen explains as she steps inside. that's when you notice she's dressed up too. "one of the fifth grade teachers was supposed to help me with the photo booth, but she's puking everywhere-"
"ew, gross," you stop her. "i mean, san didn't tell me anything, but i guess i can help? i'm not doing anything tonight." looks like you needed this dress after all!
"great," jen smiles. "now about your hair..."
seconds later, violet is standing in front of you while you sit on a kitchen chair as jen works on your hair for you. you're still trying to finish violet's, and then you need to help her with the make up she picked out. you could care less how you look, you'd rather violet get the pampering she wants, but jen is insisting that you "at least need to look put together tonight."
"hey, is san still here?" you ask suddenly. "i don't hear the shower anymore, but he's being awfully quiet if he's home."
"his car wasn't here when i pulled up," jen shrugs. "ok, hair's done! now where's your make up?"
"in violet's room," you reply. she goes to grab it, and when she returns you're done with violet's hair. "how's our girl look?"
"just as beautiful as her momma," jen replies, and she laughs when you and violet blush the same way.
"careful, i'm a taken woman," you warn.
"i could totally take san in a fight for your hand."
"wooyoung would be pretty upset though," you remind her, and now it's her turn to blush. "is he gonna be there tonight?"
"yeah, he's helping san with some of the set up i think."
"so what time do we need to get there?" you ask as you work on vi's make up. "keep your eyes closed, baby."
"ok mommy."
"um, we might need to leave soon," jen barely answers your question.
"that's vague."
"we should leave in fifteen minutes."
"shit, ok," you mumble, then you catch yourself. "jen, can you find my purse? put a quarter in the jar on the counter please."
"two," violet corrects you. "you said the fuck word when the elastic in my hair snapped."
"violet!" you and jen screech.
"now you need to put a quarter in the swear jar," jen jokes, but you have to lecture violet on not using those words while you finish up her eye shadow. you ask her to purse her lips so you can do the lip gloss, and jen says, "she really looks like san, doesn't she?"
"yeah, she does," you smile proudly. "they're both pretty cute, huh?"
"if you have another kid do you think it'll look like you?"
"we'll have to wait and see i guess," you say as you cap the lip gloss. "vi, go like this," and you show her how to rub the lip gloss in. she gets it all over her lips, so you lick your thumb to wipe it off as she tries to squirm away. "alright, my turn. can you show jen where your shoes are baby? i'll finish getting ready if you can help her with shoes and maybe a jacket."
"on it," jen nods. "we gotta leave in ten!"
as promised, ten minutes later, you and violet are in jen's car. you wanted the fun to continue for violet, so you've got music playing as jen speeds toward the school. she kept saying you weren't late, but the way she's driving you wonder if she's lying.
a few minutes later, you can see the school in the distance. you don't know why, but your stomach starts doing flips at the idea of seeing san. you know he's going to look great, so that's enough to make you all excited, but you're more interested in seeing what he's worked so hard on all week. you're staring at the gym as it gets closer, and then jen drives right past the school entirely.
"um, hello?" you call out. "earth to jen? we just passed the school."
"we're not going to the school," jen says simply. what's going on? you look to violet in the backseat, but she's staring out the window, kicking her feet the way you know she does when she's excited. you sit back with a "humph!" and watch as jen drives you to the park down the street. she pulls into the gravel lot and turns off her car before turning to you. "get out."
"what? jen, what is going on?" you ask, but jen is out of the car and won't respond. you're confused as hell, but you unbuckle your seatbelt anyway as jen gets violet out of her car seat. jen meets you at the back of her car, pointing off to the path in the distance.
"you need to go over there."
"i'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's happening," you stand firm.
"come on mommy!" violet chirps. she holds her tiny hand out to you, and you look to jen. she just smiles, so you take violet's hand and walk with her to the wooded path.
"baby, where are we going?" you ask, but violet shakes her head and mimes zipping her lips. can't argue with that, so you succumb to the circumstances and follow her lead. you're looking around, trying to catch any kind of clue. as you come over a hill, you see a clearing in the distance, and you gasp when you see what's waiting for you.
underneath an ivy covered arch stands san. he's dressed in his outfit for the dance, dark grey slacks and a vest with the light purple shirt underneath. he left his hair natural, how you like it, so the ends of his bangs just barely brush over his glittering eyes. he's smiling at you so brightly he could be the sun, and you look down to find violet smiling back at him the same way.
as you get closer, you notice the flower bushes are all violets. san must have brought more though, because there's flower pots and bouquets all around. you close your eyes and take a deep breath, admiring the soft scent flooding your senses. when you open your eyes, san is approaching you shyly, and violet squeezes your hand. you squeeze back even tighter.
"hi gorgeous," he greets you, his voice soft and quiet, like he doesn't want to disturb this moment. he leans in to kiss your cheek, then kneels and says to violet, "you look beautiful, my love. thank you for your help."
"you knew about this?" you ask violet, and she looks to san before she responds.
"YES! daddy told me all these secrets and said mommy can't know, and if i pinky promised not to tell then he would get me the princess bed i want," she explains rapidly, and you look to a sheepish san.
"i'm not proud of the bribe, but she did a good job. you had no idea?"
"san, what is this?" you ask in a nervous whisper. he lifts violet into his arms and then offers you a hand. as he walks you over to a bench beneath the ivy arch, he begins.
"this was my favorite park as a kid," he says as he sits you down and carefully places violet between you. he holds onto your hand as he speaks, his thumb stroking over your knuckles softly. "and when i moved back here after college, this was the first place i came. i missed you so much already, and i needed someplace to clear my head. i found myself here a lot, actually. i would walk the entire path just thinking about you, wondering how you were, wondering if i should reach out, try to make things right. it became a habit. i'd come here every time i missed you, and i wouldn't leave until i got you off my mind. then, out of nowhere, you show up at school. i noticed you, that first day. i noticed violet," and as he says her name he boops her nose. over her giggles, he continues.
"i saw her walking in and thought, man, that kid sure looks like me," san smiles sadly, and you squeeze his hand. "so as soon as school ended, i was over here, pacing and wondering again how i could reach out. then i caught you parking in the wrong spot-"
"i didn't know where else to go!" you defend yourself, and san chuckles.
"you not knowing where to go worked in my favor, because it was like someone shouting in my face, hey! here she is! don't lose this chance! so i knew i had to wiggle my way back into your life somehow. it wasn't until you mentioned violet, her name, that i felt something inside me. again, i came back here, to this spot, and thought about what to do. as i sat here, i noticed all the violets around me, and i knew. i've always thought we were meant to be together, but that day i knew for sure. i wanted to be in your life. in violet's life. forever."
"and ever," violet whispers, making you and san both laugh. as you quiet down, you stare at san, and that warm feeling you get in his presence rushes over you. finally, you think. finally finally finally.
it's like san can read your mind, because he nods before tugging you back up to your feet. violet holds onto your hand as you both watch san reach into his pocket, and even though you knew it was coming, it still takes your breath away. san kneels, holding out a velvet box. he takes a deep breath and says, "y/n. my love. my best friend. you're the love of my life, and i can't imagine our story ending any other way. will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? will you marry me, finally?" he opens the box to reveal the perfect ring, and you're nodding before you can even speak.
you look at san's glistening eyes, his happy smile, and you cry out, "yes, san, oh my god, yes, i'll marry you." san pulls you down to smash his lips into yours, but you can barely keep the smile off your face long enough to actually feel his lips against yours. you end up kneeling in front of san, wrapping him in the tightest hug as you start to cry. you feel violet's tiny arms working their way around you both, so you separate and cover her in kisses to her delighted giggles. you hug them both, holding onto your family so tight it almost hurts.
"wait, wait!" san cries out. "the ring! gimme your hand!"
you present your left hand to him as he takes the ring out, and you love the way it glitters in the setting sunlight. he slides it onto your ring finger, interlocking his hand with yours. as you admire your hand in his, you hear cheers off in the distance.
you look around to find jen and wooyoung just outside the clearing. wooyoung is holding a camera, and jen is smiling like she just pulled off the heist of the century. as they get closer, violet runs over to jen and they jump and squeal, something about secrets and another bribe you'll have to learn about later.
"so everyone knew about this but me?" you ask san, and he brushes hair behind your ear as jen and wooyoung join you.
"sorry, but that's the way it had to be," san shrugs.
"you were so surprised," wooyoung says, "i can't wait to edit these pictures, i think i got a really funny one of you when he pulled the ring out."
"i'll make sure he only keeps the good ones," jen cuts in, but you shake your head.
"you send me every single picture you took," you say sternly, and wooyoung salutes you as he says, "aye aye mrs. choi!"
"oh my god," you turn to san then. "i'm gonna be your wife."
"yeah you are," he smiles proudly. "'bout time."
"oh, what time is it?" you ask. "don't we need to go to the dance?"
"baby, there is no dance," san admits. "i made that up so you wouldn't be suspicious of all the calls and errands without you."
"you sneak," you slap his arm. "and involving our daughter!"
"we got you," violet giggles, looking up at you as she wraps her hands around your legs. you pinch her nose and she squeals.
"well, what do we do now?" you ask. "i don't know what engaged people do."
"i've got an idea," wooyoung says suggestively, and jen groans.
"actually, i was going to take us to dinner," san says, reaching for you and violet. "we need to celebrate!"
"that's our cue to leave," jen says to wooyoung, but san stops them.
"nope," he shakes his head. "you helped. i owe you dinner."
"well if you insist," wooyoung smiles, wrapping his arm around jen. you all start walking back to your cars, jen and wooyoung ahead of your family. you and san are walking with violet between you, hands swinging happily.
"hey," san whispers, and you find his handsome face smiling at you. "are you happy?"
"happier than i've ever been, san."
"good," he nods. "sorry for all the secrets, though."
"whatever," you brush it off. "but, uh, i guess i have a secret of my own to share?"
san stops in his tracks, worry in his eyes. jen and wooyoung stop too, hearing the lack of footsteps behind them. everyone is watching you, and you look at each of them with a growing smile on your face. you end with san, and you blush as you say, "my love, my husband to be, i'm pregnant."
521 notes · View notes
strawberrysohn · 1 year
Text
on the low — choi san. 
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the prologue
pairing: fboy!choi san x inexperienced good girl reader
genre: smut, fluff, angst, (lowkey) coming of age [nothing really like any of that for this part tho]
warnings for this part: slight fluff, playful banter, slightly cocky san, one (1) kiss, swearing, flirting that goes nowhere, very much plot, rather boring tbh :/
part summary: it's the night before your first day of university and you get a ride home from one of your friends. wary of going into college without any romantic experience, you decide to ask your friend for some help.
word count: 2919 (because it's just the prologue lol)
for the longest time it was just the two of you. you, a girl trying to break free from the "girl next door" cliché you fit almost perfectly, someone who lived with her overprotective father and very critical mother and felt happiest away from home. and wooyoung, a bubbly, talkative boy at your school who became your lab partner for chemistry in sophomore year. you two clicked rather easily, and he got a kick out of the fact that he was your first friend that was a boy. who would have thought that in three years, you'd be friends with him and his seven other friends that were also boys?
you met yeosang and hongjoong next. coincidentally, they were in book club with you but you just never talked to them. then there were yunho, jongho, and mingi, who didn't go to the same school, but instead the next one over. then there was seonghwa, who you instantly got along with, seeing as he lived in a similar situation as you.
finally, you met him. wooyoung's closest friend, choi san, who was the perfect example of people you had been taught to avoid.
much to your family's dismay, you got along really well with san. even though he was nothing but nice to you, they knew that he was bad news. and so did you, but you didn't care. it's not like you were one of the girls lining up to be the next one he sleeps with. you were just the girl friend. that is...friend that's a girl.
so, there the nine of you were sat cautiously on the top of yunho's mom's minivan, staring at the night sky.
"isn't it crazy that in a few minutes, it'll technically be the first day of our freshman year at university?" wooyoung speaks, staring wistfully at the sky above.
"yeah, and we should be sleeping," hongjoong retorts. "do any of you have any idea how much we're going to have to do tomorrow?"
mingi chuckles and rolls his eyes playfully. "whatever, i'm just glad we all ended up at the same place," he says, shooting a small smile to yunho. "and that yunho's mom willingly gave us the van."
"it was not willingly," yunho says. "she only let us use it because san was showing up separately."
san dangles his feet off the side of the van. "do any of your parents like me?" he asks with a small laugh in his tone.
"i don't know," you say to him with a shrug. "my dad might be warming up to you now that he knows you're a car guy."
"i'm not a 'car guy', i have a car," san tosses his empty chip bag down to the ground. "there's a difference."
"twenty seconds to midnight!" seonghwa announces as he puts his phone back in his pocket.
wooyoung gasps excitedly and shakes jongho, who had dozed off, by the shoulder. "is everyone ready?" he looks at the time on his phone impatiently. "first day of the rest of our lives starts in 15...14...13..."
"this is so dumb," san leans in to whisper to you. you hadn't even noticed that he was seated beside you.
"...11...10..."
"he's enjoying himself," you chuckle, whispering back to san. "i say let him have his fun."
"...7..."
san shifts his position so that he's more comfortable, sat next to you with one leg tucked up halfway to his chest. "you know, i can give you a ride, if you want," he says suddenly.
"...4...3..."
you turn your face to look at the boy next to you, not realizing just how close he was. startled for a moment, you blink softly. his dark hair was slightly windswept from the late summer air. you were about to respond when wooyoung's excited voice interrupted your thoughts before you could say them.
"...1!" wooyoung claps enthusiastically. "happy first day of freshman year, everyone!"
a defeaning silence overtakes the nine of you after the time hits midnight. aside from wooyoung's bright smile and big eyes, no one shows any reaction.
san meets your eyes as you look around. a concerned look paints his face and you stifle a laugh. the both of you knew wooyoung and his antics the best, so you weren't surprised.
hongjoong sighs. "are we done now?" he adjusts his glasses and looks at wooyoung expectantly before sliding down the side of the van, dusting off the back of his jeans. "my mom is gonna be upset if she finds out i'm out so late on a school night."
"yeah, can we go?" jongho wipes his tired eyes with the sleeve of his black sweater. "i'm tired, in case you haven't noticed."
a small frown on his face, wooyoung looks around at the various faces around him. "does everyone want to go?" when everyone including you nods, the boy sighs. "alright, fine, whatever. thank you all for agreeing to do this, though."
the rest of your friends slide down onto the ground from the top of the van, yunho warning everyone to be careful because he 'still has to drive it back to his house before going back to campus'.
you meet up with wooyoung once you find ground. "hang in there, woo, okay?" you pat his shoulder softly. "i'll see you tomorrow. have a good night." you smile at him, but he looks at you in slight confusion.
he watches as you start to walk in the opposite direction. "aren't you coming with us in the van?"
"nope," you shake your head. "san offered to drive me."
your friend's eyes light up and he grins at you. "really?" he lifts a hand for a high five, which you return, although you're not sure why it was initiated. "have fun, y/n!"
"calm down," you furrow your brows. "it's just a car ride."
"with the choi san?" wooyoung shakes his head and chuckles, only deepening your confusion. "nuh-uh, honey. a car ride with san is never just a car ride. he's probably gonna try to make a move on you."
you blink slowly. "nice try, woo," you shake your head, tired of his games. you were used to him making things up like this. "i'm just gonna go, okay? have a nice night."
wooyoung smirks as you walk away. "you too."
san, who was leaning against the front of his car, looks up as you approach. "hey, you accepted my offer!" he smiles slightly and stands up straight to welcome you. "isn't this your first time being in my car?"
"yeah, it is," you tell san as you both walk around to your sides of the car. you slide in the passenger seat, taking in the interior of san's car. it was very him, if that made sense. "it smells nice in here."
"strawberry," san points to an air freshener hanging from the mirror. "bought it two days ago so it's still fresh."
you breathe in the scent and smile as san starts up the car. you wondered deep down if there was any truth to wooyoung's statement. you knew about san's reputation as a hit it & quit it kinda guy, but would he really make a move on you?
"there are snacks in the glovebox, by the way," san interrupts your thoughts. "hand sanitizer in the box underneath your seat. kleenex is there also." he informs you and you internally applaud how organized he is.
"thanks!" you lean forward and open the glove box in front of you, your eyes lighting up at the selection of snacks you saw. chips, pretzels, various candies and cookies.
"so, are you excited for tomorrow?" you ask san as you grab a bag of pretzels and close the glove box. "well, later today, i should say."
san chuckles and hums in response. "i guess so," he shrugs. "i mean...hot college babes, am i right?" he smirks at you and you shake your head at him in mock disappointment.
"san, i swear," you giggle at him. "i know you're not kidding, but there's gotta be more things you're excited for?"
as san starts to pull out of the spot he had parked in. "well, i guess i'm glad about the fact that i'm finally moved out," he adds. "you know what my parents are like."
you nod in understand. "yeah, of course," you dig into your bag of pretzels, feeling the familiar sweet and salty taste excite your tastebuds. "same here."
"right, yeah," san nods. "i bet your parents are gonna call you every night."
"oh my god," you roll your eyes at the thought. "i'm gonna have to change my number!" you laugh at your own words, and san does to.
you finally hit the road, the radio playing music so quietly it was inaudible to you. "you think you're gonna get a boyfriend this year?" san asks you suddenly. you were confused as to why he brought this up.
"well, it is college," you start before letting out a sigh. you knew the answer. "but no. i don't think i'll ever get a boyfriend."
san glances at you from the corner of his eye. "why's that?"
"i don't know," you toy with a loose thread hanging off the hem of your shirt. "i don't think i'm relationship material. i have literally no experience whatsoever."
"really?" san hums in thought, keeping his focus on the road in front of him. "you've never been with anyone?" you shake your head. "no first dates?" you shake your head again, and san is only more perplexed. "have you ever fucked someone before?"
your eyes widen. "san, oh my god!" you smack his arm as your cheeks heat up.
"it's just a question!" he smiles at you. "was it the way i phrased it?"
"yes!" you reply, shaking your head at him as you reach for another pretzel from your bag.
"okay, fine," he clears he throat and tries again, this time sitting up straighter and speaking in a pompous tone. "dear, have you ever fornicated with anyone, perchance?"
you burst out into laughs, so much so that tears prick your eyes and your vision blurs slightly. luckily you had already finished swallowing your pretzel, or else you would have choked. when you calm down from your laughing fit, you take a deep breath and compose yourself. "no, san," you finally say. "i've never done it."
"wow," the man next to you was actually surprised. why did he think you had done all these things? "how about...have you ever kissed anyone?"
embarrassed, you turn away and look out the car window. that was enough to give san his answer.
"you're 18 and you've never even kissed someone?" san was truly baffled. "have you at least thought about kissing someone?"
you roll your eyes. "of course i've thought about it," you respond with a sigh before continuing. "i just...don't know how to kiss, really. and i really don't want to go into university a complete loser but it's the night before our first day. who am i gonna kiss between now and 7:30 am? who am I even going to see then?" you look at the man beside who, even though was focused on the road, was listening to you very intently.
and then it dawned on you.
"hey, um, san?"
he glances at you for a moment. "hm?"
you close your eyes and take a breath. this could end horribly. "would you like to...do me a favor?"
"of course, y/n," he says. "what's up?"
you wince. did you really have to spell it out? "what were we...what were we just talking about?"
"uh, that you don't wanna go into college as a loser and that you want to kiss someone between now and the morning but you're not gonna see anyone– oh."
san pauses and looks at you momentarily. seeing your bashful expression he shakes his head. "wait, really? are you for real?" you nod and he mutters something like 'jesus' under his breath. "y/n, you want me to be the person you kiss between now and the morning?"
"san, i swear, we never have to talk about it again," you tell him. "i just know that you know what you're doing so this should be an easy task for you. please understand that this will mean and change nothing. okay?"
after a long moment of silence and consideration on san's part, he sighs and pulls over on the road, parking on the side of the street. "fuck it," he unbuckled his seatbelt and turns to face you completely. "you're fully 100% sure about this?"
"i mean, i'm a little nervous, yeah," you admit, following it up with a shrug. "it's just a kiss, right?"
san looks at you and smiles, nodding. "yeah, just a kiss," he repeats back to you. "you have nothing to worry about. just...follow my lead, okay?" he gazes at you and you feel your heartbeat quicken. was this really happening? were you going to finally have your first kiss?
san leans in closer to you, and you stay where you are. you figured that it might be weird if both of you leaned in. you watch as your friend's face grows closer to yours, your eyes drifting to his lips as his tongue darts out to wet them. you notice how chapped and dry yours are due to the wind but realize you have no time to put on any chapstick or anything.
san's face is two centimeters away from yours when he speaks, his hot breath against your skin. "i'm going to kiss you now," he says, his voice quiet, but loud enough for you to hear. "like i said, follow my lead."
you nod, watching as he closes the gap between the two of you completely, his soft lips meeting yours for the first time. you feel your heartbeat almost pound out its confinement in your chest. remembering what you've seen in movies, you close your eyes and start to slowly kiss back, your lips moving against san's in a beautiful harmony.
it felt like you were floating on a cloud. except, the cloud was san...weird. you expected kissing to be this satisfying but something about doing it with san just felt right. you wondered if he thought the same...
after what feels like the shortest long time ever, san breaks the kiss, opening his eyes and looking at you. he catches his breath and grins – no, smirks – at you. "so?" he quirks a brow at you in question.
yeah, like you could put together words at this point. you had just had your first kiss! there weren't words to express how you were feeling. so, you just nod in response to san's question, earning a chuckle from him.
"good then?" he smiles and bows slightly in his seat, a somewhat cocky look on his face. "pleased to please, my dear."
shaking your head, you smack his shoulder lightly. "whatever," you groan, hiding your reddening cheeks with your hand. "just drive, okay? i should get some sleep."
san laughs and starts the car up again. "yes, ma'am," he replies, making you smile a bit from behind your hand.
the rest of the ride back to your dorms was silent between you two. you figured that san just wanted to listen to his music, and so did you, since he had very good taste. plus, you didn't know what to say. you had just kissed, what was there to say? not wanting to make things even more awkward for yourself, you decided that staying quiet and thinking your calm little thoughts was the best way to go. you just wished that you knew what san was thinking. were you good? were you bad? did you need more practice? this was very important!
finally, you pull up in front of your university campus dorms and san turns to you. "this is your stop, no?"
you look at him quizzically. "isn't it yours too?"
"ah, nope," san responds. "late night cravings. gonna go get some food." he hums as he unlocks the door on your side.
"oh, okay," you say with a nod of understanding. you unbuckle your seatbelt and make sure you have everything you entered with. "have fun! don't stay out too late! remember, big day today." you smile at san, who nods, a matching smile on his face.
"gotcha," he says in response. watching as you open your door to leave, he sends one last dimpled grin your way. "good night, y/n."
"good night," you say to him before closing your door, leaving you outside the car. as you walk around the front of the vehicle, you take a deep breath. you had to say something.
"and san?" you call to him through the open driver's side window. he looks up, turning his radio down to hear you.
"yeah?"
you smile, seeing him so intrigued as to what you were gonna say. "thank you, by the way."
san grins mischievously at you. "you're very welcome, y/n," he winks and you roll your eyes. "for a beginner, you're pretty good."
a blush creeps onto your cheeks. "thanks, i guess," you tell him. "from what i know with my very limited experience, you're not so bad yourself, choi san."
the boy laughs and shoots finger guns at you. "catch you later, okay? take care of yourself." he drives off as you wave goodbye, a giddy feeling in your chest.
this was going to be an interesting school year.
668 notes · View notes
mknae-jongho · 5 months
Text
Ride my face
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Dom Mafia!San x Queen sub!reader (Reader name: Aurora) Kai’s name is mentioned in this story.
Word count: i don’t think it matters atp.
Warning(s): Manhandling, breeding, spit play, name calling, choking, etc etc. MDNI(read at your own risk!!) n word is involved | sorry for any word mistakes
*San pov*
“Well… well…well,” I place my gun on my rival’s knee. “Looks like the mouse is finally caught.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with it i swear!! I swear on my life.” Kai said. I looked at my babygirl before asking her, “where did he touch you??”
She replied back, “On my waist.” I looked back at him. “I didn’t touch you. Your lying son of a BITCH!!”
That made me hot. “Aurora back up a little for me love.” I saw her on the corner of my eye getting closer and i saw her pulled out a gun and a knife.
“I’m a queen san, i know what to do.”
BANG
“AHHH!!” He had blood dripping out of him onto the floor from his waist where he touched her at. I looked at her walking towards her. “You think you can handle this?” Getting closer leaving no space between us.
“There’s a lot of things that you don’t know i can handle. Watch and see san.” She walked away back towards his rival. “Let’s play baby.” I said to myself following her.
Putting my gun back onto my hip, I gripped his hair pulling his head back. “Call her a bitch again,” I began punching him til i saw blood. “SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU.”
“Kill me, i will always have someone to follow behind my footsteps! This ain’t over.” he spat on my face & i looked at Aurora’s face expression. I can tell she’s getting worked up by how she moving.
*Your pov*
“This will be over, don’t you think san,” He nodded his head. “Should i tell him or should you?” He grinned before saying, “You got it baby.”
“Thank you, Now, Kai your the last one alive sooo.” I laughed cocking my gun.
“What do you mean?” He chuckled softly getting a little shooking up.
“Your little gang are already dead love, i mean,” i got closer to him grabbing his face harshly pulling him towards me. “Had to save the best for last right.”
He spat in my face, “Fuck you Aurora or whatever your name is.” I leaned up getting pissed wiping his spit off and San must have noticed.
“Did his just spat on you?” he sped walked to you pulling out his gun getting pissed as well.
“Yes he did, San i’m bout to kill this nigga!” I pushed san away pointing my gun at kai.
“That was a tad bit disrespectful dont you think san.” I looked at san.
“Yes very.”
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
“Clean this up.” I looked at san before saying, “Who?” i looked at him like he stupid
“You.” He said laughing.
“A hehe hell, boy hell nawl, we got guards and shit for a reason tell them to come get this shit.” I walked out the basement.
“I’m just playing baby.” You heard san yelling.
“Guards clean this.” Was the last thing you heard san say before going to take a shower.
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I was currently laying in bed smoking me a blunt as San was down stairs talking with seonghwa and the rest of boys. When i get high i get horny so i decided to send san a couple of nude videos.
*attachment*
*attachment*
*attachment*
*attachment*
I sent him one where i was spitting out of my mouth as it dribbled down my chin onto my boobs.
ding*
“Why did you send this when their beside me??” ~san
“Cause i’m horny san i need you.” ~you
“You could’ve told me instead of sending nudes, i love them but don’t send them when i’m with them, they could’ve saw!” ~san
“Okay i don’t give af, you gonna fuck me or not?” ~you
“Are you getting smart?” ~san
“Nawl. I’m just saying.” ~you
“I’m just saying too, don’t get smart.”~san
“Man i didnt so come a fuck me. pls:(.” ~you
“Yeah whateva.” ~san
“San enough with the bs i’m horny.” ~you
“Okay wait. I’ll be up there ina minute.” ~san
“Okay!!”~ you
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“Aurora open the door.”san trying to come in twisting the door knob.
“open it , it’s not lock san.” Face palming yourself
He quickly open the door and saw you were already on the bed in your lingerie. “Up. Come here.” He said swiftly taking off his belt. You walked towards him seductively til he pulled your wrist and turned you so that your back is faced his chest. He wrapped the belt around both your wrist and tightened it.
“On your knees.” You did what he said as he unbuttoned his black leather pants and pulled his underwear down at the same time. He was so hard that his cock was dripping with precum. “See what you did to me, now suck me off like a good girl.” He rubbed you cheek gently. “Yes sir.”
You kitty licked his tip swallowing his precum as you hear him groan quietly. “ You like that baby? Does it feel good?” You took him all in as his long cock hit the back of your throat . “Fuck babygirl,” he started moving faster holding your chin and your head to keep you in place. “you’re making me feel so good.”
Having san fucking your throat was all you wanted, being a mafia king and queen is stressful and you have to be careful especially since san is talking about wanting a baby. “Fuck i’m gonna cum,” San murmured in a shaky voice, he pulled out of your mouth which lead you to be confused. “I want to cum inside of you, let me breed you, cum deep into you til my cum is dripping from your pretty cunt.”
“Cum inside of me as much as you want san,” You pushed him onto the bed and swaddled his waist. “I’m all yours.” He pulled you down so that you’re chest to chest as he placed his hands on your waist with a tight squeeze. “You don’t know what you do to me princess,” You both made eye contact until his eyes wandered down to your lips. His face got closer to your til your lips were connected as it continued on to a heated make out.
“Are you ready for me?” He lifted up your waist moving one of his hands down to rub his tip on your entrance. “Put it in me san.” Whining as you felt like you were about to explode from being so tensed up. “Yes madam.” He entered you in a fast and harsh thrust giving you no time to adjust. “So tight baby girl,” He groans softly. “I can fuck you all day.” Speeding up his pace your slowly losing your mind.
“Sannnn,” looking up at you loving your pleasured face as you moan his name. “Fuck sannie, i’m gonna cum.” He slowed down is paced pulling out of you. “Whyyyyyy?? I was close san.” he slide down the bed a little to get in the right position. “Ride my face.” He pulled you by your waist to bring you towards his face. You moved up to put both of your legs of each side of his face.
“Sit on my face and let me make you feel good.” He grabbed both of your thighs to pull you down on his face as he began to eat. “Mmmh.” You gripped his locs tightly looking down to see him already look at you. He sped up his pace lick after lick making you roll your eyes to the back of your head. “Feels good?? Huh??” He murmured giving you a hard spank on your ass. “Yesss san.” Sliding his tongue inside of your aunt did it for you. Your legs began to tremble as your close to the end.
“Cum for me, i know your close baby.” He put his hand on your back laying you forwards to slip in a finger hitting the right spot. “Right there?? Does it feel good right there??” He slowly slipped in another finger twirling them around moving them in and out at a fast pace before beginning to suck your clit, matching the same pace as his fingers.
“I’m cuming san, i’m fucking close san i’m gonna burst!!” you yelled as you felt your stomach tighten and a burning pleasure on your clit letting you know your gonna cum any second. “Cum for me, squirting on daddy face, let me taste you.” His words were all you needed to get off edge.
He sped up his fingers as you clenched around them when suddenly, “Fuck baby girl, that’s right cum on my face.” You came, his paced slowed down as he helped you ride out your high before you slowly removed yourself from his face, laying down beside him.
“10 sec break to collect yourself.” He told you before hovering above you slowly rubbing your inner thighs. Nodding your head, he began to count down.
“10…….9……….8……..7…….6……5……..4…….3…….2……1” He slowly entered you bottoming you out. “Put your legs on my shoulder.” Doing what he told you, he adjusted himself so that you can feel that he’s deeper inside of you. He began to move at a slow but hard pace wanting to take his time with you so that you feel every inch of him.
“Sannn.” Opening your eyes to look at him. “hmm?” He stared at you intensely running chills down your spine. “f-faster p-p-please.” After asking nicely san responded quickly by doin what you’ve asked. “You enjoyed what you did? You’re such a horny whore you’ve forgotten huh?” Pulling out of you he turned you around til your on all fours.
He entered back inside you with more raged in his thrust leaving you a moaning mess. “What are you talking about san?” He gave you a hard spank. “You’ve decided to send nudes while i was around the boys,” Another hard spank landed. “Why?” Spank. “Huh, why?” He sped up his pace and you couldn’t take it.
“Wait sannnn!” You put your hand back trying to disconnect your bodies but sadly it didn’t work. He grabbed both your hands holding them tightly with one hand and spanking you with the other. “Don’t push me off, take it like a good girl!” He used his free hand to rub your clit. “You thought i forgot what you did. I been told you i don’t like when you do that and you still did it. You wanted this right, so take what the fuck i give you like the good slut you are!”
“Ahhh,” You put you head down into the sheets to block your moans but soon later was pulled back up by a pulled on your hair. “Let daddy hear you, let me hear my princess.” He moaned loudly as he twitched inside of you hinting that he’s close. “Fuck baby, cum with me!” He rubbed your clit faster as you began to clench around his cock. “I’m close san, FUCKK!!” You said as your legs began to shake harshly. “i’m about the cum baby, cum wit daddy.” A few hard thrust later he shot his load deep inside you as his pace slowed down riding out the both of you high.
He pulled out and let you out of his grip as you fall onto the bed right after. He gave you a couple more hard spanks on your ass before laying right beside you. “Felt good?” he asked as he placed kisses on your neck leaving marks. “Yes, it felt amazing.” you chuckled softly slowly dosing off.
“Don’t fall asleep baby girl, the party had just begun.”
uhh ohh…
Sorry for not posting i’ve been a little busy..🥹I had this in my drafts and i’m just now finishing this story up.🙂
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stayteezdreams · 5 months
Text
Stranded Together
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Plot: You and San get stranded at the only available motel you can find during a storm. Good news, there's one room left. Bad news, this motel is totally haunted.
Request: 'You're in a hotel with doubles beds, you keep hearing scary noises and end up in the same bed'
Requested by: @tumbleboof
Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader (friends to lovers)
Warnings: Creepy content. Mildly suggestive content. (A good mixture of fluff and creepiness.)
A/n: Not my bedroom door creaking open for no reason as I was writing this DX
Words: 2.1k
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This really wasn't how you expected your night to end up. You thought you would be on a plane heading home, but instead, you and San were staring at the small eerily empty room of a motel in the middle of God knows where.
Both of you were tired, but the unsettling atmosphere was sending shocks of adrenaline through both of you. You knew you would be awake for most of the night.
It all started with grid-locked traffic that caused you and San to miss the flight with the rest of the boys. Then you made the decision to drive two hours to the next city to get a flight, since no other would be available at your previous location until the next day.
But of course, the weather was not on your side. Halfway there, a storm alert panicked your taxi driver, and instead of ending up at an airport, you ended up at a terrifying motel surrounded by nothing but trees and fields just as the storm started.
The good news in all of this, was that they had an available room. The bad news was of course, that the motel was terrifying and seemed to come right out of every ghost movie you'd ever watched.
Now you and San were walking silently around the small room, wondering if you were going to get any sleep at all tonight. Between the haunting location, the whistling wind, and booming thunder outside, you weren't too sure.
You sat down on the edge of one of the beds, while San sighed and lied down on the other.
"At least the beds are comfy." He mumbled.
You smiled, "Too bad this place is objectively creepy."
He chuckled as he grabbed the remote on the nightstand. "This should help."
Turning on the tv, an unfamiliar show began playing but the sound instantly made the quiet room more comfortable.
"I'm glad I'm not alone though." San said with a smile to you and you chuckled, trying to ignore how your heartbeat picked up.
Of course being alone in this place would be much more terrifying, but you were sure your nervously beating heart may prefer if it had been someone else. But no, it was San, the one person you were head-over-heels for. Who you were now stuck in a room alone with.
You weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. Though, unbeknownst to you, the night would reveal which.
After you both changed into pajamas, you sat in silence as you watched the movie on the TV. There was an unsettling tension hanging between you as you shared nervous looks every time you heard an unfamiliar sound.
Creaks in the hallway, thuds from the closet, even the sound of footsteps on what would be the rooftop.
When a loud clang sounded in the bathroom, you jumped as you looked over at San who was frozen, staring at the darkened bathroom. He slowly met your eyes and you shared a conversation without speaking.
'You check.'
'Why me, you check!'
Reaching out his hand you followed his movements as you played rock, paper, scissors.
As you stared at your flat hand and his two out-stretched fingers, you cursed as you eyed the bathroom.
Slowly getting up with a sigh, you crept towards the bathroom aware of San's eyes following you closely.
Reaching out, you pushed open the ajar door, and the creaking sounds filled the room, sending goosebumps up your arms. Quickly switching on the light your heart jumped, but you were filled with uneasy relief as you saw nothing. In all honesty, you were hoping to find a rat, anything that might explain the noises other than ghosts.
Spotting a clothes hangar on the floor, you picked it up, aware that it had been hanging on the shower rod before.
Stepping out into the room, you showed it to San. "It fell."
"How?" San questioned and you shrugged setting it on the TV stand, trying not to think too much about it.
Lying back down you groaned, "I almost wish we were stranded in the car still."
San chuckled, but he felt the same. He had previously been buzzing with nervous excitement at the idea of sharing a room with you. But he wasn't expecting the creepy motel to steal his thoughts away from you.
Hearing a scratching sound from the closet beside your bed, you jolted up. You groaned as you wiggled around in frustration.
San eyed you before he moved over to one side of his bed, "Hey."
You looked over at him and he patted the bed beside him. You rose your brow and he smiled, "I think we'll both feel better."
"What, if we cuddle?" You asked teasingly, but your heart was racing
He raised his brow and spoke in an even more teasing tone, obviously trying to help lighten the mood. "If you want."
You rolled your eyes but did not reject the idea as you walked over to his bed, crawling in beside him. You kept a few inches between you, not actually cuddling with him. Though, he was secretly disappointed at this.
You brought your knees up to your chest as you tried to focus on the TV again, now acutely aware of Sans presence, and the unfamiliar noises around you.
Your eyes drifted over to the closet again and San leaned closer, "Want me to look this time?"
You jumped at this before hissing, looking over at him, ignoring the proximity of his face. He grinned, amused that he scared you.
"No, it's fine." You said, trying to repress your fear.
"Are you still scared?" He asked, amusement in his tone.
You rolled your eyes, "You're scared too!"
"Am not!" He challenged and you gasped.
"Oh please, you are just as freaked out as I am, admit it!"
Before he could speak, you both froze as the sound of footsteps sounded in the hall.
"Okay, I am." He admitted suddenly and you felt him move a bit closer to you.
You resisted the urge to lean back into his presence for comfort.
You stared at the door and spoke softly, "It's just another guest."
San nodded, "Right."
As the footsteps got louder, they stopped right in front of your door. you and San waited silently. Were they going to knock? Were they looking for their room?
Another moment passed and no noise was heard. You nervously looked over at San, now worried about what the unknown person was going to do.
San rose and you watched with baited breath as he crept as softly as he could to the door before peering through the peep hole.
Stepping away a moment later, he turned to you and his face was blank, but fear was obvious in his eyes. "There's no one out there."
How? You heard the footsteps come, but not leave? Where would they have gone?
"That's not funny." Your voice was obviously shaken.
San just shook his head softly. "I'm not joking."
Suddenly a bright flash filled the room before a clap of thunder shook the walls. Darkness filled the room and you let out a yelp as you jumped back. You heard hurried footsteps before San jumped into the bed, his arms wrapping around you as you heard his own startled breaths.
You gripped onto his arm for a moment before you both relaxed, taking a few breaths.
"Oh my God." You mumbled out as you let out a few deep breaths.
Silence hung in the air for a moment before you both let out nervous laughs.
"That was such bad timing." San mumbled between nervous chuckles, still holding onto you.
"Were you serious? There was no one outside?"
He nodded, "There was no one. Maybe they just walked away really softly?"
"Yeah." You agreed, though doubt was obvious in your tone.
Looking towards San, you could just see his face due to the full-moon light coming through the windows. His face was barely an inch from yours, his breath brushed your skin.
When you spoke, your nose almost brushed his. He felt your breath on his lips and he felt a shiver of temptation crawl through him.
"I'm scared." Your voice was a whisper.
You felt San's grip tighten ever-so-slightly around you. He replied, his voice just as quiet. "Me too. But it's okay, I've got you."
His words, and touch comforted you, and you felt safer than you had all night. He was and always would be a safe place for you, even if he drove your heart crazy.
"Stay here tonight." He mumbled, his nose now brushing yours.
Your heart was beating like crazy and you wondered if he could feel it. But his words confused you.
"What else would I do, find another motel?" You asked softly, almost amused
He let out a soft breathy laugh, before shaking his head. "No, I meant here. In my bed."
Your heart leapt to your throat and your breath hitched. Sharing a room with him was hard enough, but sharing the same bed?
He could sense your reservation and he wondered if it was out of discomfort, or the same fear of temptation and hidden feelings he held.
"Only if you're comfortable. But...I think it might be less frightening. And I would feel better if I knew you were close."
A thousand thoughts rushed though your head as you softly nodded, "Okay."
You stared in silence at each other, his face slowly becoming more visible as your eyes adjusted to the darkness. You thought you saw his eyes flick to your lips and linger for a moment but you felt it might just be your eyes seeing things unclearly.
Slowly, you felt his hands move from around your arms to your waist, and you felt a shiver run up your spine. His breath seemed to brush your face more than before as you wondered if he was inching closer.
As another flash of lightning lit up the room, you jumped, before suddenly freezing as San gripped you close, his lips smashing into yours.
Astonishment and excitement ran through you as you realized he was kissing you. But before you could return the kiss, he was pulling away.
"I'm sorry." The words rushed out, and you felt your heart drop a little.
Your eyes locked as silent hung between you for a moment. Butterflies rushed through you, but so did disappointment at his sudden regret.
"Why are you sorry?" You asked softly, a hint of despondence in your tone he did not miss.
"What?" He felt hope rise in his chest as his heart beat heavily.
He was surprised at his own actions, as he moved without thinking, finally having kissed you like he had been imagining for ages.
"Why are you sorry?" You repeated.
Silence hung in the air for a second as you felt his hands tighten on your waist again.
"I guess I'm not." He mumbled out before you felt his lips meet yours again as he quickly pulled you against his chest.
The kiss became heated as your hands found his neck and hair, your fingers causing a shiver to course through him. His own hands pressed into your skin as he pulled you closer.
Another heated moment passed before you both pulled away, letting out breathy laughs as he rested his forehead against yours. He kissed you again, but pulled away a moment later, not wanting to act on his impulsiveness quite yet. And definitely not here.
"I've been wanting to do that for so long." He breathed out before pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
You grinned as you let out a soft giggle. "The feeling's mutual."
"I definitley wasn't expecting this to be how, or where, I admitted it."
You chuckled as you were reminded of your surroundings. Being reminded even more when a bang sounded from the hallway, making you jolt.
You let out a soft gasp as San suddenly pushed you down in the bed before covering the both of you with the sheets. Realizing he was hiding the two of you, you laughed.
He chuckled as he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you. "There, now we're safe, nothing can get us."
You giggled again as you placed your face against his chest, as he placed his head on yours, pulling you even closer and letting out a contented sigh.
"Can't say it wasn't a unique confession." He mumbled.
"It'll make for a great story." You admitted and he let out a soft laugh.
"A love story or a ghost story?"
"Both?"
He laughed as he nodded his head, pressing a kiss to the top of yours before cuddling you closer. "Both."
xx End xx
General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669
Ateez Taglist: @soso59love-blog, @thunderous-wolf
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