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crybabyddl · 6 months

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Just finished my rewatch of jatp. My perfrct track record of not crying during Unsaid Emily remains untouched. I will say though, I was very close to shedding a tear this time. However, I didn’t even cry during Stand Tall! I always cry during Stand Tall!

Anyways, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the headcanons and theories that us tumblr fantoms created and the little easter eggs we discovered while watching and rewatching the series. It makes me really appreciative of the fact that we had a sense of community during a time where a lot of us were alone, scared, and uninspired. Just like Julie, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and hope. I think that a lot of people felt the same after watching the show. Julie and the Phantoms is what inspired me to learn the piano, the ukulele, and it led me to getting a guitar. When I learned how to play the chords for the soundtrack, I was playing those songs nonstop. It really helped me brave through the unsure feelings that came along with the pandemic. It made me forget my fears about the future.

I don’t feel as hopeful about things as I did back then, but JATP will always be a land-marking point in my life. It represents newfound joy, reignited passion, and abundant vivacity. As someone who loves and is extremely passionate about music, this silly little netflix show really hit me in the most sensitive places. And while I remember having a bout of serious depression after finishing the series, (along with intense rage that while I was dealing with my depression at its lowest point, the cast of jatp was living what felt like my dream) the lessons I learned from the show were far more significant. It literally brought music back into my life, no joke.

The friends I made because of JATP will always have a special place in my heart. A lot of them don’t use tumblr anymore, and I don’t use it nearly as much as I used to, but I’m still so grateful to have been introduced to such kind, accepting, and funny people. The stories, theories, headcanons, fanfictions, moodboards, inside jokes, memes, and fanart we created will always be remembered and cherished. I’m still pro-cheesecake, I’m still highly allergic to sleeves, and every time I see an unnecessary or fake zipper, I think of my fellow tumblr fantoms.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly “get over” Julie and the Phantoms. It was the first thing that truly resonated with my spirit as a new adult. I was 19 and had dropped out of college, feeling completely lost and like I had nothing going for me. Going into lockdown because of the pandemic didn’t help with any of that, and I was aimlessly, endlessly scrolling on social media, hoping to find meaning and purpose. And one day, my friend posted a clip on snapchat of what she was watching on netflix. The guy was cute and it looked like him and the girl he was next to had a nice connection so I asked what show it was. That’s how I discovered JATP, almost 2 weeks after its release. I also just have an unhealthy attachment to the show and the characters so I refuse to let this media that speaks to my soul die.

All that being said, we really deserved another season. I think it would cure me entirely, if I’m being honest. Even if it was just a little Christmas special where they decorate a tree and do those mini stories like filler episodes of a cartoon series. Hell, I’d settle for an animated JATP episode. I just think we all deserve it after what we’ve been through not only as a fandom, but as human beings. I will never forgive netflix for it’s terrible job at promoting, because they only failed when it came to this show specifically. They managed to keep every other show, even ones far less deserving of acclaim and attention, afloat during and after the pandemic. The only reason JATP managed to get anywhere was solely the cast, creators, and fans. Paul Becker was on fucking overdrive, churning out BTS videos WEEKLY. Fanfiction writers were bursting at the seams with multi-chapter series and one shots about every possible scenario. We got things trending on twitter during the two most chronically online years. Fanart was being shared like crazy, and we had the instagram fantoms so confused by the memes that they retaliated and claimed they were superior.

Meanwhile, tumblr was in its shadowbanning era, and fantoms were in the TRENCHES trying to get their content to reach beyond mutuals and taglists. We received barely any appreciation, except for when we trended on twitter asking to renew jatp and on tumblr for jatp appreciation week. Let’s not forget when we thought Owen had a secret tumblr and we all started accusing each other of being him. I will never forget when we all rallied to get Madi to 1 million followers because we didn’t want her to become overshadowed by the boys and all the attention they were getting. We all watched their instagram lives and I will always love the tumblr fantoms who made gifs of the cutest moments from those. Everyone saw me shamelessly simp over Charlie with facial hair wearing a santa onesie. We created a whole Carrie redemption arc out of thin air, we created origin stories for Rose and the Petal Pushers, and we forced the creators of JATP to give us the official last names of Reggie, Alex, and Flynn (This adventure SPECIFICALLY!!!) We were ruthless in our efforts to uncover their last names. We used breadcrumbs to make theories and speculations, only to end up begging in every comment section and dm inbox we could to get Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, and eventually—though much, much later—Flynn Taylor. We gave Willie more crop tops, we basically storyboarded a second season, complete with episode titles and songs! We uncovered the Sunset Curve EP using the grainiest photos in existence, we created a loose timeline surrounding everyone’s birthdays, deaths, and significant events. We orchestrated a fucking CONCERT TOUR for this band. Oh, and let’s not forget when Kenny and the boys went to Hawaii. That Hawaii trip was so eventful for the fantoms, you have no idea how serious I’m being unless you were there for it. That was something unlike anything else for so many reasons. There’s a lot more, but that’s the stuff that came to mind immediately.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #crybabyddl rambles #fantoms #tumblr #ilyasm #<3 #i’m emo #:’)#i miss the girl and her ghost himbos

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 20 hours

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Hello! Have you watched or are you going to watch the kdrama Begins Youth, which is based on the HYYH universe? I'm curious about your opinion. Personally, I really like it, they chose good actors who really have a lot in common with the bts members, especially the character playing Hosu has the same facial expressions as JHope, he is very convincing. sometimes the scenes are too long and tedious, as are the dialogues, but that's probably the nature of kdramas.

Hi!

No, sorry, I haven't watched it... I've never cared for HYYH era... To me, BTS being characters in their own albums and MVs is just weird? It's like fanfiction, but Hybe profits from it lmao. This is one of the things I don't get about kpop.

I've seen some gifs from the drama, but so far I don't see the similarities between the boys and the characters/actors. But, again, I've only seen a few gifs, mostly of Jikook.

I've been hearing a lot that the actors act like the members though.

And yes, long, flowery dialogue and dramatic crying are kdrama staples.

I was actually thinking - seeing the popularity of HYYH and now this drama - that the way Army interpret some of the dynamics between the members seems to be pretty influenced by HYYH? This is more conjecture than anything, since I'm not that familiar with the BU and became Army in 2019, but half of the fascination with Yoonkook, for example, seems to come from HYYH era. I keep seeing Army talk about BU Yoonkook and the lack of them in the drama, and a lot of Yoonkook moments people talk about are HYYH related.

I know Yoonkook are cute, but I was just thinking that HYYH was really influential in the fandom. But maybe I'm very off base. I don't get the BU at all... And I'm also not accusing you of mixing fantasy with reality or trying to make you feel bad about liking the drama! I just see Army talk about BU a lot.

Unrelated, but on the topic of mixing fantasy with reality, one of the most frustrating things about this fandom is the absurd amount of misinformation from Armys who think a popular account's shitpost or take on a members' words from 10 years ago is the absolute truth. Like, I get that Jungkook had a crush on RM - whether in a hero worship or romantic sense - but it's so ridiculous the way people talk about Namkook! Army reduce most BTS dynamics to stereotypes (with the exception of Jikook who are just ignored lmao) and greatly overhype some popular ships like Sope (imo). I read Jikook fanfiction so I see this all the time. The members and their dynamics are so often reduced to stereotypes and jokes that half the shit on twitter is already fanfiction. We'll never truly know the members, but half of this fandom doesn't even pay attention to actual content.

Sorry for rambling. I wanted to give you a long answer but since I didn't watch the drama I had to make shit up.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #text #thanks for the ask!

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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(anon who mentioned RPF in the last two asks)

Yeah, fine, not all RPF fans are creepy or stay silent when their friends act creepy. But the loudest, most prominent and most well-known ones are. So just, personally, as a rule, my personal defense system gets put on high alert when I find out someone is into RPF.

People can seem totally normal when you're talking to them about something else, but then you can find out that they do not display healthy boundaries when it comes to RPF. There is certainly a line between "I would totally date this person if u could" and "anyone else dating this person is attacking me personally and I get to harass them for it"; showing them some merch to sign at an event and showing them your fanfiction; thinking "they'd look cute together" about two performers and shipping them in earnest; writing fanfic about generic scenarios and writing fic about painful things the performer is actually going through; musing that two performers night be dating and going through as much data as you can to prove that two people secretly dating. I don't even think there's a 'normal' equivalent to people who claim idols are queerbaiting them.

Because I actually HAVE interacted with both kinds, but the normal kind was a rare blessing in a sea of insanity and apathy. And I certainly wouldn't have felt comfortable around those people if I hadn't known their stances on how famous people deserve to be treated beforehand. Far too many people are apathetic about harassment and stalking because they think of them as objects. At the end of the day, I believe people should treat real people differently to fictional people.

LOL. Dude...

Seriously? Where are your morals right now?

RPF cooties obviously don't matter to you when there's a chance of having a platform, or have you not noticed that my main fandom has been BTS for a couple of years?

It's hilarious that you bring up idols. There's a lot of "He can't date anyone because it's an attack on me!" in those fandoms, but that's the expected behavior from the regular fans. That's why idols aren't allowed to date publicly and everyone pretends like they're virgins who've never had a crush, even though they're famous celebs who are probably up to their eyebrows in hookers and blow.

I agree that the people crying about queerbaiting are annoying, but what does it say about you that you're more concerned about the m/m fic writers than the mainstream parts of idol fandoms, which are famous guy/female self but not expressed in fanworks.

I agree that idol culture is a toxic mess, but fanfic is not why.

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okay-j-hannah · 4 months

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Hii hannah!! It's me, the mysterious anon and I'm officially done with not just my exams but highschool! I got my results back few days ago and im surprised i almost got all As because during the last three exams I was literally reading will turner and lotr fanfictions more than my textbooks lmao 😭

And can I just say you're so so sweet and ilysm !!! tysm for accepting my request, can't wait to see how you are gonna write them! although, do remember to write it with your own pace, you don't have to feel obligated to finish it and post it asap (and this goes to all the requests you've gotten) we know you're a human being too with your own things in your daily life and ofc we acknowledge and respect that, that's the least we can do when you actually take time out of your life and accept to write our requests <333

I know I said it in the last ask I sent you but thank you so so much for accidently introducing me to will turner, remember how I fell down the rabbit hole? it seems i am still falling, but now in another rabbit hole named lord of the rings; yes I joined the lotr fandom! i was lookin for more orlando bloom movies and found out he played legolas and I started the series just for him lol,, really though the lotr universe is so beautiful!! ive always loved fantasy universes but was too lazy to actually start something classic like lotr but now that i've done it im feeling the hyperfixation literally running through my veins!! I ordered silmarillion and im like this close to ordering all the books in Tolkien legendarium even though im nearly broke lmao. and my bi ass is in love with everyone, especially the elves, came just for legolas but staying for all the tolkien elves and faramir, eowyn, sam and aragorn 😭 really though, I have barely read silmarillion yet i am in love with elves like ecthelion and glorfindel too 😭

i can't wait read more of your lotr work, so far, I've only read haldir fic (it was so cute!) and hobbit/doctor who one and im in love with that one!! i spend so much of my time thinking what if I were to accidently end up in my current hyperfixation universe. will I survive actually? Will I even be able to make eye contact with my comfort characters, or speak to them? unless somehow I get some kind of superpowers or immortality, i would likely die in the first fifteen minutes for sure haha. can't wait to read the second part of that story and how doctor fits into the story! Also mgime trope is actually so fun to read! after this one, I went to ao3 for more and im so in love with this trope im thinking about writing one myself!

Just realising, It's funny thing, joining new fandom tbh ; i remember scrolling through your page in March and i had no idea who any of the lotr characters or potc characters were but now im in love with the lotr&potc universe and its all i can think about. do you mind, if i ask you how do you balance fandoms thing? you're in so many fandoms and i always wonder how you love them/give them time equally even after having so many other fandoms. in recent years I've joined many fandoms but every time I join a new one, i start loving the new one so much i completely stop even thinking bout the old one. and it's incredibly silly i know but I feel like I'm betraying/cheating my old fandom and my comfort characters in a way by hyperfixating on whatever my current fandom is.

Speaking of hyperfixations, also so so excited for David tennant in the 60th specials!! And donna n wilf!! I too will have to finish 13's episodes before November though. btw did you see the bts pictures of 15 and the new companion Ruby? It seems like we're gonna get good history episodes with the new doctor !!

Oh also!! It's been officially a year since I started reading your fics! And today 29 May actually marks the day(technically night ig) I read the last parts of dying girl series. I still remember that day, I had finished watching stranger things' then new episodes, I was already crying because of The max and vecna episode and I decided to torture myself more by reading the series and cried more lmao.

Ahh cant believe its been a year, i remember being anxious to send you my request and all those asks and now I am actually talking to you! I am so glad I decided to check out your blog last May, one of the best decision ive made! If it werent for you, i probably would've never further watched doctor who, or started potc and lotr/hobbit series and just Tolkien's work tbh. Ik I've said it a lot of times but really though, thank you so much for introducing me to all these movies, shows, books and ofc, your writing. I've loved every single second I've spent on your blog and while watching these tv and movie series, idk how to exactly word this because english isn't my first language, but the time spent on your blog and while watching the shows/movies really is best time I've spent in my boring life, I've felt more alive doing that than I actually had while living my "life".

Oh and I'm glad you had fun writing my domestic fic request! I would also love to read about the reader and doctors' in between adventures, hope you write about it and honestly, I'd love to read whatever you write, even if it isn't full fics, just random stuff like headcanons or draft ideas you had! And I would request bout it but I've already requested two fics and honestly, my brain feels too disconnected from the fic to give you ideas kinda stuff for the fic. I guess, its time to reread the series ; I hope I can get through it this time without crying though 😭

I still haven't finished watching all the potc movies, only two or three because I got into lotr, but more will turner content from you? So excited!! And yeah It is surprising that I haven't watched the movies because they are classic! but they actually came out before I was born/when I was really young so I didn't get to watch them at that time, plus movies, especially from outside my country weren't as accessible so my brain focused on what I had, the barbie and disney movies and tv cartoons.

Sometimes I honestly can't believe that all the movies/TV series I'm hyperfixating over came out so long ago and that I am watching and obsessing over them after like 15-20 years, that really is a lot of time! but tbh, I feel like this is how it was meant to be, yknow? I was meant to love these movies and characters rn, because maybe I needed them now more than I did back then. And as I said, I was barely a kid and didn't even speak English language, even if I did get to watch all the movies I don't think I'd even understand them lol.

Oh and I too love the pen pal things we have going, it's fun, isn't it? Really sorry for replying months late though, i wanted to write earlier but I have executive dysfunction so it's really hard to do even the simplest of things😭 next time i'll try not to be months late lol.

I just realised I wrote a lot lol, Thank you for reading the whole rambling, I hope the whole thing doesn't seem too diorganised to read . And yeah, Bye! hope you have good day/night or whatever time of the day you're reading this at<333

Hello mysterious anon!

I think our trend will now be just randomly replying to each other every few months because 100% we both have busy lives.

I feel weirdly proud to have instigated some of your new fandom hyperfixations, I am so obsessed with too many. It is really hard to spread all my love/attention to so many.

I think I look at it like phases. I will always return to my old loves, but depending on my mood or phase in life I'm drawn to a certain fandom. I started rewatching Criminal Minds a while ago and got so reinvested in the show that I started writing a series with Spencer Reid {it's like 21k words right now and I haven't decided if I'm posting it or not}

And I started watching The Crown, so I've fully entered another time period phase and I want to watch all things Jane Austen. I read Sense and Sensibility recently because of it. I think I'm going to watch Little House on the Prairie for the time period drama. I might watch Poldark or Outlander or Vikings for the same reason.

I agree it's hard to move on to another fandom when you feel you're neglecting the others. I try to refresh my brain of my old favorites, like I remember the day I mixed up Death Eaters and Dementors and I felt so ashamed that I reread the whole Harry Potter series just to remind myself.

I guess I just do my best to acknowledge all of them and then be patient when I'm fixating on only one in particular. I find a balance when I'm writing fics about them because I'll rewatch something so I can get a feel for the characters before I write about them. But sometimes it is hard to write a request for a character that I am not currently obsessed with.

I'm glad you passed your classes and are hopefully moving on to bigger and better things {I know you are fandom wise}. I haven't been writing much the last year, but I do still check my activity frequently. We'll see what and when I'll decide to post next.

But for now, I wish you luck in life and hopefully the comfort you'll get from your new potc and lotr friends will get you through some of the tough times.

💜 Hannah

#okay j hannah #okayjhannah #fandomfantasia #hannahbeartalks #okayjhannah answer #okayjhannah question #anon ask okay j hannah

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krueger-aesthetics-blog · 6 years

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If you like far cry, horror, fanfictions, johnny depp, kpop, art, marvel/DC or something like that, remember you are the greatest person of all time. Mic drop.

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girl8890 · 2 years

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Penpals | Chapter 10

Idol!Kim Tae-hyung / V x Fem!Reader

Summary: You weren’t big on social media. Hell, you didn’t even care much for trends. So when you get a notification one day on instagram from a person claiming to be a global sensation, you can’t believe it. Months later, you still can’t believe your penpals with BTS’s good boy - Kim Taehyung himself.

Warnings: Mentions of past toxic relationships and sexual assault.

Notes: The events that are in this story can definitely happen in real life, BUT this is just a fanfiction and I don’t think these events will actually happen/are occurring. Anything in italics are texts messages.

BTS ML | Index | CH 11

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

When Ky finally gets to your house, she doesn't even knock on the door. She bursts in like a fireman about to put out a fire, and her eyes move back and forth, trying to find you.

You haven't moved from your spot on the ground since she called you. Your tears have dried, but now you're just staring at a random crack in your flooring in a daze.

Ky picks you up slowly and leans you against the back of the couch. You feel so drained from crying so much that when you look at Ky, it's like you're seeing through her. Looking at her, but not actually looking at her.

"Y/n, what the fuck happened?" You hear the concern in Ky's voice, and by the look on her face, it's obvious she's pissed. Pissed for unknown reasons, to her.

You swallow even though your throat is dry and relay everything step-by-step of what happened with Mara. When you get to the part about Kwang, Ky's jaw drops.

"No fucking way! That bitch did not!"

"Oh, she fucking did. And she had the audacity to say Kwang 'changed.' I don't know what's up with her. It's like she completely forgot everything he did to me!"

At some point, while relaying what happened with Mara, your sadness melted away and reverted back to anger. Making you clench your fists and your voice go up a notch.

"And telling him about Taehyung? Is she insane?! What if he tries to do something?"

"I mean..."

You stop there. You honestly forgot about Mara saying she told Kwang about Taehyung. Obviously, you mentioned it, since Ky knows, but you were so engrossed with anger it slipped your mind.

You're supposed to be taking a break from each other. Not talking except for the usual good morning and good night texts to still have your fill of each other. All so you can figure out if you are ready to meet the idol that's been in your DMs and message boxes for the last two months.

But now Mara may have just changed this plan because of the possibility of Kwang doing something you’re afraid of.

"What if Kwang is only with Mara to get back at me?"

Ky raises a curious eyebrow at your accusation.

"I mean, I guess that could be a possibility. But do you think Kwang would really go that far?"

You re-think everything he's done to you thus far. The sexual assault when you broke up with him, the cheating out of spite, cyberbullying you, the nonstop texting just to remind you every day he hates you. All this ended a couple months ago, but now you realize how convenient that was when he started dating Mara, so...

"Yes. And now that he knows about Taehyung and me, I don't know what he'll do."

"Welp, it seems like you’re going to have to have a rather awkward conversation with Taehyung."

You groan in defeat.

"Fuck. I guess I am."

You pull out your phone and adjust your hair in the screen mirror. Wanting to at least look like you didn't just cry for a good twenty minutes. You hear Ky snort, and you look at her with a stink eye.

"Seriously? Your worrying about what you look like right now?"

"Oh, shush."

You open up his contacts and text him, asking him if he's able to FaceTime right now. You wait for the message to say read and watch as the 'typing' bubble pops up, indicating Taehyung is in the middle of texting you back.

V ♥︎ (9:30am): Damn angel! You miss me already? It's only been two hours 😂

V ♥︎ (9:30am): Not that I'm complaining though 😘

Even while you were just put in one of the worst situations you could be in, at the moment, V still finds a way for you to smile through it. Granted, he has no idea what's going on. However, it still sobers your weeping heart a little, knowing you'll always have a person like Taehyung in your life that can give you this type of reaction.

You (9:31am): OMG shh! Lol... But seriously, can you FT? It's kinda important.

V ♥︎ (9:30am): I'll call you in 5

With that, you wait for his call to come through. Staring at your phone and waiting for the screen to show he's calling. Less than 3 minutes later, he FaceTimes you, and you answer the second the screen pops up.

"Damn, angel. Not only did you miss me so much that you couldn't wait the week, but you answered the call in record time!? I feel so flattered."

You roll your eyes and shake your head at him. You're supposed to be talking to him about a complex and important situation, but of course, Taehyung has to find a way to lighten your mood.

Not that you're complaining.

"Tae, this is important. Stop making me all blushy," You say while one of your hands holds your rosy cheek.

"I can't help it! I love making you all flustered."

You were about to say how rude he was, not actually meaning it but wanting to have a little banter like you always do with Taehyung. But then someone starts screaming next to you with a voice of a mouse.

You slowly turn to face Ky, completely forgetting she was even here when your mind was pinpointed on calling Taehyung. You are now regretting never having the balls to bring up the conversation about other people knowing about him and you.

"You guys… ARE SO ADORABLE!"

"Um… Y/n?" You look back to Taehyung. "Is someone with you?"

Luckily, you realize Taehyung isn't mad. Quite the opposite actually. He's looking around you, wherever he can see on FaceTime, trying to find this mystery person.

"Yeah… this is Ky, my best friend." You point the camera at Ky, and the second she sees his face, her jaw drops. "Ky, this is Taehyung. Do you really need me to explain who he is?"

Taehyung laughs, either at your words or Ky's reaction and Ky is still stunned in her spot. Not believing that she's looking face-to-face with one of her favorite idols of all time.

When you point the camera back at yourself, you clear your throat when you see Ky still hasn't closed her mouth.

"Sweetheart, you'll catch flies."

Ky shakes her head and whispers a subtle, "Wow." Still stunned in her spot. "It's not that I didn't believe you, especially after the selfie and magazine incident, but Jesus Y/n… you’re dating a fucking BTS member!"

Taehyung smirks at you when Ky says 'dating,' and you roll your eyes, but don't correct her this time.

"As much as I'm glad you believe me, Ky - Tae, I just want to say I'm sorry. We never exactly talked about who can know about us and all that stuff. Even though I've been meaning to for a while," You mumble your last sentence.

"Angel, it's okay," Taehyung chuckles out. "I'm fine with people knowing as long as you trust them. I trust your judgment and know you won't do anything stupid."

And you mentally smack yourself for what you are about to say now. Taehyung just admitted to trusting your judgment, but one of your best friends - ex-best friend - stabbed you in the back with this piece of information. Making you feel utterly stupid.

"W-well Tae… the thing is…."

You look everywhere but at the phone. Not wanting to see Taehyung's reaction when you tell him what happened.

"What's wrong?"

"I-" You swallow the lump in your throat. "Mara was with Ky and me when I found out about you, and I kinda just found out something about her today…."

You feel your vision blur a little, feeling tears start to form in your eyes from the loss of your friend.

"Y/n… are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." But your tears contradict your words. Ky pulls by your waist closer to her. Trying to give you comfort while you cry for the second time today. You wipe the tears as soon as they fall, but Taehyung doesn't miss them.

Taehyung watches you wide-eyed, and his smile is now completely gone. Replaced with a frown and not liking watching you cry.

"It doesn't seem like your fine, Y/n. What happened?"

Ky whispers in your ear, "Do you want me to tell him?" But you shake your head. You're a big girl, and you've let Kwang stop you from saying and doing a lot of things in the past. One thing you'll never let him have power over you is telling the truth and telling it to Taehyung right now.

"Mara told Kwang about us, and now me and h-her… She and I aren't friends anymore. I thought I should tell you because you know about Kwang… and I don't know what he'll do about this information."

You watch Taehyung's eyes go wide, and you're hoping he's not mad at you for doing literally the opposite of what he just said. You trusted Mara as much as you trusted Ky, before today at least. You never expected this to happen, and you're preying on the inside right now that it doesn't ruin everything you just built with Taehyung.

"Why would she tell him?" You hear Taehyung's voice get more profound, and for the first time, you don't like the sound of it.

"Apparently, they've been dating for three months behind my back. It's like Mara completely forgot everything he's done… and now he knows about us, and I’m kinda scared about what exactly he will do about it."

Your voice breaks as you speak. Hating your own words and how true they are. You look away from the camera in shame. Even more afraid now to know Taehyung's reaction.

Out of everything that's happened, you feel like this can be his excuse to leave you. His career is too important to have someone like you, an average girl and her stupid problems, mess it up. Even if nothing has happened yet, it's now a possibility that something will.

"Y/n, look at me." You do. "I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you over something like this. It's just… you told me about Kwang. Fucking hate the bastard, by the way, but this is… this is serious. I can't have the public knowing about us. Definitely not yet, anyway."

You nod your head in understanding. Feeling tears form in your eyes for new reasons now.

"I understand. And I u-understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore-"

"Absolutely not!" You jump at his outburst. "Y/n, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we just need to be more careful. I know we're on a break if that's even still happening, but I still want to meet you and have you in my life. I don't think you realize just how important you are to my life now," Taehyung chuckles when he finished speaking, but it's a sober one. Like there was nothing funny about what he said, but he can't even believe how valid his words are.

And you can't believe them either. It's crazy how in sync you and Taehyung are with the way you feel for each other. How both of you never have to worry about betrayal or using the other for advantages.

Yes, you felt at one point that Taehyung was using you like Kwang did in the past. But that was because Mara got in your head. And Taehyung thought at one point he couldn't trust you, but that's because he's an idol and has been dealt a lousy hand in the past. It was also when you first started talking all those months ago.

Now, in the present, you look at Taehyung and know… You know you can trust each other. You know you both are in this for the long run. You know this isn't just something to pass the time or even a relationship that stays with no label.

This relationship is going to be something one day. That the second you meet, it will be something more without question. That the second you look into each other's eyes in person for the first time, you'll both know.

You'll both know you love each other until the bitter end… and you think you’re feeling that love right now. Falling for Taehyung slowly all this time, but you know now.

You’re in love with Kim Taehyung, and you don't want to be without him anymore.

"I want to meet you… in person."

CH 11

Ending Notes: That’s right bitches! They’re finally going to meet each other in the next chapter! OMG I’m so excited! I’m the one writing it, and I’m excited XD

Sorry it took such a long time, but I did say it was a slow burn. I just took the slow burn tag to the extended limits lmaoooo

There will still be drama, and all that good stuff in future chapters, but we finally got to the point in their relationship to meet. And reader loves Taehyung now! How fucking cute!

But does Taehyung feel the same….? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#bts #bts v #Kim Taehyung #Kim Taehyung x reader #Kim taehyung x Fem!reader #V x Reader #V x Fem!Reader #emotional rollercoaster #past toxic relationships #penpals #penpals chapter 10 #chapter 10 #reader is in love #BTS romance #romance #slow burn

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insfiringyou · 3 years

Text

BTS - Going Solo (Part Two) - Jimin x Ara

Contains: Angst. *Potential trigger warning for mentions of depression/mental illness*

Set a week following ‘Going Solo Part One’, Ara returns home and has to face the reality of how she has been feeling lately.

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook & our full masterlist of fanart and fanfictions can be found here

If you wish to follow all member’s storylines in chronological order from the beginning, you can find them listed here.

Content below the cut

Dawn was breaking outside of the window as Ara flew through the clouds; eyeing clusters of towns and cities below as the plane changed altitude. She held her phone loosely in her hands, glimpsing down at the single word typed out in the notes app, knowing she wouldn’t be able to finish the sentence.

Jimin…

Her ears were popping and her head hurt; a mixture of dehydration, lack of sleep and the changing pressure inside the cabin and she lowered her device with a sigh, tucking it neatly in her handbag as she shifted in the chair. She doubted she would be able to get any sleep before the plane landed, but it was worth a try. Her manager had reminded her to pack her padded pillow and she slipped it around her neck before reaching for her lavender-scented eye mask, blocking out the dim light and closing her eyes.

***

Jimin…

His name rang around her head and she fought the urge to take out her phone again. She knew what the unfinished message said; she hadn’t been able to get any further than that one word, despite the hours she had tried typing it out. The duvet was soft beneath her backside and she eyed her unpacked suitcase on the floor. One wheel was coming off and she would have to get a new one soon. She wondered if the suitcase was a metaphor for her life and stifled back a laugh, clutching her hands to her face when she realised it sounded more like a sob. She couldn’t cry though...she had already tried. Staring at the plain, white wall in her bedroom, she had spent the past half hour urging the tears to come; wanting to feel something, but the most she could manage was a half-strangled moan; the catharsis she so desperately needed never coming. Her eyes were bone dry and a little sore.

She twisted to glance at the clock above the bed and realised she wouldn’t be able to keep herself awake long enough to wait for him to come home. He was at the studio with Jungkook, working on a duet for the younger member’s new album and was bound to lose track of the time; it was inevitable. Ara remembered early in their relationship one time she had spent an afternoon cooking for him, reading the recipe carefully from an old book she had picked up second hand and measuring the ingredients in meticulously accurate amounts. It had come out a little burnt, but she felt proud for having made something for someone else. He had been late home that night and the dinner had gone cold. She hadn’t blamed him; he was still making music with the group back then and the younger members had invited him back to their shared apartment to play video games after dance practice. She had told him her intentions that morning but, it turned out he had either forgotten or didn’t quite believe her when she said she would cook for them both. He had always underestimated her back then but who could blame him? She underestimated herself too.

Ara realised she had laid down at some point during the past ten minutes but couldn’t remember doing it. The bed suddenly felt very big and very warm, the blankets thick and cosy and she allowed herself to close her eyes, just for a moment or two…

***

Ara grunted at the sound of the door opening on its hinges and opened her eyes. The room took a few moments to come into focus and, with some effort, she rolled onto her side towards the sound. Jimin’s head was poking around the side of the doorframe and she gave another tired grunt.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” He whispered, a shy grin fixed on his face.

She rubbed her eyes, watching as he creeped towards her, trying to be quiet despite her having already woken. He was holding a shoebox; a pink ribbon tied across the centre, and he placed it on the floor carefully. “What time is it?” She yawned.

“Just gone eight. I’m sorry it took me so long.” When he reached the edge of the bed, he kneeled onto the sheets, crawling across to where she was laying and joining her side. He smiled sweetly, running his fingers through the tips of her hair. “I like the purple.”

She gave another grunt in response, clearing her throat. “I thought you liked the pink?” Her voice was still gruff from sleep and she suspected her hair was just as messy, but he kissed her anyway, pecking her cheek gently.

“I like both.” He pulled away to look at her, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. “I like you.”

“You too.” She murmured.

“Did you have a long journey?” He asked, running a hand along her back until he reached her hip which he held steady.

She nodded against the sheets. “I had to be up at four.”

“In the morning?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed. “We had a lot of luggage to check in.”

He shifted a little against the duvet until his knees touched hers. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” She mumbled, still feeling tired and achy from the journey.

“Do you want to see what I bought you?” He asked hopefully. She looked past his shoulders towards the edge of the bedroom where she could just make out the box.

“Shoes?” She guessed, eyes following as he turned around and slid gracefully off the bed, picking up the package and bringing it to her. She made an effort to sit up a little as he handed it to her.

Jimin grinned widely, his excitement obvious. “Open it.”

She hesitated before tugging on the ribbon. It came apart easily and she lifted the white lid carefully off the box, lightly fingering through the tissue paper to reveal the present. The shoes matched the ribbon and were just as delicate looking; the satin fabric shimmered in the light. She stared at them, as though transfixed.

“Do you like them?”

She looked up at him, head still groggy from her extended nap. Her headache hadn’t yet subsided completely and it took a moment to realise he had asked a question. “Why?” She frowned, not fully understanding what he had asked.

He shrugged easily. “I thought they’d look nice on you.”

She folded the tissue back over the heels, covering them once more before she put on the lid. “Thank you.” She belatedly replied. “I didn’t bring you anything.”

Jimin took the box from her and gently lowered it to the foot of the bed before joining her when she leaned back against the pillow. “That’s not true…” He shook his head, reaching forward to hold her body against him. He was silent for a few moments, stroking her hip, before he whispered. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes.” She replied, equally quiet.

“Were you lonely?” He kept his voice low as he appreciated her features; eyes drifting across her nose and lips and cheeks.

She nodded. “It was hard.”

Jimin’s heart seemed to sink at her words and he stroked her arm lovingly, moving along her soft, pale skin until he reached her shoulder where the edge of her white camisole shielded the rest from view. “I missed you a lot.” He admitted, moving forward to kiss her forehead. Her skin was warm to the touch and he wondered if she might be getting a fever. He pulled away lightly, observing the way her eyelids seemed too heavy for their sockets.

“I know.” She mumbled understandably, closing her eyes.

He gave a soft chuckle, rubbing her shoulder with his fingertips. “You really need some sleep don’t you?”

She nodded against the pillow. “Sleep would be nice.”

He spoke no more, watching her expression as she fell deeper and deeper into sleep, her chest rising and falling gently until it was barely moving at all. Jimin held her carefully, not wanting to leave her side but knowing it was too early for him to join her. Still, he remained, listening to the calming sounds of her gentle breathing along with the steady, lulling tick of the clock above the bed.

***

Jimin had finally fallen asleep some time after ten and judging by the deep, red grooves which lined his forearms, he must have slept deeply. The blinds had been left open a little and a stark, white early morning light filled the room, indicating he had managed a decent few hours. He wondered if the good night was thanks to Ara’s presence. The past few weeks he had found himself tossing and turning incessantly, having to get up once or twice to grab himself a snack or watch a little T.V while he wondered what she was doing; whether the time zones matched up or if she was just getting up, ready to make her daily appearance on a foreign talk show or driving to some arena for rehearsals. It took him a moment to realise she was not beside him, though an indent remained on the pillow. He looked around the room, noticing a few of the drawers on the far side had been left open; a few of his sweatshirts sticking out from the edge. Slowly, he sat up, blinking a few times as he observed the wardrobe at the foot of the bed was likewise opened wide. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought it had been fuller the last time he had checked. A few of her dresses remained, suspended on coat hangers, but there were a good few missing. Quickly, and with a fair amount of panic, he shuffled out of bed, pulling open the bedroom door and walking down the small hallway into the kitchen.

“Ara?” He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her seated at the kitchen table, a steaming mug of tea clutched between her hands. She was staring straight ahead, though looked up at the sound of his voice. He only just noticed the dark bags beneath her eyes, now she was bare faced. His eyes flickered towards the sink where her suitcase was tucked, flush against the cupboards. He frowned. “Where are you going?”

Ara looked away, voice empty. “Back on tour.”

He opened his mouth to respond before closing it, his chest sinking heavily at the realisation she wasn’t making any sense. He took a step closer to the table, dread coursing through his veins. She had been tired the night before, unusually so, but had seemed herself at least. He wondered what new medication the doctors had put her on and whether it was somehow messing with her head. “Are you okay?” He slowly asked, bending down to face her.

She sighed. “Not really.”

His forehead wrinkled heavily. “Have I done something wrong?”

She turned to look at him, their faces at equal heights and now he could see how much older she suddenly looked. When she didn’t reply, he continued, failing to hide his confusion.

“You just got back. Your contract is over.”

She shook her head solemnly. “No it isn’t.”

His heart sank. “What do you mean?” He whispered.

“I signed a new one.”

Her voice was calm and Jimin realised she was telling the truth, though he couldn’t quite process what was happening. “When?” He asked, a little higher than expected.

“Last week.” She murmured. “When I was in Tokyo.”

He looked her in the eye, forcing himself to meet her gaze despite the unsteadiness he felt in his limbs as he crouched beside her. “For how long?”

“Seven years.”

He shook his head in disbelief, hardly able to comprehend what he was hearing. There was no emotion in her voice; no sense of joy or excitement that would signal what she was telling him was good news. He found himself reaching for her hand, desperate to hold onto something that would keep him steady. Her fingers were cold against his; thin and delicate in his loose grasp. “I didn’t think that was what you wanted.” He eventually said, only just managing to get the words out.

She was looking at their hands, eyes fixed on the space where they connected, but she turned away, gazing out of the window at the blank, grey sky. “I don’t know what I want…” She admitted, turning back when he let go of her to stand back up; her eyes followed him and he saw them glisten in the stark light. “It’s easier this way.”

“What about moving house?” He asked, the hurt in his voice obvious. “You’ll hardly be at home.”

She frowned below her blonde bangs. “I’m not sure I want to move house.”

He shook his head, trying to stay calm. “You could have just said.” He shrugged, keeping his voice low. “Instead of signing a new contract.”

She was silent for a moment, taking a few deep breaths while Jimin waited for her to respond.

“I’m not sure I want to move house…” She spoke slowly, only realising as she said it that it was true. “Because I’m not sure if I want to be with you anymore.” Her own admission shocked her into silence though she felt no sense of relief as Jimin stared at her, silent for a long time before his lip trembled.

“Are you serious?”

Ara nodded slowly. “I’ve felt like this for a while…” She confessed. “But I couldn’t do it before.”

His eyes dropped to the floor, though his voice came out high-pitched and squeaky. “What have I done?”

The sight of him filled her with sadness and for the first time that morning she felt her emotions with clarity. It took her a moment to work out how to respond and when she did, he looked at her with tears in his eyes.

“It wouldn’t be fair on you...” She murmured, her own voice breaking. “When I’m not sure how I feel.”

His eyes darted back to the suitcase, a low whimper escaping his lips. “So you’re leaving me?”

She nodded, her emotions bubbling to the surface. She held back a sob, needing to say it clearly. “I think I have to.” Once the words left her lips, she finally let go. It was like a dam had broken inside her; one which had been in place for so long, and she cried openly, unable to hold it back any longer. Jimin moved forward, wrapping her in his arms as she clung to him, standing up to press herself against his body and hooking her arms around his neck.

“I love you…” He mouthed against her hair and she let out a sob, her tears dampening the crook of his neck as he pleaded with her. “You don’t have to leave.”

She shook her head against him, words thick with tears. “I do…I do!”

“I don’t want you to go.” His voice broke and she held him closer, squeezing his body.

“Don’t cry Jimin.” She whispered. “Please…”

He held her steady by the waist as he moved away, trying to look at her. “When will you be back?”

She shook her head again, looking away. “I’m not sure.” Her hands moved to her face, trying to cover it from view but he took them gently in his own.

“I can wait for you…” He moved with her as she wriggled in his grasp and held her face steady, thumb brushing her cheekbones, trying to get her to look at him. “I can wait for you!” He repeated, locking eyes with her. Her own were impossibly wide, glistening with tears, but she nodded against his palms. “Don’t give up on us Ara.” He whispered.

Her mouth quivered, opening and closing. “I need to think about this.” She muttered.

“I don’t care how long it takes.” He caressed her cheekbones again, wiping her tears. They were both trembling and she held him tighter, hands clasping behind his neck.

“And if I meet someone else?” She asked, voice wobbling at the thought.

He shook his head, continuing to hold her steady. “Do what you feel is right…” His lips moved to her wet cheek and he kissed it lovingly, lingering there while her body shook against him. Slowly, he moved to the corner of her mouth and she tilted her head, pressing her lips to his. Their mouths opened softly, tears merging as they held each other for a few moments, their noses brushing as they kissed. Slowly, they moved away in unison and she ran her lips across his smooth cheek before touching them to his helix, mouthing against his skin.

“Don’t be mad at me.” She pleaded.

“How could I be mad at you?” He murmured against her, slowly pulling away. When she looked at him, he was smiling, though his cheeks glistened with tears; both his and her own. He gave a soft, breathy laugh. “You’re the love of my life Ara.” He admitted.

Ara nodded dumbly, mouth open, feeling her eyes sting. “There’s never been anyone else…” She agreed, realising she was crying again when she tasted the hot, salty liquid on her tongue, though she didn’t try to hide it this time.

He let out a long sigh, allowing her a bit of space as he took a step back. “If I call you, will you answer?”

She hesitated, before nodding. “I’ll try.”

He looked up from across the small space, speaking steadily, needing her to understand what he was saying. “I want to know you’re safe.” He held her gaze. “Promise me you’ll talk to someone.”

“I have a meeting every month.” She explained.

“Sooner!” He pleaded, reaching out and taking both her hands in his, the urgency in his voice obvious. “Promise me you’ll see them sooner if you’re feeling blue again.”

Her eyebrows were knitted together but she nodded in agreement. “I will…” She gave his hands a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “Do you have anyone too?”

“Don’t worry about me.” He dismissed, looking at the space where they were still connected; her small, fragile-looking hands knitted through his. “Please get better…” He whispered, squeezing her lightly in response.

“I’ll try.” She replied quietly, allowing him to let go as she bent down to collect her suitcase from the floor.

“You can always come home.” His voice came from behind her and she looked back at him. “If it gets too much for you…” He said. “I’ll be here.”

She nodded, understanding and knowing it was true.

“Where will you go?” He asked gently.

Ara wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, collecting herself. “To see my dad. I have meetings later this week...about my contract and the tour.”

“Does he know you’re travelling to Ulsan? Is he expecting you?” Jimin asked, wanting to make sure she had a plan.

She shook her head lightly. “No.” She admitted. “But he’ll want to see me. My brother too…it’s been two years.”

Jimin nodded, gesturing towards the red case. “Let me drive you to the station.” He offered.

She thought for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

He walked around the edge of the table before she could protest and scooped down to pull up the extendable handle of the case. She followed his lead into the hallway, where he left the luggage on the welcome mat by the front door. The thick rug was pink and decorated with daisies; Ara had chosen it during a trip to a shopping mall shortly before her audition and it had sat there ever since, a reminder of the life she had led before. She glanced at it as Jimin edged past her, into the bedroom at the end of the hall. He came out a moment later, the shoe box he had gifted her tucked under his arm. Ara remained silent, watching as he placed it on top of the suitcase, balanced steadily between his body and the handle, before he opened the front door.

***

Thank you for reading. To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook

& Our full masterlist of fics and original art can be found here

& Our masterlist of preferences/most likely to/quizzes and fun stuff is here

You can support us by buying admins a coffee here (if you wish). :)

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thetypedwriter · 3 years

Text

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So.

This is a first.

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc.

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived).

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform.

The reason for this is myriad.

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours.

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages.

2,000 pages.

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it.

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth.

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose.

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review.

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying).

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content.

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction.

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness.

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom.

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes.

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling.

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same.

I never left.

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole.

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant.

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen.

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible).

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds.

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though.

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation.

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes.

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting.

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not?

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts.

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was.

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about.

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins.

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish.

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins.

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons.

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly.

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it.

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done.

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person.

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills.

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires.

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly.

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary.

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s.

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them.

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left.

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it.

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in.

100 chapters out of 188.

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time.

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it.

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there.

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic.

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones.

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it.

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place.

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements.

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible.

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some.

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it.

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved.

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all.

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good.

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through.

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child.

Urgh.

I just can’t.

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued.

I truly, truly get that.

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much.

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author.

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place.

Okay.

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay.

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic.

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin.

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree.

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends.

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative.

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made.

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon.

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is.

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence

#all the young dudes #wolfstar #Harry Potter #fanfiction #harry potter fanfic rec #marauders #book review #Book Recommendations #fanfiction recs #fanfiction review #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fanart

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tbtssstuff · 4 years

Text

International Playboy || jjk

Summary: You meet BTS International Playboy and he just rocks your world.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Oral (m receiving), public sex, unprotected sex, fingering, Jungkook end up being a sweetie because I couldn’t resist

Masterlist

-TJ/ TacoAdmin 🌮

AN: Here it is! Happy birthday JK! Love you man 💜 Also thank you guys so much for 500 followers! I love you all too 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 Note most of this they will be speaking in English since it’s in America

You and your friends decided it was a good idea to go to a club after a 3 hour long BTS concert. All of you were still feeling the concert buzz and none of you were ready to go back home yet, plus this was one of the lesser known clubs in Atlanta and it was right by the arena, so you thought why not? You didn’t even go home to change into club clothes, you didn’t feel the need to. Your BTS concert outfit was cute enough and you just wanted to party some more.

The club was full of people, but even though it was a lot less busy than any other clubs. You knew that because you could actually walk around and only get bumped into a couple times. Your friend pulled all of you over to the bar and ordered the first round of the night.

“To BTS.” She held up her shot, toasting the amazing night you all had.

“To Y/n!” Another of your friends shouts.

“Me? Why me?”

“Not only did you get us floor tickets to this concert, but you also got eye fucked by the one, the only, Jeon Jungkook! Girl you were living the fanfiction dream!”

You roll your eyes. “He wasn’t eye fucking me. I thought we established that.”

“Yeah we thought so too, but then you started dancing and I swear he almost tripped.”

You laugh at your friends and slammed back your shot. While it would be nice if what they were saying was true (well it did look like he noticed you during the concert, but he could have been looking at a number of things), you knew that it was just a fangirl’s imagination.

Jungkook and the rest of the group entered from a private entrance to the club. Jimin had convinced them all to go out before heading back to the hotel. ‘To loosen up.’ He had said, but Jungkook knew he wanted to get in a good fuck before the night was though and honestly Jungkook was going to join him.

Not in bed, but in finding someone to go back with him. He was in America and here he was THE international playboy, not the shy Jungkook back at home.

Jungkook scanned the sea of bodies before his eyes landed on you and your friends at the bar. You were wearing the same dark green deep V neck tank top and black shorts that he saw you in at the concert. He licked his lips, eyeing your entire being, and deciding that it was going to be you he was taking back to the hotel. Hell to the bathroom stall if he couldn’t wait.

Jungkook had been having all kinds of thoughts about you since he saw you in the crowd. He wondered what you would look like panting and moaning below him as he fucked you hard. Even though Jungkook didn’t know your name, you had such a strong hold over him. The pull was just undeniable, so it was just his luck that you were here.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung spoke up from beside him. “What are you looking at?”

“Ah.” He nods. “The girl from the concert is here too. Maybe I should go talk to her.”

Jungkook growled low in his throat as if to say ‘try it I fucking dare you.’

Taehyung wasn’t the type to steal a member’s conquest for the night or even cock block them, but he also liked to poke the bear and see how far he can go before getting his head bit off.

Taehyung just held up his hands and snickered as he watched his friend stalk into the crowd of people.

You were lost in the music, swaying your hips to the beat. You didn’t know where your friends had gone, but honestly you didn’t care at the moment. If things ended badly and they had left you, you could at least call an Uber.

You open your eyes for a second and are met with a surprising site. Jeon Jungkook was dancing close by and when you opened your eyes completely, you could see his eyes traveling down your body, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. As surprised as you were, you were equally turned on by the thought of him actually checking you out. Turns out it wasn’t a fangirl’s imagination after all.

You wink at him before turning around and going back to dancing. Rihanna’s Rude Boy was coming through the speakers and you went all out. Hands starting at your waist, sliding up your body and above your head, hips swaying.

You were trying to bait Jungkook over and when you felt a large hand settle on your waist, you knew you succeeded. You peeked back for a second to see if it was actually Jungkook and not some creep, smirking when you met Jungkook’s lust glazed eyes.

Jungkook grips your waist and pulls you back to meet his chest, you could feel his already hardening erection poking you. You lean your head to the side, purposefully moving your hair to expose your unmarked neck to him, and look up at his face - smirk never leaving your face.

“Well if it isn’t Jungkook.”

It took Jungkook 2.5 to figure out what you were saying, but since he had been studying English it was a lot easier than it had ever been before.

“You remember me.”

“How could I not?” You scoff. “I’m more surprised that you remember me.”

Jungkook hums instead of giving you a real response. You were going to ask him again, but you gasp as Jungkook starts kissing your neck and grinding his hips into you. You shiver at his touch.

“Jungkook.” You moan.

“I remember you from the concert.” Jungkook whispers in your ear, “You looked so sexy and then you started dancing. I swear you were doing it on purpose.”

You shake your head, whimpering when he licks the shell of your ear. “I I wasn’t.”

Jungkook smirked at your stutter, happy that he was having the same effect on you that you had on him. Jungkook spun you around and put your arms around his neck then placing both hands on your ass, cupping and squeezing your cheeks.

“You weren’t?” Jungkook challenged.

You look up at him as sweetly as you possibly could, because honestly you weren’t trying to seduce him. You just wanted to enjoy your concert. “I promise.”

Jungkook chuckles and pulls you closer to him, even though you didn’t think that was physically possible, leaning down to your height. His eyes glance from your eyes to your lips and you know what he wants.

And you give it to him.

Closing your eyes, you meet Jungkook halfway, crashing your lips to him. You tug at the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling him groan against your lips.

Jungkook runs his tongue along your bottom lip, begging you to let him in, and you open your mouth. His tongue dives in, messaging yours as the two of you fight for dominance, that Jungkook easily won.

You felt lightheaded from the kiss, from the lack of oxygen and from how good of a kisser Jungkook was. You pull away to try and catch your breath and smile as you watch Jungkook follow your lips.

“Where to?”

Jungkook smirked. He knew that both of you wanted the same thing and with you asking where just the push he needed. Quickly Jungkook takes your arm and whisks you out the back door of the club and into the alleyway.

He was searching for the car that brought them, your lips attached to his neck, but he couldn’t find it anywhere. Jungkook didn’t want to call an Uber because then that would risk the tabloids catching him, but at the same time fucking you anywhere would garner that same risk.

“Two places. Here in the alley or back in the bathroom. I can’t find the car.”

You pull him down to meet your lips, turning him around to push him against the side of the building. “Here is fine.”

Jungkook smiles at your eagerness and chooses the alley. You kiss down his neck, hand palming him through his jeans. Jungkook moans.

Quickly you drop to your knees in front of him and undo his pants, tugging them and his boxers down in one go. Jungkook’s cock springs free. You stare wide-eyed at it, mouth watering at the thought of it inside of you.

You knew Jungkook was big, but never in your life did you expect to see him this close. You grip the base of his cock and light lick the tip, the salty taste of his precum on your tongue. Jungkook groaned above you and it only encouraged you.

You suck the tip before taking it into your mouth, lowering your head until you couldn’t take more of him. Starting at an agonizing slow pace, you bob your head on his cock, your hand stroking what you couldn’t fit.

Jungkook threads his fingers through your hair, gripping the strands and tugging them. You moan around his cock and Jungkook moans as well, loving the vibration. You suck and bob your head faster, Jungkook’s grip on your hair tightens as he throws his head back, moaning into the night sky.

He knew he was getting close, but he didn’t want to stop you. Your mouth was so warm and wet around him, he could only imagine what your pussy was like. Before he could blow his load in your mouth, Jungkook tugs your head off his cock and you whine.

“I know baby girl, but it was just too good. I wanna come in that tight cunt of yours.”

You shiver at his words. You wanted that as well, just sucking him off had made you soaking wet and ready for his cock.

Jungkook helps you off your knees, only to flip your position so that you were pressed against the wall. Jungkook fiddles with the button on your shorts, sticking his hands past your panties once he gained access. You cry out as his fingers stroke your slit.

“So wet.” Jungkook coos. “Just by sucking me off? What a slut you are.”

You moan, letting your head fall forward as Jungkook inserts his fingers into your pussy and thrusts fast. “God! Please Jungkook!”

Jungkook smirks and removes his fingers, your slick coating his fingers. As you wiggled your way out of your shorts and panties, Jungkook pumps his cock, spreading your wetness all over him.

You brace both hands on the wall and stick your ass out for Jungkook to see. Jungkook bites his lip, one hand on your hip and the other lining himself at your entrance. You push yourself back, letting just the tip slip in, whining.

Jungkook pushes in slowly until he is all the way in. You moan at the stretch, fingers gripping the wall for dear life. He felt so good inside of you, pushing your walls past their limits, but you wanted him to move. You wanted him to fuck you into oblivion.

Gripping your hip, Jungkook began to pull his cock out before thrusting in all at once. You cry out as Jungkook continues to do that over and over, his nails digging into your flesh. You didn’t even care that you both were outside and anyone could walk by. All you could think was Jungkook Jungkook Jungkook.

“Fuck.” Jungkook curses under his breath, drilling into you harder. He knew he was close, but he wanted you to come first. Slipping his hand down to your pussy, Jungkook rubs your clit matching his thrusts.

A moan rips out of your throat as you cum hard around his cock, your walls tightening around him, making it a little hard to move, but Jungkook just helps you through your orgasm. Jungkook thrusts a few more times before he follows your lead, painting your insides white.

Both of you don’t move, just panting and trying to come down from wat must have been the best sex of your life. Jungkook pulls out of you, chuckling as you whine at the loss of him. He was about to say something, but the words caught in his throat as he watched his cum drip down your legs.

“Oh shit, sorry I don’t have anything to clean that with.”

You shake your head and pull your panties and shorts back up. “It’s okay. I can take care of it when I get home and besides I’m on the pill.”

Jungkook thinks about it for a minute before he pulls out his cell phone. “I’ll call for a ride back to my hotel, why don’t you join me?”

“Why didn’t you call it before?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I was thinking with my dick, not my head.”

You laugh as he dials up a number on his phone and starts talking to someone on the other end in Korean. You honestly thought he was going to leave you there to fend for yourself. Even though he was labeled an international playboy, Jeon Jungkook was always a nice guy first and foremost.

Tag list: @ladyartemesia

#jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook smut #bts smut #bts x reader #bts x reader smut #international playboy #tacoadmin #tbtsstuff

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lo1k-diamonds · 3 months

Text

Far Cry 🚀 Chapter 48

Her hand made its way to her core, dipping the digits in his cum to play with it for him and he lost it. He grabbed her wrist away and sank his own fingers instead, pressing inside the tight velvety walls. She instantly whined and sucked in a breath, hips jumping despite her best efforts to stay still, and he just stared in awe. Not only was pushing his cum back inside her one of the hottest things he had ever seen and done in his life, but the way she reacted was incinerating him. He just came, part of him was chill and relaxed after a good fuck, but another wanted to get hard and fuck it inside her all the same. Make her his again and again until there would be no shadow of a doubt, no takebacks, no possibility of ever losing her.

#jeon jungkook #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts smut #bangtan sonyeondan #bts #far cry #update #finished a new chapter #bts fanfiction far cry #ao3 fanfic #kpop smut #writing wip #jungkook smut

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fizzydrink698 · 3 years

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fic writer tag! ❤️

@aliceu thank you so much for the tag, but also you’ve exposed me so bad, oh my god. i can’t believe i’m outing my old teenage self’s fanfic like this.

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

ha. ok.

published: harry potter, victorious, percy jackson, one direction, wrestling (wwe), descendants.

unpublished: stranger things, black sails, far cry 5, game of thrones, house of anubis, the riot club, the hunger games, labyrinth, the mortal instruments, mansfield park, twilight, pokémon, jem and the holograms. and that’s just the files i can access. pre-2016? no clue, those are lost to dead laptops.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

stray kids and bts are the ones currently published. I also have ateez, nct/wayv, itzy and mamamoo fics in the process of writing 👀

3. how long have you been writing?

a long time. i have very vivid memories of being about 7-8 and using my families ancient desktop computer (like, think a huge BOX of a monitor) to write stories. i also used to scrawl story ideas on the cardboard backing of colouring books, on scrap bits of paper. i think the first fanfiction i wrote was secret of moonacre fanfiction when i was in year 4 - so i was about 9? but yeah, at least 13-14 years. two-thirds of my life 👀

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

tumblr and ao3 currently. i do also still have my fanfiction(dot)net profile open and public with all my old stuff still online. we’re talking old 2011 harry potter oc fanfiction. it’s a cute little time capsule. i also had a onedirectionfanfiction(dot)com profile back in 2014 i posted on before the site died.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

romance! fluffy, warm romance. i guess specifically alternate-universe romantic comedy?

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i bullet-point plan = specifically i write out how the main couple get together, the twists in relationship, the general push and pull. and a general overview of the plot.

but i always end up changing things when i write - the characters always have a different feel when i write, so decisions i’ve planned for them to make now seem contrived, and i end up veering off script a little. that’s also the stage i add in sub-plots, foreshadowing, all that. so...both? 50/50?

7. one-shot or multi-chapter?

i used to be a big multi-chapter girl. everything was a big grand epic in my head. but by the time i got to tumblr, i started writing oneshots more and now it’s usually “i get an idea for a oneshot premise, i plan it out and either it grows and expands and becomes a multi-chapter or it just stays a really long oneshot”

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

depends on how often it’s updated. for multi-chapter, about 5-7k for weekly/fortnightly updates. 750-1k for daily updates. as long as you want for non-regular updates 😊

9. what is your longest published story?

ahhh ok. ok. there is a 77k wwe fanfic on my ffn account that i updated between 2016-18. however, there’s an extra two and a half unedited chapters on my desktop that i never posted - which brings the grand total of words to 84k.

for tumblr/ao3, of course it’s instinct. 53.4k of pure self-indulgence 🥰

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

the obvious answer is instinct 😂 but i really liked working on solace, way back when. and hypothesis was really therapeutic, just bc it’s so warm and strangely comforting. oh, and consort was very fun to try out a different style of writing

11. favorite request you’ve written and why?

ooh, ok the only requests i’ve written for are way back in my descendants days. probably the request for the first part of “if your heart’s still open”. that series has a big place in my lil heart.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

bisexual main characters, friend groups that roast each other with affection, side character ship tease, romantic epiphanies.

13. current number of wips?

HA so many. only counting the wips with more than 250 words written? 18. wips over 1k? 9.

the longest wip is currently over 16k. it probably won’t ever see the light of day - it’s a bts fic i started over a year ago and it already feels kinda immature. but we’ll see 🤷‍♀️

i actually got curious and added the word-counts all together. i currently have 37,116 words of unfinished kpop fic.

14. three things you have noticed about your writing?

the emphasis is almost always on dialogue and expressions/body language of characters - very little on scenery

short, sharp, snappy sentences to draw attention in.

endings are almost always cliffhangers - but the nice ones, i guess. the couple always gets together first.

15. a quote you like from a published story?

i’m a total sap, so let’s go for the super soft ones:

His hand slips down from your wrist, taking your hand and squeezing it gently. He smiles up at you, calm, confident.

“Please can you kiss me again?” Changbin asks, softly. - hypothesis

When you open your eyes, Chan is staring at you with just…the softest look, and it takes your breath away. There’s not a single ounce of caution in his eyes, no reluctance, no fear.

And your heart just melts. - instinct 07

16. a quote from an unpublished story?

here’s two because why not:

“Yeah. All through high school, it was me, Mark and Donghyuck. We were, like, our own little trio.”

“Really? That’s…honestly, that’s kind of bizarre to think about.”

Bizarre.

You wonder how she’d react if she knew the whole truth – if she knew about that last year of high school, when Mark had graduated and left the two of you behind.

and for the second, well...some of you might be able to guess which this one is from 😈😈:

“We’re open to sharing.”

Changbin winces at his packmate’s choice of words, and the rest soon follow when they see the thunderous expression on your face.

“Sharing?!”

17. space for you to say something to your readers~~

i’ve got a shitload of words to write and i promise i’m working as hard as i can on them 😂 i’m so beyond happy to hear that you guys are enjoying my stuff, and i hope you’ll continue to enjoy my future writing. thank you!

#tag games #i really exposed my dark past here #enjoy my suffering #also there's a lil touch 2 electric boogaloo quote in here if you're curious

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 3 years

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madeline miller’s ‘the song of achilles’

Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus (1855) by Nikolai Ge

What I loved about The Song of Achilles: this and this and this.

My interest in classics began circa 2005, with Disney’s animated series based off of their rendition of Hercules. Fast forward to several years later, to when I stumbled across one of my grandad’s books; several of my rose-tinted childhood memories would be tainted by the knowledge that the actual Heracles had very little in common with Disney’s adaptation of him.

The historical period that I was really invested in for most of my preteen and early teenage years were the Dark Ages, and Medieval Europe in general; so my Greek mythology phase was short-lived, and my knowledge of it is… well, I know Dionysus fucked himself with a wooden dildo to fulfil a promise he made, and that he’s perhaps the only decent bloke up there on Olympus (I’d tell Zeus to go fuck himself but he’d probably go through with it), and also that Dionysus is BTS’s best song since Boy Meets Evil, and that Stray Kids did a bangin’ cover of it late last year.

In other words: vague and superficial.

But I know enough to tell you that Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles is one of the best books I’ve ever read, hands down.

The story of Achilles and Patroclus and the Trojan War is pretty common knowledge, I’ll warrant, but just in case: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Retelling a story almost everyone knows isn’t easy; you’ve got the plot down and how to get there, but you’ve got to write it in a way that doesn’t read like a middle school book report you scrapped together a night before the assignment was due (… not that I know what that’s like, haha). And Miller does an excellent job of it; her diction? Brilliant. Her prose? Incredible. Her characterizations? Completely not ever been done before.

The Song of Achilles is told in Patroclus’s first-person point of view; most of it is about his early years with Achilles; Patroclus’s banishment to Phthia, meeting Achilles, befriending Achilles, and then both of them being tutored by Chiron (a far cry from Disney’s funny little goat man). The Trojan War takes up less of the book than I thought it would, at first (which, of course, I’m infinitely grateful for- since we all know how THAT ends) (#RIP).

Which brings me to one of the biggest questions I had up to the last few chapters before the end of the book: how will the story go on after Patroclus dies, since it’s in the first person? (The first-person POV threw me off at first; it’s been a while outside of contemporary YA that I’ve read anything in that POV, and it was a bit jarring- but the further I read, I realized that it was the best option for the book; it gave the story a depth, a level of emotion you couldn’t’ve achieved in the third person.)

And call me a masochist, but Patroclus’s death and the aftermath ended up being my favorite parts of the book. I’ve read stories that have given me actual, physical pain (one of my top two Harry Potter ships is Wolfstar, go figure), but this is the first time I’ve actually read something that made me cry (despite the numerous Ao3 comments I’ve left that are variants of ‘omg I’m crying’). Like, actual, physical tears welling up in my eyes.

There’s this particular scene, in the ninth chapter, where Chiron is telling Patroclus and Achilles about Heracles, and how he, unlike Disney’s well-intentioned, bumbling himbo, goes insane and kills his family. Achilles, my sweet summer child, is quite reasonably agitated by this; how it was unfair, how Heracles’ wife and children paid for the gods’ tiff with Heracles with their own lives. And Chiron says:

“… Perhaps it is he greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.”

Go ahead, Miller; twist the goddamn knife. It’s not like I needed my heart, anyway.

Also, unrelated, but I find it interesting how countries that are continents apart end up having quite similar legends. My roots are from an entirely different continent than Greece, but we have a folktale quite similar to the legend of Aesclepius.

But I digress.

Character-wise: Achilles; half-mortal, hero of the Trojan war, the greatest warrior among men. And despite his demigod status, he remains so human. And this might be controversial, but… he comes off a lot more fleshed-out than Patroclus himself. Which is perhaps my sole gripe with this book.

Patroclus is… well, he exists. He’s the son his father never wanted. He kills a boy. Falls in love with Achilles. Spends a concerning amount of time describing Achilles’ feet.

Honestly, up until the chapters in Troy, he doesn’t have much of a personality. And maybe it’s because Miller wanted to remain as true to the Iliad and Odyssey, and, if my memory serves me correct, neither of them give a lot to Patroclus in the way of character development; but still, he comes off a bit- bland. Of course, towards the end, his character gets a bigger role than ‘loves Achilles’; especially seen in how he defies Achilles to spare Briseis, and then dons the armor and subsequently gets himself killed (#ApolloIsOverParty), but up till then, he’s pretty meh.

Briseis is another one of my favorite characters; it was a bit difficult for me to divorce my perception of her from Emily Hauser’s For the Most Beautiful. Her friendship with Patroclus (and, by extension, Achilles; even if he did screw her over afterwards) was perhaps the only good to come out of the war.

And then we have the obligatory: fuck Thetis and FUCK Agamemnon (thank you, Clytemnestra).

Achilles and Patroclus’ love was wonderfully written, and I love how them being queer wasn’t the central focus of the story (admittedly, the ancient Greeks were markedly more casual about homosexuality than the bible-belt world we live in today). A lot of the (non-fanfiction) queer lit I’ve read tends to make everything revolve around, “bUt I aM bOy,,, aNd I LiKe bOy,,, bUT hOW???”, and homophobia is the biggest obstacle to their relationship. And those stories are realistic and need to be told- but we need literature with more variety.

My final verdict: a work of art. I’m going to read Circe and Galatea.

#achilles #patroclus #the song of achilles #madeline miller #greek poetry #iliad #homer's iliad #odysseus #homer's odyssey #odyssey #lgbt #LGBT literature #lgbt fiction #lgbtq #book review #historical fiction #greek myth #greek myth retellings

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polarisdelphi · 3 years

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Answer the questions and tag 21 blogs you want to get to know better. Tagged by @sk-mumu

Thanks a lot for the tag! I'm feeling special ꒰´꒳`∗꒱

Nickname: Kah/Kaka (and polar bear/little polar bear - that's how my mom calls me ever since I was a kid, hence my blog name/art account)

Zodiac: Aries, ascending in Scorpio. I swear I'm nice when I want to

Height: 159cm 160cm

Last Movie I Watched: Avengers End Game. My sister made me watch ALL Marvel movies leading up to End Game 'cause I had never watched it, resulting in us watching movies together everyday for a month. It was worth it and I blame Loki the series, not the god

Last Thing I Googled: If Brazil accepts the jurisdiction of the Committee Against Torture for individual complaints and investigations - my post grad made me go crazy with studying/research this week

Favorite Musician: Muse, BTS and U2. My Holy Trinity of Music

Song Stuck in My Head: Nobody Does It Better, by Carly Simon. It's from the 70's and it was theme of the 007 movie 'The Spy Who Loved Me' - I love all the themes from 007 movies and this is one of my favourites!

Other Blogs: @polarisbibliotheque - I recently started this so I can go back to writing a little bit! I'm doing mostly DMC fanfiction for now, but more will come as inspiration strikes!

Blogs Following: Art related, DMC related, photography + culture (a lot on asian culture and history, like Vietnam, Japan, Korea, China), witchcraft in general, books + really old first edition collector books + libraries, rights related (human rights, activism, feminism, this kind of stuff)... I think that's it.

Amount of Sleep: 4 hours or less. I'm a mess and my sleep schedule is non existent. I've been trying to study Astral Travelling just so I can study/multitask while I sleep, like Doctor Strange

Lucky Number: 7 and 13 - I used to say I'm the unluckiest person on Earth, so I'd use 13 as a lucky number because its "jinx" energy would neutralize my unluckiness and turn into lucky vibes (you know, negative plus negative equals positive?). I've been doing it since I was 13, so far so good actually

What I am Wearing: Dark blue velvety-like sports pants and dark blue gap sweater. Everything I own is blue or black and I don't regret it

Dream Job: Oooh boy. When I was in high school I wanted so bad to work with music - anything really. But now, after Law School and such, my dream job would be working at the United Nations or some International Organization where I can actually help people in need with my knowledge

Dream Trip: So many. Hahaha but I guess Japan and Korea are on top of my list, especially Japan. I have no idea why, since I was very little I've always loved that country and always wanted to pay a visit I blame Sailor Moon. Other countries I have as huge top priorities are Romania, Hungary, Austria, Italy and Greece ^^

Favorite Food: Tea and biscuits/cookies (I'm an old soul). Also, I LOVE Brazilian barbecue. And pizza.

Play an Instrument: I play the piano for +15 years now (I guess...?) It's one of the very few things that puts me at peace and I love music with all my heart. I like playing songs by ear - currently I'm working on some BTS songs and Devil May Cry arrengements. Someday I shall finish the arrengement for Bury The Light, but I'm currently working on refining DMC3 Total Result. I might post here if you guys like it ^^

Also, I'm learning to play the guitar by myself, so it's taking a while.

Language: Brazilian Portuguese, English, an intermediate level of understanding in Spanish, very VERY basic Mandarin and currently teaching myself French

Favorite Song: Starlight, by Muse. It's the same since I was 14 and it remains unconquered.

Random Fact: I studied dance for +10 years and participated on competitions and such. When I was 12, I danced Can Can and I had a solo where I would hold my right leg up to my ear and spin around during two whole counts (two eights, as we'd say here). When I tell people about this, they doubt me and even after so many years, I can still do it!

This is one of the reasons why I like BTS so much: I watch their performances and I get it - the nervousness before it starts, the feeling before going on stage, performing while everyone's cheering... I miss it. And I like watching them do it because I loved it so much - the music and the dancing, I get it when they say they could do it until they die. I miss that sort of passion in my life.

I don't know too many people to tag, but you can do it if you want to! Feel free to mention me as the tagger so I can take a look ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪

#tag game #about me

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you-li-ya · 3 years

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Happily Ever After

Pairing: BTS member x reader

Word count: 1431

Warnings: character death, murder, suicide

Summary: Writing has always been difficult for you. You loved to fantasize about stories, stories about dragons and fairies, magic and friendship and romance. For you, nothing could beat a good love story.

However, as much as you wished to write about all your dreams and wishes, you could never find the right words for it.

In which perspective should you write it?

How should you begin your story?

And how should it end? A happy ending? A tragedy?

You never really knew, but luckily, you had him. He helped you to organize your daydreams, gave you inspiration for an introduction and encouraged you to finish your stories. His love for your ideas, all the tales you tell, always animated you to keep going, to see his glowing eyes and growing smile, while reading your books.

He was your biggest motivation and no opinion was more important than his.

He couldn’t stand reading, never did. For him, it was the most boring activity one could do. He never understood how one could like it, calling it addicting. That was, until he read your stories. He saw the world with your eyes, felt fabrics with your hands. He learned to love reading books, reading your books. They were the biggest treasure in the world, right next to you. And in his opinion no one, except for him, was worthy enough to read your books. And nobody but him would recognize the value of you.

next part

Books. Everywhere were books. Stacked on the table, piled next to the bed. But they weren’t just any books. No, every single volume, every page, was written by you. He could open any of those, in his eyes, treasures and immerse into a new world, another universe, a paradise. Your fantasy, your whole mind was completely innocent, free of any filth. And your whole being was just as innocent as your mind. Once he saw you up close at a fan meeting. If he hadn’t known beforehand, he would have thought he was standing in front of an angel. You radiated such purity that he was afraid to stain you, when your fingertips touched while you took his copy of your newly written book. You gave him a smile, showing so much love in your eyes, he had to hold himself back to not whisk you away. Far away from all of the others preying eyes, who just waited to taint you, to let you wither like a beautiful flower in a field of weed. He could not allow that. No it was his mission, the purpose of his whole life, to protect you. He would be your knight in shining armor.

Covers. He loved the hardcovers the most. The printed picture of you on these had the best quality. It was easier for him to copy your face from them, print posters for his wall and small photos for his wallet, so he could always look at you.

He remembered the first time he saw your face. It was on the back of the book, you flashed a big grin for the camera, showed how excited you were to publish your first novel. Your name was printed right under your picture, so perfect sounding and melodic that he couldn’t stop himself from saying it out loud.

But right under your image was his. In your very first book and in every other one as well.

Kim Namjoon. Your editor and the very first person in every of your acknowledgments.

He loathed to see this person soil your beautiful book covers and execrated him every time he read your thanks to Kim Namjoon. Him, being your biggest support, your help in dark times? Nonsense, he was your biggest fan, he read no other book than yours. Wrote you letters, was the first to inform you what a masterpiece you created. So why wasn’t he mentioned but this excuse of a man? He truly hated Kim Namjoon.

Pages. He always imagined you would smell like the pages of an old book. You mentioned once in an interview that you loved to collect antique novels. All of your book recommendations were on your personal blog. He read every single on of them and immediately purchased the next one if you updated your list, but he could never really find the reason why you liked those books. They were boring, completely ordinary and it made him feel sick, thinking how you would believe those are better authors than you. He just hoped you wouldn’t let yourself be influenced.

He loved you for your originality. If someone was to wear the same outfit as you or to have the same hairstyle, it would always be the other person who copied you, be it a normal person or a celebrity. Everything you did was better, and while he normally hated changes, he trusted you to make the right choices, be it on your body or in your books. The only thing he could never forgive was you talking down on yourself. He would never lean back and watch how someone, not even yourself, would dim your light. He would protect you, but how?

Words. Every word that passed you lips was like a spell that enchanted him. From your soft voice in the interview videos, the emotional whisper in your public readings to the happy laugh when you announced your engagement. The man next to you, Kim Namjoon, moved his arm around your waist when the desktop of his computer went black. He saw his reflection in the cracked monitor, the mouse he previously still held in his hand, laying behind the broken screen. Did he threw it? He didn’t notice it, still to enraged about your future plans to care for the damage in front of him.

You, engaged to him? Don’t make him laugh. You were destined to be with him and not with your editor. He had already planned everything, from your wedding theme to where you would live after your honeymoon. And you, you just destroyed everything. Yes, it was your fault that he destroyed his monitor, that he began to loose his mind. You should take responsibility for your actions.

He was out of his apartment and on the street, on his way to you when a different thought crossed his mind. What if it wasn’t your decision? What if it was this man, if he was responsible for all of this? Did he blackmail you, force you to marry him? It had to be like this, you would never deceive him without a reason.

He quickened his pace, you must be scared to death, completely alone with this monster. You were so helpless without his protection, it was almost cute.

Finished. Your book was finally finished. You told him, he inspired you to write it, the male protagonist was his role. He was thrilled hearing that. All those months he had kept you in his apartment were paying off. He was distraught when you refused to talk to him, completely ignored him. The only time you broke your silence was to yell at him or to cry. He hated seeing your tears, he never really knew what to say, none of his words helped you feel better. But one day he finally found the reason for all your sadness.

His clothes were soaked in blood when he came home later then usual. His feet carried him into your room, wanting to show you his gift for you. He saw tears well up when he showed you his surprise, but after this night you never cried again. He was more than happy that he finally eliminated the cause of all of your sorrow. To celebrate this, he hanged your present over the door to the kitchen, to always remind you, there was no reason to cry anymore. He never noticed how you refused to enter the kitchen since then or how your eyes were always down casted when you left your room, just to avoid the sight of Namjoon’s head over the door frame.

To be continued. Were the last words on your manuscript. His fingers caressed the letters, before he closed the book. A prince, you wrote him as a crown prince. But, why did he hurt you so much in the story? It wasn’t like you to write such cruel books. You normally would create your own world, so why did you pick the Joseon era? What triggered your change? His feet carried him into your room, wanting to confront you about your abnormal behavior.

You laid in your bed, blood dripping down your arm, your breath shallow. Your eyelids flattered open when his shadow fell upon you. You gave him a weak smile, to tired to show or even feel your hatred towards him. He didn’t understand, why were you hurt? Pieces of the mirror laid next to your bed, splattered with your blood, both of your wrists cut open.

He knelt in front of you and held your hands, which were getting colder and colder. You wouldn’t die, you wouldn’t leave him alone. Now that you no longer hate him, both of you could start a new life, explore the world and create your own love stories. Your last breaths came only slowly, you struggled with every gasp. Your eyes opened a last time and to find his.

“I… I am so tired about- About everything that’s happening… Why… Won’t you leave me alone… For the last few minutes… H… Hoseok?”, your eyes squeezed shut when you took an especially straining breath.

The corners of his mouth curved upwards. It was the first time you called him by his name, not just some cuss or insult. Now, you truly loved him.

He kissed your forehead, covered you with your blanket and turned the lights off, before exiting your room. The slumber you fell into afterwards was for eternity, but this was okay, because he was always there to care for you. He would never leave you alone.

And here is my first fanfiction and the start of my first series as well. M biggest thanks go to Google Translator and any other translating website, I feel like this fanfic sucked all of my English skills out of me. Thank you for reading and happy birthday to our Hope.

#bts #bts kim namjoon #bts rm #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #bts jung hoseok #jhope fanfic #j-hope #bts jhope #bts j-hope #bts fanfic #bts series #bts yandere #bts yandere au #bts x reader

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loversung · 3 years

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(◕ᴥ◕) fanfic writers tag game!

tagged by: @dhoya thank u <3 although i don’t write near enough 😭

tagging: umm idk @byeongsung @cobbae @nari-nim and any writer friends/followers who wanna do it <3 no pressure though my beloveds i just don’t have many writer friends lmfao

what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

i’m embarrassed to say i used to write fanfiction for people like justin bieber, shawn mendes, austin mahone, and the other non-shawn magcon boys.

kpop wise i’ve written for bts, stray kids, ateez, a.c.e, victon, txt, got7, seventeen, treasure, the boyz, cravity, and enhypen. yeah, i know. don’t look at me.

what fandoms are you currently writing for?

nct 2020. they have enough members for my pea brain right now.

how long have you been writing?

for most of my life, honestly. but i started writing seriously about 7 or 8 years ago? and since then i’ve written things like plays that have actually gotten performed and shit.

on which platforms do you post your stories?

up until 2 years ago, i was a wattpad user. then i joined tumblr, and so far this is the only place i’ve posted my current pieces (thought i will likely cross post to ao3 and maybe wattpad to try to stop those thieves on those sites)

what is your favourite genre to write?

angst. anything to do with angst. i like to hurt. if i’m not choked up, sobbing while writing it, i’m not doing it right.

are you a pantser or a planner?

i try to plan, but usually i jump the gun and go straight in. once i have a vague idea of what i want to happen in a story, it’s over if i have the motivation to write it.

one shot or multi-chapter?

as of now, one shots. i want to try my hand at multi chaptered fics, though.

what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

i like thick stories with lots of existentialism in them. but it depends on the genre. for fluff or romance, anywhere from a couple thousand words. but for angst? break my tumblr when i try to reblog it.

what is your longest published story? is it complete?

ashamed to say that my longest oneshot is only 5.3k words ….

which story(ies) did you enjoy working on the most?

the aforementioned had a pretty spicy plot (angel vs demon) so it was quite fun to write. i might rewrite it and make it … not smut, and focus more on the tension of the enemies to lovers type thing.

i’m also enjoying working on “gimme some sugar” although i’ve run myself straight into a corner.

favourite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

i don’t typically write requests. it’s a weird thing where if it doesn’t come from my brain i literally cannot write it.

are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

no…? i don’t think so. i don’t really write enough to count.

current number of wips?

5 confirmed, over 40 stored in the brain bank able to be released at any time.

three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i use way too many lengthy sentences.

sometimes they read like a john green novel. no hate to john green (i enjoyed stories like looking for alaska, paper towns, etc.), but it makes me feel like i have nothing special about my own writing.

my style varies depending on the mood i’m in, so there’s always inconsistencies, even if they are minor, in my full pieces that take multiple sessions to finish.

a quote you like from a published story.

i, uh, unpublished everything. whoops.

a quote from an unpublished story.

tw: death and grief mentions

Death strikes when we least expect it. We live our lives, knowing that one day, we will die, yet somehow, when the inevitable has finally approached, nobody is ever prepared. All of our lives, we live a life to leave behind—a legacy, if you will—but it’s never enough. We’re selfish and pray that the deities would grant us the wish that we and our loved ones could live forever. And when they don’t, we cry. We cry, scream, and curse them as we drop to our knees, grasping at the ground beneath us, trying to gain a sense of reality.

— “by skill and valour”

this is a space for you to say something to your readers.

i’m more thankful for you guys than you could ever know. not to get personal, because i like to keep my private details private, but writing is my preferred form of escapism. when things get hard for me, i write to distract myself. and it means a lot that you all have stuck by me and choose to read my mediocre fruits of mental illness effort. i love you all.

also, please feel free to pop up in my asks or tag me in things that make you think of me. i love interacting with you all and making friends. and if you ever need someone to talk to, juno the resident mom friend™️ or older sister™️ is here. for anything. <3

#tag game

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