Odysseus: Okay, I’ve come up with a 3-step plan to get Helen to marry you!
Menelaus: . . . Okay . . .
Odysseus: Step one - invite her to play Truth or Dare
Menelaus: Oh gods
Odysseus: Step two - wait until she picks dare, which she will because I’ll be making chicken noises at her
Menelaus: dude no
Odysseus: Step three - DARE her to marry you!
Helen, from the other room: It could work!
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thinking about book 16 of the odyssey
just... this is so sad. this is when i really understood that Odysseus had missed the first twenty years of his son's life — twenty very important years. in which his son utters his first word and takes his first step. in which he learns how to read and write. in which he makes his first friends and first enemies. in which he is trained to be a good son and a good prince.
in which his son, his only son, has his first everything. and odysseus isn't there for any of it.
okay so everyone i'm crying myself to sleep tonight byeeeee
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Why are songs about Odysseus(Ulysses) and him calling himself Nobody(No One) always absolutely amazing?
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Odysseus: is that you, Athena?
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🤨
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🫤
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🙁
Owl: 🦉
Odysseus: 🥱
Owl: ohh big stretch!
Odysseus: I KNEW IT
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The Telegony goes against what the Odyssey tells us not only because of Tiresias' Prophecy but also because Odysseus' family line only has one son each.
Zeus made our line a line of only sons.
Arcesius had only one son, Laertes,
and Laertes had only one son, Odysseus,
and I am Odysseus’
only son. He fathered me,
he left me behind at home, and from me he got no joy.
(Book 16, Fagles)
Telegonus can't even realistically BE Odysseus' son as he already has Telemachus. The Only son
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please take my internet off
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According to Pausanias, Icarius, Penelope's father, wanted to keep Odysseus to Lakedaimona (Sparta) but Odysseus wanted to return with his new wife, Penelope, to Ithaca. Her father was begging her to stay. Odysseus endured it for some time but then he made Penelope choose whether she wanted to come with him or stay with her father and Penelope instead of replying she covered her face with her veil signaling that she wanted to follow her husband.
And that is now the newest most adorable thing ever!
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Shoutout to odysseus's massive, rippling, thighs
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Odysseus really is just a great character. Kinda like him. Kinda hate him. Definitely wouldn’t trust him. Good stuff.
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Small Ajax: Time sensitive question how flirt girl.
Agamemnon: Throw rocks at her.
Odysseus: Hot Dogs.
Achilles: Kill her.
Ajax: Thanks guys
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is anyone going to tell me what eurylochus wanted to say to odysseus in 'puppeteer' or am i just supposed to sit here and pretend i don't know a mutiny is coming eventually by myself
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