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batminute · 5 months

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The Bat Minute Holiday Special 2023 - Jack/Bat Frost (with Liz Whitaker)

It's time to celebrate once more and this time the Bat gang are bringing you the tale of a hard rockin' bluesman... turned snow man. Snow dad. HOW COOL IS THAT? Not at all, it seems - well, except for the snowball machine gun ability, of course.

Join us as we discuss this Michael Keaton... classic? One of us thinks so, at least! And hey, snow pod is better than no pod.

Merry Whatever, Sleepy Charlie listeners!

The next Christmas special follows next year! THAT'S HOW SEASONAL ACTIVITIES WORK!

Join us on Facebook at the Bat Minute Listener's Cave!

Check out this episode!

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oifaaa · 10 months

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I think jason Todd’s in universe death should last as many years as it did irl and also that he should be killed more frequently in comics now that he’s gonna keep reviving

I have actually thought about an au before in which Jason's death last's as long in universe as in real life which considering that would be 20 years would be quiet funny considering that would make Bruce close to 60 when Jason comes back and does his whole red hood thing and it just made me think of this

#ask #anon #dc #dc comics #detective comics #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #robin #batfam #batfamily #oifaaadoodles #all the bats spending years trying to convince bruce to retire #jason ruins all that work in less then 5 minutes

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puppetmaster13u · 3 months

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Prompt 256

Look, Bruce had had no plans to be a cryptid, he swore.

Vigilante? Yes. Dark abomination of the night? No. And he was, he was technically just a dude. A well trained (and maybe feral) human, but still just a human! Apparently not to the rest of Gotham, and he honestly should have nipped those rumors when they first started.

But like, it was also perfect for his secret identity. No one exactly expected an undead shadow-beast to have a secret identity after all. Or an undead shadow beast and some sort of ghost child to have ones, as the small child- which turned to small children- he’d taken in discovered.

Which, look, he had tried to get Dick (and later Barbara, and Jason, and Tim, and Steph, and by the time of Duke and Cass had given up) to stop. He had tried everything he could but no, nothing could stop them. Literally nothing that he had done could stop any of them, so he had trained them instead.

And the children were all little shits. At least by the fact that Nightwing had lead the newly-made Justice League right where he was perching, continuing to chitter and giggle near hysterically as he ducked behind him.

And somehow they were here to try and recruit him. Great.

#Prompts #Cryptid Batfam #Cryptid Batman #Justice league #DCU #DC #The Robins are all lil shits & convince others they’re some sort of creachur #Gotham knows Robin is a fae-ghost child hivemind thing that came from the Bats blood #They know Signal is the bat signal brought to life #They know Nightwing is the first Robin who mutated under clear skies one night after being taken from Gotham #They know Red Hood is what happens when a Robin dies for a second time & they all don’t want to know what happens a third #The JL don’t know shit and just have all the rumors they can find about Gotham’s….erm… heroes?#They run into Nightwing first & Dick is a lil shit who leads them on a merry chase #Before acting like a lil bby cryptid to hide under his parent’s wing-cape #Does Bruce and them have wings or capes? No one knows- it could be Both #Yes they have fake blood that flakes away to dust after a few minutes once dried across their bodies #Yes it glows under ultraviolet light #cryptid batfamily #batfamily #batfam shenanigans

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donnatroyyyy · 1 year

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Dick and Jason fighting:

Dick: you’re nothing but a scummy, worthless piece of shit! I hope you die again! You should’ve never come back in the first place!

Jason: oh yeah?! Well you’re nothing than a big fake who doesn’t deserve to be here with the family or with superheroes in general! There’s a reason why you’re the one Bruce took the longest to adopt! It’s because you’re not worth it! You’re worthless and nobody loves you!

Dick: well at least I can get my own juice box from the grocery shop! But oh no I’m Jason Todd, the favorite child because I fucking died and I need to do everything criminally because I’m rebelling! Get over yourself you ass no one thinks you’re cool!

Jason: and people think you’re cool?! With your fucking mullet phase and need to over sexualize yourself?! Yeah fucking sure, stop blowing this out of proportion it’s a fucking juicebox!

Dick: and you’re just a fucking failure but oh look at that— Bruce still loves you for some reason!

Jason: what you’re sad cuz he doesn’t love you?!

Dick: and you’re sad because you never had a real mother?

*five minutes later*

Dick, in Jason’s doorway, has done this a million times before with all his siblings: I’m going to bat burger

Jason, was contemplating burning down Dick’s apartment, and also wanted to go ask Dick his opinion on some cargos but didn’t want to be the first to cave: I’m coming with

#they both canonically can and will rip someone to shreds for whatever reason they want #verbal abuse is their weapon 😍🥰#but anyway this is more actually to do with the kinds of things that happen when me and my siblings fight than it is anything else #like we’ll be fighting like crazy. about to kill each other. punching and kicking and pulling hair. then we’re laughing cuz we can’t take #each other’s side eye srsly or something. or we’ll make up two minutes later when we want to order food or some shit.#dc comics #comics #batfam #robin #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #nightwing #Redhood #them after verbally destroying each other: do you want your fries jokerized??#the answer’s always yes btw. ain’t none of the bat kids gonna eat fries without extra seasoning. more seasoning=more happiness.#except for Bruce and Tim those white “salt is spicy’’ ass fuckers.

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batfamhyperfixation · 2 years

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Dude, Jason was low-key lucky Bruce had just him in the manor when he was Robin. If Jason was his Robin, but set now, do you know how mercilessly they would make fun of this:

They would take photos of him in his Robin outfit and send them side by side with Coraline, they would get him this doll:

for every single holiday (even holidays you don't send presents like arbor Day and veterans Day, even obscure holidays like national chocolate milk day, anything to have an excuse) until he had a collection of like over 100 of them. They would leave a box of buttons addressed to him in every room and everywhere he would go to investigate and even places like galas. It wouldnt stop until Bruce or Alfred intervened.

#they made bruce watch coraline with all of them #and when they show coraline in her raincoat he just nudged Jason and said thought that was you for a minute #and the other batkids just stop the movie and are like what now #and Bruce pulls out photos of jason like this and they start calling him coraline #jason disappears for years in hopes that this will die down #then the first thing they say when he gets back is 'how was your visit with your other-father' and 'no button eyes huh'#jason todd robin #jason todd #batkids #batfam #bat family #bruce wayne #batman #batman and robin #coraline

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lookafterthoselittlesheepforme · 2 years

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Is anyone else thinking about how Eddie kept saying that he just ran and left Chrissy there? Because at that point she was dead and he couldn’t have helped her, he must have known that. So what he really meant was he felt bad for leaving her body in his trailer. Then in the last episode his friends seemed to leave him/his body in the upside down. They just left him there?

#stranger things 4 spoilers #st4 spoilers #stranger things spoilers #eddie munson #Dustin who is loyal af #made that big ass jump #injured his leg #and hobbled after Eddie in the upside down #on the injured leg that still hadn't healed two days later #Dustin who knew Eddie's last words were I love you man #the last thing eddie heard was dustin saying I love you too #that Dustin didn't help Steve Robin and Nancy carry Eddie back #nah not believing it #It was like 15ft #It was less than a minutes walk #They really just left him for the bats?#Or whatever else is left in the upside down?

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batminute · 9 months

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Bat Minute of The Phantasm - Minute 58: A Heart to Heart with Hart (with Chris O'Connor)

Arthur finishes his explanation for how he’s ended up going down the rabbit hole. It's a bit of a soft excuse though, dude... I'm not buying your innocence here. Oh, you needed some money for the campaign? Boo-hoo.

All throughout this sob story he laughs. He cannot stop laughing. THE LAUGHS ARE ETERNAL!

Cut to The Bat arriving at Andrea’s window like he’s bloody Dracula or something. Hammer Horror realness.

The next episode follows on Wednesday. Same Bat Pod, different Bat Minute!

Join us on Facebook at the Bat Minute Listener's Cave!

The Bat Minute theme song is by the band Rat Bit Kit and Ash Lerczak (aka Doc Horror) of Zombina & The Skeletones and Double Echo.

Today's guest:

Joining the investigation today is the totally bodacious Chris O'Connor of TMNT Minute. GO BATMAN, GO BATMAN, GO BATMAN, GO!

Chris O’Connor

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Minute - Website - Facebook - Twitter - Instagram

Check out this episode!

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brewing-mischief · 4 hours

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I want to read a fanfiction where Damien as a college kid faces the realization that you know what-growing up in the league was actually pretty bad. Like yeah, he had to murder his cousins in a death battle for the right to be the heir and he went on missions as young as four BUT ALSO dressing up and being a vigilante was NOT the most normal thing ever.

Look sure, it was all consensual-he wanted to be Robin. But now looking back as an adult he kind of has this moment of clarity where hes like "That...wasnt normal." And like SURE he knew that. Of course he knew that. He knew his family was different from the other kids he went to school with, obviously. But it just sort of hits him that you know what. Taking a kid exploited to be a murderer from an underground organization and then have him use his training to be a mini-cop (I'm sorry, vigilante.) Was like...really weird.

That's like taking a foster kid from an underground fighting ring or a brainwashed cult and then letting them still use their previous weapons and knowledge to fight people YOU consider 'allowed'.

Like-he helped SO many people. SO MANY. And he doesnt regret any of that. But also WHAT THE-???

I want to see Damien wake up for just a split second and just be like 'I agree given my attitude this method actually worked for me and my recovery but also-what the @*&$% Bruce?'

An mabye-as a treat- he shares this realization with one of the other Bats and they look at him like "yeah duh" and "why did you THINK we were all a little weirded out by you when you showed up and got to be robin ASAP"

And Damien gets a minute to go "oh."

#damien does not for a second regret being robin #he just has a minute where hes like...why did my dad do this?#this was actually really weird #wait...why does my dad dress as a bat?#like yes i know its for justice and saftey and peace #yes of course im taking up the mantle #gotham needs batman i KNOW #but like #you take a step back and that is just a man in a bat costume #what?!?#damien has a short moment of clarity and you know what-it may be breaking him #he cant do his vigilante duties without randomly getting hit by embaressment #i am dressed as such a nerd #you are dressed as a superhero???#no. no im not #Damien faces the two-edged sword of helping the people and mabye the weirdest therapy anyone has ever gotten #why did my dad have me work through my issues as Robin and not with a counselor?#like yeah it WORKED #shut up #but what????#wait...#did DAD EVER GO TO THERAPY???#oh my gosh he didnt #my whole family just beats people up as substitution for therapy #i know Dick did therapy...once? after his team like fake died #wait #he just talked to black cannery #does it even count as therapy if its just one meeting??#Damien is in phycology. He has a lot of moments starring at the ceiling in horror as he faces his childhood #dc batfam

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bats-and-the-birds · 2 months

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There is a sort of trope that I've noticed in DC media where Batman is infinitely stranger from anyone else's perspective than his own. In his own comics and movies and such his motives are explained to you, you have his inner monologue, but the moment you put him in someone else's story, you're met with a general vibe of 'what the fuck is wrong with that man? is that a man? might be a demon.'

And this 100% extends to the batkids.

Dick? The man has no bones. From an outside perspective, he leaps before he looks, grinning and laughing as be backflips off buildings with seemingly no plan, only to catch himself with a grapple at the last minute. He's charming and warm until he can't be, and then he's terrifying, with a glare and temper that rivals the Bat's.

Jason? He has deadly aim and a steady hand. He's hulking and strong, but he's also silent. He still moves like a bat, like he was taught to in his Robin days, despite the fact that he's taller and broader than Bruce now. The Red Hood could appear out of the shadows behind you, no matter how safe you are, and you wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it.

Tim? He's smart. They're all smart, but he's smart smart. And his ethics and intelligence don't always mesh. He could tear down any security system with frightening efficiency, then rebuild it better. Logically, he's always five steps ahead.

Damian? He's the most obviously terrifying. He's small, and angry, and he has a sword that he knows how to use with frightening efficiency. He's as viscous as his father can be, but with a temper that more unchecked. He learned how to kill before he learned how to protect.

Duke, Cass, and Steph also fall under this, but I don't know enough about them to make accurate judgements.

Anyway, what I'm saying is the rogues and the Justice League alike fear the Bats, and for good reason.

#batman #comics #dc comics #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin dc #dc robin #justice league #batfamily #batfam

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oncillabrigade · 3 months

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I'm sure someone has said this before but...

I think it would be really funny if Scarecrow fear-gassed Tim and just, like... nada. Red Robin keeps walking right towards him, no mask for the toxins, just breathing it in, and beats Scarecrow's sorry ass back into Arkham.

Crane is panicking: what went wrong with the gas? Was it sabotaged? Have the bats figured out how to metabolize it somehow? Is Red Robin not a human? What is going on???

Meanwhile, in the Batcave, everyone is asking Tim how he did it, and he's like, "um. I didn't get gassed? Like, I was having a trauma-induced hallucinogenic episode, don't get me wrong! I saw loved ones dying everywhere; Bruce hating me; failing at everything I do because I'm not actually smart, just lucky... the usual. But it wasn't Scarecrow's doing. That just happens."

And then a minute later he's like, "although that hallucination did have a lot of spiders in it... holy shit, I might have been fear-gassed."

#batfam #tim drake #red robin #scarecrow #johnathan crane #idk if this is funny or just sad #which sums up Tim's life so...#score?

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starry-songs-canvas · 3 months

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Of Course Not(tm)

Kind of continued from this post I made a bit ago.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The bats are on a manhunt looking for whoever took their youngest. (Damian would not just enter an unmarked vehicle)

Nightwing, Red hood, Signal, Batgirl and Orphan all taking the streets while Batman, Red Robin and Oracle all look over the last known footage of Damian, walking stiffly with glowing red eyes. (Obvious mind-control, but why couldn’t he break out of it?)

“Uh, Batman?”

Suddenly, they get a FaceTime call invite on the Bat computer. (Batman has Bat-call, not FaceTime?!?)

“Answer, I’ll trace it.” Oracle says tersely. Red Robin hesitantly pushes the accept button.

“Ancients, you sure took your sweet time with that.” A blue-eyed clone of Damian snarks out the minute they enter the call.

“Where is Damian?” Batman growls out.

“He’s… fine. Well, fine as he can be at the moment.” The clone says, then mutters something under his breath.

“Anyways, could you come and get him? I’d drop him off, but I’m kind of busy at the moment.” He says as he’s furiously typing away at the computer.

“The signals heavily encrypted, I can’t get a read past somewhere in Illinois.” Oracle reports.

“What is the League planning.” Batman demands.

That makes the clone pause. “The League isn’t involved.”

“Then who else cloned him?” Red Robin asks.

The clone now stops what he’s doing and frowns at the camera. “Clone? No, I’m his brother.” Not seeing the reaction he wanted. “Danny? His twin? Other half of the demon twins?”

Watching their growing confused reactions he puts his head in his hands and groans.

“He didn’t mention me at all, did he? Of course not.”

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dp x dc prompt #dc x dp crossover #dc x dp prompt #damian and danny are twins #danny and damian are twins #demon twins au #demon twins #danny is tired being the emotionally functional one #He’s also just plain tired #He’s also busy planning ~~myurder!!~~#Vlad crossed a line #And Danny’s not having it

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februarys-wednesday · 1 year

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i like the idea that bruce just shows up to league meetings with his birds with absolutely no explanation offered

i mean this man frequently stalks his coworkers and knows everything that's happening in their personal lives and i think he'd forget that HE is the weird one for doing it and not everybody automatically knows when he's acquired a new child

so he just shows up at the watchtower with a new bird and literally says nothing about it . just sits at his chair with the latest robin standing next to him and literally doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and it gets even more confusing when they change their costumes and names 😭

20-something bruce: and containing this may be a matter of-flash did you have a question

barry: uh. yeah. sorry, what is that?

20-something bruce: (glancing at 9 yr old dick who has been next to him for 45 minutes) that's robin. obviously. as i was saying,

early 30s bruce, who hasn't shown up with a robin for a few years, entering with a nightwing and a jason todd robin:

barry:

diana:

hal:

j'onn:

bruce: what.

hal:

hal: do you like clone them or

mid 30s bruce, quietly talking with a clearly-not-sixteen-years-old robin in the corner after being without one for two years:

hal:

diana:

barry:

j'onn:

clark:

bruce:

tim:

bruce: this one followed me

late 30s bruce zeta-beaming in with a nightwing, a slightly older robin, and an absolutely BUILT man in a red hood:

barry: did you hire a bodyguard

bruce: no.

barry: whos mr red over there

bruce: you don't remember my second one???

barry:

hal:

diana:

j'onn:

clark:

barry: did. did that one not die

jason: got better

later 30s bruce, quietly showing around a blonde robin:

hal:

bruce: don't ask.

hal: i didn't say anything

40 yr old bruce, making intense, unbroken eye contact with a black shadow:

clark, leaning over to talk to tim: what are they doing

tim, not looking up from his fancy ipad: do i look like i know that

red robin popping in unnanounced in the middle of a league meeting: batman is alive.

barry: who the FUCK are you???

batman, some minutes later, trailed by what is CLEARLY a new robin: did red robin happen to pass through here????

barry: i have several questions

no-longer-lost-in-the-time-stream bruce, talking to batgirl, black bat, and the signal:

hal: did you get three more.

bruce: no. just one.

hal: i shouldn't have asked, my bad

mid 40s bruce wayne, stepping out of the zeta tube: sorry i'm late

diana: not to worry. let's get start-

bruce: i have a few more coming behind me

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

jason: hi

cass: 👋

diana:

diana: ok should we st-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

dick, holding damian like a scowling, sopping wet cat: bruce he's not feeling polite today

damian: HISSS

bruce: okay does he need to go back?

dick: he said he's fine but hes just not feeling polite

diana:

diana: is that the las-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

steph: b i need a hair tie

diana:

diana: so can-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

duke: b did i miss rolecall

diana: no, signal, you did not. let's-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

tim: b alf is mad at you

bruce: why

hal: it's like a fucking clown car

steph: you didn't eat breakfast

tim: you didn't eat breakfast either

steph: shut.

damian: HISSSS

jason: wing. if you do not keep that brat quiet-

dick: hes a BABY!!!!!

duke: you didn't eat breakfast either, timothy

jason: hes a BITCH!!!!!

tim: who the fuck told you????

cass: :)

hal: (storming off, in tears), YOU HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN.

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letoasai · 5 months

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Will work for food

DP x DC An idea that's probably been done before but... here it is again.

It was not an ideal setting for this. Out in the open, debris being their only cover. An unnatural storm closing in. The area had been evacuated but there was still no telling how many civilian eyes could be on them at this very moment.

The League was scattered, making this current group a touch at odds while away from the majority of their normal teams.

Batman stood with Red Robin, Flash, Superboy, and Raven. It wasn’t a bad lineup, but things were getting dicy.

A monster had appeared, a creature foreign to most of them. With it came storms of all kinds, winds, hail, rain. It was a mess but there was nothing natural about it. The hail shattered the pavement. The winds were picking buildings up off their foundations. The blue lightning went without saying. The ice was changing the terrain. The temperature changes were disorienting to most of the heroes.

Worse was the fact that this creature seemed to be able to duplicate itself, spreading the chaos out to a much wider area. They were having trouble even touching the thing let alone capturing it.

“Are you sure about this?” Batman asked, a deep frown etched into his face as he watched Raven mark out a summoning circle.

“It’s the only idea i have.” She said bluntly, shivering from the sudden chill. “That thing is not of this realm. We need something else not of this realm to subdue it.”

“I hear what you’re saying but summoning a demon to deal with a demon still leaves us with a demon.” Flash said, seeing the flaw in this plan.

“Unless you know this one personally or something.” Red Robin offered, his voice exhausted.

“It’s not a demon.” Raven said, tone irritated but it wasn’t like any of them were having a good day. “Depending on how you want to look at it, it’s far worse than a demon. That thing came from the Infinite Realm.”

Superboy just grunted once, watching her put the finishing touches on her spell circle. “You said that in a tone that said it was in capital letters. What’s the Infinite Realm?”

“Bad news and something we shouldn’t freaking touch.” Raven answered swiftly. She stood, eyes going over her work.

“Then what the hell are we doing?” Flash asked quickly, all of them tensed as the wind started to pick up again. If a hurricane was thrown at them, there was little they’d be able to do about it.

“Raven.” Batman’s voice was serious. “You’re sure?”

“It’s all i’ve got.” She repeated. “This is not a problem this realm was meant to handle on short notice. We need help.”

There were several things in that one statement he didn’t like. “Who are you summoning?”

Raven was looking rather pale herself. “The Ghost King. The King of the Infinite Realm. I’ve heard word that he can be bargained with so… we’re gonna give it a shot.”

She didn’t wait for permission from anyone else to throw in their two cents on the matter. She threw her hands out, alien words no one else understood on her lips. The chant repeated and the summoning circle began to glow a green that the present Bats didn’t care for.

It crept up the walls of the summoning circle in oddly pretty patterns before a gaping void opened on the ground. Silently, a figure rose into the circle from that same void. The king was smaller than they’d been imagining the last minute or two. He was human shaped and sized, a black crown floating several inches over his head. He was a wispy figure, face hidden by a large hood but there were strands of white hair floating around their shadowed face. He’d had nothing but a smoky looking tail when he’d first appeared but that had now split into solid looking legs.

Given his size, he seems like a young adult, but it was hard to say for certain without seeing his face.

“Woah.” Red Robin muttered, Superboy agreeing with the sentiment.

“Heroes?” The Ghost King wondered, voice soft and lethargic. “Interesting.”

Raven bowed her head in a show of respect. “Your Majesty. I apologize for the abrupt summons. We have a dire situation and are willing to make a deal for your help.”

“A deal…” His voice echoed gently. He spoke as if raising his voice would shatter the very air around them. “That’s not something to choose lightly. What do you want from me?”

Raven swallowed, her body rigid with nerves. She was almost relieved when Batman took over.

“As i understand it, we have a being from your realm here in ours. We are underprepared to deal with such destruction and-”

“Of my realm?” The King interrupted softly, head tipped a little as his attention turned to Batman. “Who?”

Flash laughed nervously. “We’re not on a first name basis or anything but the guy seems to control the weather.” He pointed up and the sky above them was darkening the longer they spoke.

The King made a noise like he’d clucked his tongue and it struck all of them as a very human kind of gesture despite his title.

“I can handle that. Your deal?”

Raven inhaled again, this obviously being the part she was dreading. “Blood, i have the blood of the Demon Lord Trigon-”

“Pass.”

That drew everyone up short. The others didn’t exactly understand the significance of Raven offering her blood but it clearly wasn’t something she’d expected to be declined so quickly.

“My soul then….” Raven muttered.

“Raven, no!” Superboy hissed. “The fuck!”

Batman was also eyeing her unhappily. “Absolutely not. You are not Constantine.”

Fortunately for the heroes, each of which was ready to revolt for such a barter, the Ghost King waved the thought away.

“Nah.” He tugged on his hood a little and Batman realized he was likely brushing away one of those white strands of hair from his face. “That’s the thing about being the King of the Infinite Realm. Souls come to me one way or another in time. No need to preorder them.”

Raven’s shoulders sagged, eyes shifting as she rapidly tried to think of something else she could offer.

“What do you want?” Red Robin asked before anyone else could say something stupid. “You’re the one that’s going to fight this threat for us. What’s a good deal?”

The King turned to him and stared. They could only assume he was contemplating his answer when he hummed quietly. “Food.”

“Wha…” Flash muttered.

The Ghost King just nodded. “Food from your realm. It’s been…a long time since i’ve eaten.”

“Really? Like we could go grab you a burger and that would be cool?” Superboy asked, a touch suspicious, but the King just nodded.

“Deal.” Raven said before anyone would make it worse. “A meal for returning this threat back to your realm.”

The King nodded again, and each of them backed up several paces when the walls to the summoning circle broke apart and the King stepped out. For the briefest of moments he seemed to nearly stumble under the gravity of actually ‘walking’ but he got over it quickly enough.

“Can we offer you any assistance?” Batman asked.

The King shook his head. “No.” He wandered off towards the storm, the floating crown on top of his head seeming a little larger. He moved confidently and with purpose. “Oh Vortex…” He called, walking into the winds.

He sounded young, but all of them agreed immediately that they never wanted to hear him beckoning them the same way. His tone was dangerous, and he walked right through a car that had been flung in his direction.

“Cool.” Red Robin muttered.

“Simmer down, Red.” Superboy muttered. All of them wanted to follow, but with the unstable weather and a literal Ghost King wandering about, staying out of the way felt like the best option. Of course that didn’t mean they weren’t dying of curiosity.

Flash moved to stand beside Raven, making sure she wasn’t about to topple over because of the power it must have taken to summon a king from another dimension. “You good?”

“Yeah.” she breathed out a sigh. “Honestly, this was an unforeseen best case scenario. You should really go get that food for him.”

Batman moved to her otherside, hearing the voices over comms noticing a shift in what was happening. “You think it will be over that fast?”

“Yes.”

“Well-” Flash looked up at the sky that was rapidly clearing. “Yep. I’ll be right back.” He was gone in a blur but it was hard to believe a change was happening so quickly.

“Has it even been a full minute?” Superboy asked. “I mean, damn…”

“Someone better have been recording visuals.” Red Robin muttered. “We are absolutely missing something amazing.”

“He’s the King of the infinite Realm.” Raven said. “It’s the realm that connects every other realm and it is as the name implies… infinite. He rules it. I don’t even think Trigon would dare mess with him.”

Batman had his arms crossed, still listening to the amazed chatter over comms. “Should it be suspicious that all he wants is food?”

“He made the deal.” Raven shrugged. “He could have asked for anything. Literally.” She stopped speaking when the hooded king returned. He was floating this time though only a foot or two off the ground. He didn’t look tired or dirty or anything.

Just the same ethereal otherness he’d arrived with. “Done.” He announced.

“What uh- happened to the guy?” Superboy asked, pointing vaguely at where the storm had been raging.

The Ghost King just dug into his cape and pulled out…a thermos. “Souped him. He’s gonna have a little time out.”

“Oh my god, i have so many questions.” Red Robin whispered.

The thermos was put away and Batman was suppressing his own urge to ask a dozen questions over what just occurred. They’d been struggling with the Infinite creature for hours and countless lives had no doubt been altered. Clean up would take weeks if not months and this Ghost King handled it in minutes.

“My food?”

“On the way.” Raven said immediately. “Flash is one of the fastest men on the planet. He’ll be right back.”

The King nodded and looked around before moving to a pile of bricks that had once been a fence. He sat down and waited, somehow looking regal among the wreckage.

“So… I’m Red Robin.” Batman looked up again when his son was sliding closer to introduce himself. “Superboy, Raven, Batman.” He gestured and the King’s hood shifted as he followed Red Robin’s introduction of them. “Is there something we can call you or is your Majesty the most appropriate?”

The Ghost King sat in silence for a moment before reaching up to lower his hood. The shadows that had hidden his face disappeared revealing a young man only a little older than Tim. Maybe around Jason’s age. His hair was indeed white, and was braided down the nape of his neck save for the tufts of hair that floated around his face.

His skin was pale, and Batman thought it might have been gray or even blue in different light. His ears were pointed and his eyes were a haunting green.

With the hood out of the way, the crown lowered to sit on his head.

“Phantom.” He finally answered. “You can call me Phantom.”

Raven bowed her head again and Red Robin beamed. “Thank you for helping us! We literally couldn’t have done it without you.”

Phantom nodded again but without his hood to shield him there was something shy about the action.

The Flash reappeared in a cloud of dust, two bags of fast food in one hand and a collection of drinks under the other arm. “I got a little of everything!” He announced. “Got some burgers and some chicken nuggets and fries and onion rings. There’s one of those little apple pies in here somewhere too.

Phantom took the bags with a small smile and set them beside him so he could go through them. Superboy helped with the drinks, setting everything down so Phantom could have his pick. There were three different sodas, a lemonade, and a water.

It wasn’t fancy and probably wasn’t a fair trade of a meal for his services but he didn’t seem disappointed.

In a flash of rings made of light, Phantom transformed. The otherness of him was still there, but instead of a noble king of a realm, a young…very living human was in his place. Black hair instead of white was still braided down his neck and the strands around his face hung limp instead of floating.

Those eerie green eyes were now blue but that– oddly enough– was not the most startling thing about his transformation. He wore a large hoodie and jeans but his feet were bare.

His hands and feet were almost skeletal, and his face was gaunt and starved looking. His eyes were slightly sunken and his skin was a sickly kind of pale.

He looked emaciated, but there was the smallest of smiles on his face when he ate one fry and then another. He took a sip from every drink offered to him and then took a bite out of the burger.

They couldn’t help but stand there and watch, all of them transfixed over what they were seeing.

Phantom took two more bites before wrapping up the rest of his burger and placing it back in the bag.

“Not to your liking?” Flash asked, voice small.

Phantom licked his fingers and shook his head. “No, it was good. I’m just full. I’ll take it with me and eat it later when i’m hungry again.”

Batman could only imagine the size of his stomach. Stopping now was probably the healthiest thing he could have done if he wanted to keep the food down. He cleared his throat. “Are you alright?”

“Mhmm.” Phantom nodded, the rings of light appearing again. He was back in his healthier looking ghostly form. That was an oxymoron, wasn’t it? A healthy ghost form…

“You’re still alive.” Raven whispered, stuck in her shock. “The living shouldn’t… The Infinite Realm isn’t…”

Phantom’s lips tipped up in a smile. “You’re right, but wrong. I’m both. I’m dead. I’m alive. I’m balance.” He paused for a moment. “I haven’t been in a living realm for a while… guess i’ve been neglecting that side of me. Thanks for the food, it was a good deal.”

He was gathering up the bags he clearly planned to take with him.

“You should come back.” Red Robin spat the words out, likely before giving them any real thought. “I’ll take you to lunch. I’ll take you like… all the time. I am not going to pretend to know what you have going on but… shit, Agent A would disown me if i did not offer to feed you.”

Phantom looked cold briefly. “Agent… A…?”

Red Robin winced, “Code name for my grandfather. He’s an amazing cook.”

“Red Robin.” Batman scowled at him.

“Oh, what? He’s gonna give you the look for you not being the one to offer.” Red Robin said unapologetically, but the explanation had Phantom softening again. “What do you say? Lunch? Do i have to summon you?”

“Jesus, Red. Let him actually decline or accept.” Superboy was snickering.

Phantom looked between them, the confusion on his face clearing up after a beat. A piece of paper appeared between his fingers. It had some kind of squiggle on it none of them could read at a glance. He handed it over to Red Robin.

“Have that on you, say my name. I’ll find you.” Phantom said. “I should…eat again.”

“We…appreciate you helping us.” Raven added quickly, determined that they make a good impression.

Phantom’s look grew warmer again. “It was fun.” With his bags and drinks in his arms, he wandered back over to the summoning circle. “I don’t mind helping when the trouble is severe and you were right. This particular problem was mine to clean up. Sorry about him, by the way. Vortex is an asshole.”

Superboy and Flash both snorted. “Thanks anyway.”

Phantom nodded at them again, floating in the middle of the circle before his eyes glowed that bright, toxic green again. He slipped inside the void and disappeared as quickly as he arrived, the remains of the summoning circle erasing itself.

“So… That happened.” Flash muttered, not sure how they were gonna put this in a report to the rest of the League members. Batman wasn’t so sure either.

“I can’t believe you were just hitting on the Ghost King, Red.” Superboy laughed. “I mean… Lunches?”

“What?”

Raven was on her phone. “I am already telling Nightwing.”

“What!? Hey!” Red Robin was looking between them. “I wasn’t hitting on him. You leave Wing out of this!”

“No way.”

“You asked him on a date, man!” Superboy grinned. “All the titans are going to know about this in the next hour.”

“You guys suck!” Red Robin growled, his face a flame.

Batman just sighed. “There’s clean up to do. Get to work.”

He definitely did not need to think about his son’s audacity, coming onto a King of an entire realm. Where did he even learn that kind of behavior?

Masterlist

#dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #danny phantom #Danny Phantom x Red Robin if you squint #Batman #Red Robin #superboy #conner kent #Raven #Flash

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