#as someone that was led to believe that professionals would help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

after-witch · 9 months

Text

Sufferance [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]

Title: Sufferance [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]

Synopsis: Patience is a thread. Eventually, it snaps. You should have minded this with someone like Chrollo Lucilfer.

word count: 3000+

notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, rough noncon sex, sexual assault, degradation

You love books. You always have. As a child, you would curl up under your covers, flashlight in your mouth or propped up carefully with dirty laundry, reading page after page until you heard the creak of your mother’s footsteps in the hallway and had to flop down like a fish, pretending to be asleep. As a teen, you devoured books on the bus, in between classes, sometimes during classes much to your teacher’s irritation.

Your love of reading led where it sometimes does as an adult--to the library. You were just an assistant--shelver, pamphlet folder, read-books-to-the-kids-every-Tuesday-morning--but it was enough for you to be in the building.It wasn’t a particularly lucrative job, and you had heard from friends and family time and time again that you really ought to go back to school and aim for something higher. Time and time again, you shook your head, smiling, and said you were happy to be there.

Now, you wish you had listened to them. You wish you had put in your 2 weeks notice and went back to school or hell, just quit and taken a job somewhere else. Anywhere else. Preferably in a backroom. A warehouse. Somewhere that wasn’t visible to the public and therefore visible to people like him.

Somewhere that didn’t have you sitting quietly behind a desk, processing books, double checking inventory, darting here and there to help patrons or put something back on the shelves.

Because that is exactly how Chrollo Lucilfer found you.

You met him once… twice… three… four… five times at the library. At least, five times that you know of; thinking back, you wonder if he watched you secretly. He must have, to know so much about you. You push that thought away.

He left an impression, but how couldn’t he? He was handsome and rather intimidating, with a casually professional outfit and an intriguing bandage wrapped around his forehead. His voice was soft and polite, inquiring, curious.

He came back a few times. Struck up a conversation. Helped you reach a tall shelf, a low shelf. Offered to carry a stack of books that you had to put away without the cart because it had gone missing.

At first you appreciated another kind patron--but there was something about him that you didn’t like. Something which seemed to seep out of him as time went on.

Oh, you couldn't have pinpointed it if you’d been paid in solid gold. It was something innate. Something primal. Something deep in your gut that told you to stay away from him, like a rabbit catching a whiff of a predator in the woods.

So you started avoiding him as much as possible, running into the stock room whenever you saw him come in, pleading with a coworker that you weren’t feeling well and needed to swap out. You thought if you ignored him, he would leave you alone, move on.

Chrollo, on the other hand--if his own words told to you later are to be believed--fell absolutely, maddeningly for you.

So he waited to see if you could come around (you didn’t) and he took matters into his own hands.

That is to say, he kidnapped you.

You had asked him why, just the once. He shrugged and mentioned that he couldn’t stay in this town forever, and he had to take you before he left. If he didn’t have to go, perhaps he might have tried to court you, but ah, it simply couldn’t be helped.

“Couldn’t be helped.” That’s what he said. It couldn’t be helped that he stole you from your life, your friends, your family. It couldn’t be helped that he stole you. Took you away from everything you’ve known and has decided to keep you with him. Like a pet--no, not that. Like a treasure. Something to be admired and touched at his whim.

And that is where you are now…

Well. More or less.

Just because he’s kidnapped you doesn’t mean you have to give in to him. At least not outside of the fact that you can’t get away from him, and you know that there’s no point in trying to run or fight or desperately beg hotel concierges or passers-by for help. Because no one can help you.

What you can do is fight, in little ways. Ways that dig under his skin and keep you from completely drowning in horror and misery.

The best way to dig under the skin of the seemingly almighty Chrollo Lucilfer is to ignore his attempts to woo you. And oh, they are temptations, there is no doubting that. He has offered so much at your feet that you sometimes wonder why he simply doesn’t find someone who might be open to his advances and do the same. You’ve told him as much, and he’s murmured sweet nothings (emphasis on nothings, in your opinion) about how you’re the only one who’s ever really caught his eye and his heart.

He’s offered you a veritable library of books, including treasures that you’re sure (even if he won't admit it) were stolen from some priceless collection. He’s taken you to bookstores and told you to have your pick, anything you want--it’s yours. He’ll even read it with you.

He suggests getting your favorite meals--sticky and spicy rice dishes, homey pasta from the local restaurant, pastries with sweet cream. Whatever you want, whenever you want. He’s collected all of your favorite films (the fact that he knows which were your favorites makes you feel sick every time you think about it) and watched them with you, but there’s no enjoyment in the scenes. Just as there is no enjoyment in the jewelry he clasps around your wrist, your neck; the rings he slides on your fingers.

You reject the intention behind them all, verbally or physically. Except the food, but only because you need the energy to keep up your struggles for another day.

You refuse to accept this as normal. Any of this.

That’s why he still ties you up when he has to leave, whether it’s a short leash that keeps you on the bed or a long chain around your ankle, keeping you away from the front door of wherever you’ve been stashed.

Sometimes you’re tied up when he’s here, too, if you’ve been too ornery. You refuse to let him touch you or kiss you, though God in heaven knows he’s tried. You’ve bitten him in the past, and got gagged for the trouble, but it was worth it. It’s not like you wanted to talk to him anyway.

He can kidnap you, but he can’t make you love him. He can’t make you let him love you, either, whatever version of “love” he believes is in his heart.

But.

Patience is a thread. Eventually, when pulled too tight, it snaps.

You might have paid more attention to this fact, if you knew what was coming.

You shouldn’t be surprised when you exit the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in clean sweatpants and a lounge shirt, that the apartment has been transformed. It’s not the first time Chrollo has attempted a romantic evening.

But you weren’t expecting it and tonight, he’s pulled out everything in the book. Lights. Music. Food. Mood.

On the table of the hotel room are some of your favorite dishes, all neatly arranged on top of a crisp white tablecloth. There are glasses of wine, probably expensive. In the background soft music plays, something nice, relaxing, elegant. There are candles on the dining table, on the coffee table, above the fireplace. Flickering and dancing, giving the room a dreamy effect.

And there is Chrollo, of course, standing as casually as he can (which is not very much at all) in front of the table. Staring at you with unspoken expectations in his eyes.

“I thought,” he says, slowly, after a while, “that you could pick our movie tonight as well. Anything you please.”

You don’t answer. You look at the table and then at him, but you don’t answer.

He sighs, and you see--just for a moment--one of the hands at his side clench and release. He walks toward you, and you’ve half a mind to turn around and lock yourself in the bathroom, but he’s quicker than your thoughts.

One hand goes to your chin and you set your jaw together as tight as you can, lips pursed, ready to spit venom if he should try anything.

“Darling,” he whispers. “I wish you’d let me treat you.” He pauses. “I wish you’d let me kiss you.”

You can feel his breath on your cheek. It smells like mint. He probably popped one while you were in the shower. Asshole.

He leans in, and it’s not the first time he’s tried to kiss you but it’s the most audacious in recent memory, and you yank your jaw away and take a step back.

You breathe in through your nose, wishing hot fumes could come out to represent how you feel inside. But they don’t.

So you settle for words.

“Fuck. You.” You spit them out, jaw clenched, brow furrowed. “Fuck you and your ‘date’ and if you think I’m ever, ever going to let you… let you…” Kiss me, touch me, have anything from me except poison and hatred? You can’t finish.

The words aren’t enough. You need something more, something that lets you kinetically toss all of this anger and helplessness out into the world.

Ah. The table.

You don’t think before you do it. You just do it. Your hands grip the pressed white table cloth and you yank, hard, sending all the carefully set glasses and dishes flying to the floor. The candles, fragile things, sputter out in the process.

For a few moments, it is mostly silent, punctuated only by a soft dripping that you assume must be spilled wine and your own rapid breathing.

And then you look back at Chrollo and feel your stomach drop out from underneath you.

He’s staring, not at the mess you’ve made, but you. And he doesn’t look angry at all, which isn’t quite right--because you know he’s angry. You know it because the air feels heavy, rancid, like you’re being pressed down by mere emotion.

“I’ve been kind,” he says finally, voice soft and calm. You want to scream--kind?!--but the feeling in the air keeps you from speaking. You don’t want it inside your mouth, this air.

“I’ve been kind,” he repeats, “but enough is enough.”

If you were a rabbit, you would have run. But you’re not, and so you’re standing perfectly still when he takes slow steps toward you and grabs your wrist.

Now, you do try to pull away--but for once, you can’t wrench yourself from his grip. You always had been able to before. But this is different--he’s different. It’s like he’s a stone statue, and no matter how you pull, it makes no difference.

Only he’s not as still as a statue. His hand returns to its earlier position, but instead of gripping your chin, he continues upward, tracing lines across your jaw, up your cheek.

“So lovely,” he says. “A pity that you haven’t let me admire you.”

“Fuck you,” you spit, venomous air be damned. You pull as hard as you can, your socked feet sliding on the floor. You wrench and yank and squirm. Stupidly, it turns out, because it doesn’t work.

He smiles at you. It’s not a nice smile at all.

“That is the plan, dearest.”

Your stomach lurches ahead of you, like a sudden stop on a roller coaster.

“What?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he begins to walk, pulling you behind him. Your feet skid and slide, but it doesn’t matter. It’s like you're made of nothing, a doll, a toy, that he’s pulling along without resistance.

“Chrollo--what?” You ask again.

He’s silent as he drags you into the bedroom, and it’s then, your toe bumping against the threshold on the floor, that you realize where this is going.

“Wait, wait--” The words tumble out of you like water, but there’s no stopping the pull against your arm, or the gravitational force when he gives you a push onto the bed.

The softness of the mattress has you sinking into it, but you manage to scramble backwards before turning yourself over.

“Wait--”

He stands over the bed. He looks at you for a few long, awful moments.

“No more waiting,” he says. Simply. Coldly. Goosebumps run up your arms and you want to run but you feel stuck, frozen, like something is holding you to the bed. You can’t tell if it’s something real or your fear keeping you there.

And then he’s crawling on the bed, his body over yours.

“I’ve been patient.”

His hand reaches out and grabs your wrists, which feel limp and useless; he pins them above your head.

“I’ve been kind.”

His other hand goes to your chest, but not to touch you. He grips the fabric of your shirt and pulls. It rips like paper. The air must be cool because goosebumps immediately dot the flesh of your bared chest, sending a shiver through your body that almost covers up the sense of dread within you.

There’s a sense of finality to those goosebumps. Because he’s not going to stop at taking off your shirt, is he?

“No, I don’t want--you--you--you can’t.”

There’s something that changes in his expression, then. You don’t know what it is, and there’s not enough time to really focus on it. Not with adrenaline pumping through you, making you start to squirm, making your breath start to come fast.

He leans down, close to your ear, that damned smell of mint wafting into your nostrils again.

“I’m a thief, love. I can take whatever I want.”

He lets go of your wrists, and both of his hands grip the waistband of your sweatpants. And that’s exactly when panic truly sets in. Your leg kicks--you hit him, you think--and your body flails, hands flying. Every muscle in your body is tight and tense and screaming to get away.

“No, no, no, no!”

At your panic-induced fury, he merely hums, and it’s the most awful sound you’ve ever heard.

You feel the shift in the air before you see the book. You hate the book. He’s never used the book on you, no, that is true. But you’ve seen it used on others. A warning towards you, but you didn’t heed it well enough.

He murmurs something and your hands fly up towards the headboard. You try to move them but you can’t. It’s like they're held together by some invisible rope. It doesn’t stop you from kicking your legs, twisting and turning, spit flying as your breath comes in ragged gasps.

At this, Chrollo merely uses his free hands to pin down your thighs.

And he waits.

He waits until your body is exhausted, too exhausted to kick or flail or fight him. Not that it did you any good, with your hands bound. And with his own strength in the mix.

When your body ceases to do more than squirm pitifully against the bed, and your breath has gone from spitting and ragged to merely heaving, he smiles down at you.

“There, now. That’s better.”

You don’t want this.

“Please don’t,” you say, voice cracking.

But it doesn’t matter what you want.

Your sweatpants are pulled down first. He doesn’t pull them all the way off, and somehow, this makes your stomach squirm. Then he pulls down your underwear, bunching it along with your sweatpants down by your ankles.

You squeeze your eyes tightly and will yourself to be anywhere but here.

You hear his breath hitch at the sight of your bared body, at all the things you’ve kept hidden from him until now.

“Beautiful,” he says, a crooning reverence in his tone. “Simply lovely.”

Something desperate and stupid pushes you to open your eyes, to look at him, gaze shining with oncoming tears.

“D-Don’t,” you force out. “Let’s do--let’s do something else, okay? You can kiss me, or… or…” Your mind scrambles for some substitution.

Chrollo smiles down at you with indulgence, then presses a finger to your trembling lips.

“Hush now. You had a chance--many chances, in fact--but they’re gone now. We’ll do this a different way.”

And then he finally unbuttons his trousers and pulls them down, along with his boxers. You immediately look up, afraid and unwilling to see what’s underneath.

He leaves his own shirt on, and the sight of that makes you angry, somewhere, deep down. Goosebumps on your chest give way to righteous flushing, hot, angry.

There’s a moment where the two of you merely look at one another. You, with your eyes watery and wide, naked, bared. And Chrollo, his eyes drinking in the sight of you, filling up his own hollow spaces with what was prone in front of him.

And then his mouth is on yours, wet, warm, insistent.

For the briefest of moments, it occurs to you that while you can’t move your wrists, you can still move your mouth. You can still bite.

He pulls back only to speak against your lips, sensing your throats.

“Don’t bite,” he murmurs, in between pressing his lips to yours. “I can be so much worse than this.”

And just like that, the thought of biting recedes, stuck behind the cold fear of what else Chrollo could do. Would do, if you pushed him to it.

But that just leaves you and him, on this bed.

He murmurs something in approval and begins to kiss you again. HIs tongue finds its way into your mouth and you want to retch. It’s wet and warm and awful. There’s pressure on your chest--his hands, resting at first, then kneading your breasts.

Your entire body wants to recede into the mattress. To simply dissolve into it, down to the floor, and possibly beyond.

You don’t want him touching you, but he is.

He pulls away from your mouth, and you can’t look him in the eye, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“I can’t wait any longer, my dear.”

You know what he’s talking about but it doesn’t make it any less terrifying when his hands drift away from your chest, trailing down your stomach, until they finally reach between your legs.

It’s a light touch, at first. Something you could blink away. But he has no patience to take it slow, and in a moment his fingers are inside you. You’re dry. It hurts. But he says nothing when your breath catches in your throat and you let out a pained wheeze.

Your inner walls squeeze him, not to keep him in but in an attempt to push his digits out. It’s an instinctive gesture, and maybe that’s why he doesn’t bother you about it.

He pulls his fingers out and there’s relief for a moment, until you feel his thumb rubbing your clit. There’s too much pressure, an electric sort of tingle. You can’t tell if he’s experimenting or trying to get you wet or something else entirely.

You stare up at the ceiling. The ceiling has tiles. You could count them. You could count them and pretend you’re not here, and that this isn’t happening.

Yet it’s too hard to do that, when you can feel him. Feel his thumb rubbing your clit and his pressure on the body and hear his breathing.

“Look at me, darling,” he says, light, crooning. Like he wasn’t keeping you tied to the bed and touching you unwillingly. Maybe while you’re trying to count tiles, he’s imagining that this went a different way. Maybe.

When you meet his gaze, he keeps it there.

“This will hurt, I imagine.”

He stares at you as he thrusts inside you and he’s right. It does hurt. You’re a little wet, maybe, but not really prepared. It feels like your breath gets knocked out of you, like something is stuck in your lungs, all the while a rough stinging against your inner walls brings tears immediately to your eyes. There’s an awful soreness where the two of you meet.

Tiles, tiles, tiles--who can count tiles while this is going on?

Chrollo, still wearing his damn shirt, begins to thrust inside you. Your breath comes back just in time for it to hitch at the roughness of his thrusts, at how unusually wild and uncontrolled he seems.

It’s painful. It’s humiliating. You don’t know how long it’s going on. Tears trickle down your cheeks, but they feel cold. A startling contrast to the painful heat between your legs, the uncomfortable dryness even as he thrusts inside you.

“Oh, you’re cruel,” he says suddenly, voice tinged with just a touch of breathiness.

His words make something inside you begin to crack. A fissure line ready to spread.

“I’m cruel?” Pain chokes your voice.

He presses against you, leaning down so that he can kiss your jawline, peppering kisses on your tear-tracked skin.

“Yes.” His breath is hot against your cheek. “For denying me the pleasure of this feeling for so long.”

Some part of you, some dull dragging part, wants you to ask what feeling he means. All you feel is pain and humiliation and this awful helplessness that feels like your guts are being scooped out while you’re still alive.

“How awful of you,” he continues, uncaring of whatever thoughts might be racing around in your head. He presses a kiss to your lips. “But I’ll forgive you, in time. Starting with this.”

You shake your head against it all, and he only chuckles, pressing a sickeningly chaste kiss to your cheek.

And then he begins to thrust harder, and there’s added torment to it. More pain, more stinging, an awful feeling of stretch. Another feeling, too, something hitting you--again and again, timed with his thrusts. You realize, with a humiliation that makes you actually cry, that his balls are slapping against you.

There’s an awful lewdness to it, and it’s something you’ll never forget.

Now and then, you feel a thumb brush against your clit, and you jolt from it. But there’s no pleasure, no warmth, no seeking out his lips and arms to meld together in an embrace. The sweat you feel against your back makes you feel dirty.

But all you can do is clench your fingers, wrists bound by some invisible cord, and wish for it to be over soon. It would be a mercy.

You don’t know how long it takes. Time drags and hurts. But eventually you feel him speeding up, catch a crack in his expression that tells you with certainty that he’s going to reach his peak. He leans down again, gripping your chin, and kisses you deeper than he has before.

He groans into your mouth as you feel him still, as you feel wetness inside you. It’s warm and thick and you want to vomit it up, even though it’s not in your mouth. You wish you could spit out the sound of his moan. You imagine brushing your teeth a thousand times and never ridding yourself of it.

In time, Chrollo pulls away from you, and removes himself from between your legs. Liquid seeps out of you, slow and warm.

You will think, later, of birth control. Of asking for a pill. Your stomach will clench and you will throw up with worry that you could be pregnant. He will give you a pill and that worry, at least, will disappear. But that is later.

Now, however, all is silent. Or almost silent. Your ragged breathing and somewhere on the wall, a soft ticking of a clock. Dim sounds from outside, but maybe that is only rushing in your ears.

Your thoughts are not so silent. They are buzzing, going from thought to thought. He hurt you. It hurts. He made you kiss him. He fucked you.

He’s taken everything from you now. Everything you tried to keep, stubborn, stupid thing that you are. Is it any wonder that more tears come, when this thought slams into your brain?

And is it any wonder that Chrollo gazes down at you with something like reverence when you do? He drinks in your expression, and when he leans in, you think for a moment--and only a moment--that he’s guilty. Or sorry. Or something almost like those two human emotions that everyone should possess.

But what he whispers is nothing so human.

“This is your fault, you know. If you hadn’t denied me for so long, well…”

He nuzzles your neck. His touch feels like sandpaper, but you can’t bat him away. How long will he keep your wrists bound like this? Another minute? Another hour? All night?

He sighs against your skin.

“Next time will be better, won’t it? No need to repeat this?”

You would like to go into the bathroom and flush everything out of you with scalding hot water. You would like to drink pure alcohol to rid your mouth of his taste. You would like to down pain pills, to address the pain between your legs.

But you’re tied to the bed and can’t do any of those things.

So you nod, absently. Your eyes go from his face--though his never leave yours, watching what you do, taking it all in--towards the ceiling.

Oh, the tiles.

One of the tiles on the ceiling is cracked.

Someone should really fix it.

#yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere #afterwitch writes

2K notes · View notes

strawberrysturniolo · 4 months

Text

someone older pt 2 // chris sturniolo

summary: after chris and his new photographer have a successful first shoot, they struggle with the idea of them being able to have a professional relationship. teasing, degrading, spanking, rough sex, age gap, daddy kink, secret relationship.

part one

The long awaited Fresh Love drop was a success. So much so that Chris called me, thanking me profusely for my addition to the project. He went on to say that he “hopes we can work together again,” but part of me knows there’s something more to it.

The last time he was here, we made out and took a variety of photos during the act.

He wound up getting a phone call from his manager, putting a hold in our activities.

I’m not sure where that would have led us, had she not called and he had to leave. I don’t think it would have gone further. I don’t know if I would have allowed it.

It was fun in the moment, and I certainly don’t regret it. The only issue is that now with me staring at a new message from Chris about a future shoot, I have to make sure that we’re in agreement of this being simply work, not pleasure in any way.

Chris

Thanks again for the last session. I got amazing feedback from everyone. I wanted to send a message and ask you if you had time this week to do another shoot? That was kind of a test run of what pieces people might like, but now that we have more colors I need to get some more shots in them. Lmk when you’re free

Call me.

I set my phone down on my kitchen counter, trying to let the memories of him sucking my jaw flee my brain. He paid really well, but he was really great to work with, so if kissing him a little while I have fun working with him helps… then what’s the harm?

No, there’s so much harm in this.

My phone rings almost immediately after the message is sent. I hesitate answering, but realize how bad it would look if I didn’t pick up the phone after I just sent a message asking for him to call.

“Hey,” I greet him casually.

“Hey. I assume this is to follow up my message?” he asks.

I find myself pacing around my kitchen, trying to find the right words. “Yeah, but Chris–”

“But?” he cuts in. “There’s but’s now?”

I pause. “What’s wrong with there being a but?”

“This isn’t a work type but,” he goes on. “This is a ‘there’s an issue between you and me’ type but.”

I don’t respond.

“Is there?” he asks, noticing my silence.

“No. Maybe? I don’t know Chris. What I do know is that I did enjoy working with you and I’m glad the drop was what you hoped for–”

“More than what I hoped for,” he interrupts me again. “That happened because of you.”

“Maybe that’s true but if you want to keep working with me then what happened last time can’t happen again,” I say confidently, really trying to convince myself of the same.

I can picture him searching for the words to say. He settles on, “Why?”

I wish I had a better answer. “Part of it just feels wrong.”

“What about it feels wrong? I kissed you. You kissed me back. We did that together. We talked about it afterwards. We said it was good and we were glad it happened.”

“I know,” I nod to myself. I got myself in too deep. “I’m five years older than you, and this is a workplace relationship. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s highly unprofessional and it makes me look bad as an artist.”

“This relationship is also two sided,” he refutes again. “Why do you get to make the calls and decide what’s right and wrong if I was involved in it too?”

Okay… This guy might be more mature than I was led to believe.

“I mean,” he continues. “I could get in trouble too, you know? If my manager found out I was kissing all over my new photographer, I’d be toast. She’d insist on me finding someone else no matter how successful our shoots are. So if you don’t want to shoot with me anymore then fine, but if it’s because you can’t handle a little tension here and there then there’s something deeper that you need to resolve on your own.”

Part of that cuts deep until I’m suddenly stitched back up and determined to prove a point to him. Maybe this Chris Sturniolo is a fling kind of guy. Maybe he has the power over his own feelings to be able to disguise when he’s into someone, but I’m not able to do the same. It’s written on my face, and the last thing I need is for this guy five years younger than me to win this argument.

So game on.

“Come over tonight. Bring your gear and I’ll start setting up now.”

His voice is laced with a cocky tone. I can picture the smirk on his face. “I thought you’d say that.”

The rest of the day passes as I set up my studio with backdrops I spray painted a few days ago. This time, decorated with dark blue splatter designs and graffiti. In a daze and my mind wrapped around all things Chris, I graffitied the words ‘Fresh Love,’ which he went on to compliment upon arrival.

“I’m glad you came around,” he added. “They liked the shots of us together, and I didn’t want to have to search for another model for it if you were right here.”

I nod, trying to have my best poker face as if my eyes aren’t following his every move. “Stand on the X.”

He goes to his place with a smile, knowing my routine now. “Ah, test shots, huh? You do these every time?”

“Wouldn’t miss them,” I respond shortly.

He must have noticed that I’m trying to keep this as business as possible, seeing how he started making every fucking face he could to somehow turn me on. The most seductive smirks, hands in his hair, pulling his shirt a certain way so some of his skin would show more on his stomach.

I hate him.

I need more.

“The lighting is good,” I say as I stand up straight, setting the camera to its flush settings. “Do what feels natural, just like last time.”

He smiles. “If I wanted things to be like last time then you’d be in front of the camera with me.”

I suck in a deep breath. “If you behave then maybe I’ll join you.”

That shuts him up as he starts posing for me. Eventually he asks, “Can I take this sweatshirt off now? Or are we still looking for a good shot?”

I shake my head. “I think we got it. We can do some without now.”

He peels his sweatshirt off, letting it stay stuck to his shirt he wears below it, allowing it to peel up in unison and reveal his stomach and chest. The minimal but dark hairs that decorate his lower stomach give me far too much to imagine as I stare at him. I want to see more of him, and I want those clothes gone. I’m aching for him, and he’s using it to his advantage.

“You taking pictures of my clothes or my body, baby?”

I snap out of it, brought back to him at the sound of the pet name.

The name ‘baby’ leaving his lips almost has me buckling at the knees.

He pulls his bottom lip between his lips, then glances between me and his own shirt. He peels his shirt off, standing bare from the waist up in front of me, dressed now in only his gray sweatpants representing his brand. Even those hang lower and give me too much to think about.

“Put this on and stand in front of the camera,” he instructs, tossing me the shirt as he switches positions with me. “Don’t worry… I’ll turn around while you change.”

For some stupid reason I find myself listening to him. I swap my shirt for his brand, standing on the center point of the camera and allowing him to get comfortable behind it.

He looks through the viewfinder at me, studying the shot before he snaps the moment. “Beautiful,” he mumbles, standing up straight again and smiling. He cocks his head to the side. “Now lose the pants.”

“Chris…” I start to say, but he has more.

“It’s just me and you,” he assures me. “Plus, this is your camera. I have no access to this. If you really don’t want to then fine, but I promise, no one will see these besides me.”

His eyes stare into mine with a determination that says, ‘You know you want it.’

And I fucking do.

Maintaining eye contact, I unbutton my jeans and pull them off my legs slowly, tossing them to the side and standing in front of him in his own shirt and a pair of dark red panties, a thong that hugs my hips in the right way and makes my ass look like his new favorite thing.

He licks his lips, swallowing as he steps back in front of the camera, trying to bite his tongue to keep from making a certain sound or saying something foul.

I want to know what’s going on in that head of his, but I refuse to ask and act interested even if I am.

I start to take control, letting myself feel more comfortable standing in front of him half naked. I start lifting the shirt little by little as he takes more photos, the click satisfying me even more when my back is to him, my ass on full display.

“Fuck,” he sighs. “That’s it.”

My stomach is turning in the best way at every compliment, every look, every sound that leaves his mouth. He isn’t doing his best at hiding his physical reaction either, seeing that his dick is now pressed to the sweatpants around his waist.

“You okay back there?” I tease, now smiling.

“Shut up,” he warns.

I let my body relax. “Business professional, remember?”

He scoffs. “Yeah, fuck that.”

I give him a glaring look. “Chris.”

“Don’t say my name.” My stomach almost falls until he continues. “Not when you look like that and I’m trying to keep it in my pants. Do not say my name.”

My smile grows as I step closer. “So you don’t want me, Chris?”

His eyes fall shut.

“You’re saying you don’t need me, Chris?”

He takes a deep breath, lets it out, and grits out, “Fuck. This.”

He pulls me aside from the camera, his lips finding mine as I take my hands to his hair, finishing where we left off. A soft moan leaves my lips as his dick presses against my thigh.

“Yeah,” he nods. “You did want me.”

I nod desperately back at him. “Really bad.”

“Mmmm,” he hums, kissing my neck. “You can have me right now, you know?”

I have a mental battle with myself while I’m in his arms, and then without thinking clearly I’m pulling him to my bedroom despite the voice in my head shouting for me to leave this alone.

I need relief, and he is exactly the painkiller I want.

He follows me blindly, refusing to detach his hands from my skin. I can’t get enough of him. He’s grabbing my ass, feeling my everywhere, teasing his leg in between mine. His thigh presses against my core, earning a gasp from me as I sit on the edge of the bed.

“Poor baby,” he pouts, pushing me back onto the mattress.

I lift my arms for him, giving him access to the underside of my shirt, lifting it off with ease. My hands find the desperation he is trying to satisfy, a pleased groan leaving his throat at my touch.

“Looks like someone was struggling too, huh?” I notice. My hand makes soft movements over his length, stopping when his hand juts out and grabs it.

He lowers his gaze to meet mine, our faces now level as I sit on the bed and he kneels in front of it.

“I’ve fantasized about you touching me and sucking me off, but I haven’t gotten a clear idea of what you look like with your ass up, or what your pussy feels like around me. So you wanna show me what it’s like?”

I’m ready to do anything he wants no matter how eager it makes me look.

Yet I can’t find the words that convey this.

I nod again. His hand grips my jaw as he pushes his mouth back to mine, shoving my body back onto the mattress in the process. He pins me down, grinding his hips into mine and teasing me with his cock before huffing out a breath and flipping me over. He lifts me by my hips, keeping my ass in the air for him.

“You gonna be able to take me with no foreplay? Nothing but my dick fucking you senseless, baby?” he whispers, pushing my shirt up – his shirt – and kissing down my back in between words.

“Yes, Chris,” I give in.

He tsks. “Don’t say my name. You know what you want to say. It’s on the tip of your tongue.”

Is he serious?

Because if he is… fuck this business relationship. I’ll need him in my bed every night.

I must have taken too long to respond. His palm smacks against my ass, demanding a response.

I wince. “Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl,” he says softly as he rubs his fingers where I was just spanked, soothing the pain.

He kisses over the spot as he pulls my thong to the side. He then dips his head between my legs from behind, licking a harsh stripe on my folds. He hums in pleasure.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” His finger rubs over that same spot. “Gonna have to taste you after I fill you up and see how good we taste together.”

Without realizing, I back my ass up to him, so much so that he smacks my ass again.

“Needy girls get nothing,” he warns, and I find myself apologizing profusely.

There is no way this kid five years younger than me is having this much control. There’s no way I put myself in this position.

The tip of his dick teases at my slit, swiping it a few times before pushing in and pulling right back out. “So tight.” He does the same motion a few more times before shoving in completely, moaning loudly as he lays his chest on my back, tucking his head in my neck. His lips suck on the spot that has me gripping my sheets as he fills me up. His hips start thrusting into me, his hips railing into my ass as he fucks me mercilessly. The sound is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. Me dripping wet while he fucks himself deeper. His skin slapping against mine while my bed shakes, trying to hold us.

“Taking it so good baby,” he mumbles in my ear. He slaps my ass again, keeping his mouth close to my ear so he can talk me through it. “You like it rough, huh? Don’t you, you fucking slut?”

I whine at the name. “Uh huh.”

His fingers dig into my sides as he drills himself as deep as he can.

“FUCK– Yes, daddy,” I correct myself. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re so bad, baby,” he shakes his head in my neck. “Bratty as hell.”

I lower myself to my elbows, now unable to keep myself propped up the way he wanted me originally. He brings himself back up to his knees, fucking me at this new position. He speeds up, smacking my ass every so often, enough to where I can feel heat radiating off of it from the friction of his hand on my skin.

He continues to mock and degrade me, talking me through everything before his hips start thrusting erratically.

My hand reaches behind me, clinging to his wrist as I look at him over my shoulder. The nerves building inside of me are struggling to hold on. I feel like I’m going to break. “Daddy, I’m-”

His eyes go wide as my mouth drops. Watching my face as I cum, Chris’ hips still, his dick deep inside of me as my pussy grips him. His lips part, eliciting a loud whine. I cum around him, and it’s only a moment later that I can feel him filling me up.

I lower my face to a pillow, trying to regain my breath and any strength left in me. Chris pulls out after a few seconds, fulfilling his promise and cleaning up our mess between my legs. I let out a few weak moans, too wiped to make much noise.

He lays next to me, sweat on his forehead causing a few hairs by his ears to stick out straight, losing the natural curl in them and replacing them with a spiky style.

“So,” he says, his breath lost. “Business professional from now on?”

tag list: @freshloveforthefit @lacysturniolo @mattitties @floofparker @javalakers @creamoncreamoncream2 @heebiejeebiezz @sturnswrites @runupthathillgirl @gdsvhtwa @666hellokitty420 @runupthathillgirl @oliviasturniolo21 @keira324 @sstvrnioloo @sturnitup @sturnsvoid @theyluv-meee @therewilljustbereputationts13 @ilovedasturniolos @dancemomsfanee @rootbeerworshiper @sturn3ol0 @swaggygirlboss123 @lustfulslxt

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #sturniolo #sturniolo smut

466 notes · View notes

blueparadis · 2 years

Text

❝ GOOD GIRL ❞ + AKI HAYAKAWA.

+. CWs —» f!reader, m!oral, f→m receiving, cum-play, corruption k!nk; word count — 1kish

+. PRECIS —» Sometimes Aki takes a little advantage as your supervisor.

+. NOTES —» each and every brain cell is soaked in his thoughts which is quite shocking for me since I'm Yoshida stan but oh well we shall see; to read more of my works browse through navigation links.

One and a half months of being under division four. One and a half months yet all he did was to howl orders to all the members in his unit. You didn't anticipate how you would end up working under him given the fact he was once your supervisor.

Aki was anything but professional. He shared his half burnt cigarettes, listened to your stories with rapt attention about how you ended up being from ordinary college girl to a devil hunter. Sometimes he would hit the bar with you and he did all of it in the name of breaking ‘rules are meant to be broken’.

If you were to tell these to anyone in his unit they would probably think you were talking about someone else but fortunately you don't have a habit of rambling if things became haywire. And things did become haywire.

It seems like a common notion to conclude that you wouldn't be under the same division led by your supervising officer. Aki believed that too yet he could not help but bring you home after you nailed your first hunt.

“Open your mouth.” Aki snarls, looking down at you as you sit on his bed, folding your legs, with your knees kissing the bed sheet.

“Why … ?”, your voice drifts as his eyes meticulously scan you from head to torso. Your eyebrows jump deciphering his thoughts. “But I’ve... never...” you stammer, struggling to put it in words let alone do what he demands of you.

“sucked a cock, yea ?. Right” Aki finishes, holding your chin up so he has your eyes at him. He rejoices at the bashful sight of yours, eager to try yet unaware of how to proceed.

You lick your lower lip feeling the warmth smothering your cheeks carefully conveying, . “y... y-es. never... did that.”

Your sheepish whisper, the coyness in your glimmering pupils that is roaming all over the dim apartment room of his refusing to look at him and those perfectly plush lips that declines to say the word makes Aki’s heart bubble with joy.

He wishes to fuck you in all positions known to a man. He wants to fuck you on this very bed you are seated to the point that your supple skin becomes flush, your pussy all sore, your mind betraying you.

But he can wait. He wants to wait, wait and see how long this ivory facade of yours is gonna last.

“come on, you've never . . .” Aki demands, lips curving in delight hoping that you'd say the word, imagining how lewd you'd look. He grasps your chin as you blink and manage to blurt out, “i... i’ve never sucked a... cock... before.”

Aki grins , his cock pulsating inside his pants as he leans closer to your face, crouching so he could look your eager eyes. “you will ... now.”, he rasps finally releasing his cock from his pants, pumping it a few times in front of your astonished face before lining it up to your mouth. You clear your throat staring at his girth.

“i don’t know how...” , Aki’s brow jumps in fascination, “hold and spit on the head.” what on earth did he do to have to go through all these? Not that he complains but he has experienced sloppy blow jobs to mind ravaging ones that made him never go for the inexperienced ones.

But here you’re, his one and a half months subordinate, popular and demanding devil hunter who has not only managed to occupy his bed but also his mind.

“wh-at?” you blink at him, lips slightly brushing against the swollen head of his cock. Aki brings froth his cock closer to your mouth while holding your head in place so as to push the tip to your lips, to open by lightly grazing.

“ lick it, the pre. . . a good girl should.”You open your mouth slightly, feeling your pussy clenching around nothing when his precum spills on your tongue. You squeeze your eyes shut wrapping your mouth around the head.

“fuck,” Aki hisses, spreading his feet on to the floor mat , toes curling to prevent himself from jamming his cock into your mouth.

“Yeah, like that.”, he assures as half of his cock enters your mouth, saliva coating your mouth due to inexperience which Aki finds to be an undeniably alluring sight. A soft moan escapes your lips, eyes widening to glance at him with your brows pinching together as you notice him let out a groan. He only smirks at you encouraging you.

“you’re doing great, baby,” Aki cooes, watching as you struggle to suck him all in. “like that. Mmgh...just like that,” his words roll smoothly, eyes focusing on your stretched lips that are wrapped around his cock. You work your mouth wider, throat bobbing to adjust to his length touching the back of your throat.

“Wait…ugh… stop.” Aki’s voice becomes ragged that makes your heart drop instantly, you're not sure why that is.

“lick it.”, he instructs in one breath without meeting the eye.You glup all your wary before flattening your tongue ready to lick on his silky smooth shaft.

You accumulate a little bit of courage to lick and suck half-way of his throbbing member, occasionally earning more of his low moans. This is why he likes to work with you, a few straight directions and you're quick enough to build your own pace.

He cups your face with both of his palms before snapping his hips forward, making your nose graze the skin above his cock. You gag, tears suddenly pooling at the corner of your eyes yet Aki refuses to stop. He slowly thrusts in and out, his grip getting stronger trying his best not to lose control.

“take it,” he grunts. “All. Of. It”Aki never bothered to have a memory of how many times he had his cock sucked by different girls who has worked with him and who has not worked with him. Sometimes, he doesn't even bother to know the name unless they’re from his line of work.

He rarely sullies his professional relationship. He has no iota of idea of how many times he has shot his cum down someone else’s throat while still face-fucking them. You are no where to be labelled as skilled.

However, he can't deny that this one would imprint on his mind. Aki groans head inclining upwards with his Adam's apple being pronouncedly on display. “holy fuck,” he utters as his fluid fills your mouth, some escaping along the lines of your lips, some spilling on bedsheets. He pulls out his cock jerking a few times before zipping it up inside his pants.

And as he does he looks at you amazed how your cheeks are bulged, a lazy pout forming on your face. “swallow it” he pants rashly and you obey him without a second thought gulping his fluid down. You tore your gaze away immediately licking your lips thinking of what to do now, fidgeting with the loose ends of your unbuttoned shirt.

Aki still finds its amusing how a skilled devil hunter like you ended up being his subordinate. He thinks you're quite skilled to be a solo operator or perhaps he has grown fond of your pretty face.

“Good girl,” Aki chimes with a smile before kissing your puffy lips pushing you down to the soft mattress. There is a reflexive resistance as he desperately sucks your lips. You hum before caving in to his kiss as he proceeded to your neckline.

“God, you're so cute.”, and in that moment you regretted it, all of these, letting your heart soak in desires and affection. Perhaps,he did too when you desperately clawed his back as you deepened the kiss.

—

@akicore , @tokyometronetwork

2K notes · View notes

john-get-the-salt · 4 months

Text

Oblivious (w/Derek Morgan)

Imagine: From strangers, to coworkers, to friends, to…? The evolution of you and Derek

Contains: Derek getting nervous/panicking when his usual flirting doesn’t work, penny not so secretly trying to push you two together, new agent on the team! Au

Warnings: none

The quiet hum of the elevator was oddly comforting as you stood in it, watching the display as it went up up up…..

You couldn’t stop fidgeting, brushing non-existent dust off your dress pants and pulling on the sleeves of your sweater. You’d agonized for hours on what to wear to your first day at this new job. You wanted to be comfortable but also professional. The BAU didn’t have a tight dress code for the office, though it got strict when in the field.

You tried to steady your nerves, using your favorite mindfulness technique of breathing in, holding for 5 seconds, and then releasing. It worked a bit, your shoulders easing.

Your constant stream of thought was interrupted by the elevator beeping and opening its doors to your floor.

You filled before leaving the safety of the elevator and walking through another lobby area towards a set of glass doors.

'Behavioral Analysis Unit' was printed in large black letters, and they seemed to loom over you. Before you could reach for the door handle, a blonde woman stepped up beside you.

"Let me guess, first day?"

You smiled ruefully. The woman wore colorful clothes with blue glasses perched on her nose.

"That obvious, huh?"

"Not at all,” she lied. “Do you need help finding the right office?" She offered.

Your smile widened in relief, "That would be great. I'm looking for Agent Hotchner, I'm joining his team."

Your final interview happened in person with the Agent, but it'd been a few weeks and you didn't want to risk getting lost.

Her eyes lit up. "You're the new recruit! I'm Penelope, but everyone calls me Garcia. I was just heading in, I can show you the way."

You thanked her and followed her through the glass doors. The BAU floor was as busy as you expected. People were weaving about, clutching coffee and files and paperwork.

Garcia led you through the floor, towards a row of raised offices. She knocked on the door to the first one, giving you a thumbs up before scurrying away.

“Come in.”

With one last deep breath, you opened the door.

Agent Hotchner was rising from his desk as you stepped in. He offered you his hand and you shook it firmly.

“Agent Hotchner, good morning.”

“Good morning. Hotch is ok. Good to see you again.”

“You as well.”

He gestured to the chair in front of his desk and you took a seat as the two of you went over some general pre-boarding information. You also received your badge and other keys to get around the office building.

Hotch explained that the team didn't yet have a case for the day, but he'd called a meeting so everyone could meet you. Afterwards you would be working on paperwork for the day, unless the team was needed elsewhere. That was fine with you, someone who actually enjoyed paperwork, and you followed as your new boss led you out of his office and down the hall.

You approached a conference room and could see it was already full. Of course as soon as you stepped into the room all eyes were on you. You held your chin high and met their gazes evenly. As nervous as you were joining a new team, you were confident in yourself and your abilities. You’d been hired for a reason, and you had to believe that.

"Team, this is Agent (y/n)."

They stood up one by one, introducing themselves with either a handshake or a nod. David, J.J, Derek, Spencer, Emily, and Penelope once again. You committed the names to memory, introducing yourself.

"We haven't had anything come in yet today, but we all have plenty of paperwork to keep us busy." And with a nod Hotch was gone again.

You have looked a bit stunned, as Rossi chuckled. "He isn't much of a talker."

“I respect it. Straight to the point."

You turned to Garcia as the team began filing out of the room, “Thank you again, for this morning."

Her smile got even brighter, something you didn't think was possible..

“Oh of course! Not a problem at all. Do you need me to help you find your desk?”

You chuckled. "No, Hotch pointed it out for me. But we could pretend you're helping me and chat on the way."

"Ohhhh new girl I like you."

She led the way out of the conference room and down the stairs into the pen of desks and agents. She asked a lot of questions, which you answered as quickly as you could. It was a lot of basic stuff about what you liked to do and where you had worked before this. It was incredibly relieving having someone so kind and so willing to talk you. And it was endearing to see how enthusiastic she was to learn about you.

Unfortunately, you did eventually make it to your desk and she had to leave you.

"This is your stop," she sighed dramatically. "I suppose I should return to my cave now."

You laughed, setting down your bag at your new desk. She’d told you all about her little tech cave and already told you were welcome to stop by anytime.

Your desk was situated by Derek and Emily’s and you shot them both a smile as you sat down.

"I'll be here all day, Penelope. And who knows, I might get lost trying to get lunch."

She clapped her hands. "Yes! Lunch! Ok my love I shall go and see you again at lunch!"

You smiled and waved as she hustled away.

"You two are already getting along well," Derek noted.

“I guess so. She's incredibly sweet."

He had no argument with that, and went quiet again as you clicked your pen and opened your folder. The towering stack of paperwork probably would've made other agents feel faint. But you couldn't help but feel content. As much as you loved working in the field, you'd been through enough crazy circumstances that you would never take advantage of a peaceful desk day.

"Yikes," Emily winced, catching a glance at the work in front of you. "Newbie paperwork....no joke."

"Call me crazy, but I actually do not mind paperwork."

She fake gasped and you laughed. "I know, I know. Controversial opinion. It just feels so satisfying to get it done."

"You and pretty boy would get along great."

You raised an eyebrow at Derek so he clarified, "Reid, aka pretty boy."

"Ah, no love for paperwork yourself?"

He gave you a dazzling smile that you were sure made other girls swoon. "Unfortunately we don't all get excited for desk work, sweetheart."

You rolled your eyes, but shot him a smile so he knew you were only kidding. The floor got quiet again as everyone finally settled in for the days work.

————

A month or so after that fateful first day, you couldn’t believe you’d ever been that nervous. Your coworkers was great, and after an awkward week or two you found your place and fit perfectly into the puzzle that was your BAU team.

You’d made friends with everyone on the team in different ways, though the biggest surprise had been Derek. You two just worked, and often got paired together out in the field. You made a good team. And though you had more than proved yourself in the short time since you’d started, Derek tended to keep an extra eye on you.

It was obnoxiously sunny out in Colorado, where the team was currently investigating a string of ritualistic murders. Hotch sent you and Derek to go check out the latest dumping ground, out in the middle of some barren desert land. Without any trees for shade the sun was particularly harsh.

Out of bad habit, you’d left your sunglasses back at the police station where you’d set up home base. This meant you were stuck squinting and trying to use your hands as a visor so you could see.

Luckily you only had to struggle for a few moments before Derek was nudging you and offering you his signature black sunglasses.

“Oh no, that’s ok Der. You need em. Next time i’ll just be smarter and remember mine.”

“That’s what you said last time baby girl. Which is why..” he trailed off as he pulled a second pair of identical glasses out of his back pocket. “I bought myself a backup pair.”

“Huh.” You chuckled before you took his offer and slid the glasses onto your face. “It’s almost like you knew I’d forget them.”

Derek just grinned, and the two of you got to work.

And when the two of you returned to the police station in your matching sunglasses, even Hotch cracked a smile.

————

A couple months after first meeting the team you couldn't imagine working anywhere else ever again.

You adored every single person in their own way, and you loved working with them every single day.

Hotch, stoic and closed off, was absolutely brilliant. He always seemed to know what the team needed even if you didn't yourselves. He was someone you really looked up too and idolized.

Jennifer, or JJ as everyone called her, was kickass. She was so good at handling press you would've thought she'd been doing it her entire life. You were in awe of her and absolutely adored her son Henry.

Emily, when you were first getting to know her, was a bit quiet and reserved. It took a while for her to open up to you, but with the help of some team work and margaritas she finally felt safe and comfortable around you. She was unbelievably sassy, and contrary to popular belief enjoyed playing pranks on the rest of the team.

Rossi was deceptively smart. He knew exactly how to get under an unsubs skin and look damn fly while doing it. You could only hope to be in the game as long as he was, and tried to mentally write down everything he ever said. He was currently in the process of trying to teach you how to cook, something you were slowly improving at.

Reid was the smartest person you had ever met. Hands down. He was easy to talk to and greeted you every morning with a fact of the day. It made you happy and he seemed to enjoy having someone to spout numbers at.

Penelope, or Penny as you now called her, was like the teams own personal sunshine. You had lunch together every day, and some weekends spent more time at her apartment than your own. The team had come to call you two sisters, and most days it really felt like you were. You two just got each other.

Last but not least was Derek Morgan. Derek was, to you, an enigma. His charm was always at +20 around you. Emily assured you that's just how he always was, but Penny seemed to think different. She was convinced you two had something going on.

But to be honest you really didn't know much about the man. You knew he liked baseball, loved sushi and secretly enjoyed fruity margaritas. He fixed houses in his spare time and had an uncanny ability to recite Brittney Spears word for word. You also knew he was incredibly good at getting what he needed out of unsubs, never afraid to take one for the team and do what needed to be done. He could also be a hothead, letting his anger take control and lash out.

Did you think he was attractive? Oh absolutely. Did he make you question every decision you'd ever made that led you to know such a fine man? No doubt. But he was was a friend, and a coworker at that.

Which was why as Penny bugged you at the coffee station about your "crush" for the millionth time one day, you thought nothing of it.

"Penny, we've been over this like a thousand times. There's nothing going on."

"What's going on?" Derek stepped up beside you, empty coffee mug in hand.

You rolled your eyes as you poured him a cup. "Nothing, just Pen getting overzealous per usual."

You smiled innocently at the glare your friend sent you before retreating back to your desk. It was only 1 p.m and you still had plenty to get done for the day.

Penelope and Derek loitered the coffee bar for another couple minutes before they dispersed, Derek returning to his desk beside yours.

"Baby girl is really on it today."

You snorted, not looking up from the current sheet you were filling out.

"You're telling me. I woke up this morning to 20 texts asking what I was going to wear today. She was worried she'd accidentally match again."

Morgan laughed, thinking back to the time you and Garcia had both come into work wearing the same sky blue dress. She loved you to death, but vowed it could never happen again.

You smiled softly, enjoying his laugh. It often made you laugh just hearing it. It was infectious, kind of like the man himself the more you thought about it.

"You doing anything exciting this weekend?"

"Don’t think so. If we actually get the days off I'll probably just sleep as long as humanly possible. Maybe try to cook. Rossi is not amused with my lack of progress in that department."

"You wanna go get Indian tonight?"

You perked up. "Yes please! I'll ask Spence if he wants to come, he didn't come last time and I really think he'd like the-"

"I don't want pretty boy to come," Derek interrupted.

You snapped your lips closed, raising an eyebrow. "Is this because of that prank phone call? Cause I'm sorry Der but that was hilarious and-"

"No Reid. Just us."

You furrowed your brows. Was he really still that pissed at Spencer for his dumb pranks? He always acted pissed but you thought he realized it was all for fun. Was there something else going on between the two of them?

He sighed. "You know, for a genius profiler you're pretty clueless."

"Hey! Who you calling clueless, clueless?"

He leaned forward over his desk, making direct eye contact and said, "I'm trying to ask you out on a date here."

Your mouth formed an o as the words sunk in.

A date. With Derek Morgan. Like a romantic date. With Derek. Date.

"Like a date? A date date?"

"You don't have to say yes if you don't want too, and I understand if you don't," he rambled on as you sat dumbfounded.

"Of course I want to go on a date with you. I just can't believe how fucking dumb I am."

He froze, searching your eyes for any tricks.

“Really?”

"I've been flirting with you for the past month, Der. I just can't believe you finally got the balls to ask me out and I was totally oblivious."

"Mama if you didn't think i was flirting back that entire time, you really are oblivious."

"Maybe I'm not, and you just need to step up your game. "

"Hey!" It was his turn to exclaim and you laughed.

"So Indian. Tonight. After work."

"It's a date."

#imagine #fanfic #drabble #criminal minds #fanfiction #x reader #criminal minds imagine #bau #derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #criminal minds bau #criminal minds x reader

294 notes · View notes

nanowrimo · 7 months

Text

Write Meow! 4 Writing Tips Cats Teach Us

Did you know cats have a lot of wisdom about the writing process? It's because of their cat lifestyles! NaNo Participant Megan Jenkins lets us know what our wise cat friends can teach us about writing.

“Cats are too human-like,” my friend complained while explaining to my cat-lady-self why she’s a dog person. I laughed, but after pondering my cat’s behavior, I realized just how much cats can teach us about becoming a better human, and more importantly, a better writer. (Arguably.)

Here are a few writing lessons we can learn from cats.

1. Have a Routine

As someone who rolled her eyes at this advice for years, I still cannot believe that my cat hoodwinked me into a morning routine.

My cat was right though.

Writing for 15 minutes during my cat’s breakfast has me writing more than ever before. While 15 minutes may not seem like a lot, giving yourself prompts for the next session and having consistent sessions helps you accomplish more than you would think.

Also, cats are great accountability partners. If you stray from their routine, they will meow loudly and slap you with their paw. (Or is that just my cat?)

2. Take Breaks

Before my cat, my writing process was to write for hours at a time on a random weekend day. This process was exhausting and made me feel like I had to block an entire day for writing, which is becoming increasingly impossible.

However, cats inherently know the importance of taking breaks and stepping away from screens, which is why they sit in front of our keyboards and computers when we spend too much time on them (I assume).

One way to remember to take breaks is to participate in writing sprints, in which writers write together for a set time.

For any fellow introverts, the Pomodoro Technique, in which you work for 25 minutes then break for 5 minutes with a longer break after four rounds, has been shown to increase productivity.

You might hesitate to try sprints or Pomodoro like I did because you love to emerge yourself in your writing for hours. However, I have found that both methods have built my endurance, allowing me to write longer.

Plus, the frequent breaks to entertain my cat prevent her from hijacking my keyboard.

3. Prioritize Meals

Cats are grazers, meaning they eat several small meals throughout the day, which they do not like to miss.

Unlike my cat, I skipped meals all the time. I couldn’t be like Pippin in The Lord of the Rings asking for second breakfast while on an important quest!

However, modeling my cat, I now prioritize my eating. While it may not work for everyone, eating throughout the day gives me energy to write after work, not just rewatch The Lord of the Rings.

Since you are likely not on a quest to eliminate all evil, try prioritizing eating, like cats (and hobbits) do, and see how it impacts your writing.

4. Focus on the Present

Do you sometimes focus so much on the past or the future that you forget about the present? I do. With NaNoWriMo especially, I tend to over-plan and dwell on any minor failures.

Cats don’t do this. Cats live in the present, and while cats learn from their past, they do not dwell on their failures or worry about the future. Instead, cats deal with problems when they arise.

Similarly, do not torture yourself if you have a bad writing day (or week or month) or worry about every what-if. Instead, use the past to improve your current writing session.

As NaNoWriMo begins, I hope what I have learned from cats’ behavior helps remind you to have a healthier relationship with writing, which is ultimately the goal of NaNoWriMo. Besides the 50k.

Megan is a business risk and control advisor at a financial institution. The rest of her time, she spends dreaming of fantastical places. Her love for language led her to obtain a BA in English with a concentration in professional writing and an MA in Technical Communication and Rhetoric. When she is not writing, reading, or editing, she also enjoys traveling, watching movies, and spending time with her family and cat, Sophie. Connect with her on Linkedin or Goodreads!

Photo by Pixabay

#nanowrimo #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writer's life #by nano guest #megan jenkins

248 notes · View notes

renewoos · 1 year

Text

Sweetly Devoted (jjk)

➸ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x gn!reader

➸ Genres: angst & tooth-rotting fluff

➸ Themes: love at first sight, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, slight meet cute, comfort

➸ WC: 11k+

➸ Warnings: descriptive mentions of health illnesses (mental & physical), anxiety, depression, detox & withdrawal, very brief mention of self-harm, family neglect

➸ Summary: All you wanted was to get healthier. You were so tired of these brutal health battles and constant doctor visits. You’ve been sick for a while not getting well enough help. Don’t worry, your guardian angel is about to send an angel in human-form straight to your life called Jeon Jungkook.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This was the seventh doctor you had been to and each visit only led to more tears in the end. To say it was frustrating wouldn’t be enough. Tormenting, torturing; perhaps those were the words to closely describe the experiences. An autoimmune disease wasn’t just something you could wave off, especially when you had multiple other health problems. Suffering and feeling the world turn gray suddenly as the life in you started to fade away. You felt like you were losing yourself as each year passed. Depression was rising as high as a tsunami wave.

Four years is how long you’ve been sick and it’s been a ride bumpier than hitting all the potholes while driving. How you became ill? It wasn’t clear at all. You had just woken up one night, drenched in sweat from fear. A night terror was what they called it. The problem was, those night terrors came every single night since the first one until you stopped sleeping for two months. Getting only one to three hours of sleep until finally no sleep at all for the last two weeks. Due to the lack of sleep, your anxiety went off the charts. Shaking and trembling at the slightest of sounds, you stopped eating too. You were scared to death and of what? Not even you knew. You had fainted eventually and had woken up in a hospital room, almost dying of starvation and sleep deprivation but saved with an ambulance call from someone who found you.

The hospital doctor gave you a pill, not bothering to examine you properly. The trust you put in him was huge. You figured maybe you just lost your mind. It’s just anxiety and depression but oh, how wrong you’d be. You recovered for a moment, only to suddenly fall again. Your health had been a bumpy ride and the night terrors (which thankfully did end from the new pill you started) but since then on you were never the same again. The things you once loved, you didn’t anymore. Depression was to blame for that one. You lost bits and pieces of yourself. The bits and pieces scattered around, turning into blank pages and crumbling away. Who were you now? Certainly not that once bright being who could take on the world better. The person who had dreams higher than the clouds above.

Six doctors in a row deemed you crazy, god, how much did those words hurt you. Nobody wants to be called crazy especially not from medical professionals. You thought you’d get used to the word after so many times but you just couldn’t. You didn’t have that strength anymore. The sad part is, the medical professionals didn’t properly look at you. Something was wrong. Thanks to your seventh doctor, who caught it and is trying to pinpoint it now. She believes there is so much more to you. ‘It’s not all in your head. Those doctors are wrong, I will prove it.’ Hopeful for the first time but of course, you also didn’t wanna jinx it. For some reason, every time you mentioned something; it would turn out bad. As if a darkness cloud just followed you overhead constantly. After all, it took years to find someone who believed you and she won’t be the only one.

You did believe you were crazy as things just did not make sense overall, especially before this doctor came along. As time passed, you weren’t just mentally ill with anxiety and depression. You were physically sick and every vein in your body was burning from it. You felt horrid pains in your body, physically too. Your poor body is suffering and you don’t know how to help it. That’s when suddenly, the thought of ‘being crazy couldn’t be right’ hit you. Mustering up the small piece of strength you had to go on, you pushed for doctors until you found her.

The discovery of an autoimmune disease was found except for your case, it was special. ‘Of course it’s special,’ you once scoffed. ‘Nothing for me can be a simple answer.’ Doctors found you a mystery and experimented on you. In the last two years, you had gone through several medical tests. Every two weeks, for months you got to feel needles poking you. Constant checking and testing that drained you. The doctors still deeming you crazy just because the tests they ran didn’t make sense to them. You stood up and walked however, despite the difficult road ahead. You keep on going even if some days, you grab that razor blade and say it’s totally over. Something small in you, is not letting it be over. Something that makes you heal your self inflicted wounds and try to care for yourself. It was a fucked up cycle and you knew that.

The autoimmune disease you had was special because it kept changing from one version to another. The problem is, that’s completely contradicting. One version of the disease kills your energy, makes you ache. You become very sluggish to the point where even taking a shower is hard. Heart rate slows and your face gets puffy. The other version; you are restless, jumpy and anxious. The anxiety jumps and your heart is racing. Yet here you were, switching between the two versions of the disease every few weeks. No wonder you were a mess. In the end, it was decided that a virus was messing you up and from it, you got the lovely gift of a physical nodule in your throat.

Luckily that nodule hasn’t turned into cancer yet and you pray that it never does. Only bothers your throat from time to time and makes swallowing difficult a bit. Nobody wants to go through cancer and your heart has always gone out to people who do have it. You always thought that if it came to that, you wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the news. You figured, you’d completely break and give up.

You had a beloved guardian angel, your therapy dog who has passed away before you found out you were sick. You wore a golden locket around your neck daily in memory of her. An urn necklace with an angel wing attached to it. You believe she is protecting you somehow. Your guardian angel is the only thing you had to hang onto.

Recovering only to relapse again and again; spinning around like a tornado. New symptoms came that made things so difficult again. So here you were, with the seventh doctor. The only woman who believes something is still wrong. Your autoimmune disease was able to calm down, not being too harsh on you and not going through crazy spikes. However, your blood-tests had shown multiple other issues arrive yet again. The tears you held in so strongly burst the minute you got home. Stress levels were ascending up and you just locked yourself alone. Hating to cry in front of others so you just kept to yourself and let it out, in the comfort of your private bedroom.

A second autoimmune disease now found present in your gut this time. The first one being in your throat, a gland whose hormones can affect every organ. The doctor had a plan to detox your body as you found out you also had multiple food allergies causing leaky gut syndrome as well as developing anemia. All were contributing to making you ill. On top of it, the pill that you depended on for the night terrors and insomnia, causes the first autoimmune disease in your throat to worsen. The fear of letting go of the medical drug you depended on for these four years hurt you. How could doctors not tell you that the pill wasn’t supposed to be for years? That it could physically cause a damage. Nobody warned you. You weren’t sure if you could do all this anymore. You would need to start six supplements and you would have to tamper off your current medication by lowering the dosages every two weeks. The pill that saved you years ago in the hospital from night terrors now can be causing more illnesses. Bitterness against doctors is all you felt. Not for this seventh one but still after everything, it would be hard to trust her fully; even if she is different so far.

It was an overload of information and a month to do so much work. You just wondered why and how were you getting so ill. It couldn’t just be that pill. Would it ever end? You felt no comfort because almost everyone around you seemed to be tired of hearing you sick. Your home life wasn’t exactly the best. A father should protect not harm but that’s the life you got. Watching you struggle to move some days from pure exhaustion that the illnesses were causing yet nobody in your family seemed to really give a shit.

Nobody in general.

Except for one person; who didn’t consider you ‘too much’ and definitely cared.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

One day, you met him. Before your seventh doctor had discovered another autoimmune disease and advised you on a strict diet and detox, you made a friend. Jeon Jungkook was his name and you never thought someone like this could exist in the world. To say he is kind is an understatement. Jungkook’s affection went high and far, regardless of how close you were to him. Overall, he was a guy who everyone adored. Sometimes his friends would get annoyed at how close he can get with a stranger. Barely knowing someone and giving them a shoulder to cry on instantly. In your life, you had bullies and abusers mostly. Kindness from humans was slightly strange to you. The only kindness you ever felt purely was those from beloved pets. Being a big animal lover, their comfort and playfulness made you lit up; especially when it came to dogs. The memory of your first and last one always replaying in your mind. She was there for you since you were eleven years old and now you were twenty-seven, losing her at the age of twenty-five. Somehow when you looked at Jungkook, he reminded you of a cute puppy. It made you actually chuckle. You wondered if maybe your guardian angel sent Jeon Jungkook your way, to show you that there are good people in the world still.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Days before; how you and Jungkook met.

You were out running around for errands; the usual grocery shopping and paying bills. Just these tasks were enough to make you lose your energy of course. Being ill and doing what most people called ‘simple tasks,’ wasn’t so simple for you and others alike. Once you had finished paying the bills and buying the groceries, you walked out of the store feeling somewhat weak. As you were taking a long walk in the parking lot with your cart full of bags, the beaming sunlight did not help that weak and tired feeling.

“Why did I have to park so far…” Mumbling at yourself since you chose to park quite the distance due to the recent minor attacks on your car. You felt paranoid parking close as you would always find new scratches on it.

You were half way there until you managed to trip, which embarrassed you but the tired feeling came over making you sigh out and not care if anyone saw anymore. You knew they would ignore you.

However, you would be proven wrong as you noticed the sun wasn’t shining it’s beam directly on you anymore while you were still on the ground. Luckily the cart had not drifted away much and stayed in place since you didn’t shove it. You looked up, taking your eyes off the ground and were met with a man. A devastatingly, beautiful and handsome one at that. Nerves in your stomach formed a bit.

“Are you okay?!” He asked with a worried look as he knelt down to examine you.

Feeling your cheeks grow pink since you weren’t used to this kind of attention, especially not from a handsome guy. He looked to be around your age, maybe slightly older? Though looks could be decieving since you looked younger than your age. At least that’s what others have told you. The words wouldn’t come out of your mouth however only worrying him more.

He brought the back of his hand gently to your forehead, making you freeze. “Woah! You feel really hot!”

You mentally cursed yourself. ‘Damn it. Of course, one of my fevers had to happen now.’

Since the guy was so close and you still hadn’t uttered a word out loud, you took a look into his eyes and suddenly he ripped his hand off you. ‘Is he… flustered?’ You thought this because he suddenly looked very shy himself. It was cute.

“I’m sorry, I must have scared you...” He said, with a voice sounding so sweet. You could listen to it for hours.

“No, sorry. I’m just… out of it...” You finally spoke, making him pause for a moment. A look you couldn’t figure out was on his face as he heard you speak. He then nodded, “should I take you to a nearby immediate care?”

A man you didn’t even know was offering to take you to doctors and it all felt like a strange dream as you couldn’t believe what was happening. Nobody was this kind to you before. Suddenly a car blared it’s horns loudly and didn’t look like it was going to stop. Which is typically the type of stuff you expect in life.

“Oh shit!” The handsome man had cursed, pushing your cart further to the side and grabbing a firm but yet somehow soft hold of your wrist to pull you up. You were extremely light so he was able to do it with ease but also he was completely ripped. This man definitely works out so you were sure he could lift anyone up. You ended up with your head buried into his chest, ‘he smells really nice.’ His hand was still around your wrist. The car speeding past you both.

“What the hell is their problem?!” The man lightly yelled towards the speeding car, obviously appalled by it.

Touch-starved probably described you well as you felt like burning even more from just having your face in his chest. Fevers and charmingly sweet guys were a deadly combo. He was tall and you were a pretty short person. You fit well with him physically somehow, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be there. It felt totally snug and comforting. You quickly pulled away, stopping any more thoughts from surfacing. Your heart was already speeding up and you thought it had to be from never being close with someone like this, ever. There was no way you were actually feeling something for a stranger but was that really the truth? Time would tell.

Your eyes connected as he looked down at you when you pulled apart from him, his wrist leaving your hand. Deep down inside of you, you wish you didn’t just pull away so quickly.

His cheeks were starting to tint pink along with his ears. In this quick moment, you inspected him; dark long ish hair that had a part which complimented his face so well. He had a lot of ear piercings which you admired and even wore a gorgeous bracelet. You noticed he had a lip ring as well which only made him hotter. He had beautiful light cherry colored lips & these wonderful doe-like eyes you could feel yourself get lost in. His skin was incredibly flawless on top of it. He dressed very elegantly almost as if he was a pirate king or something. He had black leather pants on with a white, slightly see-through top and with that you noticed that there seemed to be tattoos on his arm. His hand was visible to show that he had tattoos on there as well. This man had to be extremely popular. He was the actual definition of a ‘Greek God’ to you. Humans never made you feel safe before but him? He definitely gave you a safe feeling to add to the list of pros. Something about his aura felt comforting. He might have looked badass but that face screamed sweet.

“I’m sorry, I keep being touchy-” he started, getting back that flustered look. You wondered how on earth he could be shy in this moment.

You had a very small smile creep on your face, “stop please.” He blinked, mouth slightly open. You were an adult and illnesses or not, you brought that confidence out and got serious. Little ounce of courage mustered up.

“You don’t have to keep saying sorry.” You said as he paid attention to you. “You just pretty much saved my life from that car.”

“It was no problem, anyone would have done the same.” Bashfully, his words came out. He had both confidence and shyness. He showed an out-going side but also got shy, completely fascinating you.

“Not really,” your small smile started looking like a sad one and that made his heart hurt a bit. He continued staring at you as you continued, “people aren’t usually nice to me and not only that, you offered to take me to immediate care. Thank you, really. I appreciate it more than I let on.”

He smiled at you, not wanting to pry about why you said ‘not really.’ He knew you must have had stories to tell, painful ones. “Well a nice and pretty person like you shouldn’t be hurting on the ground, with a fever at that.” That confidence and even perhaps flirty-ness it seems came out of him. The nerves in your tummy reappearing now and your heart picking up it’s pace. “Seriously, are you okay?” He asked.

For some reason, those words started to make you tear up a bit. You’re not the type to show people your tears but hearing someone sound so sincere and asking you that just hit like a ton of bricks.

The guy noticed and panicked, “oh no!” He got closer to you and lightly grabbed your hands to hold, “I’m sorry! Did I say something stupid?”

‘Oh man, how can he be this charming… and the cliche is so real. This only happens in movies and books, doesn’t it?’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

That was only mere days ago and from that moment, he stayed with you. Doing his best to help you in what ever way he could and you found yourself spilling your whole life story to him. You never do this with people but somewhere in your gut, you just knew you could trust him. The words fell out of your mouth so easily that you even got mad at yourself for how open you became with him. He went above and beyond to show that you could trust him, just within these few days.Usually that’s extremely foolish but it felt like you two always knew each other. What you didn’t know at first was how much his heart ached hearing about your life, the abuse and now the suffering of illnesses. He didn’t want to show you his worry but he was so worried. Every night so far, he’d come home and tell his friends about you since he lived with them. He would pray that you wouldn’t get cancer ever and that with each doctor visit, something good would finally come out rather than bad news. Through his own body, he had no idea how terrible you could feel as he was healthy and so fit but he mentally felt parts of your pain.

It sounded beyond impossible and weird that two strangers could just become best friends basically in a matter of a few hours. It happened though, as bizarre as it might be. You learned his name, Jeon Jungkook. He was a little bit younger than you which shocked you due to him looking so manly and strong, but he was four years younger; being twenty-three. Jungkook was definitely playful and a bit teasing; he did it whenever he wanted to cheer you up but he also knew when to be serious. He knew when to pull back and listen to you carefully. When you had medical flare ups; although you would try to hide it from him, not wanting to bother him; he’d just insist on you letting him know. Showering you in affection and comfort was just what Jungkook did. That came in hugs and even cute pecks from his soft, plump lips on your forehead, hands, etc. You learned a lot about how he is and how kind he is to anyone. He would willingly lend a hand to anyone in need. So not only did he look amazing, his personality was one of a kind.

It did secretly make you a little bit jealous though you weren’t sure why. Jungkook is just as affectionate as a loyal puppy that won’t leave your side. His devotion was astounding. So friendly to everybody but a small pang of something not so great would wash over you. You felt stupid feeling at this slight jealousy because you knew the world needed more people like him.

What you also didn’t know was that Jungkook was extra sweet to you and only you, he just did a good job of hiding it. Sure, he could give his friends hugs, light pecks when they cry and even comfort a stranger with a small hug or hand holding but with you? He did it much more. Never having met his friends yet though, as you haven’t known each other long; so you didn’t know that little piece of information. He just knew he had an even more overwhelming urge to comfort you of all people. It wasn’t pity either.

One night you would play gently with your urn necklace, holding it tightly and thanked her. ‘I think, my little angel… that you brought us together. I think you guided him to me. He’s the best friend I never thought I could find, after you of course.’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Present Day

Today was the day you found out more health news and shattered, closing yourself off. Locked up in your bedroom, crying your heart out. The good news is, if this doctor is correct, it should start putting you on the path of recovering. If she is wrong, it’ll hurt you more and you don’t think you could handle another blow. You thought you should be happy although a brutal and strict plan had to be followed but instead, you felt sadness that you had to go and develop another illness plus extra problems. It was exhausting.

Your phone was pinging madly and you knew, only one person could be spamming you right now. You knew Jungkook was waiting at home to hear back from you.

You stopped your crying to go grab your phone but a coughing fit had started. The coughing fits come and go, either from the nodule in your throat sometimes hurting or from the horrid acid reflux you got often; which started damaging your vocal chords just a bit. Your coughing fits could last anywhere between five minutes to forty minutes. Seemed like many minutes would be the one today. You groaned in between a cough.

Several minutes had passed and that’s when your phone started ringing. Obviously Jungkook now was worrying and trying to get a hold of you since you didn’t reply to his texts yet. You tried your best to stifle some coughs and answer the phone.

“H-hello,” you answered with a scratchy throat. A small cough escaping from your mouth. Jungkook on the other end, already frowning at the sound.

“(y/n), is it a coughing fit?” He asked, already knowing you so well within a few weeks and learning your uncontrollable habits.

“Yes…” you barely let out and kept trying to hold it in.

A sigh escaped Jungkook’s lips. His tone was gentle “don’t worry (y/n), don’t hold them in. Let them out. I’ll stay on the line and wait so you’re not alone.”

Your heart melted a bit at that but you still covered the phone as best as you physically could as you let out coughs. Jungkook hated hearing you suffer. He wouldn’t admit it but he was a sensitive person. He heard it muffled through the phone. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do himself. If he had cures, the universe knows he would do anything to cure you himself. Even if he only knew you for a few weeks. Time meant nothing to him when he felt a connection to you from the moment he saw you. What that connection meant, he did not know although he was slightly sure but didn’t want to admit it. All he knew was that he had to befriend you somehow and be here for you afterwards. Of course, he also had to help you that day you met since he saw you collapse in a parking lot. No normal person can ignore that. Sincerely, he did want to befriend you. Not just because you were ill and needed someone, he really thought you were a special person in general especially when you first looked into his eyes and when you first spoke.

When the coughing fit was fully over, you were able to speak with him though your voice sounding raspy now because it always did after a fit. It would return to normal after an hour or so.

“Hey Jungkookie,” you said making him chuckle at bit.

“You okay, dear?” he was pacing around his bedroom as he spoke to you. His friends walking past his room to check in on him since he told them you would get medical news today. His friends knew he was scared of what that news would be. While you on the other end had to stop yourself from melting slightly when you heard the word ‘dear.’ It just sounded so nice coming from him.

“Why do you make me feel like the younger friend sometimes?” you replied, going to lay with your back on the bed. It was true. Jungkook had quite the mature aura during times like these.

“You’re mature and pretty wise but sometimes I just wanna be here for you. It’s okay to have moments of feeling younger. I’m here for you in the moments you feel weak, ok?” He read you well because that is exactly how you felt, weak and he knew you hated it but always assured you that it was okay. “I know I can be immature and perhaps a prankster even but…” he paused for a moment and you continued hanging onto his every word, “I am a man… I can be a strong one and you can lean on me when you need to…”

Both hearts skipped a beat at that. Jungkook started thinking if those were the right words and through the phone you could feel that shyness of his about to consume him so you spoke up quickly, “thank you… you’re the best.”

He was happy to hear that but still, the heat creeping up on his skin didn’t stop the blush from spreading across his face.

“About today Jungkook-” You started as you wanted to tell him what the news was.

“Wait!” He half yelled and you paused. “Can we meet up please? I wanna hear in person.” It felt like the right thing to him and although you didn’t want him knowing you were crying, you couldn’t say no to him at all.

“S-sure…” you stuttered while smacking your forehead with your free hand for stuttering.

“Great! Where do you wanna meet?” He had stopped pacing around his room, feeling grateful you two would meet up now. The happiness in his voice showing. You actually didn’t live far from one another, only fifteen minutes away.

“How about the park nearby? It usually doesn’t have many people around.” You said.

“Sounds good dear, I will see you there soon!” He replied and you said your ‘see ya soon hun’ and hung up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Jungkook was already a few minutes early to the park; he picked an open spot so you could easily find him as you walked through the gates. This park was different from others, in that it was very quiet with few people around. Those few people coming here to mostly meditate since there were many beautiful ponds and gardens around.

You strolled in spotting Jungkook sitting on a bench in the middle. He was already facing you so once he saw you, he started running towards you. You did your best to dry your face before arriving but your eyes were red. You hoped he wouldn’t notice it, hiding behind your glasses somehow.

You couldn’t help but smile when you saw him rush towards you. Something finally cheering you up today. You started walking towards him since running was a bit difficult for you to do right now but he caught up to you quickly so you didn’t even have to walk much.

Instantly, he wrapped his arms around you for a tight but comforting hug. You should have expected it but still weren’t fully able to get used to it. You’re just pretty shocked at how adorable he is despite always seeing him be this way. Receiving affection from Jungkook was common but hard to wrap your head around after being a loner for so long. You would freeze up at first but slowly give in to that comforting and safe-like feeling, lightly hugging him back. When you started doing that (because the first few times you would just stand there), Jungkook always ended up getting that shy feeling. He loved when you would hug him back and show you’re comfortable with him. He would always joke and tell you, ‘oh c’mon, you can give me a stronger hug than that!’ or ‘afraid you’re gonna break me?’ Which flustered you but made you giggle.

Today he didn’t do that; you two just stayed hugging for a bit. Both secretly enjoying it without letting it on. When you both finally broke apart, he took a look at your face and frowned. You knew that he realized you were crying but you knew he also wouldn’t bring it up when you gave him a look that read, ‘don’t wanna talk about it yet…’ Since he would still have to mention it at some point because he wanted you to always know that he was here for you.

He took the cue and grabbed your hand, holding it while guiding you to an empty spot in the park; away from the people meditating. A more secluded area where trees could hide you both a bit. His hand was so warm while yours was so cold.

“Jungkook, don’t let my cold hands ruin your warmth.” You’d try to pull away but he wouldn’t let you. Not looking back at you as you walked a step behind him. He still led you before you reached the exact spot.

“Nonsense, I wanna warm you up. I got enough warmth for the both of us.” He would casually reply and this made your heart beat faster. You only hummed in reply.

It was safe to assume, you probably liked your new best friend a tiny bit more than you thought you should have. You were willing to keep that buried inside you though, hoping this feeling would go away in the future when time starts to pass. It wouldn’t surprise you if he had many people having some kind of a crush towards him. He just makes it way too easy to like him. You had no confidence of him ever having a crush on you back because you knew he was just a natural sweetheart. Plus you thought he was way out of your league.

You made it to the spot and he still didn’t let go of your hand. You both sat down under a pretty and small myrtle tree, blooming pink flowers. His face got serious as he looked at you, still holding your hand. You knew he wanted to know the news now. You took a deep breath, making sure tears won’t start sliding out.

“It’s not good,” you bluntly said and he started frowning a bit but waiting for you to go on. You reminded him a little bit of one of his friends, called Min Yoongi. His friend was blunt so he was okay with you not sugar-coating words. “She found another…” you felt a bit shaky but held strong and his grip on your hand tightened. “I have two autoimmune diseases now and this one harms the gut. But we all know most health comes from your gut and all my stomach issues make sense now.”

He was disappointed and it showed on his face, “why…” he stopped looking directly at your eyes and more towards the ground.

You didn’t know what he meant when he said ‘why.’ “Um-” you started but he cut you off.

“Why is this happening to you? Two autoimmune diseases…?” His voice sounded slightly irritated which you never heard that tone before. “I didn’t even know someone could have more than one… I… what the hell.” Jungkook wasn’t sure what to think anymore at all. All he wanted was for you to finally be happy and he knew, being healthy was your only wish in life. His hand never left yours.

“I hate seeing you suffer and struggle.” Continuing because now you were too shocked to stop his rant. “And I can’t do anything about it which pisses me off honestly,” he didn’t hold back being blunt either and his voice almost cracked.

You decided to step in, “Jungkookie… there is some good news too. I’ll get to it.” It was true because your doctor gave you an extremely difficult set of tasks to focus on but if she was on the right path, it could help you and possibly finally put you in recovery. Nothing good comes easy after all. Trust issues arose in you but you decided to fight that for the sake of cheering up Jungkook.

His eyes looked so sad but he stopped to take a look at your eyes and listen clearly. Hope building up a little bit in him now. “Yeah?”

You nodded, “I’ve been sort of poisoning my body it seems.” At this, his eyebrows furrowed and he started getting a worried look so you quickly went on.

“I’m allergic to a huge list of things… that I didn’t know and kept on eating for god knows how long now. They are healthy foods since I already had a slight strict diet but all contain something I am allergic to. So it’s harming me especially because she said I had something called leaky gut.” You explained and he had no words. He just nodded as a cue for you to continue because you realized he probably doesn’t know what leaky gut is and you don’t really understand much of it either but a small gist.

“So leaky gut… basically we have this wall like a brick wall at our gut. Blocking anything from entering your b-bloodstrea…” you felt shaky and Jungkook took notice. You mentally hated yourself so much from constantly being scared of this stuff. He brought the back of your hand to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on it. You felt butterflies but thanks to this, tears didn’t spill out of you. Instead you got slightly embarrassed. Jungkook wasn’t sure of how else to comfort you so this came naturally to him.

“You don’t have to go on if you can’t, (y/n).” His words were soft and you felt his breath against your hand that he still held close to his lips. You squeezed his hand in response, “n-no, I can finish. Thank you…” you mumbled and his heart fluttered at seeing you blush a bit.

“Okay (y/n), I’m here. Say whatever you can, don’t force it out if it gets too hard.” He shyly said and you gave him a smile. He felt his cheeks get warm so he cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, making you confused.

“Jung-” You started but he replied, “I’m good. Go on.” He put your hand down his to lap again as you sat closely and across each other. Still not letting it go. His eyes met yours again with confidence now.

“Okay…” you mentally toughened up to get back to your explanation, “so this wall protects stuff from entering your bloodstream and for me, my wall is broken. So foods or medications, anything I intake is entering my bloodstream. I also have a huge line of inflammation happening which is causing issues.” Jungkook now understood what was happening since he learned about your first autoimmune disease, he knew there was a similarity.

He spoke, “so things that shouldn’t go into your bloodstream have gone there which triggers your body’s defence.” You nodded and he continued, “To defend your body, it’s gonna go haywire attacking what’s ‘foreign’ which is the foods and stuff. It wants to protect you but it goes overboard and attacks you as well. Just like the autoimmune disease in your throat…” he felt sad now.

“Yes, you got it. She also explained it that way.” You said, “a virus attacked my throat gland and my body attacked the virus but also got confused and started attacking itself. Now my gut, is doing that. She believes another autoimmune disease is present since that’s what they do.”

He let out a sigh, “I am so sorry, (y/n).” You blinked in confusion.

“Why Jungkookie? It’s not your fault.” You took your hand out of his hold and patted his hair gently, “it’s okay.”

“How is it okay? The worst part that I realize now, unlike regular food… you’re putting ones you’re allergic to, into your body… that’s why you’ve been sick a lot and stuck in bathrooms. I get it now, the ‘poisoning’ you’re doing without you even knowing so it’s not your fault. None of this is ever your fault, it’s not the fault of the person who becomes ill. That sounds… scary though.” His emotions were starting to creep out, “and not any other single doctor tried to do something as simple as a food allergy test? How can they be this disappointing and stupid?!” He was a bit angry for sure and the fingers you used to run through his hair, took a hold at the back to bring his head into your chest. Your free one arm, holding the back of his shoulder as best as you can. Even if you tried holding tightly, your grips were always soft. He stopped feeling angry as he heard your heart beat. You never did a bold move yourself. He was shocked for a second but slowly leaned into you. You prayed your heart rate wouldn’t start increasing. His hands wrapped around your waist. “I’m sorry, you are feeling way worse than me… I’ll calm down.” You chuckled, “you are unbelievable Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook got worried hearing that from but you went on, “it’s okay. If it were you in my shoes, I’d feel helpless too. I understand it.”

He sighed in relief, “but still (y/n), I can’t imagine how your body feels…”

“It’s hard but thank you for being here and doing your best to understand it all. You are so kind. It does cheer me up Jungkook, I’m sorry I don’t show it often.” You admitted and his hold on you got slightly stronger. You decided to rest your chin on top of his head, thankful he couldn’t see your face right now as you were a blushing mess.

“(y/n), I know we barely know each other but it feels like you’ve been my…” he stopped himself before confessing a secret he held in, “…best friend for years. I have my best friends but you too now. I’m gonna get you to meet them, I promise you’ll love them. You’re part of my life now and you’re staying, got it?”

A small tear rolled down your cheek as you felt pure joy from his kind words, “thank you. I’m staying, don’t worry. You’re my…” you also almost let a secret out, “best friend too.”

A comfortable silence came around you two as you both just held each other and listened to the sounds of nature. There were sounds of a pond flowing nearby and sweet little birds chirping. The winds would blow ever so slightly, making pink flowers dance around you and Jungkook a few times. Both of you, nevertheless, with racing hearts and blushing cheeks, small smiles painted on your faces. Both of you feeling a bit sad internally for saying the words ‘best friend’ but thinking it’s right. Two oblivious idiots not wanting to ruin a new friendship, especially at a time like this. You felt ashamed of being ill sometimes; honestly you felt gross and wondered how Jungkook wouldn’t be grossed out at you. That always confused you because Jungkook complimented you even on your worst days. Due to your feelings of it, you never once wanted to think of the word, ‘romance.’

While Jungkook was worried that it’d be weird and didn’t want to scare you off, plus the time felt wrong because you were suffering; he thought you really just wanted a best friend only so he hoped his feelings could go away soon.

For him, it was probably love on the day he met you. The day he helped you. He knew because… as cheesy and stupid as it may sound, he heard bells & whistles. You had a fever but did your best and just the way you spoke and tried to carry yourself after the car thing happened, captured his heart on the spot. He knew you didn’t think you were beautiful and he thought how blind you were. When he first heard your voice, he thought you sounded like an angel. The way you treated him once he did take you to immediate care that day, he’d never forget. While on the outside you might appear cold or distant, he knew you were filled with kindness and innocence even. Never once did he believe those people who fell in love at first sight but now? Feeling so foolish for letting it basically happen to him.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

After the comfortable silence, you continued your story of the doctor’s visit. With Jungkook paying lots of attention and trying to understand. He knew a difficult journey was about to begin for you. The detox process, even said by the doctor, would be extremely hard. You had only a very limited option of foods to eat which wouldn’t help you keep a steady weight. You had to tamper off a medication so that could cause anxiety and panic attacks to burst out again. Starting multiple supplements such as iron which you were scared of. You knew iron would be heavy on your stomach and you hated that feeling, it scared you beyond to feel more ill. You definitely had a horrid phobia of being ill. What person wouldn’t though? When you were younger, you never pictured getting real illnesses. Even then, you had that phobia but your phobia came to life. You couldn’t imagine the people that had it worse and were even more ill. They were beyond strong to you. Any person who was suffering, whether small or big, you considered strong no matter what.

You had to be extremely careful and the doctor gave you only a month or two. Blood-tests would get repeated to see if this process is working. Jungkook knew this was a gamble because if the doctor is wrong, you would feel more ill but he did his best to shower you with positive words and actions. He knew what was going to come this month; your moods would go up and down, your panic attacks could restart from withdrawal, it’s gonna be a major adjustment eating only a few foods and ones you weren’t very fond of. He personally felt that this doctor was rushing too much onto you. He felt this should take a longer time and that you should get more time. He knew nothing would be your fault and that you’re gonna try your best thanks to his encouragement. He knows sometimes you wanna give up although you try to hide. If that happens, he will rush to pull you up.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

As three weeks passed and the detox process almost a month in, you instantly felt the hit of it on day two. You felt extremely light now-a-days, wondering if you only weighed 1 pound because that’s how it truly felt. It was still taking time to get used to the foods and these foods such as soup for lunch now and some oatmeal for breakfast, weren’t giving you the energy you needed like the foods you were allergic to gave. You will admit though, stomach problems were decreasing which was a positive.

The lowering dose of the pill brought back anxiety attacks indeed. You weren’t sure if this would last but crying spells were becoming common. Some days, there was just nothing to cry about yet you cried out of nowhere. You also weren’t sure if this came from you being afraid of losing the pill because that was possible. The human brain is a powerful tool that can trick you sadly.

During these three weeks, Jungkook did not leave you alone unless on some days you truly couldn’t get out of bed at all. You had gone on a small break from work so luckily you had money saved for this.

You lived with your family who weren’t caring or understanding of this. Although you were a young adult, you couldn’t live alone thanks to your conditions but your family neglected you unless you fainted. Then they would help for a moment but nothing else. Jungkook saw this, being at your home a few times and decided to take matters into his own hands. He convinced his friends to let you move in with them. Granted you were to live with seven men including Jungkook but his friends were good people. He knew they would never do anything to you and knew they would be of help. Plus you needed this and they lived in a big house with a guest room perfect for you.

The doctor warned you, this isn’t a journey you should go through alone nor on your own at all. She even told you to be around caring people.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

An overwhelming amount of guilt was consuming you though. When Jungkook brought two of his friends Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin to help you move out of your house and into theirs, you started a small argument with him. You were beyond shocked that he would offer his home to you and even came with two of his friends against your wishes not to. He told his friends to go grab your things because they were strong while he took you aside to speak with you. He saw you were emotional and didn’t let his friends greet you yet.

“What are you doing!?” You yelled in a raspy voice and the yell wasn’t even very strong as you truly were depleted of power.

He held your shoulders down as you saw his friends moving some of your things out of the house and into a moving truck. Jungkook gave them the layout of your house so they could know how to navigate.

“(y/n), you have to get out of that house. It’s not going to help you at all. You’re feeling very ill and uncomfortable from the detox which is normal but you cannot stay here anymore with these people.” He said firmly and calmly, still holding your shoulders and you looked at him, all red in the face and teary. He knew this was your family but man, did they frustrate him to no ends.

“Why ar…” you choked up when more tears spilled. Jungkook just hugged you. “W-wh” hic, “why…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He said.

Your hands were at the front of his chest and you grabbed a fistful of his shirt, your crying slowing down a lot, “Jungkook, you’re gonna ruin your life for mine you idiot.”

He separated you from him so he could look at you, with confusion written all over his face. Your hands letting go of his shirt. “What on earth are you talking about?” He asked with a frown.

You didn’t take your eyes off of his, calming down the crying and just letting tears silently roll all over your face. “You deserve to be out having fun. You’re younger than me and yet you’re here always caring for me.” Jungkook stopped frowning and felt touched as you went on. “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for me!”

“(y/n), are you-” He said but you stopped him.

“Please stop this Jungkook!” You were slightly angry, “stop doing so much for me!” you half shouted, feeling a bit dizzy. He didn’t speak yet as he knew, more words would pour of you.

“Y-you’re being… so stupid Jungkook! You barely know me!” These words had hurt him now and the look of hurt flashed on his face, making you feel worse. Your heart was pounding in your chest hard.

“Do you really care about time that much…? Does that really matter, how long I’ve known you?” He asked, looking away from you. You bit your lip.

“No… but-” You mumbled.

“But what (y/n),” his eyes focused on you again but you were silent. “Maybe I am just stupid in your eyes…”

A small gasp came out of you as you saw him smile so sadly, “no! That’s not what I think!” You definitely didn’t know how you were standing now as it felt like the world shook from beneath you.

“Then why am I being stupid?” He asked, “do you secretly hate… that I do this?” he looked down at his feet, biting his lip.

“I…” you started but felt sick and then your world turned black. You had fainted and Jungkook caught you in his arms. His friends came over. He didn’t think you would faint now but he should have realized with how frail you looked. Mentally slapping himself for it.

“Are they gonna be okay?” Namjoon asked with a concern look at you. None of his friends actually met you yet but Jungkook told them a lot so they felt like they sort of knew you already.

“They faint a lot sadly, but they will be okay. We have to get them home, ice packs help them a lot.” Jungkook said as he carried you and started walking towards the truck, “are you guys done?” He asked Namjoon and saw Jin coming.

“Yeah, we got it all now.” Namjoon replied, following him. While Jin caught up, putting the last item in the truck. He saw Jungkook gently placing the soon-to-be new house member in the front passenger seat of the car.

“Is this a good idea?” Jin asked out allowed and Jungkook looked at him, “yes. They can’t stay here.”

Namjoon chimed in, “Yeah man… you heard the stories… they need our help.”

“But they didn’t seem too happy…” Jin admitted and Jungkook sighed, “trust me. We’ll talk it out. They’re not well but I trust they will understand and accept the help.” He took a look at you, softly petting your hair. “They’re stubborn and going through a lot but this is the right thing to do.”

Namjoon replied to that, “it’s true. The family didn’t even bother to care about what we were doing… it’s sad actually. Never knew people could be so ignorant… and to their own family.” Jin nodded to that and got into the truck to start driving away from the scene with Jungkook and Namjoon sitting in the back seats since luckily the truck had them.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

You woke up in a room that was unknown to you and felt your eyes blinking into focus. The window showed it was night time but a lamp was lit up in your room. The whole house was quiet. You felt a bit chilly as you realized an ice pack was under your neck as you were laying and a cool washcloth was on your forehead. You slowly got up to sit up straight, putting the ice pack and washcloth aside. You jolted when you looked down and saw Jungkook sitting on the floor, holding your one hand and his head buried into the sheets of the bed, sleeping. You realized this was probably his home that he shared with his friends. You noticed all your stuff was unpacked and everything was set up. You saw a clock on the wall that read 2:00am.

Taking another look at Jungkook, you sighed and lightly moved your hand out of his which ended up waking him.

“(y/n)…?” he asked in a sleepy-like voice, not being loud.

“Yeah, I’m awake…” you whispered, “please go sleep now. I’m feeling better.” More guilt is what you had felt at all this; him and his friends probably setting up your room and him staying here until he passed out. You felt so bad.

Jungkook took a look at your face while you weren’t looking. He was fully waking up and sighed, knowing something was bothering you.

“I know…” he started and you looked at him, “you probably don’t like this, I assume. I promise you, my friends will be nice to you. They know you are dealing with being sick. We like to joke around a lot but we will take it easy. I know you won’t be used to having seven guys around you at first but they’re really like family. They are good guys.”

The frown on your face growing as you felt super grateful but still the guilt was what was eating you alive right now. As if your anxiety picked up on it, you felt a spell of crying coming. You hated being so ‘difficult,’ you thought. Slowly, tears were pouring out. Jungkook had you move slightly as he came to sit on your bed and be closer to you.

“Please (y/n), tell me what else I can do?” Jungkook pleaded as he started wiping the tears off your face.

“Oh Jungkook, y-you…” hic, “are doing so m-much for me” hic, “already.” You blurted out.

A light bulb went off in his head at your sentence, “(y/n)… do you by any chance… feel guilty?” You nodded and cried. He pulled you into a hug.

“No, no shhh” he said so soothingly, “please don’t cry. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about at all.” He tried his best at soothing you down and vanishing your anxiety that came. You realized how much you depended on him. He was the same as your guardian angel. She was the only one who could calm you down and now Jungkook, had that same ability. His protective but affectionately warm embrace, the way he was wiping your tears off before. No other human being gave that secure feeling but you didn’t want to depend on it because it felt wrong to do so. You wanted to be stronger. You didn’t want Jungkook to miss out on life by helping you always.

When the crying stopped and you got a bit tired, he put a space between you two. The hug ending since it lasted for a few minutes but he was still close to you. His hands now on your shoulders.

“Do you feel guilty, (y/n)?” He sincerely asked, still keeping his voice down as his friends were sound asleep in other rooms and you followed in keeping a low volume.

You couldn’t look at his eyes, hesitating but the words came out, “…I do.”

“(y/n), look at me please…” He asked and you did as told, eyes red and puffy from tears. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. You did nothing wrong. My friends and I want to help you, it is no burden at all. They can adjust to things easily plus your battle won’t be forever. (y/n), you will get better. Okay?” His words were too kind for your own good.

“I just don’t want you missing out on having a normal life. You or your friends that I don’t even know yet. It’s gonna be annoying… I’ll have medical flare ups and the adjusting is so slow… I don’t think this will only take two months. That’s too fast,” the guilty words poured out as your eyes looked away again. “I’m the older one yet I’m like a baby basically right now… you’re always spending so much time with me… how can I not feel bad? You’re too nice!” The truth finally and fully came out.

Jungkook cupped your cheeks with his hands and made you look into his eyes, you blushed at the contact.

“You think I would do this for anyone?” He asked you and you had an instant answer, “of course… you always wanna help someone. But I’m just such a difficult case… this is serious and deep-”

“No (y/n),” he stopped you. “it’s true. I wanna help people sometimes especially when it comes to comforting them even if it’s just a little bit of affection to cheer them up. But I wouldn’t go all out like this for just anybody except my best friends of course.”

Confusion was all you felt because you truly believed Jungkook would be extremely devoted to anyone, even if they weren’t friends. Jungkook constantly reminded you of that loyal puppy that you could get mad at but he would still love you with so much stupid love that he’d never leave. Since you weren’t speaking he decided to speak again.

“(y/n), when you said earlier… that I barely know you… does it bother you?” He was slightly worried now at your silence. “Please, tell me what you’re thinking. Don’t be afraid.”

You inhaled a sharp breath slowly letting it out after a few seconds, “no… it doesn’t actually bother me… I’m sorry, I was being pissy earlier but I just think… you’re still too kind for your own good. I don’t want it getting you into trouble or annoying situations. You’re nice to everyone… it can backfire.”

“(y/n), I told you. I would not go this far for just anybody. So get that worry out of your head that you are bothering me. I have time that I spend with my friends and go out a little, we aren’t glued to the hip even if I spend a lot of days with you.”

‘But-” you started and he put a finger on your lips to stop you. His finger on your lips felt so warm.

“No buts. If I have to keep reassuring you because of the anxiety then I will, every single day. It does not bother me at all, my friends will not get bothered either. They understand hardships better than others.” He took his finger off your lips, letting the hand of it gently fall on your shoulder. “I know you’re extremely polite to people you don’t know well and you are very strong in front of others. You do your best to hide your pain from the public. I know that just me and your family members have seen your worst moments but unlike them, it won’t bug me. Yeah, I might get worried sometimes if I don’t catch onto things super quickly but in the end, I will realize.” It truly amazed you how sincere and mature he can get. Despite having a very silly side where he can even bully his friends a bit, not in a mean way but just to tease them; he knew when someone needed him and did his absolute best. It only made your feelings for him grow stronger and frighten you deep down.

“What about your friends… and-” Again, he didn’t want the worries to start up so he had to break your sentence.

“If those sides slowly come out to my friends, they will be understanding. I promise you. My friends have struggled with anxiety before.” You nodded and a took a leap of trust. “And no, I am not sacrificing my ‘fun’ or whatever you think.”

He took a pause, a hand still cupping your cheek because he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold in his feelings anymore. He just hoped it wouldn’t turn everything to shit.

“I want to do this, for you (y/n). Do you understand?” he felt a bit shy, “I’m not doing it cause I feel the need to help you or pity you, I just simply want… to do everything I can for you. Only you… not everybody in the world. Be it hard stuff or easy stuff, sad or happy. I… just want… to be with you. Do you get it now…?”

Oblivious was too weak of a word to describe you, your awareness level was so bad but his words got your heart jumping, more than ever. You didn’t know why but the way he cupped your cheek, stared at you with this charming eyes and the words he spilled; it just made your heart wanna explode.

“You really…” you started and you could see him suddenly hold in a breath, “love helping others don’t you?”

At that, he let out a shaky breath and laughed. He actually let out a quick laugh and shook his head.

“You’re really… way too cute and innocent.” He said after his laugh. Suddenly he got serious and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. A long kiss at that which made you secretly swoon a bit.

“J-Jungkook?” You asked and he pulled his lips away from your forehead. Instead he leaned his forehead onto yours now, with his eyes closed. You were certain your whole face was red now.

“You’re gonna make me say it, won’t you dummy?” You felt his warm breath slightly touch your face.

“I… say what?” You were so curious now and wondered if he could hear how rapidly your heart was going.

He opened his eyes in that moment, “(y/n), this timing is beyond wrong and I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship. I hate that I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I don’t expect anything back so please don’t freak out when I confess this…”

Suddenly his words weighed in heavy on you, like a train coming to an abrupt halt on the tracks. You had no confidence but you couldn’t help but think, ‘confess…? does he… oh my god… he can’t,’ your mind still going but Jungkook stopped it.

Still staring into your eyes and his heart now rapidly picking up the pace too, “I’m in love with you, (y/n).” You let out quite the large gasp and his confession didn’t stop. “I know that sounds so weird and god, this is by far the worst timing in the history of timings but I felt something since day one. I could not stay away from you even if I wanted to… I know it hasn’t been long at all but I feel… so many feelings for you, it’s starting to drive me nuts. It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.” His eyes closed now and you felt he was getting a bit shaky, definitely from nerves and possible guilt. Your heart soared however and you had to let him know what you’ve been hiding.

“Jungkookie, open your eyes please.” You whispered and he let one eye open.

“I’m sorry for this (y/n),” he started pulling his head away from yours as both eyes were now open, expecting rejection but bracing himself for it. He did not want to burden you at your weakest moment. You grabbed his head though, cupping his cheeks now. His eyes widened.

“You idiot…” you uttered and when he went to say, “wha-” you had kissed him completely making his brain fry for a moment until he closed his eyes slowly and kissed you back. It was a soft and sweet gentle kiss but you felt him smiling against your lips which made you smile back. When he pulled away from the kiss first, his face slightly red; you spoke.

“I’m in love with you too…” you admitted and the happiness he felt couldn’t be explained. He pulled you into his usual hug and started planting kisses on the top of your head.

“I can’t believe it…” he barely whispered but you caught it. Somehow the kiss and confession managed to pull you out of any anxiety you felt today. It was strange and new but a good feeling. A surprise you never expected to happen; maybe the universe wanted to hand you something special. You were already thankful for Jungkook coming into your life, so grateful that you wanted to repay him after you got better, if the treatments worked. Now you realized how much you were not a burden to him at all, letting the guilt that was eating you, wash away like it never existed. You definitely understood it now. You understood that you were different, that Jungkook considered you his special someone. It was beyond cliche and never did you think a ‘love at first sight’ type of story was gonna happen to you. Some people argue that time matters but sometimes, you can meet someone and just instantly connect with them. More than people you know for years even; it is real and it can happen. Just like it did for you and him. You thought of your gold urn necklace you wore and smiled, ‘thank you for sending him to me. I know you did.’ You didn’t see it but your urn necklace started glowing ever so lightly, almost as if your guardian angel was trying to say, ‘I only guided his path slightly towards yours. It was meant to be but you’re welcome. Please keep that happiness, for me.’

He stopped planting kisses on the top of your head and rested his chin on it now, slowly rubbing your back in small circles with one hand. “I don’t want to rush you into anything at all. We are going to focus on you getting better first. Everything else, will slowly come later okay?”

You told him, “that is completely okay with me and Jungkookie, thank you so much.”

“For what?” He asked as you two were still in an embrace, bodies relaxing.

“For helping me and for loving me. You are sweetly devoted to me, my dear and I am truly so lucky. Thank you for wanting to wait first as well.” Your words were sincere and he truly felt them, letting out a content sigh.

“Thank you also, (y/n)… for allowing me to be in your life and for loving me back. I promise, it will be worth it.” Jungkook said and with that, you both had gotten sleepy and comfortably fell asleep together. Him holding you as you both slept peacefully and soundly.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

This story was inspired by real events I went through. I’ve been sick for 7 years? Gone through 25 doctors. This story is old though! The first disease I was typing about was thyroid & mine switched from hyper to hypo due to it being viral, they concluded. My diagnosis has changed a lot as the doctors were confused always. It’s been hell. My doctor here was wrong about my stomach illness. It’s something else. I had tumors now unfortunately. But I am more accurately diagnosed now & going through a brutal treatment. I got the comment, “this is so inaccurate.” You have no right commenting this & I’ll just block you. You don’t get to invalidate my personal experiences that I shared to create this. Everyone has a different body & goes through illnesses differently. It’s true, my doctors were partly stupid and got half of it wrong but this is still a FANFIC. I just wanted to write a comfort fic for anyone dealing with illness. Something nice. I used real events (from a few yrs ago) as that helps me for writing. The love story is the major fictional part, obviously lol.

698 notes · View notes

novamariestark · 6 months

Text

Slip of the Tongue - Alden Parker

Summary: You accidentally call Alden his pet name in front of the team

Warnings: None, except maybe, use of a pet name

Word count: 1681

Fandom: NCIS

Pairing: Alden Parker x reader

[A/N] I've been working on this for weeks and it didn't really end up as well as I pictured it in my head but I am happy that my lazyass brain let me write something.

You hadn’t meant to say it. It was an accident. Just a slip of the tongue. You knew for sure that Nick was never going to let you live this down.

You and Alden have been together for about six months and for the sake of your professional relationship, you kept it secret. At least you did. It didn’t take an investigator to figure it out.

You all hadn’t long come back from a crime scene and whilst you were there, you spotted someone suspicious. His body language set him apart from all the other onlookers. That’s when Gibbs’ voice popped into your mind.

Rule 35: Always watch the watchers.

You were the team’s profiler and one of the best. Many agents came by and asked for your thoughts on possible motives or to observe an interrogation. Your journey into psychology and profiling began when you were just 15 years old. When you met Ducky. At that time, he was in the middle of his pursuit of his master’s degree in psychology. The world of the human mind had held a certain mystique that had captivated you from the start, just as much as Ducky's stories did.

When Ducky decided to retire as ME, he personally chose you and Jimmy as his successors. You initially apprehensive about taking that role given the size of the shoes you had to fill but Ducky believed that you were both more than capable to do the job. As it turned out, he was right. As usual.

When you got back to your desk, you immediately started to investigate the onlooker you had seen. You started to run him through facial recognition hoping to find something. Whilst you were waiting for a hit, you looked through the crime scene photos, looking for something you may have missed when you took the photo.

A little over an hour later, your computer beeped, and like meerkats, the team all looked up from their tasks.

“Ooh, sounds like [Y/N] has something,”

You shook your head, you hadn’t found anything, just the name of the onlooker, “No, it’s just an e-mail, ignore it,”

The team exchanged glances but didn’t push any further. You turned your attention to your “e-mail” and began scouring databases, cross-referencing information, and followed his digital trails, determined to find out if he had anything to do with it.

Soon you find out that he’s got a lengthy list of offences, violent ones, “McGee?” you spoke up, shifting in your seat to look at him.

“Yeah?” he asked looking away from his screen giving you his full attention.

“Have you looked into the wife yet?” you asked, leaning back in your chair.

McGee couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't tell me you're following Tony's logic," he teased, referring to their former colleague's penchant for the saying, "It's always the spouse."

You joined in the laughter, shaking your head. "No, just wondering. I mean, I could if you're busy,"

McGee scrunched his eyebrows at you, “Okay, what are you working on over there?” he asked getting increasingly curious.

You glanced around the room and noticed that the entire team had turned their attention to you. You sighed and then looked back at Tim. "Rule 35," you said simply.

“Really? Someone set off your spidey sense?” he asked, you nodded in response.

“Care to share?” Alden asked, “What’s rule 35?”

You chewed your lip, would he be annoyed you kept this to yourself? You opened your mouth to answer but McGee beat you to it.

“Uh, Gibbs’ rule 35. Always watch the watchers,” he explained.

“I uh, saw a man in the crowd of onlookers. His body language was different than everyone else,” you explained further, “It was just a hunch, if it led anywhere, I would tell you guys,”

“And did it?” Alden asked, standing up from his desk and walking over to yours. You looked up at him. Sometimes you wondered how you managed to concentrate at all with how damn sexy he was. All. The. Time. But you did.

“Um, the guy I saw has a restraining order against him by a Naomi Fisher,” you shrugged, “I know that’s the first name of the victim’s wife and…” you stopped when you saw a look on his face, one you couldn’t decipher. Not that you’d tell Nick that, “I’m sorry, I just thought that it was suspicious, I should have told you,” you looked down at your hands on the desk, at the keyboard, anywhere away from his eyes. Beside you, you could hear the clacking of McGee’s keyboard.

“Naomi Wilkes’ maiden name is Fisher,” he spoke up with a laugh.

“Oh, come on,” Torres groaned playfully from the other side of you, “How am I supposed to kiss ass if you’re always using your superpowers?”

Alden smiled at you, “Good job,” he said before turning to walk away.

“Thanks, daddy,” you said, immediately clasping your hands over your mouth. Alden stops dead in his tracks.

The office fell into a stunned silence, and the team's jaws dropped making it clear that they had caught your slip up. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you realized what you had just said. Oh shit. Why did you say that? Because he praised you? Was that your weakness?

What the hell, of course it is. You were surprised you lasted this long.

You quickly looked at Alden, "I'm sorry, Alden,"

He gave you a subtle, reassuring smile, “It’s alright, [Y/N]”

Jess exchanged a knowing glance with Tim, who wore a subtle grin and Nick was trying and failing to suppress his laugh.

“Okay, stay focused still got a case to solve. Everyone back to what they were doing,” Alden said returning to his desk, “[Y/N], create a profile on your onlooker,” he said with a smile.

You smiled back, “Sure,”

***

You delved into both his and Naomi’s background, their relationship going as far back as pre teen years. They dated, he got multiple arrests and she filed a restraining order against him 5 years ago after he almost killed her little brother. He is currently out on parole. You found the number of his officer and rang them up. After the call you find that he’s missed his appointment with his parole officer and can’t be found. You decided to call metro and ask if they could place some officers outside Naomi Wilkes house just in case he returned.

“Okay, I’m done,” you said standing up, you faintly hear Nick mumble ‘this’ll be good,’ he enjoyed watching you analyse things, as did everyone else. Especially Alden, he found it completely sexy.

“His name is Jon Milton. He was recently released from prison on parole however his parole officer doesn’t know where he is. Anyway, he has an obsessive fixation on Naomi. He is unable to accept the end of their relationship. This is a possible motive for the murder of Craig Wilkes, likely an attempt to regain control over her and may even be punishment for her moving on. He’s narcissistic, he believes he is entitled to her affection, her love, her loyalty. He sees her choices as a direct threat to his self-esteem and he reacts with anger and violence to reassert his dominance. He has a violent history which indicates that he has often resorted to aggression as a means of gaining control. He’s delusional. He’s convinced himself that killing Naomi’s husband was the only way to regain her affections. He also exhibits psychopathic traits. He’s lacking empathy or remorse for his actions. His return to the crime scene to watch Naomi grieve her husband's death demonstrates sadistic tendencies. He derives pleasure from her pain and relishes in his own cruel actions,” you finished your presentation of your findings and looked to everyone.

“I believe he did it,” you added, nodding your head to his picture on the screen, “I also believe he will continue to harm those near her. I called Metro and asked them to have officers posted outside her house,”

As the team mobilized to verify your hunch about the onlooker being the murderer, your investigation took a turn. McGee began combing through stolen car reports, cross-referencing them with camera footage from the victim's neighborhood. Soon, on one of the cameras, he spotted the stolen car, parked on the same street as the victim's residence.

Meanwhile, Kasie, the team's forensic expert, was hard at work analyzing evidence from the crime scene. She finally came across all the prints you pulled from the porch banister. Kasie ran it through the database. It matched the onlooker's known prints. This was another piece of the puzzle falling into place.

As you all pieced together these findings, your phone rang. Your BOLO alert had come back. The onlooker had just been spotted a few streets away from his ex's house. You thanked the man and immediately called the officers that were sat outside her house to warn them and let them know they were on their way.

“He’s just been spotted a few streets away from the Wilkes’ house,”

“Alright let’s move,” Alden said as he started gearing up.

***

Later that night, after you all got back after arresting Milton, you were all back in the bullpen. McGee was getting ready to leave. So were Jess and Nick, but they all noticed that you and Alden weren’t moving.

“So, uh,” Torres spoke up, “Was he playing with his plants or…”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” you laughed at him.

“Yeah, please don’t,” McGee begged.

“Okay, okay,” he said walking away, towards the elevator, “Don’t stay up too late!” he called over before the doors shut.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, you knew he wanted to keep it a secret. Well not so much a secret, just he preferred to keep your professional relationship and your personal relationship separate.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alden reassured you again, “At least you don’t have to come up with all these different lies anymore. When Torres asks you to hang out you can just say you’d rather hang out with me,”

#reader insert #female reader #alden parker #alden parker imagine #alden parker x reader #ncis x reader #ncis

73 notes · View notes

vague-humanoid · 1 year

Text

Just a few days before our interview, Jill’s (Ed: not her real name) immunologist sent her to the hospital to rule out pulmonary embolism, which happens when a blood clot gets stuck in an artery of the lung. In Jill’s case it would be a Long COVID symptom amongst many others she had been battling over the last year: including swelling around the tissue of her heart, memory deficits, sudden heart-rate surges, fatigue and abnormal kidney test results.

By that point, she’d had COVID four times, despite taking stringent precautions. She was born with a primary immune deficiency. And, without a fully functioning immune system she needs weekly injections of human immunoglobulins from plasma donations. A very small viral load can make her sick and she’s at a much higher risk of severe outcomes from COVID than most people.

“Every time I catch it, it adds new layers to my disabilities,” she says. “COVID is slowly killing me.” Her haematologist believes the past COVID infections have further damaged her immune system. She is looking at a possible lupus diagnosis.

Her voice is raspy and soft over the phone. She pauses when I ask how she is doing.

“Well, I got COVID,” she says. “Again.”

At the hospital appointment several nurses were not wearing their masks properly, and one kept pulling it down to talk with Jill, who had to remove hers to get her lungs checked. As someone who is very isolated with her family — everyone works and goes to school from home — Jill believes that the appointment led to her most recent infection.

She’s always been careful with her health but in the past, she worked in the school system. By 2020 she moved to a remote position and at that time still had many options for safely connecting with those around her and she could attend health-care appointments without concern. About a year ago, nearly all restrictions were lifted in Alberta and that’s when she got her first COVID infection.

Three years in, nearly everyone she knows has moved on including — most bafflingly to her — many of the medical professionals she sees. But, Jill says, moving on is not a privilege afforded to people like her.

Recently, PCR testing became inaccessible to health-care providers, who, in the past, were able to test regularly. And while Alberta Health Services (AHS) still requires masks, any health-care settings outside AHS can make their own rules. So, once masking was no longer mandated in public settings, many dropped requirements — this includes many of the specialists seeing immunocompromised people, including those Jill now sees due to Long COVID.

“The variants have been left to run rampant and I have really become more and more scared,” she says.

“Governments are saying: Oh we can re-open because we have all these tools. But they are not available to the immunocompromised population. So, the monoclonal antibodies are no longer effective against the current variants. Because the variants are so immune-based, the vaccines were never particularly effective for immunocompromised people because of the nature of our immune systems.”

As well, Jill says that there are many contraindicated drugs that cannot be taken with Paxlovid, the drug which is used to treat COVID patients in specific circumstances. According to Health Canada, Paxlovid “is used in adults to treat mild to moderate coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) in patients who have a positive result from a severe acute respiratory syndrome Coronavirus 2 viral test and who have a high risk of getting severe COVID-19, including hospitalization or death.”

She still takes the vaccines with hopes they will help, and while she believes Paxlovid is saving her life with this current infection, she says it is not a guarantee against more Long COVID symptoms. And, for the infection prior to the current one, the drug was not available due to a kidney infection caused by the virus.

“I have to access my medication, my health care. And by people not masking around me, I have no way to protect myself,” she says. “If you don’t want to wear masks as a society then you are going to leave the immunocompromised people behind.” And she says many high risk people are not able to work from home, or have their kids in online classes or maybe struggle to afford masks or air purifiers — many social and financial issues make individual protections far more challenging or impossible. She is currently in a court battle with her ex.

“He wants increased access, in-person school and group extracurricular activities. All things that put me at higher risk of infection,” says Jill.

Recently, she went to her cardiologist to find that no patients or staff were masking.

“I really realize now I have to be my own advocate,” she says.

She has to constantly think ahead. So, she now calls beforehand to see if the appointment can be done remotely or if the staff can mask. She’s also decided to start carrying around a laminated sheet that explains her medical condition as it is often something she needs to repeat at each appointment or in the emergency room.   Like many others, she’s found ways to navigate her way around a harrowing array of risks. And yet, even with all these precautions, she can not control the actions of others which can directly affect her health.

Holly (Ed: not her real name), is retired and lives in a small community just outside Edmonton. She’s currently thinking about her next visit to her doctor, who hasn’t been taking precautions from the beginning.

“It’s exhausting always trying to get around how there is no protection for us anymore,” she says. “I’m thinking why am I made to feel crazy when my own doctor won’t wear a mask? Won’t acknowledge that it’s airborne?”

But the worst part, she claims, was that he minimized the effects of COVID, saying it was rarely an issue and only affects a certain demographic. Holly does not believe that is true, but regardless it is of little comfort when her husband, who’s in his 70s, has chronic health complications.

“I think patients are rightfully concerned, particularly when they go in for health care,” says physician Neeja Bakshi. “I think the medical community should be doing whatever we can to protect those who are coming in.”

It’s true, she says, that hospitals are no longer overwhelmed, and fewer people are dying; there is less of an acute emergency. But COVID is still circulating, people are still dying, and Long COVID (aka post COVID-19 condition) should be on everyone’s radar.

Recently, the World Health Organization announced an end to the global health emergency. But it also said earlier that “one in 10 infections result in post COVID-19 condition suggesting that hundreds of millions of people will need longer term care.”

COVID can cause organ damage — particularly affecting the heart, kidneys, skin. Plus, there’s risk of brain and immune damage, along with increased risks for cancer and autoimmune disease.

And, while no one knows yet how long that damage could persist, a study published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine says 59 per cent of Long COVID patients had organ damage a year later.

In 2022, Bakshi started a Long COVID clinic at her health facility Park Integrative Health, treating patients from across Canada. Every week she completes upwards of 20 disability forms for people who need to take time off work due to the debilitating effects of Long COVID.

While certain health complications make Long COVID more likely, anyone can be affected regardless of the severity of their infection or the state of their health. The indiscriminate nature of COVID is one of the things that’s been most shocking to Bakshi. She’s treated a number of elite athletes who went from performing at a professional level to struggling to have enough energy to brush their teeth.

Many patients struggle with stigma not just from medical professionals but from family, friends and employers. It’s an invisible illness, says Bakshi, so patients may look fine and are often misdiagnosed as something psychosomatic.

“I’m immersed in the world. But I don’t feel like you can deny it exists. And I think it’s a bit of ignorance on the medical community’s part if they say they don’t know anything about Long COVID. There are very specific disease patterns and symptoms,” says Bakshi.

There is also a lack of support. The most proven management strategy for Long COVID or even any COVID infection is recovery and rest, says Bakshi. But that’s not possible for many people. Initially, in 2020, there was forced rest through quarantine periods, but that time off has become shorter, as employers don’t have to pay for employees to be off at all.

“We are not a society that is built on support. We’ve already set ourselves up to fail from a recovery perspective,” says Bakshi.

Jill has found validation in Bakshi’s clinic as one of her patients. But that experience stands out amongst a sea of specialists who have given up on precautions.

“Instead of recommending upgraded masks, air cleaners and UV, or working from home, immunologists that manage my condition recommend wearing a mask if you want and enjoying your life—as short as that may be. I am not sure if this is complacency, or giving up… Either way, education and change need to happen or far too many valuable lives will be lost and disabled unnecessarily,” says Jill.

Savvy AF. Blunt AF. Edmonton AF.

243 notes · View notes

vickyvicarious · 8 months

Note

Oh No. You made me aware of the implications of Mina's words (when Mina says that some may say that this is a happy occasion for her and Jonathan) that she nay already be dealing with peoples' Whispering or subtle comments... from Hawkins' circle perhaps.

Yeah. :(

See, the thing is, there has been talk since last year of an outside perspective of all this with various degrees of apparent shadiness in different characters (I think I made a post about exactly that last year). But most of those takes I've seen deal with people suspecting our main characters of outright murder. Arthur, getting into Mrs. Westenra's will and then killing her and Lucy off with the help of his doctor friends to cover up for him. Or even just killing Lucy after her mother dies and leaves everything to him. Jonathan and Mina killing Mr. Hawkins in order to inherit everything he has, including Jonathan's big promotion shortly beforehand. It's all very sinister-sounding stuff.

But it doesn't have to be that bad, even in other peoples' minds. For Arthur, his father's illness seems like something that would have been well-known, and of course he was due to inherit everything from him anyway since they were quite close and he has no siblings. It sounds like there were rumors going around about him and Lucy, so their engagement wouldn't have been a surprise. Mrs. Westenra kept her illness secret from Lucy, but not really the other characters, and it's possible she would have allowed some other friends in on the secret too, so her death might not be a surprise either. Lucy's illness was abrupt and tragic, but having a friendly doctor consult/care for an invalid at home wouldn't have been anything too weird, so it's not necessarily ringing alarm bells. The weirdest part is the inheritance and the super-fast funeral, but in addition to Arthur getting potentially more leeway since he's so high-status, the knowledge of his father's death at about the same time might have led people to be more excusing of him even if they didn't like how he conducted the funeral. The inheritance is really weird though, and I could see even people who trust he wasn't responsible for any deaths believing that he maybe manipulated or pressured an ill woman to convince her to sign off Lucy's money to him when he knows she's likely to die much sooner than Mrs. Westenra thinks. And then he had them both buried as fast as possible and tried to move right past it. Not necessarily murder, but scummy. Even then though, I feel like most people wouldn't be saying this kind of thing openly even if it did run through their minds - and it would be less likely to occur to most in the first place since they know Arthur more already.

But while Arthur's status, both as a rich and presumably well-liked member of high-society, and someone who was known to be close to both the Westenras before they fell ill, serves to make people more forgiving of him... Jonathan and Mina don't have any of that.

Jonathan didn't already have money, to point to and say "he didn't need to inherit that wealth anyway." Jonathan didn't have his own property to make him getting that house less weird. He didn't already have his own staff, he didn't already have his own title/job even. He worked for Mr. Hawkins. He literally only just became a lawyer a couple of months ago, and he hasn't even been in the country let alone actively involved in the practice for most of the time since then. His meteoric rise is definitely weird, especially if you consider that his relationship with Mr. Hawkins, pre-trip, seems to have been pretty professional. Maybe he and his boss both secretly were more fond of one another than that, but I don't get the sense they expressed it very much.

So it's much easier to make the jump to the Harkers killing Mr. Hawkins. But there's a leap that's even easier than that and in some ways sadder. We know that Mr. Hawkins didn't have family, and apparently his funeral wasn't super well attended. His gout had been an ongoing issue, and while that alone isn't typically enough to kill someone it can go along with other illnesses. Jonathan had worked for him since he was a boy, and then his first business trip went wrong.

I think it could be quite easy for people to assume that Jonathan was ambitious, and deliberately played on the feelings of a lonely, sick old man. Perhaps he manipulated his guilt as a way to get 'in' with him past professional roles, and then started acting the part of a son in order to con Mr. Hawkins into giving him everything. Again, it doesn't have to be murder to still be mercenary and cold.

At the very least, if you're an old acquaintance of Mr. Hawkins, or someone who has worked with him for a while, the sudden appointment of his former clerk as his chief mourner, heir to all his wealth and his legal practice - it definitely seems odd enough to attribute to greed. Jonathan and Mina don't have any social status or wealth to protect them from that, and so I feel like they could get a lot more open suspicion or scorn or snubbing than Arthur ever would. No one ever has to say a word about it looking like murder; they could make 'jokes' about the Harkers 'lucking out' or at least 'landing on their feet' with a certain tone and that would be enough to be quite hurtful (and yeah, Mina's line suggests that at least she suspects some are saying that). They could easily not give accounts to them, or back out of existing contracts, and apologize by saying they were used to counting on Mr. Hawkins' many years of experience, but Mr. Harker is... newer to this. They could just fail to make any social offers, in a way that the Harker probably couldn't call anyone out on. And so on.

#dracula daily #mr. hawkins #jonathan harker #mina murray #arthur holmwood #burekstation #replies #it's not necessarily that bad but it could be much more easily than it could for arthur i think #without anyone to speak for them they are kinda stuck #hence another reason for jonathan to be flinging himself all the harder into his work because if he fails to prove himself that will only #seem like justification for any rumors

59 notes · View notes

calabria-mediterranea · 3 months

Text

Vintage photo of women mourning the death of Christ, while they accompany the Virgin during an Easter procession.

Photo taken in Cassano Allo Ionio, Calabria, Italy by Carlo Paone in the 1980s.

Professional mourning or paid mourning is an occupation that originates from Mediterranean and Near Eastern cultures. Professional mourners, also called moirologists, were compensated to lament or deliver a eulogy and help comfort and entertain the grieving family.

In ancient Egypt, the mourners would be making an ostentatious display of grief which included tearing at dishevelled hair, loud wailing, beating of exposed breasts, and smearing the body with dirt. There are many inscriptions on tombs and pyramids of crowds of people following a body throughout the funerary procession.

However, the most important of these women were the two impersonating the two godddesses Isis and Nephthys.

Isis and Nephthys were both Egyptian goddesses who were believed to play a special role when someone died. They were to be impersonated as a mourning ritual by professional mourners. In most inscriptions seen, one of them is at either end of the corpse.

Meanwhile, Ancient Greek mourners were known as moirologists. In true Greek fashion, it was a position that added a dramatic flair to funerary practices. Moirologists gave performances that represented the life of the deceased, and they led chants with cries and wails to honor the dead.

In Roman history, mourners were hired to accompany funerary rituals and were often thought to be theatrical. In early history the public mourners, called praeficiae, would follow musicians in a funeral procession to sing for the dead.

Reports of the survival of this use occur in even more recent times in Southern Italy, especially in Sicily, Apulia and Calabria, where until the 1980s, in some mountain villages of the hinterlands, it was possible to witness such harrowing scenes.

21 notes · View notes

icarusmonsoon · 10 months

Text

healed wounds, mender hearts pt III - rafe cameron

rafe cameron x reader

nothing much is going on in this chapter, just a filler chapter following the previous one. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part I

Part II

___________________________________________

The weight of the unconscious form in his arms felt both fragile and burdensome, like he was carrying a precious treasure that could shatter at any moment. Rafe's heart pounded in his chest, not just from the physical exertion of holding Y/n's body, but from the fear and guilt that clawed at him. He couldn't believe how much he had let things spiral out of control, how much he had lost sight of himself and the consequences of his actions.

Now, the consequences were staring him in the face, and he knew he had to make things right. Gently, he laid Y/n down on a nearby crate, his hands shaking with trepidation. His fingers hovered over her wound, unsure of what to do. He desperately wished he had some medical knowledge, but he wasn't even sure how to properly clean and dress the injury.

He berated himself for not paying attention during first aid classes, for being too reckless and impulsive.As the reality of the situation sunk in, Rafe's mind was flooded with regret and remorse. He remembered all the times he had acted callously, the times he had hurt people physically and emotionally, all in the pursuit of his father's approval. He thought about how he had let his obsession with the cross blind him to the real dangers around him, including the ones he had inadvertently caused.

Tears welled up in Rafe's eyes as he looked at Y/n's still form. He felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for her well-being, and he knew he had to do everything in his power to ensure she survived. He took off his shirt and ripped it into strips, using them to try and staunch the bleeding from her wound. He winced as he saw her flinch in response to his touch, reminding him that he was the last person she would want taking care of her.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the ship's noises. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted you to get hurt." He swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions in check. He knew he couldn't afford to break down now; he had to stay focused and keep her safe.

With trembling hands, Rafe retrieved his phone again and dialed the ship's infirmary, praying that someone would pick up on the other end. He explained the situation as best as he could, stumbling over his words and trying to convey the urgency of the situation. When he finally got through to the doctor, he was instructed on how to stabilize Y/n until they could reach the infirmary.

Rafe felt a mix of relief and anxiety as he followed the doctor's instructions. He was afraid of doing something wrong, of causing more harm than good. He kept talking to Y/n, hoping that his voice would somehow reach her unconscious mind and let her know that he was trying to help.

As he waited for the medical team to arrive, Rafe's mind drifted to the events that led them to this moment. He thought about the treasure hunt, the rivalry between his family and the pogues, and how it had all escalated into this chaotic mess. He couldn't help but feel responsible for the violence and danger that had overtaken their lives.His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps.

The medical team had arrived, and Rafe quickly stepped back to give them space. He watched anxiously as they assessed Y/n's condition, their faces serious and focused. The doctor acknowledged Rafe with a nod, silently acknowledging his efforts in stabilizing her.

Rafe felt a mix of gratitude and guilt as the medical team took over. He knew he had done what he could, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he had caused all of this. He stayed by Y/n's side as they prepared to transport her to the infirmary, his heart heavy with worry and regret.

Once Y/n was safely in the hands of the medical professionals, Rafe found himself feeling lost. He didn't know what to do next, where to go, or how to face the consequences of his actions. He knew he had to confront his father and put an end to this dangerous quest for the cross, but he also knew that it wouldn't be easy on him. After all, Ward's validation is all he ever wanted. And he was so close to getting what he wants, in exchange of the safety of the only person he can ever think about. The person he genuinely have feelings for.

Rafe's not sure what his feelings are, what he actually want. But as he wandered through the ship, Rafe's mind was a whirlwind of emotions. But one thing he knows for sure, he genuinely cared about Y/n.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe smut #rafe outer banks #obx #obx enemies to lovers #rafe cameron enemies to lovers #outerbanks smut #outer banks #smut #fluff #angst #forced proximity #jj maybank #pope heyward #john b routledge #kiara carrera #sarah cameron

83 notes · View notes

twinsarekeepers · 1 year

Text

Let me preface this by saying, I’m a pre-med student who works in a psychology lab as a research assistant and has also worked in a doctor’s office with actual patients. A lot of my opinions about this ending are informed by that aspect of myself, but that does not mean I don’t understand the incredible weight and horror of Joel’s decision either. I am also a writer and the narrative of a parent’s love being that destructive is so compelling.

However, it’s not more important to me than making sure people know how egregiously terrible the Fireflies are. Because the logic that something can morally outweigh informed consent is what has led to some truly horrific, catastrophic events in our REAL human history. Henrietta Lacks, the Tuskegee study, and the CIA’s fake vaccination drive in Pakistan come to mind immediately for me. These are all events that I encourage everyone to learn about.

Putting all that aside for now, objectively, Jerry Anderson was stupid and wrong in every way possible. You never ever want to completely destroy the subject you are working on, ESPECIALLY if that is the only one you have. Because wtf are you going to do if your experiment doesn’t work? You killed the one source! Literally anything would’ve been better than KILLING ELLIE?? Killing her should be the very last resort after exhausting every other possible avenue, which they didn’t. (Before someone tells me that I need to suspend my disbelief … no. The whole show is rooted in realism and that this is a possibility SCIENTIFICALLY … so I’m going to think about it with my science brain, I’m sorry!)

Now onto the part that I know y’all are going to get your panties in a twist about, Ellie herself and her capacity to give consent. Which in my opinion, coming from someone whose literal job it is to get informed consent, she did not have.

Bodily autonomy and agency is obviously very important but you would never let your child run into oncoming traffic because “oh, it’s their body and I’d be violating their autonomy and agency if I physically held them back!!” Like no. That’s a child that doesn’t fully grasp what they are doing or what is going on around them so you as the adult must make the decision to not let them harm themselves.

Ellie is a slew of red flags to someone who would be searching for participants for an experiment. For one, Ellie is a child. Getting informed consent from a child is already hard because their brains are not developed enough to fully grasp and understand what they’d be agreeing to. Two, Ellie has gone through immense trauma and is suffering from the worst case of survivor’s guilt to possibly ever exist. She literally feels like the only way to compensate for her loss is to die. She is the definition of passively suicidal. The way I would rule her out of a study so fast and send her links to every helpline I know. And yes, I know that she can never actually get the help she needs. But in my opinion, she is not in any way able to give consent and Jerry and nurses should’ve been very aware of that.

So, the fact that the Fireflies are just medically inept, and on top of that, didn’t care to get consent, and even if they had, it wouldn’t matter because Ellie is not in a position to be making that kind of decision, makes them very, very wrong.

Does that make Joel right? No. Because Joel wasn’t thinking about any of that. He believed that the Fireflies knew what they were doing, that they had a shot at making a cure and he also knew what Ellie would want (again, she’s still not a position to give consent but JOEL DOESN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE HE’S NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL) and he still chose to save Ellie over … the entire world. And then he lied to her about it.

(And the lie was to protect her emotionally because he knows she takes on so much blame and he doesn’t want to cause even MORE damage and pile on top of that insane survivor’s guilt … but lying to a teenager is never the way to go, they always know).

TLDR: it is very, very complicated!

#the last of us #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #jerry anderson

113 notes · View notes

jinx-on-mars-19xx · 18 days

Text

Monsters Are People

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, threats, night terrors, insomnia, overprotective Dom, underlings being idiots, mentions of murder, past abuse, past assault (SA), M being absolutely awful, attempting to out someone, guns, knives, mentions of castration, stalking, scared boys, Collette being sneaky, anxiety, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

The couple didn't make it into work until a little late the next day. They'd spent the night and early morning showering off the mess they'd made of each other and cuddling in bed, too tired to continue their play. Though around dawn they'd had their first instance of a child banging on their door in fear. Blain had slept terribly and had a night terror he couldn't seem to escape from. They were happy to sit up with him in the living room watching tv until both he and Colson fell asleep, one leaning on Dom’s shoulder and the other in his lap. The Alpha didn't move until they woke but couldn't bring himself to rest. He didn't think he would be able to until Megan was taken care of.

Kells hadn't expected to click so well with the teen so quickly but Blain hadn't much left their side since his nightmare. He wouldn't talk about it but they could see the darkness behind his eyes and Col didn't mind having yet another shadow. The kid was small but they found a crop top that fit him like a tee. He barely came up to Col’s sternum so everything else was out but the clothes he wore over. When the young omega asked to go to work with them he promised to stop at a few stores along the way which got him a look and a plea for ‘only where Dom goes’. Rude but alright. His style wasn't that far off from his mate's but since he had to act professional he couldn't always show it. He could let kids be kids though. Especially since they were all getting along.

The boss could tell his lover was drained but the other man just kept pushing himself. It was his second night at least with no sleep and he was running on fumes, ADHD, and fucking Dr. Pepper. The taste on his lips made Colson’s nose wrinkle but whatever helped he supposed. After an impromptu shopping trip and a late breakfast they got to their basement building to find a mess. The underlings led by Pete were visiting and trying to apologize but they weren't supposed to fucking be there.

Most of the office was part of their cover, A PR company that controlled a good portion of the area's nightlife and funneled money to charities from rich assholes trying to get richer. Of course the only public relations they worked on were the side companies Kells actually owned but the cover still helped and the street boys knew not to fuck with it. Finding them outside his office was a middle finger to more of his rules than he could stand for after having Megan shit all over them. He knew he needed to put his foot down but fuck he was tired. He just wanted to make a plan about her and ignore everything else.

“Why they here?” Blain grumbled from behind him as Col led the way past the crowd. The kid had noticed two of the beta's who helped keep him hostage the day before.

“Because they're fucking idiots with a death wish. Come on, let's get you settled with Tom and Mod.” He sighed as he shut the door behind him, right in Pete’s face.

“But I want to see wha’ you do. Especially if you ripping them a new one. I'll be good. Won't even notice me.”

Colson shared a look with his mate over the boy's head but the killer just shrugged. He didn't exactly believe the kid but he wouldn't kick him out. They wanted him to feel welcome even if that meant he saw the gritty truth of their lives. He had to learn it sooner or later and he'd already watched them both commit murder- with his help. What was a bit of yelling and threats of violence after that?

The boy stayed mostly hidden between them until they were settled in the main meeting room, after getting introductions out of the way and seeing how comfortable the couple was he seemed to relax and gravitated to Tom and Mod anyway. The boss had thought his mother would love him but yet again she was missing. It was starting to worry him, especially since Tim was at the table. She'd been mostly absent since the break in and he really hoped she wasn't trying to take her own revenge. Sometimes she liked to be the matriarch but he was the leader of the family. Mostly. Normally. Well fuck he was supposed to be.

After making sure to get his jacket settled and his glasses fixed above his nose the omega allowed Pete to enter with his tail between his legs. He caught the way Blain watched him hide and for the first time he felt a little shame. He couldn't let everyone know but at the same time he didn't want to make the boy think he couldn't be himself. He had to push the worry away for the time being but he'd revisit it later with Dom. Maybe his closest men were fine with following an omega but everyone knowing? He'd be run out of town. It was a sweet thought hoping to change the world for the kids but it couldn't happen and he shouldn't be the example. He'd never even thought about it before.

“Boss, I'm sorry I went along with her without asking you first but she said it was a gift for you! She told me she searched all over and found your stolen shipment and she could guarantee a reward and that I'd finally get a seat at the table. I didn't even think! She's always been your second. Was she really stealing from you?” Pete was obviously terrified but completely confused. Colson hadn't even worked out how to explain without giving too much away. He'd been too busy the day before.

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, he had a pounding headache already and just wanted a nap. He'd walked around too much while out shopping and he was really starting to second guess his want to be the boss. Where was the good again? “How long have you worked for me Pete? Have I ever allowed anyone to surprise me?”

“No boss. You fucking hate surprises. I've been with you a decade and I know better. She's just so-”

“What? Manipulative? Hot? Controlling? What are you about to call her? You gonna say she's an Alpha and you can't deny her? Did she fuck you to obey?” He wasn't normally so catty and he knew he was trying to catch the beta in a trap. It wasn't fair but he was overheated and his hormones were running amok.

“N-no! Of course not! I'd never fuck your girl, boss! Swear! I thought it was different because it was her! She said she'd be in charge soon and she'd make sure I got promoted. I figured it was a wedding gift or some shit. It's not my place to question your old lady.”

Colson felt like he'd been hit in the face and his shock was so strong his eye twitched behind his purple shades. His lover swallowed a growl beside him but it was Blain who laughed. “Wrong Alpha, dick bag!”

Someone must have given him a look because his next giggle was muffled but Pete still looked at the boss even more conflicted and ashamed. “So you aren't banging her? When she said she'd be in charge I just assumed…”

“Yeah and look at you making an ass out of yourself. Look… Ten years right? Maybe I should have promoted you already, maybe that's my bad. I think this proves it wasn't though. But at the same time if you were part of my circle you'd already know she's on the outs. What were her exact fucking words?” Colson asked as he leaned forward on his seat. It was hard to be intimidating when trying to hide a baby bump but he still saw the fear in the beta's eyes.

“She just said ‘I’ll be your boss soon, don't worry about Daddy, I'll take care of him. If you help me with this and bring your boys I swear you'll get a seat.’ and some shit about she knew how bad I wanted it. She said she planned to branch out and we'd be even bigger than just LA. Made it sound like she'd keep me in mind for some big shit in the future. She's damn good boss. A fucking snake.” All the energy seemed to go out of the man and he leaned against the wall. He seemed entirely defeated and probably thought he wasn't walking out alive. The thought of shooting him did go through the boss's mind, especially when he called him daddy in the mock girl voice but… he couldn't decide yet.

“Thank you for telling me. Whatever she meant… It wasn't about us getting married.” Kells shuddered at the thought. “I need you to check in with everyone outside and make sure they don't know anything extra. After that send them the fuck away and remind them of my rules. If they show up here again without invitation they're worse than fired.” He watched the man nod and swallow hard, probably thinking the same applied to himself. “Come back after to update me. I'll have a decision about you then.”

The go-between stumbled out, even saluting Colson in his fear. He was trying so hard to make up for his mistake and the boss knew that. He also knew the idiot had served him well for ten years. Maybe he needed to let new people in sometimes. “Tim, good to see you back. I hope you're planning to stay?” He asked the older man who was sat at the other end of the table. He looked like he belonged there because he had. Anyone who Travis trusted was good in his book.

“Thanks brother. I figured I might help out until this situation is resolved. Maybe longer. It's nice to be back.”

Kells looked around the room at his nearest and dearest, he wished his mother was among them but he supposed some decisions could be made without her. They couldn't keep putting shit off. “First, anyone have anything against bringing Pete in? He's been good before this.”

“You're actually asking? You're the boss bro. Pete's cool enough and he's got a good rep with our dealers and the other buyers and shit. I think it'd be good to keep him close.” Rook shrugged and they all went around the table agreeing.

“So that's that.” Col nodded, glancing to his mate next to him who just watched everything happening. He looked so tired the omega wanted to send him home for a nap. “So Megan…” He started the conversation instead and Dom sat up straighter automatically.

“I vote we kill her.” Blain spoke up and Kells fought not to roll his eyes.

“Does half pint get a vote?” Rook asked which got a glare from the kid.

“You got a mirror? Obviously not wiv tha' mop ya call hair.” Blain snarked back and Rook burst out laughing.

“I like this one. Can we keep him?”

“We're adopting him so yeah. I mean… as much as you can adopt without paperwork. We’ll get you new papers actually, Mod?” It hit the omega they should have thought of that already and his actual second in command nodded. He and Tom had been quiet and to themselves all day but whatever was up with them was too much for the boss. He had a lot on his plate already.

“You fucking wha’ mate?” The young boy asked, his spring green eyes wide as if he hadn't even dared to think about that.

“Yeah. What did you think we meant? We'll get you papers. If you want to talk about this at home though..?” It started to dawn on the man that it might be a little overwhelming. Especially since he'd only moved in the day before. He was so used to taking in people but deep down he knew this was different.

Dom laid a hand on his knee under the table and patted softly and he reached to twine their fingers. “Yeah um… later. Fanks.” Blain explained softly and sat back in his chair but didn't look away from them.

“So besides death, what are our options with Megan?” Tom brought the conversation back around thankfully and opened up the floor to suggestions. No matter how much she deserved it, it hurt the man to think about taking her out.

“You do it or I do.” The Alpha spoke up and though Colson already knew it still surprised him. Dom didn't normally speak up during work.

“I know.” Kells whispered, taking off his glasses and setting them on the table to rub his temples for a moment. He needed the world to pause it's spinning, he really didn't feel well.

Of course it didn't though and like the old adage when spoken about the devil appeared. Megan stalked her way into the office with Pete running behind her seemingly trying to stop her before she could. Her heels clacked on the marble floor and when she got to the table she glared down at Blain in her spot. Of course it was normally Collette’s now, Dom was on his other side. There wasn't a seat for the female Alpha because she no longer belonged. It felt final enough for Col but it obviously didn't say shit to her. Narcissism was hard to break through.

“Daddy-”

“I tried to stop her boss. I'm sorry!”

Colson held up his hand to them both and glared. A part of him said to put back on the glasses but there was no reason to hide. Not with her. He wanted her to know an omega ruled here and she had no place in his family. “How the fuck did you think you could waltz in here after the shit you pulled? Stealing from me? Trying to sell omegas I saved? Going to my fucking enemies? What part of the past few months has told you you're even allowed on the goddamned property?”

She tried to look contrite and pout but he saw through every fake look she'd ever given him. Her whole existence was starting to feel like a lie as she stood there and seemed to work through her options. Eventually she stood up straight and crossed her arms, dropping any mask of false familial love or respect. “I think you understand the gravity of your situation now Daddy. You know what I know. You can say yes to me and we share everything, I'll even let you keep your title- but not the pet. He's barely fucking housebroken and I want your devotion. Or I can tell everyone the truth and you lose everything. I think it's a simple question. Besides, you already know I know how to make you scream.”

She couldn't see the look on Dominic’s face because she was standing partially behind him but Kells could. Calling him a pet was one thing, the Alpha could handle that, but her last implication of the time she assaulted his mate was too far. His tired eyes were crimson and his lip was raised in a quiet snarl. If she moved to touch his partner he would kill her. Full stop.

“Oh and anything the mutt gave you, that's gone too but don't worry. If you want to be a real family we can be.” She cooed.

Dom had his blade out and was about to lunge before Kells stopped him. He didn't want more blood shed in the office. Thankfully his mate had only made it as far as pulling the knife and Megan hadn't even realized how close to death she was. Colson patted his lover's thigh under the table to soothe him before he sat back and arched a brow at her. “Yeah, I don't think so. I think instead you're fired. Cut off. Out on your ass and blacklisted. If you don't leave California I'll let him finish what he's desperate to start. Honestly, I'd leave the States if I were you. I can't keep him leashed all the time.” He gave her a faux pleasant smile.

“Fine! It's your funeral.” She huffed, stomping her way closer to the middle of the table. “Everyone! I know I should have told you sooner and I'm sorry I didn't but I thought Travis would want me to protect his dirty secret.” Her voice was that whiny pitch that meant she was trying to seem genuine. It hurt Col's head. “I'm ashamed to admit that as amazing as Travis was, he was lying to all of us and so is Colson. I thought he could be a good leader anyway but he's the same as they all are.”

Kells pushed himself to stand up as he let her keep rambling and he slowly started unbuttoning his jacket and laid it behind him on the chair. He was left in a shirt that obviously showed off his stomach but she didn't seem to notice. Too wrapped up in her pitiful tale.

“I found out when he was young and tried to sleep with me. You all know how much I loved Travis, we all did. But I always thought he and I had a special relationship. I can say that without Collette here, I'm just trying to be honest.” That made Colson chuckle but she just raised her voice and ignored him. “When she stopped my relationship with him I was heartbroken and thought Cols would be good for me. He was young but, you know why not? At least I could be part of the family.” It made the omega's stomach roll to think about, especially when he looked to Blain and knew he'd been about that age. It would be like Dom trying to sleep with him. Absolutely fucking not. “I should have told you all when he took Travis's place but I didn't think he'd let his designation run his life. But no, he just rolled over and presented for the first asshole Alpha he came across. Our boss is an omega and I think we all know I can take care of us better. Travis would want me to.”

Everyone stayed silent as they looked between her and Kells who was sitting back and holding Dom’s hand on top of the table. Eventually Rook spoke up, even raised his hand and the boss had to fight back a laugh. “Can I tell her?” He asked and Col nodded. “We know Megs. We know about boss and the baby and we like Dom.” He explained simply. “It's gross as shit you know what we do and would still talk about omegas like that.”

“Um I'm new ‘ere but wouldn't you ‘ave been the first asshole Alpha he saw? Seems like he didn't present for you.” Blain added his two cents and she glared at him. The boy wasn't wrong but the fact that she knew… he still wasn't sure who fucked who between them.

Tim spoke up next which kept Col from fully spiraling. “Travis wouldn't have touched you with a ten foot pole, he was head over heels for Collete and he loved Col like the good father he was. After all he did to keep your dad out of jail you should be more thankful. You're just lucky we don't deal with traitors like we used to. At least they might leave you with a pretty corpse.”

“I won't.” Dom growled softly and the room went quiet around them. When the Alpha stood up Kells let him. He could at least give him the respect of trusting he knew what he was doing. They'd taken a big step on trust the night before and he wanted to do better. Dom wasn't a slave to his instincts but she'd threatened his family one too many times. He knew there was a blade hidden in the boy's hand but he kept it from view and didn't even appear that threatening as he stared her down. “So you fucked Travis aye?” He hummed. She seemed confused by his change of tone but obviously tried not to show it.

“I- we wanted to. He had to act like I didn't matter but I know we wanted to.” For a moment there was almost something genuine in her voice and it made them start to wonder if she was mental.

“And because ya couldn't ya moved on to ‘is boy? Next best fing.” He asked, his tone almost conversational. Colson wasn't sure how his lover held his rage back.

“Colson and I were drawn to each other. Twin flames. He's supposed to be my omega.”

“But you fhought he were an Alpha when you took ‘im to bed?”

“Of course. I was just trying to give him birthday sex. I felt violated that he'd lied to all of us.”

“So he fucked you?”

“He was black out drunk, you really think he could get it up?”

“Course yeah. Omegas ‘ave trouble staying ‘ard anyway. Add booze-”

“Among other things.”

“Among over fings… So you topped?”

“Once I realized what he was, how could I not? What are you getting at here? Do you like hearing about his conquests? What kind of Alpha are you?”

“Oh jus' one wiv principles and a list of fings I ‘ate. You drugged and assaulted an underage omega under the old boss's protection. Armstrong, wha’ would ‘ave been done bout tha’?” Finally the Alpha flipped open his blade and even though she tried to act strong and was on the other side of the table she backed up a few steps.

“Oh-ho fuck. Before Trav made the streets a bit nicer? Castration. Alphas normally didn't live through it. Not that they'd want to.” Tim laughed, sitting back in his seat to cross his arms and enjoy the scent of her fear.

Dom didn't even seem to put effort into a jump; he just appeared to spring up onto the table. It irked Colson but watching his lover crouch with his feet flat always weirdly turned him on. That was how Dom normally blew him. “And Mr. Armstrong, wha’ about fhreatening an unborn baby of a mated omega?” The killer purred, resting the tip of his knife between his lips. Kells had to squeeze his thighs together. Why the fuck was he getting wet?

“Death.” The older beta said simply, shrugging as he watched the show play out.

“Maybe it's my child. You don't know when we last had sex. He was a mess before you showed up. I could have done anything I wanted.” She huffed.

“Aww, fanks Megs. I always ‘ope I'm good for ‘im but it's sweet of yas to say. Believe me, I know ya didn't fuck ‘im any time recent before me. I could tell. And I know tha's me baby. You should ‘ave played ya ‘and before I came around. Cause luv? He were already a badarse, I jus' made ‘im feel safe to do it as ‘imself. But I'm done playing wiv yas. By the way, did you ever guess who I was?” He asked, hopping off the table onto her side of it.

“Dominic don't play with your prey. It's unbecoming of you. At least not in front of the children.” Tom sighed, which had the Alpha throwing him a look. It was just enough time for her to reach the door.

“You'll regret this. All of you. I'm not going anywhere and you forget, I'm not the only person you fucked over recently. You boys had your chance but believe me, I can find better.” Dom moved to grab for her but Pete tried to as well and the beta fumbling at the door gave her freedom to escape.

“Stop. Let her go. Pete, send someone to follow her. She knows too many fucking people to do this in broad daylight. Fucks sake!” Colson was pissed and felt disgusting inside and out. He hated that his men knew what she did to him but none of them seemed to think any different. They all still waited on his word and looked to him with respect.

If he felt awful before he felt twenty times worse, more than anything he wanted to go home and curl up in his mate's hold. He wanted to make sure his family was safe and he wanted to forget the last hour. It hurt his heart but he knew… she couldn't live. Dom wouldn't stand for it. “Baby? You look… let's sit down yeah?” The Alpha looked worriedly at his lover and rushed around the table to his side. He helped ease his pale partner back into his seat but he wanted to take him straight to The Doctor. “I'm sorry I pushed so much. I know ya wanted to know but I should ‘ave waited. It felt like one of my kills and-”

“Shut up. I'm not upset with you dumbass. I'm tired. Exhausted really. Pissed at her and my-fucking-self.” Kells grumbled back, burying his face in his hands. He could feel his skin soaked in sweat and even his hands seemed pale. Adrenaline come-down could be a bitch. “You got caught up in the moment and you're right, I wanted to know. It's fucking sick what she did but I'm glad we know. It settles it. You're right. You're all fucking right. I have to kill her.”

“I can do it!” At least three different voices chimed in and Col knew one of them was far too young. They'd have to train their adoptive son just like Travis trained him.

“Let's not worry about it right now. ‘Ow about we go ‘ome?” Dom offered and Colson waved him off.

“Why don't you fuck off for a sec and let me piss? Unless you want to join me again so soon.” He tried to fix his anger before he hurt his mate. He knew the Alpha was just worried about him.

“While tha’ sounds lovely I fink I'll let ya go. I'll send some people to check the flat before we go. Good?” The psycho hummed, a soft smile on his face as he sat against the table and helped his partner stand.

Colson leaned forward enough to kiss him gently because he wasn't upset at him, he was pissed at the situation, he just didn't want to come off wrong. He could show affection even when enraged at something else. He had to learn to compartmentalize, especially before the baby came. He refused to be anything like his bio dad. He couldn't be the way he used to be where he ruled everything with an iron fist, even his personal life. He had to keep trusting and let people in. “Good. Thank you. Don't worry about checking the bathroom, remember before you I was still a badass.” He winked and patted the gun under his arm and got a gentle swat on his ass for using Dom’s words against him.

The Alpha watched his lover leave but he couldn't help poking his head out the door after he was gone to look around. The female Alpha’s scent was still in the air but dying down a bit. Blain came up beside him with his own blade in hand which he held tighter as he slipped out the door. “I gotta go too.” He winked and though the kid was small it reassured Dom that he cared to watch over Kells. He hoped it would be good for his mate to have a young omega around. If they helped him see the strength in what he was, maybe it could help the other man feel it.

“Dom? Can you come over here?” Mod interrupted his sentry duty and deep thought and with one last glance down the hall he turned back to head over to his roommates. They'd been acting odd all day but he wasn't sure why. He was scared he was about to find out though.

Both men looked nervously between each other and Dom but he stood by and waited for someone to speak up. Finally the beta elbowed the younger man as if whatever was about to be said should come from someone the killer would be less likely to hurt. Mod was a smart man. “What he's too much a pansy to explain and why we felt you shouldn't go after Megan tonight…” Even Tom seemed worried. It wasn't like him, he always felt safe talking to Dom.

“Yeah? Can't be worse ‘an ‘er.” He shrugged but the omega tilted his head like he wasn't so sure.

“So we realized… Megan wasn't the only one stealing from the company. Now, it may be absolutely nothing and just… Taking what's hers but we were worried about bringing this to Colson with everything else.” The photographer continued to speak without saying much.

“Collette is funneling a lot of cash somewhere. We can't track where. It could be something they've agreed on or something Travis set up but… With her being gone so much lately we were worried.” Mod finally helped out.

“We'll keep trying but we figured the easiest thing to do would be to tell you and you may ask her or Cols, whatever you believe is right.” Tom added and the Alpha nodded.

Dom wasn't actually sure how the fuck to handle something that felt so big. They were both right, it could be absolutely nothing, but it could also be catastrophic for his mate. If Col’s mother was working with Megan or hiding something huge… the man already had so much trouble trusting anyone. “Fanks I'll… I'll figure it out. Jus’ send me wha’ you got.”

The killer felt almost numb as he made his way to the door to wait for his partner to return. He couldn't bother with that right now, he had so much to focus on already. When Kells finally got back he still looked ill and it worried the boy even more. “You know, I think home actually sounds good. We can send a few ahead to check it out but I'm tired. Plus I want to check on mom. I don't know if she's sick or what.” The man sighed as he wrapped Dom in a hug and used him for physical support. After a moment he turned around to lean against the Alpha so he could text Pete and add to what he needed to do. Hopefully the beta could handle his new responsibility.

Dom sighed as he held his baby mumma close, his hands sliding under the bump to hold a little of the pressure for Col who moaned a bit louder than he meant to in relief. He almost hoped Collette was just sick or something, at least then she wouldn't be out sneaking around. The more he thought about it the more he realized he couldn't leave it alone. Killing Megan was important but their child was coming soon and more than anything but maybe him- Colson needed his mum. He just had to make sure they could still trust her. Bollocks, he was never getting to sleep again was he?

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

I told you the plot was about to start plotting. There might be a little more smut left but we're nearing the big ending. Don't worry, I already have plans for part 2 if you're loving these boys. We have to see how they handle family time! I hope you're all still enjoying it 🩸🖤

11 notes · View notes