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kywaslost · 9 months

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Grief - Kurapika, Gon, Killua, and Leorio

A/N: I just found this in the depths of my writing folder, and realized that I don’t think I ever posted this. This was written well over a year ago, maybe 2, but I still think it’s decent enough to post.

Warnings: depression, losing a loved one, blood, cuts(not sh)

Leorio, Kurapiki, Gon, and Killua were all sitting down around the dinner table, waiting for you to come home. It was custom for all 5 of you to sit down and have dinner together every night, and it was something no one could miss. So often it was hard to find free time for the five of you to spend time together, so that is what dinner was for. Your time was often spent talking about your day and what plans the 5 of you had. Dinner was often filled with laughs and good moments.

Except for tonight, it was anything but. Dinner usually started around 6:00 pm, but it was now 6:30 and you were nowhere to be found. The food was growing cold, and the four boys ate, despite wanting you to join them.

“Does anyone know where Y/N is?” Killua asked. “She said she’d be back in time for dinner. Do you think she’s in trouble?”

Kurapika stood, spooning some of the leftover dinner into a dish to save for you. “She told me that she was going to visit her friend.” He left the dining room to stick your plate into the fridge for you. He yelled from the kitchen, “I’m sure she just lost track of time.” The other three boys took their dishes and brought them to the kitchen to wash.

“Which friend?” Gon asked with worried eyes. “Is it the sick one? Maybe something happened?”

“I’m sure that’s who she’s with,” Leorio responded. “Y/N’s been talking about how little she’s able to see her friend.”

There was a bang coming from the front of the house. When the four boys turned around, they saw you bolting up the stairs and heard your door slam shut. Melody stood in the doorway, looking upset.

“Melody? What are you doing here?” Kurapika asked, walking towards the front door. He could see the tears brimming his co-worker’s eyes. “What happened?”

The other three boys gathered around them.

Melody sniffled before answering. “Her heart is beating with grief,” she whispered, finally making eye contact with Kurapika and the others.

“Come, sit down,” Gon instructed, worried for his friend. You had taken off running without a word, and here Melody says you’re grieving. Once everyone was settled, Melody finally spoke.

“Y/N called me, asking me to come pick her up from the hospital,” she started. “I could barely understand what she was saying, even with my enhanced hearing. I could tell that she was greatly hurting, so I rushed to get her. When I arrived, I could immediately hear the pain and grief in her heartbeat.” She paused for a moment. “I’ve never heard grief like this.”

“Did she tell you why she was so upset?” Leorio asked although everyone had a hunch.

“Her friend has passed,” Melody answered. “I guess her friend died before Y/N even got to the hospital.”

“Oh no,” Gon whispered. “This must be so hard for her. We should go see if she’s ok.”

“No.” The command was sharp, quick. Kurapika stood, looking around at the others in the room. “Having all of us run up there right now will do nothing but overbear Y/N.” He turned to Melody. “Melody, we cannot thank you enough.” The girl nodded.

“Please let me know if Y/N needs anything,” she instructed before leaving.

“We can’t just leave Y/N by herself,” Gon whined. “She needs us right now.”

“I agree,” Killua cut in. “But I also agree with Kurapika. Having all of us crowd her right now isn’t what she needs.”

“So who’s going up there?” Leorio asked.

“I will,” Kurapika volunteered. The boy was always fond of you, treating you more like a sister than a friend.

“You are closest with her,” Gon muttered, “but I want to make sure she’s ok too!”

“We can go see her later,” Killua suggested. “In the meantime, we can reheat her dinner for her!” The two boys went running off to the kitchen.

“Let me know how she is, ok,” Leorio said. “Let me know if you need me to do anything. We’ll need to keep an eye on her for the next few days. Mental health is very important after losing someone close to you.” Kurapika nodded.

“Thanks, Leorio.”

Kurapika ascended the stairs that led to everyone’s rooms and the bathroom. Your room was at the end of the hall, next to Kurapika’s room and across from Killua and Gon. Upon approaching the door, the blonde could hear gut-wrenching sobs from behind the door and his heart broke. He hated this for you. He knew how much your friend meant to you, and he knew how much you wanted to go see them. You had just been so busy lately, with classes, work, and sports and you never had a free day to be with your friend.

“Y/N?” Kurapika called softly, knocking on the door. “May I come in?” There was no answer, and the blonde didn’t know if he should wait on this side of the door and speak to you through the door or if he should go in and comfort you. While debating with himself, he suddenly heard a crash coming from your side of the door, along with a scream. Kurapika grew alarmed. “Y/N! I’m coming in, ok?!”

“Is everything ok!?” Leorio yelled from the base of the stairs. Killua and Gon were already running down the hall and towards your door.

Kurapika was in your room, scanning the area for you. Your bed was blocking a large portion of his view, yet he could see that your desk was completely cleared of everything that was once on it. He walked over to the other side of your bed to see you on the ground, struggling to breathe.

“Y/N!” Gon gasped, jumping over your bed to kneel next to you. Kurapika was at your other side in an instant, panicking himself. Killua, though he was worried, didn’t want to make you feel crowded so he went to get a broom and sweep up the broken remains of what used to be on your desk. Leorio was now in the doorway, watching as the scene unfolded before him.

“Y/N, are you hurt anywhere?” Gon asked, yet you were in no state to answer. Even though you couldn’t give him a yes or no answer, he could see blood seeping from your clenched fists.

“Y/N, honey, you need to breathe,” Kurapika stated in a desperate attempt to keep you calm.

“Sit her upright, Kurapika,” Leorio instructed, now sitting beside him. “It’ll help her breathe, but be prepared. She may not want to be touched, and it could potentially make things worse, only for a moment.”

“I don’t want to make her worse!” Kurapika shouted.

“Guys, stop yelling!” Gon said strictly. “Kurapika, do as Leorio asked. I’ll help.” The two boys wrapped their arms under you, pulling you into a sitting position.

“Y/N, please breathe,” he called. Gon’s arm still lingered behind you, unsure whether or not you were okay with physical comfort yet.

On the other hand, Kurapika pulled you into a tight hug against his chest. “Breathe with me, ok?” You showed no sign of even recognizing that someone was talking to you. Gon tilted his head in confusion.

“Y/N? Can you hear us?”

“Probably not,” Leorio answered. “Her mind's going a million miles an hour. If she doesn’t calm down she’s going to pass out.”

Kurapika was accentuating his breathing, trying to get you to breathe with him, but it was no use. You slumped against him with a long sigh. “Y/N?”

“She’s passed out,” Leorio commented. “Gon, can you get a cool cloth, some water, and a first aid kit?” The green-haired boy nodded, running out of the room. Killua joined the others on the floor near you.

“Is she going to be ok?” he asked. Leorio looked at you with worried eyes.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly, pulling your hands into his to see the various cuts and shards of broken materials from where you threw everything off of your desk. “It’s going to be hard next few weeks. Maybe even months. We just have to be there for her.”

Gon returned quickly with the supplies Leorio asked for, handing them to the tall man. Kurapika lifted you to place you on your bed, laying you down gently. The next several minutes were silent as Kurapika and Leorio cleansed and bandaged your hands. Killua made his way to the head of your bed, moving your head to his lap. He ran his hands through your hair gently, massaging your scalp. Gon was wiping the dried tears from your face, careful not to be too harsh in the motion.

Three days have passed since the passing of your friend. You hadn’t said a word, hardly even leaving your room. To be honest, your friends were really worried about you. Gon and Killua had to fight you to get out of bed to at least move around.

“Exercise is important Y/N,” Killua would say softly.

“It’ll make you feel better,” Gon would add. The two boys would finally leave you when you walk with them outside to get the mail, then quickly return to your room.

Kurapika had to force you to eat, waking you up for every meal. He wouldn’t go as far as making you join them all downstairs for meals, but he’d sit with you to make sure you actually ate.

Leorio was concerned about your overall health. He took note of how long you’d been sleeping, how pale you looked with red puffy eyes and a runny nose. He’d frown every time he peeked through your cracked door to see you staring blankly up at the ceiling, not moving. There were even some moments he’d come in and touch you just to make sure you were still breathing.

All four boys accompanied you to the funeral, never leaving your side for even a moment. Kurapika sat beside you during the service, holding your hand tightly. Gon was on your other side, hugging you to make sure you knew he was there for you. All Leorio and Killua could do was give you sympathetic looks. When the time came for the burial, Kurapika still had your hand in a tight hold. Killua was at your other side now, wrapping an arm around your waist. Leorio and Gon kept a hand on each shoulder, holding you steady.

“Kurapika,” you said quietly at the end of the funeral. “I want to go home. I’m tired.”

The blonde nodded with a sad smile. This was the first time you’ve spoken since your friend died. “Alright, let’s go.” He pulled you gently beside him as you all walked to your car. He helped you into the car before sliding into the driver’s seat. Leorio joined him in the front while Killua and Gon sat with you in the back. The car started and left the funeral.

You were almost asleep when you got home. Killua shook you gently, letting you know that it was time to go inside.

“Leave her be,” Kurapika said quietly. “It’s been a hard day for her. I’ll carry her in.”

You feel the boys beside you leave, then two arms wrap around you. You were lifted out of the car and carried into the house. You felt each bump as Kurapika climbed the stairs to get to your room. He placed you on your bed, tucking you in gently.

“I’m sorry,” you heard him whisper. The bed dipped down beside you. “You shouldn’t have to go through this.” A calloused hand ran through your hair. “I wish we could do more for you.”

You felt Kurapika stand to leave and quickly reached out for his hand. “Stay. Please.” The boy gasped, spooked by your words. You couldn’t see him well in the dim light, but you could just tell he was relieved.

“Of course.” You scooted over to make room for him, curling into his side once he got comfortable. “Is this ok?”

You nodded, sighing. “Yes, thank you.” You layed in silence with him

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graysonshmayson · 4 months

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AITA for not wanting to help my dad?

Ok so it has come to attention that my (M24) adoptive father (M44) is struggling a lot and I have been begged to move back home and help him by a concerned 3rd party, T (M14). For context, my dad took me in when I was nine after my parents were murdered and I helped him a lot in the family business before I left at 18. After I left, he adopted my brother J (M16), who replaced me in the family business (for more context on that situation, read this post).

J was killed last year on the job, and the family took it really hard, especially my dad, who has a lot of guilt about it. By the time J died, I had mostly forgiven my dad for our past and we were on speaking terms again. J and I weren’t best friends by any means, but we got along. We were brothers. I have a lot of guilt around J’s death too, I mean I literally invented the job that he died doing, but I’ve dealt with it in my own way and am moving on. My dad on the other hand has gotten reckless (which is dangerous in our line of work), vengeful, angry, and even more closed off than before.

I really tried to help him through it after J died. I even looked past the fact that he didn’t tell me about J’s funeral because he had it done as quickly as possibly out of grief. But it’s been a year and I have my own life and work in a different city. I’m grateful for everything he gave me; he changed my life the day he took me in and he knows that I respect him and am thankful. At the same time, though, this man is chronic in his self-neglect. Over and over again in my childhood he went through waves of depression, not sleeping, not eating, and putting himself at risk. All while having near impossibly high standards for me. I always felt responsible for taking care of him when he got like that, even though he was the one that was supposed to take care of me. I don’t think he was a bad dad, but let's just say I’ve unpacked a lot in therapy and I’ve worked hard to set hard boundaries with him. I’ve tried a million times to drag him out of the dark and no matter how many times I do it, he always throws himself back in, usually for the “sake of the job”. I’m sick of it, and can’t handle it emotionally anymore. Even if it took a long time for me to accept it, it's just not my responsibility to take care of him.

T, the 3rd party tried to convince me to move back home to help him, which I refused, and now he’s volunteered himself to fill the position in the family business that J and I occupied. He’s struggling to connect to my dad, and with helping him stay safe, but no matter what happens I always advise him to stop trying to parent the fully grown man. Especially since T is just a kid himself. If my dad wanted to change, he would have by now. It took my 9 years of living with him to realize that. I love him, but I can’t help him. I’ve tried. AITA?

TLDR: my dad, grieving the loss of my brother for over a year, is consistently putting himself in danger/neglecting himself, which is a habit that I have tried consistently since childhood to stop. I’ve set a hard boundary that I won’t upset my life to help him out of situations he stubbornly puts himself in anymore, because it is not my job to take care of him. Now another person is trying to take care of him like I did, and I’m telling him to give it up.

#batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #dc comics #batfamily #spleen guy #reddit #reddit aita

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sharkneto · 1 year

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Any WIP's you wanna share? 🔫

Man, always, but I also feel like I'm running low on WIPs to share lol. it's hard to keep track of what's already been shared. What to pick from, tho, what to pick from...

Have a snip from this fic that's just been sitting on my computer for too long. It's technically done, idk why I haven't posted it. Fits in with not alone series, Allison finds Five in a low moment:

There’s one of Five’s problems, right there, Allison thinks. Another one they don’t know how to fix. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he repeats back dully, tucking himself tighter into his ball.

“What about your happy ending?”

He doesn’t respond for a long time. They watch another delivery at the florist on the corner. She thinks he’s just not when he mumbles, “This is it, isn’t it? My good ending.”

Allison tightens her grip on his foot. He doesn’t react to it.

“Really,” he adds, almost to himself, “what do I have to complain about? Got everything I wanted. Well, five-sixths of what I wanted. That’s pretty good.”

Her heart aches for Ben, too. She wonders how that grief, now dull and familiar after all these years, would twist if she technically had the ability to save him but still couldn’t. Five is Five, so he must have tried; the fact that they don’t have Ben means there’s something that stopped him. She won’t ask. “You did really good, Five.”

He hums absently. “Never said I didn’t. Could have done better, though.” He glances at her, an eyebrow raised in a sad mockery of playful. “’Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.’”

It’s times like this where it really slaps her in the face that her brother truly is a fifty-eight-year-old man trapped as a thirteen-year-old. The weight to his gaze around how he’s trying to lighten the mood for her is extraordinary. That did sound like a quote, though, the cadence he said it with. “Is that from something?”

Five shrugs. “Something or other. I only found the one page of it. Some play. It was at a point where most other paper had disintegrated if I hadn’t saved it, so it was an interesting find. Stuck with me.”

“It’s a good quote,” she offers.

The corner of his mouth twitches up. “It does sound rather profound. Which means it’s probably the only good line from the worst play that no one ever saw. That’s my luck.”

Allison smiles with him, although it cuts her a little bit.

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.

She looks back outside.

“You don’t usually talk about this stuff,” she says after a beat.

He sighs. “And I shouldn’t. You don’t need to deal with any of it and here I am dumping it on you. Guess you caught me at the wrong time.”

“Or the right time. I’m always happy to listen, Five.”

He gives her a flat look. “Nothing about this is happy.”

“You know what I mean. I’d rather you weren’t stewing in it by yourself. We want to help.”

“The whole point of everything was you wouldn’t have to. I’m fine, Allison. Really. Turns out I’m just a tired and maudlin old man. Who could have seen that coming.”

Allison rubs her thumb over the top of his foot. He still hasn’t pulled it away from her so it must be ok. His word choice gives her pause. “You haven’t been drinking, right?”

Another flat look. “Three, it’s two in the afternoon.”

The not yet goes unspoken but she hears it. “Touché,” she says anyway, her heart thumping funny at him calling her by her number. It’s something he’d done when they were kids, too; they’d had real names by the time they were nine but Five, as the lone number left, was the only one still allowed to use the numbers. He did rarely, when particularly irritated or – in truly rare instances – particularly affectionate.

It's something she’d forgotten. Another piece of him, still there.

#i am soft for this fic #five leaks a little bit about the apocalypse #the quote is from arthur miller's the ride down mt morgan #felt like a good quote for five #tua #snips #number 5 #ask response

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hela-avenger · 1 year

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it’s not you, it’s me- final

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1765

Summary: Natasha won’t quit trying to set you up so you decide to play fire with fire. Hence making a deal with an insufferable prince who interestingly enough is willing to fake being in love with you for the rest of the night. Of course when dealing with the God of Lies things are never as they seem. Fake-Dating AU. p&w AU.

A/N: Every time I think I’m going to have time to write and post something on a scheduled manner something always comes up to ruin that. So sorry for leaving y’all hanging and I’m just gonna stop making false promises.

P.S. I’m tagging the p&w people so if you’ll like to be taken off pls do let me know!

General tags are open!

it’s not you, it’s me masterlist & poison & wine masterlist

Bucky almost seems the same with the exception in the way he carries himself. Once confident and jovial, he’s become more quiet and humble. Someone who would rather spend his time in the outskirts of a party than in the middle of it all.

It explains why you hadn’t seen him until now. He waited for everyone to be gone before coming down.

“You really haven’t changed,” Bucky states once you receive your drinks. He motions for you to take a seat at the bar and so you do. “You look exactly the same as the first time I met you.”

“I’m pretty sure I was covered in mud and grime when we first met,” you recall. “So I would consider this an upgrade.”

“Right,” Bucky lets out a short laugh. “But still, it’s nice to see that some things haven’t changed.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Steve was relieved when he saw me again. It helped him to have some piece of his life back even though everything was turned inside out and upside down for him. I assume it’s the same for you after… well, after what you’ve been through.”

Bucky goes silent and stares into his drink solemnly.

“We don’t have to talk about that,” you offer up to him. “I’ve heard enough and you don’t need to relive any of those details. I’m just happy that chapter of your life is over.”

“Cheers to that,” Bucky mutters, clinking his glass with yours before taking a drink. “So, onto livelier topics, how about, uh, we talk about you?”

“Please don’t tell me you want to know my true age.”

“That is actually the only thing I wanted to know,” Bucky jokes. “Rude? I know, but I just…”

You shove him but Bucky doesn’t move an inch.

“I’m older than you and that’s all you need to know.”

“Ok,” Bucky nods. “And you’re… Steve said half-human, half-Asgardian?”

“Yes,” you answer. “A demi-god to make it simpler.”

Bucky takes a second to register the information.

“Huh, after all I’ve been through I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that.”

“Yeah, being in the presence of a God tends to render people speechless.”

“No, it’s not that exactly. It’s more about the fact that I was dating one that’s blowing my mind.”

“Well, dating seems like a reach…”

“Please don’t ruin this for me,” Bucky interrupts, causing you to laugh at the growing blush on his cheeks. “This is the peak of my existence. Nothing I ever do or have done will outshine this moment in our history. A rascal of a boy from Brooklyn having dated the daughter of Aphrodite herself.”

“Ever the flirt, Barnes,” you giggle. “ I never really stood a chance against you.”

There’s a silence that follows. It’s comfortable at first, but you both inevitably look away. As if you both realize how easy it was to fall back into old ways but how unfamiliar the motions felt now.

Bucky’s hand reaches for yours and you go still. You hadn’t realized you had been fidgeting with the half-empty glass.

“We might look the same but we’re completely different now, huh?”

There is a sudden wave of grief that lapses over you. It takes you by surprise seeing as he’s still right next to you. You feel the warmth of his hand and watch his chest rise and fall with each breath. He’s not gone, but you lost him all the same.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize to him. “It seems like the passing of time has indeed taken another victim.”

“I know,” he whispers as he lets your hand go. “I’m just an echo of the man I was back then.”

“It’s not you,” you sigh. “It’s me.”

You half-smile at him and lean into the palm of your hand.

“I’ve always kept you at a distance. For your sake, but mainly for mine. I… I can admit now that I was selfish with you. I was lonely and afraid of my mortality and I needed a way out of that and it was you. You are…”

There is a knot in your throat but you fight through it

“You are a light, Bucky. In the darkness I was in, you were the light at the end of that very long tunnel. That hasn’t changed and it will never change. So thank you for sharing that glow with me in the time I needed it the most.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever been told in my entire life,” Bucky answers breathlessly. “Always know how to punch the air out of my lungs.”

“It’s the truth,” you tell him.

“I sense a but coming though…”

“No, there is just an apology left to say because I am sorry that we can’t pick up where we left off. At the moment you need some light of your own, I can't be that for you.”

Bucky smiles in response, “I never expected us to return where we left off. I have too much baggage and I’m sure you’ve moved on from me a long time ago.”

“I-” you stammer out. “I mean-”

You don’t know why your gaze shifts toward the balcony and you go silent when you realize that it's empty now.

Where did Loki go?

You can’t help but search for him and find him speaking to his brother before making his way out.

“Buck, I’m sorry, but I have to go…”

Bucky is quick to notice where you focus has gone to and simply smiles once again.

“Go,” he tells you. “You should go.”

“Thank you. I’ll explain everything later,” you promise him as you get out of your seat.

“I prefer you didn’t,” he jokes. “But seriously, go. I’ll tell everyone you had to leave.”

You whisper your gratitude again before slipping away from the room. You don’t miss the smirk Natasha gives you as you run down the hallway. You watch as the elevator doors are closing and shout for Loki to hold them.

He doesn’t.

It doesn’t matter though as you manage to slip through the closing elevator doors.

“Well that’s awfully rude of you,” you say as you try to catch your breath. “No wonder people think you’re unapproachable.”

Loki just glares at you, “What are you doing?”

“Chasing after you if it isn’t obvious,” you answer. “You left without saying goodbye to me.”

“I didn’t realize I had to.”

His demeanor is cold and you wonder how you manage to fall back onto square one.

“I wish you had,” you tell him. “Save me from running after you in these heels.”

Loki’s scowl doesn’t soften, instead he breathes out of his nose loudly.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “You were clearly enjoying your time with the soldier. Why are you here with me now?”

“Because you-” you whisper trying to figure out why your mouth has suddenly turned dry. “Because we…”

You don’t know how to put what you’re feeling into words. It was as if you were being pulled into a riptide. Just being pulled and dragged in all different directions. This was all so new to you. Staying instead of running away.

“Because I don’t want this night to end,” you answer. “So I thought we could um- go get dinner maybe?”

“Dinner?” Loki asks in surprise.

“Yeah, dinner,” you repeat. “I know this taco truck two blocks away.”

“Tacos?”

“Loki, why are you repeating everything I say?”

“Because I’m trying to make sense of what’s happening.”

The doors to the elevator open and Loki sighs before moving to leave. You’re quick to block him.

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m trying to talk to you and you’re shutting me down so I’m really doubting what I’m actually doing right now because I really thought we had something going but maybe I read everything wrong. Oh God, now I’m mortified.”

You step away and allow Loki his much desired departure.

He takes a step forward and stops right in front of you. You’re afraid to look up but you can feel his gaze settled on you.

The elevator doors close again and he’s quick to push the lobby button.

“Tacos, you said?”

“Yeah,” you whisper when you finally muster the courage to look up at him. The scowl is gone and his face has softened once more. “Yeah and maybe we could um… we can talk about Asgard.”

“Just Asgard?” he repeats with a grin.

“Yeah, Asgard,” you answered with a laugh. “We can talk about Asgard and more of our childhood traumas and…”

“Can I just kiss you now?”

“Yes, please.”

Loki’s delicate as he pulls your face up and presses his lips on yours. The tension that was all over your body disappears as you realize this was exactly what you were looking for. You melt into him and he’s quick to hold you upright as his lips continue to dance upon yours.

He pulls away too soon for your liking but he doesn’t go too far. You feel his nose bump against yours. His warm breath fanning over your face.

“What are you waiting for?” you whisper. “Kiss me again.”

Loki just sighs as he tucks some loose strands away.

“Just let me admire you,” he answers. “I thought I would never get to have you like this.”

He laughs quietly.

“I was trying to be selfless, you know.”

“You were?” you ask surprised.

“I saw you with… Bucky and I couldn’t intrude in your happiness.”

“He’s just a friend,” you explain to him. “I am happy to see him but it’s a different kind of happiness.”

“And what do you feel about me?”

The elevator doors open and you can’t help but step out onto the lobby. Loki’s quick to follow after you, pulling off his coat with the intent of placing it over your shoulders before you step outside.

“I can tell you more about my feelings on the way to the taco truck,” you tell him. “Or maybe…”

“Maybe what?” Loki asks as he catches up to you. His coat is placed on your shoulders before he opens the door.

“Maybe I can show you.”

You’re quick to push up on your toes and place a chaste kiss on his lips before grabbing his hand and leading him down the road.

“So about that trip to Asgard,” you begin. “How soon can we go?”

“We could go now if you desire.”

“Later,” you tell him as you look up at the distant stars. “I wanna stay here a little longer.”

it’s not you, it’s me: @marvelgirlonamarvelworld @nickkie1129 @theinfinitenerd @lucywrites02 @nerdyshaddowhunter @10velyhaos @the-bilkush @lilliansstuff @dark-night-sky-99 @marygoddessofmischief

poison & wine: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @doyoufeelikeayounggod @i-dont-know-eiither @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @marvelloonie @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @rogerrhqpsody @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15 @oneprolificqueen @fandomrelative @nikki419ninja @onedollarduck @ephemeraljade @captainmarvelnerd @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse @ddaeing @leftperfectionmoon @lmfaohader

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow-blog @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox @heykathchuu @is-it-madness @writingletterstothefire @nonsensicalobsessions @help-i-need-a-social-life

All Works: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell-blog @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @badhollandfluff @what-a-flammable-heart @fandoms-allovertheplace @polireader @hufflautia

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arithmeticanimaniac · 7 months

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tag someone you want to know better

tagged by @romanceyourdemons

favorite color: bright pink (also any happy color)

last song: the last song i deliberately played was either “Almost Like Being in Love” by Nat King Cole or “September in the Rain” by Dinah Washington, but the last song that came up on shuffle was “Juliet” by LMNT

last movie: either around the world in 80 days (2004) or inception (2010)

currently watching: the last season of archer (2009)

other stuff i watched this year: lmao i actually have a lot of half baked reviews in my drafts but i never posted them because i’m almost always at my queue limit so here’s my chance to do a rapid fire round of reviews (based entirely on whether i enjoyed them)

how to marry a millionaire (1953) 👍 too many people forget what a comedic genius marilyn monroe was

Love Sarah (2020) 👍 🥲 a bakery, romance, grief and healing, intergenerational bonding, what more could you want

My man Godfrey (1936) 👎 boring

bringing up baby (1938) 👎 it has its moments, blueprint for disney channel show shenanigans

memories of the sword (2015) 👍 sooooo melodramatic

The Dig (2018) 👍 haunting

the misfits (2021) 👍 it is Not Good, but inexplicably charming

Free guy (2021) 👍 responsible for the resurgence of mariah carey in my playlist

Papillon (2017) 🤷🏻‍♀️ hard to get through but not bad

Chungking Express (1994) 👍 i’m not usually an atmospheric film type, but wow

The Lost City (2022) 👍 i had fun

The French dispatch (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ tried watching this multiple times, fell asleep each time but the fact that i tried multiple times means it goes on this list

most of the movies in the DCAMU (2013-2020) 👍 i saw a gif from Teen Titans: the Judas contract (2017) which led me to watch 11 of these 16 movies lmao curse you tumblr

Blue crush (2002) 👎

the Batman (2022) 👎

Lost in the stars (2022) 👍 the whole thing could’ve been avoided if (spoilers) were lesbian, but anyways it made me want to visit hainan and shanghai

Dumplings (2004) 👍 i mean i can’t eat dumplings anymore without gagging but

the burning sea (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ i remember laughing at the cheesiness (idk how accurately they translated from norwegian), but solid disaster movie

alive (2020) 👍 korean filmmakers really know zombies, but mix in quarantine era

Palm Springs (2020) 👍 went into this blind expecting white lotus lol (very much not white lotus)

The babysitter: killer queen (2020) 👍 i can only do horror if it’s campy horror

the menu (2022) 👎 well made movie, not for me

blockers (2018) 👍

joy ride (2023) 👍

Spider-Man: across the spider-verse (2023) 👍

king arthur: legend of the sword (2017) 👍 i don’t care i enjoyed its ridiculousness

Austenland (2013) 👍 it’s so bad!! i laughed, i cringed, i awww’ed

the tuxedo (2002) 🤷🏻‍♀️ better enjoyed in highlight clips

Matilda the musical (2022) 👎 if i hadn’t seen the danny devito version i might have enjoyed this

heathers the musical (2022) 👎 the off bway actors were better

Mayhem (2017) 👍 samara weaving and steven yeun! another movie apollo threw a covid dodgeball at

Charlie Chan at the wax museum (1940) 🤷🏻‍♀️ could’ve been good, hard to watch with the yellowface and racism

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) 👍

shows i dropped this year/didn’t finish: justified (2010), killing eve (2018) , gannibal (2022), beef (2023), doom patrol (2019)

currently reading: bel canto, but mainly just a lot of medical articles

currently working on: finding a new job because hellooooo 2 year itch

current obsession: ok so if you look at english language sources, most say that pregnant onions are toxic and therefore not edible. however, the medicinal value of pregnant onions is apparently not uncommon knowledge in other cultures (fuck yeah china and south africa). so a family friend gave us a few mature plants that make into soup and i picked off the little seedlings and have been tending to them. that led to spending more time tending to my other plants (i have a lot more loquat trees than i remember) and now i’m trying to air layer some stuff. TLDR; gardening

tagging anyone who wants to do this :)

#tag game #tag me bc i’m sooo nosy about stuff people are watching #this was fun! i forgot i watched so many things so digging through my memory took a while #long post #.txt

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is-it-shabbos-yet · 1 year

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Hey so I just happened to click on your blog ‘cause I thought it had a fun name but I saw your miscarriage post and was wondering if you were ok? I know it’s really hard and there isn’t nearly enough support for women going through that kind of stuff. I happen to know someone who runs a nonprofit organization and support community for Jewish families going through fertility issues and miscarriages and have run a couple of projects for them which has had me listen to several stories and I just don’t think it’s fair that there are so few resources for such a difficult thing.

I’m so sorry if this is overstepping, you just seem like such a nice person and I thought I could at least reach out and ask how you’re doing. And I hope you ultimately had a wonderful Chanukah!

Thanks for asking! It is a hard thing to go through, and sadly it happens to many women, especially Jewish/frum families who may have larger families. I am honestly surprised that people don't talk about it more considering how prevalent it is.

As for me personally, I'm more okay than I thought I'd be. I knew the statistics and always assumed that, unfortunately, I would most likely have a least one miscarriage while growing our family. I'm able to see what a bracha it is that I had the miscarriage after two healthy pregnancies. It would have been so much harder to sit with my grief without my children to distract me and keep me grounded.

It's still hard to see visibly pregnant women, especially ones due around the same time I would have been. It still hurts for me to think about planning for Pesach, because that was when I would have been due.

In my state, you have to sign a death certificate for a fetus beyond 10 weeks of age, and I believe you have to bury or cremate them. The Chevra Kadisha organization here took care of that for us, although we are still waiting to hear where in the cemetery the baby is buried. Not sure if we will put a matseva there or not. Most people don't, since a fetus isn't halachically a person. That doesn't exactly align with the depth of grief I'm feeling, but we're still deciding how to memorialize the baby. We did direct some tzedakah toward organizations that provide for babies, which felt cathartic.

So yeah. B”H I’m okay.

#miscarriage

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septembersghost · 2 years

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i started watching bcs when it first aired but stopped when i got to season 5 because life got busy for me. i started watching again this year because i relapsed in my addiction and my mental health is literally is shambles and i found your blog and kimwexlersstrap and laloslayamanca's and it was a distraction from m pain to read your posts and memes and such so i started watching again to read your live blogging and feel a part of it even though i never post anything. now that i finished im like ok what do i distract myself with lol i feel so stupid and empty it's insane how something like a tv show is the only thing holding someone together

🥺 anon i am holding you tightly in a hug right now (@kimwexlersstrap @laloslayamanca i hope you both see this too 💗)

did you read what i linked from the sub in my post yesterday? if you didn't, i want to copy the text for you here, okay?

I just wanted to make this post because I was thinking about how very soon better call Saul will be over. And I know for a lot of addicts, and people who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, the ending of a tv show can be a huge trigger.

For some of us, the idea that another season of a show is coming out is a reason to stick around for another year. Sometimes it can feel like the only reason.

So I just wanted to make this post to remind those people to stay strong. There are always more shows, works of art and other aspects of life to fall in love with and provide us with passion. I know that these passions can sometimes be what keeps us alive. And regardless of all that, it does get better and recovery is never too far out of reach.

While Better Call Saul may end, life goes on. This show will always be in our hearts and we’re gonna be okay even after it ends.

I’m so glad we all got to connect over our passion for this phenomenal work of art. Much love to all of you and stay safe <3 (x)

reading that spoke closely to me, as someone who also very much stays alive for art. bcs has been such a dear and vital anchor for me for years. i've written about this in the past, but as someone chronically ill/disabled and homebound (entirely since dec. 2019), stories and music are my absolute lifelines and my connections to the outside world, and being here on tumblr is my window to it and the way i'm able to express it and reach other people. it is not stupid, ever, and it is not empty, it's vast. it's no small thing, it is profoundly important and real. they're the things that quite literally have kept me alive and given me a light in dark times. i struggle with anxiety/depression/suicidal ideation going along with my chronic illness/pain conditions, and the reprieve i have is in the art i dearly love and am passionate about. maybe i over-invest because of this, but i find i'd rather care too much and at least have something to hold onto. whenever i'm hurting, those passions keep me here.

this year has been a hard struggle and full of fear for my mom and me, and having bcs to look forward to and bond over/discuss has been dear to us, we're both feeling its loss heavily today.

when something ends, there is always a sadness. it's never silly to feel the depth of that grief, we need the time and the room to process that. it hits especially hard when it's something that's helped keep us going. nothing you're feeling is wrong, and i hope you know you're not alone at all.

i'm very happy you rediscovered the show and joined us here! even if you don't post anything, i promise your presence is appreciated. this message itself means so much to me, and i'm glad you're here. i'm sending you love and any strength i can, please remember that you matter and know that my blog is here and my askbox is always open to you. 💙💙💙

#<333333 #we're in this together. we are.#anonymous #letterbox #bubble wrap around my heart #the consolation of imaginary things #better call saul

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littlemourningstar · 1 year

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I’m scared. Terrified actually. I’ve been sick for weeks and new things keep popping up. My Covid tests have been negative which is good but it doesn’t change how my husband flinches when I cough too hard or how my neighbors must grab an extra bottle of disinfectant at the store after they hear me through the walls. It doesn’t change how I still have to be a person for everyone around me even when I’m so scared and so sick. I have to take the dog out and my husband needs groceries for lunch but I can’t drive because of the medications I’m on and my brother and sister in law have a two year old and a teething baby and need extra hands and now I don’t have hands to give them that aren’t covered in hives and so shaky I missed opening the car door three times before I got it. It doesn’t change that I’m paranoid of everything I eat and do in case I suddenly without warning developed a peanut allergy or an allergy to something else in our home and any moment I could go into shock and not have anyone to help me. My husband has to work and can’t take any more time off to take care of me and even if he could I’ve become nothing but a burden. I ask for so many little things all at once. I’ve been coughing and it’s annoying and I’m itchy so he can’t hold me and I’m stressed so I need support from him but I can’t ask that of him because I already ask for enough. I’m scared of going to bed at night because I’ll wake up covered in hives again and I’m scared to do anything but lay in bed or sit on the couch for fear I may collapse. My throat feels like it’s closing but I can breathe so that means I’m fine. I have to be fine. I’m a hypochondriac apparently so it’s obviously just stress and anxiety and not my looming death but it could be and that scares me.

My mom is too busy with my grandpa to worry about me so I just say I’m fine and my brother can say he loves having me over as much as he wants but it doesn’t change how I feel like an imposter in his home. I feel like I shouldn’t tell my niece I love her because it’s overstepping my bounds like I shouldn’t care so much about a child who isn’t mine because I made peace with not wanting kids and because I can’t have them. It would kill me if I did so I can’t.

I don’t have real friends anymore so all I have are the people I talk to online and they’re all going through other things and I’m just a burden. All the time. I can never seem to shut up when I talk about myself and I hate it I hate how much I talk about myself all the time but I just want Someone Anyone to know I exist and I’m here and I just don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to be okay again and I don’t know if I ever will be. I try so hard to be everything while simultaneously being nothing. Don’t take up space. Don’t complain. Don’t mention xyz. I’m tired. I just wish I could have a normal life.

I miss just being another weird girl in elementary school who had friends and an annoying older brother and a dad who still loved her and was still there and a mom who wasn’t as worn down by the things she’s taken on. A mom who was still emotionally attached and trying. Before I could realize I’d been abused and hurt and wasn’t safe anywhere before I’d been bullied to the point of no return before I’d ever thought about dying like it was a welcome payoff for all the suffering.

I’m so tired.

I just want to be ok.

I want to wake up without pain and sickness and grief.

If you’re reading this and concerned don’t worry yourself; I’m safe. Unless post nasal drip and hives kills.

I just wanna feel like a person again. Not a husk being held together with medications and a silly disposition.

I wish I could have seen my niece today. I miss when she calls my name and asks to play games. I hope she always loves me this much.

#vent #sorry #tw for uh #sad #pathetic rambling

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nisaadventures · 9 months

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“It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.” - Betty White

Before the day begins I just want to start on a good note. This is not to say each day doesn’t because they generally 100% do.

Today is my 33rd birthday. *Wide eyes & raised eyebrows* I still feel hella young (lol sincerely and jokingly said).

I’ve learned so much this year, about life, myself, leaning into self-love, leaning away from comparison.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I’d love to say, just don’t do it… but we are human and there will always be moments where we either do compare or are tempted in that direction. I have found that if I focus on my life, there are endless opportunities for joy.

The dogs seemingly enjoy their meals because they’re still licking the bowl after its empty, joy.

Jay playing music and cooking dinner/meal prep in the kitchen, joy. All the gratitude when the kitchen is even clean when he’s done (Thank you, hunny!).

Walking to Kuya’s house to workout and hangout, always joy. It’s always an added bonus that Nina has kept coming, despite my crazy programmed core workouts (lol ok they’re not crazy. You might like them if you tried *wink*).

When I bought a new salad spinner, fixed the AC, installed the new doorbell (lol) all the things people deem ‘adulting.’ Yup, those are joy too. Me being a list person, whenever I can cross something off or get something done, so much joy.

And that may sound silly, but if we can find joy in the day to day, the things some would call mundane, then not a day will go by that you don’t find it. Perspective is important here. We obviously can’t control life and things get thrown our way all the time: the shitty driver who almost hit us on the way to work, your dog chewing the corner of your couch, the weather, a crazy day at work because who knows (was it a full moon again?), etc. etc. etc. Now lets not go into this with that toxic positivity. I’m not saying your perspective will magically make everything better and its sunshine and rainbows… but when we practice self-awareness and mindfulness we learn to process.

Take today for instance… or this time of year for that matter. I know its a hard time of year for me. As my motivation decreases, distractibility increases, and I easily cry, I know its because the associations, its triggering. I wish my birthday wasn’t such a trigger… I definitely find reasons to be thankful. I think by thinking that I have to be happy or excited around this time, I set myself up. Isn’t it just an expectation that society has placed on us that our birthday should be an exciting time of year? Because as kids our birthdays meant parties, family, fun, and gifts. Not to say those aren’t all good things.

Anyway, my train of thought it like woooo… happens a lot.

I think its important to understand that associations can change, feelings evolve, and our perspective and self-awareness can help shape a lot of that. I know this is a hard time and I also know that happiness in this time is also a thing. The duality of adulthood and if you haven’t seen Inside Out… I mean simply said. The duality of emotion is a beautiful and complicated thing. So though I may be sad, I’ve learned to lean into the joy.

If you’re struggling with grief, comparison, growing up, accepting change, whatever it may be, just know you’re not alone. Thank you to all my loved ones and those of you who still pop in to read my now very occasional posts and external processing. I am very thankful for all the people in my life and even for those who aren’t.

“Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbon.” - Ann Rush Schabacker

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joeyskattebo · 2 years

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ORRORIN Chapter 1 part 1

Ten thousand years ago, somewhere between the Tigris and Euphrates River, farmers are hard at work; all over the region people are beginning to build villages and domestic crops. The farms are in the villages; people are now starting to eat and sleep in one place. People have been hunting, gathering and traveling from one place to another in the search for food and shelter; like all the other animals. People have migrating for millions of years up until this point; and in Foof, the biggest village between Tigris and Euphrates River, is an ambitious farmer named Dir. He is an single father of Gos, his eight year daughter; Fom his wife, died a year ago and they have been migrating ever since, stopping occasionally. Dir hasn’t taken much time to grief; Gos and him have been traveling the world ever since, and now have finally settled down. Gos misses her family, but Dir didn’t want to talk to them about Fom. He just wanted to take Gos and move far away, though Gos and Dir both like Foof. Gos had always liked animals, and wherever she has lived, and whenever she is alone, she talks to animals and they talk back. She always had a knack for figuring how to speak their language. And today Gos was talking to some birds, by some trees:

“Hello Ktis, how are you?”

“I am well Gos, and yourself?’

“I’m good, you have a nice place here,” she said squinting from the sun light.

“Let me come down to you, child,” Ktis said before he swooped down. He flew down to her in the shade of the tree he was preaching on. Gos walked into the shade of the tree to talk to Ktis: “A storm is coming Gos t, people shouldn’t be outside today.”

“I know, the winds have picked up,” she said in the cool shade; this is a hot place and the all mighty sun can be cruel.

“Everyone else is preparing for the storm tonight, what are your father and his friends doing this afternoon?”

“They know about the storm Ktis, but they wanted to work the fields more.”

“The winds will blow their seeds away, and all their top soil will blow away as well,” Ktis said as two birds above them swooped down.

“Well if it isn’t little post ape,” sneered a large bird with the other bird standing nearby, and staring at Gos. Gos wasn’t afraid of these birds, and just stared at him and said:

“I’m not afraid of you, Fer!”

“Leave her alone boys,” Ktis said at the same time. The other bird’s name was Rone, and he quickly interjected:

“This doesn’t concern you Ktis.” Ktis just stared at Rone as he looked at her just as coldly.

“Oh you’re not, well your Daddy and his pals better be afraid of this storm that is coming,” Fer said smugly as he moved closer to Gos as Ktis and Rone argued.

“Fly away big beak!” Gos said mockingly. Fer gave Gos a look, when Rone said:

“Why do you talk to the hairless apes, Ktis?”

“Because they talk to me Rone.”

“I keep to my own kind.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” Ktis said. Rone ignored Ktis:

“You know Gos it is unwise to disobey the laws of the nature.”

“I know that Rone.”

“Do you, child?”

“Yes I do!”

“Well then, I guess my work is done,” Rone said before he and Fer flew away.

“Don’t listen to them Gos,” Ktis said in a comforting manner.

“I won’t Ktis, they’re stupid.”

“They don’t like anyone who is not of their kind, they barely like other birds,” Ktis said seriously.

“That’s sad,” Gos said.

“Yes it is Gos. Well child, I must be going to find some lunch today, have a wonderful day,” Ktis said before she started to fly away.

“Ok you too, Ktis!” Gos said as she waved goodbye. She then ran around in the shade and played with a stick as Dir worked in the field nearby. Dir was plowing the field in the hot sun as other farmers were doing the same close by. Everyone was working, when Dir stopped and stood upright to shout:

“Come on everybody! Let’s plow this whole field, and plant all of the crops!”

“Dir we can’t plant everything today, it’s too windy,” said a tall woman standing next to him.

“She’s right Dir,” said the elderly woman standing to her.

“Yeah Dir, we’ve been working in the sun all day, we should go home soon,” said the bearded man standing behind Dir. Everyone else there seemed to agree; this made Dir angry.

“Fine you cowards! I’ll work until the sun goes down!”

“Dir a storm is coming, you will lose your crops,” said the young man in the back of the group.

“No I won’t, you all are just afraid of hard work!” Everyone laughed at him, then walked back into the village. Most people were weary of Dir, he seemed too eager and full of himself, and no one knew anything about Fom. Dir sees himself as a revolutionary, he wants to build large buildings, and expand Foof as far as possible at any means necessary. He loved Gos, and that was the purest thing about him. Dir continues to work in the hot sun, as Gos continues to play in the shade. She is running around a tall tree that was surrounded by hot sand, when a monkey who is at the top of the tree speaks:

“Hello down there!” Gos stops running and looks up and says:

“Hi, how are you?”

“I am well, and how are you?” she said as she climbed down the tree and then stood next to Gos.

“I’m good!” she said as she reached her hand to the monkeys, as the monkey was reaching her out to Gos and then they shook hands.

“It sure is a hot day, child,” said the monkey eating a piece of fruit.

“Yes it is! Let’s go to the shade,” Gos said loudly

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

“What is your name?” Gos said. The monkey continued to eat her fruit, and then said:

“Avas.”

“Nice to meet you Avas, my name is Gos.”

“Nice to meet you, Gos!” she said. “May I ask you a question?”

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dirty-brainrot · 3 years

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(Shortie Perks)

Just the sdc boob headcanons with short stories. A drabble (?) I’ll post a more serious and longer one on monday.

Stardust Crusaders x Reader

Normally, people would complain and argue that being short is the worst. Like, not being able to reach high places, making fun of, being unable to see through crowds, etc. But you? Yeah, it is bad but this makes it very worth it.

Standing beside 5 incredibly tall men, you smile. You get to see their boobs because you are at boob height with them. Does it make it hard to communicate with them? Yes. You always have to crane your neck up, making it feel all sore but the free boobs? Worth it.

Actually, let me tell you the greatest tiddie moments during your time with the crusaders.

First off, Jotaro's

You stumbled across an evil stand user, DIO's lackey. They were really strong and managed to nearly defeat you but Jotaro managed to arrive in time. The enemy stand user grabs you and throws you to Jotaro, assuming he would get off guard. But he catches you in his arms and hugs you closer to him. And wowie you felt all your energy return back, as if you didn't just get demolished by a stand user. As he was going to call [Star Platinum] you summoned your stand and gave the stand user a beatdown. All while you stay in Jotaro's arms and subtly grabbing his tiddies.

Jotaro was taken aback by the sudden energy but chuckles. He hides his smile under his hat but you could see it very clearly. "Jotaro can you take me to the hotel? I can't feel my legs.." He holds you up into the bridal position while you gave him a huge grin. "Good grief..."

On rare occasions, he would tease you about it.

Next, Mr. Joestar

He has a keen eye and notices you often staring onto the other crusader's man jugs. So he tests this theory out by bringing you to a crowded place.

"Mr. Joestar?? I can't fi—" You hit a hard chest, it's clothed with the same color as Joseph's and it was also huge so it's safe to assume it's him. "Mr. Joestar... I don't do well with crowded places." You look up at him, with your hands on his chest while being shoved around by strangers. "Is that so?" He scratches his head while you squint at him suspiciously. 'He's planning something...' Joseph animatedly turns his head, averting eyes, and whistles. You sighed and pat his chest. "I'm going back to the hotel." With that, you pushed your way through the crowd and went back. He wasn't sure if the pat was enough to confirm his suspicions but he sure will try something else.

Avdol,

Nights in Egypt are cold and it seems like this night was the coldest. The hotel's sheets were very thin, not enough to provide warmth and knock you out. Avdol could see you visibly shaking, desperately wrapping the sheet around you tightly for warmth. "Y/N?" He calls to you. You mumble a small "y-yeah?" And peeked your head through the covers to look at him. "I don't wanna sound improper but you look really cold." He scoots over in his bed. "Join me." He pats the empty spot. "Ca..can I?" He nods. You grabbed all your pillows and thin blanket and laid beside him, scooting close to him to get more warmth. He learned the boob thing you have going on with Jotaro and Joseph. This moment seems to confirm it.

You snuggled closer to him. "Is it ok if I cuddle you?" He nods his head and muttered, "sure." Taking this chance, you stuffed your face on his warm chest with your hands in front of you, squeeze between your bodies. And let's just say that you slept like a baby throughout that night.

Kakyoin,

Your experience with him is rather clichè.

Walking around the town, you searched for your friends since you got separated from Polnareff. And there you saw a familiar red hair and green uniform. Kakyoin was walking around and Jotaro was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, Kakyoin!" You ran up to him but only to trip when you were near him. He turns around hearing your voice and accidentally bringing him with you. You faceplanted on his chest. It was hard and it hurt.

Embarrassed, you immediately scooted away. "I'm so sorry, Kak!" He sits upright, groaning while you look at his head for any injuries. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry for that..." He laughs and shooks it off and you help him stood up. "It's fine. Maybe don't run next time."

And then Polnareff,

He would always pull you into a boob hug whenever he could. He also would always stick close to you so you would often hit your face on his boy milkers. Ironically the horniest man is the most oblivious one, he would probably be oblivious to your interest in boobs until someone points it out to him.

Looking through some goodies on the market, you heard Polnareff call you. Turning around, you hit something soft yet hard. The impact made you bounce away and fall but thankfully he was quick enough to catch you. "Sorry, fleur! Didn't mean to be so close!" And dear god. Your face was on his boobs because they were just so big. Muffled you told him. "It's ok." And then he proceeds to hug you closer to him. "I thought I lost you! Mr. Joestar said to not leave their buddy behind!" You almost passed out that time because it took him a while to realize that you were suffocating on his breasts.

And that concludes Y/N's Boobie Adventures.

I SWEAR THIS IS THE LAST BOOB THING I DO- next is coc— jk

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moons-lab · 3 years

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When playing the hikikomori run, I really hoped one chore would involve Sunny going outside and accidently running into Kel. Ofcourse the whole point of a hikikomori is to stay indoors, but I had already imagined different senarios of what might’ve happened. I know Sunny isn’t this expresive but I like drawing expresions ok >:(

Here’s my idea of what would’ve happened if one of the chores did involve going outside. I’m no writer so if anyone wants to fleshen out this idea, please do so. - As in my little comic, the chore would involve Sunny having to go to one of the stores to buy something. Like maybe buying flowers to go visit his sisters grave one last time before moving away. - On the last day, Kel would be having a picknick with his family at the Faraway park, as he does in the normal route of the game - When on his way towards the stores, Sunny runs into Kel. - I like to think Kel felt a lot of guilt and sort of responsible for not being able to get Sunny out of the house after his siters death. - Kel always held hope that maybe him and his friends could rekindle. After Mari’s death he tried really hard to hold everyone together, but wasn’t succesfull. - When he notices that Sunny’s house was up for sale, he tried to get in touch again. But after many failed attempt he gives up. - At the park Kel immedietly sprints torwards Sunny, happy as can be. He wants to spent as much time with him as possible with his best friend, before he moves away. - Even if the time spent together is running around doing chores. He just wants to hang out with Sunny one last time. - Especially after failing to get Sunny out of the house on the ‘three days left’ he’s more than happy to finally see him outside of the house - When Sunny rejects him, he’s taken aback. - Kel is left, thinking that all this time Sunny spent in the house/ didn’t open the door, was not because of grief, but because Sunny just doesn’t want to spent any time with him. - Sunny just goes about his day, buying the flowers and eventually bringing them to Mari. (maybe meeting Aubrey at the graveyard which would’ve lead to a confrontation :0)

I hate that Sunny’s mom tells us that Kel seems very lonely, cause that means he was lonely for four years and now after those four very lonely years, he gets rejected by his supposed ‘childhood best friend’.

English isn’t my first language sorry

#Omori #omori fanart #omORI GAME #omori spoilers #omori kel #omori sunny #my art #WHY DOES MY ARTSTYLE CHANGE EVERY PANEL #omori comic #hikikomori #hikikomori run #something

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slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction · 2 years

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Gilmore Girls fic recs a-plenty

OK, so in answer to an ask from edwardsparklehands and an anon, here’s some rambling recs for GG/literati fic! Tagged users both here (if I can find you) and in AO3, hope that’s OK, kids.

This is absolutely not an exhaustive list – I can be picky af and these are just fics or series that have really stuck with me. And they're not in any order. There’s also tons on my bookmarks list on AO3, but figured I should just try and keep this short. Which it is not.

Anyway, there’s tons of excellent stuff out there, all depending on what you’re looking for. I’ll try and give you finished works too, but there are LOADS of wips that I follow and haven’t mentioned that are worth checking out. Also want to preface this with a caveat – I have no idea what your preference is re warnings or ratings, so always go by what the author has rated/tagged.

The Harvest Moon series by @mrsmess/MrsMess is divine. The eponymous fic is seriously one of my all time favourite literati fics. Rory is dealing with the grief of losing Richard and goes to Luke’s fishing cabin for some time to herself and Jess is there fixing it up. It is just so breathtakingly beautiful, the way grief is explored and how Rory comes to terms with what’s always been there with Jess. Aw man, MrsMess has loads of excellent fic, actually. Bluegirls Come in Every Size, Startstruck (Groundhog Day inspired genius), A Form of Attraction (bodyswap, bitches) far too many to list, so go choose!

Wild Geese by @rudeflower/therudestflower. Oh man, this one. Jess-centric with only the barest hint of Rory – like, minimal, so fyi in case you’re looking for hardcore literati. Truncheon folds and Jess has to move back to Stars Hollow to get his shit together. Delves into his and Liz’s relationship and boy does it go hard. There’s a couple more works in the series that are perfect follow-ups too.

You can’t go wrong with anything by @rorygilmoregf/peterstank. I got sucked in by the weight we carry and it absolutely broke me, but in such a good way. Follows the show from Jess’s POV mostly, but gives him back story and fills his character out so well. Eventually has Rory POV and there’s plenty of literati goodness. Distilla truant is an AU of Jess in Chilton and it is so goooooood. Also, there’s a series called wrapped up in books and it’s an au/fix-it from the Real Paul Anka episode and it is just so wonderful. As is the new lux et veritas where Rory meets Jess in Yale. Just, yeah, go read.

Desdemona's Handkerchief by @stellaluna33/Stellaluna33 is like a lost scene from Teach me Tonight. Just seeing these two knuckleheads being adorbs and lovely and dancing around each other is so sweet – something I would’ve loved to have seen more of on the show. Stellaluna also wrote the gorgeous wip The Long and Winding Road, which I love – it’s on fanfiction.net and ye gads I don’t like the that site’s interface so I flap about like an old lady and get very confused so apologies to Stellaluna for not commenting on it but I LOVE IT and wait with baited breath for more!!

Ah man, pretty much anything by @missgoalie75/missgoalie75, another fandom heavy-hitter imho. To Move With Purpose, the Sense8 AU (LOVE THIS), Get Out of This Place While We Still Have Time, this is all addition by subtraction – all excellent literati. I’m gonna let a cat amongst the pigeons and say Weather Me is one of my favourite GG fics, but it’s Jess/Paris set post-revival – a pairing I thought I’d never read because I’m a literati diehard, but their writing is just so good that I had to read and I was not disappointed.

@gingerteaonthetardis/gingerteaandsympathy has two recent GG fics that are just * chef’s kiss * always crashing in the same car reimagines events in Teach Me Tonight if Rory was driving; it’s all one night and yet there is so much character development it’s astonishing. A thing in itself is an alternate ending to s4e12, A Family Matters, where Jess goes back to Stars Hollow to pick his car up. What if Rory and Jess actually talked things out? I would very much say this.

Truth, Fiction, and Rose-Colored Glasses by @hawthornewhisperer/HawthorneWhisperer figure things out post-revival. This is so soft and lovely and just, yeah. Love it.

It’s a Mixed Up, Muddled Up, Shook Up World (Except for Lola) by @this-is-not-my-dream-blog/cyrene. Post-revival, Jess is just there for Rory and the baby, being all protective and pining and adorable and shit. Yes please.

Eurydice Backwards by @notthereneveraround/notthereneveraround. I adore this conceit; exquisite storytelling.

To You, From Me by 70sBabe – notes Rory and Jess have left for each other. Tracks their relationship through the show and them diverges – love it. 70sBabe has LOADS of excellent fic – I loved this must be the place (flatshare au) and call it what you want (canon divergence, set around 2013, they go on a roadtrip – ugh, the feels).

The Subsect by @truncheonpress/truncheonpress – literally what it says LOL A masterfully meta piece of writing – the author writes as Jess writing his book which is about his life. So densely packed full of detail and references that, like, an embarrassing amount of it is lost on me, but that doesn’t detract from the enjoyment of the writing. It’s incredible. And it’s a wip btw.

ETA: dammit, missed gave me the blues by madwoman14! Rory, Dean, Logan and Jess as colours and how they interact. So gorgeous.

OMG ETA AGAIN: how in the name of Mariano did I forget @jenlindleygf/pambeesly's gorgeous fic that absolutely devastated me, you could call me babe for the weekend! Jess and Rory start up a no-strings attached relationship while in Stars Hollow for the holidays and my god is it good. MY GOD IS IT GOOOOOOOOD. But also part of a larger series and I am (not so) patiently waiting for more coz ❤️❤️❤️

And, come on, I would be remiss if I didn’t stick my fics in here too. Because I crave love and attention and I’m actually really happy about them LOL Not Time’s Fool is my attempt to fill in the gaps of AYITL, with a little pre-revival chapter thrown in there too. The sexy times in chapters 1 and 2 is very much explicit, so be warned. But there’s loads of fluff and angst and love and banter and stuff too so, ya know. Letters to a Lost Love is post-AYITL by a few years; just a little domestic fluff scene where Rory talks to Jess about a Truncheon book she loves, and Jess has a confession. And the immediately post-AYITL Ride’em high, kids is shameless, gratuitous, lascivious ogling Jess in shorts because yeah.

OK, I need to stop now. I’m gonna go read more fic and stare at my wips LOL

#gilmore girls #fic recs #fanfic #reading is fundamental #spread the love

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luthienne · 3 years

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do u have any poems/works/just any words at all about feeling like your body isn’t yours or like it’s your enemy?? i’m in a battle with gender dysphoria and rn it’s winning and i hate it

dear anon.... i have felt like my body is my enemy, like it does nothing but betray me and do what i don’t want and try to protect me in all the wrong ways, but i think for different reasons. and so i don’t know that my coping strategies would help and i don’t want to assume anything of your own experiences... but most of these are words that speak to me when i am feeling at war w my own body and i hope they help at all... i’m sending you so much love <3

“I’m not sure it is possible to articulate grief through language. You can say, I was so sad I thought my bones would collapse. I thought I would die. But language always falls short of the body when it comes to the intensity of corporeal experience. The best we can do is bring language in relationship to corporeal experience—bring words close to the body—as close as possible. Close enough to shatter them. Or close enough to knock a body out. To bring language close to the intensity of experiences like love or death or grief or pain is to push on the affect of language. Its sounds and grunts and ecstatic noises. The ritual sense of language. Or the cry.”

— Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water

“I have always tried to make a home for myself, but I have not felt at home in myself. I have worked hard at being the hero of my own life, but every time I checked the register of displaced persons, I was still on it. I didn’t know how to belong. Longing? Yes. Belonging? No.”

— Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

“These days, someone else / inhabits this body, perhaps / someone you do not want to be. / The soliloquy of these thoughts / all amassing to one, is bluest too: / you are not you.”

“Who knows you, knows / this, this thing hidden / beneath your skin? / See how it glows at night / when everyone else is asleep / in a dreamless world, see how / it seems to breathe a different air, / and exhale only poison, like the / greenest plant in an empty room. / There’s the metaphor / you’ve been looking for: / you are the empty room. / And now sit: / your poison is just settling in.”

“...and this kind of sorrow does not let you be / who you want to be,”

— Mahtem Shiferraw, from Your Body is War

“I even distrust my own shadow,”

— Frida Kahlo, ‘You are always with me: Letters to mama,’ c. 1st January 1931

“I wake with my hand held over the place of grief in my body. / ‘Depend on nothing,’ the voice advises, but even that is useless. / My ears are useless, my familiar and intimate tongue. / My protecting hand is useless, that wants to hold the single leaf to the tree / and say, Not this one, this one will be saved.”

— Jane Hirshfield, from After

“Today I forgot what it was I went looking for, my own face, or the shape of something I should love. I just watched the leaves gather around my feet, their small dead selves lighter now, unselved. Perhaps this is part of it, a willingness to forget the way the world has touched our bodies sharply,”

— Molly McCully Brown & Susannah Nevison, Post-Op Letters in the Field Between Us

“My friend and I call grief the beautiful terrible because it is a wound that opens you but also shows you the miracles of what is inside you. Rather than try to escape my griefs, I’m trying to recognize them as a wildness I can submerge myself in, to be washed clean by the very thing that aches me so deeply. To give my grief to a beloved’s body, to take her grief into my body, to rearrange ourselves with it and become both more and less of one another and of our own selves—this is a lucky thing.”

— Natalie Diaz

“How to explain that “trans” may work well enough as shorthand, but the quickly developing mainstream narrative it evokes (“born in the wrong body,” necessitating an orthopedic pilgrimage between two fixed destinations) is useless for some - but partially, or even profoundly, useful for others? That for some, “transitioning” may mean leaving one gender entirely behind, while for others it doesn’t? …How to explain, in a culture frantic for resolution, that sometimes the shit stays messy? I do not want the female gender that has been assigned to me at birth. Neither do I want the male gender that transsexual medicine can furnish and that the state will award me if I behave in the right way. I don’t want any of it. How to explain that for some, or for some at some times, this irresolution is OK - desirable, even - whereas for others, or for others at some times, it stays a source of conflict or grief? How does one get across the fact that the best way to find out how people feel about their gender or their sexuality is to listen to what they tell you, and to try to treat them accordingly, without shellacking over their version of reality with yours?”

— Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts

#ask #anon #i hope these were ok anon <333 #if anyone else has any suggestions... please feel free to add them in the comments <333 #gender dysphoria #long post #please feel free to ask me to tag

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