#and then i'll keep working on my mental and physical health | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenofcoquette · 3 months

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healthy habits i love :)

introduction:

hi loves! i wanted to share some healthy habits that i really enjoy for my body and my mind. these are things that make me feel better and work with my life :)

physical health:

staying active. i have practice for 2 hours on weekdays and like to do home workouts using small dumbells or just pilates on weekends.

stretching. stretching is so important to prevent injuries, improve mobility and balance.

eating 3 meals a day w/ fruits and vegtables.

taking vitamins. i have anemia so i've been taking iron tablets everyday w breakfast to help.

drinking enough water. i always track how much water i have- i usually drink a whole water bottle at school, 70ish% of one at practice, and more water at home.

having a skincare routine.

having a haircare routine & learning to style my hair.

at-home face massage. theyre just really relaxing

mentality/mental:

planning for the future. i like to think about what i'm doing after graduating high school (college) and how i'm going to get into my dream college. i make a plan to follow.

avoiding drama. honestly there's not much drama at my school to begin with, but either way i just avoid talking shit about people

reading! i read every night and when i finish my schoolwork and have nothing to do. it's relaxing

learning about current world events. i also like to stay up to date on what's going on in the world. it can be really sad but i think it’s important to be aware of what happens.

praying. i pray every night and i find it really peaceful and a way to be grateful by thanking God for all sorts of things in my life. sometimes i'll also just pray if i'm anxious, before a water polo game, or really whenever i feel like i should.

gratitude & reflection. i like to reflect on how i'm acting and also remind myself of everything to be grateful for. sometimes really small moments, like when i was getting my braces tightened i thought about how i'm lucky to even get to have dental work done.

journalling. i have a diary i write in every night which is just for fun, and then a spare binder w some lose paper where i vent when i'm feeling bad.

having hobbies. i like to keep myself busy so i have a lot of things i like to do at home like writing, reading, photography, sewing.

having a clean space. i keep my room clean (nothing on the floor, everything where it needs to be) and cleaning my backpack just so everything is easy to find and get.

beginning:

the key to growing is literally just doing small things everyday. overnight change is never attainable. if you want to add different habits/change something you need to make small, attainable, adjustments everyday.

do the best with what you have. this is the biggest point. there are certain things you might not be able to do because of your circumstances, so just do the best with what you have right now.

self respect. and of course, healthy self improvement is based in loving yourself and wanting to be better for the sake of improving your life. this is a whole journey within itself.

#that girl 2024 #that girl #self improvement #pink pilates princess #it girl #healthy habits #self care #queenofcoquette

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cheriladycl01 · 16 days

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I’d rather take my Whiskey neat - Lando Norris x Whiskey! Reader

Plot: Reader thinks she’s not good for gentle Lando Norris who has a smile bright as the morning and is soft as the rain…

Credit to micksradio

It can't be said I'm an early bird It's ten o'clock before I say a word Baby, I can never tell How do you sleep so well?

You never woke up early, you went to bed never earlier than 2am and were never up before 10am. It was a habit you'd got from university and it carried over into post graduation.

For Lando, he never found it an issue. In his mind you would have the bulk of the day together and everything he needed to do for racing, like his work out of time on the sim he could do when you were sleeping. Sometimes he liked to treat himself and have a lay in with you but for the most part Lando was an early riser.

Some mornings he really just loved watching you sleep... pushing your hair back a little before placing a kiss on your cheek and leaving for his morning run round Monaco.

You on the other hand hated it, but you couldn't help it, going to bed late was just part of your lifestyle now but guilt ate away at you, feeling as though Lando deserved someone better, someone who could cater to him better than you.

Despite you coming to bed, hours later than him he always felt most content when you were there with him, even if he couldn't cuddle into you because you were on your phone, or writing on your laptop he just liked the smell and feeling of your presence on the room.

You keep telling me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then

"Come on baby, getting up early isn't bad, it's so good for your mental and physical health and honestly i don't think you'll have these thoughts..." he's chuckle at you, sending you into yet another self-hatred spiral that makes you reconsider everything.

"Baby, you just need to fall asleep earlier, sometimes your still up when i wake up!" he chuckles at you and you'd frown, looking down again. You knew that some nights, on the bad ones that you'd be up until the sunrise, and hadn't yet slept, whereas Lando would be waking up, the golden rays across his gorgeous body.

Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great But while in this world

You were salt, he was sugar. He was the sun and you were the moon and sometimes you worked together beautifully like sweet and salted popcorn, or an eclipse but other times you were at these crossroads that made no sense.

You were an introvert, and Lando could be an introvert too, but that didn't mean he didn't like to go out and party, and ... of course that was great for him and you never stopped him but sometimes when he forced you to come out with him, it felt like you were in a completely different world. All of his friends were ... well they were friends with Lando and while having their own personalities, they werent the opposite to him.

Lando seemed so happy and content with his life, especially when out with friends, maybe it was because it was the only time you could stare and not be caught because there was so much present in bars and clubs he found himself, and you never saw the adoring looks he reserved for you at home when you were both wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa in matching pyjamas.

I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

One of the first moments when you realised a start difference between yourself and Lando was when you first went out for drinks win London with him and a few other drivers and their girlfriends.

"And the lady ..." the bartender asks with a smirk after he'd taken Lando's order of just a coke to start off with. Despite having only been together for a month, Lando was pretty protective of your guys relationship and his arm had come around you as the bartender waited.

"Just your house whiskey please, neat" you'd asked and all of his friends stopped their conversations to look round at you. Even the bartender seemed shocked.

"What?" you asked them all wondering if you'd said something offensive or rude.

"Nothing, don't even know how you and this Muppet are together, total opposites" Carlos had laughed before turning back to Rebbeca to continue their conversation.

"Whiskey, Neat? Tough Drink" Max had said before reaching out to hand Kelly her drink.

You'd been confused but that was what had started your thoughts.

Lando Norris, was far too sweet for your ... taste!

But that was according to everyone else. Even though you were the same age as Lando, because of how you spoke and who you'd surrounded yourself with in your earlier life people thought you were already pretty mature, but placing you next to Lando made him look like a kid in a candy store and you as his mother.

Lando Norris was everything you wished you were. Bright, happy, silly, kind ... and some says you felt like you were just Dark, Dispersed, Strict and Bitter.

And you'd convinced yourself you were sucking the life out of Lando Norris.

I aim low, I aim true and the ground's where I go I work late where I'm free from the phone And the job gets done But you worry some, I know

"Come on for once cant we do something spontaneous ... and I don't know out of your comfort zone, like ... not your job" he sighed one day.

He was a little ratty from the complicated previous race weekend that you'd had to miss due to work. And then you'd been working since he'd come back... into the late of the night. But you had deadlines to meet so it wasn't like you really had a choice. People were expecting stuff from you and you weren't going to not deliver.

"Baby, you know i cant. Next week once this is due in!" you'd sighed looking over at him for a split second before looking back at your laptop.

He left, going up to bed ... sad you hadn't come up with him again.

But who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate The rest of you like you're the TSA I wish that I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong

The conversation you were about to have with Lando you knew would be the hardest one you ever had.

He was so perfect, and pure and you could see you were slolwy starting to taint that. He'd started to sacrifice his sleep schedule to stay up late with you. He wouldn't hang out with his friends as much as he used to and you hated he was changing himself for you.

It didn't feel like you were with Lando Norris anymore. And that's why you got with him in the first place.

And god you loved him for those attributes.

You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait Until that day

He was bright, like a morning. Sometimes if it was around 4 or 5am and you'd just finished up with your work you'd purposely wait until the sun started to shine through the blinds just to see his back light up golden and his face smushed against the pillow his soft lips in a pout.

But you ... you were cold like a December Morning, when you would refuse to get out from under the covers and when you did slippers were a must because the cold wooden floors weren't a polite awakening.

He was soft, like a light drizzle along a pagoda where you could sit and listen to the water hit the ground for hours.

And you were a rain-storm, so harsh that when you went out in it the water would sting as it hit you.

He was pretty, so fucking pretty it hurt when you looked at him, pretty as a vine winding up the side of a castle that how flowers spurting from it.

You were the gnarly kind, with thorns that wrapped around and antient tree that looked like it was strangling the air from it.

Lando most of all was sweet, sweet like a grape when you bite into it and it has the crisp outer layer before the sweet juices explode in your mouth.

But you were like a crushed grape being made into fine wine, maybe a dry like a Cabernet Sauvignon.

And you would wait for him, maybe when he was a little older, more mature and maybe it was you who was destined to taint him and turn him into that bitter old man who had experienced the world as you had seen it.

But ... now wasn't the right time.

You would always take your Whiskey neat.

And Lando ...

Well.

He was far too sweet.

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honeytonedhottie · 3 months

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dear diary⋆.ೃ࿔*:･✨

keeping a diary is so much FUN and helpful not only for my mental health but for overall GIRLINESS. as someone who's been keeping a diary consistently for two years now, i'll be giving some diary resources and tips on how to get started and maintain a diary.

WHY ITS FUN TO HAVE A DIARY ;

i love to read past entries bcuz first, im rly rly funny and its fun to go back and read what i was writing about at that time and just reminisce on points in my life. it makes for great entertainment and it showcases growth that i've made and the way that my character changed or grew.

its been a game-changer for my mental health bcuz i have a little outlet where i can be completely transparent and just yap endlessly with no one to stop me or invade on my privacy.

TOOLS FOR A PHYSICAL DIARY ;

fluffy pink and purple pens

yummy scented glitter pens

past-able things (examples include ; cut outs from magazines, photos that you've taken and printed, stickers, memo sheets)

some print able and past able resources ;

decoration for the actual diary like glitter, stickers, ribbons, and frills.

for the actual diary , look for diaries that are pretty (for example, fluffy diaries)

more examples ;

TOOLS FOR A DIGITAL DIARY ;

a good writing tool (FOR MY DIARY, I USE NOTION)

cute headers + photos to insert into my diary, i find all of my photos on pinterest.

digital diaries are easily a lot less work then physical diaries which is why i keep a digital diary but keeping a physical diary is SO much fun too.

THE ACTUAL WRITING PART ;

everyone will write in their diaries in a different way based on whatever feels the most natural, but for me i start off my entries with "dear diary" and then write in the journal as though i was writing to a friend so its super comfy and relaxed.

i actually have a couple of writing outlets, so i have a journal and i have a diary. my diary is mostly for my day-to-day life. its updated 2x a week (tuesdays and thursdays) in my journal, thats less about my day to day and just random things i wanna write about.

STUFF THAT I HAVE IN MY JOURNAL ;

all about me

girlhood and the little joys of life

why im the most beautiful girl (with proof)

stuff i like

vaunting about myself

sweetest inbox letters (cuz ur all so sweet)

list of things i've consciously manifested so far this year

my car collection

tattoos i wanna get and why

my unholier thoughts

PROMPTS AND IDEAS ;

angel numbers

favorite song lyrics

list of things to manifest

a love letter (to yourself, crush, etc)

letter to your future/past self

lipstick stain log

current obsessions

pressed flowers

favorite sweet treats (ranked)

list ur crushes and celebrity crushes

favorite quotes in general

ppl that u look up to

doodles

all in all i think that journalling is such a fun and beneficial hobby and hopefully this post can help u to start something that u might rly love. ✨

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thebibliosphere · 1 year

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So, I've been getting a few "hey, so now you're fixed, you're going to write books faster now, right?" type messages, and hmmm. That's a loaded word right there. "Fixed."

Yeah, not too keen on that word.

What I assume these people mean to do is congratulate me on finding out a major cause of distress and illness in my life and offer well wishes for my continued relief and recovery. I assume that's what was really meant. But just to entertain the first part of that ask, no, I am not "fixed."

There is no "fixing" the kind of chronic illness or disabilities I have. My ailments are genetic and lifelong, and if you're new here, newly diagnosed at the start of the pandemic, so my treatment thus far has been limited. Most of it is things I have pieced together myself.

That I've been able to do anything over the last year when I suffered 215+ migraine days on top of the connective tissue disorder I have, and the other condition that causes spontaneous anaphylaxis--not to mention the unmedicated ADHD I cannot treat with meds (yet)--is nothing short of miraculous.

So, now that my migraines are improving thanks to finding out I have binocular vision disorder on top of all the other stuff, will I be writing books faster?

I can only hope so.

But I also cannot say, "yes, absolutely, one book a year from here on out," because I just do not have the physical and mental capacity to guarantee that. Nor am I going to inflict that kind of mental and physical torture on myself (again) because it's the exact kind of thing that causes my health to crash and burn. And here's the thing:

Every time I burn myself out. Every time I push myself too far to keep up, it takes longer and longer to recover. The harder I push myself, the fewer books I will produce. That's the truth of it.

So I get it, it's frustrating. You want more of the fun thing (and thank you so much for loving what I do!), but you'll have to bear with me a little bit longer.

I am finding my stride as a multiply disabled creator, and I've spent the last two years untangling the guilt and imposter syndrome I experience over being "popular" but not being well enough to produce work at the same pace as everyone else around me.

I have worked out a system that I hope will be sustainable instead of leading to the continuous cycle of burnout I was trapped in for 10+ years as an editor. I have safety nets and supports in place that I didn't have before, and hopefully, those will help too. Time will tell.

Am I excited to get back to work? Absolutely. I'm ecstatic at the prospect of having fewer migraine days and more coherent brain days. But I'm also going to take my time to enjoy the process as well. I'd like to enjoy the things I write too. And I hope you can appreciate that.

So thank you for understanding, and for your patience. If you decide you can't wait, I'll understand. But please don't send authors, even able-bodied, neurotypical ones, messages like that. It's unkind. And I don't think any of you mean to be unkind.

#personal #author stuff #I really hope this doesn't come off as nasty #but the word 'fixed' is making the depression gremlins rabid #and I needed to say something

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ros3ybabe · 4 months

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Day 1/90: 90-Day Challenge 🎀

Here we go again!!

Happy 1st of Febrary, lovelies 🩷

I was initially planning on coming back starting Monday but omg was I so tired after working all weekend and trying to keep up with school work. And now tomorrow is Friday, again? At least I'm not working double shifts this weekend, thankfully.

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

walked ~10k steps

ordered some groceries

attempted to go to the gym (was having a bad day so it did not work out like that)

🧠 Mental Health

not much, but had a well needed, sorta relationship check in with my boyfriend due to some worrisome and upsetting dreams I had the previous night

♥️ Emotional Health

distracted myself from being sad and grumpy

📚 Intellectual Health

completed and submitted my 1st psyc assignment

planned homework for the next week in my planner

wrote down a sheet of things to remember for chemistry

🏘 Adulting

recieved my new insurance card in the mail and the virtual copy as well

set up an appointment with my therapist for this month

set up an appointment with my psych doctor for this month

set up an appointment with my PCP for this month

submitted an order for my birth control + other medication thru my pharmacy app

paid rent + made a credit card payment

🥰 Self Care

washed a load of laundry

scheduled some cleaning chores for the weekend afternoons

set up a morning routine (in my notes app) for me to begin following

bought some more electrolyte waters for the week

today was honestly not the best day for me mental health wise, if I'm being completely honest. I nearly cried a little but, was definitely overly mean to myself, and felt like garbage for a good part of today. but that didn't stop me from making myself a good dinner, relaxing a bit, being productive, and ending the day in a good mood.

I have no clue what tomorrow's post is going to look like since I have an 8am to 230pm class (we're going to be cooking for ourselves in preparation for the mini restaurant well be running next week). Right after class I'll have to change my shirt and head up a small hill on campus to my job, where I'll work from about 3pm to 930ish pm. so we will see what happens in tomorrow's update!

til next time lovelies 🩷

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photogirl894 · 1 month

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Hey bestie! Congrats on 1300!!!!❤️❤️❤️

You deserve every single one of those followers and more!

Could you do the fluff prompt "Let me help you" with Hunter? Maybe the reader is really stressed/burnt out and Hunter just wants to take care of her. (If you wanna do it with a little hurt/comfort flair I definitely wouldn't mind 😂)

Thanks so much!

Thank you so much, my dear!! 💜 I'm happy to count you among my followers and friends!! 🥰

I got uh...slightly carried away with this one towards the end, I'll admit 😅 You'll see what I mean lol

"Emotional Engineering"

34. "Let me help you."

Pairing: Hunter x fem reader

***

Becoming an engineer was something you'd wanted since you were a teenager and you were asked in school the kind of career you wanted to pursue. You were smart and really good with ship parts, putting them together and fixing them and such. You thought becoming an engineer would be no problem.

Until you got to engineering school at the Republic Academy.

That was not easy by any means.

You were lucky to get an internship as an engineer working in the Republic shipyards that helped with some things during your schooling, but it still kept you busy and only added a bit more stress.

Then you were assigned to a squad during the war as part of your internship: Clone Force 99.

They were a fun group that you got along well with and they were supportive of your schooling, offering to help however they could. You were glad you got assigned to them...but it didn't help that you found yourself distracted by their leader, Sergeant Hunter.

You were so attracted to him in so many ways, it was almost ridiculous. Your thoughts wandered to him when you were supposed to be studying for exams and you couldn't focus. You imagined what it would be like if he held you...kissed you...roamed his hands and lips over your body....

"Stop that!" you'd say out loud to yourself before smacking your own face to break out of your daydream. You couldn't afford to think like that. One, because you were supposed to be studying and two, he was a soldier and technically, your commanding officer. There was no way he'd be interested in anything like that.

Those distractions paired with the stress of your schooling as well as your work was doing nothing for your physical and mental health.

You found yourself feeling burnt out eventually, pushing yourself to do more when you felt you couldn't go any further. You had to. You couldn't let yourself or your squad down, even if it was costing you sleep and time.

This was something Hunter soon noticed.

Concerned for you, he went to your apartment one day to check on you. When he got there, he saw your door was left unlocked, which was already a sign something was up. He walked inside and announced his presence, seeing you with your head down at your desk.

His voice woke you and you cried out, "Hydrospanner!" Then you groaned, realizing you'd fallen asleep again. This couldn't keep happening. You jumped when you heard Hunter say your name. "Hunter! What...how did you get in here?"

"You left your door unlocked," he told you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you said, even though your whole body felt heavy and exhausted. "I'm just trying to study for my final test."

"It looked like you were sleeping instead of studying," he remarked.

You shook your head. "No, really, I'm fine."

He walked up beside you and you had to look away. You were slightly freaking out that you two were alone in your apartment. Then he said, "You're not. You've been pushing yourself and not getting sleep. Don't think I haven't noticed. You should take a break."

"I can't. This test is too important. Once I take this test, I'll officially be an engineer."

"Then maybe I can help you study and keep you focused."

An involuntary squeak sounded from your throat at the proposition. You would be far from focused if he were there. "That won't be necessary, thanks," you replied quickly.

"Your heart rate just spiked," he pointed out. "Are you uncomfortable with me here?"

You whipped around in your chair to look up at him and blurted out, "No, no, it's not that! It's just...well, I...I wouldn't be able to focus at all if you were helping me."

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head curiously. "Why is that?"

You could feel your face turning red and heating up. Guess there was no way out now. "It's because...I'm really attracted to you and part of why I'm struggling is because I'm constantly distracted thinking about you."

His eyebrows rose up in surprise for a moment at your confession. Then he asked you, "What sort of things about me do you think about?"

Your throat closed up and you convulsed slightly in embarrassment as you turned away, not wanting to share the thoughts you'd had about him. What would he even begin to think if he knew?

However, Hunter had been able to sense the rushing of your heartbeat and that gave away everything...which made him smirk with satisfaction.

He knelt down next to you and laid a hand on your shoulder. "Look, sweetheart, you either need a break or you need to keep studying. Either way, I want to be here for you." He reached up with his other hand and gently guided your face so he could look into your eyes. "Let me help you."

The sincerity and care in his voice finally made something break inside you and, before you realized what you were doing, you leaned down and crushed your lips against his, catching him slightly off guard. Just as you were about to pull away, his hand cradled the back of your head and held you in place as he eagerly kissed you in return, which shocked you, but in a good way. Then his hands slid down your body to your thighs, he gripped them and pulled you forward a little, wrapping your legs around his surprisingly thin waist. Once he knew you were secure, one arm wrapped around you and the other came under your leg as he lifted you off the chair and into the air.

Breaking the kiss, he breathed out, his eyes dark with desire, "I'm deciding for you: you're taking a break with me. And that's an order."

Still catching your breath from his amazing kiss, you simply replied, "Yes, sir."

He carried you over to your couch and laid you down on your back. As he climbed over you, he said in a husky voice, "I can help bring all of your fantasies about me to life. I'd love to know the things you think about or imagine about me."

Your whole body went hot at his remarks and you found yourself unable to respond, unable to believe this was really happening.

Brushing some stray hair from your face, he added, "Maybe then, you'll be less distracted and can focus on your test."

"I...think that'll only distract me more," you replied.

He grinned mischievously. "Only one way to find out." Then his mouth found yours once more and his arms pulled you into him, his passion overtaking both him and you.

Needless to say...you ended up passing your final engineering test with flying colors.

Photogirl894's Fluff/Romance prompts

Photogirl894's 1,300 Followers celebration fics

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch hunter #sergeant hunter #my sergeant #bad batch prompts #hunter x reader #photogirl894 1300 followers

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yangbbokari · 8 months

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In my past, I find you and in the future, I still have you

Pairing: Bang Chan x F!reader Genre/AU/Tropes: Angst, lovers to exes and back to lovers, idol!AU Warnings: Breakup, a few(lots) tears, cursing, (it might hit close to home so read at your own risk), sick reader, memory loss WC: 2.5k Summary: Leaving Bang Chan was hard for you. But how hard would it be on Chan? (Not really a summary but yk ✨SUSPENSE✨) A.N: Okay so it won't stop bugging me and I'm eatin' this up. Also, this is very cliche, ik. so🤫🤫 Song Rec: Atlantis - Seafret, I Love You So - The Walters, If the world was ending - JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels

It's not that you didn't love him. It was that you couldn't. He already had so much work piled on him. Late nights at the studio and being overworked by his company was already taking a toll on not only his physical, but mental health too. Now in these circumstances, he didn't need you to add on to that.

You were diagnosed with a brain tumor last week. The doctors had said that you would slowly lose your memory over time and the operation was risky.

“It’s best to tell your loved ones so they will know when the time comes.”

But how could you do that to Chan. You wouldn’t want him to worry about you and forfeit his career. Yes, he would be an emotional wreck if you left him, but it’d be worse if you left his world completely.

What hurt your heart the most though, was that the universe seemed to be playing tricks on you.

“You’ll most likely lose about five years of your memory.”

Five years. Five years ago when you and Chan met. Isn’t that funny. It was making you forget him. Why though? Why did you have to forget the only person who made you truly happy?

So you had no choice. No choice but to let him go. Let him be happy with someone new. Someone who isn't you. As much as you wished that none of this fell on you, there wasn't really another option.

You let there be a slow let down. Drips of it at a time instead of a waterfall. A small flame instead of a blazing fire. I light breeze instead of raging winds. A tiny whisper instead of a loud voice.

So you packed your bags and waited for him. When he got home, late at night, or you could say an early time in the morning, you sat him down. He was clearly worried. It wasn't normal for you to be up this late let alone sitting him down like he'd done something wrong. Before you could even get a word out he grabbed your hands and starting speaking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for whatever I've done that makes you wish to leave me. Please don't end this. I'll fix whatever is wrong. You're... you're everything I could ask for so don't say anything about us seperating."

Why could he read you so well? How were you suppose to leave him when he looked at you like this? Why did he make it so hard for you to leave him? But you had to tell him one way or another. You took a shuddering breath before spilling it on him.

"I just don't think..." It was suffocating you. You didn't want to continue but you had to. Tears were already rushing to your eyes, ruining your plan. But you couldn't let him see them. "...I don't think I can continue o-our relationship."

"Why?" He said almost immediately.

You wanted to tell him the truth. Or at least give him a soft reason. But you knew you had to hurt him so that he would want to forget you.

"Because I'm tired. You come home at late times. You're probably out with some other girl while I sit at home, waiting for you. Besides, I'm tired of keeping this useless relationship a secret. How long have we been together, Christopher?"

"Don't call me that."

You knew him hearing his government name coming from your mouth would hurt him a little too deep.

"Four years... four years and not even the members know, Christopher."

"Don't call me that!" Tears brimmed his eyes as you spoke.

"I want someone who can be with me and have time for me. Someone who can show me off as if I'm his entire world."

"You are my entire world."

"I don't want to be anybody's SECRET anymore!"

The tears were threatening to push all boundaries and just fall. But you had to keep your resolve.

His grip on your hands tightened. "FIne. I'll take some time off a-and we can do whatever you want. A-and w-we'll go public. I-I-I don't want t-to hide you either so let's-"

"No. I'm done, Christopher. I'm done with all of this and I'm leaving."

Chan gradually moved from the couch and onto his knees, in front of you as he shook his head.

"Please don't call me that. Channie, babe, baby, anything but Christopher. And please... please don't leave me. I'll do anything just don't go. You're the best thing that could possibly happen in my life so d-don't go. You're my happiness. I-I don't know what to do without you. You're my life and soul. You're my everything. So don't walk away..."

You could feel his tears fall onto your lap and hands as he hung his head low. You wanted to sob your heart out. Tell him that this is only for a little while and you'll come back. But you couldn't. So you pushed him away. Walking to your shared bedroom and coming out with suitcases. Chan's eyes widened a he ran to your side.

"Where are you going? Are you seriously going to just leave everything behind? Please don't, please...? Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Let me go."

"Anything but that."

His hand rested over yours, stopping you. His eyes pleading you to stay. His breath shaky and unstable. His trembling body from the disbelief. His bothered mind, not wanting to believe this.

“I already said I’m tired and I’m leaving.”

“Take me with you.”

“I’m leaving you.”

You sent the words like sharp, cold icicles straight into his heart. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His whole world was falling apart.

No.

His whole world was walking away. Away from him. Away from everything they’ve ever created. Away from their love. His arms went limp and you did as you said. You left him. You walked away. ~~~ It’s been a year now. The operation was successful and you made it out safely. But not your memories. As life went on, you felt a little uncomfortable. Like something was missing. Someone was missing. You couldn’t pinpoint it though. So you found a new way to cope, K-pop.

It started recently. A month or two ago maybe. Not that you really could remember. Your friends introduced you to BTS and it just fascinated you. Recently, you started standing a new group, Stray Kids. You didn’t exactly have a bias yet. But, you were really drawn to one member in particular, Bang Chan. He brought you much warmth and for some reason, you kind of felt familiar with him. Like you’ve known him since forever even though you only discovered Stray Kids last week.

Your friend, Yuna, happened to have an extra Stray Kids concert ticket. How could you say no? It wasn’t until another two weeks. But, hello? You had to find the finest outfit out of what you already had. As you rummaged through your closet, a box fell from the top, and you dodged it quickly. The box broke open revealing photos, a diary, a necklace, a phone, and a couple of CDs.

The items weren’t something you recognized. Probably Yuna’s, you thought. But curiosity got the best of you. Yuna wouldn’t mind… right? So you gathered the items together before actually looking at them. Shocked, was an understatement.

There was photos of you and no other than, Bang Chan, together. Cuddling, kissing, canoodling, everything you could possibly find in the books. There’s no way. The person you’ve been admiring for a couple of weeks was… was… was someone you were infatuated with.

You put the rest of the items back into the box and rushed to living room. Placing the box on the table, you took out a few CDs and placed one in the CD player. It was without a doubt, Chan’s voice coming through the speakers. His soft voice singing a love song. You then took out the diary. It contained little moments that you recorded. Your eyes skimmed through the diary until the last page. Tears rushed to your eyes.

“Hi, me. Hi, Y/n. It’s me or you or us. I don’t really know. But I’m writing this because I want you to know about someone. Someone who helped you through everything. Christopher Bahng. Bang Chan. The man who you love most and who loves you most. Don’t forget him. Run to his side as soon as you read this. He’ll be waiting. I promise. If you forget about him, remember the most you possibly can. He’s the only one who will protect you and stay by you. You met at the cafe shop right outside of JYP. Your first date took place at the same place. You had your first kiss during a movie night at his place. His birthday is October 3rd, 1997. He’s your soulmate.”

You grabbed the phone and opened it. Thank god it was unlocked. Thank the past you who was smart enough not to put a password on it. Opening your camera roll, there was gazillion pictures of you and him. Your phone book had only his number in it. Everything on that phone had to do with him. Even the small little widgets.

Memories flooded your mind. It was all of him. Everything about him. You took a deep and shaky breath. Looking at his contact on this phone, you contemplated on pressing it. You ended up pressing it anyway. Now the problem was, how to call him. It was too nerve-wracking. Though it was only about 10 seconds, it felt like hours until you pressed, call. The other end connected almost immediately.

"Y/n... Hello?"

Your breath hitched. It really was him. The voice, the person, the missing peice. You finally found it.

"Y/n, are you there? P-please let it be you. I ran from practice once I knew it was you. Hello? Please say som-"

And you hung up. Everything was finally clicking. Now you knew why you felt like you've known him since forever. Why you felt you had a missing piece. He was there all along and you were just too stupid to realize it.

You finally let your long held breath out. Your heart beating at a rapid pace. Everything felt so surreal. As much as you wished to deny it, you knew it was all true. ~~~ When the time of the concert came, you were ready. Emotionally, probably not. But physically, definitely. You placed the necklace around your neck. The one you had found in the box. It was a galaxie pendant with your's and Chan's intitials written on the back. You dressed exactly how he liked. Well not exactly, but close. He usually prefered you in what you were most comfortable in. But you knew he absolutely loved when you were fully in black. Preferably, a skin tight dress. So that's what you wore. You did a small touch of makeup with a coral shade of lipstick. It was his favortite shade on you. Even though he really liked your natural beauty.

You mustered up all the courage left in you and you went to the concert. Were you scared? The answer was yes. You weren't sure what to expect but that didn't mean it didn't made you scared.

Yuna managed to get her hands on V.I.P tickets which meant you could even go backstage. Your head was jumbled of all the things you were gonna tell him. It made you feel kind of guilty for leaving him like he was nothing just to run back to him. But you still loved him and you weren't gonna let anything get in the way this time.

Eventually, you made it. But you were now standing in the front, extremely nervous. What would he think when he saw you again? Would he be mad at you?

No one but you two knew of your previous relationship. So not even Yuna would have known that she was taking you to the one person you loved.

As soon as they entered the stage, you froze in place. Your eyes couldn't leave his figure. They followed every single one of his movements. What you didn't expect though, even though you should've, was when his eyes found you.

It was after the first song ended and they just started talking to the fans. As he scanned the gigantic crowd, his eyes softened. But when his eyes moved to the row in front of him, his eyes widened. They widened with shock, surprise, disbelief. There you were, standing in the audience of a concert for him. It has always been a dream of his to see you at his concert.

You took off as soon as you saw his eyes widen. You most definitely were not ready for that. You should’ve mentally prepared yourself better. Your heart wouldn’t stop beating rapidly. ~~~ It wasn’t until after the concert that you finally came back. Yuna had to drag you backstage. She kept teasing you for being so shy. But if only she knew. In the end, you were face to face with each of the members. You didn’t do anything, staying still.

Bang Chan had a whole lot of self control, to not run to you and hug you. But Yuna just had to have such a big mouth and said, “ Y/n’s favorite member is Chan! She had her eyes on you the whole time. Was even too nervous to come back here and meet you.”

You face completely flushed with a deep color of pink, immediately looking at Chan. Nervously chuckling as you inputted, “Y-yeah… haha..” Now you both were clearly uncomfortable. The silence kept between the two of you was insufferable as the others teased you. ~~~ Somehow, you were now trapped in a room with Chan. The others left to give you some “privacy,” or so the called it. It felt like hours before one of you finally spoke.

“Hey, y/n…” He said.

“Hey…”

“How’ve you b—”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

A few moments of silence fell between you again.

“I’m sorry for leaving you and saying things so horrible.” Now tears started clouding your vision as you talked. “I actually didn’t want that. It was all a mistake a-and I really really miss everything we had. I know I sound stupid. But I lied. I lied about everything and I should’ve told you the truth. I-I-I-I had a brain tumor.” Your tears were a full on waterfall now and they definitely weren’t stopping anytime soon. “And I was scared I would affect your career. I was scared that I would forget you, us and everything we had.”

Without a doubt, Chan was also crying. He quickly came to hug you and comfort you. He hushed you down.

“N-no it’s okay. I know it must’ve been hard. I should’ve kept pursuing you and staying by your side no matter what.”

“Don’t blame yourself. You had no choice but to believe me. I was the one who left.”

He just shook his head and held you as close as possible.

“But you’re here now, aren’t you?” He asked before you nodded your head. “See, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

Let’s just sayyyyyyy, y’all made up just fine and now you’re happy. Yuna and the other members were shocked for sure but it all went well. The two of you were now together and that’s how it would be, forever. ~~~ another a.n: sry for the ass ending y’all😭 but I didn’t know how to end it with a make up so that’s what I gave. It was also super rushed so sry for that too. Maknae line pt.2 should b out by tmrw so don’t worry. Love y’all though!!!😘😖💗

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dreambunnynotes · 6 months

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weekly note: december 10th

hello angels! i hope you're all taking good care of yourselves and having a lovely day. i'm excited for the week ahead, i'm going to try to go easy on myself this week while still making progress in order to build up better discipline! here are my goals for the week.

appearance and physical health:

find a way to romanticize an early sleep schedule to trick my brain into actually wanting to go to bed, oof. i'm going to try to make a post on this in case it helps anyone else out!

go to the gym at least once, and fight the perfectionist urge that says "if i miss it on monday or tuesday i shouldn't go at all" - i'll go when i have the energy and ability to!

drink way more water; girl the amount of crying i did this week it feels like i have to drink an ocean a day to catch up 😭 going to try to keep a water bottle by my desk and keep track of my water intake somehow.

studying and career:

figure out what i need to do to apply to the program and make a plan, including looking into bank loans and financial planning

work on sheet music arrangement for current song on guitar

get comfortable with all major scales, focusing on accuracy

look into what my favourite musicians studied so that i can make a more specific practice routine and remove barriers to practicing

mental and emotional health:

listen to what my heart needs! this past week i had some incredibly hard conversations that were very triggering and emotionally draining, and i can feel my little heart and mind are needing extra emotional rest right now. i am going to make sure i am connecting with people who bring me joy and not forcing myself to talk to people i don't want to talk to. i'm going to channel the sweet and caring energy of my departed best friend who taught me how to listen to my boundaries, and try to honour myself the way he did.

if i am feeling up to it, i am going to visit one of my friends who is in town for a show who i haven't seen in forever!

lets have a great week, friends!

with love, bunny❤︎

#becoming that girl #dream girl #dream life #girlblogging #glow up #it girl #productivity #that girl #clean girl #pink pilates girl #self improvement #wonyoungism #self care #self love

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breathing-the-same-air · 3 months

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Hey, lovely souls. Just here to spread a kind word for anyone who's feeling (understandably) down today🩷

So OFMD has been officially cancelled. Is this the end? Of course not. It will never be.

I mean, even if we'd got S3 there would have been an end to it too. Is it unfair that our awesome cast & producers didn't get to finish what they started in the way they envisioned it? Of course. Is the tv industry absolute shit? Hell yes! So many good shows are cancelled every day, and so many more never even get to exist. We got OFMD for two seasons, a blessing none of us ever expected, that changed our lives in so many ways, that saved so many lives. And if you think about the ending, even though the last episode was rushed and budget was cut and all, we still got such a wonderful, poetic ending, Ed and Stede are together in their inn, love in their eyes, they're safe, they're happy, honestly I couldn't have asked for anything better.

The thing is, things in life are limited (apparently), but the underlying truth to that is that things that truly matter are infinite.

How so? I'll tell you a scientific truth: time does not exist, at least not as we understand it. Because time is just like space, ever-present, every moment in time is actually forever alive. Nothing can ever truly die.

Which leads to another truth: we are infinite, just like the Universe, for we are Universe too. We are stardust and love, and Love is infinite.

We are all one, you and I and everyone out there, we're one same thing. There is no end to something that was created with love. And damn, I've never seen such an outrageous, wonderful outburst of love in my whole life! There is true magic in what we created together, fans, cast, crew, producers... we healed one another, we came together because one day someone just as crazy as us envisioned this absolutely mad world of kindness and inclusion and diversity and sheer joy and against all odds the moment we saw it we jumped on the ship without thinking twice. We made it possible for this show to get a second season, and more than anything, we built this wonderful world around it.

Stories are so much more than imagination, they're not just actors playing a role, there is a point where it stops being just a story and becomes a world on its own, and that world translates into our world, and when that magic happens, when that bridge is created, something so much bigger emerges that forever merges both worlds. It's magic and it's a blessing and I can't but be thankful for it.

My loves, I know you're sad right now. I know we all are struggling for one reason or another, we're all fighting our own battles, be it about physical or mental health, work, study, family, discrimination, or anything else. And OFMD has fought by our side and helped us win so many of those battles already. So when you're in middle of the darkness and can't imagine there could ever be light outside, remember this: we are all with you, right here, right now. Wherever you are, we are with you, and OFMD is with you. Because the things we love do never truly leave us.

We keep saying that OFMD changed us, right? That means that it's become a part of us.

OFMD is and will forever be a part of who you are—and in you, it will live on forever. Be grateful, be immensely grateful, for gratefulness is the vibration that heals the fabric of the Universe and makes miracle happens. Crew, we got something we could never have imagined to begin with!! We are so, so lucky to have had this blessing.

Take the time you need to heal, cry, let out all your pain. But then please be brave and choose kindness, just like OFMD has taught us to. Choose to raise your vibration to that of love and gentleness and dare to believe that life has wonderful things waiting for you. There is hope, there is light, there is magic in your future, a whole life just waiting for you to have the courage to take the next step.

What do you think the crew of the Revenge would have done if they had been told their ship was going to forever stop sailing? They would have thrown another Calypso's birthday party just to celebrate the chance they had to spend so much time there together, and they would have looked forward, found new reasons to be happy, and a new life. Open an inn, for instance!

They would not want us to cry, they would like us to smile and be happy because of the journey we've shared. Or at least, smile through our tears!

You are loved, you are important, your very existence is an absolute blessing to this world. Please never stop being your awesome, beautiful, magical self, because the world needs you exactly as you are- that is why you are here!

Cheer up Crew - we have been so immensely blessed. Can only be thankful 🙏💜🏴‍☠️🖤

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breelandwalker · 1 year

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Sneak Peek - Spoons In Spades

At a little distance he saw a fire, and beside it there sat three giants, busy with broth and beef. They were so huge that the spoons they used were as large as spades, and their forks as big as hay-forks: with these they lifted whole bucketfuls of broth and great joints of meat out of an enormous pot which was set on the ground between them.

- Niels and the Giants (The Crimson Fairy Book)

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Intent: To give oneself additional “spoons.”

Ideal Timing: This charm can be made at any time.

Materials:

Spoons

Large Jar

Cotton Balls

Herbs: Hyssop, Rosemary, Thyme, Juniper Berries

When I asked my readers what sort of spells they'd like to see in this second volume of fairytale-inspired spells, one of the most strikingly popular responses was, "Is there a spell to give me more spoons?"

If you're not familiar with the term, "spoons" or spoon theory is a metaphor which describes the reduction in mental and physical energy experienced by people who are disabled or chronically ill, with spoons used as a unit of measurement to represent how energy and motivation must be rationed throughout the day to accomplish necessary tasks. Spoons are only replenished through rest or sleep, so once a person runs out of spoons, that's it for their day.

The term was coined by Christine Miserandino in her 2003 article "The Spoon Theory," in which she uses dinnerware to demonstrate to a friend how living with invisible chronic illness required careful daily planning and prioritization, and how even with the best intentions and efforts, tasks are often left undone due to a lack of energy or an increase in pain. The term has since been adopted by wide sections of the online community in relation to struggles with disability, chronic illness, or mental health, as a descriptor for daily energy and motivation levels, i.e. "I don't have the spoons for this," or "After a full day at work, I have exactly one spoon left, and I need it for laundry, so going out is off the table."

As someone who regularly battles ADHD, anxiety, executive dysfunction, migraines, and depression, I'm a big fan of spoon theory, largely because it makes those invisible daily struggles, which so many of us have, much easier to visualize and explain. So in honor of all my fellow spoonies, here is a spell to help you gain those critical extra spoons.

For this spell, you'll need a fair-sized jar, some healing herbs, and a bunch of spoons. You can use plastic spoons or metal ones, if you happen to have spare silverware lying around. Use as many or as few spoons as you feel you need. If you need more spoons than can readily be acquired, you might draw or print out pictures or spoons and use those instead.

Place the spoons in the jar with a big handful of cotton balls. Apart from their mundane medical and cosmetic uses, cotton has healing magical properties and also represents the comfort that may feel lacking on low energy or high pain days. If desired, add several pinches of Hyssop, Rosemary, Thyme, and Juniper Berries, or a sachet containing the herbs if you'd rather keep things neat.

Close the jar, give it a big hug, and say:

I bless this jar and spoons And ask for the strength to function; And when I need a helping hand, These extra spoons I'll summon,

Set the jar aside somewhere safe. If desired, you might want to label it. You don't want anyone borrowing your magical spoons for their cereal, after all. When you need an extra boost to help you get through the day, simply open the jar and take out a spoon. You can carry the spoon with you, place it on your altar, or discard it to activate the charm.

Please keep in mind that performing this sort of magic should always be accompanied by appropriate medical and self-care measures. Magic isn't going to cure a chronic illness or permanently alter your brain chemistry. But it can help you cope with the symptoms and give you that all-important push to get yourself through the day. Stay strong, witches!

(If you'd like to check out more fairy-tale spells or any of my other published works, please visit the Willow Wings Witch Shop!)

#A gift for all my readers on my birthday - hope you enjoy!#witchcraft #witchblr #spells #spoonie witch #The Sisters Grimmoire II

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