#even if everything feels so fkn dark nd hopeless nd scary nd nightmarish rn. i cant leave my mom i just cant.
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#ok ok so what im hoping for now is that i'll pass my course#and that im fine for the surgery and that the surgery turns out well without any bad side effects or complications#then i can start recovering nd hopefully gettin my health back#after a couple of months i can probably start going to the gym again#then i'll also apply for a loan and do the rest of my classes thru distance#it'll be a lot of work but if im feeling ok physically nd can eat nd work our then it'll be fine#as i start feeling better i'll try to reach out to my sisters and talk to them. i miss them sm and i cant keep it like this#after the first classes are done i'll apply for 4 more classes nd a loan just to buy myself some time#and then i'll keep working on my mental and physical health#after that i'll either try getting a job or applying to uni or a craft/work related education#i'll keep trying to put myself in waiting lists for appartments#idk i will just keep trying with life. for my mom.#even if everything feels so fkn dark nd hopeless nd scary nd nightmarish rn. i cant leave my mom i just cant.#but im rlly hoping the surgery will go ok bc .. idk how to handle a life w all of those complications that can arise after#so im just rlly rlly hoping. my grandma nd great grandma removed their gallbladders nd they were fine. so im hoping i'll be too
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