#and maybe. MAYBE satan is third. but only because there were like. a lot of really hot satans in that illustrated satanic bible. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmicstarlatte · 1 year

Text

Manhandling Them (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

Look at you manhandling your favorite demon. Nice.

»Characters: Demon Bros

»Tags: Shitpost, Mildly Suggestive, Jealousy, Dom vibes I guess lol , GN Reader/MC

»Notes: I had my OC in mind for this since he's a big guy but this could work for anyone, bc hc in a hc, you're super strong in this world OKAY!?!?♡

Lucifer:

This old man never takes a fucking break. You find him working late into the night, fighting the sleep he very much needs. You tell him to go rest and continue the work tomorrow. He refuses of course because why would he ever take an order from you? "Oh? Nope! You're done for tonight. Up we go!" You say as you pull him out from his office chair and toss him over your shoulder.

What...what is happening?

[Fighting Status: Engaged]

Shifts into demon form and starts flailing around, yet it does nothing to you

"Put me down this instant!"

You just pat his wings down soothingly trying to calm him down

"Dont ruffle your feathers Luci, this is for your own good. Also if you continue like that, your brothers will come investigate."

He stopped flailing and looked torn: continue to fight or be seen in such a position? There's also the third option, your death

While he was thinking you continued to pat his wings and heard a small purr

winner winner chicken dinnerrrr what have we here!?

"Aw see I knew you'd like it! Alright off to bed!" You say carrying him to his room

"...Maybe I am a little tired...and this might not be the worst thing in the world." He said, absolutely defeated

Since then, it doesn't happen often, but he will let you carry him to bed if he's absolutely drained and no one else is around to see

[Taming the beast: Achieved]

Mammon:

"Mammon we need to go now or we will be late for dinner!" You yelled at him as he continued to bargain with the shopkeeper. He yelled back saying it would only be another minute...taking another 5 minutes. Enough is enough. You grab him and carry him out, bridal style.

One second he's talking to the shopkeeper, the next he's being lifted into the air

"AH! HEY!"

Shifts into demon form and notices it's you and not some stranger

Shifts back into his human form

🍅.jpg

"W-what is this!? P-put me down!" He said as he wrapped his arms tighter around your neck

"Mm, maybe if you kiss me on the cheek?"

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? THE GREAT MAMMON OBEYS NO ONE!"

He continued to complain but did absolutely nothing to try to get out of your arms

He let out an annoyed huff when you guys got home...you were sure it was because he didn't want to come down

Now, he occasionally takes long at places so you could carry him...it's obvious when he keeps looking back to check if you'll get him

You caught on of course, but hey, he's your little tsundere demon

Levi:

"I'm not going to RAD today!" He yelled from his room. The hell he is, you kicked his door down and he screamed. You roughly pulled him from his tub and tossed him over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes, heading towards his closet.

"WWWWHAAAAAATISGOINGONNNN!?"

[Levi demon thrasher mode activated]

He was so confused and turned on by the sudden morning events

"Hey, hey! LEVI, stop it!"

He complied immediately and stopped struggling, you pat him gently while he still tried to understand what made you come in there so rough today

"That's a good demon!"

His tail swished around excitedly at your praise...this morning was something he never expected in his wildest dreams

Subby boy is subby™️

"Oh you like this a lot don't you? I guess I'll come get you more often."

"W-will this be an everyday thing!?" say yes say yes say yes say-

After that day, he still hesitated to ask for piggyback rides or anything else but you know the look and happily scoop him up every time

Please toss him around more, he loves it

Especially when you're rough

Satan:

Lucifer and Satan fighting was nothing new, but you just didn't have the energy to hear them today. So what better way than to just take one of them from the other? "Come here kitty!" You say, wrapping your arms around Satan and pulling him up against your body, carrying him to the manor library.

He shifted into demon form in an instant

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? LET ME DOWN!"

He wasn't sure how your grip was so strong as he continued to try to pull away from you

And he also didn't understand why it felt so good to be carried by you

You patted him and told him to let the anger go and just enjoy the rest of the night with you

He stopped struggling but felt conflicted by what he was feeling especially since Lucifer looked so pleased when you two left

But this does feel good...and you chose him to hang out with

"Tch."

"Fine I'll put you down and-"

"No. You brought this upon yourself. Now continue to the library." He held on tighter

You smirked and he opened his mouth to argue but huffed instead

He was...actually impressed by your boldness and wouldn't mind being manhandled like that again

Just not when he's fighting with Lucifer please

Asmo:

Everyday his fans crowded him and 80% of the time, it was okay with you. Today though you just really wanted to go home quickly with him but his fans intercepted. Yeah no, you just weren't having it today. "Sorry guys we have to go home now." You say and tug on Asmo's hand. "Mm I don't know, it shouldn't take too long-" he starts. You raise an eyebrow at Asmo and end up tossing the Avatar of Lust over your shoulder, jogging away from the gawking crowd.

What just happened?

He squeals excitedly

"Oh I like this!♡"

He was surprised by your sudden action as you've never carried him before

Especially something so...possessive? In front of other RAD students!?

He was gushing

"Should I expect this more often!?"

"Yeah, probably. I should've done this a while ago." You admitted

Devildom Pictures Presents: Asmo, the Avatar of Blushing

He made himself comfortable and chatted with you while on the way home

The two of you ignored the looks of others but photos were definitely taken and posted to gossip sites

After that day he loved asking for piggyback rides and being carried around, he let you know how much he loved it every time

Beel:

Lucifer entrusted you to guard the fridge from Beel and so you did. "Sorry, Beel!" You tell the gluttonous beast. "Eh? I'm hungry now...I just want a little food..." He tried to walk around you to reach the fridge and that's when you scoop him up flawlessly, bridal style. You carried him away from the kitchen.

???

He did not foresee this ever happening

He could only blankly stare at you as you carried him further and further away from the kitchen

He actually really liked it but was worried about his weight

"You should put me down. You might get hurt."

"Did you not see how easily I scooped you up? This is nothing."

Beel smiled and went with it, completely forgetting about the fridge

"Can we do this more often?"

"Was already planning on it big guy!"

His heart flipped! After all, no one, even in the celestial realm, ever held him like this

And the fact that it was you, made it a million times better

The two of you settled on the couch while he stayed in your lap and cuddled with you until dinner time

(1) New Text from Lucifer : You did well. I'm counting on you for next time.

Belphie:

"You can't make me move!" Belphie muttered half asleep. He had a habit of falling asleep in weird places around the house and for some reason he chose the front of your bedroom door. You nudged him with your foot and he went back to snoozing on his cow print pillow. Okay, bet. You leaned over him and swiftly picked him up, wrapping his legs around your waist and holding him securely. You finally entered your room.

???

"You're not Beel!?" He said bewildered (and slightly embarrassed) by the sudden realization

"No I'm not and you were blocking my door."

"This feels nice from you. I could get use to this." He murmured happily at the sudden closeness

You roughly toss him onto your bed and he complained about demon abuse and rights

"Ugh! More gently next time!?"

He was still impressed by your use of force, you always surprised him which is why you're his favorite human

Was happy you decided to take a quick nap with him but upset you kicked him out after

"Hmph. You haven't seen the last of me!"

And it was true, he made it more of a habit to sleep in front of your door so you'd carry him inside, sometimes he got you to cuddle with him

He freely asks for piggyback rides if he's particularly drained

⬦You might also like: Flirting With Others︱You ARE The Father

#om! mc enzo content #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me shitpost #obey me humor #obey me reader #shitpostcifer #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹

1K notes · View notes

the-biggest-simp-in-the-land · 1 year

Note

hi new one's! You open for request am I right? If you don't mind I want some Obey me smut for brothers if can't all of them just Lucifer and Satan :>

how will they react when their beloved MC is angry at them for some reason and refuses to have sex for a whole month ( wow cruel) when the MC is not angry anymore and the brothers become Brutal during their Bed activity -////- specific kink ? I'm ok with Breeding and Spanking

I hope this isn't too much to ask, Feel free to ignore if it makes you uncomfortable :> sorry for my horny feeling

Sorry for the delay.

Please don't feel ashamed for doing such a beautiful request and ooh God this is gonna be a long ride, I think, a fun one, I hope.

You didn't specify the gender so I'm going with an non-binary approach.

Minors GET OUT

Please warn me if you see anything that triggers you.

Lucifer

He forgot about your monthly dinner date, cause he was extremely stressed about shit his brothers had done throughout the day and he had a big and extraordinarily boring meeting with diavolo, that he also forgot to mention to you. And honestly, you would forgive him if it wasn't the third month without those dinner dates.

He would try to talk to you, try to reason, even ask for forgiveness, something extraordinarily rare because of his pride, look how much despair you create, just because you are denying him, but when the month is over, ooooooh you better run.

I think it would go like this:

The desperation of getting out of this overwhelming pleasure, as you try to wiggle as little as possible, because the ropes would dig even more into your skin. Tied up on Lucifer's ceiling, for who knows how long, with a bullet vibrator in you, he left the room right after he was done tying you up, and giving you a good old spanking, It felt like you were there for days. Then finally the door opens again, maybe he will forgive you, maybe he will use you to make up for the lost time, it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters now is that he is here.

And boy oh boy, he is gonna make you pay, consensualy of course, you revoked his funny business privileges, he is gonna revoke your walking privileges for at least a week.

Mammon

He gambled a present you gave him in horse racing. When you found out he almost lost it, for the second time, oh well Mammon, say bye bye to mc, you not only don't slam his slammer, but you also don't talk to him, and when he noticed he started to annoy the fuck out of you.

How this goes down depends on you, if you talk to him again, before the month is over, he will annoy you less, still learn his lesson and be a little happier and will go easier on you, but if not… Skedaddle skadoodle your legs are a now noodle.

I believe that Mammon, when domming, is a soft dom, but that doesn't mean that he can't be a little rough sometimes.

"Come on, pretty thing, can't you deal with what you've done?" He looks at you while you suck on his pretty cock, as he gives a light smack on your ass. "There we go love such a good human, the best living being in the three realms." He says as he makes you go deeper.

Levi

He got a little jealous when one of the brothers was out with you doing things, let's say idiotic things, especially since you were out with mammon, probably helping him out of a pyramid scheme.

It doesn't really matter, Levi is lonely, and got so fucking jealous, he almost broke his favorite ultra rare Ruri-chan action figure. After the fit he had inside his room, he went after you and mammon,

Annoy the fuck out of you 2.0

"You're such a little brat, trying to tease this whole month, ignoring me, and in the end YOU end up crying hard and I didn't even started… that's adorable." He coos in a condescending voice.

He would whine, a lot, like really, he will go OUTSIDE just to annoy the fuck out of you and try to convince you. Yes he does relieves himself by masturbating, cause if he didn't you would be trying to kill him.

(I belive it is one of the times where admiral Leviathan comes out)

Satan

I think he would actually be really comprehensive and calm about the whole thing, he understands he fucked up, he may be the avatar of wrath and because of that he would be the best with his feelings and the others… BUT you should have been warned what would happen after the conflict had been solved. After you calm down and his privileges are back, you won't walk soon darling. He will go all out, and I mean it.

"Come on kitty, it's been a month, now it's time for us to catch up for the lost time."

You were in his favorite lingerie, a black lacy one with an opening right in the ass for easy access, a set that he chose during the month you decided to deny him, a really pretty tail plug, that matches perfectly your hair color, along with the cat ears and the adorable little collar in your favorite color. At that moment you knew it was gonna be a long night.

Asmo

Basically he would pass through the 5 stages of grief.

Now you wanna know how did he fuck up?

It was late at night and he went in too your room and you made go out, it would be fine if it wasn't for being the day before an important thing you had (think about, idk, a test?), you told him you could go tomorrow, but he told you it was something he could not delay, it was a sale on his favorite beauty products… yeah.

During the month he will try to make you give in to him, let him pleasure you and him at the same time, he will also tease the fuck out of you and try to invade your room to relive some of this pent up energy, but thanks to Lucifer's magic, he can't.

After the month is over be prepared to be edged,fucked dumb and over stimulated, it will take a while for him to get all this frustration out, you make a note to try this again cause even so the month was hard for both of you the wait was worth it, he learned his lesson and you enjoyed yourself way too much.

Beel

Tbh I don't se him fucking up something really big, unless it involves food… like he ate a present that you made for someone else. I think the conflict happened when you made some angel cakes for Luke, cause you both were exchanging typical foods from the sender's realm. You left the kitchen with your almost ready sweets, but it was missing a small detail, the edible sparkly blue confetti, you left it in your room and went to get it, but you forgot one small detail, you left the angel cakes unguarded, with just a small note for luke. Beel saw them and ate them all, forgetting about what you told him and ignoring the letter that had Luke written in capital letters.

Understandable have a good day.

That was him before he had met you, he would be fine, but after the first time you had done the deed, what was small had grown into a monster.

So you can expect some over stimulation, lots of oral and even some breeding (if he is feeling like it)

Belphie

You were horny, he denied you, you denied him for a month, well that's not the complete story, even though there is some, consensual, sonophilia here and there and shit, almost everyday either of you wakes up and have some sex. Well one day he decided to deny you, just for fun, and tease you all day long, talking dirty with his sleepy voice in the middle of the class. When you arrived at home he just eddge you and did not let you come once, all the while he gave you that lazy smirk.

Well that's when you decided to tease him for way longer and you managed to keep that up for a month, he didn't seemed bothered by it, until he just burst into your room pinning you to the bed.

"You actually think you can go around like that, teasing me for this long and nothing would happen to you?" He growls at you.

If you want more or an actual fic,please tell me <3

#obey me smut #lucifer smut #mammon smut #levi smut #satan smut #asmo smut #beel smut #belphie smut #Dom obey me boys

620 notes · View notes

welcomeabyss · 1 year

Text

When The Stars Didn’t Align, Part 3

This chapter goes a little bit to the past. We get to suffer explore the ways Mc became the third wheel, after the new girl had settled in. Asmo, Beel and Belphe are going to be in the next part!

@gatorcatally @gayassfuckinghomo

Themes: Angst, Replaced Mc! Au

“So, is there anyone you like?” The pretty woman had asked Mc out of nowhere as they were cooking together. Mc was surprised by that and stopped to look at her for a moment: She was sparkling, with her perfect flowy hair and bright eyes. Mc couldn’t believe that she had just woken up from a nap.

“N-no not really”, Mc lied. The new girl had lived in the house of Lamentation for a couple of weeks now and they had gotten well together with Mc. They didn’t want to open up to her about more personal stuff to her yet though.

“Oh c’mon Mc! There’s got to be someone”, she teased. Maybe it was the way she giggled after her question, or the way they playfully hit Mc’s arm, but suddenly Mc felt safe in her presence. Mc started to think about how nonjudgmental the new girl has always been, and how kind and trustworthy she seemed. Maybe, I can tell her?, Mc suddenly thought to themselves. Then they opened their mouth to speak:

Lucifer

“Lucifer”, Mc blushed a little. They had gotten a crush on him immediately after they had laid eyes upon him. He was not only powerful, but also a caring personality. Lucifer wasn’t afraid to show what he was after. It was magnetizing, really.

The new girl was a little surprised by Mc’s answer, but soon giggled nervously: ”Really? He’s a little scary don’t you think?”. Mc wanted to go on a rant about how he wasn’t a one dimensional scary demon. That he was actually very sweet and protective, and quite honestly; his scariness was also something Mc found attractive at times.

Mc blushed a little, but then responded: ”Yeah, he can be a bit scary sometimes, but only when it’s necessary. He’s actually very sweet!”. The new girl giggled wholesomely again: “Well, it sounds you really do like him a lot!”. Before Mc could ask, if she had a crush on anyone, Beel came in to interrupting, asking hastily about his missing pudding.

After a couple of days Mc was enjoying their evening by listening to music and cleaning the house with the newcomer. Mc and she had decided to try to make Lucifer’s day better by cleaning his private study. So they knocked on Lucifer’s door. He welcomed them in. He appreciated their willingness to help him, so he let them go at it. As Mc and her were dusting the shelves, Lucifer spoke:

“Mc, could you go and take these boxes to the music room? They are very delicate and need to be handled with care, I trust you are able to do this?” Mc was delighted: Lucifer entrusted me with his important property? Mc nodded quickly, smiled and took the boxes to themselves, starting to carefully carry them upstairs.

Mc wanted to make Lucifer even more happy, so they decided to tidy up the music room a little before heading downstairs. It took a while before Mc was properly done with the place, but soon they went back to where Lucifer and her were at.

Mc walked gleefully towards Lucifer’s room again, noticing that the door was left slightly open. Mc was about to walk in, until their heart stopped. Their widened eye was now peeking through the gap. What is going on?

The new girl was looking up in a surprised manner, her pretty lips slightly parted and her cheeks were faintly red. She was holding her hands tightly together, as the tall figure was confidently leaning down on her, pinning her against the wall. Did he order me to go to the music room, just to get me out of their way?, Mc gulped. Lucifer had the same look on his face, that Mc well recognized, because that was the reason, why they adored him in the first place: He never hesitated to show what he was after.

Mammon

Before Mc could answer her question, they were interrupted by Asmo and Satan arguing about something. The conversation from before was left in the forgotten, which Mc was secretly happy about. Otherwise they would have definitely splurged out, how they had this massive crush on Mammon

Mammon was endearing to them, so fun to be around, but also protective. Mc found it kinda sweet, how he always got jealous easily, but also struggled to admit that he enjoyed the human’s company.

Things continued on as usual, until one day there was a big game night at the house of Lamentation. They were asking questions and daring each other to do dumb things. Mc was enjoying their time, occasionally glancing if Mammon was looking at them.

“Okay, sweetheart, I have a question for you”, Asmo was speaking to the new girl in a teasing manner. She flinched in surprise, but then asked, what Asmo wanted to ask him. “Would you kiss Mammon?”, Asmodeus continued. Mc was a little shocked, and even more so, when they looked up at her: she was completely flustered, almost like Asmo had confirmed something. Revealed her secret. She kept looking down, as an embarrassed smile creeped on her face. Don’t you dare, Mc’s heart demanded. Don’t you dare

“Y-yes. I think he’s kinda adorable . . . I wouldn’t mind kissing him”, she blushed heavily. As the brothers let out surprised noises, Mc felt their heart sank: But there is no way that Mammon would like her back right? Not after all this time.

But as Mc now turned to look at Mammon, their heart ached even more: the way he was now staring at her, his face softening. The way Mc would have done anything to know what he was thinking, when his mouth slightly started to turn into an adoring smile, which he quickly tried to hide.

Levi

”I like Levi”, Mc quietly muttered out. They felt closest with him. They had a lot similar interests, and Mc reallt enjoyed hanging around Levi. Mc loved his shyness, humour, but also his kindness.

”Levi? Well I guess I’m not that surprised, you guys do spend a lot of time together”, she thought to herself out loud in wonder. ”So, do you have a crush on anyone?”, Mc then asked. She was about to answer to them, until they both noticed smoke coming out of the oven and the previous subject was forgotten.

Mc, Levi and the newcomer were playing games in Levi’s room one night. They were laughing along, as they competed with each other. After the new girl had won a round against Levi, he was flabbergasted.

“How- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! I have been playing this game for years!?”, Levi questioned her. She was giggling and then instinctively started to ruffle Levi’s hair as an apology: “Sorry Levi! I can let you win the next round!”

Mc knew she didn’t try to do that in purpose. To make them jealous. Mc was sure that she had no romantic intentions behind her actions. So why did Levi’s blush and his softening eyes make them so jealous? Why did his panicked reaction and mumbling words feel so different this time?

Satan

”Satan”, Mc tried to hide their smile by changing their expression, but the attempt was useless. How could Mc not like Satan’s curiosity and charm? Mc loved to trade books with him and they both seemed to like each other recommandations.

”He seems like your perfect other half”, she finally answered them in a kind manner, after Mc fought so hard not to show their flustration. Mc got even more flustered at her words, trying to not look too embarrassed as they were making the food.

Later that evening Mc was going to the library. They were hoping to run into Satan, because they had found a perfect book from the human world to give him. Mc was holding the book close to them as they approached the room. A warm light escaped from the slightly parted doors, as the furnice had a fire burning in it.

Mc heard a conversation coming from the library. They heard Satan’s laugh echoing: “Really? A book like that really exists in the human world?” Who could make Satan laugh like that? So wholeheartedly?

“Why would I lie about that?”, her soft voice was like dagger to Mc, for reasons they could not explain. Then they heard her continuing: “Here, I can lend it to you”. Mc couldn’t help, but peek through the doors. It was exactly how they expected: the flame really did make the room more beautiful, with this orange glow that spread to everything it touched. Not even Satan or her could escape it, as they were both sitting on the couch facing the other way from Mc. It was almost like the time had stopped to capture this moment, as their hands had accidentally touched each other, but both hesitant to move away. Mc noticed scarily familiar look on her face: she was falling for him.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me mc #obey me replaced mc au #obey me angst

431 notes · View notes

catherinnn · 2 years

Text

Defending you

just a cute fluffy friends to lovers with Eddie.

where Eddie fights Jason when he lies about you two and you have to clean him up after.

warnings: cursing, physical fights, sexual tension maybe?? kissing and some mentions of blood.

You were a cheerleader in Hawking’s High, you had a lot of friends, which sometimes ended up in a problem you were obviously friends with the other cheerleaders which meant that you ended up being friends with the basketball team too. But before you became a cheerleader you had other friends, and inside that friend group was Eddie Munson, you had met in kindergarten and became friends.

Your friendship now wasn’t the same as it was before though, you didn’t hang out like you use to. With Eddie’s Hellfire Club, doing campaigns and with your practises of the cheerleading squad and school, you didn’t see each other often, only if you had the same class.

This brought you problems because your two friend groups were completely different and ―if I may add― they hated each other, especially Jason and Eddie.

An example of this happened today, at lunch break…

Eddie was sitting at his usual table with the rest of the hellfire club when the basketball team entered the room.

“Hey, Munson!” Jason yelled at him, Eddie looked around him playfully and pointed at himself acting as he didn’t believe Jason was referring to him, “yes, I’m talking to you freak!”

“To what do I owe the pleasure of talking to you? If I may ask” he asked sarcastically, lunch just got fun, he thought to himself.

“I heard you were offering that shit you sell to some of the boys in my team and the cheerleaders, and I want you to stop even talking to them, just in case you want them to join your satanic club” Jason responded to him. At this point everyone inside the dining room was listening carefully to the scene.

“Sorry, we don’t allow people who enjoy tossing balls into laundry baskets in the club” Eddie said while climbing on top of the table, walked to the other end of it and jumped down to be in front of Jason.

“As if we want to play your demoniac game” Jason said proudly.

“Your mommy doesn’t let you play? Don’t be ashamed, just tell me” Eddie responded giving him a pitiful look.

“Don’t act smart, freak, as if this wasn’t your third time trying to pass the same fucking class” Jason was getting angry and it showed, this only made Eddie smirk harder.

“I didn’t try to sell your friends anything, they came to me asking for the prices and I just told them” Eddie changed the subject responding to the first question.

“My friends wouldn’t consume that shit you take, don’t try to blame it on them” he seemed offended by his response, he walked closer to Eddie, he really was getting angry.

“Sure, whatever lets you sleep at night, blondie” Eddie mocked him.

“The only I’d believe that she was really asking you would be Y/n, but that’s because you’ve already possessed her with your satanic tactics, didn’t you freak?”

“You have an amazing imagination Jason, you’d be great at D&D. You’d have to play by yourself though because I’d rather kill myself than to have anything to do with you. Are we done here?”

“I’m not imagining anything, I think you’ve possessed Y/n and now use her as you wish, don’t you? Because that’s the only explanation of why she even looks at you, isn’t it?”

Jason was just messing with him at this point, he didn’t believe that but it seemed to have had an effect on Eddie, who had gotten red and clenched his fists by the mentioning of Y/n in their conversation.

“Get lost Jason” Eddie was visibly angry at this point, everyone watching carefully so they didn’t miss anything.

“Oh, did that hurt you freak? Does it hurt to see Y/n sitting with us every day?”

“Shut the fuck up”

“What if I told you I’ve already fucked her?”

“That’s it—“ Eddie punched Jason on the face.

Everyone in the room got up and started to yell, some encouraging Eddie, some encouraging Jason, and others just watching what happened next.

Some of the boys in the basketball team went straight to Eddie but Jason stopped them, he wanted to be the one to punch back.

And so he did.

Some of the boys in the hellfire club started to try and fight the basketball team while Eddie and Jason kept on fighting.

The cheerleaders had just finished practise and they went running to the cafeteria to get some food as they were all starving. But as they walked there, they heard the yelling that was coming from there.

When they walked in, they saw that there was a circle of people in the middle of the room, all watching something and yelling at it.

When you approach there to see what happened, everyone in the circle let you in with no problem, watching you reaction as if you were a show.

“What the fuck is happening here?! Hey! Stop it!” you yelled at Eddie and Jason.

Eddie gave you a surprised look as he stopped the punches to Jason. He looked at you as if he had just got caught –in a way, he did.

“Oh look, your little crush is finally here!” Jason laughed at Eddie, “Why don’t you ask her about the fun we had together the other night?”

You frowned at Jason’s comment.

“I told you to shut the fuck up!” Eddie looked at Jason again and they began to fight all over again.

Apparently, someone had gone to one of the teachers and told her what was happening in the cafeteria, because just as they started to fight again, she stepped in and stopped them.

Now, you and Chrissy were waiting outside the director’s office where Jason and Eddie were.

After half an hour, they finally got out.

“Hi” Eddie greeted you with a smile as if nothing happened while Chrissy talked to Jason a few feet away from them.

“Yeah, hi” you said angrily “can you please- just tell me what the hell happened”

“Munson! Carver!” the director came out of his office with two boxes in his hands “Here’s two first-aid kits, go clean yourselves! And think about what I told you!”

You followed Eddie to the bathroom in the first floor while Jason and Chrissy went to the bathroom on another floor, the two boys gave bad looks at each other as they walked away.

Once in the bathroom, Eddie sat on the counter and you opened the kit to clean his wounds, you seemed pissed off.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked carefully.

“I still don’t know what happened” you stood in between his legs and moved his hair out of his face to start cleaning him up.

“He came up to me while I was eating and started blaming me for selling weed to his friends” he started but stopped when the cotton with something that burns came in touch with his forehead and he cringed.

“Don’t move” you told him.

“Sorry, well, I don’t know, he started insulting me, calling me dumb and a freak, and I insulted back when he started to talk about you”

He stopped again and you looked at him.

“What did he say?” you asked and changed to another cotton.

“He said something about how I must have possessed you because that’s the only way you’d even talk to me”

You rolled your eyes and frowned “He’s so stupid”

Eddie kept quiet for a few seconds and then he continued.

“He also said something about you two”

You stopped.

“What?”

“Something about how you two had fucked before” he talked with no emotion in his face or in his voice.

“What?!” you asked again “You- that’s not true”

“Isn’t it?” he sounded as if he didn’t believe you.

“Of course not! He keeps flirting with me and tries to make a move but I always cut him off” you cringed, “I’d never be with someone like him, plus, Chrissy has such a crush on him, they’ve hooked up before but he doesn’t want anything serious, Lily says It’s because he’s trying to fuck a few more cheerleaders before settling down, I’m starting to believe her really”

Eddie laughed and you kept cleaning his face.

“You still didn’t tell me why you were fighting though” you reminded him.

“Well- I- it just pissed me off listening to him talk about you –about us like that” he admitted.

“Oh, have you possessed me? Sir monster?” you joked.

“Maybe I did” he said as he pulled you closer by your waist. You stopped cleaning him as you looked at him expectantly.

“Why do you stop?” he whispered, you were so close to each other that you heard him just fine, “I’m injured, I need assistance”

“And who’s fault is that?” you asked as you began to rub the cotton on his cheek where he had some blood.

“Yeah I know, I know” he kept whispering, you didn’t know how to feel about that, it made it all so intimate. It wasn’t that you didn’t like, that was the problem, you liked it a little too much. “But I think it was kind of worth it if now I have a pretty nurse taking care of me”

You laughed, you didn’t know how to respond to his flirty comments, and those happened pretty often.

You started to clean a wound on his bottom lip and he hissed.

“Oh sorry, did that hurt?” you played dumb as you blow some air on his lip, only to stop the burning, right?

Your lips were so close to each other.

Eddie looked at your lips as you looked at his.

“Better?” you asked, not moving away, not even thinking of moving away.

“Try again” he whispered. And you did, even closer this time, your lips were slightly touching. And he kissed you.

Not even caring about the wound on his lip, he kissed you not even caring about anything else than you.

You put your hands on his neck and on his hair, oh my god his hair.

You kept kissing for a while until you broke apart.

“Ouch” he just said, you laughed, still in the same position, your hands in his hair and him holding you by your waist.

“Oh shit, It’s bleeding again” you started to clean his lip again and he smirked.

After you cleaned all the wounds on his face you realised that you still had to go to class, and he did too. He tried to make you skip it but you had already missed an hour of it and you really cared about that subject.

“Alright fine, you can go” he said giving up, “but I’ll come and find you so I can keep possessing you or some of that shit after school”

“Oh no, the big bad monster won’t leave me alone!”

You started to grab your things so you could go and he spoke up again.

“Hey um- thank you for, you know, everything”

You shook your head slowly with a little smile.

“No really, you’re amazing, you know that. Right?”

“Thank you for defending me, I guess”

“Any time gorgeous” he walked away after kissing your cheek.

How the fuck where you going to concentrate now?

#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff

3K notes · View notes

gimmethatagustd · 2 years

Note

If you are still taking requests I found this and I thought it was funny so I wanted to see if you could please write something with demon Hoseok and this idea thank you😊

satan: I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF H-

me: wow you're tall

satan: thanks?

me : how tall are you?

Satan : i dunno like 6'6 6'11 with the horns?

me [ twirling hair] omg with horns! You are so funny

NOT TODAY, SATAN | JHS

If you had known the demon tasked with reaping your soul would be a total #daddy you would have gone to Hell sooner!

» pairing: demon!hoseok x reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ | supernatural | humor | a lil bit of smut

» wc/date: 3.7k | october 2022

» notes: THIS REQUEST MADE ME CACKLE. i decided to post it for spooky szn~ so i hope that's ok 🥺 (i'm also dying cuz there's like lowkey unintentional parallels to this and my hobi idol au that's really killing me)

» masterlist

» what was jai listening to? all the good girls go to hell - billie eilish

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Purgatory looked like the DMV.

You should have expected it, honestly. Wasn’t it represented as some type of waiting room in Beetlejuice? Or maybe you were misremembering. Ever since you’d stepped through the front doors, your mind felt foggy. When you looked back through the windows, no parking lot met your gaze. Instead, a soft gray haze was pressed against the glass, causing a bit of condensation to gather.

How had you gotten here?

The answer to that seemed a bit foggy, too.

“Are you going to take a fucking number or just stand there like an idiot?”

The bristled voice shocked you into action. Stepping forward, you ripped a number tag from the stand directly in front of the door and moved to the side for the voice behind you. A few droplets of water splattered against your ankles when the person reached for their tag.

You suppressed a gasp.

She was completely soaked, so wet that she left a trail of water wherever she walked, like some kind of snail or slug. It was difficult to tell what her original complexion was because her skin was now a deep turquoise. Bits of twigs and what looked like seaweed twisted into her hair.

You followed the stranger’s water trail through the folding chairs lining the large waiting room. The speckled brown carpet squished beneath your sneakers. A bit of water was leaking inside to wet your socks.

“Number 746!”

A robotic voice beeped out the number over the speakers just as you sank into an empty folding chair. A man with large, dirty bandages wrapped around his head and over one eye stood from his seat beside you. He clutched a folder of papers to his chest and limped to the counter at the front of the room.

Three people in matching black professional uniforms sat behind the counter. You thought they resembled bank tellers from how they were spread out with glass barriers separating each person’s portion of the counter. The first two employees sat too far away to make out important details of their faces, but the third was only a few feet away from you.

He was easily the most beautiful person you’d ever seen in your life. The sharp cut of his jawline and the thin length of his nose slicing through high cheekbones and deep-set eyes made it difficult for you to pull your gaze away from him. Luckily, he was none the wiser of your ogling, for his attention was spent on assisting the person standing in front of the counter. You were free to marvel at his angular features, eventually shifting your eyes from the bow of his lips to examine some of his gentler features. His hair was dark like his outfit and fell soft against his forehead. Poking out of the layered waves were two thick… horns.

You pressed your thumbs into your eyes, but when you moved them away the horns remained.

They twisted at the tips, spiraling in opposite directions. A swirling pattern was etched into each of them. It reminded you of fingerprints.

“Number 749!”

You glanced down at the crumbled tag in your hand. 749.

With a sigh, you trudged up to the counter and stood in front of the beautiful man with twisted horns poking out of dark, luscious hair.

“I need an official form of identification and your death certificate.”

You stared at him blankly.

“An official form of identification and your death certificate,” he repeated with more force.

“I… don’t have a death certificate.”

Were you dead? How had you died? How could you have possibly received a death certificate if you were dead? You assumed your mother would have it; that was how things went, right?

The name badge clipped to his shirt read Hoseok, Assistant Manager. Assistant Manager of what? Purgatory?? What in the fuck was going on.

Hoseok turned to the computer sitting off to the side of his desk.

“What is your full name and date of birth?”

You gave him the information he was looking for and leaned forward to watch him tap away at the keyboard. What appeared to be a profile of you flashed across the screen. There was a photo of you, the one from your driver’s license. A few stats about you like your height and where you were born. Toward the bottom of the screen in large red block letters read TIME OF DEATH. You were pretty sure the date was recent, but you didn’t know what day it was currently. Before you could read further, Hoseok closed out the page.

“I need you to come with me,” Hoseok said abruptly. He gestured for you to step around the counter.

You took a look over your shoulder. No one else needed to go behind the counter, as far as you could tell. Although, you hadn’t paid much attention to the other people waiting for… whatever it was everyone was doing here. You still didn’t know.

With a nervous inhale that tickled your throat, you followed the… man? Whatever he was, through a door marked for employees only.

(So they were called employees. Hence the Assistant Manager badge, and all. What the fuck kind of job was this?)

Scurrying behind him to catch up with his long gait, you noticed that this person was tall. Like, impossibly tall. Come to think of it, it wasn’t just his height that was staggering. Everything about his presence seemed larger than life, like the very walls of the hallway needed to shift and expand to accommodate the power radiating off of him as he walked. You kept your eyes trained on his lean shoulders, watching the way his shoulder blades and back muscles made his shirt ripple when he breathed or turned around the corner.

“Ahem.” You cleared your throat.

Silence.

“Ahem.”

You did a little skip to speed up your walking and finally fell in line with the man. You flashed him what you’d consider an award-winning grin.

“Hoseok, right? You’re really fucking tall.”

He glanced down at you out of the corner of his eye.

So, a man of few words. Unless he was snapping at you about IDs and death certificates. Apparently.

“Where are we going?”

Hoseok immediately halted, catching you by surprise and nearly causing you to trip.

“Here.” With an outstretched arm, Hoseok opened the door to a simple office. He held it for you as you crossed the threshold.

“Please, take a seat.”

You eased into one of the chairs in front of the desk, which Hoseok sat behind once he snapped the door shut. The fabric scratched into the back of your legs.

Up close, Hoseok was even more breathtaking. You found that the horns weren’t as much of a creepy turnoff as you may have initially thought. Somehow, paired with the shimmering red tint to his eyes and the slits he had instead of proper circular pupils, you were rather turned on by this… otherworldly look he had going for him. It was spooky, in an “emo kid who works at Hot Topic and thinks Happy Tree Friends is edgy” kind of way. So… not spooky at all. Just endearing to the part of your brain where you’d locked up all your teen angst.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

You watched a transparent film slide sideways across Hoseok’s eyes and you realized he blinked with a third eyelid.

Weird, but kind of hot. Fuck conventional beauty standards! You could dig it.

“Because a handsome stranger brought me here?” You took a shot in the dark, though Hoseok didn’t appear to have followed you. He stared at you with his third eyelid and his slitted pupils and his sharpened teeth.

Wow, he had really pointy teeth.

“You’re here because…” Hoseok drummed his fingers against the surface of his desk. His nails were black and chipped. “You were never reaped.”

“Reaped? Like, the Grim Reaper?”

A low hiss came from the back of Hoseok’s throat. The sound made your skin prickle.

“The Grim Reaper is not real.” His voice slithered out of his mouth at the same time his tongue did. It was red and forked. “You were supposed to be reaped by one of us when you died,” he gestured to himself, “a demon.”

Well, obviously he was a demon. Or else he had a great sense of fashion.

You leaned forward to rest your arms on Hoseok’s desk. If he thought his freaky tongue and animalistic eyes were going to scare you, he was terribly wrong. You’d been on Vampirefreaks.com back when it was still a social media platform.

“Listen, Hoseokie. Can I call you Hoseokie?” Silence. “I don’t know why I’m here and I don’t know how I got here, but I promise you, I am not dead.”

With a sigh, Hoseok flipped open the laptop on his desk. After a few moments of typing, he slid it toward you, adjusting the screen to make it easier for you to see.

There was your profile again. Hoseok quickly scrolled down to the section you hadn’t gotten to read earlier, the part about when you’d died.

“In my records, it states you are dead. As of,” he turned the screen toward himself for a moment, “As of 7 PM yesterday. Yet there is no record of how you died, where you died, nor which demon escorted you here. And no death certificate on file.”

Clearly, the missing death certificate situation had rubbed the guy the wrong way.

Maybe you should have felt more concerned that you had a snake-eyed self-proclaimed demon trying to convince you that you were dead and chilling out in Purgatory unchaperoned. But this was all fake, obviously. A dream. There was nothing to worry about.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Hoseokie.” You gave the man - demon - a shrug.

Hoseok’s eyebrows pulled toward each other, causing the skin on his forehead to crease.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh really?”

Hoseok pursed his lips and gave you a curt nod.

“It already states here that you’ll be going to Hell, so I may as well just reap you myself since no one else has. I need to go downstairs anyway. We’ve been getting a high volume of damned souls recently and working overtime can be sustainable for only so long…”

Whatever else Hoseok had to say about “demon burnout” during a time when debauchery was at its highest on Earth (“Aside from the 70s, wow, the 70s was a time.”), you didn’t hear the rest of it. There were more important things to worry about.

You were going to Hell.

“Wait, wait, wait, Hoseokie, wait a minute.” You curled your fingers around the edge of his laptop screen. “I’m going to Hell? For what?! I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.”

This was the part where Hoseok was supposed to say, “I know this, and I love you.”

Except he didn’t! The bastard just let his gorgeous mouth hang open and flicked his freaky forked tongue over those pearly fangs.

“I beg to differ.”

“How would you know?”

A small smirk flitted across Hoseok’s face and you felt your stomach twist into knots.

“Your memories, your experiences, your life - none of that belongs to you.”

You couldn’t tell which was more unnerving, the words he said or the dark tone he said them in. With a shiver, you chose to ignore whatever riddle he was speaking to you in and tried to change your strategy.

“Hoseokie, baby.” You ran your perfectly normal tongue along your lips and leaned even further into your companion’s personal space - as much as you could with a desk in between you. “Let’s not get carried away here.”

“Proper protocol was not followed, so we must rectify that,” Hoseok huffed. His shoulders sagged slightly, causing him to lean inward. Maybe your cute nickname was finally breaking him.

“Do we really?”

“Yes.”

“But, really? Hoseokie, babe, do I look like I belong in Hell?”

The demon blinked with his third eyelid a few times. You watched the slit of his pupils flicker as he genuinely took the time to look you over. It was a hypothetical question and now you were scared of the actual answer. He was a demon, after all. He’d know what a damned soul looked like, right?

“Well.” You watched Hoseok’s throat bob as he swallowed. “You did read a lot of serial killer fanfiction on AO3.”

You scoffed, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms against your chest.

“Are you kink-shaming me right now?”

Hoseok mirrored your scoff and busied himself with tidying up a stack of loose papers on his desk, but you saw the way his cheeks turned a healthy shade of pink.

Interesting.

“So, I’m going to Hell because I read One Direction serial killer AUs? Really? That’s why I’m going to Hell?”

“No!” Hoseok huffed again, louder this time. He ran his fingers through his hair and gave you a pleading look. “I don’t know! I don’t decide who goes to Hell, I just take them there!”

“Then don’t take me.”

It seemed like the obvious solution, but Hoseok looked at you like you’d threatened to kill him.

“I have to take you.”

“Oh yeah? Or else what?” You were back to leaning against his desk, your head in your hands and your elbows on the surface. “Satan damns you to some horrible eternal punishment?”

Hoseok turned his head and mumbled to the side, “Something like that.”

You wanted to ask him what it mattered if he was already a demon working for Satan, but you figured that would push him a bit too far. Instead, you were just going to beg. Considering the circumstances, you allowed yourself to do it without hurting your self-respect. Dire times, dire measures.

“Hoseokie, please,” you whined with your bottom lip jutted out. You reached out to hook your finger around one of his, pulling his hand away from where it rested against his chin. “Please, don’t take me to Hell. Let me stay here, with you.”

“With me?” Hoseok’s eyes widened, slitted pupils dilating into ovals.

“Mhmm, wouldn’t that be nice?” you purred, lightly tracing the lines of his palm with your index finger. “You’re so pretty and you look so stressed. What did you say earlier, about burnout? They aren’t taking care of you here, are they, Hoseokie?”

The demon bit his lip. His razor-sharp teeth pressed deep indents into what you knew were soft pink lips.

“I could help you out, Hoseokie, baby.”

Those dark eyes shimmered red and finally met your gaze, though his face was still flushed and his expression almost… timid.

“Help me out?” he murmured, almost as though he were talking himself through the conversation rather than asking you a question.

“Mhmm…”

You pressed your hands flat against the desk and hoisted yourself on top of it. The stack of papers Hoseok had just fixed went flying. He weakly reached out to stop a few of them from slipping off and floating to the carpeted floor.

“I don’t know.” Hoseok’s voice wavered, though you had to give him credit for his ability to maintain eye contact with you as you scooted across the desk.

“I think you do know, Hoseokie.”

Hoseok shook his head, third eyelids putting in work to blink away the shock when you eased yourself into his lap.

You’d been so caught up on how tall and menacing he’d looked in the hallway that you hadn’t stopped to consider the rest of his details, like how firm and comfortable his thighs were. You wiggled your ass to get settled, eliciting a low groan from the demon whose red eyes still rounded under your gaze.

“I’m going to get in trouble,” he pleaded with you when you dug your fingers into his hair and yanked his head backward. “I really don’t want to get in trouble.”

“And I really don’t want to go to Hell.” You dug your teeth into the soft skin of his throat and Hoseok let out a whimpered hiss. “Do you see our problem here?”

Of course, he could see the problem, but Hoseok was driven mute by your free hand palming his cock through his pants. His hold on your waist was bruisingly tight, but you kept a firm grip on his hair and a hot hand on his crotch. There was no way he was getting an upper hand in this, not that you expected him to. He was whimpering and pliant underneath you already.

Maybe you were absolutely insane, but if you had to suck some demon dick to get out of Hell, you were going to fucking do it. No matter how weird it probably looked.

“Y/N, wait.” Hoseok shuddered as you popped open the button of his pants and dragged down the zipper. “Listen to me, it’s not, it’s not a good idea.”

You let your fingertips dance along the waistband of his underwear. You weren’t sure why it was funny that he was wearing underwear; it just seemed like such a silly thing for a demon to need. Out here reaping souls and getting angry over death certificates, and going to the store to buy underwear after work.

It was just funny.

“Why not, Hoseokie? Don’t tell me they don’t let you have a little fun around here.” You batted your eyes at him and slide your hand beneath the fabric.

“It’s not- fuck.”

Hoseok tried to lean forward, to curl into himself, when you pressed your thumb against his leaking slit, but you kept his head pulled backward by his hair.

“Now, I’m gonna tell you what we’re gonna do, okay Hoseokie baby?”

The demon opened his mouth to speak and you shivered as his forked tongue wet his lips.

“Okay.”

“Good little demon, thank you,” you cooed praise that made his face flush an even deeper red. “I’m going to suck your dick and then you’re gonna delete whatever record you have of me and we’re going to forget I was ever even here, alright?”

When Hoseok didn’t speak, you squeezed the head of his cock.

“Fuck, yes, yes, yes, alright,” he sputtered.

“Good.”

The bright side to all of this was that his dick didn’t look any different from any other dick you’d ever seen, although it did seem a bit long. Which was fine. You had hands, didn’t you? You knew how to do a little two-hand twist when needed.

Just as you were about to slide off Hoseok’s lap and get on your knees, the door to his office flung open so hard it slammed against the wall.

“Oh fuck,” Hoseok gulped. He quickly stuffed his cock back inside his pants and zipped his pants up with trembling fingers.

“Oh fuck is right. What the fuck is going on here?”

You turned to look over your shoulder at the person who owned such a smooth, sinister voice that dripped enough malice for you to drown in it. You felt your entire body grow cold when you were met with slitted eyes that glowed even more brightly than Hoseok’s. The eyes roamed your face, your body, your position still straddling Hoseok’s lap. And you did the same, your human eyes taking in the man’s black fitted suit, the swell of his thighs beneath the fabric, the pout of his lips, the craters his dimples made in his cheeks as he sucked on his teeth in seething anger.

“I-I-I-I, Your Majesty,” Hoseok’s tongue fumbled over the words as he tried shoving you off of him.

Oh shit, was this God? He was way too hot to be God.

You stood when Hoseok did, the two of you blinking with your eyes wide and mouths hanging open like idiots in front of the sharply dressed man. Just past the doorway, you could see a few other men flanking the entrance, as though they were guarding it.

“Don’t fucking call me Your Majesty while your cock is twitching in your pants, Hoseok. Have some decency,” the dimpled man chastised with a snort.

Was God allowed to curse? You supposed he was, but multiple F-bombs and a casual “cock” thrown around seemed like a lot for a guy who was meant to be the holiest of the holy.

“And you.”

You poked your index finger against your chest when the man suddenly loomed over you.

“Me?”

“You’re supposed to be with me.”

You rose your eyebrows and shot Hoseok a look, but he had his eyes on the floor.

“Oh… you’re not God…”

You felt fire lick and burn up your chest and across your throat when the man leaned his head back to bellow a laugh so deep you swore the walls moved just as they had for Hoseok when he walked.

“Sweet of you to think so highly of the Devil, little human.”

Aw, fuck.

You were going to Hell.

“Now, listen, the One Direction serial killer AUs weren’t actually that bad. Like, if you’d just give it a chance, you’d understand,” you began.

“Reasoning with me is futile, pet.”

The sound of your teeth clamping shut echoed through the room. You probably should have been scared of how poisonous his tone sounded, but excitement thrummed in your stomach.

No one had ever called you pet before. It was kind of cute.

“Now, let’s go, shall we?”

If Satan had a problem with the way you whimpered when he wrapped a smooth, tan hand around your bicep to haul you out of the room, he didn’t make any indication. If anything, you thought he squeezed you a bit tighter.

“I didn’t think Satan would be so buff,” you murmured and you heard Hoseok choke.

You’d all but forgotten about the guy.

“Oh! Hoseokie!” You twisted your neck around to face him as Satan began leading you away. “Thanks for hanging out! I forgive you for being such a rule follower!”

You turned up to look at Satan’s face which was a bit hard to do considering he was so tall and all legs and pecs that looked better than any boobs you’d ever seen. It was very distracting.

“You’re not going to damn him to some horrible eternal punishment, are you?”

“I think working here is punishment enough, don’t you?”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

561 notes · View notes

drconstellation · 7 months

Text

When Crowley met Jesus, and the other demon at Golgotha

You know the scene. 33AD. Aziraphale is watching the crucifixion take place and certain fem-presenting demon sidles up to him.

Aziraphale greets them, and finds out they have changed their name.

"What is it now?" he asks them. " Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?"

I know most you have learnt by now that Asmodeus is the demon of lust, and this is obviously Aziraphale's idea of a flirty little joke (perhaps the first we see? because he's the one who's really as "mad as bag of frogs" after all and that's why Crowley's made an appearance, because he was probably just in the area, you know...), but I haven't seen or come across much meta about the first suggested name, which is a GO "lead balloon" moment.

Mephistopheles, Aziraphale? That's the name you thought of here? Of all places? jfc...you bad, bad angel! lmoa! This is a serious, sombre situation you are witnessing!

Mephistopheles is the name of the fictional demon sent to do a deal with the character Faust in a story that dates back to Germany in the early 1500s. Faust was a like a scientist in his day, well educated in things like alchemy and astrology and other mystical arts, maybe even having wizard powers (why not?) But he was hungry for more power so he did a deal with the devil for 24 years of assistance to achieve and gain anything he desired, and at the end of that time he would be claimed by Hell. Needless to say, despite starting off well it didn't have a happy ending. (I wont go into details as there are lots of variants, and its not that short, and they aren't all that relevant to the point of the post.)

It has been a hugely influential story ever since, appearing in many forms over the years; in opera, theater, movies, novels, adaptations such as Oscar Wilde's The Portrait of Dorian Grey, and Queen's famous song Bohemian Rhapsody. Terry Pratchett also did a parody of it in his 1990 book Eric, and readers have often noted the similarity to the Hell depicted there to the Hell in GO.

Its the origin of the idiom "to do a deal with the devil" and a Faustian bargain. The mortals that enter into the deal with a powerful supernatural entity are usually set up to fail, and we go along with it because we are so used to the trope, its one we've come to expect the bargainer to fail in some spectacular fashion. It's one that keeps being repeated again and again because it so interesting to explore - often the protagonist is looking for some form of happiness, sometimes revenge, and hopes the deal will deliver, but find out the hard way that they should be careful what they wish for because the delivery is a two-edged sword. They may find out that they don't actually want what they thought they wanted, or they get what they want in an very unexpected way.

Back to Golgotha, and our demon and angel. We learn the demon has merely modified their name to Crowley. And yes, they met Jesus.

C: "Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

A: "Why?"

C: "He's a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities are limited."

This is a reference to one of the the tests of faith Jesus was put through before his crucifixion, from the Book of Matthew.

I like this modern version I found:

For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.” Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.” The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs. Matthew 4:8-11 The Message

Or, you could say: Crowley showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world, and offered the bargain that he could rule them all if he would renounce God and worship Satan instead, but Jesus just turned to the demonic messenger and simply told him to "fuck off!"

And there we have it, folks. Mephistopheles, and Asmodeus. Touche, Aziraphale, you sly little shit stirrer.

#good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #hard times #golgotha #asmodeus #mephistopheles #faust #all the kingdoms of the world #going along with Hell as far as you can #faustian bargains #doing a deal with the devil #you bad bad angel aziraphale #this is no time to be flirting and cracking jokes with your demon

86 notes · View notes

a-local-idiots-shitpost · 7 months

Text

Mc ran away from a Date with them-Brothers

Lucifer:

he told Diavolo about the fact both of you had a Date planned and if you think Diavolo finding out were both of you were and crashing it was bad it can get worse

because for some reason Solomon got involved and now it just feels like two ex´s trying to ruin the love life of their former partners worst part neither of you two were together with any of them… besides maybe Lucifer and Diavolo because who knows what weird relationship those two have

it got even so bad that you decided the best course of action was to just jump ship and never look back

sounds more dramatic than it actually was you just went to the toilet and jumped out while Lucifer was stuck with Solomon and Diavolo, horrible evening for him but you needed a sacrifice so those two wouldn´t follow both of you

and you only told him about when you were a safe distance away

needless to say your in a bunch of trouble and might get cursed to get stuck to Solomon and Diavolo as payback

Mammon:

listen Mammon owes a bunch of people a lot of money and while usually killing them together is just a funny activity for both of you it isn´t so nice when you´re wearing your good clothes every once in a while

and Asmo got them for you so you know when they get dirty or ripped or really anything happened to them before he could get a pic you will be dead

so yeah when both of you went somewhere nice and got ambushed you ditched his ass

which is a surprise because he´s supposed to be really fast but yet you lost him

or he lost you who knows

but what you do know is you ditched him, the Date and a chance for murder

kinda ruined the day to be honest, killing some Demons and/or some witches would have been a nice end for the night

at least there will always be a next time

Leviathan:

yeah he dragged you to a convention

actually dragging you would be the wrong word kidnapping you would be more accurate, Levi´s reasoning was that he knew you wouldn´t come anyway but he can just knock you unconscious and drag you there

jokes on him you can teleport and if your really desperate you can the worst thing of them all…

driving with the Bus to the nearest witch

but there is no way in hell you will be stuck in an overcrowded hall were there is a 50/50 the attendants don´t know what deodorant is

also you hate crowds and you just know Levi took you mainly as his emotional support Human

he calls it a Date but you call it torture

throwing you in a pool of lava would have been more merciful

Satan:

usually a Date at the libarary would be a nice thing but not when it combines the words

Devildom+ Satan+ cursed Library

but you know what the result it is, just torture plain old torture for Humans

the walls are screaming, the books are screaming, the chairs are bleeding and covered in nails the only normal things are the Librarians telling people to be quiet and killing them after telling them a third time

but everything else sucks

so you decided to do the only smart thing you could think of, ditching Satan while he was focused on a book

he´ll be fine though there are a bunch of books around he won´t even notice you are gone

the only time he would mind you ditching him was when you found a Cat but otherwise no care from him

Asmodeus:

yeah you know you should be ready to deal with a horde of fangirls/boys when you go out with Asmo and that he will obviously get distracted by their never ending flattery but man did he ignore you hard on your last date

so mo surprise that after leaving you alone for an hour in a very overcrowded and loud club (thanks to Asmo) you just decided to leave

if he hasn´t noticed you that far he won´t notice you when you´re gone either

and you were partially right he did notice you ditched him but only after three hours… which doesn´t make him look all to good

wasn´t the first time this happened though, this happens a lot actually but this time it didn´t take him long to notice you were gone

one time he didn´t notice you left him alone for 24 hours

Beelzebub:

in this case it was less running away and more trying to save yourself because while you do know he means no harm but fucking hell does he overestimate your stomach capacity

it doesn´t matter how long you spent with Beel you won´t ever be able to eat as much as the Avatar of Gluttony

you know but Beel doesn´t really see it in his mind there exist no thing as being full

which is true for him but only him

so to save yourself from bursting from the seams you decided to pay for the current food he order (and everything he might order later) and just teleported back home

Belphegor:

there aren´t many dates with Belphie and if naps count as dates you would run from every second date

he´s the Avatar of Sloth so not like you could say anything but there is no way you would sleep as much as him without some manipulation on his part

which yeah does make you technically ditch him but you also ditched him on a real date

he invited you to a walk outside and fell asleep after an hour, which is what always happens but there is now way in Hell you would drag him back home so you just left him there

he was fine though, this happened more times than anybody could count and he always returns home in good condition

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #lucifer avatar of pride #obey me lucifer #mammon avatar of greed #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #leviathan avatar of envy #satan avatar of wrath #obey me satan #asmodeus avatar of lust #obey me asmodeus #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #belphegor avatar of sloth

109 notes · View notes

bassettmemes · 1 year

Text

THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS. ↳ quotes from the love hypothesis by ali hazelwood. some quotes have been edited for clarity or usability.

"carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man."

"i'm going to kill you."

"i wish you could see yourself the way i see you."

"i'm starting to wonder if this is what being in love is. being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole."

"you can fall in love. someone will catch you."

"i'll come find you, and i'll take care of you."

"did you... did you just kiss me?"

"expiration dates are for the weak."

"i think about you before falling asleep. then i dream of you."

"it's fine. more material for my title ix complaint."

"this might be inappropriate, but, you are really extraordinary."

"i know it’s scary, being vulnerable, but you can allow yourself to care."

"everyone likes tall, broody, sullen hunks with genius iqs."

"a good kiss will do that: make a girl forget herself for a while."

"i liked you when i didn’t know you, and now that i do know you, it’s only gotten worse."

"you could stay mad, and we could go to your lab and throw test tubes full of toxic reagents at each other until the pain of third-degree burns overrides your shitty mood? sounds like fun, no?"

"my heart may be broken, but my brain is doing just fine."

"i'm fine. i mean, i wish i were dead, but aside from that..."

"i've never been surer of anything. except maybe cell theory."

"hypothesis: the more i mention an attachment in an email, the less likely i will be to actually include said attachment."

"are they deporting you back to canada because we've been sharing a netflix password?"

"tell them we didn't know it was a federal crime."

"i think that somewhere along the way i forgot that i was something. i forgot myself."

"academia takes a lot from you and gives back a little."

"not having a life came in handy sometimes."

"i do reserve the right to comment on your abysmal taste in men."

"pumpkin spice is satan’s dandruff, harbinger of the apocalypse, and it tastes like ass—not in the good way."

"hypothesis: if i fall in love, things will invariably end poorly."

"you just had to go and make me fall for you."

"a heart will break even more easily than the weakest of hydrogen bonds."

"there will only be one bed. it doesn't matter what it says; it's always one bed."

"i must say, the line between excellent career choice and critical life screwup is getting a bit blurry."

"you probably don’t like ice cream anyway, because you don’t enjoy anything that’s good in life."

"i have access to your google calendar, asshole. you're not busy. if you don't want to hang out with me, you can just be honest."

"to be fair, i don't like people in general."

"how much do you hate this, on a scale from one to ‘correlation equals causation’?"

"hypothesis: any rumor regarding my love life will spread with a speed that is directly proportional to my desire to keep said rumor a secret."

"approximately two out of three fake-dating situations will eventually involve room-sharing; 50 percent of room-sharing situations will be further complicated by the presence of only one bed."

"i'm never going to get used to the fact that professors are real people and have first names."

"that’s the thing with science. we’re drilled to believe that false positives are bad, but false negatives are just as terrifying."

"maybe so many years alone has warped me in some fundamental way."

"did this fortune cookie just throw shade at me?"

"based on the available information and the data hitherto collected, my hypothesis is that the farther away i stay from love, the better off I will be."

"i had financially rich, but emotionally poor, parents."

"talking on the phone is the hardest, most stressful thing in the world."

"no. i don't want to fake break-up."

#sentence starters #sentence prompts #sentence starter #sentence meme #roleplay prompts #rp prompts #rp prompt #writing prompts #writing prompt #romance starters #romantic starters #romantic rp meme #the love hypothesis sentence starters #the love hypothesis rp meme #the love hypothesis starters

96 notes · View notes

avi17 · 2 years

Text

This started off as a reblog of @hellfiredm 's post about the Duffer bros shitty interview [here], but I thought it got too long for a reblog so-

My only disagreement with OP is that I don't think Eddie didn't want to graduate- it sounds like he very much wants to, both talking at school and mentioning in the RV that he swore to make something of himself and not to turn out like his dad (who we can guess from context is a criminal, my guess is that he's in prison). Also the fact that he's repeating senior year for a THIRD time- he's already got some income from dealing and I'm sure whatever Wayne does at the plant doesn't require a high school diploma. He could just drop out, especially after the second fail, but he didn't, he wants it.

Might be me projecting but he has MAJOR adhd energy to me- partly just in his mannerisms and how he talks, but also because of the exact things you've mentioned. He is smart, but only in the things he can actually focus on. He can devour thousands of pages of books, can learn complicated music by ear in a short time, can plot out dnd campaigns and make maps and do at least enough on the fly math to run a game (if you've never played, dnd involves a lot more math than you might expect 😂). But then he's bad enough in classes about similar things- math, literature, history- to be unable to even scrape a passing grade? That's exactly adhd, where you are smart but you hyperfixate on the things that interest you and absolutely can't focus on the stuff that doesn't. And he lives in a trailer park 40 years ago, nobody is taking him in to get this diagnosed or getting him on meds. They just assume he's stupid or doesn't care. But nobody is gonna voluntarily do that shit THREE times if they don't care. He probably doesn't even understand why he can't just fucking get it together in class. Underneath all the bitching about conformity and shit, he probably feels like he's stupid and that breaks my heart. I feel like he absolutely could have graduated with the help of someone who understood what was going on and why he was struggling, and I really love the fics where that actually happens.

But yeah, those are remarkably shitty things to say about a character who more viewers have seen themselves in than maybe any other on the show. I feel like the Duffers were Mike once- they think they've been outsiders because they had nerdy interests, and maybe they were to a degree, but that's made them think they understand what it's like to be a true outsider and they don't. They've been Mike, but they've never been Will or Lucas or Robin or Eddie. That's why they've got these views that are more conservative and shitty than you'd expect, that's why this show does great with making lots of nostalgic nerdy references but then handles things like race and queerness and neurodivergency so badly.

And yeah, after Barb's "chemical toxin" and the "mall fire" and all the other craziness, you can't convince me that they couldn't have come up with a cover for this. Especially with Hopper back, and especially since the town is fucking split in half by a giant interdimensional hell crater that Eddie obviously didn't cause (even if some people thought he did with some kind of Satanic magic, that's not something you can even remotely prove in court.) He might still be guilty in the eyes of too many residents of Hawkins to stay there safely, but if he was cleared legally he could leave and have a life somewhere else. In no way was him having absolutely no future inevitable.

I'm just. They conceived him as a "tragic figure" but it's not a tragedy that he gave his life if he had no future. It's not a tragedy that he gave his life if his life didn't have worth. Fucking hell.

Let's be real, they conceived him as a sacrificial lamb for a couple minutes of tearjerking like they do every season and he totally got away from them and now they're in a dilemma because they absolutely had no plans to bring him back but they didn't realize he would be THIS loved. I think it would fuck up their preconceived story for s5 too much to have him just come back, but I am hoping for at least some cameos in one form or another. Though honestly, if they think this poorly of him, maybe they should just let him rest. :/

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things meta #Joseph quinn #stranger things 4 #st4 #fuck the duffers #first time using that tag oof xD #eddie munson meta #eddie munson has adhd #will die on that hill tbh #eddie munson deserved better

63 notes · View notes

det2x-fanfic-dump · 3 months

Text

NRC Housewarden and their Sins: Leona

Fanfiction: Episode 02: Satan, the Kitty Detective

Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51956152/chapters/131441947

1. Leona Kingscholar and Satan

Sin: Wrath

Disclaimer: This is a Headcanon with spoilers to the fanfic and the actual canon of Twisted Wonderland and Art used is not mine

Leona has a similar hatred against his older brother like Satan is to Lucifer. However, he didn't show it at first

With Satan's involvement in deducing the Spelldrive incidents, Satan easily found the culprit behind the case.

With Satan present at the time, he triggered the suppressed anger and frustration Leona had against Malleus and the tournament.

Despite Leona having respect to others and to himself, his pride was tarnished and was filled with wrath causing him to threaten MC and Satan just to stop whatever Riddle is planning to do.

During Leona's overblot, Satan learned he is similar to Leona despite everything.

Satan got frustrated as well as Leona reminds him of himself and how he is overshadowed by Lucifer.

In the end, it was a battle between felines. A demonic housecat versus a demonic lion.

2. Leona Kingscholar and Leviathan

Sin: Envy

Leona Kingscholar is actually a jealous individual to those who are better than him.

After Leona's overblot, Levi was found unconscious, covered in ink.

Leona and Levi's first meeting wasn't as pleasant since Levi locked himself in the bathroom because Savanaclaw is full of normies.

Just like Satan is to Riddle, Leona is Levi's magic source...

However, Levi is the third oldest so it's only like 75%.

EXPLANATION WHY ENVY

Leona is JEALOUS of his older brother like Scar from Lion King.

Leona may indeed be lazy at first, seeing he's sleeping a lot. However, I see him as a hardworking and diligent person if he's really try to persevere. Leona is wise but inferiority complex bested him.

Levi also is like that, self-criticizing and self-doubting. Always comparing himself to others. Just like Leona, he always compare himself that they both don't know their potential or have to really tell themselves or by other people that they can do it.

Given a benefit of a doubt, Maybe in an alternate reality where he was given a chance to prove his worth. Maybe he won't be sleeping all the time as the game showed him to be but he'll probably procrastinate and still hang out in the garden to take a break or something.

Transcript Version of the Picture:

That hatred Leona had is actually Envy.

He's jealous of why Malleus and Diasomnia is better.

He's jealous of how his brother is noticed by a lot of people. They were praised. They were given attention.

#obey me #twisted wonderland #headcanon #7 sins #obey me x twisted wonderland #crossover #leona kingscholar #leviathan obey me

5 notes · View notes

devilisaloser · 4 months

Text

Philip smiled brightly at the compliment and lifted his hand to fist-bump him in return. Maybe this wasn't much, but Damien clearly had an influence on Pip; often leading him to causing mischief just like the Devil Prince did. This, staying at the library? That was his favourite kind. Nothing too evil, nothing that dangerous, yet still mischievous and fun. Not to mention he would get to spend the time alone with Damien, which was definitely worth it.

"Oh dear, that sounds like a lot of fun!" he exclaimed in a hushed voice, taking a spot next to Damien, hiding together. "I definitely want to watch some movies! Did you have anything in mind?" he asked, staring at him. Maybe being evil wasn't in his style, but it felt different with Damien in the picture. There's the awe in his gaze as he stares at him, impressed and ready to follow him through the plan. Maybe he was a little too excited about the whole idea because as he listened to Damien's plans, his wings, horns, and tail popped out. He was unable to hold them back, but he didn't mind and didn't even notice at first. Not until his tail brushed against Damien as he waved it.

There's no time to comment on that when Damien warns him about the librarian. Pip moves to duck even lower, hiding behind Damien slightly, looking up curiously. It might be one of the wildest things he had done in a while, which likely says a lot about the scales of what he considers 'wild'. He waited until the steps went further towards the door, peeking slightly to watch as the librarian left the room and locked it, unknowingly trapping Pip and Damien inside.

Of course, that's exactly how it was supposed to be. Pip chuckled and turned to look at Damien. "What do you want to do first." @pips-cup-of-tea

---

Damien was sure that they had been caught by the look on the librarian’s face. Her nose was scrunched and her eyebrows were raised as if she had smelled something terrible and she was looking right at them! That was when she snatched a half eaten bag of chips off of the nearest study table, tossed it into one of the little trash cans, and turned to leave. They had been spared by the perfect distraction in the form of a bag of off brand cheesy poofs! Even with Pip’s wings hovering right up to the third row up of books on the shelf they were hiding behind for a moment, the librarian hadn’t seen a thing! After the sound of the doors locking echoed off the walls, Damien felt his shoulders lower: they did it! A couple of years ago, this would have been a nightmare of Damien’s; he hated it when Satan would tell him that he had a fun night planned for the two of them, and half of the time, that night would be a night in Satan’s library in Hell; if Damien had to hear one more love poem, even if it included blood, horror, zombies, and all of that cool stuff, it would be his true villain origin story. Now, though? He and Pip had a movie night of blood, horror, and zombies ahead of them, but without all of the rhyming sentences and cheesy declarations of love! That, and, he guessed that Pip could make some suggestions, too. It was only fair.

“So, I was thinking, we could start with the new ‘Nuns in Alabama’ or we could go with the classic ‘Lint Man’,” he flipped through a couple of DVDs in his hands, “It’s about a guy who leaves lint as evidence after he takes over space stations on Mars,” he summarized, skimming over the description on the back of the case. “That’s not even realistic. Wouldn’t the lint just float away in space?” With that, Damien tossed the case over his shoulder and it bounced twice on the ground before skidding to a stop in the next aisle down.

“There’s ‘The Forgotten Lasagna’. Looks pretty good,” he handed the beat up case to Pip with a picture of a piece of Lasagna with a pair of robot arms and legs on it. The background was of tall walls of fire, a detail that had caught Damien’s eye when he was pulling a ton of DVDs off of the shelves earlier that night. “Unless you want to do something else? Uncap all of the dry erase markers? Circle all of the Waldos in the Where’s Waldo? books? Boot up the computers and play some games?”

#pipscupoftea #para: night at the library

5 notes · View notes

rphelperblog · 2 years

Text

Legacies Being A Meme Quote Rp Meme

some quotes changed for better rp purposes but feel free to change pronouns and etc- part one

“Wow, this car is very white of you.”

“No, I said some of you may die, but it could be all of you.”

“sorry, my diginity would not fit in the unitard.”

“Wait there was a minotaur?”

“pheonix powers activate.”

“You’re dead, walk it off.”

“oh intergrity... I don’t miss it.”

“Me defying your father isn’t a surprise. It’s consistent.”

“sweet sweet carbs.”

“his ability to get away from me as soon as possible.”

“Your here...oh my god we are in hell.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t your own reflection?”

“I stole your butterfly kisss in third grade.”

“Neither does a stuffed elephant.”

“Really some hurt feelings and this is what we are doing.”

“religion has no place in the classroom.”

“Are you going to be good cop or bad cop? Because I don’t think emo cop is a thing.”

“I’m trying to work so if you don’t fa la la la leave, I will give you another piercing.”

“Sorry no time for bitchy banter.”

“Oh you are still a bitch. Thank God!”

“why are you carrying a sword?”

“I thought I hated him too, but I am kind of turned on by him.”

“Lost what? my boyfriends fashion sense... I’m sorry.”

“I am my biggest fan and even know she will squash me like a bug.”

“No offense but you and your crossbow are kind of manspread in front of three powerful witches.”

“why were you in kansas?”

“said the other narcist,”

“Look technically I was trying to kill you and your sister but that is gone.”

God forbid, you use your brain instead of punching everything.”

“I suck at lying. Your great at it.”

“Plan b involves me getting naked.”

“When have we ever been that luck? that was not a pun!”

“i’m unique and special and for some reason i am really emo about it.”

“Wait here while I go sacrifice myself unnecessarily.”

“Say the lines as written.”

“I know this is important, but you could put pants on first.”

“It’s a gas guzzeling atrocity?’

“I would have thought you would want to spend the break with your hipster boyfriend.”

“It’s called intergrity. maybe there is a bracelet for that.”

“Punch buggies. No returns.”

“Woop, road trip.”

“This is a nergasm.”

“I was thinking we would knock.”

“Try flapping your arms.”

“This extreme act of selflessness cancels out all of my other bad deeds.”

“Congrats! your an orphan and an only child.”

“Don’t worry everyone is dead here.”

“literally, no one knows who you are.”

“Dad card. That is a low blow.”

“Did she who shall not be named just fatshame me?”

“I was happy and then I saw you.”

“i’m trying to rise so let me freaking rise.”

“Go away, evil one.”

“For the love of frodo, go rescue your hobbit.”

“Unchain me and maybe I will tell you thrift store hobbit.”

“how could anyone hate ewoks? they are teddy bears that took on the empire?”

“Girls are missing so get your wedgie trauma under control.”

“At least you know why I am screwed up.”

“In a nutshell, it says hit it hard and repeat as needed.”

“I was making an entrance mophead.”

“to the blonde mobile!”

“You are fine... You are just... a little slutty.”

“I have a lot of secs.”

“There’s a climate change joke in their somewhere.”

“You are not suggesting we kill a unicorn!”

“oh look, it’s satan in a crop top.”

“Do you ever just say things once?”

“Well, my first instinct was to leave you in the alley.”

“Because the only thing that I am feeling is irriation bordering on homicidal rage.”

“You told me to connect with people!”

“Jocks like you seem to find their identity in teams because you are completely unremarkable for themselves.”

“I heard about what happened to your girlfriend.On the plus side we are all glad to find out your are single.”

“My heart wrote a little song for you so why won’t you listen and dance with the rhythm.”

“well, at least you have the moppet.”

“why are you caring a sword?”

“Are we poor?”

“We have got bigger fish to fry.”

“God- that was my inside voice.”

“At least, I have a family unlike you. Orphan.”

“No offense, but no.”

“I’m trying to rise above it so let me freaking rise.”

“I don’t mind having a roomate, but I don’t like you.”

“marry me instead. Make me the happiest wolf in the pack.”

“I’m wearing polyester.”

“You poked yourself.”

“They said no.”

51 notes · View notes